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#so people asking are hoping not to fit in in the conformity sense but in the belonging one

cripplecharacters · 2 months

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Hello! I'm planning to draw/write a character who, due to an accident, got quite a bit of scarring on her face and lost an eye. Would they need a prosthetic eye? While searching, everything I found included a step of "And then you'll get fitted for your prosthetic eye", making it sound as if everyone who loses an eye needs to have one, but what would happen if someone didn't? Additionally, would there be a difference between never wearing one and wearing one at first, then stopping?

Hi, thank you for your ask!

Generally it's considered beneficial to have something replace the eye because without it the eyelids will droop and the socket will shrink. It also (more importantly) protects the tissue that's left from things that could potentially get inside, which could cause infection. As far as I was able to research, the former is mostly aesthetic (in adults/people who finished growing, which I'm assuming your character is) but the latter is very important.

However; it doesn't necessarily need to be a prosthetic ("glass") eye - they're the most common option, but eye patches and conformers all protect the socket from debris and stuff just fine (in fact any kind of sealed eyewear probably would). Prosthetics and conformers are medically roughly the same while eye patches do nothing to help the socket or eyelids keep their original shape. (I made a very long post about eye patches but TLDR, I think they're too often associated with frustrating stereotypes and tropes.)

Prosthetic eyes are unfortunately extremely expensive and need professional regular care that a lot of people can't afford, so not everyone can use them. Conformers (basically big, transparent contacts) are an alternative that some people might choose. You can't really see them when they're inside the socket. Here is a very interesting video about conformers and prosthetics by Clay Butler. I wrote a video description and transcript here because the original doesn't have them. It explains a lot of things in a very comprehensible way from a first-person perspective. If you want something that makes sense other than a prosthetic this could be a great thing to consider :) (smile)

If someone doesn't have anything to protect their socket, they risk infection and all the problems associated with it. So you technically could go fully bare, but it's less than ideal. I've also heard that the sensation of eyelid going over the eye socket is uncomfortable (because it's so bumpy) but I assume it depends on the person.

I believe that the difference between never wearing any protection and wearing-then-stopping would just be how fast the things I mentioned in the second paragraph would set in. So if your character recently stopped wearing a prosthetic or conformer, their general eye area would probably look more "normal" than if they never wore it at all.

Here's also the facial difference post that I always link for people making characters with facial scars, which might be helpful to you.

I hope this helps 🙂 (smile emoji)

mod Sasza

#anonymous #mod Sasza #face difference #eye prosthetics #writing disabled characters #writing advice

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bylertruther · 2 years

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people who think will byers hates himself for being gay when will byers is one of the very few characters on the show that has refused to change himself to fit anyone else's idea of what he should be despite the fact that people, including his own father, have been harassing, bullying, and abusing him for it literally his entire fucking life are just...... so weird.

will's entire POINT is that he will survive and brave whatever you throw his way against all odds and come out on the other side of it still clutching on to his sense of self and hope that tomorrow will be a better day. the entire point of his character is that he loves what he loves without apology or shame.

he sings "that weird song he loves" in the middle of hell because it reminds him of his brother and offers him comfort in a place where there is none. he creates art because he loves it and doesn't care if it isn't something boys do, then he gifts it to his friends because he loves them and wants them to know it, too. he loves dnd and writes campaigns and dresses up for them because they bring him joy and he just wants to spend time with his friends even if they think they're "too cool" for it now.

he knows that sometimes it's harder than it should be to be gay in a homophobic society and has been harassed for that literally his entire fucking life it's LITERALLY how they introduce him to us not even twenty minutes into this fucking show and YET !!!!!!! he doesn't back away from that. ever.

he gets picked on for his clothes, but he doesn't change them. he gets called names, but he doesn't make any attempt to conform. his best friend, the boy that he's in love with and his very first friend ever, tells him it isn't his fault that he doesn't like girls and shamefully asks him if he really thought they were going to play games together in his basement for the rest of their lives and never get girlfriends, and what does will do?

he says yeah. i guess i did. i really did.

will faces all of that and goes to a new place where he has the golden opportunity of a clean slate, and what does he do? when assigned to do a presentation on his hero... he picks alan turing of all people. and when his brother later on tells him that he loves him no matter what, essentially giving him the It's Okay To Be Gay I Love You So Much And Always Will talk, still there is no denial on will's part here either.

will has NEVER, EVER denied being gay. he has NEVER tried to change that part of himself. he has ALWAYS stood tall and braved another day even when it was scary and hard. he has ALWAYS remained true to himself even though that has only ever made his life that much harder.

he said that sometimes he feels like a mistake for being so different from other people, but that being loved and accepted makes him feel like he isn't one at all and like he's better for being different and that gives him the courage to fight on.

literally what the fuck are you guys on about when you talk about will being self-hating for being gay. where is the canonical evidence for that? and more than that, why are you so keen on throwing away all of his acts of bravery and the sheer fucking strength of character that he's had since the very beginning? it would've been so much easier for him to conform, to be the "man" that everyone has always pushed him to be, but he doesn't ever do that. he stays true to himself no matter what. so, again, where the hell are these self-hating receipts?!

#will #will byers #byler #HE LITERALLY DID HIS PRESENTATION ON ALAN TURING IN THE FUCKING 80S WHEN HE HAD A CLEAN SLATE!!!!!! HE WAS A NOBODY AT LENORA!!!!!!#AND HE STILL DID IT ON ALAN FUCKING TURING!!! HE SAID THIS IS MY HERO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#HE WAS BULLIED SINCE FUCKING BIRTH FOR BEING GAY AND HE STILL DOES NOT SHY AWAY FROM IT!!!! HE LOVES WHAT HE LOVES!#AND /THAT/ IS WILL BYERS' STRENGTH!!! STOP DENYING ITTTTTTT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD #JUST BECAUSE A BITCH BE CRYING DON'T MEAN HE HATES HIMSELF BRO SHUT UPPPPPPPP #IT'S NOT SERIOUS BUT IT IS SERIOUS /TO ME/#FBJHFBKJFBKJDB I JUST . GOD. GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!#gatekeeping will byers until ppl learn how 2 act right. srry not srry #he's literally so brave and ppl want to reduce that. WHY!!!!!!!! THAT'S WHAT MAKES HIM SO INTERESTING!!!!#HE WILL NOT FOLD! HE WILL NOT BE ANYONE BUT HIMSELF EVEN WHEN IT'S HARD IT'S LITERALLY SO FASCINATING N BRAVE #WHY ARE SOME PPL SO DESPERATE TO ERASE THT. BITING KICKING THRASHING TEARING THINGS UP W MY TEETH #mine

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qrevo · 9 months

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So. Cat came out, I feel like Kazui ALSO wants to come out, and I need to talk about it.

(Spoilers for Cat) (Also TW: suicide mention)

First off, the style of the MV was great! Kazui going full crazy at the end was so cool. The song was a banger (as always). Now that we know he was a cop, some of his actions inside the prison make sense, like protecting the attacked prisoners, and trying to punch Es in the first trial.

My main guess now, going by enerything we have (MVs, VDs, Timelines) is that Kazui is a closeted gay man (or maybe aro/ace), and never had any real love or attraction towards his wife, only platonically at most. On the VD he says "I can't live unless I lie. That's how I was born...", and seeing as Japan has some big problems with homophobia, this really strikes off as him trying to hide this side of himself so that he can live a peaceful, "normal" life.

In that one timeline with Yuno and Mahiru, they asked about his preferences, and then after he answered Yuno said that was total bullshit. What other reason would he have to lie about his relationship preferences?

Also, "Cat", or "Neko", is a slang used by gay people in Japan to refer to bottoms or submissive gays.

The white dove represents his marriage, since he transformed his marriage ring into the dove (right before doing an "I Love You" reference). That scene of him eating the bird can be interpreted as him finally telling the truth to his wife, who he really is, and suggesting a break or a divorce, ruining/destroying their marriage.

By what he said in the VD, Kazui didn't cheat, or at least it didn't reach that point. He also said that we didn't find out his true crime/sin, since our base assumption was cheating. He also said that she died when he stopped lying. Of course, these could be more of his lies, but assuming they aren't. The only thing that I can think of, that would make her so desperate to jump off the balcony, is that his love never existed in the first place.

So what happened, in summary, was: He married his partner in the police, Hinako, to try having a normal life and conform to society. The marriage was a lie to him, but it was real for his wife. He tried to repress that side of him, hoping it would go away, but those feelings he repressed only got stronger, until he realized he couldn't keep lying forever, and decided to ask for a divorce, coming out to his wife, before he reched the point of cheating. His wife got upset, as seeing that their relationship was a lie, that he never truly loved her like she loved him, and jumped off the balcony.

But there are still a lot of questions that weren't answered.

If he didn't cheat, WHO IS BAR GIRL?? Is she important? If she is, why didn't she appear in the new MV? Is she even REAL, or is she a fabricated memory, or an idea, or a metaphor??

Is that guy in the wedding really the bartender from half? If he is, that means he is important, somehow. Was he his childhood friend? Does Kazui have a crush on him? If so, in bar girl scene, was Kazui actually flirting with the bartender before she arrived? Is he the same man he was arguing with in that scene from half?

For now I'm planning to forgive him, but is that really the best choice? It appears that, when we forgave him in T1, nothing really happened, because we actually forgave his persona, the lies about himself, instead of his actual true self. If he wants us to expose his lies, maybe an unforgiving veredict would be what he wants?

But also, if he is unforgiven, he won't be able to help defend other prisoners from attacks. We need to be careful when voting, as Milgram is starting to look like a strategy game where the goal is keeping all of them alive.

Anyways, going to listen to Cat for like. 3 days straight. Or 3 days gay, if that fits the theme better.

#milgram #kazui mukuhara #mukuhara kazui #milgram theory #HE IS SLAYED SO HARD #def one of the top 3 songs from T2 #kazui simply flying off the charts in my character tierlist #i still think there are a lot of lies that we didn't uncover #and i'm kind of worried it will be too late when we uncover them #i have a feeling T3 is going to be brutal #i don't want my blorbos to die 😭😭#qrevo.txt

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libraryofbronze · 8 months

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Looking For Punishment In The Office

Lucy had been working at the office for a year when she started to hear the rumours. They were very hush-hush, involving a manager who had made certain advances on a secretary. Advantages of the sort which would have seen him quickly expelled from the company if not for his family’s wealth and position. Even so, he’d been busted down as far as they could send him and the secretary in question had gotten away with a fat pile of money on the promise to breathe not a word of it to anyone.

