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#sorry this was going to be longer but i was having a focus problem
bangcakes · 4 months
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#personal#im like so happy rn. but also terrified#bc like. uh. gotta go back to the real world of having a job after bein in school for 3 years DNDNJDNDNDNDN#and also like. my boy problem. like NDJFJDJDJJDJDJDJD#big transitions oml#i can only do 1 thing at once and like so sorry to me but the job search thing is kinda taking a back seat NFNDDJFN#OH I HATE TO SAY IT. AS LIKE. A USUALLY CAREER DRIVEN PERSON BUT..................#JDJDJDJDJDJDDDJDNDNDNDNDND I CANT EVEN SAY IT............#but rn ya. my priorities.... im ashamed NDNNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNNDDNDND#but.... HHHHHHHHHHH its the more fun thing so !!!!!!!!!#but gah..... i also am like takin a break bc its like christmas n who the fuck is looking to hire rn lmao#the time between xmas n new years isnt real so !!!!#and also !!! i think i deserve a break after 4 months of non stop work !!!!!!!!!!#also like the faster i resolve my boy problem the easier itll be to focus#on job searching ?????#or like god i guess i could do both. my mom keeps being like.... youre both looking for jobs... why dont you ask him to do it together NDN#um.... 1. hes my competition LMAO. we literally had the same gpa down to the decimal#(tho this may no longer be the case bc we got our grades for the semester n mine went up. idk the state of his. would be fuckin funny if it#was still the same tho JDJDJFJDJ)#and 2..... LOL ID RATHER DO LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WITH HIM........#god idk where this post is going. but 1. i wished him merry christmas and he answered back with a 'merry christmas 😄' which !!!@@@#from a reserved/grumpyish guy...... im just kind of like NDNNDNDNDNDND IDK. IDKKKKK. LIKE IM HAPPY ???? BUT IM ALSO LIKE FREAKED OUT ??????#i dont think i'll be able to deal if he actually likes me back#and 2. i like have a draft message of like. asking him to hang out JJDJDJDNDNDM#if youve been following these posts.. maybe u remember me askin him if he wants to keep in touch with me n our mutual friend and he said#he would. so that friend is like. going away for a month and like ok lets be real. if i have to wait until feb to see him i'll um Die JDJJD#so i have a message planned. IDK WHEN IM GONNA SEND IT. BUT IT WILLLL GET SENT. I JUST.... HHHHHHH I HAVE TO GET THE NERVE....#but .... ya idk i hope he says yes but i'll also get if he says no. may be awks just the two of us. maybe we're not ready LMAO IDK. ive bee#alone with him maybe like. 30 mins max. and like the convo keeps going but there are pauses. IDK. maybe i should stop thinking and go to be
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wongyuuu · 4 months
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slow motion | ljh
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pairing: jihoon x f!reader genre: smut, fluff, friends to lovers word count: 3.4k summary: when you offer to cut jihoon's hair, he has a hard time holding himself back from touching you warnings: minors do not interact, swearing, petnames, fingering, multiple orgasm, penetrative sex a/n: against all odds, my current dream is to cut jihoon's hair
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Jihoon did his best to control himself, to keep his breathing even despite his heart racing inside his chest. He knew he shouldn't be behaving that way, he was sure it was wrong on so many levels that he didn't even want to think about it. But he couldn't just get his mind to stop for even a second.
All he could focus on was the feeling of your fingers in his hair, your breath gently touching the back of his neck. Keeping his hands to himself was proving to be a more difficult task than expected.
He should have known when he accepted your offer to cut his hair that he would be up to his neck in trouble. Jihoon was sure he shouldn't have accepted it, but when you offered he simply found himself saying yes, like he was agreeing to a movie or a pizza.
Maybe he shouldn't even have a crush on his best friend in the first place. Maybe that was a point to think about. But it was simply stronger than him. Even though Jihoon told his brain that it was wrong, that he shouldn't feel that way, it was simply impossible to ignore what he felt.
And he had tried, with all his might. He swore he did.
That's why he had pulled away from you a little. The old “out of sight, out of mind”. And for a while, you let the whole situation just move along how he wanted. You knew that if Jihoon walked away without saying anything it was because he had problems that he still didn't know how to deal with very well. And you knew him well enough to know when he needed time to himself.
But enough was enough and a month of absolute silence was all you were willing to give him. Thirty days was more than enough for him to understand what was happening. Thirty days was much longer than you wanted to be away from him.
So, without a heads up, to Jihoon or his friends, you simply showed up at his door.
You laughed at his sleepy face, his hair scattered everywhere and how he seemed completely lost while looking at you.
"Hi!" you said excitedly, walking through the door  without being invited in.
Jihoon was a very private guy, who liked having control over the situations he got himself into, but in that moment, he had no idea what was going on.
It wasn't like you to show up unannounced.
"Is everything okay?" he asked, rubbing his eyes, doing his best to shake off sleep.
You sat on the couch and looked around, dangling your feet. Jihoon's place was organized and very few things were out of place, just enough to show signs that someone lived there.
You had missed it there. As strange as it may seem, Jihoon's apartment was the place where you felt most comfortable, even more than in your own apartment. Maybe the fact that you shared an apartment with someone you didn't like very much had a big influence in how you felt. Or maybe it was just because of him.
"I should ask that, you were the one who disappeared," you said smiling.
That was a smile Jihoon knew well, one that said you were insecure, and weren't sure how to proceed. He hated that he was responsible for this.
Jihoon liked to be the person you felt most comfortable with, the one you ran to when you had problems. He didn’t want to be the one you felt like walking on eggshells around.
“I’m sorry,” he said, wishing you could feel his sincerity.
"Have you been out of the apartment?" you asked, knowing the answer would be no.
"Define out" he narrowed his eyes and sat on the other end of the couch. It didn't go unnoticed by you that he sat as far away as possible "I went to the gym"
It was your turn to narrow your eyes, focusing solely on him, analyzing every part of his face and slowly moving down to his shoulders. You weren’t sure that was how it worked at the gym, but you could have sworn his shoulders had gotten wider, his arms bigger too.
A gym rat you had called him once. At the time Jihoon had laughed, but you knew that the expression applied very well to him. If it were up to him all he would do was go to the gym and work
"Did you see people, interact with them?"
"There were people in the gym"
You rolled your eyes. That conversation wasn't going anywhere, you knew that. Jihoon wasn't the type of person to leave the house unless he had a good excuse and usually, his excuse came in the form of a text message from you.
You were the only person, perhaps followed by Soonyoung, who was able to get Jihoon out of the house to do anything other than go to the gym and maybe a few trips to the convenience store. It was a constant joke that he didn't even know what the streets around his building were like. A real joke, because he really didn't know.
Jihoon would only leave the house if he really needed to.
"You didn't even get a haircut"
You pointed to the mess on top of his head. Jihoon laughed and tried, without much success, to make his appearance a little more presentable.
The last time you saw each other, Jihoon's hair was a little longer than he usually wore it. And you liked it back then. Every time he showed up in front of you you felt your heart skip a beat and your breathing hitch. But it had grown too much, was blunt, and spread in all directions.
"I didn’t have time"
You laughed, nodding. You knew it was a lie, he was just too lazy, but you were willing to let it go.
"Want me to cut it for you?" you offered.
At that point, you would do anything to be close to Jihoon, even if it was for a short period of time and the excuse was terrible.
During the month you spent away from him, you felt as if an integral part of your life had simply disappeared. Jihoon was, you realized, a big part of your life. The truth was that you could live without him, yes. You could and you knew it, you just didn't want to.
Whenever you had the choice to be by his side or be far away, the choice would always be to stay with him.
Yes, he was, without a doubt, your best friend, but he was also much more. You actually wanted him to be more, but you weren’t sure how you could tell him that. You were afraid of opening up and losing what you had. So you decided that a bit little of him was better than nothing at all.
"Do you really think this is a good idea?"
You laughed and scooted closer to him, sitting right next to him, your thigh next to his. Jihoon swallowed hard, it wasn't what he expected, but he didn't have the strength to run away, not again.
"Soonyoung didn’t complaining"
"Soonyoung? You guys been talking?"
That fucking bastard, Jihoon mentally cursed his friend. Soonyoung had only mentioned you once and when Jihoon didn't pay much attention he didn't say anything else. Even if he hadn't said anything, even if he hadn't given any signs, he hoped his friend would still keep him informed about you and what you were up to. Apparently, he would have to "talk" to Soonyoung later.
"Yes, he came by last week. He got drunk after I cut his hair, I tried calling you, but when you didn't answer he ended up staying over"
You analyzed Jihoon's expressions, waiting for a change, and smiled discreetly when you saw what you wanted. He didn’t like what he was hearing.
Jihoon wanted to hit himself. He remembered the call, but it had been made from Soonyoung's phone, so he purposely ignored it. His friend had a habit of calling him just to test his patience, so sometimes Jihoon chose to simply ignore him.
He was sure he would answer all of his friend's calls and regret most of them.
"If you promise you won't make matters worse," he said running his fingers through his hair "you can cut it"
And that's how he ended up in that situation, trying to control himself to keep his hands away from you
Jihoon cursed under his breath when you turned around, standing in front of him. He was sitting on the edge of his bathtub. He swore he almost fainted when you positioned yourself in between his legs
You were too close, your scent invading every single one of his senses. Before he could even realize what he was doing, he was running the tip of his fingers on the back of your exposed knees. 
His faint touch was enough to make your legs tremble. You put your hand on his shoulder, whether it was to stop him or steady yourself was unknown. However, it wasn't enough to detain him, if anything it only pushed him to run his fingers up your thigh.
You did your best to ignore him and just kept on cutting his hair. If there was one thing you always loved about Jihoon was his hair, how he always let you play with it, how he would often fall asleep while you did so. 
"I'm almost done," you told him. 
Jihoon hummed, now both of his hands on your legs. He couldn't help but wonder if your skin was so hot because of him or because it was the middle of summer. 
Finally, you put the scissors over the sink. You tilted Jihoon's head back so he would look at you. You didn't expect to see his eyes so cloudy, almost as if he was sort of lost in his own mind, maybe the mind of their own that his hands created. 
"Okay" was all he offered.
You ran your hands over his hair one more time, making sure that it looked fine and even on both sides. You smiled, pleased with yourself. It had been a lie that you cut Soonyoung's hair. The last time you cut someone's hair was in the previous year when you cut Jihoon's for the second time because he, again, was too lazy to go to the barber and get it cut by a professional. You were about to move away from him so he could look at himself in the mirror when Jihoon held onto you, not letting you get away from him. 
He ran his hands up and down your tights, pulling you closer to him, his forehead resting on your stomach. 
"Don't do this" you begged him when you felt him push your shirt up, placing a kiss on your exposed skin "If you don't mean it, please don't do this"
"What if I do?" he asked, voice barely a whisper "What if I have meant it for a very long time?"
You always took pride in the fact that you knew how to read Jihoon when others couldn't tell the difference in his actions. He was known for his cold exterior but you knew just how warm and loving he could be. You had been on the receiving end of his love and affection so many times. But looking at him in that moment you didn't know if what you were seeing in his eyes was the truth or if it was what you wanted to see. 
"This could ruin everything," you said. 
He knew that. Oh, just how well he knew that. But in that moment he decided to throw all caution through the window and do the one thing he had been wanting for the past ten years.
"Yeah, it could"
Jihoon rose to his feet, his hands that previously were around your waist cradled your face. He looked at you once again, to make sure that he wasn't imagining it, that you wanted it too. 
You couldn't take your eyes away from his plump lips, from the way he wet them with the tip of his tongue. You held the shirt around his waist, steading yourself when he finally placed his lips on yours. 
His touch was tentative at first, still unsure, but when you sighed into the kiss, hand going to his neck, he deepened the kiss, urging your lips open. 
You wrapped your arm around his shoulder, pulling him as close to you as you possibly could.
You had been kissed before, many times, by many different people, and not once had it felt like that. There was this magnetic pull towards Jihoon, which had always been there, but neither of you had ever acted on it. Everything else seemed to disappear while he was around. It was like tunnel vision and he was all that you could see and, in that moment, feel.  You were sure that if a meteor suddenly fell in the next room neither of you would care, too lost into each other to even notice.
Jihoon kissed you like he was sharing his deepest secrets, one that was only for you to know. His touch was tender, enough to leave you like a fool, melting under him, but also passionate enough to make you dig your nails into his shoulder. 
He pulled away from you, just enough to look at you. He watched as you slowly opened your eyes, lips slightly red.
"Yeah, this changes everything," he said.
Jihoon kissed you again, taking slow steps back, one of his arms outstretched to make sure that you wouldn't hit your back on anything, while he guided you to his room. 
That night was going to change everything and he could only hope that it was for the better, that he finally would be one you looked to. 
You felt the back of your knees hit the side of his bed, his perfume taking over you. 
You kissed his jaw, then his neck, your fingers pushing his shirt up. Jihoon helped you pull his shirt over his head. Lightly, you ran your nails over his skin. You smiled when you saw the goosebumps on his skin. 
"There's no going back now," you said to him "If we do this..."
Jihoon didn't want to hear it. All doubts and worries could be processed later. The only thing he cared about was that you were in his arms, the one you place he wanted to have in you for years. He wasn't about to let go,  not when he was sure that you were just as into it as he was.
He looked at you while unbuttoning your shorts. His eyes were so intense that you almost wanted to look away. It was almost too much. But it was also not nearly enough, you realized. You wanted Jihoon all over, all at once. 
You felt your cheeks heat up when he slid his hand into your shorts, past your panties. His fingers touched you as if they knew you, like he had done the same things many times before. 
A soft moan left your lips when you felt his middle finger on your clit, rubbing it in small, slow, circles. You held onto him, gripping his arms to steady yourself. 
Slowly Jihoon pulled away from you, pushing you down on the bed while you did your best to get rid of your shorts and underwear,  suddenly hating how tight it was on your sweaty skin. 
"I've been waiting for this for a long time, darling," he said, biting your neck, his hands finding their way back into your folds "Take this off"
You pulled your shirt over your head and laughed when Jihoon made a sound on the back of his throat. You looked down at your bra, suddenly remembering that it was matching your discarded panties.
"You were not the only one waiting for this," you said, pulling him to you again. 
His fingers worked your clit harder, faster, more demanding than before. The thought of having you always wearing matching underwear, just in case he took his head out of his ass long enough, was enough to drive him crazy. He wanted it all and it wanted fast. 
Jihoon watched as you closed your eyes, back arching from the bed.
"I think I can make you cum like this" he said and you knew wore that cocky that always made your head spin "Look at me"
You opened your eyes as he dipped his finger into you, curling it. 
"Jihoon" you moaned when you felt the pressure of climax building up.
Your flushed cheeks, fresh out of an orgasm, was his favorite sight, Jihoon decided. 
He reached for his bedside table, pulling out a condom out of the first drawer. You watched in complete trance as he finally pushed his boxers out, your mouth suddenly watering at the thought of having him fill you. 
"You're too slow," you complained, pushing yourself up on your elbows, adjusting one of his pillows under your head.
He laughed, climbing back on the bed, on top of you. 
"I'm enjoying the moment"
"You know, you could enjoy it a lot more if you just fucked me"
Jihoon laughed again, pushing your legs back against your stomach and over his shoulders. 
He dragged his cock over your slit a few times, his tip getting caught on your sensitive clit every single time.
"Don't tease me"
Slowly he sank into you. Every tiny piece of him filled you, stretching you up. His name left your mouth as you got used to him.
"I'm ruined, baby" he caressed your tigh "Fucking ruined"
He took his time, each of his strokes languid. He pulled all the way out before pushing himself in again. He pressed your legs down, his weight over you in the most delicious way. 
His eyes rolled back as you walls kept sucking him in, a groan escaped his mouth. 
Jihoon's pace was torturously slow so when he applied the slightest bit of pressure on your clit you came apart under him. His name and incoherent sounds all you could manage. It didn't take long for him to follow. 
He stayed still for a few seconds, both of you trying to catch your breaths. You let your legs fall to the sides, the position awkward, but Jihoon didn't move, he only leaned forward and pressed his lips to your in a tender kiss. 
"You're staying, right?" he asked. 
You had never seen him look like that before, unsure. 
You ran your hand over his hair, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. 
"I'm not going anywhere"
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Jihoon was the first one to wake up. Not once in his life did he wake up feeling like that, happy. He wished that he could freeze that moment, or at least imprint it on his mind. You looked beautiful like that, just sleeping with your hair a mess. You looked peaceful. The frown you had the night before when you first walked inside his apartment completely gone. 
He wasn't sure how the dynamics would be with the two of you but didn't care. You had stayed the night with him and he was sure that it meant something. Jihoon knew that you wouldn't have allowed him to touch you if you weren't certain of it. Of course both of you were worried about how your friendship would move on from that and he could only hope that you could become more. 
So he held you tighter against his body, no room between the two of you. Jihoon felt your body tense for a second as you stretched your arms and legs. When you turned around in his arms, Jihoon closed his eyes, pretending to still be asleep. He did his best to keep his smile at bay when he felt your fingers running across his face, tracing his eyebrows, nose, cheeks and lingered on his lips.
As he opened his eyes, the only words that Jihoon could think of were I love you. You were the only person he ever thought of saying those words to, the only person he ever said them to. When he thought about his life you were always there by his side, not just as his best friend but also as the woman he loved.
That moment, Jihoon decided, was one that he was going to hold for dear life. 
"I have to pee" you said when you felt his arms tighten around you.
"Just a little longer like this" he said "A few more minutes"
"Okay" you whispered, pressing a kiss to his jaw before settling into his arms, falling asleep once again.
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queenendless · 6 months
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😷🤒Sick Day(Adult!SatoSugu x Sick!Fem!Reader)🤒😷
A/N: Yep this is part of that SatoSugu Teacher AU alongside Moving Day and Nights.
Also, announcement. I have smut writing fatigue after just putting out one and I'm down with a cold right now. So that vampire AU gang bang piece is happening next month. I'm so sorry for this yall. Thanks though to everyone who commented on that and helped me decide.
But I will hopefully be posting a JJK Halloween piece to make up for it. A headcannon/ imagined scenario where the JJK cast celebrate Halloween with my ideal fave pairings in couples costumes and such in this what if AU. And yas it gonna be SatoSugu x Fem or GN reader, idk on that part yet.
All credit for JJK and its characters goes to the madman that is Gege.
* Please DON'T plagarize, translate, or repost my FANFIC content. Reblog, like, and follow instead.
I hope you enjoy!
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Your throat feels raw.
Your nose feels stuffy.
And you kept coughing every few minutes.
You should have figured spotting a curse forming from a virus epidemic happening in the hotel across the street would pose a high ass risk of getting infected yourself.
But as a Window, it was your job, as life risking as it was.
The more people inside and around the building got infected, the Grade 4 grew closer to Grade 3. If it kept up, dozens upon hundreds would die.
"Ijichi-san. Disease curse. Transitioning from Grade 4 to Grade 3. Requesting sorcerer help here immediately." You struggled speaking over the phone as you kept coughing, dispatching the address to him, seeing the revolting curse grow in size as its toxic presence spilled, tripping as you tried keeping your distance.
Your head was pounding and you could barely focus as Ijichi-san panicked on his end.
"L/n-san!? L/N-SAN!"
In a moment of ailment, you dropped your phone, causing it to disconnect from the impact.
You were barely able to keep a grip on your phone or walk without faltering as you felt more drained with each passing moment. You blinked a lot as you tried staying alert, stumbling before collapsing against a parked empty vehicle on the street, sliding down to your bum just to rest your aching head against your knees, hugging your legs to your chest.
That curse's smogs began spreading down the streets, into traffic, and nearby occupied establishments.
Believing help wouldn't get here in time through the systematic process, you opted for your wild card, shakily picking up your now cracked screen device.
"Toru. Curse problem. Get here ASAP. Please." Texting the address in your feverish haste, you pressed send before curling in on yourself, welcoming sleep to rest your aching self.
In just under the next few minutes — more like moments — you felt a boom in the cursed energy atmosphere, that curse no longer being sensed. At last, it was done.
The shift from freezing metal to cozy soft fabric stirred you awake a bit. Along with the feel of solid warm arms draped around your shoulders and under your knees. Those big smooth hands squeezing your shoulder and your kneecap had you tugging weakly on the front of that top, pressing your face against your makeshift pillow, struggling to open your eyes as your hearing painted the picture for you in the meantime.
"A majority will spend weeks recuperating. The ones closest to the cause will spend months in the hospital at best. Still though, no casualties. Thank you for the help." High chances it was one of the many medics on site for post cleanup.
"You can thank the young woman here for that. She was the first responder, after all. I'll tend to her recovery myself. Sayonara." You know that voice right away, even when he was muffled, relaxing further in his hold.
"This cold isn't going away anytime soon. Too bad reversed cursed techniques don't make the common cold go away." Your half lidded eyes still had him swooning at how frail and precious you were in his arms.
You murmured, noticing him in his black long sleeved top, matching sweatpants, and face mask with the blindfold. "Blindfolded giant." That's when you realized a face mask was put on you as well, your muffled coughs hitting cloth.
You could already picture him beaming, grinning, as he laughed a bit.
"Correction. Your blindfolded giant, darling~ Now then, let's get you home."
°•○•°•○•°•○•°
Geto typing away on his computer, working on his latest reports.
Gojo straddling his lap, hugging him as he napped against his dear best friend slash hubbie.
The former smiling fondly at the motion before picking up where he left off was their situation before both men's phones began vibrating and ringing.
"Geto-san! L/n-san has reported a disease curse spotting! But she was cut off before I could get further details!"
"She just texted me the location." The sleepiness was wiped away, replaced with firm seriousness, as Gojo started getting off of him to get some shoes on.
"Ijichi-san, do not fret. Satoru will handle the curse." Geto calmly responded over the phone before speaking concerningly to his snowy-haired hubbie. "Toru, bring a face mask in case the affected area reaches where you land post teleport."
Said man smooched his hubbie in kind before slipping on the black face mask to match his current apparel. "Wait up for us, Sugu~"
Seeing you both back, teleporting into your home office, Suguru smooched Satoru the moment he took that face mask right off. Pressing the back of his palm against your forehead to double check for a fever, Suguru's dismay was warranted.
So being there when you awoke from your fever dream tucked in the middle of your guys' giant bed meant Suguru patting your now sweating forehead with a wet rag, you trembling from chills raking your skin followed by feeling warmer the next minute as you coughed into a tissue he handed to you.
"Well dearest, you've got yourself a nasty cold here." Suguru noted with a gray face mask on as well, seated by you on his side of the bed.
"Ah bah." Your raspy spat earned you a cough into your fist before you were offered a filled up water bottle by Satoru who was sitting behind you on his side; blindfold off but face mask back on.
"Welp, I exorcized the curse and brought your cute self back here. Plus I got that report to work on in your precious stead. So you're welcome." He gently ran his fingers through your hair to ease you in whatever way he could.
"Thank you Toru." You slowly sat up and were then handed some cold pills by Suguru to down some water with. "Thank you Sugu."
"Now that we've made our home Ground Zero, you are hereby confined to this room. Drink plenty of fluids. Take your medicine. Get lots of rest. Do you hear me, young lady?" Suguru's smart ass tone made you pout.
"Yes mom." You murmured raspy.
Satoru snorted behind his face mask to which Suguru whacked him in the shoulder across from him with narrowed eyes. "At least Megumi and the twins are living in the dorms now and Tsumiki was able to convince her classmate to stay at her place for a while. Meaning we three have the place to ourselves~"
"Does that mean … I have to sleep by myself?" You whimpered, cracking their resolve. "Neither the Gojo Geto bears, nor the Gojo Geto cats, not even the Gojo Geto giant round plushies can substitute for the real deal." You moped, pointing at said custom made toys lined up on the window seat on the far side of the room.
"Aww, Suguru, how can we deny our lovely sweetheart the company of her valiant handsome knights in the flesh, huh~!?" Satoru dramatized his own cries, muffled though.
Suguru sighed, consigning. "At least one of us should. Who else will be teaching the first years in the meantime?"
"Round robin, then? Last one left standing tends to that noble martyr and gets our dear sweetheart to be their own personal nurse in the end … huh …" That hum and those inquiring eyes could only bode mischief. "I volunteer Suguru to go first!"
"Not gonna happen, Satoru." He immediately denied.
"But to be fed by, bathed by and be doted on by our angel is heaven sent~!" Satoru gushed.
"Which is why you shouldn't be the only one getting that special treatment!" Suguru being jealous at possibly being left out on that.
"Hey!" Your strained shout ends in a coughing fit, curled up in bed, sniffling to which Suguru hands you a big enough tissue to blow your nose in. "I'm dying here."
"Hmm … Yu could fill in." Satoru suggested.
"He is working as a teaching aid part time. And he did say he could help out whenever we needed it." Suguru added.
"Plus Nanamin is on a business trip for the week~ He'll need something to do while waiting for his beloved's return~!" Satoru teased.
"That settles it then." Suguru was smirking behind that mask, you could just tell.
"How lucky you are, darling, to have the strongest duo be your own personal nurses~" Satoru was so smirking his ass off.
"Even though you'll literally get sick of me?" You shyly asked, squeezing your bottle, apprehensive.
"We have strong ass immune systems, Y/n. Comes with over a decade of immense training." Satoru prided on, kissing your flushed cheek.
"If we can risk ourselves in the face of death as sorcerers, this is nothing." Suguru assured, kissing your other flushed cheek. "I'll call Haibara."
"I'll start up a bath for us all. Thank you big ass bathtubs." Satoru clapped to that.
"What do I do?" Even when sick, tilting your head and batting those eyes made the duo smooch your lips at once.
"Just be a good little patient for us, alright, honey?" God that wink of Suguru's left you more hot than usual as he walked off to make that call.
"Besides, being sick with you means being granted a sick leave and getting paid for it! Ah, thank you, my darling sweetheart~!" Satoru did hug you, nuzzle his face in your hair, and left you a wheezing mess.
"Y - You're w - welcome!"
Well, on the bright side, at least you'll all be sick together.
Snuggled in bed, among discarded tissues, wrappers of cough drops, and smooshed in one big embrace of entangled limbs while binging nothing but sitcoms, movies, and anime.
You would eventually get better in a week's time then later tend to your two enamored, affectionate partners and get them back into tip top shape.
But until then, being in their cozy arms, sleeping smack dabbed in between them, that might as well be the key on your quick road to recovery.
The SatoSugu cure, indeed!
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sugarnspice630 · 4 months
Text
Level Up - San
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"The more noise you make, the faster it’ll go, got it?"
•pairing: dom!San x sub!reader
•word count: 1.3k
•tags: mdni, smut, overstimulation, humiliation, vibrator use (f receiving, m controlling), gamer san, Yunho, Jongho, and Wooyoung are featured in this fic with a focus on Jongho, bondage, reader gets ignored by San, slight praise, slight degradation, heavy teasing
Summary: San was tired of you interrupting his important game-play, so he took care of the problem by tying you up and making you cum many times, while the other members could hear.
Note: Reader internal dialogue will be blue text, San speaking but reader not fully paying attention will be red text.
A/N: Oddly enough this was a fantasy me and my ex had with each other, but we're no longer together so I changed it to be with men I care about now! Please let me know what you think and show your support by reblogging, liking, commenting, etc. Happy reading!
─── ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆゚. ・ 。゚☆: .☽ . :☆───
San had enough of you interrupting his video game time with the members. Sitting in his lap, just trying to watch him play, giving him kisses every time he got a kill or did something good. Your constant need for attention was driving him crazy, and he had to do something about it. He excused himself from the party chat and muted his mic, or so he thought, before grabbing you off his lap and throwing you down onto the bed.
“S-San? What the fuck?!”
“If you’re not going to be a good girl and not bother me when I’m in the middle of an important mission, then I’ll have to force you to be one.” He snarls as he aggressively grabs your hands and ties them together before attaching your tied hands to the contraption hanging from above your bed.
“S-San I’m sorry!” You stutter in panic at the sudden shift in mood. You didn’t mean to set him off. You just haven’t seen him for a really long time and wanted to spend time with him, but I guess he needed his alone time. 
“Sorry is not gonna save you this time princess.” He turns away to grab something from the nightstand drawer. You realize what he grabbed, and you swallow the knot in your throat.
“S-Sannie please.” Your voice is barely above a whisper, and you can only watch as he pulls your pajama shorts and underwear away from your waist, turns the vibrator on, places it in your underwear, and snaps the bands back to your skin.
“Shut it.” He grabs your chin and makes you look up at him. You furrow your eyebrows and bite the inside of your lip. The vibrator was pressing right against your bud and already causing a sensation that you knew if it continued, you would cum many times. He lets go of your face and shakes the vibrator’s remote in a taunting way.
