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luvelylaconic · 2 months

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Rescue Them. (Levi Ackerman)

Pairings: Levi Ackerman/Reader Levi Ackerman/You Reader/Sadness

Summary: In which, you are a squad leader for the survey corps. Your team labeled "the rescue team." In lieu of levis squad, you lose yours instead.

Warnings: Heavy on the ANGST !!! 57th expedition type of angst (ifykyk), Mentions of Death, Described Death, Injury, Grief, Panic Attack, Hidden Relationship, Fluff (in terms of the captain)

Anxiety began to set in your stomach, the tensity of the expedition began to take its toll on you. You let out a sigh of built up air you kept in your lungs for far too long, looking at the backs of your team riding in the distance, the blue "star of life" emblem plastered on all of your soldiers. A subtle reminder you had the responsibility of saving many lives, adding more fuel to the fire of worries.

You then had to remind yourself that is was not ethical for a squad leader to be experiencing such emotions, you would simply let your anxieties seep into your soldiers minds, hindering their confidence and thus, their performance as well. And that could not be afforded when it was your team in particular that was the barrier between life and death for many; the rescue team- devoted to saving soldiers that are in a state of destress, threat, or danger. Saving the wounded and crippled, applying first aid and relocating them away from any possible event that has gone wrong. All of it rested in yours and your team of five, hands.

But you could not shake the trepidation that this particular expedition was causing you. It did not seem to be going right by the slightest means. Your team already had to be redirected several times, constantly seeing the hue of the flare gun color that signaled an area was in need of your help. The formation had also been breached numerous times, and the initial plan to secure the female titan had just failed.

In attempts to ease your overactive mind, you made your way to Erwin as your team continued their way towards a tree of awaiting injured soldiers that needed dire attention.

"Erwin."

He simply nodded to your voice as he continued on his horse, Hange turning their attention to you as well; a look of wary plastered. That alone did not make you feel any better.

"My team is showing signs of exhaustion. If it continues like this, I can't ensure that we will be performing the best aid.", you said in the most stern voice you could, given the commander does in the slightest, scare you. But when met with silence you added, "I need instruct-"

"I want you to join Levi's squad. Provide what remaining support you have left into Eren, we can't risk his loss.", was all the commander gave in return, adding one last bit of information, "But don't let them know your team is there. Watch from a distance and only intervene when you deem it necessary in means of protection."

Although confused, you knew better than to question his orders, in which you simply nodded and did as instructed. You halted your horse and made your way back, gathering your team and making your way to Eren's location, opting for odm gear to ensure the aspect of being concealed away.

Your team was spread out in multiple positions in attempts of causing the least amount of noise possible in one area. The plan did decently well, as your team managed its way beside the other squad, the natural noises of the forest drowning out the whirs of the odm gear.

"Captain.", you heard one of your men whisper to you, "There's an unidentified scout closer inwards towards Captain Levi's team on the left flank, they have yet to notice us but we can't guarantee they wont."

You quickly looked over to the left side to scope the area, setting your grapples towards it, "Adler, take the high ground here. I'll take care of it."

With a swift change in directions, you made your way to the rear left flank, taking notice of the scout in question that was hidden beneath the cloak. They moved quickly throughout the trees, close enough for Gunther to take notice,

He eyed the scout for awhile, trying to figure out who it was,

"Captain?", he questioned with no response, as the figure continued on as if they were ignoring him. But it quickly escalated once the cloaked figured lunged towards Gunther with their blades drawn.

It all happened so fast, but one of your men was faster than your own processing time; the one stationed below quickly shot up, pushing Gunther away as they took the slash instead.

Brenner is gone.

Without hesitation you blew your personal flare, letting your team know to regroup and to warn Erwin that a rescue has failed. You finally made your presence be known to the others, including the dangerous threat.

Gunther stared in complete shock at the dead body that shielded him from the blow, dangling from the gear wires. It quickly gathered the attention from the rest of the squad who stared with wide eyes.

While they were distracted, you made sure your flare did its duty and ascended the trees for Erwin to see, then making your way to the high ground, settling on a tall tree branch as you looked down at the area. The mysterious scout was gone, which only meant one thing.

"Captain!?", Petra yelled from afar, making her way towards you, in which you halted her,

"It's her." was all you warned in advance before hearing the noise of a titan transformation.

It all made sense now why Erwin instructed you to aid Eren. The female titan was coming for him, most likely in attempts of a bigger motive and plan you had yet to learn. But you're sure Erwin had some sense of knowing, and the commander wanted the least amount of possibility of our titan shifter in getting captured. Plus, the added factor of being hidden helped in the case of any surprise attacks.