Somehow though, word had gotten out. No one seemed to know quite which manager it was, though there were always theories and many of the female workers started to walk more cautiously around their superiors. It was not a happy time, nor a place to let down your guard. In fact, for a normal person it would have been stressful and hellish.

But Lucy had always known that she wasn’t a normal person. Her first reaction upon hearing the rumour had not been horror or repulsion, but a guilty sense of desire. Her first thought hadn’t been sympathy for the poor secretary, but something rather more selfish.

Why wouldn’t it have been me? Were the words she refused to say out loud, fearing what her coworkers would think. But they rang true inside of her all that week. An aching want which filled her up and muddled her thoughts.

Lucy was a redhead, a petite woman with deep green eyes and a face splashed with freckles. If you asked anyone who knew her, they might say she was a joy to speak to and behold. She hoped that this was true at least, she tried very hard. She was the sort of person who needed to fit in. Conformity was security, and she had spent her whole life seeking that. It wasn’t that she was threatened or came from a bad home. It wasn’t that she’d had terrible experiences or somehow had learned to fear the future.

No, she had no tragic past, no dark secret. She was just a woman who had left school, got a job and was trying to build her career. Friends were good for that, so she tried to have as many of them as possible. She traded favours, gave kind words where they were most needed. She built a positive impression of herself for as many people as she could. She was nice, she was calm, she was happy and relaxed. Never angry, no matter how close the deadline. Never frustrated, never snapping at a co-worker. That was how she lived her life.

It was exhausting and part of her hated it. She hated how she had to constantly work to maintain her image. She hated the falseness of it all, and how she wasn’t the person most people thought she was.

But she hated not having money more. So back to the grind it was. She didn’t have a boyfriend. A boyfriend would have meant letting down her guard, letting someone see the real person behind the mask. She could never bring herself to risk that. So she spent most of her nights alone. She’d had a few one night stands, blazing flowers of passion in her mind which made her body ache with remembrance and ghostly desire. Yet even this she carefully limited. Reputation was everything and for a woman to get a reputation as someone who slept around could be bad for her career even if it was sexist and unfair.

So she lived her life being a goody two-shoes office drone with ambitions of something more. That was how she had existed since she’d turned eighteen, and how she imagined most of her life would go. Constantly climbing, reinventing herself at each stage. Now, a modest office worker, one day an ambitious manager. After that, who knew? Each one would almost be their own person, separate from the Lucy who existed before.

She was, in short, a false person. Everything about her was false. Chosen to appeal to someone else. Sometimes when Lucy looked into the mirror, she wondered how much of what she saw was really her.

Then she heard the rumour. Felt the buzz that it sent through her body. Her cheeks heated and she had to duck away quickly from the conversation with her coworker, retreating to her cubicle for a few moments as she gathered herself. She didn’t know at first why it had hit her so hard or how it had filled her with such desire. Under her skirt and panties, her pussy throbbed with a powerful heat. Her throat was dry, and she shook her head as if trying to dislodge the thoughts. But they did not leave her, and all of that night she wrestled with them. She turned and tossed in bed, wishing that her frantically beating heart would settle.

When it did, and when she finally drifted to sleep, she was haunted by dreams. Fantasies which made her skin tingle. She woke again and again, her body plastered with sweat. She could never quite remember what she had been dreaming about, but the fading tail of it always made her long for more.

Eventually, she admitted that she wasn’t getting any more sleep and hauled herself from the bed. Her body was soaked with sweat and she knew she couldn’t go into work like this. She decided to take a shower, stripping off her panties and nightgown as the warm water pounded down around her.

Lucy’s body was attractive. Like the rest of her, she considered it a tool to use to get what she needed. She had long legs, which she used for running and jogging each day. Her arms and upper chest were toned, her red hair she wore bound in a ponytail behind her back. Her chest was compact, her nipples small and pink. They were sensitive, and as she brushed one hand against them now, a delicious shiver ran down her spine.

Fuck, she was really turned on. Had whatever she’d been dreaming about been that good? She didn’t know; she couldn’t remember anything but the senseitions. The feeling of someone grinding against her body. Heat and warmth. Pleasure thundering through her mind, and sounds of arousal and desire echoing in her own voice as something long and hard pressed between her lower lips.

Her pussy was soaking. She ran one finger across its entrance. Her nerves shivered for more, and anticipation rang through her body. She didn’t usually masturbate, but she had some free time today so why not? Her skin grew more sensitive at the thought, blood flushed through her face.

The lips of her pussy started to moisten. She ran two fingers up and down her lower entrance, teasing gently at first, but with more speed as her nerves started to fire. Heat flushed between her legs, the water felt good against her skin. Her nipples were hard now, one of her hands moved to stroke and caress them while her second moving in rapid circles, the palm pressed to her womanhood. The pressure and stimulation made her go weak at the knees, and she heard her own voice rising above the drumming of the water.

She rubbed herself faster, enjoying the crackling feeling which whipped through her body with each rotation. Desire and pleasure flared, sensitive nerves started to come to life. Her clitoris made itself known with a hungry throb and she bit her lower lip, her fingers flowing naturally towards it.

When she touched it, a wave of pleasure made her legs shake. It was small and hot, but even brushing her fingers against it made her shiver! Lucy sunk to the ground, her legs spread as far as they could go. If someone had walked in on her now, they would have seen her fucking herself with her own fingers, her other hand desparelly groping her chest. So much for her carefully cultivated image! But there was no one else in her house, and even if there was, she couldn’t have stopped now.

Desire and pleasure throbbed through her in waves, lighting up her nerves with desire and flushing heat through her body. Her fingers moved, touching and exploring herself in the most intimate ways. Her chest rose and fell, her breath came quickly, arousal making her pant and moan.

Lucy closed her eyes, enjoying the feeling. Her fingers danced and teased her aching pussy, brushing aside her lower lips and stroking herself directly. She moved them with a desperate speed, a sort of hunger taking over her actions. Every now and then, she would tease her clit. Doing so would always make her grit her teeth as the tight nova of pleasure burned through her mind.

As she touched herself, she imagined that it was not her doing it at all. She imagined that it was the manager, the one who’d got in trouble with the secretary. If he’d chosen her, he’d not have gotten any trouble at all. After all, she couldn’t take any risk to her career or image. If word got out, they’d both be found out to be phonies so she would have had to let him do everything to her that he wanted to.

Fuck! Why did that thought turn her on so much? Why did it make her so wet? She didn’t know, she didn’t understand except to know that it did. Was it because in such a situation she could take off her mask? Be herself? Let herself be controlled and give up the safety she struggled so hard for every day?

Or maybe it was just that she wanted someone to dominate and take control of her? Had that been what she was dreaming about? What had turned her on so much?

This felt so good. Better than when she usually touched herself, or even when she used toys. Her pussy was wet and responsive, her fantasies and dreams had primed her body for release. Before she even knew it, she felt herself rising on the wave of an orgasm, the feeling crested, breaking against her mind and body. Her nerves grew hot and her body grew tight, her throat became dry and for a single moment she felt as if she was stepping out over a cliff. About to take a grand plunge as the stimulation overwhelmed her senses. It was too late to go back, but she had a few moments to see what was about to hit her.

Then the feeling rolled over her. The climax was hot and intense, it seemed to stir every nerve in her body into activity. Her fingers moved faster and faster, losing their elegance as they sacrificed everything for pleasure. Her back arched, a lewd moan escaped her lips. Her toes curled and her fingers balled.

For a few glorious moments, Lucy knew nothing but the feeling which pulsed through her very being. Warm and wet, pleasurable, it filled her up and made her feel as complete as she ever had before.

Then it faded and she was left sitting on the floor of the shower, her legs splayed, warm water beating down around her and soaking her red hair to the skin of her scalp and shoulders.

It was then and there that she vowed she was going to find a way to feel like this again.

___________________________________________________________

Over the next few days, Lucy put out feelers. She talked to people in different departments, spoke to a few managers she knew liked her or had feelings for her. She probed the rumour as much as she could without being too obvious about her infatuation with it.

Most people wouldn’t have gotten anywhere but Lucy was well liked, and she had some favours to call in. Gradually, piece by piece, she started to figure out what had happened

The rumour had been right about one thing; the secretary didn’t work here anymore. But the manager did. He’d been tossed into a small department that worked near the bottom of the building, far away from anywhere he could really do harm. He had like two people under him, but neither of them seemed to actually show up to work so Lucy wasn’t even sure if they existed anywhere but on paper. Because the office could not get rid of him they’d simply skirted around him, and as far as she could tell he did almost nothing every day.

The fact that he was still paid more than her for this was more than a little annoying. Eventually, she dug deep enough to find a name. Michael Sampson.

His department was on the other side of the building, tucked away near the ground floor. Isolated and alone. Lucy convened a way to see it for herself, carrying a stack of papers to be processed there. It was a small, closed area. Very different from where she worked. There were only a few cubicles, and these were mostly empty. The main office was near the back, and had large windows which were blocked out by thick curtains.

It seemed like a ghost town at first. Like there was no one there at all, and nor had there been for quite some time. It was dusty, and the air was heavy with abandonment and disuse. Then, just as she was about to give up in despair, she saw motion. Someone emerged from the office.

He was a tall man with dark hair. He looked to be about thirty, with stubble where a beard had once been. He had a good build, fit and strong, but his eyes were empty, and dark rings betrayed a lack of sleep.

She recognised him from the pictures, though then he had been younger and more energetic. Michael Sampson! The man who had taken advantage of the secretary and ruined his own career. She swallowed, suddenly nervous but desperate not to show it.

“Did you lose your way?” Michael asked her with a wry grin. “Not very many people come here now.”

“N-no,” Lucy said. She swallowed, and made her voice more firm. “No, I have some forms that need to be processed and signed.”

“Well, you’re the first one to actually bring them here,” Michael said. “I haven’t seen forms in several weeks now. I was beginning to think the world had run out of paper.”

