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#someone told me nice work op and i nearly cried
poscariastri · 6 months
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oscar piastri as silly cats. here u go
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bonus checo and max :3
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heavenlyhaechan · 3 years
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The Pursuit of Happiness
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Pairing: Ten x Gn!Reader 
Genre: strangers to friends to lovers au, fluff, a teensy tiny itty bitty basically nonexistent bit of angst, 
Word Count: 1.9k
Warnings: very brief mentions of stress, 
Rating: PG 
Note: happy birthday ten!!! 
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The day was bright and sunny, which inconveniently contradicted your mood. You wouldn’t have to be outside for long though you reminded yourself, just long enough to get a net of clementines from the co-op down the street. This small bit of happiness would have to be enough to hold you over until finals were finished and you could finally breathe again. 
The bell on the door jingled merrily, another offensive clash with your mood. You headed straight for the produce section, your eyes watching your feet as they moved you forward. You knew your way around this little shop so well you were sure you could find what you wanted with your eyes closed. 
When you saw the last net of clementines sitting on the old wood shelf, the blue of the net complimenting the bright orange fruit, your heart leaped. Well maybe not leaped, but certainly sat up a little straighter. Your hand reached for them, but just before your fingertips could brush the netted plastic it was being snatched away by a quicker shopper. 
Your heart sunk again as you looked up to meet the eyes of the clementine stealer. His dark bangs fell into his eyes and down his neck, and a mole stared at you from under his left eye. He looked a bit confused which only proceeded to aggravate the indignation now building in your chest. 
“Uhhh,” he began, eyes moving back and forth from you to the clementines in his hand. 
“I’ll pay you for them,” you interrupted him, hands rummaging in your pockets for your wallet. 
“No no it’s okay,” he shook his head emphatically. “You can just have them.” 
It was then that you were reminded of the way you’d left your residence, half asleep after a three-hour nap that had been proceeded by your third all-nighter this week. You were in the same clothes you’d been wearing yesterday, wrinkled no doubt, with circles that made you resemble a raccoon imprinted under your eyes. 
And yet if the sympathy of this stranger meant that you got your treasured clementines, then you couldn’t complain. 
“Okay,” you took them from him. “Thank you.” 
“Sure,” he nodded amicably. “Just know that you owe me.” 
——
“Wow, there’s a lot of people here,” you said to Yuta as you took your seats. Nearly every chair in the auditorium had already been taken and people were still filing in through the double doors that led to the lobby. 
“For good reason,” he told you as he leaned back in his seat. “They’re really good.” 
You had agreed to go with him to see his friend Sicheng and his dance company perform a while ago, so long that it had almost escaped your mind today. You supposed it was a good thing that Yuta never failed to give you countless reminders for everything in your life, from a project due to an event that you had promised to attend with him months ago. 
Just as you began to flip through the program in your lap the lights in the audience went down only to be replaced by a single spotlight. A man appeared from the side of the stage to announce the upcoming performance before disappearing backstage once more. 
The dark and silence that followed made you feel like the entire audience was holding their breath. Then the red velvet curtain parted and the show began. 
——
You clung to Yuta’s arm so as not to lose him in the crowd as you wove your way through the lobby to the door marked with a neon exit sign. He had agreed to meet Sicheng outside after the performance and so there you waited, hands stuffed in your pockets to ward off the winter chill. 
Soon enough a chattering group exited the building, their stage makeup looking comical under the light of the streetlamps. 
“Sicheng!” Yuta cried as his friend emerged from within their midst to greet him. You laughed to yourself at the modest and faintly embarrassed expression on his face as Yuta began to talk his ear off about the intricacies of the show you’d just watched. 
Leaning against the brick wall of the building you watched as people hugged each other goodbye, feeling oddly out of place. Then you were met with the sight of a familiar face with a familiar mole under the left eye. 
“I’m pretty sure you owe me,” he said as he leaned against the wall next to you. 
“Oh, you were serious?” 
“Of course.” 
You stared him down, waiting for him to waver. But he didn’t. Instead, he just smiled at you like you were an old friend, someone who he had shared tubs of popcorn with and borrowed a towel from after a summer day spent in the pool. 
You felt entrapped in his gaze, but it wasn’t an unpleasant feeling. His eyes were warm and comfortable like a rare spot of sun on the wood floor in winter. It wasn’t exactly a staring contest you were partaking in, but you still didn’t want to be the first to look away. 
“I don’t even know your name,” you finally conceded. 
“Ten,” he said simply, reaching out a hand to shake. 
You told him your name and he repeated it back to you, rolling the foreign syllables around on his tongue like they were peas fresh out of the pod. Your name, something so mundane after hearing it so many times, sounded fresh and beautiful coming from him. 
“So how about you buy me an ice cream cone to pay off your debt.” 
“It’s too cold for ice cream.” 
“It’s never too cold for ice cream,” he said cheekily before turning to say goodbye to his friends. 
You stepped forward as well to let Yuta know where you were going, and after an affirmation from Sicheng that Ten wasn’t a creep, he let you go with a promise that you’d text him when you got home. 
——
“So what’d you think of the performance?” Ten asked you before taking a bite of his green tea ice cream. 
You shuddered at the sight, gums cringing in phantom pain. He tilted his head like a cat would at your actions, and you quickly had to explain that it was aimed at him biting his ice cream, not at the performance. 
“It was amazing,” you said after the miscommunication had been cleared up. 
“Yeah?” 
“Mm.” 
Your mind drifted off for a moment as you relived the contents of the show you’d just watched. Some songs had been slow, strange, and hypnotizing. Others were much more upbeat, the energy in the room making you feel like you could fly up into the rafters of the grand auditorium. 
“What about me?” Ten asked, successfully jolting you from your fond remembering. 
“Huh?” 
“What do you think about me?” 
You smiled at the cheshire grin on his face, noticed the way his eyes twinkled with mischief. To yourself you thought, I think I’d like to see more of those eyes, but out loud you said: 
“I think I’d like to get to know you better.” 
——
Months passed and you did exactly that, got to know each other better. You learned that Ten actually hated fruit and that he had only wanted to buy the clementines for his roommate, the aforementioned Sicheng. You saw firsthand how hard he worked, how creativity ran through his veins in place of blood and leaked out of his pores in place of sweat. 
You quickly learned that he shared your affinity for coffee and so, since you only lived a few blocks away from each other, much of your time was spent haunting the local coffee shop. It was there that he told you of his home back in Thailand and of his family and friends there, as well as the story of how he started dancing. 
He talked a lot if you let him, but you didn’t mind. He was fascinating to listen to and to watch. Time and time again you found yourself sinking into the depths of his eyes as you listened, bathing in their warmth. 
He caught you doing just that a few times more than you’d like, laughing kindheartedly at your embarrassment before starting back up again where he had left off. He was always kind, even when he teased you for the purple butterfly sticker you bought to place over your laptop camera. 
“You watch too many crime movies,” he’d said before letting out an exaggerated yelp when you’d punched him in the arm. 
Tonight you were watching yet another crime movie on that same laptop, your blankets creating a nest for you to rest in. Ten sat next to you, his fingers braiding the loose strings on the side of one of those very blankets. Every now and then he would look up to watch you, barely remembering to pay any attention to the movie. 
Your brow creased as you focused on the crime detailed in the film, your eyes wide and reflecting the screen at him. Your shoulders were hunched in and for a moment he wondered whether it was from the cold. This made him realize how cold it was in your living room, despite all of the blankets, and so he slipped an arm around you until you were pulled up against his side and sharing his body heat. 
You jumped in response to his actions, almost crying out from surprise after being so engrossed in the movie before you. 
“Sorry, I thought you were cold,” he said quietly. 
“Oh. It’s okay,” you decided, not wanting to admit how comfortable he was and how nice he smelled. 
“Okay,” he said, moving his arm into a more comfortable position. You jumped again but for a different reason this time. 
“Sorry I-” he started to retract his arm. 
“No, it’s okay I just-” 
“Wait,” he cut you off, his trademark grin growing and filling you with anticipation. “Are you ticklish?” 
“No,” you said quickly, maybe too quickly. 
He let out a giggle and poked your side to test his theory. You jumped a third time, pushing him away in annoyance. But now he was laughing outright and you couldn’t help but laugh with him, any momentary exasperation disappearing as the golden sound poured out of your throats. 
The two of you sat there laughing for far too long and simultaneously not long enough, movie long forgotten. You hadn’t laughed like that since you were a kid, that exhilarating feeling where anything and everything is truly hysterical. 
Eventually, you lapsed from breathless giggles into giddy smiles. As Ten watched you, his heart still pounding like a drum in his chest, he had a rare moment of clarity. 
“I like you.” 
Once he came to the realization it wasn’t something he had to think about saying out loud. Why shouldn't you know? You were the only one that he cared to tell after all. 
“Like like?” you asked despite how childish you felt. 
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Like like.” 
Your lips parted in surprise at his words, eyelashes fluttering like butterfly wings. 
“You don’t have to say it back if you don’t want to,” he said matter of factly. “I told you so you’d know, not so you’d say it back.” 
The corners of your mouth turned up against your will as you stared down at your hands where they rested in your lap. You realized then how easily smiling came to you since you’d met him. How easily happiness came. You no longer had to convince yourself that your small pleasures and indulgences were happiness, for in the time since you’d met Ten you had simply begun to believe it. 
“I like you too.” 
“Really?” his eyes lit up as he looked at you, mouth curving into a newborn smile. 
“Really.” 
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k7l4d4 · 3 years
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Midnight Striga: Fairy Tail/Owl House Cross Fic Episode 3 Part 2
Hello all, once again I arrive to bring you the next part to Midnight Striga, Episode 3! Everybody Clap Your Hands!!
“Willow, I heard.” Luz chuckled. “Speaking of names, mine’s Luz.” With that said, she held out her hand, open for a shake.
Willow blinked, before, with a beaming grin, reciprocated the handshake. It wasn’t often that people were this openly friendly to her! “Well, it’s nice to meet you, Luz! I-” Willow’s voice cut off as she focused on a detail she had missed prior; Luz’s ears, her very noticeably round-tipped ears. “So circly…” She murmured in fascination, only for her hand to be lightly swatted away by Luz. “Oh! I’m sorry, but, it’s just, you, you’re a human!”
Luz grave a slightly irked grin. “Yup. Been one all my life.”
Willow rang her hands, flustered. “Oh my Titan, I can’t believe I lost control around a human. Are you sure you’re not hurt?” She asked again.
Luz was a little ticked at the implication that she was fragile, but kept it in, smiling at the girl’s concern. “Like I said, I’m fine.” She spread her arms, showing off the lack of damage to her limbs and body. “Might have a few aches and pains in the morning, but other than that, I’m good.”
“A-are you sure?” Willow pressed. “I mean, I know humans are more frail than Witches-” Willow’s voice cut out, suddenly intimidated by the sharp glare on Luz’s face.
“Humans. Are not fragile.” Luz bites out. Breathing in deep, Luz lets out a sigh, calming herself. Forcing a smirk on her face, she asks Willow, “Besides, if we were, could I do this?”
Willow gasped as Luz proceeded to do the “this” in question; summoning a chair made of light, and plopping herself down in it, a cocky smirk on her face. “But. Magic! How? And you!! What is-” At that point, Willow’s legs gave out, causing her to slowly topple over.
“Whoa there, don’t go falling on me now!” Luz yelped, quickly moving to steady the other girl. As she managed to keep her Willow on her feet, Luz let out a relieved sigh. “And, there we go!”
“Thanks.” Willow gasped out, steadying herself. “Now, where was I? Oh yeah!” Willow snapped her fingers in realization, pointing at Luz dramatically. “YOU JUST USED MAGIC!!!”
Luz gave Willow a flat look in response. “Yes. I did. Is that a problem?” Luz asked as calmly as she could. Don’t get her wrong, Luz liked this girl, but she was still a bit salty about the incident from four days prior with the deliveries.
“Oh, nonononono!!” Willow frantically denied. “At least, not with me. It’s just really, really shocking.” Luz gave a shrug at that, not contesting the point. Willow sighed. “I’m sorry if that sounded rude, it’s just, all my life I’ve been told that Humans can’t use magic, that it was a gift for us Witches and Demons. I didn’t mean to offend you.” Willow finished, offering a shallow bow in apology.
Luz snorted at the display. “Pfft. Don’t worry about it!” She flippantly stated, a cheeky grin on her face. “I’ve gotten used to the whole “humans don’t have magic” speech already. It’ll probably grate on my nerves when it comes up, but it doesn’t bother me. Honestly, what concerns me more was that little display with Little Miss Perfect.” Willow snorted at the not-inaccurate description for Amity, a little surprised at someone being so dismissive of the girl.
Clearing her throat, Willow broached the topic on her mind. “I’m not going to ask how you can perform magic, and I must say that your spell looks amazing, but why were you hiding in the bushes?”
Lus flushed. “I was actually looking for… something I lost earlier this week. I overheard you talking to yourself, and saw the whole exchange between you and Miss Minty.” Again, Willow held in a chuckle at the flippant nickname. Luz’s face grew serious. “But, I gotta say, as someone who specializes in Construct-based Magic… your Abomination?” She phrased it as a question, continuing at Willow’s answering nod. “It literally made me cry to see.”
Willow grew downcast, sorrowfully mumbling. “It’s not like I haven’t heard that before.” Willow shyly twisted her foot against the ground.
Luz clapped her hand on the Witch girl’s shoulder, snapping her out of her funk. “Hey, don’t talk like that.” She held Willow’s face in her hands, much to the other girl’s bewilderment. “That Abomination is for a presentation or something, right?” At Willow’s cautious nod, Luz grinned, continuing. “Then I can help you! In exchange for a peek inside your school, that is.”
Willow was dubious. “I don’t know, do you even know how to make an Abomination?” She doubted it, but it was better to ask than to assume.
Luz grinned challengingly. “Do you have a textbook detailing this?” She gestured to the Abomination goop. With a slow nod, Willow brought out the textbook in question, one she routinely poured over every night, desperate to understand what she was doing wrong. As Luz flipped through the book, she marveled at the detailed notes covering each page; clearly, this girl was no slacker, so how was she doing so poorly? Unless… as Luz took a closer look into the Pot, she gained an idea as to what the problem was. She piped up. “Hey Willow, do you think you could summon this for me?”
“Uh, sure?” With a nervous flick of her wrist, Willow called up her Abomination, internally cringing at the admittedly poor result. She was slightly puzzled, however, by Luz crouching down to get a better look, and grew a little worried at her chuckling.
Snickering to herself, Luz decided to voice her thoughts on the situation. “Willow, would you say that you like plants?” She was sure that it was an understatement, but it was best to make sure.
Blinking, Willow nearly shouted in response. “ARE YOU KIDDING!? I LOVE PLANTS!!” The gleeful cheer ripped through the clearing, leaving no doubts to her opinion on the subject. “If I had any real say, I’d much prefer learning Plant Magic than… Abominations.” She continued at a much more sedate volume, spitting the last word with a surprising amount of venom.
Luz cocked an eyebrow, amused. “Well, considering that thing with the vines,” Willow flushed in embarrassment at the memory. “I think I know what your problem is.”
Willow paused, uncomprehending. Then, she rushed deep into Luz’s personal space, an almost manic gleam in her eyes. “Really!? Do you mean it?!?” She demanded, roughly shaking the human.
“Y-Ye-e-e-ss, now-w s-sst-op sh-shaking-g m-meme!!” Luz garbled.
As Willow sheepishly released her, Luz straightened out her clothes, voicing her theory. “My best guess is that you have too high an affinity with plants and plant magic. That’s why you struggle so much with making these things,” She kicked the Abomination Pot, “despite having so much knowledge on the topic.”
Willow’s eyes blinked rapidly, confused. “Affinity?”
“Do Witches not really work with those?” Luz asked. At Willow’s still confused nod, Luz pondered the information. “Huh, that explains a bit. Well, to simplify, a Magic User’s affinity, whether Witch, Human, or Demon, is the representation of the magic closest to their soul. Every mage has an affinity, heck, the strongest mages often have several, but everyone’s got at least one.”
“Okay,” Willow replied slowly. “But what does that have to do with me and my Abominations?”
“Everything.” Luz bluntly stated. As Willow flinched in response, she continued. “I’ve seen magic react to its wielder’s emotions, heck, it’s usually a good way of checking a fresh mage’s magical affinity, if they're strong enough to handle it, but I’ve NEVER seen a reaction as powerful as that one.” Willow blinked, not quite processing what Luz was implying. “Girl, you have to have some of the singularly greatest potential for Plant and Plant-based Magic I have ever seen in my life, and the power to back it up.”
“B-But I’m the bottom of my class,” Willow stammered. “I-I was a late bloomer!”
“If anyone told you anything like that, they didn’t know what they were talking about.” Luz calmly stated. “If you got labeled a ‘late bloomer’ or anything like that, it only reinforces my theory.”
“How so?” Willow softly asked, still trying to process it all.
“Easy.” Luz shrugged. “Your affinity for Plant Magic is TOO powerful. Your magic naturally seeks to become Plant Magic and spells, so if you attempt anything else, it backfires. You’ve got incredible power, and can do insane things with Plants, but the trade off is that you can ONLY do things with plants, at least alone.”
Willow’s legs wobbled, and she fell to the ground. She was so confused. All this time, she was never a Half-a-Witch? She wasn’t a late bloomer, just too good at one thing? “Then, what am I supposed to do? I’m in the Abominations Track, I’m not supposed to use Plant Magic!” She was mostly trying to convince herself at this point. “My parents said I’d have better prospects in Abominations!”
“If they said that, then I’m sorry to say that they have no clue what your prospects are really like.” Luz coldly replied. It was harsh, but it needed to be said. “It doesn’t matter if the field itself has great prospects or opportunities, if you can’t even do the bare minimum successfully, you’ll never be able to benefit from them. Keeping you in Abominations is just going to cripple you in the long run.”
Willow cried, tears softly running down her face. “Then, then, what’s the point?” She cupped her face in her hands. “If I can’t even benefit from a Track I hate, then what can I even do?”
“Hey, hey!” Luz lightly chided. “No talking like that! You may not have a future in Abominations,” She ignored Willow’s bitter agreement, “But we can at least get you a grade good enough to tide you over until we find a solution.”
Willow looked up at Luz’s daring grin. “How?” She asked challengingly.
“Treat it like a plant.” She said.
Willow blinked. “Huh?”
“If you can’t get it right as an Abomination,” Luz began, “Then try it again, but this time, imagine forming your Abomination the way you would have a plant grow.”
“Would that even work?” Willow was skeptical. It was admittedly a smart reaction, as what Luz was suggesting came very close to mixing magic from what she could tell, but she couldn’t deny it was enticing.
Luz gave her a reassuring grin. “Of course it will. Here, I’ll even help guide you through it.”
“O-okay.” With a shuddering breath, Willow slowly began forming her Abomination, Luz calmly walking her through each step.
As Luz oversaw Willow’s work, she briefly wondered what Eda and King were getting up to.
A massive crowd of Witches, Demons, and guards alike all cheered at the sight before them; a ring of fire in an open clearing, Eda the Owl Lady riding on the shoulders of a Bipedal hulk of light, a sword raised over head, her demon companion riding his own hulking mount, a spear clutched in his adorable fist. With matching bloodthirsty cries, the two goaded their servants to charge, weapons bared, while the crowd roared in delight behind them.
Luz shrugged, reasoning to herself that they couldn’t have gotten up to anything too crazy. As she saw Willow’s finished product, she couldn’t fight the genuinely impressed grin. Now, she was ready.
Amity Blight was annoyed. That was nothing unusual, not truly; the life she lived was a passionless one, save those few moments of genuine enjoyment she gained reading to the kids at the library, or when she could escape into her books. Even her scholastic achievements only brought some measure of satisfaction, and it was truly minor in the end. What currently was igniting her frustration, however, was the Witchling she was being forced to deal with.
“For the last time, Skara,” Amity growled. “I don’t care if Boscha is being aggressive. She’s ALWAYS aggressive!”
