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marisandini-chu-blog · 3 years

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Bruce Wayne is a Simp for Bad Bitch

OmG I can’t believe I’m writing the obvious but the idea is in my head and I need a place to word vomit.

Okay, so it occurred to me that Bruce has a more serious and intense relationship canonically with three women, as far as I know; Andrea Beaumont, Talia Al’ghul, and Selina Kyle. All of whom are the epitome of Bad Bitch with the capital B. (Yes, I’m ignoring Rachel Dawes from Nolanverse. The only thing I like about it is the Iconic Joker. No batman movie is good enough without the Batfam.)

Why do I raise this point, you might ask? Well, that’s because I want to rant that Bruce, my boy, my man, my childhood comfort character is actually a SIMP?!?!

Like... I’m just... urgh.... okay... I am very vocal for a healthy relationship with commitment and based on mutual love and respect. So the fact that Bruce has only bad, iffy, or casual relationships really want to tear my hair out. And why my heart don’t want to ship with any of them, even though BatCat is one of my favorite pairing!

I am a WonderBat shipper because I love watching them in JLAU as a kid and even though I’m not slash shipper unless it’s canon, SuperBat made much more sense to me. Heck even a threesome with the Trinity would have been healthier relationship rather than whatever Bruce had with the three of them and here’s why:

You might not have heard of Andrea, but she’s canon from the Timmverse movie called Batman and the Mask of Phantasm which is A REALLY GREAT MOVIE. Totally recommend. One of the best Batman movie at all times (Yes, I say Batman movies not Batman Animated movies). Has great plot twist and good pacing. so Spoiler Alert! Andrea was Bruce’s fiancé, making her possibly Bruce’s first love, before his journey and possibly could have stop him from becoming Batman (I would say he’s a simp in this case, but he would have had a much more happier, healthy household so it’s not bad thing) if she hadn’t disappear for being a Mob Boss’ Daughter!!!

I repeat, a mob boss’ daughter.

And she came back only to be a mask avenging assassin that went toe-to-toe with Batman.

And she could have choose to stay with Bruce but she didn’t because she choose vengeance over him. Like.... Bats, you should stop with the “I am Vengeance” routine you’ve got going on because she does it better than you ngl.

So she left and I cried at the end of that movie because trauma wasn’t enough, you put heartbreak after heartbreak to my boy. Thanks DC.

Then there’s Fucking Talia Al’ghul which is a no brainer why she’s not Bad but BAD. Like, Talia groom Jason, supervise Damian’s harsh, brutal, and abusive training, control Damian through the implant spine to kill Dick, orders Damian execution before regretting it, DRUG BRUCE when CONCEIVING DAMIAN!!! And that’s only the top of my head.

And if you want to blame it on Morrison’s writing, THAT’S FINE. We’ve bitched about Tom King’s writing enough to know it’s valid.

But, BUT, bUt... it needs to be address that even before Morrison, Talia CHOOSE to stay in the League of Assassin. People can tell me that she’s a complex character that’s loyal to her father but love Bruce and that her upbringing makes her complicated or whatever. Nuh-uh. You don’t get to make Talia helpless when it suited you. Talia is a fucking Bad Bitch (TM). She’s been taught to do whatever the fuck she wants according to her belief and ideal. At some point, Talia knew she wanted to be in position of power in the League rather than staying with Bruce.

But it’s canon that Talia, if I remember correctly, doesn’t like Gotham or Bruce’s mission. She thinks being a hero is beneath them or whatever. And doesn’t understand why Gotham is special to Bruce. So yeah, you might not agree how Morrisons write her. But do not fucking tell me she’s not a character who will not be willing to do what she thinks it’s necessary to get what she wants, including training her son as an assassin. I mean, she likes being the Demon’s Daughter in the league. She may not agree with her father but Talia wants to give Damien what she wants. Power.

Talia loves Bruce. That’s a fact. He’s probably the only person that makes her feel like she’s a person instead of the Demon’s Daughter. Bruce has a knack for that. To make people want to be better, even just a little. Talia could have chosen him, if she wanted to. The fact that she helps him so much when fighting against her father numerous times is proof enough.

I'm highly suspecting the reason she stays is because she knows Bruce would always forgive her (SIMP ALERT) unlike her father who would straight up stab her if she ever betrays him.

I’m not saying there’s no love for her son, I’m just saying if she even looks at the batfam funny than I will raise my flamethrower on that bitch’s face. Because you can’t rely on Bruce on that. That man would give bullshit excuse for her or want to handle her himself because your “history” with her makes you entitled.

Aaaah, don’t you just love it when there’s a great villain you can hate on so much?

