#sorry i know it’s been days but i am still very much HERE
Text
part one.
𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 : hope you liked this part two. think I could’ve done better 🥹 it was originally meant to be a happy ending but I thought how would hanahaki ever have a good ending? not proofread.
𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 : @creative1writings @rmanji @megumisthirdog @jiupark @rjt017 @slvt4erenx @mistymuii @legbouk @asunalinphea !!
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐖𝐎𝐊𝐄 to pristine white, and a flashing light blinding your vision. You peeled your eyes open, finally registering the horrible ache in your throat that sent stabbing pain down into your chest every time you swallowed.
You only knew of blurred moments and the stark red of your blood. The only memories you could recollect of the night before. The night you had coughed up the whitest flower you’d seen in all your life, and it had come from your very stomach.
For some odd reason, the thought didn’t scare you as much as it should have. It was tantalising beautiful in a way that moved the flesh beating within your ribs.
It was a reminder of the love you would never get. The love you were dying for.
You pulled yourself up into a sitting position, finally taking notice of the room you were in. A hospital room. It’s wall’s so white they were hurting your eyes. You lay hooked to an IV ans countless other machines you didn’t know, and didn’t care for.
How had you lived? The seeding pain that had been in your throat and stomach and chest felt as if you had swallowed fire and were burning from within. You were sure you were going to die, you knew you were going to die. So how had you lived—?
The door creaked open, revealing white hair and blue eyes and a face you knew everything about, but suddenly had become so foreign to you. You had memorised the slope of his nose and the sharp outline of his cheekbones, even the light scar that lay above his right eyebrow one could only see in the dark of night.
‘‘…how are you feeling…?’’ He whispered out, taking a seat beside your bed on the sole chair there. You fiddled with your fingers, twisting the pulse oximeter that lay on your index.
‘‘i’m okay… how are you?’’ Because you had to ask. Because even in your state, you still saw the bags under his eyes and worried for him like a mother fretting over her sick child. Not that you would know much of that either.
Satoru stares at you, then the tubes attached to you and back. His eyes are wallowed in a feeling of sadness you have known all too well. ‘‘…why didn’t you tell us? Shoko? Suguru? Me?..’’
It is ironic to say the least because you know he knows the answer to his own question but he asks anyway. He wants to hear it from your lips, none else, but the regretful look in your eye is too much for him to bare.
‘‘…you know why, satoru. You know why. Don’t… make me say it.’’ You murmur, eyes glued on the view outside the window, watching as the clouds move lazily across the blue sky. It is a beautiful day, you think. One you shouldn’t be suffering on, but when had you ever been able to control the order of things?
Your response is all Satoru needs before he places his white head in his hands, his black shades falling to ground with a clank. The sound reverberates throughout the quiet room in the wake of your answer. You feel sorry. You didn’t want him to grow through such pain and regret.
‘‘…don’t blame yourself Satoru.’’
‘‘…how can I not? When I am the reason you are here? I am the reason you are dying!’’ He croaks out, tears now falling down his cheeks like crystals in the light of the sun shining through the open window. The humming of the machines beside your bed fills your head but still, your eyes are trained on his.
You smile, small and bittersweet. ‘‘It is not your fault Satoru.’’ You grab the hand that covers his eyes, slowly pulling the fingers that dig into his flawless skin away.
‘‘You could not have stopped it. Don’t feel guilty for not loving me back, that isn’t your fault. Now go and enjoy the sun, it’s a beautiful day today.’’
You urge him to leave, not that you want him to leave, no, you would’ve wanted him to stay by your side for eternity but you would never admit that. You wanted him to go and enjoy the day and not be by your doomed side.
He hesitates at the threshold of the door, turning his head back to look at you but you already turned away, your face gazing at the sun, and he wants to say you look magnificent, beautiful as the light falls on your face in just the right places but he decides against it. It would only cause more harm to an open wound. But he count help but feel as he closed the door that there was a certain sense of finality he couldn’t Brian off the situation..
You hear the door click closed, and you feel a pang in your chest. Selfishly, you didn’t want him to go. You wanted him by your side. To kiss you. To show you he loved you like how you loved him but you knew that was a fleeting dream you would never hold onto.
It was sand in your palm and it fell through the cracks between your finger and away, never to be caught again. Satoru was all the colours blended into one at full brightness to you. He was brighter than the sun to you. It was no shocker the room looked so dull after he left.
Later that day, after your friends each individually visited you, wishing you well and health. You sneaked out of your hospital room. The IV and tubes having long been taken off your arms, you walked freely for the first time in hours.
You found yourself on the roof of the hospital, a light breeze passing through the empty place. The night was beautiful, the stars twinkling ever brighter than you’d ever seen them. It was truly a sight to see.
Your eyes were glued on the dark sky, looking and searching for what? You didn’t know but you still kept looking. Maybe it was the hope you had at the beginning of all of this, that maybe you’d get better and somehow be saved, or was it the pain you’d felt from the unfairness of it all.
Suddenly, out of the blue, a cough racked your body, causing you to double over to catch your breath. You hands flew to your throat, as if to ease the coughs you knew would never stop hurting. The pain was horrible, debilitating and you couldn’t breathe.
The sharp ache in your chest intensified as you coughed up something after what felt like an eternity of coughing. Your hand came away from your mouth, stained in deep scarlet.
Lying on the floor was not a flower like how you thought it would’ve been, but two single petals. Even in the darkness, the white of one of the petals was not easily missed. Even from the patches of blood soaking it’s thin material, you could see the colour of snow on the ground. The other petal however, was the darkest black you’d ever seen.
It blended into the darkness and if the white petal had not been lying on-top of it, seemingly glued together by blood, you would’ve never noticed it.
The ache in your limbs intensified even more. The now ringing in your ears was becoming too hard to ignore and the world faded in and out in colours of grey, blue and white. You were so terribly tired.
In more ways than others, you thought as you sat down on the ground. Taking a sharp inhale that only caused you to cause more pain shooting down your chest.
You were so irrevocably tired. Tired of everything. It was no wonder when you lay on the cold surface of the rooftop, your head leaning into its coldness, finding its comfort that when you peered up st the stars, finding comfort in the millions of dots of all colours in the sky, that when you closed your eyes forever, that you closed them eternally.
© VAAMINS 24 do not copy, repost or plagiarise my work.
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen angst#jujutsu kaisen#gojou satoru x reader#jjk angst#satoru gojo x reader#satoru gojo fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#gojo satoru#gojo angst#gojo satoru angst#gojo satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#satoru gojo#jujustu kaisen#jjk
91 notes
·
View notes
Text
𝘔𝘶𝘴𝘩𝘺 𝘔𝘢𝘺
𝘋𝘢𝘺 𝘚𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯: 𝘓𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘋𝘪𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘤𝘦
Rating: T
Pairing: Aether/Dew but also Aether/Everyone
Word Count: 986
Featuring: Some angst and a bad dirty joke or two.
Also could count for "telling stupid jokes" which was the actual day 7 prompt because Dew is Dew and I couldn't resist.
Many thanks to the amazing @forlorn-crows for putting Mushy May together again.
And to @ghuleh-recs for the divider which I am mildly obsessed with.
It’s worse than he thought. He thought staying would be easy, but it’s clear the moment the buses pull away that it’s leaving that’s the easy part. Staying is agony.
Aether knows he’s made the right choice. That Aeon is ready and the Ministry needs him here and that he and Sunny will be fine.But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
He watches the driveway until the dust settles, and then he turns his back, his pack out of sight, and walks back into the Abbey proper. Sunshine had already gone inside–a meeting with Imperator she said. But Aether thinks maybe she just wanted some time to herself–he doesn’t blame her.
Aether keeps busy for the first couple weeks. Picks up extra shifts at the infirmary. He works most nights. The idea of climbing into an empty bed in the middle of the night makes his chest hurt–it’s easier to do it in the day time when he can imagine that the rest of his pack is going about their day–not gone.
He talks to them on the phone every day. Dew video calls him from the bus after every show. Swiss texts him pictures of all of the weird snacks he buys. Cumulus sends him beautiful landscapes, and little I miss yous. They call call him–he speaks to at least one of them a day, usually more.
The missing goes both ways. But they’re busy. He isn’t. Even with extra shifts, and begging Imperator for things to do–he even offers to help with taxes, which is a huge mistake, he still feels like he’s got too much time to think.
He walks the grounds. Sits at the lake on warm summer days and thinks about how unfair it is that Rain is trapped on a bus and not here floating. He offers to help Sunshine take care of Mountain’s plants, but she waves him off. She’s been given very specific instructions, and one of them is to not let Aether anywhere near the greenhouse.
He and Sunny cling to each other like a lifeline on harder nights. Especially once the rest of their pack has gone overseas and the timezones get more and more ridiculous to manage. They nap together, curled up in swatches of sunlight like cats. Aether wakes up warm, and comfortable, and loved and still feeling like one of his limbs has been removed.
Dew calls him early one morning–before the sun is even up. It’s late wherever he is. Dark. Aether can barely see his face on the video call. Aether sits up in bed and rubs the sleep from his eyes.
“Dew?”
“Shit sorry, timezones. Forgot how early it is there. I can call later–”
“No,” Aether says quickly. Trying to force himself to look more awake. He turns on the light next to his bed. “No. No it’s fine. I’m up. Don’t go.”
There must be something in his voice. A hitch. A tilt in pitch. Because Dew’s mouth pulls down just a little. A tiny frown of worry that Aether wishes he could reach through the screen and smooth away.
“Not going anywhere, Starlight,” Dew promises. His bunk light switches on and Aether can see him better. Sitting up in the corner of his bunk. Phone resting on his knees. He’s eating chips from a bag that looks familiar.
“Are you eating those weird chips Swiss got?”
Dew nods. “I’m the only one who likes them. They’re good weird you know? You’d hate them.”
Aether watches him chew and feels the ache start to ebb, just a little. The same way it always does when he gets one of his packmates to himself for a minute. When things feel unhurried and he can talk to them like they’re sitting next to him instead of a continent away.
“Swiss said they tasted like ass.”
“Probably why I like them,” Dew shrugs. Aether snorts. He smooths his hand over his face, dragging his fingers through the mess of his hair.
“How many more weeks?” Aether asks, can’t help it.
“Three,” Dew answers without hesitation. “Not that I’m counting.”
“I am,” Aether admits.
Dew frowns again, a little deeper. He looks at the screen a little too directly and Aether feels like he’s being seen in a way he isn’t ready for.
“Yeah, Sunshine said you’ve been moping.”
“I haven’t been moping!”
Dew rolls his eyes. “Whatever. But just–you know we miss you too right? Like you’re not just stuck at home missing us while we have this grand adventure. It’s tour. It’s boring and humans are stupid and the food is awful. And it’s not the same without you.”
