Sorry for the water filter but can I be honest the more I think abt it the more I kind of hate this post. I think it'd be better if it didn't namedrop an actual real life trans person for the sake of going "ew, I don't wanna look like THAT" (especially when contrasting him to these random guys, all I hear in "Elliot Page does not look like Just Some Guy" is basically "I don't think Elliot Page 'passes'"), but even then I think it's interesting how "I am a trans man who wants to present traditionally masculine" is presented as like, the hot take of the century. Should we throw a party. Should we invite. idk. Buck Angel

silly question but: does wolf alík look any different from a regular wolf? when she's fully transformed, is there anything that sets her apart, or does she just look like an average, straight up wolf?

ty for asking this actually!!! i think about this a bunch, like, what human traits alík keeps, if she can bark/howl, if a pack of wolves would accept her, etc !!! ill talk about this under cut bc its like . idk? im not sure if this is body horror ? like its not just her being a wolf , its her being a messed up wolf .. uncanny wolf up ahead!! + some blood but not that much.. also warning ur getting a much longer answer than you were probs asking for lol

so i made a little image getting into details about her mutation just now, But i do first want to show off this art that my friend blazy (@/mothssmeat - go check his art out its super swag!!!) made of her for artfight last year !! He Gets Her he gets her wolfness he gets it

check out the speedpaint !! blazy's sooo niceys for drawing such an awesome alík art ... its So good . do you see how her nose is turning into one of a wolf? but so painfully ?? so slowly that its just !! how shes tearing up, blood around her ?? god . like God. oh my goddd . and her fur !! how its growing in patches around her body, starting like wild from her head, her eyebrows combined, just like !! its growing around like mold and i find that really cool .. hehe sorry just had to fangirl about this art ofher . i dont get the chance oftne . anyway. in a more professional manner: god sorry i cant yet . oh my fucking goddd . oh my GOD !!!! just look at that . what is that thing!!! dear god!!! ok. im normal now (lying ).

look at her hands and feet. human joints should not be like that, and wolf paws do not look like that. her claws.. god just look at them. blazys art explains alíks messed up wolf situation far better than i ever could. her ears, too, are just... god, look at them!! i have to move on from this art or ill just keep saying "look at it!!" but, well. Look at it.

some of my own alík wolf art:) the first one is when shes fully transformed, but also the first ever art i did of her like that, so take it with a grain of salt, but still take it. the second is her like... in her metamorphisis era - my internet connection is kinda MEAN and EVIL right now so i can't add them rn .. ill either rb with them later or edit them into the post. for now i just put links to the images :( sorry! plus the mentioned image from before. now Onto serious business

something that alík always has, no matter form, is her human eyes - but they're not really human! their colouration is one of a wolf's, and her eyesight is also almost as good as that of one. this is messed up when she's in full wolf mode, because its really.. just, weird. can you imagine looking at a dog with human eyes? a cat? a cow? no!! because its weird!!!! shes a FREAK!! (affectionate)

another weirdo thing about her face is her teeth. hes got canine teeth, no doubt about it, but i do think she has a bit more teeth than she should have.. maybe three more... ? two more? i think the amount of teeth is not equivalent with neither the amount humans should have nor the amount wolves should have.. like 38 or smth. this doesn't change in her transformation, but her jaw and gums do! it hurts! Ouchies! it also shifts her teeth around.. tbh i wouldnt be surprised if she lost a tooth or two transforming sometime.

as you may have noticed, alík has most of her fur on her head! this is because of hair! she has a big ol' tuft of fur on her head when she's in wolf mode and it makes her look silly. depending on how far along in transition they are, their fur is like... its in blotches over their body. a tuft here, a tuft there, no fur at all someplace else... her spine gets covered in fur first. bc its like !! hair to tail:)

her limbs are weird, too. her arms are more humanoid than her legs - my friend mikey @/monstertsunami shows this wonderfully in his art of alík and their gf idk who she is i heard shes some kind of loser? ermmm what the freak🔥

oh wow it let me add an image that time Awesome!!! anyway, you can see how her feet are pretty pawsome, huh?? shes got pawpads - is that what its called for wolves? i cant find info :( - and her joints are more.. like, look at how she's standing! her ankles! everybody say thank you mikey... !!! this stays in her wolf form, in a way

in the 'mentioned image' from before, you can see - ifyou can read my handwriting lol - that there's text around her feet/paws (peets...) that says 'human hands - fucked up paws'. in the linked image 'first one' , you can see her fucked up wolf hands more clearly! thats something that ive kept. i think she could grab you, even as a wolf. she keeps her thumbs. even if they dont work as well. this makes running as a wolf difficult for her, because her fingers are very much in the way !! herr back feet are more wolf-like in her wolf mode, even twisting her hips to work better !! opposite goes for her hands, though - her arms, like.. theyre not good for wolves ! her elbow is forced into a shitty position, her shoulders are.. bad...

and, as mentioned, her nose is fucked up. the smell of blood is an intimate friend of hers 💥it like.. god, her face goes through So Much. her skull gets absolutely , like ... goddd shes definetely broken bones transforming before... her nose is like, stretched out ? idk how to explain it .. its like if you used the 'free transform' tool on it

in short, id say theres a few main things that set alík apart from a regular wolf:

human eyes

human hands (sometimes covered in fur)

teeth

body isn't always fully covered in fur (its not easy for his body to bust out ten thousand fur strands all over his body, ya know? needs resources for that to happen)

movement (can't run as well, vocal cords arent probs in the best state after her neck fucking... look at it)

smell. she smells weird. oyou dont care about that but wolves would i think

then there's like, little basic anatomy stuff, like she will Never have the proper body of a wolf . maybe if she was like, for a year as a wolf, or two, or maybe even fine her body would be like Ok were wolf now . and her bones would settle ... but this is a question of years and time she does not have. her lifespan is also all kinds of fucked up. if she wasnt being experimented on evey day of her life ever, she'd probs live until her 40s? maybe late 40s if she had a HEALTHY LIFESTYLE filled with JOY and WHIMSY!!!! but i think now she'll die like, in her pafl au, i dont think she'll make it to 35.. sad! ouppy gone

also im working on an alík thing .. + the other two .. but also alík

CANINE GIRL coming to YOUR THEATRES in SOON!!!! hehe... im not making a song thats like too much for me. i can only make music that soundgs good to me idk how to make music that others would find tolerable .. my blessing .. teehee .. ill make alík like, a page, like the tptm girls have .. nina and nastya too:) nastyas mockup page is done.. but im not showing!!! you get a sneakpeak of the text tho . ty for the ask ❤️im surprised its letting me add images now . wifis been weird all day .. u also get to see a wip of her display sona

idk what her name would be . superlative girl ? unrivalled ? irrelevant ? victorious ? precious ? vote in the comments down below!!!Ninas will be some shit like. unknown girl. apathy girl. etc ... i havent gotten to alíks display sona yet but you KNOW shes ouppy!!!!

okieee‼️‼️‼️thats it . hope ur ok with me sharing the tptm stuff .... ❤️❤️💥💥💥ty again for the ask !!!

I know I'm late (hopefully not too late) but pls for the ship ask game? Also I saw your wips and got curious about some ❤️ Micah/trevon, Steph/Klay, Travis/pat and Dak/Zeke? I probably asked for a lot sorry hshdhshs

Never late!! Thank you for sending in an ask, I like reading them :> and dw abt asking abt too many bc answering is cool (I should probably be the one apologizing for finishing this response late 😭) For Micah and Trevon @ceedeelamb posted a lot abt them and I was like "okay hm i see the vision." Like Trevon is pretty and at the cost of sounding shallow he should be shipped with someone if the world has any justice. We all know Stefon is pretty but let’s give his brother some love ok. Bc he too is a gorgeous gorgeous girl who is also prone to bouts of manic behavior 🫶 And it seems like he and Micah have a good relationship (the part abt Micah saying he would pick up Trevon’s 2 am call kinda moved me I can’t lie). It’s cute, they talk shit to each other and play off each other well on the field. Seems like Micah is a little more obtuse and Trevon’s more perceptive and that works I think. If I had a nickel for every time I shipped two NFL players and something about 7-11 was involved in its conception I would have two nickels which isn't a lot but it's weird it happened twice. Also Micah compared himself and Trevon to Jalen Ramsey and Aaron Donald... which I mean. Gay off. (rest in peace to that pairing btw i had a fic abt them) (never completed) (i do have a Trevon/Micah fic kinda sorta in the works) (it will probably be short but the vibes are decent)

Steph/Klay is one of those pairings where I don't read much fic but I ship it bc well. Who else would you ship yknow? They're so married it's insane 😭 like I probably got into the nba fandom too late to really be invested in the narrative but I can't imagine them with anyone else. Tbh I don’t read a lot of fic for them bc the dynamic isn’t something that draws me in but just know I support all of the Klephen shippers. I hope that they both stay with the Warriors for their entire careers 🫡

And then Travis/Pat is a valid ship. I support it in theory bc “quarterback + top pass catcher = decent ship.” I feel like I would like this ship more if Travis were younger, with all due respect (and also if the Chiefs didn't constantly beat my teams 😭), but like I still don’t mind it. I had an idea for like some vaguely melancholic short fic abt them with like a dash of yearning once but idk where I put that thought. Overall, good ship tho!

