#she genuinely deserves this. but...every time i see my parents - and thus her... i feel as if i'm slipping back into that mindset of hatred | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

punkscowardschampions · 2 years

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Archie & Casey Pt.2

Casey: [the breakfast he’s gonna make a point to stay for purely to be a dick is gonna be awkward, because he really did mean all night, y’all aren’t sleeping in this house, none of you]

Archie: [I can’t feel bad for y’all really, soz, it’s the least you deserve in many ways, bit shaming for you gal but you’ll survive]

Casey: [have fun at work Ian because it literally do be a weekday and you’ll be in the best mood ever, at least from poor Archie’s POV the bae won’t be this mad at you all night long so not every hook up has to be angry in a way that upsets me]

Archie: [back on side as much as he ever will be now]

Casey: [and he will be genuinely happy you’ve taken him to Cornwall so that can be the good bit before it fully goes to shit in Manchester and he dumps you for the first time, cos not saying it’s the end forever rn cos I know what you’re both like]

Archie: [oh the messiness, we’re gonna be really unbearably heartbroken when we get back honey, no one is gonna be living lol]

Casey: [and peeps thought America was being annoying LOL, how is she gonna bring up cornwall as a let’s go there thing in the am, like are we gonna say you’re dossing about in the car just driving having nowhere really to go for a bit first or is she just suggesting it asap]

Archie: [we did say we’d take you so I think we can suggest it like see I’m still me and I stick to what I say]

Casey: [very valid under the circumstances]

Archie: [we might even tell these people over breakfast before running it past you just ‘cos it sounds like you have actual plans and have not in fact been kidnapped like oh yes, we’re seeing my fam next]

Casey: [make those amends gal, we love to see it, just wanna let you know I googled flights to see and I’m dead cos she’s 12-15 and thus classed as a young adult yikes, but good to know it only takes 1 hr 15 from Dublin to Newquay as is only like 45 euros for you both one way, obvs that’s now and not Sept cos it won’t let me look that far but as a rough guide, then they’ve just gotta get from Newquay airport to wherever in Cornwall you used to live]

Archie: [I hope they wouldn’t immediately flag that and alert your parents if you aren’t travelling with them ‘cos imagine lmao, but for now just pushing through the awks like they remotely care because we’re trying for this boy here]

Casey: [I think they’d be bothered if she was trying to go solo aka total unaccompanied minor vibes which is worth noting for when she has to come back from Manchester without him, but since she’s with someone I doubt they are that fussed cos you’re not like a tiny tiny child but that’s just speculation on my part lol, I genuinely wonder how old this woman’s children should be cos the next morning awks are different vibes if you’re children than if you’re tweens or teens]

Archie: [soz to be evil but they should be like her age lol]

Casey: [a daughter that’s literally her age is too good to pass up at this point]

Archie: [there’s no way this woman and this girl don’t know how old you are then, honestly rude to just send you on your way lol]

Casey: [there should be a younger kid or kids for the annoyance as well as one that’s literally older than her for those awks, ooh what if they were all girls because Ian has had all sons]

Archie: [I die, we’re immediately jealous of these girls our age and up as if they’re going to wanna get on him because just who we are]

Casey: [I think the oldest gal should be 16 like Bobby for the weirdness of that and then a 13 year old because she’s only turned 14 in the summer herself and then like peak annoying age of like 9 or something lol for the kid or if there’s 2 younger then add another who’s a bit younger than that as well, there really isn’t room for y’all]

Archie: [for sure, these gals just think you are trash, as if the judgment on the adults wasn’t enough lmao, just like hey]

Casey: [hope your mum aka Ian’s mrs is a bottle blonde cos if it’s natural and y’all all are that’s gonna be such a creepy children of the corn vibe and also yeah you’ll hate that gal cos blondes are your man’s type too]

Archie: [we’re just gonna go deal with this sofa bed clear up and let you have another talk with your father if you want]

Casey: [shamelessly will hit him up for money because he is that messy irresponsible bitch who never has any despite having a job, sure Ian will have much to say about the state of your underage gf but nothing actually useful and clearly he’s not gonna push it far enough to start a full brawl before work, blatantly just wants you out asap]

Archie: [worth losing some cash to do it for this fam collectively packs your bags too, we know the vibe]

Casey: [get in the car and drive to the airport lads, a casual hour that you can fill talking about what you’re gonna do in Cornwall and how much of a fun vibe it’ll be]

Archie: [‘where’d he meet her?’ ‘cos we’re nosy]

Casey: [a shrug ‘an app or some bollocks’ is that even true, who can say with how little he cares about what other peeps are doing until it impacts him, but my dad and Sal vibes because let’s be honest Ian you’d have clearly ran through your co-workers being a hoe in the JJ era so]

Archie: [‘can believe it’ lowkey casting aspersions on this woman but we feel thoroughly shaded so we need to]

Casey: [a lol because we see what you’re getting at and agree that she’d need to resort to one, he clearly didn’t like her before and definitely will not be a fan from now on ‘knows how to pick ‘em, him’ and tell her all the horror stories you have for the shit girlfriends he’s had, leaving the shitshow relationship he had with your mum out of it for now but]

Archie: [‘I’m so glad my mum doesn’t date’ like oh no no no]

Casey: [‘money on there being loads of apps for posh lasses after a bit of rough’ like you should sign her up]

Archie: [shaking our head because we are immature and the bitch who would kick off hence your mother would never tell you if she is or isn’t dating like okay babe ‘my dad was perfect, she’ll have to be sad forever’]

Casey: [she so is that bitch, yet another reason this woman is married to her job ‘he were a policeman, like’ shading him for that because the kind of boy we are, excuse you let her think her dead father is perfect thank you]

Archie: [‘so?’ in a way we have never spoken to or in front of you]

Casey: [‘so it’d be shit to grow up with’ because imagine how your friends and other peeps at school etc would be gal, you should just have dropped it boy but we know you wouldn’t]

Archie: [‘It was shit growing up with a depressed mum, I’d rather take my chances, thanks’]

Casey: [‘Alright, calm down’ because he is that bitch who takes the piss when you’re mad but the world is ending when he is, obvs]

Archie: [just getting in the back and turning our phone on so we can scroll]

Casey: [doing a Jimothy move of chucking something that she didn’t take with her at her, not because she might actually want it but to get her attention, like Oi, cos still a wind up despite you clearly not being in the mood]

Archie: [‘thanks’ in the most I am ignoring you way possible]

Casey: [defs being really immature and driving dangerously so she and this bear he won who I picture in the back chilling get thrown around in the back like do not ignore me hun, like it’s all such a big LOL]

Archie: [‘what’s the point?’ as we pick this bear up like what are you achieving sir, honestly]

Casey: [‘of you being mardy back there? I dunno, mate’]

Archie: [‘I just don’t wanna talk to you right now’ bit of recycling of your words for fun]

Casey: [such an unimpressed noise like okay whatever then as if you’re not gonna be sick of the silence in less than a second, boy]

Archie: [just get comfortable like you might be able to get some sleep in this car even though the drive isn’t really long enough]

Casey: [‘what are you being a dickhead for now?’ literally immediately because like I said, emphasis on now like yet again you’re winding me up here]

Archie: [‘I’m just tired’ like it’s absolutely not what’s going on here but we aren’t confrontational soz another reason you’re a poor match]

Casey: [‘bollocks, it’s ‘cause you know your perfect dead dad wouldn’t be having this’ because you’re right, he absolutely would notp this as everyone will once they know]

Archie: [‘it’s not about you’ unintentionally harsh but true ‘if he weren’t dead I wouldn’t have been living here so none of this would’ve happened’ not said in a positive or negative way like that’s just facts]

Casey: [‘if he weren’t dead it wouldn’t have happened is right’ because what he said about girls with dead parents being absolute slags when they were talking about Libi is true of you gal]

Archie: [just making a noise of disbelief when we connect what you’re saying to that]

Casey: [stop trying to force a confrontation out of her sir, I hate you, he’d be so smug knowing saying that got to her, just all over his face]

Archie: [‘you can’t be jealous of my dead dad, that’s ridiculous’]

Casey: [‘like you having loads to say when you reckon you don’t wanna talk to me’]

Archie: [‘yeah, exactly like that’ a verbal eyeroll because no]

Casey: [a lol because her attitude is so amusing to him rn]

Archie: [actually close your eyes and fake sleep now]

Casey: [being once again v mature and turning the music on and up]

Archie: [we’ve ignored worse]

Casey: [wake her up when you’re nearly there even though she’s not actually asleep just being like oi get up or something equally charming lol]

Archie: [now for the joys of an airport, at least you don’t have anything to check in which always makes it quicker]

Casey: [am gonna make you have seats next to each other on this plane so you can’t just ignore each other though lol]

Archie: [gotta be done lol]

Casey: [nudge her but not in an aggressive manner when you’re in your seats and look at her like are we gonna call a truce here or what]

Archie: [shrug so you kind of nudge him back so it’s like guess so, yeah]

Casey: [‘just stop being a dickhead’ but again not in a confrontational way v much the tone of I will if you will]

Archie: [‘we’re literally on our way’ in the same tone like I wouldn’t have got on the plane otherwise, although debatable how much choice either of you had at this point but you know]

Casey: [‘yeah, so I can’t be sending you no I miss yous’ like when he sent her a text immediately post cloakroom hookup, saying we would do that rn if we could aka the closest to a sorry for anything you’re gonna get for now but it’s as much him saying he wants things to go back to the way they were aka you to act like you used to if you’re not gonna fight with us in a fun way when we try and wind you up]

Archie: [‘don’t need to’ which we’re saying like there’s nothing stopping us from spending all out time together now as a positive but it’s as clearly a negative but shh lol]

Casey: [‘what then?’ + one of her fave pet names cos he’s back to acting like he’s the most romantic and chivalrous and will do anything to make it up to her, whatever she needs]

Archie: [‘just be nice to me, boy’ honestly too close to home]

Casey: [‘you know now I ain’t got a dad like yours, never even had a mum how yours is’ because we can’t be pretending Ian is perfect once you’ve met him and a flop though your mum may be in a lot of ways she is still around and does care about you gal, it’s true so not even a blatant sob story but that’s how we’re using it so she’ll forgive us, like poor me I don’t know how to treat girls nicely, while we hold her hand like soz]

Archie: [squeeze his hand ‘you can take care of yourself better’ like highly debatable but you’re right in that Ian is no help to anyone girl]

Casey: [‘I shouldn’t of taken it out on you’ squeeze her hand back ‘you’re what I have got, and it’s not nowt, like’ casual declaration of love there nbd]

Archie: [‘I didn’t do what I said I would’ and shake our head]

Casey: [‘if I held that against every dickhead who don’t, who’d I have?’ well JJ you fool but you don’t see it that way]

Archie: [‘don’t say I’m good when I’m not’]

Casey: [‘this were a good idea’ debatable tbh but you think so rn]

Archie: [‘I’m trying to make it up to you’]

Casey: [‘the uni students who ain’t already’ll be back in a bit’ because you’re getting into newquay first and that’s literally all it’s known for is a cray students and stag parties when it’s not holidays, so he’s probably thinking you can stick around and he can get a job at a bar or club]

Archie: [‘fit right in’ like ah yes, my peers ‘I can’t get a job with anyone who’s going to check but maybe I’ll find something cash in hand…’]

Casey: [shakes his head ‘I’ll look after you like I said I would’ not realistic but okay it’s nice you don’t want her in a probably sketch as hell cash in hand situation]

Archie: [‘what am I going to do?]

Casey: [‘What you was doing back there’ aka come to work with me when I am and then his plan clearly is you can both sleep at the same time and do whatever you want when he has time off]

Archie: [nod ‘got it all worked out’ sounds a bit like you’re convincing yourself but okay ‘hope security is as shit’ like see if I get in lol]

Casey: [‘had time to when you were sleeping’ can’t resist a dig even though we’re being ‘nice’ now ‘you’ll be alright’ looking her over as we say so like yep you’re still fit enough to get in anywhere]

Archie: [‘I didn’t sleep’ because we’re simply never going to be fun to wind up, soz boy I don’t know what to tell you but we can 😌 at the compliment still]

Casey: [‘when you was crying then’ but in a more playful way than a horrible one, complete with another nudge]

Archie: [‘yeah’ like no lies detected but we can nudge back]

Casey: [touching her face as if he’s wiping away those tears, better late than never, but just wanna touch her obvs and you’re limited what you can do on this plane cos you can’t extra and attract more attention to yourself when she’s this young and peeps would notice]

Archie: [just looking at him like really, now, but in an affectionate way equally like why are you choosing now to be nice when we can’t do anything about it]

Casey: [LOOKING at her like 😏 ‘said I miss you’ in such a suggestive whisper]

Archie: [just putting our hand in his lap like it’s so casual]

Casey: [as casually pointing his hand where there’s a lovebite nobody else on this plane can see but he put there the night before]

Archie: [pulling his hand so he has to press into it]

Casey: [simply must]

Archie: [just pressing our own hand harder into you]

Casey: [the perfect time to bite your lip and look hot doing it]

Archie: [snuggle into his shoulder so you can be that close and whisper in his ear but you look like you’re being pretty innocent ‘I miss you harder’]

Casey: [and you can pull her hair pretty hard but look like you’re just innocently moving it so we’re definitely doing that response]

Archie: [sucking our thumb part so we don’t make a noise in response and part for the visual]

Casey: [taking off his jacket and putting it over her in what looks like a nice gesture of tucking you in and making you comfy cosy but is a blatant ploy to touch you as well obvs]

Archie: [a happy noise that could just be like thanks for the jacket but is obviously not, our eyes just switching between looking in yours and looking down at your lap]

Casey: [shall be giving you this bear from wherever he was packed as another innocent distraction for the other peeps nearby but it’s really so you can hold onto it gal as he touches you more and also makes a big show of getting comfortable again in his own seat to draw your eye even more shamelessly]

Archie: [‘you look after me so well’ putting our hand under whatever you’re wearing on your bottom ‘how do you feel?’ like we’re just seeing if you’re alright but not at all]

Casey: [‘yeah, I do’ alright cocky, is my response to that tbh ‘but you’re nice to me an’ all, sometimes’]

Archie: [‘when you’re being nice’ like gotta earn it]

Casey: [‘I’m always giving you what you want’ like you love it when I’m not being nice too, we both remember last night, looking innocently at this bear though as though that’s what we mean only]

Archie: [‘no you’re not’ and shifting in our seat like you aren’t right now, for example]

Casey: [making a song and dance of readjusting her makeshift covers like ugh you’ve moved and need to be re-tucked in so he can go as hard as he can feasibly go without getting caught by the rest of this plane ‘I am’]

Archie: [the way we’d have to tighten our grip ‘cos that’s all we can do ‘when we land’ like you’re going to then]

Casey: [a nod because that’s all you can be trusted with rn]

Archie: [‘I wanna be there now’ looking at him ‘are you excited?’]

Casey: [‘I wanna get there as badly as you’ true in the literal and double meaning ‘I’m so ready for it’]

Archie: [‘bad’ with the emphasis that is safe ‘not long now’ and we’re still touching you ‘cos you could always be readier until then]

Casey: [‘yeah’ with as much emphasis as he can likewise get away with without being fully indecent over here]

Archie: [on our notes app now because what else can we do rn and no one needs to be watching y’all that hard]

Archie: why aren’t we rich so you can fuck the shit out of me right here right now and all the hostesses can do is watch and wait to see what we want after

Casey: Give us chance to get a job first, see what I can do for the next flight

Archie: promise

Casey: you could wash cars, you did on a top job on theirs

Archie: are you gonna watch me every time

Casey: have to, you might really get kidnapped else

Archie: I dunno if I’d do as good a job if you weren’t

Casey: or you could babysit posh kids in their massive houses, we’d have a right laugh with that

Archie: until I had to actually had to look after them

Casey: I’ll be there to give you a hand, nowt I’ve not done before

Archie: alright, dad much

Casey: you heard, I always give you what you want, baby

Archie: I wanna call you daddy out loud you should look a bit older

Casey: 👨 is gonna take me longer than an hour

Archie: mine was only ever your brothers age, you don’t need to go too hard

Casey: I’ll leave it out trying for a 🧔 then

Archie: how would that even feel

Archie: gross, I bet

Casey: you’d get a rash off kissing me loads, can’t have that, they’d never let you in the clubs

Archie: 😷

Archie: can’t not kiss you

Casey: you’re doing alright with it now

Archie: no, it’s very hard actually

Casey: [obvs gotta lick his IRL rn to make it harder cos that’s who he is]

Archie: [😡 at you less dramatically]

Casey: [squish her cross face how JJ sometimes do because you can’t do the pouty lip thing here unfortunately]

Archie: [‘you’re a meanie’]

Casey: [hitting her with a shhh that’s so suggestive but only to y’all because daddy energy]

Archie: [‘make me’ because we can lean into our childish energy and make it seem sassy but we’re really being as suggestive back]

Casey: For that I’m gonna make you SO loud

Casey: [and doing the most here for a second and deliberately only that because you’re being rude hun, excuse us everyone, look away for a moment]

Archie: [doing your best to make it sound like the kind of get off noises you make when someone tickles you or similar]

Archie: you’re the worst

Casey: You started it

Archie: no you did

Casey: you

Archie: you wanted me to, if we’re going that far back

Casey: as far back as you wanna go, you wanted me to want you and it’s your fault I do this fucking much

Archie: you blame me, don’t you

Casey: everyone else is gonna blame me

Archie: even if I tell them I led you on

Casey: face of an angel, you

Archie: i’m not

Casey: our secret though, that

Archie: i don’t know about that

Casey: yeah, if you keep on how you are this whole plane’ll have a job not to know

Archie: everyone at your dad’s knew

Archie: before you fucked me so loud they all heard it and got confirmation

Casey: told you why he would do

Archie: you kept telling me

Casey: he ain’t as thick as that bitch he’s got now makes him look, he’d love to fuck you

Archie: would he

Casey: ‘course, I dunno if he could at his age, but you’re just his type

Archie: you like the same kind of girls

Casey: I get the kind of girls he’d be after if he were owt like me

Archie: I see the similarities

Casey: before he went soft an’ all, there were

Archie: I wouldn’t call him soft

Casey: she’s got him doing whatever the fuck she says soon as she says it, least Jim’s mrs is fit enough to be calling the shots

Archie: yeah, I guess so

Archie: he still scared me

Casey: you ain’t gotta be scared of nobody, you’re mine

Archie: just you then

Casey: nor me, I meant it, I’ll never hurt you

Archie: yeah

Casey: never, Archie

Casey: I love you

Archie: [just staring at him like did you really just type that right now when I can’t say or do anything even if I had a clue how to and being like ‘scuse me and going to the tiny bathroom because we need a moment to collect ourselves]

Casey: Oi, you need to say something

Archie: You can’t oi me right now

Casey: I said I love you

Casey: are you not gonna say it back

Archie: you’ve never said it before

Casey: but I do, that’s why it were doing my head in how you was being at my dad’s, couldn’t tell you nowt when you were being a massive dickhead to me

Archie: that’s why you did what you did?

Casey: you and him both wound me up

Archie: I’m so sorry

Casey: your sister trying to fuck things up, I get, but I weren’t expecting you to turn on me an’ all after I sorted us not being split up

Archie: that’s not what I was trying to do at all

Archie: I wasn’t trying to do anything I was just fucking up, I couldn’t do what you needed me to

Casey: you were scared, I should’ve reckoned on that

Archie: I’m not brave like you

Casey: we won’t be going there again, alright

Archie: I’m sorry I let you down

Casey: I shouldn’t have taken you there, I wasn’t thinking

Archie: we had to go somewhere

Casey: but we could’ve come right to the airport

Archie: it’s not your fault, it’s mine

Casey: nah, it’s not

Casey: that fight I told you about when you asked about my worst one, what I said was between me and him, I know what he’s like

Archie: but

Archie: what did you do then

Archie: to make him so angry, I mean

Casey: he just was back then, told you he’s gone soft since

Archie: that’s horrible

Casey: I must’ve knocked it out of him by winning, ‘cause it was all mine after, properly passed down

Archie: you wouldn’t do that, would you

Casey: I’ve got no kids to smack round

Archie: yeah but still

Casey: I don’t want none, it don’t matter

Archie: don’t get no one pregnant

Casey: don’t miss no days of your pill, or run out

Archie: I’m not gonna

Casey: we’ll be alright

Archie: I’m just saying, be careful

Archie: you fuck lots of people that ain’t me

Casey: I did, but I don’t

Archie: not currently, we are on the run, like

Casey: you fucking heard me, I love you

Archie: I did

Casey: I want it to be proper, only me and you

Archie: Okay

Casey: come out from hiding in the toilet, like

Archie: [do that girl]

Casey: [looking at her so intensely as she walks back to her seat]

Casey: Don’t you love me too

Archie: [looking at him like STOP IT as you get back in your seat like so pained]

Archie: you know I do

Casey: so tell me

Archie: [in his ear ‘I love you’ because snoopers be damned you don’t need to be peeping that hard]

Casey: [fully STARING at her lips whenever she moves back even slightly because he has never wanted to kiss her more]

Archie: it’s so unfair

Casey: I should’ve made you stay in there

Casey: [because cannot stop LOOKING at her]

Archie: [likewise we’re just 🥺]

Archie: should’ve come and got me

Casey: they’d have chucked us off the plane after hearing all that

Archie: but I need you

Casey: if I touch you right now I won’t be able to stop

Archie: we can’t

Casey: but I need you an’ all

Archie: no one is going to know us, soon as we’re out of that airport

Casey: how long

Archie: too long

Archie: [‘cos real however long of this flight you have left at this point]

Casey: [a lol cos couldn’t agree more and literally feel like he’s gonna die, that kind of lol]

Archie: [not helped by the 😍 we’re clearly giving you]

Casey: where are the rowdy dickheads, for fuck’s sake

Casey: I just wanna kiss you

Archie: you’re so fucking cute

Casey: that’s you

Archie: nah, I wanna do a lot more than just kiss

Casey: go on, tell me what you’d do

Archie: I should be in your lap

Casey: it’d be too easy to pull you over here if there were owt else going on for these twats to be looking at

Archie: no one has to know, or see you put your fingers inside me

Casey: you want me to show you exactly how I’d fuck you if I could be inside you for real

Archie: yes daddy

Archie: the more you love me the harder you’ll do it

Casey: they’ll hear it, you might have to cry louder than you’ve ever so they don’t all know how wet you are

Archie: I wish you could feel it

Casey: go back to the toilet and show me

Archie: watch me go

Archie: [back to this loo, no one else is probably going on such a short flight]

Casey: [absolutely is watching her go and touching himself in the way boys can just get away with as standard for some reason]

Archie: put your headphones in and I’ll film it

Casey: alright

Archie: it’s too fucking loud to waste

Casey: the state of me is gonna be a massive waste

Archie: i’ll clean it up

Casey: you take such good care of me

Archie: [send this video with sound effects]

Archie: how would you take care of me

Casey: I never said where I wanted to kiss you

Archie: you like eating me out 😻

Casey: I like how much you like it

Archie: it makes me feel little

Archie: i can’t explain, how much power you have, even on your knees

Casey: I reckon you should try to explain

Archie: I have zero control, all you have to do is just touch me with your tongue and I’m so defenceless and small

Casey: you are, well exposed and vulnerable

Archie: you could make me do or say anything

Casey: I really fucking love you

Archie: I love you the mostest

Casey: you know I’ve never said it before, don’t you

Archie: never, to no one?

