#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30
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the older i get and the closer i am to reaching 30, the more the people around me try to deny me my age. it’s a constant ‘oh you’re just turning 29 again teehee 🤭’ or ‘dont tell your SO that, he’ll leave you for a younger model 😉’ and i just???? hate it?????????
i spent my entire teenaged years fighting for my life. i crawled through the deepest pits of my depression to cling to the promise of a life beyond that pain. i was so convinced that i was going to die young, that i would never see the grace of my age starting with a 2, let alone 3.
so im going to turn 30, and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do to stop me from loving it.
#anyway it’s still a couple years away#but man im so fucking excited for my 30s!!!!!!!!!#i made it!!!#i survived!!!#so many people never got the opportunity to be 30#im gonna enjoy every fucking second of it!#sulley speaks#sorry my coworker said something really rude to me lol#it struck a nerve
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I'm turning Future Leo years old tomorrow (39) so to celebrate I drew fLeo going through all the trials and tribulations I've been dealing with at this age. Also thought it'd be a fun opportunity to put him in some of my outfits. He understands my pain.
TED talk about aging and fLeo below here. Just my thoughts as I was drawing all this.
So 39. Seems like a big number that I’m sure feels so far off to many of my followers. I thought as much too. The oddest thing is I never felt much different from who I am now to what I was like at 25. But then I hang out with 20 something and realize: oh… there was a change. But what?
I will say this. A lot of people have told me that your 30’s will be the best years of your life and honestly I would have to agree. In my experience (as well as my friends) something happens to you in your 30′s. A calmness takes over. Not in a bad sort of way, but in a way where you no longer have any F’s to give. All those things that used to stress you out and work you up sort of fade into the background and you’re left with this immense sense of freedom. You finally come into your own and enough people have come and gone from your life that you realize that you don’t have to strive to meet everyone expectations even the ones you once set for yourself. Again I’m sure it’s a little different for everyone but this has been the overall experience of many I’ve spoken with.
Life is messy and as you age you get a better sense of what matters in the mess. Because we have only have so much energy to give, 30 something’s have to focus their energy on what really matters. It helps you hone in on the important things. For many in my age bracket, that is child rearing. For me, a single cartoon loving cat lady, it’s my personal projects and my self betterment. No one option is right and there are many many more than the few I just mentioned. It’s just about finding those things that really matter to you, and letting go of what society told you should matter.
I’ll be honest, I literally got into this fandom because of future Leo. Not necessarily because I “kinnie” him but because it was so wonderful (if even for a few minutes) to see a character my age not treated as some sagely old dude or antagonist, but the actual hero with a whole batch of flaws yet somehow still cool. You don’t get to see that much anymore in media geared towards younger audiences and the response to him from the fandom was so dang heart warming.
Middle aged characters can be cool, goofy, imperfect, and still be figuring their sh*t out. I know I still am. I thought by this age I’d have everything figured out. That was the point of growing old, right? But you don’t. You never do. But you can learn to come to terms with that, and realize that the important thing is to just enjoy the ride the best way you can.
Thanks for helping me on that journey.
#rottmnt#save rottmnt#leonardo#future leo#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#unpause rise of the tmnt#kathaynesart
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So You Want to Tumbl?
There are lots of newcomers here these days, and I thought I'd spell out how to begin and what it means to ‘curate your own dash’ for folks who haven't grown along with Tumblr for the past decade.
If you're coming from a platform where content is fed to you, Tumblr can seem barren and intimidating in the beginning. But that's actually a good thing! What it means is that you will see what you want to. If you're in a fighting mood, go find political discourse. If you're feeling fragile, make your dash nothing but art and nature.
How to begin?
You’ve made your blog and picked out your icon (seriously, choose an icon: otherwise you’re indistinguishable from bots). Feel free to be anonymous. Most of us are, and it’s wonderful to have a place that’s not tied to your Real Life. Here you can be a fandom freak (like me!) and no one judges you and your boss will never find out.
Now seek out tags that interest you. For example, I was just looking through #moss because I like peace and green things and old-growth forests. (And, apparently, beautifully naked fae-men, heh.)
Now you follow that tag (if it's a popular tag, it'll say how many followers the tag has, which is beneficial to know if you're making a post that you want to reach all its interested audience) and posts with that tag automatically fill your dash. Voila, you have begun to curate your experience!
Do Follow: tags; blogs in that tag that you like; people who comment on posts in the blog/tag you follow that seem like they’re up your alley. The more people you follow, the more varied and nuanced your dash is.
Don’t Follow: people who make comments or posts that raise your blood pressure. Topics that upset you. Discourse that has you arguing in your head for the rest of the day. PLEASE avoid toxicity. Real Life is hard enough.
How to be Social and Interact
If you want to find your tribe and interact, it’s best to start following individual blogs. (If you follow a blog, they have an opportunity to follow you back. Simply following a tag is a passive, one-way street.) To Tumbl is to be in a vast cocktail party, and you need to mingle and eavesdrop to find the things that galvanize you.
How to be seen and heard
💬Comment on posts (please always stay positive and enthusiastic: we really try to avoid toxicity). You can read other comments (and reblogged comments) by clicking on the notes:
🔁Reblog posts you like, both to show your support and to show other people what kind of things get you excited. Reblogging is essential to the tumblr ecosystem, because it’s the only way posts move around and get seen. You can also “like” posts, but that's a much more passive way to interact. Also, reblogs and your own original posts show up on your blog and prove that you're not a bot.
Create your own posts and remember that the first 20 tags you use are essential, because that’s what gets you seen (and followed) by strangers. Tags 21-30 are good for searching and archiving on your own blog, but they don’t count on the dash. Instructions on how to Make A Post.
Participate! Once you find your crowd, you’ll discover that there are always things going on. For example, in fandoms, we’ve got writing events, art events, crafting and cons. The more you try to be involved, the more new friends you’ll discover. Tumblr allows for such an organic community. One person has a thought, and many others build on that thought, creating something far greater than the sum of its parts.
There is no real algorithm beyond using those first 20 tags. This may be discouraging to folks who are used to working an algorithm, but we like it fine here, because it keeps everyone real and keeps obnoxious social climbers/capitalists out of your face.
Be patient! Just like in real life, when you find yourself in a crowd of people you don’t know, it takes a while to form connections. Watch and listen, and learn to read the room. Honestly, the thing that will win you the most friends/followers is honest enthusiasm about your space.
Don’t aim for the big names to become your new buddies. You’re more likely to find a thriving coterie among other fresh faces. Don’t assume that because they’re small or new they have nothing to offer you. Often, this is the fire that keeps any given corner of Tumblr going.
Tumblr Etiquette
NEVER REPOST (without explicit permission). Reposting is when you cut and paste from someone else’s content and then make it into a brand new post under your own blog name. That is stealing and is very condemned. Reblogging is when you use 🔁and the OP (original poster) remains attached to their post and continues to see and be in charge of interactions.
Reblog in addition to Liking. A post that you 'like' is static. You are not helping it to get to a broader audience. If the post or poster is something/someone you support, then REBLOG that sucker: it deserves to fly!
Reblog and add your own content. One of the best parts of Tumblr is that you can comment on a post, or even add to it in your reblog (as long as you’re not being a dick, okay? Or changing the topic, which is known as ‘hijacking a post’). Here is a wonderful example of the Tumblr ecosystem at work, where someone had a thought, other people had thoughts about that thought, and then a bunch of artists jumped in. Tumblr posts BUILD COMMUNITY, and you can be a part of that conversation. (Do try to refrain from reblogging with vacuous comments just because you want people to notice you rather than because you actually have something to add, though. That’s just clutter.)
The most important part of “curating your experience” is learning to Block.
You can block individual blogs, Anons, people in the comments that you find upsetting. Here's a post on How to Block.
Block entire tags or keywords if they are triggers for you. (Here is a post on how to do that.)
Blocking is self-care. It is not a platform to demonstrate to the community how much you hate someone and how they should, too. Usually the blocked person never even knows you’ve blocked them. If they do something egregious (like tell you or someone else to kill themselves), then ‘Report’ them.
You can block something (like #US Politics) if you can’t handle it at the moment, and then unblock it later. Block a friend if they’re spamming something you don’t like and then unblock them later. It’s all good! You are in control of what shows up on your dash.
But doesn’t this mean my dash will be single-topic and boring?
The simultaneous joy and pitfall in following individuals is that MANY blogs are not single-topic. You will be exposed to all kinds of reblogs/ideas/other people from the folks you chose to follow, and can decide for yourself if you (a) want to be involved in that topic, (b) are indifferent to that topic, or (c) want to run from it screaming.
Also, the blogs you follow will move from hobby/theme/passion over time, and you can move with them, appreciate their new topic without vibing with it, or drop them altogether.
And THIS is how you curate your dash, my friends.
***Install New XKit extension. It’ll make your life easier!
***Here's the Tumblr Help Center, where you can learn more details.
#welcome to tumblr#new users#tumblr#tumblr etiquette#tumblr tips#how to tumbl#mojo muses#twitter refugees#long post
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This is my analysis post in response to this wonderful ask I got from one of my anons. Thank you so much for the brain juice, my neurons thank you. So: Is Leon S. Kennedy a sex-god or is he just a regular guy? Let's talk about it.
1.1k Words | cw: suggestive sexual content
To me it’s not a controversial take to think of Leon as someone who isn’t a sex god, that is actually how I perceive Leon in my mind when it comes to sex as a whole. Sure, with the pieces I’ve already put out of him, I characterize him as someone who has chemistry with his partner and he’s already learned how to be with them in all aspects. But realistically with his current circumstances, it would probably be more close to what was initially described. He's touched deprived, pathetic, and would probably fall apart the moment someone touches him like he's a porcelain doll.
Leon isn’t a sex god at all. He’s just a guy, and by canon, he’s a loser who doesn’t get laid anyway. I also wouldn’t expect him to have many opportunities to be with other people intimately. In RE2R at least, he gives off the impression that he hasn’t done much, maybe not even kissed outside of Ada when they’re on the shuttle together. And of course, the opportunity for more gets ripped away from him when Raccoon City happens and he gets forced into military service.
If he had any chance to be with someone prior, it’s a definite no now. He just doesn’t have time when he’s constantly fighting with PTSD, depression, and immense trauma that he doesn’t even register most of the time. He’s too busy surviving, too busy being brought on these missions where he thinks it’ll be the last time he’ll be alive, and then somehow he manages to come back home just to repeat the process. Rinse and repeat, live to kill, and survive to do it again and again. That’s his routine, that was his new normal for years.
So sex or any intimate relationship is out of the question. He just stops caring, and the stress that he’s constantly dealing with in his body makes his libido plummet. Leon doesn’t go searching for it, sometimes he thinks his body doesn’t even work anymore or that his dick is about to fall off. Though in the back of his mind, there are faint little moments where he craves intimacy, not so much sex but the touch of another person who isn’t an enemy is what he wants.
Leon has had a limited handful of sexual encounters, but it’s never coming from a place of desire. He does things based on instinct, and it’s simply for stress relief. Usually, it’s a quickie, he doesn’t allow himself to feel relief beyond what’s available to him. He blocks out everything from his mind, and his body is on autopilot. The worst part about it is when it happens there’s no softness to it, it’s not necessarily rough to the point of pain, but it’s not intimate in the way he wishes it was.
That way of behaving goes on for a while until he’s older, probably when he’s hitting his 30s and it’s virtually second nature to him. He gets lucky and meets someone he likes being with, which changes the way he thinks about relationships. He now has the opportunity to experience what it’s like to be with someone outside of moral obligation. Of course, it happens over time, and it’s not instantaneous, it takes a while for him to be fully comfortable with exploring vulnerability. But the more he gets to know his partner and spends time with them, the more he realizes it isn’t so bad to want to be with somebody.
The way he acts around them is vastly different from how he’s operated in the past with previous temporary partners. He quickly realizes that he doesn’t want to do things fast or rushed and that he wants to take his time. He’s not inclined to jump headfirst into the whole sex part, instead, he focuses more on the other stuff, on the gentle touches and the yearning.
It starts with delicate kisses and slowly grows into more purposeful touching. He gets experimental, squeezes on his partner’s body a bit more, and does something that makes them gasp or moan, or they’ll touch him in a way that makes a groan rumble out of his chest. Something in his brain finally clicks and it’s like all of the blood in his body rushes down south, and for the first time, he feels aroused. It’s like his body begins to pulse, he’s getting warm, and Leon finds himself wanting more, wanting to touch and be touched.
The time he gets to have sex, and genuinely desires it, it feels different. His body is hotter, he feels more sensitive to things as his senses go into overdrive and his partner is all he can focus on. In a way, he thinks less about the expectations to perform and more about feelings. It wouldn’t happen naturally either, he’d have to be coaxed into it, reminded that it’s okay to want to experience intimacy, to crave it.
Once he feels like he’s in a safe space with another person, he’ll know it’s okay to be selfish for once, but I don’t think he’s an inherently selfish partner or person, quite the opposite. Leon is a people pleaser, so he’ll want to learn how to please his partner. He’s naturally perceptive, he pays attention to things that make them tick, that make them feel good. Like a chameleon, he adapts the same way how he does on his missions, trying to make sense of the situations before him so he can get the best result.
It’s a very emotionally charged experience for Leon, where he feels better than good, stuck in a daze the moment he decides to indulge himself in whatever is currently ahead of him. It’s so intense for him that he’ll mumble out praises, whether it be to his partner or himself, certain things will slip out.
If he’s really in the mood, he would accidentally say the L word (love) if it’s that good, but that would probably happen when he feels vulnerable and safe, so he is more on the receiving side and more submissive. I think it would be a combination of his emotions and just feeling safe in another human’s touch, one that doesn’t feel like an obligation. Either way, he’s a softie, and someone who wants intimacy so his sexual habits would reflect that with age, and when he gets a partner that’s willing to be soft and patient with him it’ll work in his favor.
©️ ovaryacted 2024. Please don’t repost, copy, translate, or feed into any AI. Support your fellow creators by reblogging, commenting, and liking!
#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy headcanons#leon kennedy imagines#leon kennedy imagine#leon kennedy drabble#leon x reader#leon kennedy#leon s kennedy#leon scott kennedy#resident evil drabble#resident evil leon#resident evil leon kennedy#resident evil fanfic#ovaryacted drabbles#ovaryacted thoughts
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Can you do a misa x reader where it's readers birthday?
Birthday girl
Misa Rodríguez x reader
It was your birthday week. You were excited to spend your first birthday with your girlfriend and in Madrid. You had moved there months ago.
But every time Misa brought it up, your smile didn't reach your eyes, and you would somehow shut down the conversation. She knew something was wrong, you never shut up about how much you love to celebrate your birthday, and now that it was almost here, you didn't even bother to plan anything.
You had opened up to her, saying how weird it would be to not have your sisters or friends from back home with you. The step to move to Madrid had been a little tough on you, but you knew the importance of becoming more independent and being closer to great job opportunities. She understood how you felt, but she had set her mind into planning the best birthday possible, you deserved more than anyone to have a special day.
"Sofie, have you ordered the cake yet?" - Misa as usual, was taking matters very seriously, like she always did when it came to basically anything she felt like she had to succeed in.
"Calm down I got it, I'll order today" - saying quickly into the phone.
"You haven't yet!?" - annoyed at her friend for struggling at her only task.
"You know, when you said we were throwing a party thought we were going clubbing or something."
"Your kidding right? I'm already struggling thinking on how I'm going to get her to Raso's apartment for the dinner. And you know she isn't really into people that are not her friends. She wouldn't stand 10 minutes inside a club."
"Right. It's fine, don't worry, we still got like 2 days."
"Two days go by like the blink of an eye"
and it did.
Misa's pov
Okay. It's 7:30 am. I have to get to practice by 8:00 sharp. Leave at 12:00, stop by to get some flowers and a café con leche from her favorite coffee shop. Should be fine. She should be waking up late anyway.
Stoping by the flower shop, I settled for a classic red rose bouquet. Besides being your favorite. They were the prettiest they had. Got the coffee and made my way home.
As soon as I opened the door I saw her laying on the couch, watching yet another episode of her comfort show.
"Good morning mi amor, these are for you..." - handing her the bouquet in front of her - "Feliz Cumpleaños baby"
She seemed on a better mood than expected, taking into consideration the last couple of days.
"Buenos dias, guapa!" - jumping up from the couch and giving me a short kiss, taking the roses from my hands - "Thank you so much amor! And coffee?!? God I love you."
"You seem in a good mood, care to share why? Besides the obvious reason?" - looking down at her big smile.
"I sorry I didn't seem so excited the last couple of days, but it wouldn't be fair to myself or to you, to not let myself celebrate right? It's the first birthday I get to spend with you Misa!"
"Only the first of many."
"Kinda cheesy." - she says walking into the kitchen to set up the flowers in a vase.
"Excuse me? Can I be romantic to my girlfriend without being judged?!" - As I followed.
"Okay since I didn't plan anything before hand, can we do whatever I want today?"
"Yes, what would that be?"
"Shower and then lunch maybe?"
"Shower and lunch it is. I'll get the shower running while you finish it up here" - A weight left my shoulders when I realized it would be no trouble getting her out of the house.
After lunch we headed back home, the car ride was quiet and peaceful, and I decided it would be a good time to bring up we had plans.
"So... Since you were kind of down this week, I decided upon making plans for you. I mean us-" but I was quickly cut off.
"Misa, birthday sex doesn't need to be planned, it's kind of mandatory"
"Well yes but, I actually planned something, for tonight!"
"You did?! And you were able to keep it a secret? Wow, you really need to be praised then." - You said it half joking.
Back to the apartment.
"Alright so we have some free time until we need to start getting ready to go..." - I let her know while unlocking the door.
"I have the perfect idea to keep us busy till then..."
Standing both at someone's door, ready for whatever this was, you were excited to say the least. Misa never disappoints and that's been proved time and time again.
Not even 5 seconds later, there was Raso opening the door.
"Hello Y/N, happy birthday!" - She screams happily. The thick Aussie accent ever so present. "Welcome to my place and your birthday spot for the night!"
Hayley was the sweetest. You two had instantly become friends once you met. Unknown to you, when her friend asked for help to set everything up, she was the first one up for it, offering to take charge of everything. She missed Australia like crazy. And knew exactly how you were feeling.
Walking in and seeing the beautiful set up, made you smile and tear up immediately. Seeing all the girls you had grown close to, since you arrived in Spain made you feel so lucky.
The party initially started out as a calm dinner but by now it was a full on celebration, loud music and good drinks.
Reader's pov
I saw Misa going out in the balcony, probably to get some air. And trailed off behind her.
"Thank you, my love. Really. It would've sucked to go through my birthday without a party." - I say looking into her eyes with the most love they could bare.
"I got you. Always. I'm so glad you liked it. Also really glad the cake was here." - Even though I didn't get the joke, I proceeded to thank her.
"This must have been a pain to organize. You know, we could of just gone clubbing." -
"That's what I said!" - Svava said from behind us. "I was looking for you two, the girls want to do karaoke!"
"I'm so gonna sing I want it that way."
"We'll be right there!" - Misa yelled through the loud music as she left us alone once more.
We stood there, just appreciating each other's presence. After sharing a kiss in a warm hug, Misa finally spoke again.
"First one down, forever to go!"
As always, would love to hear your thoughts! 🩷
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In those two years of you making the jump to be here in AEW… I mean we got to see you in so many different places, it seemed like you were out there doing your personal mission to do your soul searching, to see what the next step was going to be for you. What did some of that look like for you in those two years, finding that reason to have those dreams again?
First I just started finding a team, finding people that I can go to for help because I felt so lost, so broken, so hurt and so confused where I fit in this world. Especially in the world of wrestling that gave me so much hope, gave me so much dreams, gave me so much opportunities. I felt very lost and confused and unsure. It hurt me because of how much work I put into being in wrestling and all my dreams into it. It just felt like it got taken away from me and just kind of came crumbling down… So it took a little bit of healing-- a lot of healing. But a team really helped to build me back up and let me know that I am more than a boss, I am a CEO because I took control of my own life, I walked out with my head held up high and I found so many new passions that I never got to discover before. Wrestling has always been my one and only, my everything and to be a 30-year-old back then, now I'm 32, and to grow and to understand that there is so much more than this… Wrestling is so much more, it's so beautiful, it's more than just being in the ring. To be able to discover new love, new foundation, just new everything; it felt so freeing.
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Hello Hound!! Since it's Dialtown's 2nd anniversary, I've been planning up a few "general" related questions about your series that I've been meaning to ask, but I decided to save them up for the big day because why not? Anyways, here's what I've got, these were meant to be fun to answer so don't sweat it :]
1: How do you feel about Dialtown's success? Are you proud of how far you've come?
2: Which character was the MOST fun for you to write, and which was the most PAINFUL?
3: What is something you wish more people would talk about or just know about related to Dialtown in general?
4: If you had the opportunity to write a FULL complete, detailed life story of any of your characters, who would that be?
5: What's a character you wish you could have given more screen-time or just in general content? (Considering iirc you were trying to make sure Dialtown wasn't TOO long, so I was wondering if this ever came to mind)
6: From what I know, you've been doing the job of cosplaying several characters in the game and acting out their sprites, which one was the most fun to act out?