Dak/Zeke is great I hate they're divorced now 😔 there was a fic abt them that I liked but then it got deleted 💔 burning of Library of Alexandria moment. I really need to save more fics bc idk when they'll be saved. Anyways Dak is kinda mother to me so like. I miss their vibes together the nfl honors during their rookie year was kind of a goated vibe. And qb/rb relationships are underrated I feel, something abt a shared responsibility for two facets of the offense.

hm I was gonna post Earthspark liveblogs two or more episodes at a time like I did with RB(A) but uh. I’ve kinda written a Lot for the first two + there’s pics so maybe I’ll just do one by one.  anyway here’s episode 11

That’s a very clunky way to introduce their status as siblings but ok

Hey uh. Hm. Y’know what I ain’t saying anything let’s move on

Actually is this the first time Bee’s Beetle alt has had stripes? I feel like probably not but I also don’t know any other continuity with it off the top of my head

Gd Twitch and Thrash are so TINY

Hjsfgjkldfghdjfg

Lol at the “Trans” former not wanting to have an altmode.   kinda feels a bit like they’re saying “trans people don’t need to hide who they are!!!” or something equally well-meaning but it just ends up othering them even more imo. Where’s the Knuckles pic

Jawbreaker honey y’all were JUST talking about how Bee changed his altmode, you should KNOW you can change yours if it’s not perfect

Twitch that is a HORRIBLE hiding spot and also that’s gotta be the largest cart return shed thing I’ve ever seen

SHDFKJGHFKSJHGKSJHFSDJKF THE GHOST VAN JUST CASUALLY AT THE SUPER MARKET……………………

HOW ARE THEY NOT INSTANTLY RECOGNIZING WHAT’S HAPPENING IT’S LITERALLY THEIR JOBBBBBBB

>“I’m not gonna let anything bad happen to you!”

>just watches as Hashtag drives into the side of a cliff when she didn’t know there was a secret entrance

Okay so they have the security stuff but surely they also have surveillance cameras watching the front door, right? They’re gonna know Twitch knows where they are now

Behold, the most useless tape measure in existence! Like okay I don’t expect them to have all the numbers but would it’ve killed them to throw some black lines on there. They don’t even have to vary in length but SOMETHING other than blank yellow woulda made some sense.      I’m nitpicking let’s move on

OUGH SHE’S SO CUTE

“Doesn’t do anything” so does she like…………………………………………have her “eyes” closed/off when she’s messing around in cyberspace? Bc that’s kinda hard to miss

Like obviously they don’t have their eyes in a vehicle altmode and beastformers have like. A whole-ass other set of eyes. So I’d think pretty much every Cybertronian has at least two ways of seeing – and like they’ve gotta be able to see things like what color a stoplight is so it can’t be sonar or anything like that I don’t think. And they probably can’t be used at the same time, which is my way of explaining why they don’t just use that to see whenever their eyes are covered or have been blinded by something. Anyway.

Gd I love Schloder he’s so cringe

What exactly is the gas supposed to do. Please explain.

Oh THAT’S interesting

“Core”? Is that this continuity’s version of a spark chamber or am I forgetting/missing something

So there ARE cameras and no one bothered to look at them when the alarm went off???? Or did they not bother bc they thought it was just set off by the agents returning bc technology is stupid sometimes and it might just be acting like my car alarm

SEE HE GOT IT IMMEDIATELY

Hm yeah that icon looked like eyes to me

So she DOES know it turns off the light?

Okay now I’m even more confused bc she says none of them did anything but she did also know how to turn off the lights so What Is The Truth

What’d he say? Multibots? I wish these had subs

HTYE OUT HERE USING DIAL-UP IN 2023 (I know it’s an audio gag but still. The implications are Very Funny)

Now I guess she has more control over stuff so she can see and use the internet at the same time? idk. We’re probably not supposed to think about it this much

*Gravity Falls voice* Ancient meme! Ancient meme!

Bruh are you really treating him like a fuckin pet

Wait why’d the ceiling break. We’re going back to that right

OH WAIT DUH it’s Malto-bots 🥺

Hm exactly how much time has passed? Bc I mean I feel like by the time Nightshade had everything put together they’d already found another solution or at least be resigned enough to not be complaining abt the barn space like they were earlier

Lol I was wondering if she was actually a hotspot

D’aw

im gonna rant here, but if anyone wants to give me advice 😭

so. there was a girl i used to talk abt a lot here. i might rb a few things that i mentioned her in. anyways. i had a big old crush on her in hs. but i moved away for school and that was that. what might have been during hs was kinda dropped. i still saw her when i came back for holidays it summer, but she was more of my bffs friend than mine by the end of hs, so i only saw her once in a while. and by the time i finished college. ig i still remembered the crush i had on her, but i felt like i had gotten over it.

the thing abt this girl is she's a very big jokester and kinda deflective. shes kinda like. an elementary school kid who has a crush on someone and only knows how to handle it by being mean to them? thats kinda her. but with jokes??

well, i never took ANYTHING she said abt us srsly bc. its just what she does. she jokes.

and a few weeks ago, my friend invited us to a little kickback and she was there. i made a post abt it i think, bc obviously everyone needs to be in my business. but quick run down. she made a joke abt kissing me. when i didn't go along with it she said, "why didn't you lean in?" and that's the moment it kinda hit me that she might be fr 😭

and the she got "defensive" again and she told me she was gonna talk to the cute girl over there or w.e.

(and im not a jealous person when im not in a relationship with someone. even if i like them, im not gonna play jealousy games with ppl, sorry, so if she wanted a reaction from me, she did not get one)

okay, we've seen each other a couple of times since then. nothing big. someone realized i had a little crush in her bc apparently i act a FOOL, a SIMP, even when we just talk abt her.

now the NEW MAIN PART OF THE STORY (sorry that was all suppose to be a quick recap lol).

my close friend always throws a big old costume party for her birthday since she's an october baby, duh. and shes make a deal of inviting anyone she was ever cool with. so some ppl from hs, some ppl from shows she goes to, shes knows a lot of ppl. and ofc this girl is gonna be there (lets not talk abt the fact that my ex and her new girl was there lmao, i didnt mind, i just had no idea how to react)

and me? im a little loose from the alc. i dont even remember how we ended up hanging together, but we did. we played beer pong (and ofc we're both amazing so a lot of celebration hugs).

and i think from there we stick to each others sides. kinda close. right?

and she says things I once thought were jokes, but now im like 😳 u think my beauty doesnt compare fr ??

well by the end of the party we're making out. again, i dont remember how it happened. just that it did.

and we went home and I have not texted her since then and vice versa.

i had a conversation with ANOTHER friend yesterday tho. who told me while i was in the bathroom and they were all drunkenly hanging out outside. she told them she's been having a crush on me since hs and she's always been too scared to do or say anything. now lets forget abt the fact that my dumbass is living through a 7 year slow burn with a apparently a shit ton of mutual pining. lets forget abt that. or else ill punch myself.

point is, she has yet to contact me and i have yet to contact her. and im scared if i do she'll pass everything off as a joke. which will hurt. but i still want to reach out. i just dont know what to say. i dont talk to her much outside of in person situations. i should've stolen her sweater so i could have an excuse to give it back 🙄

anyways. that was my little rant. im still stuck on what to say. if anyone has advise. ill give u a little digital heart or smth idk.

the solution might literally be so simple, but i dont have an outside perspective rn, i have dumb dumb lovesick brain rot >:(

PLS DO NOT REBLOG THIS THANKS

Bakugo in Bed

here's that spicy bkg hc I promised!

cw: sex obvi, afab!reader, reader squirts once, dom!katsuki, soft!katsuki (bc I love both hehe), biting (f. receiving)

characters have been aged up +22*

a/n: *I forgot to add this but this is true for all of my posts, which is also stated in my welcome message.

