#so many other things i should tag this but yeah
Note
hello i saw ur insta as ada member and i loved it!!! can you do it but with the port mafia ?? thank you
Insta as a Port Mafia's member
a/n : hey dear!! thank you so much for your request, I had SO MUCH fun writing this, hope you'll like it<33
<3 liked by Higucci, Gintonic and 753 others.
Yn_theoneandonly : my girl is trainingggg @.Higucci
Chu_uya : to train is to doubt your ability
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : she'll kick your ass
↳ Gintonic : all of us
↳ Chu_uya : what did I do again ??
↳ Higucci : just shut the fuck up and you'll be fine
↳ Daze_i : love to see you're still being bullied
↳ Chu_uya : I should have killed you in your mother's womb
↳ Daze_i : have fun finding her!!!!
The_Hirotsu : Gin you received a letter, I put it on your desk
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : we can receive letters ????
↳ The_Hirotsu : Of course we can
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : BOSS I WANT A MEETING RN
↳ M_Mori : What it is this time ?
↳ Yn_theonenandonly : SINCE WHEN ARE WE ALLOWED TO RECEIVE LETTERS ??
↳ M_Mori : Since forever
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : And I was the only one not knowing this ??
↳ Gintonic : apparently
↳ Chu_uya : you have fans or something ?
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : ALL THE TIMES I COULD HAVE HAD MY PACKAGES DELIVERED TO THE OFFICE
↳ The_Hirotsu : Why at the office ?
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : I spend most of my time there, it could have been so much easierrrrrrrr
↳ M_Mori : Well..... I'm glad you're aware now
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : WE'RE NOT FINISHED BOSS
<3 liked by Yosanurgirl, Gintonic and 280 others.
Yosanurgirl : THAT'S the Port Mafia
Yn_theoneandonly : @.Chu_uya @.Akutagawa @.Tachi_h @.Paupol what went through your mind ?
↳ Chu_uya : I can explain
↳ Tachi_h : no you can't, it was Akutagawa's idea
↳ Akutagawa : NO IT WAS NOT
↳ Higucci : so ? who was in charge ?
↳ Chu_uya : We can't say it, it's confidential
↳ Paupol : Very confidential
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Verlaine, talk.
↳ Gintonic : Akutagawa ?
↳ Daze_i : mannnnn we never did that back then, the mafia is fun only when I leave
↳ Yn_theonenandonly : shut up, I want the tea
↳ Higucci : we're waiting
↳ Gintonic : Okay let me explain, if you don't tell us, I will be waiting at your door with so many tools it will take 10 lives to use them all, so, speak.
↳ Chu_uya : IT WAS HIROTSU'S IDEA HE WAS MAD BECAUSE THE SECURITY DIDN'T LET HIM SMOKE THERE SO HE ASKED US TO DESTROY THE PLACE AND THEN TAG
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : wtf
↳ Akutagawa : DAMN IT WHY CAN'T YOU JUST KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT
↳ Daze_i : I like it open
↳ Tachi_h : YOU SHUT UP YOU'RE NOT HELPING, CHUUYA MAN REALLY ???
↳ Chu_uya : BE MAD AT THE GIRLS NOT ME
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : @.The_Hirotsu care to explain ? it's childish, I would have expected it from them but from you ??
↳ Paulpol : I feel INSULTED
↳ Higucci : you ARE
↳ The_Hirotsu : I have things to do, see you never
↳ Gintonic : wtf is wrong with you
↳ Daze_i : well it all started when I was a baby
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : fuck imma sleep, you're all just a bunch of idiots
<3 liked by Atsushiii, Daze_i and 863 others.
Yn_theoneandonly : they were SO scared @.Chu_uya @.Akutagawa pussy
Atsushiii : Aku you're just playing rough but you're a real softie
↳ Akutagawa : imma dismember you
↳ Atsushiii : Yosano already did it, be original for once
↳ Daze_i : I raised you so well Atsushi !!!
↳ Akutagawa : don't fucking encourage him
Chu_uya : I wasn't scared I do this all the time
↳ Gintonic : being in an attraction ?
↳ Chu_uya : NO BEING IN THE AIR
↳ Daze_i : being so far from the ground is helping with your superiority complex ?
↳ Chu_uya : Imma pray for you
↳ Daze_i : huh ?
↳ Chu_uya : Pray for you to just kill yourself
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : that wasn't nice at all, apologize rn Chuuya
↳ Chu_uya : ME ??
↳ M_Mori : Apologize to Dazai.
