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robininthelabyrinth · 11 months

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The Other Mountain - ao3 - Chapter 2

Pairing: Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan

Warning Tags on Ao3

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“Enough already,” Wen Ruohan groaned, and ignored with a twinge of irritation how Qing Yu, the man reporting to him, stiffened and looked pale as if he were convinced that he would imminently be dragged off to the Fire Palace.

As if Wen Ruohan would murder one of the top spies in his network simply because he was being boring.

He wasn’t actually insane, thank you, or at least not to that degree.

Appearing to be wildly unpredictable was often a tremendous advantage in dealing with his fellow sects, and even sometimes within his own sect, but genuine instability would be a disaster. Wen Ruohan’s sect was the most powerful by far of all the Great Sects, and he intended to keep it that way – or rather, he intended his power to grow until his Wen sect was as indominable as the sun in the sky and the other so-called “Great Sects” were mere shadows left in his wake.

Which was why he was torturing himself listening to spy reports on the other Great Sects to begin with, Wen Ruohan supposed, and suppressed a sigh. It was the sort of work that he couldn’t entrust to some subordinate, the whole business confidential in the extreme no matter what the content – the mere confirmation that he had spies in the other Great Sects, and that they were successfully obtaining information for him from them, was potentially explosive. But at the same time, the vast majority of the time the information he received was completely lacking in anything usable. Or even mildly interesting!

“I’m not interested in yet another rehashing of the Jiang sect’s internal issues,” he said, because he wasn’t. While it was true that Jiang Fengmian’s marriage troubles were potentially useful as a weak point, ripe for potential exploitation, they were not exactly new. “Tell me something more exciting.”

Qing Yu looked surprised by the question. “More – exciting, Sect Leader?”

Wen Ruohan groped around mentally for a moment for an example, having grown so bored that he couldn’t think of anything at first, and then smirked faintly as something came to him. “Yes. Tell me who’s going to be attending Lan Qiren’s classes this year.”

Now that would at least be interesting.

Wen Ruohan had never paid very much attention to Lan Qiren. Sure, as acting sect leader of the Lan, he headed one of the other main Great Sects and was therefore one of the targets of Wen Ruohan’s illicit information gathering, but the impression Wen Ruohan had gotten from their few interactions at discussion conferences accorded with the information his spies regularly reported concerning his activities at home: Lan Qiren was an unbearably dull human being.

In almost – and that was the critical word, almost – every respect.

Lan Qiren’s interests, insofar as he took time from his sect duties to indulge in them, appeared to be traditional to the point of cliché, consisting of music and study, both philosophy and the analysis of those ridiculous Lan sect rules. He had no notable romantic entanglements to his name, which was the usual way the Lan sect added interest to their lives, though Wen Ruohan supposed in fairness he wouldn’t have had much opportunity for it, having been entrusted with the responsibility of raising his two nephews and by all reports having characteristically taken it overly seriously. In fact, Lan Qiren barely seemed to have any friends, even within his own sect – a cousin or two he spoke to more often than others, perhaps, but little more. Probably he thought it was somehow inappropriate for someone in his position. He had a temper, on rare occasions, but often sought to suppress it: the man was really unbearably fussy about his sect’s rules, pretending and possibly even genuinely seeking to be faithful to them at all times. Even the inconvenient ones like Do not tell lies, which was just insane.

In short: a boring rule-bound prig with as much passion to him as a bowl of tepid milk.

In Wen Ruohan’s opinion, the Lan tended to come in two flavors, hideously boring and terrifyingly obsessed. He’d concluded that Lan Qiren was the former about an incense stick into their first discussion conference together, and as a result, he’d barely paid any attention to reports about him ever since.

That was why he’d almost missed it.

Only almost, which was why Wen Ruohan was the closest thing the cultivation world had to a god.

Not only was he older and more powerful than all the other cultivators, he also didn’t let himself get lulled into a false sense of security. He prided himself on being observant and cautious, albeit sometimes to the point that others called him paranoid. He kept track of everything that might at some point become a threat to his ambitions for the Wen sect. And even then, it had been years before he’d noticed what Lan Qiren was getting up to with that immensely clever little lecture series of his!

That was the “almost” of Lan Qiren, the exception to the rule of how dull he was.

Somehow, Lan Qiren had managed to convince other sects to send him their children to teach.

He’d offered up the Lan sect’s infamously rigid but spectacular education to sects who were nowhere near as well-equipped, and they’d started sending their children to him in droves, particularly once he got a reputation for being able to improve the unruliest of children. It was a little unusual for any sect to make such an offer or for other sects to accept it, given that most sects tended to be possessive and insular, but ultimately it was easy enough to disregard as little more than an extension of the Lan sect’s overweening pride in their scholarly prowess…and by easy to disregard, Wen Ruohan meant easy to overlook.

And overlook it he had: it wasn’t until a small and especially timid sect under Wen Ruohan’s own command had been paranoid enough to see fit to let him know that they were planning to send their own child there, just in case he might have some problem with it – the Pingliang Tang sect leader probably didn’t piss without confirming that it wouldn’t annoy Wen Ruohan – that Wen Ruohan had even realized the potential implications of what Lan Qiren was doing.

A teacher for a day, a father for a lifetime, the saying went, and by the time Wen Ruohan realized what was happening, Lan Qiren, inadvertent father to only nephews, had already seeded the entire cultivation world with students that had recognized him as their teacher. Younger sons, cousins, or branch family members – it might all seem like a lot of nothing, but if one mapped out where they were all from, it was immediately obvious that in another ten or twenty years, Lan Qiren would be able to call upon a vast network of connections, each one bound by their code of honor and cultivation orthodoxy to treat him with respect.

Each one of whom could, without effort, become the perfect spy that no one would ever suspect. Or even more than a spy – even an outright supporter, swaying their sect to follow Lan Qiren’s lead!

No one else had figured it out yet, much to Wen Ruohan’s amusement, not even the year before last when Lan Qiren had finagled Nie Mingjue to be one of his students, presumably trading on his friendship with the current Sect Leader Nie. The Nie sect’s very own sect heir, a Great Sect! That must have been a real coup for Lan Qiren. Not only had it made Lan Qiren’s classes fashionable, a mark of pride for parents who sent their children to them to brag about to each other, it meant that more and more sects were now willing to send their own sect heirs to him, giving him the chance to mold their young, impressionable minds into whatever shape he wished.

Sect heirs! Voluntarily bowing to someone in another sect! To the leader of another sect!

The mere idea of it was enough to make a prospective empire-builder like Wen Ruohan seethe with frustration and envy. No one would ever voluntarily entrust their children to him. If he wanted them, he’d have to force their parents to send them, resistant and rebellious, and it’d have to be outright indoctrination rather than teaching. Far less effective than Lan Qiren’s method.

It was all a stroke of genius, really.

A pity that Lan Qiren had almost certainly done it entirely by accident.

Really, it was almost appalling. How could someone so reserved and, well, boring as the acting head of the Lan sect, with his dull monotone voice and his tendency to talk at great length about exceedingly boring minutiae, have stumbled into such a clever scheme? It required an almost impossible mix of contrary and conflicting elements: the Lan sect’s brilliant reputation for morality and Lan Qiren’s own impeccable (if, again, incredibly boring) reputation as a stern moralist so rigid that suspecting him was essentially pointless, yes, but also persuasion skills sufficient to convince other sects to hand over their precious children, teaching skills sufficient to actually improve those children (presumably all the most troublesome ones their clans had produced, to boot) to such a degree that their parents noticed and appreciated it, sufficient dedication and patience to continue in such unfulfilling work for years and years while knowing that the harvest would not come for decades…

After he’d figured out what Lan Qiren was up to, Wen Ruohan had briefly wondered whether he’d misread the man’s personality. Maybe Lan Qiren was in fact hiding himself in plain sight, a snake in the grass, with all that dull long-windedness actually a deliberate persona designed to divert the attention away from what he was doing. Certainly some of those stupid little exceedingly boring bits of minutiae that he raised during the discussion conferences had ultimately turned out after several years to actually be quite beneficial to the Lan sect…

Unfortunately, that theory had only lasted until the next discussion conference. Lan Qiren was no schemer, Wen Ruohan would bet everything he knew about people on it.

So…fortuitous accident it must be.

It really was a pity. Wen Ruohan hadn’t needed to actually think about any of his fellow sect leaders in ages, most of them being exceptionally predictable, and one really did see it all after a certain point. It would have been rather fun to have a little mystery to slowly unravel, tugging lightly at each thread until he found the loose one that would undo the entire knot.

“Well?” he drawled, suddenly realizing that Qing Yu hadn’t actually answered his question, but had started hemming and hawing in an incredibly irritating sort of fashion instead. “Did you not obtain that information? If so, you’re far better off simply admitting to your failure up front, rather than making me wait…”

“Sect Leader, no!” Qing Yu cried out, his eyes going wide and a little white around the edges, spooked like a nervy overbred stallion. “The information was sought, of course, I would never fail the Sect Leader by letting down his expectations. But there simply wasn’t any to be obtained! As far as we can tell, there haven’t been any invitations sent out at all.”

Wen Ruohan frowned. “No invitations? Why not?”

The weather had already started to turn from winter back into spring. Whatever his other faults, Lan Qiren was invariably meticulous. In previous years, he had always settled all the details of who would be attending later that summer well before the first flowers bloomed, leaving him the entire spring to develop and revise his teaching plans.

A deviation from the norm was invariably worth paying attention to.

Qing Yu looked uncomfortable. “Sect Leader,” he said, “it is my belief that – ah – well, I think it is likely that there aren’t going to be any classes this year at all.”

Wen Ruohan’s eyebrows shot up.

“You may recall,” his spy said delicately, clearly reluctant to remind him lest Wen Ruohan take insult at the suggestion that he’d forgotten something, “the information I passed to you two months ago, about the change in power at the Lan sect…?”

“Yes, yes, Qingheng-jun coming back out of his wretched seclusion, I recall.”

Wen Ruohan hadn’t liked that news one bit. He had never been particularly impressed with the man – his memory of Qingheng-jun was a little less complimentary than that of many of his colleagues – but even he had to admit that Qingheng-jun had always been a talented cultivator.

Before he’d gone away into seclusion, Qingheng-jun had had a great deal of promise as a force to be reckoned with. With his good looks and aloof charms, not to mention his rapidly growing power, he had easily taken and maintained the top place on the cultivation world’s lists of most eligible and well-respected young masters. It was well known that the Lan sect treated him as their precious treasure and saw him as the future of their sect, and even outside his sect he’d been widely regarded as an especially promising young talent. For those like Wen Ruohan who thought of growing their own sect’s power, he had always been regarded as a potential threat.

Admittedly, Wen Ruohan hadn’t thought much of Qingheng-jun’s political sense during those brief few years that he had been in charge of the Lan sect, even accounting for the fact that he was a Lan, who were uniformly not especially good at such things. Rather, he had concluded that Qingheng-jun was at that time a little too arrogant given what he had to back it up – unlike Wen Ruohan himself, who was overweeningly arrogant but who had the personal and political power to justify it – and the years since had largely made him think that the Lan sect had probably traded up when they’d substituted Lan Qiren in instead. Lan Qiren might be boring, but he wasn’t reckless or overweening, and that counted for a surprisingly great deal when it came to politics.

Still, ten years of secluded cultivation wasn’t anything to sneer at, least of all from a man who’d already been a promising talent. As soon as he’d heard of the Qingheng-jun’s reemergence into the world, Wen Ruohan had sent his spies in the Lan sect to check that the other man hadn’t become too powerful, at least in comparison to himself. Upon being reassured that he hadn’t, he’d immediately stopped caring.

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked, frowning. “If Lan Qiren is no longer serving as acting sect leader, doesn’t that give him more time to devote to his little teaching experiment…? Or has he decided to pack up his guqin and take to the road as a wandering cultivator?”