“But it’s different this time!” Skara, one of the Witches she was forced to endure on a daily basis, insisted. “Ever since she lost that fight, she’s been super different!” She glanced over to see Boscha, roughly pinning a Demon student against the wall, an ugly smile spread across her face.
Amity blinked, confused. “Boscha lost a fight?” That was certainly unusual. The arrogant Witch, though it wasn’t often unwarranted, was exceptionally aggressive in terms of combat-based magic, and thrived on competition. “How?”
“Well, we were walking through Bonesburough, when Boscha spotted the absolutely cutest demon!” Skara started, gushing slightly at the mention of the demon. Amity fought the urge to roll her eyes; Boscha’s weakness for cuteness, a stark contrast to her tough girl image, was an open secret, not that anyone was foolish enough to try and use it against her. Skara continued talking, “But before we could get in any cuddles or pics for Penstagram, the little guy’s minder took him back! And, she totally gave Boscha the brushoff!” 
Oof. Amity would freely admit to herself, that took an incredible amount of nerve; even those who didn’t know or know of Boscha found her presence intimidating. For someone to completely ignore the girl would take an impressive amount of nerve, and would’ve infuriated the feral jock to no end. “I’m assuming Boscha took exception to that?” Of course she did, but, for the sake of her sanity, it wouldn’t do to undercut the frustrating girl before her.
Skara nodded, oddly grave; Amity took notice of it for later. “Yeah. It was BRUTAL. This girl not only caught one of Boscha’s punches like it was nothing, but she blocked one of her best fireballs with a Light Spell of all things!” And at that, any interest Amity had in the conversation vanished.
With a scoff, Amity turned on her heel. “If you’re going to make up something new for the rumor mill, the least you could do is make it believable.” With a huff, Amity started walking to her class. She had better things to do than indulge the biggest gossip in school looking to stir up trouble.
“What!?” Skara yelped. “But Amity, I’m being serious!”
Amity stopped, turning to give Skara a Look. “Uh huh, right.” As if she’d buy that.
Skara huffed, a hint of red coloring her cheeks. “It’s true! Boscha got into a fight, she lost, and now she’s being super weird! How hard is that to believe!?” She flapped her arms in emphasis, desperate to gain some focus on what she was saying.
Amity crossed her arms, chin turned up in faux-thought. “Well, nothing you said was implausible…”
Skara started to cheer, only for it to die in her throat as Amity continued.
“But the fact that you claimed Boscha was beaten by a Light Spell, the absolutely most basic of magic spells Witches are taught, makes me think you are just trying to stir up drama. Like you always do.” With a disinterested sniff, Amity continued on her way.
“B-but Amity!” Skara cried.
Whirling on the other girl, her temper almost breaking, Amity growled. “No. Buts.”
Skara was instantly cowed, any words being swallowed as her face flooded with heat. “Y-yes, Amity.”
With a small smirk at the end to this latest annoyance, Amity walked to class, heedless of Skara’s efforts to pry Boscha away from the rapidly bluing Demon she was gripping around the throat, only for Boscha to freeze, releasing the Demon, as she slowly turned towards the center of the school, her eyes glowing a bloody red. The sooner Amity’s day was over, the better.
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thejemersoninferno · 5 years
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Birthday wish.
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· Pairing: Chris Evans x Reader (Platonic love).
·Word count:  4911.
· Warnings: none.
You and your friend arrived at the place with big smiles plastered on your faces. You had been dreaming of this moment for ages and finally, after hard work and luck, you made it. You two have been Marvel fans for ages and until this moment you have never attend a Comic Con.
Your friend, Whitney, has saved up enough money from her newest job at a bakery to fly to San Diego, buy her tickets, and book her hotel. You had to save up a little more since you had to cross an ocean to San Diego. You bought your tickets the same day, at the same time. You had been really quick and you bought tickets to a Photo Op with Sebastian Stan, Danai Gurira, Letitia Wright, Lupita Nyongo and Michael B Jordan.
You have decided to Cosplay the Dora Milaje on day one (you would have your Photo Op with the Dora Milaje and Killmonger), on day two, you would be your favourite character from the Marvel universe (you would meet Sebastian this day at the Photo Op and autograph session) and on day three, you would dress as whatever you would buy around the Comic Con, the merch day and sadly, no Photo Op but you would attend Tom Hiddleston’s autograph session.
You had been counting the days to finally be there and the wait was now over. You both moved inside the place fascinated. Mouths slightly open and shaking hands full of excitement.
“We’re here,” Whitney whispered excited.
“We made it!” you screamed exploding in emotions. You both squealed a bit and burst out laughing at the end.
“OK, ok, now what are going to do?” Whitney tried to bring calm to your excited minds and bodies.
“Right, shall we go find our Photo Op tickets and timetables?” you asked.
“Yes, let’s go!” Whitney added holding onto you and entering the crowd.
You had to avoid bumping into other people but that would be a hard task since you would bump into someone new every different step you took. You arrived to the long queue to pick up your wristband and ticket assigned for the Photo Op and the pamphlet with the timetables.
Half an hour later, you had your wristbands, tickets and timetables, you walked around looking into the different tables with memorabilia and many more.
You had a few hours until you met the Black Panther cast and you were so excited.
After time, your feet started to hurt and you went to find a place to have lunch. There’s was a special hall for the people that brought their own food. Another hall, to buy food and drinks.
You tried to find a little spot and ended up squished into a corner eating your food.
“I'm so hungry I think I'll need more,” you mumbled.
“You're going to explode,” Whitney laughed and threw a chip at you.
“Oiiiii,” you squealed, “No wasting food.”
“Okay, I need the restroom, then we can go queue for our picture?” Whitney asked.
“I need the restroom too, but we don't have our picture until 5pm,” you added looking at the programme.
“Right, but would it be good if we just walk around the photo op area?” Whitney suggested.
You looked at her expression and understood, today was Chris Evans Photo Op session too, none of you could get pic with him, it sold out quickly, and you knew she was trying to, at least, see him walk by.
“Okay, let's go for potty time and then, photos,” you smiled at her.
Whitney laughed and nodded. You went to a really long queue for the restroom and waited patiently.
“So, how was your flight?” Whitney wondered.
“Long ass flight,” you cried, “But I had a good snooze,” you laughed, “What about yours?”
“Not as long as yours but it was alright,” she told you.
Nearly an hour later, you were walking to the Photo Op area, people everywhere. At least, 99% of them excited and the other 1% already died after meeting their favourite. Their words, not yours. You were looking around, trying to see any little hint of Chris Evans, aka Captain America, would appear any second but none a sight of him.
“What's the time?” you asked wary.
“Nearly 3pm,” Whitney replied forcing a smile.
You reached to her hand and squeezed. You both loved Chris endlessly and a dream of yours was to meet him and give him the biggest cuddle ever. Chris was like your favourite person and you both became friends because of your interest on him. Actually, the whole Marvel world but you had a soft spot for Evans. Even though, Tom Hiddleston was another weakness of you.
You kept walking around seeing the people's excitement to see their favourites and soon enough, you two were one of them. You had to walk to your panel and queue to meet the Black Panther cast. Some people liked your Cosplay and stopped you to tell you. Some even asked for a picture, you were shocked and felt touched. You had dedicated time to create your Cosplay and people were complimenting you about it.
While you were in the queue another group of Black Panther Cosplay approached you and you posed for a big Black Panther Cosplay picture. You smiled, laughed and joked about being the new cast. They were nice people and you joked about leaving for your own photo panel.
Just after, the other cosplayers left, you heard screams and people started running towards the right side of your view. You tried to see what was happening but security and the people around wouldn't allow you to see anything.
“What's going on?” Whitney questioned.
“I have no idea,” you acknowledged.
“CHRIS, WE LOVE YOU!!!!” someone chanted at the top of their lungs.
You freezed. You felt Whitney tremble next to you and next thing you knew, you were trying to breath and both of you were shaking.
Chris Evans just walked around and you couldn't see a glimpse of him. Your heart ached. Whitney’s expression fell, sadness clouded her features. You felt bad, guilt running around your mind. You had told her you would do anything to try and meet Chris. You had promised her you would get tickets to see him. You wished you could have kept your word and gift her a photo Op ticket to see Chris. And you tried, you really tried to get the tickets but they were gone before you could even imagine. You felt Whitney moving next to you and the next thing you felt her arms around you. You broke into tears. Both of you lamented not getting to see him but you were grateful you could be there to at least walk in the same place as him.
“It's Okay, someday we will make it,” Whitney babbled.
“I know, it's just..” you blurted, Whitney interrupted you.
“Look, we both tried and we both knew this would happen, so it's okay, we're good,” she smiled at you, “plus, we're meeting Black Panther cast, Sebastian and Tom,”
You nodded and she high fived you.
A few minutes later, the queue moved and you saw the cast arriving. You stood up and took pictures of them entering the Photo Panel. Your nerves floating in the air. You chatted about anything, about the other panels you would see after meeting them, and of course, you would try to see Chris again. You heard some group chant in happiness inside the panel and you were curious to know what was going on. A few minutes later, the news arrived, a couple just got engaged during their picture and everyone outside cheered for the new engagement.
Your turn arrived soon enough and you couldn’t be happier or excited or nervous. Maybe all of them at same time. The security asked for your tickets and you gave him the tickets, you could hear them talking and laughing with the group of four dressed as Erik Killmonger team, you heard Michael B. Jordan joke about the “Erik” would give him a run for his money. And soon, you heard the flash and the Comic Con worker gave you a big smile and pointed your turn to go in. You thought you would pass out with all your emotions going higher but Whitney’s hand tightening around your arm made you realise you weren’t the only one excited and nervous. You both walked inside and were greeted with cheering. Letitia, Lupita and Danai cheered and posed applauding you. Michael laughed and shouted “Yes, girls!!” and you melted on the spot.
“So, who’s ending Thanos?” Michael dubted.
“Don’t you see? They’re going to kick his ass to death,” Letitia jokes. You all laughed.
“Can I get a hug?” Whitney questioned and next thing, all of them were embracing you in the biggest hug ever.
“It’s her birthday on Sunday,” you pointed out.
“Oooooohhhh,” Danai and Lupita cheered, “Ready for the fun?” Lupita wondered.
“Yes, we’re going to be around here,” Whitney answered.
“Cool. I want my cake,” Letitia pouted, Michael laughed and gave her a big hug.
“Ok, come here, birthday girl,” Michael opened his arms welcoming Whitney in a big cuddle. She squealed out loud when he picked her up and spun her around. I wanted to record the moment, and I tried to take my phone from my pocket but the security told me, no cameras. I nodded and cheered. However, Letitia took her phone from her back pocket and took a few pictures, you smiled and thanked her.
“Selfie!” Letitia chanted, everyone got in the frame and a few pictures were taken.
“Ok, everyone in position,” the cameraman petitioned.
You all posed and the flash blurred your sight.
“Another one!” Lupita asked, “It’s my birthday gift,” she smiled at Whitney. We thanked her and posed again.
“Okay, last one,” Danai said, we did a fighting against Michael pose and they hugged us for the last time.
“Have a good day and enjoy your birthday,” Danai embraced Whitney tightly. You thanked them again and left.
You walked out and you had to stop for a moment to let your emotions go through your body. You looked at each other and squealed one more time.
“Letitia took pictures!” you chanted, “Pictures of you and Michael!”
Whitney jumped on her spot excited and you laughed. You went around the Photo panels waiting to pick up your picture.
“Look at them,” you said pointing your picture, “look at Michael,” you pointed him, “he looks so happy!”
“All of them look so happy!” Whitney told you, “this is the best birthday present ever,” she cried.
You hugged her and off you went. You walked to Chris’s panel but you couldn’t see a thing. You spoke with a few girls that had their picture taken and you told them about yours.
They wished Whitney a nice birthday and you went back to the other halls.
You spent the next two hours walking around, taking pictures, buying merch and then, back to your hotel.
Day two arrived, you went for breakfast at the hotel and then went back to the Comic Con. Whitney was cosplaying Captain Marvel and you dressed up as Loki in Midgard with blue body paint around your neck to lighten up since he's a frost giant. You both looked amazing, you thought.
You arrived to the place, picked up your wristbands and tickets. Once again, visited the halls and stopped to buy a few things. You found a picture of Chris signed and you didn't hesitate to buy it for Whitney. That would be your birthday present the next morning. After lunch, you went back to the Photo Op area and queued to meet Sebastian.
“I'm so excited!” you yelped.
Whiney laughed and nodded, “We definitely are!”
You spoke with the people in the queue and you ended up sitting chatting. Soon, Sebastian arrived roaring and you all laughed and chanted for him. He stopped to high five a few people and you recorded while Whitney took pictures. He approached your side and you smiled at him and he took your phone away, he pointed the camera to his face and said a few words you couldn't listen in the middle of the chanting, then he recorded the crowd and finally both you. He kissed your hand and Whitney's. You cried out loud when he went in the Photo panel.
“He took your phone!!!!!” Whitney jumped excited around.
“Oh my god,” you murmured, “He took my phone!” you yelled. Everyone around whispered and you laughed hugging Whitney.
Two hours later, you were three people from meeting Sebastian.
“Okay, what we gonna do?” you questioned her.
“I think we should go together. If you like,” she babbled.
You nodded in agreement and then, held her hand. Your turn arrived and you were welcomed by an empty room.
“He tricking gone,” you mumbled.
Whitney laughed and Sebastian appeared screaming to scare you out. He did scare Whitney who screamed so loud you had to cover your ears. Sebastian laughed and hugged her.
“That was fun,” he laughed.
“Hilarious,” you laughed sarcastic.
He pouted and took his tongue out at you.
“I'm so glad to meet you,” Whitney told him.
“Nice to meet you too, honey,” he held her hands up.
“Tomorrow's her birthday!” you spat.
“Oh!!!” Sebastian clapped and embraced her in a hug, “Happy birthday to youuuuuu, happy birthday to you,” he sang out loud, you, the cameraman and the security joined and Whitney laughed. Once you finished singing, Sebastian hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead.
“Hands down, this is my favourite Cosplay by far,” he told her, “You look nice too,” he said moving his hand to you playfully.
You laughed, “I thought you were handsome,” you joked. Sebastian acted offend.
“How dare you?” he made an offend gesture with his hands and you all laughed.
“Okay, what pose would you like?” the cameraman questioned.
“Just hug me!!!” Sebastian squealed, “Sandwich!!”
The two of you hugged him tightly and smiled at the camera.
“Ok, now just me and the birthday girl,” Sebastian told him. You walked to the side.
“Now, you,” he pointed at you, “try to get to me and you, push her a side,” you nodded and obeyed.
“That's a nice one,” the cameraman said.
You all smiled and thanked them.
“Nice to see you girls,” Sebastian hugged you quickly, “I hope you have a nice day tomorrow,” he kissed her cheeks, “And well, hope you’re ok, too,” he rolled his eyes. You laughed.
“Good god, I’m glad I don't have to see you tomorrow,” you played.
He opened his mouth offended, “Don't be friends with her,” he told Whitney, “Now, we're besties,”
You laughed and gave him a quick hug before leaving, you shouted, “See you later, alligator!”
You heard him laugh and off you went.
You walked around taking pictures with other cosplayers, a few complimented you both.
“I love this one,” Whitney said showing you the one you were trying to reach Sebastian.
“He's such a dork,” you laughed.
“He is,” she agreed. You asked for another copy and then, went to see the other halls. Three hours later, you were queuing for the autograph session and you were watching the video Sebastian recorded.
“Hi there, I'm here with you and all our friends,” he showed the crowd, “we’re having a good time and you guys look so beautiful on your outfits. Ok honey, gotta leave, see you at dinner,” he joked and tuck his tongue out before recording the people and then, give your phone back.
“I can't believe this idiot,” you laughed.
“He's a baby,” she shrugged.
Your turn arrived, Sebastian quickly recognized you and started chanting happy birthday to you to Whitney, the crowd joined and so did the staff.
“I need to give her a birthday hug,” he said, he stood up and ran to your side to hug her.
“Thank you,” Whitney said blissfully.
Sebastian went back to his seat. Whitney offered him a funko of him as Bucky and he smiled and signed it.
“So, what are you going to do tomorrow?” his eyes narrowed.
“We're going to be around here,” she replied.
“Nice, come see me!” he suggested.
“We wish we could,” you said.
“Oh, no. You again,” he rolled his eyes, you laughed and Whitney giggled, “You're everywhere, ain't you?” the corner of his eyes crinkled.
“You're lucky to catch me,” you played poking your tongue out at him. He giggled.
“I'm going to cut that tongue of yours!” he tried to reach your face and you chuckled.
“So, Sebastian, would you mind saying hi to my friend back in Spain?” you petitioned. He smiled at your phone and then, made a silly face, “Okay, so darling, I'm out here trying to make these kids behave but it ain't working. I'm sad you're not here with me but,” he sighed, “I'll see you back home soon, ok? Love you babe,” he blew a kiss and then reached for your hands holding the phone and proceeded to make out with your phone. You all laughed, you offered your own funko and he signed it.
“Thank you, Sebastian, you're an angel,” Whitney told him. He denied blushing and took her hands and kissed them.
“Hope you have a nice day, Sebby,” you smiled.
“Oh, Sebby,” he pouted, “O să ne vedem mai târziu, păpușă,” you chuckled.
“O să ne vedem mai târziu, pisoi,” you winked at him playfully and he opened his mouth in surprise, you waved goodbye and before leaving, you took the small letter from your pocket and gave it to him, muttering “read it, please,” Sebastian nodded and you left.
Later that night, you were chatting with your family on Skype. Whitney was in the bathroom taking a bath, and a notification on your phone chimed. You unlocked your phone and found an Instagram notification from Sebastian Stan himself. You jumped on your spot and ended up on the floor. You crawled back to bed and opened the notification.
“Hi, sweet, thank you for your letter. Such kind words there, I'm glad we met and I'm glad Whitney and you are such a good friends,” he added a smiley and heart eyes emoji, “I'd like to give you guys something. Would you mind giving me your full name and an email address?,” he added a thinking emoji, “Goodnight,” he ended the text with a heart emoji. You squealed out loud and Whitney shouted what's was happening.
“Nothing. It's ok,” you replied. You quickly typed out, “Dear Sebastian, thank you so much for reading my letter. I meant every word. Thank you again for making Whitney's meeting so special. My full name is _______ ______ ______ and my email is _______,” you added a smiley emoji, “I don't know what you have in mind, but please, I just want Whitney to have a birthday she would never forget,” you added a pouting emoji, “thank you, again,” you finished the text with a heart emoji.
Half an hour later, both of you on your bed, your phone chimed again, Sebastian replied your message, “You're incredible,” an a blow a kiss emoji. You went to sleep not believing you have been texting with Sebastian, you wanted to tell Whitney but you couldn't say a word until you knew what he had planned.
The next morning, you arrived earlier, you picked up your wristband to Tom’s autograph session and you walked out to the halls. While you were waiting for Whitney to pay for her merch, your phone chimed and another notification from Sebastian lit it up. You unlocked your phone and opened the text carefully. “Go to the pick up your tickets stand,” and a winking emoji.
“I need the restroom,” you claimed.
“Go, I'll be here,” Whitney told you. You nodded and you went to the tickets stand. There were five people before you, you waited.
“Hi, how can I help you?” the woman smiled.
“Uh, uhm,” you murmured, “I need to pick up something?” you mumbled. She nodded.
“Can I have a name?”
“Yeah,” you replied. She looked around trying to find tickets.
“Mmm, are you sure you have tickets here?” she raised a brow at you. You were about to reply when a man interrupted you.
“There's a girl that needs to come pick up this envelope,” he offered to her. She took it on her hands.
“Okay,” he nodded and left.
“Oh, this is you!” She chuckled. She gave you the envelop and you smiled.
“Thank you,” you waved bye, she smiled back.
“Have a good day,” she replied.
You walked out, opened the envelope and your eyes filled with tears. You brought your hand to your mouth to not scream. “O să ne vedem mai târziu, pisoi,” and a little heart. You run all the way back to Whitney. You walked around agitated trying to find her but you couldn't.
“Hey!” She chuckled behind you. You jumped and gave her a big hug.
“We need to go,” you cried.
“What? Where?” she saw the tears stream down your face and she flinched, “What happened?”