↳ Chu_uya : BOSS ???? I always knew he was your favorite. I'm sorry Dazai
↳ Daze_i : good little dog, you deserve a reward
↳ Chu_uya : IMMA KILL YOU MYSELF
↳ Gintonic : they'll forever fight like child these two
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Yeah I guess
OzuKoy : Next time we should go with the ADA, it's been so long since I saw you @.Yosanurgirl
↳ Yosanurgirl : yessss my girl we'll plan that
↳ Tachi_h : I'll never understand how you can be all friends girls
↳ Yosanurgirl : because we're smarter and actually enjoy the company of peoples
↳ Tachi_h : bullshit
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : Talk to her like that again, c'mon I dare you
↳ Tachi_h : OH I REALIZED I forgot something at home
↳ Higucci : Yeah run for it
Ranthebestpo : @.p0e I bet 16000 yen that by the end of the weak, we'll have a big event with the Port Mafia
↳ p0e : bet
<3 liked by Ranthebestpo, Akutagawa and 1040 others.
Yn_theoneandonly : I still think reserving an entire cinema is excessive
Yosanurgirl : No it wasn't excessive AT ALL, you saw how none of them can behave
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : They were SO annoying
↳ Higucci : I'm glad we had a whole part of the room for ourselves
↳ Gintonic : If we didn't I would have murdered them before the end of the movie
↳ OzuKoy : And I would have joined
↳ Kyô_ka : It was nice seeing you again
↳ The_Hirotsu : Thank you for letting me sit with you
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : No problem papi, you're far from being the worst one
↳ Chu_uya : SO HE WAS ALLOWED AND NOT ME ??
↳ Gintonic : you talk allllll of the time, I would have knocked you out
Chu_uya : Dazai I swear you're the worst
↳ Daze_i : ?????? you had all the popcorn
↳ Chu_uya :Because I PAID for it
↳ Daze_i : sharing is caring
↳ Chu_uya : The thing is, I DO NOT care about you
↳ Daze_i : you care SO MUCH otherwise you wouldn't have gave it to me
↳ Chu_uya : I gave it to you so you'll stop being so clingy
↳ Daze_i : believe what makes you happy
Atsushiii : Aku I'm never sitting next to you ever again
↳ Akutagawa : I'M THE ONE who will never sit next to you
↳ Atsushiii : What makes you think you had the right to drink MY Ice-Tea ??
↳ Akutagawa : I thought it was mine
↳ Atsushiii : You took water
↳ Akutagawa : The water was disgusting
↳ Atsushiii : 🙄
Ranthebestpo : Poe give me my 16000 yen
↳ p0e : I should have known better
↳ Ranthebestpo : 100% yes
FukuZAWA : Thank you Kunikida for the reservation
↳ M_Mori : Yes thank you boy
↳ KunikIDA : It was nothing
Tachi_h : Verlaine you never do that again
↳ Paupol : What ?
↳ Tachi_h : sleeping.
↳ Paupol : What's wrong with sleeping ?
↳ Tachi_h : YOU SNORE SO LOUD IT'S ATROCIOUS
↳ Paupol : my bad
<3 liked by Gintonic, Higucci and 492 others.
Yn_theoneandonly : Hirotsu is a tired nanny
Gintonic : GIRL WHATS THAT CAPTION
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : pure truth
↳ Gintonic : yeah can't say you're wrong
Chu_uya : @.Tachi_h you put sand in my hair
↳ Tachi_h : Gin pushed me
↳ Gintonic : Aku pushed me
↳ Akutagawa : No I didn't
↳ Chu_uya : I don't care who started the dominos, you'll pay for my shampoo
↳ Tachi_h : NEVER YOURS IS TOO EXPENSIVE
↳ Chu_uya : Yes.
↳ The_Hirotsu : Children stop fighting
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : When I say he's a tired nanny
↳ The_Hirotsu : Boss I need vacations
↳ M_Mori : Take them
↳ Gintonic : NO NO HIROTSU STAY BOSS WILL MAKE US WORK
↳ M_Mori : Because normally you don't work ?
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : We work
↳ Chu_uya : Day and night
↳ Tachi_h : even during luch
↳ Gintonic : 24/24 7/7
↳ Higucci : We never sleep
↳ Paupol : Work is what we live for
↳ OzuKoy : We dedicate our life to the Mafia
↳ Akutagawa : Liars
↳ Gintonic : AKU REALLY ?????
