cant believe no ones asked about cross's smoochability yet

Well guys, it looks like we’ve got our first perfect score! Cross got a rating of 12 out 12, so he’s the perfect candidate to be smooched

1) Is Cross’s mouth dangerous at all? From what I know, he has these tiny little fangs, as opposed to the standard flat teeth that most Sanses seem to have. His fangs could poke your lips, but not enough to do seriously injure you or draw blood, so that being said, his mouth is safe. 2 points for mouth safety

2) Would he bite? Not intentionally. I could see him maybe nipping a little on accident if the kiss is done in more of a clumsy sort of way, but he doesn’t seem like someone who’d purposely bite super hard with the intention of causing pain. Is he aggressive? He can be if the situation calls for it, since he’s not afraid to put his foot down. Most of the time and in casual settings though, no, I don’t see him as being an aggressive person. That being said, he gets 2 points for being nice and exercising self control

3) Are there any health hazards to the smoocher? That we know of, no there’s not. He’s clean and he keeps up with his hygiene, he’s not leaking gross fluids everywhere, and while he does carry weapons, he’s a former guard, so I’d assume he knows how to be safe about how he carries and handles them, to avoid accidentally hurting anyone. X!Gaster manipulating him in Underverse aside, I don’t see any health hazards about him, so there’s 2 more

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? From what I know about him and his whole story, he has a very fragmented relationship with his brother, because he wanted his own identity outside of being a Sans, and Paps didn’t really seem to fully grasp that. I could be missing details about their relationship, but I just know they don’t get along. Then there’s the issue with X!Gaster being a horrible father who was never there for either of his sons. He was emotionally absent, and he seemed entirely unconcerned about them (just from what I’ve seen and what I know). So right there, Cross has this horrible family structure; he’s got both sibling issues and daddy issues. Then from the little information I can recall right now, he got into it with Error and nearly died somehow, and then he was manipulated into working for Nightmare. Which… as much as I like Nightmare, he’s not a nice person. Cross went from a very shaky home environment, to a very shaky work environment, where he couldn’t really count on anyone. His only friend for a while was Ink, but we see how well that went over in Underverse. Things started to turn around for him when he left Nightmare and started working with Dream instead, but there’s no doubt that he probably still has a lot of residual trauma from everything. So for points, I think he deserves 2. His upbringing and backstory in general was super rough and there were areas that were very tragic for him, no doubt

5) Does he deserve a smooch? In short,, yes, absolutely. He had a very rough upbringing and it probably took a bit for him to actually open up to anyone, but rather than letting that consume him and turning completely bad and evil because of it, he made the choice to be better than that. He still had anxiety and probably some other issues too, but he chose to walk away from the toxic environment that was working for Nightmare. He walked away, and he went with Dream, who made him feel like more of an equal, and less of a subordinate. Cross walked away and made the choice to be better than his former boss and teammates, which paved the way for a somewhat brighter future. He made the right choices and he has my respect for that, so he gets 2 points

6) Is Cross cute or cool? He can be a cutie from time to time, and I do like his design, since the monochrome look is unique to him, I think. There are probably other Sanses that are monochrome too, but of them all, I think he’s the most well known. His strength and skills in combat, his laidback personality, and his look (despite being a bit rough around the edges) earn him a full 2 points for coolness

In total, Cross gets a rating of 12. He gets a perfect score! He’s awkward and may not have a lot of kissing experience, but he’s very careful about pretty much everything he does. I feel like if he was smooched, he’d get embarrassed, start blushing, and probably trip over his words for a moment before simply asking why you suddenly smooched him. If you already knew him really well when you chose to plant a kiss on him, he might even awkwardly thank you for it while trying to avoid eye contact, because he’s a bit of a tsundere from time to time like that

Me looking at the thumbnail for every difference in Elden Ring's Unfinished 1.00 video:

Is the game rated M for Mohg? 😋

rated M for Mega-smoochable omens!

Lady Dimitrescu

Romanceability: 1/10 Lady Dimitrescu does not overtly display any romantic behavior. Though she has children, there is no coparent, or any indication towards a romantic partner in any room you can explore. Also, Lady Dimitrescu is a noblewoman and as such may be likely to not have many romantic sensibilities, instead being used to marriage functioning as a tool of politics. She receives one point only because there technically isn't any explicit information denying romantic behavior.

Boinkability: 4/10 Lady Dimitrescu does not overtly display any sexual behavior. She does receive five points based purely on vibes. As a rule, all vampires contain a baseline level of boinkability, and in addition to her monstrous form's tentacles, this is quite powerful. However, since she is implied to have cut off genitals before, this may indicate a distaste towards sex. Since this is an implication by an untrustworthy character, she only loses one point.

Smoochability: 5/10 She would bite your face and probably kill you but this might not be a dealbreaker if you're into that. Half marks.

Murderability: 10/10 Very murder. She would be perfectly willing to kill y/n, and would likely turn your blood into wine or something afterwards.

