#should i keep reading im very distracted today or should i watch that movie with michelle yeoh that just won everything
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inkheart vs inkspell/inkdeath is one of my favorite things to rant about but like.
in inkheart dustfinger refuses to dwell on what and who he's lost because the grief is making him insane so he doesn't tell us anything and all we get about the inkworld is hateful, unreliable snippets from capricorn and basta so you think, yeah, this man is kind of a lunatic to be willing to be so horrible and to suffer so much in return for the chance to return to so little.
then you get through the rest of the series and see how extremely loved dustfinger is by so many people and it paints the first book in such a different light that it makes me rabid knowing the majority of people just stop there. like most people have to just. believe basta of all people and never know that dustfinger is being grieved by the people who raised him and grew up with him and worked with him and chose him and whose nights were less dark just because he existed. I'd burn the skin off my hands too for that kind of love.
#cmiiw but the last one is specifically for mina talking to resa about watching him perform when she was little#i think it was mina?#hm#but like im stabbing knives into both of my eyes bc basta really has been groomed into caring for no one but capricorn#he cant even fathom the love and loyalty of two little boys who decided fate brought them together bc their names both start with n#but if you only read inkheart you ALSO dont understand AHHHHHHHHHGHHHH#theres SO MUCH to miss out on how do i convince everyone on the planet to finish the series#ksjdjskka this post is brought to you by inkheart having 400k ratings on goodreads while inkdeath has 80k#im fine im so normal rn im fine it's fine#says kenna#should i keep reading im very distracted today or should i watch that movie with michelle yeoh that just won everything#OR the green knight. been wanting to see that for years. dev patel in it is exactly how i picture verity farseer so i could go for swooning#inkheart
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its friday night/saturday morning, you know the drill
im sorry
pls gimme more threezo today
i love him and his fluffy curly hair so so so much
MY BOYS
pls tell me what happened to zo
HIM AND HIS WORRIED BOYFRIEND FACE GHRBGHJR
he just wants him to be okay 🥺😭
HE SAID IT
im crying
why do these two have to make me FEEL things?
somehow in my head i read “hes mad as a hatter” in the voice of a little british lad and its very amusing to me and now you know
specifically a little british lad from an old movie where the audio is all crackly and too loud
LOOK AT THE MAN’S HAIR
no i will not shut up about his hair
bro you are not subtle
bro you are not subtle
MY BOY
i know i just watched 1000stars like three days ago, but it always makes me so happy whenever his incredibly but beautifully thick eyebrows appear on my screen.
im just realising how weird that sound
i meant his eyebrows along with the rest of his face
the existence of drake sattabut laedeke makes me happy
thats what i was trying to say
ooo yes i was hoping for more detail on jack’s depression. he really intrigues me as a character
me every day
hell yeah, consent is key, folks
the mattress is on an angle
thats really bugging me
can someone fix that please
surely thats some kind of safety hazard
why doesnt the mattress fit the bed frame
why isnt there some way to keep the mattress in place
what if youre a restless sleeper and you toss and turn and you fall off the bed and you knock your head on it?
if you knock it hard enough you could get a concussion
concussions arent good
they can lead to a lot of bad consequences
people should think more about concussions and concussion consequences when they design beds
concussion consequences is fun to say
concussion consequences concussion consequences concussion consequences, say it 5 times fast
oh yeah that’s right, theyre kissing
i got distracted by the mattress
the group is together!! :DD
i love their group dynamics
but most importantly
THREEZO
i am no longer enjoying the group dynamics
why do they have to fightttt
(i lied, im still enjoying the group dynamics. in fights, people are hurtful but truthful, so fights give a huge insight into the characters which is wonderful for analysis and picking the character apart)
this is the second episode in a row that three has lost his temper on the others a little bit and left the room at the end and zo has said ‘ill check on him’ and followed after him
anyway i love zo for it
he is good boyfriend
he is good friend
he is... hungry i think
^D^
i freaking love this man
bro their relationship is so freaking healthy
zo asks for permission to enter the room
he ignores the response, but only to keep him company. and i suspect that he knows him really well and knows that three should have someone with him, just to be there with him and help him relax
and he tries to bring three’s attention from the thoughts swirling around his mind and onto his physical presence, and three gets a little angry
but he communicates with zo, he tells him that he will answer questions, just not at that moment. he’s telling him that he’s willing to talk and communicate, but he needs time to understand so that he can explain his thoughts and feelings coherently. and he doesnt push zo away, either physically or verbally, so he tells him without words that he appreciates his presence, and he’s glad to have him there. he just cant really verbally communicate what’s going on right now, and that’s okay!
and then zo speaks to him. he gives him words of comfort, affirmation, support. he also provides the perspective of the others, a snippet of an insight into life outside of his own mind. “we all really did our best.”
“just because we lost once doesnt mean we will lose forever” ITS SO COMFORTING AND PERFECT how does he always seem to know the right thing to say
PLEASE THEYRE TOO CUTE
...
you know what im thinking
the msp brainrot is too strong
YIM SE YIM SE YIM SE
NGOW NGOW
anyway
VRJHDF HE SAID IT AGAINNNNN
i couldve gone more in depth about why theyre perfect but it’s 1am and im tired so i wont
“your hug can actually kill me. but im willing to die in your arms, zo” YOURE KIDDING. IT’S TOO CUTE. THEYRE TOO CUTE. THEYRE DESTROYING ME. AAAAAAAAAA VJRENJKR
I KNEW SHE KNEW
SOMEONE HAD TO KNOW AND THAT SOMEONE HAD TO BE AOI
reminding me of tinn’s little head scratch and “what just happened” in episode 4 after he accidentally made sound join the music club via hatred of him
oh hell yes, obligatory beach episode next week
the obligatory beach episode almost always ends up as my favourite episode
OMG THREEZO AT THE BEACH
I CANT WAIT
FINAL THOUGHTS:
im really glad cher and gun have finally figured out their relationship
i need to go to sleep
threezo are the greatest
#quodekash rambles about abaab#abaab#a boss and a babe#a boss and a babe series#a boss and a babe the series#threezo#zothree#ohmfluke#flukeohm#ohm thiphakorn#fluke pusit#mike chinnarat#guncher#chergun#forcebook#force jiratchapong#book kasidet#bookforce#jack abaab#abaab jack#jack's almighty curly hair#drake sattabut's almighty eyebrows
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ems.. so I did something embarrassing today and I can't stop thinking abt it. earlier our adviser was speaking and he cracked his voice and I accidentally like, laughed it was a laugh more like a snort and it was so quiet everyone heard it including him, IDK WHY I KEEP EMBARRASSING MYSELF ISTG. I KEEP DOING THINGS THAT'LL STICK WITH ME UNTIL I DIE. but besides that I'm okay, I JUST CANT BELIEVE I COULDN'T HOLD THAT IN, AND BESIDE ME WAS A MALE. HES SOOO ANNOYING. IDK HE PROLLY MADE FUN OF ME IN HIS HEAD CAUSE I LAUGHED. I FUCKINsbfausbfo. sometimes I wish I just disappear. ISTG I HATE ATTENTION THIS IS WHY I HATE ATTENTION. ALSO WHY I DON'T LIKE SPOTLIGHT CAUSE IM AFRAID, OF JUDGEMENT. I'm scared of letting A LOT of people know me cause then they'll know everything and if I embarrass myself or do something wrong they will know they'll see. I WAS RETHINKING THIS WHETHER I SHOULD TELL U OR NOT BUT ISTG I CANT STOP THINKING ABT IT. Idk maybe the ppl in my class prolly forgot abt it but the problem is I can't cause I'm the one who embarrassed myself, I hate embarrassing myself cause it'll stick with me. I'll prolly think about it randomly when going to bed and mentally slap myself. I FEEL BAD FOR DOING THAT TO MY ADVISER. ITS NOT HIS PROBLEM. REALLY, ITS ME IDFK ANYMORE.
I don't know how I'll calm myself, I mean I am calm rn I just can't process anything right now. I'll read your content, watch movies/k-drama, prolly take a nap to distract myself from today😔updating you is actually making me feel better. everyday when I have time to update you and I do, I feel stress relieved. oh and the k-drama I'm currently watching is cheer up, its quite interesting. I saw it on tiktok and wanted to watch it because of the drama😭
anyway, besides that congratulations on 1k!! (forgot to congratulate you earlier) f2f is over for me (for now) how's school? I hope you're okay! 💙
-m💙
LMFKJSNCKJNS MOONIE PLEASE, I TOTALLY GET HOW YOU FEEL BUT I RPOMSIE YOU ONE DAY YOU WILL LITERALLY FORGET THIS EVER HAPPENED PLEASE DONT WORRY TOO MUCH. IM TELLING U RN EVERYONE COMPLETELY FORGOT YOU DID THAT LIKE FIVE MONUTES AFTER IT HAPPENED OKAY??? NAHHSHHUSNAH ITS HONESTLY A BIT FUNNY CMON YOI HAVE TO ADMIT. BUT ALSO YES I GET WHAT YOU MEAN, BUT FR THIS IS A UNIVERSAL EXPERIENCE 😭 EVERYONE HAS EMBARRASSING MOMENTS THAT RANDOMLY COME BACK T US LATER, ITS OKAY LOVE HSKUSNSN
AWW, im glad updating me calms you down shdjdh yes go watch a new show or smthn!! UGH NGL I HAVENT WATCHED ANY KOREAN SHOWS BESIDES UHH ALL OF US ARE DEAD, SQUID GAME AND SWEET HOME :( I ALSO WATCHED A FEW EPISODES OF SKYCASTLE BUT IT WAS LOWKEY ASS 💀💀💀
AAHH THANK YOU DEAR I APPRECIATE IT!! mmm, schools okay ig 😭 i’m just very bad at studying 😭 i keep procrastinating i’m like “i’ll do my hw later” THEN IT JUST KEEPS GETTING LATER UNTIL I GO TO SLEEP AND THEN I END UP NOT DOING IT 💀💀💀 but uhhh IM SURVIVING (besides gym and math 💀) !!! ✊✊ ON A BRIGHTER NOTE I FINISHED SOME BRAINSTORMING AND BEGAN WRITING MY NEXT LONGFIC WHICH IS GONNA BE FOR JUNGWON !! i’m vv excited, i dunno if it’s gonna surpass behind the net’s word count tho 😔😔😔
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☆ [nostalgic] summer romance!au yukhei
happy (not tooooo late at all, for a change lol) birthday yukhei!~
find others here: johnny | haechan | taeil | taeyong | mark | jaemin | yangyang | yuta | sicheng | chenle | kun
“that’s the worst sound i have ever heard in my life.”
you stand up too fast from behind the counter and bump your head with an ouch before looking to see what sicheng is complaining about now
outside the window of the cafe, you see a group of laughing boys and the bright, loud dirt bikes they’ve started riding around town
the sound of the engines and skidding tires managing to make their way through the windows
you wipe your hand on the front of your uniform’s apron and shrug
“i think they’re kind of cool.”
sicheng swivels around on the creaky bar stool, a script open halfway through is laying beside his iced-coffee
“extreme sports is just the polite way to say hey, this shit will get you killed”
you roll your eyes and check the clock that hangs above the display of baked goods and menu - almost eight, so almost time to close
you point it out to sicheng who packs his things up, you go over to help an elderly regular clean up their table and when the customer leaves you tell sicheng he doesn’t have to wait up for you
he throws his bag over his shoulder and looks over his shoulder at the parked dirt bikes
“hey, if one of them bothers you when you’re locking up just call me.”
“im pretty sure they’re not even going to notice me.”
sicheng still frets as he slips out of the door
you hum as you fall into your end of the day routine. you’ve been working here part-time through university, but with summer coming around, you’ve come on full-time
it’s a lot of work for one person, but the boss trusts you like their own children, and you actually enjoy having the quiet responsibility of locking up
you sweep the floor, put away all of the left over food and milk in the fridge, check the register and print-out the sales for the day
your last task is to close all of the blinds, the cafe always has them up in the summer, the tops open to let a slight breeze in when it coasts by
as you go through each them, you finally reach the last one that faces directly out of the front of the cafe. out onto sidewalk across.
it’s right in front of the intersection where the sidewalk turns into the boardwalk, and there’s a bike rack and some parking spots
the dirt bikes have all been left there, tires soiled with wear and sand
beside one of the bikes, a sleek red bodied one with various silver accents, stands a lone figure
in the summer heat, he’s still got leather gloves on that clutch the matching colored helmet in one hand, long jeans and lace up heavy boots
the only breathable part of his outfit is the white tank top that clings to the obviously toned lines of his upper body
a silver chain hangs around his neck, the links look so small on his overall broad figure, but they still shine against his sun kissed skin
he chews on the end of a toothpick and staring -
you step back slightly - he’s staring right at you
something in your stomach feels off, the crossing wires of concern and shock tell you to enter a state of heightened awareness
scurrying back to your work, you tell yourself you are just seeing things. you should listen to sicheng, finish quickly and hurry home.
the summer sun is quietly being pushed out by the summer moon by the time you lock the front door of the cafe and drop the keys into your bag
you turn around and whisper a small - shit! - when the figure from before is still there
he’s probably waiting for his friends, but sicheng was all wound up about them so now i am to- oh wait i think he’s coming over here!
and you’re right, the figure looks both ways before he crosses the street and jogs easily up to you
suddenly your hand itches to fish those keys out of your bag because what can a guy (a very handsome guy, up close) on a dirt bike have to do with you-
“hi - do you work in the cafe?”
he asks, voice deeper than you expect, his eyes are large and the color of autumn chestnuts
“um-yes?”
he sees the way your shoulders are tensed and he immediately retracts himself a step backwards
he puts his hands up, helmet still in his right, “oh right - sorry to scare you, i was just asking because ive seen you around-”
something like a flush coats under his cheeks
“wait - that sounds weird too, i just meant to say that i think you’re - that i wanted to know your name is all....”
you blink, your shoulders don’t relax completely, but you can tell there isn’t any bad intent coming from him
“well, what's your name first.”
he stands up taller and grins, white teeth almost blinding in the dusk
“wong yukhei! i came here for the summer with some of my buddies.”
he tilts his head toward the bikes and you nod, saying only your first name - sichengs cautiousness seeping into your own
yukhei repeats it, with an almost a bit of a goofyness in his smile when he does
“well - ill see you around then?”
you aren’t sure what to make of the situation, so you just shrug - “maybe?” - he seems satisified with this answer though, and crosses back to his bike
you don’t know why, but you feel embarrassed just standing there, so you shuffle your feet and start your walk home
at some point you turn to look over your shoulder, right at the corner that you have to take, but when you do - yukhei and his bike are gone
“really? see, this is why i should stay while you lock up.”
sicheng’s eyebrow twitches as you finish telling him what happened
it’s the next day, and it’s noon - right when the days get the hottest and most of the cafe’s customers are just coming in for the free air conditioning
“i don’t think he’s dangerous, i think he just wanted to say hi.”
you answer, fixing what must be the twentieth order for shaved ice-cream
the slices of strawberry fall gently onto the heap, and you place two pairs of the forks beside the dish
carrying it carefully to the pick up counter, you call out the order number and watch as a young couple - still dressed in their beach attire - comes up together, unable to break apart for even a second
you smile at them and return to sicheng, taking his empty glass and turning to fill it up with ice
“you can think he’s not dangerous, but any idiot who owns a death trap like a dirtbike-”
“sicheng, it’s like a normal bike but with an engine. it’s like a car but without the-”
“the safety, without the safety. really - i didn’t think you’d be the type to be into bad guys like that.”
you make a pfft sound with your lips, filling the glass with water and setting it down beside him
“first off, im not into anyone - i talked to him once. and just because they like bikes, doesn’t make them bad - you’ve been reading too many of those cliché scripts.”
sicheng makes his own sound of disapproval, but takes the drink you offer and brings the straw to his lips
you get busy with other customers, at some point kun and xiaojun turn up and distract sicheng
the whole time you work, something in you keeps making you stop to look out of the window
last night, the row of bikes had been there, but now they’re gone - maybe they’re not coming into town tonight?
you reprimand yourself every time you do look, because really it is just like you said to sicheng - yukhei was just saying hi.
finally it’s time for you to close the cafe again
the only reason sicheng doesn’t stay is because kun drags him somewhere else and if there’s anyone more stubborn than sicheng, it’s the elder of the pair
you take your time - calling the boss to let him know you’re leaving
“did that group of loud boys wreck havoc again?”
“group of boys?”
“the ones on those bikes, not motorcycles the other ones-”
your hand gets a little sweaty as it holds the phone
“no, they didn’t come around today.”
“good. be safe going home.”
you think about the conversation as you subconsciously start walking after you lockup
there’s a way to get home that’s faster, and much safer, but there’s a longer way too - that has you walk most of the boardwalk
really, it’s still safe - because of summer the beach is as bright as a movie screen till midnight - but you avoid it for the crowd and the noise
your feet urge you to turn at your usual corner, but you don’t, you make way to the little stairs that lead from the sidewalk and onto the old wooden boardwalk
there are lots of people still about, packing their things up from their time at the beach or coming to stroll by the waves when the sand isn’t burning under their feet
groups of friends, smiling strangers, couples with kids or without
everyone is enjoying their summer, and you almost feel out of place because your summer is going just as you thought it would. completely uneventful. long days at the cafe, lonely nights in your room
“oh?”
you hear your name suddenly and turn your head left to see yukhei leaning against one of the benches
on the bench are what look like some of his fellow friends, some have those moto jackets you’ve only seen on tv hanging off their shoulders and others are drinking out of cups and swinging the keys to their bikes around their fingers
yukhei comes over to you and everyone in his crew throws a look over their shoulder
you blink when he stops in front of you - right, you think, he’s pretty tall
“are you getting off work?”
“yep”
“it’s really late, your boyfriend doesn’t ever walk you home?”
“boyfriend?”
you retort almost sarcastically, because where did the sudden idea that you - walking alone on a boardwalk made for summer romance - have a boyfriend
yukhei scratches the back of his neck and you notice some scrapes on his elbows
“oh there’s the guy - in the cafe with you all the time, he glares a lot - uh-”
“sicheng? oh no, he’s a friend.” you can’t help but chuckle “but you’re right he doesn’t smile often.”
yukhei seems to suddenly beam at the confirmation, which makes something inside of you feel a little warm, but awkward so you point to his injuries
“bike accident?”
he pokes at the yellowing flesh and winces, “yeah. but it happens a lot.”
“it seems like a dangerous sport, do you not mind getting hurt?”
the question is more curiosity than anything - you’re not trying to be mocking or even mean - and yukhei can tell from the way you’re still casting a concerned look at his other arm for evidence of any other “accidents”
“i mean i mind it, but i love it too much to give up”
yukhei laughs and it sounds nice, pleasant - people with good laughs tend to have good hearts
“and im not really good at anything else. like if i was to be a waiter in a cafe like you, id probably hurt myself a lot more than i do on a dirt bike”
you want to correct him, you’re technically not a waiter - but a barista - but you stop because you are slightly transfixed by the kindness that glows from him
you’ve never seen someone else radiate so......positively
suddenly one of his friends calls out his name, asks if he’s going to join them as they head back to get their bikes
yukhei looks at you before he answers - “i could walk you home, since it is late.”
“that’s ok, thank you for offering.” you push your hands behind your back a little as you tell him goodnight, before you’re a couple of steps away someone from his group shouts out
“yukhei’s not only good with dirt bikes - he’s a good kisser too-”
by the sound of it, yukhei jumps on his friend and tells him to shut up! you hear the aftermath of the scuffle, but don’t turn around as you giggle to yourself
a couple of times after that, you see yukhei simply in passing
sometimes you’re in the middle of your shift and he walks by the window with his friends, he looks up and sees you and waves - but he doesn’t come in
you wave back every time and a part of you pinches when he the door doesn’t open after
other times, you’ll see him after work - or you’ll hear his bike somewhere and he slows down to ask how work is before speeding off to catch up with friends
little bits and pieces of interactions, never anything more than that
you don’t really tell sicheng about it either, he grumbles enough about the noise they make and the other things he doesn’t like so you decide not to bother even though he’s a close friend
and the twilights of a little crush on yukhei are most definitely seeping into your brain
but everything changes when you find yourself closing the cafe after a super busy saturday, where you hadn’t been able to get everyone out until it hit past eleven.
the boss had thanked you profously and promised a good overtime check since you’d stayed so late
and you were too exhausted to be too mad about having to stay past your schedule
as you went through your routine, you nearly jumped from your skin when the door opened and you turned to explain - no really, you were closed now when you came face to face with yukhei
the side of his cheek is obviously bruised, scrapes that look like bad road rash cascade down past the angle of his jaw and onto his neck
he limps a little when he makes it across the doors threshold and you see dried blood on his knuckles
“yukhei?” you rush over and take him by forearm, making sure to hold onto the skin that isn’t covered in some kind of wound
“yukhei what are you doing here - did you fall off your bike, you have to go to a hospital now!”
not anywhere close to being a doctor, you can only prematurely tend to him with the cheap ass first aid kit from the kitchen
the entire time you keep saying that he has to go to the hospital
and yukhei mumbles that he doesn’t know where one is, his friends weren’t with him either - he got hurt alone - so he came to the only place that was close by and familiar
you look up at him - he’s sitting on the same bar stool that sicheng is usually in and you’re standing between his legs, bottle of ointment uncapped on the counter - bandages in your hand
“ok, ill take you - ill call a friend who has a car.”
“im ok.”
he lifts a hand and wraps it gently around your wrist. you can feel the wear on his skin from his leather gloves and old callouses from old injuries
he stares at you and the only light is from the kitchen, flickering on and off
“you’re not ok, you might have a more serious internal injur-”
“if i was bleeding inside, i would know.”
you frown, he says it like it has happened before - you wonder how many times has yukhei fell off his bike, or gotten hurt some other way - how many times has he done it alone
“fine, you don’t have to go now but go sometime soon. promise me.”
he looks at you, the autumn chestnut color you saw when you first met him is glazed now in a darker brown.
“ill promise you if you promise me something too.”
swallowing, you become acutely aware of how close you are - his knees are grazing either side of your thighs. your wrist is still in his lax hold.
you smell sweat, blood, and cologne on him. he smells the tiredness of your work on you.
“this isn’t a joke yukhei, i just want you to be-”
“i will go, i promise but promise me something too.”
“ok. ok fine, what? do you want free coffee or -”
“promise you’ll kiss me at least once before this summer is over.”
before you even realize it, you agree. simply because you want him so badly to go to the hospital, or at least that’s how you come to terms with it on your own.
you itch as the promise swirls around your head, even hours after you watched yukhei walk away from your front door - banged up and bruised and stilling insisting on walking you home
when you see sicheng the next day, you want to tell him about everything because your head feels like a tangled mess
but you don’t - you just pick at the strings of your apron, make drinks and heat up pastries
three days go by and yukhei doesn’t show himself anywhere. he’s not even in his group of friends who you see once again on the boardwalk one night after work
you somehow push past the nervous feeling and ask one of them where he is
“ah, his bike is all fucked up so he’s been mopping about it while it’s in the shop.”
“did he go to the hospital?”
the guy laughs, shakes his head - “knowing yukhei, probably not. but we haven’t seen him for a while either.”
you say thank you and turn to leave - you hear some kind of buzzing, some kind of mention of you and yukhei and what kind of ‘relationship’ you’re in - but you push past it
you don’t even know where he lives, let alone where he rides his bike so you can’t really go and check on him
you have to wait for him to come to you - that bothers you.
you stop and return to the group, who all simmer to silence when you come close again.
“where do you guys usually ride your bikes?”
you’ve never been this far up the beach, mostly because this part is relatively blocked off from swimming because of the high ridges of rocks and the part of the coast that disappears into the mountains
there’s a trail for hikers that leads off and into the trees, but you don’t go there - worried you’ll get lost without a map or guidance
yukhei’s friends said they mostly biked here - dirt bikes aren’t motorcycles you know that right babe?
you cross your hands over your chest - on your one free day of the week, you want to be splayed out on your floor under a fan. not looking for yukhei - someone who is practically a stranger to you
is he though? we might have talked less times than i can count on all my fingers but would i really call him a stranger?
you look around but it seems barren, almost eerily quiet and isolated
so when the loud sound of an engine roars from that opening into the mountains, you almost teeter back
with a flair of dirt and sand that flies toward you in a storm, you hear a bike rip down and into dune
the red bike strikes against the sizzling backdrop of the summer day and your eyes widen when you see it do a half-circle and come to a halt
yukhei pulls the helmet off and shakes his sweaty hair from his forehead - he looks over at you and you think you have lost the ability to speak
i know im supposed to be angry and concerned, but he looks so hot it’s almost unfair
the road rash on his cheek is healing better than expected, but his wounds are all still clear as day - scabbing as they heal
he doesn’t get off the bike - just looks at you and then beckons you over with a tilt of his head
you almost protest because you came here to be all strong willed and insist that he go see the doctor, also when did his bike get out of the shop?
but you bend to the command and make your way over
he kills the engine and stares at you - you stare back
“where have you been?”
“i went to the hospital like i promised.”
the sudden confession makes you drop your hands - “really! what did they say?”
“no internal bleeding.” he leans his body slightly over the side of his bike “told you id know if i was dying.”