“Isn’t Aeon doing–”
“Aeon’s fine. He’s good. He’s kicking ass every night but you know that isn’t what I mean. It isn’t all about the music you know.”
Aether’s chest constricts. “I know.”
“Nineteen days,” Dew says after a minute. He rolls the chip bag closed and for a minute that’s all Aether can hear, the ungodly crinkle of whatever magic material chip bags are made out of. “Less than three weeks.”
“You are counting.” Aether teases.
“Of course I’m counting,” Dew counters. “I’ve been counting since the day we left.”
“You love touring.”
“Yup,” Dew agrees, nodding. “I do. I still do. But I love you too, and just because I’m happy to be out here doesn’t mean I also don’t want to be there. I miss my bed. And being able to cook a meal that doesn’t come in a styrofoam cup. And you.”
Aether feels his chest crack open, but this time it feels good. Warm. Like he really can reach out over all of these miles and slide his hand into Dew’s–just for a second.
“You just miss me for my ass,” Aether teases. Awake now, and warm and loved despite his empty bed.
Dew laughs. “Well, I mean, it does taste better than those chips.”
#Comet writes#mushy may 2024#Dewther#Dewdrop/Aether#Aether Ghoul#Dewdrop Ghoul#Ghost fanfiction#ghost fanfic#ghost fic#the band ghost fanfiction#the band ghost fanfic#the band ghost fic#nameless ghoul fanfic
71 notes
·
View notes
Text
F1 Tag Game! Tag some people you'd like to get to know better!
Tagged by: No one, I'm a force to be reckoned with.
Who is your favorite driver?: George Russell!
Do you have other favorite drivers?: Alex Albon, Pierre Gasly, Lando Norris, Oscar Piastri, Charles Leclerc - I like all but 3, really.
Who is your least favorite driver?: Sighs, I don't like admitting to this, but...It's a toss up between three. I'll just name one for now - Alonso.
Do you pull for drivers or do you like teams as well?: I pull for both, really!
If you like teams, what team do you pull for?: Ferrari, Williams, Alpine, McLaren.
How long have you been into F1?: I've watched casually (VERY casually) for a few years but I haven't actually FOLLOWED the sport until the start of this season.
What got you into F1?: My fiancé rekindled my love and got me and my entire family into it right after my grandmother passed literally days before the start of the season. He really brought us a lot of light in a time where we needed it most.
Do you enjoy Fanfic/RPF?: I do. RPF is just a fantasy play world, like a dollhouse. Holds no bearing on the real world - as long as you can separate the two, you're good.
How do you view new fans?: No issue. We were all new fans once, weren't we? Some may barge in with wild takes and hell I probably still do, but overall I think they are just looking to find some friends to help them learn the sport a bit better and then will be integral parts of the fandom once they acclimate!
If you could take over as team principal for any team, who would it be and why?: That's such a stressful job and I am not built for stress. It would have to be like, jesus, I can't really pick. I would do no better than anyone up there doing it right now LOL but I guess it would be COOL to pull Williams up from the depths, yeah? Sorry, James.
Are your friends and family into F1 as well?: Yeah! My parents and sister (and BIL) are into it, my grandpa enjoys it, my fiancé, and then a few of my best friends really enjoy it as well!
Are you open to talking to other fans/making friends?: Always. That's pretty much the only reason I'm here aside from just showcasing my love.
Tagging: @13834 @chilling-seavey @camilleisback @watercolor-hearts @alex-kresnik
@placna @thatsluttylittlesoupcanwaist @alpinegasly @abovecalamity @ohblimeygeorge
@mrgasly @osh-my-prince @oscar-hourglass-piastri @kissingwalls @peachyy-tea
@theluckyalien @faithshouseofchaos @scrappyracers @williams-spare-chassis
@grnherbs @afriques @memoriesofyellow @oscarrrpiastri @georgegraphys
@allphatauri @rubywingsracing @canihavemyhoodieback @landoom
@knut-ut @garykingz @future-oscarwinner @blimeycrikeygeorge @cacklingblobbittyrabbitty
@verstappen1-fan @geochals @ablogtocheck @luna-sibuna-trying @moodymoony71
@ribenab @litany-writes @llenne-siu
@starssfall @petrifying-risotto @its-avalon-08 @spabutterfly @vaniadels
@gnatthefly @1df1fan
I tried to tag everyone I most often see in my notes/in my DMs/in my inbox and who are mutuals <3
#formula 1#f1#formula one#tag game#f1 tag game#ya'll dont have to do this just because i tagged you either#just fyi#only if you want to!
54 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hi, I know it's been a while but it's allo (autistic? unsure what tag to use) anon here again. I just wanted to say congratulations on the project! I showed it to my girlfriend and she was really happy, when it comes out we will definitely read it together. I am proud to see you doing new and exciting things, and I wish you nothing but the best in your future endeavors! You're doing amazing already and I look forward to seeing you continue on whatever path you want to take with your creative work :)
Sorry I didn't message again sooner, things in real life have been... a lot. I still try to check this blog when I can. Your art is still adorable, and I also wanted to say thank you for your comics about fandom and the stuff that people say to aro/ace people. As someone who is very invested in media analysis(TM) and fandoms, I have noticed some behaviour that is really weird and uncomfortable, and it's good to see other people speaking out about it.
Also, not to decenter your experience, but the comic about labels really hit home for me. When I first got diagnosed it explained so much about my struggles and why I felt the way I did. It was groundbreaking to understand that I wasn't just a broken person or full of character flaws, but that things like sensory issues were just part of being who I am. I don't know if you meant it this way, but I really love the yellow colour of the thought bubbles and the little flowers. I know some people say it's pathologizing or too restrictive to cling to labels so much, but it really is a relief to be given something that helps you understand yourself and feel so much less alone. I am glad you were able to find your identity and community. It's so cool that now you get to make those posts, and probably reach others!
I just wanted to pop in again and say I love your stuff, and it's so cool to see other people loving and engaging with it too. I hope you have a wonderful day/night, passe une bonne journée/nuit <3
P. S. I hope that's how you say it, I'm using google translate.
Heyyyy!!^^ Thank you so much for reaching out again and for all the encouragement and support! I hope you and your girlfriend are doing OK^^ And please don't apologize for not reaching out for a while, I'm happy whenever you do at all but it's very fair to have a lot going on otherwise! If anything I hope things are a bit easier now, so to speak.
Also don't worry about decentering my experience by sharing yours when you relate! I'm a big believer in intersectional discussion, I think people from marginalised groups could benefit a great deal from standing together to defend common interests, and if we can relate to each other's experiences in some way even just a little, although we know and acknowledge they're all different, I'm sure we can go a long way. So I sincerely appreciate you sharing, honestly!! (I'm also really grateful you liked the way I graphically conveyed it, that is a challenge in and of itself^^)
Again, thank you so much for all the positive feedback and support, and thanks for taking the time to add some French in as well, very kind of you^^
Hope you have a great day ahead!
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
a pocket full of soul
pairing- sirius black x auror!reader
warning(s)- hurt/comfort.
a/n- don't get used to the sap ya'll it ain't lasting long 🥰.
little train.
series masterlist.
there was somebody at your door. knocking away like a maniac, about to break your wall, if you must. pushing up your reading glasses to your read you walked towards the door, book in hand, afraid of losing the page you’d been reading. you peeped through the eyehole.
it was sirius. clad in a soft cotton t-shirt, paired with black jeans, he stood in front of the door, his hands carrying a beautiful bouquet of white roses. you opened the door, and he smiled wolfishly, sparing his white teeth.
‘let me in?’ he asked, handing you the bouquet. you moved aside, nodding your head.
‘please, make yourself comfortable.’
‘thank you, sweetheart,’ he said. his gray eyes raked over your figure clad in nothing but a hot pink silk pyjamas. your hair was put up messily into a bun and your nose covered in a mask to extract out blackheads.
‘uhh, i’m sorry I’ll go freshen up myself.’ he let out a bark like laughter.
‘honey, if there’s anybody who needs to be fresh within the walls of your home, then it’s me, not you. be comfortable, this is your house.’ you laughed at his silly comment, gesturing him to sit down on the sofa.
‘do you like the flowers? i can only hope you’re not allergic to them…’
‘i’m not, don’t worry. but what do i owe this sweet gesture to?’ he raised his left eyebrow, looking at you sceptically.
‘why, do you think sweet gestures are supposed to owe the other party something?’ you stuttered,
‘i-ah well, no.’
‘i can see you lying. if i must, i’m great at occlumency.’ you made a very fast attempt to block out your thoughts.
‘i’m an auror, i too am skilled at occlumency! doesn’t mean i go around reading other people’s thoughts!’ you exclaimed, throwing a pillow at him. he laughed, gesturing you to sit down.
‘can you get me a cuppa? i need to ask you something.’ he said. you sat down beside him, wandlessly summoning a cup, hot boiling water, a tea bag and a tray of sugar cubes.
‘i’m sorry i don’t have the kind you drink…i’m just the good old tea bag person…i don’t have too much tea…i’m not very fond of it…’ you drawled. putting in a couple of sugar cubes into the cup with hot water. you dipped the bag into the cup, then carefully handed it to him. he hummed gratefully,
‘it’s fine, sweetheart,’ the nickname rolled of his tongue so sweetly rasp, it made your stomach burst into intense collywobbles. ‘don’t me sorry. i know you prefer coffees…what was that? salted caramel lattes and a butter cookie.’ you gasp playfully.
‘you remember!’
‘of course, i remember. but actually, remind me to buy you a pack of butter cookies the next time i come back here.’
‘i can buy my own, you know that right?’
‘i mean, i do. it’s just fun to gift stuff other people.’ you hummed, nodding your head in reply.
‘i saw harry today.’ he said, taking a slow sip. you stare at him. he’s got his head lowered, as if he’s ashamed of something. he doesn’t quite meet your eyes.
‘did you?’ you whisper. you see his hands shake-the one he holds the cup with. he sniffs, as if trying to hold back tears.
‘i bought gifts for him you know? for his birthday. it’s in two days. but i still haven’t figured out how to give them to him. hell, i didn’t even know what my godson would like. god i feel awful.’ he whispers. after what seems like an eternity, he stares into your eyes.
‘it’s not your fault, sirius.’ you asserted, reaching for his shaking hand. he nods.
‘but you know, i just… feel like it is. even though it is not and i know i’m being unreasonable with my irrational way of thinking…but i can’t help but feel so fucking awful.’ you listen to every word he spills from his lips.
‘i understand, sirius.’
‘dumbledore told me he’d left him within the care of petunia-lily’s sister, and her husband. but i saw how they treated the poor boy today. he was carrying a huge heavy bag of groceries while petunia’s boy was kicking her all the way through the street for a bag of candies. what horrendous manners the boy had! while harry looked so sickly and thin and pale…yet somehow a carbon copy of james,’ he stops midway before chuckling ‘but he’s got lily’s eyes of course. i turned into padfoot, and followed them to see where they live.’ you nod, allowing him to continue. he squeezes your hand harder.
