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thelittleliars · 1 year

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Silence (1/4)

Warnings: angst; hurt

Words: 1.2K

Summary: You accidently coming out destroyed a decade long friendship.

AN: Thanks for all the love on my first story "New Year"! I didn't proofread this one so be warned. This might get a Part 2 with a happy ending but I'm not sure.

[Part 2: Second Chance]

"Movie night later?" You asked Natasha at the dinner table where all the Avengers sat with you.

Natasha nodded her head and smiled at you widely. "Sure. But it better be a horror movie." You loved horror movie nights with her. Neither of you were scared of them but you both laughed at ridiculous scenes and cuddled anyways.

"So tell me Y/N," Sam interrupted your conversation. "What's going on between you and black widow?"

You looked at him baffled. Natasha and you were friends ever since you both worked at shield together so you didn't get why he implied that more is between you two. "What?" You said.

"Oh come on, you two are super close, doing almost everything together, cuddle all the time, go out, wear each other clothes... there has to something going on between you two." Sam's hint at you liking girls had you shifting in your seat. It was true that you were into girls but you haven't told a soul. Wanda was the only one who might found out about it since she couldn't control her mind reading powers when she first joined the Avengers.

"We're just friends." You told him, with anxiety slowly creeping up on you. The whole team started to listening in on the conversation. "I swear we're just friends."

"Are you sure that you don't wanna date her?" He wiggled his eyebrows. His words and behavior infuriated you. And with this rage mixed with anxiety, you unknowingly came out to the entire team. "Just because I like girls doesn't mean that I instantly want to date my female friends."

Some looked shocked, others looked as if they had suspicions and then there was Yelena who looked happy, proud even. "Ha! So I wasn't crazy when I saw Y/N Y/L/N ogle that one girl at the mall months ago. Pay up Kate Bishop." She exclaimed excited. You blushed after hearing Yelena's words, thinking you were subtle checking girls out.

Natasha, who sat next to you, was brooding. She didn't like it one bit that you hadn't told her about your sexuality first. She felt hurt. Did you think she would judge you or not accepting you for liking girls? Were you afraid of losing your (Avengers) family? Or did you simply not trust her with that kinda stuff? You had never held yourself back before so why right then?

"Alright but do you have a girlfriend already or can I be your wingman?" You blushed and hid your face in your hands. "No help needed." You barely got those words out. "Lady Y/N, you have to introduce us to them!" Thor demanded in excitement.

"We've only been on a couple of dates." You blushed further. "Plus she's not out yet so I rather not drop any names." Thor was quiet understanding and dropped the topic. You were honestly glad for that since it ended the whole conversation about you. The topic now was about Tony and Pepper.

You shifted back your attention to the Widow next to you who was acting strange. Her body language was awkward and you hoped once the movie night started it'd get better. But you were wrong, it got worse, the air between you two was thick and non of you uttered a word about the incident at dinner.

The red head distanced herself even more from you after the movie night. It hurt you deeply, the pain only got worse with how hard you tried to fix whatever happened, but nothing good came out of it. Natasha shut you out so easily that you overthought your whole relationship with her. In the end you came to the conclusion that you never really knew her.

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It was almost 2 months since the coming out incident happened, while you and Natasha's relationship were in pieces, your relationship with the other ex-shield agent thrived. But you missed the red head dearly. You missed her warmth that radiated off of her when you two cuddled closely during movie nights. Her touch on your arm whenever she was excited to show or tell you something. You even missed her awful dry jokes she made to cheer you up. But all that was left was her ghostly presence which seemed to never leave your side. Not matter what you did, her ghost lingered every single second.

You felt heaviness inside of you as sat down on the bench in the training room, and the spot next to you is empty. Training was no longer fun when you didn't have your favorite person train with you. It felt as if the universe was against you when you saw Natasha enter the training room. What she did here at this unholy hour was beyond you. It made your mood even more sour.

"Steve said you'd be here." She spoke up. "He said we need to spar again. So move your ass."

Your body hesitated to get up but eventual did with a heavy sigh. Exhaustion was written all over your face. Natasha was already in the ring, waiting for your slow ass to join. Both of you took your stand but non of you tried first to make a move. You both danced around each other which irritated Natasha immensely. She expected a move from you long ago since that was how you always started sparring with her.

