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#regular show joke
hot-coco · 15 days
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Blue Jay
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luxaofhesperides · 3 months
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“You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the windows to your soul’ thing was until I saw yours.” + fluff + cafe AU ; requested by @kiv1!
He’s sure Danny didn’t expect to see him every other day after he casually mentioned that he had gotten a part time job at a local cafe. However, as his friend, it is Duke’s moral duty to only get coffee from that shop while Danny is on shift, specifically to annoy him. 
Also, so he can support his friend, but being annoying takes priority.
It’s a routine now, for both of them. Danny clocks in for his shift and an hour later Duke is strolling into the cafe with his eyes locked on Danny’s. The rest of the baristas always shove Danny up to the register when they see Duke, taking over whatever order he was making. Even some of the other regulars turn their attention up to the counter, hoping for another few minutes of entertainment.
Danny sighs as he gets ready to input Duke’s order. It’s never the same one, because Duke would hate to be predictable and make things easier for Danny, but it has the side effect of making him realize that some of the expensive, seasonal drinks are really good. 
It’s a bit hard on his wallet, but it’s a price he’s willing to pay for teasing Danny. 
“Hey,” he greets cheerfully as he leans against the counter, grinning at Danny.
Danny sighs again. “What can I get you today, random customer that keeps bothering me.”
“A latte, but make it sweet somehow. And iced.”
“What size would you like?”
“Let’s go with medium today.”
“Anything else?”
“Yeah.” Duke leans closer to Danny, watching as he fights down a smile. “I just gotta say that you got gorgeous eyes. You know, I never realized how true the ‘eyes are the window to your soul thing’ was until I saw yours.”
Danny considers this for a moment, then shakes his head. “It kind of sounds like your trying to steal my soul through my eyes.”
“Why is that what your mind goes to?”
“Well. I watched Coraline last night.”
Duke stares at Danny, taking in the dark circles under his eyes. “...Didn’t you say that movie gave you nightmares as a kid?”
“Yeah! And it turns out, it gives me nightmares even now!”
“And ruined my pick up line,” Duke complains playfully.
“It was too cheesy anyways,” Danny replies, putting Duke’s order into the screen. It prints a moment later, no doubt with some bizarre name since Danny refuses to actually name Duke on his orders, and then recites the price. 
He pays and watches as Danny slaps the order onto a medium sized up, then tosses it over to the barista making the drinks. He’s not actually sure what her name is since she refuses to wear a name tag, but she always gives him a wave and also a rating of how good his pick up lines are.
“Seven out of ten!” she calls out to him today, then gets started on making his drink.
“I don’t see why you don’t flirt with anyone else,” Danny says, “I’m pretty sure my coworkers like your pick up lines even more than they like me.”
“Why would I want to flirt with them? Danny, I’m literally only here to bother you.”
Danny rolls his eyes. “Yeah, trust me, I know. My good looks just keep pulling in business.”
He says it like a joke, but it’s true. Duke has noticed it. Danny’s coworkers have noticed it. His manager noticed it and now has him out on the floor every shift. If they can get him to work on the chalkboard sign outside, or wipe down the two tables out front, then they do it, because Danny is Midwestern to his core and it’s very charming in a place like Gotham. He smiles at people as they walk by, happily answers their questions when they ask him what the cafe serves, recommends food and drinks for them, is generally a bright and nice person to everyone who comes near the cafe. 
His cute looks draw people in, then his personality makes them stay. 
It’s all customer service, of course, because Duke never gets the cute, sunny Danny. He’s left with the sarcastic, rude, and funny Danny that’s been his friend since they met in junior year of high school. 
“Your eyes are really pretty, though,” Duke says, “Very blue. Sometimes green. It’s no wonder people keep falling for you!”
Danny reaches across the counter to shove Duke away, but he’s blushing, so Duke is counting it as a win. “Shut up. Now you’re just lying. My eyes are never green.”
“Yes, they are. Danny, I’ve seen them multiple times. They’re green sometimes.”
“No? My eyes have literally only ever been blue. They’re the bluest blue to ever blue. They don’t just turn green.”
They squint at each other for a long moment, trying to figure out who’s wrong and in what way. Duke’s pretty sure Danny’s wrong, since he can’t exactly see his own eyes, and Duke has spent an embarrassing amount of time just admiring how nice they are in different kinds of light. But also, they are Danny’s eyes, so he should know what color they are.
Then Danny’s coworker is setting down Duke’s drink on the pick up counter, giving Danny an excuse to get back to work.