Within a few seconds, you heard your team emerge from the trees, waiting for your instructions,

"Let the special operations squad cease the female titan. We will do what we can to safeguard and ensure the success of it"

Your team was quick to take action, surrounding the female titan from afar as the other squad began their plan to desist. You took the front, positioning yourself in the path of the female titan, ready to intervene if anything were to go wrong. But you were nearly sure you wouldn't have to, you held confidence in the other squads abilities, you had to if it meant any chance of survival.

And it was most impressive to see how well the special operation squad worked together, knowing what to do without physically saying it. A warm feeling entered your chest knowing your team worked worked in similar means. You had to push aside the grief you felt creeping into your conscious knowing one of them was gone. That was something to feel later, when this was all over.

Petra and Olou managed to take out the titans sight after slicing the eyes, collapsing her to the floor. It all was going accordingly, but something didn't feel right- the titan shouldn't have given up so easily. And when Eld went for another attack, you could feel the titan tense; she was going to counter. You propelled yourself forward in retaliation.

But another one of your team members, one that was closer in proximity, took notice too. And out of sheer possibility and chance that they happened to be positioned closer, they got there first. And they were the one to push Eld away and get mauled in half in place of you or Eld.

Astrid was gone.

Damn their keen senses.

"Fall back!", you yelled as your team, or what was left of a team, obediently listened. But the others did not, attempting to once again attack.

"I said fall back!", you reiterated in desperation as Petra and Olou when it for a duo attack, going in fast to only be met with hardened, diamond like skin. Two of yours went to retrieve them after their blades broke.

The two on your squad successfully grabbed Olou and Petra, saving them from the swat of the titans hand. But they quickly had to let go of them once the titan then took hold of their odm wires instead. Their deaths were granted quickly once they were forcefully slung into the trees.

Ansel and Adler were gone; twins who shared the same birth, died together as well.

In frustration, you made your way to the others.

"Get out of here, or we all die!", you yelled at everyone as you led yourself into the sight of the female titan, serving as a distraction. "Don't let my squad's deaths be in vain.", you added with all the seriousness you could muster, given you were on the brink of a meltdown.

After the fall of your men, the special operations seemed distraught. Especially after their many failed attempts, which rarely ever occurs. They finally seceded and withdrew, steering away from the titan.

You then grappled into the titan, swinging towards the massive body. Looking at it closely, it heavily resembled a human- a specific scout to be exact. But you disregarded that thought as you went in for an attack, only for the titan to crystalize once again.

Fuck.

As you withdrew away, you still tried your best to serve a diversion as you grappled and went in again. However, the female clearly didn't obey in your wishes as it continued to run towards the larger group, causing Petra to look back in alarm. She quickly froze in fright as she hit the ground, slowing her down and closing in the space she had to escape, close to being trampled by the titans ruthless sprint.

Without a second thought, you dived towards Petra to steer her out the deadly path, colliding harshly due to not being able to prepare for the change in direction. But not only did it hurt from the impact, you felt a sharp pain in your abdomen.

Petra still had her broken blades drawn, the jagged weapon piercing right through your stomach as you held onto her, breaking her fall onto the ground. Your head taking a hit on a nearby tree.

After that, everything was blurry. You could hear screams and then the sound of Eren transforming. But it was all muffled, like you were underwater. Your eyelids heavy, the sharp pain you felt now becoming dull.

As squad leader of the rescue team, you failed.

It all went black after.

The expedition was now days over, everything slowly turning back to normalcy as squad practice returned. But Levi still struggled.

As for the each day that passed by, only added more days to the time you had yet to awake. You were in a coma, induced by the amount of blood you lost and the severe concussion to your head.

All caused by his team and Erwin's orders.

And Levi couldn't help but hold resentment. But it was a feeling he has to attempt to keep at bay, or else it would be painfully obvious.

Obvious that he loves you, of course.

He knew the hidden relationship that you two held would be a burden and cause issues with time, only making it more difficult to conceal. But he didn't expect it to be so soon.

He had only recently gave in to his selfish desires. It was a mere two months ago where you shared a kiss and began the typical, relationship "like" status, given he was still new to everything and also had his work as a top priority. And that was also only after many years of unresolved feelings he had pushed aside, convincing himself he should rid himself of any types of feelings all together.

But he couldn't. He finally broke. He hated the thought of you seeing another man, of finally giving up on him. He hated the thought of never being able to experience all the imageries he had ashamedly had over the years. He was humanities strongest, but weak to his desires. Weak to you.

And he couldn't help but feel guilty that he made the wrong choice, that it was all his fault and he only put you in danger. That this was another form of cruel punishment after all the sins he committed during his time underground. It was Isabel and Farlan first, and now you were next. But for now, all he could do was take his anger out elsewhere.

