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#something about being upset about being too forgiving
ana-snz · 3 days
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More thoughts on the recent snzblr discourse. I will try my best to be understanding and levelheaded about this, but this topic is very personal to me so forgive me if I’m not entirely able to.
I will start by saying that it is not “purity culture” or “moral panic” to say that having this kink does not excuse intentionally infecting unconsenting individuals with illness. There is a MASSIVE difference between enjoying a kink in a consensual setting or fantasizing about it (no one is saying you can’t do these things, you are not being shamed for your fantasies / desires!) and actually involving unwilling individuals in your kink.
Consent is the #1 most important thing in all kink spaces. Like yes we are all here for the same reason, and there may be a propensity to feel defensive if you feel you are being kink-shamed in what is supposed to be a space for us all to be as open and loud and unabashed about our desires as we want, but it is still absolutely crucial to delineate between what is fantasy and what is reality, and understand that our real life actions can and do have consequences. We are not living inside a sickfic, the ways in which we choose to engage in our kink MUST be consensual, respectful, responsible, and safe. It is the bare minimum for this, or any kink space.
It is not kink-shaming to say that non-consensual engagement is wrong and unethical, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as potentially dangerous as illness. It’s also worth acknowledging that the dynamic of our community has been greatly impacted by COVID, just by the nature of what the kink entails, and that this sucks and is worth mourning, but just like with many other things the pandemic has impacted, we cannot hang on to this old way of being when it no longer is safe or realistic to do so. This is the way things are now, and it sucks, but we can still find SO much enjoyment and gratification and pleasure in the way things are now.
If you are feeling discomfort, if the points disabled people are bringing up around this topic are making you question yourself and your actions, that is likely something for you sit with and explore yourself, rather than trying to debate with disabled people on whether or not their reaction to inflammatory, ableist content is “moral panic”. Understand that this conversation is part of a much, much larger picture and that it is not isolated to just our community, but rather a reflection of a larger systemic response in which disabled people have been disbelieved, undermined, and discarded when it comes to our rights and safety during an ongoing pandemic.
If you didn’t read as much into *that* post as some of us did, great. You likely don’t have to be on hyper alert for this kind of content, but we see it all the time, everywhere. The casual downplaying of COVID and the flippancy about its risks are things we are all too familiar with, and tone policing marginalized folks when we get upset about harmful content is not the move. Listen to us, learn from us, be in solidarity with us. It may seem counterintuitive to you to care about these things in what many of us may see as just a place to escape and have a little fun, but respect is the backbone of kink spaces and we’d all fare well if we could remember that.
This was longer than I planned on it being, oops. I also blocked some people so I don’t even know who will see this but just wanted to add my piece. Love y’all bbs, stay safe ❤️
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Mahabharata AU—Fem!Arjuna AU pt.1
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The day for the Dyut Sabha had almost neared. Only a day was left.
Raaj Maata Kunti was feeling tensed for some unknown reason. She had the feeling of something ominous happening the following day. 'Why is my heart feeling like this? It never does...' she thought. Sighing, Kunti went outside of her kaksh for some fresh air, but Angaraj Karna was passing by at that same time. Kunti tensed, and turned to opposite way. She walked anywhere but towards her first-born.
Kunti then encountered Maharani Gandhari, who sensed Kunti's tension immediately. "Kunti, are you alright, my dear?" Kunti startled out of her thoughts. Unable to hide her secret anymore, she vented out to Gandhari about Karna's birth and her regret, as well as the ominous feeling she was getting. Between all of the talking, Kunti had started crying bitterly.
Gandhari consoled her sister-in-law. "Oh dear, it was not your fault. You were a child back then. You did this all in innocence and let your child go because of your family's respect. Now, i think we should tell him about his birth. Come, dear."
Kunti agreed and they both went to Karna. "Putra Karna..." she called out to him. Karna smiled at her. He didn't know why, but he always felt calm when in the presence of the Raaj Maata. Kunti sighed for the last time and and blurted out all about his birth yet again.....
.
Karna didn't know what to think or feel...the Pandavas were his siblings...? No...this can't be...
"Putra Karna...i am so sorry for doing this to you! Please forgive me! I join my hands before you..." she said, sobbing. The sun too had started shining brightly when Karna was told the truth, bestowing him with the brilliance of a million diamonds, claiming him as his own. Karna had snapped his head back when Kunti said the last statement and he immediately lowered her hands. "No...i-it is alright, you didn't know..Maa..." Karna hesitated.
Kunti looked surprised at him addressing her as his mother, and held him in her arms, in her loving embrace. Karna didn't know what to do and wrapped his arms gently around his new-found mother, hesitantly. Gandhari, even though not being able to see anything, smiled at the union.
Kunti's worry for the following day had decreased, yet not completely.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The dyut sabha had started. Yudhishthir was constantly losing his wealth and land. When he lost everything except for his brothers, he betted on them. Yudhishthir lost his brothers and himself too. He decided to quit but then, "Samrat! You can bet on your wife now! If you win, you can get everything back!" Shakuni gave his oily grin, showing his black teeth, rolling the dice in his hands manically. Yudhishthir was about to say something when,
"Halt!" A shout came from the entrance. Everyone turned their heads to see who it was, and saw the dusky warrior princess of Indraprastha, walking gracefully, taking angry steps, her clothes' extended parts bellowing behind and around her.
Soldiers attempted to stop Savyasachi, yet one glare was enough to make them shiver in fear.
"Jyesht! You cannot bet on Panchali! She is our common wife! Did any of our rest of the brothers give consent to it? And you can not bet on her when you have lost yourself in the game!" Arjuni spat angrily. She turned her head towards the rest of her brother and opened her mouth to say something when she heard. "I bet my sister then."
Arjuni snapped her head back towards Yudhishthir, giving him a betrayed, upset look, which was enough to make bow his head in shame and guilt. Arjuni started backing away, taking slow steps, almost hyperventilating. She couldn't belive or yet, comprehend what was happening....Dharmaraj, Yama putra, committing such grave adharma..? She wanted to scream her head off, but being the younger sister didn't help in her book of dharma.
As she was almost there by the exit gate of the Court, she heard manic laughs.
Her brothers never laughed like this...
Was she...?
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skunkes · 11 months
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eyedove · 6 months
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does anybody have tips on overcoming rejection sensitive dysphoria. it is so bad i cant even play games right because if the video game tells me i made a decision that was not even objectively wrong but non-optimal i freak out and close it and cant come back to it for days. this has always been an issue in my general life at large but good fuckin lord. im tired of feeling like this.
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fish-and-forbear · 1 year
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Really just hope things will be okay. I know they will be, I know I have always done all I could with the information and means I had but.
Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose.
Just need to learn to forgive myself and move on, with many many things
- Fisher
#just thinking about a lot of things#I think we all just need a nap#drank water ate half a sandwich got blankets and a dog and the queue is full of funny and nice and thoughtful things#finally made a doctors appointment for my heart rate#didnt entirely destroy beautiful friendships so thats REALLY good#just thinking about. other relationships too (all kinds) and how talking so much and believing when people say its ok but its not#really end up hurting everyone. even though i try so hard to not do that#i need to learn to forgive myself#for a lot of things#because i did all i could to fix so many things and sometimes the most healthy and gentle thing to do is. just to stop trying#damn. thats really depressing. :c#i need a nap. everyone feels quiet and rattled. we just need to sleep and reset I think#i just. hate that I cause people distress by being myself. everyone wants me to be myself but time and time again no one actually stays#when they see what I am.#that doesn't feel entirely true. its just mean neurotypicals who do that. or. people who simply need more space#and thats never their fault. EVER. i just wish people knew I mean it when I tell them I want to support their boundaries and won't be upset#if something is wrong I just want to know so we can fix it... or find a better solution#just. need to learn to stifle my emotions a bit more. I've always been emotional and loved so strongly and felt so deeply.#this is all a mix of... sound reasoning and... just the tiredness talking.#i should just sleep and see how the world fares tomorrow#i just hope the people i care about who need space... don't entirely regret me meeting them.#my dear friend here at home seemed upset at us tonight for some reason and wont respond to my message#i hope she isnt upset for real. i am terrified that... some of the behaviors Grist has will remind her of a Bad Time#Grist means so well. but he can't meet her yet. That breaks my heart.
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luveline · 2 months
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you can ignore me for the rest of time and I will still dutifully show up to read your work every day ~ can I request some angsty bombshell x spencer? maybe their first actual fight and spence snaps at her so bombshell r crying and locks herself in their room and he apologizes through the door but still sleeps on the couch and she comes and snuggles in the middle of the night and forgives him bc she can’t sleep? this is so self indulgent pls feel free to change anything you want love you jade
thank u for requesting! —spencer makes you cry. fem, 1k
Spencer can’t stand hearing you cry. He can’t believe he’s the one who caused it —he didn’t mean to, he just got so annoyed at you, everything’s difficult lately now you’ve moved in together permanently because you practically living at his apartment is apparently not the same as truly living with one another. 
He knows neither of you are unhappy living together, but you haven’t fought before, not like this. He stands just outside the bedroom door where you’ve sequestered yourself, ashamed of making you this upset. He doesn’t let himself in. “Y/N?” 
“Go away, Spencer,” you say. To your credit, you try to sound calmer than you are. 
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. Please don’t cry.” 
“Spencer,” you say, a line of anger darkening your words, “leave me alone.” 
He shouldn’t have said you were being lazy. You aren’t lazy, you’re tired. Moving in together has been really hard on you, even if you won’t admit it, or show it externally. He just wanted to say something mean, because you’d said you allowed him to have that ugly armchair in the living room and he got mad —it’s not ugly, and he wasn’t allowed, he’s a grown man. 
He just can’t feel angry about it anymore hearing your sad sniffling. He said something too mean, he took it too far, and maybe he was ‘allowed’. Moving in together is about compromise, and you’d compromised, and he’s punishing you for it. 
“I’m sorry, angel. I didn’t mean to make you cry, I– I was being mean and you didn’t deserve that. I’ll be out here if you… if you wanna talk to me,” he says, turning to leave with his head held low. 
He waits all night for you to come out, if it were just to drink some water or use the bathroom, but after a few minutes he can’t hear you crying, and you don’t make any sounds. He thinks he might hear you moving the sheets aside some time toward 10PM, but there’s nothing after that. He falls asleep on the couch, sulking, wishing he hadn’t been such an idiot. 
You let yourself out of your shared bedroom in the middle of the night. The sheets don’t smell enough like him, and you want to hold his hand, and you want to know he’s really not mad at you. That he doesn’t really think you’re lazy. 
Quiet, you walk downstairs and into the living room, where Spencer sleeps stretched out on the couch. It’s a big couch, meant for soft sitting, wide enough that, were you to set a baby down, they couldn’t roll off accidentally. Spencer’s on his side with his arm curled around one of the bigger pillows, brown strands of hair falling into his face.
