#crawlings
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"Again as if in a dance, the Recruiters adopted different poses. Some spread their arms as if welcoming an embrace. Others reached out as if to shake hands in greeting. And still others raised their hands, palms forward, in a calming gesture that Reynie recognized too well. All of them were smiling, smiling."
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Round 2E
#polls#john gaius#crawlings#liza lotts#the locked tomb#the mysterious benedict society#scott the woz
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I’m sorry the temptation was too great to resist:
Show Curtain, Book Curtain, Crawlings, Jeepers, Marlon, McCracken
Good luck. 🫡
Hello, Anon. What delightful choices you've sent me. I will answer them all with great enthusiasm and minimal emotional distress.
Push off a cliff: McCracken. not because he deserves it the most - if anything, he deserves to be set on fire. But because I think it's delicious irony that his nemesis is always the one taking the cliff dive. It's Your Turn Now, Buddy :)
Kiss: this was one of my last remaining choices. It physically pains me to say this. Show Curtain. I can't deal with him for any length of time and at least I know he uses some $300 mouthwash
Marry: fuck it. Jeepers. I feel like he'd earnestly try to be a good partner. He'd bring roses home but trip and fall face-first in the mud while bringing them back so you can't even see the red petals under all the muck. it's the thought that counts
Set on Fire: Book Curtain. Ledroptha Curtain gets to Hurtin'.
Wrap a Blanket around: Marlon. I know I bully him but he really doesn't deserve to deal with Curtain. no one does. Jeepers should get a blanket too, but this is the way this one worked out.
Be Roommates with: Crawlings. I could convince him to burn his other eyebrow off by giving him a hair straightener and telling him it was designed to stimulate eyebrow growth. yea turn it all the way up and run it across your remaining eyebrow it's gonna look great. try your scalp next
#that was challenging but honestly the most fun I've ever had on one of these#ask game#tmbs#crawlings#mccracken#ld curtain#mr. curtain#jeepers#jeffers#marlon
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I'm imagining a situation in which the kids get trapped with Crawlings and they all have to work together to get out
#The shenanigans that would ensue#Would be wonderful#Or maybe Jeffers#That might be s better option#mbs#Crawlings
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💐!! I hope you are doing well today <3
Thank you, Sophie! You were asking about the ten men. I will warn you, this dialogue has not been peer reviewed, so I hope it meets the standard.
“It also works because we have ten specific ways we can hurt people,” he explained.
“Is that so?” asked Sharpe.
“Yes,” confirmed Crawlings. “1) with our fists, 2) with our laser pointers, 3) with our shock watches, 4) with our knock out handkerchiefs, 5) with all those weapons Sharpe made for us that looks like normal office supplies. You know, the calculator bombs, throwing pencils, paper clip chains…”
“Paper clip cuffs,” corrected Sharpe. “They’re deceptively strong.”
“Yeah, all that,” said Crawlings dismissively. “8) we can kick them, 9) we can insult them-”
#Watch out number nine. Nothing hurts worse than a sick burn courtesy of the ten men#Crawlings#Sharpe#The ten men#ten men#tmbs#tmbs fanfic#mbs fanfic#the mysterious benedict society#mysterious benedict society
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Constance once drew on Crawling's face with colorful Sharpies.
It took forever to wash off.
Both Curtain and Benedict were holding in their laughter.
OH MY GOD IM SO SORRY, I DONT USE MY CURRENT ACCOUNT THAT MUCH ANYMORE SKANFJEIEND ANYWAYS ‼️‼️‼️‼️
#the mysterious benedict society#tmbs misinformation#tmbs#mbs#constance contraire#mr curtain#mr benedict#nicholas benedict#nathaniel benedict#ld curtain#crawlings#ten men#the ten men
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presenting LEDROPTHA'S DAY IN COURT inspired by @sqenthusiast as well as @mvshortcut and @oflightningandstars
i'm terrible at drawing but i think that just makes this even more surreally hilarious
wake up babe new reaction image just dropped
#ledroptha curtain#the mysterious benedict society#mr curtain#crawlings#crawlings mbs#tmbs#my art#i guess????
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Okay so I know that Daniel Jacobi (Wolf 359) and Crawlings (The Mysterious Benedict Society) are two, fundamentally different characters. Like, the former is a very fleshed out antagonist with a proper redemption arc and the latter is mostly a bastard antagonist who stays that way for the whole series (and nothing against that, I love that for him). They both play different roles in their respective stories and it would probably be an unfair comparison to say the two are similar.