“The more noise you make, the faster it’ll go, got it?” You nod your head softly, trying to suppress the moan that is threatening to come out already. San leans back away from you and steps away to continue his game. You watch as he picks his headset back up, places it on his head, leaving one ear uncovered to hear if you make any sound, and continues like nothing happened. 
“Hey, sorry guys, I’m back now.” 
You’re biting the inside of your lip hard, trying not to make noise, and just taking it as it is. You’re trying to focus on San talking to the members to take away from the vibrating monster tucked in your underwear. 
“What do you mean?” He sounds concerned…fuck this vibrator is getting on your nerves. 
“No no, she’s…fine. All taken care of.” Maybe if you move your legs a little, it’ll take the pressure off your clit. You move your legs, but it doesn’t solve the problem and only makes you whimper. Fuck…did he hear that? How loud were you? You look up at where San is sitting, and he slowly turns his head to the side, indicating that he heard you. He picks up the remote, increases the speed, and sits the remote back down. You close your eyes tightly and squeeze your legs together. Fuck fuck fuck, that was a bad idea! The vibrator only presses closer to you. You squirm on the bed and try to pull on your restraints, it’s no use; they are not budging. 
“Wooyoung don’t, I got it. No, I said I got it! I’ll kill the Sova.” San please, for the love of god stop talking and just get over here and help me. You tilt your head down and accidentally let out a moan. You can’t even bring yourself to raise your head because you know what’s coming. You feel the speed of the vibrator increase again. “Guys, I told you she’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” He’s talking about you, they can hear you. Maybe they could come and help?
“Y-Yunho? Jongho? Wooyoung? H-help.” You cry out and let out some moans in between. You hear San huff, and he turns around in his chair to look at you. You look up at him, and his pants are pulled down a little and his whole cock is out and rock hard. You stare in awe and feel your mouth water a bit. I-I want it. You look up at him with begging eyes, but when your eyes meet his, there is a cold, blank stare looking back at you. He brings his finger to his lips, signing for you to stay quiet, and increases the speed of the vibrator yet again. This has to be the highest setting by now! You moan out softly and you can feel the knot in your stomach twisting and turning, like you are close to your release. 
“S-Sannie please!” You watch as he turns back around, but you catch a slight smirk on his face. He’s enjoying this. That sick fuck! You whimper out a couple more times and squirm your legs together, trying to get yourself off as quick as you can so you can end this. “Don’t you guys enjoy the sounds she’s making~? Cute, little girl, can’t behave for me at all~.” He taunts the members he’s playing with. He’s humiliating you..on purpose! Fuck this feeling, it’s too much! I can’t! You hang your mouth open and cry out softly as you cum for the first time that night. You tilt your head back and just let all the feelings come out. 
“There’s one for you boys~. Should we try for more~?” What does he mean more? You feel the vibrator slow down back to its original speed, and it allows you to catch your breath for a few minutes. You look up to where San is sitting with half-lidded eyes. You desperately want him to turn around and see how much you are struggling, and to help you out. Your breathing is still heavy, but you are not moaning like crazy anymore. “What setting do you want Jongho~?” You move your legs again to take the pressure off and to try to get the vibrator off of your clit to prevent you from being overstimulated. “Oh hoh~ good choice man~.” You feel the vibrator pulse, and then stop, pulse, and then stop. Fuck! N-no!
“M-make it stop. Please~!” The vibrator pulsing and then not was exactly the sensation you needed to get you close to another orgasm. “I think she likes that one Jongho~.” You were already sensitive from the first orgasm, and if this motion continued, you were certain you would cum again sooner rather than later. Letting out a few pathetic whimpers, you close your eyes, and you can feel the corners of your eyes getting wet. “I-I can’t~!” “You hear her, Jongho? You’re making her feel this way.” You sob out from the overstimulation and moan out loudly. “San, please help me!” 
“I think the boys wanna hear you more princess~. I’m not doing anything to help you.” Moaning out at his words, you feel a knot forming in your stomach again. Every noise that comes out of you is a whimper or a moan, until eventually you feel the knot come undone and cum over the vibrator again. The shrill scream-like moan you let out would definitely be concerning if the other members heard it without context.
“My my~ that was a good one~,” San paused his words to turn around and look at you, tilting his head softly to the side and looking at you with half-lidded eyes. "Boys, I wish you could see her right now~. So fucked out and beautiful. I know, I know you all wish to see, but she’s mine, and I don’t feel like sharing.”
Looking up at San, you beg him to stop this torture, quietly saying ‘please’ over and over again. He gets up and gently caresses your face, lifting your chin to make you look at him. He smirks at you softly and asks a question, but more so to the members, cause you know he wasn’t giving you the choice tonight.
“Let’s go for one more, shall we~?”
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manicpixiefelix · 3 months
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all this, and love too (will ruin us)
{ One-Shot for head, heart, hand. }
Summary: The night of Oliver's party and both yours and Felix's moods are ruined upon finding out Oliver had been lying to you both for your entire friendship. While sticking with Felix all night to make sure he doesn't maim Oliver, Felix realises he doesn't like sharing you anymore. You're more than okay with this, but Oliver doesn't seem to be okay with sharing Felix, even if he has no say anymore. Canon tries to happen, but you get there first, so you kill the problem at it's source.
Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.
Warnings: MAZE SCENE; death, murder, violence, nongraphic smut, dominant felix, bathroom blowjob, oliver's birthday party situation, oliver being incredibly manipulative, reader being incredibly manipulative back at him, heavy drinking and drug use, You VIOLENTLY Murder Oliver Quick In The Maze.
A/N: 6074 words. oh god these oneshots are only getting longer and longer. whoops. but also PLEASE heed the warnings. this is the Reader Kills Oliver oneshot (first of two) that i was talking about. not sure how i feel about it. its very unedited.
TAGLIST IN COMMENTS!! // TAGLIST ALWAYS OPEN ! (just message or comment to be added)
----
On the drive back from his parents' house, Oliver sits in the back. Like a scolded child he keeps his gaze low and voice even lower. None of you speak the entire drive back; you try and focus on the wind in your hair and the hum of the car and not how your stomach is turning. In your mind you see the connections as they light up, small things you'd missed, things that are starting to make a lot more sense.
You wonder what other lies you could have gotten ahead of if Oliver hadn't been so nervous about you going through his file at Oxford.
Every single thing about him was designed specifically to be appealing, to you, of course, but more importantly to Felix. It was meant to be you who knew it all, could see the full board and all the pieces the people around you moved; it was meant to be you who could plan well enough and see far enough out to keep Felix out of situations exactly like this.
Felix is curt and swift the moment he's out of the car, trying to escape Oliver who rushes after him, his desperation echoing through the halls. You're several steps behind Oliver, silent, watching the exchange, watching Oliver cling to an ever-dwindling hope for even friendship, as Felix calls out the weirdness of his ongoing lies, tearing that hope asunder.
"I just wanted to be your friend," is all Oliver can say when pressed about his lies. It's genuine, it breaks your heart, but it doesn't make it better. For a moment, you see conflict as it flashes across Felix's face, but he clearly can't do this right now, needing at least the night, but promising not to tell his family.
As you go to leave, go to follow him, Oliver catches your sleeve, holds it too tight for just a moment -
"I thought you knew," his voice wobbles, but there's something like alarm bells in the back of your mind. Everything about Oliver is purposeful, even now. But you know him, you know how he likes to play.
"No you didn't," you look at his fingers still coiled in your sweater, watch him drop them, "you knew I trusted you." You wouldn't let him shift this blame; the faint dismay you can see in his eyes behind the hurt gives him away. He knew Felix had more emotions than sense, but somewhere along the way he seemed to have forgotten that you were so much more than another adoring fan in Felix's shadow.
"'m sorry," stumbles from his mouth almost like a reaction to the look in your eyes, "for hurting Felix with all this, I- I never wanted that," he shakes his head, dropping his gaze, "or hurt you," tacked on as an afterthought. Both of you know where he was placing the importance of that apology. Everything Oliver Quick does is with purpose.
"I know you are, Oliver," you tell him, standing tall and unflinching as you left him alone.
"If you leave my side tonight I'm going to maim him," is how Felix greets you when you enter your room. Sitting on his bed, you see a little, ornate box open in front of him, and you recognise it as one of the few stashes he had around the estate for desperate times. This one, if you recall correctly, was shoved well beneath Henry the Eighth's bed, and had a decent amount of coke that you'd left here after last Christmas.
"Can't fucking believe- I can't fucking believe him!" He rants, cutting up lines of coke on the little hand mirror Venetia had donated to this particular stash box. Mind working a million miles a minute, you're quiet, letting him rant. Running on autopilot, you begin to strip down to your underwear, pulling out your costume for the night, frowning at it in the afternoon light.
"How complicated is your costume?" Felix asks, finally looking up, gazing over at you and the sheer, shimmering thing in your hands. Without a word, but with a vague shrug, you turn it to him.
The base was like something you'd see at a rave, little more than green underwear, with straps, and beading, and jewels, and loops of green and purple pearls by your hips that would bounce while you walked. The overcoat, though it was far to generous to call it that, was pure gossamer, sheer and green, with hand-stitched silk leaves making up the hem that fell perfectly to your ankles, and intricate, hand embroidery of vines that extended across both shoulders, and both arms, ending with little, purple flowers embroidered by your wrists.
There's large, brown boots with a bit of a hell and some large buckles, and a belt that's half a skirt that hit just below your knee to give you some coverage, at least on your left, sewn to look like it was covered in leaves. Plus a leather thigh harness and flask that Farleigh had gotten you made for your last birthday.
Leaning back, Felix reaches out to feel the gossamer between his fingers, frowning for a beat.
"Don't be precious about it."
For a moment, you frown in confusion. Despite your entire outfit being exquisitely and perfectly tailored, you knew you could afford to not be precious about pretty much anything, even this. But that's never been an outright request he's made.
"I'm not?"
Quiet follows, the soft rustle of your garments as you begin to get dressed, and Felix quickly snorting a line of coke.
"I'm going to lose my fucking mind tonight," he mumbles. Even though you're half dressed, you still lean over his shoulder automatically as he lifts the mirror and the rolled bill up to you like an offering, holding the mirror steady for you.
"I need a drink," you groaned, to which Felix immediately agreed.
"God, why don't we stash anything in here?" He lamented, laying back and watching you head to the door once more while you're trying to do up your belt to hold up your partial leaf skirt, still without your overcoat.
"Because that's tacky and we're not alcoholics." Even with your explanation, Felix pouted. Still, it's a quick trip to the Blue Room and the bottle of rum you're glad Venetia hadn't found in the broken piano.
The night gets blurrier, gets better, with half a bottle of liquor in your veins before the sun even sets. As you're making yourself dreamy and ethereal with glitter and gems and makeup in the mirror, Felix drapes himself over your shoulders, pouting again. The drinks and drugs are already hitting you both and you can hear the revelry beginning outside.
"It's not going to last," he says pointedly, and you're confused until you see him trying to poke at the iridescent eyeliner that wasn't quite dry. Rolling your eyes, you smack his hand away. So he makes his point again, adding, "I'm going to get glitter all over me."
You smirked at him in the mirror, tipping your head against his.
"Don't be precious about it."
A spirit amongst the fairies, you greet your college friends with open arms and boundless enthusiasm, always keeping Felix close at hand. He was more subdued than you, more subdued than many of your friends were used to. Whenever you looked at him, it seemed like his gaze was searching, his expression drawn unless someone had caught his attention, and he wore a smile that seemed to convince them.
"Need a drink," his hand around your wrist and no time to protest, Felix dictated your night and it's pace. Frustration and apprehension keep him tense, even as he tries to loosen up; you feel every time that tension spikes, even if you don't know it's cause. His nails dig into you, wherever he's holding you, shoulder, thigh, arm -
In the bathroom, doing lines with India and some guys who claim to be friends of friends of the Cattons, you're leaning against the sink until you Felix nudge your knee with his own. Looking to the door, you see Oliver in white, taking up it's space. Felix only has to gently tap your thigh for you to shift, sitting in his lap.
"You can't ignore me forever," Oliver tells him, watching you both, watching the way Felix wraps an arm around your middle to hold you close and secure on him.
"I can try," Felix practically sings, his nails sinking into your stomach. With his free hand, he offers you his cigarette, raising it to your lips. You drop your gaze as you inhale, trying to only focus on keeping Felix secure in this moment.
"Felix we need to talk," Oliver insists, "Felix, come on man -"
"Look, man, I tried to be nice -" Felix started, and though you tried to gently warn him, pressing against him with Fi on your lips like you hope he won't say something he'll regret, he just holds you tighter and continues on, "but can you fuck off and bother somebody else?"
India half snorts with laughter in the middle of a line of coke, the others all judging Oliver the longer he lingers in the doorway, but Felix drops his gaze. His lips are on your shoulder to keep from saying anything else.
One of guys whose names you don't know asks who Oliver even was, but Felix can't answer; tension again, maybe anxiety or frustration, but his mouth moves from the gossamer and embroidery on your shoulder to your bare skin above the neckline, where your collar meets your throat. His teeth sting. His nails still sting. He swears under his breath before he lets go.
"Sorry," he mumbles finally, sighing and resting his forehead on your shoulder. You tell him it's okay, voice fond, but when you lean over to do another line of coke, you meet India's reproachful gaze. It takes you a long few seconds to connect the dots, to realise what was going on in her head. You're so fucking over everything tonight.
"You know Farleigh was lying to you about us, right?" You say casually, taking your line and sitting back up. Her eyebrows rise in surprise, "I know you think we're all gross and cousin-incest-y -" you hear Felix's faint laughter behind you, and feel him nudge you with his thigh, silently asking you to get up. Both of you do, and Felix manages his first proper smile of the night, even if it is smug.
"But we're not related," he tells her, "thank fucking god," and smacks your ass as the two of you exit, as if to just prove a point.
You're on your knees in a different bathroom when you hear everyone else start to sing happy birthday, but Felix's voice is a low growl of don't you dare stop, and his hands in your hair. Nothing else matters to you in this state of mind, blurry, pliant, desperate to follow his every command. It's as if you've forgotten what exists outside of Felix's hands on you.
The night becomes lights that are too bright, and music too loud, and laughter and glitter and the warmth of the people dancing around you. After a few hours you feel yourself starting to come down from your high, starting to come back to yourself, still on the dance floor. Venetia's dancing with a blonde boy, looking so pretty, like she's having a genuinely fun night, but when you point it out, Felix takes your hand.
"Don't look at Ven," there's that hunger in his eyes, that firm tone he'd been using all night, "don't touch Ven, don't -" he cuts himself off, wets his lips. Looking around for a moment, he spots something in the crowd that makes him scowl. Just a moment, as you follow his gaze, you see Oliver. The moment your eyes lock with his, however, Felix has his lips on your jaw.
"Fucking mine."
There's half a second where you and Oliver are still locked in this moment, you watch the way his expression starts to shift, jaw tensing, something like anger flickering in his eyes. But you can't bring yourself to give a shit about Oliver as Felix has his arms around you, kissing down your throat with a feverish, almost lewd intensity in the middle of the dancefloor.
"Prove it," and you let him drag you from the house, heading towards the place that had always felt a little special for you both, almost a little magical.
"I'm being selfish," Felix announced as you finally hit the tree line just before the maze, "I don't fucking care anymore, I'm being selfish, about you -!" He turns to look at you, only to see you gazing up at him with starry-eyes, hanging on his every word. He breaks into a sheepish grin momentarily, shaking his head as his voice drops for a moment, "oh, you're fucking loving this, aren't you?"
"I want you so bad right now it's actually embarrassing," you agreed with a wide grin, unable to contain your laughter, despite how genuine the feeling was.
"I'm being selfish," he said once more, muttering it this time, though as you entered the maze and the moonlight peaked down upon you, you could see the blush still upon his cheeks, "I don't want anyone else to fucking touch you again, you hear me?" This time, when he looks at you, he thinks he can see hearts in your eyes; your overwhelming love and acceptance, even for this -especially for this- is making it very hard to keep the stern act up, except -
"Anything you say," you tell him, breathless as you approach the centre of the maze, voice edging on desperate, "anything at all." And you see it hits him just where it had needed to, to hear you wanting and wanton and offering yourself to him -
The gossamer overcoat is ruined, scratched all up the back where you're pinned against the statue, half sitting on the base with your legs around Felix's, your fancy green undergarments around one ankle. His nails scratch down the bare skin of your back, fucking into you with furious intent to match.
"You've always been mine," he groans into your ear.
"Felix -" you whimpered. Immediately he was grinning, lips inches from yours, gazing at you through his lashes.
"How's that proving anything?" He teases, low and knowing, and as his hips snap up to meet yours, you take the hint, his name getting louder and louder on your lips as you almost chant it, till his hand is between you both, helping get you off, and you're close and all but screaming his name and -
"Felix." Not from you. Oliver.
"Oh Jesus Christ!" Felix immediately looks murderous, and not in a fun, sexy way. Oliver's demanding to talk to him while you struggle to pull your underwear back on.
"Could hear you out there," Oliver mumbles, half stumbling over his words, unable to look at you, focused on the dirt by your feet instead.
"Kind of the point, Ollie," you snapped, frustrated and now unsatisfied, but dressed once more.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, Oliver?" Felix demanded. Oliver advances on him, presses into his space with desperate eyes and a bottle clutched to his chest. He doesn't look at you, he can't fucking look at you, you don't matter. It's Felix and his emotions who lead every situation the two of you share; it's Felix he has to win back over.
But he should have expected you not to leave, should have expected that when Felix pushed him away, shouted for him to get the fuck away, that you would try and step in.
"He's already got you on a leash, can I just have this one fucking moment?!" He snaps at you; he doesn't hit you but you recoil like he has, and Felix's gaze grows cold. Oliver seems to sense this before he even turns back, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean that, I just- they already have everything -"
"Back off." Felix warns sharply, but Oliver can't help himself, won't listen.
"I just gave you what you wanted!" Oliver throws himself at Felix, pins him to the statue, their bodies flush and Oliver rambling, "like everyone else does! Everyone puts on a show for Felix..." his voice drops, childish and weak and wanting, and you watch him press himself closer as he turns gentle, "so I'm... I'm sorry if my performance wasn't good enough..."
"I think..." some part of it was working on Felix, his voice soft and placating, "I think you need to see somebody," or maybe he knows by now exactly how Oliver wants him to act; his eyes never leave Oliver's face, even when he doesn't let him go, "you need help okay, seriously -"
"No, no, I don't," Oliver's voice is rising again, "I just need you to understand how much I fucking love you," a tremble in his voice, sounding so raw, so needy, "you're the only friend I ever had, Felix." The manipulation is so blatant it almost hurts; you don't matter to him in this moment, all that matters is saying exactly whatever Felix needs to believe.
"I mean, doesn't this just prove how much of a good friend I actually am? How well I actually know you?" That hope, that dangerous, heartbreaking note of hope that's going to make your skin crawl. But you're not leaving without Felix, and he's not leaving this moment it seemed, "I'm still the same person, yeah? I'm still the same person," he insisted.
A long few moments pass, Felix's gaze searching Oliver's face for something beyond you. But then, finally, his gaze slips to you. All you can do is shake your head.
"Don't-" Oliver murmurs faintly, tipping his head to try and block you from Felix's line of sight, but Felix turns his attention back, expression helpless.
"I don't know what you are," he breathes, "but I do know you; you make my fucking blood run cold."
The fight drains out of Oliver, as does every last drop of hope. He lets Felix push his hands away, makes himself give Felix space to breathe. After a beat, he looks back at you, unsteady on his feet, pain in his eyes, but then he lurches, quickly shoves his half-finished bottle into Felix's hands, and rushes away to be sick.
Oliver is doubled over, retching, when you get to Felix. Before he can raise Oliver's bottle to his lips, you tuck yourself under his arm and wrap him up in a hug. He's trembling, but you feel the bottle against your back. Felix tucks his face into the crook of your neck, tears unspilled, clinging to his eyelashes.
"Better?" You ask forlornly once Ollie had gone quiet.
"Fuck off," he spits, finally coming back around. You watch him over Felix's shoulder, and the glare he levels at you as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand is almost surprising. Still, you try and show the same compassion you knew Felix would in this moment.
"Wash the taste out of your mouth," you try and tell Ollie gently, moving carefully out of Felix's arms, wrapping your fingers around the neck of the bottle he'd brought with him, "I think you should go to bed after." Oliver doesn't even reach for the bottle, but he does stop, looking between it, and then between you and Felix.
"Please," Felix sighs, head bent and bottle clasped tightly in his hand, "I need this."
"We can get another," you tell him quietly, calmly. Felix's gaze flicks to yours, imploring for just a moment, but dropping again when you don't relent. Felix sighs, once more, but finally relents, handing you over the bottle. Which Oliver has kept his focus on, brow now furrowing.
"I gave you everything else of mine, my drink's not even good enough for you anymore, like the rest of me?" He sneers, reaching unsteadily for the bottle in your hands, though his eyes and their focus betray him. Something lights up in the back of your mind, like one of those memories that made far more sense once Oliver's lie had been revealed. Alarm bells once again.
Felix stumbles to a halt -
"Fucking fine -" but as he tries to reach for the bottle again you step out of his range, beginning to see red as you got closer to Oliver, prickling with suspicion, "what is your problem, Y/N," Felix sounds so fucking tired, but all you can see is the deer of a boy before you growing wide eyed as he looks into yours.
"It's Oliver's," trying with all your might to not jump to conclusions, you hold the bottle out, desperately hoping that you'd connected the wrong dots, that Oliver was just drunk and as helpless as he appeared, that he couldn't be this malicious or vindictive-
"You want me to be sick again?" He tries to stand up to you, bottle pressed to his chest and refusing to step back even as you continue to crowd his space, "fuck off." He's seeming more sober, more alert, more with himself with each minute that passes. The distant noise of the party rings in your ears and all you can think about is the cold bottle between you and how Felix had almost -
"Leave him alone," Felix called out, footsteps in the grass sounding as though he was making his way back to the maze, "he's not worth it."
"He's pathetic," you spit, nose to nose with Oliver now, face heating up as hot, angry tears begin to close your vision. Still, you can see in Oliver's eyes that he's finding fewer and fewer ways to escape the situation.
"I don't care what either of youse think of me anymore," Oliver's lip curls as it quivers, trying to play distraught and callous all at once, "go fuck each other to feel like you're not just a fucking waste of space, vapid cunts -" he can see he's touched a nerve by the way your expression lights up with malevolent fury.
"Fi," there's a shake in your voice that you can't even fight, "please leave."
"Can you please come with me," Felix sounds like he's on the verge of tears, and when you turn, he's reaching for you, his hand shaking, "please can we go?" He begs.
An angel. Your best friend. Your everything. Your Felix.
Seeing him like this, knowing beyond a shadow of a doubt that Oliver's greed and jealousy would rather see Felix hurt than not in love with him, you couldn't let him get away with it. Finally you start to cry, even if you hadn't meant to, and the sight of it has Felix begging for you to leave with him. Oliver starts pushing, demanding that you both fuck off.
"Give me a minute, My Felix," you tell him, trying to smile, trying to reassure him, "I'll catch up."
"I'm not leaving without you."
"I don't want you to see this," you turn back to Oliver with newfound resolution. He's stepped back, leaning himself against the statue, doubled over, head in his hands.
"See what?" Felix asks dubiously, and Oliver looks up, sees the way you're approaching him, and scrambles to straighten his posture.
"Ollie's going to have a little drink," you offer him the bottle again.
"Tryna make me sick again?" He snarls.
"Then use it to wash your mouth out, then swallow," you order coldly, "and repeat until the bottle's empty."
"Why should I?"
"Because it's just as perfectly fine as when you handed it to Felix," you hissed, voice low enough that Felix himself couldn't properly hear. Oliver narrowed his eyes, matching your tone.
"If I don't?"
"What I will do to you, Oliver Quick, will be much worse than whatever you've put in that bottle, so you'll drink it all up," you leaned in, whispering close and menacing, "and if you do throw it up, I will have you on your belly, like the worm you are, sucking your own sick off of the fucking ground."
"What the fuck is going on?" Felix demanded, and you turned, taking a deep breath and hopefully giving a much more convincing, determined smile.
"He made you cry."
Felix's expression immediately changed. All soft and fragile but understanding, he just asks that you don't be long. You promise not to be. Both you and Oliver watching him go.
Once in the clear, you turn back to your captive audience, keeping your voice low.
"I'm not going to make you drink it," you admit, and though Oliver's confused and on edge, he seems to relax, just a little.
"The fuck do you want from me then?"
"I just need to hear you say it," you step back from him, give him space, even step around to place the bottle at the foot of the statue and lean your forehead against the cool stone.
"Say what -?"
"I'm not fucking stupid, Ollie," you groaned, looking at him out of the corner of your eyes, "you think I could hurt you? I ruin lives behind the scenes, I couldn't -" you flail your hands awkwardly, rocking back on your heels, turning to him properly once more. It appears to work, however, as Oliver is now only regarding you warily, instead of seeming actively cautious. "I was... hurt," you admitted, "I know why you said it, but I was hurt to hear you say Felix was your only friend."
"That's not -" he tried, defences lowering further as he attempted to defend himself.
"No, I get it; I've done terrible things because I love Fi, I couldn't imagine," you cast a pitying, apologetic look to Oliver, "him not loving me back."
And it works. He cracks, little by little. The tears begin to form, the lip starts to tremble.
"It's not fucking fair," it already sounds like there's a lump in his throat, "why do you deserve his love?" He scowls, "why can't I? I can be like you, I can be good -" he babbles, sniffling harshly amongst his defiantly sharp tone, "I know I could be," you gently wrap an arm around him and he fists a hand to tightly in your overcoat that it tears, "I was everything he wanted me to be -"
"I know, Ollie, I know," you carefully remove his antlers, holding them in one hand as you coax him in close, running a comforting hand through his hair.
"I wanted him to love me, I wanted- I never wanted him hurt, but wanted him dead so it wasn't my fault if he didn't love me; he couldn't love anyone -" he breaks down into furious tears, "I hate him, I hate him, I hate him. I hate you, I hate that he loves you without you even trying -" there's no apology in his distress, even as he lets you hold him close, and you, for a few more moments, whisper reassuring nonsense. "I never wanted to hurt him," he mumbled softly, "but I wanted to kill him. I could never hurt him," there's anger and guilt in his eyes as he looks up at you, tear soaked and helpless, "but I wanted to hurt you." What you give him in return is pity, is sweetness and apology, but your blood is burning through your veins.
"You would have regretted it."
"I know..."
"Are you lying?"
"I think I am."
You have what you need, the confession, the intention; validation for your motivation. Hook, line and sinker.
"Hey, Ollie, Ollie, darling look at me, I know, okay, I know-" you try, taking his face in your free hand.
"No you fucking don't!" Oliver insists, but you keep insisting, "don't fucking take that tone, I just told you I was trying to kill Felix to hurt you -!" He thrashes, but your gentleness is unrelenting in this moment. You will give Oliver Quick what he deserves.
"Ollie, look at me, okay? Look me in the eyes, please -" you begged, and finally he did, despair and anger all there amongst the tears, "keep looking me in the eyes," you tell him gently, and firmly, and he does, too curious for his own good and wanting to see where this was going -
"Everything," you give him the faintest, reassuring smile, one hand on his face, shaking, messily wiping tears from his cheeks with your thumb as he keeps your gaze, "is going to be -"
- and you ram one of his antlers into his soft, exposed belly with all your strength. Surprise and pain hit him all at once and suddenly he's scrambling, trying to get your hands off of the headpiece. But he's winded, and suddenly in overwhelming pain.
"- fine," you breathe out, shaking with adrenaline. You have him pinned against the statue, just like he'd had Felix only minutes ago.
"Eyes, Oliver," you ordered coldly, while making sure to keep smiling, even as fresh traitorous tears were gathering and already spilling down your cheeks. Hand in his hair coming to grip him tightly, keeping his gaze level with yours, "what did I say? I want you to look me in the eyes -" and you rip the antlers out before plunging them back into his gut. Lips twisting into an animalistic snarl involuntarily, Oliver splutters and fights and squirms but everything is becoming slippery, and warm, and slick with his blood. The antlers, your hands, and his; hard to get a grip like the firm one you had on your weapon of choice.
"Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-" he chokes out helplessly, bloody hands moving up, trying to grip your arms, your shoulders, your face, "how -fuck- why -?"
"Whatever you had in that bottle is too good for you; you tried to kill Felix, you said so yourself."
As his strength begins to fail, the way he holds your face turns tender, almost gentle, before his hands fall back to rest on yours, both gripping the bloody antler. Oliver's weight rests on the statue, watching you with despair and helpless, pained moans. Cheeks wet with tears, you can't even fathom how you're doing this, or who you will be once it's done.