“still, im happy you went. it’s better to be safe than so-”
he drops his helmet on the sand and your sentence cuts off with the sound
“so i kept my promise, do you want to keep yours now?”
don’t be silly, im not kissing you - you don’t even like me and i don’t -
all the excuses in your brain just get lost in the jumble that’s already made a home up there, so you just decide that fine. you will keep that idiotic, dumb, heat of the moment promise.
you grab yukhei by the sides of his tank top, starling him as you push yourself toward his mouth
using the leveraged grip you let your hold relax only enough so that you can dig your nails through the fabric and into the skin of his ribs
yukhei makes a growling noise into your mouth that is somehow more sweltering than the summer sun
he cranes his neck slightly so when you run your tongue across the slip of his lips he can easily grant you any of the access you require, one hand goes up to grip the back of his neck
he takes one hand from the handles of the bike and slips it to the small of your back - then up between your shoulder blades as he pushes you closer
it’s supposed to be one kiss. one little, flimsy kiss, and yet the attraction you feel between you two is so charged that you cannot stop
you only break back to see if yukhei feels the same thing, and it is written all over his face, he does
that and the way he tells you to step back as he gets off the bike, it falls to the sand and you start to ask why in the world he’s so careless with everything when he just wraps you up in his arms and starts kissing you again
“i wont be careless when it comes to you”
his mouth is magical, even more so as it drags down to your neck and the layer of sweat between your bodies is threatening to turn to fucking cement and keep you stuck in this embrace for the rest of eternity (not that either of you would mind)
but it’s so hot and you are not about to fall back on this sand - so you somehow manage to tell yukhei to meet you later tonight
“want a ride home?” he pants, but you unglue yourself from the plane of his perfect chest and shake your head, “meet me at ten.”
yukhei is there on time. he didn’t bring his bike, which is a good idea considering the noise it would make, he looks so sweet when you come downstairs and he asks if you want to go on a date
a date, like go get dinner if you haven’t had any or play boardwalk games until midnight
you say yes. just not tonight
yukhei’s look of childish confusion makes you laugh as you take his hand and lead him back inside.
sicheng might have warned you about yukhei being “bad”, the only little problem is you might have always been the “bad” one all along
with how big, strong, dirt biking yukhei looks up at you with absolute awe as you forgo chitchat over shared ice-cream and push him down onto the sheets of your bed
in the morning, you have to go to work and yukhei has to leave through the window, but you kiss him one last time and he mumbles he’ll meet you after your shift
“now i do have a boyfriend to walk me home, huh?”
you giggle and yukhei nearly trips over himself at the word
you do let yukhei take you on a date, of course you do - and it’s as soft and sweet as you expect because yukhei is the opposite of what he looks like at first glance
all the bruises, all the confidence, all the arrogant handsomeness that is ingrained in his perfect features is just a cover. he’s a big teddy bear.
refusing to let you pay, giving you his jacket, offering to come over early and help you lock up
holding your hand gently, kissing your forehead when you complain about dumb customers, the absolute sugary-sweet pillow talk that sometimes makes you feel like you’re in a hallmark movie romcom
when sicheng catches yukhei with a hand around your waist on the boardwalk - he nearly calls the police, but you explain everything - sans the more intimate details and it takes a long time for sicheng to accept it but
you are happy, god you are so happy it is pouring out of you - especially when you are with yukhei
even your boss warms up to him (only him, the rest of his buddies are basically barred from coming into the cafe)
and yukhei, when you see him with others, it’s obvious that he is an extroverted charmer - one afternoon he helps you with orders and when he returns, the receipt is covered in numbers
of course - he crumples it and tosses it into the garbage as he lets a secret hand sneak up your shirt behind the shield of the counter
and then, the summer is whisking away, and you feel the first kisses of autumn when yukhei is helping you steady yourself on the dirt bike - even though you refuse to actually ever ride it
you shiver at the breeze and yukhei feels your goosebumps under his fingertips
“hey, are you going to leave once summer is over - i know you and your friends are just staying here because it’s a great place to bike but-”
he leans down and buries his face in your hair
“why, you gonna miss me if i leave?”
you reach behind you to try and flick him, but he dodges
“i just wanted to know - if i should get ready for heartbreak or-”
“don’t ever say that, i would never hurt you.”
his tone drops and you know he’s being serious
“i love you and im not going anywhere.”
he helps you off the bike and then pulls you into his arms
“promise?”
you whisper, but yukhei hears it and you feel him nod
“promise.”
a couple of years later, you hear a loud sound from the living room and rush out to the garage
you see yukhei rubbing his head - wrench in one hand and a broken looking bike on the floor
“what happened?!”
“i didn’t put the kick stand down all the way so it toppled over”
you kneel down beside him and examine him for any wounds,
yukhei watches you and the concern that is always so bright and tender in your eyes when it comes to him
you turn his hand over to make sure, the engagement band on his finger catches the light as you do
the matching one on your hand feels cool against his skin.
“you’re so careless, seriously!”
you puff your cheeks out and chide him with all the love, he smiles back and leans in to kiss your frown
“true, but im never careless with you.”
you roll your eyes, but it’s true - ever since he first said it till now.
#ok in my defense.......i think dirt bikes are cooler than just motorcycles.#also the suits they were during xgames is so cool like imagine yukhei in one#yukhei au#lucas au#nct au#wayv au#lucas imagines#yukhei imagines#wayv#lucas#yukhei#blood/#wayv imagines#wayv scenarios#yukhei scenarios#lucas scenarios#nostolgic au
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Enemies-to-lovers!Changbin
request: Hiiiii I read you bangchan enemies to lovers au and I swear if I could like a post more than once I'd like that one a MILLION TIMES I'm wondering if maybe you could write an enemies to lovers au for changbin pretty please? 🥺🥰
genre: enemies-to-lovers!au (again, not Super extreme, low-key clash bc they’re both stubborn), film club president!Changbin, childhood penpal!au (fluff, very mild angst, they bicker a lot, kind of cheesy bc changbin’s a sap and we know that)
pairing/s: Changbin / Reader (ft some skz members)
word count: 17k+
tw: mild coarse language (they say shit a lot LOL)
a/n: THE ANON WHO REQUESTED THIS...IM PRETTY SURE you waited months for this so thank you for being so so so patient!! I decided to try something a little different from my usual style but idk if it’s That Obvious, but its more structure wise I guess, but nonetheless, I'll be getting a little busier soon so I’m not sure If I'll be able to put out Full one shots for the next few months but I'll try my best w those little shorter ones maybe! (I'll have to see how Tired I am) also p.s I love this gif thank u to whoever made it but changbin is blonde in this fic bc of Personal Reasons
To: my penpal Y/N
How are you?
I had a good day today. Sorry if the paper is crunchy I am writing this on my bed because my mom thinks I am already asleep. Today I went out with my mom and we went to the park and ate some sandwiches at the park. We had a picnic but with no juice because my sister finished everything. And then we went to the toy shop after lunch. I saw a keychain of a camera and bought it for you because you like acting and cameras can take a video of you acting.
This is a picture of me next to the wishing well at the park, you cannot see it but i’m making a peace sign. I threw a coin in the well and made a wish that your audition will be good. I know you will do very well because you practiced a lot for it. That’s all. I’m a bit tired now. Goodnight, or good morning if you are reading this in the morning. Or afternoon.
I hope i’ll be hearing from you soon,
Binnie.
“So, do you wanna keep them? If not I can chuck them together with the rest of your old things,” your mom began, already reaching over to take the letter from you.
Your eyes widened just as quickly, shaking your head quickly as you gripped the envelope and its contents behind your back away from her reach.
“No, no. Don’t throw them away,” you said sternly, softening your gaze when you noticed the way her eyebrows had raised in amusement, embarrassment washing over your features.
“I’ll keep them. Gimme the box.”
Your mom set the beaten looking converse shoebox down onto the table, shaking her head at you as a small chuckle escaped her. Mental note to transfer the letters to a smaller (and more durable) box.
“Alright, alright,” she waved her hands at you in dismissal, “hurry up or you’ll be late for school.”
She shut the door behind her with a light thud, leaving you to stare at the grainy polaroid your childhood penpal had sent you when you both were only eight and still exchanging letters every week.
Inhaling deeply, you shoved the polaroid picture back into the envelope, slipping it into the box of envelopes before getting up. You figured that was a box you wouldn’t have the time to delve into when you were already keeping Jisung waiting.
Driving as fast as you could (or as fast as you dared to) within the speed limit, you’d reached your campus soon enough. It wasn’t that long of a drive and it would be even shorter (walking distance to be specific), when you move into your apartment nearer to campus in a few days. But that didn’t change the fact that you were running late now, spotting Jisung standing by the fountain with a sour look on his face that had only deepened once he’d spotted you.
Before an utterance of apology could leave you, Jisung had pursed his lips, stretching out his hand that held your cup of drink, a small hint of a smile playing at his lips.
“I’m starting to wonder which one of us has worse time management,” he sighed deeply, shaking his head with feigned disappointment as he glanced at his nonexistent watch on his wrist.
Jisung was one to talk, for sure. His crumpled looking shirt over baggy cargo pants and a hat to cover his head of messy hair told you his journey to school wasn’t exactly ‘leisurely’ either.
You rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your drink and sighing at the taste, “it’s definitely you. I was only late today ‘cause my mom was showing me my old stuff she found in the storeroom.”
Jisung waved you off, “fine, whatever,” he fished his phone out of his pocket as you started walking towards the auditorium for a class you were both dreading.
“Oh, shit, Hyunjin says the professor’s already in class, we should hurry up.”
Quickening your pace, you were glad to have reached before your professor had started, Jisung directing you towards where Hyunjin was seated at the side of the auditorium, giving him a small nod as you sat down.
Not that Hyunjin noticed anyway, the said boy busy with messaging someone on his phone with a frown on his face.
“What are you doing?”
Jisung peered over Hyunjin’s shoulder, frankly not wanting to focus on the lesson as the professor played a video on boring business things he figured he could just ask you for later.
Hyunjin sighed, setting his phone down onto the table and pushing his laptop open further, going to his email with quick clicks on his trackpad, “gotta send the scene for the auditions later to Changbin.”
“Oh, for that film thing?” Jisung asked, earning a nod from Hyunjin, whose eyebrows furrowed as they remembered your presence.
“Y/N should audition,” Hyunjin nodded his head towards you, his mention of your name distracting you momentarily, but you’d brushed it off quickly as you tried to take down whatever your professor was rambling on about.
At your lack of response, Jisung nudged your shoulder with more force, “hey, did you hear what Hyunjin said?”
You tore your gaze reluctantly from your professor as your fingers finished typing whatever you had left in your memory, the confused look on your face prompting Hyunjin to take over.
“We’re having auditions later for the movie the film club’s gonna be making,” he started, nodding slowly as his eyebrows raised, “I was saying you should join, you’d be good for the role.”
You narrowed your eyes at Hyunjin, “what’s it about?”
Jisung huffed, “some cheesy penpal shit, the last I heard.”
Your quirked an eyebrow at that, Hyunjin rolling his eyes.
“Something like that, but it’s not super romantic. They’re childhood penpals who meet again in the future but they don’t end up together, I don’t know how to explain it to you as well as Changbin can, but will you come anyway?”
You scrunch your nose as you consider his offer.
Was there anything you needed to prepare? You didn’t even know exactly what you were signing up for. Or much less anyone in the film club. Well, other than Hyunjin, of course.
“Is there any script I'm supposed to prepare with?” you asked, making Hyunjin’s eyebrows raise, his lips parting in realisation.
“I’m pretty sure it depends on what role you want…” he trailed off, making you scoff.
Not being able to help the laugh from escaping you, you narrowed your eyes at him, “you sound like you’re not even in the club.”
Hyunjin flashed you a sweet smile, “you know what? I’ll just send you what I sent Changbin. You can just prepare with that! Penny’s role!”
Jisung snorted, his hand coming up in a poor attempt to stifle his giggles.
“Penny? Is it because...she’s a pen pal?”
You pressed your lips into a firm line, finding it awfully amusing as well.
Hyunjin frowned, scrunching his nose up in distaste, “we couldn’t think of anything better, okay?”
You huffed, lower lip jutting out in a small pensive pout. You didn’t have much going on in terms of school productions as of now, anyway, you guessed there would be no harm in showing some support for Hyunjin.
“What time are the auditions?”
“They start from lunchtime until like five,” Hyunjin tried his best to recall, looking at you with his best pleading gaze.
Sighing again, you nodded, “this is my only class for today.”
Hyunjin was practically beaming now.
“Perfect.”
===
“I don’t like it.”
Hyunjin sputtered over his sip of coffee, an incredulous expression on his face, attracting looks from the other film club members in the dance studio. Excusing himself, he’d made his way outside, oblivious to the squeals and stares the girls waiting to audition were directing towards him, settling himself in the middle of the field outside the dance studio.
“What do you mean, ‘you don’t like it’?” he asked you again, his eyebrows furrowed as curiosity took over him.
You sighed, rolling your shoulders back as you nodded at one of your teachers you were walking past, your grip relaxing on your phone as your arm had started to get tired.
“I mean, I read through the script, and something about Penny’s character just doesn’t sit right with me,” you told him, “it just… doesn’t make sense for her to come to that conclusion when she’d been having a perfectly good time with the guy before that, you know?”
Pausing, you’d waited for him to respond, his silence prompting you to continue with your elaboration.
“Okay, I’ll put it this way,” you started, adjusting your grip on your laptop in your arm, “If I were a reader, or like, a viewer in this case, I would wanna be able to pick up on these small moments or signs that Penny is actually thinking about her relationship, do you know what I mean? Because now the way it looks is that she’s just a plot device meant to hurt him, and that there’s no exploration of the development of their relationship at all.”
Hyunjin let out a deep sigh, “Okay, I know, I know, but the thing is… this was Changbin’s idea, and I don’t know if you’ve heard—I mean, you probably have, but… nobody really questions him.”
You hummed, following Hyunjin into the school building and tugging your coat tighter around yourself, the cold air in the building shocking you as you entered.
“Yeah, I get that, but you’re forgetting that I don’t have the same relationship with this Changbin guy that you guys do. I don’t mind telling him that I have a problem with it. I don’t wanna be acting out some two-dimensional love interest character if I can help it.”
Hyunjin grimaced, not seeming to be too keen on your insistence, “I really think it might be a little late for him to change the script.”
“It’s never too late.”
“Well to Changbin it could be!” Hyunjin insisted, making you roll your eyes, a small chuckle leaving you.
You huffed, “I still think the audience deserves a better film with better crafted characters.”
Hyunjin let out a sound in between a sigh and a groan, “Okay fine, you just have to make sure you get the role, and then you’re free to argue with Changbin all you want. Deal?”
“Deal,” You turned the corner and spotted Hyunjin standing in the middle of the field, already making his way back to the dance studio.
“Okay,” he spoke before you could end the call, “I gotta go, see you later.”
You didn’t expect there to be so many people at the auditions, mostly girls and just a handful of guys. Though you seemed to piece the uneven ratio together when you saw the not-so-furtive stares the girls would cast in Hyunjin’s direction whenever he’d peek his head out from the crack in the door to call the next person in.
You recognized one of the guys who’d come in later than you, one of Jisung’s upperclassmen friends whose name was Minho.
“Didn’t think i’d see you here,” he gave you a small smile as he took a seat next to you.
Shrugging in response, you let out an awkward huff of laughter, not used to talking to him about anything other than his cats and Jisung’s whereabouts.
“Yeah… well, Hyunjin asked me to come, so I figured I might as well,” you fiddled with the slip of paper with the scene printed on it, “not like I had anything better to do, anyway.”
Minho nodded slowly, leaning closer to you and dropping his voice to a murmur, “I’ve never seen any of these girls before.”
You huffed, “I’m pretty sure most of them are here for Hyunjin.”
“Oh yeah, makes sense,” Minho hummed, a small lilt of amusement to his tone, “where is he, anyway? He told me he would be here—”
Minho’s question was answered when the girls beside the both of you had erupted into harsh whispers and murmurs, tapping each other excitedly as Hyunjin could be seen through the window panel in the door, looking on seriously as one of the girls inside the room was auditioning.
You huffed, gesturing to the window.
“Found him.”
Inside the room, Changbin was distracted.
He knew he had a certain image in his head about what he wanted ‘Penny’ to be. But whatever the girls that had auditioned so far had been showing, that dramatic ‘i never loved you!’ emotion, that wasn’t exactly it. And it didn’t help either that they struggled letting go of the dramatics when Chan would prompt them to try a different angle.
Hyunjin cast a (mildly concerned) look at Changbin, trying to gauge his expression, figuring the pointed look Changbin had sent his way was enough to say he didn’t think this girl would be shortlisted.
“Who’s next?” Chan leaned over in his seat to peek at the clipboard of names of signups, Changbin leaning back in his seat and pushing the clipboard towards him, not finding it in him to be able to be more hopeful about the next person.
“Oh, Y/N,” Chan hummed, nodding with an impressed expression on his face, the name catching Changbin’s attention, “that’s cool, didn’t think they’d audition.”
“Y/N?” Changbin echoed, something about the name awfully familiar to him, yet not being able to make the connection in his memories yet.
So for now, he’d simply gestured to Hyunjin to signal that he could send the next girl in, Chan sweetly thanking the girl that had just auditioned as she left the room.
Making your way into the room, you scanned the ‘panel’ of judges.
You recognized Chan, the said pale-faced boy looking even more tired when he’d yawned as you made your way to the centre of the room. He came to your school productions often since he and Felix were friends, and Felix was always involved in some way or another. The other boy, though, you didn’t think you’d seen before.
The two of them seemed to exude completely different auras, with Chan smiling warmly at you and gesturing for you to come closer while the other boy sat with his arms folded across his chest, frowning at you as though you were a code to decipher.
“Hey, didn’t expect to see you here,” Chan broke the silence first, giggling.
You shook your head, “honestly didn’t think i’d sign-up either.”
You pressed your lips together in a tight-lipped smile, rocking back on your heels as you glanced at the boy next to him again, “I actually only heard about it from Hyunjin this morning,” you admitted, Hyunjin flashing Chan a grin from behind you as if to say ‘you’re welcome’.
Changbin cleared his throat, making Chan perk up.
“Right, sorry. So, we’ve obviously met but this is our club’s president Changbin,” he gestured to the boy sitting next to him.
Changbin nodded curtly, bringing his hand up to run it through his bleached hair and shoving his cap back on his head with habitual movements.
Now you were starting to understand why Hyunjin was so intimidated by Changbin, always having heard stories about him but only now being able to put a face to the name.
Nodding slowly, you gave him a smile, “nice to meet you, I’m Y/N.”
Changbin had to stop himself from faltering, his breath hitching when he realised why your name was so familiar.
After all, it had been the first candidate before they’d decided to go with ‘penny’. He wondered how cruel fate was to have brought you, someone with the same name as the person he’d practically based this story on, to be auditioning for the very role.
You tried not to be offended by the way Changbin had simply nodded at you, straightening up in his seat, “and you’ll be auditioning for the role of…?”
Would it hurt him to smile?
You inhaled deeply, trying to hide your amusement as you answered him, “Penny.”
Changbin nodded, Chan humming as he looked up from his copy of the script to give you another reassuring smile.
“Alright, whenever you’re ready. I’ll be taking the lines of the male lead,” Chan told you.
You understood that the scene was some sort of scene where the two romantic leads have some sort of confrontation, and you did your best to get into what you imagined Penny would be feeling, Chan reading the line asking if ‘penny’ had even loved him at all. Dramatic was the word to describe it, really.
You softened your gaze, unintentionally letting it rest on Changbin but deciding to let it stay there, executing your lines all the while trying to ignore the way Changbin’s stare was unnerving you, making you want to prove to him that you were a good actor even though he hadn’t questioned your acting skills.
Hyunjin had been watching the exchange closely, Changbin’s grip on his pencil loosening as he’d let the pencil fall softly against the table.
Changbin wondered if it was some sort of coincidence, because whatever ‘it’ was that he’d been looking for in Penny’s character, you’d managed to convey almost perfectly.
And it was clear that Chan had felt the same way as well, since once your audition was over, the smile on Chan’s face was nothing but beaming.
Once you’d left the room, Hyunjin telling you that they would contact you by the next morning, Chan had turned to Changbin, the same stupid smile on his face.
“That was great!” he nudged Changbin, the younger boy still recovering from the shock of the coincidence of it all, managing to muster a small huff in response.
“Yeah,” Changbin reached over to grab his water bottle, prolonging his silence as he took a long sip, “I don’t think we’d even need to see the rest.”
Chris scrunched his nose up, grinning, “but you know we still will, of course. Just in case.”
Changbin sighed, glancing at the clock, agreeing with Chan even though he knew he’d already had his mind made up.
“Yeah, just in case,” Changbin mumbled, looking out the window and seeing you talk to Minho, tearing his gaze away and rolling his shoulders back.
“Okay, send the next one in.”
===
To: Binnie
How are you?
I’m okay. I like the picture you sent me of you using your scooter. My mom says you look nice. I think so too.
Today I went to the museum and I ate an ice cream for lunch. I don’t have a picture of it but it was a Strawberry ice cream.
I just finished reading your letter. Sorry to say it using a bad word, but i think what your sister did was stupid. I think you should still tell her to ask for permission to use your scooter. But if she still does not listen, maybe you should tell her again. Because my mom always tells me that if I want something, I have to ask for it. So you should do that. Maybe she does not know you don’t like it when she plays with your scooter. Or, you could buy a new scooter. Here is some money so you can buy a scooter. I drew you $50 because that is a lot of money. I hope you have a good day when you read this.
Till next time,
Your penpal Y/N.
You weren’t the world’s kindest human alive, you had your petty moments. I mean, there were so many songs and literature and movies that highlighted that idea that no human was perfect, right? But you tried your best, surely.
So, you’d gladly complied when Hyunjin asked you to grab extra cups of coffee for Chan and Changbin (as reluctant as you were. You were strapped for cash as it was).
You figured that was the least you could do before the trouble you were about to cause the both of them. But hopefully, if office etiquette was anything to go by, the simple gesture would show that you were kind, and someone who appreciated the offer given to you, as much as you hated the superficiality of your character.
However, when you showed up at the room, you were reminded that Changbin wasn’t just anyone. And while Chan made his appreciation known, Changbin… was the same as ever. Intimidating, and very hard to read. The sight of it almost made you want to take back his coffee.
He wasn’t wearing a hat today. Instead, he’d let his blonde hair (which looked darker since the last time you saw him, or maybe it was just his dyed-black undercut) fall messily over his forehead in a slight side part.
His black shirt did nothing to hide his physique, every movement of his coming across as a subtle flex, making you have to remind yourself time and time again that you weren’t exactly here to fawn over him.
He would lean back in his seat, scrolling through whatever he was looking at in his phone with one hand, his other hand draped over his stomach and propped underneath his elbow to support it. The way he would look made it seem as if he was almost oblivious to the world around him, only paying attention to what was on his phone until he would laugh at something Chan said, Chan being the only person you’ve seen that managed to elicit seemingly uncharacteristic giggles from him.
Though it wasn’t as if you were given much time to get used to it. The moment Chan had murmured something in his ear, his expression had switched back to ‘strictly business’.
Chan straightened up, looking around the room with his eyebrows slightly raised in question, one hand adjusting the braided leather bracelet around his wrist
“So, shall we get started then?” Chan asked, gesturing to Changbin before typing away at his laptop.
Changbin took his cue, getting up from his seat and making his way around the table to the front of the room, pulling the overhanging screen up to reveal the whiteboard.
“So, first of all, we’ve finalised the actors playing the characters,” he gestured towards you and Minho, “Minho as Soobin and Y/N as Penny. So, we can start shooting about next week. I would say we’re working with a pretty loose deadline because we don’t have to submit it until a few months from now.”
Changbin rolled his shoulders back, his body language seeming fairly relaxed although his expression remained serious nonetheless, “but that doesn’t mean we should slack, obviously.”
His statement elicited a small groan from Hyunjin, who muttered a ‘figures’ under his breath, making you stifle your giggles for Changbin’s sake.
“But we will start with maybe going over the script once through, go over the technical stuff after we get any issues with the flow out of the way.”
He looked as though he were going through a mental list of things to cover, his gaze flickering momentarily to Hyunjin, as if his face would give him answers to the invisible question in his head.
“The people in charge of the props, have you started preparing the letters?” Chan stepped in, earning a shake of the head from the two girls sitting next to Hyunjin, making Changbin wave a hand dismissively in their direction.
“They could start on that after we confirm the script,” Changbin leaned over the table to grab his cup of coffee, proceeding to take a long sip from it.
“Alright, let’s start then.”
Changbin took the empty seat he was standing next to, pulling his laptop closer to him to pull up the script.
Throughout the reading, you tried to keep your comments to yourself, you really did. It just fascinated you how fearful the team was of Changbin (well, aside from Chan), the way everyone seemed to bite their tongues or withhold their comments caused a permanent frown to be etched on your face.
It didn’t make it any better that Minho seemed to have no problems with the script, not even when you’d occasionally leant over to whisper to him and ask if he found that part a little weird or a little abrupt. But you held your tongue for now, (and also because of the side glance Hyunjin would cast your way whenever you would let out a small sigh), you wanted to give Changbin the benefit of the doubt, figuring maybe if he read through his script again he’d realise how one-sided it was.
But thankfully, when you were reading out the lines where the two main characters had ended their date, and on a particularly high note for that matter, it seemed the opportunity to voice your concerns about the script was presented to you when Changbin had spoken up.
“Okay, since the next scene onwards will be where their relationship breaks down, any questions so far?” He asked, though his tone didn’t sound like he was really asking for feedback. But, hey, an opportunity as an opportunity, wasn’t it?
You cleared your throat a little too harshly, raising up your hand as you leaned against the table to be seen better, “uh, actually, me? I mean, I have some feedback actually.”
Changbin looked at you curiously, his gaze landing on you with slight surprise, as if he hadn’t expected it to be you of all people. There was a slight hesitancy evident in the way he paused before giving you a short nod, prompting you to go ahead.
You smiled, ignoring the way Hyunjin had sighed deeply a few seats away from you, dreading the chaos that could have come with people like you and Changbin bumping heads.
“Well, it’s not really specific to this scene. It’s kind of about the whole flow of the plot in general…” you fiddled with the corner of the page you were on, “but I was thinking it would be better to show more of Penny’s point of view? You know, because when I was reading it it just felt a little… weird for them to suddenly break up if everything seemed to be going fine.”
Changbin narrowed his eyes at you, looking back down at his computer with a simple dismissive shake of the head, “That’s not necessary, they’re going to break up anyway.”
The room had fallen silent, everybody seeming to have taken that as a ‘end of the conversation’ kind of line, already beginning to bring their attention to the next scene.
You frowned, unable to control your expression as you made your dismay obvious, casting a desperate look to Hyunjin who honestly looked as though he would pay you not to pursue this.
“But that’s not the point,” you spoke, getting Chan’s attention as he looked at you, silently urging you to continue, “you wanted to show their relationship, right? So, shouldn’t you show… both their parts in the relationship? Since it’s not like this is told in Soobin’s point of view.”
Changbin pursed his lips, “the point is,” he brought his cup of coffee to his lips, taking a small sip before continuing, “their relationship was superficial so it doesn’t matter.”
You mirrored his expression. The way it sounded was that he was just trying to convince himself that it didn’t matter.
Your frown deepened, quick to respond to him.
“That’s the thing, if you’re so insistent on them breaking up, why don’t you just make their relationship lead up to that? The way they’re interacting up to this scene makes viewers think they’re just going to end up together,” you tried to reason, hoping Changbin would understand where you were coming from.
Minho took that opportunity to excuse himself to the bathroom, and as you gave the rest of the film club members a once-over, you hated the way they were all looking at you as if you were cussing Changbin out instead of just giving him constructive feedback, or just voicing your thoughts for that matter.
“Well, not everyone gets a happy ending, I guess.”
He was practically avoiding your message at this point, making you grow more frustrated.
“Okay, look, what’s your intention behind making this film?” you asked, watching carefully as Changbin huffed, looking fairly amused at your insistence, which only served to irk you more.
“Simple,” he shrugged, “to show people like you that not everything that seems so perfect ends up perfect in the end.”
Your lips parted, scoffing, resisting the urge to get up from your seat as you heard Minho re-enter the room.
“People like me?” you echoed spitefully, “okay, fine, whatever. But as you said, if that’s the point of your discourse, shouldn’t your message be to tell people that they can work through things like this instead of just giving up and leaving like Penny did?”
Changbin was annoyed now. To him, you seemed too idealistic to understand his reasoning behind the story. He wondered why it had to be you that was telling him this, you were the only one that was trying to find problems with his story, that he’d based on his own life for that matter.