He chuckled, the sound made her feel very strange. His eyes were on her rather than the stack of forms, and she felt like he was measuring her up. Her body tingled, and she could feel herself getting wet.

“I’ve not seen you around here much,” Michael said. “Are you new?”

“No, I’ve worked here for a few years now. I’m usually in a different department. I’m Lucy.”

“I’m Michael,” he said. “But I’ve got a feeling that you already knew that. I can’t imagine that they would let some unaware office drone stumble here to meet me in my dreaded lair.” He grinned sardonically as he spoke. “So you must have already known about my, uh, reputation. I don’t suppose there’s anything I could tell you to make it better?”

“I don’t know,” Lucy felt the heat flowing to her face. Was she flushing? Could he see? Her heart beat faster. “What could you say to make it better?”

“Little,” Michael admitted, turning away from her. “We were flirting. I went too far. That’s all there is to it. Did you come to gawk at me here? If so, come back any time. I promise, I will be here for quite a while.”

He turned away and having deposited the papers, Lucy left. But that strange feeling which had been born during the meeting would continue to build within her. Michael had not been what she expected. She had thought he would be creepy, predatory. The sort of man who would instantly try to tackle advantage of her.

She was pretty sure she would have let him if he had too.

But Michael hadn’t. She’d felt his eyes on her body, and she knew that he had desired her. But he’d pulled back. And he’d been much more reflective than she had expected too.

The next day she put on a request for a temporary transfer to his department. That one took a lot of explaining. Her manager was concerned. Mostly about her career prospects, but she knew the real root cause of it.

“You’re a good worker,” he told her. “You’re going to be promoted soon. You’re going to climb the ladder. I don’t know why you want to go to that place. It’ll slow down your career and you’ll end up regretting it.”

“It’s only temporary,” She said with a sweet smile. “I’ll be back here before you know it. But they have a lot of work to do there and they seemed absolutely swamped. Let’s be honest, you don’t really need me here for everything. I’ll be back before you even miss me.”

The man tried to dissuade her further, but she refused to be cowed and after a while, he reluctantly allowed her to go. Michael was very surprised to see her back, and even more surprised when she showed him the forms.

“Temporary reassignment?” He raised an eyebrow. “Those are words I never thought I’d see applied to this place. You must have pissed off someone powerful to be tossed into this hole. Well, company is always nice so choose a desk. There’s plenty of options.”

She did just that, and for the first few days she worked just like it was any other assignment. The forms came in and she filled them out, she did paperwork, computer work, some cleaning here and there. Michael didn’t appear often but when he did, her body would tense. She would hear him before she saw him, the floor creaking as he walked down the hall. The back of her neck would prickle as he moved past, his eyes would sweep across her body. There was desire there. Want that echoed in her own body. The thought that he could take advantage of her at any moment turned her on and made her grind her thighs.

But he never did. After the first few days, Lucy realised she was going to have to be the one to set things in motion.

Michael didn’t keep regular hours and didn’t bother to lock up his office, so it was easy enough for her to sneak in when he wasn’t there. The computer he used was still set to the default office password, so this was easily overcome as well.

Only then did Lucy pause, considering her actions. The logical part of her mind was screaming at her, demanding to know what she thought she was doing. This went way beyond any fantasy she’d ever had, and the man was a user! Why was she even considering this?

For a moment, she quailed. She almost backed away, almost gave up then and there. But the memory of her half remembered dreams, and the ghostly feeling of her time in the shower carried her through.

The next day as she was working, Michael came to her desk. For once, he did not look bored or depressed. He looked stern. Her stomach flipped as she looked up into his eyes.

“Miss Goodheart?”

He didn’t usually call her by her last name. She swallowed, feeling suddenly very on edge.

“Y-yes Michael?”

“Sir today, Miss Goodheart. I am your manager, after all even if only for now. Some respect is probably due. It seems to have been rather lacking of late.”

She felt as if she’d been slapped in the face, her skin flushed and she nodded.

“I understand, sir. I am sorry you feel that way.”

“Are you?” He said, growling low. “We’ll talk about that later. For now, I want to see you in my office in ten minutes.”

He turned and stalked away, leaving Lucy wrestling with mixed feelings behind her desk. Her legs felt weak and she was nervous. What could have caused such a reaction? Did he know…? Well what was she going to do if he did? She couldn’t exactly leave now with her assignment only half over. She’d just have to take the meeting. After all, it wasn’t like he had any real power in the company now.

Yeah, she’d just endure whatever it was he wanted to say to her and then go about her day. Easy and simple. But, as the time came closer for the meeting, she started to get nervous. She swallowed, using her hands to straighten out her dark grey skirt and to smooth over her work blouse. She was wearing long socks and heels, and when the time came to finally go to the office, the walk seemed to take forever.

Lucy swallowed, nervous energy battering against her mind. She felt strange moving over to that room where Mchael was waiting. She didn’t know what was going to happen to her. Anticipation and eagerness battled with dread and wariness. Had she gone too far? Had she been caught?

She was going to see.

When the moment came, she knocked on the door. Instantly, Michael’s voice told her to enter and close the office door behind her. That gesture was small and meaningless, but as the door clicked shut, she felt as if she was trapped. She turned to find that Michael had pulled his chair around to face the door.

“Miss Goodheart, how long have you been working under me now?”

“F-for four of five days, sir.” Lucy said.

“You’ve been doing a very good job.”

“Thank you sir,” She said in confusion. Being praised was not what she had expected when she had come through the door! But things quickly got back on track.

“That is, you were up until yesterday. Do you know that spying on your superiors is a criminal matter?”

“Sir?” She tried to look confused and hurt, plastering an innocent expression on her face. “I would never…”

“Save it. There’s a camera behind the door which caught you yesterday as you looked around. Did you take anything? Help yourself to forms or documents?”

“No!” Lucy said quickly. “Of course not! I wouldn’t do anything like that!”

For a long, heart-rending moment, he locked eyes with her.

“Very well.” Michael said. “I find myself believing you for some reason.”

She breathed a long sigh of relief.

“However there is still the matter of your punishment.”

The words made her blood turn cold. Lucy looked up, her eyes flickered towards Michael’s face. He was calm and impassive, but there was something in his eyes which made her heart drum faster.

“My punishment? Sir, I don’t understand.”

“I think you do,” Michael gave a cynical chuckle. “You have committed a grave crime, Miss Goodheart. Now you can have it dealt with by the police, human resources and whoever else may want to poke their head in… or you can have it dealt with by me.”

She swallowed, feeling dizzy as the blood rushed through her body. For a moment, she tried to speak but could not make the sound. Michael watched her, enjoying the sight.

“Now I know what you may be thinking. You should let the company handle it, but believe me they are not forgiving. I know that most of all. So if you do turn to them even if you avoid criminal charges it will be the end of your career. I’ve looked into you, Lucy. Just as I am sure you have done to me. Your career is everything to you. At first glance, nothing else matters at all. So why did you come to this dead end assignment, hmm?”

His grin made her skin crawl, as if he knew all of her thoughts. He said nothing, but the very fact that he was guessing her motives so well made her flush, her face turning red. That was the only clue that he needed.

“I see,” He said. “In that case, let us assume you do not want the company to handle it. You want me to. That’s why you came here isn’t it? You heard what happened before, with the secretary, and you wanted to experience it for yourself.”

“No,” She shook her head even as her own body betrayed her with a throb of desperate desire. “I wouldn’t want that. That was wrong. Bad. I’m not, I mean, I can’t…”

“You’re a pure unsullied woman who would never want to experience such a thing?” Michael shot her a look. “That’s the defence you want to go with?”

She said nothing, her eyes fell to the floor. Her body felt hot and her clothes felt tight. Michael’s eyes were on her, and she couldn’t meet his gaze.

“All right then,” Michael said. “Here’s the deal I am willing to offer you. I’ll give you a test and if you pass it, I’ll agree that that was not why you agreed to work with me. I’ll even forget this little incident ever happened. If you fail however, you agree to do whatever I tell you for your remaining time here, no matter what it is.”

Her eyes snapped up to meet his. His words were beguiling but she didn’t fail to recognise the danger.

“Anything?”

“Anything at all,” he said. A shiver ran from the base of her spine all the way down her back.

“What sort of test do you have in mind?”

“Ah.” He raised a finger. “What are you forgetting?”

“Sir. What kind of test do you have in mind, sir?”

“Well, it’s obvious isn’t it. If you desire something like this, your body will already be hot and wanting. You’ll just be coiling with anticipation, your little cunt all wet and needy. If you’re not like that then clearly I was mistaken and we can both go about her day.”

“You want me to strip for you.” It was not a question.

“For a start,” he chuckled. “After we see how aroused you are, there will probably be more.”

Lucy swallowed, her mouth was dry. Her body was tingling, waves of ghostly anticipation and aching desire flowed through her. She already knew she was soaking down there. She was surprised that he couldn’t see it through her clothes, it felt like she was more wet than she’d ever been. But what could she do? He had her trapped and they both knew it. She’d have to strip, and then she’d be found out.

She kicked off her heels, her body moving before her mind had even decided what to do. Her hands were shaking, her fingers felt cold and clumsy as they struggled with with blouse. Lucy felt as if she was standing on quicksand, each movement making her sink lower and lower. Her pussy throbbed, the yearning need was stronger and stronger with every passing moment. She felt humiliated, ashamed and turned on all at once.

This man was going to see her naked. He was going to see absolutely everything. Every inch of her. Without the mask, without her clothes, without any way to shield herself.

He was going to see the real her and there was nothing she could do about it.

The blouse hit the ground, leaving her standing in her white undershirt and skirt as well as knee-high black socks. The shirt was very thin and you could see her chest through it, her pale skin and her dark bra. Her nipples prickled, pressing against the inside of the cups as she fumbled with the buttons of her shirt. Each one brought her closer and closer to baring herself. Her heart hammered crazily in her chest, her mouth was dry. She looked everywhere and anywhere except towards the man who was humiliating her.

“Do you want me to take off everything?” She whispered softly.

“Yes,” Michael said. “Absolutely everything. I want you naked. I want to see every inch of your pretty little body.”