Casey: to none of the lasses I’ve seen

Archie: shit

Archie: i’m gonna cry for you and send that too then, okay

Casey: if you cry out here I’ll have to hold you, be a shit mate otherwise

Archie: I’m such a fucking baby

Casey: they’ve all worked that out already, it’s alright

Casey: come here

Archie: you know I’m gonna grind my pussy on you ‘til I cum right

Casey: til we both do

Archie: if I leave my knickers here, will you get it inside me, do it quick, please, no one will ever see

Casey: I’ll slip right in before they know what’s going on

Archie: I’m so close, it’s all I need I promise

Casey: I need to feel you

Archie: feel how you saying you love me has got me

Casey: and say it again

Archie: if you say it again I’m saying it out loud I don’t care

Casey: nor do I, we’re basically there anyways, what the fuck can they do about it

Archie: I’m yours no one can do anything about it

Archie: [so come out]

Casey: [the actual lack of fucks given, you’re gonna get in trouble lads]

Archie: [least we were not joking about being close it’ll be over before anyone can clock exactly what y’all are doing]

Casey: [you’re all welcome for that, fellow passengers]

Archie: [never mind how blissed out we now look lol]

Casey: [go about your own business please and thanks]

Archie: [we’re just dead bye]

Archie: your cum is inside me right now 🥰

Casey: And yours is all over me

Archie: how the fuck did we just get away with that

Casey: you kept your promise

Archie: you’re just

Casey: I was the same way ‘cause of you

Archie: I like when we cum at the same time

Casey: me too, I feel dead close to you then

Archie: you are

Casey: it’s like we’re a proper couple

Archie: aren’t we

Casey: yeah, but you know what I mean

Archie: yeah, like other couples

Casey: without the boring bollocks they bother with, but what’s decent

Archie: I get it

Casey: it don’t have to be a secret no more when we get off this plane

Archie: are you excited for that or sad

Casey: Oi, you better be excited, I’m gonna take you out

Archie: I was asking you, I’m excited

Casey: I wouldn’t be taking you out, or getting you another necklace, if I weren’t

Archie: [😁]

Archie: I love you and you love me, that’s why

Casey: [a smile that’s slightly more chill than that but v genuine]

Casey: that’ll be it, yeah

Archie: [just snuggling in a real platonic way don’t mind us]

Archie: I never thought you’d love me back

Casey: [he’s playing with her hair in a very soft way, nothing to see here people]

Casey: nor did I, bit rude but

Archie: [lol]

Archie: how I know you aren’t totally bullshitting me though

Casey: I thought I loved her but since then I’ve not

Archie: Janis, yeah

Casey: I dunno, it was ages ago anyway

Archie: you probably did

Archie: you’re older, I thought you would’ve loved more people even

Casey: it ain’t how I do things, nor the lasses I used to get with

Archie: casual

Casey: was meant to be like that with you too, tah very much

Archie: [just looking around like how would you like me to exit this plane]

Casey: [doing the pulling her closer thing because do not]

Archie: [after 😏 at him]

Archie: we can keep it casual, like

Casey: [doing another IRL shh for your smug face and your suggestion of keeping it casual]

Archie: [heheheh ‘cos we’re happy and amused]

Casey: [actually tickle her this time but somewhere where peeps can see that’s what you’re doing like when my boo got me on the waddle and I attacked]

Archie: [you’re safe boy, she won’t come for you]

Casey: [and play with her necklace for good measure]

Archie: [‘you’re such a good friend’]

Casey: [‘best mate you’ve ever had, I know’]

Archie: 💛💛💛💛💛

Casey: [nod in the direction of the window like we really are nearly there now look cos are excited actually]

Archie: [just looking out and taking it in like what you’re actually doing rn]

Casey: [a lil hand hold just because]

Archie: [squeeze it but we’re not looking back for a hot sec]

Casey: [we can let her have her moment]

Archie: [we can finally get you off this plane and out and about as if either of you has a single clue about the area lolllll]

Casey: [at least you can finally have your hardcore makeout when you’re out of the airport because yes lord knows where you’re going so that’ll be awkward]

Archie: [like you’ll have been here in your life I’m sure but you’re a child so it’s not like you know directions or where’s a good spot or anything useful, it’ll be alright for a sec because you can explore but clearly why we leave]

Casey: [and I doubt v much your mum is from newquay anyway with her posh vibes so you might never have been here, it’s probably like the tiny village I’m sending Toni to for uni]

Archie: [we won’t be going to wherever the hell that is lol]

Casey: [this is way more y’all’s vibe hence I think they should stay for a while and he should get a job and they like try and make it work, I’m just debating how long realistically for]

Archie: [she’d have to talk to her fam so they don’t call the police and realistically after too long it’d be like if you don’t come back we will regardless hun so it can’t be that long really]

Casey: [yeah that is true, do you think we should cross Manchester off maybe and let y’all stay here since they don’t have long and have been to Ian’s for those vibes or still go?]

Archie: [you probably don’t need to go there, maybe it’s a plan we discuss, even if it’s visiting energy but it doesn’t need to materialise]

Casey: [I could definitely believe you going there for lowkey ages after you dump her anyway boy, because what have you got to go back for, everyone’s gonna be livid, so let’s just say that instead]

Archie: [that makes sense I think, let’s go with that]

Casey: [at least his friends will be more inclined to let him stay without an underaged girl in tow even if it’s still wtf because haven’t seen you in forever, so you’re welcome for that]

Archie: [you can attempt to live your best life like there’s not drama awaiting you in Dublin, it’s the energy, just let JJ calm everyone down, thanks so much]

Casey: [have the uni experience you didn’t have essentially]

Archie: [you’ll probably have to message your mum not your sister sadly, she’s not gonna wanna be messenger as you left her for dead lmao, just trying to be like I’m all good like she’ll leave you to it because you’re a child]

Casey: [tbf to you I can see your logic because she does leave you to it way more than she should]

Archie: [still, don’t even have your juniors cert babe]

Casey: [how do we wanna do this bit, like do you just wanna skip to the breakup so we know how that plays out cos we know the general vibe is bleak but trying to make the best of it and have your fun for as long as poss or is there anything specific we wanna note before getting to that?]

Archie: [hmm, we probably have broke down the vibe quite well, just more of how it has been, having these little arguments because it’s not all fun and games but trying to make up until the big one]

Casey: [trying to be a ‘proper’ couple, oh it’s sad, I vote that during this time we do the thing we mentioned on club night but haven’t done where she gets hurt accidentally in the middle of a fight in contrast to when he saved from that fate before because it fits the vibe well]

Archie: [agreed, that fits well here, also if we do wanna do any convos during this time we can ‘cos clearly the vibe is we’re trying to keep the fam on side and in the loop so they don’t shop y’all because child logic but we don’t have to do them now, just if we wanted]

Casey: [I definitely think we should do all the convos possible and milk this as much as we can once we’ve finished with planning y’all’s end because it’s such a fun dramatic situation that we’ve never really done before, they’re really taking JJ’s teen running away up a notch here, Winnie absolutely wants another Casey and Janis convo at some point because he stans]

Archie: [we could do Bobby and Archie imagine how awkward, poor boy; but yeah Casey and Janis is too much fun lmao soz it’s all the drama mick, they’d for sure be messaging you but I’m sure you won’t reply until Archie is gone lol]

Casey: [yeah I can imagine him finally messaging after he’s smacked her and forced to go home because I likewise imagine he went to Janis after he did whatever he did to the ex that went to uni it’s clearly an established vibe]

Archie: [I see it, v much, shall we try and post this one now or finish up more than this]

Casey: [potentially we should bracket out the break up so we know what was said and done if it’s gonna play a role in the Janis convo and Archie’s drama when she’s back]

Archie: [right, true, okay, let’s go lol]

Casey: [okay maybe what triggers him is something to do with her having to leave, whether she actually wants to or is just being forced by the fam and threat of the police because clearly what did it with his other ex was her leaving him to go to uni, like she wants/has to go back but he has a job here and thinks they’re doing alright, that kind of energy]

Archie: [she could think that the fam will legit be alright with this and suggest going back because clearly not living our best life here are we because that would be annoying and an easy start lol]

Casey: [it tracks, especially if she’s been talking to her mum cos her mum is probably saying whatever it takes to get her to come back, she’s not gonna be like no sod your paedo bf actually, he’s a wrong’un]

Archie: [literally, you probably were already meh about her speaking to them so it’s a reason to escalate like I told you]

Casey: [literally starting this row by him taking her phone off her and being like what are you messaging her again for, probably deleting her mum as a contact because v mature]

Archie: [trying to grab it back like ‘it keeps her calm, and we’ve talked more in this time than we have in ages’ because obviously this is a wake up call for your mother]

Casey: [‘it keeps her in your head, more like’ as if your mother is brainwashing you, because genuinely hate that you are getting in any way closer to her obvs]

Archie: [‘I’m doing it to protect you’ ‘cos was our intention]

Casey: [‘you were for a bit’ because we see that you no longer only care about that gal]

Archie: [‘she’s my mum, Casey’ like come on ‘and she actually listens to what I have to say about it, she don’t even think of you how she did at first’]

Casey: [‘and what a top one she’s been before now’ true but rude ‘she’s telling you what you wanna hear, don’t be this thick, for fuck’s sake’ again rude]

Archie: [‘she’s trying’ in reply to both parts]

Casey: [‘to get you back there, nowt else’ again you’re not wrong sir, but you’re also not totally right ‘that what you fucking want?’ said so angrily because we know it kinda is]

Archie: [‘we can’t stay here forever’ in a you know/want to go back too tone, trying to reason, oof]

Casey: [‘I can’t just head off home’ because could literally get arrested, emphasis on the I because you could and they’d have you back with open arms which we’re so mad and sad about]

Archie: [we do feel bad, very guilty, as the child in this situation, ugh lol ‘they aren’t going to call the police, it hasn’t been brought up in ages as a possibility, I know them’]

Casey: [‘you heard, they’re not gonna say shit that’ll stop you from wanting to go back to ‘em’ because just getting annoyed ‘be a different story when you’re in the door’]

Archie: [‘what’s stopping them doing it to get me back?’ ‘cos equally as valid]

Casey: [‘how pissed off you’d be, only run again first chance you had’ tell me he’s not thinking of Janis and when she used to run away, you can’t]

Archie: [‘it’s not like we have to stay forever, we can’t stay hiding forever though either’]

Casey: [‘I can’t pop back like nowt’s happened, get your head round what I done and how fuming everyone’s gonna be’ actually like can you please realise everyone’s gonna hate me, thank you]

Archie: [‘you haven’t done anything, it’s consensual’ we’re trying to be comforting but easier said than done in this particular context hun ‘I’ve told everyone I started it, went after you, I swear’]

Casey: [‘weren’t when I knocked out your bitch sister’ because again true]

Archie: [‘okay, that was a bit shit, but from her too, you was protecting me’]

Casey: [‘nobody else is gonna see it that way, or the rest’ they won’t and they don’t, we all know it]

Archie: [‘what then?’ ‘cos we’re at an impasse we all know it]

Casey: [‘piss off if you want but there’s nowt waiting for me but trouble’]

Archie: [‘what about your family?’]

Casey: [‘they’ll not have me, wouldn’t of before with having the kid, borrowed time as it was, and definitely ain’t gonna stretch to owt that gives me a hand with all this bollocks coming out’]

Archie: [‘that’s not fair, you can’t just say I’ve ruined your life’]

Casey: [‘my life ain’t fair, princess’ we’ve never said that pet name with more scorn than rn ‘but I don’t expect you to get that’]

Archie: [just shaking our head]

Casey: [‘course you’ve got nowt to say about that’ throwing her phone at her with such force it upsets me ‘go on then, have a nice little chat with your mum’]

Archie: [obviously flinching hardcore and just taking it like okay, I will thanks]

Casey: [as obviously knocking it out of her hand again like a sec later because we’re petty and don’t want you to do that, hopefully it isn’t broken because you’re gonna need it to get home probably]

Archie: [‘stop it!’ in frustration but also because we know what you’re like]

Casey: [saying ‘or what?’ in a way that has never sounded so threatening, how dare you corrupt a JJ phrase like that, sir ‘you’re leaving me anyway’]

Archie: [‘don’t do this’]

Casey: [‘it’s you doing it’ genuinely does believe that in his heart and soul]

Archie: [‘I’m trying to fix everything, you’re saying it’s all fucked and nothing can’]

Casey: [‘now you wanna act like a fucking kid’]

Archie: [‘how are you being mature?’ an actual question but not gonna be appreciated]

Casey: [‘you wanna see me be a man, yeah?’ so aggressively pinning her against a wall or somewhere like, I cannot, you in danger gurl]

Archie: [‘Stop it now’ like okay, let me go and trying to move away]

Casey: [very much not letting her go ‘you’ like stop trying to leave, has corrupted ‘you’ as well now, hate him]

Archie: [‘let go’ like this isn’t funny now, no one thinks it is honestly]

Casey: [do but only so you can chuck her about to further trap her in this room like you’re not going, because that wall was probably too near a door for your liking]

Archie: [‘you said you’d never do this and you do it all the time’]

Casey: [‘you’re not hurt’ exactly how he dismissed his ex in that convo they had, bye]

Archie: [‘you said scare’]

Casey: [‘you ain’t scared either, your mouth’s still going’ never gonna let you forget being mute in Ian’s gaff]

Archie: [eyeing this door like I am leaving this room and convo]

Casey: [forcibly and probs v painfully grip wise grabbing her face and making her look at him instead like no]

Archie: [‘Casey’ and pushing against this grip, shutting our eyes]

Casey: [‘I said look at me’ oh the sinister tone and vibes ‘I love you it’s the least you can fucking do’]

Archie: [‘look, just let me go get some fresh air, you can calm down and we’ll start again’ ‘cos we’re bargaining]

Casey: [‘how thick do you reckon I am?’ cos we know that’s what you’re doing gal]

Archie: [‘I told you you’re scaring me so just stop it please, I can’t talk to you when you’re like this]

Casey: [‘What about what you’re trying to do to me?’ the audacity of this girl to want to go home, honestly, how could she possibly want to do that, idk boy]

Archie: [‘I’m not, I’m not trying to do anything to you’]

Casey: [‘and now you’re lying to my face an’ all’]

Archie: [shakes head like no ‘I’m not trying to hurt you, I would never’]

Casey: [can and will corrupt y’all’s fun and saucy hair pulling antics to say he uses it to stop your head mid shake, ouch, like yeah you are actually, are we even listening to your words, unlikely]

Archie: [‘you need to stop now’ with more finality than the pleading energy we have like seriously now because it is escalating here]

Casey: [‘you do’ blaming you entirely for this, a bold move]

Archie: [just laying there and not saying or doing anything like okay you have to get off me then]

Casey: [do for the second that’s bound to last]

Archie: [we’re not moving, but trying to see where our phone etc is in this room]

Casey: [obvs bring it to her but in a not at all helpful manner because not gonna let you have it, just being a dick]

Archie: [just doing the most to not react in any way]

Casey: [just looking through her phone like hey remember this and this because how could you possibly wanna leave energy]

Archie: [just nodding where appropriate but not giving any more]

Casey: [being like ‘want a drink?’ and forcing her to have one before she can even say yes or no because yes I can also corrupt pouring a drink into the bae’s mouth, nothing is sacred rn, what o clock even is it, who knows]

Archie: [swallow that mouthful for the sake of not giving him anything to work with as is our approach but we are clearly disgusted]

Casey: [having one himself as well obvs as if that’ll help remotely ‘there, you’ve calmed down now’ I wish you would sir]

Archie: [the silence lmao]

Casey: [actually do break her phone to try and get a reaction and also with the energy of you won’t need this since you’ve got nothing to say]

Archie: [just looking at it, thank god for social media and being able to contact people without memorising their numbers truly]

Casey: [looking at her ‘what do you make me do this shit for?’]

Archie: [biting our lip but not at all in a sexy way]

Casey: [‘Oi, I asked you a question’]

Archie: [‘I didn’t make you do anything’ at a quiet to normal speaking tone and volume]

Casey: [‘you said you weren’t gonna do my head in and you do all the time’ because have your earlier words back at you, sort of]

Archie: [‘what doesn’t?’]

Casey: [a horrible and not at all cute lol]

Archie: [‘funny’ again in the most monotone voice]

Casey: [‘yeah, all this is a right laugh’]

Archie: [a look at him like my point exactly]

Casey: [a look like you’ve only got yourself to blame, clearly taking no responsibility here ever]

Archie: [just picking up the bits of our phone as if it’s salvageable because any distraction rn]

Casey: [cannot even let you have that so we’re taking them off you and chucking them as far away as is possible, just in your grill like we’re not done here thank you]

Archie: [putting our head in our hands because we’re losing it]

Casey: [‘you gonna cry’ not a question because it’s like oh here she goes, here’s this bit, because you’ve had enough fights even if they don’t usually escalate this hard]

Archie: [‘nope’ in an attempt at nonchalance ‘cos really not this time but not ‘cos we’re so chill, obviously]

Casey: [‘what then?’ as if it’s casual]

Archie: [one of those not at all amused laughs]

Casey: [shifting however we’re positioned rn so it’s like we’re getting more comfortable cos we’re settling in to wait]

Archie: [‘I didn’t actually wanna leave without you, but now I do and that’s all your doing’]

Casey: [‘it’ll be all my doing when you can’t’ so omnious]

Archie: [‘you can’t stop me’]

Casey: [‘can I not?’ and picking her up by her throat, which is a horrific visual I do not care for at all]

Archie: [‘no’ and then you gotta start kicking and doing what you must]

Casey: [that’ll be when he hits you however he is gonna, probably multiple times honestly to really emphasise this escalation because he isn’t usually going in on a girl like that, it’s usually the one shocking hit like your sister got and we’re done]

Archie: [at least as you’re expecting it you can struggle harder so they don’t get you square like that one did, also screaming so anyone who’s about will hear ‘cos we’re serious, just getting out this door however we must]

Casey: [he’ll likely shove you out of the door when you start screaming before anyone else can show up and get involved like okay fuck off then]

Archie: [gotta get out of here, not at all terrifying lol]

Casey: [lord knows where you even are and what shithole you were in, soz you poor child]

Archie: [gonna have to say your bag/thus passport is thrown out with you, can’t be having to call the police after all this ourselves lol]

Casey: [that’s plausible cos v much giving the dramatic leave and don’t come back vibe, in direct contrast to the entire mood of the rest of this convo, which is so you, boy]

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songmingisthighs · 3 years

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[9.55] mafia!wooyoung × reader

⇀ good thing you're smart, if not Wooyoung wouldn't have a whole attitude change

⇁ tw : violence, torture, kindapping, mafia life

⇁ part 1 / 2 / 3

⇁ disclaimer : the author does not support any and all criminal/illegal acts. the narrative written in this story is purely fiction out of the author's imagination. the things written here does not portray real mafia life nor is the author aware of how the mafia life is like. the author is a hermit loser.

You don't remember how long it has been since they captured you. Being stuck in a basement would do that apparently.

Whoever was behind your capture had been torturing you beyond your own imagination. They had starved you, hit you, kicked you, attempted to drown you, tied you in an uncomfortable position every night, and sent in someone to make sure you don't get an ounce of sleep.

All that just to get information on Wooyoung.

Currently, you're being tied to a chair, being once again interrogated for informations you had no clue about, "things would be much easier if you'd just give us what we want," the buff man in front of you said, he held a knife to your cheek but at this point you couldn't even flinch, "where is Jung Wooyoung's headquarters?"

Your cold outfit was clinging onto you like second skin, it's uncomfortable and it's dirty, the cold had definitely impacted your health.

Recently all you've been able to feel is just the headache and the burn from inside your body. Not even the abuse given to you was able to inflict you pain.

Everything's just numb.

You look up at the man, almost with a challenging look as you press your face daringly to the blade, "I. Don't. Know." you spat each word like venom.

The man laughed, pretty amused at how daring you are being, "you're his wife, there is no way you wouldn't have known," you rolled your eyes at him, bitter that he used the word 'wife' because you know fully well that Wooyoung would never treat you as such, "then I must've not been his wife now, am I?" You retorted back at him, slightly shocking him because this is the first time within the (apparently) 7 days you've been captured that you had said something else other than 'I don't know' or 'fuck you'.

Everyone was startled at the revelation, they probably hadn't concidered that you might not be Wooyoung's wife. No one really know about Wooyoung's personal life, it seems.

Seeing their hesitance, you take this as your chance of escaping.

The buff man grab your hair harshly, his eyes narrowing at you in suspicion, "don't lie to me, whore, if you're not his wife, then why'd you have a wedding ring on?" "Stole it from my mistress before I ran away, needed the money," you lied easily, surprising yourself.

"And why are you wearing it?" He asked again, "to make it less inconspicuous, people need to believe that this belongs to me or else they'll alert the cops that I'm a thief,"

He seemed to be having an inner turmoil on whether or not he should believe you.

With how you've been acting and the lack of evidence that you are Wooyoung's wife, you could really have been the wrong target.

"That means Handong lied to us," he said as he push your head away, talking to one of the men next to him, "bring him in and get this bitch out," he said simply before turning back to leave.

But before he walked out of the room, he looked back once more at you with a bitter smirk, "make sure to... deal... with her first, insurance for your silence,"

When the doors closed, 5 men approach your figure, still tied on the chair.

One of them crouch down in front of you, he brush your hair out of your face with a sad smile, "I'm sorry that we have to do this, pretty girl," confused at what he said, you just stared at him. But then he suddenly slap you so hard that you fell down along with the chair you're tied to.

And thus began one of the longest night of your life.

Meanwhile Wooyoung was getting antsy. His men couldn't find you anywhere and there isn't a second when he didn't regret turning his abundance of cctv off

He spent his days either in meetings or trying to track your whereabouts. San had to step in and actually force him to eat, going as far as cuffing him to his chair and spoon-fed him, even throwing a cheesy "would (Y/N) be happy to see you in this state?" At him to which he replied, "considering how I treat her, I wouldn't be surprised if she is,"

So far, neither yours nor his parents were aware of your disappearance. His dad only asked about you once to ensure he still has leverage, which of course Wooyoung lied, he's already stressed over your disappearance the last thing he need is for his dad to bit his head off.

Each night he spent sleeping in his bedroom, moping to the fact that he genuinely misses and worried about you. He regret taking you for granted, taking your presence for granted. Now, he could only imagine your sleeping form next to him using the memories of when he actually slept in bed with you. He used to be able to feel your warmth next to him, now it's just cold and he dislike it.

Tonight was no different. Before he got into bed, he went to the walk-in closet and look at all the dresses he had brought you to events that you went to (re : events he was forced brought you because his parents would be there). He remembered every how you looked in every single one of them.

It's pathetic of him, to be pining over the woman he claimed to have no care about.

Just as he turned the walk-in closet's lights off, there were commotions from downstairs, then a huge bang like his front doors had been barged open.

Diving into his instincts, Wooyoung grabbed the nearest gun he had hid all around the room and ran out, thinking that it was a raid by his rivals.

But when he looked down from the second floor to the living room, his heart wrenched and he froze.

San had you in his arms, you looked sickly pale with bruises all over your exposed arms and legs, clothes had chunks of them torn, and you weren't moving. One would assume that you're dead.

Wooyoung dropped his gun and ran to his friend who had just put you on the couch.

The sight of you looking so broken panicked him. He wanted to hold you and be glad that you're home, but he doesn't wanna hurt you. He wanted to tell you how sorry he is and that he'll make up to you but he's not sure whether or not you're still alive.

He snapped his head towards his staff, "call the doctor! Call Kang Yeosang in!" He barked to which his staffs immediately obeyed, scrambling to do as he ordered.

"God, baby, who did this to you?" He muttered to himself, reaching forward to brush your hair out of your face.

You stirred a bit when you heard his voice ans managed to open your eyes despite the splitting headache and the soreness all over your body.

When your eyes met his, you smiled, "hey, what are you doing in my dreams?" You croaked out, throat obviously sore and beyond parched from having been denied fluids for so long. It was your turn to brush his bangs from his eyes, something you've always wanted to do but know never could considering his dislike that turned out to be hatred towards you.

You suddenly frown at him, making his gaze on you softer, "I'm sorry," you muttered, not able to speak louder. At that, he tilted his head, "for what?" "Not being able to stay gone, I had to had the will to live, I should've let them kill me," you said before you slip into unconsciousness, rendering Wooyoung speechless at your words.

Before he was able to retaliate, San had swoop you back into his arms to take you to an empty room so Yeosang could come in and treat you.

"No," Wooyoung called, stopping San in his tracks, "bring her to my- our room, she should feel comfortable," to which San just nodded and obey, knowing how important it is to have you next to him as much as him next to you.

Yeosang came in not long after and spent 3 hours cleaning and stitching your wounds, checking for possible internal injuries, all the while making sure he's handling you with the utmost care as Wooyoung had been glaring daggers at him. Whether it serve to be a warning to not harm you or a sign of jealousy as Yeosang had a perfectly valid reason to cut your shirt and shorts off for handling.

"I can't make a clear diagnosis without checking for internal injuries, we have to take her to the hospital," Yeosang said. But Wooyoung just snap at him, "then freaking bring the machines here! She's not leaving this mansion and she's not leaving my side!"

Both men just stared at each other for a few minutes, Yeosang holding onto his ground on wanting simplicity, and Wooyoung being afraid of losing you from his sight again.

Knowing how stubborn his friend can be, Yeosang was first to crack, sighing and nodding at Wooyoung, "I'll see what I can do," he said simply before going out to talk to San about possibly transporting some of his machines.

The rest of the night, Wooyoung took care of you. He had put you in one of his large, white button up because it's the easiest to put on you. He stayed by your side in a chair, afraid that he might hurt you (than he already necessary does with his words) if he were to slip in bed with you.

As he watch you, his hands moved to held yours in his. His thumbs were rubbing the back of your hand when it suddenly caught on something.

Looking down, he noticed that it's your wedding ring, matching his own which he's wearing.

It brought a smile to his face seeing you're still holding onto it so dearly. You could've left it for him to find and throw away the day you left, but you had decided to take it with you.

Could it be that despite everything he's done to you, you don't want to completely erase him from your mind?

And that's what made Wooyoung broke down and cried.

He didn't deserve you, not one bit. But despite that, he knows that he's the only one capable enough of taking care of you, to provide for whatever it is that you need.

So at that moment, with you back in hia arms, he decided to step up and assume his responsibilities and treat you as how you deserve to be treated.

