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niallsgoldhoop · 1 month

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sweet spot

a niall horan short story part one of six / six thousand words-ish nsfw, 18+

“I’m going to get another drink!”

I smile at my friends before turning away from the round table we’ve been sitting at, cutting my way through the crowded bar full of people dressed in various shades of green.

St. Patrick’s Day was the day to go out.

This year, for once, it fell on a Sunday which was the only day that I was off work.

Not that I was complaining— Owning my own bakery was the one and only thing that I had ever wanted and dreamed of.

So this morning when a couple of my closest friends asked if I wanted to go out with them later that night, the only obvious answer was yes.

“What can I get for you?” Looking up at me with a wide smile, the girl behind the bar mixes a couple of drinks before pushing the one in her hand right to the girl next to me.

Biting on my bottom lip, my eyes scan over the rows of liquor bottles lined up behind her. “I’ll just take an old fashioned with an extra cherry, please!”

“You got it, babe.”

Turning her back to me and pouring my drink, I lean against the dark wooden bar top to wait. While I’ve made my rounds to different pubs and bars over the years, I’d never been to Wilson’s before. It was full of sports memorabilia and vintage Guinness signs.

As my eyes take in everything around me, I realize one more thing that this bar has that none of the others have ever had.

Him.

Jesus Christ.

Even from here I can tell his eyes are light— a contrast to the dark chestnut color of his hair that curls out from the bottom of the Boston Red Sox hat perched on top of his head.

Sitting with a small group much like my own, the moment his eyes meet mine from across the distance something shifts deep inside my belly.

Heat blooms across my cheeks as I look away, focusing my vision on the baseball game playing on the television to my left, only I definitely couldn’t tell you a single thing on it.

“See something you like?”

Whipping around at the sound of a low, Irish accent, I find myself face to face with the most attractive man I’ve ever seen.

If I thought he was captivating from across the room?

That was nothing compared to standing right next to him.

Under the brim of his hat, those eyes are so blue that it takes my breath away especially when the golden ring around his pupil catches the light when his fingers grip the brim of his hat and turn it backwards.

Fuck me.

“I—Um—“ Words evade me as he looks over the features of my face, those eyes falling to my lips for the longest few seconds of my life.

Running his hand over the dark scruff lining his jaw, it does nothing to hide the smirk that pulls at the corner of his full lips. “Cat got your tongue?”

This time I realize it’s my turn to let my eyes linger where they shouldn’t as a smug smile pulls on the corner of my own lips.

“Niall.” Holding his hand out to me, goosebumps travel up my arms at the electric touch between us. “And you?”

Just as I go to answer, the drink I ordered slides in front of me, looking so refreshing that I can’t help but pick one of the cherries out and bite it between my teeth, my tongue catching the drop of cherry flavored whiskey from my bottom lip.

“Willow.”

His thoat bobs against his swallow, that thick accent rough and low as he pushes closer to me as someone slides up to the bar behind him, repeating my name back to me as if he was imagining the taste of it on his own tongue. “Willow.”

I’ve never met someone who I’ve been able to fall into a conversation with so quickly. It feels like we stand there forever, slowly drifting closer and closer to each other. The smell of his vetiver and bergamot cologne becomes more and more intoxicating as time goes on.

“So, this is your holiday?” Taking a sip of the amber liquid from my glass, I look up at him through my lashes as the last rays of the sun filter through the old stained glass windows of the bar.

His laugh is loud and full before he leans a little closer to be heard over the noise, his tone playful with something else hidden under the surface. “I guess that depends.”

“Oh yeah?” A smirk pulls at the corner of my lips when Niall reaches out, his finger boldly tracing the thin green strap over my shoulder before following the path of my collarbone. “On what?”

A final peak of the sun hits the gold hoop in his ear just before he leans forward, his soft lips brushing against the shell of my ear. “Are you going to kiss me because I’m Irish?”

“I don’t know—“ Reaching forward, my middle finger tucks into the pocket of his jeans as I look up at him, my head tilting to the side. “Are you gonna kiss me if I’m not?”

Time stands still between us as Niall glances behind him, towards the table of friends he left behind, his hand dropping to my waist where the tips of his fingers slide just barely under the top of my jeans. “Maybe not on the lips— But I can think of some other places I’d like to get my mouth.”

“Here?” This time it’s my turn to look behind me, towards my friends. “I—“

“Well, I’m not opposed to that.” His voice sounds laden with honey. “I won’t lie, Willow— You are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.”

A blush crowds the apples of my cheeks as I push a lock of hair behind my ear. “I could say the same about you, Niall.”

“Will they miss you?” Blue eyes look over the top of my head as he looks towards my friends. “Because I know the guys at my table won’t miss me.”

Biting my bottom lip, I shake my head. “They’ll be fine.”

I wasn’t a stranger to a one night stand— in fact, I feel like that’s what I preferred.

Working the hours at the bakery mixed with helping my sister, it just worked out that way. Plus it never really bothered me to be single.

There was something about Niall that felt honest.

Deep in those sapphire eyes with their golden sunset, there was a feeling in my gut of trust.

Ever since I was younger I’d always had intuition that was rarely ever wrong, something that I held close to my heart, letting myself lean into those feelings.

“So what do you say, Willow?” That brilliant smile splits across his perfect features, a couple of small crinkles at the corner of his eyes. “Want to get out of here?”

“Are you asking me to make an Irish exit?” A laugh bubbles out from my lips as I look up to him.

With a shrug of his shoulders, that hand resting along the top of my hip slides along the rough material on my jeans before his fingers dip into the waistband, pulling my body flush with his as his lips brush across my jaw. “Is it still an Irish exit if you leave with someone who’s Irish?”

“Mm, maybe not.” My words come on an exaggerated breath— one not meant for the public to hear. “Let me just send my location to my friends and tell them I’m leaving.”

Niall nips my earlobe. “I can't stop thinking about what I’ll do when I’m alone with you.”

Pulling some cash out of my wallet and pushing it across the bar, I listen to the fire blazing through my blood as I thread my fingers through his, looking up at him with a smile.

“I can't wait to find out.”

_________

I’ve never wanted someone so bad.

The entire ride in the back of the taxi to Niall’s house was like the ultimate tease of his attention.

From the words he whispered against my skin to the way his hands rested heavy on my thigh, his pinky just teasing along the seam of my jeans.

His lips hadn’t even met mine and I already knew just how impactful it would be when they do.

God, how fucking god they’ll feel.

On my lips.

On my skin.

When his hand finds mine as he says goodbye to our driver, butterflies flood my belly as he guides me in front of him to the front door of a quaint bungalow style house complete with a blooming garden.

“Fucking finally.” My body presses into his front door as he reaches into his pocket, the sound of metal keys cutting through the crisp air. “When I saw you— Standing at that bar— All I could think about was getting you here, with me.”

One hand wraps around my waist as the other pushes the key into the lock, turning it and pushing open the heavy door. As much as I’d like to look at everything inside, that idea falls flat when Niall grips me by the hips, spinning us around and pushing my back into the door as it slams shut.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this? With where this is going?” Cupping my jaw, his thumb presses under my chin to bring my gaze to his. “If we’re going to do this— Together— I want you to be vocal, okay? I want to hear you answer me and tell me what you want, what you need. Can you do that for me, Willow?”

I swallow the nerves building up, nodding my head, my tongue rolls over my body lip. “Yes— Yes, I can do that. Please, Niall—“

“Come here.”

When the space between us closes, his lips on mine, I swear to god it feels like the earth starts to spin in reverse.

Soft and supple, Niall moves his lips along with mine as if he’d been doing just that for years. I can't even contain the whimper that falls from my own lips when his tongue teases across my top lip as his hands slide under the thin top that I pulled on this morning.

Just feeling his skin against mine sends a wave of goosebumps across my body, making me arch my back to push myself even closer to his warm body, feeling the heat emanating from him.

“Fuck.” His teeth pull on my bottom lip, just enough pressure to send a jolt through my nervous system. “I could stand here and kiss you all night, Jesus Christ.”

