#she went white at 25 and i'm 3 years away
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man last twilight hit me particularly hard today and i'm still crying after finishing the episode.
i spent a good chunk of my day at my specialist today and it wasn't great. my disease is getting worse. my weekly shots aren't enough anymore. i'm so tired and i can't stop fucking crying.
my immune system is fucked up, i produce too many white blood cells and those white blood cells have chosen to attack my skin. it leaves me with holes across my body - some of my wounds are now over a year old. when they heal they leave atrophic scarring - but they aren't even healing anymore.
the specialist gasped at the sight of me today. (i'd never seen her before, my state of being was new to her.)
"you're bleeding."
"i know."
"you're bleeding like, a lot."
"i know. i take iron supplements, it's okay."
"it's going to get all over your pants."
"it's okay."
"are you in pain?"
"yes. i'm used to it."
"are you in a lot of pain?"
"yes. it's okay."
she was so concerned, so alarmed, and i couldn't help but just smile and laugh it off. if i don't i'll end up like i am now, sobbing at my desk hidden away from my family because there's nothing they can do for me, they'll just hug me and say they're so sorry, they wish there was something they could do. but there's nothing anyone can do, this is just my life now.
"how often do you take your shots?"
"every friday."
"the recommended schedule for that medicine is once every two weeks"
"yes, they increased the frequency for me because i'm stage 3"
"and you never miss a dose?"
"no, i take it on schedule every week."
"i don't think it's working anymore."
i try to be strong about it, most of the time i am - this is just my life now, wallowing about it isn't going to fix it. i'm stage 3, the only thing that will fix it is a cure, but that doesn't exist yet.
i recently had to buy those washable period underwear because one of my year old wounds just won't stop bleeding and i'm so tired of washing the blood out of my pants. i've gotten so good at preventing bloodstains. (a mix of dawn dish soap, water, and baking soda as a pre-soak works wonders)
i bought an antimicrobial soap in bulk last week to prevent infection. it dries out my skin, but it's not as bad as the diluted bleach baths. i have to start using 10% benzoyl peroxide as a body wash.
"do you have a fever?"
"no, i check regularly."
"your wounds are really deep, we're worried about you potentially going septic."
"i'm very careful and keep them clean."
i buy bandages and tape in bulk. my allergic reaction to the tape adhesives are the lesser of two evils. sometimes they get so bad i bleed, but it's just an abrasion. it's okay.
and now i have to take another round of antibiotics that make me nauseous.
and they're changing my medication. i'm 'lucky,' a new medication was approved by the FDA recently that shows good results in reducing the symptoms of my disease. but how long will it be before i don't respond to that anymore?
it's another biologic, an immunosuppressant shot, and i'm sure just like last time it's going to make me so, so sick. adjusting to biologics is so hard, it's not totally unlike low dose chemo (obviously there are differences) and last time it made me sick for weeks.
i don't want to be sick. i don't want to take these antibiotics that make me nauseous. i don't want to keep scrubbing the blood out of my pants. i don't want to use the soap that dries out my skin. i don't want to wear perfume to cover up the smell of my dying flesh.
i can't even have sex with my husband. we recently went a year without having sex and i know he understands, he gets it, but i can't help but think part of him resents me. we got together when i was 22, when my symptoms were still mild, i got my diagnosis at 25. i quit my office job and lost my insurance. we eloped at 27 so he could add me to his insurance and i could afford my treatment. his family spent the next year asking why we were in such a rush to get married, we didn't know how to explain to them it was because my doctor was preparing to declare me completely disabled.
i don't want to be in pain anymore. it's been almost 10 years.
i'm okay, i'll feel better tomorrow, maybe even in a few hours, but i can see why people kill themselves over this. i'm so tired. i'm so defeated. i have to hope there will be a cure someday, something better than just pushing down the symptoms.
if you read this far thank you. like i said, i'm fine. i just wanted to get my thoughts and feelings out and i'm bad about talking to my family - they worry too much, pity me too much.
#personal#like very personal#cw gross medical shit#cw talk abt my sex life#or lackthereof#cw disease#cw medication
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I would straight up ask #1-25 for both Emet and Thancred, cause I'm freaking curious but I won't get greedy-
#1-10 for tragic white-haired ffxiv man of your choice
(>ᴗ•)
saved this one for last bc i knew i'd spend a ton of time on it willingly. i'll answer as many as i can for both because why not? gonna start with thancred x wol z’hana because that (self ship) doesn't stray too far outside of canon unlike the soul bond au, and i’ll post emet-selch x wol separately. fair warning tho, i'm not great at writing thancred... hence why there's so little of him in my works... but here we go! ໒꒰ྀི´ ˘ ` ꒱ྀིა
1. Do you get jealous or protective over your partner?
z'hana: i did get a little jealous in the beginning, but now that i know him well, not really. and i only get protective when he's overworking himself.
thancred: me, jealous? never. and perhaps i might be more protective if she hadn't already bested me in combat more than once, but i'll never shy away from a fight to keep her safe. (lies. he gets v. jealous.)
2. What are your pet names for each other?
z'hana: babe, darling, sweetheart, handsome, honey
thancred: the ones i can share, or the ones i can’t?… (cue glare from z’hana as he grins.) darling, love/my love, sweetheart.
3. What is your idea of a perfect date?
z'hana: i quite enjoy traveling with him. i still remember the time he whisked me away for an evening on scion gil right under tataru’s nose…. she was not happy, but it was an excellent night nonetheless.
thancred: i don’t ask for much…. a home cooked meal and the love of my life.
4. What are your names saved in each other phones?
z'hana: thancred
thancred: z’hana
5. Do you like cuddling? Why or why not?
z'hana: i enjoy it a lot, but too much and it’s overbearing.
thancred: i would agree, i’m much the same.
6. What do you think the others love language is?
z'hana: physical touch
thancred: physical touch
7. What’s the one trait about each other that annoys you the most?
z'hana: he still tries to brush things off with bravado and charm, even after multiple years together.
thancred: she’s the most stubborn woman i’ve ever met, right after y’stola…. don’t tell her i said that.
8. Coffee or Tea?
z'hana: coffee
thancred: coffee
9. What was your first impressions of each other?
z'hana: he was attractive, perhaps a little over confident. thancred: she was pretty. a competent ally.
10. What attracted you to each other?
z'hana: over time, it was our friendship…. it certainly didn’t hurt that he’s a sight for sore eyes.
thancred: i should say her tenacity.
11. When did you know you were in love?
z'hana: probably at some point during our time on the first…. it just sort of happened for me. he went from a friend i used to share a bed with to someone i didn’t want to be without.
thancred: my time on the first without her there made me realize i’d been a bit of an idiot. once we were reunited, i made a promise to myself that i’d never leave her again if i could help it… though we all know how that turned out in the final days.
13. What's the most noticeable physical attribute of your s/o to you?
z'hana: his back or his smile, i can’t decide.
thancred: will i earn another glare if i say her thighs?
14. Spicy: Favorite sexual position?
z'hana: oh gosh, haha. i don’t know, missionary is nice, i suppose? (lies.)
thancred: *eyeroll and a grin* she prefers modified doggy or prone bone, but i quite enjoy when she’s on top.
15. Who’s clingier?
z'hana: i am, hands down.
thancred: z’hana.
16. What do you two find to be the most attractive about one another?
z'hana: his loyalty, pragmatism, dedication…. he’s steady, whereas i can be a bit high strung and fickle.
thancred: i’m going to sound like i’ve gone soft when i say this, but it’s her kindness and strength.
18. PDA? Yes or No?
z'hana: i prefer it, yes. but subtle things, hand holding, maybe a hand on my back or an arm around my shoulder.
thancred: early on, we never did. once the rest of our friends (tataru) found us out, we started to be more open about it.
19. How often do you say I love you?
z'hana: frequently. all the time.
thancred: i say it when the moment is right.
21. Out of the two of you, who would be the one to kill / get rid of the spider?
z'hana: he is. i hate them.
thancred: i am.
22. Spicy What is your secret to getting the other in the mood?
z'hana: oh, you know. *nervous laughter* now that we’re not preventing a world ending calamity, he’s not difficult to get going. perhaps a certain look or turn of phrase.
thancred: a kiss or a gentle touch. i’m sure you can figure it out from there.
23. Would you rather never kiss again or go a year without sex?
z'hana: a year without sex. it would be a challenge, but manageable so long as i can kiss him whenever i like.
thancred: my drive for intimacy is quite high…. i’ll make the smart decision and defer to her.
24. Would you consider yourself lucky to have found each other ?
z'hana: yes. how could i not?
thancred: unbelievably so. in truth, without her, i’d have succumbed to my desire for liquor… though we don’t speak of those days much anymore.
25. What is something your s/o does that cheers you up instantly?
z'hana: he’s quite charming, i’ll give him that; he never fails to make me smile in that regard.
thancred: she’s very silly from time to time. her playfulness always brightens my day.
#I know I don’t have to do both but#I love them ur honor#I miss my blorbos so if zaz gives me a chance to gush I’m taking it#technically my original non self insert wol (mizuki) is a lalafell but i’ve only written miqo’te wol#but i digress#maybe someday i’ll be brave enough to take on the criticism but not today#yes i have a different self insert for different aus/ships#I feel like that’s normal but maybe it’s not#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#wolcred#thancred x wol#thancred waters#warrior of light#self ship#self insert#z’hana#bakubunny#ask games
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Untitled (Request)
Warnings: Spider-Man: No Way Home spoilers. Anymore let me know
Age: 25
Word Count: 1,174
Requests: Closed
Summary: You and your husband Peter unexpectedly disappeared leaving your 3-year-old daughter and your mother behind.
Requested by: Wattpad user
Date: 30/08/2022
A/N: thank you so much I hope you enjoy :)
I'm needing help with coming up with a title for this one too some reason I'm having a difficult time coming up with titles.
We have had mama Nat now for the first time ever we have grandma Nat
---⧗---
Natasha had just watched her daughter, her only child, her baby, disappear into dust right in front of her.
She didn't even get the chance to hug, kiss or even say goodbye to her baby.
Natasha didn't just lose her daughter she also lost her son-in-law Peter. There was one more person that she hoped she didn't lose.
She ran upstairs and into one of the bedrooms and she let out a sigh of relief when she saw the little girl peacefully sleeping in her bed having no idea that her parents are gone maybe forever
Above the bed, there were pink wooden letters with white spots that read 'May'. She was named after Peter's late aunt as a way to honour her as she raised Peter since he was very young.
Natasha sat down on May's bed and gently took hold of her little hand.
"I promise I'm never going to let anything happen to you. I couldn't save your parents but I'm going to keep you safe your whole life."
*6 Years Later*
Time went on and May reminded Natasha more and more of her daughter each day.
Each night May would wear her parent's clothes for pyjamas and she would always wear her mother's jewellery every day.
She would kiss the picture that she has beside her bed of her parents and her the day she was born and would look up to the sky just before bed and say goodnight to her parents and tell them just how she misses them and loves them and how she wished that they would come back and hold her in their arms again. Natasha would also talk to May about her parents and would tell her stories whenever she asked.
---⧗---
May walked downstairs and into the kitchen mentally preparing herself to tell her grandma something that she has been thinking about for a while.
"Hey, sweetheart I was just about to come to find you. Is everything okay?" Natasha asked while finishing putting away some dishes.
