How's everyone doing after today's session? [I am not well /j]

More doodles for the one piece spy x family crossover

the single best thing the show could do for the polycule is a very simple change: make it happen on purpose. make all four members work together from the beginning to set up a poly relationship intentionally, rather than stumbling into one due to a mix of miscommunication and Fate Said So.

in the books, rand thinks he's having a series of unconnected romantic encounters with three different women and has no idea a polycule is developing until the women come to him to propose the final product. it is documented that the reason rj wrote it this way is because it's inspired by a similar situation he was once in, so i can't exactly blame him for writing based off personal experience, but it does cause several problems in the story.

Problems:

a) rand has little to no input on his own relationship(s) and spends the whole series being extremely passive in his love life. this makes him come across as at best a victim to the whims of his partners who is not allowed to express what HE wants out of the relationship, and at worst an asshole who doesn't really care about any of them as people and doesn't care what arrangements the three of them work out so long as he gets to fuck SOMEONE. it also means that the romances don't have as much of an emotional impact on him/his character development as they should (and as they do on the women) because he's just kinda floating along going "oh whatever you guys want, makes no difference to me."

b) elayne and aviendha get a bad fandom rap as being bad partners to rand because they confuse him on purpose and play games with him. like most of elayne's (in particular) bad fandom raps, this is an unfair exaggeration, but it's rooted in the fact that rj wanted rand to wind up in a polycule by accident rather than helping arrange a polycule on purpose, which means that rand has to hook up with 3 different women in a row without realizing that a polycule is brewing, without having discussed the idea of additional partner(s) with his prior partner(s) and gotten their permission to hook up with other people, AND without coming across as a cheater. which means that rand has to believe himself sufficiently broken up with the prior woman before he can hook up with the next one, which means that elayne has to send him conflicting letters so that he can get away with hooking up with aviendha and aviendha has to freeze him out so that he can get away with hooking up with min.

("they're just greedy/indecisive/cheaters" is probably the biggest harmful stereotype against poly people, and the above approach from the books flirts with that far too much, so the show definitely needs to change that. the majority of people have a very very difficult time understanding polyamory (just look at tumblr, where even the ~wokest~ WOT fans are saying the polycule should be split up into 2 monogamous pairings bc they think the poly aspect is "weird" and they insist that elayne Actually loves aviendha the most or rand Actually loves min the most and that they can't possibly REALLY mean it when they say they love multiple people equally), which is why it's especially important that the show portray it in a way where it's abundantly clear that it's not cheating or rand being greedy/indecisive/stringing a bunch of women along.)

c) the problem for the other 3's approach to the polycule is miscommunication. the problem for min's is Fate Said So. she is rammed into the polycule by prophecy rather than by spending enough time with the other parties to come to want it on her own, and so she coasts along on "you have to let me join your relationship because it's fated to happen no matter what" rather than needing to put in the same work elayne and aviendha do of bonding with each other, making an effort to learn about aiel polyamory practices (in elayne's case), and growing to genuinely want to share their partner with each other and to genuinely enjoy seeing the other happy with him.

the result is min feeling out of place in the relationship: elayne constantly thinks about how she loves rand and aviendha equally, then sometimes hastily adds min as an afterthought; aviendha is very firm that she can't share rand with elayne until they're first-sisters, but shrugs and makes an exception for min for no reason (but then proceeds to think how she wishes she didn't have to share her partner with a near-stranger); min barely cares about the other two and frequently thinks how she wishes she could just have rand to herself and it's unfair that she has to share him. it's a very glaring contrast how elayne and aviendha come to feel genuine joy and compersion at rand's love for the other, while the most positive thought min ever has is "if i HAVE to share (which i'd rather not), then elayne isn't the worst option for a co-partner."

on this last point, monogamous people forcing themselves to try out polyamory for their poly partner's sake (which is absolutely how book!min comes across) is something that happens and gets people hurt irl, and contributes to the societal misconception that polyamory never works out long term and that a choice will inevitably have to be made (again, see tumblr deciding that the endgame will have to be elayne & aviendha happily monogamous in caemlyn and reddit that it will have to be rand & min happily monogamous traveling the world). so if the show is going to portray polyamory, imo it has a responsibility to show that it is a viable long-term relationship type that people can be genuinely happy in. thus, all 4 parties need to choose this type of relationship because they want it, not because fate said they had to, and especially min since she's the one who is the most explicitly in the "only doing this bc fate" camp in the books (whereas rand, elayne, and aviendha all come across as genuinely polyamorous people who likely would have settled on this arrangement even without prophecy foreknowledge).