You shook your head and pulled her with you.
“Wait, what's happening?” you pulled her away from the crowd.
“Just come with me,” you kept pulling her.
“That's the Photo area, we can't,” she stopped.
You pulled her once again, opened the envelope and showed it to security, they let you in.
“What's that?” she asked. You kept walking trying to find Sebastian’s photo panel. She followed you close, you arrived there and sat.
“What are we doing here?” she asked you.
“Just sit,” you patted the empty place next to you.
She sat confuse and looked at you. You texted Sebastian right before your turn “we're the next ones.”
“Happy birthdaaaaaaaay!!!!!” Sebastian, the cameraman, the security and you chanted. Sebastian gave Whitney a big hug and some flowers. The security man gave her some chocolates and a bag.
“Oh my god,” Whitney cried, “thank you!”
“Surprise!!!!!!” you clapped. She hugged you and then Sebastian.
“I'm glad to see you both,” he smiled.
“How?” Whitney asked.
“I have some dark secrets,” you winked at them. Sebastian laughed.
“How's the birthday girl?” he asked.
“Good. Oh God, I wasn't expecting this,” she said.
“You deserve it,” Sebastian and you replied.
She laughed and you two high fived.
“Let's go for a few pics,” you took three different pictures and the last one was Sebastian hugging Whitney tightly and you poking your tongue out at him behind his back and he holding one of your hands.
“Have a good time, enjoy your birthday,” he kissed her cheeks and forehead. You waited and he pulled you into a hug.
“Thank you so much, Sebastian,” you cried.
“Ssh, this is for both of you,” he hushed you and kissed your forehead. You had to walk out.
You walked around until your pictures were ready. You kept walking and then picked them up. You were about to go back to the halls, your phone chimed, “Come to panel C at 6pm.” Sebastian texted. You pulled Whitney to the side with the excuse to use the restroom. You went to find the long queue and it was perfect to kill the time. You went in, and waited outside for Whitney once you were finish.
“Let's go over there,” you begged.
“But,” she tried to interrupt you but you hushed her. She followed behind and you went and found the panel empty.
“What are we doing here?” she questioned confused. You were about to reply when your phone chimed, “Come in.” Sebastian texted.
“Come, come,” you pulled her with you.
“What? We can't do this!!!” She replied scared.
“Just wait! One second!” you squealed. You heard noise inside and you pulled Whitney, hiding behind her back.
“Oh Lord, we're going to get in trouble!” She yelled, “They're going to kick us out!”
And before you could reply a big chant greeted you in the room.
“SURPRISE!!!!!!” the group chanted. Sebastian Stan, Letitia Wright, Danai Gurira, Michael B Jordan, Tom Holland, Tom Hiddleston and Chris Evans started to sing happy birthday. You saw Michael and Tom recording with their phones, you joined them, opened your camera and recorded too. Whitney's eyes filled with tears, the tears falling for her eyes and her smile big.
Sebastian clapped happily and gave her a wink. You all sang and Chris walked to spin her around into a big hug.
After a few minutes, Whitney calmed down, so did you. They gave her a hug and wished her happy birthday.
“I don't know what have you done and if it's legal, but thank you,” she told you wiping away the tears. You chuckled.
“In my defence, I'm always up to no good,” everyone laughed and you melted in a hug.
“So, you need to blow the candles,” Sebastian suggested.
Whitney opened her mouth surprised when Chris appeared again with a cake on his hand. A Captain America cake.
“Nice choice,” you giggled.
“See?” Chris poked his tongue out at Hiddleston and Jordan.
Whitney blew the candles and everyone cheered
They wished her a happy birthday and some of them left after taking a few pictures.
Chris wouldn't leave Whitney's side and held her hand all the time. Your phone recorded and took picture of everything.
“Thank you,” you mumbled to Sebastian.
“Are you having fun?” he asked. You nodded.
At the end, it was only you, Whitney, Chris and Sebastian in the room.
“I like your top,” Chris told Whitney.
“Thank you,” she replied.
“Oh, I forgot my present, come,” Sebastian pulled you aside leaving the two of them alone.
“Another one?” you asked surprised.
“Maybe, they need a moment,” he said.
You went to find a bag. Sebastian offered you a little one from inside the big one.
“What it is?” you wondered narrowing your eyes.
Sebastian chuckled, “Find out,”.
You opened the bag and found a teddy bear of a kitten. You laughed out loud.
“Pisoi,” you said.
“Yes,” he said, “You're a really good friend, thank you for letting me be part of this,”
“Me? You! Thank you!” you squealed, “I knew I was risking too much but I had to try,” you whispered.
“As long as you try, it's ok,” Sebastian smiled.
“I can't believe you made our dream true,”
He hugged you and you went back to meet a red eyed Whitney and a smiley Evans holding her tight.
“There you are,” he said.
“Here, I know I'm your favourite,” Sebastian said playfully, he offered Whitney the bag, “I know you are just shooting your shot,” he winked.
“You wish,” Chris chuckled.
“Open it when you're safely home,” Sebastian petitioned. She nodded and you smiled.
“Can I take a pic of you?” you asked.
They nodded and you raised your phone up to take a picture of Whitney sandwiched between the two of them.
“Now, come here,” Sebastian pulled you and took your phone. He flicked to the front camera and hugged you even more.
“Say cheese,” he said.
You all smiled and then took a few funny pictures. Half an hour later, you all had to leave.
Chris gave you both a big cuddle and then you went to Tom's autograph panel.
Tom recognised you and greeted you happily. He signed your funko and your favourite book. Whitney thanked him again and you walked out.
You left the place sad and happy at the same time. You had the most amazing day of your life and you couldn't believe it. You showed Whitney your text exchange with Sebastian and she laughed and thanked you.
You arrived at the hotel and prepared your things for the next day. You had to leave earlier than she did but you would go together to the airport.
You slept really well that night.
You woke up the next morning at 4AM and left for the airport.
You were awaiting instructions at your gate together when you found Sebastian’s latest post on Instagram. It was a picture of Whitney and Chris hugging while you had your hand on your chest and tears streamed down your face.
“Yesterday, we were invited to Whitney's birthday. Her friend fought a few dragons, frost giants, HYDRA and Thanos himself to invite us, but as you can see, it was worth it. Whitney, I wish you a happy birthday and a good time. Safe flight back home. And pisoi, I wish I had a friend like you. You're amazing and I'm glad I could help you. Also, you owe me one, safe flight and see you soon.”
You both screamed happily and hugged. You liked the picture and you promised yourself to comment back during your flight. You found Michael and Letitia had posted a picture of the improvised party. And Tom Holland posted a video wishing you a safe flight. You were speechless. You thanked all of them and posted a picture of all of you with Whitney in the middle with Chris hugging her from behind.
“Best day ever.” and a heart emoji. You tagged the ones with Instagram and added a kiss emoji next to Sebastian’s user.
You would never forget this weekend and you were sure neither would Whitney. You were happy and grateful Sebastian read your letter. You will always be grateful to him.
____
O să ne vedem mai târziu, păpușă | See you later, doll.
O să ne vedem mai târziu, pisoi | See you later, kitten.
pisoi | kitten.
____
I’m back! Feels good to be back. This time, I’m coming back to wish my dearest @littleheavensangel a happy birthday!!!!! Wish you a good day and hope you enjoy some good ass cake. Hope you like my present <3.
Special thanks to @fanfic-bookworm for Beta. You’re amazing, seriously. Thanks once again. Hope we can team up some more! Have wonderful day too! X
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand, I wish you all enjoy this one as much as I did writing and editing lol. 
Much love.
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ask-the-clergy-bc · 6 years
Text
First Ritual
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I’ll write a long and a TL;DR version. Long under the cut!! 
TL;DR - My first ritual was utterly fantastic!! 
~First and foremost, they passed my live band test with FLYING COLORS!! They sound SO GOOD, and some of my favorite songs sound BETTER live!! Getting to see Copia and the Ghouls interact was a treat. 
~Notable stage moments- Cardi putting a Papa dollar in Dewdrop’s pants because he plays guitar so well. Dew proceeded to snap his suspender and nod. Aether and Dew having a friendly guitar duel. The ghoulettes being their wonderful selves and dancing with the songs. And Papa Nil looking like he was going to faint after every solo and the stage hands having to help him up. That and Cardi told us Aether is made of muscle and good stuff and salad. His introduction for all the ghouls was perfect. He couldn’t find water for a second, either!! 
~All the people I met vip were awesome and I met another hardcore ghost cosplayer and we hung out- it was a blast!!!
~SOMEONE GAVE ME THEIR VIP PHOTO OP!!! So, it turns out the website I bought from failed to mention that (EVEN THOUGH LISTED AS A PERK) did not sell the vip package with the op. But one guy didn’t want his so the people who knew how crushed I was sent him my way!! I GAVE HIM THE BIGGEST HUG THANK YOU FELLOW FAN WHO I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO REPAY!!! 
~Got a LOT of compliments on my rings <3 People couldn’t believe I made them from clay.
~I MET CARDI C AND I MET TOBIAS FORGE AFTER THE SHOW!! HE’S SUPER NICE AND FRIENDLY AND SIGNED MY ITA BAG!! CARDI EVEN SQUEEZED MY HAND TIGHTER WHEN I IMPULSIVELY GRABBED IT TO TELL MY FEELINGS AHSAHDHSJDSAJDFJ
~10/10 would concert again. The music is great, the people are dedicated and awesome, and the atmosphere is fantastic. 
LONG VERSION WITH MY FEELINGS THESIS
So, I cannot get over the generosity of one fan last night. As it turns out, you should double check your ViP packages EVERY TIME!! The way I bought my ticket, it was implied or worded weird that if I bought one color it had the photo op. But, as I found out at the pass table, there were TWO packages (one of which wasn’t listed where I bought it). So the one guy explained it and felt bad, but there was nothing they could do. In fact, the other package was supposed to cost more. I was sUPER bummed and on the verge of tears, not gonna lie. But I went and took a lot of pictures with Papa III and of the others, because they were still on display (it was nice to get to see them!) 
Later, I just sat down to wait for the costume contest (did not place, but the people who did looked incredible!! (THERE WAS AN ELVIS PAPA AND OMDFNDJFSJD )). Later, as I was hanging out with another cosplayer this guy randomly comes up and offers to give me his op. I was so stunned, because that’s a huge deal!! Turns out that he rather have a good front row seat and the photo bleeds into the time to get one. I don’t know what force of nature or karma allowed this to happen, but I nearly cried. Apparently the other vip fan I made friends with and guy at the table pointed him my way. We ended up switching passes and I gave him a huge hug (people even aw’ed). I got ushered away and he took off before I could get his name. But truly, I will never forget what an insane act of generosity and kindness that was. I hope he got the front row view he wanted. 
There are truly some amazing people out in the world, and that guy is one of them. If I could talk to him again I’d hug him even more. Cheers to you, dude- we need more people in the world like you!! 
SO I got to meet Cardi C, and let me tell you he is delightful in character- and he’s taller than I expected him to be- especially with my shoes on!! Side note- DON’T WEAR BIG HEELS TO CONCERTS I CANT FEEL MY MIDDLE TOES!! XDXD But he complimented my outfit and I told him he should have worn his, we could have twinned!! I got an answer like, “aaah but I will wear mine later!” 
I think he said something else but I like panicked and impulsively reached out to take his hand. Normally I don’t touch people without permission, but my level of feels was through the roof. What was even better is that he let me AND SQUEEZED MY HAND TIGHTER. After I spurted out a, “IMSOSORRYFORGRABBINGYOURHANDBUT-” I finally got to tell him what Ghost meant to me, and all the personal things it helped me get through. I told him how it made me love music again, and thank you for what you do, and keep on at it. He didn’;t break eye contact and it was a very nice moment. I think he thanked me or said something, but I honestly can’t remember- I just remember looking down at his hands the moment I grabbed them and feeling him squeeze back. He ushered for me to take a pic, and after asking, let me put my arm around him!! It was a nice picture I think!! I haven’t seen them yet, but when they are posted I will share <3 
After that, he told me enjoy the show and I thanked him and said he was going to do fabulous. I skittered out of there as fast as I could, ngl. I don’t know how I didn’t have fangirl tears!! 
THE SHOW WAS GREAT!! As I said above, a total delight and sounded good. It was fantastic when the crowd sung Faith, Square Hammer, Year Zero, and Monstrace Clock together. They sound soooo good live. Bonus was a gent filming didn’t even mind that I was screaming next to him. 
After, I went out back to the tour bus. It actually didn’t take as long. One of the ghoulettes came out, but no one recognized her but one guy next to me. Then Chris Catalyst came out, and the crowd cheered- idk what happened or if he waved because they were blocking my view. Unfortunately, did not do signings but hey- he deserves a break. 
THE GUY WORKING THE VENUE WAS SO NICE!! He helped us set up and set up a line so we could meet Tobias. It’s so weird seeing him in person, especially when all you see is pictures. He’s super sweet and it’s neat to see him out of character and being himself. Very nice dude, and it made me happy to know.
I told him the show was fantastic, and it was my first ritual- I had a blast. He smiled and didn’t break eye contact, so he was making sure he listened to each of his fans. 
I went on to tell him about ya’ll. I didn’t go into detail but I said I run a Ghost blog and that a lot of us on here have gotten through some tough times thanks to Ghost. I told him how a lot of fans feel safe and better having Ghost and what he made for us. I also said that it especially means a lot to his LBGTA fans. It’s something I had been thinking on and wanted him to know, call it strange. It was something I felt like he would be happy to know, and something I would want to be told if I was in his shows. Call me odd, but I told him how much it means to have a safe space where fans can relate- and how his characters like Copia and Papa III were super relatable. Again, I thanked him for being so open and having such a loving space for his fans. He thanked me in return.
Then I asked him to sing my ita bag, and I was delighted because HE WAS SUPER IMPRESSED! He actually held my bag and looked at all the pins. He asked about it and I went on to say how some of them were from fans and where I found them. Tobias pointed out which ones he knew and could tell what was what, but he pretty much said, “I just have never seen them altogether like this!!” It was awesome to know he thought it was cool and the staff next to him also loved my bag too!! I even got to explain what the fad of ita bags was as he signed. 
I then stood awkwardly for a few heartbeats as I debated whether I should ask for a hug or not, and he patiently waited for me to say anything if I was going to. Thank you Tobias for knowing the fan struggle of words! XD I didn’t but I didn’t feel the need to. Though I think he would of had I asked! I’m grateful he loves his fans enough to do that. 
After that I went home. But, omg ya’ll- if you have the opportunity definitely go to see them! No words can describe how much it means that my first ritual went to wonderfully well <3 Now excuse me, I will catch up on RP’s and Asks!! XD 
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scarecrowandmrking · 6 years
Text
All That Is And Will Never Be (Mark Pellegrino/OC)
 I took another sip of my wine and glared in ever increasing fury at the computer screen. It was two in the morning and even though I knew I had to get up early to make it out to the set on time, I just couldn’t end the argument and let HIM win.  I could just imagine his wolfish smile off somewhere in LA as he realized that, for once in our twitter war of the past two years that he had finally shut me up on something. No way would I give him that kind of satisfaction.
 If you actually thought with reason and not the err of rampant emotionalism, you would see what I’m talking about, he typed.
 If you actually thought with care and not that stuffy headed Rand nonsense, you would see what I’m talking about, I wrote back.
 Tell me where Rand went wrong.
 Tell me where she didn’t?
 Did you read any of the books we discussed?
 Did you read any of mine?
 There was a long pause before he wrote back, I really don’t consider Art Of Being An Asshole a useful political tome.
 WHY? I asked him. You read Rand.
 I closed the laptop with a grin. I could just see him sitting there stewing over that one for a while. Good.  I had met the actor Mark Pellegrino many years ago when he was playing Jedikiah Price in The Tomorrow People and I was on a sister show on the CW. I had thought him rather imposing and remote. He had given me one of those tiny, barely there smiles I had seen in so many photos of him here and there.  I had found his height and build both equally imposing and erotic, brushing up against him in an elevator going up to the place where the photo ops were being taken.  He hadn’t said a word, but that quirky smile had stayed with me for a while. And I had to admit that later that night I did indulge in some vigorous hand under the covers fun at his imaginary expense.
 But these days the infatuation had turned to fury as Mark and I had met each other again on social media. It had all started off as an angry exchange on a forum about social programs and had spiraled into an ongoing series of attacks on one another’s threads. I never knew when he might show up and vice versa. Though we had taken to fighting on DM after it became apparent that people had started to romanticize our beefs, even going so far as to post sexual fics of us online.  Mark found them slightly annoying. I enjoyed reading a few before bed sometimes. Having met the man in person, I could at least attest to the fact that he was quite a sexy creature, though taller and more roguish and infuriating than he needed to be.
 ****************************************************************************************************
 I slammed the script down on Mel’s desk.
 “NO. NO. NO.”
 Mel Aberman, producer of The Runaways, the show where I starred as a morally ambiguous leader of a government organization out to erase the living subjects of a failed experiment, just continued to stare at me with an annoyed but resigned look on his face. We had joked with one another about this very subject on more than one occasion. But I never thought in a million years that he would actually do it.
 “Look, you should see how popular this guy is,” Mel tells me while typing away on his keyboard. He pointed to some things on Twitter I could have cared less about at that very moment. “You should see the viewership when he did the Rubin Report. People love this guy. Besides, with our ratings lately….”
 My face immediately grew hot and red. There it was. Should have known that he would bring up the downturn in numbers for our show as of late to throw in my face.
 “Look, I’m not saying you have to fall in love with this guy and have his babies or anything. Just play nice. You know, I worked with him a little on Number 23. Not a bad guy, once you get to know him.”
 I rolled my eyes as I turned to stomp from the room, making sure to slam the door behind me for good measure. There was a loud thump as I collided with a dark pea coat, the soft fabric brushing against my cheek. My head shot up and I was face to face with Mark Pellegrino, my old nemesis and the person I had spent many a night hollering at all alone in my bedroom with my laptop in my lap.  He wasn’t at all what I had pictured, wearing a black beanie and a pair of clear glasses. But there was no mistaking those twinkling, devilish eyes of his. Like he was enjoying his own private joke that you would never be a part of.
 “Oh,” he said, his smile widening. But I noticed, as I had before, that his smiles were never the wide, open kind as much as a tiny curve of his lips that one could never feel quite sure about the intentions of.  “We meet at last.”
 “Don’t get too use to it,” I told him. “I’ll probably kill you by episode three.”
 He tilted his head, considering me for a moment. “Me or my character?”
 I shouldered my way past his as best I could considering moving him is a lot like trying to dislodge a small tree. “Both.”
When I made it to my car out in the lot I discovered that someone had placed a copy of The Art Of Being An Asshole on my hood.
 “Asshole,” I hissed, my mind already working out just what level of revenge Mel would let me get away with on set.
********************************************************************************************************
 The first couple of scenes I did with Mark made it quite obvious to everyone on set, and the viewing public, that at least our apparent rampant dislike for each other equaled a lot of tension on screen. Which translated into a spike in the ratings. I disliked him, strongly, and when I said certain likes about what a terrible egomaniac I thought he was, it was quite genuine. And when he told me that I was a snobby stick in the mud that needed to lighten up and trust somebody, he was pretty damn convincing about it. But there were also times when our characters did things like grab an arm or brush up against one another that left me pretty shaken up.  And it angered me to feel anything for someone that was nothing but a gigantic pain in my ass most of the time these days.
 And so we worked ourselves through most of the season avoiding each other as much as possible for two actors who were always rubbing on one another on screen.  But at night we would return to our favorite hobby of tormenting the hell out of one another. The barbs were more personal now, the privacy of DM making us bolder about going at it than if we were being watched by the fans. I wasn’t sure at the end of it all if I wanted to jerk myself off or cry after spending most of the day and night around the guy. Sometimes I did both.
 The episode I was dreading the most was episode twelves, All That Is And Will Never Be, where Mark and I have our first kiss after a fight in my character’s office. I stood off to the side of the office set as various crew worked their way around getting things ready. Today would be the kissing scene. Tomorrow the love scene. I had only done two on this show before, both with an actor I had known fairly well. It had been strange and not at all sexy to be doing something so intimate with so many people watching you. I glanced over to where Mark sat on the other side of the room, legs crossed with three books in his lap. Didn’t appear to be too worried about the whole thing from what I could tell.