“One medium oatmeal cookie iced latte for Cornelius Aggravating Douglas.” He holds up the drink and makes very direct eye contact with Duke, holding out the drink towards him.
“Did you really have to make the initials ‘Cad’?”
“Yes.”
“Fair enough,” Duke says, making Danny crack a smile. 
“Are you heading out after this?”
Duke grabs a straw and sticks it into his latte, swirling it around some. “That was the plan, yeah. Got a few library books to pick up. Why?”
“I got approval for a half shift today, so I’m off in like ten minutes, if you wanna wait for me.”
“Hell yeah, dude! I’ll wait outside so I don’t distract you with my flirtatious winks again.”
“Get out of here,” Danny laughs. Duke lifts his drink in a quick toast, then gets out of there. He takes a seat at one of the tables out front, content to just people watch as he slowly sips his latte.  
It��s cloudy out, but not raining, which is always a plus. As much as he’d like to see the sun, these kinds of days aren’t so bad, either. The wind still carries a bit of a chill, but the spring is steadily warming things up. There are tons of people out, a constant rush of movement, but a few do catch sight of him, then look towards the cafe, their steps slowing down as they think. Most keep walking, but Duke does manage to get a few to go in just by taking a long sip of his latte to really enjoy it.
Really, he should be getting compensated for the work he’s doing to draw people in. Danny’s not the only one who can do it. 
Bruce keeps offering him money, so he doesn’t need to get paid, but maybe he can convince the other employees to talk Danny into accepting one of his pick up lines so they can go on a date one of these days. 
It’s become a bit of a joke, but the first time Duke used a cheesy pick up line on Danny, he was being absolutely serious about it. He definitely shouldn’t have used a pick up line he found from a website centered on relationship advice, but he panicked and needed some extra help. 
Instead of smoothly asking Danny out on a date, Duke froze up, blurted out the pick up line, then had to laugh it off with Danny and pretend it was a joke. 
He still wishes he was able to ask Danny out properly before, but he’s also glad that they got to spend more time as friends, getting to know each other. It’s easier to be with him now, no longer so tongue tied and flustered. 
Duke gets to fluster Danny now, which is much better. 
And maybe one day his pick up lines will work! Sooner or later Danny’s going to question why he keeps doing this, and then he’ll connect the dots and understand what Duke feels for him.
As it is, he has yet to connect shit. 
“My eyes are definitely blue,” Danny says as he walks out of the cafe, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “I checked while I was putting my apron away.”
“You’re still on that?”
“They’re blue.”
Duke gestures for Danny to come closer. He complies and leans down, letting Duke cup his face in his hands. He checks, considers, then checks again, and says, “They are indeed blue.”
“Told you they weren’t green,” Danny says smugly, pulling back. 
“And I said they were green sometimes. Now clearly isn’t one of those times, but they do turn green!”
“I don’t think you should be allowed to say any eye-related pick up lines until you admit that you were wrong and didn’t know my eye color.”
Shaking his head, Duke stands up and pushes in his chair. “Just wait, I’ll catch it sometime and prove it to you.”
“Sure, whatever. Don’t you have library books to get?”
“Yeah, you coming with?”
“Obviously. Why else would I leave my wonderful job where I am left alone to make drinks in peace?” Danny knocks his shoulder against Duke playfully, then reaches over and steals his drink right out of his hand. He takes a sip, makes a pleased hum, and drains half of what was left in the cup. 
“Hey!” Duke moves to take it back, which is naturally the exact moment Danny takes off running, effortlessly dodging everyone else on the sidewalk. He takes off after Danny, using his powers to make sure he can move out of the way of anything or anyone who gets in his path. 
They’re past the block when Danny starts to slow down, taking another sip of Duke’s latte. 
He puts on a final burst of speed and all but tackles Danny into the mouth of an alley, reaching for his cup. “Gotcha!”
“No!” Danny wails dramatically. He takes a step back and Duke watches as his power kicks up again, showing him a vision of Danny stepping on an empty can and falling back. Except he doesn’t really fall back? His foot rolls back on the can for a second, then goes through the can and settles back onto the ground where he catches his balance. Through the entire three second fall, Danny’s eyes are a bright green, brighter than Duke’s ever seen them.
His vision fades away and he moves to catch Danny, taking the chance to watch carefully as Danny’s foot does indeed go through the can. He quickly brings his gaze up to Danny’s eyes, which are green, but not inhumanly bright like they were in his vision.
Is the green not perceptible to normal humans?
He can probably only see it due to his powers. Which means he somewhat inadvertently outed himself as a meta.