I'm not saying she can't be a good person. Pre-morisson made Talia more of an anti-hero. But I do like Talia "I'mma cut a bitch" al'ghul. It's just... I like ruthless Bad Bitch like her. Though preferably she could have balance it with more of her maternal side through Damian.

Okay, I’m getting off tangent. Now comes to my favorite girl. Catwoman. Selina Kyle. The famous ship of all Bruce’s relationship sans SuperBat.

I... am conflicted the most about this.

See, Selina is one of the few people who understands Bruce. Who was there when he needed a shoulder to rely on. Someone who doesn’t take Bruce’s shit, and one of the constant person in Bruce’s life.

But not... constant enough. Which is a theme of her, even in her fursona... I, I mean PERSONA, PERSONA!!!

Anyway, I love seeing these two broken people. One handles it with violence and vigilantism, the other through thieving with a Robinhood-esque thing going on. So of course they get each other. It always helps that they try to make each other better. Selina taught Bruce to be okay of being selfish of wanting to be happy, and Bruce believed there’s good in her that makes her feel she’s not a hopeless case, y’know? It’s even canon that in one universe, they’re married and have daughter, Helena Wayne. So... yeah? Happy end! (Until they died but that’s non issue here at the moment.)

Then Tom King (Urgh, him again) wrote Bat proposing to Cat, and by the time they’re about to be married. Selina left him at the altar.

So yeah.

But then they get metaphysically? Figuratively? married after the Flashpoint which they turn Thomas Wayne into a villain (At least make him from alternate universe instead of timeline!!!) and kill Alfred (WhYYYYYY?! Bruce suffered enough why do you go kill both his fathers dammit!!! Let the goddamn butler rest in peace). And basically Selina and Bruce promise each other forever. Which is sweet. BatCat Forever, am I right???

Yeah, here’s the problem. (And I’m just nitpicking here, okay). For all Tom King’s character assassination of Bruce, he did Selina right in one thing. Which is the fact she doesn’t like being tied down by anything.

If Talia puts importance in power. Selina puts importance in freedom and her self-independence.

I remember as a kid watching BTAS, that Selina didn’t want a relationship with batman if it meant changing who she is. So when Selina left the altar, I wasn’t surprise at the news. Then she actually agreed to marry him, only this time, she didn’t need a judge or a paper to make the marriage legit, y’know. And I thought, yeah that’s so her.

But the thing is Bruce. Accepts. Her. Every. Single. Time.

Without a single thought. She asked, “Do you still want to get married?” and he asked “When?”

Even though it’s not the first that Cat leaves him hanging.

Tell me he’s not a simp for that.

It’s great that he accepts her for everything she is. But I’m conflicted because Selina stays static. She stays with the cat theme in the fact she doesn’t want to held back by anything. She takes what she wants. She loves who she loves. And no one was gonna change her. But then where’s the character growth?

Is it regressive of me to think Selina should be ‘tied down’ or express commitment when she never has been tied down before even though she loves Bruce?

Is it not-feminist of me to think Selina has to change herself for a man?

I just don’t like the fact Bruce and Selina enables their masked persona. Their relationship is strongly base on their cat-and-mouse chase. They nicknamed each other “Bat” and “Cat” for God’s sake. Even though yes, it’s canon that “Batman” and “Catwoman” is their real selves and their civilian life is their masks. Heck, she didn’t go for the altar because she believed (though manipulated) that making Bruce happy would make Batman insufficient, or losing him entirely (Thank Tom King for that).

That would be true, and stay true if not for one thing. Which is some thing what Bruce has that Selina doesn’t:

The Batfam.

Bruce’s real identity isn’t just the Batman anymore. He has to be a single father with growing children he never plan to adopt but did anyway because they needed each other. He can’t use his batman persona to be a father at his house, but he will when training them to be his partner. His family became the strength to Bruce’s fight for Justice.

Bruce is the Batman, but he’s not everything who he is. Selina is supposed to be part of the batfamily yet sadly, I haven’t read or watch anything that has her interact with them in a positive way or actually bond with them. Heck, when Alfred inform the proposal to the batfam they were shocked and thought it was a bad idea even (And they’ve known her for almost half their life by the way.)

The fact that Tom King implied Bruce was never happy or wasn’t happy enough without marrying Cat when his Batfam should be the source of his pride and joy?! Apparently family means nothing to Batman. Woah DC, what a great message you’re sending here.

I guess that’s why, I was a bit iffy when Selina “marriage” with Bruce isn’t official. Because she commits to the man but she doesn’t say she’ll commit to the family (though I suppose it could be imply or I just forget stuff). The batkids are grown up enough that they don’t really need a maternal figure, but that doesn’t mean they don’t need more emotionally available people in the family. And that I haven’t seen much of her taking effort to bond with the people that’s the most important to Bruce.