“Well what if she did, huh? What if Penny did just up and leave with no warning?”
You rolled your eyes, hearing Chan struggle to stifle his laugh, your exchange with Changbin being just about the most excitement he had in the whole school year.
You resisted the urge to roll your eyes, “which is why I'm saying that your job as a storyteller is to shed some light on the reason behind that. Then your story wouldn’t be about showing how things don’t turn out the way they seem, it would just be telling you, but not showing you. You could just ask literally anybody to hurt Minho—”
“Soobin,” you heard Minho correct from beside you, making you huff, scrunching your eyes shut tightly before opening them harshly.
“—Yes, Soobin’s character, and it would be the same? The story wouldn’t show me anything other than the fact that it was Soobin’s fault he ended up that way. He didn’t question anything that happened, he just let it happen to him,” you sighed again, clenching your jaw, “Penny isn’t anything other than some 2-dimensional plot device designed as an excuse for Soobin to sulk about how cruel love is.”
Changbin scrunched his nose up, his brows knitting in annoyance as he stared at you, a silence falling again in the room. Changbin was about to interject when Chan had decided that would be a good time to step in.
“C’mon guys, let’s… calm down a little. We’re talking about penpals here, not the king’s lover betraying him.”
You cast Chan a questioning look at his example, making him shrug, continuing, “we’re running a little overtime anyway, we can just continue discussing this another time.”
Just like that, the rest of the film club members seemed eager to leave, either rushing for their next class or just not wanting to be in the same environment as an irritable Changbin.
Chan directed his gaze towards you as you were getting up from your seat, slinging your bag over your shoulder.
“I’m sure Changbin will keep your points in mind, don’t worry,” he reassured you just as Changbin chimed in with a ‘no, I won’t’ behind him, leaving the room promptly afterwards, leaving you free to let out the frustrated groan you had been withholding.
“Thanks, Chan. Sorry I kind of made you guys overrun your time,” you sighed, watching Hyunjin making his way to you with wide eyes.
Chan shook his head, holding his laptop securely in one arm as he let out a burst of giggles.
“No, don’t apologize! I should be thanking you, I didn’t think about your point until you mentioned it just now,” he murmured, “but again, sorry about Changbin. He’s just a little… protective of his work.”
Hyunjin let out a low whistle from next to you, “Extremely.”
You nodded, shrugging, “It’s alright, I get it.”
Chan flashed you a smile, his hand reaching out to give your shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “Thanks, again. See you around.”
Leaving the room with Hyunjin, you ignored the way he’d begun to chuckle to himself, “honestly, in this whole time i’ve been in the film club, i’ve never seen Changbin actually… argue with someone.”
You rolled your eyes, kicking at the stray pebble “well if he continues like this, you’re gonna be seeing a lot more of it.”
“You sure seemed like you were having fun, though, weren’t you?” Hyunjin was being sarcastic, knowing he was just doing this to dissuade you, his tone eliciting a scoff from you.
You shook your head.
“You know for a fact I wasn’t. But it wouldn’t sit right with me if I just kept my mouth shut like you and the rest of your film club goons,” you shot him a pointed glare.
Hyunjin pressed his lips into a firm line, holding his hands up beside his head in surrender, prompting you to continue.
“If I want something done, I’m gonna ask for it. It’s as simple as that.”
===
To: my penpal Y/N
How are you?
Was your audition good? Thank you for the money. But $50 is a lot of money so I don’t think I should spend everything, my mom says I need to save money. Thank you for telling me what I should do, but in the end I didn’t buy another scooter. I did this because we were learning about needs vs wants in school and I think the scooter is a want. My teacher says this means I don’t really need it. But needs are things like colour pencils and pens and paper so I can write letters to send you. Maybe your mom tells you you cannot buy so many stickers because the stickers are a want and not a need.
Anyway, I think I can just let my sister take my scooter. Maybe I will just get another scooter for myself when I am older and I have more money.
I hope I will be hearing from you soon,
Binnie.
As you said before, you weren’t perfect, but you surely did your best. But days like this you wondered if people like Changbin even tried.
After your interaction with said stubborn being during your meeting with the film club had put you in a bad mood, you were currently seated with Jisung in a booth at a popular burger outlet outside school, thankfully having managed to get a place in the midst of the anxious afternoon crowd. And even more thankful that you could eat your lunch in peace where you were very much away from Changbin.
“What did you say to him, again?” Jisung hadn’t bothered trying to hold in his laughter as he was almost shouting over the noise of the crowd, making you huff as you bit into your burger.
“I said it’s funny that he was talking so much shit about the main couple when he’s dedicating his entire movie to them,” you drawled, your annoyance returning as you recounted the spat you had with him during the small meeting you had with the film club just before lunch.
Jisung’s shoulders shook as he laughed, fumbling with his drink as his eyes shut tightly, giggles leaving him and seeming as though they would never end, “and that’s what you said word for word?”
You nodded, reaching over to press the lid of Jisung’s drink down firmer before he could spill it all over himself.
“I know you’re friends with him but I really don’t know how you work with this guy, he’s as stubborn as stubborn goes,” you huffed, taking another bite into your burger as Jisung’s laughter had died down, though his smile had only lingered.
“You’re worse,” he snickered, earning a glare from you.
Jisung remained unaffected, “Look, he’s honestly fine once you get to know him,” he tried to reason, sounding as though he were trying to convince a child to make friends, “I mean, we’re all still kind of wary around him when he’s in a mood but honestly, if not for the way you guys met, I’m pretty sure you two would get along well. He seems like he’s your type.”
Your eyes widened, scandalised at Jisung’s implication.
“The only thing he has in common with my exes is being annoying, okay?” you rushed to push away the curiosity of what Changbin would be like as a boyfriend. Curse Jisung and his stupid implication.
“And plus,” you continued, hearing the doorbell chime for what sounded like the thousandth time to signal yet another entry into the diner that was now overflowing with people asking for take-out, “it’s not like he’s been very nice to me since I got involved with his stupid short film.”
Jisung sighed, his gaze momentarily distracted by something behind you, making you wave your hand in front of his face to keep his attention. He’d glanced back at you, an almost dazed look in his eyes before he’d given you a small smile, taking a bite out of his burger and not waiting to finish chewing before he answered you.
“I honestly think that he just needs a little more persuasion. Like, take this for example, something similar happened with him and Chan when they were composing something in the past, and trust me, if you don’t give up now, i’m pretty sure he’d agree to come to a compromise or something,” he gave you a shrug, his gaze returning to whatever was behind you (probably someone cute, you figured). You couldn’t say you blamed him; almost all your conversations revolved around you and Changbin’s squabbles these days.
You pursed your lips, narrowing your eyes at him, “you really think he’d be willing to rewrite his script?”
Your tone was skeptical, already imagining how Changbin would simply tell you to keep dreaming if you’d brought up the proposal to him.
At Jisung’s lack of response, you’d frowned slightly, seeing him turn back to you calmly as his smile widened, giving you yet another shrug.
“Maybe you can ask him yourself.”
If there was any feeling one would get just before something bad was about to happen, that was definitely what you were feeling now.
You didn’t dare to tear your gaze away from Jisung as you watched him turn his body, his hand coming up in a wave that had only turned into a hi-five, his behaviour only adequately described as boisterous as he welcomed the people you were hoping you wouldn’t have to see for another week until the next film club meeting.
Well, Chan was fine, you were simply referring to Changbin.
“Oh, hey, Y/N! Didn’t know you and Jisung were friends,” Chan gave you a sweet smile, gesturing between you and Jisung as he spoke.
Jisung chimed in with a nonchalant “Best friends, actually,” which had only made you shoot him a glare.
“Might have to re-evaluate that,” you muttered, turning back to Chan and Changbin to give them as warm a smile as you could muster.
“Are you guys eating here too?” you asked.
You were oblivious to the way Changbin’s gaze flickered from your face to the food in your hand, and then back to Jisung, looking perfectly unaffected as he joked with Jisung about something you didn’t quite catch.
“Well, we wanted to, but, you know, with the crowd and all we probably won’t be able to get a seat,” Chan’s gaze was pitiful, to say the least, making Jisung raise his eyebrows, and that sinking feeling within you had only intensified as his next sentence left his lips.
Jisung had barely glanced at you as he held onto Changbin’s hand.
“Well, our booth’s actually meant to seat four people, so you guys could squeeze in if you want,” he offered.
Changbin quirked his eyebrow, skepticism written all over his features, though mostly directed towards you, “you guys really won’t mind?”
You glared at your burger, scrunching your nose up as you avoided Changbin’s pointed gaze.
Jisung scoffed, giving Changbin a loud smack on the arm, “of course we won’t, right Y/N?”
He turned to you, giving you a smile you could only describe to be devious (and fairly amused).
“Yeah,” your voice took a pitch higher unintentionally, “go ahead,” you murmured, scooting into the booth to make space for them.
You took another bite from your burger, watching out of the corner of your eye as Changbin took a seat next to Jisung, Chan excusing himself to retrieve both their orders.
“Funny that you showed up, actually. Y/N and I were just talking about your short film,” Jisung spoke, earning a pointed glare for you, as if daring him to continue (and you should’ve known that wasn’t going to faze him at all).
“Oh, were you?” Changbin drawled, his eyebrows raised and a slight smile playing at his lips, “I’m sure Y/N had a lot to say about that.”
As you were about to speak, Jisung had interjected with a little giggle, “she did.”
Changbin didn’t seem to take Jisung’s comment as an answer, simply keeping his gaze fixed on you, prompting you to produce an answer of your own. You ignored the knowing look Jisung gave you.
You sighed, “maybe I wouldn’t, if someone just took my suggestions.”
Changbin had let out a small huff at that, leaning back in his seat with his arms folded over his chest as Chan returned to the table with his and Changbin’s food, casting curious glances between the three of you seated at the table.
“Hope you guys didn’t fight while I was gone,” he joked, making you sigh, and you missed the pointed look he cast Changbin’s way when the boy had scoffed, “what were you guys talking about before I came?”
You shrugged.
“We were talking about the short film,” you told him, “kind of.”
Chan had perked up at that, turning to you as he handed Changbin his food, “oh yeah, I wanted to ask if you had more feedback about the scenes.”
You nodded, “I do, actually.”
Changbin’s gaze lifted from his burger to look at you as he sighed, “what is it now?”
You huffed, “It’s not that bad. I was just wondering if the content of the letters were gonna be read out during the scene? ‘Cause if it is, then maybe we could kind of make it a little more relevant to their personalities or something.”
“Will that be hard? What do kids even talk about in their letters?” Jisung laughed.
Changbin’s lips parted slightly before pressing them into a firm line.
“Well, they’ll be like 9 when they’re exchanging letters, I suppose, so I guess they’d at least know how to have a conversation… ” He sounded almost hesitant, making you wonder why he made talking about childhood penpals seem like such a complex thing.
You thought about your own penpal, Binnie. You were about that age when you were exchanging letters with him too, figuring you could give some insight on that until Jisung had intercepted.
“At that age all I did was talk about hot wheels, to be honest. Much less talk to girls,” he snorted, making you scoff, using your shoe to nudge his leg under the table.
Chan, who had been silently thinking, had straightened up abruptly.
“Wait,” Chan’s eyebrows lowered, frowning slightly as his lower lip jut out in a slight pout. He directed his attention to Changbin, pointing his index finger towards him, “didn’t you used to have a penpal?”
You had to stop yourself from making your shock too obvious, your eyes widening as your gaze became nothing but accusatory. How badly did his penpal experience go for him to be so cynical about it now?
Whatever it was, the newfound information made you curious as to exactly how much of the story he’d changed, more importantly, how much he’d retained.
“You?” you couldn’t help yourself from blurting, though Changbin remained unamused.
“Yeah, I did,” he bypassed your incredulous stare, answering Chan simply.
Jisung hummed, bringing one hand up to fiddle with his ear piercing, not having expected Changbin’s response.
“Oh, well, what was it like, then?”
Changbin shrugged, resting one of his forearms on the table to support himself, his other hand reaching down to pick up a fry, “was nice. We would exchange letters every week. Talked about a lot of things, sent each other pictures, you know, all that stuff.”
“Do you still keep in contact with them?” Chan asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, not having heard much from Changbin about this penpal in the entire duration of their friendship.
Changbin shook his head, “nope,” he popped the p, picking up his cup to swirl it around noisily, the ice rumbling as it got tossed around in the paper cup, proceeding to take a sip from it as the rest of you looked on curiously at him.
“Well, why not?” you dared to ask, a million different possible reasons running through your mind.
Maybe they did something to piss Changbin off, or maybe they got into a big fight (which also made you wonder how heated fights could get over snail mail), or maybe one of their parents disapproved of the other. The possibilities were endless as you anticipated just why 8 year old Changbin would’ve cut ties with his penpal. And maybe, you were enjoying the dramatic aspect of it a little more than you should’ve been.
But something about the way he replied felt restrained. Maybe you were reading into it too much, but he almost sounded evasive. But, of course, you chose to ignore (suppress) it for now, watching intently as Changbin had once again shrugged, an air of nonchalance to his gestures as he met your gaze.
“Just… grew out of it, I guess.”
You huffed, memories of your own penpal making his response sting.
You don’t think you ever ‘grew out’ of talking to binnie. You remembered how frustrated you were when you’d stopped hearing from him after he moved, and every letter you’d sent to his new address had only been returned back to you. Maybe he grew out of it, but you wouldn’t have left it like that if you had a choice.
You rolled your eyes at his response, something in your response seeming to have irked Changbin.
“What?” he snapped, making you hesitate just the slightest bit, deciding to bite your tongue and shake your head.
“Nothing.”
Chan let out a huff of laughter through his nose next to you, shaking his head at you goodnaturedly.
“Forgive us, you always seem like you have something more to say,” Chan spoke, apparent ‘damage control’ for Changbin’s abrasiveness.
“Wait, so, you’re really not gonna have a happy ending?” Jisung frowned.
“Well, Changbin and I were talking about it after the meeting that day, we figured since we have time we could afford to change the script a little,” he hummed, turning to you, “you know, since it could be a chance to kind of send a more hopeful message like you were talking about.”
Your eyes widened, your hand almost reaching out to touch Chan’s arm but realising you were still holding your burger, “really? You’re open to changing it?”
Changbin’s gaze flickered momentarily to you, observing your posture, noticing how open and comfortable you seemed with Chan, the sight alone enough to make him scoff. Call him a cynic, but he couldn’t tell if this was you acting or not just to get your way.
“There could be another meeting for you to discuss and work on the script together, but yeah, we’re alright with changing it.”
You turned to Changbin, a hint of distrust in your stare, making him huff again, putting down his drink on the table with a little too much force.
“He said it, not me,” he told you, pressing his lips firmly into a tight line, “you wanna change my script so badly? Fine. But your ideas better be worth changing it for.”
Jisung scrunched up his nose as you turned back to Chan, not wishing to look at Changbin’s face any longer, leaning over to whisper to Changbin, “you two don’t like each other very much, do you?”
If he was caught off guard by Jisung’s statement, he didn’t show it.
Changbin shrugged, picking his drink back up, “they started it.”
At the sound of his accusation, your eyes narrowed, turning to glare at Changbin, thankful for Jisung nudging you under the table before you could retaliate with a comment of your own. Chan simply casting you an amused look, his eyebrows raised in a silent question of what you were about to do.
You shook your head.
Whatever, you pushed your annoyance away in your head, as long as Chan was there during the rewrite meeting, you’d hopefully still be able to maintain your sanity.
Or at least, that was the hope that you were holding on to until that night when you’d gotten a text from Chan.
Chan
11:17pm - hey, i gave changbin your number if you don't mind... you know, since you guys have to discuss to rewrite the script and all -
You’d almost sat up from your bed in shock, frowning against the harsh light coming from your phone and the contents of the text, the latter obviously making you more disgruntled.
11:17pm - won’t you be discussing with us?? Why not just make a group chat??? -
Your heart was pumping with anxiousness as you awaited his reply, something about the sound of the clock ticking putting you in an even more anxious state, your heart almost sinking as texts from him and Changbin had come in at the same time.
You looked at Chan’s first.
Chan
11:18pm - oh i didn’t tell you? All script writing is done by Changbin. I’m just in charge of the other elements like props and directing and whatnot -
You shut your eyes, suddenly wishing you could travel back a few seconds back in time and not have checked your phone when Chan had texted you. Bringing your fingers across your screen reluctantly as you typed a reply to him.
11:18pm - ohhh hahaha right i forgot, thanks chan -
Now for the bigger menace at hand. You swiped over to Changbin’s message, your finger lingering on his chat as you decided to stop being petty and just open it.
seo changbin
11:18pm - just so you know, i’m doing this only because Chan asked me to. we can go over the changes at my house. is saturday okay with you? -
You pulled your notifications bar down. Tomorrow was Friday, and from what you knew you were pretty much free on Saturday. Fortunately or unfortunately for you.
You took another deep breath as you typed out your reply to him. For your own sanity, you tried to ignore the way he felt the need to clarify that he wasn’t doing it for your sake.
11:18pm - saturday’s fine. What time?-
Resisting the urge to go offline when you saw him come online, you felt as though you were in some sort of staring contest through your phone as you watched him type, his message coming in quickly.
seo changbin
11:18pm -1? We could order in and discuss -
You sighed, it wasn’t enough that he had to take away one peaceful lunch from you today, but yet another one on Saturday.
11:19pm -okay text me your address-
Another sigh left you when you read that the address he’d sent you was just a few blocks away from your apartment. Maybe he lived alone too; most of the apartments here were occupied by college students looking for affordable rent and shorter travel time.
seo changbin
11:19pm - don't be late -
You scoffed, shoving your phone back onto your bedside table as you slumped back against your pillow, burying your head into your pillow and kicking at your blanket that covered your feet uncomfortably.
Fine, if he wanted to be that way, that was fine by you. You would just do this for the sake of the short film. Yeah. That’s all it would be.
===
“Let’s make this quick and painless for the both of us,” you blurted the moment Changbin had opened his door to let you in, glad to see he was donning an outfit similar to yours (sweatpants and a t-shirt), your previous worries of being underdressed dissipating instantly.
He let out a sigh, his hand coming up to run it through his hair, his hair messy and sticking up at one place awkwardly, looking as though he’d slept on that side for too long.
“Hello to you too,” he grumbled, shutting the door behind you as he gestured to the living room.
You glanced around his rather plain apartment as he led you to the living room, his laptop resting on one of the cushions of the sofa, soft music verberating from the device.
“What food do you want?” he asked, earning a thoughtful frown from you as you set your things down on the floor next to the sofa, taking a seat on the other side of it.
“Fastest delivery would be if we order from that Chinese food place nearby, right?”
Changbin’s eyebrows quirked up in intrigue, “I was thinking of that place too,” he handed you his phone, letting you order what you wanted before handing it back to him.
It was otherwise silent between the both of you as you waited for the food to arrive, neither of you quite knowing how to break the silence. The tension slowly made you grow increasingly fidgety as time passed.
Changbin had sat down on the floor next to the coffee table, resting one hand on his soft rug as he pushed a stack of papers towards you, drawing your attention away from your soft copy of the script on your phone as you realised it was a hard copy of the script.
“Just use this, i’ve got a copy on my laptop,” he mumbled, making you nod, accepting it from him as you flipped to where you left off.
Changbin glanced at the clock, in disbelief that only 10 minutes had passed and yet he found himself feeling jittery at your silence. Turning his gaze towards you, he let out a small sigh.
He had expected you to say something by now, or let out some snarky comment about something he wrote. Your silence was unnerving him, it was almost as if he wanted you to say something, especially with the way you were scribbling notes beside the pages with a mechanical pencil he didn’t even recall seeing you take out.
“Which scene are you at?” he blurted, his anxiousness getting the better of him, making your head shoot up abruptly, surprised at his sudden outburst.
“Uh,” you glanced back down at the page, “I’m at the part where they find out they used to be penpals,” you told him.
“Okay,” Changbin murmured, thinking about where to go from there, momentarily distracted when he’d heard the doorbell ring. Pausing, he’d stepped out momentarily to retrieve your food, the rustling of bags getting louder as he neared the table.
Setting the food down on the table, surprising you when he’d pushed the food towards you, your surprise hadn’t gone unnoticed by Changbin.
“What?” he scoffed.
You shrugged, “nothing, just didn’t know you were capable of doing nice things,” you told him, a sarcastic lilt to your tone.
Changbin inhaled deeply, shooting you a patronizing smile as he broke his chopsticks, “anyway, I think we could start from there, since that’s kind of the turning point of their relationship.”
You nodded, pulling your food towards you as you began to eat.
“I was thinking,” you spoke, pausing to chew on your food, “this part has a lot of unanswered questions, like… I wouldn’t just let it go so easily if I found out someone was my penpal that I grew apart from. I felt like they should’ve had a bit more of a confrontation there.”
Changbin hummed, shocking you when he’d leant closer to you to look at the script, making you push it towards him, a small huff leaving him at your action.
“What questions do you think Penny would ask, then?” he asked you.
“I don’t know, maybe why they stopped talking in the first place?” there was a hint of sarcasm in your tone, making Changbin look at you over his mouthful of noodles.
“I told you already, Soobin grew out of it—”
You grimaced at his answer, your chopsticks halting before your mouth momentarily before you shovelled your noodles in with annoyance, “I don’t believe that.”
“I used to have a penpal, and I can guarantee you, the reason why we stopped talking wasn’t because we ‘grew out of it’,” you told him pointedly, having to stop yourself from growing too riled up about it, Changbin tensing up at your revelation.
Bringing his glass of water to his lips, he let his gaze wander around everything but you as he thought, curious as to what your penpal experience was like. Finally meeting your gaze, he almost sputtered over his water with how much he wasn’t paying attention to his actions, the only thing on his mind being to get his words out.
“You did?” It was pathetic, really, that that was all he’d come up with after such a long pause.
You nodded.
“Yeah, but it doesn’t matter, the story isn’t based on my penpal, it’s based on yours,” you attempted to draw the attention away from you, unsettling feelings of sourness building within you at the thought of how you left things.
“So, think. What would you be curious about?” you prompted him, seeing him purse his lips, a certain dazed look tinting his gaze.
Swallowing his mouthful of food, he looked at you as he thought. He would want to know if they were still passionate about acting, he would want to know how their family was doing, he would want to know if their personality had changed, if they were still the assertive ‘go after what you want’ character that had encouraged him so much. Or maybe, just how they are.
Changbin’s lips parted, shaking his head slowly, “... so many things,” he murmured.
An unexpected tension fell between the both of you, Changbin’s eyes meeting yours with a sort of unspeakable thoughtfulness, as if he was still thinking about your question.
You broke eye contact first, “write that, then. Who knows? Maybe they’re both as curious as the other.”
“You’re one of those glass half full people, aren’t you?” he huffed, making you click your tongue in annoyance.
“And what? You have no glass at all?” you retorted.
“Would you still be… curious too? Even If it didn’t end well?” he asked suddenly, a stupid question, Changbin thought, but still something he felt compelled to ask in the moment, as if he wanted the confirmation that you, someone with a penpal experience as well had shared the same sentiments as him.
You nodded, “of course I’d be. I could hate you and still be curious about you,” you shrugged.
“Me?” Changbin asked, making your eyes widen, the tension dissipating slightly as you shook your head vigorously, your hands coming up to wave at him dismissively.
“No no, not you. I meant-” you stopped yourself, glaring at him, “I just meant it as an example.”
And for what you were sure was the first time, Changbin had laughed, beginning to feel a bit more comfortable around you, his eyes forming narrow slits and the apples of his cheeks rounding slightly as he grinned, soft breathy giggles leaving him.
“Alright, I get it. It’s not a secret that you don’t like me.”
You huffed, not being able to help but feel the need to reassure him, “you’re not… that bad I guess. Jisung talks you up all the time.” you said, unsure why you felt the need to reassure him that you didn’t have a burning hatred for him, “you’re just stubborn as hell.”
He scoffed, “I could say the same about you.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him, reaching over to flip the page, “glad to know we’re on the same page, then.”
“Now that you said it,” Changbin began, moving on quickly from your bickering as he shoved his empty food packaging aside, “I do think Soobin would be curious about the things they talked about in their letters.”
You perked up at that, eyebrows raising, “That reminded me, I actually still have some of the letters from my penpal when we were younger, if you want I can loan them to you for some inspiration or something.”
Changbin nodded, flipping over to another page before pausing to type something on his computer, “yeah, actually that would be useful.”
You continued to look at the script for what had become hours, the both of you deciding it would be easier if you each assumed one of the character’s voices, speaking on behalf of the characters as you discussed. Coming up with a ‘what would soobin/penny do?’ process.
All the while during this discussion, Changbin had been scribbling down in his beaten up journal, the sides of the spine of the book peeling off when he’d set it down on the table, making you grimace.
“Do you think Pe—”
“Why don’t you just get a new journal? This one’s making such a mess,” you blurted out, frowning at the way the little brittle pieces of God knows what material covered his notebook had fallen onto the coffee table, making him tear his gaze away from what he was writing, looking at the mess on the coffee table you were gesturing at and letting out an amused huff.
“Oh, didn’t notice,” he smiled, “but that won’t be necessary, this journal’s been serving me fine.”
“It’s literally falling apart,” you pointed out.
“And you’re literally exaggerating.”
You scoffed.
“I mean, look at it, it’s such a hassle to use, since you have to keep cleaning up whenever you do so much as touch it,” you reasoned, seeing him shake his head.
“I don’t need a new journal, I’m perfectly fine using this one,” he told you, making you scrunch your nose up in distaste, Changbin looking at you with amusement heavily laden in his smile.
It seemed that there was something about the hours of bouncing off ideas and bickering that warmed the both of you up more, not feeling as wound up or hostile towards each other as you did a few hours ago, bonding over a shared want for the short film to be good.
“What?” he asked, leaning back against the sofa and resting his arm on one of the cushions, his other hand grasping his fingers as he awaited your response.
“You sound exactly like my mom,” you had a sour look on your face, continuing, “I bet you’re one of those needs versus wants people.” You huffed in amusement, shifting in your seat as you flipped through the scene you were about to discuss.
Changbin’s lips parted in shock, a breathy huff leaving him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?”
You shrugged, “You know, those people that decide on buying things through the concept of needing it or not.”
Changbin rolled his eyes, “yeah, like any other normal person.”
“It’s so boring! Ever heard of the concept of treating yourself?” you huffed, gesturing wildly. You were clearly very passionate about this.
Changbin shook his head, the smile lingering on his face, “I’m starting to understand why you’re Jisung’s friend. Sure, a treat once in a while is understandable, but i’d rather not waste my money on things I could do without.”
You huffed, a deep sigh leaving you, recalling a conversation you had with Binnie about his scooter.
“What’s up with boys and this need versus want thing? My penpal said the same thing even though he was only eight,” you mumbled, a small breath of laughter leaving your lips, leaving Changbin frowning at your statement.
Maybe other kids just talked about the same things he did with Y/N? He brushed the thought aside.
“He did?”