↳ Yn_theoneandonly : YOU BASTARD, not you Gin
↳ Tachi_h : MAN SHUT THE FUCK UP
M_Mori : Well, Hirotsu I think we'll be planning those vacations together
↳ The_Hirotsu : Dear Lord, what did I do to deserve this
Hey! Hope you liked it ? I just loved doing it but including all of the characters can be SO complicated
with love <3
#fanfic#fanfiction#bungou stray dogs#bsd#bungo stray dogs#x reader#request#bungou stray dogs dazai#bsd dazai#fake social media#female reader#port mafia#bsd chuuya#bsd chuya#bungou stray dogs chuuya#chuya nakahara#chuuya nakahara#chuuya x reader#chuuya bsd#bsd higuchi#gin akutagawa#akutagawa x reader#bsd akutagawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#bsd hirotsu#tachihara x reader#bsd tachihara#bungo stray dogs tachihara#dazai bsd#dazai osamu
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How do you reconcile supporting Lance and being Pro-Palestine? Ever since learning his sister and girlfriend are rabid zionists, I don't feel right staining him idk
I will give a long answer and a tldr short answer.
Short answer: I don't look to any type of celebrity, rich public figure, etc. when it comes to my own morals. They don't define who I am as a person and I simply view them as muses to play with, nothing more. I'm not his spokesperson or representative, nor do I think I have any type of connection/relation to him or anyone adjacent. My advice for anyone into F1 or sports.
Long answer:
First and foremost I will always be pro Palestine if I haven't made that clear enough. Nothing will ever change that.
Second of all, I understand and have no problem if people do have an issue with Lance regarding this matter. Even if we're mutuals or good online friends, that doesn't bother me. I care about the relationships I've made in this space way more than if we don't like the same guy. Talk to me about anything and everything! I have many interests outside of Lance and F1 in general.
Thirdly, no matter if you agree with my opinions or not, I will not accept or entertain hate asks, death threats, or overall nasty stuff. Block me, block any tags I use, ignore me, whatever you wanna do to protect your peace.
Now onto your actual question. Like I said, I in no way hold any of these people to a standard (imo no one should). They don't perceive a person like me in any way, and I do not perceive them outside of this space.
I treat this space as a place to create art, be a bit silly, and have a good online experience.
I'm also someone who's very concrete in my own morality. Me posting pictures and writing porn of some guy I don't personally know to tumblr.com does nothing except give me a bit of serotonin.
Me in my online, personal, and offline life; educating myself and others, sharing resources, boycotting or donating, trying to do whatever I can. That does something and has an impact.
I do not waste my energy engaging in hate or "my rich tax evading guy is better than your rich tax evading guy" discussions. They're all kinda shitty in their own way.
Furthermore, I would never judge anyone for liking/posting xyz driver who has done or said xyz thing, because at the end of the day I don't know these people and I have no grounds to "hold them accountable".
So yeah, as of this moment, I have no problem with what I'm currently doing.
Could this change? Absolutely 100%. I'm a human being and I'm allowed to change.
I hope that answers your question, again these are just my opinions and it's okay if you don't agree. I respect your opinion as well. Don't use me or anyone else as your own moral compass.
I just hope this is all coherent.
TLDR: do what keeps you sane on this site
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Fernando S2E2 - "Welcome Home"
#theres a lot of other random things i wanna post from this ep but this montage particularly stuck w me#waaahhh he seemed so lonely :((#THEY MADE HIM GO TO ABU DHABI ALONE OKAY :<#he misses his parents and sister so much sob sob#so he had to have a cinematic moment hahaha#like seriosuly just like that random moment w carlos sr from the first season its seriously so cinematic#like pls tell me in the tags what kinda movie this would be from hahaha#so the other stuff i might post is basically him just being puppy sad in his hotel room#...and i also took way too many clips of his hands cause...reasons. so uh yeah lmk if i should in fact make that#fernando alonso#f1#formula 1#fernando(show)#fernando s2e2#i love how ive posted other content from this ep(twink montage) but i feel like it got shadowbanned LMFAO#we do a little bit of f1
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"He’s frozen stiff, threatening claws now hovering down to the side—his eyes look huge in the darkness, that faint white glow giving just the slightest of his expression away.
He still doesn’t strike."
- all because of you (i do right) by puppyblue on ao3, Chapter 1. @puppyblueao3 here on tumblr i think!
(does this count as a fic rec or fanart. both, probably. rambles under the cut.)
SO uh—i'm really picky about fanfiction. like. really really picky.
i dunno why exactly, but i kinda have a hard time reading them right away bc a) i'm not really a shipper and that's most fanfiction i've seen and b) i like when i can really imagine the characters saying and doing whatever it is they're doing.
y'know the whole "he would not fucking say that" meme? lmao that's me, but with fanfics and only to myself. (i know everyone has their niche and i'm not here to police anybody's fun, just curate my own.)
anyway all that to say that i really, really liked this one. a lot. it's canon divergent off of into the spiderverse, and if you can believe it the comic is literally not a spoiler bc it's in the summary of the fic. but if you liked uncle aaron or even just are a sucker for redemption (? ish?) arcs, i think you'd like it! with all the angst and chaos from atsv it's a nice change of pace.