The way he spoke made her tingles grow stronger. The last of the buttons came free and her shirt flapped open. She took it off and let it hit the floor. Now she was in her bra and her skirt.

How many times had she dreamed of a moment like this? How many times had it played a part in her fantasies? And now it was happening. Now it was real. It didn’t feel like she’d imagined. It felt better and worse in ways she could not have expected.

Her bra went next, as it fell free, Lucy wrapped one arm around her chest to shield herself from his gaze. But he made a noise in the back of his throat. Cheeks flushing red with shame, Lucy’s arm went limp and Michael saw her chest.

Her breasts were not big but they were well formed and as soon as she bared them she felt Michael’s eyes move towards them. Her nipples were small and pink, hard as hell now and obviously mirroring her arousal. He grinned, seeing the state of her body. What he had managed to do to her without even lifting a finger.

He said nothing as she removed her socks and then slipped off her skirt. Now she was standing in the office in just her panties. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, the floor felt uncomfortable against the soles of her feet. She was shivering, her hands clasped behind her back. She felt like she had back in school, when she’d been called to give some sort of presentation to the class only it was her boss and she was naked.

She didn’t have to look down to know she had a large, damp patch between her legs. Her pussy was pulsing with want and need. The shameful humiliation blazed inside her like a furnace of heat. She tried to keep her mind straight, but it was so hard. All she could think of was what was about to happen next. How she was going to grab her panties and pull them down her legs. He was going to see her dripping, he was going to see how turned on she was.

He was going to see everything.

She pressed her eyes tightly closed when the moment came. Her thighs coiled, and she had to force herself to stand straight. Her fingers slipped below the elastic band of her underwear and tugged down her panties. She’d wanted to do it fast, but she couldn’t make it work. Instead it was slow, so very slow. Inch by inch, moment by moment, she bared her body to the man. When the pantiers hit the ground, she was well and truly humiliated. The wetness of her womanhood was obvious even across the room. It glinted, and her face shone red with embarrassment.

“It seems to me that you’re enjoying this a bit too much,” Michael said. “But then again, I could be wrong. Didn’t you say before that you were a pure woman who would never enjoy something like this? Maybe I’m mistaken.”

She looked to the ground, both hating and loving his voice in that moment. But what he said next made her eyes rise to meet his gaze.

“Why don’t you hold yourself open and let me see for sure?”

“S-sir?” She managed to remember to use the term just in time. “You can’t be serious.”

“I am.” He said. “After last time, I need to be very careful. So I want to be sure that you want it. Open yourself with your fingers and let me see you spread your pussy. If you’re really wet, that’ll make it obvious.”

He was toying with her. It was already obvious. From the way her face burned, from how her pussy was engorged, from the way her nipples stood proud against her breasts. There wa sno way he hadn’t noticed it already. But this was part of the game and she knew he was asserting dominance. Taking her control.

Her fingers moved to her pussy. The feeling of them pressing against her lower lips, her labia, it made her face hot. She could feel her own wetness, hooking her lips and slowly drawing them apart for the man. It was strangely invasive, as if she was pulling aside the last curtain, baring the last portion of her body. She spread herself wide for him and turned her head to the side. A few moments passed, the cold air brushed her pussy.

Then he spoke.

“Well, there is really no doubt now, huh Lucy? You’re a slut and you want this.”

“No,” She said.

“You came here looking for this.”

“I didn’t,” She lied, but his eyes pierced those words like spears of ice. They both knew now and there was no way to take it back.

Michael’s hand went to his jeans, undoing the zip and allowing his cock to emerge from within. Lucry’s eyes followed it. It was long and hard, the tip glinted with his own arousal. She swallowed, and he waved her over.

“Come and sit on my lap,” He said. Lucy knew what he wanted her to do, but moving over was still one of the hardest things she’d ever done.

Slowly, step by step, she crossed the infinity of the room. She left her clothes, her panties, her dignity behind. Michael lay before her, sitting on large spinning chair. At first, she didn’t know if it would support the two of them, but it looked strong enough and heavy enough.

She breathed more quickly now she was close to him. The sane part of her reminded her that she didn’t have to do this. All she had to do was scream and run. She could put an end to this like that.

But she didn’t want to. She was caught; Hypnotised. Reeled in by Michael’s quiet authority and her own towering lust.

She was close now. She could reach out and touch him. Lucy jumped when his hands closed about her thighs, guiding her downwards as she turned away. His body was warm and hard under her, his cock poked up between her legs. His head was nestled against her neck.

“Take it inside of you,” he growled into her ear. “You know you want to.”

She did. She did want to more than anything. Her body was trembling with adrenaline and lust, her pussy was soaking. She didn’t care about running anyway, she had wanted to be here. This was what she was aiming for, wasn’t it?

Her fingers closed around his cock. The shaft throbbed, and she swallowed. Lucy’s eyes half closed when she felt the tip of it press against her pussy, pushing through the folds of her lower lips. It felt good, Michael’s shaft filled her up, forcing her labia aside. Lucy groaned in the back of her throat, more in anticipation than anything. His hands moved upwards, gripping her breasts. She could feel her chest and hips behind and under her. His breath tickled the side of her neck. Holy fuck, why did this feel so very good? They hadn’t even done anything yet!

She had expected him to start fucking her, but he didn’t. Instead, he swivelled the chair, turning the two of them towards the desk. The desktop was open there, and also an email application.

It was her work account.

“Are you surprised?” Michael whispered from behind her. “I am still a manager and still have some authority. Not as much as I once did, true. But enough. Now shall we start your punishment?”

His fingers drew circles around her nipples, teasing her areola. His cock was inside of her, hard and proud but immobile. Her hips wanted her to grind against him, to ride him and to experience his thrusts and pumps. Her feet dangled inches from the ground. If anyone walked in on them like this, her career, her life, everything she had so carefully constructed would be over.

But she didn’t care.

“Here’s what I want you to do, my pet. Firstly, you’re going to write an email to your old department head. Copy it to the head of every other department too, just to be safe.”

She was going to refuse, but he bucked his hips slightly, bouncing her suddenly on his shaft. The motion took her breath away and with shaking arms, she did as she was told. He moved back and forth inside of her slowly, teasing her and making her moan and shudder. His fingers pluck-pluck-plucked at her nipples and chest, his breath tickled her neck and throat.

“Here is what I want you to write.

“To those it may concern, after some time in the company of Michael’s department and person, I have decided that it is a better and more fitting move for my new career to remain here. To that extent, I am moving to make my temporary reassignment permanent.”

Lucy’s hands shook, her fingers hitting the keys as he spoke. Her mind was aflame, her hips were grinding against his cock. He was still tormenting her, moving slightly, pressing forward, letting her feel his shaft move back and forth. Not enough to make her cum, not even close. But a silent promise, a desire which rocked her body. Made her desperate.

“Next part, I have reconsidered my career options within the company, and have decided on a new path for my future. From the moment this email reaches you, I want each and every one of you to distribute it to all of your workers as well.

“I, Lucy Goodheart, have decided to become an office slut. From this moment, I want you all to treat me as that position would imply. During office hours I will fuck anyone who asks, I will obey any command that I am given by even the lowest ranking interns. I will wear no clothes, and allow my body to be used as you see fit.”

Lucy’s heart throbbed in her chest as he spoke, his words tore at her with spears of icy terror. She had to stop now. She couldn’t send that. All of her plans, her future, her career, they’d all be ruined if that got out! But she didn’t stop. Michael was thrusting slowly, grinding himself against her. The penetration of his cock stole all her thoughts away and filled her with the simple desire to obey.

Was this who she really was? Was this all she had ever wanted?

“In order to ensure that I do not later back out of this decision,” Michael went on, “I am going to attach footage of myself robbing the office of a manager. Use this information to keep me in line. Lovingly signed, Lucy.”

Lucy moaned, she didn’t know what turned her on more. Michael’s cock inside of her or the words he was making her say. She was throwing away everything that she had managed to build, but somehow she didn’t feel like it was much at all. She felt tears in the corner of her eye as she hit send.

“Is it done?”

“Yes.” She said. “I…I’ve ruined my life.”

“Ruined your life? No, Lucy you’ve just entered a new stage of it. Allow me to show you how pleasurable that stage will be.”

He fucked her then. Really and truly, the way she had wanted from the start. Lucy’s doubts soon dissolved as her body bounded up and down, her hips locking with his. His shaft filled her pussy, his cock penetrated her with each rise and fall of her body. Her breasts danced, his fingers squeezed and caressed her nipples. She was moaning, crying, joy and horror mixed as she rode his cock. It was the most intense fuck of her life and she wished it would never end.

Her career, her life, everything she had built was gone. But she didn’t care, She felt as if she had been reborn as a whole new person.

She came and came, dancing on his shaft. Her body rising and falling, her back arched and her fiery red hair flew wild. Lucy was glad that the office was empty, no one could hear her frenzied moans or the grunts and cries she made as Michael’s hips took away her breath or made her tremble and beg for more.

After what seemed like forever, it was over. Lucy slumped to the floor, his seed spilling out from between her legs. She gasped for air, sweat stained her naked body.

“That was pretty fun,” Michael said. “And we can release the email later if we want to.”

She looked up at him in shock.

“What, did you think I was actually going to let it go out? Of course not. I used my privileges to lock the account first. I just wanted you to think that it was going out to everyone. That way I could really be sure if this was what you wanted. And it seems like it was. Holy shit, Lucy, I’ve never had anyone come onto me like you did.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

“I mean really. Queuing up all of those videos on my computer? Showing me exactly what you wanted me to do to you? What if I hadn’t been into it? It would have ended your career.”

“I was willing to take the risk,” Lucy sighed, rising to her feet on trembling legs. “I was pretty sure you were. So what are we going to do now?”

“Well,” Michael said slowly. “I think that those rules we put out on those emails were pretty good ones, right? So you should obey them. But only in this department. Don’t worry, no one ever comes here.”

“But that means you can use me any time you want,” Lucy pointed out. “And I’ll be naked every day I work here!”

“Is that a problem?” Her manager smiled and Lucy felt her heart flutter.

“If I don’t live up to it, will you punish me again?”

“That would be my job as your manager.”

