#so glad we got an happy ending because i wouldn't be able to survive
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Thoughts on ep 5?
This was pry my least favorite episode so far. I’ve never cared for Gabriel so his and Jadis’ scenes bored me. The 3 new people they introduced were killed off so quickly… and badly? Idk it’s like 10 years into the apocalypse and known of them seemed to know how to survive, it felt stupid. They were literally just there to show how Rick and Michonne worked together.
Also I was surprised that Jadis ended up helping them in the end, she could have just died and got the last laugh that they didn’t know where the file was.
Honestly, I would say I loved it if not for all the Gabriel/Jadis scenes. That really brought it down for me. The entire time they were on I was fighting the urge not to skip ahead. But I guess I'm glad I didn't because I would have missed hearing that Rick wanted to marry Michonne on the bridge!!! Absolutely insane. Absolutely BONKERS.
But with that being said, I loved the rest of the episode so much. It really gave The Next World and Say Yes vibes which are two of my favorite episodes ever! Seeing Rick and Michonne on their honeymoon is just soooooo 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰
Rick trying to get that "junior" license plate for RJ just melted my heart. He loves that baby already and he hasn't even met him. Father of all time me thinks! And then Rick gifting Michonne her favorite toothpaste because he remembers and cherishes every little thing about her. When I say the line "I was in love with my son's best friend" sent me into orbit..... it sent me into ORBIT. I was crying my eyes out. And then when he gave her the replacement "m" necklace. Oh Rick Grimes, how I love you. I love seeing them getting to be happy and love on each other as hard as they can. Wish we could have saw their drunk freaky cabin sex where they most definitely probably tied each other up 😉 it looked a little too natural when they tied themselves up for Jadis.
It was so pleasurable for me seeing Jadis die slowly, brutally, and painfully. Everyone say thank you, Michonne! Rick telling Michonne "maybe just maim her first" had me chuckling! He's so funny. I guess Red and his siblings really were pointless? Why did Jadis think Rick and Michonne wouldn't be able to easily take out those randos? But seeing Jadis FINALLY die felt so satisfying!! I'm glad she suffered. And I'm glad Michonne didn't give her any peace as she died. She let her know the CRM will be getting what's coming to them 🥳🥳🥳
And last but not least my favorite part of the episode. You already know what it is. Rick fucking proposing to Michonne!!!
8 fucking years and we FINALLY got a proposal. I mean it's weird how most of the other couples got that chance but not the lead couple? It's weird. But I'm so glad to see it happening now. Vindication has never felt so good.
And this was only the proposal! Meaning we got a wedding coming up.
And I love this proposal so much. It's not lengthy or over the top and you really feel the few words Rick and Michonne say to each other. They carry a lot of meaning. I'm just so beyond happy!!!
But in conclusion, I do understand why this isn't people's favorite episode. I don't dislike it as much as anyone else but it's not my favorite either. I think my ranking would be episode 4, episode 1, episode 2, episode 5, episode 3. I loved that we got a little lightheartedness before shit hits the fan in the finale!
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Funny fic idea:
Some RSA prince has a crush on the reader/MC. Being a princeTM, he automatically assumes its a damsel in distress situation. He notices they spend a lot of time at Scarabia and once again assumes that his beloved must be dating that horrible villain Kalim. After all, if he's at NRC he must be evil no matter how good his hospitality skills are. Cue him going to confront Kalim in a contest for the reader's hand in marriage.
Cut to Kalim, post-chapter 4, and no longer as oblivious. He's confused at the open hostility but quickly puts it together. Kalim is about to explain that the so-called damsel is dating Jamil but he stops himself. If he corrects him, then he's just gonna go harass Jamil and he can't have that. So Kalim jokingly accepts the challenge, neither confirming nor denying his relationship with the reader. He sends Jamil off with a list of errands to keep him out of Scarabia (said "errands" include hug your beloved, kiss your dearest, cuddle them, etc).
To combat this threat, Kalim connects with his inner Scarabia student and unlocks his full powers as a professional nuiscence. You see, all NRC students have to pick up certain skills to survive in their respective dorms. Ever since the overblot, Kalim has been perfecting the Scarabian art of fire starting and then acting surprised when shit blows up.
Cue Kalim dragging the RSA prince in a wild goose chase all over NRC while constantly bombarding him with a much more aggressive form of Scarabian hospitality and dialing his energy levels from 10 to 20.
The rest of the dorm and even the school is joining in because 1.Fuck RSA 2.It's the only time the teachers would let them get away with it. Also for Scarabia, their port-CH4 motto is "Happy Jamil, happy Scarabia" (just because their dorm mates doesn't mean they're spared from a good roasting).
Meanwhile, Jamil spends a nice time with his beloved and silently thanking Kalim for the day off. Grim is being babysat by ADeuce, so maybe they finally got enough time for netflix and chill, who knows?
I'm starting to feel like I really should spend more time thinking about Kalim's personality and reading his stories so I could give some proper thoughts to these - I'm really not so confident when it comes to my understanding of him (another reason why Kalim is more of a background character in my fics so far).
Like yes he's the sweet sunshine boy but all these characters are too multidimensional for just the surface reading to be all there is.
I do absolutely love this idea, tho. I don't even know how deliberate Kalim would need to be about this. Like, I could also see him going in with good intentions and not much else, yet his earnestness and enthusiasm being enough to carry him through in the end.
Plus I can totally see Kalim throwing himself in harm's way for Jamil. How appreciated that would be… well, that’s another thing altogether, isn’t it? And like, whether Jamil would be able to actually chill, knowing all this is going on… Well, that'd require a lot of unlearning of old habits for him, I wouldn't hold my breath. But hey, I'm sure we can help him relax a bit.
I do also wonder how Jamil would feel about being pushed aside in this situation. Would he feel glad not having to deal with it? I suppose, since it's Kalim doing it, Jamil wouldn't at least take it as so much of a slight for Jamil's ability to handle the situation. Like, say what you will about these two, but I'm sure Jamil knows just how highly Kalim regards Jamil's abilities.
It would be such chaos, tho, and the whole NRC would absolutely be all over it. Some to help you out, some for Jamil or Kalim’s sake, most just for the chance to stick it up for this pompous RSA prince.
And in the end RSA prince comes to the conclusion that Kalim is actually as sweet as he looks and actually maybe Kalim is the one who needs to be saved from NRC (and might be a most eligible match, too).
Cue Jamil's mixed feelings of a) possibility of respite from Kalim but b) not being able to just let him get “kidnapped” without consequences.
Also that line of “Scarabian art of fire starting and then acting surprised when shit blows up”... If that ain’t Jamil in book 4 to a T. Wonderfully put.
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My Demon Finale + Final Thoughts
Ok My Demon was cute. I really appreciated that the last episode was mostly all wrapping things up. We got resolution on every character, each completed their arc or did what was natural for them.
We had just the right amount of angst for this story - the villains were scary, but not enough to turn this into more of a thriller than a romance, or to detract too much from the ultimately happy ending. Sure they were nice and twisted and messed up, following the well formulated pattern. I don't need anything more.
And I really did love the 'good guy' characters in this show - I never felt like any side was getting too much attention at the cost of another or of the story.
For like the first half of this show I thought her not-cousin (you know the smart one/second male lead) was gonna turn out to be evil. Like I was convinced that psycho-dad was just a distraction. I'm really happy I was wrong. Also thrilled to see him become absolute besties with Gu-won. In fact I am more thrilled than Gu-won is.
Similarly happy for sword-dance girl, who kept saying she was leaving to the point I was like 'then why haven't you?' and then when she's about to, she finds a reason (a real reason) to stay. I feel like she and psycho-dad's wife will do a lot of good for children in the future.
Seeing the son before his dad could completely destroy him was a somewhat formulaic choice, but it's a formula for a reason, and I did really feel for him. Even before that, I had hoped he would survive. everything and be able to heal. The writing/acting choices for his character were good in that, in most of his interactions with Do Do-He, I felt like something non-villainous was behind the curtain - even before the abuse was revealed. I couldn't tell if he liked her or was trying to warn her or was looking for her to save him, but I appreciated that the reveal that he wasn't the villain actually had some foundation. I'm glad he was posthumously cleared and that his mom will hopefully learn from this shit to help others.
Eunni with her two sons continue to be ridiculous, but harmless as always. A nice bow-tie comedic moment. Sure she was one of the 'bad guys' but they're always there, and considering the rest of her family, she honestly was the most normal. And I think the narrative did try to show that she was at least a good mom.
Ms. Shin and the past lives/aka Fuck You guy! They are so weird for each other and I love that for them. Not me though. Did not need more of their makeouts. I freaking loved Ms. Shin throughout everything though. Such a good balance of no-nonsense with compassion.
Our comedic relief third wheels - the PR trio and the dogs/parsnips - both fun. The ex-mob brows definitely won for me (they did have a dog). Every time Gu-won wouldn't acknowledge them my heart broke a little. Glad the writers understood that and gave us their happy ending.
I liked this portrayal of God. Very 'I don't know what the fuck is going on either but good luck' with a side of compassion rather than just dropping riddles and life lessons (those were learned along the way anyway). Felt more realistic.
And for the main couple, I'm happy we got to see their version of a silly fight, because couples fight, and that makes me believe their happy ending more (also so thankful to have a show with a demon main character have his love interest play hymns and prayers when they're arguing).
I really thought when Gu-won came back, he'd be human, and it'd be all 'perfect.' But I kind of love that he's a demon and the little-shitness of his character as a demon (yet is afraid of pissing off his wife who puts stickers on his demon manual). Also good for Do Do-hee having a demon on speed dial is useful af.
Anyway, they established that she'd continue to age and eventually die, and that it was ok because impermanence is what makes this, and every moment, so not insignificant. I felt like he would happily accompany her beyond when the time comes, but for the time being they're able to live knowing every second matters, the good and the bad, and be happy to have them.