 When the time came I made my way around the big desk and sat down to look at my character’s computer, giving the impression that I was deep in a series of reports.
 Mark’s character, Agent Charles Rickman, comes in a minute later and slams his palms down upon the desk with a sound so deafening I nearly topple out of my chair. Whoa! Not in the script. The fear and anxiety I feel when I glance up at his enraged face is pretty damn real.
 “I saw the tapes!” Charles/Mark hollers, referring to my character being a double agent and letting the teen mutants escape the facility. “I know what you did. And I’m going to make damn sure you tell me everything you know.”
 He runs around the desk and grabs me by the arms, pulling me towards the door. His grip is tight on my arm and I struggle for a few seconds before going into agent mode and punching him hard in the face. I tried not to hurt him, this was acting after all, but I may have kicked him in the leg...Just a little. What followed was a series of kicks and punches, all lightening fast and what we had been practicing for the past week, Mark was a boxer in real life so it can be kind of intimidating when his fist gets near your face. But I always knew he would pull back at the last second. No worries there.
 But I was worried about the kiss, though. Halfway through a punch Mark pulls me in and presses his lips firmly to mine. I wasn’t expecting his lips to be so soft or his tongue to make its way into my mouth. It was a hungry open mouthed kiss and I felt a searing heat in the pit of my stomach. So this is what it felt like to be pressed up against him, his tongue playing with mine and his hand tangled in my hair. I moaned, wrapping one leg around him before I knew what I was doing. He swept one arm across the table and everything went to the floor. And then he was on top of me, both my legs holding him against me like a vice. I wanted him to rub against me until I came. I wanted…..
 “CUT!” I heard someone yell somewhere off in the background. Mark was off of me in a second, turning around and walking off somewhere in the crowd. I just layed there, trying to get my breath and figure out what the hell had just happened. My pussy was dripping wet and cried out for a vigorous fucking. And I realized that what I wanted was for Mark to give me one. I shook my head, cursing myself for letting things get this far. I just needed more self control. He was an actor. This was a role for him. A job. And I was the chick he had been paired up with that he couldn’t stand. Nothing more.
 *******************************************************************************************************
 Mark was absent that night on Twitter and I wondered if maybe our make out session had gotten to him a little more than I thought it had. But when I got to the set the next day he was the same old Mark as usual, smiling that secretive half smile at the crew and returning to his studies of politics or whatever it was he was reading these days. He noticed me looking his way and gave me a little wave. I gave him the finger back.
 The next scene takes place in my character’s apartment after they leave the office building. It just starts out with us making out right as we get through the door and it moves along into the bedroom. No real nudity, wasn’t that kind of show. But I would take my top off and only Mark and the set would know I was wearing skin colored pasties to cover my nipples. Sorry, people. Like I said, sex scenes are not as romantic as you think they are.
 When the scene started I was once again thrown into a hot kiss with Mark, only this time things seemed different from before. His body moved against mine in a rougher, more desperate kind of way. His mouth started to nip at mine, at one point sucking on my lower lip in a way that made me moan against him and my pussy wetter than it already was. He lifted me up by my hips and carried me into the room, heading right for the bedroom without stopping on the couch as the script had said. Nobody stopped us though, guess the kissing and clawing looked too good to get in the middle of.
 Mark flung me down on the bed, pulling away for a second to loosen his tie and throw it off, something that my lust fueled mind found terribly sexy at that moment. He got down on the bed beside me, as the script had directed and I quickly moved to straddle him, tearing off my blouse in the process. His eyes were dark and unreadable, but his hands moved up and down my side  with a tenderness I hadn’t been expecting after the frenzied love making just moments before. I leaned my face down to kiss him, but he moved my head to the side to place open mouthed kisses along my neck, tongue darting out to skillfully lap at the most sensitive parts of skin. I moaned, grinding my pussy against him. Hard.
 “You need this. You’ve always needed this. Only me. Only me,” he whispered in my ear.
 I shuddered. Not in the script. I could see the dude liked to ad lib. I pushed it all out of my mind as I leaned back and rocked against him, the panties I was wearing and the pants he was wearing not doing much to keep cock and pussy from contact. He had somehow adjusted himself to where his cock was laying against his stomach and I rubbed the head of his dick between my thinly veiled labia. It was all like something two teens would do. And it felt fucking fantastic.
  I leaned my head back as I felt myself coming upon his cock. I didn’t care about the camera on my face, capturing an O face that was actually real. For a second I also forgot about Mark, lost in that magical place a good damn orgasm can take you too. I collapsed onto Mark and he kisses me several times on the forehead. I didn’t remember till later that at that point the director had already yelled cut so Mark had not done it because it was part of the scene.
********************************************************************************************************
   The first thing I did when I got out of there was run back to my trailer and fling myself down on my bed. I just needed to be alone for a while. I had had an actual fucking orgasm. On set. On top of another actor and I felt a lot of mixed up shit about it. Did he know that I had come? What would that be like seeing the dude on set later? Damn. Just. Damn. I didn’t want to think about all that right now. I wanted to think about my pussy, which was still wet and begging for more attention. With a sigh, I started to rub myself through my panties. I didn’t want to reach inside just yet. There needed to be a build up where I wanted to imagine it was Mark’s cock against me through the fabric. His hard, swollen cock I wanted to ride until he filled my pussy full of come.
 A knock at the trailer door pulled me away from my fantasies with a start and I lay there cursing for a moment before getting to my feet to answer it. I expected to find my assistant or someone from the crew telling me that the director wanted me to come back to discuss the scene we had shot. I was shocked to see Mark standing there, his expression unreadable. I glanced over his shoulder but didn’t see anyone looking our way.
 “May I come in.” he asked,
 I stepped back, trying to think of why he would feel the need to talk to me in private. We didn’t really have that kind of thing going. Just social media squabbling and sneaking around each other on set.
 Mark wrapped his arms around me and pushed me back until my back was up against the trailer’s refrigerator. There was a smile on his face that i hadn’t seen him use before. I imagined it was his real smile, a wide and gentle kind of thing that lit up his whole face and made me feel butterflies in the pit of my stomach. He leaned down, kissing me on the nose.
 “Are you okay after all that,” he asked me.
 “Are you checking up on me,” I shot back, still thrown a little off balance that he was here, holding me as if we had been lovers for a long time. I still hadn’t got use to the feeling of his body pressed against mine yet. And, before I could stop myself, I became aware that i was rubbing myself against him in a fair imitation of what we had done before.
 “Someone has to. When was the last time you trusted anybody? Really trusted somebody.”
 “Not any of your business,” I told him, but my arms were still wrapped around him. I didn’t want him to leave. Nothing made much sense to me just then, but I did see that part clearly.
 “I want to be that person. You just have to let me in.”
 Mark kissed me again. But this time there was a slow seduction to his movements and every once in a while he would stop and stare into my eyes as if asking if what he was doing was alright with me. I felt emboldened by his gentleness, letting my hands run through his hair and over his body beneath his white button up shirt. I pushed against his chest and moved us both towards the bedroom in back, I wanted to get him in bed as fast as I could. And I made sure we ditched our clothes along the way, too.
 “You're so beautiful,” Mark tells me, kissing his way along my naked skin. I fall back upon the bed and he spreads my legs, leaning his tall frame down to lick and suck on my wet pussy. I cried out, arching my back and digging my nails into his soft blond hair. I moaned his name as he worked on my swollen clit with his clever tongue, bringing me to an intense peak under his mouth in a short period of time.
 “I need you,” I told him, urging him to get on top of me. I wanted to feel him ride my pussy and make me feel as good as he had made me feel with his mouth.
 Mark followed me up further on the bed, smiling when I held my legs open for him and moaned impatiently. He plunged his tongue into my mouth at the same time he thrust himself inside of me. My body went rigid for a minute as the feeling of being stretched out and filled enveloped me a sensation that was somewhere between pleasure and pain. Then it was replaced with sheer ecstasy as he began to move inside of me, rocking against me in steady but ever quickening thrusts. He kissed my neck, my face and chest, moaning my name like some sort of mantra. His fingers gently removed my nipple coverings so he could suck on each nipple in turn. I smiled, biting my lower lip as I felt my second orgasm coming from somewhere deep inside of me. I it had ever been this good for me before with a lover, I couldn’t remember it. This felt like something new to me. As if I was experiencing sex for the first time.
 “Fuck, yeah,” I heard Mark moan over me, his eyes were partly closed and his head was back a little, lost in the feeling of his impending orgasm. Looking at how beautiful and unguarded he looked in that moment, the calm and confident man I was use to replaced by this animalistic being consumed by his own sensations, pushed me over the edge. I bit him hard on the shoulder as I lost myself in the same explosion of pleasure that was consuming him, The sensation of being filled with his warm come mingled with the sound of him breathing heavily against my neck. I kissed the place where I had bitten him, wrapping my legs tightly around him to hold him in as long as I could. He just seemed to keep filling me up, my hand stroking his back as he continued to empty himself inside of me.
 “We’ll be needed back on set soon,” Mark tells me a few minutes later as we lay wrapped up together beneath the covers, his arm cradling my head.
 “You know, I think I changed my mind about wanting you to be killed off quick,” I tell him, kissing him on the chest.
 “Oh? And what made you change your mind?”
 “Seems I finally found something your good at.”
 “I’m good at a lot of things.”
 I smiled at him mischievously. “Prove it.”  
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astridthevalkyrie · 7 years
Text
A Game of Pretend (Revised)
Modern AU. Hiccup and Astrid are having a normal conversation on the phone, or so Astrid thinks. Oneshot.  
Revised version, with thanks to @athingofvikings’s contributing.
The cliffhanger is finally resolved! 
There wasn't any blood on his face, but Hiccup still felt his vision go blurry. His fingers were touching the sticky hot liquid on his stomach, trying to staunch the flow. With a painful grunt, he slipped away from the wall that had been holding him up, and he fell to the dirty ground; his injured arm took the bulk of the impact and he cried out despite himself, a few tears splashing the ground without his permission.
He laid there for a moment, and them realized that his phone was still in his back pocket.  It took nearly every bit of effort he had, but he managed to twist his phone out from his pocket, managing to keep his screams down to agonized grunts.
The screen was cracked, and he managed to wryly comment, “Here goes nothing...” and hit the power button.
Emergency Call hovered in front of him as the screen lit up.
The ambulance wouldn't get here on time. There was no point. This was it.
He wasn't going to bother calling them. Hiccup shakily unlocked the phone, and hit the shortcut labeled with Astrid’s name and a phone icon.  
After three terrifying rings, his wife picked up the phone.
"Hello? Hiccup?"
"Hey, Ast," he grit out, not making a single agonized sound, no matter how much he wanted to cry out in pain, "what's up?"
Her voice sounded relieved over the phone. "Everything's fine at the office. How did it go? No injuries or anything?"
Hiccup laughed - it would come out as cocky to her, ironic to him. "Of course not. You know me - careful is my middle name."
"I thought it was horrendous."
They both laughed - Hiccup rested his head against the wall with his blood on it, hanging on to her voice. He was going to die. He was going to die right here.
“Your day doing all right?” he asked.  “I went for a walk after the meeting to try out the new prosthetic.”
“How did it go?”
“All right,” he managed, glancing at the broken stump of shattered fiberglass and bent metal attached to his leg.  “How about you?”
“Well, I finished up work early, and...”
He kept the conversation going, wanting to hear her cheerful voice. He didn't want to let go of her, but if he was going to, he didn't want to hear her cry. It might make the pain even worse. It was selfish, but he needed this.
His breath started coming out short, so he let Astrid do most of the talking, which he had no problem with anyway. She told him about her day, and Hiccup felt his eyelids trying to close, but he kept them open for as long as he could, until it seemed unbearable and there were tears flowing down his cheeks.
"Astrid," he whispered, interrupting what she was saying, "I love you."
Her laugh was the last thing he heard as the phone slipped from his hand and he slumped over.
"I love you too, babe. I had a surprise to tell you at home, but since you're getting all emotional on me right now, I'll just tell you. I, uh, well, you know the pregnancy tests I bought yesterday? Hiccup - they came out positive! ...Hello? Are you speechless, I bet Fishlegs ten that you would be. Come on, babe, say something. Hello? Hiccup? Hiccup, we're having a kid! Hiccup?"
Astrid dove through the hospital doors almost before they managed to open in front of her and ran, her phone still held to her ear.  "I'm here!  Where do I go!?"
"Follow the red line on the floor to the ER, Mrs. Haddock," the calm voice of the EMT said, and then there was a moment's hesitation.  "And I'm sorry, but I have to ask... since the muggers took his wallet, do you know if he's an organ donor?"
Astrid felt her whole body chill at that question and the implication behind it. Was she too late…?  Taking a deep breath, she nodded, and then realized that the EMT couldn't see the motion.  "He is.  Said that it was important... but that he never expected...  Oh god!"  She choked, hearing Hiccup's sarcastic comment in her memories.  It's like insurance, right?  You do it just in case, not because it's actually going to happen...
She found the red line and started to run down the hallway at top speed, her stomach churning from something aside from the morning sickness.  Curse the hospital’s inadequate parking; she'd had to find a spot on the other side of the hospital from the emergency room... a spot not far from where her OG-BYN's office was, actually.  Now she had to run like she’d never run before.
"Ma'am, it's fine!  We just had to know.  Just in case."
She didn't have the breath to reply; she was running flat out down the hallway, darting around other patients and doctors like they were opponents on the sports field.  At least one orderly or nurse yelled at her to stop running, but she ignored them.
The red line of paint on the worn linoleum of the floor and the phone at her ear were the entirety of her existence.   
"How is he?" she gasped out, still clutching the phone to her ear like a lifeline.  An hour ago, she'd been ready to share the news with Hiccup that he was going to be a father.
Now... she might be a widow before the nice dinner that she'd left half-assembled on the kitchen counter.  The front door to their home was hanging open from her hurry to get here.  
"We've got him stable, but he's lost a lot of blood from the stab wounds, and there's internal bleeding from the beating he took.  We've got three IVs giving him whole blood, plus saline.  We're going to get him into the operating room as soon as the surgeon is ready to deal with the gut wou--shit!  Stop that bleeder!"
A flurry of alarms came over the phone as Astrid rounded a corner at speed, nearly crashing into some old grandfather using a walker followed by his IV stand.  "Paul!?  EMT Emerson!?  What's happening?"
The EMT didn't answer, but the talk she was hearing over the phone--Hiccup's phone, which she had still not hung up on since this nightmare had begun forty minutes ago, and she was going to kick his ass for not calling the ambulance as soon as the muggers had left him in that alley--terrified her.  Not their tone, but the content hidden among the professional jargon.  She understood quite well what a 'crashing BP' meant, or 'internal hemorrhaging.'
The red line terminated in front of a pair of battered swing doors, above which there was a sign reading EMERGENCY ROOM.
She burst through the doors just as the phone delivered a shrill alarm to her ear, and the call for a crash cart.  
Fishlegs sat next to Astrid as the machines beeped around them.
Three hours of surgery.  Sixteen pints of blood.  A nicked artery in the intestines that had torn open as soon as they'd started raising his blood pressure.  And six stab wounds to the abdomen for the blood to leak out of, plus broken bones, cracked ribs, badly bruised kidneys and liver, a perforated intestine, and purpling bruises on his skin whose imprints made clear impressions of boot heels and fists.
If they hadn't had him in the ER right at that moment when the artery had burst, he would have died.  As it was, the surgeon had told them that it had been touch and go at several points as they’d sutured his arteries shut and had to remove part of his liver.
All over forty dollars and a worn leather wallet and irrational hate over someone who ‘walked funny’.  
They'd already caught the three skinheads who had decided that beating up on a guy with a prosthetic leg would be a fun way to pass a little time.  The one with the knife--still wet with traces of Hiccup's blood caught in the crevasses--had been charged with attempted murder, and his buddies, who had held Hiccup up to be stabbed, were being charged with aiding and abetting.  They hadn’t gone far; just around the corner to a nearby bar where they’d bought some beers and snacks with Hiccup’s credit card.
They were protesting that they were innocent, but that was a little hard to get away with when one of them had been caught with Hiccup's wallet, doing gross things with Hiccup's pictures of Astrid, and another's boots made perfect matches for the bruises.  
The fascist symbols on the boot heels that matched the one on the bruise above Hiccup's kidneys were rather a giveaway...
Fishlegs took a deep sigh.  Stoick would see to it that the two-legged animals that had nearly killed his son would be prosecuted.  Meanwhile, Astrid was finally asleep in the chair next to him.  
Now... they just had to wait for Hiccup to wake up.  
And hope that nothing else would go wrong.
Meanwhile, she had a death grip on his half-broken phone, which she'd reclaimed from the EMTs during the surgery.
He reached over to take it from her and put it to charge with hers, but her eyes snapped open as soon as he touched it. An instant later, she managed to pull the punch to his gut so that it only hurt, rather than knocking the wind from him.  
Staggering back, he wheezed, "You weren't asleep."
"I tried, but I can't.  Not with these... things beeping."
Fishlegs held his hand to his aching gut and nodded.  "Okay."
The nurse came in as the two of them were looking at each other.  Ignoring them, she added something to Hiccup's IV.
"What's that?" Astrid asked anxiously, like she had for every addition to the IV bag in the last six hours.
"Antibiotic for the gastrointestinal perforation--we want to prevent peritonitis from developing," she said professionally.
"And that means?" Astrid asked desperately.  
The nurse gave a professionally even smile.  "Due to the injuries to the intestines, the bacteria inside could leak out into the abdominal cavity and cause infections," she said.  "So we're giving him a standard post-op prophylactic antibiotic."
Despite himself, Fishlegs asked, "What about the chance of resistant bacterial infection?"
The nurse gave him a momentary irritated look, as Astrid asked, "What's that?"
Sighing and shooting Fishlegs another dirty look, she said, "Some bacteria have evolved resistance to the standard antibiotics."  She nodded to indicate Hiccup.  "If he does come down with such an infection, we'll use the second-line antibiotics."  She reached out to Astrid.  "Your husband will be fine."
Astrid nodded and then turned green.  Staggering over to the room's wastebasket, she managed to get her face over it before she vomited into it.  
"Ma'am...  are you alright?" the nurse asked, sounding somewhat concerned.
Fishlegs winced, and stepped over to help Astrid, even if that was limited to handing her a bottle of water and holding her hair up out of the way.  Even as he did so, it felt wrong for him to be doing so, like he was usurping his friend's place at his wife's side.  
Astrid retched again, and gasped out, "I'm pregnant."
"Oh.  And..." the nurse glanced at Hiccup.  "He's the father?"  There was a pause.  "Does he know?"
Astrid gave a half-retch, half-sob.  "I told him... just as he was passing out from blood loss."
The nurse considered that and said, "I'll be right back."
She left, and Fishlegs helped Astrid, whose legs were shaking, back into the chair, and twisted open the bottle of water for her.  
In the background, the machines continued to beep.  
Hiccup was alive... stable... and not waking up anytime soon.  The damage was just too severe, and his body was focusing on healing itself.  If he woke up now, he’d be in agony.
Despite himself, Fishlegs took out his own phone and did a search.
He shouldn't have... because Astrid heard his little hissing gasp, and snatched the phone from his hands without so much as a question.
He grimaced, and a few moments later, she found what he'd searched for.  
"One in twenty-five patients gets infected in the hospital!?"  She looked up at Fishlegs, her expression one of despair.  "Please, please, tell me that he'll be okay."
"He'll be okay," Fishlegs said with as much confidence as he could muster... and resisting the urge to tell her about MRSA, which was his biggest worry.  
He looked at the unconscious body on the bed.  Hiccup's prosthesis was busted, kicked to pieces by the brutes who had attacked him, and his friend looked so small and broken, his body pierced by tubes and kept alive with machines.  
The doctors had told them that if he made it through the night, he'd likely survive.
It was two in the morning.
And Fishlegs wanted to see his friend learn that he'd be a father.  
