Sworn Partners at their weekly Dreamland protection strategy meeting

Dear Sephiroth: (a letter to a fictional character, because why not) #73

As it turns out, the weather today is not ideal for J to fly home with the plane. So J, Br, and I will be staying in Pennsylvania at least until tomorrow.

J tried to encourage us to go home. Br and I stayed. We spent time at a nearby cafe, making art and eating tasty snacks. When J was done getting 5 hours of flight time in the machine with an instructor (for insurance purposes), Br and I were glad that we had stayed; Joel tends to become extremely anxious when he is away from people he is familiar with for too long, and today was no exception to that general trend, ahaha…

I used the time to weave a wire tree. Br drew a self-portrait. And while we did our things, we spoke about various topics, from our various traumas to our dreams for the future.

Here are some images of the tree I wove together today:

...I hope that the tree I wove in your colors somehow can reach you. I hope that the Tree of Life I wove in my colors and encased in an epoxy sphere somehow reaches you. I entrusted some very important people with one of these things, with the hope that they would pass it along to you; they have the power to do this. I doubt that they will, but... even if they don't, I hope that the item I made is enjoying its time in Japan in a spot where it can be seen and loved.

...In any case. I feel very blessed to know Br. J and I met her at a chance encounter, going to an event called a "Star Party". A Star Party is when a bunch of folks interested in the night sky get together with telescopes in a place with minimal light pollution. Because there was so very little light pollution where we went, I was actually able to see the arms of my planet's galaxy for the first time; it was a marvelous sight to witness. Br, J, and I exchanged contact information, and we've been good friends ever since.

Since so much of your planet still seems like it's undeveloped (and thus there are still a lot of places where the light emitted from cities does not touch, yes?), I imagine it must be pretty easy for you to find places where the night sky is fully visible in all its glory, no? I can't help but wonder what your night sky looks like, what the arms of your galaxy look like, and so on. Are the constellations where you live very different from the constellations where I live? What sorts of colors do the stars in your night sky shine in?

…I wish I could hear your answers to all of these. I wish I could spend time listening to you talk about it. I'd never get tired of listening to the things you know and the things you think and feel about the things you know.

I've seen the moon in your world, though. Here's one picture we have:

We have this picture, too. This is probably the best one we have so far. But some guy has kinda photobombed it on us:

...That's okay though. He seems very excited and he's good at balancing on things. I don't mind as long as he's having a good time!

The moon in my world looks like this:

...So as you can see, the craters that face my planet look a lot different from yours. But, we have 3D models of our moon, which is pretty neat! So if you change the angle just a tiny little bit, you'll see that the craters on my moon are actually maybe a little similar to yours:

...It's not too terribly different at all, is it? I suppose I find that comforting, for some reason.

I hope someday you'll be able to take a nice walk somewhere and enjoy the sight of your moon and of your stars at your leisure. Since there's so much light pollution, I don't have a whole lot of opportunities to properly enjoy the night sky on my planet, so... please make it a point to enjoy the night sky on yours a little extra for me, okay?

You are loved, so please stay safe out there. Come back to us in one piece. Make good, kind, gentle, and loving choices.

I'm not sure what tomorrow will look like, but one thing is certain: I will write to you. So look forward to it.

Your friend, Lumine

3, 4, 5

8, 12, 14

23, and 30

Sorry if it's alot...

it's all good! these are fun

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uuuhhhh...... I don't actually know, honestly.

If you're generous with the term "little" you could say that some of my ocs are technically pretty old(mainly one of my Sonic ocs and Tsunami).

not a whole ton artistically that I can think of tho

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

Any kind of weapon, doesn't matter what universe, they all suck.

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

I'd say I share about 95%, and that might be lowballing it. I like sharing the stuff I make, so I really only not share something if it's really personal or I don't like it for some reason, neither of which happen very often.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

Not really "lost interest" and more of "realized the stupid amount of work that'd have to go into it"; I've always wanted to make either a comic or animated series with my Sonic/Splatoon ocs the latter was a bit more recently, but you know, going into their stories. But I realized the insane amount of work that goes into either of those, came to the conclusion that I probably wouldn't be able to force myself to finish it, and lost motivation.

Someday, maybe, but probably not any time soon.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

Arms and legs, minus the things at the ends lol(I'm getting better at hands tho, feet are just annoying more than anything).

14. Any favorite motifs

I like using colors to associate things with other things. And now that I have a cast of characters that can change color literally at will, I can do that even better :3c

23. Do you use different layer modes

Yes, they are almost entirely how I do my shading and some color stuff as well.

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

I kinda get why, but I feel like a lot of my Sonic art doesn't get as much attention as I would like. And my 3d renders, though again, I kinda get why.

Y'all are here for Splatoon art, and I respect that. :)

Hello!! I just wanted to say that I love your art so much!!! Your art style is so cool and I love how there are sometimes little squiggles and shapes around characters when you draw them!!

Your art has actually been really inspirational for me, and, I will say this until the end of time, your shading is incredible!!! When I first saw your art of sad Will and Mike I was like “I’m going to draw like that one day!” I’ve shown your art to my younger brother and be both totally obsessed over your cleradin art and the Byler week summer love prompt of Will (which is one of my favorite Will Byers fanarts of all time, the colors and the happy summer emotion it’s showing is amazing!!!)

I hope that you have a fabulous day!!!!

