#simon could have been annoying but he’s just so sweet and funny
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Paul as Jonathan Vishnevski in Fish, Episode Five: Love's Labours Lost (2000).
#jack stanley was a great little actor#simon could have been annoying but he’s just so sweet and funny#and had a great rapport with paul#who as we know is wonderful with kids#paul mcgann#fish#amanda walker#jemma redgrave#jack stanley#my gifs#i want that house with the spiral staircase
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Okayyyy rewatched Wish
Here are my notes
Valentino wasn’t as annoying as people say. Sure, he did nothing for the plot and could’ve been removed entirely, but he didn’t make near as many butt jokes as people say he did
The lead-ins for all the songs were great. Certain media (Hazbin, for example) just jump into the songs
Magnifico??? Didn’t touch the pages??? So why would he be corrupted? Why does Amaya know of obsidian oil? Don’t you just skim the pages to release the evil?
Dahlia was amazing
“At the very least break the hold it has on him” Amaya? Didn’t you found this kingdom with thin? Wouldn’t you know?
Also Amaya was very sidelined. Where’s her backstory?
Asha’s magic wand mishaps were… corny at best
Why did they make Dario high all the time? He’s not stupid. I feel like they made him try to be like Fred from Big Hero 6 but failed
“Nine zillyboo, twenty alphabet!” Val, buddy. No.
DAHLIA. MATE. TRUE LOVE’S KISS CAN BRUNG HIM BACK I swear, it feels like the directors were switched
The spider-carriage thing. I feel like that could’ve been a Disney reference instead
Gabo was still my favorite out of the teens. Bazeema was sweet too
Also. Halzeema moments were actually in canon.
Sabino did not act 100 at all.
Crushing wishes did nothing to people except make them sad for .2 seconds
Asha’s drawing, her magic wand, none of that was important to the actual plot
I feel like the horses could’ve been Disney references too
Why did the roof open? That was never explained
Mag’s hair needed to be messier. Evil Magnifico? Crazy hair
How did he hear them from all the way down there
Mag’s really out there beating up a minor
The curse rope green things were not scary at all
Was Simon just in the forest the entire time?
The Magnifico getting sucked inside his staff… I feel that could’ve been a play to Dr. Facilier somehow
The stars raining down were beautiful
Was Star’s nose tap a reference to something?
The people’s talking… idk how I felt about that
WE 👏 SHOULD’VE 👏 SEEN 👏 SAKINA’S 👏 WISH
Another half-assed apology. First Namaari, now you. At least Simon’s was an actual apology. Wait. More of it goes on.
Ok his apology isn’t too bad
How did the staff get all the way down there?
Changed my opinion, Amaya deserved to tell Mag off
Did Mag’s curse break once he was in the mirror? Why did he act sad all of a sudden?
I’ve heard Asha’s movements weren’t finalized until later, but her movements seem pretty fluent
Clumsy and energetic, sure, but besides from the mouth drooping part, she wasn’t that quirky
Which. Could be a bad thing. She didn’t really have much of a personality
I like the Peter Pan building a flying machine idea
Zootopia ref
DARIO. SHUT UP
Why does everyone suddenly understand Star
But off-topic they were so cute
“It” I guess
Why refer to Star as an it
“They” was too woke for the Disney execs? Why, you had a one-second offhand comment about a water cousin who’s nonbinary!
That Cinderella-reference thing… wasn’t slow enough to be a dress transformation. So I’m fine with her not having a different dress. I mean obviously I would’ve loved it but idk
SHOW DON’T TELL, DISNEY
STOP TELLING
“I understand you well enough” I DON’T! HOW ARE THEY TELLING YOU
Some of Valentino’s jokes were funny. Sue me
I liked the Tinkerbell and Mikey Mouse reference at the end
The storybook was a nice callback
The credits should’ve been moving. Also CHOOSE BAYMAX TO REPRESENT BIG HERO 6. WHY HAVE VILLAINS LIKE MALEFICENT THERE
Overall. Not as bad as people are making it out to be. But definitely not worthy to be Disney’s 100
I’d say… 7/10. The backgrounds did look watercolor, but the shading seemed off in places. Especially Sakina. There was major improvement to be done, but with the hell the execs were giving (and the proven creativity of the concept art) I feel this movie is getting too much hate. Critiques and criticism are fine. But don’t blame the writers for getting rid of Starboy. Yes, it could’ve been better. But it’s Disney. And the creators tried their best to pour their love into a movie that they didn’t have a full say in.
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Okay so the request issss: basically for some unmentioned reason (unless you can think of one 👀) the 141 boys + reader are on a vacation of sorts and they all have to ride in the same vehicle. just something soft and sweet and maybe some funny 🫡 you can run wild with this and add whatever, but road-trip times with the 141 LETS GOOOO *foaming at the mouth* oh! and thank you so much :D, have a nice day and i love ur fics btw
here you go bestie. road trip with the 141. platonically. or not. depends on how you read them.
send a request!
simon 'ghost' riley
He breaks into your snack aisle reverie, boots squeaking against the freshly waxed gas station floor. You're hunched over, fingers trailing against every snack on the bottom row. Your other hand is full, the snacks are precariously held against your chest.
"You haven't picked anything yet?"
"There's an art to road trip snacks, L.T.."
"That so?"
You ignore the blatant sarcasm in his voice; your back cracks as you push yourself upright. Ghost reaches out to grab a chocolate bar from the counter and tucks it into the mountain of snacks you're already holding.
"Is that all for you?"
"Screw you L.T.; for your information, this is for all of us. I have to make sure that all of you have something to eat when you get hangry. The last time Gaz didn't eat a damn snack he was so annoying I almost smothered him with my travel pillow."
Ghost follows you to the counter where you dump the pile of snacks on the counter. You dig in your pocket for your card, pushing past all the snack wrappers you'd taken from Soap already. You have it half out of your pocket before Ghost manages to step in your way, his own card already in the card reader.
The cashier pushes your bags across the counter towards you; Ghost takes them with one hand.
"Come on L.T. I could have paid for it."
"Just say thank you."
You huff, ducking under his arm as he holds the door open for you.
"Thank you. I guess."
john price
The concrete is warm beneath your back - the air so still it feels like everything around you has frozen. The far-off headlights of cars on the highway illuminate the pool for a brief second every time one drives by the motel; the lights disappear as they pass by the motel.
"Shouldn't you be getting some sleep?"
Price's voice doesn't startle you; you'd been waiting on someone else to find you lying beside the pool, feet dipped into the warm, still water. Sleep doesn't come easy around the 141 - and it's not unusual for you all to stay up all night together.
"Shouldn't you," you quip back, lifting one foot out of the water before dropping it back down to make a splash, "you have to drive tomorrow. I can sleep in the back and drool on Soap the entire time."
Price groans as he lowers himself down beside you, his feet dropping heavily into the warm water.
"I got enough sleep."
Without thinking, you reach up to trace patterns against Price's back. Under your fingers, his muscles tense and roll before he finally relaxes underneath your touch.
"You need to get a fucking tan Cap.. You're positively ghostly. You're glowing."
Price shoots you a look of poison before leaning over to look at your legs, dangling in the water beside his.
"Your tan's not looking all that well either."
"Well if someone would ever give me time off to go spend time outside, I could fix that."
Price lowers himself down beside you, hands crossed on his chest. The silence between the two of you stretches, filled with the distant sound of tires on asphalt and the gentle ripple of the pool as you move your feet.
You turn to say something else to Price, but his eyes are closed. He twitches once in his sleep, mustache fluttering as he breathes out. You roll your eyes at him before turning back on your back. You'll let him sleep for a bit before waking him up.
kyle 'gaz' garrick
Ghost nearly tips the car as he turns it, slamming you into Gaz in the backseat. Up front, Soap is yelling at Ghost to learn how to fuckin' drive.
Your stomach is rolling at the motion of Ghost's shit driving as you push yourself off of Gaz.
"Can someone else fucking drive?" You ask irritably, ignoring the way Ghost shoots you a look in the rearview mirror.
Gaz laughs, extending his bag of chips toward you. You shake your head at him, propping your feet up on the center console.
"I can't eat. With this driving, I might throw up everywhere."
"I think the more we complain, the worse he drives," Gaz says under his breath, shoving the bag of chips into his duffle crammed at his feet.
"Well if he keeps driving like this, I'm going to fucking throw up all over him."
"Take a nap. Then you won't feel sick."
You gesture to the two men up front, arguing about which turn to take up the road.
"I'm supposed to sleep in this?"
Gaz shrugs once, a quick 'that's fair'. You lean your head against the cool window, trying to think around the sounds of everyone talking.
A sharp turn pulls you to your senses, but when you sit up it's not from the cool class window, but the soft warmth of someone's lap. Above you, Gaz scrolls through his phone, oblivious to the fact that you're awake.
Up front, Soap and Ghost are quiet - the only sound is the hum of the air conditioning and the low tones of the radio on the lowest setting. You readjust yourself; Gaz's hand comes down on your shoulder to keep you in place. You're pulled back under to sleep by the warmth of him.
johnny 'soap' mctavish
You're tortured by the sound of Price's snoring. You realized twenty minutes after he fell asleep why the rest of the team forced you to share the tiny, musty hotel room with him. His snoring had the exact tone and timbre of a half rusted chainsaw cutting through metal.
You flop over with a huff, folding the pillow around your head to try to drown out the tortuous sound. You're almost certain this is how prisoners have been tortured in the past.
After an hour, you give in.
Price doesn't wake as you sneak the car keys off of his night stand and slip out of the room. Your blanket drags the ground as you step into the still night air; at least you can get some decent sleep in the car.
You jerk open the passenger side door, ready to crawl in and get some sleep. You're not expecting to come face to face with Johnny, curled up on his side, one eye cracked open to peer at you beneath his lashes.
"Price was snoring." He says, with a half grin as you shut the door in his face to climb into the back seat.
"Why are you here?" You ask shoving everyone's stuff onto the floor so that you can stretch out on the seat, toes hitting the door.
"Same reason you are."
You lay in the back seat, trying to force yourself to fall asleep; but the sound of Johnny's soft breath and the travelers on the highway behind you are enough to keep you awake.
"How did you get in here? Price had the keys?"
Johnny huffs at you trying to make midnight conversation, but he answers, voice muffled beneath his blanket.
"L.T. has the spare set. I took it out of his bag earlier today just in case."
"I'll remember to do that to Price tomorrow."
It's silent again until -
"Johnny?"
He huffs again, and you know that you're getting on his nerves.
"What?"
"Good-night."
He doesn't say it back. You turn, pulling your blanket above your head, Johnny's soft breathing lulling you to sleep.
#i have tried formatting this times#i'm going to scream#my fics#ghost cod#simon ghost riley#ghost#ghost cod x reader#simon riley x reader#ghost cod x you#kyle gaz garrick#johnny soap mactavish#john price#captain john price#cod fanfic
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Rewatching ML Season 1
Stormy Weather: I’ve totally forgotten that Chat Noir can see in the dark.
The Bubbler: We can see a bit of Gabriel’s abuse. Adrien mentions that his father gave him a pen for his birthday three times in a row, and we know Emilie died several months ago, so Gabriel didn’t become a neglectful parent after Emilie’s death. I think that Emilie was ill for a long time and Gabriel’s A+ parenting started long before her death. Adrien probably pretended to his ill mother that everything was fine.