A sweet show with a sweet ending; just what I needed tonight.
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LL COOL J is stepping back into the NCIS universe — only this time, he's swapping big city energy for sand and surf!
In an exclusive conversation with PEOPLE ahead of his debut on NCIS: Hawai'i, the rapper, 56 opens about his return to the franchise and the "good energy" and "good vibes" he felt.
"It felt fun to me," he says, before adding how reprising his role as NCIS: LA's Sam Hanna "in a new scenario" was a great time. "It just felt right to me. It felt like, 'You know what? Let's have some fun. Let's do this.'"
LL COOL J notes that his tenure on the Los Angeles-based spinoff series concluded in a way that was "open-ended" and shares how his stint in Hawai'i will allow viewers to delve deeper into Sam's story.
"The story definitely wasn't over at all, that's for sure," he explains. "We're finding out more about Sam, but remember, this is a different thing because Sam was transferred here."
Though he doesn't know "how long Sam is going to be here" and how many episodes fans can expect to see him in this season, the "Doin' It" artist shares he's taking things "one step at a time."
"I'm in the dark as much as the audience. We're just having fun with it," he laughs.
The Grammy award-winning artist also reveals that his "chemistry" with series lead, Vanessa Lachey, was a "good vibe."
"I think it's good energy," he says of Lachey, 43. "She's a lot of fun. I'm really happy for her, happy for the success that she's enjoying with the show, and I look forward to making my contribution in the episodes that I appear and just hopefully making the show that much more enjoyable."
Reflecting on NCIS' "amazing" upcoming 1000 episode milestone in April, LL COOL J acknowledges how "good" it feels to have contributed to the feat.
"I think that that's an amazing milestone. I'm so glad that I'm able to be part of something so special and unique in history, one of the longest running franchises in television history," he says. "It feels amazing. So I look forward to seeing how people respond when they finally get a chance to see what we do this year, or with this episode."
In terms of the show's longevity, LL COOL J credits "the humor, the banter [and] the action" the franchise is known for for its ability to endure over the years.
Noting how the show wouldn't have been able to survive without the dedication of its viewers, he says that only fans will know the secret to its success.
"Ultimately, the fans got to answer that question. They can answer that question better than I can, but they know why they're turning it on to watch," he says.
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i haven't posted in a while & don't have much of an update, except to say that i was genuinely, strongly considering if i should wash Mischa - his anxiety in public spaces* isn't any better, though we also haven't done as much actual training as we should have (when we go someone, e.g. the supermarket, we're there to shop, not to train. but i really gotta make time to go there for training as well!). but he always surprises me - even though he's clearly not happy to be there, he's extraordinarily well behaved (except sometimes for some leash pulling...), and always does really well.
we've finally joined our local dog training club (now that we've moved and have access to one), we had our first session last week. we haven't been to a dog training class since puppy school, so i expected Mischa to be distracted and a pain, but he was so focused and did so well! the last ~5 minutes he was getting a bit antsy, but i'd run out of treats lol. and normally when we go to the dog park (where training is), it's to play and run around with other dogs, not to sit quietly and learn for 45 minutes. so i was very impressed!
(the training class is definitely too easy for us - sit, stay down, etc. - but i wanted to start with things we already know because its such a different environment than we're used to. i'm glad we did, i think we'd be ready to move up to the next class (Good Citizen) soon, but i think it's best to ease into it).
all that is to say, i'm more confident now that, with the exception of his anxiety, there's no real reason to wash. not at this stage, anyway. i'm moving interstate next year to go to uni, and i really, really want to be able to bring Misch with me. i just stayed for 2 weeks interstate for surgery, and i left Mischa with my dad because i knew i wouldn't be able to exercise him, and it was really hard! by the end of the 2 weeks i kept dreaming that when i got home he didn't recognise me anymore 😭. so if 2 weeks is that hard, i don't want to try 5 years!
*when i say 'public spaces' i mean things like shops, indoor malls, etc., not just out on the street or whatever. he's shy and doesn't like strangers, so i think a big part of that is the overwhelming, lots of people environment. (i get it, it makes me anxious too lol). but that said, he also doesn't like being in shops when we're the only people there - just the other day we went to a pet shop, we were the only customers, and all we did was walk around sniffing things and rewarding, but Misch was still very glad to leave.
my only solution i can think of is to keep training, gradual desensitisation, short visits only. but that's hard when you have limited energy - choosing between going to the shop for 10 minutes to train, therefore helping both Mischa and I for the long run, but feeling like i've "wasted" a trip (and energy) by not going shopping. or, going to the shop to do actual shopping, helping myself in the short term (by being able to eat lol), but overwhelming Mischa and using up all my energy for the day. i know that the long term solution is the better one, because it means eventually we can go to the shop to actually shop, and Mischa won't be overwhelmed because we did all this training. but the short term solution is also a necessity - i need to buy food to survive lol. (most of the time, i just leave Mischa in the car when I shop. we're not at a point where I can manage shopping (overwhelming and exhausting for me) and training a nervous dog at the same time). (i remember someone saying once that an ADiT becomes an AD when they're no longer a hindrance, but a help. at this stage, Mischa is still a hindrance!).
no one really talks about the struggles of training a dog when you're disabled, even though that's the whole reason why we have assistance animals!
#dogpost#described#service dog in training#assistance dog in training#assistance dog#maremma#white swiss shepherd#maremma sheepdog#service dog#berger blanc swisse#also my car (with mischas vest & leash in it) was stolen. thankfully most of my dog stuff was in the house but some of the important stuff#- (like his vest! and the expensive leash with the handle that i need bc of my grip issues!) was in it. and we found the car but theyd -#- thrown away all the stuff inside it. like even the rearview mirror and the first aid kit and literally everything. and we couldnt rescue#- the car anyway so its probably a burn out husk by now lol... i was more upset about loosing the stuff inside the car than the car itself!#so now we dont have an AD vest anymore. i have a dog backpack (ruffwear's approach pack) that i want to use as his 'vest' but i need to -#- get patches for it so it identifies him as an AD. only ever had 1 access issue (before i got the vest) but i like the security AD -#- identification gives us. esp. because we arent with an organisation or anything.
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Decay |Bangchan|
Part 1
I looked up at the sky thinking about what to do next. The only things I have are a single protein bar, my keys, and my wallet. I don't have anything to keep me alive. Everything is gone and I'm not going into the shit show city that once was my home. I finally stood up looking around walking to an urban area nearby to see if I can get any help. My car was gone so I was forced to walk. A disease that makes people eat other people sounds bizarre but unfortunately true. If you would've told me that yesterday I would have said you were crazy but here I am walking in my work clothes to find somewhere to stay. I was silent not wanting to draw attention to myself. It took me a half hour to walk to the neighborhood but I successfully made it without a problem. I walked further down the street before being pulled inside a house. I kicked around and was about to shout until the person started talking.
"Don't shout you'll draw attention and get me killed" A voice said his voice wasn't low but more on the higher side. Once he closed the door I bit his thumb which made him yelp in pain and let go of me.
"Ow that hurt" The boy whined holding his thumb. "Why'd you do that"
"Are you serious?" I scoffed looking at him in disbelief. "You kidnaped me"
"Correction saved you," He said looking at his thumb which was slightly bleeding. "If you went any closer you probably would have died."
"Excuse you?"
"Listen there are a bunch of dead guys ahead and I don't think you have the weapons to be fighting"
"Oh really?" I said crossing my arms. "What makes you say that?"
"It's pretty evident, if you were planning on using one of your keys it wouldn't work, it's not sharp or big enough"
"And how would you know? It's barely been a day since this started"
"It only takes one," He said changing the subject. "Let's start as if you didn't try and bite my thumb off."
"Okay?"
"I'm Seungmin," He said holding out his hand.
"Y/n," I said shaking it.
"We should pair up," He said crossing his arms.
"What do you mean?"
"Like survive together" He smiled. "I want to be friends and stick together."
"You know what sure I have nowhere to go and no one left."
"Well you won't lose me," He said.
"But I don't know you," I said relaxing a bit.
"We can go talk in the living room? We can talk about ourselves so we can trust each other"
"That sounds like a good idea," I said slowly as we walked into the living room. "So how exactly did you know that there were things down the street?"
"Well I live down there but I had to leave my house because they tried getting in." He said. "This house belonged to my now-dead neighbor so I'm staying here"
"I'm sorry about your house," I said.
"It's whatever I'm glad I was able to grab the things I needed and leave."
"How did you leave?"
"I hopped the fence and ended up here" He leaned back on the couch. "Where are you coming from?"
"The city, I managed to run out before my apartment got blown up."
"I'm sorry about your house then, at least mine is still intact." He said.
"I just don't understand anything."
"Me neither, I'm just going off of what my neighbor said to me before he died." He sighed. "Attack the brain, don't get bit"
"Is that the neighbor who?.."
"Yeah he said to come here, he was an older guy and told me he was happy to save a life over his even though I told him no" He looked down. "That's why I'm here"
"I'm so sorry"
"It's okay really, I have a survival buddy now so I won't have to fight alone" He looked at me smiling.
"Yeah neither of us will have to fight on our own." I smiled.
He smiled back as we chatted the rest of the night getting to know each other.
"I'll take the first watch," Seungmin said smiling. "Get some rest you look like you need it."
"I do actually" I chuckled. "I haven't gotten any for two months."
"Why?"
"I work in a classified scientific laboratory and we were working on a special case that to this day hasn't been finished."