Ohhhhh, what if I just started crying? Like, AHHHHH, I can’t even describe how happy I am to hear this ajhsiwieevdbhss thank you thank you thank you, you’re too kind!!💗💞💓🩷💕

The sad Will and Mike fanart is actually the first actual byler fanart I made and I myself am incredibly proud of how both of them turned out so to hear someone else appreciate it, and my art in general, as much as I do is genuinely wonderful! Especially because I have grown quite insecure about my art during the time I’ve been sharing it on tumblr. It’s not that the little feedback changes my own perception of my art but it still affects me negatively which is why I mostly only tease my artwork with polls and wips but put off posting the finished piece. Now just the thought of posting my art puts me in a bad mood because I already know that I’m setting myself up for disappointment, and the whole thing just generally makes me feel bad because of the “oh the byler tag just generally has a problem with reblogging fan content” to “but look, all those other people get so much more notes on their art than I do so my art is the problem” pipeline and the internal conflict between “I spent a significant amount of time on this and I’m rightfully mad for getting so little recognition” and “There are so many other artists who get way less recognition than I do and maybe I’m just ungrateful” and then I feel bad for feeling bad, like, this is mentally exhausting…🫠

But whenever I post a wip or even manage to post a finished piece I can always count on all your kind words and I want you to know that they don’t go unnoticed nor unappreciated even though I might not always respond!💓I’ve also noticed you re-reblogging my art and AHHH thank you!! It means the world to me💞🌷

And to think that someone would consider my art an inspiration? It’s like a dream come true alwjwnsbsujwnwj 🤧💗💗, I have to fight back tears rn :’). And you’re definitely gonna be able to draw like me someday, very probably better actually hahah. And do tell your brother that I appreciate that he likes my art as well💓

You actually just made my day and I hope I can make yours too with this tiny Will I drew for you <3

I just started reading the first chapter of ur fic and !! its so good! I absolutely love how descriptive your writing is, i'm able to visualize the scenes very easily. i'm kind of struggling with motivation and inspiration for my own fic i have planned. what inspired you to write this fic?

Oh my stars, my first ask!!!!!!! Happy stimming fr right now. Thank you so much for reading my fic and for thinking it’s good!!

But! On the topic of what you actually asked:

It’s hard to pinpoint an exact source of inspiration for my work. I was seeing a lot of F!Rise art from my favorite artists, and I felt drawn to contributing a piece of my own!

First, I looked for the core of what I gravitated towards when I saw the art. For me, it wasn’t just the style that everything was drawn in, but the concept of an unlikely family banding together and persevering through harsh conditions.

Then, I tried to come up with a spin to it all. I didn’t just want harsh conditions with a few soft moments like I was seeing in other people’s works- I wanted goofy adventures and silly jokes like actual Rise had! I wanted to see these characters pushed to their limits, but I also wanted to see them thrive in unlikely environments. That’s when I decided they should go on a journey together.

The original concept that I started writing really honed in on Mikey’s sacrifice and Leo’s inability to handle it. I felt that over the years (and through growing up in the actual apocalypse), Leo’s brotherly protective instincts would’ve gotten turned up to 11. When Raph would be around, Leo wouldn’t have to carry as much weight, but then Raph disappeared and eventually Donnie did too- leaving Leo to guard what little was left. He loves his little brother and his nephew so dearly, so seeing them put their lives in danger while he “stood back and watched” didn’t feel right to write about. That’s how I came up with the unique change to add to the fic!

Finally, after the drabble was done and it got some positive feedback from my peers, I started to plan more out and explore how I could blend the pain and torture of apocalyptic conditions with what made the characters in Rise so lovable- their love for each other (and for Humor Coping™️)

If you’re struggling with putting the pen to paper (metaphorically, I’m sure, since digital writing can feel so much better on the hands), I’d say find the core values of your piece and put your own personal spin on it! Find what makes your heart tick, and then expound on it! I’m absolutely sure that you’re gonna do great things with your wonderful imagination, and I hope to someday see what you make with it! The world is your oyster, so find your grain of sand and roll it around in your mind enough times until it creates a pearl! The stars know I’m still rolling mine around ^^’

(Ask my beta readers, they’ll tell you about how many times I’ve scrapped 5-10 planned chapters in one fell swoop for something else that might fit better)

Anywhizzle, thank you so much for the ask! I loved writing about this, and I hope it helps!

Hello hello! I have 5 hours of sleep in me and I feel like pestering some people. You can see this ask as a place to chat about anything you'd like to at the moment. I know that can be a big vague task so here are some silly questions to jump off of or to ignore.

What came first the art or the writing?

Which would you say has been more worth the effort to improve at personally (like both are awesome but which one fills you with that glowing shine of warmth to look at and go "yeah I made this!")

White chocolate or dark chocolate (we ain't talkin about milk chocolate here)

What is something small (or like what could be small) that you did you are so proud of and want to gush about without judgement (like made a good sammich, folded your laundry, hit a note perfectly)

Oh hi, thanks for checking in! <3 Sure, I'd love to ramble a little!

Art came first. I started learning how to draw back when I was 16-ish with the intention of making webcomics since that was my obsession at the time. I made a journal comics for a few years, and then after that made a long-form story comic weekly for about nine years. I stopped in 2021 because a) I wanted to write and b) my buddy who was co-authoring that comic with me is a busy fella these days.

It took some time to accept, but I don't think I'll ever be an incredible artist. Due to my disability, I lack a certain amount of dexterity and I can't draw for long periods of time. But! I am very happy with how much I learned over the years, and the progress I was able to make. And I still enjoy drawing character art when I get the time, and the occasional piece of fan art!

For that reason I think I'll always be more proud of my writing. I can actually complete things there, refine them, and feel proud that the progress I make is actually going towards something that (hopefully) people might someday read! That's where my shine comes from!

Dark chocolate easily takes it for me, the darker the better. I'm not so much of a fan of sweet things as I used to be - my teeth hate the sugar - so dark chocolate is more palatable to me!

Something small I did recently . . . well, I'm going to be boring and talk about my job. I work as a software dev, but due to various circumstances I haven't been given a lot of proper coding to do in months. A lot of my company's tech is moving away from the kind of back-end framework that I'm good at, so I've been in a bit of a nebulous position. I finally got given some work to do, in a language that I like, doing stuff that I understand but still presents enough of a challenge - aaand it's been going great! It's nice to remember that I'm good at the thing I actually earn money for from time to time ;;^^

Whew! This was fun! Thank you for letting me ramble for a bit, I enjoyed that!