Timebreaker: Chat Noir sacrifices himself for Ladybug.
The Pharaoh: It basically tells us Gabriel’s plan: to make a magical human sacrifice to bring back his dead wife. (And Ladybug stops him from doing that every time.)
Mr Pigeon: It’s funny that Marinette doesn’t find it suspiscious that both Chat Noir and Adrien are allergic to feathers.
Lady WiFi: Adrien doesn’t seem thrilled with Alya’s idea that Chloé is Ladybug.
The Evilustrator: There’s a bit of Marichat! And a little sign of Adrienette as Adrien tries to impress Marinette and is interested in her reaction to Chat Noir, unlike Chloé’s.
Rogercop: The Burguois’ are terrible.
Horrificator: Adrien is annoyed with Chloé and pulls away from her when she tries to kiss him, but he has nothing against kissing Marinette. Why does Juleka keep fixing his make-up?!
Dark Cupid: Adrien writing a love poem is funny. And he sacrifices himself again for Ladybug.
The Origins - Part 1: Cool episode, no particular thoughts.
The Origins - Part 2: I think it was Nathalie who convinced Gabriel to let Adrien go to school.
Copy Cat: —
The Mime: There’s a short Ladrien moment.
Princess Fragrance: —
Darkblade: Adrien is so happy that Marinette decided to run for class president, so I think that later he’s messing with her when he says that he’ll vote for her if she gives a good speech.
Animan: Adrien helping Nino date Marinette is sweet. Could Nino have a crush on Marinette because Adrien’s been talking how awesome she is? Chat Noir looks at Marinette’s family photo with fascination. Apparently he has very good hearing.
Simon Says: Many Ladrien moments and another bit of Gabriel’s abuse. Gabriel realises his son could be Chat Noir, flies like a butterfly (that’s not related) and hugs Adrien.
Pixelator: Adrien is stuck with Chloé and is clearly uncomfortable with her constantly grabbing his arm.
Guitar Villain: Adrien putting Chloé in the lift is hilarious.
The Gamer: Marinette and Adrien are finally spending some time together and Marinette gives him her lucky bracelet. Poor Adrien just wants to eat something, but Marinette doesn’t let him. He says Marinette has nice parents (unlike him, as we know). Chat Noir shows off a bit before Marinette. Just after she claims that he’s selfish, he helps some civilians.
Reflekta: I’ve heard opinions that Adrien is enabling Chloé and he is not, he has no power over her. She doesn’t listen to him and just wants him as her trophy boyfriend. Whatever Adrien has been doing during his photo sessions, it hasn’t involved wearing high-heeled shoes.
Puppeteer: Gabriel is Akumatising children now. Chat Noir is yet again possessed by the villain.
Antibug: Chloé’s had one helpful moment and now Adrien is happy that Marinette isn’t as hostile towards her as she used to be. I think it shows Adrien’s way of thinking in general. Gabriel hugged him once, so he couldn’t be a bad father, could he?
Kung Food: Marinette and Adrien are again spending time together. Adrien suspects that Chloé could have spoilt the soup and later mocks her. Good for him.
Volpina: I didn’t remember that Lila appeared in season 1. I think that she’s never cared about Adrien and he’s just a means to an end. I like how Adrien starts talking to Ladybug like he was Chat Noir and then realises that he shouldn’t be talking like that as Adrien. Marinette should now be convinced that whenever Adrien is stressed out, he takes a shower. Instead of a beret, she should later give him a towel. Adrien says that his father’s anger is worse than fighting Hawk Moth.
Next: Rewatching ML Season 2
#miraculous ladybug#ml season 1#gabriel agreste#chat noir#marichat#nathalie sancoeur#ladrien#chloe burgeois#lila rossi#ml analysis#adrienette
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I was slightly disappointed to get to the August 2017 episodes of the Elis and John radio show, and find that they took a couple of weeks off at that point, so we only got two episodes with John broadcasting from Edinburgh. Which is entirely understandable and he was very busy doing an award-winning hour full of jokes and the cynical inclusion of emotional heft, but still, I wanted to know what it was like. I enjoyed the little audio diary he gave us every week during the 2015 Edinburgh Festival, and enjoyed the two weeks we got from 2017 even though we didn't hear from the end. I enjoy it when a radio show becomes an audio diary from the Edinburgh Festival. Howard and Richardson in 2007. Lee and Herring in 1994. Bit of history.
My interest in that particular type of history is why I very much need to thank @oxymoronish for alerting me to the fact that the internet still has archives of something that could not be more perfectly tailored to my interests. Edinburgh history. Specifically, Chocolate Milk Gang-era Edinburgh history. Festival diaries. John Robins being young and pointlessly intense and a bit annoying but also full of youthful earnest wonder that's borderline sweet. Apparently during the 2007 Edinburgh Festival, John Robins wrote a blog for Chortle. I have been told that this blog once included video clips, including video of the knife he kept next to his bed, and I am of course furious that I have been denied video footage of 25-year-old John Robins showing us the knife he kept next to his bed to ward off Scottish intruders, but it's all right because there are so many textual diary entries to be getting on with. I have of course saved the PDFs.
Opens with a story about losing So You Think You're Funny in 2005, getting drunk with the other competitors and getting glared at by Dara O'Brien for quoting Father Ted too loudly, tells this story as though it's one of when he was an obnoxious kid and he's glad he's now more mature and not like that, even though this is only two years later and he then goes on to describe himself being similarly annoying throughout the 2007 festival as well. Goes into a story about how he'd planned to not drink all month but that lasted 13 hours. Then how he came up two days early to save nine pounds but the extra two days ended up costing him a lot more than that, and then a story about buying a human skeleton on eBay as a gift for his girlfriend. Classic Robins.
Two references to fantasy novels (a mention of listening to the Lord of the Rings audiobooks, and comparing hanging out with older comedians in Edinburgh to getting sorted into Gryffindor). Several instances of that thing John Robins like doing on the radio, slipping quickly into character when he complains about something and then right back out of it, which it turns out works less well in text where we can't hear the voice change. A running thread of obsession with the TV show 24. Complaining that Brook's Bar, which he misspelled, is overrated and the only redeeming part of it is you can stare at Simon Amstell. Quite a lot of spelling mistakes, on this blog that he published on Chortle, coming from a guy who, on his radio show, occasionally makes fun of Steve Bennett's inability to spell. Which I enjoy, because I am also amazed that Steve Bennett gets away with running a professional website while not knowing how to write, but it does make it more hypocritical when it turns out that John Robins has contributed spelling errors to Chortle (I am not a hypocrite because no one pays me for my Tumblr blog so it's fine to spell things wrong on that).
One account of how he got to chat to Tom Binns and was very excited about that, so I'm just going to pretend that's not there, like I do every time on the radio show that John and Elis plug Russell Brand's radio work (that one's objectively worse, as no one knew about Tom Bins in 2007 but I think people knew about Russell Brand in 2017, though obviously John and Elis were just told by Radio X that they had to cross-promote). Anyway, the Binns story does lead to John saying: "I never saw stand up as an option until I was 21, but new I had to be involved in comedy, and that was because of Bottom, Lee and Herring and Armando Iannucci et al." Which I found interesting - I mean I knew he was a huge Partridge fan, but it's interesting to hear him specifically mention Stewart Lee as a person he liked, back in 2007.
Selected my walk on music etc today, which is all very minor yet exciting. I'm increasingly aware that my preparation for Edinburgh this year has been more financial than artistic. Unfortunately due to the nature of gigs in July it was easier to make nice money than play nice gigs. June/July is a hard time if you're A. unsigned and B. not doing a solo show, as there are no uni gigs, a lot of places just do previews for hour shows and you've no lovely agent to sort
you out weekends at nice clubs. But such is life. At least i can eat like a king if i perform like a cockend.
I don't know why I'm so fascinated by the logistics of Edinburgh performing, but I am and I like how many little bits like this are in there to let us know how that works. Older and wiser John Robins does sometimes tell stories about his early comedy years, and said stories make it sound like it involved a lot of picking music and being bitter about not having an agent, so this tracks.
There's one part where he gets somehow locked into his bedroom while drunk, can't get out when hungover the next morning, pees in a bin due to not having bathroom access, goes on a brief and entirely unnecessary tangent about whether the Scottish accent is sexually appealing, and then it escalates very quickly to sleeping with a knife beside his bed in case whatever intruder locked him in his bedroom comes back to murder him. Classic Robins.
There are multiple parts where he mentions that he's going to slow down on the drinking because the festival is too long to be doing too much drinking, always immediately followed by more stories about drinking a lot. Classic Robins.
A whole lot of complaining about places being too loud and too crowded and too busy. Used the word "schmoozing" to describe a thing he does not like to do. Classic Robins.
Oh, at one point, during the first week of the festival, he suddenly tells an absolutely insane story of a fellow comic (whom he goes out of his way to not name) got much too drunk, made an idiot of himself at the bar, went outside, yelled some anti-Scottish abuse at some locals, and then story escalates very quickly to where the locals start beating him up and John and some friends intervene and pull him out of there covered in blood. What the fuck? How have I not heard John tell that story before?
It’s the kind of thing you only imagine doing when you’re brain won’t sit still at night; “God, imagine if I shouted ‘Fuck you all’ at a
funeral, or went to a Millwall game and called them all fags”. It’s not just social suicide, but increasingly physical suicide that I am watching. As the punches and kicks are thrown we wade in to stop the trouble, in the slightly awkward position of being totally sympathetic with the people who are kicking the shit out of him. One minute they were buying chips, the next being called “foreign cunts” and being told to “speak English” in their own country. He didn’t mean these things, but says them to achieve the desired effect: self destruction. As Burgess said, and never truer than now, “destruction’s our ode to joy”.
As we break it up, and shelter our colleague away from the gathering crowd, tears fall from his battered face, and now I properly see myself in his little boy lost eyes. I know that burning need to feel something, anything, other than what you’re feeling inside. In a former life I’d have put my fist through a door, or smashed a bottle or jumped through a shop window, something more controlled than letting half a dozen drunk Scots administer the punishment. “We need to get on top of this”, I say to him, and beating in my head is that statement, like a fucking beacon; “the law of love says ‘you are enough’” to be honest this guy is more than enough. But somehow I need to show him that like Phil suggests, he himself, is all he needs to do whatever he wants. That release, the blessed release that comes from being half killed by an angry mob can be found inside you, the law of love says so.
I was about to post the "What are you two fucking talking about?" reaction image here, but that would be disingenuous, as I fully understand what he's talking about here, I understand it extremely well (though I'd like to be clear, I have never yelled "foreign cunts" at people just for eating chips). The difference is that I wouldn't admit that (not on a blog with my real name attached, anyway), while dramatically quoting poetic language used by Anthony Burgess and Phil Kay. What the fuck, John?
