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banana789 · 1 year

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Warning spoilers for season 2

You are veronicas girlfriend and get shot by the black hood instead of fred (I made a few changes to the storyline)

Veronicas pov

I gushed as I saw my girlfriend slowly begin to wake up ,rubbing her eyes and giving the cutest yawn .

'Welcome back to the land of the living Babe ' I said with a laugh knowing she hated mornings

She suddenly gasped realising I had woken up before her

'How long have you been awake ?' She asked as she smiled back at me

'Ummm about an hour ago' I said blushing ,she looked back at me with the cutest pout on her face

'Babe I wanted you to wake me up it's your birthday, you shouldn't have to wait around for me. 'she explained.

'I know but you looked so peaceful I didn't have the heart to ruin that' I replied.

'Well I'm going to make it up to you' she said with a huff giving me a quick peck on the lips before climbing out of bed and going into the bathroom to get dressed

'Y/nkins you really don't ha...'

'No no it's your birthday and I'm your girlfriend so I'm going to treat you' she said cutting me off .

'Okay if you insist 'I said with a chuckle giving in as I knew how stubborn she was

'Now I am going to go and get you breakfast from pops and give you breakfast in bed .'she said with a proud smile

'Okay cutie thank you drive safe' I said as I have her a kiss .She rolled her eyes at my protectiveness

'I will bye babe happy birthday' she replied as she left the room

I snuggled down on her side of the bed and played a game on my phone

Y/n's pov

After ordering breakfast at pops I looked around before Archie and Fred called me over to join them .

'Hey y/n isn't it Veronicas birthday today?' Fred asked me as I sat down

'Yh it is I'm just getting us breakfast' I replied .

'Hey guys do you think Veronica will like this I got it for her birthday 'I asked pulling out a red case and opening it up ,inside was a golden locket in the shape of a heart containing a picture of me and V .Engraved on the heart were the words 'my heart belongs to you'

'Y/n ,Veronica is gonna love that'Archie said smiling

'Thanks Arch' I replied feeling relieved . I had never really bought jewellery before and had to save up for months for this so am nervous to give it to her .Then pops called my order so I began to get up .

'See you later guys have good day 'I said.

However as I was walking towards the counter I heard the bell on the door ring violently and saw a man wearing a black hood step in .I stopped as I noticed him pull a gun out of his pocket and point it towards pops head

'Pops run' I shouted alerting everyone in the diner including the shooter .I gulped in fear as I looked into his eyes and saw no emotion whatsoever just a heartless stare .

A deafening bang echoed through the restaurant as I felt a sudden jolt of pain in my stomach. I looked to down to be greeted with a huge stain of red on my shirt .My vision started spinning as I began getting dizzy and weak on my feet . I could vaguely here the voice of Archie and Fred calling my name as I felt someone catch me from falling . I tried to steady myself as I looked and saw a flash of Archies ginger hair as he held me .I handed him the red case and with my last breath I whispered the message I had been wanting to say for months into his ear. I saw him nod with a weak smile as tears poured down his face as I began to lose consciousness.

Veronicas pov

It's been nearly an hour since y/n left and I was beginning to get concerned .As I paced the living room I heard my phone ringing from the bedroom ,i raced in the and saw Archie was calling me and picked up.

'Archie have you heard from y/n she left for pops over an hour ago im really worried' I explained I could hear Archies heavy breathing on the line it sounds like he had been crying .This caused a sense of panic to flood over me .

'Veronica my dad's on the way to pick you up but right now I need to tell you something .I want you to take a deep breath and sit down'

'Ok?'I replied ,slowly sitting down dreading what he was about to say.

'There was a shooting at pops .Y/n ... she ... she tried to protect pop and ... I'm sorry veronica but she got hurt and it's not good .I'm at the emergency room with her now and I think you should get down here '

By now tears had flooded my eyes and I couldn't see clearly. I was breathing heavily as I began to let out sobs over the girl I had fallen in love with.

By now I hadn't even noticed that Fred had used y/n's key to let himself in and was holding me in his arms as sobs wracked through my body .

'I love her 'I said in between my crys

About an hour later I was sitting in the emergency room holding Betty and Archies hands as we waited for the nurse to give us an update .

I was a nervous wreck as memories of me and y/n flooded through my mind

Me asking her on a date because she was too nervous

Us cuddled up on the sofa watching disney movies

Us having food fights every time we try to bake

'Veronica' I heard Archie calling my name pulling me out of my thoughts.

'Before she passed out y/n gave me this .Its your birthday present 'He explains handing me a red case .I released Bettys hand from my grip and with shakily opened it up and saw the most beautiful heart shaped locket. Tears ran down my cheeks as I opened up the locket .Inside was a photo of me and y/n .It was taken after our first date .I turned over the locket to the message 'my heart belongs to you' engraved on the back .

'She also wanted me to tell you that she loves you 'He said with tears in his eyes .

Before I had time to process what had just happened i spotted a nurse walking towards us. We all stood up as she began to explain y/n's condition . We found out that she was in a coma and if she woke she would have a full recovery .Smiles suddenly covered Fred ,Archie and Bettys faces but the only thing I could focus on was the word if .

Betty seemed to notice this and held me her arms whispering comforting words in my ear .

I gathered up the courage to slowly walk to y/n's room .I opened the door and saw my girlfriend lying on the bed .She looked so small .

I walked towards her hospital bed and gently took her hand .

'I love you too y/n .So much .I want to spend the rest of my life with you .I know that you are going to wake up because you are so strong .You can't leave me and I swear to god if you die on me I will bring you back and kill you myself and then bring you back again so that we can live happily and spend the rest of our lives together .'I said to her my voice breaking and tears rolling down my face .I slowly leaned forward and placed a gentle kiss on her head all the while clutching the locket she got me.

This is the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with . I just hope her life doesn't end here.

#Veronica lodge #Veronica x reader #angst #fem reader #riverdale #lesbian #gxg #cute

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cal7x · 3 years

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#tw self harm #self harm ment #yh idk if you guys need anything else tagged #or how you need it tagged #anyways ive been 5 months clean today #i promised myself #on april 5th that id stop #it got to the point id cut places that would be visible to others #and. i had enough #yeah #i just... really wanted to share somewhere #because im proud of myself #i wont fall back this time #i think. i can do it this time #and even if i do i still did it right..? so..#but that feels self important to say

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mirakeul · 3 years

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cw: mentions of depression, sadness, being unalive

i’m in a somber mood, let’s go.