17 and 18 they're less about hatred and more about what you find enjoyable and want more of!!!!! For any media you feel like talking about :)

HEEHEE *completely blanks on any thoughts iveever had ever* Fuck. normally id gravitate towards New and Current stuff but keroro fandom is 6 ppl and ive read no fic & i JUST got introduced to mop pinecone fandom so i simply do not have exposure there but that’s ok there are LOTS of things ilike and have many thoughts about. I just need to think of what those thoughts are

17 - there should be more of this type of fic/art

Ok you know what? I’m digging into the past here (said as if this isn’t an All Time Highly Beloved Interest That I Still Think And Talk About A Lot) and talking abt p5 bc p5 is something ive read the most fic of and had the strongest fic opinions on. And art exists. as well. Anyway I have always been desperate for good royal trio content that caters to me specifically. Like ok. I understand why that does not exist in very high quantities. Because the “royal trio” are not really actually a trio in canon and have very few interactions and very little dynamic, AND my thoughts on them are very niche and specific. But especially a year ago when I was desperately rampaging thru p5 ao3 tags to find stuff to read it was always just. Very few people Got It in a way i really liked. I reaaaallly want to see stuff that actually MAKES USE OF the interesting parallels & room for relating to each other w akechi and sumi that the game itself badly failed to deliver on, they’re in some ways very similar and their interactions could be soooo so interesting if people would just. um. Do the work that the writers of the actual game didn’t </3 Also i just think royal trio should be funny in a way that caters to me specifically. Sigh. I have to write p5 fanfic someday to inflict my righteous and superior thoughts on the world. Basically: there should be more p5 fanfic and fanart about akechi & sumi or about akira akechi and sumi, but like, it should also be made for me specifically and agree with everything i think.

18 - it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

i just made a post about this a little while ago but literally from what i can tell ritsu kageyama </3 he needs. to be appreciated. was he such a well done character for nothing. was he so great and well written just to have brief appearances in silly comics and little else. please. Umm lets see is there anything else……… Surely, somewhere, in the history of my life, there have been many occasions where I have gone, “Why does this fandom never seem to talk about [X great thing from the piece of media]!!!!” That has to have happened millions of times. I can remember saying it, as if a dream, “people need to appreciate [subject undefined]”. But I don’t seem to be able to remember anything so. Peace and love on planet earth I guess!

Grab Bag Doodles

I haven't been doodling too much lately. Mostly everything I've drawn I've finished or it's a part of a bigger project that I don't want to post. So... yeah. Kinda had to scramble for some stuff, but nonetheless I hope you'll enjoy me rambling for a bit.

1) Kun3h0 Head Logo. I made this an alternate graphic to take the place of the word logo if need be. I think it's pretty cute.

2-3) Kun3h0 Doodles. She takin' a sippy. Yeah, I kinda wrote myself into a corner saying that Kun3h0's mouth is a screen (to explain why it's white when she opens her mouth), but I'm gonna say it just slides out of the way when she needs to refill her coolant tanks or otherwise needs to access the inside of her head.

4-5) Nekoko Base Tests. So one project I was working on was preparing a new base for HONK because the Yomi project is just not working out for me. I chose an old OC, Nekoko, for the test because she's one of the only OCs I have that kinda suits the "traditional" anime character mold. But I dunno how far I'm gonna take this because I started questioning what the utility of a blank PNGtuber base even is. If you're already capable of drawing, which you need to be able to do to use the base, then there is zero reason to use the base XP. The only way I can see this being actually useful is if I add a bunch of premade parts to it and essentially turn it into a character creator, which is a lot of work. I dunno, maybe I'll still put it together, but I do honestly believe that this has been a futile project from the very beginning.

6) I'm Your Number 1 Fan, Sketch. The original sketch for that piece. It was supposed to be slightly animated and a little more sinister in nature, with all the artists getting crossed off one-by-one and the background getting a little darker every time. I think it's still a cool idea, but a lack of thumbnailing really bit me in the butt: Kliff's pose was already locked in, but by the time I started adding all the artist portraits, I realized that his hand was gonna get covered, so it became way too busy in that area, so I just replaced the idea with the Kliff emojis. Maybe I'll come back to this idea thematically, though.

7) The Troll Slaiyers. Some stupid ass bullshit that I'm probably not gonna finish because I just cannot bring myself to put serious effort into memes. All the portrait art is traced from in-game talksprites. None of the colors are color picked to give it a shittier quality.

8) ???. Hey, for making it this far, here's a secret sketch! No, the image isn't broken, I pixelated it on purpose because it's a part of a "secret" project. Well, it's not my secret, and I'm not even sure if it's supposed to be a secret (I guess I could have just asked XP), but this character belongs to someone else, and I don't want to post anything about it until it becomes public. Originally, it started as a potential test for the PNGtuber base I was working on. I did several different characters to see how well the proportions translated to characters of other styles. I even did a Kun3h0 test, but she seems weird without her really long legs XP. Anyway, I did this one because their proportions are a little more different (having shorter limbs and a very different head shape) and I just started sketching more ideas for it because I think they're a very fun character. Hopefully that project will become public someday, so I can share more of the art and doodles I've done for it, but till then, I guess this is okay.