MDNI

When you first started having sex together he was surprisingly shy, he was so embarrassed the first time you saw him hard, straining against his jeans.

Which means you were the one who did a lot of the guiding in the beginning, telling him what you liked and rewarding him when he behaved (which is also when you learned he had a major praise kink)

It wasn't long before he became more confident, though. The first time he edged you just to prolong his own pleasure, seeing you squirt on his cock, he realized how much you truly liked his domineering attitude, even in bed.

The way he flirts with you changes, too. That is, he now knows how weak you truly are for him, so he fully leans into it, teasing you with his body and pressing kisses in your most sensitive spots, like right behind your ear or on your wrist.

Not even to be mean, or lord it over you. No, him realizing you like him exactly how he is totally boosts his mood, and he's much more confident.

One of his favorite positions is sitting up in bed while you ride his lap. He likes that you can control the pace, fucking yourself on him, and he can look right into your eyes as you come on his cock.*

You're shocked when he asks if he can bite you, but when he does you're not sure why he hadn't been doing it all along

Doesn't really know about aftercare but he's actually pretty good at it? Like he fully just without any pointers was like hey I kinda tore into you rn are you good? And wants to shower with you to make sure you're okay

Building off that w my massages w Katsuki hc those post sex massages are the best 🤤 he loves kissing the places he was rough on like around your hips, massaging those bite marks so softly while he whispers sweet things into your skin

He's the horniest in the morning. Has woken you up at the ass crack of dawn because he wanted sex more times than you count (which like yes you love it but also i need sleep kacchan)

He loses control when he comes, unable to form a sentence, just panting and moaning softly into your ear or mouth (he loves kissing when he comes)

If you normally call him by his last name and call him by his given name when youre alone together have mercy on him 🙈 he loves the way his name sounds on your lips while he fucks you

Loves being rough with you in bed but he also needs those quiet sessions where you're both just humping into each other and moaning quietly in each other's ears because he loves how gentle yall can be with each other

Likes to rile you up randomly around the house and then leave you hanging. His favorite is to come up behind you while you're cooking to lean his body against yours, your hips straining against the counter, while he presses kisses against your neck, before he pulls away to ask you about dinner like nothing happened.

He says it's because he can't resist you (and he cant) but it's mostly because he loves when you whine for him and make him feel wanted.

Tysm for reading!! Pls let me know what you thought, rbs/comments are always welcome 💖

*if you liked this I did a lil fic that builds off this hc if you'd like to check it out! :)

i was tagged by jay @sebastianvettelsgender (ty 💕💕) to answer questions about my blog so >:3c

1. why did you choose your url?

because all-around world champion zhang boheng is the light of my life my precious angel my lil meow meow my reason for living my babygirl my everything <3 and i wanted to let the world know that 😤 (on a more serious note his gymnastics is genuinely captivating and i am obsessed with his work and want him to stick around for a long time bc he is So Beautiful)

2. any side blogs?

yes but they’re unfortunately both kinda dead 😭 maybe one day i’ll revive them or just merge them into this blog but for now they’re just sitting there gathering dust

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

since i was maybe 11 . . . ? so about 9 years !!

4. do you have a queue tag?

i actually don’t 😵‍💫 i just sort of spam rb either from my dash or from my likes whenever i have the time

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

THIS blog i started after i got locked out of my old one + i did it mostly for gym bc the olympics was happening and i decided this was the year i was gonna try and interact w online gymfans . . . my first ever blog i think i started for pkmn? i’ve had several for several fandoms though lol i had one dedicated almost solely to drag race for a while

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

see my answer to question 1 but ALSO: just . . . look at him. he’s the world’s cutest boy. the rainbow in his hair solved all my problems in life <3

7. why did you choose your header?

bc the worlds 2017 pbars podium is one of my favs they were all so cute . . . oleg getting them all to hold their medals up to their eyes was so sweet . . . and yuanyuan won gold in his debut worlds <3 also they’re just 3 of my favs in general <3

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

i actually don’t know omg?? probably something i said abt lewis hamilton that people agreed with idk 😵‍💫

9. how many mutuals do you have?

i actually don’t know !! i never keep track but i love all of you <3

10. how many followers do you have?

i . . . also don’t know lmao i don’t really look at the numbers 😭

11. how many people do you follow?

idk the specifics but 100% not enough. it’s like . . . double digits. if anyone has blog suggestions to follow (or themselves idm) pls hmu i need my dash spicing up again

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

oh probably loads skdhdks

13. how often do you use tumblr?

every day lol it’s kinda bad. multiple times a day since i have the app so checking it is like. dangerously easy

14. did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

nope !! i’m here for a good time and i don’t rly want to start any fights . . . tho i will lovingly bully my friends <3

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i don’t really like them tbh,, they tend to feel performative and are usually vvv america-centric 😵‍💫

16. do you like tag games?

i love them omg!!

17. do you like ask games?

i do 🥰

18. which of your moots do you think is tumblr famous?

@lewishamlton for the gorgeous edits . . . @saintlysebchal too should be for the same reason. AND @sebastianvettelsgender ur 100% should be famous bc ur gifs are lovely and u single-handedly converted me into a valtteri fan and that means u should have influence over f1blr. also in my head @soviethorror is some sort of celeb just in general. u give off that vibe rat <3 also @woofwoofdaniel

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

no but i am accepting applications

no pressure tags: @soviethorror @urara-ashikawa @fushigidane @saintlysebchal @woofwoofdaniel and anyone else who wants to just say i tagged u bc i did in my heart <3

I- I don't even know what to say. I actually would have been able to finish long time ago but I just could not continue after that scene. I WAS FULL ON SOBBING HAVING A WHOLEASS BREAKDOWN OMGG HE GOT THE ACE NUMBER HES THE FUCKING ACE I WAS JUST ASGSJDJDDKDLDL

Just as that scene came up I just had to stop I could not keep going on and each time I tried to continue I started crying. IM SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM. I felt bad for furuya but OMG MY BABY IM CRYING AGAIN

And omg I love Amahisa he's so cutee I wanna join his LINE group 🥺🥺 And Misawa being Misawa the whole time 🥺❤

I kinda figured out how Sawamura's first match would go but im just 😭😭😭 It's okay baby you can do better next time is what I said BUT WHERE THE HELL IS THE REST VIV??? THAT'S IT??? THAT'S IT??? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY JUST ENDED LIKE THAT?? WHERE IS THE NEXT SEASON 😭😭😭

I even started reading the manga after it cuz I couldn't stop seeing them.

Imma now go rb all the daiya posts from you. I'll put them to queue so you won't get bombarded with notes. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THAT'S IT??!!! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH MY LIFE

I just wanted to say thank you so much for getting me into daiya. This changed my life and I love all of them so fucking much. I'm gonna miss them so much i didn't even want to watch the last episode cuz that meant the end. Thank you so so much 🥺🥺❤❤❤❤❤❤

RIGHT????? RIGHT!!!!!?!??!?!?!?!????!?!???? LIKE BRO THAT EP. THE FUCKING. THE MONTAGE WITH GO EXCEED PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND. I remember watching it with bf when it aired and both of us just YELLING I am SO PROUD like FINALLY HIS TIME HAS COME WE LOVE TO SEE IT.

amahisa my BELOVED......... the boy just wants to have friends in a group chat he’s so cute :’)

ADKLJFLAKSDJFS YOU SOUND LIKE BF AND I MEAN THAT IN THE KINDEST MOST LOVING WAY POSSIBLE LMAO at least once a week he turns to me like so when’s daiya coming back huh asldkfjlaksdf but I know what you mean they really just. ended it. LMAO I’m reading the manga too now lol though I’m a crazy person and I can’t just like. start where the anime left off bc idk Reasons and Rules in my brain so I started from ch1 of act ii so it’s uhhhhhh slow going but I’m working on it!! and I hope u have a great time with the manga!! I think terajima-sensei is a lovely visual storyteller and there are so many stunning panels and stuff!! (and bc I physically Cannot stop myself from looking at spoilers........... many good moments to come after where the anime left off 👀👀👀)

I am SO HAPPY you enjoyed daiya so much!!!!! I really really think it’s SO underrated. the characters and the story and EVERYTHING is just. so good. and it made me learn baseball rules better than literally anything else in my life which bf, a former baseball player, is forever ELATED by. I’m so glad you gave it a shot it’s like. my only goal in life to get more people to watch and enjoy daiya and it’s been a treat getting to re-experience it all for the first time through you :’))))))

thank you @alittleemo for tagging me, I do love to talk and ramble sdjfhkdsjfd

1. why did u choose ur url?

this current one was bcs I've been wanting a bapo url for a while and I finally sat down to think of one and really liked lesbeanadiamcnll so here I am sdjdhfds My last one was half wtfock related and I kinda wanted to switch it up after season 5 anyway but since they decided to really drag this show through the mud I couldn't wait any longer

2. any sideblogs?