7: Speaking of sprites, do you have a sprite you could consider your favorite, out of ALL your characters?
8: Do you have a specific line of dialogue you could consider your favorite throughout the entire game?
9: Could you ever see Dialtown expanding into perhaps sequels or maybe even prequels? More DLCs mayhaps? Heck, maybe even a Dialtown 2 or a Chapter 4??
10: If you could make any fan-made interpretation (such as headcanons, designs, or ships) canon if given the opportunity, what do you think would be your pick?
11: What was the MOST fun part about developing Dialtown? Coming up with new characters? Writing them? Adding all the bizarre dialogue options?
12: And last but not least — on a scale of 1-10, how fun was developing Dialtown just in general?
That's all I have for now, and I'm really excited to see your answers!!
I normally don't answer this many questions, but... alright, sure, tis the season!
1: How do you feel about Dialtown's success? Are you proud of how far you've come?
Yeah, of course! I'm a lil proud, admittedly, but I'm aware of how comically little I really have to do with it all, even if I did make the game. Luck does play a LOT into it, of course. Granted, I made my share of predictions that wound up being useful, but it always comes down to lady luck at the end of the day. I've seen good projects fail and bad ones go viral. It's really all just a hodgepodge of probability and whimsy. That being said, I am very pleased with DT's success, and the community that's formed around the game! It caught me by surprise!
2: Which character was the MOST fun for you to write, and which was the most PAINFUL?
Gingi's always fun to write. And Mingus. Most painful is tough to say. Maybe Crown. I got a little weird when I wrote his full backstory, kinda caught up in the emotion Norm talks about. Never been a fan of stories getting cut short. You gotta wonder what would've happened if he'd made different choices, y'know?
3: What is something you wish more people would talk about or just know about related to Dialtown in general?
Honestly? Karen, probably. She's super underrated for sure. The fandom still loves her, but she doesn't get the same kind of attention as Oliver, Gingi, Randy, Norm. She's worth it.
4: If you had the opportunity to write a FULL complete, detailed life story of any of your characters, who would that be?
Oh, I already have. I have this monstruous 30-40 page document detailing Crown's life and entire career. It's quite a read. and quite a mind-fuck if you don't know Dialtown's universe too well.
5: What's a character you wish you could have given more screen-time or just in general content? (Considering iirc you were trying to make sure Dialtown wasn't TOO long, so I was wondering if this ever came to mind)
Oh yeah, a few characters had scenes that were cut. Stabby, Shooty, Mingus, Bunny, even Bigfoot! There's also the game's cut 6th datable, who was an interesting character with ties to other characters in the cast who I wanted to do more with. Ah, maybe one day.
6: From what I know, you've been doing the job of cosplaying several characters in the game and acting out their sprites, which one was the most fun to act out?
Bigfoot. I made the ape noises in the suit. Had to. It felt right.
7: Speaking of sprites, do you have a sprite you could consider your favorite, out of ALL your characters?
I quite like Norm's set, Mingus' too. Karen's poses too are quite good.
8: Do you have a specific line of dialogue you could consider your favorite throughout the entire game?
That answer probably changes every day. I like pretty much any scene where Mingus loses her temper.
9: Could you ever see Dialtown expanding into perhaps sequels or maybe even prequels? More DLCs mayhaps? Heck, maybe even a Dialtown 2 or a Chapter 4??
I'd love to make sequels one day! I've got a lot of ideas for where the characters/story would end up. By the time DT1 wrapped up, I'd conceptualized way too much stuff to put in one game (without it taking another few years to finish), so if I ever wanted to make sequels, I'd 100% know where to start! But, that's a later down the road conversation.
For now, I'm gonna keep working on the Roger DLC and if there's demand for more, I can go from there :)
10: If you could make any fan-made interpretation (such as headcanons, designs, or ships) canon if given the opportunity, what do you think would be your pick?
I guess I COULD do that with, like, anything. Nothing immediately springs to mind, since, y'know, I'm in control of the canon anyway. I will say, I've seen headcanons and theories that ARE scarily accurate to canon, to the point where I've feared people would just think I'm lifting stuff from the fanbase! It's a good thing I talk about these things with collaborators, huh? I've got a PAPER-TRAIL!!!
11: What was the MOST fun part about developing Dialtown? Coming up with new characters? Writing them? Adding all the bizarre dialogue options?
Finishing a new scene and realizing how stupidly long it was (without me realizing it) was always a treat. But yeah, writing the characters had to be it. Specifically any scene where a character the audience knows meets someone the audience doesn't know well (or at all), with the dynamic changing. Those are fun to write.
12: And last but not least — on a scale of 1-10, how fun was developing Dialtown just in general?
Hard question to answer. I do really wanna give a high number, but truthfully, a lot of game dev actually isn't super 'fun'. Some tasks are, granted, but many parts are a slog. Sitting and formatting dialogue, and then adding text pauses and pose changes isn't exactly a super thrilling activity. The engine itself also has some issues which I have to work around that adds to the workplace. Play-testing a scene for the 4th time isn't super fun either, or trying to figure out why the game crashes on some PCs and ONLY very rarely... Those tasks are Sisyphean to some degree.
...But, while most of those parts aren't fun, it's all still rewarding. There's a sense of accomplishment when you finish a scene. You get to look back at your hard work, remember the hours you spent typing dialogue into a text box and formatting mass amounts of pngs, painstakingly + manually getting the game's awful pre-loader to deal with the sprites right, etc... and suddenly, at the end, you've got this lil experience that people can play and enjoy. Somehow, the sum of all of those not so fun activities has created something that's going to make people laugh, feel happy. That's special. and even if some parts of development weren't super fun on their own, that's always what I remember. That in the end, all of those not so fun days mattered.
The route I agonized the most over was Oliver's. I went through a few weeks of writer's block, and now, it's one of the most popular routes in the game! Crazy how that happens. I was SURE for about a week that people would rank the route at the bottom! That's what I mean, all of the stress I went through trying to figure it out amounted to something people connected with! To think I almost CUT the route entirely!!!
And y'know, God knows Dialtown gave me something to throw myself at during a time where I REALLY needed the outlet. I'm very grateful to the project for that. So, I'll give DT an honorary 8 out of 10, even if it wasn't a consistently 8/10 experience making it heh heh! Sure glad I did, though and I'm very glad if any of you reading this had a really good time playing it! :)
Thanks for the questions!
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WILL YOU BE FAMOUS?
This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.
I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.
PICK A CARD READING
I asked my spirit guides if you would ever get the chance of being famous, pick a picture to find out.
DISCLAIMER: when doing this reading I did not quite realise the relevance of famous can range from having a viral video on TikTok to actual worldwide fame, so I will redo this with social media to worldwide sometime soon!
Pile 1 ———> Pile 2 ———> Pile 3
Pile 4 ———> Pile 5 ———> Pile 6
PILE 1
YES! Once again I received a pile based on helping others lmao, I see you guys receiving extreme wealth from speaking and acting on humanitarian causes. Heavy protesting energy. You will however receive some hate for this so be careful! You may stick to only social media but will become very abundant nonetheless.
PILE 2 (18+ themes)
YES! I see this being something you never imagined being able to do, I notice a lot of wands in this spread so you could lowkey become famous for doing porn, or other sex related work.
However, for those of you who don’t resonate with that, you may be doing something to do with the public in a way of singing or speaking. (The wands remind me of microphones.)
There is a sense of secrecy which was why I was getting sex work lol, but if not, I can see you may have some fans who will attempt to gatekeeper you as you grow.
PILE 3
YES! This pile was very hard to decipher because there’s so many ways this could go, first being that you gain social media fame from getting into a physical fight with someone (this is so weird but i saw someone sat doing a get ready with me while covering up bruises and trying to explain how they got there while assuring everyone that they won lmaoo.) Or you may be exposing a past relationship for being toxic (I feel like this would be a partner in the industry.)
I see you have an opportunity to keep this fame from dying out which can lead you to a new lover if you’re interested in that, you guys may even get married sometime in the future. If not then I definitely see business opportunities coming your way.
PILE 4
YES! This will only resonate with some of you that’s for sure, but I see that you may have a situation where a lover cheats on you (sorry) and you may record either an argument, the breakup or some big tantrum that they throw and post it to social media to humiliate them #slay. The video will certainly go viral but you will receive a lot of mixed reactions so beware. You may also have the potential or growing this fame if you stay consistent and keep it exciting.
PILE 5
Unfortunately I don’t see this in the cards for you. I see that you have a large amount of worry for hatred and criticism and you may just want to live a peaceful, quiet life. I see that you certainly value your peace and would run from the hatred if you got it. I also notice that you may already, or will have a leadership job or opportunity that you won’t want to pass up on. So don’t dwell, you have freewill so if you really desire fame, go for it.
PILE 6
I unfortunately don’t see this in the cards for you. I notice that you totally have the potential (and freewill!) to make ir happen if you really wanted. But I also see that you are never really happy or fulfilled. I think someone told you that you can’t make it happen and I feel that’s why you stopped trying. Do not give up, you never know the difference you could make.
#pick a card#tarotcommunity#tarotblr#tarot#tarot reading#tarot witch#free tarot#daily tarot#pick a pile
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Some characters in the Cyberpunk au (part 1)
I tried to make Echo and Zane more robot-like since robots are pretty much treated like people regardless of their appereance. And Garmadon's design is from when the rgb are kids so he's younger (he's not an Oni in this au).
Characters details from within the story:
Echo
Echo is created by a younger Julien (like in his 30s) as a test run for his project to build himself an assistant to deal with his chronic disease, which, despite not being deadly per se, it could still leave him impaired in the long run and therefore he needed some sort of safe net just in case.
But sadly, the prototype's AI ends up being deficient for his purpose as he is not able to process neither human emotions nor their needs, so after much deliberation, Julien decides to set him free rather than letting him collect dust in his storage.
However, Echo could not fit into the city's human society either, as people would not accept his strange speech nor behavior. This eventually culminated in an assault by one of the problematic gangs that sprouted up after the crisis, where they thrashed the helpless robot relentlessly and even managed to damage his voice module. He then was trashed out to the Outside, and from there, mauled and hopeless, he wandered aimlessly and without a purpose in life for a long time.
But at one point through his senseless journey, he stumbled upon a couple of abandoned kids crying in the middle of the woods. Even though he did not understand what their tears meant, he was curious, so from then on he started acting as their guardian.
Thanks to them, slowly but surely he began to learn about human emotions and, as he could only do little beeps to communicate, he also figured out a way to communicate without words. Although sometimes he was still lacking as a caregiver, he worked hard to develop the necessary skills to look after their (newly discovered) basic human needs, like fishing and hunting. He even takes a third kid in after Kai and Nya find another lost boy in the woods and convince him to keep him.
As they grow, he also begins to teach them how to be self-sufficient, because he is painfully aware that he would never be capable of being a better parent due to his poor programming. It is in this context when, years later when Echo finds a potential job opportunity as the ferryman to the city, the RGB urge him to take the chance, knowing that he wants to work to feel more useful and wanting to have more solo adventures.
Even though he was reluctant to leave them behind, he is now the happiest he's ever been and still looks after his children whenever they need him (even going so far as to risk his job) out of his gratitude for granting him another chance in his doomed life.
Ronin
Currently retired, he used to be a renowned mercenary and bounty hunter in his youth. However, he gradually gained more and more enemies and got himself into more and more dangerous trouble (which is why he’s a full cyborg now), until eventually, battered and grown past the age of peak physical strength, he decided to quit to save his ass.
From then on, he started looking after the demon children around the most miserable parts of their struggling segregated neighborhood in exchange for minor treasure hunts; this is why he is now protected from his remaining enemies, as many of them grew up to become members of some of the local gangs (also as an added bonus Garmadon is a pretty ominous legend and people are kind of afraid of hurting demons because of him, but more on that later).
Although he lives rather isolated from the rest of society because of his (extensive) criminal record, he still manages to make ends meet with the treasures he got from all his exploits and the profits of the little side quests he tasks the children in exchange for his care.
No he’s not charity, he’s a wine uncle, but he is an asshole to everyone (especially humans) except the kids. In fact, even though he does not give out help for free, he always ends up rewarding them with his teachings and advice and about life on top of the food and shelter, so almost every child he's taken under his wing ends up becoming pretty competent to face the harsh society they live in.
And in particular, he grows to like the RGB a lot because he recognizes their wit and appreciates how cunning they can be, sometimes even negotiating with him and being capable enough to uno reverse his little tricks on the kids like they are equals (for example, Nya stealing her brother’s bionic eye blueprints to avoid being totally dependant on Ronin for maintenance).
In fact, later on when Nya introduces him to Jay (a human) to be his apprentice as a mechanic, she somehow convinces him despite his hate for his kind.
Bonus: when he meets Jay at first he’s irritated at him because he takes his fear and shyness as racism, but the kid is just intimidated by the sassy cyborg (don't worry, eventually he figures it out and the child grows on him, Jay is too cute).
(I will talk about Jay in my next post dw)
Zane (24NE)
He’s the successful final product of Julien’s project, a kind and refined assistance nindroid knowledgeable in human care. His role is very important to him, so when his father died he lost all purpose in life and, unable to deal with his grief on top of that existential crisis, he became depressed and stagnant, trapped in his own mind inside his creator’s abandoned home and slowly wasting away due to his mental stress and a lack of maintenance now that nobody could look after him.
And he stayed in that sorry state until the RGB found the house and, upon looting it for supplies, Nya stumbled upon the nindroid lying dormant next to Julien’s bed. When she wakes him up, his rusty voice module is damaged and he can’t speak properly (Julien is shit at making those apparently), so she repairs it as best as she can and as a result, he eventually becomes their friend.
Although they were wary at first, they understood his situation, and in the end they decided to help him by introducing him to Doctor Rashid (an oc) to learn more about biology and medicine.
Speaking of, I’ll talk more about Dr. Rashid in another future post but basically he’s an oc of mine I inserted in this au, a friend of Kai and Nya’s and sort of a parental figure.
Garmadon
He is an elusive red-eyed demon, the rarest of his kind, and a criminal brought to legendary status. Now vanished and rarely ever seen amongst the city shadows, he used to be an undefeatable wandering warrior. He would spread chaos everywhere he went and, along the way, he would mercilessly murder anyone opposed to the Demon’s Rights movement.
However, one day he disappeared suddenly from the face of the earth. But his legacy carries on to this day: he is feared universally, considered an antihero by his followers and a bloodthirsty criminal by the rest.
A few months after his disappearance, though, a human woman named Misako gave birth to a demon child with ominous red eyes. Soon, people started making the connection and his mother, who by that point had developed a deep hatred towards demons, was put under such public scrutiny that she ended up abandoning him on the Outside to leave behind the city and her trauma along with it.
Sadly for Garmadon, it was too late when he finally learned that he had a son. He’d left Misako pregnant without either of them knowing, and after he was gone she had been unable to reach him. For that reason, when he came back to the city years later and at last he found out, in the end he decided to let Lloyd be with his new family, as he he realized he had no right to take him in after being absent the entirety of his short life when he already had the two loving siblings looking after him.
After that, he turned back to his wandering, and he was barely ever seen again.
#art#ninjago#ninjago cyberpunk au#ninjago zane#zane julien#ninjago ronin#ninjago echo#ninjago garmadon
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playing on my mind
content warnings: swearing, referring to Matty as tall (look we all lie for plot purposes okay), dilf Matty and rushed writing... i think that's it? word count- 3.3k ish
a/n: woah this was quick but I am nothing if not impulsive!! this is just a one-shot but if y'all want a series I might do one?? idk it depends on how inspired I am lol. but yes this is just my little blurb-thing from yesterday fleshed out into an actual story!! I'm so glad people liked the idea, I hope this doesn't disappoint <333
(I didn't proofread this so I apologise if its utterly shit </3)
“And off you go! If you need your pencils sharpened or help, make sure you raise your hand! I’ll come to see you!” You say to the group of 30 little balls of energy in front of you. 60 eyes looking up at you might seem intimidating to most, but when it's a hyperactive group of 5-year-olds; the fear wears off slightly.
It was family tree week in your classroom, and you had given your little ones the usual task of drawing their family, each set up with pieces of paper and various pencils and pens to create their masterpieces. Seeing them smile and talk about their older sisters and brothers or how much they love their parents always warmed your heart.
You originally got into teaching with every intention of working with teenagers. You were sure you shouldn't be moulding such young minds - you were never sure your mind was a very good example. But one test week in a year 1 classroom changed your outlook entirely. Seeing the pure, unadulterated joy on a young child's face was something beyond comparison.
Getting to watch them grow and develop into little people brought you so much happiness that it could never compare to standing in front of a group of grumpy teenagers. Each teen boy clearly trying to get you over to their desk to “flirt” with you, well as much firting as a 15-year-old boy can do.
Seeing a child come out of their shell, make friendships, and discover their passions made your heart warm in a way nothing else did. So as soon as you qualified you jumped at the opportunity to teach these little ones, this class might be your first but you are sure it will always be your favourite.
And of course, despite what every teacher tells you, they have a favourite student. You were adamant when you began that you really wouldn't have a favourite but then little Annie Healy came bounding into your classroom with a mop of curly hair, untamable energy and the cutest slightly wonky smile you've ever seen.
She very quickly stole your heart, always wanting to tell you stories and going off on tangents rather quickly, organising tea parties but soon getting distracted leaving you at a small table surrounded by teddy bears giving a toast. Her little body seemed to be filled with enough energy to power the world 3 times over, and you couldn't love her anymore. The idea that she would be leaving your class broke your heart every time you thought about it, despite people telling you not to get attached - you did,
You had just settled at your desk after explaining for the 4th time to Zach that sticking pencils up our noses isn't a very good idea. You ended up telling him if he pushed too far, he'd touch his brain, and soon after that, the pencils stayed firmly in his hand rather than up any nose. If any student was the problem child, it was him. You couldn't hate any student, but let's just say he's given you one too many impromptu haircuts this year to be in line for your favourite.
Soon your real favourite student stuck her arm into the air and wiggled it around in an attempt to get you to see her sooner, little Annie Healy was ever impatient- a trait that is only endearing on her. You quickly nodded and started wandering over, trying not to laugh at her large toothy grin back at you.
“Hi sweetheart, do you need some help?” you say, crouching down to her eye level, flashing a sweet smile.
“Hi miss y/n!” she began, her eyes flittering around your face before landing on your hair, and soon, her hands were stroking your head.
“Wow! I like your hair! It's got sparkly clips in it! You know I asked my daddy for some like that, and he said-” you gently placed a hand on her shoulder in an attempt to stop the tangent before it started. You knew she'd somehow end up keeping you there for 20 minutes, giving you a detailed list of all of her Barbie dolls and their jobs if you didn't redirect her quickly enough.
“Thank you, Annie! I saw your arm wiggling in the air earlier. Did you need some help?” her eyes light up as she remembered why she called you over here.
“Oh! Yeah, I want to write what's in my daddy’s hands, but I don't know how to spell it. Will you help me?” she says, bringing her attention back to her drawing and grabbing the black pencil to continue her work. It's the first time you actually looked at her drawing, and to say you were concerned would be an understatement.
Most drawings of family consist of the same basic elements; a mum, a dad, a sun in the corner, and a house that is wildly disproportionate to everything else.
So imagine your surprise when you look down to see 4 men in what seems to be leather jackets, holding various musical instruments, and a very tall dog next to them.
You blink a few times. Just checking what you're seeing is right. The lineup starts with a tall man holding a guitar, next to a slightly shorter man also holding a guitar with a mess of black scribbles on his head. Next up is a very tall man with drumsticks in his hands and a kit behind him, and finally another very tall man with a beard and a bass. The concern briefly melts away as you consider how impressive it is she knows the difference. In the bottom left corner is a black dog with very long legs and a big pink tongue sticking out, the dog was almost as tall as the first man but you're aware kids aren’t known for their skill with proportion.
No one had prepared you for this in teaching school, there was never a lecture about what to do if one of your kids does a mildly troubling family drawing of 4 men in leather jackets and a horse dog. You try to stutter a response to Annie, but no real words are leaving your mouth. Just a jumble of sounds, each one sounding more confused and stressed than the last.
You flash a look at her only to be met with a confused head tilt and sad eyes. Oh god. She thought you hated her drawing. Shit.
Time for damage control.
You make the decision then and there not to ask her about the details of her drawing, desperately trying not to make her cry.
Maybe you could go and see her mum in the playground? Yes, that's what you'll do. You'll walk her out, have a brief discussion with Mum, and make sure Annie knows her family isn't 4 men in a band and then leave her be. That sounds like the professional thing to do.
You take a deep breath and smile at Annie, and soon her downturned lips flashed that cheesy grin you knew so well. You tighten your hand on her shoulder and grab a pen, ready to help her any way she needs.
“Do you mean the word ‘guitar’ Annie?” she gives you an excited nod as you continue speaking, “Ah yes, that's a really hard word for even grown-ups to spell. Let's work it out together, hmm?”
With your mind racing you help her sound it out and label her drawing, even stopping to sharpen her black colouring pencil for her- there's a lot of black for young girls drawing but she's committed to an aesthetic, and part of you respects that.