He’s not a deep sleeper, but you can’t say you’re scared to wake him. You pull the pillow from his arms and sit on the couch beside him, working your way into his side, and encouraging his arm over yours. Gentle, you brush the mess of his hair from his eyes. He doesn’t even have a blanket.
You hold his sleeping face in your hands. His eyes twitch and scrunch tighter at your touching, worried, but you give a gentle, “Shh,” and he relaxes. His eyes smooth, then open, lashes struggling apart, the brown of his eyes dark as a roasted chestnut. 
He whispers your name, tongue heavy with sleep. 
“Mm,” you reply, tucking his hair behind his ears. 
“You okay?” he whispers. 
You press your face to his neck, letting yourself deflate as you wait for his arms to lock you in. It can’t be five seconds before he’s curling his arms around you carefully, kissing your hairline, the first bit of skin he can reach at this angle. He’s not quite awake yet, you know, can tell from countless times sleeping in his bed. If he were to fall back to sleep, he wouldn’t remember this tomorrow. 
“Can’t sleep,” you whisper.
“Oh,” he says, with all the tenderness of a pet name, dripping, palpable adoring, “want tea?” 
“Want you.” 
He strokes your shoulder. You’re the one being hugged, really, but Spencer’s grip gets so tight you worry he needs one. You wrap your arms behind him, close your eyes tight to stop from getting teary. 
“I don’t like fighting,” you say. 
“M’sorry.” 
“Do you want to kiss and make up?” 
He stills. “You’re not mad?” 
“You really upset me, Spence. N’ I bet you know that n’ feel bad enough already,” you mumble. 
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I was being childish.” 
You forgive him. Everybody’s allowed to be mean every once in a while. You’d been arguing, and you can feel now that he regrets it, his hands apprehensive but somehow loving still as they touch your back through the thin fabric of a t-shirt he’d bought you. The front has a silly graphic on it, some equation that spells out love. 
“It’s okay,” you whisper. “I’m not mad. I can’t sleep when you’re not next to me, so… Let’s not fight again.” 
“I don’t like it when you cry.” 
You shake your head gently, slotting yourself into all his nooks and crevices. Your legs tangled, the couch is an ample bed for two people trying to be as close to each other as humanly possible. You don’t like crying either, not over Spencer, not thinking he doesn’t see you in the light you’d thought he did. 
“Do you really think I’m lazy?” you ask. 
“No, I was being awful,” he says, sounding deeply repentant. 
Well, there’s no need to punish him, you decide, not when he’s beating himself up already. You cup the back of his head to tap your foreheads together, any aches and pains of the bed disappearing in the eye of his softness. He’s gaining confidence now you’ve touched his hair, his hands travelling low to the small of your back, your face once again pushed into the curve of his neck, where you stay. 
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monarchberrysblog · 2 months
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𝔩𝔢𝔱’𝔰 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔲𝔭
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18+ Miguel O’Hara x Fem! Reader
Summary: After arguing with Miguel over a touchy subject, you both come to a consensus.
Content Warning ⚠️: Soft! Dom! Miguel, Dacryphilia?, Praise (from Miguel), little nicknames (Mainly cariño and neña), and a little bit of Miguel being a complete munch. (if you don't know what that means, you're too young to read my content.) The reader is a pillow princess, overstimulation (nothing new), and unprotective P in V. (wrap it before you tap it). Miguel talks the reader through it, and Miguel cries. (I wish I were playing) (NOT PROOFREAD) (OOC MIGUEL)
Word Count: 3.1k+ words (holy shit…)
Author's Notes: Well, this occurred to me while soaking my hair in rice water 😭 But in all seriousness, here’s something sweet but smutty 😗😋 Hope you all enjoy it. If there are some plot holds, I'm sorry. I've been busy recently.
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To my girlies who have a praise kink, your secret is safe with Miguel. 💌
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It had been two weeks since you spoke to Miguel, let alone share a bed.
Miguel regretted that he yelled at you or how he compared you to Dana, his former lover. The truth was, you were far better than Dana. You were kind, patient, and understanding of his responsibilities as Spider-Man. He didn't know what came to him when he compared you, a literal angel, to one of the worst partners he'd dated beforehand.
You remained a pillar of support and unwavering patience throughout his double life. Despite the countless tasks, you never once complained. You were there to tend to his wounds at the odd night hours, offering comfort and care. During the frigid winter months in Nueva York, you never failed to have a warm and nourishing soup ready to soothe his ailing body. But now, asking him to come home soon was too much?
"Dana would never complain about me coming home late!"
"Well, I'm sorry that I'm not her!"
The same argument returned for the last few days until one instance ended it. It was the same argument managed, but he managed to end it—not as you expected.
"I should have never dated you! You are so demanding. Dana would never be like this." The second he finished, he covered his mouth with his hands quickly and backed away from you. He wanted to take back his words, but you didn't give him that advantage. Your silence felt suffocating to hear and to be around. But the sight of your lips quivering and your eyes at the brink of spilling tears. The urge to run to you and to beg for forgiveness rushed through his veins.
Before even having the opportunity, you are running away from him into your shared bedroom, like a small rabbit running away from its predator to seek shelter in a small hole in the ground.
As soon as Miguel laid eyes on the scene before him, his stomach turned, and he felt like he would be sick. It wasn't just that he had acted up—the complete lack of remorse he felt at that moment truly frightened him. Meanwhile, seeing you trying to hold back tears made the situation unbearable. But when he heard you weeping in your bedroom, the guilt he felt just got magnified.
/
The sound of thunder boomed throughout the apartment complex. Usually, this made you want to grab a soft blanket and snuggle in Miguel's arms. However, the events that led to this said otherwise. He was out in Nueva York while you were bedridden. The sensation of your pillow against your cheek buried away the melancholy and the tears that your poor pillow always caught whenever you got upset.
The now old Victorian complex now creaks and settles down every other occasion. The sound of a muffled evangelical leader seeped through the thin walls, despite the number of complaints Miguel had told the older man to turn it down. But now? The preaching from the frustrated man drowns out your sorrows as thunder continues to rumble throughout the complex.
The window sliding open greets you, snapping you out of the evangelical preacher's words. Veering over your shoulder, you see your boyfriend, Miguel, crawling back into the apartment, closing the old window, preventing the downpour from creeping in and soaking the red oak floors. The sight of him changing into his sweats and undershirt was enough to make you blush, but you ignored your instincts. The simple 'hey' he greets you made you toss and turn on the bed, ignoring him.
Your heart skipped a beat as you heard the words "Cariño, por favor" uttered from behind you. Your mind was racing, and you wondered whether to turn around and face him. The temptation to forgive and forget lingered in your heart for a week, but what he had said had left an unforgettable mark. The hurt and pain were too much to ignore, and you knew deep down that it was time to move on—even though you were too adamant for your good.
A small sigh of defeat fills the mere pregnant pause in the air as the bed creaks under the added weight on the bed before settling down. The blankets bunched around your chest and near your chin comforted you despite the smell of it being your favorite fabric softener combined with his scent. "C'mere…" He groans, grabbing you by the waist and pulling you into a spooning position. A loud whine from you wasn't the response he was expecting. He expected a giggle when he did so, but an adverse reaction said otherwise.
"Please don't be upset, cariño. I didn't mean what I said about, well—" Miguel suddenly stops. There is no other way around it. He messed up big time, and can see the hurt in your eyes.
You weren't Dana, something that Miguel always took for granted—the memory of having to deal with someone so parasitic, like a brain-eating amoeba, was emotionally draining. Even thinking about it is enough to make anyone tired. The emotional unavailability was the thing that got to him when it came to her, knowing that she wasn't waiting for him and cared about herself instead. The artificial bullshit was the only thing she desired, such as the dates and the gifts, not the emotional side of things, such as aftercare.
"What I said, it was true. You're not like Dana," A pause filled the space as you waited for him to continue. "You're not her, and it's something I adore." The simple kiss to your temple made you liquefy in his arms, but you remained silent, giving the silent treatment. "And I'm sorry about what I said; it was something I said in the heat of the moment." A nuzzle to the pillow was the only response he received, along with the low rumble of thunder.
As his lips touched your temple, a wave of gentle affection washed over you. The kisses continued to rain down softly, dotting your forehead, cheeks, and finally, your lips, like a fluttering of delicate butterfly wings. A tiny grumble left from you, not wanting to cave into his little kisses and advances that you ever so adored dearly.
The harassment of sweet kisses ended after ten minutes, and you turned your body to face Miguel. "…hey."
"Hey, cariño…" He hums, sneaking a kiss to your lips, which you allow. "…hey." You repeated, not knowing what else to say. "Hi." Miguel chuckled from the back of his throat and planted another kiss on the forehead. You stayed silent for the longest time until you looked up at him from where you rested your head on his chest. "I'm sorry too—" Miguel covered your mouth with his hand, nearly covering your entire face. "No, don't apologize. This argument was all my fault." He pulled his hand away from your lips, and a subtle sigh left.
"I shouldn't have exploded over one little thing. You rarely ask for me to come home a little sooner." His fingers combed through your hair, occasionally fixing some knots. "It shows that you care; you want me to be at home, safe and warm…" The pitter-patter of rain continued to play a steady tempo like a metronome at an adagio, not too fast, yet a bit slow. "I'm sorry for giving a poor excuse for blowing my anger at you. It was… stupid." He breathes out. "I had no reason."
You hummed and nuzzled closer to him. "I forgive you…" You mumbled, soon curling up to him for his warmth. "I should have known that asking for you to come home sooner is a bit too much—" You were cut off once again with a kiss on your lips, muffling your words. After you stopped and returned the kiss, Miguel pulled away after a moment and ruffled your hair.
"No, cariño. None of this is your fault. The blame is all on me." He rubbed the back of your head with his hand, lightly massaging the nape of your neck with his thumb. A small chuckle escaped from him. Seeing your messy hair makes him smile at the sight you gave him. Usually, you would throw a fit about how you looked, especially when the two of you went out. But now, you seemed loosened up and mellow.
He embraced you tightly, nuzzling into your neck as soon as you returned it. "I missed you so much… I don't like being mad at you," you muttered, slowly rubbing your fingertips against the nape of his neck. Then you started playing with his hair. A small smile formed on your lips as you felt his soft waves against the pads of your fingers. "Even with your suit, your hair is always soft. It never fails to surprise me."
Miguel only gave you a chuckle before pulling you to rest on his body and planting a long kiss on your lips, which you happily reciprocated. The soft, supple kisses soon evolved into something hungry and messy. The soft caress around your waist soon became handsy and coping with a feeling of being on one another. "I missed you, nena…" He mumbles in between kisses.
His kisses moved from your lips, leaving a small trail from your neck to your collarbone and, finally, on your plush lower stomach. “Nena… let me, please…” With a rush, you nodded, rubbing your thighs together slowly. "Here, let's help you out…" Usually, the man would rip your underwear off, but this time, he held back. He patted your hips lovingly, gesturing for you to raise your hips. "Raise your hips for me." You obeyed immediately, soon squirming out of your underwear and helping Miguel.
