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waterparksdrama · 17 days

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hi there!! i'm newer to the realm of waterparks stuff (only really got into them during greatest hits) and based on the response to ip2 i guess i didn't realize a lot of people did NOT like ip?

when i listened to ip it def felt a bit incomplete/not as strong as their other stuff thematically or lyrically, so with ip2 i was hoping for a completion to the current 'story'. i'm anticipating that ip2 is just a wrap-up, and afterwards they'll continue with their alphabetical titles.

as someone who is more removed from waterparks fan spaces, i'm wondering what do you/other fans generally dislike (or like) about ip & how it compares to other albums? what kind of things are you hoping for future productions? i'm just interested to know! :)

i think a lot of the qualms older fans have with ip is that it’s so consumed by its insane lore that it barely makes sense just even with the first half of the album. it’s all tell but no show with shoehorned references to religion and “hypersexual” lyrics you could probably find on pop radio. not to mention the whole lamenting over fame thing again when he’s not even that famous he just has insane fans who track him online as much as he tracks them.

it’s like. the album isn’t as groundbreaking as awsten thinks lyrically and musically. the way he writes is so blunt sometimes they sound more like tweets than lyrics and sometimes blunt lyrics can work but he is definitely not someone that pulls off the sort of sardonic flat delivery that straightforward lyricists usually have when awsten is over-enunciating each word at max volume. and besides each song instrumentally just sounds like a parx song produced by zakk cervini; like you hear all these big elements that they love putting behind awsten’s overprocessed voice and it’s not really that interesting a lot of the time because of how expected it is from years of listening. and even when they do have more interesting songs like ritual, real super dark, or a night out on earth, they just kinda come off as toned down songs from greatest hits.

okay so maybe to understand where i’m coming from, i should probably make my comparisons of ip to double dare and entertainment. both dd and ent, while maybe a little less instrumentally experimental than their later albums, feel a lot more precise with their lyricism. dd establishes a lot of the themes parx repeat over the years with lyrics about falling in and out of love and obsession and learning the faults of the music industry firsthand. entertainment describes the on and off again feeling of a doomed relationship. both albums use unique imagery supported by a delivery that lets the listener pick up on those ideas (like how i can’t say jacket pocket without sounding like awsten in it follows). everything sounds more intentional than awsten just wailing about how he can’t fuck someone on ip.

my hope for other albums? awsten gets something different to write about. or at least doesn’t repeat the same 5 topics like a broken record or at least find something new to say about these things other than another song about “ugh my fans hate me ugh i hate the music industry im in love with this person actually no im not i lied”. also i think he needs to work with new producers instead of with new writers. i don’t need waterparks to sound like a one direction knockoff i want them to sound like a xiu xiu knockoff (if you can even imagine that). i think vincente void would be a cool producer for parx and id hope he’d lead them in less of the pop tryhard route they’ve been going and more towards something more unique - iz

#anyway this was a ramble and a half but if you want my review of ip itself you should check our ‘track by track’ tag

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randombubblegum · 2 years

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this might be kind of a stretch buuut possible girl awtto song?

https://youtu.be/mPgJTNoUFuk

idk i just think it kinda fits bc they snuck out of the mcr show together...

plus ive always liked the idea of this song being about two ppl being together in secret due to homophobia cause yknow... its a "victimless crime" (esp bc kesha herself is bi). and awsten and otto did grow up in texas so

and also the "ooh, I really need to know that we're cool" for obvious reasons

YESSS OOOOMGGGG……….. ok if i had known about this song when i was making the girlparx playlist i would have put it on there bc it perfectly encapsulates the “awsten getting otto to hook up with her and reveling in the feeling of getting away with something in secret” vibe

“the second time i saw you” reference to o9k imploding but awsten getting otto back anyway…. also the bra top slipping down detail just feels gay to me

SNEAKING OUT OF SHOWS TOGETHER…… HAVING AWESOME SEX IN SECRET…. the thrill with none of the stress…

just. ugh!!!! theres no proof and witness so theres no crime, i.e. awsten can have sex with otto without having to confront her own sexuality or the fear of someone knowing shes into girls (into otto), all the thrill of getting away with something and none of the hard part of changing the life you thought you were going to lead by being straight…..

but also!!!! the kind of desperate, almost pleading “we can keep this a secret, right? you wont tell anyone? this stays between us, right?” because awsten KNOWS it cant go on like this, and otto hates being a secret and hates awsten only kissing her when nobody can see and hates that awsten wont take this seriously when otto loves her and doesnt want to just be a fling……. and the “i really need to know that were cool” because awsten is FRAGILE and SCARED that shes fucking this up by getting what she wants….. and she cant lose otto not again………

UGHHH its so good. i love kesha shes so perfect for every au. i wish parx had fulfilled the only reason they existed which was to play a show with kesha. yknow what maybe in the girlparx universe they do LOL

#girlparx is MY world and i can make them play with kesha. if i want #cats my lesbianificstion beam #mail time!#awtto song readings

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thekidsarentalright · 3 years

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i think it would be rlly cool to see you analyze a song from greatest hits. maybe violet just bc of how fucked the lyrics are? or snow globe bc its so sexy! whichever one you wanna analyze man i am all ears

ooo okay because its a harder song to analyze (to me) i'm gonna do snow globe!! (and my typical disclaimer is like i don't like looking at songs from the perspective of the artist and more like its a fictional story... but for this one im breaking that rule bc awsten writes like SO insanely personally, also its under the read more so i dont clog y'alls dashes <3)

