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dangara2610 · 8 days

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(4/10) Young adult Ulla - Part 11

Hey hey hey

I have to hurry up for serious before I lost my objectives on real life xP

Let me remind you all , I enjoyed too much my 5 years of dayly participation here on Tumblr.

I'm going to keep posting here until I finish to tell you all my ideas, but sadly I've been stopping commenting and sharing other people posts.

I'm sorry but keep in mind that I love you all

Here I go again !!!

Where did I left?

Yeah right

Ulf earned paranormal powers of divination in order to fullyfill his hunger of social interaction sciences (do not mistake with gossiping thirst) So.....

He sended Donella to the location of her lost negligents parent, hopping she can heal her emotional anger wounds

Donella gets back to Cyrus to leave him a series of solid information about Ulla proyects made along with her brother Ulf , and also, all the supplies list

Why? the next step to victory is to convince the next town to invade Nesdernia, rob the supplies and start a figth.

The lie used to win, would be about this pale faces (Faber family) being traitors and being the ones calling the invasors to get in and take the supplies, wood, metals, water, medical herbs, animals for eating or decorations, etc...

So, Donnie is leaving in order to re-meet and work with her identity meaning leaving explosion and destruction behind.

Once again, Ulla and Ulf are trapped on the crossfire on a war that is not theirs

The wedding got cancelled, Faber's family and Sonia's family got a tag to be captured by any of the two belligerents, the locals to jail them and sentence them as criminals, and the invasors to keep the lie and later dispose them.

Ulf is convinced he needs the people to know he is innocent and search the culprit of this mess, and he will use what he knows, but for that, he needs one of the invasors to agree and have a voluntary session of readmind-ing.

But of course that's pretty much impossible, so, Ulla will use her evoluted power of Alchemy to have their own army, repel the invasors and prove their innocence, but, someone stole some of their inventions.

Donella is back at Ingvarr kingdom , not the capital yet, the mines are bigger, the borders too, she made sure to get a fake identity so her ex-prospects won't recognize her

Her few clients don't recognize her but she stops by there to watch the progress, the guy who buyed wifes? He has a mansion , but the deep inside is an hospital, lots of blonde girls and women are pregnant in here.

Don asks for a place to stay and pays to the guy, so that's her chance to get some information of the place, the owner then recognizes her and thanks her for the advices back them, he is rich and powerful

She thanks him back (not amused and not as friendly as he would have liked)

She leaves next day and goes to the capital, the older princess now is queen and the militar propaganda multiplyed

She finds a person who spies on pretty girls who are working on the mines, another one who robs food, probably from the kitchen asigned to the workers, and someone else who is sick and hungry on the streets.

She follows the one who spies on the girls, half day looks like got wasted on nothing, but she discovers this guy runs a brothel, as she suspected.

She trespasses his place and enters his office, the guy has enough money , and once he enters, she's going to make him a proposition.

Of course the guy doesnt trust her bad she make clear she had the upper hand and her intelect his superior to his, so she end up convincing him.

He will buy her weapons and armor to assault the mansion of blondes women and rob the business, so he will own everything.

Once the deal is done, he has to pay and she has to send a message to Cyrus, in order to hide the money and send them merchandising to the location agreed.

Dang!!!!! My advances after this got erased again

Hurry Dan, Hurry !!!!

🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀 Whatever 🌀🌀🌀🌀🌀

All the seven kingdoms, including Nesdernia no matter if its at a civil war, receive the news , princess Rapunzel of Corona kingdom has born.

Don warns to her client about an owner of a brothel wanting to steal his blondes live stock, so he better buy her some weapons.

Sonia asks Ulf to runaway to her original kingdom, but Ulla's parents suggest to let Sonia live with them in Pittsburgh, they came to the conclusion to get back each one to their homes and see if the wedding re-starts after all these mess is solved , Sonia and her family goes back to the borders of Koto.

Failed mission, they couldn't prove their innocence, but Ulf and Tenax (his father) made sure to give the royals a letter with their side of the history.

Donella finds her parents but there is not reconciliation, instead, they fight over who abandoned who and split up as with most dysfunctional families.

Then she enters Ingvarr capitol, with her new skills (and tools robbed form Ulla's alchemy inventions , everything is very easy, to find all the hidden passages, cross them safely, self defense and attack.

She was able to map everything and feed on the minimal, later, she would sell this information, but then, she found the Metal trial on her own, and tried to solve it but failed due to her cynical twisted morals.

I lost track of time

Seee you around

🌾🧶🎮🩷🧶👾🌾❤️🌾🧶👾🩷🪱🌾❤️🧶🎮🌾❤️🧶👾❤️👾🧶🌾🧶🌾🌻❤️👾🧶🪸🧶🩷🧶🎮🌾🩷🧶🌻🎮🩷🧶🎮🌻

#varian #tangled varian #tts varian #varian the alchemist #rta varian #varian tts #rapunzels tangled adventure #varian and the seven kingdoms #vat7k #Ulf Vat7k #ulla vat7k #vat7k donella #Varian lost extended family #hugo vat7k

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dying-suffering-french-stalkers · 3 years

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For the ship game: prime numbers for Lupin x Jigen!

HERE YOU GO GHOST, THIS WAS FIVE PAGES IN A GOOGLE DOC AND TOOK ME SEVERAL HOURS

Under a cut, allegedly, though mobile has been known to just IGNORE THAT. Sorry in advance if this gets goofed for anyone.

2) Who is always horny and will have sex at any time, in any place?

Lupin, obviously (and canonically). Just the horniest man you ever did see. Jigen knows what he wants and when he wants it, but he has difficulty keeping up with Don Juan Triumphant over there. Lupin is also far less picky about locations and times than Jigen is. Jigen still has a FEW standards, thank you, and also a stronger sense of self-preservation. Lupin sometimes tries to start shit in public or during a heist and Jigen is like “I REALLY, REALLY APPRECIATE THE SENTIMENT BUT CAN WE NOT.” The closest to public anything Jigen will put up with is bar bathroom/back-alley hookups, and he doesn’t really tend to do that with Lupin or Goemon since they have secondary locations far more suited to such activity (or at least the damn Fiat, if nothing else). That said, Jigen is a spiteful bastard and gets a huge kick out of riling Lupin up over the walkie-talkie during jobs. He is more than happy to get jumped by his boss after they make it out and secure the loot.

3) Who is more into taking showers/baths together? Who tries to make it relaxing and who tries to make it sexy time?

Honestly, while I can totally see Lupin and Jigen doing this with their other partners, I have a harder time imagining the two of them doing this together and I’m not sure why. I feel like these two on their own both like the privacy bathing gives them, whether it’s to clean wounds or decompress from a job.

On the occasions when they do bathe together, I feel like it’s an unspoken kind of thing, where the other person quietly slips in the tub/shower with them and they just don’t bother protesting. I think Lupin is more likely to join Jigen in his bathing, but if Jigen is sleepy enough or lonely enough he might do the same. There is a lot of mutual appreciation of scars. They’ve definitely smoked in the tub before (Intricate Rituals™). Lupin is probably more likely to get handsy, because Lupin, but two can play that game if Jigen is feeling it, and also Jigen gives Lupin a run for his money in the staring department. No hat to hide behind now.

Lupin has also 100% done the whole “Hey Jigen, do you know if—stop screaming, it’s me—do you know if we have any more instant dashi? Goemon’s gonna slice up the sofa if I ruin soba night again.”

5) Who sleeps on the couch when they get into a fight?

Jigen, but to be fair, he canonically sleeps on the couch most nights (possibly to keep an eye on the door, possibly because he knows that place, at least, is always “acceptable” for him to occupy). It’s an odd night if you don’t see Jigen out there with a glass and a bottle of scotch and an old movie on TV. The main difference is that if he and Lupin have been fighting, he won’t bother with the formality of a glass and the TV will be playing far louder or not at all.

7) [A] Who said “I love you” first? And [B] who ends their arguments in a fight with “Because I love you”?

I hate to take the coward’s way out here, but I think the answers are A) either one - depends on the headcanon/fic/version of the characters I’m feeling that day, and B) both.

For A, they’re both the sort of people to show their love—true love/affection, not just flirtation/infatuation, LUPIN—in action, not words. Lupin is a man of many words to a fault, generous with his verbal and physical affection, so Lupin has to find a way to make sure Jigen knows he means it and how he means it. He may rightly fear that Jigen won’t believe him (or else believe him but take it platonically) if he says “I love you” to his face, so first he’ll show him through every little action he can. Jigen is a man of few words to a fault, so saying personal stuff like that out loud is both a last resort and the point of no return. Getting him to say it at all, unambiguously, and while sober is like pulling teeth. Once one of them finally spits it out, though, I think the other is quick to reciprocate (again, if they manage to say it clearly and under good circumstances and not ambiguously/while drunk or wounded/etc. They’re both idiots and selective cowards so this is a big if). The mutual relief is palpable and immediately followed by sex, because they’re both (horny) idiots and selective cowards who do not want to talk about Emotions and Personal Things any more than strictly necessary.

For B, ohhhh man, if it isn’t that same emotional avoidance coming to bite them in the asses! Looks like talking about deep emotions is strictly necessary after all! You know it’s a Big Important Argument for them if this is what it comes to. This is going to tie in somewhat to the answers for 11, 17, and 23, so stay tuned. “Because I love you” coming from either of them should give the other pause, but if they are angry enough, they’re both quite likely to storm off after that declaration anyway. They’ll come back and have a real discussion later, but the shock or frustration of that arresting declaration dropped in the middle of an argument is something neither of them are great at dealing with. Hearing that from Jigen might be enough to stop Lupin in his tracks, but Lupin might also be so dead-set on something that he’ll steamroll right over it even if he knows he’ll regret it later. Hearing that from Lupin probably only makes Jigen angrier because of his awful self-esteem (see answers 11 and 23), and even if he’s been working on that, his instinct will be to snarl “Yeah, right” and storm out the door. I like to think that one day they are able to get to the heart of the argument sooner (because this is almost always it) and work on the behaviors that worry the other so much, but alas, they are a mess.

11) Who makes fun of the other for having a crush on them, and who has to remind them that they are in a relationship?

Once again, either of them depending on the day.

As you mentioned in your JiGoe post, Jigen says it partly because he thinks it’s funny (“You have a crush on me, Boss? Fuckin’ embarrassing”) but also because he’s fishing for validation. His self-esteem/confidence in anything outside his shooting skills is shit and he still can’t quite believe that Lupin isn’t lying/he hasn’t conned Lupin into something. This is rather overestimating his conning skills and underestimating his many good qualities, but, well, genuine, lasting affection is kinda new for him. Much to Jigen’s annoyance, Lupin figures out exactly what Jigen’s up to after the first few times and answers him seriously (and positively) instead of continuing the “joke”. Lupin loses patience for this particular tactic over time but I like to think that Jigen finally begins believing in the affection, too, so it comes up less and less and one day Jigen might actually play the quip straight without the self-deprecation. Ideally he would just take the damn compliment, but it’s LupJig and banter is one of their love languages.

When Lupin says it, he typically is playing the quip straight and fondly giving Jigen shit for showing an Emotion and motherFUCKER I just realized Jigen could probably be considered a tsundere. I hate this. ANYWAY. Jigen then immediately snarks back that yes, Lupin, considering we’ve been travelling the world together and actively fucking for X years, it’d be damn awkward if I didn’t by now.

13) Who initiates duets? and who is the better singer?

Lupin absolutely initiates duets, or rather, he tries to; whether or not Jigen actually chimes in is another matter entirely. Lupin is also the better singer by far (when he’s sober). He loves singing along to pop and rock in the car (“This is the reason God invented America!”).

Much as it would please me personally to give Jigen a smooth operatic baritone, there’s no way in hell he sounds good after smoking a pack a day for twenty-something years. I think Jigen can carry a tune and he’s a decent hummer and whistler, but his singing voice isn’t spectacular.

Lupin occasionally succeeds in getting Jigen to join him in car karaoke, though as in all things, Lupin is much louder and more impassioned. Jigen frequently hums along under his breath, though, and Lupin loves hearing Jigen’s a cappella renditions of classical music (complete with hand motions).

When Queen starts becoming popular, car singalongs become much more involved because it’s MY silly headcanon and You Are Not Immune To Queen. Jigen cried the first time he heard “Bohemian Rhapsody” and he will kill Lupin if he ever tells Goemon or, God forbid, Fujiko. When the four of them are in the car it’s a full-on Wayne’s World headbanging party. (Pops is the drunk guy they pick up along the way. Also, seeing Payless Shoe Source in this clip dealt me psychic damage.)

Lupin and Jigen (and Goemon) are the living embodiment of the drunk friends singing “Sweet Caroline” post, and Jigen is specifically this version of “Sweet Caroline”.

17) Who is more protective?

THAT IS THE QUESTION, HUH, GHOST? Jigen’s job and, to a certain degree, raison d’être is protecting Lupin, but (to cheat slightly and quote your own DM to me), if you think Lupin won’t raze everything to the ground to keep Jigen (and the others) safe, you don’t know him at all. They are this meme to the deepest of faults. They are both so desperately afraid of losing what they have (and in Lupin’s case, this is tinged with a bonus, even more concerning “what is his”) that they will go full self-sacrificing, scorched-earth policy. This is, in fact, my favorite reason for Lupin to do the worst thing he does: fake his own death to protect his partners. Lupin never stops to think that maybe, JUST MAYBE, he should trust his partners to fake grief and keep the secret long enough for whoever’s on their tail to give up or let their guard slip. Lupin is willing to hurt them in an effort to protect them, so in that way, I suppose Lupin is the “most” “protective”. Jigen’s self-abasement to the point of unhesitating and perhaps even hasty sacrifice is painful, too, but Jigen would never dare go to the same level of deception (except in Goodbye, Partner, apparently? But 1) I haven’t watched it yet and 2) while awful, I still feel like fake betrayal pales in comparison to very convincingly (AND MAYBE REPEATEDLY) faked death).

19) Who drives and who has the window seat?

They split driving duties, but Lupin genuinely loves driving and Jigen is more than happy to prop his feet on the Fiat’s dashboard and smoke or sleep the hours away.

23) Who thinks they are not good enough for the other’s love? and who’s more afraid of losing the other? Who thinks they keep messing up, only for the other to tell them they don’t need to worry?

HERE WE GO AGAIN!!! I think the answer to all of these is ultimately Jigen, but that’s not to say Lupin doesn’t share the exact same worries.

Jigen has a very difficult time believing that his partners’ love is genuine, and since Lupin is the one he knew first, that’s where it first manifests. Jigen has had very, very few good romantic connections in his life (if any). He doesn’t know what Lupin could possibly see in an older, prickly hired killer with a drinking problem and a head full of demons. He’s willing to believe that Lupin keeps him around for his skills, for protection, and for sex, sure, but anything past that? Doubtful. This ties into the other two parts of the question: Jigen is afraid that if he fails in his sharpshooting or his protection, he will be cut out of the gang, or worse, Lupin will end up dead because Jigen slipped up. As mentioned in question 17, Jigen cannot bear to lose Lupin and he would never forgive himself if he believed it was somehow his fault. Accordingly, Jigen takes “failure” that exceeds his usual margin of error very seriously in the early days. Later, he is better about this, but the worst-case scenario still stands.

Lupin, on the other hand, has had plenty of romantic connections, some good, some bad, though it is perhaps telling that Fujiko is his longest romantic relationship other than Jigen. He is afraid that if he doesn’t put on the world’s greatest show at all times, no one will give a rat’s ass about some scrawny grandson of an old French thief (or the perhaps unwanted/disliked son of a ruthless crime lord, because I love that fanon for Lupin the Second). He must live up to and indeed surpass the previous Lupins, he must shower his partners in money and adventure, he must always, always come out on top no matter how south the plan goes, or else what is the point of him? It takes time for him to turn his persona off for more than a few seconds, to let the quieter, sometimes contemplative side that slips through the cracks come to rest out in the open. Years down the road, Jigen finally gets up the courage and the words to tell Lupin that he would love him no matter what he did or where he went, even if that was nothing and nowhere. And again, see question 17 re: losing Jigen.

29) Who does some crazy stunt to try and impress the other and who ends up driving them to the emergency room after it backfires?

Lupin is by far the most guilty of this. He’s constantly pulling dumb shit, whether that be for World-Renowned Gentleman Thief reasons or just He May Be Stupid reasons. Case in point: the tunnel scene in The First, after which Jigen was duly impressed. Fortunately for Lupin, Lady Luck must be head over heels for him because the bastard keeps surviving, but sometimes even she can’t save him from medical consequences. Jigen bulk-ordered “Stupid Hurts” band-aids specifically for Lupin. Jigen’s bad choices are more likely to literally backfire on him, but Goemon more than makes up for Jigen’s slack in the Crazy Stunt department.

#I CARE THEY #hope this is comprehensible bc i honestly cannot tell #i have many thoughts on these two human disasters #lupin iii #jigen #asks #the-golden-ghost #long post #meta #I GUESS #can you believe i wrote five pages of meta about 1970s comedy anime characters? fucking hell. i love this fandom.#ship meme

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misscrazyfangirl321 · 2 years

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*Cracks fingers* For the lady herself, Robyn: 4, 12, 15, 18, 21, 25, 47, 48, 51, 60, 61, 69, 93? (I'm. Sorry if that's too many numbers)

4. How many languages do they know?

This 1000% depends on the universe. More than almost any other personality trait/characteristic of hers, I think.

Immortal AU- Dozens. She tries to learn a new language at least every five years.

Yokai AU- Several, mostly the languages of groups she commonly interacts with/houses.

SLR/Role Reversal- Maybe three. It’s not as much of a priority in either of these universes.

BASICALLY Robyn’s relationship with language tends to hinge on what she needs, but if she Becomes Immortal, she’s absolutely going to learn some languages.

12. How do they cope with struggles?

Mostly by drawing inward, reflecting on things. Once she and Julius are together, though, she definitely leans on him as well.