2020 has been such a fucking rollercoaster for me. because, many times, i have told myself that i just want to be unalive. many times i ask myself what the fuck am i doing with my life and it just makes me think back to all the things that made me live.

earlier this year, i got an email from my past self which i’ve written last 2017 and it was written when i was barely hanging on. it’s weird how i sent a letter to the future, not knowing if i would even make it.

and when i started writing on tumblr, i would never have thought that i would get this far. i first posted about food wars, which was not really all that popular (the one i posted i mean) and then i posted that yamaguchi short scenario which for me, was something i never thought i would do? because i’m not really good in writing.

and then the first kuroo fic i wrote blew up with over a hundred notes and i felt elated (SANBHFKJASHF what it has 368 notes now!! thank you!!). it made me want to write more than what i planned to. and then i hit 100, celebrated it with a teaser for the series i was supposed to write but discontinued. and then i made the folklore event for 200 and even if i discontinued some of the fics, i kinda felt proud i’ve written a lot.

and now we’re here. at 500. but i’m also a bit more, how do you call this, sad? or like forced to write or something (which i know is stupid especially since some readers do like telling me that i don’t need to say sorry about shit like this but yh)

and like as much as it pains me to like be jealous at the others with their interactions, i couldn’t do anything. i’ve always written for myself, writing your requests was always so fun since it made me think and be more creative with shit i write. but sometimes, i don’t know, i feel like i don’t deserve my achievements because of the number of interactions i get with people.

i hate myself so much for thinking like this. i just want validation and lately, i have been joking about disappearing and just making a new blog and tell no one, not one even my mutuals. i don’t know if i’ll do that, yet. but unlike last time, i won’t be in hiatus. i would just be posting more stuff of what i want, requests are still open if you do want to request stuff from me.

i want to make this year better. and so, i thank you.

if you read this far, thank you for caring. to all of my followers, i am so thankful for each and everyone of you. you believed in me when i couldn’t even believe in myself. i repeated what i said in a previous post but it’s true. thank you so much, i love you.

and now, an appreciation post for some of my mutuals and some usernames i see a lot in my notifications.

to @fairyoomi , irda, i have told you this already in your ask box but thank you. i love you so much, you’ve made me become better.

to @kuyog , jere, i also told you this in your ask box but let me tell you again, isa ka sa pinagpapasalamat kong makilala this 2020. mahal kita

to @sachirou-senpai , ellie, my wife, thank you. i am very glad we met in 2020. you made me happier. and to the haikyuhagakure server as well, thank you. i love you all

to @pyblos , lyra, i am so thankful for you and your comments towards my works. i am glad to have met someone like you, i love you.

to @edensxgarden , eden, and @hikari-writes , hikari, my first ever friends on here. thank you. you guys made me feel loved and all that stuff. and although we aren’t that close like we used to be, i am still thankful for you. i love you guys

to @taiyaaki , mio, i know you’re in hiatus so i’m probably going to send this on discord as well if you don’t see it skksksks, thank you for believing in me and stuff, im happy to meet you, i love you.

to @x-bnha-imagines-x , @takemetovalhalla, @k-sakusa-old, @chopstickcamewithalargelomein, and to those who constantly like and reblog my posts, you are all awesome! thank you!! <33

to each and everyone in the anonymous family, special shoutout to kia, thank you so much for indulging me and my attention-seeking nature HAHAHAHA ily guys

i hope a lot of you would stay until 2021, i love you.

#cw depression #cw sadness #cw mentions of attempts #tw depression #tw sadness #tw 2020 #HAHAHAHA #no but #this is like a thank you #and a fuck you to 2020 #:)) HAHA #cw sappy shit at the end #jk #i think

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oldestinker · 3 years

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Tagged by @taardisblue thanks bud normally I don't do these but i crave attention too much to resist.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favourite authors!

Yh so I don't really have "stories" per se its more like I have a bunch of one sentence poem fragments that are rotting in my phone notes waiting to be used. But again. I love attention so here we go:

1. This ones actually finished! I wrote when i was obsessed with Dead To Me (which i still am its an amazing show go watch it)

"You stand on the edge

And dare yourself to step forward."

2. Poem fragment time! I write my silly little sentences and then i forget they exist :)

"They say look to the past but i don't remember it and then they say look to the future but i don't remember that either all i have is two walls closing in on me and theyre going to squash me like an insect under black boots"

3. This one is also finished! I am so proud of myself. This poem was written mid quarantine and you can tell.

"Poets always write that

when the world ends we will run to each other as the sky burns

but I think (or know, from experience) that when this world dies I will be sitting in my room alone"

4. Wait a moment! This ones an actual story! An unfinished one but we're not nitpicky right lads. Idk how to summarize this one its original characters its gay and it takes place on the prairie.

“Hey Ant?”

“Yes?”

“Which way is east?”

5. Unexplained sentence that i dont remember writing but i write so little that im adding it anyway.

"Panic has eaten my heart raw"

6. This is the most recent one and its not my favorite as a vent poem but it IS my favorite in thats its technically gay fanfic. No i will not be telling yall what its from sorry.

"Yeah my heart is bleached cattle bones on the side of the road left to dry and never recovered but i look at you and i feel like early morning grass with the dew still on"

Ok im stopping here bc I do not have 20 wips bc holy shit who writes that much. Also im not tagging anyone sorry love ❤

As for favorite,,,either 3 or 6 bc i like that style of poetry.

#have fun with these yall i don't write very often so this is all you get

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prorevkiss · 4 years

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yh i only come on here every once in a while to make a text post for validation but im gonna make one of those really long rant posts because im in my five am benzodiazepine mood and angry because of the state of society rn. i’ll probably delete this later.

i come across videos every once in a while of men (white men. cis straight white men) who are trump supporters. they get a hate comment and go on a rant as long as this one about how if they were a minority or a leftist people wouldn’t be as comfortable making hate comments. i can’t reply to him, i can’t put it into words under 140 characters but he can’t begin to understand. as minorities we’ve succeeded in making most of the internet a safe place for us. it’s still not without its cons but i know i won’t get hurt there. it’s the only place where i can say that. once you leave those virtual doors you fear for your life while in your own front yard because the people across from you own a gun and a trump sign. this guy who got a hate comment, he can escape the internet. it’s a completely optional and voluntary task to make videos on the internet. i can’t choose not to live in the real world. the sad thing is that he talks within his narrow mindset about the liberal media and how he’s the victim because someone on facebook said he’s dirty for supporting trump. HOW MANY OF YOUR PEOPLE HAVE BEEN KILLED? i’m consistently stuck between being as loud and proud as possible to anger the bigots and then not wanting to die because the bigots are the ones with the guns and the ones who hate us for existing. i have had slurs yelled at me in the school hallways, i was twelve. i have had rocks thrown at me because i didn’t fit the cishet profile. i have had to see every news story of my sisters being killed for existing. i have had to know about a woman in my hometown murdered for being transgender and having to walk on those very streets it happened. i have to go to sleep with another fresh dead face in my mind and go to school the next day like nothing happened. i cry myself to sleep at night for my future, for my friends’ future, and the fact that we are completely powerless in it. i have to drive past anti-abortion billboards on the highway and envision me and my closest friends buying pallets of plan-b, envision bleeding to death from the wire coat hanger. i have to think about my trans girlfriend, praying to gods i’m not sure exist to keep her safe, please, please, she can’t be number 20-something, number 30-something, number however many until there’s no history left of them and of us except for disgusting yellow gossip because there’s no place for us in this world. i want to take all my rage and throw buckets of sheep’s blood on the white house lawn, this is our blood, this is what you’re doing to us. i want to burn down every house that can proudly boast their hate for our kind while my people are losing their rights one by one. this is all so very real and terrifying, and every day i’m afraid to check the news because i’m afraid it might mean tearing down every piece of myself to ensure my safety. we don’t have much time. i can’t vote but my future is being affected by everything. he’s going to vote red and no matter what the turnout is he’ll never have to deal with any of this because he’ll always be at the top of the food chain. this is all so hopeless.

