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icallhimjoey · 1 month

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Reinvent Love

♥ ♥ Joseph Quinn x Fem!Reader

Summary: You and Joe are treading new waters. You’re no longer flatmates, but still close. More than friends, but nothing defined. Nothing labeled. Determined to not lose what you have, though. But, can you?

CW / disclaimer: rpf, fem!reader, language, adult themes, jealousy, accusations, soft fluff, season 3 of my flatmate!joe

Author’s note: the first cracks; they're here - and, again, you don’t need to have read define close or explain us, but it’ll obviously give you backstory, which might help!

Wordcount: 3.6K

part one - part two - part three - part four - part five

It was silly. Joe was being silly.

He knew it, and felt so stupid for it. Like, in hindsight, the worrying felt so dumb. The constant milling shit over didn’t change anything, there was no real point to it. Although, maybe you being on his mind in this... new manner was what summoned you last night.

You just showed up, talking about a crazy day, no sad pouts, no needy touches. Just jittery movements and a lot to tell him.

Joe kind of sat back on his sofa, spread out and leaning into his left elbow and watched you pace around his lounge. Something about something a colleague had said that then turned out to be lies and you found out something by overhearing a phone call you weren’t meant to overhear – Joe was barely following along. Didn’t really try his best to, if he was honest.

He was moreso paying attention to what you were actually doing – were you even aware that you had started grabbing random things he had left lying around on his coffee table, on the kitchen island, on the counters, and one by one, put everything away where it was meant to go?

Joe pursed a smile as he realised you knew exactly where everything went. Why did that make his chest ache in the best of ways?

This new casual form of intimacy seemed so small, but Joe felt how it smothered that little grain of doubt that resided in his chest. That little grain that had convinced him that you were probably going to fall into a new routine with your new flatmate after he moved in and, then you would probably grow close to him and Joe knew how you... no.

No.

He couldn’t think that.

It wasn’t fair on you. He caught himself trying to finish the thought a lot, but he knew it wasn’t fair. Wasn’t true. He didn’t even fully believe it. It was this thing. Still, he also couldn’t help how it simultaneously made him grow a little more possessive and made him want to prepare for the worst.

But, she was here, he had to remind himself.

She’s here.

And she was wandering around his space, letting her train of thought flow freely from her brain into his living room and he used to witness this all the time when you lived together still. Joe realised he’d actually missed it a lot, and wasn’t that the whole point? That he got to miss you now?

God, Joe missed you a lot and you were right there and he could just burst at the seams at how fucking lucky he felt.

He was a just normal guy in a normal flat with a normal relationship– well, normalish relationship, anyway. Not that you had talked about anything yet. Of course you hadn’t. But it was pretty fucking obvious what this was. So he had started shrugging whenever someone would ask if you were actually together, which felt a lot better than the forever, “No, we’re flatmates, what are you talking about?” he used to throw at people, practically gaslighting them out of whatever they thought they’d witnessed between him and the girl that he used to live with.

It was working. The plan he had made, this vague idea of normalcy; it was working out the way he had wanted it to.

And yea, sure, you were getting a new flatmate and Joe had a difficult time not feeling some type of way about that, but, he had made the decision to move out and, look at you now.

“Do you think I can get a raise out of this? Or at least get a weird bonus, mid-term?”

Joe had a hard time not laughing at your question as he saw you had already mentally moved onto something else. You were stood in the middle of the room, both hands on your hips, eyes scanning the room. Everything tidy and organised.

“Joe, when did you last clean?”

Joe followed your gaze up into one of the corners of the ceiling.

“I cleaned today.” Joe said, knowing you’d likely not take it as an honest answer. You had lived together, remember? No fucking way was Joe ever going to feel the urge to maybe sometimes swipe a feather duster across the upper corners of his living room.

You shuddered at the thought of what resided behind his curtains there.

You sighed and tutted and turned back to Joe’s kitchen like you were going to start cleaning his fucking ceilings at half past ten at night.

“Hey, no. No, no. Stop. Will you come sit down a second? My god.” Joe huffed, feigning annoyance. When you turned on your heel and giggled as you scurried over, Joe let a laugh escape his throat just before you let yourself fall into the cushions next to him.

He hooked an arm around your neck to pull you in so he could press his nose into your cheek a second. You gladly let him, and when he held you close like that for longer than you initially thought he would, you suddenly realised you’d just been talking about yourself for twenty minutes straight.

Just barged in with unimportant thoughts on your mind that you just verbally vomited right into Joe’s space. You knew it was mostly nervous energy that was only there because your new flatmate picked up his keys earlier, which now meant there was every opportunity for someone to just... walk into your flat at any given time. That had unexpectedly brought on way more anxiety than you previously thought it would do.

Hence why you decided to just... escape it, and went over to Joe’s to spend the night there.

Joe was pressing his nose into your cheek and held you in place for a bit before he moved his head down, hiding into your neck a second.

“You okay?” you asked softly, head tilting down a bit.

“Mm, yea, fine.” Joe inhaled deeply, before pressing a few small kisses to the crook there and moving back to look at you the in eye. He unhooked his elbow from around your neck and placed two cupped hands on either side of your face, swiping bits of hair back in the process.

Joe was leant all the way back into the sofa, head squished in between two of the back cushions and you took a moment to look at each other. Joe studied your face and rubbed his thumbs across the apples of your cheeks until you grew shy.

“You look tired,” you softly said before Joe sat up a little and leant closer. It had you close your eyes just before scrunching up your nose as he kissed the very tip of it.

“I am tired.” He mused, copying your nose scrunch when you blinked your eyes open again, and Joe looked so soft. Sort of pleased with life, happy to be where he was and like he’d just had a really good productive day. He blinked slowly, eyes only half open, and looked sleepy enough to slip right into dreams the second his head would hit his pillow.

You loved him like this. His hands on you, all soft touches. Comfy and cosy and calm. Just you and him. No one else. No threat of someone randomly walking in.

This was perfect.

“Mmm, me too.” You smiled and let Joe grab one of your elbows to pull an arm across his stomach as he sat back again.

“I’m not surprised. You’ve just done a 5K as you tidied this room, I think.”

You huffed a laugh as you sank into Joe’s side, and then you sat like that in silence for a moment. No TV on. No phones in sight for some easy distraction. Just you and Joe and the view of his living room.

“Are you okay?” Joe suddenly asked, emphasis on the you, and you tried hiding the small, hitched intake of breath by quickly nodding and casually going, “Yea. Fine.”

You could feel how Joe tucked in his chin to look at you.

He waited. Wasn’t going to tell you, “No, be honest...”, but also wasn’t going to accept it and move on. It was still like that. He knew you were lying, and you knew he knew, no words shared at all.

So you sighed and took a second, and then said, “Josh picked up his key today.”

And you didn’t want to explain what that meant.

Didn’t want to tell Joe that, for a while, this existing-in-two-flats thing had just felt like a bit of a joke. Just the two of you playing and being silly about whatever you really were. You still sort of thought of him as a flatmate because he still came over all the time, and you went over to his all the time too. You existed in the same space almost just as much as before, sort of.

But now a new flatmate was actually moving in, and suddenly, it felt like reality had slapped you right across the cheek like it had done that day that Joe moved out.

You’d gotten to hide away for a lot of that.

And there was no real hiding this time around.

You couldn’t go home and pretend Joe was going to move back in eventually, because now Josh’s things were going to be all over the flat. Which was fine. Josh signed a lease. His things were allowed to be all over the place.

It was just... things were getting real now.

Shit was real.

“Which reminds me,” you suddenly piped up, pushing uncomfortable thoughts down, tucking those away for another time and place. “This is going to save you some money!”

You saw how Joe’s mouth slowly stretched into a smile as he watched how his own feet rubbed against yours. Then he caught himself and quickly furrowed his brow, saying, “No, I don’t think it works like that.”

You copied his expression, but were more confused than anything else.

“Of course it does. Josh signed the papers, he’s going to start paying rent now, you–”

“I said that I had taken care of things, didn’t I?” Joe interrupted you, fingers playing with the folds in your sleeve of the arm that rested over his stomach. “Can’t just not keep a promise like that.”

You blinked at him a second, then moved to sit up to stare at him harder. If both Joe and Josh paid rent, that basically meant that you... got to live for free for a while? That math wasn’t mathing. One plus one wasn’t equalling two here. You looked around Joe’s flat and tried to think of his own expenses, and... what the fuck was he doing?!

“Joe,”

“You’re not going to be able to talk me out of this.”

“Joe.”

Joe ignored you and faked a yawn, sped it up along with stretched out arms above his head and quickly said, “So tired. Bed?” before getting up and leaving you on his sofa as he left the room.

“You’re insane if you think I’m just going to accept that!” you called after him and heard him laugh from down the hall.

“Did you not just say you were after a weird mid-term bonus?”

And you hated how that made you smile. Made you punch one of the cushions and sink your teeth into your bottom lip begrudgingly as you forgot to breathe a second.

Joe smiled to himself too as he turned on the lights in his bathroom. It felt like he was winning a contest - there was no contest, no one to fight, not really, but, he was definitely winning.

“You coming?”

Breathe.

Calm down.

You could pretend to fight him on this once more in the morning.

Crawling into bed with Joe had its own little routine which was different from the one at yours. Different order of things, because the lay out of the flat was different.

Bathroom first. You brushed teeth together, always had to stop Joe when he washed his face too aggressively and then used your own moisturiser on him. “Just for your dry patches,” you’d always say, but would end up swiping delicate fingertips all over anyway. There’d be a snarky comment, of you using too much, of him feeling too greasy, of how he was going to stick to his pillow all night now, and then you’d always kiss him to shut him up before moving on to do your own skincare routine.

When you’d get into bed, Joe would already be in there, giving his phone a last once-over before he’d scoot down and get comfortable.

This time, however, when you walked into his bedroom, the lights were already off, and it looked like Joe was already falling asleep.

This soft man.

So sleepy.

He was all messy curls and bare arms, duvet tucked under them, curled up right in the middle of his bed. You slid in and cuddled up right behind him, hips against his bum, chest to his back.

You were right.

Joe was already falling asleep.

You pushed a leg in between his for warmth and snuck an arm around his front.

“You’re crazy,” you whispered into the skin of his shoulder which prompted Joe to grab hold of your hand and pull it into his chest so you were hugging him properly. The big spoon to his small one. Then he just hummed as you pressed a small kiss to his warm skin there.

“So crazy.” you nuzzled into his pillow, your nose rubbing his back as you did, and you felt how he ducked his head down to press a small kiss to your fingers.

You fell asleep warm, comfortable, and smiling.

You woke up in the same way.

Just on your stomach now, and with Joe’s heavy limbs slung over your body. When you turned over, it woke Joe up, and for five blissful early morning minutes, you tried crawling into each other’s skin as best you could. Breathed each other’s breath and tasted each other’s skin. Stroked hands underneath clothes and had fingers crawling into underwear, just to touch and to hold.

When you quietly asked if Joe wanted coffee, he groaned and told you to shut up. He was able to feel you giggle to that, and he could cry with how happy he felt in that moment. Why would you have to go and ruin it by getting up to go and make coffee?

“Five more minutes.”

“Mmm... it’s never just five.”

Joe sighed, “Just five.” speech slurring with early morning drowsiness and then burrowed himself into you even more.

And fine.

Joe could have five more minutes.

But then they easily turned into twenty, because they always did, and you had to eventually bribe Joe with breakfast for him to let you go so you could sit up.

“If you take a slow shower, I’ll have it ready when you finish.” You looked over your shoulder where Joe, still with his eyes closed, smiled widely. His nose was slightly red from pressing it into your skin, and his bedhead made you have to suppress a giggle that you hid by leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead before you got out.

Joe barely even felt that little grain of bad in his chest when he thought of how much he loved you.

Because he did.

Joe fucking loved you.

There was going to be a moment soon where he was just going to have to say it. It was going to spill out of him in some other way if he wouldn’t simply use the words, he just knew it.

Joe loved you as he watched through squinty eyes how you reached for a pair of white socks of his to borrow.

Loved you as he watched you pull one of his old sweaters over your head before you walked out, bare legs still on show.

Loved you when he stepped into his living room after his shower to the smell of burnt toast and scrambled eggs and coffee.

Loved you as he watched you step onto a chair in the corner of his room, wet dishcloth in hand to remove the strings of dust you had scolded him over the night before.

Loved you as he felt what the sight of your stretched body, your bare tighs, and the little peep of your bum did to him inside of his boxers.

Loved you as he groaned and let his head fall onto the counter, having to breathe through it, because you were just cleaning his living room, and not giving him a sensual striptease act or whatever.

Loved you as you looked back over your shoulder, raising your eyebrows in surprised confusion before accusingly asking, “Really, Joe? Cleaning?”

Loved you as he stutteringly defended the blood rush down south by saying, “You have no idea what you look like right now.” into his elbow where he had to hide his face for a second.

Loved you, loved you.

He was hardly able to deny any of it.

And he didn’t feel that he had to, either.

Because, you were there. In his flat. In his clothes. Cleaning his dusty ceiling corners. And wasn’t that just something he wanted to tell the whole fucking world about?

That small little green grain of doubt and worry and negativity dried out and got no sunshine to really grow into anything. Thank fuck.

He got to ignore it for a while.

Forgot about it entirely, and pretended it wasn’t even there for a bit.

It was easy.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

Would tell you soon.

Didn’t know how.

Or where.

But he was going to say it.

He was going to use his words because he was just a normal guy who loved a normal girl and you weren’t being weirdly secretive about what you got up to in private. At least, not how you used to be, anyway.

Joe loved you.

You brought Joe flowers and cleaned his ceiling and wore his clothes and cooked his breakfast.

Joe loved you, even though your new flatmate Josh turned out to be impossibly good-looking in addition to being incredibly kind as well, so Joe didn’t even get to have a real reason to dislike him at all, which seemed unfair, but, all right.

Joe loved you, even when suddenly two shiny black acoustic guitars appeared on your living room wall, because Josh worked in music, and wasn’t that just so cool?

Joe loved you, even though his very first thought after that was, well I know how to play guitar too, don’t I?! which you had never even mentioned before.

Joe loved you, even when he walked into your flat one evening and interrupted a dinner you were having with Josh and one of your friends and, look, Josh cooked for us, and for the first time ever, he felt uninvited and intruding.

Joe loved you, even when your friend jokingly said, “You’re over here at lot for someone that moved out.” right to his face, to which you then heartily laughed, because she was only joking, Joe, and then you didn’t say anything about how you were together, but, you were together... weren’t you?

Joe loved you, even when he stuck to the bit and handed you his flat key like he always did, expecting to find it in his coat pocket later, but then ended up finding both his pockets empty when he went home the next morning, which, yea actually, that made sense, because Josh lived there now, and it was a little weird to have a key still, wasn’t it?

Joe loved you, even when you had told him to come over on Friday evening because you’d had a shit day at work, and for the first time ever, he had to ring the doorbell to get inside.