The idea was a little ridiculous, though not actually out of the question. It was extremely common for young masters to set out on such a journey upon reaching adulthood, hoping to improve their cultivation and win fame and glory, and Lan Qiren was after all still in his twenties, or at minimum early thirties, even if he behaved so much like an old fogey that it was easy to forget it. Wen Ruohan had always instinctively classed him as the same age as his peers among the other Great Sects, but in actual fact Lan Qiren was younger than Jiang Fengmian, otherwise the youngest, by at least seven or eight years.

It was plausible, anyway. Still, Wen Ruohan couldn’t see it. Maybe after a year or two, once Qingheng-jun was firmly settled back into his new position as sect leader, but surely Qingheng-jun wouldn’t so readily give up the invaluable resource that was his younger brother’s ten years of experience…?

“No, Sect Leader, nothing like that,” Qing Yu said respectfully. “My sources in the Lan sect report that Second Master Lan has entered seclusion.”

Wen Ruohan blinked.

“No, that’s wrong,” he said, genuinely startled out of his usual apathy for the first time in – years. “Lan Qiren would never enter seclusion.”

That was something he was quite certain of.

Wen Ruohan might have been taken by surprise by the unexpected inventiveness of that teaching idea, but as a general matter, he still had eyes that he knew how to use. Lan Qiren had never once gone into secluded training in the entire ten years since his brother’s retreat from the world, not even temporarily, not even when the opportunity to utilize the most desirable spots for cultivation was offered for his use during the discussion conferences, as it was on occasion. Further, Lan Qiren hadn’t managed to completely eradicate his tendency to grimace whenever someone even mentioned seclusion, though over the years he’d gotten a little better at suppressing it.

In short, it was quite obvious that he regarded seclusion with the same suspicion as a man who had once bitten into a sour lemon thinking it was candy might regard all fruit.

It was quite a reasonable distaste, given what had happened with his elder brother’s own strict seclusion and the impact it had had on his own life. But that just made it all more unlikely that Lan Qiren had suddenly chosen to give up his beloved classes in favor of a lengthy seclusion. If he had, then Wen Ruohan had wholly misjudged him, and that was a far more serious matter than whatever the man was actually doing.

“The Sect Leader is wise and insightful, with unsurpassed judgment,” Qing Yu said, slavishly complimentary as ever. “Although I only have some whispers to rely upon, it is my understanding that the seclusion is not wholly voluntary on Second Master Lan’s part, but rather undertaken as some sort of penance.”

“Penance,” Wen Ruohan said, now even more bemused. “Lan Qiren.”

The Lan sect was inordinately fond of making all sorts of ridiculous rules, and of punishing themselves for breaking those rules, but – Lan Qiren?

Wen Ruohan was usually the first to believe in his fellow man’s capacity for treachery, which was not to be underestimated, but…still. Lan Qiren? He couldn’t see Lan Qiren having committed any sort of serious offense, let alone one that was sufficiently grievous to justify him being confined against his will. The man had once looked appalled and outraged when Jin Guangshan had casually suggested he wear something that would break a Lan sect rule against waist ornaments. How serious an infraction could he have possibly committed?

“What else do you know about it? I’ll accept rumor if you don’t have anything concrete,” he asked, finding to his amusement that he was fishing for gossip like some sort of fishmonger’s wife. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an exciting series of updates. Not even Qingheng-jun’s unexpected reemergence into the cultivation world had moved him this much.

“Rumor has it that it may have something to do with his brother, the now restored Sect Leader Lan,” Qing Yu reported. “There are those in the Cloud Recesses that say that they quarreled – even that they’ve grown to despise each other.”

Wen Ruohan arched his eyebrows and steepled his fingers together in front of his mouth.

Now that was news.

Rumor or no rumor, he’d never heard so much of a hint of it before. Lan Qiren had never said a bad word about his brother within Wen Ruohan’s presence, and the reports his spies had delivered to him indicated that he always dutifully reported to his brother’s door once every five days without fail, to update him about the events happening in the Lan sect. There had never been any hint of trouble there, and the vanishingly rare orders Qingheng-jun had issued from his seclusion, all in writing, had been implemented without the slightest hesitation. Wen Ruohan had never bothered looking into Lan Qiren’s history with his sect, assuming it to be every bit as dull as his present day, but perhaps that had been an oversight, if there was something like this lurking in there.

It seemed that Lan Qiren might have hidden depths after all.

Interesting indeed.

Though…perhaps what was most interesting was instead Wen Ruohan’s own reaction to the news.

Reflecting on the thoughts he’d just had, it was notable that he’d fixated on the part of the rumor focusing on Lan Qiren, rather than his brother. Under normal circumstances, Wen Ruohan really ought to have immediately assumed that the rumor was half-true and half-false, that the hatred was one-sided, that it was only Qingheng-jun who had a problem with Lan Qiren. It’d hardly be surprising if that were the case, really. The man had been in seclusion for ten years; it’d be strange if his mind wasn’t a little twisted after that, and of course any paranoid mind would suspect the person who’d sat in his seat for those ten long years of malicious motives, no matter how superficially innocent and loyal Lan Qiren might seem.

That was by far the more logical conclusion, and yet Wen Ruohan hadn’t gone there.

Instead, he’d immediately accepted what was, after all, only a rumor, and taken it as a complete truth. Was it simply that he was taken by the unlikely notion that Lan Qiren hated his brother in return?

It just seemed so…unlike the man.

Wen Ruohan had never seen a version of Lan Qiren that hated before.

The rare times the man had succumbed to his temper had already been interesting enough, and those instances had involved little more than distaste. How would genuine hatred look on him? Wen Ruohan found himself rather curious.

A thought then occurred to him.

“What about the two boys?” he asked. “Lan Qiren’s nephews. Isn’t he raising them? How could he go into seclusion and leave a duty like that unattended?”

“Yes, Sect Leader, your memory is correct, he was previously involved in the heirs’ upbringing. I believe that Sect Leader Lan has now resumed supervision over their education, as is his right as their father.”

“Father,” Wen Ruohan snorted. “Father indeed. If I recall correctly, Lan Qiren was serving as father and mother both to those children, what with the two of them in seclusion the way they were. Are you saying he’s no longer involved in raising the children? At all?”

“No, Sect Leader.”

Cutting off Lan Qiren’s access to his beloved nephews might be enough to make him hate someone, Wen Ruohan supposed, finding himself unexpectedly appalled by the news. It seemed like a terribly stupid thing to do, and he hadn’t thought that Qingheng-jun was that stupid.

Even if you were jealous of your brother who had (however unwillingly) usurped your authority in your absence, whether as sect leader or as father, even if you longed to have your children back at your side with their attention paid to you rather than to him, to tear apart a close family relationship like that was really a step too far. Even Wen Ruohan wouldn’t do such a thing lightly. He might be power-hungry and cruel, bloodthirsty and sadistic, he could admit all of that, but even he understood the foremost importance of family.

Even if he didn’t, Wen Ruohan wasn’t an idiot: to put a mere brotherly rivalry above sect unity and create internal strife before you had firmly gripped the reins of power once more was stupid to the extreme. Lan Qiren hadn’t been the most popular leader, but he’d still been leader for ten years, and people were creatures of habit – to immediately imprison him in seclusion would be seen as inauspicious, a bad omen. What ambitious man voluntarily brought a cloud like that upon himself when it was infinitely easier to avoid it by doing nothing?

Not to mention the impact on the children themselves! That alone would have been enough to stay Wen Ruohan’s own hand in such circumstances.

Oh, other men might believe that children of nine and six were too young to really remember much, but Wen Ruohan knew better. Take himself as an example: he was the cultivation world’s most ancient monster, having lived for a century or more, and by now the details of many of his older memories had begun to slip through his fingers like grains of sand, faces blurring and details forgotten…but the traumatic events of his own childhood were still shockingly easy to recall.

He’d been, what, six, seven years old when the Lan sect’s last war had started? Eight, perhaps? Certainly no more than that. But Wen Ruohan could still remember those days, when the smell of blood had sunk so deeply into him that he thought it had never really left him since. He could still recall with ease memories of walking through battlefields full of his slaughtered kin, his feet bleeding, his skin burning from the harsh glare of the sun, each and every one of his senses full of the stink of the humid forest, the filth and dirt of the earth. He could still recall how the faces of the Wen sect’s dead were twisted in agony and fear, filled with resentment, but those of the Lan bloodline were quiet and peaceful, as if they had been lulled to sleep with a lullaby…and they had been, an immensely poisonous one, their own sect leader having poured it into their ears long before the battle began to give them the strength of madmen, and the deaths of madmen, too.

Terrifying. Wen Ruohan had never really trusted a Lan since that day.

Wen Ruohan could recall the other lessons he’d learned back then, too. That bitter and bloody war had been the first time his brothers had betrayed him. It had been the first time he had realized that he could rely only upon himself in this world, himself and those who were so deeply dependent upon him that they could see no difference between his interests and theirs. He had grown cold and closed off and self-interested, rejecting all connections other than the ones he himself chose. It hadn’t been until years later, when he himself had inadvertently betrayed his own favorite younger brother, that he’d realized the perils of the path he had set himself on back then, and by then of course it was too late to regret…

Not that Wen Ruohan really regretted having had the last laugh, of course. After all, was he not here, still firmly seated upon the seat of the Wen sect leader a century later, and all those who had once betrayed him now dead and gone, forgotten by all but him?

Surely that must mean that everything had worked out for him, with no room for regret.

Still, the fact remained that the scars of childhood were oftentimes the most lasting, with Wen Ruohan’s own lingering wariness of the seemingly placid Lan sect itself something that could be seen as evidence of that. So if Qingheng-jun intended to use involuntary seclusion as a means to separate Lan Qiren from his sons and return their loyalties to himself, he was making a terrible mistake.

It wasn’t that the goal itself was so bad, really – Wen Ruohan might not be overly attached to his own sons, but he would swiftly murder anyone who tried to take his place with them – but rather the method.

The right way to do it would have been for Qingheng-jun to take advantage of his lengthy absence to re-introduce himself to his sons in a way that would let him sweep them off their feet. It wouldn’t even have been that hard! It wasn’t as if Qingheng-jun were without his good points. He had a reputation as an exceptional swordsman and an outstanding cultivator, of being polished and charming, and of course he was handsome in the way all the Lan main bloodline were, and being handsome was always an advantage.

They were only children. With just a little effort, he could very easily have overwhelmed them.

He could have filled the boys’ eyes with him until they couldn’t see anything else. He could have set himself out as something new and exciting and different, made himself all honey in comparison to their uncle’s strict discipline. Then, once he’d won their trust, it would have been easy enough to drip poison into their ears, easy enough to breed distrust and disdain and dislike of the uncle who had once raised them with love. They were only children. It wouldn’t have been hard at all to lead them by the nose until they’d turned away from Lan Qiren, thinking the entire time that they were acting through their own free will. It would take years for them to uncover the deceit, and by then it would be too late to regret.

Far too late.

In his time, Wen Ruohan had enacted similar plots before on people who weren’t even related to him. To do it to children of his own family would have been as easy as flipping over his hand.

But…this? This way? A forced rupture, a cruelly imposed separation?

It would do nothing but harden everyone’s feelings, solidify their positions. It would brand the boys’ love for Lan Qiren into their heads forever. Even if they never saw him again, they would forever remember the uncle that had faithfully cared for them in their youth, and they would resent their father for having so cruelly taken him away from them. Such a resentment might take years to ferment and grow, and it might never come to anything in the end, but at a minimum there was no way that such a move would aid Qingheng-jun in winning his sons over to his side rather than his brother’s.

It was stupid. Absolutely, colossally stupid.

…too stupid, perhaps?

Wen Ruohan was aware that his peers often jeered at him for being unduly paranoid, but he credited his suspicious instincts at least in part for his success in living as long as he had. Could there be something more to Qingheng-jun’s actions than what appeared on the surface? Or was it really just that seclusion had rotted away his brain?

Qing Yu tried to speak further, possibly to change the subject, but Wen Ruohan waved him silent. There was something in that thought, the feeling of having caught the right scent, of tracking down some hidden hint of truth that he needed to follow to its end lest someone manage to get something by him.

Wen Ruohan did not let people get things by him.

