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#so instead I'll just pretend he never said anything''
semi-sketchy · 2 days
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Alright, since I'm at that episode, I'm gonna elaborate on my actual problem with Dark Sonic:
To be honest, I don't think there's anything really wrong with Sonic during the episode. He's angry his friends have been hurt by a villain, so he harnesses the power of the fake Emeralds (which he has a physical negative reaction to) and smashes said villain's testing robots to pieces.
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I never really considered this a problem. Sonic can get angry, be antagonized, the SA2 Shadow fight in Green Forest springs to mind.
Plus, Secret Rings has Darkspine Sonic, which is about as close to Dark Sonic as it gets. Sharha just died, trading her life for his, he absorbs the Rage, Sadness and Hatred Rings and transforms.
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Even after he leaves the transformation, he still seems pretty pissed at Erazor Djinn, with killing Sharha at the top of the list.
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So, yeah. It's not 1:1 and I'm not claiming these are the same, X is obviously more exaggerated, but I don't really have a problem with the concept. We can talk about how Eggman comes in, tells Sonic he needs to be better and not let his emotions overwhelm him, but frankly I think that's more of an X!Eggman issue than the transformation itself.
No, my real problem is, and always has been, how the fandom interpreted it. That's it. I've read so many fics, seen so many posts about Sonic just "turning dark" when angry, as if any transformations have ever been purely emotion without an external power-source. (Super requires the Chaos Emeralds, Hyper the Super Emeralds, Darkspine was 3 of the World Rings, Werehog was Dark Gaia energy, Excalibur Sonic was the sacred swords, Wisp transformations needed the Wisps, Super Sonic 2 was Chaos Emeralds + Cyber energy....you get it.)
The way I've always saw it, is yes, Sonic is upset, but he also is being affected by the fake Emeralds.
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This is the Discotek translation, I don't know enough Japanese to say how accurate it is, all I know know is "warui" means bad/sick depending on the sentence. An older translation (and the English dub) points to him feeling physically sick around them.
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Far as I can tell, he's already reacting bad to these Emeralds on top of being antagonized, so he uses power that's at his disposal does what the villain wants: fuck up his shit.
If the fake Emeralds didn't exist, this transformation wouldn't have happened. Additionally, since X ended and the only fake Emerald in the games was blown up in SA2, it can't happen again. (Unless you write scenario where someone makes fake Emeralds, but that requires writing for the form instead of just slapping it in à la characters in IDW.)
Perhaps I'm being too hard on a lot of kids that never really interacted with the source material and just wanted to write Sonic fanfics. I've read so many that made it quite obvious that the author didn't know anything about Sonic besides he's fast and I'm not really out here trying to say Sonic shouldn't inspire people to create. Never said I hated reading those fics, I got a good deal of entertainment out of them. It's simply this misconception has stretched so far, it's like the original context has been entirely erased.
And that's the part of Dark Sonic that bothers me.
I've seen plenty of arguments for why the transformation was a poor choice and I don't entirely disagree with them. For me, I could take it or leave it. It was a one-off short transformation in an anime where Sonic pretends to be Star Trek for a season, it just exists to me.
Although, it's been awhile since I last saw discussion of Dark Sonic, as a whole it seemed to be a bigger thing in the early 2010s. Possibly because now we have more recent Sonic shows and movies, it's not just X being the latest thing anymore. I certainly don't read fics like I used to, so I'd be surprised if it is still as heavily used as it used to be. Maybe if I get some time, I'll look up some fics and find out.
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robotslenderman · 11 months
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Okay but I think if Zain and Sullivan got together it would be purely because Evie keeps introducing them under the bathroom door like a couple of cats, because the more I watch them interact in my head, the more intimidated they are by each other.
friendly reminder these are grown-ass men.
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appocalipse · 1 year
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RIGHT WHERE I WANT TO BE : ̗̀➛ SIRIUS BLACK
summary: it's only when lily accidentally spills amortentia on you and all you can smell is cigarettes and dog fur that you realize you're in love with sirius — probably the only person in the world you shouldn't be in love with.
"Oh, crap!" Lily seems on the verge of panic as she stares at the fresh stain on your clothes. "I'm so sorry!"
Somewhat shocked, you reach your hand to the front of your uniform and try to rub it away. It's no use. "It's okay," you assure her gently, relieved that the liquid didn't spill on the clean set of clothes you were folding instead, "it was an accident."
You put the clothes safely away in the trunk near your bed. They still have the fresh and clean scent of lavender. Your uniform, however…
Lily points her wand at your chest, and the stain quickly disappears. She had rushed through the entrance of the dormitory fast as lightning, crashing right into you and spilling…
Well, what exactly?
"Lily," you bring a hand to your own face, sniffing, then sniffing again. "What is this? It smells like a wet dog and-"
Your eyes meet and you immediately dislike the look on her face. Too much restrained excitement slowly bubbling up...
"-cigarettes…" you trail off, some sort of realization dawning on you way too late.
It can't be.
Lily bites her lower lip as if trying to hold back a smile. "Is that what it smells like to you?"
You also catch the scent of quill ink and freshly brewed coffee, so it can only be…
You put your hand away from your nose as if it's on fire.
"Tell me this is not what I think this is."
"If you're not thinking of Amortentia, then yes."
"Why would you brew Amortentia?!"
"For Professor Slughorn," she sees the confusion etched on your face and looks positively horrified. "Not for Professor Slughorn to drink! Ew! I said I'd like to try brewing one because it's, you know, a bit complicated and I've never tried before. He said he'd give Gryffindor some points if I succeeded. I didn't know you would… you know, smell Sirius."
"I never said I smelled him!"
"Okay! Okay," Lily raises both hands in surrender. Then, quieter, she adds, "You can pretend all you want."
You sigh. "Did you only have this vial?"
"Well, there should be some potion left in the cauldron, I think."
Great. An opportunity to escape this beyond strange situation. "I'll go get it for you."
"But I-"
You're out the Gryffindor common room before Lily has a chance to question your offer. The need to get away from that impending conversation is stronger than anything else right now.
Your heart is racing as you walk through the corridors of the castle, heading towards the dungeons, where Potions class usually take place. Each step is an effort to calm your turbulent mind and find some peace.
Upon reaching the Potions classroom, you welcome the silent space as you enter. The characteristic smell of magical ingredients and herbs fills your nostrils, bringing a familiar and almost comforting sensation… until you catch that smell. Amortentia.
You look around, searching for Lily's cauldron, which she mentioned leaving behind.
It's not hard to find; the smell is quite distinct, enchanting, all the things you love most in the world somehow united in a single aroma.
The cauldron is sitting on one of the workbenches. You approach cautiously, making sure not to knock anything over. Then you rummage through the shelves for an empty vial and pour some of the potion into it, feeling like you're doing something wrong even though Lily had Slughorn's permission.
The door opens, and you almost drop a row of glass bottles as you turn to look.
"What are you doing here?" he asks.
It's Sirius. Of course, it's him.
He closes the door behind him, and your heart skips a beat as it usually does whenever he's around. He's wearing the Gryffindor uniform, the first two buttons undone, revealing a patch of delicate skin just below his neck.
You don't need to wonder how he got there or why. Chances are, he extracted every piece of information he needed from Lily with little to no effort.
"What are you doing?" he asks calmly. You, on the other hand, don't feel calm at all.
"Nothing, just..."
"Just?" He takes a step closer, and you instinctively move away from the workbench, trying not to show the nervousness you truly feel.
"I just came to get something," you say.
Sirius gives a suspicious glance at the cauldron. "Is it a love potion?" He's a skilled wizard. Skilled enough to know the answer to that question, yet he waits for you to respond.
"Lily made it," you say defensively, holding up the vial containing the potion to illustrate your point unnecessarily.
"And what scent do you smell?" he questions, with a genuine curiosity in his tone that catches you off guard. "What does the potion smell like to you?"
"Lily told you," it's far from a question.
But Sirius has a knack for playing games.
"She told me what?"
"You know what."
This time, you step back as he advances, unable to help yourself, swallowing hard and Sirius notices. He takes another step forward, and you take another step back.
"Sirius," you warn.
In return, Sirius says your name, his tone lighter, more playful, soft as a feather. Then, another step.
You nearly bump your hip against one of the workbenches as you take another desperate step back. Sirius, being Sirius, raises an eyebrow, making no effort to hide his amusement.
It's unfair. It's simply unfair that he's so good-looking, starting at you without feeling the need to averting his gaze. "You don't have to do this," you find yourself saying.
Sirius seems genuinely puzzled.
"Do what?"
You steal a glance in your peripheral vision. The room won't go on forever; you need to say something to get out of this situation before he gets too close. You don't trust yourself near Sirius.
"Turn me down. Be all nice-" you stutter. He keeps advancing toward you. Back almost against the wall, you dodge another workbench and turn to the left, trying to prevent him from cornering you.
Sirius chuckles. "Is that what you think?"
"I'm a big girl. I can take rejection."
He glances in the direction of the cauldron. "Do you want to know what scent I smell?"
"No."
"Leather-"
"Sirius-"
"Gasoline," he raises his chin, nose in the air as if enjoying one scent after another. "Apple pie."
For a moment, you close your eyes. "Stop it."
"And lavender."
Your heart is pounding in your chest. He's not being serious, a little voice in your mind insists. It can't be serious. He's just teasing you... or maybe just being a good friend. Too good a friend.
It would be easier if he wasn't. If he were less kind to you, less handsome, less charming.
It's not easy.
You're breathless, trying to keep your distance from Sirius as he sets a slow advance, a constant tease. It's an internal battle between the desire to give in to the attraction you feel for him and the need to protect yourself — but the latter wins, for now.
"Sirius," you plead, your voice quiet, "stop"
He pauses for a moment, his gray eyes fixed on yours. "You think I'm joking, don't you? You think I'm just being nice?"
"I... I don't know, Sirius. It's so...confusing."
He takes yet another step towards you, his lips curling into a challenging smile. Always challenging. "Confusing or scary?"
The tension between you two is palpable, and you wonder if he can hear the rapid beating of your heart, threatening to break out of your rib cage any given moment. You know you're fighting your own feelings, afraid of surrendering to something that may - and probably will - end in heartbreak.
"It's not fair," you whisper, trying to keep your voice steady. "It's not fair that you're so... so-"
"So what?" he teases, closer. "So handsome? So charming? So... irresistible?"
You can tell he's somehow having fun. You don't understand how he can maintain a playful tone in a moment like this.
You catch a whiff of his cologne, feel the warmth of his body, and your heart races once again. If there's a way to prevent Sirius from getting what he wants, you don't know what it is. "So confusing," you finish, almost in a whisper. "You confuse the hell out of me."
Sirius pauses for a moment, his eyes locked with yours, and you momentarily catch a flicker of something deeper in this playful gaze. He slowly raises a hand and gently, gentler than ever, caresses your face, his fingers tracing a delicate path along your skin.
"I don't see how I could be confusing you," he murmurs, his voice soft and husky. "I thought I was being pretty clear..." It's teasing, of course it is; when it comes to Sirius, few things aren't.
But there's something else behind it, too.
The air grows heavier.
"You're not clear about anything, Sirius," you reply, your voice faltering slightly. "I never know what you're thinking. I never know what you really mean."
"Maybe you're just not paying attention."
You furrow your brow, confused by Sirius' response. He's playing with you, as he always does, but this time it feels more intense, more meaningful. You struggle against the temptation to give in completely, to say something you might not be able to take back.
"I do pay attention, Sirius," you respond, your voice showing determination you're not entirely sure you feel. "It's you who likes to make everything more difficult than it needs to be."
He moves closer once again, so close now that you can feel his breath against your skin, the tip of his nose an inch away from touching yours.
"Do you want me to be clearer?" he whispers, voice laced with a hint of his usual mischief. "Make it easier?"
You swallow, feeling your heart race. You know you can't admit your feelings for him, you can't let your defenses down. Not when he makes a point to hide comfortably behind a facade, away from anything that makes him feel vulnerable.
You need honesty.
"Yes," you whisper, your voice almost faltering. "Yes, I do."
Sirius pauses for a moment, eyes searching yours, and you can feel your breath catch in your throat. Then, slowly, he moves closer and closer still, until his lips almost touch yours.
There is a feeling that you can't quite put into words.
"I want you," he murmurs, an admission that hangs in the air like a charged electric current. "I want to be with you. I want you to be happy– I'll even accept your awful taste in music," he adds with a playful smirk, teasingly referencing your occasional guilty pleasure for a particular genre of music that he often mocks.
A laugh escapes your lips, a combination of relief and affection. His sincerity is pretty close to melting away any remaining doubts that linger in your heart. "I have great taste in music," you state playfully.
Sirius brushes the side of his nose against yours affectionately. "Sometimes," he gives in, voice filled with genuine warmth.
You lean into his touch, savoring the tenderness and intimacy of the moment. It's as if the world around you has faded away, leaving only the two of you in this bubble of shared emotions.
"Sometimes?" you raise an eyebrow, pretending to be offended.
He chuckles, a low and melodic sound that resonates deep within your chest, a sound you don't get to hear as often as you'd like. "You're lucky you're pretty," he teases, his voice filled with affectionate playfulness.
"Oh?"
"I have a soft spot for pretty girls."
You roll your eyes but can't help the smile that forms on your lips. "Flattery will get you nowhere, Black."
Sirius leans in and presses a soft kiss to your cheek, pulling away with a mischievous glint in his eyes.
"Who said I was trying to get anywhere?" he whispers, fingers trailing along the curve of your waist, drawing you closer. "I'm already where I want to be."
Your heart swells with warmth, and you can feel a blush creeping up your cheeks.
"Smooth talker."
It doesn't sound like an accusation when you're about to kiss him.
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crxss01 · 10 months
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hii! can i request where e42 miles and reader
break up and the reader finds someone new, and miles gets jealous, and so on.
— Dark Paradise
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pairing ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ 42! miles morales x reader
summary ⁺˚⋆。°✩₊ miles breaks up with you to keep you safe from his prowler business. he expected that you would move on eventually, but that didn’t mean that he had to be okay with that.
warnings ✧˖ ° angst, hurt/comfort, possessivenesses, threatening, miles is a lil toxic, cheating (not on reader and don’t do this to people), breaking up then getting back together, a little suggestive in the end.
m. list, main m. list.
translations ✧࿓☾ bonito: handsome/pretty boy, carajo: shit, (mi) princesa: (my) princess.
a/n . . ◟੭ hey, sweet anon! i love seeing miles following after the reader like a puppy, i hope you enjoy that as well!
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"you can't do this to me!" you exclaimed. "to us!"
his face was stone cold and just like the first time you two met, you couldn't read his eyes at all so you didn't know if he really wanted this or if he was doing it for some other selfish reason.
where did it all went wrong? you two were happy together then suddenly he was distant and cold towards you, pushing you away little by little until you finally noticed and confronted him about it and there you were now. him admitting to having loss feelings for you and breaking your heart with two words 'break up'.
"listen, it was all good, i won't lie. but things change, feelings change and i don't want you anymore." miles shrugged.
"this is just so easy for you, isn't it?" you snarled at him, then pointed to the door of your bedroom. "get out." you had refused to shed even a single tear in front of him.
"i don't want to end things on bad terms, ma." miles put his hands up.
"should've thought about it before you said you 'didn't want me anymore' as if i'm some object." you snapped at him. "now, get out of my house."
you started pushing him towards the door of your bedroom and when you pushed him out, you slammed the door shut behind him, locking it in the process. you leaned back against it and slid down, your hands coming up to your face, tears furiously falling down like a waterfall from your eyes, and sobs coming out of your throat one after another.
you sighed at the memory, your emotions had been uncontrollable and you never wanted to go through that again. that hurt like nothing else had hurt you in this world and you hated miles for being the cause of it.
now marked two months of your break up and last week you decided to give relationships a try again, but not before making sure that this guy you were going out with wasn't a stone hearted dumbass criminal that would leave you as if you were simple trash.
"how about this one?" your boyfriend, lucas, asked.
"yeah." you nodded pretending to like the plushie he was choosing to take out of the machine for you, he was so nice and it left a pain in your chest that you didn't feel anything for him.
sure, you liked him but it was a platonic feeling. you tried hard the past few days to at least feel a little spark with him but it was all in vain.
"you don't like it, do you?" he gave a shy smile, scratching his ear. something you noticed that he did when he was nervous or embarrassed. "it's okay, choose one and i'll take it out."
you tried to give him a comforting smile, but it came out awkward. "i like that one." you pointed at the one you liked the most.
lucas nodded and put the amount of money needed in the machine and started guiding the control towards the plushie you chose.
"come on, bonito, you can do it!" you encouraged him, accidentally calling him by the pet name you used to call miles. even though it was an accident you made no attempt to correct it and instead dismissed the thought of miles (or at least tried to).
"carajo!" lucas exclaimed when the plushie fell back down after picking up with the metal grabber.
"move, man." lucas got pushed away from the machine. "let me show you how to do this properly."
"you can't be serious." you deadpanned at miles. "what are you doing here, miles?"
"it's an arcade, mami." miles said innocently. "anyone can come here."
you rolled your eyes, but he was right.
lucas frowned at miles, "if you wanted to use it, you could've just asked. no need to be fucking aggressive."
miles ignored him for a moment, putting money inside the machine, controlling the metal grabber thing and grabbing the exact plushie you had picked out and successfully pulling it out of the machine, bending down to take it out and giving it to you.
"here, princess." he said, but when you didn't take it he just grabbed your arm and put it around the plushie. "remember that you only have one bonito in your life." he told you, eyes going hard a little bit but they turned to complete stone when he looked at lucas. "and you, watch your tone."
"who the fuck do you think you are?" lucas asked, angrily.
"her one and only." miles shrugged and walked away.
his corny ass.
"don't listen to him," you told lucas and started making your way to the nearest trash can, pulling him along and throwing the plushie inside. "let's go somewhere else."
you and lucas had been dating for three weeks now and outdoor dates were impossible for both of you because miles kept showing up everywhere you two went, always finding a way to put some type of claim over you in front of lucas and you could tell that the boy was getting tired of miles since once his sweet soul even tried to talk things out without using violence but it ended with miles punching him and a fight breaking out between the two that miles, obviously, won.
now, you and lucas were hanging outside school waiting for your group of friends to come out so you could all go to the park together.
"we could skate." you suggested when lucas asked for ideas of what to do for your next date.
"that sounds dangerous."
miles would've agreed about skating together, you and him enjoyed doing that a lot. he taught you how to do it and it bought back fond memories.
"what about playing board games?"
"that's boring to do with a girlfriend."
miles enjoyed beating you every single time so he would have agreed to play that with you in a heartbeat.
"oh! how about painting?"
"i don't know how to paint."
miles was an artist, he did graffiti and sketched (sometimes). he had taught you how to draw many things and would've said yes to that idea just to feel the intimacy of teaching you more stuff.
"then come up with something on your own." you rolled your eyes.
"come on, sweetheart." lucas laughed. "are you really going to get mad at me for that?"
"of course, she will." miles suddenly appeared again. "you're boring as fuck, man. which is why she would never be yours."
"miles, don't start." you said, already tired of his ass. but deep inside you even if you didn't want to acknowledge it, you always looked forward to the moment that he would show up.
"hola, princesa." miles smirked, looking at you up and down. "you look good."
he said that even though you were wearing the uniform but it made you feel warm inside.
"can you leave my girlfriend alone?"
"can you stop calling her yours?" miles raised an eyebrow. "she is not yours and would never be. she already belongs to me."
"i belong to none of you, i'm my own person." you said, why the fuck were they talking like you weren't there? like you were some object?
miles chuckled, a deep one that had his head throwing back and he looked at you, a dark glint in his eyes. "you and i both know that is not true." then he leaned in to you, but lucas pushed him away. "see you later, princesa. mi princesa." he added the last bit with a smirk.
"and you're lucky i'm in a hurry, or i would've knocked your ass down." he told lucas then winked your way before finally leaving.
as you laid on your bed, you couldn't help but think about everything that has happened this past few weeks that had to do with miles.
at first after your break up he ignored you completely and it wasn't like you wanted to talk to him, but if he wanted to be on good terms he could have at least spoken to you and apologized yet he didn't.
then the moment you started dating again, he suddenly reappears in your life. acting as if you were an object that he had absolute possession of, and it made you so mad that the only way to get his attention was to be with someone else.
"you dumb bitch." you cursed, slapping your hand against your face. "this whole time..."
this whole time you were just trying to get miles' attention or trying to replace him with lucas, you weren't trying to 'give relationships a try again' it was all bullshit.
you have been comparing every single thing that lucas did to miles, every single decision that lucas had made would make you think of what miles would do in his place. it was like you were wishing that lucas would turn into miles this entire time.
"i have to see him..." you whispered. "now."
you stood up, not even bothering to change out of your pijamas and ran out of your house and into the dangerous night. miles lived two blocks away and you hoped that he wasn't doing some prowler business since it was at this time in which he would normally work.
when you got there, you grabbed the key hiding in the plant pot and opened the door. you left all regrets behind you and stepped in, there was no movement in the kitchen area and the living room so ms. morales was probably doing a night shift.
"miles?" you called out, then made your way to his room. "miles." you stood outside the door of his room and sighed before knocking.
“hey, princesa.”
you jumped and turned around. miles was standing right behind you, head cocked to the side looking at you up and down.
“gosh, you scared me.” you put a hand on your chest.
“you’re the one in my house.” miles said.
you realized that he was wearing his prowler suit so he must have just came back from some mission.
“i want you to tell me what do you want with me?” you went straight to the point.
“i want everything with you. get marry, have kids, die together and all of that corny ass shit.” miles sighed.