So... this snow was a little difficult to analyze! But, I think as a general overview it is safe to say this song is absolutely about fame for awsten, and how its affected him directly in recent years (which is why i can't look at this like its a story). I feel the first verse is, broadly, speaking about: ‘fans’ animosity towards him (”I was having that same old dream again / The one they finally took my head and win”), how hearing endless praise from strangers can become meaningless after a while (” ’Cause all I hear is “I love you so much” / But it starts to mean nothing...”), and simultaneously, the (seeming) self-deprecation towards the music he makes/writes (especially in the context for the hate he gets for it) with the lyrics “ I wrote down the soundtrack of giving up / And the songs go like this / On my Greatest Hits”. So, automatically, the first verse is a grab-bag of issues awsten has relating to his fame and the relationship he has with fans- you have the people who hate on everything he/parx does, the people who shower with endless, meaningless praise, and then the self-doubts that can come with having a career in music when you get critiqued and praised so endlessly no matter what you do. The pre-chorus (staring with ‘7pm, let it sink in’) is the part i was struggling with the most, but after reading genius annotations it Seems that, basically, the reference to 7pm is an allusion to ‘Saturday at 7pm’ being mentioned a lot in Fandom, and awsten basically saying in an interview that that time/day is the representation of this endless hype from fans for More, for Better from him/the band every time they move. So, this pre-chorus is essentially saying: there's that endless hype that I (awsten) can’t live up to like people want, i’m in the dark/off the deep end, I can’t live up to those expectations... and now everybody is disappointed. “Shake me up and watch me in my-” is the first reference to a snow globe, which encapsulates the overarching theme of this song: awsten feels trapped by his fame and expectations, like hes in a snow globe, being watched and shaken up forever. The chorus repeats the same themes, really, with him accounting different phrases people have likely said about him because of ‘evil things he says’. Verse 2 refers to how he’s been dead since 2016, since Double Dare came out and they got wayyyy more popular than they had ever been before- likely when that endless stream of criticism and praise and unmeetable expectations really started to kick up. Once again, the snow globe motif comes in to show that awsten feels trapped by all of this, he’s at the mercy of ‘fans’ watching his every move, at the mercy of them possibly losing interest in him (in his snow globe) and leaving him and the music he makes. And the rest of the song is more of the same, recounting the cyclical nature of being a musician in todays industry- fans having so much to say, constantly changing tastes and expectations, constantly having to top yourself as an artist and disappointing people no matter what you do, and still being dependent on those disappointed people, as your world is in their hands. It’s a damn interesting look into his psyche, honestly, and how weirdly/terribly people treat artists.

#this one was SO fun to do thank u kel #i hope its good!!! i hope u like it <3 #bc again i had a lot of fun with it i think its very sad and interesting and like #freaks rly need to shut up and leave awsten alone huh 😳#asks #doubledared #kel #analysis.txt

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foreverfangirlalways · 4 years

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“Pseudo” Boyfriends

Chapter Title: Pseudo=False

Summery: Janus asks Patton to be his fake boyfriend.

Ships: Moceit

Prompt: Fake Dating

Warning: slight freak out, PAINFULLY obvious gays

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

(This was supposed to be a oneshot for @funkyfreshfatherfigure, but then I got inspired and, well, y’all know how I am

So this is the prologue to my newest chapter fic! Here we go!)

—-

Janus was on his way to Patton’s house, and he was freaking out.

As soon as he got off the phone with his cousin, he called his best friend and asked if he could come over to talk. Of course Patton said yes, he always did.

And that is what Janus is counting on.

As soon as he made up to Pat’s apartment door, he knocked and Patton threw open the door.

“Oh come now Snakey!” Patton said with a dazzling smile. “You know you don’t have to knock!” Patton pulled Janus in and shut the door. Janus walked to the couch and sank into the fluffy blankets Patton kept there just for him.

Patton looked over and smiled. “See, told you would like the blankets! And to think you said it was a waste of money.” Patton said in a teasing tone while sitting across from him.

Janus rolled his eyes. “I complained about being cold once, and you bought five black and yellow fuzzy blankets, two snake throws, and a weighted blanket. Even you have to admit that it was a bit much.”

Patton just chuckled. “You loved it and you started coming over more, so I think that it was well worth the money. Plus,” Patton said, grabbing the frog plushie next to him, “you are a lot sweeter and more willing to share at sleepovers now.”

Janus fought a blush. He knew that Patton was referring to the time when Janus had come over to hang out, Patton fell asleep while watching the movie, and Janus had wrapped him up in blankets and cuddled him.

Janus had planned to get up and leave before Patton ever knew, but Patton woke up before him and didn’t stop talking about for weeks until Janus asked him to stop. Now Patton just offhandedly mentions it from time to time.

Deciding not to bring up that particular sleepover, Janus changed the subject.

“Goodness Pat, you still have that thing?” Janus gestured to the frog plushie, and Patton just smiled softly and squeezed the frog tighter.

“Of course I still have him! You were so sweet to have won him for me! I love Deceit, and don’t think I haven’t seen Morality peaking out from under your pillows.”

Janus did blush at that. “I have simply no idea of what you are talking about.” Janus said. He did, of course. At the same fair where Janus got Patton his frog, Patton got Janus a snake plushie. He would never admit it out loud, but Janus loves Morality. It was the first thing Patton ever gave him, and he often keeps it close to him and cuddles him when he really misses Patton or want to admit something that would ruin their friendship.

Patton grinned knowingly, but decided to spare his friend. “So, as much as I love talk to you about our friendship, you did sound a little upset over the phone. Are you ok?”

Janus immediately sobered up from his happy feelings.

“Actually Pat, I have a giant favor to ask you. You can totally say no, I will understand, I just wanted to ask.”

Patton was a little nervous, but urged Janus to continue.

“Alright, so, you know how I told you that my parents are supportive of my sexuality, but are pushy?” Patton nodded, and Janus continued.

“Well, my dad called me today and was talking about how the whole family is getting together for his 50th birthday. I had already said I would go, but he brought up bringing a Plus One. He said, and I quote, “don’t worry if you don’t have anyone to bring, your pops thinks he has a great potential match for you.””

Patton giggled. Janus’s last ‘great potential match’ ended up being one of Janus’s ex’s from when he was still closeted. Patton thought it was hilarious, but Janus found it significantly less funny.

“Yeah, we know how that went last time, so I told my dad that I already have a boyfriend.” Patton raised an eyebrow, and is pretty sure that he knows where this is going.

“My dad immediately got excited and started talking about how I have to bring him and the family meet him and all that. Then he asked for the name.”

Patton looked at Janus with a knowing smile. “You panicked and said my name, didn’t you?”

Janus buried himself into his blankets more.

“Maybe. He now wants to meet you and all that jazz. I understand that you don’t want to, but I thought I would at least tell you. I-“

“Janus, you know me. We are already super close and people mistake us for a couple all the time. I am fine with pretending to be your boyfriend. To make your dad happy, of course.”

Janus smiled, and let out a breath he had been holding. “Oh, thank goodness. Because I had already told him that you are going.”

“Why you snake!” Patton screeched and jumped onto Janus. Janus, already used to Patton’s mannerisms, simply caught him and hugged him tightly.

Patton smiled at the hug, instantly forgiving Janus of everything. He still wants to tease him though. “Don’t think you can get out of this that easily, Snakey!” Patton said while gripping Janus tightly.

“I would never Froggie.” Janus whispered to Pat. Patton looked delighted at the use of the nickname. He then simply flipped around, sat in Janus’s lap, and turned out the TV. Janus wrapped them in blankets while Patton chose a show.

“So,” Patton said after a few minutes’ “when are we headed to your parents place?”

“Tomorrow night, and we will be there for three days. If that is ok.” Patton nodded, and then curled into Janus.

“That sounds fun. I can’t wait to be your boyfriend.” Patton said. “Fake, Of course,” he added.