"Yes but I need to talk to you about something important."
Natasha put the tea towel down on the counter and turned to face May. "Of course honey, you can tell me anything."
"Grandma, I think, no wait I know I definitely know. 100% well maybe not 100 but..."
"Natasha put her hands on her granddaughter's shoulders "it's okay sweetheart take your time."
May took a deep breath and looked down at her hands and started playing with her fingers. "I'm gay." She whispered as if it was something to be ashamed of. "I like girls the way I'm supposed to like boys."
A wide smile grew on Natasha's face she was so glad that May knew she could tell her grandma anything and not feel scared or embarrassed.
She pulled May into a tight hug. "Thank you so much for telling me, sweetheart. It means a lot to me that you felt comfortable enough to share that with me and I'm going to support you and help you with whatever you need."
May hugged Natasha back tighter. "Thank you, grandma. I know that I'm only young and stuff but I have felt this way for a long time."
Natasha pulled may out of the hug and cupped her face. "No matter what I'll always be so proud of you. You're so brave for telling me."
Tears of happiness started filling in May's eyes. "Thank you for supporting me, grandma."
"I've got something to tell you too." Natasha wiped the tears away that fell from May's eyes. "Tony has found a way to bring your parents and everyone who disappeared all those years ago home."
May couldn't believe what she was hearing her parents were coming back "Is it true are they really coming back?"
Natasha nodded "You can go ask him if you want he's in the lab like always."
May nodded then ran to Tony's lab.
When she ran into the lab Tony was building something.
She ran over to him "Is it true that there's a way to bring my parents and everyone back?" She asked breathlessly.
"That's the goal kid," Tony replied not looking away from whatever it was he was building.
The smile that hadn't left May's face sudden faded when a million questions began running through her mind.
"What if they don't like me? What if I'm a disappointment to them? what if they aren't as great as grandma says they are? what if..." May spoke aloud pacing around the lab.
"Listen kid I get that you're having some sort of life crisis here but can you please do it elsewhere I've got a lot to do." Tony sighed.
"Right sorry," May said then quickly left the lab.
---⧗---
A few days had past Tony had finished figuring out the way to bring everyone home.
Natasha took May to a place where she would be safe but she didn't tell May why she had to stay there.
May waited and waited in one of the bedrooms but her grandma still hadn't returned she was starting to worry that something bad happened to her.
---⧗---
May looked up when the bedroom door opened and saw Natasha walk in. She ran into her grandma's arms and gives her the biggest hug in the world. "I thought something bad had happened to you."
"I'm so sorry for scaring you sweetheart the mission took a little longer than expected but I've got a surprise for you downstairs.
Natasha took May downstairs and covered her eyes when they got to the last stair and carefully led her into the living room.
A young couple was waiting in the living room for them.
When Natasha took her hands away from May's eyes and she saw who was standing in front of her tears started forming in her eyes. She recognised the couple from the pictures and she knew those were her parents. "Mommy, daddy." She ran over to you and Peter and hugged you both as tightly as she possibly could.
You couldn't believe how big your baby girl had gotten or that you were holding her in your arms again.
You pulled her away from you and cupped her face and started to study her facial features. She had Peter's brown hair and your green eyes. She looked so much like you when you were a child.
A few tears fell from May's eyes and you wiped them away with your thumbs. "My baby is no longer a baby anymore she's all grown up."
"I'm nearly 10 years old mama I'm definitely not a baby anymore," May told you.
You couldn't believe what you were hearing you missed 6 years of your daughter's life." I promise you my love me and your daddy are never going to leave you again."
---⧗---
You kept your promise and you and Peter hardly ever left May and you did all that you could to make up for the years that you had missed with her.
---⧗---
Taglist - @glxwingrxse // @griffin-girl-r // @uglymammoth // @arinexeisnotworking // @donuts2021 // @blackwidow-3 // @faesvoid // @ali-lie // @froufrousnowman // @mmmmokdok // @circe143 // @babbynuggets // @nighttime-dreaming // @lizlil // @lissaaaa145 // @snowdrop1026 // @shixicbe // @i-writes-things // @scarlet-kazuha // @geckygecks
#mama nat#natasha romanoff x daughter!reader#natasha x daughter!reader#grandma Nat#grandma Natasha#Y/N Parker#Y/N Parker daughter#Peter Parker x reader’s child#y/n romanoff
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Adventures of Chika Hanabusa: The Restoration of Earth
Disclaimer: This book follows the events of Percy Jackson and Heros of Olympus fanfic, this fanfic will not include Trails of Apollo, The Kane Chronicles, and Magnus Chase.
Chapter 25: The Confession
Flash Forward (Three Months)
Chika PoV
The volleyball team of my school went up against Isabelle's team. Both Isabelle and I just sat on the bleachers together as we saw Reyna crushing it at the field. Isabelle is wearing jeans and a red shirt, which oddly suits her better than the preppy clothing she usually wears. I decided to wear jean shorts with a white floral-patterned shirt. It’s nice that Isabelle and Chika are slowly becoming close again, but I can tell Isabelle is very distant from Reyna.
"Hey Isabelle, I want to ask. Why do you hate Reyna?" I saw in a low voice to not attract attention while Isabelle just sighed and stared at me.
"Look I don't hate Reyna or anyone for that matter. It's just at times, I'm very jealous of her because she seems so perfect and composed. I had never seen her in a vulnerable state like we have been throughout the years. Hades, right now she's winning regionals for your school." Just like that, the referee called the end of the game while Reyna scored the winning serve. The scorecard shows that my school beats Isabelle's school by 31-27. Isabelle looks apathetic while my entire school volleyball team just tackle hug Reyna to the ground while some carrying her on their shoulders. Reyna looked down on the team as she was carried and she did a small smile like she was content.
I’m happy that Reyna is fitting in at school, 3 months ago she was a bit guarded. It got to the point that many guys tried to date her, but she declined every time. I'm glad that she is having fun at school and away from running the settlement. Speaking of settlements, I should get Isabelle to come to Camp Jupiter with me. I'm going to ask her right now since it's obvious she didn't come here for the game.
“Hey Isabelle, I know that your godly mother is adamant about you not going to Camp Half-Blood, but I was thinking you could join us at Camp Jupiter.” I offered as we both watched Reyna celebrating with the volleyball team.
"I can't join Camp Jupiter as well, but my mom finds a settlement for me to go to. It's in Vancouver, Canada and it's run by the Titans who helped Olympus win the war." Wait there is a settlement run by Titans, that can be either good or bad, I wonder if somehow the Titans have kids with mortals and what will they be like. So many questions kept popping up in my head about this, maybe Reyna and I could check out the place.
"That is nice that your mom found a place away from Camp Half-Blood and Camp Jupiter, maybe we could visit it together" Isabelle smiled warmly and just decided to hug me out of nowhere.
"I would love that." Isabelle lets go of the hug and we both decide to leave the bleachers to meet with Reyna at the locker room. We move out of the stadium and look for the girl's locker room and as we step into the locker room, we see Hyun standing there as if she's been waiting for a while. Why is she here? I decided to take a fighting sense and move Isabelle behind me.
"Woah chill Chika, I'm not here to fight. I'm just here to pick up Isabelle, but you and Reyna are welcome to join us." I take a deep breath and I get out of my fighting sense, I'm not sure what Hyun is after but it seems that she is working for someone and her spying days could be done. I’m not even sure how Reyna will react to her ex-friend coming back to this school. Reyna stepped out of the locker room in black leggings and green shirt and she didn't look phase about Hyun standing out of the locker room with us.
"Hey Hyun, you right at the time. The girl behind Chika is Isabelle, the one you need to pick up." Reyna says in a neutral tone like she's talking to one of her soldiers.
“I’m glad that you are open to hearing me out. I know that you still hate me for being a spy, but I still want to atone and help demigods out. Ryan took me in, and he got me to be one of his recruiters to join his community to protect other demigods who are outcasts from both camps." Hyun explains while all three of us listen.
"Look Hyun, I'm glad that you have been calling me and letting me know that you are helping the settlement and that you are doing good. Look I'm open to forgiving you and moving on, but you still got a long road ahead." Reyna says while Hyun Listen. Wait, Reyna has been in contact with her without letting me know. I guess Reyna thinks that I hate Hyun or something.
"Reyna, have you been in contact with her during your stay at my house? I understand why you didn't tell me about Hyun because you thought I hated her but looking back at our fight, I hope you trust me enough to handle it. Hyun was just trying to Ben out, so I forgive you to Hyun as well." I say calmly. I'm not going to lie, it still kind of sucks that Reyna didn’t let me know that she was in regular contact with Hyun.
“You’re right Chika, I should have let you know about Hyun. To be honest I only got in contact with her only like 3 weeks ago. Next time Chika, I will not hide any secrets from you. I swear on the River Styx that I will not hide anything for you. Hyun has been helping me out with sorting my feelings.”
“Wait what feelings? Feelings about what?” I asked in a loud shouting voice, is she talking feelings about me? or about the school? or how she feels about the normal?
“Look I will tell you once Hyun takes us to Vancouver" I stand still, I'm so curious about what Reyna is feeling.
"Look lovers, you guys need to huddle around me before monsters ruin your moment" Isabelle just silently watched Reyna and me looking at each other, but all three of us hundle around Hyun and I felt my body disintegrating into the shadows. Man I don't miss this at all, I'm glad that we made it to Vancouver where we stood at the black gate. So this is the place where the other Titans live.
"Ok, lovers now you can talk about your feelings," Hyun shouted along with a bearing mischievous smirk. The black gate suddenly opened and Hyun took Isabelle's hand. Suddenly both disappeared into the shadows, what is Hyun up to? Does Isabelle know about her plan? Those two are a pain in the butt.
“We are safe to share our feelings now Chika, don’t worry Isabelle and Hyun are safe”
"It's not them I'm worried about Reyna, what do you mean by feelings?" I asked her while he walked side by side. I noticed Reyna was sharing glances with me and suddenly she took my hand and held it. We stopped walking and Reyna stood before me on one knee while she gently caressed my hand. Man, this is so awesome, Reyna is holding my hand. I finally got a shot with her, just be cool.
“Chika I want to know what you feel about me and I want you to be honest. Do not lie and hold back" Reyna says softly while she gently moves her hand around my knuckle and she looks on to in adoration.
"Do you want to know how I feel about you, Reyna? You might not like it, but I know I can't hide the truth any longer." Reyna closed both our hands together while she closed her eyes.
"Say it" Reyna quietly spoke while she bows before me, and she lovely caressed my knuckles. I felt my face flushed red; ok this is too much. I can't just be a blushing fangirl with Reyna anymore, I must tell her. This is it; I must do this. There is no backing down, my heart is pounding in anticipation, and I have to take a deep breath. This is so exciting, I got this.
“Reyna, I don’t have feelings for what a normal friend has towards one another or even a sister. When I first saw you, I found the best girl in the world. Every time, we train together for the quest, I enjoy listening to you about fighting techniques. Every time I see you smile for my cooking, it makes me want to cook more. You inspire me Reyna…to become stronger, that's why I haven’t lost my marbles sharing my body with the planet. I want to be your equal and I want to be your solace. I want to give you my love. Reyna, will you be my girlfriend?” Suddenly Reyna lifted me to the ground and just kissed me on the lips. This is heaven, this is a dream come true…Reyna is kissing me, this is the best day of my life. I finally did it, I confessed my feelings.
