Pls Give Karl Heisenberg smut and fluff 😳🙏🏼

oh ho!? whats this?! a blank cheque for mayhem?!?! how can i resist such a call?

fluff

- Karl is a cuddler but you dont need me to tell you that.

- his favorite place to cuddle is in bed or in a massive arm chair next to a fire. you can play games or read with your head on his shoulder or maybe he'll let you lie across him. He likes throw an arm around you and watch you do stuff while he just relaxes into the cusions. he's also fond of using you as a pillow

- personally, i like always cold karl over space heater karl. its one of the reasons he doesnt go outside the factory much, he hates the cold. He likes to cuddle with his s/o for warmth, stick his hands in your pockets/gloves/sleeves to keep them warm. he always scoots over to your side of the bed when you leave s/o he can lie in the warm spot.

- Karl is a serial clothes thief. he will take anything that fits but socks are his favorite target. he loves to steal his s/o's bed socks, the fluffy kind. mostly its to keep his feet warm but also theyre so soft and his are all worn.

- stealing his s/o's winter gear is also popular with him. he likes to take scarves that smell of your perfume/cologne and hats that smell of your shampoo. he'll borrow accessories occasionally too like sunglasses or jewellery.

- He's not big kissing, at least not in private anway. out in public he likes PDA as a way of showing you off, making a spectacle etc. at home however he's a lot more guarded with his physical affection, usually reserving it for special occasions. his favorite way of showing affection is something like a head bump or eskimo kiss ( nose bump)

Smut

-karl loves to do dirty talk and flirts almost constantly. but when its reciprocated or youre the one to start it, he becomes a hot mess. something about you being verbally dominant in the bedroom really does it for him.

- he never uses words like "slut" or "whore" because he finds them degrading ( unless you've asked him to call you that, then he might consider it) He prefers to sweet talk to outright degradation, encouragement over insults. same goes for him, he'd prefer if you didnt outright insult him when talking dirty unless he's asked you before hand .

- he really enjoys Cockwarming/strapwarming, both on you and him. Sometimes its nice just to have a conversation while while feeling you inside him or vice versa . he enjoys feeling warm and full as much as he likes to be the one doing the filling.

- Mirandas research on how mold sex works is light at best. He's always worried he's going to give you some weird STD or something. because of that Karl enjoys non-penetrative sex. he's very understanding of partners who cant or dont want to fuck; hand jobs, titfucking, intercrural sex ( thigh fucking) and good old fashion mutual masturbation are all acceptable to him.

- he really enjoys the idea of sounding but has never actually had the balls to try it ( badum tss). i imagine he's attempted it with his metal powers, but getting close to cumming means he loses fine control, he's worried he'll do himself some damage.

-Lets be real, Karl is a cocky fucker, self obsessed with an inflated ego. he thinks he's gods gift to his partners at times, i think it would be hot as hell for you to put him in his place every now and then. Take charge, tell him how you want things to go, even if he insists on topping.

- for as much of a private person as he is, he does enjoy the odd bit of exibitionism. this is mostly in the form of fucking where you COULD be seen rather than where you CAN be seen. he also enjoys fucking in front of a mirror or a set of his tv screens so he can watch from 3rd person.

thats all for now nonnie! im still slowly trying to do fics as well as the asks still in my inbox

Could not agree more the whole show is a mess! Like eg I don't remember the last time there was any banter just for the sake of it. cos one of my fave scenes ever is Terry telling Ryan and Aaron to go see the world, telling the story of his time in france, so unecessary technically but exactly what made the show so great and put it above HO or EE etc which were always depressing. Now its depressing but also terrible I honestly can't work out how it went so wrong :/

I mean Covid has certainly made more casual scenes difficult just because it's harder to have characters just run into each other and cross stories. They get pretty isolated in their little groups. And there are obviously less community based stories as a result too. It's one of the reasons I cannot wait until they're able to ease some of those restrictions. I don't care about touches and hugs and kisses, I just want more characters to be able to be in a scene. I want the pub filled and the cafe filled etc.

But considering their current stories are so dreadful, I think the show would really benefit from adding in some smaller story stuff or just allowing characters to banter and joke around. There's a reason every comment section on an emmerdale post includes at least a few people going "where is the joy and the humor??". And it's just so few and far between these days. They have to wait for a little story like the whole Leyla/Liam proposal thing to get that and then it's almost too much.

But there's a reason why a lot of our fandom responded to a snarky character like Mack when he first arrived. It's because he was having a good time. There's a reason so many of us liked those little exchanges about Mack and Ryan moving in to Marlon's. They were fun. I even liked a Dingle scene when Marlon went to talk to Chas and Faith about Cain being mean to him and them laughing. That's the kind of scenes we need more of these days.

I also still think that little clothing exchange story back last year was a nice thing for the show during covid times. It allowed for some fun crossover of stories and for different characters to interact. We got that great little scene of Liam trying to channel Cain. It was fun stuff.

And we need a return to caring about friendships, even if they're outside of story groups. I feel like Gabby and Liv have kind of gotten on people's nerves this year being on a lot but stuck in their own repetitive stories, but that one scene where they remembered they were friends and actually talked was great. How much less irritating would their current stories be if they got to interact now and then. We haven't even seen Liv react to Gabby being pregnant. And Gabby seems to have no clue that Liv is drinking again and missing. And it's weird. And a mistake.

One of my favorite scenes of old is that scene where Aaron and Adam are at the cricket pavilion and Aaron is in the depths and depression of the tail end of the Jackson story but no one knows yet and Adam is in the middle of his Ella/Mia drama and he tells Aaron about it and it lights Aaron up and it was such a welcome change for him. We need more scenes like that now to break up the monotony of some of these awful stories.

I also always think of Ashley trying to get the cricket team together and going around and asking people and Aaron being like "yes of course" and then "no".

But yes, in general, I need that kind of content back. It's what makes the show have heart and feel like a real little village that has warmth. It's what makes the show, the show and part of the reason why everything feels so hollow, aside from you know...just the terrible story ideas and the bad writing. Haha.

And I'm back with my AU for part 2. Reminder that this AU may contain PTSD, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares, torture and everything coming with traumatising events that Finral went through during his time in the Spade kingdom (if you have the strength to write it or do fanarts about this AU) and the fact that he couldn't save Asta broke him or at least the old Finral so that a new one can rise.

So Finral break downs as his portal close and unleash the true power of his spatial magic as he let his negative emotions flow (sadness, anger etc...). The nine captains of the magic knights who were reunited because Julius called them for a reunion can feel this huge mana and they are all like "Is that a freaking mana zone !?" Julius, being the nerd he is, can't resist to the call and go check it. The captains are curious because if it's a mana zone created by someone who is still isn't in the magic knights then... The squad with this potential recruit will be a lucky one.

Red flag number one ring in their head when they step outside and could hear someone screams, the second red flag comes up when they realize it comes from the Vaude house. The news that the eldest child of Ledior Vaude disappeared mysteriously during night was number one for one month which make Julius worried because people with interesting, powerful and useful magic were disappearing all over the kingdom. And three years later, this family of noble is hit by something else. The final red flag, even if it should have appease Julius and the captains mind but it didn't, were the presence of the disappearing people plus completely strangers Finral included. But the fact that Ledior's first child was the one who was screaming in despair, crying AND doing a mana zone clearly show that something was wrong.

Julius use his time magic to stop Finral and knock him out so they can calm the situation and know what is going on. And big news: the strangers are citizens from the Spade kingdom who had fallen in the hands of the Zogratis siblings after they killed the Grinbellior family which is the royal family of the Spade kingdom. Knowing that this whole day wasn't over, Julius invited the citizens of Spade in Clover, William, Fuegoleon, Nozel and Charlotte asked that some mages of their squad accompany the kidnapped citizens of Clover back to their home and Yami, Jack, Gueldre and Dorothy asked for their company to search for a Spade kingdom spy or any suspicious people. Julius contact Owen to prepare himself to check on Finral Roulacase.

And everyone is horrified when they learned of Finral state: injuries that didn't heal properly, sign that shows Finral mana has been forcefully absorb but in small part, dehydratation, malnourishment and the threat of an internal bleeding if Owen doesn't start working now ! Ledior is livid, Liliane thankful it wasn't her Langris-chan which earn her glares from her husband and Owen and Langris ? He tries his best to not throw up.

Five days later, Finral woke up in his room in his father house, screaming, his father and Langris heard him, don't waste time, burst in Finral's room, saw him wrapped in the blankets holding them tightly. Then he saw them or more like saw Langris, run to him and hug his bro while crying again. Finral thought it was nightmare and he feel his brother stiffen. And this is where Finral realized it wasn't a bad dream but the horrible reality, that what happen in Spade was real.

His father could only watch as Finral put clean clothes on him fast like his life depend on it as he went outside only Langris asked him what is going on and Finral drop the bomb.

"I am going back to Spade kingdom !" without giving any reasons and it was enough for Ledior to snap back. Fight between father and son ensue, almost using their magic if it wasn't for Julius, Marx is also there along with the nine captains to see how bad it really was. With Finral approbation, they saw his memories, from his kidnapping to his (painful) return. They all saw how much he took care of a six year old Asta and how Asta took care of Finral, Julius smiled big time when Asta told to Finral he will become the Wizard King so he can protect everyone and make things equal between nobility, commoner and orphans. They also saw the fights. Then they directly skip to their evasion and how it happened. And oh boy, they were in for a wild ride: the Dark Disciple revealing to everyone that Asta was manaless (Fuego praised Asta to have been able to survive and win his fights by using his body for three years), Charlotte clenched her fist as the man was going to murderer a child then to Ledior and Langris surprise, Finral stood up, use his magic and heard him how he trusted a commoner and believed in his dreams. Biggest surprise is a grimoire appeared in front of Asta and that left everyone mouth agape excepted Julius who was going into a nerd mode as they watched the suppose boy with no magic beat any soldiers. The Wizard King was more excited when Asta shared his theories about spatial magic and was ready to ask Finral if Yami didn't stop him.

They watched everything but they still had one question and Finral showed them the memory as he couldn't stop shaking since he was going to re-lived this moment and it still hurts. Just like the two boys, those who were watching the memory thought it was finally over but knew something was wrong the second they saw Asta and Finral tense and being scared, they could feel something evil just like the first time in the cell. Dorothy opened her eyes as she identified one of them and shot a look to Nozel and he got the message. William nodded as he approved Asta's idea to escape silently from whoever is their opponent. Then everything went fast as they held their breath. The boys being discovered, Asta sending forcefukly Finral into the portal, the eldest trying to reach the portal to grab Asta and all hope being lost as the portal cruelly closed, separating the two of them. 

No one knew what to say to Finral as he was silently crying but of course Ledior being not a good father said the one thing he shouldn't have, that the most important is Finral is okay and he should forget this orphan boy, that it is the only way to turn the page. Even Langris grimaced when he heard his father said that because he royally f***ed up big time and he understood that Finral saw this Asta as little brother and honestly Langris doesn't mind. As for the captains, Julius and Marx, they gave privacy as much as they could noticing Finral was a ticking bomb ready to explode. (They still heard it.)

But back to Finral, he literally snapped angrily at his father and is pretty much vocal about it.

"How dare you said something like this !? He isn't an animal, he is a human being just like us ! And nothing can change this fact, not even magic and certainly not our status !!! But you can't understand that ! What matters to you is power and how rich you are ! You didn't even care when MY mom died, you remarried yourself as soon as you can because your precious status is more important than the mother of the first child !!! It's like you give up what actually make us human in the first place just for your own ambitions even if it means to sacrifice the sanity of your own children ! You put myself and Langris in a competition and we have to earn your love and your affection through OUR power, OUR actions that you have to judge satisfying enough ! You didn't even ask me what is my fighting style or in which area I feel comfortable enough to fight ! You choose for myself that I have to be an offensive mage, YOU decide that the day MY spatial magic appeared that I have to be like YOU ! And you did the same thing with my little brother ! You wanted to gain power ? You wanted to be aknowledge by royalty so you can have a say in the personal matters of the kingdom ? Then do it yourself instead of using your own children ! And if you really wanted to have the attention of the king's family then offers him something he doesn't have but longed for: the trust of the citizens of this kingdom by helping them, giving the poors a better life through education. You have the means and the reasons of doing it but no... You prefer to let your children doing the so-called "dirty" work and take all the credits ! But guess what ? I AM DONE WITH YOUR CRAP !!!! And before you said that Asta's ghost is actually controlling me, let me tell you something: I always thought this but shut up because I was scared of the consequences but it's over, I won't let you ruin my life anymore ! Finral Vaude is dead the day he understood if he ever escaped the Spade kingdom nothing will be ever the same and he was right ! I am now Finral Roulacase Staria, I wear those names to honor my mother and someone I treated like a brother but also as a reminder that I was too weak to protect a light, a star that illuminate the life of several people ! The only thing that you should be proud of Father is if Spade taught me one thing is staying weak will help no one and that from now, I will use offensive spatial magic but I will be no more your little pawn that you can move as you want in your chess game ! And to show that Asta was right I will start from the bottom to go to the top, no matter the time it has to take. I will take some personal things with me, go get my grimoire and work hard until the magic knights exam  comes up. Until that, you won't hear about me."

Finral left the room, Yami was mentally laughing his ass off because that noble kid wasn't taking shit from his dad anymore and leave Vaude's house to join his band of rascals in their base, the others captains did the same things. Marx and Julius regain the headquarters (Julius is already planning to watch Finral), Langris left his father to join his brother, knowing where he would be, paying his respect to his mom before he left.

They had a conversation how things were bad when Finral disappeared, this time Finral promised that if Langris needed a shoulder to lean on or to get his feelings out then he could find Finral everytime with his own spatial mark put on Finral so he can find fast. Or want to train or have a peaceful time with his big brother. (Langris will totally do that because his brother opened his eyes about how crappy their parents are even though he won't admit it. But also to make sure Finral take care of himself which he doesn't but that would be for a next time.)

/ j*ffree st*rr vc / hey everyone welcome BACK to my blog, hi, how they heck are ya ? i’m jazzy, 21, fem pronouns, est tz, and m(ental) a(buse) t(o) h(umans) is my fav subject. now today i’m bringing you miss DIAMOND WU ... our homegirl inspired by the likes of : london tipton ( suite life series ) , cher horowitz ( clueless ) & the iconic karen smith ( mean girls ) so ... this should b interesting ! go head and smash tht heart button / hmu so we can plot !

❛ it’s another day for new yorker, diamond wu. paparazzi spotted the jessica vu lookalike strolling down broadway street in yves saint laurent, a fabulous choice. according to tmz, you just had your nineteenth birthday bash. during the seventeen years of living in the city, you’ve gained a reputation for being dimwitted, but don’t stress, being effervescent can make up for it. ( cisfemale & she/her ) + ( jazzy, 21, she/her, est. )

pinterest + bio + social media thingy

once upon a time in asia ,

first things first, diamond’s family is huge. her family had money before they had money, before they had money. her ancestors were affluent vietnamese traders, merchants, blacksmiths, etc. so basically,  old money, ancient money really.

diamond charlotte-bian wu was born in ho chai minh city, vietnam to two prominent young people in the south east asian high society. two socialites who made names for themselves outside of their respective families. her mother, basically the asian princess diana, and her father who was planting the seeds for his resort, hotel, and cruise line early on. a pioneer in the modern era vacation industry no doubt.

her mother passed away when she was only two years old, but in their short time together she was very much the apple of her mothers eye. they went everywhere together, and were honestly attached at the hip. matching outfits, covering lifestyle magazines, and refusing the care of nannies, they were no doubt best friends.

following her mothers death, diamond and her father relocated to new york city, to oversee construction of the very first wu hotel, much to their families dismay, a year later on october 6, 2003. diamonds third birthday, the grand opening served as her third birthday party actually. business has been booming every since, and coincidentally became their new home.

new york state of mind ,

with the thriving business that soon developed into 570+ hotels, three resorts, and a cruise line. it often kept her father on his at all times, and it caused him to rarely be home as diamond was often left in the care of nannies, maids, and chefs. something her mother never wanted for her, and in stubborn fashion, her father refused to send her back to any family member.

she easily developed a self-centered attitude at a young age due to no real parental figure in her life, no real guidance and her father “made up” for it with numerous gifts. it was a fun childhood, but that one thing was always missing. an absent father, and four stepmoms later.

sending diamond to the best schools didn’t help either, she barely learned anything, or even attempted to learn. which definitely backfired on her end, it caused her to be sharp as spoon. how she graduated from high school? a mystery really.

who am i really? 

refusing a college education, developing a passion for anything of the sort drove a wedge between diamond and her father. even though he started this wealthy industry all his own, he was still viewed as a lesser because he left home, and took his heir(ess) of a daughter with him.

fed up with.... well, everything, diamond started taking advantage, really taking advantage of her wealth after high school. soon gaining a more impressive following on social media, she launched a youtube channel in the beginning of 2018, one that varied in hilarious fashion, makeup, and style reviews, and also vlogs of her affluent lifestyle. again, to her entire families dismay. 

personality

diamond is a very unique character, coming from the literal definition of greatness, she was always held to a higher standard from the start of things, which she swayed away from more and more as time went on.

she can literally be summed up as “ rich in dollars, poor in sense “ she’s definitely not the sharpest tool in the shed. dumb as hell really, i guess that’s what happens when you barely make it out of high school.

her work ethic, surprisingly, is poor. until it comes to her brand, which she found out early on. she’ll desperately try to ease her way out of any labor, paperwork, whatever it may be, being lazy and complacent may be her fatal flaw.

as the un-professed (but obviously known) family disappointment, she’s been convinced that she won’t ever be “good” enough like her cousins, or anyone else in the family, she’s been put down so many times, she literally just gave in to it, and became what her family viewed her as. lazy, irresponsible, and stupid.

growing up with money running in her family and being spoiled rotten,  she can be very greedy, basically... her way or the high way. however, she still manages to be somewhat more heartwarming if the occasion needs it.

but, negatives aside, it seems nobody really truly knows about diamond. if anything, she’s very self aware of her flaws and quietly does her best to improve, in some aspects. however, if its not a fashion magazine, she will not be picking up.

she enjoys being self-sufficient, which is exactly why she takes great pride in her youtube channel, its something unique and all her own. she’s gotten over five million subscribers in as little over a year. she’s attending award shows, movie premieres, nyfw, the girl has done what she needed to do.

she’s not exactly ALL that dumb, she’s actually very knowledgeable in things she’s interested in. she can recount the history of makeup, origin of chanel, examine and cite fabric on clothing well, etc. she’s got a hidden depth to her beyond the sunny disposition she puts out there

headcanons ,

says dumb shit half of the time. especially on social media and thru her yt channel, i mean just look at her tweets.

trials and tribulations aside, she’s honestly living in her own fantasy world as of late. she’s very much a nonconformist. she only associates with her toxic family when she has to go to some family reunion or wedding. where she acts as the boujee cousin who doesn’t interact wit anybody.

she’ll do anything for he youtube channel and thats final. clickbait? don’t know her. you said we’re “BREAKING INTO BEYONCE’S HOUSE, DANCING TO SINGLE LADIES IN BLUE IVY’S ROOM” then thats exactly whats happening.

her AND her father are the fam disappointments. and he’s trying his best with her because he just knows he effed up big time, and can obviously tell his wife/her mother’s death was the worst thing for their relationship too.

fresh outta high school, still has lots and lots of maturing to do.

has a female pet corgi. the only thing besides herself that she can take care of. dj, or diamond jr. as she likes to call her.

fresh !!!! out of high school, talking one, going on two years.

misc,

wanted connections? don’t have her! 

For the music event!!!

Submitted by @amysandiago :

I am so excited about the music event! As a Chinese, I often want to recommend songs to people from other countries, but they probably aren’t interested because they don’t know the language. These may not be the best songs ever, but they are songs that I like and are familiar with, and I will provide a little context so people aren’t just hearing jumble of sounds lol. 

小日子 (Little days) by Joey Yung: Joey Yung has been one of the most famous singers in HK for years now, and she was the first celebrity that I actually cared about lol. (Forgive me, this playlist has many of her songs in it oops.) This song is about a couple living simply and peacefully, without needing to show off their love to others, or be rich or important etc. Imagine a royal!AU fanfic where someone abdicates to marry the person they love instead of following through with an arranged marriage, and they go off to run a little flower shop together. Very soft and very lovely.  

搜神記 (something about looking for a god?) by Joey Yung: This song is actually quite feminist. It is about a woman realising that she has placed too much emphasis on her (male) lover, and that she has neglected the beauty of the world and herself in the process. In the end, she decides to walk away from all that and puts herself first. In the end, she finds the god in herself rather than in others.

損友 (Bad friend) by Joey Yung: Joey is actually famous for her sad love songs, so I have to include at least one lol. This is about how the singer is in love with a player (bad friend isn’t exactly apt, but I am sure google translate did its best. Maybe friend who is an unhealthy influence?). She chooses to be with him as a platonic friend instead, as a friendship is more secured than a short-term fling that can end at any moment.

黃色大門 (The Yellow Door) by Joey Yung and 紅屋頂 (The Red Roof) by Denise Ho: The Yellow Door is a song about the singer’s fantastical world, featuring angels, dinosaurs and gardens behind wardrobes, that she escapes to from the harsh real world. The best I can describe it is as a theme song for Pisces, and I love how whimsical it is. The Red Roof is along the same vein, about the singer holding up a red roof, a whimsical and imaginary world where people, especially outcasts are welcomed and loved. I put these songs together because some people have theorised that the songs are about closeted gay people in HK, and rumours of a romantic relationship between Joey and Denise added weight to the theory. Neither of them ever confirmed their relationship, and Joey had never made any statement regarding her sexuality AFAIK. But Denise came out as gay back in 2012, and she has been a LGBT activist since then.