‘i’ve found where they live. i came here to ask you of a favor.’
‘what, sirius? i’ll help you if i can.’ you ask.
‘well, i’d like if you’d… you know act as a sales person and show up on their step trying to sell goods…’
*-
the helmet on your head was heavy and tight. you rolled your eyes, gripping his shoulder hard as sat on the motorcycle. he whirred the engine.
‘are you ready?’ you nodded. from the mirror, you could see his bright wide smile as you clang onto him like a koala.
‘you’re not afraid, are you?’ he asked.
‘no.’
how sirius black had had you agreeing to this idea was of mystery. but you supposed it some sort of pity you felt for him. and somehow hated yourself for pitying him. he was the strongest and the bravest man you knew…yet here you were, pitying on him. or perhaps it wasn’t pity. maybe you just wanted to provide him the company he needed-he desired to get back on track on like. you remembered him to be a social butterfly as a young teen.
perhaps you were allowing yourself to be drained by his presence so that he wouldn’t be stuck on the parallels of death and paradise.
‘just hold on tight, and we’ll be off.’ he said. you wrapped your arms tenderly around his waist, gently striding your chin upon his shoulder. your thighs were parallel to his, the skin touching.
‘are you gonna fly?’ you asked timidly, apparently not very concealing about your fear. sirius couldn’t help but smile.
‘i was thinking, but now that you’re with me, i think rather against of it. you might crush my ribs.’
‘sirius black i’ll wipe that grin right off your face,’ you threatened. sirius merely laughed, apparently not very afraid of your threat. there was no reason to be-if you were quite honest with yourself, it was really only an empty threat. you slightly pinched his chest.
‘ouch, you hurt me, sweetheart,’
‘fly off black,’ you demanded.
‘oh, so we’re using last names now?’ he asked, grinning. ‘as you say, sweetheart,’ he said, whirring his engine and pushing off onto the sky. you unconsciously held onto his waist, tighter than intended to. the wind bites you on your face, and you hide it into the crook of his neck. he chuckles slightly, goosebumps kissing his skin as your warmth breathe fans over his cold neck.
‘i thought you wouldn’t be afraid?’ he teases.
‘just look ahead of you!’ you exclaim.
‘there’s nothing we’d bump into! except the birds of course.’ he’s right, of course, but you feel a twinge in your stomach every time he teases you. it’s a weird juxtaposition to be stranded upon, you think, because you really aren’t one who’s likes it when somebody teases you-you aren’t one who’s up for banter either. you find it to be quite obnoxious too, spewing unnecessary nonsense for the fun of it.
yet, somehow when sirius does it, your heart leaps with joy, and you feel yourself loosen up around him-comfortable around him.
you look down as you whir past the city lights. they glow subtly, creating a beautiful effect you want to engrave in your memory forever. they whizz past you, as he rides into the air. and suddenly, you find yourself sinking into the warmth that sirius black’s presence fills you up with. it’s a rare feeling you’re foreign to. it scares you, but you stay stranded, unable to escape the sweet feeling that tingles in the depth of your stomach.
it's as if you’re tasting the pleasures of life when he laughs, the sound loud and echoing in your brain as the city whirs past you into thin air.
*-
to put in a short phrase, handling the wrath of petunia dursley or vernon dursley was not a child’s play. they’d lock the door at your face if they could if they’d be annoyed by strangers. but of course, there was a way to everybody’s heart in some way. with the correct charm and words, they could be easily melted into a puddle.
so, you turned up at their door selling the best sausages in the locality at a reasonable-no cheap price. while they weren’t very fond of pets, and didn’t appreciate you bringing your dog along with them, they seemed to have agreed to just for this bit for the dog seemed polite.
to demonstrate the quality of the sausages, you found yourself in the kitchen, sizzling up sausages on a little pan. sirius stood by you, unreasonably quiet as he observed the slight char on the sausages. you put them neatly on a plate, offering them to a kid whom you assumed to be their kid. there was no way he’d be harry-with the rather plump body, empty eyes and the mop of blonde hair. the familiarity with vernon and the child was almost uncanny.
‘who are you?’ a small voice asked, popping his head from the door of the kitchen.
‘come here boy! give the lovely girl some water!’ vernon barked as a form of acknowledging his presence. the boy nodded, walking towards the fridge, to fetch you some water. the quiet interaction was disturbed by the sudden barking of the black dog. it turned around his body, barking at harry who stood petrified by the fridge-afraid of the sudden barks. you could’ve easily recognised harry by his messy black curls, and the bright emerald eyes which hid the same shine of kindness as lily’s did.
‘calm down snuffles, c’me here,’ you said, raking your nails through his soft hair. it was eerily familiar to sirius’ soft and silky strands.
‘he gets agitated when he smells food.’ you explained. petunia nodded, staring at the dog who was now perched on your lap. with silent mischief, he licked the blonde boy’s plate, as if proving your statement.
‘oh, lovely boy,’ you cooed at the boy, ‘do you mind if i take a sausage?’
‘take a half from a half,’ he replied, his voice thick as he swallowed down the meat. you tried not to show the slight annoyance you felt at his words, breaking a small piece from the sausage. you rubbed a spot behind sirius’ ear, silently pleading him to not get out of control.
harry slid you a cold glass of water. this was the moment to steal. you could only hope you didn’t mess this up. it was tricky to do an invisibility spell wandless and wordless-but you had trained yourself thorough and hard to try and fight any situations which could barricade your way to success. all you had to do was to put the gifts along with the letter sirius had written him into the place where he slept.
it was tricky, yet done within the few spins of the second hand on the clock. you watched as the night sky darkened, from the dursley’s window, you decided to exit. this place was extremely suffocating, and within yourself you felt something snap. you weren’t expecting the dursleys to buy anything from you anyway, so you when they refused the offer to buy the sausages, you took the opportunity and ran for it, snuffles barking after you as he ran after you.
once outside the house, you breathed slow and heavy, watching snuffles transform into sirius. with a pocket full of soul, he took your hand into his, running towards the parking spot of his motorcycle.
****************************************
original idea posted by - @lilwnet
taglist - @reggieisfit @siriuslycaptainofthedawntreader @jamespottergf @eternallybipanicking @fictional-magic @iamgayforyourmom1510
taglist (for series) - @urbansaint
(if you want to be tagged please send a request through my inbox.)
****************************************
#harry potter fanfiction#harry potter#marauders#sirius black#sirius x reader#sirius black smut#the marauders#sirius black x reader#sirius black imagine#marauders era#sirius black thoughts#sirius black x oc#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanart#sirius being sirius#sirius black fluff#sirius black angst#fanfiction#james & peter & remus & sirius
18 notes
·
View notes
Text
So, Alba hasn’t liked a single tweet or browsed anything on twitter in TWO YEARS AND OVER FOUR MONTHS.. NOT A SINGLE TWEET.. and she comes on and
THIS IS THE TWEET SHE CHOOSES TO LIKE??? THIS ONE. .. a video her co-worker and friend made about what it was like to kiss her… i-
@Mawica78 How the kissing scene was made. They didn't even prepared much 🫠🫠
#SaveWarriorNun #WarriorNun HYMM FOR HER
#alba baptista#kristina tonteri young#warrior nun#avatrice#sorry i know it’s been days but i am still very much HERE#i love alba so much#i know they are always in touch and all but#i hope it made her smile#and it was so cute how kristina qrt’ed that spoiler tv thing they both won just to tag her#also i need to see the other take#i wish i could’ve been meena that day lol#and kristina looks so friggin good in all of these cameos damn#alba and kristina#twitter#if you love avatrice come to twitter y’all#the fandom is really nice and friendly and we’re having a great time trying to save the show#it’s keeping the fandom so much more alive over there#1013
688 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#(huge relieved sigh)#I'm emotional over the little community that I get to participate in here#been on Tumblr over 10 years#been in multiple fandoms that I've made content for#and this is the first time I've experienced this level of interaction and community#first time I've had mutuals and had that actually mean something#I'm still terrified of unknowingly doing something rude or wrong or annoying (which is why I struggle so much to tag people) but#idk I'm starting to feel braver#I'm actually getting emotional thinking about it#sorry I'm just#maybe rereading symphony and noticing how lonely Violist-chan is has got me focused on how lonely I am too#and yeah it's not like I'm anyone's actual friend on here but just being able to interact and participate and be welcomed is...#idk#there's this gnawing ache in my chest all the time but this little community brings me sparks of joy that I haven't felt in a long time#sorry ignore me I'm just#i don't know#I'm trying to express my gratitude but I'm not doing a very good job#if anyone actually reads this just know I'm trying to say thank you for being nice and for letting me be feral over turtles with you#and i hope you're all having a good day
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
mi do fuoco :D
#the day had started well!! and ive been crying all evening! bitch slay!!#I've come to tge realization that i very much do Not know how to translate greek#I've worked on this fucking translation all afternoon and yeah. didn't understand shit#and I've got a translating test on tuesday#i actually don't know how i got this far with no bad grades in greek bc i absolutely suck at it#with the realization tgat i actually very much Don't know this fucking language. came the one that I'm not gonna be able to do classic lit#in uni probably. because well. i can't do that#btw this happens to me like twice a week#so it's not just like. one translation gone wrong. i just don't know the language#the problem is that I deeply love Latin. and i wouldnt want to give it up. but obviously i will have to because. greek#and so obviously i started thinking tgat I cant do shit. which is kinda true. I should be able to do so many things better than i do#but why like i did everything right. i followed all the steps?? why am i still here. literally at the bottom step of the ladder#in so many of the things i care about#“you can't do well in everything” why tho. i literally always did everyhing i was supposed to#just. whatever i guess.#on an unrelated note if i don't get into theater this year im gonna kill myself#but whatever#sorry for the rant :/
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey everyone. im not here to post art right now, i just have something on my mind that i kinda wanna ramble about, which i’ll put under a read more below bc its really long lol. i know this is kinda sudden but i promise its nothing serious. stick around if you’re somehow interested in listening to my ramblings, if not then thank you for reading this anyway, and thanks for all your continuous support :)
i cant remember the reason why anymore, but a couple minutes ago i felt like going through all the blogs ive followed on here. i only follow like 276 blogs if i remember correctly, it’s not much considering how i’ve been here since 2015. i probably felt like looking through it because i was reminded of an artist i follow here and i wanted to see if they’ve updated anything, i have no clue lol.
anyways i looked through the list, and i found a lot of artists ive followed since my early days in 2015, when i first started posting art. some i still remember fondly, some i have vague memories of, and others... i just dont recognize anymore. the only thing im sure of is that they were all artists i looked up to very much, artists who have also definitely motivated me to keep drawing just so i can be as good as them someday. im confident enough to say that ive gotten close to a lot of their levels already, and i am now very comfortable with drawing in a style that is uniquely my own. i have all these artists to thank for that.
but... another thing ive also realized is, most of them arent posting anymore. some have already stopped before i myself stopped tumblr briefly in around 2019, but a lot of them stopped at that exact same year. it makes me kinda sad, i remember looking forward to these artists’ drawings often, but a lot of them just kinda dipped out of existence 3 years ago, without other social medias that i can check to make sure theyre still around. it made me think about how hellish every year has been starting from 2019, it mightve only been 3 years but it sure felt like its been a decade. all i can do right now is hope that they’re still okay, somewhere in the world, still safe and still doing whatever they love.
and on the same note, i hope every single person who is still following me, who still constantly come up to this crumbling website, maybe even look forward to me posting my art; i hope you guys are doing well too. i know there are a lot of people who were from my old 2018 dmc days (since i came back to the fandom just half a year ago and a lot of people started checking up on me again), some of you guys were probably even from my earliest 2016 undertale days; whether you followed me 6 years ago or just today, i want to thank you guys, from the bottom of my heart, for always giving me kind support on the things i do. i am not joking when i said i wont be here right now if it werent for you guys. thank you so, so much.