On the walk back to the desk, you begin practising your speech in your head, trying to figure out how to ask why she’s drawing a band as her family without unknowingly offending mum. Maybe she just really likes music?
You run through your memories trying to think of her mentioning a band before, but nothing comes to mind, Annie doesn't even stay on track long enough to talk about her family. Always seeing something shiny and discussing that instead.
You flick your eyes to her one more time just to see her animatedly talking with another little girl on her table, her hands gesticulating wildly and her curls bouncing as she tells her story.
The sight calms you slightly, seeing the little girl you know so well acting exactly as she should be. You have the fleeting thought that you might be overreacting, but eventually, you collect the drawings to see Annie had dated her work “1975”. Yup, that discussion with her parents was definitely happening.
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The bell rings, and you manage to catch Annie just before she runs off into the playground without you, “Hi Annie! I have your drawing from today. Should we show it to mummy and daddy together?” her eyes light up as her curls bounce from her excited nods.
You walk hand in hand out onto the playground, crouching down you make eye contact with Annie before asking, “Can you point out your mum or dad Annie?”
She nods and begins scanning the playground. You stifle a laugh at the look of concentration on the young girl's face. Her nose is scrunched along with her eyebrows, one hand pulling at a curl by her ear and the other holding yours. Soon, you see her face brighten, and her eyes fill with joy.
“DADDY!!” is the scream that comes from the little girl as her hand shoots from her head to point to the corner of the playground, she starts dragging you before you even look up but as you do, you feel your heart drop.
As a student teacher, you'd definitely seen some hot dads, but they were still dads. Most were slightly creepy, partially balding, and talked about nothing but golf and their “annoying” wives. You were used to that kind of dad, not exactly this kind.
Standing nonchalantly in the corner of the playground was a tall man. A pile of salt and pepper curls sat on top of his head; untamed but effortlessly and obnoxiously cool. The white t-shirt he was wearing did nothing to hide the patchwork of tattoos that snaked up his arms. The low neck of the top even teased the top of his chest tattoo. Sunglasses sat on his face, they gave him an "I'm too cool" rocker vibe that, for some unknown reason, made you dizzy.
In one hand, he had a lit cigarette, something that was not allowed on school property, but the way his cheeks hollowed as he took a drag had you forgetting that rule completely. He dropped the butt of the cigarette to crush it with his heavy boots before taking a sip of the can of coke that was in his other hand.
As he noticed you coming over, a dazzling smile broke out on his face. You felt your knees weaken as you tried to brush off how hot he was.
You then realised you actually had to speak to this man. Fuck. You're not sure you even have a voice currently. If you opened your mouth, you're sure incoherent noises would come out, followed by wild hand motions trying to explain your insane behaviour.
The closer you got, the less you stared at him, feeling too intimidated to keep looking in his direction. This did mean you almost tripped 3 times, but you would rather fall than risk making eye contact with this intimidatingly attractive man.
Annie dropped your hand as you finally reached the man, and she jumped into his arms. He grunted at the force but soon began pressing kisses all over her face, smiling at her uncontrollable giggles.
Quickly, the man noticed your presence and stuck a hand out to introduce himself, “Hi! Sorry about that, you know what it's like when kids miss you. I’m Annie’s dad, Matty.”
And this is where a normal person would introduce themselves, stick their hand out, and shake Matty’s. Maybe even say their name and start talking, but oh no. Not you. You stood there motionless and just said “Matty” breathlessly to yourself 3 times over.
Time dragged on in the 10 seconds Matty stood there with his hand out. If you weren't aware of how time worked, you would swear you stood there in stilted silence for 10 minutes.
By some grace of god, little Annie Healy saved you and introduced you, “Daddy. This is Miss y/n. She wanted to come and show you my drawing."
Matty retracted his hand and pushed the sunglasses that sat on the bridge of his nose up to his mess of curls, just as wayward as his daughters. His deep brown eyes met yours as he tilted his head questioningly at your behaviour. His smile remained wide at you, his tongue swiped over his bottom lip, and you felt your heart stutter. A litany of inappropriate thoughts swirling through your mind.
He quickly diverted his attention back to his daughter, “Oh really munchkin? Is your drawing just that amazing? Is Miss y/n going to send it to all the museums?” he said whilst tickling her sides. You smiled at the pair of them watching Annie throw her head back with erratic laughter.
Finally, you manage to right yourself and begin speaking, “Right. Sorry about that, long day,” you explain, looking apologetically at Matty, who only nodded and tried to hide his widening smile at your flustered state.
“I'm just here to talk about Annie's drawing,” you pause briefly and look at Annie in her dad's arms. Not wanting to disappoint her, you form a plan in your mind. “Hey Annie, why don't you go practise some hopscotch! I'm just going to have a quick chat with your dad, okay?”
Before you’d even finished your sentence, Annie was wiggling out of her dad's arms and running off.
“She's got endless energy that one hasn't she?” you say wistfully, staring off in the direction she ran, watching her jump around and giggle with some of her friends.
“Ah like father like daughter, I suppose” Matty says, grinning at your clear love for his little girl. He feels his heart warm at your caring eyes. “So what seems to be the issue? I'm sure you're not over here because the Louvre has asked for Annie’s drawing?”
You laugh at Matty's joke, perhaps a little too hard. Nervous laughter was one of your less attractive traits, but you try to shake it off and have an actual adult conversation with Matty.
“Ah no, no phone calls from Paris yet,” you begin laughing lightly, you pull out Annie's drawing and pass it over to Matty and start to analyse his reaction as you finish speaking, “I was just coming over to ask why Annie's family portrait is seemingly a band? I wanted to make sure she knows her family isn't 4 tall men in leather jackets and a surprisingly tall horse dog.”
As you finish your sentence, Matty bursts out in hysterical laughter, folding over as his chortling laughter takes over his whole body. Your face scrunches up at his reaction, your eyebrows are pinched, and a small frown overtakes your features.
Eventually, Matty catches his breath and looks up at you only to realise how strange his reaction appears. His hand shoots up to your arm and begins to stroke it lightly as he attempts to explain himself.
Each featherlight stroke of his fingers made your breath hitch. You felt your eyes fogging over, and your ears felt as if they were stuffed with cotton wool, the surrounding sounds suddenly becoming muted.
A shake of your head brought you back to earth as you fought to focus on the words Matty was saying.
“Oh I'm so sorry, once you know the story you’ll understand my reaction” Matty began explaining with wide apologetic eyes, “basically Annie's mum isn't in the picture, it's just me and my 3 best friends,” he said smiling.
You lightly laugh and say, “Ah I'm assuming they are the man with the guitar, the one with the bass and the other with the drumsticks?” You finish with a teasing tilt of your head.
Matty's fingers encircle your wrist as that smile you've quickly grown to love appears on his face once again at your teasing.
“Yes those are the ones. You see we’re all in a band - hence all the instruments. I always tell Annie that Uncle George, Ross, and Adam are our family. So when you asked for a family drawing...”
“She drew her family!” You finish his sentence for him, staring at his hand and holding your wrist as you do. He quickly drops it, and you curse yourself for bringing it to his attention.
You wrap your arms around your stomach protectively in an attempt to hide your mounting embarrassment.
Matty smiles and starts to speak again, only to be interrupted by you, “Wait I understand that, but why did she date it ‘1975’?”
Somehow, Matty's smile grew again, “Our band is called the 1975. Weird, I know, but it comes from me being young and pretentious with a Jack Kerouac book.”
Before you could respond, Annie came bounding over and wrapped herself around her dad's leg, “Dadddd” she complained, pulling out the last letter to announce her annoyance to the world.
“Annieeee” Matty teased back in the same tone as her, picking her up as he did.
“Can we go home now? I want to see mayhem!!” she said, excitedly clapping her hands as she finished.
You shoot Matty a questioning look, and he quickly answers your silent query, “the horse dog” he says teasingly, parroting your earlier words back at you.
“Okay darling, let's get going then,” Matty says with a grunt, putting Annie down, grabbing her hand, and taking her backpack from her.
“Say bye to miss y/n Annie,” he says, smiling sweetly at you, but you can see the mischief brewing in his eyes.
His eyes keep your attention so long you almost miss Annie's sweet goodbye, “bye miss y/n! See you tomorrow! Can we talk about your sparkly clips tomorrow?” she asks with a tilt of her head.
“Of course, little miss Annie!” You say smiling at the young girl. You focus solely on her in an attempt not to get lost in her father's eyes again.
You watch them walk away but after a few steps they pause, Matty turns over his shoulder and waves with his free hand, “Bye miss y/n” he says with a teasing lilt to his voice and a flirty wink.
Before you can even process what just happened, he's strolling away casually, and all the mums in the playground are silently lusting after him.
A heavy breath leaves your chest as you start to watch him leave.
“Isn't he gorgeous” a voice behind you whispers, causing you to jump and let out a small scream. You hold a hand to your chest and look at your colleague with wild eyes.
“Oh my god, Amanda, please do not sneak up on me like that! I'm fragile” you say, now laughing at your ridiculous reaction.
“Sorry, sorry,” she begins giggling, “but isn't he just so hot? Annie was in my class last year, and I used to count down the days until parent’s evening! I mean, who wouldn't want to sit across a desk from a man who looks like that?” Amanda says, wiggling her eyebrows flirtatiously.
She begins to teasingly poke your sides at your awkward silence, and you quickly brush her off and straighten up, “Amanda! You can't talk like that about a parent!” You say, trying and failing to have any conviction in your voice.
“I can when the parent looks like that!” she says, smiling and watching Matty stroll away.
You huff at her behaviour and walk away, desperate to sit down and process what just happened.
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Your desk chair squeaks as you sit down behind your desk. You spin the chair and pick up a pen to begin marking some spelling tests from last week, but before long, you give up.
Staring off into space with endless thoughts poisoning your mind, only one thing can come out of your mouth.
“fuck."
#matty healy#matty healy fanfic#matty healy fic#matty healy fluff#matty x reader#matty healy x reader#the teacher reader obsession was too real#once again an obnoxious number of hashtags but we move#i hope you dont all hate this#unsurprisingly i do hate it <3#teacher au!
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Forgive Me, Father | Part 1
Summary: Harry is a priest with a dark secret but he's got a big heart and he's looking for someone special to share it with. When Y/n confesses her sins, he thinks she might just be the one.
A/n: Part 1 of 3 - this is 16k words. I haven't really written anything with this type of dom/sub play before - though this first part doesn't get too deep into it, you'll know it when you read it.
Warning: Dom/sub dynamics, mentions of religion and sin, floggings for pleasure and penance, mentions of sexual situations and masturbation, sexual tension, mentions of caging, punishment, cheating
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Harry was a holy man despite his particular desires. He became a priest relatively young but he took all the necessary steps; went to seminary for four years, studied theology and philosophy as an undergraduate, made his vows then became a man of the cloth. He was a deacon, his transitional role for just over a year in Manchester the first time he felt tempted by a beautiful young woman in the congregation. But he resisted. He knew the devil was trying him. But his holy side won out over his flesh.
He desired to act on his flesh, though. And he might have if he’d been given a moment alone with the young woman. He imagined what it would be like but it was easy to resist when he hadn’t really had a real opportunity. All his formative years had him at all-boys schools as well. His four years in seminary were spent amongst young men his age. It wasn’t until his fourth year at seminary that he realized he was even attracted to men. The realization was a difficult one for him at first, being a man of God, a Christian on the path to priesthood. It was troubling to him so he pushed his sexual desires down until they only manifested in his sleep with salacious dreams and waking up wet in his underwear.
When he finally became ordained and was given his own congregation he felt he’d made it at last. The road to get where he was took a long time. The diocese wouldn't take a man under 30 in many cases, so he found a place that would because he knew in his heart he was ready. There were no shortcuts to becoming a priest, a five-year-long journey at minimum. For many, the transitional period took a lot longer than it did for Harry. A year of transition as a deacon is the minimum and that’s all it took for Harry to be called by God to his own church.
Being a 27-year-old man with his own congregation in small-town Wisconsin felt daunting. Harry was not from the US and he’d never been to Wisconsin before arriving in the town. The parish was near the shores of Lake Michigan. It was quaint and quiet but it was home to nearly 100,000 people. Not so small that he'd be lacking for company.
Harry worked and lived in the same buildings for three years diligently. He was kind to his congregation, a good priest and leader, made friends with many of the people who were members, and always had a warm meal offered to him through an invite to come to the houses of families who attended his services.
He didn’t always take them up on the meals. Harry enjoyed being alone at the end of the day but most evenings he’d find himself at someone’s home eating a big dinner with people he usually considered family. On his 30th birthday, his congregation held a small surprise potluck for him after service one Sunday. He felt blessed to have such a wonderful group of followers. He truly loved them.
On a Friday evening, Mrs. Brockton had called Harry and invited him to dinner. Harry had a feeling deep down that he should say no. But he liked Mrs. Brockton. Maybe he liked her a little too much. He would never act on the carnal, it was in his vows to remain celibate, though the rules had been loosened somewhat over the years for priests, Harry was invested in the old way of doing things. God and his priesthood came first for him. The sin of lust led many to take a husband or a wife just for the sake of their flesh. Harry would not give his heart to anyone but God.
But part of that reasoning for going to the extreme with his vows was because of his unsavory desires. He never acted on them, but he fantasized and would have vivid dreams of the things he wished he could play out in real life. There was an aspect of denial of the flesh that he got off on as well. It made him feel superior in some ways; the continual denial of his lust and sin.
A man of thirty years, he was still a virgin, and happily. Proudly even. He also could count how many times in his life he'd masturbated when he became weak to his flesh. He rarely sinned in such a way but when he did it was always atoned for with a flog at his back and his chest.
Harry brought with him only his Bible when he arrived at Mr. and Mrs. Brockton's home. She told him not to bring any food or drink, but that she would have everything taken care of.
And she most certainly had everything taken care of. Down to the detail she conveniently forgot to mention, that Mr. Brockton was gone for a work trip in another city for the evening.
"I cannot stay Mrs. Brockton. I hope you do understand. We must at all times keep even the appearance of evil at bay. If others were to know I was here without Mr. Brockton they could get the wrong idea," he spoke as he clutched the Bible over his heart. The home smelled divine. She'd obviously been cooking up something wonderful and she clearly had taken the time to freshen up her appearance as well. Not that she needed it. Mrs. Brockton was a beautiful woman, even Harry could see that.
"Father Styles, please. Can we address one another casually? You can call me Natalie if you don't mind that I just call you Harry. And... look, I know I should have told you but I'm lonely and I need counsel tonight. As a friend. As someone I trust to not tell anyone my problems. George being gone tonight is the only time I'll have for this. I wanted this to be private."
Harry frowned. He didn't love it when his members called him by his first name, but it wasn't the end of the world. He'd always been warned about getting too close, too familiar. Friendly was good, but there was a line. However, he supposed just this once, and for Natalie, he could. She seemed to genuinely need him and his advice. So he relented and they sat in the living room while the dinner finished cooking in the oven.
“Fath… Harry,” Natalie said as she looked at Harry flustered, “I don’t know what to do about George. He keeps going away on these trips and I’m starting to wonder if there is something else going on.”
Harry listened to Natalie’s story. She had the feeling George was cheating on her but she had no proof. During dinner, Natalie set next to Harry and her demeanor changed. She was lighter and bubblier as the subject had shifted. Harry had given her some advice but he ultimately told Natalie that worrying over something without proof would take her eyes off God. That it did her soul no good to jump to conclusions. However, even as Harry said that he wondered himself about Mr. Brockton taking off on so many overnight trips.
After the plates were cleared and Natalie brought out a bottle of wine to share with Harry, they moved back into the living area and sat on the comfortable couch to continue their discussion. Harry had prayed with Natalie before they sipped their wine.
Natalie loved the way Harry's deep voice called to God when he spoke the prayer. The way his intense eyes would watch her as she spoke. His pink lips were kissable and his hair always looked so well-placed.
Harry was an attractive man. Many of the women in the congregation would gossip about how good-looking the priest was. Harry was tall, well-built, and gorgeous really. He was also smart and so well-behaved around all the women that it drove some of them crazy. Occasionally some would attempt to dress in a way that would attract him, and catch his eye, but it never worked. Harry was committed even if internally he was lusting.
But Mrs. Brockton, one time, had seen how Harry looked at her when she wore a particularly low-cut dress to Harry’s after he’d invited a small group over for prayer after Sunday mass. He would sometimes invite members of his congregation over for a drink and to pray after services. This wasn't too out of the ordinary.
After two glasses of wine, Harry was feeling a little loose, as he normally does under the influence. It hadn't been much wine, but he didn't need much as he usually refrained from drinking outside of these social settings. So a little was all it took.
This is when Mrs. Brockton noticed Harry's obvious gaze at her bosom. He even licked his lips and then looked down at his hands as he swallowed thickly. She saw it all. So she tested the waters and went to him before leaving with her husband.
"Will you send me off with a quick prayer, Father?" Her intentions were not pure, and Harry could feel it in the way she spoke, the way her eyes roamed his body, and the bite of her lip.
But he indulged her because denying her at that moment would raise more questions.
It was a fast little prayer. Mrs. Brockton grabbed Harry's hands in hers and as he prayed he felt her warm fingers gently move across the skin on his hands. It filled him with lust. Just the feel of her skin on his hand. When he opened his eyes, mid-prayer, a quick look, her breasts were in view again and they were delectable. Harry darted his gaze from her cleavage to her eyes and she was already looking at him with the smallest grin on her pretty face so Harry quickly shut his eyes and finished the prayer before sending everyone away.
That night was one of the rare times he masturbated. He'd grown hard in his pants as everyone was leaving and Mrs. Brockton made a show of swinging her hips and with the little hug she gave him on her way out of the door had her pressed against him and he felt lust in his heart.
He felt shame for it and he knew she saw him looking. He hated that his body wanted to have sex. Normally all of his lust would be reserved for his dreams He would wake from dreams where he'd be fucking men and women and coming. He'd dream of having soft lips sucking on his cock or he'd be doing the same. Or he'd wake to find that he wasn't in between a woman's legs licking over her soft parts. In his waking life, he got no action. But in his dreams, he was a sex maniac doing ungodly things.
He'd gone to counsel about his dreams and had been told they were only dreams and that the flesh was fighting the devil inside of him when he was asleep, but as long as he didn't act on it while he was conscious, he would be absolved. It also turned out that other men of the cloth who remained celibate were afflicted with the same type of dreams. Though, Harry knew that his were of a particular caliber, and quite taboo so he never told the clergy of the details.
But now here he sat in Mrs. Brockton's home with her husband gone and she was wearing something that rose up her thigh as she sat. Harry did his best not to notice how pretty she was or how good she smelled. His belly was full of her delicious cooking and now, on his second glass of wine, he began to feel that familiar buzz and he was getting loose. Comfortable.
Mrs. Brockton moved to sit directly next to Harry on the couch and put her hand on his knee. She'd seen how he was looking at her. And once again, her intentions were not pure. She knew Harry was a virgin. She wondered what he looked like under all the clothes he wore. He was slim and tall and seemed to be particularly buff in his chest region with a nice tight ass. She wanted a piece of him.
Harry closed his eyes when he felt Natalie's hand on his thigh, but she acted as if it was nothing while Harry was reeling inside, being the touch-starved virgin he was.
"So, that was the gist of the play we went to. I really think it would have been better if they'd cast Ramuel as Moses instead of Carter. I think Carter did a great job, but he's too young, don't you think?"
Harry was barely listening. He was just trying to work on keeping his boner down. Mrs. Brockton was beautiful and Harry was easy to rile up so her hand on his thigh was sending him. Harry didn’t normally put himself into precarious situations like this for a reason. He wasn’t sure how strong he actually was. He’d been wise all these years to stay away from circumstances that put him alone with someone he felt attracted to. But now, he was here with Mrs. Brockton and she was coming on to him, or so it seemed. He was sure he wouldn’t be able to resist her for much longer when his mind started to wander with all the possibilities.
Suddenly he stood up, "I should leave, Natalie. Thank you for the meal and I hope my advice was good."
Natalie stood quickly and grasped Harry's wrist, "Please. Finish your wine first, Harry. It's a really good bottle, expensive, and I would hate to dump the rest. I can't finish the bottle on my own," she stepped in closer looking up at the handsome man, hoping she could persuade him.
Harry sighed and nodded. He could finish his glass of wine as a way to be polite. But he really wanted to leave because he was already thickening in his pants, his imagination was taking him down the dark road toward his lustful, forbidden fantasies.
"Okay. I'll stay and finish my glass. I do need to use the bathroom, however."
The bathroom was in the hallway near the two bedrooms. Harry closed the door behind him and turned the faucet on to drown out the noise of what he was about to do.
He felt he had no choice. He couldn't be sitting in Mrs. Brockton's living room with an erection so he needed to take care of it. It wouldn't have been proper to be around her in the state he was in.
"Father forgive me..." Harry whispered under his breath as he pulled himself out of his pants and spit into his palm. He stroked himself gently and swiped over his tip before spitting down onto his penis again for better glide.