#ateez #ateez scenarios #ateez au #ateez imagines #ateez scenario #ateez imagine #timestamp #ateez timestamp #au #kpop au #kpop scenario #kpop imagine #kpop imagines #wooyoung #jung wooyoung #ateez wooyoung #smt timestamp

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elizabeethan · 3 years

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Overboard: 1/1

Emma Swan spends years trying to find her parents, and when she finally does, she gets more than she bargains for

A Silver Hook AU for @the-darkdragonfly

hours of watching Wicked Tuna has ruined me and thus this AU was born. Sorry...

Thank you to @the-darkdragonfly, @donteattheappleshook, and @xhookswenchx for listening to my ramblings

Rated M

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~~~~

The sun pours through his blinds, assaulting the lids of her eyes as she squeezes them shut. Delicate fingers dance across the expanse of her bare stomach, making her giggle before she even has the wherewithal to stop herself. As sleep leaves her assuredly, she should feel irritated, but she feels nothing but comfort in her bedmates arms.

“It’s rude to wake people up,” she chastises, and his answering hum is deep and rumbling against the skin below her ear. “Shouldn’t you have learned your manners by now?”

“Are you making fun of my age?”

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” she whispers back, giggling as he pokes his tongue against her skin and then nips at it lightly.

“That’s good. Because one mustn’t disrespect one's elder.”

“And you are quite a bit older than me,” she points out in jest, rolling onto her right side to face him straight on, her smile beaming as the sun lights her golden hair. He distracts himself from their morning banter to run his fingers delicately over her temple, tracing over the shell of her ear as he tucks a wayward strand behind it.

“I seem to recall you being a bit more appreciative last night. What was it you said? Something about my extensive practice?”

Emma hums softly, nuzzling her face into the skin of his palm as she recalls their rather satisfying evening. “It’s true,” she tells him. “With great age comes great experience.”

Killian laughs, refusing to let his thoughts of being too old for her taunt him. “I can assure you, I’m not nearly as experienced as you may believe.”

With a small shrug, Emma wriggles under the thin sheet that covers them until she can sling her legs over his own. “You’ve got a good decade on me. And trust me, you know what you’re doing.”

Killian falters, holding her cheek with his palm again as he pushes away more thoughts of self doubt. He stops himself from correcting her- fourteen years, love- and chooses instead to lift his head high enough to meet her lips with his. In the six months that he’s known her, he’s been endlessly fascinated by her free spiritedness. And in the four months since she joined him in his bed, hardly giving him much of a choice to deny her of what she so desperately wanted, he’s been unable to go much more than an hour without thoughts of her plaguing his mind. Thoughts of her body and her mind and her most alluring personality.

He’s falling for her, of this he is completely certain.

She grins against him in response to the groan that escapes his throat, her tongue lightly tracing the lines of his collarbone and making it that much harder for him to consider getting out of bed. “I’ll surely have a mutiny on my hands if you don’t stop now, love.”

Humming in question, Emma sits up and gives him a look of disgruntled confusion. “Your crew is going to be mad that you’re getting laid?”

With a smirk, one that he tries to fight, he shakes his head and says, “my crew is going to be mad if I miss another day on the water.”

Rolling her eyes, she responds, “I suppose I can’t keep you from your livelihood forever,” in concession.

He rolls them easily, Emma much lighter in weight than his usual catches as he flips her onto her back and latches his mouth to her neck. “That’s very considerate of you, siren,” he says against her warm flesh.

“I told you, I’m not a damn mermaid,” she says, likely rolling her eyes before she lets out a soft sigh.

“Aye, but I find myself struggling to believe you as you continue to seduce me with your wicked ways.”

Snorting softly, she meets his mouth with her own, sucking his bottom lip into her mouth gently and tracing her tongue along the tip of his own. She lets her hands wander, careful not to get too explorative with the knowledge that he should be getting up soon as she scrapes her fingers down the taute skin of his back. Despite her jokes, she really doesn’t want to keep him from his vessel. She knows his crew relies on their captain to bring them out each day, especially as the season comes to a close and the pressure to catch becomes more and more. But the way he kisses her gives her other ideas all together.

“I think one day I’d like to go out with you,” she hums thoughtfully against his mouth, and he stills anxiously. When they first met upon her first coming to town, Killian was almost embarrassed to tell her what he does for a living for fear of her judgment. Her genuine grin as he explained the way his family has been fishing for generations quelled his nerves, but still it felt like his profession wouldn’t be good enough for the likes of her.

“It can be quite dangerous,” he tells her instead, wanting not to dwell on the twinge of embarrassment that sits in the pit of his stomach at the thought of her watching on as he battles each and every paycheck he earns.

“I’m sure you’ll keep me safe,” she flirts, tenderly stroking her long fingers through the hair at the base of his scalp and smiling softly up at him. The sun catches her eyes again, the emerald reminding him of the warm ocean water stirred up after a rough storm.

His smile is sad and awkward as he turns his face from hers, glancing out the window at the horizon. “I’m sure there are better ways for you to pass your time visiting our sleepy little town.”

“Killian,” she says more firmly, moving her hands to cup his cheeks and encourage him to look back down at her. “You know I don’t plan on leaving anytime soon.”

The look in his eyes when they finally meet hers cracks her hardened heart, his anticipation of rejection something she knows all too well. “No one would blame you for heading back to Boston, love.”

She shakes her head. “I came here to meet my parents. To get to know them. And while that’s still important to me… they're not the only reason I’m sticking around.”

He feels selfish, foolish, as he gazes into her deep, soulful eyes. Of course he knows that Emma has a reason to stay in town, but when she says that he’s a part of that, he becomes consumed with a sense of desperate want. A desire to become all of that for her. An insatiable craving to become everything to her.

Of course, he’s never had much of a way with words. Thoughts, that’s a different story. But getting those thoughts out of his mouth and into the air between them is almost impossible. So, rather than express himself to her in the way that any mature adult should be able to, he leans down and captures her lips with his in a kiss that he hopes tells her everything that she deserves to know.

“You're going to be late,” she murmurs against him. “And as much as it would be nice to meet your friends, I’d rather not do so while I’m naked in your bed. I have a feeling they’re going to come knocking down your door if you don’t get to the docks.”

“Aye,” he agrees. “Hopefully we get lucky today and I can come back in relatively early. Will sometimes loses the plot if we come in empty handed.”

She rolls her eyes, prepared to make fun of how painfully British he sounds as he crawls over her to the edge of the bed, giving her a rather distracting view of his ass. He may be quite a few years older than her, but the physical nature of his work, and his devotion to his crew leading to him doing as much work as they do, gives him a physique that she isn’t shy about ogling.

“Will you tell me when you get in?” she asks shyly, the two of them playing off of the others insecurities without meaning to. “I mean, you don’t have to. But I’d like to see you--”

He cuts her off with his mouth on hers, leaning over her so that the stubble on his chin scratches against hers. “Normally, if we catch something, we bring it to the harbormaster to have it dressed and weighed. Perhaps I can inform you when we’re there? And meet you afterwards?”

She smiles up at him, careful not to let his words stall her as she considers their content. Perhaps it should have been obvious by now, that a local fisherman should have to deal with the harbormaster on a fairly regular basis, but the topic has never come up and so it’s stayed far from the front of her mind. “Okay,” she finally chokes out nervously. She’s always been good at hiding the intricacies of how she’s feeling, but given the way his eyes narrow at her, she wonders if she’s losing her touch. “I look forward to it.”

“Very good. Perhaps you’d… that is… I wonder if you’d be amenable to--”

“Killian.”

He clears his throat, standing from the bed and stepping away from the mattress to grab one of his aged knit sweaters. He’s rather old school in his techniques, she’s found, and the old fisherman sweaters that he wears out on his small fishing vessel are no exception.

Watching as he wrestles a pair of jeans over his legs, she giggles and sits up, bringing his thin sheet with her to cover her breasts modestly. Finally, while he stands by the door and fascens his watch to his wrist, he asks, “I simply wondered if you’d perhaps be interested in joining me for… a meal.”

Emma sits stoically still under his sheets as he fiddles around the room anxiously, refusing to look her way out of embarrassment and fear of rejection. She knows the feeling well, so she sits and waits for his eyes to dart in her direction before she gives him a soft, encouraging smile. “Are you asking me out?” she finally asks, and she watches his throat bob up and down before he turns to face her.

Clearing his throat, he says, “ah, I suppose I am.”

Really, it’s about bloody time he asks. Each time they’ve been together-- each time they’ve been anywhere near each other-- it’s been with her making the first move. He should be grateful for her willingness to take the leap that they both want to take, but after four months, he figures he’d best put his fears aside and grow a pair already.

It’s not that he thinks she’ll say no, although rejection is painful enough. His worry is that she’ll say yes, and eventually realize how much better she could have it. He’s a forty-year-old fisherman, for goodness sake. At only just twenty-six, she could certainly land a man with a more respectable, more lucrative, less deadly job, and that fact isn’t lost on him. It hasn’t been since the moment he first saw her at The Rabbit Hole six months ago.

She hums happily, smiling up at him and nodding. “I guess this means you’ll have to come in tonight. Better catch a good one, Captain.”

~~~~

“Oi, he lives!” Will calls from the dock next to Killian’s small boat, grinning and shoveling a pile of ice into the compartment under the deck. “We were worried you’d forgotten about us.”

“No,” Killian replies simply, shaking his head and climbing aboard. He makes his way into the wheelhouse, dropping his bag and turning the engine over. “We’ll need to get fuel before we head out.”

“Something you forgot to do last night? Perhaps you were too busy?” Robin asks, winking at his captain.

He rolls his eyes rather than responding, turning the engine on and checking the gauges as he listens to his mates making assumptions about his whereabouts.

When they finally get out onto the water, they avoid the other boats in the fleet in favor of finding solitude. A lot of the other captains think that Killian has some secret knowledge about the best places to drop anchor, but really, he just listens to his gut and gets lucky most of the time.

“So,” Will starts once they’ve put their lines out and chummed the water. “The blonde?”

Killian glares at his deckhand and friend, unwilling to give him much information about what he gets up to when they’re not at sea. He knows they did a piss poor job of keeping things quiet when they started up… whatever it is that they’ve started up, what with Emma practically jumping him after a few too many flirty comments were exchanged between the two of them. Everyone in the Rabbit Hole saw them that night, Emma’s fingers tightly gripping the lapels of his jacket and his sliding under her shirt and into her hair. Everyone saw them leaving together, too. His desire to hide her away and ensure that no one ever finds out about them is wholly unreachable at this point. He only wishes that he could quell his own fears about the judgment that the townsfolk must be passing on them. Emma is young, Killian is decidedly not. Emma can do better, Killian is batting far out of his league. Emma is an energetic young lady with her whole life and an endless amount of opportunities in front of her, Killian is a mildly successful fisherman. He can’t ever hope to be good enough for her, and the whole town knows it.

“Aye, the blonde,” he finally mumbles, wishing he could dive into the waves and never be heard from again.

“She’s quite something.”

“Aye.”

“A few years younger than you, if I had to guess.”

He glares to his left as Will continues to reel in some herring to use for bait, catching five at once without even blinking. Their age difference isn’t a secret, and it isn’t difficult to pick up on by simply observing the two of them for a few moments. The wrinkles around Killian’s eyes and the gray peppered throughout his hair and concentrated at his temples makes his age quite obvious. Meanwhile, Emma’s flawless physique and supple skin gives way to her youth, although her maturity is observable as well. One couldn’t possibly guess her to be a day over twenty-eight, and even then, she may seem too young for him.

Finally, he agrees, “aye.”

“Well, I think they make a lovely couple,” Robin supplies, poking his head out of the wheelhouse. “Sorry sod deserves a bit of happiness, finally.”

Rolling his eyes, Killian can’t help but agree with his friend’s sentiment. Despite the awkwardness and the assumptions of others, he can’t deny how happy he’s been since she rolled into town. And he definitely can’t deny how much happier he’s been in the last four months since she went home with him.

“I’m not sure she’ll be in town much longer,” Killian finally says after too much silence passes between the three of them, their lines quiet and the ocean seemingly empty below them.

“Didn’t she come searching for her parents?”

“Aye, she found them when she first arrived. But I can’t imagine her sticking around… I believe she simply wanted to get to know them a bit and then head back to Boston.”

Will and Robin must read the shift in his mood easily, the obvious disdain for the idea of her leaving Storybrooke and going back to the busy city where she could so easily meet someone worthy of her time. Perhaps he should let her go himself, be the one to make the difficult decision for them so as to not drag things out too long, but he’s a glutton for punishment and can’t possibly consider the idea of being separated from Emma Swan for a second longer than he absolutely has to be.

Rather than continuing the topic and torture Killian with thoughts of Emma inevitably leaving him, they change the subject to something equally as painful when Will jokes, “I’m sure her parents love you, aye? That age difference must have gone over well with dear-old-dad.”

Killian cringes and shakes his head. “I doubt they even know about me. I certainly don’t know much about them, aside from what she’s told me.”

“So she talks about that stuff with you?”

“Aye.” Will make a face, clearly surprised at his statement, and glances over at Robin suspiciously. “What?”

Robin shakes his head, casting another bait line, and says, “Nothing, we both just assumed it was just sex, that’s all.”

“What do you mean?” he asks curiously. It’s not because this is just sex to him, but because he’s curious about what they seem to think makes it not just sex for Emma.

Will laughs lightly, cheering when he brings in another line full of herring. “Mate, if she’s talking about her family, it’s not just sex.”

He hums thoughtfully, supposing that must be true. Emma wouldn’t confide in him about her upbringing— and her trauma, and her fears of abandonment— unless she was comfortable with him, would she? She wouldn’t have tried to process her feelings surrounding her adoption if she didn’t trust him, would she? She wouldn’t have agreed to a date with him tonight if some part of her didn’t like him, right?

“I love the look on his face when realization strikes,” Will jokes, bumping Killian with his elbow. He looks like he’s about to say more, perhaps another jest, perhaps something that will give Killian more insight into his companionship, but the radar starts marking fish and they each stand still and silent in anticipation.

The line starts clicking with the indication that something may be going for the bait, and when the reel begins screaming as the fish in question tries to escape, they jump into action. There’s shouting and running and fierce reeling, and it’s almost enough to get Killian’s mind off of Emma bloody Swan.

~~~~

Emma tries not to drag her feet as she makes her way down the main dock, the chilled ocean air sending a shiver down her spine despite her borrowing Mary Margaret’s windbreaker. With the season coming to close in a few weeks, the late fall weather sends a damp chill through her bones that she isn’t used to despite growing up in Minnesota.

It’s not as if she isn’t excited to see David this evening. She’s been spending time with him and Mary Margaret, and their son Leo as well, fairly regularly since she’s come to town. But things have been awkward to say the least.

She didn’t know about her brother when she arrived in Storybrooke. Finding out about him, finding out that he’s just turned eighteen, making them almost eight years apart, hurt a bit. Of course she understands that people change a lot in eight years. But the fact is, her parents had her and gave her away. They had her brother and raised him. It stings.

It stings. But it isn’t something any of them can change now. So she puts it behind her, just like Ingrid taught her.

If she wasn’t raised by such a soft, caring woman for most of her life, Emma’s certain she would be a different person from who she’s become. She had every chance to build walls as high as the eye can see, but Ingrid broke them down little by little from the day she welcomed Emma into her house when she was eight years old. After being given back by two families in a row, she was seen as broken, as damaged goods, as a stray no one could truly want. But Ingrid saw through her trauma and her bad behavior and welcomed her with open arms.

When she became sick, Ingrid gave Emma all of the information she was able to dig up on her parents. It wasn’t much to go on, and Emma initially refused to use any of it for fear of hurting her mother’s feelings. She didn’t want to make Ingrid feel like she was trying to replace her by finding her birth parents. But as Ingrid lay on her deathbed, the ovarian cancer too much for her frail frame to fight any longer, she begged Emma to seek her parents out, telling her that she deserves answers. That no matter the choice they made all those years ago, they deserve to know the beautiful woman they brought into this world.

She couldn’t exactly turn her down. So, traumatized and heartbroken, she put all that she had into expanding upon her mother’s research until finally, almost two years later, she found them.

David and Mary Margaret Nolan. She found them in a small fishing town off the coast of Maine, well known on the East Coast for their lucrative bluefin tuna fishing season.

It wasn’t exactly what she expected. And when she knocked on their door and a gangly teenager answered, she’ll admit to feeling slighted.

Okay, perhaps irrationally angry is more accurate. And if her method of coping was to go to the first bar she could find and get completely obliterated, so be it. The handsome man in the soft, cream colored sweater helping her to her room at Granny’s was an added bonus.

“Hey, Ems,” David calls from his makeshift desk where he does all of his accounting and paperwork. She’s sat here a few times before, but found herself bored out of her mind in a matter of minutes as she watched him work over his ledgers.

“Hi,” she greets back. She’s found that she doesn’t really call them anything. It doesn't feel right to call them mom or dad, because she had a mom. And while David may be her biological father, he isn’t really her dad. So instead, she doesn’t address them as anything.

“I’ve got a couple of boats coming in,” he informs her. “Season’s almost over, so the fish are big this time of year. You may get to see some record-breakers.”

“Cool,” she smiles, taking a seat on the folding table he sits at all day, cringing as it creaks under her weight.

“I think your… I think Mary Margaret is gonna come out tonight too. We were thinking of grabbing dinner. You know, celebrate the weekend, and all that.”

With a small grin coloring her features, her heart skips a beat at the thought of the sailor hopefully making his way to shore as they speak. She doesn’t doubt that he’s on his way, but she isn’t sure how happy he’ll be if he comes in empty handed and with an angry crew. “I actually have plans,” she tells him with a blush.

“Dinner plans?”

“Yep,” she answers with a nod. “A date.”

“A date,” David says, his brows drawing close together as he crosses his arms over his chest. “Who are you--”

He’s interrupted by his wife, her excited voice carrying across the length of the docks as she hurries towards them. “Emma!” she shouts as she gets closer. “Hi, honey!”

She tenses slightly at the title, still feeling uncomfortable when she hears words of affection coming from the woman who gave birth to her. She smiles anyway, waving softly and hopping off of the table, letting the woman embrace her briefly before pulling away. “Hi.”

“Did your father ask you to dinner? We figured we’d celebrate the weekend starting. Plus, it seems like the fleet did really well this week, doesn't it, David? The buyers are always more generous at the end of the season--”

“Emma has plans,” David cuts her off. “A date.”

“A date?”

“A date.”

“Do you guys mind?” she asks, only half joking. It’s been hard enough opening up to them and letting them into her heart and her personal life. She does try to not use humor as a way to keep them at a distance, really.

Mary Margaret clears her throat, smiling at Emma sweetly and only a bit awkwardly. “Who is your date with, sweetheart?”

“Well,” she starts turning to face David, “you might actually know him.”

“Oh, hold that thought for just a second, Ems. A boat’s coming in.”

She turns to face the water below them, noting the modestly sized vessel floating towards the loading dock. Two crewmen stand outside, grabbing for ropes as they pull themselves against the dock while the captain stands in the wheelhouse, diligently watching as he guides the boat. She smiles at the sight, taking in his ruffled appearance and the fact that he’s changed his sweater, wondering what happened out at sea to make the other one unwearable.

“Evening, Dave,” one of his mates calls, waving in their direction once the boat is secured to the dock. “We’ve got two big ones for ya.”

David praises him, watching as they open up a small hatch in the floor of the boat and reveal two massive fish. Emma’s never seen anything like it, the tunas taking up the entire space below the main deck. They must be almost twice as long as she is tall. “Think we’ve got a good thousand pounds here,” the other man calls as he wraps a rope around one of the tails. “Hope we can lift it.”

Killian trips and stumbles when he sees her, the blush on his cheeks spreading to his ears and down his neck and reminding her of how he looks when he’s about to finish inside her. The thought makes her blush as well as she grins down at him, giving him a small wave. He’s been quiet and shy for as long as she’s known him, but he’s also professional, and his silence and lack of greeting is almost concerning.

He climbs off the boat, hoisting himself easily onto the dock as the muscles under his sweater ripple with the effort. Clearing his throat, he finally makes eye contact with her, smiling awkwardly as his blush deepens. “Evening, Miss Swan,” he says sweetly, reminding her of when they met months ago. She’s not sure she likes it.

“Hi, Killian,” she responds with a smirk, making his blush deepen and heating him to an uncomfortable temperature in his dampened sweater. The first fish they caught was barely above the length requirement and relatively easy to hoist onto the deck, but the second has to be one of the largest they’ve ever gotten, and it put up one hell of a fight.

“You two know each other?” David asks, glancing between him and Emma, and it strikes Killian that she isn’t here waiting for him like he thought. She’s standing by the harbormaster, relatively close to his wife and child, and things start to fall into place in his mind.

They’ve talked about her parents briefly, about how they were young when they had her and made the decision to give her up at the persuasion of both of their parents. She told him about how they had a son a few years later and raised him. She just never told him that her father is the bloody harbormaster.

“Yeah,” she answers finally, giving David Nolan a smile that Killian recognizes. It’s the same one that David gives him when he catches a big fish; friendly and necessary but not entirely genuine. She doesn’t expand upon how they met, or how they know each other, or the nature of their relationship, and the harbormaster looks at Killian suspiciously as the machinery lifts his second fish onto the dock.

David evaluates each fish and offers him a hefty price for the both of them. The second one, the one that gave them such trouble, is over a thousand pounds, just like Will had guessed, so they make out very well after just one days work. Normally, their undeniable success would be enough to erase any negative thought floating around in Killian’s head, but all he can focus on is the fact that he’s pretty sure he’s standing beside the father of the woman he’s sleeping with.

He tries to be an adult about it, ignoring the awkward air that has settled between them as David’s family watches on happily, but when Emma asks, “are you ready to go, Killian?” everyone’s eyes dart up immediately.

Thankfully, the check had already been cut and handed to Killian, because he’s almost certain that he wouldn’t have gotten his hands on it if Emma’s question had come any sooner. He watches as David’s eyes grow twice their normal size, his wife’s mouth falling agape as she turns to stare at Emma in complete shock.

“No,” David says immediately, shaking his head in denial and turning to face his daughter. “Absolutely not.”

“Excuse me?” Emma asks, raising both brows in challenge and taking a step away from her mother and towards Killian. She sees his eyes widening and darting between the three of them nervously as the exchange becomes more and more tense.

The man, only slightly older than Killian, clears his throat and looks at his daughter again before saying, “please tell me you're not dating him.”

“How dare you,” she accuses immediately, stepping back once more until she stands beside Killian, his warmth radiating off of him and comforting her just slightly in the wake of her anger. She doesn’t even know why he would say something like that, what would make him feel the need to say that, but she’s quick to become defensive. She knows Killian is a good person, and she feels immediately as if this man has no right to dictate who she dates.

“Honey,” Mary Margaret starts, stepping closer to her and placing her hand on her elbow just as Emma pulls away. She looks in Killian’s direction awkwardly and tensely before trying again. “It’s just… he’s a bit older...”

“I don’t see how that’s any of your business,” she says angrily, and notices David stiffening beside his wife.

“Emma, please. He just catches fish for half a year. You’re too young to be thinking about settling down with someone who doesn’t have a stable career. Not to mention, he’s almost the same age as me and your mother.”

She senses him becoming rigid beside her, his shoulders rising slightly and his jaw clenching in tense discomfort at the accusation. They’ve had this conversation briefly several times, sometimes jokingly and sometimes out of his own insecurities. He’s always seen himself as too old for her-- too old, too common, not good enough-- and the confirmation from her father surely hurts him.

Of course, they’ve never talked much about who her parents are. They’ve had their share of conversations about her past and why she’s here, so he knows plenty about the things that she’s been through, but she never felt the need to tell him who they are. She never even put two and two together that he may know her father until this morning. And now she’s hurt him by keeping this from him.

With shock and anger, she answers too loudly. “Well, it’s not my fault you guys had me at 17, it is? And are you really judging him for his job? He works hard every day!”

“Emma,” Killian tries softly, placing his hand on her elbow, but she pulls away in the same way that she had with her mother.

“No! They have no right to judge you for what you do for a living. Or us for our age difference. This is completely ridiculous.”

“It’s alright, love,” he says, resigning to the fact that he’s likely going to lose her. Her parents are right; his job is seasonal and not always as lucrative as he would like, and he’s closer in age to her parents than he is to her. It was bound to end eventually, he tells himself sadly, as she deserves so much more than he’s able to give her. “I’ll go.”

