caterpillars
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“Skywalker!”
Luke glances up. It’s the middle of the night, but the base’s command center is still bustling, albeit more mutedly than during the day. It takes him a moment to figure out who’s calling. Eventually, he spots Leia on the other side of the central command table, standing next to an imposing-looking woman. Both of them are watching him.
He turns back to the commander next to him. “Sorry, I think I gotta go.”
She grins. “Don’t worry, kid -- they both outrank me. I’ll see you tomorrow in the hanger, okay?”
“Yes, ma’am,” says Luke, smiling back. She’s been helping him learn the Rebellion attack patterns. Tomorrow she’s going to walk him through the hacked-together add-ons that unite the Rebellion fleet. “Thank you for your help.”
“Of course, kid,” she says. As she passes him to leave, she claps his shoulder.
He makes his way through the room. Leia and the woman are standing at a display screen, but neither of them are watching it -- Leia’s gotten distracted by her pad, and the woman still has her eyes on Luke.
He pauses a few feet away from them. “You called for me, ma’am?”
Leia puts down her pad as the woman and Luke look each other over. She’s wearing a white tunic, a gold chain draped over her shoulders. He doesn’t know who she is, but she stands like someone who’s used to having her orders followed. The way she’d summoned him from across the room would be enough of a clue, even if Luke’s mentor hadn’t mentioned rank.
Next to her, Leia is tense -- she’s looking at Luke, but her attention seems focused on the woman next to her. Instinctively, Luke’s shoulders straighten to match the set of Leia’s.
The woman bestows him with a smile. “Do you know who I am, Skywalker?”
“No, ma’am,” says Luke.
Leia’s gaze slides towards the display screen next to them.
“You’re the new pilot, aren’t you? The one who got the lucky shot on the Death Star.”
Luke winces. “It-- wasn’t lucky, ma’am,” he says, trying his best not to sound obnoxious. But the distinction is important. “It was the Force.”
“You and Leia must get along wonderfully,” she says, raising her eyebrows. But she smiles when she holds out her hand to shake. “I’m Mon Mothma. It’s good to meet you, Skywalker.”
Luke shoots a look at Leia, who gives him an apologetic shrug. He’d asked her to point out the generals so he didn’t make a fool of himself.
Then he takes Mothma’s hand. “It’s an honor to meet you, Senator,” he says. “You can just call me Luke. Everyone does.”
She has a gentle grip. “It’s not Senator anymore, Skywalker. The Emperor dissolved our legislative body just before the deployment of the Death Star.”
Something tightens in Leia’s face.
Luke refocuses on the woman in front of him. Senator Mon Mothma of Chandrila: former Senator, now. Served in both the Republic and Imperial Senates. Famed for her speeches on the Senate floor. And, as Luke has recently learned, leader of the Alliance Council.
Last stalwart of the Republic, now that the Organas have died.
Aunt Beru had liked watching Senate speeches -- especially the almost-seditious ones given by Senators Mothma and Organa. She’d compare them to the way liberators spoke to Hutts.
“Luke also rescued me from the Death Star,” says Leia. Her face softens, a little, as she looks at Luke. “He was the one who got my message to Obi-Wan.”
Mothma blinks, releasing his hand. “Obi-Wan Kenobi?”
“Yes, Senator,” says Luke. “He lived near me on Tatooine. He knew my father.”
“Your father,” says Mothma. “Of course.” She glances at Leia -- Luke bets Leia’s the one who told her. “Anakin Skywalker?”
“Yes,” he says. “He was killed by Darth Vader when I was very young. I was sent to live with my aunt and uncle.”
“Was he.” Mothma watches him for a moment, then says, “I met Anakin a few times on Coruscant. He was a good man -- I’m sorry for your loss.”
“--thank you,” says Luke. He hadn’t realized -- but his father being a Jedi means he must have done important things. Met important people, like Mon Mothma. And others.
He looks over at Leia. As if she can sense the direction his thoughts have gone, she’s gone back to studying the display next to them.
As far as Luke can tell, the display is showing a simple map of the planet they’re on. He turns back to Mothma. “Did you need something?”
“Yes, actually.” She folds her hands together. “I need you to take Leia to her quarters and make sure she gets some rest.”
Luke says, “Excuse me?” at the same time that Leia says, “What?”
They both look at each other, momentarily embarrassed. Then Leia turns back to Mothma. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not,” corrects Mothma. “It’s been a week, and in that time, I haven’t seen you leave this command center.” She pauses, something about her getting more gentle. “I know you want to help, Leia. And I know you’re an adult. But you’re no use dead on your feet.”
Leia glares at Mothma, who placidly meets her gaze. Even after only a week, Luke knows Leia would rather die than admit weakness -- but he also knows that Mothma has spent nineteen years waging war with the Emperor in his own Senate.
Leia crosses her arms. “I’m staying.”
Mothma doesn’t say anything, but Luke can feel the tension of the room rising. He’s the first one who breaks.
“Leia, it’s late,” he says. It isn’t very hard to push aside his nerves when he’s focusing on his exhaustion. “Let’s go, okay? Han’s probably going to finish today’s repairs on the Falcon soon. If we stay, you might run into him.”
And the whole base knows how much you want to do that.
Leia turns her scowl on him like she knows what he’s thinking -- but she also takes his olive branch. “Fine,” she says. “Mon, we’ll keep going over this tomorrow?”
It ends like a question, even though Luke is pretty sure she didn’t mean it to. For all of Leia’s bravado, she’s still Luke’s age, and it’s been a week since she lost her entire planet. It’s easy to forget sometimes. Other times, it’s hard to see past it.
“Yes, we will,” says Mothma, gentle yet firm. “Goodnight, Leia.”
Mothma turns back to Luke -- there’s a moment of silence, stretching out, as she looks at him. Though they have very different relationships with her, both Luke and Leia stay as silent as they can.
Eventually: “It was nice to meet you, Skywalker,” says Mothma. She folds her hands in front of her, gives him a small smile. “I’m glad to have you with us.”
She turns away from them. It’s only when she’s out of the room that Luke and Leia both exhale, almost in unison.
Luke says, “She’s-- wow.”
Leia runs a hand over her forehead. “Yeah,” she says, tiredly. “She’s no joke.”
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the men and boys are innocent too.
we cry "the innocent women and children" to appeal to the masses, to try and force their sympathy, but the men and boys are innocent too.
I have seen sons crying out for their mothers, their fathers, their siblings. I have seen them break down at the loss of their families. I have seen them cling to their dead and grieve.
I have seen fathers cradle their dead children, seen them kiss their faces and hold their little hands. I have seen them faint with grief when asked to identify the dead. I have seen them carry their sons and daughters. I have seen them fasting to provide what little they can for their families.
I have seen men and boys digging through the rubble with just their bare hands, I have seen them comforting strangers, playing with children, rocking them, hushing them, even if the face of such imminent danger. I have seen them cry, seen them grieve, seen them break down into each other's arms, seen them be selfless, beyond selfless, becoming something I don't have a word for.
I have seen the men who are doctors refuse to leave their patients, even when they have no medicine or supplies to give them, even when they're threatened with bombings. I have seen fathers who have lost all their children pick orphans up into their arms and proclaim them their child so they are not alone. I have seen men and boys digging pets out of the rubble.
the men are innocent too. the men and boys are being hurt and killed too. the men and boys are grieving too. the men and boys are scared too. the men and boys are fighting to save their people too. the men and boys deserve to be fought for too.
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