Whoops!
Might as well just bite the bullet.
“Hey, do you have powers?” 
Danny chokes, shoving Duke away as he coughs and tries to clear his throat. He looks panicked, wild-eyed, searching for an escape route. “What? No. Why would I have powers? Maybe you have powers, have you ever considered that?”
“I mean. I do have powers. That’s why I’m asking.”
“Hold up. Stop talking. You have powers?”
“And your eyes are green sometimes.”
“That’s. No, they’re not,” Danny lies. It’s a very bad lie, seeing how on edge he is, and as much as Duke hates making Danny feel like that, he did get some bad habits while training with Bruce and this is one of them: the need to keep pushing, chasing after clear answers regardless of what the cost is. 
Duke shrugs, taking a sip of his latte, down to its last few mouthfuls, acting casual. “If you say so. But my powers don’t lie, man. As much as I wish they would, sometimes.”
“...Can we not do this out here?” The defeated tone Danny speaks with makes Duke hate himself. But he needs answers now. He needs to know if Danny is like him, if he’s safe, if he needs help. He needs it more than he needs Danny to like him at all. 
“Sure. I know a few quiet places we can talk.”
“I can’t believe this is happening,” Danny mutters. “Did my eyes really give it away?”
“Yeah. I mean, to be fair, I also didn’t realize until literally right now, so I don’t think anyone else will figure it out just from staring into your eyes.”
“See, this is what happens when you keep flirting when you don’t mean it. Secrets get pulled out into the open and it’s bad for everyone!”
Duke lightly punches Danny’s arm, trying to lift the mood. “Hey, who said I didn’t mean it?”
“What?”
“Who said I didn’t mean it when I flirt with you?”
Danny blinks at him, confused, then says, “I mean, no one I guess. But it’s pretty obvious?”
“I only flirt with you, you know.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah,” Duke says, trying to ignore how his voice shakes slightly. “There’s another one of my secrets. Can we call it even now?”
“Oh!” The shock of the revelation distracts Danny from his earlier nerves. Which is great, because now Duke is the one who’s nervous. It’s worth it, though, seeing the pretty blush come to bloom on Danny’s cheeks. “So all those pick up lines—”
“Yeah.”
“And the pick up line made you realize my powers!” 
“These pick up lines are doing the most,” Duke agrees. And then he realizes, “Hey, you what this means? I was right! Your eyes are windows to your soul!”
“I’m going to hit you,” Danny says, already winding back for a solid punch. He lets Danny hit him since it’s only fair for the stress he caused; as a meta, Duke knows how important secrecy is, how the difference between life and death can be just how well his powers are hidden. 
“Are we even now?”
Danny considers him for a moment, then sighs. “Yeah, I guess. Let’s be done with this for now, okay? Let’s go to the library.”
He refuses to entertain any conversation about powers or Duke’s feelings for him. It’s nice to spend time with Danny, but by the end, Duke is sure he can feel his heart start to crack in half. A sleepless night awaits him when he gets home, moving past his cousin’s attempts to talk to him in favor of flopping face down onto his bed.
But the next day, Danny grins at him when he walks into the cafe. He doesn’t have a new pick up line, choosing instead to act as calm and casual as possible to give Danny some space.
Also breaking routine, Danny insists on personally making Duke’s drink, writing something onto the cup before he fills it up with a floral tea. 
You’re so fine, you made me forget my pick up line, is scrawled on the side of his cup when he gets it. 
“Enjoy your drink, Cutiepie the Third,” Danny says with a shy smile.
“The Third?” Duke repeats, relief making him feel lighter than air, “Who are the first two?”
“Don’t worry about it, cutie. Get to class!”
Duke lets Danny chase him out, and holds in his laugh when he hears Danny’s coworker screech, “What was that?!”
Yeah, they’ll be fine. In the meantime, Duke needs to see if apology pick up lines are thing. Danny definitely deserves one.
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poorly-drawn-mdzs · 11 months
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Besties can't enable pvp on each other, right?
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mushtoons · 7 months
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gay gay homosexual gay
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untitled-tmnt-blog · 11 months
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We've seen AU's where Splinter saves some of the turtles.
We've seen AU's where Spinter saves none of the turtles.
Now, I propose: Splinter saves all the turtles. In fact, he's so good at it, that he saves them before Draxum even pulls the lever.
Allow me to present:
Teenage Mundane Ninja Turtles
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virtkha · 1 month
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more doodles of the GOAT thomas 😛
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birthclod · 30 days
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Guys...
