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bard-llama · 1 year

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WiP Wednesday: The Seduction of the Innocent

Okay, firstly, this entire idea is really the brainchild of myself and steveelotaku and we’ve had fun coming up with stuff for it. The title is his suggestion - based on that crackpot book written about Batman and Robin being gay and corrupting the youth of America. It’s PERFECT for a fic that is all about Zuko writing a comic strip to help support his thesis as he goes to Ba Sing Se University lol

Premise: Zuko needs a hobby to keep himself occupied during the idle times of teaserving/vigilantism - and ends up writing. His new BFF Jin also suggests that he apply for Ba Sing Se University when his history of researching the Avatar and their cultures comes out. So Zuko ends up writing a thesis that studying ancient/declining cultures (Air Nomads and the Water Tribes) is worthwhile in the world today (bc the Water Tribes still exist and there’s 1 living Air Nomad). To help make his point/spread knowledge about the different cultures, he and Jin end up creating a comic series about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar (and co). Through the hijinks of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar traveling around the world (remember, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se), they fight crime and evildoers and teach each other about their cultures.

So, right now I’m thinking this is actually 2 fics: a prequel and a sequel. The prequel will be all about establishing Zuko going to Uni and creating the comic and some of its effects (it’s REALLY popular with kids!). The sequel is when the Gaang (Zuko coined the name) finds out about the comics and read them - and then Aang, who KNOWS who the Blue Spirit is, goes looking for the author to confront them. He suspects it’s Zuko, but he doesn’t actually BELIEVE that it’s really Zuko. After all, how could ZUKO get into Ba Sing Se and why would he write comics explaining how the Air Nomads believed in peace?

(For those that dislike shipping in atla, the sequel will have some Zuko/Aang, but probably T-rated teens dating. Not wholly sure yet, but I think the whole series will be T)

So far, I have a few random scenes written, so I’ll share some snippets here, but also, I HAVE to tell you about what steveelotaku came up with for the comic!!!

The Comics

So like I said, the premise of the comics is: the adventures the Gaang + the Blue Spirit get up to, while fighting off their standard array of villains. (Credit for these goes to steveelotaku, who is incredible and came up with GREAT villains!)

The Big Bad: Fire Lord Ozai

But, I hear you say, there’s no war in Ba Sing Se! So how-? Well, the answer is - Zuko REALLY wanted to draw his dad receiving a pie to the face (look, he’s upset about the whole traitor thing and he needs an outlet) from Aang, so he invented a silly Silver Age Comics campy reason for why the Fire Lord hates the Avatar: the Avatar blew storm clouds over his parade and RUINED his hair! (Ozai hates getting wet 😂)

Other Recurring Villains:

Sparkler, the Princess of Pyromania: Fire-themed villain with a mysterious connection to the Blue Spirit and a grudge against them

The Koan: Basically Buddhist Riddler. "What is the sound of one hand picking your pocket?" "If a building blows up, and no one is around to see it, did I commit a crime?"

The Cabbage Merchant of Death: Literally just the cabbage merchant, but breeding his cabbages to attack humanity as vengeance for overturning his cart. (The Cabbage Merchant actually loves the comics and his portrayal. Someone recognized his plight! So he taped one of the panels to his cart.)

The Tapestry: Literally a guy dressed in a tapestry who makes horrible weaving jokes and uses sharp threads. "Knit one, purl-oin two gold bars!"

The Ember Island Jester: The only actor to be fired from the Ember Island Players, because his jokes were terrible. His crimes are all theater-themed and he wears a comedy mask. "Four nations, all alike in dignity, all ripe for the plundering!" "It's curtains for you, Blue Spirit! -drops a heavy curtain on him-"

The Nightingale: Basically the Penguin, but with an army of robot nightingales, like in the old Chinese fable about the Emperor who forgot how a nightingale had brought him joy when a mechanical one is given to him, only for it to save him later. Only this time, the Nightingale is some minor noble who got fired and now keeps pestering Ozai with his robot nightingales and Ozai has to call for the Blue Spirit, much to his frustration. "The Nightingale sings the song of your doom!" Aang: "How does that go?" "Uh...doom! DOOM DOOM DOOM! DOOM doom DOOOOOM!"

Okay, so those are our Villains. Now what about our heroes? Remember, the Gaang is being written by Zuko - who may do lots and lots of research and maybe has stalked them on occasion, but still doesn’t really KNOW them.

The Blue Spirit - Zuko goes in hard on the tropes, so the Blue Spirit is totally the broody badboy. He has a secret identity that no one knows. Also, he tells tea jokes and makes tea puns. Iroh is very proud.

Aang, The Avatar - Aang is the epitome of “peace, love, and happiness make the world go round” (real Aang finds this hilarious) but he’s also an incurable prankster

Toph, The Avatar’s Earthbending Teacher - Toph is the buffest, littlest character there is and it is unclear whether she beats villains with her bending or her fists or if the two are one and the same.

Katara, The Avatar’s Waterbending Teacher - Katara is the scariest motherfucker on the team and Zuko stands by that. She has some of the corny “hope” lines, complementing Aang, but mostly, it’s her determination that makes her scary. When she decides something, it happens. (Zuko might be projecting a bit, but he’s not wrong.)

Sokka, The Avatar’s Jester/Strategist - Sokka is the straight forward comic relief and is a walking joke, but he does tend to suggest the plans that work... they’re just very, very ridiculous, in line with Silver Age comics ridiculousness.

And some choice lines by steveelotaku:

"Holy cumulus, Blue Spirit! The Fire Nation's set fire to the tea tree grove!" "The fiends! It's not enough for them to boil it too long--now they're roasting it to ashes!" "Halt, Blue Spirit! Your pathetic crusade of justice stops here!" "It's that suspicious sous-chef of sabotage, Serial Griller! Fire Lord Ozai's right hand cook!" "That's right, Blue Blunder! And today's special is deep fried masked man with a side of Avatar fries!"

"Blue Spirit! Help!" "By the subtle tang of oolong tea! Avatar, you're turning into a were-bison!" Not a trick! Not an imaginary story! The Avatar's best friend might just be his doom! Can Aang and the Blue Spirit survive...THE NIGHT OF THE APPA-LLING WERE-BISON?!

AND NOW, THE SECRET ORIGIN OF THE BLUE SPIRIT: A nameless warrior stands on the battlefield in the pouring rain. Another village massacred, the survivors left for dead. He alone had dared to speak against this heinous crime, and for that he was cast out from the only family he had. Hiding within a teahouse, he took with him the one souvenir of that battle he dared to claim--the mask of the Blue Spirit, a warrior who had fought for justice against his cruel oppressors. Now, the warrior takes the mantle for himself--to find redemption, or die trying!

Snippets:

The Beginning

Zuko needed a hobby, was the thing. He was really, really busy in Ba Sing Se, between being a tea server and being the Blue Spirit. But there was a lot of idle time in both roles and Zuko just needed something to keep him occupied. It wasn’t supposed to turn into a big thing.

Only one day, Jin had caught him writing at the teashop and demanded to read it and… look. It was just a lark. It was just a funny little idea that he was toying with. It didn’t mean anything.

It was in the afternoon lull and Uncle was, fortunately, in the backroom, doing tea things. Meanwhile, Zuko’s only other customer was an old accountant who was always buried in their books and never registered anything going on around them. They liked Pao’s strongest tea.

This meant that there was no one else around to see the look on Jin’s face when she read through his scrawled handwriting – he was much better at writing with a calligraphy brush, but these days, charcoal was as good as it got – depicting a silly dialogue exchange between the Blue Spirt and the Avatar. It was just one of the questions he’d always wanted to ask the Avatar, one that wasn’t really important, but that had bothered him until he’d researched it anyway.

“Li,” she said slowly.

Zuko gulped. “Yeah?”

“This… this is good,” she said with a tone of wonder. “Seriously, I really like this!”

“You… do?” Zuko blinked, not sure what to do with that. “But it’s – it’s–”

“Funny? Enjoyable? Cute?”

“Dumb.”

“Bullshit,” Jin said bluntly. “You’re allowed to enjoy dumb things, Li. As long as it’s fun, what else matters?”

Zuko frowned. That was not a philosophy about life that he was familiar with.

“Do you think the Avatar really throws pies in people’s faces?” Jin asked with a laugh.

“Oh, that bit I can confirm,” Zuko flashed a brief grin. “I found a letter from the King of Omashu to the Southern Air Temple that very specifically said Aang and his friends had pie’d the King’s Guard.”

Jin blinked. “What do you mean, you found a letter?”

“Oh,” Zuko bit his lip, realizing he really shouldn’t have said that. “I, um. I… studied the Avatar. For a long time. And the Air Nomads and the Water Tribes, a little bit.”

“Really?” Jin looked excited, of all things. “That’s so cool! So you were a mini scholar before tragedy struck, huh? Are you gonna try to apply for Ba Sing Se University? You should!”