Janus just laughed and squeezed Pat. “Totally. I can’t wait to fake date you!”

Both boys laughed, but they were both also wishing that the other had true feelings. They both wished that this was for real.

‘And maybe it can be...’ Patton and Janus thought, planning to make the most of the opportunity that has show up.

‘I will get him to love me like I love him by the end of this trip.’

---

Gen Taglist-

@dragonwithproblems

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@thefingergunsgirl

@kawaiikat54

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@ravenivy2079

@rainbowemonightmare

@ladyartemisia28

@moose-boi

@resident-trash-goblin

@parx-boiiz

@ninathepancake

@kuroyurishion

#sanders sides #Moceit #fake dating #new chapter fic #flirting #oblivious gays #'Pseudo' Boyfriends

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reeses-picks · 5 years

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Ariana Grande’s thank u, next is a formidable display of self

In many ways, thank u, next feels like a sequel to its predecessor, but where Sweetener was a study in optimism and musical daring, thank u, next is a formidable display of self, centering on Ariana Grande the personality and the artist, marked by not only her contradictions but also her musical sensibilities. One is left with an admiration for her self-assuredness amidst such harrowing times.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ☆ - a Reese’s Pick

The universe has a cruel way of functioning: five and a half months ago, Ariana Grande was coasting on the highs of the release of her fourth record, Sweetener, and her whirlwind engagement with comedian Pete Davidson, following her exit from a “toxic” relationship with Mac Miller. Sweetener itself, which contains 2018’s best song, was a masterful display of relentless optimism and musical daring, featuring a smile that never slips and some of Grande’s career-best work (with help from Pharrell, who was perhaps cleaning out his hard drive).

In the next two months, that would all change: Miller would die of substance abuse in September, and Grande and Davidson would dissolve their engagement the following month. Both men are haunting presences on thank u, next, Grande’s new album, whose title track, an ultimate ode to self-love, has already been considered mythic. In many ways, thank u, next feels like a sequel to its predecessor, but where Sweetener was relentlessly optimistic in its subject matter and remarkably audacious in its production, thank u, next is a formidable display of self in both senses. The record puts her front and center: a woman of human contradictions and precocious musical sensibilities, buttressed by fellow musical talents with a knack for capturing the times.

Not only is thank u, next an account of the next chapter of Grande’s life, but it also feels like a logical next step musically: after having help exploring the various facets of her voice (and, by extension, herself), she – still a relative novelty among her competition – is making her own Ariana Grande record, bearing a writing credit on every one of the record’s 12 tracks, on which she is also credited as an executive and vocal producer. It is her personality that the record orbits around, which somewhat accounts for the staggering thematic and tonal differences between some adjacent tracks: she confesses to constantly wanting companionship (“needy”) but later asks her beau for some space (“NASA”); she verges on manipulative on one track (“make up”) but earnestly apologizes on the next (“ghostin”); the vulnerable tone of the title track stands in stark contrast to the flippancy of “break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored”. These conflicting traits aren’t particularly endearing, but their appearance on the album humanizes the woman behind them, peeling back the curtain a bit, if only briefly.

In Grande’s company are some of her closest friends and most longtime collaborators, namely songwriters Victoria Monét and Tayla Parx, producer Tommy Brown, and Max Martin et al., who turn Grande’s ideas into clever turns of phrase and accompany them with up-to-date melodies. Standing next to Pharrell creations on Sweetener, the Max Martin half of that record always felt sort of inferior, never as risky or as smart as its counterpart, and while his tracks on thank u, next aren’t much different, the slick productions on highlights “bloodline” (brass section!) and “bad idea” (that outro!) are a reminder that we may yet see the end of Martin. Brown and Monét, who orchestrated some of Grande’s best songs (“Honeymoon Avenue”, “Moonlight”, “Be Alright” etc.), are instrumental in the making of thank u, next, making strange but intriguing wordplay in “NASA” and “make up” and turning therapeutic acceptance into chart-topper in “thank u, next”. Andrew “Pop” Wansel, who wrote Nicki Minaj’s stunning “The Crying Game”, helps pen the defiant thesis of Grande’s present M.O. (“fake smile”) and articulates falling in love with the idea of a person with equal parts grace and savagery (“in my head”).

Despite this number of people working on this album, thank u, next is easily Grande’s most sonically cohesive and consistent full-length effort. The album frequently toggles between tempos, temperaments, and musical schools of thought, but its soundscape is decidedly and reliably current with trap at the center, sprinkled with instantly recognizable references (“Highlight of my life, like that Fenty Beauty kit”) and Instagram-worthy lines (“You could say ‘I love you’ through the phone tonight”). This speaks to Grande and her team’s ability to capture the zeitgeist, in ways that most of today’s female pop frontrunners cannot. Also contributing to the of-the-moment nature of thank u, next is the comfort with which Grande moves between various vocal modes and ways of delivery, which she inherits from Sweetener and further hones on this record. Her usual acrobatics can be found on “imagine” and “fake smile”, but most of her performances on thank u, next feature her voice coasting lightly just above the production, a sort of weightlessness achievable only by an artist who, in her words, no longer has much to be afraid of. What truly places her in the new pop landscape, however, is her proficiency in styles previously inaccessible to vocalists of her ability, particularly rap, her capability of which she showed tentatively on some Sweetener cuts and which she shows with aplomb here. “7 rings” sounds like a rap song with a featured vocalist, Grande’s performance immediately drawing comparisons to Soulja Boy and Princess Nokia (rousing plagiarism accusations from them as well). Throwback or theft, that her rap is so convincing is a testament to her abilities. Elsewhere, “fake smile” uses the same sample as Wu-Tang Clan’s “Tearz” – Wendy Rene’s “After Laughter (Comes Tears)” – to preface a personal but presently universal refusal to hide one’s unhappiness.

Unsurprisingly, the cuts that feel the most weightless end up being the most harrowing. “needy” sounds almost like it’s designed to be fleeting. Done and dusted before the three-minute mark, the album’s second track is, in many ways, a micro-transgression unto itself: it’s a forthright admission of a want for emotional connection that society considers damning, but it argues that to criticize that craving would be a self-own (“I know how good it feels to be needed”); not least of all, it knows its job and that it’s achieved its objective, so it does away with the final third of the song entirely. Still, nothing on this record beats “ghostin”, where it feels something has clicked in Grande’s head. To an extent, “ghostin” is the converse to “needy”: “ghostin” almost purposely crawls through its 4 minutes and 31 seconds, and it seems designed to linger. In a particularly Swiftian move, the Mac Miller sample at the beginning of the track tells you all you need to know. With not so many words, Grande begins to break down her feelings of guilt for her still harboring feelings for another one and at one point even suggests feigning ignorance, which we all know now is impossible. The song’s emotional climax comes at the final minute, where words are long forgotten and we are left with the auditory equivalent of a bed of clouds that keeps ascending until it disperses, as if mirroring Grande’s own moment of catharsis.