"Well once this is over you can"
"Yeah I guess you're right" I smiled laying on the pullout couch. "Good night"
"Good night"
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Well here's chapter 2 I hope you like it! And remember ✨ you are perfect and worth it the way you are! ✨
#Bangchan#bang chris#bangchan x reader#bangchan x y/n#christopher bang#bangchan x you#han stray kids#stray kids x reader#hwang hyunjin#hyunjin#lee minho#minho#lee know#changbin#kim seungmim#seungmin#i.n#i.n skz#stray kids#bangchan stray kids#lee felix#stray kids felix#zombie#apocalypse
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AAAAH WAIT IT'S THE FALL FINALE?? For some reason I did not realize that XDD Makes sense though lol
Well that's gonna be crazy lol
Ooh yeah Bobby's definitely investigating that o.o not that I expected he wouldn't but aaaahh looks like it's gonna be intense >:D
Lol xD anyway that's a bunch of short clips but it looks like it'll be wild :))
And AHHHHH a 9-1-1 Lone Star promo!!! I saw one during one of the commercial breaks earlier that had some different stuff so I'll make a separate post for the few things I caught in there with one rewatch of the one I saw during commercials as I searched up this promo to see if there was anything I was missing lol since it went so quick.
So yeah! That's the last of my last thoughts. Looks like it'll be super intense! Now time for the. . .
REVIEW
I LOOOVED this episode. I thought it was great! A dip back into the old commentary, some angst but also a bunch of laughs lol, and my lovelies being family :DD. Plus we got Joshhhh, always love to see my boy :D. And overall just some really cool calls and such!
First off, congrats(-ish? lol) to Buuuck, it finally happened lol xD :D. Took a while but we got here xD. Anyway, I'm happy for his friends :)). And I'm glad that he finally got some (good) sleep lol, after he started being unable to as well XD. Hilarious, love my boy lol <3.
Eddie! Not much to say for him, though that scene with Bobby after the fire was really great. But we DIDN'T GET THE SHOT XDDD. The cross shot from the promos!! Rude lol. Anyway, him playing video games was great, and I'm glad he finally got some sleep xD.
(Chris: . . . you didn't sleep did you
Eddie: eat your breakfast)
(wait wait wait it's like the babygirl meme - I'll make it in a second lol because I won't finish this before tgd since I wanna finish last week's tgd review lol)
Hen, plus Karen and Denny! Very important storyline, but clearly it doesn't end here. I'm glad they were so supportive of him wanting to know and stuff, it was really nice to see :). But I'm glad Hen admitted to her emotions about it <3. Like, just because they know it's about Denny doesn't mean they can't have feelings lol! But if Denny did go to visit his bio dad in secret, I'm curious as to how that'll continue 👀👀. Welp, we'll see! Anyway, THEY'RE ADORABLE AND THEY'RE FAMILY AND I LOVE THEM <333 😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰.
Also yeah Eddie openly saying "moms" got me okay 😭😭 I don't know why (that's a lie, I do, it's because it's amazing to see on tv :'D)
Poor Josh this episode xDD. I was wondering why they were looking shifty but I couldn't think of a reason (like thinking he was up to something or had a new relationship or something didn't make sense, them scheming to stop him sleeping or something didn't make sense, although it turns out they were scheming XD). I've gotta admit though it was a hilarious plotline lol, I loved it xD. Plus I just liked seeing my boy :D. Anyway, it was great xD.
Madney!!!! AHHHHH!!! They bought a house :DDDD. I mean sure, it's known as the murder house, but it's not ACTUALLY lol. Plus I'm sure that and eit cheaper :D xD. Besides the fact that it needs to much work. I'm sure we'll see the renovation process, and I'm looking forward to it!! I'm so excited and happy for them, ahhhhh (small aaaah scream not awhhh) :))) 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰. THEM <33!
Now, onto Bobby. I feel so and for him D:. I wish his friend had survived, I was really hoping he'd be able to get through whatever he was going through, but alas :'(. And I liked that conversation Athena had with him :'). It was a nice callback, and of course I love my babeys <33. Plus I just like seeing anyone being supportive of their loved ones :)). Idk, it's just nice 🥰🥰❤️. I'm VERY interested in Bobby stopping at nothing to get answers though, it seems like it'll be super intense but I great storyline 👀👀. Not that the intensity is bad! Anyway, as long as it isn't too short or isn't drawn out too long, I think it has real potential :D. Plus, it's always wild (and a privilege lol) to just see Bobby go ham xD. Batcrap, I'll say, since I don't cuss lol. It's gonna be great >:).
Overall, I really loved this episode! I thought it was great, it had a suitably creepy atmosphere, and I thought the insomnia theme was really interesting! It left space open for moments we wouldn't normally see, which I loved :D. And the calls, plus all the family feels, and some angst? Perfect episode, in my opinion /hj <3. It was just great 🥰🥰. Between all the storylines, and the little moments, it was an awesome episode.
So yeah! I enjoyed this episode so much. It had a bunch of great parts, and I don't really have any complaints. I'm excited to see where the stories go next! This has been my review of. . .
9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 9: Red Flag
What a great fall finale! I know we'll have to wait a while for the next episode, but I'm still interested in what's gonna happen next. I'm definitely invested! I'll be back here then for my review of. . .
9-1-1, Season 6, Episode 10: In A Flash
See you then!
#9-1-1#911#9-1-1 on fox#911 on fox#9-1-1onfox#911onfox#gayfirefightershow#oasis's 9-1-1 chatter#such a great episode imo!!!#loved it :DD#anyway yeah turns out I did get this completed now lol!!#hopefully I can still get my tgd review from last week finished up in time xDD whoops lol#anyway yeah :)) bye guys!!!#love y'all <3333 🤗!!
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I did not get enough sleep. And that made today hard. But the reason I did not get enough sleep is so stupid it's incredible.
Last night I kept helping with the scavenger hunt and that was a lot of fun. Everyone said they would bring my stuff back. But right now only a few have. So that's a little annoying. But I'm sure it'll be fine.
I was slightly annoyed with myself for lending my water bottle but they would actually come back soon after I finished my post so I was happy about that. But no one else came back so I was just like. Ah well. Maybe tomorrow. So I closed my door. Brushed my teeth and everything. I did have a little snack but I mostly worked on set. I finished my embroidery. I did some painting. It was a nice night.
I was a little frustrated by moths hitting me in the face. But overall I was cozy and thing were good.
I was starting to doze off and things were fine. But then I heard one of the Greek camp golf carts. They drive way to fast and have been fast and loud all week. But they stopped outside my building and then all of a sudden they are trying to come inside?? Violently shaking the doorknob. Trying to shine flashlights in the windows. I'm really glad I put curtains up. But I was very freaked out. They went to the other side of the building and shook the other handle. Everything was locked but I was very freaked out.
I texted James but I knew they were sleeping. I would text Charlie and Laura just because I needed some reassurance. But man. Was I unsettled. I was afraid they were going to come back with a key. So I turned on the lights and was not able to sleep for hours.
I texted with Laura and was upset on her behalf because her money went missing. I really hope whatever happened to it is figured out. But I feel so bad that she's been in the country else then two weeks and this happens?? Not cool.
I would eventually get a little rest. But I was a little on edge all day. Having caffeine helped. I got dressed and felt cute. And was excited to see James later. Just had to make it through the day.
It was a good day. Charlie was back! And he's going to do homestead which I think he will be amazing at. We all met at the pool house and did some training stuff. Went to the feild outside the pool and talked about self care. The sun was a bit to bright but I felt like it was good to be a part of that training. But soon me and CJ would bounce.
We grabbed Charlie and we all headed to the Yukon basement to look for supplies. We did some cleaning at homestead. I had to deal with a bunch of ant eggs which was very gross. But we made good progress.
I made Charlie and CJ talk through all his project ideas and make lists of supplies. Not just shopping but whatever the project would need so he wouldn't have to think about it later. He's going to do a lot of survival and mountain man stuff and I think that's just really cool.
It was lunch time basically. Me and CJ went to get some packages for me and then went to shave our lunch.
At the pool house kitchen we had a line for the microwave but we were all chatting and it was nice. I really like all my coworkers so this is just really good. I would end up at a table with a few internationals and we would talk about the Amish and food and the Ren faire and state fair and other things we think they should try. Lots of laughs and story telling. I was explaining to one girl form the UK that someone's I don't have fresh fruit or veggies for the entire week and it makes me feel very bad. Like I'll had fruits and veggies in stuff, or frozen, or dried or whatever. But not fresh. And she was like that's wild. And I was just like it's not terribly uncommon but you try your best.
Soon after that we were called back to training. Me and CJ would go find more packages. And I would go meet up with Charlie again.
CJ would go to the office and me and Charlie would go back to the basement with his truck to get the supplies we pulled out of storage.
We took some to the art building. And then we moved over to the gator (which is like a more sporty golf cart) to move more stuff. Went to fine Joe. Kept driving past our coworkers. It was a good time honestly.
Eventually I went to join the trainings again. And it was good to listen but I wanted to be in my building working on things. But there is to much happening in there with the Greek camp so I needed to not be up there.
But where we were was to close to the pool and so we were all really distracted. And then James was there!! And I was distracted by them. I stayed present in the meeting best I could. Until Elizabeth texted to come to the porch for a meeting.
The meeting was of specialty counselors. And I'm really excited Elizabeth will be leading us this year. She's very competent and I'm looking forward to working with her more.
We all had some questions and thoughts and we made a half of a plan for tomorrow. But really we should all just be setting up for next week. We start camp on Sunday!! I can't believe it. I'm so excited.
I was so happy to see James though!! They were very sleepy but they brought me most of the stuff I requested. And got me dinner.
We would go drop off a few things in the art building. I said goodbye to the Greek camp art teacher and asked they just turn off the lights and close the doors. There is a storm coming in. She thanked me for being hospitable and we headed out.
We had some traffic on the drive home. But that was alright. We got home before any rain. I was excited to eat but chipotle put meat on my bowl. Sad. I disassembled it and it was still good. And then James could have the meat parts.
We chilled for a while. And eventually they went to go play a game with this friends. And I took a very long bath which felt great. I feel very clean and that's just really nice.