“I… what?”

“It’s not often someone from the Lower Ring gets accepted,” Jin said, “but it does happen! And I know you’d study really hard and there are scholarships and things to help pay for it. You should try!”

“I’ll… think about it?” Zuko said, taken entirely off guard.

“You should write more, too,” Jin encouraged. “Honestly, it’s a really fun scene. I kinda wanna draw it.”

Jin’s family ran what was probably one of the best places in town to get writing and illustration done on a budget. This meant that Jin spent a lot of time drawing what she called ‘very boring adverts’. He wouldn’t think his scene was that interesting either, but Jin’s face was genuine and she smiled at him.

“Really?” he couldn’t help but ask.

“Yeah, absolutely,” Jin grinned, “just the visual of the Fire Lord getting a pie in the face–” she broke down laughing.

Zuko flushed. It was possible he was a bit upset with his father for marking him as a traitor and sending his sister to bring him home in chains. And it wasn’t like a little pie had ever hurt anyone…

During Zuko’s Tour of Ba Sing Se University (from the POV of the admissions tour guide)

“As part of your curriculum. You don’t study other cultures, like the Water Tribes and the Air Nomads?”

There was a loud scoff from behind Min and she turned to see Professor Lang sneering down his nose at the kid.

“Of course not,” he said. “What use is there in studying ancient civilizations?”

The kid looked confused for a brief moment… and then he got mad, and wow, he was actually kind of scary underneath that scruffy unkemptness.

“The Water Tribes aren’t dead! And even if the Air Nomads are, there’s still reason to learn about them!”

“And what, pray tell, would that be?”

The kid had a pretty impressive snarl. “The Earth Kingdom has trade contracts relating to the Water Tribes, who are still alive. And there’s one living Air Nomad now, too!”

Min blinked. What did that mean?

“Pah,” Professor Lang spat. “The Avatar is not part of any culture.”

The what?

“The Avatar isn’t told until they turn sixteen. Until that age, Avatar Aang was and still is an Air Nomad.”

What!?

“The… Avatar?” Min said vaguely. How had she not heard about this? “The Avatar is back? And they’re an Air Nomad!?”

The kid looked scared for a moment. Perhaps he could sense how closely they danced to the dangerous territory of current events.

“Yeah,” he said slowly. “We, um. We heard before coming to Ba Sing Se that the Avatar is back. And – and he’s an Air Nomad. So there’s relevance in understanding the Air Nomad culture! Because, like…” he visibly flailed for an example that would be acceptable, “like family!” He held up his finger triumphantly. “Culture affects what words mean. In the Earth Kingdom, family is defined as your clan, tied to you through blood, marriage, or contract. In the Water Tribes, the whole tribe is family and everything is done in service to that family. But to the Air Nomads? They defined family as people chosen based on who you wanted in your life. They did not recognize blood ties.”

Min and Professor Lang both stared at the kid.

“How – how do you know that?” Professor Lang asked eventually.

The kid froze. “I, um. I did a lot of research on – on the Avatar and, and their cultures. I’m not making it up! One of their core tenets was that the blood of the covenant was thicker than water of the womb, meaning those who share their vows are more kin than those who share their blood. They were more concerned with spirituality and behavior.” The kid sighed heavily. “I wish my old library hadn’t burned. I had some amazing finds.”

Min’s eyebrow arched. That almost made it sound like, despite the current state of things, this kid had some noble background. Well, well. That changed things.

She clapped her hands together. “This sounds like an excellent topic for a thesis, don’t you agree, Professor Lang?”

“A – what?”

“A thesis, of course. You have an argument to make – that ancient/declining cultures still have a role in our society. Through your course of study here at Ba Sing Se, you will learn how to draft an effective argument, backed by primary sources.”

“I had primary sources!” the kid said, sounding strangely offended.

“Of course,” Min allowed.

“You want this disrespectful brat to write a thesis on such an absurd topic!?” Professor Lang burst out.

“He argued his point well, did he not?” Min shrugged, smiling pleasantly.

“I have another one,” the kid – Li, according to her file – said. “The Air Nomads were pacifists. They didn’t believe in consuming the flesh of any creature, because in their view, violence was abhorrent in any form. So think about it… the – the Avatar’s job is to bring peace and balance to the world, right?”

Min took a sharp breath. That was coming a little too close to–

“Well, Air Nomads were very devoted to peace. They have eighty-seven words for peace, all of which mean different things. Some of which, if applied to the nations by the Avatar, would face significant dissent. So in dealing with the Avatar, it’s important to know that you need to clarify the meaning of things being discussed.”

“And you expect to be ‘dealing with the Avatar’, do you?” Professor Lang sneered.

Li opened his mouth, closed it, then opened it again. “Of course not,” he said, “but that’s precisely why the study of these cultures is so significant! Because if it’s not widespread knowledge, then we’re all at a disadvantage.”

Min clapped, “well said. What is knowledge but a tool for the betterment of ourselves?”

“...right,” Li nodded hesitantly.

(For those curious, Professor Lang knows about Aang because the Gaang and Joo Dee went by the university when they first came to Ba Sing Se - but the visit was kept moderately hush hush, because talking about the Avatar can mean talking about the war. This changes when the comic takes off.)

From the next scene

Jin was pacing in Pao’s Teashop as they all waited excitedly to hear the results of Li’s visit to the university. Mushi was channeling his anxiety into making lots of tea, so Jin was spending far more than she should on new pots, but at least sipping tea gave her something to do.

Finally, Li opened the door – and jerked back as everyone in the teashop – four of the afternoon regulars and Jin, plus one couple that had no idea what was going on – rounded on him.

“Well? How did it go?”

“Uh.” Li scratched his head. “I think I’m a student now?”

Jin blinked. “I thought you were just going to apply?”

“So did I,” Li shrugged. “And then I got into an argument with a professor during the tour–”

Everyone groaned collectively.

“Oh, Nephew,” Mushi sighed, coming out from behind the counter and ushering Li into the room.

“Of course you did,” Jin laughed.

“But it was fine,” Li huffed. “In fact, I think it actually helped me? I guess I’m writing a thesis on the Avatar and also why studying other cultures matters?”

“You’re… what?” Mushi said blankly.

Li shrugged helplessly. “It just kinda happened.”

Now we skip waaaaaaay ahead to the sequel, to when the Gaang (well, Aang specifically) finds out about The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar

It started with an innocently overheard conversation at a bakery near their Upper Ring house while waiting for the new pies to cool.

“Did you read it?” one girl hissed to another. “Did you see!?”

“Yes!” the second girl sounded so excited that it was hard to control her volume. “I told you! It’s real! Spiritar is canon!”

“I just can’t believe it,” the only boy amongst the group murmured. “I didn’t see it coming at all.”

“That’s because you never listen to us,” the first girl sniffed. “I called the Blue Spirit x Avatar Aang coming from miles away.”

The… what?

Aang blinked, turning to stare at them. “I’m sorry, did you say Avatar?” he asked hesitantly.

“Yeah, who’s asking – oh sweet spirits, it’s the Avatar!” the boy looked like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Um. Hi,” Aang waved awkwardly.

The two girls squeaked and flushed red. “Hi,” they managed, one more easily than the other.

“Did you say something about – about the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“Oh spirits,” the second girl whispered under her breath. “Oma and Shu, why would you do this to us?”

“Um?”

“Okay, so,” the first girl cleared her throat. “Um, let’s start at the beginning. Are you familiar with The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar?”

“The… huh?” Aang’s mouth twisted in confusion. Who was the Blue Spirit and what did they have to do with him?

There was a cleared throat from next to them and another woman in the bakery stood behind them. “Hi, I’m sorry, I couldn’t help but overhear and – I have a binder just for this purpose.” She pulled out a thick binder full of papers and thudded it down on the table. Then she opened it to a page that had two figures cut out from an inked illustration. One was obviously Aang, though his arrows weren’t quite that big – but the other… the other was–

“The Blue Spirit, you called them?” Aang asked, staring at the mask that he remembered with stark distinction. If the stranger in the mask hadn’t saved him…

But then, of course, the stranger turned out to not be so strange after all. Aang could still feel the rough bark under his fingers as he played with it, waiting for Zuko to wake up.

If we knew each other then, do you think we could’ve been friends? he’d asked, and Zuko hadn’t actually answered, but the blast of fire spoke many words.

“You don’t know them?” the girls all looked up at him with a broken sort of hope.

“I – I do,” Aang answered hesitantly. “But I never got their name.”

“Yes!” two of them high fived and Aang just stared at them. “Uh, sorry.”

“Anyway,” the girl with the binder said, “The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, originally simply titled the Blue Spirit, is a serial comic created by Li and Jin. They’re two artists in the Lower Ring, if you can believe that. But Li attends Ba Sing Se University!”