Her irritation turned into frustration and anger fast. And did something she probably will regret for the rest of her life. "Trouble in paradise with Agent Shaw?" She taunted you. "Saw some spicy video of hers the other day."

That got your complete attention. You knew about Agent Shaw's private video which her ex boyfriend leaked years ago. The video recently surfaced once again and you tried your best to take it down forever. You even begged Tony for help, who was glad to finally have a small challenge again. It took him some time but it was finally gone now but apparently not before the Black Widow saw it.

"Okay..?" What else were you supposed to say to the women you once knew perfectly.

"I have a copy and I'm sure you have one too but in case you don't, I'm willing to-" She got cut off by you punching her in the face. You didn't meant to punch her this hard but you were fed up with her bullshit.

The blow of the hit was so unexpected and hard that she fell on the ground. She looked up at you stunned as hell, her eyes fluttered a bit while her bottom lip started to bleed.

"What the fuck Natalia." The sight of woman on the floor, looking so helplessly broke your heart once again. You were fighting so hard to get the friendship back that now by realizing your friendship was broken beyond repair, thanks to her behavior, was pain on a whole different level. What you were about to feel is grief from the loss of a decade long friendship.

Your heart and mind fought against each other but you had enough. Every single bad emotion was roaring in you as you silently said your final goodbye. Also with that, the ghost of hers that you felt all the time, disappeared.

The silence that hung in the air after you left was loud, it started to suffocate Natasha in a way she didn't know existed. How did she let herself become a monster again? Didn't she learn from her past? No thought in the world would help her in this situation because at the end, nothing mattered anymore since it was her silence that broke you two apart.

#natasha romanoff #black widow #yelena belova #thor odinson #the avengers #natasha x reader #natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha x you #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x y/n #black widow x reader #Silent Series

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olpie · 4 months

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New Year's Day (After Midnight)

Daryl has an interesting conversation after his shift at the guard tower.

Read it here

#ao3 update #bethyl #daryl dixon #beth greene #ao3 writer #twd fanfiction #team delusional #ao3 fanfic #daryl x beth #twd #silent series #valentines day #new years eve #bfh23 #bethyl holidays fest 2023

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roe-oo · 2 months

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heyyy I watched the thing

#I think it’s funny if they won as a reward both would get to go back to the corporate world and ren would present the shittiest power point #imagineable and the whole room is silent except for martyn going “FANTASTIC WORK MY LIEGE INCREDIBLE #something something corporate bureaucracy prepared them for this yes but also they slipped into those roles wayyy too easily #third life #inthelittlewood #rendog #mcyt #mcyt fanart #life series #trafficblr #third life fanart #blood tw

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romanticwrld · 1 year

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mostlysignssomeportents · 16 days

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Against Lore

For the rest of May, my bestselling solarpunk utopian novel THE LOST CAUSE (2023) is available as a $2.99, DRM-free ebook!

One of my favorite nuggets of writing advice comes from James D Macdonald. Jim, a Navy vet with an encylopedic knowledge of gun lore, explained to a group of non-gun people how to write guns without getting derided by other gun people: "just add the word 'modified.'"

As in, "Her modified AR-15 kicked against her shoulder as she squeezed the trigger, but she held it steady on the car door, watching it disintegrate in a spatter of bullet-holes."

Jim's big idea was that gun people couldn't help but chew away at the verisimilitude of your fictional guns, their brains would automatically latch onto them and try to find the errors. But the word "modified" hijacked that impulse and turned it to the writer's advantage: a gun person's imagination gnaws at that word "modified," spinning up the cleverest possible explanation for how the gun in question could behave as depicted.

In other words, the gun person's impulse to one-up the writer by demonstrating their superior knowledge becomes an impulse to impart that superior knowledge to the writer. "Modified" puts the expert and the bullshitter on the same team, and conscripts the expert into fleshing out the bullshitter's lies.

Yes, writing is lying. Storytelling is genuinely weird. A storyteller who has successfully captured the audience has done so by convincing their hindbrains to care about the tribulations of imaginary people. These are people whose suffering, by definition, do not matter. Imaginary things didn't happen, so they can't matter. The deaths of Romeo and Juliet were less tragic than the death of the yogurt you had for breakfast. That yogurt was alive and now it's dead, whereas R&J never lived, never died, and don't matter:

https://locusmag.com/2014/11/cory-doctorow-stories-are-a-fuggly-hack/

Hijacking a stranger's empathic response is intrinsically adversarial. While storytelling is a benign activity, its underlying mechanic is extremely dangerous. Getting us to care about things that don't matter is how novels and movies work, but it's also how cults and cons work.