“Mhm.” Is my only reply as my lips travel from his and across the scruff lining his jaw, down to the spot under his golden earring, pulling the skin between my teeth and soothing it with my tongue. “But then I wouldn’t get to see this.” Dropping one of my hands, I cup him through his jeans and listen to the low groan from deep in his throat. “Wouldn’t that be a shame?”

“Yeah? You want to see my cock nice and hard for you— Is that it?” Niall pulls back just enough to meet my gaze as his hands fall from under my shirt. “I’m going to ask you some questions, okay?”

“Okay.” Breathless, I feel the electricity as it buzzes underneath my skin.

“Is anything off limits for you?” Working the button of my jeans, he keeps those blue eyes on mine.

Shaking my head, I feel my heart rate skipping a beat. “No.”

“Good.” A smile plays at the corner of his lips as the unmistakable sound of his fingers pulling down the zipper fills the space around us. “Do you need a safe word just in case?”

“N—No.” I shake my head again. “I don’t.”

A small nod is the only response I get before Niall drops down in front of me, looking up at me from his knees, his fingers curling around the edge of my pants before pulling them down to reveal the skimpy lacy covering my center.

“Jesus Christ.” Strong hands drag up my thighs as his eyes go wide. “This incredible body is just for me tonight, is that right?”

Through dark lashes framing his eyes, the blue fades out as the darkness of his pupils expand. “For tonight, yeah.”

“Are you going to leave that pretty green top on? Or take it off?” The very top of his finger traces the edge of the black lace, making my thighs inadvertently rub together. “Don’t worry— I’ll take care of you.”

Gripping the edges of my shirt and pulling it off, I drop it next to where my shoes and my jeans sit in a small pile, my hand reaching out to run through Niall’s dark hair.

When the soft light from the lamp across the living room catches the silver barbells through my nipples, his eyes close as he tilts his face up to the ceiling, almost like he’s in need of his own savior.

“Willow.” My name falls off his lips on a groan, one from deep inside his chest. “God.”

With my back still against the front door, a small gasp leaves me when Niall’s lips press against my skin, small kisses dancing across my thighs and the soft nips from his teeth adding to the sensation.

“Look at you— Soaking wet.” Dragging his finger over the center of the damp fabric, I tilt my head back when he presses his fingertips to my clit. “I bet you taste sweet, so fucking sweet.”

“Maybe if you quit talking you’ll find out.” I answer.

Niall scoffs, looking up at me. “So the pretty girl from the bar has a bratty side, does she?”

Hooking his finger into the lace and pulling it to the side, I can’t help the way my lips pop open as his tongue moves through my center, the tip of his tongue swirling around my throbbing clit before pulling away.

“Niall—“

“You know, I like brats.” Pressing a soft kiss to my thigh, his nails drag down the back of my thighs before peeling the scrap of material from my body. “So by all means— Keep going.”

Before I can formulate a response, he buries his face between my legs and when he suctions his lips around my clit, it feels like all I can do is not to unravel right then and there. Burying my hands in his hair, I moan out as he goes back and forth between tracing mindless patterns across the sensitive nerve and flicking his tongue in a rhythm that doesn’t even seem humanly possible.

“So fucking sweet.” Resting his head on my lower stomach, I take a second to catch my breath before feeling his finger as he drags it through the wetness he’s created. “I bet this cunt is so tight, so warm.”

Pressing one finger inside, he only draws it back to add a second one before hooking them both forward and finding the spot that only those few and far between have been able to find.

“Niall, oh god—“ Letting go of his soft brunette waves, I let my fingers slide up my belly until they find the silver piercings on my chest, messing with them to add another level to the pleasure he’s giving me. “That feels so good, so damn good.”

“Let me.” Moving my hands out of the way, he grips my heavy breast in his hand before flicking the metal and making me cry out. “Put your hands up— Over your head.”

I do as I’m told just as he finds his home between my legs again, the sounds coming from the back of his throat making me whimper louder than I even knew was possible. Especially when he lifts my leg over his shoulder, his tongue working in tandem with his fingers as he eats me with fervor— as if he hasn’t had a drop of water in a desert for years.

“Are you going to come for me like this? Against my front door?” Nipping the sensitive nerve, I feel my walls flutter against his fingers. “How many times has someone made you come before, Willow?”

My eyes flutter closed as he sucks and licks me like never before, his fingers pressing harder inside of me. “Thr—Fuck, three.”

“Challenge accepted.”

Those words are the last ones I hear before he brings me to a pleasure I’ve never known.

“Fuck!” Letting my mouth fall open, I cry out as my orgasm crashes through my body. “Niall.“

He stands up to tower over me, cupping my jaw and letting his fingers dig into my cheeks, a silent question.

When I nod and open my mouth, he lets his saliva mixed with my release gather on his tongue before letting it fall into my waiting mouth.

“Perfect— You are literally perfect.” Crashing his lips to mine, when his hands slide down my thighs, I let him wrap them around his waist before he turns us away from the door. “I’m going to have so much fun making a mess out of you— wrecking you.”

His lips move against mine in a slower kiss than before, taking his time.

I pull back from him just enough to see the dark walls of his bedroom, the bed looking like a cloud from the fluffy sheets and the half made duvet spread across the top.

Niall sits in the edge of the bed, his hands moving across my ass at the same time he drops his lips to my neck, leaving wet kisses down until he takes one of my nipples into his mouth.

“Oh, yes.” Barely a whisper, the sensation of his warm mouth along with his tongue flicking across the metal makes me arch my back. “More.”

Releasing one and doing the same with the other, he pulls away too soon. “Get on your knees first.”

“And if I say no?” I gripping the hair at the base of his neck, I pull until he has to tilt his head back to look up at me. “If I want to be a brat?”

A low laugh falls from his lips as he stands to his full height, turning so that he can drop me down onto the bed, reaching out and grabbing a fist full of my hair just hard enough that I feel the sting in my scalp.

From my scalp all the way to the spot between my legs.

“You want to be difficult? That’s fine.” Working the button of his pants, I bite my bottom lip in anticipation. “You can be difficult with my cock down your throat, yeah?”

When he releases my hair, his hands make quick work of his pants and briefs, shoving them to the floor and kicking them off to be forgotten until later before grabbing his shirt and adding that to the pile.

Just the sight before me makes me whimper.

A perfect amount of dark hair dusts across his chest and even matches the trimmed hair that leads to the most perfect cock that I’ve ever seen.

“Go on, put your mouth on me.” Gripping himself in his left hand, Niall presses the tip of his cock to my bottom lip, using it to pull it down to release it with with a pop. “Let me see how well I fit.”

Opening my mouth, I flick my tongue along the underside of his length, looking up at him through my lashes before closing my lips around him and drawing him in.

“Holy shit.” Dropping his hand, he threads it through my hair instead. “Just like that, baby.”

The small amount of praise makes me take him deeper, letting my tongue run along the thick vein that decorates him. His hand in my hair tightens as he hits the back of my throat, a moan breaking through his lips.

“Open your throat for me, I know you can take more than that.” Niall demands.

Doing just that, I let my jaw relax and when he pushes even further, the intrusion makes my throat restrict— gagging around him and feeling tears rush to the corners of my eyes.

“Again—“

Pushing forward, this time I let him rest at the back of my throat for a couple more seconds before pulling back, using my fist to work him over as I catch my breath.

I don’t waste time before taking him back in my mouth, keeping my eyes on his as I taste the saltiness of him, wishing more than anything he would give me everything— to let me swallow everything he could give me.

“I can’t—“ Shaking his head, Niall pulls back. “You’re mouth feels too good, Will—“

The shortened version of my name makes butterflies erupt in my stomach, ones that I immediately have to tamper down at the reminder that this is what it is.

One night.

A nickname means nothing.

“You’re ruining my fun.” I say with a pout, looking up at him.

“I am?” He grins as he looks down at me, his tongue rolling across the inside of his cheek as I nod. “Fuck, then around and keep your hands where I can see them.”

Eager to please, I maneuver around the mattress until I face away from him, letting my palms run across the soft sheets until they extend in front of me while Niall drops his hands to my ass.