But…I MEAN CMON GUYS. They both just give off the same LoserTM energy. Everything they do backfires. They are so wonderfully cringy in the exact same way. Let me explain…
Daniel Jacobi once refused to let his handcuffs be taken because, as he quipped, they were “apart of his signature look”. He quickly recanted this when the Bigger Bad Guy played along and tightened them painfully.
Crawlings once was bitten by a three year old because he, a smug fool, tried to take on Constance Contraire. He spent the following moments sucking on his thumb and sulking.
Daniel Jacobi once got frustrated when his boss didn’t remember their Work-iversary (the one year mark for the day his boss recruited him to do evil shenanigans) and he spent a good 20 minute passive aggressively complaining about it.
Crawlings once laughed at his boss’s requests to exercise “Proper caution” and then got himself knocked out by one of their enemies not five minutes later.
When asked “Aren’t you a horrible person?”, Daniel Jacobi ate a fistful of Pringles and said “So what?”
When confronted by a child about the immorality of his actions, Crawlings winked and proceeded to accidentally poison himself with Super Genius Serum.
You see what I mean???
#they have done everything wrong and I still love them your Honor#Wolf 359#the mysterious benedict society#daniel jacobi#crawlings
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Title: safe ship, harboured
Chapter: in the warehouse
Summary: It was a relatively average mission, all things considered. Milligan woke in the morning to a call from one of his agents that a Ten Man had been spotted creeping about in Stonetown’s Marketplace. It seemed a very odd place for one of them to be lurking, and Milligan would be lying if he said it didn’t make him nervous. It felt like a trap, somehow.
-
or, Milligan runs into a familiar face on a mission.
#tmbs#the mysterious benedict society#milligan wetherall#sq pedalian#mccracken#mccracken tmbs#crawlings#crawlings tmbs#my writing#this took me! probably too long!#i just wanted to write something that was relatively short#just so i could. get something done#this is only gonna be two chapters#whatever happens after that is all up to ur imagination lol
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some things to remember:
if you see a popular post where two people are jokingly giving each other shit, it is both possible and extremely likely that these two people are friends messing around. if you approach a stranger with this overly familiar hostile energy, you are not being funny. you are just being rude.
remember that it is both extremely possible and highly likely that op will see everything you add to their posts, including tags. don't say things you would not say to their face.
a post urging people to not be rude to strangers is not a wink-nudge suggestion that people should actually be rude, nor is it a sign that op just needs to toughen up. asking people to be kind is not an outlandish request. if you find yourself offended or see it as an opportunity to show how funny you can be by being mean to someone you don't know, you're just an asshole.
it is much easier to say nothing than to go out of your way to be rude. blocking people is good and healthy. block whoever you want!
posts were more often than not made to express one's thoughts, feelings, experiences, etc. they are not intended to be directed at you, nor should they be taken personally
every account has a person behind it who can see and respond to your actions
if someone stating these things makes you angry, think about why that is
#every time i see a post that's like “don't be an asshole” a bunch of ppl crawl out of the woodworks to show their asses#you're not cute or funny. you just suck#yeehaw#1k#5k#10k
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(i Will go back to everlasting haitus if that GFM slows down too much btw, seeing it to its goal ASAP is my primary focus right now)
#i don't want to move the goalposts but i don't want donations to slow to a crawl just bc they are Halfway there#they obviously do still need to get ALL the way there to get the whole family out + get medical care they need#and they need it -quickly- and i -know- we -can- but it requires people besides me!#please help me help them
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"Do step back, dear fellow. Your gasps agitate me."
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Ranking every time the Ten Men get taken down by how cringe fail they are (Part 2)
Warning: this post contains major spoilers for Riddle of Ages!
We're back again already, folks. Part 1 is here; now it's time for round 2 of some good old pointing and laughing.
Book 4: The Riddle of Ages
first appearance of my problematic faves the Katz brothers! There's always gotta be one cowardly goon in the lot, and the Scaredy Katz fulfill their role admirably. This knockout isn't too cringe-worthy, although the dramatic "Now!" [immediately gets knocked out] is quite comical, as well as the image of him trying to run on his knees. 3/10
And here we have Garrotte being painfully average once again. Although this one is made more interesting by the fact that he and Sharpe apparently jumped some random businessmen on the street and stole their completely normal briefcases, then had the audacity to be surprised when said completely normal briefcases didn’t hold up well in a combat scenario. It’s almost as if they’re designed to hold paperwork, not fend off a flurry of tranquilizer darts. Who would’ve thunk. Also. You could literally walk into any Home Depot and find dozens of items more suited for this purpose, which the Ten Men easily could’ve done if they weren’t so darn committed to the stonks bit.