“In that case, there is absolutely no problem at all.”

#bd/sm dynamic #bd/sm kink #bd/sm community #original fiction #cnc k!nk #bdsmwriting #bdsmstories #humiliation kink #bronze's stories #sexywriting #bronzeplacewriter

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neptunianmars · 2 years

Text

Aries in the chart and our selfish tendencies

author note: my intercepted 12H pisces mercury is kicking all of my ass today and i cannot get my thoughts into words. i don't think the interpretations at the end are as detailed as i'd like but everyone is always free to ask me for elaboration or more detail on any post <3

obvious stereotype aside, one of the most essential themes of Aries is the self. Aries is exalted in the Sun, the controller of our ego which by definition is "our sense of self-importance."

the mythology behind the Aries constellation carries roots in self-importance. when King Athamas remarried, his new wife selfishly wanted him all to herself and despised his children to a previous marriage. she manipulated the King to sacrifice his own son, Phrixus. the boy's mother prayed to Zeus and her prayers were answered; Zeus sent a golden ram to save Phrixus and his sister Helle. Phrixus later sacrificed the ram to Zeus and left his golden fleece in the care of a protector dragon.

the next mention of the golden fleece is Jason and the Argonauts long adventure to it. the entire reason behind Jason capturing the fleece is so he can earn his rightful place as King from his corrupt uncle- who selfishly took the throne from Jason and his siblings.

Aries is comfortable and content not only focusing on the self, but embracing it. we can look to Aries in our charts to show us where we feel selfish tendencies. selfishness can be good to an extent! but it's important to be aware of it so it doesn't get out of control.

my chart example: i have Sun and Venus in Aries. i am sooo so selfish when it comes to beauty/self care products. if i am sharing a shower space with other people i will literally take my products out so they don't use them. or if someone asks to borrow a product i am screaming on the inside lmao. i'm also selfish with.. myself? i don't like sharing myself or thoughts, or giving my time away. Aries is intercepted in my 12H, and so as much as i have these selfish thoughts and tendencies, i have a lot of trouble asserting myself and end up giving the stuff away anyways; my energy, my time, my toiletries lmfao

Aries Sun: you can be selfish when it comes to your energy, time, effort, and attention. anything deemed unworthy just doesn't make the cut even if it's important to others.

Aries Moon: you can be selfish with your emotions; they come first over other people's. they're also your emotions and you don't like sharing them with others. you save all of your energy for yourself and your interests.

Aries Mercury: you can be selfish in your thoughts and intelligence. you like to keep the stuff you learn to yourself. even if speaking of something with good intention, it could sound to others like it's coming from a selfish place.

Aries Venus: you can be selfish in love. this could manifest as envy or control because you want what's yours and don't like sharing. you will go after the person you love or want no matter what the cost. in the relationship, you feel as though your needs come first and forget about theirs.

Aries Mars: you can be selfish in desire. you know what you want and will do anything you can to get it, including hurting or neglecting others. your main drive or motivation for something you want will always have a selfish reason behind it.

Aries Jupiter: you can be selfish in your generosity. you give purely for the good karma and good praise.

Aries Saturn: you can be selfish in your responsibilities. you like doing everything on your own and don't share your tasks with other people, or take on theirs.

Aries Uranus: you can be selfish in your innovations. you conform things to fit to your needs and wants and don't think of others.

Aries Neptune: you can be selfish in your dreams. your hopes for the future are backed with a selfish reason behind it.

Aries Pluto: you can be selfish with power. you feel the need to be on top, no matter the cost of getting there.

Aries 1H: you can be selfish with your appearance. you present yourself how you want no matter what others think or say about it.

Aries 2H: you can be selfish with materials. you are nottt the type to give out money, give people things, or buy people things.

Aries 3H: you can be selfish with your siblings or peers at a young age, whether that's not sharing with them or not sharing them.

Aries 4H: you can be selfish with family. again, whether that's not sharing with them or not sharing them.

Aries 5H: you can be selfish in expression and romance. you create for you and no one else.

Aries 6H: you can be selfish in your routines. your day to day life does not concern or think about others.

Aries 7H: you can be selfish with your partners (love, business, etc.). again, whether that's not sharing with them or not sharing them.

Aries 8H: you can be selfish with your own growth. you have become the person you are today because of you and no one else can take credit.

Aries 9H: you can be selfish with your wisdom. you don't like to teach what you know out of fear they will grow more knowledgeable than you.

Aries 10H: you can be selfish in your career and public image. you will do anything to make sure you are at the top and regarded the highest.

Aries 11H: you can be selfish with your friends. again, whether that's not sharing with them or not sharing them.

Aries 12H: you can be selfish in your healing. you want to heal yourself so you can take all the credit, with absolutely no one else's help.

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thyandrawrites · 2 years

Note

it really was pointless!!!! Toga has his blood, he should have anticipated it! The first clone Toga makes (not her actually transforming) WILL have Jin's personality, memories, etc. He'll be "back" temporarily, and could make infinite clones ESPECIALLY since we know Jin's clones can be used for blood transfusions so she could potentially harvest infinite amounts of blood for keeping the transformation/making sure she can constantly create more clones. There was literally NO point. And Hawks is supposed to be smart enough to have realized this was a possibility given he knew their abilities.

I agree. Hawks should have seen this coming, but I think his oversight (and the Commission's) actually works with his characterization, not in spite of it.

(I hope you don't mind a longer and ramblier response, but your ask gave me food for thought)

Iirc, Toga's powerup, the ability to use the quirk of the people she transforms into, relies on the strong love she feels for them. But Toga is widely perceived as a deviant, and no one except for Jin and the League was ever able to accept her definition of love. In this light, I think it makes a lot of sense for Hawks to underestimate the threat her quirk awakening poses. Hawks never really understood the League as people, or the ties between them as care.

After all, we already have an example of Hawks Othering Dabi because he can't understand his reaction to Twice's death. He never got to know Dabi well enough to learn that he smiles when he cries, and in absence of tears he's just left grinning manically. So when Hawks sees an expression that he cannot immediately categorize as grief, he tells Dabi that this is not what loss should look like, implying that his reaction is heartless, that Dabi's the monster here, not the person who actually struck the killing blow.

Imho Hawks' failure to read any humanity in the League is supposed to mirror hero society's rejection of those that don't fit in. Compare for example his horrified and judgemental shock to the reaction Toga always receives when she drinks blood or otherwise experiences her version of love:

The dehumanization at play is very similar. The basics are: "you're emoting in a way that doesn't fit social norms I'm accustomed to, thus you're a deviant that doesn't conform, and as such, a monster".

Considering how Hawks only offered a chance for a fresh start to Twice, despite his time with them he never really got to see past that superficial impression of the League as violent freaks and murderers. It wouldn't surprise me if his idea of Toga is not to far off from that of the people who covered her childhood home in offensive graffiti.

I'm mentioning all of this because Hawks refused to acknowledge Jin's dying words. The hankie story.

In his dying breaths, Jin was trying to make Hawks see the humanity of the people he befriended in his time with the League. He tells him that heroes always divide people into "the virtuous," aka those deserving their help, and the "downtrodden folk" like the League, who don't. And he tells him that even if society sees his friends as hopelessly inhumane, beyond salvation, it was Toga who helped him at his lowest point, lending him a handkerchief to wrap around his head and ease his fear of splitting up. When the heroes left him to fend for himself until he lost his mind, it was a villain who cared to put him back together.

But Hawks never got to see that side of Toga, or that side of everyone else beyond Jin. He never acknowledged Toga's love as care the same way he recognized Twice's genuine love for his friends.

Hawks' worldview isn't wide enough to accommodate for such gray areas. I've written a post before on how I think Hawks functions on a categorization of people into "good" and "bad" boxes because that's what helped him survive the abuse, and imho this is just another example of it in practice. So he decides that Jin is a good man who was led astray by bad company, and only sees the rest of the League as monsters incapable of being as "good" as Jin.

I think Hawks' failure to foresee the consequences of killing Twice might fit into this narrative. It's not that he lacked any intel to make the connection, or that he had an uncharacteristic moment of stupidity and didn't think of the ramifications of murdering him. But if we read him as sufficiently socially inept to miscalculate the bond between lov members as purely transactional, like his reading of Dabi in relation to Jin, I think it helps understanding his incompetence better.

To put it in simpler terms, maybe it's not that he didn't anticipate that Toga could turn into the people she loves, but he simply didn't think that Toga could love Jin. Cause he assumed her version of caring was something more twisted and freaky than a "normal person's." That it had to be fundamentally different from the way people like him and Twice experienced it.

It's true enough that Toga only ever verbalized her romantic love/obsession for Deku and Ochako. We readers of course know that's not the whole extent of it, and that she draws even more strength and growth from the platonic bonds with the Lov. But it's also true that Hawks never acknowledged the League as a group of people brought together by the necessity of belonging with someone who can accept them for who they are. He just sees the villains, but not the humans underneath. Jin could,

But Hawks doesn't.

In that light, then, when Toga will bring back Twice, that won't just be a moral slap in the face that shows the force of the bond they shared, but it will also nullify Hawks' efforts towards protecting the greater good at the expense of the "downtrodden folks" like Jin.

And in doing so, it might show old guard heroes like Hawks, who represents the HPSC and thus the system itself, the fatal mistake of believing villains aren't human at the end of the day, and exactly what needs changing to have a better future

#Ali replies #Bnha meta #Bnha spoilers #My post #Idk how coherent this is or if it makes sense to you #But once the thought struck me I wanted to write it out

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therainbowgorilla · 1 year

Note

This is not a question. This is an explanation tied to a question, like an elephant tied to a latex balloon: do queer people know that the reason queer discourse exists in the state that it does is almost definitely because a lot of queer people are also retarded? I hope that's as blindingly obvious to other people as it is to me, because *aS aN aUtIsTic PeRsOn*, every time a great big angry ball of queer discourse comes rolling, flaming and screaming past my blog, I think to myself that if I was autistic AND queer, I'd most likely also be dead by my own hand, or wheelchair bound due to a stroke. The attitude expressed by the original poster of the post whose comment section you found me in: that language about or surrounding queerness should be essentially meaningless so as to keep those it relates to from having to conform to any sort of expectation that they may have previously established for themselves, makes it completely impossible for an autistic person to engage with those people at all. In fact, I would go so far as to say that in effect they make themselves more like computers to us than people: malignant and unknowable machines where all input is meaningless and all output is random and usually negative. It's so obvious that that's where the "language has meaning" and "there need to be rules" objections come from, and it's honestly kind of heartbreaking to feel like I, an outsider, am the only person who even notices or cares. I mean honestly, how dare you tell autistic people that there are no rules? What the fuck are you thinking? It took me my entire childhood to just about figure other people out, well into my adolescence. Over fifteen years to stop deliberately antagonizing people just to get a reaction that made contextual sense. I'm almost thirty now, and I'm not going back to that feeling of hopelessness. Not for anyone, no matter how sad their story is. And that's where "You don't get to know how to treat us with respect" came from.