#guess i just felt like getting sappy today.#im sorry if this makes anyone anxious; i promise i am totally okay and nothing bad is happening to me#it's just... sometimes you look back on your life to remember the things you've done that led to the life you have today#ive been doing that a lot lately. and i just wanted to talk about what ive thought about#i actually feel a lot better thinking about things like this. it reminds me of the reason why i started drawing in the first place#with how things have been lately especially with my own uni life; it gets so frustrating its very easy to forget why i liked drawing so much#but im not gonna forget about it now; even if i stop drawing someday i'll forever hold on to these memories#i probably sound like a broken record now but; genuinely; thanks for everything i really do appreciate it#allyrambles#long post#if youve read till here#through this long ass post ive been writing for over 30 minutes now#do me a favour and talk to a long time friend you have that you havent talked to in a while#yknow the ones. you were super close but then you just slowly stopped talking to each other? even though nothing bad happened?#do me a favour and just shoot them a message. a short one will do#even a little 'hey we havent talked in a while; just wanted to check up on you and make sure youre still okay' is enough#times are tough right now. it has been for the past 2 years for everyone#if you can do it; im sure it will brighten someone's day up; to know that theres someone out there who still cares#someone will appreciate the kindness#im gonna go now. this post has gotten way longer than i expected and its almost time for bed#i hope everyone has a decent day :) thanks again for reading#hopefully i dont regret this someday lol
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Today on really stupid things to be happy about:
The fact that when I stopped being able to read or write four months ago my Works and Bookmarks just happened to be perfectly even
#it makes sense in a way because i had started trying to keep them even as a half joke ages ago#but still I'm so weirdly happy to have left it like that dhfhfhd#not like its easy to not be able to do the things i love (it's been hell actually) but it would be so much harder if I'd left it uneven >:[#....yeah. I don't think I've ever fully explained on here so#hi I'm Shade :) i used to write things and then i went on a month long break for school stress and THEN a many month long break#unplanned because apparently chronic illness. so. so sorry to the people who were waiting for that Red Thread update in may#or yknow literally anything else other than semiconscious reblogs and radio silence#don't worry I am far from 100% still but i have meds and they're helping a lot#and i AM going to work my way back up to writing. I am. slowly#but it's probably going to be very slowly and low effort for a while because i still don't know if i can handle full time uni in the fall#but i have been able to read again! physical symptoms are still kinda eeh some days but the brain fog most times is gone#huge win#and at least my works and bookmarks are even :]#i don't usually put personal stuff here and honestly i don't even know if there's still anybody around who remembers me more active but#feels good to not be too hopeless to open ao3 again.#that's about as much shade ramble as you'll have to put up with today have a great evening everyone 💙#ah fuck i forgot#tw medical
17 notes
·
View notes
Text
neuvillette is aware that he shouldn’t have let you get so close. but he did, and now he’s lamenting the fact that your hands are grasping at his soft horns — his fucking horns, of all places — and he might like it.
uptight and strait-laced, you’ve never known the chief justice to be someone so easily flustered. yet here he is with heat crawling up his neck, so warm that you can feel it against your palms as they ghost over his skin.
you can’t help but laugh at his current situation.
he was vehemently against you coming anywhere near his hair at first, grumbling about how his horns were on the sensitive side and he would rather not have to go into work feeling uncomfortably aware of their presence on his head.
however, you were hard to deny with that little smile on your face and such soft hands grabbing at his arms, tugging him closer. a sweet voice chanting, "please, honey? pretty please?"
neuvillette has never been good at denying you what you want.
it’s how he ends up sitting at your shared vanity. you comb through his long hair, watching him with amusement in the mirror as he huffs and jolts with every brush of your fingers against his horns.
the fact that he was letting you get anywhere near them was surely a testament to his trust in you. he was completely vulnerable here, at your mercy.
“sorry,” you mumble disingenuously, clearly enjoying seeing your usually serious husband falling apart with a simple action. you quickly tie off the end of his hair with a bow and he sighs in relief, thinking that the torment is over.
it's far from over.
he draws a sharp breath when you lean forward and press two gentle kisses on him; one on either side of his head just beside his horns.
neuvillette glowers at you in the reflection, disapproval written all over his face. "stop that," he scolds.
you do, but only because you're worried he might melt into a puddle before your very eyes if you continue.
it becomes a daily routine after that, with him sitting patiently in front of the mirror while you brush and tie off his hair. and you always end it the same way: two kisses, a soft "have a good day at work," murmured against him, and a mischievous little smile that makes him sigh.
he responds everyday with the same two words. "stop that," with a narrow-eyed glare.
the day you do stop, he's confused and irritated.
not only because you have the audacity to throw a wrench into routine again, which you know he hates, but also because he can't figure out why he misses your lips so much.
"what are you doing? i am going to be late."
"hm?" you peer up lazily from your spot on the bed, still half asleep.
"you have to do my hair."
"i thought you didn't want me to, so i slept in today."
your husband is eerily silent for a moment as he mulls over your words. then, he carefully perches himself on the edge of the bed, back turned to you expectantly and still wordless.
no, he would never admit he likes it just a little bit — the vulnerability, the trust, the feeling of your hands threading through his hair, the intimacy of it. hell no.
but neuvillette doesn't have to say a lot of things for you to understand; not when the way his skin heats up says it all; not when you're the first person to touch his horns in centuries; not when he’s saying stop that with such an affectionate glimmer in his eyes.
you give him four kisses that morning, two on either side.
© ALABOADOA 2023 — please do not translate or post my works to other platforms.
#— whispers in the wind ✧#not proofread i'm sorry#neuvillette my beloved my BELOVED my husband my lover my meow meow#he makes me insane#also idk if i would call those things on his head horns but that's what everyone else calls them#neuvillette#neuvillette genshin#neuvillette fluff#neuvillette x y/n#neuvillette x reader#neuvillette x you#genshin impact#genshin impact x reader#genshin impact fic#genshin impact fluff
11K notes
·
View notes
Text
need to go home rn actually i cannot be on this trip anymore. like at least when i reach a breaking point at home i have an apartment alone to break down in and regulate myself until im okay enough, there's just no way to do that here at all
#like there is no room other than the bathroom where i can be alone#and i cant be in the bathroom very long bc all eleven of us are sharing two#and every day is just overwhelming things constantly and i just have to be okay and normal for all of it#and i can't even go home and decompress afterward like there is no alone time or privacy or any time for me to like stabilize#and i broke tonight and cried in front of my mom and she started talking about how i shouldnt be like this anymore#and i need a better psychiatrist and she just was so annoyed with me#and im just trying so hard and still failing like this is the best i can fucking do rn#and i know its pathetic and difficult to be around and annoying trust me#like im so aware of how impossible it is to be around me i know and if i could control this i would be better but i cant#i can regulate myself to some degree when i have time alone where i feel safe but i just dont have that option here#and i have to do this for another week and i just dont think i can like theres no way i can and i dont know what to do#cw self harm#ever since i started living alone ive been doing so so much better about not engaging in self harming behaviors#and after just three days of this multiple are coming back bc pain is the only way i can think of that can maybe get me to calm down quickly#and i cant do that like i just cant deal with all this coming back i was doing so fucking well#sorry this is such a long rant and ik its all silly and i need to be grateful i get the chance to go on vacation like this#i just am at such a breaking point like all my mental energy is gone and sleeping hasnt even been recharging it#like i really just need to be alone so i can calm down and reset for a little bit and there just isnt a chance for that#plus i dont have anyone to talk to about this except this stupid fucking blog#i thought maybe my parents knew me well enough to get it but they just dont and that hurts a lot in itself#and i miss having friends i could tell this stuff to that would get it and wouldnt think im pathetic or broken or unlovable for it#i just want to be home so so badly
1 note
·
View note
Text
hey i want to talk about how you should be promoting your work as an erotic author/illustrator
i'm writing this up because the marketing aspect of my work as an erotic author/illustrator is a science to me, and also because i'm the guy who gets unreasonably annoyed when i see other creators not properly advertising their work. you presumably want to make money off your work. this post will be written under the assumption you want to make money off your work but are doing a bad job at it. it will be very confrontational. if you read this and feel attacked you're right and i am attacking you.
this is geared toward selling erotic comics/writing/books/art as products. i will probably write more than one post about this subject so if i didn't touch on something you want to know more about, comment/send me an ask and i'll keep it in mind for the next one.
i will start with my first and least specific but most important point:
DON'T GET FUCKING CUTE
hi are you paying attention. i'm gripping you by the sides of your face. do not get fucking cute with what you are trying to sell. you are not a big enough property to get cute, nobody LIKES it when big properties get cute, and you are selling porn. you have to own this. you have to be up front about this. don't be tongue in cheek, don't be all teehee i wonder what this could be~, don't be secretive. you are selling a product. you have to fucking act like it. you are an adult selling pornography to other adults. i am GRIPPING your HEAD you NEED to understand this.
and to be clear when i say 'cute' i mean coy. i don't mean cutesy, as in the aesthetic. you can be as hello kitty pastel ten emojis a post uwu as you like when you're building your audience and generating hype. but when you start trying to sell, don't be vague, don't be sarcastic, don't mislabel your work as a joke and assume everyone is on it. because they're not.
you must always assume 75% of the people seeing the thing you are advertising have no fucking idea who you are. and that includes a huge chunk of the people who already follow you. they do not know who you are or what you've been working on for two months or why they should care about it. they just got here. somebody just reposted it. they are seeing it for the first time. most people are only looking at social media for a tiny chunk of their day. they are not keeping up with you. you cannot get cute about what you are trying to sell because nobody knows what it is until you tell them.
okay are you still with me. we are going to talk about clarity now.