“Willow, were you being honest when you said nothing was off the table for you?” Smooth palms work small circles across my skin.

Turning to look over my shoulder, I catch Niall’s gaze looking at where he wants to be buried, his bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I was being honest— Do your worst, Niall.”

Before I can finish my last breath, he raises his palm and brings it down across my skin making me cry out at the sting of pain.

“How’s that feel?” He asks, bending to press a kiss to the area. “ Feel good?”

“Yes, yes—“

Another sting across the opposite side, this one harder than the other as he squeezes my flesh in his hand. “Good, good girl.”

After a few more stinging strikes, I can feel my arousal as it drips between my thighs, the need for him so strong that I don’t know how to even possibly control it.

“Niall, I need more— Please, give me more.” I beg.

“Tell me now… Do you want me to get a condom?” Voice thick, his lips press to the middle of my bare back as he bends over me, letting his hands run over my breasts and toy with my nipples. “I’ll do whatever you want.”

“No, no.” Shaking my head, I breathe out. “I get tested and I’m clean.”

“I am too.” Warm breath skates across my back. “I can show you the results.”

Rolling my lips together, I whimper. “Don’t make me wait— I need to feel you inside of me.”

Niall presses one last kiss to the center of my back before I feel the blunt head of his cock as he runs it through my center, coating himself in me.

If I thought he was going to say something— I was wrong.

Instead, he grips my hips in his hands and buries himself so deep inside of me that my cries seem to ricochet off the walls from feeling him filling me.

“So fucking perfect.” He says, pulling out to the very tip before slamming back into me and pulling my ass up to meet his thrusts. “My cock fits so well inside you. Can you feel how greedy this little cunt is, huh?”

“Oh— Oh my god—“ A moan slips from my lips as he punishes me for things I haven't even done, his grip no doubt leaving bruises of his fingertips behind. “Fuck, Niall. You’re so fucking deep.”

From behind me, I can hear the sound of his hips meeting my ass, each one more punishing and relentless than the last. Niall lets his hands slide from my hips to my ass, moving just right so that when I hear the spit leave his lips and land perfectly on his cock, I feel myself racing towards another climax.

“I can feel you squeezing me, are you going to give me another one of your pretty moans? Coat my cock?” Bringing his palm down against my skin, my knuckles turn white as I grip the sheets. “Who would have known you were this fucking filthy.”

“Right there, please don’t stop!” The cry from my lips leaves my mouth open as I choke around the moan that follows it. “I’m going to come again. Oh fuck, right there. Please.”

Niall buries himself with such power that my release lets go, barreling towards the finish line as my teeth bite down on the comforter as I push my face into the bed. “God, Willow— You’re squeezing my cock so fucking good, holy fuck.”

He pulls out of me only to pull me to the edge of the bed and roll me over, sinking himself back inside of me, making my back arch off the bed while my hands reach for anything to hold onto.

“I could spend days buried inside of you and not get enough.” Meeting my gaze, Niall slows his thrust as he rolls his hips, grinding the base of his cock against my clit. “A night isn’t enough. Play with those pretty piercings for me, Will, please.”

Using both of my hands, I pinch and play with the sensitive peaks, giving the attention that I love and loving the way his eyes feel as they travel from my eyes all the way down my body to watch where he sinks inside of me.

“Harder, I need it harder—“ I say, biting my bottom lip.

Niall leans over the bed, his hand wrapping around the base of my throat, squeezing just enough to restrict my airway. “You want to be fucked like a slut? Is that what I’m hearing?”

Only able to nod, my voice catches in my throat as he picks up his pace and thrust into me so hard that my back slides up the sheets of the bed. “Oh, fuck.”

“Yeah?” Sweat drips down the side of his neck as he hovers over me, those blue eyes flaring with unbridled lust. “How’s that?”

“So good.” I moan, my nails scratching down his chest and over the muscles of his stomach. “I feel, god. Your cock feels so good.”

“I’ve never been buried inside someone that feels like this.” He moans, tilting his head up to the ceiling. “Strangling my fucking cock. and trying to kill my for everything I have.”

Dragging his hands away from my neck, his hand splays wide across my chest as he pushes me into the mattress. “Come on baby, I can feel you ready to soak me again— Give it to me, let me have it.”

“No. I want—“

Niall groans as he brings his thumb to my mouth, pushing it in deep enough that I gag before he drops it to my clit, working circles around the nerve as I cry out his name so loud that if he had neighbors close enough they’d never have to wonder what his name is.

“Stop being difficult, fuck.” Thrusting into me, he drops his head to mine and pulls my bottom lip between his teeth. “Come around me, now.”

Giving over the control of my body, Niall fucks me as I release around him again, coating his cock and soaking the sheets as he drops his head to my neck, sucking the skin between his teeth.

“There you go, look how perfect you are when you listen.” Low and rough, his voice is like gravel. “Such a fucking good girl for me, Willow.”

I nod, feeling empty as he pulls out of me and grips my knees, pushing them apart to look down at my weeping cunt, the mess he created.

“Fuck.”

Dropping down, he wastes no time before taking my clit into his mouth, the suction so hard that it sends me spiraling into another orgasm and coating his tongue with my release, making me squirm on the sheets.

“Niall, I— I can’t, my god—“

“Get up, let me see you dripping for me.” Niall runs his tongue along his bottom lip. “I’m not done with you.”

“I—“

“Now.” His palm cracks across the side of my breast, making my breath ragged as he fists his cock, taking a step back from the bed and reaching for my ankle to drag me to the edge. “Stand up and bend over. Take my cock like the good girl you are.”

I scramble to stand up, my legs already feeling weak as he grips my hips and turns us to face the dresser along his wall, the oversized mirror hanging above it.

“You’re going to watch me fuck you in this mirror— Watch as I fill this cunt to the brink with me, do you understand me?” Wrapping my hair around his fist once, twice— he tugs on it when I don’t answer. “Fucking answer me, you slut.”

Nodding, I rest my elbows along the top of the dresser. “Give it to me, please.”

“There’s that nice girl I met at the bar.” He smiles at me. “You are so perfect, so beautiful.”

Slower than anything else we’ve done tonight, Niall pushes inside of me; it feels like every single ridge and vein touches the right spot inside of me, filling me up so full that it brings tears to my eyes.

“You gonna cry over this cock?” Pushing harder, Niall places his hands on the outside of my arms flat on top of the dresser, the heat between our bodies an inferno as his sweat slicked skin moves across mine. “Cry over how fucking good we fit— Cry over how well you’re taking me— Taking me so deep?”

Shaking my head, I find his eyes in the mirror. “I can’t—“

“You can.” Niall presses forward, my legs shaking as he reaches around to bring his fingers to my clit and working the sensitive nerve into tight circles. “You can take it, and you fucking will.”

“Niall—“

“You’re going to come all over me again and then l’m going to fill this perfect pussy so full that you’ll be dripping down your thighs for me.” For the first time, his voice falters as I feel his thrusts foster for just a second. “Then maybe I’ll be done with you.”

Pushing up onto the tips of my toes, the new angle causes me to cry out, my hands sliding along the wood and pushing a stack of shirts to the floor at the same time that Niall’s scream blends with mine as he empties himself so deep inside of me that it feels like I can’t breath.

Fucking me through both of our orgasms, I feel the tears as they stream down my cheeks at the same time I gasp for air to fill my lungs.

“Fuck, Willow— Fuck—“ Niall grips my hips as he slowly pulls out of me, his eyes trained between my legs. “Look at that.”

Dropping to his knees, I let my head fall onto my arm. “God.”

“I made such a mess of you.” Using his thumbs, he pulls me apart to watch as his release runs down the inside of my thighs. “I’ve never seen someone look so good coated in me, dripping my come.”

“Niall.” The words from my lips are hoarse as he stands up, wrapping his arms around me and pulling my spent body into his. “I’m so— so tired.”

“You did so good, baby.” Pressing a kiss to my temple, I let myself sink into his arms knowing that it’s a chance I won’t get again. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

Carrying me to the bathroom, I don’t protest when he starts a bath and helps me climb inside, the warm water soothing me into a post sex state that I have never experienced before.