On AI art(and it’s doomed limitations)

Trying not to think too much about AI art as I’d rather use my space to post my actual handmade illustrations and those of others but one thing I can’t help but noticed. A lot of artists are panicking real hard about AI art and, with the like of Adobe now trying to implement it in photoshop, likely understandably so. But on the other end I feel a lot of the “push” and thus also even “talk” in favor of AI art is also.... very artificial in itself. There’s a huge push by techbros to try to make it “mainstream” but the truth is that outside of some niche of online people... it’s not picking up. It’s not something I ever see discussed in real-life, let alone in favor of. And a few people I’d talk about it IRL do see apalled by it or outright just thinking it... bad. Even like bad in quality. But it also bring me to the *limitations* of AI art. Unless somehow the creation of a true *thinking* AI ever happens... it’s never gonna be able to create. Because AI art, as it is and likely will be forever(i.e.: bar an actual “sentient/thinking” AI which is not happening this century nor even the next IMO), is nothing more than a glorified high quality collage. It can only “create” by ultimately collaging and smudging together pre-existing pieces actually created by others. It can probably not even make anything like even a most basic of anatomy sketch. And in fact even if it tried, seeing so much the “construction lines” of an illustrations would further likely only highlights it’s limitations and failling again due to the way AI art try to construct an image. And again, because it’s not an actual thinking being even able to really recall what someone trying to create using it might be truly looking for beyond stuff listed in tags categories, lies it’s other biggest flaw: Consistency. AI art cannot, and likely won’t ever be able anytime soon, create something as “simple” as a refsheet featuring even just a single same character seen from different angles. Because it cannot even recognize how to make re: that two pictures it generates are meant to be the same characters and thus should feature the same clothes/hairstyle/etc but seen from different angles. And, as far as I know, no “clever keywords” or “properly tagged categories to draw from” are ever change that. And if it can’t even manage that, I cannot see it ever creating something as complex and intricate than even the most basic of comic. This is not to say there’s nothing to worry, I suspect a lot will try to turn to AI art in concept art field and for some singular illustrations that I can imagine some marketing firms salivating at the thought they might not require artists anymore etc for posters/graphic design stuff/etc but ultimately AI art is, and likely will ever be short of re: developping an actual *thinking* AI who can create from scratch someday(something that again I don’t see happening even in this century, especially seeing how computer science seem to be plateauing these days in truth), too limited to create anything “functional” where it might matters. Even at it’s “best” it still likely will require an artist to “clean up” after it. And re: not even getting how it can’t even draw/paint the same character twice let alone from a different angle(and likely won’t be able to for the longest time... if ever, due to how the actual tech seem to function). And that’s ontop of all the people(especially anybody who is remotely less “online” than others) who might not even know AI art exists and thus actually still go for artists because they know artists exists in the first place. Which re: makes me wonder how much this thing’s spread is being astroturfed VS being actually adopted by a wider public.

HV's Writing Blog #1: Writer

My name is H.V. Somnes, and I'm a writer.

I read from someone online once that just writing stories makes you a writer, but publishing books actually makes you an author. I'm pretty sure that not only works in some kind of philosophical sense, but literally.

I've been writing ever since I was around... sixteen. I once got second place in a short story contest in my high school. Now, nearly ten years later, I've written a dozen short stories.

Written. Much like the second paragraph's guidelines, though I've written a bunch of stories, none of them have ever actually been published. That short story, brought upon by a writing prompt I saw here on the good ol' hellsite, was placed in an omnibus that I have since lost.

So why am I here? Well, as the title suggests, I want to write a book. A proper, actual book. One to publish and maybe have one or two people read. Maybe three people if you wanna get crazy.

I'm not gonna be facetious and act like I purely want to do this because I like writing, I'd personally love to become a professional author someday. To be able to sit down in a nice seaside house with royalties paying... at least half of my bills, maybe. It would be nice.

I do love writing though. Even if writing does not like me. As of late, I've become stricken with writer's block for this book that I've been working on for as long as I've been writing!

I started this concept for a sci-fi novel way back when I was a teenager. It started with characters, then I made a plot, then I revised the plot at 19, then I revised the plot at 22, and... I'm still here, years later. I'd tell you how many years but you NEVER ask an author their age, c'mon now.

Okay, okay, fine. I'm still in my 20s. But that's all you're gonna get.

This project, which henceforth shall be known as just THE BOOK- as in the one and only book I'm currently working on, has had a very flip-flopping development process since I started working on it. I've created entire plotlines and written them down, only to scrap it all later to revise the plot entirely.

THE BOOK even has a finished first draft, made last year (2021) that has since been promptly abandoned to start a new version of the book. I wrote THE BOOK's first draft was made for NaNoWriMo, and whether the second draft will share that is yet to be known.

As for the synopsis, it's a spacefaring, sci-fi adventure focusing on a group of superhuman freelancers, taking place in a universe where humans have colonized... every planet in the galaxy.

After the death of a (for lack of a better word) supervillain heavily involved in that group of humans' trauma, they're forced to figure out who they are after the source of their plight has finally been destroyed.

I'm trying not to be too spoilery about it. The death thing happens literally in the beginning, so that's not too much of a spoiler I don't think.

I hope that's enough to draw you in for more. I hope these dev blogs are enjoyable as well. I'm mostly just doing them to keep my mind on writing as much as I can.

I appreciate you if you're still reading this. I hope to make another one of these soon. I'll leave you with an art piece from the late Syd Mead- this is a part of his US Steel collection, and if you've seen my reblogs you'll know I love retro-futuristic looks.

Ciao!

THE BOOK Progress:

Words Written: 3,903

Pages Written: 10

% Written (Based on 50k Words): 7.81%

Art Down Below:

2, 15

sina!! thank you!! <33

2: top 5 books of all time:

(in no particular order bc i could never decide lol) here goes: hot milk, deborah levy / the hunger games, suzanne collins / notes of a native son, james baldwin / the song of achilles, madeline miller / good omens -  neil gaiman and terry pratchett

15: recommend and review a book:

Everybody in this room will someday be dead by Emily Austin.