Cult leaders and con-artists know that they're engaged in mind-to-mind combat, and they make liberal use of Jim's hack of leaving blank spots for the mark to fill in. Think of Qanon drops: the mystical nonsense was just close enough to sensical that a vulnerable audience was compelled to try and untangle them, and ended up imparting more meaning to them than the hustler who posted them ever could have dreamt up.

Same with cons – there's a great scene in the Leverage: Redemption heist show where an experienced con-artist explains to a novice that the most convincing hustle is the one where you wait for the mark to tell you what they think you're doing, then run with it (scambaiters and other skeptics will recognize this as a relative of the "cold reading," where a "psychic" uses your own confirmations to flesh out their predictions).

As Douglas Adams put it:

A towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

Magicians know this one, too. The point of a sleight is to misdirect the audience's attention, and use that moment of misattention to trick them, vanishing, stashing or producing something. The mark's mind is caught in a pleasurable agony: something seemingly impossible just happened. The mind splits into two parts, one of which insists that the impossible just happened, the other insisting that the impossible can't happen.

You know you've done it right if the audience says, "Do that again!" And that's the one thing you must not do. So long as you don't repeat the trick, the audience's imagination will chew on it endlessly, coming up with incredibly clever things that you must have done (a clever conjurer will know several ways to produce the same effect and will "do it again" by reproducing the effect via different means, which exponentially increases the audience's automatic imputation of clever methods to the performer).

Not for nothing, Jim Macdonald advises his writing students to study Magic and Showmanship, a classic text for aspiring conjurers:

https://memex.craphound.com/2007/11/13/magic-and-showmanship-classic-book-about-conjuring-has-many-lessons-for-writers/

There's a version of this in comedy, too. The scholarship of humor is clear on this: comedy comes from surprise. The audience knows they're about to be surprised when the punchline lands, and their mind is furiously trying to defuse the comedian's bomb before it detonates, cycling through potential punchlines of their own. This ramps up the suspense and the tension, so when the comedian does drop the punchline, the tension is released in a whoosh of laughter.

Your mind wants the tension to be resolved ASAP, but the pleasure comes from having that desire thwarted. Comedy – like most performance – has an element of authoritarianism. You don't give the audience what it wants, you give it what it needs.

Same goes for TTRPGs: the game master's role is to deny the players the victories and treasure they want, until they can't take it anymore, and then deliver it. That's the definition of an epic game. It's one of the durable advantages of human GMs over video game back-ends: they can ramp up the epicness by "cheating" on the play, giving the players the chance to squeak out improbable victories at the last possible second:

https://wilwheaton.typepad.com/wwdnbackup/2009/03/behind-the-screen.html

This is so effective that even crude approximations of it can turn video-games into cult hits – like Left4Dead, whose "Director" back-end would notice when the players were about to get destroyed and then substantially ramped up the chances of finding an amazing weapon – the chance would still be low overall, but there would be enough moments when the player got exactly what they'd been praying for, at the last possible instant, that it would feel amazing:

https://left4dead.fandom.com/wiki/The_Director#Special_Infected

Critically, Left4Dead's Director didn't do this every time. As any showman knows, the key to a great performance is "Always leave 'em wanting more." The musician's successful finale depends on doing every encore the audience demands, except the last one, so the crowd leaves with one tantalyzing and imaginary song playing in their minds, a performance better than any the musicians themselves could have delivered. Like the gun person who comes up with a cooler mod than the writer ever could, like the magic show attendee who comes up with a more elaborate explanation for the sleight than the conjurer could ever pull off, like the comedy club attendee whose imagination anticipates a surprise that grows larger the longer the joke goes on, the successful performance is an adversarial act of cooperation where the audience willingly and unwillingly cooperates with the performer to deny them the thing that they think they need, and deliver the thing they actually need.