#long post #bigotry tw

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tadhaana · 5 years

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Tag, You're It!

Rules: Answer the questions and tag as many people as you can!

Got tagged by: @drawinglinesinarbitraryplaces @natalalalalalalala yh my friends hate me lol

Name/Nickname: im diana but my friends call me dia and like,, at this point ive nearly forgotten that that isnt my name. in primary i was didi, di, dice (idk why), honey (by that one boy it sucked). at home my dad calls me girl or offspring bc my dad is a great parent™ and my mum calls me by the name that they gave me like a normal person bc my mum is the only sane person in my household.

Gender: cis fem

Astrological Sign: cancer :)

Birthday: 22/6

Height: 5'6 - apparently it's average height but all my friends hate me and call me short >:(

Sexuality: demi pan pride !

Hogwarts House: PROUD TO BE A HUFFLEPUFF 💛💛💛

Blanket Count: aLL OF THEM

Nationality/Country: 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭 proud to be pinoy 🇵🇭🇵🇭🇵🇭 unfortunately, i live in england and legally im british (booooo brexit) but if u call me something that isn't pinoy u can catch these fists. i am also part chinese on my mum's side and part spanish on my dad's side but let's not get into that or else ill be here all day.

Occupation: other than mooching off my parents' money, no

Hobbies: i play guitar, ukulele, piano. i also sing bc why not. i like to read and i write sometimes but it isnt very good... also does binge watching k drama and general tv shows count as a hobby bc thats literally all i do with myself everything above this bit is a lie.

Other blogs: nope

Favourite book: way too many but the lady of the rivers is quite good. so is the maze runner. and so are the other 2875585 books ive read and loved. also if we r doing wattpad books then the bad boy and the tomboy bc im a sucker for a romcom.

Favourite movie: the maze runner <3 i just really love newt ok he deserves the entire world.

Favourite colour: yellow 💛💛💛

Favorite season: the transition from spring to summer.

Favorite animal: a snow leopard. i dont know why its just that it has been my favorite animal since reception so...

Last movie I watched: probably the maze runner i haven't watched a movie since the summer holidays and given that my memory is that of a goldfish i really don't know.

Last song I listened to: voodoo doll by 5SOS 💛💛💛

Last book I read: the white princess. if we r counting wattpad books then fraternizing with the enemy.

inspiration or muse: i have no idea but i really love van gogh and i just had to put that in there bc i really love van gogh ok. i love van gogh 💛💛💛

meaning of URL: i just really love yellow, ok

dream job: i would love to be a pediatrician but im really bad at science so i dont think it's gonna happen

Dream destination: just bring me back to the Philippines please it's cold in England.

i refuse to tag anyone else.

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pjsta · 6 years

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Ok but a lot of people will never fully understand just how important Ryan having dyspraxia is to me so here's some reasons for you:

- It's a hidden disability most people have never even heard about, so here's to educating them!!

- As people don't know it exists, representation is scarce

- Seriously i knew maybe two characters with dyspraxia before at the most

- and thats out of everything I've ever watched/read

- I don't even remember who one of them is but I'm sure I knew two

- and they dont really get into how it affected the characters either

- I now have a third character to whom I can relate whoooo

- Ryan seems to dislike talking about it bc of the reactions of people around him and honestly often times same

- First things first it is impossible for me, a dyspraxic, to condense the entirety of my dyspraxia down into a 1 minute summary and it often makes people awkwardly go oh... ummm????

- like i have a vague script but do i stick to it? Nope.

- seriously though i love that we got to see how different people react to his dyspraxia bc they were all so real and realistic

- He feels like he's letting his nan down (he's not but i feel this)

- But Grace was amazing and so supportive with him without trying to push so hard that he feels even more like a let down and she told him you already make me proud and im cry bc that is how you support and grace is the best fail to change my mind

- Graeme often treats it like he's using it as an excuse

- remember the "oh you going to blame this on dyspraxia too"

- seriously graeme, f u for that line

- i may think it myself often but it is Not. Cool. to say and it hurts like hell

- also he kinda seemed to treat him like a child sometimes and thats bad enough for neurotypical teenagers but pls dont bc we especially really dont need that

- Yaz knowing about it but not seeming to really know how to treat him??

- she occasionally seemed to think 'how should i treat him in this specific scenario'

- surprise surprise treat him like you would anyone else unless otherwise is said duh

- but i did like her making sure he would be ok with the climbing the ladder bc theres a difference between treating someone differently and actively making sure they're comfortable doing a thing

- (also fyi sloped ladders are mostly alright. Vertical ladders that go very very high can go die)

- yes riding a bike can be a real struggle for us dyspraxics

- if i didnt have the support and practice i did would very likely be in the same boat

- theres a reason why i dont trust myself on a bike on roads

- like yeah nope not a good plan

- ryan obviously not liking this aspect of himself is so relatable bc there're honestly times when i hate it too

- sometimes its just kinda there and other times its like i could really do without this pls go away and to see ryan do the same is just yh same

- i love that he said like despite this im actually a capable person but at the same time i hate it bc i know just what it feels like to know im a capable person but not always feel like it bc i cant always do things like everyone else can

- also!! Representation!!

- ik i said this earlier but the fact that we *actually* get representation for once and in a show as huge as doctor who?? THANK YOU SO SO MUCH!!!!

- im really so so happy about this omg

- also it's dyspraxia foundation's dyspraxia awareness week so it's great timing too

- im so proud of ryan though

- he keeps going and keeps trying and im so proud

- you got this ryan

- i really hope we can maybe explore more of how it affects him

- its a thing that affects everyone differently so it would be good if they can show a massive variation and there's seriously so much they could do with this

- like stuff like messy incomprehensible hand writing bc motor control skills hate us

- falling over bc suddenly all balance has disappeared and centre of gravity does not exist for us so whoops over we go

- balancing on tiptoes bc we know we're just gonna fall over but we're going to feel good doing it

- maybe a bit of how it affected him at school

- like there were times when yaz seemed to remember from when they were kids and hes just different enough for it to be noticeable and not just with coordination difficulties but maybe thats just me seeing these things

- slower processing skills lead to not getting things down enough in the classroom which leads to gaps in our knowledge!!

- I had a slope and a funny cushion at school to try to help my writing and focus?? So little gadgets (fidget cube anyone??) to try to help him

- good time management is not a thing. What do you mean an hour has passed in five minutes or five minutes has taken a year??

- ryan trying to get his thoughts out in a comprehensible order and just ending up in a tangled mess of stammer, words and thoughts that worked in his head but didn't come out right at all and oops but you guys know what i mean right??