Wrapping up thank u, next is the cheekily, instantly memorably titled “break up with your girlfriend, i'm bored”, whose position on the album closely mirrors that of “Formation” on Lemonade. But rather than taking on any social commentary, the former offers Grande’s own commentary on the preceding chapter of her life and a window into her humor, and might even serve as more fitting a conclusion to the record than the title track would. It is rather unexpected that after such a harrowing time in her life, she would be eager to jump right back into the game (with such a dangerous premise at that), but upon another look, the track’s appearance reveals Grande as remarkably self-assured, confident that she will never fall down such a spiral again – or maybe she will, sad as that sounds. Nevertheless, there’s not much she’s afraid of anymore.

#ariana grande #thank u next #7 rings #buwygib #buwygfib #sweetener #Yours Truly #Dangerous woman #reese's picks #music review #music reccs #album review

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jodiwalker · 6 years

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Will I Ever Stop Being Emotional Over Ariana Grande's "thank u, next"? Seems Unlikely.

You can go ahead and tuck all your favorite diss tracks into whatever dusty receptacle holds the VHS tapes, socialized patriarchy, and Nokia phone chargers down in your basement. Because in this season of thanksgiving, Ariana Grande has given us something better than a coy, petty break-up anthem: in “thank u, next” we have been gifted with an enlightened bop of gratitude.

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As it seems to so often with people younger and wealthier than me, this all started with a tweet. Or rather, with a Saturday Night Live spot following the not-exactly-shocking dissolution of Ariana and Pete Davidson's engagement.

A few weeks after the breakup was made public, Davidson jokingly asked on an SNL promo if musical guest Maggie Rogers might like to marry him. She said no; he snarked, "0 for 3." Ariana then tweeted, "for somebody who claims to hate relevancy u sure love clinging to it huh"; deleted it. Tweeted "tag yourself I'm Maggie"; hilarious; deleted it. Tweeted the now iconic “thank u, next”; seemingly once again regretted her hasty retort; deleted it.

These are the sassy comebacks you might expect from a young pop star annoyed with her ex. But given the time and artistic space to elaborate, the title track from Ariana’s next project, “thank u, next”, has turned out to offer something much more unique. This is no clap-back — this is Ariana's round of applause for herself.

Ariana hasn’t just given us a new kind of diss track, she’s given us a new kind of love song: a romantic tribute to self-love (and no, I don’t mean masturbation, mostly because that is its own genre altogether). "Thank u, next" also happens to feature some of Ariana's best annunciation yet, I think, because it's important to her that this time, we hear every word…

Thought I'd end up with Sean

But he wasn't a match

Wrote some songs about Ricky

Now I listen and laugh

Even almost got married

And for Pete, I'm so thankful

Wish I could say, "Thank you" to Malcolm

'Cause he was an angel

“Thank u, next” doesn't just reference a few of Ariana Grande's ex-boyfriends by name — it does so in the first verse. Four boyfriends; four breakups; four lessons learned in the painful, patient reality of love. There is nothing coy about this break-up ballad, because as Ariana seems to be telling us that she's learned: there is nothing coy about love, at least not real, adult love. And in "thank u, next" Ariana shows herself to be a grown ass woman.

Listening to this song, I had no idea how it emotional it would make me. Not only witnessing someone's emotional growth, but having them invite you along for the journey in real time through their art? Oh yeah, I cried. Sure, I cried. Because I feel proud of her, and I feel proud of myself, and for anyone who's done the difficult work of moving on. A song did that.

Love is a thrill unique to each relationship that music so often attempts to universalize, but heartbreak — baby, that's so run of the mill, it takes a mere few words to relate to heartbreak. It is a deep, deep artistic well. Breakups are what made Adele an icon, and what Taylor Swift goes back to again and again. And there's still plenty of room for that in music because just as the pain of a breakup is universal, it is also timeless.

But what comes after heartbreak? Well, ideally: growth. The singularity of this track’s empowering message is what makes it so novel: the song isn’t about them. “Thank u, next” is about Ariana.

I know they say I move on too fast

But this one gon' last

'Cause her name is Ari

And I'm so good with that

If “thank u, next” dismisses anything, it's not Ariana's past relationships, which she clearly states have imprinted on her for better and worse. But of the outsider's notion that these relationships, in their youthful magnitude, were mistakes. Just because something is ill-advised does not make it a mistake. It may mean make you immature, or willfully ignorant, or far too patient — but it doesn't make you wrong.

The outside world might see Ariana Grande as someone who has had a lot of boyfriends, and therefore, made a lot of mistakes. But if the Bachelor franchise has taught me anything [ed. note: it has not!], there are those who see themselves as people with "a lot of love to give" and there are those who...would never even consider using a phrase like that because they have just your average one-to-two-serious-relationships amount of love to give.

She taught me love

She taught me patience

How she handles pain

That shit's amazing

I've loved and I've lost

But that's not what I see

'Cause look what I've found

Ain't no need for searching, and for that, I say…

Thank you, next

Perhaps Ariana has more love to give than most, but "thank u, next" assures us that she's taking on the emotional responsibility of her own mental well-being. We stan a self-reflective pop princess.

Truth reveals itself with time alone, and Ari is getting there. And she's taking us with her in such a startlingly joyful way. Look no further than her debut performance of “thank u, next” on Ellen to understand that this song about breakups and pain and learning is still an undeniable celebration.

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Before "thank u, next" I'd only ever been an Ariana Grande fan from afar. But a joyful anthem about moving on, coupled with First Wives Club cosplay? I now understand that she is a businesswoman, an artist, a skilled musician, and a subtle comedian all wrapped up in a Limited Too trench coat.

One day I'll walk down the aisle

Holding hands with my mama

I'll be thanking my dad

'Cause she grew from the drama

Only wanna do it once, real bad

Gon' make that shit last

God forbid something happens

Least this song is a smash

With the humanizing stumble, the inescapable swell of emotion, and her friends, frequent collaborators and "thank u, next" cowriters Victoria Monét and Tayla Parx supporting spunkily be her side, it is an imperfectly perfect performance.

It would be easy to look at this song and the Ariana/Pete breakup, and say: Ah, yes it was Ari who had the Big Dick Energy all along. But I don't think that's true. BDE, for all its silliness, is defined by exuding an effortless satisfaction with oneself. What Ariana is saying in "thank u, next," and what she's often shown through the vulnerability and candor of her public-facing platforms like Twitter is:

This. shit. takes. effort.

