when will the weekend start...?

I’ve already attached this to a re-blog, but it feels like something that I want to post as a standalone as well. Sometimes I scream into the tumblr void about shit. Thanks to a gifted copy of The Body Keeps the Score I’m doing more DIY therapy work and processing some of my thoughts through the interwebs. So here’s a brain thing.

🎶Let’s talk about projection baby, let’s talk about you and me!!🎶 All joking aside, so many of us who deal with CPTSD use fictional works to process our trauma. We are outsourcing emotions and memories that we, for whatever reason, struggle to deal with unless there is some remove from the immediacy of them. We seek to find ourselves in characters, parallels in stories and situations for our own experiences. We live their struggles and triumphs as our own and so find catharsis within them. Aziraphale as a character is a particularly good example of this. He’s doing the thing so many of us who are trying to convince everyone else and ourselves that “we’re FINE, thank you!” do. He isn’t really processing his shit. He’s putting it on a third party to release some pressure before he completely loses it. And in so doing, us the audience, have gained a character that we both empathize and sympathize with, and in turn, use to work through much of our own trauma. I honestly think that’s why so many of us are waiting for S3 with bated breath. We need Az to figure it out. We need them both to heal. To defeat the odds. To find happiness. We’re all waiting for that because we need to believe that it’s something we can have too. If this Angel who foists 6 millennia of grief and rage and maddening questions about the “why” of everything off into an entire bookshop’s worth of stories and characters, if he can figure it out…surely we can too. Surely there is hope for us buried somewhere in the stacks. Surely there is some understanding that can be found, some catharsis or healing within the lines of these narratives. So we’re all holding our breath, our hope and our hearts, in our hands, waiting to finish the story, and in so doing, complete some part of ourselves. Finally framing those cracks where the light comes in, into something beautiful.

A badly made (on purpose) comic thats totally not self projecting in simons part

me staring at the fanfic i wrote out as a coping mechanism out of pure anger and devastation in the wake of something that upsetted me (it was do trivial and so stupid), projecting it onto a poor character for them to suffer

Look, when I said I wanted to be like Connor Murphy I meant how he LOOKED he has GENDER man. I did not want to loose the best friend I've ever had, feel alienated by everyone and snap at people who try to talk to me because I swear, I know, they're out to get me. I just wanted to paint my nails and still feel like a boy with my long hair.

projecting

Thank you but I’ll say goodbye now. This wasn’t going to work anyhow. Even if I feel my chest ache with every breath that I take. So really;

Thank you but it’s time for goodbyes, I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. But as the snow continued falling over me, I felt my determination leave. And like you, here, it slowly disappeared.

Trans masc Misa is canon to me <3

i vividly see a modern billy in his early twenties, having escaped his father and living happily with steve, going to therapy every week and watching those soothing dancing veggie videos on youtube non-stop. he also watches asmr compilations on his ipad. steve comes home from work and just sees his boyfriend drowning in his clothes, snug under the covers with his water bottle on the bedside table, headphones on, and those videos playing. he watches with fond amusement as billy stays focused on the screen, eye lids drooping sleepily. he looks absolutely adorable and steve just wants to kiss him breathless but he knows billy likes to have his personal space while watching his videos. it's one of those random things that billy does that steve adores about him.

↸ So tired it's not even FUNNY

but not sleepy enough to fall asleep and REST

Your post about Genos telling non-stop "I love you" is adorable but...

What if it's the first time in his life Saitama has been told that?

Because his parents were negligent with him so he never got to hear it from them.

And he had some girlfriends in the pasts, but none of them crossed that line, and neither he did.

What if told you that's exactly why he says it so much? 👁

Imma keep it fr: most of the headcanons I give Saitama for his past are just projection. Even headcanons and scenes that I post, that have nothing to (directly) do with his past, are written with those headcanons in mind. Written with projection laying underneath. So, with that being said:

Saitama was a very neglected kid. Very. He won't say they've never said before, because, being technical here, they have. It's just that it feels like they never did. Every "I love you" that came from his parents were shallow and, 9 times out of 10, were just out of courtesy. He can only ever remember it being genuine when he was a child—a toddler, because at that point he had no expectations to uphold for them. He was just a little boy, and nothing more.

Over time it just became empty words, like it was an obligation as a parent than anything else. And overtime they just completely stopped saying it to him, and he stopped saying it to them. But deep down he wished to be told he was loved. Genuinely. Or to be given the chance to say it to someone.

He became someone who gets easily attached after he lets them in. At the first chance he gets, he will dump all his affections onto a person. He wants to start a family at some point for the sole purpose of giving his child(ren) the affection and love he never received. A lifetime of love he's never been able to give.

His attachment always drove people away, however. Ex-partners always called him needy and "too much", and they'd leave. He never said "I love you" to them because he understood they might not be ready to share that sentiment, but everytime they left, he always ached—wished he'd have said it so that maybe that would have made them stay. Or at least say it so that they could say it back before they left.

When he dates Genos, he holds off because he doesn't want to push him away. Not this one—this one he wants to stay so badly. If he left it'd kill him. Probably.

But eventually, finally, he gets the chance to tell Genos he loves him, because Genos says it first. He says it with so much love and genuinity, it almost becomes too much for Saitama. And it's when Genos says it, when he realizes he finally gets the chance to tell someone he loves them, he does. He tells Genos he loves him. He says it so bluntly, loaded with tonnes of once-restrained desperation and need.

When he finally says it, it's like a fucking dam breaks. He's finally said it. He said it and it was real and reciprocated and said just for Genos, just for his greatest boyfriend. His sweet boyfriend. And his boyfriend said it back in a heartbeat. That invisible desire he never realized lurking in the back of his brain is finally fulfilled. And now that there isn't anything stopping him from saying it, he babbles it. It's a mantra, a song he sets on loop, a symphony. Each space between kisses is filled with an "I love you", each breath he gets back is used as fuel for him to say it again. It's almost like an addiction, really.

And what fuels the fire in him is the fact Genos catches up with him and says it a million times, too. A little co-op game where one person has to say it first so the other can say it next. When he says "I love you", Genos has one to follow. Decades of pent up love, affection with no outlet and nowhere to output it, break away. And it's everything for him.

Derek sounds like he threatens to keep Aaron under his roof for the rest of his life because of his autism, since he can legally do that due to how his brain works differently and other bullshit he says, and also the ultima curse.

heres another. arthur struggles a lot in the "sleep regularly" and "take breaks" department. so much so that being separated from any kind of work stresses/angers him greatly, even if rest does sound nice to him. its one of the few things he gets noticeably angry over, actually

projection hours: rex mohs is trans (but we all knew that already) and he chose the name "rex" because he likes dinosaurs

Morris delancey with little twitches, his neck jerks or his face scrunches up and he gets more and more frustrated each time someone mocks him.