I had a taylor swift side blog for a month and then got tf out of that side of tumblr sdkjsdfds its still up bcs I love the url I chose, apart from that, I like keeping my mess in one place <3

3. how long have u been on tumblr?

uhh I think it's coming up on 2 years since I started posting and about 3 since I joined (and then deleted my first blog by accident lmao)

4. do u have a queue tag?

yes, its a sander driesen quote: moonlight was shining down on queue

5. why did u start your blog in the first place?

tbh I don't really remember. I mean I know I joined to look at skam + remakes content but I don't remember why I chose tumblr specifically. I did join at 4am tho so clearly It was a sleep deprived decision.

6. why did u choose ur icon/pfp

bcs its pride and I love Sander Driesen and, as I do with every comfort character, I project my bisexuality onto them so there you have it dkjfsdhfsd

7. why did u choose ur header?

I LOVE the Argentina production of Bare a Pop Opera. I really liked the way they staged/blocked Jason's last scene with him opening those gates to a big bright light 😔😌 Thats what you see in my header :) shoutout to aurore for making it for me

8. how many mutuals do u have?

i don't know....skjshdf I don't keep a tally nor do I have the energy to go find that out right now but I'd say maybe 15? maybe a bit more? maybe a bit less? Do I interact with all of them? nope but I still think they're cool <3

9. how many followers do u have?

wouldn't you like to know /s /j

10. how many people do u follow?

183

11. have u ever made a shitpost?

*sends link to my entire blog*

12. how often do u use tumblr each day?

Its always open on my laptop lmao somedays I'll post and reblog a lot, others I'll jsut check in on what's going on and be very quiet, few times I'll catch up once, and then leave.

13. did u ever fight/argue w another blog? who won?

the only "fight" I've had is the twink peter simmonds discourse which is not a "fight" anymore, its a family <3 Also I'm pretty sure @torisgf and I are gonna exchange punches just to see who could win

14. how do u feel about "u need to reblog these" posts?

I'm gonna steal part of your answer too lee. ngl, I don't read every single activism/long post that I come across bcs I don't always have the energy for it and I don't wanna rb for the sake of rb.

15. do u like tag games?

I do, I just forget to do them most of the time kfjdsfds

16. do u like ask games?

fuck yeah I love talking with purpose

17. which of ur mutuals do u think is tumblr famous?

y-you think I give off tumblr famous vibes?? skdjfhds I'll take it

anygays I'm not gonna tag her bcs *awkward* skdjfhsd but Jenna @/marjvn ....girl I am not worthy dkfjdsfsd she's cool :) and then there's Viv @alexiaugustin , famous in some palces, infamous in others (I mean that's truly iconic). Known for many things and having great takes on everything one of them <3

18. do u have a crush on a mutual?

actually @suburbanenigma and I have been proven to be soulmates so...

Tagging, people I've mentioned here and anyone else who wants to do it dskjfdshf

Hey so I saw you mention top surgery and was curious. I was supposed to be having top surgery this summer but that’s postponed. I was curious how that went with chronic pain? I’m scared about the surgical binder with my fibro and back pain. Any advice or info would be greatly appreciated!! (You can answer privately if you prefer)

ive actually been meaning to write up a big post on this pretty much since i had top surgery but still haven't got around to it yet so I'm happy to talk about it lol. ill go over stuff now n still aim to do a more in depth post later when im on my laptop (but writing this now bc i tend to forget everything haha). ill stick to the more fibro / chronic illness specific stuff & stuff i wasnt expecting rather than rehashing everything. apologies im on mobile so i cant put this under a cut

firstly, im sorry ur surgery got postponed! i know that must be gutting, so i hope it gets rescheduled asap & the time until then passes easily for u ❤️

I had double incision with free nipple grafts on the 4th of september 2019 with Mr Miles Berry at the london wellbeck hospital. i think he did an amazing job and can't recommend him enough for his work! i think the last pics i took of my chest were for tdov, and ill rb them after i post this for reference. i didnt have drains at any point of the surgery

for ppl with fibro, i was told that the pain after surgery either tends to trigger a flareup, or be really easily manageable, and it's hard to predict which it will be beforehand. its best to prepare for a flareup and be pleasently surprised if u dont get one. for me, i had a flareup that sucked but wasnt too bad as far as flareups go

you'll probably get given painkillers. take them regularly. it's easier to treat pain preemptively. if u don't get given them (no idea how it works outside of the uk) id say def get codine and paracetamol. u can't take ibuprofen for a while

i woke up from aneasthetic freezing cold + in a lot of pain. apparently most ppl dont need the full dose of morphine, but i did. after that it was a bit better. i was just So Goddamn Hungry literally it's all i was talking about

that night in hospital was probably one of the most uncomfortable in my life. you have to sleep sitting up for like blood reasons, so my back pain was quite bad bc of it. moving around a bit and adjusting pillows helped. if u have anything that normally helps ur back pain bring it with u to the hospital, & dont be afraid to ask the nurses for help with it (even if they can just adjust ur pillows for u). i couldnt rly sleep much but distraction helps. bring ur phone + headphones. i did a few ask memes when i couldnt sleep

the first week from surgery was rly tough, the first few days especially. this was bc i still had to sleep elevated for a few days and i couldnt get comfortable. i was too exhausted to do anything but couldn't sleep and it rly started to get me down. then i got some sleeping tablets (just nytol) and that helped so much. i literally cannot recommend it enough bc the not sleeping properly made everything hard (and like esp because with fibro the whole pain/fatigue/depression cycle is so real). once i started sleeping better recovery became a lot easier, and the tablets made the awkward sleeping positions more manageable. if i had to give only one bit of advice this would be it

on that note, ik everyone says this but do get a V pillow. it helps u adjust to sleeping on ur back and if u sleep on ur side normally it means u can like lean slightly sideways on it which makes it sm easier. also this isn't even top related but they make good back pillows when ur watching stuff in bed even now

get urself some video games (if ur into them) and easy entertainment shows lined up for when u wanna have them. recovering from major surgery makes ur fatigue even more pronounced so ur not going to be able to do all that much, but having light entertainment ready to go stops u getting as bored. its also a good excuse to finally play/watch the things you've been meaning to for a while

go outside when u can. if u have a garden just walk around it. it helps with a lot of stuff, and idk about u but i always forget how much it does. even just helping u sleep better if u get trapped in a fibro fatigued-but-can't-sleep cycle. and it goes so far helping u feel human in the first week

the first week is rly hard for a lot of ppl - its frustrating to have all that pain and exhaustion and not being able to wash or change the binder, and with the swelling and bandages under the binder it doesn't really feel like there's much change, which all sort of adds together. i keep going on about this week bc it helps to mentally prepare for it - there's no need to dread it, you just need to remind urself how worth it itll all be and that the rest of recovery is a lot better than the first part, and in time it won't have seemed that bad. big picture stuff

when u get the chest reveal, everything's better. i didnt stop smiling. and when u put the post op binder on afterwards, without all the bandaging, u like feel for the first time how much flatter u are??? and its amazing. even with the swelling. and then u get to shower and u feel human again and its great. (ik some ppl have their post ops/chest reveals much earlier than a week, but 5 days to a week is pretty standard in the uk. mine was 6 days i think)