15. Can you name 5 personality traits they have?

Caring, patient, gentle, protective, creative

18. What flaws do they have?

In most universes, she’s a little too trusting. Or at the very least, she’ll ignore the feeling in her gut telling her that something’s wrong if she thinks she can help someone. (Does Not Apply To Hannibal, because the Protect Julius instinct overrides this.)

While she’s slow to actually turn on someone, she’s also very slow to come around if someone does lose her trust.

21. What are their hobbies?

You already saw my answer to this, but I feel like she also enjoys inventing ice cream flavors.

25. If they were given the task to prank someone, who would it be, what would they do, and would the prank work?

.... Ohhh goodness. Robyn is. Not much of a prankster. Her idea of a prank would probably be to like. Put a sweet post-it note in the left pocket of Julius’ lunchbox instead of the right, so it takes him five seconds longer to find it, or something.

47. Are they quick to judge?

Not usually, no! She tries to keep a pretty open mind about people.

48. Do they have anything they are trying to hide from others?

In Yokai, she tries to hide that she’s from Atlantis. In the Immortal AU, she tries to hide the fact that she’s immortal. In the SLR universe, she tries to hide the fact that she really doesn’t like the cookies someone makes (identity undecided).

51. Do they like science?

She likes that it exists, but it definitely isn’t her focus or anything.

60. In a crowed room are they in the corners, sides, or in the middle?

She’s locating the people she wants to talk to and standing with them, wherever they are. Not usually the center of attention, or hiding in the corner, but just drifting from person to person (usually far fewer than are actually at the event).

61. Are they comfortable being in a crowed room?

It’s not, like, her favorite enviroment, but she doesn’t freak out or anything. She’d rather be somewhere quiet, though.

69. Would they ever wear a flower crown?

If someone made one for her, she’d probably wear it, but she probably wouldn’t go looking for one.

73. Do they have any markings on their body?

Mmmm probably not, no.

#answered #thanks for the ask!#lattes of love #robyn #no need to apologize!!! not too many at all!

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singeramg · 4 years

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Congratulations on your 500 followers! I would like to make a request for 9 .“Just don’t break anything…again!” with Henry. Thank you!

Hey world! Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA when it comes to writing, or at least posting! Don’t worry continuations of my WIP’s are coming but I also wanted to challenge myself to break my mold of writing and try to have a little fun. Also I wanted to show my appreciation of all of you and your support of what I do!

So to anon this is something from my Fluff! Henry collection! I hope you enjoy it as much as I had fun with it!

Title: Lava and Kids Don’t Mix

Characters: Dad!Henry Cavill x Female Reader

Prompt: “Just Don’t Break Anything...Again!”

Rating: G!

Warning: None, just fluff, mention of injury, and a slightly broody Cavill man.

MasterList for more fun!

Henry Cavill was in a panic.

You only had one rule before you left to spend the day with his mother. Leaving him in charge of your two 5 year old twin boys Mitchell and Michael for the day. He was supposed to keep it simple, take the boys to the park with Kal and your 2 year old Jack Terrier Russell Sandy. You knew the boys would run off all access energy at the park and after they ate the soup and sandwiches you made for all of them before you left, they would down for their nap, and you would be home and starting dinner just after they woke up.

Simple plan right?

Right?

Wrong.

Needless to say things didn’t anyways go to plan in the Cavill household when dealing with two rambunctious twins that looked and acted like their father and two dogs, and also an unexpected rainstorm that shortened the park trip that saw the Cavill men playing the floor is lava, while Henry warmed up the soup in the kitchen. Ignoring the roughhousing like he tended to do when you weren’t around because he grew up with four brothers and “boys will be boys.” Of course Mitchell managed to miss the couch cushions he was supposed to land on, and landed on his left arm and on top of his brother. The subsequent scream of pain sent Henry flying from the kitchen, and to his horror found two crying kids on the floor. One holding his arm hollering and the other reeling from his brother landing halfway on him, therefore he was crying too. Henry runs back to the stove switching it off and then running back over to his children which now had a dog sniffing at their faces. Henry picks up Michael first sitting him on the couch and his whimpers are already settling down but Mitchell was still hollering and holding his arm.

“Oh no.”

Henry picks up Michell off the floor who curls into his father's side.

“Mitchell can I see your arm?”

Slowly; the still whimpering child lifts his arm, and the second Henry delicately touches the arm, it sends Mitchell into a scream of pain and fresh tears.

Oh dear.

He notes the boy’s arm has begun to swell and is awfully red. He carries him into the kitchen and puts a ice pack on it and knows he is going to have to take him to the hospital.

In the biggest rush known to man he gathers the twins and puts an SOS to you. Tossing things around the house until he located his wallet, and keys, just avoiding a vase on the table, that you loved. His son hollers louder held in his arms.

You were going to kill him.

You literally left the house with a “ Just don’t break anything again” as a joke but now it looked like it was coming true...

*Hospital*

The small group was ushered back fairly quickly into a room and for once Henry was slightly glad of his celebrity when it came to his family. He often was irritated when he found intrusive photographs of his family plastered all over the web but this time one look at his license had gotten them into a private room and waiting for Mitch to come back from X-rays. He had called you on the way to the hospital, but you didn’t answer so he left a message and tried his mother with the same result. He had tried a few times but he knew coverage could be spotty and he wasn’t exactly sure of what his mother planned for you. He knew you would feel terrible about not answering not to mention he hated putting you through undo stress because you were carrying the third child of the Cavill brood. That had been the only reason you even went today was to get a breather without a five year old pulling at your skirts, especially since he had just gotten back from filming just over a week ago.

Yep. You just might kill him…

At least he thought. He always worried as a father about his children and where you were concerned he wanted to be everything he couldn’t be when he was away filming. You were such a wonderful mother and he just wanted to match what you did for the family. This was not it.

Mike is sleepily resting on Henry’s arm as his brief stint with crying had left him knackered. Henry happens to look down at the arm that Mitchell landed on and noticed he is starting to bruise over his arm. Henry is just beginning to look over his sons arm for the extent of the damage when simultaneously while he was touching Mike’s forearm ; there is a similar spot to his brother’s just on the opposite arm that is red and swollen and soon as he touches it gently, Mike cries out; waking up from his sleep, and also you walk in the door.

Alarmed to find one of her sons crying. Mike notices you almost instantly, crying and running over to you.

“Oh my little man what’s the matter?”

“Daddy hurt my arm!” The young boy calls out and wants the comfort of your arms but of course you couldn’t lift him. Normally you would get onto him about that, but that could be saved for later. Besides he was child so his thoughts would be more literal meaning that Henry must have touched his arm or something.

You lean down as best you could with your 6 month stomach which was reaching the point of cumbersome, but not making you totally immobile as it did with the twins at this point, squatting so you are eye level with him and he wraps himself around you, letting you gently lift his arm. He starts hollering at your slight touch coming further into the room with his mother and father close behind.

You only had one rule really when you left the house this morning and that was for Henry not to break anything...again! However considering you had known whatever happened in your way here, this was a mistake.

The last time you left them alone for an extended amount of time the TV had been broken during a game of catch that you had already told them not to play in the house the night before you went out for the Bridal Shower.

Needless to say you hadn’t been happy with the situation at the time and it was a material thing that could be replaced. Now here you were coming to a hospital cradling one child while the other...wait...where was Mitchell?

“Daddy hurt your arm? I think that may not be the whole truth but it’s okay we can deal with it later. Okay well let’s see if we can get a really nice doctor to take a look at it and I’ll talk to Daddy.”

You say comforting him and pretending to be mad at Henry who honestly already looks wrecked about whatever had happened between the time that you left and now. You press the call button and someone comes in almost immediately which notoriously did not happen; but you weren’t complaining. You asked for them to take a look at Mike as well. They agreed without much problem and after creating a little band for his wrist they agreed to X-ray him and gave him something for his pain.

You waddle over to the chair next to Henry who actually picks up Mike and lets him sit on his lap. He says his hellos to his parents who know the look of exhaustion and being resigned to fate way too well. They take seats as well.

“So where’s the other half of our set?”

You mildly joke.

“He should be back any moment; they’ve taken him to get an X-Ray.”

At that moment a wheel chair appears with a sleepy child in it, his blue eyes drifting in and out of lucidness.

“Moooommmmmmy!!!!”

He says but his voice is dragging indicating they had given him something to ease the pain. You let the nurse help him into bed and go over to him while Henry’s parents take over for comforting Mike.

“Hi baby. How’s your arm?”

“It was hurt-ed momma but it’s not anymore. I feels weird. I sleepy.”

You push back his riotous, dark curls with a soft hand.

“Okay baby go to sleep; Daddy and mommy will be here when you wake up.”

He drifts off and the nurse comes to take Mike for his X-Ray and with the alert child gone; a worried grandfather in tow to watch over him and the other sleeping, you sit back down with a sore back and a smile.

“So what really happened in the couple of hours I was gone.”

Henry looks sheepish; and rubs the back of his neck., his natural curls smushing under his fingers.

“Well we went to the park, but the rain washed us out earlier than intended. So we went back to the house and I cut on a movie, but the boys were playing and the floor was lava and the next thing I heard was a scream...”

“Wait...’the floor is lava’?”

“Yes. Our floors are made of lava and seeing as you can’t touch lava it meant jumping around while I warmed up lunch.”

You sigh but one look at the giant puppy that was your husband, you knew he honestly couldn’t feel any worse than what was happening right now. You were just glad no one had head injuries or irreversible damage. You absently rub your stomach and place a hand on a broad shoulder.

“I feel terrible Y/N. I didn’t think a little rough housing would come to this. My brothers and I had injuries but it was usually from tossing each other around and Rugby. Somehow we managed to avoid the hospital due to our roughhousing.”

You sit up and kiss your husband on the cheek. Henry was an internalizer, so you knew if he looked this upset right now then he felt 100 times worse inside.

“Things happen baby it will be okay. If it makes you feel any better they would have created an even more perilous game. They like to invent new ways to make me tear out my hair.”

The room laughs;

“They don’t normally end up in the emergency room when they are with you...or do they?”

He asks and you laugh shaking your head.

“No, but I’ve had a few close calls that made me question whose bright idea was it to have multiple children at the same time. They can be a handful individually. Babe, don’t beat yourself up about it.”

You rub at his shoulder as a comfort. Henry accepts it and caresses the top with his own. Soon Mike is in a similar state as his brother and they got him in a bed next to him. With both of them unconscious the doctor comes back in with X-ray reports that says both of them have a broken arm.

You sigh and Henry looks devastated and you only shake your head knowing the twins never did anything by the half’s nor did they ever do anything alone.

“I guess the Cavill men don’t do anything by the half huh. I asked all of them not to break anything and they managed it times two.”

A/N: This was meant to be fluff about a peak in the life of Henry Cavill with Children.

More celebration prompt fics will be posted when I wake up in the am because after work today I just do not have it in me to edit anything else tonight, but I hope you enjoyed this for what it is.

TAGLIST: (OPEN)

Henry tag list

@msblkfire84 @magdelen69 @peeyewpeeyew @agniavateira @fcgrizi @diehadess @mary-ann84 @snowbellexx @tearsontape13 @tvdplusriverdale @p3nny4urth0ught5 @laxgirl1799 @crazymexicanfangirl @iloveyouyen @oddduckthatgirl @pinkcollectorparadiseblr @sweetybuzz25 @normatural

#Henry Cavill #henry cavill x reader #500 follower celebration #anon ask #dad!cavill #au henry cavill fanfiction

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sincerelyreidburke · 4 years

Note

please tell me more about boy scout dex

My friend, let me firstly apologize because I know I did sit on your ask for a little while. I think it’s been a month (?) since I posted that original random text-post about Boy Scout Dex, but as I mentioned in this brief PSA, I haven’t forgotten about him. I come to you today with a bullet-list!

As an FYI, I am definitely going to write actual prose fic about this in the future, so stay tuned. For now: let’s talk about Dex’s Boy Scout backstory.

- The first thing we should establish is that this is in the CCU. If you don’t know what the CCU is, it’s just my understanding of the canon universe. CCU stands for Cromwell Cinematic Universe, named for a stuffed lobster Dex has named Cromwell. Given that canon has never directly contradicted the idea of Dex having a stuffed lobster, I elect that this is the closest I’ll come to being canon-compliant. Prove me wrong. :D

- Anyway, the CCU is a series on ao3; you can read it here. Boy Scout Dex is simply another part of Dex’s colorful history.

- It’s really not that colorful, actually. I mean, he’s Dex. He comes to college afraid of baking.

- Anyway. Let’s talk, shall we? (This is going to get long, so under the cut we go.)

- In the CCU, Dex lives in Bar Harbor, which is one of Maine’s more famous towns, tucked into the east side of Mount Desert Island, which is just off the coast, and is the largest island in Maine. This is not a geography lesson, but since we’re here, here’s a visual. The little marked location is MDI, and then Samwell would be in the center-left bottom of the map.

- Anyways, with that digression aside, I’m bringing up Dex’s hometown/home island for two reasons: one, because I went and looked it up, and there is a Boy Scout troop there (Troop 89, though I was prepared to invent one if there wasn’t one on-island), and two, because the natural world around the island will become important later for Scout reasons.

- In order to proceed, let me introduce you to a few members of the CCU Poindexter-family expanded universe. MDI isn’t so small that everybody on the island knows everybody— the population is 10,000, which is just around the same as my own hometown, and I definitely don’t know everybody here. But what is true about my hometown is that there are certain families who have prominent roles in the community, and I would absolutely say that the Poindexter family is well-known on the island.

- They’re a very blue-collar, Irish Catholic, patriotic American family. Dex has cousins, aunts, uncles, and extended relatives galore. Dex’s uncles are notable enough in canon for him to mention them multiple times; in the CCU, he has 6 uncles on his pa’s side and another 3 on his ma’s. We’ll focus mostly on the Poindexter side for the purposes of Scout Dex.

- I have a feeling that the 7 Poindexter brothers (aka Pa and the 6 uncles) were probably all involved in one way or another with Scouts or at least some other community-building activity as kids. The one who rose to the top was Uncle Ronny, who is now the Scout Master for the troop on the island.

- Yes, I learned a copious amount of Boy Scout terms to make this post.

- Anyway, Uncle Ronny is a carpenter by day, and he takes the scouting stuff seriously; he sees it as a sort of civic duty. He has one son and three daughters (the female Poindexter cousins probably do Girl Scouts, but that’s a discussion for another time), and all his kids participate.

- Dex’s Pa, Will Sr., definitely also was super into this growing up. (In the historical AU I’m writing, Pa was in the Navy, and I cry every day thinking about how he can’t be in it in the CCU. This, as well as his general nautical lifestyle, is my consolation to myself.)

- Okay, so what do they actually do?

- Dex and his cousins grow up in the program. I feel like tiny redheads make up a solid fifty percent of the MDI Cub Scout troop in the late 90s and early 2000s. Dex is extremely outdoorsy even from a young age, and he loves Scouting, through and through— from the camps in the summer to earning badges and working his way up in ranks to even just spending time with his cousins. Cub Scout-era Dex sort of comes before all the repression, self-deprecation, and regression into the hardened, temperamental person he shows up at Samwell as. So in other words, Cub Scout Dex is a generally happy kid.

- Cub Scouts are from around kindergarten to fourth grade, or ages 5-10. Once you’re about 10 and a half, you move to general Boy Scouting, aaaaand this is where the fun begins, because in my research, I discovered…

- Sea Scouting.

- Sea Scouting is essentially a subdivision of the general Boy Scout program, and it’s exactly what it sounds like: Boy Scouts but with more nautical themes. Look… you guys… they wear fucking sailor suits… I’m physically deceased… I don’t think you understand how much I need this in Dex’s life.

- Has you or a loved one ever thought, hey, Mel, (that’s yours truly), do you by any chance have a thing about sailor suits? You may be entitled to the knowledge that you’re right…

- Pretty much every Poindexter who did Boy Scouts was also involved in the Sea Scout program. Why? Uhhhhh… they live on the ocean and have a fishery and also just think about all that sweet sweet oceanic Dex symbolism—

- Right, okay, so things that are important to Dex during his time as a Scout: oceanic conservation, also conservation on land because Acadia National Park is right on MDI, boating safety, actual sailing. Fun fact: they have sailing competitions.

- Through the entirety of his Scouting life, Dex is really close with Uncle Ronny. He’s one of probably three cousins who are the most active in the program, and I’m jumping the gun a little on myself here, but he definitely does get Quartermaster. This is the highest rank you can get in the program, and it’s taken very seriously by everyone involved. It’s the Sea Scouting equivalent of Eagle Scout, which is probably much more familiar to most of you.

- Uncle Ronny is his go-to uncle for all things Scouting and also probably all things outdoorsy.

- Some time later, when Dex comes out to his family, Uncle Ronny will take it very, very hard. Although other uncles will come around, his relationship with Ronny will never really recover.

- Anyway! We are not going down that road at this moment in time. Let’s move on.

- By the way, the entire troop is definitely really closely tied with the island’s Catholic church. They very likely wear religious emblems on their uniforms. There’s a lot about God in the general guidelines of being a Boy Scout, and the troop is all over this. Because New England Irish Catholics.

- Okay, Dex gets Quartermaster. It’s the highest honor a Sea Scout can have. The core tenets/skills, fun fact, include: swimming, safety, marlinspike seamanship (???), boat handling, ground tackle, navigation, weather, and environment. He’d be getting this right around the same time he’s graduating high school. To get Quartermaster, you have to physically take control of a boat for like 40 hours, with other Scouts as witness. That is super badass.

- Also, I need you guys to see these uniforms. If someone drew Dex in this, I’d die.

- This is getting so long; I’m so sorry. Okay, some other time, remind me to talk about Dex’s internal struggle in response to the Boy Scouts homosexuality controversy. (I won’t go super into this right now, but essentially, until recently, gay men couldn’t be troop leaders. Gay youth membership has also been… generally discouraged, without being directly prohibited. There’s a lot to unpack there.)

- But, y’know! Poindexter family tradition, right???