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porcelain-rob0t · 3 months
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rigby from regular show has bpd to me, he has all the symptoms
- intense emotion felt in quick succession
- impulsive behavior
- fear of abandonment (especially from mordecai)
- having a Favorite Person to get validation from (mordecai)
- self destructive behavior
- low empathy
- idolizing and devaluing in quick succession
- chronic feelings of emptiness
- unstable sense of self (e.g, changing his name to trashboat)
- unstable self esteem and masking low self esteem with high confidence
idgaf about bojack horseman, rigby is my bpd representation
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le-fandom-prince · 1 year
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"Rigby's straight"
"Rigby doesn't like men"
Rigby got in a fight with Mordecai, left the park, and joined a "unicorn" group where there was clear innuendos of things going on between that group! not to mention Rigby never showed ANY interest in women, not even really with Eileen until like the very end where he just SUDDENLY FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER like the entire time he wasn't pushing her away and shit, and he was totally not jealous of Margaret considering every time Mordecai and Margaret were together he would be so pissy about it! AND when Mordecai agreed to go to a fist pump concert because Margaret was going Rigby goes "can't believe you're going just for some lady pecs" LIKE THE HOMOSEXUAL NERD HE IS!
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tatsumi-rin · 2 months
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L + Ratio + my wallet is cooler than your wallet
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abirddogmoment · 4 months
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In the same vein as my Dog Thoughts post about performance foundations last night, the more I watch Sports People, the more motivated I am to distance myself from them and be done with dog sports completely.
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irasciblethoughts · 3 months
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This might be my favorite one so far
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cold-neon-ocean · 4 months
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You're such a good artist and you've convinced me about Baatar being horse-coded. I'm curious what horse!Baatar looks like.
First off thank you so much you're so sweet ;; <3
Second, I'm so glad my horse-coded Baatar propaganda is working, you have no idea how long I've been ready to answer this.
Let us begin with our steed in question: - Lightly smokey copper bay warmblood: [ selle francais x holsteiner ] - Long star on his face and dainty little amounts of pastern white - Roached mane with minimal forelock so he looks like a velociraptor - 100% constantly at the ready to kick someone in the fucking face - Well known for whipping people in the face with his tail He'd absolutely be a sporty warmblood very much crushing the 5 star eventing scene. He's bougie and sensitive and ornery. His best discipline is cross country he's got the speed, stamina, and agility, second is show jumping as he sometimes gets a bit cramped in smaller indoor arenas, and then dressage. He isn't bad at dressage he's just prone to throwing a fit when something upsets him, like he will yank the reins out of your hands if he gets annoyed with your direction or if someone's phone starts ringing he'll stop dead and look around to see who it was so that they'll feel embarrassed lolol. And as good at eventing as he is it takes him like 45 minutes to wake up so if you don't prepare early, you WILL be late.
He's the sort of horse that makes you question who owns who in this situation because if his needs aren't perfectly met he will yell and scream until someone comes to attend to him.
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Bonus: Custom embroidered blanket because he will still serve tactical fashion even as a horse and also he hates getting dirty.
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evangelina830 · 4 months
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@catpixi fanart of your oc x canon with Tomaus!^_^ I hope you like it!
(I am so sorry, my dear sister and followers/moots that see this… I’m going through a massive burnout and this is what it’s come to💀💀💀 normal art next eventually I swear HAHSHSHXJXJ🙏😭😭 - I was trying to replicate panda (from we bare bears) art style as a joke PLSSS,,😭😭💀💀💀)
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uncannybob · 5 months
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Tinfoil theory: Edith & Harold are really older Louise & Rudy that traveled back in time!
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Okay, no. This is of course not true. There's really no evidence for this (and what we know of Edith's backstory contridicts this) but when I look at them I can't help but think how similar they are.
Rudy & Harold have the same long ears and talk in hoarse voices that makes you think they may have issues with their respitory systems. Rudy likes hats and his favorite colour is green. Harold wears a hat and a green shirt.
While Louise dosen't chare many characteristics with present Edith she does share many with Edith as a child as I pointed out in a previous blog.
I'm just saying; if anyone asked me what Louise and Rudy would look like 70 years from now I'll probably just show them a picture of the Cranwinkles.
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Also their dynamic is somewhat similar with Louise & Edith being more dominant and Rudy & Harold being more submisive.
Again, I don't think this theory is true but its just fun to imagine.
Maybe it can be the premise for a fanfic or a comic book story.
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alitgblog · 10 months
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if elliot doesn't do this he's not a real gamer
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