“I would be proud to be your girlfriend Chika. I cherished every minute with you. When I’m around you, my troubles are gone and all I feel is joy. You are my sun Chika." We both continue to kiss one another for long periods.
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If you had your say, how would you have wrote Liam and MC's ending? Or how would you have written the royal heir?
Thanks for the question, anon! Honestly if it were up to me changes would be made from the latter half of TRR2 onwards. A lot of the writing for Liam at this point focused pretty strongly on the MC, with little scope or necessity for her to be as supportive. This may have been fair, to an extent, during the time that the MC was still handling the plot that hurt her reputation, but once that is resolved the team never actually bothered to make her as supportive as she was to, say, Drake or (later, especially in TRH) Maxwell. (If someone is going to claim Liam didn't help the MC during her investigation I'm going to laugh. The MC actively chooses not to involve him and even then he's offering help whenever he has the opportunity).
For instance, by the end of TRR2 we have the subplot of Liam wanting to be different from his father, who he respected as a king even though he is disgusted by what Connie has done. In TRR3 that never becomes important - as a matter of fact Liam actually isn't given a consistent plot in TRR3! When he eventually loses his father in the attack at the Costume Gala, Liam is made to leave that grief behind and focus on the next task, with the MC only barely making an effort to even ask about his well-being. This is a pattern you will see throughout Book 3, and it bleeds even into TRH (where - even though Liam is faced with reveal after devestating reveal about his mother's death - little more than a second is spared by the MC to show concern for him). When you compare that to the number of times Liam is supportive and protective and at times offering to help - I have to honestly wonder if the MC as she exists in canon even cares.
So probably 75% of the changes I would want to make would have to do with the MC's imbalance in who she actively tries to help and who she barely makes an effort for (you will notice that the first category is filled with white characters). The remaining 25% would be about centering Liam in his issues (including exploring how his losses and the country's crises would affect him), ensuring that most parts of his plot and stories aren't given away as sympathy fodder to Creator's Pets, and absolutely making sure that the writing doesn't try to nerf him into a duke rather than a king just so the MC has more power - which is what happens subtly in the early books and more obviously in the latter books of TRH/F.
With regards to TRH I'm not even sure if I would want it to exist. I'm pretty certain the team was mostly just making shit up as they went - with all the retcons and absolute inconsistencies in characterization - so either I'd try to incorporate Eleanor's story (without the conspiracy angles) into TRR3, or just do without it and let the fandom headcanon the past to their heart's content tbh.
In terms of the pairing I've headcanoned - Liam and Esther connect to each other most because they are two such deeply repressed people, but have to reevaluate that during Esther's own pregnancy (which happens a year or two after their wedding) when they are confronted with their own and each other's traumas. So there is a reason why they won't delve too much into each other's feelings, but I absolutely see them finding other ways to support each other!
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Harrow the Ninth, Chapter 25
(Curious what I'm doing here? Read this post! For detail on The Locked Tomb coverage and the index, read this one!)
(Ninth House icon) In which Harrow cooks soup and spawns a fandom meme.
Harrow tattles to Teacher that she saw Ortus kissing Cytherea, she swears it by the Locked Tomb. He says she shouldn't swear by that in this particular instance.(1) She wants to say that he also broke her bone wards, that she hasn't slept in forty-eight hours, but she can't. John says the Saint of Duty is "legendarily unamorous". He suggests that Harrow do something normal. Learn to make a meal, read a book, take time to rest. In this moment, Harrow knows that he doesn't understand her.
Still, she can do something. She asks Ianthe how to make soup, and she practices several times.
On the third day post-confrontation, Ianthe is given an ultimatum by Augustine: five more days, and if she hasn't started using her sword arm properly by then, he's giving up on training her, because if he wanted pity-cases, he'd teach Harrow. Harrow doesn't even react, just looks at her knife, fork, and spoon, and tries to remember which one is for which purpose.(2)
After 126 hours without sleep, Harrow prepares supper for everyone. Everyone eats the soup, though Ianthe and August have complaints about the blandness(3) but Augustine is eager to try a different cook's perspectives after ten thousand years of the same. Mercy calls the soup mediocre, and Harrow says innocently that she followed a recipe. August asks if it was one of Cassiopeia's, and remembers a time early on when she accidentally removed part of a finger while cooking, and left it in, and didn't tell anyone. He tells Harrow to confess if something like that happens, before they eat. Harrow flinches, but tries to smile and play it off. When they finish, August asks what the meat is.
It takes Harrow a moment to find the word, as she works through the theorems in her head, but finally she comes to it.
"Marrow," you said.
The Saint of Duty exploded outward as your construct emerged from his abdomen. Your soup was watery and mediocre, as soup went, but as a delivery method for gelid explosives--marrow rendered through so much water as to not pass comment--it was perfect. Half a dozen arms shattered him in the soft electric light from the overhead panels. You let out your breath, and coalescing scythes destroyed intestines--lungs--heart. Then you fired upward, toward the brain.
And God said, "Stop."
The world slowed down.
Even August and Mercy stop halfway in the process of rising from their seats, but the shrapnel of the explosion of Ortus the First's torso does not.(4) God says it's been ten thousand years since he last ate human flesh and he didn't expect an encore. He asks for an explanation. Harrow says Ortus is trying to kill her, and here's God defending Ortus and not her. He asks how long since she slept. She admits to six days.
The Emperor of the Nine Houses stood.
The spell, whatever it had been, dropped like a white sun setting. Your body collapsed back into your chair. The construct [...] dwindled to a powder of pink dust. [...] The concatenation of Ortus the First's insides, laced and crocheted over the dinner table, sizzled away to a soft mist. Everyone's breath spewed from their lungs in one unholy gasp. Ortus's hands flew to his middle.
The Emperor dismisses everyone from supper except Mercy, and tells Ianthe to escort Harrow to bed. As they leave, Harrow decreasingly sure of reality, she overhears a snippet.
Behind you, the Kindly Prince was saying, in far more ominous tones than you had ever heard him use: "Six days. No sleep. She still manages a full skeleton commencement from diluted marrow. What else have you failed to see, Mercymorn-?"(5)
You were already at the door when her peevish response came: "But this is insane! She's only nine years old!"
The Saints of Duty and Patience stand in the corridor. If either wants to kill Harrow, she can't stop them. But, August just lights a cigarette, looking like he's seen a ghost, and passes it to Ortus, who raises it to Harrow in an unmistakable salute.(6)
=====
(1) Why shouldn't she swear by the Locked Tomb for this, in particular? Because it involves a corpse?
(2) Sleep deprivation setting in.
(3) The return of Harrow's dislike of strong flavours! I love this character trait, as I believe I've said before.
(4) This is a fascinating exertion and demonstration of his power as a God. We've seen necromancy do some big weird stuff, but nothing quite like this.
(5) So, Mercy wasn't exactly a willing supervisor to Harrow. She was asked, perhaps commanded, to examine and report.
(6) You gotta admit, you'd respect the hell out of someone who did what Harrow did. If only out of self-preservation.
#the locked tomb#tlt#harrow the ninth#htn#harrow the ninth spoilers#htn spoilers#harrowhark nonagesimus#emperor john gaius#ianthe tridentarius#augustine the first#mercymorn the first#ortus the first
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I posted 931 times in 2022
5 posts created (1%)
926 posts reblogged (99%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@buggachat
@kuerbis17
@saytr
@ouiladybug
@taulun
I tagged 922 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#miraculous ladybug - 565 posts
#bnha - 186 posts
#bakudeku - 127 posts
#ml spoilers - 117 posts
#bakery enemies au - 82 posts
#ml au - 77 posts
#strike back - 68 posts
#spoilers - 65 posts
#ladynoir - 51 posts
#rottmnt - 41 posts
Longest Tag: 96 characters
#now marinette thinks adrien knows she's ladybug and adrien thinks marinette knkws he's chat noir
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
Heyho everyone,
I'm looking for a My Hero Academia fanfic that I didn't bookmark 😭
I think the main pairing was Kiribaku? It was a future fic where Class A were all Pro Heroes and had their own children. And then I'm pretty sure their kids got kidnapped by a villain. So there was a lot of angst around them being worried for their kids.
It was a very long fanfic and the ending hit me pretty hard because Bakugou got hurt at the end when he went to save someome from inside a collapsing building.
It damaged his lungs so badly that he couldn't work as a hero anymore. So the ending was very bittersweet.
Anyways if this sounds familiar to you, I would be grateful for the help!
0 notes - Posted July 27, 2022
#4
The Wall Between Us | Miraculous Ladybug Animatic
youtube
New animatic just dropped 👀
Go give this some more likes, it's so good 😍
0 notes - Posted May 27, 2022
#3
America Chavez: *sees a wasp*
America Chavez: *screams*
America Chavez: *rips a hole into the multiverse to get away from it*
Very relatable tbh
4 notes - Posted July 11, 2022
#2
Is it just me or is it really disturbing how Gabriel always assigns the color white to Adrien??
Like, there are four separate photoshoots throughout the show where he's required to wear white clothes:
See the full post
49 notes - Posted February 13, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Listen. I love him.
75 notes - Posted January 25, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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Today totally sucks woke up to the most wonderful dream. I squeeze my pillow so tight. Wishing it was my man, I totally fell back asleep until 6:15, and I'm usually out of bed no later than 445. Out door on my walk by 515.
So, I'm trying to get my a** out the door not really wanting to because of the pain level. And I look at the smallest little crack out my window. And there's the big beautiful moon staring at me. The moon to me is like the ocean to Moana. She calls me!! got my a** out the door.
So another s***** moon picture. It was there beautifully as soon as I grabbed my phone the cloud started rolling and faster than I could take the pictures!
so f****** p***** off went to an emergency dentist appointment yesterday. Thinking possible root canal. But the dentist was confident that he could put a Crown and explained all the stuff to me that I didn't understand, pushing my tooth around, which is causing the pain. Well, he's the expert, so I trust him. Of course. Half my face. Is numb yesterday. It looks like I had a stroke. And by the time it finally wears off. I'm thinking to myself. Hit the wrong f****** tooth, but I'm no expert. So I tell myself, just give it a day. You're still just in a lot of had your mouth spread open Like a w****.... and I don't know I'm trying to come up with something funny there, hasn't come to me
So on my walk. Call the emergency line, again. My face hurts so f****** bad. This is so stupid if you want to wish some f*** up s*** on your worst enemies. Wish them some tooth pain. It's the f****** worst.
So now waiting for the office to call ehen they open.
I was thinking about my 2nd day on the new J O B today, and I'm actually really freaking excited. It's kind of funny because I've been a waitress for 25 years. People always ask me, especially from high school. You're still there. Yeah, I'm still there. The money is great, and I f****** love it. But now, this new job, going in on only my 2nd day. I don't think I've been more excited to go into work, you find new loves. Maybe it's just your love changes. I don't know. Maybe it's just a general consensus of my whole body finally at peace. I used to have an anxiety pill that I called my crazy pill that I took 3 times a day. And I'll tell you, yesterday I was driving on the freeway. And this double semi truck was next to me. Pouring down rain mist flying up everywhere, a year ago I would br white knuckles *** my life, and yesterday as I was passing, I caught myself in complete peace and calm. And it was actually f****** beautiful. I had to pause and reflect on the fact that I was driving next to a semi truck going 65 miles an hour in the pouring down rain barely able to see and not an ounce of anxiety that is f****** beautiful. Get your mind right and everything starts to change.