"You are not the minotaur of this maze," you grit your teeth, leaning your weight on the headdress, driving it into his guts until the bloody antler snapped clean off of the headdress, you still can't bring yourself to stop. It doesn't feel like enough. He tried to kill Felix. So you took the other antler in hand, unable to stop yourself, shaking with rage and tears, "you are the dear in my fucking headlights; you tried to hurt Felix, you tried to kill Felix! You are nothing, nothing, nothing," you punctuate each nothing with another bloody, unnecessary jab until you can't keep going. The second antler collapses to the ground, and you stumble back, hands shaking.
"Didn't want to hurt him," Oliver insists weakly.
"You were someone we loved," you can see the first antler still jutting out of him, stemming the blood flow but undoubtedly causing excruciating pain. But you spare him no sympathy, only a look of absolute loathing, finally taking in what you've done, the blood your fury had shed. "Someone I loved!" Burst from you, raw brutal betrayal scraping its way from your throat, face hot and wet with tears, falling to your knees, looking up at him with an exhausted fury, "you will never hurt him again. I will never give you that chance."
But Oliver's quickly unfocusing gaze slips from you, rising to a point beyond you, out into the maze. A weak, faint, but somehow still triumphant smile works it's way across his lips.
"Him?"
Like in a horror movie, you cast your gaze over your shoulder. You hear when Oliver finally gives out, stop holding himself up on the statue and fall to the ground, but all you can see is Felix at the edge of the maze.
And that look in his eyes.
Oh god, what have you done?
"Felix," tears start welling in your eyes again, and finally he looks away from Oliver's body, his own antler protruding from him, slowly bleeding out, to you. From here, he can't see the blood on your hands, the blood that's all over you, but he can see it all over Oliver, "Fi, please, you need to -" but he's stepping towards you, almost automatically; he looks ill. You have to look away, can't bear for him to see what your rage has brought about.
"I'm not," his words are robotic, still a bit slurred, and he keeps looking at Oliver, "going without you. 'said that." But he stops behind you. Eyes closed, you wait, you can't bear to even look at him. Then, slowly, he moves. When you breathe, it makes you shake, but you slowly open your eyes.
Felix approaches Oliver. You watch the faint, far away smile wears as he sees Felix up close once more.
"Fe-lix," he sighs faintly, reaching out with weak, shaking, bloody hands, feather light finger tips leaving red streaks along Felix's cheeks, his jaw, his lips. Felix's head dips in close, into Oliver's aching touch, his forehead resting against Oliver's in this moment.
"You were going to fucking kill me, Ollie?" Felix whispered through clenched teeth, on the edge of tears.
"'m sorry," Ollie mumbled weakly, shock and blood loss catching up with him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, "didn't want to hurt you."
"You wanted to kill me -"
"It wouldn't hurt."
"It would have hurt them!" Felix grabbed him by the collar with one hand, wrenching the dying boy up enough to see him pointing at you, still kneeling on the ground, second bloody antler laying in front of you. All Oliver could do was make a pained whimper, and Felix dropped him back to the ground, "and you said it yourself-" his voice is venomous, but your breath catches as you realise just how much he must have heard to know that, "and even having a thought like that," he snarls, hatred burning in his eyes, "means you don't fucking know me at all."
Felix is by your side in the very next moment, pulling you into his lap as he leaned back against the base of the sculpture. You're sobbing into your bloody hands, nothing else to do or say. Even as he's shaking, as he's crying too, Felix doesn't let you go, doesn't let you feel anything but secure with him.
"You saw it all, didn't you?" You whispered finally, and feel him nod.
"I said I wouldn't leave without you."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry -" and while he tells you that you don't have to be, the words, the fears, the desperate justifications and rationalisations pour out of you, "he said he was trying to kill you, Fi, and I couldn't- I should have walked away, just gotten him kicked out or taken away or- or- but I couldn't," you gasped, "I couldn't let him ever have that kind of chance again, I couldn't risk that, my mind wouldn't let me -"
"I know, I love you," Felix murmurs weakly, his forehead against your shoulder once more, "dad and Duncan will know what to do, they'll take care of it tomorrow," he sounds so young in this moment, so tired and fragile. You nod quietly, leaning into him. When his hands find yours, threading your fingers together and holding on tightly, Oliver's blood is still sticky on your skin. Neither of you seems to care.
"How did you know something was so wrong?" Felix finally asked, the air cooler and quieter now. You have no idea how much time has passed, but it sounds as though the party was winding down. Oliver's party.
"He wasn't that drunk," you said after a long moment of deliberation, "could see it in his eyes," taking a deep breath, you cast your gaze to the guest of honour, completely still, chest no longer shifting with shallow, frantic breathes, "if he wasn't drunk, why was he sick?" Sighing, you leaned into Felix. You felt so hollow; "everything Oliver Quick did, he did with purpose."
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andivmg · 2 months
Note
speak up andi, I beg of you, you have been mistreated the most here, I know it took shubble a lot of courage but she has helped so many people
i want to start this off by saying it is not a competition and i do not want to compare my experience to anybody else’s. shubble is so fucking strong and i admire her and everyone else who has spoken up about experiencing abuse endlessly.
DISCLAIMER 1
this is way longer than i intended it to be. i did not plan to go into as much depth as i did but the words just kinda kept coming and i kept thinking that if someone else is in a similar situation to the one i was in, it would be good to point out even some of the smaller details so that they can see that these behaviors are not something to be overlooked and could be a symptom of a bigger issue… idk. i apologize for how lengthy and wordy this is but i hope it all makes sense somehow
DISCLAIMER 2
a lot of you know who one of my exes is and i am asking you to please not make this about him. i am simply sharing my experience with some of my past relationships in hopes that they help someone else. i beg of you, do not go on twitter making threads speculating on whatever because it’s just going to cause me a bunch of problems and i don’t want this to be brought to his attention. if you share my story, please do not do it with the intent of starting drama. if you share my story, focus on the behaviors i am talking about instead of trying to figure out if it’s about him.
DISCLAIMER 3
this goes without saying but i’ll put it here anyway: i will be talking about toxic relationships, mention of self harm, mention of sex, implied violence. if any of these topics are triggering to you please scroll away, protect yourself.
I have been in a lot of relationships, but there are 4 that i would truly identify as the ones who had the biggest impact on me. Two of those i would consider emotional mistreatment. I don’t want to say i was abused for reasons that i will be discussing with my therapist this week, but i can certainly say i was mistreated. For the sake of privacy, i will be referring to these two dudes as 1 and 6.
I think the biggest difference between 1 and 6 is that 6 was obsessed with me to the point where i felt like i was being suffocated, whereas i’m not sure if 1 ever cared about me in the first place.
6 and i started out pretty normally. we had a bunch of friends in common and we were around the same people. so eventually, we became friends too. we would text and call all the time until feelings developed into a relationship. in the beginning he was really sweet and caring, saying all the right things that got me falling head over heels. now, something important to note is that i am someone who has always had a lot of guy friends. when i was little and in school, my mom made friends with a bunch of other moms and those moms were boy moms, so i grew up surrounded by boys. i bring this up because 6 didn’t like my guy friends. actually, i think he just didn’t like the fact that i had guy friends at all. so, whenever i would hang out with my friends, it was a problem. so this resulted in me never being able to go out or hang out with my friends unless he was there. then it got worse. before we started dating he had decided to cut back on drinking and to stop smoking. so because of this, i decided that i wouldn’t drink or smoke around him in solidarity. this was not enough for him. i had to stop drinking and smoking altogether. so once, when i was hanging out with my girl friends we decided to stay in and get wine drunk. we posted about it on our private stories on snap and once he saw, 6 called me arguing and yelling at me because i was drinking and posting about it on my story for “attention”. after this incident, i was no longer allowed to hang out with my friends because they were a “bad influence”. he also didn’t like the clothes i wore. sorry, let me reiterate: he didn’t like my clothes when he wasn’t around. it was perfectly fine for me to wear a short dress… if i was with him. i was not allowed to wear “revealing” clothing if he wasn’t around. mind you, none of the clothes i wore were revealing, it’s not my fault i’m hot yk? he took over my life. who i talked to, what i did, what i wore, where i would go, it was all up to him. my life no longer belonged to me. and at the time, i was okay with that. i didn’t realize that he had so much control over everything. i was young and naïve and he convinced me that he knew what was best for me. that he had lived more than i had and experienced more than i had and that he knew better. he was so good at making everything my fault and making him the hero or victim depending on the situation. i got catcalled on the street? “because you were wearing that fucking dress again, andrea you know how that looks. of course you got catcalled. this is why you can’t wear things like that when i’m not around to protect you”. I decided to have a fun night in with my friends and get drunk? “i just don’t understand why you would be posting yourself on your private story like that. you’re drunk and vulnerable. why do you want other people, other guys, to see you like that? and you know i’ve cut back on drinking so how do you think it makes me feel to see that? don’t you love me enough to do this for me?” the worst part is i believed him. because, in the beginning, he helped me so much and i looked up to him so much, surely he had my best interests at heart, right? this relationship went on for way longer than it should have. you may be asking yourself, how did you leave? if you were so in love with him and entranced by him to the point where he consumed you, why did you leave? he raised his hand. that’s what got me to finally leave. a year after we broke up, i found out that he was drinking, smoking, and doing all kinds of shit he told me he wasn’t throughout our entire relationship. he was awful, and i’m really proud of myself for being strong enough to leave when i did. i’m also really grateful for my friends, who stuck out that whole train wreck with me. who i lashed out against in order to protect him and defend him. they stuck by me through it all and i don’t know where i would be without them so shoutout to them lmfao.
1 was a bit more complicated. it started out in a similar way. we had the same friends, hung out around the same people, so it was only a matter of time until we became friends too. we would call and text every day until feelings were developed. at least i developed feelings, i’m still not sure he did. i told him this and i don’t remember how the conversation went but basically we had decided that we were talking as more than friends now. enough time went by where i was ready for it to become a relationship and i communicated that to him. looking back, i think he felt pressured into the relationship by me and by our friends. anyway we started dating and everything was fine. we would hang out and talk all the time but i felt like he was bored or disinterested by me, so i would constantly beg for his attention. i became this needy clingy version of myself that i hated. it felt like when we would hang out, he was always distracted by something else. i basically felt invisible to him. that is, when i wasn’t hanging out with my guy friends. similarly to 6, 1 did not like my guy friends or the fact that i had guy friends in the first place. i had a guy best friend at the time who is one of the most amazing people i have ever met. let’s call him S. S and 1 were acquainted with each other, hung out in the same circles etc. but 1 still didn’t like him. sometimes, whenever 1 was busy doing whatever he did when he wasn’t with me, i would hang out with S, we would watch shows together and just talk. Some days, it felt like i talked to S more than my own boyfriend. this did not sit well with 1. he would ask “why the fuck are you always hanging out with him?” to which i would reply “maybe if you hung out with me more, i wouldn’t have so much free time to spend with him” (toxic ik but what can i say? i was feeling neglected). so you can see what problems this caused. eventually i cut S off. I stopped talking to him completely and i haven’t spoken to him since. Back to 1. even after cutting off my best friend, nothing really changed. He didn’t spend much time with me and whenever we would, i felt like he couldn’t wait to go off and do something else. this got exhausting. at that point i was begging him to love me, to pay attention to me, to care about me. this led to us breaking up. he broke up with me over text. it read, and i quote, “i think we aren’t meant for each other. i think you deserve someone that will treat you better than i do. I don’t think i’m in love with you and i tried to force myself to love you because i thought that’s what i wanted but i really don’t think it is. we started this relationship when i was just tired of being alone and i really just don’t think it is right anymore. i don’t think i am attracted to you. I am sorry, i really didn’t know how to end this and this probably isn’t the best way to do it but it’s time”. The relationship went on for another six months after this. granted, i should have had more self respect and never gotten back together with him but it is what it is. so after he told me that he didn’t love me and that he wasn’t attracted to me, we stayed “friends”. which basically meant that we did everything that a relationship involved. without actually being in a relationship. that is, until one of his friends hit me up. there was some flirtation going on but nothing serious. i was still in love with 1 but, at the time, i was in desperate need for attention and his buddy was there to provide it. when i told 1 about it he flipped out, called me all kinds of crazy and decided he was done with me. his friend and i talked about it and poked fun at the fact that he broke up with me but got mad at someone else paying attention to me. when 1 saw this (he ended up forcing me to show him the screenshots of the conversation) he was even more pissed and even more done with me. the next day he called me and we were basically back together again.
however, this time, i was meant to earn his affection. because i did something so unforgivable and atrocious, he was basically in the clear to treat me like shit. and he did. he would cancel plans to go hang out with his friends. he would only come over late at night, even when i had class the next day. i was basically at his mercy. we only hung out when he decided. we only spoke when he wanted to. i honestly can’t even recall us going on any date after that incident, save for one dinner. in short, i was not a priority to him. this, combined with some other stuff, really took at toll on my mental health. i entered a deep depression and began self-harming after being clean for 3 years. i sought out help and found a wonderful therapist who really helped me. but, 1 only saw this as one more problem. when we hung out he would complain that i was too sad. important note: because of that text he sent me i was incredibly insecure. so, little arguments would always end up escalating because i felt like he literally did not care about me and he would just keep making me feel like shit about being depressed. whenever we argued (which was very often) it would end in me locking myself in the bathroom, sobbing, nearly throwing up, while he was on his phone. i remember one specific argument started because he asked me if i would leave him for harry styles and i jokingly said yes (i am not and have never been attracted to harry styles). that argument escalated to the point where we almost broke up and he said to me “you should warn people before they fall in love with you that you are so mentally ill. because you’re always going to bring down the mental state of who you’re with”. he used my mental health against me like that a lot. whenever i would bring up something i wanted him to do or something that i didn’t like, he would call me needy, clingy, and say that he was trying his best but that i needed too much, that i was too much. all i wanted was reassurance. looking back, that’s all i ever asked for. whenever i would ask him if he loved me he would say “well i’m with you aren’t i?”. this is the same man who decided to go to vegas with his friends on my birthday after he promised he wouldn’t. this is the same man who said that he didn’t love me. the same one who said he wasn’t attracted to me. the same man who i would catch looking at other girl’s (some being his “friends”) provocative pictures on twitter. (this is definitely tmi so i’m just going to put a bunch of asterisks at the end of the tmi so you can skip there if you don’t want to read it) but there was a long period of time in our relationship where we had zero intimacy, and it wasn’t because of me. this fucked with my head a lot because i had this idea that because i was so emotional and needy that i could compensate physically. but when that stopped, my thoughts looked something like “the only thing i was useful for was sex and now he doesn’t even want that from me”.************whenever i remember this, a part of me thinks he might’ve been cheating on me during that time, but i have no proof so i guess we’ll never know. also during that time period, we were arguing over the same things over and over “it feels like you don’t love me” “but i’m hanging out with you” “that’s not the same as loving me” “you’re so fucking needy. and then you wonder why i don’t like coming over”. it was exhausting. we had the same friend group. and even our friends got so sick of us that they would tell me to break up with him. this went on for months until one day, on our one year anniversary, he told me that his plans for the day included playing video games. nothing else. that’s when i broke up with him. that was the straw that broke the camel’s back. i just couldn’t do it anymore.
we stayed friends afterwards in order to keep the peace within the friend group. after about a month, he told me he was going to do better. he said he was going to start going to the gym, and maybe even going to therapy, that he was going to eat better and live a better lifestyle for me. he said he was going to plan dates for us and treat me the way i deserved etc. very much vibes from that one euphoria scene. but i was done. maybe i didn’t communicate that well enough to him and that’s my fault. but i was really confused at the time and i didn’t know what i wanted. eventually we had a conversation and that’s when i told him that i was no longer interested in a relationship. i think i just didn’t believe him anymore. i didn’t believe that he would change for me or anyone else for that matter. through the entire relationship he was mean to me, he neglected me, belittled me, and overall made me feel like shit at worst and invisible at best. even when i would offer to plan things or suggest activities for us to do together, he would be disinterested the entire time or just cancel and make plans with his friends instead. and of course it was all my fault for one, flirting with his friend that one time, and two, just not being interesting enough. he made it feel like i wasn’t good enough, and at the same time victimized himself. he would tell me “nothing i do is ever good enough for you” while i was the one putting in all the effort in the relationship. then he would go “well why would i put in effort with you? remember when you were flirting with [redacted]? I still think about that and it fucks me up”. mind you, he would only bring this up whenever i brought up any concerns or issues. anyway, as you can tell it took me a really long time to realize that this relationship was toxic and unhealthy and i’m really proud of myself, again, for having the strength to leave and never look back. i think one of the reasons why it took me so long to realize that i was being mistreated was because everyone around him loved him. and to me it was hard to see how someone that was so well liked could be bad. so i felt like i was the problem. i felt like there was something wrong with me and if i just fixed that, then he would treat me better and love me and care about me. it took a lot of therapy to realize that he just wasn’t that into me. i was like a toy to him that he could just pay attention to when he was bored but ignore me the rest of the time. but then, when someone else showed interest in me he would suddenly care and be like “no she’s mine, you can’t have her”. he didn’t want me but he didn’t want anyone else to have me and that was the bottom line. that was the base off all the problems and toxicity that happened while we were together.
in conclusion, both of these men were awful in their own unique ways. i hope that by sharing this, someone who is in a similar situation will see it and identify these behaviors as something to watch out for. i hope that someone will see it and realize that they are not alone, and that they are not the first person to go through it, and that it gets better. these events all happened over two years ago and now i am in a beautiful and healthy relationship, i’m studying something that i am passionate about, and i am surrounded by people who love, care about, and support me. i am in a much happier place now and you will find that too, whoever you might be <3
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flowershines · 3 months
Text
Closer Party Pooper
Summary: Being the 8th member of Enhypen means that you get to spend time with people that actually make you feel special but little does everyone know that during most of those times your on your knees in front of them as you pleasuring them everyday.
Warnings: Smut, drinking, arguing, nicknames, parties, drunk man groping Y/n, dirty talk, (lmk if i missed any)
<previous masterlist next>
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Sounds of people talking and music filled the area around you as you felt compressed between fifty to maybe a hundred bodies around you, one foot after the other you led yourself to a hallway that contained a line of people heading towards the bathroom on the opposite side of the door there was a bucket. Two options filled your mind knowing the reason why that bucket is there while both reasons wanted to make you puke causing you to make a disgusted face as you turn around to face a guy with a cup in his hand, “sorry” you told the man as you swiftly moved passed him as you started to walk around the house trying to find your friends. Drunken bodies filled every room you walked into as you inspecting each room carefully you found multiple people tongue tied with one another as couples makeout on the couches, the smell of beer flowed through your body turning around a tall figure who had a crowd of girls swooning at his every move was playing beer pong behind you the whole time you stood there.
“Y/n, come take my spot gonna get another drink.” Walking towards the man you knew from the voice it was Heeseung, usually wherever he went the crowd of girls followed him so seeing the pile of girls surrounding just this one man only meant there was no other man but him. “Is the beer not in front of you not enough?” You asked him sarcastically he fake laughed as he gave you the ping pong ball “Don’t make me lose.” were the last words he said before turning around and heading towards the kitchen as half of the girls followed him while the others waited for him to come back as they finally backed away and took a seat on the furthest couch.
“How does he manage with all these girls up his ass 24/7? I would cry, or punch them either one.” The man across the table laughs at your comment while the guy standing next to him says, “One, you're just sensitive Y/n and two I don't think he minds it.” baffled by the words the man just said you scoffed at his remark “Of course you would say that Jake, you're the most sensitive guy i’ve ever known.” “Can both of you shut up, you're making me lose my focus.” Sunghoon interrupts the both of you as he was looking directly at the cups “I’m sure they are the problem.” The guys at the other end of the table sarcastically comment, making you giggle, “Oh shut up Jay, you're worse at this game than me.” the man put his hand over his chest as he scoffed while whispering the word ‘rude’ to Jake. “When are we going back to the dorms? This party is so boring.” You whined to the men at the table as you bend your knees to drag out your boredom, “Soon, just get a few drinks in you and then you won’t want to leave. That’s what Sunoo did, see.” the man across from you said as he pointed at the man on the couch, sprawled and passed out with a drink in his hand. “Yup, he looks like he’s having a blast.” Sarcasm wasn’t leaving your presence today, “Where’s Won?” Jay looked up at you as he pointed behind you to show the man you were looking for to be playing video games with other people as the whole room was filled with men.
Your mouth formed an ‘o’ shape as your gaze was turned back to the game just to have your attention be taken away from the game to feel someone's hand sneak around your waist “Thanks I can take it from here.” Heeseung said as he went to take your stance you interrupted his actions “Can you actually get me a drink or two, they just said they don’t know how long it is till we leave. I can’t go through this whole night sober if we are staying here longer.” a small laugh left his lips while his head nodded to you as his hand left its previous stance on your waist. “Your drinking?” The man next to you askes as he hands you the ping pong ball, you back up one step and lean forward to look at the cups from a certain angle as you toss the ball it lands in one of the cups displayed the closest to you. The man straight ahead of you cursed under his breath as he picked up the ball out of the cup and started to chug the liquid in it, “This party is honestly so boring, I don’t even know if I want to remember this.” a hand appeared next to you with a drink in it.
“Just let me know when you want a refill.” You nodded as you stepped out of your previous spot and headed towards Jake, “Now you're routing for the opposite team, not cool Y/nie.” Heesung says as he fake pouts the feeling of an arm being wrapped around your shoulder startled you. “Yes she is, it’s just because I'm the best.” The disgusted face returns to your face once again but thankfully it was for a different reason than before, “I wasn’t even here for the whole conversation and I still know Jake is lying, get your disgusting arms off her.” Jungwon says as he walks over to you lifting up Jake’s arm from his long sleeve with his pointer finger and thumb. “Hee where did your entourage go?” Jungwon asked as he walked behind you, hugging your waist as he rested his head on your shoulder giving you a kiss on the neck then returning his gaze to Heeseung.
“Gone.” “Not even the one who never leaves your side.” “Fine I told them to leave me alone, plus that one girl always smells like potato chips anyways.” Shock lit up your face at Heeseungs rude comment about the girl, sure she was just another one of his followers but you never thought he viewed some of them in those certain ways. “Heeseung, that's rude.” You commented, “But it’s true.” Sunghoon says as he dabs up Heeseung. Picking up the cup you slowly take small sips as you continue to watch your friends compete against one another, sip after sip the drink in your hand felt lighter as you looked down into the cup there was nothing left in it. “I’m gonna go get a refill, you stay here.” You tell the man that was just resting his head on you as you walked towards the kitchen with an empty cup in your hand, stopping in front of the drinks about to pick up the drink Heeseung had gotten you before a hand stopped you and pulled your trance towards the figure. It was a tall man who had a bottle of whisky in one arm as the other picked up the drink you were about to grab, “Sorry, were you about to grab that?” he asked as he extended the bottle towards your body.
“Thanks.” You say as you placed your cup on the table and started to fill your cup up to the brim “Geez save some for me.” he remarks as you giggled in response handing him back the bottle as he filled the cup he had as well. “What’s a pretty girl like you doing out here getting yourself a drink all alone?” The bottle that was in his arm was no longer there but was now being replaced as his hand sneaked around to your ass while the other went to wrap around your waist, “I’m not-” your stuttering easily showed just how scared and nervous you were around this mysterious man. “Baby, don't be shy. Why don’t you come upstairs with me and I can give you a good time?” Disgust started to fill every inch of your body as you tried your hardest to get the drunken man away from you yet your build just wasn’t strong enough to take his, suddenly the presence of his body was soon gone. A hand wrapped around your wrist while the other hand took the cup away from your grasp, it was Heeseung.
“What did I tell you?..” Before you could even think to respond more words started to fall from his lips “I would refill your drink, not you. Me.” he led you back to the table where all the boys were playing the game yet none of them were there “Where did they go?” He picked up the rest of his and the members' things then started walking to the door still holding onto you. “We were about to leave, you were gone so I went out to find you.” Picking your head up you were faced with the car the guys drove you here in, Heeseung opened the door as he let go of your hand and walked to the other side of his car getting into his seat.
“Where were you?” Sunghoon asks as you sit down starting to buckle your seatbelt, before a word can fall out of your mouth Heeseung answers the question for you “She was letting some guy touch up on her, as the guy was basically dry humping her.” his words pissed you off because not even did he lie but he got the whole thing twisted, “No, I went to get a drink. Like I told Jungwon, anyways this guy started touching me and I tried to get him off of me while he was saying some ‘baby let me show you a good time’ type shit. So no, I did not let him willingly touch me, thank you very much.” you say breathless as you finally lean back into the seat. The whole car went singlet for a minute, “Why didn’t you tell me that he was touching you like that and you didn’t consent to anything.” you rolled your eyes “Does holding my wrist and pulling me away saying ‘what did I say about the refill’ ring any bells?” you commented, mimicking him in the worst voice impression ever. “I don’t sound like that and all I was getting across was that you should’ve listened to me about the refills so that way this wouldn't happen.” “Oh yeah my apologies I forgot that Lee Heeseung knows when and where every man is going to be every second, how could i forget? Not to mention he knows when a man is trying to get his dick in my pants as well.”
“Would it kill you to not give me sarcasm just for a minute? I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you.” He bluntly remarks “Yes.” “Yes what?” you looked directly into his eyes “Yes it would kill me.” his breathing started to become more heavy causing him to huff his air out while his body started to fill with anger he usually wasn’t easily triggered like this but he is tipsy not to mention he saw another man on you causing him to be a little jealous as well, you didn’t know that though. Tension filled every corner of the car while the only two voices heard was yours and Heeseung, occasionally the angered words that would fall from one of your lips would stutter or slur from the lack of soberness from the both of you. Not to mention almost all of the guys in the car passed out from being drunk or they are just listening to you both bitch and moan about why he was right or why you were right, “God you guys are annoying, you're giving me a headache.” Sunoo says as he rubs his temple “Yeah, cut it out.” Jake said as he turned from his previous sleeping state you listened to them and shut up, normally if it was Jake just saying it alone then you wouldn’t but hearing Sunoo say it just shut you up immediately, you have a soft spot for him.
Feeling the car come to a stop as the driver put it in park you immediately opened your door and headed straight towards your room knowing that Heeseung wasn’t done with the conversation yet, footsteps trailed behind you as you walked into the dorms. You could hear him calling your name but you ignored him not wanting to annoy the members more than you already have with both of your bickering, opening your bedroom door you shut it behind you walking straight towards your bed as you hear the sound of your door open. “Why are you such a brat?” Flopping down on your bed you lay deeper into your pillow as your face is being engulfed by the softness of it, “Leave me alone.” you muffled into the pillow but surprisingly he heard you. “No, not till we finish this.” Picking your head up from the pillow you looked at his figure as he stood in front of your bed, “Finish what? This isn’t a game, there is nothing to finish. Go to bed Heeseung.” the feeling of a dent in your bed made you realize that he sat down while you sat up facing him.
Great now he’s never gonna leave. “Y/n I'm being serious I-” You cut him off as you placed your lips on his, bringing him into a quick kiss as seconds reality hit you causing your lips to slowly start to leave his, silence was heard for a moment “See silent, good talk. Goodnight.” you tell him as you lay on your stomach enjoying the soft warmth of your pillow once more till his words brought you out of your trance. “You can’t just do that.” “Well I did, goodnight.” you muffled into your pillow “Can you hand me my blanket?” asking him as he was sitting on the edge of it resulting in him shaking his head “Why did you do that?” a groan left your lips.
You thought the kiss would help him shut up but what is it going to take for this man to go to bed “You talk too much.” he rolled his eyes “And you don’t talk enough.” picking your head up from the pillow you spun your head to the side “What is it going to take for you to shut up and go to bed?” His eyes met yours as he studied them just before he leaned in, placing his lips on yours once more but this time it wasn’t just a half assed kiss to get him to shut up, there was something more behind the kiss. His hands ran to the back of your head as his fingers tangled into your hair as desperation started to fill every inch of his body, the only thing he was questioning in the moment was if this was happening because you both had something to drink or if he really felt a certain way towards you. Your arms wrapped around his shoulders as you hopelessly needed to feel more of him, he was the only thing that was running through your mind the moment he wrapped his hand around your waist at the party.
Hunger started to fill the air as the kiss deepened into his hands running along every inch of your body, his hands rested on your inner thighs slightly rubbing them just before he brought both of his hands to your hips and pulled you onto his lap while his hands gripped your hips like his life depended on it. “You done acting like a brat?” He mumbled against your lip as he immediately returned back to your lips giving you no time to answer his question, but little did he know it wasn't going to be as easy as he thinks. Trying to pull away from the kiss you were only met by him pulling you even more closer till your hips started to move causing his reaction time to be delayed, pulling away from the kiss you finally replied to his question “What if I said I wasn't done acting like one?” a smirk crawled from one side of his face to the other. “Guess I’d have to make you behave then, right?”