Smackability: 9/10 She does not seem to particularly enjoy violence above every other part of her life, but certainly relishes in it enough to get a solid nine points.

Toxicity: 1/10 She is not particularly manipulative. She is fairly straightforward, even sympathetic. Her main goals are to survive, which she must consume humans to do, to take care of her daughters, who must also consume humans, and to satisfy Miranda, though she will tragically never be able to achieve this. She is not underhanded, jealous, or dishonest. She does appear to believe she is superior to humans, especially men, but also displays a small amount of insecurity, enough that she is not clearly narcissistic. One point for posterity alone.

In conclusion: Lady Dimitrescu receives a murder score of 1.0. He would literally kill you

An explanation of our rating system is pinned here

everything in my life has led up to watching an hour and a half long youtube video rating how smoochable every fnaf animatronic is

TIME TO RATE MONSTERS ON THEIR SMOOCHABILITY! Link below!

Final result?

Hey Polly, wanna rate the Star Sanses 1-10 on smoochability?~

Polly: Negative 10 all across the board. Directly to jail, do not pass Go do not collect 200 bucks--

Polly: ... They not listening now? Okay good-

Polly: In all honesty I'd give Blue a lil kiss. Maybe like, 4/10. Dream is kinda cute too, bout a 6/10. Ink though? Lil shit annoys me. 1/10.

💋😏

SEND “💋” AND MY MUSE WILL SAY HOW SMOOCHABLE YOUR MUSE IS FROM 1-10

I will go ahead and rate you 15/10.

Because your lips are so damn kissable, wildcat. And I don't fucking care I broke the scale for you.

💋

✨ @gorillicious. meme. still accepting!    

Holding hands was nice. It was warm and comforting, a gentle reminder of their connection. The fingers intertwined, their palms pressing against each other, it was as if they were exchanging their life force through their touch—the silence between them was filled with an unspoken understanding, a sense of belonging. The cart ladies, wheeling around small dishes of food, moved around their table to serve the other patrons; surprisingly, the restaurant was almost empty minus a group of six women celebrating a friend’s divorce in the corner. And, an old man hunched over his laptop. Catching up on the news.

Virote and Gel had gone through small plate after small plate, kettles of barley tea emptied. The only thing they had left to get through was a bowl of almond jelly. ❝We've never kissed, but sometimes I think about it,❞ he admitted, sneaking in a little smile.

❝We've never kissed, but sometimes I think about it. How it'd be like...❞ It'd be like the sensation of like a shooting star exploding, he figured.  The embrace would be like a wild bouquet, entwined like the vines of a morning glory; it’d be something powerful and full of... Not love. Not yet. Something like love, though. ❝On a basic scale, like, I'm sure your kisses would rate a billion. You’re smoochable. I’d kiss you dozens of times. I’d kiss you for hours.❞ His grips on Gel’s hands tightened a little. ❝Do you ever feel the same way?❞

💋 from Warwick for Silco, I need the opposite rating now

HOW SMOOCHABLE YOUR MUSE IS FROM 1-10: Still accepting.

This one was the one that made Silco do a spit take. Coffee half down his throat suddenly shot out across half his desk as he stared at the note. “What? Smooch...What? Who is sending these? Why?” Staring at it in disbelief Silco looked sincerely confused for a moment. This time unlike the time someone had asked him about sex with Warwick he was not drunk, unfortunately.

At that moment he wished he was.

A long soft sigh came from him as he leaned back a bit. Closing his eyes Silco actually decided to consider things for a moment. The memories Warwick had, and the confusing emotions Silco had concerning all of that. What Vander had been like to kiss. What it might be like with a huge fanged wolf man, and unable to really picture that the image shifted to playful bites and nibbles and nuzzles. Warwick had came to his defense once already, and they were irrevocably connected be it through Jinx or memories or whatever else. Opening his eyes Silco considered letting go for once of so many emotions, and simply… being side by side with the wolf and being close with him. A hand tapped at the desk as Silco’s eyes grew distant truly considering it, and one important question. Could he feel safe enough to do that with… but Warwick wasn’t Vander. Warwick didn’t look, or smell, or talk like Vander. He shared memories with Vander yes, but Warwick wasn’t Vander and so far hadn’t done anything in particular to put Silco particularly ill at ease. The idea of his hands sliding through Warwick’s fur, and a little nibble and Warwick’s teeth gently moving along his shoulder finally made him let out an almost irritated grumble.

“Fine, fine, damn you all. Seven, no… Eight? Eight. Seven...Seven and a half… More than seven, less than nine. Eight, I guess, for simplicities sake.”

Now he was going to wonder off and on through the rest of the day what it would feel like.