勞斯．萊斯 (Rolls & Royce) by Denise Ho: This leads very nicely to another song by Denise. Two guys fall in love under the proximity of studying in the same school, but they do not end up together due to society pressure and homophobia. In the end, the singer says that there will be no change in the society unless people come out as who they are. I didn’t appreciate the beauty of that song until I realised that I am bi. And it is very brave for Denise to publish a song as explicitly gay as that one, seven+ years before she came out formally, as Asia is on the whole much more conservative.

人海中遇見你 (Meeting you among the crowd) by Johnny Yin: Another happy love song. It is mainly about how lucky the singer feels that he can encounter the love of his life among a mass of people, and how he cannot wait to share everything with them and hopes that it would always feel like home where they are. It is a popular song in weddings, as you can imagine. xD

突然好想你 (Suddenly Missing You) by Lala Hsu (originally sung by MayDay, not to be confused with MayDay Parade): Another fairly famous song. I personally like the cover better than the original. The sadness is more subtle in this one, laced with a bit of exhaustion if that makes sense. It is about how the singer is scared of suddenly hearing about her ex out of the blue after losing contact for a long time, knowing that it will bring back pain and hurtful memories. She also wonders about them, where they are now and how they are doing. I bet many people can relate to that.

我不願讓你一個人 (I won’t let you be lonely) by MayDay: Yay for lyrics! It is an angsty song about a man who still worries about his SO’s wellbeing after they have broken up. He prepares extra clothes for them when it’s cold and asks for their opinion out of reflex even though they have moved out. He doesn’t want them to be lonely and face the harsh world alone and wishes that they will find their happy ending one day.

給自己的情書 (A love letter to myself) by Faye Wong: I like to listen to this song when I feel down and need a soothing pick-me-up that isn’t power rock&roll lol. The song basically advises people to love and care for themselves, and their love will shelter them from the rain like a tree, even if they have no one but themselves to rely on.

缺口 (Gap/notch) by Harlem Yu: The English translation isn’t perfect, but here you go. Just a simple love song about who people who complement each other despite their differences. I also recommend the movie this song is from. It is called Café. Waiting. Love. It is a rom com and features a super hot lesbian barrista who regrettably, isn’t the main. :P

童话 (Fairy Tale) by Michael Wong: Eng subs! The singer wants to be an angel from a fairy tale, ad protect his lover and gives them a happy ending. I remember the international students singing this during mealtimes even though they didn’t know a nick of mandarin lol. But the lyrics are repetitive, so they got the hang of it. xD I will always remember the song fondly because of that.

下一站天后 (Next station Tin Hau) by Twins: Tin Hau is actually an underground station in HK, but it can also mean a famous female singer or celebrity. Even when the singers are about to become huge singers, it would mean nothing without the people love most there listening to them. And all the fame and adoring fans pale in comparison to the prospect of singing softly to their lover in their home. (I probably love domestic love songs way too much…)

小酒窝 (Dimples) by JJ Lin and Charlene Choi: Another love song with eng subs! Two people fall in love gradually, their favourite facial features of each other are their dimples and long lashes. Cute and soft. All fluff. :D

手紙 ～拝啓 十五の君へ (Letters to my 15-year-old self) by Angela Aki: Another motivating song. It is not in my native language, but it is too beautiful not to be included. Even when your dream is hard to reach, and you want to give up, or you feel lost and tired and sad, it is important to just keep going. I also recommend this cover, and bonus: it has English lyrics lol which everyone should read because it is motivating and sincere and touching and I love this song.

浮生盡(????) instrumental cover by 鍾嘉鳳: GuZheng is a Chinese instrument that I personally feel is especially suitable for playing sad love songs like this one. The sounds are truly beautiful so I have to include at least one GuZheng piece!

Secrets track 22 by Jay Chou: A lovely piano piece from a Taiwanese (?) movie called Secrets.

My Tamako, My Sookee (soundtrack from Korean movie The Handmaiden): People probably know about this already but I love this piece of music so much I have to mention it lol.

Fate of Us (soundtrack from Japanese movie Tomorrow I Will Date With Yesterday’s You): Another instrumental track. It would sound more heart wrenching once you have watched the movie. Yes, you should definitely watch it but make sure to avoid spoilers cause there’s a big twist coming.

Smother and Youth, both by Daughter: People can probably find this so I am not going to link. Sometimes I just want to wallow in sadness and no amount of happy songs will get me out of that. This is when I turn to these songs, and basically the whole album lmao. There is something soothing about listening to songs that seem to understand what you are going through.

Sounds like Somewhere by Lily and Madeleine: Another happier song. This, combined with track 9, 14 and The Yellow Door from 4 are my stables for getting out of a sad mood haha.

I am sorry this is so long and I am so rambly. But I do get so excited when people are interested in Chinese music lol. Hope you enjoy. :)

Thank you so much for your rec-list! I’m so happy to discover some Chinese songs, all these singers have such beautiful voices!! Joey Yung’s songs are so gorgeous! Thank you as well for the comments on each song! Thank you for taking the time to do this!!

Got tagged by two people and since the questions are custom-made (lol) I guess, I’ll answer twenty-two instead of eleven LMAO. Love you both guys!

The rules are:

• Post the rules

• Answer the questions given to you by the tagger

• Write eleven questions of your own

• Tag eleven people

QUESTIONS FROM @equusgirl​

1. If you could have lunch with anyone alive or dead, who would it be?

This is a tough one. I have many different aspects of myself—several masks. My joker-self would want to be with my friends because I never fail to make them laugh their pants off. My lonely-self would want my future spouse, whoever that person is, right now. My artist-self would want Vincent Van Gogh so I could do the Doctor Who thing where I would reassure him that he is amazing. 

My desperate-self would want Bob Ross because I bet he’d inspire me the hell out. My sad-self would want to have lunch with my dead happy-self because I bet I’d slap the hell out of my face. My family-oriented-self would want my maternal grandfather I never got to meet because he doesn’t know me and it’s nice to have a family who would probably say that they’re proud of me. Estranged relatives are like that, I think lmao

OH and I would also want any psychologist, so I’d have free sessions to deal with my ADHD because I can never afford to have more sessions, and I’d finally get a prescription cos I need dem meds.

2. You’re stuck on an elevator with whoever is on your lock/home screen. Who is it?

If we’re talking about my phone, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with the Eiffel Tower (lock screen) and Mona Lisa (home screen). If we’re talking about my computer, I guess I’m stuck on an elevator with Sherlock (lock screen) and Leo Valdez (home screen). Ho-ho-ho I will be in an elevator with self-loathing mask-wearing joking-but-dead-inside heroes. That will be fun.

3. Last TV show/movie you watched?

I rewatched the last episode of The Crown again after I binged-watched Riverdale and re-re-re-binged-watched The Good Place. Movie-wise, it was the Filipino film called “Ang Larawan”. It’s actually hard for me to watch films because it takes a lot of time for me to stay focused in one episode.

4. A cottage on the beach or a cabin in the mountains?

Cabin in the mountains. I hiss angrily at beaches because I tan so easily and I kid you not, I haven’t swum in a beach since 2009. In a country where lighter paler skin was more cherished, and being an insecure bullied 10-year-old. You’ll understand why. Nowadays, I guess the habit just stuck. ALSO CABIN IN THE MOUNTAINS HOW FREAKING COOL WOULD THAT BE... I’d be surrounded by trees, it would be cold there, I can sit by the fireplace, look out my window to view the beautiful forest and night sky, and just drink whiskey, read a book, and quietly whisper, “Bless.”

5. Last song you listened to?

If we’re not including Brooke Simpson’s performances (specifically, “It’s a Man’s Man’s Man’s World”) in The Voice which I legit just binge-watched before opening Tumblr, it would be the Riverdale Cast’s cover of “Mad World.” I was shookt that I liked it.

6. Most recent obsession?

Video-editing. More-so than usual. I legit have anxieties when I’m not making a video. I should probably stop after finishing these videos I’m doing because I know it will hinder my studies (which I’m already failing at because of my worsening ADHD), and it’s already ruining my sleeping patterns and eating habits. It’s a toxic kind of obsession.

7. Last thing you googled?

“people find out harry potter is abused fic rec” shut up (if interested, click here)

8. Which city would you most like to visit?

(for the first time?) Athens. (again?) either Assisi or Rome or Paris. You can’t make me choose.

9. If you could bring one (1) fictional character to life, who would it be?

I’m having a hard time between Mary Watson (Sherlock) and River Song (Doctor Who) *sobs*

10. Favorite thing about yourself?

My... God, I don’t know, really. I don’t really like myself so how can I find a favorite thing about myself? My ability to brag for things I’m not even good at, I guess? False advertising of myself, I guess? HAHAHAHHA WAIT NO! My ability to make anything sad or depressing. Yes, I’m good at that. It’s not my favourite thing about me but out of all, that’s the only thing I think I’m really good at.

11. Ideal career?

Becoming a wife and mother. Some people give me odd looks for this but I really want to take care of people in ways I never experienced. I want to be there for some people—to feel needed and depended on—to be trusted, long-term.

Younger-me would be furious. She was aro-ace. As a person who grew up only relying on books as company, I thought I would grow up as the typical strong independent woman who is a CEO or is an actress, or a musical theatre performer... I used to want to be that... 

But those dreams were based on what my family wanted. CEO because I grew up poor and being a CEO would make me financially stable which my parents wanted. Actress/Theatre Performer because my sister and I bonded through musical theatre, TV shows, and films, and we both love the arts (but I have to admit that she’s better than me with everything srsly im not kidding)...

But as just for myself? I really don’t see myself working for money, or working for the arts. I mean, obviously I want to work for money and for the arts, but... I want to work for people I care about—for a family I will finally not be scared enough to say “I love you” without fearing they would laugh in my face.

—oOo—

OKAY, NOW QUESTIONS FROM @musical-chick-13​

1. If you could wake up and be magically good at something you’ve never done before (or have little experience doing), what would you want it to be?

The ability to quickly understand things I’m not interested in and explain them to people easily with how I understood them. I think that would help me a lot in my Law class now at uni. Seriously, I’m having troubles reading, and I always stutter in class because I’m not good at formal English. 

My stupid brain needs time to process what I learned (which was written in English), explain it to myself (in Filipino), translate my explanation from Filipino to English, and focus enough to say those things out loud.

2. What is/are your favorite genre(s) of music?

I have an odd range: musical theatre, rock, indie, classical music, PIANO IS LIFE, ANYTHING AS LONG AS IT IS GOOD PIANO AT THE BEGINNING (usually starts with an A, idk why). Also, Lady Gaga and Beyonce. Hands down.

3. What was your first fandom?

Avatar: The Last Airbender. THE SERIES OKAY. A year after that was Harry Potter and Sherlock AT THE SAME TIME 2010 was a crazy year. Just like that, since I was eleven years old, I went down the road to fandom hell.

4. What is a play/musical/opera/etc. (basically any fictional work that’s not a book, movie, comic, or TV show) you like?

BOY YOU CAN’T MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN UGHGHGH ILL JUST PUT MY TOP SIX

Spring Awakening, Next to Normal, In the Heights. (I listen to the full album completely. The music is divine and the stories are beautiful. You got a story about sex, a story about mental illness, and a story about Hispanics). Spring Awakening’s and Next to Normal’s rock + violin music in a setting of 1800′s Germany and a typical family house, gets me on, ya know?

Sweeney Todd, Wicked, and Rent. (The typical classics I love, note that whenever Sweeney Todd’s Prologue and Wicked’s As Long as You’re Mine starts, I get orgasms just as much when the peak of Rent’s Goodbye Love goes). Great songs, seriously.

5. If you could get paid for doing a mundane task, what would you choose to get paid for?

Organising files.

6. What is a joke you really like?

My death.

7. If you had to have a job working under a fictional character, which character would you choose to be your boss and why?

Sherlock. He would know how to take care of me. He would know how to make me feel better. He has great work ethics, and he knows when to be harsh with his words and gentle, because he knows which people are deserving to be called idiots and those who are just insecure. Though I’ll probably annoy him because of how nervous I’d be but since “Faith Smith” I’d think he’d know how to deal with me, I guess.

8. What article of clothing is your favorite to wear (i.e., dresses, skirts, pants, suits, hats, jewelry, etc.)?

A gold necklace my grandmother gave to me because out of all my cousins (or our generation in our lineage), I’m the first one she gave an “inheritance” to because I happen to be her roommate. Considering that I am the dumbest in the family as well as the family freak, I consider this as my sole victory.

9. Do you consider yourself to be an optimist, a pessimist, or something else entirely?

A total pessimist. An optimist to those who are feeling pessimistic.  In my head, there is nothing but hopelessness, despair, and utter misery and pain. But homie, you say shit like that to me? You tell me you are feeling those? Yo, imma throw my rainbows and sunshine up your ass, you are gonna vomit glitter and light, I swear to all deities out there.

I may claim to say that I’m like this because I’m the only one who should be pessimistic, like I’m some narcissistic the-world-revolves-around-me idiot because I don’t like being depicted as anything else but manipulative, cruel, and an arsehole. So please stop telling me I’m nice or that I’m a good person. It makes me feel weird. They’re like unnatural things to say to me.

10. Feelings on cats?

Tolerable. My sister loves them. My school has cats just chilling around. They love me idk why. I love dogs more so I’m surprised they let me in their pack.

11. Favorite soda (or beverage in general if you don’t like soda)?

ALL MY FRIENDS KNOW OF MY WILD ADDICTION TO COCA-COLA.

—oOo—

MY QUESTIONS:

1. Are you feeling okay right now?

2. What is the funniest thing you have ever first-hand witnessed/experienced in real life?

3. Who is/are the most important person/people in your life and why?

4. What is a memory that wouldn’t fail to make you smile like an idiot while you’re in public?

5. How did you come to your current obsession?

6. Why do you ship your OTP (either real-life or fiction)?

7. Let’s pretend speed and distance (lol basically velocity), and quality are the same, would you rather be in a plane or a ship in a storm where there are many lightnings and thunder involved in December?

8. What is the object that is most sentimental to you?

9. If you could be in any fictional world, which one would you explore, and will you or will you not interact with your favourite character? Why or why not?

10. What animal do you most relate to or you consider to be your spirit animal? Why or why not?

11. How do you define the word, “Happiness”?

Tags: @thank-you-for-being-with-me​ @sentimentalgenius​ @addignisherlock​ @randombiochemist​ @simpleanddestructivechemistry​ @its-sentimental-adlock​ @themissadventurer​ @sorrowsflower​ @throughtheparadox​ @theleftpill​ No pressure, guys! Also to anyone who wants to answer, too! I even tag those who tagged me.

Final thoughts on Bright under cut (contains spoilers)

As far as a mainstream film I can imagine a lot of people not being on board with it. Urban fantasy as a genre is pretty niche as it is which is essentially why more urban fantasy probably hasn’t been made. It’s hard to balance the concept of magic with the reality of technology. In my opinion Bright had a bit of The Dark Knight syndrome, I guess; I personally thought The Dark Knight was insufferable and hokey as hell, saved solely by Heath Ledger’s Joker which, I think if it were a less-than-stellar performance, would have shown the film’s true colors. I can’t go too dark in the realm of superheroes or fantasy because it’s ultimately a very lighthearted thing, and it has to take root in reality for it to pull off darkness well. So, to me, The Dark Knight felt like just an everyday crime drama/action film a la James Bond or Bourne Identity but with two technicolor off-the-wall characters thrown in. Solely Two-Face could have kept it in the realm of being believable (something like American Psycho, a man going off the rails), but having the Joker and Christian Bale’s hilarious throaty Batman just swung the pendulum too far in the other direction. Like, it’s dudes in spandex and literal clown makeup; Ledger’s portrayal of such a concept as disturbing rather than admirable (as we tend to view costumed vigilantes within the superhero genre) is what saved the film. 

So I’m getting a bit of that with Bright. Telling a story of discrimination with fantasy races as if we live in a post-racist society is clumsy at best and violent at worst. Jakoby’s story is essentially that of the “whitewashed” POC straddled between worlds: not orc enough for other orcs (not “blooded”, clan-less, round-toothed) but not human enough to fit in with humans. I’m watching this as a white woman, so while I might identify with orcs in fantasy as their being outcasts, how a person of color relates to this story can vastly differ. Orcs as a construction of white fantasy (Western, European, however you want to phrase it) are riddled with racist undertones (and sometimes overtones) as it is, so in the context of the real world you can end up with some echo chamber racism in a setting like Bright’s. Orcs predominantly portrayed as gangsters living in the hood, shown as existing only in seedy or “ghetto” type environments with almost clownish stereotypical baggy clothing, jerseys, and chains, was heinously tone deaf. And the “cuerpo” jeers of the Altamira gangsters just felt like the writing of someone who believes in “trickle down racism”, that oppressed groups can be “racist” against one another rather than all subject to the ruling class. Additionally, it seemed like a shoddy way for the writer to absolve himself by saying “see, orcs are even LOWER than humans. Even dark-skinned humans! Because Will Smith is black and he’s a successful cop and also here is a latino and an asian cop...who is a WOMAN, and also he has a WHITE WIFE RACISM IS OVER”

I’m still reeling from just watching the film so I’m still in a bit of the afterglow of just having a movie MADE in this genre. And with an orc as a MAIN character, not off to the side or played for laughs as a dopey peon, etc., it made me very happy. But “positive orcish representation” only puts points in the fun meter and has no actual validity or importance; the real world representation lodged quite a wedge in my suspension of disbelief. It was hard to go along for the ride seeing actual places in L.A. that I visit in reality (like... was that rolling shot of all the tents on San Julian Street necessary?) being treated like props for “orcish oppression”. It’s hard to summarize my feelings on this particular subject, but ultimately this is not the time or era to be making a buddy cop film, truly, and the trope of the cookie cutter thug is tiresome. But that’s probably why I don’t watch these kinds of movies to begin with: the expectations are low, the story is the same, and it’s just a vehicle for shoot-outs, car chases, and combat scenes. 

Women in this movie were nonexistent. Just accessories or one-dimensional plot devices. And that incestuous “sister” shit always gets to me; I dunno about you, but I’ve never stroked my sister’s face and hair and given her nose kisses while straddling her. Who the fuck is that for? Tikka was rolling around like a damn e-tard half the time, completely nonverbal and helpless, fridged-but-not-really, and pretty much just inconsequential. Did not pass the Bechdel test.

I wish more of a backstory had been fleshed out. We heard a lot about the Shield of Light but we never saw them in action. We were told stories about “what happened 2,000 years ago” but there weren’t even flashbacks or any residual effect of those except the existence of the wand. And where is the wand now? How do we know it’s safe? How do we actually know the steel-blue-haired elf man who apparently had no name except that he was the “Magic Fed” elf can keep it safe and that he doesn’t want to bring about the Darklord? How do we know the Darklord was real? There were apparently “fanatics” but if it was that influential of an event, would there not be more evidence? We have human artifacts that are tens of thousands of years old; 2,000 years is nothing in comparison to Niaux cave paintings or Sumerian cuneiform. 

If this movie was trying to be Shadowrun in terms of urban fantasy, then it failed to understand what even I, with only passing exposure to it, know: it’s for nerds, and nerds love knowing shit. That means the more background information and minutiae, the better. Having a superficial story driven by tropes or special effects rather than by fantasy means it will ultimately flop. We live in the here and now; so focus on what we don’t have! There were little things: elves like shopping, orcs have great sense of smell and remote understanding of human facial expressions, and fairies are apparently... pests? But beyond that, the story was just about a bunch of people. The point was supposed to be “orcs are people too”, which is a shit benchmark, really, when the people going in to a movie about urban fantasy have already accepted this tacitly. The whole point is that they are “people too”, but they’re different. Nobody is interested in aliens because they’re gung-ho about meeting tunicates from another atmosphere; we want to meet people: conscious, sentient beings who think like us but are not us, who have their own culture and behaviors and mannerisms and so on. That is part of the huge appeal of orcs, to me. They’re everything I’m not, but of course I see them as sentient people; not better or worse, but different.

So, really, the “message” of this movie is lost on everyone: its stereotypes are insensitive to actual oppressed groups and its bullying of the humanoids we came to see is disheartening, insulting, and annoying for those who are already initiated with the genre. They should be working side by side because that’s what we came to see, not spending two solid hours treating the fantasy races like shit just for a shitty “human after all” sentiment. Where’s Bright 2 so I can watch a human and orc getting taco cart burritos together, elves and orcs and humans all moshing at an underground metal show, and Ward and Jakoby actually solving some real shit together instead of Ward making his partner a punching bag?

Bright missed a lot of very major opportunities to bring urban fantasy to life. Hellboy II’s single scene in the troll marketplace provided more magical backdrop than Bright’s entire running time (a statement I am unintentionally echoing from a film critic on rottentomatoes; but let it be known that Hellboy II is one of my favorite films purely for the perfect urban fantasy themes, a genre I felt at home in before I even knew there was such a thing). That being said, it was still a lot of fun and it’s definitely worth a watch if you’re even vaguely into orcs or the urban fantasy genre, and also I will protect Nicholas Jakoby with my life. 

Interview with Mark “Turbo” Turner

Former Eastern Bloc records employee and resident DJ at the legendary northern techno club The Orbit has kindly taken the time to answer some questions and provide a mix for Enchanted Rhythms. Read the interview below and check out the mix on our Soundcloud.