“Good Luck.” His smirk faded as his bottom lip landed in between his teeth “Don’t need your luck.” he pushed your shoulders into the mattress below you as he filled the empty space between you two, placing his lips immediately back onto yours his hands traveled around your body while your fingers went to his shirt pulling it off of his body as he still was fixated on your body. You knew that the more his skin was showing the more vulnerable he would become giving you the hand in dominance, which would allow you to be a brat to him and leave him high and dry. You weren’t planning on doing that because genuinely you wanted him to fuck the pettiness out of you, like he has always said he would. Pulling yourself out of your thoughts the feeling of a hard piece of fabric rubbing up against your clothed cunt resulted in you looking up at the man above you then trailing your eyes down his body as his cock was threatening to be freed from his pants.
Bringing your eyes back to meet his “You gonna continue being a brat or are you gonna help?” his words started to fill with lust the moment his dick rubbed up against you, “You know being a brat sound really nice, but I just wanna get myself off so do me a favor and get off of me so I can ride you since you are clearly not going to do anything.” your words took him aback. “Being a bit selfish don’t you think?” you shook your head “I get myself off and you...” you grabbed his hand and showed it to him “…have something to help you later how nice is that.” “You suggesting that you ride me, make yourself cum while I jerk off.” you pushed him up and off of you while sitting up straight next to him “Seems pretty crystal clear to me.” his head slightly shook as his eyes rolled “I have an idea.” your gaze met his as he continues to talk. “You ride me and the first one to cum had to watch the other fuck someone who can make them cum.”
Your eyes as he didn’t even know how much excitement was running through your body while adrenaline was pumping through your veins, “Let’s go I don’t got all day.” you say getting up from your position holding onto his holders as he scooted to the pillows for elevation when you ride him. Your hands started to take off your shirt off while your attention turned to him as he sat there looking at you blankly, “Need me to undress you too? or do you got it?” you asked in a baby voice he gave you a disgusted look from your sarcasm as he started to unbuckle his belt. “Are you still gonna be bratty after i we fuck?” “Depends how good we fuck.” you shrugged while he finished taking off his pants along with you taking off yours. You got on top of his lap leaning forward getting closer to him as you placed a kiss on his lips just before you started to grind down onto his hardened cock causing a groan to fall from his lips, “I barely did anything and your already moaning.” he sighed “Just wait you will be cumming on my cock in less than 10 minutes.” you rolled your eyes and scoffed as you brought your hand down towards his boxers as you toyed with the waistband, waiting till he was desperate enough to continue.
It was fun to tease Heeseung and he always made it so easy, his cock was twitching against his boxers as pre cum started to leak out of them. It was almost too easy. You pulled his boxers down past his knees as you took his aching cock and placed it in your hand as you slowly started to stroke it causing multiple noises to be heard from the man under you, bringing your hand to your mouth you let spit fall from your mouth and onto your hand while you placed the hand back on his cock giving it more lube making it easier for him to slide in. Pulling your panties to one side you brought his tip closer and closer to your aching heat, the air in your room was filled with tension and warmth. Slowly starting to sink down onto his cock you just realized how hard this little challenge he gave you was going to be, but that wasn’t going to stop you from winning.
Groans and whines left his lips as you bottomed out on him his hips were about to thrust up into you multiple times but he stopped himself as he didn’t want to give in to his desperate needs, your hips gained the strength to start moving as you started to find a steady pace to keep. His cock would twitch inside of you which would have you feeling like cummjng each time he did it because it would hit the perfect spots when you did, you started to wonder if he started to do it on purpose. It gave you the idea to start clenching around him. “Fuck.. Y/n don’t do that.” He said breathlessly “Why?” he remained silent not wanting to tell you ‘it felt to good’ or ‘because i’m gonna cum if you don’t stop’ you knew he was going to cave in before you. Clenching around him more resulted on his hands on your waist as he thrusted up into you as he kept your hips in the air he pulled out and came onto his stomach. “Fuck fuck fuck.”
Swears consistently left his lips with every stroke “What happened to you being confident?” finishing his last stroke he looks back up at you “Y/n pleas-” “Wait what about the thing you get to watch me fuck someone else.” his expression changed from relaxed to tense and jealous “No, it was a jok-” “You said Heeseung, i’ll be back.” he got up from his previous spit laying down as pulled his sweatpants on as he watched you put on one of your robes. “Where are you going?” you turned towards him “Going to find Jay, so he can fuck me while you watch.”
tags list:
@luvyev @honestimage @siria000023 @tooshyshaa @heeseungshim @juliesblogs @wonpoem @weyukinluv @cha0thicpisces @jungwonloveer @zouzie008 @wooziswife @jwonistic @wonniesdoll @wonki-luv @en-gene2 @deobitifull @cupidhee @namdeyuoi @hanienie @gfjydhufvh @nyfwyeonjun @sangzhi4 @peonywon @caravm @heeseungsbabyy
if your tag is in white i couldn’t find ur blog
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hyunniesgirl · 5 months
Text
Another Love | Part 4
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Words count: 6,639
Warnings for this chapter: angst(as usual)
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
A/N: I'm sorry it took me a bit longer to write this part, I'm just in a weird place right now. I'm doubting a lot about my skills as a writer and that leads me to believe everything I write sucks so this was a bit harder to write, I hope you all like it though.
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Jisung has been dreaming about you lately. Going back to every little memory he has with you, watching all the signs you gave him while he was oblivious to you, to your feelings.
It's been almost a week since Han ended things with Lia. The things she said are still stuck in his head, he can't be in love with you. Not after rejecting you. Not after everything you went through to get over him. Not now, when you're happy with someone else.
Things are going back to the way they were before, except that now your roles are reversed, he's the one hanging on your every word and movement, all the little details about you look fascinating to him. He's never felt this way before.
You're not avoiding him anymore. Things fell into place slowly, you started having dinner together again, talking about your day. Then you got back to making coffee for him in the morning, waking him up with the nice scent so he wouldn't be too grumpy woking up so early.
He has a mission now: to stop these strange thoughts he's having. Even if he is indeed feeling this way about you, he lost his chance. He knows he did. Right now, he wants to focus on being a good friend to you, the same as he was before the confession happened.
Jisung just didn't expect how he would feel seeing you with Jeongho again. You invited all your friends to dinner in a nice restaurant, to officially introduce your boyfriend to everyone.
This must be how you felt seeing him with all his previous partners, you must have felt this ache in your chest, as if someone was holding your heart and squeezing it to their heart's content.
You look pretty, hair tied in a ponytail and a dress he never saw before, maybe it's a gift from your boyfriend, he wouldn't know. He avoids talking about your relationship, too selfish to handle the same pain you did for so many years.
Your friendship is getting back to what it was, even though he screwed up really badly, you were the bigger person and forgave him, so he has no right feeling this way about you.
Jisung knows it would be better for you and for him if you didn't come back to the apartment but he's too greedy, he wants you close to him.
This whole problem began because he was greedy, afterall. He didn't want to stay away from you, then he hurt you again and again trying to fix things. Now he just wants to make things right, he just wants you to be happy.
You're smiling so brightly it actually makes his heart skip a beat. He sips from his drink, trying to calm his heart a bit and watch as the others try to make small talk.
“So how did you meet y/n?” Chan asks Jeongho.
“I had the biggest crush on her in middle school but she mercilessly rejected me”, Jeongho answers, looking at you and smiling playfully.
“I thought he had lost a bet or something”, you defend yourself.
“Why would you think that?” Han asks, surprised and you stare at him for a second before shrugging. Of course Jisung was not the only reason for you to reject Jeongho, you were just learning about your feelings at that time. You just couldn't get your head around why someone older and handsome like Jeongho would want to have anything to do with you.
“Y/N was one of the prettiest girls in our school”, Han comments, not understanding why you would feel like that.
He always thought you were pretty, that's why he always complimented you and gave you clothes saying they would look good on you.
“I think teenagers are just insecure. I guess it's part of growing up”, you sip from your wine glass.
Jisung never thought you were insecure about anything by the way you carried yourself with your head high, always so sure about everything you put your mind into. Maybe there's too much he doesn't know about you.
The rest of the dinner goes well, your friends are being nice and trying to make Jeongho comfortable, you're happy about it. Everything seems to be falling into place with your best friend by your side being his normal self and your boyfriend, the guy you're falling in love with being just perfect. Your heart is finally healing, you're moving on, things are working out. You couldn't wish for anything else, you just want things to stay like this forever.
“Are you happy?” Jisung asks when you're outside the restaurant, Jeongho stepped out to take a call from work and left you and your friends alone. One by one they called it a night, saying their goodbyes and leaving you and Han alone.
You stare at him for a moment before answering.
“Yes, I am”, you're not sure why he wants to know and not even sure why you're thinking so much before answering.
Jisung smiles, a sincere and bright smile.
“I'm glad”, he says, “I want you to be happy”
You are a bit taken aback, you didn't expect him to react this way, he almost sounds like a grown up now.
“Thanks, I-”
“I'm sorry I kept you waiting”, Jeongho's voice cuts you out. He slides his arm over your shoulders pulling you closer.
“I should get going”, Jisung says, turning his gaze away from you and your boyfriend.
“Aren't you going home?” You ask and he shakes his head, he's not sure if he can stay at the same place with you two for much longer. “Oh, are you going to Lia's?”
There's not a bit of discomfort in your face, so he just nods. He's not sure if now is the best moment to tell you about his situation with Lia.
“Okay, see you tomorrow then”, you hesitate, not sure if it's appropriate, but you try not thinking too much, throwing your arms around him, squeezing him into a hug. You would never think twice about hugging him before your confession, there's no need for you to make it awkward now.
You're trying to get things back to the way they were and Jisung notices that, he's grateful. So the only thing he can do is wrap his arms around your waist, hugging you back.
Jisung didn't want to lie, but he's afraid it may be uncomfortable to you if he says he's not with Lia anymore. And he's afraid you'll be able to see right through him, see that he is giving in to the strange feelings he's trying so hard to avoid.
He ends up sleeping on Chan's couch, if he could call that ‘sleeping’. Everytime he closes his eyes, you show up in his mind, smiling, making a joke, just looking at him. Everytime he finally managed to fall asleep, you would be there, together with your boyfriend, giggling and kissing him while Jisung just watched. He would wake up sweating and stare at the ceiling for at least ten minutes before trying to sleep again.
>><<
After pondering what he wanted to do from now on, Jisung decided he should have some closure with Lia. He didn't like the way things ended with her, he really liked her until a certain point and above all, she is a good person. Even though he didn't want to, he ended up hurting her and he should apologize for that.
Awkward. That's the best word to explain the situation that Jisung finds himself in right now. Lia is on the other side of the table, glaring at him like she could kill him with the power of her mind.
“What is it that you want?” She asks, coldly.
He clears his throat, trying to gather some courage.
“I want to apologize”, he says, “I shouldn't have lead you on even though I already knew something was not right”, sighing he looks at her, biting his lower lip, “I'm just… confused, I ended up hurting you in the middle of this mess and I'm really sorry”
Lia looks at his eyes, staring deeply. She can feel his sincerity but she's not sure if only an apology is enough to make up for the pain he caused. She's not crazy, she knows people can't control how they feel most of the time. Maybe if he just admits he likes you, she'll feel at ease.
“So, have you finally accepted that you're in love with y/n?”
Jisung thinks for a bit, trying to put what he is feeling into words.
“I don't know if love is the right word”, he says, fidgeting with his fingers, “but I'm feeling some weird things around her, when she smiles or laughs, or even when she's doing nothing”, he covers his mouth with his hand in a slap, wide eyes, realizing he is talking about being in love with someone else with the girl that likes him.
Lia chuckles.
“It's alright, I'm pretty sure that's the definition of love though”, she sighs looking at Jisung. “Maybe you never felt that before”
It's not easy for her to be kind and comprehensive at the moment, but it's not like being mean is going to make him like her back. She's not actually even sure if she wants that anymore. Maybe her heart just accepted things ended, maybe she was already preparing herself for this since Han started acting differently, but the pain is not as great as she thought it would be. Maybe seeing him naively admitting his feelings made her have some sympathy for the mess he made of his relationship with you, maybe she didn't like him as much as she thought.
Since the beginning, there were too many maybes in this relationship. Lia knows she deserves better, she deserves someone who's sure about her, no maybes.
“I think I can forgive you, yeah”, she chuckles seeing Jisungs shocked face, “not now, obviously”, with a sigh, she looks deeply into his eyes, “you were always great to me before things started going wrong and I know you're not a bad person”, she stands up, “I'm actually feeling bad for you, with the mess you created I have no idea how you're going to fix it, but I'll cheer for you”, she puts her hand in his shoulder, squeezing it in reassurance. Lia leaves Jisung there, stuck in his head once more. At least that is something they both have in common, because he sure doesn't know how he's going to keep these strange feelings under control while fixing his relationship with you.
>><<
If Jisung had to rate his acting skills, he would be proud to say he deserves an award. He's succeeding at pretending not to be in love with you while maintaining a healthy friendship.
It's almost the same as it was before, except Jisung has to watch his every move. He's trying to act normal while trying to crush the onslaught of feelings in his chest everytime you laugh at one of his jokes, or when you just talk about your very normal day.
You both do your things during the day, have dinner together and talk or watch something before sleeping, that's your routine when Jeongho is not visiting.
You've been watching your phone lately, more than usual, is there something wrong? He's sure you're just waiting for Jeongho's call. Jisung has lost count of how many nights he spent listening to your laughs on the phone with your boyfriend, wishing it was him making you happy like that.
It's true, he's struggling. He's not sure how you managed to like him for so long without freaking out, because he's about to collapse and it's been just about a month since he came to terms with his feelings.
He feels bad just thinking about how much you must have suffered because of him, before and after your confession. Guilt is eating him alive, along with heartbreak.
He's been watching you for a while now, you are washing the dishes while talking about these kids you tutor and how smart they are, he's staring at you with heart eyes—you're not seeing—while he dries the dishes.
“I'm sure they can only learn so fast because it's you teaching them”, Jisung says.
You giggle to his compliment, bumping a shoulder into his.
“Should we watch a movie before going to bed?” You ask, drying your hands on your apron.
“I'm actually kinda sleepy”, Jisung laughs, he can only keep his feeling bottled for so long, he doesn't want to get careless and blurt out everything. He knows that if he gets too comfortable he'll feel at ease and you were always too good at making him tell you what's on his mind.
“Let's do it another time then”, you shrug, taking your phone out of your pocket and smiling when the screen brightens with Jeongho's name.
Han feels his chest tighten, he wants to throw up, he wants to cry, he wants to plead for you to not like someone else. But he can't do any of those things, not when you're so happy. So he won't be selfish, he'll think about you first and keep his distance.
>><<
It's been almost a month since the last time you saw Jeongho. He was not able to come by on the usual weekends because the company he works for is opening a new branch somewhere and he is involved in the project.
He's been busy, texting less and not even calling, so you start getting insecure. What if he's getting cold feet about your relationship? Maybe he met someone more interesting who's near him.
No. Jeongho wouldn't be like that. He would break up if he didn't like you anymore, you know him enough to know that.
When he calls saying he's coming to see you, you feel excited once again. You knew you were mistaken, it's not right to presume the worst just because he's a bit more busy. It must be nothing.
You just can't shake the feeling that you were going through the calm before the storm and now the bad weather is finally coming.
He's waiting for you at the restaurant of the hotel he's staying in, Jeongho is fidgeting with his fingers nervously, looking around until his eyes land on you. You smile at him, waving at him but he doesn't smile back.
“Hey”, you say, dropping your bag on the chair and sitting, “is there something wrong?”
“I received a promotion”, he says suddenly, he doesn't look happy about it.
“That's great”, you smile, taking his hand into yours to hold it, not really understanding his reaction.
He stares at your hands together, taking a deep breath before speaking again.
“Actually, the company wants me to go to Europe”, Jeongho says, fidgeting with his hands.
“Oh”, you frown, “for how long?”
“They are not sure about the exact period, but-”, he clears his throat, looking around, “they are projecting it to be between five and eight years”, he replies, feeling his breathing quickening.
“They want you to move there?” You repeat it to yourself, trying to absorb the information.
“They are trying to make an entry in the European market, so a team is needed there to develop the new branch”
“Okay, yeah”, you feel dizzy, “we can work with that, hm, I can- we can visit each other”, you nod, trying to organize your thoughts.
“Y/N-”, Jeongho starts, his voice fails and he stops for a moment before continuing. “Long distance works right now because we are a 2 hour flight away from each other, not 12 hours”
“What are you saying?” You feel all the air in your lungs escape, knowing exactly what he means but choosing not to believe it.
“I don't think we can keep doing this, I'm not sure our relationship is going to survive and-”, he sighs, running his hand through his hair, “I won't ask you to come with me”
“Why not? Why won't you ask me?” You plead, feeling tears brimming in your eyes. It's not logical what you're asking of him, but you don't want to hurt anymore, not again.
“How could I? I can't make you leave your whole life here, your family, your friends or college to go to a country where you know no one but me”, he explains, “I’ll be in charge of a large project, I'll have to stay late probably everyday and you're going to stay alone, how could I do that to you?”
“Don't you think that's for me to decide?” You ask, feeling your hands shaking. You put them in between your legs, trying not to show him the sight of your broken heart.
“I can't- I can't carry that guilt with me”, he says, “not knowing how happy you are here, if you go with me and things end up not working out I could never forgive myself”
“What if things work out? What if we are happy together forever? Did you consider it for a moment?” You ask, he's not looking at you. Jeongho is trying to hold his own tears, trying to be strong for you, “I guess this relationship is not worth you considering it”, you stand up, grabbing your bag.
He lifts his eyes to look at him, finding your quivering lips and the tears flooding from your eyes.
“Well, good luck then”, you tell him, turning around and walking out.
After walking far enough from the hotel, you let yourself crouch on the floor, scaring the people walking by. You are sobbing, trying to wipe the tears from your eyes, but they keep coming continuously.
You stand up again, walking, what are you supposed to do now? When are things going to finally get better for you? Since you confessed to Jisung things got worse over and over, you should have never told him about your feelings, maybe your life would have stayed the same.
The hurt you felt seeing him with other people was a pain you were already used to, but this? This is excruciating, it's the same all over again, the same as when Jisung rejected you. Will you ever feel complete again?
It's 3 a.m, Jisung went to the studio to work for a bit and to try to forget about everything else. His phone buzzes in his pocket, when he looks at the screen, your name is there. He doesn't think twice about answering, just to find your drunk voice on the other side of the call. He can't understand a thing you're saying just that you'll share your location with him.
He grabs the keys to his car, running to the parking lot, he drives for about thirty minutes until arriving where you are. The bar is empty, there are only employees cleaning and you're laying on the counter, unconscious.
“It's been a while since we closed, but we let her stay inside since it looks like she went through something”, the bartender tells Han when he gets closer.
“Thank you”, Jisung says, before trying to wake you up with no success. He sighs, looking around and thinking about what to do.
He slides one of your arms around his neck, putting one of his hands behind your back for support and the other underneath your knees, lifting you up.
Your face is puffy, he can see it now that he's looking so closely, you probably cried a lot but what would make you cry like that?
Jisung glances at you a few times during the ride home. You groan, whining something in your sleep, even crying a bit. That makes him even more worried.
He repeats the process of picking you up when he parks in front of your apartment, carrying you inside. You whimper all the way to the apartment, he knows you can wake up at any moment.
Han sits you on your bed, taking your coat off and helping you lay down, covering you with a blanket after taking off your shoes. Your makeup is all smeared, so he picks a wet tissue and starts rubbing your face, trying to take off everything he can.
You open your eyes slowly, seeing Jisung with a focused expression while whipping your face.
“What are you doing?” You ask, making him jump. He was so concentrated he didn't even see you waking up.
“I was trying to take your makeup off”, he says, “it's not good for you to sleep with it on your face”
“How did I come home?” You look around, stumbling a bit over your words.
“You don't remember calling me?” He asks and you shake your head. “I went to the bar to pick you up”
Jisung is still whipping your face while he talks, that's when you remember why you were in the bar in the first place and tears run out of your eyes again.
“What happened? Why are you crying like this?” He asks worriedly, helping you sit on the bed.
“I don't- everything goes wrong for me”, you say, sobbing. “Maybe I'm the problem”
Jisung sighs, pulling you into a hug and holding you tightly, feeling your tears soak his shirt. He's worried and doesn't know what to do, should he call Hannah? Or Jeongho? Jisung knows you went to meet with him earlier… wait, did that guy do this to you?
After you stop sobbing for a while, Jisung realizes you fell asleep in his embrace. He lies you on the bed, covering you with the blanket once more. He leaves a glass of water and some hangover medicine on your nightstand so you can take in the morning and prepares his bed on the floor.
You wake up to the bright sunlight coming from the window, your head hurts like crazy and you're so thirsty it seems like a thousand years since you last drank something.
You take the hangover medicine and the water, while sitting down, still a bit dizzy. When your feet touch the floor, it's not the hard ground they meet but something soft. Why is Jisung sleeping by your bedside?
He doesn't look a bit comfortable, although he seems fast asleep. You start poking him, trying to make him wake up, causing your friend to jump and hold your arm.
“Are you alright?” He asks, eyes widened.
You frown at the sight, it's been a while since you last saw Jisung this startled.
“Yeah”, you answer and he can finally let out the breath he didn't even notice was being held. “Why are you sleeping on the floor?”
He looks around for a bit as if he didn't understand why you were asking such a thing.
“Oh, I- hm- I was afraid you would need something so I stayed here just in case”, he tells you and you nod.
It's not an uncommon occurrence for you two to do this kind of thing, even when you were living with your parents. When one of you got sick, it was a tradition to stay by each other's side until the other felt better.
When you moved in with him, naturally, your drinking habits grew since you didn't have to worry about your parents anymore. Jisung was responsible for taking care of you when you came home wasted after partying with Hannah or even when you drunk with him and the boys, he made sure to stay sober enough to still be able to take you home and help you get to your room safely.
“Oh”, you answer, “thank you”
He kept staring at you, waiting for something you're not sure what is.
“Do you want to talk about the reason you got wasted last night?” He asks, awkwardly and the pain comes back all at once.
It was so nice, the period of numbness after waking up from a deep sleep, you wish you could keep feeling that way. Now, your hands are trembling again, just like last night, tears are brimming in your eyes and your lips are quivering. It's obvious to Jisung, you're trying not to cry.
He gets up, collecting the things he used to sleep, without looking at you, he doesn't want to make you any more uncomfortable.
“We don't have to talk about it”, he says, putting the blanket and pillow back in your wardrobe. “Do you want me to call Hannah?” He asks and you stare at him for a moment, nodding to his question, not really wanting to look at your phone.
You're scared Jeongho contacted you, you don't want to see him. But more than anything, you're scared he didn't try talking to you at all, because that means everything is really over.
It's pathetic, you know that break ups happen. But Jeongho was the first guy to ever make you feel the closest to what you ever felt for Jisung, no other could do that and you're scared no one ever will.
Hannah gets to your place about an hour after Jisung called her. She's huffing, hair messed up and puffy face.
“Were you sleeping?” You ask her and she takes a deep breath, seeing that you're okay.
“I'm going to kill that guy”, she yells out of the door to your room, “he made it seems like you were dying or something”
“If I was dying I'm pretty sure he would have taken me to the hospital”, you point out.
Hannah rolls her eyes, dropping her bag on the floor. Closing the door, she walks slowly to sit on your bed, she can clearly see that you cried a lot.
“So, did something happen?” She asks, you avoid her gaze, looking at anything but her face. You find your fingers much more interesting than any part of this conversation, actually. So you pay attention to them, playing on your lap.
“It's nothing”, you answer.
Hannah sighs, if you don't want to talk about it, it means it's bad.
“We don't have to talk about it right now”, she stretches her hand, taking yours and squeezing it. “But you will have to talk about it eventually”
It's your time to sigh now, she's right, you know that, but talking about it makes it real and you don't want it to be real.
“Jeongho broke up with me”, you rip the bandaid all at once.
Hannah gasps, she's speechless. How can this be? She thought he was head over heels for you, so why?
“His company is sending him to Europe and he doesn't want to do long distance”, you feel the tears brimming into your eyes again, voice cracking, “or take me with him”
It's the first time in her life Hannah doesn't know what to say. Your love life is such a mess, worse than hers, so she doesn't have any advice or any comfort to give you.
“Honey, I…”, she tries, but what is she supposed to say? ‘I am sorry?’, that's not it, ‘he is an asshole?’ nothing of the sort.
Looking from outside the situation, Jeongho is being logical, they still are in their honeymoon phase of the relationship, everything is perfect at that time. For most people, problems start to arise after some time. However, when you're in love, you don't want logical outputs, you want what your heart wants.
Hannah is saved by a knock on the door. Han's head pops inside the room and he observes for a moment trying to assess the situation.
“I bought some things you like”, he says, “I'll be going out, so you have the apartment all to yourselves”
He wants you to feel comfortable right now, he doesn't know exactly what happened but you're sad. Jisung knows just letting you enjoy your afternoon with Hannah in the apartment is not going to make things better for whatever is making you feel so down, but he knows you are going to feel livelier after some time with Hannah.
He goes out with Hyunjin, who's buying a present for his mother. It's hot, so if his friend didn't ask very nicely he wouldn't have accepted to go to the mall, since they have to wear hoods and masks. The fact that you're home, crying your eyes out for something he has no clue about, made him want to go out too. It hurts seeing you sad and it's even worse because he can't do anything about it, not when he doesn't know what's happening.
They are looking at bags, maybe he should get you something? You are not really a materialistic person, he's not sure if giving you an expensive present is going to help at all, maybe he should get you that webtoon print you've been talking about, they should definitely have it in the bookstore next door.
When Jisung turns around to tell Hyunjin they should stop at the bookstore, he sees Jeongho. He's looking at bags too, trying to figure out which one he should choose.
Is he giving you a gift too? Maybe he did something and you fought, that's why you were crying so much. Even remembering the way you cried as soon as you woke up makes his heart ache.
Jisung walks to Jeongho, not sure how to initiate a conversation but he feels like he should try and help in some way.
“Hey”, he says, watching Jeongho turn around and look at him.
“Jisung, how are you doing?” He asks, arms crossed in front of chest.
“Fine, are you choosing a gift for y/n?” He asks, awkwardly, “I don't think she likes purple”, he points out observing the bags Jeongho was looking at.
“It's actually for my mother”, he clears his throat, frowning, “didn't y/n tell you?”
“Tell me what?” Jisung asks, confused and Jeongho nods.
“So she didn't”, he sighs, “we broke up”, he struggles to say it.
Jisung's eyes dart directly to Jeongho's face, now he can see the eyebags on his face and how tired he looks.
“Why?” Jisung panics, you shouldn't have to go through another heartbreak.
“I don't think it's something you should know about, if she didn't tell you”, Jeongho shrugs.
“Well, can't you fix it? Whatever it is that is wrong?” He asks, carefully.
Jeongho sighs, he wishes there was something he could do about it, but he's a coward who's too afraid of taking such a big step in the beginning of a relationship.
“I’m afraid I can't”, he says, “take care of her”
Jisung is speechless, he has no idea what to do, so he just watches as Jeongho chooses a gift and walks tiredly out of the store.
Jisung arrives after killing some time outside, he was out for almost the entire day and hopes that you could enjoy a bit of your day with Hannah. He doesn't know if he should bring up his encounter with Jeongho or if he should talk about what your, now ex, boyfriend told him.
He shouldn't mention it, if you didn't tell him about it, it's because you're not ready for you to know and he gets that. Han is not sure about what he's feeling. It hurts his heart to see you in so much pain but he doesn't want to overstep the boundaries you're setting.
So when he enters the house, he sees you and Hannah watching a movie, he greets you both and goes to his room. You clearly cried more since he left and he won't be able to stay in your presence without trying to comfort you.
>><<
Things are difficult for you at the moment. Even though your love for Jeongho never got to its full potential, it's still love. You're mourning what you could have had with him had things been different, you wake up in the middle of the night and can't sleep anymore, feeling your chest hurting and remembering it's over.
It all sank in when he didn't contact you anymore, you're sure he's hurting too but you had hoped that you two could find a solution around this cruel puzzle.
“Should we go out?” Hannah asks while you're watching a drama, burying your sorrows in ice cream.
“I'm not really in the mood”, you say. You haven't cried for some time now, you're too tired, maybe your tears finally dried up.
“I know you don't feel like it”, Hannah sighs, looking at your apathetic face, worriedly, “but I think you should have some fresh air, you have been stuck in this apartment for a week now, it's not healthy”
You sigh, she's right, you know she is, but you can't really find the strength to doll up and go out.
“We don't have to go to a party or anything crowded”, she says, seeing the resigned look on your face. “We can just go to a cafe or something, anything”, she pleads.
You nod, sighing in defeat, maybe a walk can really lift your mood a bit.