YOU GOTTA TELL ME WHAT IT IS
good lord the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's comic or book and had no idea what's actually in it or what it's about. who are the characters? why should i care about them? what do they do in it? what is the premise of this thing you want me to spend $5 on? why would you not tell me? i'm shaking you again. please i have to know what i'm buying i only have so much money to spend on porn.
porn, arguably more than any other genre, relies on knowing exactly what is in it. you do not want to surprise your readers with a kink they were unaware of! and on the flip side, you do not want to miss out on your target audience! if your book contains a hot spider babe laying eggs in an elf, you have to say so. not just so people who don't want to read about eggs know it isn't for them, but so the people who are egg crazy can see that and go "oh fuck YES i love EGGS here is my $5 and an extra $2 tip for catering to me specifically". a contents/features list is as much an advertisement as it is a warning!
as for re: who the characters are and why should i care, i'm sorry but you need to learn how to write sales copy. you have to write blurbs. you have to get good at the shit that goes on the back of a book. we all hate it but we have to do it. i want to know who the characters are and what the context is. i, personally, am not interested in contemporary stories as much as fantasy and historical. please tell me what genre this porn exists in so i know if it aesthetically appeals to me. pull some books off your shelves and see how they do it. hell man go look at mine.
while you're there, note that every single book of mine has a sample of what's in it. this feels like such a no-brainer to me but again! the amount of times i have gone to buy somebody's work and they don't show me what their work looks like! you gotta give me the first page or two! just enough that i know if i like the way your writing sounds, or the way you draw your comics! i don't know you! i am not going to trust that you're good at what you do just based on a cover. the cover is to get me to this step, it is not the only step. you have to show me that you're worth spending my money on!
to put it less cynically, you want to catch my interest. you want me to go 'oh i want to see more of this', you want me to go 'ahh i want to know where this goes!' you need to get me invested and craving more. earn my $5!!!
YOU HAVE TO MAKE IT EASY TO GIVE YOU MONEY
hey go look at your bio right now. go look at your pinned post. do you have a link to your patreon there? do you have a link to your itchio/gumroad/whatever? do i have to click more than once to get to the places you want me to go to give you money? why? why are you making me click twice? have we learned nothing from every website making you click an extra time when they make some stupid UI update and how much it pisses us off? i have already given up, i have forgotten you, i am not giving you my $5 today. put your links in the easiest places to get to them.
god literally as i was writing this post i went to go find somebody's itchio to see how they described their work and it was not anywhere on their profile. grabbing you and shaking you PUT THE LINK WHERE I CAN FIND IT. don't make it hard! make it easy! i am a dickhead sitting on the toilet scrolling, saw your post, and was interested enough to read further. but you made me go to your bio to find your linktree and oops i have already gone back to my timeline to look at the boobies in the next post. stop wasting precious bio space on DNIs and put your fuckin links there!!!
this is more for the twitter people, but: just put the link in the damn post. just say the word commission. just say it's for patreon. "wuh wuh the algorithm" it is not the damn algorithm it's that everybody hates advertising and nobody wants to retweet ads. putting slashes in the words doesn't do anything and you look like a fool. i have posted so much art that says it's 'a commission for ___" and it did exactly as good as any other art despite having the word commission in it. and by doing the slashes you just made it impossible for anybody to search your account for your commission information (which should be at the VERY LEAST in a post under your pinned tweet if you're not actively posting about them being open).
okay that went on a tangent i'm going to back to the point of putting the link in the tweet. put it in the first post. not in the first reply. don't tell them to go to your bio. put it in the post people are actually going to share. it's fine to put more information in the thread but people are only ever going to share the first post. so put the link there. you have to make it easy. putting links in tweets can hurt you algorithmically, even in the replies. so you're better off having it in the post that actually gets seen and shared. i don't want to open the tweet and scroll to get to your sales page where i ASSUME you will have put all the information anyway. put it in the tweet that just got retweeted by itself onto my dash!
also you have to share it a ton of times. i repost my shit every few hours when i'm trying to push a new product. as i said before people are not 24/7 looking at their timelines. they missed it the first time. they missed it the second time. they didn't get paid yet that week but they were after the eighth time and you reminded them again so they finally bought it. that i will still get sales every time i repost a book ad weeks after release says there are always people who missed it, or who only just showed up.
abandon your pride and shill. shills pay their bills. anyone who gets annoyed about it isn't giving you money in the first place. don't worry about looking like a sell out. don't apologize for plugging your own work. post about it often, post about it in different ways. post about it. post about it. you are not going to make money if people don't know you have something to sell them. if you want to make a career out of it, you need to act like it.
I DON'T HAVE A FOURTH POINT
kisses your forehead. i'm sorry for yelling at you. i've been making and publishing and selling adult art for the past two-three years and have got myself to the point where it pays my rent, and i got there by paying attention to what does and does not work.
please do your best to make money. i want you to make money.
as i said above i plan to write more posts on this subject, such as cover design, how to actually write sales copy, and best practices with running a patreon, but if there's things you would want to hear more about leave a comment or send an ask! i will probably be less aggressive on future topics. these are just things that have grinded my gears for a grip.
3K notes
·
View notes
Text
trust me -- billy the kid x barowner!reader
hi everyone :) sorry I've been MIA — law school has been kicking my #ass but it's ok. I saw the new thg movie and while IAMNOTACORIOSNOWSTAN but I am a t*m bl*th and the man was so fine in this show. so fine. I've only seen like three fics for this man (maybe I just don't know how to search correctly thats probably my fault) but I was SEARCHING FOREVER and then I just got pissed because I couldn't find any so I wrote almost eight thousand words for this man that is how down bad I was
informal warnings: me. 1) I should be put on a leash 2) I use italics way too much 3) and whatever the fuck this "—" is 4) will i ever give up the female bar owner trope 5) will I ever stop tho? [vanilla ice voice] no, I don't know
as always, the actual warnings: smutty smut smut SMUT!, unprotected sex (1880's bby but you still gotta wrap it before you tap it), violence, guns, bit of gore but like the tiniest bit, virgin!reader, p in v sex, oral sex, bit of a dom!billy, bit of a bratty!sub!reader, overstimulation what can I say I should be put on a leash
anyway.... here's trust me:
when your father died… it was hard to be sad. he wasn’t very kind and he never seemed to like you very much… but in his will, being his only surviving kin, he left you money.
a lot of it.
and an old building.
the town it resided in was convenient in the way that many people that were passing through had to stop there. so what did you do? well, the only thing you could do — turn it into a restaurant and boarding house.
the money he left behind was used to fix up the place and pay your employees.
within a few weeks time, your place was up and running with very little vacancy. families and important people were always in your bar or comfortably in their rooms. never had you ever thought someone could be as lucky as you.
until one day. that day.
you worked alongside your employees but flipped between positions. sometimes you were a hostess, ran the front desk, a bartender, or anything else that needed tending to. in response, many people did not know you were the owner — and, therefore, some people treated you like you weren’t.
mainly gross old men, which you could handle. however, when a young, strong, and tall man challenged you?
that was dangerous. too dangerous.
even a fake wedding ring didn’t steer them away.
on that day, a young blacksmith had found his way into your bar. he was handsy with you much of the night, and you tried your best to steer him away. it wasn’t until you pulled a knife on him that he finally let up. it didn’t look like anyone saw, but still — you were scared and worried. would people think you classless, for pulling a knife on a patron? would they see you as weak? would they notice that the alcohol you served brought in too rowdy of a crowd? would they stop venturing in?
you thought no one noticed, and tried to convince yourself of that fact — but you were wrong.
when you were closing for the night, mostly everyone had left. a small group of men usually stayed until close — and you didn’t mind. they drank well, paid their tab, and were mostly quiet and polite. you didn’t know any of their names — but it was usually bad when you did know a patron’s name, so you liked them.
you had your back turned to the front of the bar, stacking bottles, when someone cleared their throat from behind you.
“ma’am?”
you turned around.
a tall, fair skinned man with a hat stood before you. his clothes were old and worn, and his fingernails reflected that he was a hard worker during the day. that type of exhaustion was also reflected in his eyes.
but, damn... his face? no one could deny that that man was handsome.
you smiled. “another drink, sir?”
“no. thank you.” he paused for a moment, keeping your gaze. “i wanted to check if you were alright.”
you immediately knew what he was talking about, but kept your face stoic. “yes, sir, thank you.”
he looked like he wanted to say something, but struggled with how to word it. “he usually a problem?”
you clenched your jaw. “he’s… he’s fine. too much drink, ‘s’all. gets the best of working men. can’t blame ‘em.” you swallowed, trying to keep your anxiety at bay. who was this man and why did he care? was he a friend of the man? “you sure there’s nothing i can’t get for you?”
“some wouldn't blame ‘em.” he ignored your question. his bright blue eyes held your gaze. “i would.”
you forced a tight lipped smile. with a laugh, you joked, “i’ll… be fine, sir. thank you. thought a fake wedding ring would do the trick… gotta think of something else now.”
he smiled, but in a sad way. “i was going to ask if your husband ever checked in on the place.”
“no husband,” you affirmed with a sigh. you introduced yourself, and then asked, “what’s your name?”
“william h. bonney, ma’am… but you can call me billy.”
“nice to meet you, billy,” you smiled. “and, please — don’t call me ma’am.”
“alright.” he returned your smile. “the men behind me… we run a sort of — security detail for part time work. if you ever wanted to hire us, we could have a man here when we can spare.”
you nodded, contemplating your offer. he explained the per diem, and you immediately agreed.
“if your man can keep this place safe with little bloodshed, i’ll even throw in a free bottle a day,” you countered.
and that was how your business with billy the kid and his men began.
the men that came along were usually polite and quiet, and mostly stayed at the edge of the bar. they watched for problems, and slowly but surely your fear had begun to subside. there was a minor scuffle one day, where a man had cracked a glass and cut you with it… but billy’s man had stopped him before he could do anything else. you didn’t hold it against billy’s guy — you cared about your business and if the business got bloody, not so much yourself.
billy, on the other hand… did not agree.
one day, bright and early, he parked himself at the middle of the bar where you stood behind the counter.
“rarely see you for detail,” you smiled, wiping down a glass. “much less this early. breakfast, mr. bonney?”
“billy, ma’am,” he responded. “breakfast does sound fine.”
you laughed. “i hate when you call me ma’am.”