Phil Kay was on his mind due to a story from earlier in the post of how he'd been to see Phil Kay's show that night, which is absolutely classic Robins:
It does begin, however, with some of the most beautiful prose I’ve heard in a comedy show. So much so that I have to take out my notebook to write down the statement “the law of love says ‘you are enough’”. Unfortunately Phil sees me do this and takes me for a reviewer. “He might be a journalist” I look up “bang, you’ve missed a bit of the show” he says. I’m wearing headphones round my neck and he riffs on that for a while then moves on. But by now my face is burning and I become his point of focus after delivering set pieces. I feel terrible for the pressure he now seems to think he’s under when there is no need, “I’m not a reviewer Phil! I’m a fan! I’m a worshipper!” but I stay quiet, sit back, and enjoy his remarkable talent.
Older and wiser John Robins is still awkwardly pretentious at times, but I don't think he could ever reach the heights of the earnest absolute mess of pretension that was younger John Robins. Pulled out his notebook to copy down a particularly deep quote during a comedy show, then repeated it back in dramatic fashion while rescuing a guy who was getting beaten up for abhorrent behaviour. Good God.
There's a lot of gushing about how great Pappy's is, mentioning Matthew Crosby in particular, and quite a bit about how great Jon Richardson is. Including relaying a comment from Daniel Kitson about Jon making good comedy, which is odd because I realized as I read that that I'd assumed Daniel Kitson did not like Jon Richardson's comedy, though I have absolutely no idea where that assumption came from and it is probably incorrect so I'll get rid of it. He might have made some comment or other on some old radio show and the sentiment stuck in my mind even if the quote didn't, but it is probably not representative.
There's one part where he gets upset because he lost an "Alan Partridge rap-off" to Matt Forde. He does not explain what a rap-off is, but from context, I think it's a trivia contest of some sort. Or possibly a battle of impressions. Though I don't see why he'd expect to beat Matt Forde at the latter.
And so to the Dome for a drink with Jon Richardson, Sinha, Alex Horne and Rob Deering. If you can name four nicer people to spend your time with then I want to know.
Aww.
The blog posts follow a basic, expected trajectory of starting out exited, getting tired and worn down as it goes along, ending up slightly sick and bitter, then at the very end, rallying back to positivity and getting a bit sappy and sentimental about how great it was and how he's sad he'll never get to perform with those same Comedy Zone partners (Joe Wilkinson, Carl Donnelly, Barry Dodds) again. Ends on:
Here are my top five fringe things:
1. Being told that Matt Crosby had described the ‘Lost Vagueness’ launch party as “a total cunt museum”
2. Doing ‘On Heat’ with Russell, Mark and Jon. Just like old times.
3. Dan Atkinson ending his show by saying “ladies and gentlemen, outside there is someone collecting for an AIDS charity, so PLEASE… don’t give him any money”
4. Pappy’s
5. Richardson getting nominated.
6. Oh yes, and telling a drunk woman heckler who tried to chat me up that "I'd rather fuck a window"
At one point he gets absolutely furious at some people who did an improv performance art piece.
How can you be so vomitously earnest in the face of overwhelming evidence that 'contact improvisation' is, in fact, merely a misspelling of 'look at us, our personalities are made of toilets'? Twelve hours!? TWELVE FUCKING HOURS. You should get the if.commedies panel prize for having the gall not to take your own lives.
The above quote is about 20% of the full rant.
In terms of Classic Robins pointless intensity, nothing is going to beat quoting a poetic Phil Kay line to a man who's just behaved abhorrently and then been beaten up. But I'd like to enter in the "pointless intensity" collection the way he described the time he had a good gig, got too excited about it while drunk after the gig, and then felt bad the next morning for getting too excited:
I didn’t go round telling everyone I was awesome, I was just far too confident in banter to people I don’t know well enough. What a tool. What’s annoying is I like to think I have quite a wise comedy head, in terms of the theory and dealing with the ups and downs, but alcohol, adrenaline and relief are a dangerous combination. It’s just hard to expect people to see that any cockiness only exists in my words, not in my eyes.
What a line. I'm going to start going around telling people that cockiness only exists in my words, not in my eyes.
There are lots of little stories about hanging out with other comedians and watching other people's shows and performing with other people, and I did notice, at some point, that not a single female comedian is referenced in any of the blogs. I'm not saying that as a mark against John Robins or anything, I don't think he was intentionally avoiding them. Just an interesting sign of how much the comedy industry has changed, because I don't think you could write a story about comedy at the Edinburgh Festival today without mentioning any female comedians (not unless you were intentionally avoiding them, anyway). There weren't nearly as many of them back then. Though there were definitely some. You'd think at least once John might have watched Josie Long or something. I think the only women he mentions are his stage manager and some agents at one point.
To be fair, I guess we don't know the makeup of whatever group was doing the performance art piece that made John Robins say "I know deep down there is a nagging feeling you can't quite put your finger on, it's been bugging you for years but you can't get to the bottom of it. Well it took me exactly four seconds to recognise that feeling as being one of total and utter self loathing for carrying on with the charade that you are not a total and utter quim-rag-mouthed charlatan." (I have now quoted more of the rant, but that's still not all of it.) It's possible that there could have been women in that performance art group, so it's not fair to assume he didn't mention any female performers.
John does also mention getting angry and doing rude hand gestures at some comedians for doing rape jokes, so that's nice.
There are a bunch of interesting stories about the comedy itself, performing on/compering a mixed-bill gig instead of doing his own show (Comedy Zone), the ups and downs and figuring out the right rhythms on different nights. The wild fluctuations in crowd numbers and how that affects things. How to know if an environment is better for crowd work or material. One interesting bit, I thought, where he tries some more structured stuff that he thought he could turn into a full hour for the next year, and then realized that you can't do that at a club-style gig where no one wants it.
The whole thing is just so very very relevant to my interests, thank you again for sending it to me, @oxymoronish. Thank God for the internet archive.
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Since you were talking about which Kleypas' heroes are conventionally attractive, what is your ranking for how attractive you find Kleypas' heroes?
I mean, I think that physically all the ones I've read are fuckable. But for me personalllly
Derek Craven--always, forever, every day of the week, Monday though Sunday, breakfast lunch and dinner, anytime anyplace anywhere. I love his physicality, I love his competence, I love his inability to love but also his deep capacity for love, I love his trash sense of interior design, I love his gauche new money nature, I love when he tells Sara he wants to punish her a little.
Kev Merripen--big, self-loathing, feels like he's gonna break her with his giant dick.... yeah, I think I fuck with him
Sebastian St. Vincent--also fucks so hard but he has to overcome the fact that he a) is blond and b) can't fight good, big sins in my book, and the fact that he does speaks to how hard he fucks
McKenna--I really like a revenge plot and I also like that he told her to shut up while he was going down on her
Westcliff--ugly hot, as we've discussed, but the fact that Westcliff can show up in the midst of literally any problem and solve it in five minutes makes him hotter; you'd be like "Westcliff I'm so confused I've had this problem for eight weeks" and he'd just press a button and it would be fixed
Leo Hathaway--always in forever in my heart as a hot man because a) he used to be so sad b) he makes the heroine say pussy in a way that is mildly degrading and I'm about it
Rhys Winterborne--NOT FIVE FUCKING MINUTES is pretty hot, though I will admit that his hairlessness freaks me out. He overcomes this admirably by being hot in every other way, and I also like that he's like, a Kohl's King
Simon Hunt--has a foot fetish, gets immense points for this
Jack Devlin--very sexy hot, also did extremely mild butt stuff which is super compelling
Gideon Shaw--he was actually very sad and I loved him, I appreciated the work he did to be a better man and his general guilt complex
Cam Rohan--I have my general fetishism issues with Kev and Cam's portrayals, but I will say that Cam being hyper competent and also like, one of the chillest Kleypas heroes is very sexy of him; he had to be chill because Kev got all the family angst
Keir--I know people have issues with his book and his very existence, but I think the fact that Keir is so hot that he has to grow a beard to be in public is so funny
Gabriel Challon--honestly, a shadow of his dad and not as kinky as he could be (sad :() but still very charming
Devon Ravenel--seduced me a bit with his general douchebaggery I gotta say
Harry Rutledge--should honestly re-read this one, but I think I had issues with his heroine and I liked that he was generally horrible
Nick Gentry--would be hotter if not for some unfortunate implications about his backstory, but I did love how competent he was
Tom Severin--actually pretty hot, hampered by my general "meh"ness on his being paired with Cassandra
Ross Cannon--he was fine I guess but didn't make a huge impression on me, too nice and too staid, also named Ross
Matthew Swift--he's.... fine, but he's too sweet for me
Grant Morgan--I mean, I'm not against the amnesia trickery but I preferred it when Lorraine Heath did this
Christopher Phelan--I need to re-read his book because to be honest sorry to this man I remember like... not much at all besides being a bit annoyed by what he was annoyed with
West Ravenel--controversial but brave, I think West would've been much more interesting if Phoebe had met him pre-reform, as it was he came off as a much more boring Leo Hathaway
Ethan Ransom--I just.... wasn't... that into him
Hunter, Earl of Hawksworth--great name, iffy book, not a huge impression made
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Do you think you can do a one shot on what you think Betty’s backstory is gonna be, if you can’t that’s ok
#tscs
Hey! So I sat here trying to figure out how to turn this into a one shot and I got nothing but I loved the idea so much I didn't want to leave it unanswered so I've turned this into headcanons instead! Thank you so much for the creative suggestion! I had a lot of fun coming up with ideas for this!
Okay, so the only canon 'backstory' facts we have on Betty are as follows;
She knows Bernard personally, at some point prior to the events of The Santa Clauses she married Noel (900 years prior to be exact!) and, this could have just been a funny throwaway line but I choose to believe it, she has no mother and no father????
Now, I don't exactly know how elf babies work. Do they have children? I have to assume that if things like marriage are still existent in their society (and they are because Betty and Noel are married!), then they do also have babies. Not to mention, it seems like elves have a similar biology to us. The only difference I guess being that they can consume way more sugary stuff than we can.
Plus, note how they were adamant in the show on telling us no human children had been raised in the Pole. That means elf babies and reindeer babies have been raised at the Pole right??? Am I jumping to conclusions????
Anyway the point is, Betty's comment about not having parents is a bit odd
This I guess leads me to the headcanons/ideas I have;
I saw someone suggest that Betty and Bernard may be related. But what if not by.. elf blood. I don't know if that's different from human blood. There's a lot of unanswered questions in this series, I digress.
What if Betty was just kind of... alone? maybe even like orphaned in a sense? and Bernard took her under his wing? Showed her the ropes and took care of her like his little sister, but they're not actually related
It would explain why Betty has a similar no nonsense attitude and even why Bernard entrusted the North Pole to her after he left; because he trained her. He knows she'll take good care of it because he made sure she would.
Not to mention, calling Bernard in seems to be a last ditch effort to save the North Pole, something Betty was almost reluctant to do. She might be feeling a little like she's let her mentor/her only 'parental' figure down.
Of course, all this would work if they were related by blood too, I don't think it's too far fetched.
In this hypothetical scenario though, I would like to toss a few headcanons your way;
There's a brief period where Scott has both Betty and Bernard following him around everywhere and he is annoyed by it thoroughly, but also thinks it's kind of adorable.