It just makes her want to commit to Batman instead of Bruce Wayne, in my eyes I guess.

So yeah, that’s why Wonderbat and Superbat makes more sense to me. Because they’ll make an effort to be THERE for the family and they’ll be just generally be a healthier relationships because, again, emotionally available so they might talk when they have a problem instead of running off the altar when you think a Happy Batman is Bad Batman. But no, DC have to make Bruce is a simp and his life edgy.

Anyway, I might be wrong in some things because, you know. Canon becomes a blur to me after a while.

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megwritesfanfiction · 7 years

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The Lies We Told (Beast Boy/Raven , Chapter 1/??)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is a work of fiction that I am not making a profit off of.

Author’s Note: If you are seeing this then it means I have successfully queued something and I wasn’t distracted by something shiny! Go me!

Past Chapters: Prologue

Chapter One: “Keep Breathing”

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks.” She murmured sourly, bringing her mug to her lips.

“I’m serious.” Jinx continued, taking the seat across from her. “I mean it, you really look-“

“Please stop flattering me.” Rachel spoke dryly, taking a sip of tea. “I don’t think my ego can take your compliments.”

“Sorry.” The pink haired woman apologized, shrugging out of her coat. “Just worried about you.”

“Next time try ‘How are you?’ rather than your colorful greeting.”

“Okay.” Jinx nodded. “So,” she started picking up the cafe menu. She casually looked over the selections, lips tight. “How are you?”

“Cute, Jinx. Real fucking cute.”

“Man, you are in full bitch mode today, aren’t you?”

Rachel narrowed her eyes, sitting her mug on the table.

“Really bitchy.”

“This is why I don’t tell you anything willingly.”

“Fine.” Jinx huffed, placing the menu down. She quickly placed her order, folded her hands, and rested them against the table. “You, now, have my full attention.”

Rachel slumped in the chair, using a hand to push her long violet bangs back. “I’m just having an off day.”

“That would explain the grungy get up.”

The violet haired woman looked down at her dark sherry oversized sweater, black knitted scarf, leggings and boots. “What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”

“Grungy.” The pink sorceress nodded with a wrinkle of her nose.

“Anyway,” She decided to move the conversation away from her attire.

“It’s just one of those days?” Jinx questioned.

“It’s more than that.”

“Explain.”

“I don’t know.” Rachel huffed, rubbing her forehead. “I didn’t even want to get out of bed this morning.”

“I wouldn’t either.” A devilish grin curled on her lips. “You have Garth in your bed.”

“Whatever.” She sighed. “You, of all people, know that we don’t live together, and I can count the number of sleepovers we’ve had.”

“I don’t understand why you guys don’t have one electric bill, one water bill, share conversation at the breakfast table, and fight over who gets last night’s takeout like any other normal domesticated couple.”

Rachel rolled her eyes. “We aren’t any other normal domesticated couple.”

“After seven years?”

“Casual dating.”

“No one,” Jinx cackled, piece of pastry in hand and pointing it at her friend. “No one “casually dates” for seven years.”

“We are.”

“Oh bullshit!” The pink haired sorceress declared. “I’d bet my life that he has a ring.”

“Shut up.”

“He’s in love with you.”

“We aren’t discussing this.”

“You need to get over your commitment issues.”

“We aren’t discussing this.” Rachel frowned. “And I don’t have commitment issues.”

“Your commitment issues, your emotional retardation-” Jinx counted off on her fingers.

“Ouch.” Rachel spoke blandly as she took another sip of tea.

“You’ve got a stellar work life and hot boyfriend, who worships the ground you walk on, but you’re sitting here with your resting bitch face and no reason to be sad?”

“See, this, this moment right here, is why I don’t talk to you.”

“Oh come on, I was just trying to help.”

“I’m sure.” Rachel knew there was no point in continuing this conversation. Even when she tried to explain Jinx never understood. “How’s Wally?”

“He’s good.” Jinx answered. “He’s meeting up with the boys tonight, like they don’t see each other enough at work.”

“Let them have their fun.” Rachel smirked. “Are we all still doing Christmas Eve at Richard and Kori’s?”

“Tradition.” Jinx smiled, raising her iced coffee cup. “Speaking of Kori.” Her eyes moved to the pretty orange skinned woman walking over to them.

“Friends! I am sorry that I am late.” Kori spoke taking a seat next to Rachel. She quickly ordered an orange juice and a bowl of oatmeal with fruit. “Richard still insists that I do not drive.”

‘With good reason.’ Rachel thought, bringing the mug up to her lips to hide her amusement.

The pink haired sorceress didn’t bother to hide her laughter.

“I hope I did not keep you waiting long.” Kori exhaled, shrugging out of her pink coat and plucking her gloves off.

“Rae and I were just catching up.” Jinx shrugged. “What’s new?”