Joe loved you, even when Josh was the one that answered the door, and Josh almost didn’t let him in, telling him, “Oh, she’s fallen asleep on the sofa, mate.” to which Joe just smiled as he stepped around him, because what the fuck did Josh even know about falling asleep on the sofa in this flat?

Joe loved you, even when he found you asleep on the sofa, curled up under a blanket he’d never seen before, with an empty pizza box bar some crusts still on the coffee table, and you never ate a whole pizza yourself, so that was obviously shared with someone else.

Joe loved you.

He knew he did.

But there was a playstation besides the TV now, and a cool record player on the side, pile of vinyl next to it, and, God.

Joe fucking hated this.

Whatever was inside of Joe’s chest, that thing he didn’t even want in there, was growing.

Was getting fed without Joe even fully realising he was feeding it.

He hated those guitars. He hated that he no longer had a key. He hated that stupid blanket. And he hated that empty pizza box.

Still, he sat down beside you and placed your socked feet onto his lap. Watched the last scenes of whatever film you’d put on as he slowly kneaded a foot and let you sleep, and he tried his best to not get bitten. To not let it sink its teeth in. To not let it hurt.

It was silly.

Joe was being silly.

Rational thought saved him.

Rational thought told him he still loved you.

And he hoped rational thought was going to be enough.

---

The Taglisted

@ali-in-w0nderland, @alwayslindie, @babybluebex, @capricornrisingsstuff, @chaoticgood-munson,

@choke-me-eddie, @demonsanddemogorgons, @did-it-work, @dirtyeddietini, @djoseph-quinn,

@dolcevit4, @eddies-puppet, @emma-munson, @emotionaldreamer, @everythinghasafacee,

@figmentofquinn, @ghost-proofbaby, @ghostinthebackofyourhead, @hanahkatexo, @harringtonfan4,

@hazelenys, @jewellethief, @joesquinns, @keikoraven, @kennedy-brooke,

@lovelyblueness, @manda-panda-monium, @mandyjo8719, @mexicanfolklore, @munsonluvrr,

@munson-mjstan, @nadixq, @nglharry, @notverywise, @pepperstories,

@phyllosilicate-s, @royale1803, @sherrylyn628, @sidthedollface2, @solzi1420,

@songforeddiemunson, @sweetberry47, @take-everything-you-can, @thebellenouvelle, @tlclick73,

@werepartnersnow, @winterwakesthewolf, @witchwolflea, @yelyahcardella, @yunirgo

taglist currently full, sorry

#Joseph Quinn #Joe Quinn #Joseph Quinn x You #Joe Quinn x You #Joseph Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn x Reader #Joe Quinn Fanfic #Joe Quinn fanfiction #Joseph Quinn Fanfic #Joseph Quinn Fanfiction #joe quinn x y/n #joseph quinn x y/n #icallhimjoey #define close #explain us #reinvent love

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magics-neptunes-things · 7 months

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Hate and love

Hello!

This one is from a request, you still can ask me to write something if you want to :)

I have to say that I'm not really sure about this one, but here it is.

Enjoy ♥

TW : Angst, harassment, divorce, loneliness.

______________________________________________________________

Your arrival in Barcelona at the winter transfer almost a year ago has gone rather well. You quickly bonded with most of the players and you didn’t have any trouble becoming a part of the FC Barcelona family. You maybe wasn't in the Top 3 of the public favorite players, but you don't really mind. You were a bit sad about the departure of some of them this summer, especially Jenni and Ana who were kind of mentors for you during these few months. And even if you continue to exchange news with them, you must admit that it is not the same.

Playing previously in Seville, you already knew quite well some of the players of the team, usually staying on the pitch after the matches to chat a little. You were separated during the World Cup, your national team not being strong enough to pass the qualifications you were in the first to return to training in Barcelona. This did not prevent you from making the trip to Australia to support your friends and obviously the Spanish national team.

You celebrated their victory from the VIP party with friends and family before returning to Barcelona in your daily routine. The world champions have gradually returned to training and you have welcomed new players to the team, always in a good mood.

Everything seems perfect told like that, yet there is something that bothers you since your arrival in Barcelona.

Aitana Bonmati.

She never seemed very happy to see you arrive and you never understood why. At first you said to yourself that she was perhaps afraid that your arrival would cause an imbalance in the group, as can happen sometimes when an element has a too strong personality. Some are afraid of change and you have not asked yourself more questions than that, letting this information slip into a corner of your brain. She wasn’t necessarily part of the small group of girls you trained with regularly anyway since you don’t play in the same spot on the field.

But this summer, you could see that the new arrivals had the right to a big smile and other privileges to which you were not entitled. It’s not really a question of ego, but you don’t understand what you did to her to make her react this way with you. And that's hurt.

You have even noticed with the passing of time that she tends to be rather unpleasant with you, not responding to your hello when you arrive in the locker room for example. It happens to her to roll discreetly her eyes when you speak and you even surprised once Ona throwing her an elbow in the ribs while making the big eyes. It was a relief to see that you were not crazy and that your teammates were taking your side, but it also confirmed what you thought.

And gradually, it plunged you into a kind of constant anxiety, reminding you of some of your traumas during your childhood and adolescence. During which you were often mocked, the girl who preferred to play football rather than dance. Your father always supported you in your choices, unlike your mother, your big brother and your big sister. When they separated you went to live with him and he sacrificed a lot so that you would be where you are today, but you never had the heart to tell him about the harassment you were experiencing at school.

**********

"Can I talk to you?"

Alexia’s voice surprises you while you were focused on the laces of your Converse, making you jump a little. Lost in your thoughts, you were ruminating about the disaster you were during this training. You didn’t put a single ball in the net, you got so distracted that you got a remonstrance from Jona and you almost kill Mapi with a bad pass. Mapi preferred to laugh and quickly came to reassure you by giving you a friendly slap in the back and a hug, to your greatest relief. You would have been horrified to be hated by another of your teammates.

"Sure" you mumble without looking at her.

Alexia’s voice was sweet when she offered to follow her to one of the conference rooms and you complied after picking up your bag and stuff. All the other girls have already returned and the corridors now seem deserted.

When you arrive in the room, you watch Alexia open the blinds slightly as you stand against the wall, very close to the door. You’re anxious and just waiting to be scolded. It often happened like this, teachers taking you aside to say that you weighed on the morale or level of the class. That you had to work on it if you wanted to be accepted and have good results. But no one ever seemed to wonder why you didn’t get along with your classmates. No one ever noticed or understood the harassment you were experiencing. You never mentioned that either, but you would have given ten years of your life for someone to notice. Anyone.

So when Alexia turns to you with an almost maternal expression, it completely disarms you. Her eyes were soft and you can easily detect a form of concern in it.

"You can come closer, I won’t eat you" Alexia gently smiles before sitting on one of the tables, probably to make this conversation less formal.

After hesitating for a second, you settle down in front of her playing nervously with your hair.

"What can I do for you?" you ask, instead of "How are you gonna let me know that I’m gonna heat up the backup bench over the next few weeks?"

"I just wanted to make sure that everything was fine. You seem a little out of place these last few days and it’s starting to worry us. I talked with Jona about it today"

She seems embarrassed to tell you that she told someone else about you without you knowing, making you frown. Your facial expression is probably misunderstood by your captain as she hastens to add

"Don’t take this the wrong way. we’re just worried about you"

"I... I'm fine"

You shrug before biting your lip. You are a bad liar, you know it. And it didn't fool Alexia.

"You don’t have to tell me if you don’t feel comfortable with it. But there are other people here who will listen to you with pleasure."

"Don’t worry about me. It was just a time like this, but I’ll be fine"

Because it's what you always did. Figuring and fighting things alone, even if you have now friends who you trust and who you know you can count on.

"You don't have to do that alone, you know"

"Why do you even care?"

You roll your eyes. Sur Alexia is a great captain, and you like her a lot. As a friend of course, but you can't denied that she deserve her title. Like most other girls she is sincerely kind and knows how to distinguish between competition and friendships in the locker room. This is an example for you, as it is for many other girls. And even if she knows all this, she remains modest and does not take the big head. Pretty impressive, in your opinion.

"Is that even a question Y/N?"

Alexia laughs, but it’s a surprise laugh. She seems surprised at the sincerity of your question. And, seeing that you don't answer, she gently shakes her head before answering you.

"Because we care, you're part of this family and even if half of us are totaly crazy, we care for each other. Whatever your problem is, you don't have to figure out alone."

And these sentences, even if it seems to be the most natural thing for Alexia, break down the barriers you have put up until now. You feel tears wet your cheeks without being able to do anything to stop them. As if the dam that you had formed all these years had broken and all the tears that you had retained until today finally decided to come out. And obviously, it bothers you terribly.

You mumble excuses between two sobs, but after more or less calling you an idiot, Alexia breaks the distance between you two to take you in her arms and rock you against her. You don’t know how long you stay like this, but you still stop crying.

So you tell her everything.

The harassment when you were little, from part of your family and the children in your classes. The divorce of your parents which you feel responsible despite everything, this feeling of loneliness that you have since you were born certainly. This feeling of never being fully understood by anyone, until you arrived here. And then you talk about your teammate who reminds you of that, without giving her name. You don’t want to be a problem and Alexia doesn’t ask you to name her. Maybe because she already knows who she is?

The blonde listens to you without saying a word, patiently wiping the tears that continue to roll on your cheeks. When you are silent, exhausted by these confessions and your tears, she speaks again in a calm and soothing voice.

"I’m not going to pretend that I understand you because I was lucky enough to have a family that always supported me. I wouldn’t be here without them, honestly."

The bond between Alexia and her mother, even her sister is know by anyone. You nod, still looking at her.

"But you, you made your way all by yourself. You're only 21 Y/N, you don't realise how strong you are. But being strong doesn't always mean you have to be alone. You have friends here, people who love you and care for you. You are not alone anymore."

With that you smile at her, feeling relieved. As if the weight of all these years were coming off your shoulders. You even feel like you can breathe better. So you thank Alexia, with simple words but you couldn’t explain how much you think about them. As she lays a kiss on your cheek, you put your arms around her neck to hug her and press your words. She gives you your hug back before training you out of the room. Tomorrow is another day and you promise to do better than that.

**********

The rest of the workouts of the week are much better and you decide to completely ignore Aitana. You remain polite nevertheless, but you act as if she's not there. And this seems to annoy her even more but you decided that's not your problem. Many times you feel her look burn your back and you have time to see her black look before she realizes that you are looking at her and she looks away.

But your morale and your game are back to normal and it’s a great relief for you. For Alexia and your coach too, the man simply slips you a short compliment at the end of a session. No need to make tons and that’s enough for you.

The last practice before the next game goes as usual. You do your warm-ups with your fellow defenders, then you are shuffled for courses and drills before a five-player mini-team tournament is organized. You feel a form of anxiety that makes your heart beat when your team is against Aitana, but you decide to focus on the game.

It goes pretty well until you are tackled a little too ferociously by someone from the opposing team. The pain in your ankle and instantaneous and you can’t hold a cry of pain as you collapse to the ground.

"What the fuck Aitana?" Mapi snaps, but you don't really care for now.

The second duel that took place next to you seems to have stopped too, but the tears of pain that fill your eyes prevent you from seeing it for the moment.

"You're ok?"

Irene has knelt beside you and you feel a compassionate hand behind your back. Long black hair obscuring part of the view informs you that it's Ingrid. You answer a simple no with a nod and a few minutes later you are transported to the infirmary. Ona offered to accompany you and you agreed, realizing that you didn't want to be alone.

**********

"Sprain" informs you the nurse and you let yourself go against the file of the infirmary bed on which you are. "It means rest for two weeks."

You pout, but turn your attention to Ona when she places a friendly hand on your arm. You are so used to spending this kind of time alone that you sometimes forget for a few seconds that she is with you. You must be able to easily win the worst friend award.

"At least it’s not the ligaments" Ona said softly.

"You’re right" you sigh.

She gives you a compassionate smile and you assure her that she can take a shower and change. You still have the prescription to wait and the nurse must come back with your brace and crutches. After making sure you weren’t going to go home with an Uber but with her and Lucy, she eventually left the room. She even offers to inform the rest of the team of your injury and you accept willingly, not wanting to go to put a show there downstairs.

A few minutes pass and you always wait when someone knocks on the door.

"I still haven’t finished Ona, but you can come in."

Except that it is not Ona who enters, but Aitana. The look fixed on her shoes and the air of someone who goes to the torture room. And this time, the anger you had not yet felt takes hold of you.

"I came to apologize" Aitana mumbles without turning her eyes towards you.

"Well, it's done" you answer coldly, turning your back on her.

You don’t want to look at her. You’re mad at her, at her behavior. That she doesn’t like you is one thing, but that she makes you unable to play for two weeks is another.

"It wasn't voluntary"

You hold a sarcastic laugh and slowly shake your head.

"Ok."

Aitana seems surprised at your reaction, but you don’t care. It's true that usually you are more the one who flees the conflict and who prefers to go with the idea of the person in front of you to please her. She stands there and it annoys you. So you suddenly turn your head in her direction and you talk to her dryly.

"All right, you can go now. Just leave me alone."

The tone of your voice seems to make her react since she frowns and steps in your direction.

"Don’t talk to me like that."

You feel your heart racing, you have never been very good at dealing with disputes and emotions. Until now you had managed to buried them deep inside when they became too powerful but it seems that since your confessions to Alexia you are no longer able to do so. She says it’s a pretty good things, but you're not really sure about that.

"Don’t tell me how to talk to you when you’ve been treating me like shit since I got here, Aitana."

Aitana is stunned. She never saw you angry and expected you to accept her apology so that she could get out of this room as quickly as she got in. Her lost look irritates you a little more, she knew very well what she was doing by behaving as she did since the beginning. And you gradually realized that you didn’t deserve this.

"Who made you come here? Mapi, Alexia, Jonatan?"

She blushs and it's enough for you to understand that you are right. If she had the choice, she would never had been here, begging for your forgiveness.

"Get out" you groan, turning your back at her once again.

She didn't and you sigh before getting up as you can. It may not be the most graceful way to do it and it may take some drama off the stage, but you don't care.

"I said get out" you say, raising your voice now. "You don't want to be here and I don't want you here."

But she’s still not moving and your patience is coming to an end. From now on there is nothing else that separates you, except the bed on which you were lying a few moments ago. The nurse still hasn’t come back, but this might be the time to do it please.

"I- " began Aitana, without saying anything more.

"What do you want? Two weeks without me aren't enough? Want to break my other leg too?"

The frustration you feel about not understanding Aitana’s reaction and behavior may be pushing you a little to say things you never had the courage to say before. But it was less positive to return the floor to your interlocutor, whose face and eyes finally come alive again.

"I told you I didn't mean it" she half-screams and you snort. "Maybe I was wrong for acting with you like I did but..."

"Maybe?!" you interrupt her coldly.

"You made my life a living hell! You came here with your damn smile and skills and all my life fell appart!" Aitana is clearly shooting now and you blink, surprised by her rage. "I was in an healthy relationship, happy in my life and with this team. And you came along and everything fell apart! I am straight ok, I am so fucking straight but all I can think about all the time is you! I hate you for the way you make me feel but I'm not fucking able to change it even if I tried since you are here"

It is your turn to remain silent, your brain analyzing each of the words that she just said. And all this has absolutely no meaning for you, except the part where she confesses her hatred to you perhaps. Aitana’s breathing is fast and noisy, you can’t tell if it’s that or your screams that didn’t allow you to realize that you were no longer alone in the room.