#into the spiderverse#itsv#into the spiderverse fanart#itsv fanart#aaron davis#miles morales#the prowler fanart#the prowler#um. what else do i tag this with#fanfic rec#maybe. i dunno#should i do this for more fics that i read?? i have a couple others but y'know#i'm a big nerd who just likes making things based off things that make me happy#we all need that sometimes i think#you would not BELIEVE the amount of time it took me to get to this layout for one page#like yeah i'm an amateur with comics and it could use work but. good god.#so many drafts... so many abandoned canvases...#i think part of it was bc i wanted to keep the little doodles so bad. like the hand with the mask?? i wanted to keep it#also the shadows are dark on the prowler on purpose bc that's how it's described but. might have made it brighter if i hadn't merged layers#just a bit. too late now though! *shrug*#i don’t have an ao3 account so there’s no real way for me to get this to the author#their tumblr seems inactive atm#but if they do happen to see it i hope they like it!#ney's art#ney's comics
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Moral Orel hit me in a sweet spot. I think it’s beautiful seeing fans on different paths discussing how the show touched them. I’ve seen people who’ve left the church, agnostics, atheists, and Christians all say the show spoke deeply to them. Of course the show’s black humor on religion offended many, especially before its last season aired, but I think the show’s resulting legacy - connecting to people who’ve both left and who’ve stayed - demonstrates successful nuance to how Moral Orel was crafted.
The show’s creators have said it’s not against religion per se, it’s against hypocrites. Even with the first season, I felt that and found appreciation (frankly, joy) for what was satirized. Here was a show speaking up, exaggerating, and lampooning the facets of Protestant American Christian culture I’ve vented about in confidence to relevant friends and family - without, like many modern shows which tackle this subject do, mocking followers themselves, faith itself, and suggesting to viewers one way of life is better than another, one group of people is (ex: intellectually) superior to another.
Some people have stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me when I left church,” or outright, “This show taught me there is no god.” And that’s not an unfair way to interact with Moral Orel because it doesn’t preach what you “should” do there (a sign of mature writing, really). I stepped away from Moral Orel and said, “This show comforted me in the areas I get frustrated,” which assuages my feelings and makes me more confident in my faith and place within culture.
I feel awkward in contemporary culture because I was raised with minimal secular exposure - daughter of a worship pastor, student at a private Christian school until high school. Meanwhile, in adulthood, I didn't attended church functions for over a dozen years. My group of friends have largely been non-Christians who hold negative opinions about the religion and don’t live remotely similar lifestyles to what I was raised with. I love what I've learned from them. Unfortunately, this also means the cultural building blocks that make me who I am seem shared by no one I'm around, which, even though I'm in my 30s, remains disorienting.
On the flipside, I'm the weirdo with the third eye in Christian spaces, too. I’m an ever-thirsty knowledge-seeker who strives to comprehend forbidden topics from all angles. I spent my twenties researching, questioning, rebuilding knowledge, and critically analyzing everything about the Bible. Church attendees and services feel painfully artificial, with mental blockers to topics I feel are critical to understand.
In either community I partake in, I feel “off.”
I’m grateful to have been raised by parents who didn’t pussyfoot around issues, with a father who deep-dives research. Discussions, delving, and digging into the hard stuff has always been fostered. My family spoke to pastors when we disagreed with their theology. I grew up around people who practiced passive acceptance, but my family was not that.
In the last year, I’ve returned more strongly to my faith and have been reintegrating with the Christian community. In some areas, my faith has grown and, humbly, I’ve learned much from peers. Despite stereotypes, I want to note that, in certain fields, the church community has always been deep and meticulous! And there are so many beautiful and uplifting areas in the church. But likewise there are those areas that get assumed, aren’t questioned, and aren’t… responded to well by questioning spirits. There have always been areas in the church culture I find disingenuous, foolish, illogical, limited, oversimplified, denialistic, or susceptible to hypocrisy and immorality. I’m not better than any person on this planet, but I’m rubbing shoulders with a community that has different blinders than I do, who don’t even consider asking the types of questions or seeking out the information I find necessary for a solidified faith.