The two of them working together, Betty seeking Bernard's approval whenever she does something and he always gives her the highest praise, regardless if what she did was actually what she meant to do or not
Betty struggling with other elves teasing/making fun of her and Bernard sitting with her, telling her it doesn't matter because she is going to be a great Head Elf one day. They sit and drink cocoa and he cheers her up.
Bernard teasing Betty when she gets together with Noel. But he's also like "I will hunt you down and make you regret it if you hurt her!"
Bernard beating up Simon Choksi. Okay this one's for me, but imagine the sweet sweet revenge of Betty telling him all the crappy things he's said to her and Bernard is just like "no way am I letting this slide". I literally saw this elf run head first to fight some toy soldiers because he was thrown under house arrest once I cannot imagine what he'd do when someone he loves is under threat, not to mention Christmas.
Betty is all depressed because she's like "I ruined Christmas, you should've never made me Head Elf" and stuff and Bernard is all comforty, he's like "you're the best Head Elf, what do you mean! That's why you studied under me, none of this was your fault." THEY HUG. BETTY NEEDS AND DESERVES A HUG.
Anyway, these are becoming super self indulgent but if this isn't the canon I will cry myself to sleep at night!
#the santa clause#the santa clause headcanons#the santa clause imagine#the santa clauses#bernard the elf#betty the elf#tscs#tscs spoilers#the santa clauses imagine#if this isn't canon#fuck it i'll just make it my canon#because i love them so much
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What books, series, or movies influenced your writing most?
hmmm lets see
percy jackson is a recent influence. the "dead is" series is very formative for me, too. simon vs the homosapiens, series of unfortunate events, the secret series (SOUE style mystery that is based on the five senses with synesthesia... its so good. its middle school age but man. its so fucking good.), vladimir todd, CIRQUE DU FREAK. i like that cheeky tone in the face of insurmountable odds. ....i'm just now realizing how many weird books i read as a kid. OH and the enchanted forest series. gods, you wanna talk about subversive cheeky lit?? SUCH good book that does world building in literally the best way. gregor the overlander for that crushing inevitablity and the weight of a people's expectations for you to be a hero that suzanne collins does SO fucking well. sherrilyn kenyon's nick chronicles too. man they're so fucking funny and they have the perfect balance of "i'm going to make a joke" to "shits fucking serious mate" its perfect.
oh, and even tho i'm annoyed with this author currently for the way i think she's taking the story, but kresley cole's poison princess series (tarot cards personified, fated to fight each other to the death fro the amusement of gods that no longer exist....). (she's actually written two smut series that i fucking ADORE but that's besides the point)
tv series, it'd probably be Bones for the romance, sense8 for the interconnected queer love story, buffy for the girl against the world vibes, angel for the brooding hero. buffy & angel also for the dry wit i aspire to, the only thing whedon excelled at. oh, young royals too. man the tension between wille and simon is just. amazing. and the queer story its wrapped in is just. gods.
i dunno if i have any movies that have influenced my writing... i'll think about this one and get back to you alskjdflksjdf
i also have to give a special shout out to that quote from dan levy that's something like he says that schitt's creek isn't in a homophobic world because he's tired of those stories and if you want your world to change, you gotta start with the stories you're telling and that. that is such good advice and i'm using it in everything i possibly can. there are other obstacles, homophobia is a tired and boring on in fic. let's do something else
and i also gotta mention the fic writers that have influenced my writing, whether they're aware of it or not.
first off, there's @not-close-to-straight just because i fucking LOVE how cinematically she writes, tension and drama that is literally unparalled (more than words STILL gets me and its been two years. the world won't end if we rest and its recent big twist has me foaming at the mouth BECAUSE I SHOULDVE SEEN IT BUT I DIDNT AND GODS I WISH I COULD DO THAT), and the big sweeping love stories that are twined with the drama and make my heart ache, no matter how many times i've read that couple fall in love... when i was writing early danny/mateo and trying to figure out how to manage their first kiss and make it good, i talked to her and reread as many of her fics as i could to pick apart what makes a good first kiss. i want to be that good when i grow up.
also @dreamwraith is literally everything i try to be when i write. i use his fics ALL THE TIME as research. the way he captures intense emotions and small tender gestures is so perfect, i can literally only try and be half as good. there's a fic he wrote that has a wonderfully heartbreaking scene of grief, and i read it i have no idea how many times while trying to write my invisobang. and the romance he writes?? tooth rotting sweet and heart achingly soft. so perfect.
and special shoutout to @ashilrak because without her (and my other friends from the groupchat), i probably wouldn't publish ANYTHING i write. and also, the way she writes romance is just... gods, its good, all of the flavors of it. imagery on point, streamlined into nice neat packages in a way i could never manage. the dedication to her writing is literally next to none, and i can only dream to be like that.
okay this is probably mroe than you wanted to know but apparently i'm feeling sappy and rambly today so here ya go! 💖
#also sorry for the unexpected tags kara karli and trance#i just needed yall to know i was waxing poetic abt ur work#ask game#ecto writes
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hii so sorry this is late!! I literally just slept the whole day yesterdayyyy. but I'm more awake now sooooo
right?? I honestly can't even remember. I think like around folklore time? but I didn't really stick to it until after evermore-ish cause I was so busy and quarantine was a bad time lmao. ofc that's okay and THOSE ARE AMAZING CHOICES!!!! all masterpieces and ivy is one of my fav too omg. okay folklore it's always been really hard for me to pick my top songs from so here are just alike 3 ones I really really love but idk their place in my top aknsmsn: my tears ricochet, mad woman, hoax. and evermore: ttds, happiness, dorothea, coney Island, and ivy (sorry I just can't pick three they're all in number one for me lol)
OMG that's so cute and I love that it happened to u!! bash is so akdbsjns. yes yes he is!! and he's so funny and sweet too he could not be annoying. AKDNSJSHSSB OMG if you fell to the ground and screamed at seeing her irl I would NOT blame you. dying on seeing her is so valid
it's a classic!! and I heard ab the musical and really want to watch it!! that's a good choice tangled is amazing. is rapunzel ur fav disney princess then? mines mulan skdhj. I LOVE KINGSMAN SO MUCH!!! taron egerton is so good in it. and Colin firth in anything is an immediate yes for me. I loved her greatest showman!! yesss it's soundtrack is everything but honestly I'm so sick of this is me cause my school was like obsessed w it and that thing where u get bored w a song cause it plays over and over and over again happened lmao. rewrite the stars is still and always will be a bop tho. aww that's sweet and idk if I've watched it before so maybe I'll check it out!!
omg those are all so good. sweet nothing is such a rare top 5 but it's everything. ooh okay mine are prob: wcs, maroon, labyrinth, glitch, and bttws!!
thank u!! I did have a lot of fun asisnjs
random qotd: do u celebrate christmas? cause I actually don't so I thought why not ask
xxx ur secret santa
no omg that’s totally fine hehe i hope you got some good rest 😌 i’ve decided to answer this while getting my tat ahsjf so if there’s any typos pls ignore them 🤠
ooh that’s pretty recent!! i’ve been a swiftie since 2008! insane that it’s been that long?? over half my life ago 💀 were you into taylor at all before folklore/evermore? i know a lot of people who knew some of her more popular songs before that but became fans after! ivy is SO good i need that song imprinted on my brain permanently idc!! your choices are so valid mad woman makes me so elmofirememe.jpg and happiness makes me want to CRY (the irony lmao can never trust her istg)
literally omg and the entire cast is 😭 i have them all little letters with their gifts and kit looked at me right in the eye and was like thank you 🥺 i promise to read it so carefully when i get home WHEN I TELL U I WAS TRYING TO STAY ALIVE AND SIMONE oh my god quite literally gay panic™️ etc etc
the musical is so good! little miss woods comma elle <3 i hope u get to see it someday!! yess she is 🥰 omg mulan is such a great choice a girlboss 😌 YES omg taron is amazing in it and colin firth <333 (which reminds me i also LOVE mamma mia!) omg i totally understand ahsjf that happens with me too such a pain when you like the song as well but you get sick of hearing it over and over 😩 omg pls do if u get the time! i think it’s my fav christmas movie now :’)
omg yeah now that you say it i haven’t seen that many people rank it higher up even though everyone loves it it’s such a soft song 🥺 amazing choices glitch took some time to grow on me but i love it now but omg bttws makes me so sad but it’s such a lovely song ☹️
yay i’m glad!! and i don’t either actually hsjfk but i love the season and the Vibes around christmas time everything is so festive 🫶
answering this was such a good way to pass the time my tattoo’s almost done hehe thank you for the distraction 🥰 i hope you’re having a nice weekend!! any plans for the coming week? <3
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A TAXONOMY OF LOVE (2018) BY RACHAEL ALLEN - SPOILER-FILLED REVIEW
For the review WITHOUT SPOILERS, click here. To continue WITH spoilers, begin reading after the cover photo.
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
I am actually surprised with myself for giving this such a high rating as I am easily very bored with the teen romance novels. Of the few YA romance that I have read in the last year this has been my favorite which was a total surprise! I actually almost gave up reading it in the first 50 or so pages because I found the initial few chapters from Spence’s point of view unrealistic. For some reason I just didn’t feel like the dialogue and thought processes going on in this 13-year-old boy’s head felt accurate to the tween boys I’ve known growing up. There wasn’t enough swearing or boyish grossness. For instance, I feel like he needed a bit of a sprinkle of yucky (belching/ nose-picking/ farting/ name-calling) like the boys in Stephen King’s “The Body” aka Stand by Me (1986), The Sandlot (1993) or Stranger Things (2016) because many boys at this age are generally just pretty gross and obnoxious in my experience. (I grew up tween to teen between 2008-2018 and babysat lots of kids and now I work with middle school and high schoolers…)
HOWEVER, I think Allen did nail Spence’s dorkiness, which is why I ultimately kept reading because he is pretty adorable and his taxonomies are pretty funny.
Unlike John Green (The Fault in Our Stars, 2012 and Turtles All the Way Down, 2017) and Becky Albertalli (Simon vs the Homosapien Agenda, 2015) who are two of the best teen writers that can accurately display the minds of the opposite sex in my opinion, I feel like Allen struggles a bit with writing Spence’s point-of-view. I found Hope’s p-o-v more realistic (and relatable) as a female, but I think that Spence became more realistic as the book progressed from age 13 to 19. Especially once he hit puberty, I think the romantic stakes and thoughts were more accurate to a teenage boy. Haha. But what do I know? I’ve never been a teenage boy.
Hope reminded me a lot of myself because I’m generally happy-go-lucky, but I had a major emo-phase in high school that really warped my attitude at the time (and admittedly comes out to play occasionally as an adult.) I wish we had more chapters from her perspective. I was bummed out when her sister died. It's hard to lose someone so close to you, especially when they're so young. The only thing I didn't like about Hope was her last name, Birdsong. I think it was just a little too on-the-nose. If we're really going for the "girl next door" she could have just had a basic last name like Smith or Miller.
I really liked all the little parties the characters through for the holidays and the references to Hamilton (2015), Rocky Horror Picture Show (1975), Grease (1978), and Pokémon. Jayla and Spencer's Pikachu and Ash costumes sounded adorable. I feel like Hope’s transition over the story is actually a lot like Sandy’s! Also, the two girls at the Halloween party who were Sandy before and after, such a cool costume idea!