"Hmm."

You look over Aitana’s shoulder and you realize that Ona has returned to the room with Lucy holding your crutches and a sheet of paper while she herself carry your bag.

"Maybe it’s time to go home"

Lucy’s perfectly expressionless face keeps you from knowing how long she’s been here. Two steps behind her, Ona makes her look between you and Aitana without saying anything. You nod and pass in front of Aitana with a limp, Ona reacting by breaking the last meters to help you take your crutches in hand.

You follow them silently to Lucy’s car and after some arguments with Ona you finally agree to sit in the passenger seat. By taking your phone out of your pocket, you realize that you have received some messages from your teammates wishing you a good recovery. And you quickly understand that they have created a tournus between them so that you are not alone at home. There will apparently be only during the trip next weekend where you will not have peace. But it makes you smile and a little forget what just happened.

"You want to eat with us tonight?" Lucy asks.

"Nah I'm good thank you. I usually watch some crap TV show on friday night."

You see Lucy peeking at you to make sure you’re not playing superhero and you feel the way she’s measuring you. You look up and sigh.

"I assure you it’s okay. Enjoy your Friday night, I’ll probably go to bed early anyway."

This time it's Ona that Lucy looks through the rearview mirror but neither of them insists, to your relief. Being alone doesn't bother you. Once at home, Ona helps you get out of the vehicle and before she can open her mouth, you speak again.

"I promise, i'm fine Ona."

"All right. I’ll leave you alone on the condition that you swear on your cat’s head that you will write me if you're not okay."

"Leave the poor cat alone" you joke, making her smile. "I promise."

**********

The doorbell on your front door makes you frown. You’re sitting on your couch, a blanket on your legs and your cat on your stomach. Your sprain is better, it must be said that after a week and a half of rest it would be dramatic that this is not the case. You have resumed muscle training, but it is obviously out of the question that you start running again for now. You can now move without your crutches and it was a great relief to be able to get rid of them. Your ankle is still carefully immobilized but you are now doing quite well.

Salma left your apartment half an hour ago, and you’re supposed to stop receiving visitors. Your father phones you every day and hasn’t done it yet, but he has no reason to show up here unannounced. That’s really not his style.

The bell rings again, waking up your cat who is rustling a little before going to eat croquettes in the kitchen. So you get up from the couch and go to the door, opening it without removing the safety chain to see who it is. And almost immediately you close the door, but the fingers of Aitana who slip into the opening prevent you to do so.

"Don’t make me break your fingers"

"Just let me in"

"No? What the hell"

"Y/N, please…"

The despair of her voice makes you flinch and you press your forehead against the door. You’re too sensitive to people’s distress to leave someone with that feeling. Even if it was Aitana herself who put you in this emotion there a few weeks ago. You sigh and, already regretting your gesture, you open the door to let her in. You avoid looking at her when she enters your home, closing the door behind her.

"You have a cat?"

You refrain from pointing out that if she had been interested in you instead of making you regret your arrival, she would know. If you don’t talk about your cat several times during the day, there is a problem.

"How do you know where I live?"

Aitana stop looking at your cat who spread out on your plaid to turn to you. With your arms crossed, you wait for his answer with a certain hint of curiosity. Aitana has never set foot in your house and if you are not mistaken, she does not really live in the neighborhood.

"I asked Irene"

She shrugs and you signal her to settle down on the couch. You go back to your place, gently pushing your cat to be a little more comfortable. With a simple look he made you understand that you're annoying, making you smile gently. You caress him to apologize as he stretches, rolls into a ball and closes his eyes.

"I came to apologize"

Sitting on the edge of the couch, Aitana looks at you with the same suspicion as if she had been the last piece of meat in the middle of a horde of hungry lions.

"I’ve already heard that before" you answer by arching an eyebrow

"I know. But I just... I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, really. My problems shouldn’t have affected you. I should have handled things differently, but I was confuse and scared."

She looks sincere and does not look away when you judge her with yours. Next to you your cat stretches lazily before turning around on the other side and continuing his nap.

"Ok. Apologizes accepted"

She looks at you so long it makes you uncomfortable. You have never been in her presence for so long and you find yourself nervously wrapping your hair around your finger.

"If I could, I would do things differently, you know? I understand it’s out of the question that something is happening between us now, but I would like to start all over again. Get to know you, possibly offer you a date and then two if things go well."

You’re slowly biting your lip looking at her. You’d be lying if you said that the words she said in the infirmary didn’t mark you. You were far from imagining that the reason for his behavior was related to an attraction to you. You think it’s pretty toxic, but you like to think people deserve a second chance. After biting your lip, you bend over and reach out to her.

"Well... Hi. I'm Y/N, nice to meet you."

#aitana bonmati #aitana bonmati x reader #woso imagine #woso x reader

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leviscolwill · 8 months

Text

sanctuary

pairing: jude bellingham x f1 driver!reader

summary: after an eventful singapore gp, the only thing you can think of is your comfy bed but your body has another plan and your boyfriend isn't happy about that. [wc: 1,6k]

req: Ferrari driver reader x jude where she feels a bit dizzy after a race and kind of faints when they get at the hotel, like just fluff with him taking care of her + CAN YOU WRITE JUDE ANGST THEN FLUFF IDC ABT THE SCENARIO JS JUDE ANGST IN JUDE X DRIVER READER 🙏🙏

contents: established relationship, charles is reader's teammate, ferrari being good au (impossible ik), reader faints, jude is a worried bf, barely has angst ngl 🏃‍♀️, nothing else i think

note: i have no idea how to write about fainting and it probably shows. ALSO, i wrote most of this at 1am so i hope it makes sense (probably doesn't but we move😪)

now playing: sanctuary by joji (nectar)

usually you would say you absolutely loved singapore. the track was one of your favourites on the calendar and you practically counted down the days to this race. but this week was probably the most difficult of your entire career in motorsports. of course, marina bay had never been an easy race, and the weather conditions in singapore were only making it harder to handle. but this year, no number of ice bath and cold shower could appease the dizzying headache that plagued your weekend.

and to add to that, everyone at the team has been stressing you out about the championship. obviously, you were grateful that you could finally fight for one, ferrari had built the perfect car this season. but this came with a price, fighting against charles for the title. you were great friends with your teammate but you had to admit your relationship took a toll with the constant tension between the two of you throughout the season. anyone wearing a bright red kit kept reminding you that you needed to be careful on track, that if you crashed with anyone, but especially with charles, you'd be in great trouble.

thankfully your boyfriend joined you after qualifying, and made your weekend instantly better. he noticed something was wrong right away. of course, you told jude about your struggles but he didn't expect to find you in this state.

"maybe you shouldn't race tomorrow..?"

you took a glance at jude, laid down on the hotel room bed, to check if he actually meant what he just uttered only to find a very serious look on his face.

"yeah, i'll just call fred to tell him i'm feeling sick and don't care about the championship anymore, that's definitely the best choice i have." sarcasm dripped out of your words as jude rolled his eyes.

"just because you had a bad day, doesn't mean you have to give me an attitude." it was your turn to roll your eyes. you quietly got under the sheets and muttered a barely audible 'goodnight', clearly not having the energy to argue with him tonight.

as you closed your eyes you felt jude turn around to wrap you in his arms around you.

"i'm just worried for my girl, that's all." he said, softly kissing your hair. you turned around to face him, having to trace his face before finding his lips because of the darkness of the room, and pressed a quick kiss on his lips.

"i appreciate your concern, i really do. but this race is so much more important than a silly headache. i'll be okay." you kissed him again for good measure. "you're gonna have to trust me with this one."

"i always trust you." the two of you talked some more before falling asleep in each other's arms.

—

the only thing you could think of when you stepped out of your car was your bed. as expected the race had been particularly draining and truth be told, you didn't know if you would be able to stand on the podium in your state. you managed to score a satisfying p2, well it would have been more satisfying if charles wasn't standing on the highest step of the podium, with a 4-point difference before catching on you in the driver's standing.

when the whole team congratulated you on your results, it felt like you were in a fever dream, barely making out what was real and what wasn't. you didn't even notice jude talking to you before he snapped his fingers in front of you.

"are you okay ? should i take you to the medics ?" he asked in a worried tone.

"i'm alright... just need to get through the podium." which did not happen. you ran off stage as soon as the italian anthem stopped ringing in your ears. it was all too much, the heat, the noise, the exhaustion, the pressure. all too much to handle for you.

when you joined jude, he was already talking with your pr manager, telling her you wouldn't be able to do any media work right now. it was the truth, not a petty lie to get away with it. you genuinely felt even more lightheaded (if that was possible) at the sole thought of having to go through a dozen interviews.

seeing you barely standing straight must have conceived her, so soon enough you were on your way back to the hotel in a cab jude called.

you quietly laid your head on jude's shoulder. he barely said a word to you since the podium incident, only asking how you felt, if you drank enough water, and how many hours of sleep you had. you watched him as he typed things on his phone in total silence. you wondered if he was mad at you for putting yourself in such a situation or only worried. regardless, you felt a pang of sadness in your heart thinking about it before drifting off.

—

as soon as jude opened your hotel room's door, you felt your legs giving up on you, your hands found the wall to steady yourself. you could hear jude's voice but couldn't make out what he was saying, like you were underwater.

you tried making it to the bed, but you fell down on your knees and just propped your back against it, waiting a minute before getting up, to get your head to stop spinning uncontrollably.

"y/n. are you okay ?" you felt your boyfriend kneeling down next to you and could finally understand his words, but it felt like they were resonating in your brain, only worsening your headache.

"i'm fine, i'm fine... i just need a moment." you didn't want to worry jude more than he already was, although the weak tone of your voice alarmed him more than anything. you felt him shift around you, and caught a glimpse of him coming back from the bathroom before your eyes shut.

when you woke up, you were laid on the bed with a wet cloth on your forehead. and the first thing you saw was a wide-eyed jude handing you a glass of water.

"i thought about making you drink when you were... asleep? but i didn't want to drown you. so i waited for you to wake up." he was talking fast, too fast for you to fully understand his nonsense.

"hello to you too." your voice was still weak but you felt much better than at the race track. you quickly took a few sips of water before jude tried drowning you for good.

"what's that ?" you asked pointing at the cloth still laying on your face.

"some website said that's what you're supposed to do when your irresponsible girlfriend faints." you hid your face in your pillow at his accusatory words.

"no, but seriously y/n. do you have any idea of how worried i was ? imagine if something wrong happened. god, i knew i shouldn't have let you race..." his words had an angry tone to them and you were confused as to why jude was mad at you over hypothetical scenarios.

"but nothing wrong happened, i even got points. are you not proud of me ?"

"are you being serious right now ? you know i'm always proud of you, points or no points. but you think i'm gonna clap for you after putting yourself in danger like that ?" jude's tone got somewhat angrier but he kept going.

"fuck, when you fainted i already saw myself explaining everything to your mum. you can't take those risks, especially when you drive a fast car for a living. you can understand that right ?"

you felt tears well up in your eyes at his words, thinking about how worried he must have been this whole time.

"i'm sorry, it's just... i've been thinking about the championship a lot. i guess that clouded my judgment." you wiped away your tears quickly, before jude could notice them but it was too late.

"hey, hey, hey... you shouldn't be saying sorry to me, you probably spent a worse weekend than i did anyway. i'm not mad at you but at the situation, alright ?" his fingers stroke the wet spots under your eyes, wiping what was left of your tears away. "i'm proud of you, and happy for your points. but you're not winning a championship by making your dangerous job even more dangerous." his voice and his eyes were soft and you felt your chest get significantly warmer.

"you're right..." the room got silent for a couple seconds at your words.

"what was that ? i couldn't hear you babe" jude had a shit-eating grin on his face and you knew exactly what he wanted, and it almost made you physically sick to give him this satisfaction.

"i said... you'reright." you tried getting those terrible words out as fast as you could, but he wasn't happy with that.

"mmh mmh, that won't do... say it nice and loud for me love." you felt your face heat up, both in fluster and embarrassment at his words.

"you're right." your words had a defeated tone to them, but jude decided that would be enough by the way he didn't taunt you anymore.

he moved and got under the covers with you, even though you were gonna have to get up again as you were both still dressed. he just wanted to share this little moment of peace with you.

"you know, it's crazy how you drive the fastest car in the world but can't survive singapore's heat for a weekend." you playfully elbowed jude's ribs at his teasing.

you were grateful to have someone like jude to support you and your intense lifestyle, but also someone to talk about silly little things, legs tangled under the sheets.

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pyschedtrickster · 11 days

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TADC Ep 2 - Depression and the Meaning of Life

Well, I may or may not be a day late to release of the episode, but I've watched it three times so far and I have some thoughts. Let's get the gritty stuff outta the way.

First of all, The Amazing Digital Circus belongs to @gooseworx and therefore everything I say here is just my personal take on the episode. I could be wrong, talking out my ass, etc. But this episode really spoke to me, so good job Goose.

Secondly, spoilers <3

Third, I think I've written enough that people won't get jumpscared with spoilers. This is gonna be a long read, so bear with me. This post will contain ALL my thoughts on the episode, both meaningful and just silly things I liked.

BUBBLE

So anyone who knows me from Bunnydoll Burrow knows I love Bubble. They're my favorite so far and this episode only cemented that further. They're wonderful comedic relief and even if they don't have any character development (which I don't think they will), I will always love them.

Caine Cares Too Much

While watching this, I was immediately off-put by Caine's reactions, even beginning with him calling Zooble back. He sounds so... dire? I don't know if that was intended to mean something or if it was just to put emphasis on how much Caine cares about his creations. Caine is AI, so world-building is likely his ONLY goal, or his prompt if you will. It wouldn't surprise me if that was why he was so upset by everyone's reactions.

But I can't help but wonder if this will play into his character arc. We understand that Caine is ambiguous right now and there's no real explanation of what his intentions are in the Circus. Something about this just really set me off. It made me feel unsafe in a way as if staying behind would result in danger of some kind. Obviously, it couldn't be that bad, as Zooble did stay behind and turned out fine. Still, I can't shake the feeling that this is foreshadowing.

Zoobie

Hilarious. What a solid nickname, I've seen so many headcanons that Zooble would be a stoner in the real world. This only makes it better. They are now Zoobie in my mind.

Pomni's Child Comment

While I'm sure this was just a silly comment to be made, I kinda liked it. Just a little in-show reminder that through all of this, Pomni is a real, grown-ass woman stuck inside some digital Hell. The whole first episode, we see her wallowing and panicking, justifiably so. Finally, we get to see her grow more serious and stable.

Through the episode, we see more of her being a good character and becoming more at terms with her situation. I'll touch on this more soon.