“Uh. Okay?”

She cleared her throat, flushing. “Um, at any rate, the comics are aimed at children and Li has been recorded as saying that he wanted to explain cultural differences through a fun story. And they deliver! The characters are great, the dialogue is snappy, the illustration is beautiful, and the plots are silly but fun.”

“Nothing will ever top the Fire Lord getting pie’d in the face, though,” the first girl said nostalgically.

“What?” Aang asked.

“Oh, I have that in my binder!” The girl flipped through several pages and landed on a comic panel pasted onto the paper. It depicted – exactly what they said. Fire Lord Ozai – who Aang had never actually seen in person, but he had seen a few paintings and it looked pretty accurate – receiving a cream pie to the face. Actually, the pie was drawn pretty well, too – it even had the lemon curd filling that Aang and Master Gyatso used to add for extra gooeyness.

That was surely just a coincidence, though. Right? It wasn’t like the Blue Spirit could really be–

“It’s a really famous picture now,” the girl with the binder whispered to Aang. “It’s the only thing like it that hasn’t been censored by the Dai Li. See, in The Adventures of the Blue Spirit and the Avatar, the Fire Lord has a legitimate reason to hate the Avatar.”

…was stopping him from destroying the world not legitimate?

“Oh?”

“Oh, I love this one. Show him the comic strip!”

“Here it is!”

Aang looked down to see a single panel of Fire Lord Ozai, this time wailing, “my hair!”

“Uh…”

“The Avatar was flying a kite,” one girl explained, “and he was messing with the wind currents – but it made storm clouds fall on the Fire Lord’s parade and ruined his hair!” They all chortled. “Literally you rained on his parade!”

Aang… did not know how to react to that.

“So anyway, the Avatar and his friends join the Blue Spirit and fight crime and evildoers!”

“Yeah, the Blue Spirit is a vigilante, you know that, of course,” one girl said and actually, Aang had not known that. “So they team up with the Avatar and with the whole Gaang–”

“Pardon?”

“Oh yeah, isn’t it great? It’s ‘gang’ but with 2 ‘a’s, like your name! To encompass all of you together!”

Aang hummed. He did like it, actually. Sokka would be upset that he hadn’t come up with it.

Especially if the person who did come up with it was really–

But surely it couldn’t be. How would Zuko have even gotten into Ba Sing Se?

From the confrontation between Aang and Zuko after Aang tracks down the creators of the comics (with some shippiness)

“Soooo,” Jin drawled, sprawling in a booth in the otherwise empty teashop, “guess what happened today?”

Zuko, busy wiping down a table, didn’t answer.

“C’mon, guess! It’ll interest you, I promise.”

“I dunno. You… had an idea for a comic?”

“That happens every day, Li,” she said flatly.

Zuko sighed. “Just tell me.”

“Fine, fine,” Jin paused, making him wait, and then she burst out, “the Avatar came by the shop!”

Zuko froze, blood draining from his face. The Avatar. The Avatar was here. The Avatar was here and knew about the comics, elsewise why would he have gone to Jin’s family’s shop?

Oh, this couldn’t be good.

“Li? You okay?”

Before Zuko could answer – negatively – the door to the teashop opened and the Avatar walked inside.

Zuko wanted to die. This was it. This was the end of him. This was when his cover would get blown and everyone would know and hate him and–

“Hi,” Aang greeted them pleasantly. “I’m looking for Li.”

Zuko just about swallowed his tongue. There was no way that Aang had failed to recognize him. The change in hairstyle did not make up for the huge disfiguring scar.

Raising a shaking hand, Zuko managed a strangled, “I’m Li.”

The Avatar smiled. What even–?

“I thought it might be you,” Aang said. “But I also kind of thought I was probably wrong.”

Not having any idea what to say, all Zuko could do was swallow drily.

“Huh,” Jin said, “you really have met the Avatar.”

Zuko flushed. “I told you!”

“You say lots of things, though,” Jin contested. Usually, Zuko was grateful that she let his slip ups go so easily, but right now, he was just annoyed.

“I don’t lie,” he frowned. That was a rule for him. His whole identity may be a lie, but at least he would do his best to live honorably.

Aang coughed and Zuko flushed brighter, jerking his attention back to the man who, technically, was still his enemy.

“Sorry,” Jin laughed, holding out her hand, “hi, I’m Jin. I hear you went by my family’s shop earlier looking for us?”

“You’re the illustrator?” Aang asked.

“Yep, that’s me!” Jin beamed, showing off her chipped teeth.

“Wow. You do a really good job of showing different places,” Aang complimented and Zuko stared. What was even happening?

“Oh, that’s all thanks to Li,” Jin demurred. “Sometimes I dunno whether his descriptions are accurate or not, but he believes in them so much that it just seems right to go with it.”

Zuko groaned, slapping a hand to his face. “Jin…”

Aang smiled wider and it made Zuko’s heart pound, cheeks turning pinker. “Well, you both create very good comics,” Aang said casually, as though Zuko wasn’t close to expiring on the spot.

“You – you read them?” Zuko croaked.

“Of course,” Aang said. “We had to see what was being written about us!”

Oh. Great. So all of Aang’s friends had read them. Fuck.

Oh Agni, did that include the most recent issue? Maybe he was lucky for once in his life and it didn’t–

Aang pulled out a comic and the cover was quite familiar. Jin had drawn the Blue Spirit in the middle in a ridiculous pose that really emphasized his butt – even moreso than the original draft, because Jin was an asshole and made the change after he complained. Behind the Blue Spirit were various headshots of the Gaang – Zuko came up with the name and he was rather proud of it – with little hearts all around them.

The cover proclaimed, ONE OF THESE PEOPLE IS THE BLUE SPIRIT'S SOULMATE – BUT WHO!? and the story was all about one of the regular villains, Sparkler – who totally wasn’t Azula – trying to find the Blue Spirit’s lover to blackmail him. After she was defeated, the true lover was revealed… with a kiss, because of course it was.

Zuko felt like he might cry at the absurdity of this being how his life falls apart (again).

“Sooooo, um…” Aang started and Zuko could not look at him.

“In my defense,” Zuko started, his mouth absolutely disconnecting from his brain, “it was a reader request.”

Aang tilted his head. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, you don’t read the letters at the end of the issue?” Jin asked, “you really should, they’re quite fun. We answer questions and requests from readers – mostly kids, but sometimes their parents, too.”

“And a kid… asked about–?”

Zuko just nodded mutely, but Jin – the traitor! – explained, “they asked about who the Blue Spirit’s soulmate would be. And obviously – ow!” Zuko elbowed her hard in the side, but it was too late. Aang’s eyebrows were high.

“‘Obviously’?”

“I mean, have you read the flirting?” Jin asked. “Li writes fantastic banter, doesn’t he?”

“Fucking hell, Jin, shut up!” Zuko hissed, and he was sure that his face was hot enough to be steaming. Hopefully Jin wouldn’t question it.

“Oh, all right, all right, I’ll let you two talk alone. But don’t forget the afternoon rush will be soon!”

So saying, Jin sidled out the door, headed back to work. The Avatar opened his mouth as soon as she was gone and Zuko quite abruptly wanted her back. He scrambled around for a change of topic and grasped the teapot next to him.

“Tea! Would – would you like some tea? We have–”

“I liked the tea jokes in the comics,” Aang said calmly. How was he calm when Zuko was about to shake out of his skin?

The pottery clattered slightly from his trembling hands, but he served Aang a cup of jasmine tea. “Those mostly came from Uncle,” he murmured.

“Well, they were fun,” Aang said, taking the cup and immediately sipping it as though it hadn’t been poured by his enemy. Then he smiled. “Jasmine. I like jasmine. It was my mentor’s favorite.”

“I know,” Zuko said without thinking.

“You… know?” Aang blinked. “How?”

“Uh.” Oh Agni, how was he supposed to explain this. “One of the Elders at your temple kept a journal. It survived.”

Aang stared. “Seriously?”

“Yeah,” Zuko nodded. “Monk Tashi. He complained about how often you got into trouble and how Monk Gyatso only encouraged it.”

Aang inhaled sharply, breath hitching at Gyatso’s name. Zuko could only imagine how much the loss hurt him. If Zuko ever lost Uncle…

Okay, that’s all I got, but I’m very excited for this series, so I hope you enjoy!

#atla #zuko x aang #zuko & jin are BFFs #wip wednesday #fic planning #seduction of the innocent

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perfectlypanda · 2 years

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Hey, in this pandaverse, you think you can do another Zutara pic or strip but it features Azulaang? Whether it just shows Zuko and Katara's daughter Kya hanging and having fun with Aang and Azula's own daughter (whom I'm torn which to call her Ursa or Kiyi) or both whole families together in the pic?