As he runs his hands over my body with a lavender body wash, I let my head rest against his chest from where he sits behind me, listening to him as he keeps telling me how good I was.

How good I am.

“You know, you could stay here.” Pressing a kiss to my shoulder, I close my eyes at his words. “Spend the night.”

Shaking my head, I turn to look at him. “This was a one night thing, we know that.”

“Exactly.” Pressing a lingering kiss to my lips, he runs the tip of his nose down the length of mine. “You staying the night is still just one night.”

Chewing on the inside of my cheek, I find myself nodding.

Which is exactly how I find myself curled into his side after a change of the sheets, an oversized Harley Davidson shirt pushed up over my stomach as Niall’s warm palm keeps me pulled into him as his warm and steady breath tickles the hair at the back of my neck.

I let myself relish in his warmth for thirty more minutes before I slip out from the sheets, taking one last look at him before making it to the living room and pulling on my jeans before calling a taxi.

Slipping away from the best sex I ever had and leaving without a note is hard, but it has to be done.

Niall and I were meant for one night and nothing more.

However, when I climb into my own bed still wrapped in that white shirt, I find myself wishing for the first time in a king that there was a potential for more.

That we would be more.

That Niall would want to be more.

With me.

—————

AHHHHH!!!!!

i’m so excited about this story and putting it out here for everyone to read!!! the second part is coming soon and i hope you like this!

-a🍀

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narrycherries · 9 months

Text

living in a daydream (part2)

Once Harry returns from his business trip, things become tense.

masterlist

word count: 8.9k

warnings/tags: harry x reader, smut, mature situations, affairs, angst, short series, sensitive topics

The dinner was fine, as far as the food at least. You had to sit right next to David, despite him probably wishing you weren’t. You had to be the good wife on display. The trophy that is his. Harry wasn’t at the same table as you. He wasn’t even on the same side of the ballroom. It made you extremely upset, but you had to pretend that everything was fine. You distracted yourself with pushing the crumbs from your cheesecake around the plate with your fork.

The time went by very slowly. You wished you could just get up from the table and run away with Harry. Or at this point, just run the hell away from here. David turned to you suddenly, slightly scaring you. His voice was cold and almost toneless as he spoke.

“Be at the front entrance at 9. Don’t eat any more dessert.” He glanced down at your plate, then to your stomach.

You gulped, trying not to let tears form in your eyes. He was always making snide, subtle comments on your weight any chance he could get. You gave him a nod, then checked the time.

“Okay. I’ll probably go out by the fountain in the courtyard-“

“Whatever.” He stood up, not even listening to you, and walked away to go find whoever he wanted to talk business with.

Once he was out of your sight, you felt free. A sigh of relief came out of you as you looked down and saw a text from Harry that came just seconds ago.

From Harry: I’m caught up in a conversation right now.. are you alone?

To Harry: yes he finally let me off my leash..

You guzzled the water out of the glass, feeling excited about the fact you’ll be with Harry soon. You tapped your fingers on the table, waiting patiently for him to reply. People were walking around the big room, so you couldn’t see him anywhere.

From Harry: meet you in ten minutes, promise xx

To Harry: okay <3 i miss you

From Harry: I miss you way more honey. Can’t wait to see you

You got up from the table and grabbed your small purse. You headed straight for the lobby to get on the elevator, not giving a damn who saw you or who wondered what you were doing. At this point, you didn’t care about being caught or suspected. Harry was all you wanted and no one was going to stop you from getting him.

To Harry: I’m kinda sad right now.

From Harry: why’s that baby? :( what did he say to you?

Harry knew your marriage better than your husband probably did. He was aware of the rude comments you alway got and the way you were ignored on the daily. It made him very angry at times, especially when you tell him things that were said to you. So, you knew that telling him this wouldn’t make him happy.

To Harry: he just said to not eat anymore dessert.. then he looked at my stomach :/

You quickly found the room that you always went into. It was darker than before, so you flipped on the light before sitting down in an office chair. The room was filled with boxes and a few chairs. There were a couple tables as well, but that was all. It was just a storage room for the floor.

From Harry: what a fucking idiot.

From Harry: i outta beat the fuck out of him.

From Harry: you’re perfect. You can eat whatever the hell you want.

A soft smile spreads on your mouth. Harry always made sure you felt loved. He always gave your belly and thighs as much love as he did your neck or face. He loved every piece of you and he never wanted you to change a thing about yourself. You were perfect in his eyes, and you were glad. It felt so much easier to be with him than with your husband, especially to be naked with him or even eating with him. Harry made everything so, so much better.

To Harry: be nice baby xx and hurry up please

From Harry: coming now.

From Harry: I’ll be civil.. never nice ;)

It wasn’t long until the door opened and Harry appeared in the room. You jumped up from the chair and ran to him, arms wide open. He chuckled as he embraced you, lifting you off the ground while your arms held on around his neck.

“Oh, baby doll, i missed you so much.”

You grinned as he planted your feet on the ground, your hands moving down the sides of his neck. “I missed you more.”

“I dunno about that.” He smirked, moving forward so his bulge could rub against you.

You licked your lips and smiled while you started to sink down to your knees. He grunted, grabbing your arm to pull you back up. You gave him a pout, not understanding why he wasn’t letting you take him out of his pants yet.

“Forget about me right now.” He said, carefully pushed your dress up to your stomach. “I want to love on you.”

“Don’t be like that.. I wanna make you feel good.” You said with a huff as he turned you around to pull down the zipper.

“I’ll let you, baby, but I wanna taste you right now.”

The thought of his mouth being on you made you more excited, so you didn’t protest. He laid your dress over a box so that it wouldn’t get messed up. Next to go was his shirt. You knew that if he left it on he would soak it with sweat. You started undoing the buttons, and despite wanting to rush into this, he held onto your waist and watched your face, admiring how beautiful you were.

“Wear this shirt again.. I like it.” You said with a smile as you got down to the last button and looked up at him.

“Sure thing, doll.” He winked, then easily slipped the sleeves off his arms and put the shirt with your dress.

You kicked off your heels as he started working with his trousers. He didn’t take them all the way off, just undone them so he could free himself. You grabbed his neck and yanked him towards you, your lips landing on this. Sparks were flying and you felt like a teenager in love. Harry made you feel so alive and free, so happy. You loved nothing more than him.

Harry’s mouth went down your jaw and onto your neck, he was sort of going fast, but you didn’t want to interrupt to say anything. The feeling of his warm hands squeezing and rubbing all over your body was making your heart race. It had felt like years since you last felt his skin on yours.

“C’mere.” Harry broke away from the kiss and grabbed your hand, pulling you to the chair where you had been waiting for him minutes ago.

He sat down and grabbed your waist to guide you onto his thighs. You were glad the chair had no arms. You sat down, arms immediately going around his head and your lips fell against his again. He held tightly onto your hips and helped you rock against his hard on, which was currently smushed between your stomach and his.

“Fuck. You’re so wet.” He mumbled as you started sucking under his ear.

His hand went between your legs and he started to rub you through the thin panties. You moaned heavily, your eyes shutting as you felt the pleasure ripple through your bones. It was incredibly intense.

“Your.. your pants.” You breathed out as Harry spit onto his fingers and returned them, this time slipping them underneath the fabric.

“S’fine. I don’t care.” He shrugged, rubbing circles into your nub.

“Oh, Harry.” You gripped his nape with one hand while the other dropped down to take hold of his length. You were slowly pumping him, trying not to burst so soon. “So good.”

“Yeah? Feels good, hm, angel.” He whispered, his lips connecting to yours for a few moments. When he pulled back he gave you a smirk, pleased by the way your head fell back and a moan erupted from your throat. “Love making you feel so good, baby. Watching you come undone.. fuck.”

“No.” You uttered when he pulled his fingers away to tug your panties aside, exposing your womanhood to him.

“What?” He was slightly confused.

“I.. I don’t like being on top.” You whined out, your lip quivering as your nerves began to freeze over.

Harry sighed back to you. “I’ll move you.”

“Makes me self conscious, baby.. please, Harry.”