Gangle

My girl CANNOT catch a break. Gangle is such a funny character and so, so sweet. She's level-headed in my opinion, even through her emotions. She seems to have a good grip on the shit happening around her but has a hard time communicating properly because she has a lot of feelings going on. Me too, honey, me too.

Even in the face of violence, danger, and overall shitfuckery, she doesn't shut down. Sure, she cries. But I've cried plenty of times while still holding the fort down. I think I just relate to her.

Lastly, I NEED to know what this means like I need oxygen.

Government Mandated Shipping

I dunno man, I just really liked this. I'm a shipper at heart. I've been writing fanfic since middle school. I saw pure fanfic material when I watched this scene.

Kinger and Raggs

This scene made me smile. It's a cute nod towards how Kinger is the longest-standing character and, according to some lost post of Goose's, Ragatha is the second. Plus, all of episodes one and two, we see her trying so hard to be a rock for Pomni. She tries to include everyone, keep everyone cheerful, and be a stable constant in a realm of chaos; Seeing Kinger recognize how far she's come and using that to bring her back to reason was just so refreshing. Ragatha deserves more appreciation like that: less about what she does for others, and more about what she's done for herself.

Jax's Disappointment

So we don't know much about Jax besides how Goose loves him and says he's an asshole who may or may not be irredeemable. When he started talking about violence and getting excited at the thought, I chalked it up to him being an ass. But it struck me just how much this mattered to Jax in this scene. I have questions, man. But I'm about to go on a wild tangent, so hear me out.

Jax is happy when being destructive. He gets immediately upset when things go well. And in the circus, we can assume that there have been a lot of traumatic, wild things that have occurred. I wonder if the chaos, the violence, is a comfort for Jax because of those traumatic experiences. As a person with trauma, I've learned that there's a funny cycle that I and other traumatized people experience.

We don't like the situations we're in, but when faced with normalcy, it's so much scarier than the damaging situation we come from. So, we run from 'normal' back into the suffocating arms of our traumatizing situations for comfort. Going back to the situation means more trauma, more trauma means a harder time finding peace in a safe, normal environment, which means more trauma... you get the picture.

So am I saying a fictional purple bunny is using violence in a digital realm to cope with the very real topic of trauma? Maybe. Yes. Yes, I am. This is how I cope.

Depression, Finding Your Place, and the Bigger Picture

Now you may be saying, "hey! You skipped over some major scenes to talk about silly stuff! What gives?"

Well, as the title of this post suggests, I had some heavier stuff to address in this episode and wanted to compile it all in one section. So that meant skipping over a scene to bunch it in with other ones. I'll break it down.

Depression

Let me begin with the fact that I have been diagnosed with depression for years now. I've been hospitalized for it and I've had family members struggle with it around me. This heavily influenced how I viewed this episode and specifically this scene.

Gummigoo had a perfectly reasonable reaction to seeing the perfect replica of him that is his model. Seeing something like that would shatter your world, and we see that happen to him immediately.

But when Gummigoo talked to Pomni and asked why anything matters, it gave me this really familiar feeling. Thoughts of being nothing, of feeling meaningless, the mere idea of being an obstacle--I've experienced all of these. I'm sure others have. Pomni was right when she said it's normal. Everyone has felt down from time to time.

But what Gummigoo is talking about really hit home with my depression. Thoughts like these, especially when they linger for long, change how you view the world. Everything is tinted blue and desaturated. You feel empty and eventually, so does the world around you. You feel like when the party is over and everyone leaves, you disappear--or you think you should, at least.

"Why are you trying to cheer me up? How does this benefit you at all?"

And it's so, so hard to accept help when feeling like this. Depression is a bitch in the way that it wants you to stay depressed. It feels like everyone around you wants you to feel better because it is a convenience for them. It almost feels transactional if you smile.

But Pomni says it so beautifully; "I guess I just don't want you to feel like you're nothing. I don't want anybody to feel like that."

The way she says it makes me feel like she knows the feeling too, and in reality, she says she does understand in a way how Gummigoo feels. But that? That made it real for me. I don't know why. This whole scene, the entrapment and loneliness despite not actually being alone, just embodied how I've felt for years. What amazing writing.

Finding Your Place

This scene was really the cherry on top of everything I just spoke about. We see that these two understand each other, at least as much as they can. They recognize all of this, it's ridiculous. They're hurtling through space into the unknown, hoping everything works out. They may feel empty, but they're not alone. They've got each other, for better or worse. Maybe they don't know where they belong in this liminal space, but they know where they stand in each other's minds.

And then we get this ending scene. God. Fuck.

I knew that there was obviously something to that dream Pomni had in the beginning, but somehow I didn't expect this to be the conclusion to it. I guess I was too distracted by everything else. So when I got to this shot, I got all warm and teary-eyed.

Pomni finally feels like she's got a pack, a place in this digital circus. When you don't feel mentally alone anymore, there seems to be a weight that's lifted off your shoulders. It doesn't cure the sadness, but at least you know that if you need to be picked up, someone will be there. Depression wants you to be alone, but it just lost that battle. The internet has said it best: A win is a win.

The Bigger Picture

We all know where the end of the road is. How we get there is the mystery. This thought can really make a person feel small, especially when depression comes in to tell you that you in fact are small, according to the chemicals in your brain. But the power of numbers and knowing your place in the world makes facing the unknown a little easier.

I'll be honest, the words are kinda lost on me at this point. Our demise is a really hard topic to broach. I've lost a lot of people, especially some major players in my life (shoutout to the Dead Dads club), and still, I don't understand it all. But the best way I can explain it is through my own experience and how I applied it to this episode.

I had for a long time gone through life trying to prepare and prepare. I played the role of the strong, unaffected individual after being hardened by trauma in childhood. I didn't want to be outwardly emotional, because if I was I would have to admit defeat.

It made me feel weak, especially when my depression would whisper nasty things to me about my self-worth. The bigger picture at that time didn't even exist in my mind. I lived to serve and die. It was no way to live.

Only recently, with time, a couple grippy sock vacays and therapy have I started to form my own, new big picture. At the center of this is my interactions with others. Family, friends, and strangers, all of them are affected by my actions. Even during the days when I feel worthless or alone, I remind myself that even the little things I do have a spiderweb effect. I have worth, more so than serving others or being some obstacle. I can simply walk down the street and perhaps I'll be the person who some kid looks at and hopes to look like when they're older. My existence is so much more than just a give-and-take situation with everyone around me.

It felt like Pomni found her purpose in the circus, and it was more than just playing along until the end. Rather, it was to befriend the people around her who have proved in one way or another way that they care. Abstraction wasn't in vain to them. Lives mattered, and therefore so did Pomni.

In a vast, digital world where chaos looms like a grey cloud, Pomni always mattered. She just had to realize how, and it was much more than being an obstacle or a pawn. And so do we, I think.

#tadc #the amazing digital circus #tadc ragatha #tadc jax #tadc kaufmo #tadc gangle #tadc pomni #tadc fandom #tadc zooble #tadc kinger #tadc bubble #tadc caine #tadc episode 2 #digital circus #tadc ep 2 #episode 2 #new episode #gummigoo #tadc gummigoo

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aspiring-creative-person · 8 months

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Ok but I was just thinking

Jooster is kind of the only actual solid relationship in Jeeves and Wooster?? Like platonic or romantic, let me explain

Like obviously it’s the focus, but like. Listen.

Everyone else hops from girl to girl, or guy to guy, and each one is filled with turmoil. This is just talking about Bertie’s friends, right?

But also, as friends, they really suck. They constantly get him to do things for them and do nothing in return.

Even the aunts and uncles don’t usually have spouses that are actually on screen!! Who knows if there were divorces or something?? Like people’s parents are hardly ever present it’s always some rich aunt or uncle, with Bertie yes but even with all his friends 😅😂

Everyone in that show is just so… detached from each other. There’s a particular moment where Bertie is driving Bingo and Tuppy home, and they’re just ranting about their women to each other and not listening to the other, and Bertie is just so done with it. I think that illustrates this point pretty well.

Anyway, Jeeves and Bertie are so not that. There’s another post somewhere on Tumblr talking about how Bertie always replies to Jeeves’ subtext and they pick up on each others moods essentially, which I think is a great point. And generally they just really like each other. Just read any of the books to see how much Bertie admires Jeeves, and read “Mr. Wooster Changes His Mind,” which is from Jeeves’ perspective, and you can see how he cares a lot for Bertie as well.

And like. They have their own language. Bertie is used to Jeeves materializing into rooms (this generally freaks out other people), he is now comfortable with it. Also he knows that whenever Jeeves is cold to him it’s almost always about his fashion choices, and that is a constant theme of how they interact. They have their quips about music sometimes. Jeeves always helps solve Bertie’s (and friends’) problems, and even when Bertie gets the short end of the stick, if it’s Jeeves’ plan he immediately is satisfied with the conclusion.

The biggest thing, though, is probably their brief break-up. Like. They had a disagreement and broke up, and then missed each other. There weren’t even any hard feelings, just longing tbh. And at the end they got back together, and stayed together, and were happy to see each other again. They clearly enjoy each others’ company. And Jeeves seemed to think that the other candidates for his employer did not even compare to Bertie.

Name another couple in this show who is as devoted as they are

Half of the women go for men for their status, the other half at whims

All of the men go for women on whims, and half of them find another girl when they have some sort of disagreement with the previous one

And even if they get back with a previous partner, there’s no guarantee that they will stay together

But Jooster is in for the long haul. The most consistent relationship, the most caring relationship, the most in-tune relationship, the most long-term relationship.

Oh yeah also with familial relations and all that. Aunt Agatha has been quoted to say she thinks Bertie should probably be put in some home. Like, that’s pretty rude and everything. She also tries to get him to marry all the time, she doesn’t care about him in a way that is healthy at least, only so much as he can be out of the way and out of trouble. Even Aunt Dahlia, who says he is her favorite nephew, and who takes advantage of his nature to get him to do things for her, insults him and throws things at him sometimes. His cousin Gussy, when he gets drunk, insults him in front of a crowd, going so far as to say he hates him. Claude and Eustice put him into the soup without a care for how mad Aunt Agatha will be at him.

Jeeves never insults him, or not his character at least. Yes, they have their disagreements about fashion and music. But Jeeves never insults his intelligence. He never calls him clumsy. He never underestimates him. Yes, he is his employee, but I have a feeling that it doesn’t have to do with that. Even when he was split up, like I mentioned, he came back and said the other employers weren’t up to snuff compared to Bertie.

Omg and then there’s all the women who think Bertie loves them/who want to marry Bertie. Of course, they all have delusions about him, because if they knew him at all they would know he is not in love with them. They would know that he’s too much of a pushover to say no to them. But they don’t. Which just shows further the disconnect everyone has in this show.

Ok referencing one more post because I like the point they have. It was something about how the actors keep changing for the side characters, unintentionally showing how Jeeves is really the only constant in Bertie’s life. Again showing the difference in their relationship vs his disconnected everyone else is. While I’m sure it’s not an intentional choice in that regard, it certainly is an interesting connection.

Anyway like I said at the beginning of this, you can interpret their relationship as romantic or platonic or somewhere in between, but it’s definitely the only solid one in the series.

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etherealising · 10 days

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hey vee! omg i’m so glad you extended your celebration. i’ve been drowning in schoolwork and kinda losing my mind but i totally wanna participate at least once!

ik we’re team barmy in this house but i’m curious to see a drabble on what this day was like from camry’s perspective.

that day baby came to work and he was on a date with claire. how did he bring himself to even go especially after their previous night together. (ik this may be a lil agnsty, i’ve been loving that kind of stuff lately) 💞💞

stawph!!! this request excites me every time i read it and idk why lol. i love writing pre-aiekoy barby it's so much fun to just invent a bunch of lore!!

thank you so much for requesting!!! i see you in my inbox bestie and i promise i’ll get back to you love!! also your constant support really is one of the reasons i keep posting so thank you so much for indulging me 🫶🏽

After baby leaves the berzatto household carmy literally has zero clue what to do with himself, like man is just staring at his bedroom door 30 minutes later trying to figure out if what just happened was real or just his imagination.

He definitely brushes his fingers across his lips a couple of times, tingles racing through his body every time he thinks about your lips on his.

Carmy goes to sleep happy that night his mind full of visions of you as he finally lays his head to rest.

Sunday rolls around and he’s feeling a bit anxious that neither of you have seen or spoken to each other since that night.

Carmy is freaking out like it genuinely hasn’t even been a full 24 hrs since the moment the two of you shared and he’s sure he scared you off. Maybe you just kissed him back because you felt sorry for him man is running through all the worst scenarios in his head.

He’s definitely picked up the phone to call you and typed out messages but was too scared to do either one in fear of rejection or worse in fear of ruining your already rocky friendship.

At some point, he just relegates himself to finishing some English final essay to keep his mind off of you (it obviously doesn’t work).

It’s getting later as the day passes by and Carmy’s just staring at the few words in the notebook and the eraser marks decorating the page.

The sound of his phone vibrating against the table pulls him from his thoughts and that boy is racing from his seat to answer it, no hesitation no checking the caller ID nothing.

He answers breathlessly and calls your name with a smile on his face because who else would be calling him?

The devastation radiates off of him as Claire’s voice rings into his ears. He gives her an uninterested “Oh, hi.” Mans is not happy at all but he was raised right so he indulges her.

Carmy zones out as soon as he realizes it’s not you, moving through the living room to peek through the curtains at your house, your car is still in the driveway so you must be home, maybe he can go see you after this phone call.

Claire’s voice drifts through his ears asking where he’s at and homeboy is confused most of his focus going to how he’s gonna get his girl who isn’t yet his girl.

And then he remembers before his moment with you, before he knew what it felt like to feel the soft caress of your lips, the weight of your body in his lap. Claire asked him to lunch and he said yes!

He stumbles over his words, he can easily tell Claire that he’s not interested, that there’s someone else. But only an asshole would do something like that over the phone. So with one last look at your car, he decides he’ll meet up with Claire, let her down easy, and then you and him can figure out what this is between the two of you.

Carmy uses the back entrance not wanting to engage with any of the many people crowded in line at the front of the shop, easily finding Claire alone at a table a sigh of relief escaping him that she hadn’t chosen yours and his special table.

It’s awkward for the first few minutes after he sits down. He promised himself he’d start by admitting to Claire that he thought she was nice and pretty even, but that he realized he was in love with someone else.

Claire breaks the ice before he can even get his little speech out, maybe he’ll wait till the end of this little hangout maybe that would save the awkwardness of having to eat with someone you admitted you didn’t have feelings for.

Somehow the two of them go from awkward conversation to joking around about the previous night at prom.

Carmy’s back is to the entrance so he doesn’t take notice of your presence but he watches as Claire’s eyes drift from his face her eyes lighting up hand waving with gusto as she says your name.

Carmy doesn’t even need to turn around to see you, a heavy weight growing at the bottom of his stomach, but he does anyway and the way you avoid his eyes is enough proof that this whole situation upset you.

He doesn’t even give Claire a second thought before he’s out of his seat trying to find you, the muffled cries leaving the walk-in lead him straight to you, and he can’t help the annoyance that builds up in him at hearing Mikey’s voice.