- Aside from all the nautical skills, Dex’s Scout background translates to this at Samwell: he’s always prepared. The Boy Scout motto is literally Be Prepared. I think it’s easy to see, from all our canon knowledge of Dex, how this kind of background could factor into his character.

- I mean, the boy is constantly volunteering himself to fix things.

- Okay!!!! At the risk of making my longest text post ever, I will stop here for now. But please know: my ask box is open. There will be fic about this, and probably more of these bullet-list text posts. Ask or send me anything you’d like.

Thank you very much for the ask, and thank you for your patience while I put this together!

#omgcp #omgcheckplease #william poindexter #boy scout dex #cromwell the stuffed lobster

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handeaux · 4 years

Text

Pranks & Put-Ons Mark Old-Time Cincinnati April Fools’ Days

Readers of the Cincinnati Enquirer gasped in astonishment one day in 1887 as they read how Jocko, the headliner elephant at the Cincinnati Zoo, burst his cage, raided the park’s barroom and stumbled through a crazy bender, smashing cages and trampling flowers, finally charging a tourist train and beaning himself against the locomotive.

Astute subscribers would have noticed the publication date. Yes, it was April 1, and the entire pachydermic escapade, illustrations and all, was fiction, an elaborate April Fools’ joke.

History explains why Zoo administrators may still cringe whenever the first day of April rolls around. Do kids still ask unsuspecting adults to telephone the Zoo and return a call from Mister Fox? There are undoubtedly Cincinnatians still living who participated in such tomfoolery. (Your proprietor pleads the Fifth.) Those phone calls to the Zoo were considered old-fashioned even 98 years ago, according to the Cincinnati Post [1 April 1922]:

“There was nothing new in the way of April fool jokes Saturday except the boobs who fell for them. Avon 134, the Zoo telephone, was as busy with calls from persons who wished to talk to Mr. Baer, Mr. Wolf and Mr. Lyon as it was on the day the joke first came from the feeble mind that invented it.”

According to the Post, a lot of people also called the dog pound, asking for Mr. Barker.

Cincinnati’s police and fire departments used to get their share of April Fool prank calls. In 1874, a cop named Murphy used the police telegraph system to report a fire at the corner of Sixth and Stone streets. Needless to say, there was no Murphy on duty and Sixth Street did not intersect Stone.

Even the local courts engaged in the spirit of misrule. On 1 April 1921, Police Court magistrate W. Meredith Yeatman gazed upon four sorry miscreants, charged with stealing rides on freight trains. The judge solemnly intoned a sentence of thirty days and a fifty-dollar fine, plus costs. As the defendants groaned, the judge brightened up and announced that was an April Fool joke. (He did order the men to leave town within three hours.)

In 1904, the president of the truck drivers’ union, John Mullen, saw one of his members dashing frantically down the street, still struggling into his coat. Mullen asked the cause of his agitated flight and the teamster shouted that he was late for work, it being after 5:00 a.m. Mullen informed him that the bells were just about to ring 1:00 a.m. and the teamster shamefacedly trundled home to confront his mischievous landlady.

How far back did Cincinnati endure April Fool hoaxes? Pretty far back, as it turns out – all the way back to 1849. In 1904, retired house painter Charles Stewart decided to celebrate his 55th wedding anniversary by getting a new marriage certificate to replace the original, lost some years before. As Marriage License Clerk Fred Bader issued the official duplicate, he noted the date of Stewart’s original marriage – 1 April 1849. Stewart confessed that, when he told his friends back in 1849 he had married pretty Martha Dawson that morning, they all thought it was an April Fool joke.

Reading about vintage pranks, it strikes the modern reader how casually cruel our ancestors could be. As you might expect, some old-fashioned tricks included exploding cigars or soap-filled cream puffs, but some could be dangerous and even fatal.

A group of Price Hill boys hauled a dozen empty coal oil cans up a hill at the western end of Gest Street for April Fool entertainment in 1872, and set them on fire. For added effect, they had filled one of the cans halfway with gasoline. When the inevitable explosion rocked the city, newspapers sent reporters scurrying to locate the cause. By then, they boys were in the wind, thankfully unharmed.

In 1901, someone sent word to a Covington widow that her son had been run over by a delivery wagon and was dying in a Dow drug store in Cincinnati. The elderly woman and her daughter hired a cab and raced to almost every Dow outlet in the city, being informed at each one that no one injured had been brought there. At length, they retreated to Covington where they anxiously awaited grim news. Eventually, the young man, ignorant of their distress, came whistling up the block, in perfect health. His elderly mother collapsed and required medical care. It had all been a wicked joke.

In 1904, two doctors, brothers Chase Ferris and Charles Ferris, ended up in court when their April Fool joke sent at least two people to the hospital. Both victims had eaten oysters and drank beer at a lodge meeting and became violently ill. Attorney Hiram Rulison alleged that the Ferris brothers had intentionally poisoned the refreshments as an April Fool joke, but had exceeded the intended dosage.

One thing was certain: Uncle Sam has no sense of humor. A Cincinnati lawyer discovered this the hard way. As April Fool’s Day 1905, approached, Attorney Charles F. Williams came across what he thought was the perfect gag for his girlfriend. A local shop sold a bundle of newspapers, carved through the center to hide a stash of fake candy – red-pepper-filled chocolates, soap-flavored caramels, that sort of thing. The recipient, believing the newspaper container to be the trick, was likely to fall victim to the inedible candy.

Williams bought and mailed the booby-trap and then heard . . . nothing. A week later, he was summoned to the Post Office where he learned his joke was now evidence of a federal crime. By mailing the joke as “newspapers,” he had defrauded the postal service, because it should have been mailed a “merchandise,” which would, of course, have ruined the joke.

Uncle Sam was not laughing. Williams faced a potential $100 fine, plus a year in prison. By chance, Attorney Williams was known to Postal Inspector A.R. Holmes, who offered a lenient judgement of a $10 fine and postage due. Williams paid.

#April Fool #april fools' day #cincinnati zoo

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anangelicday-mrwolf · 4 years

Text

Wolfsbane : Noblesse Fanfic (post-ending)

(previous chapter)

Chapter 5 – Frankenstein’s Shadow

‘He wouldn’t give me that murderous glare of his just because it took only 2 days for me to get back here, would he?’ Thought Lunark as she fingered her hair once again, which she had brushed with care.

Although she came with a valid reason – Adne managed to unlock one of Ignes’s files less than 24 hours ago – she could not help getting worriedly conscious of the fact that the new file’s volume was so small compared to that of the first file she had delivered. So small she was not sure if this one even deserved to be labeled a file.

Fortunately for her, she was met with another reason not to chicken out and scram from Frankenstein’s island, upon picking up someone’s presence and tracking it down.

“You...?!”

Lunark exclaimed, identifying a very familiar man sitting by a tree perfumed with mosses.

“It’s been a while, 5th Elder. I mean, Lady Lunark.”

Lunark could feel her brain burning cold as soon as she assessed 3rd Elder’s face as he stood, for she had been dying to run into him.

“Sorry for not recognizing you for a sec. You’re missing a cloak.”

“...Well, on this island I’m not an elder of the Union.”

And no need for the clarification, thanks.

Lunark uttered an inner scorn as she scanned 3rd Elder’s outfit – black long-sleeved t-shirt and white pants. He looked so plain, so ordinary, so unlike a Union’s elder who at the same time used to be the right-hand man of the apex of the Union.

“Frankenstein told me everything. If I remember correctly, from now on you’ll be regularly stopping by in order to collect his old research data, to make use for treatment and rehab of werewolves that survived from... (The 3rd Elder winced ever-so-subtly before continuing.) From Maduke’s experiments... As well as invasion initiated by me and the 1st Elder.”

Lunark curtly nodded to show approval for the excuse she and Frankenstein devised for her visit, on the day she first arrived.

“Indeed. And thanks to a certain someone, Frankenstein and I have turned quite busy. I’m sure you’d know that neither of us has a lot of free time.”

No agreement or disagreement came from the 3rd Elder. He merely let his eyes escalate downwards to his feet.

“Anyways, what are you doing here? Seems to me you were moping or something.”

“Moping, huh...? Yes, maybe I was moping.”

“Really? The 3rd Elder? Moping? But too bad. The only interpretation I can make out of your confession is that you are bluffing in order to hide what you’ve been really up to. I know what you are like. And what you’ve done.”

The 3rd raised his eyes back to Lunark’s face in response to her sneer. However, he did not unzip his lips even a bit, perhaps because he knew he was in no position to prove her words wrong.

“While I’m at it, let me make one thing clear. Since Frankenstein chose to keep you close, I will not lay my hands on you. That I can promise. But in other words, that’s the only reason why I will ever leave you in one piece in the first place. Trust me – whenever I think about what you and the 1st Elder did to my people, I must fight my own urge to rip you into shreds this instant.”

Her audience stood frozen, taking in every syllable of her disdainful speech.

“If you ever plot something against Frankenstein, play hindrance in whatever he does, or take advantage of his hospitality, I WILL make you pay. And if he ever suffers a loss or damage because of you, I swear – I will make sure from then on, you won’t get to lift anything heavier than a spoon for the rest of your life.”

As she warned the 3rd Elder, Lunark’s face was surprisingly placid, her voice toned in its normal pitch. Still, the 3rd Elder could see she was as serious as she could be, for he felt as if he were up against a wrathful wolf about to lunge for its prey’s head.

Ironically, that was exactly what inclined him to point out what he just hypothesized.

“Funny.”

“What’s funny?”

“Please don’t get me wrong – I fully understand what you are saying. It’s just that... It sounded like you were giving a personal warning as ‘a woman caring for Frankenstein,’ not as ‘a werewolf warrior representing the entire wolfkind.’”

At once, Lunark’s pink eyes shuddered as if she were hit by a bullet.

“And it appears there is something more than comradeship or generosity at the basis of your words. Do you... Do you happen to harbor feelings for him?”

“Why would you care?!”

Lunark ended up stunning herself, her retort fashioned much sharper than she had intended.

“Does he know about this?”

And just like that, he completely turned the table on her.

“I’m not sure since when you have developed feelings for him, but I’m afraid your feelings will not be reciprocated. If I dare say, there’s a good chance your heart will wait endlessly for a single touch of light, only to wither into none, just like this nameless flower that has made poor haven under the shadow of this tree.”

“Did you take liking in reading poetry during free time? Moping is one thing, and now here you are, monologuing about flowers and shadow.”

“Yes, I did frame it a bit too fancy, but I was trying to be considerate. Apparently there’s a shadow in Frankenstein’s heart. Ever since we moved into this island, he has been leading an unusually reclusive life. I assume he tends to research and data categorization on this island and accommodates himself somewhere else.”

“...Why would you ‘assume’ that’s what he does?”

“Because he leaves every night and returns next morning, and I have no knowledge of what he does during his absence. I can only assume he fulfills his basic needs outside, since each time he returns in a new attire.”

The corner of Lunark’s eyes creased slightly upon unexpected discovery.

‘I did tell him to beware of the 3rd Elder, but... This is not exactly what I had in mind.’

It did not take long for Lunark to decide that her warning had nothing to do with Frankenstein’s behaviors. After all, Frankenstein and the 3rd Elder had been occupying this island before Muzaka made her his “secret agent.”

‘But why? There’s nothing strange in his caution against his enemy-turned-ally, but why would he choose the inconvenience of lodging himself away from a safehouse that comes with a perfect housing system?’ Lunark inwardly muttered to herself, reminiscing how awestruck she was during her tour of Frankenstein’s safehouse, impeccably furnished in terms of residential aspects that she even suspected he hired an expert designer for the job.

She was momentarily impelled to acquire more information on the matter, but she aborted the idea.

For the 3rd Elder learned something that could work against her in the future, there was no guarantee that continuing the conversation would be beneficial for her.

Therefore, she steeled her voice as she tried to conceal her fluster.

“So what? Like I said, it’s none of your business whether I have a crush on him or not. And what was that about my feelings and flowers? If you have time to come up with stupid metaphors and make yourself sound like 12th Elder before having dinner, just go back to your so-called moping session!”

Lunark turned herself away as coldly as possible. She had to refrain from telling him that if Frankenstein hears a word about this, she will murder him – that would only demonstrate how strong her feelings have grown.

As she kept her back straight and walked on, something caught her eyes. The next moment, her legs stopped altogether upon perceiving she was looking at a flower species she was highly familiar with.

‘This must be wolfsbane. Its color differs from the ones on our land, but the shape it blossomed into tells me it’s definitely a species of wolfsbane.’

As beautiful as it may be, wolfsbane possesses deadly poison, hidden behind aesthetic colors and contours that have won immense popularity among flower-lovers.

Ancient humans evidently were aware of wolfsbane’s toxicity, incorporating its poison in mythology as the beloved invention of Hecate, the Greek goddess of magic and witchcraft and the guardian deity of witches, and historically employing it as a kit to hunt wolves (a fact reflected in the flower’s etymology).

Thus in a way, wolfsbane is a botanical counterpart of a siren; let the creature cast its spell, and one may be irrevocably destroyed by its true nature.

‘And I guess for me, this flower is just like him...’

Lunark sighed heavily, emitting all the air supply she had been stocking, a proof that her life these days has become a total mess thanks to a certain blonde human.

‘I still can’t believe I was actually late to my lord’s recoronation because of him.’

The day Muzaka reclaimed the throne, Lunark was supposed to be in the very front of the werewolf attendants, as a warrior of wolfkind and one of Muzaka’s right-hand servants.

Alas, she was late to the ceremony because of Frankenstein.

At the time, she planned to attend the ceremony as soon as she was done talking to Frankenstein for one last time. Or rather, to be precise, she called KSA so that she could ask the KSA staff to relay her thank-you message for all the hard work he had done.

To her shock and dismay, she was met with a news that Frankenstein was gone, and even KSA had lost communications with him.

Out of severe alarm, she instantaneously requested communication with Tao and asked him what happened to Frankenstein. Tao filled her in about the reason why Frankenstein was gone, but not even he provided her with his location and plan, which were what really mattered to her.

After wasting her time talking to more people than she had in mind, as well as trying to restitch her mind, she realized she was late.

And until next day, until Frankenstein showed himself on the communications monitor out of blue to hand over his communicative coordinates for emergency use, she was on the edge of her seat for every second, like a job seeker waiting for the result of the very last job interview of her life after failing to hear back from dozens of potential employers.

Lunark knew very well that anything concerning the werewolf lord comes in as the top priority for a werewolf warrior.

‘But back then, I couldn’t think of the coronation ceremony at all because of him. Seriously... What have you done to me, Frankenstein?’

Yet she knew what was happening to her. She knew since who-knows-when, Frankenstein had taken property of every seam and corner of her heart.

‘This flower happens to be purple like him. Or rather, purple like that cursed weapon he wields.’

Great, now I think of him even when I see the color purple, thought Lunark, as she once again confirmed she was exhibiting one of those symptoms of love.

“Hopeless... This is just hopeless.”

“What is hopeless?”

Lunark jumped like a cat that spotted a cucumber at its rear end as she turned around in a flash. Luckily, Frankenstein dodged her hair fast enough and avoided getting slapped in the face.

“W-what are you doing here?”

“Says a guest to the owner of an island.”

Frankenstein shrugged, as if he had just heard the funniest thing in the world. And a mere shrug, with the push of his smile, was more than enough to shatter Lunark’s heart once again. Which was why she suffered a delay in noticing that he was not empty-handed.

He was holding a plastic case safekeeping a pair of sanitary gloves and plastic bags for sampling, along with a dirty yet well-honed gardening utensil, which hinted her what he was here for.

“I’m sure you have no interest in pressing flowers or gardening. Are you using this flower for your experiment or something?”

“Not an experiment. It’s for a personal need,” replied Frankenstein, as he kneeled and started poking and shoving around a wolfsbane’s root in a very professional manner.

“Why would you take a wolfsbane plant for a personal need? I don’t count myself as one of those lab people, but I do know that most of flower species classified under the category of wolfsbane come with poison. Well, though I doubt that its poison will be lethal for modified humans or non-humans, even if it is ingested entirely as a raw plant.”

“Right. And some wolfsbane species are so venomous that even a minimum touch on skin can cause traumatizing and even life-threatening effect on human body. However, wolfsbane is also available for medical use. Even these days, wolfsbane is used as painkiller and, depending on the situation, cardiac stimulant in traditional Korean and Chinese medicine.”

Frankenstein answered with a tone only expected from most popular lecturers in doctorate chemistry lectures. Nevertheless, Lunark’s face darkened even before he could finish his words.

“So are you going for the former or the latter? Are you ill? So ill you must carry a painkiller or cardiac drug all the time?”

“If I were to choose, I would say it’s the latter. But not exactly. And don’t worry – I don’t have any pain or heart issue.”

Frankenstein glanced at Lunark and was left with bewilderment as a result. She was staring at him as if he were just sentenced to death.

“...No need to give me that look. Remember that I told you a wolfsbane can be used to create drugs that stimulate heart functions? I have modified and adjusted the use and processing of a cardiac stimulant to instead use this flower as a source of a nerve stimulant.”

“Meaning...?”

“It’s for keeping me awake as long as its effect lasts, without any need for sleep.”

Frankenstein was hoping to relieve her of concerns, but Lunark did not look happy at all. Her forehead furrowed deeply, now her face so dark that in other circumstances, Frankenstein would have concluded one of her kith and kin met demise.

“Are you saying you haven’t slept at all ever since you moved into this island? Just how busy can you be? Do you have to stay awake for whatever you have at hand?”

“...I’m in no situation to indulge in sleep or dreams.”

Lunark bit her lips as the fact sank that she was wrong. When she talked to the 3rd Elder, she was glad Frankenstein was seemingly getting some sleep, at the very least. But he was not.

Lunark was about to amplify her voice to shriek what on Earth he would do outside this island, before she managed to hold her tongue.

Confronting Frankenstein about his activities outside would make him curious of the source of her intelligence, which would lead to a discussion on the discussion she had with the 3rd Elder. And Lunark was not sure if she could lie about her previous conversation, let alone her feelings for him.