*Pause*
gotta call back from the dentist. I know exactly the lady that called, never really been a fan of her. She's not the most pleasant person. She's my age, maybe a little younger, absolutely beautiful, but she's always got a chip on her shoulder. The old me was always rude back. The new me. I just deal with it and try to remind myself She's probably got something going on in her life. That makes her just be an angry bitter woman. So I'm driving and as you should Do you pray for people. So I pray for that bitch to check her attitude
Thank you, Lord for this beautiful day. And thank you for my sobriety. Thank you for the Doctor's appointment. And hopefully the ability to get this f****** toothpain to go away. I pray for my family. I pray for strength to not freak the f*** out on my stupid F****** co-workers this weekend on my last couple days. And I pray for ****** at the dentist office for whatever she is going thru in her life. Please guide me to lead from my heart, guide my words my hands my feet for your will for me. Amen
***** super looooonnnng pause
One hour later (in my sponge Bob show voice)
But really 10 and a half hours 🤦♀️😬🤣
BRB
I'll just leave it at this 😁
#TBGLU ✌️🌙
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Fic Rec Bingo!!
So instead of Fic Rec Thursday, I thought I'd do something a little different this week and recommend 25 fics based on this bingo card (although it turned into 26, oops). I kept most of these as CM because that's my blog's focus, but due to the nature of the prompts, there are 5 Marvel (Irondad) ones & 1 Sherlock towards the end!
from @lightveils on twitter, but found posted on tumblr by @cywscross <3
1. A fic with a premise that shouldn't work but does
I never would've thought I'd enjoy a fic with Spencer as a little rebellious shit because it seems so ooc, but I loved this one!
las vegas kid by trashcanbarbie - 1.9k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Gambling, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Young Spencer Reid, Teenage Rebellion, Protective Aaron hotchner, Pre-Canon, Father-Son Relationship, Teenage Spencer Reid
JJ raises her eyebrows, “so, you're trying to say counting cards isn't cheating?”
“No,” he grins, boyish and charming, “it is.”
2. A fic you've reread several times
Discipline Changes by fullofcrazyness - 1.2k, 1ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, Past Child Abuse, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Comforting Hotch
Jack stopped and looked at his dad, finally seeing that his dad wasn’t actually angry. Concerned and relieved, but not angry. He was about to say something when he saw someone in the doorway, white as a sheet.
“Papa?”
3. A comfort fic
i'm always tired, but never of you by @iamrenstark - 2.2k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Derek, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Derek Morgan Needs a Hug, Men Crying, Gunshot Wounds, Blood and Injury
When Spencer figured it out, he was stepping out of the elevator on the bottom floor of Quantico, and he went to tell Derek he loved him like he did every day, but he froze up, because he was afraid he wouldn't hear it back.
(Or, Spencer thinks his boyfriend is falling out of love with him.)
4. A cathartic fic
Every Little Transgression by @58thacademic - 1.6k, 1ch, Gen, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sad Spencer Reid, Protective David Ross, Protective Derek Morgan, Mentioned Suicide Attempt, Spencer's Backstory, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-Con, Spencer Reid Needs a Hug, Episode: s03e16 Elephant's Memory
Ok so. Elephants memory was really good because we got Reid backstory. But I'm still annoyed that he didn't defend himself against Hotch. So this was born.
5. A fic you'd print and put on your bookshelf
One Call Away by GhostInTheBAU - 204k, 32ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Dubious Consent, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Domestic Violence, Rape Recovery, Referenced Past Drug Use, PTSD, Hurt Spencer Reid, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Flashbacks, Healing, Nightmares, Suicidal Thoughts, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Eventual Smut
When Reid's boyfriend attacks him, leaving him broken and bleeding, he calls the first person he thinks of for help. He calls the only person he really wants to see. He calls Hotch.
6. A fic you associate with a song
I associate this fic with The First Thing You See by Bruno Major. I think if you listen to the song, you'll easily see why <3
You Make Waking Up Worth It by @guccifloralsuits - 2.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Fluff, Minor Angst, Established Relationship, Morning Routines, Hurt/Comfort, Good Things Happen Bingo
“Morning sweetheart,” Derek says, pausing briefly to ruffle his hand gently through Spencer’s hair. The genius nuzzles into the touch but doesn’t reply. It’s too early for conversation, Morgan knows. Pretty boy may get up earlier than he does, but it takes the younger a lot longer to really wake up.
7. A fic that inspires you
This fic could have been in so many categories because I adore it, but I wouldn't have started writing Rain is a Chance to be Touched without this fic so it definitely belongs here.
Forgive Me For All I Could Not Become by @degrassi-fanatic - 105k, 20ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Canon Divergence, Getting Together, Angst, Case Fic, Confessions, Complicated Relationships, Near Death Experiences, Friends With Benefits, Smut, Miscommunication
In which Reid has always been good at hiding things. He hid his father's departure and his mother's illness from social services. He hid his addiction from his team. He hid his sexuality from the world. He hid his inappropriate feelings from his boss.
That is until he's bleeding out in Hotch's arms, in an abandoned church, in Oklahoma.
From there on out, Hotch and Reid learn to make a complete mess out of each other.
8. A fic that brought you on board a new ship
Even though it's unrequited, this was the first fic that really had me going !!! at Penemily <3
Another Wide-Eyed Girl by mallfacee - 2k, 1ch, Gen/Derek Morgan & Penelope Garcia, Penelope Garcia/Emily Prentiss (Unrequited), Coming Out, Internalised Homophobia, Derek Morgan is a Good Friend, Friendship, Gunshot Wounds, Episode: s03e08 Lucky
Derek Morgan is handsome and calls her “baby girl” and smiles at her like she’s the only girl in the room. Penelope Garcia knows she should be swooning and all she can think is that there must be something wrong with her not to react to a man like that giving her all this attention. Two years later she meets Emily Prentiss and understands.
9. A fic you wish could be a movie
Listen, I adore the soulmate trope, and an angsty moreid soulmate movie? Fucking sign me up right now
i need you now but i don't know you yet by @iamrenstark - 3.1k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt Derek Morgan, Mutual Pining, Soulmates, Hurt/Comfort, Buford Mention, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Together, Season 5
It goes like this; Spencer hasn't spoken to his soulmate since he was ten, didn't know their gender or their name or a single thing about them. Spencer's soulmate doesn't want him, and that's okay.
10. A fic that led to you making friends with the author
I'm doing two because fuck you that's why
This was one of the first fics I read of Adam's and I immediately fell in love with his writing! And I'm pretty sure that we ended up becoming friends after I rec'd it!!
Plum Sauce by @goldencatchflies - 1.5k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Jealousy, Platonic Morcia, Episode: s07e13 Snake Eyes
Garcia tells Spencer about what she thinks happened between her and Derek. He doesn’t seem too happy about it...
I read this from Syd and absolutely loved it, and like with Adam, we became friends from there! (I mean technically husband and wife, but, y'know. Semantics.)
You Belong With Me by @spencerspecifics - 11.4k, 1ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Song Fic, Getting Together, Angst with a Happy Ending, Pining, Fluff
A fluffy Moreid fic based on You Belong With Me by: Taylor Swift
11. A fic you associate with a place
This reminds me of a chilled Sunday afternoon on my old sofa in my living room, with the fire on in the background. I read it all in one sitting and loved every word <3
Metanoia by @makaylajadewrites - 39k, 16ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Canon Typical Violence, Implied Rape/Non-Con, Implied/Referenced Torture, Established Relationship, Near Death Experiences, Frostbite, Rape Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Spencer Reid, Drug Use, Eventual Smut, Eventual Happy Ending
Oh, Derek… He couldn’t stand the thought of him bursting in with SWAT in tow, gun at the ready, only to descend those creaky stairs and find his naked, bleeding body, vacated of life, crumbled on a red-stained mattress. The realization that he was going to die at the end of this was catching up to him, but maybe it would be better that way.
In which an unfortunate resemblance to an unsub's victims puts Reid right on his radar.
12. A fic that made you gasp out loud
Gasp out loud might be a *bit* of an overreaction, but this one took me on a rollercoaster and I loved every second of it (all of bau-gremlin's fics will do that to you tbh)
The End by @bau-gremlin - 3.1k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Graphic Violence, Stabbing, Blood and Injury, Temporary Character Death, Hurt Spencer Reid, Whump, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Aaron Hotchner, Sleepy Cuddles, Protective Spencer Reid
The famous interview with Chester Hardwick ... except Hotch and Reid get separated and Reid is left alone with Hardwick and a prison-made shiv.
13. A fic you found at the right time
You're Going to be Okay by fullofcrazyness - 2.6k, 1ch, Gen/Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Dark, Suicidal Thoughts, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt, Sad Spencer Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Depression, Protective Aaron Hotchner, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending
Spencer was no stranger to depression. His father leaving him, his mother’s episodes, being twelve years old in a Las Vegas high school. All of those things made him very familiar with the illness.
“I… I think I need some help.”
14. A fic that you would read a fic of
Chain Reaction by EloquentDossier - 42k, 16ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Alternate Universe, Texting, Dialogue-Only, Text Fic, Self-Esteem Issues, Fluff, Angst, Implied/Referenced Past Drug Use, Canon Divergence, Pining, Oblivious Aaron Hotchner, Happy Ending
A dialogue-only AU in which Hotch texts what he thinks is Rossi's new number but is actually the slightly eccentric stranger whom Hotch knows only as "Spencer." What follows is something neither man could have ever quite expected.
15. A fic that made you laugh out loud
The Bet by @degrassi-fanatic - 1.6k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Bets & Wagers, Humour, Fluff, Canon Divergence
“Fifty bucks says Hotch writes you up and sends you to sexual harassment sensitivity training.” she declares as she stares him down.
Without looking away from her, Reid takes out his own wallet and flips it open to pull out a fifty dollar before placing it down right next to Prentiss’s own money.
“Fifty bucks says Hotch will go out with me.”
16. A fic that gave you butterflies
The healing and dynamics in this one is just.... off the charts :')
Who Spencer Reid Loves by @blueberriesandbubbles - 36k, 11ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Abusive Relationships, Domestic Violence, Abuse, Hurt Spencer Reid, Mutual Pining, Rape Recovery, Healing, Fluff
Derek Morgan has been in love with the resident genius as long as he's known him. When Spencer enters a relationship with a mystery man, Derek is unhappy. He is even more unhappy when he meets this man. Spencer starts acting different and Derek knows something is wrong and he has a feeling its connected to the man Reid is dating.
17. A fic that embodies something you value in life
The utter and total love and devotion in this fic just punches me right in the gut every time I reread it
A Little Fall of Rain by jack_hunter - 4.3k, 2ch, Aaron Hotchner/Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Angst, Spencer Reid Whump, Autistic Spencer Reid, Major Character Injury, Secret Relationship, Team as Family, Dad Rossi
Morgan crept up behind the doctor and snatched the headphones off of his head, earning a yelp of a protest as he slipped them over his own ears.
“Les Mis?” Morgan asked with a quizzical look, “didn’t peg you as the musical type, Pretty Boy.” Spencer snatched the headphones back.