Kori smiled. “I am doing well. My English class is most exciting. We are reading books by the Shakespeare.”

“Let me guess,” Rachel smirked knowingly as another cup of tea was placed in front of her. “Romeo and Juliet?”

“Yes, how did you know?” The orange skinned woman smiled brightly.

“Call it a hunch.” She shrugged. What other William Shakespeare story would have Kori so excited?

“How are you and Rich?” Jinx asked.

“Marriage is most wonderful.” Kori grinned nodding happily as she took a bite of oatmeal. “I highly recommend it.”

“Kori,” Raven shook her head, resting her chin in her hand. “You can’t recommend marriage like its cake.”

“Don’t pay her any attention.” Jinx chimed in, working on her second pastry. “She’s just bitter.”

“Why would Rachel be bitter?” Kori asked confused as the waitress placed a glass of orange juice in front of her. “She and Garth are close to being a married couple.”

The violet haired woman stared her eyes wide with disbelief.

“What?” Kori shrugged. “You hall have been doing the dating and relationship for about seven years, so it only seems natural for you all to take the plunge into matrimony quite soon.”

Jinx’s head snapped to her pale friend with a satisfied smile. “Told you.”

“I’m not talking about this.” Rachel spoke stiffly. “And if marriage is so wonderful, why don’t you and Wally get married?”

“Because we heathens like living in complete and total sin until we’re like thirty.” Jinx grinned. “I refuse to be domesticated in my twenties.”

“Marriage doesn’t equal domestication.”

“I like being able to kick Wally out of the apartment when he pisses me off.” The pink haired woman shrugged. “I’m not ready to-“

“Be an adult and talk things out in a civilized manner?”

“Precisely.” Jinx nodded. “You and Garth, on the other hand-“

“I’m not discussing this.”

“Are totally there. You guys are ready to take the next step.”

“Still not discussing this, Jinx.”

Kori’s head tilted confused at the two women’s exchange.

“Rachel is in a mood.”

“Oh, got it.” Kori responded, understanding instantly. She had lived with the purple haired woman for years. Kori knew when to stop pushing. She gingerly sipped her orange juice. “Oh! It’s Terra.” She announced, waving a hand in the air to signal the blonde to their table. “Terra.” She called.

The blonde approached the table. Smiling wide, she took the seat next to Jin. “Sorry, I’m late.”

“It’s okay.” Jinx assured. “I’m only on my second pastry.”

“Also on my last nerve, but whose counting.” Rachel snapped calmly with a deceptive smile.

“So, Terra,” Kori grinned hoping to break the tension. “What things are new?”

“Garfield proposed!” The blonde squealed, showing the ring on her left hand.

Kori screamed with delight, pulling her hand closer to see the ring.

Rachel froze, setting her mug down. “He did?” She asked forcing a painful smile to her face.

Jinx leaned across the table letting out a whistle. “Boy did he ever.”

“I know.” Terra gushed. “It’s exactly what I wanted.”

“Remind me to take Wally ring shopping before he proposes.” Jinx laughed, Kori and Terra joining her.

“This is most exciting!” Kori exclaimed, clapping her hands together. “Have you set a date?”

“They just got engaged.”

“This coming summer.” Terra beamed. “I’ve always wanted a summer wedding.” She wistfully spoke, leaning against the table.

“That’s like seven months way. Is that even enough time?”

“Well,” Terra grinned, eyeing the women at the table. “I am sure my super squad of bridesmaids will help me.”

“Excuse me.” Rachel spoke, quickly exiting from the table and walking toward the restroom. Her hand moved to cover mouth as she felt her panic rise as her feet picked up speed. She entered the small bathroom, locking herself inside.

Closing her eyes, she learned against the door as she inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. Her face burned with embarrassment as she felt her eyes begin to water.

Pulling her emotions back, she reached into her pocket to retrieve her cell phone. Her fingers quickly dialed a familiar number.

“Rae?” The voice on the other end greeted.

“Hey Garth.” She forced a smile into her voice.

“To what do I owe the pleasure?”

Her eyes squeezed shut as she swallowed a lump. “You busy?”

“For you, I always have time. What’s up?” His voice was warm.

“Nothing. I was gonna stop by.”

“I thought you had lunch with the girls together.”

“I’d rather come spend some time with you.” The words left a bitter taste on her tongue.

“Well, I’ll leave the door unlocked.”

“Thanks.”

“I love you.”

She hated it when he said that. “You too.” She spoke emptily, hanging up the phone. She leaned, hands pressed on the sink taking a few slow deep breaths. “Okay.” She nodded, opening her eyes. “Okay.” She affirmed, straightening her sweater. She wiped her eyes and with another deep breath she exited the bathroom, face neutral. She stepped back at the table. “I gotta go.” She spoke quickly, avoiding their eyes and the shine of Terra’s engagement ring. She slipped on her coat.