Changbin’s voice came out more hoarse than he’d intended, the intent in his stare making you falter momentarily, forgetting what you were doing just for a second.
Thankfully, you’d snapped out of whatever trance you were in, shaking your head dismissively, “nothing, it doesn’t matter.”
Changbin tilted his head at you, narrowing his eyes as he contemplated whether to pursue it or not, watching closely as you busied yourself with flipping pages just to look busy, even though the inside of your mind was spinning with an indescribable feeling that came with convincing yourself that the drift between you and your penpal was merely circumstantial.
You chewed on your lip, hating the way it felt as though your stomach was churning as you remembered the disappointment you felt when your letters had stopped getting sent through.
You were young, surely you shouldn’t blame yourself, you believed that. Your finger fiddled with the corner of the page, staring at Soobin’s dialogue.
‘Did our conversations even mean anything to you?’ the dialogue read, and you inhaled deeply as your head lifted to look at Changbin, your abrupt movement almost making him flinch in surprise.
“Why did you really stop talking to your penpal?” you sighed, curiosity getting the better of you. Though at this point you weren’t sure if it was curiosity or simply reassurance. Maybe even closure. All of which you needed to satisfy.
Changbin knew you weren’t going to accept his ‘grew out of it’ statement for an answer, deciding to be honest with you, you know, for the sake of the short film.
“I just… stopped hearing from them,” he began, heaving a sigh of his own as he shifted in his seat, picking at the imaginary dust on his sweatpants, “guess they had nothing to say.”
You couldn’t lie about it, you felt relieved. A part of you began to understand why he’d painted Penny’s character out to be like that, or furthermore why Soobin had seemed so affected by the revelation.
“Nothing to say…” you echoed, as if trying to wrap your head around his reasoning as well.
A small huff of amusement left him, though there was a hint of bitterness in his smile.
“I wouldn’t have minded, you know.”
He took his lower lip between his teeth, letting it go and you watched as the blood rushed back into his lips, looking redder than before.
Your eyebrows knit into a frown, “Wouldn’t have minded what?”
Changbin met your gaze, giving you a resigned shrug, “hearing it,” he continued, “nothing, everything.”
You could almost feel your heartbeat slowing down, the tense silence returning in the room and making you feel like you couldn’t breathe. Now that was some dialogue.
“Oh,” you broke the silence, your blank expression reading pure shock, your reaction catching Changbin off guard, “write that down, that’s such a Soobin thing to say.”
Changbin couldn’t do anything but laugh, shaking his head at you, “how opportunistic of you,” he teased, though he wrote it down nonetheless.
Maybe you being here was good, Changbin thought, it reminded him not to take himself too seriously sometimes.
===
To: Binnie
How are you?
I hope you are not still sad about your friends. I would tell you not to listen to them but i know that’s difficult sometimes because you can hear everything they say. But they were being very mean so they are not nice people. I don’t agree with what they said, because i think you are very nice and you have a nice smile. I don’t think you are scary. Sometimes my mom tells me i should smile more so people think i’m happy but I think you should just smile if you are happy. If you are sad then you can be sad. It is not a bad thing. I’m your friend because you’re nice to me and I like talking to you. If they’re going to be mean to you then they’re not your friends. If they do that to you again you can tell me their address and I will go and tell them myself!
Till next time,
Your penpal Y/N
You’d shown up on the filming set on the first day absolutely buzzing from head to toe and ready to go (though, when you told Jisung about how you felt he’d insisted it was because of the lack of substantial sleep and the cans of energy drink you’d both drank the night before while he was helping you prepare your lines), but it seemed that everyone on the set was more tense than ever.
You found Hyunjin huddled with a few of them next to the sound cart, deciding to approach them to ask where Changbin was, having bought a coffee for him along the way.
“Hey,” you called, Hyunjin jumping in shock as he turned, his hand over his heart as he winced at you.
“Why do you move so quietly!” he groaned, making you dismiss him with a wave.
“Did something happen? You guys look stressed,” you took a step towards them, possible reasons fluttering around in your mind but none seeming quite appropriate for the context you were in. Maybe the semester’s GPA results were out?
“Whatever, do you guys know where I can find Changbin?” The boy next to Hyunjin, a freshman by the name of Jeongin had sucked in a sharp breath at your question, making you grow even more confused.
“He’s… a little tense these days, so I’d suggest being a more careful around him,” Chan explained, earning nods of agreement from the film club members.
Your eyebrows raised, confusion showing in a slight pout on your lips. You didn’t remember him behaving out of the ordinary when you’d seen him the day before.
“Where’d he go?”
“He’s over there,” Chan pointed towards where the camera was set up and true enough, you saw Changbin seated at a bench there busying himself with his phone.
Nodding, you’d made your way over to Changbin, discomfort growing within you at the stares you were getting from the club members (some of which you didn’t even know the names of) as you made your way towards the blonde haired boy. It was a wonder why they all avoided him like the plague.
Changbin seemed to have sensed your presence, looking up from his phone and giving you a small wave as you reached the bench, sitting down next to him and holding out his cup of coffee.
Accepting it gratefully, he’d given you a nod.
“Thanks,” he glanced at your hands, “you didn’t get one for yourself?”
You let out a small burst of chuckles, “nope, figured it wasn’t the most logical thing to do since i’m already pretty alert from last night’s energy drinks.”
Changbin sucked in a sharp breath, clicking his tongue in teasing disapproval, “I figured as much, Jisung was way too hyper when I met him at the studio.”
Your expression was sheepish, “I’d say I was sorry but it was... important.”
Changbin huffed, “It’s alright, as long as you’re taking care of yourself.”
Before you could react to his statement, Changbin had acted as though he hadn’t said anything, an amused smile playing at his lips as he tore his gaze away from you, looking forward as he took a sip from his cup, “ready to film today?”
You nodded, regaining your bearings, trying not to think too much of his words.
“Pretty much, you?”
Changbin nodded, “yeah, even though we still have a little bit of the script left, I would say i’m pretty confident.”
You glanced behind Changbin, spotting Hyunjin looking at the both of you with sheer disbelief, making you roll your eyes, turning back to Changbin, angling your body on the bench so you could hug your knees to your chest, looking at him curiously.
“Are you feeling okay?”
He nodded, looking at you with confusion written in his features, clasping his hands around his coffee cup as he rested his hands on his lap, “yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”
Maybe it was just his resting bitch face.
“Smile,” you commanded, nodding your head when he’d looked even more confused.
You watched in amusement as Changbin had laughed, shaking his head before looking at you with an all too sarcastic smile, his hand coming up in a peace sign next to his cheek, a smile unknowingly making its way onto your face at the sight.
“Okay now, don’t smile,” you continued.
Changbin had let his smile fall, looking just the same as he did when you’d shown up, making you press your lips into a firm line, a slight knit in your brows as your eyes narrowed.
Turning his head, he straightened up.
“Cool, Minho’s here,” he said, getting up and holding a hand out to help you up.
“Thanks,” you muttered, not expecting him to turn around and give you a smile.
“Let’s go, Penny.”
It was strange to you that there was something that felt so familiar about his smile, it reminded you of something that made you feel nostalgic. You liked seeing him smile. Changbin had a nice smile.
You brushed the thought away, nodding as you took his hand, letting him help you out.
“What, so you guys don’t hate each other anymore?” Jisung groaned later on that same week when you’d told him about the exchange you had.
He lifted his head from where he lay on your bed, “God, with you guys it’s like everyday’s something different.”
You quirked an eyebrow at him in amusement, “well… that’s because it is, isn’t it?”
You spotted the box of letters from your childhood penpal hidden beneath a stack of novels you had yet to unpack, your eyes glistening with triumph as you reached into your storage closet, fishing it out with a grunt.
“Come to think of it, Changbin hasn’t said anything about you since that day you met him to rewrite the script,” he murmured thoughtfully.
Heaving a sigh as you got up from your squat, you closed your closet, “which day? We met up a few times for the script.”
Jisung perked up at that, sitting up slightly and supporting his weight with his elbows.
“You did? Why am I only finding out about this now?” he scoffed.
You rolled your eyes, walking over to your desk to set the box onto it, “I told you about it, you just forgot.”
Making your way over to the bed, you flopped down onto your belly next to Jisung, looking at him curiously as he frowned at you. His mention of Changbin had made you curious.
“He… really hasn’t said anything about me?” you dared to ask, regretting it almost immediately when Jisung had taken the opportunity to twist your words.
Jisung’s expression had changed to one that you were all too used to, how his eyes would give away that he was thinking of saying something to tease you, his lips curving into a slight smirk.
“Why? Do you want him to be talking about you?”
You wrinkled your nose, a small panicked scoff leaving you, “yeah, right. Don’t get too carried away there.”
Jisung prodded further, leaning closer to you as he drawled, “well, why not? I mean, you said it yourself, you guys are on pretty good terms now, aren’t you?”
You purse your lips. The film club had been nice enough to give you a month longer to work on the script, you and Changbin ending up getting carried away and doing the whole thing over. And of course, within that month, you interacted with Changbin in some way or another almost everyday.
It could be meetings at his or your apartment, or spontaneous phone calls when one of you thought of an idea and you’d felt inspired to discuss it (even if you were on your bed tucked into your sheets when it happened most of the time), sometimes it was even just simple texts checking up on each other and asking what the other thought about the updates.
Nonetheless, you’d grown used to Changbin’s presence, finding that after that meeting at his house, it was like it had softened the both of you up to each other, especially when you realised your perception of Changbin was all wrong and that really, he was as soft as softies go.
You gave Jisung a shrug, tugging the neckline of your shirt down, feeling as though the room had gotten hotter, “I mean, yeah, I guess. He doesn’t annoy me as much as he used to.”
Jisung let out a chuckle, the laugh bubbling out louder as he continued.
“You know if you tell me you like him now, I won’t make fun of you.”
“You’re lying.”
“So, you do like him?” His grin widened, making you sputter for a better response, figuring you’d dug your own grave with that one.
“Don’t stir shit,” you narrowed your eyes at him.
Your reaction had only tickled him even more, clutching his belly as he sighed, “I knew it. Remember? I told you he was your type!” his tone was triumphant, making you regret fuelling his suspicions.
“Yeah, I’m sure you’re very happy about that,” you huffed, turning away from him and burying your face in your soft sheets, your hand coming up next to your head to smooth over the fabric.
You felt Jisung’s hand on your arm, his expression grim.
“Wait, so am I really right? You like him?”
You shrugged his hand away, though he hadn’t budged, giving up soon after.
“I mean,” you enjoyed your last moment of peace before you decided to reply to him, “he’s cute, I won’t deny that. And he’s become a lot nicer to me… he’s fun to talk to? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little attracted to him.”
Jisung snickered, “that’s cute, but gross. I can’t believe you like Changbin.”
Trust him to only get that out of whatever you’d just told him.
You turned to give him a wide-eyed look of disbelief, “oh, please, you were the one that kept fluffing him up to me!”
Jisung had simply shrugged, unfazed by your outburst, a small sound of hesitation leaving him.
“I would say I did a minimal amount of fluffing. I just called it before the both of you realised.”
You grit your teeth, “fine, enjoy your moment. But one word about it to Changbin and you’re dead. Got it?”
Jisung’s eyes widened, his hand coming up to mimic zipping up his lips.
“Got it.”
===
“Cut!”
You turned to cast a desperate look to Chan, the said boy looking apologetic as he called for a stop again. You watched as he leant down for Changbin to murmur something in his ear, Chan nodding before making his way over to you and Minho.
“We’re thinking maybe you could try that scene again but maybe with just a little more… in the moment? Maybe try not to rush through it,” Chan suggested to Minho, making the said boy groan.
“Sorry, it’s my fault. It’s just- we’ve been filming for hours, if I wasn’t so scared of Changbin I would’ve—”
“I know,” Chan reassured Minho, giving the both of you a small smile, “hopefully we can get this scene done quickly and then we’ll all be free to go, hmm?”
You nodded, letting Chan make his way back to where the monitor was as you got back into position with Minho.
Changbin watched intently as you and Minho acted out the scene again, something about the way Minho was delivering his lines seeming so unaligned with the picture Changbin had in his head. Was it the lines that weren't doing it for him? Was it because Changbin couldn’t quite tap into the emotions of the character in this scene?
He wasn’t sure what exactly it would look or sound like to be in love, but whatever ‘Soobin’ was showing, sure wasn’t what Changbin wanted it to be.
After you’d finished the scene, the film club members had waited anxiously for Changbin’s greenlight on whether they were free to go, all of them anxiously looking on as Chan went to talk to a few of them at props.
You taken the liberty of making your way over to where Changbin was, seeing him intently monitoring the scene that you’d just shot, the reason behind why he’d made you and Minho run through the same scene 15 times starting to become clear to you.
“That’s not gonna help you make it better, you know?” you spoke, shoving your hands into your pocket and scrunching your eyes shut as you braced against the cool wind that was blowing your way, the trees rustling loudly as Changbin’s head shot up, the frown remaining on his face.
“What?” Changbin figured he came off as a little too annoyed, but he stayed unwavering nonetheless, wanting to know just what you thought you knew about him.
“You know, I watched an interview once, and this actor said something that was so true,” you began, taking a seat next to him, feeling his gaze on you before you continued, your gaze falling on the image of you and Minho on the monitor, “he said that playback makes scenes seem a lot more dissatisfactory.”
Changbin’s frown deepened, “I don’t get it, just spit it out.”
You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t help but smile, “I’m trying to give you advice here, okay? As I was saying, be in the moment. Not everything’s gonna turn out like how it is in your head.”
You inhaled deeply, a slight shiver running down your spine at how cold you felt, taking a hand out of your pocket to tap him on the arm.
“Now can you wrap it up and call it a day? The rest of them have been dying to go home but they’re too scared to tell you.”
Changbin hummed, “They are? Why?”
You nodded, seeing Changbin already making to stand up and call for the rest’s attention, with you taking the opportunity to lean over to him and mutter, “Dunno, maybe they just haven’t figured out what a softie you are yet.”
Changbin attempted to press his lips together firmly to contain his smile, though eventually giving up and letting the soft smile be shown on his face as he dismissed the club members, the rest of them already having started shifting their equipment back.
You’d decided to help them shift the equipment while Changbin talked to Chan about something, trying your best to ignore the way the weather seemed to be getting chillier as all the equipment had started feeling cold to the touch. Mental note to start wearing warmer clothes out after today.
“Thanks for convincing Changbin to free us,” Hyunjin sighed when you were coming down the stairs after locking the club room, making you huff.
“He’s not some dictator, you know. You guys could just ask him next time,” you reasoned.
Hyunjin scoffed, “I’d much rather keep my life, thank you very much.”
Rolling your eyes, you pulled out your phone as you thought whether to text Jisung if he’d wanted to meet for dinner.
“You’re so dramatic,” you told Hyunjin, “I told him and I got to keep my life.”
Hyunjin scoffed, “that’s cause he—”
He stopped himself abruptly, eyes widening for a split second before he shrugged, “that’s cause you fight with him all the time, it’s different.”
You saw a text come in.
Changbin
8:14pm - do u wanna go get dinner? I’m done talking to Chan -
“Speak of the devil,” you murmured, erasing your drafted text to Jisung and replying to Changbin to say that you would wait at the quad.
Changbin
8:14pm - i was thinking of eating some cold noodles -
You grimaced at the thought, Hyunjin pulling you out of your thoughts, “are you waiting for Changbin?”
You nodded, sensing his hesitancy to let you wait there alone, “you go ahead, I’ll be fine, he’s already on his way.”
Hyunjin frowned, turning to see Changbin from afar already making his way over, Changbin having spotted the both of you and given Hyunjin a wave.
Waving back, Hyunjin nodded, “alright, I’ll see you.”
Tugging your jacket tighter around yourself, you folded your arms, hoping Changbin would hurry up so you could finally go somewhere with heating.
Though once he’d met up with you, you were a little confused when he’d gone a completely different direction than you’d expected, leading you to a traditional restaurant that served mainly soups and broths instead.
Don’t get me wrong, you were thankful for the warmth of the restaurant, of course, but just a little confused about why he changed his mind.
You let him order for the both of you, looking curiously from where you were seated facing him, leaning back in the wooden chairs as Changbin ordered from the older lady running the shop.
“I thought you wanted to eat cold noodles?” you scanned the menu in search of the item, confusion increasing when you found nothing of the sort.
Changbin shook his head, “figured you might wanna eat something warmer,” he admitted, making your lips part in surprise.
“How’d you know?”
Changbin didn’t know how to explain that it was because he’d kept looking at you during shooting and he didn’t miss the way your hands would clench and unclench the fabric of your clothes, or how you’d fold your arms more and shake them out in between takes when you thought no one was looking.
“… just a wild guess.”
You brushed his comment aside, the both of you talking about your upcoming classes or complaining about readings that had yet to be read, the sheer boiling temperature of the stone pot making heat rush to your cheeks and spread through your body, thankful for Changbin’s wild guess.
Leaning back in your seat with your hands over your stomach, you sighed at how full you were feeling, already anticipating your food coma as you let yourself zone out staring at the label of Changbin’s bottle of soju.
“Are they really scared of me?”
You’d dragged yourself out of your daze (reluctantly), your lips pursing, “sorry, what did you say?”
Changbin averted his gaze, fiddling with his fingers under the table. Smoothing his thumb over the soft skin at his palm, his tongue poking at his canines before he looked back at you, meeting your gaze with a certain determination.
“The film club people,” he repeated, “are they really scared of me?”
You shrugged, “yeah, I guess. Like, they talked about it before… I guess it’s because you have that serious expression on a lot so they might take it the wrong way.”
Observing his expression, his lips had parted, a blank expression on his face, “I have a serious expression?”
You couldn’t help but laugh, tilting your head at him, “I think It’s just your resting face. They’re kind of wary of how they act around you during meetings, you know, which is why they had that kind of reaction when I first spoke up about the script.”
Changbin let his grip around his spoon relax, whatever rice he’d scooped into it dispersing into the soup.
“Then why aren’t you scared?”
You almost snorted with how immediate your laughter had bubbled out of you, a bout of chuckles leaving you as your shoulders shook lightly.
“Because,” you waved your spoon slightly, “there’s nothing to be scared of.”
Changbin’s blank expression had prompted you to continue.
“I have no problem with you being assertive about what you want,” you explained, “I mean, if it were my script, i’d probably be equally, if not more, assertive about how I want it. But that’s a good thing about you. You don’t just… shut up if something doesn’t sit right with you. That’s something I’ve always thought was really important.”
Call him crazy, but Changbin couldn’t adequately describe how your words had done more in spreading a giddy warmth in his chest than the food ever could.
He wasn’t always like this. If anything, he’d wanted to say that he’d pushed himself to be more assertive after countless conversations with his penpal about not being afraid to speak up for what you want.
Though he’d always been scared of whether he’d be doing a disservice to the people he worked with if he chose not to speak up, he was glad that you reminded him just why he started doing it in the first place.
Penny’s character in his head had started to look more and more like you. And he was glad.
“You wanna hear something crazy?” You blurted.
You didn’t know where you were going with this. It was a spur of the moment kind of thing, really. You just knew that saying what you said to him had triggered a sense of what you could only describe as love within you. If you knew anything about it.
“What?” he asked, the smile on his face making you stop in your tracks. How could he remind you so much of someone, yet seem so much like a mature, upgraded version of them at the same time?
You couldn’t possibly tell him that you were starting to be kind of glad that you didn’t meet Binnie, because you felt like you were looking at him right now. And childhood penpal or not, you were so much more smitten with the one sitting before you.
“Nothing,” you breathed, “nothing, sorry, forget I said anything.”
Your revelation reminded you that you’d brought your old letters from Binnie for Changbin to tap on for inspiration to write the last scene, shutting your mouth and turning to fish the box out of your bag.
“I just remembered, you asked for these right?” you pushed the box towards him, seeing him pick up the box gingerly (as though it were that brittle old notebook he uses), placing it into his bag.
“I’m assuming they’re the letters from your old penpal?”
You nodded, “but don’t laugh when you read them, okay? He was really nice to me.”
Changbin huffed, his tongue peeking out to wet his lips, “yeah, yeah, no promises.”
After you were done with your dinner (Changbin paying for it as a supposed ‘thank you’ for being patient during filming), you’d prepared yourself to fight against the cold night breeze as you stepped out of the restaurant before Changbin, not having expected to feel a warm weight being draped over your shoulders.
“I don’t know why you decided to come out without a coat when you know now’s usually when the weather gets colder,” he tutted his tongue, feigning disapproval, not giving you any time to be shocked at his gesture.
He stood in front of you, tugging the coat tighter around you as he met your gaze, giving you a tired smile.
“I’ll walk you back to your apartment.”
You bit down on your lip, your racing heart and panic making the best reply you could come up with to be a mere, “didn’t peg you to be so gentlemanly.”
To which Changbin shrugged, a small smirk playing at his lips.
“I can be pretty romantic if I want.”
You were gonna get whiplash at this rate.
That same night (or day, 3am was a fine line), you’d received an email from Changbin of the last scene for the film, reading through it and having to stop in between for breaths and water breaks because you had no idea Changbin was capable of encompassing such romantic sentiments in a scene.
Looking at what he wrote, you would never have thought he was the same person that kept arguing with you about happy endings going to shit.
Changbin had written the scene in a burst of inspiration, having felt an almost uncomfortably foreign giddiness within him after returning home from your dinner, feeling even more motivated when he’d watched the film footage they’d shot earlier that day (unconsciously rewinding more than once to watch you act) deciding to just go with whatever he was feeling and write down the scene he had in mind.
And if anyone was asking, no, he totally didn’t picture you as Penny and himself as Soobin the entire time while doing so.
By the time you were done, it was almost an hour later, the aftermath of reading his scene making you pick your phone up and send him a text.
4:02am - did something happen? What’s with the lovey dovey script? Did someone finally change their mind about Penny? -
Not long after, Changbin’s reply came in, feeling thankful that he’d only decided to open your box of letters, or more accurately his letters, after he was done with the scene, something about what he found putting him in an all too thoughtful mood.
Changbin
4:04am -let’s just say... i took your advice-
===
“What do you think, Changbin?” Chan’s voice had snapped Changbin out of his daze, the latter looking at Jisung with a shrug.
“I would say you’re just short changing yourself if you didn’t talk to her. I mean, you said you liked her, right? So what are you waiting for?” Changbin sounded almost impatient, his tone eliciting a grunt from Jisung.
“Yeah, you say it like you’re not the one hiding your hopeless crush on Y/N.”
Chan’s eyes widened, not having expected Jisung to say it so blatantly.
Changbin sputtered, looking at Chan for help only to be met with giggles.
“I’m sorry, dude, it was really quite easy to tell.”
Changbin wanted the cushioned booth to swallow him whole, scrunching his eyes tightly shut in a wince.
“Whatever, that’s not the point,” he waved Jisung off dismissively, “we’re talking about your love life here.”
Jisung pursed his lips, shaking his head, “it’s not fun anymore, I wanna talk about yours.”
Changbin glared at Jisung, “i’m not having this conversation with you.”
“Good, ‘cause you should be having it with Y/N.”
Chan raised an eyebrow at the younger boy, humming in suspicion.
“Why do you sound like you know things...”
Jisung shrugged, raising his hands to give a dramatic shrug, “Do I? I guess we’ll never find out since Changbin ‘isn’t gonna have this conversation with me’.”
Chan turned to Changbin, who currently looked as though he would rather die than be here right now, “actually, what are you waiting for?”
Changbin brought a hand up to massage his fingers on his temples, a resigned sigh leaving him.
“I don’t know, I’ll probably not do anything until the showcase. I still don’t know how exactly I wanna go about it.”
Jisung snickered, “you’ll be fine, seriously.”
“Yeah, whatever, I’ll just enjoy whatever time I have left to think about it till the showcase. Now back to your issue… ”
But obviously, Changbin didn’t use his 3 days of buffer time very well.
He was lucky the atmosphere of the showcase and the unexpected crowd of people had prolonged the time until he’d be in a situation where he’d feel compelled to talk to you about it. Whatever it was.
You hadn’t noticed, obviously, the way Changbin had been keeping himself busy talking to guests and teachers that had shown up, people from the media and publications club. You were too busy being whisked away by your own friends and a already slightly tipsy Minho who thought it was a good idea to pregame drinks before the afterparty later on.
It’d only been when things started calming down and people were actually watching the film that you’d been put in a position where you had no choice other than to think about the boy seated in front of you tapping his foot incessantly on the carpeted floor of the auditorium.
Once the show was over, you’d leant forward, about to congratulate him when you’d both been whisked up by one of the teachers-in-charge, pulling you together with Minho onto the stage to answer questions from the audience.
The questions were fairly simple, most of them from the media and publications club trying to get technical details for their article, allowing you to zone out from where you stood on the stage, letting Changbin smoothly answer all the questions they could possibly throw at him. It wasn’t like Minho was in any position to answer them, tipsy and zoned out of his mind.
It was only when you’d heard him fumbling around with his words that you looked up from the spot on the wall you were staring at, turning to look at Changbin with an embarrassing amount of concern on your features.
“I’m sorry can you repeat the question?” you’d spoken into the microphone, hearing someone that sounded almost identical to Jisung asking how he got inspiration from the story.
You looked at Changbin curiously, as if silently asking if he needed you to step in, only to have him look at you with a blank expression, his mouth opening and closing as he fumbled for an answer.
“Oh, well, I’m sure I can answer this on behalf of Changbin,” you began, “we’d worked on the script together, and it was inspired by a lot of things, like our experiences with pen pals as well as movies like ‘you’ve got mail’.”
Changbin’s shoulders slumped with relief, nodding towards you as a silent thanks, the moment cut short when you were once again whisked away into different crowds to take pictures or to carpool to the afterparty.
Though you were bored 10 minutes into the party, Minho having gotten drunk before you could even get past your second drink, you’d let Changbin have his fun. You figured it was a good thing that he was being recognized for his efforts, even if he didn’t look like he was enjoying the attention very much. He needed it, you supposed, to be forced to see how much people enjoyed the work he made.
But you didn’t stay to see it too long, adjourning to the porch of whoever’s house you were in to enjoy an environment away from the loud music and too many people you didn’t know.
“Already bored?”
You’d jumped at the sound of Changbin’s voice, his footsteps loud against the wooden porch as he took a seat next to you on the swing, holding out his bottle of soda to you, “do you want some?”
You shook your head, seeing him shrug, “suit yourself, then.” He took a long sip of his soda, sighing afterwards.
A tired smile on your face, you let out a deep sigh, “didn’t expect you to find me here so quickly.”
“How could I not?” he laughed, shaking his head, “In case you didn’t notice, I was suffocating in there, figured I deserve a break.”
“Good job, though, I’d say you handled everything well…” you started, your smile growing, “... though there is one thing… I didn’t think you were the type to struggle with public speaking.”
Changbin’s lips parted in shock, scoffing, “shut up, I don’t usually.”