Hang in there, Hiccup.  Just keep living.  Please.  
Snotlout’s face was red by the time he reached the room Hiccup was in. He saw Astrid, looking ill and leaning against the wall, and Fishlegs, rocking back and forth on a chair with his eyes closed.
And then he saw his cousin, looking in the worst condition Snotlout had ever seen him in, with bruises and cuts and surrounded by machines.
Astrid saw him first, and she opened her mouth, but no words came out. He walked over to her and hugged her tightly. Her eyes were red and bloodshot.
“You’re going to be an uncle,” she whispered in his ear.
Snotlout’s eyes widened and he pulled back, looking her in the eyes, and she nodded with her eyes looking at the floor. “You’re actually…”
“Hiccup p-passed out either before or as I was telling him.”
“Holy shit,” Snotlout whispered, sitting down with his head in his hands. Fishlegs clapped a hand on his shoulder.
His cousin couldn’t have just called a damn ambulance instead of his wife. He had to go ahead and be romantic instead. What about romanticizing life? Astrid hadn’t been the one in danger.
But really, what else could Snotlout expect?
He settled in on one of the uncomfortable chairs and held Astrid’s hand as she stared dully at the monitors.  Once, he would have done anything to be holding her like this.  
Now, he wanted to yell and scream at that younger version of himself with a shout of “Are you happy now!?”
Because he wasn’t.  
Beep... beep... beep... beep...
Snotlout hadn’t been in a hospital for anything worse than a broken arm from a bad moment on the field since his and Hiccup’s grandfather had died when they were young.  
And his memories kept reminding him of that moment of supreme loss when old Hamish had breathed his last and the beeps... stopped.  
He glanced over at Fishlegs, who had gotten here first; the big man looked worn out and tired, and said quietly, “‘Legs, head down to the cafeteria and get something to eat.  I’ll stay with ‘em.”  
Fishlegs looked like he was going to protest for a moment, and then nodded.  As he went to the door, Snotlout cocked his head towards Astrid. “And get something for her, too.”
Another nod, and his friend left to get food.
It wouldn’t help Hiccup any for his wife to starve herself... and she was eating for two.  
The nurse came by on her floor check, and he introduced himself as a part of the family.  He wanted to take her aside and ask, honestly, how bad it was... but there was no way that he was going to leave Astrid alone, or ask that in front of her.  
So he watched as the woman in the blue scrubs did inscrutable things to the various machines, bags and tubes--what she was checking for, Snotlout had no idea--and then left.
He handled the nurse the next few times she came to check on Hiccup. Fishlegs just wasn’t handling it, and he didn’t want Astrid to be lingering on every word the woman said, she was already sick to her stomach.
Then he would sit back and try to calm himself down. It was going to be a long night, and Snotlout didn’t know if Hiccup was going to make it.
Astrid watched as the technician unhooked Hiccup from the dialysis machine; his color was much better than it had been before the treatment.  The kick to Hiccup’s back had injured his kidneys, and to let them heal and keep Hiccup from poisoning himself, they hooked her unconscious husband up to the machine for a few hours each day.  
They were also uncertain about nerve damage to his spine from the same kicks, and his primary doctor had advised her that, despite the liver and kidney damage, it was best to keep him sedated while he healed.  He would be in so much pain when he woke--and it was when, not if, she assured herself--that they were trying to spare him that.
And she just had to hope that they knew what they were doing.  She’d been educating herself on what all of the various indicators meant... and the answers weren’t good.  
He’d lost so much blood--twice what his actual body would normally hold--that he’d be vulnerable to infection while his immune system built back up his antibodies, a thought that terrified her when she’d learned that knife wounds to the intestines were highly likely to become infected.
His ‘intact’ leg was broken in two places and they had needed to use metal pins to put the bones back together, and the skinheads had nearly torn his arm from the socket when they’d been holding him for their knife-carrying friend.  Those would take months to heal, and would require physical therapy.
They were cautiously optimistic that he wouldn’t need a kidney transplant and that the injured organ would heal... but the catheter tube that came out from under the sheet was filled with red, a sight that made her heart jump and her throat swell shut with fear every time she saw it.  
Her phone rang, and her heart sank when she saw the number.
Taking a deep breath, she answered it.  “Yes?”
“Hello, Mrs. Haddock.  This is Alvin, with the insurance company?  We spoke yesterday about your husband’s treatment.”
“I remember.  What about it?”  
“Your case is currently under review, but I’m afraid to inform you that due to the circumstances of your husband’s emergency, we are denying your application for the changed plan to apply to his current treatment, as it counts as a preexisting condition.”  He didn’t sound afraid.  He sounded as if he was enjoying what he was saying.  
Her heart sank.  They couldn’t afford his treatment without that change to the insurance plan.  The deductible was just too much, and Hiccup’s leg was only covered due to his work.
“Please, please, please, reconsider--” she started to say, only for him to cut her off.  “Ma’am, you’ll have to apply for an exemption and a review of your case.  Good day.”  
He hung up.
Astrid looked around the room, at the multiple complicated, expensive machines keeping Hiccup alive...
And hunched her legs up into her chest and cried.  And then had to run for the wastebasket again, as the granola bar and orange that Snotlout had gotten her to eat suddenly turned sour in her stomach.  
“Hey, listen, it’s okay, it’s okay,” Ruffnut murmured, taking a glance back at the boys, who were talking in hushed whispers among themselves. Astrid’s eyes were closed, her face was flushed, and she was letting out labored breaths.
“It’s not okay.” Astrid bit her lip. “No one is sure if he’s gonna wake up or not. And even if he does, he’ll be in so much pain, so much-”
Ruff wrapped an arm around her, rubbing her shoulders. “He’s going to live. That’s gotta count for something.”
“Of course it does, but Ruff, how, in what universe, are we going to be able to pay for all of this?” Astrid put a hand over her mouth and released a sob.
Ruffnut and her brother had been about to board a flight when they were given the news. Fishlegs had texted them both multiple times, and, when they were about halfway there, added that Astrid was pregnant. Tuff had broken a lot of speed limits, and no one stopped him, especially not Ruff. That had been a few days ago.
Now, she held up her crying friend, hugging her and rubbing her back. “Listen, we’re all going to help you. We’re your backbone, Astrid, we have been since high school.” Astrid didn’t appear to hear her. Instead, she gasped, “Something’s wrong.”
“Astrid? Astrid!? What is it!?”
Astrid didn’t answer; her face was contorting with pain; she gave a heaving gasp and grasped her stomach like she was having period cramps dialed up to maximum and the knob broken off.  Her legs buckled and, most terrifyingly of all, a cry of sobbing pain pain escaped her.
Ruffnut swore as Astrid swayed and started to topple, her eyes rolling back into her head before they closed completely.  
“Help!” Ruffnut called as Astrid passed out into her arms.  
Snotlout swore and hit the button to call the nursing station, moving so fast and fluidly that Ruffnut would later realize that he’d been waiting to hit the alarm for hours.  Tuffnut helped her lower Astrid to the floor, both of them grunting with the effort as the other woman tried to unconsciously curl into a ball.  Fishlegs grabbed a pillow and stuck it under her head, and a moment later, the door swung open to reveal the duty nurse.
“What happened?”
Fishlegs said something technical that Ruffnut didn’t understand--it sounded like Sin-cop?--and then Ruffnut noticed that Astrid’s jeans were damp with blood.  
She shrieked and tried to tell the nurse, but couldn’t get the words out, instead just pointing frantically.  
The nurse understood, though; within a minute, there was a gurney coming in through the door and Astrid was loaded onto it by a pair of orderlies, who rushed her out of the door.  The nurse wasn’t looking too hopeful, though.
Ruffnut left with them, trying to understand, while Snotlout and Fishlegs stayed behind.  
But part of her understood what had happened all too well, and she was in denial.
An hour later, Astrid’s gynecologist confirmed it, although he used kind, technical terms, like “spontaneous miscarriage”...
Astrid had lost the baby.
Ruffnut didn’t cry often. But tears sprung to her eyes at this news. Hiccup probably hadn’t even heard enough to know Astrid was pregnant, and now he would have to get the news of the baby and the miscarriage all at once.
Ruff sat down, buried her face in her hands, and wondered why it had all gone so wrong so quickly for the Haddock family.
Tuffnut stood by, feeling useless, as Stoick hugged his sobbing daughter-in-law, heedless of the hospital gown she was wearing, crying that she was going to lose him and had already lost the baby.  The big man had flown in a few hours ago, and was throwing his weight around.  He’d arranged to get both Hiccup and Astrid into a private room, and his lawyer, Gobber, was making sure that the skinheads wouldn’t get off with a slap on the wrist.  Gobber had left a little while ago, an ugly and oddly satisfied chuckle in his voice as he’d considered a way to make those three bastards’ lives hell.  
Tuffnut wished him the best of luck.  Apparently, due to some stupid law on the books around here, it was possible that they might even manage to get the three of them charged with murdering Astrid’s baby.  
Meanwhile, Stoick was assuring Astrid that he’d cover the costs.  Hiccup wouldn’t like that--he made a big deal about not needing his dad for anything--but, as far as Tuffnut was concerned, Hiccup had given up his right to protest over how they paid for his hospital bills when he’d wasted over ten minutes of time when he could have called the ambulance to make a dramatic romantic call instead, between the time he’d talked to her and the time she’d found where he was and sent the ambulance.  
As it was, thank god that he had installed that tracking software on his and Astrid’s phones after they both kept forgetting and misplacing them.  Otherwise, the ambulance would never have found him in time.
He shivered at the thought.
Ruffnut came in, carrying the duffel filled with Astrid’s clothes that she’d gotten from their house.  Thankfully, they hadn’t gotten robbed when Astrid had left in a hurry, but Stormfly had gotten out again, and Fishlegs and Snotlout had spent an hour using the tracking collar to retrieve the cat from the neighborhood’s park two days ago.  Toothless, at least, had stayed.
Tuff cocked his head.  There was something... off about the sound that the machine was making.  How long it had been going on, he didn’t know; the nurse had last checked maybe fifteen minutes earlier.  He listened carefully.  It was very subtle, but he was sure that it was there.
He was about to get to his feet and call attention to it when Hiccup stirred.
He was alive.
That was surprising for some reason, but he couldn’t remember why...
Blinking, he moaned, and a hospital room swam into blurry view.
His dad was looking down at him with concern.
He moaned.  “What happened?”
“What’s the last thing you remember?” his dad asked him.
Hiccup tried to shake his head to clear it, and an alarm went off, making him blink.  Bit by bit, his body was reporting in, and the news was pain.  Lots of it, in many different flavors.  Itchy-burning feeling from his back, a dull ache by his groin, a sharp stabbing pain by his leg, a pulling-tight sensation by his gut, a hot-burning feeling from his shoulder, a cramping sense of hollowness from his stomach...
He wanted to go back to sleep, but he didn’t see Astrid around...
Astrid.  
Right.
“I was talkin’ with Ast... but I don’t remember ‘bout what...” he slurred.
There was a rustling of fabric nearby, and a flurry of voices that sounded like Ruffnut and his wife...
Wait, wasn’t Ruffnut heading off somewhere?  For a something...?  What was she doing here?
They were talking hurriedly, and he strained and managed to turn his head in that direction.  
There was one of those privacy curtains there, with a blushing Fishlegs standing in front of it.  
Huh?  
Stoick leaned in.  “Do you remember what happened to you?”
“Yeah... I went for a walk to try out the new prosthetic...”
He squinted, trying to catch sight of Astrid.  A moment later, the curtain pulled aside and Astrid stepped forward.  
Hiccup drank in the sight of her.  She was wearing a light blouse, which was half-tucked into her third favorite pair of jeans, like she had dressed in a hurry...
And looked like she had barely slept in days.
“Ast...?”
She fell forward and hugged him, kissing him in a flurry all over, gasping out ‘Oh god,’ and ‘thank you’ over and over.  
Despite the pain, he awkwardly hugged her with the arm that hurt less, and a vague memory bubbled up.  “You said that you had a surprise for... me...?”
He caught but didn’t understand the significant looks being shared all around him, and then Astrid seemed to decide something and said, “It’s nothing important.”  She poked him in the nose a little bit hard.  “And that’s for doing something stupid like calling me and pretending that everything was alright instead of calling an ambulance!”
Hiccup made a brief sound of pain, even as he knew what was coming next.  
She kissed him solidly on the lips, and then broke apart.  “And that’s... for everything else.”
“I’m sorry...” he said, remembering that moment of decision.  
“I know,” she said, and then looked up.  “Snotlout, could you get him something to eat if the nurse says that it’s okay?”
Hiccup’s stomach rumbled.  “God, I could eat a horse.”
“Given that you haven’t eaten anything in almost a week, yeah,” Astrid said wryly.  
He got a good look at her eyes; she’d clearly been crying.  
“How bad was it...?” he asked weakly.
She hesitated, and said, “Really bad.  Don’t you ever do that to me again, Hiccup Haddock!”
“Promise.  I won’t.”
“Good.  Rest.  We’ll get you out of here as soon as we can.”
“Okay.”  He closed his eyes and fell back asleep.  
Epilogue: Sixteen months later
Looking at Astrid curiously, her daughter wrapped her hand around the offered finger.
Astrid closed her eyes for a second, and then held her daughter tighter, kissing the top of her head.
They were in the hospital again. She hated the place--she wanted out, but unfortunately, they’d be there for a few more days for her to recover. Astrid wanted to scream at the nurses that she’d recover much faster at home, at least mentally. But she kept her mouth shut, just relieved that her baby girl had been born, healthy and in great condition.
Astrid looked at her husband, who was watching them, with a kind of quiet admiration in his eyes. He didn’t look relaxed, per se, but he wasn’t tense either. He too, must have just been relieved.
She had never told him about the first pregnancy.
She had pleaded for anyone who knew not to tell him. There was no point, no point at all in telling him something so painful, and then waiting for the inevitable self-blame. Hiccup was horribly noble, and she just wasn’t ready to talk about her unborn child as though it was anyone’s fault. It was a child, a baby, and it had passed away before knowing life.
So Astrid pretended like the baby had never existed. She pretended like one of the happiest moments in her life, when she had seen the positive results on the pregnancy test, had never happened. And she pretended like all the pain she had been in when she lost the baby was just something out of a story. Hiccup was left in the dark, and she preferred to keep it that way.
Her baby, her pain, her secret.
Hiccup looked at his wife and daughter as the newborn got her second-ever meal and smiled.  The scars from his assault still twinged occasionally, and he got reminded of ‘the time you were a stupid selfish romantic idiot’ on a regular basis from everybody.  He’d never live it down, but that was okay.  He, at least, was going to live.
Unlike their first child, who everybody pretended never existed around him, and he pretended that he didn’t know, as if he had never found out from the court documents.  He’d caused Astrid enough pain; he wasn’t going to force her to relive those horrible moments.  It was the least he could do, after how he had pretended that all was well when it had begun.
So Astrid acted as though it never happened, and he acted as though he knew nothing of it.
It was their little game. A game of pretend.
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Dauntless: Daddy Dearest (Part 8)
Tumblr media
Eric x Reader
Warnings: Language, Violence, Angst
"Hi, Kai! Look at Mommy!" I heard Camille coo from the other room, using that baby voice of hers. "Mommy's gonna getcha toes!"
I sighed as I ran a towel through my short hair, the mirror in front of me steamed up. Camille was entirely focused on the kid now, who was just big enough where she wasn't frightened to death if she laid him in the floor for a few seconds. He was eating his hands at this point, making little baby sounds, filling up his diapers like a champ.
He peed on me once, so I wasn't sure if that was a show of dominance or not.
I took it as one.
I pressed my hand against the mirror, slowing swiping at the steam built up there. My piercings glinted back at me, and so did my permanent frown. I was tired, I'd let Camille sleep last night and had taken care of Kai when he cried; he wasn't so bad now, he only cried maybe once a night, and once I picked him up and bounced him a little he was fine.
Sure, the first month had been hell, but the second wasn't so bad; that or we were both getting used to it.
Although, the sex... I wasn't used to that yet.
I sighed again as I finished dressing, stepping out the open bathroom door. I gazed down the hallway, seeing Camille had Kai on his back in the floor, her legs criss cross as she sat in front of him. She had his little toes between her fingers, making silly faces down at him.
So tough.
"Now how is he supposed to instill fear when you're grabbing his toes?" I chuckled as I walked inside, Camille sending me a look.
"He's a baby, he's not supposed to be tough," she rolled her eyes as she leaned her head back so I could give her a quick kiss. "Not for another few years."
"Ahuh. I still think he'll be leading the daycare into a riot when he's a toddler."
"That's what you hope."
True.
"Coffee?"
"Yes, please."
I grabbed two cups from the cabinet, setting them down before filling them up. I glanced back as Kai made a squealing sound, and Camille's face lit up.
"Did you hear that? He just laughed!" She gasped, a smile lifting her lips.
"Sounded more like a squeal to me."
"It was a laugh, Eric!"
Yeah, sure, whatever.
Squeal.
I just shrugged my shoulders, setting her coffee down on the coffee table before sitting on the sofa. Kai waved his fists around indignantly when Camille stopped touching him, reaching for her cup.
"How old does he have to be before he starts doing things?"
"Doing things?" Camille quirked a brow at me as she sipped her coffee.
"Yeah. Walking, talking, stuff like that."
"Not for a bit. Usually they're about one before they start walking, I think."
"So he's just going to be a wallowing loaf for another ten months?"
"Eric." She frowned at me. "Stop comparing him to a loaf of bread."
"That's what he looks like."
Her frown increased.
Hey, I wasn't going to lie. A loaf of bread is a loaf of bread!
In this case, one that screamed a lot.
Screaming loaf.
To make my point, the burrito let out a screaming wail, startling Camille so badly she nearly spilled her coffee. She sighed as she sat the cup down, wiping at her lips with the back of her hand before reaching for him, her voice soft and warm.
When I screamed at her I got a completely different reaction.
"Do you have to work today?"
"No. Not today," I lean back into the sofa cushions, sipping my coffee. "Max is giving me a break."
"Good." Camille relaxes slightly. "It'll be nice for all of us to be together before I begin with the new initiates. They'll be here in a few more weeks."
"Yep." I frowned into my coffee. "How are you doing with him in daycare? Getting more rest?"
"Yeah, but I miss him." She brushed her fingers through his black curls, his fingers in his mouth again. "I wake up looking for him and nearly have a panic when I can't find him."
Mothers.
"Can you watch him for a few minutes? I'll start us some breakfast."
"You don't want to go to the hall?"
"No. You know they don't want the kids in there when the soldiers from the wall are switching." she says, climbing to her feet. I set my cup down, switching places with her in the floor. "They're too rowdy for the children."
"I don't know, that daycare is pretty brutal," I reply, looking down at the son I fathered. He stares at me with big, wide eyes, gumming his fingers to death. "Two kids tried to kill one of their teachers, there was lots of blood, some goring."
I knew Camille rolled her eyes at me, but half of it was true.
"Yes, I'm sure."
I chuckled, and picked Kai up, keeping my hands firmly around his waist as I pull him to me. His wet fingers immediately latch around my thumb, just big enough to encircle it before he tried to bite it as well. My lips twisted as I pulled away from him, seeing his small mouth pucker like he wanted to cry before his fingers were being gnawed on again.
He just kept looking at me, occasionally blowing bubbles, flailing his free hand around a little; he had a tough grip, strong fingers.
"He'll be one of the best fighters in Dauntless one day," I say, straightening his blanket before letting him rest on his stomach, his little feet kicking the floor. "His grip is already strong."
"What if he doesn't want to be a fighter? What if he wants to be a farmer one day?"
"Amity?" I snorted at that. "No way. Not my kid."
"Got something against them?" Camille sounded amused, and she wasn't fighting with me, for once.
"No, of course not. But Kai has a lot to live up too, being our kid. He has to carry on our reputations." I replied, lightly rubbing the crown of his head, feeling how soft his hair was. "If we really mess up with him though, we can just have another one, do it right?"
"Ha! We better do right with him," Camille scoffed, and I sent her a smirk.
"What? Didn't enjoy being pregnant?"
"Eric, let me shove a pineapple up your ass and you push it out and tell me if it's enjoyable."