What the fuck are you even on about? You think I'm gonna take the argument of someone who uses the R slur in 2023 seriously? What do you think this is, 5th grade?

I don't give a shit if you're autistic or not. Me too, the fuck? If you would have bothered to glance at my blog description, you'd know that.

Just like any other slur, you can use the R slur for yourself but not against others. (This isn't some roundabout way of calling you the R slur. I'm just saying it's how reclaiming works. You don't get to call other people the R slur just cause you're autistic.)

And oh my god your overdramatic shit about how you'd fucking kill yourself or wind up disabled if you were autistic and queer? How fuckin old did you say you were? Holy shit, you're almost thirty and you're acting like this? Get a grip. Grow up.

I'm autistic, disabled, and queer. The absolute audacity you have to come into my inbox with this shit is just blowing my mind.

And oh my god, the cognitive dissonance here is so legitimately hilarious to me. You're calling people like me overly sensitive when you're the one throwing a hissy fit in some rando's inbox on tumblr dot com lmao. And the claim that you've matured and stopped diliberately antagonizing people is just 😘👌 such funny irony. Like, did you even read your ask before you sent it?

You've self admitted that you're an outsider to the queer experience, so what the fuck makes you think you get a say in how we describe and label ourselves? Newsflash: non-queer people don't get to dictate what queer people call themselves. Shocking, I know (/s).

Look, dude/gal (I'm gonna assume you're not enby since you've said you're not queer), I'm genuinely sorry you've had trouble figuring people out as you grew up. Trust me, I totally get it. You think you're the only autistic person who had trouble figuring people out growing up?

Hell, I STILL ain't figured it out yet. How do allistics remember faces? How do they not get special interests? How do they know "common sense" intrinsically whilst I often don't seem to? How can I tell romantic love from queerplatonic love or from sexual love? Why do allistics always assume we know things despite them never telling us them? How does an NT person focus without hyperfocusing? How can you tell if someone is flirting with you? How does the person in front of me feel? Is the person I'm infodumping to actually interested or am I boring them? Why do people think my tone/face is an angry one when I'm just expressing confusion and asking curious questions? What's my gender? What is gender? Why do people in power want to hurt other people? Why are they so greedy for money they'll never spend? Why can't cashiers sit down?

And how the FUCK does someone make friends, especially as an adult not attending college/uni!?

FUCK IF I FUCKIN KNOW! It sucks! It sucks ass! I know that! Seriously, trust me, I'd love to understand the way allistics and NTs think. The world would be SO much easier for the both of us. And we struggle so much to understand NTs, whilst they rarely try to understand us in return! I know you struggled and that legitimately sucks, and I wish the world was more kind and patient and accomodating with you and I both.

But, like, you think you struggled? Try growing up disabled, nonbinary, aromantic asexual (with queerplatonic attraction), autistic, mentally ill in several ways, physically disabled, poor, and in an abusive home. Holy fuck, I was constantly confused about other people every day of my damn life!

I'm not saying this to invalidate your struggles and experiences. You struggled, and that sounds like it fucking sucked, and I'm sorry it was that rough for you growing up. It sounds like you weren't given enough kindness and patience and explanations about things when you should have. And that really really sucks, I get that.

But you're not the only one who has struggled, and having a rough life doesn't give you the right to be an asshole to others or dictate how they are allowed to live their lives.

There's something important you aren't understanding here.

You have to try to understand what a social construct is. By definition, social constructs like gender and orientation and the language around them are constantly fluid and changing. Labels are fluid and are ours to pick or to ignore.

I feel a sense of better understanding of myself when I find a label I feel happy with. I feel peace and a sense of comfort that I'm not alone in my experiences. I feel a sense or community. So, for me personally, I love it when I find a label I feel fits me!

Other people feel that labels are restrictive, and that's okay too! No one has to use any labels that they don't want to identify with, and they really don't have to use any at all! The important thing is that the choices are ours to make.

See, you seem to have a fundamental misunderstanding about what being Queer means.

Trying to force strict rules on what queerness is is literally antithetical to the definition of queer. And someone outside the community like yourself absolutely does not get a say in how we define our queerness.

Queerness in and of itself, by definition... is literally a rejection of the strict rules society has always tried to force upon gender, orientation, and the like. Society tries so hard to force us into cis heteromantic heterosexual boxes, tries desperately to enact strict rules about who we can be and who we can care for.

The reason that there are so little rules in regards to how we can identify is that Queerness, at its very essence, is a rejection of the strict rules and labels that society forces upon us. Queerness is about breaking free or rules and boxes forced upon us by others. Historically, for decades the bisexual and lesbian communities were heavily intertwined and welcoming to each other and to letting their members identify as either or both if they wished.

Then, a bunch of biphobes decided that bi people were disgusting and dangerous for (many if not most of them) liking men. And the biphobes began trying to drive a wedge between the historically linked communities and force bisexuals out. Unfortunately, it seemed to work.

(here's one source I really enjoyed reading that taught me a lot about this bisexual and lesbian history!)

The link between the bi and lesbian communities once thrived, and then it was stolen from us by a bunch of biphobic assholes.

Bi lesbian is a rejection of the unjust rules society has tried to force upon us. It is a reclamation of the historical link that was ripped away from us by the hatred and bigotry of biphobes.

You need to learn how to be okay with not understanding every little thing. If you don't understand someone, talk to them, ask them questions. And if you still can't understand, that's okay! Because here's the thing: You don't have to understand something or someone to respect them. I don't understand every single xenogender or microlabel, but as long as they aren't based on hatred or bigotry, I am perfectly content to say "I can't say I understand it fully, but I'm happy you've found a label that brings you comfort and happiness with yourself!"

Identifying as bi lesbian is, at its core, an act of queer rebellion and reclaimation. The very essence of what being Queer is all about.

#Fave og posts #The asker might not listen to a single word #But I hope that someone out there finds comfort in what I've written #Bi lesbian #Queer #Queer pride #R slur tw #Ableism tw #Suicide tw #actually autistic #This ended up basically being an essay #I hope this is #Empowering #To others as writing this was for me #I feel a sense of validation and catharsis and empowerment from writing this out #I hope the asker takes some of it to heart #But if they don't I hope it at least helps others

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faerywhimsy · 1 year

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I know that we are well into the 21st century and this means we can no longer talk about Buffy but… I’m gonna talk about Buffy. Or, more precisely, Anya.

Just gonna drop off my my official “death of the author” disclaimer and now we gonna proceed.

Part of my Personal History with [media] series

A Personal History of Anya Jenkins

Anya Jenkins is a character first introduced to the show in season 3 as a seemingly one off demon who the Scooby Gang must defeat to get back to the status quo of their senior year in high school.

As a teenager, I did not like this character, especially after she came back as a series regular from season 4 onward, after having lost her powers and becoming human. She became a love interest long before a character standing on her own two feet and I just... I just hated her honestly. She was annoying, overly literal, always asking questions and leaning on Xander far too much. None of the rest of the main characters seemed to like her or give her much time, and so neither did I.

The benefit of age and memory is the ability to reflect on media we've consumed at various points of our lives and consider how that interacts with updated views of ourselves.

At 16 years old, as I was the year this character was introduced, I was painfully aware of my growing need to fit in. I consumed bucket loads of media to help me understand how I might best do this as I'd realised that simply asking my peers was no longer an acceptable way to gather this information.

I hated my own social awkwardness and lack of understanding what seemed basic to others, but it was that much worse when I saw it exampled in characters who could be my peers, and whose behaviour I had no hope to control or effect.

This was especially true in a show that was my own special interest for all of my teens and most of my 20s.

The first time I liked Anya in a Buffy rewatch was as I was starting to come to terms with the fact that I myself was autistic. And I don't honestly think this was an accident. I had aged, but Anya remained the same: a 1000 year old demon, yes, but also stuck in the slowly aging body first of a 18 year old who only ever lived to the age of 22.

Why do I choose to break all this down now? Because I realised last night how much this depiction of a neurodiverse near ancient being surrounded by young people in the 21st century has shaped the way I've viewed vampire and other supernatural media ever since.

youtube

Unf, would you look at that physical recoil from the surrounding Scoobies (perhaps with the exception of Tara who herself has a strong case for a very different presentation of neurodiversity).

Homework today is finding any media involving vampires or demons that does not have this moment: Where the humans in the room are faced with the inability to avoid when someone doesn't conform to their view of how the world ought to be. Mostly this sense of oddness is shown through one of many well known existing tropes such as unexpectedly cold extremities, or blood where it ought not be, too fast healing, or how they speak/move. Anya, in particular, is off putting in two these ways (how she speaks always & blood where it ought not be in one ep of season 7).

Now we finally come to the point of why. And I believe that it's because characters who live as long as Anya must, at the core of their narrative, keep themselves separate from humans (because either humans are prey, or they grow old and die). It's this fact that has the knock on of forcing old demons to distance themselves from the contemporary and constantly changing/updating cultures of the present day world — cultures cobbled together by the very humans they must in turn avoid.

If you don't practice being part of something, how can you be good at it as those who are native?

The culmination of my TED Talk is: This always happens when an ageless character breaks the rules of their narrative and forms attachment with a human from whom they're supposed to remain distant. There is almost always immediately a sort of disconnect that comes between that character and their human counterpart. Sometimes it is merely the awkwardness / discomfort of something akin to uncanny valley.