James would watch me play a little Stardew valley. I chose a different ending for the community center and we got to see a fist fight. Which was very funny. But now we are both very tired. Sweetp seems thrilled we're both here and is being so needy. He's so cute.
I hope tomorrow feels more chill and good. I hope you all have a great sleep. Take care of yourself!!
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Prompt: A memory intertwined with a song
This is a mental health prompt, and my memory is -- you guessed it! -- mental health-related.
About six years ago, in late 2015, I was having a bad time. I still don't know exactly why, and I guess sometimes that's just how these things go. I had just moved across the country, and a lot of things had changed all at once. But I did have friends, both local and remote, and I'd been living away from family for years, so it just seemed like "I should be able to deal with this, right?"
There were a lot of little things that probably helped spur along my problems, though. I'd been excited about starting grad school, but I was having trouble making new friends in my department. I was sad that my officemate didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me. Around the time everything really started to unravel, I was hit by a car while crossing the street. I wasn't injured, more upset than anything. It was more of a bump, really. And since I was basically fine (a couple of bruises, nothing more), I kind of just tried to keep going.
Some of the therapists I've spoken to think that event was super influential in this whole thing. I'm less certain... Things had already not been going great, and while I'm told I felt guilty for surviving... I didn't feel that way, and I still don't. I was angry at the guy who hit me, I guess, but even that passed pretty quickly. I do think maybe I could have taken a day or two to process or something, but I really don't think it would have made a difference. Things were already pretty bad. I think of the car thing as "the icing on the cake." Except the cake is shit and the icing is something equally gross. Use your imagination.
I started having these weird thoughts that I just could not seem to push out of my mind. (They're called ruminations, btw, but I didn't know that then.) I became obsessed with this idea that I had cheated my way into grad school. It got really out of hand. I was so consumed with that idea that I couldn't even focus on my work, which was the whole reason I was in grad school to begin with. I was slowly convinced by people around me that I needed professional help, but it was harder to get than I expected. When I saw a campus therapist, she essentially told me that my anxieties seemed perfectly rational to her, so why was I seeking therapy anyway? My mom became so worried that she flew out to see me and, one afternoon, begged me to go to the walk-in mental health clinic. There, I was basically told "Grad school is hard, man" and asked if I was aware that this service was intended for emergencies. I saw a psychiatrist on campus, too, who prescribed me Zoloft (good choice, I still take that) and Ativan (much more questionable choice). For the uninitiated, Ativan is an anti-anxiety med. It can calm you down if you have anxiety. However, much like alcohol and many other substances, it's also a "downer". It's not an awesome choice for someone who is depressed.
By the end of that semester -- which I managed to hobble through, somehow -- a friend had convinced me that it really wouldn't end my career to take a semester off. And I did that, in the end. And I am so glad I did, because things got so much worse before they got better. I stayed with my parents and saw a therapist weekly while taking my meds every day and trying to keep it together. It was not a happy few months, to say the least. I ended up needed more medication (yay, Abilify!), and my therapist did her best to teach me how to deal with the intrusive thoughts until the medications started to take effect. Officially, I have depression and OCD. Untangling who caused which symptoms is complicated, because some of them overlap. Fortunately, the medications overlap, too. Little by little, the thoughts went away, but waiting for that to happen was absolutely agonizing.
So finally, we come to the song. I'm not sure when I first heard it. It's on a Gavin DeGraw album that my sister didn't like, and I probably only listened because it was on Spotify. But there's this line that repeats a couple of times.
Take those boots off the shelf
Wipe that dust off yourself
Even if you've been through hell, you're back
Still gets me. Because I did feel like I'd been through hell. I even questioned if I wanted to go back to grad school at all. But I did go back, I spent an additional five years there, and I got my PhD in the end. My career didn't suffer for having taken time off. Realistically, I couldn't have stayed while all that was going on inside my head. I left, I did what I needed to do, I got the help I needed, and I came back.
Mental illness told me my life and career were over. It told me all kinds of lies about myself. I still have bad days sometimes. But, all in all, things have improved so much since then. Even if you're going through hell now, you can come back. It doesn't have to be the end of your story.
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|| jake x reader
genre : angst ; idol
pairing : idol!reader x idol!jake
warnings : crying ; reader is insecure about themselves : fluff towards the end if you squint hehe
word count : 2.2k
note : sorry for any miss spellings, i don't do any proof reading. also this is written to where corona never happened.
you never realized how hard it was after your debut, even harder than your trainee days. especially when you debuted through a survival show.
all throughout the survival show you were nervous if you would even make it to debut as you felt, compared to the other members on the show, you lacked talent. during the last episode of the show you had lost all hope as the members were being announced, your hope slowly going down the drain. and as you stood with one other person you felt it in you that you weren't going to debut. but as the last person was announced it hit with surprise. your name was announced. it all felt surreal to you and you couldn't believe what the judges had said. had they really said your name?
you had looked towards the other members standing to the side, grins on their faces as they motioned for you to join them. when it finally had hit you that you made it, you couldn't help but burst into tears as you thanked the judges for giving you the opportunity to debut and thanking all the fans who had voted for you.
now, as you sit in the waiting room after your debut stage you couldn't help but feel giddy. the sweat rolled down your face and down your back but you didn't particularly care, you were just happy you finally had the chance after the 5 years you had spent training and working for this day.
"how'd it feel, y/n," your manager sat down next to you as they scrolled through their phone, looking at what was next on the schedule.
"surreal," you sighed out, the exhaustion rolling through you in one hit. as much as you loved the feeling of performing and seeing all your smiling fans you couldn't help but loath the exhaustion that came with it.
"glad to hear, next on the schedule is a variety show so get ready for that," your manager walked out leaving you by yourself in the small room. because you were the only girl in your group, you had to use a separate waiting room from the rest of the boys but you were honestly glad as it gave a moment of peace from their loud and bubbly personalities.
you finished getting ready for the next schedule and walked out with your manager when he had come back to get you. you had dressed down in comfier clothing as you knew you were just going to change again as soon as you got to the other building.
"y/n! i can't wait to watch the performance of us tonight!" you met up with the other boys as you walked out of the building and you agreed with the tall boy. jake, the tall boy, was the first person you had made a connection with during the survival show. you were thankful that jake was the first since he had helped you all throughout the show. when you were struggling with anything, jake was always their to help you. you were growing so fond of the boy that you couldn't help but slowly grow feelings for him. of course you would never be able to tell him since you were both in the same group but you couldn't help what your heart was feeling for him. you knew you had a 0% chance with him and as much as it hurt to admit and come to terms with, it was better that way.
"i bet it caught you stepping on my foot, jake," you couldn't help but scold him and slap his arm as during the performance he had stepped on your foot twice.
"it was an accident," he pouted, rubbing his arm. you smiled at him and gave him a side hug while you walked outside the building, not noticing the cheeky smile he had given you as you wrapped your arm around him. however, what you had not expected as soon as you walked out was to be bombarded, the flashing lights shocked you and blinded you for a few seconds as you instinctively hid behind one of your members, burying your face behind his back so as to not be blinded again. you were pushed and pulled from every direction as you tried to hold onto him but you were soon separated from the other boys the only thing holding back the fans were two bodyguards, one on each side. you lifted your head and continued walking, trying hard not to stumble and fall from the blinding lights.
your heart race picked up as you kept walking as it felt like it was taking forever to get to the van which wasn't even parked far away from the building you were exiting. when you finally made it into the car you threw yourself inside and sat next to a worried jake.
"hey, you ok? who would've thought it would already be like this," he looked at you, a worried expression on your face as you breathed a sigh of a relief as you saw all seven of them in the car as well.
"yeah, im fine, i just got lost in there," you sunk yourself into the car seat as the van started driving to the next destination. the other members gave you worried expressions and after reassuring them once more they all either went to looking at their phones or sleeping during the short car ride.
the only one who never looked away was jake. he noticed your shaking hands as you held them trying to not make it too obvious you were so shaken up about what had just happened. he grabbed your hand in his rubbing his thumb across the back of your hand to help calm you down.
"i'm ok, really," you whispered out the reassurance but you honestly didn't know who exactly you were trying to reassure, jake or yourself.
the rest of the schedules wrapped up nicely and as you all arrived at the dorm you immediately went into your room, throwing yourself onto your bed. you were exhausted from the first day of jam packed schedules and all you wanted to do was rest as you had to be up in only a couple of hours. the dorm was filled with busy sounds as all the members caught up with each other before it finally died down as everyone had been tired and wanted to rest.
as exhausted as you were, you were anxious. the debut performance was finally up and you wanted to see what the reactions were so naturally you had searched up the performance. you watched the performance one time all the way through, beaming at your members. they all looked so good and you did in fact notice the camera was able to get in frame jake stepping onto your foot not only once but twice. you giggled to yourself as you saw your face scrunch up slightly in pain and jake showed a shocked expression. it only lasted for a second as the camera cut to a different shot but it was still a funny moment you caught.
your nervousness amped up as you scrolled through the comments, most of them were positive but there were a few that stood out to you.
sh**** commented
why did hybe even let a girl like that debut? she has no talent and she's so unattractive. ridiculous.
ex****** commented
the other members must be embarrassed to have a girl like her in the group, her dancing sucks and her vocals are non existent how is she even a main vocal???
even though there were more positive comments about the performance you couldn't help but let the negative comments get to you. tears welled up in the corner of your eyes and they finally started dropping as you kept reading the comments. all the negative comments were about you. your mind couldn't help but blur all the words together in your mind ; talentless, embarrassing, unfit, untalented. it was all overwhelming and you couldn't help the sob that left your mouth. you covered your mouth, looking up towards the door and waiting in silence for a few seconds to make sure no one was coming and let the tears flow down your face.
thinking about all the events that unfolded earlier in the day, you couldn't help but feel engulfed with all the emotions you had kept inside of you throughout the day. you had looked forward to your debut for years and even though you enjoyed being around your members and you know you had fans that accepted you and loved you but it still hurt to know you had so many who hated you.
a knock at the door halted your running thoughts and put them on pause as you looked up, finding a concerned jake peeking through the door.