In addition, knowing his personality, she could swear he would not listen even if she were to be a mom for him just this once. Given up on reasoning with him, she directed his attention to a speculation that just came up.

“I remember how you drank something from your flask when I first got here. Was that a drug you made with wolfsbane flowers?”

Frankenstein’s hands paused for a second in reaction.

Frankenstein remembered what he gave her as a reply when she inquired what he was drinking; he kept his answer as vague and not-worthy-of-attention as he could. And he surely did not mention to her in what form the tonic came in. Yet here he was, marveling once again that there was a reason why Lunark was made an elder of the Union.

“Yep. That was it.”

“I didn’t think this was what you meant when you said it’s like coffee to you. And I bet you were the one who came up with the recipe to cook up that drug.”

“Of course. The other uses for wolfsbane plant include fever reducer at the most, and apart from the use of wolfsbane, it’s been centuries since human medicine last had its effect on me. And speaking of which, I must go through a revision of my cookbook. The number of wolfsbane plant on this island is decreasing as we speak, so I won’t be able to make any more effective tonic unless I modify the amount of poison to be used.”

“So you’ve been basically feeding on this flower.”

“Yes, but it’s also partially because this island was never densely populated by this flower. Now I basically have to hunt for a needle in a haystack in order to find a wholesome plant.”

“...Want me to bring them to you?”

Frankenstein stopped his hands from pulling out a wolfsbane flower to gape at her.

“Well, there is this enormous colony of wolfsbane flowers near the boundaries of our territory. And no one has ever touched it as far as I know, since we’ve never imagined using this flower for medicinal purpose. And trust me – this colony is big enough to cover the entire Pacific. The thing is, the wolfsbane in our land is probably a different species from this one, because its flower is pink. I’m not sure if you can use it for your ‘recipe,’ but I can fetch one as a sample for my next visit. What do you say?”

Frankenstein was silent. His ears did prick at her suggestion; he could actually hear Beethoven’s Symphony No. 9 echoing in his head.

‘But if I say yes... I’ll end up running into her more often.’

Opposed to the obvious outcome, he briefly tried to come up with a way to very courteously turn down her offer, with a legitimate reason that will not hurt her feelings.

But of course, he knew he had no choice. He was aware of the ill effect he will bring upon himself if he were to say no.

“It’s fine. It’s all good as long as it comes under wolfsbane category.”

“So you mean...”

“From now on, bring me three separate wolfsbane flowers, if you please. And each flower must come with complete roots as well, undamaged, and hopefully in a sample bag like this one.”

“Okay. No biggie.”

Lunark had to control her voice so she would not sound too excited for having another defensible excuse to visit Frankenstein. Fighting against her glee, she forced the corner of her lips to stay uncrooked.

Partially due to her mind-numbing elation, and partially due to the fact that Frankenstein turned away as he invited her over to the safehouse, Lunark failed to notice that the shadow on his face thickened by a very slim shade.

*****

That night, Frankenstein walked through the corridor of another island he owned. He was at a stranded island dozens of kilometers away from his lab-slash-safehouse. Unlike the aforementioned island, this island housed not a single speck of green, an unparalleled embodiment of Lunark’s description of “a sandless desert with a gigantic cement appendage jutting out of the ground, prisoned by water at all sides.”

And this is where Frankenstein had been taking care of his basic human needs. And more importantly, this is where he had been secretly endeavoring to handle a dilemma that had lately cast a new shadow upon him.

Finally arriving at the special chamber at the heart of the building, he securely fastened the door in order to face the said dilemma once again.

“Answer to my call... Dark Spear.”

(next chapter)

Aaaaand here it is - the flower from which I came up with the title of this fanfic.

I didn’t plan on naming this fanfic Wolfsbane since the beginning. During the brainstorming stage, I landed upon some details about wolfsbane by pure accident, and as I read about this plant, I came to think this is exactly what represents the relationship of Frankie and Lunark and the progress they will make in this fic (and it’s related to wolf lol). The line in this chapter that says “let the creature cast its spell, and one may be irrevocably destroyed by its true nature” is what I had in mind as I sketched this fanfic.

By the way, there are two things about this chapter that isn’t canon in real life: (1) the fact that wolfsbane is used as a nerve stimulant and (2) the pink wolfsbane that can be found in nature. It is true that in traditional Korean and Chinese medicine, wolfsbane can be used as cardiac stimulant or painkiller. But in reality it is not used as a nerve stimulant; that part is my creation. In addition, pink wolfsbane does exist, but only as human-cultivated species; pink wolfsbane does not naturally occur. So for this fic, I created a wolfsbane species of my own (the purple wolfsbane that you would commonly see upon googling is Aconitum jaluense. The pink wolfsbane species that is introduced in this fic is Aconitum crescentonum). Hope that clarifies!

#fanfic #korean webcomic #korean webtoon #noblesse #frankenstein #lunark #frankensteinxlunark #wolfsbane

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redemptiionss · 6 years

Text

TDP’s portrayal of Deafness & Deaf Culture through Amaya: PART ONE

So.. yesterday was the last day of Deaf Awareness Week lol. I’ve been working on this & part 2 and was planning on posting it yesterday, but obviously that didn’t work out as I didn’t finish them on time.

I know I said in my previous posts that this one would be about lipreading, but I decided that I would also talk about Deaf culture & TDP’s portrayal of Amaya. This post will be split into two parts: the first part will be about the authenticity of her portrayal, and the second part will be about how it is imperfect.

First. The portrayal of Amaya’s character & her deafness, while imperfect, is honestly incredibly refreshing to see compared to other portrayals in media. The entertainment media often will “cut corners” when it comes to portraying deaf people. They portray them as being able to hear some, speak some, & lipread as their primary mode of communication. This results in very little use of ASL, because it’s easier that way. Ta da! Less effort needed. Essentially, dDeaf people who are able to lipread/speak/hear some, are more likely to appear on television than Deaf people who cannot hear or speak & rely on ASL.

So yes, while TDP’s portrayal is imperfect, Amaya’s character is very refreshing to see. They actually put in effort to make Amaya appear as authentic as possible. For once, I’m seeing a Deaf character on television who doesn’t speak, can’t hear, & uses ASL as her primary mode of communication. Like me!! I really, really didn’t expect that, & least of all for her to use ASL. So yeah I’m stoked about her.

Now, it’s important to know that the Deaf community is diverse. Not all dDeaf/HoH people are the same! Some dDeaf people are profoundly deaf, like me, then others may have some hearing that varies on differing levels. Some are raised in oral education, others mainstream (public schools), or in deaf schools. Many are born to hearing families, others to strong intergenerational Deaf families (these Deaf people usually are very VERY strong, culturally & ASL-wise). Not all people with hearing loss are involved in the Deaf community/culture/world.

I don’t want it to seem like I’m ignoring or excluding all the dDeaf/HoH people involved with the Deaf culture/community; who may be here on Tumblr & fit those descriptions lol.

To me, Amaya comes across as someone who is culturally Deaf. She practically screams, I’M DEAF AND PROUD. She isn’t some character that they just halfheartedly slapped the “deaf” label on for bonus points. This is great, as it shows that they really did their research & listened to the Deaf people they consulted. Honestly, they & the ASL interpreters deserve all of our thank-yous.

Oh, and I posted a translation of Amaya’s signing a while back as well btw.. COUGH COUGH. Lol.

The Good Parts:

Pretty accurate usage & portrayal of ASL syntax.

This shows their understanding that:

ASL is not just “English in sign”, or a “translation” of English. It is its own legitimate language: completely different with its own grammar structure, morphology, phonology (known as the 5 parameters), etc.

Examples of ASL syntax, courtesy of Amaya:

“BREAKFAST MOST IMPORTANT MEAL DAY.”

“FOOD HERE IS... *bangs stale bread on counter* HARD LIKE STEEL.” {weapons-grade}

[Rayla’s interrogation]

“YOU TWO? *gesture* MANY THERE YOU ARE?”

“LIE YOU” *points at Rayla*

[Escape scene]

“CALLUM, EZRAN, COME” *points at the space next to her*

“OKAY, YOU. I KILL MONSTERS BEFORE.”

“IF ELF KNOW WE FOLLOW THEM, KILL BOYS. NEED CAREFUL.” *points in their direction*

[Memorial/Grave scene]

“HELLO BIG SISTER. YOU MY HERO. PERFECT, STRONG, ENDURING, HEART-SOFT {compassionate/gentle}, AND REALLY SORRY BIG SISTER. I FAIL YOU. I SONS SAFE WITH BUT GONE/MISSING.”

Note: ASL grammar does not use BE verbs (am, is, are, was, were) or articles ( (a, an, the), & it does not use tenses like English does either. Word order is different from English as well. More info on ASL grammar here if anyone is interested.

How to get a Deaf person’s attention.

Hint: you don’t yell. The best (and polite) way to get a Deaf person’s attention is to gently tap them on the shoulder.

We’ve only seen one scene of this so far, where Callum and Ezran is behind Amaya as she walks into the lodge. Because Amaya is deaf, with little to no hearing it seems, obviously Callum can’t just call her name to get her attention. So what does he do? He goes up and knocks on the shield Amaya is wearing on her back, and Amaya feels the vibrations and reacts immediately by turning around. This was a very tiny, quick scene, but I liked seeing that. :)

The job of the interpreter. (Psst. The correct terminology is INTERPRETER, not translator. Interpreters translate languages orally & in this case, into ASL. Translators deal with written text. This is just a peeve of mine since I am seeing many people refer to Gren as a “translator”.)

Contrary to [apparently????] popular belief, interpreters are not necessarily “stoic”, monotonous, etc. (I read that they were originally going to make him into comic relief.. I’m really glad that they didn’t.) Gren’s profession is a sign language interpreter. It is his job to interpret what Amaya is saying (and his job should be ALSO to interpret FOR Amaya at all times tbh... but I’ll get to that later in Part 2).

While it is the interpreter’s job to voice for Deaf people, this also means that they shouldn’t merely just say the words but to emote vocally as well, otherwise it’d appear that the interpreter & the Deaf person have no personality. It is their responsibility to deliver the appropriate emotion & tone that best fits what/how the Deaf person is conveying through ASL. So yeah, that is literally Gren’s job.

It is also his job to interpret what other people are saying, for Amaya’s benefit. Which is why I thought that the scene when Gren immediately jumps in to interpret for Amaya when she had her back turned towards Viren was an excellent demonstration of appropriate interpreting ethics. I would honestly like to see more of that in TDP, as that is the only scene we’ve gotten of Gren interpreting for Amaya.

Name Signs.

They are not nicknames. They are personal names, unique to each person who is a member of the Deaf community. This is an important & traditional aspect of Deaf culture. One isn’t just born with a name sign, of course-- it is assigned to them. It is a part of the Deaf cultural identity.

ANYONE can become a part of the Deaf community, including hearing people. However, hearing people/non-native signers should not pick or invent a name sign for themselves, as that is something reserved for a Deaf person to do. And in Deaf culture, it would be considered improper as well. Essentially, a culturally Deaf person assigns a name sign to a new non-native member of the community. It is considered a gift, something that is given to someone else and could be seen as a way of welcoming them into the community. The reason why it is like this, is because the creation of name signs actually has rules. << A link to an article/video that explains this, if anyone is interested lol.

However, not everyone has a name sign. Some may even choose not to have one-- meaning that their names would be fingerspelled, especially for those with names that have less than four letters.

There are two types of name signs: initialized/arbitrary & descriptive.

Initialized name signs use the first letter of your name from the manual alphabet. Descriptive name signs use classifier handshapes. Both may also be based on the receipent’s physical characteristics (this however, is more common in descriptive name signs. Initialized name signs usually doesn’t really have a meaning).

In TDP, it is shown that some characters have name signs (initialized), likely gifted by Amaya herself. Examples:

Callum: Initialized, in the handshape of a “C” & location is on the forehead towards the side. [In Amaya’s introductory scene, his name was initially fingerspelled & now I think it was done as to emphasize Amaya’s bewilderment at Callum’s yelling.]

Ezran: Initialized, hand in the handshape of a “E” & location is on the side of the chin.

Corvus: Initialized, in the handshape of a “C” and tapped once on the head near the forehead.

Viren: Initialized, in the handshape of a “V” and tapped on the forehead near the brow.

We’re seeing a trend here huh, lol. They showed the sign names so fast, I had to rewatch the scenes several times to make sure I got them. No sign name for Gren yet... but then, his name is only four letters.

Facial expressions and mouth movements.

In Deaf culture & when using ASL, facial expression is a must. The expressions one makes when signing will affect the meaning of that sign. It is also a part of ASL phonology, also known as the Five Parameters of ASL. Within the 5 parameters, facial expressions are known as non-manual markers.

I personally thought that for this type of animation, they did a decent job with Amaya’s facial expressions and using that to further convey her intended message through ASL.

(For example, when she says “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day”, that was a comedic moment but you could see that she was serious, due to her facial expression and body language. And then when she said “Don’t worry, I’ve slain monsters before”? Her facial expression as she signs “I’ve slain monsters before”... that was superb & chilling imo!)

As for mouth movements.. she moves her mouth of course, accordingly with her facial expressions. But she doesn’t mouth out the words as she signs. Many Deaf people DO mouth words [occasionally, sometimes, or frequently] as they sign-- I am guilty of this actually. But not all of them do... I know that her not speaking & this has likely confused many people into thinking that she’s mute, but this is in fact common for many culturally Deaf people (aka those who were born & raised in intergenerational Deaf families and thus are extremely strong in their identity, language, and culture). So I thought it was absolutely excellent that she didn’t mouth words at all. I’m aware it was probably also because it was easier on the creators lol.

PART TWO

[This one has the section on lipreading btw lol]

#txt #amaya #general amaya #aunt amaya #tdp #the dragon prince #amaya tdp #deaf #deaf culture #gren #commander gren #gren tdp #tdp spoilers

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atariaction · 5 years

Text

Lander: BASIC Tenliners Contest 2019 entry

Use the joystick controller to land your LEM (lunar excursion module) on a moon. Land on one of the green landing pads. The trigger fires the main thrusters, pushing the ship upward against the moon’s gravity. Left/right stick movement fires the side thrusters for horizontal movement.

A control panel shows your vertical speed (indicated by ↓), horizontal speed (→), strength of gravity on the moon (G), and amount of fuel (F). To land safely, you must touch down on a landing area with a vertical speed of 10 or less, and horizontal speed of 5 or less. Flying off the sides or the top of the screen is deadly. Running out of fuel is not recommended.

Each moon is a little different, with gravity ranging from light (G5 in the control panel) to heavy (G20.) Moons usually have one or two landing pads. (Rarely, you will come across a moon that has none! In this case you will die. I’m sorry. Space exploration is dangerous.)

The first Lunar Lander that I was exposed to was Atari’s vector arcade version, which seemed amazing — and impossibly difficult. Later, my dad bought the Adventure International version of Lunar Lander for his Atari 800. (It was one of the few pieces of Atari software that he didn’t pirate.) In that version, the LEM doesn’t rotate. Instead, side thrusters push the ship horizontally while it remains in a vertical position. I did the same in my version.

(That’s where I learned the word “hybrid.” The stats on the back of the box said “Language: Hybrid.” I wondered if that was some programming language I hasn’t heard of; dad explained that the word meant “a combination of two things.” In this case, BASIC and assembly language.)

Benj Edwards wrote a great history of Lunar Lander games that is worth reading.

I’ve wanted to program a Lunar Lander-type game since I was a teen. I’m pretty sure I tried it using shape tables on my Apple IIc in AppleSoft BASIC, and experimented with it in Atari BASIC at some point, but I never could get the movement with respect to thrust and gravity right. I didn’t have the math concepts. But in the past few weeks, with my buddy helping with the math for Bouncy; and reading Bruce Artwick’s book Microcomputer Displays, Graphics and Animation, I now know jussssst enough math to be dangerous with Atari graphics. So I was finally able to create a version of Lunar Lander, and in 10 lines of Turbo-BASIC XL.

For the contest, my program fits in the 120-characters-per-line category. In terms of cramming stuff into 10 lines, it’s some of my best work and I learned a lot. Several times I thought the program has to be done, there was absolutely no more room to squeeze in another feature. Then I’d find a way to do something in fewer bytes, making room for a tiny improvement elsewhere.

My favorite was replacing for-next loops to move or generate data with the MOVE statement, with copies memory around RAM. For instance, I needed to zero out Player (sprite) data. Normally I’d do that with FOR I=P+512 TO P+896:POKE I,0:NEXT I. But — MOVE DPEEK(88),P+512,384 does the same thing with fewer bytes (and much faster.) But I needed to copy from an area of RAM that is all zeros. Where would I find such a place? A newly blank screen is filled with zeros. At another point, I needed a mess of random-looking data for the ship explosion. I started with a FOR-NEXT loop writing RANDom numbers, but ended up moving random bits of data from the Atari ROM into sprite memory. Again, it was much faster and took of less precious program space. I’m not implying at all that I invented this technique, but I figured it out on my own and it was satisfying.