Jayla and Dean were both kind of annoying at times, but ultimately, I think they had good hearts, but were just a little too self-involved for their own good. I really appreciated after Dean went to college and grew up a little and started to stand up for Jayla and Spencer.
I also like that the book goes over some important topics like racism and the Civil War, disability awareness, bullying, mental health, and using sexual situations as a coping mechanism.
My top three favorite parts are:
The Vice Principal’s Surprise -- I mean DICK CONFETTI? How much better can it get?
2. The Tree Stand in the Rain -- My little heart at all the romance:
3. The Lightning Bugs -- Just such a sweet and magical moment.
Would I Read this Book Again?
Low key kind of want to read it again right now! I hope they make a movie of this!
#book review#spoiler review#ya novel#rhps#rocky horror picture show#tourettes syndrome#disability rights#disabled community#ya romance#teen romance#georgia#grease#pokemon#hamilton#rachael allen#a taxonomy of love
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Your First Kiss With Them: Prosecutors Edition
A lovely anon requested first kiss headcanons with both defense lawyers and prosecutors, so I'm just gonna do it in two parts.
Miles Edgeworth
It happens spontaneously with Miles.
You'd gone on a few dates already and he always walks you to your door, like the gentleman he is. When it's time to say goodbye, he lingers for a moment, as if unsure how to proceed. He always flakes in the end, leaving you after an awkward hug and a face that matches the colour of his suit.
One day you're just at his place. It's one of those lazy days when you order takeout and sit at home binging Steel Samurai. A funny scene comes on, something that leaves you both in stitches. It's such a sweet thing, seeing him laugh so earnestly, some colour rising to his face. You lean over and press a kiss to his lips almost instinctively and he freezes for a second and so do you once you realise what you'd done. You apologise awkwardly, fearing you'd crossed a line.
"What are you sorry for? I quite liked that," Miles laughs. "At least one of us has enough courage to act."
Franziska von Karma
Happens in the middle of an argument, most likely. Nothing serious, of course. You're just bickering over something silly and Franziska gets a bit too smug with her comebacks. It annoys you to no end, seeing that smarmy grin on her lovely face. You stand there for a second, feeling an overwhelming urge to-
"Why are you glaring at me like that? Just because I'm right doesn't give you the excuse to act like a f-"
Silence. Cut off by a kiss.
She's completely dumbfounded when you part. It takes her a moment to regain her composure.
"Well," she says eventually. "How foolish of you. Trying to win an argument through such underhanded tactics."
You keep on bickering.
She kisses you not two minutes later when she realises her argument makes no sense and you gain the upper hand.
Diego Armando/Godot
It's the classic scenario with him.
He takes you out for a cup of coffee one rainy afternoon. You sit at the coffee shop for hours, talking and laughing, enjoying each other's company. It's dark outside before you even realise it and he offers to walk you home. The conversation keeps flowing on your way to your place and you feel a pang of sadness when it's time to say your goodbyes. You tell him how much you enjoyed your date and he just casually leans in for a kiss that lasts a bit longer than you'd expected. There's no way your neighbours won't gossip about it tomorrow.
Klavier Gavin
He texts you to wear something warm before your date. You're confused but oblige.
Klav shows up on his bike to pick you up and it all makes sense suddenly. "Come on, Schatzi, I'll show you what a real adrenaline rush feels like."
He's true to his word. He drives you around the city, the cool twilight air rushing past you and you feel more alive than ever.
Eventually, he takes you to his favourite spot, a clearing overlooking the entire city. It feels surreal seeing all the city lights intertwine with the stars above. You sit on his bike while he stands in front of you, talking about something or another. It's hard to say who leans in first, but soon enough you're kissing. It's your first kiss together, then the second and third and fourth...
Simon Blackquill
You're just fooling around at his place.
Simon is a massive tease when he drops his twisted persona. He picks little fights and picks on you just to get you worked up. It's a mixture of endearing and annoying.
He puts on some stupid show you're not interested in one bit. Neither is he, but he'd rather tease you about it than change the channel.
"Give me the remote, Simon."
"Come get it, *insert dumb nickname*"
You try and fail spectacularly. It's just play wrestling, but that doesn't change the fact he's twice your size and can pin you down with one-fifth of his weight. Not that you mind.
You're both giggling breathlessly at this point. "Do you yield, miscreant?" He asks in his scariest prosecutor voice. Dumbass. "I yield, I yield! Just let me go!"
"You must pay the toll first," he deadpans, crossing his arms.
"And what is the toll?"
"A kiss, if I recall correctly."
You buy your freedom and he lets you up, handing you the remote and letting you curl up against him on the sofa.
You pay his toll a few more times during the evening.
Nahyuta Sahdmadhi
You're very hesitant to kiss Yuti.
He's a monk. You're not even sure it's allowed.
You start wondering if you'd perhaps been misunderstanding your outings. They were clearly dates, you thought, but then again he could merely see them as you acting as his tour guide to introduce him to your culture. You're very torn on the matter.
On your way home from dinner, you pick up some dessert. Nothing fancy, just cupcakes from a local bakery. You eat them at your place while trying to explain the concept of Netflix and chill to him. It's hard to say if he's scandalized or intrigued.
"These are so good! Would you like a taste?" You ask with your mouth full, perhaps overexaggerating your food-induced moaning.
He gives you one of those sweet, gentle looks he's known for. "Certainly," he says, bridging the gap between you, pressing the softest of kisses to your lips. You're confused by his actions but you'd be lying if you said you minded.
"What was that about?"
"Hm? Oh, that was a pick-up line, was it not? I've heard about those. Although I hear that one is usually used with flavoured lipgloss."
"Yuti, I was just offering you some of my cupcakes."
"Oh," he seems a bit embarrassed now. "Do forgive me then."
"I didn't say I minded. But you can't just go around kissing people like that."
"I'll jot that down in my 'How to act like a native' notebook."
Barok van Zieks
(Heavily inspired by my incessant bugging of @bailey-reaper from my main)
It happens during his University days.
Barok approaches you at a gathering, completely red-faced while Klint and Albert snicker within earshot. He asks you to dance with him in the most roundabout way possible, to the point where you're not quite sure what he's asking of you.
You agree and are surprised at how good of a dancer he is in spite of his initial and apparent awkwardness. Must be those long, elegant legs.
He takes you on a stroll after and you end up alone on a balcony. His initial nervous demeanour slowly melts away, although he's still more than a little shy. You chat away and you even get a laugh out of him at some point. It's one of your personal victories.
It's almost midnight when you are interrupted. "Ah, brother, there you are!" Klint van Zieks suddenly joins you on the balcony. His lips curl in a knowing smirk as he turns to greet you. "Mother has sent me to get you aeons ago! I've been looking for you all over. It's time to leave. Say your goodbyes, and be quick." He leaves then, giving you a moment of privacy.
"I-I, hm, I have really enjoyed your company tonight. Thank you for the dance. I fear I must be going now."
"Wait," you say placing your hand on his arm, half expecting him to recoil. He doesn't. You get on your tip-toes and you can still barely reach his face. Thankfully, he's already slouching. You press a quick, chaste kiss to his lips, hoping no one saw you. "Surely, you wouldn't have left me without a kiss goodnight?"
His face is burning now and he swallows. "Pray, forgive the discourtesy. How careless I am. I'll bear it in mind for next time." With that, he turns and leaves you.
Kazuma Asogi
He walks up to you one day right as you're about to head to your next class, looking pensive and excited at once. You know why, you'd heard the news. Kazuma had been selected for the student exchange and you were thrilled for him - no one deserved it more than he did. You just hoped you did a good job of hiding how sad you were to see him leave regardless.
"I can't leave you here without a proper goodbye. Leave your books, come on." He convinces you to skip the rest of your classes and drags you away on an adventure as he calls it.
You spend the day together, joking around, getting food and window shopping. Finally, you settle under the shade of a tree where you usually met up in secret. He babbles away about the law, the British Empire, his plans for the future.
When he runs out of topics to talk about, he goes quiet, dark eyes searching your face. "Do you know why I stole you away today?" Stole? He's so dramatic. You shake your head. "I don't want you to forget me when I'm gone. Remember this day, and me and this." With that, he gently takes your face in his hands and leans in, claiming your lips in a heated kiss. It's so intense, you feel yourself burning under his touch. Tears prickle your eyes when you part. "I hate to so you go," you whisper weakly and he gives you a sad, understanding smile. "I know. I'm so sorry." You pull him into another kiss, lying down on the grass, hidden by the shade of the tree. You're not about to let him forget you either.
#ace attorney#the great ace attorney#dai gyakuten saiban#miles edgeworth#franziska von karma#diego armando#godot#klavier gavin#simon blackquill#nahyuta sahdmadhi#barok van zieks#kazuma asogi#headcanons#x reader#can you tell who my favourites are from this yes you can hi simon barok and kazuma how you doing babes#did i tag everyone i hope so
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Any Simon Blackquill thoughts?
Bro you have no idea how many thoughts I have about Simon Blackquill.
I keep saying this, but I used to hate this dude a lot. I went into Dual Destinies with a lot of spoilers, but I hadn’t realized that Simon Blackquill was just a dude convicted of murder?? Prosecuting?? For some reason??? And again, DD was that game that really liked to stretch the limit of my tolerance. I get that they retroactively make it work like they do with every other ‘pushing the limits’ plot twist they’d take away at the last second, but at the time, it was just one more “Oh okay, they’re just going to not care about making sense” to add to the pile. It was stupid! And Simon was a mean asshole, I didn’t get him. I didn’t get why people cared about him. Sure his backstory was sweet but what was the point of what he was doing anyway? I didn’t get it.
And for a while after I finished Dual Destinies, that was kind of it. He was a frustrating presence, and he was boring and bland, and I didn’t care for him.
And then I replayed Dual Destinies with some friends, and I realized: Oh? Wait. This guy is genuinely kind of funny????
Like. Simon Blackquill is really funny. He’s funny! He talks like a fucking ye olde samurai for literally no reason, and the things he says make no sense. He switches rapidly between angry no-nonsense asshole and “Ah Yes Your Baldness That Man Is A Ghost” and then he just up and leaves in the middle of court to go for a walk??? Like. He’s unhinged and weird and I appreciate that.
So that was it, right? He went from Bland and Uninteresting to Funny. Maybe that was enough. Surely there wasn’t more to it than that, right?
Listen. You guys. I think Simon Blackquill is my favorite prosecutor.
He’s got all these layers to him. There’s this angry no-nonsense ruthless prosecutor, who is dangerous and scary, who threatens people who annoy him, who has this short fuse. And then he’s refusing to respect a single person he talks to like some sort of petulant, sulking teenager, calling the judge Your Baldness and lounging backwards at the bench and falling asleep during a very boring testimony. And he laughs at his own jokes even if they’re bad, and he loves that fucking bird so much, getting angry and menacing when someone said “Birdbrain” in a derogatory way. Guys, he was So Stoked To Kill A Whale. And for what??
And then you add into the mix the fact that he’s on death row for a crime he didn’t commit.