Harry kept one hand on the counter to brace himself as he held his cock in the other. His pants fell to the floor after a couple of minutes of pumping himself and the belt smacked into the tile with a clank.
He was nearly there, almost done when he heard a knock at the door then Natalie’s voice, "Are you okay, Harry? I heard something..." and then suddenly the door was opening, despite Harry having been sure he'd locked it.
Natalie stood in silence as she looked down at Harry's large, swollen cock with his fist wrapped around it. She knew that he had big hands for a reason - the better to hold that large thing with. She stepped in as Harry tried covering himself but it had been too late. She'd seen what he was doing.
"I'm so sorry, Natalie, I was..." but his words were cut off when she lowered her hand to him and put her palm over the stiff cock, and wrapped her fist as much as she could, around him.
"Don't be sorry. Please, Harry..." she dropped to her knees and kept her hand on his shaft as she looked up at him. Her free hand smoothed up his thigh, where she saw a forbidden tattoo. His thighs were well-muscled and thick. She moved her fist over Harry and looked back up at him.
"Please. Let me help. You need relief, Father," and with her eyes on his, she kissed the side of his thick shaft and Harry groaned and closed his eyes. He had been so close to orgasm and now he was suddenly caught in the haze of lust and sin. He knew it would be easy to just let her finish him off.
He was powerless to stop what was happening. It was a dream he'd had for so long to have someone sucking him off. His flesh won out at that moment. He’d never had that kind of opportunity present itself before and he was surprised by how quickly he gave in once her hand was on him. But it felt so good. Better than he realized it would.
And Natalie's mouth was soft and warm and wet and Harry came so fast - as he always did because he was hard up. She slurped his cock and drank him down when he came with a moan and he pressed the back of her head down over him on instinct.
Harry tried apologizing again. He dressed in haste but Natalie assured him he had nothing to worry about with her. He'd only need to ask forgiveness from God but his secret was safe with her as long as her secret was safe with him.
And this led to other, more intimate encounters with Mrs. Brockton. She and Harry had begun a small affair. She took his virginity and taught him how to eat, as she called it. Harry had deep guilt about what he'd done with a married member of his congregation but she seemed to love it. She would even beg him at times. He had a hard time resisting her once he’d gotten a taste.
Soon, Harry learned that he was quite dominant when it came to sex. Mrs. Brockton loved all of it. He'd fuck her in the rectory and the confessional, but usually, it happened in the privacy of his parsonage. He would gag her and bind her to keep her quiet and then have her tied down and spread out so he could fuck her in any way she could take it. Harry particularly got a taste for anal. Natalie had never had her bum fucked before Harry but he was slowly turning into a man who craved and fantasized about sex all the time and he played out some of his unusual kinks with Natalie.
He issued her spankings with his hand and occasionally his flog, which he also used as his punishment for carnal, sinful thoughts, now it was used to whip Mrs. Brockton. He couldn't do it often, though, because Mr. Brockton would have taken note of course.
Eventually, though, Mrs. Brockton wasn't enough. Harry's appetite for the carnal was something unshakable. He'd been introduced to sex in the flesh and not just in his dreams, and now he couldn't have it often enough and with Natalie being married she wasn't available as he needed.
He'd find himself going into Chicago or Milwaukee and meeting women and men at bars. He began experimenting with what he liked and he really liked just about everything. He loved pain and he loved to issue pain. Part of it was because of the guilt he felt and the pain was a way to ask for forgiveness, but eventually, Harry stopped feeling too bad about wanting to have sex. And after a year of exploring, he felt like all the time he’d resisted temptation had been such a waste now that he knew what it was like. Harry was a sexual being but still held onto his spirituality.
He enjoyed being a priest but he also enjoyed being a man who loved to fuck. Loving God and fucking were quite equal in his eyes and now he would not ever be without either. But continuing in his priesthood in this way must change eventually. Harry began to come up with a plan that could have him being a spiritual leader who could also have deranged sex when he pleased.
It took some more years before Harry's plan started to come to fruition. He remained a priest in small-town Wisconsin while he enjoyed his flesh most nights of the week. Once, he had a young woman stay in his parsonage in a small cage, which she did so willingly. Harry would come and go as needed but when he'd return to his parsonage he'd bring his little pet out and fuck her dumb and then put her back in her cage.
Of course, she had a job and she had taken off only a week of work so she could be imprisoned and degraded by the hot priest. So that didn't last because she had responsibilities. But Harry wished it could have lasted forever. He thought how nice it would be to find someone that would want to be his willing captive to cage. To have someone he could keep as his submissive pet and do with as he pleased. He obviously wanted the person to also enjoy the scenario with him, he wasn't a monster. But now it was his goal. To find someone who could be his and whom he could do with as he pleased. A submissive who would never want to leave him.
He'd tried it with various people. At first, they liked it. Some wanted it more than he did. But it was a matter of finding the right one. Someone who he could connect with and feel engaged with and vice versa. He had a young man with him for a few weeks (which was the longest stretch he'd had one person as his pet) but eventually Harry came to realize that he needed something else. Someone else. The young man was lovely and might have been a great submissive companion for years to come, but it wasn't quite it. So he continued his search for the perfect person.
One Sunday during service, Harry caught the eye of a beautiful woman. He immediately imagined her waiting for him in his cage, tied up, blindfolded, red swollen stripes over her back and her thighs from the flog... Someone to keep forever. He tried to push the feelings down as much as he could while he was in the middle of his prayer but she was incredibly alluring.
Many times he did find appealing men and women but after speaking to them for a bit realized they wouldn't be quite fit for the job. It took a very particular kind of person to do the things Harry required. So he intended on meeting this beautiful woman and chatting with her. Typically, he could tell rather quickly if they could be a candidate or not. Normally people were not. Most of the time he settled for a good evening of sex instead when he would have much preferred to have found his companion.
But Harry was also alluring. In fact, once he began having sex regularly more and more people would recognize how attractive and persuasive the priest could be. His confidence increased immeasurably once he began having sex. His charm was undeniable. The man was irresistible to many. But of course, being a priest, most did not know the dark secrets he had. He kept his escapades quiet. Mrs. Brockton knew that he was kinky but they’d long ago stopped their tryst and he could trust her to not say a word to anyone.
The young woman who he spotted during his prayer was near the end of the aisle toward the front and to Harry, it appeared she was alone. The woman took note of how the attractive priest kept looking her way. His light green eyes lingering in her direction, the way at one point after a bit of a gaze he smiled shyly and looked down and she could swear she saw him blush. But of course, Harry was acting. He was putting on a show for her. To draw her in.
And it worked. When the service was over, everyone flocked to Harry as they so often did. The young woman lingered and waited for the crowd to thin before she approached the priest who looked like a god.
Harry saw her coming toward him from his peripheral. He knew she'd come to him. So when he turned to her he acted surprised and flattered that the new girl was coming to greet him.
And she ate up his act, combined with the underlying sensual nature of the way he would lean in to speak and his voice would drop so that only she could hear, the way he'd touch his lips "innocently", and the way his eyes took her in as she spoke, roaming her face and her neck as if to size her up. She felt like the only person in the world at that moment. But he was still very priestly, Godly, at the same time.
Harry decided to take his time with this one. He wanted to invite her over right away for a drink to feel her out but he wanted to play up the godly priest as much as he could. It would be a real test when it came time to learn what she liked. Would his being a priest deter her? If so, she wasn't the one. But, if it only drew her in more, if she was more intrigued by his godliness and still wanted to explore with him then she could be a good fit.
Harry had plans that evening to join a family at their home for dinner. The Sothebys were quite wealthy and Harry very much enjoyed being invited for dinner. They had the most lavish meals with the best wine and bourbon. Harry never drank much but he did enjoy a vintage cabernet sauvignon from time to time, or an aged, smooth bourbon on the rocks.
Tonight’s dinner had been a special occasion, according to Mrs. Sotheby. They had their niece with them to visit from out of town for a while. Harry was given a glass of a cab and directed to sit in the parlor with Mr. Sotheby and his son for a chit-chat while the ladies finished dinner. Harry truly did care for all members of the parish. He loved them and his empathy and kindness toward them were evident. Everyone trusted Harry and he was the best listener. It’s what made him so good at being a priest. Not only did he love God and knew the word well, he understood humans and empathized as a sinner himself. He loved listening to his members and giving advice. He enjoyed praying for them and with them. Despite Harry’s dark secret, his heart was big and he was loving.
When everyone was ushered into the dining room to eat, Harry sat in the spot he normally took closest to the window where the sun would oftentimes be shining in, but on this day, the sky was overcast and there was a cool breeze coming in from the North. Winter was on its way.
Harry had finished his glass of wine as Mrs. Sotheby brought in a tray with Beef Wellington surrounded by roasted vegetables. It looked delicious and Harry was hungry for Mrs. Sotheby’s cooking. And he just knew she must have used prime beef tenderloin in the Wellington because the Sotheby’s did not skimp on the quality of ingredients for all the years he’d been dining with them.
“Father, you’re low on wine. Here, let’s get that taken care of…” Mrs. Sotheby spoke as she turned toward the kitchen, “Y/n!! Please bring that bottle of Caymus with you, hon!”
Nearly fifteen seconds later she was there. Harry’s fantasy girl. He saw her enter the dining room with a bottle of wine in one hand and a bowl of bearnaise in the other.
She didn’t look at him immediately but he knew she was aware of him. She must have been. This dinner was made with him in mind, and it was also welcome for her visit.
Harry remained stoic as he watched her place the bowl down near the large serving platter and then she looked up to let her eyes land on the priest’s. She smiled and he watched her take a deep breath as she rounded the table toward him, “Here, Father… let me top you off,” her sweet voice could almost be tasted. Harry watched her move as she lifted the bottle and poured the red liquid into his glass. Her neck was slender and her jaw was soft and feminine. Her hair was pinned back on the sides, which was different than how she wore it a couple of hours earlier at mass. Harry noted the slight natural blush over her cheeks and he thanked her when she placed the bottle down on the table.
Harry was pleased when she sat next to him. She didn’t speak much but ate her food and smiled throughout. Harry noted she only had one glass of wine and that she seemed a tiny bit nervous. He wondered if he should address her nervousness with her in private or not. He was searching for any excuse to speak to her alone.
Dinner was amazing. Harry had his tummy full and two glasses of wine during dinner and then afterward a glass of bourbon on the rocks as he normally did. The men sat in the parlor once again to chat and wind down as the women cleaned up. But Harry didn’t like this setup anymore. He enjoyed chatting with Mr. Sotheby and his son, but he wanted to see Y/n and assist in clean up, like the gentleman that he was.
“I think I’d like to help clean up the kitchen with the ladies if you don’t mind, gentleman,” Harry spoke as he got up from the cushy seat.
In the kitchen, Mrs. Sotheby and Y/n were giggling about something and wrapping the food when Harry entered. Y/n quickly turned to see him and her eyes widened when she looked at Mrs. Sotheby. Both women stopped what they were doing and looked at one another with a secret in their eyes.
“Father, what can I help you with?” Mrs. Sotheby rang out as she continued her task.
Harry strode into the room casually with the confidence of a man who knew what he was doing, “I’m here to help, ladies. Felt wrong to let you two do all the clean up when you’ve also cooked everything and made this dinner possible. The least I can do is help out.”
Harry began to roll up his sleeves as he walked toward the sink, intent on washing some dishes and assisting in the best way he could.
“That’s really not necessary, Father. We love having you join us. I know you always insist on helping but truly, I’ve got Y/n here with me now and I think you should enjoy your conversation with Hank.”
Harry looked toward Y/n and she was wrapping up the vegetables with a small, shy smile on her face as she looked down. Adorable, he thought. He began to rinse the dishes in the sink and turned to look at Mrs. Sotheby, “I knew you’d say that. But I’d rather serve than sit.” Harry loved using corny sayings like that. His congregation ate it up and they always thought of Harry as someone who loved telling a good dad joke here and there. And he did. He enjoyed his dual life and cherished both of his sides.
When the dishes were done and the kitchen was clean, Harry finished off his glass of bourbon and prayed with the family before leaving. He had everyone stand together in a small circle and hold hands, being sure to stand near Y/n. Her fingers were cold in his large palm but he cupped her hand in his securely, occasionally loosening and then tightening around her fingers.
The prayer was a quick one but the feel of Harry’s hand around Y/n’s had her heart pounding. Harry’s work there was done. He’d eaten a good meal, had plenty to drink which would put him right to sleep, got to watch sweet Y/n blush and listen to her speak on various topics from time to time, and got her a bit flustered as well even though he hadn’t really done much. She seemed to fit his type quite perfectly.
He would have much preferred to have brought her to his bed to play with her at the end of the night, but he knew he needed to suss her out first. She was, after all, a niece of someone wealthy in the congregation and he couldn’t just go off and fuck her and then invite her to be his submissive companion. The work of getting the right one was a slow, arduous process that couldn’t be rushed. Especially when it came to someone that might be attending his services. He’d like her as a pet immediately but he could be patient to be precise in his actions.
The following week at mass Y/n was there again. Harry was happy to see her pretty face amongst the congregation and she kept her eyes on him as he spoke. Harry used his incredible self-control to not look her way as often as he wanted. And his self-control was certainly a thing he used in many circumstances. He was, after all, a man who’d abstained from sex for 30 years and who barely allowed himself to masturbate. But now, he’d been having sex for nearly three years and he no longer abstained from it or masturbation. But his self-control was still incredible and so not looking toward Y/n was not that difficult.
Harry had wanted to reach out to her during the week, an excuse to talk to her under the guise of giving her advice or counsel if she chose. But he stopped himself during the few moments of weakness in his mind. It also helped that he had a woman in his parsonage with him for a few days the week after meeting Y/n. So he wasn’t hard up, but he did think of Y/n every day, which was not his norm. The woman was meant to stay longer but Harry dismissed her Sunday morning before mass. They’d had their fun together, but Harry was not interested any longer. He was interested in Y/n now.
When service had come to an end, Y/n left quickly, which put a frown on Harry’s face. He spoke with his members and prayed with them as he always did and when he was invited to dinner with the Fortanels, he declined this time. He wanted to find Y/n and perhaps have a moment with her. He would never get anywhere with figuring out anything about her if he didn’t try to have contact with her.
So he did what any man would do who wanted to get to know a woman he was interested in, he called her. Not her directly, but he dialed the Sotheby’s number and asked to speak with Y/n when Mr. Sotheby answered the call, “Hi. It’s Father Harry here. I just wanted to see if I could speak with Y/n for a moment. I felt something in my heart that needed to be said to her today and I couldn’t find her after mass this afternoon.”
When Y/n spoke into the receiver Harry couldn’t stop his smile from taking over. He told her something he made up as his reason for the call and asked her if she’d like to join him the following evening for a small prayer group that he held on Mondays in his parsonage. Of course, Y/n was quick to say yes. She was intrigued by the handsome priest.
That evening, Harry didn’t have one of his regulars come over for a night in his bed as he normally would. He resorted to what many single people do, masturbation. He thought of Y/n’s smooth skin and her lips, her big round eyes, and her shy demeanor. On the very surface she seemed like a good candidate, but how could he know if she truly would fit into Harry’s world the way he wanted until he got to know her better?
Before the prayer meeting, where there would only be three others in attendance, Harry set up his room, put away his flog and ties, covered the cage, and locked his bedroom door for good measure. Then he set up the living space where everyone would sit, knowing that two of those coming were a couple and would sit next to one another, which meant Y/n would inevitably be sitting next to Harry. He readied coffee and pulled out two bottles of wine and lit a candle. It was his typical setup. Harry’s home was very plain. He didn’t have many things to clutter the space. Only a few pictures of his family from London and one or two knick-knacks that had been given to him over the years. His wooden floors had a large carpet covering the center and the furniture he used had been there when he moved in.
Y/n arrived first. Harry had a feeling she would. She was shy and smiley and polite off the bat. Harry ushered her in and gently put his hand on her low back, just the slightest touch. He didn’t want to seem like a creep. But with the way she blushed, he knew she liked it. She accepted a glass of wine and sat in one of the chairs Harry had put in the circle.
“Is there anything you’d like to speak with me about one-on-one before the other two arrive, Y/n?” Harry tilted his head and looked at the young woman with his own glass of wine in hand as he sat next to her.
“Oh, well, I think I would like to talk about something. Um…” but before she could continue there was a knock at the door to indicate the others had arrived. Harry gave her a disappointed look, “Stay after the meeting with me and we can talk about it then,” he spoke as he got up to open the door for the new arrivals.
Everyone had their fill of coffee and wine during the hour-long prayer meeting. Half of the time was taken up by Arthur speaking about his concern for the state of the world. Usually, the prayer meetings would include discussion and then prayer based on what was discussed, this time was the same. Y/n barely spoke but Harry could sense her eyes on him for most of the meeting. They sat next to one another in the small little circle and when they ended with prayer Harry took her hand in his and like the time before when he’d held her hand in prayer, he loosened and tightened his grip around her hand slowly, like a comforting squeeze. But when Y/n suddenly squeezed his hand back Harry smiled to himself as he continued speaking his prayer. Her squeeze was not subtle, and neither was the way she used her thumb to gently drag it along the inside of his palm.
When the couple left, finally, Harry and Y/n sat back in their respective spots next to one another and Harry prompted her to continue where she left off earlier.
Y/n’s cheeks were wine flushed, but she was not drunk, just cozy and warm. She licked her lips and sat up straight as if she was called on in school to answer the question in front of the class. She wiggled her bottom in her seat and cleared her throat, “I have been thinking of going to confession but I haven’t made it yet because it’s so hard to admit sometimes when I’m in sin. I’m here with my aunt and uncle because of things I did back home. Things I was interested in and it’s awful and embarrassing but I’m hoping here I can become new again and move on from my old ways.”
Harry rolled his lips into his mouth and squinted at Y/n as she spoke. He didn’t know of her past, “Tell me, dear. What have you done? You can skip going to the confessional if you do it here with me. It’s the same really. I’d be the one listening to your sins anyway. I won’t judge you. That’s not for me to do.
He was very curious as to what she’d done that led her to move in with her aunt and uncle temporarily and get away from her hometown. She was an adult who could have made her own choices and gone to any town, but she chose to come here to get away from whatever it was she’d done.
Y/n laughed and looked at her lap where her hands were clasped together before she lifted her head to put her gaze on the priest, “Sexual sin. I’ve had sex and I know I should wait for marriage, but it’s so hard because it feels so good. It feels like God wants us to have sex often, he made us to enjoy it, right? And that’s my problem. I just like it and I don’t feel as guilty about it as I should,” she looked back down and bit her lip. Her cheeks were especially pink now. From embarrassment or shame.
Harry was very interested. The girl was into sex and admittedly so. But who wasn’t really? Most of his congregation came to him for sins of lust when it came time to confess. There were hardly any virgins amongst his members, not even the ones who were single and publicly claimed to be.
“Your feelings are normal, dear. Sex is a very important part of how we express love and pleasure and it’s hard to deny ourselves of the flesh at times. We are all guilty of the sin of lust. Most humans are not free of that burden,” Harry kept his eyes on the girl and watched as she shook her head. She turned to look up at Harry again.
“Well, yes, Father. That’s true. But my problem is deeper I think. It’s not just the sin of lust and premarital sex, it’s sexual deviancy,” she whispered the word deviancy like it was a bad word, “I like things most people do not and it’s frowned upon, especially as a Christian. It’s part of why I moved here. I was found out,” she wrung her hands together in her lap and closed her eyes and sighed before she opened them back up to continue, “I was caught with a married man. He’d left me tied to his bed thinking his wife was going to be gone for the day. But she returned while I was there on her bed and now I’m here. Trying to be better.”
Harry was silent. He didn’t know how to respond to this beautiful young woman admitting to him the things she just had. And so openly. He wanted to ask her more about what she liked but felt that would be too much too soon. Inappropriate in fact. But he was bursting to know.
“I see. Look, we all have things that are hidden and dark. We do our best to deal with them in the kindest way we can in this life. The best thing you can do is to be kind to yourself. Don’t doubt you’re a wonderful person just because you have a preference for certain things,” Harry put his hand on her shoulder to emphasize his words. And he meant them. He always felt humans were too hard on themselves when it came to sins of lust and sex. He obviously had a soft spot for those who had lustful sin.
He watched Y/n as she leaned her head to the side toward where Harry’s hand was placed on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and stretched her neck toward his hand but then opened her eyes and looked at the priest, “Thank you, Father. That makes me feel so much better. It’s worse really, than just what I said but I’m too embarrassed to tell you more. I’m sure you’d cast me out like the devil if you knew,” she laughed and smiled at the man. His clear, bright eyes were on hers intently and they were beautiful. His smile revealed dimples on his cheeks and the bit of scruff on his face was so attractive that Y/n forced herself to not imagine what it would feel like being scraped against her face, or in between her thighs.
Harry noted how her gaze lingered on his. The way she looked at his mouth and how she looked desperate a little. The poor thing was probably trying to be good but deep down she just wanted to be bad. But to Harry, she was beginning to fill in all the little boxes he needed to have checked in order to find the right one. He couldn’t know for sure just yet, but he’d continue to find out more about her and make a determination soon. He just needed more time. He wanted to do this right.