“don’t much like it when you call me mister,” he quirked an eyebrow. billy was a rather emotionless and hard man, but you could tell he was joking.
you laughed again. “steak and eggs for billy, coming right up.”
the rest of the day went on peacefully, and you kept billy’s glass full. he was quiet and didn’t talk much, which you weren’t too keen about. he was mysterious, tall, dark and handsome — which was usually a bad combination. you knew it was, and you should’ve cared — but you didn’t.
as you were filling billy’s glass into the later hours of the afternoon, you finally bucked up the courage to ask him a question.
“so why did you stop in today?” you asked. “not that i mind. i just have only seen you when you come in at night.”
“we made a deal, sweetheart,” he responded. your eyes perked up at the nickname. you didn’t hate the nickname — but you hated yourself a wee bit for how much you liked hearing billy call you it. “the man i sent here was supposed to make sure he kept you from harm — he didn’t hold up his end on the deal.”
“it was kept quiet from the other patrons,” you responded. “that’s all i really care about. i’m a woman in the restaurant and boardinghouse business — stuff like that is bound to happen. no need to be hard on him.”
“you keep my men’s glasses too full for them to let slip ups like that happen,” he replied. “he knew better. should've acted better.”
“you’re the boss, billy,” you sighed with a smile. “i’m just the bartender.”
“damn good bartender at that,” he spoke. “too good.”
you giggled, and grew ashamed rather quickly at how much you enjoyed his company. you didn’t know him well, no… but damn, was it nice to have him around.
the rest of the night was rather quiet. a few families had stepped in and out, and a few meetings were being held where the tables sat. that was until the blacksmith that started this whole thing came in and sat himself only a stool away from billy.
you threw a look at billy, but he didn’t meet your eyes. his peripheral vision was already on the man. billy remembered him, and you couldn’t say fondly.
“whiskey, sweetheart,” he grunted. “leave the bottle.”
you sighed. a quiet day was going to turn into a rough night in a matter of a few moments.
“mr. martin, i can’t leave the bottle unless you settle your tab from the nights prior,” you answered. “i can get you a double and add it on, though, if that’s alright with you?”
“that’s not alright with me, girl,” he grunted again, glaring you down. “leave the damn bottle!”
you stood your ground. “there’s a bar across the street, mr. martin.”
“you don’t want my business, that it, sweetheart?”
“not much business if you don’t pay," you quipped.
through gritted teeth, he spat, “leave. the damn. bottle.”
“pay. the. tab.”
he went to catch you by the arm, but you were too quick. you anticipated his antics this time. you snatched an empty bottle, and broke the base of it in the sink. you put the broken, jagged edge of the neck of the bottle in between the two of you. your eyes were wild — you could feel it, and both men could definitely see it. startled, he drew back.
“this is the only bottle you’re getting with that attitude.”
that was when billy stood up and walked towards the man. the thuds of his boots, though few considering the short distance, were deafening in the mostly silent bar. you may have had a makeshift weapon, but billy? billy the kid? everyone knew what he had on him.
“time for you to leave, friend.”
the man laughed. “friend? who’s my friend to tell me when i need to leave?”
“the one who’s a quicker draw than you, that's who." his answer was slow and cool — too calm, which only made the shiver of a threat run up and down your spine faster.
the man, all talk, clenched his jaw as he stared at billy. he slapped the tab money on the top of the bar, and walked out.
you didn’t let out a sigh of relief until the man left.
but billy was the one that spoke first. “was going to step in immediately… but you held your own. they need to respect you before they’re scared of me.”
you laughed. “little does he know i’m all talk as well.”
“with that bottle?” he chuckled. “sweetheart, even i was scared.”
“you threatened him with a gun… i don’t think anything scares you, billy,” you asked. “thank you for stepping in.”
“‘s my job.”
“i know… but still,” you spoke.
you were continuing to close before he spoke again.
“what made you want to start this place?” he asked.
“my father passed a few moons before i opened this place,” you responded. “no parents, no husband — thought i might try this out.”
“my ma wanted to start a place like this,” he replied. “never got the chance.”
you nodded with a sad smile. “didn’t know her… but i think she’d be proud of how you handled that. don’t think he’ll be much trouble anymore.”
“she’d think i’m trouble with how full the lovely bartender keeps my glass,” he spoke, but looked like he instantly regretted it. “my apologies, i shouldn’t’ve — the whiskey —“
“you’re fine,” you laughed, your blush pinching your cheeks. as you walked away, you threw over your shoulder, “hopefully your ma wouldn’t mind that i keep her son’s glass full for his good work… nor that i think her son’s handsome.”
from that day forward, billy was always the man who sat at your bar.
he always greeted and made pleasant conversation with you, and glared at any man that got too aggressive with you. if looks could kill… billy would never need what he held in his holster.
you’d giggle to yourself after the creepy men would walk away. you’d never know… but when billy would hear your giggle afterwards, he’d smile, too.
but he kept that to himself.
however, slowly… he was becoming more comfortable with your company.
“so why didn’t you marry?” he one day asked randomly.
you were wiping down a glass when you got lost in the thought. “when there’s a nice one that’s interested… maybe. haven’t already because there aren’t very many nice ones. it was very convenient when you started keeping the bad ones away.”
to your dismay, he didn’t say anything in response.
but you had gotten comfortable with his company, too. too comfortable.
“and why isn’t there a mrs. bonney, billy?”
“she’d get jealous about how much time i spend with you,” he responded.
there was very little emotion in his voice, and you were afraid of reading into what he was saying. was he returning your flirtations? was he telling you that you were a drag? to answer your own question, you jokingly said, “well if i’m too much trouble, mr. bonney, you are more than welcome to have another one of your men step in.”
“well, ma’am —“ he began. “then i’d get jealous of how much time they were spending with you.”
you couldn’t hide the blush that rose into your cheeks. billy looked upon your face with a small smile tugging at his lips, and his gaze didn’t waver.
“keep talking like that, billy, and i’ll become trouble for you,” you raised an eyebrow at him.
“can’t say i’d mind much,” he responded, taking a sip of his glass, but holding eye contact with you.
if you weren’t frozen, you would’ve pulled yourself over the bar right then and then and planted yourself in his lap. you would’ve flung his glass to the floor, and wouldn’t have cleaned it up until you had kissed every inch of that man. you would’ve responded, but you couldn’t...
that was when billy’s men had stepped into the bar.
the air immediately darkened. the blonde one, named jesse, had led the pack as they stalked in. billy immediately flipped around to see what the problem was.
“sweetheart, give us a minute,” billy asked, calling over his shoulder.
billy never gave you orders, let alone in your own bar. however, if he was asking you to… you figured you should probably listen. you left the bar and went into the back. most of your employees had left for the night, so you helped the remaining ones clean up. it would be a few minutes or so before billy had come back into the kitchen to find you. you went back into the bar with him.
“i’ll be back before you close,” he spoke. “lock the doors.”
a second order. something he never did in the first place. something was wrong. you didn’t pry… you just scrunched your eyebrows in response.
“something’s up,” he spoke. he pressed a quick kiss to your cheek before he turned to leave. “i’m takin’ care of it.”
there you stood, absolutely stunned. billy and his men left the bar with haste and didn’t look back. you, on the other hand, stood frozen… unable to leave the spot where you had billy the kid, known for his deadly skills, kiss you on the cheek.
you finally moved, reluctantly, but only to close up.
it would be close to an hour before billy finally came back. a few of his friends came with him, and they dragged in a man on their shoulder who was grunting in pain. blood was pouring from his leg, and you immediately went for the medical supplies you kept hidden under the counter. you grabbed two bottles of whiskey for good measure, arguably also a part of your makeshift kit.
“put him down on the table,” you gushed. his men were stunned to see you hustling, but they didn’t hesitate to rest their friend. you immediately took a look at the man’s leg, and were thankful to see that there would be no permanent damage. you shoved a bottle at jesse, and stated, “make him drink this.”
jesse had unscrewed the bottle and helped his friend drink before you fished out the bullet. thankfully no arteries were punctured, but it would be some time before he was good again. you cleaned up the man the best you could, and asked if any of the men needed anything.
“no, ma’am…” jesse responded. “we were going to bring him here and do it ourselves, your place was closest… so thank you.”
you smiled at him. “take the bottles. need it more than me.”
he tipped his hat to you.
“jesse,” billy began. “you and the boys head home.”
without question, jesse nodded. they helped their friend to his feet and left with a goodbye. even though they left, the unsettling feeling of the room hadn’t changed. billy seemed… different. heavier. he wasn’t the same man that had kissed you on the cheek before he had left.
you turned to him. “i won’t pry, but —“
“good,” he spat, turning to you. billy’s eyes bore into yours like you were one of the problem men at your bar. “don’t.”
a look of hurt flashed across your face. you could feel it. “you’re looking at me like i did something.”
“i told you to lock the door,” he spat again, his look of anger unwavering.
you had only seen billy's eyes that wide and that angry when there was someone being cruel to you. the thought made you shiver.
“how would you have gotten back in?” you asked.
“knocked,” he bit.
you narrowed your eyes at his curt response. “i had a feeling something was wrong. if i had waited to unlock, i couldn’t have gotten that bullet out as fast as i did.”
“doesn’t matter,” he bit. “how am i supposed to keep you safe if you won’t listen to me?”
you scrunched your brows together in confusion. “billy… whatever happened where you were, it wasn’t here. i could’ve gone to bed… but i stayed up. waiting for you.”
“and what if someone came in, huh? what then?” he hollered. “what would you have done then?! what would i have done if you had gotten hurt?”
you shook your head in disbelief. you couldn’t believe billy was speaking to you with such disdain. “with the way you’re talking to me, billy — sounds like you’re used to women who don’t pull knives on creepy men, hold broke bottles to their necks — or fish bullets out of legs when i don’t know why he was shot in the first place. you’re used to those kind of women, and have a problem with me? maybe you should go back to them.”
you immediately turned away from him, beginning to walk towards the bar. billy was hot on your heels when he reached out to grab your wrist and turned you around.
he grabbed both sides of your face and pressed his lips to yours.
you wanted to scream at him, throw fists at his chest, push him away — anything to let you know how he hurt you, how he wronged you... but you couldn't.
no. you couldn't.
you were so stunned you stood frozen in place as his lips moved against yours. you loosely held his wrists in your hands, and kissed him back.
“don’t want those girls, darlin’,” he spoke, breathless, in between kisses. “knew you were a real woman the first time i saw you. the kind that puts the fear of god into you, but looks at you with such a sweetness in her eyes that you can’t look away.”
“better believe it, bonney,” you spat, half joking. “you’ve seen how quick i am.”
“i know, darlin’, i know,” he whispered, kissing you once more. “i also know i was wrong to speak to you the way i did.”
“shut your damn mouth and kiss me,” you replied, pulling him closer to you.
“yes, ma’am,” he playfully responded, and you slapped his shoulder.
billy had backed you up against the wall and pressed his body towards yours. you stood on your toes to reach him, and even then he had to lean down a foot or two.
