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azure-clockwork · 1 month

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Way to tell us your groundbreaking original opinion shared by only more than half the fandom in a "better than everyone" tone despite being an extremely surface level analysis.

Like damn, I'm not arguing with you and I'm sorry for the rude sarcasm, but you gotta understand that post like yours keep popping once in a while in the characters tag ( despite having all discourse tag and discourse-prone blog blocked ) when they don't add anything to the discussion. Three Houses is such an interesting game to analyze so if you're going to do discourse, at least get a bit in depth!

Because yes, you're complaining about the discourse but your post is just... participating in the discourse, just in the average "centrist" fe3h fandom way for a lack of a better word. If you hate it so much why add your grain of salt in it? You're the same as the annoying Edelgard/Dimitri/Claude you're speaking about! I mean at least some of them at least provide interesting analysis about the game within rant.

At least tag your post the next time, because even some of the worst lord stan have the decency to do that.

Sorry you got my rant, but your post was the drop that makes the ocean of badly tagged similar takes overflow my discourse limit. Three Houses discourse sucks hard in every form it takes. Still, have a good day at least.

Okok I did say I was asking for this so, fair

First, sincerely, how would you like me to have tagged this? This is an honest question to which I don't actually know the answer, and I'll go back and edit the tags cuz I don't want to bug more people (and kinda the only reason I'm replying because otherwise I feel like engaging is kinda not what I wanna be doing with my life nor yours, but sadly my brain doesn't shut its trap once I start thinking so I feel compelled to share with the class). Actually, you can skip the rest of this if you don't wanna bother lol

Secondly, I just wanted to be funny because I think that accusing fire emblem characters of war crimes is amusing. I recognize that the Geneva Convention sorta breaks apart the moment magic or crests or dark beasts or gambits come into play, and it's also not what people mean when they say 'Dimitri did war crimes' or 'Edelgard is a war criminal', but I think its hilarious to do anyways. When I see people making arguments about characters and using the term 'war criminal', roughly half of my brain starts laughing about how teeeeechnically using that one gambit with the poison barrels counts as criminal, regardless of if I agree or disagree with the argument made. And I'm memeing on myself here too (or at least trying to): "Jay is gay for Edelgard" is a truly terrible justification to base decisions of morality on . I'd argue that picking a house/the church based on attraction to the lord/Rhea is a sillier motive than a numerical tally of official violations of the Geneva Convention.

I really didn't want this to come across as Discourse tm because I don't want it to be; I just wanted turn my own desire to make a list of every single 'technically a war crime' into something semi amusing, because nobody actually wants to sit and read far too many words about how technically if you recruit and deploy Cyril to rescue Flayn (which is before his 15th birthday by like a month) that makes you a war criminal.

If you want my actual opinion (because making you scroll back thru my blog to read the unhinged rants I came up with while deciding between crimson flower and silver snow would be kinda a dick move), fe3h is a messy, morally grey game regardless of your chosen route. You have to make rough choices, kill your friends and former students, and stand by while everyone, including your allies, does terrible things. For me, I bonded really hard with most of the cast fairly quickly because white clouds let me feel like I was doing the worlds best job teaching my kids. And then you have to kill them. You cannot save them all. It broke me a little. The first student I killed, perma-killed, with the music dropping out and all, was Hilda during the Deirdru fight against her and Claude. It was an accident; she died on enemy phase, and I was out of Divine Pulse charges. She wasn't even a requirement for victory. That was the cost of taking Deirdru; that was the cost of waging war. I lay awake that night thinking about how if I had a different sword equipped I couldn't have counterattacked her from 2 tiles away, or if I had done less damage, or tanked a hit, or--

I'm not arguing that every route is equally morally reprehensible, but I think it matters quite a bit that every route makes you complicit in some terrible things. For several reasons, I'm a big fan of crimson flower (I Do Not Like The Church and I also agree with all of the characters who would like to do away with the nobility and crest systems), but that's tempered by the weight of the actions of Those Who Slither. I am continually unsure of just how much I feel the weight of TWSitD's actions falls on Edelgard herself, and I vacillate between "she didn't really have any other options to cause any kind of change from her position, so an uneasy alliance with TWSitD was the lesser of two evils" and "she bears a significant chunk of responsibility for all of their actions, including Jeralt's death". And I have similar, albeit often less strong thoughts about the rest of the characters. Nobody is operating with the full picture, the characters are all massively blinded by their emotions, and everyone makes choices between what they think is the lesser of a few evils. While the exact number of war crimes is irrelevant because whoops, the Geneva Convention doesn't exist in Fodlan and war crimes aren't the only immoral things you can do, thinking about what means are justified by which ends and who bears the responsibility for what acts is actually a really important part of the game for me.

I guess at the end of the day, I walk away from this game believing the war should not have had to happen. But the world doesn't run on shoulds and should nots (in Fodlan or irl), so the best we can do is make choices based on what we do know, and to do our best to help people with the tools we have. I personally land on crimson flower in the end, but I think the real beauty of Three Houses is just how hard it makes that choice.

Ok, I'm done blabbing; just tell me how I ought to tag this to avoid bugging people and I'll be on my way. I mean this sincerely: have a nice day yourself, and sorry to have annoyed you!

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tarotnoob · 2 years

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PAC: Intuitive general reading *You need to hear this*

I felt like doing a general reading, but trying to personalize it as much as possible. It's intuitive because I'm not going to rely as much on any textbook meanings, nor will I explain everything like usual.

Choose a pile(s) and scroll for your message.

Pile 1

Pile 1, this one feels pretty straight forward. This is a message for something that either recently happened or will happen in the near future. You might've had an argument with someone close to you. It's possible that someone got their feelings hurt or intense emotions were involved on both sides. It's also possible that one or both of you were hiding what you really felt anyway or you were hurt by something and didn't tell the other person involved how you really felt. I feel like one or both of you are waiting for the other to do or say something. Maybe you're sitting on feelings that you need to share.

It's also possible that holding onto old grudges or hurt is getting in the way of manifesting a new relationship.

Bottom line is - to move forward or to get what you truly want, you have to open up and share those feelings instead of keeping them to yourself. If this does involve another person, then you need to take time to consider the other person's feelings or perspective on the matter. With the soulmate card here, I think they are someone who (probably) is worth attempting to salvage the friendship or relationship if you feel called to or it resonates to do so. I think you also need to allow yourself to feel whatever you're feeling, but it might be good to put those heavy or sad feelings into perspective. Maybe they are skewing your view on the situation. If it helps, signs involved here are Pisces, Libra, and all earth signs.

Some more detailed info that could help - the two of you seem to clearly care about one another, so you should give them a fair shot to explain themselves or if it's you that needs to share, you should do so. Because Libra is here, I want to say there needs to be reciprocity and balance in this relationship for it to work; it also requires everyone to be honest about how they feel and allow all parties to feel what they need to feel. Both of you really need to listen to one another sincerely. I also strongly suggest patience in this situation because if you apply it, something (more solid) will come out of it.

Another message could simply be about relationships in general and having had difficulty with relationships in life so far and having waited a long time for the right person to come in. However, what may be "blocking" them or keeping them from manifesting into your life is that there are still old wounds that you would need to let go of so you don't take any of that out on the new person when they come in. There seems to be a "key" involved in maintaining certain close relationships for you (and these don't have to be romantic). It also looks like you will experience spiritual evolution through one or many relationships in life - whether they challenge you to grow through heartbreak or cause you to grow through love, compassion, understanding, or learning to forgive others (or even yourself).

For those of you waiting on a next relationship - there seems to be a significant one coming, but, like I said, all in due time because balance and being honest about feelings has to come first. Or, you'll achieve this by being at this person's side. They might be the one to help bring you into alignment. It may also simply be a message that you already have someone like that at your side who's taught you a lot spiritually and emotionally and helped you grow to become a better person. In addition, it does seem like there may be a message coming your way, one you may have been waiting on for a while, or also simply that you've been putting effort into something and soon it will be ready and you will definitely have something solid to show for it. If you're already in a relationship and you've been putting effort in lately to understand one another, it has only resolidified the relationship. If you reach out to a person that you may have had a disagreement and speak your feelings in a calm and honest way, that's all you can do!

Significant numbers: 5 and 7, spiritual wisdom will come from change/conflict [in dealing with the relationships in your life] July 5 or May 7 or the numbers 57, 75, or 12; or fifth or 7th house could be meaningful regarding this type of situation.

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Pile 2

Find harmony within yourself is one of the bigger messages for this pile. If you're seeking answers on how to create more calm or peace in your life, the answers are already within you or you at least have the ability to find the answers you seek on your own. It feels like there was recently or soon will be an opportunity to relieve a heavy weight or burden off your shoulders. Perhaps you've already been looking inward to try to sort things out regarding feelings or life. I'm seeing several circles/wheels here, so cycles could be relevant or a cycle is ending and a new one beginning. In doing this kind of work, or should I say... it's the energy of someone who's been doing a lot of internal cleaning and sorting of thoughts or feelings, and in so doing, you've opened up an opportunity for change, good fortune, better luck.

You might feel like things have been moving slow or it's been something you've been working on for a long time, but it IS creating results that you will eventually be able to see. Things will start moving more in your favor. It could come in the form of a new job or a financial opportunity. Maybe those are things that will be able to bring you more relief if you've been stressing about money.

There's also a vibe of birth/death cycles here, so you might be letting go of something in order to grow. It could also be a good time to let go of grudges, a good time to work with someone on a joint future, a good time to take a relationship to a deeper level (especially concerning sex); it could be a good time to shed an old version of yourself or perhaps you won't have a choice in the matter, and the universe will be taking away things from you that are no longer making you stronger or are holding you back. The intent for those things to be shed is to bring more calm or balance into your life, though it may not seem that way at first. It may also be a good time to conceive children if you're interested and wanting that because - regardless - I think for a lot of you, you'll be receiving good news in the near future. It doesn't have to be related to what you lost, but what you lost has probably made room for something or someone new to enter into your life. The debt that was removed was just taking up space; it was dead weight. Something better is moving in to create change and shake you up so that you keep moving forward.

Significant signs and numbers: Scorpio, Sagittarius (and fixed signs); 8th or 9th house issues; 1, 10 or just 1; so, again this is about cycles, specifically related to you/first house; there's also the energy of new beginnings [think fool and ace of pentacles]; there's "expansion", growth, luck that may be involved; transformation; no matter how I look at it it's like a snake shedding its skin or a crab outgrowing a shell and moving onto the next-up size - bigger and better things, but you can't do that until you let go of the old skin/shell. So, sometimes big feelings are involved when we have to move on from things we have been attached to or also there can be struggles around change or letting go of control. It feels like something has to be destroyed before something new can begin. That could be a big thing or it could be little, but... it's a part of life and one that everyone goes through; and likely there's nothing you can do to prevent or control it, so you'll hurt yourself less by going with the flow of these natural changes. It's not personal, it's just... how it is. And maybe there's peace for you in knowing or understanding or hearing that.

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Pile 3

This for go the distance seems significant here: To bring your dream to life, you must think long-term and pay no attention to the fluctuations in the current of your experience. Joy and disappointment commingle with opportunities, so there is no need to fear the occasional obstacle. I bring that up because the tarot starts off with three of swords (disappointment); chariot is that focus toward long-term goals; two of cups is balance and mutual, trusting, close relationships.