Here’s the commented code:

'LANDER by Kevin Savetz 'March 22 2019 GRAPHICS 23:'GR. 7, no text window. 159x92 'normally y=95 for full GR.7 screen, we lose a little because text line at top DIM F0$(16),F1$(10) F0$="\00\00\00\00\3C\42\42\3C\42\7E\5A\81":'LEM graphic with blank spaces around 'to make erasing old LEM easy as it moves vertically 'F1$ is workspace for the P1 thrust flame FUEL=150:'starting fuel A=PEEK(106)-20:'set aside RAM for players POKE 54279,A:'PMBASE P=A*256:'top of P/M memory POKE 559,46:'Double line resolution P/M characters VX=-5+RAND(11):'Initial X speed POKE 53277,2:'turn on players (not missiles) M=DPEEK(88):'top of screen RAM MOVE M,P+512,384:'zero Player data, copying 0s from the fresh blank screen POKE 704,88:'PCOLR0. I like purple. 'custom display list D=DPEEK(741):'location of display list POKE D+4,66:'top line is Graphics 0 text line (mode 2) -MOVE D+102,D+99,3:'shorten the display list so screen's not too tall POKE 752,1:'hide cursor 'draw terrain & stars/ground texture COLOR 1 PLOT 0,90-RAND(60):'start drawing terrain on left edge LPP=1:'first segment can't be landing pad FOR I=10 TO 150 STEP 10 Z=M+40+RAND(3500):'pick a location for star/ground texture POKE Z,PEEK(Z)!3:'draw it IF (LPP OR (RAND(5) OR LP=2)):'draw craggy rock if we just drew a landing pad 'or if we've already drawn 2. Otherwise, maybe draw a pad II=RAND(40)+52:'rock height COLOR 1:'color of rock LPP=0:'remember that last thing drawn isn't a pad ELSE COLOR 2:'color of pads LP=LP+1:'count number of landing pads LPP=1:'remember last thing drawn is a pad ENDIF DRAWTO I,II:'draw the rock/pad NEXT I COLOR 1 DRAWTO 159,60 PAINT 159,92 DT=.05:'Time increment. Lower numbers make the game slower X=50+RAND(125):'Initial X Y=520:'Initial Y G=RAND(15)+5:'Strength of gravity VY=1+RAND(10):'Initital Y speed DO:'main loop POKE 53278,0:'Clear PM collisions X=X+VX*DT:'change LEM's X POKE P+Y+264,0:'clear side thrust Y=Y+VY*DT:'change LEM's Y VY=VY+G*DT:'new Y speed POKE 53248,X:'HPOSP0 position LEM at new X MOVE ADR(F0$),P+Y,16:'draw LEM at new vertical position 'clean up from last move... -MOVE M,P+Y+136,12:'copy 0s from top corner of screen to erase flame (if any) SOUND:'stop thrust sound if any 'thrust. Player 1 is the bottom thrust flame IF FUEL AND STRIG(0)=0:'if trigger and have fuel VY=VY-2:'decrease vertical speed MOVE ADR(F1$),P+Y+136,10:'place flame 8 lines below P0 SOUND 0,50+Y,8,8:'I KNOW, there's no sound in space POKE 53249,X:'P1 X position POKE 705,50+RAND(11):'flame color FOR Z=3 TO 8 POKE ADR(F1$)+Z,RAND(16)*4:'rows of random flame, but only 4 bytes 'in the middle so it isn't too wide 00111100 NEXT Z FUEL=FUEL-1:'reduce fuel ELSE:'if no trigger, check for left/right thrust. Player 2 is the side thrust flame S=STICK(0) Z=(S=7)-(S=11):'get joystick left-right status IF Z AND FUEL AND NOT FIRE:'if joystick and have fuel and LEM isn't thrusting up POKE P+Y+264,3:'put P2 flame at correct vertical position relative to LEM POKE 53250,X-3+(4*Z):'side flame on left or right of LEM POKE 706,50+RAND(11):'P2 color VX=VX-Z:'change X speed SOUND 0,50,8,8:'noise FUEL=FUEL-1 ENDIF ENDIF POKE 87,0:'get ready to print in text window 'If LEM goes off screen or hits terrain or hits landing pad too fast IF X<40 OR X>205 OR Y<510 OR PEEK(53252)&1 OR (PEEK(53252)&2 AND (VY>10 OR ABS(VX)>5)) FOR Z=1 TO 250:'explosion SOUND 0,50+RAND(30),6,8:'in space no one can hear you scream MOVE 59740+RAND(500),P+Y+4,12:'copy random data from ROM to P1 POKE 704,50+RAND(21):'P1 color NEXT Z RUN:'restart ENDIF 'show speed, gravity, and fuel POS. 14,0:?"\1B\1D";INT(VY);" \1B\1F";INT(VX); ?" \C7";G;" \C6";FUEL;" " IF(PEEK(53252)&2):'touched landing pad, make happy music & restart SOUND 0,121,10,10:PAUSE 80 SOUND 1,81,10,10:PAUSE 80 SOUND 2,60,10,10:PAUSE 150 RUN ENDIF LOOP

#atari #lunar lander #TurboBASIC XL #BASIC

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kingsofeverything · 5 years

Text

11/11/11

@chloehl10 @ham-palpert @reminiscingintherain @realitybetterthanfiction and @laynefaire tagged me in this. Thanks y’all! I’m sorry I’m such a slack ass and it’s been weeeeeeks since I drafted this half finished, soooooooooo....

I’m going to combine and put everything under a cut.

The first 11 are from @chloehl10

1. What’s your favourite fic you’ve ever written, and why?

Don’t Want Shelter because it’s the first fic I put emotional effort into. That universe, that Harry and Louis, all of it are very vivid and alive in my head. I love them.

2. Pick three words that you think describe your works overall.

Long ass sentences 👀

3. How long does it take you to write a fic?

Depends. Writing doesn’t usually take me long but editing does.

4. What’s the hardest thing about writing?

Realizing that I’m probably never going to write some of the ideas I have

5. Do you listen to music or anything while you write? What’s normal for you when you write?

I don’t usually, but sometimes. Idk that I have a normal. I really prefer to be alone and quiet.

6. How do you come up with titles for your fics?

Songs usually. Sometimes they just come to me though.

7. What’s one piece of advice you’d give to a new writer?

Get a beta. But not just a beta. Get someone who can talk fic/plot/story with you as well.

8. How important do you think tags are when you are publishing a fic?

Very in some ways, no at all in others. I tag mainly for readers so they know enough about the fic to decide whether or not to read. I don’t tag specific sex stuff usually though every now and then I’ll throw in ‘anal fingering’ just to mix it up. I don’t tag who tops/bottoms. I do tag with fic reccers in mind thanks to B’s @nottooldforthisship instructions!

9. Do you write for fests/exchanges? If so, do you enjoy them? If not, why not?!

I have and I do but not often. I like running them and I have done exchanges in the past but it’s not really my thing to write for them. Is that weird? I feel like it is but ehhh

10. Which work of yours are you most proud of and why?

An Unbalanced Force aka marold harold because.... idk

11. What’s next for you?

Currently working on a short pwp hiccup fic

These 11 are from @ham-palpert

1. Have you ever been burned by a WIP that never updated? If so, describe that traumatic experience.

I have not! But more in a ehhhh I’m not too bothered way. I’ve definitely read WIPs that weren’t completed but idk I guess I love on quickly lol

2. Speaking of WIPs, do you like writing (or reading) them? Why or why not?

I don’t write them. As in even my fics that have been posted as WIPs (DWS and HFL) we’re completely finished aside from some editing before I started posting. I change too much when I write. That padlock in TSHU? Thought of it at the end and went back to add it to the beginning.

I will sometimes read a WIP but not often. Mainly because I don’t remember anything between updates

3. Are you a dialogue person? An inner-monologue person? A heavily descriptive scene-setter?

I think I’m gonna pass? I literally have no idea. I don’t think I heavily describe scenes but I guess that depends on the scene? This is when I send for help and ask Nic

4. Is there a scene from a fic you’ve read that you wished you’d written/thought of first?

Not really

5. Would you rather read a 150k angsty fic, or a 10k fluffy one-shot?

10k one shot

6. Do you enjoy writing smut scenes? Does it make you feel super awkward? Do you need to have a cigarette afterwards?

Sometimes smut scenes are fun to write. Especially if there’s something different about it. Sometimes I have to be in the mood. Sometimes I feel like I need to shower after lolll

7. Do you click through the recently updated list on AO3 or read exclusively fic recs? Or a bit of both?

Neither. I don’t read nearly as much as I used to. I’m nowhere near caught up on Big Bang.

8. How many words, on average, do you write a week? Do you try to stick to writing goals?

Oh wow. Idk! I could actually figure it out since I track my words per day. When I’m steadily writing, I’d say 10k a week is average? Probably more tbh

9. Are you someone who comments on the fics you read (and liked)?

Yes

10. Of all the fics you’ve written, which one came to you the easiest?

marold harold I think

11. If you had to live in one of the AUs you created, which one would it be?

Marold harold and I’d be Kate McKinnon

these 11 are from @reminiscingintherain

1. Has your writing changed now from the way it was when you started? If so, how?

yeah definitely. more plot heavy and just better overall

2. Does anyone IRL know about your writing? If so, have they read it?

yes, but no one’s read any of it. i almost sent tshu to my therapist lol

3. Is there anything you’ve written that you wish you hadn’t?

4. Do you have a set location or setting that you have to write in? A favourite cafe? The only seat that’s comfortable?

no, i will write literally anywhere. on my phone or laptop. i like writing on my back porch when it’s not a million degrees outside

5. What are you working on? If you can (i.e., it’s not on anon!), share five lines!

5 lines from the hiccup fic:

When he opens his mouth to answer, Louis hiccups and flattens his hand against his chest, shaking his head. He points to his mouth, hiccups again, then again, snaps his mouth shut and pushes past Harry, who turns and follows him out of the club to the relative quiet of the street.

“You can stay, Harry.” Louis shoves his hands in the pockets of his faded jeans and turns to glance at Harry, who’s walking beside him. He hiccups and groans, kicking his foot out and stomping. “Fuck me, man. This sucks.”

6. Have you ever written something for a fic, but ended up removing a whole scene in its entirety and using it for something else?

i think so but tbh i can’t remember lol

7. Are you a linear writer? Or can you write scenes out of order and put them together at the end?

i’m a linear writer, but i will skip over parts of a scene like....... i’ll write a bunch of dialogue with nothing around it and fill in later

8. Betas/Britpickers… opinions?

always always always. i would literally not write if i couldn’t have a beta lol

9. How much do/can you write on average at any given time?

huh idk. i’m a fast writer, but i’d say like probably 1.5k a day is average for me?

10. How organised are you? Do you have lists and/or spreadsheets, or do you just wing it?

i’m the worst lol i tried to organize my google docs and that lasted like a week

11. What made you start writing?

i was bored and i thought hmmmm wonder if i could write a fic. turns out i could!

alrighty these 11 are from layne :D

1. What is your favorite trope to write? To read?

EXES/ENEMIES TO LOVERS

2. What other fandoms do you write in/have you written in?

not a one

3. What’s one fic idea you want to read, but would never write?

i honestly don’t know because i write what i want to read

4. When do you do most of your writing - morning, afternoon, night? Which time of day do you find most productive?

i think i’m most productive in the morning, but i write when i find the time

5. Writing routine? What do you drink? Do you have a go to snack?

i don’t have a routine. i usually drink water or coffee, but occasionally vodka, wine, or beer. i don’t snack while i write but now i want to

6. Have you ever been writing something and had to get up and walk away from it? What was it and why did you have to step away?

i had to walk away from tshu because it was stressing me out that i couldn’t invent time travel irl so i wrote heading for limbo for a few weeks and went back to it lol

7. What is your most favorite scene you’ve ever written?

oooooooooooooooooooooh oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh this is such a good question and i hate it lol i absolutely HATE picking favorites of anything but i’ll say that the scene from tshu when louis shows zayn his tattoo and everything right before and after that

8. Have you ever had an ending to a story, but couldn’t figure out how to start it? I don’t mean the typical -And they lived happily ever after - but a fully fleshed out ending with your usual writing pair, but you had no idea where to start? Did you ever write it?

nooooooope

9. What is the oddest thing you’ve ever drawn inspiration from?

idk i think being stuck in a hurricane with no power turning into don’t want shelter was pretty odd

10. You’ve accepted a prompt to write a fic using a Whitesnake song for the title. Which song do you choose, and what is your fic’s summary?

here i go again - 70s trucker au (i’m not summarizing because i’m actually planning to write this one, though the title with be different. probably.)

11. Your most recent fic is being made into a movie. What would you change your main characters’ names to and who would you fancast to play them?

ok so i’m cheating here by picking tshu instead of my most recent fic because my most recent fic is canon pwp lol and i’m sorry but i’m so lame with actors and stuff idk anyone who’d play them. and idk about names either! SORRY LAYNE

last but not least!

these 11 are from @realitybetterthanfiction

1. What made you realize you wanted to start writing fan fiction?

we were hanging at my parents’ house during a hurricane when they had power and we didn’t, and i was bored af and i think nic had just recently published her first fic and i was like....... huh i wonder if i can do that?

2. What fic changed you as a reader or a writer?

nic’s 5 times fic called fire and ice! i remember reading it and thinking WOOHOO PWP!!!! and then crying because she snuck all these FEELINGS in. so it made me think about writing in a different way, i guess. it can be fun and emo lol

3. What is your best writer’s block buster?

idk. haven’t really tried anything.

4. What’s the last non fan fiction book you’ve read?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh a book about physics and space science (fic research lmaoooooooooooooooo)

5. If you had or have skills like our talented artists in the fandom, what’s one scene you would like to illustrate? (Can be your own work or another’s work)

THE JUGGLING SCENE FROM STRANDED IN A DREAM

6. What’s the best piece of writing advice you’ve ever gotten?

just keep writing! you can edit later!

7. What’s one genre you’re hesitant to write but really want to explore?

idk i don’t think i have one? maybe aliens?

8. Would you ever cowrite with someone else? And if you have, how to you divide the work?

nic and i are trying BUT IT’S HARD AND WE DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE DOING

9. Do friends outside the fandom know you write? Are they supportive? (I hope they are!!!)

no but my husband does and is

10. What is your favorite fic Niall? (give me all the Niall!)

niall and his churros!!!!!

11. What is your favorite supernatural category (examples, vampires, ABO, werewolves, angels, aliens). And can you give a girl some recs?

vampires!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i don’t have any recs because my faves are old and everyone knows them: madalynn_bohemia’s vampire series

#11/11/11 #11 questions #i didn't make any questions or tag anyone

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eri-223 · 6 years

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Star Wars Legends: Idiot’s Array

In honor of today’s movie, here’s the “Han Solo is Force sensitive” story I wrote ten years ago. I kept thinking of it because of the sabacc theme and because the end still works remarkably well with the new canon. So, with a few tweaks, this is the same post you might find on FFN! 2,600 words, gen.

Roulette wheels spin. Hands with dirt under the scales on their sides drop chance cubes and watch them bounce. Sabacc cards shush against one another. The players covet their hands, tallying up the numbers. But at any moment the values could shift, snatching victory from some, delivering it into the hands of others, becoming all possible numbers and suits for one immeasurable moment….

1. Chance

It started with wishes, as so many stories do. Surely every child wishes at some time in their life to be a Jedi, and tries to move something from across the room to their hand with only their mind. But young Han Solo, crewmate on the Trader's Luck, did not have the luxury of far-fetched dreams, of stillnesses in which to squint and test imaginary powers. His dreams were ferrocrete, not clouds: he longed for a successful business, for safety from older, nastier space pirates such as Captain Shrike, and often enough he got those things through his own abilities at dodging—or ending--trouble. He had an abiding faith in persistence.

2. Hazard

The Empire occasionally sent out warnings, lists of danger signs. Beware of men who speak cryptically, of children who float in their sleep, of even one-credit roadside fortune tellers, of laser swords. Ostensibly, these mandates were to protect the galaxy's citizens from Force-users, those dangerous individuals who had been granted more power than good human judgment (not to mention the unstable and primitive minds of aliens) could handle. Han paid little attention to them, involved as he was in his own matters of business. The Corellian tradition of Jedi were as far from his thoughts as the Coruscanti one was.

3. Legate

Many years later, after the dream of escaping the Luck had been realized and all more far-fetched ones had been forgotten, Han slouched in the dimness of the Mos Eisley Cantina and looked at Ben Kenobi. Part of him did not trust the man; he was a raggedy exile, maybe even a slave trader. One did not simply give people like that a ride, no matter what they were paying, and expect to have a peaceful journey.

But another part of him had a gut feeling that he was meant to do this. That he ought find out everything he could about the old man and the boy, because—he didn't know, maybe they had known him once or something. That's what it felt like—déjà vu.

He compromised by acting noncommittal and allowing them a ride.

4. The Star

When Han saw Luke Skywalker practice with the lightsaber in the Millennium Falcon's hold, he was skeptical of whether the Force was simply an invention of old Kenobi's mind or not. While it certainly sounded difficult to deflect something traveling at the speed of light with something else made of a sort of light, it was no more improbable than a human dodging blasterbolts, which he had done, inadvertently or purposefully, enough times.

5. Moderation

"I've never seen anything to make me believe that there's one all-powerful force that controls my destiny..."

Not control, no, but sense—Han could identify Kenobi's location as surely as if a tracking screen were in front of Han's eyes….as surely as he had, so many times, picked enemy spacecraft out of the sky with the forward lasers before the tracking screen had warmed up.

"…In my experience, there's no such thing as luck."

If there wasn't, what had Han lived on for so many years?

6. Demise

Kenobi never got to tell him directly, but when the old man died, Han distinctly heard his voice say, "Carry on."

7. The Wheel

The stars spun around him as the Falcon plummeted toward the Death Star. The battle flared between surprisingly few starships; the Empire had known it didn’t have to release the fleet to take out the handful of Rebel squadrons. But somehow, without lights cluttering his tac screen, this fight felt even more confusing than usual, even harder to keep straight in his head. Because he wasn't sure whether he was doing the right thing, whether following Luke into this suicide mission would be worth it or not (it was worth getting Chewie to stop looking mournful), whether his life was going to change for the better or not (or whether that mattered any more if the Rebels didn’t survive).

And it was not only inside his mind that chaos was building. He felt the tension of battle, and he had felt it before, but back then he was in the Imperial academy and other TIE pilots were shouting through the comm even if they weren't supposed to, jokes and orders and death-screams. This was silent except for in his head, like he was going mad, but he knew he wasn't. Because they said that madmen think they're sane, and he knew he wasn’t. He's wild with the Force, wild with uncertainty, but also driven by I have to rescue them (replace 'them' with Luke, Leia, the Rebels, or 'my future' ).