"y/n? what's wrong, oh my god are you ok?" you were stilled in shock, not expecting jake to suddenly come knocking at your door. he came in kneeling down to your level and grabbing your face in his hands.
"i thought you were asleep," you muttered up a response as you tried to wipe your tears, failing in the process as even more tears fall down.
"hey hey, you're doing ok. i promise," jake tried wiping your tears but his efforts were in vain as his fingers were being drenched with your tears. as soon as those words left his mouth you couldn't but let out a sob as the weight of his words hit you. you didn't feel like you were doing ok and the thoughts went from still to running again.
jake, seeing that his words only made it worse, wrapped his arms around you whispering even more encouraging words in your ear. you wrapped your own arms around him and crumbled in his embrace.
"they don't like me jake, maybe i'm really not fit to be in enhypen," you stuttered out your feelings. once jake wrapped his arms around you, you knew it was over. jake knew how to make you weak and he knew how to make you vulnerable without him even trying. you hated how he could see through you but you were also grateful. grateful that even if he didn't reciprocate the same emotions as you did, all you really needed was his presence.
"i don't know what's going on behind that pretty little head of yours but i need you to know that you are fit for enhypen. it may not seem like it but we all need you and enhypen wouldn't be enhypen without you. you are perfect the way you are," jake always knew just the right words to make you feel at peace. your thoughts finally stopped and dispersed, his words filling the earlier negative ones.
"thank you, jake i don't know what i would do without you," you hugged him tighter than before and you both finally let go of each other, him wiping the last few tears off of your face.
"how about we get some sleep? we have to be up in a few so let's get as much rest as we can," you agreed with him and you both got up. he left your room not long after and you swiftly got into bed, pulling the covers up to your shoulders, the only thing peeping out from under the blanket was your head. not long after jake had left, he came barging back in, scaring you as you were just about to fall asleep. you watched as he laid a blanket and a pillow down on the floor next to your bed, getting under the blanket and resting his head on the pillow. you looked up at you as you were peeking over the bed and gave you a smile.
"what are you doing?" you whispered.
"im sleeping right here, i don't want you alone on your first night after debut and plus, everyone else has a roomate anyway," he gave you one last glance before closing his eyes and getting comfortable on the floor. why did he always know what to do? why did he always make you feel special?
you ignored your fast beating heart and laid back down in your own bed. after a few minutes of silence you still laid awake, staring at the ceiling of your room.
"jake?"
"hmm?"
"can i hold your hand?" you let your hand rest over the side of your bed as the weight of your words settled into the quiet night and you couldn't help but get nervous. you didn't know why you were getting so bold but you wanted to be comforted and held. and holding hands was close enough.
after a few seconds you finally felt his hands grip yours tightly and you felt his warmth comfort you in mere seconds. it wasn't long before you had fallen asleep, your body shifting closer towards the edge of the bed so you could hold jake's hand more comfortably. jake, however, had not succumbed to the night, him looking up at you as he let out a sigh.
"what do i do, y/n? i really like you."
#enhypen x y/n#enhypen x reader#enhypen scenarios#jay scenarios#jake sim#jake shim#jake x reader#jake enhypen x reader
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Platonic Toko and Byakuya Things!
Oops so now I have Toko and Byakuya on the brain. I know people have said almost anything and everything about this, but I wanted to add some stuff and ramble a bit! Toko and Byakuya both mean sooo much to me as characters and the idea of them some day actually getting along has my entire heart and soul.
Spoilers for Trigger Happy Havoc and Ultra Despair Girls!
So obviously we need some time here, right. Listen I love them both but they need time apart and such; this doesn't happen overnight
I need some of that sweet, sweet Toko development first. Y'know once she stops idolizing them and sees them as an actual human being. Also how badly they treated her and vice versa. Basically, we need to throw out the entire dynamic and start fresh
Mutual apologies should probably happen and to be quite honest, I've wanted to write that out for months, but I can't decide exactly when or how it would happen, so I haven't. But I love the idea to bits.
Anyways AFTER all of that gets squared away, I genuinely think they'd make amazing friends in a weird way
They're both sarcastic, sharp, and cocky depending on the circumstance.
Like yes, Toko is e x t r e m e l y insecure, but never once does she put down her skills, and on some level, she has moments where she displays pride and confidence, too.
And to be honest, isn't Byakuya insecure, too? They just don't express it in the same ways as Toko. Chapter 4 tings, ya know?
The sheer levels of sass between the two of them is iconic, and if they ever were aiming that sass at the same target, they wouldn't survive.
Gay best friends
I'm one of those people that headcanons Toko as a lesbian with a whole lotta comphet, and tbh I imagine something similar for Byakuya. Less comphet and more not understanding what attraction is even supposed to feel like until catching feelings for a guy for the first time. Absolutely primed and ready to force themselves into relationships with women for the sake of their family's tradition before realizing it's definitely not supposed to feel that uncomfortable.
Weirdly enough they have a lot in common. I don't know if they'd ever get super close, but in the event that they did, they'd be able to relate to each other on a lot of levels.
Also the discussions of literature mmMMM good shit.
Not that they ever have a ton of free time but in the event that they do, they could probably pass a lot of time just getting into healthy debates over interpretations of things
From the outside, it looks like they're about ready to murder each other, but they can go back to being civil on a dime
Also Byakuya giving some of Toko's stuff a chance just? Hits different?
Bro especially once Byakuya ends up in a relationship because I feel like then you can get a new appreciation for that type of thing. The cheesy shit feels a bit less stupid
Listen they hate that they like it but they do like it
speaking of dating y’ALL THE DOUBLE DATES??
Komaru would get super excited about it which would make Makoto super excited about it and both Toko and Byakuya don’t know how to say no.
In laws in laws in laws
Hello Naegami Tokomaru nation how are you doing
Damn honestly it’d just be cool if they got along. It’d be really, really neat if what remains of their class could all get along as a group. Mutual healing type beat
Gosh now I’m imagining Toko, Byakuya, Makoto, Kyoko, and Komaru watching a movie together while Toko and Byakuya just rip the entire story to shreds
(Kyoko tries to stay quiet, but she does eventually join in. Albeit with a bit more composure and grace than the other two)
Komaru and Makoto are just glad to see them getting along
This is very very specific, and who knows, maybe I’ll actually write this as a fic at one point, but I have an oddly specific headcanon regarding the events of UDG and Genocide Jack and such
With the events of the first killing game being broadcast, Genocide Jack’s identity obviously becomes public, and that would cause a lot of extreme consequences for the system as a whole.
After she actually heals (ACTUALLY as an individual, not just Toko trying to control her switches) and genuinely decides to turn over a new leaf, I think Byakuya is the one who gets her, and by extension Toko, out of hot water.
They’re way too prideful to ever outright thank Toko and Jill for saving them, but in their own special, standoffish way, that’s how they return the favor- giving them that sort of Togami stamp of approval and speaking to their credibility overall
It all has a very professional air to it; however, it's the start of a rocky but good friendship
Overall that’s just how their friendship works in my head: they start spending more time together through other obligations or their significant others, and they come to the realization that they actually enjoy each other’s company when they aren’t verbally abusing and sexually harassing each other :'D
I think once they both do some serious healing, they could be really good for each other as friends. They'd get along better than both initially would think.
Thanks for reading my little rambles! I hope you enjoyed them! Hopefully I’ll write more about their dynamic someday soon. Like I said, I love them both dearly, so it’s fun to imagine!
#toko fukawa#fukawa toko#byakuya togami#togami byakuya#genocide jack#genocider syo#danganronpa#dr headcanons#danganronpa headcanons#I think I made it pretty clear but just in case for the love of everything p l e a s e don't interpret this in a romantic or shippy way#that ship makes me big sad#but eventual friendship v good <3
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hey, I'd like your input on a certain question I have pertaining to a hypothetical alternate ending of banana fish (the one where ash survives his stab wound). if you're not sure how to answer, that's completely fine, but I've seen so many people in the fandom claim so many different things about what would have happened if he survived, and I'm searching for a solid opinion.
I think the majority of the fandom can collectively agree that ash didn't need to die in order to heal from his trauma. I've see a lot of idiots say that even if ash lived, he would never heal or escape his past trauma, and so dying was the best outcome for his circumstances, which I'm sure the majority of us with more than 1 active braincell knows that's utter dog shit, and that survivors can heal no matter how big of a wound they may need treated.
however, I've seen people say that dying was his best option, NOT because he wouldn't have healed from his trauma, but because he wouldn't have the chance to heal considering the fact that he'd always be hunted down by his enemies. I've also seen people claim that even if he moved countries, he'd always be in constant danger because people would never stop looking for him. that he, as well as eiji, would have to live in fear and would never find peace due to the enemies ash has made during his lifetime.
I'm not sure what to think of this. I believe he'd be able to fake his death, borrow a new identity, and fake a passport to get on that damn plane headed to Japan. some have said that he wouldn't be able to due to his criminal record and so he'd never be allowed on a plane, which I also believe is dog shit. if that blond can scam millions of dollars out of and buy a condo right across from his #1 enemy without being caught, he can fucking travel. it's absurd how part of the fandom STILL underestimates his abilities, considering that he's shown time and time again of how capable and intelligent he truly is.
If you're able to answer, I'd like your opinion. we've established that survivors are able to heal no matter how big the baggage, but do you think he'd get the chance to heal, or would he always be on the run? would he forever be preoccupied with running from his enemies, or do you think his enemies would die trying to find him? I personally think that since his #1 enemy, D*no, is charred to a crisp, that he'd be somewhat safe from the rest. I don't think they'd even find him in an entirely different country in an entirely different continent.
but what do I know, honestly? maybe Yoshida confirmed that even if he did survive, he'd still be on the run until he died. I know she's said that murderers didn't deserve happy endings (bullshit, considering the circumstances that ash was in), but I'm not sure if she's clarified whether he would be on the run if he did hypothetically live. what do you think? no pressure :)
First of all, I'm a big fan of ignoring things Yoshida said.