This is my biggest problem with the notion that someday LLMs will get good enough at storytelling to give us the tales we demand, without having to suffer through a storyteller's sadistic denial of the resolutions we crave. When I'm reading a mystery, I want to turn to the last page and find out whodunnit, but I know that doing so will ruin the story. Telling the storyteller how the story should go is like trying to tickle yourself.

Like being tickled, experiencing only fun if the tickler respects your boundaries – but, like being tickled, there's always a part where you're squirming away, but you don't want it to stop. An AI storyteller that gives you exactly what you want is like a dungeon master who declares that every sword-swing kills the monster, and every treasure chest is full of epic items and platinum pieces. Yes, that's what you want, but if you get it, what's the point?

Seen in this light, performance is a kind of sado-masochism, where the performer delights in denying something to the audience, who, in turn, delights in the denial. Don't give the audience what they want, give them what they need.

What your audience needs is their own imagination. Decades ago, I was a freelance copywriter producing sales materials for Alias/Wavefront, a then-leading CGI firm that was inventing all kinds of never-seen VFX that would blow people away. One of the engineers I worked with told me something I never forgot: "Your imagination has more polygons than anything you can create with our software." He was talking about why it was critical to have some of the action happen in the shadows.

All of this is why series tend to go downhill. The first volume in any series leaves so much to the imagination. The map of the world is barely fleshed out, the characters' biographies are full of blank spots, the mechanics of the artifacts and the politics of the land are all just detailed enough that your mind automatically ascribes a level of detail to them, without knowing what that detail is.

This is the moment at which everything seems very clever, because your mind is just churning with all the different bits of elaborate lore that will fill in those lacunae and make them all fit together.

SPOILER ALERT: I'm about to give some spoilers for Furiosa.

FURIOSA SPOILERS AHEAD!

Last night, we went to see Furiosa, the latest Mad Max movie, a prequel to 2015's Fury Road, which is one of the greatest movies ever made. Like most prequels, Furiosa functions as a lore-delivery vehicle, and as such, it's nowhere near as good as Fury Road.

Fury Road hints as so much worldbuilding. We learn about the three fortresses of the wasteland (the Citadel, the Bullet Farm, and Gastown) but we only see one (The Citadel). We learn that these three cities have a symbiotic relationship with one another, defined by a complex politics that is just barely stable. We meet Furiosa herself, and learn something of her biography – that she had been stolen from the Green Place, that she had suffered an arm amputation.

All of this is left for us to fill in, and for a decade, my hindbrain has been chewing on all of that, coming up with cool ways it could all fit together. I yearned to know the "real" explanation, but it was always unlikely that this real explanation would be as enjoyable as my own partial, ever-unfinished headcanon.

Furiosa is a great movie, but its worst parts are the canonical lore it settles. Partly, that's because some of that lore is just stupid. Why is the Bullet Farm an open-pit mine? I mean, it's visually amazing, but what does that have to do with making bullets? Sometimes, it's because the lore is banal – the solarpunk Green Place is a million times less cool than I had imagined it. Sometimes, it's because the lore is banal and stupid: the scenes where Furiosa's arm is crushed, then severed, then replaced, are both rushed and quasi-miraculous:

https://www.themarysue.com/how-does-furiosa-lose-her-arm/

But even if the lore had been good – not stupid, not banal – the best they could have hoped for was for the lore to be tidy. If it were surprising, it would seem contrived. A story whose loose ends have been tidily snipped away seems like it would be immensely satisfying, but it's not satisfying – it's just resolved. Like the band performing every encore you demand, until you no longer want to hear the band anymore – the feeling as you leave the hall isn't satisfaction, it's exhaustion.

So long as some key question remains unresolved, you're still wanting more. So long as the map has blank spots, your hindbrain will impute clever and exciting mysteries, tantalyzingly teetering on the edge of explicability, to the story.

Lore is always better as something to anticipate than it is to receive. The fans demand lore, but it should be doled out sparingly. Always leave 'em wanting more.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/05/27/cmon-do-it-again/#better_to_remain_silent_and_be_thought_a_fool_than_to_speak_and_remove_all_doubt

#pluralistic #writing #lore #series #science fiction #the elaborations of a bad liar #always leave em wanting more #james d mcdonald #guns #pilkunnussija #craft #Silmarillion #sf #Better to Remain Silent and Be Thought a Fool than to Speak and Remove All Doubt #magic tricks #conjuring #narrative #mad max #furiosa

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heatherchasesyou · 7 months

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i wanted to do a redraw of this meme since 2021 but never did soooooo

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gameplaydaily · 13 days

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Mary?