Hi! I hope you don’t mind if I answer this publicly - I’ve gotten a few messages like this before and thought that instead of answering everyone privately each time like I have been I could just respond here in case there’s anyone else who had a similar question or is curious. :)

First, I love hearing everyone’s ideas! It’s so fun to see how many different directions people take these same characters. In terms of the “pandaverse”, I’ve only shared tiny snippets here through comics and art, but it’s actually a pretty thoroughly fleshed out headcanon universe. It follows the canon for AtLA and the graphic novels before diverging after the last of them (Imbalance). After that, I have a set timeline and history that leads to Zuko and Katara getting together in this universe, and what happens to their lives from there (including their children - Kya, Kallik, and Kira). I also know what happens to the other major characters. Aang eventually finds love with an original character (Rinchen, I believe is her most current name, but I don’t have my notes handy). I do know what happens next for Azula. Toph, Sokka, and Suki are present as well, of course.

All of this came about because I’m “working” on a Zutara fic about the beginning of their relationship. I say “working” because that implies I’m doing a lot of writing on it when mostly I just brainstorm things in my head during my long commute, and do a lot of reading for “research” on different cultures and traditions. Spread across multiple different Google Docs, I probably have about 50,000 words of story written (and even more of random notes and scene ideas), but it’s not in any order. Anyway, if I ever finish that one, Azula’s story is actually the follow up to it. Which surprises me, because while I think she’s a cool character, she never jumped out as a favorite of mine. I just heard a song one day, and immediately could see what the climax of her story was going to be. But the Zutara one comes first.

Which is a long winded way of saying that, at least in things meant for the “pandaverse”, I’m only going to be including things that fit within the canon of that universe (even if that universe exists primarily in my head at the moment). However, I do love hearing everyone’s ideas and their own headcanons, so please feel free to keep sharing those with me! :)

#zutara #pandaverse #zuko #katara #headcanons #panda speaks

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acearohippo · 2 years

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OMG i didnt know you had a tumblr! Ive read your lixuan fics on ao3 and wow 😳

I wanted to throw this thought your way. Uh nsfw 🔞 warning.

What if Xuan teasingly calls Ling daddy and it does something to him, cut to Ling counting Xuan's orgasms like a workout count 👁👁

Me: I'll make sure to keep my social media handle consistent so people can find me easier

Me, when people find me easier due to my consistent social media handle: *kill bill sirens playing over X Files theme song*

Hehe, yes, tis I! And thank you for sharing this morsel with me! 🥰

Sorry, it's taken me so long to reply, I came down with some sort of bug (love working at a daycare, really) and I've not been in the correct mindset to be all smutty... Till now :D

Had to write out the scene~

Nsfw under the cut

Warnings: Multiple Orgasms, fledgling Daddy Kink, sex talk, minor praise, Li Ling calling Tang Xuan baby, doll, and babydoll, neutral descriptions of Tang Xuan’s anatomy.

It would start out completely innocent at first, Tang Xuan calling Li Ling “daddy” because his skateboard broke and Li Ling pulled a toolkit out of nowhere and went to work fixing out. Why does he have a toolkit for a skateboard? He rollerblades, that’s why, but the randomness of it and Li Ling just automatically getting to work is comical to Tang Xuan. Tang Xuan then completely loses it when Li Ling starts dadsplaining on proper skateboard care and maintenance. It’s so out of character that it aligns exactly within character for Li Ling and Tang Xuan is delighted.

“Thank you, daddy, I’ll make sure to lube my wheels more.” Said with a cheeky grin, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Li Ling just levels him with a look and plays along. It’s a small moment, just a little light-hearted banter, and then Li Ling is back to watching Tang Xuan perform increasingly complicated tricks on his board.

Except, as the hour passes, that line- or rather, that singular word, echoes in his mind, followed by images of increasingly lewd situations where Tang Xuan could use it.

Li Ling lets a smirk settle on his face, the word humming in the back of his mind. He can work with this, and he lets his gaze grow heavy with intent until Tang Xuan notices. Tang Xuan doesn’t say anything, just raises a brow and skates over to him, casual and open-faced.

Li Ling grabs him by his waist and moves him towards the Union dorm building, no words exchanged but heated glances back and forth relay the message well enough, and it is reciprocated.

When they do get to their own room, Li Ling asks him to call him the word again.

“Hmm? And what does daddy need me to do?” The cheekiness is still there, but Tang Xuan is interested now, his voice low with arousal.

Li Ling smiles. “Nothing, baby. Just lay there and look pretty while daddy works.”

It’s so corny, they both break character to laugh it off. Tang Xuan pulls Li Ling into the bed with him and they strip down and bring each other pleasure.

Two orgasms later, and Tang Xuan now understands the beast he unleashed within Li Ling. He jumps on a particularly rough thrust from Li Ling against the sensitive spot inside of him, and it triggers another orgasm.

“What number was that one, babydoll? Gotta help keep count for daddy.” Li Ling purrs, enjoying the quivering mess he’s turned his boyfriend into.

Li Ling has found that sweet spot, where he can just grind against Tang Xuan’s inner walls and give him multiple orgasms in a row.

“Th-three…?” Tang Xuan barely gasps out, after another orgasm overtakes him.

“Hmm, are you sure about that? Daddy’s gonna have to teach you how to count, babydoll.” No sooner does he growl out the pet name Tang Xuan clenches around Like Ling, whining and tossing his head back in ecstasy.

“Well, that was number four. Count with me, doll.” Li Ling adjusts his weight and posture so he can have finer control of his thrusts. He grinds his hips against Tang Xuan’s pelvis and Tang Xuan clenches tightly around him for a fifth orgasm. Li Ling groans out the number, reaching his second orgasm of the night, but remains hard and hungry for more.

“You didn’t say it with me, babydoll. Try again~! Say it with daddy now!” Tang Xuan can only murmur the number and brace himself for the subsequent orgasms Li Ling will wring from him before the sun sets.

“And that was orgasm number 6, you’re doing so well for daddy.”

“Come on baby, lemme here you. We’re on 7.”

“You’re being so good for daddy, giving me 8 orgasms. Daddy’s going to fill you with his fourth load now, baby.”

“Fuck, babydoll, don’t fight it. It’ll feel so much better when you let go… A ha! There you go, doll! Look at you all messy for daddy. You don’t even remember which number we’re on, do ya?”

“Breathe, baby, just give me one more orgasm. Make daddy proud and hit the double digits. Just one more baby and daddy will fill you up one more time. Come on, come on, come on. You’re so close, baby, I can feel you tightening around me. This will be your tenth one, come on babydoll, make daddy proud-! Fuck! Look at you, yeah ride it out, baby, take your fill. You’re so damn good, so fucking amazing, of course, I’ll reward you.”

Of course, when their coupling comes to an end, Tang Xuan finds himself laying limply with a dazed grin on his face, eyes glazed over, sated and trembling. It’s not comical anymore and Tang Xuan knows he’s going to have to encourage more of this at later dates.

#the hippo responds #the hippo writes #dislyte #li ling dislyte #tang xuan dislyte #lixuan #lingxuan #monkeylotus #li ling x tang xuan #ah look at that we got some smut in #i am dying but i've been sitting on this for a while #don't mind the errors please

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adultswim2021 · 1 year

Text

The Drinky Crow Show #1: “Mermaid” | May 13, 2007 - 11:45PM | S00E01

Well, fuck me. It’s The Drinky Crow Show.

The Drinky Crow Show (or The Drinky Crow Show, as some people call it) debuted during the Night of 1000 Pilots. Based on the comic strip Maakies by Tony Millionaire. I like Maakies! I got some of them books! I just reached up and grabbed one and read a few random ones in the middle, it was nice. Unfortunately for anyone who happened to tune in for The Drinky Crow Show, they were treated to a mild approximation of it using sub-par animation. It’s so bad that I couldn't even tell you if the writing’s good or not.

This uses 3-D modeled animation that is meant to resemble a hand-drawn look. It doesn’t. It looks like shit. It will be the main focus of this review: this show looks like shit. It hurts my eyes. I hate it!

Drinky Crow is voiced by Dino Stamatopoulos, and he’s good. Uncle Gabby is voiced by David Herman, and his voice is maybe a tad too cartoony for me. I don’t know, I like my cartoon voices to be somewhat grounded in reality. He sounds too much like Dog from Cat Dog for my liking. There’s other characters, like the captain. Drinky and Uncle Gabby seem to be shipmates with a sea captain and their job seems to be that of deckhands, though sometimes they become the first line of defense when the French alligators attack the ship. The captain has a sexy daughter that is the object of Uncle Gabby’s affection. They seem to have a sorta-secret relationship going.