His older brother, always there to save the fucking day. He stays a bit longer just listening to you sob and he knows he was the cause of your anguish.

Carm returns to Claire and apologizes for leaving and he doesn’t explain anything but he can see the sadness in her eyes as a silent conversation passes between the two of them her eyes watering with her hurt and realization.

Claire was kind enough to offer him a ride home, but Carmy decided to walk home, he didn’t know how he could live with the weight of making two girls cry in one day.

On the tedious walk home, Carmy comes to the decision that it’s best if he just lets you believe what you want. You’ll be gone soon and there’s no point in clearing anything up, no point in putting his feelings about you into words if the two of you will be apart soon.

So he self-sabotages allows you to think he’s the bad guy (i mean he kinda is lol) doesn’t clear up what you think you saw, and doesn’t address the kiss and intimate moment he initiated.

And as the days tick down to your departure he watches you grow closer to Hayden, ignoring Claire’s questioning looks as she tries to understand why you and Carmy aren’t together yet.

The time comes for your departure and he’s built up some false confidence about telling you the truth about everything but he chokes. Wishes you luck in college and mutters promises about keeping in touch, promises he knows are a lie as soon as he speaks them because he doesn’t think he could pretend to be happy for you knowing his own happiness lies with you.

a/n: gosh do i love making these two suffer, there’s some tidbits in here that i might expand on in a carmy interlude i have planned but only time will tell. enjoy!

#etherealising’s 1k celebration #carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmy the bear x reader #carmy berzatto x you #the bear fic #the bear x reader #the bear x you #fem!reader #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

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chiiyuuvv · 2 months

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xikers as descendants tropes!

descendants!xikers x fem!reader 1.3k words requested!

▸ 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺?

Mal and Ben’s dynamic has been pretty cute over the first two movies. The constant “I can’t do it” , “Yes you can, I'm right here with you.” personally warms my heart to see the level of assurance and comfort that takes place between the two characters.

If Minjae fitted into Mal’s character, he would definitely need a bit (a lot) of reassurance, and that's okay! He could be stressed out about producing or school, and your kind words would make the time go by a little faster. One thing I noticed is that Mal is trying to live up to her parents' expectations, so I could see the same with Minjae and his parents. Maybe they wanted him to go the typical doctor route, but he knows deep down that he loves producing. Being there with him and helping along the way, showing, telling him that he is his own person and that he should find his own light will definitely make him shed a tear. Of joy, of course.

If Hunter fitted into Ben's character, I can definitely see all the sweet gestures and words he would give you. Sure, you may have argued the previous day, but Hunter would do everything in his power to break the ice, and talk to you about it – resolve the situation. The amount of pet names he would give you would make your head spin because he truly wants you to know how special you are and how much you mean to him. He definitely is your prince charming.

Evie and Doug over the first two movies have been super cute, but not that much action should I say? Compared to Mal and Ben, their storyline hasn't been as clear. One minute they're sharing glances, then the next minute they're talking as friends/classmates? I think Disney could have done a better job at connecting everything (this is based off of the first two movies btw) but, this is obviously love at first sight, and he fell first, yet she fell harder 🤭

If Junmin fitted into Doug's character, I could definitely see him play the more nerdy role. Junmin knows a few things and despite the stereotypes given to Evie (or to you), he'd be more than willing to help you out.. study together.. indirectly asking for your number/a date. This is so junmin. He would be a little shy at first because of his newfound feelings, but once you get closer and he gets to know you more, he'd be a little flirty, touchy, smiley.. are you picking up what I'm putting down?

If Hyunwoo fitted into Evie's character, I feel like hyunwoo would have this desire to kind of fit in, but through Doug (or you again), he would learn to be more of himself. I don't really know what I'm saying for this one, but hyunwoo would feel more like himself whenever he's with you. He'd be a little oblivious to your liking towards him, but once you start talking more and befriend each other, he'd kind of get slapped with that feeling, and fall even harder than before.

Again, Disney didn't really do a good job connecting everything when it comes to Jay and Lonnie. There were some things that didn't make as much sense.. but I'm still going to write about them 🫡 In the second movie, Lonnie says wordlessly that girls can do the same things as boys, and in the few scenes, they showcase how astonish yet proud Jay is to see her go. In the end, Jay gives away his captain role so Lonnie could still play with them, without breaking the rules.

If sumin fitted into Jay's character, which I can definitely see btw, he’d almost be like a frat boy; insanely good looks and he’s good at sports too?? The girls are drooling over him. And sumin acknowledges that, yet he doesn't decide to hook up with a random girl (he prob did but this is a kids movie for god's sake) because he shows respect to them. He’d, again, be shocked to see a girl that’s so courageous like you, and that would give his heart a little ping. Who knows, he might even invite you to the school dance ;)

If Junghoon fitted into Lonnie’s character, I think he would fall for someone who allows him to be himself (?) Like since Lonnie issn’t the traditional girl and Jay didn’t try to do anything to interfere with that, you know? He thinks to himself, “wow.. I’m able to be my complete self around her,” and he’d definitely showcase that in your presence. And if you return the energy? He’s jumping off the walls on the inside, but giving a small smile to hide his happiness.

I remember watching Descendants 2 when I was little and grinning whenever Jane and Carlos came on the screen. Their love life is honestly what I daydream about, and I’m not jealous obviously. Carlos spends his time on the movie pining for Jane, but is too nervous to tell her about it. He does confess to Jane, but it’s through this ramble confession that makes my heart flutter :((

If jinsik fitted into Jane’s character, he’d be a little (very) oblivious to your feelings. Like you want to go out for coffee because you like being around him? He’d think it's some kind of compliment or maybe because you want to get some homework done or something. So he does accidentally put you into the friend zone which you desperately want to escape, but he probably won’t realize his feelings unless you confess to him and basically put him on the spot. Because this feeling is so sudden, he would want to start everything slow, just so he can adjust to it all.

If yechan fitted into Carlos’s character, which I can definitely see btw pt. 2, he would use his more silly and whimsical side to get your attention, and to get some laughter bubbling out of you. When he starts to get all fuzzy while hearing your laughter, he knows he’s fallen deep, and things start to get a little awkward. Maybe that’s why you accidentally friend zone him? But just know that he’s been practicing his confession on his friends (they all hate it), and he feels prepared.. He just needs to find the right moment ;) pt. 2

For the third time, Disney doesn’t do a good job at explaining Uma and Harry’s ship, so this is all based on something I found on the internet. Uma and Harry’s dynamic is more like teasing your best friend, but knowing that they will always have your back and vice versa. They also have more perks, like giving away something that means a lot to them to the other. (*cough cough* Harry giving uma his hook) They are very silly around each other but know when to get serious!

If seeun fitted into Harry’s character, he’d definitely be your personal trickster, only giving you sly smiles whenever he gets caught. You also have lots of childhood memories that you both adore, sometimes spending your shared time giggling under your pillow fort together. Not only that, but seeun is also your personal bodyguard. You don’t like how someone looks at you? He’d do everything in his power to separate the both of you, and if the person gets mad, he is there to take any hits. He is very loyal to his bestie. Heck, he’d even take your side when he knows that you’re in the wrong.

If yujun fitted into Uma’s character, he would be a little more assertive through your teachings, and loyal as a dog to you. You were most likely childhood besties, so you’d always have a special place in his heart. If you were to give him something that meant a lot to you, he’d honestly get a little teary eyed, because it shows that he means a lot to you too :(( You are definitely his comfort place, and he’d do everything in his power to protect the one he loves.

︴bonus! i loved this idea saur much! You know, despite disney making cringe movies, they actually have very good morals built into them. Like girls can do the same as boy, and you don't always have to follow your parents strict expections; it made me smile to that. Also, funny story, I was taking notes while watching the films and then I come back the next day to find the notes gone?! Turns out it was saved to a different file which is weird.. anyways please request for more fun headcanons!

▸ taglist 🎧 @lil-elle , @hyunukitty , @cake1box , @mars101 , @nenede , @wonootnoot , @pinievsev , @yuniniverse , @hunchan444 , @s00buwu , @cherrycolaberry , @yoiiwonn , @kookieswithjung , @hakyunz (welcome!)

🎬 navi

@chiiyuuvv on tumblr . do not steal works/headers/line dividers

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pixiedustandfairypowers · 7 months

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The Mario/Bowser/Peach love triangle will always be the funniest thing to me

I know many of you are thinking that it's not really a love triangle since one of them is clearly more evil than the other and there's absolutely no chance that Peach would ever actually get together with Bowser... right?

I dunno about you, but it seems to me that this kind of reaction is a bit more than just being worried that he's going to hurt his friend. The second one especially is in the context of a scene where Bowser starts offering Peach flowers and this panicked reaction seems to indicate that Mario has some sort of insecurity that she might WILLINGLY choose Bowser over him. Like the whole ordeal that she had been through wouldn't be enough to turn her off of Bowser completely.

And Bowser himself was quite insecure throughout the 2023 movie:

"So like Peach was super impressed?"

"Does the Princess like him?"

"DO PRINCESSES FIND HIM ATTRACTIVE!?!?"

Also another way that they're similar:

Even when they're imprisoned all they can think about is their love for her while there's romantic song playing.

Mario is obviously a good guy but his motives for rescuing Peach seem less than perfect, as on some level he just really wants to be with her and I think he's under the impression that for all the obstacles he clears for her to rescue her, that Peach might one day reciprocate his feelings. And in Bowser's case, he thinks that kidnapping her and giving her all the best things in the world would win her over: the finest dress, the finest cake, a wedding on the moon, he'd even steal a powerful star so they could be invincible together.

I also think that both guys feel insecure because the other has something that he doesn't: in Mario's case, he's just a lowly plumber who has feelings for a princess, and there's no way that someone of his status would ever be interesting to someone like her. And in Bowser's case, he may be a king and have many riches to be proud of but he's also not human and therefore has reason to be insecure about whether or not a princess could ever find a turtle like him to be attractive.

But as we all know, she just straight up rejects both of them.

"Enough!"

But with the way she's scolding them, it's like she's putting both of them ON THE SAME LEVEL, like she's just tired of constantly being caught up in their silly love rivalry where at the end of the day, it was all just a way for them to show off and win her over without really taking the time to consider her feelings at all. Even if she did truly have romantic feelings for Mario somewhere, do you really think her priority is trying to navigate those when she's under the constant stress of being kidnapped and running a kingdom to go with it?

On some level, I'm not really sure I ever want this love triangle resolved. It's just too funny otherwise. This idea that Mario and Bowser are actually friends deep down...

...but all of their fighting, their famous deep seated rivalry, is not so much due to them hating each other personally, but instead it's all because of a girl.

#fan theory #super mario bros #bowser #mario #princess peach #powser #mareach #super mario odyssey #the super mario bros movie #super mario bros anime #shipping

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stevenbasic · 3 months

Text

Growing into the Job, Post 377: The Beginnings of Empire

“Do we have to watch the news?” Julia asked, pouring a half-refill into Josie’s red solo cup, which she’d balanced on her what-could-almost-be-called prodigious chest. Fed by each of Dr. J's little expulsions at Missy’s hand, it was becoming quite the nice cup holder.

Josie Jensen liked these kind of nights. Even if it was a Tuesday, even if they needed to work the next day, even if they weren’t out partying. Being together, with the girls, just felt right. The group of them - Randi, Amelia and Julia, and her new friend Lakshmi - had been at the Tipsy Taco earlier this evening. The 'Missy' effect or what some of the girls were calling the 'Blissy' effect or simply ‘the Bliss’, had come during their first round of drinks. Missy and Dr. J were obviously having fun together somewhere and it was making the buttons nearly pop on all their tops. Nice way to start the evening! Now completely full, they were vegged-out, gorged to the gills on hamburgers at Josie’s place. Lounging around, watching TV. Amelia was doing Lakshmi’s nails. Julia had made them some more margaritas. Josie felt bloated and chubby and somewhat regretting her little binge.

All of them sorta missed Melissa and - what the fuck, why could they feel it in their bones like this? - Dr. J. The dude was a nerd but nnnngh, maybe they’d get some more Bliss off him in a bit. Odds were good, since they could all still feel that Missy and J were still together.

“There’s a new episode of ‘Stinkers!…we should watch that,” Julia suggested.

“Oooo our patient is in that, right?” called Lakshmi.

“Yah,” answered Randi, voice extra-smoky tonight. She’d been showing off her new skills of getting big shit into her mouth at the bar, freaking out some guys. Her hand, one of their hands. A pint glass. It was quite the trick. “Adrienne’s like, taking over that house with those new tits of hers.”

“She’s getting so pretty,” someone commented.

“Dude, no, this is important,” Josie replied, raptly watching CNN over the rim of her margarita and trying not to let its plastic straw poke up into her right nostril.

Her mom had started back to work recently, at first a marketing consultant for a bunch of 'New Woman' campaigns, and now she was transitioning to more permanent positions on staff with a few of the recently-elected women headed to Washington. So, Josie had picked up the politics bug over the past few months; it was really fascinating. The world was changing so fast, and it got her excited.

“I’m taping ‘Stinkers!’ anyway, we can watch that after this,” Josie allowed.

It was a cool reality show, but she really wanted to see what was happening in East Makata.

“What’s the U.N.’s reaction to this going to be?” came the anchor’s question to their guest, a sweaty doof with a comb-over.

It had just been reported earlier today. Some company had taken over a small country. Listening to the anchor-lady behind the news desk, and the guy she was interviewing tell it, it sounded like something between a coup d’etat and a purchase. It hadn’t really made big headlines, but Josie had seen it and there was something about the story that gripped her.

“Where’s Makata anyways?” Julia, the shapely redhead among them asked. She emptied the last of her pitcher into Amelia’s empty cup.

“East Makata,” Josie corrected.

“It is in Central Africa,” Lakshmi offered, nodding at the map on the big screen over her shoulder.

“Kind of near Wakanda?” Julia posited.

“Wakanda’s fake,” Amelia retorted, “East Makata’s not. You’d know that if you ever paid attention in Geography.”

“I never heard of it,” Julia shrugged, walking away back towards the kitchen ostensibly to make another pitcher.

Josie rolled her eyes. She guessed the similarities were there: tiny African nation, pretty isolated, landlocked. Removed from lots going on in the larger world. But, unlike Wakanda, East Makata was poor as fuck and beset by constant violence and the machinations of warlords. This big corporation, it was kind of ambiguous which one still, though this guy had his theories, had come in and bankrolled their way into power. How they were going to run it was still unclear.

“Isn’t the company this guy’s talking about the same one that we think kinda owns Evolution?” asked Randi.

“The Russian thing?”

“I did not think the Collective was in the business of politics,” Lakshmi offered.

“I guess they are now,” drawled Amelia. She was starting with a clear coat of polish on Kiki’s left hand. “All hail The Great Mother, right?”

Amelia’s comment made Josie tingle, and her hair wiggled on the sofa pillow beside her. If it was KOLECTV, and the Eastern European conglomerate was everything she’d heard, this was super-cool news, thrilling. East Makata, an actual nation, was now in the hands of women. Not just governed - that was happening everywhere, around the world - but owned. Women controlled it completely. They could do anything.