So here he stood in Erwin's office, patronizing him once again for the orders he given that day,

"It was a bad call on your part. You knew the dangers of it and still sent out one of our most valuable teams to their deaths.", he spat. It was rare he ever stood up to Erwin, given the nature of their relationship. But in this particular case, he couldn't help it.

"My top priority was Eren. Sending that team out helped in keeping him safe, did it not?", Erwin sighed as he put his paperwork down to divert his attention to Levi, his icy blue eyes growing tired. "As for the team, I did not expect their deaths and it has served as a major blow to the Survey Corps. But their deaths were not in vain, I can guarantee that. They served their purpose."

Thinking over Erwin's words, he thought back to the day of the expedition. Seeing the flare color meant for warning of a failed rescue set off near the area his team was at, he knew then something had to have gone absolutely wrong, and he was only reassured of it when hearing Eren transform shortly after. It brought back a feeling of grief he hoped to have never felt again, but he was not granted such luxuries it seems.

And it was you that payed the price. Your team gone, only to be met with life trying to escape your grasp as well.

Erwin stared down Levi, knowing he was in thought. His eyes scanning all the subtle hints that only added to his notion. The commander was attentive, and surely far from dumb, so he was well aware of the relation between his two squad leaders. For he had a guilty pleasure in watching it play out, feeling a little ounce of joy for them. But he was also a military commander above all;

"Look, Levi. I am aware you may have certain... extended feelings towards this. I have turned a blind eye for now since I see no reason to interfere. But do not let it come in between work and the reality of this. You are a soldier as well."

Levi knew he was right. He had to accept the nature of this job, which in turn was the nature of your job as well. You were strong, smart, and a natural born leader that he had rarely had doubts about or reservations about your performance. But some things were simply out of his control- or anyones, for that matter.

So with a last sigh of defeat and perhaps annoyance, he exited the office without another word, making his way to his team's training ground where they all waited for his appearance. He was late, minutes late, which was severely out of character for him. He would typically be the one to scold any of his soldiers that dared to be any form of late.

But he dreaded seeing his team. Usually, the first training after an expedition was dedicated to rigorous formation practice and conditioning. This time however, all he had ready was his overwhelming amount of emotions that threatened to flood out his stoic damn he built.

So when he came into view, he didn't bother staring at them, but rather took interest in the open field beside them. Memories came quickly.

The silence broke,

"Captain, i'm sorry for our failure as a team and the consequences it brought others. I ensure you we will work hard to make sure it never happens again.", Petra said with shaky voice. Guilt riddled the pure heart of hers, weighing down on her for days. Especially knowing the very one that saved her life, might lose theirs in return.

But those words didn't make him feel any better. Levi was about to snap at them; saying every crude, hurtful, thing that he could think of. To pour out all the disappointment he had felt, hoping it would hurt them in any sort of capacity in comparison to what he felt. But he hesitated.

Only because he knew what you would think of it. You were constantly looking out for people, nurturing their spirits and well being, even if your job for the day was far from over. He knew you wouldn't want him to punish his team- that you had no regrets and willingly saved their lives because you simply wanted to.

So he bit his tongue.

And it seems that him doing something positive for once, finally blessed him in return.

Hange came running, stumbling upon their own feet. With their last ounce of breath they could muster, they spoke,

"Levi, she's awake."

- You woke up a daze, a headache instantly assaulting your mind. It only got worse after Hange screamed at your awakening, rambling some incoherent words before running out the building.

After your eyes finally took focus, you looked around. You were in a treatment room. Flowers and cards covering any spot of counter or bedside space.

Oh, right.

You attempted to get up, only to be meant with restraints. Multiple IV's were punctured into your arm, your whole mid section covered in a tight gauze. It was only then did you feel the stabbing pain in your stomach, and the slight itch the presumed stitches left.

Everything felt confining, frustration irked you.

Your head jolted to the door after hearing multiple footsteps on the creaky, wooden floor of the medical ward. You hoped one of them belonged to him, only then you would feel better.

The door then opened and you were greeted by the entirety of the special operations squad, but your eyes only quickly found the steel grey ones, looking back at you with concern. The frustrations you felt earlier, dissipated.

But as you then slowly met the eyes of every other soldier, sorrow suddenly hit. Seeing their faces only warped and reminded you of the ones you lost. And there was one missing-

"Amelia?", you questioned, but instantly knew your answer when all of the faces downturned.

"Baker, Amelia, died by titan upon trying to rescue Eren after being captured. The time they served fighting abled Captain Levi and Mikasa to reach the area in due time and successfully return him.", Gunther, whom rarely every talks, stated.