There’s violent flourishes on this show that exist as sort of a throwback to early cartoons. Maakies takes place in a vaguely “timeless” world, which to most people seems to mean the turn of the 20th Century. But it could also be current-day, taking place in an alternate reality where nothing aesthetically advanced beyond the early 20th century. So the cartoons back then were more cartoony. In this episode several fatal actions take place only to be brushed aside. Drinky Crow blows his brains out in front of us, forlorn because of a newly dissolved romantic relationship. His head is blown to bits, but then in the next show he’s suddenly in-tact.

It’s important to note that back when cartoons were new, they were almost always presented as “moving drawings”. The earliest animated films were often depicted in live-action, with cartoons being shown to exist on an artist’s easel. Cartoons slowly became more immersive, and jokes involving, say, an artist’s pencil coming into the scene and erasing some prison bars for our hero or drawing a weapon to help a character fight back against a villain weren’t so much a boundary-breaking meta gag or non-sequitur as much as they were just a little nod to their roots. Jokes like this weren’t that subversive; they were almost customary.

Silent cinema was also more expressive as a function of the technological limitations. Cartoons were like Newspaper cartoons, but moving, and visual gags would happen that would represent a more grounded emotion. Let’s say a character is depressed, but it’s the era of talkies. That character can go up to another character and tell them “I am depressed”. Mickey Mouse would rather pull a gun out and put it in his mouth and pull the trigger to let you know this.

The terrible 3D modeled computer animation is so at odds with this ethos, that you get a sense that the real reason this cartoon wound up how it did was because there was a budget, but Tony Millionaire wanted to put in a Hot Tub at his house, and he realized that he’d have to grease some palms at city hall to shove the permits through so he can start breaking ground sooner than later. So instead of making the show look good, which is a SIGNATURE THING ABOUT HIS COMIC STRIP IS THAT IT IS DRAWN VERY WELL, he decided to allocate most of the show’s budget towards the tub. It’s the only reasonable explanation I can think of.

This was the second-most-voted pilot. Can you imagine!

Maakies: “The Mermaid Rat” (Saturday Night Live segment, October 3, 2007)

I forgot to say anything about the real plot of The Drinky Crow Show. It involves a mermaid. This does too, sorta. The Drinky Crow Show is in fact the second (that I know of) adaptation of Maakies. The First were a pair of cartoons that were created for Saturday Night Live in the late 90s. Andy Richter is the voice of Drinky Crow in these. I was going to track down the airdates for the others, but EH! Somebody else can do it!!

Apparently they made more than what aired on SNL, and all of the produced cartoons are some compilation called God Hates Cartoons. Did not know that! NEAT! Anyway, these are crappier than I remembered, but I still like them better.

MAIL BAG

I should have answered this immediately after this post

actually i think they got the idea from "it wasn't me" by shaggy and not some old people movie. duh!

Hey! Come on!

Sorry. I should have also thought of an actual response.

superjail, the rare show with TWO good theme songs that arent just a riff on the original. can you think of any others?

I’m gonna go with The Drew Carey Show only because they had like 9 theme songs and I’m guessing at least two of them were good. Probably none of them were good, actually.

Uh, how about MONK lol

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #the drinky crow show

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inks-books · 2 years

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Which fandoms are you a fan of? Which canon characters do you include in your works?

I'm loving all these fandom questions! Thanks!

I'm in a lot of fandoms, but I don't write for many any more. If prompted from any of this, I may share a snippet from something, but some of them are like too embarrassing to share LMAO.

There's the Hobbit/Lord of the Rings fan fictions that will never see the light of day (they were my first fandoms). Except for maybe "Bofur's Hat" if I ever finish it. It's a really sad story about how he lost the love of his life and she made him wear a silly hat once, so now he does so in memory of her. I usually wrote for Thorin, Fili, Kili, and Bofur as well as some OC's, and Legolas, Aragorn, Gimli, Haldir, and Rumil for Lord of the Rings and some OC's.

I've also written for Voltron but mostly Klance, but that was the first fandom I was sort of chased out of because the fandom itself was so toxic. Don't get me wrong, I still like Klance, but I'm terrified of that fandom. I do have a few comics strips I made Here and Here that I liked on my main account but other than that eh.

I was also a Naruto-Nerd back in the day and wrote some good stuff for Jiraiya, Naruto, Sasuke, Kiba, Shikamaru, and Gaara that'll never see the light of day. (I'm still debating on the one I called "Grimalkin's Prayer" because that one is so sad I cry every time I reread it. (Grimalkin is my plot critter and that was the first time I killed off a character in fiction and I got addicted to the pain it caused. ANGST FOR EVERYONE!!!)

And don't get me started on the Supernatural fan fiction I wrote where I had an OC that used hula-hoops filled with salt on a harness to keep demons away from her. And the holy water filled water guns. And the exorcisms on tape. She was the most random ass character and Sam and Dean never could get a read on her.

BBC Sherlock fan fiction where they raised Mary and John's kid together after Mary died, and she became a lot like Sherlock and John's love child. She scared Anderson a lot which was a lot of fun.

And of course, Boku No Hero Academia/My Hero Academia which is what is exclusively on my AO3 right now. I'm /OBSESSED/ with EraserMic and it shows. I can't read fan fictions of them because people put in sex a lot and I'm just here for the friendship, angst, fluff, and romance. TBH. It's the ace in me. Sorry guys! I know I have a couple of pieces that have sex in them on my AO3, but those scenes were written by other people >.>; One of which didn't want credit for reasons, but the other is credited as a coauthor. I use a lot of the teachers, and occasionally the students of 1A in my fan fictions for EraserMic however, because they are a good crew and I love them your honor.

I'm sure I'm missing some but these are the major ones I've actually written for in google docs.

#the hobbit #lord of the rings #voltron #naruto #supernatural #BBC Sherlock #bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

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thankskenpenders · 2 years

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So, developments on the Scourge the Speed Demon situation and the ensuing drama. I don't like having to devolve into a drama blog. I just wanna talk about the comics. But this is a mess, and the rumors are flying around regardless. So, here's what's going on:

First, the response to the announcement has been overwhelmingly negative on Twitter. The team is getting swarmed with replies and quote retweets predictably decrying their association with Penders, questioning the decision to spin Scourge off into his own series separate from Archie Sonic, and occasionally straight up just going "fuck you." This shouldn't be surprising given the fandom's consensus that Penders shouldn't own Scourge in the first place, and it's definitely overshadowing the actual comic

Second, the discovery that the lead artist (note: NOT the project lead, as some are claiming) engages with far right content on Twitter has gotten a lot of traction, and Penders has been questioned directly about it. It seems especially odd that Ken would be okay with it given he's a diehard Democrat who (rightfully) trashes conservatives all the time. While in one tweet he claimed that he didn't believe the accusations, I find this response (and the WILD unprompted dig at Ian) much more illuminating:

Third, people have been looking into the previous comic by the Scourge the Speed Demon creative team, Rush!, which upon a cursory glance I'll describe aesthetically as "what if TwoKinds was a superhero comic?" In particular, folks found out about the scene where the two heroes spot a pair of supermodel villains on the street and the smug speedster protagonist forcibly strips them of their clothes in public, both as a form of punishment for their crimes and just because he thinks they're hot, leaving them cowering in fear before his furry babe sidekick throws a bus at them. I won't claim this shitty anime fanservice gag is the most vile thing I've ever read, and I don't wanna go out of my way to trash some random indie comic because that's not what this blog is about. But it does not bode particularly well

The writer has since posted the scene himself and admited that he thought it was tacky in hindsight, but he also added "but this is fiction nobody hurt." Regardless, yeah, hopefully he has actually done some reflection and improved his writing since the release of Rush! in 2018, but you can't blame people for judging his style by his only currently available commercial comic

Finally, in the dead of the night the Twitter account for the Scourge comic tweeted out a clarification saying that their lead artist "does not believe in hateful ideologies" and that the team doesn't condone such beliefs. Said post writes off the fact that their artist publicly follows far right figures such as Donald Trump, Melania Trump, Paul Joseph Watson, Candace Owens, Steven Crowder, and more, plus notorious far right propaganda machines Breitbart and PragerU, AND likes hyper-conservative tweets from these people... as her having an "outdated following feed." At the time of posting this the artist is, in fact, still following all of these accounts. (Before anyone else objects to "digging up dirt": Twitter likes and follows are EXTREMELY public. The site constantly broadcasts what you're liking and who you're following to your followers, whether they're looking for it or not. It's not secret.) The "clarification" comes off as overly defensive to me, labeling the question of whether or not their artist is an alt righter as harassment and "an attempt to debase their comic" and not, you know, a valid concern

(Side note: said clarification post also distances the comic from Penders by saying he's not involved creatively, and also says that they paid way less than the rumored $10,000 for the Scourge license. It's understandable but extremely funny that they felt the need to say this)

I also can't help but question the project lead's ability to be a judge of character. I don't know him, and I don't know his personal views. He might be a nice guy! But here's something else I found out on my own. He's also apparently a contributing writer for an in-development Archie Sonic fan comic called Sonic the Hedgehog: Missing Links, which is headed by one of the most infamously obsessive right wing Penders fanboys and Ian Flynn haters on the internet. As someone who's not generally involved with the fandom even I recognized this guy because he's the source of half of the insane "Ian Flynn and his SJW agenda are ruining the comics" conspiracy theories that make my life as a Sonic comic blogger a living hell. Missing Links was even created specifically to pick up where Penders left off and overwrite Ian and Tracy's run out of spite starting with a new issue #160. Now, the writer of the Scourge comic absolutely doesn't agree with everything this other guy believes (and I know he's a fan of Ian's work). But again, he's on that project

Or, actually, it's possible that he ISN'T on this project anymore, as it's been in development hell since its conception in 2018 with only preview art released. (The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, huh?) But the Twitter account for Missing Links bragged about their connection in response to the Scourge announcement, implying they're still collaborating

So yeah. There's uh. A lot going on here. I was really, really trying to give the team on this a fair shot and separate them in my head from Penders and just wish them the best on this project, but this is so much

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dontloseyourpants · 3 years

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Stripped on Stage

A commission I received from @gaystripstories! You can also find him on Twitter here. And you can support him by buying his stories on Amazon here.