So let’s start at the beginning of your musical quest, what was your entry into deejaying and music?

Breakdancing was my entry into music. In the 80s when breakdancing kicked off I was a popper and had a little crew. You’d hear the music whenever you went out, whenever you’d go out meeting other crews someone would have a mixtape. Hearing this music you’d be like, “Oh my god. This is amazing”,  and you’d be like, “where do you buy this shit?”  People go, “you can just buy it in like Virgin or HMV,” so I’d get my pocket money and get on the bus or train and go to Leeds.

Where were you based then?

Featherstone which is in West Yorkshire, just some little mining village. Like I say I’d get my pocket money, get on the bus or train, get to Leeds and I’d have enough money to buy a record.

What were the tunes you were dancing to?

Stuff like Egyptian Lover, people like Knights of the Turntables, loads of stuff on a label called Vintertainment, then GrandMixer D.ST, Celluloid, which was more arty New York-style stuff, always interwoven with people like Keith Le Blanc who did more of the big beaty dub stuff in the early days. Tackhead, people like that from the UK...just really industrial sounding drum shit with early repeat style sampling stuff. You could tell they’ve just got a sampler and are hitting the key going “ah-ah-ah-ah-ah”. Early roots shit like that, rough, not quantized. In that period it didn’t mean shit, it sounded like future music anyway. Labels like Music Specialist, Pretty Tony, the roots of electro, obviously things like Cybertron’s Clear. We were more into the West Coast stuff like I say, Egyptian Lover, all the Crew Cuts records, World Class Wreckin’ Cru which is obviously Dr Dre’s possy before NWA. All the Crew Cuts was fucking badass, stuff like Clientele Yella. In Straight Outta Compton (the movie) they don’t even touch on that vibe.

So how old were you then?

A teenager. I think I got a set of decks when I was about 14. I’m 46 now, so a long time ago. My first turntables were two identical belt driven Pioneer hi-fi turntables with no pitch and some crap Tandy mixer from Radioshack. What I would do is get Jocks magazine, which was a forerunner to DJ Mag, where they used to review records and include the BPM. I’d roll into a record shop like Crash Records in Leeds and give them a random list of things that were similar in BPM. The style didn’t really matter, just because I knew I could mix them on my set-up. After a while I got some Technics rip-off Soundlab decks, and after those it was just a matter of saving up and buying the real thing. After having belt-driven Soundlab turntables getting a pair of Technics is one of the highlights of your life. These solid pieces of kit where you can actually mix records night and day.

How did you get into House music?

My friends were getting into the early Chicago stuff and one of them had been buying all the old Trax Records and had started a little night in Wakefield. I went to this night and after starting hearing that I was like “what is this shit?”, Chicago, this 4x4 shit, this is the next phase. I mean there was a period where you’re like “I’m not into that”. It can be like you’re a little tunnel blind to what you’re into, no matter what it is. I had that thing where it had to be electro or hip hop, everything else was shit. But then going out and hearing one of my mates playing me this stuff I was like, this is even better than what I’m already into. From there on it was just house shit and hip-hop/electro on the back-burner.

From that things progressed, and the rave period came. We used to go to illegal parties, loads of little raves in warehouses. Discovered gear, speed, acid, party fuel. This music sounds wicked but with this shit it sounds even better. The whole rave period of the early 90’s, we did illegal parties. I got busted at one in Leeds at this big Guilderson Rave (The Love Decade) in 1990. I think it was the biggest mass arrest ever in the UK with like 800 and something people arrested. I was locked up for 9 hours totally wired in a police cell with some mad scouse guy in the cell next door banging on the wall going ‘Hey, Macca, where are you Macca’. After getting out the cell I had to get on the bus and go back to my Mum’s house and she is like “where you been”, and I’m like  “err, nowhere”.

At this party were you playing or just raving?

Nah, it was a guy called Rob Tissera who was playing and he actually got a 6 month prison sentence. He wasn’t the organiser of the party but as the DJ everything got put on his shoulders. Those little parties were the intro to the Criminal Justice Act. After that party they really booted in strong with that but we did another under a motorway bridge in Wakefield called Finger In A Matchbox. It was just two parts under the M1. We got a rig under there, played one record and all of a sudden the wires were cut and the police were there with a roadblock.

So they were waiting for you?

Yes, this was before social media but the word had got out. What we had done was created a escape route. On a lot of motorway bridges there is a route from one side to another, like a hatch, and we had all these candles down there. When the police came we banged the turntables into these bags and legged it down this tunnel where we laid low for 4 or 5 hours, whilst everyone else on the other side of the bridge were getting arrested. When everybody left we got back down to the car and then fucked off.

The aftermath of Finger In A Matchbox.

How did The Orbit start?

There weren’t any raves in West Yorkshire, you always had to travel. There were the Guilderson parties but everything was really was elsewhere, Blackburn, down south, Stoke, or Liverpool’s Quadrant Park, places like that. When the Orbit came along it was like there is a club where you can listen to all your favourite music and it’s 10 miles away. First night going there, I think it was Grooverider and Evil Eddie Richards. It was wicked, there were all the people you went out with everywhere else all over the country but you could just go to this party and go back to peoples houses afterwards. With the illegal raves it was just service stations afterwards, wired with a little bag with a change of clothes because you had sweated that much and you would stay there till about 11am. People were getting flats around the Orbit around this time, so we could go to the Orbit and then afterwards go to someone's flat.

Sounds better than service stations.

Well the thing with service stations is everyone got banned once they started getting wise to where all these people were coming from. At the service station they would have a roof that came all the way down to floor level and people would climb up on them and start dancing like crazy fools. They started closing the stations so you could get some petrol but you couldn’t go in.

How did you get involved playing at the Orbit?

The Orbit got so popular that they opened another club, so they had Osset and they opened After Dark in Morley. Some of my mates knew the guys that were running the Orbit so I gave them a mixtape and they let me have a set. I can’t remember who else was playing, DJ Sy or something, it was the hardcore period with Grooverider, Fabio, etc, people dressing up mental with Persil boxes on their head. We didn’t know but in After Dark there were loads of these little rooms and me and my friend Nidge, who I had hooked up with wandered up into one on a Saturday night and there was a DJ playing in there. We were like, what’s this? Nobody's ever told us about this. So we told Sean who ran the club that we would like to DJ in the backroom instead. So they chucked out the guy who was in there and I would bring two massive speakers and amp from a friend and some decks and we started doing the back room at the Orbit. It was hardcore and techno in the main room and we would play house shit in the backroom. As the backroom started getting popular we moved up into another room at the top of the club. That is where we started playing the more purist techno sound, it wasn’t really a chillout room. Downstairs, you would be getting the hardcore shit and upstairs we were smashing out early techno like Underground Resistance and all the Belgian stuff.

After a period Sean had gotten unhappy with all the happy hardcore clientele. So he approached a few people, for example Dave Angel, saying they want to take the club in a more techno orientated field. They asked for a list of names from someone already on the scene. Dave gave them loads of names like Sven Vath, all the Harthouse guys, Jeff Mills, Tanith, IQ, Westbam, Marco Zaffarano, we’d start getting the American guys like Mike Dearborn, DJ Skull all the Toronto boys, like Hawtin would be on a Plus 8 night, John Acquaviva, Mark Gauge as Vapourspace. With the UK lot, we had Sims, Oliver Ho, Ruskin, Surgeon, British Murder Boys, Mills played there loads of times, Laurent Garnier, everybody who's still on the techno scene today. We also started doing Reflex stuff, so we had Aphex Twin playing live and even on his Soundcloud page there is a track he did for the Orbit. It was wicked, but not everyone got it...some crazy long haired ginger guy lying down on an Amiga computer with a TV screen, smashing out Didgeridoo and shit like that.

Orbit flyer from 1995.

We had Wishmountain (Matthew Herbert), who used get dressed up in a suit and mime along to his tracks. He’d get on top of the speakers and get a trumpet out of his suitcase and do a crazy live set with shitty harmonicas. He did one thing with radios where he just sampled little bits of radio recordings and make tracks with it, it was wicked but not everybody got it. A lot of people were quite straight with what they want; repetitiveness, kick drums. We had a full Reflex night once with DMX crew, Cylob, and Aphex Twin deejaying. That night turned into a riot with the crowd throwing shit at DMX, we switched off the music and he was shouting back offering out the crowd. The crowd thought it’s gonna be Aphex Twin, it’s gonna be the shit. When he came on at the end he was playing Drum n Bass + 8 style, and people were going crazy, booing. I talked to DMX about it later on and he was like man, that night, one of the worst nights ever. It’s a night that always sticks out, not that it was shit music, just that the crowd weren’t ready for it.

What was the vibe like in there?

Atmosphere wise I’ve never been to a club anywhere like Quadrant Park in Liverpool in the early 90’s. It’s totally electric, hairs up on the back of your arms, everyone just dancing with their hands in the air all night long. It was the same with the Orbit, I think it might have just been a Northern thing. The more north you get the more people party hard. If you ever went to the Arches in Scotland, more north, more nutty, more hardcore, more up for it, more party! I’ve always found London more subdued, not pretentious but just always a bit tame, the North's always had it for me.

Liverpools Quadrant Park.

How often were you playing there?

Every week we had the back room which was originally the foyer where you came into the club. There were a lot of nights where I missed the big guests because I loved playing in the back so much. We’d just turn up and be like let's have a hip hop night and play hip hop all night or be like let's have a electro night and just play electro all night. There was no control in that room, you could play whatever. You’d get your friends to come along and get them deejaying. It got to the point where people just wanted to come to play the backroom. You’d get people who played the back room and you’d see next to their name on flyers “The Orbit”,and they should have put in brackets “The Backroom”. A lot of close friends say it was always about the backroom for them as well. We used to come in there, all night sitting in the corner smoking reefers, listening to you play whatever basic channel till whenever. We did book people in the back room as well, we had the Orb, Fat Cat and we used to get these guys if Sven (Vaeth) did a night called Aural Float, really good electronic artists who did stuff on his label. The backroom was my Nirvana.

Did you ever play in the mainroom?

I didn’t really, although when one of the guys Nigel left, they asked me to play in there. Thing is I didn’t buy that much techno, I’d buy UR and Mills stuff and that but obviously working in the shop (Eastern Bloc) I had a massive run on promos. I got a name for being the guy getting asked what I’m playing and it’s some white label promo that I can’t even remember the name of. The main room was mad. It opened at 8pm because it finished at 2am. So you’d start the night with some electro, some dubby Basic Channel shit and then it would just fill up so at 21.00 and you’d have techno skinheads on the dancefloor going “Come on, Come on”. I’d be like fuck it, and stick something on with a kick drum and they’d all be like “Yeaaaaaaa”. You couldn’t really take it as a warm up, you couldn’t really progress. You could do a hour of what you wanted but then all of a sudden it would change gear because you had such a short period of going out. Nowadays you can go out for days but at that period in time you only had till 2am so people just wanted to go out and have it. That’s where I got my name, but it was never my thing. I was into it but what I was playing wasn’t my true love, if you know what I mean. The backroom was me, the backroom was about how I expressed myself in what I played, in the electro shit or the house shit. I love techno but I’ll always go back to house and if you came and saw my records it would be mostly house or old electro shit. I’ve got techno but a lot of the techno from the period of the Orbit I found it a bit throw-away. So when the Orbit finished I saw those records as just tools to pay the man and got rid of alot of them. I’ve had a few deejay jobs where I’ve just bought things, you do, you buy shit and years later I look at it like what is that shit and I’m sure there are records that I’ve got rid of and I’m thinking shit, that is £100, £200. It’s not the fact that I still like it, just that I sold that for 1p or job lots for 100 records for £100.

What sort of size were the rooms?

1200 capacity in the main room and on a busy night that would be full. The backroom was about 100. One of the problems with my room was that we didn’t even have proper speakers. I used to bring some little speakers every week in the back of the car, proper DIY style. I had to plead with the club to get some big speakers and when they finally got them, they just gave me a stack of gear and were like, there you go. I had to wire everything up and figure out crossovers myself. When I installed them it was the best thing ever. The club didn’t see the backroom as a financial thing until a bit later. Unfortunately the speakers didn’t last long, we rinsed them out and blew them up!

What happened to the Orbit?

It wound down because the minimal thing came along and people got into different things. The clientele were shrinking and the new audience weren’t going for the 135-140 BPM techno stuff. So in 2003 the Orbit closed. The last night we had Ruskin and Surgeon. We didn’t even announce it was going to close we just had the last night and it just ended, and that was it. 

Tell me about Player.

When the Orbit was still going it had a studio upstairs and Sean who ran the club was thinking about starting a label and asked us if we wanted to get involved. It was me, Jon Nuccle and Mike Humphries who put stuff out on a techno label called Red Seal, and another guy called Ignition Technician. It was just a little collective. We named each release Player 1,2,3 and so on, it was never about who had made each one. That was a hard thing to push because it had no identity, it was just a label. We just had some fun making tunes, cut and paste shit, sample whatever, just put it out. That mentality, just fun, no seriousness to it, we just wanted to do something different. We styled Player on UR 003 and just that UR way of doing things. We didn’t wear masks because we didn’t have press shots but the records were just a track, no info, maybe just a email address on it and that was the way if anybody would get in touch with us for licensing etc. A lot of people liked the Player stuff at the time. I think it was because it was different and we didn’t push the fact who we were. We were invited down to Radio 1 to do a mix by DJ Fergie. The thing with the Player stuff is it was fast but it still had that cheeky house vibe to it. One of the best ones was Ignition Technician did Player 3 that starts with the Jeru The Damaja bit from Playing Yourself. The first two releases had been kinda back-burners but when that came out, that just smashed the label into another level.

We did Player 8 called Zilcho which is one of my favourite Player records because it’s just a house cut-up of Rick James’ Give It To Me Baby, it’s a Beltram remix. We asked Joey to do a remix of Player 8 and he said you know what I’ve just done a version of that track (Give It To Me Baby) without even hearing yours, so he sent that back and we put it out. It was a lot of money, about £3000 for this remix but at the time the label was paying for itself and we all thought Joey Beltram was a god. Joey Beltram putting out a release on our label, you can’t get better than some stuff.

We did a remix for Billy Nasty but he never put it out, one of Gaetek old tracks. We did quite a few things that never got released. What happened was people heard certain tracks of ours and they wanted us to recreate it for their remix, but then we’d do a remix and it would be like this hip-hop, cut-up, pumped-up, big shearing 909 thing, and they’d be like we don’t really want that. They’d email back saying ‘we don’t like that’. Well, we’re not going to do another. We’ve just spent days doing that, that’s it. We’d just put it out ourselves, what you gonna do about it? We’re from Yorkshire and you’re from Italy or whatever. I think we fell out with some people. There were some stories going around that it was going to kick off if they came to play the Orbit. Not sure where it all came from but we had this backstory going on that we were all bad boys and that it would all kick off if you messed with the Player squad. Well it wasn’t true, we were just pussycats just putting out records.

What Happened To Player?

We had 28 releases as well as remix EPs, so about 35 releases in total. We were distributed through Intergroove, who were a massive distributor. As well as Beltram we had Adam Beyer, Mark Broom, Ben Sims all doing remixes for us and people like Derrick May and everybody playing it. The label for a while was massive, but it was that period you could sell shit, loads of records. People now press 300 records, back then we’d sell out of 1200-1500 copies in a week. Thing was with all these distribution companies everybody had these P+D deals, you never had pay any money out. You sent them your new tracks, they pressed it for you and then they recouped the costs back from your sales. But what happened was all these companies were taking on so many labels that they couldn’t recoup the costs back and then all these distros started going bankrupt. We started moving the label from distro to distro but they kept going bankrupt. We’d put a record out with one, it’d go bankrupt and we wouldn’t see any money, move to another, same thing. So we thought, we’re not putting anymore records out. The label finished in 2003 when the club shut.

Check out the Player Bandcamp where you can find vinyl, digital and merch.

Eastern Bloc Records former location on Oldham Street.

  How did you end up working at Eastern Bloc?

Eastern Bloc opened a shop in Leeds in 1995. This guy Pete Waterman wanted to make a little entity to rival HMV and he bought-out a lot of underground shops. He bought Flying, Scott and Scooby’s shop, Shindig up in Newcastle, Unity Records in Liverpool and he bought Eastern Bloc Records. I was originally just buying records. I used to visit Eastern Bloc in Manchester from the early 90s, once a month, wazin a full month’s wage and be skint until the next month. I’d say to Jon Berry who still runs Eastern Bloc now, “If you ever have a job going, I’ll pack my job in and I’ll come and do it any time” and so when the Leeds shop opened I was in there doing the House buying. Nidge who DJ’d at the Orbit did the techno buying.

That was the period when Relief had just kicked off, Ron Trent's Prescription records, all that shit, so musically wise it was amazing time. When deliveries would turn up it would be like ‘Have you heard this fucking Paul Johnson shit?’ or this new Chez Damier shit or this new thing on Strictly Rhythm, you would just be buzzin’. Now everything has been invented, and it’s a case of re-inventing things, just changing it, say slightly changing the production style of it, then there were still things to come, so when things turned up I’d be like, I’ve not heard this shit before, this is the future shit. Obviously the Dance Mania shit and some of the UK stuff like early Pepe Braddock coming out, people like Motorbass and the good French stuff, obviously Daft Punk coming out, when the Daft Punk Homework album came out I’d be like fuck me, I’d play the album in the backroom of the Orbit all night. Same with a lot of shit like Basement Jaxx, when they first dropped they were totally different to anything. It wasn’t ghetto but that Atlantic Jaxx shit they used to do with a dub influences with big wobbly sub bases. Man, I’ve got a crazy Bassment Jaxx collection, so big. Never got rid of them because I love that vibe. They're not very good these days, same with Daft Punk... but back in the day.

Mark in Eastern Bloc, Manchester December 2016. 

  UK garage also started arriving in the late 90’s. With UK garage there was a lot of shit and there was a lot of good shit. I used to be a quiet lover of it, just take the odd ones like all the Ice Cream stuff and Social Circles. Most people that worked in the shop hated it, but I think they hated it because of the clientele. There wasn’t really a garage scene in Manchester, that was always about London, so you’d have Garage Nation, Sun City, all these nights down there. You’d get countless bad boys rolling into the shop as we’d stock all the tape packs and do tickets for the events. Some were cool as fuck but a lot of bad people used to roll through the shop. It was one of the most hardcore environments to work in for a while, in a good way but also it could be in a bad way. We used to get a lot of garage nicked. You’d give piles to people on a busy saturday and you’d be like where has that pile gone! We also had threats of violence, threats of getting shot up. There was this time where some guy asked us to save some tickets for Garage Nation but they had accidently been sold. This guy is coming in going “do you know who I am, I’m gonna come back and shoot this place up, I’m gonna get my knife.” So he’s there threatening one of my mates in the shop whilst I’m on the phone to one of the promoters from Garage Nation asking if they can sort out some guest lists for the guy. I’m like to the guy chill I’ve got the guy from Garage Nation on the phone here you can have a word with him. We evaded some kick-off moments but it could have become quite hairy in the shop.

You can be a bit of a nobhead working in a record shop and I’m sure a lot of people thought that I was a nobhead working in a record shop. Thing is, working in a record shop it’s got a persona sometimes and when people come into the shop they know there is a persona so they act with a persona as well. It’s gets to that point where it’s just people trying to outsmart each other, “have you got this”, “have you got that”, “have you heard this shit”. Just because you work in a record shop doesn’t mean you hear everything. Someone will roll up and be like have you heard that, and you go no, then they would be like what do you mean you haven’t heard that. I ain’t heard but I’ll look into it. I could just say I’ve got 1000 records down there that you haven’t heard. In the record shop it’s like a mates thing, you become like this little gang, and you have private jokes with each other. You try not to get the customers wowed up but sometimes it used to happen. I’m not saying we were nasty, not nasty, but funny nasty, just banter. We had cheeky slogans and little one liners like “Have you had a taste bypass?” or “Did you leave your taste at home today?”. It was always banter, just tongue in cheek. Thing is after working in a record shop I really don’t like going in record shops anymore, just because I can’t handle that me being there. Phonica is one of the worst ones, I just want to go in and look at the records behind the counter and the guy in there is going “what you into mate” and I’m like “I’m just having a look mate”, I’ll say, “I’ll have that, that, that and that” and then he’s like “Are you sure you don’t want me to play you some more stuff?”. Even though they might be doing their job, pulling shit out for people and turning me onto something new. That is a good thing about working in a record shop, you always wanted to turn somebody on to something that you loved in the shop. Sometimes everybody in the shop would love something and then this guy would go “oh I don’t like it”, everyone would be like “what you talking about mate, it’s fucking brilliant, what's your problem.”

What is your show on KMAH?

