💙💚
(anyway, stream teardrops)
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I just realized that it would have been both funnier and more thematically on-point if I tagged my posts on here with #yours instead of #mine
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In which a betrayal is rewarded.
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im gonna post a pic of my butthole next. spread out style
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Employers: wow you sure suck at this i mean are you SURE you're cut out for this?
New hires: i mean, i wasn't even trained. Maybe if you could train me...?
Employers: maybe if you pulled yourself up by your bootstraps a little more you won't suck so much
New hires: but what about training
Employers: now git gud or you're outta here
New hires: training
Employers: ask if you're unsure about anything ok now get better at your new job have a good day
New hires:
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can y'all imagine the amount of teenage girls who fainted when luke and five star hard launched their relationship 💀
oh absolutely. it would've caused mass hysteria like i'm talking a bunch of people finding out on tiktok and all the comments are like "THIS IS HOW I FIND OUT?" "PLS SAY SIKE RN"
i think they'd hard launch like 6 months into their relationship while the band is doing promo for their second album (which many if not all the songs are about five star) and an interviewer would ask the band a question like "how many of you guys are single?" (like that one direction interview with ellen) and luke keeps his hand down, grinning at the camera because he knows five star is at unc watching the band's first day-time tv talk show appearance.
and he just drops the bomb (with five star's permission of course) like, "yeah all the songs on this album are about my girlfriend! even kiss her you fool, which these boys wrote to convince me to make a move."
and five star posts an instagram story with a screenshot of the interview with "the boy is mine" by ariana grande as the song choice
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did none of the tiktok carnivores play minecraft at some point? everybody knows eating raw meat doesn't fill your hunger bar that well!
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Honestly, the Tumblr ads on mobile are amazing.
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the eepies but not sleepies
the jeebies but not weebies the Skreebies peebie
they are Not Sleebgy Guys
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Roses on roses on roses on a flowerbed
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"This is all your fault, you horny asshole! You just had to thirst after that Topaz lady, didn't you?! And don't get me started on being a guinea pig!"
"Hey, she's not gonna actually do anything! Besides, how could I know it'd spiral into all this?"
"I DON'T LIKE BUGS, YUUKI! I COULD HAVE ONE IN MY FUCKING BRAIN!!!!!!"
"Well, if you get brainwashed, you won't mind..."
"BWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"
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You, who believes the nature of existence is not stasis but flow: The nature of existence is not stasis but flow
Me, a small Victorian child dying of consumption: A-heh, a-heh.
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Terrible news everyone: Men exist in teyvat and they're STILL horrible.
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Confession: Honestly, I really do love the wait time in between sending a confession and it getting posted. By the time my earliest confessions show up, I feel like I'm not gonna remember what it is I wrote, so on my daily check in, I'll read one and think "haha lol, that's relatable. Wait a minute..."
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need to get a toxic boyfriend as a character building exercise
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get out of my school
i am filing a complaint with the human resources department. this bullying cannot continue.
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