Hannah jumps out of the sofa, taking the ice cream from your hands. She talks excitedly about what kind of things you two can do but can't really follow what she's saying, your head is still numb.
You walk around for a bit, looking at clothes in the stores nearby, doing just about anything to think of anything but your break up.
It's already night when you two decide to eat something, there's this restaurant that's kinda hidden so there's not many people eating when you arrive. It's not the first time you eat there, it's a nice and cozy place so you come by when you're needing a little bit of peace.
“Y/N?” You hear a familiar voice calling you, making you turn around to find Lia. She's smiling, there's a man accompanying her. “It's been a while”, she says after telling the man to look for a place for them to sit.
“Hey, yeah it does”, you smile politely. Lia can see the huge eyebags you have and the wide eyes your friend has looking at her.
“Are you alright?” She asks, noticing you barely touched your food.
“Yeah”, you lie, “what about you?” You ask, eyeing the guy who's now looking at his phone while waiting for Lia.
“I'm okay”, she smiles shyly, “it's not easy, you know? But I'm trying to move on, meet new people”
You frown, not really understanding what she's talking about.
“I hope we can still be on friendly terms even though Jisung and I are over”, Lia says, regrets immediately when she sees your eyes widen. He didn't tell you. Shit.
“I didn't know you guys were not together anymore”, Hannah is the one to talk, stealing Lia's attention from your shocked face.
“Yeah, hm, it's been a while actually. I thought he would have already told you everything by now”, she says apologetically. “Well, Han Jisung, let's say that now we are even”, she thinks.
“I should probably go!” Lia points out to the man who's staring impatiently. She waves goodbye to you and walks towards him, afraid she'll tell you something more she's not supposed to.
You find yourself in the dark, seated at the sofa, arms crossed in front of your chest. You can't believe you had to hear from someone other than Jisung about his relationship status. You're mad at him, you were making an effort so things could go back to the way they were so why isn't he acting like he wants that too?
Before, he would tell you everything about his romantic endeavors and even though it hurted, you felt special, knowing every little thing about him. Now, you feel like you know nothing, he's spending less time with you and every time you try doing anything just the two of you, he avoids it like you would jump his bones or something if you stay alone with him for more than two hours.
You may have not gotten over him completely, but you're fine now and for years you could behave yourself, so you're not sure why he's acting like that.
You hear the door being open, Han’s voice comes out in a discussion, he's on the phone. He walks in, putting his phone in his pocket while trying to find his way in the dark. He jumps at the sight of you on the sofa, staring at him with a scowl.
“Jesus christ, y/n”, he says, putting his hand above his heart, “what the hell are you doing there in the dark?”
He turns on the light, turning back at you. You're still staring at him in silence.
“Why didn't you tell me you and Lia are not together anymore?” You stand up, waiting for his answer.
“W-what?” His standing falters and he takes a step back. “How did you know?”
“Clearly I didn't find out from my best friend”, you scoff. “Did you think I would try making a move on you if you are single?”
Jisung frowns, how the hell did you get to that conclusion?
“No, I-”
“I'm sure you already figured Jeongho and I broke up”, you point out, “but you rejected me, I'm over that already”
“I can see why you would think that”, Jisung says carefully, “considering the way I acted when you confessed, but it's not that, I can assure you”
“I'm trying to have a normal relationship with you, you know, but you're just not the same. You don't spend time with me anymore, you don't talk to me about what's on your mind, the only thing I can think is that you're scared of me”
“I'm sorry I made you feel that way, I'm trying to act normally too, it's just-” Jisung cuts himself off, not sure what to say. At the same time he doesn't know what to say to make you stop thinking like that, he's not sure things will get any better if he tells you the truth.
“What's it? Just tell me so I can fix it, please I-”
“I'm in love with you”, he blurts out, hand instantly going to his chest and clenching the place above his heart. “I'm so in love with you it hurts”
You stumble back, almost falling. Did you hear it right?
“I don't think I understand”, you say, frowning, trying to make sense of his words.
“I feel terrible, I rejected you and made you suffer just for me to feel like this now?” He scoffs, “I'm sorry I made you think you are the problem again, but you're not, I am. I'm the one who can't stay close to you because I'm afraid I'll do something that will ruin our friendship”
You get up, trying to function properly after this sudden confession. Never, in your wildest dreams did you think there would come a day when Jisung would actually love you in the way you most desperately once wanted. You fantasized about it for years but you never really thought it would happen for real.
“I can't do this right now”, you say to him, seeing his shoulders slump. The sad look in your face is what he most feared. Jisung didn't expect you to still like him, but it would be a lie to say he didn't have any hope of you telling him he still has a chance.
“I don't expect you to like me back”, he says, voice cracking a bit when he tries to say the words he least want to, “I just don't want you to think I'm avoiding you because of you, it's because of me”
You nod slowly, still not fully recovered from the shock. You walk past him, not saying anything anymore, just entering your room and closing the door silently. This was definitely unexpected.
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A/N: If you like what I write please reblog or let me know in the comments, feedback give me motivation to keep writing. Also, you can buy me a coffee.
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tkaulitzlvr · 6 months
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SORRY - T. KAULITZ
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synopsis: you were drinking your sorrows away after yours and tom’s breakup, receiving unwanted attention at the random club you are at, until the last person you expected to see comes to your rescue.
content: angst + smut
a/n: again pulled this out of my ass this is becoming a very common theme LOL. this isn’t what i wanted to post but it’s been a week since i last put anything out so i threw it together, def not my best work and i feel like all i write is angst to smut whoops, hope u all enjoy anyway and thank u for 500 followers!!
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the alcohol soon takes over as i down another shot, the liquid burns my throat and only fuels my recklessness. not that i mind, in fact, it is exactly what i need. tonight i don’t want to feel - tired of the everlasting burden of my emotions. i want to be numb, nothing but an empty vessel, letting the alcohol lead the way opposed to my diseased mind. music blares through the speakers, probably loud enough to cause some serious damage to my eardrums. but i don’t know how long i have been at this club for, though it is long enough for my hearing to become accustomed to the thick bass pulsating through my body, no longer wincing whenever i would near the speakers.
intoxicated bodies encircle me whilst i make my way to the centre, some just like me - alone and drinking away their self pity. others dance with their friends, slurred giggles leaving their lips as they sloppily sway their hips to the music, covered in nothing besides their skimpy dresses. those that i envy don’t dance alone, but with a man beside them, hands on their body, faces inches apart. they are able to focus on the one person in front of them, tuning out the hundreds of people surrounding them. but, each person that i see all have one thing in common - they fit in. and i want that too, so bad, instead of feeling so misplaced - that feeling ripe within me, apparent ever since he left.
everyone knew about tom and i’s breakup, hell, how could they not? ‘germany’s biggest heartthrob - tokio hotel guitarist tom kaulitz, parts with model girlfriend after two years!’ - that’s a headline most reporters dream of, christmas having come early for them when the news came out. and it spread like wildfire, his fans - who were particularly notorious for not being entirely fond of tom finding a long term girlfriend - had hit the jackpot. they speculated, some saying that i cheated on him, some insistent on me being too controlling - others even going as far as to say i made him choose between me and the band. but when it came down to it, they were just rumours, plain and simple. no one is aware of the true reasoning behind it - only the two of us knew why we parted.
it was a mutual agreement, yet tom was the one that initiated it. the distance inevitably put between us as a result of him travelling on tours, from continent to continent, state to state, meant that we rarely saw each other, this putting stress on the both of us. i wanted us to work, more than anything, yet the way we drifted apart from each other made it impossible, being with him feeling like a chore as every small disagreement would blow way out of proportion, usually fixed by sex, the cycle repeating for the last few weeks of our relationship, until it reached breaking point. and i didn’t want to be used for my body, though i knew deep down tom loved me for more than that, fixing our problems with physical intimacy was only a temporary solution - leading to us parting ways.
that was one reason for our breakup, however the other was far more serious, and tom wasn’t even aware of it - but i had been speculating for a while. with his frequent travelling, i knew that i wasn’t the only girl in his life. how could i have been? he would go without seeing me for weeks, and whilst he had changed past his womanising ways, it would be stupidly naïve of me to think that he had moved on from that lifestyle completely. or perhaps my mind was tricking me, the loneliness i was often left to increasing the paranoia. though he had never explicitly given me the impression he was cheating, the thought always nagged in my mind, making the breakup slightly easier once he announced that we were no longer working. he promised that he still loved me, that maybe in the future things would work out, but i knew that was just a way to make our separation less bitter.
the constant articles, pictures, videos, and speculations of tom with other women each week lead me to the present, drinking my sorrows away a month after our breakup, wishing that i had never let him go despite agreeing that us parting ways would be the best solution. i was tired too, sick of fighting for a relationship that was no longer there. sometimes it felt utterly one sided, like i was the only one willing to try. tom refused to admit this, reminding me that "i know how much he loves me". however we just didn’t work anymore, his claims of our love like empty spews of desperation, but any words uttered from his beautiful mouth were words of truth to me, until i came to the soul-crushing realisation that he doesn’t adore me the way he did when we first met, all those years ago.
but god, every time i see pictures of him with a girl that isn't me, my heart wrenches at the sight, slowly tearing my insides apart as i recognise letting him go as my deepest regret. and the anger at not only myself, but him for leaving me eats me up, alcohol and temporary fixes being the only thing that can put my ill mind at ease.
but tonight tom isn’t on my mind. i’m desperate, longing for the touch of anyone who will give me the attention. that is why i left the house wearing nothing but a tight black dress that barely passed my mid-thighs. tom would never let me leave the house in such an outfit alone. he was always over-protective over me, loving the idea that I was his and only his. however he had left me, and i don’t care how promiscuous i appear, because admittedly, i am more needy than ever. my body running way ahead of my mind, i move sloppily to the rhythm of the music, feeling two hands grab my waist gently, pulling me into them as i turn around, seeing a tall-ish guy with fluffy blonde hair smirking down me.
he wasn’t tom. he could never be tom. nobody could. not a single person on this earth could even come close to him, could make me feel the way he did, both mentally and physically. right now it doesn’t matter, i don’t care who he is, because, on the surface, he is a male giving me attention, something which i have craved over this last month of loneliness.
"hi there." I utter drunkenly, slurring my words and backing further into him, the alcohol sinking more and more into my system as i no longer care who is dancing with me, this being the first time i have experienced physical touch since tom. and oh god how i’ve missed it. i’m a mess; a desperate, foolish fucking mess. if tom could see me right now, he wouldn’t recognise me. hell, i don't even know who i am anymore - in all honesty i had lost every part of what i thought i was the second he had walked out of the door. somehow, through the alcohol and attractive man behind me, tom is all my mind can focus on - his body the only clear image in there, beyond the fuzziness from the alcohol. i utterly despise the way he has such an effect on me, knowing that he has already gotten over our relationship despite the years we spent together, even before we had started dating, we had been close friends. using all the strength within me, i drown out every thought of him, attempting to enjoy the bitter-sweet freedom and get over him.
"what's your name beautiful?" the mysterious guy shouts over the crowd, tightening his grip on my waist.
"doesn’t matter." i reply. honestly, it didn’t - i probably won’t see this guy ever again, not after fucking him anyway. in any other circumstance, i would be scolding myself for giving myself up so easily, selling myself like some cheap slut. now though, i’m no longer myself, turning to face him, latching my arms around his neck. "what's yours?"
"alex." he responds, clearly not looking to make conversation, his dick appearing to be doing all the talking. "do you wanna get out of here?" he signals to the door, my head nodding eagerly in response, craving for any intimate moment no matter who it is with. part of me convinces myself that i am with tom, that it is him i am leaving the club with, as i would every single time. i imagine that it is him holding me with such adoration, that it is him soothing me in every way possible, yet i know that he is never coming back.
my body pushes its way through the crowd, uttering broken excuse me’s as i walk by, legs becoming weaker by the second as my vision slowly blurs. i soon pick up on the reality of the situation, disgust and shame echoing within me as i realise how fucked up my mind truly is. i am about to have sex with a guy who I have never met before - whether or not tom had broken my heart, i deserved to have morals. the rationality ticking in by the second, i roughly pull out of alex's grasp, his tall frame turning around in confusion.
"i- i have to get to my friends." i lie, totally aware that i came here alone, my words barely audible as my breathing becomes uneven.
"no, come with me, don't be like this baby." he smiles, pulling me along with him, tears soon clouding my vision as the chances of me escaping the situation seem to slip through my fingers before i can gather any sense of what is happening.
"let me go!" i muster all the courage and strength within me and yank my arm away, stumbling backwards into the cold brick wall behind me, the harshness causing me to shiver as i bite the inside of my mouth, praying for something, anything, to take me out of this situation. alex nears towards me, our faces inches apart as he towers over me, my body weak and defenceless against his.
"stop being such a bratty fucking bitch and just come with me-" he begins, grabbing ahold of my arm, only to be pushed to the floor in a matter of seconds, my head looking upwards in confusion to be met with a face i dreaded and longed to see at the same time.
"fuck off!" tom begins, squaring up to alex, who is useless against him, the height difference almost humorous. if i hadn’t been scared for my life seconds prior, i probably would’ve laughed, though the only thing i am truly able to process is the confusion that soon replaces any fear within me. "you ever go near my girl again and i'll break your fucking jaw. you understand, hm?" he shouts, alex smiling to himself and walking away, clearly not looking for a fight, though his cold glare moments ago said otherwise. his girl. i am everything but, closer to being the complete opposite, though i am too startled to consider questioning his words right now.
my body refuses to move, paralysed in utter shock, wondering whether the alcohol is causing me to hallucinate. i hadn’t seen tom since the day i moved out of his house, and now he is standing in front of me. and fuck, he looks good. it doesn’t matter that it has only been a month, somehow he seems to look much better, and undeniably different. his hair, usually a dark shade of blonde, the thick locks tied into a ponytail, adorned with whatever cap matched his outfit, is changed, almost so drastically it is hard to recognise him. instead, jet black braids rest on his shoulders, the colour mirroring his entire outfit - dark and cold. his cap is replaced with a small bandana, fitted securely around his forehead, the silver piercing on his lips now just as dark as his hair, matte black, making the soft shade of pink on his lips stand out even more.
though his new look is certainly a shock, the more daunting realisation comes merely from his presence. he is here - standing inches away from me. i am unable to gauge his next move, his expression still just as harsh as it had been once he had threatened that guy. however, any doubts i have are quickly put to bed, his tensed frame nearing mine, planting a calloused hand on my shoulder before pulling me into a tight hug, his thumb caressing my lower back whilst his other hand rests in my hair. i sob into his chest, failing pathetically to hide my emotions as i cling on to him, my small frame shaking due to the cold berlin weather and my irrational state.
"i’m so sorry." he mutters, resting his head on top of mine. i cannot respond, choking on my tears and unable to do anything but hold onto him as if he may slip away. my vision is slowly blurring, the countless drinks i had making their appearance as i realise how badly i have fucked up by coming here. beyond my intoxicated state, i realise that i don’t want to be this close to tom. i long to scream at the top of my lungs, something about how he made me feel, how fucked up he is, and how much i hate him, but right now i am too shaken to even stand up alone, so i save my breath and prepare to spew my feelings out when i have the energy.
"we need to get you home." he mutters, pulling away after a couple minutes. i stare into his eyes for the first time since we broke up, his immediately filling with hurt once he registers my damaged expression. "god, this is all my fault." he whispers under his breath, guiding me to his car, grabbing his jacket that he always kept in the back for instances like this, knowing that i get cold easily. it brings me some comfort knowing that he kept the jacket there, though it probably means nothing. he places it gently over my shivering frame before climbing into the driver’s side and beginning to drive to my apartment. the house that tom and i shared was in his name, meaning that i insisted on moving out. despite us breaking up, he helped me find a place, a decent sized two bedroom apartment in the heart of berlin. though it wasn't nearly as perfect as our home, it was something, and i am grateful for it.
i face away from him, not willing to forgive him despite my vulnerable state just moments before. no matter how much he protected me just then, i can’t place my trust in him, my heart and mind still wary, the thought of him discarding me for other girls so nonchalantly after we parted fresh in my mind.
"i missed you." he announces into the empty silence, his head turning in my direction whilst i scoff in response. "don't lie to me tom." his words bring anger coursing through my veins the second they utter from his mouth, sobriety soon taking over me as the alcohol quickly wares off. if he missed me, he wouldn't have fucked every girl he has seen this past month, he would have come back, or better yet, he wouldn’t have left me in the first place.
"i'm telling the truth." he begins, hesitantly turning his gaze to meet mine, my eyes filling with tears before i can attempt to collect my composure. "i regret leaving you. i need you to-"
"do you have any fucking idea what you did to me? i haven't been eating, sleeping, you've just seen me almost have sex with a guy i'd barely known for five minutes for gods sake!" i shout, my voice breaking as the tears cascade inevitably down my cheeks, unable to hide my vulnerability in this moment. he winces slightly at the mention of me nearly sleeping with alex, his grip on the wheel increasing whilst his jaw is clenched.
he is hurt. i have known him long enough to be able to distinguish how he is feeling without him saying a word. the pained look on his face almost pleases me, glad to see him guilty over the emotional turmoil he has caused me, because i long for him to grasp even a small segment of how i feel, and my small outburst has definitely achieved that.
"i’m sorry. i never deserved you, now even less than ever. i fucked up, badly. i have no idea how to make it up to you. help me, please schatz. i want to be better, for you." he finishes, pulling into his driveway as the dark grey gates open, revealing the house that i share so many memories in, yet it feels strangely foreign, like i don’t belong here, and i never did.
"sure doesn't seem like it." i begin. "from everything i've seen online you seem to have gotten over me pretty fast. thought you were better than meaningless sex, but i guess not. same old tom." i scoff, shaking my head in disbelief of his empty words.
"what are you talking about? i haven't had sex with anyone. not since you anyway." he fires back, staring into my eyes, and for some reason, i don't think he is lying, the amount of time spent with him across my life meaning i can read him like a book.
"whatever, i don’t have the fucking energy for this. besides, you said you were taking my home. this isn’t my house anymore, incase you fucking forgot.” i state matter-of-factly, not in the mood for continuing this conversation, or even being around him.
"you can barely walk. no way was i leaving you to go home alone. you can spend the night here." he replies assertively, stepping out of the car as i do the same, slamming the door shut in frustration.
"you don't have to protect me tom. we aren't together anymore." i respond bitterly, looking down at the ground, wishing it would swallow me up. his hand gently grazes mine, testing his limits as he attempts to take his hand in mine, to which i quickly refuse, pulling away and looking at him in confusion.
"what are you doing?" i hiss, looking upwards as he puts his hands up, surrendering.
"sorry just, please come inside, you're freezing in that tiny dress." not having the energy to argue, i reluctantly sigh, following him inside, taking in the all too familiar surroundings and immediately reminiscing on all the memories i have here, longing to go back to the time when things weren't so complicated.
"look i-" tom begins, however his words are soon shortened to a stop as i quickly cut him off, lethargic and carrying a lack of effort to argue with him, because i know that no matter how long i let him speak, the conversation will only end badly, turning even more sour than it already is right now.
"i'm tired, please can we talk about this in the morning." i sigh, my head pounding as i groan out in pain, massaging my temples slowly and closing my eyes.
"okay, you take our- my bed and i'll sleep in the guest room. there's some of my hoodies in there for you to sleep in." he responds, a look of defeat evident among his complexion, relief coursing through me as i nod my head, walking up to his bedroom. the countless nights i spent in this room, wrapped in his arms, the countless mornings i woke up to his affection, the countless evenings we shared intimate moments all seem to be lost as i feel a stranger here, almost misplaced without a sense of belonging.
i open the wardrobe, immediately knowing which door has his hoodies from when i would often steal one, something he is used to me doing. i pick out my favourite one. it is simple - a white hoodie with writing printed across its front. to others, it holds little meaning, however even after our breakup, it holds thousands of memories, because it is what he wore when we had our first kiss, and the first piece of clothing he ever gave me, this small act something i won’t ever be able to forget. slipping my dress off and the hoodie over my head, his scent quickly envelops me, providing with all the security i have been longing for, my mind quickly breaking down as tears cloud my vision, my desire to have him holding me taking over as i wish that we would have never parted.
climbing into the soft sheets, i attempt to fall asleep, any element of lethargy in my body fading away as i crave to be in tom’s arms like i have been each time i have laid in this bed. his side is cold and empty, my body shuffling over to it as i snuggle into his pillow, reaching out pathetically to any remnant of him i have left. seconds feel like hours of me thinking of him, wondering if he cares anywhere close to the extent that i do, finding myself longing to take a small look inside his mind, because all i want is his love. the darkness encloses me, silence echoing throughout the empty house and only fuelling my wandering mind. every thought flashes back to him, and i loathe how he can consume my entire being without even being aware of the effect he has on me.
eventually, my eyes begin to droop, almost falling into a somewhat peaceful slumber, however before i can do so, the door creaks open, light from the hallway leaking into the bedroom, before it is cast out seconds later with the soft click of the door closing, footsteps nearing the bed as i feel it dip beside me. my body is afraid to move, instead laying still in confusion until i feel a single hand brush against my shoulder, causing me to whip my head around, tom’s eyes gazing into mine.
‘i can't do it." he mutters, scanning my eyes with his own, only the seas of brown are filled with sorrow, slightly distinguishable through the darkness.
as much as i want to tell him to leave, to scold him for disturbing me when i was finally close to falling asleep, i simply can’t. i am compelled to him, silently thanking his impulsiveness and finding myself pleading for us to work things out.
"can't do what?" i respond, laying on my side and facing him, our bodies at each side of the bed as he is slightly reluctant to push my boundaries.
"live without you, i can't do it. i need you." he replies, slowly reaching his hand out until it meets mine, his fingers clasping mine in the centre of the bed, this small act of physical affection being the only thing that binds us together, yet it is more than enough.
"you broke me tom." i whisper, blinking away the tears as i refuse to cry again, tired of being so vulnerable around him. “do you realise that?”
"i know, and i’m so sorry schatz. i’ll never be able to make that up to you. but i want to try, can you let me do that? please baby." his body slowly nears mine, until our faces are inches apart. he removes his hand from mine, my face falling in disappointment, however this quickly turns into curiosity as it moves only to reach up and caress my cheek, wiping the single tear that had fallen with his thumb. i wither helplessly into his touch, feeling completely and utterly trapped within his affection. i am bound to him, left hopeless and attached. no matter how much i try fight, it is useless, my body and my mind is unable to function without him.
"it’s only you schatz." he mutters, his face nearing mine as he captures my lips in a sweet kiss, the first one we have shared in over a month. the way his lips fit so perfectly with mine, their softness contrasting with the harshness he showed me all those weeks ago, makes me wonder how i managed to live without this feeling all this time. he is a drug, his kisses addictive as i find myself longing for more, desperate to make up for the lost intimacy as a result of our separation.
"i love you." he whispers against my lips, reattaching them almost immediately with even more desire than before, sealing every unspoken apology in the most beautiful way possible. the darkness between us is a barrier, preventing my vision from witnessing the man above me. tom reaches quickly to flip the bedside lamp on, faded yellow light leaking dimly around the room, illuminating his features as i can finally see every part of him. and oh god, is he perfect. his lips plump and parted, tinted with a rosy shade of pink, adorned with that same piercing that drives me crazy each and every time, tired and shaky breaths erupting from them whilst i stare into his eyes, deep pools of brown that i could get lost in if i look for too long.
his body. crafted by god himself - concrete proof that he really does have favourites. each inch of skin soft and sheen, resembling silk itself whilst my fingers slowly trail down it, melting into the pale surface , past his chest to his chiselled abs, gently grazing the muscle and refusing to break eye contact. my hand creeps lower and lower, tom becoming increasingly flustered until they reach the waistband of his boxers. at an agonisingly slow pace, my finger slips inside, fiddling with the waistband whilst touching the skin there, refusing to move my hand any lower whilst i take in tom’s expression. his eyes are flickering between being fully closed and half-lidded, barely noticeable wrinkles lining his forehead as his eyebrows knit together, lips parted with shaky breaths uttering from them, the cold air fanning onto my face, heavy against his warm kiss.
"fuck- please don't tease." he whispers, resting his forehead against mine and beginning to slowly kiss my lips once again, my body feeling full again as i soon realise how much i missed this feeling. complying with his plea, my hand slips further into his boxers, a choked breath muffling into my mouth as i begin to gently move my hand up and down. he struggles to kiss back, soft moans escaping from his lips and mixing into mine in the most delightful way possible as i pick up the pace.
"oh my god..." he trails off, his voice vibrating into the soft skin below my ear once his head falls just below it, my movements not slowing, the slight whines emitting from his mouth pushing me further, desperate to please him. the fast and sloppy kisses being placed onto my neck soon slow down, giving me the signal that he is close. he clutches onto my waist, his fingers running up and down whilst his legs slightly tremble, his release taking over as he lets out a loud groan, a string of curses following until he slips his boxers off, regaining his composure and climbing fully on top of me.
our faces are inches apart, my ragged breathing echoing my desperation to feel him inside me, because it has been so long since i have experienced the feeling, and it is like no other. his thumb runs along my lips, pulling the bottom one downward slowly and releasing it, before moving his head to the nape of my neck, placing slow and gentle kisses.
"you have no idea what i want to do to you schatz." he mutters against my skin, nipping at it gently, these words alone almost being enough to let go, to lose any remnant of composure i have and allow him to take me right there and then. his calloused hands reach for the large hoodie draped over my frame, pulling it over my head as i am almost completely naked, my underwear being the only barrier between us and exercising those silent promises of our love on the tips of our tongues.
"so perfect." he whispers, caressing my cheek lightly. pressing himself against me, his hand reaches to caress my now exposed breast, kissing and biting at any skin he can get access to, inaudible spews of satisfaction swallowing the silence surrounding us, my hands pushing his head further downwards ever so slightly, savouring the pleasure and wishing it would last forever. he slowly pulls away, maintaining eye contact as he reaches for my panties, swiftly tugging them downward and discarding them somewhere across the room, like the rest of our clothing.
skin to skin, the warm and bare air a mirror to our nakedness, we kiss with such hunger, such desire that our need for each other is palpable, so strong that i swear if i tried, i could feel it. because he is that love, his body living and breathing evidence that this love is real, not something that can only be felt inside, though the fire that his touch ignites within me is one that will burn forever, as long as he vows to supply the heat that is his affection. my hands clutch onto his back, his roaming my waist and pushing our hips into each other, ragged breaths echoing throughout the room as i find myself becoming too impatient. although part of me wants to savour this moment as it is our first special one in over a month, one part of me, the more irrational side, wants him to ruin me, wants him to claim me as his own and do whatever his heart desires. i am his to destroy, because if it means that i can be with him for eternity, then i am willing to do anything.
"tom…i need you." i whisper helplessly against his lips, no longer able to mask my hunger.
he places one final kiss to my lips, stroking my hair gently and positioning himself to my entrance. my eyes squeeze shut in anticipation, relishing this feeling and preparing for the intense pleasure that i have been so empty without.
“then i’m all yours.” he speaks softly, sliding into me slowly before i am able to repeat my desperate plea. because if i tried, i know that my speech would be inaudible, struggling to breathe at the feeling of him filling me up.
unaccustomed to his size, or any dick for the last month, i wince in pain before he is even halfway in, gripping his bicep and giving him the signal to stop. "wait a minute." i state breathlessly, biting down on my lip as he stops his motion, gently stroking my cheek with his palm and awaiting my permission to carry on. feeling him stretch my walls fills the hole within me, once hollow and empty, however the pain takes longer to subside, tom slowly biting and kissing the sensitive skin on my jaw whilst he waits.
"c’mon baby, you can take it." he mumbles against me, the raspiness within his voice vibrating up my spine, motivating me to tune out the pain and allow him to pleasure me. "okay." i whisper, pleasure soon starting to take over as he moves into me, stopping and throwing his head back as he bottoms out, his tip hitting my g-spot perfectly, this being enough for me to cry out, my screams echoing throughout the room, the air thick with passion. his eyes are screwed shut, sweat lining along his forehead, his breathing ragged and uneven, yet he only increases his stamina, picking my leg up and placing it over his shoulder.
the new angle sends me into euphoria, my vision turning white as i can do nothing but scream his name, my fingers raking down his back. he memorises the way he hits my g-spot, doing it over and over again, bringing me closer to my release, yet i can tell he is not there yet, prompting me to hold it so i can share my high with him.
"fuck me..." his voice trails off, his eyebrows furrowing as he savours the pleasure. my legs wrap around his waist, bringing him closer inwards, if that is physically possible. somehow he is still going, not showing any signs of lethargy. he is desperate to meet his release, hips snapping against mine with such intensity, his head buried in the crook of my neck, the incoherent groans escaping from his mouth fanning over the bare skin, sending shivers down my spine.