“then why did you break up with me?” you asked, hurt clear in your voice.
“i was threaten by someone, this person was way too dangerous and they found out about you and i just couldn’t let you be hurt, i mean you’re everything to me.” miles confessed. “but now, they aren’t a problem anymore. it took time but my uncle and i took care of it.”
“so this person only happened to know about me? what about your mom?” you raised a suspicious eyebrow.
“thankfully, they didn’t know about my mom but the only reason they found out about you was because i made the mistake of going to your house right after a mission.” he explained.
you nodded, not knowing if you should believe him but it didn’t matter. nothing mattered anymore because you wanted miles and his name and face was the only thing in your mind.
“i want you to end things with that little hispanic boy.” miles said after a while of silence.
“you’re hispanic too.” you said with a little smirk.
“i know, that’s why you got with him.” miles grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a kiss which you reciprocated.
your arms came around his neck while one of his came around your waist and the other hand grabbed a handful of your ass making you let out a gasp into the kiss. “mine.” he murmured. “all mine.”
“all yours.” you agreed before connecting your lips with his again.
his lips tasted sweet and you weren’t surprised because they always had that taste on them, making you want more of it and you couldn’t get enough. you needed him to keep kissing you all night long, in the morning, the afternoon and during the night again. you wanted his kisses to last forever.
“who’s the only bonito in your life, princesa?” he asked as he kissed down your neck, biting softly here and there.
you didn’t answer, too lost in the feeling of his lips and the pleasure that they were bringing you which caused miles to let go of your ass so that he could wrap his hand around the back of your neck and pull your face to look at him.
“answer me.” it sounded like an order and knowing miles you had no doubt it was.
“you are.” you told him, a little breathless. “i love you, bonito.”
“and i love you, mi princesa.” miles smiled and opened the door to his room, pulling you inside.
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ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ reblogs are really appreciated!
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Cold as ice
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a/n I honestly hope you all will cry the way I cried writing this because now I genuinely need four to five business days to recover. Because never have I actually needed to take a minute to sob in the middle of writing.
summary: what happens when Ellie stumbles upon a memorial that turns out to have both your and Joel's kids names on it. When the past pain is brought back to the daylight even the coldest of hearts finally break.
warning: pain and suffering first and foremost, tissues ain't included. Blood, wounds, shooting, killing, multiple death, loosing your kids.
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Ellie had slipped out of the shower. She hated being separated from you and Joel. So the fact that you walked away from her, leaving her with Maria, didn't sit well with her whatsoever. You had hugged her tightly before leaving, promising to be back as soon as possible and that you three would eat dinner together as you always did.
She had gotten extremely close to you. Yet there was something in Joel's eyes when he watched you hug Ellie that told her that there was more than you two let her know. She was aware that you two had been together long before the outbreak; she assumed you were married from the bent ring that was on your finger. But besides that, she knew nothing. Well, that you could handle Joel's shit the best of anyone Ellie had met.
She had seen and heard Joel mumbling in his sleep. Watched you rub his back with a sad expression on your face. And the same went for you, just when your nightmare hit - they hit you hard. Ellie had been woken up by your screams in the middle of the night. Joel's calm voice tries to make you calm down. She had only once turned to look at all of this unfolding; most of the time she just pretended that she was fast asleep. "Don't let them, Joel", you cried, "Don't", "I'm so sorry", Joel would sway you from side to side. His own eyes glossed over with tears. "Should have let me die instead. I should have died," you choked out, clenching the shirt Joel was wearing. His face looked stone cold as you clawed at him, sobbing.
Ellie never brought those nights up. If she teased Joel for speaking in his sleep, she had never said anything about your nightmares out loud. After nights like that, she would shimmy closer to you. Making sure she would be holding onto your hand more often or just hugging you every moment she could. Ellie couldn't help the feeling inside her that told her that you needed her.
Ellie hurried down the stairs, zipping the pink jacket she despised solely because of its outrageously girly color. Maria had left the note that she was just across the street, and as much as Ellie enjoyed being alone. She needed to kill time before you two came back. Plus, being away from you made her rather uneasy. She knocked on the door a couple of times. Yet no one answered. After more failed attempts, Ellie just let herself in. "Maria," she called out, stepping into the hallway. The house looked nice and was well lived in. Ellie had never seen anything like it. Even the smell seemed homely. She stepped into the living room, where the fire was crackling in the fireplace. Her eyes fell onto the three names written down with white chalk, surrounded by candles. Kevin, Sarah, and Malakai. Ellie couldn't help but frown.
"Ah, good, here you are. Try it on," Maria said, making Ellie jump as she turned away from the bored and took the coat from her hands. "Well, it's super fucking purple," "Eggplant, fits well?", Maria questioned, and Ellie nodded her head. "Who's been cutting your hair?", Ellie gave the woman a crooked look. "Am… world-class salons," she sassed back, making Maria let out somewhat of a chuckle. "I'll go get my sizers," Ellie argued immediately, but Maria stood firm, "Just the ends I promised."
The sound itself made Ellie cringe as she held onto the side of the chair for dear life. She hated this. Hated getting her hair cut. "I saw you looking at the memorial Tommy made", Ellie swallowed hard once Maria spoke up once again. She hoped this wouldn't be brought up, but then again, she was snooping. "I'm sorry about your kids," Ellie choked out, thankful that she didn't have to look her in the eye. Maria's movements stopped. "It's okay and kid. Just Kevin. Sarah and Malakai were Joel's and Y/N's kids", and a cold shiver ran down Ellie's back. Kids. You two had kids and lost both of them. "I'm sorry, shouldn't have said anything", "It's okay, it… It explains Joel's behavior and why Y/N…", but her voice died down. Maria didn't need to know about your nightmares.
"Look, I won't ask you what you are doing with them, especially Joel…" "Good," Ellie bit back. "You need to understand my concerns", Maria walked right in front of her, but Ellie only glared her way, "Be concerned about your husband, who did the same shit, if not worse". Maria let out a surprised sigh, "You have one hell of a mouth," and Ellie quickly stood up, shrugging off the towel that was over her shoulders, "And you are one hell of a sister-in-law if all you can do is throw shit at Joel." The adrenaline rushed through Ellie the moment the words slipped past her lips. She didn't regret them, but at the same time, she knew she shouldn't have. It was, however, too late. So she quickly stormed out of the house.
Her breathing picked up as she ran. Quickly slamming the doors behind herself. "Ellie?", your voice rang through the place, and she almost sank to the floor with relief. Like a lost animal, she darted towards the kitchen, meeting you midway as you stepped out into the hallway. Throwing her arms around your torso as she pressed herself closer to you. You couldn't help but frown as your hands ran through her hair. Confused as to what had happened, "Love, you are worrying me. What's going on?" You tried to loosen Ellie's grip on you, but she just clenched your shirt tighter.
Ellie almost felt like she suddenly couldn't face you. She shouldn't have found out like that. So she quickly stepped back and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. The worry inside you grew even more as you watched her. "Sweet girl, should I go get Joel?", you asked, but Ellie quickly shook her head, only now realizing that this involved him as much as it involved you. "Okay, well, you know you can tell me anything. I can't help if I don't know what happened," you said, softly reaching for Ellie's hand. Just this didn't feel like anything. This felt like the biggest thing ever.
"I'm sorry," Ellie rasped out, "I wasn't… I didn't want to… but they had a memorial," Ellie cried out, and suddenly it all started to make sense. You moved to wrap her up in your arms once again, "No one is blaming you; you were bound to find out eventually." You ran your hands through Ellie's hair once again. With a sigh, you clenched the necklace that hung over your chest. "You want to know the story of me and Joel?", you asked, making Ellie look up at you with mixed emotions. You nodded your head, "Well, let's make tea and sit down somewhere more comfortable." You knew that this was going to be one painful set of memories to unlock. But she deserved it. She was part of the family now.
And what a journey it had been. You met Joel in a supermarket. Where he was frantically looking for baby formula. The baby he was supporting with one hand screamed bloody murder. "Hello," you said cautiously, not wanting to startle him any further. His helpless, tired eyes snapped your way. You could tell that he most definitely hadn't slept in more than a couple of days. If not his eyes telling you that, then his overgrown and unkempt beard did. This male was a mess. "Do you mind if I", you pointed to the bundled-up baby, "You're in distress, and they feel it. Babies are sensitive to emotions", Joel's shoulders sagged; it looked like your words had finally defeated him.
"Just stand here. If you even think about doing something to hurt her…," you looked at him with a knowing smile. Trusting your blood and soul with a stranger was no joke. Especially being a newly baked parent. Plus, fathers were already way more protective. Especially of their girls. You pressed your hand to the heart, "I'll stand right here, just want to help". Joel nodded his head. Dropping down the box of formula he was holding as he moved towards you, lowering the bundle into your hands.
Even with her face all red and screaming her little lungs out, she was so pretty. You gently rocked her in your arms, "It's okay, gorgeous girl. Why are you crying, love bug?", you cooed at her. Fingers carefully ran down her cheek as you wiped away her big tears. "Shhh, sweet girl, you've got your daddy all worried. We don't want that, do we?" The cries slowly died down, and her big, still-damp eyes stared right at you.
Joel felt like someone had sent this as a cruel joke. His wife, the mother of his child, should be doing this, not some stranger in the middle of the supermarket. "Grab the mixture on the second shelf, more to your right", your voice made Joel snap his head in your direction once again. "I assumed you were looking for a formula. So that one should do her good. Won't upset her stomach if she's also breastfed", Joel clenched his jaw at your words. No, Sarah was not. Her mother had vanished. She didn't even know what a mother was or what it would feel like to have one.
You sensed the tension. Slowly stepping closer to the male, one hand resting on his shoulder. "Don't take this as an insult because I'm sure you are an amazing father. But do you want me to pop by and help out while you rest a little?" You had an odd feeling that the mother wasn't in the picture. That he was all alone. And the baby wasn't older than a month or a bit more. If this man was juggling that alone. Well, that must have been hard.
You hummed to yourself as you fixed up a light dinner from whatever you managed to find in Joel's fridge. Considering the empty cardboard boxes all over the place, it's been a hot minute since he had a proper meal himself. Once he drove you back to his, you quickly ushered him upstairs. Telling him to take a bath and catch some sleep. You knew that he would have fought you on it. If only he wasn't running on the last bits of energy. And you weren't snooping, but while you were cleaning up the kitchen, you found an open letter. A letter you assumed was from Joel's wife. She had left them two without anything, not even a proper explanation. You knew it wasn't your place to judge; motherhood was tough. Not all women were built to be mothers. You had written down instructions for Joel. How do fix a bottle. What different formulas do get, and how to switch them up if Sarah got an upset stomach per se. You wanted him to know that he wasn't alone. Even if you two had known each other for less than a day.
Joel stepped down the stairs hours later. Beard trimmed, eyes less puffy. He found you on the sofa reading a book to Sarah. One of her tiny fists was wrapped around your finger as your soft voice filled the room, "Why are you smiling? Am I that funny?", you cooed at her, making Sarah let out a happy grumble, "Ah, we even lost the pacifier with all the smiling, huh," you pinched her cheek carefully.
Joel was lost for words, to say the least. This was how he saw his family. This was what he hoped he would come down to with his wife. A sob that had held up for weeks, now finally escaped his lips, making you turn his way in an instant. You carefully set Sarah down before approaching him. Opening up your arms in case he needed a hug but keeping a distance in case this was overstepping his boundaries. Yet Joel did fall into your arms. He mumbled out all of his worries and questions that had been bothering him. He had no clue what he was doing. How nothing made sense to him now.
That night, and the many that followed, completely transformed you two. You had practically moved into the Millers' house. You lived not that far away, but the apartment was small, and since the job, you had only managed to cover the rent costs; you were barely getting by as it was. Joel needed someone to look after Sarah while he worked, so having you in the house solved that issue for him. But with each passing week and more, you three fell into somewhat of a routine, and you couldn't help but notice how right this all felt. You always wanted to be a young mom anyway. Sure, the baby wasn't yours, but that meant nothing to you. You cherished Sarah as if she was your blood and flesh. Joel loved that Sarah would grow up having you in her life. A true mother figure and did not doubt that as soon as his daughter learned how to talk, she would without a doubt refer to you as a mother.
Now, almost 12 years later, you still found yourself smiling every time you thought back at the time you and Joel came together, clawing through the struggles as one. "Morning", Sarah ran down the stairs, quickly coming to kiss your cheek as she moved to grab plates for everyone. "Morning, darling, is your father awake?", "Banged on the door loudly, but he's getting old wouldn't be surprised if he didn't hear", you let out a chuckle at her words. She often teased Joel about getting old. Especially now that his first gray hair had sprouted.
"Is Momo up?", Sarah asked, missing the sight of her brother in the kitchen. You turned to the living room, "Tommy is watching cartoons with him." Malakai was a surprise baby, to say the least. You and Joel weren't trying to get pregnant, but at the same time, you weren't always all that safe when it came to sex. When you feel pregnant, you generally couldn't help but have the fear of Joel walking out on you. Yes, you two had gotten engaged not that long ago, but the conversation of having kids together was never a thing.
Yet Joel didn't do anything but cry once you told him. He wrapped you up in his arms as you two swayed in the kitchen at two in the morning, where you had waited for him to return from his shift. "Tell me again; I still can't believe it," he muttered into your ear for what felt like a thousand times, "I am pregnant with your baby." Joel shook his head still, "Baby Miller..", he let out a breathy laugh. Hands coming to hold his head. With you? A baby with you? The most amazing woman on this earth. He surely didn't deserve it, but he was more than grateful for it.
"I know we might get tight on money. I do want to work till I get too big..", you blurred out, letting your biggest worries out. Joel quickly cupped your face, "Don't you worry your cute head about that. I will take more shifts, and we will be fine", yet you still frowned at him. You didn't want him to work any more than he already did. It felt wrong to let him carry the income burden on his own. "I can still work", "I will only agree to that if you are feeling one thousand percent sure that you can do that. I would much more prefer you stayed at home." You did figure it all out, as you always did. Sarah was over the moon to get a sibling, and now more than ever, this felt like a family.
Joel hurried down the stairs just as Sarah came back with Malakai in her arms. Your husband quickly leaned in to kiss you as he grabbed a cup of coffee. "Birth-a", Malakai clapped. Sarah leaned in to whisper something into his ear once again. "Daddy Old," he said happily, making you let out a laugh, especially when that proud smirk painted Sarah's face. Joel shook his head, "I'll send Cooky Monster after you two. Come here and hug me, you crazy bunch." Watching your kids wrapped up in Joel's strong arms always made you feel some type of way. He was the best father a child could ask for.
"No pancakes?", Sarah grumbled as she looked at the scrambled eggs in front of her, "Frown at your father, he forgot to buy it". It was a tradition to have pancakes on birthday mornings. One that all four of you took very seriously. But with the job load only getting bigger, you couldn't blame Joel for forgetting to get it. "Will we at least get the cake?", "I'll buy one on my way home, I promise," Joel said, scuffing down the egg. Sleeping in meant more rushing, especially when he still needed to drop Sarah off at school.
"Good cause it would be a shit birthday if we didn't at least get that", she said in frustration, "Language young lady", you nudged her shoulder. "Your shirt is insane out, handsome", you pointed your fork Joel's way as he dropped the empty plate in the sink. "No, it is not," he argued, looking down, "Dad, you are seriously getting old," Joel grumbled while taking off his shirt. You moved to feed Malikai, trying to hide your smile.
"You and I, tonight after the kids are asleep. I have special plans with you", Joel cupped your face, leaning in to kiss you a couple of times. "Gross!", Sarah shouted from the hallway, making you two laugh. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Miller", you packed his lips one more time. God, was letting go of this man hard. "I know what I am still capable of," Joel teased back, making you raise your eyebrows, " I'll be the judge of that tonight, sir."
You three had already eaten dinner. Malakai had been sleeping on your chest for quite some time. Sarah dozed off slightly as you waited for Joel to come home. He was late. That, of course, upset Sarah. You wished it was different. That she would see more of him. You hoped that now that you had landed a pretty good job deal, you could balance it out. That Joel could be home more often, and the kids wouldn't have to miss him that much.
The sound of the keys jingling made you stir as you noticed Joel walking into the living room. He was tired, as always. Sarah stirred from beside you. "You're so late," she mumbled, leaning more into you as you ran a hand through her hair. "I know, baby girl; I'm so sorry." Joel kneeled in front of her, carefully tickling her side in hopes to make the grumpy go away. "Did you at least get the cake?", Joel cursed under his breath. All the way home, he knew he had forgotten something, but it only hit him now. "Are you for real, dad?", "I promise I'll get the biggest cake I can get for you all tomorrow."
Sarah looked up at him, letting out a sigh as she reached to wrap her hands around her father's neck. Joel pressed her close to his chest, holding her just a tad harder than most evenings. "I got you something but it's upstairs", she said rubbing her sleepy eyes. Once she had disappeared from the room, you turned to Joel. "I'm so sorry for messing it up," he muttered, sitting down next to you. "Jokes on you, you messed your birthday up." You leaned closer to him. Malakai grumbled in his sleep, his eyes opening for a moment. The sight of his father finally being home made him reach for Joel. He instantly scooped the boy up, pressing a loving kiss to the top of his curly hair as he rocked him a couple of times. Malakai eased into sleep immediately. And you weren't too surprised about it—the warmth Joel carried was enough to make anyone fall asleep within seconds.
"Open up," Sarah said as she handed Joel a box. He shook it a couple of times, trying to inspect it without seeing it. "I know it was laying in your drawer for some time now", "Where did you get the money for it?", Joel looked at the old watch that he had to give up on years ago. "Drugs," Sarah said casually, making you let out a laugh that Joel joined soon after. "I think you got mugged, though it's not ticking." Joel pushed the watch to his ear, and Sarah's face paled as she moved to grab it out of her father's hands. The sound of ticking filled her ears, making her roll her eyes and say, "Not funny, dad."
You moved to wrap your arms around her, dragging her onto the bed with you. She would be sandwiched between you and Joel. "How about a movie, and then I'll tuck my two gremlins into bed", Sarah playfully hit Joel's chest, "Mom, will fall asleep within minutes", she turned to watch you already almost dozing off. "I won't say I won't, but I'm giving you ten minutes, and you will be out as well", you hugged her closer, eyes falling onto Joel who looked down on you two fondly.
"If I knew what was going to happen that night… I would", your voice died down, "I don't even know what I would have changed, but I wish I could go back, you know? To try to do something differently", Ellie looked at you. If you had let yourself smile a little at the thought of the happy memories she knew that now was the time when the real shit was going to go down. Ellie inched closer to you. Leaving her cup on the table as she took a hold of your hand once again.
"I have four civilians by the river," the male said sharply into the radio. "Joel," you whispered, pressing Momo closer to your chest as your breathing picked up. Joel wished he could reach for you and hold you close as well, but he knew that now that was impossible. "We'll be okay, love. All of us will be okay," Joel whispered, his eyes not leaving the soldier in front of him. "Uncle Tommy," Sarah whispered, looking between you and Joel. "We'll get you two and mommy somewhere safe, and I'll go back to look for him," Joel said as calmly as he could, pressing Sarah even closer to him.
The soldier lifted the gun, making you shake your head. "We're not sick", Joel managed to say before the shots rang out. Everything that happened after that was a blur and a slow-motion movie at the same time. The fall off the curb. The cries from Malakai rang out even louder than the bullets. You fell right beside Joel, your hands clinging to the boy and pressing him closer to you. The light from the gun made you close your eyes once again. "I'm sorry", you heard the soldier rasp out, "No, please", Joel exhaled, moving as quickly as he could to shield your body with his own as yet another shot fired. Joel's hand pressed down onto you tightly, not even letting go when the sound around him died down.
"Oh god", Tommy's voice made Joel lift his head, turning his attention to where his younger brother was looking. And there was Sarah. Her breaths were shallow as she pressed down on her side, which was bleeding heavily. Joel felt as if his world stopped for a moment as he crowed towards her. "No… no," Joel breathed out, "You're okay, baby girl, you're okay." His eyes fell on the wound that was pouring out bright red blood. "Sarah", you called out, inching towards her, gasp leaving your mouth as you saw just how bad it was. Joel tried to move her up, but Sarah only screamed out in pain, "I know, baby, I know. I need to help you up."
Joel's eyes were on you as you sobbed by Sarah's side. Hands were now just as soaked as his with sticky blood. Joel looked at Tommy, who was holding Malakai, then back to Sarah, who was gulping down air. He couldn't let his baby die. Not here. Not now. Not his little girl. Not his butterfly. Joel pressed his palms to the shot wound harder, making Sarah roar in agony, "I know it hurts, but you will be okay". You brushed your hand over the side of her face, not trusting your words anymore.
"Tommy, help me!", Joel shouted, but once he turned his attention back to his brother, his breathing stopped. Your eyes followed Joel's gaze. Eyes grew wide at the sight of Tommy standing there with a gun pointed at his head. Malakai being dragged away by another soldier. You quickly rose to your feet. "Give me my boy!", you shouted. No longer sounding like yourself. More like a wild animal out for blood.
"That's a child. Are you going to kill a child?", you stepped closer, but only got met with the back of the gun hitting your back, making you fall back to the ground. "Please, please, I'll do anything," you croaked out, pulling yourself up as you watched the soldier stop in its tracks. The boy in his arms reached out to you as he cried. The soldier let go of Malakai, and for a split second, a rush of hope flowed through you. He was going to come back to you. Your baby boy was going to be okay.