“What? No!” Jinx pouted. “We were just starting to talk about wedding plans.”

“Garth called.” A lie.

“I thought we were having girl time sans penis.”

“It’s not like that.” Rachel insisted. “He just wants to talk for a bit.”

“Come on Rach, blow him off.” Terra pleaded. “I was hoping we could go down to the bridal shop after lunch and look at some of the bridesmaid dresses.”

“I wish I could, but I promised him I would come over.”

“Trying to make this a double wedding?” Jinx grinned with her eyebrows raised.

“Really? You are getting engaged as well?” Kori beamed.

“What?” Raven asked confused. “No. Jinx is just being a bitch. Garth just wants to talk to me about some stuff.”

“Like his penis.”

Rachel rolled her eyes, ignoring the pink haired woman. “If we’re done soon I’ll text and meet you guys at the bridal shop.” Another lie.

“Cool!” Terra smiled. “Bye Rach!”

“See you Rachel!”

“Later witch!”

Rachel nodded, laying a few crumpled bills on the table with a shaking hand. “See you guys.” She waved, hastily exiting the café.

Tightening her scarf, she made her way to the metro. After couple stops uptown and a ten walk, she would reach her destination.

Her boots clacked against old tile of the stairs as she descended down to her train. She dug out her cell phone as she approached the platform.

“Ello! I’m not available at the moment, but if you leave me your name and number I’ll call you back when I can. Cheers!”

“So, I am about to do something really stupid, and” Rachel spoke, nodding her head slowly. “I need you to talk some sense into me. Call me back.” She sighed, ending the call as her train approached.

Today she was grateful for the midday calm before the evening rush hour of commuters making their way home. She find a seat alone and sulk without having to feign pleasantries with strangers.

She could be selfish.

She could sit and focus on not feeling jealous.

Anger.

Or the aching feeling in her chest.

Moments like this made her miss her father’s influence. She all most missed the days she was stoic and compartmentalized.

Emotions were painful.

As she approached her stop, she stood and exited the train. Rachel ascended back into the light of the outside world. Eyes cast to the sidewalk, as the winter wind whipped across her face. She felt foolish for giving into her emotions, but the empath couldn’t handle the bride to be’s happiness.

She couldn’t be a supportive friend today.

She’d try again tomorrow .

After walking the four blocks and up three flights of stairs, the door was in sight.

She ran to the heavy wood door, opening it and entering quickly.

“Rachel?”

“Yea.” She called back, resting against the door. She peeled off her coat leaving it in a puddle on the floor.

Garth entered the foyer. “You alright?” He walking toward her.

Panting lightly, she licked her lips. Rachel leaned up roughly pressing her lips against his. Grabbing his shoulders she switched their positions, slamming him against the door.

“What are you doing?” He whispered against her lips.

Her fingers quickly unbuttoned his shirt, pushing it to the floor. “Stop talking.” She demanded, trailing kisses down his jaw. She stepped back for a moment, pulling her sweater off. Leaning in, she captured his lips harshly, fingers reaching for his belt buckle.

“Wait, wait,” He jumped, lacing his fingers in her hair and tenderly pulling her back a bit.

“Do you wanna talk or do you wanna take off your pants?” She asked, moving away from him. She kicked off her boots and slide her leggings down her legs, throwing them behind her. She pulled off her hair and fluffed out her. Lips swollen, she stood in front of him in a deep blue bra and soft black panties.

“Can we slow down?” He asked, stepping toward her. His fingers danced against her skin.

Rachel kissed him, nipping her teeth on his bottom lip. “I need you.”

Garth groaned.

She wrapped her legs around his waist.

“Hold on.” He whispered. He tucked his arms around her waist, carrying her across the apartment and into the bedroom. He gently deposited her on the bed.

Rachel moaned, licking her lips as lust drowned out her envy. She closed her eyes, feeling the weight of his body come down on her.

To Be Continued…

#teen titans fanfiction #raven #beast boy #bbrae

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tortoisesforhire · 5 years

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Fic a Day Fic-a-thon

Mike was fully aware that he had a greater than average amount of secrets. He was keeping his past as a failed drug dealer from the rest of the firm. His history as a LSAT cheater from Rachel specifically and everyone else more broadly. He was keeping quite a few things from Trevor and his Grammy and Jenny. He was keeping absolutely everyone in the dark, including Harvey and Donna, concerning his rather dubious past.

In which Mike is a secret ninja, Harvey has secret feelings and Donna while not technically omniscient comes frighteningly close.