The biggest message in this pile is that something requires your focus and attention right now. It could be career or studies or it could be a relationship in your life that needs your care and attention right now. It could also be that you are already working or collaborating with someone on an important project, as well. Even the practice card indicates some type of intense focus is necessary.

If it's a relationship, it could be because some type of argument happened that pulled you apart or that you aren't speaking to this person, so the cards want you to focus on repairing that if it seems relevant. If it's in regard to career or studies, it's a good time to focus on that aspect of your life and not be distracted by any type of disappointments. If you're in a long-term relationship, then also you shouldn't let small obstacles get in the way of what you want to achieve and [see pile 1], the way to resolve it may be to speak about your honest feelings or at least have a talk about it so that both sides can understand where the other one is coming from. IF you want WHATEVER the situation that's going on to work, you have to put ALL of your sincere effort into it RIGHT NOW. This isn't just, like, putting in minimal effort - chariot, go the distance, practice, focus on the positive - these are all big energy necessary to manifest something. You could even be drawing someone in who's going to assist you with these goals. It could also be that make sure you aren't putting any negative thoughts or energy out there regarding this goal. You're meant to only focus on the positive, go for the long haul here, put the work and effort in, don't be distracted by blips and any nay sayers, even if it's yourself.

There's also potential travel here for many of you with 75% of these cards. It could be a big trip, as in, one that goes to another country or is at least pretty far away. You may even be studying abroad or going to work in another country. IF this is about a relationship, then it could be a long distance one or a plan to meet a good friend or partner who lives in another country or perhaps going on a trip with someone close to somewhere foreign.

It could be there were obstacles in the way of this [meeting] but don't see those as signs that this isn't going to happen or work out. You have to FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE. Like with Pile 2, if there were disappointments before - they're in the past or will be soon. Don't even think about what hasn't worked out, ONLY focus on what's ahead or only focus on what could happen in the future. As in, be optimistic. Sagittarius is also about being optimistic or open to learning.

Significant signs: Sagittarius, Cancer (9th house, 4th house)

Significant numbers: 3, 7, 2

Dates: March 7, March 2; February, March, July; July 2; July 3; July 5

Numerology; creativity or community, friends; spiritual knowledge or being analytical; relationships and/or balance

So - working on something (creative) with another person and being focused on that; learning some type of spiritual lesson through a certain relationship as in evolving spiritually by being with a partner who encourages you or teaches you how to grow; a time to find balance between work and a romantic relationship or finding any kind of balance in a relationship that already exists - working through that and coming through the other side stronger.

If you want something to succeed - you have to COMMIT to it and work for it (with sincerity).

Definitely see you overcoming conflict; moving forward; being focused; spiritual transformation; and working past any (problematic) issues you may have experienced with others. Either way, the bad stuff is in the past and you need to focus on what's ahead. And I do see for A LOT of you that this will include someone else coming into your life if they aren't already in it to help you or be with you during this process of moving on or forward.

If you're not interested in relationships, you're simply coming into more (inner) balance in choosing to let go of the past and focus on what's next without looking back.

Scorpio could also be a significant sign for you along with the rest.

And if you were drawn to Pile 2, you can check that out. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if some of you were drawn to each pile as there could be a message for you to receive by reading all piles.

#tarot #pick a card #astrology #spirituality #general reading #tarot reader

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leolo404 · 3 years

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✨Astrology Observations Pt.1✨

Hey guys! My name is Leo and it's my very first time to make a personal astrology observation post. I can't wait to share my knowledge and understanding in this certain topic to everyone✨

⚠️Sidenote⚠️: Please take this with a grain of salt for not all of my personal observations will resonate you entirely.

✨Mercury in the 9th house/9th house stellium can indicate someone who wants to experience new things atleast once. (Example: wants to try skateboarding, learning another language, traveling to another country)

✨Venus-Mars aspects(especially conjunct) can give off both masculine and feminine energy.

✨Personal observation but I noticed most Aquarius moons tend to like playing games that are unusual and not as famous compared to other games. They can also be really passionate about gaming.

✨Gemini placements are so good at multitasking and juggling as much ideas as they can. I could never😭😭

✨Out of all the fire x air dynamic, Leo is the most committed and loyal but also the only sign that has tendencies of holding grudges. On the other hand, out of all the water x earth dynamic, Pisces is the most free-spirited and tends to move on quickly.

✨If you are having a bad day and need a lot of compliments and support to make you happy call a Leo or Libra rising.

✨Mars in the 6th house tends to overwork themselves to get rid of stress because this can be their way of distracting themselves from their own personal problems, this can also apply to Mars in the 10th house and Virgo Mars as well.

✨I believe Sagittarius is the only fire sign that has no ego at all or atleast lesser compared to the other two fire signs.

✨Cancer placements can be really talkative when they are comfortable enough with you and they can be great home buddies.

✨I heard this somewhere but having your south node in the 11th house can indicate that in your past life you tend to focus more on humanity and helping others that you can't express yourself or someone restricts you to be who you really are which shows that in this life, you have the chance to express yourself more and be creative. (North node in the 5th house)

✨1st house stelliums are the types of people who are really focused on the self and would try anything to learn more and find insights about who they truly are. (they can be into astrology, personality types, or anything that can describe you and give you a sense of belongingness)

✨Scorpio moons can have really intense emotions but since the moon is in fall in Scorpio, they tend to repress their emotions or block it leading to compulsions and anger.

✨Taurus/Leo Suns are stereotypically known as the lazy signs of the zodiac but don't let that fool you. They are one of the most ambitious and determined signs and when they have their eyes on a certain goal, they won't stop until they reach it.

✨Aries/Capricorn placements are like a train without brakes, they are really unstoppable from doing what they like.

✨Fixed signs (Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius) tend to resist change and will only change when there is a reason to.

✨Virgo Suns are one of the most important people needed in society. They are very dutiful, hard-working, studious, factual, and are reliable partners in the workplace. They can be the typical role model citizens.

✨You tend to have a Love-Hate relationship with the signs in your 4th and 8th house. (Example: I have Aquarius in my 4th house and Gemini in my 8th house and istg they are so annoying but holy cow I still love them 😭❤️)

✨Mercury in the 10th house should try working in a business, they are really economical and business-oriented and the way they speak is so professional-like.

✨Cancer with a mix of Leo placements are truly the most sweetest and sincere people alive.

✨Capricorns are not cold, they are just really mature and are good at handling their temper issues.

✨Also the way they express their anger is like a great example of when your parents get mad at you for doing something wrong. Please don't lecture me 😃✋

✨Both Aquarius and Leos are in the same level when it comes to attention seeking but in a very different way, Leos tend to look for it or perhaps find a way in order for others to compliment and praise them while Aquarius are more on the standing out type, doing anything to make sure they are noticeably different than the rest. (Sorry Aquarians for exposing y'all😔👈)

✨People who aren't familiar with astrology tend to mistaken Aquarius as a water sign and Scorpio as a fire sign. Not surprised though 🤡

Ok this is it for my first astro observation post. Thank you so much for taking your time reading this and hope everyone enjoyed it✨

I also want to thank @venusfun for inspiring me to make this post and helping me out with this as well. Love ya bestie💞💞 And of course I can't forget about my friends who supported me in any way possible💞💞 Thank you!

#astrology #astrology post #astrology observations #astro notes #zodiac signs #horoscope #aries #taurus #gemini #cancer #leo #virgo #libra #scorpio #sagittarius #capricorn #aquarius #pisces #credits to owner of the gif

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dizzydancingdreamer · 4 years

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“So that’s how you want to play this, love?" | The Mikaelson Boys

Hey My Lovelies! I hope all is well today! I received a request ages ago from @activist-af to do something like this, as you will read below. I honestly aimed to fit the movie night theme in there but it was swallowed up pretty fast! I only meant for this fic to be 3000 or so words but, as it always seems to do, it got away from me.I truly hope that you enjoy this, you've given me an unwavering amount of support these past few months while I was battling a major bout of depression and writers block. I can't repay all the kindness and love you've given me but I hope this is a start! Much love darling! And much love to all of you lovelies! Please have a fantastic evening for me! <3

Please read before continuing: I usually wouldn't write this much before my story but I wanted to add this: this story is my first full blown smut. I'm honestly not sure how well it will go over but I tried to make it as loving and healing as I could. I take my writing very seriously. I know sex for many is a touchy subject, and that truly pains me. I sincerely hope every single one of you reading this feels all the love and saftey I tried to incorporate into this peace. I wish you an eternity of love and healing. Be safe my loves!

Request: "Could u do a mikaelson boys x reader? Any plot really, but I’d very much love it if it was a bit more Kol focused. there’s just such a lack of content for all three of them and I love your writing so much. If u need any plot point ideas maybe a movie night kinda thing? I really hold him a bit higher than the other boys. Or something similar to the fic with the Klaus + Eli being injured? Fluffy ending please, smut is fantastic too 🖤"

Description: Y/n is upset that the boys won't let her come on their mission with them, feeling isolated and useless. Kol is supposed to stay behind and watch out for her however things get heated after she tells him off.

Pairing: The Mikaelson Boys x Fem!Reader, mainly Kol and Elijah

Warnings: THIS IS AN 18+ ONLY FIC!!! This is a full blown smut, I honestly do not know how it happened, probably 4000/5000 words are pure sex scenes, also there's a bit of fighting/angst at the beginning of the first scene but it doesn't last

Word count: 5343 (I'm so sorry)

Tags: ANGST, SMUT (full on), FLUFF

(Pics aren't mine but the moodboard is :) )

“I really don’t see why you guys are leaving me behind, again,” you run an agitated hand through your hair, huffing indignantly at the two boys in front of you.

Yes, boys. Not men. If they aren't going to treat you like the full grown woman you are then no way in hell are you going to give them any validation either. Even in your head.

“It’s too dangerous,” Elijah’s chocolate eyes are stern, his hands clenching at his sides, “I can’t risk the witches doing anything to you as a way to get to us. You’re too important.”

Your chest warms slightly at his words but it isn’t enough to break down your resolve. Three hundred years under your belt; they’re going to need to do better than that if they want to keep you away. There are only so many times you can stay away from a fight, only so many times you can watch them come home hurt knowing that if you had gone with them then maybe you could have prevented it. You’re a family and you’re tired of feeling like you aren’t pulling your weight.

You narrow your eyes at the tall boy, still not man, trying to peer through all the red you’re seeing, “I’m not a child, Elijah.”

He stares right back, not backing down, his face cut like marble, unwavering. Beautiful but harsh. Stone. He wears a white shirt, the first button popped and the sleeves rolled to his forearms. His veins are prominent and tempting. Elijah means business. You swallow the lump in your throat, pushing away the heat growing in your stomach.

“Love, trust me, we know you aren't a child. Any other time I would gladly rip you upstairs and prove it. Right now, though, I agree with him. You’re staying here,” Klaus’ softer voice pulls your attention from your staring match with the eldest Mikaelson.

He has a leather jacket on, the material clinging tight to his arms, ready to burst. He’s smiling but it doesn’t reach his crystal eyes. He folds his arms neatly in front of him. He’s not going to budge either.

You scoff at him, shaking your head, “I want to come, Klaus. I need to.”

A new voice joins the three of you in the foyer, “I can make that happen, darling, but you’ve got to stay home with me if you want that.”

You don't even need to turn around to hear the smirk on Kol’s voice but you do anyway, meeting the youngest Mikaelson face to face. He has a grin on his lips, one that, in any other situation, would have you weak in the knees. He has a sweatshirt on and a pair of sleep shorts. He’s on babysitting duty, he doesn’t need anything else. You only roll your eyes at him before facing Elijah once more.