You reached your hands towards him as he took wobbly steps towards you. "Come here, baby, come here, Momo," you called out, barely being able to see through the tears streaming down your cheeks. "Mama," he cried out, making you nod your head. And then the shot rang out. The sound that you knew was going to hunt you for the rest of your life. You saw the bullet pierce Malakai's head as his body sagged to the floor.
The scream that fell from you was far from human. The pain that pierced you was as outrageous. You quickly moved forward, ready to kill the man who had just killed both of your kids cold-heartedly. You didn't make it far as two hands quickly pulled you over to the side. Turning you away from the lifeless body of the toddler.
Joel knew he had to get to you before you joined the kids on the ground. He held onto you for dear life as you trashed in his hands, "I will fucking kill you, do you hear me? I will rip you to pieces, you fuck," you screamed, trying to get loose and out of Joel's embrace. "Let go of me, let me kill him," you spat, nails digging into Joel's arms as you tried to push them away. "I've got you; you need to breathe." His words made you stop. You looked him in the eyes for the first time that night. Another sob escaped your lips as you sank to the floor, hands ripping at the skin of your chest, "Kill me, let me die, I don't want to live", your words were broken in between harsh intakes of breath. Joel shook his head once again, wrapping his arms around you, "I need you, please, I need you".
The sound of the door closing made you jump. You had no clue when you finished telling the story. You don't remember zoning out. Ellie was still holding your hands, her own eyes puffy from crying. Joel stopped in his tracks. The sight of him was not something he imagined coming home to. Your face was pale. Streaks of tears are still visible on your cheeks. Ellie didn't look any better. "What happened?", Joel quickly closed the distance between you. "Did someone hurt you? Are you hurt?", he took a hold of your trembling hand before turning to Ellie. "I…", she started, but the world failed her. The panic inside Joel only grew.
"Ellie found out about Sarah and Momo," you whispered, closing your eyes in hopes to stop the tears from falling once again. To the sound of the names, Joel's jaw clenched as he sat down on the table that was behind him. "I'm so sorry. I just saw the memorial." Joel only shook his head. "I swear I didn't", "Ellie," Joel said firmly, making her stop.
He knew this day would come. He might be half deaf, but he wasn't blind. Joel knew that Ellie was up most nights when you would scream. And was quite surprised that she hadn't yet brought this up in any way. But then again, she wasn't a stupid girl; she knew her boundaries. You rose to your feet, and Joel was quick to steady you, yet you brushed his touch away. "I need some fresh air", "I'll come with you", Joel insisted, but you shook your head, "I want to be alone for a moment". He was going to fight that choice, but by now he had grown to understand that in moments like this, letting yourself feel it out alone, at least at the beginning, was the best option.
Ellie couldn't bring herself to look at Joel as she fidgeted with her fingers, "I didn't mean to…", "I thought I was going to lose her after it all", Joel's words took Ellie by surprise. She quickly turned her gaze toward him. Joel was staring blankly at the wall in front of him. "She did everything she could to die. I didn't sleep; I couldn't. Was too afraid that I would miss something, won't be able to stop her", he exhaled sharply, hands coming over his face for a second.
"You had the biggest impact on Y/N. I saw her smiling for the first time in twenty years when you came by", Joel shook his head. Ellie couldn't utter a single word as he continued to stare at him. "I never meant to hurt you," "You never did. I feel the safest with you. I love you both as my parents. You have been the closest thing to a family that I've ever had," Ellie blurted out quickly. Joel turned to her, his eyes glistening with tears. "I won't let anyone hurt you," Joel whispered, clenching his jaw. Ellie fell into his arms, wrapping herself around his torso. "I know because you've never let anyone down, and you're not about to start doing that now."
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fatecantstopme · 1 year
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Never Do That Again
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Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x reader
Summary: The team is in a tiny town, a town so small that there is only one tiny hotel. What happens when you end up having to share a small room with your boss for a week straight?
Warnings: Angst. Some fluffy fluff. Mentions of death. Suicide. SMUT, oral (F receiving), unprotected sex (P in V). Use of pet names. Swearing.
"Dear God, I'm exhausted," you mumbled as you walked into the little hotel.
"I'm just looking forward to a hot shower," Morgan said from behind you.
"So are we. You smell terrible," Emily teased.
"Shut up."
You all chuckled as you reached the front desk.
"Good evening," the woman at the desk said. "How can I help you?"
"Hi there," you said with a smile as you were the first person to reach the desk. "We're in need of a few rooms."
"Okay, dear. We have one single and three doubles available."
Before anyone else could say anything, Rossi stepped forward and said, "I'll take the single."
The lady handed him the key and he waved to you all as he headed towards the elevator.
"Are you kidding me?" you grumbled.
"Reid and I will bunk together," Morgan said, taking another key from the desk.
You were about to ask JJ to room with you, but she snatched up a key and said, "Emily and I will take a room."
You gave her a look that she pretended not to see.
Hotch sighed heavily and reached for the last key. "I guess that means it's you and me, (Y/L/N)."
You deepened the glare on your face as you looked at JJ. She smiled at you knowingly and you felt the strong urge to smack her. Instead, you simply said, "Guess so, boss."
Everyone moved towards the elevators as a group, but you grabbed JJ's arm and pulled her back to you. "You did that on purpose," you hissed.
"Of course I did."
"J--what the hell am I supposed to do?"
"Now's your chance, (Y/N/N). Time to find out if he wants you as badly as I think he does."
"Or I'm just horny and sleep-deprived for however long we're stuck here," you grumbled.
"I doubt it."
She practically dragged you into the elevator with her and you both fell silent. JJ was the only person you'd ever admitted your feelings to about your boss. She was your best friend and you trusted her implicitly.
When you first told her you liked Hotch, she started paying more attention to how he acted around you. By this point, she was convinced he was into you--like really into you. You weren't so sure. Hotch was always so professional...you couldn't imagine a situation where he would break the rules so blatantly.
The hotel was small, only 8 rooms in total, four on the second floor and four on the third. JJ and Emily's room was on the second, as was yours and Hotch's, meanwhile, Rossi's room and Reid and Morgan's was on the third floor.
Hotch unlocked the door and waited for you to enter before bidding goodnight to JJ and Emily and shutting the door. You managed one last glare in JJ's direction before the door shut, but she shot you a wink and ducked into her own room.
When you turned around and got a full view of the room, you realized just how tiny it was. The two beds were so close together they were almost touching and the only other pieces of furniture in the room were a single nightstand and a small loveseat.
"Well this is...quaint," you managed.
Hotch laughed lightly. "That's one word for it." He tossed his duffle onto the bed closest to the door. "I'll take this one if that's okay with you?"
You nodded and walked over to the other bed and sat down on the edge of it. "You wanna shower first? I'll take longer."
"Sure, thanks." He grabbed what he would need and went into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
You gave yourself a little slap on the face to try and snap yourself out it. Your brain was betraying you as it often did in situations like this. First, you imagined what he would look like without his clothes, then your mind wandered to taking a shower with him, then to being underneath him on the bed. "Shit, (Y/N)," you said to yourself. "Snap out of it."
You laid back on the bed and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for Hotch to come out of the bathroom. You tried to think about literally anything else, but your mind kept traveling back to your boss--as it often did these days.
You knew it was dangerous to let yourself think about him or imagine anything with him. He was beyond off-limits. You couldn't deny the sexual attraction you felt, nor the spark of real attraction, but you sure as hell couldn't act on it. It could destroy both of your lives.
"Uhh...(Y/N)?" Hotch said a little louder. The way he spoke told you it wasn't the first time he'd said your name.
"Sorry--I was lost in thought," you said as you sat up. You were completely unprepared for the sight of him post-shower, his hair was damp and tousled, and he wore nothing but a t-shirt and boxers.
You must have been staring a little too long because he cleared his throat. "Your turn."
"Oh, yeah--right." You stumbled to the bathroom, feeling like a complete idiot. You made fast work of your shower and nighttime routine.
You started digging through your bag trying to find your pjs as the panic started to rise in you. "Fuck," you muttered. "Fuck, shit, fuck!"
"Everything okay in there?" Hotch called.
"Yeah," you called back. "I just--shit--I forgot my pajamas."
"Oh...umm--do you need anything?"
You groaned as you realized all you had was a tank top. "Not to be awkward or anything, but do you maybe have pants?"
He chuckled lightly and you heard him rustle through his bag. "I have a pair of sweats. Will that work?"
Oh, thank god. "Yes! Thank you so much."
You opened the door just enough for him to slide the pants through the crack. You grabbed them gratefully and pulled them on quickly. As expected, they were massive on you. He was broader and taller than you, the sweats making you look like you were a child trying on your father's clothes.
You walked out of the bathroom, holding tightly to the waistband of the pants. "They're slightly big on me," you said lightly.
Hotch looked over at you and froze. His eyes trailed over your body slowly and you felt incredibly exposed under his gaze.
"The uh--the tank was all I had," you mumbled as you climbed into your bed.
Hotch seemed to realize he'd been staring awkwardly and his gaze quickly averted. "Don't worry about it. You can wear whatever you want to bed."
You chuckled. "Thank you?"
He groaned. "Sorry, that came out weird."
"It's okay." You laid down on your bed and sighed. "These beds are tiny."
He laughed. "You're telling me. I've never felt so large in my life."
You looked over at him and giggled. "You look like you're sleeping in a child's bed."
He groaned. "I feel like I'm sleeping in a child's bed. There is no way this is going to be comfortable."
"What size are these beds, anyway?"
"I don't think they even make beds like this. They're slightly larger than a twin, but smaller than a full."
You sighed. "They had them specially made for this tiny room."
He chuckled. "Probably."
You curled up under your covers and settled in for the night, exhaustion finally overwhelming your body. "Could you get the light?"
"Of course." He reached over and turned off the lamp. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."
"Goodnight, Hotch."
**********
"How'd you sleep?" you asked the next morning.
"Terribly," Hotch admitted.
"Me too, honestly."
"It's the tiny bed."
You sighed. "Hopefully we'll only be here a day or two."
The whole team worked hard all day, doing their best to catch the latest unsub. You finally decided to call it a night around 7.
"Let's get dinner and head back to the hotel," Hotch said.
Everyone agreed and you headed to the local diner, one of the only places to get food in this town.
You slid into the booth on the side facing the door, as you always did, and to your surprise, Hotch slid in next to you. JJ was sitting across from you and she smirked slightly when she saw Hotch sit down.
You gave her a 'shut it' look and she just chuckled.
Throughout dinner, Hotch's leg brushed against yours several times and his proximity had you distracted. You could smell his cologne and it made you lightheaded. It was almost embarrassing. When his leg would brush yours, your entire body froze and you found it difficult to breathe.
You were beyond grateful for dinner to be over and to head back to the hotel. But even there you couldn't escape him because you were sharing a damn room. FML.
When you walked back into the hotel room and stared at the tiny beds you groaned audibly.
Hotch followed your gaze and chuckled. "Yeah, not looking forward to that either."
Suddenly, an idea popped into your head and before you could think better of it, you spit said idea out. "Hey, what if we push the beds together to make one big bed?"
Hotch froze. "What?"
"I mean, at least then it'd be like a normal sized bed and maybe then we could get some sleep."
He just stared at you in silence and you quickly realized what you had just suggested.
"Or, not--just kidding. That was a terrible idea."
"No, no--actually, that's not a bad idea," he said.
"Wait, really?"
"Yeah! I mean, at least that way we both have a higher chance of actually getting some sleep."
"Okay, cool."
The two of you set to work on moving the nightstand out of the way and pushing the two beds together. It actually did seem to be make sense, at least visually. Hopefully it made sleeping a little more pleasant tonight as well.
"Much better," you said softly as you patted your side of the bed. "Just don't roll me off the bed in the middle of the night."
He laughed. "No promises."
Just like the night before, Hotch showered first, then it was your turn. When you came back out, he was already laying in the bed with his eyes closed.
You moved slowly and lightly, just in case he was asleep. When you crawled into the bed, you noticed the way he was breathing and you couldn't help but smile. He was fast asleep, all the worry lines that normally lived on his face were gone, and you couldn't help but think he looked incredibly peaceful.
You smiled again as you reached across him to turn off the lamp before getting comfortable on your side of the bed. "Goodnight, Hotch," you whispered.
**********
The next day was almost identical to the day before. Work all day, eat dinner, shower, go to sleep.
It was day number four when things finally started to pick up. It was an extremely long day, but the team had successfully identified the unsub. Now it was just a matter of finding him.
Day five was an absolute shitshow. One of the locals had messed up and spoiled the team's chance of catching the unsub. You'd been on a wild goose chase for most of the day and Hotch was in an absolutely foul mood by the time you made it back to the hotel.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" you asked quietly as the two of you sat upright in bed.
"No."
"Okay."
You both sat in silence for several minutes--the heaviest silence you'd ever felt.
"I don't like feeling powerless," Hotch said suddenly.
You turned to look at him in surprise. "No one does."
He shook his head. "It's worse for me. I'm in charge--I'm supposed to be the leader. If I have no control, then what are we supposed to do?"
"It might help to remember you're not alone."
He looked over at you. "I feel alone."
"You're not. You have us," you insisted.
"I shouldn't be burdening any of you with my troubles."
"It's not a burden. We're your family, Hotch. It's what we're there for."
He fell silent again, but it was much less tense than before. After a few minutes, he spoke again. "Can I tell you something?"
"Of course."
"And you won't judge me?"
"I would never judge you," you said honestly.
"Sometimes I lay in bed at night filled with nothing but fear and regret. It's so crippling I can barely move. This case is getting to me, and I--I feel that fear. Every worst case scenario runs through my mind and I feel like I'm drowning."
Instinct takes over and you reach to grab his hand. He tenses, but he doesn't pull away. "I'll be your life-raft," you murmured.
He looked up at you with emotion-filled eyes. You weren't used to seeing anything other than the most stoic expressions on his face and it shocked you beyond belief. But nothing could prepare you for the words about to come out of his mouth. "Can I hold you?" he whispered so softly you almost thought you were hearing things.
"I--uh--you--" you stammered.
"Never mind, forget I said anything."
"No, wait--I was just surprised," you said softly. "If it will help you, then yes, you can hold me."
Without waiting for him to respond, you laid down beside him. He shifted slightly, getting into a more comfortable position. You felt his arm snake around you as he whispered, "Thank you."
"You're welcome," you whispered back.
He tightened his grip around your waist and pulled you closer so your back was flush against his front. You couldn't remember a time when you didn't want this, but you didn't imagine it happening quite like this.
It was either exhaustion from the day or the comfort of his arms, but you fell asleep within moments, Hotch not far behind you. Neither of you would admit it, but it was the best sleep you'd gotten in ages.
**********
The next day was different in so many ways. Hotch was different. Opening up to you had changed something in him, something you didn't understand. He was never more than a few feet from you at any point in time, he would brush up against you often, and he would glance at you for much longer than he should have. You weren't sure what to think, and you didn't want to read too much into it.
It was mid-afternoon when you received a phone call that led you to the location of the unsub. The seven of you pulled up to an abandoned house where he was supposedly staying. You entered, guns drawn, and began to clear the house.
You reached one of the back bedrooms and a shot rang out. You ducked back out of the doorway just as another bullet struck the doorframe where you had been standing a second before.
"FBI! Put the weapon down!" you yelled.
"You first," a voice replied.
"Come on, Matthew, it's over. Just put the gun down and come out."
You felt Hotch come up beside you. "She's right, Matthew. We have you surrounded."
You could practically hear the wheels in Matthew's head turning. After several moments of silence, a final shot rang out, followed by a loud thud.
Hotch reached out to stop you, but you pulled away from him and entered the bedroom. Matthew, the unsub, was lying on the floor in the middle of the room. The gun was in his right hand, blood splattered all over the left side of the room.
"Guess we were right about him being suicidal," you said softly. When you turned to look back at Hotch, he was staring at you with a look you couldn't quite place--somewhere between terror and anger.
Before you could ask him what was wrong, the rest of the team started coming into the room. You made a mental note to ask him about it later.
Hotch was quiet during dinner and he was silent when you got back to your room. He didn't even say anything as he crawled into bed.
You'd asked him if he was okay and he'd brushed you off, but you were no fool. You could feel the tension rolling off his body in waves.
You laid there, staring up at the ceiling, wondering what had happened and why he wouldn't speak to you. It was killing you inside and there was nothing you could do about it.
"Never do that again," he said suddenly.
"Do what?" you asked in confusion.
"Put yourself in danger like that. You could have been killed."
"Hotch, I was doing my job."
"Your job is to come home at the end of the day--not get yourself shot by some deranged killer."
"What are you talking about?"
He turned the light on and sat up, anger radiating off him. "You didn't even think--you heard that last shot and you just went into that room. You didn't know what you'd find! You didn't know if he was still alive--if he was going to shoot you. You didn't think about what it would do to me if something happened to you!"
You'd been gearing up to yell back at him until you heard his last sentence. "What it would do to you?" you whispered.
He froze, seemingly realizing in that moment what he'd actually admitted out loud. "I--shit."
"Hotch?" you questioned softly.
He groaned and put his head in his hands. "Forget I said anything."
"Yeah, that's not gonna happen."
He sighed. "Look, (Y/N). I--I care about you, okay? I...I don't think I could take it if something happened to you."
"Nothing happened, Hotch. I'm perfectly fine."
He finally looked up at you. "This time. What about the next time? Or the one after that? I'm terrified every single time you step into a potentially dangerous situation."
"Terrified of what, exactly?"
"Losing you!" he yelled, exasperated. "Of watching something bad happen to you; of not telling you how I feel; of never getting the chance to touch you or hold you or kiss you--and I can't stand it, (Y/N)! I just can't."
You blinked several times as if that would magically make his words sink in. Of all the ways you'd imagined having this kind of conversation with him, this was most definitely not on the list.
"I'm sorry," you murmured. "I didn't know you worried so much."
His eyes were swimming with emotion and unshed tears. "Do you have any idea how much you mean to me?" he whispered.
You shook your head. "But I think I'm starting to see it."
"I know I'm not supposed to feel like this. I'm not supposed to like you this way or want you like this, but I can't keep suppressing my emotions and pretending everything is fine as it is. It's not fine, (Y/N)--I'm not fine. I can't keep living a lie...it's killing me."
Every word you'd ever learned magically left your brain in that moment. Your heart was hammering in your chest, the only indication you were still alive, the rest of you completely frozen in time.
Then, suddenly, your brain kicked back into gear and you launched yourself towards him, lips locking against his in a passionate kiss. Your words had failed you, but there was no mistaking the emotions in that kiss.
When you separated, you were breathing heavily, cheeks flushed with embarrassment as you realized what you'd done. Before you could apologize, Hotch grabbed you and pulled you back into him, kissing you with as much passion as you'd given him.
"(Y/N)," he breathed against your lips.
You sighed as he grabbed your hips and pulled you onto his lap, lips never leaving yours. His hands snaked up under your tank top, feeling your warm, soft skin with the tips of his fingers.
You let him pull your shirt off over your head and his gaze fell to your exposed breasts. He bit his lip and looked up at you hesitantly, as if asking for your permission.
You grabbed his left hand and placed it directly on your chest. He got the hint and immediately lowered his face to take your pert nipple into his mouth.
You let out a little sigh and ran your fingers through his dark hair. When he nipped at your breast, you gasped and tightened your hold on him.
"Aaron..." you whispered softly, losing yourself in the feeling of his hands and his lips on your body.
He groaned and lifted his head to look at you again. "I never thought my name on your lips would sound so sexy."
You grinned and murmured, "Aaron."
"Now you're just being a tease."
You bit your lip and winked at him.
He chuckled lightly before flipping you onto your back so you were under him on the bed. He reattached his lips to yours, kissing you like his life depended on it.
Your hands began to tug on his shirt and he pulled away from you just long enough for you to yank it over his head. He wasted no time getting back to kissing you, his lips trailing down your jaw and neck.
Your hands caressed every inch of his skin you could reach from your position, the softness of your touch eliciting sweet sounds from his lips.
He rutted his hips against yours and you gasped at the feeling of his very hard member pressing into you.
Your body suddenly went into overdrive--years of pent-up desire rising to the surface. "I need you," you begged.
He lifted his gaze to meet yours. "I'm right here, baby."
You shook your head. "Need more."
He smirked. "Who knew you'd be such a needy girl?"
"Aaron," you whined.
He chuckled. "Alright, alright. Patience, sweetheart." He hooked his fingers under the waistband of your sweatpants and gave them a firm tug. He pulled them down your legs and tossed them off to the side.
You spread your legs for him, revealing your soaking wet core. He moaned at the sight before slipping a finger between your folds to collect the juices that lingered there. He brought his finger up to his mouth and licked it clean, another moan escaping his lips.
"You taste delicious," he murmured.
You could only stare at him, eyes pleading him to give you more.
Normally Hotch would have taken his time teasing you, but he could feel your need radiating off you in waves. Plus, if he was being honest, he needed you just as badly. Waiting just wasn't in the cards tonight.
He dropped to his stomach between your legs and before you could say a word, his mouth was on you, hot breath, wet tongue, and devilish lips dancing across your core, making you gasp with pleasure.
He ate you out like you were his very last meal--and he intended to savor every second of it. Despite having never been intimate with you before, he played your body like an expert musician, hitting every single one of your sweet spots, making you squirm beneath his touch.
"Aaron, please--I'm--" you gasped out.
He moaned, not wanting to stop his ministrations to respond to you. He knew you were close without you having to spell it out. He could feel the way your pussy clenched around his fingers and the way your thighs had begun to shake. He was desperate to feel you cum--to taste your delicious release--so he didn't stop.
Your fingers dug into his scalp and tugged at his hair as you squirmed, pleasure threatening to overwhelm you.