It’s called WERD. With the show, KMAH were after different genres to cover and someone put my name forward for electro. I really like that kind of outlet, because it’s not about mixing records it’s about playing records. On some of my shows the flow works perfectly and the tracks aren’t even mixed together. I don’t even like talking on the radio, sometimes I’ll say hello. I usually get people writing me asking me the name of the records so I just put some voice overs telling people what they are. The show has been really good, like I say, it’s been a outlet for something that I don’t really get chance to play. As we were discussing before, electro is like the new techno, people over the last year have got more into the show than when it first started. When I was living in Berlin for a bit I was in the Record Loft and some guy overheard me talking to Ben Williams who used to work in there about KMAH and he came over and went “oh yeah KMAH that’s a fucking wicked radio have you heard that Mark Turner guy he plays some wicked electro”. I was like “oh yeah man it’s a good show”. I didn’t say like, that’s me. It was nice to hear some random guy who was into it. You know it’s not a massively listened to show compared to some others on the station but that doesn’t matter to me, so long as people appreciate it. Same with my soundcloud page. I don’t advertise the fact that I do mixes and shit. My friend Will (Arnaldo) will be like I’m going to share that mix for you. Obviously because he has a big following that opens it up and it gets some more people listening to it. With the DJ thing I’ve never really seen it as a career. I’m sure with the Orbit I could have pushed it and took it as proper career but I never did it for that reason. You know you meet people who are so focused on becoming this DJ and deejaying here and there. It puzzles me sometimes how much these people want to go down that path. I mean I’ve done it, I’ve travelled places and deejayed in other countries. I liked playing in the club but you’re basically by yourself, you’re not with your friends, you’ll be in a hotel room by yourself usually waiting another day for the plane to come and I was like I’m not into this shit. I’d rather work in a record shop and go to the club on weekend to play some tunes, just do that. I’d get people coming in the shop who you can see in their eyes the hunger was there, and I’d watch them develop into these career hungry deejays, but that were never my thing. People say I could have taken it that way, but it never interested me whatsoever. I’d rather just have a chilled life on the back-burner, just buying records and doing the odd mix here and there.

How big is your collection?

Thousands, thousands, thousands, thousands and thousands. I ain’t counted them. 10,000? 8,000? I don’t know. The thing is with record collections it doesn’t matter how big they are. Anyone can have a big collection, it’s about having the quality within that collection. You can buy a job lot of 10,000 records but it’s only gonna look good on your shelf. As soon as you start pulling things out and playing people shit it’s going to be 15 rachmaninoff albums. The records that I have kept I don’t have in any sort of order. People go “why don’t you have them in sections”, and I don’t, I just like doing it where you pull a record out and think “that’s a tune, I’ll just put that on”. When you pull it out maybe it’s not going to go physically, it’s not the correct BPM or anything, but that is me and that is my record collection. Maybe one day I will put it in order but, but maybe just favourite labels, that way i’ll know where to go to get them for example Dance Mania. That is one of those labels that I absolutely just adore. I’ve got a lot of Dance Mania records I have a thing where I buy one a week and if I miss a week then I have to buy two, and so on. If I went a month I’d have to buy 5.

Is that just dance mania?

Yes I’ve always got to buy a Dance Mania record a week.

How many do you have then?

Couple of hundred. I’m getting close but I don’t think I want all of them because some of them are forgettable. The crazy thing is the really expensive ones are not the best ones. It’s one of them labels, I know because I buy them, that it’s so overpriced for what it is. I like the fact they reissue them. It doesn’t piss me off if something gets reissued that I have already got because it’s another copy, I’ll buy the reissues because they are 7 quid. Some of them aren’t very good pressings, some of them are good pressing but just pulled off the original vinyl, which isn’t such a good pressing. That is the beauty of Dance Mania when you play it out, it’s raw shit. There is going to be a crackle, there might be a jump in the background there might be a “schrich-schrich-schrich” sound but that doesn’t really bother me. I just love Dance Mania. Same with Relief and all that Chicago vibe. I just like the ghetto vibe. I don’t know what it is, maybe it ties in with a working class background. I wont say I was under deprived but where I grew up it was a bit ghetto. I find it the same with garage and bassline, it’s music from the suburbs, it’s working class shit. You listen to that Chicago shit and you know it’s just kids of the street on their little tape decks and their cheap little 909. DJ funk and all them kinda guys, from the hoods or wherever. I just love the rawness. It’s not done on a Neve desk it’s done on a fucking Tascam 4 track tape recorder. I just love the raw shit but I also love the really expensive sounding Dance Mania, the older ones that sound more classy. Obviously it changed from being a hip house kinda label, Chicago house, nice vocal shit, then merged into this wo-down ghetto sound with Slugo and D-man. From the old classic shit to the newer stuff, I love it. I’d love to own them all but I won’t cry if I can’t get some overpriced anthems. Well it’s not even anthems, the crazy priced ones seem to be ones that they didn’t sell fuck all of so they probably just destroyed them and they are really bad pressed.

You mentioned before you’re working on some production stuff, run us through that.

I’ve been working on some stuff over the last few years, it’s only recently started taking shape. The style is just like my record collection. When I make music I don’t just switch the computer on and be like this is going to be a 4x4 track at 120 BPM. I’ll start with something, maybe a drum pattern and decide it’s not 120 so turn that into 110 BPM, so whatever comes from that. I’ve been working with a guy called Heinz Kammler in Rotterdam who’s originally from Greece. Hopefully something will come out in the next year but we’re in no rush to put stuff out. What we have been doing is timeless so if it comes out in 2 years time it’s still gonna sound fresh. When I play it to people they say, that’s different, people say it’s garagey but it’s, I dunno, you can’t blow trumpets about your own music. I make music and I think it’s ok but I’ll play it to someone and they think it’s brilliant. That’s the thing a lot of people when they make music they think it’s alright, then they send it to someone and that person things, wow this is the shit.

I’ve got a little ambient project as well called Ecodintun that’s more kinda soundtracky. I can’t really say what sort of style it is, it’s over processed, moody stuff. There is a track already out on soundcloud. It’s like a big 10 minute epic. One of my friends grandma died and he was really depressed, I did this music and was thinking this is really depressing but I sent it him anyway and he was like “oh man, that just uplifted me and made me feel loads better”, so I just put it out there. I’m just plodding away taking things easy. Music is my love number 1 but I’m not a producer. I’m a DJ / record collector or record collector / guy who plays records. I’ve never considered myself a DJ. I’m a guy who buys records and plays records to people. If 1 person appreciates something that I’ve played on a night then I’m happy. If the full crowd is appreciative then that’s even better. If I’ve changed someone's way about thinking about things musically or if I’ve turned them onto something new that is great. Miles out of Hate, he said to me once he came into the backroom of the Orbit and someone was mixing Basic Channel’s Phylyps Trak II with Kraftwerk’s Tour De France and he said from that night onward my music taste just changed. He asked if that was that Jon playing that and I was like, nah that was me. Just that little thing can change someone. It’s not boasting, but if you can steer someone towards something musical through your influence or turn them onto another route and then they have then taken that on to a career that it’s a very nice thing to think that you have influenced people, even if no one said thank you. If you were to die tomorrow it’s nice to think that you have influenced people and given something to the world, a bit philosophical but you know I don’t go out there for me to make money or be this trademark DJ, I just go out to play good music to people. I’m a music appreciator and I hope that people I play music to are appreciators. Sometimes you go to a night and people are there just to get smashed but there is a group of people there for the love of the music. A lot of people go out, it’s just a part of growing up. Might be at uni going out in a collective, or into this for so long it’s just a thing. Some people are like I’m into Dubstep then 2 years later you talk to them and they're into guitars or whatever, that was just a fad. You see with a lot of people, music is just a fad for them. There’s a lot of people as soon as they discover music that is it for the rest of their life.  Which is nice when you meet younger people and you talk to them and they have that same vibe what you had, 20 or what years ago. Buzzing about things or buzzing about old things coming up to you going like “aw man have you heard this shit by whatever” or old electro shit by Egyptian Lover, or anything like that and I’m like “yeah I’ve got it mate”, and they're like “brilliant”. There is nothing better than that.

To accompany the interview Mark has also mixed the latest Fruitcast, listen below.

  More from Mark:

WERD Show on KMAH

Soundcloud

Mixcloud

I know your blog is mostly byers-focused but, what are your theories and predictions regarding the other characters for season 3?

Oh ho ho. I have some ideas.

Lucas

#1 want, Lucas to be action boy. Caleb is super athletic and we’ve already seen Lucas taking some risks and taking names. He could be the Hopper of the party as I always say. I want to see him get his first weapon upgrade from a wrist rocket to a real weapon. I want a scene similar to season 1 where Lucas stands between the monster and his friends to defend them (before El takes over), except, Lucas wins. Give it to meeee

I’m curious and worried about what they’re going to do with his sister, but in the end I don’t mind. I just don’t want her to be all jokes. You see, family relationships are my favorite. I’d love to see some real sibling stuff going on here. Maybe Erica is even more badass than her big brother and she gets the real weapon.

(I also want to see more Lucas and Will. They share a special hug every season, they BETTER KEEP THAT UP)

Mike

I actually don’t have TOO many thoughts on Mike except maybe some interesting exchanges with Lucas. You see, I’ve been meaning to write a post about it elsewhere, but Lucas and Mike are very similar. They’re both leaders kind of fighting for dominance. 

In season 1, Mike insisted El join the party while Lucas insisted she not as they should be focused on Will. In season 2, Lucas was trying to bring in fresh blood into the party despite what Mike might think in the end (though at first that line of thinking is spurred on by Dustin who immediately back tracks knowing Mike would be against it)

I don’t want to see Mike and Lucas fight exactly, but I wouldn’t mind seeing a clash of the titans play out again.

I also want way more Wheeler sibling action. Not only are Mike and Lucas similar, but Nancy and Mike are too. Nancy and Mike are like the “leaders” of their respective Party (Mike of the kids, Nancy of the teens). I watched S1 and S2 back to back, but I was very surprised that Nancy and Mike didn’t connect at all over losing people close to them. 

Nancy and Mike are the planners, they can add up all the details and come out with a conclusion and the next step to take. I’d like to see them put together the big plan for next season.

Dustin

I’m not sure on where Dustin is headed yet. I do hope he gets a hair cut. Pfft. I have a feeling it might revolve around Dustin getting a girl or something… but I am completely uninterested in that. Sorry Dusty. 

I am always curious to see how two very different people influence each other, in this case, I mean Steve and Dustin. Steve tried to give Dustin all this love advice last season and it was all terrible terrible advice. Maybe this season, Dustin is the love guru. Imagine a 14 year old teaching you how to be chill.

Max

I am very interested in where Max goes from here. I think the Max we saw in season 2 is not Max’s true self. The real Max is probably a lot more outgoing and cheerful while keeping her snarky sassy ways. The true Max probably went into hiding because of her family situation, but now that she has true friends, I want to see her open up. 

It seems like Max and El are gonna become great friends and Max seemed REALLY eager to get to know and understand her. I can totally see Max not exactly as a mentor… but someone legitimately interested in seeing the kind of person El will become. 

Imagine a scene where Max lays out some clothes of all different kinds (punk, rock, goth, flowery, girly, tom boyish, etc) and she just let’s El choose what she likes and Max does everything she can to show El more of that. So far, we’ve had two montages of El getting a makeover, but it was other people dressing her. It’d be cool if El kind of dresses herself with just a little help.

Nancy

Obviously Nancy and Jonathan’s plots are gonna be super intertwined this season. Like I mentioned in Mike’s section, I want to see Nancy start gathering all these clues no one quite picks up on and then combined with her little brother, they come up with all the answers and the ultimate plan.

I really want to see some smaller things too, like Nancy trying to discuss what they’re gonna do about college. I don’t want to see Jonathan and Nancy fight over this of course, but I’d love to see some disagreements about where their future is going education wise. Nancy seems to really care about that stuff and Jonathan seems to have given up on it? Maybe she’ll be the one to push him to do something for himself for once. 

AND I’M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO HER INTERACTING WITH THE KIDS (especially Will, surprise surprise). Noah said he ships Jancy and Will and Nancy seem like they’d have such cute interactions

Another thing, not only is Nancy the Mike of the Teens, imo, she’s also the Hopper in more ways than once. I also want to see more action lady Nancy. Maybe she teaches Lucas how to wield a gun. I dunno

Steve

I am still on the cop Steve train. I’ve seen plenty of arguments for and against and here are my reasons for being for it. Right now, Steve is working in a freakin’ ice cream shop doing nothing really. He looks miserable. 

I don’t think becoming a cop is even on his mind. Maybe in any other town or any other time period, Steve being a cop is simply unimaginable. 

But this isn’t any old town or any time period. It’s Hawkins, Indiana in the 80′s where NO ONE else in the police department can fully help Hopper investigate weird shit. Now it seems like Hopper will have the help of Jonathan and Nancy in the investigation part, but still, his deputies are useless. 

I think it’s within Steve’s nature to suck it up and help people. Even when he’s scared, he’ll do it because he is a good person despite some of his toxic behavior in the past. 

Steve becoming a cop is something I feel like he’d stumble into completely by accident. Maybe Steve accidentally gets wrapped into the plot with the adults this season and Hopper suggests helping him out at the police station now and then is better than being an ice cream man in the mall (a mall which I think is gonna get completely destroyed).

Karen

I’m so worried about Karen. I want the oblivious but nosy mom Karen back please. Not sure what’s gonna happen with her marriage with Ted, but I wouldn’t mind a scene of her telling him off once and for all. 

Hopper

I guess I’ll include Hopper here? Hopper Hopper Hopper. I think this man is gonna mostly revert back to being a total dad. Dad jokes. Dad laughs. Dad frowning in disapproval. 

Ah, but at the first spark of trouble, protective “Don’t mess with Jim” Hopper comes back and he’s full on ready to punch people in the face again. I saw a picture where it looked like Hopper got beat up so….

I’VE BEEN DEBATING ON WHETHER HE’LL BE TRYING TO MAKE MOVES ON JOYCE, but I don’t know if he will???? He’s probably perfectly content with how things are at the moment (their families are close and no more secrets between them), but would he really leave things as they were? Maybe it’s Joyce that has to make the first move, but she seems too scared to take that dive, like something from their past is holding her back. 

I want to see protective Hopper protecting his new family because I’m a sap

That’s about it, I guess not so much predictions as to where I’d like to see their characters going. They say this is the season of love and yet… the only love I ever think about is between Hopper and Joyce. So I dunno, I can’t speculate on that.

I won’t speculate too much on the new characters either. Don’t know WHEN I’ll speculate about them since I claim I’m not gonna watch trailers. Lololol