- coordination working for a while then suddenly just up and disappearing

- ryan being given instructions and needing them written down all the time bc error 404 short term memory does not exist is a thing and no i cant remember this thing you literally just said what??

- ryan organising sthg in a way that everyone else goes wait what why but to him makes perfect sense

- the evil that is shoelaces

- maybe aversion to extreme tastes?? Bc thats a thing

- Distractions! Distractions! Distractions!

- showing that dyspraxia is not all about being clumsy and coordination there are so many ways in which it can affect us

- also mental health can really be affected by it bc we live in a world not built for us and when people dont believe it exists or dont support us in it very well it can be very damaging

- *something goes wrong*: flail and freeze

So yeah, Ryan being dyspraxic means so much to me

Thank you, Doctor Who

#ryan sinclair #doctor who #thank you doctor who #so so much #dyspraxia #dyspraxia awareness week 2018 #dyspraxic #ryan sinclair is dyspraxic #and im so so proud of him #you have a great time in time and space for us #you deserve it #im going to be yelling about this for the entire series #just so you know #we almost never get representation let me live #doctor who series 11 #(ive been trying to write this all night here we are finally)

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pearlyfuckingdolores · 5 years

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101 reasons why im not going to eat for 20 days:

1. I am fat. I am just so fat and ugly.

2. when im skinny I will be able to wear WHATEVER I want

3. I cant leave my bed when I am this fat, I will finally be able to go out and enjoy myself in the summer.

4. my birthday is coming up and if im not skinnier than I was last year then im going to kms

5. finally people will be able to lift me up without me weighing a tonne

6. I will have more defined cheek bones

7. I will be able to walk in front of people without them looking at me and thinking how fat I am

8. I will look like I don't eat

9. everything will be okay when im happy

10. I cant be fat and happy, that dosent exists

11. I will look so good in mini skirts and little dresses

12. people wont be calling me ‘healthy’ looking

13. I will look scarily skinny if I don't eat

14. eating only makes me sad so why the fuck would I ever eat?

15. ill drop so much weight so fat, and everyone will wonder how I done it so fkn well

16. I wont feel ugly under my skin

17. it will motivate me to go longer without eating

18. I will be happy

19. I will be able to leave my bed and go into school everyday without having to worry about how fat I look

20. people will think I finally look skinny, I wont be the fat girl anymore

21. my vison will be blurry when I stand and I will be faint all the time, I love that feeling

22. I will always be weak and have no energy, I love feeling like this coz it means im doing something right

23. I will finally be HUNGRY. im never hungry now coz I always eat like a fat pig, hunger is a sign of success.

24. I will finally be at my first goal weight

25. my goal for my birthday is 45kg

26. I wont be sad

27. I will be closer to looking like my thinspo

28. I will be able to wear a bikini

29. I will have a much bigger thigh gap

30. my stomach wont look all fat and disgusting

31. my thighs wont look fat when I sit down (and they wont look fat when I stand either but yh)

32. all my clothes will be baggy on me

33. I will feel motivated to loose more weight

34. my fingers will be boney and slim

35. I will be able to wear rings on my slim fingers without them looking like fucking sausages

36. my arms will be boney and skinny

37. you will finally be able to see my rib cage

38. collar bones showing

39. hips bones showing

40. I will have a teeny tiny stomach and waist

41. I wont be the chunk friend anymore

42. I will be the skinniest out of all of my friends

43. I will feel confident and beautiful

44. everything about me will be small

45. my face will be more defined, no more double chin !

46. I will look skinny in everything I wear

47. at the end of the day I will still look skinny

48. I wont be a sweaty pig anymore

49. I wont feel fat hanging off me

50. I will be able to stick my hand through my thighs without it touching them

51. I will look like a model

52. everything about me will be perfect, I need perfection !

53. I will feel so cleansed and fresh after the fast

54. april is a binge free month so im going to really be sticking to this diet

55. if other people can do it, then why the fuck cant I?

56. I want to be the best at not eating, I want to win

57. I don't want to feel like a beached whale

58. I will be able to wear baggy clothes and oversized jumpers without it making me look even bigger, it will look cuuute

59. I wont have the urge to binge anymore

60. it will just make me more and more determined to get to my goal

61. I will finally reach my first goal weight maybe even better it if I do 20 days with no food and I will finally be out of this binge purge cycle that im In

62. I will be able to wear all the cute dresses I brought for summer

63. I will be able to wear crop tops and bralettes without my fat body hanging out

64. I wont want to die anymore

65. I wont cry myself to sleep at night

66. I wont feel uncomfortable in my own body

67. I wont feel trapped

68. I will be able to go out everday in my summer holidays and be enjoy myself, whereas if I eat I will spend every day crying in my bed about how fat I am and nothing will get solved

69. PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM PROM !!!!!! I need to be 40kg for fucking prom

70. im just going to end up ODing if I don't get to my goal weight coz this just sint fun anymore

71. I will be able to wear the cute jackets I brought myself

72. starvation is success

73. I wont look fat in pictures

74. I want to be a model, I cant be a model if I look like this

75. beauty might take pain but im strong and I have determination. I will get what I want and I wont let anything stop me

76. im not going to let fat beat me. im going to beat obesity.

77. if not now then when?

78. if I don't stop eating now, im just going to keep piling on the pounds and its only going to make it harder and harder for me to get to my goal weight.

79. its so close to summer now, I need to loose the weight before it gets too late

80. im so fucking sad being like this, living inside this fat body just feels so fucking painful and id rather be dead. but if I do something about it then I wont have to feel like this.

81. I will be able to fit into size 0

82. I wont be able to grab all my fat into my hands, it wont exist coz ill be skin and bone

83. no body likes me when I look like this. I look like a oaf, chunky lumpy and fucking huge

84. I want to be able to wear skimpy clothes and not have to cover myself up in trackies forever

85. if I don't fix the problem now, then its never going to get fixed

86. im scared if I don't get really skinny really soon then ana might leave me and if she does I wont have the motivation to loose weight quick enough

87. I will be the thinspo, instead of the fat girl looking it

88. I wont have to keep doing this, crying myself in my room on my own coz im too fat to go out and be seen by anyone

89. no more bloating

90. I have wanted to be skinny for my whole life, but iv only wanted that calorie packed food for 5 mins. so why eat it?

91. I will be able to wear leggings and anything fitted without it making my body looking fat and ugly

92. skinny girls are pretty

93. I will be able to fit my hands round my legs and arms

94. I will feel amazing in my new body

95. when I see people who I haven't seen in a while they will be so shocked at how much weight iv lost

96. the satisfaction of getting on the scales and seeing how much weight iv lost

97. I will be the best ana if I can fast for 20 days

98. it will be my longest fast yet and I will feel so proud

99. each pound that goes down is my happiness going up

100. I don't want anything more for myself that to be skinny

101. EVERYTHING WILL BE PERFECT IF I HAVE CONTROL AND BE STRONG - RESIST OR REGRET

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kismetzvezda · 6 years

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My piece on Gryffindor Stereotypes.