So: let him take as his premise that Qingheng-jun was, while not necessarily smart, at a minimum not completely foolish. His behavior towards his brother was not only malicious, but pointless and counterproductive. He had to have realized that what he was doing would only make his sons dislike him more, especially sons that had been up until now raised with Lan Qiren’s rigid adherence to morality, and yet he had decided to proceed regardless. What, then, could be his real goal? Even sadists like Wen Ruohan typically had a reason behind their cruelty…

Unless the cruelty was the point.

Now that was an interesting thought.

Let Wen Ruohan accept as a premise that Qingheng-jun disliked his brother, having formed a grudge against him, presumably for having enjoyed everything that rightfully belonged to him while he hid away from the world. It would be a foolish sort of grudge, of course, given that he’d voluntarily given it all up, but it was the sort of irrational grudge a petty sort of man might nevertheless foster. Then, taking the next step down that path, could he assume that Qingheng-jun was acting first and foremost on account of that grudge, rather than reason?

Could Qingheng-jun really have grown to hate his younger brother to such a degree that he wanted nothing more than for him to suffer, and knew that he would suffer all the more in his seclusion because he knew that his nephews would also be suffering through missing him?

Interesting indeed.

It certainly fit with what he remembered of Qingheng-jun. He’d been short-sighted, which at the time Wen Ruohan had largely ascribed to his youth, and he had been inclined to play favorites, a contrast to Lan Qiren’s scrupulous even-handedness thereafter. He’d been susceptible to flattery in a way that Wen Ruohan had noted down as a potential future weakness to exploit, the same way he did with Jin Guangshan, and he had been dreadfully petty, remembering grudges but never favors. He’d been young back then, yes, but ten years in seclusion would have calcified and enhanced those traits, not reduced or ameliorated them.

So yes, Qingheng-jun might not be stupid enough to behave in a way that was wholly contrary to his goals, but he might be just stupid enough to prioritize his grudge over other considerations. Even Wen Ruohan would make missteps when he allowed self-indulgence to overwhelm his political sense.

It fit – but not quite.

There was still something there that didn’t quite make sense.

Overall, the logic was sound. If the goal of Qingheng-jun’s actions was to punish Lan Qiren for the perceived slight of having been Sect Leader in Qingheng-jun’s absence – even though it was obvious enough to anyone with eyes that Lan Qiren hadn’t especially wanted to do it and would probably have been delighted to be quit of the role if only the person he was returning the position to was worthy of it – then it was quite reasonable to forcefully tear him away from his nephews as a means of hurting him.

(It was even a little exciting, in its own way. Wen Ruohan could quite reasonably claim to be the cultivation world’s most accomplished torturer, though admittedly one that preferred inflicting physical pain rather than emotional agony, and brutality of this level was piquant even to his long-jaded palate.)

On the other hand, there was surely no lasting joy or victory in such a necessarily temporary set-up.

After all, as long as Lan Qiren remained at the Cloud Recesses, his nephews would have access to him. There was no way around it. Even Qingheng-jun’s wife, who had lived in permanent solitude alongside him, had had some connection with the outside world, however limited. No matter how great the hatred between them – and Wen Ruohan had to remind himself that that hatred was just an assumption on his part – even so, Qingheng-jun couldn’t justify locking Lan Qiren away for good.

No, the Lan sect was the Lan sect in the end, with a reputation for righteousness that was not wholly hollow. They might, in their insularity and joy at the return of a much-beloved and much-missed hero, allow a miscarriage of justice, but it wouldn’t last. Qingheng-jun might be the Lan sect’s darling, a treasure that everyone had thought lost for good, and his reputation would undoubtedly only have benefited from never having to be measured against reality, everyone projecting their own prejudices and ambitions upon his blank slate. But in the end it was still the Lan sect, honorable and rule-bound. Even if Qingheng-jun was universally beloved and Lan Qiren not, which Wen Ruohan doubted, it would still be impossible to imprison him forever.

Lan Qiren would eventually go free. And once free, with the trauma of forced separation between them, his nephews would rush back to him and him to them, wouldn’t they? They would only be closer than ever before. All the suffering they had endured would be wholly eclipsed by the greatness of their joy…

That’s what didn’t work.

Wen Ruohan’s assumption, at the moment, was that Qingheng-jun was a cruel man. Wen Ruohan himself was a cruel man, had been a cruel man for years, and moreover he had been in the position of having felt himself deeply and truly wronged before. Like recognized like. No one knew better than he how a man like that thought – the things he might want, the things he might do.

There was no way that a Qingheng-jun who wanted to be rid of his brother would stop at just seclusion.

And in this situation, that meant…

“What are Qingheng-jun’s plans for Lan Qiren?” Wen Ruohan asked abruptly.

Qing Yu jumped a little. He was easily startled, though presumably paranoia and over-caution was a useful trait in a spy. “His plans, Sect Leader?”

“After the seclusion is complete,” he clarified, waving his hand dismissively. “I’m certain he has some. What do the rumors in the Cloud Recesses say?”

“Ah – Sect Leader – this one failed to anticipate your level of interest – I have not heard of Qingheng-jun having any plans for his younger brother at all –”

Of course. Wen Ruohan nodded sagaciously, realizing that he’d raised the question the wrong way around. Someone as vain as he recalled Qingheng-jun being would never allow others to suspect that he was acting purely out of malice, as that might call his reputation as a perfect gentleman into question.

No, whatever he was going to do to Lan Qiren next would have to be appear to be spontaneous.

The key phrase being, appear to be.

“Tell me then of what the rumors are regarding Lan Qiren’s own plans for the future, once his seclusion has ended,” Wen Ruohan requested. It was unlikely that someone as transparently sincere as Lan Qiren actually had any such plans, which meant that any rumors that existed were probably being spurred on by Qingheng-jun instead. It was the sort of thing Wen Ruohan had seen plenty of in the Lan sect when it had been under the former Sect Leader Lan, their father, and that was the environment Qingheng-jun would have grown up in, much more so than Lan Qiren given the difference in their ages. “There must be something that people are saying, never mind their stupid rule against gossip. If someone is saying something, I wish to hear about it. No matter how outlandish.”

“Sect Leader, this humble one apologizes – I have failed to live up to your expectations – I will go out and seek out an answer at once –”

Wen Ruohan probed a few more times in a few more ways, but without success.

After a while, he gave a faint sigh and lifted his hand again to stop Qing Yu’s endless apologies.

“Enough already,” he said. “I understand already, you have nothing more to say. You’re dismissed…ah, as you go, send in Wang Liu, will you?”

He waited until Qing Yu’s dutiful second-in-command had been summoned and Qing Yu was fully gone before speaking again.

“You are in luck,” he told Wang Liu mildly. “You have an opportunity for advancement.”

The man’s eyes widened – in surprise, yes, but Wen Ruohan could see the light of ambition kindling in his gaze as well.

“It seems that your predecessor is a spy for one of the other sects.” Wen Ruohan smiled at Wang Liu’s obvious shock. “No, don’t deny it. I’m certain you had your suspicions and were keeping them to yourself for the moment, looking for a chance to capitalize on them? No proof, I assume?”

Wang Liu jerked his head in a nod, then bowed deeply.

“The Sect Leader’s wisdom greatly exceeds my own,” he said respectfully. “It has been my belief for some time that Master Qing reported first to Lanling Jin before you. Uncovering a spy in a single conversation…! The Sect Leader is far better at judging men than I could ever dream to be! He never slipped up enough around me for me to confirm anything, and he has always been triply cautious when speaking to you.”

Wen Ruohan snorted. “Stop it with the compliments,” he said dryly. “There’s a difference between respect and blatant flattery, and the latter is an insult to my intelligence. There’s news like this out there and he drones on for half a shichen about Yu Ziyuan’s latest fit of jealousy? He’s either incompetent or a traitor, and I forgive neither.”

It wasn’t worth it to force the answer out of Qing Yu directly, though Wen Ruohan had no doubt he could do so. Why bother? There were far more enjoyable ways to go about it – and indeed, a piece of paper and a flick of his hand sent word to the soldiers that waited outside his door, and they headed off to escort his previous guest down to the Fire Palace. He and Qing Yu could have a much longer, more fruitful, and far more enjoyable conversation down there.

Well, enjoyable for Wen Ruohan, anyway.

Maybe he really would let it get out that he’d done it because the man had bored him. There was value in having the appearance of instability, after all…

“Do you know of any rumors in the Lan sect regarding Lan Qiren’s future plans?” he asked his new top spy for Gusu. “I presume you get the same reports as Qing Yu. There must be something that someone is saying.”

Presumably mindful of the fate of his predecessor, Wang Liu gave the matter some serious thought.

“Nothing concrete or believable, Sect Leader,” he finally said. “Even the most persistent rumor I heard was little more than chattering among the Lan women that now that Lan Qiren was free of the burdens of sect leadership, he might finally go ahead and get married.”

That actually got a real, genuine bark of laughter out of Wen Ruohan.

“Lan Qiren,” he said, unable to contain his glee. “Lan Qiren, married? Can you imagine? The poor woman!”

Wang Liu couldn’t conceal an answering smirk of his own.

“Just imagine it,” Wen Ruohan continued, doing just that, his laughter getting stronger rather than fading. “Listening to him drone on and on about those awful Lan sect rules day and night! It’s probably his idea of convivial dinner table conversation – ah, no, the Lan sect has a rule against speaking while eating, doesn’t it? So it’d be sitting in silence instead, and then the rules would come out –”

Lao Nie, the current Sect Leader Nie, had once told Wen Ruohan that he’d gotten Lan Qiren drunk in some sort of experiment, and that the other man had apparently gone on a full-shichen rant about some arcane nuance of some rule developed four generations earlier. If that was what the man was like when he was drunk, Wen Ruohan couldn’t even imagine the misery of being married to him while he was sober.

He supposed there was the possibility that it might not be quite as bad as he was making it out to be: Lan Qiren was a Lan, in the end. That family had once been infamous for their mad hearts, even the most placid and boring of them a potential minefield – it was really their one bout of unorthodoxy, the way they honored their ancestor’s ceaseless devotion to a single dao companion, for whom they would do anything. Would it be possible for Lan Qiren to change everything about who he was once he’d fallen in love…?

Of course, that assumed he’d marry for love.

Still chuckling, Wen Ruohan dismissed Wang Liu and headed down towards his Fire Palace to entertain himself. He found, to his surprise, that he couldn’t quite get the thought out of his mind. Though perhaps that was understandable: it was a compelling notion! The Lan sect might prefer to marry for love, but they were as deeply mired in the muck of politics as everyone else. While they refrained from arranging betrothals in childhood to allow for the possibility of their disciples falling in love and ruining everything, they were more willing to be practical when it came to older ones, and Lan Qiren must be around thirty by now. It wouldn’t be implausible for him to want to get married…

Or at least agree to it, anyway. After all, Qingheng-jun was new to the scene, coming back to take charge of his sect after ten years of absence; he would need to make some big moves to establish his authority. It would only be beneficial to him if he could arrange some sort of alliance on the basis of Lan Qiren’s marriage, establishing himself as a figure to be reckoned with both internally and in the wider cultivation world, and it would probably tickle his fancy to utilize a brother he despised to do it.

Maybe that really was what Qingheng-jun was planning.

It would even be rather clever, really. A few months of seclusion to remove Lan Qiren from power, then shackling him down with some woman of Qingheng-jun’s selection – and Lan Qiren was a valuable matrimonial prize, as such things went, capable of winning all sorts of benefits for the Lan sect.

Brother of a sect leader, years of service and experience as sect leader himself…the sect that married their daughter to Lan Qiren would probably even think that they’d be getting a direct line to Qingheng-jun – of course, they’d be wrong, if Qingheng-jun really did dislike his brother, but that was the sort of thing an outsider wouldn’t know unless they had access to the types of spies Wen Ruohan had – and also all of those valuable connections Lan Qiren would have spent years building with the other sect leaders. What wouldn’t they trade for such an immense advantage? Qingheng-jun could have his pick of the world!

Of course, such a solution still left the long-term problem.