I laughed at her, I couldn't help it; she sent me a nasty look over her shoulder from the stove, and Kai let out another squeal, as if he knew what had been said.
"See! That's a laugh!"
"I think he just knows he can make noises now," I chuckled, but I hesitated as I heard a knock on the door. My eyes flicked to Camille, who frowned as she looked at how early it was.
"I got it," I muttered, starting to stand.
"Pick him up then! Don't leave him lying there by himself!"
"What? Where is he going to go? He can't even roll yet."
"Eric."
Jeez.
I frowned as I lifted the loaf into my arms, cradling him against my shoulder as I moved towards the door. His fingers latch tightly into my t shirt, and he nuzzles his face into the warmth of my neck.
For fucks sake, he was adorable.
I tugged the door open, frowning.
"Mel, what are you doing here?" I muttered, keeping my voice soft. Mel stood stiffly in the doorway, looking like she'd rather melt through the floor then have to face me after the other night; I mean, I'd sort of shoved her into the floor and basically told her drunk ass to fuck off, so no doubt it damaged our so meaningful relationship.
"Max wanted me to tell you that the op is finished for the most part," she said after a moment, her eyes going to the baby I held against my shoulder. "Four has agreed to oversee the rest of it, him and Tris both. Someone will be stopping by later with some papers you need to overlook, detailing the incident with the factionless."
Kai shifted at her voice, his blue eyes finding her after a few moments. She blinked at him, almost distrustfully.
"So that's your thing, then?" Her hands went to her hips as she looked at him. "He definitely has your eyes, I guess he is yours after all."
I heard something clang rather forcefully behind me, and I sighed; no doubt Camille heard that comment, and she didn't like Mel anyway. I'd never told her that we used to be fuck buddies, but I figured she knew as much.
"His name is Kai," I said simply, not wanting Camille to tangle with Mel in the middle of the hallway; she wasn't in top shape yet.
"Huh." Mel narrowed her gaze at him, which is enough to make most men cower back. Kai just looks at her, his thumb gravitating inside his mouth again, and my lips twitch; boy was as brave as an infant as I was as an adult.
"Is that all you needed?" I said after a moment, the scent of breakfast hitting my nose; my stomach wanted to rumble, I didn't realize how hungry I was! "Little man is ---."
"Yeah, that's all." Mel waved her hand dismissively, taking a step back, as if she couldn't wait to get far enough away from me. "See ya."
I watched curiously as she took off down the hall, disappearing around the corner quickly; huh, if I knew being around a baby would make her run away, I would have brought Kai with me to work.
"What kind of shit comment was that?" Camille hissed the instant I closed the door, wielding a long spoon as if she was going to whap me with it. "The fuck does she mean, 'I guess he is yours?'"
"That's just Mel for you," I shrug.
"I should fucking break her neck for that comment," my girlfriend growled, glaring down at the eggs she was cooking. "Stupid fucking cunt."
I chuckled, and slipped Kai down into the little seat trap Camille had at the table. I strapped him in the best I could, all that thing lacked was manacles to hold him in place.
"Did I do this right? Is there also a head brace I'm missing?"
Camille glanced behind her at the seat, then shook her head. "No, it's fine. Here." She turned, setting two plates on the table. I went for our coffee cups, grabbing them and topping them off before returning to the table. She sat down beside our kid, who was already starting to look sleepy.
I glanced at Camille as I picked at my breakfast, studying her.
I loved this woman, and I think I did so more now then even before, if that was possible. She was tough, and even after having a baby, she was ready to pound someone's face in for an errant comment. She was tough, the epitome of what Dauntless stood for, and I doubt I could have picked a better woman to accidentally have a kid with.
"Why are you looking at me like that?" Camille frowned at me from beside Kai. "I didn't poison your food, Eric, you've not pissed me off enough."
"I was just thinking about how much I love you," I reached forward, curling my fingers through hers.
She blinked at me a moment, as if surprised. "Oh." She looked down at a moment, frowning at her plate. "Now I'm not sure if I poisoned it or not. Are you feeling alright?"
I grinned. "I'm fine. I just love you. Is it that weird that I'm saying it?"
"Considering it's not after we've just fucked, kind of. I mean, I love you too," she adds hastily, giving me a small small. "Not saying I don't, I just ---."
"I know." I tighten my hold on her fingers as they lace through mine, warm. "I don't say it enough, but I do. Otherwise we wouldn't be in this."
"You mean you would have bailed the first moment you realized I was carrying your spawn?"
"Possibly."
She rolled her eyes at me, glancing at our son. Funny how easy it was to think of him like that now, at some point I accepted it. Not like I had a choice, he's around for the next sixteen years regardless of whether I wanted to acknowledge his existence or not.
"He looks a lot like you, you know. Your eyes, and I'm pretty sure he got your nose."
"Looks like his hair is black, like yours."
"But he has that lax curl like yours."
"I don't have curl."
"You would if you let your hair long enough."
"I do not have curl."
"Eric."
"No."
She smiled, and stood slightly so she could lean across the table, kissing me softly. I leaned into her lips, returning the affection.
Man how I wished I could take it further.
~~~~~~~
"So, how's fatherhood treating you?" Zeke asked as he followed me through the compound; we were going to greet the new initiates on the rooftop today, Camille was going to meet us in the training room after she dropped Kai off at daycare; it was her first time visiting that place, and since I'd been bringing him every morning, I felt it was much more under control.
"What does it matter?" I grunt in annoyance; I'd already had to change my shirt twice today with Kai spitting up on me after his breakfast, but I was quickly growing immune to baby puke; at least it hadn't been pee this time. I wasn't going to be very intimidating to new recruits smelling like that.
"Just curious. You seem much more toned down since Camille popped the thing out."
"Toned down?" I frowned as I glanced back at Zeke, both of us starting up the steps to the roof. "The fuck do you mean by that?"
"Just that you're not throwing temper tantrums every five minutes. Usually someone looks at you the wrong way and you're ready to punch their throat in."
"I've more important things to worry about then some asshole," I responded in irritation; I wasn't toned down by having a kid, I hadn't changed at all! I was still the same person, I just... didn't view everything as a confrontation, I guessed. I was thinking about other things, what I was going to come home too, if Kai was going to be needing more stuff, if Camille needed a break tonight --- all of that seemed more important these days.
I ignored Zeke as we went up the steps, the metal clanging beneath our boots until we reached the roof. We walked over to the edge, and I could already hear the train in the distance.
One day, Kai would be jumping off that thing, coming to a rolling stop on the roof. Of course he would be the first to volunteer to jump off into the net below, he wouldn't be afraid of a drop like that. No, he was going to make me proud, and he was going to make Camille so happy he was her son.
I crossed my arms, wondering what he would look like when he got that big. Would he still have my eyes? Her hair? Would he be tall and broad like me, or smaller framed like her? I would prefer he take after me, of course, but slim would be acceptable, so long as he was fast, could get in quicker punches and dodge.
I'd have to teach him that early.
Sure, I didn't really start buffing out until my teenage years, until I was just about to go to my own initiation, so even then there was hope. He could be a skinny loser for a while before my genes really kicked in.
I knew Camille was obviously against the idea of a second kid, but it could always be a possibility. She would still be able to have them in sixteen years, right? Women could have children for ages, after all; if Kai really did abdicate the faction, we'd have another kid and we'd do it right that time.
The thought bothered me, him not wanting to be Dauntless, and the damned kid was only two months old!
There was too many years between then and now, I'd just have to make sure that Kai knew how good of a faction this was, how honorable it was to be apart of it. I would make sure he knew this was his home, where he was meant to be, and that any other faction was absolutely below him.
He wouldn't dare be Amity by the time he was sixteen.
"Here the kiddos come," Zeke said, bringing me out of my thoughts. I watched as the train doors opened, as black-clad teenagers began tossing themselves onto the roof, rolling to a stop with whoops and yells of victory, as if they thought the hardest part was over. I noticed a few other factions colors, but no Abnegation this year. It's rare they jumped faction; Four and his bitch girlfriend were rarities.
Time for another round.
~~~~~~~
"This is Camille, she's going to be your trainer while you're here," I told the transfers where I stood in front of them; my girl looked as imposing as usual, dressed in black, her eyes painted up like before she had the baby. She looked like her old self, complete with that ass-kicking smirk on those red lips. "You'll learn from her everything you need to survive this faction, from fighting to being able to stand the tests. I'll be taking you out on trips to the wall and through simulations. Four will handle the rest."
Four didn't seem pleased by the introduction, but I didn't care.
"Alright, transfers, follow me," Camille called, her hands on her slim hips; her chest might be rather big at the moment, but the rest of her looked as delectable as it used too. She made for one nice looking little number in the way those black jeans hugged the curve of her ass, too, I could appreciate that. "I'll show you where you're going to be living for the next few weeks. I hope you don't mind public bathrooms."
"Not if we get to share them with you," one of the boys smirked, and I narrowed my eyes immediately at the comment. Camille's eyes went to me immediately, tensing, as if she expected me to go stomping over and smash my fist into the side of the Candor's head; I was only going to shake him by his throat.
"Watch your mouth, transfer," Four barked just as I took a step forward. "You either show respect to your trainers or you can expect to be factionless, is that clear?"
I glowered at the kid, who looked a little surprised at the fact anyone even said something to him. Camille rolled her eyes, motioning once more with her hand for the kids to follow before she started off --- was it me or was her hips swaying a little more then usual? So help me if even one of them looked at her ass ---.
"No beating the transfers on their first day, Eric. We don't need them dead," Four said flatly, just loud enough where the boy at the back of the group could still hear. I saw him glance back uneasily. "We're here to train them."
"If they can't control themselves, and show respect, we don't need them." I snapped at him; that kid already signed his death warrant with me, I was going to make sure to run him ragged every second I got.
Camille was mine, an no one else was going to be rude to her.
~~~~~~~
"Do you think Kai is doing alright?" Camille murmured, sitting beside me in the cafeteria; it was custom for all of us to gather on the first day when the new initiates came in; they would start their training tomorrow, but today was one of celebration. "I mean, I usually check on him by now, what if something has gone wrong?"
"I'm sure he's fine," I said, propping my chin on my hand as I looked at her; she worried too much over the loaf. "If something wasn't, they would tell us."
"I'm not so sure about that, that daycare is a disaster," she grumbled, glaring down at the tray of food she had yet to touch. "I walked in and one of the teachers was crying."
"She does that, just overlook her," I sipped my drink, gazing around the loud and busy room. We'd found a table to the back, the seats around us still open; I wasn't surprised, Camille might have friends but no one wanted to be around me. "He's fine."
"But what if he's not?" She pressed, grimacing. "He's never been away from one of us this long."
"Camille, he doesn't know the difference right now, all he cares about is eating his fingers."
"Still. I can't remember if I sent his socks or not. What if his toes are cold? Do you think they check for that? They're so ---."
"Camille," I groaned, leaning back on the bench to look at her. "Stop. You're going to give yourself a panic attack. He's fine. He'll continue to be fine. I think you're the one who has issues with being separated."
"He's my son, Eric, I care about him." She glared at me.
"I know that. But panicking every five seconds when you're separated is going to make him into a little bitch who can't do anything on his own."
"He's two months old!"
"Almost three. Soon he'll be one, and then five, and then sixteen. If we want him to be able to take care of himself, you can't be worrying about him ---."
"Eric, you fucking idiot, he's a baby! He can't take care of himself, I have every right to be worried over him! You're not the one who spent nine months carrying him around!"
"No, but it certainly felt like it," I snapped, frowning at her; she didn't have to get a tone with me. "You made sure I didn't fucking forget."
She sucked in an indignant breath, her face flaring with color as she stared at me. She gave it a moment, her fingers curling into fists before she abruptly stood, stepping off the bench and storming out of the room.
I sighed, sitting my cup down.
What was I going to do with her? I get it, the kid was little, he needed us right then, but she didn't need to worry herself into getting wrinkles over it. Still, he was fine, the daycare took pretty decent care of the kids when the main lady was in control. It wasn't like those twins were going to burn it down or trap all the teachers in a closet or anything.
...
Son of a bitch.
Now I had to check on him.
~~~~~~
"I told you he was fine," I said, coming up to stand behind Camille where she knelt by Kai in the daycare, checking the warmth of his toes and fussing over him. I figured she would be here, plus she'd made me worry a little too, not that I would admit that. The daycare man just glanced at me as I swept by, but didn't comment as I went to where my girlfriend knelt; they'd all learned just to take my kid when I dropped him off, assure there would be control, and let me leave.
"What do you care?" Camille hissed over her shoulder at me, her long hair tangled as it slipped down her back. "You wouldn't know if a dog had eaten him or not!"
I rolled my eyes as I leaned against the wall, Kai's eyes following me. He gurgled, flailing at the air with tiny, sock-clad hands. I get they had to do that to make sure he didn't scratch himself, babies fingernails grew just like everyone else's, but it still looked weird to me.
"I check on him during the day,Camille. I come in at lunch and I pick him up. He's not just sitting here with no attention, the people are capable enough." Well, now they were, anyway.
She gave me the cold shoulder, ignoring me as she cooed down at our baby. He flashed his gums at her, trying to grab her finger, but she knew better; we might be used to baby spit, but that didn't mean we wanted it on us 24/7.
"Feel better about it now?" I asked after a moment, and she sighed, cutting her eyes back up at me.
"You piss me off, Eric. He's a baby, and he needs attention pretty regularly. Don't tell me I shouldn't be attached to him right now, we're not all as heartless as you."
I twitched; the insult shouldn't bother me, it never had before, but did she really think I didn't care about my own kid?
"I care about him, Camille, why else would I be here?" I muttered, squatting down beside her and where Kai sits in the small carrier, fat legs kicking. "I just don't want you worrying yourself until you're sick, or you're unable to train the initiates. You love your job, but if your mind is elsewhere, you're not going to be able to do it. You'll get moved."
Camille frowned, dark eyes glancing at me. "You still sound like an asshole."
"I'm being practical. Unlike Abnegation, we don't have stay at home mothers. We're all soldiers, we all have a job to do. Being away from Kai should give you some normalcy again, give you time to rest." I reached forward, brushing her hair behind her ear. "That's what you need right now."
"It doesn't seem like it," she sighed, her shoulders slumping. "I feel like I'm going crazy."
"You are crazy, but it's what made me love you," I cluck, earning a nasty look but a small smile. "Now, c'mon, he's fine. The initiates are good for the rest of the day, grab him and let's head home. We all have early mornings."
She sighed, but nodded her head in resignation.
Plus, she needed to eat something.
Camille was always a handful when she was hungry.
~~~~~~~
"There we go," I sighed, bouncing Kai lightly, his loud demon shrieks starting to slack; he didn't want to sleep tonight apparently, when he should be worn out from all the playing fifteen minutes earlier. Kai whimpered against my shoulder, black hair tickling my jaw as he nuzzled closer to me; I might not be able to hear out of that ear for a few days, but as long as he was sleeping, I didn't care.
I gave it a few more minutes, pacing back and forth along his nursery, talking softly to him like Camille does. It seemed to help him, he calmed down a little anyway. Finally, he started snoozing, and I took the opportunity to put him back in the crib. I hovered over him a moment, waiting for those blues to open and for the shrieking to begin again, but he remained quiet this time. I took an uneasy step back, then another, and another until I was at the door. I stayed there for a few more minutes, just to make sure, but he continued to sleep.
I frowned, slowly closing the bedroom door, praying that it didn't squeak or make any kind of sound that would wake him back up. I held my breath as the door shut firmly.
Quiet.
I crept away to the living room, seeing Camille sprawled across the sofa, her face buried in one of the throw pillows.
"He's down, I think," I said softly, not wanting to speak too loudly in case it bothered him. She slowly raised her head, bleary eyes finding mine.
"Are you sure?"
"Well, he's not screaming anymore."
She took that as enough answer, sitting up so I could plop down beside her, letting my head rest back against the couch with a sigh.
How did people do this?
Camille curled around me, letting her head rest on my chest as her arm slipped around my waist. I let my fingers tangle in her dark hair, feeling how soft it was, just like Kai's.
"How long until he stops doing this?" I mumbled, letting my eyes close for a few seconds. Camille snorted.
"When he's no longer living with us?"
I chuckled, shuffling down a little lower, propping my feet on the coffee table. "And how many more years do we have of that?"
"Sixteen."
Great.
"Do you still want another one?" Camille asked in amusement, her lips pressing into my t shirt.
"Not immediately."
"Not... so does that mean that you do want another one?" She almost sounded incredulous, and I looked down as she sat up. "Like seriously?"
"Well, I --- I don't know." I blinked at her. "Not any time soon, no. Kai is a handful in himself."
"That's not a no, Eric. You said you didn't even want one, let alone two."
"I never said that."
"Not in so many words, but it's the truth. Neither of us wanted kids, and now you ---."
"Camille, I never said that I wanted a second child." Was this going to be a fight? It felt like it was going to be a fight. "Earlier, I was joking, I didn't mean ---."
"So just one then?" She pressed, and I shuffled uncomfortably.
"What's going on?" I asked after a moment, studying her face. "Are you wanting another one or something?"
She hesitated.
Shit.
She did, didn't she?
"Not right now," she shook her head, frowning. "But Kai is going to get lonely if it's just him, isn't he?"
"I wasn't lonely and I was an only child." I pointed out, which only made her frown worse.
"Look how you turned out, Eric."
"I think I turned out fine. I bagged you, didn't I?"
She rolled her eyes; was this something she'd been giving some serious thought too, or just a whim? Our kid was just three months old, or nearly there, we didn't have time to start thinking about another one. I doubted I could handle more screaming from the baby and her, and the hormones she'd had during the pregnancy had drove me up the wall.
Plus, we'd actually have to fuck if she wanted a second spawn.
This had been a no fucking zone for months.
"This is serious, Eric."
"I get that. But why a second one? Kai is going to be fine on his own, he'll be strong. Plus, he'll have plenty of kids to keep him entertained when he starts school. Having a sibling to worry about and look after ---."
"What? You think one of them will go bad like my brother?" Camille snapped, and I stopped immediately, staring at her.
Her brother had been a definite bad egg, jumped faction, literally stabbed Camille so she wouldn't stop him and left her for dead. She'd ended up shooting him during one of our missions, when we'd run into him and he'd still attempted to kill her. They had some bad blood between them, but ---.
"Our kids won't be like that." I said thoughtlessly, shaking my head. "Kai would never turn on anyone, he'll be loyal."
"I thought Dante was like that too, but look what happened!"
"So then why do you want a second?" I was growing confused. Did she want another one or not? What was this about?
Camille stood with a frustrated sound, shaking her head as she paced away from me. I watched her, sitting on the sofa, wondering what the fuck was going on in my life.
How did it get this complicated?
Why couldn't we just fuck? Maybe that would settle her down, help her relax --- it used to help, anyway. I wasn't going to initiate it, considering the last time we'd started she'd ended up crying and it had been awkward for a few minutes. I get her body was still all strange, but my body was starting to get pretty fucking uncomfortable at this point.
I'd never gone so long without sex, and the longer the time racked up, the worse it seemed to get.
"Camille ---."
"Just never mind!" She hissed at me, before turning on her heel and stomping towards our bedroom. I groaned as she closed the door too loudly, holding my breath and then closing my eyes in resignation as Kai began to cry.
This was going to be a long night.
Tags: @jcause.    @elaacreditava.       @riegan.   @deathbyamonster @pathybo@buried-in-books   @miss-evil-oneggggggg.  @maquet-lambb.  @jojuarez26. @ljvosscmt    @beltz2016 @magellan-88     @kenzieam     @tigpooh67   @rred87@lauraaan182    @fuckthatfeeling
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hi-whatsup-blog · 6 years
Quote
Love
Pretty much everyone sometime
This is the story of my first heartbreak that isn’t leaving my head even after nearly a year later and led me to depression.