Ok so I’ve been here a while and I've never done a long-winded text post but I fell down a harry potter house rabbit hole and I got unreasonably angry :P as people often do on Tumblr, so now I have to say my piece. I’ll start with my own experience in this sorting-debacle.

Let me preface by saying that although some people/ characters might be TEXTBOOK examples of the houses MOST people in the world fall in the cracks.Nevertheless, you can only have one house in the potterverse and I had been torn between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor for a very long time.Most times I took the test (and answered honestly because Im a nerd and this is important to me) I would get Gryffindor over Ravenclaw. I never really understood why. I’m a massive bookworm and have often chosen to neglect a social scene in favour of a book. I have an overactive imagination, I believe in the power of wit and intellect over brawn and, in many cases I tend to think and analyze a situation instead of rushing in.

I realize now that I’m a Gryffindor overall because of who I am at my very core. And thats a child who consistently talked back to an abusive parent and refused to be silenced or intimidated by bullies, I would rather do my own thing and start my own club than take it lying down. Despite an initial terror in public speaking I read the pieces I wrote allowed, published them and got INTO public speaking overall because saying my piece and standing up for justice and what I believed in was more important than anything else and because of the power and rightness I felt coursing through my veins doing so. Its because when people cant be bothered to take a stand and get involved in an issue I FEEL people should be fighting for I step up, take charge and do it myself, even if its unpopular, even if I’ll be judged and have to face adversity and conflict for it because it matters to me and I think it matters for the world and YEAH I want people to know me as someone that fights for what is right (not necessarily to show boat but because thats who I want to be remembered as) its because when I can feel Im right about something noone can shake me. I’ll listen to you with an open mind and I'll even concede to some of your points but overall my opinion on matters to do with the generic concept of morality and the generic concept of ‘what’s right’ is very rarely swayed Its because I ALWAYS look up to the badass fighters and rebels who refuse to give up and carry on no matter the odds because of their belief, their determination and their power of will. Its because to me, loyalty and fighting for my friends and family is the single most important thing in the world.

I value these traits and the idea of justice, my interpretation of TRUE justice above all and I KNOW that these are, at their core, GRYFFINDOR traits which is why I know this is my house (my affinity for forests, my love for lions and an overall tendency to go for shades of red and gold aside)

Im proud of my house. Sure, we produce a couple of cocky jackasses (I’m CONVINCED Gaston is a Gryffindor, don’t do the Slytherin’s dirty like that) some ruthless pioneers for the sake of’justice’ (@ Dumbledore) and yh some reckless people that aren’t necessarily classified as the “brightest” and fit into the “dumb jock” stereotype but THAT IS NOT WHAT DEFINES US AS A HOUSE.

I saw a post a little while ago saying: the difference between Slytherins and Gryffindors is that Slytherins are brave not stupid but COME ON?! whoever wrote that, just seemed like a convenient way of explaining why Slytherin’s may choose to not fight for something that truly matters/ the greater good as per the events of the book (NOT SAYING THATS THE CASE OVERALL)

Or another one saying that ‘Courage’ is a Hufflepuff trait when its LISTED on Pottermore as a Gryffindor trait and Hufflepuffs are known to be, in my opinion, the superior quality of people in terms of GOODNESS overall because they’re ruled by fairness, hard work, kindness and also loyalty.

I've seen heroes I’ve aspired to for large parts of growing up like Mulan and Rose Hathaway that are primary ruled by courage, bravery and stubbornness even in the face of adversity, true Gryffindors, be scoffed at because “Mulan’s too smart to be a gryffindor” or ‘Rose is too loyal and self-sacrificing to be a Gryffindor (NEVILLE? RON? HERMIONE? REMUS? LILY?!?)

All im saying is that I KNOW the other houses deserve more recognition, respect and awe and of course every house can show INCREDIBLE amounts of bravery, courage, nerve and daring (Luna is my all time favourite example of this along with Lucy Pevensie from Narnia) honestly, sometimes I wish I was able to have the badass vibe that comes from being a Slytherin but just as you ask us to focus on the KEY TRAITS that define your house, and that define you to your core, I ask you to stop stereotyping Gryffindors as trigger happy hotheads that impulsively rush into things and act stupidly....the phrase “he’s too stupid to be a Gryffindor” goes AGAINST cannon Gryffindors because the truth is that, at its core, true bravery is a choice and if you choose it above all else you’re a Gryffindor, WHICH, as the books have shown us, leads to a VARIETY of different Gryffindors.

You can be shy and be a Gryffindor. You can be anxious and have fears and be a Gryffindor. You can love to read and be able to manipulate people to suit your needs AND be a Gryffindor, you can analyze situations cautiously most of the time and STILL be a Gryffindor because when THAT moment in your life comes, a true Gryffindor will pick bravery and charge into doing what is right before all else and that doesn’t necessarily mean bursting into a battlefield with no though of the consequences, it means knowing the consequences, knowing your odds, knowing your fears and charging ahead anyways because you’ll be damned if if you don’t give everything you have to keep “evil” from winning.

Anyway...all this to say, please don’t give us the dumb jock hothead stereotype, when we deserve a lot more than that. Be proud and stand up for the friends who would have your back in a fight and stand up for you and with you without question. And we’ll celebrate your incredible intellect, your go-getter attitudes and ambition, your kindness, your strength and your dignity because everyone deserves recognition for the traits they’re most proud of.

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hobslobster-remade · 6 years

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Positivity Tag 🌻

i was tagged by @megjin to do this tag! (listen bby u tagged me like 872 months ago alksdjfd im so so sorry for doing this so late i dont hate you i sweAr <33)

tagging: @religion-agustd @mintjjk @aesthetic-myeon @suganochu @stardoges @girl-meets-disrespect @cloudyandhopeful @hosseokss @yoongiscookie @hobibout-that @adore-jhope @ixmyg !!! (don’t feel pressured to do this!)

Rules: Write 10 positive things that happened in 2017, then tag several people that you hope have an amazing 2018!!

1. i started high school! albeit, a bit shakily and i’ve definitely been more stressed out these past months than all my other years of school combined but still!! it’s one more step into the future and i’m growing up! that’s basically all i have to say for this topic lmao it’s kind of a double edged sword.

2. i met a lot of people here!!! until the last year, i wasn’t really putting myself out there a lot (i mean, i still don’t but let’s igNORE that) but once i did start trying to talk to people i made a lot of great friends! these friends really just brightened up my 2017, without them it probably would’ve been hard to get through 2017, so thank you <3 3. it really sucks that i can only think of a few things but let me see. last year, i had two teachers that completely changed me as a person and made me reflect on things a lot harder than i previously would have. they were both incredibly supportive and helped me out tons! i was put into a variety of leadership roles throughout the school so my last year in middle school was definitely made memorable as i was the head of many clubs and got to be known around the school.

4. i got my first drawing tablet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! alkjdshflkjasdfk i was so happy because i’d been wanting one forever and i’m absolutely in love with it!!!!