INT. KOROVA MILKBAR NIGHT Tables, chairs made of nude fibreglass figures. Hypnotic atmosphere. Alex, Pete, Georgie and Dim, teenagers stoned on their milk-plus, their feet resting on faces, crotches, lips of the sculptured furniture. ALEX (V.O.) There was me, that is Alex, and my three droogs, that is Pete, Georgie and Dim and we sat in the Korova milkbar trying to make up our rassoodocks what to do with the evening. The Korova Milk Bar sold milkplus, milk plus vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom which is what we were drinking. This would sharpen you up and make you ready for a bit of the old ultra-violence. Our pockets were full of money so there was no need on that score, but, as they say, money isn't everything. INT. PEDESTRIAN UNDERPASS TUNNEL ó NIGHT A Tramp lying in tunnel, singing. TRAMP In Dublin's fair city Where the girls are so pretty I first set my eyes on sweet Molly Malone As she wheeled her wheelbarrow Through streets wide and narrow... Shadows of the boys approaching fall across Tramp. TRAMP Crying cockless and mussels alive, Alive O... Alive, alive O... Alive, alive O... Crying cockless and mussels alive, Alive O... ALEX (V.O.) One thing I could never stand is to see a filthy, dirty old drunkie, howling away at the filthy songs of his fathers and going blerp, blerp in between as it might be a filthy old orchestra in his stinking rotten guts. I could never stand to see anyone like that, whatever his age might be, but more especially when he was real old like this one was. The boys stop and applaud him. TRAMP Can you... can you spare some cutter, me brothers? Alex rams his stick into the Tramp's stomach. The boys laugh. TRAMP Oh-hhh!!! Go on, do me in you bastard cowards. I don't want to live anyway, not in a stinking world like this. ALEX Oh ó and what's so stinking about it? TRAMP It's a stinking world because there's no law and order any more. It's a stinking world because it lets the young get onto the old like you done. It's no world for an old man any more. What sort of a world is it at all? Men on the moon and men spinning around the earth and there's not no attention paid to earthly law and order no more. The Tramp starts singing again. TRAMP Oh dear land, I fought for thee and brought you peace and victory. Alex and gang move in and start beating up on old Tramp. INT. DERELICT CASINO ó NIGHT Billyboy gang on stage tearing clothes off a screaming Girl. ALEX (V.O.) It was around by the derelict casino that we came across Billyboy and his four droogs. They were getting ready to perform a little of the old in-out, in-out on a weepy young devotchka they had there. Alex and gang step out of the shadows. ALEX Ho, Ho, Ho... Well, if it isn't stinking Billygoat Billyboy in poison. How are thou, thou globby bottle of cheap stinking chip oil? Come and get one in the yarbles, if you have any yarbles, you eunuch jelly thou. Billyboy snaps open a switchblade knife. BILLY BOY Let's get 'em boys. The fight begins, chains, knives, kicking boots. Police siren. ALEX The Police... come on, let's go... come on. Alex and the boys rush out of casino. EXT. / INT. CAR ó NIGHT ó FAST DRIVING SHOTS Swerving car, forcing other cars off the road, trying to hit pedestrians, etc. ALEX (V.O.) The Durango-95 purred away real horrorshow ó a nice, warm vibraty feeling all through your guttiwuts. Soon it was trees and dark, my brothers, with real country dark. We fillied around for a while with other travelers of the night, playing hogs of the road. Then we headed west, what we were after now was the old surprise visit, that was a real kick and good for laughs and lashing of the ultra-violent. EXT. "HOME" ó NIGHT A cottage on its own, on outskirts of a village. Bright moonlight. Cheery light inside. Car pulls to stop. Alex shushes his giggling boys and gets out of the car. INT. "HOME" ó NIGHT Mr. Alexander typing. Bell rings. MR. ALEXANDER Who on earth could that be? MRS. ALEXANDER I'll see. Mrs. Alexander, a good-looking red head in a red jumper suit. MRS. ALEXANDER Yes? Who is it? ALEX Excuse me, Mrs... will you please help, there's been a terrible accident. She opens the door on the chain and peeps out. ALEX My friend's lying in the middle of the road bleeding to death. Could I please use your telephone for an ambulance? MRS. ALEXANDER I'm sorry, but we don't have a telephone. You'll have to go somewhere else. ALEX But Mrs... it's a matter of life and death. From inside the sound of clack clacky clack clack clackity clackclack of Alexander typing stops. MR. ALEXANDER Who is it, dear? MRS. ALEXANDER There's a young man here. He says there's been an accident. He wants to use the telephone. MR. ALEXANDER Then you'd better let him in. MRS. ALEXANDER Wait a minute. ALEX Thank you, Mrs. Mrs. Alexander opens door, saying... MRS. ALEXANDER I'm sorry, we don't usually let people in the middle of the night. Alex and boys have put on their masks and rush into house, carrying and dragging Mrs. Alexander along with them. INT. HOME ó NIGHT They go roaring in. Mr. Alexander is kicked in the face and goes down. Georgie leaps on him. Pete jumps up and down and the settee. Dim grabs hold of Mrs. Alexander. Alex whistles piercingly. ALEX Right, Pete. Check the rest of the house. Alex turns to Dim who holds the struggling Mrs. Alexander. ALEX Dim... Dim sets her down but holds her firmly. Alex starts to sing ó "Singin' in the Rain", accompanying it with a kind of tap dance. ALEX (singing) I'm singing in the rain... He kicks Mr. Alexander accenting the lyrics. ALEX (singing) Just singing in the rain... He clubs Mr. Alexander with stick, in the time to the music. ALEX (singing) What a glorious feeling, I'm happy again. He pushes a rubber ball into Mrs. Alexander's mouth and binds it with sellotape. ALEX (singing) I'm laughing at clouds so dark up above. The sun's in my heart and I'm ready for love. Let the stormy clouds chase... He kicks Mr. Alexander again. ALEX (singing) ... everyone from the place. Come on with the rain... He puts ball in Mr. Alexander's mouth and sellotapes it. ALEX (singing) ... I've a smile on my face. I'll walk down the lane... to a happy refrain. I'm singing... just singin' in the rain. He knocks down the book cases and moves to Mrs. Alexander being held by Dim. Starts to repeat on song as he cuts slowly up each leg of her cat suit, until she is naked. This coincidences with the song finishing. He turns to Mr. Alexander. ALEX Viddy well, my little Brother. Viddy well. INT. KOROVA MILKBAR ó NIGHT The boys enter yawning.. ALEX (V.O.) We were all feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed, it having been an evening of some small energy expenditure, O my brothers, so we got rid of the auto and stopped off at the Korova for a nightcap. Dim moves over to milk machine and speaks to the statue of the nude girl. DIM Hello Lucy, had a busy night? Puts money in machine. DIM We've been working hard too. Takes glass. DIM Pardon me. Luce. He raises glass to breast, pulls red handle between her legs. Milk spurts into glass. Dim joins the others. Alex looks at a party of tourists. ALEX (V.O.) There was some sophistos from the TV studios around the corner, laughing an govoreeting. The Devotchka was smecking away, and not caring about the wicked world one bit. Then the disc on the stereo twanged off and out, and in the short silence before the next one came on, she suddenly came with a burst of singing, and it was like for a moment, O my brothers, some great bird had flown into the milkbar and I felt all the malenky little hairs on my plott standing endwise, and the shivers crawling up like slow malenky lizards and then down again. Because I knew what she sang. It was a bit from the glorious 9th, by Ludwig van. Dim makes a lip-trump followed by a dog howl, followed by two fingers pronging twice in the air, followed by a clowny guffaw. Alex brings his stick down smartly on Dim's legs. DIM What did you do that for? ALEX For being a bastard with no manners and not a dook of an idea how to comport yourself publicwise, O my Brother. DIM I don't like you should do what you done. And I'm not your brother no more and wouldn't want to be. ALEX Watch that... Do watch that, O Dim, if to continue to be on live thou dost wish. DIM Yarbles, great bolshy yarblockos to you I'll meet you with chain, or nozh or britva, any time, not having you aiming tolchocks at me reasonless. It stands to reason, I won't have it. ALEX A nozh scrap any time you say. Dim weakens. DIM Doobidoob... a bit tired maybe, everybody is. A long night for growing malchicks... best not to say more. Bedways is rigthways now, so best we go homeways and get a bit of spatchka. Right, right. INT. ALEX'S FLATBLOCK ó MAIN LOBBY ENTRANCE ó NIGHT Alex passes a mural in the hall. Nude men and women. Their massive stylised bodies embellished and decorated by handy pencil and ballpoint. The elevator door is buckled. INT. ALEX'S FLAT ó NIGHT Alex pees in toilet. Alex goes into his room. Tosses his loot into a drawer, full of money, wristwatches, cameras, etc. Fifty small loudspeakers cover one wall. He puts his pet boa constrictor on tree branch mounted on the wall, above four Christ figures who have their arms intertwined like a chorus line. He puts a cassette into the tape player. A heavy shockwave of sound ó Beethoven's 9th. ALEX (V.O.) It had been a wonderful evening and what I needed now to give it the perfect ending was a bit of the old Ludwig van. Music starts. ALEX (V.O.) Then, brothers, it came. O bliss, bliss and heaven, oh it was gorgeousness and georgeosity made flesh. The trombones crunched redgold under my bed, and behind my gulliver the trumpets three-wise, silver-flamed and there by the door the timps rolling through my guts and out again, crunched like candy thunder. It was like a bird of rarest spun heaven metal or like silvery wine flowing in a space ship, gravity all nonsense now. As I slooshied, I knew such lovely pictures. There were veeks and ptitsas laying on the ground screaming for mercy and I was smecking all over my rot and grinding my boot into their tortured litsos and there were naked devotchkas ripped and creeching against walls and I plunging like a shlaga into them. INT. ALEX'S FLAT ó DAY He is asleep. The boa curled up at his feet. There is a knock on the door. ALEX What d'you want? EM It's past eight, Alex, you don't want to be late for school, son. ALEX Bit of pain in the gulliver, Mum. Leave us be and I'll try to sleep it off... then I'll be as right as dodgers for this after. EM You've not been to school all week, son. ALEX I've got to rest, Mum... got to get fit, otherwise I'm liable to miss a lot more school. EM Eeee... I'll put your breakfast in the oven. I've got to be off myself now. ALEX Alright, Mum... have a nice day at the factory. INT. KITCHEN ó DAY Pee sitting at breakfast table. Em enters. EM He's not feeling too good again this morning, Dad. PEE Yes, I heard. D'you know what time he got in last night? EM No I don't know, luv, I'd taken my sleepers. PEE I wonder where exactly is it he goes to work of evenings. EM Well, like he says, it's mostly odd things he does, helping like... here and there, as it might be. INT. EM'S BEDROOM ó DAY Alex comes out of his room and finds P.R. Deltoid sitting on bed in parent's room. ALEX Hi, hi, hi there, Mr. Deltoid, funny surprise to see you here. DELTOID Ah, Alex boy, awake at last, yes? I met your mother on the way to work, yes? She gave me the key. She said something about a pain somewhere... hence not at school , yes? ALEX A rather intolerable pain in the head, brother, sir. I think it should be clear by this afterlunch. DELTOID Oh, or certainly by this evening, yes? The evening's a great time, isn't it, Alex boy? ALEX A cup of the old chai, sir? DELTOID No time, no time, yes. Sit, sit, sit. Alex sits next to him. ALEX To what do I owe this extreme pleasure, sir? Anything wrong, sir? Deltoid "playfully" grabs Alex's hair. DELTOID Wrong? Why should you think of anything being wrong, have you been doing something you shouldn't. Yes? He shakes Alex's hair. ALEX Just a manner of speech, sir. DELTOID Well, yes, it's just a manner of speech from your Post Corrective Advisor to you that you watch out, little Alex. He puts his arm round Alex's shoulder. DELTOID Because next time it's going to be the barry place and all my work ruined. If you've no respect for your horrible self, you at least might have some for me who'se sweated over you. He slaps Alex on the knee. DELTOID A big black mark I tell you for every one we don't reclaim. A confession of failure for every one of you who ends up in the stripy hole. ALEX I've been doing nothing I shouldn't, sir. The millicents have nothing on me, brother, sir, I mean. Deltoid pulls Alex down on the bed. DELTOID Cut out all this clever talk about milicents. Just because the Police haven't picked you up lately doesn't, as you very well know, mean that you've not been up to some nastiness. There was a bit of a nastiness last night, yes. Some very extreme nastiness, yes. A few of a certain Billyboy's friends were ambluenced off late last night, yes. Your name was mentioned, the word's got thru to me by the usual channels. Certain friends of yours were named also. Oh, nobody can prove anything about anybody as usual, but I'm warning you, little Alex, being a good friend to you as always, the one man in this sore and sick community who wants to save you from yourself. Deltoid makes a grab for Alex's joint but finds his hand instead. Alex laughs. Derisively and rises. Deltoid distractedly reaches for a glass of water on the night table, and fails to notice a set of false teeth soaking in them. He drinks from the glass. The clink of the teeth sounding like ice-cubes. DELTOID What gets into you all? We study the problem. We've been studying it for damn well near a century, yes, but we get no further with our studies. You've got a good home here, good loving parents, you've got not too bad of a brain. Is it some devil that crawls inside of you? ALEX Nobody's got anything on me, brother, sir. I've been out of the rookers of the milicents for a long time now. DELTOID That's just worries me. A bit too long to long to be reasonable. You're about due now by my reckoning, that's why I'm warning you, little Alex, to keep your handsome young proboscis out of the dirt. Do I make myself clear? ALEX As an unmuddied lake, sir. Clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, sir. Deltoid drinks again but this time sees the teeth in the glass. He groans and retches. INT. MUSIC BOOTICK ó DAY Alex enters. Two pretty micro-boppers, Marty and Sonietta, sucking phallic ice sticks. ALEX Pardon me, brother. I ordered this two weeks ago. Could you see if it's arrived. CLERK OK. I'll see if it's in. Clerk exits. Alex turns to the girls. ALEX Pardon me, ladies He steps in between them and goes through the motions, looking through. ALEX Enjoying it then, my darling?... A bit cold and pointless isn't it, my lovely... What's happened to yours, my little sister? Marty giggles. MARTY Who you getten bratty, Goggly Gogol? Johnny Zhivago? The Heaven Seventeen? ALEX What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on? I bet you got little save pitiful portable picnic players. Come with Uncle and hear all proper. Hear angel trumpets and devil trombones. You are invited. INT. ALEX'S BEDROOM ó DAY The two girls, naked, jumping up and down on Alex's still unmade bed zonked by the booming, all engulfing sound of Alex's incredible Hi-Fi. INT. ALEX'S FLATBLOCK ó LOBBY HALL ó DAY Alex finds the gang waiting for him. ALEX Hi, hi, hi, there ALL THREE Well, hello. DIM He are here! He have arrived! Hooray! ALEX Welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, welly, well. To what do I owe the extreme pleasure of this surprising visit? Georgie rises. GEORGIE We got worried. There we were waiting and drinking away at the old knify Moloko and you had not turned up and we thought you might have been like offended by something or other, so around we come to your abode. ALEX Appy polly loggies. I had something of a pain in the gulliver so had to sleep. I was not awakened when I gave orders for awakening. DIM Sorry about the pain. Using the gulliver to much like, eh? Giving orders and disciplining and that perhaps, eh? You sure the pain's gone? You sure you'll not be happier back up in bed. ALEX Lets get things nice and sparkling clear. This sarcasm, if I may call it such, does not become you, O my brothers. As I am your droog and leader, I am entitled to know what goes on, eh? Now then, Dim, what does that great big horsy gape of a grin portend? GEORGIE All right, no more picking on Dim, brother. That's part of the new way. ALEX New way? What's this about a new way? There's been some very large talk behind my sleeping back, and no error. Let me hear more. GEORGIE Well, we go round shop crasting and the like, coming out with a pitiful rookerful of money each. DIM Pitiful rookerful... GEORGIE And there's Will the English in the Muscleman coffee mesto saying he can fence anything that anything that any malchick tries to crast. DIM Yeah... Pete the English. GEORGIE The shiny stuff. The Ice. The big, big, big money is available's what Will the English says. DIM Big, big money. ALEX And what will you do with the big, big, money? Have you not everything you need? If you need a motor-car, you pluck it from the trees. If you need pretty polly, you take it. GEORGIE Brother, you think and talk sometimes like a little child. Tonight we pull a mansize crast. ALEX Good. Real horrorshow. Initiative comes to them as waits. I've taught you much, my little droogies. Now tell me what you have in mind, Georgie Boy. GEORGIE Oh, the old moloko-plus first, would you not say DIM Moloko-plus. GEORGIE Something to sharpen us up, you especially. We have the start. EXT. FLATBLOCK MARINE ó DAY The gang come out of the flatblock and walk along the marina. ALEX (V.O.) As we walked along the flatblock marina, I was calm on the outside but thinking all the time, so now it was to be Georgie the General, saying what we should do and what not to do, and Dim as his mindless, grinning bulldog. But, suddenly, I viddied that thinking was for the gloopy ones and that the oomny ones use like inspiration and what Bog sends, for now it was lovely music that came to my aid and I viddied at once what to do. There was a window open with the stereo on. IN SLOW MOTION Alex clubs Georgie into water with his stick. Dim swings chain. Alex ducks. Dim goes into water. Alex kneels, hands behind back, takes knife from sword stick, offers hand to help Dim, and slashes Dim when he gets it. Dim falls back into the water. Alex laughs. INT. DUKE OF NEW YORK PUB The four boys sit round table. ALEX (V.O.) I had not put into any of Dim's main cables and so, with the help of a clean tashtook, the red, red kroovy stopped, and it did not take long to quieten the two wounded soldiers, down in the snug in the Duke of New York. Now they knew who was Master and Leader. Sheep, thought I, but a real leader knows always when like to give and show generous to his unders. ALEX Well, now we're back to where we were. Yes? Just like before and all forgotten? Right, right, right. ALL BOYS Right. Right. Right. ALEX Well, Georgie Boy. This idea you've got for tonight. Well, tell us all about it then. GEORGIE Not tonight ó not this nochy. ALEX Come, come, come, Georgie Boy. You're a big strong chelloveck like us all. We're not little children, are we, Georgie Boy? What, then, didst thou in thy mind have? Confrontation. Georgie backs down. GEORGIE It's this Health Farm. A bit out of the town. Isolated. It's owned by this like very rich ptitsa who lives there with her cats. The place is shut down for a week and she's completely on her own, and it's full up with like gold and silver and like jewels. ALEX Tell me more, Georgie Boy. INT. CATLADY'S HOUSE Catlady doing yoga exercises. Room is full of cats. Doorbell rings. CATLADY (softly to herself) Oh shit. She goes to the door. EXT. CATLADY'S HOUSE CATLADY Who's there? ALEX Excuse me, missus, can you please help? There's been a terrible accident. Can I please use your telephone for an ambulance? CATLADY I'm frightfully sorry. There is a telephone in the Public House about a mile down the road. I suggest you use that. ALEX But, missus, this is an emergency. It's a matter of life and death. Me friend's lying in the middle of the road bleeding to death. CATLADY I... I'm very sorry, but I never open. I'm very sorry but I never open the door to strangers after dark. ALEX Very well, madam. I suppose you can't be blamed for being suspicious with so many scoundrels and rouges of the night about. Alex walks away from door, then ducks into the bushes where the others are hiding. They put on their maskies and follow Alex round to the rear of the house. ALEX Dim, bend down. (Alex points to an upstairs window) I'm gonna get in that window and open the front door. He climbs up drain-pipe to the bathroom window. INT. CADLADY'S HOUSE The Catlady enters and dials a number. CATLADY Hullo, Radlett Police Station. Good evening. It's Miss Weathers at Woodmere Health Farm. Look, I'm frightfully sorry to bother you but something rather odd has just happened... Well, it's probably nothing at all, but you never know... Well, a young man rang the bell asking to use the telephone... He said there had been some kind of accident. The thing that caught my attention was what he said ó the words he used, sounded exactly like what was quoted in the papers this morning in connection with the writer and his wife who were assaulted last night... Well, just a few minutes ago... Well, if you think that's necessary, but, well, I'm quite sure he's gone away now. Oh... alright. Fine. Thank you very much. Thank you. She puts phone down, turns and nearly jumps out of her leotard when she sees Alex in the doorway. ALEX Hi, hi, hi there, at last we meet. CATLADY What the bloody hell d'you think you're doing? ALEX Our brief govereet thru the letter hole was not, shall we say, satisfactory, yes? CATLADY Now listen here, you little bastard, just you turn around and walk out of here the same way as you came in. Alex eyes a giant white, fibreglass phallic sculpture on the table beside him. ALEX Naughty, naughty, naughty, you filthy old soomaka. CATLADY No! No! Don't touch it. That's a very important work of art. What the bloody hell do you want? ALEX You see, madam, I am part of an international student's contest to see who can get the most points for selling magazines. CATLADY Cut the shit, sonny, and get out of here before you get yourself in some very serious trouble. He rocks the giant phallus which has a special weight swinging inside causing it to swing up and down an eccentric motion. CATLADY I told you to leave it alone. Now get out of here before I throw you out, wretched slummy bedbug. I'll teach you breaking into real people's houses. Get out! She grabs up a bust of Beethoven and rushes at Alex. He grabs the giant phallic sculpture. Circling, Alex fends off her mad rushes with skilful jabs of the giant phallus. She ducks under and clobbers him with the heavy bust of Beethoven. He goes down, pulling her off balance and they both wind up the floor. In the struggle, Alex bashes her with the phallus. Distant Police sirens. He exits. EXT. CATLDAY'S HOUSE ó NIGHT Alex rushes out. Dim and the others are waiting. ALEX Come on. Let's go, the police are coming. DIM One minoota, droogie. Dim smashes Alex in the face with a full milk bottle. He goes down. The others run away, laughing. ALEX (screaming) You bastards... bastards. INT. POLICE HQ ó NIGHT Inspector takes out cigarette and lights up. INSPECTOR Right. Right , Tom, we'll have to our little friend, Alex, here that we know the law, too, but that knowing the law isn't everything. He nods to Fatneck. FATNECK That's a nasty cut you've got there, little Alex. Spoils... all your beauty. Who gave you that then... eh... eh... He presses Alex's nose, inflicting great pain. Alex sinks to his knees. ALEX Ow... what's that for, you bastard? FATNECK That was for your lady victim. You ghastly wretched scoundrel. Alex grabs his balls. Alex is beaten by the other Cop. Inspector exits to outside office where Sergeant sits, sipping a cup of tea. Deltoid has just entered. INSPECTOR Sergeant. SERGEANT Sir. INSPECTOR Ah, good evening, Mr. Deltoid. DELTOID Evening, Inspector. SERGEANT Would you like your tea now, sir? INSPECTOR No, thank you, Sergeant. We'll have it later. May I have some paper towels, please. SERGEANT Yes, sir. INSPECTOR We're interrogating the prisoner now. Perhaps you'd care to come inside. DELTOID Thank you very much They move into Interrogation Room. Alex is on the floor in the corner covered with blood. DELTOID Evening, Sergeant. Evening, all. Dear, dear, this boy does look a mess, doesn't he? Just look at the state of him. FATNECK Love's young nightmare like. INSPECTOR Violence makes violence. He resisted his lawful arrestors. DELTOID Well, it's happened, Alex boy, yes. Just as I thought it would, yes. Dear, dear, dear. Well, this is the end of the line for me... the end of the line, yes. ALEX It wasn't me, brother, sir. Speak up for me, sir, for I'm not so bad. I was led on by the treachery of others, sir. INSPECTOR Sings the roof off lovely, he does that. ALEX And where are my stinking traitorous droogs. Get them before the get away. It was all their idea, brothers. They forced me to do it. I'm innocent. DELTOID You are now a murderer, little Alex. A murderer, yes. ALEX Not true, sir. It was only a slight tolchock. She was breathing, I swear it. DELTOID I've just come back from the hospital. Your victim has died. ALEX You try to frighten me, sir, admit so, sir. This is some new form of torture. Say it, brother, sir. DELTOID It will be your own torture. I hope to God it will torture you to madness. FATNECK If you'd care to give him a bash in the chops, sir. Don't mind us. We'll hold him down. He must be a great disappointment to you, sir. Deltoid spits in Alex's face. HELICOPTER VIEWS OF PRISON ALEX (V.O.) This is the real weepy and like tragic part of the story beginning, O my brothers and only friends. After a trial with judges and a jury, and some very hard words spoken against your friend and humble narrator, he was sentenced to 14 years in Staja No. 84F among smelly perverts and hardened prestoopnicks, the shock sending my dadda beating his bruised and kroovy rookas against unfair Bog in his Heaven, and my mom, boohoohooing in her mother's grief as her only child and son of her bosom, like letting everybody down real horrorshow. INT. PRISON CHECK-IN ROOM ó DAY A bell rings and a Warder goes and unlocks first a wooden door and then a barred door. GUARD Morning. One up from Thames, Mister. WARDER One in from Thames, sir. CHIEF GUARD Right. Open up, Mister. WARDER Yes, sir. He opens door and steps back. Alex and another Warden move to Reception desk. WARDER Good morning, sir. Committal sheet. CHIEF GUARD (who shouts everything) Thank you, Mister. He signs sheet. GUARD Name? ALEX Alexander de Large. CHIEF GUARD You are now in H.M. Prison Parkmoor and from this moment you will address all prison officers as sir! Name? ALEX Alexander de Large, sir. CHIEF GUARD Crime? ALEX Murder, sir. CHIEF GUARD Right. Take the cuffs off him, Mister. The cuffs are removed. CHIEF GUARD You are now 655321 and it is your duty to memorise that number. He hands clipboard back to Warder. CHIEF GUARD Thank you Mister. Well done. WARDER Thank you, chief. CHIEF GUARD Let the officer out. Officer exits. CHIEF GUARD Right. Empty your pockets! Alex moves to desk and leans forward. CHIEF GUARD Are you able to see that white line painted on the floor directly behind you, 655321? ALEX Yes, sir. CHIEF GUARD Then your toes belong on the other side of it!!! ALEX Yes sir. CHIEF GUARD Right carry on. Alex tosses a bar of chocolate on the desk. CHIEF GUARD Pick that up and put it down properly. Alex does so, and continues to empty his pockets. CHIEF GUARD One half bar of chocolate. One bunch of keys on white metal ring. One packet of cigarettes. Two plastic ball pens ó one black, one red. One pocket comb ó black plastic. One address book ó imitation red leather. One ten penny piece. One white metal wristlet watch, "Timawrist" on a white metal expanding bracelet. Anything else in your pockets? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Right. Sign here for your valuable property. Alex signs. CHIEF GUARD The chocolate and cigarettes you brought in ó you lose that as you are now convicted. Now go over to the table and get undressed. Alex walks to table and undresses. Chief Guard moves to table with his clipboard. CHIEF GUARD Now then, were you in Police custody this morning? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One jacket ó blue pinstripe. CHIEF GUARD Prison custody? ALEX Yes, sir On remand, sir. CHECK-IN One neck tie ó blue. CHIEF GUARD Religion? ALEX C of E, sir. CHIEF GUARD Do you mean Church of England? ALEX Yes, sir, Church of England, sir. CHIEF GUARD Brown hair, is it? ALEX Fair hair, sir. CHIEF GUARD Blue eyes? ALEX Blue eyes, yes, sir. CHIEF GUARD Do you wear eye glasses or contact lenses? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One shirt ó blue, collar attached. CHIEF GUARD Have you been receiving medical treatment for any serious illness? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One pair of boots ó black leather, zippered, worn. CHIEF GUARD Have you ever had any mental illness? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Do you wear any false teeth or false limbs? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One pair of trousers ó blue pinstriped. CHIEF GUARD Have you ever had any attacks of fainting or dizziness? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One pair of socks ó black. CHIEF GUARD Are you an Epileptic? ALEX No, sir. CHECK-IN One pair of underpants ó white with blue waistband. CHIEF GUARD Are you now, or ever have been, a homosexual? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Right. The mothballs, Mister. CHECK-IN Mothballs, sir. CHIEF GUARD Now then. Face the wall. Bend over and touch your toes. Chief Guard inspects Alex's anus with a penlight. CHIEF GUARD Mmmmmmm... any venereal disease? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Crabs? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Lice? ALEX No, sir. CHIEF GUARD Through there for a bath. ALEX Yes, sir. INT. PRISON CHAPEL ó DAY Priest in pulpit big rough state-proper type. Convict audience. Alex sits apart tending an overhead projector. PRIEST I ask you friends. What's it going to be then? Is it going to be in and out of institutions like this? Or more in then out for most of you? Or are you going to attend the divine word and realise the punishment that awaits unrepentant sinners in the next world as well as this. A lot of Idiots you are, selling your birthright for a saucer of cold porridge. The urge to live easy. I ask you friends, is it worth it? When we have undeniable proof ó yes, my friends, incontrovertible evidence that Hell exists. I know, I know, my friends. I have been informed in visions that there is a place darker than any prison, hotter than any human flame of fire, where unrepentant criminals, sinners like yourselves... A convict burps. All laugh. PRIEST Don't you laugh, damn you, don't you laugh. I say like yourselves ó scream in endless and unendurable agony. Their nostrils choked with the smell of filth, their mouths crammed with burning ordure. Their skins rotting and peeling. A fireball spinning in their screaming guts. I know... oh yes, I know. A convict lets rip some lip music ó prrrrrrrp. There is laughter. Chief Guard moves forward ó points. CHIEF GUARD I saw you, 920537. I saw you. CONVICT Up yours, mate. CHIEF GUARD Just you wait, 744678. One on the turnip coming up for you. PRIEST Quiet, my friends. Quiet. Quiet, I say. We will now sing Hymn 258 in the Prisoner's Hymnal. Piano starts up and Alex starts up overhead projector which displays the words of the hymn. CHIEF GUARD Show a little reverence, you bastards. Quiet! Convicts and all start to sing. SINGING I was a wandering sheep. I did not love... CHIEF GUARD Sing up damn you. Louder, sing up. SINGING ... the fold I did not love my shepherd's voice. I would not be controlled. CHIEF GUARD Come on, sing up, damn you. SINGING I was a wayward child I did not love my home I did not love my father's voice I loved afar to roam. ALEX (V.O.) It had not been edifying, indeed not, being in this hell hole and human zoo for two years now, being kicked and tolchocked by brutal warders, and meeting leering criminals and perverts ready to dribble all over a lucious young malchick like your story-teller. INT. PRIEST'S LIBRARY ó DAY Alex reading the Bible. ALEX (V.O.) It was my rabbit to help the prison charlie with the Sunday service. He was a bolshy great burly bastard, but he was very fond of myself, me being very young, and also now very interested in the big book. Priest walks by and nods pleasantly. ALEX (V.O.) It had been arranged by the prison charlie, as part of my further education to read him the Bible. I didn't so much like the latter part of the book which is more like all preachy talking, than fighting and the old in-out. I liked the parts where these old yahoodies tolchock each other and then drink their Hebrew vino and, then getting on to the bed with their wives' handmaidens. That kept me going. BIBLE FANTASY ó FIGHTING ó DAY Biblical fighting shot. Alex slashing away. Blood spurting. HANDMAIDEN FANTASY IN TENT ó DAY Alex lying with three semi-nude handmaidens. EXT. BIBLICAL STREET Christ being whipped on by Alex, dressed as a Legionary. ALEX Move on there. Move on. ALEX (V.O.) I read all about the scourging and the crowning with thorns and all that, and I could viddy myself helping in and even taking charge of the tolchocking and the nailing in, being dressed in the height of Roman fashion. BACK TO THE LIBRARY Alex sits with his eyes closed. Priest comes over and squeezes his shoulder. Alex looks up at him and smiles. PRIEST (reading from Alex's Bible) Seek not to be like evil men, neither desire to be with them, because their minds studieth robberies and their lips speak deceits. ALEX If thou lose hope being weary in the days of distress, thy strength shall be diminished. PRIEST Fine, my boy, fine, fine. ALEX Father, I have tried, have I not? PRIEST You have, my son. ALEX I've done my best, have I not? PRIEST Indeed. ALEX And, Father, I've never been guilty of any institutional infractions, have I? PRIEST You certainly have not, 655321. You've been very helpful, and you've shown a genuine desire to reform. ALEX Father ó may I ask you a question in private? PRIEST Certainly, my son, certainly. Is there something troubling you, my son? Don't be shy to speak up. Remember, I know all the urges that can trouble young men deprived of the society of women. ALEX No Father. It's nothing like that, Father. It's about this new thing they're all talking about. About this new treatment that you out of prison in no time at all and makes sure you never get back in again. PRIEST Where did you hear about this? Whose been talking about these things? ALEX These things get around, Father. Two Warders talk as it might be, and somebody can't help overhearing what they say. Then somebody picks up a scrap of newspaper in the workshops and the newspaper tells all about it. How about putting me in for this new treatment, Father? PRIEST I take it you are referring to the Ludovico Technique? ALEX I don't know what it's called, Father, all I know is that it gets you out quickly and makes sure that you never get in again. PRIEST That's not proven, 655321. In fact, it is only in the experimental stage at this moment. ALEX But it is being used, isn't it, Father? PRIEST It has not been used yet in this prison. The Governor has grave doubts about it and I have heard that there are very serious dangers involved. ALEX I don't care about the danger, Father. I just want to be good. I want for the rest of my life to be one act of goodness. PRIEST The question is weather or not this technique really makes a man good. Goodness comes from within. Goodness is chosen. When a man cannot chose, he ceases to be a man. ALEX I don't understand about the whys and wherefores, Father. I only know I want to be good. PRIEST Be patient, my son, and put your trust in the Lord. ALEX Instruct thy son and he shall refresh thee and shall give delight to thy soul. PRIEST Amen. They cross themselves. EXT. PRISON YARD ó DAY Prisoners walking in circles. INT. PRISON CORRIDOR Guards stand either side of cell doors. Chief Guard with Governor, Minister and entourage. CHIEF GUARD Mister. GUARD All present and correct, sir. CHIEF GUARD Right. All present and correct, sir. GOVERNOR Very good, Chief. They inspect cells. CHIEF GUARD Leave to carry on, sir, please? GOVERNOR Carry on, Chief. CHIEF GUARD Sir. EXT. PRISON YARD Chief Guard comes out of door. CHIEF GUARD Right, pay attention. I want you in two lines. Up against that wall facing this way. Go on move! Hurry up about it and stop talking. The men line up. Chief Guard moves back to door and comes to attention. CHIEF GUARD Ready for inspection, sir. He stands back and salutes as Governor, Minister and entourage enter and walk along line of men. MINISTER How many to a cell? GOVERNOR Four in this block, sir. MINISTER Cram criminals together and what do you get ó concentrated criminality... crime in the midst of punishment. GOVERNOR I agree, sir. What we need are larger prisons. More money. MINISTER Not a chance, my dear fellow. The Ggovernment can't be concerned any longer with outmoded penological theories. Soon we may be needing all of out prison space for political offenders. Common criminals like these are best dealt with on a purely curative basis. Kill the criminal reflex that's all. Full implementation in a year's time. Punishment means nothing to them, you can see that... they enjoy their so-called punishment. Alex seizes his chance as they pass by. ALEX You're absolutely right, sir. CHIEF GUARD Shut your bleedin' hole!!! MINISTER Who said that? ALEX I did, sir. MINISTER What crime did you commit. ALEX The accidental killing of a person, sir. CHIEF GUARD He brutally murdered a woman, sir, in furtherence of theft. 14 years... sir! MINISTER Excellent. He's enterprising, aggressive, outgoing. Young. Bold. Viscous. He'll do. GOVERNOR Well, fine... we could still look at C-Block. MINISTER No, no, no. That's enough. He's perfect. I want his records sent to me. This vicious young hoodlum will be transformed out of all recognition. ALEX Thank you very much for this chance, sir. MINISTER Let's hope you make the most of it, my boy. GOVERNOR Shall we go to my office? MINISTER Thank you. INT. GOVERNOR'S OFFICE ó DAY Governor seated at his desk. There is a knock on the door. GOVERNOR Come in. Door opens. Chief Guard enters with Alex. CHIEF GUARD Sir, 655321, sir. GOVERNOR Very good, Chief. Chief Guard turns to Alex. CHIEF GUARD Forward to the white line, toes behind it. Full name and number to the Governor. Chief Guard closes door. ALEX Alexander de Large, sir. 655321, sir. The Governor takes off his glasses. GOVERNOR I don't suppose you know who that was this morning, do you? That was no less a personage than the Minister of the Interior and what they call a very new broom. Well, these new ridiculous ideas have come at last, and orders are orders, though I may say to you in confidence that I do not approve. An eye for an eye, I say, if someone hits you, you hit back, do you not? Why then should not the State very severely hit by you brutal offenders not hit back also? But the new view is to say no. The new view is that we turn the bad into good. All of which seems to be grossly unjust. Hmmmmmm. ALEX Sir... CHIEF GUARD Shut your filthy hole, you scum!!! GOVERNOR You are to be reformed. Tomorrow you go to this man, Brodsky. You will be leaving here. You will be transferred to the Ludovico Medical Facility. It is believed that you will be able to leave State custody in a little over a fortnight. I suppose that prospect pleases you? CHIEF GUARD Answer when the Governor asks you a question you filthy young swine! ALEX Oh yes, sir. Thank you very much, sir. I've done my best here I really have, sir. I'm very grateful to all concerned. GOVERNOR Sign this ó where it's marked. Alex turns the paper to read it. CHIEF GUARD Don't read it ó sign it! GOVERNOR It says that you are willing to have the residue of your sentence commuted to the Ludovico treatment. Alex signs. Governor gathers up papers. Alex dots the last "i" and smiles. INT. LUDOVICO CENTRE RECEPTION DESK ó DAY ALEX (V.O.) The next morning I was taken to the Ludovico Medical Facility, outside the town centre, and I felt a malenky bit sad having to say goodbye to the old Staja, as you always will when you leave a place you've like gotten used to. Chief Guard briskly leads the way for Alex and escort. They move into reception hall where the Doctor stands. CHIEF GUARD (shouting like an RSM) Right. Halt the prisoner. Good morning, sir, I'm Chief Officer Barnes. I've got 655321 on a transfer from Parkmoor to the Ludovico Centre, sir! DOCTOR Good morning, we've been expecting you. I'm Dr. Alcott. Chief Guard checks the name from his clipboard. CHIEF GUARD Yes, Dr. Alcott. Are you prepared to accept the prisoner, sir? DOCTOR Yes, of course. CHIEF GUARD Well, I wonder if you'd mind signing these transfer documents, sir. Doctor signs. CHIEF GUARD Thank you, sir. There, sir... there, and there, sir... and there. Thank you, sir. Prison escort move forward. Halt. Excuse me, sir. Is that the officer that is to take charge of the prisoner, sir? Doctor nods. Officer steps forward. CHIEF GUARD If I might offer a word of advice, Doc. You'll have to watch this one. A right brutal bastard he has been, and will be again. In spite all his sucking up to the prison Chaplain and reading the Bible. DOCTOR Oh, I think we can manage things. Charlie, will you show the young man to his room now. CHARLIE Right, sir. Come this way, please. Alex exits with Officer. INT. ALEX'S ROOM ó LUDOVICO CENTRE ó DAY Alex finishing breakfast tray in bed. Room bright and cheery. Dr. Branom, a tall woman in her fifties, enters with nurse carrying a sterile tray. DR. BRANOM (very briskly) Good morning, Alex, my name is Dr. Branom. I'm Doctor Brodsky's assistant. ALEX Good Morning, Missus. Lovely day, isn't it? DR. BRANOM Indeed it is. May I take this She removes his tray. DR. BRANOM How're you feeling this morning? ALEX Fine... fine. DR. BRANOM Good. In a few minutes, you'll meeting Dr. Brodsky and we'll begin your treatment. You're a very lucky boy to have been chosen. ALEX I realise all that, Missus, and I'm very grateful to all concerned. DR. BRANOM We're going to friends now, sir. ALEX I hope so, Missus. She inserts a needle into the medicine vial. ALEX (CONT'D) What's the hypo for then? Going to send me to sleep? DR. BRANOM Oh no, nothing of the sort. ALEX Vitamins will it be then? DR. BRANOM Something like that. You are a little undernourished, so after each meal were going to give you a shot. Roll over on your right side please, loosen your pyjama pants and pull them half-way down. He does, somewhat reluctantly. She gives him a shot in the bum. ALEX What exactly is the treatment here going to be then? DR. BRANOM It's quite simple really. Were just going to show you some films. ALEX You mean like going to the pictures? DR. BRANOM Something like that. ALEX Well, that's good. I like to viddy the old films now and again. INT. AUDIO VISUAL LUDOVICO CENTRE ó DAY Auditorium setting. Alex is bound in a examination chair in front of a large video screen. A white-coated Technician is strapping Alex's head to a medical device. He then carefully attaches the eyelid locking to Alex's eyes. ALEX (V.O.) And viddy films I would. Where I was taken to, brothers, was like no cine I'd been in before. I was bound up in a straight-jacket and my gulliver was strapped to a headrest with like wires running away from it. Then they clamped like lidlocks on my eyes so I could not shut them no matter how hard I tried. It seemed a bit crazy to me, but I let them get on with what they wanted to get on with. If I was to be a free young malchick in a fortnight's time, I would put up with much in the meantime, my brothers. At the back of the auditorium are ten or fifteen solemn medical Professionals in white coats watching the proceedings and occasionally taking notes. A film begins showing on the screen. The Technician drops eyedrops into Alex's eyes. VIOLENCE FILM Man being beaten by four toughs wearing white. Punches, kicks, grunts, blood. ALEX (V.O.) So far the first film was a very good professional piece of cine, looked like it was done in Hollywood. Screams, moans, kicks, punches. ALEX (V.O.) The sounds were real horroshow. You could slooshy the screams and moans very realistic and you could even get the heavy breathing and panting of the tolchocking malchicks at the same time. And then, what do you know, soon our dear old friend, the red, red vino on tap. The same in all places like it's put out by the same big firm, began to flow. It was beautiful. It's funny how the colours of the real world only seem really real when you viddy them on a screen. More kicks, punches, groans, thumps. Girl being beaten, raped by six toughs. Screams, music, laughing, grunts, heavy breathing. ALEX (V.O.) Now all the time I was watching this, I was beginning to get very aware of like not feeling all that well, but I tried to forget this, concentrating on the next film, which jumped right away on a young devotchka, who was being given the old in-out, in-out, first by one malchick, then another, then another. This seemed real, very real, though if you thought about it properly you couldn't imagine lewdies actually agreeing to having all this done to them in a film, and if these films were made by the good, or the State, you couldn't imagine them being allowed to take these films, without like interfering with what was going on. Girl being raped. ALEX (V.O.) When it came to the sixth or seventh malchick, leering and smecking and then going into it, I began to feel really sick. But I could not shut my glazzies and even if I tried to move my glazballs about I still not get out of the line of fire of this picture. Alex squirming and retching. Dr. Brodsky clears his throat and quietly addresses his colleagues seated in the back of the room. DR. BRODSKY Very soon now the drug will cause the subject to experience a death-like paralysis together with deep feelings of terror and helplessness. One of our earlier test subjects described it as being like death, a sense of stifling and drowning, and it is during this period we have found the subject will make his most rewarding associations between his catastrophic experience and environment and the violence he sees. Alex retching violently and struggling against his strait jacket. ALEX Let me be sick... I want to get up. Get me something to be sick in... Stop the film... Please stop it... I can't stand it any more. Stop it please... please. INT. ALEX'S ROOM ó LUDOVICO ó DAY DR. BRANOM Well, that was a very promising start. By my calculations, you should be starting to feel alright again. Yes? Dr. Brodsky's pleased with you. Now tomorrow there'll be two sessions, of course, morning and afternoon. ALEX You mean, I have to viddy two sessions in one day? DR. BRANOM I imagine you'll be feeling a little bit limp by the end of the day. But we have to be hard on you. You have to be cured. ALEX But it was horrible. DR. BRANOM Well, of course, it was horrible. Violence is a very horrible thing. That's what you're learning now. Your body is learning it. ALEX I just don't understand about feeling sick the way I did. I never used to feel sick before. I used to feel like the very opposite. I mean, doing it or watching it, I used to feel real horrorshow. I just don't understand why, how or what. DR. BRANOM You felt ill this afternoon because you're getting better. You see, when we're healthy we respond to the presence of the hateful with fear and nausea. You're becoming healthy that's all. By this time tomorrow you'll be healthier still. INT. AUDIO VISUAL LUDOVICO CENTRE ó DAY Alex retching and screaming ó restrained again by a straight-jacket. ALEX (V.O.) It was the next day, brothers, and I had truly done my best, morning and afternoon, to play it their way and sit like a horrorshow co-operative malchick in the chair of torture, while they flashed nasty bits of ultra-violence on the screen.; though not on the soundtrack, my brothers. The only sound being music. Then I noticed in all my pain and sickness what music it was that like cracked and boomed. It was Ludwig van ó 9th symphony, 4th movement. ALEX Stop it... stop it, please!!! I beg of you!!! It's a sin!!! It's a sin!!! It's a sin, please!!! Brodsky leans forward and turns down the sound. DR. BRODSKY What's all this about sin? ALEX That!... Using Ludwig van like that! He did no harm to anyone. Beethoven just wrote music. DR. BRANOM Are you referring to the background score? ALEX Yes!!! DR. BRANOM You've heard Beethoven before? ALEX Yes!!! DR. BRODSKY You're keen on music? ALEX Yes!!! DR. BRANOM (quietly) What do you think about that, Dr. Brodsky? DR. BRODSKY (softly) It can't be helped. Here's your punishment element perhaps. The Governor ought to be pleased... I'm sorry, Alex, this is for your own good, you'll have to bear with us for a while. ALEX You needn't take it any further, sir. You've proved to me that all this ultra-violence and killing is wrong and terribly wrong. I've learned my lesson, sir. I see now what I've never seen before I'm cured, praise Bog! DR. BRODSKY You're not cured yet, my boy. DR. BRODSKY You must take your chance boy. The choice has been all yours. ALEX But, Sir... Missus... I see that it's wrong! It's wrong because it's like against like society. It's wrong because everybody has the right to live and be happy without being tolchocked and knifed. DR. BRODSKY No, no, boy. You really must leave it to us, but be cheerful about it. In less than a fortnight now, you'll be a free man. INT. AUDITORIUM ó DAY VIP audience including Minister, Junior Minister, Prison Governor, Priest, Dr. Branom, Dr. Brodsky. Dressed in street clothes Alex enters led by a white-coated Technician. He is led onto stage and left standing there, blinking into lights. The Minister rises and walks to the front of the auditorium. MINISTER Ladies and Gentlemen, at this point, we introduce the subject himself. He is, as you will perceive, fit and well nourished. He comes straight from as night's sleep and a good breakfast, undrugged, unhypnotized. Tomorrow, we send him with confidence out into the world again, as decent a lad as you would meet on a May morning. What a change is here, Ladies and Gentlemen, from the wretched hoodlum the state committed to unprofitable punishment some two years ago, unchanged after two years. Unchanged, do I say - not quite. Prison taught him a false smile, the rubbed hands of hypocrisy, the fawning, greased, obsequious leer. Other vices prison taught him as well as confirming him in those he had long practised before. Our party promised to restore law and order and to make the streets safe for the ordinary peace loving citizen. This pledge is now about to become a reality. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is an historic moment. The problem of criminal violence is soon to be a thing of the past. But enough of words ó actions speak louder than. Action now. Observe all. He returns to his seat and leans close to his Junior Minister. JUNIOR MINISTER Our necks are out a long way on this, Minister. MINISTER I have complete faith in Brodsky. If the polls are right, we have nothing to lose. Lights are dimmed. Enter Lardface, an elegantly dressed fag. LARDFACE Hello, heap of dirt. Pooh, you don't wash much do you, judging by the horrible smell. ALEX Why do you say that, brother? I had a shower this morning. LARDFACE Oh, he had a shower this morning. You trying to call me a liar? ALEX No, brother. What d'you want? LARDFACE What do I want? ALEX Sorry, brother. I didn't mean any offence. LARDFACE Oh. Oh, you're sorry are you, well you must think I'm awfully stupid. He slaps Alex in the face. ALEX Why did you do that, brother? I've never done wrong to you. LARDFACE You want to know why I did that, well you see ó I do that... He stamps on Alex's foot. LARDFACE ... and this... He pulls Alex's nose. LARDFACE ... and that... He pulls Alex's ear, pushes him off balance and plants his foot on his chest. LARDFACE ... because I don't like you horrible type, do I, and if you want to start something... if you want to start... go on... well, you just start. Please do. Alex retching. ALEX I'm gonna be sick. LARDFACE You're gonna be sick are you? ALEX I wanna be sick. LARDFACE You wanna be sick? ALEX Let me get up. LARDFACE You wanna get up? Well, you've gotta you see... well I want you to lick it. Go on... Lick it. Alex, gagging and coughing, licks the sole of his shoe. LARDFACE ... And again... Go on!!! Again! There's a good boy. ALEX (V.O.) And, O my brothers, would you believe your faithful friend and long suffering narrator pushed out his red yahzik a mile and a half to lick the grahzny, vonny boots. The horrible killing sickness had wooshed up and turned the like joy of battle into a feeling I was going to snuff it. Minister rises. MINISTER Enough! That will do very well. Thank you. Lardface does leading-man-bows. A smattering of applause. LARDFACE Thank you very much, Ladies and Gentlemen... Thank you. Alex on floor ó still retching. A beautiful nude Girl enters. Alex looks up slowly. ALEX (V.O.) She came towards me with the light like it was the like light of heavenly grace, and the first thing that flashed into my gulliver was that I would like to have her right down there on the floor with the old in-out, real savage. But quick as a shot came the sickness, like a detective that had been watching around the corner and now followed to make his arrest. Alex retching. Minister rises. MINISTER Thank you very much. Thank you my dear. Girl bows and exits to loud applause. MINISTER Not feeling too bad now are you? ALEX (pulling himself together) No, sir, I feel really great. MINISTER Good. ALEX Was I alright, sir? Did I do well, sir? MINISTER Fine. Absolutely fine. You see, Ladies and Gentlemen our subject is, you see, impelled towards good by paradoxically being impelled toward evil. The intention to act violently is accompanied by strong feelings of physical distress. To counter these, the subject has to switch to a diametrically opposed attitude. Any questions? Priest rises and moves to Alex. PRIEST Choice! The boy has no real choice, has he? Self interest, fear of physical pain drove him to that grotesque act of self abasement. Its insincerity was clearly to be seen. He ceases also to be a creature capable of moral choice. MINISTER Padre, these are subtleties. We are not concerned with motive, with the higher ethics; we are concerned only with cutting down crime. And with relieving the ghastly congestion in our prisons... He will be your true Christian, ready to turn the other cheek. Ready to be crucified rather than crucify, sick to the very heart at the thought even of killing a fly. Reclamation, joy before the angels of God. The point is that it works! Applause. EXT. FLATBLOCK Alex walking carrying his prison parcel wrapped in brown paper. INT. ALEX'S FLAT Ma, Pa and Joe the Lodger reading newspapers. Headlines ó all Alex. Alex enters quietly. Loud radio music from sitting room prevents anyone from hearing him. He enters his won room which is the first off the hall. ALEX Hi. Hi. Hi, there my Pee and Em. All three look up startled. EM Alex. ALEX (to his mother) Hullo love, how are you? (kisses her) Nice to see you, Dad. PEE Hullo lad. What a surprise, good to see you. ALEX Keeping fit then? PEE (very ill at ease) Fine, fine. ALEX Well, how are you then? PEE Oh fine, fine. Keeping out of trouble, you know. ALEX Well ó I'm back. PEE (with feigned enthusiasm) Aye. Glad to see you back, lad. EM Why didn't you let us know what was happening, son? ALEX Sorry, Em, I wanted it to be like... a big surprise for you and pee. PEE Well, it's a surprise all right, a bit bewildering too. EM We've only just read about it in the morning papers. PEE Aye. You should have let us know, lad, not that we're not very pleased to see you again. All cured too, eh? ALEX That's right, Dad they did a great job on my gulliver, I'm completely reformed. PEE Aye. ALEX (looks in the kitchen) Well, still the same old place then, eh? PEE Oh, aye, aye. ALEX (fake whisper) Hey, Dad, there's a strange fella sitting on the sofa there munchy-wunching lomticks of toast. PEE Aye, that's Joe. He... ummmm, lives here now. The lodger. That's what he is... he... he rents your room. Alex confronts Joe. ALEX How do you do, Joe? Find the room comfortable, do you? No complaints? JOE I've heard about you. I know what you've done. Breaking the hearts of your poor grieving parents. So you're back? You're back to make a life of misery for your lovely parents, is that it? Well, over my dead corpse you will, because you see, they've let me be more like a son to them than like a lodger. Alex cocks his fist and starts to retch violently, almost at the same moment Joe drops back on the couch next to Em. EM Joe! Joe! Don't fight here boys! Alex burps and retches. JOE Oh, please. Do put your hand over your mouth, it's bloody revolting. Alex violently ill. PEE Well, what's the matter lad, are you feeling alright? EM Dad... It's the treatment. More retching. JOE Well, it's disgusting. It puts you off your food. EM Leave him be, Joe. It's the treatment. PEE D'you think we should do something? EM Would you like me to make you a nice cup of tea, son? ALEX No thanks, Mum. It'll pass in a minute... (after a pause) ... What have you done with all my own personal things? PEE Well. That was all took away, son, by the Police. New regulation about compensation for the victim. ALEX What about Basil? Where's my snake? PEE Oh well, he met with like an accident. He passed away. Alex becomes a bit weepy. ALEX What's gonna happen to me then? I mean that's my room he's in ó there's no denying that. This is my home also. What suggestions have you, my Pee and Em, to make? PEE Well, all this needs thinking about, son. I mean we can't very well just kick Joe out... Not just like that, can we? I mean Joe is here doing a job. A contract it is, two years. Well, we made like an arrangement, didn't we Joe? You see, son, Joe's paid next month's rent already so, well, whatever we do in the future, we cant just say to Joe to get out, now can we? JOE No, there's much more than that, though. I mean I've got you two to think of. I mean you're more like a mother and father to me. Well, it wouldn't be fair now, would it, for me to go off and leave you two to the tender mercies of this young monster who's been like no real son at all. Look, let him go off and find a room somewhere. Let him learn the errors of his way, and that a bad boy like he's been don't deserve such a good mum and dad as he's had. ALEX Alright. I see how things are now. I've suffered and I've suffered, and I've suffered and everybody wants me to go on suffering. JOE You've made others suffer. It's only fair that you should suffer proper. You know I've been told everything you've done, sitting here at night round the family table, pretty shocking it was to listen to. It made me real sick, a lot of it did. Now look what you've gone and done to your mother. Em bursts into tears. ALEX So that's the way it is then, eh? That's the way it is. Right, I'm leaving now, you won't ever viddy me no more. I'll make my own way. Thank you very much. Let it lie heavy on your consciences. Alex exits. PEE (shouting after him) Now don't take it like that son. Em boohoohoos, Joe comforts her. EXT. AMBANKMENT ó DAY Alex walks along the Thames embankment still holding his paper parcel. Tramp enters. The same man beaten by Alex and his gang earlier in the film. TRAMP Can you spare me some cutter, me brother? Can you spare some cutter, me brother? Alex, without looking at him, reaches in his pocket and gives him some money. TRAMP Oh, thankyou, your honour. The Tramp takes a second look at Alex. TRAMP Jamey Mack! Be the hokey fly! Holy Mother of God! All the Holy Angels and blessed saints in Heaven preserve us. Alex breaks away but the Tramp toddles alongside him. TRAMP I never forget a face! I never forget any face, be God! ALEX Leave me alone, brother. I've never seen you before. Tramp shouts to other Meths drinkers and Tramps. TRAMP This is the poisonous young swine that near done me in. Him and his friends beat me and kicked me and thumped me. Alex breaks away again. TRAMP Stop him! Stop him! A leg is stuck out and Alex goes down. The tramp swarm all over him. TRAMP They laughed at me blood and me moans. This murderous young pig is a prize specimen of the cowardly brutal young. He is in our midst and at our mercy. Give it to him. That's it. Old Tramps begin to beat at Alex. ALEX (V.O.) Then there was like a sea of dirty, smelly old men trying to get at your humble Narrator, with their feeble rookers and horny old claws. It was Old Age having a go at Youth and I daren't do a single solitary thing, O my brothers, it being better to be hit at like that, than want to be sick and feel that horrible pain. The Tramp crowd round Alex, shouting. TRAMPS Young hooligan... Vagabound... Kill him... Villain... Toad... Bastard... Kick his teeth in... Near killed poor old Jack, he did. Police move in and push off crowd. FIRST POLICEMAN Alright, stop it now. SECOND POLICEMAN Alright, stop it now. Alright! Come on. Stop breaking the State peace. You naughty boys. Alright, that's enough. Alex looks up. ALEX Oh, no. DIM Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, if it isn't little Alex. Long time no viddy, droog. How goes? Surprised are you? ALEX Impossible... I don't believe it. GEORGIE Evidence of the old glazzies. Nothing up our sleeves. No magic, little Alex? A job for two, who are now of job age. The police. EXT. COUNTRY ROAD ó DAY Police Landrover drives up. Alex is pulled out by Georgie and Dim and hustled up a deserted lane. DIM Come on, Alex. Come for walkies. Hahahahaha. ALEX Come, come, my little droogies. I just don't get this at all. The old days are dead and gone. For what I did in the past I've been punished. DIM Been punished, yeah? ALEX I've been cured. DIM Been cured, yeah, that was read out to us. The Inspector read all that out to us. He said it was a very good way. ALEX I just don't get this all. It was them that went for me, brothers. You're not on their side and can't be. You can't be Dim. It was someone we fillied with back in the old days... Trying to get his own malenky bit of revenge after all this time. You remember, Dim? DIM Long time, is right. I don't remember them days too horrorshow. Don't call me Dim no more, either. Officer, call me. GEORGIE Enough is remembered though, little Alex. Dim and Georgie laugh. They drag Alex to a low water through. DIM This is to make sure you stay cured. Georgie hits Alex in the stomach with his blackjack. Then, they push his head under the water and methodically start to beat him with their blackjacks. After a full minute of this, they drag him out, halt-drowned, DIM (laughing) Be viddying you some more, some time Alex. EXT. "HOME" ó NIGHT ó HEAVY RAIN Alex stumbles up the road to the entrance gate. ALEX (V.O.) Where was I to go, who had no home and no money. I cried for meself, Home, Home, Home. It was Home I was wanting and it was Home I came to, brothers, not realising in the state I was in, where I was and had been before. Alex stumbles and crawls to the door. INT. "HOME" ó NIGHT Mr. Alexander at his typewriter. Julian a 6'4" ó heavyweight weight-lifter lies across an exercise bench working with bar-bells. The door bell rings. MR. ALEXANDER Who on earth could that be? JULIAN I'll see who it is. He goes to the door. JULIAN Yes, what is it? No reply. He opens the door. Alex falls into the hall. ALEX (barely audible) Help. Help me... Help me... Police. Julian picks him up like a child and carries him into the living room. INT. "HOME" ó LIVING ROOM ó NIGHT ALEX (V.O.) And would you believe it, O my brothers and only friends, there was your faithful Narrator being held helpless, like a babe in arms, and suddenly realising where I was and why HOME on the gate had looked so familiar. But I knew I was safe. I knew he would not remember me for, in those carefree days, I and my so-called droogs wore our maskies which were like real horrorshow disguises. JULIAN Frank, I think this young man needs help. MR. ALEXANDER Dear, dear, dear. Whatever happened to you, my boy? Mr. Alexander, now confined to a wheelchair, pushes himself away from his desk, and rolls up to Julian. The water drips off Alex's clothes. They look at each other. ALEX The police... The horrible ghastly Police. They beat me up, sir. The Police beat me up, sir. Mr. Alexander stares at him. It becomes apparent he is insane. MR. ALEXANDER I know who you are! Isn't it your picture in the newspapers? Didn't I see you this morning on the video? Are you not the poor victim of this horrible new technique? ALEX Yes, sir, that's exactly who I am, sir... and what I am... a victim, sir. Mr. Alexander becomes frenzied as the speech progresses. MR. ALEXANDER Then, by God, you have been sent here by providence. Tortured in prison, then thrown out to be tortured by the Police. My heart goes out to you, poor, poor boy. Oh, you are not the first to come here in distress. The Police are fond of bringing their victims to the outskirts of this village. But it is providential that you, who are also another kind of victim, should come here. But you're cold and shivering. Julian, draw a bath for this young man. JULIAN Certainly, Frank. He carries Alex off. ALEX Thank you very much, sir. God bless you, sir. Alexander bites his hand. INT. "HOME" ó BATHROOM Alex soaks, eyes closed, in a hot tub. After a while he begins softly singing to himself: "Singin' in the Rain". INT. "HOME" ó LIVING ROOM ó DAY Mr. Alexander is hunched over the phone, talking in hoarse whipsers. The door to the bathroom is right behind him. While he speaks Mr. Alexander throws nervous glances over his shoulder. MR. ALEXANDER I tell you, sir, they have turned this young man into something other than a human being. He has no power of choice any more. He's committed to socially acceptable acts, a little machine capable only of good... He can be the most potent weapon imaginable to ensure that the Government is not returned at the next election. The Government's great boast, as you know sir, is the way they have dealt with crime in the last few months. Recruiting brutal young roughs into the police, proposing debilitation and will-sapping techniques of conditioning. Oh, we've seen it all before in other countries The thin end of the wedge. Before we know where we are we shall have the full apparatus of totalitarianism. This young boy is a living witness to these diabolical proposals. The people ó the common people ó must know... must see! There are rare traditions of liberty to defend. The tradition of liberty means all. The common people will let it go! Oh, yes ó they will sell liberty for a quieter life. That is why they must be led, sir, driven... pushed!!! Thank you very much, sir. He'll be here. Trembling with excitement and madness, Mr. Alexander hangs up the phone. His eyes, shiny with anticipation. Then, suddenly, he becomes aware of Alex's voice coming from the other side of the door. INT. "HOME" ó BATHROOM Alex in bath, singing. ALEX I'm singing in the rain, Just singing in the rain... MR. ALEXANDER His face horribly distorted in a Homeric rage. INT. "HOME" ó NIGHT Alex, alone, in complete silence. Eating a large plate of spaghetti. The giant, Julian, appears, carrying Mr. Alexander in his wheelchair. He deposits him at the table. ALEX Good evening, sir. MR. ALEXANDER (very weird) Good evening. ALEX It was very kind of you to leave this out for me, sir. There was no-one around when I finished my bath, so I started. I hope that's alright, sir. MR. ALEXANDER (too loud ó voice out of control) Of course. Food alright? ALEX Great, sir. Great. MR. ALEXANDER Try the wine! ALEX Thank you very much, sir. Cheers Suddenly the thought occurs to Alex that the wine may be drugged or poisoned. ALEX Won't you join me, sir? MR. ALEXANDER No, my health doesn't allow it. ALEX (to Julian) And you, sir? JULIAN No thank you. Alex, stalling for time, reaches for bottle and reads the label. ALEX 1960, Chateau, Saint Estephe, Medoc, very good brand, sir. He doesn't get a penny's change for his remarks from Alexander and Julian. He holds the glass up to the light. ALEX Very good colour, sir. Smells mice, too.Very good number, sir. Very good. Here's to it. He downs the glass. ALEX Very refreshing, sir, very refreshing. MR. ALEXANDER (very arch) I'm so pleased you appreciate good wine. Have another glass! ALEX Thank you, sir. MR. ALEXANDER My wife... Alex freezes. MR. ALEXANDER ... used to do everything for me and leave me to my writing. ALEX Your wife, sir? Has she gone away? MR. ALEXANDER No. She's dead! ALEX I'm sorry to hear about that, sir. His face contorted in rage. MR. ALEXANDER She was very badly raped, you see. We were assaulted by a gang of vicious young hooligans in this house, in this very room you're sitting in now. I was left a helpless cripple. The doctors said it was Pneumonia, because it happened some months later during the 'flu epidemic. The doctors told me it was Pneumonia, but I knew what it was. A victim of the modern age, poor, poor girl. Suddenly his mood changes. He wheels right up to Alex. MR. ALEXANDER And now you, another victim of the modern age. But you can be helped. I phoned some friends while you were having a bath. ALEX Phoned some friends, sir? MR. ALEXANDER Yes. They want to help. ALEX Help me, sir? MR. ALEXANDER Help you. ALEX Who are they, sir? MR. ALEXANDER They're very, very important people and they're interested in you. Bell rings. Julian rises, MR. ALEXANDER Julian. This will be these people now. Alex gets up. ALEX Look, sir. I'm sorry to have troubled you. I think I ought to be going, sir. Julian bars the way. MR. ALEXANDER No, no my boy. No trouble at all. Alex slowly sits. MR. ALEXANDER Have another glass of wine. He pours. Alex picks up glass and takes a drink. INT. "HOME" ó NIGHT Dolin and Rubinstein enter with Julian. DOLIN (genial) Hullo, Frank. MR. ALEXANDER Good evening, sir. RUBINSTEIN Frank. DOLIN So this is the young man? ALEX How do you do, sir? DOLIN Hullo. ALEX Missus. Very pleased to meet you. RUBINSTEIN Hullo. DOLIN I hope you forgive us for coming over at this ungodly hour, but we heard from Frank that you were in some trouble so we came over to see if we could be of any help. ALEX Very kind of you, sir. Thank you very much. DOLIN I understand that you had a rather unfortunate encounter with the Police tonight. ALEX Yes, sir. I suppose you might call it that, sir. DOLIN Hahaha, and how are you feeling now? ALEX Much better, thank you, sir. DOLIN Feel like talking to us. Answering a few questions? ALEX Fine, sir, fine. DOLIN Well, as I've said, we've heard about you. We are interested in your case. We want to help you. ALEX Thank you very much, sir. DOLIN But first we'd like to find out a few things about you. ALEX What would you like to know, sir? DOLIN Well, shall we get down to it? ALEX Yes, sir. Rubinstein takes out a notebook. RUBINSTEIN The newspapers mentioned that in addition to your being conditioned against acts of sex and violence, you've inadvertently been conditioned against music. ALEX Well, er, I think that was something that they hadn't planned for, you see, Missus, I'm very fond of music and always have been, especially Beethoven, Ludwig van... Beethoven. B... E... E... He leans over and looks at her writing in notebook. RUBINSTEIN It's alright, thank you. ALEX And it just so happened that while they were showing me a particularly bad film, of like a concentration camp, the background music was playing Beethoven. RUBINSTEIN So now you have the same reaction to music as you do to sex and violence? ALEX Oh well, it's... it's not all music you see, Missus. It's just the 9th. RUBINSTEIN You mean Beethoven's 9th Symphony? ALEX That's right. Er... I can't listen to the 9th any more at all. When I hear the 9th, I get like this funny feeling. RUBINSTEIN When you say this funny feeling, you mean the state of mind brought on by the treatment they gave you? ALEX That is correct, sir. And then all I can think about is like trying to snuff it. RUBINSTEIN I beg your pardon? ALEX Snuff it, sir... um... death, I mean, missus... Er... I just want to die peacefully like with no... pain. RUBINSTEIN Do you feel that way now? ALEX Um... oh no, sir, not exactly, I still feel very miserable, very much down in spirits. RUBINSTEIN Do you still feel suicidal? ALEX Um... well, put it this way... I feel very low in myself. I can't see much in the future, and I feel that any second something terrible is going to happen to me. He pitches forward, face into the plate of spaghetti. RUBINSTEIN Well done, Frank. Julian, get the car, will you please? INT. HI-FI ROOM ó DAWN Alexander sits looking up. Rubinstein, Julian and Dolin also listening to Beethoven played loudly on tape recorder. INT. DOLIN'S HOUSE ó PRISONER BEDROOM ó DAY The 9th Symphony booming up through the floor. Alex slowly regains consciousness. ALEX (V.O.) I woke up. The pain and sickness all over me like an animal. Then I realised what it was. The music coming up from the floor was our old friend, Ludwig van and the dreaded 9th Symphony. He staggers to the door. It is locked. He kicks and tugs the door. ALEX Open the door... turn it off... turn it off. CUT TO: THE BILLIARD ROOM BELOW Hi-Fi gear laid out on the table. Large speakers facing upwards. Mr. Alexander trembles and twitches. He is now completely mad. The others merely wait, coolly. INT. DOLIN'S HOUSE ó PRISONER BEDROOM ó DAY Alex on his knees. His hands cupped over his ears, banging his head on the floor. Then he stops and slowly straightens up, staring at the window. ALEX (V.O.) Suddenly I viddied what I had to do, and what I had wanted to do ó and that was to do myself in, to snuff it, to blast off forever out of this wicked cruel world. One moment of pain perhaps and then sleep ó forever and ever and ever. EXT. WINDOW ó DAWC Alex leaps out of the window. INT. HOSPITAL WARD Alex in bed. Camera slowly tracks along length of his body. Everything is bandages and plaster splints, wire cages, blood drips. ALEX (V.O.) I jumped, O my brothers, and I fell hard but I did not snuff it, oh no. if I had snuffed it, I would not be here to tell what I have told. I came back to life, after a long, black, black gap of what might have been a million years. We hear Alex moan, and then another moan. Alex and the other ó a few times. Suddenly, some curtains which have been drawn around another bed in the ward are parted, and a nurse hurries to Alex, hastily buttoning up her uniform. She is trailed by a young Intern fumbling with his trousers. NURSE Oh, he's recovered conscienceness, Doctor. INT. HOSPITAL ó DAY Em and Pee sitting around the bed. PEE Hullo, lad. EM Hullo, son, how are you? PEE Are you feeling better? ALEX What gives, O my Pee and Em, what makes you think you are welcome? Em sobs. Pee comforts her. PEE There, there mother, it's alright. He doesn't mean it. You were in the papers again, son. It said they had done great wrong to you. It said how the Government drove you to try and do yourself in... and when you think about it, son... maybe it was our fault too in a way... your home's your home when it's all said and done, son. Em sobs. INT. HOSPITAL Psychiatrist wheels trolley to Alex's bed. He is sitting up. ALEX Good morning, Missus. DR. TAYLOR How are you feeling today? ALEX Fine. Fine. DR. TAYLOR Good. I'm doctor Taylor. ALEX I haven't seen you before. DR. TAYLOR I'm your Psychiatrist. ALEX Psychiatrist? Huh, do I need one? DR. TAYLOR Just part of hospital routine. ALEX What are we going to do? Talk about me sex life? DR. TAYLOR No... I'm going to show you some slides and you are going to tell me what you think about them Alright? ALEX Ohhh... jolly good. Perhaps you can explain me something to me first. DR. TAYLOR Yes? ALEX Well, when I was all like ashamed up and half awake and unconscious like, I kept having this dream like all these doctors were playing around with me gulliver. You know... like the inside of me brain. I seemed to have this dream over and over again. D'you think it means anything? DR. TAYLOR Patients who've sustained the kind of injuries you have often have dreams of this sort. It's all part of the recovery process. ALEX Oh. DR. TAYLOR Now then, each of these slides needs a reply from one of the people in the picture. You'll tell me what you think the person would say. Alright? ALEX Righty, right. The doctor reads aloud the dialogue printed in the cartoon balloon ó a peacock. DR. TAYLOR Isn't the plumage beautiful? ALEX I just say what the other person would say? DR. TAYLOR Yes. Yes, well don't think about it too long, just say the first thing that pops into your mind. ALEX Right... Knickers... Cabbages... It doesn't have a beak. Alex laughs. Slide of woman speaking to boy. DR. TAYLOR Good. The boy you always quarrelled with is seriously ill. ALEX That's right and I'll smash your face for you, yarblockos. Slide of watch shop. DR. TAYLOR Good. It wa your fault... you sold me a crummy watch. I want my money back. ALEX Bollocks. You know what you can do with that watch? You can stick it up your arse. Slide of nude woman in bed, a man at the window. DR. TAYLOR Good. What do you want? ALEX Excuse me, missus. No time for the old in-out, I've just come to read the meter. Slide of bird's nest with eggs. DR. TAYLOR Good. You can do whatever you like with these. ALEX Eggiwegs. I would like to smash 'em. Pick up th elot and f... owww... He slams his hand down and cries out with pain. ALEX Fucking hell... DR. TAYLOR Fine. Well, that's all there is to it. Are you alright? ALEX I hope so. Is that the end then? DR. TAYLOR Yes. ALEX I was quite enjoying that. DR. TAYLOR Good. I'm glad ALEX How many did I get right? DR. TAYLOR It's not that kind of a test. But you seem well on the way to a complete recovery. ALEX And when do I get out of here then? DR. TAYLOR I'm sure it won't be long now. INT. HOSPITAL ó DAY Alex sitting up, being fed by Nurse. ALEX (V.O.) So I waited and, O my brothers, I got a lot better munching away at eggiwegs, and lomticks of toast and lovely steakiweaks and then, one day, they said I was going to have a very special visitor. Doctor enters followed by Minister and Matron. MINISTER Good evening, my boy. ALEX Hi, hi, hi there, my little droogies. DOCTOR Well, how are you getting on today, young man? ALEX Great, sir. Great. DOCTOR Can I do anything more for you , Minister? MINISTER I don't think so, Sir Leslie. Thank you very much. DR. TAYLOR Then I'll leave you to it. Nurse. They exit. Minister moves to Alex. MINISTER You seem to have a whole ward to yourself, my boy. ALEX Yes, sir, and a very lovely place it is too, sir, when I wake up in the middle of the night with my pain. MINISTER Yes... well good to see you on the mend. I've kept in constant touch with the hospital, of course, and now I've come to see you personally to see how you're getting along. ALEX I've suffered the tortures of the damned. The tortures of the damned, sir. MINISTER Yes I can... Oh look, let me do that for you, shall I? ALEX Thank you, sir. MINISTER I can tell you that I... and the Government of which I am a member are deeply sorry about this, my boy. Deeply sorry. We tried to help you. We followed recommendations had been made to us that turned out to be wrong. An enquiry will place the responsibility where it belongs. We want you to regard us as friends. We've put you right, you're getting the best of treatments. We never wished you harm, but there are some that did and do, and I think you know who those are. There are certain people who wanted to use you for political ends. People who would have been glad to have you dead because then they would have been able to blame it all on the Government. I think you know who those are. There is also a certain man ó a writer of subversive literature ó who has been howling for your blood. He's been mad with desire to stick a knife into you, but you're safe from him now, we've put him away. He found out that you had done wrong to him ó at least he believed you had done wrong. He had formed this idea in his head that you had been responsible for the death of someone near and dear to him. We put him away for his own protection... I'm sorry, I thought you were ready. ALEX Where is he now, sir? MINISTER We put him away where he can do you no harm. You see we are looking after your interests. We are interested in you, and when you leave here you will have no further worries. We shall see to everything... a good job on a good salary. ALEX What job and how much? MINISTER You must have an interesting job at a salary which you would regard as adequate. Not only for the job which you are going to do and in compensation for what you believe you have suffered, but also because you are helping us. ALEX Helping you, sir? MINISTER We always help our friends, don't we? (smiles) It is no secret that the Government has lost a lot of popularity because of you, my boy. There are some that think that at the next election we shall be out. The press has chosen to take a very unfavourable view of what we tried to do. ALEX Well, who can blame them, sir? MINISTER Mmmm, possibly. Yes. But public opinion has a way of changing and you, Alex, if I may call you, Alex? ALEX Certainly, sir. What do they call you at home? MINISTER ument Error^^^My name is Frederick. As I was saying, Alex, you can be instrumental in changing the public verdict. Do you understand, Alex? Have I made myself clear? ALEX As an unmuddied lake, Fred. As clear as an azure sky of deepest summer. You can rely on me, Fred. MINISTER Good... good boy. Oh yes, I understand you're fond of music. I have arranged a little surprise for you. ALEX Surprise? MINISTER One I think you will like... as a, how shall I put it, as a symbol of our new understanding. An understanding between two friends. ALEX Thank you, Fred. Thank you. Minister turns and signals. Door opens and a crowd of cameramen and reporters rush in. Aides push two 6-foot loudspeakers and a Hi-Fi on a trolley. ALEX (V.O.) And what do you know, my brothers and only friends, it was the 9th, the glorious 9th of Ludwig van. Oh, it was gorgeosity and yummy yum yum. I was cured. CLOSE SHOT ALEX ALEX (V.O.) As the music came to its climax, I could viddy myself very clear, running and running on like very light and mysterious feet, carving the whole face of the creeching world with my cut throat britva. I was cured all right. THE END