Wen Ruohan just couldn’t see someone as upright and devoted as Lan Qiren turning away from his nephews simply because he’d married and had his own children. The man’s personality just didn’t seem to be that type, not at all. He was too bull-headedly loyal, too devoted, too true…well, perhaps Qingheng-jun simply didn’t know him well enough. He’d been gone for ten years, after all.

Lan Qiren, a married man with a wife of his own at home, Wen Ruohan thought to himself once more, and shook his head. For some reason, the amusement that he’d initially had at the ridiculousness of the thought had faded away, leaving only a strange sense of dissatisfaction. I just can’t see it.

I can’t see it at all.

#mdzs #wen ruohan #lan qiren #qingheng-jun #my fic #my fics #megafic

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baticeer-sims · 11 months

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I'd like to hear your soap box about romantic standards! I use ACR at the moment but reading that "unpopular opinions" post got me curious about other options 👀

Hiya! Thanks for asking. I absolutely love Romantic Standards, I could NOT play without it these days. I used to use ACR in the past though, so I tried to make a balanced list of the pros and cons for me. But then it got REALLY LOOOONG because I'm a wordy person sorry, so it's under a cut.

The quick TLDR of it is - I feel like ACR creates romantic chaos that's often unpleasant/nonsensical to me, while I feel like RS creates romantic drama that makes sense and also allows for a lot of variety in how different sims will feel about their relationships.

By the way, I use Midgethetree's edited version of RS because it's modular (you can pick which parts you want) and the documentation is way easier to understand lol. If you have any trouble with mod conflicts or with getting RS set up the way you like, feel free to ask me about it and I can help you out with what exact files you need.

The full soapbox under the cut!!

One thing I want to say is I think a lot of people have been playing with ACR for so long that they don't know what their game will be like without it? And they underestimate how much autonomous romantic interaction will still happen between sims. A key here is that sims can't autonomously interact romantically unless they have compatible gender preferences, and townies or CAS sims always start with 0 preference, so a vanilla hood without ACR will feel low on the random flirtations unless you use something like the Sim Blender (or similar) to randomize everyone's gender preferences! (And ACR gives out random gender preferences automatically, so you might install ACR, see a lot of people interacting romantically for the first time, and assume you can't get that without ACR when all you needed was the gender preference setting, yknow?) But I can assure you that with ACR removed, my sims are definitely still getting into plenty of unexpected romantic entanglements and exciting drama.

To my mind, these are the biggest features of Romantic Standards that I just can't get with ACR:

Random chance of crush/love status: I could never play without this now. As you probably already know, normally two sims automatically get a crush or love when they interact romantically with 70+ shortterm or longterm relationship respectively. It's kinda predictable and boring to me. RS, specifically the "slower feelings" file, makes it so that crush/love flags are added randomly with the chance being based on the sims' chemistry with each other. This also allows for some amazing Drama Potential where you could have 2 sims interacting and one is completely in love with the other but the other has no feelings for them at all! It's otherwise impossible to do that. This makes crush/love flags actually feel meaningful to me, like they represent real human feelings, instead of just being able to know that if I decide one day to smooch my best friend they're guaranteed to fall in love with me.

Simple jealousy system that makes sense: I could never get my head around ACR's jealousy system to make it work the way I wanted. I felt like sims would have their token values changed even when I set them to be static, and stuff like that, and it just was so complicated to figure out what values I wanted... OTOH, this is how jealousy works in Romantic Standards: If a sim is in love or in a committed relationship (steady/engaged/married), and they see their love/partner interact with someone else romantically, they get mad about it! Unless you put a "no jealousy" trait in their inventory (then they won't get jealous over anyone) OR if they also have crush/love flags for that 3rd sim (this, allows for you to have polyamorous relationships). I find that easy to understand and to work well for a majority of situations. There's also an option where they won't get jealous over love, only committed relationships -- but I prefer the also-in-love version because it combines really well with the previous point about crush/love being randomized! You can frequently get situations where A is in love with B but B only has a crush, so B will be willingly flirting with other people and A might get their heart broken over it because they thought this was serious... It really generates a lot of interesting storylines.

Sims don't cheat on their partners if I don't want them to: I know ACR is supposed to have settings that will make sims stay faithful, but I was unable to get it to work consistently, and I feel like I've often heard other people say things too like "I didn't want this sim to cheat but 🤷 ACR just did that". With RS, if a sim is in a committed relationship they can never do autonomous romantic interactions with someone else unless 1) they're Romance aspiration or 2) they already have crush/love for that other sim. You can of course still direct sims to cheat if you think it makes sense, but I don't have to worry about anyone's marriage falling apart if I want them to stay together. (Also, you can override this for specific sims by giving romance sims a "hopeless romantic" trait, or non-romance sims a "commitment issues" trait.)

Midge's version of RS is modular so almost all of the stuff I listed above is separate if you only want part of it.

On the other hand! Here are the things that ACR does that I've missed or that you might miss:

Autonomous woohoo and try for baby: Your sims won't woohoo on their own anymore. I found that I didn't really mind this? The woohoo timer in ACR feels kind of mechanical to me, and a lot of times they'd be starting to do it in situations that were really inappropriate (like other people are in the room and they're stripping naked on the sofa at 9am). And I don't mind the lack of try for baby either because I prefer to decide when my sims have a baby based on if they roll a want for it, or if it just happens from risky woohoo. I've noticed that simler90's original version of RS has an optional plugin that allows for autonomous woohoo but I don't know if it works with Midge's edited RS. I haven't tried it yet bc I don't mind not having auto woohoo. If anyone has, let me know.

Can't woohoo on the sofa and can't woohoo in one menu-click: My god it's so much easier to be able to click "casual...woohoo" than relax on bed, ask other sim to join, wait for them to get there, cuddle, then woohoo. Something to note is that there is a "stripped down" version of ACR which only retains the Casual Woohoo interactions and was made to be compatible with Romantic Standards. However in my experience (and that of a few other people I've talked to) the jealousy aspect of this so-called compatibility... still doesn't quite work correctly? So the "casual woohoo" option, if you have stripped-ACR, I think it will still go off of ACR-jealousy (which is impossible for me to understand lol), instead of RS-jealousy like everything else in the game? It can definitely cause situations with jealousy reactions that aren't working how they're supposed to. So um... the crazy thing that I do, personally, is keep that stripped down ACR in my game but with all the autonomy completely disabled in global overrides, at which point it is doing literally nothing other than letting me tell them to casual woohoo if I want them to woohoo on the sofa. And I just make sure to never use that option in a situation where jealousy is a possible concern, in order to avoid the issue where it doesn't work correctly. It's kind of overly complicated a thing to do just to get sofa woohoo but I'm just saying it's an option 😂

No autonomous First Kiss: This is it! The one thing I truly do miss from ACR and would really love if someone made a mod for it one day! I love when my sims do stuff autonomously and surprise me. But First Kiss is a non-autonomous action, and what's more, sims can't roll the want to "Kiss so-and-so" if they haven't already had a first kiss, so I find it kind of hard to decide when my sims will have their first kiss. I'm always like, why can't you do it for me!

The other major difference is that the "Casual" romantic interactions from ACR have lower thresholds for acceptance than the default Maxis interactions. I personally don't see this as a positive because... well... I've been playing this game for so long, I kind of know how to get sims together at this point, I really don't need to make it even easier 😅 I'd rather have RS making it a little harder for sims to fall in love. I use a lot of other mods for other aspects of the game that make it harder overall because it's more fun for me.

Also! So, I was going to give you a list of other romance-related mods that I use in my game along with RS, but then I realized I could be lazy and just give you a link to my friend @alice-in-strangetown's mods list, because she & I have pretty similar taste in how we like romance to work in this game and I use basically all the same romance mods as her :P because I started using RS after finding out about it from watching her TS2 livestreams.

If you want to try RS on a neighborhood that has ACR but you're not sure if you'd like the playstyle, I recommend temporarily replacing it with the "stripped down" ACR version (and disabling autonomy), because that way your sims will keep their ACR tokens if you decide you don't like RS and want to switch back to using ACR. Of course, it's technically possible to have both of them at the same time, but the key thing about ACR is that all of the "Casual" interactions in it are completely separate from the vanilla maxis interactions so mods that affect default maxis interactions or maxis jealousy (like RS does) won't interface with ACR interactions and vice versa.

I hope all of this was helpful, and that maybe it convinced you to give Romantic Standards a try! Like I said, if you need any help getting it set up I can give you advice or a more detailed guide on how to install it (I think the documentation's pretty straightforward tho).

#I... don't know how to tag this #mod guide #??#the sims 2 #ts2

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mikki-does-simp · 2 years

Text

cliché & sappy romances - mha students : “I love you.”

just little blurbs of a moment that is akin to a regular romantic cliche with the star phrase “I love you”! also sort of turned into my celebration of 20 posts on this blog

characters: Izuku Midoriya, Tsuyu Asui, Denki Kaminari, Togaru Kamakiri, Reiko Yanagi

warnings: mild mentions of mutilation (not human) for Tsuyu Asui, gn!reader (tried to make it as personality/non-specific-characteristic inclusive), established relationships, other than that none, me being mad at inconsistent quality of photos and literally none for the characters that i’m looking for-

Reiko Yanagi - “If actions are worth a thousand words, then why isn’t everything communicated with just that? The meaning of... ‘I love you’ is... simple, but powerful.” :

Reiko was not sure if she believed that a single action could be worth one thousand words. After all, she was quite the expert on words, her almost lyrical musings of language being so complex and filled with her thought that not everyone could even translate or understand it. She sort of accepted this fact, and she still enjoyed what she could do with her skill and expertise. She even often went to the internet to find content she could enjoy, and shared her own ideas through these words- so, how was something like body movement that has a wildly different interpretation from person to person be ‘better’?

She was scrolling through her phone, leaning on you just as much as you were leaning on her in the little spot you both had on the couch. You were absorbed in your own little thing as well, being totally okay with that perfect, comfortable, mutual silence. Sometimes, no words can make a difference, since over-explaining can diminish meaning of words. Peace. Relaxation. Comfort. Joy. Love. These were words that could accurately describe the feeling in the room. Yet, in some way; Yanagi knew they were incomplete. Though, she could probably find more complex adjectives for show. Tranquility. Quietude. Jubilation, Intimacy. Well, those were a little cut above; I mean.

You both continued this silence, not really feeling interested in having conversation. Not in a bad way, but exhaustion of one’s brain is definitely a very real thing, and if conversation was to be truly meaningful, they needed to be working properly to do so. So, Reiko continues her scrolling on her feed to find the latest horror news, and you continue with your own little task just next to her, enjoying the physical closeness and mutual fondness of being able to stay attached to the hip like this despite not being interested in talking. Though, you were beginning to feel a little drowsier than when this interaction first started, so you lean in a little closer to Reiko’s shoulders to nestle yourself in. She finds it cute, so she adjusts herself to let you stay.

It doesn’t take more than three minutes stat to have you falling asleep, and Reiko didn’t even notice for the next five that you were actually fully unconscious on her shoulder like that- oh dear- maybe she could use her quirk to pick you up and set you to bed?- Though, that also was a little risky... After much deliberation, she decides to just leave you in that position... after all, you ought to wake up soon- fortunately, she was wrong, and after maybe around an hour, she was shocked with the realization that, you were so comfortable around her that you were one hundred percent willing to let your guard down completely with her in your presence. It actually... said a lot to her. Whoa. With that, she also took the move to move in closer, brushing her head against your forehead and lightly kissing it, just in private to herself; before eventually finding herself waking up entangled in your arms, just as you are hers; on the couch.

Togaru Kamakiri - “Despite all that... you’re TOO important to just give up on. That would be a damn tragedy. . . Love ‘ya.” :

Kamakiri thought he would be safe from falling. Now, in both senses; he has unmatched reflexes and reaction times, almost known for his quick clutches and speedy reactions. Then again, that also held significance in a figurative sense as well. He never fell behind in terms of anything in life, seizing opportunity, having a blast of a time, his training akin to his dream of becoming a pro hero and saving lives, and even his academics (he wasn’t the best per-say, but he was far from the worst of the lot) and most importantly, he never thought he would fall for someone. Ironic to his quirk, not even the sharpest blade or even cannon could take the walls he lifted up to protect himself emotionally- or, so he thought, unfortunately.