With one last flick of his tongue and motion of his fingers, you cried out his name as your orgasm crashed into you. He held you in place as he lapped up your release, lips not leaving your pussy until you practically dragged him up by his hair.
He smiled down at you and licked his lips, tasting the last of you on them. Your eyes were wide and your body shivered with aftershocks--a feeling you weren't exactly accustomed to.
"Can I return the favor?" you asked, slightly breathless.
"As much as I would love that, I wanna be inside of you too badly to wait--I'm gonna struggle to last as it is."
You smiled. "Then lose the boxers, handsome. Lemme see you."
He sat up and quickly shed his boxers, eyes focused on your face. He knew he was well endowed--and he knew how to use it--but nothing made his chest swell with pride as much as the way you were looking at him right now.
Your eyes were focused on his cock, surprise evident in your gaze as you took in his size. The surprise quickly melted into heady desire and your gaze flicked back up to his face.
"Like what you see?" he teased.
"You know I do," you whispered.
There was something about the way you said it that made him want you even more. As he lined himself up with your entrance, he took a deep breath to try and maintain his composure. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt you or lose control.
You wiggled your hips slightly, letting him know you were ready and willing.
He locked eyes with you as he began to slowly slide into your tight, wet heat. Your lips parted and a soft gasp left them as he pushed inside. "I've got you, baby," he murmured.
Your hands gripped his biceps as he kept pushing into you, the stretch threatening to break you right in half. By the time he finally bottomed out, your nails had dug crescent shaped indentations into his skin.
He wanted to wait for your body to adjust to him before he began to move, but you had other plans. "Fuck me, Aaron. Please."
The pleading tone in your voice was all he needed to hear. He began to move, hips setting a fast pace from the start.
The room filled with the sounds of your love-making--moans, whimpers, gasps of each other's names--mixed with the salacious sounds of your bodies coming together.
"You feel so good, baby," he whispered. "Even more incredible than I imagined."
Your mind was completely fuzzy, filled with nothing but the feeling of immense pleasure. As such, you couldn't formulate coherent sentences to respond to anything Hotch whispered to you.
"I could stay here forever--" he moaned as you clenched tightly around him. "Fuck--baby, I'm not gonna last."
You simply moaned in response as he sped up his movements.
"I need you to cum for me, (Y/N/N). Need to feel you--please."
You were clutching onto him, nails raking down his back as he fucked you deeply. "Close," was all you could manage to say to him.
"Can I fill you up, baby girl? Wanna make you mine."
Something about his words drove you wild. You screamed out "Yes!" followed by "Aaron!" as you came, body shaking beneath him.
The way your pussy clenched around his cock as you came sent him right over the edge and he filled you with his seed. His hips faltered on his last few strokes and he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you both came down from your highs.
He slowly pulled out of you and your body shivered slightly at the loss of contact. He quickly got up, stumbling slightly, as he made his way to the bathroom for a warm washcloth.
He came back and began to gently clean you up. When he was done, he tossed the washcloth onto the floor and crawled into the bed beside you.
"Come here, pretty girl," he mumbled.
You obliged, moving your body so you were up against his side. He pulled you closer and you rested your head on his chest.
"Infinitely better than I'd imagined," he whispered into your hair.
You chuckled lightly. "Agreed."
"Oh? So you imagined it too?"
You glanced up at him, a light blush covering your cheeks. "Of course I did."
He raised his eyebrows. "You're very good at hiding your attraction."
"Thank you. It's not exactly easy when you're surrounded by a bunch of profilers."
He nodded. "I know what you mean. I'm surprised you didn't know I liked you before this."
You bit your lip and looked away.
"What is it?"
"Well...JJ knew."
"Oh?"
"She insisted you liked me...and she also knows that I like you."
"Ahh, well...I suppose it was only a matter of time."
You looked up at him again. "You're taking this surprisingly well."
He shrugged. "It's not as if I was planning on keeping this a secret."
Surprise lit up your face. "You weren't?"
He returned your surprised expression. "Of course not. I finally have you, (Y/N), and I'm sure as hell not letting go."
"But what about the rules?"
"To hell with the rules. We deserve to be happy."
"Who are you and what have you done with Aaron Hotchner?" you teased softly.
He smiled. "Him? Well...he fell in love."
You inhaled sharply.
"You don't have to say it back, (Y/N). I have no expectations here...but I know how I feel and I needed to say it."
You lifted your head off his chest to look at him better. "I know I don't have to, but I want to. I love you too," you whispered.
A thousand emotions filled his eyes the moment those words left your lips. He leaned down to kiss you and you felt your body respond to him immediately.
Before you knew it, you were straddling him as you made out, desire pulsating between you. "Round two?" you asked with a grin.
"I thought you'd never ask."
**********
The next morning, you went down for breakfast a few minutes before Hotch. You'd woken up to his lips on the back of your neck and shoulders--kisses that quickly turned to more fiery passion.
You'd finally convinced him to come shower with you, which of course took longer because he insisted on giving you just one more orgasm.
When you walked into the little seating area on the first floor, you were greeted by the rest of your team. Every single one of them had shit-eating grins on their faces as they said good morning to you.
"How was your night, (Y/N)?" Emily asked lightly.
"Did you sleep well?" JJ teased.
"I didn't get much sleep," you said honestly--knowing they clearly were already aware of that.
"I imagine Hotch didn't either," Morgan said with a grin.
You shot him a look. "Alright, out with it."
"I'm just saying, (Y/N/N), the walls are really thin," he responded.
Your eyes widened and you looked at JJ for confirmation.
"We're just really grateful for those noise-canceling headphones you got us for Christmas last year," JJ answered.
"Oh. My. God," you groaned.
"Morning everyone," Hotch said as he walked into the room, completely oblivious to the current conversation.
"Morning, Aaron," Rossi said knowingly, a teasing lilt to his voice.
Hotch glanced at you, taking note of your very red cheeks. Comprehension dawned on his face and his eyes widened slightly.
"Thin walls," you whispered.
To your surprise, Hotch simply smiled. "Saves us the trouble of telling them we're dating."
Rossi was the first to laugh and the rest of the team quickly joined in. You were glad they knew--even if it was in the most awkward way possible. You knew they loved and supported both you and Hotch, and that wouldn't change with your new-found relationship.
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kentopedia · 8 months
Text
dating port mafia boss dazai
contents: f!reader, implied violence, mostly dazai spoiling you so much, dazai is very soft in this, one litte nsfw scene !!
note: this reeks of self indulgence :,) my current obsession is pmboss!dazai being so sweet & gentle to his s/o
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it goes without saying that if you're in the port mafia when you start dating dazai, he’ll probably want you to take less work in the field.
bc his main goal is keeping you safe, and he constantly worries about you when you're going on dangerous missions !!
though, sometimes you miss being in all the action. so, dazai will send you on missions with chuuya or akutagawa from time to time
he still worries, but he has no doubt they can keep you safe!!
he hates being nervous about whether or not you’ll come back to him, but he never wants you to feel like you're a prisoner in your own home.
if you want to go with him, anywhere or anytime, to any meeting, you just have to ask!
bc he trusts you completely <3 and he also knows you can take care of yourself.
if you want to work in other parts of the mafia, whether that be in training, intelligence, or behind the scenes work, dazai doesn’t care
he pretends to be uncompromising on some issues, but you can convince him of anything with a pretty smile.
but, if you're not in the port mafia, he (unfortunately) will make sure you have a bodyguard with you almost everywhere.
you insist its not necessary, but he knows he's made a lot of enemies that would love to use him against you. :(
though dazai has his moments of insanity (lol), he doesn't want to drive you away from him.
if you say its too much, he'll figure out something else. another way to keep you safe.
eventually, you come live with him, so that takes care of that.
dazai spoils you senseless !!
if he's ever late for a mission, he always comes back with something for you.
sometimes its flowers, sometimes its something even more elaborate
loves loves loves giving you jewelry
but everything he buys is very thoughtful!
he doesn't buy you expensive gifts just to flaunt money
its more that there isn't a price tag on things to him. if he sees something he thinks you'll like, it'll be yours, no matter the cost <3
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"i'm home!" you said cheerfully, dropping your bag off by the door as you shouted to dazai through the penthouse.
the sound echoed back, and dazai didn't respond.
with a yawn, you headed towards your bedroom, stretching your muscles as you walked. the weather had been miserable that week, and between the heat and the rain, you were feeling more tired than ever.
what you longed for was a nice hot shower and a night in dazai's arms.
"osamu?" you said again, but the apartment remained quiet. there was no one in your bedroom when you opened the door.
you sighed, disappointed that he wasn't home to lay with you as you took a nap. though, your attention was quickly diverted by the newest addition to your bed.
a soft brown teddy bear, the same color as dazai's eyes, held a card, and a dark velvet box, paired with a bouquet of fresh flowers on your nightstand.
the note was short, but it was enough, and you couldn't help but smile as you read it.
i have to go out of the city for tonight. i'll be back in the morning. sorry i can't be with you, my darling. here's a little apology gift. i love you. - osamu
as usual, the gift was anything but small.
you flipped open the delicate box to reveal a gold necklace, a deep ruby dangling from the chain in the shape of a heart.
for a moment, you did nothing more than stare at the glittering gem that was edged by smaller diamonds, and you swelled with more love than your chest could handle.
carefully, you set the box down, wondering what you ever did to deserve something so beautiful. as much as you wanted to wear it immediately, you'd wait until osamu was back so he could help you put it on.
instead, you placed the card and the necklace by the flowers, and climbed into bed with the stuffed animal. as you nestled deeper into the comforter, curling your arms around the bear, you realized dazai had sprayed it with his cologne before he left.
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dazai isn't the best about telling you how he feels. he is so much better at showing it.
if it isn't obvious, he loves buying you gifts! he has so much money as the port mafia boss, and he has no idea what to do with it. why not spend it on you!!
if you see an outfit in the store window that you like, dazai will have it tailored to your precise measurements. (which he has memorized, of course).
he loves shopping for you.
when he buys you pretty dresses, lingerie, and so on, all the other women in the store are swooning over him.
he knows exactly what you like and don't.
even if he thinks you'd look so beautiful in something, he knows your sense of style.
dazai doesn't want you to ever feel obligated to wear something just bc he picked it out for you.
of course, dazai always gives you his card to go shopping
and to get your nails done! he's obsessed with how pretty your hands look after getting a fresh set <3
he's loves them whatever color/design you think looks best. but i'd be lying if i said he wasn't obsessed with red nails.
dazai really loves the way they looked wrapped around his-
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you rested your head on dazai's shoulder, letting your hands gently splay across his knee, your fingertips moving in a listless, delicate pattern.
though a film played before you, it was forgotten quickly, dazai's breath catching as he exhaled a laugh. "what are you doing?" he asked, and you smiled innocently, drifting your hand further up his thigh.
"nothing."
he blinked at you with wide brown eyes and swallowed, his throat bobbing as you reached his hip. you wrapped a delicate finger around his zipper, pulling it down slowly.
"nothing, hm?" he countered.
you turned to face him, sweeter now, as you tugged at his waistband. though dazai feigned disinterest for a moment, you felt him twitch beneath the thin layer of clothing.
his focus drifted down to your much softer hand, perfectly manicured and smaller than his own. he seemed fascinated, for a moment, by the way your fingers were moving. "your nails look pretty, love."
"i know.” you grinned. dazai's hips shifted, and you lowered his waistband, pressing a line of kisses up his neck slowly, teasing him.
you freed his cock, aching and hard, from his pants, and wrapped your hand around him. dazai let out a small gasp, though he watched as you lazily stroked him, the action perfected from experience.
"you're so pretty, 'samu." you watched his face turn red as he tried hard not to fall apart under your touch.
it was reassuring, really, to know that the most powerful man in the city was wrapped around your finger.
"not as pretty as you, baby," he said, but the word came out strained, raspy as you tightened your fist, running your teeth across the taut vein in his neck.
you laughed and moved onto his lap, kicking the remote off the couch before straddling him. his eyes melted into hearts as he stared up at you, begging for a kiss.
"you’ve been so busy this week,” you frowned. “i wanna make you feel good."
dazai jerked into you, breathing stifled as you brush your thumb over the tip. "you always do." his smile was affectionate, but his touch was desperate, digging into your sides. he was already searching for some sort of release.
"so impatient," you said, but you indulged him with a kiss anyway, his hands fisting in your hair as your tongue met his.
he breathed into you mouth, hot and heavy. "fuck," dazai hissed, lifting your hips to slip off your pajama shorts. "it's hard not to be when you're so fucking perfect, sweetheart. i need to be inside you."
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dazai loves loves loves taking you out to expensive restaurants <3
he's not a big fan of crowds, though, so he'll rent out the entire place instead, just to get a private room for the two of you.
and if you don't feel like going out, but you want a nice meal, he'll hire a chef for the evening. one that specializes in whatever type of food you want
dazai's not the best cook, but he’ll do often, just because it makes you happy
he gets so much better over time, though.
whatever you want, he'll make it for you! and if he can't, he'll definitely find someone who can.
but! back to dazai letting you use his account to buy anything.
when you go to any shop associated with the mafia, everything is on the house
bc if the boss is going to funnel money into their pockets, the least they could do is give his girl some gifts !!
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"is this... going to be all for you today, miss?" the cashier said, looking at the stack of clothing skeptically. he rang up price tag after price tag, watching as the numbers grew exponentially on the screen.
you nodded, smiling politely as he read off the total, a number that no average person would be able to spend reasonably in one go.
but dazai said you could get whatever you wanted for your birthday, and you hadn't let yourself indulge in a shopping spree for a while. so you'd picked up anything that suited you nicely and decided not to worry.
"how will you be paying today?"
you handed over the card, and the cashier read the name, glancing up at you with skeptical eyes.
"dazai osamu?"
you smiled sweetly. "it's my boyfriend's card."
though, the name had caught the attention of an older salesman across the room, and he was to the cashier in two swift steps, knocking him on the back of the head.
"dumbass," the older man swiped the card from the cashier before he could swipe the payment. "don't you know who she is?"
it took the man three more times of reading dazai's name across the plastic for it to click.
"i'm so sorry," he said, wide eyes suddenly anxious. "i had no idea you were—"
"it's okay. don't worry." you smiled, shrugging. "i won't tell him."
you meant it as a joke, but that only seemed to make the younger cashier more nervous.
"we'll take care of everything for you." the elderly salesman said, holding out the card to return it. "it's on us."
"really?" you pinched your eyebrows together, concerned. the bill was steep. it seemed unfair to let them take such a hit to profits. "at least let me pay for some of it.”
"no, don't worry about it. the boss said it was your birthday, so whatever you want, its yours."
for a moment, you weren't sure what to say. though, realizing that this store was just one of the many in yokohama that partnerned with dazai, you finally succumbed to a smile, and accepted their kindness.
you took dazai's card back and slipped it into your purse. "thank you so much.” you said sincerely, turning to leave with a small wave as you gathered up the bags and bags of clothes. "it was nice to meet you. i'll come back soon!"
though they said nothing, they both stared back at you with wide eyes, as most people did when they found out you were the one that had captured dazai's heart.
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when dazai finds out how much you love to read, he clears out an entire floor of the port mafia headquarters to make you a library
its done far too elaborately, with classical decorations, a very intricate chandelier, and a view that looks over the entire city
there are special editions, original copies of your favorite books, books in languages you can't even read and so on
he went a little overboard, but he was just so excited to show you :(
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"osamu." you stare, blinking at the vast room, not really sure what to say other than his name.
"what?" he's pouting instantly, wondering if he made a mistake, and you didn't like to read as much as he thought. "do you not like it?"
you don't think your heart has ever felt so full before, and you manage a shaky smile, wondering how it didn't split your face in two. "this is too much. you did all this for me?"
and he seems surprised you would even ask such a silly question, because why wouldn't he give you something you've always wanted? "if it makes you feel better, i'll tell you i did it for myself."
you laugh, and then you're launching yourself at him, throwing your arms around his neck in a warm embrace. you nearly cry, because even though he spoils you far too much, this is the most thoughtful gift you've ever received.
"thank you." you whisper, kissing him all over his face, and he smiles, his cheeks warm from your affection.
dazai leads you to a shelf after that, pointing out a few novels that have his name scribbled in the front cover, all with varying states of penmanship.
he's collected all his favorite books there for you, hopeful you'll read them first.
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dazai places you next to him in every mafia meeting
if you're going to be his partner, you're also going to be his equal <3
and he knows that you can keep everyone in the mafia in line. he trusts you to be in charge when he's not there
bc everyone in the mafia likes you more than dazai anyway! (except maybe akutagawa)
and yes, dazai is the sweetest to you <3 but certainly not to everyone else
he disposes of people that bother you... far too quickly
the man at the store made you uncomfortable? he doesn't live in the city anymore. someone was too handsy? they'll lose a few fingers.
but if someone in the mafia says even one unkind word to you, you'll never see them again.
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"sweetheart, what's wrong?"
you sniffed, wiping the tears from your eyes as his hands snuck around your waist. he pulled you closer towards him, sliding next to you on the bed.
"it's nothing." you swallowed, but your eyes were still glassy no matter how hard you tried to stop crying. "i shouldn't get so worked up about things people say."
"hey," he coaxed your hands away from your face, tilting your chin up. "if it's upsetting you, it's a big deal to me, my love."
you said nothing for a moment, but dazai remained patient, smiling softly at you as he stroked your cheek.
never able to resist the gentleness that he showered only you in, you sighed. "some people just said…” you trailed off, almost not wanting to tell him. it seemed embarrassing, in some way, to say something lewd about yourself, even if you were merely repeating the words.
“said what?”
you chewed the inside of your lip before sighing, knowing dazai wouldn’t let the issue rest until you told him.
“they just said that you only kept me around to fuck me.” you dropped your gaze to your hands for a moment, letting them rest limply in your lap. “that i was just some stupid bitch you’d leave behind soon.”
you watched the smile slowly fall from his lips, his eyes hardening with a fury that wasn't directed at you.
"you know that's not true." he held your hands tightly, forcing you to meet his intense gaze. "tell me that you know that."
you managed something of a smile. "i know. i really do know how much you love me. doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt my feelings.”
he nodded, somewhat satisfied as the cloudiness began to clear from your face. "who was it? if you don't know they're name, just describe them." his expression was icy, dangerous, even if his hands were soft.
"osamu, i told you it doesn't matter—" you frowned, looking away before he interrupted.
“it does fucking matter." his words came out sharp. "those men work for me, and i'm not going to let them treat you like that. they've got no business being here if they can't respect you."
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at the end of the day, dazai's reputation remains very much intact. he will always be feared in the city, despite exposing himself as a man who's so so in love
but everyone in the mafia is secretly pleased to see him a little happier, even if its just around you.
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convolutedblasphemy · 3 months
Text
Things I had to see since joining this fandom:
"Alastor is so hot, too bad he's ace. It kinda sucks tbh, I wish he wasn't asexual."
"Alastor is asexual but not aromantic, this has never been confirmed" ignores the mountain of evidence
"I know Alastor is aroace but he deserves a relationship and I really just want to see him happy with someone..."
"Maybe he has had bad experiences with relationships when he was alive"
"I'm gonna make him question his sexuality"
"If he's ace why does he do [xyz thing that has nothing to do with sexuality]?"
"Aces can still have sex! Aros can still date!" proceeds to never mention his identity again and portray him exactly like an allo person
"Sex-averse aces can still have sex regularly!" (be fucking fr)
"Vivziepop said in a stream that Alastor is sex-favorable and has a preference for women" (no she did not why u lyin'???)
"Rosie said the 'ace in the hole' thing because Alastor is an advantage for Charlie and the hotel, not because he's asexual"
"I know Alastor is canonically aroace but for the sake of this fic let's just pretend he isn't"
Things I have yet to see (do better):
Someone who isn't on the ace or aro spectrum actually portraying a sex-favorable or romance-favorable Alastor instead of an allo version of the character
Allos in the "aces can still have sex! aros can still date!" crowd giving literally any support to the aspec community aside from trying to scoot around Alastor's asexuality
Just one allosexual writer who's like "I know Alastor is aroace so I'm going to try to include that in my writing! Feel free to give me feedback if I get anything wrong!" (if you guys are out there, hit me up, I'll follow you if you're not on my DNI)
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luveline · 8 months
Note
Omg ok Jade my love can I request a princess soulmate au with Steve? Where reader is Prince Steve’s soulmate but maybe she’s not royal herself and is struggling a bit with being the future princess?
Almost like similar vibes to some of the loser gf with rockstar Sirius things you’ve done
thank you sm for your request! (sci-fi fairytale au) prince!steve
cw talk of losing weight to fit into a dress 
Prince Steven sits across from you with a bowl of grapes and a pair of embroidery scissors. He's going to stab me, you think morosely. I'm wretched and boring and he's going to stab me and then the stars will give him another soulmate and he'll forget this whole misfortune.
He seems lost for words as you are, or uninterested. You think he's going to talk and he eats another grape instead, hair fluttering in the breeze that filters in from the balcony, his eyes trained on the holoscreen. He's pretty —soft face, softer hair, almond shaped eyes that seem perpetually amused— but more alarmingly, he's fit. Physically fit from years of sports. Royals do all manner of olympiad competition, evident in his toned shoulders and his sun-kissed skin. 
"How's your embroidery?" he asks suddenly. 
You startle, pretending you'd been attending to that rather than staring at him uselessly. "It's going well, Prince Steven," you lie. You've never embroidered before —you have practical sewing skills for darning scuffed trousers and patching elbows, but embroidery is a labour of time. Time is a luxury you haven't had. 