5. i had an amazing graduation night :(( usually, knowing my school, it would’ve been terrible. but for my year, they booked an actual hall and made reservations for dinner and it was just amazing. i got to recieve awards in front of the people i love the most, i ate decent food that didn’t taste like plastic and i danced all night with my friends who i really really really love (and some of which i miss very much). it was just a great night overall and i felt really full, you know? it might not make sense but i felt really amazing :((

6. i went to my friends birthday party (where many crazy things happened). this probably doesn’t seem like an achievement but i usually chicken out of events like that last second and make up excuses because of how anxious i get alkjdsf. so i decided to actually go this one time and it was really fun!

7. oH I GOT INTO BTS WOWOOWWO it was around the beginning of September last year when i got into this fandom and uhM best thing that’s ever happened to me tbh

8. i made an entire yearbook from nothing in the two last weeks of school for the graduating classes. lisTEN the yb committee didn’t do any preparation beforehand and we basically weren’t going to have a yearbook but i stepped up with a few of my friends and in the last 2 weeks of school, we all took pictures and actively tried getting more from teachers, begged the principal for the principal’s address (which he gave in like 2 days before we had to submit it to get printed >:(((( ) and designed all the pages/put in all the text. it was only a group of 4/5 ppl so it was tough but we did it!!! one of my friends and i were basically in charge so we put in a lot of work and we were working on it the day before grad until 6 at school so yh we were rlly hard, there were tears shed and just so much joy after everything was over omfg. i needed to rant abt that wtf. lksadf anyways yh im proud!!

9. umm i did secret santa with a close group of friends (although i wasn’t able to actually attend since i had the stomach flu) but idk it was rlly meaningful to me and i just love them all a lot :((

10. i stayed to see 2018! im alive, and mostly happy, and i’ve got a lot ahead of me so i’m glad! i’m glad that i worked my ass off in 2017 to get to a good highschool in a great program full of overachievers alksdjf idk i didn’t really like 2017, so ig it’s a good thing that i made it through the year!

that’s all folks thanks for reading and i dont blame u if u skipped through most of it alkjshfdlkjfjdks <3333

#tagged #thank you omg i feel so bad alkjsdhflkajds #this had been lying around in my drafts since 2000 B.C

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nicohischier · 4 years

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im sorry im making an effort and i swear im like five minutes away from making a kpop blog and never mentioning it here again but it’s three am and ive worked myself into tears because of how much i love shim fucking changmin.

so this got really long and because im not trying to scare away followers,,, she’s under the cut,,,

when i watched his solo mv debut i had no idea hed end up being so goddamn vital to my happiness. tvxq is seventeen goddamn years old. changmin is thirty two years old and my first reaction every time i see him is to go ‘baby!’ and spew cheesy pet names at him. i love him so much and its so dumb because ive only really known about him since april but hes just taken over my heart and it is not the first time ive cried because i cant handle how much i love him. changmin is just genuinely so sweet and adorable and funny and it breaks my heart that i cant look him in the eye and tell him how great a person he is. his eyes are so soft and he knows it and welcoming and he makes me feel comfy on bad days. his smile sends butterflies through my chest, his laugh warms my heart, his voice is one of the most precious sounds ive ever heard. every thing he did on the analog trip w suju + yunho really made my whole entire life if im tbh too. him just becoming a member of suju, casually, going through the worst possible time of his life when they volunteer him to handle the money, breathing, the way he wasn’t there when sd/dh/yh were done paragliding and ordered drinks and then couldn’t pay because changmin was not present, ‘tell them were children’ ‘i did—it didnt work’, mimicking how yunho looked when he took off on the paraglide, learning ‘discount, pls?’ in indonesian, dying at leeteuk just telling the staff theyre from korea like three different times as an introduction to begging for a discount, writing the lyrics to come a little closer. my heart hurts. the anaglog trip livestream they did in jan and his aegyo and dying-of-laughter-so-intense-must-yeet-cuecards-into-floor. he breaks my heart guys... also his english voice??? pure, gentle, incredible, iconic, heartwarming. i love him. but also like hes been through a lot in his years as tvxq. like in 2006 yunho was honest to god poisoned and set to hospital cause some girl gave him water mixed with superglue, and changmin and yunho were always close even before tvxq lost their other members, so he had to sit there while his friend and leader was in the hospital because he was poisoned. then like a year or so later four of his close friends were in a car accident, and it was near fatal for once of his best friends who ended up with like a pierced lung and other shit, and like he almost didn’t get the surgery that would have probably saved his life cause kyuhyuns father decided not to go ahead with because it wouldve destroyed his singing career so changmin could have watched his best friend die thank god for dr wang youngpil and his alternate solution. then tvxq loses three of its members and its just yunho and changmin and they have to deal with reinserting themselves into the scene after taking hiatus to deal with the lawsuit jyj pressed against sm, reconfiguring themselves into a duo, dealing with the loss of their three friends, etc. then like obviously 2017, which i say obviously but unless you know kpop you dont know what i mean by obviously 2017 just know that really late 2017 was tough for sm artists because they lost someone really important. i just... hes been through a lot and im really proud of him for not just dipping on kpop. hes super important to my happiness and im so goddamn grateful for his existence.

#not hockey #gtkm #might delete this later... kinda embarassed abt my feelings #long post #THIS REALLY WENT FROM ME CRYING ABOUT HOW I LOVE HIM TO ME GOING HERES WHY I LOVE SHIM CHANGMIN + SOURCES #ITS NOW 4:00AM I WAS UP FOR AN HOUR JUST TYPING THIS SHIT #i should have cut myself off after talking about his laugh and all but... i didnt... and now we have this...#but no seriously #i truly do love changmin so much and i have no idea how it came on me so quickly but im really glad he came into my life #an open letter #changmin #kpop tag

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19andjournaling · 7 years

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Everyday life

**←←inside thoughts “I mean all they are, are attention seekers. People who get all depressed and share it online.” *someone needs to stop her* “I mean you have everything, why you so sad anyways?” * does she not think we know that* “What do you think minz?” Everyone turns and looks at me. Threatening much. “Well i dont have emotions but if i did im going to assume that there are those who dont go ahead and show their cuts or whatever to the world.” I gave the spectators a smile and turned around. *Like me* i thought to myself. Theyre stinging again but im used to it by now. At this point i know they’re going to be with me forever so I’ve learnt to embrace them. *I mean you have everything, why you so sad anyways?* Thats what my dad said to me when he heard the word depressed coming out of my mouth. He got mad pretty fast. Oh well, theyre not wrong. “You got 70?? Haha youre so dumb.” *it was so fucking hard to pass with this depression. Im trying* “Oh yeah i know. Need to study a little harder” Heading off to math class, his class is right next to mine. If he knew what im really like, he’d probably stop talking to me. *sigh. The girl next to me is depressed. I know that because i read the stuff in her exercise book. She avoids maths too. Even though i feel as if i should help her out, i cant bring myself to do that, and that makes me feel crap. At lunch i watch my friends laughing and messing around. They dont have the best lives either *i mean all we are, are a bunch of depressed and lying teens.* I hate myself for eating. I made a promise that im going to starve myself for the week but guess that didnt work out. In march I made a promise that I’d never cut again and as far as they know, ive kept that. *just 2 weeks clean* The arabic teacher gives us some talk about how being depressed means you’re not thankful. Bs much. The two people at the back of the class are so annoying but they amuse me because they seem and probably are so happy. Like how do you stay that cheerful and energetic? Nothin but positive vibes. *theyre fake friends* Telling my brain to shut up i start to join in with the fun. “Hey um sorry i forgot your name. Could you tell your brother hes invited to the annual dinner? We want him as mc and need him to meet a few people.” *oh yh hi. Nice to meet you im fine thanks.* “yeah sure, but which one?” “Just tell both and tell the younger one for mc. And remember tickets are $10 each if you want to come.” *oh yeah totally. I so wanna go to another place where people just know me as the sister. Half of them dont even know me as a person.*