So he whooped like a madman and, pointed by the Force to the tiny trench on the side of the Death-Star-become-horizon, came to the rescue.

8. Balance

First, he had to decide whether he was going to tell anyone.

The days went by and he tried, tried to confront Chewbacca’s steady gaze, or Luke's innocent eyes or Leia's sharp ones (sharp as daggers, he can't look at her too long or his mind will feel like it's falling away from the world, but if he endures, then everything is all right, because what replaces his mind is happinesshurtwonderment). But he did not know how to begin.

Finally he decided: following, he supposed, his master's lead, he didn't tell anyone anything about the power he suspected he had.

He would not speak of it, would not pursue the power, because, also, then the line between himself and Luke would blur. They were two separate pillars of the Alliance, the noble and naïve, and the gritty and skeptical. Everyone expected the two to be foils to one another. They only needed one Jedi.

9. Endurance

"Deck officer! Deck officer. Has Commander Skywalker reported in yet?"

"Sorry sir, I don't think he's come back from patrol."

Luke's presence—the terminology had snuck in to Han's thoughts, although he'd tried to drown it in memorizing tactics and spacelanes, in thought of Leia, in the occasional drink because the Force was too complicated—glowed dimly in the back of his mind.

He could follow it like a beacon, and so he did, out into the cold, out into Luke is unconscious—I've got an excuse for why I don't just tell him now.

10. Queen Of Air And Darkness

The Force was not a willing tool of Han's will; in fact it seemed to have a capricious and cruel will of its own in terms of when it allowed Han certain powers or when it worked for him at all. When Leia kissed Luke, Han could not with certainty tell whether or not she was doing it just to make him jealous (even if she didn't know that was why she was doing it), but he was pretty sure.

But Han could not hate Luke. (Consider him naïve and young, yes, but never hate.) They were too together in the dangerous gaze of the eye of the Empire, too bound by shared death-defying experience. Luke seemed oblivious to Han's growing acceptance of whatever modicum of the Force was within him, but Vader, Han knew, especially as he became more and more integrated into the Rebellion, would not be, and even Leia's weight against his as they struggled in the passageway to escape from Hoth could not dissuade the feeling of being watched, even if it was by only one black-lensed eye.

11. The Evil One

No power helped him when, in Cloud City, Darth Vader finally stopped to take notice of Han. His chest was raked with claws of electricity as he screamed and waited for them to ask about the one they kept referring to dispassionately, harshly, as Skywalker.

But Vader's eyes had not been closed on Hoth; he had another target as well.

No questions were asked. Pain simply opened the door to Han's mind, and Vader swept in.

Minds are not as simple as datapads, but Han could tell that he was being read like files, like simple charts and graphs, and could stop being read no more than those objects could.

Vader found Han's power and read it like entrails.

The pain faded away slowly. Vader's booming laugh rose out of the haze the pain produced, like a monster out of the sea, before allowing Han's other senses to recover.

"The Force persists," Vader said, triumphantly as if he had known all along and was only now savoring the revelation. The laugh bit at the edges of his words as if all along he had been holding it in.

"Mopek," Han cursed. He raged at the Force, although his body was immobile. If it had dropped him into this nest of pain and abandonment, then by the Nine Gates of Corellian Hell, he'd abandon it—"I don't know anything about it."

"No," Vader rumbled, "you do not. It is latent in you." He turned away. Luke could have taught me, Han thought. I could undo my bonds right now—but he would not wish that that had happened. It was anathema to his nature, to his old, injurious, oh-so-safe desire to trust only himself.

Vader turned again and Han felt one more layer of pain spear into his arm; dimly he saw a syringe withdraw, filled with his blood.

"You are lucky, Solo," Vader breathed, "that the bounty hunter wants you alive, and that you are too weak in the Force to matter to my Master."

The torture continued, and deep in a quiet, locked space of Han's mind he saw that this was all so that Luke would do what Han had done on Hoth; track him through the Force and rescue him from being caught in a snow storm against which he could only create a temporary shelter.

When stormtroopers took Han back to the detainment cell, he could only collapse into Leia's arms. The desire for secrecy wrestled with the overflow of his thoughts. He compromised and did not lie. "They didn't even ask me any questions."

12. The Universe

That's enough of this Force mopek. I don't want it. It doesn't fit me, it's a burden, it complicates an already kriffing complicated life. People have been killed in this war, and it hasn't helped me save one of them. Han fought with his thoughts and threw them away, as he crouched under cover of tall, leafy plants on Endor. His squad arrayed around him triple-checked their blasters, oblivious to his frustrations.

But he could not stop himself from being concerned about others. (That thought immediately brought him to the thought of her, because Luke didn't need a rival, and Leia didn't need another man in her life who was likely to be killed in the service of an invisible master.) The thoughts and power that Han rejected picked up a stormtrooper crouching behind a nearby plant, trying to pick off the Rebel squad, and slammed him into the trunk of a rotten tree that shattered, like Han's expectations, into one thousand tiny pieces.

13. The Idiot

Leia said, laughing behind her words (like Vader had--), "He's my brother."

Han wanted the astounded, perfect kiss to last forever, to remain uncomplicated, but digging into his heart was his secret. It prevented her from nesting alone in his thoughts, as if the Force were a mistress. So quietly he said, unable to meet her eyes, "Leia. I think I'm Force-sensitive."

She touched his chin to turn his face toward her, but would not meet his eyes either; she looked weary and sad, as if she had aged the light-years Luke had between Bespin and Tatooine. "I have it too," she said. "The Force is strong in my family."

And so Han decided at that moment to learn, to explore this power, so that he might know Leia better.

14. The Satellite

The moon of Endor, which had no name except the one which the Ewoks gave it that simply meant 'forest/universe', rang with the sounds of celebration. Dancing shapes whirled past the firelight. But Luke was staring into the trees, cold to the communal warmth, and Han and Leia moved toward him to try to draw him back toward the heat.

But as they approached, they saw what he was looking at. Three figures glowing like clouds at sunset, the drop beyond the tree visible through their sky-blue-tinted bodies. A young man, with curly hair, a scarred face, and a lopsided smile. An alien, less than a meter tall. And Kenobi, smiling with the light of unfettered knowledge behind his eyes. Han did not recognize the young man by face.

But his Force presence was unmistakably familiar, even distilled and brightened as it was. That man was Vader, in his happier days.

The cards are fixed now, their values set. One player wins, and others lose. Their lives go on.

Sabacc rarely changes live, or saves or takes them. But the Force is no mere game of chance…

15. The Destroyed Starship

Even as Luke discovered more and more records of the old Jedi Order, he never found another Solo who could have been Han's ancestor and link to the Force. So there was no knowing what his powers would manifest as most often, although he was moderately good at all the usual things once he got used to them. (He never could enjoy lightsaber combat. Although he kept the black-wrapped hilt of the blue blade attached to his belt, he always used blasters when he could.) He spent time with his children in Luke's academy, learning as they did, until the Yuuzhan Vong war made his skills as a pilot more essential than those as a Jedi.

So there was no precedent for the vision that wracked him soon after the war was over, when everyone felt a glimmer of hope again.

No precedent for the terrifying certainty of what Jacen was going to become.

The galaxy wept in the back of his head, threw minor chords with the vehemence of a crazed conductor and an enslaved orchestra, pressed against him, insisted (he was finally going to save it), and in its throes he walked through the apartment like a sleepwalker (except he was awake, so clear and awake that time did not exist anymore and he could see everything, could see Mara Jade slaughtered, could see Jacen tempted and fallingfallingfalling) and walked into Jacen's room and primed his blaster and saw his son sleeping (adult and scarred but so deceptively innocent-looking now) and could almost taste the new name on the tip of his tongue—!

#Star Wars #Han Solo #Solo: A Star Wars Story #writings

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michaelandy101-blog · 3 years

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18 Humorous Out-of-Workplace Messages to Encourage Your Personal [+ Templates]

New Post has been published on https://tiptopreview.com/18-funny-out-of-office-messages-to-inspire-your-own-templates/

18 Humorous Out-of-Workplace Messages to Encourage Your Personal [+ Templates]

In terms of the ultimate days earlier than trip, folks are likely to fall into one in all two camps: 1) those that watch the clock incessantly, and a couple of) those that are so busy earlier than they go away, they could even overlook to place up an out-of-office (OOO) e mail message.

For those who’re something like I’m, you in all probability fall into workforce two. That does not go away plenty of time to get inventive. However in case you plan forward, you may have the ability to craft some hilarity.

On this put up, I’ll go over what an OOO message is and share a few of the finest examples I’ve discovered on Google, in addition to a number of from my coworkers).

Out-of-Workplace Message

An out-of-office message is an automated e mail despatched by an e mail account that’s quickly not being checked by its proprietor. Each new e mail to this account will set off the out-of-office message, which is distributed on to the unique e mail’s sender. Most e mail service suppliers can help you activate this feature and customise your message.

Often known as “autoresponder emails,” out-of-office messages run the gamut. From humorous, to intelligent, to snarky, this message can each present your persona and let senders know that, properly, you’re out of workplace.

Whilst you can hold it easy, you too can have some enjoyable with it.

What ought to I placed on my out-of-office message?

First issues first: let’s go over the fundamentals of an OOO e mail. In your away message, you sometimes embody the next:

A fast “I’m out of the office” phrase.

The date or time vary you’ll be out.

Who to achieve out to in case the sender wants quick consideration.

An indication-off.

Placing all of it collectively, your autoresponder would learn one thing like:

“Hello there,

Thanks to your e mail. I’m at present out of workplace till mm/dd/yyyy. For those who need assistance, e mail my colleague at [email protected].

Finest,

[Name]”

However that sounds boring, proper? Fortunately, there are methods to boost your OOO message by including humor in simply the correct locations.

For those who’re feeling caught, attempt our free OOO email generator to draft a message that completely captures who you’re and the place you are going.

Featured Useful resource: OOO Email Generator

Create your OOO email by clicking here.

Humorous Out-of-Workplace Messages

I’ll e mail you again as soon as I’ve defrosted.

If discovered, contact somebody aside from me.

I’ll get again to you after I return to civilization.

If you could attain me, journey to my residence land of Florida.

I do know I’m purported to say that I’ll have restricted entry to e mail, however…

Hello, I’m Troy McClure.

The unhealthy information is that I’m out of workplace. The excellent news is that I’m out of workplace.

I’m at present out of the workplace and doubtless chilling on the seashore. Get pleasure from your work week.

Are you able to guess the place I’m?

Vacation revelry and debauchery forward. Proceed with warning (in case you dare).

Thanks a lot to your e mail. I find it irresistible already.

Die Laborious Quiz.

Listed here are 10 issues I’m grateful for.

I’m busy watching Christmas films. Catch ya later.

Thanks to your consideration throughout this festive or not-festive time.

I’ll get again to you as soon as I’m again from my long-awaited journey to the fridge.

The doorbell simply rang. It’s the usdriver. He’s loading me onto the truck.

Out-of-Workplace Messages for Trip

1. “I’ll email you back once I’ve defrosted.”

Most instances, when folks go on trip, they journey to a heat, tropical place…

However a few of us simply aren’t as fortunate. Or if we’re touring in the course of the winter and heading up north — properly, we’re going to run into some snow, aren’t we?

Whereas this will not show so lucky for us, we will use the poor climate for comedic aid. You may even embody a screenshot of the climate forecast for a way of realism. Not solely will it give senders a chuckle, but it surely’ll additionally generate a specific amount of empathy — which is commonly the important thing to good content material.

Instance

Thanks to your message! I’m at present buried in snow and can get again to you as soon as I’ve defrosted on January 2nd.

And in case you suppose I’m mendacity…

Image Source

Gotta go, my fingers are frostbitten. If you actually need me, both get a shovel and dig me out of right here, or attain out to my colleague Anna — who’s not frozen below snow with frostbitten fingers — at [email protected]

2. “If found, contact someone other than me.”

In case your e mail consumer permits it, you possibly can at all times simply use a picture to precise your out-office sentiment, like this one. In spite of everything, they are saying image is value a thousand phrases — and visible content material continues to be important to profitable marketing.

On this picture, you are letting folks know you are OOO with a “Missing” discover on a milk carton. Genius. Simply watch out — this form of autoresponder is finest for inside emails, not for autoresponders that get despatched to prospects and purchasers.

three. “I’ll get back to you when I return to civilization.”

For those who’re touring to a distant, mountainous space, why not jab some enjoyable at your lack of WiFi in your autoresponder? Plus, that makes it much less seemingly that folks will anticipate an instantaneous response or proceed to e mail you after the primary attempt.

Instance

Hello there,

Sorry I missed you — I’m unable to get to my e mail proper this second. Why? I’m on a backpacking journey, surviving on Spam, actually good water, and path combine. You need to see the celebs out right here.

I’ll get again to you after I return to civilization. Or to an space with WiFi. Or to the workplace on Might 10th. Whichever comes first.

For those who need assistance proper now, e mail my workforce at [email protected].

four. “If you need to reach me, travel to my homeland of Florida.”

When one in all my colleagues went on trip, he despatched an out-of-office message that was each intelligent and sensible. First, he despatched the recipient on an imaginary scavenger hunt to “the highest peak of the tallest mountain.” He used humorous absurdity to make it clear that he wouldn’t be checking e mail whereas he was away.

Plus, he integrated a pleasant method to let folks know that in the event that they actually needed him to learn their emails, they need to in all probability ship them once more after his return. Not solely does that hold the sender accountable by saying, “If this is really important, you know when to reach me,” but it surely additionally helps him really vacate his work whereas he is away. And that is laborious to do.

Beneath is an instance you should utilize for your self.

Instance

Hey!

I’m on trip till July 18th. If you could attain me, right here’s what you’ll have to do:

First, journey to my homeland of Florida.

Climb to the best peak of the tallest mountain.

Discover a uncommon flower (no specifics, after all… It’d be dishonest).

Put the flower again, as a result of because the previous climbing rule goes, “Leave everything as you found it.”

If you perceive that flower, you’ll know to achieve me. Belief me. You’ll know.

In case your message requires a response quicker than that, please e mail my supervisor at [email protected].

If you wish to ensure your message will get a response ASAP after I return, please ship it on July 18th. I like to recommend utilizing one in all our sales automation tools to schedule it now, when you’re enthusiastic about it.

5. “I know I’m supposed to say that I’ll have limited access to email, but…”

Josh Kopelman’s trip e mail is a traditional instance of taking a blunt strategy at OOO messages.

Not solely did Kopelman handle to show his out-of-office message into an epic poem of types, but in addition, he really went by way of the difficulty of making a delightfully snarky, vacation-specific e mail tackle for his recipients.

Giving the choice to contact an e mail tackle containing “interruptyourvacation” supplies two issues — 1) A dose of humor, and a couple of) discouragement from really doing what the identify suggests. Plus, he prefaces it with a request for empathy, by explaining that he promised high quality time to his household.

Positive, Kopelman is truthful about the truth that he is on trip, however he additionally lets the recipient know that she or he can be interrupting essential household time if the primary choice is chosen. It states a degree merely and makes use of humor to keep away from making it sound like he needs the reader to really feel responsible.

Beneath is an instance you should utilize for your self.

Instance

Hello there,

You bought this e mail instantly (traditional autoresponder conduct), which suggests I’m out of workplace on trip.

Whereas I hypothetically may attain my e mail, whereas I hypothetically do have my cellphone readily available, and whereas I hypothetically do have entry to WiFi, I’d slightly take pleasure in time with my household. My children are rising up on the pace of a supersonic jet, and if I blink yet another time, they’ll be 35. And I’ll be 73. And I don’t need that.

For those who nonetheless want to achieve me, you’ll be able to e mail [email protected]. Or you’ll be able to e mail my assistant at [email protected]. They will level you in the correct route.

Trying ahead to reconnecting as soon as I’m again.

6. “Hi, I’m Troy McClure.”

When one in all my colleagues is out of the workplace, he would not fiddle. The truth is, he is turned his auto-responses right into a operating collection of commentary from fictional cartoon character Troy McClure.

Every time McClure makes an look in these out-of-office messages, he “speaks” on behalf of my colleague and alludes to the earlier auto-responses through which he starred. It is a gentle type of self-deprecating humor — as if to say, “I know, I’m out of the office again” — made solely funnier by the made-up teaser title included within the final line.

Do not be afraid to make use of a pop cultural reference that the viewers would acknowledge. As an alternative of bemoaning your absence, they will have one thing enjoyable and acquainted to snigger at.

Instance

Image Source

Hello, I’m Troy McClure. You may bear in mind me from such out-of-office messages as Avenge My Demise if I Don’t Return from DMEXCO and Bye Now, I’m on an Absurdly Lengthy Biking Journey.

I’m right here to speak to you about somebody you already know. Catalina Wong is out of workplace till September 27. She needed me to let you already know that she’ll get again to you after her return.

That’s all for now. Look ahead to me within the upcoming out-of-office message, It’s Not a Hangover, It’s Meals Poisoning — I Swear! And be secure on the market.

7. “The bad news is that I’m out of office. The good news is that I’m out of office.”

You may present simply how thrilled you’re about your trip whereas nonetheless offering an apology (of types… not likely).

Instance

Hey there — I’ve obtained good and unhealthy information for you. Let’s go along with the unhealthy first.

The unhealthy information is that I’m out of workplace. The excellent news is that I’m out of workplace and having fun with elotes in Cancún.

For those who can’t anticipate a response, my colleague might be completely satisfied to care for you. Simply e mail them at [email protected].

I’ll be again on February seventh.

eight. “I am currently out of the office and probably chilling on the beach. Enjoy your work week.”

That’s it. That’s all. Easy and to the purpose, this message will let folks know that you would be able to’t reply to messages.

That mentioned, watch out with messages which can be this curt. Be sure to’re acquainted sufficient together with your viewers — and your boss, for that matter — to know that this form of out-of-office message might be met with a snicker, and never with annoyance.

9. “Can you guess where I am?”