He licked his lips and patted your thigh, silently insisting you stand up. It would have been easy for him to lift you up and down, but you both knew you didn’t like it that way. You were too afraid of messing something up. Harry turned you around, grabbing your wrists to press them against the door. This was the normal for your random room hookups. Whenever there was a bed involved, you were always under him - your favorite way.

Harry didn’t waste any time. He spit on the ends of his fingers and rubbed your entrance, then put a little more spit on his tip. He eased into you, knowing you needed a few moments to adjust to him being down there. You moaned softly as he pressed further in, still keeping it slow and steady.

“Fuck.” He grunted out, the tightness closing on him as intense. “Tell me when, baby doll.”

You mumbled a reply back, but you were already so dizzy that you didn’t even comprehend it yourself - so you didn’t know if he heard you either. He didn’t say anything, just squeezed and rubbed his hands down your waist, to your hips, then back under your arms. He was always so patient with you. Besides, now that he’s inside of you feeling your warmth, he wasn’t as uncontrollably horny as before.

After a quiet minute of just simply being filled to the brim with his length, you gave him the approval to go. “Okay, m’good now.”

He shuddered as he pulled out of you and pushed back in. The feeling was intense for both of you, and it felt like forever since you had felt him close up the space inside of you, when in fact he was doing the same thing early this morning.

You were normally quiet while he was thrusting into you, especially when you weren’t in the comfort of his bedroom. He didn’t mind, since the circumstances at the moment weren’t the best. He just wanted you to feel good, and you definitely did. He continued at a steady pace, his hips moving his length in and out of you.

While you let out a moan and threw your head back onto his shoulder, his arm reached around you. He yanked down the lace of your bra cup, exposing a breast that he could knead and squeeze. You forgot to remove the garment, but it didn't matter anymore. Your panties were still on - which was extremely rare and only reserved for situations like this.

Harry continued on, squeezing, thrusting, mumbling - you felt blissful and like you were going to float away any second. Harry never disappointed you when it came to sex. He always, always made sure you were satisfied.

—

It was the last night that Harry would be gone and you wanted it to end as fast as possible. You had already arranged with him for you to come over as soon as he got home. David was told, of course, that you were going to spend time with your sister and take a trip upstate. He didn’t care what you did, as long as you were out of his hair. He had a big week coming up, and thankfully he would be gone the entire time and you could be with Harry. You unfortunately would have to come home Sunday morning just to see him off, and make sure he had all of his things packed. To be so independent and in charge, he always forgot to pack his necessities. You didn’t mind playing the role of the good wife for a few hours whenever necessary.

You were currently sitting on the white leather sofa in your living room. David was in the adjacent chair beside his brother who was over for a visit and dinner. The meal was good, you prepared most of it with the help of his brother on the grill to handle the meat. Other than that, the night was very boring and there was nothing extravagant going on. Each of them had a beer in their hand as they discussed the sport game they were watching on the television.

While they were preoccupied with that, you had your own things going on. You were texting up a storm with Harry, wishing you could just teleport to his location and glue yourself to his body, never having to be apart again. It felt weird knowing he wasn’t in the same city as you. It made your stomach churn.

From Harry: i have so many things planned for us next week xx you’re going to love it darling

To Harry: you’re the sweetest, pumpkin. I miss you so much

From Harry: i miss you more, my love. How is everything?

You glanced from the screen, nobody was paying you any mind per usual. You licked your lips and started to type again. Harry was aware of how things were at your home, so you knew he wouldn’t be surprised.

To Harry: his brother is here. It’s like i don’t even exist :)

From Harry: he’s such a fool.

From Harry: I’m ready to see you. I’m more ready for him to LEAVE though.

A soft giggle slipped past your lips and you quickly controlled yourself, not wanting to make anything obvious or draw any attention your way. You cleared your throat and pushed a strand of hair behind your ear.

To Harry: me too, trust me!!

To Harry: i just can’t wait to be with you for an entire week xxoo i love youuu

From Harry: i love you more princess xxx

From Harry: my flight should land, if all goes to plan, around three.

To Harry: okay. I’ll meet you at your place

From Harry: you can go there whenever you want, doll. You’ve got a key for a reason xx

To Harry: I’ll just wait.. I already told him when i would be leaving for Kayla’s.

Sometimes you wondered if David ever had any suspicions. Sure, people adore their sisters and loved spending time with them - but the amount of times you “go to stay with your sister” is way above average. You’ve always said your sister, maybe once or twice lied and said your mother’s instead. There was one thing about your sister, though, that you could always rely on - she’d lie for you.

Your mother, father, and sister were the only people aside from Harry’s mother and sister that knew about your relationship with Harry. Your sister was told first, since she was going to be the primary alibi. You were extremely nervous to tell your parents, especially your father, so you waited a few months before saying anything to them. They weren’t happy at first, but the more you explained how horrible your marriage was and how wonderful Harry was, they started to understand.

They haven’t ever met him, though. You didn’t want to cross that bridge just yet. You haven’t met his family either. It’s been strictly kept between you and him. The less outsiders the better.

David was either clueless or he simply didn’t give a damn. This has been going on for almost a year and nothing has been brought up. Not even a question about what you do with your sister. He just never asked anything. Part of you believed he knew something was off, but he just wasn’t sure. Maybe he thought going to your sisters was a way of getting away from him. You didn’t care at this point if he did find out.

That night went by extremely slowly. You hardly slept any. All you could think about was Harry. You knew his flight would be leaving early in the morning, and you hoped that everything went well here so you could be gone in time. You wanted to be with him more than ever now, but you told yourself you were just missing him because you knew he wasn’t just down the road. He was hours away from you and you weren’t really coping with that well.

Your night was just like your usual ones here at home. David had his back to you, way on the other side of the king sized bed, and you had your back to him. You didn’t get touched, didn’t even get a kiss goodnight. You never did, so it didn’t bother you at all anymore. Except for when Harry did it - that’s when you realized how horrible your marriage was. This man who has no real, legal commitment to you at all, someone who could just leave whenever he wanted and never speak to you again - someone you hadn’t vowed your life to.. loved you more than the man you married.

You were zipping up your duffle bag the moment that David walked into the bedroom. Usually you just took random changes of clothes with you since Harry has stocked his home with things for you. You just had to keep up with the lie - packing to go stay with your sister.

“You’re coming back Sunday to pack my bag.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a command. You gulped gently, trying not to let it bother you and ruin your mood. You looked over your shoulder, but he was in the closet now paying you any visual attention.

“I always pack your bag. You’d leave everything if I didn’t.”

He didn’t reply to you but you didn’t care. You put the strap of the bag over your shoulder and grabbed your purse off the bed. Without saying a word to him, you left the bedroom and headed for the stairs. He didn’t chase after you to kiss you goodbye or even ask if you were heading out. He didn’t care, and neither did you.

Once you were alone in your car, you pulled out your phone in hopes of calling Harry, but a text message stopped you from doing so. The message was sent about five minutes ago, so you knew it was still relevant. You huffed, annoyed by the sudden delay, but started up the car anyways. You have a key to his place, so you were going to go ahead and go.

From Harry: hey baby xx I’ve landed but there’s been a mix up at the airport with luggage. I’ve got horrible service, tried to call but i couldn’t get it go through. Head to my place. I love you bunches baby, can’t wait to see you xx

You typed up a quick response before leaving the driveway. This seemed to be the longest three days of your life since he’s been gone. During the day, he was hardly able to text you because he was stuck in very important meetings. In the evenings, he was tired and you’d FaceTime secretly while you were in the tub. He fell asleep on you almost every night. It was hard with him being away, and you were both glad he was home for a while.

During your drive, your mind got lost a few times. At one point you were thinking about your prenup. Part of you wanted to just admit to your husband that you were having an affair and that you wanted a divorce - but you knew damn well you couldn’t go through with what the prenup stated. There was no way you could pay him monthly - mainly because you didn’t have a job and wouldn’t even know where to start. You’re twenty four, you’ve been married for three years and your husband is rich. You’ve never had to work a day since you met him. Harry was wealthier, so there would be no point in you working if you were with him either. You had to find a way out of the marriage. You wished and prayed daily that your husband would have an affair so he could be the one paying you.