Before she left they had agreed upon a schedule for Harry to counsel her and pray with her for her sins. They’d meet together every other day in his parsonage for as long as she needed. Which was just perfect for Harry. He’d get to look at the cute thing as she confessed her dark deeds to him and he’d lead her in prayer and with guidance. And Harry knew she found him attractive. Most people did really, but with Y/n, it excited him in a way he hadn’t been excited about in a long time.
At their first one-on-one meeting, Y/n had withdrawn a bit into herself. She seemed down and gave the priest very little information like she had the first night after their prayer meeting. He wondered if the wine had been a factor in the way she so honestly expressed herself that night. He’d need to work on that with her. Relying on alcohol as a way to feel more expressive and comfortable was worse to Harry than it was to have sex outside of marriage.
He still gave her gentle advice, prayed with her, and kissed her forehead before she left. He could tell she was struggling. But he could see how she was looking at him when he’d speak, how she kept crossing her legs and would squeeze her thighs tightly together, her flushed cheeks, and that was all he needed to know that she was aching for relief. Perhaps she was so overwhelmed with need and lust that she was pushing herself to close up. Which was probably a normal reaction. Harry had gone through the same when he first fought with himself to stop his sudden need to have sex. He would be patient with her.
In their following meeting, Harry was armed with a bit more information. After she left their one-on-one meeting he decided to search for her on social media. She had a pretty decent presence online. She was popular, had a lot of friends back home, and seemed like a normal young woman as far as he could tell. But then the further he dug he found some people who had mentioned her in their posts. Particularly one woman who seemed to greatly dislike her.
He came to find out that the man that Y/n had been caught with was this woman’s husband. She dragged Y/n and exposed her secrets in detail online. According to the woman, her husband had been seduced, and then he tied her to the bed as he left to go get help which is when the wife arrived home, as the man was out “getting help”. He learned that Y/n was completely naked in their bed where she was tied at the wrists and ankles. She had marks over her thighs, her stomach, and her back, likely from being spanked, but the wife posed that Y/n had done it to herself as a way to make everyone feel sorry for her.
This said a few things to Harry. First, was that he believed Y/n and that when she said she’d been seeing the man it was likely not the first time they’d been together, nor the first time she’d been tied to his bed and spanked. And with the man having gone to “get help” it was more likely part of their play and he was leaving her as punishment. Y/n liked to be punished.
Harry was thankful for social media but he was also angry that her secrets had been exposed in such a heartless way. Of course, the woman thought that her husband was totally innocent, but that’s Christian society for you in a nutshell, putting all the blame on the woman and absolving the man. Harry tried to lead his congregation in a way that allowed for empathy and love no matter what. He would have been pissed at any of his followers if they had ousted a fellow member in this way.
Y/n was quiet at first when she arrived at their second one-on-one meeting. But her face looked brighter this time and she seemed to be more talkative after a little bit of Harry nudging her in the right direction. He wouldn’t tell her about what he knew. He hoped that she’d tell him in her own time, though. And she did. Not at that meeting but the following week she’d poured her soul out to him.
Of course, it didn’t just happen that she handed the priest all of this information out of the blue. The lead-up during their meetings had given her the boost she needed to tell him of all her sins.
There were a lot of longing gazes from Y/n’s end and Harry would give her soft touches and sly grins. Harry would allow himself to work his eyes down over her face and to her neck as she spoke, purposely letting her see how he couldn’t keep his eyes off her. He’d rub her shoulders and speak quietly into her ear even though it was just the two of them in the living area of his parsonage. He admitted to her how he would sometimes wake from dreams of feeling lust and the need to repent himself. He brought up his flog even to see her reaction and react she did.
When he described to her how some mornings he’d wake from a sexual dream he’d flog himself to calm his nerves and he watched as her breathing picked up. She watched his lips as he spoke and he’d often catch her drifting her gaze downward towards his lap. He knew she wanted more from him but she’d never attempt it with the holy priest. Which was precisely what he hoped. He needed her to first see him as a leader and a holy man. He’d soon reveal his other persona when the time was right. If it was ever right.
So, on the day that she finally broke down and told him all of her sins it was like a weight was lifted from her. She paused between breaths and composed herself as she spoke but she got everything out and Harry couldn’t have been more enamored. She was perfect.
“I was accused of seducing that man, Tom, and then his excuse for tying me there was to stop me from tempting him while he went to get help. Which is ridiculous because look at me, I’m no match for any grown man. He didn’t need help,” she sighed and laughed in a scoff, “You see, he’d left me there so he could go run an errand. We had a thing where he’d tie me up and leave me after punishment, like spanking me and smacking me, and well, anyway… I like that sort of thing. I like being punished and worse really. It’s embarrassing when I’m speaking to you like this but I feel good to be able to say it out loud.”
She continued and Harry watched her as he took his forefinger and lightly rubbed it over his lips, up and down. He purposely gazed at her and allowed his features to soften over her face and she noticed the way he was looking at her. She would pause frequently when she took note of the look of hunger on his face but would shake her head as if to tell herself to snap out of it.
“He told everyone that I’d beat myself. My bottom, my back, thighs, everything. But he did it. No one believed me. It’s crazy that he tied me to his bed while I was naked with large handprints all over my body and a tie over my eyes so I couldn’t see and yet, people thought he not only didn’t put his hands on me but that he tied me to the bed with my legs spread apart with his sperm literally dripping from me in order to go get help,” her laugh was unamused. “They all believed him. They thought I beat myself and stripped nude and masturbated in his bed and that he had to tie me down with my legs open and put something on my eyes as a way to restrain me.”
But she didn’t stop her confession, “And I’ve done that before with others too. I like it. Being captive, being punished. I don’t know why I like it; I just do. Makes me feel so vulnerable and needed. Like I’m so wanted that they keep me tied down so I can’t leave. I know I shouldn’t like that or want something like that. It’s awful. It probably sounds like I’m completely deranged. I guess I am a little. But I do feel better after talking with you this past week. You’ve helped me a lot Father, and I’m glad I met you.”
Harry was willing away his erection. He’d abstained from having sex since he’d started these little sessions with Y/n. Not from masturbating, but from sex with others. And he was feeling excited at her full confession. She could be just what he needed. He could be just what she needed.
“Thank you for being so honest and open with me, Y/n. This is a step in the right direction. What we say to one another here will remain between just us. Won’t it?” Harry lifted his brows as he moved her hair from off her shoulder to behind her ear. She stiffened at his touch and her mouth parted for a moment before she nodded at the priest.
“Good. We are all sinners, dear. There’s not one of us better than the other,” Harry kept his voice low as he spoke.
Y/n smiled and spoke, “Well, except you, Father. You’re a holy man and better than anyone I’ve ever met. I can just feel it all around. You exude love and compassion. You listen so closely to everyone and you remember everything about them. You’re such a good soul with a wonderful heart. I can only hope to be like you one day.”
Harry nodded with a grin, “You are like me already, Y/n. You don’t know everything about me. I’m a human man. I am still a sinner and that’s what makes me so compassionate toward others. Because we are all in this world struggling to do what is right. Some of us have a worse time with sin than others. Sometimes you might be surprised at what kinds of sin a priest might have hidden.” Harry watched her face closely. Her gaze on him still indicated longing and need. She was very attracted to him, and Harry knew it. He could have probably taken her then to his bedroom and done very awful and wonderful things to her and made her his at last. But he refrained. He had to follow his plan accordingly. She was so close to being a perfect fit for him. He just needed to be sure she was the one.
The day of the following meeting was chilly and windy and cold. A winter storm seemed to be coming in and Harry had considered telling Y/n to stay home but before he had the chance to call the Sotheby’s she was already at his door, bundled up in her winter coat with a scarf around her neck and a wool cap on her head. Her nose was red and she wasn’t wearing gloves. Harry pulled her in and the wind from outside wafted into his warm parsonage. Harry hadn’t prepared for her quite yet, as it was about an hour before she was due to arrive. He had a few things strewn about, nothing crazy but he always liked to tidy before he had guests.
He closed the door behind her and stood in front of her to begin unwrapping her scarf from her neck in silence. She looked up at him with her big, sweet eyes and Harry looked down at her while he pulled the scarf off, a grin on his face. She just stood and smiled back up at him as he undid her coat, and pulled it off her shoulders, hanging it by the door on the coat hook. She stayed quiet watching him. He found it a little odd but he didn’t mind the new interaction. It’s how he’d want to treat her if she were his. He’d help her undress and take care of her. She liked it too he could tell.
Harry looked down to see she hadn’t worn gloves so he took her hands into his and rubbed over them before putting his mouth to his hands cupped around hers and blew warm air over her fingers. She sighed and smiled up at him. That smile was going to kill him. He repeated blowing warm air over her hands a few times until his lips met her fingertips and he pressed the tiniest kiss to the pads of the fingers under his mouth then he laughed a breath through his nose and plucked the wool cap from her head, “There you go. Feel better? Want me to make you some tea?”
Harry saw it written all over her face. She didn’t want tea, or anything to drink. She didn’t want him to be nice to her. She wanted something she was too scared to ask for but she smiled and nodded because of her naturally submissive manner, “Yeah. Hot tea could be nice, Father.”
Harry smirked down at the lovely girl and smoothed her hair a bit. It had gotten staticky from the way he’d pulled the cap from her head. She laughed shyly when she realized what he was doing and then she followed him to his kitchen.
When they passed into the kitchen Harry realized he hadn’t closed the door to his bedroom since he hadn’t been prepared for her yet. There wasn’t anything too revealing lying out, except his flog at the end of the bed, but he wasn’t sure if she’d seen it or not.
He made tea and they sat in the little kitchen together and made small talk.
“You arrived early. I hadn’t expected you to come yet,” Harry said as he looked down at his mug and then back up at the beautiful young woman.
Y/n nodded, “I know. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to miss the chance of coming by for a bit. The weather channel made it seem like the storm would be very bad and I wondered if I waited too long I might not have been able to come here at all. Sorry.”
Harry reached a hand out to place over Y/n’s and tsk’d at her, “Don’t be sorry, dear. I’m happy you came. I was going to call you and cancel because it does look like a bad one coming. It’s already started to snow,” he looked over her shoulder and out the window where white snow was blowing wild in the air with the wind.
One tea turned into two and then Y/n asked Harry if they could pray together, “I’m feeling very particular today. It’s a hard day for me. I’ve been trying to keep my thoughts on God and do what I know is right but I can’t seem to get it straight in my mind. My sinful thoughts are very strong today.”
“That’s good that you told me. We all have hard days. It’s better to be honest about everything than it is to hide it. Hiding it only makes the longing worse,” Harry wanted to stop the façade himself. His longing was getting worse as well. And now that she was here with him alone, the ominous storm approaching, and his neglected cock that he hadn’t had a chance to take care of before she arrived (another thing he hadn’t gotten to due to her early arrival, something he always took care of before she came), he wanted to take care of both of their needs, their longings.
“Is it a hard day for you, Father? I saw the flog on your bed when we passed your room. You told me before how you use it to atone for your sinful thoughts,” she bit her lip after asking and looked at him with round eyes.
Harry nodded with a smile, “You saw that then. Yes. Today is a hard day. And every day before this one as well,” was all he gave her.
Harry took her hands in his and they prayed, bowing their heads over the small table. And like every other time they held hands in prayer, they gently touched and squeezed at the other, a silent bid for something more that had gone unspoken. But it was never quite enough for Y/n to believe it meant more than just a man being kind and loving.
When they released their hands Y/n felt lighter again. She loved it when Harry prayed. It was like he helped wipe her sins away with his words and encouragement. But she wondered if there was more that could be done.
“Father Harry?” She asked with his eyes already on hers. He nodded at her to continue, “Yes?”
She swallowed and looked out of the kitchen toward where his bedroom was, “What is it like to be whipped with the flog? Do you feel atoned when you’re done? Does it feel like the pain takes away your sins?”
Harry’s heartbeat was rapid. There was a definite shift in the way Y/n was today than she had been at any of the other meetings. It was very subtle but she was different today. Needy.
Harry clenched his jaw and looked over his shoulder toward his room and then back to Y/n, “Sometimes it does feel like it helps me repent. But other times it's part of the sin.”
Y/n was silent as she took his words in. She cocked her head to the side and squished her brows together in confusion, “Part of the sin? What does that mean?”
Harry took a deep breath and reached a hand out to take one of Y/n’s in his. He looked down at her hand with a faint smile on his face before looking back into her pretty eyes, “It means sometimes it has nothing to do with atonement or being repentant. Sometimes I enjoy the pain.”
Y/n watched as Harry grazed his thumb over her knuckles and spoke without looking back into Harry’s eyes, “Would you… maybe flog me? Show me what it feels like? Maybe it can help me feel better about my sinful nature.”
Harry looked out the window and he couldn’t see beyond the white flurries. The wind was harsh and he could hear the whistle of the gale as it forced its way into the cracks of the glass panes. He put his eyes back on Y/n and she was still looking down at where her hand was in his.
“That would require you to remove some clothes. I don’t know that you’d feel comfortable with that in front of me,” Harry was getting heated. He was imagining the way the whip would bite into her skin. Not too hard, but just enough that she could really feel it and it would leave a mark. Or two. Or three.
Y/n shot her eyes up to Harry’s and nodded, “I would be okay with that. Would you?
Harry smiled, wider than he intended. This was exactly what he wanted. This was a step toward what he’d felt was necessary for his plan. She was asking him.
Her pupils were blown out in her eyes already, and her mouth parted. She wanted to be flogged but not to atone for her sins. She liked it and he knew she would. She also understood the probable implications of her request after she’d already admitted to him how much she enjoyed a bit of pain, spankings, and punishment. But she couldn’t help herself. And she could play it off as if she only meant to use it as a way to repent if he declined or called her out.
But Harry wouldn’t call her out. He would go along with her in this as long as she wanted. They could both easily play it off, yet they both would understand what was actually going on. It would be a way to ease into what was coming. Harry was quite pleased.
“Okay, my dear. If that is what you want. We’ll go to my room. I have a set up for you to hold onto while I flog your back for repentance.”
Y/n hadn’t expected Harry’s room to be livelier than the rest of the house. His bedroom revealed more of his personality than the rest of the parsonage did. The set-up Harry referred to was a bar hung from the ceiling with cuffs at each end. There was art hung on the walls, a bookshelf stuffed with books, a dresser with jars atop, and a lamp. His bed was large and looked comfortable. And of course, in the corner of the room was a large item covered with a sheet that went nearly to the ceiling and was probably eight feet wide and eight feet long.
“What is that, Father?” Y/n pointed toward the covered item in the corner and walked toward it.
Harry stopped her midway, “That’s just something I use for a hobby of mine. Let’s get to it shall we?” He redirected her away from the cage that had gone unused for longer than Harry liked.
Harry took the flog in his hand and turned to Y/n, “You’ll need to take your sweater and anything underneath off for this. You can face away from me so I don’t see anything if you’re more comfortable with that. And you can decide if you want your hands in the cuffs to restrain you, or if you’d just like to hold onto them. While you remove your sweater, I’m going to clean this,” and he left the room to sanitize the flog. He had used it on himself only that morning and even though he didn’t cut himself deep enough to bleed, he still found it necessary to clean before using it on Y/n.
Harry took his time to get into the smooth leather and wipe all around the parts with warm soapy water. Then he used alcohol wipes over the flog to finish it off. And before he entered the room he took a moment to breathe and calm himself. He was half hard in his pants with the images that ran through his brain. When he felt somewhat settled he returned to the room to see Y/n with her hand over her breasts facing him.
Harry couldn’t help himself from trailing his eyes down her frame and over her skin and to the swell of her soft breasts which she’d hidden only partly from his view. When he looked back at her face he realized she looked happy and excited even. He swallowed heavily as he walked toward her.
“Wrists in the cuffs or just holding onto them?” He asked her as he put the flog down on his bed.
“I’d like them inside the cuffs. Please,” she smiled and Harry nodded. He had a feeling she’d want to be properly restrained.
Harry closed his eyes at the, please. He was going to have to restrain himself from ravishing her. Because he knew she wanted that. He knew she’d beg him and want whatever he gave her. He swallowed again before walking toward her where she stood near the bar.
“I won’t look, but I have to assist you in putting your wrists in here. Lift up.”
Y/n removed her palms from over her breasts and raised them toward the bar. Harry concentrated on not looking down as he secured her wrists in place. Self-control was something he was not rivaled in. As much as he desired to look down over her skin and peek at her nipples and soft breasts his will to control himself was stronger. He had a presence to maintain.
“Father, why do you have this in your bedroom if you are unable to use it without assistance?” Y/n’s voice was small and cautious. She didn’t want to overstep any boundaries but she was too curious to not ask. Harry knew she would.
Harry smirked and looked at her in the eyes, doing well to not drop his gaze to her tits, “For just this very purpose, Y/n. Sometimes others request a flogging too. I help them.”
Both of Y/n’s wrists were secured in the cuffs after Harry’s careful adjustments of the Velcro. She was bare on the top, wearing only jeans on her bottom half. Harry slowly walked behind Y/n and picked up the flog from his bed. The flog he used was black and thin with a single leather strip, knotted at the end. The handle was braided leather, perfect for gripping onto.
Her back was smooth and clear. So pretty, it was almost a shame that she wanted it marked up. Almost. Harry gulped down his saliva and before he could begin he stepped in close to Y/n and stood behind her, craning his neck down to speak near to her ear.
“This will hurt a bit. I won’t break the skin but it’s going to bruise and feel very tender. Tell me to stop if it’s too much for you,” he could smell her shampoo from this proximity. She turned her head to the side towards his face and nodded. He could tell her breathing had deepened. He gently swept her hair from her back and pushed it over her shoulder to the front so that her back was unobstructed. He kept close to her, looking down at her neck as he did so, his fingers ghosting over her neck.
Harry stepped back and looked up at the ceiling, “Speak with me a prayer of forgiveness, Y/n,” he closed his eyes and waited a moment before beginning, “Lord God, please look at my sins and mistakes with a merciful eye and forgive me.”
Y/n repeated the words and Harry landed the flog onto her back for the first time, a strike that caused her to inhale a sharp gasp and squeeze her eyes closed. It shocked her system and her body jolted forward. She gasped for air as soon as the sensation dulled on her flesh and turned into a hot sting across her back.
Harry continued, “I confess to you Almighty God that I have sinned.”
Y/n spoke the words and braced herself for the next stripe to her back. It came from the opposite shoulder this time, and downward toward her spine. She grunted and fell forward, her nails digging into her palms, as she endured her second hit.
“My mortal sin is that of lust. My flesh has been weak and I have given in to temptation.”
Her words were spoken in a softer voice, but still clear and with determination. Harry smiled as he issued her another strike. Once again, Y/n was swung forward, her head dropping downward and she gasped in a small yelp, clenching her jaw when the new lash crossed the middle of her back.
Harry watched as her smooth skin turned red, a raised welt left in the path of the leather. As promised, he did not break the skin, but it was tender and it was going to be sore.
“For this sin and all sins that I have committed in my life, I am seeking repentance.”
Y/n’s voice came out shaky. Harry watched as her arms quivered as she tried holding herself up. It had only been three strikes and she was already quite fatigued; he could tell. Harry repeated raising the flog and bringing it down in a quick motion over the center of her back near her spine.
This time Y/n crossed her legs together and gasped in a breathy pitch as she put most of her weight on her arms and wobbled forward slightly. Harry couldn’t see her breasts but he knew the sight would have been glorious.
Harry wondered if it was too much. He watched her body for a moment as she regained her composure, “Y/n, are you okay? Do you want to stop?”
She was quick to shake her head, “No, Father. Let’s finish the prayer. Please. I need it.”
Harry closed his eyes for a moment and took a breath. There it was again, the, please. He enjoyed this. He imagined how it felt on her skin, he knew the sting and burn well. He could almost taste it in his mouth, the pain of the lashings. And it was a good taste. He bit down and clenched his jaw in satisfaction with the moment.
“Count these stripes as my penance, oh Lord God, you who are all good and deserving of my love and devotion.”
It took a moment for Y/n to repeat the words but when she did Harry realized it then. It was in her breathy voice, the way her back was arched and ready for the next hit, and how she crossed her legs with the last lashing, still squeezed together, thighs clenched.
With a smile, Harry brought the leather down onto her flesh again and to his delight, the sound that left Y/n’s mouth was a moan. A sound typically dedicated to the result of something pleasurable happening.
“I resolve with the help of your grace to keep my eyes on you, Holy Father. Amen.”
Harry listened to the way Y/n spoke her words in a slow breathy voice. Her neck was draped downward and her arm muscles were straining against her weight. She was enjoying this. Perhaps in the same way Harry did.
The sixth and final lash on her back drew a louder moan out of her mouth. After she shifted forward she lulled her head to the side and Harry could see her mouth was open. Her breaths were labored, heavy.
Harry put the flog down and stood behind Y/n, gently placing his hands on the back of her ribs, “Y/n, no more lashings. Now listen to my words of forgiveness and then you’ll say for his mercy endures forever.”
She nodded and hummed and pushed herself up to stand fully on her feet. Harry kept his hands lightly on her back and looked down at her neck, as he spoke his absolution in a voice barely above a whisper, “Give thanks to the Lord for he is good.”