"Steve," he corrects. 
"Do I… Is it really okay for me to call you that? Won't people think I'm presumptuous?" 
"Ten dollar word." He slides the bowl toward you, a beautifully glazed ceramic piece that likely cost more than your month's rent. "Well, they usually let me have whatever I want, and I want you to call me Steve. And to relax. And eat more." 
"I can't. They said I need to fit into my wedding dress." 
"The wedding dress needs to fit you," Steve says, the simple cut of his button down pulled snug to his chest as he leans back in his chair. "Not the other way around. Is that why you didn't eat much at breakfast? Or was it just gross?" 
"It wasn't gross," you say softly. 
"You don't have to do any of that stuff, either, if it's boring." 
You run your finger down the creamy linen stretched between your bamboo hoops. "I don't know if it's boring. I can barely do it." 
"You're too mean to yourself," he says. 
Steve stands and puts his arm behind his head, pushing his elbow until something clicks. Embarrassed by his dismissal, you stare at your hands and fume at yourself when they begin to tremble. 
It's too much. All of it. The cruel Palace attendants who know you're not good enough. Steve and his good nature. The wedding dress, the fine China, your wonky stitches. 
Steve steps to your side. He holds out his hand, and you pass him your embroidery without meeting his eyes. Your mood worsens at the sharp slink of snipping, sure that Steve will cut your pattern from the sketch and tell you to start again. 
"Sorry, your white knot at the back was bothering me. Pass me a slimmer needle? I'll tuck it behind your stitches." 
Astonished, you pass Steve a smaller needle from the pin cushion. His brows creases gently as he works, rewiring the white thread with patience and efficiency. 
"There. It looks really nice, honey. You're a fast learner." He passes you the hoop. You take it a beat too slow and he either doesn't notice or doesn't make a fuss, chucking you under the chin softly. "Don't worry so much. I'll talk to Cordelia about your wedding dress, the idea that you need to fit into it like it's one size fits all is dumb. It's made for you. Like, what are they expecting?" 
"They're probably hoping this is all a big mistake." 
"Did someone say that to you?" 
"Nobody had to say it to me, I can tell from the way they look at…" Steve takes your face into his hand, effectively killing anything you'd been trying to say.  
He seems royal, then. Used to getting his way, maybe, the disapproving lining of his otherwise sweet eyes. You get a flash of a memory, the morning you'd been presented, Steve in his finery with his platinum crown like a beacon in brown hair, you in your best dress, embarrassingly drab in comparison, your hand offered. He'd been meeting with eligible women all week. 
You were there as a formality. Never for a second did you think your soul mark would react to his, lines of light around your opposite wrists. 
To think you'd worried about touching him. You could never imagine how beautifully careful he is, how tender. You didn't know men were like this until Steve showed you, his niceness apparently bone deep and in everything he does. 
"If people are being jerks, you have to tell me." You never imagined how casual and vulgar he'd be either. "What's the point in being a princess if people don't respect you?" 
"I'm not a princess," you say. Your heart is a hummingbird as he turns his hand and strokes your cheeks with the backs of his fingers. 
"You will be. Nothing can change that. You're going to be a princess, and you can do as much or as little as you want, because those dorks left me in charge and I say so. I can decree it, if that makes you feel better," he says, dropping his hand, the phantom of it lingering like static shock. 
"What if I'm not meant for this?" you ask quietly, shy but terrified enough to ask. 
"I was meant for you," he says, tone matching yours in timidity. His sleeves rolled up as they are, you can see the soft light of his soul mark taking a pink hue. "Right?" 
Your soul mark glows a gentle pink to match his. Because you and Steve don't know one another well, not yet, but the feeling is there, thrumming under the skin like a pulse. Not love, not not love, a glowing desire. A want to know him.
There have been moments where you wished he wasn't a Prince, but then there's no guarantee you ever would have met. 
"Right," you mouth, offering him a small smile. 
"We were meant to be together…" Steve bends at the waist, meeting your eyes. He's yet to kiss you in the week since you met, but his touches come braver everyday, the unfamiliarity between you melding into butterflies. His smirk shakes them awake. "So let's be together the way we want to. Think of princess-ing as optional." 
"And you as mandatory?"
"I'm also optional," he says with a warm laugh. "But dinner is not. I need to know what you like, if we're going to get married."
You practically gulp. Right. You're going to be his soulmate, his princess, and his wife. 
"Don't be scared. I'm not cooking it, chef Joyce is." Steve brushes hair from his eyes like a model from the giant holo screens, unaware of his own attractiveness. "I'm a shitty cook. My talents lie in other things," he drawls grandly, "like lacrosse, and neck massages." 
He winks. You laugh genuinely for the first time since you met him, and his face splits with glee.  
if you want to request anything for this AU please do! steampunk princess soulmate and her smitten prince is my new fave thing
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theminecraftbee · 6 months
Text
Joe isn't looking at them, Cleo realizes. He's not looking at them, and not paying attention, which is concerning, since they're talking about Halloween decorations, and that's one of Joe's favorite things, and also about the bloody aftermath of the social game they'd just played, and that's another one of Joe's favorite things. But no--he's standing just outside of the Clocktower Village, and he's nodding along in the right places, but he's not looking at them.
They frown and tries to figure out where he's looking. His hands, mostly.
They stop talking. They take a breath. "Joe?"
"Yes, Cleo?" Joe says.
"You aren't paying attention," they say.
"I would never not pay attention to your wonderful words," Joe says.
"What were we talking about?"
"Well, blood and mayhem, mostly."
"...that's on me. I made that too easy," Cleo says. "But, Joe, if something's wrong, you can say so."
Joe is quiet.
"Or you can, like, not say anything?" they say. "I won't make you. Just, you also don't have to pretend to pay attention to me."
"Right, my bad. I'll pretend to ignore you instead."
"That's the spirit."
"Did you know I noticed the moon get big on Halloween?"
Cleo doesn't know how to respond, so they don't. They don't mean to look away from Joe, because that's rude, when he's saying something so important, but they do, a little bit, glancing up for a moment at the moon. It's large and nearly full, but there's a sliver waning away. The full moon, if they remember right, was a few days ago. They don't know why they felt like they needed to check.
"I noticed the moon get big on Halloween," Joe says again. "I mean, I didn't really. I just thought it was cool we had such a big full moon for Halloween. It made everything so much spookier, you know? It was only a little bit bigger, then. I didn't realize until later it had been getting bigger for--at least a week? Probably at least two? It grew so slowly then."
"I didn't know that," Cleo says.
"Well, I didn't say anything," Joe says. "I probably should have said something. I don't know. It's just--it's been two years now? It's been two years, and no one talks about it. I mean, sometimes in December, I guess, and at the start of the season we talked about it a little bit, but no one--I have a place in my base I'm already keeping everything important, and you and Cub have museums, and I keep on thinking that the museums are good, because if we were all gone tomorrow, and someone had to come pull something out of the rubble--is it stupid? Did it happen? Cleo, sometimes I feel like I'm crazy. No one talks about it. Maybe we shouldn't talk about it? Maybe it didn't matter? We're all fine now, we're all here, it didn't happen again, it's been two years since I had to miss you. And I love Halloween, and I noticed the moon get big on Halloween then, but it probably won't again, I mean, it was a freak thing, and, I just--does it even--did it matter, was it really bad, was it--"
He stops because Cleo's grabbed his hands, gently. They lower themselves down so they are looking Joe directly in the eyes.
"It was real. It mattered. It was bad," Cleo says.
Joe swallows and stares them in the eyes.
"I will never do that again," Cleo says.
"I won't make you promise that," Joe says. "I don't want to make you promise that."
"Okay. But it was bad. It mattered. It was bad," Cleo says.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
They stare at each other a little longer, and then slowly, Joe removes one of his hands from hers and looks back up at the sky.
"It's a waning gibbous," he says.
"That's what that's called?" Cleo says.
"Yeah," Joe says.
"Huh," Cleo says. "Sort of a boring name for a moon phase to have killed each other under, really."
Joe laughs. "You've got a point there. Not the most dramatic of moons, the waning gibbous."
"No, I can say that's not the most dramatic of moons at all," Cleo agrees, and then they are both silent for some time as they continue walking back towards Hermitcraft proper.
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nolita-fairytale · 1 year
Text
j is for james beard... and for jealousy | carmen 'carmy' berzatto x fem!reader
pairing: jealous boyfriend!carmy x female!reader 
word count: 7.4k
summary: after sydney takes home a big win at the james beard awards, you and your boyfriend carmy run into an old rival for a fiery, chaotic, and surprisingly sexy night. companion piece to 'make my heart surrender' but can be read as a standalone oneshot.
warnings: 18+ chapter, minors dni: lots of swearing, p*rn with a plot, smut, p in v unprotected sex (reader is using hormonal birth control in monogamous relationship), praise kink, rough jealousy sex
a/n: how dare I drag poor james beard into this hetero nonsense?! anywayssss surprise i'm back because i keep having ideas for these two. maybe one day i'll just write a carmy x reader piece that doesn't include this character but for now... please enjoy this literal porn with a plot. also: let's all agree that toxic jealousy is a red flag in relationships, however, i wanted to work with a scenario where carmy would perhaps be more sexually assertive.
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“I look ridiculous,” Carmy had grumbled earlier that day, at his reflection in the mirror. 
He had never felt like himself while wearing a suit. Sure, he would spend time, effort, and money into finding the perfect vintage denim jacket, but a suit? He’d much rather be behind the scenes, in his chef whites, instead of this. 
“You look…” you’d countered him, emphasizing the word ‘look’. “...hot, Carmen.”
He’d given you somewhat of a half smile in response – flattered by your comment, and also unconvinced you hadn’t just said in an attempt to get him out of the house. 
Or out of obligation. 
Because he’s your boyfriend. Because you’ll say anything to get him out for Syd’s big night. Because you love him. 
Carmy had never gotten used to the whole celebrity aspect of the food world – especially his own. These award ceremonies were always an uncomfortable reminder that he never quite felt like he fit in. 
“Do you think Syd would kill me if-?” Carmy had asked, shifting uncomfortably. 
“Baby, Sydney is counting on us… and she and I will both kick your ass if you don’t get in the car,” you’d cut him off, because there was no way in hell he was getting out of this. With a scowl on his face, you’d dragged him down the stairs and into your Uber. 
And that’s how he ended up here, at the James Beard award ceremony on a Sunday night, as you all wait anxiously for the announcement. While the restaurant hadn’t been open long enough to be nominated and was actively in a state of ‘working out the kinks,’ Carmy’s celebrity in the food world had brought in a lot of press. Ever since Sydney and Carmy had become partners in the reopen, he had been more than happy to let her take center stage. When the nominations were announced, and Sydney was on the list, he was ecstatic for her. Truthfully, it was a relief that she seemed to do much better with all the stuff he wasn’t crazy about: press, interviews, the spotlight. 
“Wake me up when this snoozefest is over,” Richie mumbles trying his best to pretend he’s not having a good time. You snort, shooting Richie a look, because you know it’s one of the most exciting nights he’s had in a while. 
Besides Carmy, who wouldn’t want to get all dressed up to go to a fancy party and celebrate Sydney?
You’ve somehow managed to corral the core staff of The Bear here this evening. The entire restaurant had been abuzz when the nominations were announced, and talks of who would get stuck at the restaurant the night of the award ceremony had already begun. It was an easy decision to close the restaurant for that night, so that everyone who wanted to could attend. 
Your life here is better than you ever imagined it could be. Working your ass off in a kitchen that you love has been invigorating. It’s helping you fall in love with the process all over again. You suspect that your time in fine dining had, perhaps, run its course even before you quit your last job. Back then, here is what you’d longed for on the days you felt your most lost. You love being a teacher; you love mentoring Marcus. He’s got a desire to learn that never quits, and it inspires you day in and day out. But most importantly, you’re head over heels in love. You’re so deeply in love with Carmy that sometimes, you wonder what took the two of you so long to pull the trigger.
Tonight is no different. You’re surrounded by people you adore more than anything  – people you’ve been in the trenches with during a dinner service from hell, people you’ve laughed your ass off with after a round of drinks outside of the restaurant – and you’re all here to celebrate someone who’s become a close friend of yours. It’s just another reminder – another sign from the universe – that you made the right decision.
And you’re sure Sydney is going to win. 
You’re not sure how you know. 
You can just feel it. 
Sydney sits between Carmy and Marcus, and you’re seated in between Carmy and Richie. You notice Carmy’s leg is bouncing up and down impatiently as he anticipates the next category of awards. Even though you know these big social events put Carmy on edge, you know he’s really just nervous for her. 
“And the winner… for the James Beard Rising Star award of 2023…” the announcer, esteemed chef Mashama Bailey begins, grabbing the attention of the entire room. 
Your heart is pounding in your chest, and Carmy continues to fidget nervously. You reach across Carmy’s lap, grabbing Sydney’s hand and giving it a squeeze of reassurance. Sydney holds on to you, and while you’re sure she might cut off your circulation from squeezing so tightly, you don’t mind. You’re all on the edges of your seat. 
“Sydney Adamu of The Bear!”
You and Carmy are cheering as loudly as you can, while Richie jumps to his feet letting out a loud ‘whoop.’ A chorus of ‘that’s right,’ ‘she won!’ and ‘c’mon syd’ echoes through Tina, Gary, and Ebra and Manny, while Angel is already on his feet taking a video of the crowd. Everyone is cheering so boisterously you’re not sure it’ll ever stop. 
“You won, Syd!” you yell over the loud claps and cheers, giving her hand one more squeeze. She rises, letting go of your hand, you and Carmy both following to give her some space to walk through the aisle. 
“Let’s go, Syd! That’s right. That’s right,” Marcus calls out loudly, jumping to his feet with Richie and earning a few looks from the people sitting to the right and left. 
“Congratulations, chef,” Carmy whispers, as she passes him by. You watch as Marcus ushers her over to the aisle so that she can go up to the stage while Angel films the whole thing on his iPhone. Carmy has the proudest look on his face, the tip of his nose the lightest blush pink, and you’re beaming as you watch your friend make her way towards the stage of the opera house. 
“Remember when this was you?” you whisper to Carmy, catching his attention. 
“Tonight everything changes for her,” Carmy replies, grinning from ear to ear. 
“For the both of you,” you add. “For all of us.”
The night he won the rising star award put him on the map. While you hadn’t known Carmy at the time, you’d heard about him in those early days of both of your careers. Carmy had risen so quickly through the ranks that by the time you met him, he was only a few weeks away from his promotion to CDC at the old restaurant. Not only did this put Sydney on the map, but it was better press for The Bear than anyone could ask for. 
“Congratulations, baby,” you say, kissing him on the cheek. He just shoots you a look, the pride evident in his eyes, before wrapping his arm around you and holding you close. 
~
“I just wanna say,” Richie begins, having garnered the attention of your group. You’re all huddled in a circle at the reception, champagne flutes in everyone’s hands. 
“I know we don’t always see eye to eye…” Richie toasts, earning a few looks and side comments from your team. “And don’t forget about that time you stabbed me… but even if this brings a bunch of fuckin’ strokes to the restaurant, we’re so fuckin’ proud of you.” 
“To Sydney, who’s… what does Carmy say… changed the chemistry and who is the heart of this restaurant,” Ebra adds on. 
Tina smiles proudly, raising her glass to Sydney. It brings a smile to your face to see her all dressed up too. 
“Syd, I don’t know where the hell we’d be without you,” Carmy continues, raising his glass. 
“Cheers to you, Sydney!” you say, clinking champagne glasses, before taking your first celebratory drink as a team. 
It doesn’t take long for your group to break off into smaller ones – making comments about how out of place you all feel at this fancy of an event. Richie’s wrapping an arm around Carmy’s shoulder, ushering him to a side conversation – something about ‘lizards this’, and ‘the working class that.’ 
“So how do you feel?” you ask, turning towards Sydney, taking a moment to quietly congratulate your friend. 
“I think I’m still in shock,” she sighs in relief, earning a chuckle from you. 
“Well, I’ll cheers to that. You know. To calm the nerves,” you joke, raising your glass once more. 
“To liquid courage,” she agrees, clinking glasses with you again, as you both decide just to finish off your flutes of champagne. 
“Can I get you another drink?” you offer, placing your now empty champagne 
“Oooo can you get me one of those fancy themed cocktails I saw at the bar earlier?” Sydney replies, excitedly. 
“Anything for you,” you say back. 
“And when you’re back, I think I saw Carla Hall has a tasting table here so we should make our rounds,” Sydney mentions, because there’s no way either of you are missing out on the fact that the best chefs in the world are cooking in this room right now. 
You nod in agreement, heading to the bar to get both you and Sydney a new round of drinks. 
“What can I getcha?” the bartender asks. 
You glance at the menu, deciding on your go-to, a gin and tonic, and then one of the featured cocktails of the evening that Sydney mentioned, knowing she’s a tequila drinker. You wait at the bar for your drinks, knowing the fancy mezcal cocktail you just ordered for Sydney will take a little bit of a time to make. 
“I was wondering when I’d run into you,” you hear a voice say, grabbing your attention. It’s a familiar voice that you were really hoping you’d never have to hear again. 
“Funny, because I was hoping to avoid you,” you quip back, turning to the man who’s just joined you at the bar. His bravado alone is enough to earn an eye roll from you and you can feel your guard going up. 
“What’re you doing here?” you ask, unable to hide the disdain in your voice. 
“You haven’t heard?” he asks, a cocky smirk on his face that you just want to slap off of it. 
“I don’t make it my business to keep up with you, Walker,” you shoot back, using his last name as a formality, completely unamused by his question.
“God, I love it when you talk dirty,” he croons, a flirtatious low chuckle rumbling out of his chest. 
You ignore him, rolling your eyes for the second time in the last two minutes, as you thank the bartender who’s just come back with your gin and tonic. You raise the glass to your lips, getting a head start since now, you definitely need this drink. 
“Moved to LA. Took a CDC position out there. Besides, after you left… New York was… getting boring,” he explains, playing it cool. He drops the name of the well-respected LA restaurant that he’s running now in an attempt to impress you, which only seems to piss you off further. 
You scoff in response. If you weren’t waiting on Sydney’s drink, you’d be long gone by now, but as you watch the bartender burn a sugar cube, you wonder how damn long it takes for a fucking mezcal drink to be made. 
Maybe if I’ll just ignore him, he’ll fuck off, you think to yourself.
“You know, I was surprised to hear you moved to Chicago. Left without saying goodbye. Then again, should’ve known…” he provokes, continuing his very one sided conversation. 
“What the hell is that supposed to mean, Nate?” you snap, turning your head to him, instantly regretting giving him the attention he’s so desperately seeking.
He raises an eyebrow, before nodding towards Carmy as a reply. Your gaze follows, and you can tell that Carmy’s noticed who you’re talking to at the bar. 
“It’s a small world. Word gets around. People talk.”
But you’re not listening to him, your eyes fixed on Carmy. Carmy sends a look of concern your way, but you nod back to him as if to say ‘all good.’ You can hold your own here. Nate watches carefully, noticing the look you share with Carmy across the room. He was always a detail oriented son of a bitch. 
“Classic golden boy,” Nate sighs, the envy in his voice giving him away. 
“Don’t you think your little one sided rivalry with Carmy is getting a little old?” you laugh dryly. 
“One sided?” Nate asks back, taking a step towards you. 
“Yeah, one sided,” you repeat, standing your ground. Now way in hell you’re going to let this asshole back you up. “Because if I recall correctly, he never indulged you in your silly little games.”
Nate laughs again, taking another step towards you that makes you increasingly more uncomfortable. 
“If that’s how you remember it.”
“Oh grow up.”
“Not when golden boy gets everything I want.”
“You’re so full of shit!” you exclaim, finally taking a step back. “Carmy’s had to work for everything he’s achieved. You and I both know that.”
“How do you think he’d feel,” Nate starts, and you’re not sure if he’s trying to sound seductive or intimidating – neither of which are working on you. “... if he knew about what happened between us? After he left New york? It was… what? A week, maybe two, before you jumped into bed with me?”
“Carmy knows I’m not a thing to be had, Nate,” you seethe, glaring at him. 
The bartender returns with your second drink finally. 
“You sure about that?” Nate smirks, reaching out to touch you. 
What a fucking asshole. 
“You’re disgusting,” you seethe, jerking your arm away from him. You take both of your drinks, and you can’t get out of there fast enough. 
“It was great catching up,” he calls after you, cockily. 
“Can’t say the same,” you say, not even turning to look back at him. 
You return to your group, holding in your fury. It’s Sydney’s big night and you’d much rather focus on that than the asshole of an old coworker you can’t fucking stand. You try to shake off the interaction, deciding it’s not even worth expending energy on. 
“What the hell was that all about?” Sydney asks, having witnessed your tenuous interaction with the man you called Nate. She thanks you as you hand her her new drink. 
“Absolute trashcan of a human. We used to work with him. In New York,” you said, letting out a puff of flustered air. 
“Okay but… that was weird right?” Sydney questions, seeing that this guy’s clearly gotten under your skin.
“Totally. He’s a piece of shit. He and Carmy always had this weird rivalry but it was mostly on his end. I… also may or may not have made the dumbest mistake ever once upon a time and slept with him… like… over a year ago,” you confess, feeling just a little bit guilty about it. 
“Noooo,” she replies, her eyes widening. “You slept with that guy?”
“Yeah,” you answer, regretfully. “Not one of my finest moments. Long story short: right after Carmy left New York to come back here, I got a little too drunk with some coworkers. I was really sad and it was stupid, and uh, he was… let’s just say more than happy to play the part of a good listener.”