There is a time period that we like to make use of round right here referred to as “snowbirds,” which is used to explain those that as soon as resided within the northern a part of the U.S., solely to flee to hotter elements of the nation in the course of the winter.

And though my colleague had blended emotions about her personal mother and father becoming a member of that inhabitants in Florida, she could not be too upset when her dad urged flying down from Boston for a Crimson Sox spring coaching recreation.

Naturally, she needed to take the day without work — and could not let people know with any previous generic auto-response. As an alternative, she made a guessing recreation of it in her out-of-office e mail, which you should utilize for your self, under.

Instance

Hey there,

I’m at present out of the workplace, having fun with some peanuts and Cracker Jacks with my household. Are you able to guess the place I’m? That’s okay, you’re busy.

In case your message is pressing, worry not — we’ll get it addressed. Attempt doing one in all two issues:

Ship me an e mail at [email protected].

Simply kidding. That’s not an actual e mail tackle.

Attain out to my supervisor at [email protected] in my absence.

I’ll be again within the workplace on 7/19 and can fortunately reply then. Have an excellent weekend!

Vacation Out-of-Workplace Messages

10. “Holiday revelry and debauchery ahead. Proceed with caution (if you dare).”

If you’re out for the vacations, how will you specific your thrill for the season with out sounding, properly, tacky?

How about warning folks of what’s to come back? Check out an instance you should utilize under.

Instance

Hey there,

Cautious. Vacation revelry and debauchery forward. Proceed with warning (in case you dare).

By which I imply to say: I’m on vacation, I’m positively sunburnt, and I’m sorry I missed your e mail.

Don’t you are worried: whereas I fake to be Santa in entrance of my children, my colleague, Hannah, will cowl for me. Simply e mail her at [email protected] in case you want pressing help.

Take care, and don’t get too carried away with the sunbathing!

11. “Thank you so much for your email. I love it already.”

This vacation out-of-office e mail is unquestionably on theme, if not slightly passive aggressive. For those who’re getting emails in the course of the holidays, why not deal with every part you obtain that season like the current it’s, and ship a thanks be aware?

My snarky colleague positive did in his out-of-office message under. We ship thank-you letters in response to vacation presents, so it is solely pure to anticipate the identical gesture in our work inboxes …

Instance

Hey there,

Thanks a lot to your e mail. I find it irresistible already. It’s wrapped so properly in its charming topic line that I simply knew this message was going to be one thing particular. Items like these simply don’t come round on daily basis.

Sadly, I’m going to need to return your message. Because it’s the vacation season, I’m at present away from the workplace. Once I return, I’ll give your e mail a great strong learn and discover that your request is strictly what I wanted in any case! However till then, I’m going to maintain it within the inbox so it doesn’t get broken and revisit it after the vacations are over.

Joyful holidays!

12. “Die Hard Quiz.”

Try this message from a HubSpot worker that definitely turns the tables on the e-mail sender. Proper while you thought you have been the one requesting motion, the recipient despatched again an project — a enjoyable one, a minimum of.

Whereas the sender waits to your response to their e mail, take the sting out of your absence by involving them in a vacation survey, just like the one under.

Instance

Sorry I missed you. I’ll be out of the workplace and gradual to reply till after the break. Whereas I’ve you, although, assist settle an argument amongst my colleagues and me:

Die Laborious Quiz

What was the very best Die Laborious film?

Die Laborious 1: The Workplace Christmas Get together Gone Improper.

Die Laborious 2: Airport Conspiracy.

Die Laborious three: Samuel L. Jackson. Sufficient mentioned.

Die Laborious four: Cyberthreat.

Die Laborious 5: You need to in all probability not choose this one.

Unattainable! It’s like selecting a favourite little one!

Submit

13. “Here are 10 things I’m thankful for.”

This e mail comes from one other one in all my colleagues. The aim of this e mail is to intercept messages throughout Thanksgiving, and the way in which through which it does so is, properly, with thankfulness.

The humorous and charming e mail template under retains the boldness of your colleagues with a listing of issues anybody who works in an workplace is grateful for. In fact, be at liberty to customise this record in response to the quirks of your personal office. Thanksgiving is the proper time to disclose them.

Instance

Since I’m out of the workplace for the Thanksgiving weekend, I’ll reply to your e mail with a listing of 10 issues I’m grateful for:

Copiers that collate

Co-workers that brew extra espresso once they empty the pot

Donuts on Mondays AND Fridays

When IT shocked me with a brand new laptop computer AND remembered to switch my recordsdata

When You-Know-Who died on the finish of e book 7

Dry-erase boards that really erase

The courageous soul who cleaned out the fridge

Once I’m early to an all-staff assembly and rating a desk close to the door

HR lastly despatched a memo telling folks to STOP clipping their nails at their desk

OOO autoresponders

Have an excellent Thanksgiving, and I’ll get again to you Monday.

14. “I’m busy watching Christmas movies. Catch ya later.”

There is no disgrace in utilizing Christmas to take pleasure in your childhood film tastes, however there’s disgrace in not sharing that cute facet of your self when individuals are attempting to achieve you in the course of the holidays.

So, take a lesson from @courtwhip, editor at PEDESTRIAN.TV, who wrote the above hilarious out-of-office e mail, totally stocked with mentions of the very best films from the 1990s. (By the way in which, “Splinter” is from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and as everyone knows, he loves pizza.)

Beneath is an instance you possibly can use for your self. Properly, it’s the identical e mail.

Instance

Oh hey, it’s Christmas, what are you doing emailing me?

I’m extraordinarily busy watching Dwelling Alone, Die Laborious, and the 1994 Ninja Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Christmas Particular on repeat till the brand new 12 months.

I would cease for meals and bathroom breaks, I additionally may not.

No matter my normal well being and hygiene over the foolish season, I’ll be again within the workplace on January 2.

Catch ya then, don’t overlook to purchase a pepperoni pizza for Splinter.

15. “Thank you for your consideration during this festive or not-festive time.”

Terrified of offending a coworker who could or could not rejoice the vacations? Fear not — I’ve obtained the proper e mail for you. If this OOO message does something significantly properly, it is that it respects the differing views, religions, traditions, and opinions of your coworkers — whereas amusing so many others.

It’s additionally an excellent impersonation of a robotic. So if that’s up your alley…

Instance

Hey,

You’ve reached Michael Abioye’s inbox. It is a normal discover informing you of Michael Abioye’s absence till January 2nd, 20XX. He’s at present partaking within the traditions of a sure vacation, which can or is probably not denominational or non-denominational. Instance Firm is by no means endorsing or not endorsing mentioned vacation, nor encouraging or discouraging workers of all demographics to interact in celebratory actions. Thanks to your consideration throughout this festive or not-festive time.

Sincerely,

Administration

Out-of-Workplace Messages When Working from Dwelling

Working from residence? Attempt these OOO messages to let folks know you’re taking a break.

16. “I’ll get back to you once I’m back from my long-awaited trip to the fridge.”

For those who’re taking a trip and staying residence, your purchasers or coworkers should still anticipate you to pop into the workplace and reply their e mail. Use this autoresponder to allow them to know you’re actually not out there — even in case you’re bumming round on the sofa.

Instance

Hey,

Thanks to your e mail. I’m on trip. On the sofa. Consuming chips. And bingeing Stranger Issues for the eighth time (don’t inform anybody).

Sadly, I can’t reply your e mail (despite the fact that my workplace is three toes away). I’ll get again to you as soon as I’m again from my long-awaited journey to the fridge. Purchased tickets on TripAdvisor and every part.

I’ll be again within the workplace on the third and can get again to you then.

17. “Alexa, play Vacation by Dirty Heads.”

Do you personal an Alexa? This is likely to be the e-mail for you.

Instance

“Alexa, play Vacation by Dirty Heads.”

And… it’s enjoying within the background as I write this e mail. Guess what? I’m on trip! And I do love my occupation.

Your e mail has been acquired and I’ll get again to you as quickly as I get again to my residence workplace. Now, how do I flip off this Alexa factor?

18. “The doorbell just rang. It’s the UPS driver. He’s loading me onto the truck.”

On this e mail, you’re a UPS package deal getting delivered to your trip vacation spot. Ah, I want UPS provided this service.

Instance

Hey — you’ve reached my inbox, however maintain on, the doorbell simply rang. It’s the usdriver. He’s loading me onto the truck. Dang, it’s stuffy on this truck with all these packing containers. He’s taking me right down to… Oh! Florida! And now I’m on the seashore. Thanks, UPS driver!

The united statesdriver is scheduled to choose me again up on the eighth. He ought to ship me again to the workplace by the ninth (assuming he’s not late like he was this time).

Don’t fear — I’ll wrap myself in bubble wrap so nothing breaks.

Humorous OOO Messages By no means Fail

Are you totally impressed by the inventive out-of-office messages above? It is time to write your personal — your upcoming trip is determined by it. Attempt HubSpot’s OOO Electronic mail Generator in case you’re feeling caught, and bear in mind, an out-of-office e mail doesn’t should be boring. Quite the opposite, it ought to inform and entertain. You don’t need folks hating on you since you took a much-needed break.

Editor’s be aware: This put up was initially revealed in December 2018 and has been up to date for comprehensiveness.

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sapphicscholar · 6 years

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I know you've kind of done this already in Tabula Rasa, but could you maybe write a fic where some of the Superfriends end up in a parallel Earth where all of the Superfriends (or at least most, I'd love to see another version of evil Alex for sure. Maybe a version of her who became evil even without working for a xenophobic DEO? IDK) are evil? (This prompt may or may not be inspired by my annoyance at the plot of the crossover...)

I just posted it to AO3!

A/N:Ugh yes, we can all be annoyed at the crossover… Since I already did an actual evil alternate universe in Tabula Rasa, I went full on campy evil for this one (think Lucy Diamond in DEBS) that’s largely inspired by my earlier musings here. Anyhow, I hope you enjoy and sorry it took me a while to get to it! I’m finally going through some old prompt requests now that I’ve got a bit of time in these quiet few days at work.

Chapter Text

“Not again,” Alex hissed as the monitors flickered to black before flashing back up now covered in full color, high resolution photos of her from high school: black choker around her neck, black vest on, striped tie looped around the waist of her low-rise jeans, and some heavy black eyeliner to top off the whole punk rock aesthetic.

“You’ve got company headed up in 5,” James informed her, ignoring the litany of increasingly obscene threats crackling through his earpiece.

“Then get your little boyfriend on the phone and tell him to knock it the fuck off,” Alex growled, waiting for the inevitable refutation of their relationship, the insistence that they “don’t do labels.”

Even as he protested, James dialed Winn.

“Hello?” Winn answered, the poorly disguised snicker proof enough that he was behind the hack.

“C’mon man, we let Lucy have her heist last night without issue. Let Alex back into the system.”

“You’re getting off too easily,” Winn huffed.

“And I can guarantee you won’t get off at all tonight if you don’t call this off,” James threatened.

“You’re the worst.”

“Nah, I don’t think so.”

“You know how much shit I’m gonna get from Vasquez if I give in this quickly?”

“What if we promise not to ruin their date night with Lucy this week?”

Winn paused, deliberating for a few minutes. “That I can work with.”

“Thanks, man.”

“See you tonight?”

“My place or yours?”

“James!” Alex growled, her voice startling him.

“Mine,” he quickly answered Winn, hanging up to refocus his attention on Alex. “You should be back in any second now.”

“Not dating my ass.” Alex continued trying to circumvent the active hack until suddenly it disappeared, the screens flashing back to the museum security feed she’d been trying to overwrite when Winn and Vasquez decided to play their little prank. “I’m back.”

“Good. You’ve got about two minutes.”

“Only need one.”

“That’s my girl,” Maggie chimed in, her voice barely audible over the sound of her motorcycle roaring to life.

“Always.”

“Now who’s being gross?” James teased, following Maggie’s location through her motorcycle’s GPS tracker.

“Still you,” came Alex and Maggie’s voices in unison.

“And we’re…clear!” Alex cheered, slinging the long cardboard tube over her back, wiping the keyboard even though she was wearing gloves, and bolting for the back exit where the security cameras were still under repair.

“Three, two, one,” James counted down, watching as Alex and Maggie’s blinking red GPS lights got closer and closer together.

“Hey babe,” Alex rasped, throwing on the spare helmet and straddling the back of Maggie’s bike. “Take me home. You know how I get after a good heist.”

“You still have to come here first!” James yelled, hoping he wouldn’t have to go over in the middle of the night to interrupt them…again.

“I’m thinking diamonds,” Lucy mused, her teeth nipping at Vasquez’s earlobes and her hips grinding down into their lap.

“Mm, yeah?” Vasquez asked, not trying particularly hard to pay much attention to their girlfriend’s words. At this stage, they were always just ideas, liable to change with a moment’s notice—often to thwart Alex’s latest ploy. They were just grateful that the rivalry had turned (mainly) friendly over the years. Back before Alex started dating Maggie, the two had been at each other’s throats, more often focused on ruining the other’s heists than on actually accomplishing anything themselves. But now that Alex had a “mission statement,” which Lucy loved to scoff at, even though she liked to boast about how she operated within her own code of honor, they’d come to an uneasy truce that involved more playful attempts at sabotage that rarely turned violent these days.

“Can you two not do that in the van?” Winn whined. “This is my space—my sacred space.”

“You said that about your lab too,” Vasquez pointed out.

“Yeah, Schott, you only get one. Pick wisely.”

“Just don’t—keep your clothes on, alright?”

“No promises.”

“Why do I tolerate you two?”

“Because otherwise you’d be sitting in a lab full of perfect inventions without the daring to go use them yourself?” Vasquez offered.

“You’d have this van all rigged for surveillance with no one to watch for?” Lucy chimed in.

“You’d know how to make targeted explosions and decoys and holograms but never see them put to their best uses?”

“You’d—”

“Okay! Okay, I get it. You two are the muscle.”

“And the looks.”

“And the courage.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” Vasquez said, shaking their head. “C’mon, who would actually know enough about computers to hack me if you left?”

“I guess,” Winn sighed melodramatically. “So you said diamonds…want me to start looking up possible targets?”

“I know just the one.”

“That so?”

Lucy nodded. “Oh yeah. She has more money than anyone in National City—just enough for some forcible sharing, I think.”

“Love the way you think,” Vasquez said, placing a kiss on Lucy’s cheek.

“Wait. You’re gonna try to rob Cat and Astra?” Winn asked, his mouth gaping.

“What? No, I don’t have a death wish,” Lucy laughed. “Besides, they’re already fighting the good fight.”

“Ah yes, that Lucy Lane patented code of honor.”

Holding two fingers up, Vasquez repeated in a military-esque monotone: “Criminals with honor do not harm or steal from other criminals with honor.”

“Damn straight.”

“And so how do you justify messing with Alex?” Winn asked.

“That sense of honor is still new. And these days I don’t harm her—just inconvenience her.”

“Fine,” Winn gave in. “But who’s richer than Cat and Astra?”

“Lena Luthor.”

—

The next morning, Alex carefully brushed away a speck of almost imperceptible dust from the broad shoulders of James’ suit jacket, watching in the mirror as he straightened his jacket and tightened the knot of his tie just a hair. Maggie handed him his phone and gun once Alex got his cufflinks fastened.

With a charming (and perfectly disarming) smile and wink, James slung the tube over his shoulder. “Wish me luck.”

“You don’t need luck when you look like that,” Maggie teased, swatting at James as he walked toward the front door, putting an extra swing in his step and letting out a deep laugh at the teasing wolf whistles and catcalls Alex and Maggie sent his way.

“We’ll be in the area if you need us, alright?” Alex added, her expression morphing into a more serious one.

“I know you’ve got my back, Alex.”

“Always.”

Within half an hour, James’ town car pulled up in front of the buyer’s restored nineteenth-century brownstone where he’d agreed to meet them—the hominess of it all somehow helping their genteel clientele to assuage their guilt over purchasing stolen artwork.

“Mr. Kent?” a middle-aged woman answered the door.

“At your service,” James replied with a small dip of his head and an easy smile that had her cheeks flushing a faint pink. “Can I ask your name?”

“Oh, I’m not the one you want to see.”

“On the contrary. You’re the very first one I’ve seen, which must make you someone worth knowing.” James smiled as any sense of wariness dissipated, the woman clearly charmed by him.

“I’m Katarina. I work for Morgan Edge.”

“Well it is my deepest pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

“Yes, I, uh, yes,” she stammered, mumbling her way through a few pleasantries before finally guiding him out of the entrance room. “Come right this way.” He followed her through a long hallway until they reached the home office in the back.

“Mr. Edge, it’s so nice to meet in person,” James greeted the man.

“I see you brought my newest acquisition.”

Right to business apparently, James thought. “I did. I assume you’ll want to see it first.”

As he pulled the tube over his shoulders, Katarina returned, a small mug clutched in her hands. “I brought your espresso.”

“Thank you,” James said, his deep voice rumbling over the disgruntled huff of Morgan’s complaints about her always interrupting his meetings. He paused for a moment to sip at it. “Always better to enjoy while it’s hot,” he added by way of explanation. “And it is excellent, Katarina.”

“Well, if you ever find yourself in need of a fix…”

“You’ll be the first person I call.” Sensing Morgan’s growing frustration, he turned back to the tube, slipping on a pair of gloves to pull out the painting.

Morgan leaned in closely, magnifying glass in hand as he inspected a few areas—always the same ones, James thought to himself, almost disappointed by the predictability of it all. After several long minutes, Morgan nodded. “It will be the perfect piece for my study.”

“And now it’s my turn to inspect.” James carefully rolled the painting up once more and stuck it back in the tube.

“Of course.” Morgan handed over a briefcase full to the rim with stacks of bills before turning back to his desk. With the painting strapped to his back for safekeeping, James checked the totals, then ran the special detecting pen Alex had invented to find fake money by scanning the chemical makeup of the ink and paper over the edges of the bills.

When Morgan turned again, already demanding to know what the holdup was, he found a gun pointed between his eyes. “And what do you think you’re doing?” he growled. “In my own home? I’ll have the police here before you can even think of pulling that trigger.”