“billy…” you began, pulling away. “i’ve never… but if you wouldn’t think less of me, we could go upstairs. to my room.”
“i’d never think less of you,” he spoke, shaking off your comment. “but… what’d’ya mean, ‘never?’”
“i’ve never been with a man, billy,” you responded, suddenly embarrassed.
he was quiet for a moment, before stating, “you sure you want it to be with me?”
you nodded. “if… if you want to, that is.”
he didn’t respond to your statement, he just kissed you. he kissed you with every emotion you didn’t think he ever possessed — raw, hot, desperate emotion that held you close and tight to him. the heat and the intensity made your brain swim, but you could only care so much when billy the fucking kid wanted you.
he slipped an arm around your shoulders and then underneath your knees before he picked you up. you bit back a squeal before you threw your arms around his neck.
“light as a feather, sweetheart, don’t you worry,” he spoke.
“all that steak i been feeding you?” you joked.
“my belt can’t help it if my woman feeds me well,” he replied, almost at the top of the stairs.
“you’re a flirt,” you giggled.
you pointed him towards your room. once in, he laid you down on the bed and laid on top of you. his body was warm and sturdy over yours, and you couldn’t help but feel warm. his hips were pressed against yours, but you couldn’t feel him through your dress. you grew frustrated at the thought.
you made quick work to undue his shirt, and billy was quick to catch on. he pulled away to take off his shirt, and you tried to take off your corset with his help.
“damn death trap,” he spat, fussing.
you giggled. he was cute when he was flustered, but nothing compared to the way he was looking hungrily down at you. you were completely bare before him, and you should’ve been embarrassed… but shame wasn’t present in this moment. the only thing you registered was how billy looked down at you — with adoration in his eyes as they raked down your naked form.
“will you…” you began. “will you show me… how to please… you?”
“another time, sweetheart,” he spoke, stealing a quick kiss from you. “i need my head between those legs of yours.”
“you-you don’t have to —“ you spoke. “i know that’s not something — that boys —“
“yeah — boys.” billy snapped, glaring at you. “real men want to taste their women.”
that shut you right up.
billy wedged himself in between your thighs and spread your folds. it caused a sharp intake of breath on your part, but you didn’t realize what you were in for. billy flattened his tongue, and licked a long stripe up your slit. your teeth sank into your lip at the foreign feeling that cause so much warmth to make your veins twitch.
…but when billy’s nose had nudged a specific spot at the top of your slit — your legs jerked.
“what — what —“ you stammered.
“shh,” billy cooed, slightly laughing. “i forgot how sensitive you were. my apologies, sweetheart.”
you trusted billy, sure, but you had never felt anything like that before in your life. the jerking motion of your legs was involuntary and made you fearful. billy could see the fear written on your face.
“that spot that i touched, that you felt?” he asked.
his eyes were so wide and meaningful you felt like you could melt in them. you brought yourself up to your elbows and hummed in acknowledgement.
“that is the most sensitive part of a woman, and if i play it just right —“ ever so lightly, you felt his middle finger and ring finger touch the spot. you shivered at the feeling, but you didn’t flinch like last time. you held his gaze as the warmth began to spread inside you. “i can make you feel better than you’ve ever felt.”
billy bent over your body and held himself up with extended arm planted firmly by your side. he swiped the two fingers over his tongue to lubricate them, and brought them right back to where they were. you both watched his fingers play at the most sensitive part of you, and your lip began to quiver.
“look at me, sweetheart.”
your eyes glanced back up to him.
like you thought before, if angry looks could kill… anyone would die by just a look from billy the kid. however, what would they say about the way he’s looking at you now? with his plump lips parted, and his eyes wild and hungry? you didn't know... but you knew you would find out.
“y’trust me?” he asked.
you hummed in agreement, nodding.
“say it.”
you sharply inhaled, caught off guard by his order. “yes, billy — i trust you.”
instead of leaning back down to plunge his face in between your thighs, he kissed you. his lips connected with yours in one of the most dominating ways you ever thought a man could. with his hand playing between your thighs, he swallowed every moan and cry you struggled to keep hidden inside of you. billy was breathing hard against you — relishing in how it felt to have you so vulnerable and close to him.
that was when his fingers picked up speed.
and, god… did it feel damn good.
“b-billy,” you whimpered. “feels…”
“still trust me?”
“yes,” you cried, screwing your eyes shut. “yes, it’s just…”
he leaned his head down so his mouth was right by your ear. his breaths were hot against your ear, and you hummed at the feeling. your hand played with the curls at the nape of his neck, tugging at the roots.
“fuck — you takin’ what i’m givin’ to you, darlin’,” he rasped, then continued, “drives me insane.”
you could barely hear what he was saying, nor could you respond. your head was swimming with the weight of billy so close to your naked body, holding you down and safe, with those skilled fingers of his working you like you were a damn trigger. you were a whimpering, crying mess — and billy loved every second of it.
“something — feels —“
“d’ya want me to stop?” he asked, breathless.
“no,” you whimpered, confused how the warmth inside you felt like it was going, going, going. you didn’t know where it started, where it was going, and definitely didn’t know where it ended. you were worried that you were going to explode — but you didn’t understand. “something feels — like i’m — i’m going —“
“let it happen, sweetheart.” his kisses were wet and sloppy along the skin of your throat. he nipped at the skin, and that only sent you into more of a frenzy. “that’s right, darlin’. that’s it. trust me. i’ve got you.”
and that was it.
the thing — billy’s words, that sent you toppling over whatever metaphorical edge you could think of to describe it. it felt like white, hot sparks went off behind your closed eyelids and were going off on every nerve ending in your body. whimpers left your bitten lips like you were a babe, and your back arched off the bed. distantly, you could hear billy cooing with excitement, laughter… and praise.
a light sheen of sweat was on both of you, and billy had never looked better. his musk was wafting through the air and had completely taken over your senses. you felt like the only thing in the room was billy and the only thing in the world that mattered was billy. men got drunk off whiskey, but you? you got drunk off of that pure, unfiltered scent and look of a masculine man who showed you how to experience the pleasure of a woman you had never known.
“fuck…” you whimpered as you came down from your high. you tried pushing billy’s hand away, but you were so weak you didn’t think you could.
“sorry, darlin’,” he laughed, kissing your throat again. “got selfish. wanted to keep seeing that pretty look on your face.”
it was difficult for you to find words, let alone enough for an adequate response. “billy… that… that felt…”
“i’m gonna be trouble for you now.” he stole a kiss. “nothing better than seeing you below me, like that…”
“i want you to feel good, too,” you began. “please, billy? i wanna see you, too.”
his lips formed a tight line. “i don’t want it to hurt you.”
“first time doesn’t always hurt,” you spoke. “no one says the second time hurts.”
he smiled at that, and began to roll on top of you. you stopped him, and gestured for him to sit up against the headboard. he was hesitant at first, but he did it anyway. you hovered your hips above his before licking one of your palms and gliding it over the tip of his length. you stroked him a few times, and a soft moan left his lips at the feeling.
“i can keep going,” you spoke, throwing a sultry look up at him. “i want to make you feel good.”
“no, doll,” he rasped. “too selfish. need to see that pretty face of yours do what it does again.”
you pouted for a short moment before you lifted your hips above his length and began to sink down. you could feel a slick leaking from your folds, which made you feel better about actually getting him inside you.
“go slow,” he ordered suddenly. “you stop if it hurts, got it?”
you nodded, half ignoring him.
but it didn’t hurt.
the first inch didn’t hurt. the second didn’t. the third, the fourth, the fifth, sixth, — you lost count. billy was so big and filled you so nicely that you were so greedy with how you sank down into him. you couldn’t have cared less about what he said before about going slow — all you needed was to feel all of him completely.
“you didn’t listen —“ he grunted, slightly mad. “you’re so lucky you feel good, fuck — you’re so tight —“
“so what if i didn’t listen, mr. bonney?” you smiled coyly at him, a sudden bout of confidence coming over you. maybe it was the post orgasm glow, maybe it was the new feeling of having the most perfect man inside of you — you weren’t sure. “you feel — so good.”
“don’t get bold on me, sweetheart,” he smirked.
you didn’t listen. you picked up your pace, rocking your hips back and forth to what felt good inside of you.
billy’s cock liked that, sure — but he didn’t. you could see the mental turmoil on his face as his neglected cock was finally getting the attention it deserved, but his hothead person didn’t like that his girl was getting smart on him.
that was when billy flipped you over onto your back, much to your dismay. you liked putting on a show for him and doing all the work for a change.
“you wanna act like that, darlin’, huh?” he asked in your ear with a raspy, lust filled voice. “not gonna listen to me?”
“it just felt so good, billy, please —“ you were whining at this point, pissed he had taken away that feeling.
“oh, you’re a greedy thing, that right?” he taunted. “gets one fuckin’ taste, and now she can’t get enough?”
you shook your head, desperate for something — anything. “so greedy, baby. please, billy — please just fuck me.”
his hips snapped against you. hard.
maybe it should’ve hurt — but fucking christ, it didn’t. it felt so good to have his strong, forceful hips thrust against yours and hit that spot so deep inside of you.
“you like that?” he asked, taunting you. “that’s what my greedy girl wanted? — needed?”
his hips were relentlessly snapping against yours now as he hovered above you by holding himself up on his elbows. the sight of his broad and strong chest and shoulders… enough to make any woman weak. a firm crease was in his brow, signaling he was struggling to keep up his mean persona.
“yes — yes —“ you cried. “billy, you’re so deep — it feels — fuck, you can’t stop billy. please —“
“sweetest fuckin’ pussy,” he grunted. “squeezing me so tight.”
“right there — that’s the spot, baby,” you bit your lip to keep your voice down.
billy leaned his forehead against yours, and his exhales fanned against your face. little moans were escaping his lips as well, but nothing like yours. instead, he spat, “couldn’t let me be nice to you and fuck you sweet, huh? had to get smart on me?”
you could barely hear him. billy’s usual raspy, and commanding voice was enough to make anyone stand at attention — but now? now you were some cockdrunk whore who didn’t care how she got what she wanted, only that she did. his thrust were hard and fast, hitting a deep spot in you that was making that warmth swell up in you again.
“didn’t want sweet, billy,” you whimpered. “wanted you to use me just like this.”
you weren’t sure what came over you — and billy wasn’t sure either. his thrusts didn’t falter, but he couldn’t understand how the pretty, innocent looking bartender could be so fucking naughty — but only for him. a sense of pride had never welled up inside him like that before, knowing that he was the only one who got to see the prettiest girl in town keen for someone’s touch like this.
his touch. only his touch.