Fraudulent FacesChapter Text

The Chilton Hotel, Five Minutes after Rick Sorkin’s Scheduled Interview with Harvey Specter; Attorney at Law

“Rick Sorkin?” Mike was not Rick Sorkin. “Mr. Sorkin you are five minutes late, is there a reason I should let you in.” Mike is also very out of breath.

“Look, I’m just trying to ditch the cops okay, I don’t really care if you let me in.” Mike is an honest person. Mostly.

The red head, because of course she was a redhead, leaned back and winked at whoever was in the room. Probably some hot shot lawyer looking for an associate. It figured. Because Mike...well, Mike did not have good luck. Mike had terrible luck, and the universe loved to laugh at him.

“Mr. Specter will be right with you.” Mike frowned, shoved an extremely inappropriate joke down into the recesses of his brain and tried to gain control of his breathing.

As it has previously been established, Mike’s life is a cosmic joke that constantly plagues him. So of course as soon as he reaches out to shake the unfairly attractive man’s hand his mysterious suitcase of drugs bursts open to rain pot down on the very expensive and fancy looking carpet. Of course. Because this, this is Mike Ross’s life. Hilarious. (Also, the reasons behind the mysterious pot filled suitcase are not actually important beyond the fact that Trevor is a Dick with a capital D. Also you do not need to know who Trevor is beyond the fact that he is the President of Dick Town, three years running.)

“Whoa,” Mr. Specter has no idea the amount of universe guaranteed bullshit that he’d just stepped in. Mike almost feels sorry for him. Almost.

“I, I can explain that.” Mike said, because in spite of everything he still likes to try his best to swim out of the shit pile. Mr. Specter raised his eyebrows at him. “I’m not Rick Sorkin.”

“I figured.”

“I also have a chronically shitty friend who I can’t say no to.”

“Are you really telling me that you’re holding a suitcase of pot for a friend?” Mike winced, why couldn’t he get a dumb unfairly attractive lawyer to bamboozle into letting him out of this hotel room? Why oh why was this his life?

“Not exactly.” Mr. Specter peered at him. Mike had been peered at only on three very special occasions. Two of those had been by his Grammy who was an expert at peering. Mr. Specter came very close.

“Pick up your pot and take a seat.” Mike blinked. He wasn’t being kicked out, handed over to the cops or politely escorted into a police cruiser. Interesting.

“Okay-” he hurried to shove the weed into his suitcase and pulled out the chair across from Mr. Expensive Suit. Seriously, the thing probably cost more than Mike’s rent for a month. Two months, maybe more. Mike didn’t know much about suits.

“Start from the beginning.” Mr. Specter leaned back in his chair to regard him with a smirk and way too much confidence for a man who’d just been blindsided with a briefcase full of drugs.

“Well, like I said my friend makes really shitty decisions.” Mike started, because Grammy had raised him to be honest whenever possible. “We- well we had a sort of falling out last year and it’s been pretty shaky. But he’s basically family and you do stupid shit for family.” Was he cursing too much? Screw it, he’d had a stressful day he’d curse as much as he bloody well wanted to. Fuck. “I knew he was in some deep trouble but I wasn’t sure... anyway. He called me up this morning to tell me he was being held at gunpoint and he needed me to deliver this suitcase to the Chilton Hotel, Room 809.” Mike ran a hand through his hair, feeling irritated and unsettled. Fucking Trevor. “So I did, because I’m a fucking idiot apparently. I get to the room and there are two undercover cops trying to break in. I managed to get by them but only barely. I asked the bellhop what time it was and booked it, which leads me to here...and now.”

“Being mistaken for Rick Sorkin.” Mr. Specter shook his head, incredulous at the fuckup that was Mike Ross. Not that he knew Mike’s name. Yet.

“Yeah.” Now what? Was this the part where Mr. Spector called the cops? Shit Mike didn’t have that much money, he’d never be able to afford bail. Who would take care of Grammy while he was in prison for Fuckupery?

“How the hell did you know they were the police?” Mike shrugged. In for a penny he supposed, and dove into the Mysterious World of Mike’s Memory. Genius kid extraordinaire. Mr. Specter looked suitably impressed.

“Damn, and how much money was Trevor offering you to commit a felony?”

“Twenty grand.” Mike said and Harvey’s eyebrow ticked up.

“Why’d you ask them what time it was?”

“Throw him off, what sort of drug dealer asks a cop what time it is?” Mr. Specter snorted, seemingly in disbelief of Mike’s obvious genius.

“We should hire you, hell I’d give you the twenty thousand as a signing bonus.”

“Wh-seriously?” Mike narrowed his eyes, assessing his previous image of Harvey Specter, attorney at law. Suit Shark indeed.