His arms hooked around your thighs, dragging your upper half down onto the mattress and having your pussy close to Miguel's lips. "Look at that, that kiss got you all wet…" Before complaining that you could feel his breath against your sensitive clit, Miguel indulged himself, devouring you slowly and slurping any remnants of your arousal. "My god, you taste so good…" He shuddered in between your folds and soon probed his tongue at your entrance. The light flicks from the wet, active muscles tease you enough for you to grasp onto the duvet underneath you and moan deep from your throat. "Oh fuck, fuck me with it…"
Hum is the only response you accumulate as you feel the wet tongue slowly tease your fluttering hole and soon feel Miguel lightly push his tongue at your fluttering hole. A small, needy moan filled the space while the wet muscle made you arch your back against the mattress. "Fuck, I want it inside…" You urgently whine.
"What do you want, cariño? Use your words, m'kay?" He muttered, slowly pulling away from your pussy and taking the time to savor you.
"I want it…"
"You want what? Please tell me what you want." He cooed to you and rubbed his thumbs against your thighs. The light breathing against your clit and entrance didn't help your case. Your high was making it nearly impossible to get on top of him and to take regime.
"I want your cock… please."
After a few moments of your demands and feeling his soft breathing against your pussy, he slowly slid you back down onto the bed, laying you down on the bed gently. "C'mere…" Miguel whispers sweetly before he gently holds you close and slowly rubs his aching length against your folds. The sensation of the fabric of his sweats rubbing against your bare skin was enough for you to moan at the feeling. "Wait, this feels…" He paused and looked down at you. "Are we okay? I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." You could hear the sheer panic in his voice, but you only nodded, giving him the green light.
Reaching down, your hands worked quickly, and you pulled on his sweats and boxers. A low groan emits from Miguel, feeling his dick get freed from the restrictive clothing. "You wanna hump on my cock like a good girl?" He mumbles out heavily, slowly lowering himself and allowing his length to rub in between your folds slowly. "Oh god, slowly. Slowly, cariño…" He urgently breathes out, slowly letting his bulbous tip rub against your clit. The burning yet slippery sensation slowly builds up. The slow, sensual rubs are enough for more arousal to build up, making it feel like a slippery slide thanks to your arousal and Miguel's precum. "Mierda…"
"Do you want me to fuck you, and do you want my babies?"
You nodded immediately, squirming in underneath him on the mattress.
"C'mon, grab it and slide it in. You know how to do it."
It had been weeks since you'd had sex with Miguel, especially since the argument about Dana; it almost had been a month without any intimate contact. You slowly reached for his cock and lightly tapped his tip against your entrance, a little nervous about how it would be a tight fit. "Miguel?" You slowly whined, still holding onto his aching cock. "Do you need any help?" He hums, slowly getting himself comfortable. "It's been a while…"
He nods before he grabs his cock and helps you slowly push himself in. "Shit!" He suddenly hisses out, barely letting his tip inside of you while you claw at his arms and groan. "You are tight…" You looked down and saw that your poor partner barely kept it together. "Give me a moment, nena…" He murmurs out quietly, slowly thrusting his tip at your entrance.
"Just the tip?" You sweetly suggested, looking down again, seeing how desperately he wanted his length to disappear by simply slowly pumping into you. "Maybe… Just the tip…" Miguel nods, slowly letting his tip probe at your entrance.
/
The sounds of labored breathing and moans filled the apartment, drowning out the evangelical preacher from next door, along with the angry bangs from the other neighbors. "I want you…" You breathed out, slowly feeling him sink in his length until his happy trail brushed against your clit. "Then you can have me. I'm yours to do as you please." His voice was like warm molasses, a sweet honey running down with sweet venom.
Another shout from the older man next door causes Miguel to roll his eyes as he slowly thrusts into you, allowing his mushroom tip to brush against your cervix. "Shut up!" Miguel yelled out to the angry neighbor and returned his focus to you. "Can we go a little faster?" You meekly suggested while slowly moving on his length. "Ay, cariño…"
The sensation of his length twitching inside of you is enough to have the man nearly cave in and thrust into your fluttering walls to end the slow overstimulation on his tip. "Easy, easy…" He breathed out weakly, slowly grasping onto your hips. His talons digging into your flesh felt like tiny needles lightly prickling at your thumb while sewing. "You're a little tight, and it's been a hot minute." His breathy groan filled the space immediately, slowly moving in and out of your fluttering hole. Not listening to his demands, you began to move your hips down and slid with ease, allowing your arousal to cream on his length. "Let's piss the neighbor off."
It was a sick, twisted fantasy to anger your neighbors, especially with the fact that y'all had thin walls in the time-old apartment that could drive anyone crazy. Mainly because the older neighbors around y'all are rowdy and complain about every little noise you or Miguel produced, most the sound of a blender or even if some music played a little too loud to their liking. But to you and him, it was time to get back at them and be as noisy as possible.
His pace was languid yet deep, taking his time while letting out low, rough grunts. “You're doing well, cariño.” You respond weakly by letting out a mewl and only let your fluttering wall convey the message more. “I'm trying…” You whined, bringing him to your embrace. “Can you go a little faster?” You plead, feeling the slow, delicious burn from his girth. “You sure? I don't want to hurt you.” He nuzzled close to your neck, leaving tiny kisses.
“I can handle it.” You pant, slowly sink yourself into him, pushing yourself down on him. The veins running down his length brushed against your clit deliciously, with a loud mewl filling in the apartment. “Please, please, please.” You plead out loud. “I'm on birth control, please.”
“I want you to—” One quick thrust ended your words. A sudden scream of pleasure filled the space, feeling Miguel’s merciless tempo. “Oh fuck! Yes! Keep it at that!” You demanded while being underneath him. “Baby, I'm a little—”
The wanton moans filled the space while the banging of the neighbor on your apartment walls made this nothing but filthy. “Shut up!” Your hoarse demands filled the space while you banged your fist against the wall. His unrelenting tempo continued, feeling that burn you ever so missed desperately.
The wet, squelching noise made the scene more lewd for Miguel, along with your shared bed creaking underneath the two of you, barely holding on with whatever strength it could conjure up. You are underneath him while he can feel your arousal coat his length along with his precum. The pace felt nothing but filthy and desperate. The feeling of tiny water droplets landed on your cheeks, causing you to wipe them off before you look up and see your partner, your usual aloof, stoic partner, shedding tears before you. The rough pace continued as you clawed at his back, leaving faint, red marks before you felt your rippling finish come to you and embraced Miguel tightly. “Please, I'm close…”
With one single thrust, you felt him twitch inside you before putting his heavy load in you.
“You okay?” You peeped out to him while feeling him slowly slide out and wiping away his tears. “Yes, I'm fine. Just overstimulated myself a little.” Slowly, he pulls out, earning a tiny groan from you and immediately pulls you into a warm embrace. “I didn't hurt you, did I?” You shook your head no, taking in shallow breaths. “No, I'm okay. Just a little sore.” You mumble quietly. Little sore was an understatement…
“C’mere…” He pants out, pulls you into a warm embrace, and plants soft, lazy kisses on your temple and cheeks. “You did so good…” The lazy, slow presses of his body against you felt like a weighted blanket, along with his chest heaving against yours. His hands roamed your body, allowing his fingers to trace light patterns and memorize you. “What do you want for dinner, cariño? Do you want me to prepare you something or do you want that one pizza you like on Main Street?” He murmurs from your shoulder, not wanting to get off of you. An incomprehensive mumble is the only thing that responds to him.
“Pizza it is, then.”
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murdrdocs · 6 months
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coriolanus seems like the type of person to solve problems by fucking, fr. you’re mad at him? he’s gonna fuck you. no matter the circumstance.
god he so is
those nights when you’re stressed, pulling at your hair until it stands up awkwardly and frustratedly attempting to smooth it out to no avail. no matter what is is you’re stressed about, he pushes it out of your mind by pressing his lips to yours. and if you attempt to move away from him, he’s quick to slip a hand between your legs to prevent you from focusing on your previous thoughts.
if you’re even a little bit upset with him, he tries to sweet talk his way out. it doesn’t work, of course. you’re always one to stand up to him, one to never back down, and it’s why he’s obsessed with you. so that really leaves nothing else but for him to drop to his knees before you, yet not for you. he wants to get back on your good side, because he needs you by his side, but even as his mouth is pleasuring you he’s still too good to beg for forgiveness.
sex is practically the only conflict resolution he’s good at. he’s not good at talking things out, quick to get upset and spew out layered hateful rhetoric to you instead of calmly listening to your side. but he’s good at pushing his cock in and out of your walls in a slow drag that slowly melts away any annoyance from your mind, instead replacing your red-hued thoughts of his face with nothing but comforting white. the color of snow.
and luckily, his efforts extend to those times when you’re sad, possibly the worst of them all. coriolanus can handle frustration. he can handle you being upset with him. but seeing your eyes well up with tears and hearing you huff out ragged breaths makes him uncomfortable. it makes his chest tinge with something slightly different from physical pain and somehow worse.
his soothing words don’t work as well as he wants. you’re always too in your head. so he only knows to press his forehead against yours and slip a hand between your legs, pushing two fingers up into your slightly reluctant walls until your tears are either drying, or being produced with a completely different drive behind them.
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son1c · 11 months
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so, the thing about the megaflora in boscage is that, even though it’s incredibly strong, it’s not particularly smart. they’re plants after all, and so their “thoughts” mainly just consist of violence in service to obtaining food, and violence for the sake of violence. that changes when shadow shows up though.
through their shared black arms dna, the plants are able to connect with him, and they start poking around inside his brain. they see all his thoughts, all his memories, learn what he learns, know what he knows… and suddenly, the megaflora is extremely smart. smart enough to realize that having a mobile unit, not tethered to roots, and with a mouth that can speak for the collective, would be beneficial. so they smother shadow into submission. there’s just too many of them to hold back, once they decide they want him.
once he’s assimilated, they continue to learn more from him, and one thing in particular stands out: the creation of their world. through the eyes of shadow’s memory, they see sonic shatter the paradox prism, and thus, create boscage maze, and therefore the megaflora themselves. this leads the megaflora to the conclusion that their true creator is not gerald, the loathsome traitor who abandoned them, left them to starve, and now seeks to destroy them with project halcyon, but instead sonic.
the megaflora get a sort of reverence for him… “shadow” tells sonic that he forgives him for shattering the prism. tells him it was a good thing, actually. and that’s when sonic starts to clue into something being seriously wrong. frankly, he liked it more when shadow was upset with him... because at least that was really him :(
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viennakarma · 5 months
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Say something (I'm giving up on you)
Lewis Hamilton x Reader
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Summary: Your husband tells you the truth about Vegas, and it makes your perfect sandcastle crumble.