Like. How much of how he presents himself was a defense mechanism of a scared young man who had to pretend to be a ruthless murderer at all costs? He had to be this violent, scary monster because the moment he stopped was the moment the jig was up, the moment he failed. There was not a person alive who knew that he was innocent, other than Athena and the Phantom, and the fact of the matter is, there was no instance where Simon could let that facade drop even for a second, probably even for himself.
Like he had to have been terrified to let his guard drop with anyone. For one, as a man who was supposed to put criminals in prison, being this ruthless scary monster was probably his biggest defense he had in prison. And conversely he couldn’t even drop the act around people he trusted if he had any hope of convincing them he murdered his mentor in cold blood.
And he was so ready to die for Athena, too. He was so close to his execution. And he had to keep pretending, keep building these walls around his heart just to save one girl from taking the blame. He’s an asshole, and I wonder how much of that was a conscious effort to drive people away? How much of it was him not wanting to hurt people by getting close to them, and how much was him not wanting to hurt himself? I feel like he did desperately want to be saved, wanted to cling to life, was terrified of what was happening, but anything that could possibly give him that hope was also just as quickly going to damn Athena, and he couldn’t even let himself care about that, or about his own personal wellbeing, since after all, he himself was throwing all that away anyway. All he could do was cry in private, letting his tears stain his face but not even caring enough to wipe them away.
I’ve said it before, but the Simon who went to prison and the Simon who was released from prison had to be two different people. He spent so much time becoming the Twisted Samurai and facing his own mortality that so much of who he was had to have been warped and twisted just to survive, just to keep himself together until he could be sacrificed for his mentor’s child.
There’s clearly so much trauma wrapped up in him. And yet there’s still this twisted humor that he thrives on. He fucks with the other inmates by greasing the floors, he asks Apollo if he wants to come back to his prison cell for the night for Some Fucking Reason and then has to write fucking Lines like a middle schooler. He’s trying to squeeze all this humor out of his shitty taste of freedom as he hurls himself off a cliff, while still being an uncooperative asshole to everyone around him.
Shit, dude, I love Simon a lot. I love characters clinging so desperately to these facades they create to protect themselves. I love characters who are so desperately lonely and still lash out to keep people away from them. I love it. I love it so much.
And I love that he’s a little more chill in SoJ. He’s reconnecting with some old friends, eating at restaurants he used to love. He’s still spending time with Athena and growing past the horrible shit he’s been through. And he’s still this smug, uncooperative asshole, butting heads with anyone and everyone he physically can, but there’s no longer that air of “A dying man recklessly wringing everything he can out of the last year of his life,” now he’s just enjoying being an asshole. And you know what? I think he’s earned it.
There was an artbook or something that described pre-prison Simon as polite and reserved. I do like to think there was a mischievous side to him too, especially given the fact that he had someone like Aura as an older sister. But he was just a polite, gentle soul who had to twist himself into something horrible just to get through to the other side. And now he gets to heal and grow, and get a new chance at life that was taken from him for seven years.
Shit. I can’t believe how much I’ve grown to care about this shithead.
#ace attorney#simon blackquill#ace attorney spoilers#i can't believe i've fallen in love with this horrible man with his rat hair and his bird#meta#j
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my thoughts on young royals, a sequel (there are gonna be many annoying and pointless sequels): episode 2
YOUNG ROYALS’ SPOILERS AHEAD !!
• i’m glad to announce i now know my future wife’s name, madison mccoy. she’s so funny though and her outfits are so cool.
• oof when august and the other guys kept pushing wilhelm to stand on the chair and admit he’d hooked up with someone in the party and he started nervously laughing i felt kinda bad for him bc what was he supposed to say?
‘oh, no august. i didn’t hook up with anyone. i was too busy drunkenly and longingly staring at my crush who is very much a man and who i might be very much attracted to’?
it would’ve been funny though.
• that outfit in the intro. yeah, you know which one i’m talking about. i need more of that. i need more of those little stupid sunglasses. and how he stood up with his books and all.
• when felice left her friends to walk with wil to their next class and her friends just went ‘i mean we have the same next class bestie but go off i guess’ i lost it
• okay hear me out because their classrooms are so cute. they’re so mall and aesthetic and they just look so comfy? what is up with that
but the fact they have to stand up every time the teacher comes in just seems too strange to me. it’s just bc we’d never do that where i live but i couldn’t keep a straight face doing that. and bro, if i just sat down i’m sure as hell not getting back up because you came in.
• oh my god when sara took some pictures of felice with her horse and felice just thanked her looking all soft and shit, i ate that shit up (i adore their friendship and how it develops as the show goes on and i’d love it if they got together in a second season)
• i also loved when they’re finishing the rowing training (i think that was what it was) and wil starts giving simon some advice about it bc wilhelm went ‘oh, yea. flirting is not about pick-up lines anymore. it’s about unasked advice about rowing. thats what i call romance’. and honestly? good for him.
• plus wil not wanting to go to morning training but straight up sprinting to go when he saw simon was there? we love to see it. and how they just kept looking at each other the whole time (doing the planks and stuff)? that was everything.
it’s all about the looks. im telling you.
• and then when all the girls are studying/doing homework together and so are wilhelm and simon was so cute. plus i liked the background song.
and once again it was the little looks between them. those little glances wil was giving simon.
(yes i’m going to keep ignoring august’s whole relevance in most scenes bc i just don’t like him and he’s a little bitch)
but i will say it was very nice when my wife madison said ‘fuck you, august’. it was music to my ears.
• when wil messaged simon and immediately put the phone away bc he didn’t want to look, that was very much relatable. yes, i do that.
• it’s really nice how they actually feel like teenagers, in the way they act and talk. it feels very awkward and very relatable. for example when wilhelm and simon meet to go to the match and they just look at each other silently and then they both go ‘how are you?’
• and when ayub teases simon because he likes wilhelm and it’s so obvious to him, that was so sweet. plus when they’re all cheering for rosh,,, too wholesome
• one of my favorite scenes is definitely that scene where they’re all riding the motorbikes and wilhelm and simon keep trying to hold hands or just brush hands bc it’s so sweet and pure and fun. 10/10 loved it would do it again would watch it on repeat forever
• simon going back home after hanging out with wil and his friends all giddy and excited and telling sara about it melted my heart
• also this might be random but i really like the format(?) they use to show the messages on screen bc sometimes in many shows it’s just cringey but i liked it in this one
• i like the aesthetic of the library in the school. it’s a really pretty shade of green
• august: *giving a weird speech about simon and kissing his forehead*
wilhelm: oh, man. i don’t know what’s going on but you’re one crazy ass bitch
it was very much random and i loved how wil just lost it and how he and simon were looking at each other like ‘is this shit really happening? are you seeing what i’m seeing?’. august is an asshole but he’s so extra and it’s funny sometimes
• their pinkies touching during the film, the looks, the shyly holding hands had me screaming. that’s romance.
• but when wil leaves the room bc sara caught them holding hands and he’s doing his nervous tic (chewing on his thumb or biting it) and he looks at that plaque (?) that says they’re responsible for the legacy of the school or some shit like that it felt very ironic. bc i feel like what wil struggles with is the fact that if he’s with a man then he can’t have biological children and all that stuff about not being able to carry on the legacy.
and maybe i’m just reaching or misunderstanding the scene but then when you can see his anxiety is getting worse and he’s rubbing his chest i just felt like ‘yea, buddy. it’s rough, isn’t it?’ bc i think that sometimes it’s more difficult realizing you’re not attracted to the opposite gender than it is admitting you’re attracted to the same one (bc if you’re still attracted to the opposite one then you could have a “straight” relationship and stuff yk)
well that got deep huh
• once again i’m back on my bullshit, the looks in the first kiss scene. i live for the looks (though wil really looked ready to run for his life).
i just realized simon was wearing a looney tunes t-shirt in that scene. i love his graphic t-shirts.
okay it really isn’t my fault these are getting so long, each episode lasts 40-50 min and that’s a lot
#young royals#young royals netflix#young royals spoilers#simon young royals#prince wilhelm#wilhelm x simon#felice young royals#young royals episode 2#ayub young royals#rosh young royals#my thoughts on young royals
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Riding High
One Shot- Whamageddon
Summary: Frank loses a Christmas time bet…
Warnings: Bad Language words
Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is my first entry for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @sagechanoafterdark s Festive Writing Challenge. My prompt is- “Did you put antlers on the dog?” This takes place in the Riding High timeline, alongside Ch12- ILY which was their first Christmas together. (FYI Whamageddon is a real thing that me and my friends play every year without fail...and its HARD!!! https://www.whamageddon.com/)
Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.
Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Frank parked his truck in the space next to Fliss’ jeep and hopped out, making his way over the lawn to his apartment. That had been an awkward job, really awkward job if he was honest. It had taken him a lot longer than anticipated to locate the problem in the fuel pump, and at one point he was expecting to have to roll it over and finish in the morning which he really hadn’t wanted to do, as Saturdays were the one morning of the week he was able to lie in, uninterrupted and the thought of having to drag himself away from that pissed him right off. Thankfully, Bill had come to his rescue and collected Mary from school, dropping her with Fliss at the yard, something he knew Mary loved and Fliss seemed to enjoy too and it had given him the extra couple of hours he needed to finish up.
As a result whilst he was now tired, dirty, covered in grease and ready for a beer, he could relax that evening knowing he didn’t have to haul his ass out of bed at six am. He’d be able to at least sleep until Fliss’ alarm went off at eight. Mind you, even then he tended to go back to bed after they’d had breakfast, or nap on the couch until about fifteen minutes before Mary was due home. After all, he didn’t have horses to muck out and ride.
Fuck that.
As he traipsed up the steps to his apartment he could hear the sounds of Last Christmas by Wham playing and he cursed. “Fuck!” With a groan he pulled out his phone and opened up the group message, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He typed a single word “Whamageddon” and hit send. This was a game he and the boys played every year. It was a contest to see who could go the longest time over the holiday period without hearing that infernal fucking song. The rules were simple, you weren’t allowed to be a dick by tricking each other and sending messages, videos or emails containing it, and it had to be the original version, so covers, remixes and people singing it didn’t count. It also relied on all of them being honest enough to own up, but they were the Circle Of Truth after all. So far it had claimed Simon and Greg, leaving him and Jake in the running…and now he’d just lost meaning Jake won the forty-dollar pot. Mind you, the last 2 years they’d played it said forty-bucks had been used to purchase drinks on their night out so it wasn’t like he’d actually lost anything, just the satisfaction of beating Jake. But the fact he’d lost that was annoying in itself.
Fuck you George Michael.
Shoving his phone back into the pocket of his dirty jeans with an annoyed growl, Frank yanked the door open and instantly was hit with the sweet notes of nutmeg and ginger as something baked in the oven and the loud sounds of giggling and singing from the lounge. He passed through the small kitchen and paused in the doorway as he saw Mary on the couch, bouncing up and down, her hands in Fliss’ as his girlfriend danced in front of Mary, twirling round, Thor bouncing along with her occasionally issuing the odd, excited bark. Fliss’ wore a headband upon which a pair of reindeer antlers were fixed whilst on Mary’s head sat a Santa hat which was adorned with light up stars. The irritation of losing instantly left Franky’s system as he could do noth8ing but smile as he watched the pair of them dancing like idiots before Mary glanced up and saw him and gave him a grin. Fliss turned and smiled, waving him over. He shook his head, gesturing to the fact he was filthy but she simply grinned even more, and bent her finger at him, arching an eyebrow. The fact she seemed to get turned on by him being covered in grease greatly amused Frank and he simply met her down right filthy look with one of his own before she pouted at him as he was refusing to play. As usual when she fixed those eyes on him, he simply rolled his own and gave in, striding over the room where he dropped a kiss to her lips as Mary plonked the hat she had been wearing on his head just as the song ended.