“Sure, you don’t,” you teased, bringing your hands to your sides to support your weight, letting your legs lift off the ground as Changbin used his feet to move the swing gently.
You leant back in your seat, enjoying the silence you were able to get out here as compared to the chaos going on within the house, noticing how tense Changbin seemed, his posture anything but relaxed as he’d let out sigh after sigh, tapping his rings against the seat of the bench absently.
“Relax,” you chuckled, “it’s already over.”
Doing the opposite of relaxing, Changbin simply stopped moving the swing, angling his body to face you more as he fished in his blazer pocket for something, pulling out an envelope from his jacket, “I have uh… something for you.”
Holding it out for you to take, your gaze fell on the colourful envelope, the little strawberry stickers you remembered using your savings to buy as you frowned at the address written on the envelope in your old messy ‘princess handwriting’.
Your gaze darted from the envelope back to him, “how did you… how do you have this?”
“I have it,” he began, letting out yet another sigh, “because you sent it to me.”
If it could, your heart would’ve stopped in that exact moment.
“Read it,” he prompted when you’d stayed silent, your hands moving urgently to open the envelope, your heart feeling warm when you pulled the paper out, already being able to see the ‘To: Binnie’ written with your favourite scented marker.
To: Binnie
How are you?
I’m fine. I am writing this very late in the night because I finished my rehearsal for my school play in the evening and I just finished taking a bath. I have to be quick or my mom is gonna scold me for not sleeping yet. I wanted to tell you that you should sign up for the competition. Which is why I have to mail this to you A.S.A.P as possible because you said the sign up closes in a few days. I think that you should just try it out, even if you don’t do well. Because then at least you can say that you gave it a try and you had fun. I saw this on a tv show, and they said if you don’t try, you will never know if it will turn out well, because you didn’t try.
So I’m telling you to try!!!!! Just try your best and have fun. I think you will do well.
Till next time,
Your penpal Y/N.
“So this is me… trying… it. Whatever it is,” he sounded out of breath, almost, and your heart had begun to pick up speed at how it seemed as though this would be the time where he would confess his feelings to you (if Soobin and Penny were any guide to go by).
You should’ve known Changbin better by now, though.
“Thank you… for helping me with the film. You know, for giving me crap about it because I know that that wasn’t really what I felt. I was just… bitter, but for some reason, you giving me shit about it kind of reminded me why I liked being friends with my penpal- or, I guess, liked being friends with you, so much in the first place.” he was looking at you more confidently now, straightening up as he continued.
“It wasn’t because you gave me fake money to buy a scooter, or anything,” he laughed, “it was more because you were someone that was friends with me for who I was? You were kind, and you were honest.”
Changbin fiddled with the envelope in his hands as you tried your best to contain your smile.
“And you were especially supportive, you know, in your own argumentative way.”
You let out a huff of breathy laughter at that, your hand coming up to touch your necklace, finding something else to fiddle with to contain your anxiousness.
“I’m glad, though, that I didn’t know you were that Y/N,” he told you, “because I already grew to like this Y/N so much, that… finding out was just… a pleasant surprise.”
For the first time since you saw the letter, you’d spoken, a breathy, “me too,” leaving you, embarrassing you to no end.
“I’m glad it was you,” you murmured, averting your gaze, not having expected Changbin to have reached out a hand towards yours, hovering just momentarily before making the decisive action of grasping it gently.
“Me too.”
“So are you gonna explain why my letters—”
“Shh,” he shut his eyes, the smile on his face making you give in almost instantly, “don’t ruin it.”
===
“I didn’t know people even still sent letters these days,” Jisung snorted, sipping on his coffee that he’d just gone downstairs to buy, “here, you have one, but there's no name.”
You frowned, picking it up and finding the handwriting of your address awfully familiar, feeling as though you’d definitely seen it scribbled on a specific brittle old notebook before.
You flopped onto your bed, opening the letter as Jisung resumed playing whatever game he was busy with on your desktop computer.
Thankful for the distraction, you’d quickly unfolded it, scrunching your nose at his choice of pen name.
To: my penpal Y/N
This letter may just be over a decade overdue, but I wanted to firstly say I’m sorry for making you wait so long. That letter about my film competition, that was the last one I received from you, and one of my favourites. I figured it out, by the way, I gave you the wrong address. Phonics was a very tricky thing for my eight year old stubborn self that refused to cross check with my mom.
I figured sending you a letter was best, you know, since you know I'm not the very best at public speaking, or just speaking in general sometimes, I doubt I'd be able to say as eloquently what I wanted to say to you in this letter.
I wanted to give you a few updates. Firstly, I met someone in my film club. Well, technically I auditioned them for my short film so there’s no one to blame for the trouble they caused other than me. I didn’t like them that much at the beginning. I thought they were just trying to impose their stupid happily ever after beliefs on me, someone who thought I was a big bad cynical bitter man that didn’t believe in love stories.
As you probably guessed, they challenged me (a lot), and waiting to see them started to feel like the days where I would wait to hear my mom tell me that a letter came in for me, even better actually. They reminded me of the qualities in myself that I was always afraid of showing, and they reminded me what was so good about being unapologetic for who I was sometimes, because they accepted all of that, (but not without giving me an shit about it first, of course).
But i’m thankful, I’m thankful because I really grew to like them a lot. I liked how I could be comfortable being myself around her, and I liked how they would support me when I needed it, but also to correct me when I need to be corrected.
They were real, and I liked that, a lot.
So, the point of this was that if they ever happen to receive this, you know, (because I totally didn’t know your current address, obviously), I hope they know that I’ve grown to like them very much, to like the personality that i’ve come to know, and that i’m very excited to grow to know (and like) even more.
I’ll be seeing you,
Binnie.
#changbin#seo changbin#seo changbin au#changbin au#changbin fluff#skz changbin#skz au#skz#stray kids scenarios#stray kids#stray kids au#stray kids fluff#enemies-to-lovers!changbin#on track#stray kids imagines#skz imagines#I love changbin
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More Truths Than Dares
Summary: After "The Double Closet Incident" as Patton so calls it, Patton and Janus have a talk at their friends' sleepover.
Ship: Moceit (Patton x Janus)
Warnings: Smoking, claustrophobia mention, truth or dare. Tell me if I need to add anything else!
Note: This is a direct sequel to "In A Closet"! You can read this without reading that, but it'll probably be confusing!
{Previous}
{Masterlist} (I KNOW I NEED TO FIX IT BUT IM A PROCRASTINATOR FIGHT ME)
~~~~~
"Oh, I didn't know he was invited."
All Patton had done was walk in the door. He hadn't even said hi, or hugged Roman yet, he just walked in the door, and Janus was already on his back for just existing in his presence.
It was going to be a long night.
"Yes? He's my best friend, you know!" Roman defended as he brought Patton to sit on the couch with him and Logan.
"Wow, rude." Logan said.
Roman made a series of offended noises. "You're my boyfriend! So obviously Patton is my best friend!"
As the two quickly dissolved into playful banter, Patton stood to go put his overnight bag in Roman's room, hearing Janus whisper something to Remus and Virgil as he walked by.
Just ignore it, he thought, not really in the mood to argue today. Especially not after what Patton had dubbed ‘The Double Closet Incident’.
It was disastrous. Not only did Patton get locked in a closet with Janus, who has claustrophobia, he discovered that he may have a thing for men. Who knew?
Roman. Roman probably knew, especially after he had adopted Patton into their little friend group. And if being gay was a contest, Roman would be the judge.
But...it was normal to feel that way, right? It wasn't weird to feel embarrassed when someone got up in your personal space, was it? It wasn't abnormal to blush when someone said kind words to you, or odd to imagine yourself in different scenarios with someone you saw on a daily basis and they were-
Wait, what was he doing again?
Patton sighed as he set down his bag by Roman's bed. Those were thoughts for another day. He was supposed to be having fun at his best friend's sleepover, after all!
Patton put on a happy face and went back to the living room to join the others, finding that Roman and Remus were wrestling over something, Logan and Janus were debating, and Virgil was scrolling on his phone. Yep, it was going to be a long night.
---
After breaking up Roman and Remus' tussle, watching a couple of movies, and other various shenanigans, Remus decided to gather everyone up in his room to play truth or dare.
If Patton learned anything from watching the others' turns, it was to always choose truth when Remus picks you.
"Double D, Truth or Dare?" Remus asked excitedly, even though he already knew what Janus would say.
"Dare."
Remus grinned like a shark. "I dare you and Patton to stay in my closet for one hour together."
Both Janus and Patton went pale.
"I...lied. I meant truth." Janus quickly said, hoping that Remus would let up.
"Nope! Too late! Now, you and Patton have to get in there, have hate sex or something, and come out in an hour!"
"Uh- we can't!" Patton exclaimed suddenly, and then all eyes were on him.
"What, are you afraid of the dark or something?" Remus teased.
"Um- no- well, kinda- but no. I- uh- have claustrophobia."
Janus looked shocked, to say the least. Thankfully, everyone was still looking at Patton.
"Yeah, small spaces are absolute torture to be in, and I would prefer it if none of us did stuff that involves small spaces, because then I'll worry about them!" Patton rambled quickly, trying to get all attention on him.
Remus rolled his eyes. "Ugh, fine. But you guys still need to do something together."
Patton blushed a bit, and Janus sighed, looking relieved.
Eventually, Remus gave up, and just dared Janus to eat shaving cream.
The rest of the night went smoother, and Patton ended up telling a lot of weird secrets, but not very important ones.
Eventually, everyone was asleep in either Roman's room, or Remus' room. Everyone except Patton, who couldn't get his brain to turn off.
Patton reluctantly got out of his sleeping bag, and made his way to the front door, maybe some fresh air would clear his mind.
Turns out, he wasn't the only one who had that idea, because as he stepped outside, he found the one and only Janus on the porch, smoking a cigarette.
Before Patton could turn back around, Janus saw him, and nodded his head in acknowledgment. Well, no going back now.
Patton silently sat down in the wooden rocking chair next to where Janus was standing, staring off into space a little before speaking up.
"You-you know that smoking is bad for you, right?"
Janus' lips curled up in a small smile as he chuckled. "I'm aware. Don't worry your pretty head, I only do it when I'm stressed."
Patton decided to ignore the way being called pretty by Janus felt and focused on the other part of that statement. "What are you stressed about?"
Janus blew out a puff of smoke, and suddenly Patton was very distracted by his lips.
"You. You're...different than how I thought you'd be." Janus said solemnly, drawing in another breath.
"Is...is that a bad thing?" Patton asked quietly, looking down to the floor.
Janus glanced at Patton with an indecipherable look on his face. "To be honest? I don't know. On one hand, you're actually a decent person."
"Thank you?"
"And on the other," Janus continued. "I've treated you like s**t for no reason other than spite."
"...It's okay-"
"It's not." Janus interrupted.
They sat in silence for awhile, trying to figure out if the other still wanted them here or not.
"Why did you think I was a bad person?" Patton asked quietly.
Janus huffed. "It's complicated."
"I mean...we got all night."
"...true." Janus sighed. "I think it's because ‘nice’ people don't usually want anything to do with me, and when they do, it's usually for the wrong reasons." He explained. "So when you started talking to me...I don't know, you reminded me of all the wrong people."
Patton's heart broke. He reminded Janus of some probably terrible memories, and had probably been hurting him just by being around him! No wonder Janus frowned whenever Patton walked in a room!
"Janus, I'm so so sorry, I never knew-"
"What are you sorry for?"
"I- That I remind you of some terrible people in your life-"
"Patton," Janus rest a hand on Patton's shoulder, making him blush. "You don't have any control over who you remind me of. Please, don't apologize for that."
"Well- then you can't apologize for being reminded of those people either!" Patton argued.
"I didn't say that, I said I was sorry for treating you terribly!"
"Well, then, I guess you're forgiven!" Patton retorted.
Janus looked at him in shock, as if Patton had just said a bunch of profanities, before quickly looking back to stare off into the distance again. His cheeks were red, but Patton convinced himself that he was probably cold out here.
"You're...too forgiving." Janus mumbled softly, as if he was talking to himself.
"I think that's a good thing." Patton replied.
Janus huffed. "...Thank you." He said, looking at Patton with a small smile on his face. "For everything."
Patton blushed. "Y-Yeah. No problem."
Janus looked at him with a disagreeing look on his face, but let it go.
They settled into comfortable silence as Janus threw his cigarette away and Patton almost fell asleep.
The second time Patton had to force his head up, Janus huffed.
"You should probably get to sleep."
As if on cue, Patton yawned. "So should you." He said sleepily, rubbing his eyes.
Janus chuckled. "Fine. I'll go back to bed if you do."
"Okay, fine. You have a deal."
Janus had that stupid, self-satisfied smirk on his face that he usually wore that made Patton feel fuzzy inside.
"Good," He smirked. "See you in the morning."
"Yeah. See ya."
Janus ventured into the house, Patton following a few moments later.
Patton felt like he was getting into dangerous territory with Janus, but instead of feeling concerned, he felt more excited than ever.
~~~~~
Hi guys!!!! Its been awhile! So, this is an au that ive fallen in love with, so i wanna keep writing for it! If you guys have any name ideas, send em my way please!
General Taglist: @resident-crow-goth @macademmia @theantisocialghost @foreverfangirlalways @emo--nightmaree @moxy--sanders101 @quinnthequeer @gattonero17 @trashno0dles @tranquil-space-ninja @chaotic-murder-muffin @lugooble @sander-crossing @princess-rosie @sleepyysoot @hi-its-tutty @lookingforaplacetosleep @sarcasmremovedsoul @corkeecoderyt @drarrymalecsolangelo @private-snippers @girl-who-reads @emy-loves-you @reptilian-with-scallions
Ask to be added or removed!
Reblogs are appreciated!💖
#sanders sides#sanders sides fic#sanders sides fanfic#sanders sides fanfiction#moceit#patton sanders#ts patton#janus sanders#ts janus#ts roman#ts logan#ts virgil#ts remus#kawaiikat54 fic#fanfiction
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honesty and promise me, co-written with @darkmagyk [read on ao3]
“I’m in love,” Piper tells her when she shows up for another fitting. “Have you seen the new Beyonce video?”
“I heard the song.” Annabeth says, “isn’t that enough?”
“God, your whole play-acting thing is too far if you’re pretending to not like Beyonce.”
“I never said that.” Annabeth holds up her hands, “I like the song. But I did not see the video.”
“Well, when you see it, you’ll be in love too, but I will fight you.”
Piper could be scrappy in a fight. But Annabeth had been a champion fencer in high school.
“Kidding!” Piper says at her look. “There’s plenty of them to go around.” She didn’t even start to drape fabric over Annabeth, pushing her onto a muslin covered couch, and then pulling the video on the TV. She didn’t have one of those voice control devices. Because she was friends with Leo, and he was pretty firm on them being evil. “But I do call dibs on the main guy. The CALVES. The thighs. He’s unreal.”
“That good?” Piper went all ways, though as of late she gravitated towards women more often than not, so this was some high praise indeed.
“Unreal, I am telling you. Like, the hand of God came down and sculpted him personally out of marble.”
Already in her recent watch history, the thumbnail of the video greets them, the song title splashed across the TV screen, weaving between a very, very familiar set of legs.
Like, intimately familiar.
In something of detached horror, she watches the camera pan up, lovingly lingering on every inch of bare skin, following the muscles of his calves (which were unreal) to his knees then his thighs (which Annabeth had spent almost too much time between now), up his torso and his chest (which she knew made for an excellent pillow) to Percy’s face, set in a firm, hard stare.
And that fucking blue lipstick again.
She can’t even focus on Beyonce herself, too distracted by the way her hand traces the length of Percy’s outstretched thigh held in perfect arabesque as she gracefully drapes herself over him, crooning softly into his ear.
Annabeth should do that next time. That’s her spot, after all.
Tearing her eyes away from the screen even as Piper watches, enraptured, she slips out her phone, sending a quick, furious text.
annabeth: BEYONCE???????
A minute, then he responds.
percy: oh lol i didn’t realize that came out today 😁
percy: what’d you think?
annabeth: i think im going to kill you later
“Just look at him,” Piper says, pausing on Percy’s form, his arms outstretched, fingers placed delicately around a bar. “I mean--look at him!”
“Yeah,” she chuckles, maybe a little uneasy. “He’s alright I guess.”
Incredulous, Piper swivels her head. “Alright? Alright? Do you need your eyes checked?”
She just shrugs.
Why is she being so weird about this? It’s just Piper. She’s trained to find symmetry and beauty in bodies. They’ve happily shared crushes and fixations plenty of times before, so why is Annabeth being so weird about Percy? It’s not like they’re… you know… dating or anything. Just hooking up a bit.
Piper squints at her, then shrugs herself. “Fine. I don’t have time to get an answer out of you anyway. Come on.”
“Speaking of time,” Annabeth says, following Piper back into the kitchen studio, “I have to head out by 6:30.”
“Oh yeah?” Piper’s head is buried in her belt box, searching for the perfect accent. “What for?”
“I’ve got a show to catch.”
“Kind of early,” she says, pulling out something thin and silver. “Don’t you usually meet Thalia at the ass crack of midnight?”
“Well I kind of want to eat first.”
“Okay.” She cinches the belt around her waist, tight. “Then you’re going to have to help me with this skirt.”
***
Hands aching from hours of macrame, Annabeth walks up to the box office window at the Koch Theater at 7:46, having a handful of second thoughts.
Old, uppity white couples keep shooting her some particularly intense passive aggressive glares, some of them even venturing into actually aggressive territory, which usually wouldn’t even register on her very short list of things to care about, except that she is feeling woefully out of place. The lady in front of her has ten pounds of diamonds hanging off of each old, wrinkly ear, and the best Annabeth could do was fish out her least-ripped pair of jeans, pairing it with one of her nicer black shirts, the sleeves long enough to cover most of her tattoos. The macrame kept her longer than she had meant, so she didn’t have time to change before dinner, but fuck it, right?
She did also take out most of her face jewelry on the way. But she left the nose stud, obviously. And the tongue piercing. And the industrial, because Percy really likes those, so she doesn’t feel that bad about it. And he hadn’t even told her about this until after she had already given herself the half-undercut, so it’s not like she could do anything about that either.
“Can I help you?” At least this box office worker isn’t giving her the stink-eye.
“I’m here to pick up a ticket? Should be under ‘Jackson.’” He’d offered to leave it under her name, but this was safer. She doesn’t think her mom is a big ballet person, but she isn’t about to risk it, either.
She slides the ticket towards Annabeth beneath the glass plane. “Enjoy the show,” she says, with a quirk of her mouth that is surprisingly sincere for someone in customer service.
She’s pretty sure she’d enjoy the show more if she weren’t panicking thinking about getting dirt on their fancy carpets. Her boots are clean, of course, and she doesn’t really care, but she doesn’t want to, like, embarrass Percy or whatever. She’d asked him if she should dress up, but he’d assured her otherwise. “No one’s going to care, I promise,” he’d told her the night before, her lounging in his bed while he did some pushups. “And if anyone says something, let me know and we can kick their ass after the show together.”
“Great. Guess I don’t have to break out the Chanel, then.”
He’d paused, frowned, then huffed a laugh, shaking his head. Like the idea of Annabeth wearing Chanel was hilarious. Like what she’s wearing tonight really is the best that she can do.
Self-consciousness isn’t really a feeling that Annabeth has anymore. She’s spent so many years chafing against expectations, shucking them off when she inevitably failed to meet them, desperate for a place, a crowd where she could just be. In her scene, she doesn’t have anything to prove to anyone, and when Percy is out with her, he doesn’t need any convincing. He likes her. He likes her a lot, she thinks. He likes her enough to let himself be dragged out to every shitty dive bar and shittier rock show in New York City, laughing and cheering and holding her close the whole time. He likes her enough to cart her to his apartment at 4 AM, inevitably waking Nico up from his undead slumber, and leave her with nothing but a glass of water and a kiss on the forehead. And she likes him, too--a lot. Annabeth likes Percy enough to ditch her band t-shirts for a night and track mud on the carpet of the Koch Theater and willingly sit through a performance of fucking Swan goddamn Lake of all things, and it’s only a little scary how much she is willing to do for him after only a few months of fucking him. Because this really isn’t her scene, not anymore.
The weight of everyone’s stares bears down on her, threatening to crush her beneath them, a feeling she was so sure she’d left behind.
At least Percy had been thoughtful enough to get her a ticket out of the way in the back of one of the balcony sections. It’s a bit of a hike, but the audience members aren’t dressed quite as nicely as the ones downstairs, and she feels like she can breathe a little easier.
She pulls out her phone, checking her text messages on instinct. There’s a selfie from Percy in his stage makeup (and she’s not going to lie… he looks fucking pretty), with his standard accompanying three blue heart emojis. She can’t help it, her heart skips a beat and she can’t help but smile, even as she rolls her eyes. She’s just about to send him something appropriately sarcastic when another text notification slides in. It’s from her father.
Hi Annabeth… I was talking to a friend in Boston who said he's looking for a new
prospective in his architecture firm. Passed your information along.
Love you, dear
She swipes it away. Deletes the whole text conversation, for good measure.
Forget about him. This night is about Percy.
A few minutes later, so engrossed in Percy’s program bio (it’s about all she can focus on right now), she doesn’t even notice everyone around her leaning forward in breathless anticipation, until the warm, honey-like sound of the oboe draws her head up.
Roughly two minutes in, she’s really wishing she had attempted the synopsis. The extent of her knowledge of Swan Lake is a few half-remembered orchestra rehearsals in her teens and reading the Wikipedia article on that Natalie Portman movie a few months ago, and she definitely doesn’t recall there being anything about any Men-in-Tights looking motherfuckers prancing around. They’re sort of bobbing, back and forth, elegantly stepping from one side of the stage to another. Even from back here, she can see the delicate, precise placement of their hands, fingers curved just so, moving through space as though they aren’t bound by the laws of physics.
The fingers, she remembers. She could never get the hang of the fingers. Her old ballet teacher had given up on them after a week, and that had been the beginning of the end for that particular extracurricular.
Now her fingers tap on her jeans, impatient, far faster than the easy going music on stage. She’s just about to give in to the millennial instinct and pull out her phone, maybe play a round of sudoku, when the dancers motion as one to the back corner, and Percy comes stepping out. His hair is perfectly slicked back, gelled down, any hint of curl beaten into submission, and his smile is small, but white, gleaming against the tanned brown of his skin. She can’t help but smile back, like he could somehow see her. Finally, she thinks, relaxing a little more into her seat. Something to watch.
On his off days, her off days, any day when she would spent the night at his (always at his, never at hers) and wake up wrapped in his comforter and the smell of seawater, she would take the blanket with her and steal into his living room, curl up on his couch with her feet tucked under her legs, and watch him dance. She’s seen him drill these sequences over, and over, and over again, counting furious sequences of sixes and eights beneath his breath in duet with the thuds of his feet on his floor. Most times he would notice her and shoot her a grin, granting her permission to observe the artist at work. Sometimes, though, he would be so caught up in his body, the shifting of his feet and the music in his head, that it was like he couldn’t see her at all. Seemingly alone, he would dance, uninhibited, and she would be struck by a feeling that she usually reserves for specific monuments. Watching Percy dance in his apartment, in his brown tights and black tank top, lost in his own world, is like looking at pictures of the Gateway Arch, or the Hoover Dam, or the Parthenon.
She searches for that feeling now, leaning forward in her seat, eyes hungrily raving his form, but she just doesn’t see it. It’s… honestly, it’s a little boring. She won’t lie. He had warned her it would be something of a slow start, but this isn’t exactly an ADHD friendly medium, and she is losing her patience, just a bit. He’s so reserved, like he’s holding something close to his chest, impersonal as he takes the hands of the female dancers and lets them twirl around him.
Personally, Annabeth thinks that he looks kind of lost. Maybe he’s just nervous--it’s a big role and he’s a young guy. But he had seemed fine when he’d kissed her goodbye just after lunch.
The court jester is killing it though. Feeling just the slightest bit guilty, she lets her eyes drift over to him, deciding to watch him for a while instead.
On some level, she does appreciate the skill on display here. Percy can raise his back leg in a perfect ninety degree angle that would make her architecture professors sweat. The girls drift back and forth across the stage on the tips of their toes, weightless and ethereal. It’s mesmerizing, and she lets herself be mesmerized.
Time must slip away from her, because she blinks and all of a sudden the stage has gone from sunny yellow to cool blue, the crowds of dancers having vanished. He is alone on stage. Percy kneels in a deep lunge that makes her thighs ache just looking at him (and for… other reasons), his arms and his attention pointed to the wings, with a… Annabeth squints. When the hell did he get a crossbow?
But everything is swept to the sides when the White Swan tiptoes her way on stage, impossibly graceful, and all of a sudden, Annabeth gets it.
It feels a little cliche to say, but the way that woman moves on the floor really does remind her of those old, vintage jewelry boxes, suspended in animation, moved by some otherworldly force. It’s amazing. It’s a little terrifying. Sublime is the word that comes to mind as Annabeth watches her. Her arms move with fluidity, perfect curves, her fingers trailing behind her like wings.
And Percy is just as mesmerized as Annabeth is. As the audience is.
A few things hit her, in rapid succession. First, that Percy is, actually, a really good actor. His reticence before--he’d been playing a character. He’d been playing aloof and reserved and unmoored, because Percy--Siegfried--whatever--has been waiting his whole life for something to fulfill him, until this singular moment, the moment he laid eyes on this beautiful creature. Second, that she doesn’t need words to understand what’s going on. It’s all there, in every look and gesture and step, as the two characters circle each other, slowly but irrevocably falling in love. And third, that she recognizes the look on his face. It’s the look that Percy gives her when she has been talking for too long and he can’t get a word in edgewise, or when she screams along to the god awful underground bands, three beers in and missing every single fuck she’d ever had, or when she wakes up after him to Percy’s arms around her waist, her hair in his mouth and her head resting against his collarbone. She recognizes it, because that’s the look that Siegfried has for Odette. Because that’s the look that Percy has for Annabeth. Because he loves her.
And fourth, that that doesn’t make her as happy as she wishes it would.
There’s a cold pit in her stomach for the rest of the show, a turning screw that twists in deeper, minute by minute, with every turn of the dancers. She wastes the next hour trying to puzzle this out, not even pretending to watch the drama unfolding on stage, because it makes no goddamn sense. (Her situation, not the ballet--she managed to skim the synopsis during intermission, her foot tapping incessantly against the blessedly empty seat in front of her.) Things are great between them. It’s been a heady, intoxicating four months, full of bubbles and butterflies, sweet, soft mornings, and some really, really phenomenal sex. This should make her happy. This should put her over the fucking moon, and she cannot, for the life of her, figure out why it doesn’t.
The prima ballerina comes back out as the Black Swan, just as poised and precise as her counterpart, but she’s a great actress as well, because there is something undeniably different about her. Her arms move like rubber, like joints are just an afterthought, wrapping themselves around Percy’s neck and shoulders. She misdirects his attention, drawing his eyes to her wrists, her clavicle, the curve of a leg or the point of her toe. Seducing him. Tricking him.