“I’m part of this family, too, you know. It should be my choice,” you have to will your voice not to crack, keeping your tone as low and as steady as you can, “I’m not useless, Elijah, as much as you’d obviously disagree.”

You rub your hands over your bare arms, fending off a sudden chill. You feel like there’s ice coursing through your veins. A traitorous tear tracks down your cheek but you make no move to get it. Elijah’s hardened face softens when he notices.

“Baby, come on,” he reaches to grab you but you step back, not allowing him to touch you.

He can’t do that, make the decisions for you. Maybe if you were still human it would be called for but now it’s not. Sure, you aren't a millennium like they are but you’re not a piece of glass either. You’re strong, whether they want to acknowledge it or not.

“Don’t, Elijah,” you back away further, your cheeks drenched but your eyes fierce, “I’ll see you guys in a few days. Be safe.”

You turn and walk away, ignoring all three brothers as they call out to you, heading up to your room before any of them decide to follow you. You close the door, not slamming it but not exactly shutting it gently either. You can hear Elijah sigh from the front hall and you know he’s tugging on his hair. Klaus swears, his frustrated voice floating up to your ears. More tears fall but you brush them away angrily, lifting a pillow from your bed and screaming into it. No doubt they can hear it but, right now, you couldn't care less. The front door shuts and your heart plummets.

You sit on the edge of your bed, gripping your dark comforter tightly. Usually you like being the one they take care of. You like being held, how small they make you feel. Right now, though, it’s too much.

A soft knock draws your attention to the door, Kol’s careful voice cutting through the wood, “darling?”

“Leave me alone, Kol,” you try your best to make your words harsh but you only sound tired.

“Not likely, love,” he presses, “you know I can go all night, now it’s up to you what that means.”

Your cheeks flush and, as if he can see you through the door, he chuckles. The sound echos through your chest, stirring the remains of anger and frustration and mixing them with something hot and untamed. You pull the door open, coming face to face with the smirking Mikaelson.

“Sorry you landed with babysitting duty, Kol, but I’ve kept myself alive for three hundred years now and I’m pretty sure I can handle two more days on my own. Why don’t you go help Elijah and Klaus, yeah? Seeing as you are the only three who can actually do any good. I’m clearly not strong enough to do anything so I’ll just sit here and look pretty and do absolutely nothing at all because I’m useless. Okay?”

With that you close the door in his face. Well, you try to but he wedges his body in the way so you can’t shut him out. Whatever smile had previously been on his face is long gone and in its place sits a deep frown. His brown eyes ice over slightly and he stands taller than he did mere seconds ago. You can feel a switch in the atmosphere and suddenly you’re face to face. You honestly can’t tell which one of you is more pissed off.

“So that’s how you want to play this, love,” he pushes closer to you, “you want to get angry, yeah? Alright darling, I can do that.”

You open your mouth to protest but before any profanities can fly out his lips are on yours, fierce and strong. He uses his foot to kick the door closed, slamming it into place. It’s done merely for effect. No one is home but the two of you. He spins you around aggressively, pushing you roughly against the hardwood. His teeth sink into your bottom lip, no doubt drawing blood. As if on cue a copper taste fills your mouth, drowning your senses in red. This time, though, the anger is mixed with a wicked kind of lust.

Your hands find his hair without your permission, tugging harshly at the roots. He groans into your mouth, a sound that makes you want to slap him across the face and wrap your legs around him all the same. His hand snakes around your waist, squeezing your hip with a fervour that will no doubt leave bruises that will take longer than usual to heal. He pushes against you, every single part of him rock hard.

“God fucking damnit, Kol,” his lips find your throat with painful ease, sucking the sensitive skin into his mouth in a way thats just this side of painful over pleasurable.

Right now, though, you crave every bit of pain that Kol lays on you. In a sick way you’re proving that you can take it. That you’re strong enough to do the things that they do. Another flash of red floods your vision when you think of the other two Mikaelson's who refused to let you help. You drag one of your hands down Kol’s back, scratching hard enough for him hiss against your neck.

He jerks away from you quickly, only long enough to rip the sweatshirt over his head before he attacks your neck again. He sinks his teeth in at the same moment he rips your tank top in half, lulling you into that sweet mixture of pleasure and pain, hate and lust once more. His shoulders are deliciously toned under your searching fingers and this time when you drag your nails down his back you know you draw blood. Serves him right anyway.

“Fuck, baby,” he wraps a hand around both of your wrists, pinning your hands above your head, “that kinda hurt.”

You want to claw the smirk off of his face. Or kiss it. You can’t quite decide. His other hand is slowly sliding up your back, inching towards the clasp of your bra. His eyes burn into yours, the inferno behind them nothing less than intense. Your heartbeat pounds in your ears so loud it’s almost hypnotic when combined with the tantalizing draw of his hand. It lulls you into a false sense of security, your eyelids heavy in anticipation. He stops moving when his fingers are about to undo the hooks.

He pushes his hips closer to yours, locking you between his body and the door. His stomach is hot against yours and cut like marble. Your fingers itch to feel every bump and dip with agonizing intricacy. Every inch of your skin is alight, every hair raised waiting for anything to happen. You can feel every breath he takes as if it’s your own, your covered breasts just barely grazing him with each rise and fall of his chest. It’s delicious torture.

“Before we go any further here, I need to know what you want. Do you want some quick fuck that’s going to leave you more angry when it’s done?” He rolls his hips against yours, sending sparks flying through your body at the first real touch you’ve had tonight, “or do you want me to make love to you like you know I can. And make all these terrible feelings go away. It’s your choice, darling?”

His words tangle and knot in the pit of your stomach, weaving through the white hot hatred that had been building in your stomach until it explodes. They hit you right at the source like missiles aimed with the utmost precision to destroy every bit of anger left in you. Tears prickle at the edge of your vision, your senses overloaded from the sudden loss of your fury. All that’s left in its wake is this gut wrenching feeling of not being good enough. It’s the original problem and he just effortlessly broke through to it.

“I,” you tug your bruised lip between your teeth, if only to keep it still, “make it go away, Kol. Please.”

“That’s all I want to do, darling.”

He releases your wrists, opting instead to haul your body into his arms and slamming his lips against yours once more. You waste no time running your freed fingers down his sculpted chest, admiring the way his muscles tense as he holds you up. You push yourself as close to his body as you can get, wrapping your legs around his taught stomach and clinging on for dear life. He kisses you slowly, as if drawing all the negative energy out of your body with his lips.

He walks the two of you backwards towards your bed, sitting on the edge, leaving you straddling his hips in the most delicious way. You push your hips to bring you closer together, wanting to feel every part of him that you can. He meets every movement with his own energy, wrapping an arm around you back to keep you pressed against him. Your body is warming up once more in his arms.

He pulls his lips from yours reluctantly, his hand snaking back to the clasp on your back, “this needs to go.”

You shiver at the light touch of his fingertips on your spine, arching with the click of the hooks coming undone. He pulls the lace from your chest slowly, his thumbs grazing down your arms, memorizing every inch of skin he can get his hands on. His eyes meet yours again and he drops the fabric on the ground next to your bed. His hands, now resting on your hips, trail fire up your stomach as they trace their way over your ribs.

“Kol, please,” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, reveling in the warmth of his chest so close to your own, “I need you.”

There’s a glint in his eye again but this time you don’t want to slap him. No this time you want him to do heavenly things to every part of you. You want him to take the last remains of this awful feeling and snuff it out with his mouth. His hands finally crest the remainder of your ribcage, his thumbs teasing the underside of your breasts with tantalizingly careful circles. Tears sting your vision again from all the pent up energy inside of you.

“What shall I do, darling,” his thumbs draw along the sides of your breasts, stoking the untameable fire in the pit of your stomach once more, “tell me how you want me to touch you.”

His fingers dance closer to their target, each stroke driving your brain further into it’s Kol induced frenzy. All you can see, all you can hear, all you can smell is the boy in front of you.

“Kol,” his name falls from your lips in a desperate moan, “please just do something, god.”

He chuckles, a sound that flows like honey and wraps around every inch of you like silk. His eyes sear into your own, daring you to break his stare but you don’t. You can’t

“Well I could do this.”

His thumbs roll over your hardened nipples, as if to punctuate his words, and you see stars. You don’t even try to stop the moans that tumble from your lips, turning to clay in his hands. You give him free reign to mould your body in any way he desires, as long as hands never leave your skin. He pinches each bud between his fingers gently, pulling more praises from deep within you. His eyes never leave your face, drinking in each expression with unashamed greed.

“Or maybe I could do this.”

You know what’s coming when he leans forward, It’s quite clear what his intentions are. However, what you aren’t expecting is for the first gentle nip to send you so violently crashing over the edge that you have to squeeze your thighs around him to avoid falling off the bed. He doesn’t stop when you cry out and you don't want him to. Every swirl of his tongue around your nipple sends you spiraling further into the sweet oblivion he’s created just for you. He rocks his hips against yours while his mouth assaults you, pressing the delicious hardness against you while you fall apart.

He detaches his lips from your lips when you start to come down from your high, kissing his way up your sternum, over your collar bone, before settling on your throat.

“So beautiful darling,” he pulls your skin into his mouth as if he didn't just get enough just moments ago, “so damn beautiful.”

You press down on his hard length again, pulling a groan from deep within his chest, “I want all of you, Kol. Please.”

That's all the encouragement he needs to flip the two of you over and lay you on your back. He kneels between your legs, hooking his thumbs in your plaid sleep shorts and pulling them off much faster than he had down with your bra. He’s more than warmed up now, something that excites you to no end. You’re left laying in a pair of black lace panties that match the bra on your floor.

Kol’s eyes go dark at the sight, a growl that hardens your nipples again rumbling through the air. He leans down, pressing a kiss to the inside of your thigh before pulling the lace off of you once more and adding it to the growing pile of clothes. He kisses the junction of your thigh next, sending electricity rippling through your body. It restarts the heat once more and the familiar wildfire rips through your abdomen. You’re not sure if you’ll be able to stand many more orgasms if each one is to be like the first.

“Please just make love to me, Kol, I need to feel you.”

He lifts his head from your thighs, a sight that you will never grow tired of, and his eyes set ablaze, “I was made for nothing more.”

Your heart flutters rapidly in your chest, a warmth spreading like butter over your bones. He kicks his own shorts and boxers off quickly, moving back up your body to rest between your legs. You drink in the heat radiating off his body, allowing it to soothe the remaining ache leftover from your small throw down. His one hand slips under your head, lacing through your hair gently. The other reaches between you, lining himself up against your opening. The slightest touch of him against you is enough to have you mewling his name already.

He teases you slightly, taking his sweet time before pushing in. The first thrust is pure magic, filling you in the way that only Kol can. Each of you boys feel different. Kol lights every one of your nerves on fire with his slow movements. He makes you feel every deliberate movement. He makes you know that every circle of his hips, every time he joins you together is done to perfection exactly how he intends. Kol makes you aware of your entire body and just how much control he has over it.

He pulls back slowly before thrusting back inside of you hard enough to rock your bed into the wall. You clench around him without warning, pulling your name from his lips with mouthwatering ease and sending small shocks through your lower half.

“Christ, baby,” he rocks his hips deeper into yours, burying himself all the way inside you, “how are you so close again already.”