I'm glad we agree that trauma survivors can heal! Also a big fan of that. Not gonna discuss that more here since we're already on the same page 💖
Before I get into whether or not Ash could ever escape from his enemies, I'd like to establish something about myself and my beliefs. I, personally, think that living is always going to be the better option. I am not going to be taking this question as a "could Ash have escaped his enemies, or is it good that he died?" That's not the problem here. The question I'll respond to below is "could Ash have escaped his enemies, or would he have always been on the run?"
This is an important distinction, because the first question implies that some lives just aren't worth living. I think your intentions here were good, so please don't take this as an attack on you in any way! But I'm not a fan of "living in fear [or living any other way] is worse than death" for a number of reasons. For one thing, dying is permanent. Once you die, there's never a chance of it getting better. It's literally a permanent solution to what often has the potential to be a temporary problem.
Also, any sort of "death is better" logic is a very slippery slope to be walking. If death is better than living in fear, is it also better than living with a permanent disability? With a chronic illness? At what point is it bad but still worth living through? Will Ash, on some level, always be living in fear due to what's likely post-traumatic stress disorder? Healing is obviously possible, but healing means learning how to cope better with a history of trauma, not getting rid of it.
So we're essentially asking the same question that we've already established the answer to: Is it better to live than to die? And, uh, yeah. Yeah, it is.
So anyway, moving onto the question I believe you were intending to ask: Would Ash have been able to escape his enemies?
Yeah. He would have.
For one thing, most of the people who actually gave a shit were already dead. Sure, the Corsican Foundation still existed, but most of them probably didn't think much of Ash besides him being Dino's favorite. There were those who saw Ash's mind in action during that month he spent with Dino during canon, but without Dino there, they have no reason to want Ash dead. Same with the ones who wanted Ash dead before the National Health Institute arc, if they weren't already dead themselves by the end of canon (like Kippard).
If Ash weren't going after them, I don't see why any of them would go after Ash.
Yut-Lung arguably had more enemies than Ash did by the end of canon, which was even Blanca's excuse for agreeing to work for him, but I don't see anyone arguing that Yue should have died. (I believe that he was canonically killed by one of his enemies at some point after Garden of Light, but does that mean that those 7+ years of freedom that he lived were pointless just because they came to an end?)
As far as traveling, yeah, Ash absolutely would have been able to fake an identity if he needed to. Like you said, he's done worse, and it's not like he doesn't have the connections for it. Although ...
I don't know if I've ever fully explained it in a fic or on here, but here's how I usually write post-canon.
Ash and Eiji stay in NYC. We know that moving back to the States and staying there is possible for Eiji, because ... it's what he does in canon after Ash's death. It's mentioned in GoL that Eiji moved back before he even healed completely from his gunshot wound, and that he got his Permanent Resident Card five years later.
As far as Ash, as much as a fucking pain in the ass it would be for him, I usually write him as actually testifying in court against ... fucking everyone. He gets help with this from Max, of course, and also from Jessica (who leaked Max's investigation, including the evidence they obtained from Frog, to the media in episode 23). In return for his testimony, he's granted total witness immunity for his crimes. ((Keep in mind that I know nothing about legal processes and how this would actually work in real life, but for fanfiction purposes that's how I choose to write it.))
So basically: Fuck Yoshida. Fuck death. Live your best life. YOLO.
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If you go back to "Lebanon", Dean tells John he always had a family and then tells Sam he's happy with the person he is (as well as who Sam is). So, I mean Dean was happy in the finale. It's just that his happiness was living the life he always lived, as a hunter with Sam by his side. And Sam and Dean were now able to truly live their lives (and die) on their own terms. True free will. Which is really what Sam and Dean had been fighting for for a long time.
I mean, for me personally, the only major quibble I have is that they didn't make it explicitly canon how long a period of time Dean had before dying. The way it's presented, they go immediately from winning their freedom from Chuck to Dean dying. We - and Jared - can headcanon all day long, but there's nothing in the canon that necessitates it was more than days or weeks. It would take as little as a title card to fix that and without it, it can easily read as if Dean spent all that time fighting to be free of outside influences only to die basically immediately after achieving that. Him being happy before it happens doesn't negate how depressing it feels he didn't have that long to enjoy it.
However, in terms of other fans' disappointment? While I do think he was happy with where he was in the finale before the end, I mentioned what Dean wanted and what would be good for him not necessarily being the same. Dean does not have what anyone should consider a remotely normal or healthy outlook. Having self-interest and identity outside of hunting and Sam is what a lot of his fans wanted for him to find for himself after Chuck. Even if Dean himself wouldn't necessarily want that, it would be healthier for him for Dean to have more self-preservation and goals for his own sake than he did. Hell, it'd be healthier and less stressful for Sam, too - it's not even inherently about them actually separating their lives or stopping hunting. Which, yeah, I think still gets into what it was actually realistic to expect out of this show given its themes and its central story being about Sam&Dean's Sam&Deanness as well as what the writers present at the end cared about. However, it's hardly that unusual for fans to want things that are unlikely and be disappointed not to get them. It didn't help that a few people happy with the finale were trying to say it was totes Dean's happy ending because he said in season eight that he wanted to die with a gun in his hand and was a-okay with that as long as Sam got out to have a normal life. Which is just ... Even if that wasn't massively depressing in and of itself for him not to have any more hope than that? It's said in the context of having spent a year in Purgatory. It's said in the context of Sam's repeated declarations he's getting out of hunting once they finish the trials. It's said in a way that makes it absolutely clear it's not so much what he wants but the best he thinks he can possibly get because he deserves no better, and somebody has to take on the trials and probably die. To me it reads kind of like if The End had been Sam going to hell with Lucifer in season five and people had just been like, well, he told Ruby at the end of season four he was glad Dean was far away because he didn't expect to survive as himself after preventing Lucifer's apocalypse and throwing himself possessed into the cage was ultimately his plan to stop it, so it's an a-okay happy ending, he totes got what he wanted! 💀
So yeah, I get wanting the character to have explicitly had more life if he did have to die. I get not liking that he died, even if he was happy beforehand, because Dean never wanted enough for himself. I get not feeling like a happy afterlife is enough to make up for a mostly hellish life. I don't, however, get fixating on it and throwing tantrums pretending to be traumatized by not liking the end of a tv show. Ignore the existence of that episode or all of it past the pie festival, write fix-it fic or headcanons, go watch a different show, whatever! Which again, I think is what most actual Dean fans that aren't happy with the end are doing - it's mainly the ones who were never Dean fans, just D/C fans who built an entirely different fake show in their heads still insisting they were owed something else.
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#11 The Silent Blade
Start Date: October 23, 2021
End Date: January 25, 2022
Tweet: adventure!! ew why is regis acting like old regis Entreris back! Jaralxle is back! wulfgar is gone!! alcoholic and a dickhead ;; coup time >:) boat adventure wahoo!! there are Lolth priests? hey house oblodra I remberevery1 cheatsjarlaxle knew who...?
Card: 4 of hearts :: the first step to recovery is acknowledging there is a problem
9.5/10 the parts are put in the best way they could be, but its a mess. like how you put something in the freezer just well enough that it closes, but it will surely fall apart when you open it again.
Notes: HAPPY NEW YEAR in the time that it took me to read this I finished my first semester in college !! the new year started! and yesterday was the first day of the spring semester.. honestly I didnt touch this book since like the week I finished the last one rip ;; ty wraith for helping me get through it. you know I asked them about how they feel about leaving things unfinished and the way I thought of it was that I abandoned these guys - like they were stuck in there until I continued. wraith thinks its more like a play and pauses are like intermissions ;; cute I know
lets start with this - wulfgar and Entreri are broken and aimless. coming into this they didnt know what to do with themselves. entreri was probably wandering around ever since starless night (the most we know so far is that he stayed in Silverymoon or some how got Silverymoon minted coins). he returned to Calimport cos, well, he didnt know where else to go. it wasn't until then that jarlaxle came into his life again and gave him a direction. actually jarlaxle is rly good at that - his band is full of competent drow males that individually wouldn't be able to stand, but under him well, bundle of sticks vs a single twig yk. entreri is the same
Wulfgar... oh me boy, you poor soul. its not outright stated in the text like it is later in epilogue on Catti-brie, but wulfgar was most definitely raped via succubus torture during those six long years that might I remind you just RECENTLY ended, like maybe a month or so ago. the gang love him, but not him. They all got to grow and they saw each other grow and change, but in the absence of such for wulfgar,, they still expect that young man that was the fiancé of the dwarf kings daughter. Strong, brave, noble, and willing to listen and learn and be a beacon of hope. but what they have is... not that. they pretend its fine because, well that's their friend and they would be dicks if they didnt accept him, but they don't really accept him. they think that just by spending time with him and being nice and what not will just fix it but that's not how this whole tormentation thing works. as it was in siege of darkness - the toughest battles are those we cannot fight in.