“Can’t imagine that guy being good, or a listener, let alone both at once,” Sydney replies, seeing the negative effect he’s had on you in one conversation.
“Yeah, It was a stupid fucking mistake and I regretted it the next morning. If you can believe it, he got even more insufferable when he realized it would never happen again,” you tell her, shaking off the bad taste in your mouth the conversation left you with. 
“Yo,” Carmy says, hesitantly. He can tell that you’re pissed after your conversation at the bar. “Everything good?”
“Yeah,” you answer, honestly. “Just Nate Walker being a fuckin’ asshole. But what’s new?”
“Hey Syd! Let’s go grab a bite,” Marcus calls to her. 
“You guys mind?” she asks, looking from you to Carmy. 
You shake your heads ‘no’, and honestly, you’re glad it gives you a little time alone with your boyfriend. You watch as Sydney leaves with Marcus to make the rounds, leaving you and Carmy alone. 
“Haven’t heard that name in a while,” Carmy starts, bringing Nate up again. He can feel his face beginning to heat up as he asks you about it. 
“Yeah.”
“Biggest jackoff in New York City.”
“Well, apparently he’s LA’s problem now.”
“Fucko,” Carmy says, shaking his head at the memory of his pain in the ass sous. He can’t figure out why seeing Nate talk to you near-sent him into a blind rage, but you’d reassured him that you were good so, he let you hold your own. 
“Seems like he had a lot to say to you.”
“Yeah, lucky me,” you reply dryly. 
“After that I think I need a shower. Or a bath of bleach.”
Carmy lets out a small laugh, releasing some of the tension he, unknowingly, was holding in his body. 
“Listen, I don’t want to talk about Nate,” you say, changing the subject. 
It’s not that you feel weird about it – that you’d feel weird telling Carmy about what happened between the two of you – but it just feels so small and insignificant in the face of the love that you have with Carmy. 
“Good, me either,” Carmy exhales. 
Another release in pressure. 
He wonders if he’d been this tense all night, or if seeing you with Nate had managed to piss him off this much. 
“You wanna dance?” you ask him, a mischievous smile on his face. You offer a hand out to him. 
“Baby, you know I don’t dance,” he states, matter of factly. 
“I know. But I do,” you say, with a wiggle of your eyebrows. 
“One dance,” he warns, earning a triumphant smile from you.
He takes your hand, prompting you to put your drink down on the table where you’re all posted up at. Carmy shakes his head, surprised that you’ve coaxed him this far out of his comfort zone. As he pulls you into his arms, you giggle, wrapping yours around his neck and sway to the loud music in the background. 
“Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?” he asks you with such genuine love in those beautiful blue eyes of his. 
He thinks you look like a goddess – could be the dress, but he’s pretty sure it’s you. Your hair is shorter now than it was a few months ago and lays in the softest, most gentle waves, parted perfectly down the middle. He hasn’t stopped staring at cherry red-painted lips all night, and every time he gets a peek of your legs through the high slit in the dress you’re wearing, he swears he short circuits. 
Not to mention the low neckline. He’d watched you tie the top of the dress into a plunging neckline, and had to hold back his ask for you to cover up. It’s not that he cared about what you wore. But if he hadn’t been going to therapy over the last few months, he might feel some kind of way about anyone else getting to see any part of your breasts – anyone but him. 
“A couple of times… but I won’t be mad about hearing it a few more, Bear,” you grin, leaning into him. 
He smiles at your use of his childhood nickname. Back in New York, he’d kept it from you. It was just a reminder of what he’d left behind: his psycho mom, a nightmare of pain from his psycho-fucked-up family, how much it hurt when Mikey cut him out. But now, he loves the way it sounds coming from your lips, your voice the sweetest thing he’s ever heard. While he knows it’s taken him a long time to let you in, he’s glad he has. Whether it be at the restaurant or at the home you share together, you’ve become one of the most consistent things in his life. 
The rest of the night is almost perfect. It’s filled with dancing, catching up with coworkers and friends in the culinary world, and most importantly, a celebration with your chosen family. That is, until you hear Sydney swear halfway across the room, catching the attention of you and Carmy both. 
Carmy’s looking past you to where Nate is towering over Sydney at the bar. If looks could kill, he’s pretty sure Nate would be dead by now. 
“Is that Nate again?” Carmy asks, his face pink as he feels a rush of blood flow throw him. 
You can see that Sydney is practically in the same place you were an hour ago. You watch as he steps in front of her, practically blocking her in between him and the bar. 
“I don’t like this. We should go over there,” you say with a sense of urgency. 
Carmy agrees, and Richie and Marcus, who you’re currently conversing with, follow close behind. 
“Okay. You need,” Sydney warns, her voice deliberate, like a rattlesnake giving one last warning before it strikes. “... to back… the fuck up.” 
His response is even worse, causing a fire to burn in your belly as you overhear what he says to Sydney. 
“Oh come on,” he coos, forcing himself closer to her. “I’m just trying to have a little fun.”
Sydney takes another step to the side, trying her best to escape him and holding her hands up as a barrier while you charge at him. Your sudden movement attracts his attention, giving Sydney the out that she needs. You put both of your hands on his chest, shoving him away from her as you shout. 
“She said ‘no.’ What the fuck is wrong with you?!”
Nate’s got such a smug, satisfied smirk on his face that, if you weren’t in a room filled with the best chefs in the world, you’d actually punch it right off of him. Carmy follows you, protectively standing behind you. 
“Jealous?” he asks, amused. His eyes flicker over to Carmy, whose face is beginning to heat up, turning a brighter shade of red by the moment.  
“In your dreams, asshat,” you spit back. 
“Yeah, you’re right about that,” he says, completely satisfied as Carmy’s fist clenches. He’s clearly enjoying just how much he’s getting under his old boss’ skin. 
You feel Carmy step towards him, but you turn to him, placing a hand on his abdomen to stop him, “Bear, it’s not worth it.”
“Did you tell him?” Nate asks you, with the intention of stirring the pot. 
“Jesus Christ,” you mutter, shaking your head in absolute disbelief. 
“Tell me what?” Carmy asks you softly. 
“How does it feel, golden boy? To know that the one thing you always wanted… I got to first,” Nate sneers, a threatening sound in his voice. He looks from you to Carmy, assessing the damage. 
Before Carmy can say anything, it’s you who lurches towards NAte, and Carmy’s wrapping his arms around you to hold you back. You can feel the tension in his arms as he holds you against his chest protectively. 
“Okay this motherfucker is just asking for it,” Richie seethes, charging towards Nate. 
“Richie, don’t!” Sydney shouts, shooting him a ‘please don’t make a scene’ look. 
It takes all of Richie’s self control to stop himself. He nods to her, holding up his hands as a surrender. He begins to take a few steps back as your uncomfortably public standoff continues. 
Sydney has retreated back so that she stands side by side with Marcus, while Carmy’s loosened his grip on your waist. 
By the look on Nate’s face, you can tell he thinks he’s gotten away with it all, as he looks around at all of you one last time. 
“You all have a goodnight,” he smirks, before taking his drink and slithering away. 
You could care less where to. You’re just glad he’s gone. 
You watch as he goes before checking in with Sydney, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I’m fine,” she says, shaking her head. Marcus is by her side in an instant and you can see Carmy’s jaw twitching with anger. “Can’t believe you used to work with that guy. Fuck that guy.”
“Yeah, fuck that guy,” Richie agrees under his breath. 
“C’mon. Let’s just…” Marcus encourages quietly, nodding to your table. 
Richie, Marcus, and Sydney all make their way back to your group as you stay with Carmy. His face is red and you can see it on his face that he’s still processing what just happened – what Nate said. You can see the gears turning in his head, and he’s staring at the floor, his face still cherry tomato-red.
“Carmy,” you say, ripping him from his thoughts. 
He looks up at you, his face softening the minute you make eye contact. 
“Can we go somewhere? Talk?” he asks, trying not to look like he’s going to burn the fuckin’ place down. 
You agree with a nod, taking his hand and leading him elsewhere. 
The further away from the reception you go, the quieter the party gets, and the louder your thoughts get. Would he be mad? You were furious with Nate for trying to use what happened to get under Carmy’s skin, but you also wonder if he’s mad at you too. For sleeping with Nate? For not telling him? But was it something you were supposed to tell him? It’s not like you expected him to tell you about every person he’d ever slept with. 
Carmy finally stops, leading you into a quieter room, far away from the party. As you flick the lights on, it looks like a single dressing room for the plays performed here. The silence between the two of you is deafening, and it’s not just because it’s the first quiet moment you’ve had together since you arrived. 
“I’m not mad… about Nate… about what he said,” Carmy says, breaking the silence between the two of you. 
He’s trying his best to sound convincing, reassuring even, but he’s sure he’s doing a shit job. 
You’re surprised, so you just take him in, searching his face for any clue that he’s telling that truth. His face is red, and you can see a tightness running across his chest as he’s looking for the courage to ask:
“But why didn’t you tell me?” 
You sigh, unsure of what to say. 
“Because…” you begin, hoping that if you just start talking, you’ll find the right words to explain. “I-, I didn’t think I had to. It happened once and it was a stupid mistake with… a lot of tequila involved.”
“You had just left New York and I was lonely. I didn’t say anything because… it didn’t mean anything to me, Bear.”
He listens, taking your explanation in, his eyes fixed on the floor again. He’s not mad at you, but he can’t seem to shake this feeling of anger – this tension that has him wanting to punch a hole through the wall. 
“I don’t like what he fuckin’ said to you,” he finally blurts out. 
“That- that he thinks he can just say whatever the fuck he wants. That he forced himself on Syd like that, like he can-.”
Carmy looks down at the floor again, his words trailing off. 
He’s pissed. 
You can tell he’s pissed. 
But you have a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach that says something else is going on. 
Is Carmy… jealous?
“Carmy, I’m sorry you had to find out like this,” you apologize softly. “He shouldn’t have-, I mean he really is the worst fucking person to ever walk-.”
“I’m not upset about-,” he interrupts, firmly. He holds your gaze, trying to give you the most reassuring look he can. “I don’t care about-. I just… I don’t like the way he talked to you.”
You wait as he stews on his thoughts, his anger simmering as he sorts through his feelings. It’s like watching a hot pot of water come to a boil. 
“I didn’t like seeing him touch you earlier like-.”
Let it rip.
“Like he can just put his hands on anyone he-. On you! I–.”
And then finally he explodes with, “I just fuckin’ hate that guy!”
It’s as if the pressure valve has been released as he lets out a big puff of air. While you can see it’s given him some relief, you’re still not sure what you’re supposed to offer at this moment. 
“Carmy, what can I- hmmph?” you begin to ask, before being cut off by his lips on yours. 
Well this isn’t what you were expecting.
Your head is spinning as your boyfriend kisses you with such passion, fervor, and urgency. He’s crashing his lips against yours at a desperate pace, and it’s all tongues and teeth and his hands are grabbing the back of your head, tangling into your hair. You’re not sure how you’ve gone from trying your best to hold space for your boyfriend’s feelings, to him pressing you up against the dressing room counter.
You gasp as he hoists you up onto the counter, pushing his body into yours. 
“Carmy, are you-?” you ask, feeling the tent that’s already formed in his pants as you wrap your legs around him. 
There’s a confident assertiveness he moves with, and as much as you hate to admit it, this is all turning you on.
“Hate that fuckin’ guy,” Carmy murmurs into your skin, as he begins to leave kisses down your jawline. 
His mouth moves urgently down your neck, to your shoulders, to the exposed skin the plunging neckline of your dress reveals. His teeth leave light pink and purple marks in their wake, and you’re gasping, moaning, grabbing at any part of him you can hold on to. Little love bites begin to appear, but when he’s making you feel this good, you could care less. 
He’s confident in the way he sucks little marks into your skin, biting down then immediately soothing the pain with his tongue. As he works his mouth over you, he looks up at you, his eyes wide, pupils blown out in pure desire, and it takes your fucking breath away. 
Pain and pleasure.
Just to show the whole world that you’re his. 
 “Thinks he can fuckin’ look at you. Put his fuckin’ hands on you,” he mumbles against your skin. His mouth has reached the lowest point of your plunging neckline as he stands up, pushing himself against you between your legs. 
“Baby,” you breathe out. You make a mental note to unpack why his sudden possessiveness has you so hot and bothered with your therapist next week. 
“I really, really don’t want to talk about him right now.”
Carmy drops to his knees, stripping off his suit jacket and throwing it elsewhere. The sight has you absolutely drenched and you think you may cum just from looking at him. 
“You’re mine,” is all he says, eliciting another moan from you as he sinks his teeth into the soft supple skin of your calf. You slide a heel-covered foot over his shoulder, as his lips begin trail up your calf, to your knee, to your inner thighs…
“Yes. I’m yours,” you breathe out, exasperated by Carmy’s sudden forwardness. You lean back, your head hitting the mirror with a thud. “All yours.”
He works his way up your thighs, leaving soft kisses on your inner thighs while his hands disappear underneath the skirt of your dress, frantically searching for your panties. 
“Carmy, I don’t know if we have time for-,” you gasp, as he pulls away for a moment. 
His curls are unruly from running your fingers through them, his lips swollen from the passionate makeout you started only moments ago. You feel his fingers hook underneath the top of your panties and he looks at you like he can see right through you. Holding your gaze, it’s impossible to not get lost into his ocean blue eyes you’ve fallen so deeply in love with. He takes his sweet time, teasing you, refusing to break eye contact, as he pulls your panties down your legs at an unbearable slow pace. 
You don’t look away. 
You don’t dare look away. 
Finally, finally, he breaks eye contact, sliding your panties over your feet, and putting them into his pocket as you brace yourself for what comes next. 
“We should-,” you start, your words ceasing instantly as he spreads your legs, licking a stripe up your dripping wet core. You cry out loudly, panicking almost instantly, because you don’t remember locking the damn door. 
We should stop. 
Do this elsewhere. 
Lock the door. 
Keep quiet. 
But you can’t seem to get the words out, as you let out another loud moan, and Carmy doesn’t have the heart to stop you. Something primal inside of him wants nothing more than for the whole party mere hallways away to hear you crying out his name. 
“Fuck, baby,” he murmurs, dragging his tongue through your folds. “Already so wet for me and I’ve barely even put my mouth on you.”
He wonders if there’s an award for this. 
Lifetime Loser Award.
2023’s Most Jealous Boyfriend
Chef Most Likely to Fuck His Girlfriend During the James Beard Reception Because He’s a Sad, Jealous Fuck.
“Carmy, please,” you beg, scooting your hips off the counter and pulling him up from the ground. Your demand rips him from his own self deprecating thoughts. 
“I need you inside of me. Now.” 
You need him.
“Turn around,” is all he says. 
He’s not sure where he gets the confidence for such a demand and it has you clenching around nothing. 
You’re more than happy to oblige as you whisper out a ‘yes,’ and turn yourself around to face the mirror. You can hear the sound of him unzipping his pants, then he’s hiking up the skirt of your dress once more. He puts his hands on your hips to steady you – maybe even to steady himself – and you can feel the head of his cock running through your folds. 
Just when you think you may die if you don’t get what you want, you let out the loudest cry you think has ever come out of your mouth as he pushes inside of you. You gasp, your fingers gripping the edge of the counter as you feel him shudder against your back. Your head hangs low, just focusing on memorizing how every single inch of him feels inside of you.
Carmy’s thrusts are slow at first, deep and deliberate thrusts burying himself all the way to the hilt. The sight of his cock disappearing inside of you is really testing his patience here as he thinks he may go insane. 
Back out. 
Then back in. 
“You’re so fuckin’ wet. So fuckin’ perfect for me. God, I love being inside of you,” he groans, enjoying his last few slow and deep thrusts. 
He’s got one hand on your hips and the other, wrapped around your waist. As he begins to speed up the pace of his thrusts, the hand around your waist goes to the counter too, to brace himself. 
“Carmen,” you moan his name, as he starts to go faster. “Yes. Perfect for you. Only you.”
Only you. 
Your words cause him to smirk, and the sounds you’re making only encourage him to keep fucking into you like he means it. 
“Look at yourself, baby,” he says, his words causing you to squeeze around him. He groans, his eyes rolling back, before he returns his gaze to the mirror. 
When you lock eyes, it’s like you’ve been set on fire. Your skin feels hot, and the prolonged eye contact has you squeezing around him as you start to grind against him. You feel lightheaded, breathless, purely at his mercy. 
Carmy holds your gaze through the mirror and you want to commit this photo to memory. You watch your reflections in the mirror, seeing your face change as he speeds up again. His hands are everywhere: in your hair, grabbing you breasts, tracing over the little marks he’s left all over your chest.
 “This how I make you feel? Tell me. Tell me how good I make you feel,” he asks, and you think this is the most vocal he’s been during sex.
“So good, Car,” you’re panting. He grabs a handful of your hair, guiding your head to the side so that he can kiss you. You manage to continue your praise in between wet, sloppy, and desperate kisses, and desperate thrusts between the both of you.
“So fuckin’ good. So high. Like I’ll never come back down.”
He’s satisfied with your answer, feeling more and more confident with each thrust. You can tell he likes it, so you decided, why the hell not?
“You feel incredible inside of me, baby,” you continue, wanting nothing more than to appease him. 
He’s swallowing your moans in his mouth, as he continues to fuck you, your pushing your ass back against him, your hands bracing against the mirror. You see stars as he hits that spot inside of you – the one that makes you let out a sob – and he’s bending you over the counter so that he can find that spot again and again. Carmy presses his forehead against your shoulder as his hands move underneath your skirt once again, rubbing fierce circles around your clit, trying to take you there with him. He knows he won’t last long when you’re moaning his name like that. He looks up for a moment, enjoying the reflection in the mirror a little too much, before sinking his teeth into your shoulder, feeling himself get closer… closer…
You can feel he’s close too, so you say something, something you know will bring him over the edge. 
“Want you to cum inside of me.”
“That what you want? Want me to fill you up? Have me dripping down your legs when any other fucko tries to talk to you tonight. Tries to even fuckin’ look at you…” he asks, his breath ragged and sentences becoming increasingly choppy. 
He's leaving little kisses and bite marks all over your upper back as he continues to fuck you.
“Yes,” you pant, moaning his full name once again. 
“Fffffffuck, baby. That’s so hot,” he stutters, his thrusts becoming more erratic. He grabs a handful of your ass, chasing his high with you. 
You’re squeezing your eyes shut so hard you see stars when he finds that spot again, and you remember that he wanted you to watch. You blink open your eyes, breathless as you take in the image of your boyfriend fucking you from behind. He’s got his forehead resting on your shoulder. You feel the delicious contradiction of pain and pleasure once again, as he sinks his teeth into the soft skin of your shoulder, in the same place from before.
So close. And you're already so tender.
“Carmen. Yes. Right there. Please, baby. Fuck. Don’t stop,” you’re crying out as you as your walls clamp down around him. It’s like an explosion erupts inside of you and you feel that you perhaps are on another fuckin’ plane of existence from the way he makes you feel. 
Your eyes close again as he fucks you through your orgasm, taking you higher and higher. The way your walls are squeezing around him have him on edge and he gives you one, two, and then a third thrust before painting your walls with his release too.
He stops, resting his head on your back again, still buried all the way inside of you.
Both of your heavy pants fill the room, before you interrupt the status quo with a laugh. 
“Holy shit, babe,” you finally say, exasperated and completely fucked out.
He pulls out of you, and you have to put a hand down on the counter he just bent you over, for balance as you stand up straight. You can hear Carmen pulling his pants back up and you’re adjusting your dress as you turn to look at him. His eyes are fixed on the button of his trouser pants, as you grab his face for another long, lust-filled kiss. 
“What do you say… to getting out of here? Maybe continuing this at home?” you propose, your voice hoarse from what you’ve just done. Your forehead is still pressed to his and you want nothing more for him to say ‘yes.’ 
“Fuck yes. Please,” he practically groans, wondering how it’s possible for him to be hard again already. 
“I’ll order a car,” you agree, reaching for where you left your phone on the dressing room counter. 
“Surge rates, babe” he sighs, the disappointment evident in his voice as he issues the little reminder.
You shoot him a look that says ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me?’
“I will pay all the surge rates in the world, if I get to have you again, as soon as possible,” you state, and he’s not sure he’s going to be able to wait till you get home.
You glance back down to your phone, your fingers moving quickly through the right buttons to get a car on the way. As soon as you see the confirmation, your swiping out of the app, and over to an unread message:
Sydney: So that was weird. Where did you guys go?
You: Out for some air. Sorry, we’ll be right back in. 
Sydney: Angel wants pizza and a few of us are gonna go. Wanna come with?
You: Think we’re gonna head home. Breakfast tomorrow? My treat. 
Sydney: 100%
You: Congratulations again, friend. Love you. 
“What’s going on?” Carmy asks, as he sees you fiercely texting away. 
“Nothin’,” you answer, seeing the Uber notification popping up on your phone. “Just telling everyone we’re gonna head home.”
You turn your back to the mirror to examine the damage, immediately spotting Carmy’s bite mark on your shoulder. 
“Carmen,” you sigh, fingertips running over the huge bite mark on your shoulder – the one he left when he made while cumming inside of you.
Carmy takes a look, a small smirk on his lips as he sees what you’re referring to. He has to admit that he’s almost… proud of himself as he leans over, leaving a soft kiss against one of the rapidly forming purple bite marks left on the back of your shoulder. 
As much as he’d like to show the entire culinary world that you’re his, he removes the suit jacket he just put back on, and hands it to you. 
“Here. You can wear this.”
You giggle, taking it and appreciating Carmen’s act of chivalry. 