I discovered this book last month and I have never felt more seen or understood like that before. I, orginially, picked it up because the first sentence on the back of the book felt very me, in a funny, my friends would describe me like that way. And, then, the rest of the book was not what I expected. But the trend of 'oh, hey it me,' continued on. It's as if Emily Austin plucked every thought from my head and put it down on a page. Every paragraph made me go 'oh'. Don't let the blurbs of the book fool you; they will tell you it's a 'laugh out loud novel.' Meanwhile, I cried on every goddamn page. The main character is a twenty-something lesbian struggling with anxiety and depression in a way that is not. cute. Her hygiene suffers, her apartment and health fall to the wayside and it is all just. Real. Her depression is honest and painful and so, so relatable it hurts. Don't get me wrong, I can understand why people reviewed the book as funny because it is. It is chock-full of situational comedy and an awareness of the world that begs you to laugh out loud. It is, also, however, traumatically real. We are introduced to the main character, Gilda and from the first page on, Gilda makes you understand and emphasize with her, makes you feel that she gets loneliness. Loneliness, when you're around others, strangers, co-workers, and even loved ones. The kind of loneliness that sits deep in your heart and claws its way into your body, your mind, until you can't do anything but succumb to it. Yes, I make this book sound bleak af, and I think it might not be, not to everyone, but to someone who struggles with the same things she does, it is bleak. The funny parts are there because the writing is wildy creative and witty and earnest but overall this is a book that hits home about depression and anxiety. The actual plot of the book is hilarious in its absurdity, I will admit, but I kept getting drawn back into Gilda's mental state and the way she viewed the world. I love this book, every page of it. It made me feel understood and seen and heard and if I ever needed to point at one piece of art or media to encapsulate what it's like in my brain, I'd point you in the direction of Everybody in this room will be someday be dead. It is a brilliant read. And a painful one.

here's some of my favorite quotes:

"I never know how to answer that question because I don't feel like I am out. I feel like I am in a constant state of coming out, and like I always will be. I have to come out every time I meet someone."

“The fact that I’m able to carry myself through life without being crushed beneath the psychological weight of being alive proves that I’m a con artist. Aren’t we all con artists.” 

I have this bizarre feeling like I was a different person at every other stage of my life. I feel so removed from myself then. Sometimes I feel like I was a different person a month ago. A day. Five minutes. Now.” 

“I feel so profoundly inside of myself, I can't stand it.” 

tldr: It's like the exact opposite of escapism lol, like. welcome to my brain, enjoy your stay kinda vibe. 5/5.

✨ send me book asks ✨

After watching Glaciator 2.0, we ought to revisit Hack-San, Rocketear, and Wishmaker after getting more context from this episode, because I really wanna talk about Adrien and Chat Noir's characterizations as of late. Take a look at the scene from Hack-San as an example:

While there have been instances, such as in Oblivio and Troublemaker, where Adrien occasionally displays Chat Noir's mischief and playfulness, you don't usually see Adrien act out or be petty about anything. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't recall Adrien ever "acting out" like this in his civilian form in previous episodes. For the most part, this is the first time Adrien has shown any kind of emotional outburst (or immaturity, I guess?) in his civilian form. Adrien is usually portrayed as being"perfect" because he has to uphold his father's brand. Most of Adrien's emotional range is expressed through Chat Noir because Chat Noir is Adrien's emotional outlet.

We don't typically see Adrien act like this unless he's Chat Noir. Because of this, I have always found it a bit challenging to see Adrien and Chat Noir as the same person. At first, I thought that the writers couldn't make up their minds with his characterization, but now, especially after seeing Wishmaker, I think this disconnect between Adrien and Chat Noir was an intentional writing choice.

It's so easy for the audience to see Adrien and Chat Noir as two separate characters because, in a way, they are. That's certainly how Adrien views himself; he's either this teenage heartthrob who's constantly on his best behaviour, or he's the goofy and mischievous Chat Noir. These two personality traits are seemingly at odds with each other, and yet Adrien somehow embodies them both. This contrast was made especially clear in the art room scene in Lies:

"There. This is really you."

"Do you really think?"

"Yes. You're... perfect."

This scene honestly told us so much more about Adrien than I think most of us realize. A lot of people have analyzed this scene and said that Kagami is able to see Adrien for who he really is, but I don't think that's the case at all. Look at his reaction. If Adrien had a strong sense of self in the first place, then this interaction between him and Kagami wouldn't be like this at all. Adrien would be happy, or at the very least flattered, that someone actually understood him and wanted to get to know the real him. Yet, look at Adrien's face; he's not scared or put off, but he's definitely not happy nor relieved. He's unsure. He's confused. He doesn't connect with Kagami because he doesn't understand what Kagami means. Kagami only sees what she thinks is Adrien's true self, but even Adrien has no clue what that even is.

This season, Adrien is starting to push back against his father, as we saw in Mega Leech, and that line between Adrien and Chat Noir is slowly starting to blur. This "perfect" facade that Adrien has to perform all the time is starting to dissipate. His flaws are starting to show as he's being put in situations where he has to assert himself.

Now, before he can do all of that, Adrien is going to have to come to terms with that the fact that Ladybug isn't interested in Chat Noir, and that the idea of them being together is completely off the table.

Some people might look at this and say "well, yeah, it's about time. Adrien needs to learn about boundaries and stop projecting this fantasy onto Ladybug." That's true, yes, but a lot of people forget just how isolated Adrien is and just how desperate he is for some kind of deep emotional connection. Remember this scene in Glaciator?

"Perhaps Ladybug will love me someday. I mean, like I love her. I have to believe. In the meantime, her friendship is the best gift of all."

Most of us overlooked this scene, but this was a crucial piece of characterization for Adrien, not to mention foreshadowing for Glaciator 2.0.

Of course, Adrien values Ladybug's friendship, but he always had this hope that she was going to fall for him eventually. Whenever horrible things went on in his life, he always turned to Laybug to make him feel better. Even after defeating the akuma in Lies, despite being on rocky terms with Kagami, he doesn't seem as bothered by it because Ladybug was still practically living in his head rent-free.

This is a heavy contrast to the way Marinette felt about her breakup with Luka, which left her devasted.

In Adrien's case, he's not just clinging onto this romantic fantasy, he's become dependent on it for his emotional well-being, so much to the point where it clouds his better judgement. Now he's experiencing emotional whiplash after being faced with the fact that his fantasy won't ever become a reality. He can't depend on this fantasy anymore, because now he has to face all of the loneliness and lack of control he has in his life and realize that he's the only one that can change it.