“They’re a small nation, yes, but I’ve been watching this unfold for a while now,” came the guy’s onscreen voice as he defended his positions, “and my investigations have shown that this ‘Collective’ and its network of subsidiaries has been purchasing up land in the surrounding countries as well. And doing similar things worldwide. The U.N., or someone, really has to step in.” The guy had begun to drone. “It’s the responsibility of the larger world to-“

The girls all watched, but attention had started to wane.

“This guy sounds like a tool.”

“He’s definitely mansplaining.”

That should be a federal offense, Josie mused to herself, maybe it will be someday. She pulled the red solo cup from out of her top, took one long drag of a sip, and put it aside.

“Who is this reporter guy anyway?” asked Randi, “Some author?”

“I dunno,” Amelia said dryly, “I’m sure he’ll disappear soon.”

"Yeah.. "

“Hey, wanna put on ‘Stinkers!’?”

“Sure.”

…

“...I miss Dr. J,” someone said.

“Me too,” Josie answered, pulling her phone from out her top.

“Yeah I could really use some cock right now,” Randi chuckled, stretching her jaw and bringing giggles from others.

Josie opened up her phone, raised it above herself to take a picture.

“Let’s send him a kiss…”

===========================

big thanks to RiF for some above-and-beyond editing, and my usual team of ninja assassins for guidance

#growing into the job

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asmogorna · 2 months

Note

Sorry to send another ask so soon (and idk if someones asked this already) but if you have any headcanons for Jon I'd love to hear them!

OK SO im really sorry it took me THIS long to get to this i quite literally.. forgot i had smth in my inbox woopsies. the reason i remembered is cause mootie posted some Spine hcs and i was like "woah"

alsooo im not good at putting my thoughts onto "paper" especially in english so you will have to excuse me

anywho my jon headcanons some sad some random /ref

First of all i think that his relationship with Peter Walter I would be far from close. he would be seen as the type of child who's both "too much mess to take care of" and "strong enough to take care of himself" if that makes sense. Peter did love him as his creation but would openly admit that he's not his proudest one, meanwhile Jon wouldn't feel much connection at all. he sympathized with his creator but only in a way he would with any other human being, there was more gratitude than love

Jon struggles with constant malfunctions and his mechanisms are a mess (partially because he gets himself in trouble all the time), so at one point Peter would get tired of fixing him so frequently, and tell him that he can just "walk some things off". That thought stuck to the bot and he would think of all of his malfunctions as slight inconveniences, i mean, he can still perform so why pay attention to the constant neck pain or powering up struggles ? it just became a habit and he kind of forgot that things like that shouldn't be ignored

After a long while when Peter Walter VI grew up enough to start learning more about how automatons work, Jon would be used as a "lab rat" (not really but its just what he himself called it) for young VI to practice fixing mechanisms. thats pretty much when he heard "Wait this cant be right" about his messed up physical state for the first time in a long while. little Peter didnt get to fix all of the things that were wrong with Jon's body, but he did manage to take care of some of them, which almost surprised Jon with how nice it felt to not hear pieces of broken gears rattle in his head every time he moved (who wouldve thunk)

ok now to more lighthearted stuff !!

Jon actually has a very strong bond with Sam ! He loves watching the mustached man work and sometimes follows him around, just enjoying his company. At first Sam thought that the tone-gold automaton was creepy and uncanny, but grew attached to him and his stupidity (/lh). i also think that Sam would be one of the few Walter workers who dont baby the Jon and actually treat him like they would treat any other robot :3

Also Jon just loves his robot family endlessly. shocker !! im not sure how explain it but i think hes the only one to look at other Walter automatons and go "bro i love them so much" at all times. in his head at least. obviously he teases them and argues with them but he wont think twice before accepting a hug from his siblings (except for Upgrade theyre rivals /j)

Speaking of Upgrade !! They feel the most sibling-ish to me (aside from Rabbit & The Spine) because they constantly poke fun at each other yet they still are willing to give each other help and comfort when needed. She once had to carry him all the way back to the Walter manor because they forgot to take some extra cans of crystal pepsi

Also Upgrade got in an accident once which caused her to have a fractured face for a couple of days, and Jon was there the entire time to comfort her and constantly tell her that shes still very pretty

Unlike with other robots, the food that Jon eats doesnt just fall through his uncovered jaw/run into his boiler or anything like this, instead it just. disappears. once he closes his mouth the food just vanishes into the unknown, yet Jon claims that he enjoys the process of "eating" (nobody knows how it works)

LITTLE GIRLS THAT GO TO SPG SHOWS LOVE HIM !! once the band finishes performing, he constantly gets pulled away by a small giggling pink-ish blob to join their tea party or hula hooping contest. thats why he has quite a knowledge on "girly" themes and educates other automatons on the matter

THATS IT FOR NOW TY FOR READING :3

#steam powered giraffe #spg #the jon spg #idk how to tag this uh #i love jon #i love him sm #hes my girlfriend #spg headcanons

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mysteryman-17 · 4 months

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* MUSTACHE GIRL EX ATK 180 DEF 280 * Guess she did have a breaking point, after all. * ...There must be a way to get through to her.

Time’s End is an AHIT/Undertale crossover AU of sorts, taking place in the aftermath of a timeline where you lose the final boss fight against Mustache Girl. You can find the write-up here! In addition, you can find the write-ups for the Neutral Endings and TimeWarp Route Requirements on Google Drive! The logo for Time's End was designed by @bittybattybunny. She's an incredible artist, be sure to check out their work here on Tumblr and over on Twitter!! Like holy FUCK, I can not stress enough how awesome they are to work with. They're amazing!!

Motifs:

Mustache Girl EX

Main Theme/Title Screen

Reflections Past

Judge, Jury and Executioner

You can also listen to this track in high quality on the AU’s SoundCloud here! The rest of the description is underneath the Read More.

Mustache Girl takes on a hybrid Asgore and Asriel role. Already feeling trapped and conflicted, her emotions are finally pushed over the edge when an incredibly large group of people -- though it feels more like the entire world with how suffocating the crowd is -- barge into her throne room and hurl insults her way, telling her to "get lost!" among other things …and (almost) all in the name of Bow Kid, mirroring what happened years ago to a disturbing degree. Finally overwhelmed by all her painful thoughts and emotions bubbling back to the surface, she snaps and violently shatters a Time Piece in a fit of rage. And thus history is made to repeat itself once more. But this time, something's different.

BABY'S FIRST HOPES AND DREAMS REPLACEMENT FOR THE WIN :D Also Happy belated New Year to all my peeps here on Tumblr lmao But ye, this is actually happening! Aside from using similar instruments (and a somewhat loose idea for the very beginning of my track,) this is very deliberately unfaithful to the typical H&D structure. Knew right away that I wanted to use Mustache Girl EX as the base for this track, and that sticking too rigidly to the structure of any other H&D would do a disservice to the feel I wanted to go for: that same kick-you-in-the-dick level of power from Mu EX, but with a LOT more of a melancholy vibe underlying all that fury. Plus, bit of a fun fact: adjustments have been made since obviously, but the first "complete" mixing draft of this track was finished on New Year's Eve 2023! (This kind of constant revising is why the His Theme track is still not done on my part btw lmaooooo.) Also… I'll fully admit something here. For the first time on a track I've done, the drumbeat's backbone is comprised of loops I got when I bought Mixcraft 10 (especially with some of the things they were offering during the first week of its launch,) and the only supplemental VST I used was Abbey Road 80's Drummer for the left panned hi-hats. I know that EDM-type stuff similar to the actual Mu EX track is completely out of my wheelhouse, and I didn't want to royally screw up the drum pattern with this different metal-ish take on it, seeing as those are something I have a TON of trouble with. All things considered, drumline came out ok! And ye on the whole, I'm incredibly happy with this track, and it's easily the most ambitious arrangement I've done to date (and the most difficult too in some aspects.) Hope you all enjoy! :)

#a hat in time au #ahit au #ahit mustache girl #mustache girl #deltarune #undertale #undertale au #ahit time's end au #time's end au #AHIT:TE!AU #a hat in time music #ahit music #music #audio #Hopes and Dreams

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farfromrealitypls · 1 year

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What’s hidden under the mask?

Summary: You finally got a glimpse of the real Rafe and now you want to see it all.

Warnings: little bit of smut, little angst, language and fluff<3

A/n: I hope you enjoy reading this one! I’m sorry for always making JJ the bad guy, I actually love him! But someone needs to be… Let me know if you have any requests for some stories<3

The music was blasting through the whole house. People were getting drunk, dancing and making out.

Since the party took place at a house right in the middle of figure eight and the cut, it was kooks AND pouges. You were happy you could convince all of your pouge friends to go with you.

It was fun so far and you were currently sitting on a bar stool, sipping some weird drink from your red cup, waiting for JJ to come back. You kinda lost the rest of the squat.

You took a look around the party, you thought the whole “kooks against pouges”thing was stupid, so you loved seeing everyone together, just having a good time.

Everyone except the “death squat” Rafe Cameron and his two Minions Topper and Kelce were the worst type of “kooks”, worst type of PEOPLE to be real. They were so convinced to be some kind of elite and thinking pouges were trash, not good enough to hang around near figure eight.

They were arrogant, snorting coke at the country club and spending daddy’s money.

So you hated to admit, that Rafe Cameron was by far the hottest guy on the island, even more. If he wasn’t such a piece of shit, you might actually give him a chance.

Since you were technically a kook, living on figure eight and your mom dragging you to all the fancy events, you saw him quite often. You also went to the same Highschool with him on figure eight. He hit on you multiple times, making stupid comments and telling you how you’re “way to pretty to hang around on the cut” and that you should surround yourself with “the right kind of people”. He couldn’t wrap his head around why you would be friends with the pouges and why you would have a thing for that blonde beach boy (JJ).

But you always wondered what was under that mask that he’s constantly putting on, he can’t really be like that right? Not every second. Nobody is that grumpy all the time. You knew he had some trouble at home, especially with his father. You heard them argue multiple times and you knew he was giving Rafe a hard time.

You would just love to know what Rafe was like when it was just him, doing normal things like getting ready for bed or making breakfast.

You didn’t notice you were staring at him until he suddenly locked eyes with you from a cross the room. Giving you a cocky grin and winking at you. He looked really handsome tonight and you hated the fact that it made you blush. You were glad he was far away enough, not to notice. You quickly took your eyes off him and turned your body, your back facing him now. That’s when you saw JJ walking over with a blonde girl in nothing but hot pants and a bikini top, laughing obnoxiously and touching all over him. You felt your heart drop at that sight. You were raising an eyebrow and decided not to freak out quite yet.

“Y/n this is Jennifer. We uh- we dated once. We were just gonna hang out at the pool and talk a little, you should come.” The words poured out of him like this was totally okay.

Your jaw dropped and you felt the color draining from your face. He can’t be serious right now. You and JJ weren’t exactly dating, but you guys weren’t just friends either. Everyone knew that you guys were some kind of thing, but obviously you saw more in it than he did. You were so done with him and his constant mood swings. One minute he tells you you were all he needed and the next he’s all over some random chick.

You felt anger filling up your body and you wanted to smack his “fake clueless” look off his face. The blonde bimbo looked really satisfied when she realised you had a problem with them hanging out and that gave you the rest.

You got up from the stool and turned to leave.

“Oh you know, I was actually gonna go skinny dipping with Rafe Cameron so. You guys have fun” you said that louder than intended and suddenly more eyes than you would like, were on you.

“What did you just say?” He shoved the blonde off him and made a step towards you, tilting his head and looking irritated at your words.

You turned around one more time.

“Oh you heard me. Sorry, does that bother you? Here have a drink!” and with that you threw your cup at him. The liquor dripping from his face and soaking his T-shirt.

Some people were cheering and clapping at you, leaving JJ with a wet shirt and jaw clenched, you stormed off.

And you could feel all eyes on you, including Rafes. Your eyes met his for a second while walking out of the house.

When you finally made it outside you took a deep breath. It felt good to let all your anger out, he deserved it. And there was nobody JJ hated more than Rafe, that’s why it really got to him. Of course you only said that to piss him off and to be a brat. You stood there for a while, enjoying the light breeze and the faint music coming from the party.

“Hey doll face!”

Your head whipped around at that voice and you rolled your eyes when Rafe and his cocky grin appeared.

“Yeah. That’s not my name” you said annoyed, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

“You still turned around tho” he shrug his shoulders and kept grinning at you.

You scoffed and rolled your eyes once more.

“I heard we got plans tonight” he said with a shit eating grin scanning your body, not even trying to make it less obvious.

“And those are?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Well you just announced to the whole party that we’re going skinny dipping tonight” he licked his bottom lip and took a few steps towards you.

You unconsciously held your breath, he made your heart beat faster and you hated it. He looked absolutely perfect and the way he towered over you made your knees feel weak. But you knew better than to fall for the charm of Rafe Cameron.

“You wish” you laughed out loud and turned around to leave, escaping this situation. You didn’t have time for this right now. You started walking away from him.

“What if I was?” He yelled after you. Still standing at the same spot.

You turned around to answer him while you kept walking backwards.

“Well. Little rich boy needs to learn that he can’t have everything he wishes for” you blew him a kiss and left, swaying your hips because you knew you got him good.

Rafe smiled to himself and kept looking at you until you were completely out of sight.

“Why the fuck were to talking to her?”

Rafe chuckled when he heard that voice, turning around to face the blonde boy.

“Oh we just talked about how we were so excited to go skinny dipping you know, getting really close and shit. So if you would excuse me.” He walked off, bumping into JJ on purpose.

“Stay the fuck away from her” JJ brought out through gritted teeth.

Rafe scoffed, leaning closer to JJ.

“Watch me Maybank.” He whispered and left with a smug grin on his face.

It was quite the long walk from the party to your house, you forgot that you came with JJ on his bike. But the longer you walked, the less you felt like complaining about it. It was actually quite nice and it gave you time to unravel your thoughts. You decided to walk along the beach, there was just something about listening to the waves, something so peaceful. You sat down in the sand for a bit, just enjoying the night. You could still hear the music echoing through the night. You hugged your knees into your chest, resting your head on them.

The sound of footsteps approaching pulled you out of your relaxed state. You lifted your head and saw the tall figure of Rafe Cameron.

“Do you mind if I ruin your main character moment?”

You sighed and let you head fall back on your knees.

“Do I have a choice?” You mumbled.

“Not really.” He sat down next to you, looking at you.

“You’re not seriously upset about Maybank and that bimbo right?” He asked with a sarcastic undertone. Like it was ridiculous to be.

“I don’t need you to to lecture me Rafe” you still mumbled into your knees.

“Oh come on. You deserve someone better anyway. You’re way out of his League.”

“Let me guess. That better one is you?” You lifted your head up to look at him.

“It could be” he smiled and shrug his shoulders.

You scoffed.

“Yeah right. I don’t even really know you and what I DO know about you, hasn’t really been my cup of tea, thank you” you said mocking him and took your eyes off him again, looking at the ocean.