“You just lost me a bet.” Frank looked at Fliss, then Mary. They both frowned at one another before Fliss gave a groan.
“Whamageddon?”
“Whamageddon.” He confirmed.
“Sorry!” she winced, shrugging as he returned Mary’s hat to her head, pulling it down over her eyes “We made sugar cookies though if that’s any consolation?"
“You’ve been busy.” Frank smiled and Mary nodded, pushing the hat up so she could see.
“We’re gonna decorate them tomorrow afternoon before we got to V and Bills.”
“Who’s we?” Frank arched an eyebrow.
“Me and you” Mary shrugged.
“That so?”
“Yup.” Mary nodded “We got ready made tubes of icing and stuff so even you can’t mess it up.”
Fliss laughed at the affronted look on Frank’s face as he narrowed his eyes at Mary before he reached out and grabbed her causing her to shriek as he tickled her sides.
Mary giggled, her protests becoming louder and lounder as did her laughter until, after one particular loud shriek Frank gave a yell and jumped, looking down at Thor who was stood behind him, his head cocked to one side, tail wagging furiously as he issued a loud bark.
“He just bit my ass!”
Fliss laughed even harder “he’s only playing. If he meant to bite you properly, you’d know about it. He’s never bitten anyone properly in his life.”
“Ha, he’s my bodyguard!” Mary straightened her hat once more before she hopped off the couch “Are you taking me to Roberta’s now?”
“Damned straight I am.” He mumbled, shooting the dog another glare before he turned back to her “You got your stuff?”
“Yup.”
“Okay come on. What do you say?” he nodded towards Fliss who rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for watching me and baking and stuff!” she wrapped her arms around Fliss’ waist and Fliss smiled, bending over to give her a hug. “Night Lissy.”
“You’re welcome babe. See you tomorrow.”
Mary skipped off and Frank turned to Fliss giving her another quick kiss.
“You know, you don’t have to make her thank me.” Fliss smiled as he pulled away. “She comes as part of the package.”
“She can still mind her manners.” Frank shrugged “Be back in five.”
Thor made to follow but Fliss grabbed his collar to stop him, before she grinned and after faffing with him for a second let him go. He padded after Frank and Mary, neither of them paying him any attention, although Frank didn’t fail to notice the grins the three of them were getting as they walked down to Roberta’s. Most likely thanks to the hat Mary had on.
Mary pushed Roberta’s door in and they all stepped inside, Roberta coming out of the kitchen to greet them.
“Mary Christmas!” Mary grinned and Roberta scoffed “Geddit? Mary, Merry…”
“Yeah I get it.” Roberta shook her head as Frank let out a snort. Her attention turned to him and she folder her arms, looking him up and down “You look like you just crawled outta some kind of pit. You’re filthy.”
“Yeah, well, been working.” He shrugged as Mary padded past into the living room. “Erm…forgetting something Stack?”
“Oh….” She turned and grabbed her little rucksack off him before she continued.
“Night then.” He shot sarcastically, receiving no response. He shook his head and turned to Roberta “We’re not going out so any issues…”
“There are never any issues Frank.” Roberta rolled her eyes “So, get….” She trailed off as her eyes fell towards Thor “Did you put antlers on the dog?”
Frank turned to look at Thor who was indeed sporting the antlers that had five or so minutes ago adorned Fliss’ head. He gave a snort, now realising why everyone they’d passed had smirked or laughed at them. “No, I didn’t” he shook his head as Thor’s tail began to thump on the floor. “That one’s down to Lissy.”
“You sure you’re not just feelin’ extra festive this year?” she teased and Frank gave a little smile.
“I’m looking forward to it, yeah.” He admitted, his eyes flicking back to the dog before he looked at Roberta. “Been a funny year. Some ways I’ll be glad to see the back of it, in others…” he trailed off as Roberta lay her hand on his arm.
“It was tough, I know. But…it all ended well.” She shrugged “You got that little girl in there and, well, a bigger girl waitin’ for you back home.”
“I’ll tell her you said that!” he grinned and Roberta slapped his arm.
“You know full well that wasn’t what I meant, besides, I’ve seen more meat on a damned grasshopper than there is on Fliss.”
“So now you’re calling her skinny…you know, I never had you down for size shaming Roberta.”
“Get outta my house before I hit you with the mop.” Roberta pointed behind him to the door causing Frank to laugh.
“See you tomorrow.” He turned, patting his thigh signalling for Thor “Come on Rudolph.”
Obediently the dog trotted after him as he left and made his way home, a soft smile playing on his face. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, snorting at the message of victory from Jake. He then noticed he had another message from Fliss.
His phone wasn't great on picture messages, it was old school after all, but it was good enough to make him stop in his tracks. Her red, lace bra clad breasts flashed back at him along with the message "on second thoughts, maybe sugar cookies aint enough of an apology...I'll say sorry properly"
Frank swallowed as he shoved the phone back into his pocket and set off home, his pace doubled.
Thank you Whamageddon...
*********
Everything
@momobaby227 @marvelfansworld @cobalt-gear @djeniiscorner @ayamenimthiriel @coldmuffinbanditshoe @nerdofthefandoms @sweater-daddiesdumbdork @southerngracela @goldenfightergir @kellymat @what-just-happened-bro @jennmurawski13 @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @jtargaryen18 @onetwo3000 @ourfinest-hour @redhairedfeistynerd @charmed-asylum @saiyanprincessswanie @just-one-ordinary-fangirl @before-we-get-started @anika-ann @icanfeelastormbrewing @gigglegirl77 @bval-1 @princess-evans-addict @mes-2016 @theladybiers @hurricanerin @kelbabyblue @harrysthiccthighss @rebloggingeverything @chezdricks @gotnofucks @nerdypinupcrystal @i-just-like-fanfics @xlanawriter @angrybirdcr @mariestark @aubreeskailynn
Frank Adler
@patzammit @lovingonshawn @smediumsmeatbae @itsmycorneroftheinternet @chezdricks @aldu-p @mariestark
#ssholidaychallenge#riding high#frank adler#frank adler x ofc#frank adler x original female character#gifted#gifted fan fic
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The Second Annual Bridgerton Family Pall Mall Game
Day 7 of Kathony week. Prompt: There Is No "I" in Team. I know I didn't participate for the past 4 days. Muse refused to cooperate. I may come back and write those, later.
Kate and Anthony's competitiveness takes a turn for the interesting during a game of pall mall, leading to Anthony doing something nobody would have expected.
Anthony took his pocket watch out and looked at it for possibly the tenth time that afternoon. He sighed then looked over at his wife. “Where in the world is your sister?”
“My guess would actually be stalling. Hoping that if she’s late enough, we’ll just start without her.”
He shook his head, not sure he wanted to know what was going on in his sister-in-law’s head. “We are not going to start without her. The whole point of the second annual Bridgerton family pall mall game is to have a rematch. It hardly counts as a rematch if we don’t have the same players. Besides, why would she stall to try to get out of playing?” He couldn’t fathom it. Granted, Edwina didn’t seem to care for how competitive the others got during the last game. His first sign that she was perhaps not really the woman he should be pursuing. After all, her fitting in with his family had been one of his requirements. And Edwina didn’t. Not the way Kate did. He gave his wife a soft smile.
“Honestly, Anthony. She didn’t particularly want to play last year, either. I think she did it more because she was afraid that if she didn’t play, I wouldn’t either. I don’t think she realized that I was quite interested in playing and was hoping she wouldn’t because I wanted to keep her away from you.”
He frowned at that. “And why was she so concerned about getting you to play?”
Kate laughed and held up her left hand. “My guess would be because of this.”
“You mean to tell me that the entire time I thought that I was courting Edwina, she was playing matchmaker for me and you?”
“Complaining?”
Anthony’s response was to take her into his arms and kiss her, propriety be damned. It was just his family, after all. He rested his hand on her belly, that had just started to swell from the child she was carrying. “Not at all. At least, not in hindsight. But, I have to admit that I would probably have been upset had I known it at the time.”
There was the sound of someone gagging behind him. “Can you two go be disgustingly in love somewhere else, where the rest of us don’t have to watch it?”
“Maybe you should find a wife of your own, Colin. Then you might not feel the need to complain about other people’s relationships.” He finally saw Edwina slowly making her way over to them, and he turned to where the mallets were stacked up. And frowned again. “Where is the mallet of death?”
Colin shrugged, holding up the yellow mallet. “Don’t look at me. It wasn’t there when I got this.”
Kate and Daphne both shrugged, with empty hands. And neither his wife or his sister would bother to hide it if they had his mallet. Anthony’s eyes narrowed as he turned on his brother-in-law. “You have my lucky mallet.”
“I believe it’s my lucky mallet, this year. It served Kate well in our last game, after all.”
Anthony glared at him, then turned his glare on his wife when he heard her giggling. “Well, I am not going to be pink, again.” He reached down and grabbed the orange mallet.
Kate just shrugged and picked up the pink one. “Fine. I will. Blue or green, Daphne?”
“I’ll be green. Since Edwina is playing under protest, just to make you two idiots happy, we might as well let her have the blue. I understand it’s her favorite color?”
Kate smiled at her. “It is. And thank you. That is very sweet of you.”
Edwina caught up with them, then, and Daphne handed her the blue mallet. “We saved this for you. Though, if you want to trade, I believe that anybody except Simon would be willing to.”
“No, blue is my favorite. Thank you for saving it for me.”
Anthony rolled his eyes. “All right, let’s get started. Simon? I believe you start, old man.” His brother-in-law glared at him, then took his turn. Anthony and Colin followed. But, as Kate was lining up her shot, Anthony walked back over to her. “Are you really sure you feel up to playing? I don’t want you to hurt the baby.”
“Funny, I don’t recall you being this concerned for me, last year.”
Kate giggled. “I think he’s actually more worried that I’m going to tire myself out. But, he’s hardly going to actually say that. So, he has to disguise it as concern for the baby.”
Daphne stared at them for a minute, then mimicked Colin’s gagging noise. “I really didn’t need to hear that. That is my brother you’re talking about. ”
Kate just laughed and took her shot, landing near Anthony’s ball. Though not as close as she had been after their first turn last year. This time he wouldn’t be able to hit her ball down the hill. At least, not on his next turn. He fully believed that his chance to annoy his wife was coming.
An hour later, and things were looking eerily familiar. Kate and Anthony stood at the bottom of the hill, staring at the pall mall balls that were almost touching. And knowing that there was no way either of them were going to get back into the game. “Well, dear. It seems that we have a few choices, here.”
Anthony looked up at Kate. “And what would those choices be?”
“We can concede defeat and give up on the game entirely. We can still play until one of the others wins and ends the game. Or, we could make things interesting.”