I was 16. I was 15 when I met this boy on an app called Kiwi. It was designed to ask questions and get answers and stuff like that and I was famous on it. I had a lot of followers and me and the other famous people were close internet friends. I met this boy. JWonderstellar. It was his @. His real name is different. I would love to expose this asshole to the world, but I’m not like that. Those who know him know that that is his gamertag. I won’t expose his real name but I already did expose his @, soooooo… If you’ll play against a JWonderstellar one day, please kill him as often as possible. And if you’re on a chat with him, say hello from Luxembourg, and tell him it comes from you know who.
Now here’s the story.
We chatted for a while on Kiwi. I’m a pretty nice person with a good humour and we were having fun just talking. He then asked me for his number and we were talking on WhatsApp. Now, sounds okay. Problem? Boy is from Switzerland and I am from Luxembourg. 400 km. Not a chance we would see each other in the close future. Still, on the 11th of March 2016 he asked me to be his girlfriend. Over text of course, cause I was in school and we couldn’t call each other. I said yes because I didn’t see the problem. We were calling each other nearly every evening until one of us fell asleep. We skyped as often as we could. We talked about everything. I fell hard. We had a lot of arguments but we always got back on track.
Now here’s the thing. I was overweight. Not too much, but you could definetely see it. BMI of 27. He knew this. We talked a lot about me. He wrote me texts that must’ve taken him hours because they were so long. He built me up. I had walls up that he destroyed. I had my heart protected but he stole it. I sent him my favourite sweater for him to know how I smell because we had to wait until Christmas to see each other because our holidays were different. And there was literally no chance for us to see each other and kiss and stuff in person. Yes sex too. Not a thing. I was a virgin. SUPRISE I still am. He built a fundament of trust in me that made it possible for me to let him in and love him even though I only knew him from chat and skype.
I still fell in love. I fell in love with the boy that made me happy. We had a future. But then he said a stupid, stupid thing. He said “You know, I don’t like your body the way I always told you.”
Crash. Burning world. Sirens and stuff.
I was like “what”.
He immediately apologized. But I wanted to know what he meant with this. He then kind of confirmed his statement and when I pointed it out he was like “Oh shit, I’m sorry” and he did this 5 or 6 times. I thought about what to do for 2 days.
The problem with this statement is, that it ruined the fundament my love and my trust towards him was built on. With the fundament blowing up, everything was kind of hanging loose, not belonging anywhere. The love was still there, because as I said we had a future and he was serious husband material until the 24th of November 2016. I could have loved him until I died but I had to let go. My heart was broken and shattered in a million of peaces. The trust was gone. I asked him to delete every bodypicture he got from me. With or without clothes. I broke up with him per voice memo on the 26th of November 2016. I was trying to call him but he knew what was coming and was crying really hard so he ignored it. I tried to make it as personal as possible so I made a voice memo. I didn’t eat after that. I didn’t talk much. We still called each other 2 times after that. I then cried very much. I cried for 2 or 3 weeks straight every evening. We stopped talking after a while. Then, for Christmas, he wrote me “I would be there with you now.”. I hadn’t blocked him because we didn’t wrote each other anymore, why would I block him if I could just put the chat in the archive and wouldn’t have to see it again. I responded with “Shit happens.” I was over the sadness. What comes after the sadness is the anger.
I was angry at him for having done this to me. Telling me he loved my body only to announce that it was a lie for 8. straight. months. Someday in February I was over him. Little did I know it didn’t end there. Everytime something happened that remind me of him, reading the world Switzerland, or his name or hearing the names of the games he liked to play (Battlefield, Call of Duty and Black Ops 3, you know what to do;)) or seeing someone that looked like him, my mood dropped. Not because I was missing him. Hell nah. Uh uh. Because it reminded me of my still broken trust.
I haven’t been able do repare my heart or my trust to 60 %. He was the first one I committed to, so I was broken pretty badly. Still am. I had a date in January sometime. I friendzoned the guy. I wasn’t ready. In february, an old friend of mine and I were talking when he asked me to come visit him because he just left the hospital and was at home. We then kinda talked each other into feelings and stuff, 2 days after my visit at his home, we decided to call it quits because we just won’t be working. To this day, my trust had been repared a little bit. It broke apart after this mutual decision. I kinda clinged on the thought to having found someone that could love me even though I put on 20 additional kg because of the heartbreak. Well, shit happens.
Then a few moths later, I got to talk to a guy called Tom. He was really nice and I enjoyed talking to him. We met up and were going for a walk, only talking, no touching, no kissing. We then continued talking and stuff and I had hopes that this could be it. It was all so good and it was really nice and stuff and we were talking everyday. Until one day, JUST LIKE THAT, he wrote “I’m sorry, I won’t come to our date tomorrow. I’m not ready for a relationship.” It was a punch in the face. I didn’t know what I had done. I replied with “Who said I am ready. But it doesn’t matter, this is your decision and I respect that. It was nice meeting you :)” He responded with “Nice meeting you too :)”. That’s the story of Tom. The 2nd person I kinda ruined things without knowing how.
Probably because I liked the thought of having someone that I made everything move pretty quickly. I don’t know.
After Tom I pulled out of the dating world. I didn’t go out, I was at home watching series. I then met Timo, on the same app I met Tom. I’m still talking to Timo now after a month and we met up and cuddled and it was really cute.
Now here’s the thing. I have no idea how to tell Timo that I am depressed. That I sometimes hurt myself to cope with my life. That I tried to kill myself once. All of this since Dezember 2016 until now.
I like him, he deserves the truth. He hasn’t seen the wound on my wrist yet (Story in the post about Auschwitz) and if he does, I won’t tell him what is going on. I’ll tell him when I’m sure he won’t leave me. I can’t cope with another person that leaves. I need him. No, wrong. I need someone to love. That loves me back. (Update: He left me too) Until then I’ll be here in my dark whole in a bad mood every evening and depressing thoughts every day.
In the post about Auschwitz, I wrote that the third night was hard for me because I cried, but not because of Auschwitz. I realized that there was a boy with us that looked just like JWonderstellar. Once again, I have been reminded of the situation he put me in. My mood sunk, and because I already had this depression thingy, I started crying. I never talked to this boy and avoided him pretty much all the time, but it led to the point where I had to tell someone what was going on. Now, all of my friends knew what was going on between JWonderstellar and me, but only my closest friends knew what was going on later on. Yet nobody knew about the wounds and the depression and the suicide attempt. I had to tell somebody cause I was going crazy. I told Hugo and it was all okay for 2 seconds.
After that I still cried but at least I could tell him and when he could he would come and hug me. I could cry in his arms and wet his sweatshirt and it was all okay. For 2 seconds.
And that’s how a single person that I committed everything to ruined my life.
- L
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jamesbuckfastbarnes · 7 years
Text
A Night To Remember.
I decided to write this in order to try and improve my smut writing, so I hope you all like it and sorry it’s so long! - red-w00dy xoxo
P.S - I don’t even know if this is nearly accurate enough in terms of losing your virginity in a bed with someone who knows what they’re doing. I lost mine to my ex best friend’s boyfriend in a field, lasted about ten minutes and was very disappointing overall for little fourteen year old me so let me know if I got this completely wrong, thank you! - RW xoxo
“Jackson Nathaniel Teller, you old bastard!” I yelled, quickly climbing off the back of my dad's motorcycle and darting across the lot to where the blonde was stood. Jax looked up when he heard my voice echo through the air, his trademark smile appearing on his lips when he saw me.“Are you ready to party or will you be going to bed at nine o’clock with the other elderly people?”
 “Hayden Packer as I live and breathe! If I remember correctly, it was you that passed out at midnight during the last party,” he smirked once I reached him, scooping me into his arms and spinning me round in a circle before setting me back down on my feet. I glared playfully as he draped an arm around my shoulders and led me into the clubhouse, the rest of the SAMDINO charter following closely behind us.
 It was Jax’s thirtieth birthday and the club was throwing him a huge party to celebrate, which was the sole reason I had spent the last six hours on the back of my father's bike to get to Charming from San Bernardino. Whenever SAMDINO had business with the Redwood charter when we were younger, I had always pestered my dad to take me so that I could go and play with Jax and Piney’s son, Opie. Even as we grew older, the three of us remained close and made it a habit of meeting up when we were all free. Unfortunately, due to my job as a medical examiner in a morgue and all the stuff kicking off in Charming, we hadn't seen each other since Clay’s sixtieth birthday party over four years ago. Stepping into the clubhouse, I was immediately hit with the familiar scent of weed, stale booze, cigarette smoke, cheap perfume and sex. It sounded like a foul smell but to me, it smelt like home. I'd spent most of my childhood in clubhouses, growing up around the club and their infamous parties, so the smell of the SAMCRO clubhouse made a ton of memories come flooding back to me. Jax flashed me a grin and guided me towards the bar where the others were sat drinking, Chibs, Bobby and Clay immediately jumping up to hug me when they saw me standing there next to the vice president.
 “Hayden, this is Juice,” Jax told me, gesturing to a Puerto Rican man with a faux hawk and tribal tattoos on either side of my head. I vaguely remembered seeing him at Clay’s birthday party but he had been a prospect back then. “And this little freak is Chucky,” I blinked a few times at the bald man that was handing me a bottle of beer, two mechanical hands gripping the neck of it rather than normal human ones.
 “It's nice to meet yo- Opie!” I caught sight of the long haired man stepping out of the hallway that I knew led to the dorms, his dark eyes widening at the sight of me leaning against the bar. I abandoned my beer to sprint across the room, jumping into his arms and firmly wrapping my legs around his waist to hug him tightly.
 “Denny, it's been too long!” he cried, placing his arms underneath my ass to keep me supported as he carried me over to where the others stood. Once we reached them, he sat me down on the bar and took a beer from Chucky. “I'm still mad you missed me my wedding but you can meet her in a minute, she's just getting ready in the dorm still.”
 “I look forward to it. But first, let’s see if you boys still suck at doing shot competitions or whether you’ve gotten better since I last saw you,” I winked, gesturing for Chucky to lay out six shot glasses and pass me a bottle of tequila before turning to Chibs, pointing at the Scot with a devious smile playing on my lips. “I’m going to beat your ass this time, Telford, even if it ends up with the pair of us in the ER because we both need our stomachs pumped.”
 “Yer on, lass, now pour them shots and lets get this party started!”
 *Five hours later*
 “Yo-you’re my best friend, Jackson, you know that? I know we barely see each other but you’re definitely my homie,” I slurred, swigging from my bottle of beer and leaning against Jax’s shoulder, waggling my finger in his face before using the tip of my finger to poke his nose. We were sat on the sofa situated against the wall of the clubhouse, having one of our usual drunken heart to hearts that we had whenever there was a party.
 “Don’t tell Opie, but I think you’re my best friend as well. Not that I don’t love Ope, but I can’t exactly  talk to him about my girl problems - it’s a little gay, you know?” he stage-whispered in response, our eyes flitting to where Opie had his wife, Lyla, pressed up against the bar and was kissing her like his life depended on it. I fake gagged at the sight of them, causing Jax to start laughing hysterically next to me.
 “Whatever happened to that bitch you were with when we were all in high school? Ugh, what the fuck was her name? Me and Ope just called her the Wicked Bitch of the West. You must remember her! The one that I got into a fight with on your sixteenth because we were dancing on the pool table to Nine Inch Nails, and she flipped shit because she thought I was coming on to you for some reason,” I quizzed, dropping my head down onto Jax’s shoulder passing him the joint that I held between my fingers.
 “Are you on about Tara? Funny story actually, she came back last year. We got back together and.. shit, she’s coming over here and she does not look happy in the slightest. Promise you’re not gonna say anything if she starts? She’s been pretty temperamental lately and she doesn’t mean what she says,” Jax said quickly, both of us turning to where a dark haired woman was storming over to us dressed in blue hospital scrubs, a look of fury on her pale face.
 “Ah, Tara! It’s been so long!” I exclaimed dramatically, throwing my arms out dramatically as if we’d been the best of friends whilst Jax buried his face in his hands, clearly not wanting any part of the confrontation that was likely to start in the next couple of minutes. Tara folded her arms over her chest and narrowed her eyes at me, unimpressed with how close Jax and I were to each other. “Rough day at work was it? Aw come on, have a drink! Lighten up a little!”
 “I don’t know who the fuck you are, or why you’re sitting so close to my old man, but I advise you move your slutty ass away from him or I promise, I’ll wipe that smug look off your face before you know what’s hit you,” Tara glared viciously, tapping her foot against the hardwood floor and never taking her eyes off of me. I stood up slowly, a smirk playing on my lips as I squared up to the brunette. She was definitely starting a fight with the wrong girl.
 “Actually, I don’t who the fuck you think you are, thinking you can talk to me like I’m dirt on your shoes,” I hissed back, poking her hard in the chest which made her stumble back slightly, half of the party stopping to watch the inevitable fight that was going to break out between us. I stepped even closer to Tara so that our noses were almost touching, brown meeting blue as we stared harshly at each other for a moment. “I was in his life way before you, honey, so if I want to sit and spend time with my best friend then I’m going to, okay? Good. Now fuck off, we’re talking.”
 I turned away to return to my seat on the sofa next to Jax, only to have my head yanked backwards by Tara who had grabbed hold of my ponytail and pulled as hard as she could. That did it, the bitch needed to be taught a lesson about who not to mess with. I span on my heel and tackled her to the floor, leaning backwards onto my knees once I was straddling her and began to slam my fist into her face over and over again. Tara somehow managed to flip us over, grabbing my fringe and banging my head against the floor whilst some of the boys cheered around us at the girl fight happening in front of their eyes. With a grunt, I managed to push her off me long enough to straddle her once more, landing a hard punch to her right cheekbone before two arms slid around my waist and pulled me off the doctor. I screamed as whoever it was proceeded to drag me off in the direction of the dorms, threatening to cave Tara’s head and straining against my captor’s hold in an attempt to escape. Within seconds, I was carried into one of the rooms where I was dropped down onto the bed, causing me to raise my head to see that Tig had been the one to separate me from Tara. I stood up and moved towards the door, growling slightly when he blocked the only exit so I couldn’t go back to the main part of the clubhouse. He locked the door and led me into the bathroom, pushing me to sit down on the closed toilet seat as he took a first aid kit out of the cabinet and turned to face me with some cotton wool and a bottle of Betadine antiseptic solution.
 “She got a few good punches in there, didn’t she, doll?” Tig chuckled, gently tilting my chin up so I was staring into his ice blue eyes and proceeded to pour the antiseptic onto one of the cotton pads, dabbing at a scratch just above my left eyebrow which caused me to flinch away from him due to the stinging sensation coursing through my forehead. “Don’t be such a baby, Denny. Christ, this takes me back to when you and Jax would fight as kids and I’d end up being the one to patch you both up after.”
 “She started it! All I was doing was sitting there with Jacky, having a nice little conversation, then she comes up and starts threatening me for no reason. Not to mention she pulled my hair, I can claim self-defence if the cops try and arrest me for assault or whatever,” I scowled, my head spinning slightly from the amount of alcohol I’d consumed throughout the night but possibly due to how hard Tara had slammed my head into the floor as well. “I feel so fucking dizzy, Tig. Can you stop for a minute, otherwise I think I’m going to throw up.”
 “Let me just finish cleaning this scrape on your cheek and then you can go lie down in my bed. She slammed your head into the floor pretty hard, you’ve probably got a concussion. I’ll go see if Chibs is sober enough to check once I’m done here,” Tig muttered in response, his thick black eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he delicately ran the cotton wool over my left cheek, a soft laugh escaping his slightly parted lips when I continued to flinch away from him.
 Once I was all cleaned up, Tig pulled me up into a standing position and walked me over to his bed that sat in the middle of the room. I flashed him a grateful smile and climbed under the bedsheets, wrapping myself in the soft duvet in an attempt to stop myself shaking because of the cool air in the room. I closed my eyes to try and stop my head from spinning when Tig left to go find Chibs, falling into a drunken slumber in the Sergeant-At-Arms’ bed after curling up into a foetal position like I always did when I slept. I must have been asleep for a good few hours before I woke to the sound of Jax and Chibs singing ‘The Proclaimers’ loudly in the hallway outside the door. I sighed and shuffled slightly to make myself more comfortable, only to find Tig fast asleep behind me with his arm wrapped tightly around my waist, keeping my back pressed firmly against his chest. I brought my elbow back to nudge him gently to try and wake him up, receiving a unintelligible grunt in reply and his arm pulling me even closer to him. It wouldn’t have been so bad but my back was starting to ache, and I couldn’t imagine that my Dad, who was the president of SAMDINO, would be too happy to find one of his friends in bed with his only daughter, even if we were both fully clothed and just sleeping. A few more digs at his ribcage with my elbow and eventually Tig peered down at me through half-closed eyes, a small smile playing on his slightly swollen lips. I shifted underneath him and he removed his arm from my waist, the pair of us sitting up in the bed simultaneously with a yawn. I grabbed the cigarettes from the bedside table and lit two, passing one of them to Tig whilst taking a long hit on my own. For some reason I was now wide awake and, despite it being a dick move on my part, I was determined to keep Tig up so I wasn’t all alone because judging by the silence outside of the door, everyone had either passed out or gone to bed by this point.
 “You could have gone back to the party, you know? You didn’t have to come in here and stay with me, especially given that there were about fifty croweaters out there that you haven’t slept with yet,” I told him once we’d both gotten ourselves comfortable against the headboard, an ashtray balancing on the duvet that covered both of us and occasionally wobbling whenever we tapped the excess ash off our cigarettes into it.
  “Nah, don’t worry about it, doll. The party wasn’t as fun after you went to bed, all that happened was Chibs got into a heated argument over soccer with that Irish guy from Indian Hills and ended up punching him, Lyla declared her love for Chucky and Jax and Ope did a God awful rendition of Red Solo Cup that made my ears bleed. So what do you wanna do now? We’re wide awake, it’s six in the morning and the party’s over by the sound of it,” Tig shrugged, putting his cigarette out in the ashtray and relaxing into the pillows he had propped up behind his back.
 “We could play Truths?” I suggested, discarding my finished cigarette in the ashtray and placed it back on the bedside cabinet as Tig shot me a confused look, motioning with his hand to explain the rules of the game I had played at Girl Scouts when I was young. “It’s basically Truth or Dare but without the dares, because let’s face it, we’d probably end up getting arrested if we started doing dares.”
 “You’re not wrong there. Want me to start?” he laughed, both of us turning to face each other and sit cross legged at the top of the bed. I nodded, dreading what he could possibly ask me but coming up with the perfect question for when it was my turn. He shot me a devious grin and tapped his chin for a few seconds whilst he thought of what to ask. “Rumour has it that apparently you lost your virginity to Opie in Piney’s bed during his and Jax’s patch-in party. Is that true, or is Bobby just full of shit like usual?”
 “Bobby’s full of shit, I’ve never slept with Opie in my life. Anyway he was dating Donna when he patched into the club, she was at the party, remember?” I replied, directing my attention to the hem of my dress and began to play with the edge of it, debating whether or not to reveal my biggest secret to Tig. I knew he wouldn’t tell anyone, just like he hadn’t told anyone it was me that scratched John’s bike when I was six, but I didn’t want him to laugh at me. “Actually… I’ve never slept with anyone. Dumb, I know, being twenty eight and never having sex.”
 “Hey, that’s not dumb at all, sweetheart,” Tig said softly, hooking his finger under my chin to tilt my head up so we were looking into each other’s eyes. I felt my cheeks still burning in embarrassment from what I had told the older man, but also feeling slightly relieved that he hadn’t laughed at me like I had expected him to. “It’s not a bad thing to wait, you know? Lots of people do it, not myself obviously but you’re not the first person in the world to want to save their virginity for someone special.”
 “That’s just it though, I’m not waiting for anyone special,” I groaned, leaning to the right until I fell down onto the mattress before rolling on my back with my hands covering my face in frustration. Tig lay down next to me, our feet resting on the headboard as he moved his head to reveal his confused expression. “I have four older brothers and my dad’s the president of a motorcycle club. Any boyfriend I have usually lasts about two weeks before they get spooked and hightail it out of there, and if they do last longer than that then they don’t want to take my virginity in case Dad or the others find out and kill him. It’s fucking annoying.”