I'll out the actual story below the cut. It's about a cocky young Broadway bound hunk who has an embarrassing incident on stage during his big debut. Hope you all enjoy it as much as I did!

Before the Show:

Hey, just wanted to stop by and wish everyone a great show!

A sea of blank faces stared up at him, but he kept plodding on to get the reaction that he desired. Walking further into the crowded dressing room, he finally stopped right behind me.

I miss the camaraderie of being packed down here with everyone… it’s so lonely having that dressing room upstairs all to myself. I usually just spend time before shows lying on my couch until first call.

Looking up, I saw his face forcing itself into what he thought was a genuine smile. For someone who was apparently a much better actor than our poor little show deserved, he really had such a hard time hiding his true emotions.

Roger Stilton had quickly made a name for himself on Broadway. A Julliard grad just like his rich father, he headed straight to Broadway and began booking any role he wanted. With leading man good looks, his slicked back dark hair, and a jawline that could cut steel, Roger actually could have earned his roles without daddy’s donations.

As I continued looking up at him, I realized two things. First, his blush was much too heavy for a theater as small as this one.

Roger, sit down- let me help you out a bit. Quickly standing up in my boxers and undershirt, I let him plop into my chair before wiping a makeup wipe across that beautiful face. Here’s a tip when you’re not sure how strong to make your blush- you have to see what it should be naturally and then add two swipes.

Quickly taking hold of the bottom of his t-shirt, I ripped it over his head to expose that chest to the whole room. His perky pecs and six pack abs were to die over, but for some reason, even with all of that narcissism, he didn’t like showing off his body.

See- that’s the color you want.

I saw his eyes connect with his reflection to see the blush covering his cheeks, and I added a bit of my powder onto his face to match. Grabbing his shirt, he just awkwardly held it in front of him before walking back out of the room with his parting words flung over his shoulder.

Well, let me let you get back to getting ready… I just love having a great ensemble behind me on stage.

I wanted to hate him, but I couldn’t. At least not for another week. He’d joined our show after workshops, and even if I wouldn’t admit it, he was the reason we’d gotten our residency at our off-Broadway theater. He was already booked for his next role in a few weeks in one of the larger theaters, but if I had anything to do with it, I wanted to put his name in the news for another reason. It was time to confirm the second thing that I realized once Roger walked in here.

Listen up. Every head turned back towards me this time, but unlike Roger, I could tell that they wanted to hear what I had to say. I had a couple of decades on all of the younger actors

around me, and they looked up to me since I’d give them actual advice. We’re a go for tonight. Raise a hand if you’re in.

Smiling to myself as I saw every hand quickly raise into the air, I knew that this would be one show that Roger or the critics in the audience would never forget. I don’t know if Roger knew that we’d picked up on it, but there was a lot of info that he gave away. He was using us as a launch pad for some serious acting cred, and we were using him just as much. And for weeks of workshops and performances, we existed together, but the last month had been different. He’d starters treating us as disposable ensemble members even if the small cast all had named roles. So, tonight, on the most important night of his run, we decided to get back at him. Looking up at the timer on the ceiling above us, I realized that it was almost time for our first phase of the plan.

Act 1:

Look at him- if he wasn’t such a huge ass, he could really be the next big thing. Sorry- all I heard you say was huge ass, and I got distracted.

Playfully slapping Sam on the arm, I kept watching Roger act as we waited for our cue. Our show was a new take on the classic murder mystery, and each night, Roger dramatically died on stage. The twist, the reason that we’d made it out of workshops, was that a new killer was chosen each show. The audience could return night after night and still get a new experience since we improved a lot and only kept core scenes consistent.

This was one scene that was always the same, so Roger felt confident enough to ham it up as he looked at the two women in Row 2: The New Yorker and New York Times. They of course had names, but Roger only knew them as the critics that he needed to impress. And he truly was acting his ass off… and that was quite a challenge. Those dark gray slacks were barely

stretched over that ample peach of a bottom, and I was reminded again that I was happy with the game plan. And as he placed his glass of water back on the table, it was time for round 1.

Natasha and Joslyn entered from stage left as Sam and I appeared from stage right, and in a flurry of motion, we began bombarding him with questions.

Sir, would you like the dinner menu?

Please.

Sir, would you like a wine list?

That’d be delightful.

Sir, would you like your water glass to be topped off?

Certainly.

Bending down, I poured the contents of my pitcher into his glass and across his chest. Oh monsieur, I am so sorry- let’s get you out of those wet clothes immediately.

Patting him down with the hand towel, Sam walked behind him and began unbuttoning Roger’s shirt. In utter shock, Roger just sat there staring at the pitcher that I’d laid down in front of him- the one that looked completely normal. In every other show, a special prop had been used that only held half a cup of water, but tonight, it looked like I’d grabbed the wrong pitcher from the props table accidentally.

There we go- we’ll have this dried and steamed before you even get the dessert menu… not that it looks like you eat dessert often.

He tried to cover his exposed chest as we left stage, but the tiny menu couldn’t cover much. If he pulled it down, he exposed his perky pecs with his dark brown nipples shining under the harsh lights, and if he pulled it up, you could see the happy trail disappearing into his pants. As we all stood offstage in one giggling group, we watched the switch flip over in his head. He

had just made the choice- he could either be embarrassed about being half naked on stage, or he could continue acting so that the critics would write about how he powered through adverse conditions. And he chose the second option… at least for now.

Act 2:

After improving some line about remembering that he had a spare suit in his car, he quickly walked off stage with his muscular back facing the audience. Once he disappeared into the curtain, he began quietly yelling for the prop master, but he was nowhere to be found. Also gone was the random rack of clothes that had been hiding in the wings for decades, so as he rushed around, Roger only had time to grab someone’s suit coat and walk back on stage.

Darling! Is it my birthday already? I thought I wouldn’t get my present until tomorrow.

With her quick change successfully completed unlike her costar, Natasha was in a skin tight dress and now playing Roger’s girlfriend. Walking circles around him, she began to massage his tense body, and it seemed to be having an undesired effect on his lower half.

Can I unwrap my present early?

I’m so sorry love, but the weirdest thing happened at dinner earlier. I had time to grab a spot of food before coming here, and then…

As he began to sit down, the small blazer completely ripped down the middle, and the ruined fabric fell in two pieces down each arm. Natasha was really hamming it up now as she jumped up from the prop bed to kneel in front of her blushing boyfriend.

I was joking before, but what else is about to come off? Did you somehow trade outfits with a stripper?

That time in the gym must have really filled out my shoulders.

Then flex for me, Romeo. Let me see that body that’s all mine.

Doing as told, Roger stood up and began to flex his muscles as he faced the audience. His tanned chest seemed to glow under the lights, and I heard the audience getting into it more now. If there were any repeat customers here, then they knew what normally happened here. Natasha would have her birthday party, and in the commotion, Roger would meet his demise. But that always happened fully clothed.

Roger’s biceps were glistening in sweat, and his trimmed chest hair was as well. He was breathtakingly gorgeous, and if only he wasn’t so cocky, we would have all adored him. As I saw that blush spread further across those beautiful cheekbones, I wondered if there was something more human under there. Just maybe…

Oh, I just can’t resist anymore- come ravish me!

With strength that I didn’t know she had, Natasha pulled Roger towards her as they fell into the throes of passion on top of that bed. The audience was losing it as Natasha’s legs comically kicked into the air before wrapping around Roger’s ample ass. She was kissing him all over as Roger tried to break free for his cue.

Oh honey, that special suit jacket wasn’t the only birthday surprise that I had planned. In fact…

And this is where everything went so, so right. Roger lunged into a standing position without even feeling Natasha’s fingers hook into the two small holes that had come undone on each side of his tearaway pants. I don’t know how he hadn’t noticed earlier that we’d swapped them out before the show, but they’d stayed together right until they were needed.