“You’re not going anywhere unless you're bringing me with you,” she gripes angrily, grabbing his hand in her own and yanking him away from where her parents are standing. He lets her pull him along, looking back nervously at the harbormaster and his wife as they gape at the two of them.

~~~~

“How dare they,” she grumbles, slamming his front door harder than he thinks she means to. “I mean, they barely know me, never mind you.”

“Emma,” he tries, but she refuses to let him get a word in edgewise as she continues her venting.

“It would be one thing if they had actually raised me. If they instilled in me these values that they seem to think puts them on a pedestal. But they gave me away.”

He guides her gently through his small cottage, the weight of his hand on the small of her back serving as a reminder that he’s here for her.

“Emma,” he repeats once they’re sitting and she’s able to hear him. “You know I understand.”

She does know this. He told her one night, while their legs were entwined and their arms were around one another, about the way his father abandoned him and his brother when he was just a boy. “I know,” she confirms softly.

“And you also know that I hate the idea of getting in between you and your family. They’re the reason you’re here in the first place, love.”

She stares at him for a moment, taking in the meaning of his words and angering when she realizes that he thinks he’s the problem here.

“Stop,” she insists suddenly. “If you’re making me consider them my family, then I’m going to consider you my family, too.”

“Love--”

“I’ve known you the same amount of time as I have them. And you’ve never once judged me, or let me down, or made me feel… like I’m doing something wrong.”

His face drops slightly in response to her words as he saddens. It kills him to know that she’s been made to feel this way. “I appreciate hearing that, love. But at the same time… they have a point. I’m closer in age to your parents than I am to you.”

“Please,” she says, rolling her eyes and pushing his shoulders until he’s lying down and she’s lying across his chest. “You should hear about some of the other guys I’ve dated. You being old is nothing.”

He pinches her hip in response to her jest and says, “I dare not hear about them, or else I may leave here and start a fight with each of them.”

“You’re too old to fight.”

“Aye, that’s right.”

They lie in comfortable silence, Killian’s tired arms running up and down along her spine until her breathing evens out. It’s either an indication that she’s feeling less angry, or that she’s fallen asleep, but he knows it to be the former when she speaks up.

“Do you know that you smell really bad? Like… I mean really bad.”

“Thank you, darling.”

“You’re welcome,” she says, and he can hear the sly smile in her voice without needing to see her perfect face. “You know, I could probably help you with that.”

“Is that so?” he asks in falsified surprise.

“Yes,” she nods. “A nice hot shower is just what the doctor ordered.”

“Oh, are we playing doctor now, Swan?”

“Ugh, no, Jones. It isn’t 1950 anymore, old man. Kids don’t play doctor. Now come with me if you want me to soap you up.”

She yanks him from the couch, guiding him through his small space until they reach the shower. It’s a tight fit, squeezing the both of them inside, but she somehow manages to get on her knees before him and quell his anxieties that he’s not good enough for her. Her mouth is useful when it’s using words to comfort him, and it’s just as useful when she’s using it to worship him until he can finish in the back of her throat.

As she stands slowly and salaciously, the warm water trickles down her face and into her hair, dampening the flawless length of her body as she reaches behind him for the body wash. “Does this mean you aren’t going to leave me?” she asks softly as she squeezes some soap into her palm. He can barely stand straight, leaning against the wall of the shower as she begins to lather the soap over the coarse hair on his chest.

His thoughts finally return to him and he says, “please tell me you didn’t just give me the best blowjob of my life as a means to convince me.”

She snorts, wrapping her arms around his waist and running her hands up and down his back. He knows she’s trying to follow through on her promise to soap him up, but she grabs onto his rear and he isn’t sure if she’s cleansing him correctly. “No,” she responds, pressing her lips to his neck and licking along his racing pulse. “But... did it help persuade you?”

He hums, not trusting his own voice and nodding. “It did,” he breathes, then he rights himself and remembers how imperative it is that he get his point across. “Emma, I don't want to leave you. I don’t think I’ll ever be happy if you aren’t by my side. I just… I only want to do what’s best for you.”

“You are what’s best for me,” she says, her voice barely audible over the sound of the running water. She finally looks up, releasing her lips and tongue from his skin and meeting his eyes with hers. “I never… I mean, I didn't grow up with a family. I know how to get by without my parents. But it’s-- It’s different with you. Ingrid always said that I need to fight for my happiness. I finally understand what she meant now that I’ve met you. I can’t lose you.”

Her words are so soft, so small, that he could have missed them. If he wasn’t watching the way her lips moved when she spoke, he would have. The way that she’s able to perfectly express how she’s feeling, while also giving words to the way that he feels about her, makes his heart practically jump out of his chest.

“Love,” he breathes, his voice gruff and barely audible as he cups her cheek with his palm. “I can’t lose you either.”

“You just mean a lot to me,” she whispers.

“Aye. You mean more to me than I could put into words.”

“Then please don’t leave me,” she mouths. He knows she had the intention to say the words aloud, but it’s as if she isn’t able to.

He’s unable to form the words that he so desperately wants to, either, so he leans in close to her and captures her lips between his own, molding their mouths together as if they were made for each other. And she kisses him back in a way that conveys how she feels about him.

Her fingers slide through his chest hair, scratching along his skin as they glide up towards his neck. She grips the back of his hair with her fingers, grounding herself through the emotion of the entire evening. It was hard enough on her when she learned her parents disapproved of her lover. Harder still when she found out he was considering leaving her for what he assumed was her own good. Now, she can’t get enough of the soothing comfort that comes from being with him.

He reaches behind himself, easily shutting off the flow of the water so that the silence of the room consumes them. The only sounds between them are the weakened, aged fan and the sounds of their heavy breathing.

“I’m— I—.” She starts speaking, but cuts herself off in favor of kissing him again.

“Aye,” he agrees, and although he doesn’t know what she was going to say exactly, he has a hunch and hopes to any god who may be listening that he’s right.

“Take me to bed,” she asks against his mouth. “I need you.”

He doesn’t waste a moment; when Emma Swan tells him to take her to bed, he knows he’d better listen. Pushing the curtain aside, he holds it open for her and allows her to step out of the shower, holding onto her elbow in hopes that he’s offering her some semblance of support. It’s entirely unnecessary, though; Emma Swan is the strongest person he’s ever met. She gives him a soft smile in thanks, grabbing his towel off of the hook and using it to dry herself quickly before turning it towards him and tossing it into his hair. She scrubs the towel through the gray and black locks playfully, giggling when she lifts it over his eyes and smiling at him so brightly that he finds it impossible not to grin back. “Thank you,” he says softly, and she leans forward, holding the towel around his head and using it like a hood to pull him into a kiss.

What starts as chaste and gentle turns heated and passionate in second, her tongue sliding against his and her hands lighting a trail of fire as they scratch down his back. He picks her up easily, her slender frame much less heavy than the monsters he battled earlier, and carries her bridal style over the threshold of the bathroom and towards the bed they’ve been sharing. The bed in which he hopes to never sleep alone again.

He presses her down into the mattress, making her groan into his mouth and wrap her ankles around his hips. She’s desperate to pull him closer to her, to have him inside her until she’s seeing stars behind her eyelids. He never fails to bring her ecstasy, each time they’re together fighting for the title of ‘the best time’. When his fingers find her sensitive and soaked for him, he smirks against her lips and kisses her harder. When he slides into her, making her gasp with the welcome ache as he stretches her, they press their foreheads together and breathe each other in. He rocks into her slowly and gently, exactly as she needs him. He reads her effortlessly and flawlessly, stroking her above where their bodies join until she’s powerless to stop the desperate noises from filling the room.

She squeezes her entire body around him as they finish together, and she cries out his name in loving praise as he spills himself into her. He can’t get enough of her, the high of being with her is like a drug from which he will never be fully sated, and he will never stop trying to bring her pleasure and joy and contentment for as long as she allows him to stay by her side.

The hum that leaves her throat as they come down together relays exactly how he feels as well. They’re sated for now as they embrace each other, although he knows that his longing for her is only slightly extinguished, only to be fueled again with just the slightest encouragement from her.

“That was nice,” she breathes nonchalantly, making him smile softly through hooded eyes as he rolls onto his side to look at her longingly.

“That’s one word for it, I suppose,” he concedes, running his hand up and down along the length of her waist. Her eyes flutter shut at the tickling sensation and she leans close to him to press a soft kiss to his lips.

“Very excellent? As if I was being fucked by a savant? Is that better?”

“No,” he whispers, “I think you’re just making fun of my age again with that one.”

With a soft grin, she says, “you’re pretty slick for an old guy.”

“Hush.”

She snuggles into his chest, resting her head under his chin and kissing against his collarbone before uttering, “a quick nap, and then you’re taking me to dinner.”

“Your heart’s desire, Swan. I promise that’s all I want you to have.”

~~~~

There’s an old wives tale, apparently, that tuna are more active during a storm. At least, that’s what Killian told Emma when he left that morning with the sky bright red. She was expecting him to heed the weather advisory and the warnings given by the coast guard that it isn’t safe for small crafts to be out during the oncoming storm, but of course, he’s as stubborn as she is and dedicated to his career and to his crew. They all want to go out and catch fish, so that’s what they do.

It’s not like she doesn’t trust his abilities as the captain, because of course she does. And it’s not like she’s naive enough to think that he’s never been out in bad weather before. But they’d just had a heart to heart a few nights ago, and if she loses him to a storm, she’s certain that she’ll lose what’s left of her sanity as well.

The fact is, she loves him. She knows she does, and she knows that she has since the moment she met him. She doesn’t care that he’s older than her, or that he works seasonally, or that he considers himself to be not good enough for her. What matters is that he’s the kindest person she’s ever met. He’s the most generous man who’s ever been in her life. She’s never met someone so gentle and caring and utterly perfect, and she feels physically sick at the thought of losing what she has with him.

He makes her want to be a better person. He makes her strive for patience and understanding, rather than impulsivity. He makes her rethink her tendency to shut people out before they can hurt her. She’s better for having met him, and she fears what she could become if she loses him to a crashing wave or a sinking ship.

After he leaves, after she watches as he sets off into the open ocean, she heads to Granny’s, the wind already strong enough to push her in that direction. She has a room rented out, but she hasn’t been in it in days in favor of staying with Killian, locking themselves away from the world and letting themselves be consumed with one another. She dreads the idea of going to her empty room, the one that isn’t hers and Killian’s, but she’s in need of a good facemask after neglecting her routine for days on end, and she could use a change of clothes that don’t belong to him.

After showering and, admittedly, taking an unexpected nap, she wakes ready for an order of grilled cheese and onion rings. The bell above the door chimes when she opens it, and Granny gives her a quick yet welcoming smile. “Afternoon,” she calls from behind the counter. “Want a seat with your folks?”

Emma groans internally as she turns and sees her parents and brother sitting in a booth, each of them giving her a kind smile. She returns it, although hers is much tighter than theirs seem to be, and says, “sure,” in a less-than-convincing tone.

“Hi, honey,” Mary Margaret says when Emma approaches them reluctantly, and she tries (and probably fails) to hide her cringe.

“Hey.”

David slides over towards the wall, offering her the only available seat beside him. “Been a few days, huh? How’s it going?”

“Fine,” she shrugs. “I’ve been staying with Killian.”

She watches as her parents stiffen, her brother obviously indifferent to her dating life. “That’s… nice,” Mary Margaret forces out, her discomfort so plainly written across her face that Emma has to stop herself from rolling her eyes. She didn’t come here to start anything, and she didn’t sit with them because she wanted to argue, but it’s becoming more and more difficult.

“Yes, it is nice. Killian is nice. And polite, and compassionate, and perfect in every way. So yes, it’s been a very pleasant few days.”

“I’m glad you’ve… I'm glad that you’re happy,” Mary Margaret chokes out.

“I am.”

They’re silent. Emma’s lunch is delivered to the table and they eat quietly, the only sounds between the four of them the bustle of the diner and the appreciative hum that David gives with each bite of soup. The wind whips outside, rattling the windows violently and blowing over a table on Granny’s patio. Many of the patrons stand, David and Leo included, and hurry outside to right the fallen piece of furniture, and Emma begins to gnaw at the short nail on her left thumb.

“It’s bad out there,” she remarks obviously, her leg bouncing up and down in quick, anxious succession. “I hope--”

She notes the way Mary Margaret looks out the window with wide eyes, realization setting in as the source of her daughter’s fear becomes obvious. “Emma, is he out there? In this weather?”

Emma looks at her mother and, for the first time since they’ve met, finds comfort in her eyes rather than a reason for distrust. “Yes,” she chokes out in a whisper, sucking her lips between her teeth. “He said he’d be fine, but…”

Mary Margaret nods in understanding. “It’s kind of bad out there.” Emma nods, too. “I can see why you’re so worried.”

“His boat is pretty small,” she explains, her voice shaking. “But he said it’s the best time to catch the fish.”

“That’s what your father always says, too,” Mary Margaret responds, reaching across the table and giving Emma’s hand a squeeze. For the first time since she’s met her mother, she doesn't pull away. “I’m sure he’ll be alright. He’s a knowledgeable captain.”

“He has been doing this a while,” Emma reasons, mostly with herself.

Mary Margaret sighs, giving Emma’s hand one final squeeze before letting go and leaning forward towards her daughter. “Sweetheart,” she starts, pursing her lips together thoughtfully. “I-- I’d like to apologize for the way your father and I reacted the other night. It wasn’t fair of us to judge your… relationship.”

Emma looks up into the eyes of the woman who gave birth to her, the woman who gave her away, and sees truth behind them. “It wasn’t,” she agrees.

“I can tell now that you truly care for him.”

“I do,” she nods. “Very much.”

“It’s just that,” she starts slowly, noticing her husband and son reentering the diner. “Well, you’re our little girl. It was surprising to find out that you’ve been seeing someone, never mind someone so much older than you. We just want what’s best for you.”

David sits beside Emma again and Leo takes his seat next to his mother, both of them looking as though they realize that they’ve walked into a pretty serious conversation. Emma thinks about holding back with their arrival, especially considering the presence of her brother, but she simply can’t.

“No offense or anything, but… I'm not your little girl. I never was. I never got the chance to be. And Killian’s age means nothing to me because he’s the best person I’ve ever known. No one else I’ve dated has ever treated me nearly as well as he has; no one listens to me or cares for me or loves me the way he does. And as terrifying as it is, because my dating history has seriously sucked, I know he loves me without even hearing him say it. And I… I love him too. And I’m really going insane right now not knowing if he’s alright out there, and you judging me for being with him isn’t helping how crazy I feel.”

The table is silent for an uncomfortable amount of time, and Emma chooses to go back to eating her onion rings and nervously bouncing her feet against the floor. Mary Margaret gulps, David’s wide eyes look between Emma and his wife, and Leo awkwardly eats his fries in the same way that Emma does. It’s the most painful silence she thinks she’s ever sat through.

“I’m sorry,” David finally says softly, turning his entire body so that he can face Emma. “It startled and surprised us when we found out, but you’re right. It isn’t fair for us to judge you. We’re clinging to the hope that you’d be, well, our little girl. But it’s time we realize that isn’t realistic and celebrate the time that we do get to spend with you. No matter who you choose to spend your time with.”

“Thanks,” she mumbles. She appreciates the sentiment, truly, but she gets the feeling there’s a but coming.

“I just hope that he feels as strongly for you as you clearly do for him.”

She tries her hardest to ensure that the look she gives him from the corner of her eye is not a glare, and she nods. “He does.”

“Alright, then,” David says casually, folding up his napkin and placing it on his plate before grabbing for his wallet. “Let's head to the docks and check the radar, then, shall we?”

Her eyes widen with anticipation and relief as she asks, “can you do that?”

“I’m the harbormaster. I can do whatever I want,” he says with a smirk and a wink shot in her direction. She follows him out of the booth with more enthusiasm than she’s felt all day, practically skipping out of the diner behind her father.

~~~~

“I can hear all of the long-range radio communications on here,” he explains once they arrive at his makeshift office. He pulls out his chair for her and lets her sit while he adjusts the receiver. “You’ll just have to listen out for him. So far, no distress signals or anything, though.”

“Good,” she agrees. She jumps in excitement when she hears a message coming through, and even though it isn’t from Killian, she knows he’s out there with this other captain.

She listens in silence for a while, David leaning against the table beside her and Mary Margaret and Leo standing off to the side and talking quietly. She hears many messages come in, many captains talking back and forth about the storm and the choppy waters and the dangerous conditions. A few of them have caught some fish, so she supposes it was worth it to them, but she hasn’t heard anything from Killian.

Eventually, after what feels like far too much time has passed, she hears someone ask for him. Emma desperately wishes there was a transmitter that would allow her to speak to him, but all she can do now is sit by and listen.

“Jolly, you still on?” the man asks, and David translates to let Emma know that they're wondering if Killian is still reeling in a tuna.

There isn’t a response, though. David explains that each captain should let the others in the fleet know when they’ve caught something, and Killian’s lack of response probably means that he and his crew are still wrestling with the giant beast. At least, that’s what she tells herself.

“Jolly Roger, come in. You guys still on?”

“Guess that means yes,” another captain responds after a moment. “‘Less he went overboard.”

Emma pales, putting her hand over her mouth and biting her lip until David places his hand on her shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. “He’s joking,” he tells her. “They’re all like that. A bunch of ball-busters.”

She nods and gulps, listening on as the fleet’s captains joke with each other as if there isn’t a nor'easter threatening to capsize each and every one of them. As if it isn’t possible that it’s already taken the man she loves away from her. She hears one of them saying that they’re on their way back to the docks, having caught a fish big enough to justify ending their trip, and she silently begs anyone who might be listening that Killian is finishing up catching something big and will do the same.

Eventually, after far too long, someone speaks up and says, “I’m going in, too. Anyone hear from Jones?”

“No,” another answers. “He was fighting something big; hopefully they catch it soon. Gettin’ bad out here.”

Emma knows she can’t wait at the docks for him forever. It’s unrealistic, and she’s going to freeze to death. It’s nearly winter, and the mixture of snow and rain and heavy wind that assaults her in the scarcely covered dock is starting to soak down to her bones. But she can’t leave. She still hasn’t heard Killian’s voice over the radio-- it’s been pretty silent for the last hour-- and she can’t get herself to leave before she knows that he’s alright.

Mary Margaret apologizes as she leaves, bringing Leo with her to get warm. She says she’ll have a mug of cocoa waiting for Emma at Granny’s, but she isn’t sure when she’ll make it over there. Despite how cold and wet she is, she can’t leave here until he gets back. She can’t even think of the alternative to him coming back.

David waits with her for another hour. They’re fairly quiet, hardly any words exchanged between the two of them, but after some time passes, he starts to open up to her in a way she never expected. He tells her how grateful he is that she found them. He tells her how impossible it was for him and Mary Margaret to give her up, and that both of their parents essentially forced their hands due to their young age. He tells her how painful it was, finding out about Mary Margaret’s unplanned pregnancy and being faced with the reality that they could keep this child and they couldn’t keep her. He tells her how badly he wanted to try to find her, considering breaking the terms of the closed adoption that fell through for years. He had no idea that the family who adopted her initially had sent her back because once they agreed to place her for adoption, they gave up their right to know anything about her.

Tears spring into his eyes when he talks of wanting to give her her best chance. When he admits to her that giving her away was a mistake-- “the biggest I’ve ever made.”

When she was young, this is what she’d hoped for. She dreamt of her tortured parents, broken because of their decision to give her away. She’d hoped that they realized their mistake and regretted it every day. But now, seeing the way that the decision they made 25 years ago hurts her father, she wishes she could take his pain away. They didn’t have much of a choice at 17, what with having no income and no support from their families. They thought they were doing what was best for her; they can’t help that it didn’t work out that way.

“It’s alright, dad,” she finally says after some silence passes between them. She notes the way he looks up at her hopefully, his eyes still glassed over, and she realizes why. She’s never called him that before, never thought she ever would. But in this moment, with the support and honesty and love he’s shown her, she can’t think of him as anyone other than her father. Her dad.

She sniffles as she steps towards him, her eyes beginning to match his own, and she embraces him. It feels exactly how she’d hoped hugging her father would feel. It feels true, and loving, and she’s at peace here with him.

“I love you,” he says into her hair, his hand cupping the back of his head. “I always have, since the moment I found out about you. I’m so sorry I couldn’t give you the life you deserved.”

She doesn’t even think before she says, “I love you, too.”

A boat comes in and David buys their fish. When asked about the Jolly Roger, the captain shrugs and says he hasn’t heard from Killian since he got a tuna on his line, but that was hours ago. “Sometimes it takes a whole day to get them on the deck,” David tells her after the captain leaves. “With the weather, I'm sure they’re being challenged out there. But we would’ve heard a distress call if anything was wrong.”

She tells herself that he’s right, and that he would know, and sits back down at the table. She can’t torture herself standing by the entrance of the warehouse, getting soaked and becoming even more frozen as she stares out at the horizon. She distracts herself with her phone, trying to keep busy as she waits, wishing he would call or text her to let her know that he’s alright.

It’s nearly dark when David calls her over, and when she looks up, she sees a small vessel backing up towards the dock, Will and Robin tossing some rope around the post to keep the boat from floating out to sea. She stands with such force and hope that she sends the chair crashing to the ground, but she hardly notices as she starts running towards the stairs. It’s still windy and cold, but the snow and rain has slowed, making it just a bit safer as she sprints down the wooden stairs and across the dock where he’s landed.

“Killian!” she calls as she gets closer, and she sees him poking his head out from the small cabin at the sound of her voice, shutting off the engine and hurrying towards the edge of the deck. She doesn’t let him disembark, choosing instead to jump onto the deck and nearly shoving Will to the ground as she fights her way towards him, crashing into his sturdy arms.

“Bloody hell,” he whispers into her hair as he holds her close, his arms wrapping tightly around her and warming her in a way that nothing else possibly could. His sweater is damp, and she’s soaked to the bone, but neither of them care. She can finally breathe again with her nose against his neck and her arms around his waist, squeezing him close to her.

“Are you okay?” she finally asks against his skin. She pulls away so that she can look at him, holding his head in her hands and bringing his lips to hers in a relieved kiss. “Fuck,” she breathes when she pulls away. “I thought… I was so worried about you.”

“I’m sorry--” he says against her mouth when she kisses him again. He chuckles softly and tries again, “I’m sorry, my love. I didn’t mean to worry you.” His hand leaves her hip and brushes her wet hair out of her face, his fingers returning to trace gently over her cheek.

“We listened to the radio, but we never heard from you. I thought something was wrong, or--” she cuts herself off, biting her bottom lip and staring into his eyes, as deep and blue as the ocean.

“The radio went out with some lightning. If I’d known you were listening… bloody hell. I’m so sorry, Emma.”

She tries to kiss him again, their lips touching for just a single, unsatisfying second before they're interrupted by Will. “Oi, you’re standing right over the fish, mate. You lot can canoodle after we get the check, aye?”

They caught three giant fish, the maximum they’re allowed to have on their boat at one time. She supposes he was right about a storm being the best time to go fishing, but she doesn’t think she’d survive if he went out in this weather again. She wonders in the back of her mind if the hefty paycheck David gives them for their catch is influenced by her in any way, but she tries not to dwell on it. Afterall, it could be worse. At least her father somewhat approves of him now, or at the very least, tolerates the fact that they're together.

When they're done, he hands the keys to his mates and squeezes her hand. “I promise I’m not going out there in this weather again, love; not if it’s going to worry you. It isn’t worth putting you through that again.”

“Good man,” David says softly, nodding to himself as he packs up his supplies. “Ems, I’ll meet you at Granny’s? We should probably dry off.”

“Sure,” she responds with a nod and a smile. “Tell-- tell mom I’ll be there soon.”

David blushes and nods back at her, giving her a shy smile. “Will do, kiddo.”

They walk away hand in hand, both of them damp and freezing and in desperate need of the embrace of the other.

“‘Mom’?” he asks her when they're out of earshot, trekking towards the small cottage that’s been in his family for generations. She can hear the smile in his voice over the whipping winds, and can’t help but to smile as well.

“I had a very interesting day,” she explains casually, looking up at him and smiling before looking back down, careful as she navigates over the bumpy stone path that leads to his front door. It’s a very short walk; his house beside the lighthouse is prime real estate in the small fishing town. “Little heart to heart with my parents.”

“That’s wonderful, love,” he encourages, squeezing her hand as he fiddles with the lock with his other. When they finally get inside, out of the storm and into the warmth of his small living room, he says, “I’m happy for you.”

She hums and smiles softly, turning to him and wrapping her fingers around the neck of his rain and ocean soaked sweater. “You should start a fire,” she suggests in a whisper. “And get out of these clothes.”

“Aye, same could be said for you, angel. How long were you by the docks waiting?” he asks, running the tip of his finger along her temple and down her cheek.

“I don't know, it felt like hours.”

“I’m so sorry,” he whispers. “I didn’t realize you were waiting. I would've tried calling, but there was spotty reception.”

“It’s alright,” she whispers back, pushing her forehead against his and cupping the back of his head with her hands. “I’m just glad you're alright.”

“Aye.”

“And there's… there’s something I have to tell you.”

“What’s that?”

It doesn't matter that they're both nearly dripping on the floor of his entryway, or that her hair resembles a birds nest, or that he smells like fish. None of the imperfections matter because when they're together, they disappear. Everything that could make their moment together feel amiss fades into the background when she smiles and whispers, “I love you.”

His heart stops beating. He wonders if he’s old enough to have a heart attack. It doesn't matter, because Emma admitting her love for him will surely keep him alive if he is. He chokes slightly, swallowing and taking a deep breath and then laughing and shaking his head in disbelief. Emma Swan loves him.

She giggles, too, her nose brushing against his as she asks, “are you in there?” and taps her fingers on his temple.

“Aye, I’m just… bloody hell. I love you.”

“You do?” she asks happily, her smile nearly blinding.

“Yes,” he responds. “Unequivocally. More than I ever thought it was possible to love a person. My life was so mundane and futile until you came into it, but Emma, you’ve given me so much hope. You’ve made my life… worth it.”

She breathes out a laugh and sniffles, scratching her fingers along his scalp and shaking her head. “You old sap,” she chastises playfully, making him laugh too. “I couldn’t agree more.”

Their kiss is perfect. They don’t need the heat of the fire to warm them up because the energy between them is enough. He doesn’t feel the need to strip off his clothes because of how soaked through they are; moreso because of how badly he needs to touch her. All he can think about is her body on his and the cursed amount of layers he’s adorning. He feels slightly less suffocated when she strips him of his thick sweater, but only slightly.

She moans as she pulls at his trousers, popping open the button and sliding the zip as far down as it’ll go. Reaching inside, she palms at the contours of his hardened length over his underwear. She giggles, the sound ringing through his ears joyously, when she tucks her fingers under his long underwear and is met with even more fabric. “You really layered up, huh, Captain?”

He nearly chokes at her use of his title, never liking it falling from anyone else’s lips as much as he does hers, and nods. “A winter storm requires prep-- preparation,” he stutters.

His eyes grow about twice their size and his breathing completely stops as she sinks to her knees before him, making her smirk as she looks up at him through her lashes in a way that she knows drives him mad. She’s practically buzzing as she looks up at his bare chest, the veins in his arms popping out tantalizingly as she runs her nose along the soft fabric of his long underwear.

The sounds he makes are unintelligible, and she’s found that that is exactly what she seeks when she gets on her knees before him: to have him in such ecstasy that he can hardly make sense of his words. She bites at the fabric so that she can pull it down, his cock springing free so that she can lightly scratch her fingers through the hair at the base. She loves the way he’s peppered with white all over, and she knows he likes her appreciation for it. The fact is, she can’t get enough of his perfectly sculpted body, the spatterings of silver and black making her heart skip a beat each time she thinks about him.

She can tell when she’s about to take it too far based on the way he struggles to keep his hips still, so she slows her movements and releases him with a pop, licking her lips as she looks up at him seductively.

“Do you want me?” she asks in a low, growling whisper that’s only just audible over the sounds of the wind picking up just outside the door.

“If I ever don't immediately say yes to that question, please smother me with a pillow. It means my age has caught up to me.”

“Impossible,” she chastises, standing slowly and removing her own sweater. “You may be old, but I know you’re young at heart.”

He shakes his head at her, moving quickly to scoop her into his arms until her ankles are locked around his waist. “What did we say about respecting your elders?” he growls into her ear, biting at the lobe as he walks them towards the bed.

With a hum, she asks, “are you going to punish me, Captain?” and he tosses her gracefully onto the mattress in response.

“Perhaps I'll simply make you beg.”

“Oh, I'm not above begging. I happen to know you’re quite the catch, so it'll be worth it.”

“Are you making fishing jokes while I’m trying to seduce you?”

The smirk she gives him is telling as he pulls her leggings over her hips and bites into her flesh, making her jump slightly. “Oh! I thought I was supposed to nibble on your rod?”

“Emma,” he laughs breathlessly.

She breathes out a laugh as well as he drags his tongue along her folds, not quite touching her where she needs him. “You really know how to lure me in, what can I say.” He bites the inside of her thigh silently, making her laugh aloud and then stutter as his tongue finds her clit. He keeps it there only momentarily, moving away in favor of peppering soft kisses around her thighs and over her hips. “Stop teasing,” she whines with her eyes squeezed shut, and he can see her smile growing before she says, “or should I say… baiting.”

He growls playfully as he hurries up the length of her body, decidedly punishing her by refusing to put his mouth on her center, although he doesn't think she minds as his lips collide with hers and his fingers plunge into her entrance. “You’re quite funny,” he says against her mouth as he expertly curls his fingers up against the sensitive spot inside her.

“Tha-- thank you,” she says, struggling to get the words out around her gasps and moans. “W-will you-- mmm, Killian.”

“Yes, my love?” he whispers as he sucks a bruise into her neck.

“Fuck me.”

He hums thoughtfully, slowing his fingers and pulling away from her so that he can purse his lips in pensivity. “No, I don’t think I will,” he tells her, his tone serious but the sparkle in his eyes anything but.

“Killian,” she whines, giving him a pout and gasping as he flicks his fingers over her clit.

She’s about to go mad, both with need and with absolute irritation at him, before he places his lips at the shell of her ear, lining his hardened cock up to her entrance, and whispers, “I’d much rather make love to you,” as he thrusts inside.

Emma doesn’t even have time, never mind the wherewithal, to berate him for his jest. She clings her fingertips into the backs of his strong shoulders, weathered by the sun and battered with the exhaustion of his livelihood. Their mouths fuse together tightly, neither of them willing to be any further from the other than they absolutely have to.

She whimpers against his lips as he strokes his fingers against her expertly, touching her exactly as she needs him to. He pulls slightly from her kiss, his mouth hovering over hers, and she knows he’s going to ask if she’s alright without him needing to.

Rather than wait for the question, she says, “I love you,” into the barely open space between them.

Killian doubles down on his efforts, driving into her with passion and love, the likes of which she’s never felt before. He breathes his love for her into every inch of her skin, his movements echoing his words until she gives him one last warning whimper and they fall apart in each other’s arms.

“I love you,” he whispers against her skin. “You mean everything to me.”

She gives him a soft smile, running her fingers soothingly into his hair as he collapses against her chest, his own heaving with each breath. “I certainly got more than I bargained for when I came here.”

“Aye.”

“Before I came,” she whispers, pausing to collect her thoughts. “Before I met you, it was like I was sinking. Like I could barely stay above water and I was one big wave away from capsizing.”

He smirks against her skin, chuffed at her nautical references despite his teasing earlier, and says, “I believe I know what you mean, angel.”

“And then I met you, and it was like I jumped overboard.” Turning his head so that he can look up at her, he raises a brow. “I was clinging to this dinky little boat that was sinking, you know? I was clinging to this idea of how my life couldn’t have gone. But I met you and you showed me that it’s okay when things don’t go the way we hope they will. You helped me see that it’s okay to let go, because…” she shrugs, busying her fingers in his hair. “Well, I guess because there was a life raft waiting for me. You.”

With a deep blush, he shakes his head in disbelief of the woman before him, pressing a kiss to her chest before pressing up onto his elbows and finding her lips with his. “I love you,” he whispers. “You’ve changed my life for the better, you know. I was quite the half-drunken recluse before you came to town.”

“I know,” she whispers with a satisfied smile. “We make quite the pair.”

“That we do.”

They lie in comfortable silence for a few more moments, Killian’s arms wrapped around Emma and his head on her chest as her fingers continue their ministrations through his hair. Eventually and reluctantly, they remember that they’re meant to meet her parents at Granny’s for dinner, and peel themselves off of one another just long enough to make it to the shower. They clean each other, after dirtying themselves once more under the water, and resign themselves to the difficulty they have keeping their hands off of one another.

Once at dinner, they tame themselves as much as they can, but neither of them miss the narrow-eyed looks being shot their way by David and Mary Margaret. Killian can’t help himself, though. She makes him feel alive; like a teenager in love for the first time. At the end of the night, after his confession that he plans to never sail through a storm again if it will ease his love’s worries, David shakes his hand and claps his shoulder wordlessly.

Three months later, after they’ve moved the rest of Emma’s things into his small cottage, she walks into the kitchen and catches him laughing elatedly with her mother before being pulled in for a tight hug. She wants to ask what they’re so excited about, but stops herself to take in the sight of the two of them finally getting along. It means so much more than her mom liking her boyfriend.

Their life together is perfection-- everything they could have hoped for and more-- and he can’t wait to ask her to spend the rest of it by his side.