Solutions:

i made a post recently-ish with a hypothetical timeline for 8 seasons of the show, so if i make any unexplained assumptions in this section about what seasons various characters will be spending time together during, that's where they came from.

i feel pretty confident that rand/aviendha will be the first romance we see in the show, since he's still getting over his much-more-serious-than-the-book-version relationship with egwene and it would make sense to give him season 2 to finish that up and to hold off on new romance for him until season 3. i'm predicting he and aviendha will also meet elayne at falme in 2x08, but i also expect the characters will set off on their TSR roadtrips by the end of 3x01 at the latest, which gives rand and elayne no more than 1-2 episodes together - enough to establish Crush Vibes, but not enough to actually have anything happen between them. so, the show will go out of order and start with rand/aviendha.

which is a perfect way of changing the polycule from accidental to intentional! having rand's first romance be with the partner who is from a poly-aware culture means that the entire set of relationships is now being built off a poly-aware base. from the get-go, aviendha can explain the concept of polyamory to rand and make it clear to him that she is comfortable with that sort of relationship, which means that they can get together and stay together rather than needing to backslide so that rand has an excuse to go off and fuck other people. he doesn't need excuses if he instead has permission! also, rand/elayne not having happened yet would mean aviendha has no reason to feel guilty and pull away from rand after sleeping with him.

so, rand and aviendha are solidly together and poly-curious by the time they reunite with elayne in s4. aviendha can see that rand and elayne like each other, so she encourages them to get together, and rand/elayne can indeed get together without rand/aviendha needing to be tanked first since rand and aviendha are both on the same pro-poly page. elayne knows a little about polyamory from meeting bain and chiad at falme (and maybe from meeting alanna or other greens at the tower), and she has feelings for rand but also likes aviendha and doesn't want to interfere with their relationship, so she is happy to agree to the arrangement. but she still has plenty to learn about aiel ways and about aviendha, and aviendha wants to become first-sisters as is proper, so even without aviendha having toh to elayne for banging rand, the two of them still have a reason to want to bond and grow closer (and for the show, this arc will result in them falling in love instead of or in addition to becoming first-sisters).

so we've fixed the narrative relying on miscommunication to get rand, elayne, and aviendha into the polycule. now to fix the reliance on Fate Said So for min. we can safely say that she's already had her 3-women viewing judging by that line in s1, so she already knows the polycule is fated. this in itself is fine - wrestling with knowing you're fated to love someone is an interesting character arc if done well and done sparingly [sideeyes rj on both counts]. what needs to be changed is how min USES this foreknowledge.

don't have her share it with elayne, aviendha, or rand until after the four of them have gotten together naturally. have her discuss the viewing with her aunts in s2 (or, hell, even with mat, could be a good way to contribute to the friendship they're supposed to have at the end of the series) instead of with elayne, and have her say she knows who 2/3 of the other people are but would never want to tell them about this viewing because it sucks to know you're fated to love someone before it's happened and she'd hate to burden anyone else with that knowledge. have her keep the viewing to herself because she wants rand and elayne (and aviendha, tho min doesn't yet know who she is) to have the freedom to fall in love by choice, even though she herself can't have that freedom. (shit, now that i write it out i actually LOVE the idea of mat being the one she's having this convo with since he too will soon be struggling with a Fated Romance.)

in the books, by telling elayne soon after meeting her that she'll have to share her boyfriend with 2 others and then in salidar going "one of them is me btw so you'd better give me permission to fuck your boyfriend when i see him soon," it feels like min is using her viewing to bully elayne (and later aviendha) into letting her join the relationship. min telling rand in eotw that he shouldn't bother with egwene because they won't end up together also contributes to this vibe, and the show has thankfully already cut out that moment, so i have high hopes that they're attempting to make min more..........empathetic, i guess, in terms of how she uses her viewings. book!min is understandably afraid of being left out in the cold since she doesn't know which if any of them rand will love back, so she uses her viewings to prime the other parties to be willing to Let Her In when the time comes, basically, but it's still kind of a shitty thing to do. however, so far, due to being older and much more mature and much more reluctant to share viewings, show!min gives me the vibes that she would rather quietly resign herself to unrequited love than have to burden other people with the knowledge that their love is Foretold (particularly once she comes to view elayne as a friend in s2).

so, if min doesn't share the viewing with elayne and aviendha in advance, then she will have to join the relationship naturally, by spending time with and getting to know all 3 parties, rather than by telling them they have to let her in because Fate Said So. i see space for all 4 of them to be in the same place together during season 4, while avirandlayne is brewing but min is still just a friend, so that would be a great time for min to bond with them all prior to getting with rand (and maybe as a result, rand develops a crush on her and confesses it to elayne and aviendha, who are happy to give him permission because they already know and like min; alternately, rand has an obvious crush on min but is totally oblivious about it, so elayne and aviendha tease him like "if there is...............anyone else you're interested in.............maybe a certain bartender............you can totally go for it" and rand is adorably baffled as to why they believe he has a crush on min, and then in season 5 he finally Realizes).

and like, wouldn't it be so cute if after the four of them are in a committed polycule, min finally says "hey, i actually had a viewing ages ago that this would happen, but i didn't want to tell you guys and make you feel pressured to love each other" and they all have a good laugh about it together? that would be SO cute!