It wasn’t about the money. It’s never been about the money. But, if he were the one to break it, then it would be him paying monthly and not you. You couldn’t care less about his money. You wanted nothing to do with him, wanted to be far away and legally free. But marriage is a tricky thing, and you regret ever saying yes to his engagement. He loved you once, long ago, but it had definitely faded away since then.

When the door of Harry’s condo finally opened, you were dozing off in his bed dressed in only your sports bra and underwear. He noticed how quiet it was, but he saw signs that you were here. Your belongings were sitting on the couch and there was a half full glass of water sitting on the coffee table that he definitely didn’t leave behind.

He toed off his shoes by the door and sat his luggage down, not bothering with putting anything away right now. He gently opened the bedroom door in case you were asleep in there. A smile spread over his lips as he saw you, eyes closed and head against the pillow.

“Baby doll.” He mumbled as he climbed onto the bed, leaning down so his lips were against the corner of your mouth. “Baby, m’home, my love.”

You grunted, furrowing your brows as you heard his voice but you were too tired to open your eyes. It was only the afternoon, but you hardly slept last night. The comfort of his bed was far more relaxing than the one your husband sleeps in. There was something about his scent on the blankets and pillows that made you feel at ease.

“Sleepy girl.” He kissed your forehead softly. “I love you, darling. I’ll change and come take a nap with you.”

You muttered to him, but it wasn’t anything sensible. Harry quickly changed and climbed back into the bed with you, this time slipping under the covers and wrapping both arms around you.

“Harry.” You finally realized he was really there.

“My girl.” He kissed your temple. “I’ve missed you.”

You hummed against his warm chest, feeling like you were finally home. “Don’t leave me ever again.”

He chuckled gently. “Did you miss me, hm?”

“Lots.” You nodded, the whisper was soft and airy.

You were trying to fight your sleepiness because you wanted to spend every moment with him that you could for the next couple of days. Despite only having to go home for a short time on Sunday, you knew it would still be a long time without him. These days, you crave to get as much of him as you can.

“Yeah? I can imagine, baby.” He started to rub his hand up and down your back. “Why are you so sleepy this time of day, hm? Did you not sleep well last night?”

A groan came from you, making him more concerned. He kept his lips pressed against your hairline, just waiting for you to reply to him. The question had irritated you only because you were forced to think about David - and right now, you didn’t want to even remember that he existed.

“I never sleep good without you.. and I was out of melatonin.”

Harry sighed. “I’m sorry, lovey. It just keeps getting worse, doesn’t it? I’ve.. noticed.”

You nodded again. “A lot worse.. each time I go back.”

“God, I wish I could just pack you up and run away.”

You tucked both of your arms against his chest, trying to stay warm. “You can.. I can just disappear with you.”

He smiled gently. “If we just.. disappeared.. we couldn’t ever get married. You still want that, don’t you?”

“Yes. More than anything.. but.. we have to wait forever. He.. he’ll never.. cheat on me. And you know I can’t.. can’t financially handle the prenup.” Your eyes are wide open now.

You didn’t mind discussing this with Harry, but it always came down to the same thing every time. David had to be the one to cheat on you and there wasn’t anything you could do to make that happen.

“I’ve told you, baby, I can handle it. If that’s what it takes, then I’ll just transfer money to you and make it seem like-“

You didn’t even allow him to finish that. “I’ve told you no, Harry. I don’t want him getting your money.”

He released a deep breath. “If it meant I could finally have you.. then i wouldn’t give a shit, honey. He’d be out of our lives and we could be together.”

An unsettling feeling was bubbling in your stomach. “Please, don’t argue with me about this right now. I.. I’ve already told you I don't want him to get anything from you!”

“At this point you don’t want me to get you at all.” Harry’s voice got slightly louder, but his hands never moved from rubbing your back and your hip.

“It’s not that fuckin’ easy.”

“You’re making it difficult. It can be so, so easy, baby.”

You felt your nerves starting to shake. “Please, stop.”

“Babe, m’just trying to.. to explain how-“

You shoved him away from you, falling onto your back. His arms retracted from your body, knowing that you didn’t want to be touched right now. Your hands covered your face and you held back a scream. It wasn’t tears you were fighting, it was anger.

“I’m sorry, honey.” Harry sat up beside you, but he didn’t make any moves towards you. He lifted his knees and rested his arms on them. “I.. I just want to be with you. I.. I’ll do whatever it takes to have you all to myself.”

Your hands fell, but you didn’t open your eyes. “I know that, Harry. But.. you know the conditions I have. I don’t want you giving him any money in any way. Alimony is.. is not yours to pay. You didn’t make this commitment, I did.”

He stayed silent for his own sake, so he wouldn’t make the situation any worse. You opened your eyes just to glue them to the ceiling. Every time this conversation came up you got very annoyed and it always resulted in a fight. You hated fighting with him.

“Okay.”

Your heart ached as his reply was barely audible. Harry had a lot of control when it came to his agitations and anger, so you never worried about him getting too upset with you. But, in the moment, you could tell he wasn’t happy with what you were saying. You sat up beside him, pushing the covers off of your body. He didn’t move as you leaned against his body, your arm snaking around his lower back.

Your hand curled around his elbow as the other rested on his waist. “Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“You won’t like it.” He shook his head gently.

“We have to talk about these things.. so we don’t stay mad all day.” You reminded him of something he once said to you.

You watched his tongue dart out to coat his lips, then he furrowed his brows while his eyelids fell shut. He was definitely affected by some thought he was having, and you hated knowing he was upset. It made your stomach churn, because you felt like you had disappointed him in some way - and like you haven’t done enough to comfort him.

“Baby, please. I.. I won’t be mad.” You whispered softly against his bicep, your lips pecking his skin a moment after.

“I.. I feel like we could have.. avoided all this time.. all this time we’ve wasted.”

For a second, you were confused by what he meant. Before you let yourself overthink it, you simply asked. “What.. what time?”

His eyes opened, but they stared down at the cover. “It’s been eleven months.. and.. I just feel like.. we’ve been wasting all this time.. when we could just.. or, you, could just.. file for divorce and let me.. financially handle everything.”

He paused. You didn’t want to interrupt him, so you just waited. His voice was low and he was almost mumbling - which told you enough. He was really upset by this and he was being honest with you.

“I understand that.. you feel responsible for.. for the prenup but.. I’m wondering if.. if it’s even worth it to stay with him at this point. Like.. am I not.. showing enough that.. that i want to spend the rest of my life with you?”

“Harry-“

“I have plenty of money. Money I’ll never use up.. and you won’t let me.. do this. You won't let me do this for us.. for you.” He continued, not wanting you to cut him off at this point. “It’s nothing to do with your family. You’ve said they approve. There’s no children involved.. nothing complicated. Just.. just the alimony. And I could easily handle it.”

When he finally came to a stopping point, you licked your lips and swallowed a lump that had formed in your throat. You slid your hand down to his wrist, then slowly onto his hand to touch his fingers. He had a few rings on, and they were oddly warm against your skin.

“This is.. the hardest thing I’ve ever had to think about. Don’t.. don’t think that i haven’t considered that before.”

He shrugged. “Do.. do you still.. love him? Is that what it is?”

“What? No.”

“Because I can’t think of anything else. If you love him.. you wouldn’t want to leave him.. and you wouldn’t want me to do anything to assist you in leaving him.”

The heartbreak was evident in his tone, and you could tell by the broken sounds that he was holding back tears. Harry rarely cried in front of you, but you still knew the signs. You slotted your fingers with his and gave him a hard squeeze, but he did not return the gesture like he always did. You felt hopeless.

“I do not love him. I.. I loved him a long time ago.. but he’s shown and proved to me that he doesn’t care about me. I don’t love him anymore. I don’t even like him. Please, please don’t.. don’t ever ask me that again.” You felt a few tears trickle down your cheeks. “I only love you. You’re the only person I want, Harry. And it.. it really hurts me to know that.. that you doubt that.”

“I only fucking doubt it because you won’t file for divorce!” He yelled at you for the first time during the argument. “And that hurts me, baby! That hurts me a fuckin’ lot.”