~~~~

Tagging: @courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx @winterbaby89 @swampmedusa @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy @love-with-you-i-have-everything @shireness-says @snowbellewells @hollyethecurious @ouatpost @daxx04 @the-darkdragonfly @donteattheappleshook @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay @xsajx @itsfridaysomewhere @alexa-fangirl-forever @jonesfandomfanatic @wefoundloveunderthelight @qualitycoffeethings @rapunzelsghosts @spaceconveyor

#cs au #captain swan au #captain swan modern au #Overboard #Cs smut #cs angst #mildly I guess #silver fox Killian #older Killian #cs ff #overboard ff

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It

Criminal Minds x MINDHUNTER AU

Spencer Reid x Margaret Carr (OC)

Part 1: Ed Kemper.

Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

warnings: graphic details of a real rape and murder case, like every trigger in the book, applies to this fic so read with caution (if you watch either show you're used to it, however), it's all real and did actually happen and I don't support any of it. strangers to lovers, mutual pining, flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr's daughter, her bio father is Jason Gideon

word count: 3.9K

He'd be lying if he said he wasn't having fun teaching.

He started with guest speaking, moving to special seminars a few times a year. But he wanted something more, settling for a 7-week criminal justice elective of his choosing.

Intro to Criminal Minds: why they did it. Giving Spencer an excuse to share the most intimate facts about serial offenders in a setting where no one could tell him to shut up.

14 students total signed up for the two-hour Seminar, taking place every Thursday at 11 am from September until Halloween. Over the 7 weeks, he would explain the fascinating insights of the most successful killers in the United States. Only asking that his students write about a prolific crime they find interesting by the end of term, for their full grade.

All he wanted was to read about obscure killers from around the world, from the perspective of aspiring profilers.

The first Thursday, he came prepared with his coffee a half hour before the class. He wanted to write the main points on the whiteboard in advance, nice and neatly.

To his surprise, a student was already there waiting for him. "Oh, hello,” he smiled softly.

She was sitting with a book in her hands, she pushed her glasses up her nose to look at him as he walked in. She was older than his typical student, around 35. Probably finishing up a degree or adding something to what she already had.

"Hi," she smiled at him. “Sorry, I’m early, I was visiting my mom at Quantico earlier.” She explained. "I'm not a teacher's pet or anything. Promise, I’m not even a student.”

It made him laugh slightly, correcting him like she read his mind. "It's okay, I'm Doctor Reid," he introduced himself softly.

“Margaret Carr, Peggy is also fine.”

"Pleasure to meet you," he said quickly before focusing his attention on the whiteboard.

He could feel her eyes on him the whole time he wrote, not wanting to turn around and catch her. "That's so interesting," he heard her mumble under her breath.

"Hmm?" He turned around.

"It's just that, everyday occurrences that never phase the regular person somehow cause psychopaths to kill," she read the board back to him.

"I was reading a study a while back about how psycho killers medulla oblongata is approximately 19% smaller than the average human’s. Based on the way they're nurtured as children affects if they grow up to kill. The ones that don't often end up in law enforcement and other positions of power where their psychopathic tendencies can come to play."

He was taken aback for a moment. He had never experienced a student who was like him before. Someone who just pulled facts into conversations like it was nothing.

"I read that as well," he smiled. "It is fascinating. The smallest amount of bullying and abuse from a mother or disappearance of a father figure can set them off."

"Or, on the other hand, there are people like Ted Bundy," she added. "He was well-loved and taken care of, but it went to his head. His god complex and affinity for lying led him to be incredibly charismatic and enabled his killing."

"You're very educated on this already; are you just interested in hearing me speak today?" He asked, not wanting her to leave, finding it interesting that she was there.

"Oh," she blushed. "I was going to talk to you more about it after the seminar actually."

“Okay, I’ll be waiting for you,” he felt a little giddy at the prospect.

"Thanks," she laughed. "Seriously though, I'm a big fan of your teaching style, I saw a few of your classes when my dad was teaching at the academy in 2005. It's a lot easier to remember facts if the lecturer genuinely loves what they're talking about."

"You're going to like this Seminar then. It’s basically just a way for me to get paid while unloading all the random facts I have,” he warned her with a smile.

"I know." She smiled back at him.

The rest of his students filed in slowly. By 11 am, 14 faces were staring back at him.

"Hello," he waved awkwardly. "I'm dr. Spencer Reid. For the last 12 years, I've worked with the FBI's Behavioural Analysis Unit. Catching serial offenders across the country."

He took a deep breath, letting the nerves find their way out of him. "I've been asked time and time again who my favourite serial killer is, which is a peculiar way to phrase the question. It feels morally wrong to have a favourite in the way people do with baseball players.

"I am, however, fascinated with several serial offenders' reasoning and explanation for why they did what they did. Every single killer is different, but it all comes back to 1 thing. Do you know what that is?"

They all shook their heads. “What is your relationship with your parents like?" He asked.

Everyone in the room reacted; some students sighed, some rolled their eyes as they recalled their parents and childhoods to memory.

"When a person decides to kill, it's often never in the moment. It's in childhood. The majority of serial offender's stories start the same; their mother didn't love them, their father left. Someone at home abused them or put them down repeatedly."

"Thus, causing a hatred so primal to bubble. No matter how hard they try and fight it, the bubble always bursts. They go from fantasizing to killing in retaliation for their abuse, taking the anger out in stages."

He referred to the board. "Every killer has a stressor and a trigger—something that causes the urge to bubble and the event that causes the bubble to rupture.”

"Edmund Kemper is a fascinating example of this. He grew up with a family for the first few years of his life before his father fully abandoned them. His mother handled the situation by turning her anger onto her son; it was his fault his father left, he looked just like him, Ed was just another useless man who would never amount to anything," he emphasized the words. Hoping the class sees the effects words have on children.

"He started by cutting up dolls, stealing his sister's barbies and cutting their heads off. In his mind, he was getting out his anger and hatred for how his mother saw him. She hated men, causing him to mature with a warped idea of what women are truly like."

"His attraction to killing worsened his mother's hatred; she could tell something was wrong with him, that he didn't react to everyday situations the way he should. By the time he was ten, she was locking him in the basement for days on end, telling him he was a monster and her biggest regret."

"The change in her rage amplified his own. He hated hearing her speak. He hated the way she walked around, thinking she was better than him. That just because she was a mother and a working woman, she deserved respect and submissive’s. All he could see was a woman with a big head who needed to be humbled. This is the moment when the psychotic side of his brain blended his hatred of his mother with how good it felt to kill."

"Is that why he, you know?" Peggy cut in, running her finger along her neck as she pretended to cut her head off.

He pressed his lips together in an awkward smile, nodding. "His signature, as it's called, was decapitation. But more specifically necrophiling the severed head of his victims."

The whole class let out a disgusted noise, Peggy and Spencer making eye contact while they shrugged, it wasn't news to them.

"At age ten, he moved from barbies to cats and dogs, never leaving them around for his mother to see. While he hated her, he was also absolutely terrified of her. Breading a special type of killer. When you think of school shooters or preferential predators, what do they have in common?" He asked.

He pointed at a student in the back. "They have a specific type of victim they’re after?"

"Exactly. Most serial offenders want to go after the cause of their pain or attraction. However, Ed wasn't able to kill the source of his rage for a long time. His mother mentally abused him so intensely that he believed she was in control of him and that her opinion of him mattered. He saw her as his God, he loved her, but he also knew that he disappointed her.

"He ran away soon after to find his father. Travelling to California, only to be told he was unwanted there as well. It wasn't just his mother that his father was escaping; it was the fundamental aspect of family that he didn't want. Ed defiantly didn't want to go back to his mother after that, so he moved in with his paternal grandparents."

He kept catching the looks on Peggy's face. She knew the story already, waiting patiently to hear the words he chose to make the horrific acts seem a little more conversational.

"His grandmother was exactly like his mother. If I had to guess, his father most likely had a distaste for his own mother and thus divorced Ed's mom. Only he never grew up to be a killer, just an absent father—his absence doing to Ed what never happened to him."

"Ed killed his grandparents when he was 15. Telling the police and his therapists that they had beaten him constantly, they refused to feed him and called him names. He said he snapped from the trauma; it was self-defence."

Peggy laughed to herself, making him smile softly. "Sending him to a mental hospital instead of a juvenile facility was the worst thing they could've done for him," Spencer added.

"Why?" A student asked.

"Ed is a psychopath." He reminded them. "He doesn't feel empathy the way we do. You can admit that you feel bad for him, yes? If you understand why he killed people, it doesn't make you sick, like him, it makes you human. You see a hurt person hurting others; Ed Kemper sees himself as a new sort of God, choosing who dies, how and when."

"He was brilliant, having the exact IQ as I do," just a humblebrag, "the staff trusted him. He looked like an innocent boy, smart enough to take matters into his own hands for the betterment of his life. They gave him computer privileges, they let him work the front desk and file patient information. Giving him all the resources to learn about who he was inside and how to get away with it perfectly."

"Damn," another kid added. "When did he get out?"

"At 21.” He answered the student quickly. “Ed was interviewed by my mentor Jason Gideon, in the 70s. Where he explained that being locked up during his sexual prime, as well as the access to information, is what truly set him off more than his mother.

"He moved back in with her and his sister when he came out of the institution, immediately returning to the constant ridicule. He went from being told all the time that he was a smart and charming young man, capable of rehabilitation to a useless, no-good son, who would have been better off collecting in a condom or running down her leg."

The whole class laughed, shocked at his repetition of Ed's mother's words.

"He got his licence when he was released. And remember, this was prime time for hitchhiking in California; everyone and their mother walked the roads with a thumb in the air. It was the birth of free love and recreational marijuana usage. It was also the best hunting ground for a learning serial killer."

"He was able to pick women up, but like I said, missing his sexual prime while in an institution made him almost impotent. He didn't know how to speak to women; he had to create a fantasy in his mind every time, one that involved killing, before he could look at a woman."

"How did he get them in his car then?" A voice asked from the back.

"He was 6'9, 300lbs; he looked like a big teddy bear. And his mother was the local college administrative assistant, so the whole town knew him anyway. If Ed offered to give them a ride, it wouldn't be that bad, right?" Peggy turned around to face the class as she explained for Spencer, who just shook his head.

"He only wanted to rape the victims, originally," Spencer added. "But he couldn't. There was no release of the tension. The bubble that had been growing inside him was at its breaking point; he needed to just do it. Get it over with and move on."

"He killed 6 women in succession after that. Gaining the name "The Co-Ed Killer," well before anyone even suspected Ed Kemper," Spencer took a sip of coffee, feeling his throat start to dry as they reached the insane part.

"He was overly friendly with the cops; he wanted to get his record expunged and join the force.” Spencer finally continued. “Being told, "don't worry about your record, worry about your weight.""

"Most killers enjoy wearing a uniform for the power and talking to the police about their cases, in the hopes of gauging how smart they really are—taking pride in the fact that they are getting away with it for so long."

"He watched all the cop shows, and he read all the books. He knew that in order to get away with it, he had to do it where no one could trace it back to him. He knew he had to keep his cool and avoid looking obsessed with the case, but just curious enough to gain insight into how they thought he was doing it. It went on for years, and they had absolutely zero leads, finding headless bodies every few months before they finally received a call." He left them hanging, walking over to his sheet of paper and pretending to read it while they anticipated the catch.

"Ed always knew that he wanted to kill his mother. He just never knew when,” Spencer teased the story along. Noticing as the students fidgeted in their seats as they wondered what happened next.

“In his interview with Gideon, Ed said that he knew she would die 7 days before he killed her. He walked into her room that night to find her reading, with the audacity to ask if he wanted to come in and chat all night. Teasing him for the way he rambled to her. It was the last time she ever did that."

"It's hard to imagine his signature with the fact his second last victim was his mother," Peggy added, cringing at the thought.

"Wait," another student interjected. "Who was his last kill then if he only really wanted to kill her?"

"Remember how I said he lacked empathy?" Spencer asked. "He loved his mother in the same way a prisoner can end up loving their captor."

Peggy nods at the comparison, looking like she's never thought of it that way before, then smiling at him.

"You grow a bond through the trauma and when the only thing you've ever known is violence and hate, you don't know what to do when that's gone, it's hard to cope."

"He said he killed his mother so that she never had to know what he did. She'd never have to sit at his court hearings or be able to tell the media that she always knew he was a killer."

"His last kill was his mother's best friend," He finally answered the question.

"He didn't want his mother to be even more disappointed in him, but he also didn't want his mother's best friend to find her like that and be upset. So the obvious answer to him was to kill her too."

"What the fuck?" He heard a couple of kids say under their breath.

"Yeah," he agreed with an almost chuckle. "This is what I mean by their answers are fascinating. It makes so much sense to them; clearly, if I kill my mother, her friend will be upset, so the best answer would be to put her out of her misery as well. He sees them as objects, like a matching set. One would lose value without the other."

Everyone was silent then. The students took in all the information they had just received, staring up at him with a look of disgust mixed with wonder.

"Any questions?"

Peggy raised her hand for a change; he pointed towards her in approval. "You missed the part where he specifically took the heads from the three women before his mother and brought them back home with him. He buried them in the yard outside her bedroom window, making sure they were always looking up to her."

Spencer was amazed that she knew the details. "Yes, I guess I did."

"I always found that part particularly interesting in this case," Peggy added. "Her opinion mattered so much to him. He knew how much she loved her co-ed's and how they looked up to her so much. They'd be exactly like her. He felt trapped in a town of women who were exactly like his nightmare, and his response was to make them physically look up to her for the rest of her life."

"Exactly." Spencer smiled. "understanding how he sees the situation and how the events played out in his mind is the key in figuring out who he is."

"If you were on the case in '72 when the first victims were discovered, how would you have handled it, Dr. Reid?" A male student in the back asked in the silence between answers, taking his shot before Peggy and Spencer went any further in their discussion.

“That's a hard thing to answer, connecting evidence back then was a lot harder than it is today, if it wasn’t for men like Ed there wouldn’t really be this many answers,” Spencer said honestly.

Another student put her hand up, “what’s the worst thing he did in your opinion?”

That racked his brain, there was a handful of horrific things he did that were particularly horrific, “probably his mother's entire murder.”

“What did he do?”

Before Spencer could answer he saw Peggy open her mouth and start explaining. “He not only cut off her head and fucked her neck, but he also took her vocal cords out and shoved them down the garbage disposal. And before he called the cops, he cleaned everything up and made her look presentable because he said his mother wouldn’t want guests to see the mess.”

The class all cringed, sinking into their seats with disgust. But that didn’t stop Peggy from explaining it all further.

“He used to go to a bar all the cops went to and he would talk about his case. They would always one-up themselves and say they were close which gave him this false idea that they were on his tail and they’d find his mother soon. But when they didn’t, he called it in from a payphone and said he’d come over and explain it all. And boy did he ever, the cops said he wouldn’t shut up. And then when they put him in the cop car finally, a woman walked past him and he threw up.”

Spencer watched her with awe, the way she could call information to memory like that was beautiful. He listened to her like he’s never heard a fact before, she was so intriguing.

“Thank you for the detail,” he teased her lightly. “Sometimes I get so caught up that the really gross parts get swept aside.”

The class smiled at him, he had gained their trust and attention within only 1 hour of class.

“I know you said you don’t have a favourite,” another student asked from the back. “I agree it’s weird, but who is the one you gravitate towards the most?”

“I’ve met hundreds of serial killers, I’ve read about thousands,” he explained. “I think Ed Kemper is the one I gravitate the most around because he was so willing and open to explaining why he is the way he is. Going as far as to say that the only way they could keep women safe is to give him a lobotomy. He didn’t believe there was any correcting to be done, only removal of the evil within him.”

He heard slight mumbles as everyone took in what he said. “Does anyone here have a killer or a case that interested them in learning more, or just introduced you to the chase of justice?”

Peggy put her hand up, “I personally think BTK is the scariest, most tactical, and just downright evil man to ever exist. He scares me to no end but he’s so interesting to learn about.”

“Ahh,” Spencer agreed. “Too bad you won't be here for week 3. But with that I think I’ll end the class, next week we’ll be discussing the difference between Ted Bundy and Richard Speck.” He nodded lightly, watching the majority of them close their books and had on out.

“I really enjoyed the class,” she said softly. Holding her purse in one hand, a collection of files in the other.

Spencer turned to look at her then, smiling right back. “It was a pleasure to teach alongside you.”

“What do you mean?” She teased, “it’s not like my mom and dad were the ones who did all the interviews."

“Carr,” he repeats her last name. The gears turning in his mind as he brings all the information forth.

“Your mother is Wendy Carr, she was recruited after the BTK case with Bill Tench, she’s who was behind that study you mentioned.”

“I know,” she smiled.

“Who’s your father?”

“Guess,” she looked at him with an unimpressed look on her face, pushing her glasses up slightly.

“You’re kidding? Gideon never said he had a daughter let alone a,” he stops himself before he can embarrass himself any further.

She smiled at the implication of his words, “but he’s told me all about you Dr. Reid, that’s why I'm here.”