Moral Orel disparages the toxic elements of Protestant culture, the misinterpretations, the artificial facades, the mindless assumptions, the poorly-hidden underbelly, all the areas Christian community can and does go wrong. It makes me feel justified feeling awkward in two worlds: someone for whom Christianity is deeply important, but someone whose mindset doesn’t jive with the rest of the town. Someone who can find and wants to find the best lessons outside of Christianity. Someone who believes in questioning, rethinking constantly, raising her eyebrows at common notions within church culture, and striving for the actual love, sincerity, dedication, and goodness our faith should be based on.
#Moral Orel#Christianity#religion#non-dragons#sad thing is this is the shortened version of my uh essay -_-#I suck at short so here's long!#I don't need to give MY LIFE STORY#or every grievance I have in church or my philosophy on what a Christian Should Know knowledge-wise#but yeah#instead of flinching at the hardest topics I believe in bludgeoning into them full force#aka#data and logic are made by God therefore#if God is true#I should be able to dive as deeply as I can into logic and come out the other side#faith isn't the same as data and I think Western culture gets that balance hella wrong#but faith isn't contradictory or trumped by it#anyway tags are getting off-topic#tldr love that Moral Orel is something that I can connect to#btw#there are so many beautiful beautiful things about the church which is why I love to be there#but of course there are those well-known elements that make me facepalm and I'm just talking about those#don't mean to portray the church incorrectly here either
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Aaaaaaahhhhhhhh today I've been constantly experiencing the urge to un-private today-in-the-devildom & start writing for it again
#i'm gonna ramble in the tags but#i've been talking with starr (if you're reading this--hi starr!! <3) about the blog today and sharing some of the entries#and it just made me miss it so much#+ the conversation actually made me realize some other reasons why i didn't enjoy the blog in general anymore#like i genuinely love the blog and i genuinely loved writing for it & that conversation reminded me of that#but also there were so many reasons that ultimately pushed me to more or less abandon the blog & then later private it too#so i'm kind of at a loss here#tbh i think i'm mostly just scared to pick the blog up again only for it to end exactly like last time i picked it back up#i've actually always wanted for the blog to be a source of inspiration y'know?#like the things mentioned in the entries are kinda just small ideas right#i was hoping that people would read these & feel inspired to write or draw something of their own based on my entries#that was actually what made me start the blog in the first place. the hope that i could inspire others that way#aaahhhhhh.... maybe it's on me since i could have more openly communicated that idea......#i did get to meet one wonderful person who wrote a few fics based on my entries tho!! (hi ali <3)#but yeah..there's that#also the way engagement just dropped significantly after a while#like i know i was gone for a good while & that a lot of people left the fandom and all that#but still getting maybe one reblog if i'm lucky really feels like a punch to the gut#ESPECIALLY considering that i was close to 900 followers on there#do you guys know that feeling when you proudly show someone you care about something you did only to get a disinterested answer?#yeah...#that's essentially how it feels like to me#and well as you might know the feeling of “why should i keep writing if apparently no one cares” eventually won... haha.....#but aaaahhhhh i'm still clinging onto the hope & what ifs here#that conversation with starr really just made me forget about everything that frustrated me about the blog & left me with this#longing feeling to start again lol#hey if you've made it this far into the tags let me just ask--would you care if i picked the blog back up?#would you also *show* that you care?#i'm actually quite curious (you could almost call me george lol)#anyway maybe we'll see each other on today-in-the-devildom again in the future.. who knows
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doodle. is this anything
#thomas the tank engine#thomas and friends#ttte rebecca#ttte sonny#ttte gordon#casa tidmouth#casa tidmouth act 2#senjart#fuck marvelous machineries bro I wish they never included the inventions part. not even campy it's just embarrassing#could've just made the thieves want to steal an engine or something and none of the plot would change#love how gordon and james and many others are still salty @ sonny#while thomas and rebecca and even diesel were like Yea you’re cool. sorry about what everyone else says. they're just haters#sonny: ''your teacher is quite tough eh''#rebecca: ''yeah sorry about that. he's a nice man but he's seen lots of weird things around here so''#image taken after marvelous machineries. should I even tag this as ship. whatever#rebecca x sonny
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idk which school/hospital/library/corporate office needs to hear this but your bathroom facilities need to have doors that lock and toilets and sinks that consistently work and soap and towel dispensers that are consistently stocked and floors with undamaged tile that people can safely walk or roll a wheelchair over and there need to be grab rails and hooks for basic accessibility functions and there needs to be a gender-neutral bathroom that people can access without requesting a key or climbing seven flights of stairs with no elevator and there needs to be a safe place for women who cannot undress in the same room as a man to change and there need to be sanitary bins for disposing of menstrual supplies and there needs to not be broken glass just left on the floor for weeks at a time literally ever and yes, all of this costs money, but it is actually a good use of funds to make sure people can physically be in the building where your organization is located without compromising their health or safety or dignity. institutional recognition of the needs of the human body or i kill you!!