In comical slow motion, the back half of his pants fell to the floor as the front stayed gripped in her hands.

You got me exactly what I wanted!

As Natasha jumped to meet him, we all started streaming on stage, holding balloons and shooting party streamers into the air. The only one that was still was Roger who was somehow so very, very visible in the middle of all of this chaos. With his pants gone, he was now standing there in only his shoes, his nylon socks held up with leather garters on those strong calves, and an impossibly tiny pair of baby blue bikini briefs that were trying their hardest to stretch over his large frame.

We all took a cue from the audience and focused on Roger as he stood petrified on stage. His hands hung limply at his side, too embarrassed to even move them to cover up his impressive bulge and thick pubes that were showing over the stretched waistband. You could have heard a pin drop in the eerie quiet before one camera flash went off from the audience followed by several more. I saw our one underpaid usher try to stop the cameras, but it was too late.

Finally urged into action as he saw how many photos of him would soon end up online, Roger finally spun around to try to find his pants, his jacket- just anything to cover himself up with. Seeing the bed sheet that had been flung into the floor, he reached to grab it, but I was too quick and stepped onto it to keep him from getting it.

Standing back up, he had rage in his eyes as he looked at me, and he had no idea that even more photos were taken now of him. From the back, his tiny briefs had been wedged between those glorious cheeks, and he was exposing almost every inch of skin that he could.

It was you- you’re the one that did it!

He was about five minutes early with that line, but Roger’s embarrassment had finally taken over his need to impress the critics. That was usually what he said when he discovered who the killer was right before falling to the ground, but now, he was saying it to me even though Joslyn was the one who’d dropped the ‘poison’ into his pasta in the previous scene.

What are you talking about? It’s me- your best friend!

A best friend wouldn’t do this on the most important night of their life!

Reaching forward, he grabbed onto my shirt and yanked it apart. Buttons went flying as my own chest was exposed to the crowd. My mouth was trying to hard not to break into a smirk behind my trimmed salt and pepper beard as I backed away from Roger. Following me back under the lights, he just kept going.

You’ve always been jealous of me- my career, my body, everything! Do you know how hard I’ve fought for this? Do you?

He truly believed the words that he was saying even though he’d never had to go to an open casting call in a crowded building downtown. He’d never had to squeeze into a borrowed pair of LaDucas and dance for hours just to be told that they’d gone in a different direction. Oh no, Roger had never felt rejection like that which is what would make what happened next even sweeter.

He lunged at me, and we fell in a heap on the floor. The audience, even the return viewers, probably had no idea that anything had gone wrong. Everything we’d done had been in character, and only one thing would be able to prove to them that this show had gone off the rails.

Roger’s body was gyrating around on top of me, but he never landed a punch. He wasn’t angry enough for that, but he was too flustered to even know what to do. He couldn’t handle this humiliation, and he was just lashing out. And then, it all stopped. As we tussled, we both heard the pop and froze. It could have been anything, but we both knew exactly what it was.

The Final Bow:

And the award goes to Roger Stilton!

The cameras all swung towards him as he tried to duck down into his seat. This is not how he wanted awards season to go. He had just lost the Best Actor award for his starring role in Thoroughly Modern Millie, and he was about to go to the bar until he heard his name called again. Looking up at the big screen, he saw the category that he didn’t even know that he was nominated for- Best Quick Change.

With the DramaDesk award in hand, the late-night talk show host who had no business being here walked on stage. I was sitting on the side in the cheap seats, but I could still see everything. The last time that I’d seen Roger was when I’d been lying shirtless beneath him. I watched as he sat motionless in his chair, and he only got up once the screen started playing a video from that night.

He was kneeling on top of me, and as we wrestled, the tiny strap on the right side of his bikini briefs popped right off. With his ass aimed right towards the camera, his pendulous cock fell into view between his legs, and he tried to cover himself unsuccessfully with his hands. As he moved, the rest of his underwear fell apart and landed on my chest leaving him completely

naked.

Standing up, he kept spinning around, turning one way and then the other to hide his embarrassment. His hands were clasped over his manhood which left that ass completely exposed. His tight waist made his bubble butt even more impressive, and the untanned skin acted as a beacon for everyone’s eyes and cameras. I’d watched this scene dozens of times from the comfort of my own apartment, but as Roger walked on stage to confront the host, I realized that he probably had tried to forget this ever happened.

When Audra Macdonald won earlier, she serenaded us with a few bars. Roger, what do you plan on showing off to this crowd?

The crowd was going wild, but unlike that fateful night, the crowd was over five times bigger and full of people that Roger wanted to impress. He tried to put on a fake laugh and grab the award, but even from this far away, I could see how strong that blush was as the host kept going.

No seriously, I think we need you to show it off! What does everyone here think?

I let my cheer join the crowd as we egged him on, but he still wasn’t budging. And then, the host looked right at me, and I pinched myself to see if this was all a dream.

Do we need your old costar to come help out? He knows his way around this stage since he’s performed here a few times. Come on up!

The spotlight hit me, and now it was my time to feel a little shy. I’d been a background dancer here in a few awards show opening numbers, but I’d never been up there individually. Would my big break come decades later than it should have?

Stepping on stage, I saw Roger’s heart drop, and my nerves suddenly vanished. He let the host turn him around, and I realized that he was petrified again.

Make me change my mind, Roger. Why shouldn’t I expose you again for how you treated us on that show?

Tommy, please, don’t do it.

I could have been nice and joked around with him as we walked offstage to pretend like this was a planned bit. But, he messed up.

Roger, you didn’t even learn the names of your costars. My name is David- Tommy worked the sound board.

And before he could react, I grabbed onto those tuxedo pants and yanked them to the ground. The button ripped off easily, and they gave me no resistance before sliding down to his ankles. He’d learned his lesson from earlier and was wearing a pair of black trunks, but I still had a little bit of humiliation left to give him. I could and should have stopped there, but I didn’t. Grabbing onto his waistband, I pulled his undies to the floor and stepped back to let him have the spotlight all to himself like he desperately wanted.

His half-naked body was projected onto the big screen again but in real time now. His ample, untanned ass still jutted out from his athletic body, and as he tried to bend down and grab his pants, it jiggled with every movement.

Looking down into the audience, I somehow made eye contact with Jan, the critic that Roger always referred to as The New Yorker sitting not too far from where I’d been seated. As she began typing onto her phone, I realized that Roger would get that big headline after all.

#story

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thewebcomicsreview · 2 years

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A Magical Girl’s Guide to Adulting

"At 14, Molly saved the world. But what is a magical girl to do after she literally peaked in Middle School? Follow the harrowing adventures of 27 year old Molly as she fumbles through relationships, jobs, and depression while facing her most daunting challenge yet: being an adult."

Hi I write a webcomic, and its sometimes difficult to find reviewers online to get more guided feedback on my comic. I do realize that it says submit the comic as an image but its fairly difficult because of the format of the comic to do something like that without it taking up an entire page. If this is not the appropriate way to submit a comic for review I will gladly work to do it again and I am very sorry for my confusion, I'm just trying to still submit it in for review so that I can hopefully grow and improve on the comic in the future

I have to admit that I’m not the biggest fan of the webtoons scroll style (or the way clicking the link to your comic redirects me to the webtoons home page I hate webtoons so much), but sure. I can review a comic. Allegedly. I haven’t actually done a webcomic review for The Webcomics Review in forever. Let’s see if I still have it in me with a live-read.

I like that the very first panel of the comic is someone declaring that the story’s over. I’m less thrilled with how this is a character saying that something cool happened offscreen and we don’t get to see what it was. Perhaps there’s a mystery/twist so you don’t want to too much, but this is very obviously meant to be the “everything used to be great” flashback scene and even Molly’s just like :| in here first appearance.

WHY IS THIS SO HUGE. Do we even need a “This is later” text at all? Couldn’t it have been a narration box, if we must have it?

So, I like that the shitty future is in black and white. Good way to get some artistic mileage out of not having to color every page. Very smart and well done. I don’t like the gag of there being a big “Ten Minutes Later” text and then the same panel again, though. It’s over-explaining the joke (and also two “X time later” panels almost back-to-back!). You could just have the same panel twice with some space between them (lean in to that webtoons long strip format!), and then have a long scroll and then a third time, or you could get cheeky and make the “ten minutes later” a narration box on top of an establishing shot, to make us think you’re cutting away to a new thing and then surprise she hasn’t moved. Or you could actually cut away to something else happening and then cut back and lol she hasn’t moved. Something like that. This is a visual joke so it’s weird that it’s communicated through text in such a matter of fact way. “She’s there. Ten minutes later. Still there”. Or if it’s not meant to be a joke, just have someone walking in the background in each panel to indicate the passage of time.