💋 ofc Oz

Smooch Ratings [Accepting]

"Easy ten. Oz is very smoochable. I should probably give him one right now."

hello dear lover of mine and the owner of my heart i am here to provide your daily bunny video

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CgrXxflAdZH/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= very very smoochable me thinks

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CfrQfuQojW7/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y= also i thought you should see this old cute tippy tap tap fella because isn't he adorable

Nooo a messy eater (´⌣`ʃƪ) ♥ my heart can't take this anymore and the dog?? No don't tempt me babe don't do that to me we'll become a zoo at this rate not that I'll mind if u know what I mean 👀👀👀👀👀

As a Killer simp, I feel compelled to ask about your thoughts on Killer's smoochability

Killer's smooch-ability rating is a 3 out of 12, and if you're at all interested in my reasoning, feel free to read below the cut :P

1) How dangerous is Killer's mouth? His teeth aren't sharp or jagged, they're flat, so violent personalities and habits aside, I feel like his mouth is relatively safe. Y'know, assuming he's in a decent mood at the time of the smooching. 1 point for this, because his mouth is safe, but he himself is not

2) Would he bite, and how aggressive is he? Killer does just what his name states: he kills them. That being said, he also hallucinates from time to time, so we know he's not in his right mind. I feel like if he felt compelled to, he would absolutely bite. Because of his murderous nature, we can also count on him being pretty aggressive, so sadly, no points here

3) Would there be any health hazards to the smoocher? Aside from his physical strength as a monster, his magical abilities, and the knife he seems to regularly carry around, I'd also be concerned about his liquid hate tears situation. Because his "tears" are made of liquid hate, I have no idea what that could do to a person's health, so I'm deeming it a potential health hazard. Again, he gets no points for this area

4) Does he have a sympathetic backstory? From what I understand of Killertale, he agreed to work with Chara willingly and ended up killing everyone in his own au, including his own Papyrus. One could argue that he had valid reasons for that choice or that he probably saw no other way to handle the resets and everything that was going on, but at the end of the day, they we just that: a conscious choice that he made. Instead of continuing to resist or seek help from others, he killed everyone around him. So... I love Killer, but he's not getting any sympathy points, sad to say

5) Does he deserve a smooch? Frankly.... no, I don't think he does. Yes, he can be helpful (mostly to Nightmare whenever Nightmare manages to persuade him or puts him in a position where he can't say no), and he can be funny at times, but I don't think those things would earn him a smooch

6) Is he cute or cool? I'd say he's a pretty cool guy and he's got a neat design, so I definitely see the appeal of him. I'd give him 2 points here, I'd say

In total, he gets a 3. He's charming and he's a flirt, but smooching him would be like the equivalent of trying out reddit 50/50 irl. There's a 50% chance it'll be the best kiss of your life, or a 50% chance that you'll get maimed the instant he processes what just happened (or you might be affected by the liquid hate somehow). He'd be momentarily stunned, but I feel like he's not exactly a safe option, as he's violent and may stab you if he sees an opening or thinks killing you would be beneficial. Again, I love him, I'm just trying to rate him as fairly as possible without any bias or anything

him

he looks like a gothitelle. 10/10, first-glance smoochable rating off the charts

Harley Quinn

Romanceability: 7/10 Harley Quinn has an unusual high level of romanceability, being somewhat defined by throwing herself into a relationship with the Joker. She would be very likely to go on dates and be charmed by thoughtful gifts or gestures (as displayed when she forgave the Joker for shoving her out a window once he left her a flower and a card). However, since she is generally quite singularly focused on the Joker, she may be difficult (though not impossible) to sway to the attentions of y/n, and therefore loses some points.

Boinkability: 5/10 While she is not display any overt sexual behavior, there is nothing to indicate she would not. Half marks.

Smoochability: 9.5/10 She does do some onscreen smooching and is presumably quite capable of doing so some more. She even smooches non-Joker people! Altogether very promising chances.

Murderability: 8/10 She often attempts murder and would presumably be more successful if she were not being constantly thwarted. Some of the murder she wants to do, and some of it she does because the Joker wants to. Either way, murder is murder. Since there are times where she does show mercy and choose not to murder someone, she gets two points off.

Smackability: 10/10 She would beat you up just for fun. Probably with a comedically oversized juggling baton or something like that.

Toxicity: 4/10 She tends to be more likely to be the recipient of toxic behavior rather than the perpetrator, and is generally a pretty straightforward person. However, she does display intense jealousy in relationships and the roots of manipulation tactics, and so scores a few points.

In conclusion: Harley Quinn receives a murder score of 0.05. He would probably not kill you

>It should be noted that these judgements are made based on information in Batman: the Animated Series and to a lesser extent in the Harley Quinn comics. Any information in the comics series that directly conflicts with the animated series canon will be discarded.<

An explanation of our rating system is pinned here

SEND IN YOUR JESTERS AND I WILL RATE THEM ON SMOOCHABILITY

💋

SEND “💋” AND MY MUSE WILL SAY HOW SMOOCHABLE YOUR MUSE IS FROM 1-10

Arisu you too? Didn't expect this from you... so at least you managed to surprise me once.

I will rate you 7/10.