#op#politics#?#i dont know how to tag this im just ticked off at my university's bad priorities#which are shared by so many of the other places ive been recently#and like there are so many other things that in an ideal world WOULD be standard in bathroom facilities#like sharps containers#or larger women's bathrooms with more stalls in recognition of the fact that people who cannot use urinals take longer in the bathroom#etc#but so many public buildings dont even meet the basic standard of ''can take a piss here without being unsafe unhygienic or humiliated''#and like. yeah this isnt a sexy issue to allocate funds to. i get that.#but since presumably most of your students/customers/citizens/whatever are human... maybe your location should be designed for human use!!
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maybe this is a controversial opinion but like....some of yall are getting Way too comfortable at the idea of killing another human being just because theyre “problematic”
#like idk it just rly rubs me the wrong way#some people on here see someone with a '''bad'''' opinion or moral stance and are like#well then die :)#like....maybe chill a bit#i know ive personally said elon musk and jeff bezos could die tomorrow and id be like jesus finally#and maybe im being a hypocrite but i feel theres a difference between saying that#capitalist pigs that hold all the worlds money and dont do shit to help fix the world or whatever#and instead spend it on going to space for fun or buying a social media site only to run it to the ground#could honestly die today and id be like yeah we're better off than like#saying a celebrity should die for being problematic or something#i see it with like creators and vas and other random users too#like u guys need to stop being so comfortable being so horrible#and understand that there are so many differing opinions and morals in the world#u are not righteously good because you feel you are the ''least problematic'' because good and bad are not things that are so black and whit#also wishing death upon someone for having a kind of shitty opinion when instead you could be wishing that they eventually become educated#and change their views and morals#thats not rly up the alley of 'good guy' lol#vent tag#sorry all my thoughts are in the tags
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not to be mentally ill but today when i went for a walk in a nature reserve i was climbing a hill and it was cold but so so sunny and everything looked beautiful and i saw so many cool things and i stood there and was like damn what's this feeling in my chest and why am i smiling so much?? my guy,, it's called fucking happiness. i was just present and content in the moment and couldn't contain myself so kept doing the silly arm shake thing i do and grinning at everything and then was like woah what's this feeling. fuckin, happiness dude.
#think the arm shake thing might be stimming (??) i referred to it as pogging and was informed that i've been using that word incorrectly#but yeah stimming ig#the arm shakes!! we all know them...#anyway do you ever get the feeling that other people experience happiness differently to you?#idk last week i was v depressed and now ive had a couple days in a row where ive been giggling with people and ive been cuddled and kissed#and today i took myself off on a walk and i was so so happy and then as i was walking back to my car#i had the gut wrenching feeling that i needed to text my parents that i'd been outside and had a good day and saw multiple cool animals#and that i loved them. because i suddenly got really worried that i would die on the way home and no one would know i'd been really happy??#even though id literally sent my bestie loads of photos and texts and a literal voice note while staring at a robin lol#anyway and then i was floored by the realisation that i carely deeply about whether i died or not#because i was pmsing last week and that is a terrible time for me and i end up being kind of passively suicidal ig#so to have such a big change in the space of a week was a huge shock#these tags are sooo incoherent and span so many emotions#i promise i've had a really lovely day. i just am anxious all the time and depressed sometimes#in a way that is harder to predict now my periods have stopped.#im realising this is the kind of stuff that should probably go in my diary but i've got this far with the tags that i can't be asked.#if anyone is still reading#you do not have to respond to this or like it in any way. i promise lol
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guys hear me out i feel like some things are said or done either because of ignorance or bigotry, and i do think they are two different things and that to some extent ignorance can be excusable. but being unwilling to learn from your ignorance is in itself bigotry. in my opinion
#fearandhatred#like there's a fine line between the two#just realised this is also relevant to a Certain Person...#but really i started thinking about this because of my friend who blew up on me (see leanne's travel blog tag)#because she's always been a little..... strange#and held strange views i think because of her upbringing#she literally has said she does not care about social issues at all and that she doesn't find speaking about them conducive to her#ok anyway i've known her for almost a decade now and for the longest time i have been attributing her views to ignorance#because i do think it's true to an extent#and she is a good person in other ways#but idk how many more excuses i got left in me bro#because some of the things she's said on this trip have genuinely shocked me and my other friends#and i know nothing we say will change her mindset because she just don't gaf#so anyway yeah#maybe i should just start acknowledging that she may be a bigot or something!#honestly i forgave her for that incident at that moment but my bsf was and is still SO insanely pissed on my behalf at what she said to me#that idk i may just. stop interacting with her#we will see we will see