#gamingedit #silenthilledit #horroredit #james sunderland #silent hill 2 #silent hill 2 remake #silent hill series #gifs #ours #by ksusha #mikaeled #gamingnetwork #dailygaming #videogamemen

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scatterbrainedbot · 1 year

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(okay so i wanted to play with this a lot more but its been like a month and @somerandomdudelmao has posted like twenty updates since so im gonna just slap some textures on it and call this donezo for now)

cass has given us so many amazing moments, and plenty are far more intense and emotional than this but like

theres just. something about casey saying this,

and having to then quietly go back down into the sewers, alone

bonus:

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yanderecookierunkingdom · 5 months

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Six becomes Five

Inspired by @brittle-doughie and his few works about the 5 Beasts! The ones were the reader being a part of their group caught my eye, so have this!

You were Compassion, brilliant, and beautiful. You aided the Cookies in their times of need, when they needed you most. Helping them up to their feet, using your powers to heal them, to soothe arguments. Your friends were once like that too.

Shadow Milk Cookie loved to put on plays for the Cookies, and have them join in. He'd always give you one of the main parts alongside him. It was only fair!

Burning Spice Cookie was always so valiant in defending them, with Silent Salt Cookie by his side. The two were nigh unstoppable, and with you near to always heal any wounds, they really were.

Eternal Sugar Cookie would often join you in aiding the common Cookies, always lounging on her cloud. She always made a spot for you, though. Mystic Flour Cookie would tag along too, going on and on about things seen. It always made you smile.

Until.. something changed.

You didn't notice it at first. It was subtle things, especially whenever you weren't around. Being cruel and hateful towards the Cookies, seeing them as lesser. For not having the power baked and blessed into you six.

You only saw it all too late when your comrades gleefully recounted all that they had done during one of your meetup sessions. You were briefly in shock before shakily congratulating them. You didn't want to anger them. You couldn't take all five of them at once in a fight..

However, you didn't need to wait long. Your Creators, the Witches, soon saw this and upon seeing you untouched by greed and corruption, asked for you help.

Mournfully, you agreed.

You called them all to the spot, saying you had a dance you wanted to show them. A special one, just for their eyes. It was difficult getting them in the exact spots, but once you did..

The Forks fell, trapping them one by one. You continued your dance until the sapling of the Silver Tree was planted, where you then bowed to them.

None of them could understand. Why would you betray them?

Why were you walking away?!

"COME BACK, YOU CAN'T LEAVE!"

For so long following that fateful day, you tried to stay there in Beast-Yeast, but it wasn't possible. Many of the remaining Cookies, that were the Faeire Cookies, couldn't bare to live there any longer.

So you said a mournful goodbye, and led the Cookies that wanted a new home to a new home. Crispia, you decided it would be called. Once many Cookies began to settle, you turned and left. You couldn't bare the thought of becoming like one of the Beasts, so you secluded yourself, changed yourself.

Your divine appearance, your name, everything. Once a Cookie representing Compassion, now you were a mere shadow of yourself. The only thing that stood constant was your Soul Jam, now a beautiful amulet around your neck instead of attached to your clothes.

It was the one thing you couldn't part with, no matter how hard you tried.

You rebuilt yourself. Made new friends, connections, loved ones.

Until the day came.

You had to return to that land to find White Lily Cookie. You didn't want to, but for the sake of the world, you had to.

Oh, it had all gone so terribly wrong. White Lily Cookie had awakened, you had your reunion with the Faeires, and then the Seal began to undo. Try as anyone might, it couldn't be resealed.

And from the rift.. came Shadow Milk Cookie.

Without a single thought, you put yourself between the group and him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but when he spotted you, his pupils went wide.

After so long of being trapped, hidden away by the seal and vines, Eternal Sugar Cookie's constant wailings about you being tricked, manipulated, or brainwashed had gotten to all the Beasts. It was the only explanation, it had to be.

And as Shadow Milk Cookie grins widely down at you, obession in his eyes, you swear to yourself.

You really shouldn't have come back to Beast-Yeast.