*yay so everyones so proud of them. Woop woop.* Would it make a difference if i wasnt here? Im ttriggered. But i want to keep my streak so I draw. They’re all so “disturbing” so i hide them. Even my writings. My family thinks im fine now but hey ho, no im not. I think im worse. I feel terrible and i dont even know why.I lock my door and tears start falling as i sit on the floor. *why not end it right now?* Because its prohibited, thats why. If it wasn’t, i would probably be gone. Actually thats not true. I have things to live for. * are you sure? Cmon youre better off dead. No one likes you anyways* Godd i hate my brain. Im 14. Why am i like this? I open a text from him “ did i ask you what you want to be in the future. Well, what do you wanna be?” *am i going to even live till then? I dont see my future* I reply with idk but psychology seems cool. “Hey you ok?” Asked my eldest brother as he walked in. “Yeah im fine. Obviously” *yeah obviously you gotta lie* Bless my brother. He dealt with this stuff himself. I still remember his midnight cries and no one could understand him but 13 yr old me could understand. My proudest moment is when he said “ the only person who understands is her” and he pointed at me. Just in time for another argument before bed. Im trying to explain that my mentality is messed up but he doesn’t understand. Im happy he doesn’t. I remember this one time when i explained what happens to me when they bleed and he said “ i would never do that to myself.” Well..for me its just an addiction. I close my eyes and think about how everytime, even if a little problem occurs, i think of suicide. *its because thats the best best for you.* “Urghhh brainn lemme sleep” *Youre not needed* *they hate you* *youre dumb remember* I look at the time and its already 5 am and i just realized im crying. *haha. Job well done* I roll my eyes and go to sleep. A second later my alarm rings and its 7:30. Woop i can be early for once. *or not* *whats the point of going? No one likes you there anyways. Youre dumb. Youre pretty weird* I get back in bed and go to sleep. Beep.beep.beep.8:30 *thats better* *you couldve gone later* *ah well. You’ll have a trash day anyways* I look at my arm and look at all my 15 cuts that are now just a scar. I am better than this. I can fight. These scars are with me forever and im not insecure about them because they remind me of the battle i fought and i am still fighting. Im just a 14 yr old with 32 scars all together

--update about 10 more scars otw

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i-amusemyself · 7 years

Note

All 100 Questions.

Bloody hell okay thank you!!! 😄😄😄

1. Is a kiss considered cheating?Yeah, Id say so.

2. Have you ever faked orgasm?Aint never had anyone to fake it with 😂 Ngl tho its the sort of thing id do (which is terrible i know)

3. If you could have one super power, what would it be?Mind reading.

4. Do you think youre gonna be rich in 7-8-9 years?I’d be worried if I didnt have more money than I have now, but idk.

5. Tell us some funny drunk story?Oh jeez erm, I don’t really have any 😂 My friends occasionally remind me of the time at the school christmas ball one of the business teachers turned up and I quickly ran away while aggressively whispering “oh no he knows im a lesbian, aimee told him”.

6. Why are you no longer together with your ex?We work better as friends, its less stressful.

7. If you had to choose one way to die what would it be?See I’m really torn with this question. Part of me thinks itd be nice just to go in my sleep, with a heart attack or something. Its quick and painless you know.But equally I wonder if it would be better to maybe, like, have something where I knew I was gonna die. Because then I’d have time to try and do everything on my bucket list and say goodbye to everyone. Also maybe at that point I’d welcome death lmao.

8. What are your current goals?Idk? Im waiting on A level results which I really hope I’ve done well in.I hope to make lots of new friends at uni and learn how to look after myself quickly I guess. I dont know.

9. Do you like someone?I like a lot of people 😆

10. Who was the last person to disappoint you?Im really not sure??? There arent many people I expect anything from and even then my standards are pretty low. So like, I dont really get disappointed by people, only occasionally by situations.

11. Do you like your body?I could hate it a lot more, but I wouldnt say I’m happy with my body or general appearance. I struggle a lot with my features and my weight and the scars I have (which is ridiculous but thats what mental illness is)

12. Can you keep a diet?I mean if I wasnt on the diet im on rn (with lots of restrictions) id probs be in hospital 😂

13. If the whole world was listening to you right now, what would you say?Honestly id pass out under the pressure of it 😂 idk, id tell them all to take a chill pill but no one would listen.

14. Do you work?Nah, i had 3 jobs at once last yeah but now I’ve ended up with none.

15. If you could choose only one food to eat for the rest of your life what would it be?Either garlic bread or chocolate I cant decide!

16. Would you get a tattoo?I’m v much planning on getting one in the near future so yh!!

17. Something you dont mind spending all your money on?Plane tickets.

18. Can you drive?Yeah! I havent driven since I passed my test, but hopefully I havent forgotten how to that quickly!

19. When was the last time someone told you youre beautiful?…I cant remember. Thats depressing (not that I blame them).

20. What was the last thing you cried for?Argh I have no idea why I was crying, my brain just wasnt doing its job so everything made me stressed and sad.

21. Do you keep a journal?I keep a blog for diary posts but besides that nah

22. Is life fun?If you allow it to be, yeah

23. Is farting in front of people irrelevant?Tf is that supposed to mean? I guess if you know the person well it is.

24. Whats your dream car?I dont know about Dream Car, id have to research it loads to decide what my absolute fave it. Although rn I’d really love a ‘67 VW beetle bc theyre small and cheap on insurance 😂

25. Are grades in school important?My own grades are super important to me, (to the point its probably unhealthy) but in terms of how the people around me do, it doesnt really matter to me. I mean, I want everyone to do well, but I dont judge people based on it.

26. Describe your crush.She’s funny and all around awesome and interesting and good at deep convos and beautiful and way out of my league.

27. What was the last book/movie that really impressed you?The last one I read called The Bell Jar. It was unlike anything I’ve ever read and made me think about a lot of things. Also I related a lot with the main character.