Surely this "thank you, next" sentiment will be swiftly co-opted into funny memes (check), a Whopper commercial, and a little further down the road, a 2020 Presidential campaign. And that's fine. It's pretty broad—and not at all terrible—advice when taken out of context.

But in context, Ariana's "thank u, next" is not a simplistic dismissal of exes, nor a thoughtless platitude about moving on. It's about unloading the angry burdens of our past to pave a way forward with gratitude and graciousness. Even if Ariana, that little minx, did drop her record-breaking banger 30 minutes before Saturday's East Coast airing of SNL…

Hey, if Ariana has taught us anything [ed. note: she has!], it's that there's no reason self-improvement can't be productive and at least a little bit of a smash at the same time. As I think the saying goes: Revenge is a dish best served smokin' hot, in a white pantsuit, serving transcendent emotional realness.

This article originally appeared in the These Are the Best Things newsletter on Substack. Get more TATBT articles directly to your inbox by subscribing below!

#thank u next #ariana grande #ariana #sweetener #pete davidson #breakup #Arianator

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

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waterparksdrama · 10 months

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I’m begging for a Fandom track by track pls

ok ok i've been delaying it for a while so why not for you anon. i have a lot of personal opinions about this one so it's probably gonna be way more biased than other track by tracks lol

cherry red - an intro that gives off this sort of dreamy epic 80s vibe if you weren't paying attention to the lyrics much. he uses a lot of color imagery entwined with the happenings of their relationship to lament it at this point and begin this cycle between mourning the relationship and getting caught up with living with being perceived by the public eye all during this. it's a good intro and i like the instrumentals - 8/10

watch what happens next - see this is one of those songs i'd like better as a song if the message didn't age badly and didn't make cringe really hard. the first lines already Aged. a criticism of fan consumption of their music and their place in the scene as rockers. blah blah blah awsten wants money and doesn't like the need for the rock scene to undersell themselves for approval but also i think some of your expensive clothes are ugly as shit awsten so what now. not to mention the poorly aged second verse about hiphop and genre mixing (specifically with a jealous dig at old town road) considering the other factors associated with hip hop and how the soundcloud emo rap scene of the time slowly evolved into the "emo revival" we see today that bolstered parx's current relevancy tbh (they opened for my chem and are playing wwwy fest this year hello). but anyways as a song it's fine; the sassy guitars pull more punches than the lyrics end up doing and maybe i'm proving the point of the lyrics even if they're poorly aged but god shut up sometimes awsten - 5/10

dream boy - this is legitimately the only fandom song i can listen to regularly LMAOOO. i heard this in public before because they put this on radio disney it was terrifying. anyways back to the song. it's a poppy song about fan expectations and how awsten exists differently in fans' heads than in reality. i think this is one of the few songs that i think hit the mark of satirizing fans completely bc. i won't lie i do this completely whoops (i'm an rpf writer and run this blog what else do you expect of me). i don't think some fans realize the irony of using this song against each other whenever some awsten related drama comes up considering they usually have an even more warped view of him but. i digress. also justice for glitter times your pre chorus will forever live on here... - 8/10

easy to hate - another song about the breakup hence all the color imagery and apparently originally a friendly reminder song. not much to note here; it's a catchy little song that plays with some of the elements he used to write about ciara in the past to get this anti love song. i guess you could argue the chorus could also apply to parasocial relations hence the music video and everything but yeah. fine song. intro synths remind me of an old ringtone. - 7/10

high definition - i get the ode to imogen heap's hide and seek with this song and i can appreciate that but for me it's just so...eh. lyrically it's a song that follows awsten's struggles with trying to find love in a post-ciara world. there's some interesting lines here and there but nothing truly hits for me and sometimes i think about the lyric "now i'm canceled, i'm whatever" at random times and cringe.

not to mention the extreme cringe i get from what he said about the song in the rocksound track by track:

There’s a song that’s all, ‘Back then hoes didn’t want me, now I’m hot hoes all on me’ [Mike Jones’ ‘Back Then’] – but not in like a bragalicious way. It’s an, ‘I’m like really lonely, I hate all of this’, kind of way. It’s like that.

why. you do not have hoes. shut up. get ready for more of awsten's white ass making cringey rap references bc there's one later on none of us are gonna like. i think i have personal beef with this song bc i had a sign for wwdff at my show, he looked at it, and then he did this in complete and nothing else. - 4/10

telephone - a love song (about some girl he never talked to at a target). considering he has all this written about a person he made up traits in his mind, it makes sense why all the true love songs by parx are probably just about the concepts of people that aren't technically real if you think about it. musically, its piano riffs takes its cues from 60's pop before evolving into this sparkly fun chorus. tbh it's just fine to me and i used to think the obsessive love song thing about a stranger was weird but now i've written 10x more messed up fanfic about him so i can't even judge that too hard. blah blah can also tie into themes of fan perception and falling in love with a concept once again yeah i think it's just a fine song. i just like when otto says the ending at live shows. - 6/10

group chat - this isn't even a fuckin song. and according to the genius lyrics page this is what it means:

He strongly implies that the song is about fake friendships between famous figures, where people may often pose as friends purely for the sake of sharing it online. This phenomenon that has grown more rampant in the modern world as those in the public eye partake in this practice as a means of boosting popularity on social media. This also occurs within the music industry itself, when companies chose to featuring artists purely to maximize the buzz surrounding the song.

i'm just more focused on the fact that this is the first time otto's been mentioned by name in the parx discography and it wasn't even by awsten. isn't that fucked up. - n/a (not a fuckin song)

turbulent - i can distinctly remember my first time listening to this with my friend after choir class and we both came to the same conclusion: the song was stupid except for the ending when he stopped singing. this is still how i feel about the song. that opening line is so goddamn stupid and i still don't think patrick stump knows he's in this song or who waterparks is. did you know if ciara didn't like fall out boy as much he probably would've compared himself to ryan ross and brendon urie? nightmare. this is one of the songs i pit to at live shows because when you pit, you don't actually listen to the song. it has better energy live than it does recorded but i'm not rating the live version though. i think the production is much cooler than literally anything else in this stupid song with it's breakcore beats and random dogs - 5/10

never bloom again - remember when awsten teased this song for years saying this song would be the one making people cry and now years later no one talks about it that much. "all the girls in los angeles look like you from a distance", honey you date the same blonde clone with different mental illnesses every time i don't know why you're so surprised at this. i think there are some interesting lines here and there, i just feel like its strengths are staying simple in its verses because the chorus feels kinda corny with the extra stuff on top of everything because of that cervini style of big production. - 5/10