And sometimes it looks a lot like autism. I'm not saying it isn't. Anya's portrayal offers that sense of belonging-slash-discomfort to many autistic people watching, depending on where they are on their own autistic journey.

Maybe the reason Anya was never officially acknowledged by the writers as autistic is because Buffy was a show that aired primarily in the 1990s. But it's also possible that it was never acknowledged because this outcome in media is something that looks a lot like autism, but it's not the only way it is intended.

In Anya's case, as with more than one of the immortal characters of the Buffy universe, being dropped back into mortal humanity actually is an achievable goal for these immortals (desired or not / where they belong or not) which only further puts a spotlight on how well they manage to sink or swim in this human dominated culture. And, imo, only makes the subsequent portrayal the richer for it.

** This post can be read as a continuation of the thoughts I started playing with back here in this post.

#buffy #anya jenkins #actuallyautistic #neurodiversity #theory also can also apply to:#vampire diaries #interview with the vampire #twilight #I'm looking at you Armand

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mintys-corner · 1 year

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Continuing on one of my previous posts talking about what the Bullworth staff would be like when they were younger and what sort of cliques do they'd fit into

ik I didn't really say much about Galloway, and there might be more to say about him, but I'm unsure what. Tried writing some stuff for Edna and Mr Hattrick, but there wasn't much to say about them, so might just turn it into another follow-up post instead

Mr Galloway

Galloway would have definitely been a nerd. No questions asked. He'd constantly reference literature and maybe watch stage adaptations of plays performed by the drama club. He might've tried to write a novel at some point. Even though he says his alcoholism was a response to the stress Mr Hattrick placed him under, I feel like Galloway had his first drink at a rather young age ,like when he was 15 or younger, which he developed an addiction to in his adult life.

Ms. Philips

Ms. Philips, growing up, always had an interest in art. If there ever was an 'art kids' clique, she'd definitely be a member. She might’ve dabbled in sculptures, film-making etc, maybe even experimental performance art by helping out with her friends’ projects, whether it were directed related to painting or not, like giving input on colour palettes, helping paint backdrops for the sets of plays, acting in a minor role in a friend’s film, and generally offering moral support. I get the feeling that when she was younger, her artistic expression was a lot 'weirder' and less focused? the only art piece we see her make is the banana, and I feel like her art when she was younger was 'weirder', to the extent that if she wasn't as pretty, the rest of the students at her school would've thought of her as weird.

Alternatively, if there wasn't a clique of like-minded artists, she could have rejected the clique system at her school entirely, choosing instead to remain a non-clique. Although dialogue throughout the game suggests that she's physically desired by a lot of people, for some reason I like picturing her as being kind of like Beatrice or Zoe when she was younger? like, although she's attractive, she's socially outcasted by most of the student body because of her unapologetic strangeness. One of the quotes 'I keep hoping that the kids will rebel against conformity but it never lasts' does imply that she does view herself as non-conformist, which might be partly why she's more willing to give Jimmy a chance, despite the rest of the staff seeming either apathetic towards him or actively dislike him. idk but I like picturing Ms. Philips has having a concealed 'troubled' side or that her emotional maturity haven arisen by previously overcoming personal issues.

Expanding on the idea that she experienced social exclusion and ostracization because of her strangeness, it's possible that it led her to intentionally doubling down on her 'weirdness' to purposefully further distance herself, in order to feel a sense of control in the situation, so she could feel like her isolation was a personal decision and not an external circumstance forced upon her, forming her identity as 'an outsider' and likely taking pride in it. To her more juvenile mind, she might've taken it as a sign that she was a 'true artist' ,which might be an aspect of herself that she still relates to, to an extent, as she says 'it's important for the artist to position herself as autonomous, outside critique' and 'art is about being an artist, not creating art objects'

However, her doubling down likely just ended up being a protective mask, even if it was just an exaggerated version of herself, ultimately reached a point where she craved to be authentic and vulnerable. So I'm guessing after graduating from highschool, she mellowed out a lot, but her experiences may still have lingering on her psyche. I think I was kind of reaching with this one but idk

#ms philips #mr galloway #canis canem edit #bully scholarship edition #headcanon #bullworth faculty #mintys 2 cents

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mediawhorefics · 1 year

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may i ask for your favourite books this year and a quote from each of them? 💕

hum yes def ?!!!! i have more favs from this year tbh but i went with the highlights.

V for Vendetta (Alan Moore) –> "Because while the truncheon may be used in lieu of conversation, words will always retain their power. Words offer the means to meaning, and for those who will listen, the enunciation of truth. And the truth is, there is something terribly wrong with this country, isn't there? Cruelty and injustice, intolerance and oppression. And where once you had the freedom to object, to think and speak as you saw fit, you now have censors and systems of surveillance coercing your conformity and soliciting your submission. How did this happen? Who's to blame? Well certainly there are those more responsible than others, and they will be held accountable, but again truth be told, if you're looking for the guilty, you need only look into a mirror. I know why you did it. I know you were afraid. Who wouldn't be? War, terror, disease. There were a myriad of problems which conspired to corrupt your reason and rob you of your common sense."

The Kingdoms (Natasha Pulley) -> "You're my family! You were family before any of them. I've missed you even when I didn't remember you. Everything I've done since losing you has been about getting back to you. And I know I've left you behind before for other families, but not this time. I can't do it again."

The Bedlam Stacks (Natasha Pulley) –> "I’d thought perhaps I wasn’t the sort of person who could have lived close to anyone else, but that was wrong, now I was here. It would have been good, always to wake up this way."

The House in the Cerulean Sea (T.J. Klune) -> "Humanity is so weird. If we’re not laughing, we’re crying or running for our lives because monsters are trying to eat us. And they don’t even have to be real monsters. They could be the ones we make up in our heads. Don’t you think that’s weird?"

The Binding (Bridget Collins) -> "Maybe I should have followed him; but somehow it went from too soon to too late, without the right moment in between."

A Marvellous Light (Freya Markse) -> "It didn't take long to become so accustomed to something that you could describe the exact shape of its absence."

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong) -> "Trevor had passed away the night before. I’m broken in two, the message said. In two, it was the only thought I could keep, sitting in my seat, how losing a person could make more of us, make us two."

Angels in America (Tony Kushner) -> "I've lived through such terrible times and there are people who live through much worse. But you see them living anyway. When they're more spirit than body, more sores than skin, when they're burned and in agony, when flies lay eggs in the corners of the eyes of their children - they live. Death usually has to take life away. I don't know if that's just the animal. I don't know if it's not braver to die, but I recognize the habit; the addiction to being alive. So we live past hope. If I can find hope anywhere, that's it, that's the best I can do. It's so much not enough. It's so inadequate. But still bless me anyway. I want more life."

Brokeback Mountain (Annie Proulx) -> "They seized each other by the shoulders, hugged mightily, squeezing the breath out of each other, saying, son of a bitch, son of a bitch, then, and easily as the right key turns the lock tumblers, their mouths came together, and hard, Jack’s big teeth bringing blood, his hat falling to the floor, stubble rasping, wet saliva welling, and the door opening and Alma looking out for a few seconds at Ennis’s straining shoulders and shutting the door again and still they clinched, pressing chest and groin and thigh and leg together, treading on each other’s toes until they pulled apart to breathe and Ennis, not big on endearments, said what he said to his horses and his daughters, little darlin."

#book rec #about me

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wardsbackpoet · 1 year

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Okay heres the rest;

Thank you!!! Goodbye! Hope you have an amazing day night evening uh yeah!!! Hope you have a great wonderful [uh]!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Static: Yes, definitely a part of one of the playlists I’ve built myself for Tweek. I may be mistaken, but I think the first time I heard it was on recommendation of butterwholesomesurfer, who also has drawn amazing art of the fic.

No way out: I love T.S.O.L. who doesn’t, right? Okay, a bunch of people who don’t know who they are, but who needs ‘em? Also, heck yeah, it fits. Tweek feeling he’s surrounded by danger and running out of places to hide from it? Yeah, it fits.

Constantly in between: I did not know this song, but yes, I can see it fitting, especially with the way you described, and with the ‘long way away always’ part and him feeling like maybe he doesn’t have a home so much anymore and he’s so far from what he’s known.

Scratch: That definitely makes sense and would be perfect for yeah, exactly that, him feeling the best he’d ever felt, and then losing everything all at once and getting shipped off to some town he doesn’t know and where he’s alone to just like, rebuild and literally start over from scratch.

Can’t decide: Oh, fuck yes. Just that. Yeah, nailed it.

Miserable failure: Oh yeah, definitely with his internal monologue of him just always fucking everything up, and also him just wanting to live life by rules that make sense to him—like, in the way he’s a bit of an anarchist/rule-breaker but he also strictly follows his own moral code—and he gets hate for it from some kids in South Park, especially. That makes a bunch of sense.

Can’t cheat karma: Holy Fuck I love Zounds and no one ever knows who they are gndkgbfdgbdqg fuck I like you. Also yes, this is definitely a Tweek song. I think it’s in that songs for later playlist, maybe. I dunno. I also considered Fear, for obvious (I think) reasons. Personal fave has gotta be Did He Jump or Was He Pushed/The Unfree Child/My Mummy’s Gone, or, or, Dirty Squatters. That one’s just a fun song.

Space ooze: Pretty self-explanatory, & I didn’t know this song by I added it in the songs for later playlist and in another one ‘cause the first is getting way too long & I don’t wanna ‘lose’ this song.

Conform: Oh, for sure, totally his (and my) jam.

Eyes in the back of your head: Oooh I haven’t listened to the adicts in a whiiiiile. So like, just yes, obviously.

I feel bad bein’ me: You know what? Like, yeah, he doesn’t like feeling sorry for himself, but a part of him still does. Like, sure, he stays sorta positive, or he gets angry instead of sad, but he still knows he missed out and it wasn’t fair and he should’ve had it easier. So like, yeah, I think it still fits.

Ghost: Yeah, I can see that, for like, all those times he feels like no one gets him and the only person who ever really saw him is gone, right?