Word count: 6k
Tags: Female reader, established relationship, wife reader, reader is an architect, cheating, smut, mild somnophilia, mentions of pregnancy and children, very very angsty, no hea, not beta read
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton x Reader
Notes: To be honest, this is very personal and something I needed to get off my chest before going back to my WIPs lol. Sorry if it's rushed or something, I was just going with the flow. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx
Find me on Twitter!
Ending 1: moving on
Ending 2: forgiving
Ending 3: a secret third thing (blurb)
As soon as you got out of the shower, a robe on your body and a towel around your head, you noticed how Lewis was sitting there, looking somewhat defeated.
“Hey, I know this season wasn’t what you expected but I’m sure it will get better,” you muttered, noticing how he was down, you stood between his legs, holding his head, pushing his braids away from his face, “I’m hoping you’ll have a great car next year. I’ll put the kettle on, so we can drink a little tea.”
He didn’t answer as you pecked his lips and went downstairs. You had just turned the kettle on when Lewis came down too, stopping in the middle of the kitchen.
“I need to tell you something,” he started and you paused, waiting, “something happened in Vegas.”
You felt your heart accelerate, you didn’t like that tone, so instead of asking more, you just waited, holding your breath.
“I cheated.”
It’s like you were punched in the gut, and you gasped for air. Your eyes immediately teared up, but you held in, waiting for his next words. You held yourself up with both hands on the kitchen island, because your legs felt like they might just give in. You stared at him, numb. Waiting for it to be some sick and unfunny joke, but the guilt in his eyes was so real.
“It happened in Vegas, and it didn’t mean anything at all, and I’m so so sorry, I know I should never have done it, and I regret it. I love you so much, I never wanted to hurt you, please believe me, I’ll do anything for your forgiveness, whatever you want just say th-”
At that point you stopped listening, looking down at your hand sprawled on the countertop, the wedding band and the engagement ring you wore on top of it felt like they were burning, like a curse just about to ruin your perfect life.
Like a beautiful sandcastle crumbling under a big wave, your perfect life came crashing down, with a couple of words and one single decision that never came from you. Your plans, your dreams, your future that always had Lewis beside you now were turning to dust. And it hurt like fucking hell, like you were under the wreckage, something heavy compressing your chest leaving you to die an agonizing death.
Lewis walked up to you, trying to take your hand but you moved out of his reach, taking a step back.
“Please, just say something. Anything. Please, love. Scream at me, hit me, key my car, anything. Please, say something,” He begged you, and all you could feel was pain, a knot in your stomach as you walked away, numbly going back to your room, locking the door behind you because you could hear him coming after you.
You held your head, this feeling of despair gnawing your insides, and you pulled the wedding band and engagement ring out, leaving it at the bedside table. Your tears came down and you looked at the bed were you had made love on the night before, were you had fucked his brains out just because you wanted him to feel better, after being upset with how the season ended. He hid this information for more than a week, because you had been in Abu Dhabi with him for moral support. Crying, you pull off the bed sheets, leaving them on the floor when the knot in your stomach makes you too nauseous. Running to the bathroom, you puke your disgust away, crying and dry heaving after there was nothing left in your stomach.
You were going to leave your job next year because you two were planning to try for kids. You were going to dedicate yourself to finally writing your book. You were going to join him the whole season, to never leave his side, to go wherever he went. You were going to buy a place in his hometown too, to be close to his family whenever you two had the time. You had planned to have a baby in England, because of Lewis.
How after five years together, after two years of marriage you had crafted your life around his. How you’d drop everything to make him happy, because his happiness made you happy. He knew cheating was your only and strongest dealbreaker, you had told him countless times during your relationship, you had reminded him before the wedding too, and he had said he would never be interested in anyone else.
You pulled a towel from under the sink and sobbed into it. You could still hear his voice outside, muffled by the door. Going back to bed, you put your wedding band back again, staring at it as a token of your happiest years.
You cried yourself to sleep.
The next morning you woke up and did your morning routine in pain. It was like you had to live feeling the pulsating pain of a broken bone. As you opened the door, Lewis was sleeping on the hallway floor by the door. Avoiding him, you went to the kitchen, but you didn’t have the energy to cook anything, so you grabbed the key of one of his cars and left for a coffee shop.
Everything felt like an out of body experience, like you were in automatic mode, going with the flow, buying a muffin and a tea because that’s what you did every time. Greeting the waitress with a small smile, like always. The only difference was going back to the car instead of eating inside the cafe, and eating there, pushing food inside so you could have some resemblance of normalcy. Your phone had been ringing for the past thirty minutes non stop, the ringtone you had put specifically for him, the song you had your first dance in your wedding. You think about that Lewis, that man who would never do anything that could hurt you. The one with dreams and promises, the man who would say he wanted kids with you, the one who always had a description of the kids you would have. She’ll have your eyes and my hair, he would say, daydreaming, hopefully she’ll have your beautiful smile, Lew, you would add.
Driving around for a while, your phone on Do not disturb, you watched the streets of Monaco, bustling with people, locals and tourists, walking around, going to boutiques and cafés, and you noticed how Monaco had never been your first choice to live in. You would rather a place a little bit colder, with lots of libraries and historical places, with mountains and lakes.
You went back home hours later, and as soon as you got inside, you were faced with Lewis, pale and visibly worried, phone in hand.
“Oh my god, I was so worried! I thought- I thought you had left me- Where were you?”
“Driving” you kicked your shoes and went to the kitchen to drink water. After downing two full glasses, you went outside, sitting by the view of the city.
You painfully loved him, the kind of love you once were happy to let yourself dive in, and now you were drowning.
“Please, can we talk about it?” He asked, by the balcony door as if he were afraid to scare you away like a skittish animal. You nodded, and he carefully sat on the chair beside you. “Can we work on it? Do you think you may have it in your heart to forgive me?”
“I don’t know, Lewis, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.”
“We can do marriage counseling, we can do anything you want, we can- we can move, buy another place, we can adopt a kitten, like you’ve always wanted, or we can renew our vows, I can gi-give you a pass, so we’ll be even-”
“I honestly don’t know how to fix this, Lewis. I’m not sure it’s even fixable.”
You two stared into the horizon, lost in thoughts.
“Give me a chance, and I’ll fix it, love. I’ll do everything in my power to fix it.”
“Tell me what happened,” you commanded, not looking at him.
“Love, please, don’t do this.”
“You want to fix this, right? Then start by telling me the whole truth.”
And he did. He told you who was, Kate-something, an influencer who had been a fling of his from the past, before you. They had met unexpectedly during the Vegas Grand Prix, she had been invited by some other team. He told you almost everything, leaving out details about the sex, but he told you everything else, and you listened, unmoved, only the tears falling down nonstop.
The next couple of days consisted of Lewis buying you things, food, jewelry, clothes and planning a trip for after the holidays. You slept in your room, and Lewis slept in the guest room, giving you space, to whenever you were comfortable to share a bed with him again. You had every meal together, sometimes he cooked, sometimes he had it delivered. You tried to engage in conversation, but in the end, Lewis was doing most of the talking. Chatting about news of his friends, about his team, about the plans for the trip.
As you sat in the office, you opened a drawer and picked up your resignation letter. You had left it written to hand it when you got back from the holidays. The letter was brief, thanking everyone for the opportunity to work at their company, thanking your boss for all the lessons and explaining you were leaving to become a homemaker. You scoffed at it now, ripping the letter in half and throwing it in the trash.
Maybe you needed to take a step back from everything. The plans and the dreams and the future. Maybe you just needed to give him a chance, you loved him so much, and this kind of love doesn’t go away with a snap of the fingers.
Maybe he was right and if you two started all over, maybe you could fix this.
“I know it might be too soon, but would you consider going on a date? Just like the old times,” he asked one morning a few days later, as you ate breakfast.
“Sure, Lewis.”
He nodded, and you knew he was feeling the way you didn’t call him love or honey anymore. He planned a date that same night. You dressed up to the nines, just to feel some normalcy, just to feel like yourself again. You had dressed in a black long sleeved dress, with some transparency in the sleeves, a black scarpin and you tied your hair in an elegant high ponytail and those bright red lipsticks Lewis liked.
He looked at you in wonder as you came down the stairs.
“You look stunning, my love.” He whispered, taking your hand and making you spin. You felt that spark in your stomach again, well, a little bit of that.
He took you to a two star restaurant, one you’d always go on date nights. He also drove you there in your favorite Mercedes. You decided to put in the effort, to make conversation, to engage with him the whole night. You ate, talked, laughed and drank a couple of wine glasses.
By the end of the night, you had felt a resemblance of normalcy again. When Lewis was picking the tab, you went to the toilet, and you saw a woman trying to change a baby’s diaper. She dropped the box of wet wipes, and you bent down to pick it.
“Thank you, lovely!” She said as you handed it back. You peeked at the baby, a little girl who couldn’t be older than a year.
“Hi there, princess!” You said with a baby voice.
“Can you keep an eye on her just as I pee quickly, I’m sorry to bother,” the mother asked.
“Don’t worry,” you said, carrying the baby she had just finished changing. As the woman entered the stall, you decided to ask, “How has it been, being a mom?”
“Oh, it’s amazing. Of course it’s not easy, but my husband has been a great help around the house and the baby. I couldn’t be happier!”
You looked to the mirror, the baby in your arms, and you imagined living this with Lewis. And you just couldn’t. Because he wouldn’t be there all the time anyway. He would be traveling the world, racing for his championship, you would follow him, but at some point you would have to stop, you would have to settle home the last trimester, and he wouldn’t be there. Would he miss your baby’s birth?
You wondered if he would cheat again when you weren’t there.
As you left the toilet, your mood had dwindled again.
Lewis noticed as you were quiet going home, head against the window, watching the city and mumbling the song playing in the car.
As you arrived home, you pushed Lewis against the sofa, he looked confused, but his eyes followed your hands as you pulled your dress up, bunching it around your hips so you could straddle his lap.
“Baby, I don’t think w-” he started talking, but you held his chin.
“Shut the fuck up,” you said, pressing your lips against his.
You kissed him like you were starved, showing him how much you missed him, how much you loved him. He let you guide the kiss, opening your mouth and entangling your tongues, your hips grinding on him. He whispered nonsense as he kissed your face and neck, I missed you so much, love, nibbling at your neck, I love you my baby, pulling your dress down to free your tits, sucking on your nipples, missed this, baby, you’re so fucking sexy, you ground on him, moving and moaning as his hand held your ass, guiding your movements. You were so wet, you missed his touch so much.
As you looked down, seeing his lips latched onto your nipple, your mind drifted, wondering if he touched the other woman like this, if he talked dirty to her like that.
And you were immediately turned off.
“Stop, stop,” you pushed him and he let you go easily, scrambling to the sofa and away from his lap, “red, red!” You shouted your safe word.
Breathless, Lewis nodded, as you quickly pulled the cups of your dress up, covering your boobs and pulled your dress down, eyes watering. He stared at you, confused and not knowing how to act. You two were very creative in the bedroom, but you only used the safe word a few times whenever you two were in the mood for some BDSM scenes, you had never used your safe word in a normal setting.