i miss having sex but at least i don't wanna die anymore - i miss when this title leaked and we thought this was fake. i hate this song and everything it stands for i'll just say it. the true beginning of awsten using annoying blunt lyrics out of fear of being misinterpreted because media literacy in most places has gone downhill and it's supposed to be honest by making fun of what fans want of him as well as airing out his relationship in a way. god he sounds so annoying in here and i get that's supposed to be the point but goddddddd. musically it's just some pop folk song but none of you care about that i know you want to know the other stuff. this song is probably the start to the end with it going viral on tiktok and beginning the divide between fans that became fans through the scene and fans that found them through tiktok. i fucking hate this song and its impact on parx today and the fact that it's their most popular song and a mainstay of the setlist will forever make me bitter because they have so many better songs and also christmas is more popular on tiktok and he still refuses to play it because he is a pussy - 0/10

war crimes - ok back to songs i can stomach. a driving song about awsten dealing with his peers in the scene and his isolation with his real friends being back home in texas while he moved to la. along with this, he still has to balance his feelings with the breakup all while being perceived by the public. it mostly deals with awsten truly having to become independent of all of these things and stand up for himself (no i still don't know who the coke thing is about there's too many people). musically, it shifts a lot of different ways from the light chorus to the more brooding verses. good song. - 7/10

[reboot] - he's white boy rapping again. this is never a good thing. it's literally just a breakup song again shocker. throws a lot of digs at ciara with wordplay that i can't really hear unless i read the lyrics because it sounds he's scatting. i just remember this song bc i remember he made a whole deal about how he was trying to avoid being misogynistic on this album bc of the subject matter (specifically calling girls a bitch) and then he used the chew toy metaphor to indirectly call her a bitch anyways. yeah. i think some parts of the production are interesting specifically the stuttering halts in the second verse but other than that. whatever. - 3/10

worst - i remember when the original demo leaked because it was around the same time of the felony steve mixtape. it was a weird time. has some of the Lyrics of All Time and i mean this in a bad way. remember when i said awsten makes some cringy rap references this is one of the ones i mean:

why. why. why. this is not a line that works when you're white. i think the chorus in the album version sounds more interesting at least production wise. does that mean it's a good song? no. this is a song that makes me hold the bridge of my nose and go "oh god why this is clearly something you wrote in the moment" - 4/10

zone out - a chiptune reprise of the dream boy chorus. awsten says that putting it at this point in the album is meant to come off sarcastic, but to me i feel like it sounds more defeated than anything. more of a "what now?" moment. i like it, sue me. - 6/10

i felt younger when we met - the beginning and ending to the cycle of his relationship with ciara and his fans watching. here, he mourns the things he misses about her and the things he did for her. it's the emotional core of the album combining the heavy electronics strung throughout the album with the big guitar led chorus leading the album back to the beginning because things just don't stop at that point. it's a great closer that does its job of being the emotional crux of the album of losing someone you end up making up and missing over and over - 8/10

i'll be honest with you i haven't listened to fandom in full since it actually leaked in 2019. i brushed off the album at the time because me and my friends had our own little drama with awsten (and his la friends who aren't even his friends anymore ironically) because he was tiring. trying to preach ideas and people that would do the same things he hated because he was away from his real friends back home. i was tired of what he was trying to come off as.

nowadays i'm still tired of him sometimes, but i think his time offline has made the idea of him more palatable; when he's not trying to quip with the sardonic teens that make up his fans today, it's easier to remember him as a person. when he's not online, he's probably buying groceries or having lunch with a friend, working and writing music in his apartment or a studio.

it begs the question on an album named fandom (that doesn't call out its fanbase nearly as much as deal with the emotional turmoil of a breakup) on how we perceive each other and how that can come crumbling down when reality hits. i can try and compartmentalize awsten the ideal and awsten the reality in my head, but do most people even realize that divide should be there?

it's probably the thing to comment on considering the existence of this blog, the way it lives in surveillance from both fans and the band + associates themselves because we say things that aren't nice but are true or just straight up fuck around for fun. the fourth wall between fans and creators grows more blurred and blurred with each day. there's something to comment on this about cycles of hypocrisy from everyone on all sides but i'll leave it at this: whatever we do on here, whether make a joke or point, becomes some fodder for spectacle in the same way awsten posts on any of his accounts. it's a cycle.

i won't lie, i still think this album sucks. most of the songs just don't hit the mark for me or are just straight up embarrassing and half the time i want to shake awsten and tell him “you are not kanye west, you are a bitch ass white boy from cypress”. however as an album, it does feel like one big piece all puzzled in together. it loops from beginning to end.

and the cycle keeps going on and on..... - iz

#i can't promise most of this makes sense but. it's here #track by track

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randombubblegum · 2 years

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like i feel like ive listened to enough parx AND demos AND awstens book AND general ramblings over the years to notice immediately that the explicit references to sex are like a very deliberate change of angle……. the part of me that has a brain thinks hes both chasing the virality of imhs AND has also realized that songs with slutty lyrics are widely loved and even big artists meant for radio (like that one cringey lyric in harrys house everyone laughs at) can get away with them and have ppl still love the song sooooo. i think hes chasing that.

i dont think after 30 years of not talking about the sex he has in his songs or personal writings hes just suddenly decided to go “im so horny and slutty and i have to let the world know!!!!!!!” liiiike this is obvi a calculated move and change of image for parx lol. i listen to and love slutty songs on the daily (i didnt make scene slut for nothing) but parx has never been “a slutty band” so im like. im still deciding how i feel about that image change especially when i rly do feel it is calculated to appeal to a wider audience……. esp of younger ppl i.e. tiktok users…… but hey as long as theyre not random horny straight lyrics like fg im probably fine with it. or will at least listen lol

#like what im trying to say is this is a calculated move lol and probably for the tiktok crowd….. like i can just tell #but hey the lyrics about obsessive and uhh unhealthy love are more interesting than im too popular on twitter so?? thats good?????#like id much rather hear abt that #neg

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imma-natural-blue · 3 years

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I am so late (fell asleep early last night) so I am just listening to Snow Globe now... and I work during the mv premiere.. rip 😭

But here’s my thoughts no one asked for let’s go! And I just realized I’m wearing an old parx t shirt (the ice cream one) so oh! I’m ready!!

Oh shit the piano... ok I get the whole snow globe thing sounds like a Christmas song

OH SHIT THAT MELODY

The VOCALS OOMMMMGGGG

Eyyy album name reference

Idk what I expected... but it was not this...