A few months ago, if he traveled to the future and saw himself in... this situation, he would have laughed. so. hard. and then probably threw up out of shock right after. Togaru in a cafe, despite hating to go out to eat because of the cost of food, despite hating the fact that he was sitting outside of the cafe on the tables there instead of inside, where it was a lot cooler and he would get stared at just a little less: and finally, despite the fact that he was going steady with you of all people for just about half a year now. You and him, on a date in the city. It almost felt it was just the two of you existing with no one else in the entire world, someone special that finally made a little puzzle piece in his brain go... click! A truly rooted connection; one that was unexpected; but with time, was welcomed with closed but still willing arms.

Someone like you, who never ridiculed him for the way he dressed or looked or talked; someone who was considerate of everyone in their own way and kind, but was hardly a pushover or someone actively seeking constant protection. Quite the contrary, actually. One of the first traits he noticed and actively admired was your strength, in your own special way. He was snapped out of these thoughts when the bell of door did a little jingle, and the waiter finally coming out with the food you two had ordered. For you, a downsized version of a matcha pound cake, in all it’s green glory and almond glaze. For Kamakiri, a simple coffee jelly and a little bit of cream. They weren’t terribly over-expensive, but they were most definitely worth the cost. Simply delicious. He admits that, at first; he was a little cold to those he met, but he wasn’t heartless or even all that quote en quote ‘mean’. Kamakiri is a hype-man, someone who is a lot friendlier than at first glance. It wasn’t really all that much of a surprise that he was willing to go despite what it may have seemed like.

He watches as you take a bite of the matcha cake, clearly enjoying it and savoring it; he himself taking delight in your joyed expression- (he wouldn’t admit that, not just yet) although, maybe it was a little bit of a surprise when mid sentence, you started devouring the cake just because it was so utterly tasty. Eventually you come to a pause, needing to catch your breath- but oh my, Togaru is definitely trying and failing not to laugh at you the absurdity. Not in a mean spirited way, though. He notices that there is a few crumbs stuck to some almond glaze on the corner of your mouth, and without really thinking much about it, he leans over to brush it off with his thumb. There is a long- quite awkward pause, his face starting to heat up from his neck and even a little bit of his shoulders upward, finding himself at a loss of words. Now that was rare of him. You catch the tip of his thumb in your mouth, not wanting to miss the opportunity of more- just one bit- and may the lord or whatever the hell was watching him from some place above praise Togaru’s own special strength, or he might have just passed out from sheer embarrassment. Despite all that, deep down, he knew he was sure enough to proclaim and acknowledged the love you two shared.

Tsuyu Asui - “I don’t know if anyone else would believe me but... i can say with confidence that I know I love you. There is no other way to truly word it.” :

The more time spent with another person, the more you tend to get quite comfortable with them. You become unafraid of the unsure. The foul. The utterly disgusting, along with the beauty behind it. Just behind you, Tsuyu pops out of the water after being under for a couple minutes. You grin, pushing aside the heavy reeds of the horribly muddy marsh and waddling through to meet her in the middle. She stands up to her full height instead of crouching and walking under the water like some innocent kiddo impersonating a classic evil Disney villain, then turning her head off to a certain direction. You aren’t even surprised at all when she asks you to join her in looking at a couple carcasses of animals she spotted on the other side of the marsh while checking it out. Tsu was always quite blunt and insanely honest, something that came with the double edged sword, but to you, it just added to a plethora of traits that just made you like her even moreso.

It takes about three minutes of pushing through the public marsh until you spot them, nose wrinkling at the foul smell; but your brain piquing with curiosity. You finally reach the spot with her, and eventually identify the mass of rotting flesh. It was a crane, half eaten at it’s body and face almost torn off all the way, probably from some sort of preadator… you both stand there in silence for a minute, and you look to Asui, unsure of what to do. Then, Tsuyu unabashedly picks up the carcass (don’t worry though, she has gloves on) and starts moving to her left, being pretty sure that you would follow. She announces that she was going to have a proper burial for a crane, since even the cycle of life ashamed them for not being fully eaten.

Despite being in total shock, you still follow your girlfriend; off to somewhere a little sturdier where you two could dig a sort of grave. The work is started, the crane being put aside as at first, the dryer patch of land was dug out; then the hauling of the rock to be used for the gravestone, and for an extra touch, native flowers used to decorate the area. The actual burial is a little slower, taking more care of the carcass; and Tsu giving an impromptu speech about how life was precious and that paying respects to every creature was vital to a good life. The burial is finished a little sooner than you would have expected, though; ending with a moment of silence as the two of you sit on your knees next to the grave of the crane.

Asui throws another curveball, after you two were walking back to get on the main road. Yes, she was very blunt and honest; but she had never said “I love you” in your few happy months of dating until right now, the arguably least romantic situation (burying a dead crane carcass) ever seen. You’re tempted to ask about it, but Tsu beats you to it, explaining that she was now 100% sure that she loved you, and that of course, because of her nature; she wouldn’t just say something like that for the sake of it. She didn’t plan to regret it anytime soon, if not ever. Though, she seemed to understand whether or not you could say the same. Love had to grow from square one, but it was also boundless. No limits of all life, the good; evil, ugly, charming, whimsical parts of it.

Denki Kaminari - “Eh, there’s no need for that grandiose display, all i want is you! I love you, maybe even a lot more than you think I do!” :

It was no secret Kaminari was quite a lively guy. He was a social butterfly, aiming to be a top hero on top of that. He loved music, games, and all the other things that a guy like him would be expected to enjoy. I mean, he was absolutely as jolting and wild as electricity itself, living up to his name and persona. With you, even when you just started dating, it was no different. Always super affectionate (and trying his best not to overstep your boundaries, but not being perfect every time), showing you off to his friends; much to your pleasure/embarrassment, and displays of pride and affection that were just about borderline cringe if you squinted hard enough. Though, you never blamed him for it, just his way of showing his admiration and care for you.

Despite that, at some points; you felt sort of... uneasy just letting him do all the pulling in terms of these displays. Although you weren’t as... much as he was with this, you thought that it would at least give some justice if you tried pulling off the same feats. Eventually, you started your planning, and Kaminari; although he is a little bit of a dunce, he wasn’t stupid; and could see you had something... suspicious planned. This unfolded over the course of a couple weeks, but as much as he whined and begged you to spill at least something about it, you wouldn’t budge. The day of the surprise came quickly, and you were about to blow. his. mind. I mean, in your head; it was practically perfect! Just needed to finish that preparation and pick a perfect day to put on the show…

Though, after all is said and done, though; he almost looks... confused. Very happy, but confused. It was the first sort of attempt at something like this, but in his personal opinion, it seemed a little forced on your end. Although he was ever grateful for what you did, and knew the genuine heart behind it, damn if he didn’t imagine what strain it put on you. Kaminari confronts you about this in a lower tone than normal, and although that first; it was hard to pry out and manage the words, you confess your failed recreation of a heartfelt display of affection to a lackluster over-the-top declaration, unlike him. If the mood was any more serious, he might have laughed and tried to cheer you up, but deep down; he knew he had to try his best to keep serious, since this was something important he couldn’t let just pass by and resurface in a serious, more problematic type way. That night ended with more than a couple of hugs and kisses, and comfortable silence knowing that although actions were also pretty good, Denki intended to keep and make good use of his word. Not many things beat the gesture or uttering of such a phrase…. ‘I love you’.

Izuku Midoriya - “I love them, and there isn’t anything stopping me from doing just that! I’m not a pushover with this, either; not anymore!” :

“Love” is such a simple word, but with the changing weight of a claymore sword and ballpoint pen, the changing density of a puddle akin to an ocean. Ever since getting into his first relationship, Midoriya found himself deep in thought about the implications of said feeling from time to time. Though, it was evidently clear that no logic could amount to the bubbling and raw feelings inside of him when it came to you. Not even a hundred notebooks filled to the brim on information could even make a dent. You appreciated him for who he was, and all the subscriptions of antics that came with it. Perfectly canny match, even; strength and sensitivity, mutuality and bonding. Though, there were some that seemed to think otherwise.

You were devastated when you found out, even. Someone you trusted? with many things, someone you confide in. They wouldn’t say anything to him directly, but if they got a moments noticed, there were some quite hurtful comments they opinionated about annoyance with behavior and weakness on Midoriyas end. I mean, although you could sort of see why someone might think of that… you were torn, for fucks sake! You enjoyed both of them, but the growing guilt inside you was getting almost too much to bear. When it finally boiled down, Midoriya didn’t even seem to fight back against it… the situation ended in ice, with no one triumphant, but a heavy feeling in the entirety of the situation.

Eventually, you decided to try to just put it away, after all; you probably weren’t going to get over it otherwise, but Midoriya brings it up before he goes to bed for the night, saying that he wouldn’t be able to sleep without talking about it to you. The conversation is utterly dragged on into the depths of your soul, and it was just as much painful as it was relieving to have this talk about what had happened with the trusted friend. Near the end where you are both too tired to continue emotionally and literally, Midoriya leans in to embrace you into a warm and long hug, firmly embracing you as he mutters the little nothings about you that he enjoys so much, and about how much he loves you, by extension. Eventually, you two have to pull away before you fall asleep right while standing in the warmth, and bade each-other good night, your mind a lot clearer being reminded of a simple fact. Love was a weight worth holding, especially for him.

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becauseplot · 1 year

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Sherlock: “Romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for some—”

John: “—Would complete you as a human being.”

Sherlock:

#bbc sherlock #the physical damage I take every time I remember this argument exists in canon #Ough season 4 my beloathed <3 #at least they hug??

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suckerpunch-wrestlinggirls · 1 year

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SUCKER PUCNCH [Wrestling Girls Vol. I]

Avid Queer Reader rated it ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I have a prejudice about indie authors, especially new ones I've never heard about, so I only read this book because it was recommended to me from a friend who got an ARC of it. As per usual, I was ready to enjoy it but get to the end feeling unsatisfied because of how picky my taste in Romance, especially queer Romance, is. I was happily proved wrong.

It took a few chapters to get into the heart of the story, but when I finally got to it... I was sucked in completely. Pam, the protagonist, is an unexpectedly enjoyable character: very human, very believable, exceptionally genuine. She was the first Millennial girl representantion I could truly relate to: despite being almost 30, she's a teen at heart, bubbly and fun and comfortable in her ordinary looks, even though sometimes life makes her wish she were prettier. We've all been there.

Before getting to Lea, the other main character, I'd like to mention that the Found Family trope is truly the core of this story: The Beatcave, before a wrestling night club, is a nest of queer disasters. you'll love them all, I promise, because none of these characters is treated like a sidekick: they all have their own soul, their own personality, and with just a few lines you just find yourself growing fond of them like they are fond of each other.

Enter Lea, who's a famous and very beautiful influencer from LA who's just returned to London for her (arsehole) father's funeral. Let me be honest: I hated Lea, AKA AJ Kass, as soon as she was introduced: hot, popular, mysterious... I got very bad vibes from her from her first appearance. I was ready for yet another disappointment, but I told myself to keep reading, since this book was so strongly recommended. Thank fuck I didn't give up, because reading on I found myself entangled in the softness of the feelings blossoming between the two protagonists. And the true Lea actually started surfacing from beneath the influencer disguise, revealing herself for the cute, fragile softie she is inside.

I don't want to spoil more, but one thing I want to say: there is plenty of love between the lines of this book. Romantic love, platonic love, familial love, unrequited love (or is it?)... It doesn't hurt that basically 90% of the characters are queer, either.

All in all, a bit of editing wouldn't hurt in some parts of the book, some cuts here and there would make the reading more fluid, but it's so minor you won't even care.

I hope I can get my hands on an ARC of Pretty Devils now, because the epilogue of this first volume left me craving for more and the squel sounds very promising. We'll se if the author can satisfy my high expectantions after this first brilliant installment.