This is the catalyst for Adrien's character development, and it's going to be intense.

do you have any tips for making a webcomic? i want to make one but don't really know how to start n all that stuff

i've made a post like this before a long time ago, but since it's been quite a while since i made it i'll do a new one! warning for long text heavy post ahead

so, when you make a comic, first you need an idea obviously. getting ideas for stories can come in many different ways, whether it be life experiences, interests you have, messages you want to send-- literally any of these things, and there's lots of other ways you can get them too. with me personally, i made sparklecare originally because i had a bad traumatic hospital experience and i kind of wanted to... make fun of it? and that was my weird way of coping. now obviously with the reboot i don't do that, it's a lot more serious, but that was the original basis of the story. i also wanted to make something with bright colorful characters and eye straining colors, so that added to the concept. you can use a life experience like this or just something that interests you, it doesn't really matter what it is as long as you like your idea.

another thing i've mentioned before that helps me most (and might help others maybe), when you make a story, you need to be your own #1 fan. you need to be able to pour your heart into your characters and connect with them and treat your story like it's a fandom you're fixating on. i know this is kinda weirdly specific and i don't think most people say this, but this is the way i've been able to stay interested in my OCs and not give up on my stories easily. i have a lot of stories besides SC and KG that even though i don't post about publicly yet (because they're not at a point where i feel like there's enough to share and all) and i still find myself going back to them even after months of being focused on other stuff (and i hope i can share them all someday!) i don't know if this works for everyone obviously but it's been the biggest motivator for me and it's kinda why i post about my OCs on here like i'm a fan blog, because i'm treating them like a fandom, they're my special interest. it's what works for me!

then there's actually writing and drawing the comic. sparklecare is a group project for me so i'm not the only person working on it, but that doesn't mean you need a big team to do your comic! you can very much do it all by yourself. when you're writing the story, you want to have a clear ending in mind VERY early on. we had the main event of the final volume of the comic planned before the reboot even started, so we knew how it was gonna end from pretty much the beginning. you want to have this ending in mind so putting the puzzle pieces of how you'll get there will be much easier-- if you already know where it's going. also, please script your comic! you can do it in a traditional scripting format or you can do it in your own way, as long as you plan the page contents and dialogue in advance.

then with drawing, have your script first, and plan out your pages. know where the speech bubbles will go before you draw everything else so you don't have things you put a bunch of detail into covered up by the bubbles. keep in mind that the longer you work on it, your art style might change, but this isn't necessarily a bad thing! this happened a lot with SC-- but as long as the character's general design basics stay mostly the same you don't need to worry about little things being tweaked over time-- because this happens with pretty much all comics! so don't worry about that.

also, most important: remember that making comics can take a really long time, especially if you're doing it by yourself! don't rush your work or do too much at once because not only can this injure you (*points at myself, the permanently injured person from making comics*) but the steadier you pace yourself the better things will look! be kind to your hand(s) and your body, know your limits, and take breaks. do stretches. don't overwork yourself! you can do a schedule if you want to but if you do one please make sure you have a comic buffer in advance so you don't have to finish things at the last second (which can lead to injury from rushing). this comic uses a page buffer too.

i hope all this helps! if you have any other specific questions about comic making feel free to ask, i've been a cartoonist for years so i have a lot of experience with this stuff and i can try to answer anything you want to know about it!

“I Really Don’t Want You to Go”, art commissioned by Lora (darkmagess on Ao3) for her fic Oidhche. Lora thought it’s be cool if a talked a little about this piece, so we made this Q&A where I explained about my creative process, for those who are curious about it! 

When I commissioned this piece, I selected the scene that I wanted, and gave some direction about how the characters should be positioned, but not super detailed. How did you arrive at the physical arrangement of their bodies and limbs?

My process is generally very intuitive. As we agreed the scene should be in front view so the observer could see their expressions and the bruises on Jaskier's face more clearly, I started from that and kept in mind the strongest feelings I got from the characters when I first read the story: Jaskier's grief and his need for Geralt's comforting and protective company, and Geralt's angst and frustration for not being able to protect nor avenge him. A lot of these feelings should be shown by their body language - by their arms and hands. So I made some sketches with their arms in slightly different positions that I hoped transmitted those same feelings, so we could then pick the most accurate and visually interesting one.

It’s notable to me that the viewer cannot see really any of Jaskier’s body. Was that intentional or a product of just trying to put their arms where they should go?

At first it wasn't something I was thinking about, but then I noticed the more I made variations for the composition, the less of his body we could see, and it felt right for me. I don't think Jaskier would want his body to be seen by anyone at that point, and Geralt wouldn't let his will be disrespected again. The fact it’s Geralt’s strong arms covering his chest and that Jaskier is holding them like that is very symbolic for me.

Did you consider any other ways of drawing this scene that would have shown his bruised torso?

I did consider showing it because of the bruises! It was in my first sketch, actually. But then I opted not to. I think almost everything we add (and don't) in paintings like that should be there to communicate something. It's one painting to contextualize a whole situation and a bunch of feelings that were described beautifully in thousands of words, and sometimes I have to make this kind of decision in order to focus on what is more crucial to be communicated to the viewer. In this piece, the violence is already on Jaskier’s face, wrist and fist, and I thought having Jaskier covering/protecting his body after being violated would be more meaningful and respectful to the character's feelings than having his abused body exposed.

Can you talk about the bruises in general? Bruising can be anywhere from light discoloration to massive swelling with very black-blue coloring. How did you choose what to do?

I knew Jaskier's bruises couldn't be super purple nor blue because they were under candlelight, that’s warm and yellow. But at first they were darker, and were calling too much attention. I wanted their feelings and the things that expressed them to be the focal points there and not the violence Jaskier had been through, so I toned the bruises down until my eyes could roam over the composition without being immediately dragged by them.

Geralt’s arm is a real focus of the painting. The lighting draws your eye to it. The muscle is large and prominent. You covered it in fine, dark hairs. What made you decide to draw the viewer’s eye there?