more post op binder stuff: i got given 2. the first one i woke up in after the surgery and wasn't allowed to take off until my post op, and the second one i got given at my post op to change into after i showered. After that i alternated every few days. whatever u get given, if u get less than 2 i recommend getting another one so u can alternate them (if u want help sourcing them hmu. ive also still got mine i need to give away)

the post op binders were actually a lot easier to wear full time than normal binders. they were like more stretchy, and stretchy the full way round (bc they dont have the compression bit at the front). i used to sleep in my normal binder every time i slept with my ex, and that hurt like a motherfuck sometimes. the post op binder was much kinder to my ribs

i had to wear the post op binder full time, taking it off like once a day to shower n let my chest breathe (and massage my scars once i started that). some surgeons arent that strict abt wearing it that long, but it really helps swelling, & bc i didnt have drains it was rly important to stop fluid buildup. ik quite a few guys in my trans groups who stopped wearing their binder fairly early and then got quite a lot of swelling so i didn't want to risk it & i wore it for the full 6 weeks. at some point (icr when but maybe at 6 weeks? bc my post op was at 8 weeks bc he was on holiday) i didnt wear it during the day and only wore it at night

all in all the binder didnt bother me that much. it was more comfortable than my regular binders and i just kinda got on with it. it was annoying tho and i was glad when i could stop wearing it. for me the most annoying part was that it was a full length binder (i always wore half length before) and the riding up at the hips was rly irritating. i actually quite liked sleeping with it tho it was a pretty nice pressure stim ahah

some post op binders r more comfortable than others. if u have to buy ur own, i rly suggest going with a proper surgical one (they arent too hard to find second hand for free or cheap, again im happy to help here) bc they're kinder to chronic pain. i know that having a comfortable post op binder made it all a lot easier for me. there are also lots of alternatives w lots of price ranges tho, so that's not ur only option

ok i think thats everything right now! sorry its so long, but let me know if u have any questions!!

finally: before i got top ppl told me that its honestly life changing, and i didnt realise how true that would be. literally every single aspect of my life is at least partially better because of it, and most of them drastically so. I'm really excited for you to get that for yourself, and im wishing u all the best for it 💕

Line break/read more

Do not rb

[2/2, 11:32 PM] Cristian Gómez: Ok, so here goes

[2/2, 11:34 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i talked over you and interupted you. I have this very bad tendency to not shut up when im nervous, especially around others.

[2/2, 11:34 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i had to ask you to buy me icecream, i know you said its no big deal but it is to me

[2/2, 11:35 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry if i seemed boring and paranoid, ive just always lived in fear till i moved here and even though its been 2 years, i still find it hard to break habita

[2/2, 11:35 PM] Cristian Gómez: But please, i need you to tell me whats wrong

[2/2, 11:37 PM] Cristian Gómez: Remember how i told you i think of ways to escape and how could a person murder me and all that? I am very scared of the unknown and right now i do not be knowing whats up? Did i bore you, dis you find someone else, did you die? My mind keeps jumping to conclusions i know arent true but without your words i cant really kill them off

[2/2, 11:38 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im trying to be more attentive of you and stop being so self centered (which is an oximoron cuz telling other people that youre not thinking about yourself requires you to think about yourself but wrvr)

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: I watched letterkenny, i kinda spoiled that "surprise" when i texted you her face and the naked gym the frats wanted to make

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: But whatever, i did enjoy it and im thankful you showed me it

[2/2, 11:39 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, imma pay you back that icecream 10x

[2/2, 11:41 PM] Cristian Gómez: I finally get payed on wednesday so ill buy the granpa sweater or the windbreaker or the patterned shirts, maybe ill stop by peace nook and get a candle, incense or soap you liked. Whatever it ends up being, ill make sure its shiny

[2/2, 11:41 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, my friend said he could sneak us into his show on thursday, like i said, i really like his drag

[2/2, 11:42 PM] Cristian Gómez: If we sneak in, we may even get a couple drinks if we dont have bracelets

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: And if all you need is space, thats fine! I know i can be a bit much to handle, but please tell me so i dont go off the rails batshit crazy trying to figure out what went wrong

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: I only now realize that typing all this into a private convo is very batshit crazy

[2/2, 11:43 PM] Cristian Gómez: Remember that thing i just said about not shutting up??

[2/2, 11:44 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know theres a lot more i wanted to say but i forget

[2/2, 11:45 PM] Cristian Gómez: Oh, and i didnt really mean to be mean when i called you a nerd for tucking

[2/2, 11:45 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, when i said you were tall, i just wasn't expecting that, cuz everyone ive ever gone out with ends up being smaller than me

[2/2, 11:46 PM] Cristian Gómez: Im sorry i behaved like a 12 yearold, i know its not very attractive to go into a relationship and feel its gonna be a babysitting gig

[2/2, 11:47 PM] Cristian Gómez: Even though im scared, i still challenge myself. Everytime i take a turn at a stoplight my first thought is how someone might run me over

[2/2, 11:48 PM] Cristian Gómez: Everytime its bellow 40, i think of that time i couldnt feel my hands for 2 hours, but i still get on my bike

[2/2, 11:48 PM] Cristian Gómez: And everytime i looked at your messages im reminded of all the sweet nothings people used to say to me to use me

[2/2, 11:49 PM] Cristian Gómez: All the see you laters and the we'll meet someday again

[2/2, 11:50 PM] Cristian Gómez: And even though im deadly terrified of typing something and losing you like ive lost everyone else, i still find the courage to send you something, anything so youd know i really do like you

[2/2, 11:50 PM] Cristian Gómez: I forgot how it felt

[2/2, 11:51 PM] Cristian Gómez: Ive been neeting people ive been interested in for 4 years now and youre the second one ive actually found that i cared about

[2/2, 11:51 PM] Cristian Gómez: Even ones i thought i cared about, i forgot in a week

[2/2, 11:52 PM] Cristian Gómez: And i know i said id stop being self centered and ill ive done is typed and typed, but i genuinely want you to give me a second chance, hopefully ill learn to shut up

[2/2, 11:53 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know youll probs only read this if i ever give you your codename, if i even post these, but this is helping

[2/2, 11:53 PM] Cristian Gómez: Also, sorry i called you adam

[2/2, 11:54 PM] Cristian Gómez: Maybe ill send the lot of these your way one day, where it doesnt matter cuz youre so close or so far appart

[2/2, 11:55 PM] Cristian Gómez: I know you dont want a psycho bf that cant be 10 mins away from you, but if youre leaving, could you please say why?

[2/2, 11:56 PM] Cristian Gómez: This is extremely pessimistic and theres that overworking brain again, but did you even care? I wanna say yes cuz you payed for my icecream and didnt just blow me off at the first chance, also you went out with me after a week or so of texts, most people would have just made something up, so i really appreciate you

[2/2, 11:57 PM] Cristian Gómez: UGHHH, i just need an answer at this point i dont mind if its yes or no

[2/2, 11:57 PM] Cristian Gómez: Did your messages get stuck? Did my phone mute you?

[2/3, 12:02 AM] Cristian Gómez: Oh yea, this goes without saying, but i dont wanna seem manipulative, these last couple day (oly shit its only been a day, why did i blow this out of proportion so damn much?!?) Have been very retrospective

[2/3, 12:03 AM] Cristian Gómez: I also dont want the gift to be manipulative, its something ive always believed in, ask my friends, no one should leave empty handed

[2/3, 12:04 AM] Cristian Gómez: And i probs would have only gotten you the candles, but bc you bought ice cream and youre so damn hot, ill bump it up

[2/3, 12:05 AM] Cristian Gómez: Im way overdue on payments and my bike insurance is almost up, but its only good for the other guy, so if i crash its very unlikely ill even need to pay them

[2/3, 7:50 AM] Cristian Gómez: Was it that i didnt try anything romantic? Didnt hold your hand or stayed away when i said goodbye? I dont know how to read limits so i just default to professional until someone tells me to do something

[2/3, 8:37 AM] Cristian Gómez: Was it the blue nails? I swear that was the jeans

it took me the longest time to realize this, but jade had only befriended me for self validation abt their abuser, broden. i have screenshots and further information under the cut.

i initially befriended jade after they informed me broden was worse than he had made himself out to be. and so i proceed to block him off everything i had him on. soon after, me and jade became close. however, jade was... incredibly weird abt it regarding broden and would constantly point out how they ‘stole’ me from him. i can only show screenshots to show what i mean.