#sapphic romance #sapphic books #wlw romance #sapphic romance books #lgbt romance #sapphic novel #wlw books #kayla faber #lgbt books #sucker punch #wrestling girls series #wlw book #wlw lit #sapphic lit #queer lit

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wonderloste · 2 years

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Despite him walking up to get his attention, Travis spends a few beats in silence, before letting out a frustrated groan and signing just the one word. ☛ Thimble. ☚ - @ aleister ofc

& RE : o’ my blasphemous angel / @galaxiasus.

HE IS , AS ONE MIGHT EXPECT , FAR MORE PATIENT THAN appearances would let on, although Alice had been the one to summon him here in the first place. He is always content to check ‘pon the small gardens and rivers that surround this cottage, so he doesn’t mind. Whenever Travis is in a mood that requires himself to build up his own courage for something, Aleister is more than able to keep himself busy, occupied by thoughts of creation, nature : perhaps even an inkling that, in truth, is he should likely move him out of this forest and take him back to his domain with him, or at least teach him to reach it ... but alas. He senses he’s ready before the thoughts are ever able to develop and in doing so, his attention is ever turned to the hume, wings stretching behind him as he turns to meet his gaze. It’s ... almost a little funny, how determined he seems, when he walks to him. It makes the deity’s lips quirk, amused, but he dares not speak it. He would not deign to falter the fragile boldness he had spent the last ten minutes preparing himself for.

Still, he waits, staring down at him with patient expectancy. He is shortly met with what he wants : an answer for what has kept the gears turning in this human’s head through the stretch of silence between them. To his credit, he does not laugh at him, though the smile that readily grows on the Jabberwock’s lips is both unexpected and uncharacteristic of one so oft void of emotion entirely. His tongue wets his lips, the bottom being pulled between his teeth for a moment as it’s clear he holds back something. Ah, so that is what it had been.

He wishes for a thimble.

☛ Has that been what you were pondering? ☚ He is so mercifully straightforward, even when it would be so painfully easy to pick fun at him. But he is nothing if not compliant, even still. He reaches out to grab the other man’s hands, raising them to his lips so that he may place a chaste kiss ‘pon both their palms. He knows that is not what he’d meant, but it gives him ease of pulling him closer, tugging him just enough that he is capable of leaning down to meet him, rest of the way. He takes both hands in one, then, and holds them against his chest, forehead resting now ‘gainst the others. ☛ Your prayer, my command. ☚ He signs slowly with his free hand before his palm cups Travis’s jaw.

His smile fades, similarly to the green within his eyes as the color shifts to pink. He is not so awkward as he had been, inexperienced as he may be, shy as he may feel. He understands now, he thinks : these silly little gestures that make one’s chest feel tight and their hearts flutter, as romantics oft wrote in their novels. He still has a great deal to learn, perhaps, but he does not need anyone to tell him why he closes the rest of the space between them to press his lips to Alice’s own, nor why the hume would ask it of him to begin with. Acts of love, mortals so passionately called them. Travis himself had said as much.

He moves his hand from jaw to the back of his neck, allowing his fingers to entangle in the strands enough that he can pull him closer, deepening that kiss if only for a moment. He feels the other’s hands pulling at him, as well, perhaps clinging to him in a way that he already had done so emotionally : he does not mind it. He holds him there, content to lose himself to that moment, until he feels he is forced to release him. In doing so, he presses an additional kiss to his forehead. Curiously, they don’t untangle completely. Travis’s hand still holds loosely to the side of his cloak and, in turn, one of Aleister’s hands remains on his shoulder, palm cradling his neck.

☛ Sweet angel. ☚

#hate these bitches <4 #galaxiasus #◟ ❥ travis + aleister : i can't help but want oceans to part‚ because i'm overcome in this war of hearts. › galaxiasus.#ʚ o. in character ɞ ⁄ you’ll lose your mind wandering for hours‚ may even decide to start talking to flowers.#ʚ c. jabberwock ɞ ⁄ stroke of luck or gift from god‚ by the hands of fate or devil’s claws.

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sonnywortziks · 5 days

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Romantic Entanglement While Fulfilling For Other People Would Complete You As A Human Being

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sarah-dipitous · 6 months

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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 330

The Lying Detective

“The Lying Detective”

Plot Description: Sherlock goes up against the powerful and seemingly unassailable Culverton Smith - a man with a very dark secret indeed.

Oh. Is John’s therapist the secret Holmes sister??

Ayo fuck John. I mean, at least he knows leaving his daughter with friends is shitty behavior, though, i GUESS

Right. He WAS the Dream Lord, and now he’s gonna alter the memories of his closest friends to forget wherever he’s about to tell them

His daughter was the one writing down all the info he was telling them? Fair

I almost thought he imagined the daughter…actually that remains to be seen. We know how Sherlock can be

Why are we constantly intersplicing commercials for Dream Lord??

I know Sherlock is guessing romantic relationship but what if the daughter still lives at home???

“Everything’s about Sherlock” well, it IS his show, so….

Omg IS he imagining the Dream Lord’s daughter?? You can really tell I haven’t watched these episodes since they aired

Oh wait…is the “daughter” his sister?? I just vaguely remember this bit being important like that. They want me to believe she was imaginary, but I’m pretty sure the woman Sherlock walked around London with all night wasn’t the daughter of Culverton Smith, it was his sister

Oh, cool, Smith is a serial killer, apparently

Omg this is just really bad tv. I miss seasons one and two…

SHE (Mrs Hudson) PUT SHERLOCK IN THE TRUNK OF HER CAR AND SPED OVER TO JOHN’S?!

“I don’t know anything anymore” same, John. I don’t care that or how Sherlock can predict the future, and I’m very uninterested in the melodrama of Sherlock’s drug usage

Thing is, of course Sherlock will end up being right because it’s his show…but because we’re closing in on the worst episode, there will be consequences

Why is Smith asking everyone how long they’ve worked for him??

I bet she’s not gonna look anything like the woman who Sherlock met. Well, she looks SOMEWHAT like her

Eugh, this actor is really good at the kinds of characters he plays but I don’t like those characters

This isn’t even remotely interesting to watch. Did I find this episode THIS bad when it aired??

Why are they so mad at Mycroft? He’s literally trying to figure out what the fuck is going on with Sherlock, too. Don’t call him a reptile, Mrs Hudson. He DOES care even if he has a stupid way of showing it

Eugh…he went down this path where he was basically given weeks to live so John would save him so he could keep a promise to a video of John’s dead wife to save John

The “daughter” wasn’t imaginary, Sherlock. She was your sister

How did I manage to move and make a small grunting noise just a second before Sherlock’s text notification (specifically the one Irene Adler recorded for him) went off?

The amatonormativity happening “romantic entanglement, while fulfilling for other people—“ “will complete you as a human being” Are starting and ending this episode with a “fuck you, John”?? I get you’re grieving but that doesn’t mean that Sherlock has to get into a relationship

God, I almost forgot about the emotional cheating John did. Fuck you, John

The Mary in John’s head is a lot nicer to him than I would have been

People, stop trying to fuck the Holmes brothers. They’re unfuckable (not derogatory)

I think the only somewhat clever part about the reveal of the secret sister is that John believed it was a secret brother and in the pilot Sherlock had guessed John’s sibling Harry was his brother…but Harry is short for Harriette. And this is my reasoning for there to never ever be another season of this show ever again

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

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the-mortifying-ordeal-of · 1 year

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Hella rough draft

I no longer want to be in a formal, traditional, continuous big-R Relationship. We have been through a lot together, and it seems to me that there is more to fix and heal than there is to build upon. I do not know how to be in a healthy relationship with you right now. I have learned so much from being with you; you have saved my life in many ways. At the same time, I need to continue to grow and I feel stuck and ineffective in our relationship. I do not regret any of our time together and I'm so grateful for all the love, hope, and memories we've shared. I am at a point where I need to be alone to better understand who I am, what I need, and what I have to offer. Trying to remain partially available to you is unfair to both of us. I have limited capacity to show up for you in the way you need, and the ambiguity and distance have only made things worse. I would love to continue to be in each other's lives, but I cannot remain committed to our current relationship. There is too much hurt, misunderstanding, and confusion. I need complete independence in order to find out where I end and other people begin; I've tried to find boundaries in our relationship through distance and I've only added more pain and disorientation. I love you, I want the best for us, and I would love to still have you in my life. I just can't be your life partner right now - I need to be my own person. We met at a very strange time in both of our lives and I need a fresh start to see who I am now, without the lens of a partner's needs or preferences. I can't do anything more within the relationship we have right now and I don't have enough within me to give to you - my bucket has holes and is very empty. You deserve more, and I need time and solitude to figure myself out. I don't know how much time I need, who I am becoming, or what comes next for me, but I know I don't want you to wait for me or contort your own life to accommodate me. I've become entangled in the safety net of our relationship and I feel like we're both trapped by it, more so than we benefit. Maybe I'm mistaken, and maybe I have huge blind spots or character defects that I won't recognize until months or years from now, but I know I do not have anything more to give right now and I want more for both of us. I'm scared that by removing myself from our romantic relationship that I'll lose you as a wonderful human in my life, and I understand if you don't want or can't have me in your life with this new change, but I just want you to take up as much space in your life as possible. I'm hoping that by being separate, there is more room for each of us to take up more space without infringing on the other. I love us both enough to want us to be happy and free and stable in our own skin. We've grown so much together, but I need the next stage of my life to be growing on my own.

Edits made 2/6/23

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serpenteve · 3 years

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why we ship darklina

an essay literally no one asked for

Nobody needs a "reason" to ship Darklina. But considering this is a villain x hero pairing, it got me thinking about why we shipped it in the first place when the narrative and author so badly wanted us to root for the more sensible alternative pairing and why it became the most popular ship of the entire trilogy.

Personally, I find it really interesting (and low-key hilarious) that a lot of the reasons shippers gravitated towards Darklina can be directly traced back to how badly Bardugo bungled Alina's character arc, Mal's entire characterization and narrative role, Nikolai's wasted potential as an alternative love interest, and the noble intentions she gives the the Darkling.

Alina's Character Arc

Alina's character arc doesn't match who she is as a character. I've written more about that in this post, but a lot of readers were introduced to a passive and insecure protagonist who we were expecting to undergo a typical YA coming-of-age character arc where Alina acquires self-acceptance, confidence, and embraces the full breadth of her powers over the course of the trilogy. Instead, Bardugo gave Alina the kind of character arc that's usually deserved for power-hungry anti-heroines or tragic heroes with a fatal flaw to punish.

The plot offers a strange binary: either Alina suppresses and hides her powers and therefore stays away from descending into villainy OR Alina attempts to find Morozova's amplifiers in order to defeat the Darkling but then becomes corrupted by power in the process. Alina's journey to self-acceptance and exploring her own powers are unfortunately entangled with her relationship with the Darkling. The only way she is allowed to move forward through the plot is to succumb to the corrupting influence of the amplifiers.

For better or for worse, the first character to really embrace her powers instead of thinking she's a fraud or that she's weak or that she's an unholy abomination is the Darkling. He's the first person to recognize her power for what it is and accurately judge its potential and implications for the rest of the world. He advocates for her in front of the royal court, in front other Grisha who think she's weak, and even against Baghra who is initially a very ill-tempered mentor with little to no faith in Alina's abilities. He even rather ironically advocates for her even when the heroic person who's supposed to be supporting her (Mal) does not.

At the start of her journey, Alina is insecure and in constant need of assurance and validation. The Darkling's role as her mentor and guide into this unfamiliar world of Grisha makes him the perfect advocate not only for her powers but also to help Alina see her place in the world. However, once he is revealed to be the villain, Alina also fails to realize that it's time for her to advocate for herself and throws the baby out with the bathwater.

Mal's Characterization & Narrative Role

When Alina loses the Darkling as an advocate in S&B, Mal steps up to take this role. Alina is still rather passive for the majority of the first book and it's Mal who originally wants her to have Morozova's stag as an amplifier if it will mean being able to stand against the Darkling. Bardugo intended for him to be a heroic love interest as a foil to the villainous love interest and I believe she mostly succeeds for the first book.