“Well, unfortunately we only hire from Harvard, and not only have you not attended Harvard Law School- you haven’t even attended any law school.” Mike was quiet for a moment, thinking. Risk assessment. Could be stupid. Could be reckless. Harvey (and when had he become Harvey?) frowned at him. Could be great. “Have you?” Mike grinned.

“Mr. Specter I don’t think we’ve been properly introduced,” Mike stood, extending a hand. “Mike Ross, Harvard Law class of 09. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Harvey stared at him, gap mouthed. The moment stretched out long enough that it became awkward, what with Mike’s hand just hanging there between them. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Nope,” he stuck his hand in his pocket.

“You graduated Harvard?”

“You know, the tone of incredulity is a tad uncalled for.” It wasn’t.

“Why are you not working as a lawyer then?” Ah, the Tragic Backstory. How much is too much?

“Eh, I worked as an ADA for a minute.”

“And then you got fired.” Well first off..rude.

“No, not exactly.”

“Then what, exactly? Why would you leave the DA’s office to become a bike messenger?” Ah, so many reasons. So, so many reasons.

“It’s complicated.” Which actually meant that it was a Level Three friendship conversation, and Harvey was not yet at a Level One. Harvey raised an eyebrow at him, looking as though he was thinking about pulling the secrets out by force.

“So you’re a genius lawyer bike messenger who moonlights as a drug dealer to get his delinquent friend out of a jam.” Well when you put it like that.

“Yup.” Here’s the part where Harvey actually kicks him out.

“Unbelievable.” Harvey moved towards his desk. “You know Cameron Dennis?” Here is where Mike gets to raise his eyebrow. Because yes, of course he knows the DA.

“Yeah.” Tentative, you know, like how you answer when you’re not sure what the mood of the room is. Do we like Cameron Dennis? Do we hate him? (Mike hates him, a considerable amount, but that’s also quite complicated and not important at the moment.)

Harvey opened his laptop, and Mike prepared to grab his weed and run. “What are you doing?” he asked, because when faced with jail time it’s best to be blunt.

“I’m e-mailing the firm to tell them I’ve just hired our newest associate.” Mike sat down.

“Oh.” This is the noise Mike makes when surprised. Take note, it doesn’t happen often.

Pearson & Hardman, Mike’s first day, stupid o'clock in the morning

Mike was not impressed. Nope. Not even a little bit. With the fancy offices and the big windows, the shiny sign that read Pearson Hardman in big letters when he walked in.

He was also sure that Pearson Hardman was equally unimpressed with him, what with his messenger bag and scuffed shoes, mud splattered pants and general air of Poverty(TM).

“Mike Ross?” The gorgeous brunette asked, walking into the lobby. Because Pearson Hardman was the sort of place that had beauty standards, really Mike should be flattered he qualified. “I’m Rachel Zane I’ll be giving your orientation.”

“Wow, you’re really pretty.” Mouth, meet foot (who's he kidding they're old friends).

“Great, you’ve hit on me. Now we can get out of the way that I’m not interested.” Ouch, burn.

“Ah no sorry I-I wasn’t-” (I’ll spare you the sorry awkward exchange. Rest assured, it is very awkward. Que fast forward montage of shiny and impressive office orientation, insert appropriate oohing and ahhing here.)

Mike thought he was very impressive. Screw that, he was very impressive. Rachel was totally blown away by his awesome brain powers.

“You know what nobody likes? A show off.” says the girl who’s spent the last hour showing off how smart and pretty and With It she is. (Psst, Mike, nobody say's With it anymore. Psch, dumbass.)

“You used the word ogle!” she spun on her heel. No, literally spun, Mike had no idea that was something girls actually did. “Hey, when am I gonna get to see Harvey!” she did not turn around. Rude.

Well, if she wasn’t going to help him find Harvey then he was just going to have to find him himself. Shouldn’t be too hard, the way Rachel talked about him you’d think the sun shone out of his ass.

He supposed he could just ask someone, it would probably be better than wandering around like a lost puppy. He wasn’t going to do that though, that was boring. Instead he strode around like he owned the place, very purposeful and not pathetic at all. Now Mike had clearly not given the hot redhead enough credit before. I mean, yes, she was Level 10 hot, out of his league and so very, very intimidating. Like he was pretty sure if he got to close he'd cut himself on her eyebrows or lose his soul by proximity to her glare. He inched forward cautiously.

“No,” he blinked, her nameplate read Donna and she was even more intimidating in this, her natural habitat.

“Um,”

“Harvey’s not here.”

“I can see that.”

“Don’t you have puppy lawyer things to go do?” She asked, quirking a deadly and immaculately carved eyebrow at him, her fingers never pausing on her keyboard, moving at blinding speeds.

“No actually, I do not, as I have yet to speak to Harvey. So if I could just-” he gestured towards the empty (lavish and impressive) office. Donna sighed, and pointedly turned away to ignore him. He took this as unofficial permission and slipped inside.