“Are you ok?” He asked, finally and you just shook your head.
“Was she better than me?” You asked, voice small and vulnerable.
“What? Baby, no, never! You’re my everything.” He sat by your side, but you stood up in wobbly legs, nervous.
You wanted to ask why, if you were enough, if you were everything, then why he felt the need to do it. Why would he throw away so many years, such a beautiful love story that you used to joke you would tell your grandkids about.
You started walking away, but Lewis ran up to you and blocked your path.
“Please, let’s talk it out,” He asked, eyes pleading. You stared at his lips, and something inside you just snapped.
“I don’t want to talk! FUCK!” You pushed past him, “I look at you and I can only picture you with her! I feel your hands on my body and I hate it because I can only think of you touching her, and kissing her and fucking making love to her! Look at us! Look at everything you ruined because you just couldn’t not get your dick wet! Because you couldn’t wait five fucking days for me!”
You tried not to sob, running a hand over your face.
“And you were perfect and I love you, and I hate myself for loving you because I don’t trust you! I keep thinking that if one day I miss the flight to your race, will you cheat again? If- if I have to work and you suddenly feel lonely, will you cheat again? If we fight for some reason, will you cheat again?”
“We can fix this, we go to counseling or-
“FIX WHAT? I didn’t break anything! Because I love you so much that the idea of lying with another man disgusts me! You broke my heart, our home and our future!”
He was crying too when you looked at him.
You took the keys to his car and slipped away, driving around, trying to clear your head. Deep down you wished you could forgive and forget, you wished you could get over that mistake, but now everything around the house reminds you of his mistake.
You lost control of the car and crashed against a tree. It wasn’t a big crash, even though the hood of the car looked totalled. You called someone to take the destroyed car away, and you took an Uber to the hospital, just to make sure you didn’t hit your head too hard. In the hospital, they put a bandaid on the small cut and you held an ice pack above the swelling in the side of your forehead, they also gave you a few pills for the pain and possible headache.
You went back home hours later, and Lewis was waiting by the living room.
“Where were-” he stopped short, seeing the small cut on your forehead, “oh, god, what happened?”
“I crashed your car, I’m sorry. It wasn’t a big deal, I’m ok,” you walked into the kitchen to take one of the pills for the incoming headache.
“What? Why didn’t you call me?” Lewis followed you.
“It wasn’t a big deal,” you repeated calmly.
“Are you kidding me? You’re bleeding!”
“I’m not, it was just a small piece of glass that grated my forehead, but I’m ok, it doesn’t really hurt,” you muttered, wanting to go to sleep, “I’m sorry about your car, I’ll pay to get it fixed.”
“I don’t give a fuck about the car! I’m worried about you!” He came closer, holding your face with both hands, looking around for any more injuries.
You stared at his face, his eyes that had been such a source of happiness and unconditional love were now painful to see. Handsome still, but you couldn’t see him as yours anymore. You took his hands off you gently.
“I’m ok. I’ll pay for your car.” You reinforced, taking a step back.
“Our car, love. You’re my wife. And you don’t have to pay for it.” He corrected you, but you couldn’t feel anything.
Because the car was his. All the cars were his. The house was his, too. The dog was his. The properties. Everything belonged to him. You belonged to him the whole time. And now you just didn’t anymore.
You had signed a prenup before the wedding, which had been an idea that came from Lewis’ lawyer. Your husband had been angrily against it, but you didn’t mind signing it, because it was never about the money. Even upset signing the prenup, Lewis still took all of your expenses, bills, house and cars, and everything else. There was a cheating clause on that document, one you never bothered to read or memorize because cheating was never on your mind.
A couple of days later you had barely said a word to him, and you were having breakfast when he approached you.
“I’ll call mum later, to tell her we’re not going to her birthday dinner,” Lewis informed you.
“No, we’re going. We’re not going to spoil her celebration because of our problems,” you shook your head.
So you went to dinner at his mom’s. Everyone was there and you brought her a gold necklace with a peony pendant, since it was her favorite flower. You and Lewis tried to pretend nothing was wrong as to not ruin the mood of the night. You still sat by his side, ate and talked with everyone. Lewis knew you were faking being ok, because your smiles didn’t reach your eyes anymore, and every time he tried any physical touch like holding hands, putting a hand on your shoulder or pulling you to his lap, your body would tense up, so he would let go of you.
By then end of the night, you were pretty sure everyone had believed your act, but when Carmen asked for help with taking her presents upstairs, you knew she knew too.
“What is going on, love? You’re not your usual self today.”
You felt your eyes filling up and you couldn’t hold back the tears anymore. You adored Carmen, you adored Lewis’ family, his siblings, his parents and his nephews and nieces. But Carmen had become a second mum to you from the beginning, being the first person to welcome you with open arms.
“Talk to me, dear,” she asked and the kindness in her voice made you cry even more, sobbing so much she had to hug you holding you tight.
“This is probably the last time we’ll see each other as family, Carmen,” you warned her, and her face crumbled just like yours did.
“No… No, honey, what happened?” She asked, and you shook your head.
“You talk to him later, and I’m sure he will tell you whenever he’s ready,” you muttered, not wanting to meddle in a mother-son relationship, not wanting to poison it. You pulled the engagement ring from your finger, the beautiful engraved jewel, that had belonged to Carmen's family for generations, had ended up with you, and you had expected to pass it down to a kid you’d have with Lewis. You gave the ring back to her.
“For when he finds the one.”
“No, you’re the one for him, honey,” she exclaimed, teary eyed.
“I wish I was, but I’m not,” you stared longingly at the ring sitting on the palm of her hand.
“One day he will need it again, and he will find someone and you’ll love her just as much. I’ll be just the distant past, but I hope you save a little space in your heart for me, yeah?” You laughed a little bit, wiping the tears on your cheeks. She only nodded, her own tears falling down. “Thank you for taking me in all these years, for embracing me into your family, I’m very grateful for that.”
You two cried a little more, and you tried to mask your crying face after a few minutes in the bathroom.
In the end, unfortunately, Lewis' family convinced you to stay the night since it would be a long drive back to Lewis’ place in London. You ended up sharing a bed for the first time since he admitted to cheating. You laid there with your back turned to him in the dark.
You couldn’t sleep for a couple of hours, but he did. When you turned back around, you stared at his beautiful face. Your dreamy, handsome husband. You softly traced imaginary lines in his face, tracing his eyebrows and nose, the tip of your finger running over his lips and cupids’ bow. How could you love someone so deeply and still not want to be with them? How could you not just put everything behind?
He knew you so well, he knew of you past of being cheated on, of going through abusive relationships. He knew where you draw the lines. He knew your limitations and still went ahead with cheating on you.
You got up from the bed, you went to the small armchair, opening your iPad to try and watch a movie or something to help you sleep. But as you unlocked it, the tab open was the project you had made for the family home you and Lewis were going to build for when you had kids. The finished project hit you like a punch in the gut.
You went inside the bathroom and took a break. It was the middle of the night, and everyone was asleep, so you just sat on the closed toilet to try and calm down the aching pain in your chest. When you came back, Lewis was awake going through your iPad you had left unlocked.
“What’s- What’s this?”
“It’s the project for our home, I was going to gift it to you on your birthday,” you whispered, sitting by his side on the floor, your backs to the bed.
Lewis sniffled, and you didn’t look at his face because you didn’t want to see him cry. He kept looking at the project, going page after page, seeing all the details you had thoughtfully put there. He started crying even harder when he saw the nurseries you had designed. When he saw the tennis court, because you and him loved playing with his dad, and talked countless times about teaching your kids to play. When Lewis saw the big kitchen with the panel wall where you could place pictures and drawings and notes. When he saw the sunroom, with toys and your small library, and Lewis’ videogames. All the tidbits you and him had dreamed about during your five years relationship.
“We can’t let this all go, love” he said between soft cries.
“God, I hate metaphors,” you whispered, drying the tears that came down, “but we’re a broken mirror, Lewis. We can try and fix it, and glue all the pieces back together, but the cracks will still be there.”
“I don't know how I messed up this badly, I don’t even know why-” he set the iPad down, staring at his hands, “I’m so sorry, so so sorry.”
You only nodded, getting up. You went back to bed, laying under the covers.
“I know,” you whispered after a few minutes. He came back to bed too, laying beside you without touching you.
“The project is beautiful. I love it.” He muttered staring at the ceiling.
“I do too.”
When you left his mom’s house, with a tight goodbye hug with Carmen, Lewis had to go to Brackley for work and you went back to Monaco. 
You thought you may have a chance to fix everything. But as the days he was away passed, you started to wonder if he went to England to really work. If he wasn’t going to meet someone, the Kate-something, or any other of his flings from the past. If he even was in Brackley as he said he was.
The trust was gone.
As if it wasn’t bad enough as it was, the lady, Kate-something texted you. You had no idea how she got your number, and the text read:
“Ask your husband what he did after the Las Vegas GP.”
You scoffed, thinking she was a little late for a shocking revelation. You screenshotted the text just in case and blocked her number after, without bothering to let Lewis know about it.
You were one foot out of the door already.
The dreaded day came when you met with a lawyer, a big shot famous lawyer who always worked with famous people when they wanted a low profile divorce. She was very respectful of all your wishes, though with the small fortune you were going to pay for her services, being polite and helpful was the least she could do. She drafted a divorce agreement following all your requirements, especially in regards to the prenup.
The next few days, you read and reread the divorce papers, leaving them in the locked drawer in your office.
When Lewis came back from the Mercedes factory, it was night and you were having a glass of wine by the balcony.
“Want a nightcap?” You offered your glass to him. He nodded, taking a sip off the half full glass, “how was work?”
He told you about all the work in the factory, going to dinner with his teammate and meeting with his boss. It was almost like before, for a few minutes it was just a regular day in your married life. Lewis helped you put everything away in the kitchen and you went upstairs.
When he was about to go into the guest room, you stopped him.
“Lewis,” you asked and he looked at you hopefully, “can you sleep with me tonight?”
“Whatever you want, love.”
So you settled in for sleep, both of you going through your nightly routine, and finally, laying in bed. You took the initiative to cuddle him, nose against his neck, inhaling his scent and your ear above his heart.
You slept great for the first time since you were in separate beds. But you woke up in the middle of the night. And the way the little lampshade by the bedside table lit up the side of his face, peacefully asleep, handsome and yours. Fully yours still.
You couldn’t help the small kiss on his chest, above his heart, the other kiss on his cheek, and a third one on his neck, that had him waking up.
“Baby?” Lewis looked at you. You kissed his lips, open mouthed, sloppy and desperate.
“Shh,” you kissed his chest again, now he was fully awake, surrendered under your touch. You straddled him, your body missing him so much, his touch and his love, and the twilight making everything feel like before, you couldn’t help but desire him with burning passion.
“Love,” he stopped you, holding your jaw softly, “are you sure?”