#yandere crk x reader #yandere crk #yandere cookie run kingdom x reader #yandere cookie run kingdom #cosmos constellations #yandere mystic flour cookie #yandere shadow milk cookie #yandere eternal sugar cookie #yandere silent salt cookie #series: six becomes five #yandere burning spice cookie

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sofy-tofy · 8 months

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PS2 manual character description part 2, Silent Hill series edition.

#silent hill #silent hill 2 #silent hill 3 #silent hill 4 #silent hill series #サイレントヒル #silent hill archive #archive #game manual #playstation #playstation 2 #horror games #horror videogames #survival horror #video games #non art post

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thelittleliars · 1 year

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Surprise (3/4)

Warnings: Fluff; a bit of angst and nfsw

Words: 2.6K

Summary: You being a gay mess around Natasha

A/N: Part 3 is finally here!!! I didn't proofread it so there might be mistakes. If you want to be added or get removed from the tag list just let me know! Part 4 will also be the final chapter in this series so enjoy!!

[Part 1: Silence ; Part 2: Second Chance ; Part 4: Survive]

Hell broke loose after thanksgiving. Some kind of mutated virus spread, most of the Avengers were immune since they had already had different DNA but you normal people hit it hard. Natasha, Kate, Yelena and you apparently came in contact with the virus and had to move to a secluded facility on the compound’s ground. You four were in isolation, each one of you alone in a room with a glass front. You didn't know if Clint and Scott had to do this in their own homes too. Those poor kids would see this cruelty of a virus.

Natasha rebelled against being in a room alone, she wanted to be in yours, she had to continue fixing the mess she created but the agents who also were to watch us twenty four seven didn't let her.

It was around the 9th day when Natasha exploded, she couldn't stand not being able to see and touch you when both of you were only separated by a thin wall. "GET ME OUT OF HERE! JUST PUT ME IN Y/N'S ROOM!" She started to bang on the glass hard, it was no use though, the glass was solid.

Even though you couldn't see her, you heard her yelling and banging against the glass. "Nat, calm down." You tried to get to her but that was also no use. Hearing your voice made her even more desperate to be moved to you. The itch inside of Natasha would only stop the second she could hug you.

"Please," she pleaded. "Let me continue this isolation with my wife." All attention was on Natasha now. She just called you her wife, every single part of your body felt like it was on fire, the burning desire of being her wife was suddenly the only thing in the world that you wanted. You knew you had feelings for Natasha, you suspected it during the time apart before you realized it on thanksgiving.

"Ms Romanoff, we have no record of your apparent marriage with Y/N Y/L/N." An agent who worked here to monitor us, told that Natasha. She was quick to correct him that it was Mrs Romanoff. "I'm sorry Mrs Romanoff, without any document we can't let you-"

"Alright you got me! We're only engaged but the wedding would have been in a couple of days. I'd like to think her as my wife already." If you didn't know Natasha from the inside out then you'd have believed her right there. Hell you actually believed her for a fracture of a second because how convincing she sounded. In all the years you've known her, you never once saw her using her sweet talk skills, not only did it impress you hugely but something inside of you shifted. You found her actions very sexy.

The second she was brought into your room, you avoided eye contact at all costs since you're a bit embarrassed about the way you just thought about her. Natasha was also quiet as she sat down on your bed with a good amount of distance from you. Usually she'd have greeted you with a warm hug but she also was embarrassed, just about how impulsive she acted and what she said to get to you. The black widow didn't know what came over her.

You scooted over but only so far that your knees were touching, which made her jump, she didn't expect the closeness. You saw it but ignored it, you started to dance your fingers along her thigh towards her hands that were resting in her lap. Once you reached them you took one of her hands in your own, her warmth spread over to you and you melted on the inside.

"So about that wife part.." You whispered while drawing tiny patterns on the back of her hand with your thumb. Natasha exhaled loudly, thinking of the best way to explain her actions. When she came up with nothing logical she simply shrugged.

"I knew you're good at sweet talking and seducing since I all the stories but bloody hell, I didn't expect you to be THAT good." You finally turned your head to look at her when you saw she already looked at you intensely. Nat frees her hand from your hold, lifted it up to your face and traced the outline of your jaw. Your heart had never pounded so fast in your entire life as right there. She leaned closer to you, feeling her warm breath all over your face, while you wait for her next move. "You haven't seen nothing yet baby." She said it more quietly but in such a raspy way. You sat there frozen and errored with a gay panic rushing through you. When she leaned back and saw the look on your face, a huge grin broke out. "This was just a preview."