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#Honestly don't get people who follow me here and even less so that interact semi steadily with my posts#I literally don't follow myself on this sideblog lol#Thanks though. It feels a bit validating haha#I feel my overall opinions are so unpopular in the general fandom that I never end up writing them down for safekeeping#because I would want to find them in my own blog but with tumblr's tagging system that would mean them potentially reaching other people#and thus potentially getting blocked by blogs‚ and as a consequence not getting to see many posts I would love#So yeah it feels like a cordial *pat pat* at times#I am never really insecure at all about my reading capabilities because that's my whole thing but it does feel lonely somewhat#and makes one wonder about some things like whether something is escaping me or if really that's the state of things out there#And lonely even in the mere appreciation of dynamics‚concepts‚ characters‚ motifs‚...that are often dismissed almost entirely by the fandom#This post and this rambling has no telos really#Just how baffling I find to have people follow this blog and even like my posts#And how baffling too the realisation that it can be kind of sweet#Like that line of Benedick '(...) is not that strange?' and Beatrice's reply 'As strange as'#I reread that play yesterday night and truly that line is amazing. One of the love confessions of all time. I love their dynamic#And still is the active/passive roles linked to gender‚ bastardy and the assertion of one's existence and life#in the characters of Hero and don John which always obsess me the most about it#Ahfksjkd but I'm rambling again. If anywhere at all I should write those thoughts on my main blog. Definitely not here#I talk too much#As usual#I should probably delete this later#How do I always end up rambling and about things barely or straight up absolutely unrelated to the initial topic? Ugh#I can't even begin to tell how annoying I am in my first language
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ah. seems the special interest i've now had for 23 months, the only one that still consumes a portion of my mind at all times, just turned six today, and not a single one of the several lists I have to keep track of such anniversaries bothered to warn me of this early enough that I could actually draw something for it in time
#HAPPY BIRTHDAY HK. I WILL TRY TO DRAW SOMETHING FOR YOU BUT I HAVE A BUNCH OF OTHER STUFF GOING ON!!!#it's something dear to my heart...played it two years ago and i still like it a lot!! it's stuck with me is what i guess i mean#peridots-nonsense#hollow knight#that should be all but it's not. ough. hk is one of those games i wish i could play for the first time again...#it was such a wonderful experience and i still love its characters so much...#don't post about it much anymore considering how many other fandoms/worlds i have to draw for now#but. yeah#it's also what gave me my love for bugs!!! and that's such an integral part of me now that i can't imagine what would've happened#had i never played it. (spoiler alert i actually would've played bug fables instead! it was an interesting thing to learn that so many#hk fans liked bf too. i learned of bftes first because my mom pointed it out (once again this was before i even liked arthropods!!#coincidences!!) but i ended up buying hk months before bf because my best friend (and now partner...) liked it)#lol it's only Technically feb24 in my time zone i just have a bad sleep schedule. i still have time but art's a long process for me#anyway. goodbye dear tag-wanderer! you should play hollow knight if you're not already here for that :]#WAIT I ALSO GOTTA WATCH THE JAYROCK/N STREAM TODAY...slash tomorrow but yk
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One of the most self indulgent aus I've made in a while :3c Sol gets eebied and has a bad time, more at 10
[image id: a digital drawing of a pokemon trainer oc, Sol, showing how they change across a span of time in four stages. In each drawing, they are a white person with brown hair shaved on one side, blue eyes, and glasses. Their clothes change periodically as time passes.
In the first stage, labeled "First Day," Sol is wearing the survey corps uniform from the galaxy team, which consists of a red cap, a blue coat with fluffy white collars on the neck and sleeves, blue pants, tall socks, and woven sandals. They are standing visibly uncomfortably, pulling the collar away from their neck with one hand and grimacing at the scarf they're holding in the other hand. Around them are various notes, pointing out the fact that they are a scarf and hat hater, and that the sandals feel weird.
In the second stage, labeled "First ~Month" Sol is now wearing mostly their usual clothes, with some alterations. They still wear the survey corps coat, though now unbuttoned, and nothing else from the uniform. They have on their usual purple shirt, ripped grey jeans, and black shoes. They are also still wearing their black and yellow striped jacket, though it's around their waist to make room for the survey corps coat. They seem much more confident now, holding a pokeball in one hand and partially leaning forward/crouching down determinedly. Around them are notes pointing out some burns on their clothes, how their jeans have ripped much more than they were previously, and the arctrans on their wrist (previously an xtrans).
