Could you elaborate more on akutagawa bringing out atsushi's cruel side and atsushi bringing out akutagawa's kinder side? Despite everything i do think there were moments where atsushi held akutagawa's strength in high regard and felt inferior to him but denies this by constantly mocking akutagawa and reminding him that he lost in their first fight. Ngl i really love how atsushi can be himself around akutagwa, he doesn't need to be the atsushi that everyone loves, he can be the atsushi that only he can love 😭
Okay I've talked about this plenty so you might want to check out these posts (1) (2) (3) (4); on Akutagawa's good nature (1) (2); on Atsushi's mean nature (1) (2) (3)
My final take is: it's true, Atsushi brings out Akutagawa's kind side and Akutagawa brings out Atsushi's cruel side. But it shouldn't be left at that, risking of running into the error of reducing their relationship to an oversimplifying formula. It's true, Atsushi is mean around Akutagawa and Akutagawa is kind around Atsushi; but what we should really focus on is the fact that they manage to bring out a side of each other that other characters don't. Which is a good thing! It means that they can be their true selves, letting go of the fear of judgement and abandonment, because they know they're okay with each other. And I'm positive that yes, although it initially manifested with Atsushi being straight up a jerk to Akutagawa, it's not going to stop at that; because if it's true that Akutagawa brings to light facets of Atsushi's nature that don't usually emerge, it's also true that Atsushi's true nature isn't all evil and nothing else. First off, Atsushi is also manifestly more confident around Akutagawa, he's more brave and cool. He's sassy and sharp, he's blunt and stops overthinking things. Who knows if, once he's grown more affectionate of Akutagawa, once he's changed his mind about him, that will also translate in him being more open about how much he admires Akutagawa? Personally, I like to believe it will (Atsushi's love language being words of affirmation which is exactly what Akutagawa needs, eheh). After all, the “If you asked me, I'd say Dazai-san has already recognized you long ago” (which I've said, probably made Akutagawa fall right then and there) likely didn't come from a place of high esteem as much as it was just Atsushi honestly expressing his thoughts, unfiltered in front of Akutagawa. Then, just think of what he could tell him once his feelings for Akutagawa have morphed from simple animosity to something positive!
To me sskk really is:
It's unpealing each layer till they're completely naked in front of each other, but God knows if having someone they can be utterly vulnerable with isn't exactly what they need. And yes, that started off as Atsushi being extremely rude to Akutagawa, but I'm sure it's not going to stop at that. It's going to develop in Atsushi being comforted by Akutagawa saying “do we need any more?” because having each other is truly all they need, and it's going to develop in Atsushi softly smiling at Akutagawa because no one else could make him feel safe and serene as he does.
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9 people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @greypetrel - thank you! <3
Last Song: Francesca - Hozier (the song is amazing, and I can't help but think it was somehow inspired by the story of Paolo e Francesca in Dante's Divine Comedy).
Currently Watching: ... nothing? I'm terrible with shows because I often end up rewatching my favourites instead of catching up with the newest releases - or I just do other stuff instead (unless it's a period drama, let's be real).
Currently Reading: parallel-reading Rinascimento anticlericale by Ottavia Niccoli (lots of topics that I used to study at Uni- it feels like meeting again a bunch of old friends) and a (very good) fantasy book written by a friend.
Current Obsession: Dragon Age, no questions - thank you, Arja :P
I'm playing at snail-like pace the second one, and so far I'm really enjoying it (meta storytelling? a city as a character, almost a living organism, albeit a rotten one? queer characters all around? YES).
Will I try to install&play Inquisition too even if technically my pc is not that powerful? Ahaha... yes.
Too tired to think of 9 people, but maaaybe @birdkeeperklink wants to share? No pressure tho!
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Hermit Horror Week 2023
Day two: Environment
Summary: xB wants to support his friend, but there’s something about his base that feels wrong. He can’t bring himself to leave, no matter how much he knows he should.
Read on ao3
Contains: unreliable narrator, a character being non-consensually drugged (implied + in a magical way), loss of free will (strongly implied), panic attacks, fairy folklore, suffocation mention, weird time shenanigans
“So dude, have you seen my base yet?”
xB looks up from the diamonds he’d been counting, “Hmm? No, I haven’t. You’re doing like, mushrooms or something, right?” So far, his and Hypno’s business has been doing great. They’ve been getting quite a few sales lately, to say nothing of the IOU collection they’re racking up. They’re making bank.
“Yep! Like a mushroom forest, mystical land kinda thing,” Hypno takes the diamonds xB hands him, “You should totally see it! I’ve finished the main mushroom and a bunch of decoration around the place, it looks so cool.”