You couldn't stop the tears. Although you were happy to protect and rescue arguably the most important people of the survey corps, you still can't help but feel you completely failed as a squad leader.

You always engraved it into your squads minds that they had the important role of rescuing people, to take pride in it and feel accomplished over the countless lives saved. But what you failed to realize, even after three years of being a captain... who was there to rescue them?

How tragically comedic and ironic; nobody rescued the rescue team.

And you couldn't help but feel like it was all your fault. Why did you happen to survive and not anyone else? Did you not try enough in comparison? Why didn't you do more to save them?

As the pondering to yourself continued, your surroundings soon began to close in, not even taking into account the other people in the room.

Your breathing quickened.

Your heart rate escalated.

A ringing began to evade your ears.

But just as fast as it came, it all stopped.

Since it all seemed to ease when you felt a calloused hand softly hold the side of your cheek, deterring your attention and self punishment away from yourself and onto the touch instead. The smell of tea leaves and lavender soon hitting your nose.

It was Levi.

Upon the realization, you subconsciously melted into his touch, breathing in his scent. It all managed to dwindle down the panic within you, especially after looking into the eyes you so desperately wanted to see again, his eyes met yours in return.

You then left his gaze and quickly looked around you, hoping nobody saw your moment of affection with him, risking getting caught. But he seemed to read your worries instantly,

"I had them leave."

With a nod you leaned back into him, letting his hand find your face again,

"I wouldn't have cared regardless.", he added, before turning your face back to his, "I hope you never do any dumb shit like that ever again."

You simply smiled, knowing this is the way Levi showed he cared. After years of being infatuated with this man, you came to appreciate the words he did spare, even if they didn't come off the most kind. You wouldn't have it any other way.

You moved over on the tiny cot, making just enough room for Levi to sit against the bed. And with a slight wince, you sat yourself up as well. Sitting beside him, enjoying his presence in companion with silence.

For that is all you needed at this given moment; just his presence. You would greedily take more when you felt better, when the time was right.

Time heals, in a multitude of ways.

It was the next day, the night slowly creeping in, the natural light the sun graced is long gone. You lit a candlestick to substitute.

Levi has been in your company majority of yesterday and today. Even taking the risk of sleeping overnight in the chair adjacent from you, much to your surprise. With the exclusion of his morning meeting with Erwin and training with his team, he had been there.

He had now long gone for supper with his team, promising to bring back more appetizing food than the one given at the ward. As you impatiently waited, you began going through the many gifts left to you from the others, hoping to have time pass by a tad faster.

There were many notes from others, wishing you "Get Well's" and giving condolences. And although you were very much struggling with the reality that your team was gone, it seemed to truly help reading all the kind messages.

You were also left tons of flowers of various colors and scents, adding more of a lively nature to the otherwise bleak room. And deep down you knew that the one hand picked bouquet of your favorite flowers, neatly bundled in twine, was from none other than Levi. Even if he refused to admit it.

But as you were nearing the end of your gifts, you took notice that the biggest one of them all - most definitely from a costly flower shop in an expensive vase, had a note tucked away in the bushel of it. You took it out.

Dear, Name

I am in writing in hopes that I hopefully alleviate even an ounce of grief you may hold. For I am forever in debt to you, as your brave and caring soul saved my life.

I am sincerely sorry for the loss of your team. I will forever hold that weight on my shoulders as deserved. But it will never compare to yours. However, you are strong and I have no doubts you will persevere.

But overall, thank you for the altruism you demonstrated that day, along with your team. The special operation team is forever grateful, even if all of us may not directly show it. We all care in our own ways.

Especially Levi. Although I had my suspicions, everyone was dealt a great surprise in his reaction to your state. After his retrieval of Eren, he was quick to find his way to you. I was of course by your side, never leaving it after the fall. I had used my cape in attempts to stop the bleeding.

But the second he got there, you were out of my care and fully in his. He would not leave you out his sight, even when the person medically aiding you made a sly comment about him being in the way, he quickly dismissed it after the glare Levi had given.

And as we were being trailed by titans on the way back, he refused to let them dispose of your teams' bodies in attempts to make the cart lighter. He knew how much care you had for them, and the importance you hold in bringing back bodies to their families, knowing you rescue even the dead if it meant the family would cope better.

I know you already know this - but take it from a member of his squad that has served him for years. I have never once seen him demonstrate this level of care for anyone else. And I think that speaks for itself.

I added this story in hopes to brighten your mood once again, knowing Levi would never tell you this himself. And please, never hesitate to ask anything of me. I owe it to you, and the memory of your team. Each individual member holds a place in my heart.

With much love, Petra Ral.

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