“I’ve always loved the theatre and I went to see Les Misérables with-... a friend last Friday.”
18. A favourite AU
The Curious Case of Dr. Reid by severaance - 37k, 10ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Transgender Character, Fluff, Trans Spencer Reid, Light Angst, Getting Together, Developing Relationship, Smut, Insecurity, Happy Ending (Warning for Homophobic & Transphobic Slurs)
"And your names for the order, please?" The barista asked, eyes flickering expectantly between the two before her.
"Spencer," she answered, although she was not talking to the barista. "I'm Spencer."
The man before her had the same idea. "Derek."
19. A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading
I stayed up one night and read pretty much all the marvel fics this author has written, but this was the last one that I simply could not resist. The next day wasn't pretty :/
The more you say, the less I know by forthenightisdarkandfullofterror - 13.9k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Temporary Amnesia, Protective Pepper Potts, Not Endgame Compliant, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Blood and Violence, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump
Tony wakes up from snapping with amnesia and for the life of him can't remember the kid hanging around, claiming to be 'just an intern'. Feelings get hurt.
20. A fic that made you feel seen
heavy in my bones by hopeless_hope - 4.4k, 1ch, Gen/Irondad, Chronic Pain, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Peter Parker, Whump, Father-Son Relationship, Dad Tony, Worried Tony Stark, Angst, Chronic Illness, 5+1 Things
Five times Peter lied to someone about his chronic pain, and one time he told the truth and got the help he needed.
21. A fic you love without knowing the source material
(I mean this is literally all marvel fics but I'll rec this one because I loved it so much)
the locker room by searchingforstars - 15.5k, 3ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, Hurt Peter Parker, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Mental Health Issues, Misunderstandings, Arguing, Miscommunication, Crying, Whump, Angst with a Happy Ending, Rape Recovery
Peter's falling apart and he doesn't know how things will ever go back to normal again after Ryder.
22. A fic you've gushed about IRL
Genuinely, this fic is better than most published fiction I've read...
The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - 220k, 37ch, Gen/Irondad, Hurt/Comfort, Sexual Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Physical Abuse, Alternate Universe, Hurt Peter Parker, Foster Care, Identity Reveal, Slow Build, Disordered Eating, Homelessness
Ben and May divorced before Peter’s parents died, so when Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.
So he leaves. Simple.
Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help. Peter isn’t about to turn down an opportunity to fight alongside Tony Freaking Stark, but he also isn’t going to let his hero know that his recruit is a fifteen-year-old homeless dropout. So they strike a deal. Peter will help Tony. In return, the mask stays on. And that’s when things get complicated.
23. A fic you still remember many years later
The Transport Series by ancientreader - 135k, 2 works, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Backstory, Canon Drug Use, Childhood Sexual Abuse, Physical Disability, AU, Important Character Death, First Time, Developing Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, BDSM, Humour, Fluff
How to become a consulting detective. // Jim's lessons are hard to unlearn.
24. A fic with a line or two that you've memorised by heart
"He has held up buildings and nuclear bombs and whole entire countries on his back. Peter’s body is the heaviest thing he’s ever held."
when my body won't hold me anymore (where will I go) by @madasthesea - 4.4k, 2ch, Gen/Irondad, Temporary Character Death, Angst, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, Hurt Peter Parker, Crying, Forehead Kisses, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Medical Inaccuracies, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling
But he knows. He knows. He can feel it. Peter’s dead.
Peter Parker watches as Tony carefully arranges his limbs on a cot.
“Mr. Stark,” he tries for the dozenth time. No one hears him.
25. Free Space
And to round it off, we have to celebrate the fic that really and truly welcomed me into the CM fanfic world...
Chanel by @4x24 - 24k, 7ch, Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid, Getting Together, Spencer Wears Makeup, Friends to Lovers, Light Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Typical VIolence, Humour, Fluffy Ending, Pining, Smut Heavy
Penelope mentions offhandedly one night that she thinks Spencer might look good in makeup.
Spencer takes the suggestion to heart.
Derek likes the new look - and Spencer - more than he probably should. (Season 4)
#fic rec bingo#fic rec friday#criminal minds#sherlock#irondad#cm#johnlock#moreid#irondad and spiderson#hotchreid#penemily#derek morgan#spencer reid#aaron hotchner#penelope garcia#emily prentiss#sherlock holmes#john watson#tony stark#peter parker#irondad fic rec#moreid fic rec#hotchreid fic rec#penemily fic rec#criminal minds fic rec#criminal minds fanfiction#moreid fanfiction#hotchreid fanfiction#penemily fanfiction#irondad fanfiction
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Gimme Shelter - 3
Chapter 3 anyone? Well...here it comes. I hope you enjoy it. If so, please leave me a comment, like or replog. 💜
Previous part -> Nashi’s Masterlist
Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (Kat Spencer)
Words: ~3.1k
Summary: Henry has to deal with a personal crisis and he finds shelter with his old rugby mate Sam and his sister Kat. She used to be Henry’s best friend a very long time ago. Will they be able to become friends again or maybe even more? Chapter 3: Henry tries to get closer to Kat but there are various obstacles.
Warnings: RPF, mention of mental health issues and panic attacks, language
No beta! All mistakes are mine. English is not my mother tongue so expect bad grammar and wrong spelling.
Disclaimer: I don’t know the real Henry Cavill, this is pure fiction and nothing more
Credits: Pics for the moodboard from Pinterest. Face claims: Kat = Jennifer Connelly, Eli = Stephen James
Taglist (please let me know if you want to be added or removed)
@lunedelorient @inlovewithhisblueeyes @willkatfanfromasia @hell1129-blog @mis-lil-red @agniavateira @kebabgirl67 @omgkatinka @legendarywizarddetective @summersong69 @taebfada @xxxkatxo @madbaddic7ed @artandotherdelights @sweetlybigdragonn @notabronte @littlefreya @luclittlepond @eldarwen333 @meowpurrbooks @marantha @rn7rocks
~~~~~~~~
3
I should've known better than to cheat a friend
And waste the chance that I'd been given
So I'm never gonna dance again
The way I danced with you, ohh
Never without your love
From Careless Whisper written by Andrew J. Ridgeley / George Michael
Henry was wrong thinking their conversation was the end of Kat's distant behaviour. Sure, it got better but she was still acting aloof and it was clear as day that she still couldn't see him as a friend. She treated him like a guest. Always polite and friendly but keeping her distance and neutrality. And that was the reason why he was really looking forward to tonight. It was Saturday and they were going to visit the city festival that took place every summer and that was a big event in the little town of St. Ives. Henry, Kat and Sam with his girlfriend Lydia, who was a delicate and very pretty black woman with an astonishing amount of energy, always in a good mood and wearing her heart on her sleeve. Henry immediately got why Kat liked her so much, when he met her for the first time a day after he moved in. She was funny and very smart, a real tough cookie but caring and warm-hearted, too. So it was going to be just the four of them and of course he was hoping for a chance to come a little closer to Kat in the relaxed atmosphere of the public party with some music and drinks. Maybe she was able to loosen up around him there.
When they arrived the festival was in full swing. The city was crowded with tourists and locals, smiling faces everywhere and the friends were in a good mood, too. Sam and Lydia were standing arm in arm and Kat was sure her brother had finally found his perfect match. She'd never seen him so in love before and she was genuinely happy for him. Henry went to a stall and came back with four glasses of beer, after he had taken a few selfies with some fangirls. Kat was wondering how he felt about this. About the fact that he got recognized although he was in St. Ives to escape all the media hype and all the pressure that it had put on him in the last years but he didn't seem to care. Maybe he's so used to it that it doesn't bother him, Kat thought, or he's just not showing it. "Cheers." Henry said, smiling at them, holding Kat's gaze a little longer than usual which made her nervous. "Cheers." They answered in unison and Kat started to look around. There were various stalls selling all kinds of stuff, from kitsch to unique art and she even spotted some carousels. The band that had been playing was just leaving the stage right in front of the harbour.
"Isn't that Elijah?" Sam nudged her and nodded at a stall a few meters away.
"Who?" Lydia craned her neck to take a look. "The inked guy?"
"Shit. Yes, that's him." Kat made a face and Henry turned around. There was only one inked guy. He was tall and buff, tattooed from head to toe - literally. He was young, 24 or 25 maybe, and very handsome, Henry had to admit that. Piercing blue eyes, a sharp jawline and high cheekbones, his black hair worn in a stylish undercut, dressed in ripped jeans and a simple white T-shirt.
"This is your fuck boy?" Lydia blurted out. Kat shushed her with an awkward grin. "He was my fuck boy. Past tense."
Henry felt his stomach twist in a strange mix of jealousy, anger and protectiveness.
"Damn, girl. You never mentioned he is that hot. I see why you didn't say no to him."
"Excuse me?" Sam looked at his girlfriend with a frown. "You don't even like tattoos?" Lydia laughed out loud and kissed him. "You're right, baby, he's gross."
"There he comes." Henry said looking at Kat who rolled her eyes.
"Heaven help." She muttered under her breath.
"Kat, good to see you." Ink guy hugged her before he eyed her up and down. "You look great."
"Hi. Thanks. You look good too." She smiled at him and there was an awkward pause until she cleared her throat to introduce him.
"Um, yeah, you know my brother Sam and this is his girlfriend Lydia." She pointed at them. "And here we have our new housemate Henry." She nodded at him and Henry flinched. Housemate. Not friend, just housemate.
"Guys, this is Elijah. We used to do Yoga together."
Elijah glanced at her before he put on a lewd smirk. "Yeah, let's call it Yoga." He raised his eyebrows and gave Kat a sexy wink.
"Speaking of which. I really miss our long and intense...Yoga exercises." He grinned. "I think about you a lot to get into the right mood, whenever I do Yoga...all alone. On my own. Almost every night."
Kat raised an eyebrow and returned his flirtatious smile. "I'm sure you don't have problems finding a new Yoga partner."
"No, I don't. I've tried it with a few. But it's hard to find someone as good as you. As flexible and experienced and passionate...about Yoga."
Kat was speechless for a moment and Elijah stepped closer and whispered loud enough for everyone to hear. "Maybe we can do a session tonight."
Kat looked him in the eyes, biting her bottom lip. "Yeah. Maybe. If I'm in the mood for Yoga later."
He grinned. "See you on the dance floor? The DJ's gonna start his show in a few."
"Sure." Kat nodded.
"Great. See ya, guys." He waved at them and strolled away with a swagger that annoyed Henry.
When he was out of earshot Sam laughed out loud.
"Fuck, sis. Did the guy just tell you, you're his wank-rag?"
Kat knitted her brows with an embarrassed grin. "Shut up, okay? I don't wanna hear anything about this. This conversation never happened." She blushed furiously and Henry would have loved to ask her about the story behind all this but he kept his mouth shut. It was none of his business. He was just the housemate.
*****
It took Henry another four glasses of beer to find the courage to ask her about Mr. Ink anyway.
"So what's going on with you and...Elijah?" Henry faked nonchalance by giving her just a quick glance and a tiny smile.
"Nothing." Kat didn't even look at him. Instead she watched the dancing crowd in front of the stage.
"I see." Henry tried to shrug it off and took another sip of his beer. He knew he shouldn't drink so much but it helped him to loosen up.
"Do you really think it's good for you to drink so much when you're still on your meds?"
Henry wasn't surprised by her question. She had always taken care of him. She had always been his voice of reason.