And in such, wulfgar runs away as hes a danger to his friends. he finds himself on half moon street among the wretched, and he finds a place for himself with the broken. he finds solace in the company of drink and at the side of delly curtie. I didnt like her at first cos of the whole ‘bringing him to bed while hes blacking out’ but although we only get a bit of her - this rugged band in arumns tavern hold each other well. I hope we get more scenes with her, she's
actually new paragraph, im... interested in her character. im pretty sure she's a prostitute, but also at the same time I think she might just be someone who sleeps around for her own survival. its sort of, self harm in her best interest. im not sure how to describe it, at least not rn at 1148 pm on a school night (I chose 8 am classes weep) but she resonates in my mind rent free. im sure ill write more during the next tweet post.
dondon tiggerwillies is gross and im glad hes gone ; dwahvel tiggerwillies thoughh - might have to add to the beloved list hue hue
I really enjoyed a lot of the Calimport scenes , especially when entreri is being hunted down by that one leautenatn (ugh I cant spell - ill edit l8r) actually all of the liethants - fuck them. honestly if they left him alone, things would be cool. but I accept that this is way better. the new pasha of the basadoni guild.
what the FUCK are you wearing?? is this your thottie fit? aren’t you in the actual desert (every fantasy setting needs an arabian nights desert level!)
lets see what else. oh ya. ched nasad, forgot that was a place. how did jarlaxle get a wizard priest? idk but I didnt even know there were Lolth priests! thought it was the same in Menzoberranzan in the other drow cities (except where Eilistraee rings, and I guess vhaeraun too)
did kimmuriel escape his house’s destruction? I don't remember seeing him during that one. and maybe its for the best, like how Vierna and dinin couldn't snitch on the house that literally did them in. so ya cool. hey berginyon showed up, and hes a pretty important (running Menzoberranzan while the big boss is out of town is a real big deal yo)
the end fight wasn't as interesting. just a no good 36 hours of attacked, get tricked, get tricked, fight, recover.
but I was surprised that jarlaxle showed up so fast like I wasn't expecting him to use the shard so soon. but it was a good set up. so drizzt and entreri have they're fight. well first drizzt refusing to and then entreri throwing a fit. the cheaters won but aren't happy as jarlaxle admits that the field was skewed in Entreri’s favor, entreri strikes as drizzt is distracted, kimmuriel grants him psionics, but even if he did strike drizzt dead then and there, he wouldn't have been happy with it. they werent equals and by killing him he would be admitting that. drizzt beat him fair and square despite all the tricks, and that's why he breaks down thrashing and kimmuriel has to take him out of there.
during the epilogue, we get ✧Recontextualisation✧
so zak knew jarlaxle, they were friends even. so what does that mean? now we get to re examine Jarlaxle’s actions under that lends. he took in dinin and vierna as a favor to Zaknafein? he didnt rape catti brie because she's friends with Zak’s son - even so far as aiding in their escape from the Menzoberranzan? In the legacy, when jarlaxle sets off that lightning bolt on him that Guen absorbs, was he really planning on lethal? Would he really welcome him into Bregan Daerthe?
Also not to read between lines before reading the lines but is there significance to referring to their relationship as ‘friends’? I’m pretty sure this conversation they’re having is being spoken in common and maybe he used this word as a replacement for a word that doesn’t exist and has a different meaning like how Hawaiian’s have over 200 words for rain whereas (at least in my experience of English) we just stack adjectives upon adjectives, and even then it might not be exactly the same feeling by the end of the translation. But the thing is, they both speak the drow tongue, and we’ve seen jarlaxle use his khal’abbil so much we already have it down. So,, what I’m trying to say is, I think from just a simple way of words there was something fonder..?
So where does that leave everyone? Entreri is now a big boss in his home town, steadily building his reputation.
The remaining companions are out there uh,, adventuring? I mean they kinda lost the crystal shard, so what're they gonna do now other than beat the snot outta gerblins cos its fun
Wulfgar is enjoying his new life, reborn and without care for the future and without looking to the past. Simple living for today and maybe tomorrow.
Man.. what a way to end things.
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Moodboard #3
I was not able to make another moodboard since February because there's not much difference from what I was feeling from back then to now. It was pretty much all the same. Still wanting to get away and have freedom, yk same old shit but it wouldn't be a surprise that some things did change throughout this 5 mos like :
My lovely Calico cat Jimina gave birth to 5 kittens originally. She was pregnant at the start of this year and blessed the world with 5 cute mini jiminas on March 9 (same birthdate of BTS Suga)
3 of the kittens inherited her orange and white fur while the other one inherited the dark, striped fur completely devoid of any white fur. Only one kitten out of 5 got her triple color coated fur.
Sadly only 3 survived. Jimina hid the kittens briefly first and then abruptly one day she brought them up again already grown up, able to walk and with their eyes open but she only had 3 kittens with her. I never got to find out what ever happened with the other 2 babies with one of the missing of the kittens was the one that fully inherited the Calico cat status of Jimina which devastated me the most and I'm still heartbroken to this day that some of her babies didn't get to live like their siblings. I don't want to think that they died, I want to actually believe that they somehow survived without their mother miraculously but it's only the plausible reason why they never showed up at all 😞
The 3 surviving kittens tho is a lot of fun! They were rumbustious and full of energy. They were always playing and running around in my mom's garden. Climbing up a tree or an orchid branch, playing hide and seek through the plethora of plants. It was a treat to see them just having fun and I took lots of videos. I decided to name them after the BTS maknaes nicknames which is Kookie, Mochi and TaeTae. All 3 kittens have a very distinct personality from each other like you could immediately tell that Kookie is more introverted than the other two, his more reserved and prefers to be alone most of the time, TaeTae is more adventurous and playful but he doesn't trust that easily while Mochi on the other hand is the most extroverted and trusting out of all (FYI: I named them first without knowing their personalities believe it or not). Overall they brought so much life and extra joy in me. Now that they are 4 mos old, they don't play that much anymore, I guess it's really part of growing up regardless of what species. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Now onto my summer. I was dreading it's arrival. It's not fun when you don't have an AC at your house in the hottest season. But anyways this summer I've been having this strong desire to experience Italian summers. I just wanted to be in Italy soooooo bad. I just want to ride my bicycle anywhere in rural Italy in a summer floral dress and eating a delicious gelato after while listening to Love my way by the Psychedelic furs. Yes this strong desire got even stronger after watching the movie Call me by your name. It envoked so much nostalgia within me which is weird because I've never set foot in Italy before but the feeling of longing that I experience just thinking about spending your summer in Italy is very strong.
Additionally, speaking of bicycles I successfully finished my remodeling or rather repainting of an old bicycle we have here which is perfect for summer aesthetics. I mentioned before on my previous moodboard back in February that I was in the process of painting this bike and I included a picture of a bike that I would like my own bike to look like after I'm finish with it. And I'm very happy and satisfied with the end result overall! And I would love love to ride it around Italy!...... perhaps.
These are 3 of the most impactful things that had rocked my world within the past few months and they are in a form of a documentary, an animated podcast and an anime film!
1. Grey Gardens
I first discovered Grey Gardens when I was actively looking for any good documentary to watch so I went to Reddit recommendations and one user suggested grey gardens. Its description peaked my interest enough to go check it out and luckily the full documentary is uploaded in YouTube for free. And I must say I'm glad that I took the chance to watch this wonderful hidden gem!
Little Edie quickly got my full attention on her. She's one of the most wonderful and fascinating people to exist in our world and her mother big Edie was just as interesting of a character as well. The way they live their life, spending most of their time in a rundown mansion near a beach was truly a sight to behold in a weird, peculiar manner.
What gives me the most profound impact about this documentary is the topic of wasted youth with wasted potential and the ironic part when your very own lifeline equally imprisons you as well. And we see this most evidently with little Edie. There was a part in this doc that stuck with me the most and it's when the mother-daugther duo was sunbathing in the balcony and little Edie mentioned about wanting freedom from her mother and the grey gardens then big Edie answered:
"you can't have freedom when you're being supported"
And this has struck a chord on me so strong because I relate to it so much especially with my current situation. I also crave freedom from where I am right now but I couldn't because I'm not capable of freeing myself.
What's more tragic was little Edies rebuttal to her mother's hotknife realistic take which was you can't have freedom both ways. That you couldn't have freedom when you're not being supported as well. And it's very true. If you decide to go out in the world by yourself you will definitely be freed from the shackles of your former home & life but you will subject yourself to another imprisonment.
Basically We're never truly free in this life.
2. The Midnight Gospel
I think I've heard of TMG when it was about to launch on its release year and I remember i was anticipating for it to come out because i just took one look at the official poster & I knew I would like the animation then I learned Pendleton ward is a part of it & I'm a huge fan of his creations so it's a double treat but I didn't had the opportunity to watch it back then bcoz of my busy shitty life & I actually don't have Netflix. But I remember i downloaded one of its ost first things first.
Now fast forward to this year. I now have the time to watch every content out there that I missed from all the years of slaving my life away for absolutely nothing. one of those is TMG & it was a perfect timing. Ever since i took an hiatus from the rat race I decided to strengthen my spirituality & this time I want to try delving deep to Buddhism and certain philosophies which I don't have the time and energy to learn before and TMG was a great and perfect medium for me to learn further about this subjects as they tackle topics like mindfulness and meditation and much more other significant things, not to mention the superb,epic, psychedelical, full of awesomeness animation on top of equally superb awesome soundtracks is*chefs kiss ( I still have an LSS to the prisoner's song.. 🎵drinking blood from a stump of a prison guard that I just chopped up....🎶)
I felt like the universe intended for me to watch this later than sooner because if I had the opportunity to watch it back then, I think I wouldn't/couldn't appreciate this show as much as I do now. So thanks universe!
TMG is honestly one of the best show to ever grace the planet imho. An easily perfect 10/10 for me.
3. To the Forest of Firefly Lights
Now I've watched a lot of animes last and this year and I can tell in full confidence that this is the best of them all. I'm sure it's subjective but this one checked all the box for the most compelling story & amazing artwork for me.
Maybe I long for something similar with the characters, It was just so fascinating and huntingly beautiful to have someone or something (whatever your preference is) from a different realm to be by your side. Maybe I would also like to look forward for summer season to come for once, to get excited and get rejuvenated on a hot summer that otherwise would make my life hell. Or maybe and most definitely I just needed someone like Gin as a source of my utmost happiness and comfort.