Like Annabeth.
Because try as she might to run from it, Annabeth isn’t who she says she is. She wants so desperately to be this fuck-the-rules, fight-the-power, punk rock princess that she took every part of her that didn’t fit that image and tried to rip it out of her, bloody and struggling. Her trust fund, her two (two!) Harvard degrees, her enriched childhood and her bright and shining future; she took it all out back and shot it, and prayed that would be the end of it. She’s a phony, just like that goddamn Black Swan. Percy is in love with a phony.
Her sweet, wonderful, devastatingly kind and handsome Percy--she tricked him and made him fall in love with a mishmash of archetypes and aesthetics, distracting him with nose piercings and ripped t-shirts and ugly, deafening noise.
She’s not surprised that she’s crying when the curtain falls. She’d never known that Siegfried and Odette both died at the end.
When the cast reunites for curtain call, Percy is given a standing ovation, and Annabeth enthusiastically joins in, wiping the tears from her eyes, smearing her makeup.
She doesn’t wait for him at the stage door, but sits on the steps of the theater, plucking at her sleeves, aching for a drink and wishing she had had the presence of mind to wear something a little nicer. Percy finds her there almost an hour after the show ended. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
In the dark of night, illuminated only by streetlamps, she can’t read his face--but she can read exhaustion, in every part of his body. “I was waiting for you by the stage door.”
Something in her stomach goes cold. “I… wasn’t sure if I was allowed,” she offers, weakly.
He smiles, a light in the dark. “Of course you’re allowed,” he says, offering her a hand. “Shall we?”
She knows what will happen next. She’ll take his hand, and they’ll walk to the subway together, fingers intertwined. They’ll get on the 1 train headed north, and Percy will let her rest her head against him, tilting his head back against the window, eyes closed, almost asleep. The doorman will nod at them as they walk up to Nico’s apartment, barely batting an eye at his sweats and her ripped jeans, the two of them sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of impeccably dressed rich New Yorkers. Nico will wave at them distractedly from his office, gulping down his sixth coffee of the night, and they’ll tiptoe into his room, falling asleep in each other’s arms with little more than a good night kiss.
Which, of course, is exactly what does end up happening.
Almost.
Annabeth crawls on top of him in his bed, kissing him soft and senseless. She doesn’t know where he’s getting this energy from, but she is not complaining as he slips up inside of her, the two of them rocking each other gently to orgasm, their foreheads pressed together. Shuddering as he comes, he captures her mouth in another kiss, pouring every ounce of love he has in him into her.
A waste, honestly.
But as far as goodbye sex, it’s pretty damn great.
She needs to end this, before either of them get hurt. It’s the least of what he deserves, after all. To put yourself out there, to offer yourself up like that, that might be the bravest thing Annabeth’s ever heard of, and surely, Annabeth can find the courage to do what needs to be done.
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the other side part 2 [request]
Pairing: Negan x Reader
Pronouns: She/Her
Warnings: Language, Death
Summary: A new life seemed far too good to be true when Rick promised it to you and despite your doubts that’s exactly what you got or atleast you thought.
A/N: Requested by @jinxeee - I HOPE YOU LOVE IT! Im working on the last part right now and it should be out TOMORROW <3
Tags: @aubageddon91
Part One Here. | Next Chapter
It felt like you were in that box room for years. The only human interaction you would ever get was when someone passed one of those rancid sandwiches through. You never saw Negan though and at some point, you gave up hope and came to terms with the fact he just didn’t care or loved you the way you thought he did. You lost track of the days and nights a long time ago, the blood had peeled from your skin now but it seemed to stain, or it was shadows…. or your mind just playing tricks on you.
It had been a while since the door opened, no dog food sandwiches, no water. Nothing. You thought perhaps they were just going to let you die in there in the worst way possible. Your mind was left to fight the dehydration and hallucinations that came with it, the women you murdered seemed to jump out at you from each corner of the room when you’d least expect it… you were living your very own horror movie. Today you laid in the foetus position, trying to stop the ghosts from getting to you when you heard the door crack open, you wanted to look so badly but you were scared it was your brain playing some evil trick on you. You finally gained the courage to turn towards the light, wincing at the headache that attacked you almost immediately but it was a sign that this was real. Standing in the doorway was a tall slender man, a gun pointed in your direction, you held your hands up as you attempted to sit up straight. You watched as he lowered his gun and shouted for someone to help him. As you backed yourself into the corner, you watched as a much stockier man came running to his side, the skinner man made his way towards you but with caution.
“We’re gonna get you out of here” he spoke softly, holding out a hand for you to hold. “I'm Rick, Rick Grimes” a small gasp escaped your lips at the revelation of who was in front of you now. You had heard about him from the other saviours, you knew he was the leader for another community that was causing trouble for Negan but with your primary job at the sanctuary being to look after the sanctuary while the rest of the saviours were gone, you had never had to come face to face with the infamous Rick Grimes.
You took his hand as he led you out of the room, watching to see if you were hurt anywhere. When you passed the door frame, you couldn’t help but let your tears stream, finally being free from that hell. Your hand squeezing Rick’s a little as you try to compose yourself. You turned to him not daring to make any eye contact, biting down on your bottom lip. “Thank you” you whispered, not having enough energy to say it any louder. You felt someone hit your side softly, your eyes now panning to the object, the other man holding out a canteen for you which you hungrily took from him and downed the entire thing. You allowed a small moan to pass your lips as the dust in your throat regained its moisture. You heard the unnamed man telling you to take it easy but how could you, you had been without water for days, you passed him the empty canteen and wiped your bottom lip. “Thank you –“ finally now your voice was able to hit a higher octave.
“Daryl”
-
The men took you back to where they called home, Alexandria and it was beautiful, it was nothing like the sanctuary, it took you a few days to fully settle in – even longer to convince people that you weren’t a threat. Rick though, Rick didn’t need convincing, he’d keep you around him most of the time, teaching you new things like how to garden – that was your favourite job, He introduced you to his Daughter, Judith who seemed to take to you very well, constantly asking you to play with her whenever she saw you. He told you stories about his son Carl and the vision he had for Alexandria and you couldn’t help but tear up every time he mentioned he thought Carl would have loved you… like Judith does. The more you proved yourself the more people started to warm up to you, Michonne was the first to warm up to you, she couldn’t ignore how good you were with her daughter, nor could she ignore her daughter boasting about you at dinner every night. Daryl was a little harder to break, he recognised you as one of the saviours still but slowly he started to let his guard down around you – it was little things like bring you back your very own rabbit after a hunt or letting you watch him as he worked on his bike, it wasn’t much but you appreciated it.
You’d stay in Alexandria for the most part, taking care of the children while the rest went off to work on the fallen bridge. You avoid the cell where Negan was kept like it was the plague, never offering to take food in despite some of the residents begging you too. You were happy again, finally. Rick had shown you what it was like to be a part of a family and now you did everything you could to show your utmost respect for the Sheriff, he was like a brother you never had and you wouldn’t let Negan ruin that for you.
Today was a little different, you were asked to stay at Alexandria to watch Judith once again as the rest attempted to lure a horde of walkers away from the communities. You put Judith to bed but you couldn’t settle, you paced the living room floor awaiting Michonne or Rick to come through the door with good news but they never did. Instead you saw one of the residents knocking on the door, when you opened the door you couldn’t ignore the expression on his face, it was bad news. You looked past him to see a few familiar faces all seemingly upset, some had been crying. “What happened?” there was a crack in your voice, not really wanting an answer to your question and you didn’t get one. Instead you spotted Daryl just a little away from the crowd, deep in thought. You ran to him, hoping he could provide you with the answer. When you finally reached him, his eyes met with yours and instantly started to water, your chest started to heave thinking that the worst might have happened. Your eyes panned around the crowd taking in everyone that was there. You turned back to Daryl and swallowed the lump in your throat. “Where’s Rick?” your eyes started to tear up when he didn’t respond but you shook your head growing more impatient. “Where’s Rick!” you now screamed at the man, his tears now falling down his face as he shook his head, you had never seen Daryl like this before and that alone was enough to break you, you could feel your hands shaking uncontrollably as you attempted to make sense of the situation. “No- No…. No this is- No!” you cried, your legs finally buckling from under you, only to be caught by Daryl as you fell.
-
Since that day, you and Daryl became pretty much inseparable, constantly out checking new places to see if there was any sign of the man but after a couple of years had gone by you had run out of places to check. You set your sights on helping Michonne with RJ and Judith, hunting for them and watching them whenever she needed you too and much to your surprise, Daryl was right there with you. You had been sure that he would have continued to look for Rick without your help and well, he did but he was never gone for more than half a day. He swore it had nothing to do with you or the kids but you knew different, you could read him like a book now. He was your best friend, and you were his.
You walked around the gardens with Daryl checking in on everyone for the day before sending him on his way. He’d make a few jokes about how life seemed far too domesticated for his liking and you’d tease him a little, claiming he would make the perfect stay at home dad one day which would only make him push you ever so slightly. You spent most of your time there giggling away with Daryl pretty much ignoring everyone around you, you couldn’t help but feel lucky to be able to see such a soft side of the archer and you soaked up every opportunity you could. The laughter died down as Daryl spotted Negan being escorted out to the fields, trying to distract you a little so you didn’t notice. He had completely forgotten to warn you that Gabriel had decided to put Negan to work, you shot him a confused look as he stepped closer to you, blocking your view with his broad shoulders. “What are you doing?” you laughed slightly, slapping his shoulder but when he didn’t move your tone took a more serious turn. “Daryl?” The southerner sighed while rubbing the back of his neck, avoiding your eyes.
“They’re lettin’ that bastard work on the garden” he finally admitted, moving ever so slightly so you could see the scene unfold. You saw Negan bent down near the strawberries, pulling at weeds, you couldn’t bare the sight of him any longer and your eyes flickered away swallowing the lump in your throat you sent Daryl a faux smile, nodding your head.
“Good.” You whispered before linking your arm with his and continued to walk away. Your heart was racing after seeing him, you didn’t dare visit him while he was stuck in the cell, you were too scared. You almost forgot what he looked like after all these years but your heart couldn’t forget how easily he broke you.
As he picked away at weeds with his bare hands, Negan’s eyes started to wander around the garden, his heart seemed to stop when he laid eyes on you the way you wrapped yourself around Daryl’s arm laughing. He always imagined that the first time he’d see you after he locked you in that room, you’d be on your knee’s begging to be loved by him. He could feel the jealousy rise in his body, his face turning a slight red colour as he pulled a little too hard on one of the weeds. That night in his cell, all he could think about was you and how happy you looked with Daryl, his mind wandering to what you’d get up to with the archer when people weren’t watching which only angered him more. Despite all the anger, he was left more confused than anything as he sat on the edge of his bed, why did he only see you in this light now? Why did he care so much? Instead of dwelling, Negan tried to shut his eyes to fall asleep, hoping that the next day would treat him a little better.
It didn’t of course as he tended to the garden he was once again met with your laughter, his eyes narrowed at the sight of you touching Daryl’s arms before you both chased RJ around the garden. He had never seen you so happy before, so radiant it made him smile just for a moment until he saw Daryl touch you back, his hand rested tenderly on the small of your back. He couldn’t look away despite wanting to.
“If you’re not gonna work you can go back to your cell” Brandon spoke, pulling Negan's attention away from you.
“I wanna talk to Eugene” he grunted as he stood up from the flower bed.
“I don’t think you’re in any position to be making those requests” the man teased, Negan only shooting him a look before the boy nodded. “I’ll see what I can do”
#negan x reader#negan x y/n#negan x you#daryl dixon platonic#rick grimes platonic#the walking dead fanfiction#twd fanfiction#negan fanfiction
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Picture Frames and Ocean Waves
Heeheehee we’re back with some St. Tweedle angst, part 1. This is not related to the newest chapter, although there will be something coming at some point related to that, don’t you worry :) Anyway, here’s Saint looking back on the day Luke left for university.
song for this fic: Castaway - 5SOS (i did say ages ago it had rk vibes)
characters by @lumosinlove. tagging @im-oknutzy-trash and @wonder-womans-ex my st. tweedle partners in crime.
Saint stared unseeingly out at the ocean. The waves crashed and melted into each other, the same grey-blue as the sky. It was cold out, what passed for winter fast approaching as September came to a close, but Saint didn’t notice the chill in the air. Nor did he particularly care. Luke’s house loomed behind him, empty save for the housekeeper, busy somewhere in the heart of it. His mom was somewhere; Saint didn’t particularly care. He cared far more about where Luke was, hundreds of miles away at university.
That last summer had crept up on them fast. Saint had always known he’d never be able to leave the island, at least not for long. And he’d always known Luke would never be able to stay. He had just never imagined it hurting quite so much.
“Hey, Tweedle,” Saint sang, pulling himself easily through Luke’s open window. He left it open a lot these days.
Luke didn’t look up from his laptop sitting before him on his bed. “Hey.”
Saint peered over his shoulder. “What’re you working on?”
“Nothing,” he replied tersely. “‘M waiting.”
“For?” Saint prompted. It was like pulling teeth with him sometimes.
“Decisions come out today. This is my first choice school.” He gestured to the screen, and Saint squinted at it.
“Oh.” Saint felt something welling up in him, some foreign feeling that choked the air from his lungs and made his heart constrict painfully. He decidedly did not like it.
“Yeah. Should be out in-” Luke glanced at the clock- “two minutes.”
“So why are you looking now?”
Luke glanced away from the screen to glare at Saint, who just smirked at him.
“I hate it when you make sense,” he grumbled. Saint grinned, and leaned down to press a quick kiss to Luke’s lips.
“Bet I can distract you for the next, hmmm 90 seconds,” he murmured. Luke looked as though he wanted to protest, but Saint cocked an eyebrow, and he seemed to give in, tilting his chin up again to catch Saint’s lips once more.
Saint had always loved kissing Luke. He was warm, comforting. Familiar. Even that first time, pushed against the wall in this very room, wrists pinned under Luke’s strong grip. Or the second time, being pelted with wind and rain in the middle of the ocean, torn apart by the storm too soon. They’d kissed many times since then, more than kissed, and yet it never got old for Saint, never lost the magic and comfort Luke brought.
“Mmph, gotta check,” Luke muttered against his lips, pulling Saint from his thoughts. Saint rolled his eyes, Luke already turned away. He raised a hand to his lips, the taste of Luke still on his tongue.
He watched lazily as Luke refreshed the page, logging in once more with a frustrated groan. But his fingers froze on the keyboard as it loaded and a letter popped up on the screen.
“I got in,” he breathed. “I got in.” He turned to Saint with wild eyes, a smile alighting his face, and Saint didn’t know what to do with that.
He tried for a smile. “Well, of course you did Tweedle.”
In the next moment, Saint found himself in Luke’s arms, falling awkwardly back against the mattress. Luke held him close, and as his body shook, Saint realized Luke was laughing.
“Why are you laughing?” Saint asked, pulling back as best he could to see Luke’s face. His eyes held more joy than Saint had never seen in them.
“Cause I fucking got in! I’m going to fucking university, Saint!”
“It means you’re leaving.”
That was the thing, wasn’t it? Luke was always going to leave, the island, his family, Saint. For a while, Saint had had a chance at keeping him. With his father in prison, Saint knew there was no chance of him leaving. But then he was released. And then arrested once more. And Luke had given up.
And Saint had lost his chance.
He wanted Luke back. He wanted him home and safe and in his arms, not off at some fucking university with strangers and a new city and not him. Of course, Saint would rather be caught dead than admit that.
He’d said it anyway. And then Luke had left.
The sun had long since set when Luke said goodbye. Saint stood beside him on the beach, watching the calm waves lap at the shore. He held tightly to Luke’s hand.
“I don’t want you to go,” Saint had whispered, words getting washed away by the breeze. But Luke heard him. He always did.
“I know.”
Saint hugged wryly. “You’re still going though. Aren’t you?”
“I have to, Saint. I can’t go back now, it’s too late. I leave in the morning.”
Saint squeezed his eyes shut, fighting down the fear and anger and pain that threatened to well up and spill out, refusing to show all the terrible weakness he always kept hidden.
But Luke always seemed to know, as he reached out to cup Saint’s cheek, warm and comforting. Saint turned into his hand, but said nothing, refusing to look at him. He knew he’d only find pity and sorrow in those eyes, and that would only make him break.
“Saint. Look at me.” Those nimble fingers lifted his chin until their eyes met. Saint immediately wanted to look away. “Don’t be mad at me. Please.”
“Why not?”
“Because, Saint! Not all of us can just stay on this fucking island! I get that you have some twisted need to stay here, but I can't. Okay? I am not you. I have to get out. And this is my way.”
Saint stared at Luke with wide eyes. He rarely snapped. Last time had been almost a year ago, at James’ house, right before that cursed storm had hit.
“Fine.”
And he turned and walked away.
When Saint looked back on it, he wished he hadn't left. He wished he’d stayed, or turned around as Luke called after him.
He wished a lot of things.
With a sigh, he turned his back on the familiar sea and walked across the Deveaux’s perfectly manicured lawn towards the house. He crept around back, to the familiar window always lit with golden light. Luke had left it open.
Saint eased the window open and climbed inside, flipping on the lamp on Luke’s bedside table. The room filled with light, reminding Saint of late summer nights spent lying on Luke’s bed together, sometimes reading, sometimes kissing.
With a sigh, he turned to Luke’s desk, and the scant few items left there. A lamp, a few pens and pencils, various knick-knacks, a few books, some photos. Saint’s gaze stopped on them. The top one was a picture Luke had taken back in February. It was of him, flipping off the camera with a smirk.
He remembered that day. The two of them had fallen asleep on the beach that night, woken at dawn by the sunlight. Saint had sand in his hair, blown to the side by the wind. Luke had smiled at him for a long moment, sun lighting up his eyes, before pulling out his nearly-dead phone and snapping a picture. But not before Saint flipped him off.
He hadn’t known Luke printed it out, wasn’t actually sure how he’d done it. There were others, of the beach, of the lacrosse fields, even one of the two of them together. He didn’t know why he’d left them there either. Or maybe he did.
Saint felt… lonely, without Luke. He had no anchor anymore, left adrift at sea, abandoned. He couldn’t help but compare Luke to his mom, leaving him behind with barely a backward glance, never giving him a second thought. It hurt, in a way he hated himself for, hated his mom and Luke and everyone else for. Not that they’d truly done anything wrong. Or maybe they had. Saint didn’t know anymore.
The morning Luke left, Saint waited for him at the docks. Boat was the only way off the island, with the airstrip long out of commission. Saint had watched Luke and his mom pull up, her car looking shiny and new as it always did. Luke had climbed out with barely a second glance, tugging his backpack and suitcase out of the trunk. Saint guessed one didn’t need much at university.
Luke didn’t see him, but that was intentional. Saint didn’t want to be seen. The night before seemed so far away, so different from the morning. He didn’t know how they’d gotten here, avoiding each other, hating each other. Well. Pretending to hate each other. Saint could never truly hate him.
With a sinking feeling in his chest, Saint watched Luke climb onto the boat and disappear below deck. He felt like a cliché movie character, waving their lover off to war or some shit, but he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Even with Luke out of sight, that pull stayed, long after the boat pulled away and became a small dot on the horizon.
He had turned away angrily, pretending the tears in his eyes were from the wind or the pollen.
His heart had cracked, the day Luke left. A part of it sailing off to some other country, some other continent. These days Saint couldn’t quite decide if he wanted it back or not. He wanted Luke back, more than he truly cared to consider. But he had given Luke a part of himself knowing full well what it might mean, what it might lead to. And he’d done it anyway, choosing to trust him in what may just have been the stupidest move in his life.
One day, he’d come back. As Saint sank into Luke’s desk chair, the picture in his hands, he could only hope that was true.
#hehe pain#angst#st. tweedle#luke x saint#memories#saint remembering luke leaving#you're going to be the death of me#castaway#lumosinlove#relic keel
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Email for better love lives
I HAVE A NAME FOR THIS ONE YAAAAAY
im doing the read more thing, cuz u know scrolling ugh
@beyoncesdragon @aixy-hpsa (if anyone else wanna be tagged, let me know!!!)
This is a Yunho fic!
enjoy?
You met San at a compulsory public speaking class, where only you both had to attend for grades; it was filled with nerds who came voluntarily. And your bond begin with bored out glances at each other and loud sighs exchanged. And after that you guys hung out a lot, went to get coffee while doing homework, caught rides with each other, and waved whenever your paths crossed.
You met Yunho when San wanted you to meet his friends that he wouldn’t stop talking about, which made you slightly jealous; you yearned for a bond like that. You pushed that thought away, nothing good comes with jealousy. And while San and his friends would go about their own business, you would stick to the side-lines, not knowing what to say or do, even though they try their best to include you.
Yunho would be the one to keep you company, actively telling you about his day and attentively listen when you were asked about yours. He would also help you study and take you out to grab coffee when San would be too busy.
Anyone would be a fool to not fall for Yunho, with his smile that make his eyes crinkle at the corners, teeth on display, fluffy hair. Who wouldn’t fall for him, at least you could keep it inside, and no one had to know.
“Look at Yunho in this picture, he looks so handsome” San shows you the pictures from your quick break before the exams to the arcade. You take a glance, damn. You know that the moment you open your mouth, you’re screwed.
“Hmm”
“I don’t like it when you’re vague”
“Yes Yunho is cute” That’s all you plan on saying anyways, but you had to panic, because what if San thinks you’re not commenting on it too much and picks up that you’re crushing on Yunho? Ok, so you were overthinking.
“Too cute that it’s impossible he exists, I mean I see him every day but it’s not like I believe he’s real, there is a limit to being cute and all. I mean a recreation of a Greek god- I mean he should be a Greek God himself-”
You were cut short by San’s exploding laughter and as you voice your confusion to him, he still laughs until you violently shake him-
“Yah! Why are you laughing?”
He finally calms down enough to tell you-
“Just say you have a crush on him”
You open your mouth to deny-
“Admit it~” He says scrolling through his phone again.
You huff out, San was your best (read: only) friend, it wouldn’t hurt to tell him, so you nod the tiniest bit, and San grins from ear to ear.
“I mean, I didn’t see it coming, but when you started rambling off like that, it was obvious.”
You sigh.
“You tell this to anyone, I will personally murder you”
“Sure sure”
And after that, he thankfully let you change the topic.
.
.
.
Ever since then, whenever you’d meet Yunho, right after that, you’d whip out your phone to text San; something vague like-
“He’s wearing a red sweater”
“He dyed his hair blue!”
“Kill me”
And then you’d go home and text San about how a person; a human, cannot simply be so beautiful, and ramble off about him.
.
.
.
“But sir, I don’t have an email” You tell the professor, who has just asked to submit your assignment by mail.
“Don’t whine to me, and make one, is there a student your age without email? How do you have social media accounts?”
“I don’t have them” you reply
“Just make one, it’s extremely useful, and won’t take much of your time” He said, in a brushing off manner, guess he doesn’t believe you.
You nod and sigh as you leave to the next class. If you can’t whine to your professor, you can whine to Yunho. Who listens to the whole thing like the god damn angel he is, and as you open your phone to create one, he gently coaxes it out of your hand, asks you if it’s okay if he creates one for you instead and when you nod he turns his attention to the phone, while you’re just dumbly staring at your hand, where Yunho’s hand made contact with yours.
“Look, I sent my self a mail using yours, lets chat on mail for a while, you can get used to it” He says, you nod, and talk for a while, and then Yunho had to go. You wave at him while he leaves and you text San.
“What’s your mail?”
And when you finally get it, you send him a mail.
URGENT: JEONG YUNHO TOUCHED MY HAND, I REPEAT JEONG YUNHO TOUCHED MY HAND, MOM COME PICK ME UP PLEASE.
I MEAN HE WAS FABULOUS TODAY TO, IF IT WASN’T OBVIOUS; HIS HAIR WAS SO SOFT I CLIKED A PIC, LOOK:
[Image attached]
DO ME A FAVOUR, WHEN I DIE, SIT ON THE VERY SAME CHAIR HE’S SITTING ON, LOOK AT THE SAME DEIRECTION HE’S LOOKING AT AND BURY ME THERE, WHILE YOUR AT IT PRINT THIS ON MY GRAVESTONE.
WHEN I DIE PLEASE TELL HIM I LOVE HIM IN THE OTHER WAY.
BYEBYE
Later that day you get a reply from San saying that you’re too dramatic and an email from Yunho, which you didn’t think much about the time. He was the one who wanted to talk in mail, so you open it and-
And you realise you accidently send it to him too.
*cue freak out*
“So I must have send it to him too-” San blinks at you for a while and then-
Laughs at your face saying random things like
“This is gold”
“Nonononono”
“Never in my life- never”
At this point, you think he’s just spewing English vines that he’s been watching a bit too much to be considered healthy. And now you’re overcome with sadness, and as soon as he notices, he starts apologising and you bow you head, you think you look like a rag doll, and then cry. And san runs circles on you back, occasionally tucking strands of hair behind you ear and wait till you finish.
After a good while of snot- running type of crying, puffy eyes and ringing ears, you start to ramble, a habit that got you here in the first place.
“I don’t think I’m ready for rejection, I mean I was perfectly fine watching him from the side-lines. Heck I would watch him get married and I’d probably say nothing, like I’m not dying inside, proceed to get married, I’m crying tears of happiness-”
“What makes you so sure that he’s going to reject you?”
“I don’t know ok? But this isn’t a movie, he sees me as a friend and I had to go and catch feelings for him.”
San sighs.
“So, what’re you going to do now?”
.
.
.
It was hard, but you finally managed to blackmail San to help you avoid Yunho situations.
“And how long do you plan to do this?”
“Until my plane ticket and Visa to Alaska are approved and I change my name to Veronica Fall”
He looks at you, and the look speaks for itself, you’re being dramatic. You raise your arms in mock surrender and flop on top of the bed.
“Tomorrow everyone is hanging out, Yunho will be there, you coming?”
You pointedly grin at his cheeky expression, and he mimics the way you had surrendered just a few moments ago.
.
.
.
You stare at the response you had given to all the missed calls from Yunho.
I’m busy
Sorry, I was showering
I’m going to be busy for a while.
And you watch as the three dots move, and then stop and then move again, you feel as if your heartbeat moves along with those dots, stopping when it disappears, and then finally a response.
We need to talk, I gave you your time, and it’s not fair.
You feel like this is a new side of Yunho you haven’t seen, an assertive one. And you realise, just because you’re a coward, doesn’t mean that you can leave Yunho in the dark, even though you have fears of Yunho leaving you, getting awkward; deep down, you know, that Yunho, he’d never treat your feelings as something useless. And that makes you feel more in love.
And who knows unrequited love may not be so bad, maybe, just maybe; for Yunho it might not be so bad.
Fine
After sending the last text, you get up to clean the place, take out boxes littered about, and books and papers all lying about that you haven’t cared to put away. You do the dishes, and tie your hair into a pony, you’re distracting yourself from the real problem of facing him, for now you let yourself do it; later, you can scream at yourself.