“Please, just be mine tonight, yeah?” You asked him in a small voice.
“I’m yours forever, love.”
And so you drowned in him, one last time. You tossed your pajamas away, as he sat up in the bed, kissing your neck down, biting softly at your nipples, taking it painfully slow just in case you changed your mind. You ground against him, his cock hard under your ministrations. You pulled his pants down, and he kicked it to the floor, as you slid your cunt over his length, dripping over him, moaning loud and hearing his groans as his hands settled on your hips, letting you take control, doing whatever you wanted.
You got on your knees just so you could line him up at your entrance, pushing down slowly, letting him stretch you well, your body accommodating him perfectly like it should always be. And so you started riding him, slowly at first, but then you pounded him into the mattress, fucking him into oblivion. His hands were all around, pinching your nipples, gripping your waist and slapping your ass the way he knew drove you crazy. He fingered your clit, making you cum around his cock shamelessly fast, hips shaking and cunt gripping him tight.
“Can- oh, fuck,” he asked after a particularly hard clench of your dripping cunt, “-Can you give me one more, my baby?”
Then, he changed positions, laying you by his side, hugging you with one arm and using the other to lift your leg so he could have room to fuck you slow, lazy and nice, pressing your g-spot again and again. He smothered your lips with his tongue and teeth, stealing your moans, as your hands pressed his body into yours. You wanted to melt into him, to leave fingerprints and nail marks all over him. You wanted him to have a permanent indentation of your body pressed to his.
Selfishly, you wanted him to never forget you. To be a part of him in the forever he promised you. Even if you won’t be there.
“Look at me,” he asked, and you opened your eyes to meet his dark molten embers so full of love that it threatened to suffocate you, “you’re the only woman for me. You’re my everything.”
He picked up the pace a little, going harder, until he had you gushing around him, making a mess of your sheets and milking him until he was groaning, hips stuttering into release.
“Fuck, baby, you’re so good. Feel so good for me,” he murmured into the dark, “I love you so so much.”
You two hugged back to sleep.
In the morning you showered, brushed your teeth and changed. You stopped in the middle of the room, staring at Lewis’ sleeping form. In the closet you packed a bag, putting clothes and shoes on it, then you grabbed your iPad, laptop and work stuff, then you called a taxi and waited.
You left the divorce agreement on the kitchen island, alongside your wedding band, your lawyer’s contact information and a small note. You were crying as you got into the taxi, leaving behind the future plans you had hoped to live.
It took you a couple of months to get your shit together. You spent Christmas with your family only for the first time in years, and you didn’t travel for New Year’s Eve with Lewis as planned, you didn’t resign from your job, instead opting for a relocation so you could move away.
Finding a new place in Scotland was relatively easy considering you had a good amount of savings because Lewis always paid all the bills, you found a place where you could dedicate yourself to work and to write your book and to heal.
Lewis found the house empty that next morning. You had made love to him again, and he thought that maybe you two could salvage the marriage. But as he looked for you around the house, he found the divorce agreement in the kitchen. His stomach dropped as he held your wedding band, and the other hand found your note.
“Seems like I’m a coward too, since I can’t face you to say goodbye. Take this divorce agreement to your lawyer, and any questions you might have, please forward it to my lawyer, she’ll explain everything. I love you, but I don’t trust you. And nothing good can be built in a trustless marriage. The next time you find a good one, don’t break her heart.”
He cried like a baby, going over your divorce agreement that was signed by you. You had given up everything, you didn’t want anything of his, not any cars or property, not any financial support, not even the house that had your name on it too. You voided the prenup, stating that you didn’t want the alimony that came with the cheating clause. Looked like a clean break, like you didn’t want anything that could tie you to Lewis.
He tried calling you and texting you, but seemed like you had blocked him on everything. He went through the motions, meeting with your lawyer who, despite the fame of being tough, was really kind to him. He told your lawyer that he wanted you to take the alimony that came with the cheating clause because it was only fair, and he wouldn’t sign the divorce if you didn’t accept the money.
So after a few weeks, Lewis' lawyer got in contact to tell him you accepted the money, as long as he would sign the divorce as soon as possible. By the New Year, you were officially a divorced couple.
You got settled on your new home by the end of the first month of the year, three weeks after the divorce was finalized. You moved to a little north of Edinburgh, not too far from the city, but far enough that you could have some sense of peace and privacy.
You still had a tan line on your ring finger of the left hand.
You only realized your period was late the week later, as you were doing grocery shopping and house supplies, and you noticed you haven’t got your period for a while. Despite being a grown woman, worker and independent, you felt shaky fingers as you took a pharmacy test.
While you waited, you stayed in front of the mirror. You had felt a bit of nausea, but you attributed it to stress and disgust, and you had been feeling tired but you thought it was because of the moving and all the paperwork. You ran your palm over your stomach, trying to feel something, but it felt so normal.
When the time’s up and you leaned over the sink to check the result, you sighed reading the 8 - 10 weeks pregnant.
“That’s ok, baby,” you whispered, teary eyed, “we’re gonna be ok.”
Ending 1: moving on
Ending 2: forgiving
Ending 3: a secret third thing (blurb)
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seongclb · 11 months
Text
— enhypen reaction to you being upset when they cheat on you in a dream !
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bf!enha x gn!reader, fluff & humour, established relationship au, mentions of cheating & nightmares.
req. by anon! pls let me know if u like it :3
n. @woon2u u might be a bit delulu but i’m def delulu 4U
♫ phases by chase atlantic.
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𖠗 이희승 | lee heeseung.
would probably be dead asleep when you whack him awake
“y/n, what is going on??” he slurs in his sleep
“YOU TELL ME???”
his eyes shoot wide open and he jumps to sit up, but still remaining groggy while he tries to think of what he’s done
“is this bc i ate ur cookie bc i said i would get you one tomorrow” he whines
you hit him with a pillow and he whelps
“i’ll get you two???” he says, and dodges your next hit
“you cheated on me.” you say and he looks at you with disgust
“oh shush,” he says, pulling you back to bed
he obviously wins against your attempts to push him away and traps you in his warm, snug embrace
he speaks softly with his hands tracing shapes on your arms, “why would i need to cheat when i have everything i’ve ever wanted right here with me?”
judging by the amount of kisses you place on his face, he can tell he’s done a good job at shooing away your concerns for the night.
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𖠗 박종성 | park jongseong.
now, you’re the only one he’ll allow to disrupt his sleep
but.. this reason
he would just let out the biggest sigh before consoling you bc even though he’s tired as heck, you’re his love and he can’t afford for you to be bothered by something
“what’s up, love?” he’d ask while stroking your back
“i had a nightmare.”
he would immediately comfort you and question what it’s about, if you’re comfortable with saying
“you cheated on me”
oh gosh he has to fight the urge to roll his eyes
“i would never do such a thing, i love you far too much”
indeed he does since he’s willing to comfort you over his sleep and just in case the thought actually does bother you, he’ll be extra affectionate and loving to you as a reminder that he’s all yours
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𖠗 심재윤 | sim jaeyun.
you’d have to literally first pry his clinging body off of yours and then shake him awake
“whattt”
he has the audacity to be grumpy, you think
“sim jaeyun.”
“uh oh” he sits up and rubs his eyes. “whatever it is, i’m sorry and i love you.”
“you think that’s enough for me to forgive you for CHEATING???”
he’s like wth and laughs
“babe, what are you even sayinggg? stop being so silly i’d never do that to you,” just kisses your forehead repeatedly
just forces you back to sleep against his chest and tomorrow if you’re still sad, he’ll make it up to you
but rn, man is too sleepy so he’ll show his reassurance in sleepy kisses and whispers of affection
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𖠗 박성훈 | park sunghoon.
probably feels you jolt awake which is what wakes him up
“babe, are you okay?” while getting the glass of water for you just in case
“when were you going to tell me?” you whisper
“tell you what…” man is so confused like you just woke up from bed didn’t you???
“that you’ve been cheating on me.”
he’ll roll his eyes now
“and what evidence of this do you have, my love?” sunghoon would literally look at you with no expression
“i saw it.”
“where?”
you pause, “inmydreams”
“i didn’t quite catch that, y/n”
“in my dreams” you say.
he just sighs and pulls you in his embrace
“aigooo you’re so dramatic sometimes what will i do with you” but when he sees the pout fall even lower in your lips
he just kisses it away
“don’t let these silly dreams put things into your brain, i would never do that to you, i love you the most in the world.” he’ll make fun of you another day
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𖠗 김선우 | kim sunoo.
another one who would have to be shook awake
would be so sassy straight away too
“what is so important that you had to wake me up at 2:48 am for ???”
“you cheated on me in my dream,” you pout.
now he pouts
immediately becomes more concerned
i just feel like sunoo would be more understanding that this is more than a silly dream
“awww, my love,” would first try calming you down if you’re too upset but would then just pat your head
“as if theres anyone better than you to cheat with anyway! nobody compares seriously,” he reassures
after you’re calm he probably focuses on making you laugh and comfortably going back to sleep
would hate for you to sleep with something so horrid on your mind
ur his other half why would he ever want to cheat???
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𖠗 양정원 | yang jungwon.
your movements would wake him up
initial reaction is to check up on you
“y/n, are you okay?”
“jungwon would you ever cheat on me”
he’d first look at you like you have two heads
but becomes softer when he sees your eyes
“of course not!! you’re the only one i want; you’re just so perfect for me, babe”
he’d say a million things to show why he would never cheat
“the thought of being with someone else disgusts me, honestly.”
oh man and if you giggle
he’ll be like mission accomplished
that’s just his sign that you’re okay now
so all is good and you’re back off to sleep
does keep an eye on you for a few days just in case
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𖠗 西村力 | nishimura riki
he’s a young, growing lad who needs his sleep
so when he wakes up to you frantically waking him up
hes a mix of grumpy and concerned
“what’s wrong?” while getting up to look at you
“i had a dream that you cheated on me.”
literally can’t take you seriously but is too tired to react
“a dream? y/n what the heck,” he says.
he’ll frown when he sees you’re serious
cups your cheeks in his hands
“you don’t have to worry about something like that, i love you and even if one day we don’t love each other anymore i would never cheat”
smiles at you with so much love
“now can we go back to sleep, i’m so tired”
he’ll treat you to ice cream tomorrow though :)
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babyleostuff · 5 months
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SAYING SOMETHING THEY DIDN'T MEAN IN A FIGHT | VOCAL UNIT
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𐙚  YOON JEONGHAN 
his pettiness and stubbornness would make every fight 100x worse, and no matter how many times he’d promise himself that he’d be more understanding and try to look at the situation from your point of view, he’d end up saying something he didn’t mean just to make you more annoyed, not realising how much his words hurt you.
you couldn’t look at him, not when he treated you like you were nothing, and didn’t seem remorseful even in the slightest. “i never thought i'd hear something like that from you,” you said, your voice filled with disappointment rather than anger. you wanted to yell at him, hit him, scream out how much his words hurt you, but you weren’t sure if he’d care even if you did all of that. 
jeonghan, on the other hand, felt like throwing up the second he heard the door close after you quickly left the house. he didn’t mean to be rude to you, he didn’t even realise that the fight you were having was a serious one - otherwise he’d never say something like that. his stomach twisted with agony as he recalled your broken expression and tears filling your eyes. “what have i done?’
it would take some time for things to get back as they were, for you to forgive him completely, but that wouldn’t discourage jeonghan. he would make sure to show you how much he cared about you and how sorry he was, through any action that he could - even if it meant he had to do something out of his comfort zone or something he usually wasn’t as fond of.