"Just because you know I'm gay now doesn't mean you're allowed to cause gay panics!" The words stumbled out of you fast. Your mind was still racing with thousand of thoughts, it was even worse than your nightly routine of overthinking.

"Just don't fall in love with me." The red head winked and you honestly didn't know if she was serious or just teasing you.

"Afraid that I can't control myself around you if I fall for you?" You shot back with sudden confidence.

"Darling, nobody can control themself around me. I mean just look at me." She cockily told you.

"Then stop flirting with me and we'll be both fine." Deep inside you knew that you'd end up falling in love if Natasha would continue flirting.

"Whatever.“ She rolled her eyes before bumping her should into you to keep everything light, then brought up a story you didn't know yet in hope to continue to fix the riff she caused. You knew it wasn't much but it still was the beginning of trusting each other again and a way to strengthen your bond.

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Later that day there was a bit more commotion from the agents monitoring us. You didn't pay it any attention, your concentration was completely on the book in your hands, it was a new thriller you bought recently. The only time you actually looked up was when you heard someone saying your nickname. You made eye contact with non other than one of your old flames, she and all the other old flames of your knew your status of being in the closet and thankfully they kept that secret with them.

"Agent Holm!" You exclaimed with excitement. "It's so nice to see you again, it's been too long."

"You know you can call me Leyla so please do that." She smiled at you, thinking to herself that it had been way too long to meet again. "Well, you're one of the unlucky ones who contracted with the virus huh?"

You stood up from the bed you sat on when you read your book, now walking towards Leyla who stood at the glass front. Then you decided to sit on the ground with crossed legs. "As you already know, the universe and my body loves to attracted every kind of shit."

Natasha, who was working out, came out of her trance when she heard you talking to someone. She didn't recognized the brunette you were talking to, the woman seemed familiar to her but could not match a name to the face and that irritated her. You seemed so free and happy to talk to the brunette, and with the way you looked at her.. Natasha was literally fuming with jealousy that the second you laughed at something the agent said, something inside of her just snapped.

"So how come you two get to share a space but not these two?" Leyla pointed behind her towards Kate and Yelena, who were in separated rooms.

"Perks of being best friends?" You hoped you were convincing enough but also knew that your reason was weak.

"And they were roommates!!!" She said in fake shock. You blushed profusely, trying to hide it by looking down and also shaking your head fast to deny her claims. "No no no, Stop. It isn't like that!"

"Then please enlighten me!" She smirked at you, still loved teasing the heck out of you.

"I-I-I can't explain how but she convinced one of the agents to let her isolate with me. It also only happened earlier today!" You looked over your shoulder to where Natasha was last training but she wasn't there anymore, in fact she was nowhere to be seen. But then she came out of the bathroom wearing only shorts and a black bra, a small white towel was hanging around her neck that fell right down towards her boobs. Your eyes widened at the sight of her, a fire inflamed in you and heat rushed in more than one place. You felt pathetic in how easy she suddenly affects you.

"It isn't like that." Agent Holm mocking the words you said a minute made you finally look away. You mumbled a small fuck off which she laughed off. "If you haven't made a move on her then I definitely will."

"Well then shoot your shot." You basically dared her. She raised her eyebrows before putting her left arm up to the glass and leaned against it. "Hey Romanoff!"

Natasha looked to you guys, wondering what the agent could want from her. "Yes?" Leyla pointed towards you, "This hot shot wants to spar with you."

You shook your head in denial, sparring with Natasha in general was difficult already since both of you were very competitive but it'd be your death now with having feelings for her and her looking so incredible hot. Natasha purposely flexed her arms when she saw you looking over to her and if you weren't gay panicking before then you definitely were now. "Oh yeah?" Natasha's eyes twinkled mischievously, you knew how much trouble she'd cause if you didn't stop her.

"Listen, Leyla was just kidding! She loves fucking with me." You turned back towards the brunette but she left you alone with your crush. Anxiously you spun back towards Nat, she had a teasing smile on her face that nearly made you fall to your knees. "Why would she want to fuck with you like this though?" The red head walked with slow and confident steps to you, only stopping when she was a few inches away. Then she leaned in, you felt her warm lips near your ear that made a shiver ran down your spine, her breath was also very warm and you didn't know how to function anymore. "I guess I know why." Her whispering was so soft that you thought you were currently dying in gayness. "It's fun and easy to fuck with you."