"No. Actually I know it's a very bad idea."
"But you do it anyway. Some things never change." Kat turned to him, took his glass out of his hands and replaced it with her glass of coke. He accepted it with a lopsided grin and the look they shared when their hands touched for a second made his heart flutter.
"I had a fling with him last year." Kat finally explained. "We went to the same Yoga class and we started to...well...have sex. It only lasted a two months."
"Why did it end?"
"It got a little out of hand. Eli wanted more than booty calls but I didn't. I just wanted casual fucks…"
Henry looked at her with a frown. Of course she misinterpreted his expression.
"Don't you dare judge me, Cavill…" Her voice was tense.
"I don't judge you, Kat. Casual sex can be great, I know that. I'm just surprised. I mean, you used to be the romantic type…"
"Romance is dead, Henry." She tried to temper her words with a smile but he knew that look that crossed her eyes. A mixture of defiance and sadness, that indicated a topic that worried her though she wouldn't want to talk about it. "Kat…." He touched her arm and she flinched as if his hand was burning her. Kat gave Henry an apologetic smile. Shaking her head she took his hand and gave it a quick squeeze. "I'm fine." The way he looked at her -his head cocked, his gaze intense- made her skin tingle and so she quickly averted her eyes.
She constantly had to remind herself of their conversation a few days ago. She was willing to give it a try, to be friends with him again but she just wasn't able to shake off the past. And the mixed emotions she had just thinking about him weren't helpful as well. She was attracted to him more than she wanted to be and at the same time she couldn't stand being too close to him. Henry opened his mouth to say something but before he was able to do so Lydia took Kat by the hand and dragged her away. "Come on, Kat. Let's dance. I love this song."
Elijah found Kat on the dance floor after just five minutes. She seemed to be hesitant at first about dancing with him but after another five minutes she had given in and now Henry was watching them getting closer with every song, moving to the rhythm, Elijah was holding her very close, rubbing his body against hers and it looked pretty hot.
"The guy's got moves, huh?" Sam nudged Henry with a grin.
"Yeah." He couldn't help but roll his eyes.
"If you're so annoyed by him, why don't you do something about it?"
Henry looked at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"
"I mean you can go on watching them dry humping on the dancefloor with hungry eyes or you can go dance with Kat yourself."
Henry let out a snort.
"I don't think your sister wants to dance with me."
"You'll never know if you don't try."
Henry just grunted and tried to shrug it off but Sam didn't want to let him off the hook.
"Just go and dance with her."
"I don't know."
"Oh come on, Cavill. Don't be such a sissy."
"Where's the point, Sam. She hates me."
Sam shook his head. "She doesn't hate you."
"But she doesn't like me either." Henry wasn't convinced.
"She likes you more than she dislikes you." Sam replied cryptically. "Now, come on. Go and put this prick in his place." Sam took Henry's glass and gave him a little shove. "Go." Henry stumbled forward. "Go." Sam repeated. Henry rolled his eyes. "Fine. She thinks I'm an idiot anyway. Not a problem if I make a fool of myself."
Henry made his way through the dancing crowd and when he finally stood right beside them Kat noticed him with a surprised smile. She stopped moving and Elijah gave him an angry glance. "Sorry, but I have to cut in."
"You do?" Kat asked sarcastically. "I do. Sorry, mate." He took Kat's hand and pulled her away from Elijah.
"Fancy a dance?" He indicated a bow and gave her a wink.
Kat grinned and gave Eli an apologetic shrug before turning to Henry again.
"Why not. Show me your moves."
And so they danced. Not as sexy and close as she had danced with Mr. Ink but still. She seemed to be happy and enjoying his company and that was all Henry was asking for. He wasn't the best dancer but it felt okay after the first awkward moments and Kat even touched him from time to time. After the third uptempo song the DJ played a slow track and he pulled Kat closer. She hesitated for a brief moment but then she wrapped her arms around his neck and he held her by her waist. They swayed to the slow music, their bodies not touching but their eyes met and Henry was wondering if Kat's heart was racing as fast as his.
Kat's heart was indeed racing. So many years ago this had been all she'd ever wished for. To dance with him to a romantic song. To feel his hands on her body. To be close to him. But those teenage dreams belonged to the past. She didn't believe in the idea of everlasting love anymore. She had given up on waiting for 'the one' a long time ago. And even if she had this tiny spark of hope for finding true love remaining in the darkest corners of her mind, it couldn't be Henry, could it? Her heart and mind screamed no. No, woman, he broke your heart. Don't get too close to him. You're going to burn your fingers. Again. He's not the one for you. But her body said yes. Go for it, woman. You're attracted to him. You've yearned for him 22 years, now get what you're craving.
Kat started to panic when Henry's gaze got more and more intense. She felt like drowning in his ocean blue eyes and burning up in his body heat at the same time. She knew that warm, fluttery feeling in her belly that was caused by his smile and his touch too well and she wouldn't let this happen again. He might have tricked her once but she wouldn't let him trick her twice. No fucking way.
Kat let go of his neck and took a step back and he knew their dance was over. Elijah gladly took over again and all Henry could do was to quit the field.
****
When Kat came home the next morning she found Sam in the kitchen making scrambled eggs and bacon.
"Morning. That smells heavenly."
"Morning. Will be done in a minute if you want some."
"I'd love to. I'm starving."
Sam turned around with a smirk.
"Really? No morning-after-breakfast at Elijah's?"
Kat rolled her eyes. "I didn't want to stay any longer, it just makes things awkward."
"I see. Is this going to be a regular thing again? You and your toyboy?"
"No." Kat shook her head. "Definitely not. Where are Lydia and Henry?"
"Lydia has a bad hangover and Henry….well, I guess he's still asleep. He didn't feel well last night." Sam turned around and gave his sister a plate filled with eggs, bacon and a bagel. Kat looked at him with a frown. "How's that? He was fine when I left. Did he drink too much?"
"No, no, he just had water after you scolded him for drinking." Sam winked at her with a grin. Getting serious he sat down and looked at her. "He had some kind of panic attack. Just freaked out…"
"God, Sam. That's awful. What happened?" Kat looked at her brother with a stunned expression on her face.
"I don't really know. It began with some people that recognized him. He took photos with them, it didn't seem to be a problem but then more and more fans came and surrounded him and he did his best to be nice and fulfill all their requests, he signed shirts and took selfies, one girl wanted his signature on her bra, it was crazy and soon got out of hand. I could see the panic in his eyes although he did his best to hide it. He was so polite and kind although a drunk guy, I guess the boyfriend of one of his fans, started to insult him. But at some point his face turned so pale and his hands started to shake, I was afraid he was about to pass out."
"Oh my god." Kat was really worried, Sam could easily tell by the deep frown and the knitted brows. "What did you do?"
"I got him out of there. Lydia calmed down the remaining fans and told them he had the flu or something and we went home."
"What did Henry say? Was it his first panic attack?"
"He didn't say much, didn't really want to talk about it. He went straight to bed. It was horrible, Kat."
"Shit."
"Yeah. I thought I'd bring him breakfast later. Or maybe you want to do it?"
Sam looked at Kat while he was eating a piece of bacon.
"I don't know, Sam."
"He trusts you, Kat."
"You are his friend."
"I'm his mate, that's a difference."
"No, it's quibble. You and him are closer than me and him. Whatever you call it." Kat arched an eyebrow and gave her brother an annoyed glance.
"Oh, come on,you know how it is, Kat. Guys don't talk about emotional stuff like this…"
"Maybe I don't want to talk about emotional stuff with him either."
Sam gave her a knowing look. "Are you afraid you're gonna fall for him again?"
Kat blinked repeatedly, speechless for a moment.
"What are you talking about?" She crossed her arms in front of her chest. Sam leaned back in his chair. "Look, Kat, I know I was busy with my own love life at school but I wasn't completely blind. I know you were in love with Henry. You always denied it but it was obvious to me. I knew you were lying when you said he's just a friend to you and I know that your friendship ended out of the blue when Hen and Poppy became a thing. So it's not so hard to draw the conclusion that he broke your heart and that you're afraid that history is going to repeat itself."
Kat chewed on her bottom lip but she didn't say a word. She just shrugged and pulled off pieces of her bagel absent minded.
"I think he needs you, Kat. He needs what the two of you had at school. That deep, unconditional kind of friendship. I can't give him that, we're not close enough, but you can."
She looked at Sam with a frown.
"I'm not so sure. It's not that easy. What we had back then is gone."
"I'm sure it's not. It's just buried under your past. You can dig it out."
Kat closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with a deep sigh. "I'm not a therapist."
"Good, because he has a therapist. What he doesn't have is someone who knows him like you do. Someone he can trust."
"Alright. I'll do it. I'm gonna bring him his breakfast and see if he wants to talk but I'm going to blame you if this ends in disaster."
~~~~~~
tbc
#rpf#henry cavill rpf#henry cavill#cavillry#henry cavill fanfic#henry cavill fandom#henry cavill x ofc#friends to lovers#slow burn#Spotify
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If you are on twitter, please retweet this:
https://twitter.com/ASwiftie00/status/1334245577933148164?s=19
Dear #Swifties,
I'm new on tumblr, and I really don't know how to use it.
I know you are the best supporters of the music industry and I'm here to ask your help.
I'm fighting with a crippling depression, that due this covid situation just got worse.
I'm at my lowest, I truly don't know if I will make it through this time.
I always dreamed to talk to Taylor, since I was a teenager. She is the only one that make me feel like I do fit in this world.
I've created this account because I know she is very active here, and I'm trying to reach her with this part of my story.
You can read everything below.
I didn't write any personal information because I don't want this to be seen by my family or somebody that can recognise me.
I don't want upset anyone.
I know that everyone hope to meet or chat with her, and so you are probably wondering why you have to share this here.
You're totally right, maybe it's a stupid idea to ask you this, but I haven't anything left in my pocket to fight this situation, and you're my only hope right now.
Thank you.
#taylor #swift
*******************************************
Dear Taylor,
I keep writing and deleting this, over and over again.
I feel so dumb to write my personal story here, but this truly is my last chance to feel better and try to overcome this giant monster called depression.
I genuinly don't know if I can make it through this year. It's the worst period of my entire life and i don't even know if it's worth living this hell anymore.
I know you have millions of supporters (that probably write you every single day, and they are all better fans than I am, that's for sure) but I know that you proved, time after time, to be so down to earth and to use your time to read your fans messages.. so, in this moment, I'm just trying to share a part of my story with you.
You are the one that make feel understood, since I was like 13teen.
I'm so sorry if my English isn't very good but I'll do my best.
I'm not very active on social media , because I'm very shy when I have to talk about myself.. but If this could work, I must do it.
I will try to send a letter, If I can find the strength to mark this feeling on paper.
**IF I'M WRITING TO SOMEBODY FROM HER STAFF, PLEASE JUST LET THIS MESSAGE REACH TAYLOR**
I'll try now to resume, because I don't want to bother you too much.
This has been a crazy year so far, and the all the time I spent by myself during the lockdown didn't help at all.
This situation brought me back to childhood.
I spent a lot of my days back and forth in hospitals, due to my allergies.
I had to wear a mask all the time I wanted to go outside to avoid severe allergic reaction (that's why this Covid thing awakened some hurting memories)
I didn't have real friends back then, 'cause I've spent most of the summers at home, watching other kids playing around, from my window, or from the windows of my classroom.