What genre is this? Just yes lolol

All I hear is I love you so much but it starts to mean nothing my heart is shut from you... I felt that

Wow ok.. overall I think it was a good song! Was it different than previous parx releases or even anything else you listen to? Oh definitely... he mixes so many different sounds and makes them work somehow... don’t get me wrong I love lofi and stuff, but he does have A LOT going on here probably not the first song I’d show people to introduce them to parx. But after first listening I really like it and will continue listening the rest of the day! So definitely not the worst song, and given time it will grow on me a lot more. I really like the piano, that whole winter wonderland feel that really adds to the snow globe concept. And the lyrics are pretty sad and referencing to fandom themes again... so makes you wonder what else can we expect from greatest hits?

#I’m so late just woke up and was like SNOW GLOBE #hahaha #my thoughts #my life #lolol #snow globe #parx

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foreverfangirlalways · 4 years

Text

The Astronomer and The Florist (Chapter 14)

Chapter 14 Title: Dress Shopping and Wedding Planning

Summery: Patton and Virgil do some wedding planning, while Roman and Logan go wedding dress shopping

Ships: Analogical & Royality

Warning: Nervousness, mild panic, author is basing wedding dress shopping off of ‘Say yes to the Dress Atlanta”, new character is written a bit oc for plot reasons

-let me know if I need to add more warnings-

(I had so much fun writing this chapter! And thank you to @kawaiikat54 for going virtual wedding dress shopping with me )

*i linked the dresses Roman tried on for anyone curious *

—-

Patton, Virgil, Logan, and Roman were all sitting in Logan’s living room. Well, technically it is Logan and Virgil’s living room, since they are officially, completely moved in together.

“So,” Logan said, calling this faux meeting to order, “when is the wedding date set for?”

“February 14th. Valentine’s Day!” Patton exclaimed excitedly. Patton and Roman both agreed that a wedding on the day of love most suited their aesthetic.

“Alright, and have y’all chosen a venue yet?”

Roman spoke up this time. “We went on our first date to a botanical and rock garden, and they have a wedding venue there.”

Logan nodded and checked off another box. “Virgil, you got the flowers, red and baby blue is the color scheme, I have the wedding invitations in my office... yep! I believe other than the clothes, we have all the major necessities.”

Everyone nodded, and Roman looked sheepish.

“Hey Lo, when did you set up that dress consultation?”

“Oh, that is at 1:30, and it is currently 12:45. You might want to get ready for it.”

Roman started freaking out, and ran all the way up the stairs before he remembered that this is not his house.

Everyone laughed, and Virgil said, “why don’t Patton and I do a bit more decoration searching while you two go buy the perfect dress?”

Logan nodded, grabbed his keys and went to get in his car. Roman said a rather extra goodbye, and hopped into the car with Logan.

As soon as they pulled out of the driveway, Patton and Virgil started looking up Honeymoon vacation ideas, as a sweet surprise for Roman.

-_-_-_-

Logan had found a wedding dress shop that said it was all accepting, and even had a few pictures of men in wedding dresses on their website.

Logan parked and looked over at Roman, who seemed to be a little nervous. “Roman, are you ok? If you are not prepared we do not have to do this. We can simply go another time.”

Roman shook his head then took a deep breath. “I’m good. Just a little nervous, ya know?”

Logan nodded. “How about we go in and try, and if at any moment you feel like you need to take a break or leave, just tap on my shoulder 3 times and I will excuse us. This is supposed to be for you, so your feelings are of upmost importance.”

Roman nodded and smiled. “That sounds like a plan, thanks Logan.”

“It is no problem.”

“Great. Now, how about we go find me a worthy gown?”

Roman and Logan walked into the building, and were greeted by their consultant.

“Hi, who’s my groom?”

Roman raised his hand. “I am! My name is Roman, and this is my best man, Logan.”

“Alright, my name is Cedric, but everyone just calls me Critic.”

Roman looked a little nervous at that, but Critic just laughed.

“Don’t worry sugar, they call me Critic because I can almost always find the perfect dress based off of everyone’s critiques. Also, Critique just happens to be my last name.”

Roman chuckled and seemed to be a bit more at ease. “Sorry, I’ve just never been dress shopping before.”

Critic smiled. “Well then, we will just have to make this time extra special! Now, do you have any idea of what you are looking for?”

Roman nodded, and Logan handed Critic a notebook.

“We compiled a list of dress types we think would look best on him.”

“Also, the date is set for Valentines Day, so I want red on the dress, and preferably flowers!”

Critic nodded. “Perfect! If you will follow me, we can get started.”

Roman, Logan, and Critic all went throughout the shop, looking for the perfect dress. Roman picked out one, Logan picked out one, Critic picked out one, and then Roman and Logan both agreed on one.

“Alright, I think we got a good selection! Let’s go try these on!”

The first one Roman tried on was his on pick. He walked towards Logan, and Logan tried to keep a supportive look.

“This is has a few of your requirements, it’s a ballgown, red in color, with flowers. What do you think?”

Roman looked at Logan expectantly, and Logan sighed. “Honestly? I think you look like a red Fifi.”

Roman laughed. “Solid Disney reference, and I couldn’t agree more. I have no idea what I was thinking. I think more white and less poof.”

Critic nodded. “Let’s try on Logan’s choice then.”

Roman walked out in Logan’s choice, but looked a bit uncomfortable.

“Logan’s choice is a white A-line dress with a red back and beads along the top and bottom of the front.”

“What’s wrong Roman? I like it, but I think it is a bit... boring for you.”

Roman nodded. “I like the white and red, but I hate the beads and I do think it is way to plain.”

“I agree.” Critic said. “It doesn’t go with the aesthetic you want. Why don’t we try my choice next?”

When Roman came out in Critic’s choice, Logan immediately knew that it was a no.

“My choice is a more princess look with a red top that has cherry blossoms on it. What do you think?”

“Umm, I hate the sleeves, they are really scratchy. And I think the way the top is tilted makes me look fat.”

Logan shook his head. “Roman, you do not look fat, but I think the downward sash is a no go.”

Critic looked a bit ashamed. “I’m sorry Roman. I thought this would have a certain, Je ne sais quoi, but I do not think this is the one for you. Do you want to try on the one both of y’all pick out together?”

Roman nodded, and they headed back to the changing room once more.

The next time Roman came out, he looked a little happier, but still uncertain.

“This dress is a two piece with a flowery bottom and a red and sheer designed top.”

“I really love the bottom of it, but I don’t care for the top.”

“I agree, I think the two piece is a bit much.” Logan said.

“Yeah, I think it looks more like a prom dress. But if you like the bottom so much, I think I have the perfect dress in mind.”

Critic shooed Roman back into the changing room, and ran off to go get the ‘prefect dress’.

Roman stepped out looking radiant, and Logan already liked it best.

“This dress is a ballgown type, with flowers rising up from the bottom and a red and white designed top. How do we feel about this one?”