“You need help with a case and I’m the only agent in Virginia currently,” he pressed his lips together awkwardly. Knowing it was too good to be true that she would have any interest in him in the slightest.

“No actually, I have a case I’ve been working on privately and I need some help. I asked my dad but he said you’d be able to help me the best. I agree,” she corrected him softly. “I wasn’t kidding when I said I was a big fan of yours. When I would sit in and watch his lectures, before he knew I was his kid, you would always step in at the best parts, adding the smallest details to the story that the average person would forget. It’s magnificent.”

He laughed slightly, tugging at his collar as she complimented him. “Thank you, you’re quite magnificent as well,” he replied with a blush and a smile

She didn’t look like Gideon, probably because she smiled so much. Like sunshine on legs, she beamed, all but blinding him with her smile as she stared at him, “do you want to get lunch and go over this case with me?”

“I’d love to.”

taglist: (message me if you want to be added or removed)

@shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @spookyspence @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #intro to cm #mindhunter #wendy carr #peggy carr

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

Text

if this was a dream pt. 3

i want to apologize in advance because this is literally like 4 chapters in a trench coat... i'm serious chapter 1 was just over 1000 words and this is over 4000, I have no idea what happened. the reason I didn't break it up is because it is very alastair-centric. I promise next chapter we will get back to thomas and see how he's doing with the actual amnesia part of it all.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Fanfiction Masterlist | AO3

Alastair pulled his coat tightly around himself, trying to keep his breathing steady. The walk from the Institute to Cornwall Gardens was long, but it would give him far more time to clear his head than borrowing a carriage or hailing a hansom cab. He fell into the rhythm of his footsteps; this was familiar to him. He had spent more hours than he could count just walking and walking, trying to run from this life the universe had given him.

Now, though, even his walking was infected by Thomas.

Sometimes, I simply needed to get away from all of the hovering. There was this bit of forest near our house in Idris… it was nice, peaceful. The perfect escape, somewhere to wander until I was too spent to continue. Drove my parents a bit mad, but it was what I needed.

Alastair told him about the woods around Cirenworth, how it was his escape, too. He’d memorized nearly every corner of that forest over the years. It was somewhere where he could pretend to be someone, anyone else. He could be no one, even. He’d left most of the details out, as he often did when discussing his childhood. He trusted Thomas completely, but there were some things he preferred to leave in the past.

Now, his sleepless body ached against the increasing pace of his footsteps, pushing forward as if moving quickly enough could outrun the tears burning behind his eyes. He did not know if he could do this again. If Thomas never regained his memories, could Alastair convince him to forgive him again? Their original circumstances were quite peculiar. Could Alastair survive trying to gain his forgiveness again?

He’d do anything for Thomas, he knew. He loved him, even if he’d never said it out loud. And as he said it now, even in the safety of his own mind, it felt far different than it ever did with Charles on the receiving end. With Charles, love felt strangling. It was shackles to his ankles and wrists, tying him to his misery. Looking back, it was not love at all. With Thomas, he felt free. Thomas made the impossible feel possible.

It isn’t possible. It won’t ever be.

He heard his own words repeated back to him. He knew where this was headed from the start. This is how it all works out for Alastair Carstairs. He knew this time would be no different, even if he hoped it would.

He loathed this feeling inside of him. He’d been doing well. He’d been happy. Now all he could think of were his own self-doubts, his own self-hatred, his age-old desire to run away to the farthest stretches of the Earth in the middle of the night, never to return.

A better partner, a better person would not be so consumed in these thoughts as he was. A better partner would not be the recipient of such hatred from the man he loved at all, memories or not. A better partner would know what to do, how to ease the pain and anxiety that flooded Thomas’ eyes rather than exacerbate them. He was not better, however. He could never be what Thomas deserved. He knew it from the start, but it felt different, being thrown in his face now.

Perhaps it would be better this way, he thought, for it to end like this. It was going to end eventually, as all things do. Perhaps this way would hurt Thomas less, even if Alastair would always wonder what could have happened if he’d tried a little harder, if he’d been a little less horrible, if he’d been a little bit stronger, a bit braver.

He was being ridiculous, he knew. Thomas merely needed time. He’d just woken up from his injury, six months displaced, no less. He was grieving his sister again, even more than before. Alastair wanted to ease Thomas’ pain, but he could not, and thus, Thomas needed time and space and he would give it to him.

Before he realized it, he had returned to his home. He could not remember most of the walk, his feet guiding him through the city he now knew a bit too well as his mind wandered to a place he couldn’t quite reach with his consciousness.

He slowly unlocked the door and sighed as he hung his coat. Cordelia started quickly down the stairs but froze as her expression fell when she saw the look on his face.

Realizing what she must be thinking, Alastair quickly shook his head. “He’s alright. He woke up. He simply… appears to be missing about the past six months of memory.”

Cordelia frowned, her face softening as she continued down the stairs and embraced her brother. “Oh, dâdash. Are you alright?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? Thomas is alive and awake. He just hates me.”

She sighed. “He doesn’t hate you. I don’t think he ever truly did.”

He shook his head. “He thinks he does. Or he wants to. What’s it matter?”

“Take a seat, dâdash. We just made tea, I’ll bring some out.” Before he could protest, she left for the kitchen.

He settled into one of the armchairs. When Cordelia returned, she took the one beside his and began to pour tea for each of them. “You two will work your way through this, you know. Whatever happens.”

“How can you be so sure?”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you joking? I don’t think I’ve ever met two people better matched. It’s as if you share the same soul or something.”

He gritted his teeth. “Most would say we’re opposites.”

“You act like opposites. Believe it or not, though, behaving grumpy or cheerful are not personality traits. In all the ways that matter, you’re two halves of one whole. It makes me utterly green with envy sometimes, seeing the two of you together, the way that you understand each other so completely.

“I love James, of course, with my whole being. But if I’m being honest, for a long time I thought that the reason I liked him was because he reminded me of Father, all introverted and bookish and such. Now, I’m merely trying to decipher what was real and what was not, what parts of me are genuine and which ones are simply who I thought I needed to be to please him. James, too, is finding himself again after all that happened with Grace. Sometimes, it feels as though we’re two clueless children stumbling around with no sense of self, for some reason placed in this big house with adult responsibilities. It’s an utter mess sometimes, though every moment is worth it.

“Yet you… somehow, despite everything, despite all of the odds stacked against you, despite so much pain and fear, you found yourself and your soulmate all in one person. It’s what you deserve, dâdash, what you both deserve. You will find a way.”

He did not quite believe her, but he would not argue.

“Are you going to be alright?” she asked, cocking her head.

He nodded and then paused for a moment. “I don’t know how I’ll explain this to Mâmân.” Despite all the trouble it’s caused, she still did not know the truth about his time in school.

“I could, if you’d like?” Cordelia offered.

He sighed. He wanted to say yes. He wanted to keep the entire matter out of his own hands. He shook his head. “It’s time I did, I think.”

She gave him a bit of a frown but nodded. “If you’re sure.”

“I’m tired of lying. I spent enough time keeping secrets when Father was alive.” He stood from the chair.

“I’m here if you need me.”

He started up the staircase, mustering up a more positive expression as to not worry his mother too much before he could get the words out. He found her in her bedroom, resting in an armchair a few feet away from Rostam’s bassinet. He approached his baby brother first, giving him a small smile though he was fast asleep. It could have been his mind playing tricks on him, but he was certain Rostam was bigger than he’d been just a few days ago.

“He just fell asleep,” his mother said softly. He turned to her. Her eyes looked tired, though no more tired than they had a few days earlier, and certainly no more tired than his own. “Come, azizam, what are you doing home? Did something happen?”

Alastair shook his head. “Thomas is awake; he’s alright.”

“Why aren’t you with him?” she asked after a small stretch of silence.

“He… He has amnesia. He doesn’t remember anything past last summer. It’s best if I keep my distance for a bit.”

His mother gave him a small smile. “It’ll be okay, Alastair joon. He’ll understand given a bit of time.”

Alastair didn’t look at her. “Maybe. I don’t know. He… he’s quite angry with me. The original circumstances under which he forgave me were fairly bizarre to begin with.”

“Forgive you for what, dear? What could possibly be so terrible that he would not forgive you?”

He sighed. He knew he could not avoid this conversation any longer. “I… It was something that happened at school.” He paused for a moment. “I know you think that I got on well with everyone at the Academy, but… That isn’t the truth. When I first arrived, all of the other boys could tell that I was an easy target. I was smaller than them, and… there were rumors. After a while, I just couldn’t bear it any longer. I… I was always quite good with words, as you know. I learned that using them to cut down others would get me a good laugh, and as long as the other boys were laughing they weren’t…” He trailed off. How was he meant to tell his mother this? “It took the attention off of me.”

“By the time James and Thomas and their friends arrived the next year, I was so angry, at everyone and everything… I was so jealous of them. They had…” Picture perfect families, he wanted to say, though he could not. “They had these perfect lives, or at least they appeared that way to me. They never had to worry about attracting the wrong attention on the street or being humiliated because their families couldn’t afford to hire private tutors. They never had to worry about anything but growing up.”

“Alastair…” his mother started. “I know we never discussed things of this nature. It’s alright that you were angry. They benefited from society in ways that rejected you merely by circumstances of birth. But that wasn’t their fault.”

“I know. I know that now, now that I’m older. I know that my anger was misplaced. But when I was in school, society was too big. I only saw what was in front of me. I thought that if I must be cruel to someone, it should be to them. I said terrible, dreadful things about them and their families, things that should never be repeated. They did nothing to deserve the way I treated them. Thomas was kind to me, one of the only people who was ever kind to me in my two years there, and yet I still slandered his family. Last summer, he learned of the things I had said when he was not listening. That is what he remembers now.”

There was a long stretch of silence. Alastair would not look his mother in the eyes. “I always knew that you had a hard time at school, Alastair,” she said finally. “Your lies were never too convincing. I could see how you’d changed. I… I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

He knew it, too. He knew how his parents had spoken about him in those years, lamenting about what a miserable and difficult teenager he’d grown into when he and his sister were not in the room. He also knew how his father only ever seemed to care about Alastair’s destructive behavior when his mother began to pester him about his drinking.

“It’s not your fault.”

“The world was cruel to you, and I could not protect you from it, but I should have tried. You were a child, my child, I am your mother, and I was meant to protect you, but I did not. Not just from the world, but from… your father, I know. Be kind to yourself, azizam. Regardless of what cruel things you did while trying to balance the weight of the world on small shoulders, it seems to me that those you hurt have forgiven you. You simply have not forgiven yourself.”

“Perhaps they shouldn’t have. Perhaps I never deserved their forgiveness in the first place.”

Sona sighed. “Forgiveness is not deserved, Alastair. We forgive for our own wellbeing, so that we can let go and move on. If you will not fight for Thomas on your own behalf, fight on his. He deserves to forgive you, to heal from these wounds of the past. He deserves to be loved by you.”

Alastair didn’t respond.

“It pains me to see you like this. You deserve to forgive, too. You deserve to forgive yourself and all who have caused you pain. You deserve to be free of it. As long as you keep such a tight grip on it all, you will only continue to destroy yourself, and as long as you continue to destroy yourself, you will hurt those who love you as well. Please-” she cut herself off, her voice breaking. Her voice trembled as she began again, and he realized for a striking moment that he had never seen her this vulnerable before. He’d witnessed her pain after Elias’ death, and he’d caught glimpses of her sorrow before it, but she’d always kept her truest self tightly locked. “Please, my love, promise me that you’ll try. You can start with me.”

He looked up at her abruptly, startled. He opened his mouth to protest, but before he could find the words, she’d stood and crossed the few feet between them.

She took his hands in hers. Seeing the pain in her eyes, he wanted desperately to look away but he could not. “Please, forgive me. Forgive me for all of the ways that I’ve failed you. You were too young for the burdens I placed upon you. I never should have allowed you to take on that responsibility. Please, forgive me for all of the times I overlooked your pain because I was distracted by my own. I am so sorry, Alastair, for each and every time I hurt you and dismissed you. I did the best with what I had, but if I could go back in time and teach myself to be a little stronger, a little braver, to be a better mother than I was, I would do it in a heartbeat, but I can’t. All I can do is promise to try to be a better mother, not just to your brother, but to you as well. If it’s not too late.” Careful tears streamed down her cheeks, rare as they were.

He shook his head, feeling his own tears spill. He fell into her embrace, holding her tightly, as he had not done since he was a small child. “I forgive you,” he said softly, and he meant it.

They stood for a long while, holding each other, taking comfort in each other and the silence. Until Rostam began to cry. They pulled away from each other awkwardly.

“I should… get some rest,” Alastair said, trying to pull himself together. He realized suddenly that he had no idea what time it was or when he’d last slept or eaten.

Sona nodded. “Of course. I love you, Alastair. I’m so proud of the man you’ve become. I’m sorry that you and Thomas are struggling right now, but I know that you two are strong and resilient. With a bit of time and healing, this will pass.”

He nodded, unable to respond without breaking down again.

He returned to his bedroom to the sound of his mother soothing his newborn brother. Shutting his door behind him, he felt the exhaustion of the past several days settled deep into his bones. With heavy movements, he changed into clean clothes, leaving the old ones in a heap on the floor. Typically, he would be horrified at the thought of anything in his room so out of place, but he could not find the energy within himself to care.

He collapsed into his bed, drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep, repeating his mothers words back to himself in his mind. If only forgiving himself would come as easily as forgiving her.

* * *

The next two days passed as a blur. He’d slept heavily the first night. Cordelia had reportedly attempted to wake him for dinner, but settled on bringing a bit of food to his bedroom instead.

The next day passed a bit more normally, though Alastair still felt quite scattered. He’d appeared well-enough put together, however, for Cordelia to feel comfortable going home, so he supposed that was a good sign. Kamala had come for a visit, too, though he wasn’t much in the mood for talking, and they wound up just giving Rostam a bath and discussing Kamala’s latest read.

The day after that had slowly begun to feel more normal, more balanced. Until Gideon Lightwood arrived at his door.

Alastair stared at him for a moment before regaining his composure. He began to call him Mr. Lightwood before stopping himself. It still felt a bit odd to call him by his given name. “Gideon, hello. What are you doing here? Did something happen?”

“No, no,” he said quickly. “Everything’s fine. Thomas is doing well; he’s feeling much better, though no significant improvements to his memory.”

Alastair nodded. “That’s good. That he’s feeling better, I mean.”

“I came here to check on you, actually.”

“Oh.” He paused. “You didn’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to. Well, we all did, Sophie, Eugenia, and I, but I was the most persuasive.” He smiled as he spoke, as if smug at the accomplishment of being delegated the one to come visit him.

“Right, er, come in,” he gestured for Gideon to enter and take a seat in the sitting room. “You’re in luck; my mother just made tea if you’d like some.”

He nodded. “That sounds wonderful. Thank you.”

Alastair returned a few moments later and began pouring tea. “It was very kind of you to come, but I’m truly alright. Just worried about Thomas is all.”

Gideon nodded. “Of course. As I said, he’s doing well, or as well as can be expected under the circumstances. I know it is difficult for him, feeling so disconnected. Regardless of the brave face he puts on. It’s frustrating for him, as if we’ve all got some sort of inside joke that he isn’t in on.”

He could imagine it: the quick glances, the brief answers to Thomas’ many questions. He was certain it was driving him mad. “I wish there was something I could do to help.”

Gideon gave him a small smile. “Because he’s feeling better, his friends are coming by today to attempt to fill him in on the time that he’s missing. I’m certain there will be gaps, though. Perhaps afterwards he will be more open to speaking with you.”

Alastair didn’t know how to tell him that he wasn’t so sure Thomas’ friends would be singing his praises.

“You should stop by the Institute tomorrow if you’re free,” Gideon offered.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

“It’s up to Thomas, of course, if he would like to see you, but if nothing else I know that Sophie and Eugenia would love for you to come by.”

Alastair didn’t respond for a long moment. He’d spent these past couple of days mainly sleeping and caring for his brother, but also ruminating over his conversation with his mother. He began to make a mental list, both of the things he felt he had not forgiven himself for and the things he had not forgiven others for. Before he knew it, the list was distressingly lengthy. He had no idea where to even begin. Perhaps if he could put this one mistake behind him, whatever that meant, the rest would seem less overwhelming.

He knew that he would never forgive himself for how he hurt Thomas’ family as long as the terrible things he’d done went unspoken. Perhaps that was why he never brought it up. “Did Thomas ever tell you why he was angry with me?”

Gideon narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “Something that happened back at school, wasn’t it?”

Alastair nodded. He memorized the way Gideon looked at him now, prepared to only be looked upon with hatred in a few moments. He exhaled and looked down, too cowardly to watch the expression change. “I said things… horrible things about your family. About your wife and about Thomas and about Henry Fairchild, but mainly about you, the Consul, and Matthew. There were rumours going around that he was your child, and I repeated them to him. I repeated them after, too. I have reasons for the way I behaved at school, but I have no reasons for that. I was simply angry. Matthew and I were both terrible to each other, and I was so angry for so many reasons. I did not think of the consequences of my words. I am so, so sorry. I am so sorry for the role I played in causing your family such pain.”

“It’s okay,” Gideon replied gently. Alastair looked up in surprise to see not a hint of the hatred he was expecting. Seeing the confused look on his face, he continued. “Obviously, I’m not happy that you said cruel things about my loved ones, but it was a long time ago, and I would be a hypocrite to not recognize a man who regrets his mistakes and has learned from them. You make my son happy, Alastair. That more than makes up for anything you might’ve said when you were younger, in my eyes.” He flashed him a smile and gave an exaggerated sigh. “Here I was, worried that you’d killed someone or something.”

“Well, I’ve also done that, but it’s not what Thomas is angry about.”

Gideon stared at him, clearly unsure over whether or not he was serious.

“Joking,” he said quickly. “...kind of.”

He looked back at him hesitantly. “Do you… want to talk about it?”

“Ha, no. Not today.” His guilt surrounding the deaths of Clive Cartwright and his father would need to be addressed another time.

“Right,” Gideon responded. “Thank you for telling me this, Alastair. I appreciate your honesty. I only have one question, why did you not say anything about this before? It was clearly bothering you. Did you fear we would reject you?”

“I…” That seemed like the logical answer, wasn’t it? Yet he knew it was not the correct one. “I think that perhaps it was the opposite. I was just so ashamed… and I knew that as long as I held on to that, I would never allow myself to truly get too close. I know how horrible that sounds, and I know it hurt Thomas, too, but for some reason that,” he gestured vaguely with his hands, “was scarier than anything else. I’m sorry, I know that doesn’t make sense-”

“It does. I understand, Alastair, even if I don’t like that you felt you had to do that. I know the past couple of months have been complicated for you, though in many ways less complicated than the years before. It will always be your choice, but know that there will always be a place for you in my life, whether you and Thomas are together or not. But I will not ever blame you for anything you feel you are not able to do.”

Alastair nodded, feeling a soreness at the back of this throat that indicated impending tears.

“You should stop by tomorrow and visit us. It’s up to you, but I think that it would be helpful for you to speak with Sophie, too. I will not repeat anything to her, lest you decide not to. I do think it would be somewhat of a relief, though. We thought that the reason you were so distant was because you disliked us.”

“What?” He silently cursed the pain in his voice.

“Joking,” Gideon teased with a chuckle. “Kind of.”

Alastair exhaled, feeling a bit of the tension release, and gave him half of an eye roll.

“Please, tell me honestly, Alastair, are you doing alright?”

He nodded in response, finally feeling it to be true.

“I shall take my leave then. The tea was truly lovely, by the way. You must pass my thanks unto your mother.”

“I will.”

“See you tomorrow, then?”

“Tomorrow,” Alastair responded before he could stop himself. He stood to see him out, but was surprised when Gideon met him with a hug goodbye.

“Thank you for chatting with me.”

“Thank you for… checking in.”

Gideon smiled at him and donned his coat and hat. Alastair watched him as he departed, feeling more at peace now than he had in quite a while.

thanks so much for reading! taglist (reply, ask, or message to be added/removed): @stxr-thxif @satanisanauthor @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @kamalajcshi @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid

#if this was a dream fic #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #tlh #the last hours #fanfiction #fanfic #chain of iron spoilers #chain of iron #coi spoilers #coi

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inkweaver22-blr · 3 years

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Four for four baby! This is perhaps the last of my daily updates as I’ll be busy the next few days. Here’s another little filler chapter but it’s a good one as it’s the first one where we directly see references to other creators’ Monkie Kid works! There’s three references here, two subtle and one explicit. I’ll make sure to have links to each work in the notes at the end of the chapter. Hope you enjoy!

AO3 Link

Scattered Cicadas - Chapter Four: Childish Behavior

Tang often feels like the only adult surrounded by children. Literally sometimes.

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If there was one thing Tang had learned about these timelines he kept jumping between was that they were consistently inconsistent.

The minor details that changed randomly but never really affected the outcome of the events from his original time were still abundant and rarely phased him much anymore.

(Although that one time he had platinum blonde hair had been interesting.)

It was when entirely unique situations arose that the scholar was caught off guard.

New events sprung up every now and then and inserted themselves between the original ones. As with the smaller changes, these new scenarios were unpredictable and varied wildly in scope.

A surprisingly durable MK clone that somehow managed to escape being dispelled, gaining independence, and becoming Macaque’s apprentice.

An ocean demon sinking ships just outside the bay and Sandy getting to go on that water adventure he wanted.

MK’s birth parents trying to reinsert themselves back into his life after seeing his achievements on the news.

(Tang was so incredibly proud of his kid for standing up for himself and refusing their empty platitudes. The pranks that he, Mei, and the Monkey King had pulled on them in retaliation were great stress relievers.)

Since Tang could still do his best to help out in each new event without horrible consequences, it seemed the rule of “No Interference” did not apply to them. He supposed that made sense as he had no way to predict when or if they might occur and thus couldn’t change an outcome he didn’t know about.

He was grateful for that small mercy at least.

Still, with how these cycles seemed to be endless so far, a few of these events would happen over multiple timelines.

Getting de-aged by a mischievous trickster demon or spirit was a strangely common occurrence.

MK seemed to be the most popular target for this particular curse. The brightness of his personality seemed to shine even stronger whenever he was reverted into a child, which simply made Tang love the kid even more.

(He wished he could have helped the Monkey King tear Macaque apart for kidnapping their precious little one in that cycle.)

They all had their own turns of having their biological clocks reversed of course. Mei was a little trouble maker, Pigsy was a shy and timid toddler, and Sandy liked to have things he could break apart. Tang couldn’t clearly remember the times he had been de-aged but was pleased when an exhausted Mei and Mk had said he was the easiest of the adults-turned-kids to take care of.

Then there was the Monkey King.

Having to corral a rambunctious young monkey with the strength to crush boulders and the ability to duplicate or shapeshift was not easy.

(He still had no idea how MK had managed to do it alone once.)

With the amount of times they had all been subjected to this specific curse, Tang only really had himself to blame for not seeing it coming.

Tang poured over the scroll in front of him, trying to find the counter for this timeline’s version of the curse. Behind him, Mei distracted a de-aged Red Son, or Red Boy as that’s what the small fire demon was calling himself.

Getting kidnapped by a somewhat feral child with the ability to freely toss around the True Fire of Samadhi hadn’t been the most pleasant start to his day. While being mistaken as the monk Tang Sanzang was a little flattering, the threat of being roasted over the sacred blume flames and eaten had quickly dampened those feelings.

Luckily the young demon had fallen asleep, the fires dissipating as he lost consciousness. If only Tang knew how to cast the Monkey King’s fire ward...

“Ahem.”

Tang glanced up and paled at the sight of a displeased looking Demon Bull King.

“Little thief,” the demon addressed an equally freaked-out MK. “I believe you have something of mine.”

“Father! You’re here,” Red Boy called out as he jumped from Mei’s arms. “I have wonderful news! I’ve found a husband!” He quickly ran over to a petrified MK and leaned against him like he was presenting some great treasure. “Look! Look! Isn’t he pretty?”

Tang had almost forgotten about that particular detail. If they got out of this alive he was never going to let MK live this down for the rest of the cycle. Prerogative of being a dad and all.

“What do you think father,” Red Boy continued, ignoring MK’s desperate plea for him to stop. “I can marry him, right?”

DBK’s expression was frankly unimpressed as he stared down into the hopeful one Red Boy wore. Tang had a bad feeling about what was going to happen and slowly made his way around the room to hide behind MK and Mei who were also backing away.

“No.”

Tang winced a bit at the bluntness of the answer and braced himself for the explosion that was sure to follow.

“What? But… why? WHY NOT?!”

The genuine hurt and confusion in the young demon’s voice would have made Tang feel a bit sympathetic, if Red Boy hadn’t tried to eat him of course.

“Because I said so,” DBK growled as he knelt to be closer to his de-aged son. “Now, enough of this. Time to stop being a child.”

Tang frowned. That was... not how to calmly explain to one’s child about why you were refusing their request. Not if you wanted to avoid a full-on meltdown. He should know, having to take care of a young MK multiple times.