𐙚  HONG JOSHUA 
to make joshua say something he didn’t mean, especially to you, is like… nearly impossible. no matter what situation you’d be in, whether it’d be a small argument or a big fight (those were rare too), he’d always watch what he was saying, because he knew how quickly things could escalate and you both could end up hurt and upset by something that could be prevented. he wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he said something mean you.
“darling, let’s just…,” joshua sighed, running his hand through his hair, pulling at them slightly. “let’s take a break ’kay?”
you hadn’t realised how angry you got at each other, when your little argument over your chores escalated to a proper fight that was so unnecessary, but because both of you were too tired to think clearly, neither of you did anything to stop it. 
until now. 
“yeah, i think that’s a good idea,” you nodded at your boyfriend, smiling at him weakly. fighting always took a toll on you, you hated being angry at each other, but at least joshua stopped the whole situation before any of you said something you didn’t mean. he cupped your face and pecked your forehead, before leaving you alone in your bedroom. 
some time later you emerged from the bedroom, your hair in a mess from your nap, just to be met with joshua standing behind the counter surrounded by what looked like all of your favourite dishes. “let’s eat, and then we’ll talk,” he smiled at you, reaching over the counter to intertwine his fingers with yours, before placing a peck on your palm.
𐙚  LEE JIHOON 
he is way too mature and composed to say something he doesn’t mind, but that being said, not every argument could be resolved easily and calmly. a lot of the times fights between you happened when you found him in his studio for the fifth night in a row, with your boyfriend looking like he hadn’t slept for a month. arguments about his well-being were always heated, and sometimes woozi didn’t think what he was saying and how it would affect you.
“i just care about you, is that so hard to understand?” 
you stood in the middle of jihoon’s studio, surrounded by endless pizza and take-out boxes, and empty cans of his favourite drinks laying everywhere. comeback seasons were always the worst and you knew he had to work, but that didn’t mean he had to pull an all-nighter for the fourth time that week.  
“and you being mean to me won’t make me any less worried, it just makes you look like an even bigger dick that doesn’t appreciate his partner being worried sick.”
you didn't say anything else, just put the food you brought him on his desk and left the studio, slamming the door behind you.
jihoon couldn't remember the last time he got more than an hour of sleep, and he knew that his messed up sleep schedule was a shitty excuse for how he treated you, but if he wasn’t so exhausted he’d never even think of the things he just said to you. his hands itched to grab your waist, and make you stay and beg for your forgiveness, but he was too ashamed to even look at you.  
that night, though, instead of returning to his apartment, he went straight to your place. he knew you were awake but he didn't want to dwell on your fight right now, so he just laid down next to you. jihoon thought he was going to cry with joy when he felt you move closer to him.
𐙚  LEE SEOKMIN
you’d quarrel and have like those everyday silly fights, arguing over who’s going to drink from the blue mug that morning, but that was the furthest a fight would go between you two, and if he ever said anything remotely mean or upsetting, he’d be begging on his knees for forgiveness in an instant, that’s not even up for discussion - that man cherishes you and your well being way too much to spend his time on fighting.
you looked at each other with horror upon hearing the words that just left your boyfriend's mouth. the day hasn’t really started yet, it was way too early for you to be up, but you wanted to make some food for seokmin before he went to work. one thing led to another, and now you ended up in a fight. 
“i did not just say that,” he whispered, his eyes wide.
“you did, seokmin,” you said, crossing your arms over your chest. you weren’t sure how you were even supposed to feel now - never have you heard such mean words leave his mouth, ever, and the fact that the first time it happened, they were targeted at you?  
“baby, baby focus and listen to me,” seokmin said, his voice panicked, as he held your face in his hands. “i have no idea what had just happened, but i did not mean what i just said, i don’t know why i even thought of it.” 
“seokmin, you have to go, or you’ll be late for practi-,” 
“no, i’m not going anywhere before you forgive me,” he looked at you with big eyes, as he tried to figure out how you were feeling. 
you had no other way but to forgive him, or he’d be late and seugcheol would kill him if he found out why he was late. seokmin made sure to show you just how sorry he was by not letting you go for the next week, repeating how much he loved you until you had to tell him to shut up. 
𐙚  BOO SEUNGKWAN
another petty one that would be bad at controlling his anger during an argument. fighting with him would be a bit pointless, because he’d insist that he’s the only one that’s right, which could lead him to saying something he actually didn’t mean. even though seungkwan would feel so bad after, he wouldn’t stop you from leaving, he’d feel too ashamed to say anything in the moment, because how could he be so mean to someone who he loves so dearly?
“i…,” seungkwan stuttered, looking down, too ashamed to look at your face. 
“for someone who always has a lot to say you’re oddly quiet now,” you said, and even though he couldn’t see your face, the tone of your voice told him how angry and disappointed in him you were. 
seungkwan wanted to kick himself for being so goddamn stubborn - instead of taking a break like you proposed, he continued to argue with you, making the situation so much worse and ending up saying some horrible things. 
he opened and closed his mouth, but what was he even supposed to say? he didn’t want to make any excuses for himself, and there were no words that would express how sorry he was. “great job, seungkwan,” you said, before he heard the door slam shut, and he was left alone in your apartment. 
he didn’t even realise when he had started crying, tears slowly rolling down his cheeks, but he didn’t want to feel sorry for himself, not when he just acted like a dick to the person he loves the most - the one and only he should always protect and make happy. 
seungkwan ended up falling asleep on the couch, he couldn’t sleep in your bed without you there, he knew he’d just start crying again. it’d take some time for you to forgive him completely, but you wouldn’t be too harsh on him seeing how emotionally exhausted he was, besides, you knew he didn’t truly mean what he said.
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alwaysshallow · 6 months
Note
hey babes, for the drabbles in the inbox post all I can think of is price with a breeding kink so upset he's "too old to give you a baby" only for him to end up with a wife pregnant with their 2nd baby
Fifth time, sixteenth test, and he's fuming. He doesn't even look at you, and you feel bad, when he's pacing back and forth around the house, deeply in his thoughts. Normally, you'd try to hug him, like the last times, but somehow, you can't do it now. There's something wrong with his mind, and you just can sense that, even if he's not telling you anything; being with him prepared you enough for moments like these. He's a captain, the head of the team, usually stressing about things himself.
"John, could you finally talk to me?" you ask after another ten minutes, when enough is enough; he suddenly turns around in your direction, like he finally acknowledges that you're here. Apologetic look on his face makes your heart break even more.
"'m sorry, missus." He's quick to sit next to you on the couch, kissing your hand a few times, with hope you're gonna forgive him for ignoring you.
It's what he usually does, and it always breaks your facade, but now you're not mad. Rather, confused, but you don't talk about it with him, when he smiles into your lips and drapes a blanket over you. You two just cuddle on the couch, watching some ridiculously old documentary about war, when he decides to pop the question.
"Why aren't you with someone younger?"
To say you are shocked, would be an understatement; completely bamboozled, you look at Price, your eyebrow cocked. "The fuck are you on?"
He sighs, as he looks down at you; it feels like he doesn't want to fight, but he genuinely asks, which makes you feel weird even more. "Simple question."
You prop yourself up a little, to take a better look at your husband. "Because I love you, and that's settled?"
"Someone younger would give you a baby," he mutters under his breath, as his eyes are on the TV again. John's implication shoots right through you, like a bullet, sharp and hurtful, but not that much for you, as for him. You're quick to sit on his lap fully, to bring his attention to you.
"It's definitely not your fault, John. It might be as well something with me, you know?" you frown, your fingers tracing his bearded jawline, as he still doesn't look at you.
"I waited too long, and now there's the consequences of it." His tone is hard, like he didn't hear your explanation before, and he continues to blame himself for it. Your heart sinks. "'m failin' you, love. If I'd meet you earlier, it would be different. Or if you'd be with someone else, maybe he would give you kids."
"None of that," you say, grabbing his face, to make him look at you. He opens his mouth to say something, but you're quick to put a finger on his lips to shush him; he already told you enough to make you want to do a monologue on him. "We're gonna have kids, even if it will take years, do you hear me, John Price?"
"Affirmative," he replies, kissing you a few times. On lips, cheeks and nose – you learned that doing it this way soothes him. Makes him less nervous than he already is. "I wouldn't blame you, if you'd want to—"
You don't even try to talk to him this time; you just kiss him, interrupting his intrusive thoughts with hope that he'll focus on something else. It's not a surprise when he takes the bait, and he's quick to pick you up in his arms, while you just giggle, knowing that he takes you to bedroom.
Three years later, he's off at deployment, when you learn that you're pregnant again, with your second child. 9 weeks, your gynecologist says, when you look at the scan, thinking how happy you are right now. Tears pricks in the corners of your eyes when you're in your car, taking deep breaths before you'll call your husband.
A lot of thoughts are going inside your head; should you tell him now? He's on the mission, probably doing important things, maybe he doesn't want to be interrupted? Yet, it is an important thing, something that he waited to hear for the longest time, having doubts if he's ever gonna be a father— and now, he's about to be a father for the second time.
"Love, are you okay?"
You blink twice, when you hear him through you phone; you don't even know when you called. "Yeah, baby. I'm okay, why?"
"Been askin' you how's your day, and you tell me nothin'. Got me worried for a second," he laughs, and for some reason, his laugh completely calms you. Before, you were a little scared to even call him, interrupt whatever he was doing.
Now? Now, you're more than excited to tell him the news, since you have time, and your firstborn is with his grandma.
"I'm okay. I promise," you reply warmly, smiling to yourself, as you take a peek at your stomach. You don't have a bump yet, but you smile nonetheless at the thought that, if everything will go well, in following months you're gonna have a bump. "Are you busy?"
"Just got back to base. Will be there for a while," he hums. "What is it, missus?"
"You should sit."
"…everything's alright, yes?"
"Yes, but you should sit. And, turn the camera on, please?"
He doesn't even question your request; in a minute, you see his face – happy and confused in the same time, while you grin the widest you possibly can. You felt joy this big back when you were just a kid, getting your Christmas gift.
And, now you're the one who delievers the gift.
"You're in the car? Thought you're gonna be home," he speaks up, and you have to hold back a laugh.
"I had to see a doctor, and—"
"—you had to see a doctor? You told me you're okay, love. Is it our little man? Baby, I'm—"
"—I'm pregnant, John." Words fall from your mouth.