You stood there frozen even after Natasha walked a few steps back to give you some space. Leyla's voice snapped you out of it. She was still gone but you could hear her talking loudly in the distance.

"Someone send a medic to Y/N. I think she is having a huge gay panic." You hid your face in your hands after hearing Leyla telling the other agents. Nat giggled quietly to herself but you still heard her. It really was going to be a hellish long day.

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After two weeks of quarantine and painful isolation, you all got checked out throughly by a doctor before being able to go back to the main compound area. The Avengers all greeted you back, hugs and kisses on your cheeks were given. Wanda was so nicely and made a warm welcome back meal. Everyone ate it with big smiles on their faces, praising Wands for her cooking skills and being thankful for making such great food. Afterwards Yelena and you went to your rooms while Kate went to the archer training room to practice her aim again and Natasha just simply disappeared without saying where she was going.

It was around 6pm when you decided to get ready for bed and relax with a smutty book. You were relieved to have your privacy back, two weeks without any kind of sexual pleasure had you rilled up, it also didn't help that Natasha constantly walked around in a tank top and did her workout stretches right in front of you. You jumped into you bed and grabbed the book, the begining of the story was slow at first but got steamy fast. Before you could even reach the dirty part that you craved reading, a body plopped down next to you.

"Whatcha reading?" The freshly showered black widow asked you while she placed her hand on your stomach and nuzzling her whole body into your side.

Though you were extremely frustrated that you couldn't even get to the start of fucking yourself, it washed away by all the embarrassment you were feeling of getting caught reading smut. "Nothing." It came out of you too fast, Natasha only wanted to make a bit of small talk before falling asleep but your quick nothing got her curious. "Y/N, what's the book about?"

"Sapphic love." More like sapphics making love but she didn't need to know that. Natasha immediately knew that you weren't telling her everything so she was going after the book herself. You squealed and tried your best to hide the book but she simply sat on your lower stomach and somehow got ahold of both of your wrists and held them above your head. The book was in her free hand and she opened it easily to read things out loud from a random page.

"You couldn't wait for Ella's finger to enter you. The imagination alone had you wet, your underwear was soaking and it clinged to your body in way that made you eager to remove it." Nat's green eyes went wide, she absolutely didn't expect this kind of stuff. "I-"

"Let's just forget this ever happened, okay?"

"This is how you get off?" She let go of your wrist but didn't make a move to get off your body.

"Duh! It's obviously better than watching porn."

"Why don't you just ask Wanda like almost everyo-?" "What?" You stared at her in shock. Was this why everyone was always THAT satisfied after they bragged about the sex they 'just' had. "Wanda's magic is heavenly. Her mist makes you feel so vulnerable and kisses all of you sensitive spots and when it penetrates you.. god, it's an orgasm you'll never forget."

"Now I have a vivid image in my head of Wanda fucking you and the others with her magic.. thanks." You shut your eyes in hope of loosing that image. "You're welcome."

Natasha rolled off you in one move, laying next to you again and closing her eyes too. Both of you wish each other a good night before quickly falling asleep.

It was a couple days after the smut book incident when you woke up extremely sweaty and disoriented. After a few seconds you realized that you were drenched in sweat, your clothes were wet and your mattress was moist. Panic immediately rised inside of you, it consumed you so much that you almost emptied your stomach the second you stood up. You got up and walked slowly to your bathroom with the last strength you had. The sight of yourself in the mirror shocked you, an extremely pale- almost ghostly white version of you stood there and stared back. "Jarvis, call Nat."

"Calling Natasha now." The A.I. told you in it's human-robotic voice and it didn't take long before you heard her calling your name.

"Nat, I don’t feel so good." It was the last thing you got out before everything went black.

Tags: @janashstorm , @marvelwomen-simp , @wifeofnatasharomanoff , @lizlil , @how-to-disappearrr , @wandanats-goodgirl , @natsxwife

#natasha romanoff #black widow #natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #natasha romanoff x fem!reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha x reader #natasha x y/n #the avengers #black widow x female reader #black widow x you #Silent Series

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