Roman looked at Logan.

“I think it looks...” Roman started to look sad, so Logan hurried along his sentence.

“I think it looks gorgeous on you Roman. It is the perfect balance of red and white, and the flowers rising up will make a very extravagant display when Patton twirls you around. But what do you think?”

“I LOVE IT!” Roman shouted out in glee. “It feels so nice, I love the color, and the spin factor is on point!”

Critic smirked, looking pleased with himself. “So Roman, what are you saying to this dress?”

“I am saying yes to this dress!”

After Roman changed back into his clothes, they paid for the dress, set up the date for alterations, and bought a surprise for Patton.

-_-_-_-

“So Roman, did you have fun wedding dress shopping?” Patton asked after Logan dropped Roman off.

Roman dipped Patton and kissed him dramatically. “I had a fabulous time and I can’t wait to see your expression when you see me in my dress.”

Patton giggled and booped Roman on the nose. “I bet you will look as gorgeous as the first day I saw you. I can’t wait to marry you.”

“I can’t either Pat!”

They then sealed the precious moment with a kiss.

---

Gen taglist-

@dragonwithproblems

@five-falseh00ds-ph0nated

@kawaiikat54

@thefingergunsgirl

@sanders-sides-with-quinn

@007ardra

@yikesdodson

@nerdycupcake559

@softestvirgil

@teacupfulofstarshine

@impatentpending

@star-crossed-shipper

@ravenivy2079

@rainbowemonightmare

@ladyartemisia28

@moose-boi

@resident-trash-goblin

@parx-boiiz

@ninathepancake

@kuroyurishion

@funkyfreshfatherfigure

@pattoncake-and-eyeshadow

@drewwwbydoobydoo

@sure-i-exist

#The Astronomer and The Florist #Logan #Virgil #Roman #Patton #Analogical #Royality #Wedding dress shopping #Critic #Sanders sides

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deehollowaywrites · 7 years

Photo

I’m used to being the odd one out. As a kid, I was the only member of a fairly peculiar religion in my public schools. As an adult, I’m the family Gay Cousin (well, bisexual, but what can you do). As a kid, I was the Weird Horse Girl who bought unicorn posters at the Scholastic book fair. As an adult, I’m the Weird Horse Girl who suddenly decided to follow Thoroughbred racing.

Let me tell you: even the rest of the Weird Horse Girls look a little askance at someone who comes to the racetrack by themselves and isn’t there to bet.

Tampa Bay Downs is a friendly track. Located in Oldsmar, it’s just big enough to host two Kentucky Derby prep races. Here are the things for which I consider it notable: being the location of Julie Krone’s first mount and first win, and including a creditable Cubano on the deli menu. It’s simultaneously easy and very difficult to be anonymous at a racetrack. On TBD’s biggest day, Festival Day, around 10,000 people converge on the apron--and just because you don’t know any of them, just because you drove in from Tampa Heights with your straw hat riding shotgun, doesn’t mean you get to float through unnoticed.

My first experience at any racetrack was an anonymous Friday of spring racing in March 2016; being a natural Milhouse, I missed Festival Day by a weekend. All living Thoroughbreds can trace their heritage to one of three Western Asian stallions, I said confidently whenever anyone at TBD spoke to me. That’s true, said the bartender, but did you want Beefeater or Hendricks in your Tom Collins?

Diana’s Rules for Racetrack Newbs:

Do not go to the racetrack for the first time armed only with Marguerite Henry and Jim Squires. The former will blow the whistle on your Weird Horse Girl status, while the latter has probably given you Wrong Opinions about Lasix.*

Do not assume anyone around you is interested in the private mental landscapes and rich internal lives of jockeys, unless Edgar Prado has let them down that day.**

Do not take it for granted that fellow horse enthusiasts will naturally understand you know who Secretariat is.

Do not make eye contact with any of the men yelling at the greyhound simulcast.

Do wear sunscreen.***

What’s a mostly sober, formerly Mormon and therefore not prone to gambling, totally solo girl to do at a racetrack, anyway? No matter. If you are of Weird Horse Girl stock, reality adjusts itself slightly once you have a racing daily in hand. If you’ve never seen the thing you’ve read so much about, the sight of white breeches and bay coats seems fake. Surely, you think, they’re shooting a season of that terrible, defunct HBO show here. Surely these tiny men are actors. Surely there is not several thousand dollars’ worth of animal standing three feet away from me. Surely that is not Jose Ortiz holding his whip with his teeth, God forbid, someone lead me to a fainting couch.

All of these things are true.

It can be lonely, unexpectedly exploding into fervor for a thing, and a niche thing at that. It can be uncertain when your point of entrance isn’t the most obvious and known thing about the sport. It can be impossible, no explanation for ‘why Thoroughbreds?’ when you aren’t an owner, a trainer, a rider, a breeder, a player--when there is nothing in your family history that suggests a latent streak of madness. A hayseed is a bumpkin, a rube, a simple and unsophisticated fellow. I’m an urbanite, and I’ve never been on a farm for longer than half an hour, and I have no claim to the nuts and bolts of Thoroughbreds, much less a storied family lineage or any degree of real access.

If you don’t bet, said the man in the grandstand next to me, why are you here?

Love of the sport.

Love of the sport? Love of the sport. I don’t care about sports. When have I cared about a sport? But racing is less a sport than an enterprise, a microculture with all the hallmarks of culture--jargon, art, convoluted timelines and complicated relationships, accepted realities, externally bizarre social norms. My education thus far has been one of wide eyes and startled muttering over each Blood-Horse headline more ludicrous than the last (horses testing positive for Viagra! Arrogate’s Dubai World Cup win!), and in this regard, I fear, I will be ever innocent: wrapped in a bubble of factoids and late-developing opinions, wandering between paddock fence and grandstand, handicapping for the hell of it and rarely placing a bet, an unexpected by-blow the industry neither needs nor particularly wants.

Why Thoroughbreds? Because they rake the track between races, and a crew of seagulls toddle along in the tractor’s wake as though supervising the details. Because horses, natch. Because racetracks facilitate one of my favorite human experiences: to be alone but not lonely.

Today’s hunch bet: Bug Juice, #4 in race 4 at Parx. Who can resist a Disney Channel name reference?

*a working knowledge of the Jim Squires Catalogue will also allow you to respond when the guy next to you at the rail says idly, What kind of name is Annamonarchos? However, it is in your best interest to not respond at all.

**seriously, that lady was displeased. Leave racing’s Solemn Dad alone!

**always wear sunscreen. What are you doing? Rub that shit in, big white streaks aren’t effective. Can’t be getting cancerous out here, we gotta outlive Frank Stronach.

#Urban Hayseed #diana's writing

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