You giggle quietly from underneath him, wrapping your legs around his hips and rolling your own to meet his thrusts. Your hands glide over his shoulders, soothing the scratches you left earlier. You draw his face to your own, pulling his lips down to graze yours. You want him to feel every word you say.

“Don’t play coy, you know exactly what you’re doing,” the end of your sentence is blurred with unrelenting moans.

His hand grabs your leg, pushing your knee to your chest before pushing you into the mattress with a world altering thrust, “you’re right darling, I just like to hear you say it.”

He closes the gap between your lips with another shattering push, your walls clenching harder than before around him again. You swallow each moan that slips from his mouth and into yours. His nutmeg scent clings to you and you know it will take days to scrub him off of you, not that you want to. You could very well spend the next century wrapped up in Kol in every single way possible.

He picks up the pace, slamming into you with controlled ease. Your hands lace through his hair, keeping him as close to you as possible. Your senses are overwhelmingly heightened, allowing you to feel every damned inch of him. You’re in serious danger of falling apart. The fiery ball in your stomach is at its peak once more. When he pulls your lip between his teeth, and you taste the crimson, it explodes.

This time you don't just see stars, you see the sun and the moon and every planet in the solar system. He continues to move in and out of you, drawing out the intensity of your orgasm as he rides his own out. You cling to him with everything you have, refusing to breathe anything but Kol. Everything in this moment is about him and the way he makes you feel. Nothing else matters anymore. Perhaps nothing even mattered before. All there is, all there has ever been, is this one moment.

When you finally land back on earth, he slowly pulls out of you, giving you one last taste of electricity before drawing you to lay on his chest. Your ears ring from the energy you just exerted at Kol’s mercy, your skin deliciously sticky against his own. You're completely and undeniably spent.

You don’t realize that you’re crying until you go to speak, “Kol.”

You feel the sharp inhale he takes rather than hear it. Before you can blink the fresh wave of tears away he’s flipped you around, laying between your legs again and propped up on his elbows. His face is pure concern, his eyebrows creased together in a way that makes you want to smooth every harsh line away. It makes you cry that much harder.

“Darling, talk to me,” he runs a soothing hand down your thigh, pulling you close to him, “what’s wrong baby?”

The tears pour faster at the gentle tone in his voice, drawing an answer to the surface before you even process what you’re saying, “Do they think I’m useless? Do you?”

Your voice is shattered, all the emotions from today coming together in yet another crescendo. You can hear your blood rushing through your ears, drowning out the sounds around you. It’s probably the reason you miss the footsteps pounding up the stairs. You can feel Kol’s soft caresses but just barely. The only thing registering in your mind is the feeling of being completely and utterly weak. Why do they keep you around if you can’t even hold your own?

“God’s no, never. Not even a little bit,” just as Kol speaks, the door opens.

Well, the door slams open, hitting the wall with a crack that echoes through the large house. Kol isn’t startled. He should be but he doesn’t even flinch at the bang. You, on the other hand, tense underneath him, the pounding in your ears still as intense as before. A woodsy scent flows through the now open doorway, pine mingling with your already nutty skin. The pieces start clicking together, albeit at a slower pace than you like.

You’re almost certain you know who’s in the doorway but you look anyway to make sure, “Elijah.”

His name is a whisper and it gets lost under Elijah's own words, his dark eyes searing into yours, “Kol, do you mind giving us a moment?”

Kol glances down at you, a small smile playing on his lips. You plead with him to stay but this is Kol, he’s your hell-raiser. He places a soft kiss on your forehead before he stands, still completely naked, and walks out of the room.

He pauses on the other side of the door, settling a hand on his brother’s shoulder, “careful brother, she scratches.”

Elijah shuts the door when he leaves, much gentler than he had been when opening. Your boys, always the ones for theatrics. He leans against the frame, folding his arms over his chest. You stand from the bed, trying to meet his height but failing. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand but it doesn’t do much to clear the droplets. He tracks your every movement with a fire raging behind his chocolate eyes. You’re painfully aware of how much of your skin is on display for him; that is, all of it.

“What,” you pause when your voice cracks, stealing a moment to compose yourself, “what are you doing here? You’re supposed to be off saving the day.”

He pushes off the door, taking a few steps towards you. You can see he's fighting back a lot of primal instincts. He's as affected by your lack of clothes as you are. His eyes shift rapidly between his usual brown and a deeper coal colour. Despite the situation, you can’t help the heat seeping from between your thighs. He stops a few feet in front of you. There’s no way he can’t smell you right now.

“I was needed elsewhere,” his eyes dip down momentarily, his jaw clenching, “by someone infinitely more important.”

You watch him squeeze his fists together, forcing his eyes to remain on yours. The determination in them is unwavering and fierce. He takes another step towards you.

“It seemed important a few hours ago,” you drop your eyes to your feet, breaking his stare.

He grabs your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him and, in turn, igniting your body, “I assure you it was not nearly as important as making sure that you’re ok.”

Your throat tightens, aching with the promise of even more tears. You wish you could just stop. You’re not afraid to cry but usually you can control it. Right now you can’t. Everything has been building, every little insecurity has pooled, and today was the chip in the damn needed to make the whole thing collapse. It’s too much.

“I’m not,” you wrap your arms tight around yourself, gripping your arms with bruising strength to try and hold back the tremors, “ I am not okay Eli. I feel so helpless. Everytime you come home bleeding and exhausted and where am I?” You run a trembling hand through your mussed hair, yanking at the roots, “Here. Always just here, useless, letting you and Klaus and Kol take it all for me. Am I really that weak? That I’m just extra collateral damage to worry about? What is it, Elijah?”

The words pour from you, each one making him flinch like he’s being hit by an invisible enemy. Every syllable is a bullet to his chest. His body tenses further, his eyes no longer holding any trace of their usual warm brown. Instead they're pitch black, the veins under his eyes a deep plum. The veins in his arms pop as well, his fists iron tight. He curses under his breath when you finish. His voice is gravelly and scrapes the deepest pit of your soul.

He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, whatever resolve he had been clinging to snaps. He pulls you towards him, wrapping his strong hands around your hips and lifting you against him, giving you a second to wrap your bare legs around his clothed hips.

“Elijah, what are you doing?” You cling to his chest, trying to avoid tumbling out of his arms when he begins walking you towards your bed once more.

He doesn't answer your question, laying you down against your ruffled comforter, “You aren’t collateral damage, baby.”

His voice is the lowest you’ve ever heard it, emanating from somewhere deep inside him. He opens the first few buttons of his shirt, pulling it up and over his head before making it even halfway down his chest. He drops it, much like he Kol had not long before, next to your bed. Kicking off his shoes, he kneels on the bed, coming to rest between your thighs. The heat emanating from you is now a furnace and it in no way goes unnoticed by him. His dark eyes swim across your naked body, drinking in every inch.

“Eli-” whatever you’re going to say is obliterated when he leans down and attaches his lips to the crook of your thigh, dangerously close to being exactly where you need him.

“You aren't weak,” he moves to your other thigh, nipping at the delicate skin and pulling unintelligible murmurs from your throat.

He kisses his way to your center, the anticipation growing like a knot in your stomach, begging to be unraveled once more. Even in the midst of falling apart you can’t get enough of these men. He lays a soft kiss against you, offering you the slightest glimpse of what you know his mouth can do. In the exact same way you had with Kol earlier, every part of you craves Elijah.

Your body arches willingly to meet the first swipe of his tongue, his name falling from your lips like a praise, “you aren't a burden to me, you beautiful creature.”

You cry out as he works his mouth expertly against you, his words humming ecstasy into your skin, melting away any trace of doubt in your mind. His arms wrap around your thighs, bringing you as close to his face as he can get you. The sight of him completely engulfed in your heat is almost enough alone to send you tumbling right there and then over the edge.

“You mean more to me than anything else on this fucking earth,” his dark eyes meet yours as he works you dangerously close to breaking before letting up once more, “and if I have to spend every hour for the next hundred years worshipping you to prove it then consider it done.”

He lowers his mouth against you harder, sucking your electrified warmth with renewed vigour. Your hands seek out his hair, tugging him against you and raising your hips to meet every pass of his tongue. The smell of pine trees and sex envelope you, brining you the closest yet to the kind of high only Elijah can draw from you. In this moment you’re nothing more than entirely his.

“I cannot lose you, baby,” he slips a few of his fingers inside you, “please let me protect you. I need to. Please.”

He curls his fingers just as the last syllable rolls off his tongue and into your core, shattering you into a million tiny pieces. Your hands fist his hair as your body clenches around his hand, pulling a delectable groan from his lips. Your third orgasm almost puts you to sleep on the spot, each of your muscles completely exhausted. Elijah watches you come undone the entire way through, nothing less than reverent awe locked on his face.

He wastes no time pulling your spent body into his arms, wrapping you as close to him as he can manage. You bury yourself against his neck, admiring how even the most unassuming parts of him have an undue amount of strength. He truly is your warrior.

“Eli,” you yawn into his chest, basking in the warmth of his skin, “I can protect myself.”

He tightens his arms around you, “I know you can, baby, but you shouldn't need to. I’ve been searching my entire life for a meaning. A thousand years of trying to be honorable. Then I found you and, all of a sudden, it all makes sense. All the searching and fighting and pain finally has a purpose: to protect you. Let me take it for you. Please.”

You’re speechless, there isn’t anything else to it. His words hit you with immense power, sinking into your skin and settling around your bones. You’re his, all of theirs, to watch over. You really didn't know he felt this strongly. You’ve always had to defend yourself. Perhaps you just aren't used to someone else being so willing to take on that task. Someone begging to take it.

He stands suddenly, with you still in his arms, and walks out of your room, starting down the hall. The faintest sound of rushing water fills your ears, lulling you into a welcome daze.

“Where are we going, Eli?” You have yet to open your eyes, stuck in the soft between being awake and falling asleep.

He kisses your forehead, resting his head on yours, “Niklaus said he wanted to take a bath, my love.”