Aw yeah, that's my favorite part of it! Geralt's arms are a main focal point because they're related to both Jaskier's need for comfort and protection and Geralt's need to protect him. They're there, wrapped around Jaskier, easing both their hearts.

Everyone loves the way you draw hair. Is there a trick to it? Something you learned or taught yourself?

I love getting compliments about this! Well, I don’t think there’s a trick specifically to it. Drawing hair is all about building textures, just like painting skin, clothes… I start with a big, square, texture brush to place general light and shadow, then I reduce its size to do the same in smaller areas, and after it’s done I pick a tiny and pointed brush for the fine hair strands. I always work from bigger to smaller areas. I learned that in Fine Arts School, painting with oils. And I’m aware I draw Geralt’s hair like he moisturizes it everyday. Believe it or not, it’s easier to do it like that than make it look like it really is in the series.

What do you think you spent a lot of time on that you’re not sure anyone will notice?

Probably Jaskier’s hand in the water! It’s one of my favorite details.

Ok, now some fan questions:

Will you stream working on your art on Twitch?

HA. I’m very shy, so probably not. But I want to record my painting process someday.  

How do you maintain working on art as both a job and a hobby?

That’s sometimes a big problem, because it’s hard for me to take a break from drawing and I need to, otherwise my body will perish sooner than it should. But besides that, I always try to save some time to work on my own ideas between one commission and another, and force myself to get up and workout whenever I have enough willpower to. 

Do you have any pets? If so, can they appear on the Twitch stream?

This question is so cute. But no, I don’t have any pets yet! I’m hoping to adopt a little cat as soon as I’m living in my own apartment.

I saw your post comparing the finales of odd taxi and wonder egg and i agree the odd taxi finale was TIGHT - i was wondering though if you knew about the production issues on wep and that's why they had that recap episode. the actual actual finale just came out today!

Hey ^^.

Yeah, I'm aware of the production issues on WEP and I've seen the proper finale. Just gonna go through my understanding of them below so sorry if I repeat stuff you're already aware of!

(EDIT: This post got a lot longer than I intended so I put it under a readmore but it basically goes into my opinion on the production stuff as well as how the finale contradicts the groundwork previously laid out)

From what I gather, they've had scheduling issues throughout which led to them having to bring in a lot of foreign animators (I think ANN actually did an interview with some of the translators involved in relaying information between production and the animators - I'll see if I can find that after this). There were also instances where I believe people involved in the production literally ended up in hospital due to overwork.

In terms of the finale episode itself, I think this reddit post gives the gist of the timeline:

(Please keep in mind that though this is an example from just the finale, it happened for several episodes that they only finished with hours to spare - this actually led to the episode being released late on the Eng sub side a couple of times)

I think with WEP, it is going to become difficult to untangle where the issues arise from the production problems and where it's down to the actual writing and directing.

The show definitely started strong and in terms of tackling the really dicey topics it did superbly (I remember my only real issue on that end prior to the finale was the Accas commenting on "male vs female suicides" and iirc that was clarified on Twitter as *not* being the views of the writers - and the Accas acting that way tied in massively with their backstory in the Frill episode and how they clearly don't understand.) The art and animation throughout? Honestly, if I didn't know already about the production issues from outside sources like Twitter I'm not sure I would've been able to tell? Because for the most part it was ridiculously solid (though of course there were still signs - namely the midpoint recap episode and the way they stopped interweaving flower language near the very end and the sheer number of stills they used in ep 13).

Where the finale fell down in my eyes was the very thing that brought me into the series in the first place, aka how it handled the difficult topics. The narrative of the series is fairly strong early on, about how various societal factors contribute towards suicides, especially in young girls. This starts to falter somewhat down the latter end, though my personal opinion is that the Frill stuff doesn't discount the societal factors, but rather the pacing was off with her introduction and so there was no way the Frill and AI angle would have time to be fully explored and resolved within the remaining episodes. Anyway, society and how it impacts on minors with fairly nuanced takes in terms of how adults can take advantage of power dynamics over minors. There’s also the more straightforward character part about how the main four start as outsiders but end up actually becoming proper friends, hanging out outside of the egg quests.

With this in mind, there are some places where the final episode actively went against the previously laid groundwork:

In the Frill ep, we see Himari claiming to Ura-Acca that she’ll be “marriable” when she grows up, with the implication that this is pretty horrifying just hammered in by how she then mimics Frill with the “pop” noise. And then separately from this, we see that Sawaki has painted art of Ai as a grown-up and says “someday you’ll be a wonderful, adult woman like your mother”. Her mother who, I have to point out here, he is dating. There are various other red flags throughout the episodes but I’m just highlighting this one because it’s a parallel within the series itself. In the finale what we get is Sawaki saying that truth behind Koito’s suicide (which he was heavily implicated in) was “Koito tried to put advances on me, yelled rape accusations, then fell off a building”. And that scene ends with alt!Koito saying “Mr Sawaki is kind”. The entire series had been setting up red flags in terms of Sawaki’s relationship with Koito pre-series as well as his behaviour towards Ai and then the resolution is just “Koito was lying about rape threats and Sawaki is innocent”. Like, you can’t even argue this is somehow commentary on how there can be witch hunts when people make false accusations because nothing happened to Sawaki. It’s just plain and simple going against both Sawaki’s suspicious behaviour *and* undermining a lot of the previous points made about sexual harassment by having it be that Koito was lying. (Sidenote: If you *did* want to have something about people lying about sexual harassment without it undermining the rest of the series, you would have put it midway and had counter examples throughout, not put it at the very end so it becomes the final say, so to speak.)

Ura-Acca, Acca, and Frill. I personally think some of this is down to pacing issues which were present earlier than the finale compounded by the overall production issues, but regardless, this entire plotline with Frill and her minions was set up a few episodes prior to the finale. In the finale itself, the only time we even see Frill is in Neiru’s dream where her only role is to reveal that Neiru is an AI (and bring up the potential parallels that could be contained in that only to immediately go “but we don’t have time to unpack that”). The Accas just exist to say to Ai about the eggs, with no mention of the Warriors of Eros or Fear of Death stuff, despite how all four girls managed to achieve their goals. There is just no resolution or even acknowledgement as to this storyline.