Anthony had started to scoff at Kate’s suggestion that they concede defeat. They were both too competitive for that. There might not be any chance of either of them actually winning, but that didn’t mean they weren’t going to try. Kate was obviously only suggesting that for the sake of listing all possible options. But, it was when she suggested making things interesting that he turned to her, intrigued. “And how would we do that?”
“A wager, between the two of us. Neither of us is going to win this game. That much is obvious. But, there is no reason not to wager on beating each other.”
“So, we finish the game, even though we’re going to come in fifth and sixth?” At Kate’s nod, he continued. “And what do you have in mind as our wager?”
The look she gave him made his body tighten with need. “The winner gets to tie the loser to the bed, tonight.”
Anthony choked. That was certainly the last thing he was expecting. Though, he realized that he should have expected the wager to involve the bedroom. Once the queasiness had passed, Kate had become even more amorous than she had been before getting with child. A development he never would have thought possible.
She held her hand out. “So, Lord Bridgerton? Is it a bet?”
“We can hardly seal this particular bet with a handshake, Lady Bridgerton. A handshake is far too civilized.” He pulled her into his arms and kissed her deeply. Several minutes later, he pulled away. “It’s a bet.”
Colin came running to the top of the hill. “Simon just went. Your turn, Anthony.”
Anthony looked down at the balls at his feet. Then up the hill to where the next wicket was. Then at his wife. Then he glanced at the lake out of the corner of his eye. There was no way to make it look like a miscalculation. He looked at Kate, again. And decided that he really didn’t care if she knew what he was up to. He shifted, lined up his shot, ignoring the shocked look on Kate’s face as she realized what he was about to do. And then he sent his ball sailing straight into the lake.
Kate gasped. And Colin crowed. “Anthony Bridgerton! Did you really just throw the game? I never thought I would see the day.”
“He did what, now?” Daphne appeared next to Colin, staring at Anthony incredulously. “What in the world could possibly make you throw a game of pall mall?”
Anthony shrugged and looked over at Kate. “My wife made me an offer I couldn’t refuse.”
His sister looked back and forth between them for a minute. “You know what? I don’t want to know.” She gave him a wicked grin. “I do remember that stage, after all.” And then she disappeared, dragging Colin along behind her.
Anthony turned to Kate who was still staring at him, shocked. “I think that perhaps next year we should rethink our bet.”
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Riding High
One Shot- Whamageddon
Summary: Frank loses a Christmas time bet…
Warnings: Bad Language words
Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher
A/N: This is my first entry for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @sagechanoafterdark s Festive Writing Challenge. My prompt is- “Did you put antlers on the dog?” This takes place in the Riding High timeline, alongside Ch12- ILY which was their first Christmas together. (FYI Whamageddon is a real thing that me and my friends play every year without fail...and its HARD!!! https://www.whamageddon.com/)
Chapter Song: Last Christmas by Wham
Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Frank parked his truck in the space next to Fliss’ jeep and hopped out, making his way over the lawn to his apartment. That had been an awkward job, really awkward job if he was honest. It had taken him a lot longer than anticipated to locate the problem in the fuel pump, and at one point he was expecting to have to roll it over and finish in the morning which he really hadn’t wanted to do, as Saturdays were the one morning of the week he was able to lie in, uninterrupted and the thought of having to drag himself away from that pissed him right off. Thankfully, Bill had come to his rescue and collected Mary from school, dropping her with Fliss at the yard, something he knew Mary loved and Fliss seemed to enjoy too and it had given him the extra couple of hours he needed to finish up.
As a result whilst he was now tired, dirty, covered in grease and ready for a beer, he could relax that evening knowing he didn’t have to haul his ass out of bed at six am. He’d be able to at least sleep until Fliss’ alarm went off at eight. Mind you, even then he tended to go back to bed after they’d had breakfast, or nap on the couch until about fifteen minutes before Mary was due home. After all, he didn’t have horses to muck out and ride.
Fuck that.
As he traipsed up the steps to his apartment he could hear the sounds of Last Christmas by Wham playing and he cursed. “Fuck!” With a groan he pulled out his phone and opened up the group message, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He typed a single word “Whamageddon” and hit send. This was a game he and the boys played every year. It was a contest to see who could go the longest time over the holiday period without hearing that infernal fucking song. The rules were simple, you weren’t allowed to be a dick by tricking each other and sending messages, videos or emails containing it, and it had to be the original version, so covers, remixes and people singing it didn’t count. It also relied on all of them being honest enough to own up, but they were the Circle Of Truth after all. So far it had claimed Simon and Greg, leaving him and Jake in the running…and now he’d just lost meaning Jake won the forty-dollar pot. Mind you, the last 2 years they’d played it said forty-bucks had been used to purchase drinks on their night out so it wasn’t like he’d actually lost anything, just the satisfaction of beating Jake. But the fact he’d lost that was annoying in itself.
Fuck you George Michael.
Shoving his phone back into the pocket of his dirty jeans with an annoyed growl, Frank yanked the door open and instantly was hit with the sweet notes of nutmeg and ginger as something baked in the oven and the loud sounds of giggling and singing from the lounge. He passed through the small kitchen and paused in the doorway as he saw Mary on the couch, bouncing up and down, her hands in Fliss’ as his girlfriend danced in front of Mary, twirling round, Thor bouncing along with her occasionally issuing the odd, excited bark. Fliss’ wore a headband upon which a pair of reindeer antlers were fixed whilst on Mary’s head sat a Santa hat which was adorned with light up stars. The irritation of losing instantly left Franky’s system as he could do nothing but smile as he watched the pair of them dancing like idiots before Mary glanced up and saw him and gave him a grin. Fliss turned and smiled, waving him over. He shook his head, gesturing to the fact he was filthy but she simply grinned even more, and bent her finger at him, arching an eyebrow. The fact she seemed to get turned on by him being covered in grease greatly amused Frank and he simply met her down right filthy look with one of his own before she pouted at him as he was refusing to play. As usual when she fixed those eyes on him, he simply rolled his own and gave in, striding over the room where he dropped a kiss to her lips as Mary plonked the hat she had been wearing on his head just as the song ended.
“You just lost me a bet.” Frank looked at Fliss, then Mary. They both frowned at one another before Fliss gave a groan.
“Whamageddon?”
“Whamageddon.” He confirmed.
“Sorry!” she winced, shrugging as he returned Mary’s hat to her head, pulling it down over her eyes “We made sugar cookies though if that’s any consolation?"
“You’ve been busy.” Frank smiled and Mary nodded, pushing the hat up so she could see.
“We’re gonna decorate them tomorrow afternoon before we got to V and Bills.”
“Who’s we?” Frank arched an eyebrow.
“Me and you” Mary shrugged.
“That so?”
“Yup.” Mary nodded “We got ready made tubes of icing and stuff so even you can’t mess it up.”
Fliss laughed at the affronted look on Frank’s face as he narrowed his eyes at Mary before he reached out and grabbed her causing her to shriek as he tickled her sides.
Mary giggled, her protests becoming louder and lounder as did her laughter until, after one particular loud shriek Frank gave a yell and jumped, looking down at Thor who was stood behind him, his head cocked to one side, tail wagging furiously as he issued a loud bark.
“He just bit my ass!”
Fliss laughed even harder “he’s only playing. If he meant to bite you properly, you’d know about it. He’s never bitten anyone properly in his life.”
“Ha, he’s my bodyguard!” Mary straightened her hat once more before she hopped off the couch “Are you taking me to Roberta’s now?”
“Damned straight I am.” He mumbled, shooting the dog another glare before he turned back to her “You got your stuff?”
“Yup.”
“Okay come on. What do you say?” he nodded towards Fliss who rolled her eyes.
“Thanks for watching me and baking and stuff!” she wrapped her arms around Fliss’ waist and Fliss smiled, bending over to give her a hug. “Night Lissy.”
“You’re welcome babe. See you tomorrow.”
Mary skipped off and Frank turned to Fliss giving her another quick kiss.
“You know, you don’t have to make her thank me.” Fliss smiled as he pulled away. “She comes as part of the package.”
“She can still mind her manners.” Frank shrugged “Be back in five.”
Thor made to follow but Fliss grabbed his collar to stop him, before she grinned and after faffing with him for a second let him go. He padded after Frank and Mary, neither of them paying him any attention, although Frank didn’t fail to notice the grins the three of them were getting as they walked down to Roberta’s. Most likely thanks to the hat Mary had on.
Mary pushed Roberta’s door in and they all stepped inside, Roberta coming out of the kitchen to greet them.
“Mary Christmas!” Mary grinned and Roberta scoffed “Geddit? Mary, Merry…”
“Yeah I get it.” Roberta shook her head as Frank let out a snort. Her attention turned to him and she folder her arms, looking him up and down “You look like you just crawled outta some kind of pit. You’re filthy.”
“Yeah, well, been working.” He shrugged as Mary padded past into the living room. “Erm…forgetting something Stack?”
“Oh….” She turned and grabbed her little rucksack off him before she continued.
“Night then.” He shot sarcastically, receiving no response. He shook his head and turned to Roberta “We’re not going out so any issues…”
“There are never any issues Frank.” Roberta rolled her eyes “So, get….” She trailed off as her eyes fell towards Thor “Did you put antlers on the dog?”
Frank turned to look at Thor who was indeed sporting the antlers that had five or so minutes ago adorned Fliss’ head. He gave a snort, now realising why everyone they’d passed had smirked or laughed at them. “No, I didn’t” he shook his head as Thor’s tail began to thump on the floor. “That one’s down to Lissy.”
“You sure you’re not just feelin’ extra festive this year?” she teased and Frank gave a little smile.
“I’m looking forward to it, yeah.” He admitted, his eyes flicking back to the dog before he looked at Roberta. “Been a funny year. Some ways I’ll be glad to see the back of it, in others…” he trailed off as Roberta lay her hand on his arm.
“It was tough, I know. But…it all ended well.” She shrugged “You got that little girl in there and, well, a bigger girl waitin’ for you back home.”
“I’ll tell her you said that!” he grinned and Roberta slapped his arm.
“You know full well that wasn’t what I meant, besides, I’ve seen more meat on a damned grasshopper than there is on Fliss.”
“So now you’re calling her skinny…you know, I never had you down for size shaming Roberta.”
“Get outta my house before I hit you with the mop.” Roberta pointed behind him to the door causing Frank to laugh.
“See you tomorrow.” He turned, patting his thigh signalling for Thor “Come on Rudolph.”
Obediently the dog trotted after him as he left and made his way home, a soft smile playing on his face. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, snorting at the message of victory from Jake. He then noticed he had another message ftom Fliss.
His phone wasn't great on picture messages, it was old school after all, but it was good enough to make him stop in his tracks. Her red, lace bra clad breasts flashed back at him along with the message "on second thoughts, maybe sugar cookies aint enough of an apology...I'll say sorry properly"
Frank swallowed as he shoved the phone back into his pocket and set off home, his pace doubled.
Thank you Whamageddon...
#ssholidaychallenge#riding high#frank adler x ofc#frank adler#fliss gallagher#gifted#gifted fanfiction#one shot#christmas fanfic#chris evans#chris evans characters
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