Also, “Most unfair! Such shoddy materials!” is the funniest possible thing you could say upon getting knocked out. It’s giving “trust fund kindergartener encounters Crayola crayons during art class for the first time ever.” Please just say “god damn it” like a normal person. 4/10
See this one is so funny to me. You're telling me that the infamous shock watches, which have terrorized several of our beloved characters over the course of the series, can be defeated simply by doing simple gymnastics? it's giving "show Sticky doing long division in his head to defeat Curtain's infamous Happiness brainwashing." Also, you're telling me you can knock out people simply by throwing darts at them? wild. anyways. I love Katz getting knocked out mid-threatening leap. 5/10
diversity win! Milligan won't kill you but he isn't above shooting you in the ass! 7/10
sorry this is so long but we need the full context to appreciate how cringe this is. imagine you brought five (5) of your best men to locate SQ Pedalian, a young adult not particularly skilled in combat, and also to fight a teenage girl. And now it's gone so sideways that you're literally the last one left standing. Standing, on top of an ice cream truck that you pushed on top of your opponent, who is now trapped beneath and yet has his hands casually laced behind his head as if he's tanning on the beach. And you got tricked into standing there, pinned by an empty gun, and simply watching while he loads darts into the (previously empty) gun. And now he's just shooting a bunch of empty darts at you, one after another, while you have to stand there and wait for him to finally knock you out. I think I would disintegrate on the spot. Also "You wouldn't shoot me in the face. That's not your style" bestie you just watched him shoot Sharpe in the ass. Would you prefer that instead? 9/10
This one might take the cake. First of all, they all fell for the trap, so now they're stuck in jail again like 3 days after escaping. And then, the teenage girl you've been terrorizing for years finally turns your stupid condescending pet names right back on you before a nine year old uses her mind powers to make you knock yourself out with your own weapon. 🫵 CRINGE. 10/10
Still very cringe, though less so than McCracken. It's kinda funny that Constance made them use their shockwatches instead of the (less painful) handkerchiefs. 6/10
Y'know, given the Katz brother's astounding loser energy, I'm amazed that they might actually have the least cringe take down. Taking the coward's way out. I respect it. Love them staring out the window. sad tigger gif here. Bonus points for ratting out Crawlings for being awful. 1/10 and two gold star stickers for them both
And, finally, for the grand finale, our favorite cringe boy is back:
Crawlings is making up for having fewer appearances in this book by making his COUNT. and YIKES. I literally have to step away every time I read this. From the supervillain monologue, to everyone groaning at him and then simply ignoring him (knowing what's about to happen), to Crawlings immediately poisoning and temporarily paralyzing himself the SECOND he gets a chance to be the Final Girl. And then he gets thrown back into jail. Plus the fact that he's on the floor about to pass out still wondering when the "Genius Serum" will kick in. uhhh. y'know, Crawlings, I might not be a genius either, but I have the slightest inkling that all may not be going according to plan. 11/10
And there we have it folks! The final rankings are:
Hertz: 6
The Katz Brothers: 9
Garrotte: 14
Sharpe: 22
McCracken: 35
And, in first place, with 36 points, our beloved Crawlings.
In conclusion,
#I put way too much time into this#I was surprised McCracken and Crawlings were so close#McCracken gets taken down less frequently but that means his are so much more cringe-worthy#the mysterious benedict society#tmbs#crawlings#mccracken#sharpe#garrotte#hertz#the katz brothers#ten men#the ten men
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#disclaimer: this is super much a joke and please don't take it seriously#you don't even have to vote if you don't want#that'd be hysterical. just a poll with no votes.#but i'd like to hear people's reasonings/the pros and cons if you feel like it :)#the mysterious benedict society#mbs#jeffers mbs#crawlings
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Below are links to some posts related to the divorce drama (I’m sure there are more, but if you have never heard of one, I thought the kind thing to do would be to give context):
Crawlings (read the reblogs)
Captain Noland
Curtain and Garrison
#Dr garrison#dr. garrison#dr curtain#dr. curtain#captain noland#Phil noland#crawlings#the ten men#the mysterious benedict society#mbs disney#Mysterious Benedict society#mbs#tmbs#ledroptha curtain#nathaniel benedict#tmbs disney#ld curtain
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