“For his mercy endures forever,” her voice was surer now, still breathy but less shaky.
Harry was tempted to dip his mouth down onto the curve of her neck and press his lips on the small freckle that he saw under her jaw. She still had her neck bared to him, her head hung to the side and Harry wondered if she was doing it on purpose, exposing her neck to him. Offering herself to him in a way. He would need her to verbalize it if so.
Harry leaned down, his hands ghosting down her sides as he put his face closer to her neck but he didn’t allow his lips to touch her skin, “You did very good, Y/n. I’m going to release you now.”
Harry removed each wrist and stayed in his spot behind her. He remained close and Y/n made no attempt to move from her spot. She turned her head to the side and Harry could see her profile, blinking, a smile on her face. If she turned further she’d be able to see his face but there was the chance that her breasts would be in view.
“Thank you, Father,” Y/n spoke in a soft whisper as she lifted her hands to cover her breasts and turned her head to look at him from over her shoulder.
Harry didn’t move from his spot as he looked over her face slowly. He didn’t let his gaze drop below her shoulders. She wasn’t his to ogle. Not yet anyway. But he could recognize that she was beautiful. And perfect.
“Stay right here. I’m going to get something for your back,” Harry was quick to get what was needed for Y/n’s welts. A warm, damp cloth and some ointment.
When he came back into the room, Y/n was still standing exactly where he left her, “Lie down on the bed on your stomach and I’ll help you with this.”
Harry approached her as she arranged herself on his bed, tummy down. Harry was already anticipating the moment he could rinse her back and then rub the cream over her. He’d touched her gently while she was restrained, but now he would be permitted to put his hand into complete contact with her skin, to really touch her and take care of her wounds.
Y/n put her arms upward, elbows bent, and her face to the side so her cheek was down and she could see Harry behind her from the peripheral. He kneeled on the bed next to her and gently placed the warm rag over her back to soothe the burn, “Are you okay? How do you feel, Y/n?”
Y/n took a deep breath and closed her eyes when Harry began to blot the damp rag down her back, “I feel very good, Father,” her voice was still breathy and soft.
Harry hummed in response with a nod to himself as he continued gently dabbing the rage over her back. When it was time to put the ointment over her he rubbed it into his palms to warm it, as he noticed she had goosebumps over her flesh.
His wide palms slowly caressed her back and smoothed the cream over her sores. He watched as Y/n bit her lip, her eyes still closed. Harry smiled. He used both hands to knead gently down her spine and apply the ointment. It took longer than it should have but Harry enjoyed the way her skin felt under his hands. She was soft and open for him. So willing and sweet.
“You did very well, Y/n. I think this looks good,” he spoke with his palms still flat on her low back, “I’ll leave you to put your sweater on, I can tell you’re cold.”
Harry stood from the bed with the rag and the jar of cream when Y/n pushed herself up and turned her head, “Wait, Father. I need to confess one more thing.”
Harry stopped his motions and turned to see her. Her top half was still hidden, breasts down into the comforter below her. He ticked his chin downward to indicate for her to continue.
“I… really liked that. More than I should. I feel bad because it didn’t mean to me what it was meant to mean. It’s my sin. I can’t control it. I’m sorry, Father,” she looked down at her forearm that was holding her up and Harry could see how red and bitten her lips looked. The delicate thing. She was a lot like him. The flogging was both a penance and a guilty pleasure.
“I understand. I sometimes see it the same way, Y/n. Your pain still acts as penance. Even if you somehow enjoy it. We can talk about this when you’ve dressed. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, though,” Harry turned and left the room. He was nearly quivering at what had just happened. He was keyed up from not only flogging the beautiful young woman but all of her admissions to him about what she liked and what she felt was her sin. The girl couldn’t be more perfect for him.
Harry put on another pot of tea and took note of the storm outside. The snow had piled against the parsonage and the wind bellowed outside. It would be too dangerous for her to walk or be driven back to the Sotheby’s in this weather. A fact that he quietly delighted in.
Y/n stepped into the kitchen behind Harry and leaned against the counter to watch him with the tea setup. The two did not speak for a few moments, both lost in their own minds about the reality they were suddenly in. Y/n having been honest with the priest about her sins and the priest reeling over the similarities of their preferences.
Harry turned to look at the pretty girl standing next to him, “You will likely need to stay until the storm subsides,” he looked past Y/n out the window that was on the opposite wall, “perhaps even all night.”
She turned to look out the window and Harry saw a smile crawl onto her face. His own expression was similar, pleased, expectant.
They took tea in his living room and the only sounds that could be heard were the gale winds outside. Y/n looked at Harry, her eyes wide and curious. When Harry looked up at her after a sip of his hot tea he felt he could understand her without a word being spoken.
“Tell me what your thoughts are, Y/n,” he set the teacup down and leaned back into the couch, his hands in his lap.
Y/n breathed out a small laugh and looked down at her lap. She was on the same couch as Harry but separated by a cushion between them.
With her head down she began to speak, “I feel very happy with you, safe. I don’t feel judged or looked down upon,” she lifted her head to look up at the man, his light green eyes taking her in, listening intently as always.
Harry nodded and stayed silent. He wanted her to continue.
Y/n swallowed and fiddled with her fingers, “Thank you for that, Father,” she leaned forward and took a sip of her tea, before leaning back into the couch and cupping the mug into her hands to keep them warm.
She continued, “I’m sure you cannot relate to having lustful thoughts in your heart like me. But I do wonder, what are your sinful thoughts that you feel are so hard that you flog yourself to repent? You said today was a hard day for you.”
Harry let the side of his mouth quirk up in a smile as he looked down. She was a curious girl.
“I’m a man, Y/n. I have lustful thoughts in my heart as most humans do. God has created us to procreate and he made sex feel very good,” Harry was sure to emphasize the words feel very good, “for a reason. It’s in the worst of people and the holiest of us.”
There was a moment of quiet when the wind changed direction and Harry watched Y/n move on her cushion as she tucked a foot under her bottom and turned toward him, “What was hard for you today, Father? The sin you had to atone for.”
Harry’s throat bobbed as he swallowed and he took a breath, “Lust.”
Harry’s eyes were severe on Y/n’s and he watched her lips part softly and her eyes soften, “Really? I imagine it must be very hard being a priest with your vows and all. Have you ever had a relationship, Father?”
Harry flattened his lips and squinted at the girl. Before he could respond Y/n spoke quickly, “I’m sorry! You don't have to answer. I’m sometimes too curious for my own good and you’re so interesting to me. Don’t answer if it’s too much.”
Harry chuckled and sipped his tea, slowly placing it down on the table next to the couch before putting his eyes back on the pretty girl, “I have had relationships, yes. It isn’t against the priesthood per se. Not anymore. But my own vows of celibacy and dedication to God, it is against them. And yes. It’s very hard being a priest and feeling lust.”
“Celibacy. So… you’ve never…” Y/n closed her mouth and looked down at the floor for a moment. “That makes me feel very ashamed of what I’ve done and how I feel lately. I feel like I have not been honest with you, but now knowing this about you makes me feel even worse for the things I’ve imagined,” she looked down at her lap and shook her head.
Harry reached a hand out to cover hers, “Do not feel ashamed. I would not look at you differently no matter your confession to me because I’m a sinner just the same. And I haven’t followed my vows. I love God and I love being a priest, but I love other things as well. Those things are between me and God. He is my judge and he knows my heart.”
Harry knew Y/n wasn’t dumb. He knew he’d told her enough that she could piece things together on her own. And her expression revealed to him just as much. She nodded with a small smile at his words and looked down at his hand covering her.
Keeping her eyes on Harry’s, Y/n slowly brought her free hand down to Harry’s and then lifted his hand upward. She leaned down to press her lips to his knuckles and slowly kissed each one. Harry’s mouth dropped open as he watched her kiss his hand. Her soft lips on each of his knuckles were innocent but the way she looked up into his eyes as she did so was not.
Harry breathed out heavily at the contact and let her continue. She manipulated his hand so that his palm was facing upward and she kissed the center of his hand and up to his fingers. She placed small pecks to the pads of each finger and kept her eyes on his. The intimate gesture was more than just a kind act of reverence.
With his hand held in both of hers, she kept her lips over his fingers as she spoke to him, “I love your hands, Father,” she closed her eyes and continued kissing along his fingertips. Harry watched her in awe.
She kept her eyes closed and spoke again, “I dreamt of you last night, and it was the best dream,” her voice was a whisper, “it was sinful, dirty, and I didn’t want to wake from it. But I liked it,” she continued kissing his fingers. When her tongue gently swiped over the pad of his thumb Harry inhaled a sharp breath and then lifted his free hand and carded his fingers through her hair gently.
The moment she felt Harry’s hand in her hair she opened her eyes again to look at the priest and very cautiously, slowly kissed the tip of his thumb before parting her lips and sucking just the very tip into her mouth. When she saw that Harry was not opposed to this action, she took more of his thumb into her mouth, their eyes locked. Harry tilted his head and watched her, his chest rising and falling rapidly, his mouth dropped open, nostrils flaring.
Harry had no expectations of her doing anything like this, but he wasn’t too particularly surprised. He knew she had at least a small crush on him, he hoped it was more than just a small crush and he was not disappointed in the way she was responding to him.
“You’re a good girl, Y/n. We cannot help the way God has made us,” Harry’s voice came out a bit cinched and breathy. He was enjoying this display very much.
Y/n kept her eyes on Harry’s as she took his pointer finger into her mouth and did the same as she had with his thumb. Her mouth was warm and soft over Harry’s digits. This was clearly a sexual gesture and Harry would not stop her from continuing. He kept his eyes on hers and watched the lustful show of Y/n lips wrapped around his finger.
When she removed her mouth from his finger she spoke, “Can I… Please, Father, can I,” she got out of her seat, making Harry remove his hand from her hair, and she dropped onto her knees. Putting her hands on the priest’s knees she looked up at him from her kneeling position, “Father, I’ll do whatever you want. I just, please, let me revere you and you can do whatever you please to me. We can go to God together for our penance, to atone. Just let it be with me that you sin. I’ll take it on, a sacrifice to your goodness, Father. I’m not worthy of you, but I’m begging you to pity me, let me take your sins and your punishment. I’ll do it happily if you let me serve you.”
The moment suddenly changed with her vocalization of what she wanted. Harry grasped her chin and shook his head with a soft expression, “I don’t think you realize what you’re asking me, Y/n. I’m being very serious right now. That’s what you want? Do you know what it means to do what you say? I need to know what you think that means.”
Y/n let out the tiniest whimper at the feel of his hands on her jaw holding her face to look at him, “I… I want to give myself completely to you, I need it. Want it. So badly. But only if you are pleased with me. Only if you want me. But only me.”
Harry wasn’t sure she understood what she was asking. Typically when he took someone as his submissive there was an agreement in place already. He would seek out someone who was previously looking for that kind of arrangement. He felt it was in his best interest, and hers, to be upfront with her.
“I do things most priests would be appalled by, Y/n. My sexual appetite is something I keep very private and separate from my job. I have been searching for someone to keep. Someone who wants to be mine. Someone who will submit and comply at all times to me. A person who would be a willing companion for me. Submissive to me. To allow me to dominate,” Harry paused to monitor her expression. She nodded subtly her eyes still on his.
“Yes. It’s exactly what I want, Father. Anything you want is everything I want,” she spoke in a small voice and Harry smiled. Her answer was good. It was just what he was looking for.
Y/n grasped Harry’s forearm that held her jaw and pulled his hand upward to her mouth again. With her eyes on his and her knees still on the floor at his feet, she spoke in a whisper, “Please, Father,” as he sucked his middle finger into her mouth, her tongue flicking over the underside of his finger.
Harry had had enough. He dragged her upward to his lap where she climbed over him, her thighs straddling his. He pulled her into his body and pressed his mouth over hers once and for all. A kiss that had them moaning and desperate. Her lips on his felt soft and wanton. She trembled in his arms and on his lap as he licked over her tongue. He smoothed his hand up under her sweater and onto her back softly and she winced at the feel from the welts. He ghosted his hands over the raised skin and then lowered his mouth to her jaw and then down to her neck on the little freckle he’d seen earlier. He licked the spot and then sucked the tiniest bruise under her jaw and her gasp told him she enjoyed it.
Harry lowered his mouth down her neck and softly bit at the skin, then he stood up, holding onto her thighs, and walked her to his bedroom in haste where he placed her on his large, soft bed.
“Take the sweater off,” Harry commanded and watched her peel the fabric off of her body. She then moved to take her bra off and the moment her breasts were bare before him Harry groaned and crawled onto the bed next to her, pressing her down flat.
Harry latched his mouth to her breasts and slowly licked over the exposed skin, biting in tiny nips as he kissed down to underneath the flesh of her round tits. Y/n sucked in sharp breaths at the pinch of the bites he gave her and rubbed her thighs together when she moved her hand into his hair.
Harry moved his warm mouth down her body slowly, with generous use of his tongue.
Harry pushed himself up and placed his hands on both sides of her body, caging her ribs, “Roll over. Let me kiss your wounds.”
Y/n bit her lip and moved to her stomach and Harry’s soft touch on her back was followed by his wet lips kissing over the pink and raised skin from the flogging. He applied open-mouthed kisses down the length of each red stripe on her back and he noted how she wiggled her bum and rocked her hips. He smirked as he continued kissing over her shoulder blade, his hand gently caressing her sides.
When he’d finished on her back he sat up and held onto the back of her neck, keeping her head down. Her face was turned, cheek smushed into the comforter.
“You’ll be mine to dominate as long as you want to be my submissive pet. But only if you give me your full consent because I need you to enjoy this with me. I’ve been looking for a long time, Y/n,” Harry spoke softly and lowered his mouth to kiss at her shoulder before continuing, his hot breath falling over her skin as he whispered his words, “You’ll submit to me in every way, taking my punishments, and allow me to have you sexually, emotionally, and spiritually. How does that sound?” He continued a path of kisses over her shoulder and back as he waited for her to speak, his hand still at the back of her neck.
Y/n nodded with her lip quivering, “Yes. Please. I only expect to be taken care of, to be loved, and in return, I’ll take care of you in any way you like. It’s all I’ve wanted. To belong to someone. To give myself completely to someone that cherishes me. And I truly want to belong to you, Father. But only me. No one else.”
Harry sat up and pulled Y/n gently upward by her neck to face him. He could see tears in her eyes. She was getting emotional.
Harry let go of her neck and brought a hand up to wipe at the tear that had fallen under her eye with his thumb, “There, there, darling. You’re already so perfect for me. Beautiful and sweet. I don’t want anyone but you. You and I will be very compatible,” Harry kept his hand on her face, softly swiping his thumb over her cheek. Y/n closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. She was perfect.
“I just want to be yours, Father,” she said softly, her eyes still closed.
Harry softly pressed his mouth to the edge of hers and then kissed where her tears had fallen, “Then you shall be mine now.”
Part 2*
I know this one doesn’t have smut - but prepare yourself for part 2 - it’s dirty and sexy.
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Pick a Pile:
Wheel of Life Reading
Disclaimer: These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purpose.
Warnings:There are piles that contain more personal subjects such as sexuality.
Hello Siren, how are you?
This reading is an overview of your life, it addresses the following subjects: Relationships, Career, Finances, Spirituality, Your Physical, Your Intellectual and a General Advice. To make the reading broader, you can choose your option in each area, totaling 21 options (3 for each). I hope you like it!!
How to pick a pile
When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise! .
Relationships
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Clover - Ship - Letter
Currently, relationships are just a desire, but not something close to you. You don't have a romantic partner or love interest in your daily life. It doesn't mean that you don't want this to happen, but it seems that lately, you haven't had any luck with that. You can't seem to find your ideal romantic partner due to several obstacles. It seems that you always have a rival, or your job takes up most of your time. When you finally find someone that you're interested in, that person is already in a relationship. Don't worry; the deck says it's your destiny to have a good relationship someday. Maybe you'll meet your ideal match at the beginning of your Saturn Return (around the age of 30), and you two will be people from far away places, but you'll communicate a lot. So depending on your age, your relationships are about to blossom or you're going to have to wait a long time.
Pile 2
Clover - Moon - Cloud
In relationships, you feel uncertain, but you are serene about the situation. It is not something that worries you, and you let it happen naturally. You know that many of our relationships are fleeting, and sometimes they are intense, while other times they simply do not exist. You are also not someone who has never been in a relationship, and you know that they can often be abusive, trapping and hurting you, just as you also have the ability to hurt others. Everything has both sides. At the moment, you're contemplating the opportunities of a relationship more than actually engaging in one. It seems like you enjoy reading novels more than living one. Changes may come in your love life, but they will come naturally over time. There's no point in forcing it.
Pile 3
Rider - Dog - Moon
You already have someone in mind when talking about love; someone you already talk to and interact with. Your insecurity now is that nothing changes. The same things are happening all the time, and you even moved away because nothing interesting is happening anymore. This person is your partner, and they certainly have feelings for you (I just can't say if they're loving; maybe they're more about friendship anyway). Well, if you just want to be friends and companions, that's great. If you want to change something, you will need to be a little more mysterious and play with this person. Make a charm. As things are now, it's great for a friendship, but for a love relationship, it will need some changes.
Career
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Sun - Scythe - Stars
Your career is draining more energy from you than you'd like. It takes a lot of effort, perhaps due to the repetitive movements, standing for long hours, or any other activity that, even though it's easy, stresses you out repeatedly. However, this time is about to end, but for that to happen, you need to ask for help from someone you can trust in the company. Seek advice from someone who has already been through this situation and can give you some tips that will make your work easier. Know that what you are going through now is something cyclical, and it will end sooner or later, and you will reap the fruits of your labor later.
Pile 2
Man - Garden - Child
This pile can follow two very different paths, so if it's not one, it's another. Your career involves working with people or in a company with customer service. If you are handing out resumes, look for companies that have customer service positions available. Your career today involves a lot of communication and involvement with children, games, toys, cute clothes, and everything that pleases the children's universe and kawaii. If you want to expand your business, focus on this path and steer clear of everything that is classified as masculine. To succeed in your career, you need to network in all kinds of ways, without fear of being judged or ignored. Don't be discouraged by negative experiences, renew yourself and try again. If you are secure in your career but are in doubt about quitting to take care of children, know that it may be a very risky decision because your partner may not be able to provide the necessary support. If you have a mother or grandmother who can help you in this situation, it may be safer to seek their assistance.
Pile 3
House - Fish - Whip
You are blessed in the area of your career, as the path you want to pursue will work out for you. I'm not saying it's ready and waiting for you, but rather that whatever you decide to do, it will lead to success. Your professional life is abundant with opportunities, but your fears are holding you back. You are afraid of failure and are too proud to humble yourself to achieve your goals. However, you need to realize that your potential is endless, and you can become an authority in whatever you choose. You just need to let go of your fear of the unknown and take control of your life.
Finances
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Clouds - Book - Lilies
It's time to study economics. Your doubts about money and how to solve your bills won't go away if you work more or do more overtime. You need to pause and examine how you got to this point, and explore your options to find logical solutions. Perhaps taking out a loan from the bank is the best option for you, instead of overworking yourself. Your current situation is causing confusion, stress, and affecting your mental health. What you need right now is peace, so seek out smart solutions. Sometimes working harder and trying harder won't solve the problem. If you have the financial means, consider investing in your education. I've noticed that many people enjoy fields like medicine and therapy.
Pile 2
Book - Whip - Mice
I'd like to put this more gently, but it seems that you are wasting your money. The good news is that everything can be sorted out, just like how Cinderella's mice helped her with everything she needed. The only problem is that you're spending too much. I do believe that you are investing your money in your studies and taking professional courses, which can be expensive. However, there are also small expenses, such as those ranging from $1 to $10, that are slowly draining your finances. I suggest that you only spend on what you really need for now. Once you finish your studies and cover the major expenses, you can start making those small purchases again. But for now, it's best to hold back a little.
Pile 3
Man - Snake - Sun
You are spending your hard-earned money on the wrong things. Perhaps you are using your money to impress someone by attending events they like, buying clothes they prefer, or trying to get closer to them. Unfortunately, this won't help if that person has no interest in you. If you are not interested in anyone, you can channel your money towards a sport or a new hobby. I'm not suggesting that you abandon your interests, but rather that you can simplify your approach and not spend so much money on them. For instance, you don't need 10 pairs of pants and t-shirts. Instead, you can have three t-shirts and two pants and still make a lot of combinations, which is much cheaper.
Spirituality
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Bear - Birds - Whip
You have spiritual connections that are more focused on your protection and well-being than on other matters such as love or finances. You enjoy spiritual protection, which can sometimes be overwhelming because it may seem like there aren't any good opportunities coming your way. However, the truth is that better things are being worked on for you, and you just need to be patient and wait for them. Additionally, you should practice your spiritual obligations, and prayer is the most effective way to do this. Someone who prays for their guardian spirits every day has much more power than someone who simply makes a potion during the Moon of Strawberry and expects everything to be resolved.