It was so hard to make new friends, because the only thing that other kids saw was my mask.
I was the masked kid.
I was the strange kid.
I couldn't play with them.
Everytime I tried to play with them, the only thing I heard was "oh you are ill , I don't wanna be like you so stay away".
This situation made me start to write things in my personal diary.
I wrote small sentences, as a kid, and that was the only thing I could do alone inside an empty classroom during all summer.
This situation continued for many years.
I wasn't the cool kid before, I wasn't the cool guy after.
The only things that let me enjoy those days were writing and listening to your songs.
I started to listen to your music thanks to my English teacher. She was a fan of folk and country music and she gave me a pic in which you were singing near a lake (I still have that photo somewhere, I strongly remember the white banner with your name written in red on it) and told me to listen to the cd she gave me that day.
I immediately fell in love (I think I still have a crush on you, I'm sorry).
I loved your album. I loved your voice. I loved the lyrics.
I remember having a "test" in school: each one of the class had to write their favourite lyrics and let the others guess the song.
If the someone guessed It, We could play the cd.
I chose Love Story and I translated it in Italian.
The class guessed the song, and I played it.
After the lunch break I went back to my desk and I saw some bullies that were breaking my cd-album and they started to laugh at me because I loved your music an I loved writing poems.
I was a boy so I was a loser because I enjoyed those things.
That felt terrible, but I continued to love your songs even more .
Those were my inspiration to write and to study english.
I felt so good when I listened to your album and this still happens.
Then I went to a private high-school.
Nothing changed, I still was the nerd guy that always got good grades and I have to say that the first year was quite good, but the second year was the start of the apocalypse.
I choose that school because two girls that I knew from childhood went there.
One of the cool new guys started to spread a fake "news" about me.
He said to everyone that I was the boyfriend of one of the two girls that I mentioned before.
So he was the cool guy and one of the girls believed him and told me to f*** myself.
The other girl was her best friend, so you could imagine by what happened next.
After 14 year spent together, I was nobody.
I didn't have "friends" in that class anymore.
I didn't say hello to anybody for 4 years, and nobody would say anything to me.
Nobody to talked with me.
That's great when you're a teenager.
I hated to wake up every morning.
I had an eating disorder, I lost like 22pounds in less than a month. Got hospitalized twice. I kept vomiting for 3 years, every single morning before school.
During that time I only talked with one of my cousins, who lived like 2 hours by car from me.
He was older than me but he always tried to help.
He knew that I loved to write poems so he started to give me guitar lessons.
I made it through a lot of things thanks to him.
I'm sorry, It's hard for me to write this part of the story.
I still get emotional when I think about this.
On the 10TH of December 2013 (some days after his birthday) we received a phone call from his mother: She warned us that he didn't return home after the last working shift.
I wrote a message to him like 3 hours prior to that phone call.
Never had the opportunity to get a reply again.
This year is the seventh year that he is missing.
That destroyed me.
I felt empty.
I felt like nothing couldn't help me.
I still feel that everytime I care about someone in my life, it will disappear someday.
This have happened several other times.
You know when ignorants say that men don't cry, is real bullshit. Men cry. I cried a lot.
I wrote so many poems , lyrics, thoughts in that period of time, that I destroyed my hands.
That was the only way to close my eyes and let me reach another reality because the real one was way too much for me.
Be a sensible man in this world is somehow a curse.
All these things made me afraid even to hug someone 'cause I feel I'm too ugly or just to scared to be refused.
I will stop here my story, but there's so much more to tell.
I make it through all of these things and memories because I keep dreaming that one day I could meet you and we could talk together.
Dreaming about the fact I could spend a day with you made me find the power to battle my depression.
I'm 25 now and this year I'm not dreaming anymore.
I was going to start again university, I wanted to get a degree in marketing and have the chance to live in the us.
For years I believed that I would make it and hopefully be part of your marketing team.
I'm so stupid. All these years I kept dreaming to avoid pain.
I wanted to pursue my passion and continue to write lyrics but all I was doing was putting myself in unrealistic realities.
This covid situation made everything clear.
When everyone had someone to facetime (or video call) I was alone.
When everyone had someone asking them "how are you?" I only had myself looking in the mirror saying: "Will I ever feel better?"
I've never been the one for anybody, and I think I'll never be.
I won't be the one among all your fans to realize his dream.
Nobody likes me, and I'm exposing myself once again just because I want the opportunity to smile at something that could happen to me.
I'm tired to smile only for others best moments.
I've always seen the sun through a window.
I want to feel happy.
I want to burn my face with the sun.
I'm so sick of hiding my pain,
sick to cry when I'm alone in my car before going to work,
sick to let my eyes rain on my pillow every night.
I'm sick to say to my mother that I'm fine, just because I don't want to make her feel bad.
It's not her fault.
She is battling with a degenerative autoimmune disease, why I should put other weight on her shoulders?
I didn't give up to my weakness before because I don't want to hurt her.
I always say to her that soon she will feel better, that's why your song It's stuck in my head.
But when she won't be here anymore, how I can go through all of that?
I don't even know if will ever get better for me.
Will this pain ever stop?
Sometimes it's so hard to live and so easy to die.
Hope that my dream to spend some time with you can become true.
Thank you for everything, you gave me the strength to go on for many years.. But this time is so hard to put on my armor and continue this battle.
But is this even worth if thy I try to surround myself with people and I always feel lonely?
D.
@taylorswift @taylornation @jackleopards-thedolphinclub
#swifties#taylor swift#folkore#music#ts spoilers#lover taylor swift#taylornation#swiftified13#day 13#pop music#books and libraries#writers#history#musicians#quotes#loneliest#love taylor#hopes and dreams
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If you are so against theft, why you friends with gabriel tho? There has been HOW MUCH evidence against him? I don't know, Newt. Seems Pretty Sus To Me. SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE TRYING TO TAKE THE HEAT OFF THE CURRENT SHIT AGAINST GABE I'M JUST SAYING-
Hi kids, first of all! His name is GABRIEL! Calling him not his name, when he doesn’t like it! Is just like misgendering!
Anyway! Lets sit down for this! I was waiting for you (or maybe it was someone else!) to come back for this!
Did you know that its possible, as an adult human being, to disagree with everyone in a situation?
Did you also know.... That there’s a difference.... Between using the same concepts? And OUTRIGHT TRACING SOMEONE’S ART?
Did you know...... That there was more to the story... than bo’s callout post made it out to be?
Did you know there was a third whole design in the mix?
Also before we get started I want to state that as a 25 year old man, who has been in multiple different art communities. You cannot steal a concept. You cannot steal a concept. YOU CANNOT STEAL A CONCEPT. There are 800 trolls with white porcelain masks! There are 800 trans masc jadeblood trolls! These are all concepts!
Iridescence as a concept! Is a CONCEPT.
Opalescence is a concept that is similar but different to iridescence.
ANYWAY!!!
LETS SIT DOWN FOR THE WHOLE STORY BECAUSE BOY HAVE I HAD ENOUGH OF BEING ASKED WHERE I STAND ON THIS!
Okay! So! Here’s the thing (the thing! Which I got from someone who WASN’T either Bo or Gabriel! Surprise! There’s AN OUTSIDE PARTY!)
Bo made an iridescent adopt! Gabriel wanted the adopt! But Liam bought the adopt first! Whatever! That’s the end of it of whatever that is! Bo and Gabriel stopped being friends in this time, i think, but that’s not my fucking business because i’m 25 years old and other people’s interpersonal problems aren’t my fucking business!!
Its reasonable here, then, to like the concept behind a design right? And you you probably think “oh this is where gabriel ripped off cosmit, right?” and you’d be wrong!
We’re going to cut to my favorite third party, a loving friend and wonderful person... Echo! Who makes adopts! As a source of income!
Who was like! Hey party people! Suggest themes for me to use in my next batch! of adopts!
and now you think... oh... here comes opal.. WRONG AGAIN!
So what happened was... gabriel had been like “i saw this cool iridescent design, and the concept was really cool! maybe you should do an opalescent design!” and echo was like
oh fuck yeah i’d love to do that!
and so.... they did.
Now i’m sure you’re thinking..... Oh it’s Opal!
Except. Actually it wasn’t.
The opalescent (NOT iridescent, they aren’t the same if you were wondering!) troll Echo original made? One of the ones that bo linked in their call out? Isnt opal.
It’s the original opalescent design that echo made! Which they.. Kept! That’s their Magiro!
This is magiro on the end! This is the original design!
this image? the girl on the bottom? THATS FUCKING MAGIRO. THAT IS ART. FROM ECHO’S BLOG. OF ECHO’S CHARACTER.
which looks..... NOTHING like...
this absurdly small screenshot i also pilfered from bo’s callout post! Of cosmit!
Who’s sprites I will not post out of respect for Liam because I have not asked him if I can use it! But the original is necessary so it’s here anyway.
(I have permission from Echo to post the originals here! FYI!)
Now because they ended up keeping Magiro! They said! I’ll make you one for free with the same general concept! And lo!
Opal was born! This was the design that Echo did for gabriel! This is opal! As you can see... She looks nothing like cosmit! Except for the fact that she has
dark skin
is meant to be black coded
and has a similar theme.
she even has a nose rings You can see it under her glasses!
and so these are the sprites Gabriel made based off the design ECHO made him
‘
Now! Here’s where it gets hinky!
Here’s where I don’t agree with either party!
Bo and Liam were upset that Gabriel (and Gabriel alone) apparently ripped off Opal! I don’t see it, and I don’t think you can steal a concept either! But whatever theyre adults they can make their own conclusions!
Now where I don’t agree with Gabriel is... Gabriel started making posts (after being told he was accused the first time, idk by who) about Opal being the BEST opalescent troll in the community! Which is fucked up! It’s immature and I was upset with him for it! And then it spiralled a little!
Gabriel got a call out blog made about him for reasons OTHER than opal!
The callout blog tried to bring up opal!
Liam made a public statement that he and gabriel were handling it privately! And I thought that was going to be that on that!
or was it!
So in private, and bo’s “call out” will confirm this, the whole party eventually agreed that Gabriel would be making edits to opal to make her theme different instead of white opalescent blah blah, this all is NOT my business and frankly I don’t fucking care.
My problem comes in when it become not enough for bo that Gabriel to make changes to or stop using Opal altogether
and started... Boxing gabriel into a new solution? Because Gabriel apparently wasn’t bending over backwards enough? I don’t fucking know! It’s not my fucking business!
DURING a time of crisis. DURING. BO DID THIS WHEN GABRIEL WAS ALREADY IN A POSITION TO HAVE A HARD TIME SAYING NO. THIS IS FUCKED UP NO?
But! I don’t know how you can post screenshots of you saying “You’re having a bad time because of this tropical storm about to rock your shit and I hate you and want you to go away Take this Hilariously Low sum of money for a character with tons of art and effort” and then think you’re like. In the right here? Bo admits they were stupid angry and that they cancelled the deal on a whim IN Their call out post! And then turned around, in their anger, and started threatening gabriel ! That’s literally blackmailing him! Because he wasn’t doing what they wanted! it’s all literally in the post! I read the whole thing!
Gabriel came back with a counter, which was getting rid of Opal altogether including making the replacement in the story NOT black coded, NOT a woman (explicitly stated to be transmasc for the new concept), No piercings etc.