“gonna be the fuckin’ death of me,” he spat against your ear. “should’ve known you’d be such a good girl for me — taking my cock like this. can you cum around my cock like this? gonna be the best girl — and show me how that pussy tightens around me?”
the curse words billy drew from you were not your sunday best, but they made billy’s guttural groans against your throat and ear that much more enticing. you were both covered in sweat, spit, and slick — and nothing had ever felt better. you were close, so close — and all you wanted was to see him finish so you could see it for yourself.
“billy, i’m so close —“ you cried. “but i wanna —i wanna see you —“
“shhh,” he cooed. “gonna take what i give you, sweet girl.”
he sent a hand in between your bodies, and started playing with that spot that had made you explode the last time. you almost protested, but there was nothing like having a man buried so deep inside you do whatever he could to make sure you felt the best you could. you whined, you cried, you screamed, fuck — you did everything to let him know that you were close, billy, i’m so close, please, i’m begging, please don’t stop, and billy refused to look away from your beautiful face as you came undone below him once more.
with your beautiful hair fanned out around you, billy thought you looked ethereal as your second orgasm overtook you. there was something about the way your eyes fluttered softly closed, but broken gasps left your lips like you were so far gone in pleasure that you were lost in it. here, beneath him, before him, was a woman he had spent so much time protecting, so worried about her safety… all he wanted to do was make her feel good. when your limbs began to quiver, knowing you were so deep in your orgasm that you were at the peak, billy couldn’t help himself. he knew you were sensitive, he knew how it would be too much, he knew he shouldn't — but he had to. he was so, so selfish with his greedy girl.
his fingers kept spinning circles on your pink rosebud, and it was like the white light behind your eyes couldn’t stop. you were gasping for air — begging, pleading, hoping, wishing. it was so much. it was too much. it was everything and anything all at once, and you didn’t realize how far you were falling until tears leaked from your eyes.
he should've hated himself for making you feel so lost, but he didn't. not one bit.
“billy —“ you cried, shaking. “i’m so — so sensitive —“
he engulfed you into a long kiss, smiling smugly against your lips. you would’ve laughed with him, but you were so weak. so, so weak. he knew how sensitive you were, and stopped his movements completely. you didn’t realize he hadn’t finished with you until he began to pull out of you.
“billy — you didn’t —“
“s’alright, darlin’—“
“no, it’s not,” you said firmly. “teach me how to do — that thing.”
“that... thing?”
“with my mouth.”
he hesitated before shaking his head. “i don’t… tonight was a lot — for you.”
you narrowed your eyes at him. “boys don’t taste their women, right? men do?”
he scrunched his eyebrows together, confused, but nodded anyway.
“and what about real women, billy?” you asked. “you think they like leaving their men unsatisfied?”
his lips parted at a loss. he couldn’t argue with that, could he?
“sit on the edge of the bed,” you spoke, sliding out from under him and finding a place on the floor.
he hesitated, but he didn’t argue with that, either.
you tried to hide your smirk from him.
he'd never tell you he saw it. he also would never tell you he loved it.
"you gonna tell me what to do, or what, cowboy?" you smirked up at him, taunting.
he shook his head, and pursed his lips in a way that he knew you were in over your head. "you're acting bold. let's see if you got a reason to."
you narrowed your eyes at him, but smiled anyway.
you returned your attention to the muscle you were holding in yours hands. it was long and thick — you weren't sure how it fit inside you before, and you definitely weren't sure how you were going to fit it in your mouth.
"too much for you, darlin'?" he quipped.
you shot him a look. "wasn't too much a minute ago, was it?"
you didn't let him respond. you licked the palm of your hand — throwing manners to the wind — and wrapped your hand around the tip and the top of the shaft. you made circular, stroking motions at the top and licked a stripe, like he did to you, up his shaft.
that shut him up.
a long and drawn out fuuuck had left his lips.
you shouldn't've — you knew you shouldn't've.
but you did anyway.
you started to kitten lick at his balls, and you could feel him shift from above you. hot and heavy groans were leaving his lips, to the point where he was incoherent. now that you had found his sweet spot, you'd never let go. just like he didn't.
"fuck, you are naughty," he rasped, voice dry and cracked. "my naughty girl. so good f'me."
you hummed as you wrapped your lips around the skin of his balls. they were warm and salty, and you relished in the taste. billy placed a heavy palm on the back of your head. you realized then and there he was foreign to giving up control — usually you'd give in, but not now. not when he was teasing you before.
you replaced your hand with your lips, and brought him down as far as you could.
from the corner of your eye, you spotted him beginning to fist the sheets.
tears were springing to your eyes, but you didn't care. you wanted to — had to keep going. you wanted this so badly — to take care of him. you needed this, and if he wanted it, too — he was going to give it to you.
you began to bob your head up and down, taking care to mind your gag reflex and teeth. the slurping sounds from your mouth were obscene — as was the drool falling from your lips, down your cheek, and along the skin of your raw neck.
both of billy's hands were on the back of your head now, giving you slightest — almost ghost like — push down. you welcomed it, hoping to show him you could take him far, farther than he thought you could handle.
above, he was going crazy. fucking nuts. his entire body was hot and on fire, and it took every ounce of him to not drag you back up into his lap and impale you on his cock. however... his muscles were tired, and his sweet girl looked so perfect on her knees before him, and who was he to deny her what she wanted so badly — what she earned?
he'd never tell you — but he wanted you to have it more than you wanted it yourself. he wanted you to know that he only felt comfortable enough with you to be in such a vulnerable position like this — pretty woman, teeth so close to his jewels. he wanted you to know that you were setting every nerve, vein, blood vessel on absolute fucking fire with the way your silky tongue slid down the length of his shaft, and the way your tight, warm throat enclosed around his sensitive cock... he wanted you to know how much he adored you, and how much he wanted to give you everything you had ever wanted.
"fuck, sweetheart —" he bit. "I'm so close — you better — pull off —"
"too much for you, cowboy?" she only pulled off for a second, before she put him into the deepest parts of her throat.
the way you teased him set a raw set of anger and adoration through this veins, and he didn't know what to do with it. he was so weak, tired, spent, and fucking horny — he couldn't move, think, or fight back. all he wanted was to cum down this sweet girl's throat and make her his.
"that's it, baby, fuck —" he spat through gritted teeth, the hands on the back of your head encouraging your movements. "right there, right there — fuck."
you held your place, keeping a few inches of him in your mouth. his thick cock throbbed a few times before ropes of white decorated the walls of your throat, and you swallowed every last drop. you pumped him a few more times, for good measure — and also to get back at him for earlier.
"don't be mean to me, baby —" he whined. "come up and lay with me."
you giggled, crawling up the bed to lay next to him.
"gonna tell me how that was?" you asked. "or too proud?"
he chuckled then. his post orgasm glow was so beautiful... for the first time, william h. bonney didn't have a permanent from embedded in his brow. he looked so... peaceful.
"not too proud to admit that was the best I've ever had in my life," he laughed, letting his eyes close. you trailed a hand up and down the soft skin of his chest and stomach before curling up next to him. "going to be proud after i take you to the courthouse tomorrow and make you my wife."
you scoffed at that. "i didn't think cowboys were the settling down type."
"they're not — but i'm no cowboy, sweetheart," he rasped, turning to look at you. "you're it for me — if you'll have me, that is."
you smiled then. a real smile. the type of smile that gave billy hope.
"on one condition," you spoke.
his eyebrows furrowed, but he nodded his head anyway.
"you'll ask me for real in the morning, mr. bonney."
"i'll give you anything you want, mrs. bonney — as long as you're mine."
---
what did we think?? xox
-L
#billy the kid#William h bonney#william h bonney x reader#kid antrim#billy the kid x reader#william bonney#William bonney smut#billy the kid smut#billy the kid 2022#tom blyth
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
*sad beat-boxing*
#sorry for the absence!!#i depressoed very hard for spring break lmfao#and i binged Naruto#BUT#school kicked me back into gear forcing me to do things 😭#of course art block also hit me when i actually had so much time to draw smh 🙄🙄#but were okay now!! for now 👍👍👍#i really grew into liking the people in my lcass bur dear lord am i ready for that class to be over#everybody there is so cool and nice 🥺#anyways alsjdnsk yeah!!#im still here for good ol stardew#ive been feeling the itch to draw again but ive been waking up soooo late i end up losing it haaaa#and of course i have a project i have to finish first before getting into trying to draw#its always so scary to start the assignment but then you get into it and get through it like okay i did NOT have to stress that much lmfao#my heart literally starts pounding just touching my laptop like bro uni has SCARRED me#i need to find a doc one of these days to help me out cause i dont know if i can Adult right with all this anxiety 😬😬#but yeah!! again lol im alive!!
1 note
·
View note
Text
guys i;am goingt o throw up
#d/ngt rebl/g dear lord. btw#imfreaking the fuck out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1#heres the thing ok. ive been freaking out for the past two days over something that is....... very much not worth freaking out over#like. the catastrophe in my brain is so blaringly obviously untrue. like that would literally never happen + i look like a dumbass for even#thinking it. its so dumb im not even going to say what i was thinking becayse its so stupid and embarrassing#when u take into account the context that makes it so fucking obvious that what im thinking is definitely the opposite of the case#like the people involved here would not act the way they are acting if they secretly had it out to get me or hated me or whatever.#THAT BEING SAID !#god idk whats wrong with me this is wiggingme out so bad#SORRY FOR BEING CRAZY VAGUE LMAO.... LITTLE TOO PERSONAL FOR TUMBLR IG BUT ALSO I CANT TALK ABT IT WITH YM FRIENDS BC ITS SO EMBARRASSING#i think i just need someone to look me in the eyes and call me a dumbass. like im fucking stupid and making shit up. BECAUSE I AM#and i KNOW i am i know so fucking well that im making shit up and being freaked over THE OPPOSITE OF SOMETHING TO FREAK OVER#LIKE LITERAL OPPOSITE. LIKE ITS SO FUCKING STUPID#AND YET HERE I AM. STILL FREAKING OUT#this will all be ok tomorrow like its going to all be fine tomorrow but until then i will be worrying so bad. like so bad. aughhhghghh#and it sucks bc now its bleeding over into everything. hard to do my hw + make plans for an assignment and im so stressed abt it as a resul#like everythign is getting me bc of this hanging over my head. i just found out that a scheduling conflict i thought i had is actually fine#bc one of the things is next week and the other is this week#AND THAT SHOULD BE RELIEVING BUT ITS MAKING ME MORE STRESSED!!!!!!11 WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#this is literally so bad. like this is so bad . like i should not be so hung up over literally nothing. a lack of thing. dear god#AUGHHHGHGHHHHHHHWHWHWHWHHW#OK. DOING MY HOMEWORK NOW. NOT THINKING ABOUT IT.
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
comme-un-stagiaire
Comme un stagiaire en août
weedmarriage
it's a little funny
jiolleillustration
Jiolle
what-youd-expect
Peep the new Icon fellas~
ashesofthegods
the old gods are dead