“I’ll take your word for it. I’m happy to head over now, if you want?”
They head over there by foot, instead of by elytra. It’s… a little weird, but xB doesn’t mind, he thinks Hypno wants to show off the custom lamps he’s made for the path. It’s quite atmospheric, he’ll admit, with the towering dark oaks letting only small puddles of sunshine hit the ground, and the glowing fungi beckoning them forward. It’s magical.
They seem to walk for ages, wandering down the twisting path. At one point, xB turns around, just to see what’s behind them. There’s nothing. It’s pure black, no sign of the pretty little lamps they just passed. xB swivels back to Hypno, about to voice his concerns, but Hypno starts talking about dye farms and making concrete and xB just kind of forgets about it. It’s not too much of a concern, anyway. The further in they go, the more xB realises how safe it is. Like, initially he was super concerned of a creeper crawling out from the forest, with how dark it was outside the path, but he actually hasn’t seen a single creature other than them. He can’t even hear the birds sing here. Hypno must have done some mad mob-proofing.
Eventually, the trees open out and he looks at Hypno’s hard work and instantly his stomach drops. His mind is screaming at him to get out. He needs to leave. His heart is thundering. His eyes squeeze closed. Then, he feels Hypno’s comforting hand on his shoulder and it’s all okay. He blinks a little and looks up at his friend.
“Is everything alright xB?” he’s frowning.
“Yeah, I’m just- I felt on the verge of a panic attack for a second there but, now it’s all gone,” his face feels a bit wet, is he crying?
“Are you sure? We can go back if you’d like, I don’t want to continue if you’re hurt,” Hypno looks concerned.
“No, no, it’s all fine. It might be like, hay fever from all these mushroom spores,” he says. As he says it, he knows it makes absolutely no sense, but he wants Hypno to stop worrying.
“Alright,” Hypno seems to buy it, his tone becoming more playful, “You know, you can just admit you’re jealous of how cool my base is, xB!”
“I am not jealous, we all know, out of the two of us, I got the cooler base. M’kay?” he smiles, feeling a bit better. They’ve crossed over a barrier of tiny mushrooms in front of the path, seeming to circle around the whole area. Inside, there’s a field of beautiful light green grass, home to all sorts of fungi Hypno’s been cultivating. They’re mainly red and white, with some brown, but they’re in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Throughout the area, there are fairy lights and lanterns and fireflies and they all glow in the darkening dusk sky. When they left Horse Head Farms, it was mid-morning, xB remembers. It’s funny how fast time passes.
Most of the mushrooms seem decorative, but the larger ones have been made into buildings. There are cute little doors carved into the trunks and signs that say things like “Storage” or “Farms”. One particularly thick and pretty mushroom has been decorated a lot, he assumes it must have been Hypno’s starter base.
“I can’t believe you’re living in Smurf village, dude,” xB giggles.
Hypno punches his arm, “This is not a Smurf village! It’s a fairy realm. Get it right, xB.”
xB’s mouth feels dry. He knows that word. Fairy. Right now, he can’t think of what it means. He nods. He looks at the giant mushroom in the centre of the base.
It’s obviously the centrepiece, towering over every other mushroom. It’s incredibly beautiful. Hypno leads them to the front entrance. xB feels sick looking up at the gills of the mushroom. He can almost imagine the microscopic spores floating down, filling their mouths, suffocating them. Spore particles would probably be good to add, the movement would make the build more dynamic. He’ll tell Hypno later. Hypno drags xB into his home. The wooden staircase looks very nice, Hypno’s done a pretty good job on the spiral. They run up it together. The air smells sweet, almost sickly. After a very short tour, they come back outside - Hypno hasn’t finished the interiors yet. He’s surprised he was allowed to leave, he thought Hypno would trap him there forever, not that he’d mind.
Hypno is looking at him, “So what do you think of my base, xB?”
xB thinks. He thinks about the amazing lights and the vibrant colours and the magical aura. He thinks about Hypno, who’s one of his best friends, who has worked so hard on this base, who xB would do anything he asks him to do. That’s weird, he’s able to realise. He likes Hypno but Hypno is also sometimes very annoying, and other times, xB just likes to mess with him. He wouldn’t do everything Hypno wants. He thinks about all the people willingly signing their IOUs. Is xB willingly answering Hypno’s question? Not that he has any choice, he has to answer it regardless. He wonders if Hypno’s human. He always assumed he was, not having any visible non-human traits, but sometimes the signs are more subtle. He’s thinking too hard.
“Hmm, it’s alright,” he says, “My base is still better.”
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