Pile 2
Rider - Stork - Birds
You are someone who has a hard time listening to your spirituality. They can send you a billboard saying they are there, or better yet, an SMS answering your questions, and even then, you doubt any and all messages that your spirituality tries to send you. Yes, they are close to you. They have been with you since your birth. I can even say that they have been with you in past lives. Be wiser, trust your intuition more, believe in nature and the future. This is what your spirituality wants to tell you.
Pile 3
Ring - Birds - Clouds
You have a connection with spirituality that is strongly linked to the air element. You feel drawn to clouds, birds, feathers, incense, fairies, and other symbols of the air element. Perhaps you communicate with your guides through the air or have been told that this is the best way for you to do so. However, the problem is your lack of commitment. If you want to follow a spiritual path, make sure it is something you truly believe in and want to commit to. Remember that every spiritual contract you make is eternal and cannot be undone by simply changing your mind. Therefore, it's important to know that your spirituality and your guides are always with you and ready to guide and protect you. However, they need your commitment and willingness to work with them. They will be there for you in both good times and bad, but you must be willing to help them guide you on your path.
Your Physical
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Stork - Child - Cross
If you do not want to have children now, it's important to take extra precautions. However, if you are ready for it, this may be a good time. I've noticed that it has been a while since you have engaged in a pleasurable physical activity. While you may be exercising and eating healthy out of responsibility and care for your health, it's also important to enjoy what you do. You are a responsible person when it comes to your health, but I want to remind you that you can be both healthy and have fun. You have been doing the same things for a while and haven't tried any new activities or dishes, and it may be beneficial for you to expand your horizons. There are many wonderful things out there for you to try and enjoy.
Pile 2
Bouquet - Crossroads - House
Stop looking for easy solutions to your physical problems, whether it's your weight, a chronic illness, or anything else that limits your choices and affects your daily life. I know you hate dealing with these issues, and no one enjoys being sick, but it's important for you to take steps that you know will work, even if it means a slower path to progress. The easier paths may seem tempting, but they often come with rebound effects that set you back to square one. So, focus on the long-term results and commit to the right approach, even if it requires more effort and patience.
Pile 3
Fox - Tower - Mountain
You see your physique as a major problem that you're not sure how to solve, but deep down you know that there is a solution out there for you (you're just not sure which one to pursue). I've noticed that many people struggle with skin problems such as dermatitis, as well as issues with their hair. If you've been dealing with these problems for years, it's understandable that you may feel discouraged and uncertain about finding a solution. While I can't personally offer a solution to your problem - that's the job of a qualified professional - I want you to know that there are experts out there who can help you. Don't be afraid to seek out other professionals and explore different treatment options. After all, you're investing your time and money in this, so it's important that you find the best possible care.
Your Intellectual
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Tower - Moon - Anchor
You are undoubtedly a highly intelligent person, but it's important to remember that intelligence is more than just rationality. While you excel at navigating the logical world, you struggle to manage your emotions, which often seem like a boat in a storm. To become even better, smarter, and more confident, you need to strengthen your emotional side. Fortunately, you are fully capable of doing so, despite previous difficulties. It's worth investing time and effort into studying techniques and strategies for understanding and managing your emotions.
Pile 2
Snake - Woman - Stars
You know that you are an intellectual and that you have spent most of your life being oriented towards intellectual pursuits. However, be careful not to fall into traps because of this. Even if you have studied for many years, you are not necessarily better than anyone else, just more knowledgeable about the subject. Be more humble in your approach. Remember that there will always be someone who can teach and guide you, and that there is always room for new people. If someone new arrives in your academic environment, embrace them, because you can learn a lot from them.
Pile 3
Woman - Crossroads - Child
You're already debating your own capabilities, and now I have two paths to suggest, so if one doesn't fit, try the other. The first relates to your sexuality - if you're uncertain and struggling to fit into one of the 30+ classifications society offers, remember that you don't have to conform to anyone else's idea of who you are. Instead, focus on what feels true and right for you.The second option is to embrace your femininity rather than trying to detach from it. Viewing femininity as negative or useless can be limiting and prevent you from fully embracing all aspects of yourself. Instead of trying to fit into gender norms, focus on simply doing what needs to be done without worrying about what is considered masculine or feminine.
General Advice
Pile 1 - Pile 2 - Pile 3
Pile 1
Bouquet - Mice - Snake (Man)
It's time to stop settling for less and start striving for something better. You may be afraid of taking risks, but in reality, you have far more opportunities and possibilities than you realize. Instead of waiting for life to happen to you or for a sign from above, take control of your own journey. Remember, your path is unique and belongs to you alone. So don't be afraid to chase after what you truly want and create the life you desire.
Pile 2
Letter - Dog - Fish (Scythe
You have distanced yourself from your friends, but it's important to remember that you made that decision. It's time to have more confidence in yourself, not just in your relationships but in all aspects of your life. Not everything is about loss and conquering; sometimes good things come into our lives without any effort on our part. Instead of focusing on numbers and what you can show to others, start paying attention to what you feel inside. Trust your instincts and acknowledge what is real to you, even if you can't confirm it to others.
Pile 3
Cross - Clover - Lilies (Ship)
At my religious center, I heard a phrase that goes, "There are more secrets between heaven and earth than death itself". I think of this phrase because it seems that you are seeking a reason for what is happening in your life right now, but the truth is that there may not be a reason or a motive. Sometimes, things just happen, and it's up to us to trust in fate and move forward. Remember, you are luckier than you think, and it's important to simplify things rather than making them more complicated. Trust in the journey and have faith that things will work out in the end.
#astrojulia#witchblr#astro community#tarot reading#oracle reading#actually I used lenormand... does that count? hehehe#tarot community#pac#pick a pile#general reading#love reading#career reading#finances reading#relationship reading#tarot pick a card#pick a deck#pick a card readingtion#astroblr#pick a card reading#divination
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Is It Working For You? Part 4 | Rooster x Reader
Welcome back! Just making sure you didn't miss anything Masterlist
Summary: Back at the Hard Deck, Bradley shows off his talents. So what if you're a little jealous, you can handle it, right?
Warnings: angst, fluff, some swears, adult banter, getting more into 18+
Length: 3600
Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader
"Let me get this straight, you don't want to go out with him, but you want to go to the Hard Deck tonight to see if he's there?" Maria asked you as you shared a takeout dinner in your tiny apartment.
"Yes. Why doesn't that make sense to you?"
"Because it's ridiculous."
"So are you coming with me?" You whined, "Please, please, please. I'll look stupid if I go by myself, and Cam has a date with that guy who works for the financial planner."
Exasperated, Maria tilted her head back and reluctantly agreed. "Fine, but all my drinks go on your tab. And you're not allowed to embarrass me."
And that's how you found yourselves crammed into the Hard Deck at 9:30 on Saturday night. You hadn't realized until you got there that an aircraft carrier had arrived into port earlier that evening, and the place was swarming with crew members and their families.
"Holy shit, we'll never get all the way up to the bar to get a drink at this rate!" Maria complained. "Start throwing elbows."
"Sure," you muttered, head on a swivel, looking for Rooster. Maria just kept nudging you closer and closer to the bar where Penny and Jimmy were looking really frazzled. You and she ended up leaving with four beers and four tequila shots, afraid it might be awhile before you made it back for more.
"There's an empty spot on that ledge!" Maria yelled, and you prayed you could make it that far without wearing any of the tequila. Of course said ledge had a perfect view of the dartboard and Rooster, who had seemingly just arrived for the night.
You weren't sure if he had seen you yet. Then it struck you that he was perhaps going to keep avoiding you. Your stomach twisted uncomfortably at the thought. Since he had his back turned your way, you took the opportunity to take inventory. Wild Hawaiian shirt? Check. Very touchable curly hair? Check. Jeans that were maybe slightly too tight but did lovely things for his butt? Double check.
"Why can't I meet a nice civilian who has a butt that tight?" you moaned into the beer that Maria handed you. And it wasn't even the beer you usually drank, the same one Bradley preferred as well. It was a weird pilsner and you didn't even really want it.
"You are so transparent in your lust for him, poor Rooster probably can't figure out what he did wrong with you," Maria said as she worked on her own bottle of beer. "I maintain that you deserve to be ignored. And, yes, I know you have your reasons, but you always jump to conclusions. Even Kyle was fun until he wasn't, right? It's never all bad. You never know, you could have a long and happy life with Bradley. A house in the country, some kids, maybe eventually grandkids. He would mow the lawn shirtless, you would bake him pies. A real love story."
You snorted. "Jesus, you sound like my mom."
"Yikes, time for shots then!" You each downed two shots in a row, and it wasn't too long until you started chatting with a friendly sailor and his wife who were next to you at the ledge. You actually managed to lose track of time for a while before checking to see where Bradley had gone.
Over all the noise, you noticed that someone had turned off or unplugged the jukebox. Then you heard the tinkling of piano keys as someone seemed to be warming up to play the old upright piano on the other side of the bar, but there were too many people packed inside for you to see who it was.
That's when you recognized the opening notes to the song. Whoever it was at the piano was playing "Roses" by OutKast. "What the hell?" you whispered, grabbing Maria by the front of her shirt and shaking her. "Can you see who's playing the piano?"
She pulled your hand away and glared at you. Since she had a good couple inches on your height, you hoped she'd be able to see further than you could. "Okay, just chill out! Oh, it's him. It's Rooster."
Not that you really needed the confirmation.
He played through the piano intro of the song a few times as you immediately abandoned Maria and trekked through the crowd with your second beer. By the time you got close enough to actually see him, he was stretching his arms wide before pounding out something else altogether.
You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain...
Oh Lord, was that his singing voice?
Too much love drives a man insane...
It was raspy perfection. Like bourbon with a sugary bite to it.
You broke my will, but what a thrill...
The other aviators began to crowd around the piano as you inched a bit closer.
Goodness, gracious, great balls of fire!
Rooster had half the bar chanting along to the last line. Then everyone went completely wild, and you gaped at him as he played, clearly in his element as he entertained everyone. His aviator sunglasses were pushed down slightly lower on his nose and he winked at Phoenix, Bob and the others over the frames. His huge hands absolutely flew over the keys with that same elegant movement you'd already gotten used to from him.
As he finished the final notes at full volume, you caught his eye and a genuine smile crossed his face. You joined everyone in applauding him, even bouncing on your toes a bit in your excitement.
You wanted him. So. Badly. Your vision was a little bit all over the place, presumably from the tequila or the lust or both. You wondered if it was too late to get him to take you to that place in Del Mar after all. As you waffled back and forth, trying to decide the safest bet here, you noticed not one but two girls approach him where he was standing next to the piano. The jukebox screeched back to life just as your brain screeched to a full stop.
The girl on the right looked a bit like you, something that was very upsetting for your mind to process. And the other one, well she had her hand on his arm. And both of them were wearing clothing that looked like it was painted on. You glanced down at your boat shoes, ripped jeans and plain cotton tee. When you looked back up, Bradley was saying something that had both girls hooting with laughter.
Oh, you wanted to throw up. In fact, you thought you might.
"Hey, everything okay?" It was Phoenix, cautiously sidling up next to you. You realized you had been standing stricken, motionlessly clutching your beer bottle at chest height for who the hell knew how long.
Apparently you had a front row ticket to a riveting show called 'You Are Insanely Jealous And You Deserve Every Minute Of This', because not even fifteen feet away, Bradley was smiling at both girls.
"No, everything is bad. Very bad," you told Phoenix. "I am so dumb. God, I'm just terrible at this." Yet you were still unable to move.
"Look, I know he likes you. And honestly, he gets a ton of attention from the locals. This is really typical. It doesn't mean anything."
You turned to look at Phoenix, agony clearly written on your face. "He gets a ton of attention from them?"
"I mean, yeah, all the guys do. And Bradley's obviously pretty easy to look at. And he's nice to everyone, well except Bagman. But I think he would really rather have some attention from you, if I'm being honest here."
Your heart pounded harder as Maria came creeping through the crowds to your other side. "There you are! I couldn't find you, and then I ended up getting us some more shots while I was looking for you." She handed you a double shot of tequila and you downed it immediately, wiping your lips with the backs of your fingers.
And then one of the girls had Bradley's phone in her hand, and it looked like she was about to type in her phone number.
"Fuuuuck," you moaned as you handed your empty shot glass and beer bottle to Phoenix on your way to the piano.
-------------------------------------
Bradley's eyes stalked your every movement as you approached him. He had watched you knock back a shot and was a little nervous that meant you'd be leaving the bar for the night. Now it was like you were moving in slow motion for him. He noticed every toss of your hair and how your tongue peeked out of the corner of your mouth as you walked. The way your tight tee shirt pulled across your chest as you tossed your shoulders back in determination was almost his undoing. You looked just like you had last Saturday night when you spun around on your barstool, ready to put him in his place.
Then suddenly you were a foot in front of him, and he didn't know what to say. He had almost forgotten he had Libby and Charlotte attached to his arms. Or was it Lindsey and Scarlett? He had no idea.
"Hi," you told him in the steadiest voice you could manage.
"Hey, Y/N," Bradley replied, and to his shock he watched you pull his phone out of Libby's grasp and slap it against his chest, never once taking your eyes off his. Then you let your fingers trail down along every single button on the front of his shirt before clasping your hands in front of yourself.
"You can play piano," you told him, as if he was unaware of that particular talent he possessed.
"Yes, I can."
"You didn't play last weekend."
"No. I was too busy talking to you," he said in a matter of fact voice that had you biting your lip for a second.
"You played 'Roses'," you told him quietly.
Bradley nodded slowly as he tucked his phone back into his jeans pocket. "I did."
"Why?"
As he hiked his hands up onto his hips, he realized the other girls had vanished and he was more or less alone with you. "Why do you think?"
You shrugged dramatically. "I don't know, Rooster, probably to torture me?"
A startled laugh escaped him. "You think you're the one being tortured here? That's pretty funny. No, Y/N, I played it because I know you like it. And it's been stuck in my head since yesterday."
"It's been stuck in your head?" you asked, seemingly unsure of what else to say.
Bradley yanked his sunglasses off and let them hang from the top of his shirt. "Yeah, of course it has. It's been playing on repeat in my brain. I also can't stop thinking about that weird green hot sauce in the cafeteria that you like. Or how your car is the shittiest thing I've seen in a long time."
You looked down and fumbled with the hem of your shirt, but you were finally smiling. "It has character," you insisted.
"Sweetheart, please look at me," he muttered, and your eyes instantly snapped up again, pupils blown wide. "You're sending me some serious mixed signals here. I don't know what you want me to do. If you want me to stay away from you, just say so."
"I don't want that."
He sighed deeply. "You want to be just friends?" He watched you shrug in the most noncommittal way. "Because friends don't pull the kind of shit that you just did. You told me not to ask you out, then you sent those two girls packing. What's your deal?"
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You stood before him, speechless. He was not going to let you off the hook easily. You swallowed down the awful feeling in your stomach. Wasn't honesty the best policy? You were so drunk, you weren't sure anymore. "What's my deal? I was incredibly jealous. That's my deal."
You watched Bradley's face for any sign of reaction, but he gave nothing away.
"Why were you jealous?"
"Isn't it obvious?" you muttered, wishing the floor would swallow you whole. Your head was spinning wildly, and you needed to tell Maria that there was no way you'd be able to walk back to your apartment tonight.
"No, Y/N. It is not obvious."
Time to face the music. "Because I like you, that's why. And I'm wildly attracted to you. Jesus, Bradley, how could I not be?"
Bradley shook his head, and it was making you dizzier just watching him. "So many fucking mixed signals," he said under his breath as you took a stumbling step backward. "Are you okay?"
"I think I drank too much," you managed as you tried to take your phone out of your pocket to text Maria. "I don't know where Maria went, but we came here together. I feel awful."
Bradley took you gently by the elbow, and spun you halfway around so you were facing away from him. "She's right over there," he told you, and you tried to look to where he was pointing, his forearm resting on your shoulder. Your head was swimming. "Do you want me to take you home?" he asked, and his sweet, raspy voice in your ear calmed you down.
"Maria and I can get a Lyft," you told him as you leaned back against his chest. This felt so nice, you wanted to curl up into him and fall asleep. Bradley's hand slid down the side of your shoulder, anchoring you to him while he rubbed you gently through your sleeve.
"Is she your roommate?" he asked, his voice rumbling through his chest and soothing your back.
"Mmhmm, she is."
"I'll drive you both home," he said, wrapping his other arm around your waist and leading you toward Maria on the way to the exit.
"Haven't you been drinking?" you asked as you tried to walk as normal as you could.
"Not a single drink tonight."
"Why not?" you asked with a yawn, desperate to keep him talking. You'd missed his voice over the last few days.
"Because I drank most of a bottle of scotch last night after work in hopes I would be able to fall asleep. I thought my liver deserved a night off."
You didn't remember much more after that, other than Maria taking your hand as you felt the cool night air hit your face. And as Bradley buckled you into his front seat, he whispered, "Please don't barf in my Bronco, Sweetheart," next to your cheek.
-----------------------------------
You jolted awake in your bed and sat up quickly. It was sunny in your bedroom and your mouth tasted terrible. "Oh my God, did I throw up in his Bronco?" you croaked to your bedroom walls. Desperate to know what time it was, you gently rolled across your bed to where your phone was charging on the nightstand next to your glasses. Your head was on the verge of imploding, you were certain of that. How much did you drink last night?
You gingerly slid your glasses onto your nose. It was almost 10:00 on Sunday morning, and all of the other details of the previous evening came slowly flooding back to you. Bradley had played the piano for you. Well, he had played for everyone at the Hard Deck, but in some way, you were certain it had been just for you. And he had been sweet enough to drive you and Maria home, even though you were kind of an ass to him.
You suddenly started laughing and had to grip your head to make the throbbing stop. Had you really taken Bradley's phone away from that girl? You did remember slapping him in the chest with it, too. Add that to the list of things you would never do sober.
You had handled the situation like you owned him. And he let you do it. Bradley let you send those girls away without another look in their direction. His attention had firmly been on you. Just you.
A gentle tapping on your door sent your hungover head into a frenzy. "Yeah?" you croaked and a second later Maria's head poked inside. The smell of breakfast cooking made your stomach churn with hunger and something else unpleasant.
"Wow, you look terrible."
"I feel worse," you managed. "How much did I drink?"
"Well, I don't think it was necessarily the quantity so much as the tequila itself. Come on, I made you waffles. You'll feel better after you eat."
After you had two full waffles, some fruit and a lot of coffee in your stomach, you were able to converse like a human.
"Bradley drove us home, and I can barely even remember it. Was he nice to you? Was his car messy? Was he a good driver? Did he use turn signals?"
"Of course, no, pretty good, and yes. Also you'd probably like to know that he carried you inside from his car."
Your eyes went wide. "No!"
Maria nodded as she blew on her mug of coffee. "Yeah, he did. You fell asleep, and he insisted on letting you doze, so he scooped you up like a little baby and carried you to the couch."
"He carried me up three flights of stairs?"
An impressed look settled on Maria's face. "Yes, and let me tell you, your boy wasn't even slightly winded. He looked like he would have happily carried you to Texas if you had told him you wanted to eat BBQ for a midnight snack."
You groaned loudly, a combination of embarrassment over being carried by Bradley and sadness over not being able to remember it.
"Then after he left," Maria continued, "I managed to coax you into the bathroom to get you ready for bed. It was not easy to change you into pajamas or get you to take your contacts out while you fought with me, so you probably owe me lunch. Tequila makes you... difficult. And I've gotta ask, what are you going to do about your Rooster problem? Because if I saw things correctly from the bar, he ditched not one but two other girls as soon as you demanded his attention."
Indeed. What were you going to do about your Rooster problem?
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The glimmer of hope that filled Bradley on Saturday night carried him all the way through Sunday. He ran almost seven miles before he noticed any fatigue, and then he lifted weights for an hour. He felt so good, he even went grocery shopping and stocked the small refrigerator in his barracks room.
You had staked your claim on him. At least it felt that way. You had said you were jealous, and you put your hands on him. And then you snuggled against him, and it had taken every ounce of his self control to keep his lips off your perfect neck. Because now he had a new problem; you had done all of that after you had been drinking.
Bradley needed to get you to talk to him, but he needed to make sure the timing was right. No alcohol, nobody else around, and no bullshit.
Monday did not prove to be the opportune time for that conversation. The entire day was truly a mess. Bradley had blown up at Maverick in front of an entire room of people, the flight training was a mess, and the team was not getting along. You were also nowhere to be found. Bradley must have looked to where Lieutenant Wilson and Lieutenant Harvey were sitting one time too many, because during a break, they had mercy on him and informed him that you were meeting with your superior officers.
"Do you know what it's about?" Bradley asked them.
"I'm assuming it has something to do with the mission. Y/N is the lead comms tech, so she usually gets updated information first," Cam Harvey said. "She's working really hard to make sure you're as safe as possible. We all are."
"Appreciated," Bradley replied with a nod. But by the time he was showered and leaving for the day, he still hadn't seen you. As he rode the elevator down alone, his phone buzzed with a message from Mav.
Beach day tomorrow. Meet by the seaside cliffs at 9 am. Dress for fun.
"What the fuck?" Bradley muttered, wondering what the message possibly had to do with the mission.