Overall this anime had made me feel so much warmth in my heart with its unadulterated poignancy and I just couldn't get enough of it. What a masterpiece ✨
Ps: I recommend listening to Warning Sign by Coldplay after watching to the Forest of Firefly Lights 🌹Check it out ⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️⬇️
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Childhood promises - Hisagi Shuhei
"Shuhei wake up! It's snowing!" (Your Name) says putting on her torn up shoes while running outside. Rukongai in the winter was harsh and they were poor but it didn't mean they weren't happy.
"I'm coming!" He calls out putting on his robe and touching the white floor.
She was playing with the snow and smiling. He shyly watched. "Come on!" She yelled out and grabbed his hand.
"Ahh!" He protested and stood next to her and she smiled.
"Let's make something!"
They made a snowman and laughed as it fell apart from their poor attempt of it.
"I'm hungry (Your Name)." He says clutching his stomach.
With a worried face she walks back into their house and looks at what they had left. "Here eat this."
It was the last of their rice balls they had.
"But you won't be able to have any."
(Your Name) smiles and gives it to Shuhei anyways. "It's okay eat it."
Looking at the rice ball he broke it in half.
"Thanks." She smiles and eats it in one bite.
Shuhei zones out in the office and smiles sadly to himself. He had missed (Your Name) deeply and regret being a weak friend at the time.
He remembered he thought of her as family, they had no one. Although she was 5 years older than him (Your Name) worked hard for them.
Shuhei remember she worked at a small stall in rukongai and she made enough money for them to live enough to survive. Although they starved from time to time they were happy.
Kensei walks in with papers and places them on Shuhei desk. "Need these done by tomorrow."
"Okay Captain."
Kensei stares at Shuhei and walks out the office. He noticed that his Vice Captain had been spacing out recently but he didn't want to push any matters that were unnecessary.
"Are you okay (Your Name)?" Shuhei asks with teary eyes as he watched her wrapped a cut she got from work that day. "I'm okay thanks."
She smiles and sets down some hot soup she warmed up, although there was no rice today.
"What did you do while I was gone?"
"I played out in the fields with some friends."
"Fun, I'm glad you made it back safe."
"Actually... we were almost killed by a hollow."
"What?! Shuhei you could have gotten killed!"
He looks down and starts to cry. "I know, I'm sorry I was so scared. I couldn't do nothing. It was so big and strong. I didn't want to leave you either."
(Your Name) pulls him to an embrace like a mother would and kissed his head. "It's okay you are safe now."
"I met a Captain, and he saved my life. It made me realize that I wanna be a Shinigami when I'm older. I can take care of us and get strong!"
(Your Name) laughs and ruffle his messy hair. "Okay one day, promise me."
"I promise!"
The next morning they were rudely awakened when their door was knocked down and a group of men came in.
Shuhei eyes frighten as (Your Name) became alert and pulled him behind her.
"Your the bitch that sold us the fake metal." One said and grabbed her harshly.
"(Your Name)!" Shuhei yells and runs after her but she stops him.
"Don't come after me!"
He panics and watches as she struggles to get off the grip of the men. They were dragging her somewhere unknown.
"Leave her alone!" Shuhei screams and grabs the stick to hit the men.
Shuhei was sent flying a few feet in the air as they punched him and his nose bleed. He wanted to cry but he was losing (Your Name).
As they dragged her off Shuhei was left with one other dude as he beat Shuhei black and purple.
Lying on the floor (Your Name) was out of sight as he cried and ran to find her.
He screamed and fell to the ground.
Shuhei grips his hand in a fist as he laid in bed looking at the ceiling. He thought about (Your Name) wondering if she ever survived.
Rubbing his eyes he pushed the tears threatening to fall. She had sacrificed everything for them and he couldn't even save her that day.
The next morning Shuhei walked into the publishing office and greeted everyone with a smile. It was a new day and new opportunities waited for him.
"Me and Renji are giving some rookies a tour of Soul Society wanna join me?" Kira asks him as Shuhei had to pass. "Um nah seems kinda boring but good luck though!"
(Your Name) ended up stuck with a group of new comers like her as they toured the place, the blonde dude was kinda bland and gloomy but he showed everyone the important stuff which was the only thing that mattered.
"What squad do you wanna join?" A girl as her as she looked around amazed at the place.
"I'm not sure yet! I guess any that accepts me!"
Passing all the barracks Kira goes into the editing room. "And this is where we publish all the paper work, stories and headlines. The head of editor and chief is Lieutenant of Squad 9."
Shuhei greets everyone and smiles talking about how fun and hard working the publishers are.
(Your Name) looks at him with confusion. He didn't state his name but he looked familiar to her. "My name is Hisagi Shuhei! I can't wait to see what squad everyone joins!"
"What a minute? That's!"
"Okay everyone follow me." Kira boringly says and walks them out as she turns to find Shuhei but he was already gone talking to a few coworkers.
"I guess I'll catch up to him at another time. He's so grown now."
She smiles knowing that he successfully took care of himself. Although the scar and 69 was new.
"(Your Name)?" Shuhei calls out as she washes the rice for them that night.
"Yes?"
"Will you ever leave me for someone else?"
She tilted her head in confusion and laughs. "What do you mean?"
"Like if a guy came and you liked him."
"No silly, we have each other."
"Promise?"
"I promise! Trust me when you get older all the ladies will swoon for you."
"He's so hot!" A few girls giggled to themselves as they continued the tour.
By night time came they entered a dorm place for all new comers. Tomorrow was the day that they picked their squad whether they wanted to be in it or not.
(Your Name) was placed under the 6th squad, which to her seem pretty good because her Captain was a noble and everyone seemed fairly strong. Although she wasn't nearly as good as a seated officer she didn't mind working her way up.
"Abarai Fukutaicho?" She calls out one day as he turns to her. "Um? Do you know where I can talk to Shuhei?"
"Uh?? You mean like the Lieutenant from squad 9? Are y'all close like that?"
"Yes, I'm his childhood friend. We lost contact a long time ago but I just found him."
Renji was bewildered, he didn't know much about Shuhei past but it sounded a lot like him and Rukia so he couldn't reject her.
"Yeah I'll let him know."
Shuhei was in the middle of a rush when Renji walked in. "Yo! Someone was asking for you!"
"Not now! I'm kinda busy." Shuhei states skimming through the papers rangiku messed up on.
"It's (Your Name) she really wants to see you." Renji says as Shuhei drops the papers and looks up shocked. "You mean it?!"
"Yes, like she's in my squad and everything."
"Where?! Where is she!" Shuhei yells with a big smile on his face as he gets up from his desk.
"Woah woah calm down!" She's over at the fields training-" without letting Renji finish his sentence he made a run for it.
Renji smiles and scoffs. He was happy knowing that the reunion was going to be a good one.
Shuhei saw her with her sword training hard as she sweated and concentrated on her spiritual energy. "(Your Name)!" He yells out as she turns to him.
She smiles and ran towards him as they pull each other in a embrace.
"Shuhei! You're so grown now!" She says and he crushes her with his inhuman strength now. "Well you're so tiny!"
They let go as they both couldn't stop smiling. "How?" He says as she sat on the grass as he took a seat next to her.
"Remember when they took me, I managed to escape but we were so far away I couldn't find the way back home."
Shuhei groans and looks down. "If only I was strong back then, I would have saved you."
"It's fine, you were a kid. I don't blame you."
He smiles softly as she touches his face and he starts to blush. "What happen to your face?" She asks with concern.
"Don't worry, just battles and the 69 is something I got from the man that saved my life. He's actually my captain now."
She laughs and lets go. "Well you succeeded, now you can protect me from now on."
2 years later
"Why don't you tell her!" Hinamori pouts at Shuhei trying to push him into the restaurant.
"Be-because it's weird! She was like an older sister to me."
"But you like her right?" Rangiku jumps in unintentionally popping her breast out as Shuhei looks away in awkwardness.
"Better tell her before someone else beats you to it." Kira adds looking into the restaurant spotting (Your Name) dressed in a nice kimono waiting for a certain childhood friend.
"Come on! Renji even asked Kuchiki Taicho to reserve the best restaurant in Seireitei right now!" Hinamori says making Shuhei feel a bit guilty that Renji made the effort to beg his captain.
"Oh fine fine fine! I was going to do it my own pace but since everyone is telling me to."
Shuhei takes a deep breath and enters the restaurant.
"Shuhei!" She calls and waves him over.
"Sorry I'm late, how was your day?"
"It was good! I can't believe you got a place like this for us!"
Shuhei sweats a bit and drinks some water before answering. "Yeah me too."
"Ahh little Shuhei is so handsome now." (Your Name) smiles and push the messy part front of his hair away from his eyes.
He blushes and grabs her hands with his. "You've grown to a fine lady also... but you kept your promise."
"What promise?"
"Remember when we were little, I didn't want you to leave me for another man."
(Your Name) laughs and covers her mouth with her free hand and tighten her grip with his hand.
"Of course, why would I want anyone else?"
"I wouldn't want anyone else but you (Your Name)." Shuhei confesses as she drops her smile.
They had been through so much she could see a life with him and he could see a future with her. A future with laughter and happiness where they no longer starved or lived poor.
"I'm making enough money for us and I'm strong enough to protect you now. That means I'm the man I told you I wanted to be and the man you deserve to have."
She chuckles and set their hands down on the table as she rubs it softly.
"Always, I don't see why we wouldn't work out. The future tied us back together."
Shuhei grins like the child he once use to be and boldly kisses her from across the table.
"I've been waiting for this for years, our first kiss."
"And many to come." (Your Name) adds with a blush.
#bleach#tite kubo#hisagi shuhei#shuhei hisagi#bleach shuhei#renji abarai#abarai renji#kensei muguruma#izuru kira#kira izuru#momo hinamori#hinamori momo#rangiku matsumoto#matsumoto rangiku#bleach x reader#bleach oneshot#bleach oneshots
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