"tom i'm so close!" i moan, knowing that i will not last much longer. i do not know if it is the absence of sexual intimacy in my life recently, or my intense desire for him, but this time around, my ability to contain myself is long gone.
"i know baby, i know..." he sighs out, the feeling him twitching inside of me silently letting me know that he is almost there too. "just hold it for me." overstimulation soon takes over, the feeling of him moving in and out of me providing me with such overwhelming pleasure that my mouth gapes open, no sound escaping as i am utterly speechless, drunk on the sensation and a complete mess beneath him. i could cry at the feeling, on the verge of tears with each stroke, wondering how this moment is reality, seeming entirely too good to be true.
"okay baby, let go." he breathes out, his voice shaky as it is soon cut off with a choked moan, his load shooting into me as mine soon follows. i swear i can see stars, my eyes not able to stay still, my whole body the same as it trembles uncontrollably, tom’s slow and steady thrusts sending me into oblivion as he rides out our highs, his lips hovering over mine. "oh my god" is all he can say, still inside me, his mouth eventually moulding with mine, the kiss filled with so much energy despite the amount of stamina that was used just seconds before.
i am not done yet, my body feeling like it has just started as i have the motivation to go one thousands times over, addicted to the way he feels. "let me be on top." i mutter against his lips, the pillowy skin battling to try continue kissing me. in one swift motion, he flips us over, moving upwards so that his back is resting against the headboard, his hands placed steadily on my waist whilst i sit on top of him. i waste no time, hovering over him and sliding downwards, letting him fill me up and sighing loudly as i do, tom tightening his hold on me and muttering a slow ‘jesus christ’, his voice low, words as sweet as honey as they sound from the back of his throat.
pressing open mouthed kisses against my jaw, neck, collarbone, anywhere he is able to access, he groans out in pleasure, his hands remaining steadily on my hips whilst i easily maintain my rhythm. with a slight change in the movement of my hips, his tip presses against my g-spot, the friction causing me to cry out, him doing the same as his head falls backwards, eyes squeezing shut, savouring the ecstasy. my hands lay flat against his chest, watching it heave up and down with each unsteady breath he takes, his muscles flexing with each squeeze of my waist, this only encouraging me to go further, the sight of him being pleasured by me almost pushing me to my release alone.
the feeling so good i question whether i have reached heaven itself, though my actions won’t get me anywhere near, my mind wanders how i survived for so long without him, without his dick inside me, without his hands on mine - because right now he is my oxygen, my sole purpose. i can barely catch my breath, my legs shaking uncontrollably whilst my hips circle around his, feeling every inch of him inside of me. my body leans forward, skin to skin, as i bite down on his shoulder, becoming increasingly tired, however i am so desperate for my release that i continue my slow and lethargic movements.
tom is quick to pick up on my change in speed, grabbing my hips once again and angling himself correctly, before thrusting into me from below, the sudden pressure causing a throaty moan to escape from my swollen lips.
"fuck…missed this, missed you so much baby." he mutters, his whole body tensing for a second whilst he begins to twitch inside of me.
"i’m close." he groans, meeting my lips in a sloppy kiss before i can respond. i don’t even bother trying to hold it, instead allowing my release to take over me, my vision turning white as i cling onto tom’s shoulders, my head buried in the crook of his neck, crying out in pleasure as it is so intense i almost feel myself slip away. his release soon follows, mouth gaping open, eyebrows furrowing and sweat glistening his chiselled frame, outlining his muscle in the most attractive way possible. he still strokes in and out of me slowly, his hands wrapped around my small frame, no space between us. my breathing ragged, hair a mess and body trembling, i pull away from his shoulder to look into his eyes, pressing my forehead against his as i can do nothing but admire him.
“shit- i love you so much." he manages to breathe out, moving a few stray hairs from my face and planting a last kiss on my forehead, slowly pulling out of me, the loss of contact making me whine slightly as i cling onto him, afraid of losing him ever again.
"i love you too." i respond, certainty uttering from every word as i find myself more in love with him, the best sex we have ever had replaying over and over again in my memory, our naked bodies pressed together.
"i promise you, i never slept with anyone else. i never even kissed another girl. i couldn't, it wouldn't have been right, not when you were the only person on my mind." he speaks slowly yet firmly after a few seconds of peaceful silence, pulling my body further onto his as he rests his forehead against mine, stroking my hair gently.
i move my head upwards, my eyebrows furrowing in confusion. "why not? there's so many girls that you could've had. what was stopping you?" i ask, lacing my hand with his and beginning to play with his fingers, the skin soft and smooth.
"the fact that they weren't you." he responds, gently lifting my chin upwards with his pointer finger, tenderly running his thumb along my cheek. "i never got over you. i hope you know that."
deciding that actions speak louder than words in this instance, i place my lips on his, sealing our love with a sweet kiss as he instantly kisses back, laying downwards flat against the bed whilst i am still on top of him. i slowly pull away, my entire body aching, eyes fluttering shut as a tired yawn escapes from my mouth. tom reaches over to turn the lamp off, laying down beside me and opening his arms out, my head resting on his chest, his thumb running comfortingly up and down my arm. "goodnight meine liebe." he whispers, my throat sore from our rendezvous, so i place a quick kiss on his chest in response, my eyes falling shut as sleep takes me. our legs entangled, bodies together, heartbeats aligned, i feel him now more than ever. not just physically, but i feel him mentally, spiritually, our mind and being merged together as one.
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requests are open! keep sending them in!!
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fuckmyskywalker · 4 months
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❄️ 𝐃𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝟐𝟐𝐧𝐝 : 𝐁𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐜𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐁𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐬 - 𝐒𝐚𝐦 𝐌𝐨𝐧𝐫𝐨𝐞.
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— CW: 18+. Smut. Oral (f). Masturbation. Brief vaginal penetration. Creampie. Exhibitionism. | Word Count: 0.8k
— a/n: I'm finally free and I'm no longer sick! I'll catch up with the 23 and upload 24 <3. Kissies and sorry for the inconvenience!
— Anyafest 2023 + Taglist!
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When Sam invited you to spend Christmas with his mom’s side of the family, you clearly weren’t expecting to be dragged behind the tall, leafy Christmas tree; the bright colorful lights bathed your face, highlighting the confused expression on your flushed cheeks. “What are you doing?” You whisper at your boyfriend, looking between the thick branches, making sure his mother or his aunts are still chatting in the kitchen.
Sam pushes you against the wall, his hip brushing against the tree and making some ornaments jingle softly. “I want to fuck you,” He states simply as if it was obvious— it kind of was. “It’s so stupid my mom is making us sleep in separate rooms.”
“We can’t fuck in the living room!”
“Where there’s a will, there’s a way.”
Smashing his lips against yours, Sam slides his cold hands under your loose T-shirt, cupping your breasts and squeezing them. His erection rubs against your thigh, barely concealed by those ridiculous red checkered pajama pants his mother bought for everyone to wear… including you. His thumbs circle your nipples as he drinks your moans with harsh, demanding kisses. With your palms against his shoulders, you try to push him away to protest a little more, but it seems that he has other plans; one hand releases your chest, yanks the waistband of your pants down, bringing your underwear with them. “You better be quiet,” He threatens you before kneeling and burying his face between your legs.
His tongue traces your folds before using his thumbs to spread them. Licking his lips, Sam runs his tongue flat over your clit, flicking it repeatedly. The thrill of doing it behind the goddamned Christmas tree is making your head go dizzy, you should be ashamed, have an ounce of respect for his family… but right now you can’t seem to care when your boyfriend is sucking your clit with equal need. He wasn’t lying when he said he wanted to fuck you. Your hand reaches for his dark locks, tugging at them to grind against his face eliciting a quiet laugh from him, his hot breath hitting your cunt in a way that sends shivers from your head to your toes. 
“You taste like a whole fucking meal,” He mumbles, returning his tongue to your swollen nub and torturing you a little more. “This pussy is just perfect.”
Staying quiet becomes quite the challenge when you lower your eyes, no longer focusing on the white ceiling, just in time for Sam to pull his pajama and wrap a hand around his throbbing member, smearing the precum that trickled down the tip. 
“Sam—” You choke, furrowing your brows when his tongue slides in. Stroking himself quickly, Sam’s hips rock back and forth, seeking his own release while hurrying yours. The heartbeat ringing loudly in your ears mutes the laughs from the kitchen, his family being the least of your problems now.
The flick of his wrist speeds up as he returns his mouth around your clit, stimulating it until you are sure you are touching heaven itself— you are so close to coming, maybe it is from the adrenaline, the high risk of getting caught, or to be fair, Sam’s skilled tongue can be doing the trick. 
“I’m gonna come, don’t stop—” He nods at your words, slowing his pleasure to only focus on yours until it happens. Biting your lower lip, your climax hits you like a strong electric wave that lasts longer than you expected. The world spins around you, your mind drowned with the ecstasy and oxytocin that burns in your fingertips. 
“That’s it, dolly,” Sam whispers hotly, panting and already sweaty. Standing up, he guides his cock between your slick folds, pushing it and stretching you in a swift motion. “Shh, it’s okay— I’ll just come inside to save us the mess. Be quiet.” He says, thrusting quickly and fast before he grunts and presses his forehead against yours. His eyebrow twitches as his cock mimics it in rapid jerks, shooting his load deep inside you. You hold him, savoring the small intimate moment and humming at the familiar feeling of his cock filling you up. 
“You are insane.” You laugh, catching your breath— when you hear footsteps coming from the kitchen.
Sam’s eyes widen and he quickly presses his body flush against yours, holding his breath as his face presses next to yours. Thank fucking God the tree is tall and wide enough and covered in decorations to cover you both. You side-eye him with a terrified expression, if his mother finds you two… you can’t even imagine the embarrassment. 
Robin calls your name followed by Sam’s. No answer. She calls again, this time louder. Your heart stops beating for a second or at least it feels like. You two are screwed. 
“Leave them alone,” Sam’s grandma yells from the kitchen and you have never been more thankful. “Come back and help me with the turkey.”
Reluctantly, Robin looks around the living room and grabs the TV remote, the forgotten movie you and Sam were watching no longer concealing the noises you two made. She walks away, replying something to her mother you can’t quite catch. Sam exhales, relieved that he dodged the bullet.
“Sorry,” He chuckles, kissing your cheek. “I promise it won’t happen again.”
But it’s a lie, you know it will happen again.
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— ❄️ Taglist! : @offthethirlwall | @pockcock | @shellxrls | @anisdoll | @wifeofasith | @anakinsgirlfriendreal | @anisgurll | @mortalheartache | @arzua10 | @haydensgirlaela | @bimbo-baggins86 | @https-luvaviva | @bunnylovesani | @glazelilies | @slvttedoutmars
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maya1525 · 6 months
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Drunk Sex
18+ MDNI
Pairing✩࿐Fem!Reader X Yuji Itadori / Ryomen Sukuna & Totality
WARNINGS✩࿐Fem!Reader Receiving and giving oral, cream pie, blood, biting, monster/curse sex, alcohol use, drunk sex, rough sex, knotting. Fem!Reader gets fucked by a Shikigami if you’re not into monster stuff don’t read. I made an alternative part 3, without monster stuff if you’d rather read that one!
Word count✩࿐6.9K
BONUS✩࿐Sex in front of a mirror and some aftercare.
Summary✩࿐This is part 3 to my jjk series. Reading part 1 and part 2, isn’t necessary, but it is appreciate. Fem!Reader is at Yuji’s house party and Itadori can’t keep his feelings toward the reader bottled up any longer. Sukuna ends up taking over Yuji’s body part way through the ordeal and things get a little interesting; especially when Megumi’s Shikigami shows an interest towards the reader too.
A/N✩࿐Sorry for the long wait, I’ve been going through some pretty lame family problems. When Sukuna is speaking in Yuji’s head I highlighted his words in red and Yuji’s responses in pink. I hope you enjoy this fic. <3
Your head felt like it was spinning as you tried to focus your vision on the pong table right in front of you. You’ve lost count of how many drinks you’ve had and you’re certainly too gone to ask for another. The cups on the other side of the table looked as if they were shifting. You knew it was the liquor in your system that was responsible for your impaired vision. You tossed the small ping pong ball towards the end of the table and made the shot by sheer luck.
“Woah, nice job!” Yuji smiled up at you in a drunk haze. The both of you decided to go one on one in pong, while everyone else was preoccupied. It was still early in the night since Yuji’s house party started around six. Megumi was in a heated discussion with Kamo while Yuuta ended up passing out on the couch. Your poor sweet Yuuta was the biggest lightweight at the party. Toge sat next to his sleeping friend while Todo was showing off his taste in music on the TV. Maki and Nobara sat on the bar stools next to the island, gossiping heavily. You could sense their slightly envious stares occasionally. Whenever you found the courage to talk to them, they sounded condescending towards you. So you decided early on to straight up ignore them and just focus on having a good time.
“Ok just watch this awesome trick shot I can do!” Yuji said excitedly as he tossed the ball upward and then punched it toward the cups. You could sense cursed energy coming from his fist as he pummeled the ball. The white plastic ball rocketed toward the red solo cups at record speed, knocking two of them over in the process. Water sprayed all over the table and onto your cute outfit. Thankfully the loud music in the room didn’t alert anyone of what just happened. No one except Yuji noticed. “Oh shit! I’m so sorry Y/n!” He ran over and helped you pick the cups off the floor.
Your wet clothes didn’t bother you, it shocked you at first but because of our drunk stupor, you got used to it right away. “It’s ok, it’s just water.” You smiled up at him, but his concern was still prominent.
“Here, come with me. I’ll help you dry off.” He took your hand and guided you up the carpeted stairs. No one saw the both of you depart; the pong table sat in the corner of the living room at the base of the stairs. Upstairs were the guys' bedrooms, while downstairs they had a shared living room and kitchen. You had a similar setup for your apartment. Except your bedroom was the only one downstairs next to the kitchen.
You felt grateful that the girls didn’t notice your soaked outfit, that would’ve been tremendously embarrassing. The both of you clung to each other as you climbed the strenuous stairs. Yuji led you to his bedroom and then to his bathroom. The both of you hung onto each other’s hands tightly as you stumbled into his pitch-black bedroom. He flickered on his bathroom's light. “Here, use my towel. I’ll get you a dry change of clothes.” He handed you his dark blue towel and quickly turned the corner back to his room. He ran into the door frame in the process. “Shit, there’s a wall there.” He laughed, making you giggle.
You eyed yourself in his mirror, your cheeks were a little flushed from being drunk, but other than that you looked hot! Despite being wet with water. You struggled to pull your shirt over your head because (you were heavily intoxicated) and your shirt was a tight-fitting black crop top. You stumbled backward and bumped into the wall behind you, a struggling whimper escaped from your lips. You managed to get the fabric over your head but your left arm was a little stuck. You panicked and tried to pull your arm out roughly, but you heard your fabric make a few threatening sounds tearing so you paused, not wanting to rip your cute shirt.
When Itadori entered the bathroom he was greeted by the sight of your plump breasts wiggling around as you struggled to get your shirt off. Your face was covered so you didn’t know he stopped and stared briefly. “Here, let me help you.”
You heard Yuji from somewhere nearby, “Oh, thank you.” You muffled out, as you felt his hot hands on your back. Goosebumps immediately ran all over your body, from being cold and wet. He gingerly removed the article of stubborn clothing, tossing it to the floor. He was so close to you, he gulped nervously. You looked into his sweet brown eyes with a kind smile on your pretty face, “Thanks for that, I was s-struggling.” You slurred and shivered at the same time.
Yuji’s mind was racing. When he was sober, he couldn’t stop thinking about you. It drove him up a wall what a freak you secretly were. He couldn’t stop thinking about seeing your petite body getting railed by his friends on their couch. He felt so envious of his friends and Gojo; being fortunate enough to enjoy you inside and out. It wasn’t just your physical appearance that allured him, but your adorable and kind personality too. You acted like your sweet and innocent self whenever you were near him.
Itadori could tell how easy it was for his friends to fall for you and he too was slipping down that slope. It was difficult to ignore those feelings he had for you, especially when Sukuna craved you just as badly. Whenever you were near him, he’d hear Ryomen’s dark voice ring out in his head for Yuji to make a move or let him take over. Even during this moment, Yuji heard Sukuna pestering him.
Let me out! Are you going to make a move or what? Sukuna spat irritably. You’re such a coward.
Your jaw quivered from the cold, but because you weren’t sober you didn’t feel cold at all. It’s as if the outside of your body is on autopilot. You could sense the heavy sexual tension coming from your friend. Even though you acted like everything was normal; when you two were together, you’d notice a longing in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Or how his friendly touches became more intimate without meaning to be. The way his sweet eyes were staring at you now, you could tell he was burning up.
Without intending it, Yuji had you cornered against the wall while he was a few inches away from your half-naked body. “Y/n...” He trailed off as the liquor got the best of him. He pulled you into his chest without thinking. A surprised squeak left your mouth at your friend's bold action. He lowered his face so it was closer to yours, “Can I kiss you?” He blushed, while the look in his eyes was so needy and desperate.
Without answering or thinking, you tentatively brought your smooth lips to his to share your first kiss with Itadori. His grip on you tightened, and his lips moved against yours eagerly. Your head was spinning, and you couldn’t believe that this was happening. Lost in passion you tangled your fingers in Yuji’s pink locks, tugging gently - causing a gasp of excitement to come from his lips and into your mouth. You felt arousal overcome you like a massive tsunami wave, you wanted to know what sex would feel like with your friend. Or so-called friend.
Itadori felt ecstatic, it was finally happening! He felt a little ashamed that this was happening while you both were heavily intoxicated; would you kiss him if he was sober? The way you pulled his hair and kissed him back hungrily gave him hope that you would want to.
He lowered his hot mouth to your overly sensitive neck, as he pressed you against the bathroom door now. Shutting it in the process. He lightly teased his tongue down your neck, making you whine, “Itdadori…” his hot tongue caused a wave of intense shivers to wake on your skin. Your needy core clenched with desire. All while Yuji gently licked and kissed the crook of your neck, Sukuna was driving him crazy.
Let me out! I want to fuck her now!
Shut up dammit. Let me enjoy this.
He ghosted his fingers up your torso and to your breasts, delicately rubbing them. Earning a small gasp to come from you. He then sneakily stuck his hands underneath your bra to tease your nipple. Something hot and wet enveloped your breast completely. It felt like a mouth! This sensation both shocked and turned you on at the same time, you instinctively arched your back in pleasure “Yuji!” You gasped as you felt the mouth on his hand suck your nipple roughly.
The mouth gave you a small bite, “no sweetheart, it’s Sukuna.” Said a dark voice from under your bra. Yuji pulled his hand out to look at it with frustration, and you saw a mouth had visibly formed on his palm. The teeth that Sukuna had were fang-like. “Sorry about him.” Yuji sighed in a defeated tone.
“It’s ok.” You blushed, “I don’t mind him at all.”
“You hear that! She wants me, just let me have here already-“ Yuji slapped his normal hand over his palm with a pink tint of embarrassment on his cheeks. You leaned forward with a reassuring smile and pulled Itadori in for a passionate kiss. He gladly accepted and he darted his tongue into your hot mouth to explore it. As the both of you frenched feverishly, you cautiously grabbed Yuji’s wrist and guided his hand to your soaked skinny jeans. “Touch me.” You whispered against his lips.
Itadori felt like his heart was beating a hundred miles per minute, he craved you so badly. He wanted you to scream his name and become a wet little slut just for him. He hastily undid your jeans and pulled them down your smooth legs. You struggled to step out of your pants, you giggled as you clung to Yuji’s broad shoulders for balance. He smiled at you playfully and bent down to his knees to help you out. He couldn’t help but stop and stare at your sexy black lace underwear. Without thinking he removed that skimpy piece of fabric. He wondered if his friends also helped remove these panties from you. He felt proud to be a part of the club. Your pussy looked so appetizing to Itadori, he enthusiastically flung your thigh over his muscular shoulder and shoved his face to your core. His slick tongue swiped over your folds teasingly. “Mmh.” You whined desperately, thrusting your hips closer to his eager mouth. He latched down on your clit and sucked your sensitive bundle of nerves. You felt him bring two fingers to your wet entrance and slowly insert them. They immediately came in contact with your G-spot, making you cry out pleasurably.
Suddenly Itadori’s fingers transformed into something larger and bulbous, he pulled his face away from your leaking cunt with confusion and slowly pulled out his fingers. Only to realize his two digits had turned into a huge meaty dick with tattoos on it. You were astonished at how his body was able to transform into other body parts. “Sukuna...” He hissed under his breath.
You suddenly felt empty and horny to be filled up again. “Stick it back in.” You whimpered, looking into Yuji’s chocolate-colored eyes pleadingly. He couldn’t say no to you and plunged his parasite's dick back into you. He could feel your walls clench his thick rod tightly. Strangely enough, Yuji found it pleasurable, and his dick in his pants began to rise with excitement. As he pumped the lengthy appendage in and out of you, he brought his lips back to your clit to give it some love.
The feeling of having a dick pumped in and out of you while Yuji sucked your clit sent you over the edge. He rapidly pounded his handy cock into you, making you spread your thighs out wider for him. Everything about this situation was desirable to you. You threw your head back to rest against the door and stared up at the moving ceiling. You were far from sober, but one thing was certain, you knew that you liked what Itadori was doing to you. Without being aware of what your body was doing, you found yourself desperately trying to bounce up and down onto Itadori’s hand. Your body craved more and Itadori planned on giving it all to you.
He pulled the dick out of your needy little cunt and you saw that it was coated in your glistening juices. Yuji gave your stimulated clit a kiss goodbye and stood up to eye you hungrily. He brought the dick attached to his hand to your lips and you obediently opened up for him. His massive rod entered your hot cavern slowly, giving you time to briefly welcome him into your mouth. You sucked the hot tip of his dick first, tasting your arousal on him. Your tongue fluttered the around the head and then to the underside of his cock, guiding him further into you. Itadori could hear Ryomen hiss with pleasure in the back of his mind.
Yuji was more than turned on as he watched you make love to Sukuna’s manifested penis. His pleasure was linked to Ryomen’s in the most intriguing way. He was able to feel all the dirty things your tongue did to him. Sukuna managed to open his second pair of eyes below Yuji’s and form a mouth on Yuji’s upper cheek. “Good little slut, now take me down your throat.” He growled. His deep and sexy voice made you tremble with a sudden urge to please him and obey his every word.
You sucked his dick down your throat as far as you could let it, your vision began to blur with tears as you gagged on his thick rod. Through your watery vision, you happened to make eye contact with Sukuna’s fiery red gaze. His eyes glowed sadistically, causing you to whimper on his dick. The vibrations of your throat caused both Yuji and Ryomen to groan slightly with delight.
Itadori then turned you around and bent you over the sink roughly, while he kept Sukuna’s cock lodged down your throat. In this position you managed to make eye contact with yourself in the mirror, you then focused your attention behind you. You saw that Itadori lifted his olive green t-shirt to expose his muscly abs. He placed the bottom hem of his shirt in his mouth to keep it up and out of the way. You heard Yuji undo his jeans and saw him spit on his dick to lubricate himself. He pumped himself a couple of times before placing the head of his cock to your slick entrance. You were more than ready for him. If Yuji was sober he would’ve teased you a bit more, but he couldn’t wait to take you. He was too excited and too drunk.
He roughly forced his toned hips against your bubbly ass cheeks. A loud groan of pleasure left his lips as he felt your hot warmth envelope him completely.
“Ohh, Yuji!” You moaned out, enjoying the delicious feeling of him filling you. Your walls clenched him greedily and he loved that, he could cum right here and now. But he wanted to make this moment last as long as possible. He brought his left hand up to your breast, and as soon as he did Sukuna’s mouth moved to his palm and sucked your tit viciously.
“Ahh!” You whimpered. Sukuna saw in the mirror how your pretty doe eyes welled up with pain and pleasure and that turned him on even more.
Yuji brought his attention to his dick pumping in and out of you slowly. He was taking his sweet time plunging into you, relishing how wet and ready you are - all because of him. He’d pull almost all the way out so the tip was barely in you. Causing you to shove yourself back towards him, wanting to feel him back inside of you. Then he’d stuff himself back in roughly, enjoying how your gooey walls welcomed him each time. Itadori then began to move into you at a steady and fast pace, he clenched his teeth on his shirt as he eyed your sexy body taking him. His stamina and tempo never faltered as he claimed your pussy. Each time he thrust into you, the dick you were sucking would jolt inside of your throat roughly. Which would cause you to weakly cough and choke on Sukuna occasionally.
Sukuna’s sharp teeth grazed over your soft breast and broke your skin. You were too focused on the way Yuji pounded deep inside of you, to realize that Sukuna was licking up the small droplets of blood from your breast. Itadori was able to taste the copper flavor of your blood on his tongue, he was confused and turned on at its taste.
You knew it should feel wrong to be intimate with someone who you thought was for a friend, but it didn’t. You knew that the both of you would probably have a discussion about this situation sober. But at this moment, your hazy mind chose desire over rationality. To put it simply, not a single thing felt wrong in you and Itadori’s dazed and horny minds. The way your saturated pussy squeezed Yuji’s dick comfortably as he thrust into you, made you feel like your body was made for his. Everything felt heavenly to the both of you; something this pleasant shouldn’t be inappropriate. The white-hot pleasure Yuji made you feel between your legs, threw your irrational thoughts out of the window. His long dick sliding in and out of you became a bit more wild and erratic, you could sense he was getting closer to his release.
You looked up in the mirror toward Yuji, his handsome face was slightly shiny from sweat. The way he bit down on his shirt feverishly looked so attractive. He then angled his hips up into you so he came in contact with your sweet spot, causing a gurgled moan to form around Sukuna’s cock lodged in your throat. His hips slapped against your ass rather loudly, as he dicked you down desperately.
Suddenly the mouth on your tit turned to a hand, and the dick in your mouth turned to fingers. Itadori’s cock inside of you felt as if it increased in girth and depth. Stretching you out in a painful and pleasurable way. The head of his dick rubbed against your cervix, causing a surprised whimper to escape from your lips. You looked at Itadori confusedly, only to see that the man staring you down in the mirror wasn’t Yuji; but Sukuna. The mood in the bathroom changed drastically into heavy cursed energy. The menacing man behind you shook you to your core. Goosebumps from utter fear rose all over your back. His red eyes glowed with intimidation mixed with arousal as he stared you down with a devilish smile.
“I didn’t want that punk to spoil the fun. Now it’s my turn.” He growled from behind you, ripping Yuji’s shirt off his muscular body. You noticed the elaborate tattoos covered Ryomen’s skin. Making him seem even more attractive and scary at the same time.
Sukuna then pulled his massive penis out of you, only for him to ram it back in with tremendous force. He shoved your entire body against the sink painfully. The hard marble edge of the counter dug into your hips as he folded you. You weakly tried to hold your body away from the sink with your hands, but Ryomen grabbed both of your petite wrists and firmly pressed them against your lower back. Helplessness washed over you as this curse pounded into your small body ruthlessly. Sukuna pulled his fingers from your drooling mouth and gripped your hair. He yanked your head back harshly so you could make eye contact with him through the mirror. Everything about this man was dominating, and that made you feel fear and arousal.
Once your body began to get used to his lengthy penis, getting fucked by him became more pleasurable. Sukuna watched as your pain-filled eyes switched to desire. “You like it rough, huh?” He murmured as you felt his iron grip on your wrists tighten.
Yuuta woke with a jolt, he could sense a tremendous amount of evil energy nearby. He stumbled off the couch, and could still feel his head spinning from the alcohol he drank a few hours earlier. Everything in the room seemed to be moving. Yuuta noticed that mostly everyone was gone, except Megumi and Toge who stood at the island in the kitchen.
“Do you guys feel the cursed energy?! Where is everyone?” He croaked, his voice a little groggy from his nap.
Fushiguro and Inumaki eyed him through their drunk stupor. “You wanna shot?” His dark-haired friend asked, he didn’t hear what Yuuta just said.
Yuuta shook his head ‘No’, “Where did everyone go? Where’s Y/n?” He said as he approached the counter.
Megumi finished pouring two small shot glasses with some harsh-smelling whisky, “They went to go get food.” He said as he passed one of the glasses to Toge. Both swigged the harsh liquid down in unison, and a scowl formed on Megumi’s face shortly after drinking it. While Toge drank the liquor with no reaction at all, probably because he’s used to drinking cough medicine all the time.
“Do you guys feel the cursed energy nearby?” Yuuta asked desperately.
“There’s no way a curse could’ve gotten in past the barrier.” Megumi slurred in an overly confident manner. “Tell ‘em Inumaki!”
Toge made an ‘X’ with his arms “Okaka.”