 “Sounds to me like you’re just choosing pussies if I’m honest with you, Den,” he smirked, raising his arm slightly when I indicated that I wanted to lie on his chest. I rested my head into the crook of his shoulder and peered up at him, resting one hand close to my nose and draping my leg over his waist like I’d done with him when I was a little kid. It was purely platonic and neither of us saw anything weird about it, however someone else might have if they walked into the room and saw us. “Why not try it on with one of the SAMDINO members? I know Little John has a thing for you and he’s twice the size of your dad, so there’s no risk of him dying.”
 “You are joking, right? Come on, Tiggy, you know as well as I do that members of SAMDINO are off limits to me. Dad made that very clear when we had ‘the talk’, said he didn’t want me getting into one of his member’s heads or something,” I rolled my eyes at his suggestion when suddenly I was struck with an idea, Tig noticing this by the mischievous twinkle that appeared in my eyes and the devious smile forming on my face. “He never said anything about members from other charters though…”
 “Not a chance, doll, I wouldn’t do that to your Dad. I’ve known him longer than you’ve been alive, if he ever found out then it would destroy over twenty years of friendship,” he stuttered, propping himself up on his elbows and staring down at me with an unreadable expression on his weathered face. I frowned at how quickly he’d reacted, feeling slightly hurt that he wasn’t willing to do this for me. “You’re really serious about this, ain’t you?”
 “As serious as a nun in a convent. It’s cool if you don’t want to but it’s not as bad as you’re making out. Nobody would ever know about it, and I’d be a liar if I say I didn’t have a little crush on you, I can’t say the same for you but yeah…” I nodded, biting my lower lip and raising myself to lean back on my elbows and focus on the older man with a pleading look. It was desperate, I know, but I just wanted to get it over with and see what everyone was always raving about in terms of sex and orgasms in general.
 Tig chose not to reply, instead he leaned towards me and brushed his lips softly against my own in the softest of kisses. I returned to my previous position of lying on my back and reached upwards to tangle my fingers in his dark curls, pulling him down to crash his mouth against mine in a rough kiss. He massaged my lips with his own for several minutes, trailing his left hand up and down my thigh as he kept himself upright with the other. I gently ran the tip of my tongue over his lower lip to deepen the kiss. He groaned into my mouth, giving me the perfect opportunity to flick my tongue against his own and resulting in us beginning a fight for dominance. I subsided after a couple of minutes, allowing Tig to explore the inside of my mouth as he moved to lie on top of me, his elbows resting either side of my arms to keep his weight off me and his bulge pressing against my centre in the most delightful way. I tugged on the roots of his hair and bucked my hips up to press against his, the pair of us groaning at the slight pleasure we both felt from the action. He pulled away and began to trail his lips along my neck, barely ghosting the sensitive skin at the base of my throat but making me moan all the same at his teasing gesture. I wrapped my calves around the back of his thighs to grind my sex against his ever-growing erection. He leaned back on his knees and stared down at me, drinking in the sight of me lay there on his bed with my cheeks flushed and my hair spread out over the duvet like some form of halo. He shuffled back slightly and proceeded to push my dress up until it was gathered just above my hips, revealing the pastel blue french knickers I was wearing.
 “If we’re going to do this, I’m going to do it right. I’m going to give you a night you’re never going to forget, baby.”
 He slowly ran his hands up my legs, his fingers splayed out and his palms gently caressing my skin before he hooked his index fingers through the waistband of my panties, pulling them down until they reached my ankles and he discarded them on the floor next to the bed. A groan erupted from deep in his chest as he leaned down to situate himself between my thighs, peering up me with his crystal blue orbs and stuck his tongue out to lick a perfect line through my dripping folds. My hips bucked on their accord at his action, a teasing smirk appearing on his face as he diverted his gaze to my pussy and slowly began to lick faster and faster, holding my thighs to stop me wiggling whenever he flicked his tongue against my sensitive nub. After a couple of minutes he inserted one of his fingers inside me at a steady pace, beginning to move it back and forth when a moan fell from my lips. Before long, he had added another finger to the mix and my head tipped back at the sensation, his tongue lapping at my clit at the same time whilst my fingers tightly gripped the sheets underneath me. My eyes fluttered shut when I felt my stomach begin to tighten, Tig picking up the speed after hearing me moan his name over and over again like a prayer. “Come on baby, cum for me,”. The vibrations, accompanied by his fingers stroking the same spot over and over again inside me, caused my head to spin until waves upon waves of pleasure washed over me. My entire body convulsed at the sensation, my knuckles beginning to turn white and a mixture of curse words and Tig’s name leaving my mouth in a low whisper as he continued his ministrations. Eventually the feeling faded, resulting in me sprawling out on the bed and attempting to gain my breath back, a small laugh from Tig causing me to look down at him through hooded eyes and see him examining his hand with an amused twinkle in his eyes and a boastful smile on his face.
 “Are you sure you’ve never done anything like this before? Because you just squirted everywhere when you came,” Tig teased, my eyes widening in shock and my cheeks beginning to burn in shame. The smile dropped from his face almost instantly and he crawled up the bed until he was hovering over me, placing gentle kisses along my jaw. “I wasn’t being mean, doll, just merely commenting because not many girls can do it. I personally find it hot, can’t you tell?”
 “Maybe you should see if you can make me do it with this big cock of yours then,” I purred in his ear, tipping my head back slightly so he could nibble at the sensitive skin behind my ear. I reached down between us and ran the tip of my index finger up the length of his erection, slightly surprised at just how big it really was. I’d heard rumours but I had just assumed it was Tig getting girls to say it so he seemed more desirable. “Come on, Tiggy, are you going to just hover over me all day or are you going to fuck me?”
 “Patience, little girl, I don’t want the only thing you remember from this being me hurting you because we rushed it,” Tig rasped, pushing away from and reaching out to the bedside cabinet, fumbling around until eventually he removed a bottle of lubricant and a box of condoms. He quickly shed his boxers and relaxed back onto the balls of his feet, leaving me to marvel at the size of his cock. “I’m quite big, I need to prepare properly or I could end up really damaging you.”
 I continued to stare as he slid a condom over his member with expert precision, proceeding to cover the prophylactic with copious amounts of lube. After snapping the lid shut and throwing it behind him along with the box of condoms, he positioned one of his elbows next to my right bicep and leaned down, pressing his lips to mine in a deep kiss that made the feeling of want and desire begin to course through me once more. I nipped at his lower lip which elicited yet another groan from him, causing him to shuffle up slightly and press the head of his cock against my entrance. A small gasp of pain and shock escaped me when he pushed forwards slightly, making me feel my skin stretch around him to accommodate his shaft. He retreated for a second before trying again, continuing to do so but pushing slightly deeper inside me each time until he filled me up and his pelvic bone pressed against my own, telling me that he was all the way in. He stayed still, watching me carefully when I gave a slight nod to tell him that it was okay to start moving. He began to thrust inside me at a torturously slow pace, my expression slowly contorting from wincing in pain to one of pleasure as the feeling of satisfaction started to build up inside me for the second time that night. I reached around him when he retracted nearly all the way out, grabbing hold of his hips and pulling him forward so that he slammed into me, a wave of pleasure washing over me at how good it felt. He took this as a signal to pick up the pace, sinking into me over and over again until he set a pace that had me trembling at the overwhelming pleasure flowing through me. After fifteen minutes or so of fucking me in the missionary position, he grabbed hold of my knees and lifted them, draping my legs over his shoulders but never faltering in the quick rhythm that he’d settled into.
“Tig, please,” I pleaded, clinging to the bedsheets underneath us in a desperate attempt to control the overwhelming bliss that was causing me to feel as though I was floating on air. “Fuck me harder, make me come, I’m begging you.”
 “Are you sure you want to come, baby girl? You don’t sound like you want it enough to me, I think I’ll just stop what I’m doing,” he growled, trailing one of his hands down my chest and across my stomach before he reached my clit, beginning to draw lazy circles with his thumb which caused me to begin writhing under him. “Come on, Hayden, tell me what you want me to do for you.”
 “I want you to make me come, Tig. Now.” I cried, arching my back slightly as he hit my g-spot perfectly with every thrust and started to build up speed and power until the sounds of our skin slapping together echoed around the dorm room.
 He proceeded to pound into me in some sort of animalistic frenzy, his thumb still circling my clit and making me jolt with every movement due to how sensitive I still was from my first orgasm. Less than two minutes later, I dissolved into pleasure with a cry of Tig’s name as ecstasy coursed through my veins. I clenched around Tig whilst my body convulsed from my orgasm, causing the older man to thrust into me three more times before stopping still, grunting my name through gritted teeth and allowing his eyelids to flutter shut due to the same pleasurable sensation that I was experiencing. I lay there panting in the middle of the bed, watching Tig who quickly discarded the used condom in the bin near his bed and returned to lie next to me on the mattress, pulling me to rest on his chest and drape my leg over his waist despite him being completely naked. I nuzzled into his slightly sticky chest, closing my eyes and relishing in post-orgasmic haze whilst Tig stared at the ceiling above us, smiling at the glow in the dark stars Jax and I had put there when we were nine years old and his arm wrapping around my shoulder to pull me close. I shuffled slightly to get comfortable and ended up pressing myself against his side, his arm tightening around me and his other hand moving to run his fingers through my tangled blonde hair, my right arm draped over his waist whilst the other was tucked underneath me. A soft kiss on my forehead caused me to open my eyes and look up at the Sergeant-At-Arms, my fingers tracing idle patterns over the right side of his chest as he shot me a smile, his eyes heavy from a mixture of tiredness and satisfaction. I knew exactly how he felt, I was absolutely worn out despite having not done much and the only thing I could feel from the waist down was the satisfying throb between my legs. All those croweaters had been right, Tig was definitely amazing in bed. Not that I had much to compare it to, of course.
 “Did you enjoy it then, doll?” He whispered softly, chuckling slightly at the yawn that escaped my lips whilst I snuggled deeper into his side, his calloused fingers trailing softly up and down my arm in a soothing manner. “That boring, huh? I didn’t think I was that bad, in fact, judging by your facial expression you looked like you were having the time of your life.”
 “Fuck you, Trager.” I shot back playfully, rubbing my eyes due to how tired I was and failing to fight back another yawn. I genuinely couldn’t understand why I was so worn out when all I had done was lie there. Did orgasming really make you this tired every time?
 “Get some sleep, doll, you’re probably gonna be heading back to San Bernadino first thing if your Dad has anything to do with it. I’ll wake you up in a bit when I can hear people start to move around in the clubhouse,” he mumbled into my hair, smoothing my dark locks with the tips of his fingers and pressing his lips to the crown of my head softly.
 “Thank you, Tiggy. I’m glad it was you that took it rather than some douchebag,” I muttered sleepily, smiling to myself when Tig proceeded to pull the blanket over us to keep us warm. “And thank you for pulling me off Tara before I beat her to a bloody pulp and ended up in prison for murder.” 
 “You’re welcome, sweetheart, you’re welcome.” he chuckled quietly, loosening his grip slightly so we were both comfortable before I fell into a deep slumber for the second time that evening. Had I stayed awake a little bit longer, I probably would have heard him whisper ‘I love you, doll’, but I was asleep, and the next day I’d return to San Bernadino no longer a virgin and never knowing how Tig actually felt about me. Oh how life was cruel.
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Okay. I am grossly overdue for telling you about my adventures at the Sherlock convention. If you don't care, of course, feel free to move along. But for anyone that does care, do read ahead.
Friday: Friday morning was spent in Hollywood. I was emotional as soon as we set foot out of the Lyft ride and actually cried tears while standing on Hollywood Blvd. Visiting Hollywood was something that I had always dreamed of since I was a child. For me to be able to make that dream come true… I can't even put into words how amazing it felt. Naturally, we stopped in a souvenir shop. There, I looked through a rack of souvenir keychains that were designed to look like stars on the Walk of Fame. They were black squares with pink Stars just like the real thing. I found one with Andrew's name on it and immediately knew that we had to get it to him. after all, he truly does deserve a star on the Walk of Fame for his incredible talent. When the time came, we made our way to the Marriott for registration. The rest of Friday was relatively uneventful. The four of us did have our photo taken in front of the aquarium bench and backdrop inspired by The Six Thatchers (The bench was actually the real one used in the show). We were also fortunate enough to be able to have our photo taken on the screen-used living room set of 221B. To our surprise, those chairs are actually extremely narrow. Sherlock's chair is just as squishy and comfortable as it looks. The night ended with the Chinese Circus-themed party which just ended up being a dance but was actually kind of cool. We did try to check out karaoke but they kept the lights on and it just kind of over all sucked. So we skipped out on that in favor of food and sleep. Saturday: Saturday morning I'll admit that I cried during the opening ceremony just from actually seeing Andrew Scott up on the stage and processing the fact that he's a very real person. I did bid to try and get into his meet and greet but unfortunately I lost. I was pretty visibly upset by this fact considering my emotional attachment to him and the fact that he was the reason that I attended the convention. However, this did not stop Blue Hair Girl from bragging about the meet-and-greet and shoving her selfie with him in my face. I ended up using the money that I bid on the meet and greet with to purchase a second autograph with Andrew (so that I could still have him sign my DVD even though I planned on having him design my tattoo) and a photograph with Jonathan Aris. Poor Jonathan got no love from any fans all weekend. Every time I saw his autograph table it was nearly empty or the line was extremely short. because of that, I did ask if I could go up and speak to him. The staff obliged and he was so sweet. That's what made me decide to buy the photograph with him. I got Steven Moffat’s autograph first. I wasn't sure what to think but he was actually very nice. I followed that up with Arwel’s autograph and he was also very nice. Unfortunately, the lunch break we were on ran a bit late so we just caught the end of Jonathan and Alistair's panel. But from what I did get to see it was very enjoyable. I can say that I absolutely loved Una, Wanda and Tim's panel. The three of them together were just a scream. Poor Tim could barely get a word in edgewise. But it was a delight to hear Tim and Wanda share stories about Benedict. I did have a mild freak-out prior to Andrew’s photograph because it was the first time I was actually getting to meet him. Immediately after, I walked off until wait for my photo to print and I collapsed against the back wall and just sobbed. Luckily, the anxiety part of my brain always seems to work no matter what so I skedaddled from the room before we could get yelled at for lingering. Naturally, I absolutely ADORED Andrew’s panel. He was so funny and it’s completely adorable how fidgety he is. Saturday Night: The drinks reception was, by far, the highlight of the weekend. An old lady kept yelling at us while we were waiting in the hallway even though we weren't being very loud and it was only 7pm. There were about 10 of us per table. I'll tell you that two glasses of white wine loosened me up and made me more talkative than I otherwise would have been. We started with Alistair and I found out that he's absolutely marvelous. He completely understood what fandom means to us all and why we were there. He was so funny and engaging. He told us he had a party to attend after and in said “So you're just pregaming then?” His reply: “...Yeah. Pretty much.” Next, we had Arwel Wyn-Jones but that was a bit awkward as no one seemed to know what to really say. He was still lovely despite that. Sue Vertue is an absolutely fantastic woman. The kind you'd like to grab lunch with. She was very engaging and it was a joy to laugh with her. Once again, Moffat was a pleasant surprise. He was very nice to all of us. We accidentally got him on an anti-Trump/anti-Brexit/anti-hatred/pro-kindness tangent. It's clear he's a very passionate man and he earned so much of my respect that night. Also, he refers to Trump as “that orange toad across the pond”. Finally, we finished the drinks reception with my darling Andrew. He lit up when we gave him the keychain and he loved it. Someone asked if he was going to the same party as Alistair. He didn't even know Alistair was going to a party and jokingly mumbled “fuck him”. He made a lot of eye contact with me and I think I earned brownie points by mentioning John Butler (director and Andrew’s friend) and some of Andrew’s other work. He got bashful when I told him his performances in those other things were wonderful. We talked a little bit about music and karaoke and it turns out that he loves Katy Perry and P!nk. We also chatted about Hamlet. I mentioned it is my favourite Shakespearean work and he immediately said “Did you see Benedict’s?!” He mentioned that the fans’ request was heard and they're filming his run as Hamlet. He apologized for his photo session being “impersonal” and “on factory settings”. He was certain that he must look terrible in every single photo. I assured him that he didn't and showed him how ours came out and he loved it. When it was over, he blew the whole table a kiss. I said, “Thank you so much. We love you.” His reply: “I love you guys too”. It was such an honor and pleasure to laugh with him. Overall, I was glad conversation flowed so easily with each guest. Despite only having about six minutes with each guest, it felt like really connecting and was well worth the money. Andrew abandoned his glass water. Someone pointed it out to me and I drank it. We all laughed about it. Except one girl called it disgusting. I don't see why. It was perfectly good water. Andrew is not a dirty person. The other nine of us laughed about it. It was harmless. I've known someone to do worse. Something far more disgusting and creepy. As a side note: I'm completely in love with his full body laugh and his eye crinkles. After, I ran into Moffat while waiting for the elevators. I accidentally called him “Moffat” to his face. I told him how much respect I gained for him during the drinks reception and he thanked me. I told him I wouldn't fall victim to the lies and bullshit about him spread on the internet anymore. He also called the elevators “lifts” then apologized and corrected himself. I said “No no no. I'm American but I watch plenty of British TV to know what Lifts are. Doctor Who, Sherlock, League of Gentlemen, Little Britain…” Turns out he also likes Little Britain. Sunday: Again, relatively uneventful. I spent a lot of time talking to fellow fans. I did get Sue Vertue’s autograph; she was just as sweet as she was the night before. When it was time to get my photo with Mark Gatiss, I was bouncing with excitement. I've been a fan of his since I started watching Doctor Who in 2011. He's a phenomenal writer and a big part of the reason I fell back in love with writing. Again, I spent a large part of my day talking to fellow fans. When it came time for my photo on set with Andrew, I was still nervous but a little more comfortable because of the drinks reception the night before. He called me “lovely” which he seems to do to a lot of his female fans (particularly the plus-sized ones) but I don't care because that doesn't make it any less genuine. He saw me carrying Furiarty (puppy I made at Build-A-Bear Workshop that I modeled after Moriarty) and he went “Who’s this?” as he gently took him from me and stroked his head. I explained and he looked at me with total awe. I sat beside him in John's chair (he was perched on the arm) and Andrew fiddled with Furiarty’s suit. I asked if the three of us could cuddle and we did. Everywhere we could be touching, we were. It was magical. Afterward, I immediately went across the hall to get my photo with Jonathan Aris. I stepped up, chatted with him a bit, and put my arms around him. Unfortunately, the photographer was not ready yet so we ended up awkwardly cuddling in a standing position for a moment before the photographer told us that it would be a moment before he was ready. We pulled away and chatted a bit more. He's a sweet guy. There was a brief, minor issue with the printer so I had to wait a little bit longer for my photo to print. But unlike Creation Entertainment they didn't try to rush me out of the photo op room. It's also nice that the photos print out immediately and you don't have to go digging for them later. Finally, it was time to get my autograph from Andrew. Unfortunately, his line was so long that we didn't have much time for a proper chat. I did, however, present him with his large container of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, the Moriarty coloring page that I completed for him from my Sherlock coloring book, and the card with the letter in it that I wrote. He was completely surprised by the large container of chocolates, and he absolutely loved the coloring page. He signed the DVD cover of my copy of Dead Bodies, which has to be one of my top 3 favourite projects of his (so far). I gave him the blank piece of paper I brought and briefly explained to him why I wanted the tattoo and what I wanted him to do. All I said was “Could you please write something brief and positive and sign it that I could get tattooed later?” it was his choice to draw the waves with a heart. He called them “air waves”, but he was so rushed I think he meant positive waves. regardless, I thanked him profusely and walked away only to grossly sob over how much it meant to me. The final event was The Great Sherlocked Game Show. An absolutely genius idea, I think it showed how much fun the guests and the fans were having with each other. There is a lot to be said when the entire room of people is laughing together. You could really tell that the guests were having a great time. The final afterparty was Moriarty’s Pool Party. I unfortunately forgot my bathing suit at our hotel (separate from the convention hotel and cheaper) so I couldn't get in the hot tub. It was too cold to get in the pool. Samantha and I enjoyed free wine and then went into a friend’s hotel room until we were joined by the rest of the girls. Overall… absolutely the best weekend of my life and I'd love to do it all again.
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