#the originals #the vampire diaries #tvd #to #kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson x reader #the originals imagine #the vampire diaries imagine #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson x reader #klaus mikaelson imagine #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson smut #kol mikaelson smut #smut

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bondsmagii · 3 years

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Why do you think there are people that care so much about the fiction other people consume? I find it so wild. Like, I may not enjoy certain "taboo fiction" myself but I won't sit there and make it my personal mission in life to call people out for enjoying something I don't personally like? No one is being harmed. Its just fantasy. I don't understand. What must it be like to have that kind of energy, I wonder.

most of the time I attribute it to Shitty Little Bitch Syndrome, but I actually do have more well-rounded thoughts about this, I swear.

to put it as simplistically as possible, I think it's about control -- both over others, and over their own lives. there's been an increased attitude over the last several years in regards to purity, and a lot of people I think live in genuine fear or at least discomfort over the idea that they might be Bad People. some of these people associate with groups who are really deeply into this kind of thing (or hang out on websites where it's a prominent feature, such as Twitter or Tumblr), and other people have been on the fringes of it and have internalised the ideas. either way, it results in the same kind of attitude: that if you consume "problematic" media, you're exposed to "problematic" thoughts, and this, essentially, corrupts you.

of course, most people realise that humans are capable of logical and critical thinking, and when we're exposed to new thoughts or ideas we're capable of assessing them and analysing them and working out if this is something we agree with or not. unfortunately, the increased reliance on groupthink and buzzwords has rendered a lot of people incapable or at least hesitant to do this, so they repeat what they know to be safe or they simply say nothing at all. meanwhile, those people who are more heavily involved in this kind of thing will be up close and personal to people who are absolutely militant about it, and they will seek to do anything they can to assure these people that they're still on the Right Side. the militants, on the other hand, are doing it strictly for power -- I doubt any of them truly believe the bullshit they come out with, but they believe in it enough to get a rush out of publicly shaming the problematic masses, and that's probably kind of addicting when you're a loser.

basically these people are incapable of telling fiction from reality, and they judge everyone by their own standards. they can't read a story involving rape without thinking that it's supporting rape by the mere mention of it, so they assume nobody else can. therefore, if you read stories that include rape and enjoy the story, you must support rape. if you write stories that include rape, you must be a rapist -- or at least, you want to be. to them it's simple. for everyone else it's utterly absurd.

an offshoot of this idea is also the cult of vulnerability that is so prevalent in purity culture circles. those who are most oppressed are most removed from responsibility and are most Correct, therefore everybody must acquiesce to their demands. if you don't, you are therefore responsible for deliberately triggering them, not caring about trauma, wanting to see them personally hurt, etc. reading stories with nasty things in it means you support those nasty things and hate victims. this ripples out to the people on the outskirts of these groups who realise that to be seen engaging with anything remotely uncomfortable might make them one of these voyeuristic assholes who loves to gorge themselves on the suffering of these vulnerable victims, so they immediately start shouting down anything that could be seen as remotely uncomfortable. this could be stories with mature themes, or even things that don't have a happy ending. it's all an attempt to make themselves look pure of ideology and sensitive of spirit. basically, it's to cover their ass.

unfortunately, a lot of people live in some measure of fear of these people, because they can be absolutely rabid in their harassment. a lot of people, understandably, have an aversion to being called a rapist or a transphobe or a paedophile, but if you sincerely break down what the accusation is and remove it from the terminally online and into a situation where people are more normal, you'll quickly realise that nobody with a brain cell would take any of it seriously. I've literally lost count of the amount of times I've been called some various name because of the stories I like, and I literally do not care. don't debate with these people, don't engage, just block them and move on. you cannot argue with stupid.

#anon #asks

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zalrb · 2 years

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Yes! I totally agree and love your posts in your masterlists about the visceral places Stefan and Elena can get to them both being dominant and always touching and always wanting to communicate that love with a sincere, intense, desperation, and then them as vampires we got such great scenes and they didn't even have sex yet. Because the sirebond ;excuse my language cock blocked them man that sucked. And I definitely agree that Stelena is not a dark ship like don't get me wrong I would have been so down to see them both together with no humanity see that dynamic how they work it out together see them have some fun then eventually they come back to themselves together. I also love that you caught how Stefan and Elena are both kind of the same as vampires with and without their humanity both of their bluntness and taking stuff from their victims like that would be interesting and I love your idea of how you would've written them with no humanity. Anyways I just really agree with you that Stefan and Elena are the type that inspire strength and hope in each other they don't drain it from the other they encourage the other to live. You truly understand that their not codependent they both help each other see the beauty in the world, experience the reality of a bad situation and how their is always a better way to move on from it that they always got each other hence how you always talk about the ferris wheel just love how much you get them it's truly refreshing and a very beautiful thing, you are a gifted writer I hope you know. And I've been reading the Jonsa fics LOVE them. Hope you and intimuseries are well:) also sorry their may be a lot of typos my phone is still on that stupid shit lol take care:)

No worries, thanks for the message :)

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seasurfacefullofclouds1 · 3 years

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I can't stop thinking about how that one anon said they feel like they need to shower after seeing whatever sleazy new shit harry does. I've distanced myself from him these last few months since becoming a solo louie. I honestly don't care what happens with his career or personal life. I block his content on sm. But as louis' career and life will always be connected with him to an extent (and never in a good way ofc) it's impossible to not learn about him even passively. And every time it's emotionally upsetting and weighs my mood down a bit. I could not care less about him but there's this sense of betrayal and angry bitterness everytime. I guess it's really like a shitty ex who you sincerely loved but turned out to be the worst person but they never get held accountable for their actions or you never got closure for how much you emotionally suffered. I know it's silly since being a fan really is a one sided thing and this other person is all you make of them but it's still how I feel. I still dedicated a lot of myself to support somebody they pretended to be and I feel really stupid and sad about that. I just needed to vent, sorry.

No, that’s alright. We’ll never truly know what happened, and Louis has always gone high, having the maturity and restraint to keep private grievances private (whether it’s personal relationships or career-related events).

Harry is saturated everywhere. I hear his music at work and good friends of mine have pre-teen girls that love him.

But his product is not good. His music doesn’t move people, and it won’t last. His actions and brand are fake as can be. There is virtually nothing authentic about him.

Larries (and others) will say, “There’s nothing real about any celebrity,” but that’s just not true. Louis’ actions are consistent, and his values are consistent. What he says and does don’t change day-to-day, depending on what his minions scour on fan pages. Louis is truly kind, not only kind when he has to sell something, or when someone’s watching.

One of them wrote an album full of love for the LGBT community with no gender pronouns. One of them writes about “skirts too short to bring home to mother” and cunnilingus, but waves rainbow flags on stage.

Larries also say, “Harry is shy because fame and fandom changed him, and made him claw back his privacy.”

But that’s not really true either. Louis is truly private. He was missing most of last year, popping up only to thank fans or announce a career change or voice support for charity. We don’t know where he was, what he did.

Harry sells his privacy to the highest bidder. The books he “reads” are publicity. His clothing is publicity. His friendships are publicity. Even his family’s “leaks” of Hendall and Xarry and Hazoff photos are all publicity.

They are as different as possible, with opposing values, with no sign of friendship for the past two years, and although they state they have “mutual respect,” only one of them behaves respectfully.

I suspect that in two or three years, their careers and their fandoms will be vastly different than what they are now, much better for Louis, and good but in a different way for Harry. Harry will be an all-around entertainer whose hype is more than his substance, but there will still be a lot of hype. Louis will have found his audience. Larries will not be a big part of any of that, because HSHQ will not need them anymore.

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serenityseventeen · 3 years

Text

Love & Letter: To The Thirteen Boys I've Loved Before

The Thirteenth Letter

----------------

To: Lee Chan

From: Y/N

How are you, Chan?

I feel like I've seen this kind of storyline before. A summer romance that ends with you ghosting me.

I've been looking for work as I've told you before summer ended. I wonder what you are doing now. Now that the summer dance club where we met is closing, I can't see you anymore. You don't answer my calls either which leaves me to assume that you and I weren't dating seriously.

Gosh, I should have seen the red flags when you and I seemed to progress too fast into our relationship; but I just ignored them because you had me flipped out, falling for you head over heels. The way you spoke to me, smiled at me, gazed at me, the way you acted around me, I was convinced that you were just confidently liking me.

To begin this strange love story, should I start from the beginning, Chan?

Well, I graduated from grad school with my degree. I noticed that I was gaining a bit of weight so to try and burn it off, I joined this summer dance club. You were one of the members and immediately, when I spotted you practicing in front of the people, with confidence, your moves swift, I was amazed. I didn't expect that someone like you would fall for me.

Chan, you look like a genuine, passionate dancer. You told me that you've been dancing all your life and from that first impression, I was able to tell that.

When I joined the dancing club, I had not danced in a while. Yet, you taught me with so much care. I didn't ask for your help but you approached me first whenever I was struggling to learn a choreography. You taught me head-on and took the lead.

Your leadership skills are also amazing, Chan.

Before we both knew it, we were learning and practicing for long hours in the summer, sweat trickling down the sides of our heads to the point where our hair was wet. Your hair was wet from sweat a lot of the time but to me, you looked extremely masculine and handsome that way. We practiced so much that it was nighttime by the time both of us decided to call it a day. We were usually the only ones left.

Before we started dating, you would always give me water and wipe my sweat for me. It hadn't even been two weeks of getting to know each other when we had our first kiss in the practice room.

You and I were exhausted and leaning against the wall, sipping water.

“This is fun,” I commented.

I know you probably don't know, but I noticed you staring at my lips. I just didn't want to say it out loud in fear of ruining the nice atmosphere. The air conditioner was blasting cool air and since I was feeling so sticky, I just closed my eyes and let the floating cool air brush over my skin.

I don't know what you were doing but I'll guess that you were staring at my lips; because that's when I felt a pair of soft lips press onto mine. I was flustered at first, having your arm block all my possible exits, leaving me in your enclosed space. Our lips locked for a few seconds before I pulled you in closer, deepening the kiss. I placed my hands on your jaw, caressing you gently as your kisses became more passionate. It just felt like the right thing to do as my heart burned with fluttering butterflies.

Since it was summer, we both had quite a lot of time on our hands, but from time to time, I had to study too. I'm planning to start training in my line of work soon.

Well, we were able to hang out around each other a lot. I, believing you liked me, treated you like my boyfriend. You treated me like your significant other. We were dating. You behaved so sweetly around me, showering me with soft kisses on my cheek, surprise dates. Spending time with you was fun and wild.

When people left the practice room, we would linger with the practice being our excuse, but then I would be sitting down on your thighs, facing you, my arms wrapped around your shoulders and your hands holding my hips. We would be kissing, making out, cuddling.

I enjoyed every second of it. I was falling for you fast, I was falling for you hard.

What about you?

How did you feel about me?

Sometimes, I would find it strange how easily you told me that you liked me, and every time, it sounded genuine. Whenever you're walking me home on a hot summer night, you always tell me that you like or love me before you leave. I would say the same back to you.

I don't think you're a fuckboy or something like that. You seem way too innocent for that. To me, you seemed like a mischievous boy that was also a masculine man.

At the same time though, what we had seemed to be mainly physical.

No, sorry. I shouldn't be thinking of it that way.

You and I spent a lot of time together and with you, I was very happy. I was able to forget about anything hard and just have fun, in the moment, with you. Whether it was me straddling you on the couch, us sleeping together, waking up together, cooking together, I was happy through it all. We had fun and refreshing summer dates at the beach playing in the water, splashing waves at each other before you pull me in and give me a passionate kiss with the golden summer sunset in the back.

But now, I start to realize everything; from the incredibly fast pace of our relationship and the way we found joy in our physical desires. Now, I realize it.

In the end, I barely know who you are, Chan. You never really talked about yourself. You told me a few things, like how you had a younger brother, how you wanted to become an idol, how you dreamed of performing on stage, but during those summer months we spent together and dated, we were still learning about each other. You were learning about me and I was learning about you.

Yet, the way you treated me and made me feel special makes me sure that I do love you. I probably love you more than you love me but, of course, I can never know that.

I can't reach you now and it seems as if your number was fake all along. I don't see you in the places we used to hang out. When I asked the dance club members, it seemed like they knew more than I did about my boyfriend, but every answer was different.

Some told me that you auditioned for a company and got accepted.

Some told me that you were already a trainee.

Some told me that your family was planning to move.

Some told me that you were continuing your life as usual but didn't specify any details.

I don't know what to believe. If you are an idol trainee then, well, good for you. I guess I was just something to fulfill your desires that had been kept inside for a long time. If you got accepted, well, good for you again. I hope you debut since it's always been your dream.

If you're purposely ignoring me, I don't know why you would, but as you can see, I have a few theories. If you didn't love me back, you could have just told me that you wanted a summer fling instead of a summer romance and relationship because then, I would have rejected you firmly.

Were our memories nothing to you?

We never properly broke up either, why is it that you're suddenly ignoring me? Where did you go off to? Are you ghosting me? Why did you suddenly disappear like that? Did you never love me? Was our relationship nothing?