“But just to calm your delusions, here-“ Megumi brought his hands up in a shaky manner to manifest one of his Shikigami’s. “Demon Dog: Totality!” His massive Shikigami appeared in the kitchen next to his master, “Scout the apartment and make sure there isn’t danger.” He ordered the creature. “Feel better?” Megumi rolled his eyes towards the other dark-haired man. The beast then began to sniff around the kitchen and living room curiously.
Yuuta realized his friends were too far gone to sense the possible danger nearby, but having Totality out made him feel a bit at ease. Then the thought of Yuuta simply imagining that there was a curse close by crossed his mind. Maybe he’s drunk and his mind is playing tricks on him. Yuuta isn’t much of a drinker so it could be the alcohol in him that’s disorienting his perspective. He got a glass of water and sat back down on the couch for a brief moment to calm his mind.
Sukuna brought his fang-like mouth to the crook of your neck to bite and suck roughly, leaving painful red bites and hickeys on your sensitive skin. He removed his aggressive grip from your hair and brought his fingers down to your clit. His long fingers slid over your sensitive bud harshly, making your breath hitch with excitement. “Mmh!” You moaned in response.
Sukuna was focused on making you cum before he did, he planned on fucking you through multiple orgasms. He craved to make you his wet little slut. Suddenly the door tried opening but hit his thigh weakly. He picked up your small body and turned you to face the door. “Open it.” His deep voice ordered in your ear.
As he continued to ram into you wildly, you brought your hand up shakily to the doorknob. Opening it slowly to reveal Megumi’s black and white Shikigami. Totality’s face grew into a snarl as he locked eyes with Sukuna’s blood-red gaze. “That’s Fushiguro’s cursed technique isn’t it?” Ryomen hissed under his breath.
The beast brought his head up as if he was about to howl to alert his master, “It’s okay…” You cooed, as you brought a hand up to pet his fluffy head in a comforting manner. The beast’s ears flickered with appreciation as you stroked him kindly. “H-he’s not hurting me. It’s okay- there, good boy.” You gasped out as Sukuna fucked you harshly. You brought your fingers to the back of his ear to scratch him sweetly. The intimidating creator melted into your hands and now was as docile as ever.
Sukuna watched in astonishment as you managed to calm the curse without a fuss as he pumped his lengthy dick up into you. He brought his fingers back to your clit, which grabbed Totality’s attention. The beast watched curiously as his fingers slid over your needy folds quickly. Instinctively the creature brought his face close to your wet crotch to smell what was going on. “No…” You whined as you tried to shut your legs, weakly trying to prevent Megumi’s Shikigami from getting close to your private area. Sukuna watched you struggle with delight and forced your legs to stay open. “Come on, let’s see what’ll happen.” He growled in your ear, as he beckoned the fluffy creature with his slick fingers. Sukuna’s thrusts slowed down a bit as he let the Shikigami smell his fingers, the beast then licked his digits clean. As you watched the creature lick your juices off Sukuna’s fingers, you couldn’t help but feel slightly turned on at the sight before you. The beast licked his digits quickly as if it were a delectable treat.
The King of Curses patted your pussy to get the Shikigami’s attention to your folds, the beast lowered his mouth to your swollen clit and raked his long flexible tongue up it. “Ahh…” You whined as riveting pleasure washed over you, this was terribly inappropriate and you felt like you shouldn’t be enjoying it. How intoxicated you felt and the way the black and white monster flicked his fast tongue over your sensitive nub made you forget about what was right and wrong. Sukuna began to pound into you at a steady and persistent pace, a small hiss of pleasure left his lips as he felt Totality’s tongue lap over his saturated and heavy balls.
This entire situation felt forbidden, getting railed by the King of Curses while a Shikigami licked your clit, caused you to feel even more turned on. Sukuna’s cock stretched you out in the most delectable way, he slid in and out of you effortlessly. His tempo was rough and wild, he couldn’t help but admire the way your pussy squeezed him so tightly with each thrust. He took both of your hands and pulled them behind your back possessively, he held them firmly with his left hand. While his right hand pinched and pulled your nipples painfully. You were at his complete mercy, this man could do anything to you and there was nothing you could do or say to oppose him. Ryomen truly is the most powerful curse you’ve ever come across. Being so close and intimate with such a powerful being made you feel almost sinful… You’ve been trained to exercise curses, not get fucked by them.
“You’re a soaking mess Y/n… such a pretty little slut for me,” Sukuna growled from behind you, his dark voice caused shivers to run down your spine. His voice alone is terrifying, your instincts tell you to run away from him, but that would be impossible. You’ve never felt so slutty before, the fact that you’re letting the King of Curses fuck you has permanently tainted you. There’s no going back now. “Make me- ahh” You whimpered out in pain as you felt Sukuna bite down onto your shoulder. “Hmm?” He hummed with dark amusement, “What do you want me to do?”
The combination of Sukuna’s persistent rod plunging into you and Shikigami’s sloppy tongue on your horny privates sent you over the edge. “Make me yours, cum in me.” You moaned out in delicious pleasure as your walls clamped down on Ryomen’s dick, drenching him with your release. The way your needy cunt squeezed his cock so scrumptiously sent him into a thrusting frenzy, he fucked you through your orgasm as he chased his own. You felt him sink his teeth into your supple flesh, “Fuck, you will be mine.” Sukuna murmured as he slapped his muscly hips against your juicy ass. You suddenly felt him pulsate profusely as he released his massive load of seed deep inside of you. A guttural groan left his lips as he bit down onto your shoulder possessively, you could feel hot sticky blood drip down your cleavage as your shoulder stung with pain.
He popped his dick out of your pussy, his rod glistened with the mixture of both of your cum. The Shikigami immediately began to lick his cum coated cock clean as if it was a delicious frosting. Sukuna let out a hiss of pleasure as the beast's tongue continuously slid over his slick meaty dick. His cock pulsated with delight at the sensation. The black and white creature's tongue didn’t miss a single spot as he lapped his large tongue across Ryomen’s shaft, and then to his balls. He was still hard as ever and his release began to gush out of your wet cunt. The Shikigami directed his attention to your sloppy hole and started to lap up the white liquid abundantly leaking out of you like a fountain. A slutty whine left your lips as you felt the beast's warm tongue eat you out. “Ahh, good boy.” You whined out as his wet nose brushed against your clit making you enjoy the sensation even more. You were able to feel his long flexible tongue scoop into you at such depth, causing you to instinctively gyrate your pussy against the beast's eager mouth.
Sukuna was turned on at the sight before him; the lewd whimpers that escaped your lips along with the slushy sound of the Shikigami making a mess out of you, inspired him to go for round two. With his dick still slippery he placed his tip at your puckered hole. He greedily shoved his massive cock inside of you, causing you to moan out in discomfort. He stretched you out incredibly, you weren’t prepared for him which didn’t help much either. Before Sukuna could thrust into you ruthlessly, he was suddenly suppressed by Itadori.
As Itadori came to his senses he felt an incredibly snug squeeze around his throbbing cock. He realized that Sukuna had taken control without warning and he had his dick shoved up your ass. It took him all of his willpower to not plow into you, but by the way, your nails dug into Yuji’s thighs painfully, he knew his rod may be the cause of your pain.
“Ah-are you ok?” He choked out in pleasure as he gently began to nibble your earlobe.
You turned your head to the man behind you, his voice was soft and his red eyes went back to a warm brown, “Yuji?”
He nodded affirmatively with a small smile, his hands holding your waist carefully. “Should I take it out? If it’s hurting you?” He asked with lust-filled eyes, he clearly didn’t want to remove himself from your warm and tight hole.
The feeling of his twitching dick lodged up your ass while Megumi’s Shikigami tongue scooped the remaining cum out of you; causing your mind to buzz with pleasure. “It’s ok, but can we take this to the bedroom? I’m tired of standing.”
Without another second delayed, Itadori gingerly removed his raging dick out of you and whisked you up into his arms. Totality’s sloppy hot tongue flicked over your clit one last and licked his tongue over his muzzle to get your remaining juice off his wet face. Yuji hoisted you away and carried you into his dark bedroom carefully. He set you down on the bed. You heard the black and white beast fallow behind you two anxiously. A small whine left the creature’s mouth protesting against Yuji’s actions as if he wanted to eat you some more. Itadori’s lips crashed onto yours in a needy manner, as he half laid on top of you. The bathroom light illuminated his handsome features perfectly, especially the charming smile he’d make when he’d pull away from his needy kisses to just stare and admire you. Yuji didn’t want to admit it while he was drunk but he always thought you were the most beautiful woman you’ve ever met.
As you looked up at Itadori you could still feel your head spinning from the alcohol. His hands slid all over your body, causing goosebumps to rise and making your nipples pebble. He suddenly flipped you over with such ease a surprised gasp escaped your lips. He had you on top of him while he was lying down. With barely any effort he hoisted you up his torso so your glistening cunt was now hovering over his face. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he eyed your pretty lips, his mouth watered instantly and forced your thighs down so you sat on his hot mouth. His tongue teased your clit as he slid it feverishly across your sensitive nub. “Oh-Itadori…” you moaned as pleasure raked up your spine. He popped his tongue inside of your wet cavern and swirled it around deep inside of you. Just then you felt the weight on the bed shift and a second larger and sloppier tongue licked over your tight asshole. You looked back to see that Megumi’s Shikigami was on the bed, partially standing over Yuji’s body. The black and white creature continuously licked your puckered hole, causing an interesting wave of pleasure to wash over you. He slid his long flexible tongue inside of your hot and tight hole making you whimper out deliciously. Itadori enjoyed your cute little moans and gasps of pleasure while he and Totality ate you. You tasted heavenly to him, he couldn’t think of anything better than having you on his face.
With the combination of both their wet wiggling tongues inside of your privates, you couldn’t stand it anymore and drenched Yuji’s face in your release. He eagerly drank your juices, while Totality burrowed his head underneath you to get a taste of your cum on Itadori’s chin.
As you came down from your orgasm, you decided to return the favor to Yuji. You kissed a trail of hickeys down his muscular torso, and soon you were greeted with the sight of his raging rod. Itadori’s lust-filled eyes raked over you as his breath began to pick up with excitement. You sweetly enveloped his sensitive tip with your hot pouty lips. His velvety skin felt so soft and smooth under your greedy tongue. You coaxed him further down your throat quickly, so his entire length was lodged down your throat. “Mmm... Y/n.” He hissed out with delight as he threw his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying every second of your sinful mouth working on him.
While you were preoccupied with Itadori’s large cock in your mouth, you didn’t realize how the Shikigami positioned himself behind you. The beast smelt your privates curiously, you felt his hot breath waft over your slippery cunt. The creature gave you few a brief licks and pulled away, beginning to pant rather quickly. You focused your attention on Itadori’s delicious dick in your mouth, enjoying it when he’d tug your hair gently. You eyed the pink-haired man as he looked down at you with a look of pure bliss on his handsome face. You knew for a fact that things would never be the same between you, and you felt excited about this new relationship.
Suddenly you felt soft fur tickle your back as the heavy weight of the Shikigami mounted you. You felt his large claws wrap around your slim waist. He humped his large hot dick up against your ass. The creature was much larger than you and the thought of his huge monstrous dick inside of you made you nervous. Yuji couldn’t help but watch curiously as Megumi’s monster was clearly trying to fuck you. You tried to get up and push the creature off of you but you were much too weak. Plus with how intoxicated you were, you were in no condition to fight. “Y-Yuji, get him off of me, I don’t want him to-ahh!” The beast's massive rod was now lodged up your pussy in the most pleasurable way. He was too big for you, his size reminded you of Gojo’s. Except the Shikigami’s dick had an interesting curve to it.
Itadori couldn’t help but get turned on at the sight in front of him. Even Megumi’s beast wanted to have a go at you. The creature pounded into you ruthlessly, his speed was too fast for you to comprehend. This was the fastest you’ve ever been fucked before. He rammed into you like an animal. You could feel Totality’s hot breath pant over you as he fucked your tight pussy. If someone were to walk in right now they would barely be able to see you, your petite body was lost underneath the massive creatures and fluffy fur. Yuji’s bed creaked loudly, as your moans and cries of pleasure increased. Itadori got up to his knees and shoved his dick in your whimpering mouth. You needily sucked him as your entire body jolted by the Shikigami’s rough fucking. Your mind felt as if it were going a million miles per minute, you felt Itadori’s hands grip your bobbing head firmly. Which turned you on even more, having his dick down your throat gave you something to focus on. Your hot slippery mouth felt heavenly to Yuji, along with your muted moans which caused sweet vibrations all over his shaft. You loved the small groans that escaped his lips as you made love to his dick.
The Shikigami’s monstrous cock filled you up in the most inappropriate way; the way his slick penis greedily penetrated you at such speed made your voice get stuck in your throat. You felt your cunt squeeze the creature's dick deliciously as you felt your release begin to build up. The room was filled with the sound of your lewd muffled moans as you gurgled on Itadori’s dick.
Yuji’s warm brown eyes looked down at you with approval as you deep-throated him. He loved the way your pretty orbs welled up with tears as he fucked your mouth relentlessly. He emptied his load of seed deep down your throat aggressively, his hands still tangled in your hair. You drank him up enthusiastically as you couldn’t hold back your orgasm any longer. Ecstasy washed over you as you creamed all of the beast's bright red rod. You felt your pussy clench his large pounding dick deep inside of you. Suddenly you felt a massive amount cum shoot up inside of you as you felt a painful stretch in your wet hole. Totality managed to knot up inside of you. His large dick formed a pulsating bulb that made it impossible for you to pull out. You looked down at your lower stomach with panic to see a noticeable bulge inside of you. Totality’s mountainous cock caused an agonizing discomfort to your vaginal canal. You couldn’t hold back a pitiful wail, “Yuji!” You gurgled out desperately as you pulled your face away from his twitching dick, his cum dripping down your chin. “Get him out! It hurts!”
Yuji’s lust-filled eyes switched into concern as he came down from his pleasure-filled high, “Shit, it’s ok! I’ll ask Megumi to release his technique, okay?” He slurred as he hopped off the bed, scrambling to the bathroom to find his pants.
“There’s no need.” Said an all too familiar voice in Itadori’s doorway, Megumi walked in from the dark with a hungry look in his eyes. He reached out and patted his Shikigami’s fluffy head with approval, “Good job Totality.” He praised with a smug look, “release.” And like smoke the beast that was on top of you disappeared instantly. The excruciating feeling of the monster's bulbous knot inside of you had vanished, causing a sigh of relief to escape from you.
“How long were you standing there?” Asked Yuji breathlessly as he pulled up his boxers while entering the bedroom, practically glowing with pride. Oh how the tables have turned, Sukuna thought humorously.
“Long enough to know that I’d want to fuck her with you sometime.” Fushiguro held his gaze on your naked and used body; noticing the bloody bite marks on your shoulder. Then he directed his attention to his friend. Yuji came up to you with a towel and helped clean the cum, sweat, and blood off you. He was extremely gentle and cautious when he handled you. Making Megumi approve of his friend's treatment of you even more. If Itadori wanted to be one of your boyfriends, Fushiguro would have his vote.
“She seems like a good bit of fun.” Said another voice emerging from the inky black hallway. Causing Fushiguro and Itadori’s attention to shift toward the doorway. There stood Kamo Noritoshi, as he eyed you suggestively. Kamo approached you with such dominance, he reminded you of a more intense version of Megumi. He brought his hand up to your chin so you were now looking up at him. He noted how fucked out you were, along with the hazy look in your sultry eyes. “Damn she’s a little vixen” Noritoshi sighed, pulling away. He smirked down at you, his dark eyes gleaming with excitement, “With your permission, Fushiguro I’d like to join you and Itadori.”
“And don’t forget about me.” Snarled Sukuna.
Next
943 notes · View notes
ressonancee · 7 months
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IMPATIENT
✦ genre: friends with benefits, a dash of humor (?), reader is a bit of a brat and this has sub and dom undertones - smut
✦ word count: 3.040
✦ Thea note: okay first this was supposed to be a drabble for my girl @toruro so mika - i hope you enjoy it. second, I won't say anything bad about my own work but lately, i have been so busy and tired that writing is just harder than usual even when I have fun with it, i really like reader on this one so maybe we will see a pt 2 when my brain is not working at 25% of its capability - but I do hope y'all enjoy this even tho my brain is like fighting for dear life!!!
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Your mind was completely empty. 
Hoshi had been speaking for a solid thirty minutes and if somebody asked what was the problem you couldn’t say something because everything that left Hoshi’s mouth did reach your ear, but your brain didn’t process it, because you were too busy using all your cognitive function. The only thing you could focus on was how Minghao was laughing at something Jeonghan said - even tho you actually didn’t hear his giggle it was something that you knew so well that your brain made you believe that he was laughing right there - at your side, but more than that, it was on how a brunette girl who was actually on his side - eating everything up, laughing at everything, looking at Minghao in awe, that, that scene was what making your brain way too busy. 
"And then she was like super angry that I didn't text her I mean she said we should stop talking first-" Hoshi said and stared at you waiting for an answer.
"Yeah, that's sucks, I'm sorry," you say taking another sip of your beer, "you know what? Maybe you should talk to Jeonghan. He could totally talk to her about how you misunderstood everything," you say already trying to drag Soonyoung to the other side of the room. 
"Yo!” Hoshi’s eyes lit up, “That's- That's really nice advice,"
"Right, let's talk to him," You say interlocking your arms with Hoshi and finally dragging him across the room, not even feeling that sorry, but again, you were too curious, too focused, to actually care about Hoshi’s love problem. Hell, you had one of your own right in your point of view
"Jeonghan my guy!" Hoshi calls making everyone in that little circle pay attention to you two. 
"What is going on?" Minghao asks when you stop at his side, that side-eye he gives you when he knows - somehow - that you have been up to no good. 
"You ask me?" You try your best to bat your eyelashes at him, even tho you know he won’t eat it up. 
"You were the one planning everything," Minghao says.
“Planning?” The brunette girl asks, and she is cute, she seems nice, she is the epitome of the girl next door.
“Oh yeah, planning how Hoshi is gettin’ his girl back you see-” You start, trying your best to be your own version of the girl next door.
“Hey I need something to drink, be right back,” Minghao says and starts to drag you to the kitchen - oh, that was how Hoshi felt? Weird, Karma was acting super fast lately. 
“Wait I wasn't planning-” You try to argue, huffing, and almost stomping your feet, "I was listening to a good friend talk about his heartbreak, and you? What were you doing with miss brunette and Jeonghan?"
"Are you?" He says and you can see how the corners of his mouth start to lift up, the foreshow of a smile and you just can’t take it.
"Nope," you say, trying your best, but you know he already won. 
"You are!" He giggles - that silly giggle he always does, the giggle that you love to hear, the giggle that makes your heart full almost to the point it bursts. And you give up, because you know he knows, "Maybe? A little?"
"Sure, a little," Minghao says, crossing his arms and leaning on the kitchen counter, and god he looks so good, he is tired and you know that because he has his glasses on instead of his contacts, his hair is already huffed up and longer - you like that, and you like to think he didn’t show up on his monthly haircut because you said that to him the last time, 
"Can we-" you start and before you finish you can see his smile. 
"Sure, you go first or I go first?" He asks. You two made a routine of it, made an almost everyday practice, a little secret that you two shared, tucked in away os the curious eyes of everyone else. In a way, it was something sacred, cherished, something only you two could tap into.  
"To your room?" You ask even though you know it is the only place possible right now, Minghao just nods, "Okay I go first, but you should go talk to Hoshi, he is in actual distress I wasn’t planning that up"
"Sure," Minghao says, standing in front of you - he looks at the door before he holds your face and just plants his lips on yours. And before you can say anything he vanishes. 
Leaving you there, standing still in the middle of the kitchen.
It was weird the whole sneaking out to not get caught part of the deal. You and Minghao have been friends for so long that your friends were his friends, and his friends were your friends and the whole thing was just messy. And maybe you didn't want to share that with everyone - every new detail of Hao was yours. But you also didn’t want to share the tiptoeing in the shallow water phase. 
In a way you wanted to learn what that was, is, and will become on your own.
So you try your best to not draw any attention to yourself, the first step of the process pick yourself a cold beer - that's why you were in the kitchen. Step two, go to Minghao's room, not that much trouble. Step three is not to fall asleep in his bed, he does spend way too much money on bedsheets, it feels like you are lying in a cloud. Soft, fluffy, and slightly cold against your skin. 
And you are almost drifting until you hear the door open, and it is not Hao.
"Hey," Chan says, already rummaging around, opening Minghao's drawers, "Did you see a charger around? Someone took mine, for real people need to understand boundaries in this household."
"Don't you tell me," you say smiling at Chan, the irony of it. 
"Yeah I know," he huffs making you laugh, "but someone stole mine first," then he turns out you, his expression is almost a question mark, "Wait, are you okay? Why are you here?"
"Just a headache," you say trying your best to give an academy winner performance, lifting up your hand, touching your forehead and all.
"Oh yeah, do you need anything? I know this house is a mess but we do have painkillers," Chan says sincerely. 
"No, no, already took one, I'm good, thanks Channie," you say almost feeling bad to lie, almost being the keyword.
"Chan, what are you doing?" Minghao says resting his shoulder on the door. 
"Oh man," Chan says defeated, "I am doing nothing, and if your charger disappeared it wasn't me ok? Mine was stolen too,"
"I-" Minghao shakes his head, huffing up a bit while closing the door. 
"Lock it," you remark "or we will get Mingyu searching for a hair tie while your dick is in my mouth," You say taking off your own shirt, and already working on the button of your pants when Minghao's cold hands reach yours.
"Why are you always in a hurry," he says, his hands traveling to your shoulders, pressing you down until your back finds the mattress. 
"You do live with four other guys, so-" you say like it was common sense, because you know Minghao's roommates, they are your friends as well, and you know they are fucking nosy.
"No, you always like that," Minghao says, lowering his body against yours, "even when nobody is around," he says against your neck. 
"I'm not," you say, hands on the back of his neck, playing with his hair while his lips find the skin of your neck.
"You are," he says kissing your jaw, "you need to learn how to be patient."
"Yeah, whatever," you say almost rolling your eyes, tugging at Minghao's hair, "not today though." 
"Why not?" Minghao says, voice low like he is telling you a secret, while his digits trace the strap of your bra. 
"Because," you whine but Minghao is still working in slow motion, his lips tracing your collarbones, "today you gonna fuck me stupid, I can learn something tomorrow"
"I can fuck you stupid even if we do it slowly," Minghao giggles again, god and you almost hate him, his fingers finally tugging the strap enough, he gives your shoulder a kiss before tugging the cup of your bra. 
"And if I say please?" You say making Minghao stop on his track and you almost laugh before he looks at you.
"If you say what?"
"If I say pretty please can you fuck me stupid and like right now? You can totally teach me a lesson tomorrow or-" you say hands against Minghao's face and tugging him just enough until he understands what you want - him - pressed against you, his lips against yours, him against your hands, your mind is only filled with thoughts of him, him, him.
“Come on-” Minghao says, holding your head - making you whine a little when you try to follow him, trying to keep your lips connected, “say it”
“Oh no,” It’s your time to giggle, your smile plastered across your face, and it is so easy to be happy when Minghao's cold hands are against your waist when he is kneeling between your thighs, “You like it too much”
“And? What’s wrong with that?” he says dragging his hands over your body until reaches the waistband of your jeans, “If you ask prettily," Minghao pauses tugging at the belt loops, "you know I will give you everything you ask for”
"Promise?" You say, your own voice sounds different against your ears somehow, your hands holding Minghao's forearm. You can feel your cheeks burn, but just like Minghao, you are willing to give him everything he asks for. And he just nods, hands pressed against your thighs now. "Can you please just fuck me? I promise tomorrow you can tease me and take your precious time."
"Yeah, sure sweetheart," Minghao says smirking at you, it is so condescending that you want to stand up and pick a fight with him, but in the end he means it - he is already working on your jeans, hands dragging against your hips before he gets off the bed just to pull at the bottom hem. "but, just so you know, make sure you have a free afternoon tomorrow."
"Sure, sure, gonna timeblock you right after my dentist appointme-" you start but end up being cut off by your own welp of surprise because Minghao's hand finds your thigh and drags you across the bed.
"You are so smart-mouthed sometimes," he says again finding his place in the space between your thighs, and you just pout - not because of the quip, but because he is still fully dressed, "What?"
"You're still dressed," you say tugging at the hem of his shirt, and Minghao laughs again like you are saying the silliest thing in the world, but that doesn't take your mind away when he lowers his body to kiss you again. 
You try your best to keep your mind focused, still tugging Minghao's shirt, hands lifting the material off his back until it's pooling at his shoulders. When Minghao gets on his knee to finally take the damn thing off you follow him, lips against his chest, hands already on his jeans. 
"Come on," you complain, tugging at his jeans. 
"Ok, ok," Minghao huffs out before leaving the bed again, looking at you with a smirk on his face, "I'm taking it off don't need to pout," he says finally taking off those damn jeans but leaving on his underwear, "come on, your turn"
"Hun?" You say totally distracted, making Minghao giggle again, "Oh okay," you finally get what he means, taking off your own bra. 
"Fuck," Minghao says, before he is kissing you again, "you are so pretty, you should let me-"
"Baby you promised," you whine, because you know Minghao like the back of your hand. 
"You are the first one that hates the idea of me taking my time," Minghao says when his hands find your hips, tugging at your panties, making you lift your hips a little to help him, "I could totally eat you out right now,"
"I know," you whine, and it is true, he could eat you out, and you know he loves doing it. But Minghao is right, you do not have the patience, "tomorrow I let you go down on me for like forty-five minutes"
"You say like that is a hassle for you," Minghao says, hands against your knee, eyes on your pussy,  "or for me by the way"
"Oh for fuck sake," you try to close your legs even though Minghao’s hand is still on your knees, blocking your action. 
"Ok ok sh-" Minghao says, finally lowering his underwear, and for the first time you think about it. Think about learning how to be patient, to be calm, and composed, just so you can change your plans just to put Minghao’s dick in your mouth. Okay, maybe not calm and collected but less stubborn, but before you can say it all Minghao is just taking too long searching for the condom making you impatient again, but before you can complain he guides his dick to your pussy.
“This is insane,” you complain, Minghao hovering over you, his longer bangs over your face, making you ticklish. 
“What?” Minghao says against the skin of your neck, his voice sound muffled. His hand is still on your waist, his dick hot against your thigh. 
“You really want to make me beg?” You say tugging Minghao’s hair, “Is this a kink? Do we need to talk about this?” 
“I mean, I’m not really against a pretty girl begging for my dick,” Minghao says, making you shudder.
“Not gonna give you that,” you say - and it is not because you are stubborn, you are, and you know that, but with Minghao is just fun, the push and pull of it, the banter, this thing going on between the two off you. 
“You are so fucking stubborn,”
“Come on, I already said please,” You say pretending you are against the idea of begging Minghao - like you never did before. 
“Sure baby,” Minghao says giving you a kiss on your cheeks, and is just so sweet like he is not about to fuck you like he is not holding his dick against your pussy - rubbing himself against you, "Just because you said please", he says in that condescending tone, but before you can argue or raise your voice, Minghao is finally fucking you and the feel of his dick stretching you out is enough to make you speechless. 
And it was always like that, it always ended up with Minghao filling you up.
And you can't complain when he is fucking you the way he likes it - a lewd pace that makes your mind spin, it makes you claw Minghao's back, while his grip against your tightens. Maybe - you think to yourself - just maybe you try to hurry Minghao up to see if he caves up, to see if he has another side inside him, to see if he fucks you hard and fast makes you like him less, makes you less addicted to the feel of his skin against yours, the feel of his mouth against your neck. 
But he never complies. 
He keeps fucking you at his own pace, at his own volition. 
“Hao please,” you beg - because you are ready to give Minghao everything he wants if he gives you something in return. 
“Ah, so now we are not above begging?” Minghao chuckles, his voice so close to your ear that his lips graze your skin. 
“Please,” you try again “I will beg, I will do whatever you want I promise.” 
“Come on,” Minghao says, one of his hand trailing against your skin, until it reach your neck, “we both know you won’t, behaving is against your own existence” 
“You say that like you hate it”
“I actually love it, that’s the problem,” Minghao says, planting a kiss on your cheeks before he finally picks up his pace.
You understand Minghao really, sometimes you are too hastened. Is not like you are particularly against him taking his time, warming you up, eating you out, and fucking you at his own pace - you enjoy all that. But you also enjoy what he is doing now, fucking you fast and hard enough that you need to hold on for dear life.
You like this Minghao too - this version of him that nothing is holding him back. 
And the only thing in your mind is Minghao.
The only thing you can think about is him. How he feels against you, how Minghao licks your skin, how his hand clutches your hips, and how he is panting against your neck. When everything starts to get muffled you know that you are almost there - and the only thing you can do to muffle your own noises is to bite down Minghao's shoulder. 
And everything stands still for a minute.