And a right when you reach for the broomstick that you had tucked in deep behind the storage room; you hear a knock at your door.
You don’t think much about it, until you open the door. Low and behold; Yunho was standing at the doorway, a determined look on his face and he walks past you into the house.
You can’t help but think; geez, come on in. But you’re just salty.
And he opens his phone and shows it at your face, too close to read, practically in between your eyes, its touching your nose too. And you’re the dramatic one.
“Explain; explain this email, that was, I figure, supposed to be sent to San, explain why you’ve been avoiding me and my calls, and wherever I go right after I replied to this, I’m not going or letting you go until you do.”
And his voice cracks at the end bit, but you don’t notice, you’re in a bubble of thinking; thinking how to phrase this, just overthinking; maybe.
And moments which feel like hours pass, and you decide to do this the ripping off the band aid way. But it turned out more like the ramble it off way
“I like you? No, no that came out wrong… I love you? Yes, I’m pretty sure I love you, and don’t worry I know you’re not into me that way-”
And you don’t know what really happened; there was a hand on your face, right under your nose, and he was right in front of you.
“Sometimes, everything you say is nonsense.” He breathes, you open your mouth to respond, and he applies more pressure with his palm, to keep you quiet. You can’t help but think of the way your lips mouthed at his palm, not the time; not the time at all.
And then he continues.
“You don’t know how relieved I am to hear that, the moment I got that email, it took me a few minutes to understand, but when I did, I already pictured our five adopted cats, not gonna lie”
Your eyes widen in shock, did he just indirectly say he like you back, in the form of cats? This is why you fell for him in the first place.
“Did I creep you out? I must have creeped you out, forget I said that.”
And you laugh behind his palm, and he slowly removes it, moves it to your shoulder, drags it down the length of your arm, and interlocks it with your hand, a sweet smile on his face, the contagious one, so it’s only law that you smile back, teeth and all, since you can’t hold it back.
“We should go on a date.”
“That; we must.”
.
.
.
You were on one of your many dates, too wind up in each other to not notice the others who also wanted to hang out with you, you totally kept the news from San; you and Yunho are in this together, so he needs to also be comfortable with telling San, after a lot of thinking, you both settle on letting them find out, which may take years to get in their daft heads, but for now, you both have put fate in them.
.
.
.
San caught on way too quickly, the moment you enter the café and sit down, he says-
“So you’re not moving to Alaska? Or is your husband; Yunho moving with you?”
You blush and look down-
“Look, I can explain-”
And he breaks into a wide grin,
“I��m happy for ya”
.
.
.
You and Yunho were scrolling through many of the messages you have send to San; the ones fawning over Yunho, as much as he likes to get you flustered, he himself also gets flustered, so it’s a win-win situation.
“They haven’t caught on yet” you suddenly say.
It’s true, other than San none of them have caught on yet that you both have been dating, and that’s kind of weird, since it’s been almost a whole year.
But it’s not like you’re gonna sit them down and tell them. You and Yunho have a better plan.
Well you have a better plan.
“-and they walk in on us!”
“…..”
“Or not?”
“No”
You end up inviting them over for dinner, and as they take their first bites, you happily chirp in that you’re dating and Yunho adds that you’re moving in with, leaving everyone to choke on their food, except San, who had a cocky expression, which soon turned into a choking fit, who’s cocky now?
And Wooyoung looks up, and goes “Wait, you’re serious” and continues choking, this time on nothing.
.
.
.
#jung yunho x reader#alternate universe#pirate king#ateez#ateez au#ateez fics#ateez imagines#song mingi#jung wooyoung#choi san#choi jongho#park seonghwa#kim hongjoong#kang yeosang#jung yunho#its like wrong text fic but like wrong email fic#u know?#also like the reader seems a bit stalkerish#but i know yall filthy hoes inside out#anyways#uhm its kinds fluff and crack ig#so#crack#fluff#humor#drabbles#?#kpop drabbles#kpop fics#kpop au
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bee, love, i am so happy you had a good first day, you deserve calm and loving days, and you deserve people, deserve friends. i’m so happy for you.
as for apologising, i’m a terrible hypocrite every time i tell you not to worry about it, as i also apologise for anything, most notably existing, but i want you to know you don’t have to apologise to me, i understand the impulse but there’s no obligation or anything.
i’m glad you’re feeling better, and that it was just a little ick, well not glad that you were ick but glad it wasn’t too bad.
when it comes to being in welton, i fantasise a lot about these things, i think something especially about boarding schools is appealing to me. being away. that’s why my plans are new york or wales or if my friend is to be believed, quebec. sometimes though, those realities all feel more and more like tissue paper soaked in water, just waiting for a reason to fall apart
i read really quickly, it’s probably an issue, i read red white and royal blue in about an hour and fifteen minutes. neil and i. kindred spirits. today at lunch i watched the last thirty minutes of dead poets society, going back to rewatch “i was good, i was really good.” like ten times.
imposter syndrome is slowly getting the better of me.
i actually dressed up as leia for the midnight premiere of the force awakens. i’m that person. if i’d been with you in the cinema i would have cried too, you’re not alone there, i cried watching it on the floor.
i don’t deserve the nice words you give me, but i’m happy i make you feel comfy and cosy, and ironically enough, writing with a quill or fountain pen never ends in pristine and unsmudged ink, you can thank my being left handed for that. i think there’s something nice about writing with fancy pens, maybe that makes me seem pretentious as well. oh well.
as for dps tattoos, if i can ever get any tattoos, i want the neil crown, “i was good, i was really good.” somewhere, probably my wrist who knows, and some art that alludes to the first unmanned flying desk set. among others. the “and still we sleep” thought, and the outline of meeks and pitts both sound so lovely. so so lovely. i really hope you can get every tattoo you wish. although your bank account may hate me for saying so /j i want more piercings, mainly on my ears, i have something of an earring addiction, my favourite pair at the moment is probably my howl drop earrings that look like howls from howls moving castle.
honestly the outfit/hair colour distraction rule is dumb. it’s dumb. i just don’t get it. abuse of power ig. and yeah. we were like hugging and sorta just leaning on each other while talking and the administrator got angry, for whatever reason. the straight couple making out behind us, she didn’t seem to mind, however. it’s dumb, and im glad i don’t go there anymore.
im clearly very articulate today (sarcasm) my mind is ehhhhhhhhhhh and feels like a squirrel laying on its stomach.
maybe i will call you ramona flowers, bee /j did you know the original name for pac man was puck man… /j hiding in the back of the music room to avoid a maths test sounds like something i would do. i say this, knowing full well that i’m such a neil kinnie that i end up feeling like a teachers pet because i want to do well, both for myself and simply to avoid trouble with my mum.
a new york times best seller, huh? well if i ever publish anything i’ll dedicate it to you, both for being the only person who thought i could be a storyteller, but also for being a lovely person in general.
sometimes one day after another feels impossible. tomorrow feels impossible. but oh well. i think younger me would be disappointed, to some degree. on the other hand, i think they’d think it’s cool how much i know. if nothing else, they’d love that i have a typewriter. also, i’m sure young you would be proud of you, i am. i’m so proud of you.
i mean bee, i could teach you to shoot a bow /hj YOU CAN WIELD A SWORD????? here i was thinking you could not possibly get cooler or hotter omg i’m in love /hj
thank you for being proud of me, really bee, thank you. and thank you for being the only one. i’m hardly changing the world, but i guess if i don’t burn out and lose this fight, changing a few points of views in the process of growing wouldn’t be terrible.
p.s. it’s certainly something, i feel bad because i always pull away from people when i get numb and it’s so new that me doing that could be detrimental to everything, but me forcing myself not to could have a bad effect on me. who knows what’ll happen. i’m just gonna try and keep them happy no matter what.
p. p. s. bee you brought this upon yourself /lh
all my love, bee, and that pun was the out of this world part of that sentence. you’re so cute omg.
that quote is beautiful, and since i, once again, had to translate french and smile about it, i’ll leave you with this
no importa que nos separe la distancia, siempre habrá un mismo cielo que nos una.
p.p.p.s. thank you for saying what you do, and i know that i don’t owe you anything, but writing to you is easy, and makes me happy, when i manage to get myself to sit down and think about it. i’m sending you back hugs, gentle forehead kisses and mugs of tea, a soft blanket and a narnia movie marathon, where we argue about how i am definitely not better than susan pevensie, but you almost certainly might be.
i’m so happy uni is going well thus far, love. and i hope you love your classes. learning.
thank you for everything bee.
yours, always,
star✨
star sweetheart, thank you so so much, honestly. i can't tell you how much that means - i know you said not to apologise, but an apology seems in order for the lateness of this message- im terrible i know /lh thank you sm though.
i'm writing this whilst listening to one of my favourite albums (hypersonic missiles by sam fender, if you were curious) and curled up in bed, so this really adds to the comforting vibes.
i'm with you on that, boarding schools do have a certain something about them, don't they? i hope you can get to one or all of these places in your life - i can speak from experience wales is especially beautiful, but i can really see you in new york, too. wherever you end up star, i truly hope you're happy there.
an hour and fifteen mins?!!? the fastest i've read something was a clockwork orange in two and a half hours or so- you are so strong star, i've watched that film 20+ times and only watched the last half an hour maybe 4 /lh
that is SO CUTE oh my god- i will admit, for it chapter two i did channel my inner bill denbrough and wore some flannel (i luv that limbo <3)
you deserve all of these words and more, i promise you. you deserve something a lot less clumsy, but i offer you my best. left handed.. you rly are neil huh? /j
all of those ideas; absolutely lovely. the i was good tattoo breaks my heart in the best way possible. im hoping you get all of these tattoos, love. you'd suit them more than anyone, i'm sure. those earrings sound like the coolest fucking things ever? i did have a pair that had a little vodka bottle on, but i lost one in a club and haven't gotten round to replacing them. i definitely want more piercings too,, my conch is looking pretty bare as of late...
that is just. so disgusting? im so- god that makes me so angry i can't even explain. i think i should punch all homophobes straight in the mouth, actually /hj
love, i bet younger you would be so so proud of all you've achieved. from only what you've told me, i am. they'd be over the moon at how intellectual, kind and strong you are, i know it.
I CAN!!! ITS ONE OF MY MOST ESTEEMED TALENTS!!! lets make a deal. you teach me to shoot a bow, i teach you to wield a sword.. we're giving very narnia power couple if i may say.. /hj
i will always be proud of you star, for even the smallest of things you achieve. you're actively making a difference and a change, take bringing this positivity into my life for example. you've got this, star. i know you have.
ps; im wishing you all the best my love, seriously. take every day as it comes, and listen to your mind and wellbeing. im sending you so much love
pps; that quote. is so fucking cute. god im breaking down,, its so pretty and so DHJHFJKNFKKN yeah.
this is me, making you a cup of coffee and your favourite comfort meal, with a kiss on the top of the head. we will have this argument - as much as i love susan, she's no match for you <33
all of my love and happiness, star. you truly are one of a kind.
if i may, i'd like to leave you with an excerpt from a poem i saw earlier that i fell in love with;
"and you laugh. / loudly- / head tipping back. / and while your eyes / are on the ceiling, / i am mouthing / something too heavy even / for this steady night to shoulder. / "this is not a joke." i mouth. / "love me. love me." - letters from medea, salma deera
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Eve!!!! Need your thoughts about Taylor's album!!!! 💓💓💓💓💓💓
i love getting asked :”(((((( :”))))))) thank uuuuuuuu. let’s get to it. as usual, it’s an almost-first impression (normally i write my basic thoughts during the first listen – yeah i’d started doing it before getting this, you know, just in case – and then i review them w a second one, where i also select my favourite passage). sooo, let’s go
♡♡♡♡
the 1 — such sweet yet heartbreaking lyrics... very soft sound, if it sets the mood for the album im 100 per cent in! This one didn’t stick w me after one listen, but after the second i was like wooow! I love how she says waking up alone ughhh. 8
fave lyrics: persist and resist the temptation to ask you / if one thing had been different / would everything be different today?
cardigan — !!!!!!! the sound has that bittersweet something that gets under your skin and makes you nostalgic for something you can’t even pinpoint. it reminds me of the softest lana, especially in nfr (eg bartender!!). i’m in awe. instant obsession!!!! the ending takes you to another plane of existence – ‘cause i knew everything when i was young... i knew you’d miss me... you’d come back to me. also i’m crying. 10+
[it’s hard to choose bc the whole song reads like poetry but i’m especially obsessed w] giving me your weekends; once in twenty lifetimes; tried to change the ending / peter losing wendy; you drew stars around my scars
the last great american dynasty — storytelling on pointttt and sound, too! telling the story of someone she bought her house from?? the genius jumped out. she paints it like a romantic portrait, mad woman pacing on the shore, but then also gatsbian, the crazy parties, dali... and then takes it back to today w the key lime green dog, idk, iconic. i want to know this woman. this song truly takes you somewhere else, i thought it was a bit repetitive but then the bridge came in and the final vocals plus i had a marvelous time ruining everything, i have to stan! 8+
there goes the maddest woman this town has ever seen / she had a marvelous time ruining everything
exile — ok wow, bon iver’s voice is something else!!!! i was kind of ignorant when it came to him, i admit. his depth and rasp paired with how angelic she sounds... heavenly. sound-wise, but also thematically, this vaguely reminds me of tomorrow never came w lana and sean ono lennon. (one of my fave songs of all time maybe?). the way they enunciate i think i’ve seen this film before is literally a work of art all in itself, not to mention – well i’m mentioning it bc it’s worth it! – the you never gave a warning sign vs the way she goes over it w i gave so many signs. god this makes me feel sooooo sad and like, involved. it’s so beautiful. 10
you’re not my homeland anymore / so what am i defending now?
my tears ricochet — ok wtfffff??? everything about this speaks to my soul. the airy voice, the way she sets the scene... sunlit room, the funeral metaphor, you turned into your worst fears. i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace speaks to me more than anything, but just, everything about the lyrics. truly something else, cursing my name / wishing i stayed gives me chills everytime she says it. the beat that gets more insistent towards the end, with the bridge....... the high notes that then fade..... just wow. 10
and i can go anywhere i want / anywhere i want, just not home / and you can aim for my heart, go for blood / but you would still miss me in your bones / and i still talk to you when i’m screaming at the sky / and when you can’t sleep at night you hear my stolen lullabies
mirrorball — love the lyrics, maybe a bit less the sound? i mean i do love the sound, so far i’m loving how softly produced and coherent this album is, but this one i wouldn’t listen to on repeat and maybe there’s something a bit whiny that i don’t love. powerful meaning tho, and who’d use a mirrorball as a metaphor for feeling like you’re fragile, trying too hard to be a people-pleaser and no one sees the real you? 7
i’m still trying everything to keep you looking at me
seven — ah........ i started crying as soon as this one started, pleeease picture me in the trees, i hit my peak at seven....... like ok there’s no need to go that hard??? it’s so dreamy and like... naïf? in a perfect way. the way she says i still got love for you...... and everything else... she mentions folk songs... the purest love described in the purest way. i don’t think i have enough words to descrive the way this song moves me. like i want to listen to it again and again, to be able to feel like that again, but also i’m almost scared to listen bc it touches me too deeply. i still will tho hehe. 10+ (also just realised this is track 7 ok makes sense but my mind is blown. 100)
[this is literally deeper than a shakespeare sonnet so everything literally is my fave but, having to choose] and i’ve been meaning to tell you / i think your house is haunted / your dad is always mad and that must be why / and i think you should come live with me / and we can be pirates / then you won’t have to cry / or hide in the closet / and just like a folk song / our love will be passed on
august — i love the contrast between the lighthearted, happy singing and guitars and the sad lyrics. the story it tells is so simple and yet there’s so much poetry in that... plus it reminds me of fearless or even speak now?? which are like. the taylor that gets to my heart, tbh. the bridge and the outro made the song for me. 8,5
for me, it was enough / to live for the hope of it all / canceled plans just in case you’d call
this is me trying — oh god... lyrically this song is so raw and honest, it gives me chills! i do have to say, i don’t love how she says i just wanted to know (like metrically?? idk, im weird) but these are really just small comments on amazing songs, bc i feel like all i’m saying is wow this is great, lyrics and sound, but it truly is a complete and consistent work of art, easily listened to top to bottom each time. 8-
they told me all of my cages were mental / so got wasted like all my potential / and my words shoot to kill when i’m mad / i have a lot of regrets about that
illicit affairs — ok this goes without saying but i love storyteller taylor, it’s the taylor i grew up loving and singing to in my room. the thing about most of these songs, this one included, is that they probably grow on you after a few listens, bc they’re not made to be catchy, the production and backgrounds are always very soft and some i love more than others. this one musically maybe isn’t my fave but the narration is on point, and the bridge?? the fuckkkk. plus it has one of mt favourite themes ever which is so rarely spoken about, which is the fact that language you only speak w a particular someone you love, makes you miss them even more when they’re gone. or well not exactly this but i can’t put it into words, she did tho. 8+
you taught me a secret language i can’t speak with anyone else / and you know damn well / for you, i would ruin myself / a million little times
invisible string — the color theme!!! the guitar strumming!!! and the idea of an invisible tie w someone special... i do think she outdid herself w this album. again, not my fave soundwise, maybe slightly whiny when she goes meEeeEee? but, lyrically adorable and moving. 7,5
one single thread of gold / tied me to you
mad woman — maam...... this is iconic shit........ how could she say stuff like this w such a dreamy, breathy voice. musically i get huuuge lana’a nfr vibes again (which i mean. goals) but i also adore that lyrically it’s so taylor, no one would say this shit the way she does. adore how she sings to wrap your news around and bonus for women like hunting witches too, i do love me a nod to the fact that some women are so deeply filled w machism that they’re basically men in disguise. 8,5
every time you call me crazy, i get more crazy / what about that? / and when you say i seem angry, i get more angry [isn’t this just womanhood condensed in a few lines]
epiphany — aw! it sounds like a lullaby, maybe it’s slightly ‘boring’ for my taste? meaning i get distracted which is surely a shame bc the words seem beautiful, but it’s so soft i just drift off? but reading the lyrics – for focus hehe – i’m moved. 7+
only twenty minutes to sleep / but you dream of some epiphany / just one single glimpse of relief / to make some sense of what you’ve seen
betty — okay byeeeeeeeeee. this is taylor at her finest! countryyyyyyyy, storytelling, lesbian jdjdfk no yeah I know I knowww, romance went sour. gut wrenching and beautiful, this feels like... watching a sad teen movie but w a sepia filter, idk. i dreamt of you all summer long oh my......... it’s like og taylor from her iconic first couple of albums came back but w all her baggage and growth and experience and better than ever. also why does taylor sing so wel about being in love w a woman????? well. 10+
betty, right now is the last time / i can dream about what happens when / you see my face again
peace — ..........yes yes yes. the high notes, the honesty, the syncopated parts where she says so much so quick and yet it still hits you. it’s not even a short song but it ends too soon, it goes by like that..... a poem. omg it just hit me this has flo vibes! especially from high as hope, for example grace or south london forever?? i mean... taylor doing alt folk country pop...... queen. give you my wild, give you a child?? ok ok. 10
all these people think love’s for show / but i would die for you in secret
hoax — weeeell the lana inspo jumped out w that piano!!!!! and like. mood. and lyrics...... this reminds me of wuthering heights or of lana’s tormented love stories (shades of blue.....). a powerful closer. poetry. 9
i am ash from your fire
♡♡♡♡
okkkkk this was a flattering review, very well deserved imo since the review is mine gjgjhkhk i agree w myself. thank you again and as i always say, feel free to come back w your comments! and have a great dayyyyy! much love
#taylor swift#folklore#also bonus points for the title#fave ever from her#10#should i tag my reviews#(i think this has now become the tag)
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Find you
Pairing: Park Jinyoung x Reader x Im Jaebeom
Genre: fluff
Word Count: 3,1 k
LIST
Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]
_____________________________
POV Jinyoung
"Run to the library quickly. You've got three seconds!" he hissed into the tube and passed out. He hid behind the book row, looking out the side of the window.
He went to the library to give the book away. Turning to the exit, girl in a red sweater catch his attention, who sitting on a table near the window. He didn't immediately believe his eyes. But it was definitely you! It was their chance with Jaebeom to meet you. So he's acting like he's in a spy movie right now. He got amused because he was acting like a teenager. A minute later, Jaebeom appeared in the doorway, breathing heavily. He ran to the door and grabbed Jaebeom for jacket dragged to the place where he was hiding before.
"What a jerk? What are you doing? Why such urgency?" Jaebeom wanted to keep talking, but Jinyoung covered his mouth with his hand.
"Shut up already!" whispered Jinyoung
He pointed with his finger on the window where you was sitting. Jaebeom turned his head and froze when he saw you. He almost laughed with Jaebeom's reaction. You really act on them just as much. He turned his eyes to you. You sat and read the book. You were wearing reading glasses, and your fingers were playing with strands of your hair. How can someone look so depraved just by reading a book in a library. He rested his forehead in Jaebeom's shoulder. How can he handle it?
"She definitely loves red," Jaebeom said, looking at you.
"Was she also in red when you first saw her? When I met her she was wearing a red dress." he replied
"When I met her, she was wearing a red suit, " said Jaebeom
"We have to approach her," he said, though he lacked the courage to do so.
"Yes, come on," Jaebeom replied. But a few minutes passed, and none of them budged. They looked at each other and giggled. They were arguing over who should go first, turning their heads, they saw that your place was empty. They ran out into the middle of the hall looking around.
"Damn, it's all your fault" Jinyoung slammed Jaebeom on the shoulder.
They ran out into the hallway. "There" Jinyoung pointed to the end of the corridor where you turned the corner. They ran there. Turning the corner, Jaebeom abruptly stopped. Jinyoung crashed into Jaebeom, causing them to fall.
"Why the hell did you stop so abruptly?" Jinyoung said shoving Jaebeom. But Jaebeom did not react at all, looking at the wall. He turned his head and sat down again on the floor, losing his balance. You stood near the wall with your arms folded on your chest, and you watched them on top of your glasses. You squatted, looking at them.
"So that's who was staring at me in the library. I think I've seen you before." "And you too" you pointed your finger at Jaebeom. "Too many coincidences to be an accident," you said before getting up.
"We liked your coffee shop. So we decided to meet each other," said Jaebeom, and got to his feet, giving Jinyoung's hand.
"And you go by promo of 1+1. Meet one, the other as a gift?" you chuckled.
"Yes, and you are against it? I think the offer is very profitable." replied Jinyoung.
"I'm sure you won't regret it" added Jaebeom
"Sorry, but we have to go, miss" the guy in the black suit appeared next to you.
"Yes, let's go," you told to the guy. "It was nice to meet them, 1+1" you looked at them from head to toe, before turning and going to the exit.
"I think we just screwed up," he laughed as he continued to look at you. He looked out the window watching you get in the car before getting out of sight. He turned and saw that Jaebeom was still looking out the window.
"But she remembered us, even though we came separately," Jaebeom turned his eyes to him. "So there's a chance."
"You don't think we've been playing in 'good guys' for too long..." he said, moving away from the window, "Come on, Mark is waiting for us."
They went to the restaurant where Mark was waiting for them. They said hello and made an order.
"Mark, remember that coffee shop you told me to go to?" asked Jaebeom.
"Yes, I thought you'd like it there, they've got a lot of interesting books." answered Mark
"Books are the only reason why you told me to go there." asked Jinyoung
"Yes, and what? You can't just get there. Nobody knows about them, only those who have been told about this by a person who has already been there can come there."
"Do you know the girl in red who works there in the second hall?" asked Jinyoung.
"I know" laughed Mark "But only she is not an employee, she is the owner."
"Tell us about her" asked Jinyoung
"Forget about it. She's not in our league. I'm even afraid to turn to her once again when she's at the bar. I've never met anyone like her. I heard that if you post on the Internet about this coffee shop, it's gone in a minute. She seems to have too much power. Even the two guys who work there, they're not bartenders, they're security guards."
"I've only seen one guy," Jaebeom said
'Me too' confirmed Jinyoung
"The second guy is on sick leave. One of the new customers recently got drunk and threw a glass in her direction, but the bartender stood in front of her and the glass crashed against his head. Usually in such cases there is began a panic, even me feel uncomfortable, but she looked like she saw it every day. A minute later, the customer was entered by security, and she calmly pulled shards of glass from his wound until an ambulance arrived." Mark shook his head "I have to go, see you later" he said, looking at his watch.
"Yes, see you" replied Jaebeom
'She's really something,' he thought to himself. And how do they deal with that. If he had the idea of hiring someone to find out more about her, now he realizes that it could be dangerous.
"Can we hire someone to find out who she is?" asked Jaebeom when Mark left.
"I've thought about it too, but now I'm not sure it's a good idea. Judging by what Mark said about her, she learns that she is being watched for 5 minutes, and in next five will know who exactly do it".
"Why don't we go to the coffee shop tomorrow?" asked Jaebeom.
"She certainly won't communicate with us there. It seems that she often visits the library, it is necessary to meet with her in neutral territory"
"It feels like we're discussing a takeover of a company, not an acquaintance with a girl." laughed Jaebeom
They came home with the hope that they could meet you again.
POV You
You were sitting in your office, the day was too busy. You smiled remembering those two guys outside the library. They seemed too innocent. You picked up the phone and dialed the number.
"My goodness. I never thought I'd be able to hear your beautiful voice again." answered male voice
"Too much sarcasm, from someone like you" you answered
"I just thought you were on the side of the angels now. Although it's safer for them if you're on their side."
"You've forgotten, I'm always on my side" you grinned.
"Closer to the point, baby. I don't think you called to find out how I was doing. Who should be found?"
"I sent pictures to your mail." You selected some screenshots from the surveillance camera in the coffee shops and clicked send.
"Ok. Will you come to see me sometime?"
"Have you forgotten? I'm kind of on the side of the angels," you said, and hung up.
A few days later you were sitting in a car looking at the pictures. 'They're really 1+1,' you thought. Always together, live together, even their families are friends. You read the name of the companies that their families own, they seemed too familiar. You took out your phone and opened your mother's letter, which had blind dating candidates. After scrolling through the list, you found two familiar names. 'Best in everything' you grinned. You kept looking at the photo, from home, from the car, from the workout, from the restaurants. You stopped at the last photo "This is more interesting" you said and laughed. You put the last photo in the envelope and put it in your bag. "Get rid of it" you passed the rest of the photos to the driver.
"Yes, Miss"
"I'll be on my own for a few days. I want to check something."
"Okay, miss. I'll be in the coffee shop. Drive your car from home?"
"My father didn't burn it after I refused to be part of the family business?"
He smiled, "He's probably still hoping that in a few years you'll change your mind. As far as I know there were no restrictions on your account"
"A couple of years? Hmm, maybe I'll change my mind" you got out of the car and went towards the library.
You've never been in a crowded place, unnecessarily. You felt like someone was looking at you all the time. When you went out and turned the corner, you heard quick steps in your direction. You wondered who might have been chasing you, so you decided to stop and see. But you didn't expect it to be your clients. You barely kept a smile when they fell in front of you. It's been a long time since you've been entertained. You've decided to see what'll happens.