“[jade] LOL i was going thru brodens whining tag again

[image from broden’s blog reading “You, Jade, are worse than evil. Worse than a cyberbully, even. Rae is blocking me because of you and your so-called ‘act of justice’ against me. Well you know what? You’re the monster made by your own heinous ambition, slowly abusing me to death with threats and insults towards me.”]

[jade] now we’re best friends lol die mad freak

[jade] ‘worse than evil’ takes ur friends anyway”

“broden you know that even if me and rae werent friends they’d still hate you lmao”

“’lose/lose’ idk man im the one who gained a bunch of awesome friends who support me....and you have none....”

“[screenshot of a post from broden reading “There is also no reason to include anyone else in this situation besides you, your boyfriend and me. Nobody else, not even Rae, should’ve gotten involved with this situation.”]

broden you can’t get mad at ME after i gave you like dozens of chances to stop being a piece of shit before outing you to the people you were lying to. and you literally cannot get mad that rae (and everyone) fucking hates you now because you literally make no effort in any of your friendships! anytime anything happens you just completely give up and throw yourself a pity party like ‘well i guess this is goodbye’ or something and put absolutely 0 effort into fixing any of your relationships so the only person you have to blame for the fact you have no friends is yourself. also me and rae are best friends now are u mad? sorry i helped one of your victims broden. die mad about it.”

“broden im sorry im so much fucking better than you, have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and super awesome friends who are funny and i have fun with and dont abuse and that im actually likable as a person“

“if im just stirring up old drama and youre just some innocent uwuwu then why do i have so many friends and support from them and you’re all alone bc youre repulsive...”

“broden are you mad i exposed you to your friend and now we both validate each other as victims of you and i’m a better friend than you could ever dream to be“

“[screenshot from brodens blog reading “anonymous said: so like...why do you hate abuse survivors tho” broden responding “You may be an abuse survivor but it doesn’t give you the right to be abusive. I don’t hate you, I’m disappointed that you are not able to be something else than the thing that you hate. You gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed into you... I’m sorry.”]

[jade] this is so fucking edgy like shut the fuck up and stop shitting on abuse survivors you fucking idiot. why dont you explain to @gravecores and @pyjuumun how we’re idiots for standing up to our abuser and how that somehow makes US abusive. fuck off.”

even putting posts i made abt the broden situation into their broden tag which broden does go through (#b)... and sure i did give them permission to rb these but the fact they threw some of this into a tag they have dedicated to broden and they know he sifts through says a lot.

“[me] broden, to me: jade said it wrong i actually only rped rape and pedophilia many years ago

broden, right now on his blog: rping rape and pedophilia

[jade] broden: says fucking anything

me: *fucking sorting through all the proof of himself digging his own fuckin ass grave* mhmmmm go on go on”

“broden… the themes you do in your threads are extremely explicit and to me its genuinely hilarious how you try and excuse your fetishes with “but its fictional!!!!!!” and. its not the fact you rp those themes that makes her call you an abuser. theres so much more to that. the fact you want to sit there and type out how someone is involved in incest and how exactly someone is raped just shows to me that it isnt just some story plot or whatever. if you have the balls to sit there and type that out, it shows me you have rape and incest as some sort of fetish.

trust me broden if it were just mentions here and there i wouldnt think much of it. but in your story ive seen the incest and pedophilia being normalized and ive seen you type out in detail how someone is raped. im begging you to please realize that can only show you have all of these as a fetish or kink or whatever. again, if they were just mentions here and there i would think nothing of it.

broden im literally on my knees and BEGGING for you to realize that your actions are speaking so much louder than your words. ik you like to think jade is on your ass for “fictional rp themes” but! she has a valid reason to be + all the other things youve done to her! im sorry broden you are just. not in the right in this case.”

“[me] idk what kinda fuckshit is making ppl believe “oh yeah the victim is now being the abuser” but im almost sure its because ppl have no idea how abuse works.

[jades tags] #hm i would die for you? #b”

theres probably more to it, but i think you could get the gist of it. jade befriended me for nothing more than self validation and using me to take jabs at our abuser and it really fucking shows. after all during our friendship all they would talk abt was him. we barely had any normal conversations. if it wasnt abt broden, it was abt smth else that was bothering them. so go figure.

so before jade wants to throw out there that i was a fake friend for making a single mistake they never even allowed me to apologize for, maybe they should think this over abt how they used me to get back at their abuser.

can you do hcs of trans!boy Phil's first time w dan?? Preferably phil as the bottom💗💗

word count: 1101

warnings: oral, fluffy times, praise kinda, not much its v pure, non penetrative first times

a/n: i use the word clit to describe phils genitalia bc thats what i still call my stuff when i id as a boy, but if anybody would like a reword with cock/dick bc they feel more comfy with that i can reword it and post it/add it onto this in an rb!!

“What do you want me to do?”Dan’s voice was unsure, shaky and timid as he settled between Phil’s legs. He didn’t want to mess up, make Phil uncomfortable or nervous. He was a romantic at heart, and he wanted their first time to be special. They’d had skype sex before, of course, but there was a huge difference between dirty talking Phil through humping a pillow and actually getting to touch him.

“Just… touch at first I guess? You don’t have to use your mouth if you don’t want to.”Phil explained, shuffling up on the bed so Dan could lie on his stomach, he wanted things to be as comfortable as possible for his boyfriend. Dan was still in his t shirt and boxers, and when he adjusted to get closer the shirt rode up, revealing that soft, peach-toned skin Phil wanted to mark up so badly.

“No, wanna get my mouth on you, taste you.”Dan insisted, pulling down Phil’s boxers, assisted by an eager wiggle of his hips. He giggled, kissing at Phil’s thighs and marking them up just a little, enough to hear Phil whimper without teasing him too much. Phil’s impatient and already aching though, so he guides Dan’s head by his hair, smiling when he feels it’s already curling up with sweat. He loves his boyfriend’s curls.

Dan closes his eyes—he feels like that’s what you’re supposed to do giving oral, right?—and dips his tongue between the soft, hot folds. He can feel Phil get wetter, a slickness he’s not familiar with, as he’s really only sucked cocks before. He loves it though, suddenly obsessed with the idea of teasing Phil until he’s desperate and soaked, throbbing and squeezing his thighs together like he can hardly bear the feeling. As tempting as it is, he’s got a more important job to take care of right now, he pushes the thought aside for later.

He drags his tongue up slowly, nervous and shy but so, so eager to make Phil feel good. He knows when he’s approaching his clit, can tell by the way Phil’s starting to shake, eager little twitches and jerks of his hips giving him more than enough of a hint. Dan pulls away for a moment, eyes fluttering open to find Phil flustered and panting, blushing from his cheeks down to his chest. He’s fucking precious like that, Dan thinks, and he dives back down quickly, drowning out his nerves and lapping over Phil’s clit without any hesitance.

Phil jolts like he’s been shocked, back arching off the bed and hips bucking up, rutting against Dan’s face. Dan’s hands shoot up and grab Phil’s lovehandles, clutching the sensitive skin and swirling his tongue. It’s new and unfamiliar and Dan’s got no idea what he’s doing really, but he can tell Phil likes it, he’s whimpering out little “yeah, just like that”’s and gasping like all the air’s been punched from his lungs, so Dan’s not stopping for anything.

“S-suck it,” Phil pants, “like a cock, please.” Dan can’t deny a plea like that, and he wraps his lips around Phil’s clit, lapping over the head like he would the tip of a dick, and bobbing his head. Phil fucking sobs, his thighs tremble around Dan’s head harsh enough he can feel it, feel the muscles quivering, tightening and untightening. It’s cute, in an odd way that Dan thinks only he’d view as cute. But everything Phil does feels precious to him, somehow, so why would that exclude his reactions in the bedroom?