In the third stage, labeled "Red Sky," Sol is no longer wearing the survey corps coat. Their black and yellow jacket is properly on now, and their outfit is otherwise the same as it was before, though the colors are beginning to fade and they're much more damaged than they were before. Sol is hunched forward nervously, gripping their sleeve in one hand and a pokeball in the other. Their hair is much longer and flatter, reflecting the fact that they are visibly falling apart.
In the fourth and final stage, labeled "Post Red Sky" Sol is still wearing the same outfit as previous stage. The colors are much more faded now, making the jacket seem more grey and pale yellow than their previous vibrant colors. They glare out at the world, clutching a pokeball threateningly, other hand clenched into a fist as if ready to punch someone at a moments notice. Their hair has a significant amount of grey in it now, whereas previously it had only been a few sparse streaks. Various notes around them say that they got a haircut, are now extremely distrustful, and that while they won't wear the survey corps coat anymore, they did put the patches onto their coat (more for identification purposes than any real loyalty to the team).
The background is an abstract block of color, starting with yellow and progressing into red as time passes. End id]
#art#my art#digital art#lemon yemon#my oc#oc: sol#trainersona#pokemon trainer oc#squints should i tag this w pla#pla au#yeah there we go#so it doest filter into people looking for canon content#i have. SO many thoughts#ive already decided xyr team and ive got some scenes rattling around in my head and so many ideas for other things#this was verrrry fun to do :3 i should do self indulgent stuff like this more often#get eebied au#daybreak au#<- new tag for this au
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words are confusing me and im gonna be sad in tags
#yeah here i go#in the tags#idk man#i feel like no one.. likes me? like I don't know. like im just not a likeable person#and that people don't want to be around me and just like. idk. theyre just being polite or smth i feel so left out a lot of the time#and i know im very much a lot to blame for that im very unsociable. rusty people skills? no? okay.#but like. idk. no one really. like. goes out of their way to talk to me? and thats not smth that should matter. i know people have their#own lives and their own things. but dont call me your friend if you're not even gonna like say hi once in a while#and its not like these people dont text or are Like Me™ they text others ALL the TIME#like#is it me? am i the problem? is it the way i look or smile or talk? or is the things i say or do or not do or not say?#and if it was a one off its like whatever that's not Me™ but if its so many people in a row and over the years its like#its me right? im the problem its me? im the common denominator here. it cant not be me anymore#and it doesnt help whatsoever that where i live no one speaks their goddamn fucking mind like SAY IT TO MY FACE#dont have me crying about you at 1am because youre too much of a coward to say you dont like me im grown up i can handle it#ill still cry but like. not as much? not as painfully. it wont feel like whatever i give is been stomped on because Im Not Good Enough#sorry#rant over#sjonnie brainrot#sjonnies sad wanks
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Being on Tumblr is just like. Going into a fandom tag. Reading like 3 posts. Vowing to not go into that tag again.
Going back into it the next day.
#at least today was uhhhhh. less bad.#honestly kinda funny bc there were so many#''It's so obvious Ship A is canon and not Ship B because of these things.'' - ''Ship B is clearly canon Ship A is not''#One after another#As someone with low to no stakes in either it's just kinda like. lmao. chill.#Like yeah ship whatever and it's always nice to see things that imply your ship#(I still smile over ''Dig in there Mr Spock'' and ''Captain please. Not in front of the Klingons.'' :) )#But you don't need to like. argue against other ships.#Fandom is a playground and y'all are not gonna run out of sand lmao#But god yesterday or the day before was. Oof.#Though also a bit funny bc there were two posts right after another like#''Character A is NOT badly written y'all just suck'' - ''Gosh I wish Character A wasn't so badly written 😭''#from different people obviously but still skfjwkfj#But uhhh yeah I think I should stay out of the tag.#The fandom can be 1 mutual; 1 close friend I spam on Discord; and a few online pals in a Discord thread#... i plan on writing fanfic for it tho and i'm already. curious. whether that'll finally get me hit by fandom drama#I'm usually good at avoiding it but I do not trust this fandom in particular#Also a lotta people in this tag that go ''Their relationship can't be X because clearly no one in X relationship would act like that''#which just made very clear they have probably never experienced said type of relationship lmao#Had to add some tags but I'm done now. maybe this time I'll manage to stay out of the tag skfnskfns#I should before the Shipping Arguments make me dislike the ships I enjoyed or was at least neutral about lmao
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