-----------------------------------
"I need you to implement this into the plan today. I don't know how many more weeks of training we have available before you all get hauled out to that carrier, so this needs to be perfect," Commander Bickel told you as you furiously entered code into the navigation simulation program for the F/A-18 Super Hornets. You had been holed up with him in his office all day. Every tiny bit of new information that was collected needed to be taken into consideration. The mission was too important to miss something and regret it later. Apparently the hillside slopes around the SAMs had initially been miscalculated, and you were currently updating them with satellite imaging.
The fact that Rooster could be there in person made you strive for perfection. Plus, you actually liked your boss. He was fair and friendly and you respected each other.
'Yes, sir. I'll take care of it."
You worked late into the evening before you were dismissed, but on the way out Bickel told you, "You've been invited to a beach day tomorrow, courtesy of Captain Mitchell. Harvey and Wilson, too."
"Sir?"
"Take the day off tomorrow and enjoy yourself."
---------------------------
Thanks for reading! The next chapter.... oh boy, get excited for it!
Check out Part 5
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#top gun fanfiction#rooster fanfic#rooster#bradley bradshaw x reader#rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#rooster x female reader#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley rooster bradshaw x reader#rooster x reader
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Hi!!!!! I saw your requests are open again and I was hoping you could write something along the lines of that the reader has a crush on Chris and vice versa but Matt & Nick only know so they set each other up on a blind date but when they get to the cafe or restaurant they see each other and the reader initially think it’s a horrible joke but it’s not because Chris takes the opportunity to confess to the reader?
blind ⮕ c.s.
word count: 608
warnings: swearing, obliviousness, slight panic
summary: request
a/n: thank you all for your patience, i’m gonna try and get through a bunch of these tonight 🫶🏻
everything written is completely fictional. the people i write for are written with characteristics and mannerisms that i made for them, this is in no way depicting what would actually happen in real life.
You were standing in the diner bathroom, adjusting your hair and running the tip of your finger under your eyes to fix your makeup, and trying desperately to not absolutely freak the fuck out.
Nick had convinced you to go on a blind date that he set up, which you were confused about. He didn’t give you any details, he never even told you a name. All he did was give you a date, time, location, and about ten threats to your life if you didn’t show up.
“Trust me, you’re going to want to be there.” He’d said, making your eyebrows furrow and suspicion broil in your head as the both of you went about your day. You’d only agreed because your crush on Chris was getting outrageous, and you needed to get your mind elsewhere.
You sighed and shook out your arms, trying to imagine your nerves rolling out of your fingertips with the motion. It took you a little longer, but you finally pulled yourself away from the mirror and left the bathroom. You decided to sit in the lobby and wait for your date, not entirely knowing what to expect as you sat down and pulled out your phone.
nick: good luck, you got this 💓
You rolled your eyes fondly and replied something sarcastic, about to open a different app to pass time when your name caught your attention. You looked up with a frown, pulling a face when you saw Chris looking down at you in confusion.
“Oh, hey. What are you doing here?” You asked, locking your phone and slipping it into your pocket. Chris shrugged as you stood, looking around him before he answered.
“Matt set me up, said to come here at 6:30 for a date.” He said, finally meeting your eyes. You frowned and scoffed.
“Nick set me up too, for 6:30. That’s so weird.” You said, Chris’ face dropping almost instantly. You blinked, about to open your mouth to ask what the problem was until it hit you.
Nick and Matt. Those motherfuckers.
Your face felt like it was on fire as you put your hands up. “Oh my fucking God, I’m so sorry.” You said, Chris shaking his head.
“No, it’s not your fault. At least it was each other, and not some crazy people.” You couldn’t even think straight or process his words, your head still shaking as too many thoughts rushed through your mind all at once. You finally stopped and ran your hands through your hair.
“I need to go, I’m sorry.” You said, your face felt as though it was on fire.
Chris’ eyes met yours, his brows furrowed. “Is it really so bad? Being set up with me?”
It took you a moment to process his words, but you shook your head. “Of course not, I’m just…embarrassed.” You said, resting your head in your hands and huffing softly.
“I’m not, I’m kind of glad it was you.” He said, your eyes meeting his.
“Really?”
Chris smiled and nodded. “Yeah. I’ve kinda had a thing for you for forever, I’m surprised you haven’t noticed.” He said, the apples of his cheeks tinged pink. His eyes never left yours, and you couldn’t help but smile and look down.
“And I thought I was obvious and you were oblivious.” You said, glancing up at him through your eyelashes. He looked surprised, but not shocked.
“Well, shall we?” He asked, gesturing dramatically to the booths and tables with one arm while holding his elbow out to you with the other. You rolled your eyes and hooked your arm through his.
“We shall.”
tags: @strniolo , @toyourloves , @ssturniolo , @jellybeanbby , @thetriplets3 , @mxriverse , @stvrni0lo , @gabbylovesreading , @dwntwn-strnlo , @tylerscreat0r , @emmssturniolo , @lvrsparadise , @tuktuk34 , @angelcake-222 , @20nugs , @obsessivencrazy , @lollibumblebee , @stargirlv0id , @babytomatoes
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matthew sturniolo#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo imagine#nick sturniolo imagine#matt sturniolo imagine
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Some thoughts on Itachi
So, I've seen a lot of comments circulating about my tags on this post, and I'm intrigued at the interest. I didn't expect it, as I see much more pigeonholing of Itachi's character than honest to god analysis. No hate- I'm no stranger to Kishimoto's writing. Some of his characters were unfortunately butchered or never given the chance to be developed properly, and Itachi is most certainly no exception. That said, I like to grant him a bit more nuance than I see on most blogs. I think people get a little wrapped up in the supposed "moral implications" of exploring how Itachi was also a victim of the system, as well as someone who victimized many people. But it's silly to equate character analysis and context consideration with condoning genocide.
I have a good laugh every once and a while at the metaphorical gymnastics people do in order to stay in the good graces of a bunch of internet trolls who are just Waiting for any opportunity to tell you you love murder and think it's delicious just because you made a post exploring a character's background. Media is grey; it's layered and wonderfully complex. There are many wrongs and rights in every story, and many wrongs and rights within those wrongs and rights. That's what I love about Naruto. Often times it's really too much like real life. Instead of people being black and white, right or wrong, bad or good- they're usually in a tough situation, trying their best and falling short, don't have all of the information, acting with good intentions or acting on what they believe will bring about a lesser evil, and then end up hurting others.
But it is much easier to assign blame and move on. A so-called bad person will always be the perfect scapegoat for issues bigger than them. In Itachi's case, the fascist government in the Leaf. It's easier to say Itachi could have just refused and decided not to be involved, than to recognize that like almost every other character in the narrative, he was under extreme duress, living in a military state. He was a child whose existence, along with all the other children and adults in the Leaf, was only valuable as long as he could serve as a tool for the war machine in the shinobi world's fucked up political system. And saying this is not the same as saying he was not capable of better decisions or that everything that he did thereafter or in general should not be read critically or subject to hypothetical consequences. It is the same as a saying his actions cannot be fully understood without complete context, and the themes of Naruto will never come through if every villain is just "evil" with no further nuance. And it would be boring too LOL
That said, I love to think about Itachi's situation back then. The ages in Naruto are a bit muddled, a little inconsistent, subject to change and interpretation, but Itachi was a child when he murdered everyone in the Uchiha compound. Most sources say he was 13. It should go without saying that someone so young isn't capable of the same decision-making or critical thinking as say, a 30-year-old, someone whose brain is finished developing and has much more experience on Earth.
Itachi's experience at this point in his life is informed by his age, and it's obviously informed by his childhood, as he has no other place from which to draw conclusions. Itachi grew up in a warring state. He saw people die and was subject to extreme violence in his formative years. To make matters worse, he was taught that war was inevitable and the only thing he could do to guard against it was kill others before they got the chance to kill him (threaten the village). Thusly, Itachi internalized at a very young age that what was in his power was to minimize damage (to himself, to his village, and to the world). What was not in his power was to stop this violence entirely (by adopting a critical mindset and going against fascist powers).
A part of this I think people often forget is that Itachi has absolutely nowhere to adopt this mindset FROM, as even though his father and the other members of the Uchiha clan seek equity in the Leaf, if they were to overthrow the Hokage and create a new system, it would still presumably center around the same ideals (minus, of course, the oppression of the Uchiha as a group). Fugaku is the head of the Uchiha clan at this time. As someone who imposed near impossible performance-related expectations on both of his sons, and withheld love and affection whenever they came up short (so often that it was at the cost of having any considerable emotional bond with either of them), there is absolutely no good reason to believe that Fugaku would reform the Leaf using a non-fascist ideology. And if he did, there is no good reason to believe that he would be some kind of visionary LMAO
This is important to remember because when it comes down to Itachi's decision to either kill everyone in the Uchiha compound and his family, or be part of the coup that would overthrow the Leaf, some people treat it as though it's a choice between fascism and non-fascism, which it most certainly is not. And if it was, Itachi, as a child who had grown up immersed in this ideology, would not be able to appreciate the difference. This context allows us to understand further what Itachi was really weighing in that moment. Accounting for his young age and limited worldview, the only valuable difference in this moment to Itachi was the amount of bloodshed that he would "allow" to happen. Essentially, he sees the options as follows:
Either give in to Danzo and kill everyone in the Uchiha compound, or facilitate a coup where the current government is (hopefully) overthrown and risk starting another war.
Here, Itachi pauses. He has known war. He knows how it affects children, adults, families, and whole nations. The peace he's living in currently is bought with blood, but it's the only peace he's ever known. The alternative is horrifying. And a war in this context, Itachi likely thinks, would be his fault, as he has now been put in the position to "prevent" it. Danzo and the whole shinobi system have groomed him into thinking so. Itachi, at age 13, cannot understand that there would be no war; it exists only as leverage for Danzo's argument at this point. His sensitivities are being played on.
Fugaku, though he is not the same as Danzo, offers about as much help as he does (that being none). Fugaku has no interest in avoiding war; if a war breaks out, it's justified because it will still mean his clan will no longer be living in oppression. This idea is valid, as fascist systems and discrimination can only cease to exist when we rise up against them; unfortunately, this most often calls for righteous violence, as the oppressive powers will not be moved with peaceful shows (not to mention they are willing to go to extreme lengths to avoid losing their hold on the people they have crushing power over, i.e. the Uchiha massacre). But Fugaku has no words to explain this to Itachi, who fears the worst and further fears being responsible for the worst. All he does is act as if it's a moral failing that his 13-year-old son is unwilling to stage a coup, which he believes could mark the abrupt end of a peace that's only just begun.
That said, let it be known that Itachi does appreciate this situation with SOME nuance, though it isn't of the kind that might have enabled him to see he was being manipulated. He at the very least understands that Danzo is a warmonger and oppresses those he fears (the Uchiha). He understands that the rights of his clan have been sorely disrespected, and that the issue needs correction. He understands the anger of his friends and family. This is why it takes him much deliberation before he can even come close to making a decision. He plays both sides right up until the end, listening to Danzo, as well as Fugaku and Shisui, paying attention to the current atmosphere in the Leaf as he tries to decide.
It is something he doesn't want to do. Here's where I get to the part I put in the tags of my drawing.
In this situation, it's almost worthless to write an analysis about Itachi's feelings at this time, his understanding of what was actually going on, his loyalty to his clan or his loyalty to the Leaf, because really, he could not grasp it. He was never prepared for this. He never knew he would be asked to make a decision he could only understand as "your family or the world?"
Itachi was put in a position that had no happy ending. There was no decision he could make that would not hurt. That could not result in a cataclysm that split him right down the middle. There was no version of this story that a 13-year-old could carry out thinking "I have done the right thing."
And that's the important part. Both sides asked him to make this decision, and so both sides are guilty of placing an immeasurable pressure on a child who should never have been put in such a position. Regardless of ideology, regardless of price, regardless of oppression or loyalty or devotion or any other thing- someone else should have made this decision for Itachi. Someone else should have been responsible. An adult, at the very least. Someone who COULD understand the implications of both options. Someone who COULD go forward and appreciate the evil of fascism and know that a coup was necessary. Itachi was never capable of such a thing. If he made the "wrong" decision, than every child who can't explain to you what a fascist government in a military state looks like and explain what the difference is between a hate crime and resisting a hateful power, is also wrong. Here is the nuance. These are things a 13-year-old in this universe cannot be expected to understand unless they are taught. And Itachi had no teacher. Quite the opposite. There were only forces pressing him from both sides, saying "choose."
Had his father done this for him, had Shisui been in this position, had any other adult Uchiha acting as a spy been put to this task, it would be a much different narrative. But of course, it had to be Itachi, who Danzo knew he could manipulate. It had to be a child, someone skilled enough to do the job, but inexperienced enough, afraid enough, to be willing to sacrifice everything they had to see the mission through. Someone you could whisper "greater good" to and have them hand over their well being on a plate. Someone who didn't understand they had the power and strength to destroy the system threatening them.
On a narrative level, Itachi exists to illustrate this point. How young people are systematically indoctrinated to serve a greater purpose, be it under a specific government, religion, or otherwise. We see it in real life fascism, in real life cults. There's no mistake. It isn't an accident that Itachi's story begins like this.
Which brings me to the rest of his life. The reason I drew the picture in the post referenced at the top. Itachi's character is a bit of a mystery the rest of the anime. Be that because of bad writing or an intentional omission, his motives, thoughts, and opinions are largely left ambiguous. However, there are still a few moments that interest me as far as the implications of his development.
When Itachi first comes back to the Leaf village, he faces Kakashi. On the one hand, this could simply be a narrative tool- the big bad meets the big good. He takes Kakashi out of commission! The first rogue shinobi we see who is able to defeat the pillar of the Leaf, the Copy Ninja, and without even breaking a sweat!
On the other hand, I find the brutality of Itachi's attack very intriguing. Again, it could be the tough guy act, but he's able to keep three jonin busy easily using standard genjutsu (with the help of Kisame). It wouldn't be a stretch to say that using the tsukuyomi is overkill, and at a considerable price, we learn later.
Why then would Itachi, who has been shown to have excellent battle intelligence, who is strategic to a fault, be willing to jeopardize his health among other things just to... scare the Leaf? Make sure Kakashi wouldn't be a nuisance in the future? Sure, the last one would make collecting Naruto less complicated, but they dispatched Kakashi easily enough, and surely Jiraiya, who Naruto was with at the time, would pose a bigger problem than Kakashi.
It doesn't make strategic sense, which makes me wonder if Itachi has a special animosity toward Kakashi. Being his superior in the ANBU before the Uchiha massacre, someone who was willing to conduct surveillance of the Uchiha compound without question, Kakashi could have become a symbol of the indifference of the Leaf for Itachi. He could very well have been a reminder of the inoperable position Itachi was put in when he was still a child, and Kakashi, of course, was an adult. Another adult who did nothing. Noticed nothing. Did not help Itachi.
And while I'm certain that Kakashi would have taken severe issue with the goings on in the Leaf at that time, judging by his reaction when he finds out the truth in Shippuden, Itachi knows him only by what he did then. Facilitated surveillance of the Uchiha compound, was a supportive superior, but nothing greater. A bystander whose compassion, while well meaning, was entirely unhelpful.
I don't think it's far fetched that Itachi fucking crucified Kakashi because he was so angry at what being in the Leaf did to him. At some point, as he got older, he realized how terrible it was. He realized there were people like him. Children who were "born killers". Pawns in the game of the shinobi powers.
After leaving the village, Itachi joins the Akatsuki, who are also seeking peace through war (another story). He is supposed to spy for them, but doesn't follow through in any enthusiastic way (that we're shown). He works alone for quite some time, or else with a group (briefly he was shown with Conan and Kakuzu). He is partners with Orochimaru before he's expelled from the Akatsuki. He is partners with one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. He grows up and meets many people, sees lots of stories unfold. He learns that he isn't in a minority. Many shinobi are just like him.
And then, as an adult, he is partnered with Kisame, who he finds excellent camaraderie with because of their similar backgrounds. We see in this relationship that he understands what happened to him and what he did enough to acknowledge that, while neither of them are monsters, as many people say, they are human. And humans make mistakes. Humans are complicated. Wrong and right and wrong and right. They understand each other, and Itachi understands more clearly what the world puts these children up to. What it forces shinobi to become. That it isn't all his fault, but he still did it. And so he is responsible. He appears to be able to live with that.
But when he returns to the Leaf, those feelings bubble up. He hates the Leaf. He hates that system. He hates what he did. Maybe he even hates being a shinobi, how his excellence was weaponized, how being an Uchiha doomed him and his clan. And for what?
Itachi is played as a character who is only sensible, only logical, only interested in practical things, has nothing to express. But the way he behaves toward Kakashi in that moment bares all his grief and anger. I just like to think about it. We have so few moments where we get to see Itachi genuinely. The fight with Kakashi, the Sasuke/Deidara fight, his thoughtful moments with Kisame. Just makes me wonder what could've been if Itachi's story had gone a little differently.
Anyway, if anyone would like me to expand on any points or has additional thoughts, feel free to hop in my ask box or leave a comment. Thanks for the interest, I love to talk.
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Jensen Ackles Solo Panel | JIBCon 2023 (June 17, 2023)
(NuttyForAckles)
Jensen was headbanging to Smells Like Teen Spirit with Jason, then mentioned that he has that "writer‘s strike hair flow". (x)
jensen will be at the monday concert (x)
‘Take the guitar away, I’ll just sing on Monday!’ (x)
Monday‘s band will be called "No Rob". (x)
Jensen has always wanted to go to Brazil. But when he finally got there, they had so much work to do that he had to stay in the hotel and he never left. He didn’t get to meet locals or see anything. In his mind he hasn’t been there yet. (x)
His prep for Beau Arlen & Ben? Since he didn’t have the history he had with Dean, he had to dig into personal feelings. (x)
Jensen has a major short term memory to learn lines but his long term memory isn’t as good. He has intense scenes and then purges the feelings. (x)
As Beau, he took what he’d feel if the things were happening to his daughter and then tailored it a bit. A lot of Dean was him. As Soldier Boy, for the scene with Butcher about his dad, he dove into Dean and John, because he has a good relationship with his dad. (x)
And in the end he just pretended. Some people can do it and some can’t. Some can paint, some can write, some can do Math. He can’t draw a stick figure, but he can *play* (x)
Dean and Soldier Boy were both just looking for their father’s approval. Jensen jokes that he wondered if he was being type cast. Ben had an opportunity to make it better with his son & grandson, but in the end he reverted back to his DNA. (x)
jensen said that for emotional scene he filmed for soldier boy (about soldier boy's father) he leaned into dean's relationship with john (because jensen has good rs with his own father) (x) he joked about getting type casted for characters with basically daddy issues (x)
Jensen and Jared have both been invited to Hot Ones and wanted to do it years ago, but they couldn’t work it out. And now they have stars so big, he probably won’t get invited anymore. (x)
someone asked about the rumors about batman and jensen was like “i don’t know” “even i know about it i’m not telling you” and he started laugh. (x)
What about being in a top 3 list to play Batman? He doesn’t know, but even if he would know, he wouldn’t tell us. Could he do it? Sure. Does he want to? Yes. (x)
‘When I’m Batman, does my voice have to be… much different?’ (x)
Musical interruption. Jensen is confused and wants to keep answering questions. (x)
The music indicated that he had to spin the wheel. It lands on “drink” and he hugs the wheel, “it’s like it knows me”. He doesn’t actually pour one though but goes back to answering. (x)
(NuttyForAckles)
There were many scenes surrounding the Impala where Jensen had to become Dean and he’d yell at the team when they were driving it or when Jared banged against the car or fart in it. “Not on the seat, she’s been through enough.” So he knew he had to own the car. (x)
One of his old friends got offered Eric Brady on DooL and he called Jensen before accepting. Jensen said “great, knock it out of the park.” (x)
Apparently Mr Rhodes, his first job, was a multicamera sitcom. It was the best schedule he’s been on so far. Soap Opera is next because they have 40+ actors. They will shoot all 80 pages his character has consecutively, shoot an hour or two. They produce one episode in 1hr (x)
You start by 9 am and get a few short breaks, end of the day, 7:30 pm, 80 pages done and he can go home. Daytime actors don’t get enough credit for having to jam in so much story in a short time. On The Boys they get 15 days for 1 episode. (8 on SPN). (x)
One of the actresses on DooL told him first day „hit your mark, say your lines, stay out of my light“. He said „yes ma’am“, earned her respect and she took care of him big time later. (x)
When he went to lunch with Alison Sweeney, who played his evil twin sister, she got heckled and Jensen defended her immediately. She told him to stop because if people hate her, that means she‘s doing her job. (x)
Rich tells us that Jensen is a sitcom and he has his own catchphrase. He plays Jensen entering the set at morning or any room late. "What are we doing?" He has developed a special greeting with Richard out of it. (x)
(NuttyForAckles)
Jensen spend several birthdays in Brad Creasser‘s house, with his wife cooking him dinner. He‘s a good friend of Richard‘s too. Rich acts out a scene on set one day and Jensen is in tears. (x)
When Jensen walked on set of Big Sky, he also went "What are we doing?" Nobody answered, so he repeated it louder. (x)
(Julie_Fleming)
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