I have so many questions, why won't you answer them?

I'm afraid that the person I loved wasn't the person I loved at all. I hope that you didn't lie to me.

If we ever meet again, what would you say? What would you say to my sincerity? What would you do?

I hope that you can remember these memories just as much as I will. I hate thinking that I was just an escape for you, a goat that you used to fulfill your desires. If you really are who I know, then I won't have any doubts that you would remember everything.

Chan, you seem like a pure guy. You never really lied to me. You would always play around with me, making me feel like a youngster in love. Just looking at your face, I could see the purity and curiosity you have within yourself.

Up until now, I will believe that you gave me all of you. I will continue to believe that you encountered something unfortunate or fortunate and now, we can't meet nor contact each other. I will continue to believe everything positive because I loved you.

I won't wait for you though, Chan.

I remember this one thing you told me, do you remember it too?

Now that I think about it, it seems like you asked that on purpose, perhaps foreshadowing your future disappearance.

We were leaning against a fence, watching the orange and purple ombre sunset and its reflection on the rippling waves of the ocean.

You had your arms warmly wrapped around my waist, your head buried in the crook of my neck, when you asked with a muffled voice, “If you had to wait for someone who was indefinitely coming back, what would you do?”

You kissed my neck softly with your gentle lips, tightening your hands. I felt my heart thump out of my chest.

“Hmm... I don't think I would wait.”

You seemed to be a bit surprised by my answer. I didn't think of this question as anything special then, just pure curiosity.

“Why not?” You asked, planting another kiss on my neck afterward.

“They are leaving and it's indefinite when they would come back. I wouldn't wait for them, when they come back, they just do. I shouldn't worry myself with waiting.”

You nodded gently and then brought your hand to my chin, kissing me again.

I'll do exactly as I said.

I won't wait for you. I loved you and since your comeback is indefinite, I'll also write this. I can't tell you it in person, so I can't get your answer, but I will consider it this way, even if you do appear in my life again.

My last words to you, who I can't reach.

I hope you're doing fine.

I'm breaking up with you.

Yours truly,

Y/N.

-----------------

7/14/21 - 10:19 am

a/n: GoSe today!!! I'm excited, I'll watch the episode when I eat! + I've finished this series, hooray! I'm sure one day, when I'm a better writer, I'll come back and possibly revise this. Thank you to everyone who read this series!

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yuvon-writes-letters · 3 years

Note

Hey guys,

Yu, Rai and both Jakes.

Actually..If I talk about my feelings I'm pretty well. Don't tell Jake I said that, but I couldn't be happier about our situation. I mean, we can talk again. Without me being kidnapped and finding a weird Tumblr profile of him. (Which we think was a set up by one of the entities of my world since he obviously doesn't have one. Jake thinks it was goldies doing, I on the other hand don't believe that. Don't ask me why, but it feels like goldie wouldn't do that. And it didn't help me either but only made problems. I was distracted because I was writing the profile (you read it, right Yu? I don't know about the others) and angry. Like, really angry.)

Putting that aside, Jake called me, like he promised :) And it was the longest phone call I had for some time. Most of the time I talked and he didn't get distracted once, just listened to me and everything that happened. And then he started cursing, which is kind of understandable. He apologised for being into stasis. And for this other version from before the 'time setting back' thing. Because I don't find a name I'll call it TSB from now on.

The only problem I have now is going to work, I guess I'll take me some vacation...But at least I'm not as scared of the raven-ass anymore. I mean, I still am, but in the moment I know his steps. And I am not alone.

Jake, I intentionally write the next part in red, please don't read it. That's for Yu.

I know you think that Jake sees you as a threat. If it still is like you wrote in the letter. Jake knows that, too and he doesn't like it. You know him better than I do, of course, but without saying too much...I think it's quite the opposite. Talk to him about that. Even though it's probably not the best circumstances I think he enjoys being with you :)

The next part, purple (damn, I need more coloured pens), is for you Jake.

You already told me that you don't like that Yu thinks you see her as a threat. I only have to say one thing, if it still is like that, talk to her about it. Earlier than later.

The new thoughts about the blood ritual are really interesting. But please don't put yourself in this danger (or not, but I think it's understandable what I mean?) if it isn't necessary. But I also agree with Rai, I thought the same thing for a while. That you desired having someone, Jake, with you. It sounds plausible.

What more was there...Wait, let me reread the letters.

Oh yeah, Rai! One, till now my crow crew seems to still be in stasis (Jake realised that now, too) and two..Please try to take care of your health, yeah? I'm worried for you.

Lis🐾🔥

Ps. Damn...I'm writing this exactly when I wanted to leave the house (I mean, I sadly cannot hide my face forever).

Two new things...I got a message. I mean, it was a threat (because I am the obviously the bad girl that kidnapped Hannah), but I don't care. Maybe that means the stasis is slowly dissolving!

But number 2...I didn't get the vacation. My boss called me almost immediatly. "Under no circumstances [a word is blacked out] Liska. We have July and Alice, Tim and Jenny all want to take free time, too. You are one of our best workers and we can't afford you leaving now. You have no children so you have to wait. Also Max told me that you don't have any problems in family."

So long story short: He wants me to be there tomorrow. Argh, if he would pay me like he's talking that would awesome. And I'll kill Max when I see him next time. (My cousin that thought it was fun to try and steal my work so we both got the rank of 'one of the best workers'. The only problem: Max' title is official. -.- Overall, I'm so much more annoyed than some time earlier. Maybe I should ask Jake for help

Lis,

Okay, the Crow Crew drama is fading a bit, so I'll answer this now. Sorry if I seem disjointed at all, I'm probably going to be going back and forth from conversations to this letter a lot. I can't afford to have them all think I'm compromised, I need to focus on getting out of here and I don't want to deal with their pressure on top of everything else.

Yeah, I don't think the Tumblr profile was Goldie either. Goldie seems to try to be very much a "hands off" sort of entity, like my own. The Tumblr profile thing seems a little out of character for at least my Jake. At least, publicly answering your submission certainly was, though he may have panicked since you sent it in on anon and answered publicly without really thinking about it. I guess I could see him having a Tumblr profile for purposes of following people on social media and watching what they post, though. And then deciding he likes the media and posting a little bit of impersonal things that can't lead back to him. Probably my Jake will say something about that when I hand this letter over to him, stay tuned.

Yeah, I at least read some of the things you sent that profile, and I showed what I had to my Jake too. I'm not sure if I read all of it, since it was a bunch of printed-out screenshots in an envelope, but I read the ask where you told him you hated him (fair at that point but ouch that's got to have hurt) up to when you said you'd found Hannah. After that you sent me your letter telling me time had turned back and the Tumblr screenshots ended.

I'm glad you and Jake managed to talk things out. I was sort of worried about how he'd react, but it sounds like he took it pretty well, considering. I'm... not exactly sure he should be apologizing for the stasis, though. Or the TSB!Jake. Maybe especially not the TSB!Jake. Jakes seem to be oddly different from timeline to timeline, just based on what I've seen of them. TSB has been one of the most different so far.

Oh. One thing I should mention that you might not have seen from the profile: The MWAF used your phone to mock the TSB account, and mentioned that TSB wasn't the only person who could hack, and the MWAF blocked TSB from finding your location. Might want to warn your Jake about that.

A vacation sounds like a good idea :/ It's really hard to go back to normal life right after tragedies or trauma. It feels like the world keeps moving on and you're still stuck in place, and you just want to scream at them that they need to slow down, can't they see that the world is

Good. I'm glad you don't feel alone. It's easier to deal with this stuff when you're with someone else, even if it's not physically.

(Jake, my Jake I mean, if you're reading over my parts of these letters skip to the ||| now please.) I'm not saying he doesn't also enjoy my company. I can tell he does. That doesn't make me not a threat. Like how early on I suspected Thomas, but still thought he was a nice guy and enjoyed talking to him. (Obviously I don't suspect him any more XD ) Still, if you think I should talk with him about it, I'll try to find a tactful way to bring it up.

Yes, because obviously tact is my greatest strength. Sigh.

Like I said to Rai, the underlying desire thing is definitely possible. That'd either mean I'm more obvious about how I feel for Jake than I think I am (very possible, I'm not great at hiding how I feel in person) or the entity has some level of telepathy/mind reading. The reason is that chessboard. Since Jake likes chess, it's clear at least to me the entity expected him to come here at some point. I THINK, if the underlying desire thing is true, I can manipulate myself into wanting specific things by doing things like writing it over and over and repeating it out loud when doing the ritual, but I'm not sure.

|||

It's probably good that your Crow Crew is in stasis, like how it's objectively probably good my outside life is going on without me. Less drama, less pressure.

Huh. The harassment is definitely a promising sign. Maybe you should try contacting Darkness again, same way as I suggested near the beginning? That feels so long ago, but it really can't have been much more than a week, can it?

You... didn't get the vacation. Fucking hell. Is there ANY way you can convince your boss? You really should have time off. Maybe your Jake can help you come up with ideas.

Or at least maybe he can come up with a way to have your boss give you a bonus for your trouble -_-

Oh shit Cleo's interrogating me I'm gonna hand this to Jake now

(The handwriting changes to Jake's.) Hello, Lis.

I agree with Yuvon: "TSB" acts markedly different from myself. There would be no benefit from me promising to be there to find you in the moment, and indeed I would have been falling for a very transparent trap. Even in my possible state of panic, I cannot see myself being there physically, much less revealing myself physically to authorities in the process, unless I was playing the role of bait in a counter-trap. While it is plausible that this was TSB's plan, TSB gave no indication that Yuvon or I could tell that this was the case. Of course, I would have done my best to be there physically in the aftermath of the kidnapping, but not in the moment.

I also agree that the Tumblr profile seems to be out of character for both myself and for "Goldie", though I hesitate to judge TSB's actions by what I myself would do. I seem to vary in surprising ways across universes and even from timeline to timeline, based solely on your current Jake's reactions thus far. I do actually own a Tumblr profile for the exclusive purpose of following social medias I wish to track, but I used a random username generator website for the username and not my own name, and I certainly never posted anything.

The news about the MWAF being able to hack is new to me; I must have missed that the first time I read through the screenshots. That is quite troubling. I suppose I will need to be more careful in future.

I am sincerely sorry your request for a vacation was rejected. I do not know how much you intend to separate your personal life and the Duskwood case, but if your stasis is truly wavering, you may be able to reveal some measure of the danger you are in to convince him to let you flee the area for a small while. Especially since you mentioned in your Tumblr post that you saw a raven note in your wor

Oh.

You need to leave that place. Now. Do not inform your employer of the danger you are in, reveal nothing to him or to anyone, take unpaid time off if you need to. Get your cousin and anyone else you care overly much about out of there too. Invalidate any information you can your employer or coworkers knows about you. Do not tell the truth to anyone, even your cousin. Make up any excuses you need to, ask your Jake for help with ideas if you need to. You may also wish to check that the coworkers your boss listed who are going on vacation are ACTUALLY going on vacation.

This is a priority, Liska. You need to tell your Jake all of this too, especially the part with the note in your workplace. You need to get out of there.

Good luck.

—Jake & Yuvon

(The letter tucks itself into the paper clip with the others.)