“Oh, I don’t think you will. At least not when you’re buying stolen art and trying to pay me with counterfeit bills.”

“They’re perfectly real,” Morgan scoffed, pulling out one of top stacks.

“No, no.” Shaking his head, James pulled out the stacks beneath it. “The rest of it.”

Looking slightly inconvenienced but not at all abashed about having been caught, Morgan unlocked his safe and pulled out another briefcase, which James inspected thoroughly. Finally convinced that they were real, James added the top layer of real bills from the other briefcase to the new one—“for the trouble you put me through”—and handed off the painting, slowly backing out of the room, gun still pointed at the man until he was out of sight.

—

“Deal’s done,” came James’ voice through the intercom once he was safe in the town car again. “You need backup?”

“Nah, this part is the easiest,” Maggie answered, grinning over at Alex, who was leaning heavily against the wall of the warehouse, barely stifling her tired yawns. “Looks like I wore you out last night, babe.”

“More like Lucy did,” Alex huffed. “I’m so sick of having to deal with the added stress of her shit.”

“Oh please, you two keep each other sharp.”

Before their bickering could escalate—or turn into the heated makeup sex they favored—they heard the door creak open, and Alex smiled as Maggie greeted the first man through the door in perfect Spanish. They never used names, but she still felt close to him, a level of loyalty she afforded to very few of her other clients.

“I believe we have something that belongs to you,” she said, switching back to English when the rest of the group joined them.

“Already?”

“We’re nothing if not efficient,” Alex chimed in.

“Why?” one of the women in the group asked. She was new, Maggie noted, and rightfully suspicious of a gift that seemed to come with no strings attached.

“I don’t take kindly to my country profiting off of stolen artwork. I’m simply…expediting the process of repatriation.”

The woman scoffed. “And your country is okay with this?”

“Was yours when we stole the art in the first place?”

“And there are no strings attached?”

“Ah, well, I do like a nice bottle of wine—I’m partial to reds, and my partner here likes a dry wine.”

“Anything for you,” the man from before added, tipping his head to Maggie before taking the tube from her. “As always, thank you.”

“Anytime.”

—

“Have I mentioned lately how much I love having shapeshifters for friends?” Kara asked, throwing an arm around J’onn’s shoulders and reaching a hand out to M’gann. “Because I really, really do.”

“Whatever we can do to help Lena’s shelter—just say the word,” J’onn said.

“As long as you never say a word, then we’ll be just fine.”

“I still don’t see why the girl won’t let her good deeds be known,” M’gann mused, letting go of Kara’s hand to settle back in behind the bar.

“It’s harder to blackmail rich bad guys when you’re not invited around anymore because the Luthor last name has lost all meaning.”

“You’re the one that collects half the dirt with your powers, though.”

“But I wouldn’t know where to go digging if it weren’t for Lena’s first steps. Plus, you know how she enjoys siphoning off Luthor Corp funds. It’d be less fun if she had to spend her own money.”

“You know we’re mindreaders, right?” J’onn asked, arching an eyebrow at Kara.

“You can’t read mine,” Kara countered.

“No,” M’gann admitted, “but we know that your little girlfriend donates half of her personal income to charities every year.”

Kara groaned. “Don’t tell her you know, okay? She doesn’t want people knowing about it—once people know, it ruins it for her.”

“Whatever you say…”

“It’s not like you want people to know you’ve been volunteering to keep her refugee center running either.”

“No one would willingly enter a center run in part by a White Martian, especially one who shapeshifts to steal and infiltrate the local police units.”

“And you think that they’d send their kids off to play with a Luthor?”

“Point taken.”

“Anyway, are you two coming over for dinner tonight?”

“Not tonight, sorry,” J’onn apologized. “We’re a little short-staffed at the bar, and you know how Friday nights can get.”

“But next time, we promise,” M’gann added, reaching over to give Kara a hug before she left.

—

“We should really get going,” Astra sighed, even as she lifted her arms to allow her shirt to be removed. “Wouldn’t want to be late.” Her breath hitched at the feeling of teeth nipping at her neck and nimble fingers deftly undoing the button and zipper of her black pants.

“She’s not my niece,” Cat shrugged. “Besides, I’ve always preferred to be fashionably late.”

“And yet if I’m just a minute late for dinner…”

“I. Do. Not. Wait.” Cat declared, punctuating her words with harder bites, wishing she could leave some kind of mark on that flawless skin.

“I always make it worth your while, though,” Astra drawled, easily flipping them so that Cat was on her back, her breathing ragged and her chest flushed a faint pink.

“Last night you didn’t.”

“Last night I had the chance to sabotage the newest oil pipeline, darling. I don’t complain when your work comes first.” Astra’s fingers trailed up Cat’s thighs, gently pushing up the hem of her dress.

“I know, I know. It’s just a shame—you know my fingers, talented as they might be, just don’t compare to your tongue.”

“Well, why don’t we get dressed for dinner with Kara, and when we get back, I’ll make it up to you threefold.”

“I suppose I could be amenable to those terms if you let us take the car to dinner tonight.”

“But flying is so environmentally friendly.”

“It’s windy.”

“I’ll shield you.”

“We drive a hybrid.”

“Fine,” Astra finally relented.

—

Looking around the table, Kara couldn’t help but smile at the sight of her friends and family all gathered together, laughing as Maggie regaled them with tales of Alex’s latest misadventures with Lucy, Vasquez, and Winn. As much as Alex complained about the lot of them, she knew better than to believe that she truly hated them. After all, it had been Lucy and Alex who’d willingly put aside their differences to bring down Non when Astra’s life was in jeopardy, then again when Max Lord came for Kara herself. Plus, she doubted that Alex would voluntarily spend hours sifting through childhood photos of someone she truly despised, even if she was looking only for the most embarrassing ones.

“What matters,” Alex finally cut in when it seemed like Maggie was just one step away from pulling out the photos for a show and tell, “is that we made it out just fine.”

“Which is why we’re letting Lucy have her little date night tonight without any interruptions from us.”

The laughter that filled the room was soon cut off as both Kara and Astra sprung to their feet.

“We have company,” Astra hissed. Within moments, everyone in the room had at least one weapon drawn, all of which were pointed at the intruder that Astra whisked in through the balcony window and unceremoniously threw to the floor.

“Lucy?” Alex gasped, seeing the telltale full body black leather suit she wore when she went out on her little cat burglary missions.

“The hell, Danvers? I thought you were gonna let me have my date night.”

“Since when is your date night crashing my family dinner?”

“Since when is Luthor family?”

“Since she started dating me,” Kara just about growled, crossing her arms and stepping protectively in front of Lena. “And if you’re here to hurt her, you’re gonna have to fight your way through each and every one of us first.”

“And you know better than to touch my sister,” Alex added, her tone sharp as she let her gaze flick pointedly to the gun in her hand.

“Since when do you protect the rich?” Lucy asked, turning her attention to Maggie, figuring she was the best bet for an ally—she had the whole Robin Hood schtick down to an art.

“When the rich are giving more money away than I could even if I managed a heist every day.” Lena began to object, but Maggie waved off her protests. “Alex hacked into your accounts the first time she found you and her sister in bed together. Be lucky that’s all we found.”

“If you’re so charitable, why have you been ordering millions of dollars’ worth of diamonds?” Lucy demanded.

“Most of them will be sent back to the communities they were stolen from,” Lena huffed. “I might be a villain—”

“Hardly,” Maggie scoffed. “Blackmailing the worst of your one-percenter pals with your girlfriend, stealing from your family’s evil company—they hardly make you a villain.”

Lena just rolled her eyes. “Fine. But, since the surprise is sort of ruined now…” Turning to face Kara, Lena dropped down to one knee. “Kara Danvers, the months I’ve spent with you have been some of the best ones of my life. There’s no one I’d rather extort and blackmail with than you. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

“Yes!” Kara gasped, dropping down to her knees as well and pulling Lena into a passionate kiss that may well have gone on much too long to be appropriate in front of family, friends, and intruders were it not for the loud whooshing sound and the way the whole floor seemed to shake.

“The hell did you bring with you, Lane?” Alex growled.

“It wasn’t—” But Lucy didn’t have time to finish her thoughts before a large silvery portal opened up, and doppelgangers of Kara, Alex, Maggie, and Winn thumped to the floor, looking more than a little taken aback at the sight of so many people and weapons surrounding them.

“Who are you?” Kara finally demanded, glaring at the intruders, letting her eyes burn red.

“Um, I think we’re you…from another Earth—Earth-38 to be specific,” the new Kara volunteered. “We were over on Earth-1 helping out some friends, but we had to leave in a hurry, and I think maybe we set up the breech incorrectly…”

“No shit,” Alex growled, looking closely at her Earth-38 counterpart and refusing to lower her weapon.

At that moment, Lucy’s earpiece crackled to life with Vasquez and Winn’s worried questions. “I’m up in the apartment…whole story there. But, uh, we’ve got company, and I think you’re gonna want to see this.”

—

Earth-38 Winn scoffed at his doppelganger, having found himself increasingly disgusted as he heard him joking about heists and devious inventions. “How could you? After everything that happened with our dad?”

“After everything that happened, how could you not?” his evil counterpart shot back. “You watched him lose everything—his career, his money, his inventions, his wife, his love for life, his desire to live. How can you justify sitting back and doing nothing to avenge him?”

“Somehow I don’t think a murderer losing his love of life while he rots in prison really rises to the level of vengeance-worthy crimes against humanity.”

“Prison?”

“For murder.”

“What do you mean? He didn’t do anything. He let his boss take credit for his inventions, rolled over each and every time until he had nothing worth fighting for, nothing worth living for.”

Winn stood there blinking. “I…that—that’s not what happened on my Earth.”

—

Across the room, Maggie and Alex sat together, watching as their Kara and Winn worked with the other Earth’s more tech-oriented folks to try to make sure that any new breeches wouldn’t send them to yet another Earth that might be even less friendly toward them.

“You didn’t seem surprised that your doppelganger isn’t the paragon of virtue,” Maggie noted.

“I’m not.”

“Why’s that?”

Alex shrugged. “I’m not Kara. I’ve killed before, and I likely will again. I do the things that need to be done. I’ve never been a saint.”

“But you’re no villain.”

“But to have lost things like that…this Alex had both of her parents taken away and was left with another girl who had lost her whole world, who didn’t get a loving, supportive family to raise her. Instead she was left with me—some bitter teenage rebel who wanted nothing more than to see this world pay for its crimes.” Alex shook her head; it was impressive that they’d ended up as decent as they had. Sure, her counterpart had stolen and lied, but she’d never descended to murder or kidnapping or anything of that nature. She suspected Kara had something to do with it; even if this version of Supergirl was willing to claim power in a way hers never had, was willing to kill when it came down to it in a fight, she still fought for justice, still fought for good.

Regarding Maggie, Alex added, “You’re not exactly stunned yourself.”

“If I didn’t have an aunt to take me in, of course I’d have turned to petty theft. Plus, Robin Hood was my favorite Disney movie…”

Alex laughed. “I guess even here you’ve got a pretty deep-rooted sense of justice.”

“Yeah. And here you’ve got an undercut,” Maggie added, veering them toward lighter topics. “It’s pretty hot.”

“I really hope you’re not suggesting some threesome.”

With a loud bark of a laugh, Maggie shook her head. “Not in the slightest. Just, you know, if you ever wanted to change up your look…”

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mcmansionhell · 7 years

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Looking Around: Introduction to Floor Plans

Hello Friends! Sorry about the drama this week. Back to our regularly scheduled content!

Last week’s installment left us wondering: If architectural style isn’t going to help us identify common houses, what will?

In the world of vernacular architecture, floor plans are perhaps one of the single greatest ways to differentiate and identify certain types of houses for a number of reasons:

1) While the outside of some houses may look similar or exactly the same, their internal floor plans can be completely different, and vice versa!

2) There’s a clear historical progression of the number of rooms in a house and their various uses, which can be helpful in (roughly) determining the age of a house.

3) It’s possible to identify many floor plans from reading the exterior of a house - it just takes some practice!

The good news about floor plans is that a lot of our architectural vocabulary when talking about everyday houses already revolves around floor plans - we’re just not often aware of it. For example, a four-square house is called such because, well, it usually has four rooms per floor.

Sterling Homes, 1916. Via Archive.org. Public Domain

Alas, not all houses that look alike have the same floor plan! This is where homebuilding trends and regional differences come into play. For example, here is a four-square house that looks similar to the one above, but has a totally different floor plan!

Radford Homes 1909, via Archive.org. Public Domain.

In addition, houses that look relatively different from each other can have very similar floor plans. Taking the example of our first house, here is a house that looks different from it but has a very similar internal layout!

Sterling Homes, 1916. Via Archive.org. Public Domain.

As we can see, unlike architectural styles, floor plans offer a certain cohesion to different everyday houses from similar time periods.

We’re going to look at different floor plan typologies in-depth in other posts in this series, but in order to do so, an overview is needed.

Technology, Sociology, and the Layout of Houses

Before the Second Industrial Revolution, the layouts of most everyday houses were relatively simple, with a limited number of rooms and room functions. These pre-industrial houses are what most definitions of “vernacular” architecture refer to, emphasizing the heavily localized nature of their construction, entirely reliant on regional builders and their aesthetics, as well as material factors such as distribution of materials, types of financing, and land development/use. (Hubka 2013, 41; Gottfried and Jennings 2009, 9)

It’s important to note that regional differences and the design traditions of local builders are still extremely important today when examining common houses. However, it’s also important to understand that the industrialization of homebuilding and the housing market beginning in the late 19th century increasingly homogenized these design traditions and the role of local builders became developing nuanced regional traditions within a nationalized design fabric rather than the dominant determinants of housing forms. (Hubka 2013, 41)

There is a common misconception that houses got smaller as the 20th century moved forward. This is only true when talking about the houses of the elite, which indeed shrunk after certain sociological changes, such as the abolition of slavery and the reduction of live-in servants in the post-Victorian era.

The industrialization of national housing types ultimately brought down the costs of building homes with certain types of features. Several housing features that were previously accessible only to the upper classes such as modern bathroom and kitchen fixtures, dining rooms, closets, front porches, and larger, more private bedrooms became, through mass production, accessible to the middle and working class. For these classes, the average home sized actually increased in comparison to their previous dwellings. (Hubka 2013, 27)

Changing Patterns in Room Layouts and Uses

Pre-Railroad, Pre-Industrialization

Prior to industrialization (McAlester: pre-1850-1890), most working class houses were centered around the kitchen, with one or two other rooms for living, sleeping, and working.

1800s cottage in Custer Co., Nebraska. Image via Library of Congress. Public Domain.

One-room-deep (aka hall-and-parlor or “I” house plans) plans demonstrate the sparseness of these early work and kitchen-centric houses. At this time, many people often worked within their homes, or their homes were located on the premises of where they worked, such as sharecroppers’ cottages.

These early houses did not have the technological luxuries of today such as kitchen appliances or bathrooms. Each room had more than one purpose (Hubka 2013, 68).

Expansion of Industrialization

During the expansion of the railroads and the transition into industrialization (Hubka: 1860-1930; McAlester: 1850-1920), working and middle class houses developed three areas of domesticity: kitchen, living, and bedroom(s). The total number of rooms was increased from 1-3 to 3-5. The houses built for workers by the industries they worked for tended to be of this model. Below is a 1903 Radford prototype:

A more common subtype was the two-room-deep four-box (one-story four-square), as seen in this 1910 Aladdin catalog example:

At this time, the threshold between working and middle class houses was whether or not they had an internal bathroom or other utility spaces such as pantries or closets. At this time, thanks to the railroads and other technological developments, work began to be separated from the home; that is, many families began that familiar ritual known as the commute.

The Modern Era (post 1900)

Further improvements in homebuilding technology at the turn of the 20th century transformed the early industrial-era houses into our contemporary ideas of middle class domesticity that still exist today. House size increased from 3-5 to 5-8 rooms, with increasingly specified room types and modern utilities. By this time, thanks to the invention of the streetcar and later the automobile, almost all work was separated from the home as first and second generation suburbs flourished.

The bungalow was the first types of houses developed during this time, and its layout continues to be influential today:

Via Archive.org.

At this time, specialized hobby rooms such as studies and sewing rooms began to appear in upper-middle class homes. This increasingly specific room use will soon devolve into contemporary tropes such as formal vs informal living rooms, game rooms, breakfast nooks, and laundry rooms.

(We know that this devolves into McMansion tropes as well - theatre rooms, anyone?)

That’s it for this week’s Looking Around! In our next installment, we’ll examine early industrialized home plans in more detail. Be sure to stay tuned for the Mississippi McMansion of the Week on Thursday!

If you like this post, and want to see more like it, consider supporting me on Patreon! Also JUST A HEADS UP - I’ve started posting a GOOD HOUSE built since 1980 from the area where I picked this week’s McMansion as bonus content on Patreon!

Not into small donations and sick bonus content? Check out the McMansion Hell Store- 100% goes to charity.

Copyright Disclaimer: All photographs in this post are publicly available and are used in this post for the purposes of education, satire, and parody, consistent with 17 USC §107. Manipulated photos are considered derivative work and are Copyright © 2017 McMansion Hell. Please email [email protected] before using these images on another site. (am v chill about this)

Works Cited:

Carter, Thomas, and Elizabeth C. Cromley. Invitation to vernacular architecture: a guide to the study of ordinary buildings and landscapes. Knoxville: University of Tennessee Press, 2008.

Gottfried, Herbert, and Jan Jennings. American vernacular buildings and interiors 1870-1960. New York: W.W. Norton & Co., 2009.

Hubka, Thomas C. Houses without names: architectural nomenclature and the classification of Americas common houses. Knoxville: University of Tennessee Press, 2013.

McAlester, Virginia, and A. Lee McAlester. A field guide to American houses: the definitive guide to identifying and understanding Americas domestic architecture. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2015.

#architecture #building #houses #vernacular architecture #architectural history #looking around #history of architecture #american architecture

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