so, overall, the seeds of a wonderful polycule are there in the books, and the show doesn't have to make a TON of tweaks to help it live up to its best potential! i'm really excited to see what they do with it because it's such a unique romance storyline and one of my favorite aspects of the series, it just needs the Updating For 2020s touch (and the Updating To Reflect The Way Real Human Adults Behave And Communicate With Each Other touch) that the show has so far excelled at applying.

i don’t know. how can you tell an individual online that they’re a tar pit for being afraid to interact with others especially when they respond to your posts about being kind to your others? at that point - that’s the criticism of the individuals personality instead of a serious discussion about what is happening within the culture. it’s the same way that people put the global warming onus on the individual level. a refusal to see what societal economic factors are at play right now. yes active kindness and reaching out - yes! but if you refuse to understand why someone, why the culture might be afraid to take that step, I don’t think you are being so kind. your kindness functions as a tool to feel superior, and that’s fine. but now you have made “being good” a competition, and all of the paranoid avoidant people get alienated further. how can you talk about being there for each other as a collective society in such an individualistic way while criticizing “individualism”, lol?

Dadzui make over!!!

First of all in the new fallen hero revelations demo, I absolutely love armadillo (I have said that I was looking forward to sidestep meeting other non-cuckoo regenes and this meeting already lived up to a lot of my expectations) (really excited to see how this plays out)

Second of all I think that little aside of how there are no gendered pronouns in the re-gene language and how only cuckoos learned to apply them is really interesting and funny (as well as another point in the murderbot-breq-sidestep compare and contrast schema in my head). Since it further emphasizes the connection between being seen as a person and performing gender correctly, but also it is a funny difference between the normal regenes and the cuckoo.

Like I think that it explains some of the complexes surrounding gender sidestep has. What if when training you were the only one getting comments like that really that kick wasn’t very ladylike or you need to start punching like a man. All the other regenes barely know what gender is and sidestep has to pass the weekly ‘Men and Women: What are They? And How To Behave and Interact Like One’ exam.

is there any DPS discord channels??? I’m trying to make friends 🥲

Here's a reminder because I've seen discourse regarding queer identities a lot lately, both here and in other apps.

I don't fuck with 3xcluz1onists (e, s, i) nor tr4nzm4dicalists (a, s, e). If you are that please block me. I do not tolerate them as I see it as a way to harass and infight other queer invididuals without getting called out; I've seen a LOT of them harassing, sending d3ath threaths, even DOXXING, which is something I do not accept no matter what.

Yeah, I may not get some labels, but I don't do that! You shouldn't too , you shouldn't go in your way and call people invalid or telling them to d1e what the fuck?

Focus your anger and confusion at the right places, at the amount of conservatives threatening the lives of many trans kids, at how some countries are now calling lgbtq+ rights a "terrorist group". Someone being demi or a masc/fem nonbinary isn't worse than that. If you think it is then there's something up with you

Objectober Day 4: Maple

Identity talks with your friend, the corpse :)

(please click for better quality!! rbs > likes!!)

You know that point in an X Files rewatch where the cancer arc is over and your filled with warm fuzzies but then remember it’s not too much longer till Diana Fowley shows up?

Gus and Hunter’s friendship is dear to me for many reasons but it does not hurt that I figured out I was transmasc in my own teen years and was friends with a lot of equally geeky guys in middle/high school, so it’s very easy for me to think about all the dumb stuff we got up to at their ages and go ah. They are going to be so stupid together.

Guys. Why did we spend all that time trying to decide who are the book/show exclusive character's counterparts?

I want to see a staff meeting between Garrison, McCracken, Jeffers, Crawlings, and Show Curtain

((god dammit ig more of the Van der Linde allusion is happening

We shoot people that needs shooting We help people that needs helping We feed people that needs feeding

If you are lost and alone in the woods, and you need help, the Branwens will rescue you. Weiss' kidnapping was the exception to this, not the rule, because when you have the ability to ransom a Schnee, it would be irresponsible not to take it (also, there's absolutely no way that Raven didn't recognize her daughter's teammate. Bird mom has been watching them for a while).

After all, there is safety in numbers. Those acts of kindness keep the people of the area from calling the law as often. They also have the potential to refresh the ranks of the Branwens by accepting people with nowhere else to go.

The Branwens do not have the resources or manpower to hold captives. Their greatest asset in keeping people from running off and ratting on them is the remoteness of their settlements and the Grimm that exist outside their walls. And if someone does manage to reach authorities, the Branwens will have broken camp and moved on already.

my dream is to be best friends with someone whose favorite character is the brother of MY favorite character

Hardy har har, have this roblox royale high OC of mine who is a mansplain, manipulate, manwhore.

This is what he actl looks like:

the depp/heard trial and the way people so easily fell for a misogynistic smear campaign, reminded of me of my primal issue with twitter nd the reason why i decided to stay away from it before the presidential elections of my country, is that people are really fucking stupid there.