As you witnessed his face flushing and his skin getting extremely warm, you choked down the angry words you were going to yell back. You were sad because he raised his voice at you, but you quickly realized he hadn’t done anything wrong. He was completely reasonable and upset, and that made you cry a little more. When you didn’t say anything, he decided to.

“Maybe.. maybe you should go stay with your sister for a few days.”

You whined as he tried to move away from you. “No, Harry, please.”

He was releasing tears at this point and he didn’t want you to see him break down, so he was trying his best to escape. You sunk your nails into his hand, trying to anchor him down but he was trying to shake you off.

“Don’t.. don’t make me leave.” You begged in a broken whisper. “We’re just.. just both tired right now and we’re irritated.. please.”

He didn’t say anything as he finally got you off him. He grabbed his phone off the nightstand and walked to the door.

“Do.. do i really have to go?” You sounded like a disappointed child.

When he stopped in the doorway, you were praying that he’d turn around and run back to you. But he didn’t even glance over his shoulder. He grabbed the doorframe, his arm raised above his head. He stayed silent for a long moment. Your heart was racing, afraid of what he would say to you. If Harry didn’t want you around, then you were truly useless.

“No. Of course not.” He finally sighed, shaking his head just a little. “Just.. give me some space for a while.”

He left the spot before you could say anything. You felt absolutely defeated. It would be your luck that this would happen. He was just trying to express his feelings to you and you weren’t able to give him any good explanations that he hadn’t already heard. You knew there were things you hadn’t told him, things you were holding off on and.. things you never wanted to tell him.

The longer you sat in the bedroom alone, the more you thought about those things. You loved him more than anything, and he deserved to know everything.

You had been sitting in the bathtub so long that your skin was wrinkling up. You had only planned to take a shower, but after you washed your hair you got extremely tired of standing and just wanted to relax in some hot water. You weren’t sure of the time or how long you had been in here, but you knew one thing - Harry hadn’t checked up on you like he normally would. Part of you was hurt by it, but the rest of you understood.

Finally, you decided to get out of the bath. Your hair was halfway dry by now, so you had been sitting for a while. You wrapped the towel around your body and flicked off the light. You didn’t expect the bedroom to be occupied, but it was. Harry was laying on his back under the covers, one arm under his head and the other hand holding his phone. He glanced at you when you shut the bathroom door, but you didn’t catch it.

Quietly, hoping not to disturb him, you walked over to the big dresser and pulled out the middle drawer where your underwear and pajamas were. You grabbed a pair and opted for a loose tank top. For a second, you held your breath and squeezed your eyes shut. Did he want you to get dressed in here? Did he even want to see you? You weren’t sure, so you just picked your phone up off the end of the bed where you had left it before your bath and disappeared into the bathroom.

You couldn’t look at yourself in the mirror, only because you were so upset about what happened earlier today. It was one of the most upsetting arguments you had had with him. He’s never requested you to stay away from him before, never spent hours by himself when you were in the home with him. It was strange and unusual and you prayed it would never happen again.

Once you were dressed, you brushed your hair and twisted it into a braid to keep it out of your face while you slept. You took a deep breath as you turned the knob and opened the door yet again. This time, you saw his eyes as they landed on you. He didn’t look away like before, he followed you as you walked to the bedroom door. You didn’t say a word as you left and made the journey out to the living room. You were very sleepy and ready for bed, but you didn’t want to lay down with him still awake. You wanted to avoid any confrontation and you were afraid he would say something and start the argument all over again.

You got settled on the couch and threw the thin blanket over your body, it always laid on the back of the couch. You had the remote, ready to find something to distract you from what was actually going on. Five or so minutes had passed once you found a movie that was on. You were partially paying attention, but mostly zoning out not thinking about anything. You wanted to vanish, wanted to just forget this afternoon all together.

The vibration of your phone beside you on the cushion made you jump. You forgot you even had it. When you grabbed it, it went off again. You gulped harshly as you saw what it was. You felt an extreme nervousness take over your body.

From Harry: are you coming to bed?

From Harry: you don’t have to if you’re not tired.

Your stomach was churning at the thought of being with him right now. Of course you wanted to, but the guilt you were feeling was eating you up inside. You bit down on your cheek as you typed something back to him.

To Harry: I’m not tired. Watching a movie.

There was one thing in particular that you wanted to tell him, but you were refraining from doing so in case it rubbed him the wrong way. It was one of the most major things that had ever happened to you, in your life and in your marriage. You wanted him to know, but you were so afraid of ruining what you had with him. At this point though, weren’t you just making things worse by not telling him?

From Harry: you can put the movie on in here..

It was easy to tell that he wanted you to come back there, but you knew it wasn’t a good time. You needed to just let this night sizzle out on its own, and if that meant being in here for a while until he was asleep.. then that’s what you would do.

To Harry: I’m already comfy in here. :/

His replies were getting quicker, and you felt a bit of nausea.

From Harry: okay. I’m going to sleep. I love you.

From Harry: come to bed whenever you’re ready.

You sucked in a breath, holding your eyes shut for a very long moment. You wanted to get up and run back there to him, curl up beside him and let him hold you while you slept. But you didn’t move.

To Harry: okay. I love you too.

An hour had gone by and the movie had finally gone off. You weren’t even sure how you stayed awake this long. Maybe it was the constant worry keeping your brain active? You stood up from the couch and stretched your limbs. It was time for bed, whether he was awake or not. You didn’t care at this point. You were exhausted and you wanted to sleep.

The bedroom was quiet when you walked in. The lights were off, but the curtains were drawn back. The combination of the lights from the city and the moon high in the sky lit up the room with a white glow. You saw Harry laying on his side, facing the open side of the bed where you’d be sleeping.

His eyes were closed and he appeared to be asleep. He was making little grunting sounds, so you knew he was. You got under the covers and shuddered as you felt his warmth that had been trapped under there. You scooted closer to him, turning onto your side so you could feel his heat.

He never moved or even twitched as you got comfortable about six inches away from him. Your face was level with his, and you were admiring his relaxed features. His cheeks were red, but you couldn’t quite tell if it was anything to be worried about in this lighting. Maybe he was just warm? He did cry a lot by himself earlier, perhaps his cheeks are still recovering?

You couldn’t resist staring at him. It was silent in the room, only his little grunting sounds filled the space between you two. You reached under the covers and searched for his hand. It was resting on his hip. You picked it up so you could move it onto your waist. You made sure it was against your skin and the shirt you were wearing was pushed up. The heat from his palm immediately soothed you.

He must have instinctively noticed you were beside him, because his arm came from under his pillow and pushed its way under your neck. His hand fell down to the small of your back and he drug you closer. You whimpered as you were finally against him the way you wanted to be hours ago.

You didn’t want to disturb him, but you couldn’t hold back anymore. You had spent entirely too long not speaking or interacting with him today and you were sick of it. You sat your hand on his bare chest, pushing slightly against him as you mumbled his name. He didn’t stir. You started to shake him, speaking a bit louder.

“Harry, wake up.”

He grunted, but still didn’t wake up. You sighed and slid your hand up to his neck, then to his jaw. You rubbed your thumb over his stubbly skin and tried again.

“Harry, please wake up, baby. I need to tell you something.” Your voice was at a normal volume now.

He furrowed his brows and groaned. He was starting to wake up but you could tell he was trying his best to fight it and stay asleep.

“Please, bubby, wake up.” You tilted your head back slightly so could you press your lips against his.

He hummed, his hand gripping one side of your ass as he felt your body in his arms. You pecked his lips again, trying your best to wake him up gently.

“Hey, wake up, baby. I need to tell you something.”

Your efforts were finally paying off. He squeezed his eyes tight, trying to stay asleep but he was already aware. You smiled faintly as you watched him snarl his lip up and grunt again.

“What, baby?” He muttered out, his voice thick and groggy.

“Wake up.. i need to tell you something.” You said again, kissing his chin a few times.

“M’up.”

You laughed softly. “Wake all the way up, Harry.”

“M’up.” He repeated, his lips parted as he started to take deep breaths again.