Looking into the Demon Bull King’s scowling visage, he wasn’t sure if the older demon simply didn’t know how, or just didn’t care.

“That’s… NOT FAIR!” Red Boy’s disbelief predictably turned into anger as his hair once again burst into blue flames.

“THAT’S NOT FAIR! I am not a child!” The True Fire of Samadhi burst out around the boy, seeming to startle DBK who took a step back. Tang was just thankful that it wasn’t aimed at him this time.

“I… I’m not-” Red Boy’s anger quickly melted away, as did the fire around him. The young demon sniffed a few times before dropping onto the ground and beginning to cry.

Loudly.

“You’re recording this, right?” MK whispered to Mei.

“Obviously.”

Tang sighed at their antics and looked over at DBK. The demon still looked angry but the scholar could see the uncertainty in his eyes. He seemed completely out of his depth and unsure on what to do.

Tang took a steadying breath before mustering his courage and stepping out from behind MK. If Demon Bull King didn’t know how to act like a good father then perhaps he could show him.

If he survived this he was going to need a vacation to fight back against the grey hairs this was going to give him.

The other adults all looked at him as if he had sprouted another head as he approached the sobbing child and knelt next to him.

“Red Boy?”

“H-huh?” The young demon looked up in confusion at being addressed.

“I know that right now everything seems pretty unfair and that can be upsetting,” Tang soothed, keeping his voice steady and reassuring. “But I promise you that your father has a good reason for not letting you marry MK. Would it help if he were to calmly explain that reason without getting angry at you?” He aimed that last sentence more at DBK than Red Boy, who’s sobs had slowed.

“M-maybe…” the young demon finally admitted.

Tang turned to stare expectantly at the Demon Bull King. The demon glared down at the scholar.

“Why are you treating him like a child?”

The harshness of his tone made Red Boy start to tear up again. Tang glared right back at DBK.

“Because right now, until we can reverse this, he is a child,” the scholar snapped, his fear replaced with righteous anger. “And like every child, he deserves to be treated with kindness and respect. He deserves to be comforted by a parent whom he obviously adores and be told that it’s okay to cry. He deserves to feel safe and loved.”

The room was silent save for the hiccups and sniffles from Red Boy as they all stared at Tang. DBK’s mouth hung open as he gazed incredulously down at the human, seemingly struck speechless.

“F-father?”

The small and unsure voice of Red Boy snapped the Demon Bull King out of his thoughts, and something seemed to loosen within him.

Tang stood and retreated back to MK and Mei to give the demon some privacy as he knelt next to his son and began speaking in a hushed tone with him.

“What the hell Mr. Tang,” MK hissed into his ear as he stared wide eyed at the pair of demons on the ground.

“Language MK,” Tang hissed right back before leaning over to Mei. “I know you aren’t recording two incredibly powerful demons having a moment of vulnerability who would stop at nothing to destroy us if they discovered the existence of such a video, right?”

“Eep!” Mei nearly dropped her phone as she rushed to stop her recording and then delete the last few minutes of the resulting video.

There were a few minutes of tense silence as the three humans did their best to pretend that there weren’t two demons having an emotional moment together just a few feet away. They gave a sigh of relief when Red Boy launched himself at his father, wrapping his arms around his neck. DBK seemed panicked at first before slowly wrapping his own arms around the young demon.

Tang adjusted his glasses and gave a nervous smile to the Demon Bull King who was scrutinizing him like a particularly confusing puzzle.

At least he didn’t seem angry any more.

Perhaps they would escape this fiasco unscathed after all.

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I was not expecting this chapter to turn into another Dad Tang story. It just kind of happened that way. So onto the references!

First is Durability by TaintTheUnstoppable which is beginning to shape up into something really interesting.

Second is Little One by @its-kall-the-clown which is just a huge fluff fest capped off with some nice angst. Highly recommended.

Finally we have the Red Boy comic by @purble-turble! Now obviously the Tang in their comic probably won’t do what this one did, by this Tang is too much of a Dad to let a little kid cry for too long.

Next chapter won’t be up until sometime next week! See ya then!

#Ink Writes #Monkie Kid #Scattered Cicadas #Tang #Tang Monkie Kid #MK #Mei #Red Son #Red Boy #Demon Bull King #DBK #Lego Monkie Kid #Durability #TaintTheUnstoppable #Little One #KALL #purble-turble #its-kall-the-clown

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kaizokuou-ni-naru · 3 years

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The Voyage So Far: Dressrosa (Part One)

east blue (1 | 2) || alabasta (1 | 2) || skypiea || water 7 || enies lobby || thriller bark || paramount war (1 | 2) || fishman island || punk hazard || dressrosa (1 | 2) || whole cake island || wano (1 | 2)

fujitora’s introduction is so memorable. we don’t even know he’s an admiral until a little while after this, but the way he’s introduced makes him both immediately intriguing and tentatively likable, and also shows he’s terrifyingly powerful. similar to wano, dressrosa is a very twisty arc with a lot of hidden identities and things and people that are not what they seem, and fujitora’s introduction establishes that right off the bat.

it’s no secret i really like law, and i think his relationships and dynamics with the strawhats are some of the reasons why. it’s very good. the way he usually interacts with them (read: suffering) contrasts against the very real respect and faith he develops for them, and for luffy in particular. he refuses to call luffy his subordinate, here, even though it would be basically a get-out-of-jail free card when it comes to dealing with fujitora, and it comes up again more than once later in this arc too (though never to the strawhats themselves).

genuinely the tournament subplot is one of my favorite parts of this entire arc, especially because it happens while the action in the rest of dressrosa is mostly still setting up. it’s so fun to watch luffy go completely ham with minimal consequences, especially because we know more or less from the beginning that he’s not really likely to face a challenge from anyone here.

it allows the supporting cast to be built out as a pretty entertaining group in their own right, too, especially bartolomeo and cavendish, and sets up most of the future grand fleet without being too obvious about it.

i may as well say now, because i’m sure i’ll be talking about it a lot: kyros is one of my favorite one piece parents, and his and rebecca’s relationship hits me in the fucking chest. i’m consistently upset that they got so much stolen from them, and very very glad that they got the happy ending they dearly deserved.

i really like rebecca. and i like her story, too. i know there are people who want her to be more of a fighter, more violent, but i think that’s missing the point. rebecca is someone who has been victimized and commodified and put on display to die in front of a country that hates her again and again and again, and she still stays gentle and good, and i think that makes her one of the strongest characters in this arc.

obviously in isolation ‘damsel in distress’ is not really a good trope (and i’ve complained about it before with regards to tashigi in punk hazard), but i also don’t think it’s really at play here. rebecca is someone who deserves to finally lay down her sword and rest and be happy and safe, and her father deserves the chance to give her the protection he hasn’t been able to.

i really like when oda does things like this with paneling, i think it’s tremendously cool. there’s some similar examples with law’s powers in this arc and punk hazard as well, and it’s cool as hell every time.

this is one of my favorite panels in all of dressrosa.

kyros has a line a lot later on about ‘restoring the true dressrosa,’ and that’s what this scene makes me think of. this is the true dressrosa- the broken and forgotten and lost, down in the darkness beneath the city. and no matter what he may think of himself, riku is still their king.

this panel also reminds me of the similar scene in udon in wano, where the prisoners kneel before momonosuke. which is, incidentally, another favorite of mine. i really like whenever one piece deals in themes of loyalty, i feel like it always hits very hard.

[spoilers for recent wano chapters]

i think some parts of dressrosa line up very nicely with the recent reveal in wano that law’s new goal is uncovering the mystery of the will of d. it’s something that feels very natural and fitting for him, and i think this is one of the reasons why.

of the Ds we’ve seen, law is the only one who’s been really shown to be actively aware of the name and the weight it holds (and thus, the only one to bother to keep it secret), and he even weaponizes it against doflamingo throughout dressrosa in order to throw him off balance, and succeeds. it feels like a very natural progression from that awareness to trying to understand its mystery, at least to me.

barto is a great character because he’s introduced as being a completely unlikable shithead, and like, that’s not inaccurate, he totally is, but he also somehow winds up being likable anyways. part of that is his idolization of the strawhats (because, let’s be real, all of us can relate), but part of it is also that he’s kind of honorable in his own way, and i think him saving bellamy from dellinger despite having no stake in the situation just because they fought together is probably the best example of that.

i really like how the sabo reveal is handled. all the focus is placed on luffy and his reaction, and then we get our actual introduction to sabo as an adult slowly over the course of the next few chapters in how he acts and interacts with other characters throughout the tournament, culminating in his proper introduction after it’s over.

the actual explanation of what happened to him, how he survived and the entirety of his reunion with luffy is saved for the end of the arc, and i think it’s good that it happens there, in a quiet time after the dust is settled, rather than being smacked in the middle of the rising action.

of all the many many devil fruits that have appeared in one piece, i think sugar’s is the scariest, and also one of the ones i’ve probably thought the most about, if only in terms of its sheer inherent horror. the moment her spell is broken is, in my opinion, one of the most satisfying in the entire story. doflamingo’s hold over the entire country snaps, just like that.

the entire sequence of dressrosa’s great panic is one of my favorites in the whole series. i’m a really big fan of moments where the tides are all at once turned, and this is so very much one of those- sugar is knocked out; all the toys revert to human all at once, including kyros, who promptly decapitates (unfortunately not the real) doflamingo; sabo wins the tournament, eats the mera mera no mi, and obliterates the colosseum; and usopp becomes god.

it’s really really good.

even though this is a fake doflamingo it is very satisfying to see him get wrecked, and even though i love the outcome of the luffy and law versus mingo and trebol fight i do think kyros deserved to decapitate the real thing also.

usopp’s role and development in dressrosa is really great. it’s the most focus he’s gotten since water seven/enies lobby, and it comes at a time right when he’d been in the background for a rather long time. in dressrosa, he gets to be a proper hero- he indisputably saves the entire day not once but twice, and even doflamingo recognizes him as by far the biggest wrench in his plans- and more importantly, he gets to do it for the first time as himself, instead of having to hide behind a mask, as he did at both thriller bark and enies lobby.

the way a lot of the fight panels with doflamingo specifically are drawn is very cool, i think. there’s a real sense of speed and danger to a lot of them, which makes sense, as doflamingo is a very dangerous opponent fully capable of slicing off limbs and heads with ease if his enemies make a wrong move, something both the characters and the audience are fully aware of by this point.

to be continued in the next post with the rest of dressrosa!

#the voyage so far #one piece #opmeta #arc: dressrosa #long post #not japanese

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ramblings-of-a-mad-cat · 3 years

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(sees another fandom that I can ask you about and cheers) Orphan Black! Thoughts? I don't know Dr Who but Tatiana is one of my favorite actors period.

Anon you are so sweet! I'm always happy to chat about fandoms and characters and whatnot, and I will never not appreciate the majesty of Tatiana's acting. That is one of the greatest parts of the show hands down.

Orphan Black, to me, is a show that had incredible potential, but didn't really live up to the excitement it created. (Loooong post ahead.)

The thing is, Orphan Black builds a chilling mystery and background, the world it gradually creates as it goes for about the first two seasons, got be very invested and made me wonder a lot about where it was going to go and what the answers were. The setup is brilliant, right from the start with that iconic cold open of Beth's suicide. The unknown is what really helped this show get as thrilling as it was, because the actual answers behind the unknown were kind of hit and miss, and it seemed like far too often, the show just wasn't interested in telling it's story. Hijinks where the clones impersonate each other in slice of life events? That's fun at first and it really works well as they're still getting to know each other. But after a while, it gets tedious, and it seems like the show would rather fuck around and have dance parties (seriously, that scene was such a #BigLippedAlligatorMoment) than focus on the story and the threat that the sisters are facing. Virtually all of Allison's plotlines are like this, they feel like they belong in a different show, and for some reason the writers insisted on giving her one of these storylines like, every season. After Allison passively murders her own friend out of suspecting that she's spying on her, I just don't feel like an arc about her running for some PTA office position even matters. It doesn't feel right.

Speaking of that, here's another example: Donnie. Why did the end of the first season suggest that he was this secret mastermind working for Leekie? The whole idea just deflates in Season 2 and doesn't really go anywhere. He just goes back to being the bumbling sweetheart he was before. Why even have him be the spy? Maybe it should have been Ainsley. Do you want to know the exact moment that I think Orphan Black went wrong? Like, the specific scene? When Leekie was killed off. The character who had thus far been the Big Bad, gets taken out in the stupidest possible way, a literal accident on Donnie's part, and it's even played for laughs. After that point, the show really struggled to regain it's footing, though I don't think it completely went off the rails until about Season 4, and it was still generally hit or miss. Like, some stuff was really good. The introduction of the Castor clones, the development of Rachel's character (I'll get to her, trust me.) and the reveal of Kendall Malone. But it seemed like so much else was just forgotten or otherwise not resolved. Whatever happened to Cal? Sure, the show wanted to focus on the sisters...but Kira deserves to know her father if she wants to. That's just one example. It's a crying shame because this show is sometimes incredible. The metaphor that I always use for situations like this, is a card game. The show has all the right cards in its hand, they're just not being played.

The two strongest characters, at least to me, were Rachel and Helena. One of these characters was superbly written and went through a devastating arc. The other was Helena. We need to talk about her. In Season 1, she really cemented herself as a memorable presence with her trademark accent, her scars, her whole damn personality (again, hats off to Tatiana) and of course, that iconic screechy theme music that accompanied her. Which at first made us jump, but eventually made us cheer. I adored Helena, and I loved the development of her relationship with Sarah. Who went from shooting her in Season 1, to being deadset on rescuring her in Season 3, being furious with Siobhan for betraying her. (This is unrelated but Siobhan has the same " twist villain fakeout" at the end of Season 1 that Donnie does, and it's quite frustrating.) And yet, I swear, the writers just didn't know what to do with Helena half the time. They put her on a bus for long stretches, including one point where she just up and leaves Allison's house in Season 4, for no given reason. And the characters just kind of...don't care. The same thing happens when she gets arrested. No one cares to try and find Helena, even though she's unstable and often a danger to those around her. Even though she's by herself with no real ability to function in society. Even though she's pregnant. There is no excuse for this, and no Sarah, that "I'm sorry, I avoided you" scene in Season 5 is not going to cut it. It's such an afterthought.

I'm being rather critical, but I hope you can tell that this is from a point of passion. I genuinely enjoyed this show and getting to watch it. Just that sometimes it didn't feel like the show cared that I was watching. However, this was not true whenever Rachel was onscreen. Look, I'm a Merula Snyde stan, so you can probably already guess how I feel about Rachel. Despite her crimes, despite her constant slipping back the dark side, I felt so bad for Rachel at the end of it all. That scene with Kira really sums it up. "Who hurt you?" "All of them." And no scene is more intense than when she stabs out the eye cam. Like, I'm sorry, I pitied Rachel pretty much from Season 2 on. Her parents were horrible to her, and I'm supposed to think Ethan is the good guy here? He kills himself in front of his own daughter, telling her that she doesn't deserve him. And then Sarah shoots a pencil through her eye, causing brain damage and requiring a long recovery. I'm not saying that Sarah was wrong to do what she did, just that if I were in her shoes, I'd still feel a degree of guilt for Rachel's condition. In the end, I'm devastated that she was barred from Clone Club, when she made the right decision at the point it mattered. But there's just too much history there, and Sarah won't ever forgive her. (Though again, I do feel as though there's blame to share.) Rachel is my favorite character and I never expected her to be. But she's just so complex. Side note: "Enjoy your oophorectomy" is so damn quotable. I don't know why but I love that line.

So, Rachel's my favorite. Who's my least favorite? It might surprise you. It's Delphine. I'm sorry, but I just...I couldn't get on board with C*phine. Not after Season 3. I was waiting for the point that the show would push to finally redeem Delphine for her turncoat role, for all of the hell that she put Cosima through. By Season 5 though? I realized that as far as the writers were concerned? She already was redeemed. Even though she did nothing to earn it, except be presumed dead by Cosima. The way she treats Cosima in Season 3 is actually disgusting. Her reasoning for breaking up with Cosima is circular. She has to love "all the clones" in order to be with Cosima, and the way to do that is to take over Rachel's job, which means they can't date anymore? I'm not the only one who thought that didn't make sense, right? Oh and let's talk about how she stalks Cosima's date, breaks into her house, and threatens her life. Red. Flags. Cosima even says the line, "If you're not going to be with me, just let me go." I'm sorry, that should not be something she has to beg for. Delphine's behavior made me want her to stay far, far away from Cosima. Who is, incidentally, a sweetie and I absolutely adore her. I legit have trouble remembering that Tatiana's playing her because she just looks and acts so different. That said, even though I immensely disliked Delphine, I am so very glad that they made one of the clones gay. Just like I'm glad that they made one of them trans. (Though...Tony wasn't handled especially well.)

In general, I do think the earlier seasons were stronger. The Brightborn arc, while interesting, didn't really contribute much to the overarching narrative. We got the backstory on Beth's suicide and finally learned the truth about her, I suppose. Still, even though Beth is one of my favorite of the clones, and I never expected her to be either...I feel like the actual reason given for why she took her own life was rather illogical. She apparently did it because the investigation was putting the clones in danger of another Helsinki. Okay, but just because Evie Cho says you should off yourself, doesn't mean you have to. You could just, like...stop investigating. And if you die under mysterious circumstances without explaining anything to the sisters, they're not going to be put off from the investigation. They're going to look into this even more, because they don't know why they're not supposed to. The reveal that she and Art fell in love toward the end adds an extra gut punch, but it also doesn't make sense because wouldn't Art have referenced it during the period that he thought Sarah was Beth? On the other hand, Season 4 also introduced MK. And I have such a soft spot for her. I adore that sheep-masked sweetie. Everyone always asks "Which clone would you date" (because fandoms can think of nothing else I guess) and I never see anyone give any love to MK. Her death absolutely tore me apart. I am glad Siobhan avenged her even if she went down at the same time. Side note, her last word being the affectionate "Chickens..." Broke me.

Season 5 was a strange beast. In general, it seemed like we were finally getting some answers to the questions that were hanging over us. Exploring the deep mythos. But then they kind of turned it around and made it just be a Wizard of Oz style fraud twist. Westmoreland isn't really inhumanly old, he's a charlatan. I don't know why that was necessary in a science fictional show. I've seen the interviews and I get what they were going for, it just feels like it would have been cooler and far creepier if he was actually that old. The puppet master pulling the strings the whole time. We also finally get some answers for Kira's superhuman healing abilities (though we never learn how she's telepathically connected to the clones) and I'm loving it, but the trouble is, it's inconsistent. Ethan "Why is this guy so popular, he's an asshole" Duncan told Rachel specifically that Sarah being able to have children was a fluke, that the clones were "barren by design." I don't know, the whole concept of Revival and of the "magical island" was really foreboding and tied in with the earlier references to The Island of Doctor Moreau. Especially that song about "Revival's Children" just...the shudders, man. But just having it be a regular old scam is...a letdown. I know it may be more realistic, but I don't always need realism in my scifi. The finale is interesting, in that it's mostly an epilogue. I'm glad the clones (sans Rachel) got to live happily ever after, but there are two gut punches right at the end that are total nitpicks but they bother me. Helena naming her kids after Art and Donnie? And writing a memoir that she names "Orphan Black?" Those two tropes can go die in a hole. They can enjoy an oophorectomy, because I'm so sick of them.

The potential of Orphan Black was practically infinite. The results of Orphan Black fell frustratingly short.

#Orphan Black #Alison Hendrix #Rachel Duncan #Helena Orphan Black #Sarah Manning #Cosima Niehaus #Long Post #Beth Childs #Ramblings #Veera Suominen #Donnie Hendrix #Aldous Leekie #Ethan Duncan #Delphine Cormier #Siobhan Sadler #Clone Club #Arthur Bell #Tatiana Maslany

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iamnightduchess · 3 years

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There were originally two Asks for this but the draft got deleted by accident. To the two anons, I am so sorry 🙈 I also spent quite some time on it, so I had to rewrite everything all over again. But the Asks wanted to know what happens after their confession & their lives together afterwards in Hizuru, their courting process, marriage, kids & what Reiner does for a living when Mikasa ascends the imperial throne as the new Empress.

Reiner x Mikasa (ReiKasa) Canonverse AU (18+) Post-Rumbling Headcanon #18 (Pt.2) a.k.a a ficlet

A continuation to this post. Show me some ❤!

‼️Contains: mentions of PTSD‼️

Aftermath of Confession

Jean, who was also there with Annie & Armin, was very happy to see that two of his loved ones are finally embracing each other's feelings. He asks the new couple, "So, what's next?

Reiner looks into Mikasa's eyes and says, "For now, I just want to make out with the new most important woman in my life."

Annie sneakily jabs, "Get a room."

Reiner snarkily replies, "Good idea," causing Mikasa and Kiyomi both to panic before Reiner adds, "It was a joke, ladies."

"Jerk." Annie grins, as she holds her paramour's hand tight in hers. One could also see the look of pride and happiness on Armin's face, upon realizing that his sworn sister is genuinely loved by a good-hearted man, who would be her true anchor & life companion after the horrors she was forced to go through.

Reiner immediately approaches the Azumabito family matriarch and asks for her blessing and advice with the intention to officially court her kin. Kiyomi states that once Mikasa ascends the throne, the rules of Hizuru forbids the empress to marry a commoner but the spouse of a married ruler who ascends the throne will be recognized as the empress or prince consort. Thus, Kiyomi advises for their courting to proceed after the marriage, which will be held in a week.

Reiner and Mikasa, together, also talk to Jean and Armin in making it a triple wedding instead.

As soon as they return to the settlement, Reiner wastes not a second as he also looks for Levi, to get the older man's blessing as his soon-to-be wife's last living kin on her father's side.

Levi shakes his hand, albeit sternly, to which even Jean and Armin would cower in reflex, yet no one can miss the tender look in their former captain's eyes; one of a proud father when he said, "Be true. Be loyal."

Karina, Gabi and the rest of the Braun family are over the moon over the news of their immediate engagement & the family spearheads the wedding preparation together. The men go out to hunt and the women help with the simple but homely decoration as well as cooking preparations. Connie prefers to help the women and part of the reason is he's really interested in getting to know one of them; a single lady who had adopted 4 children whose parents were killed in the Rumbling.

The evening after Reiner had received Levi's blessings, Mikasa asks him out for a stroll around the settlement. Reiner also wants to spend more alone time with her. Teary-eyed, Mikasa confides in Reiner on everything that happened during the moment when she decapitated Eren's head, a truth that she has never told anyone. Not even to Armin. She told him that she placed her lips on Eren's cold dead ones to say her last farewell and that she is haunted by what she has done ever since. She is scared & terrified of what she has done and she feels she is being unfair to Reiner because of how 'broken' she is from within. Mikasa also says that she understands if Reiner wants to call off their wedding because he deserves to be happy with someone who doesn't have immense emotional baggage like she does.

Reiner, wordlessly, only holds her close in return. Mikasa almost flinches but she gradually allows the shackles inside her head go. However, she isn't able to return Reiner's physical affections as yet because of the unbearable guilt she still holds, thinking she is unworthy of Reiner's genuine love.

Reiner also confides that he has his emotional baggages himself; namely the day he tried to shoot himself in the head right before the assault in Liberio. Reiner also shares the reason why he has stopped thinking of dying, in particularly, the moment he realizes he did not want to give up on life so easily was the second he saw Mikasa's helpless face when the alliance decided to kill Eren. He accepts if Mikasa refuses to proceed with their wedding, but he would still follow her to Hizuru and be by her side - even as a friend.

At that moment, they both realize one fundamental truth: all these horrors they had to go through especially together only made them even more compatible with each other. No other man could ever understand and love Mikasa the way she is. No other woman could truly understand and love Reiner the way he is. They were both broken, emotionally weighed down but the strength they each needed was in the other all along.

Reiner and Mikasa are indeed two odd-shaped puzzle pieces who turn out to be a perfect fit after all.

That night, Reiner makes the first pledge to Mikasa way before his wedding vows: He will love her and make her happy for the rest of his life. He will never give up on her. Not even after death.

Wedding

The wedding had been a simple but a merry affair. Falco had been the ring-bearer & Gabi the flower girl.

Kiyomi had a craftsmaker from Hizuru and a blacksmith from Marley to make wedding bands from melted 3DMG blades and titan crystals for the three couples.

Kiyomi had found beautiful western-style white silk dresses in the Azumabito family's garments chest on the main ship. The brides, along with the help from Gabi, Karina and her sister, personalize the dresses according to their preferences.

Mikasa wears an ankle-length princess cut dress with tight long sleeves. She embroidered the hem with forest green trimmings (her new favorite color) and sewn gold laces and ribbons on the wrists and neck to match the color of Reiner's eyes. So as the gold teardrop stone on her silver headpiece. Reiner wore a matching white dress shirt and dark pants with a long beige overcoat, with a silver garnet tie to match the colors of his bride's beautiful eyes.