#duskwood letter game #yuvon writes letters #duskwood #duskwood game #duskwood everbyte #duskwood jake #lis

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miyiee · 4 years

Text

“TOMINO”

Written By: Miyie 〴

(Disclaimer! Please do not read if you are someone who is easily disturbed, make sure you are over 13 to read this content may include violence, alcohol, abuse, and blood, Thank you!) This is not your typical horror genre, it truly describes real-life “horror.” I really wanted to bring out these situations, as there are many out there who suffer from these.) -Miyie 〴

It’s only imaginary, it’s something so forfeit, something you cannot deliberately see.

………...See, I once had this friend, it was only engraved in my mind, not necessarily sincere nor significant to me, someone that was so authentically cruel, but yet I followed…..

A bird caged-girl, as she started to plug her ears to block out the interphone chime, I am fighting with an enemy I couldn’t even see, even till the end I was leading myself to a truly unseemly thing. A leash clings on my neck, each step, each walk, each breath I took. I am always being watched by someone, something.

Who, you may ask? My imaginary friend. “And, it has been that way for years.”

“Free me, lift me from my guilt.” If it were only so simple.

1/2/1981

Ever since the day I was born into this world, I have always been those principles of innocence, my mother, my father always checked up on me to make sure I wasn’t doing anything bad and they would always find me quite strange for a child. You see, I was always talking to the wall, in the same position. “Look! Mommy, isn’t he nice?” Yes. Tomino loved me deeply, there was no doubt, but you see, this love was a strange one and cannot be explained. “Sure, whatever you say, Hika.” She leaned down and pet me on the head. Of course to her extent, mother would never believe such nonsense...I always thought Tomino was there, someone everyone else could also see…...

Not just me.

…...

2/18/1988

One day as my mother was going out to head for groceries, I stopped her, no Tomino stopped her, he

told me to.

“Please just don’t go today, I would like you to just stay with me.”

The day after, it was reported, documented on the news of an incident that happened to be the same street my mother was just going to head to, xxx street of Zemark, a shooting happening between two drunk white men, about 12 people had either died that day, 9 injured within that store. These sorts of incidents would occur several times after then on any random day. “That excuse again?” Tomino this, Tomino that.” Mother would often say to me out of frustration. She couldn’t understand why her daughter was acting this certain way after all.

Was I really that childish or…. Did I speak the truth?

But, you see, such kindness comes with a price.

A promise that was forged.

I spend the days with Tomino, we play together, talk together for hours, I drew and wrote on his requests, but one day, it seems he has gotten quite bored of my childish acts and lingers for a little more fun and excitement. He threw my painting on the floor in anger, “So what do you want me to do then?”I asked. I wished I didn’t have asked, maybe then I wouldn’t need to do whatever he said..…. It was a little dark outside for a spring season while taking multiple glances towards outside the window. He told me to “Go outside and stab this helpless squirrel with a kitchen knife, smear its blood around in a circle on this painting, and to finally make a box around it in the sand with a stick.” When I declined, he would get mad at me and would not talk to me for hours, doesn’t help me anymore, so I did it, I obeyed him like a dog.

Mother tried ever since, to cure me of this disease, this illness. She looked for any doctors, psychologists, psychiatrists, etc. “Your child is perfectly healthy,” they said. Not even the best professionals figured it out. Tomino was always mischievous, mysterious, secretive, smart about where he moves each of his pawns. To him, this was no more than just a game.

My father abandoned me because of this, well partly. He cheated on her, secretly, but it was funny since father still had this small affection for mom, so instead, he told her a white lie. I knew all along because Tomino tells me about these things.

I was only left with my mother. “Why me?” Why can’t I have a normal child?,” I would often hear mother mumble under her breath. My mother was no longer the kind mother I knew. It wasn’t a surprise she has become an alcoholic soon after.

“What are you looking at? You pathetic little brat, this is all your fault!”, mother said.

“I REALLY HATE THE SMELL OF ALCOHOL.”, I screamed at her.

Miza peered in on us in the corner, she came to my house for the project.

I knew,.... She knew.

……….

Tomino would often come to comfort me when I cry, although sometimes he is upset himself and never comes, he said it wasn’t my fault. “It was Okaa-san’s fault for not understanding us enough.”

School was no different.

“No wonder her parents abandoned her..”

“What a spoiled child.”

“Ewww, stay away from me….”

“Manipulative bi**”

“This is all your fault!”

I have always given in the efforts to redeem myself, but they were all main just seen as an unless waste of time.

“I’m not your friend anymore! How could you do such a thing?”

Wait- KI! Wha-what about you Miza, are you going to leave me too?, I asked. Deliberately.

She looked at me sadly but she said nothing “...........”, as she just walked alongside her other friend.

I was always the one left out. It wasn’t my fault, was it?

I had to transfer to many different schools after then.

“Ugh, isn’t that disgusting woman her mother?”

“Why would you raise such a slut?”

It always ended terribly.

Tears were wiped with sleeves. I weep.

So then...

9/16/1990

Mother became even more so tired of all this as each day passed by. She dressed up, packed up. Slammed the door on me.

Unknown: “Wait! What about-!”

She left me…...

“I don’t need her anymore, I should’ve never given birth to you.”

“Don’t leave me, I promise I will do all my chores, I would never cause you any more trouble ever again, please mother!”, I layed on the floor, begging.

But, that was the last sentence mother said to me, the last she spoke to me, the last time I saw her.

“Ojii-san, Do you think it's my fault?”

Unknown: “It’s going to be okay, Hika, come with me.”

….

Years passed then, it was hard to believe.

“Hika, breakfast is ready!” “Coming Okaa- Ojii-san!”

“What a weird grandchild I have.” “hahaha, Ojii-san that’s mean!” “Come eat, child.”

“Itadakimasu!” If you couldn’t tell already, living with my uncle was nice and comforting, for once.

“Okay, I’m off, see you Ojii-san!”

It was only us two that lived together now after dad had left us and mother had disappeared off to somewhere. Ojii-san was the only person I have now, although he is growing quite old as days pass by.

Thing was, we are tight on money. Ojii-san tries his best to reassure me and tells me to just focus on my studies but I know about our financial problems.

The only other major reason why we had food left on our plate was that “Tomino” still exists, he protects me, this was part of our agreement. I thought for sure Tomino would get bored of me soon when I grew older, but he stayed and waited for the promise we made till the very end. It seems like Tomino never really ages and he just stays the same size every day even after years. Things just stayed the same.

Tomino grants my wishes. But, that’s it….

….

11/7/1994

I walked between pebbles, between bridges, and on bridges. Tomino follows me wherever I go. It's like he’s a stalker, but I'm used to it. "I'm fine today, Tomino, how are you? You know, I know you're there..." "Yes, whatever you say.", he replied. He raised strange doubts when I was a child, but I loved him. It was my friend after all. He was the only person who knew me well. Tomino seems to look old these days, but not so deeply.He still seems to have stayed the same even after years.

As my walk almost reached my destination, I was in the middle of walking passed the archway of the two buildings as a shortcut followed by my upperclassmen.

"Ah, isn't that Hika Normanashi?"

Please, keep in mind that……..Nobody really knows my surname. It was a secret because of family issues. Tomino also knows. And since then I haven't trusted enough people to tell them anything. It wasn’t particularly very nice to see someone expose my surname.

I felt a hand grabbed me by my wrist as they proceeded to push me against the wall as the dude kept mocking my body.

Girl 2: "Hey, knucklehead! This is it! I brought over her here."

Unknown: “This little one doesn’t seem to scream much so it’s fine boss.”

As they threw me onto the ground below them, Grabbing me and pushing my head against the wall.

"S-STOP IT! RELEASE ME!"

Girl 1: "Hey, so what are you going to do? Get your boyfriend to protect you or something?"

“……… ..!”

"Wait! Tomino, don't!"

Soon, the blood of two young girls spilled under me, on the concrete under my feet. I was soaked in blood. The young man looked at me in shock of fear as if I were the murderer.

"Y-YOU MONSTER!", he screamed.

I looked down at my bloody shaking hands. The knife Tomino has given me…...

The young man tried to resist me as much as possible, but Tomino also fled before him and overwhelmed over him. I knew exactly what Tomino wanted me to do. Through the man’s eyes, I could see what it felt like to die, the terror. "Sorry, but you’ll have to die for me, it'll be fast, I promise." I closed my eyes. I took a breath. I wondered how just how many more people do I need to kill? There was no point in arguing with Tomino. This is his identity. I’m sorry Ojii-san………. The next thing I saw when I opened my eyes were two stranded dead bodies tied onto the tracks, two trains which ran at full speed in seconds over them. The man's body was specially cutaway where the organs were visible, but Tomino did not kill him yet. It can be said that Tomino threw him most. I knew about this, the way this guy died was exactly the same as a few years ago. "........ First, a small lead ball creates a large, deep bruise and breaks on subsequent hits. Finally, the skin on the back hangs on a long ribbon and the entire area If the prisoner determines that the prisoner is dying, an unrecognizable chunk, the strike will be stopped. "

I know I'm a murderer ... my feet move suddenly. But in the wrong direction. I could not stop sitting on my lap on the lawn and staring at the dead man.

His face stared at me and wanted to return, in hopes of revenge, I knew deeply.

But, Tomino doesn’t.

No matter how many following attempts there were, Tomino always got away with it, dragging me along. When the news of these three students was blankly announced, the whole classroom began to place the blame on me. No one dared to approach me after that. I was invisible. It was an inevitable fate.

I couldn’t bring myself to believe my fate.

I couldn’t bring myself to believe Tomino was so cruel.

I couldn’t bring myself to bear this anymore. I only have hidden the truth. I knew what he meant, by those silent words.

I planned my defeat. If order to win,

You must lose.

To bring illusion to reality, how do you do that exactly?

How can you eliminate something you loved so much in the world?

Without a doubt, I am always attached to Tomino, I believed there was always loyalty that has existed between us.

Tomino made me feel emotions, of all kinds.

The emotion of being valued, the emotion of being appreciated, and emotions of hatred.

It was only that I could never tell what his objective was, nor who he was anymore. I cannot recognize him. I cannot be an attachment. I cannot be the one to ‘change’ him. We are like the strings of, the lines, the blinds between the lies. I cannot be there for him, I must stay away father always told me.

“One day, he would ruin you. Do not be fooled easily, do not be influenced by terrible people easily. Keep that in mind, Hika. ”

…..

Friend, a person whom one knows, likes, or trusts.

Was there ever trust that has enveloped in this relationship.

“Let’s stay togeth-er forever, Tomino.”

smiles*

Hey…..., that warm smile you gave me just there…..

Was that a lie…. Or was that the truth?

Was it a sad one or was that a happy one?

Call me an idiot, although I always have the ability to read people’s expressions…..

I could never tell Tomino’s.

I have never thought this day would come.

I have always thought, it was the truth.

How could he speak so falsely?

What did you mean exactly?

….

12/24/1995

“I’ve grown tired of you, Tomino.” , I’ve had enough.

“Kill me, how are you going to kill me?” Tomino mocked me.

” I’m sorry, Tomino.”

And within that, the only thing that can convince us of their love for each other is the truth.

“I cannot ever get rid of you until I die, right? I wish you the best in the afterlife ...really.”

5/22/1985

I remembered the day we met,

The garden was so beautiful, the pond filled with koi fish were so lovely, the flowers were all so pretty, the bridge above it was so clean, but it was all so lonely. I sat there walking and running around playing by myself until I grew tired. Where you came into existence ever since. Then, we would always be together. Where he was always quiet and kept to himself, but I didn’t mind.