“Please, baby. It’s important.”

Suddenly, his eyes opened and he got worried. He had heard you but he wasn’t able to actually understand what you were saying. So, he thought something was wrong.

“What’s wrong, baby? Are you okay?” He leaned over you, his hand squeezing your waist and the other moved up to touch your face. “Are you hurting?”

You let out a gentle giggle, and sat your hand over his wrist to keep it against your face. “I’m not hurting. I’m okay.”

“Yeah? You’re okay?” He was unsure if you were being honest.

“I promise.” You gently kissed his lips.

“What.. why’d you.. wake me up?” He furrowed his brows again, relaxing himself now. He laid back on his side, and returned his arms to how they were moments ago.

“I wanted to tell you something.. well.. a few things.” You let out a heavy sigh as you got settled beside him, your face just inches from his.

“Alright.” He nodded. “Must be.. important since.. you woke me up, yeah?”

For a second, just a split second - you thought about ditching your plan and just forgetting everything you were going to say. But you knew that would make you feel even more guilty. Plus, you had already woken him up and he was probably not going to like it if you told him never mind..

With all the strength left in your heart, you took a deep breath. “First, I’m sorry that I made you mad earlier.”

“That’s okay, baby.” He mumbled, his fingers messing with the thin waistband of your panties. He wanted to knead your hip, but he wasn’t sure if you’d like that right now.

“It’s not okay. I.. I shouldn’t have.. let you walk away..” You frowned at the memory. “I should’ve told you.. all of this then.”

Harry looked at you for a moment, then licked his lips. “It’s okay, I promise. We both got mad.. it happens.”

You didn’t want to go back and forth on why you were in the wrong and why he shouldn’t let you off so easily. That would result in even more fighting and you just weren’t in the mood for that.

“Second.. there’s something I need to tell you.. and just.. listen, okay?”

“Wait.” He suddenly said. “I want you to know something first.”

You nodded, giving him permission to go ahead and speak. He looked sad for a moment as his eyes trailed away from yours. He sat there for a few seconds, then finally moved his gaze back to your eyes.

“I shouldn’t have said what I said. I.. I’m sorry. I know you.. you love me and i haven’t.. doubted that, ever.” He pressed the pads of his fingers down into your skin. “I just get frustrated because.. he doesn’t deserve you. And every day you’re still married to him is another day that.. that I’m not married to you.”

Marrying Harry was something you had dreamed about. It was also something you had talked about. You both wanted to get married as soon as possible. It was the first thing you planned on doing once your divorce was finalized. You wanted to be his wife more than anything, wanted to be devoted to him and only him. He wanted you to be his, no more sharing you with someone or watching you leave to go to some other man’s home. He wanted you, and you wanted him.

“I’m not mad at you for telling me what was bothering you.” You assured him with a soft kiss to his chin. “I need you to start talking to me more about things like that, don’t hold back. It makes you.. makes you blow up and I’d rather just talk when something’s on your mind than to wait til we fight.”

“I agree.” Harry smiled faintly. “I promise I’ll do better and.. and tell you things.”

“Okay.. um, this is.. something important, okay? And.. I don't want you to.. to think I’m.. trying to.. compromise with you.”

“Hey, whatever it is.. I’ll listen and I’m sure I’ll understand.” He shifted his hand up to your waist, just so he could feel one of the softest, squishiest parts of your body.

You felt a wave of nervousness ripple through your body, but let it pass and didn’t let it consume you. Harry waited patiently, watching your face as you took a few deep breaths. Your eyes opened and met his instantly. It was a hard topic for you to even think about on your own, so you knew this was going to be hard. But there was no other option, you had to do this. Harry deserved to know everything about you, every worry, every struggle, everything.

“I.. I was so in love with David when we first.. first started going out. I.. He promised me.. that all of the dreams i had of.. of big houses and fancy vacations and diamonds and.. everything.. would come true. And, when i married him.. we decided that.. we wanted to wait a few months before.. trying to have a baby.”

Harry was having thoughts about where this story would go, but he didn’t want to say anything or overthink it. He just laid there silently and listened to you, while he rubbed his hand slowly up and down your waist, providing you with warmth and comfort.

“It was probably.. six months after we got married, I.. I found out I was pregnant. But.. four months in.. I had a miscarriage.” You paused as a quick flashback of memories flashed through your mind. “David.. promised me that everything was going to be okay. I.. I was worried that he was mad.. or.. that he wouldn’t want to try again. So, we just took some time off from.. trying.”

There wasn’t a lot Harry didn’t know about, but this was surely one of them. He never even knew David wanted children. He also didn’t know that you wanted to have children.

“After six months we started again. And.. three months later I found out I was pregnant, again. We were both excited. We thought for sure.. for sure this would be a healthy pregnancy. I never.. did anything wrong or.. anything. I was healthy.. so.. the baby should’ve been.”

When you stopped to take a breath and calm your nerves down, Harry leaned forward and pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth. Your hand went down from his chest to his abdomen, just feeling his skin was enough to relax you. He leaned back and let you continue.

“I lost the second baby. When I told David.. he.. proceeded to tell me that.. It was for the best because.. how could i ever be a good mother if I couldn’t even carry a baby? It was a sign.. that I was.. worthless. Women are supposed to give their husbands babies.. that’s what he said. But.. I was useless.”

The feelings that erupted in your heart as you repeated the exact words he yelled at you that night made were intense and bone rattling. You felt a sudden sadness come over you.

“That’s when he started to.. ignore me and.. treat me like I was.. a stranger. He didn’t want to try anymore. He.. he said I was.. messed up and he shouldn’t have.. married a woman who.. couldn’t even carry.. a baby..”

“Hey, don’t cry.” Harry finally spoke as he saw your eyes watering over. He understood why you were getting upset, but he didn’t want to see you cry.

“All I’ve ever wanted was a family. I.. I’m not upset about.. the miscarriages, I’m okay now.. not sad anymore.. I.. I just.. still can’t believe he.. he didn’t care enough to try again.. it could have worked the third time. It could have. I.. I know I’ll have babies.. it’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“I’m sorry that all of this happened.” He whispered, not entirely sure if he should keep talking or not.

“Harry.. m’telling you this because.. i want to know if.. if you want.. children.”

He sighed, and for a moment you expected the absolute worst. “I didn’t for a long time.. and then I met you. And I fell in love with you. I knew that I wouldn’t want to bring children into the world if I couldn’t love their mother. I never loved anyone I was with before you.” He rolled his lips in for a moment as he stared at you. “But I love you more than anything. And I want to give you everything.. and that includes children. If you want to have children, then I will be perfectly okay with doing that with you.”

“It’s what I want the most in life.” You said truthfully, the tears gently slipping down your cheeks. They were no longer sad tears, but tears of hope. “I don’t want to have his children. I stopped wanting that when he.. said those things to me. But you?”

Both of your shaking hands reached up to his face and you held his warm cheeks in your palms. You moved in closer to him, your nose rubbing against his. He curled his arm around your back, pushing you as close as he could to his own body.

“I love you. I would do anything.. anything at all to have a baby with you.” You whispered the words softly against his mouth.

He smiled, squeezing his eyes shut. “We can start whenever you are ready.”

“If you.. promise me we will have a family.. whatever way we might.. have to try.. I’ll let you call that lawyer.. and pay the alimony.. and do whatever else we have to to get my divorce.”

Harry kissed you, his tongue slipping into your mouth. You let him roam around for a minute, the feelings making your heart want to explode. It had been forever since you kissed him like this. He hummed in your mouth as he went to pull away. His now swollen lips were still against yours as he began to talk.

“I swear on my life. I don’t care how long we have to try.. whatever procedures.. or adoptions.. surrogates, anything and everything, baby. I want this with you and you only. I’ll give you what you want, what he couldn’t. And I’ll never, ever stop giving you everything you want.”

“I love you.” You whispered carefully against his lips.

“I love you, more.”

a/n: I decided to make part 2 super long to make up for my.. absence 😭 anyways, hope u enjoy! more to come 🩷 this is a limited/short series, so a lot will be going on within each part.

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