And he tells him so, “you’re so adorable baby, so sensitive, does it feel good?” Dan’s never been confident in his dirty talking skills, but he loves telling Phil how good he looks, how much he loves him, so it comes easily sometimes. And Phil soaks all the affection up, squirming and whining with every praise, every sweet little tease, because sometimes he can’t get his head around how much Dan loves him, and the words are a lovely reminder that he can show all of himself to Dan, share all of himself with Dan, and only receive more love in return

The thought is so sappy Phil wouldn’t dare to say it outloud, but combined with Dan humming around his clit, making soft, but intense vibrations, it sends him over the edge. He cums shaking, one hand gripping Dan’s hair like a vice, and the other digging his fingers into the pillow. Dan holds his hips still, warm, strong hands keeping him from bucking up frantically. Phil’s grateful for it, if Dan wasn’t holding him down he wasn’t sure he wouldn’t writhe right off the bed.

When Phil’s done, he sits up and pushes Dan onto his back, pulling his boxers down and wrapping his lips around the head of his cock. Dan’s easy to get in his mouth, he’s average length, but thick in just the way Phil likes. The girth forces his lips to stretch around his cock, and it burns a little, but Phil doesn’t mind–he likes pain when he’s in the right mood.

Dan cums within minutes, he’s young and easy to please and Phil’s more than desperate to make sure he feels good, repay the pleasure he gave him. He swallows and Dan grimaces teasingly, not caring when it earns him a play-scolding slap on the thigh from Phil.

“Just because you don’t like swallowing doesn’t mean I cant.”Phil insists, shuffling up beside Dan and resting his head on his shoulder. Dan rolls his eyes, but he’s grinning so wide Phil wants to laugh because he can’t believe anybody could be so head-over-heels for him.

“I’m glad I don’t have to do that anymore.”Dan says, brushing Phil’s fringe to the side and kissing his forehead.

“What if I squirt?”Phil teases, expecting another gag or cringe from his boyfriend. All he gets from Dan is a wink, however, and he pushes him by the shoulder, giggling and mumbling a soft “I hate you,” under his breath.

“Love you too, sweetheart.”Dan says, and though Phil groans and flips over, facing away from him, he can tell he’s smiling, and that’s enough to make him smile too.

-

I’m on a coomputer so I’m going to do this and then I have to go get ready for an appointment and work on commissions and stuff. Feel free to RB this or dm me for further discussion.

bolded is my response because I want to make sure i touch on everything. this format is going to be how i handle long replies from now on btw

@excalibelle & @popplio-posts this is very long and sorry??? idk its kinda hard to express opinions that have changed after clarification bc they were based on what i first read and stuff but here.

_____ I’m confused? Are we supposed to be perfectly okay promoting bigots as long as they’re also part of a minority group? I mean, that doesn’t sound right to me?

That wasn’t the point of my comment.  I don’t follow the blog to begin with hence why i wasn’t super sure and the only page i could load on my phone properly was their mod page, which i wanted to check before saying anything.

I obviously can’t speak on the race thing, but if someone reblogged someone who was, for example, nb and talking about nb issues, and that person turned out to be a bigot, I’d want cis and binary trans people to find nbs who are saying similar things and promote them and their voices instead.

And that’s fine however there aren’t many black voices being heard as it is on this hellsite and I never saw another post talking about the fact whitewashing was an issue until I even saw that post.

 If there are other posts made by other black people that’s great, I havent’t seen them. Additionally, seeing as from what I read the mod who answered was white it seemed kind of sketchy to me seeing as they [ill check pronouns after i do this and correct them when I get back] chose to no platform someone talking about a problem that harms black people based on them being aphobic, which I’ll get into a little more in the next paragraph.

I don’t know if the one who made the post about whitewashing is a discourse blog, someone who actively harrasses ace people and posts extremely nasty stuff, or just someone who occasionally posts aphobic humor once in a while, if it’s the latter that’s nearly every blog on tumblr with a large following and I feel like thats not the best reason to no platform someone or delete a post thats not talking about lgbt+ stuff at all. I’d get it if it was however.

 Otherwise it seems like you’re telling people who that person is bigoted against that you don’t care about them or their issues or whatever, I guess? (General you here)

I mean I’m an ace person who’s black and harmed just as much as anyone else if not more seeing as the discourse has an overwhelmingly large amount of white people on both sides who enjoy speaking over and tokenizing black ppl... 

I’ve made multiple posts about the harmful experiences I’ve had with aphobic people both on this blog, in my time on tumblr, and the experiences I’ve had irl or on other websites.

 I don’t think me mentioning this suddenly devalues the 1000+ posts or 100+ personal posts I have talking about things that have harmed me .

And like, that doesn’t seem intersectional to me? I mean I can’t see how this is different from, say, no platforming TERFS even when they talk about women and not trans people or whatever.

This is where I’m confused because I never said it was intersectional, which is why I didn’t understand why someone was getting a post on racial stuff deleted because they were aphobic. I may not have the right understanding of that word, so explanation would be really great and appreciated.

As for the TERF part. So.

Because I got two anons [the same person] who also mentioned this:

 It’s not only off-putting but also extremely upsetting to have someone not even bother to look through my blog or even check my byf page or about page or anything where it states I don’t tolerate TERFs interacting with me, how is me talking about something aphobia and race related equal to me supporting terfs. 

I honestly don’t really appreciate it because I wasn’t hostile to begin with but all of a sudden because I don’t agree with how a certain thing is being handled I’m lumped with one post due to me misunderstanding it I’m suddenly a terf apologist? Uh... Yeha, no???? that’s??? really gross???

I was corrected after seeing further elaboration on the post in question so my opinion has changed however the fact that it went from like... 10 to 100 is kind of a defining moment for me in realizing yet again the discourse as a whole is a mess and things are never handled properly. 

☔️ i lov u!

its long but its 3 paragrpahs of shit and me going what the hell am i writing every 2 lines sorry el one day ill do a better one

send me ☔ and ill tell u what kinda weather u remind me of!!

id say!!! a light drizzle while the sky is clear and the sun’s hiding in between the clouds but its still There?? u know so its bright but theres just this drizzle and the actual feeling sucks bc its so Humid but theory wise or some shit idk english its like!!!!!!!!!!! u can be Both............. god i dont have enough english? vocabulary? literacy ? for this ask who am i gghssdj back 2 this lmaodhdsgh fuk ok sO im saying ur a light drizzle while its still Clear And Bright outside bc ur always!!!!! u love people? now all of this is just an observation obviously and ill always bring up that one time i sent u 7 asks as to why i love mx dhjsghgdh bc it was our first interaction but u like?? listening? u love ur friends? and ur always!! looking for ways to interact with ur followers/mutuals and ofchfhd i dont actually Know? so i could b wronghdhg but i think youre a loving person? thats why ur bright but its in the little ways??? you love a lot of people/things (fish) and i like seeing that?? you express it a lot too but its ? in an obvious way i mean its Not Loud? of course u make posts and stuff! but i see a lot of ur love in how u go on mh/kh spams and those r great love them ! its the little things so ur like the sun... hidden behind clouds?? u kno... u dont? its okie me neither jhdhshgh also ur rly fucking funny but no one seems to notice like hello. el comedy legend...? (this is where the mess begins) for the drizzle part ofc i cant say for sure again since its ur life but from what ive seen there are times u get a little down? and thats fine! its normal to feel stuffghd and like!!!!!! id say light drizzle because to me,,, i think ur trying ur best?? youre doing a great job in my opinion even if you think you arent doing anything at all,,, idk maybe hfggshg maybe not dhggdsbut i apprecitae u for sticking around not necessarily with me as my friend but just around. here. on earth on tumblr . sticking around in a sense that??? ur !! Herefhgsghhfgg fucc... this is tough to explain but u knowfhhdggshsj this could come off as offensive and i know everyone has troubles deeper than what we can see but i say light rain bc um. fhjfgdhs my brain is having a meltdown wait let me just say this first i think its good that u talk abt ur troubles here even if. its like. not all of it. because its good to Vent somewhere and!!! im proud of u for talking abt it!!!! im not gonna say ur a light rain bc ur not. like sad or anything bc obviously i dont know that but bc ????? urfhjhd easy on the eyes? this is deviating completely from my original point but at tfhjdhjs jesus christ let me start another paragraph