28. What was your last lie?Eh, probably “im fine”.

29. Dumbest lie you ever told?Idk?? I only keep track of the good lies 😉

30. Is crying in front of people embarrasing?It shouldnt be but yeah, I try my best not to.

31. Something you did and are proud of?Umm, idk im p proud of playing basketball and representing my region/training with england. But i quit that so 👏 dicks out for my regrettable decisions 👏

32. Whats your favourite cocktail?Never had one

33. Something you are good at?Annoying people and being clingy 😂 also maths ig

34. Do you like small kids?It depends on the child, the day of the week, the lunar cycle, my menstrual cycle, how hungry I am…Yh legit sometimes I hate them sometimes I love them.

35. How are you feeling right now?Great omg I just got my best friend to watch mamma mia and now shes high on life next to me.

36. What would you name your daughter/son?🤐 there are a couple of names for girls I like and like 2 boys names? But i dont wanna say bc theyre embarrasing.

37. What do you need to be happy?Good company, good food and possibly music.

38. Is there someone you want to punch in the face right now?Theres always at least 3 people I would love to punch 😂

39. What was the last gift you recieved?My best friend got me a necklace and I almost cried its so beautiful

40. What was the last gift you gave?The gift of my company @only-slightly-dangerous 😉😉😉

41. What was the last concert you went to?I went to to see Amber Run in february

42. Favourite place to shop at?Um, as in shop? A place called blue banana probs (england’s hot topic smh)

43. Who inspires you?Kaitlyn Alexander bc they helped me to understand who I am and how I feel and to be loud and proud about it.And Luke Cutforth bc he’s so open about his mental health and struggles with self harm but hes so happy now.

44. How old were you when you first got drunk?18 lmao

45. How old were you when you first got high?It aint happened yet (and i dont really want it to)

46. How old were you when you first had sex?It aint happened yet smh

47. When was your first kiss?As far as im concerned never

48. Something you want to do until the end this year?What….does this mean….? Idk???

49. Is there something in the past you wish you hadnt done?It’s more stuff I wish I had done tbh. I suppose I said things I shouldnt have or got too involved in drama, but you kinda need all that secondary school shit to learn from it

50. Post a selfie.Lmao nah fam

51. Who are you most comfortable around?My best friend by a mile. Privacy who?

52. Name one thing that terrifies you.Abandonment without explanation.

53. What kind of books do you read?Anything non fiction about medicine/being a doctor/disease/psycopaths.Besides that whatever has been recommended.

54. What would you tell your 12 y/o self?1. Youre gay2. You and I both know you arent joking about being “a dude trapped in a girls body” stop laughing it off and confront it.3. Stand up for yourself.4. Chill out.5. Laugh a lot more omg

55. What is your favourite flower?It’s between petunias and roses

56. Any bad habits you have?Not answering peoples messages unless theyre Certain Person A or Certain Person B.

57. What kind of people are you attracted to?Ones that are out of my league and could kick my ass apparently. Also ones that are kind, listen and think a lot I guess

58. What was the last thing you cried for?Already answered

59. Is there something you dont eat? A food that truly disgusts you?I dont eat loads of stuff bc my guts hate me 😂 but besides all that I’m actually the worlds least picky eater. The only thing I dont like is raw tomato. Thats it.

60. Are you in love?I wish

61. Something you find romantic?All the clichés ngl 😂 just anything that says “i love you” or “i was thinking about you” really

62. How long was your longest relationship?Like 4 months? Barely long term.

63. What are 3 things that irritate you about the same sex?Oh jeez i hate these theyre so stereotype-y1. Bitching2. Not supporting each other3. ….?

64. What are 3 things that irritate you about the opposite sex?1. Not supporting each other2. Massive egos3. Yelling

65. What are you saving money for?Uni so I dont starve to death!

66. How would you describe your bad side?Hmm, idk, it depends what someone did to get on my bad side. I’d say stubborn, bitter and angry tho usually.

67. Are you actually a good person? Why?I could be wrong but I think so long as someone has morally good intentions they are usually a good person, whether they always succeed or not. So yeah, I like to think I am.

68. What are you living for?My friends and the hope I have for my future.

69. Have you ever done anything illegal?Piracy? Thats it.

70. Do you like your money?….did I type this question wrong or??

71. Have you ever made someone feel bad about themselves intentionally?Okay, the honest answer? Yeah. When I was a lot younger and less mature and someone said something that hurt me, I tried to retaliate with equally hurtful comments. I like to think I wouldnt do that now.

72. Ever sent nudes?Lol no

73. Have you ever cheated on someone?Hell no

74. Favourite candy?All candy hates me 😂

75. Is there a blog you visit everyday or almost every day? Tag them.Yeah @oneshappyplace knows I regularly spam her with notes in search or Quality Memes (im so sorry)

76. Do you play any computer games? Whats ur fave?Nah, as if I have time 😂

77. Favourite TV series?Argh I canny choose? I love the IT Crowd, I love supernatural, I love Sherlock, I love in the flesh…

78. Are you religious? Does God exist?I’m not religious and personally I don’t believe there’s a god or higher power but I could be wrong.

79. What was the last book you read? Did it impress you and why?The Bell Jar. See 27.

80. What do you think about vegetarians and veganism?I respect it I guess? At one point I was p much a vegetarian until I had to restrict my diet sooo. Tho I could never be one now, let alone a vegan.

81. How long have you been on tumblr?Too long 😂😂😂 Like 3 or 4 years?

82. Do you like chinese food?Love it!

83. McDonalds or Subway?(Never been to subway so) McDonalds.

84. Vodka or Whisky?(Never had whisky so) Vodka.

85. Alcohol or Drugs?(Never had drugs so) Alcohol.

86. Ever been out of your country?I’m currently in the USA so yeah 😂

87. Meaning behind your blog name?It’s p self explanatory and also v true

88. What are you scared of?Abandonment, deep water, knives, toys with battery packs.

89. Last time you were insulted?Ugh, probs like when I met up with a load of school friends for our leaver’s ball.

90. Most traumatic experience?I’d rather not answer that lmao (plus itd take a long time to type)

91. Perfect date idea?Chilling and listening to each other’s favourite songs while coexisting and eating fast food 😂 that or ikea ngl

92. Favourite app on your phone?Tumblr. Even though I hate it, it also keeps me sane.

93. What colour are the walls in your room?White and blue.

94. Do you watch youtube? Who is your favourite youtuber?I love so many youtubers omg. Lukeisnotsexy, mileschronicles, realisticallysaying and filthy frank are faves

95. Share your favourite quote.Pick your fights.

96. What is the meaning of life?To live life to the fullest so youre happy and have minimal regrets. Also to be kind and helpful so even if you dont change the world you might help someone else to.

97. Do you like horror movies?I think….? But I’m not good at watching them alone 😂

98. Have you ever made your mum cry? What happened?Eh…again, would rather not answer (we got some nice supressed memories here)

99. Do you feel lucky or special in any way?I’m still totally in awe of how lucky I am to have met my best friend from 3000 miles away. Like, the probability of it was so so slim and yet here we are.

100. Can you keep a secret?I think so yh! It’s something that I consider super important.

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