“As much as I’d love to do a walk of shame through a room full of the world’s best chefs… think I’ll keep this one between me and the one that just fucked me,” you joke playfully, as you kiss him as a ‘thank you.’
You check your reflection in the mirror as you drape the coat strategically over your shoulders, making sure you both look somewhat presentable enough to flee the scene with dignity. 
“Carm?” you ask. 
“Before we leave. I just-, I want you to-,” you stammer, uncertain if you’re doing the right thing by telling him. You’d hate to play into Nate’s little game – even if you both won after what just happened. 
“Hmm?”
“Just… you know… for the sake of factual accuracy and not that we’re playing Nate’s game at all but... you and I hooked up first. Nate just doesn’t know that.”
He nods in response, trying not to make it seem like a big deal. 
But it certainly makes him feel better.
“Well, if we’re being factually accurate…” he offers up in response. “I know you always thought our whole rivalry thing was one sided… but it wasn’t.”
“No?”
“Rode that guy as hard as I could, every chance I got,” he confesses, in reference to your old, very toxic work environment. 
“Because he deserved it?” 
“Because I hated how much he flirted with you.”
You shake your head with a small smile. Your phone is buzzing in your hand, letting you know that your Uber has arrived. 
“Let’s get the fuck out of here, Bear.”
2K notes · View notes
forever-rogue · 1 year
Note
Heyyyyyy!! First things first, I LOVE YOUR WORK.
I have a request!!
I was hoping you could write a a Joel Miller x Fem! Reader -
Joel and Y/N met in Jackson, and together now raise Ellie. What if one night Y/N is out with some girl friends at a community event or whatever and some guys begin to hit on her and make some inappropriate comments about her, and her relationship with Joel. After Joel finds out he finds the guys and teaches them a lesson about respecting a woman, especially his woman?
You can write this or spin off however you want to! I’d just love to see protective / feral Joel
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AN | Okay, so men are the worst but never Joel. Have some Protective!Joel 🥰
Pairing | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader
Warnings | Language, Mild Violence (non-graphic knife use), undertones of SA (it doesn’t happen, but does get referenced)
Word Count | 2.7k
Masterlist | Joel, Main
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
"Are you sure you don't want to come?" Joel was already laid up in bed, a book in his hands that he wasn't really reading, instead watching you closely. You were mesmerizing.
"I'm sure," he promised, snapping his book shut and getting up. You watched with a small smile as he came over and stood behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and meeting your gaze in the mirror. His eyes were on yours as he pressed kisses to your bare shoulder, "go on and have fun, baby."
"I'd have more fun with you there, my love," you gently prodded him but you knew that when he had his mind set on something he didn't often change it.
"I'm too old and tired," he teased as you playfully rolled your eyes, "I'll make it worthwhile when you get home."
"Now you're making me just want to stay home with you," you reached up and playfully ruffled his hair, "you always make it worth my while cowboy."
"You are going to go out and have a good time with your friends," he insisted softly with a kiss to the side of your head. You pouted playfully as he pulled away and sat back in the bed, "I'll be waiting right here for you when you get back."
"I'm holding you to that," you winked at him before grabbing your shoes, "you and Ellie have fun too."
"Kid's with Dina tonight," the two of you exchanged a sly grin. Ellie was not good in the slightest at hiding her affections for the other girl, "but I'll keep myself occupied."
"Stay out of trouble!"
"No promises," and with that he resumed his former position and grabbed his book again. At least you wouldn't have to worry about him tonight, "now go and have fun, baby."
"I love you," you grinned at him as he pretended not to hear you, "say it back, Miller!"
"I love you," he promised softly, "now go and quit stallin'!"
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
One of the best things about Jackson was that it was almost like life was normal. Well - it was normal, the normal that had become so over the course of almost twenty-one years. But there was still comfort in going out with a few friends, having a drink and not worrying about anything.
And, it would turn out, that evening you were mostly right. But also wrong.
Sitting around a table with your girlfriends felt so right, especially when you were gossiping about your current love lives. It wasn't so much gossiping as it was sharing stories, which was still a lot of fun.
"And then Billy said he wanted to try-"
"Hello there pretty ladies," and just like that your entire evening was ruined. The three of you immediately quieted and exchanged wary looks. The man in question was a scummy looking thing that radiated nothing but bad vibes. The friend he had in tow was no better and they were both smirking wickedly, "you look like you could use some company."
But you decided that you weren't having it. You sighed heavily, putting on a sticky sweet smile, "and you look like you can't read the room. Leave."
"Oh," he zoned in on you, stepping closer so he was leaning into you, his warm breath fanning over your face, "you're a feisty one. I like you."
"Well that makes one of us," you sighed dramatically, "you can go now."
"I don't think I will-"
"Listen," Maria spoke up and you'd never been more thankful for her, "you need to leave. Otherwise you'll be dealing with her husband and I don't think you want that. Or mine."
"Ahh," and then he had the audacity to touch you, putting his hand on your face and stroking your cheek, "cute. I'm sure this husband doesn't even exist. I could show you what a real man is like-"
"Go," Tania had had enough and shoved the man off you and stumbling backwards into the bar, "and don't ever show your face around here again."
"Fine," he held up his hands like he was the innocent party, "pathetic bitches."
But luckily they finally got the picture and left, leaving the three of you shaken, but alone. The interaction left a sour feeling in your stomach. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
By the time you left the bar it was late and dark but luckily it wasn't a long walk home. More importantly you couldn't wait to get back to the man that was waiting for you at home. A wistful sigh escaped your lips at the thought.
But as you walked your usual path home you couldn't shake the feeling that someone was following you. That caused your heart to race and your mind to panic with worry, despite how calm you tried to keep yourself. 
After a little bit you stopped dead in tracks and turned around, looking into the darkness. It was then that you saw the man from earlier. Of course he waited. You swallowed the lump in your throat, "what do you want?"
"Aww, little lady," he took that as an invitation to come closer, "I just want to spend some time with you. You know, get to know you a little better."
"I have a husband," you couldn't mask the disgust on your face or in your voice, "and you're a pathetic prick, so you can fuck off."
"What he doesn't know won't hurt him," he was in front of you now, hand on your upper arm and grabbing harshly, "come on, you know you want it-"
"Fuck off," you pulled his hand off your arm and twisted it, causing him to groan, "and fuck you."
You kneed him in the crouch and he stumbled backwards, yelling a slew of curses at you. He definitely hadn't expected you to fight back, but he was so very wrong. You took the opportunity and ran the rest of the way back home.
As soon as you got inside, you slammed the door shut behind you, making sure it was locked behind you. You leaned against and took a moment to catch your breath and relax. 
"Hey baby," Joel was at the foot of the stairs looking at you with worry written all over his face. Fuck. You hadn't wanted him to see you like this, "what's wrong?"
"I-I'm fine-"
"Is that why you came runnin' in here and slammed the door?" He crossed his arms over his broad chest and raised an eyebrow, "baby-"
"I wanted to see you," you swallowed the lump in your throat; you hated lying to him, "couldn't get home to you soon enough."
"Mhmm," you could tell that he didn't quite believe you, but wasn't going to call out your bluff just yet, "you had a good time?"
"I did," and for the most part you really had. You walked over to him when leaned up to press a kiss to his cheek, "but this will always best out everything."
"Come on," he took your hand in his and laced your fingers together before gently pulling you up the stairs, "I believe I made you a promise. And I don't like to break those."
"I'd hate for you to do that too," you agreed, with wide, eager eyes, "don't want to break your wife's heart, do you?"
"Never," he led you into the bedroom and shut the door, ushering back towards the bed. You easily complied, sitting down when the back of your knees hit the mattress. Joel had a wolfish look on his face as he drank in the sight of you, "you're so damn beautiful."
"Joel," your cheeks warmed up as crouched down in front of you, his hands settling on your hips. Before you could say anything else, he leaned in and kissed you, softly at first but quickly with more hunger. 
Your husband reached for the hem of your sweater and slowly pulled it off before tossing it to the side. As soon as you tried to reach for him, Joel froze and pulled back, a hard look settling on his features.
"What is this?" He tenderly held up your arm, frowning at the finger shaped bruises that were already blooming across your skin, "who?"
"Joel-"
"Who did this to you?" He was angry, but not at you. Never at you. Tears welled up immediately as you looked at him with a pathetic little expression, "baby…"
"There were two guys that came up while we were at the bar," a few tears rolled down your cheek but he gently wiped them away, "they were being gross and creepy, but eventually left us alone. W-when I was walking home one of them was waiting outside for me and he started to follow me. H-he grabbed me and tried to…"
Joel didn't hesitate to wrap his arms around you, pulling in for a tight hug, gently stroking your back, "I know, baby. It's okay - I've got you. Let it out."
"He grabbed me but I remembered what you taught me and was able to get away," you buried your face into his chest, "'m sorry."
"What are you sorry for, huh?" He let out a long breath before pressing gentle kisses to the side of your head, "you've got nothing to be sorry for."
"I just…" you pulled back and sighed lightly, "I got scared. But I'm glad you're here."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there to help," his hand was on your neck as he stroked your jaw, "but I know my girl can handle anything. Who was it?"
"I think his name is Adam," you shrugged lightly, "he's part of that new group. The one with the beard that always wears flannels."
Joel's jaw ticked as his eyes narrowed. He knew exactly who you were talking about, "Adam."
"Joel," you put your hand on his shoulders and gave it a light squeeze, "he's a jerk but please don't do anything rash. I can let it go…please tell me you'll do the same. I know it sucks but I don't think he's going to be doing anything to anyone anymore."
"I can let it go," he whispered, closing his eyes as he kissed your forehead, "I love you."
"I love you too, Joel."
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
So…Joel wasn't lying when he said he could let it go. Not technically. He could let it go.
But he sure as hell wasn't going to. Not for this. No one did this to his girl, his wife. Nor was this Adam going to ever do it again. He'd make sure of that.
The anger and rage was practically radiating off Joel as he walked to the main community building to report for patrol duty. He might have pulled a few strings to ensure that he'd be on duty with a certain someone…but it was worth it.
"Adam, right?" He put a fake smile as the younger man approached and nodded.
"Yep," he even sounded like an asshole, "you must be Miller."
"I am," he agreed and held out his hand, "Joel Miller."
"Nice to meet you-"
"You know what's funny," Joel's grip on his hand was like a vise, "you've already met my wife."
"Your wife?"
"Mhmm," he could see the man squinting as he tried to pull his hand away, "she told me all about it."
"O-oh," he was finally able to wrench his hand free, "what's her name?"
Joel almost hated even just telling him your name but he repeated it just loudly enough for him to hear. Adam nodded, clearly unsure of where this was going, “she was out the other night with some girlfriends. Another of which also happens to be my sister-in-law. She told me you were there with a friend. So.”
Adam’s face paled almost immediately as realization hit him. He knew exactly who you were, who Joel was, and that he knew what had happened.
“Listen, man - I think there was some sort of misunder-”
“Don’t,” Joel grabbed him by the color of his shirt and pulled him close, “don’t fuckin’ lie to me and say it was some sort of misunderstanding. My girl says you made them feel uncomfortable and that you followed her. I’m inclined to believe her - she has no reason to lie. Why would she lie?”
“She’s probably just-”
“I wouldn’t say another word if you know what’s good for you,” Joel’s voice was low and dangerous and he reached into his back pocket to pull out his knife. He held it up to his neck, just against the skin, not enough to break it but enough to provide a stern warning, “you should be glad it was my wife that you dealt with that night and not me. I would not have been so forgiving.”
“Please. I-I’m sorry-”
“Funny,” he smirked at the panicking man, “now you’re sorry. You weren’t so sorry the other night, were you? I saw the bruises on her arm. She asked me to let it go, you know. You’re lucky - after this, I will. But let me make this extremely clear - if I ever see or hear about pulling anything like this again….you won’t live to see another day. If I ever see you near my wife again, you will regret it.”
“Joel, I-”
“I am a killer,” he hissed through gritted teeth, “I ain’t killed anyone in a long time now, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t do it again. You understand me?”
“Y-yes,” he stammered nervously and Joel couldn’t help but dig the knife ever so slightly into his skin, causing a thin line of blood to bubble up. 
“I want to hear you say it.”
“Yes, I understand,” and just like that, Joel pushed him away, causing him to stumble over his feet and fall to the ground. Joel offered up a saccharine smile as he wiped the blade clean and stuffed it back into his pocket.
“Good,” he said firmly, “now get out of my sight and don’t let me see you again.”
Adam was gone and out of sight before Joel could say anything else. 
─── ・ 。゚☆: *.☽ .* :☆゚. ───
“Joel Miller,” your hands were on your hips as you stood in the doorway to the kitchen as Joel walked inside the house. He looked at you with a sheepish expression; he was a smart man and he knew exactly what this was about, “what did I say?”
“You said to let it go,” he hung his head as he walked over to you. 
“And you did exactly the opposite of what I asked, didn’t you?”
“Yes ma’am,” he stated sheepishly. Before he could say anything else, he felt you throw your arms around him and hang onto him like a koala, “baby?”
“I can’t believe you did that for me,” you looked at him incredulously as he couldn’t help but smile at you, “did you really make him piss himself?”
“First of all, how did you hear about that?”
“Jenny who saw it all, who told Tommy, who told Maria, who told Ellie, who told me,” you grinned and he laughed. 
“He didn’t quite piss himself but I got the point across,” you couldn’t stop yourself from kissing him and you could feel him smiling against your lips, “you’re not mad?”
“I mean, I’m a little annoyed that you didn’t listen to me,” you sighed softly, “but also love the fact that you didn’t listen. You defended me.”
“I would do anything for you,” he took your jaw in his hand and turned your face up to his, “anything. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” you nodded, feeling warmth pool low in your belly, “I would do the same for you.”
“I know,” he kissed you with an intensity that you had practically melting into him, “I love you, baby.”
“I love you,” you made a small sound as he picked you up, “Joel!”
“Let me show you how much.”
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coldbronzemoon · 1 year
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Danny Fenton, Totally Mortal Hero Consultant (DPxDC)
Snippet for an AU I'll probably never fully write where Danny takes a job as a consultant for the Justice League to help with ghost and demon bullshit. It's a pretty good cash flow to help him with college, after all, and very flexible hours.
He just claims all his knowledge comes from his parents. Unfortunately, the JL has caught word of the elusive yet active hero Phantom, and want Danny to help them meet and assess him. Whoops.
Over the phone, Tucker sighed. “Good Christ, Danny, why do you keep doing this?”
“I’m not doing anything,” Danny said immediately. He winced at the vague sound of screaming below. Demons sucked. “I didn’t know the JL thing was gonna have me finding Phantom. How would I? They were talking about tracking down powerful ghosts, I was assuming Ancients!”
Tucker sighed again, which was really quite unfair of him. “Mhm. Well, Fenton Catcher?”
“Probably not. They know me pretty well at this point, and unlike what Sam says I can be professional. I’d confuse them with the… uh…”
“Stoner shtick?”
There was more screaming happening, but judging from the pitch it was a demon screaming this time. Danny checked the situation. Yep, demon getting their ass kicked. He didn’t need to get involved with a blaster. Yet.
Instead, he scowled at his phone. “Stop calling it that.”
“You’re gonna tell me flanny Danny wasn’t a pitch-perfect stoner, huh? With the chill vibing and the dopey look?”
“I hate you.”
“Love you too, bud.” 
The sound of a clacking keyboard that had underlined their conversation stopped. “But seriously, Danny, what the hell are you gonna do with this?”
“Uh, lie, probably,” Danny said, because it was very likely.
“Alright, smartass, what are you going to do when that lie backfires on you like literally every other one does?”
“That’s when I start gaslighting, gatekeeping, and girlbossing, babe.”
He had a hard time hearing Tucker’s distant groan of “Why am I still your friend?” on account of the sudden explosion. Danny checked again. Hm. Demon dude had a nasty fire thing going on.
Danny switched on his Fenton water gun—holy water included!-- and shot the demon in the face. They let out a cracking hiss of rage, but dropped the fire spell thing. He waited for them to stop looking around wildly for the culprit for a moment. 
He went back to the call. “‘Cause you loooove me, Tuck. From the bottom of your twice-dead heart.”
“Unfortunately,” Tucker deadpanned.
Danny just cackled. It was lost amongst the sound of supernatural bullshit below.
“Anyway, I’m still figuring out my plan A, honestly. Might bring in gray-man?”
“Amorpho’s an asshole, though. He’ll ruin the whole thing by taking the opportunity to shift into a JL member for a bit.”
Hm. True.
“Yeah, but he’s the main guy I know with that power set.”
“Ask after Desiree?” He could hear the immediate distaste in Tucker’s voice. “Ugh, pretend I didn’t say that. That’s worse than Amorpho.”
“It’s awful,” Danny agreed easily. 
Desiree was actually pretty alright nowadays, mostly on account of Danny remembering the last couple minutes of Aladdin and wishing she could refuse wishes she didn’t want to grant. That had made her happy enough to stop actively picking fights. 
Unfortunately, spending the entirety of one’s afterlife twisting the wording of wishes to their worst form made it hard to stop being an asshole. Who knew! So getting Desiree to split him in two for like a week had a 50/50 chance of fucking up his work relationship with the literal league of superheroes irrevocably. And this was his main cash flow right now.
So, no Desiree, no siree.
“Come up with something better then, asshole.”
Danny hummed and, since the heroes below were focused on the demon, lifted up a little and did a thoughtful back flip. What to do, what to do…?
Oh!
“My cousin!” he exclaimed.
“What cous—? Oh, Ellie.”
“Yeah, Ellie, Tuck. Which other cousins do I have?”
Tucker scoffed. “You literally have that whole Nightingale thing going on through your dad?”
Danny couldn’t help the face he made. The remaining Nightingales were worse than his parents somehow. “The Nightingales don’t count.”
“You can’t just say they don’t count.”
“I can say that, actually, and I will. They’re, like, cousins through my great-great-great-grandpa anyway.”
“Isn’t there a fight going on over there? Should you be shooting someone?”
 “Yeah, probably.”
He peaked down through the window once more. The heroes must have gotten the first demon to leave while he was talking, because the horned demon fighting them now was a truly unfortunate shade of yellow-green instead of purple. Or maybe it had transformed for some reason? They had it about as in-hand as the other one, though, so Danny definitely didn’t need to go down there. He shot the maybe-new demon in the face real quick.
“Anyway, Ellie can totally help out, she’s been practicing with changing up her looks. She’s also more, uh, malleable than me, what with her situation and all. Looking fully like Phantom shouldn’t be hard.”
Tucker hummed. “She’d try to embarrass you though.”
“Yeah, that’s a problem.” Danny spun in place. “I could bribe her?”
“With what? Her life doesn’t involve needing much cash.”
“She doesn’t get out to the Zone very much. Not many of the inhabited places, anyway. I can promise her the weird apple things Dora’s been growing with Sam’s help, she loved those.”
“If you think that’ll work…” Tucker trailed off dubiously.
Danny laughed. “She’s annoying sometimes, but she’s not gonna fuck over my job if I ask her not to. I’ll just bribe her extra hard for resisting the temptation to mock me.”
“Fair enough.” The clacking of keys resumed. “I’ve really gotta pay attention now, someone’s trying to stop me from getting into this database. Someone half-decent, actually, did they upgrade? Hm. Make sure no one died, yeah?”
“They’re alive. Bye, Tuck,” Danny said, and ended the call.
He shoved his phone back into his jacket pocket and made his way down the stairs. The fight outside he had been stationed for was basically over—Captain Marvel and Green Lantern (Danny was pretty sure he had accidentally learned the dude’s actual name at some point, but hell if he could remember)—had pulled out the magic restraints one of the other consultants had handed out.
That had probably been Constantine. Ugh. Constantine. Dude could stand to lighten up a little; skulking and smoking all the time wasn’t the base state of someone enjoyable to be around. Then again, Danny knew he annoyed the shit out of some of the league with his own attitude, so he maybe shouldn’t talk. But at least he was annoying with a smile!
Case in point: Danny grinned at the heroes. “Got it handled?”
“Suppose so,” said the Green Lantern, “though a little more help would have been nice.”
Captain Marvel was too busy getting in a minor tussle with the demon to say anything either way.
“I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I’m like, pretty mortal,” Danny said. “I’m not fucking with demons right where they can hit me. And I did shoot him!”
Green Lantern rolled his eyes, but admitted the point. Danny cheerfully flipped him off anyway.
“I’ll be heading out, then, the hellmouth this guy crawled out of is like three miles away.” Captain Marvel said, hauling the handcuffed demon over his shoulders like a very angry backpack.
“Oh, one more for the road!” 
Danny hit the demon with a final water gun shot. Hissing and scrunching their face like a cat, the demon tried to lunge at him. It wasn’t very successful. Weirdly non-verbal for a demon, who usually had to talk to make deals and steal mortal souls, but Danny wouldn’t judge. Might be a minor demon. A really basic imp? Who knew.
“Stop being a little bitch and you won’t get spray-bottled, asshole,” Danny chided.
With a loud laugh, Captain Marvel sped away.
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thesoftboiledegg · 6 months
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"Unmortricken" was a lot. In fact, it might have been a little too much.
To start, I loved the glimpse of what exists outside the Central Finite Curve. The visuals were stunning and reminded me of M.C. Escher's drawings. The Jetson-like family was a nice touch--if anything can happen, who says they can't have different animation styles? All those colorful portals make me wonder what's lurking just out of sight.
It's also funny that the space outside the Curve is full of Rick's favorite thing: crystals. If he took a trip there, he'd come back with his pockets stuffed with gemstones.