“We need to stop sneaking out,” MInghao says panting above you, you look at him and how disheveled he looks, how his sweaty hair clings to his forehead. He always says that to you, how he always brings that up after sex, If he weren’t a non-believer you would say it was the Christian guilt kicking in after sex, but you know Minghao, and you know why he asks.
“Yeah, I think Chan is finally catching up that something is going on,” You say, your own smile plastered on your face when you hear his silly giggle. 
You look at Minghao again, he is sitting on the bed, back against you. probably dealing with his condom, and you try to bite your own tongue, you try to hold yourself back but the urge to say something is stronger than you, and to be honest when it is about pushing Minghao’s buttons you are not the strongest soldier “but first we are going to talk about your kink list sir," and Minghao silly giggle just turns into a disapproving growl. 
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binniebakery · 3 months
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lights off
College AU Bestfriend!Beomgyu x Gn!Reader .. not exactly fluff! kinda suggestive? ♡ Warnings: thunder? rain? ig being in the dark? my first time writing kissing .. my first time actually writing ANYTHING so it might be bad im so sorry guys ♡ A/N: this is my first little fic (if you could call it that)! i literally hate it but i think i got the point across LOLL regardless i hope someone will enjoy please lmk what you think <3 lowercase intended + not proofread ~
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7:32 pm. sighing softly, you placed your phone that was softly playing your favorite tunes back down on the small table over your lap. you tapped your pencil on the table in frustration as you once again for the fifth time readjusted your legs on the bed of your best friend's bedroom. time was going by excruciatingly slow and it didnt help that this math problem was taking you a million years to solve. the sun had already set outside and heading back to your dorm seemed less favorable by the minute. hearing a soft shuffle from the other side of the room you looked up at your best friend. rain began to patter outside. looks like you'll be staying for longer than you intended. beomgyu, who had his deep-colored headphones on was moving his head to the music as he wrote down notes from his study guide. his hair softly wrapped around his features most attractively. you began to mentally trace the lines of his nose, his eyes… his lips.. the dim lighting of the room adding more charm to his aura. "y/n..? are you okay? i could feel you burning holes into my head." beomgyu said as he shook off his headphones to fully put his attention was on you. snapped out of your daze, you mentally kicked yourself as you felt embarrassment creep onto your cheeks. how long had you been staring at him for..? "sorry gyu. if i was staring i didnt mean to" you softly laughed, trying to seem nonchalant and cool about the situation. beomgyu, seeing your embarrassment, chuckled at your reaction. "youre okay, i know you look at me because im cute" he grinned and you rolled your eyes. "oh shut up! you know i was daydreaming. i cant focus on this assignment anyways, its too hard. i think im gonna just finish it tomorrow." you smiled as you threw a pillow at him. he was always cheeky when he had the opportunity. anything to see you react. "daydreaming? so you do think im cute?" he grinned wider after recovering from your pillow attack. you huffed and placed the table that was on your lap onto the ground. "you know youre so-.. ugh and what if i do think you're cute?! what would you even do about it, huh?" you retaliated as you sat on the edge of his bed, now fully facing him. you faked a pout as you were feeling a bit bolder than usual today. your homework giving you enough pent-up rage to have the energy to give in to his bickering.
"okay well i dont know how much truth there is to that but if you really meant that id probably kiss you." your eyes widened at his response. you see beomgyu's face turn into an unreadable expression. he hadnt realized you were only half joking and fully meant the compliment, but it was too late and by the time he caught wind that you were actually flustered he felt his stomach flip. even he was shocked by his own words. he slipped. had he said too much? after a few seconds of silence that felt like minutes. the rain outside seemed to get louder. his eyes finally met yours and you looked away. you felt your heart pounding at the thought of you saying too much. both of you overthinking the situation and awkwardness that you both never have had before taking place. you and beomgyu have never had an awkward moment like this. normally you both laugh things off but this time felt different. "you trust me right?" his voice sounded sincere. this tone was rare for you to hear from him but you knew immediately he was being genuine with his question. "h- huh? yeah of course.. why?" you responded. "okay well.." you noticed beomgyu was now fiddling with his headphones, it seemed like he was turning all the gears in his head to get out what he wanted to say. "y/n.. theres a chance you may have not been telling the truth but if you were- look regardless if you meant it, i meant what i said." you could feel your stomach turning. he hardly flirted with you but when he did it always felt different from his usual teasing. you never said anything though, in fear of ruining your friendship. yet you always thought about what it would be like if he also returned the feelings you felt.
the room's atmosphere seemed to change. suddenly you were both hyper-aware of his neon led light being the only source of light aside from his computer. your playlist had stopped and the silence felt unbearable. in one swift move, he stood up, and turned off the led light on his wall.
the room was a lot darker now, his computer screen's light being the only way of telling you what he was going to do next. you watched as he plopped down next to you. he was so close that you could see the slight tinge of pink on his ears. your senses began to be filled with the light scent of his cologne. "i.. look- the only way i can say or do this is if the lights are off- im not trying to be weird its just you make me so nervous.. i cant look at you." he mumbled as he looked at your hands resting on your lap. it was so dark and both your hearts were racing. "gyu.. " was all you could muster with his hands now softly on yours.
"can i…" beomgyu began as he leaned in closer, only centimeters away from your face. his eyes staring intently into yours. he had this look of pure admiration, nervousness and love. it was all too surreal. realizing what he was asking, you silently nodded as you stared at his lips. he pressed his forehead on yours, the thick tension in the air causing your body to tingle in anticipation. as you felt his hair softly tickle your features from him leaning in, your lips connected. he kissed you oh so softly as he held your cheek gently. your hands, as if moving on their own, were softly placed on his arms. his lips softly moving along your own. he was patient. it felt as if he was waiting for you to respond, unsure if what he was doing was okay with you. you moved your head to the side slightly to deepen the kiss, causing him to sigh. it was all he needed to know you felt the same. his hands moved to your waist as you settled your fingers into his long hair. softly pushing him towards you to intensify the kiss. all that could be heard was the rain outside aside from the soft exchange of sighs and hands roaming. "ive liked you for so long.. you have no idea.." he began between kisses. it was all passionate, slow, and tender as if he was handling you like glass. his hands pulled your waist impossibly closer to his. he separated first, leaving you craving for more. "trust me, i liked you so much i was so scared you didnt feel the same way despite you teasing me the way you did." you chuckled as you pecked his cheek. "you drive me insane.." he softly spoke. "y/n, every time i tried to say something.. my brain just went to mush.. its so bad i swear. i could only be this confident with the lights off.." beomgyu laughed as his eyes began to trail your facial features. he was admiring every curve and feature, and at that point, both your faces were impossibly red. "gyu.. can you just.. kiss me again..?" your voice came out hardly a whisper. "i like you so much i feel like im going insane from the way you just confessed." he smiled fondly at your words and nodded, leaning in once again. as soon as your lips touched you could both practically feel the electricity pouring through your bodies. as if on cue, thunder struck the moment you connected again. your arms wrapped impossibly tight around him, slightly tugging and playing with his hair. his arms remained at your waist, slightly circling over the shirt you wore. you could feel the warmth of his fingers through the fabric.
his tongue slightly swiped along your lips for permission, and you parted your lips in response. having his tongue explore your mouth had your brain going numb. time felt like it had stopped, with just the rain as your only witness to the quiet whispers and confessions that only you two could hear. when you both finally were running out of breath, you separated with beomgyu looking into your eyes. you stared back, lips equally as glossy as his. "are you.. going back to your dorm yet?" thunder struck once again, as if responding to his question. you smiled. "its raining a little too hard dont you think?" beomgyu chuckled, realizing how silly his question was. "yeah. youre right, i think you should stay." you bit your lip as you pulled off each other, both of you immediately missing the warmth. beomgyu shook his head fixing his now fluffed hair thanks to you as he ran his fingers through. he then stood up to turn the led light he had turned off previously back on. "so.. how about we watch a movie?" he spoke as the light clicked. you could almost burst into laughter from the question given the events that just happened a minute prior. give it to choi beomgyu, your best friend, to turn a situation less awkward by simply being his charismatic self. the personality you fell for since day one of knowing him.
"sure gyu, but.." you trailed off, shy about what you were about to say next. honestly, could this get any more awkward? "yeah?" he turned to you and tilted his head in that attractive way he does. "leave the lights off." you looked at him with a shy smile. he flushed at your words. and for the last time again, lightning struck. "yeah.. lights off" he replied, led light clicking once again.
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g1rld1ary · 2 months
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you never disappointed me - part three
part one part two part three part four
➻ synopsis: luke castellan x aphrodite!reader ; after beckendorf does some research with silena, luke finally knows how to ask you out (10 things I about you AU)
➻ word count: 2642
➻ warnings: ooc/kind of loser!luke, ooc silena, she/her pronouns used for reader, sexual innuendos, alcohol, smoking
➻ so i immediately got hit with a ton of uni work lols (so mean for first week??) so this took a little longer than expected sorries!!
TAGLIST: @myxticmoon @wicca-void @leeknows-wife @thekittyxo-blog @number-onekidqueen @instabull @slaybestieslay946 @sflame15-blog @yourfavmiki @ivory-sage
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While you were being tormented by the two boys Camp Half-Blood (or maybe your mom?) kept sending your way, Charles was following Silena around like a lost puppy, noting down whatever she could find about you in your limited personal space in the Aphrodite cabin. After several minutes of nothing promising, he was starting to feel hopeless.
“She’s not a…” Beckendorf trailed off, looking for more delicate phrasing.
“Girl in Red fan? No. I found a picture of Heath Ledger under her bunk once so I’m pretty sure she’s not harbouring any queer feelings.”
“So that’s the kind of guy she likes? Pretty guys?”
“I don’t know,” Silena said impetuously, “All I’ve ever heard her say is that she’d die before dating a guy that smokes.” Beckendorf cringed. That was an issue. Silena continued mindlessly, digging through your drawers and belongings. She pulled out your reading list, planner and a sticky note of things you were going to do when you left after summer. Finally, Silena let out a devious giggle as she dug through your top drawer. She didn’t let Beckendorf wonder for long, as she pulled out a pretty pair of lacy black underwear.
It wasn’t the most scandalous piece of lingerie sitting in that cabin — not by far, but Beckendorf still blushed like the teenage boy he was, almost too afraid to look at the scrap of fabric.
“And, uh, what does that tell us?” He asked, eyes anywhere but the cloth.
“She wants to have sex someday, that’s what,” She said it as if it were obvious, and Beckendorf wished a hole would open up and swallow him down. He really didn’t want to be talking about your sexual desire right now.
“She might just like the colour?” He mumbled, hand running over his hair in an effort to ground him.
“You don’t buy black lingerie unless you want someone to see it.” Beckendorf felt kind of guilty, he figured he probably wasn’t who you had in mind when buying black lingerie, and it was starting to feel like a serious invasion of privacy. That was only heightened when Silena pointedly avoided telling him which area was hers, saying it was ‘private’. He rationalised his actions by praying to the Gods the plan would work and everyone would get a happy ever after.
Still, Percy and Beckendorf took this research to Luke in his semi-secret spot behind the training arena, where he could drink and smoke without being worried about being caught by the younger kids or Chiron. He didn’t look exactly happy to see them, but Beckendorf thought he might just be warming up to them.
“So, what’ve you got for me?” He asked, taking a swig of his beer.
“Insights into a very complicated girl,” Percy said, dislike of you obvious.
“Just one question,” Beckendorf asked “Should you be drinking if you don’t have a liver?” One of his new brothers had told him the rumour that Luke had sold his liver on the black market during his quest for a pack of cigarettes and a ticket back to camp.
“She hates smokers!” Percy interrupted, hopefully before Luke could process what Beckendorf had said, and very successfully redirected his focus as Beckendorf grabbed the lit cigarette out of his hand, snuffing it out on the dirt.
“So I’m a… non-smoker now?” Luke spat the words, sounding almost disgusted with himself.
“Just for now,” Beckendorf assured him. “And one more problem — Silena said that she likes ‘pretty guys’.” A tense silence fell upon them and Charles wished that sometimes he would think before he spoke. Luke’s gaze on him was heavy and intimidating, and if Percy wasn’t there with him Beckendorf probably would have cowered and escaped.
“Are you telling me I’m not a pretty guy?” Luke asked, and if he had to say, Beckendorf thought his attitude right now definitely wasn’t helping his case. He and Percy shared a quick look before reassuring Luke that he absolutely was a pretty guy, they just had limited experience in deciding those labels. Satisfied, Luke glanced at the list Beckendorf handed him of all of your interests and engagements. He frowned, and both the younger boys exchanged uneasy eye contact.
“So what, I’m supposed to buy her noodles and books and sit around listening to some shitty girl power band?” He asked, dread and boredom evident in his eyes.
“Have you ever been to Club Skunk? Her favourite band is playing there tomorrow night,” Beckendorf provided, disheartened by the quick shake of Luke’s head.
“I cannot be seen at Club Skunk.”
“But she’s gonna be there! She’s got tickets!” He protested, and Percy put a subtle hand on his arm.
“Dude, everyone you know is here. No one’s gonna see you at Club Skunk and think you’re less of a man or whatever. I’ll tell everyone you’re off in the woods smoking weed or something.” Luke looked at them for a long moment, seemingly considering the offer. Finally he agreed, and Beckendorf thought it may have just been to get them to go away, but he was happy enough.
Luke, having gotten over the humiliation it would be to go to Club Skunk, was more than interested at the new piece of information he’d just learned. He thought he was the only one who snuck out of camp, and he wondered how often you did it. Reasonably frequently, he guessed, since you were going to all the trouble to see a band that probably played around the state constantly. You just kept on surprising him, and though it was all a bit of an effort on his part, he had started to enjoy getting to know the parts of you that you kept hidden behind the icy exterior.
You, on the other hand, were getting really weirded out. You might’ve just been paranoid, but you were sure that the new Hephaestus kid who was friends with Percy kept staring at you. Even Percy glanced at you more than once during dinner, something you didn’t think had ever happened before — and you were not looking for attention from the camp’s golden boy, no matter how many times he’d probably saved your life by extension of his quests. Those two, coupled with Luke, whose attentions had inexplicably been focused on you for the last week, made you feel a bit like an animal on display; violently uncomfortable. As you left the meal you shot Beckendorf a nasty glare, somewhat satisfied when he jumped and averted his eyes. You shook your head in a physical attempt to clear the burdens of your thoughts. Soon you wouldn’t have to worry about any of the campers or the stupidity that flowed around the grounds.
About twenty minutes after the campfire started and the rest of the camp were safely together, you began the trek up to the Hamptons — the closest city with a venue. You waited anxiously for the bus to pick you up outside the camp lines, looking over your shoulder to ensure no one had caught you. If your adventures got around camp then Silena would absolutely tell your father as payback for being the reason she can’t date, and that was a whole new set of issues you really didn’t care to deal with. Luke, standing in the shadows watching, felt almost bad for spying on you. Almost.
You could feel your shoulders relax as you got further and further away from camp, the judgement and expectations of people you didn’t even like far behind you for the night. You’d been looking forward to this show since you got tickets with your friends during the school term, and you were determined to make it worth the pain of summer. And it really, really was. Your whole friend group had made it, making it a long awaited reunion, and the band was one you’d been following for years. You danced with all your energy, gleefully shouting lyrics and laughing loudly when you got them terribly wrong.
Luke watched this from his seat at the bar, entranced in your private bubble amongst the chaos. You were smiling — a rare sight at all at camp — but this was one he didn’t think he’d ever seen in all his years of knowing you. It wasn’t filled with pride like the ones you tried to conceal when you got a new record on the climbing wall or you finally beat Clarisse in a training match, nor was it the satisfied smirk you had when you put an egotistical camper in their place or beat up jerks like Ethan. Your smile was alight with joy; relaxed and wholehearted happiness that spread through the room and seemed infectious to anyone who passed you.
It was at that moment that Luke truly understood how you were a daughter of Aphrodite. The way the lights reflected off your hair and your eyes, the easy way you moved your body to the music, everything about you suddenly seemed perfect, and he wondered how he’d never noticed it before. Your appearance hadn’t changed drastically; your hair was loose instead of the practical up-do needed for camp, you wore a tight fitted crop top instead of the camp shirt and you might’ve had some glitter smeared around your eyes. All inconspicuous, ordinary things, yet you seemed like a brand new person. Luke decided he liked this version of you, and if this whole plan failed, at least he’d gotten a glimpse into your real world and behind the facade you hid with at camp.
He was ripped from his thoughts when he saw you make a drinking gesture to your friend, heading towards him unwittingly. He turned in his seat hurriedly, trying to act cool and unaware. You spotted him almost immediately, persona switching up as disgust crept back under your skin.
“If you’re going to ask me out again, could you just get it over with now so I can get back to enjoying my night?” You sighed, grabbing the water bottles from the bartender.
“Would you mind? You’re kind of ruining this for me.” Luke gestured around, hoping his acting chops were as good as he needed. You ignored it either way.
“You’re not surrounded by your usual cloud of smoke,” You noted, curiosity getting the better of you.
“I quit. Apparently they’re bad for you.” You raised an eyebrow, almost too surprised to come up with a quip.
“You did?” You hated how genuine it sounded and turned to go, sensing him get up to follow you.
“You know, I was watching you out there before,” He yelled over the music, “I’ve never seen you look so sexy.” In possibly the worst timing in history, the song ended and the entire club was treated to Luke’s compliment. You both flushed red, and you were unable to contain a small giggle — wildly uncharacteristic for you. Luke, to his credit, only had a mildly sheepish grin on his face, and continued to follow you across the dance floor. “Come to the Apollo party with me.” You couldn’t believe him! Here you were, miles from camp and he was still asking you out. Though, you couldn’t deny that he wasn’t quite as infuriating as you originally thought.
“You never give up, do you?” You gave a good natured sigh, ducking under someone’s arm to get to your friends.
“Was that a yes?”
“No.”
“Was it a no?”
“No!” You let out another laugh which floated over the crowd and straight to Luke. He couldn’t contain his own grin.
“I’ll pick you up at 9:30!” He yelled back. You gave no indication of having heard him apart from a momentary glance, and he couldn’t tell if the smile was directed at him or just a byproduct of your situation. He took it either way.
Having gone to the effort of sneaking away from camp, Luke decided to stay for the remainder of the concert and grudgingly decided the band wasn’t that bad. Not his style, sure, but he could kind of see why you liked them. Besides, these drinks were easier to get than the contraband ones he had to smuggle into camp.
Tired from a night on your feet dancing and feeling your pleasant buzz slipping away, you were less than charmed seeing Luke waiting for your bus. It made sense, obviously you were going the same place, but you didn’t want him to ruin your great night by pestering you about a date.
“What are you doing here?” You asked bluntly, eagerly sitting on the misshapen little bench.
“Getting home?” He trailed off, unsure of what you were looking for. “Besides, we’re a long way from camp and it’s late. Didn’t feel right leaving you here alone.” You hated that you thought it was sweet.
“Do you not think I can take care of myself?” You picked a fight instead, unwilling to be genuine with him. Luke wasn’t stupid enough to fall for it.
“I have complete faith in you,” He laughed, “I’m making sure you don’t kill whoever bothers you.” You let out a snort of a laugh accidentally. You tried to recover,
“It’ll be you if you’re not careful.” Somehow Luke didn’t believe you.
Surprisingly, the trip was almost pleasant. Luke had already gotten what he wanted from the night and the next phase of his plan was shaping up, so he knew bringing up your impending date would only sour your mood. Instead, when he plonked himself down in the seat next to you on the bus, you talked about mundane, silly things. He asked about the friends you were with and let you talk about your life in New York, waving you off when you started to feel guilty since he was at camp all year.
“There’s this really cool record store, we go there all the time. They have this huge bulletin board on one wall where these tiny little bands put up posters for random gigs with, like, fifty people there — it’s so sick, like the 90s I guess. Maybe —” You cut yourself off but Luke knew where you were going. Maybe I could show you. You would deny it if he brought it up, but he couldn’t contain his smile either way.
You were surprised that you had so much to talk about, briefly wondering why you’d never been friends with him before, but the conversation continued all the way to the camp border, where you both knew the risk of sneaking back in meant your night together was over. Once you got into camp there’d be people all around; campers should be in bed but counsellors often patrolled for a while, and many of the non-demigod folks around camp could be up and about well into the early hours of the morning.
“So, um, I’ll see you around?” His sudden shyness was unexpectedly charming, and you found yourself giving Luke a smile — a real one that made his heart flutter embarrassingly.
“Bye, Luke.” You held eye contact for a fraction longer than necessary before disappearing into the shadows. Luke watched you go, not quite starstruck but close to it. A rustle of the trees behind him spurred him into action, but the image of you on the dance floor played on repeat behind his eyes as he lay in his bunk.
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multific · 1 month
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Sweet Tooth
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Willy Wonka x PlusSize!Reader
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Willy watched you walk into his shop for the third time that week.
You looked around nervously. 
People around you kept shopping, not paying attention, but he did.
And just like the days before, you suddenly left his store.
You caught the attention of the young chocolatier about a month ago.
You looked around nervously, while you kept staring at the windows of the shop. It took you a month just to enter, Willy can only imagine how long it will take you to buy something.
So, he decided to do something about it.
---
"Be good now! I will get my new dress and we go home!"
"Of course, Mom." you smiled at your mother as she went into the shop.
You immediately headed to the Wonka store.
You bit your lip out of nervousness before entering.
You promised yourself, much like many times before, that this time you will buy a chocolate.
But each time, you ended up nervously walking around before leaving.
But this time, it only took you five minutes to actually enter the store. Many people were inside, you blended in pretty well.
Or at least you thought you did, a certain chocolatier definitely noticed your presence. You looked up at the beautiful cherry tree before moving to the shelves.
No one would know if you just bought one.
Just one.
That's all.
And yet, you were afraid.
You kept staring but not moving, people around you bought whatever they wanted, but not you.
Suddenly a beautiful rose was in your face and you stumbled for a moment, your focus shifting from the rose to the man holding it.
Mr Wonka himself. 
"Try it, it is delicious." he simply said and you took the rose from him.
"Wouldn't it be a shame to eat something so beautiful?" 
"The shame, My Lady, would be to let the chocolate melt without tasting it."
"You might be right, but I truly mustn't," you argue suddenly looking at the watch on the wall. You still had some time left.
"Why not? Chocolate is good for the soul."
"My parents would argue." your eyes suddenly snapped back at him, realizing that you have definitely overshared. "Sorry." you simply said before running out of the store, with your rose still in your hands.
You weren't sure how, but you managed to hide the rose from your parents and hid it in your room. 
Hoping it would never melt. 
But you also didn't eat it.
A couple of days later, however, you visited the shop and once again, Mr Wonka came up to you with a box of chocolates.
"I must say Mr. Wonka, your pretty rose seems to melt rather fast." 
"I must create something other than! The perfect chocolate which doesn't melt even when you hold it in the summer! But if I may ask, why didn't you just eat it?"
"My parents don't want me to eat sweets. You see I have a sweet tooth... and it is very apparent." you gestured at your figure.
"I don't see any problems with your figure, if anything I believe you are quite charming."
"Thank you." you felt the heat in your face and hoped he didn't realize how his compliment affected you.
"Just try one. I made them specially for you. With a hint of cherry." you took one of the chocolates from his box and popped it into your mouth.
"Oh wow." your eyes shined as you looked into his eyes. "This is wonderful!" the taste of pure chocolate with the hint of cherry and there was something else... something you couldn't quite point out, but it reminded you of your childhood, of happiness. Your grandma, the cakes he used to bake for you. "Thank you, Mr Wonka, it was delicious."
"Please, call me Willy." he smiled and you smiled back at him.
You didn't know then, but it was the start of something amazing.
After that day, you were no longer scared to enter his store, nor did you care about what your parents said.
Chocolate is where your happiness was.
The first time Willy brought you to his factory, you felt truly amazed.
It looked like such a happy place.
"I made this, just for you, I plan on launching them on Valentine's Day." you looked at the pink box in his hands, another colourful creation.
"What do you mean... made it for me?"
"You inspire me so much. I made this with all of your favourite things as a way to... to show you my feelings." you took one chocolate out of the box and popped it into your mouth. As you bit down, you immediately felt the feeling of pure joy. "The first time I ever laid my eyes on you, I still recall how stunned I was... such a beauty in my store. I felt like I was dreaming. And now, here I am, declaring my love, giving you not just this box but my heart as well. Will you take it and accept my feelings?"
Why did you feel like you already knew the answer? The doubt you had deep down, suddenly felt to have disappeared.
"I love you too, Willy." you smiled as fireworks went out around you, and he pulled you in for a simple yet meaningful kiss. 
"It seems like, my love for chocolate, gave me the love of my life." he said and you smiled from ear to ear.
Chocolate is where your love was.
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Taglist: @castellandiangelo @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl @manduse @jacalineiscomingforyou @mandoloriancookie @il0vebeingdelulu @deliciousfestsalad @groovyqueer @lilliumrorum
~Masterlist~
ˇAO3ˇ
/YOU DO NOT HAVE PERMISSION TO TRANSLATE OR REUPLOAD ANY OF MY WORKS TO THIS OR OTHER PLATFORMS/
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vernons-girl · 2 months
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never stopped loving you | lee dino
angsty but sweet,wc:0.9k
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A few months back you broke up with your boyfriend Dino.
And you might ask, why would you break up with such a nice boyfriend ?
Well, you were not feeling good. You did not feel like yourself anymore, and nothing felt right, nor fully real. So you decided you needed to spend some time alone to focus on yourself and only yourself because you did not want to hurt anyone’s feeling or make them feel bad about the way you were feeling yourself. So you broke up with your boyfriend. Because he was affected by your state, and you noticed it.
Sometimes you would have mood swings and push him away, he wanted to help you though, he really did, but you knew he could not. He was not the problem but you did not want your relationship with him to become a part of it, so you put an end to it.
The thing is, during that phase you were angry, sad and in pain, but mostly angry. So that resulted in you breaking up with him in a fit of rage without giving him any real motive for your actions, he knew you were not feeling good, so he did not ask more questions and left.
But now, a few months later you felt better, but also guilty. Guilty about the way you treated him at the end of your relationship and guilty about how you broke up with him. So one evening you decided to text him and asked if he wanted to grab breakfast with you, and very much to your surprise, he immediately agreed.
So here you were, waiting for him at your non-officially designated table in your favorite signature café. You were anxiously chewing on your bottom lip, scrapping of the lip balm you had put on earlier in the morning, playing with your fingers you did not see him coming by your table.
“You will never get rid of that habit, won’t you ?” a voice said, you looked up to be met with him, Dino.
He had not changed much, his hair was slightly longer and his efforts to the gym had obviously paid off but he was still the same, he was still your Dino.
"Hello ? Earth to Y/N ?” he waved his hand in front of you, getting your attention back even though your mind stuck to the way your name rolled out of his tongue.
“Yeah sorry.. Please sit down !” you said pointing to the empty spot in front of you.
And he did just that, “Have you ordered yet ?” he asked, “Yes I did! I ordered for you, I hope you still like the same things from here though, I should’ve asked I am sorry !” you apologized, feeling your face get hotter.
He chuckled, god you had missed hearing his breathy laugh, “Don’t worry, some habits don’t change” he replied.
The waiter brought you guys your drinks and snacks, breaking the awkward silence that had taken place, “Enjoy your drinks.” he politely said before walking away, leaving you once again with your ex boyfriend.
“So..” he started, “Why did you want us to meet up ?” he asked.
“Well, I feel like I owe you some explanations about the last time we saw each others” you began, receiving a nod from him signaling you to continue.
“So as you know, I was not feeling the best when I ended things between us and I did not make you come here to give any excuse for what I have done, I just want - no I need to explain why I did it. I hated feeling that way but I also hated that you had to put up with it, and I know you dealt with it amazingly and the best you could, but it hurt me to see how my mental state could affect you. I did not feel like my old self, like the Y/N you fell in love with so I pushed you away before you could do the same. I thought that doing this would avoid unnecessary damages even though I was aware it was going to hurt one of us, if not both. But I felt like I had to do it for myself, for you and for us. And I know lots of time passed by but if you still love me, or at least have a tiny bit of faith left for us, I wondered if you could give me - us - another shot.. Because I miss you and I still love you, I’ve never stopped loving you.” you finished, letting out a big breath you did not know you were holding before focusing on the face of the man who was sitting in front of you.
He was smiling, that smile, you missed that too, you missed him.
“I’ve missed you too Y/N, and I’ve never stopped loving you either. I knew you were going through a rough time and I knew it was best for you and for our relationship to give you time and space. And I am glad I did.” he confessed, putting the brightest smile that had ever been on your face.
“Now get up from that sit and come sit next to me.” he said.
He pulled your closer next to him, turned your face towards his, delicately placed your chin between his fingers before lovingly, passionately kissing you, saying all the things words could not express.
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