This one is more subjective and tied in to how Neiru was handled. A big point which is shown during the series but explicitly laid out in ep 12 is how Ai has friends now and has grown throughout the series. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that people drift and that they no longer have the egg quests tying them together. But at the same time, why make the point near the end when Ai is talking to her alt!self that she has friends and has grown now if you’re then just going to undo that at the final hurdle. (I could go into the Neiru stuff specifically but I think this post has gotten long enough and I’d tangent even further from talking about consistency throughout the series into the general writing of the last episode)

In retrospect, I do think you can tell from episode 12 that it was going to be almost impossible for WEP to stick the landing from the pieces that we had there, but I think it could have been salvageable if they'd just kept their own themes and narrative consistent with the rest of the show.

I was at work all day and almost missed the notif that requests were open! I’d like to request head cannons for Ellen Ripley, Will Graham, the Looksee, Danny Torrence, Candyman, Tiffany Valentine, Sidney Prescott, Emily Prentiss, David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Olivia Benson, and Elliot Stabler with a writer S/O that uses their experiences/lives as inspiration? Sorry it’s a bit of a mixed bag of folks lol, thank you!!

So, tumblr only allows 10 images per post, so please forgive me for combining two sets of characters together! ALSO: Danny is completely based off of his character from the book! So if it doesn’t line up with the movie I’m sorry but also fuck them for changing his character

Ellen

Ellen is all for you writing about what you’ve been through and experienced. It makes for a much more personal story and means so much more to not only you but people who can relate to what you’ve finished. She’s more than happy to help you in writing or editing, even giving you her own experiences if you’d like to get a bit of outsider information. God knows she’s got a lot of stories to fuel your imagination for a while.

Will

Will loves seeing you have something that puts you at ease at the end of the day, even if it’s talking or taking notes about your day. Being able to sit with you and give your drafts a read is something he looks forward to doing at the end of the day, too. As much as he’d love to take you out and give you the chance to have new, and maybe better, experiences with him, he doesn’t want to barge in on your life and put himself into something so personal for you. Little does he know, you look forward into starting a new chapter, literally, with him.

Danny

He can’t lie, the first time he really caught wind of you being a writer, he was a bit nervous. He felt like he just really couldn’t get away from his past, but once you answer his numerous questions about how you feel about writing, what you write about, when you do it, he feels much more at ease. You manage to convince him that it can be pretty therapeutic, for you at least, and fun! Danny isn’t too sure he wants to open those boxes and put them on paper just yet, but he’ll look forward to the upcoming sober chapters of his life with you.

The Look-see

In all honesty, he could watch you write and jot down your outlines just about all day. It’s one of the reasons he didn’t kill you in the first place. You were able to get over your grief by writing down your past experiences and pain all into one collective narrative. Why don’t more people do that? Well, he still wants to get his kills in but... still. Maybe he can feed off of grief with paper, he’ll read it somehow. Use echolocation so the sound bounces off of the led on the paper, I don’t fucking know.

Candyman

Writing is sure a pure form of art, Daniel can respect that. Of course, that means that he is more than willing to be your proofreader and editor after you’ve been working just about all day. It brings him joy to discover so much about you and your past, even if some of them aren’t too good. Everyone’s got a little baggage to them, but he’s willing to be there to help you carry it. He can be there to help you write it, too!

Tiffany

Tiffany thinks it’s so badass! I mean, shit, why didn’t she think of that? She’d have one fucked up book, but it’d be funny to her. Tiff loves to read your stuff like it’s an action novel, asking you loads of questions about certain events that actually happened. So you actually based this piece off of getting trampled by a camel? Get the fuck outta here..... please tell her more she’s begging, she’s never seen a real camel. Are they real? Just tell her your story from day 1.

Sidney

There’s been too many mock books and false narratives about her story already, so she hasn’t really bothered to put her real story out there. But she’s glad to see that your stories and writings are much more tame and enjoyable to read than a halloween-brand killer chasing her that ended up being her boyfriend and his best friend. She’d much rather read about your first encounter with water. Almost drowning, but still pretty funny for the both of you.

Emily & Spencer

Emily is all for you writing to get your emotions out, even if you do it for fun! She writes just a little bit in her spare time, or even when she’s on the plane, but insists on you sending her copies of what you’ve wrote so far for her to read. If you write on your computer that’s even better, you can just send them to her like that. Every time she reads something by you she can’t help but smile, no matter what it’s about.

Spencer loves to read your work! He thinks it’s a good ideas too, there can be a lot of benefits to writing memories and emotions down on paper, or a doc. He’s more than happy to edit your writings if you ask, but you’ll probably find little pen corrections here and there on whatever you’ve given to him to pick through. Even talking about it with you at the end of the day is fine with him.

Rossi

David writes, so he knows just how your brain functions one somedays. Don’t even get him started on writers block, but it’s different for him to see someone writing just based on their experiences, and then turning it into it’s own story. It’s more interesting than an autobiography, but more personal than a fictional piece. You can definitely find him at the end of the day sifting through your notes and finished pieces, even the ones you didn’t want him to read yet while you’re asleep.

Olivia & Elliot

Olivia strongly advocates for you to continue this sort of writing. She’s seen and read tons of books based on traumatic experiences, but this is a good refresher, and she gets to read it in the making. Her favorite part of your process is hearing you talk out loud to yourself when writing. Your though process says a lot to her.

Elliot, while advocating for this type of writing as well, is definitely more of a snoop than anything else. Of course, you’re okay with him reading what you’ve got, making piles of finished and WIPs that you’d rather him wait to see. But do you really think that’s gonna stop him from looking through those when you’re asleep or away? No. He just feel better knowing just about everything about you to make sure he’s doing things right.