Annie wore a shin-length bell-shaped dress, with a sky blue drape silk wrap across her shoulders and sky blue hair ribbon to match the color of Armin's eyes. Armin wore a crisp beige coat with a light blue dress shirt and a matching dark blue bow tie.

Pieck, who's already 7 weeks pregnant at that time, wore a long halter bare-back dress, with a flowy dark purple ombre gradient skirt and a violet satin waistband, which matched Jean's bowtie and suit vest. He paired it with a crisp dark brown full suit.

Annie & Pieck were walked down the aisle by their respective fathers. Levi was the one who accompanied Mikasa down the wedding lane to Reiner.

Reiner was just captivated - he had tears in his eyes the moment he saw Mikasa in her wedding dress. He immediately kisses her hand when Levi gave her away.

Reiner & Mikasa's vows brought the guests to tears. Reiner vowed that he will always place Mikasa's life & needs before his and will always be with her through every second of their lives together - side-by-side, not behind her or in front of her. Mikasa vowed that Reiner will always have not only her heart but her whole life, in which their souls are bound for all eternity.

When they shared their first kiss as husband & wife, Mikasa truthfully savored & surrendered her heart to her first true love's kiss with Reiner.

Since Captain Levi was injured, it was Armin who sweetly offered his hand for Mikasa's father-daughter dance, as her sworn brother.

At the reception, Connie, being the best man to all the grooms jokingly said to the three of them, "You boys might have been married first, but I already beat you guys in being a dad," proudly proclaiming while cradling his adopted 3-month old baby girl in his arms.

Wedding Night & Courting

That eve of the wedding, Reiner had been a perfect gentleman and he wants Mikasa to know that they will always be each other's equal. He only asks her to take the lead when it comes to the physical intimacy in their shared life & they will only consummate their wedding when she is ready.

Reiner & Mikasa spent their wedding night just talking & reminiscing about their time as 104th cadets and positive memories of everyone they know until they fell asleep in each other's arms. Reiner wanted Mikasa to remember only the good memories with Eren and that night, Mikasa had a minor night terror but Reiner's embrace helped calm her down as he helped her back to sleep.

The next morning, Reiner & Mikasa spent their time helping the resident cooks in the main kitchen with breakfast. Reiner likes to sneak in quick kisses on Mikasa's forehead in between the kitchen chores & despite not being able to fully initiate physical affections towards Reiner, Mikasa have become more comfortable in accepting Reiner's physical affections without being subconsciously defensive.

They spent the next several days together by doing domestic chores around the settlement in particularly, they discovered that they both share the same enjoyment towards harvesting in the fields. Reiner loves seeing the peaceful expression on Mikasa's face underneath the sun when she's working hard at plotting soil for the vegetable roots. He never stops seeing her as the strongest, most beautiful woman in his life.

They both went on evening walks with Falco & Gabi and stargazing at night. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would just sit in silence while holding each other's hands. They also discussed on their near future plans in settling down in Hizuru, bringing Karina with them so they can still take care of her together.

Reiner carries her from the main walkway to their shared unit every single night, much to Armin & Annie's amusement and Mikasa's horror. But by the third night, Mikasa had become more relaxed and she leant on Reiner's sturdy shoulders, accepting his comfort naturally.

Reiner also loves giving Mikasa surprises - whether it's a wild flower, a ripe edible harvest or any interesting things that he found while he was out helping at the fields.

Reiner's honesty, diligence and romantic wooing won Mikasa's heart and the last evening before they left for Hizuru, they finally consummate their marriage. That night, he carried her all the way to bed and they never left until they woke up in the morning. Reiner spent the whole night just worshipping every inch of his wife's body and never took his eyes off hers when they made love for the first time.

Life in Hizuru

As soon as they docked in Hizuru, Reiner & Mikasa, respectively, went into an immediate intensive training to prepare them for the duties & expectations of the imperial throne. Mikasa, to prepare her as an Empress and Reiner, to prepare him as her prince consort, especially him being the first non-Hizurian blood to sit on the imperial throne.

Reiner also voluntarily enlisted with the Hizurian naval forces to learn the new ropes of being a sea military member, as oppossed to land. It wasn't long when the higher-ups took notice of his exceptional skills, natural leadership & battle experience, that he was made an Admiral in training within three months of his enlistment.

Reiner & Mikasa had to spend the first few months apart and that made the newlyweds miss each other even more.

During this temporary separation, Reiner and Mikasa had been writing love letters to each other, everyday without fail. Karina made sure that her daughter-in-law would never feel alone & she always helped Kiyomi in supporting the empress-to-be so it would not be a lonely, isolated period for Mikasa while she's being separated from Reiner.

Reiner & Mikasa were only reunited a week before their enthronement, which was held six months after they arrived in Hizuru. Everyone of their loved ones in Fort Salta's residence had been invited as the royal guests. Despite having challenging pregnancies as former female shifters, Annie and Pieck wouldn't miss the opportunity to support Mikasa & Reiner's historical day as they officially become the new age imperial monarch of the East Sea country. Pieck went into an early labor during the visit. Jean & Pieck's eldest son was born in Hizuru.

Enthronement & the royal Azumabito (Ackerman-Braun) family legacy

Mikasa's royal title is Her Imperial Highness Empress Mikasa of Azumabito.

Reiner's royal title is His Imperial Highness Reiner Braun Consort to Empress Mikasa.

The first night after Mikasa & Reiner's enthronement, they conceived the firstborn heir to the throne - His Imperial Highness Prince Ryuujin Marcel Ackerman-Braun of Azumabito. In the following years, they were also succeeded by twin princesses, Her Imperial Highness Princess Reina Mathilde Ackerman-Braun of Azumabito & Her Imperial Highness Princess Ryoko Minerva Ackerman-Braun of Azumabito and the second crown prince, His Imperial Highness Prince Ren Mathias Ackerman-Braun of Azumabito.

Mikasa will then make history as the first royal empress who had built the greatest legacy & the strongest, peaceful empire in the world. She is the global icon of world peace & female empowerment, with her husband's neverending love & support.

Reiner is known in history as not only as one of the World's heroes & Eldian consort to the Hizurian empress, but he is the first non-Hizurian naval leader who unites three major nations in the world - through his battlefield intelligence & military prowess.

Under Levi Ackerman's watchful tutelage, Reiner & Mikasa's four children (consecutively their descendants that followed after) have become existential symbol of humanity's unity through the four major bloodlines running through their veins : Hizurian, Ackerman, Marleyan & Eldian from their parents. Each child becoming successful scholars who would continue to fight for humanity in their respective chosen fields; Prince Ryuujin in military & global peace efforts, Princess Reina in women's studies, Princess Ryoko in medicine & Prince Ren in industrialism - all fortifying the legacies their parents have inspired them with growing up.

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I truly had fun in working on this. Just imagining such potential future for my two beloved characters never fails to leave an everlasting warmth in my heart. Even if 139 may not promise a future for Reiner & Mikasa, I'd hope this vision would offer a much-needed comfort for my fellow RK shippers ❤🫂 xoxo

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linkspooky · 4 years

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It is really sad how Eren treats his friends. They are very supportive and see him through the tough situations yet he is cold and manipulative towards them.

How Eren treats his friends is one of the most interesting aspects of his character. He always makes it clear how much he loves his friends, but at the same time very confused by the idea that they might love him. He wants to love others, but he doesn’t want to be loved.

It reminds me of a quote from one of my favorite books, Zaregoto Volume 2: Strangulation Romanticist.

Hers was an all-embracing love. Unwavering, undiluted affection. If I killed a person directly, she would probably forgive me even then. She would love me all the same. To me, that love was just a little too heavy. I could feel it crushing me. That wide open devotion. It wasn’t that I couldn’t feel affection towards others. It was that I couldn’t receive affection from others. No matter how much adoration Mikoko-chan showed towards me, all I could respond with was disdain for a murderer. No matter how much her feelings for me had inspired her actions, all I could see was another homicide.

And thus I was damaged goods. And thus I was a human failure.

Basically, the protagonist of the story is unable to accept other people’s love for him because he’s unable to see himself as a person fundamentally worthy for love, so whatever their feelings are towards him he rejects them all. Eren feels things for other people, but he rejects other’s feelings towards him and that’s why a lot of his relationships break down. I’ll elaborate more under the cut.

So, it starts with the mother (as it often does). “Because I was Born into this World” is a phrase Eren’s entire character revolves around. It’s a statement of unconditional love. A parent should love a child because they were born as their child, that’s enough, that love doesn’t have to be earned. It’s a simple and warm statement.

Unconditional love is something that Eren wants, but also he can’t really comprehend or even accept because he doesn’t feel like he’s earned it. Eren fixates on his mother, and more specifically the trauma of losing his mother.

His mother loves him unconditionally, however, Eren wasn’t able to do anything for his mother. He wasn’t able to protect her and watched helplessly as she tied. Eren had unconditional love for most of his formative years yes, but it was also taken away from him suddenly when he was a child in a situation he had no control over. Ever since that, every single relationship Eren ahs formed with toher people has been an insecure attachment.

In basic terms, insecure attachment is a relationship style where the bond is contaminated by fear. This is expressed mainly as reluctance in the relationship and other mixed emotions, such as dependence and rejection. Most psychologists believe that insecure attachment is formed in early childhood.

In developmental psychology the basic theory is that the way children first form connections with their parents will inform them on how all other relationships after that point are made. Those who have a secure attachment know how to make healthy connections with other, while those who are insecure will continue to show unhealthy behaviors later on in life.

Eren had a secure attachment, and he lost it in a situation outside of his control. That stunted his growth, and ability to form all other relationships past that point. Yes, Eren still had some ungrateful behavior towards Armin and Mikasa when he was younger and his mother was still alive, but those behaviors are things he could have grown past if he was raised in a healthy environment. Instead, he lost his home, all security, and was raised as a child soldier instead.

This has been a paradox in Eren’s character for a long time. Unlike people like Reiner, unlike Zeke, or even Historia, Eren has unconditinoal love surrounding him coming from Armin and Mikasa. He has two people who would trust him. He still had a home even after losing his initial home.

Zeke can’t comprehend why Eren who has all of these things, all fo the things Zeke has wanted his entire life, in both childhood and his adolescence is unable to accept any of them. Why he would choose to throw them all away and fight instead? Once again, it comes to Eren’s image of himself.

Eren doesn’t see himself as a good person. He doesn’t see himself as worthy of love. That’s why even though he wants to share a family with Mikasa, and share a dream with Armin he ends up rejecting both of them because he sees himself as too inferior to accept any of their feelings. He’s too insecure about himself to form any kind of attachment.

It returns to his mother because that was the starting point of his trauma. It’s not that he’s been the same ever since he was born. He’s just never been able to grow and cope properly with the loss of his mother. Ever since losing her, his every other relationship has been characterized by fear of this loss. He’s so paralyzed by fear of losing people he can’t allow himself to get close to people, and that’s where the insecurity comes from. This doublethink statement. Eren wants a mother’s love, but Eren sees himself as a bad person unworthy of a mother’s love.

This is a paradox that informs every one of his actions. Eren loves his friends. Eren doesn’t want to be loved back. There is also an element to control about this. Eren can control his own feelings, but can’t control other people’s feelings.

Eren can understand himself. He can understand his own love. He can understand that he would die for Mikasa, and he knows his own feelings towards Armin as well. However, he doesn’t really get why either of them would ever like him.

Eren is told right to his face that Mikasa loves him, and his response is to brush it off. It doesn’t matter because Eren can’t experience that love. Not only can he not accept it, but he also is going to die regardless. He doesn’t really understand other people’s feelings, and when he is confronted with those feelings he finds himself unworthy of them. He’s always seen himself as inferior to both Mikasa and Armin. He genuinely doesn’t understand why Mikasa would follow him around.

He’s always seen Armin as someone different and better than him, because Armin can care about things besides violence. He’s driven by more than just hatred.

Which is why Eren eventually cuts off both relationships to him. One he was never able to accept their feelings for him in the first place. Two, it’s about control. If Eren is the one to break the relationships then he is still in control. He’s not abandoned, because he is the one who chose to terminate the relationships. Everything Eren does is out of his fear of losing people, but also of losing people in uncontrolled circumstances.

If Eren is the one who is cutting them off, if Eren is the one who breaks the connection then that’s different somehow. That’s different to Eren at least. Once again it goes back to the idea of insecure attachment. There’s a reason that Eren’s description of freedom just sounds like being alone. Eren can’t accept other people’s feelings for him. Which is why he’ll often choose to do these things entirely on his own, because trying to deal with other people is too difficult for him. It’s easier for him to be alone. He doesn’t feel security from a single one of his attachments.

It is once again a child’s idea of forming relationships. He wants everyone to agree with him, and when they don’t he wants them to leave him alone. He can’t handle conflict and either pushes them away or goes off to sulk on his own. He wants the bad things, and the conflicts to just disappear by closing his eyes and coveing his ears. His own feelings for other people matter, but he doesn’t really comprehend other peopel’s feelings for him. Eren views his relationships in a very immature and stunted way, and doesn’t really want to grow past that. A fully developed person is capable of having secure relationships where they can accept other people’s feelings even if they lead to conflict.

Utlimately, the disconnect between Eren and his friends post-timeskip comes from the fact that all of Eren’s other friends are struggling in their own ways to grow up, and grow past who they once were. Whereas, Eren wants to remain the same ever since he was a child. He wants to cling to his and Armin’s childish dream that the world is completely empty and open for them to explore.

Which is why unless Eren makes a major change fast in the way he connects to other people he’s going to be alone. If Eren’s mother told him he deserves to “live in this world” simply by being born, then dying alone would be the opposite of what his mother wanted for him. But it’s a road he’s quickly speeding down.

#Anonymous #eren jaeger #attack on titan #attack on titan meta #aot meta #metasks #shingeki no kyojin meta #eren meta

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ikkaku-of-heart · 3 years

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Her Brother's Blood is on His Hands

(Originally written for @heart-pirates-week for Ikkaku’s day with the prompt “Family” but ended up being delayed until now. Inspired by discussions with @shambledsurgeon and @medicus-mortem)

Ikkaku awoke slowly, the persistent beeping of a heart monitor resembling that of a particularly slow but annoying alarm clock. She tried to sit up but a sharp pain in her side dissuaded her, so she was forced to remain on her back, looking around at the sterile walls of the infirmary. She was hooked up to an IV, there were several machines monitoring her vitals, and she could feel the pressure of tightly-wound bandages around her torso and arms.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Law said from the chair at her bedside, putting down the medical book he’d been reading. The circles under his eyes appeared darker than usual, but his grin was comforting and sure. “I was beginning to wonder if we’d have to resort to drastic measures to wake Sleeping Beauty.”

“Law?” she asked weakly, grimacing at how hoarse she sounded due to the dryness of her throat. “The fuck happened?”

“Gonna have to be more specific,” he stated as he carefully helped prop her up enough that she could safely drink some water. “Do you mean how did you end up here? Maybe the extent of your wounds? Or how about what, exactly, I did to the fucker who hurt you?”

Her eyes widened as she recalled what had happened. She’d been taking a walk with Jean Bart, venting about how much she hated that they were now government dogs because Law’d insisted on handing the Navy one hundred hearts. They’d run into a squad of Marines. Her brother’s squad, to be exact. Ushi had decided it was pointless trying to climb the Navy ranks the normal way, and thus had come up with the idea of sucking up to the Celestial Dragons. And what better way to do so than to return to Saint Rosward his wayward slave?

Heart clenching at the thought of her shipmate being handed back over to those bastards, she asked, “Is Jean—”

“He’s fine. Discharged yesterday,” Law promised, nodding towards the empty bed on the other side of the room. He picked up a chart, studying it as he continued, “Needed a lot of stitches for the lacerations across his back and arms, but nothing life-threatening.”

“Good,” she sighed in relief. He hadn’t been killed or taken. Jean Bart would continue to live as a free man for a while longer. He deserved that much.

“Was quite the sight, seeing him charging towards the ship, covered in blood, carrying you like a baby while you bled out from a stab wound,” he commented, voice even, though there was an unmistakable tightness in his jaw. “I’m just glad he managed to tell me who’d done this to you two before he passed out.”

White teeth sank into her bottom lip, guilt pulsing through her. That’s right. It hadn’t exactly been a victory. They’d managed to take down most of the Marines, but Ushi had managed to get behind her, and then there’d been excruciating pain as he’d driven a knife deep into her side…

“I’m sorry, Captain,” she whispered, black curls hiding her face as she hung her head in shame.

“The hell are you apologizing for?” he asked, gold eyes flicking up from the clipboard and narrowing in displeasure.

She wrung her hands, anxious and guilty. “Jean Bart got hurt because of my family baggage.”

“He got hurt because of an opportunistic asshole who decided that Jean being under the protection of a shichibukai didn’t matter,” he snapped. Pausing, he took a deep breath to compose himself. “The fact that said asshole came out of the same uterus as you is irrelevant.”

“We both know that’s not true,” she countered, refusing to look at him. “He targeted the Hearts because of me. He always has. And he wouldn’t have been able to go after Jean Bart if I’d let you kill him years ago. Or killed him myself. You deserve a subordinate with the stones to kill her own brother.”

Internally, she berated herself for that last part. None of this would be a problem if she’d just toughened up and put an end to that bastard. Why did she always seem to stop herself? Morality? Because she knew how heartbroken her parents would be? Because even years later, she was still scared of her childhood boogeyman?

Her thoughts were disturbed by the clipboard lightly smacking her on the head in reproach. It didn’t hurt, but Ikkaku rubbed her head anyway, frowning up at her captain. “You trying to knock me unconscious again?”

“If that’s what it takes to get you to stop talking bullshit,” he retorted. He glared at her for a moment before letting out a sigh, a tattooed hand falling heavily on her shoulder. “Ikkaku,” Law stated, tone brokering no argument, “what I deserve is a subordinate with the stones to stand up to a power-hungry bastard looking to sell her nakama to a bunch of delusional inbred freaks, which that’s exactly what I’ve got. And what you deserve is to not get stabbed in the spleen by your own blood.”

Well. It was hard to argue that logic. “I guess. But next time—”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“You don’t know that.”

The hand on her shoulder fell away to flip through the pages of her chart. “Ikkaku, you nearly bled out before you even got to the sub. You’re lucky Shachi and Penguin share your blood type and were basically tripping over themselves to donate. I had to replace your spleen and left kidney, and if that knife had gone in at a slightly different angle, he could have punctured your stomach or lung. In other words, this bastard nearly cost me my engineer. You’ve known me for goin’ on five years now; do you really think that once you were stable I just sat around twiddling my thumbs while I waited for you to wake up?”

Dark eyes widened in realization. “Did you kill him?”

“Would you be mad if I said I had?”

No. Not at him at least, but she still felt like she’d let him down by not being able to do it herself. “He shouldn’t have been your problem to solve.”

“You’re right. He shouldn’t have been a problem,” he replied harshly. Before Ikkaku could internally berate herself further, though, Law ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and there was a spark of guilt in his eyes. “No Marine should have even touched you guys. That’s supposed to be one of the fucking perks of being a shichibukai. I told you when I took this damn title that you be safe and look how that turned out.”

Yes, that had been a major argument between them, hadn’t it? For Ikkaku, not wanting to be affiliated with the World Government hadn’t just been a matter of pride or general hatred for the bastards who ran the world – she’d been afraid. Terrified that her brother would be waiting for her around every corner. That he’d find a way to get her alone, to finish the job he’d started when she was seven, to finally get her out of his hair. Law had promised she’d be safe, that he wouldn’t let him so much as breath near her. Eventually, she’d come to believe him, but things hadn’t gone to plan.

“You can’t blame yourself for Ushi not following the rules, Law,” she insisted. Yeah, she could have berated him for not listening to her, but in reality, Law’s logic had been sound; Ushi shouldn’t have dared to try anything. Ikkaku didn’t just have the Hearts protecting her anymore – the Navy itself had become another obstacle in his way. She should have been safe.

However, even she hadn’t fully considered why Ushi would go this far, but in hindsight, it made sense. Last she’d checked, he hadn’t been promoted in a while. Hadn’t advanced as quickly as he wanted or earned any accolades for heroism like everyone back home had been expecting. He was a commodore still – not even a rear-admiral, and his name didn’t strike fear into the hearts of pirates like Smoker’s did.

Because he’d been put on a pedestal, her brother had always gotten away with everything, which had only enforced his cruel and abusive nature. The whole island had believed that he’d become a famous Marine and boost their reputation, which was why they’d been willing to overlook the bruises that littered his sister’s arms, or the fact that she’d gone missing for three days while under his care.

If he’d come home a failure, everyone would have to finally admit he was nothing but a twisted, cruel bully. And instead of accepting the blame for enabling, they’d likely make him answer for his crimes.

But more than that, he’d be forced to accept that he was never that special to begin with, and she knew a man as arrogant as him wouldn’t be able to bear that.

Shaking her head, she almost felt pity for him. “Ushi was desperate, and desperate men are unpredictable as fuck. You couldn’t have known he’d be crazy enough to try to suck up to the Celestial Dragons.”

“Neither of us could have known, but I still could have protected you better,” Law retorted, crossing his arms. He still didn’t look fully convinced of his own absolution, but he declared quite plainly, “The fact is, brothers shouldn’t murder their younger siblings, or even try to.”

Well, not even Ikkaku could argue that.

But actions had consequences, and there was still a strong chance Law’s retaliation, justified or not, would bite him in the ass.

“Ushi might have been no one special, but the Navy’s not going to be happy about you killing one of their own,” she said, genuinely worried. Even if Ushi had been going against orders, shichibukai weren’t supposed to attack their Marine allies. What if they decided to strip Law of his new title? Sure, she hated that he was a government dog, but it was a vital part of his plan to take down Joker, and if that had been stripped away because he’d recklessly pursued revenge on her behalf…

The way he smirked at her belied that he didn’t share even a fraction of her concern. “The Navy’ll have a hell of a time pinning a murder on me when there’s no evidence. It’s unlikely he was ordered to attack you and Jean Bart, so there’s no paper trail. The man was obsessed with advancing up the ladder, so likely only a select few are even aware you’re related, thus no one knows of his unfortunate connection to the Heart Pirates. And unless they plan on gutting a bunch of Sea Kings and piecing together chunks of half-digested flesh, I doubt they’ll find enough of his body to even determine his cause of death.”

“You fed him to Sea Kings?”

“His remains, at least. As for how I killed him…well, I won’t bore you with the details.”

It was highly doubtful what he’d done could be described as boring, but Ikkaku decided not to press him. Knowing Law, it had been slow, painful, and had probably involved dissection. “You didn’t have to do all that for me, Captain.”

He dismissed her concerns with a casual wave of his hand. “Of course I did. You’re family. Besides, if I hadn’t, the rest of the crew would have gone after him themselves, and they wouldn’t have done as good a job covering their tracks. Or made him scream quite as loud. No offense to them, but conventional torture methods just can’t match the agony of having your heart slowly crushed to a pulp.”

Was she a bad person for not feeling sick at the thought of her oldest brother—her own blood—being subjected to the Surgeon of Death’s sadism? That instead of anger or disgust, she felt relieved? Sure, he was a massive piece of shit who deserved to die for everything he’d done to her, her other brothers, and who knows what else, but he was still family, wasn’t he?

No. The Hearts were family. Law was family. He was right – Ushi was blood, but he wasn’t her brother.

Law’s brow furrowed with concern and he reached forward, cupping her cheeks and wiping tears away with his thumbs. Ikkaku hadn’t even realized she was crying.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, looking genuinely guilty. “I shouldn’t have overstepped like that. I should have at least waited until you were awake and asked—”

Though she was tired and weak and it took far more effort than she’d like, Ikkaku lifted her arm and flicked Law squarely in the forehead. He didn’t quite flinch back, but he did give her an annoyed grunt, but his brow did smooth out when he saw her bright smile.

“Thank you,” she said, cheeks streaked with tears but voice warm with love and affection and gratitude. It might take a while for her to fully accept that Ushi was no longer laying in wait at every Marine base, but for now, she could breath a little easier. The monster from her childhood had finally been vanquished.

Trafalgar Law might not have been a knight in shining armor, but he was something better. He was the big brother she’d always wished for.

Relieved that she wasn’t angry, Law gave her a tiny but sincere grin back. His engineer was alive, safe, and giving him that sunny smile that could light up a room. Well worth the blood on his hands, and quietly, he vowed to keep her, and the rest of his Hearts, safe from whatever hell might come their way.

They were a loyal bunch of fools, but they were his family. He’d set the world on fire before allowing anything to happen to them.

A hand adorned with the word DEATH retreated from Ikkaku’s cheek to ruffle her hair. “Don’t mention it.”

#The Engine is the Heart of the Ship (canon)#Join the Hearts: We Have Uniforms #Heart Siblings #Drabble #(been wanting to go into what happens to Ushi during the timeskip)#(and how it would definitely be Law that kills him instead of Ikkaku)#(hope people like this!)#(not sure about the title but it's the best I could think of without being cheesy or cliche)

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lizacstuff · 3 years

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Bölüm 45 asks

Plus a few asks from 44, and one about the fragman for 46