*le sigh* I’m still debating between practicing Judaism or paganism!!! Why an I like thiiiiiiiis????? I know the pros and cons of both religions and respect both. I’m still overthinking things (I do that a lot) about which religion I want to practice in my life. 🤔

i am struggling with faith right now. i am trying my best to navigate it but i am still struggling. if anyone has any words of wisdom i am happy to listen. my dms are open if you have any advice. i'm just lost.

Happy new years y'all, my resolution is to figure out wtf is going on with my religious identity crisis ♡♡♡ (and also post more)

I’m at this weird point in my deconstruction. Like I believe in God and the church I attend has the best people but I don’t think I can join any of the mainstream groups. I’ve been asked to pray for revival but I’m just concerned. I don’t know that the revival these people want even includes me. I know God loves me and the people that I love but I don’t know that a forced revival is going to make a safe space for the people that I care about the most.

Sooo I heard there was some demand for more shartwolf

This not self indulgent at all whaaaaaaat

This is technically for @okiedoketm KANGVCD but it can also be seen as just general Koby joins the straw hats design

I was raised in the People of Destiny cult (later renamed, and more well-known as, Sovereign Grace Ministries, now Sovereign Grace Churches).

The valorization of martyrdom and The End Times was so ubiquitous it was ambient noise. We stood in the church lobby theorizing about who the antichrist would be, we argued about whether Jesus would rapture us all before, after, or during the Tribulation Period where Satan would be given free reign over the earth. There was a strong Christian Zionist fixation on Israel as the final battleground and capital of the coming Messianic Age. But the one thing we were all certain of was is that we were in the End Times, that we were not of this world and couldn’t get too attached to our lives here.

We were raised to believe our sin nature made us undeserving of life, that we deserved death and eternal conscious torture.

My parents read us the Jesus Freaks books (a series by Christian Rap group DC Talk about martyrs). I spent “devotional time” reading Fox’s Book of Martyrs. We had guest speakers from Voice of the Martyrs, their pamphlets were often stocked in our church’s information center. We grew up with our dad listening to right wing talk radio and making us listen to songs about how the Godless atheists were outlawing Christianity in America, that we could all become martyrs soon.

The group’s theology was damaging & traumatic in a lot of other ways that contributed to the suicidality I have continued to struggle with for the rest of my life. For a long time I did not believe I would live past 20. There are times when the idea of giving my death meaning by using public suicide to make a political statement has appealed to me.

So now, seeing so many social media posts glorifying the suicide of a US Airman this week, I have been furious. Reading his social media posts, I recognize so much about the way I was raised in his all-or-nothing, black-or-white mindset, the valorization of death-seeking & martyrdom, and the apocalyptic fire-and-brimstone imagery of self-immolation. The moment I saw people I followed celebrating his self-immolation, I said to myself “this feels like a cult”

So when I learned he was raised in a cult too, nothing could have made more sense to me. His political orientation may have changed, but his mindset did not—it was no less extreme or cult-like.

I’ve talked about so many of the reasons this response from the broader left scares me, including how it’s laundering that airman’s antisemitic beliefs, but I cannot think of anything that would hit me in a more personal place than this specific response to this specific situation has.

When I see the images, I think: that could have been me. That scares me, and what scares me more is that so many prominent people are overwhelmingly sending the message to people like me that there is nothing else we can do that would have a more meaningful impact than killing ourselves for the cause.

I do not believe that. I will not even entertain it. And having to see his death over and over and over again, to argue against people who are treating this like an intellectual/moral exercise or a valid debate we all have to consider has been immensely triggering and fills me with a rage I rarely feel. It’s unconscionable that we are even putting self-harm on the table, and that pushing back against that is somehow controversial.

There is hope. Our lives do have meaning. There are far more effective means of fighting injustice. And the world is a better place for having you in it. Don’t fall into believing this is a way to give life purpose.

Spirituality Radblr Survey

I've created a spirituality and religion survey for radblr, please go fill it out. It will ask you to sign into google to limit each respondent to one attempt, but I do not collect your email addresses and it is anonymous. Thank you for your time if you complete it, I love you <3

i love ur jesus fanart so much but genuine question tho.. if you could make a judas design what would he look like?

Honestly probably like The Chosen Judas honestly, he's a vibe. The idea of Judas being pretty young emotionally gutpunches me

sometimes I don't know if I'm hearing God or the voices in my head.

2023/09/17

this week has been a lot, been trying to get funds for my memory walk fundraiser, i've been trying my best in all aspects of life and i think i have gone too hard. i feel kinda burned out. like everything feels like a chore. it is making me more anxious. but i am trying to reel it back by taking a little bit of a break. focus on other things. not studying all the time. not trying to do a bunch of productive things. just doing what i can.

i don't know if it will work but i'm going to try.

i'm also back in this situation of feeling anxious about my path religiously. it's annoying but i am allowing myself those feelings but trying to not let them overwhelm me and rather face them with an open mind and an open heart.

i'm trying. that's all i can say.

YOOOO! HazbinHotel Trailer just Drop!😱 Spoilers Along with the Release date of Season 1 and 2! Let Us know your Opinion about it!😆

Some things we know:

Amazon Prime is the streaming service that took it up Season 1 will be released in January 2024

It's going to get a season 2

The voice actors still haven't been announced for some reason? The trailer has no dialogue on top of that. We see Lucifer, a lot of Alastor and Vox fighting, the weird demon-looking angel Adam, a meeting of Hell overlords discussing the angel threats, and Sir Pentious is part of the gang now. That's about it? The trailer's music reminds me of a Disney movie for kids. There are a lot of Tinkerbell chime noises and jazzy upbeat music which I don't think is fitting for what the show is trying to go for as a teen-to-adult plot regarding demons from Hell being murdered and dealing with abuse. (They have "Guess what, bitches?" on a text screen in the trailer too) So first impression is extreme overcrowding. List of characters that appear in the trailer alone: Charlie Alastor Vaggie Angel Dust Husker Niffty Sir Pentious Lucifer Lilith Vox Velvet Adam Rosie and we all know Cherri Bomb and Valentino are gonna show up too. These are way too many characters to introduce or juggle in an 8 episode season. There is no possible way to give our main characters enough screen time, focus, or development to make them meaningful protagonists. They either have to rush plots or drop character arcs to squeeze things into 8 episodes.

really for an extremely pro-equality book LM has a surprising number of characters who desperately want someone to utterly dominate them

so a bit ago i got a lot of compliments for the old version of my spamton ex, and while im very grateful for the compliments (thanks so much!!) i wanna explain why i wont be using that version as its lore relevant to my inl1997 au

So essentially maybe about two years ago I posted designs for when spamton fuses with the shadow crystal it was given (which you can see here if u want) and initially I designed it so that it contains spamton NEO motifs as a sort of foreshadowing. But recently I got a better idea, and Ive decided im going to revamp that idea and change it to when Spamton fuses with the shadow crystal, they transform into Spamton Ex. I think it would be interesting for a version of Spamton Ex to be as equally tied to his own strings as he is with NEO — in comparison to Mettaton — and for Spamton’s Ex form to be a negative experience as a result (especially when in my au, it preludes right before the events of Spamton’s puppetfication). here’s a concept design i sketched awhile back

Question(s) for all of the protestant theologians out there:

If the devil/Satan/Lucifer/etc Fell because he aspired to be like God, then why are humans told to do the same thing? What makes us different/"Better" than literal Angels?

crafting the game

(this has been in my drafts for ages)