This, this was without a doubt the coolest office he’d ever seen. Not that he’d seen that many offices. Cameron’s office wasn’t this cool. Cameron’s office was boring as shit compared to this. Harvey’s office had a fucking wall of records. It beat the pants off of Cameron’s office.

Mike walked over to the giant ass window to stand and look down at all the New-Yorkers below like a fucking giant. Fear me peasants! I am your overlord! (yes, Mike is a giant dork, in case this was not already self evident.) This was the best. No wonder Harvey was so arrogant, with a view like this how could you not be?

“Mike,” Mike did not jump. Or startle. Or blink in an objectively shocked fashion. “I’m gonna have to let you go.” And we’re back to the universe sucking again. Mike was beginning to wonder if this was still his life.

“What?” Because there had to be an explanation, life couldn’t actually be that cruel.

“I just got reamed for lying to a client, and if they find out I lied about you being an upstanding citizen instead of a pothead they’ll take away my license.”

“You what?” said Donna over the intercom, sounding far too excited for this situation.

Mike, Mike had a decision to make. He liked to be honest, for the most part, but it was always a matter of what level of honesty to deploy...never maximum. Maximum honesty was bad and usually ended with him in the nuthouse. Medium honesty? Honesty abridged?

“Look, I have to put my own interests above yours, it’s nothing personal. You’re fired.” He sat down. Mike stared at him.

Now Mike rarely stared at people, he’d found with his IQ he tended to notice too much, so he avoided heavy eye contact as much as possible. But now he stared at Harvey. Really looked. Harvey’s jaw was clenched, his leg crossed over his knee, his shoulders tense but trying not to be. His eyebrow twitched. Mike came to a conclusion. An interesting, surprising, altogether unexpected conclusion. And that...that changed some things.

“So...you’re telling me you’re going to fire me because if they find out you lied about me you’ll lose your license. But if you fire me I can just tell them you lied and you’ll definitely lose your license.” he leaned back against the turntable, watching. Harvey stood up.

“Are you saying that if I throw you under the bus you’ll drag me down with you?” Mike shrugged.

“Hey, you said you’re putting your needs above mine. This is just me putting my needs up there with yours.” he grinned.

“You’re re-hired.” Harvey said, and walked out.

“Huh, I can’t believe that worked.” Mike mused.

“Me either.” Donna said over the intercom.

“Do you just listen in on all his conversations?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.”

Mike’s shitty apartment, after a long weird day at work, where Trevor the President of Dicktown awaits to employ his Dickery once again

“What are you doing here?” Mike did not need this right now. Mike needed the opposite of this. And a shower.

“Watching sports center. Booya!” Fuck you Trevor. “Also, it’s really fucking weird that you live in an old boxing gym dude.” Seriously fuck you Trevor. “You won’t return my phone calls.”

“Uh, yeah, because you set me up. Remember that?” Deep breaths. Deep calming breaths. In through the nose, think of Buddha. Or Gandhi. The path of non-violence or whatever.

“Did you forget the gun to my head part?” Mike’s mouth twitched. Fucking Trevor.

“Did you forget the part where being a fucking drug dealer gets you shot in the head?” Path of non-violence, path of non-violence. Fucking Trevor

“Oh, come on, how could I have known those guys had guns?”

“Uh, I don’t know Trevor, maybe because they’re fucking drug dealers!” Path of non-violence, path of non-violence.

“Look, I’m sorry okay. Let me make it up to you.” Mike’s mouth twitched again.

“You want to make it up to me? Give me my key back.” he held his hand out for it, chanting a mantra of peace and serenity in his head. Maybe it would work this time. Trevor handed over the key and Mike opened the door for him.

“Michael,” Trevor said, giving him that look. Seriously fuck that look, “you know I don’t wanna live in a world where we’re not tight.” he mimed boxing at him. For real he actually did that. Like a douche.

“Then kill yourself.” Mike said. Because the alternative was Mike killing him, and that was frowned upon in this society. “Get out.” Trevor left looking like a kicked puppy, and Mike let out the biggest breath, trying to shake out all the nerves and tension and fucking Trevor.

Now Mike needed a workout and a shower, in that order. He supposed it was his own fault for indulging him. He should have listened to his Grammy years ago and kicked him to the curb. But he was Trevor, they’d been together forever. Shared a childhood, puberty, a brief and fucked up college career. Mike didn’t have a lot of people, he couldn’t really afford to dump anybody, no matter how shitty and useless they were.

With a weary sigh he dumped his work shit and headed for the salmon ladder. It was going to be a long night.

#I don't know how to write short stories #Waiting for the Thunder #chapter 1 #my writing #mine #don't repost please

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