“Ne-ne! Tomoi-no!.....” “Hi-ka!”(learned each other’s names) I wrote down both of our names and embraced it with a heart, the poor boy seemed so flustered for some reason.

“Promise me that you would always stay by my side, never leave me, alright?” He seemed hesitant at first but then offered me his pinky.

But that wasn’t the promise, Tomino hid the truth, he wanted much more. He just wanted to take my white soul.

Thank you for your company. Your kindness, no one can pretend. The flowers were never too strong to sustain itself, and the petals would eventually overtime fade out. The grass are cut away little by little by the humans because they hate how it was. The trees are brought down by the people in order to feed them. But, these were all often done without anything in return. I didn’t want to leave because I have faith in Tomino, but that would be selfish to say that, that was the only reason why I have lived. I wished I hadn’t agreed upon our promise. I don’t want to stay, because it would mean I would still have to call Tomino a friend.

“I have more than once tried to deceive you, but you will feel that I am now speaking falsely,” Tomino said.

Tomino could never touch me because he isn’t real and because he cannot touch me, he cannot stop me. I wanted to cry, but nothing came out.

12/24/1995

I feel the breath of life taken away from me by the multitude.

It was getting harder and harder to breathe as each second progresses. I have always tried to kill myself before. Standing at the edge….. I was a coward I could never face death.

“Why? All you have to do is just to “jump”? It’ll all be over, right?”

But, one day I found myself hung.. “I’m sorry.”

And then, everything just blacked out. The man in black disappeared, everything disappeared. There was no “Tomino”. There was just a little boy, all alone forced to carry out his duty.

“Goodbye ..old friend”

“goodbye,'' he once said.

I could almost hear him saying in response...

12/25/1994

A woman in a black dress came to settle down a few white flowers as she prayed her hands together, she spoke only three words…..,

“I love you.”

….

And soon,

a few more and more,

flowers were placed.

“Happy birthday, Hika.” , Tomino smiled.

“Here’s your present!”, as the young boy cheerfully places down a small box with a little teddy bear sitting on top.

=//[For anyone confused]// “TOMINO” is her teddy bear, a stuffed animal^^

Well? Where’d do you think Hika has gotten her present from[Teddy Bear]?

#books & libraries #aesthetic #Tomino #writing #japan #kawaii #my writing #novel #flowers #TeddyBear #Miyiee #Miyie

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jxwritesss · 5 years

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I’m currently writing this on wattpad as well! @jxwritess

This is a Noen Eubanks fan fiction, I’m trying to spread my book around, pls share and help, it means a lot xx, my main platform is wattpad please read it on there if you find this and enjoy it!

New York. The only place in the entire world, where robots were being developed. Robots, that looked exactly like humans, and there being only one distinctive difference, a tattoo. One that said RA-H.

An RA-H. Robotic animated humans. These androids are helping the world as much as it is destroying it. They force people out of jobs, but in doing so create even better things then humans. Thousands of different political views, millions of haters and lovers. And then there's me.

Malia Blanche, 17, I lost my father, and I was the spitting image of my late mother. I only recently moved to LA, where my life was bombarded with these new androids, I get the concept of them, although I don't truly understand it.

Well, on with the story shall we?

-Chapter One.

Sunday, the day before I start college. A new life, a new story and a new beginning. I can finally pursue my dream of being a writer, just like my mother.

My mother attended John Brown college academy , her department was romance, mine, mystery, ever since I was a child I thrive for solving mysteries, actions, you know in the movies where there's a fight scene, and it goes slow motion and they throw the punch of victory, thats what ignites my fire, the thrive for doing good, but in a dangerous way, I could always figure out who was lying in a movie, or who the murderer was. Maybe I should be a detective, but my flow comes with writing.

Although I was attending my new school in a day, I lazily decided to stay in bed until half 10, I needed to be at Realsons&Co for 11:15, to get my uniform fitted. John Brown is a very pretentious academy, and I'd worked three jobs, and poured my heart and soul into getting here. Only the best attend the Academy. I don't necessarily fit into the 'my daddy got me in here' well, obviously. I quickly slipped on my jeans and jumper, and slid into my most prised possession. Although it had been pre-owned. The Audi was my mother's, she put her heart and soul into the car, and I will respect her decision and keep the car.

I take out my GPS although I already know where my fitting shop is, as I pass it a few times on the way to my grandma's.

Carefully parking in the visitor section I leave my car, and walk up the steps, and enter the shop, the bell above my head dings and an elderly woman pops her head up and immediately smiles at me.

"Are you Malia?" The woman asks putting her newspaper down and picking up a signing book.

"Yeah, I'm not too early am I?"

"Of course not, dear. I'm Molly, my grandson Will, he's in the back, he will measure you up if you need anything readjusting or if you can't find anything your size. John Brown, Deanford and Attenwood are in the back left." She says pointing in the direction.

I thank her, and mentally thank that the place is practically empty. I don't like small talk, thanks social anxiety.

Walking through the back I spot John Brown uniform. A black blazer with red linings, a short black skirt and a white blouse and a dark red tie. Not too childish but not suitable enough for adults.

At the corner of my eye I see a tall boy sat on his phone, his eyes flicker up for a second at me, then back down to his phone.

I continue my search to look for the right size for my uniform when I feel a pair of eyes on me, it makes me feel uncomfortable and I start to guess that the pair of eyes is Molly's grandson Will, I mentally scold myself for being so awkward and pretending not to know that he's watching, when I hear his chair scrape my heart decides to do an athlete course and I pray he can't hear it from where he's standing.

I can tell he's now behind me, as I face my social fears I turn around and slam right into his chest, and in result dropping all my stuff, Will snorts, before helping me by picking up some of the clothes that dropped.

"Thanks," I say, grabbing the clothes from his hand and attempting to walk past him, but his arms stop me.

"Was that sarcastic or not?" He asked smiling. I take a second to take in his looks, he doesn't look as bad as I thought he would, but he doesn't act like a arrogant guy either.

"I'll let you figure that one out," I smile politely back, "I'm Will." He says moving his arm in a posh manner to let me through.

"I know, Molly told me," I answer, "I guess you know who I am?" "Yep, how could I ignore a pretty girl like you?" I mentally roll my eyes at the typical boy. "Mhm, well I need to get changed so excuse me" I say speed walking away from him, boys that make comments like that make me feel extremely uncomfortable.

As I turn the corner to the fitting rooms, I hear Will's voice once again, "I'm gay by the way," he says laughing, I stop in my tracks, suddenly feeling a bit stupid.

——

Checking that I haven't left any clothes behind, I pile them onto the counter, where Will is now standing, he starts to put all my clothes in an expensive looking plastic bag, he looks up at me, "Sorry about earlier, I was just messing about." "No, it's okay, I felt a bit silly when you said you were gay."

He shakes his head and laughs, "most people do, well the ones that aren't stuck up with money up their ass usually do." "Well I'm only here on a scholarship, so I'm not one of them people," I say handing him over the small fee I have to pay, as the scholarship covers most of it. "Surprisingly so am I, I got accepted for Athletics at John Brown," I never really though I would but I guess I should thank the Lord, my parents can't wait to get rid of me anyways, being gay has a price to pay, apparently."

"Well, they obviously don't see the good person that you are." I smile at him, although I wish he hadn't of brought it up, I'm not necessarily the best at giving advice.

The bell rings, and a tall, slim girl walks through.

"Tanner" she says walking through right into the back without a second glance.

"I understand what you mean by stuck up," I whisper, Will chuckles and passes me my bag, the girl walks back and stands behind me, not even two seconds later she starts tapping her foot and complaining.

"Since when do we serve nobodies, Will? That's right we don't. Now move, thanks." She says pushing right past me and throwing her uniform on the counter. Luckily it wasn't a John Brown one, otherwise I might've just about died.

I quietly wave at Will and walk out, seeing a shining white Porsche outside. Seriously where do you even get one that looks so shiny from?

I put the bag in the passenger seat, still feeling annoyed about the girl, as I reach my small flat, I lock my Audi, and read a movie poster about a girl going missing with her extremely ill dad. Making a mental note to watch the movie later, I walk up my stairs and unlock my door, I make myself a cup of tea and order some pizza, as I walk into my room, I open up my laptop, and have three new emails, one spam, but two from publishers. My heart does leaps as I open the first one.

'Telford Publishing'

- Hello Malia, we are proud to hear that you are following in your beloved mothers steps. I have read your book sample, but I would like to offer you a potential job, and a tour around the new T Pub&Co. I know how much it would mean to your mother if you accept my offer.

Many thanks, Gary.

A potential job?? Could this be my genuine big break? Hearing a knock at the door, I run over, wanting to start up a reply as soon as possible. Grabbing my purse I open my door to an RA-H

"Malia Blanche?"

"Yes, here's my ID." The robots light turns red as it examines my ID. Doing a robotical smile it's arm stretches out, grabbing the pizza I express a thank you and run back to my desk.

'T Pub&Co.'

Thank you for my sample! I will gladly accept your offer, please email with more detail about the tour and I'll get back to you as soon as possible. My mum would be so happy.

Sincerely, Malia.

As I send the email I let out a squeak of happiness with pizza in my mouth. Clicking onto my word pad, I let myself fall into the world of fiction, and let time slip through my hands.

——

And that's how it is now 3.36am on a Monday trying to start a new story, anything to take my mind off the upcoming day, and the extremely embarrassing 'Tanner' fiasco.

I push my chair back from my old, ridden desk, and flop onto my bed, snuggling into my bedsheets, this has been going on for a week, for some reason I have no flow, the biggest writers block, I have stories everywhere across my room, started, just the plot, a thesis, a blurb. But recently I haven't found anything to give me that push. I turn and toss in an unsucsessive attempt to sleep, and as I check my phone it is only 4 am.

Great, no sleep for the wicked.

——

Groggily, I turn over in my bed and look over to my clock, 6.07am. Throwing my bed covers over, I lazily get up and put on the uniform that luckily fits perfectly. Thinking about my email yesterday, there is nothing more that I want in the world then my writing to become known. Realising that I spend too much time daydreaming, and badly making pancakes, i'm late and have no time to see if I have a reply. Already. Typical Me.

Rushing out of my door, checking the contents of my bag to make sure that I have everything that I need I speed walk right into someone walking up my door, crashing everything they were holding onto the floor.

"God I'm sorry, I didn't mean too, wasnt looking where I was going." I look up and realise that, I wasn't even speaking to a human, but none other then an Android. It simply says, "No worries miss," and continues with its day. Those androids are the ones that Robert Morett himself created, word is that his son is attending John Brown. Although i'm here with a writing scholarship, I doubt he'd need any type of acceptance letter. He could just ask, he is one of the most richest people in America.

Pulling my keys out of my bag I speed walk towards my car, carefully throwing my bag in, and starting the Audi, before starting my drive I pull out my phone to the Maps app, although I used to drive past John Brown to get to school I still want to be prepared.

—

Pulling up at the academy, I notice a few eyes staring at the jet black Audi with the tinted windows, they're probably expected a drop dead gorgeous girl, or the sexiest guy

to walk out, but in all honesty I'm neither.

Turning off my car and stepping out the eyes are suddenly averted to another jet black car, most likely a gorgeous boy or girl in it.

My mind wavered at wondering whether I should stay and stare at the person in black, or be late to my lecture.

Achieving my dream comes first.

I promised my mother that I'd focus on my work, and not get distracted. I intend on keeping that promise.

#noeneubanks #lilhuddy #tiktok #eboy edit #wattpad #luvanthony

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