"What?"
"I'm pregnant," you laugh, as you show him the ultrasound on camera, the closest you can. "Nine weeks. I'm back from my gyn, that's the doctor I needed to see."
"You're not pulling my leg, are you, love?" he asks, and when you shake your head with excitement, he laughs. He laughs so happily, and he even stands up for a few moments before sitting again. "A week, and 'm gonna be back. Is it okay?"
"A week?" you raise your eyebrow. "You're supposed to be another two weeks on the mission, and—"
"—I'd like to spend it with my wife, and my two babies, alright? A week won't harm anyone," he whispers lovingly, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "We have to talk about so many things."
And the fact you had to try so many times for the first baby, is just a faded memory.
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yanderestarangel · 6 months
Text
♡ 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐛𝐢 𝐡𝐚𝐧 ♡
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TW: smut, praise, pet names, angst, ftm reader, pussy worship, v!sex, afab anatomy, handjob, cum play, husband x husband, fingering, overstimulation.
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He was never an easy man and you knew that, living and being married to Bi Han was a test of patience sometimes, however, you never expected him to say such rude words to you in a fit of anger, but that time even you couldn't escape his fury.
He said horrible things to you, making you paralyze with shock, he saw the shit he had done when he saw you cry and left the house sobbing, he punched and broke everything he saw in front of him after he saw the what he had done, hurt the only person who still loved him despite everything... You.
You came back days later, as you saw the movement he had made to look for you - he literally put the entire Lin Kuei clan to look for you - He grabbed your arm tightly, worry and anger, anger at himself for making you upset.
"-You could be in danger!" His voice rose in intensity as he pulled you closer to him. "-Never do that again! I don't care how mad I make you, I never want you to leave without telling me." He let go of your arm and took a step back, looking into your eyes with a mixture of anger and genuine concern.
"-Now come here..." He ordered, reaching out to pull you into a rough hug. "-I need to make sure you're okay." The smell of his cologne mixed with the musky scent of his sweat filled your nostrils as he held you tightly against his chest. You could feel the heat radiating from his body as he held you tight. Despite his volatile temper, there was something comforting about being held by Bi Han, something that made you feel safe even when he scared you. He guided you to the shower, seeing that you were avoiding looking at his face, obviously upset with everything he had said - he searched your body, looking for any bruises, whispering apologies for everything, but he knew that your forgiveness and trust would only come with time. - the grand master gave you one of his shirts, it was too big on your small body compared to him, he missed you, he would have to work hard for you and your relationship. You laid down on the bed, trying to ignore him as much as possible... but you both knew it wouldn't be for long. Bi Han couldn't help but feel a sense of despair. He knew he needed to prove to you that he was willing to change, to treat you with the respect and dignity you deserved.
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Slowly, Bi Han approached you, gently kissing your neck as he reached his hand under your blouse to gently caress your breasts. "-I love you..." he whispered, his voice full of longing and regret.
You could feel his hard cock pressing into your ass, and even though you were still upset with him, there was a part of you that craved his touch. And then, you let out a soft sigh, allowing yourself to melt into his embrace.
His hand moved down your hip, slipping under the loose shirt you wore to cup your bare ass, he squeezed gently, his breath warm against your neck as he kissed you softly. "-My baby boy, you know how much I want you." His fingers slid down, teasing the edge of your pussy lips as he moved closer to you. "-You're so wet for me..." he tracing the folds of your sex with the tip of his finger. "-Do you want me to make you cum? Are you ready to be my husband again?"
You moaned at his touch, but agreed, however, that you had a pillow during the act, hugging and covering your face, not wanting to look at him yet - a physical barrier to show how upset you still were with him -
Bi Han chuckled softly as you spoke, understanding your desire to avoid eye contact. "-As you wish, my angel." Slowly, Bi Han began to thrust into you, his cock sliding in and out of your wet pussy with ease. His moans filled the air, muffled by the soft fabric as he fucked you. You were more than just his husband, you were everything to him and he would do anything to make sure you were happy.
He knew that what had happened before had been a mistake and he was determined to prove to you that he valued and respected you above all else. You moaned softly into the pillow, your body responding to his touch despite your anger - You could feel every inch of him inside you, stretching out as the pleasure built inside you -
"-Feel my cock inside your little pussy, you are my beautiful boy, I promise I will never treat you like that again baby... I swear, losing you is something unbearable and unthinkable for me." His hands roamed your body, caressing your hips and stomach as he moved inside you. He could feel the tension in your body beginning to dissipate, replaced by waves of pleasure. As he fucked you, Bi Han transferred some of his own energy to his cock, making it pulse inside you, your fingers digging into the pillow as Bi Han continued to thrust.
"-Fuuck, boy... Your pussy is so tight..." Bi Han moaned hoarsely, as the sound of his heavy balls could be heard by you, as well as felt, beating rhythmically with the thrusts of his dick in your uterus. "-Let go... let me make you come."
You felt your orgasm getting closer and closer, with each thrust and praise coming from Bi Han's lips, but the anger still existed in you, so you protested slightly between moans in the air, telling him not to cum inside your hole, moist like he was used to doing so often. "-I won't." Bi Han promised, his voice filled with frustration. He knew that you were still upset and he didn't want to make things worse by cumming inside you. Instead, he focused on making you come, using his body to bring you pleasure, but the feeling of your tight pussy around his cock was driving him crazy.
Finally, you cried out, your body shaking as waves of pleasure washed over you. Bi Han felt your pussy contract around his cock, milking him hard, he had to use all his self control to simply not tear that stupid pillow you were hugging to cover your face and see your features with the purest pleasure because of from him.
"-Fuck darling... You feel so good..." He moaned, his breath cold against your neck as he continued to thrust his hips roughly into you, unable to resist the feeling of your tight pussy wrapping around his cock.
As he approached his own climax, Bi Han withdrew quickly, with a wet, erotic pop, spreading a thick stream of cum across your stomach and breasts as he stroked himself, moaning your name and biting his lower lip. Bi Han watched as you removed the pillow from your face, his gaze flickering to your chest, where a trail of cum was already beginning to drip down between your breasts. He couldn't help but smile at the sight, feeling a sense of pride and satisfaction as he continued to stroke his cock in front of you. Bi Han's eyes locked with his as he stroked his cock, watching as you watched him.
The sight of his body covered in his cum was arousing to him, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of satisfaction. "-You look beautiful like this... My beautiful boy, covered in my cum." His fingers traced the line of cum that had pooled around your pussy, spreading it even further before dipping into her wet folds.
"-Come for me one more time, boy... don't think you can just push me away forever. I love you so much, and I won't let our fight come between us." You were overstimulated, and Bi Han's thumb on your clit was overwhelming, you just let go of your inhibitions and pride, just moaning his name, you screamed, your eyes rolling back as you came hard around his fingers - with the force of your second orgasm in a row - He leaned in to kiss you softly, his gaze full of love and remorse as he whispered in your ear.
"-I don't expect you to forgive me now, but, I hope this shows how much I adore you and how much I want to make you happy." With that, Bi Han got out of bed, pulling up his pants and heading towards the door.
"-I need to go now, take care of clan matters, but I promise we'll talk more about this later. I want to make sure everything is okay between us." He stopped at the door, turning to look at you. "-Take care of yourself, my beautiful boy." Bi Han said softly before leaving the room, closing the door behind him.
As you lay there in the aftermath of your orgasm, you couldn't help but feel conflicted. On the one hand, you were still angry at Bi Han for his harsh words earlier. But on the other hand, he was your husband and you were his husband, which made you wonder if maybe things could be different between you. Only time would tell if Bi Han could truly change, but something gave you hope that he could.
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©𝐘𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 2023
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cupid3clipse · 4 months
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title : “you weren’t supposed to find out this way..”
warnings : none!!
luke castellan + reader
a/n : yes a sad imagine for my first post 😣
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you weren’t supposed to find out this way, luke had never planned for you to find out this way, to see him completely flip out on percy, to see him such a wreck. you were supposed to find out with him talking to you about it saying something among the lines of “i want you to join me.” but instead you found out is such a horrible heart wrecking way.
you were just following annabeth since clarisse (gf mentioned) had gone to her cabin which a few friends completely uninterested in celebrating percy who she envied, you heard a loud yell of pain with the sound of metal clashing looking at annabeth you two quickened your pace when you saw percy and luke fighting? you were confused until you heard Luke trying to convince percy to leave camp with him ‘why would luke want to leave camp??’ your thoughts consumed of the possibilities for answers but that was when luke raised his sword at percy and you knew you had to speak up and save him despite being lost for words your tounge almost incapable of moving you let out the name of the boy who had left you confused. “luke?”
it was barley audible but loud enough for both percy and luke to turn their heads to annabeth and you luke’s eyes had softened in realization the beings that meant so dearly to him bringing him back from his outburst. “annabeth..”
was the first thing he said before looking to see you the tears were brimmed in your eyes just like his (TWININGGG) his demeanor was changed from before when you found the two boys fighting “we heard everything.”
annabeth spoke her voice rough her tone so different from how she would normally use to the boy who practically raised her and cared for her, her older brother. lukes attention drew to you once again seeing the hurt expression
“sweetheart..” he let out stepping closer to you to which you backed up from him in fear as he reached his hand out to you. a tear escaped from his soft brown eyes realizing that his worst nightmare had come true. his girlfriend and his darling little sister were afraid of him, annabeth looked at you before going to percy helping him.
“you weren’t supposed to find out this way.” his voice breaking he wanted to come closer to you but stopped himself seeing how fearful you were without saying it he could just see it in your eyes, the way your beautiful eyes that he loved staring into had trailed over his face, orbs shaking he hated seeing you like that. he rarely ever did but when you were it hurt to see but this time was different from those other times, instead of you being afraid of the wars you were scared of him.
“i trusted you luke.” you let out and hearing those words it was like a punch in the gut he regretted not telling you sooner like he planned. “was everything you said a lie? is this relationship a lie? do you even love me?” hearing your heart broken voice shattered him to pieces he was disappointed in himself for making you doubt his love for you.
“no, no.. baby of course i love you i only ever lied to you about this i promise. i’m so sorry.” he cried only getting closer to you without realizing it. he had brought up a hand to your cheek running his thumb over the soft skin looking down at you he knew what he soon had to do and it pained him to leave like this he wanted to beg for you to come with him, beg for your forgiveness, beg for you to join him but it was no use seeing the fear and hurt in your eyes he knew he cut you too deep. he turned his attention from you to annabeth who was currently holding percy up his arm around around her waist luke took a deep breath.
“i love you.” he brought a soft kiss to your temple before he was gone, he ran off inside the portal he opened leaving you hurt and upset.
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a/n: i literally hate this but kinda love it, dk how to feel. i didn’t know how to end this so sorry if its bad but hope you enjoyed! and feel free to give feedback back !!
this scene broke me m still in shock, leah, walker and charlie acted SO WELL in this scene like rent was DUE
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