OK OK u can wipe that drizzle part from above completely from ur memory but thats what i was thinking regardless of weather or whatever i love ur doing amazing el next. (i feel like mx when they had to describe their members in weathers. more specifically i feel like hyungwon who forgot everything)

drizzle!!!!!!!!!! u remind me of a drizzle because ur light not like physically fjhsgh but like!!! oH AND NOT because ur like see through or just invisible no its bc ur always HEre?????? like i see u around and stuff  ofc i follow u but!! like i always see u be it ur text posts or when u rb something or when ur answering asks idk ur just around????? just hanging about constantly and i like seeing u!!! this is admittedly a bunch of shit now what do i do.......... im cryign im sorry this is cancelled but everything i said is true i love seeing u i love seeing u talk to people i love u!!!!! god helpme im sorry this is a mess ill do this again like7 years later where im not 16 and lacking words. id say easy on the eyes is the best reason? like u. ur nice to look at its nice to see you around like i mentioned previously imdhgdghsgdhgdh im yelling u dont have 2 look at this el i love fufgfhd

hey everyone!!! i’m d, i’m 23, and i use they/them pronouns. super hyped about being here so i’ma just get right into it

so kai is my fave character and kinda notoriously The Worst while also being The Best, so i’m warning y’all before we even go in that he’s actually so sloppy and wild pls proceed w/ caution. i’ve been playing him for over 4 years. that being said, he does have a fuck ton of information, so while the bullet points are going to be as condensed as i can possibly make them, you should really check out the appearance section (or you can just look at my sidebar which is wonderful artwork of kai one of my close friends did for me --- give them love on their art blog nialls ok SO talented) of his STATS FRAMEWORK and then if you really hate yourself i have a DEVELOPMENT TAG too with a bunch of headcanons (feel free to RB the rebloggable ones from me btw)

LOUIS TOMLINSON? no ⏤ KAI LANCASTER, the DEMIBOY is TWENTY-THREE and was born with a GOLD soul, and now has a GREY soul. i would describe HIM/THEM as EXUBERANT + BRAVE, yet CARELESS + IMPATIENT. KAI spends HIS/THEIR time PLAYING AT SMALL VENUES WITH HIS ALT ROCK BAND AND WORKING AS A NANNY and has lived in seattle for TWO YEARS.

TW FOR TERMINAL ILLNESS/CANCER, SUBSTANCE ABUSE MENTIONS, ABLEISM, & MENTIONS OF SELF-HARM/SUICIDE.

kai was born a gold soul into a pretty posh, old-money typea family in manchester, uk. like i’m talking on his mothers side they’re all doctors, lawyers, scholars, etc, etc, and on his dad’s side entrepeneurs. his parents themselves built a fairly large business from the ground up together that now goes by the name of lancaster industries. their current biggest venture and pretty much what they’ve built the whole of their fortune on is a chain of luxury hotels that you can find basically in every major city in the world.

he had 3 younger sisters who he essentially raised considering his parents were too busy to be around during their childhood. only two of them are still living, his youngest sister having passed a couple years ago at the age of 7 from leukemia.

his mother is literally the devil? kai always hated school/struggled in it for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which were his not diagnosed adhd and his dyslexia, which he never got the help he probably needed for. he’s always kinda just thought he was extremely stupid, and that idea was reinforced by the way his mother always used to tell him the very same thing. “think harder, kai. use your brain.” is a phrase that’s essentially been reinforced so many times in his head, he p much hears her voice ringing in his ears every time he gets so much as vaguely confused now.

that being said, despite how he struggled in school, he was always a very vibrant, kind, charismatic, and magnetic young person. he tends to draw people into him with his silly nature and upbeat attitude, and he’s kind of the Eternal Optimist, so he was fairly popular when he was attending. to say he has eccentricities would be putting it lightly, and he’s loud, never seeming to run out of things to say or fail to command the interest of the room.

anyway things with his mum only got worse in his relationship with her when he barely managed to complete his a levels by the skin of his teeth (and with an absurd amount of tutoring), and then refused to go to the university of her choosing. she p much wanted him to “get his shit together” so he could take over the family business someday, but i am not kidding when i say kai would wilt away and probably legit just die if he had to work in a place like that forever – and that’s assuming he even got through business school in the first place.

his father was always a push-over and sort of was absent/bent to her will when he was around, so he didn’t bother to defend kai when his mother decided 2 cut him off from everything and essentially ex-communicate him once she realised he was refusing 2 be manipulated and forced into shit anymore.

that was at age 18, and by that point he had plans to move out and travel to london with his best mate anyway, so he was basically like “peace out” and got the hell out of dodge. he still harbours a lot of guilt for abandoning his younger sisters, particularly so considering his youngest one fell ill so soon after his departure.

he lives, breathes, and sleeps piano. music as a whole is something he’s passionate about, having taken the time to develop his somewhat unorthodox voice, but the way his fingers fly over the ivories is a living art form more than it is anything. it’s how he communicates, how he speaks his deepest truth and just like? put those feelings out there into the world that he otherwise wouldn’t be able to articulate in the common vernacular.

so what he wants to do with his life is to just? talk to people? through his music? to play for them and the be in front of a crowd every night and to feel the energy of them, to command them with his presence and to exist with them in that way. he almost gets high off of it? he’s been playing small shows since age nineteen with his band, but since he moved to america he obvi hasn’t had them and has been on his own.

SORRY I’M REALLY TRYING TO CONDENSE THIS so ok basically he was in love w this girl from the time they were 14. they lost their virginity 2 each other, they were on & off all through HS, & then through to age 20 after he moved away and all that. she was v v ill and struggled with mental illness and kai tried his best 2 take care of her, but he was always in over his head despite his dedication to like making her feel OKAY. she needed help that he could not give 2 her, and they ended up breaking up & him letting her go at the end. she died soon after that, and it remains unclear 2 him whether or not it was a suicide. it was officially ruled as an “accident”, but he knows different and yeah i mean. essentially like.... the most “smudges” on his soul kinda came from his sitch w her bc he was always coming and leaving and dropping her and returning when she needed him and like. he TRIED but he just COULDN’T? anyways

after that he got involved with this boy who was a substance abuser, addicted to H to b exact, and for a while he thought that he was getting better and they were building off of each other, building a healthy life together. the fact he called kai his “new addiction” was probably never a good thing, but kai didn’t recognize that at the time. they got engaged eventually, and kai was 100% convinced that he was the actual love of his life after caro. of course, in the end, it wasn’t built to last, and when it went bad, it went really bad. kai eventually felt like there was a chasm several miles deep between them, and he had no hope of getting to the other side again. he broke it off, broke the guy’s heart, and made his soul even darker.

THIS NEXT ONE IS KINDA AN OPTION CONNECTION OKAY SO IF ANY1 IS INTERESTED PLS PLS LMK!!!

kai has been posting vids on YT of him covering songs on his YouTube for like actual years, and when he was around 20 he met this person via the comments section on one of them. they seemed to be quite the fan of his interpretation of some of the songs he chose to play. they ended up talking more and more as time went on, exchanging contact information, and grew very very very close.

that was the start of the LDR that is what brought him to america/to seattle in the first place. they were together for about eight months and had seen each other in person three times for a total of about 3 weeks before he made the decision to get started on his visa and move to the states. the moment he was able to, he crossed the pond and moved in w them!!

strain on their relationship was created when at first kai was unable to find work and contribute to the bills and the household funds. they lived in a tiny flat, and going from barely seeing each other to having each other all at once and all the time was a lot. on top of that, kai was homesick and restless and felt trapped because that’s what kai does and it’s not okay and it’s totally wrong and he cheated on them soooo there’s another tick against his soul ig. within six months of his arrival, they broke up, and kai moved out.

he couch surfed w some friends he’d met 4 a while, and eventually found a decent paying job as a nanny for a well off family.

he plays live shows at small venues in bars/clubs and still seeks to make a living as a musician but it’s hard out there and plus his soul aint exactly the prettiest to look at any more. i mean he doesn’t have a DARK DARK grey soul, it’s more a lighter grey, not quite silver, but definitely not storm clouds.

he’s still working on getting his full citizenship though he’s v v v close 2 it & has been lowkey getting help from his cousin w paying for the process so!!

THAT’S BASICALLY IT

last but not least IM REALLY FUCKING SORRY  ICOULDN’T MAKE THIS SHORTER I JUST HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS AND fEELIGNSA

SEND ME AN IM OR LIKE IF YOU WANT TO PLOT!