However, because this is a story about punishing Alina's "evil ambition" (despite there being very little evidence of that) Mal is supposed to serve as a voice of reason in the narrative. Once Alina considers the necessity of acquiring more amplifiers to defeat the Darkling, it is Mal's role to warn her of the potential consequences, to remind her of her inner humanity, and to ward against the corrupting influence of Morozova's amplifiers. Mal's declarations that he wants back the old girl he knew without any power is meant to drive an ideological wedge between them, yes, but he's also meant to be Correct™ because, again, Bardugo is writing a story about a corrupted power-hungry heroine who goes too far and needs to be punished rather than the arc we were all expecting and the one that Alina's character needs: a coming-of-age story of self-acceptance and personal growth.

Some point after the backlash of Siege & Storm, Bardugo seems to have become aware of her mistake and attempts to scrub Mal's character to be more sympathetic. There is a bizarre exchange half-way through the third book when Mal finally declares:

"I wasn't afraid of you, Alina. I was afraid of losing you. The girl you were becoming didn't need me anymore, but she's who you were always meant to be."

This is an interesting line because it's a complete reversal of Mal's narrative role so far. He's supposed to be her voice of reason that opposes her at every turn but readers interpreted him as being resentful of Alina's powers and angry that she was no longer dependent on him. Bardugo is forced to retcon Mal's entire role in the narrative from being a voice of reason that opposes Alina's quest for power to a supportive friend who will fight by her side. But this was never her initial intention and I believe this change was brought on 100% by audience reaction because she failed to understand the arc her heroine needed and the kind of story her audience was anticipating for such a character.

Needless to say, having your heroine's main love interest actively resent her quest for power until half-way through the third damn book did not endear many readers to Mal. Because Bardugo failed to understand the kind of character development her heroine needed and failed to understand audience expectations, we hated Mal. He became the embodiment of every toxic chauvinist we'd ever met who can't stand the idea of his partner's success and feels entitled to be the center of her universe. He was not the voice of reason. He was an annoying gnat hellbent on dragging the heroine down and away from her destiny. We did not want to root for him. Even the villain was more sympathetic than him because he could bring her closer to achieving the self-acceptance the narrative was obsessed with denying her.

Nikolai's Wasted Potential as a Solid Love Interest

Nikolai plays several roles in Alina's journey but most importantly in our discussions for why we ended up shipping Darklina, his entire potential as a serious love interest is wasted.

When we meet Nikolai, we have hitched our wagons to the Darklina train because despite being the villain, the Darkling is the only one who will allow the heroine to accept her powers and come into her own. Her heroic love interest, Mal, is actively sabotaging her efforts and holding her back from her true potential. But then, in swoops Nikolai and we pause, wondering if there may be a better heroic alternative after all?

In a lot of ways, Nikolai and the Darkling alike: they are eager for Alina's power and see her as a solution to all their problems. They may want to use Alina to prop up their own agendas, but unlike Mal, Alina's summoning powers are a massive plus, not a burden. Nikolai is the heroic alternative to our villainous Aleksander. So we wait, wondering if Nikolai will be the one to fix this mess of a romantic subplot. His royal connections offer an easy path to upwards mobility for our heroine and we sense that an alliance between them (even if it's initially political in nature) may bring our heroine closer to obtaining more power, influence, and self-acceptance not only for herself, but also for the oppressed minority she is a part of.

But, again, Bardugo is still obsessed with that "punish the heroine for wanting power" agenda so while Nikolai exists as another mentor figure who offers Alina advice on how to rule, how to appeal to other people, how to charm, how to win people over, and Alina learns and applies much of what she learns from him, he is not treated as a real love interest.

Despite Nikolai being written as a fairy tale prince (handsome, charming, smart as a whip, brave in battle, etc) Alina never actually considers him romantically. They are friends and allies at best and the only time she considers kissing him is only when she's pissed about Mal.

Nikolai's proposal at the end of Ruin & Rising feels like one last saving grace, one last opportunity for our heroine to take control of her life and make a dramatic change to break from the past. But this too is rejected because Alina's arc will never let her access any power. She does not reject Nikolai because she wants to marry for love. She rejects him because she has been "punished" for wanting power and has internalized that she must not seek any more power for fear of angering the plot gods (and Bardugo). She must return to being nobody in order to remain a good and moral person.

(And, of course, we resent Mal even more because who in their right mind would choose him over Nikolai? Once again, he becomes a roadblock on our heroine's journey to power. We grow irritated that the heroine is failing to grasp an opportunity to elevate herself. We throw the book against the wall. Why are we even following this heroine?)

The Darkling's Motivations

Still, all of the above might still not have been enough to pull the reader to the villain's side. But the Darkling is the living embodiment of Villain Has A Point™. He is not pure unadulterated evil. He is not Lord Sauron or Voldemort or the Terminator.

He's more Magneto, Roy Batty, or Ozymandias---a man who is part of an oppressed minority who longs for justice and power but is absolutely unhinged in his methods.

Alina runs away because she does not want to be a non-consenting weapon in hands. But we always end up wondering what would have happened had Baghra not warned her. What would have happened if Alina gladly joined the Darkling's side? There's hundreds of fanfics written precisely about this situation because despite the villainy of his methods, we wonder if Ravka might not have been safer after all?

If the Darkling had used the Fold as a weapon against Fjerda and Shu Han, would any of the problems Ravka faces in the later books even exist? Would any Grisha fall victim to the khergud programs or be killed as witches? The Darkling wipes out Novokribirsk and kills hundreds of lives, but how many would he have saved with the Fold as Ravka's greatest shield and sword? 🤷🏽‍♀️

And therein lies the problem with the trilogy inconsistent moral landscape. The Darkling is an anti-villain that exists in a narrative that is very black and white, unlike the rest of the books in the Grishaverse where our protagonists are anti-heroes who kill, steal, and torture their way through the plot with nary a judgmental glance from the narrative. We long to see our heroine give in to her dark side and get her hands dirty because watching a naive, passive, scared little girl grow into a ruthless powerful Grisha would have made for a hell of a compelling story.

But that's not the story Bardugo wanted to tell.

The Greg Trilogy

Despite taking place in a fantasy Tsartist setting, the Grisha trilogy is oddly anti-Grisha. The narrative doesn't spend much time trying to examine the context or implications of an oppressed minority group fighting for power other than to say "magic powers = evil". Nikolai skates by on a throne of inherited wealth, privilege, and imperialism but it's okay because he's charming and witty and the only monstrous part of him is the Darkling's curse. Literally everything is worse for Ravka and their Grisha after the destruction of the Fold but Ravka must move forward into a new age without relying on Grisha power but putting their efforts into new muggle technologies. Alina must be stripped of her powers and returned to her "old self" in order to be purged of evil.

Basically, it's all one gigantic ✨ dumpster fire ✨ of mismatched character arcs, incompatible moral aesops, inconsistent characterizations, wasted potential, unexamined plot points but it's a a dumpster fire we lovingly and spitefully embrace in fanfic.

We don't ship Alina with the Darkling because we're stupid abuse apologists who somehow missed the giant flashing moral aesop of the books---and honestly, who could have possibly missed them when it's shoved in the reader's face every other chapter? We ship Alina with the Darkling because the entire ship is the embodiment of wasted potential (and wasted ✨aesthetics✨ tbqh 👀). We ship Alina with the Darkling because we're sick and tired of stories where female power is demonized. We ship Alina with the Darkling because the plot gave us literally no other alternative to see our heroine succeed except to give in to her alleged villainy.

But most of all, people ship Darklina because Leigh Bardugo utterly failed in writing the story she intended to write because had she succeeded, Darklina would not be the most popular ship of the trilogy.

#darklina #sab meta #grisha meta #grisha discourse #wow im embarrassed by how fucking long this is #but you know i had to write it #anti leigh bardugo #its not really anti so much as it is just pointing out why her story flopped for a lot of readers #alarkling #viv metas

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vvienne · 3 years

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RANWAN FIC RECS

Absolute Zero by jitterati

Pathologically solitary academic Chu Wanning left behind a life of research to enlist with the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps Jaeger team when giant monsters began to emerge from the Pacific ocean, eager to leave his personal entanglements behind him and join humanity's collective battle against the threat of extinction.

His goal is to build an artificial intelligence that will allow a pilot to operate a Jaeger mech solo - eliminating the need for pilot compatibility and the mortifying ordeal of being totally known by another person, a "neurological handshake" known colloquially as the drift.

He didn't expect his former students to follow him all the way to front line of the war against the kaiju.

Featuring lots of side character interaction, pining, yearning, questions on the nature of personhood, friendship between jerks, people coping badly with loss, snarky AI, and giant robots. Illustrations by Saika & Daru

Husky and his White Kitten Disciple by JustAMoon123

Within a lonely heart, the seeds of hatred start to grow.

-A 2ha Age and Role-Reversal AU.-

NOTE: This Story is Now E Rated!

[Before meeting Chu Wanning, Mo Ran had drawn his power exclusively from the Wood side of his dual Spiritual Root, and his Qi had always glowed green.

Now, only when in battle did it do so, with Bugui’s blade encased in a tyrannical green light.

Outside of battle, like when he set barriers of warmth; or made Crystal Butterflies to tease golden flowers; or cast a small array to keep a box of food warm, his Qi manifested with a gentle red glow.

Mo Ran’s Wood was destructive, while his Fire was protective.

Ah, Mo Weiyu, Mo Weiyu. Even your power betrays you.]

Burn, Pine, and Perish by moonqueenmaia

It’s been two days since Taxian-Jun’s last visit, and Mo Ran hasn’t touched Chu Wanning at all, beyond gentle and fleeting caresses. Chu Wanning decides to take matters into his own hands by surprising Mo Ran when he comes back to their home after a trip down the mountain.

it's no coincidence (it's a kitty-incidence) by lanzhan (gothguk)

There’s a white cat lounging in the middle of Mo Ran's bed.

to touch you with bare hands (even if it burns) by moonqueenmaia

Chu Wanning is a renowned professor of mechanical engineering at Sisheng Peak University. Beautiful, lonely, and talented beyond belief, he has spent his 32 years mostly by himself, silently and secretly yearning for affection and companionship. Yet Chu Wanning has resolved to himself that he will spend the rest of his life alone, no matter his hidden fantasies.

Enter Taxian-jun, an unruly, arrogant, and struggling student, fiery and domineering, who comes in and shatters the calm of Chu Wanning's life. They enter into an agreement, both burying their feelings underneath a storm of lust and lies. Yet amidst it all, something deeper may be helplessly and slowly blooming.

It is up to them to cultivate it, or destroy it for good.

cursed by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning and his disciples are sent to investigate an abandoned village, and Chu Wanning is hit with a curse.

Mo Ran was determined to treat his shizun respectfully in this life, but what choice does he have?

liar liar cock on fire by lofikv

I (32M) walked in on my roommate (23M) masturbating in our living room. Ever since then I couldn't erase the image of his penis in my mind but I found a sex toy online that is almost as big as him, so I bought it and tried it on myself so that I can imagine how he would feel inside me. I have also been romantically attracted to him ever since we started living together. How can I cope with this?

UPDATE: He caught me in the middle of an emergency.

(Absolute) Unit 311 by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning doesn't have a soulmark.

Neither does Mo Ran.

ducks entering highway by Sectionladvivi

Mo Ran finds out his well-respected, MILF-coded, tears-of-angels-tight-ass robotics professor moonlights as an erotic novelist. He immediately leverages this knowledge for an opportunity to play tonsil hockey.

to yearn by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning starts to cough up flowers. Taxian-Jun is angry. Chu Wanning is not allowed to die pining for someone else.