“I can be whoever you want me to be” he responded, not thrown off by your sassy response.

“I would like to know YOU. Like, the real Rafe” you said turning your head back to him, looking into his eyes which were filled with confusion.

He frowned and slightly tilted his head.

“You know? The one you are when you’re just by yourself. Not who you’re trying to be for your friends or anyone else” you kept going, trying to explain.

He gulped and his expression softened.

“Nah that Rafe sucks” he shook his head and broke the eye contact, turning his head away from you.

“Who says that?” you asked quietly and took in the sight of his perfect side profile. He looked so peaceful with the moonlight shining down on him.

He shrug and let his head drop.

“Come on. It must be so exhausting to constantly keep a certain image up, let that mask drop. Just this one time.” You said softly, almost with a whisper.

He sighed and turned his head to face you, locking eyes.

“What do you wanna know?”

“I don’t know- What did you wanna be when you grew up as a kid? What’s your favourite season? What’s your favourite hobby? What are you scared of? Anything” you didn’t expect him to really open up so you were stumbling over your words a little.

“I wanted to be a cop, I like summer, I like to surf and I’m scared of never being good enough” the answer came without hesitation.

He looked down at his feet, clenching his jaw, clearly surprised by himself for saying that out loud.

You were shocked for a second about his honest answer and tried forming the right words.

“I- I never knew you surf” you said with an empathic smile. Trying to let him feel that you appreciated him opening up.

“Yeah if you tell anyone, we’ll have a problem. It’s kind of a pouge thing and I don’t need anyone to know” he said, giving you a serious look.

“Got it” you giggled a little at his concern and it made him break out into a little smile too.

“Who taught you?”

“My mom” he looked back down.

You could clearly see him being uncomfortable talking about his mom. So you didn’t keep asking. He didn’t look intimidating anymore, he looked like a little boy.

Suddenly you felt really comfortable around him, the mask finally dropped and this is by far the Rafe you could learn to like the most. You felt him being tense and maybe regretting being so honest to you.

“Come on” you jumped up and signed for him to get up too.

He looked up at you confused.

“Why? Where are we going?” He questioned with a confused look on his face.

“We had plans remember?” You flashed him a smile and as soon as he caught on to what you were implying, he got up quickly and returned that smile.

He watched you as you pulled your sundress over your head and he gulped at the sight of you, only in your underwear.

He did the same, exposing his perfectly toned and tan body. You watched his muscles twitch as he was taking his pants off, it was hypnotising.

He locked eyes with you and watched your hand disappear behind your back, as you reached for the clasps of your bra, letting the straps slide of your shoulders and finally exposing your boobs to him.

He let out a deep growl at that sight and let his eyes wander over your body. Then he softly reached for your waist, pulling you into him, looking down at you. You rested your hands on his bicep and his face was only inches away from yours. He stared into your eyes and you almost felt dizzy.

“You look perfect” he said smiling.

You smiled back up at him, biting your bottom lip and gently ran your hands down to his chest, just to gently push him off you and ran towards the water.

“Let’s go!” You laughed out loud.

He chuckled at you and was quick to follow. You both ran into the water, diving under and coming up at the same time.

You pushed your wet hair out of your face and so did Rafe. He smiled at you and reached for you once again. He wrapped his big arms around your waist and you wrapped your legs around his. Your arms slung around his neck and you ran your fingers through his hair. You scanned his perfect face, his ice blue eyes, defined cheekbones and plump lips.

You gently took his face into your hands, running one thumb over his bottom lip and the other one tracing his strong jawline.

He was taking aback by your soft gesture and just stared into your eyes through his long, dark eyelashes.

“You’re so beautiful” you whispered to him and you could see him blushing.

He leaned closer into you and finally kissed you to hide his face. His soft lips were moving in perfect sync with yours and his hands traced up and down your back. The kiss became more heated and his touches became more rough. His hand traveled down to your ass and he gave it a soft squeeze. His tongue was tracing over your bottom lip, he pushed his body closer to yours and the feeling of his hard on pushing against your core made you moan. Rafe smiled into the kiss, your fingers tangled into his wet hair, lightly tugging on it, earning a low growl from Rafe. Your heart was racing and adrenaline rushing through your veins. Never have you wanted someone more than right now.

You pulled away for some air.

“Rafe i want you” you confessed out of breath.

“I want you too” he said with a raspy voice, placing kisses along you neck.

You threw your head back, giving him more access, when he started sucking on your sweet spot you let out a whimper and quickly pushed him off again.

“But I want to get to know you better”

He smiled and tugged a stand of hair behind your ear.

“Why don’t you stay at my place tonight and you can ask as many questions as you want”

You nodded and smiled back at him.

“And tomorrow I’ll take you out for dinner and you can ask even more questions”

“Deal” you chuckled.

He chuckled back and went in for another soft kiss. Who would’ve known that THIS was the Rafe hiding under the mask.

#rafe cameron #rafe x y/n #obx #obx imagine #outerbanks rafe #rafe obx #obx netflix #obx2 #rafe imagine #rafe outer banks #obx fic #outer banks #rafe fic #rafe x reader #rafe angst #imagine #rafe fanfiction #jj maybank #obx fandom

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rinbowaman · 1 year

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HHP - Chapter 9! (18+MDNI)

This is the story that neverrrrr eeeeends. lol. I'm on a roll yall, as a token for all the delays, and now tumblr is being kind to me, here is chapter 9. Ooooh its getting juicy.

Warnings: So....lots of rough (really rough sex) and surprise! It doesn't involve Ethan this time around. Heeseung kind of dips into his feels and goes beserk....there is a HUGE breeding kink and you....omg i'm sorry girl, but you have to suffer a little bit. Heesueng may be gentle but he does have his moments. Also, mention of drugging, creating porn, and non-consensual sex, is hinted and mentioned. Please enjoy the story.

A whole week went by, and you didn’t see any signs of Tiff’s presence. After her encounter with your Eden side, it seemed she took the warning to heart and had left you alone.

‘Thank God.’

It was a refreshing and embracing moment for you, considering it had been the first time that you were confronted by someone in a displeasing manner, and yet, you were able to handle it entirely on your own, well….with yourself and your other half. You embraced the sense of independence in your own emotional and mental strength. You could get used to having Eden around to balance out your ultimate gentle and ‘angelic’ nature, as Heeseung and Ethan would always remark.

The following weeks were delightful as life went back to being peaceful. Hanging out with the crew, Jake and Emily, you put everything behind you as everything was back to normal.

Doing your homework in Heeseung’s room at the frat home, a normal occurrence since the both of you practically lived with each other, mainly staying in his room as the frat house had a kitchen and all the amenities that your dorm lacked. With his frat brothers already having their girlfriends over in the same manner, it wasn’t an issue for anyone. On his bed, Heeseung, laid on his back with his head resting on his hands, both of his arms were at a natural bend at the elbows resting against his pillow.

The fact that he still had his hat on was adorable as it rested at a tilt forward, covering his eyes more so than usual as it hovered right above the bridge of his nose. His legs slightly crossed over, as he adorned a casual and relaxed pair of straight jeans, a loosely white Prada fitted t-shirt and a pair of athletic, black wrist bands that he placed on earlier from a small session of shooting hoops.

You admired for a moment as you sat at his desk, resting your chin on your hand as you took a moment to pause from some reading assignments you were engrossed in. He looked as if he was sleeping, yet the moment you softly spoke out his name, nearly whispering it, he hummed out in response.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Baby you know you don’t even have to ask, say whatever is on your mind.”

You chuckled at his often than constant reminder as you always displayed a form of politeness when preparing to ask or speak with him, which he appreciated and deeply found adorable, but emphasized how high you were above everything else in life, therefore, you were the queen who didn’t need permission to do anything, in his eyes.

“Come here.” He bids you in a calm and deep tone, still laying and not moving an inch from the form he laid in. His eyes remained shut, though you weren’t able to see.

You stood up from his desk and walk over. You wore one of his t-shirts, with nothing else but a pair of his favorite lace panties underneath. His broad and tall frame made his clothes look so much smaller than when you wore them, as they nearly fitted you like a mini dress, barely covering your upper thighs. Heeseung had expressed how much he loved your lace collection from various lingerie brands, but his favorite were all the black pairs that had the boy-short fit. You liked them as well, merely because they were comfortable and didn’t show any linings whenever you wore your clothes. For him, he obviously liked them for an entirely different reason.

Walking over to him, his t-shirt slightly rising as you crawl onto the bed, lifting a leg as you straddle on top, resting and sitting on top of his groin. Upon feeling your delicate weight submerging on to his pelvis, you felt him slightly buck upwards into you, the material of his jeans rubbing against your lace covered opening in between your thighs made you barely gasp as you hear him release a slow and steady sigh from feeling and hearing you.

Trying to remain focus, you ask him about his plans in Korea, realizing that you never asked about the details, nor did he ever take the initiative to explain them.

“If I do move with you to Korea…” you paused slightly as he tilted his head back just a tad, his cap was so far down over his eyes that you still couldn’t see them, especially from the view as you remained seated on top of him, but you could tell that he was somewhat displeased with your choice of wording as he gently cuts you off.

“If?”

“I mean ‘when’. Sorry…” you felt a little nervous as his tone went dangerously low for a moment before you clarified.

“Mmhmm.” He responds, indicating for you to continue. He issues another buck from his hips as you began to speak, it was amazing how he could lay there perfectly still with his hands resting on the back of his head, using pure core strength to lift your weight as he slightly pelts against your sensitive spot.

“What are your plans for when you get there? What should I expect…it’s just to prepare myself. I want to know more about what to look forward to for our future.” You softly ask as you place your hands on his chest, leaning just slightly in. He remained still, unchanged from his position.

He hummed for a second, as if he was pondering what to say.

After a minute of silence, he places his hands on your hips, his thumbs rubbing your pelvic bones as his remaining fingers wrap around your back.

“I’ll be working with my brother in the family business…”

You inquired about the family ‘business’ as you were somewhat intrigued, the mere fact that he continued to be vague wasn’t really doing you or him any favors.

“Yeah.”

“Could you…maybe give me a little more detail?”

“I really wanted to wait closer to graduation, but….my dad and his friend own a company out there.”

“What…company?”

“It’s more like a corporation.”

“……And?” you inquired, beginning to get a little frustrated at him remaining vague.

“….Hybe.”

“…….The music company?”

“Mmhmm.”

“……..”

You were somewhat stunned, more so internally as you remained composed on the outside. Why was he always so vague about this? His father has to be one of the most well-respected businessmen in the country if he operates that company Yet, why did he come off as if he was ashamed to talk of it. Youl understood that he was a humble man, modest than most, but something in his tone gave off more than what he was saying.

“….Why didn’t you ever say anything before? And what do you plan on doing within the company?”

He took a second, biting the inside of his cheek, his cap still covering his eyes.

“I enjoy writing and producing, but I also like to mentor the artists. The deal with my dad was that if I take over after college, since he’s retiring, and manage the company headquarters in Korea for five years, my older brother will be finished with both his Masters and PhD programs, and from there and I can choose to manage the headquarters in Japan, California, or continue staying in Korea and work for my brother, and continue making music.”

“You have an older brother?”

“Mmhmm. He knows about you.”

“He does?”

“Mmhmm. My whole family does.”

Widening your eyes, he never told you that he had already told his family the details about you and your guys’ relationship. You felt a little terrible since you hadn’t disclosed the finer details of Heeseung to your family, only just that you had a boyfriend who wasn’t Samuel, which they were happy to hear as you appeared much more vibrant when speaking of him, according to them.

“Heeseung….why didn’t you say anything sooner? I’m kind of confused.”

He starts to roll your hips as his hands grip tightly around you, bulking the material of his shirt in between his hands, causing you to moan aloud. You place your hands over his, trying to peel them off and inhibit him from continuing the act of moving your body, feeling that he was distracting you on purpose.

“Heeseung please…”

He doesn’t stop, in fact, he continues at a faster pace.

“I told them about you a while ago. I planned on telling you the day I graduate, but since you know now…and about my future, all you need to know is that I’m going to have the means to take care of you….and our kids.”

Your fingers dig into his skin as you appreciated him opening up, finally, yet you still wanted to have the conversation in a sincere manner and tried your best to remove his hands from your body, which had changed the location of their grip from your hips to your waistline. Continuing his sordid performance, he continues to speak, his breathing growing heavy.

“You’re going to be very happy. You’re going to have a good life, and you’re going to smile for me every day.”

You were losing yourself as he continued to force you to succumb to the act of dry humping.

“You’re going to be a beautiful mother to our kids, and you’re going to be the pride and joy of my parents, my reason for living.” He continues, and by this point, he had you bouncing as you felt him use his strength to lift you and bring you back down, slamming your barely covered core down on the rough material of his jeans.

“Uh! Hee-Heeseung!” you gasped out in moans as you call out his name.

“Whatever you want in life, whatever you need, all you have to do is tell me, just ask. There is nothing in the world I wouldn’t do for you.”

He continues, increasing his speed.

“You’re going to be loved. You’re going to be treated like a queen, people are going to look at you…and realize that you’re mine. You got that?”

“Y-ye…yes!” You struggled to issue out your words as the gasping moans increased as your soft spot felt the hard hits of his groin, which he now was bucking upwards in sync as he bounced you against it. Feeling his length beneath the denim hardening, as it aligns with the direct center of your slit, the sensation of the rock-hard muscle with the bulky material started to make you tremble. Your hair flew all around you as he added a rigorous nature to the act.

“Do you? Do you fucking understand, y/n? That you’re going to be fucking happy.” He speaks through gritted teeth as his grip around you becomes rough.

Taking a pause, allowing for you to catch your breath, he finally gives you closure.

“I should of told you sooner, I wanted to… I just thought it would have been best to tell you when I graduated. I figured it would be worth the wait.”

Taking a hand as he spoke, he reaches over to his zipper, undoing it as he digs out the massive length and girth with his hand. Scooting your panties aside, he uses his fingers to hook on the material, pulling them harshly as if he didn’t care about ripping his favorite pair of lace underwear that you had on.

Acting calm and as if he was casually conversing, he continued to guide the tip inside.

“I told you I had it taken care of, right? I told you I had a plan, I wasn’t lying. I figured you knew that so….thought there was no worries on waiting to tell you.”

You felt the sting of his tip as he pushes it in.

His length inching inside, he was nearly in all the way. It amazed you how he was able to stay composed and continue conversing while he was literally penetrating you. A huge knot rushed up from your gut to your chest as your mouth became fully opened and gasping out for dear life.

There was something so…lustful about the man as he continued to do acts of debauchery to you, yet acting so smooth as he carried out the flow of the conversation.

As he reached inside your deepest part, fully in as you rest atop the base of his groin, completely full, you felt as if he was pushing all of your internal organs up as his throbbing member began to flicker inside. He was doing that on purpose no doubt, as he loved seeing your reaction of pain, discomfort, and pleasure whenever he did so. With a low tone, dangerously low, he speaks once more, noticing that whenever he pulled you down harder, and steadied you as he kept you pressed down on his length for a moment, the gasp of your voice carried with the air that forced out was the most pleasant thing he heard all day.