Evil Morty's reappearance gave us a decent character study. Since he wasn't the antagonist, we saw him interact with the C-137s as a regular person. Morty's a little impressed, and Rick has a grudging respect for him. Others have called Evil Morty the Rickest Morty, and I agree: similar intelligence, similar technology and similar bloodthirst.
I was glad that he left in the end because that's what his character arc is about anyway. He doesn't want to be part of anyone else's story, not even another Morty's.
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However, that's also part of the issue that I had with this episode. Seeing Evil Morty was great, but it was also a little...pointless? You could've had the same story without him. He's not working with Prime, and he has no ties to C-137 after "Rickmurai Jack," so it felt like the writers just said "Hey, you know what would be cool?"
I'm not against writers having fun and giving the audience what they want. "Spider-Man: No Way Home" (yeah, groan at me, Marvel haters) is fan service in blockbuster form, and it was one of the best theater experiences I've ever had.
Still, if Evil Morty came back, I think he should've had a separate episode. The episode juggled C-137 Rick, Morty, Evil Morty and Prime Rick pretty well, giving them satisfying interactions with each other, but no Evil Morty would've meant more relationship development for the C-137s.
Evil Morty's backstory also didn't reveal much about him. I mean--yeah, we all figured that he had an abusive Rick and got fed up. The fact that he had a "regular" Rick instead of a deranged lunatic does make a point about the banality of abuse. Monsters aren't always raving maniacs who torture people in their basements. Ordinary people can wear you down with a slow drip of toxicity and neglect.
I enjoyed this episode, and Evil Morty's return was exciting, but cramming the series' two biggest antagonists and storylines into twenty minutes was a little overwhelming. New plot developments kept showing up, too: Rick found Prime! Prime's various lairs! Omega device! I would've preferred a two-parter.
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I'll admit that if you told me that we'd see Evil Morty and Rick Prime in the same shot, I never would have believed you, but here we are.
On that note, Prime's characterization was perfect. No attempt at a cutesy, sad backstory; he's a laughing monster until the end. And is it really the end? He has regeneration abilities, but C-137 acts like he's dead and even gives up the search. This leaves us with a few options:
C-137 killed him.
Prime fooled C-137 into thinking that he's dead when he isn't.
C-137's keeping him alive for later use.
Hopefully, this is more complicated than it looks because I'll be disappointed if this is the end of Prime. He's a brilliant reflection of C-137: the Rick he'd be without his tiny shred of humanity.
And Prime's a maniac, but he tells C-137 the truth. Rick broke into Prime's house. He pretended he belonged with this group of strangers. He latched on to Prime's grandson because he never had his own. His brutal, violent streak never went away no matter how long he tried to play house.
Prime says "Admit it! You would have been me!" In season three and parts of season four, Rick was close. His love for his family--love that he pretended he didn't have--and desire for their approval just barely pulled him back. But what kept that spark alive? How close was he to becoming a cold, unfeeling shell?
In the end, C-137's not satisfied after he destroys Prime--and weirdly, I'm not satisfied, either. Beating Prime to an unrecognizable pulp doesn't bring Rick's original family back. It doesn't erase the atrocities that Rick's committed. It doesn't make his grief go away. It doesn't change the fact that Rick teetered on the edge of turning into the monster that he despised.
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What's more satisfying is that Rick didn't turn out like Prime. His Morty doesn't give two shits about Prime, but he loves him. He hugs him in relief (come on, Rick, hug him back already!), cries out "Rick? Rick!" and shakes his body when he thinks he's dead, and talks excitedly as they return home.
Rick's going to therapy, which Prime would have mocked. He went from having nobody to living with FIVE kids if you count Morty and Summer. Even he and his Jerry are pretty tight.
Rick knows this, but he still feels empty all the time. Vengeance doesn't work, drinking doesn't work...wouldn't it be easier if he just switched off his humanity and laughed at everything, even his own death?
But now that he knows how it feels to be loved, especially by his hypothetical grandson, I think he'll always find himself at the Smiths' doorstep.
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Sidenote
Pairing: Eddie Munson x fem!reader
Warnings: 18+ SMUT, oral sex (male & female recieving), fingering, piv, unprotected sex (DON'T)
Summary: When your boyfriend cheats on you, you turn to your best friend for comfort.
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Eddie had hardly heard the knock on the trailer door over the clattering rain. He was a little confused who'd be showing up here at 12:30 at night, especially in this weather.
"Y/n? What are you...?"
"Can I come in?" You interrupted him.
"Yeah, of course. Come on in."
Eddie stepped out of the doorframe to let his best friend pass. The water ran of your leather jacket, but the rest of you was entirely soaked.
"I'll go get you a towel," Eddie offered, but before he even turned around you interjected
"Ryan cheated on me."
Eddie stopped dead in his tracks.
"Ryan what now?" He fumed.
"Ryan cheated on me. With Stephanie of all people. I got to Michael's party tonight and he was fucking her in a bathroom. Real class-act."
"I'm so sorry, Y/n. He's an absolute moron, you know that, right?"
Eddie's arms engulfed you into a tight hug, his shirt getting soaked in a matter of seconds, but he didn't care.
"What can I do to cheer you up? Want to watch a gorey movie? Pretend everyone that gets dismembered is him? I don't have ice cream or any of that stereotypical break-up crap, but I've got beer."
You gave a non-committal shake of your head, so Eddie continued.
"You wanna numb the pain? You know I've got the best medicine in town." He smirked as he pulled an old joint from his front pocket.
You nodded and Eddie's eyes lit up, glad he was able to help.
"I don't want weed though," you said, clouding Eddie's face in confusion.
"Alright. Did you come here for something stronger? 'Cause I thought you didn't do that."
You shook your head.
"Okay... Then I'm confused, here. How can I help, angel?"
You caught his gaze, looking at him so intently that for a moment he stopped fidgeting and floundering for something to get you. Just long enough to make him suddenly aware you'd never stepped back from the hug, your waterlogged shirt still pressed against his chest.
"I want you to fuck me, Eddie."
Eddie's heart caught in his throat.
"You...what?"
"I want you to fuck me," you repeated.
"Why?" Eddie was having a hard time focussing. He hated to admit how much he wanted you to be serious about this.
"Because I'm hurt, and I wanna feel good. Because otherwise this is just going to be a very sad night and I don't want that. And a little because I want to hurt him. That okay?"
Instead of answering your question, Eddie asked you another one
"Why me?"
"Because I like you. Because I trust you. And because, between you and the girl's bathroom, I hear things. I know you're the best kept secret in town."
Eddie smirked at your seductive tone, he knew you weren't exactly wrong either.
"Y/n, are you sure about this? You're upset, I don't want you to do anything you'll regret in the morning. Besides I quite like being your friend."
"And you still will be. You're my best friend, Eds. There's nothing you can do that'll change that. It'll just be a sidenote in our friendship. We'll just be friends that fucked that one time."
Eddie chuckled.
"I'm here because I want this, Eds. I want you."
"Fuck, say that again."
"I want you, Eddie."
His mouth was on you before you'd finished saying his name.
You felt a wave of relieve when his body covered your own, the tension flowing right out of you.
Eddie had you pinned against the cupboards, the edges pressing into your head and upper legs, but you couldn't care less. All you could think about were Eddie's hands on you, one on the small of your back, pressing you impossibly close to him, the other wound tightly in your hair.
The kiss was rough and needy.
Eddie was kissing you like he needed your air to breathe. You gladly threw yourself into the kiss just as passionately. You wrapped your arms around his neck and one of your legs around his waist.
You needed him closer. You needed to feel every inch of him against you. Flames bloomed on your skin in every spot he touched.
Eddie's fingers slipped under your wet shirt, trailing a featherlight pattern up your sides.
You hummed at his touch.
You tugged on the bottom of your shirt, signaling to Eddie to take it off, which he wasted no time at all with. His hands trailed up your body, hiking your shirt along with them. He pushed your shirt over your head and wrapped his hand around your neck. He gave you a searing kiss before letting his lips trail down your neck. His teeth scraped against your skin, marking you up.
You threw your head back against the cupboard when Eddie nipped at your collarbone. His kisses dropping down to your cleavage. He thumbed your nipple through the fabric of your bra softly, sending a small shiver down your back.
"Can I take this off?"
You nodded. "But only if you take off yours too."
Eddie tugged his shirt over his head in one swift motion before undoing your bra. Eddie slowly slipped it off you, admiring you as he did.
"Fuck, your tits are perfect," he sighed as he took one of your nipples in his mouth.
You could feel Eddie's right hand slip down your stomach, his fingers just breaching the elastic of your panties.
"This okay?" He mumbled, his face still occupied with worshipping your nipples.
"Please don't stop," you whispered needily.
You felt Eddie's self-satisfied smirk against your skin.
"Wouldn't dream of it, sweetheart."
He slipped his fingers further down your panties, the cold of his rings giving you goosebumps. His middle finger found your clit. You let out a breathy moan as he rubbed slow circles on you.
"You're so wet already, baby. I've barely even touched you yet."
Eddie grinned smugly as he pushed a finger into you.
"Eddie!"
"Hmm that's right sweetheart, say my name."
You moaned his name again as he picked up his pace, the palm of his hand pressed against your clit.
Eddie was a wonderful multitasker. His mouth had restarted its assault on your neck and his left thumb was still stimulating your nipples as he added a second finger to your pussy.
Your entire body was electrically charged. You knew you weren't going to be able to hold out for long.
Eddie's pace was brutal, but it still wasn't enough. You nudged Eddie's cheek with your nose, his eyes locking on yours, following them as they travelled down to where his hand disappeared in your underwear.
"More. Please," you moaned lowly.
This time you caught Eddie's wicked grin.
"You want more, baby?" He teased.
You nodded desperately, not even pretending like you wouldn't absolutely beg for him if he made you.
"Ask me nicely."
Your whole body seemed to whine. "Please, Eddie. Please give me another finger. Please."
It should have been embarrassing how quickly he had you begging for him, but it turned Eddie on to no end.
Effortlessly, he pushed a third finger into you, relishing in the sound that escaped your throat.
"You like that, baby?" Eddie whispered in your ear. "You like it when I stretch you out."
You nodded feverishly. "Yes, Eddie."
Eddie licked his lips, his tongue brushing the edge of your earlobe.
"Well then you're gonna love what I've got in store for you later."
The bottom of your stomach nearly dropped out at the thought.
Eddie nipped your earlobe unexpectedly and you yelped.
"Are you close, sweetheart?"
Eddie sensed the slight clenching around his fingers, the increased rhythm in your panting.
You nodded.
"You want to cum for me?"
Another nod.
"Good girl" he cooed. I
f you weren't sitting down your knees would have given out for sure.
" 's okay, baby. You can cum for me soon."
The glint in his eyes would have been a warning if you hadn't been so close to the brink of euphoria.
Without a word, Eddie hooked your left leg over his shoulder. A scream ripped through your throat as Eddie's fingers shifted deeper inside of you. You were stretched around him so good, it felt like he was splitting you open.
"That's it, Y/n. You can cum for me now on one condition, baby. Scream for me." Eddie whispered in your ear as you finally let go.
You dug your nails into the kitchen counter as well as Eddie's shoulder as your orgasm burst through you. You screamed out Eddie's name followed by a string of profanities as you pulsed around Eddie's fingers, which were still buried deeply inside of you. He held them firmly in place until you had ridden out your orgasm.
You leaned against the cupboards, a heaving mess when he pulled his hand away.
He held your eyes as he pushed one of his fingers past his lips, sucking it clean before doing the same with another one.
With a smirk and a quirked eyebrow he held his middle finger out to you, watching in awe as you painstakingly leaned forward and sucked his finger all the way into your mouth with ease.
Your tongue swirled around his finger, licking up your own juices before you popped your mouth off of his hand.
"Jesus Christ, you're so hot." Eddie smiled like a fox in a henhouse. "You ready for round two, angel?"
Your eyes widened, but before you could answer Eddie swept you off the counter and carried you through the trailer. He tossed you on the bed, watching you bounce slightly before settling into his mattress.
"Hey, Eds?"
"Yeah, sweetheart?"
"Cuff me."
Eddie licked his lips. "The cuffs? Really?"
You nodded gingerly, "Yeah, I always thought that sounded really hot."
"My, my, Y/n... never would've guessed you were a freak like me."
Eddie grabbed the handcuffs from their hook on the wall and ran the chain past one of the radiator pipes.
"Hold out your hands."
He clicked the cuffs shut around your outstretched wrists. The cuffs had a pretty long chain, but they did link your wrists pretty close together.
Eddie took your hand and pushed your arms up over your head, his body pressing down on yours.
"Remember, Y/n," he whispered in your ear, "I can take these off whenever you want."
You smiled as Eddie kissed down your body again, teasing every inch of you until he reached the hem of your jeans. He slowly undid the button and pulled down the zipper.
He snapped the waistband of your underwear softly. "Can I take these off?"
You chuckled softly "Hurry up already, would you?"
"Oh you're gonna regret that, sweetheart, believe you me..."
Eddie grinned as he eased you out of your clothes. He pushed your legs up as he settled between your thighs. He trailed kisses along the insides of your thighs, moving closer and closer to your entrance until you were squirming with anticipation.
"You're a needy little thing, aren't you?"
"Eddie..." You whined.
"It's alright, angel, it's alright. I'm right here."
Eddie's tongue licked over your sensitive folds. It wasn't long before he had your back arching of the mattress, his tongue delving into you expertly.
Your fingers tugged on Eddie's curls as he brought you to the brink off another orgasm. You could feel the pressure building in your stomach, more intense than your previous orgasm.
"I'm so close Eddie," you moaned out. "Fuck, you're gonna make me cum so hard, please don't stop."
Eddie loved to hear you talk, lived for the sounds he could wrangle from you.
You felt the dam burst inside of you as Eddie pushed you over the edge. Your thighs clenched around his head as you screamed out his name once again.
Eddie watched you as you came down from your second high of the night. Your eyes were clenched shut, your head thrown back as your body convulsed.
He studied you as you panted and heaved. But most of all, he committed to memory the absolutely blissful smile on your lips.
"Holy shit, I can't wait to fuck you. You are just the most gorgeous thing I've ever seen."
"Nobody's stopping you, Munson," you were still breathing heavily, your legs trembling softly.
Eddie smiled a Cheshire cat smile.
"You sure you can handle it, sweetheart?"
His voice was sugary sweet.
You knew exactly what he wanted from you.
"You want me to beg for you, Eds? Want to hear me say how badly I want to feel you inside of me?"
"Look who's suddenly got a big mouth. You didn't sound so tough when I was making you cum, darling. That's alright, angel, I'll make you beg for it, no worries."
Eddie circled your sensitive clit, the overstimulation making you hold back a moan. He sofltly grazed your thigh as he picked up his speed. No matter how you tried, you couldn't hold back a yelp.
" 's Too much Eds," you gulped.
"You sure about that, angel? Really can't take anymore?"
You wanted to, so badly, but the pressure was too much...
So you said the only thing you could think of.
"How about you give my big mouth something to do first?"
Eddie genuinely laughed.
"You really are an angel, huh? Alright, sweetheart. Let's put that mouth to good use."
Eddie slowly removed his pants before moving over you. He leaned in for a soft kiss.
"You sure about this, Y/n?" He whispered in your ear.
"I wanna know what you taste like, Eds."
Eddie nearly died.
You moved your cuffed hands forward and held them out to Eddie's face. He raised an eyebrow at you and was met with an expectant look. He grinned before he spit in your hands.
"We should've done this a long time ago..."
Your hands wrapped around his cock, spreading his spit along his length. You moved your hands along him, revelling in the sounds he made, before pushing yourself up slightly and wrapping your lips around his head. You moved along his length, taking more of him into your mouth with each movement.
Eddie was trying not to move his hips into you, you could feel him straining against you. You pulled your mouth off him with a pop.
"You want to fuck my mouth, Eds?" You asked innocently. "All you gotta do is ask."
"You are so incredibly hot, Y/n." Eddie's voice was hoarse. "Would you do me the incredible honour of letting me fuck your mouth, angel?"
You nodded eagerly and licked down the underside of Eddie's cock before sucking him back down, agonizingly slowly.
"Sweet jesus, Y/n, you feel so good," Eddie groaned.
He slowly pushed his hips forward, you hollowed your cheeks and swirled your tongue around him. Eddie was rolling his hips into you, one hand tangled in your hair, the other holding himself up against the wall.
He looked at you adoringly while you stared up at him. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, Y/n. You look fucking fantastic in between my legs."
His hips moved faster, jerking almost out of his control. "Fuck, angel, I need to fuck you so badly, and I can't do that if I keep doing this."
You increased your pressure for just a second before popping off of him.
"Fuck," Eddie groaned. He was on top of you in a second.
"You want me to fuck you, Y/n? Because lord Jesus, I don't think I've ever wanted to fuck anybody so badly."
"Fuck, Eddie, I need you inside of me, please, baby, I want to feel you."
Eddie moaned as he slipped into you. He snapped his hips up into you as you cried out his name.
"Fuck, Eddie, yes," you moaned.
Eddie was stretching you out so well, you could feel him everywhere.
"Harder, please," you begged.
Eddie moaned out your name as he pounded into you faster. You wrapped your cuffed arms around him, straining against the restrictions.
Eddie pressed needy, sloppy kisses against your neck. You moaned out his name over and over again.
"Fuck, angel, I'm so close," he sighed.
"Me too, Edds. You're so good. Feel so fucking good, baby."
Eddie groaned as he pushed your leg up between you. You cried as he hit deeper inside of you. Eddie snaked his hand between you and started rubbing circles on your clit.
You screamed out his name as your orgasm took over you. Your nails dug into his back. You thought you might pass out. Eddie let you ride out your orgasm as he kept circling your clit. It was too much. Too good.
Eddie came with your name on his lips. He was stunning, pure bliss washing over his face.
He leaned down, still buried deep inside of you, and kissed you, slowly, tentatively. "You're incredible, angel."
"Best kept secret in town," you whispered back at him.
Eddie pulled out and undid the handcuffs. You both got cleaned up and dressed again.
You kissed him softly. "Thanks, Eddie."
"The pleasure was all mine, fair maiden. How you feeling?"
"Like you turned the worst night of my life into the best. He never made me feel like that."
Eddie shrugged. "You were too good for him anyways."
"You mind if I stay the night?"
"Mi trailer es su trailer."
You hopped back onto the bed, thumbing through the dvd's on the floor in search of something that was both gorey and funny.
Eddie dropped down next to you.
"So, this whole sidenote-thing, you sure you meant a sidenote and not, let's say, sidenotes, plural?"
You turned to him, grinning.
"I think we've got room for a few more."
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lees-chaotic-brain · 8 months
Text
Should've (Gojo x Reader)
Your heart stops.
CW: Injury, mentions of death, angst, probably not medically accurate, reader has female pronouns
Part Two | JJK Masterlist | Blog Navigation
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It had been days. Three days exactly. Three days since you took that life threatening blow. Three days since you had opened your eyes.
Gojo sat beside your bed, watching you sleep.
"Sweetheart?"
No response.
"Please, if you can hear me, just move your hand. Just a little bit."
Still no response.
"Shoko says you can hear me, so stop pretending you can't."
You still didn't move.
"Come on. This isn't funny anymore. Let's just go home and cuddle. Please-"
His voice cracks and he swallows a sob.
"I love you so much. Please come back to me. I can't- I can't lose you too."
"You should get some rest."
Shoko leaned against the door, looking pointedly at Gojo.
"Sitting there isn't going to make her wake up faster. Plus, she would hate it if she could see how stupid you were acting. You've barely eaten, and I know you haven't slept this entire time. Go home and take a shower. Eat something. I promise I'll keep an eye on her until you get back."
"What if she wakes up and I'm not here?"
"Then I'll text you immediately and you can teleport over."
"Fine."
Begrudgingly he stood and planted a gentle kiss on your forehead.
"Don't worry sweetheart. I'll be right back."
Making his way to the door, he shot Shoko one last look before teleporting away.
"Please let me know if anything happens."
"Of course."
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Gojo was just finishing drying off his hair when his phone rang. Lunging for it, he picked it up eagerly.
"Shoko! Is she awake? Can I come see her? How-"
"Satoru."
It was Nanami, and the way he said his first name instantly made Gojo's stomach drop.
"Shoko told me to call you...I think you should come right away. Just...try to stay in control. Everything is going to be okay-"
Gojo had already teleported into your hospital room.
A loud beeping was the first thing he noticed.
The second was Shoko, kneeling on the bed next to you as she continuously pumped your exposed chest with her interlocked hands.
Was she performing...CPR? But that was only necessary if-
His world collapsed around him. Right there, on your heart monitor, was one long, flat, line.
He stood there numb, even as someone pushed past him and handed Shoko the defibrillator. He watched silently as Shoko placed the paddles on your chest.
Tears streamed down his face as Shoko checked for a pulse, then continued CPR as she waited for the defibrillator to recharge.
He didn't even fight as Nanami gently led him from the room, murmuring that he didn't need to see that. That everything was going to be okay. That you were a fighter.
Slumping against the wall, Gojo slid to a sitting position.
What if you didn't make it? How was he supposed to survive without you? Why is he the strongest, if he can't even protect you, the one thing he can't live without?
He should have told you he loved you more. He should have pampered you more, let you have the last piece of mochi instead of stuffing it in his face before you could get to it. He should have held you tighter, never let you out of his grasp. He should've been there, to protect you. He should've kept all his promises. He should've-
"Satoru?"
It was Shoko, frazzled and exhausted, but relieved.
"She's stable."
─── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ⋅ ⋅ ───
Thanks for reading!! My request box is open if anyone has any!!
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