When it starts happening again in his second life, Mo Ran knows enough to worry.

from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom by Wildehack (tyleet)

Taxian Jun is the victim of a flower curse.

sticky fingers by fakeplasticlily

The man tosses the towel unceremoniously back at Mo Ran’s chest, like he’s personally offended by it. And the fact that his hands had just been all over said chest barely minutes earlier, maybe. “Please pack a box of egg tarts with extra custard filling, a box of red bean paste buns with extra syrup, a rice pudding with extra candied fruit garnish, and a box of osmanthus cakes with extra sweet pear jam.” Mo Ran’s eyes grow progressively wider as he lists the items. It’s him. Not the suburban mother of four, not the elderly guy dealing with a midlife crisis, but quite possibly the hottest guy he’s ever seen. Who also happens to have the highest sugar tolerance Mo Ran has seen in a human being in his two years of running this bakery.

Hard to Love The Lonely Night by bloodsongs

Chu Wanning glares up at him, adjusting his women’s robes. “Still, why couldn’t you have been the wife instead?”

Coughing politely, Mo Ran looks to the side, avoiding his gaze. “Shizun’s skills with the illusion barrier far surpass this humble disciple’s, and, well…”

He doesn’t need to complete his sentence—it’s infuriating, but Mo Ran is now taller than him, broader than him, larger than him. Very much so. The young sapling he raised in Sisheng Peak is now a full-fledged tree, a man built like the mountains Chu Wanning has seen in his travels.

Chu Wanning and Mo Ran pretend to be a married couple visiting a small mountain town to investigate some suspicious disappearances. Mini Canon AU casefic. Contains spoilers up to Chapter 130 or so of the novel.

Purple Ink by jeejaschocolate

Chu Wanning is a robotics engineer who lives a life of isolation and loneliness, only partially due to his chronic illness. Eventually he gets so sick that he requires the help of a full-time medical assistant.

Of course, these days, all those jobs are given to CyberLife androids.

Chu Wanning resents the android they give him. From his fiery eyes to his long black hair, to his incomparable tenderness and consideration for Wanning’s feelings.

He resents him. All the way until he falls in love with him.

Fallen Flowers in Swallows' Nests by bloodsongs

You deserve better—I refuse to disrespect you ever again. I want to be better. I must be better.

But I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where Taxian-Jun ends and Mo-Zongshi begins.

I only know now that I cannot lie to myself: I want you so fiercely that I burn with it, I am consumed with the desire to make you mine and mine alone. To become one with you, feeling your fire twine with mine.

Or, Chu Wanning finds letters from Mo-Zongshi that were never shared with him.

These hitherto undiscovered letters cover a range of emotions that weren't present in the book he gifted his Shizun: contrition, yearning, and desire.

Counterpoint by senchafloat

Five years ago, Mo Ran was just a boy who loved playing piano—there were many things he didn't know. He didn't know how capricious and unforgiving the world of classical music could be. He didn't know just how lucky he was to have Chu Wanning as his teacher.

Five years later, Chu Wanning is now a renowned concert pianist, and Mo Ran is an upstart conducting student. When Chu Wanning shows up unannounced at his alma mater, Mo Ran has plenty of questions, along with a desire to prove his worth to his old teacher. But as it turns out, Chu Wanning isn't as invincible as he once seemed. As old secrets come up to the surface, the two of them are forced to reinvent the ways they'll make music together.

impatient to adore you by riverdanceeee

At some heartbreaking point in his life, Mo Ran accepted that Chu Wanning would never reciprocate his feelings, so he dealt with it as any other person would. He'd rid himself of his affection, respect their friendship, and learn to move on. But Mo Ran's affection runs too deep, and when any opportunity to spend time with Chu Wanning knocks on his door, he goes running to answer and accept. Even if it means he has to break up a potentially dangerous dog fighting ring.

To Bow Before A Willow Vine by bloodsongs

“I…” Mo Ran hadn’t thought that far. He shakes his head, lowering his head in deference, resting his forehead against Chu Wanning’s knuckles. "I'll do anything you want of me."

The silence stretches on for a beat too long.

"Anything?" Chu Wanning says eventually, tilting his head.

Written for 2Ha Week, Day 4: Reverse AU for the 0.5 timeline. When Chu Wanning storms Sisheng Peak and crowns himself the cultivation world's new emperor, Mo Ran trades his life for Xue Meng's. Contains spoilers for up to the end of the novel.

Call me by my name by rinsled05

When the man called Taxian-Jun arrives, years later, it’s the coming of a storm.

He sweeps into a dinner appointment between Chu Wanning and a client, clad in black, a smirk tugging at his mouth. Over the spark of irritation, Chu Wanning can’t help but admire his lean frame, the way his hair, cut rebelliously short, falls over smoldering, dark eyes. The way he towers over him, even when Chu Wanning rises to full height.

Chu Wanning’s heart races as Taxian-Jun leans in close, ignoring the shouts and gasps around them.

“Sakaki of Ran,” he purrs in their native tongue. “You’re mine.”

Chu Wanning lifts his chin. “I don’t know you.”

“You will,” Taxian-Jun says, and leaves.

In which Chu Wanning is a courtesan serving Chinese merchants in Nagasaki, Japan, and Taxian-Jun decides to make him his.

荷官牌型 ♠️ The Croupier's Hand by bloodsongs

In deep financial straits after losing his job as a teacher, a desperate Chu Wanning becomes a croupier at Sisheng's new casino.

The once sleepy town of Sisheng Peak grows busier by the day as the casino draws more and more tourists to their mountains. Consumed by his lingering regrets over the worst mistake of his life that destroyed his teaching career, Chu Wanning is too distracted to worry about anything else but his next shift, his next paycheck.

Except that's when Mo Ran, the reason Chu Wanning lost everything, returns to Sisheng Peak.

As the heir to the casino.

White Rabbit Club by minkit

Desperate to rid himself of a few pesky things called virginity and desire, Chu Wanning waltzes into a world he knows little about and right into the embrace of a mysterious stranger who reminds him of the student he's been dreaming about all year. The lust fueled dreams his student stars in are the very reason Chu Wanning applied to the sex club in the first place, and now he's desperate to get rid of these filthy impulses once and for all.

Congratulations, Chu Wanning, on your acceptance into the White Rabbit Club. We hope you enjoy your stay.

Risk and Restraint by purloinedinpetrograd

There is nobody Mo Ran works with who does not love him. He’s worked hard to cultivate this image while he climbs the corporate ladder at Sisheng, and it’s paid off in dividends. He’s in every WeChat group. He can call in favors with any division of any department. He can make even the tightest of deadlines relax their stranglehold on his team.

That is, there is nobody except, of course, Chu Wanning.

A Lingering Sweetness by theherocomplex

Chu Wanning is now all too aware of what he looks like: a dry stick of a man, never handsome, angular and cold and pale. A drab, short-tempered creature, as appealing as a splinter in one's foot. But Mo Ran looks at him as if he will never get his fill, and part of Chu Wanning thinks, What if —?

At the end of the line by PearlAquaBlue

“So … I reckon someone thought you needed to loosen up a little bit. Now that you’re here, want to try it?”

Chu Wanning hangs up. Throws her phone on her pillow with a disgusted glare after it. Stands up and paces to the kitchen in long, angry strides. Her cheeks are burning. With trembling fingers, she grabs a glass and pours herself some water, gulping it down in one go. It doesn’t help much. She grips the kitchen counter tightly, then marches back into the bedroom to glare at the phone again. Her fingertips itch, and it’s as if some kind of magnetic force draws her closer and closer to her bed until her fingertips are but an inch away from that tempting black mirror. Before she knows it, she’s unlocked it unsteadily and pressed “repeat” on the last call.

“Welcome to Sisheng Peak – ”

“And what would that entail?” she asks, a little too breathless.

Let's Fall in Love for the Night by purloinedinpetrograd

Chu Wanning could only stare in horror as a large cloud of sickeningly yellow pollen rose from the field, blanketing the place where Mo Ran stood in a heavy fog. “Um,” he said lamely.

“Fuck,” Mo Ran cursed, and Chu Wanning didn’t even have the heart to chastise him for his coarse language, because he was too preoccupied wrestling the surge of fear at seeing his disciple disappear behind the haze of that indeterminately threatening dust.

A million terrible possibilities raced through his mind, each one more dramatic and gruesome than the last. His heart hammered against his ribcage, threatening to crack the bones. “Mo Ran,” he said slowly, “I think you should tell me what that does, now.”

Xue Zhengyong sends Chu Wanning and Mo Ran on a mission to find a specific ingredient for some concoction of his wife’s. Chu Wanning is torn between rejoicing at the chance to spend time alone with Mo Ran... and grieving over the very same thing.

But, well, it’s just flowers. What could go wrong, right? (Spoiler alert: it’s sex pollen.)

the day dawns in your hues by localshabba

2ha Week 2020 Day 1 prompt - Haitang

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Schoolteacher Mo Ran is having an ordinary day until he has an awkward encounter with the notoriously rigid school librarian, which leads to the start of something new.

Also features: flowers, dinosaurs and lots of tenderness and pining.

helping hands by verity

When Mo Ran was but a young, innocent, virtuous grad student—well, one of those things—she built that couch from a flatpack box with her own two hands. Over the years, the smell of polyester and cheap foam padding has given way to an equally aromatic blend of Chu Wanning's haitang blossom perfume, spilled coffee, and white lithium grease. Chu Wanning herself is always perfectly dressed without a stain in sight. Even right now, her head tucked onto one folded arm, the other loosely gripping her tablet, she looks so formal.

Mo Ran gently rests a hand on Chu Wanning's socked ankle where it peeks out of those tailored white trousers. She really should behave herself.

She really should... behave herself...

in plain sight by localshabba

Written for a prompt fill in the 2ha Kink Meme.

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"I have a surprise," Mo Ran breathed, coming to stand so close behind him that his breath landed on Chu Wanning's nape. Not touching Chu Wanning any other way, because he likes to make Chu Wanning lean back just a little bit, to seek out that contact himself.

"I think Chu-laoshi will enjoy it."

Chu Wanning is sure he agreed to the whole idea; he's just unclear on when. Things got hazy around the point when Mo Ran turned him around by the shoulders, got down on his knees and...well. Apparently he'd skipped breakfast that morning.

When he returned to his senses, his clothes were all neatly tucked into place, not a stain on them, and a charmingly pink sexual aid was nestled comfortably up his--ahem, inside him.

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Now available in Spanish!

casually acquainted by tagteamme

Chu Wanning knows what he is and what he isn’t. And where he lacks in pleasantries and outward appeal, he makes up for in untouchable grace and dignity.

It threatens to unravel once he meets a familiar face in an unfamiliar city.

“So quick to run away from me, Chu-laoshi,” Mo Ran says, voice gently teasing as Chu Wanning refuses to make eye contact with him. “After you came all the way from…”

He trails off, waiting for Chu Wanning to let him know, but he sees the map open on Chu Wanning’s phone and grins wider. “You want directions?”

Chu Wanning clears his throat, and shakes his head. He should say something— instead, he stays silent as he looks down at his phone and punches in the hotel name again.

Happily, his phone tells him to try again when he has signal.

The Right Hand of Light by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)

Chu Wanning is asleep on the bed, clutching his hands tightly to his chest and curled in on himself. He’s still wearing the same robes he was in in the water prison. On the writing desk, a bowl of water and clean linen for bandages sit untouched, and a tub of bathwater has cooled without being used. Mo Ran sighs to himself. Wanning is truly hopeless.

He sits on the side of the bed and touches Chu Wanning’s shoulder. “Wanning,” he says. “Wanning, wake up.”

---

Rare 0.5 tenderness, after the water prison.

nothing can consume you by tagteamme

Mo Ran’s violent history has never had to catch up to him.

It’s already embedded itself into him as scars on his body, as a tattoo on his forearm, as the lingering taste of blood in his sleep and finally, as the searing brand pressed against his chest before he’s thrown into the sea as punishment. He knows that this is where all his chances come to an end.

But as the deep fathom of the water swallows him up, something else saves him and pulls him to a tiny cove tucked away off the coast of an overlooked port town. When he wakes up under the care of a mythical creature wearing a familiar face, an even older and more distant past finally finds him.

#ranwan #2ha #erha #chu wanning #mo ran #2ha recs #fic recs #2ha spoilers

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