“But now that you know….” He paused, using a hand to slightly lift up the shirt you wore so he could witness his full entry as the sight of his cock completely merged inside of you, out of sight, he slightly smirks.

“I guess that means we can really try…” he says softly, swallowing a hard, yet gentle gulp as his smirk disappears. Realizing that he was talking about conceiving, you were about to speak out when the sudden sensation destroyed your senses as you felt the sudden strength of his hands, his arms, and his core lift you repeatedly, slamming you down. He made you bounce in a ferocious tempo. For a moment, you thought that his Ethan had emerged, yet he wasn’t there. This was all Heeseung, like you’ve never seen before. He was so powerful, demanding, sincere and rough.

Not giving you a chance to formulate any words, he makes your body bounce on his length as his hands move down to your rear, slipping under the oversized t-shirt you were wearing, he cradles each cheek as you feel him lift and push down. The rhythm he established was the fastest, considering he didn’t have the slightest bit of his Ethan side present. He was fast, too fast, and too hard.

Something about Heeseung’s rough and demanding demeanor did something as you suddenly reached orgasm and came within seconds of him making you bounce, he cums as well, yet he doesn’t stop. He continued with the same tempo and level of intensity, causing you to cum again within minutes, again he follows suit as he streams his fluid inside you, yet, he keeps going.

You both cum again, he keeps thrusting. Incorporating a simultaneous act of bucking up, pushing you down, lifting you, groping you, and biting his lip, you were beyond all help as you felt your body growing terribly weak and limp.

You both cum yet again, and Heeseung, continues, only issuing out his groans each time he came.

You were starting to feel incredibly sore, and the effects of overstimulation caused you physical turmoil. You scream out, putting forth your best effort into shoving and pushing his hands away yet his firm grip was glued onto you. Reaching around to grab on to his wrists as his hands remained latched onto your rear, you begged him to stop, unable to take any more after you both had cum for the 7th time in a row.

“He-Heeseung stop! Stop it! Ple-please! N-no more!” you seriously begged, yet he ignored you as evident by his performance of not only continuing, but once again, he increases the intensity and speed.

Unable to see his face with the bill of his cap covering the majority of it, the only portion that was revealed was just the tip of his nose and his mouth, which displayed a smirk filled with tension as he bit his lip.

With one hand moving up, just for a moment, he raises it to your upper back. The sudden force you felt of him pushing you down harshly as your chest met with his caused you to scream into his pillow as you felt the hand move back down to grab on to your rear once more.

As you lay forward, your body completely melted into his, the momentum drastically changed as you felt his hands conducting a push-pull method that was much deliberate and harsher as you felt your rear suspending up in the air and being pressed down while your chest remained intact with his.

“Sto-stop! Too…too much!” you felt the tears streaming down, as you cried out. There wasn’t any pleasure, not anymore, it was a stinging pain as overstimulation hit you hard. Gripping on to his skin of his back palms, desperately trying to push them away, yet having to reach back did nothing for you, you began to sob next to his ear as he continued to ruthlessly fuck you beyond repair.

Hearing him suddenly issuing out pants, airy breaths, and slight groans of pleasure, you finally felt a sense of relief as his noises indicated he was close to another orgasm, this one appearing to be an intense one, meaning it would be the last.

That relief, however, disappeared the moment he took a pause, shoving his length all the way inside.

Turning his face, while the bill of his cap presses on the side of your head, knocking it off his head, he kisses the nook of your neck, gently nibbling on the skin. He followed it up with a series of long, fat licks of his tongue, trailing up and down in various motions that began to re-introduce the arousal of pleasure in your body. Sensing that you were in pain from the constant pounding, he decided to show mercy on you, or so it would appear.

Starting off slow, and rather rough, he uses the grip he had on your rear to force a momentum of rolling his length in and out. The skin on your inner thighs become slightly red as they were rubbing against his jeans the entire episode as you were relentlessly getting pelted by his groin.

Sucking on to your neck, refusing to let go as you felt his tongue flicker and tapping against your skin, he continues the pace he had before. It dawned on you, he had purposely paused in order to delay his orgasm, wanting to not only savor the feeling of fucking you, but to also cause you to cum once more, to maintain the integrity of you both cumming at the same time.

Upon discovering the reality of his intense nature, you began to sway as you tried to break free. The moment he senses the tiniest bit of your movement, he raises a hand and slaps it against your back, pinning you down as he uses the one hand that remained on your rear grip your panties in a bulk grip, tightening its fitted form as he used it to establish his momentum once more, along with his repeated thrusts.

With his mouth latched on to your neck, you were able to at least feel some pleasure from being stuffed repeatedly, yet the stinging sensation of the overstimulation was too much for you to take. You tried to struggle against his grasps, his pulling and pushing, all the screaming and yelling, telling him that it was too much. He finally responds to your protests.

“Just come kiss me and bite me.” He softly speaks out in between his pants as he raises the hand that was on your back and grabs a handful of your hair to guide your face to his. Initiating the kiss as you panted your exhausted gasps, tear streams decorating your delicate face as your eye lids become swollen from the sobs. Taking advantage of your mouth panting wide open, his thrusts remained forceful and rough, but his kiss was so tender and passionate. Guiding you to kiss him back, he uses his tongue to guide your own into his mouth.

Pulling our head back just slightly as he remained gripping on to your hair, he states once more.

“Bite me.”

Panting, gasping, moaning, and completely exhausted, nearly to the point of blacking out, your body limp and your vision blurred from the amount of tears you cried, you hesitated.

“I…I…pl-please st-“

“Just shut up and bite me y/n.” he snaps, earning a sudden whine from you as he bucked harshly into you as he spat out his harsh words.

“Bite….me.” He pants out, as you were left with no more tears to sob out. Leaning into the nook of his neck you bit down into his soft skin.

“Fucking harder.” He snaps once more, seemingly triggered as he increased the pace and intensity yet again, slamming into you. The skin all around your core, and your rear have become bright red from the amount of hits you took.

Screaming into his neck as you abided by his demand, you bit down harder as the impact of him fucking you caused your body to jolt in an up and down motion. The last bit of pleasure that came in from when he sucked on your neck disappears as you reached orgasm yet again, the eighth time.

The heavy moisture gushing out as you felt the piercing sting on your clit, he cums as he groans out, embracing your body tightly as if he was trying to swallow you whole with his frame.

“Ah! Fuck!!” He bit down on his lip, drawing a tiny bit of blood as his body trembles beneath you.

Gasping for air, you tremble as you continued to sob quietly into the nook of his neck as the painful sting still lingered a bit.

Feeling his grasp on you losing firmness, he massages you and caresses your body, issuing soft kisses on to your head as he whispered sweet words into your ear.

“It’s okay pretty baby….we’re all finished. Hmm? Smile for me?” he encourages as he raises your head to face him.

Your expression was distressful, as your lips quivered, and the tears began to slow down. He raises a hand to wipe your tears, kissing your cheek softly as he mumbles against your skin.

“Kiss me baby. It will make you feel better.”

As he bids, you kiss him. Just as he promised, kissing him in a sweet and passionate one had distracted you from the lingering pain.

When it came to pain during sex, you always understood and accepted it from his Ethan’s side as he was the main one to issue out his obsession with pain. Knowing that was how he communicated love, you never were bothered to fight it, instead, you bit down on your lip to take it, even during the times where it was most excruciating, and there were many moments where it had been.

Yet with Heeseung, who was always gentle and more tamed in his level of roughness with you, you never once expected for him to develop his own nature in taking delight at your struggle. It was new to you, and you weren’t prepared for it by any means. Something about bringing up his plans in the future seemed to have triggered him, though you didn’t know why. That’s when he spoke up once more, after gently breaking the kiss, and gave you closure yet again. This time, he fully communicated with you, bringing you on the same page he was.

“Did it hurt a lot?” he asked.

You nod softly, staring at him with a sad look on your face as the overflow of tears caused your swollen and red eyes to gaze at him with pleas of mercy. He pets your head, running his fingers through your long hair.

“Mmmm…good.” He remarks, earning for you to issue a puzzling, teary eyed look.

He sighs as he caresses your face.

“I love doing everything to you. I love you, I love pleasing you, fucking you, and…I love hurting you. I don’t think you understand y/n, there’s something about you….everything I do to you, there’s a whole new level and side to your attraction that just….it does something to me.” He drags his fingertips over to your lips.

“I know that doesn’t sound right…but it is the truth. I’m always wanting to see you at every angle. I have to, it’s on my mind constantly and sometimes I can’t control it.” He issues his apology, the way he spoke, you could at least try to understand his reasoning, since you felt, in some sense, the same way. You always want to see him at his best and worst.

“I really wanted to tell you…about my plans…I wanted to tell you the day we started dating.” His voice grew soft.

“Aside from telling her that I was planning on going back, offering to take her with me if she wanted to stay with me, I never told her the details. I kinda feared that you were going to ask me why I never opened up about it with anyone…just didn’t know how to explain it at the time.”

His heart was in his voice, you could feel it. Resting your head on his chest, you watched as he lifted your hand and intertwined your fingers together in mid-air.

“It’s just the last girl I told about my family, she acted outlandishly and caused a lot of chaos and unnecessary drama out of it. I just didn’t bring it up because it was hard to try and explain it especially after never telling Vicky. I guess I just had a hard time trying to come up with a solid way to tell you, knowing you were going to wonder why I had told her.”

Curiosity got the better of you, you had to ask.

“The girl you are referring to, the one you told, was she an ex-girlfriend?”

“Yeah.”

“Tiff?”

“Mmhmm.”

Recalling the conversation, you had with Vicky from the time you had inquired about Tiff after seeing her throw herself at Heeseung in the lobby, you recall the mentioning of how serious Heeseung was considering marriage with her after high school.

“What happened exactly, with you and her?”

“You really want to know?” he grabs on to your waist tightly as he softly remarks.

“Yes.”

“Well…initially she got excited when I told her that I was going to be taking over for my dad, but when I told her it was temporary so I could move on to doing what I love as a career choice, she and I got into a huge fight over it. She wanted me to continue my dad’s billet, rather than passing it off to my brother. Sometime after the fight, we didn’t really speak a whole lot.”

As he elaborated the details, you continue to listen on, rubbing his chest as you felt so happy that he was finally giving you the details of his past, something he hadn’t done before.

“I went and volunteered for some basketball camps, and when I came back, I found out that amongst the other guys she was sharing herself with, one of them, not that it was his fault because I hadn’t told my family about her…yet. But she ended up getting with my brother, thinking he was the better choice, since he was going to take over and keep the position of being in charge of Hybe. It was a status thing with her, despite that I’d be well off and more than financially stable, she really didn’t have any other reason to do that other than she just wanted to be married to the man in charge. Especially since both my brother and I own a percentage of the company shares. “

You were stunned at the quick little input of him stating that he and his brother owned shares of the company. This man really had meant it each time he told you, or Vicky for that matter, that ‘you have nothing to worry about.’ He wasn’t lying. But your face grew a sad expression at finding out the harsh treatment he succumbed to with Tiff after relying on her with such personal information, only to try and use it against him.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” You issued, unsure of what you could possibly say.

“Mmm…don’t be. If she hadn’t shown her true colors like that, I would have made a very…very big mistake and would have really kicked myself in the gut…but I don’t have to worry. You’re different, I knew you were different the moment I saw you. Your genuine smile, and your good nature. You were meant to be a wife and mother…which was why I had to have you. I had to get you and keep you before any other man noticed how good you were and tried to take you for himself.”

There was an overwhelming sensation that formed in your chest at his last bit. The way he expressed how much he wanted to make you his entirely, through marriage and motherhood, was something that you loved hearing him speak of. It made moments such as the hardcore and rough act that had just occurred worth the sentimentality that followed afterwards.

“What happened with your brother?”

“Well…Tiff…didn’t really think it all the way through, so when my brother came out to the family and told us how he met and fell in love with a beautiful, young woman that truly ‘loves’ him, we were all happy for him until he showed us a picture. That’s when a lot of chaos came in and after learning the truth, well….both my brother and I ditched Tiff. She didn’t take that lightly and ended up having to move away for a bit. My brother and I share no hard feelings, that really wasn’t his fault, and now he’s got a real fiancé, a decent girl that really does care for him, she’s his childhood friend from school.”

You felt glad at the fact that Heeseung’s family was not permanently affected by Tiff…yet it must have still been so stressful for him.

The both of you conversed as Heeseung continued to massage your body, obviously making up for the intense impact that was forced onto you, yet you couldn’t love him less. He was your man after all, he was bound to have sides where his love was going to be more mad and less tender than other times, especially at the introduction of a sore subject such as his past, which was no longer the case now that he got it off his chest.

Meanwhile, that same night as you and Heeseung enjoyed the remainder of your evening, side by side, cuddling and displaying the utmost love and sincerity towards each other.

Tiff on the other hand, reaches out and carries a conversation with a man on the other line.

“So, will you do it?”

“Is this girl as pretty as you say she is? Show me a social media profile or photo or something.”

“I don’t have that, and I can’t find her on any social media app, but she is…” gasping in jealousy and disgust, “she is very pretty…” Tiff finishes.

“Well sneak a photo and show me. And how much are you offering?”

“2k.”

“Geez. Must be nice coming from a rich family.”

“Shut up, you didn’t’ mind whenever you took me on those ‘dates’ and could barely pay the dinner bill.”

“Whatever, so this ex-boyfriend of yours, were we fucking while you were dating him?”

Tiff rolls her eyes for a moment. “Yes, God. What does that matter? Just don’t tell him that if you ever see him.”

“What? So, if in case he happens to walk in while I’m with his current girl, which I will do only if she is as pretty as you say, because I only like the pretty ones, I want to let him know how much I enjoyed fucking you whenever he was at those lame basketball camps.”

“You can’t say that to him because I’m trying to get him back, remember? Look just do what you want with the girl, and your crew can tag in. I really fucking hate this bitch. I’ll send you a photo tomorrow, Just leave Ethan alone, if he happens to walk in on the whole thing, I’ll try and distract him. But all you need to do, is to get the girl drunk, if she doesn’t drink just..i don’t know, slip something in there or whatever, take her to a hotel, fuck her brains out, and film it. You can upload it on your stupid porn site AFTER I get Ethan back. And I want copies! I still have plans for her after I get my man back.”

“Yeah yeah. Hey you know I still have the one we made.”

“I don’t care, just make sure Ethan doesn’t have any way of seeing it.”

“Well not that it matters since I uploaded it a long time ago, by now that shit is in the archives of every site.”

“Whatever, that wasn’t worth the $900 by the way.”

“Yeah, but you loved every minute when I fucked you.”

“Sure. Whatever, just make sure you look out for my text tomorrow, I’m going to sneak a photo of this cunt.”

Finishing the conversation, Tiff hangs up and plots out her plan to get you out of the picture in order to leave Ethan up for her to pursue.

Oh Baby Smau

Chapter 10

#heeseung smut #heeseung scenarios #heeseung x reader #heeseung hard hours #heeseung hard thoughts #enhypen smut #enhypen hard hours #enha x reader

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