Bo then, later AGAIN during a time of Financial and real life crisis (their confrontation was sent within HOURS of the announcement of another hurricane about to rock houston) decided to turn around and verbally berate Gabriel about how he failed to deliver his apology, turned around, and tried to post a largely evidence-less call out about him.
The reason for Bo doing this?
Gabriel reblogged female-coded aesthetic into the tag. And that was all the proof Bo needed that GABRIEL IS A LIAR BLAH BLAH
heres the thing.
gabriel and i are in a different artist’s server together.
Gabriel has posted the wip of the new design into the server.
I’ve seen it. with my own two fucking eyes.
in fact. the new design. BARELY EVEN LOOKS LIKE A FUCKING TROLL AT ALL
IT LOOKS NOTHING LIKE COSMIT
IT DOESNT EVEN FUCKING LOOK LIKE OPAL
BO WENT OFF THE RAILS
FOR LITERALLY NO FUCKING REASON
AND NOW A BUNCH OF 17 YEAR OLDS ON TUMBLR
ARE TRYING TO RUIN NOT ONLY HIS LIVELIHOODS, BUT ALSO EVERYONE AROUND HIM
OVER A DESIGN THAT WAS 3 CONCEPTS REMOVED FROM THE ORIGINAL
ANYWAY TLDR: they both handled this extremely poorly! I do NOT agree with Gabriel’s handling of Bo’s and Liam’s initial concerns!
But I SUPER don’t agree with “i own blackcoded opalescent characters as a concept bc i said so” and but mostly?
I really disagree with bo’s attempts to use the crisis of a TROPICAL STORM to solicit the response THEY ALONE wanted.
THIS is why I have bo blocked. I could give a shit LESS about all the other bullshit. Do I like it? No. It is my business? no.
But the sheer fucking LACK OF EMPATHY displayed here is FUCKING ASTOUNDING.
Theres actually OTHER reasons I don’t like bo, which are all 100% unrelated to all this fucking horse shit! But that’s my fucking business!!
anyway!! fuck off!!
#newtnewt#read this if you want#i've been effectively blacklisted from the community since that one toddler called gabriel out in april anyway so what do i really have to l#drama#i fucking GUESS#Anonymous
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Omg. Requests are open. I'm so happy. Can I have rfa and minor trio helping their kid with math homework? Like these adult people vs. math. Thank you and have a nice day
RFA + Minor Trio helping their kid with Math
Hello my love! I love these kind of requests and I was so happy to write it! I hope you enjoy it! Tell me your opinion!
Jumin
,,Mommy…?’’ a young boy called through the penthouse, getting out of his room and walking towards the door of his parent’s bedroom.
Just when he was about to open the door, the boy’s father quickly stepped out.
,,Mommy is sleeping. She’s not feeling well, did something happen?’’ Jumin asked his son and took him in his arms.
Usually, his son would play alone in the afternoon for half an hour or do his homework and then spend some time with his family, but today he was pretty long alone in his room.
,,I need mommy,’’ he repeated.
,,I don’t understand Math,’’ the boy whimpered, tears in his eyes.
,,Daddy will help you since Mommy needs to rest. You will be a big brother soon, that’s why Mommy needs to sleep a lot,’’ Jumin told him and took his son and went into his room.
Jumin looked at the worksheets.
,,So, Mommy is in one room and I join, how many people are there?’’ Jumin asked him.
His son looked at him with panic.
But then the young father had an idea.
He got up and returned a few seconds later with a few sweets in his hand.
,,Here, have one,’’ he said and saw how happily his son took the candy.
,,Do you want to have this candy too?’’ he asked him then.
,,How many candies would you have had then?’’ he kept asking his son.
Finally, the young student understood the question and with his father he kept working on his homework.
Zen
,,MOOOOOOOMMMMMYYYYYY!’’ a little white haired girl ran through the house, her book in her hands.
,,Baby, psssst…’’ Zen quickly caught his sunshine and kissed her.
,,Mommy is trying to get Hana to sleep,’’ he explained and kissed his ten year old.
He then asked her if she wanted to show him anything.
He was surprised when she proudly showed him her homework. However, everything was wrong.
,,Come, baby, let’s go over it together,’’ Zen said and carried his princess into her room and sat next to her.
He first erased her wrong answers and then slowly asked her, ,,Imagine you have to count the number five, five times… take a piece of paper and draw five circles,’’ he told her.
She followed his instructions and then looked at him.
,,So, now we have to count them five times,’’ he explained.
,,One… two… three… twenty… twenty-one… twenty-five…?’’ she asked him, looking at him.
,,Right! Twenty-five!’’ he smiled and patted on her head.
He thought that it was kind of cute that her solution was fifty-five.
And so, father and daughter tried to solve all the problems together.
Yoosung
Yoosung looked at his daughter’s worksheet.
Since when did children have such difficult questions? He asked himself and tried to look up a tutorial to help his fifteen year old son.
,,Okay,’’ he mumbled and paused the video.
His son was unmotivated, bored, and depressed that he couldn’t solve that one question.
,,I got it, son. Together, we can do it!’’ Yoosung tried to stay positive.
Indeed, Yoosung could explain the task and didn’t even fail at finding a solution.
,,We have ten balls: two red, three white, and five blue. The probability of getting a blue ball is five to ten since we have ten balls in total and five balls which are blue,’’ he explained and drew a picture.
His son nodded as he began to understand what his father tried to tell him.
Half an hour later, they finally finished with the homework.
,,You were good! I will give you a cookie for your hard work!’’ Yoosung praised.
Since then, his son always asked his father for help when there was something that he didn’t understand in his homework.
,,I feel as if I am in school again,’’ he whined one night at you while you giggled.
Jaehee
,,Oh dear,’’ you sighted as you looked at the question over and over again.
You hated these kinds of questions.
You were just as depressed as your daughter.
Spending half an hour on a question with only three points, wasn’t the best start.
Luckily, Jaehee saw that both of you were helpless and quickly joined you on this beautiful Saturday afternoon.
,,So, you have these three lines and they are parallel, aren’t they?’’ she asked both of you and quickly could tell you what the task was about.
Indeed, this seemed to be pretty easy for Jaehee.
,,Okay, you will be in charge of math and I will take over everything else. Just don’t make me work on math ever again!’’ you laughed and got up, ready to go for a walk with your beautiful family after working on the hard question for such a long time.
Saeyoung
You expected Saeyoung to be good in math.
But you never thought that he would be that good.
You just spend half an hour on a single task, reading and reading the same question over and over again.
However, you didn’t understand anything.
Your twin girls looked at you.
,,Yesterday you said that mom knows everything,’’ one of your red haired angels told you.
You didn’t want to disappoint them, but for god’s sake, this single question was making you nervous.
It was as if someone would tell you that the sun is yellow and the house is green and ask you how long they took to build up the city.
,,I am home!’’ Saeyoung said after coming home, kissing his girl’s heads and your soft lips.
With a glance, he looked at the topic of his children’s homework.
,,I love this topic! LOLOL, this answer here is wrong,’’
And with that, you demanded that he explain the task to you, his children, and at some point, friends of his daughters.
And you were really glad that Saeyoung was by your side, supporting you as a wonderful father.
Saeran
Helpless.
This was the only thing Saeran felt when he looked at all the numbers of his daughter’s worksheet.
He gulped.
He was good at hacking and he was good at math, but this was totally bullshit.
He looked at the clock. You were still away for a few more hours.
,,Daddy, you don’t need to if you don’t get it either,’’ his little girl mumbled and was about to close the book and put away her stuff.
,,Don’t worry, I will try it again,’’ he whispered and read the task over and over again.
He tried to write down the most important information of the question and wrote them down.
Step by step, he tried to solve the mystery until he succeeded.
Finally, the solution seemed to be logical.
,,Now, step by step, that’s their question and here is what they give you,’’ he began to explain.
The both of them began to work on the three pages his daughter had as homework.
When you came home, a big smile was on your face.
You softly brushed Saeran’s cheek and kissed your daughter’s head as their sleeping faces laid over their hard work.
Jihyun
,,I wanna go to mommy,’’ Lucy said. A few tears dripped down on her book as she held the pen with a trembling hand.
,,I know, Lucy,’’ Jihyun began.
,,But first, we need to work on these tasks and then I promise that we can go to mommy and your little brother in the hospital, yes?’’ he asked his adopted girl.
The girl looked at him and nodded.
Jihyun knew that the relationship between mother and daughter was different, but he never knew that there could be such a big difference.
And so, the mint haired man sat next to his daughter and observed his daughter’s studies.
,,Lucy, are you sure that 365 divided 5 is 74?’’ Jihyun asked her.
She looked at him and all over again she made the same mistake.
,,Look,’’ he told her and took a pen in his hand and wrote down the question.
,,If you write down 365: 5, and you only take 36 : 5, you get the number…?’’ Jihyun waited.
,,Seven…?’’ she asked him.
Her father nodded.
,,So, we write down 365 : 5 = 7, but there isn’t a 36 in the multiplication of 5, right?’’
,,No, there’s just 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, and so on,’’ Lucy mumbled.
,,Perfect! So, below the 36 you write down 35. You subtract the numbers and take down the 15.
How often does 15 go into 5?’’ he asked.
Finally, Lucy understood what her father wanted to tell her and since then she calculated the problem his way.
Btw, it should look like that ( I sat 5 minutes at that question because I got confused)
365: 5 = 73
35
——–
15
15
——-
0
Vanderwood
You rubbed your temples and stroked your belly as your son kept crying.
Suddenly your husband stepped in, asking the both of you what was happening.
,,I…I can’t help him anymore, Vanderwood,’’ you began to sob.
Vanderwood patted your head and told you to go to rest since you were already eight months pregnant.
,,The hero of the day will explain the question to him,’’ he told you, trying to make you feel better.
As soon as you stepped out, Vanderwood asked his son if crying would make him intelligent.
,,No? Then stop sobbing. I’m here to help you,’’ Vanderwood said, muting his son in lighting speed.
,,Look,’’ he began.
,,If you draw a point here, here, here, and there, and connect them, it gives you this curve right?
So now we need to use X to find out the calculation for this point,’’ he went on.
,,Let’s calm down and search for an easy walkthrough,’’ Vanderwood told him.
Indeed, the both of them found a way and could easily work on all the questions that were left.
Vanderwood tried his best to teach his son so that he would do well in the exam, which was around the corner.
And even though you couldn’t support them mentally, you decided to bring over some snacks and help them in your own way.
This was really funny, I used my mother as an example. My dad never successfully taught me maths XD I always began to cry with him, lol and I still do because I HATE MATH!
MASTERLIST 1
MASTERLIST 2
MASTERLIST 3
02.04.2020// 00:51 MEST
#jumin han#jumin x reader#jumin x mc#zen hyun ryu#hyun ryu#zen x reader#zen x mc#yoosung kim#yoosung x reader#yoosung x mc#jaehee kang#jaehee x mc#jaehee x reader#saeyoung choi#saeyoung x reader#saeyoung x mc#seven x mc#seven x reader#707 x reader#707 x mc#luciel choi#luciel x reader#luciel x mc#saeran choi#saeran x mc#saeran x reader#jihyun kim#jihyun x mc#jihyun x reader#vanderwood x mc
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