Oh, as a bonus, 'cause I think I asked you before if you like Pete Bernhard, his song Orphan, right? I've never been much for followin' rules -yes, Tweek I always go out and act a fool -yes, Tweek, in his past And somethin' bad would happen by and by - Duh Can't say I'm always proud of myself -Yes, Tweek But I don't wish I was somebody else - Yes, Tweek In fact, I'd rather be me than you -Yes, Tweek But a lot of people don't like me - Yup, Tweek Not my music, I mean personally - Again, just yeah They wanna tell how to act and what to say - Yes, Tweek Would you rather be an orphan or a slave? - Well come on, he was basically a slave and now he's an orphan, pretty much. Would you rather be an orphan or a slave? - And also the fact it's in question form because he's sometimes missed his old life but really, when it all boils down to it, he'd rather be an orphan than a slave so like, yeah. Right?

Anyways, I'm planning to fit that one in at some point, hopefully.

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jackoshadows · 2 years

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About that poll: Sansa is in relative safety. Brienne is on a suicide mission, being held hostage by a vengeance zombie who almost hanged her once. And Arya is on her second chance with a cult that doesn't seem to let people walk away with their secrets. Tyrion spent a good portion of Dance suicidal. Yeah, it COULD be misogyny, but it could also be people making predictions based on where the characters were left off. There's no point in upsetting yourself by assuming the worst about people.

I disagree.

Not sure I understand why Sansa is supposed to be relatively safer in a series whose call to fame is that no character is safe. Even taking into consideration the leaked OG outline which identifies which characters will make it all the way to the end.

So because Tyrion is supposedly suicidal and Arya is with the FM and Brienne is going to meet LSH in ADwD, they are all destined for death? But Sansa being a pawn in ruthless LF's games means she is safe?

This ask seriously sounds like Tyrion will die because he was sad in ADwD, the FM are going to finish Arya off, Brienne's story is going to end with LSH killing her. However, despite all of them teetering on the edge of death, it’s not plausible for LF to give Sansa the same treatment as Lysa and kick her out of the moon door?

I honestly wouldn't mind if readers chose this way, because they think that Tyrion, Arya and Brienne are self-sacrificial and will die for the greater good compared to selfish, looking out for no. 1, Sansa. But that's not what's happening here.

This is Asoiaf reddit that thinks kind hearted, compassionate Sansa is going to beat LF, go North and rule there. So Sansa is going to survive all this, but Arya going through 5 books of hardcore survival school and picking up skillsets on the way means she is destined for death?

This is Asoiaf reddit, where Arya is consistently seen as a sociopath, whose only point in the story is to kill people. They think her show ending makes sense. They still think Dany's ending is the same, only written better in the books.

So according to them apart from revolutionary Dany dying and zombie Jon probably fucking off beyond the wall, the other deaths in the series are either disabled Tyrion or non-conforming Arya and Brienne. That's certainly a choice!

And no matter how much the so called book reddit claims to dislike D&D's writing choices they still subscribe to the show's ending with Sansa and Bran in positions of power. Else, Bran would also be high up in that poll.

At it's core, it's the idea that Sansa deserves a happy ending, she's the embodiment of hope, she's light and hope and change, she's going to rule the North and change the system, marry and have 10 kids. Arya and Tyrion are seen as darker, destined for darker endings. Brienne is only there to be Jaime's love interest. So if Jaime's dying, what else is there for Brienne to do? Death it is!

And yeah, I am going to judge a predominantly white, male subreddit comprising mostly of Stannis stans. There's a reason I don't visit there anymore. After a long time, I went to check if there was a compilation of updates GRRM has given so far and this poll caught my eye.

I agree that sometimes there are valid reasons for interpreting story and character, liking/disliking characters, relationships, stories etc and it’s not ok to kneejerk cry misogyny. I have been at the receiving end of this for a long, long time because I criticize Sansa.

However, I just really don’t see how Tyrion, Brienne and Arya poll higher in terms of character death than Sansa. I just don’t. Your explanation makes no sense to me. Their deaths do not fit with their story themes and narrative arcs. GRRM’s story is not about his underdogs experiencing prejudice ALL THEIR LIVES and being outcasts and then dying. That’s just nihilism and wouldn’t be any better than the show, IMO.

#asks

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slug-cube · 2 years

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Well, you did say you wanted more asks...this is more of a ramble but I hope that's alright XD. Horikoshi calls Izuku plain but I always thought he was more cute than plain. Now the claim that he's plain looking holds up even less. He's had a glow up in the last few chapters. Speaking of Izuku being pretty, long haired adult Deku is on my agenda. I've always liked how bkdk both defy and conform to gender norms, and I've always thought that longer hair fits Deku's face and personality more. I see a lot of people draw adult Deku with either an undercut or shorter hair, and it always feels off to me. Izuku is messy, and I think his hair reflects that. I feel kind of the same about how villain Deku is often drawn, with a suit and tie. I know a lot of people like it, but Izuku doesn't have much fashion sense and Horikoshi making him a nightmarish wreck when he went full vigilante seemed much more natural to Izuku's personality. I'm not saying people that like either of these looks are terrible or anything, just that neither suits Izuku as a person very well. Also, Katsuki is allowed to have what amounts to cleavage in his hero costume, so I think this balances out the gender nonconformity by giving Izuku long hair, which is usually associated with women. Therefore, long haired adult Deku satisfies my bkdk parallels agenda as well. Yes, this rant was entirely unnecessary, but you said you like hearing from us and I have random opinions on this subject XD.

i agree with you so much though. my recent drawing of a au im doing fanart for HAS long hair izuku!!! also i do find (in my personal opinion) that long haired izuku fits him personality wise so much better. like i just think hed never cut it bc he wouldnt find a reason to, or wouldnt think about it, and it just fits his messy ass self so much. i like to think katsuki trims it every once in a while though so its not a tangled mess :]

AND I drew katsuki cleavage no need to thank me I know I know /lh

#smalltalk #rambles #asks #mhatheoriesbrainrot

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ipso-faculty · 5 months

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can you give me opinions on coining a term about being circumstantially intersex? it would be a broad term for any intersex experience.

it's like condi- from condigender. probably condintersex.

it means that one is intersex but they don't fit every definition of intersex. this includes not fitting minimalistic and limited descriptions of intersex.

and it's also a fluid experience. I myself feel more comfy under mesosex, but sometimes I'm just intersex. but other times I don't even feel intersex. I struggle to identify as such because though I'm not conformist, I don't appear GNC enough.

what do you think? no need for this label to exist if you don't find useful

If it helps people then go for it! My mentality is put it out there and see if it takes. I think condisex might be easier to say but it maybe won't be as clear. 🤔

I personally identify solidly as intersex - I coined mesosex for the benefit of a friend and some other people I know. After a bunch of discussion we've revised mesosex to mean "one has an intersex variation that doesn't conform to perisex ideas about intersex".

So there's more overlap with the new mesosex definition but the vibe I get from your ask is you also have a fluidity to your intersex identity that maybe isn't captured by mesosex?

You probably already know this but I just wanna also say that being, looking, and/or feeling GNC isn't a requirement to be intersex. Most intersex people align with a binary gender.

Which makes me wonder if hat you're trying to capture is a sense of fluidity and contextuality about your relation between intersex and gender? If so I'd recommend looking for language about being fluid about being intergender, rather than being fluid about being intersex? I know there are a bunch of subtypes of intergender listed here.

Hope that helps! Let me know what you come up with 🙂

#intersex #mesosex #condisex #condintersex #intergender #mogai requests #actuallyintersex #actually intersex

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peachiekinz · 1 year

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i don’t know who i am. i don’t know what i want. if you are looking for friendship, i can tell you that i don’t have spoons most days, but what i do have are a very particular set of interests. interests i have acquired over a very long life. interests that make me a nightmare for neurotypicals to handle. if you don’t follow me or reblog my posts, that’ll be the end of it. i will not message you, i will not bother you. but if you do, i will follow you, i will message you, and i will annoy you. 🤓🤭

hi, i’m lisa, i’m 30 and i never fucking learned how to cope healthily.

i’m weird. i’m a weirdo. i don’t fit in and i don’t wanna fit in with anyone who would mock someone for their taste in tv shows, or any other reason, for that matter. don’t mock people, it’s hurtful & not funny at all.

if you haven’t noticed yet, i love to communicate in references from tv shows & movies, in one form or another. my favourite is to share the exact clip from the thing, but it can’t always be found, second best is a gif, again if it can be found & i remember where the reference is from, which doesn’t always happen either 🫣🤭 i also really like to communicate my emotions with emojis! although, they don’t always mean what you think they mean, because apparently i don’t use emojis as dictated by social media.. but i don’t remember getting a handbook… so i just use the ones i like the most, and assume you understand the meanings 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣🤭. if you don’t, just ask 😊

although i like to use pop culture to communicate, i consider myself to be a huge noob. mainly just on the internet, but technically i’m a big noob in most aspects of life… but specifically in the sense that i’ve never put myself online, never had a community of acquaintances. i’ve just never felt comfortable displaying any part of myself in a digital form. now that’s not to say i’ve never used the internet before. i’ve been on websites. i’ve been using tumblr off and on for so long, i don’t remember when i made my first blog. all i know is it doesn’t exist anymore. and even then, i just mass-reblogged my hyperfixation of the moment, each topic with its own blog.. that was so hard to manage, i just gave up & quit tumblr. then some time after that, when i decided to put a part of myself online for the first time, i met my now- ex husband. let’s just say, it didn’t end well.. it took me finding a small community of people on twitter, of all places, to become even slightly comfortable with internet strangers knowing things about me.

while i've learned a lot from that community, it made me slightly less comfortable with large groups of people. i find socializing in general to be very draining, i think because i'm usually masking & forcing myself to conform to normalcy in order to be appealing to others. the more i unmask, the less people stay around me, and i'm not complaining. i’m pretty much entirely unable to unmask in the presence of people. groups of people, even just internet people, perceiving me is one of the worst feelings ever.. i’m terrified of having a lot of people seeing me, my posts, my thoughts & my real personality… but at the same time … i really would like some people to relate to, in more ways than just one or two things in common. i guess the only way of finding that would be to put my dumb little complaints online & hope someone vibes with it in the same way i do… 🫣🤣

#pinned post #about me #first reference is from Taken #2nd is Riverdale #also my blog name & usernames are inspired by Riverdale

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