You went into the library and sat down at your favorite place by the big window. You opened the book and started reading, it always calmed you down. It was a little escape to a made-up world. That's why you opened this coffee shop for those who wanted a break from the outside world.
"Excuse me, can I meet with you?" You looked away from the book and turned to the sound source. There was a nice guy in his 20s, standing in front of you, with a bright smile, holding out a drink for you. Apparently your look was too dissatisfied because you were distract from reading. That's why the guy apologized a few times and putting the drink next to you disappeared from view. You looked closely at the drink before you went back to your book. You heard laughter at the next table. Turned your head you saw two students who giggled and whispered, looking in your direction. Apparently today you will not be allowed to read quietly. You took a deep breath trying not to kill these girls mentally. You were too annoyed by the people who were discussing you behind your back, you could have seen us differently before. But as you were reminded recently, you're on the side of the angels. 'Devil pretends an angel' you laughed at the thought. After looking at the hall, you made sure that those you wanted to see were not here. You got up from your seat and went between the book rows to get the book back in place. You turned on your heels and headed for the exit. When you went into the library, you noticed a coffee shop, you decided to wait for your car there. You were hoping there wouldn't be too many people there at that time. When you got to the place, you went inside, and was happy because only a few tables were occupied. You sit on a table by the window from which you can see the parking lot, and you made an order. You feeling the vibration and picked up the phone.
"Your car will be in half an hour"
You smiled that your wait wouldn't last long.
POV Jaebeom
He was reaching the entrance to the library when he saw Jinyoung standing in front of the entrance.
"Well, what went in search?" said Jinyoung, when Jaebeom came closer.
"People already think we live in the library," he laughed. They were walking past the coffee shop when the red clothes in the window caught his attention. He didn't believe his eyes right away. You were wearing a red smock ruffle blouse and short black shorts that were naked on your beautiful legs. He stopped, but Jinyoung continued to walk towards the library. Grabbing Jinyoung by the collar he drew to himself.
"Hey, what are you doing?" said Jinyoung, stepping back.
"I think our plans have changed. Let's go and take some coffee."
"What? What coffee? Aren't we..." Jinyoung didn’t finish when he saw you in the window. "Coffee? Great idea, I really want to drink a coffee"
They went inside and quickly made an order. The hall was half empty, you were sitting on the couch at a table near the window and something looked at on the phone, with not very happy look. But then she smiled broadly, and from your smile a wave of trembling passed through his body. I think it's the first time he's seen your sincere smile. They took their order and went to your table.
"Is it not occupied?" he asked, and without waiting for an answer, they sat down on the couch opposite you.
You looked up from the phone and first looked at Jaebeom and then at Jinyoung. "You really are 1+1! But usually people wait for the answer to the question they asked before you take further action." you raised an eyebrow.
"I'm sure it's not occupied here," Jinyoung said.
"Then absolutely loses the meaning of your question, if you were sure that the place is free" you turned your eyes again to your phone.
He just loved what you said. I always left the last word behind me. He laughed.
"I think we started the wrong way," he said with a smile. "Hi. How are you?"
"Great" you answered without even looking at them.
"Isn't it customary to ask in response 'how are you' from the interlocutor" said Jinyoung, taking a sip of coffee
"Even if I'm not really interested?" you asked, finally looking at them.
"Even if you're not interested", Jaebeom smiled.
"How are you?" You fake smiled for a second
"We're great too, thank you for asking," Jinyoung replied, smiling broadly.
"We not introduced each other last time," Jaebeom said.
"Are you talking about the time when you both were lying at my feet" you grinned
"Yes, about that time" replied Jinyoung
"I know yours names"
"You know?" asked Jaebeom
"Yes, I do. 1+1!" You sent a stinging smile to them, and goosebumps ran over his skin. 'What a cute devil' he thought to himself.
Jinyoung laughed loudly, "If you like it, you can call us like that. But for help my name is Jinyoung, and this is my best friend Jaebeom"
"What's your name?" asked Jaebeom
"Why are you trying so hard to meet me?" you asked, taking the phone in your bag and completely switching your attention to them.
"We like you, " calmly replied Jinyoung
"Do you like me? Are you two?"
"Yes. Did you forget, after all, you called us 1 + 1" smiled Jaebeom
"Very interesting couple" you said your thought in loud. You looked intently first at him and then at Jinyoung.
Every time you looked at him with that glance, he seemed to fall in love more and more. "In that case, I have a couple of questions."
"Of course, ask everything you're interested in," Jinyoung replied.
"Are you gay?"
"No" they answered at the same time, and you chuckled. "We like girls. And now we like you," Jaebeom added.
"Are you bisexual?"
"No" they answered and looked at each other
"This time the answer was less confident. Perhaps you yourself do not know the exact answer to it." you said carefully watching their every move. "Have you kissed?" you asked, pointing your finger at them
"No" they answered again together. He heard the vibration of your phone before you took it out of your bag. You picked up the phone, but you didn't produce a word, you just looked out the window and nodded. He looked out the window, too, and saw a guy in a black suit, the same guy they saw in the library hallway.
"Then the last question. Did you want to kiss each other?" your view has changed, now he would have called it piercing through.
"No" they almost responded together, and he was glad that his answer coincided with Jinyoung's response.
You smirked and got out of your seat. So without saying anything, you're gone.
"See you " said Jinyoung to you after
For a few minutes they sat in silence, watching you leave the window. He still felt a tremor in his body from your gaze. Each time your presence caused indescribable emotions. He turned his eyes to Jinyoung and saw all the same emotions on his face as he was experiencing himself.
"I wonder if it's progress?" he said, "She spoke to us, but we still not knew her name."
Jinyoung laughed at his words. "I think it can definitely be called progress"
They had coffee and headed for the exit.
"Sorry" to them spoke the girl behind the bar. "Before going out, the girl you were sitting with asked to pass it on to you" she held out a white envelope and he took it
"Thank you" smiled Jinyoung
He turned the envelope over and saw the inscription in beautiful handwriting:
"Are you sure the answer to the last question is 'no'?"
He opened the envelope and the cold walked through his veins, chaining his whole body in a tight knot when he saw a photograph. It was a screenshot from a surveillance camera. In the pictures, he pressed Jinyoung against a wall in a dark corridor, and their faces were only a few centimetres apart.
"We seem to be in trouble," he said, handing over an envelope with a photo of Jinyoung.
'It's time to stop playing honestly,' he thought. He glanced again at the photograph which jinyoung held with trembling hands, and his face was an unreadable mask.
"Let's go" he put his arms around Jinyoung's shoulders, and headed for the exit. "I think we've been at the club in a long time ago"
_____________________________
LIST
Part: [ 1] [ 2] [ 3 ] [ 3.5 ] [ 4 ] [ ]
#got7#jinyoung x reader#jaebeom x reader#got7 x reader#jinyoung x you#jaebeom x you#jinyoung x y/n#jaebeom x y/n#got7 x you#jb#jaebeom#jinyoung#got7 jb#got7 jaebeom#got7 jinyoung#im jaebeom#park jinyoung#got7 im jaebeom#got7 park jinyoung#got7 fluff#jaebeom fluff#jinyoung fluff#jaebeom fanfic#jinyoung fanfic#kpop fluff#kpop fanfic#got7 fanfic#got7 series#jj project#jj project fluff
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WEEKLY UPDATE #6
Nov. 16
Felt sad today ngeokz 👁👄👁 just did acads then rest then play then acads again. i also over ate jd doe like i sobra A LOT i h8 myself for not being disciplined
Nov. 17
2:02 AM: Matulog na unta ko pero nag imagine kog scenario nga namatay ko!!!! gidunggab daw ko ni tala our working student atong kami ra 2 house!!!!!! nya naimagine dayon nako unsa imo reaction and nag imagine ko sa imo mga i say sa others naghilaka na nuon ko kay touching au imo mga gipang say sako imagination :(((( OMG I CANNOT WITH MYSELF AND MY IDIOT MIND
But overall an okay day lang went to the dentist my tooth is finally okay yaaay
Nov. 18
Woke up early doe i feel so sleep deprived aish
Had a final exam today and it was just sayon lang man may gani i didn’t study very hard for dis hehe i hope i get a good grade doeee
so mingaw the house doeee so silent cos kami lang ni tala and fri pa sila balik 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️
also had my period today yay the pills making me regular na gyddd but sakit ako likod aish
Nov. 19
Just a boring daaay just watched kdrama and movies today
Nov. 20
My heart is heavy today and aish I cried for awhile doeee. It’s a boring day again and idk my idiot mind thought napd idiot thoughts. Almost 6 months na doe but wala paman gyapon ko uy. Bisag naanad nako gamay nga wala gyd constant ka storya kay naa gyd mga days like these nga makahilak gyd ko sa kamingaw and maka reminisce dayon ko. Up until now doe you really mean a lot to me gihapon and you’re still one of the people nga comfortable kyko makig storya but I try sad gyd to not samok2 you because i think it’s not okay doe. whenever i feel something i just write it here and then wait for u to read it nalang becos i know man pd nga one day, maybe di najd ta mag talk sa each other and i should prepare myself for that doe. aish pero until now if i have news in my life i still want to update you and i also want to be updated with ur life but its so hard for me to see u pd living your life without me aish u know dat naman i cant kaya pa gani watch your twitter and ig stories
Before, i thought ma okay nako at 6 months pero di paman gyapon oy. i feel luoy at myself sometimes cos i feel so left behind but i really dont know what to do para mapadali ang process. BUT I KNOW I’VE BEEN SO STRONG!!!!!!!! it’s soooo hard lang gyd to keep on trying :((( why am i such an idiot and why is it hard for me to just move on doeeee luoy nako sako self gusto rko ma happy pero dili pajd kaya ☹️
Nov. 21
Feeling better today doe but my body super tired just watched kdrama and slept a lot today 😴 also did a little acads but little lang cos im really unmotivated aish
also, hearing u go out with your friends kay makulbaan jd ko or like musakit jd gamay ako heart cos we really are living our lives separately now ana btaw nga feeling and until now i dont know why maapektohan gyapon ko 😩 but im super happy for you always!!! hehehe continue to just be with people that make u happy doe so u will also feel better 😊😊😊
Nov. 22
Today i was uneasy doe cos idk i knew you were traveling and it made me uneasy becos idk if you’re there na or what but aish i know i should not care na about dat so i distracted myself nalang may gani motivated ko today doeee i ligo the dogs, i finished editing our research, i made the script, and i recorded na
even though i get kulbaan to see stories of u or stories nga naa ka, it also makes me happy cos thats the only time i get to see u doe hehehe and u were so gwapo pa gyd kanina 🥺 i’m really happy na u had fun doeeee para ma relieve imo stress or whatever you’re feeling cos u dont deserve to be tired or sad hmpfttt
i also cried while watching a video doe hahahah its a song cover by a couple na schoolmates nako sa jhs and they covered the song kato btawng naay lyrics nga “if the world was ending, you’d come over right?” AND I CRIEDDD COS I REMEMBER I ASKED U THAT BEFOREEEE 🥺 and i also cried cos im so suya i miss being inlove ugh naol!!! 😡
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studying w/ lee byounggon!
hello cutest ppl of the world!!! here is a present for u <3 and pls read my scenario for bad boy gon!! or soft blurb gon
studying w/ lee byounggon (a bad idea)
OK SO you and byounggon have AP biology together, and somehow, by the grace of GOd himself, you’ve made it to the end of the year
It’s time for ur final exam!!! yay!! because u can finally peace TF out of that class, but aww :’(( bc you have a final exam with 100 multiple choice and 10 written questions 😔
some of ur ap bio shenanigans have included:
byounggon reading multiple questions OUT LOUD while you are writing the test and he literally doesn’t even notice
Like he just does it so naturally??? you’ll be side eyeing him through the divider that separates your desks
in your head, you’ll be like “AHEMMMM at LEAST read out the answers too damn ...”
He does not read out the answers :/
even tho it can be kind of off-putting, his voice is rlly deep and soothing!!!! so honestly it kind of helps your test anxiety
......but u will never admit that... he would have too much power
you and byounggon once made an animal cell out of rice krispy treats & candy
you guys left the project to the very last minute because collectively u have one brain cell
U guys started building but then u ate so much candy, you ended up puking🤮
After u had released the #barf, you and byounggon choose to cuddle up on the couch and u just chill for a couple hours
Somehow u convinced him to watch bird box????? He was DYING!!!
But it’s ok bc ur the Best Significant Other Ever and you used imdb to research every possible death scene!! and u gave him a solid 3 second warning every time
ONE TIME u were just a little bit off and he watched something a lil gruesome
U lost ur abiliity to hear from the scream that he released
“im never watching a movie with you AGAIN!”
“i said i was SORRY sodfjsdiofjsdio”
He complained for so long but then you promised you’d make it up to him with some kisses and he was like.... “hehehe ok im down”
a whole baby!!!!!
Its around 11pm now!! You and gon are cuddling on the couch, and it’s so warm, and cute, and wholesome <333
Ur running ur fingers through his soft hair and playing with his fingers; he’s just calmly humming and loving every minute of this
u start to close ur eyes and u feel kinda sleepy, so you lay your head on byounggon’s chest and just nestle in
you’re about to say “goodnight chief” and call it a night
But something feels off?
u suddenly shoot TF up and your mind is racing and ur like “thE PROJECT !!”, real movie type shit
Ur trying not to LOSE UR MIND while byounggon is just snoring away... his arms are wrapped so tightly around u, and ur mind is still 23% asleep
honestly... maybe u should just lean back into his chest and fall asleep....
But then ur guilt complex is like ‘NO the pROJECT’
U want to wake him up but Byounggon: has left the chat
You start poking at his cheek erratically, and when he FINALLY wakes up, he’s all mumbley and tired and CUTE
U break the tragic news to him and now you’re both contemplating mental breakdowns
For the next 6 hours you guys are DEDICATED to this project
U show up to school the next morning with ur masterpiece:
(yall i rlly made that shit, respect me)
your eyes are SO unbelievably red, and for some reason, ur hair has marshmallow fluff in it????? u have to convince byounggon not to eat that shit on four separate occasions
“It looks yummy”
“PLS restrain urself”
So ur looking a little bit busted, but still cute, bc ur BEAUTIFUL nd sexy
SOMEHOW byounggon still looks perfect???? He looks like he’s just been rejuvenated by 10 hours of sleep; his skin is glowing and his eyes are twinkling... #unfair
when u guys show up to class, your teacher is sO happy with your project!!!!
but then she takes one look at you and she’s like, “(y/n) can i talk to you for a minute pls?”
“ uhh yeah ok, sure!!”
U think she’s about to tell you that she’s so proud of you both for coming up with such a creative idea, and for doing such a good job with the materials u used, but then she’s like:
“(y/n) ur eyes are so red”
ur kinda :’((( bc u think she’s about to scold you for pulling an allnighter...she’s a mama bear
“Pls stop smoking before class it’s rlly inappropriate”
Ur mouth is dropped WIDE open and byounggon is in the corner, snickering the sleep deprivation away: u want to kILL HIM!
Honestly, ur so shook, u kinda just stand there in silence while your teacher just shakes her head and does one of those “tsk tsk tsk” things and walks away
When u go back to ur desk, byounggon is like, “yea (y/n), u should rlly stop smoking at school, it’s super rude and honestly kind of distract-”
The look u give him makes him shut UP IMMEDIATELY
but then he just cranes his long arms around ur waist and smiles into the crook of ur neck and he’s like: “baby im sorry i love u”
So wholesome :’))))
Ur choked up?? And after all that work, a little bit delirious? U lean back into him and tilt ur head to the side so he can kiss u
when he pulls away he gives u this rlly uneven smirk
“even if u smoke before class”
“RUN AWAY RIGHT NOW OR IM GONNA [redacted]”
A couple weeks later, u guys have to do this lab on human heart rate and metabolism
bc byounggon is ur deskmate, he’s also ur lab partner (unfortunately)
Byounggon is RLLY SMART, but honestly u guys are just rlly unproductive when ur together bc u just want to. . .. hug him (relatable)
For one part of the lab, somebody needs to stick their hand into ice water while the other person monitors their heart rate
Byounggon REALLY passionately wants to be the one to dunk his hand in the water tank and ur just like “lmao ok calm down”
HIS HAND HAS BEEN IN THE ICE WATER FOR THREE MINUTES
@ this point, ur concerned x 3493049304930
He’s just like: “im FINE it’s FINE, keep going”
His eyes are TWITCHING
U have to forcefully yank his hand out of the water because he literally will NOT??? why is he like this
But it’s ok bc u warmed up his hand with lots hand holding and sweet lil kisses <333333
overall, bio have been a WILD ride, but byounggon has made it so much more enjoyable,,, and u guys love each other lots,,, (y/n) and byounggon for cutest couple 2k19 😘
Okay so now for the studying!!!
byounggon kind of had to beg to get you to study with him at the library
but that’s only because every time u study with him, u dont retain SHIT, bc ur too busy drooling over his jawline
U wanted to be rlly strict and firm so you could actually be well prepared!!!! But when he started whining and hugging on you,,,, what wEre you SUppOSED to DO?!?
So NOW, u and gon are at the library
U make him sit across from u
Because the lord knows, if he’s sitting next to, he will not stop kissing ur face and u RLLY need to do some learning!!! Studious Queen
twelve minutes into mitosis and chill, byounggon is pouting and using his biology textbook as a pillow
Literally byounggon is the kind of guy that looks like he’d be a rlly messy student, but he will take one look at the textbook, and get a 96%
So ofc, he’s like... “studying... who’s she?”
He’s just staring at you
In this moment, u look SO CUTE, bc ur head is burried in your book, and ur hair is adorably messy, and ur eyebrows are scrunched together bc ur rlly focused
Ur the cutest thing he ever saw?????
“Gon,,, baby u have to stop staring at me,, i can’t concentrate”
He’s so GOOFY
“im noooooooooot”
(he totally is)
It’s been about two hours?? Byounggon took a power nap, and u reviewed everything u possibly could,,, now u just want byounggon to hum u to sleep
byounggon is POWERED UP (stream power up by red velvet) from his nap and he’s very, very, very giddy
And a lil clingy bc u haven’t cuddled him today yet :/
He’s been saying “mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell” for about 8 minutes,,, u would throw ur bag of hot cheetos at him but he’s just too pretty
He’s laughing AT HIMSELF
Ur shaking ur head and laughing at him too
The librarian POPS UP out of literally nowhere?? She looks at byounggon playing candy crush on his phone and she’s like “SHHHHHHHHHH!!! young man! you are being so disrespectful! this place is for students to study! U need to leave immediately”
She’s about to point her finger at you too, but then:
“Ma’am i’ve never seen this boy in my whole life” 😜
Byounggon is Taken Aback™
He rlly can’t believe u just did that
U start laughing so hard bc PAYBACK
But his mind is just thinking.. . “top ten worst anime betrayals of all time”
The librarian is so annoyed with both of you she just turns around and mumbles something like “stupID KIDS”
U have to lug byounggon outside bc now he’s #embarrassed bc of the librarian, and #hurt because u threw him under the bus
He’s still pretending to be upset by the time u guys make it back to his house, and u have to give him all sorts of compliments to make everything okay again
“ur chin.... is straight SEXY”
“i think it’s cute that u eat bananas with sriracha”
“i, for one, like the screams you make when we watch horror movies”
THE COMPLIMENTS ARE SO STUPID BUT FOR SOME REASON HE’S BLUSHING???? blushy babyyyyy 💖
u conclude with a veryyyy sweet kiss on his lips
let’s just say... he forgives u
THE NEXT DAY!!! It’s time for ur exam omgomg :’))))))
byounggon finishes that shit in 26 minutes and somehow ends up getting a 92%
it took u a solid 48 minutes and u ended up with a nice and spicy 90%
he gets the better mark bc he’s god Lee Byounggon??? U will never understand bc he rlly doesn’t even try.... U can’t relate
But it’s ok
Because he’s the cutest thing to ever exist in the world, and even if he makes u the most unproductive person in existence, u love him more than anything <333
And he loves u bby!!!!!
the librarian, on the other, loves neither of u 😔 ......
THE END ! ! ! !
i love u all!! and thank u for ur support!! hit like if u feel bad for the librarian 😔
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OHKAY SO @rhyciensmut SENT ME AN ASK AND I LOST IT CUZ IM AN IDIOT BUT ANYWHO HERE IT IS
hi!! im not really sure if you're still taking these but rhycien + "you’ve had a rough day so let’s get in our PJs and watch a cute movie together and cuddle"?
Sure thing!
Prompt: hey you’ve had a rough day so let’s get in our PJs and watch a cute movie together and cuddle bUT IT’S TOTALLY PLATONIC ALRIGHT
(Yeah you can still send me these if u want) (also i changed cute movies to cute tv shows and gilmore girls is a personal comfort show of mine)
Lucien lay on the floor of Feyre and Rhysand's dorm room to study. He was here and not his room because currently Vassa was entertaining some of her friends from her "Queens" roller derby team and they were.... a little intense to say the least. So he'd taken refuge at Feyre's like she always said he could.
Feyre herself was out on a date with Mor and she promises that Rhys would be late home anyway because of the Poli-Sci class of his doing some thing or another, so it would be quiet. Food was in the fridge and he was free to use her Netflix account.
Not that Lucien minded Rhys. In fact, they had become friends recently, and Lucien actually rather enjoyed hanging out with him. Too much, actually.
Way too much.
And anyway, Lucien was busy. It was a good thing that Rhys would be out late, Lucien had a soc paper due and he couldn't have any distractions (also the reason he hadn't headed over to Cass & Az's place, though, albeit, Rhys was certainly a much more welcome distraction than the two of them).
Lucien turned on Criminal Minds as background noise and got to work.
Lucien hadn't realized how late it was until the door blew open and Rhys stormed through. Lucien jumped at the sudden noise and fumbled with the remote as he turned off the TV. "Oh. Hey Rhys."
Rhys glanced down at Lucien and a flash of surprise lit his face. "Lucien. What're you doing here?" He said in a way that was cold and harsh.
Lucien flinched. "Feyre said I could study- I'll leave if I'm disturbing you-"
Rhys' face softened immidately on seeing Lucien flinch. "No. Stay." He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry, I was just- Today has been a bad day. Sorry if I'm a bitch tonight."
"Oh, that's okay. I was gonna just study anyway--no need to feel like you have to pay attention to me or anything." Lucien tapped gently out a sentance on the keyboard of his laptop as Rhys struggled out of his coat and scarves.
"Want to talk about it?" Lucien asked.
Rhys shook his head and sat down on the couch. He pulled a pillow up to his chest, resting his chin on it. "Not really." He muttered.
He glanced over at Lucien. "Paper for Spellcleaver's class?"
"Yeah."
"Heard he's a tough grader." Suddenly Rhys flushed and looked away. "Sorry." He mumbled. "You probably want to write in peace. I'll just go to my room-"
"Actually, I'm pretty much done. I've just got a few more line of the conclusion to write, but I can do that tomorrow." Lucien said. He saved and closed his laptop. "You don't have to leave. I was planning on sleeping over anyway so what do you want to do to make you feel better?" Lucien asked.
"Don't make fun of me." Rhys warned.
"Would I ever?" Lucien asked retorhically because while they both knew he would under normal circumstances they also both knew he wouldn't at this very moment.
"I just kinda... want to sit here and watch fluffy tv shows... okay?"
Or well, knew Lucien wouldn't after he got one shot in. "Should we also paint each others nails?" Lucien teased.
"You said you weren't going to make fun of me!" Rhys whined, hitting Lucien gently on the arm.
Lucien chuckled. "That was the only one I get for the night. Promise." He tossed the remote over to Rhys. "Alright, slumber party it is. Pick a show and I'll see what junk food you have."
Lucien stood and walked over to the kitchenette when Rhys called "Feyre's got some Ben and Jerry's in the freezer!"
While Lucien grabbed a handful of crap-food from the kitchenette (Ben and Jerry's included) Rhys went to his room and changed into a pair of pajama booty-shorts he'd gotten as a gag gift from Mor (they read "Enemy of the State" across the butt, 'cuz he was a poli-sci major Mor had explained) and a sweatshirt. Lucien tossed him a bag of doritos and stuck a Plate of nachos into the toaster oven to cook while he took the oppertunity to change into pajamas as well. (His, however, proclaimed no discontentment towards the state of any kind).
By the time he was done so was their food and they settled down on the couch, nachos between them, as Rhys clicked on Gilmore Girls (currently his go-to feel good show). Rhys liked to yell at the characters when they did something stupid and loved the sense of humor. Lucien didn't feel much of one way or another about the show, but Rhys loved it. And He-
Nope. Not going there.
Lucien settled his eyes back on the TV, hoping the redness of his cheeks would fade before Rhys looked over.
Seven episodes, two nacho platters, three bags of chips, two hot chocolates, and a half a pint of ice cream later, Rhys and Lucien were curled up together on the couch, Rhys laying on Lucien's chest and Lucien trying really really hard not to be- well... hard.
Dead puppies. Professor Helion in a bikini. That time you accidently walked in on Eris. Naked Grandma. Amren.
Rhys shimmied slightly in Lucien's grasp, and Lucien caught his breath. He'd been trying so hard (really, he had to stop thinking about that word-) not to have a guest appendage apperance that he hadn't noticed the "Are you still watching" Netflix message. How long had that been up there? Why wasn't Rhys reaching to-
Oh. Lucien craned his neck around to see Rhys's face. Rhys had fallen asleep.
On Lucien.
So here Lucien was trapped. Until the end of his days. Not a bad way to go, Lucien thought absently as he restrained himself from brushing Rhys' hair from his face.
Lucien gently reached over Rhys and turned off the TV, careful not to wake him. He then settled back under Rhys, curling his arms tighter around Rhys's waist so he wouldn't fall off the couch and riskily place his head in the crook of Rhys' neck. His eyes flutter closed right as Rhys said groggily: "Lucien?"
"Hmm?" Lucien's heart pounded in his chest as Rhys shifted around, tired eyes blinking open, long thick eyelashes sweeping.
Lucien forgot how to breathe. And any luck he'd had preventing an erection was suddenly out the window.
"Thanks for tonight." He mumbled, yawning loudly. His eyes fluttered closed again, as if he couldn't keep them open anymore. "I know I-" he took a break to yawn again, "-interrupted your studying with my shit, but you've really made my day better. You're a good friend." He turned back around and settled back against Lucien.
Yeah, Lucien thought, heart crushed. Friend.
Lucien leaned his head back down against Rhys' neck and closed his eyes. He was just on the verge of sinking into sleep when could have sworn he'd heard Rhys breathe a slightly incoherent: "love you."
Lucien's heart skipped a beat as he said back, "love you too."
#diana writes prompts#diana writes rhycien#diana writes lucien vanserra#diana wants attention#diana replies#anywho sorry abt losing the ask hope this works#me????? posting content???? never!
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