The next page is a gag-a-day type strip where Molly is confessing her love and the joke is that it’s to some random dog. The dog being in color when it’s the only thing bringing Molly joy here is a nice build on page one, but I’m super confused now. Is this a story-based dramedy about a washed-up former magical girl or is it a gag a day joke strip with an oddly elaborate backstory? I read a few more pages, and they’re all Millennial gags and that’s all well and good-

and then on page 9 we have a backstory flashback and I’m super confused again.

Then there’s a three page storyline about “Molly is scared of a mouse”.

And then this happens. On page 14, two magical girls meet up and you feel compelled to show us a flashback of five pages ago because it’s the only way to know who these characters are. And you’re probably right to have had the flashback here but the fact that you needed it because no one would recognize these characters anyway points to the One Big Issue with your comic: The pacing is all sorts of fucked. There are other things you could improve on because there are always things someone can improve on, but I would focus my efforts on the pacing because it’s the single biggest issue you have. You’re cutting between magical girl flashbacks, silly gag a day twitter strips, and relationship drama so fast and loose that your comic is less than the sum of its parts. You have to slow things down a little, I think. Spend some time setting up the “retired magical girl” conceit. Then introduce Molly. Then spend a little time getting to know Molly. Once Molly is established a little, have her start interacting with a friend. Maybe two friends, if you’re feeling spicy. Let me get to know them a bit before introducing the rest of the cast. If you introduce all these concepts bang bang bang bang bang then it kind of turns into a mush and you’re all like

In an ideal world, I’d say to have a longer magical girl opening, then an extended bit on Molly’s Modern Life, etc., but that would require restarting the comic which isn’t super feasible, so my advice would be simply: Slow it down, take some time, try to establish things visually when you can, and don’t stress about getting your next cool idea out. Bird in the hand and all that.

#A Magical Girl's Guide to Adulting

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ordinaryschmuck · 3 years

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Why Samurai Jack is a Fan-Frickin’-Tastic Character

Salutations, random people on the internet who certainly won’t read this! I am an Ordinary Schmuck. I write stories and reviews and draw comics and cartoons.

And today, I’d like to introduce you to somebody:

This is Samurai Jack, from the popular Cartoon Network series Samurai Jack. Jack is a rare case. Where most shows would have a cast of main, secondary, and recurring characters of varying sizes, Samurai Jack is a series that mostly follows its titular character on his own. Sure, occasionally, you'll see the Scottsman or Aku making an appearance once in a while. But for ninety-five percent of the series, it's entirely focused on Jack and whatever oddball bounty hunter he's forced to deal with for the next twenty-two minutes. This type of decision can be risky because without quality writing, strictly following the same character week after week could get boring real quick. Thankfully, Samurai Jack is a series that's packed to the brim with incredible writing and direction, making Jack himself a fan-frickin'-tastic character.

How is that possible? Well, let me count the ways.

1. He’s the right type of overpowered

Jack knows almost every fighting style in the world and uses that knowledge to survive every bounty hunter, demon, and/or robot he faces every episode. On paper, this type of character could seem unbelievable given that he's just a mortal man, and even monotonous to know he always wins. But that's the thing: Even though Jack manages to almost always win every fight he's in, it's quickly explained why in the very first episode. Through a montage, we see Jack learning every fighting style from several teachers, each of them helping him prepare for the ultimate battle against Aku, an unspeakable evil. Through the simple act of showing us a few scenes of Jack learning a new skill, it's easy to understand why he's a difficult opponent to beat and easy to believe when he introduces another fighting style we haven't seen him use yet. Plus, while Jack's fighting is formidable, that doesn't make him--

WRONG SHOW! But it's true.

Despite winning every episode, it is never an easy feat. Nearly every battle results in Jack getting beat up and torn apart (Or, his clothes do, anyway). When this happens, it makes the victory feel earned rather than easily given. Take his fight against the beetles in episode three, for example. All of his traps go off without a hitch, and he makes it out while standing upon a pile of his vanquished foes. However, during the fight, his armor got stripped away entirely, and he's now scratched up and covered in robot oil:

That image alone proves that even though he’s winning, it doesn’t come easy for him. That remains a staple throughout most of the series, throwing in a few instances when he temporarily loses only to make his eventual victory all the sweeter. He may be overpowered, but at least it's still entertaining to watch regardless.

2. He adapts quickly

A bit of background information to those who haven't the show (probably should have done this in the beginning, but live and learn, I guess): Jack is an ancient samurai that gets magically teleported to a future where his mortal nemesis rules the world. Now, Jack is forced into an environment vastly different from his own, and in turn, he's forced to deal with a lot of stuff he doesn't know. Most writers would take advantage of this type of predicament to make a ton of fish-out-of-water jokes as a way to poke fun at the idea of a samurai being in a futuristic "utopia" (Or, at least, in Aku's eyes, it's a utopia). Thankfully, the writers avoid that cliche. In fact, if my memory serves me right, there's only one fish-out-of-water joke in the entire series. Which I'm more than grateful for because having a character getting thrown off and confused by the world around him would have gotten old fast. But it's not just being in a future world that Jack quickly gets used to. It's also being in situations he's unfamiliar with. Whether it's learning to fit in with dance-crazed zombies or being turned into a chicken (yes, that happens), it doesn't take too long for Jack to figure out a way to get through his current crisis. It proves that even though Jack is a strong warrior in battle, he's also a strategic one who can't be so easily outsmarted.

3. He plays off of everyone he encounters

Jack, in almost every sense of the word, is a straight man. Most of his humor comes from interacting with the bombastic temperaments of others due to his own behavior being so stoic and calm. The series accomplishes this feat by having the future world filled with colorful personalities, making almost every character the best comedic partner for Jack. Primarily through Aku and the Scottsman, who, as I mentioned before, are the only characters that make regular appearances. These are characters with personalities that clash with Jack's, what with Aku being bombastic and chaotic and the Scottsman being loud and crash. Every time Jack interacts with either of them, comedy almost always follows. A good thing too because while Jack can have his own humorous moments, it's better to pair a straight man with someone insane if you want the laughs to come frequently.

4. He’s still a ton of fun himself!

That being said, Jack is still a riot when he gets to be. By and large, I'd say he has a dry sense of humor, often shining through when he interacts with someone carrying the chaos for the both of them. But, occasionally, there are moments when Jack lets his goofy side out, and it's always funny. They're rare, but that in itself is why they work. Because since Jack always acts so serious in this series, seeing him suddenly break that character results in a laugh because it's something we wouldn't expect from him. If he always acted like this, it wouldn't hit as hard as it would only just be his usual sense of humor. So seeing him smile like an idiot as he's waiting "for the magic to begin" causes me to bust a gut laughing each time.

5. He lives despite tragedy

But not everything is all fun and games for our protagonist.

Jack has one goal in this series: Get back to the past and stop the future of Aku from happening. Several episodes make it clear how strenuous a task this could be, showing Jack briefly losing hope that he'll even complete it. Hell, a good chunk of the final season is him practically given up. He still fights to stop Aku's minions from wreaking havoc, but you can see that the light has left his eyes, and he is more than willing for it to end. But, despite how hard things get and how tragic his life can be, there is always a spark of hope that reminds him what he's fighting for and gives him a second wind to finish it. Even when he's at his lowest point, when everything is seemingly hopeless, Jack will always get back up to defeat Aku, no matter what timeline they're in. It is truly noble and shows just how much of a hero Jack is. In fact--

6. He’s the definition of what a hero should be

At least, to me, he is.

What do I mean? Well, I always believe that a hero is a person who would do everything they can to do the right thing, refusing to let innocent people suffer no matter what the cost. Jack proves it in every episode, frequently the ones where he's inevitably screwed over by his own selflessness. He could easily finish his quest and finally get back to the past, but because it could mean that someone innocent would be badly affected by it, Jack always doubles back to save them. The best example is in the second episode of season two. Jack gets ahold of a fairy that he heard can grant him any wish that he wants, but it's trapped in this ball of energy and will never get out. Jack can just wish to go back to the past and stop Aku once and for all. He only needs to make one simple wish. And what does he wish for? The fairy's freedom.

Because that's who Jack is. He's not the guy who would bargain for the life of another, even if his quest is more important. You can argue all you want that if saving something as inconsequential as the fairy's life is pointless due to tragedies like it being preventable if Jack successfully goes back in time. But that doesn't matter to him. A life is a life, and Jack is not the person to trade it. He's a hero and a damn good one at that.

There are many reasons why Samurai Jack is a fantastic character, but the one above, and the others I've just listed, prove how he is a fan-frickin'-tastic character.

(Sidenote: Does it bother anyone else that, despite five full seasons, we've never known what his real name is? No? Just me? Ok.)

#what i thought about #fan-frickin-tastic characters #samurai jack

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