THE MONASTERY HOZOVIOTISSA

DAY 29…..Greece the First Time

Posted on June 25, 2012 by Key West Lou

Nearer my God to Thee!

I was there. I was close. I visited the monastery on Amorgos yesterday. Way up in the sky sitting on the side of a very high cliff.

Some pertinent background information first. Then my personal experience.

The Monastery is also called the Monastery of Hozoviotissa. Do not ask what it means. I do not know. Could not ascertain. It has something to do with the Virgin Mary, however.

There was an Emperor Alexius back in the 11th century. Whether he was emperor of only Amorgos or more, I do not know. As the story goes, a mysterious icon of the Virgin Mary arrived on the beach below the cliff. No one knew nor could discover where it came from.

Emperor Alexius concluded it had been Divinely sent to him. He decided to build a shrine on the spot to honor the Virgin.

The spot could not be the beach. A house cannot be built on sand. There was only the beach and a cliff. The cliff towered. Straight up. Three thousand feet or better. Alexius decided the shrine should be built on the side of the cliff. The cliff that was sheer and high.

He ended up building a monastery to house the Virgin icon. The Monastery constructed is 8 stories tall. For real. Built a couple of thousand feet up the side of a sheer wall of stone. The Monastery itself is constructed of stone, marble and whatever concrete was back then.

Now to put everything in perspective. Louis’ journey and visit to the Monastery.

My first step was to take a bus. To Chora. The old part of town I visited a couple of days ago. The road to Chora is basically straight up a high mountain. The Chora area continues straight up. Evverything here is up, up and more up!

Fortunately, the bus dropped me off near the top side of the Chora. Then it was a long walk to the gate to the Monastery. Up hill, of course.

The gate did not mean I was there. It was merely an entrance.

The next step (a good word to use) in the process was to climb the steps to the Monastery. Note, I am walking up the side of a sheer cliff.

There are 300 steps. They twist a bit. Always up. Never down. Not even once.

The steps are not of normal construction. Their height varied little. Their width and length very much. Like 5-10 feet.

The steps were constructed of stone. A slate type. I do not know if they are the original steps from the 11th century or have been replaced. The stones/slates were worn. A few missing here and there.

Basically, the steps had the side of the cliff on one side and a drop off the cliff on the other.

The Monastery was at the other end of the 300 steps. Almost straight up. I keep stressing the straight. Simply because it was that way. I would estimate the steps were at a 75 degree angle or better. That is straight up!

You will recall, I failed to make it to the top of the volcano. I was not gung ho to make it to the top here. If I did, good. If not, it would have been a valiant effort. I would give it a try!

I made it to the top. To the Monastery. It took a while. Quite a while. I stopped about a dozen times. Sat a while on a step. The stress on my body did not seem as bad as the volcano attempt.

I was thinking why was I making it now and could not with the volcano. I concluded because the volcano was early in my trip and a first attempt at something high and steep. Everything is upward bound in Greece. Hills and steps every where. I have been in Greece more than three weeks now. My body gotten a bit in shape and adapted to the terrain.

The end of the steps did not take me directly into the Monastery. There was still a long walk up a path to the Monastery door.

I was there!

Awesome is the only way to describe what I saw. A mammoth white building running to the sky. Recall, the building is described as eight stories tall. That is tall. Especially when you are standing at the foot of the structure.

The building was constructed on the side of a sheer cliff. I could not help but think sadly how many slaves were involved and how many died in erecting this shrine. I also thought the engineers and architects of the 11th century had to be brilliant to have constructed such a large edifice under extremely difficult conditions.

The front door. Small. Tiny. At best 5 feet in height. Maybe less. Three to three and a half feet in width. The only entrance. I had to bend over to enter.

I suspect the Monastery entrance was so constructed because people were shorter back then. Additionally, it was a good way to ward off invaders. Only one bad guy at a time could enter.

The first room on the other side of the entrance. The first thing I saw was a table with clothes. Women’s dresses, men’s pants, etc.

There is a strict dress code. No shorts on men. Women in dresses. Not even pants. Shoulders and beasts covered. If you are not so attired, the monks provide the appropriate clothing. I was glad I had been forewarned. I wore khakis. The clothes available at the monastery were filthy. Looked like they had not been washed in 50 years.

Awesome continued to be my impression as I walked through the rooms. Amazing what my eyes beheld.

Art work in each room. Fantastic art work! Paintings. Icons. The sanctuary where the Virgin Mary icon was shown defies description. That beautiful.

An eight story structure has many windows. The views from the windows magnificent! Open sea to the front. The beach below. All in glorious color. It was like almost being in Heaven and looking down.

There was a social aspect. A monk came out at the end of our visit. The only monk I had seen. The monks here take a vow never to speak or see outsiders the rest of their lives. This monk apparently had a dispensation.

We were seated in a long narrow room. There was a throne at one end. A long narrow beautiful wood table. A long couch with very comfortable cushions on each side.

The monk served us a sweet drink. A wine of some sort. And a sweet. A piece of candy covered with sugar. He spoke. Gave some sort of dissertation. Unfortunately, it was in Greek. I understood none of it.

The monk was interesting. He was tall and thin. Appeared aged. Had a very long beard. Like down to his chest. He was dressed in a blue flowing robe. A hat/head cover of the same color.

I found his hands and face skin interesting. Dirty. Perhaps he had come to see us directly from the fields. But there were no fields. We were attached to a cliff. Then, he did not bathe that often. It was the only viable conclusion I could come to.

Between the dirty clothes at the beginning for those not properly dressed and the monk’s lack of cleanliness, I assumed the axiom that cleanliness is next to Godliness did not apply at the Monastery.

I made a meager contribution to the Monastery as I left.

There was a guest book. I signed and dated it. I wanted the whole world to know I had made it. I also inscribed above my signature…..Just amazing!!!

The trip down was not so bad. I took my time so I would not fall.

The bus was at the end of the Chora waiting where we had been dropped off. It was back to Amorgos.

An interesting trip. I am glad I have been able to share it with you.

Enjoy your day!

—

The Supreme Court has allowed release of Trump’s tax returns and other financial documents.

Trump is irritated big time. Could be the ticket to jail for him.

If Trump was correct that the records are sacrosanct, it means a person could cheat on taxes and commit bank fraud without responsibility.

Not the way things are done in the U.S. We are a nation of laws. Everyone is required to abide by them. Even a President.

Another scandal is engulfing the Catholic Church. Nuns are being publicly accused of sexual abuse in the U.S.

BishopAccountability.org is the watchdog group. As of 2020, 162 women of religious orders have been publicly accused. Concededly, the number is small. Especially when compared to the number of priests who have been charged.

It is believed the number of nun abused children alone is in the thousands. There have been more than 6,700 credible abuse accusations against priests. Globally there are 200,000 more nuns than priests.

Yet the nun accusations remain small. In the past 2 years, only 60.

Those abused by nuns suffer decades of delayed healing. The Church has been protecting nuns far more than priests.  The goal now is to expose “women religious” abuse cases.

If the Church’s cooperation is similar to that which for years protected priests, it will take years to expose the nun cases.

Pedophilia is pedophilia. Whether committed by a priest or nun. Each leaves its mark on the victim. Generally for a life time.

COVID-19 deaths now exceed 500,000. Physicians and scientists warn the number of deaths will get worse before it gets better.

Syracuse continues its downward spiral. Played Duke over the weekend. A “must” win for Syracuse. Such did not occur. Syracuse lost 85-71.

Duke decimated Syracuse.

The game was important to Syracuse as it concerned whether Syracuse will be invited to the NCAA tournament. At the moment, I doubt Syracuse is even on the bubble.

Syracuse plays Georgia Tech this weekend. A Syracuse victory appears to be Syracuse’s last hope for consideration.

Today is tuesday. Means Tuesday Talk with Key West Lou. Tonight at 9 my time. A quick half hour. Guaranteed you will enjoy. Join me. www.blogtalkradio.com/key-west-lou.

Enjoy your day!

THE MONASTERY HOZOVIOTISSA was originally published on Key West Lou

Day off today

Hi, howzit for you these days?  I’m good.  Pretty well off right now emotionally.  Feelin’ fine, feelin’ fine.  I’ve got no major difficulties at this time & that’s sweeeeeeet if you ask me.  I think I’m the type of person who is generally happy.  I’m not carefree but darn near close.  I have had some shit in my life & I choose to remember it & move on.  Like most people I’d like to think.  Ho hum ... what to do?  Hmm, hey!  I’m a great Aunt again.  My nephew & his girlfriend had a little girl about a week ago.  Congrats out to Josh & Kayla.  Yup, that’s exciting, for sure.  Get to meet the little giff soon.  

I finished reading my screenwriting book the other day & now I’m starting it again.  It’s really technical & I didn’t get some of it - sooOOoo back at it.  It was really exciting to find this book on my bookshelf after buying it some years before.  I do that:  I buy stuff & put it where it belongs until I have the desire to use it. Clothes, books, shoes, jewelry - lots of stuff.  I downloaded a huge amount of my belongings twice a few years back & now am just starting to replenish things.  I bought a wool coat which I had been trying to do since winter began.  It’s really nice.  Calf length, navy blue.  I love it.  The thing I was trying to avoid was a double-breasted one.  Didn’t want that shit going down!  It’s dated, you know? The one I bought is a single row of buttons.  It’s really quite beautiful.  Got a screaming deal on it too.  WooOoo HoooOo!  I was just thinking that it was the first thing I’ve bought that reminds me of my old stuff.  I like my taste in clothes, music, books, etc. so to have a chance to rebuild my wardrobe among other things such as shoes, boots, scarves, hats & the like is truly fucking awesome.  Yes, indeedy.

I just watched “The Shawshank Redemption” after reading the screenplay.  Wow, what a powerful movie & script. I love that film so I had to read the script first hand to understand how they conveyed the instructions & dialogue.  Fantastic.  If you love a film you should google the name of it with screenplay behind the title & pull up the beginning of the film & the reason there is one in the first place.  It’s so enjoyable & quick.  I’m now trying to decide what screenplay to read next.  I tried finding “Jumpin’ Jack Flash” with no luck.  Fuck a duck.  Oh well.  I bet it’s online but I need to do some investigating to find it.  And I will do.

It’s my brother’s birthday today.  We had a dinner all planned for him but he chose to hang out with friends instead.  Meanwhile, my Mom & I ate the dinner.  What can you do?  It was delicious.  Ham, scalloped potatoes & corn.  Plus your choice of cheesecake.  I picked double chocolate.  Mom went with raspberry swirl.  Yummy.  I bought Rob, my brother, a few gifts that I’m hoping he will pick up sometime soon.

Not working today & I’m loving it.  Happy to have today & a couple more off from work.  I like my  job.  I have sore feet though.  I think on payday I’ll go buy some boots.  We have to wear steel toe boots or shoes & it’s time I get another pair.  My feet felt like they were broken for a while until I got insoles & then when those died I bought another pair.  It’s okay but I want good.  I want my feet to feel good.  A girl at work showed me her boots & she said she could run a marathon.  Nice!!!  That’s what I’m looking for.  Found out were she got them & I’m heading that way in just less than 2 weeks.  Fucking rights.  I’ve been asking almost everyone about their footwear & that was what I wanted to hear.  I worked last night & it was good.  Like I said I like it there.  I’m a cashier.  Secretly a screenwriter. 

I’m going to give it my all & get my story down in the best possible way I can.   That book I have helped me see what to do more & better.  I likey, I likey.

I met a Sagittarius at work last night.  Me too.  I said “I knew you were cool.”  She said she doesn’t believe in all that.  I told her we’re the best.  “That’s all you need to know.”  And it’s true.  Sadges succeed early in life & later.  I’m in between.  I did do really well when I was 5. I was living the high life.  No shit.  I was.  I had a little blue bike that I raced around the neighborhood & was new to town.  Everyone wanted to talk to me & find out all about me.  I was feeling no pain.  Someone even asked me if I was real.  A couple kids asked me if they could touch me. Ha.  Funny.  Money maker!  That’s me.  I fell from grace quite a few years later & have been recovering from that shit ever since.  Ho hum.  Soon comes the day that I achieve my dreams & move on from this now.  Not that now sucks because it surely doesn’t.  I’m feelin’ fine remember?  I have been eating well for 9 days.  Fuck, it’s a huge thing for me.  I feel so much better when I eat properly for what I have.  Yes, Christ gave me some shit.  I’ve got 4 things that suck the bone.  A syndrome, dyslexia, eczema & a mental illness. Yes, I’m quite a ball of fun.  Dry.  Drier than dry.  Can’t read well out loud, hair issues & right fucked up without medication.  God loves me. He does.  But fuck!  Talk about a lot for a young girl to go through.  I’m stronger today, I’m sure.  Don’t get me wrong, I love Christ.  I truly do.  Ya, I’m a mix up of stuff.  It’s all good.  Everyone has something they have to deal with.  It’s R.N.S.

Well, I think everything works out for the best.  Gotta stay positive.  I do though, I believe that.  There is something great around the corner.  For me there is & if I believe it then I’m living that way with that expectation - I have that.  Life is good.  If it’s not change one thing & live that way for a while.  Change is a good, good thing.  Change is the beauty of life.

Anyway, a friend of mine called & we talked for an hour & now I have to go.  I’ll see you around the bend.

Corn Cobb

The Price of a Life - Chapter 4

Title: The Price of a Life Fandom (s): Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist Brotherhood Summary: I always thought waking up in another world would be a lot more…interesting. At least slightly exciting and terrifying, but it really wasn’t. It was more of a sudden and underwhelming event, that landed me in the company of fiction and its ignorance to modern physics. I thought it was a dream. Boy was I wrong. Characters: SI/OC, Maes Hughes, Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, etc. Rating: PG-13

At home - Truth did I just call it 'home'? - I left Lucha in my room - oh Truth 'my room'? I couldn't deal with this personalization, I needed to find a way home to my home in the real world - ugh, no time for an existential crisis and reality shattering revelations!

I needed a legitimate reason to get to East City. I was sure I could whip something up to get me over there quick so long as I used Shou Tucker as my excuse. Still not sure how I would end up doing that or what I would do when I got there, I grabbed my notebook, packed a few changes of non-dress clothes, and Lucha into my bag after changing. It was a dress this time, real pretty and white with a red bow around the waist. Ugh, I was turning into a cliche main character of some fantasy anime….oh wait.

I ran back to the room Mrs. Hughes was letting me stay in and grabbed a change of clothes - a pair of slacks, another white blouse and a dress jacket. Ugh, I hated formal clothing that involved pants.

"Almost done in there Irish?" Denny asked impatiently. I sighed, Maria had told him to go to the bathroom before we left Command. Why didn't he listen?

"Don't get your knickers in a twist, I'll be right out Miss. Daisy." I yelled back at him, trying not to curse. Truth knew I had a problem with that when I was in pain or sick. Right now, it was pain, the source being my feet, which were getting sweet revenge for my decision to go barefoot this morning.

It was still early in the morning when we got to the apartment - maybe 10 o'clock at the earliest. Still, Gracia had taken Elicia to a friend's party and the house was totally empty, with Maria and Denny as the exception. I was both excited to go and see if I could put some form of a plan in action and sad I was going to leave the Hughes' residence.

Playing with Elicia, eating family dinners, going to work every morning and dealing with Miss. Reich and Albert - all of that made this 'place' (yes place, I gave up on convincing myself this was a dream - the talk with Maes that morning cemented the new reality) feel normal. Going to East City to see if I could do something to change the story meant I was going to dive into a hellhole of trouble and danger - not that I cared or realized that as I watched with amusement as Denny rushed past me to the bathroom.

He was starting to grow on me. He was a lot like my 'little' brother Matt. Both were taller than me, longer blondish hair, and awkward - in the best way possible. And Maria reminded me of my older sister, Mary. They looked nothing alike, but they both had that motherish but mostly military feel to the way they addressed you. It made you nervous and comforted you at the same time.

"You okay Irish?" Maria asked, waking me from my daze as I stared at her. I realized my eyes were filling with tears - again. I really needed to stop crying all the time. It was almost as bad as my bad habit of skipping sleep.

"I'm fine; we need to get to stop at the main street grocery store - my boss is going to kill me for being late." I said as I wiped the fresh tears from my eyes. No time for nostalgia - I had things to do and people to see! Lucha - I was sure Truth wasn't there by the amount of snoring that came from the fluff ball - was asleep in my bag.

After writing another note and permanently borrowing another pen from the Hughes' stash, we headed out of the apartment. At the front door, a man was arguing with his wife over a missing umbrella - to which I booked it past them to the car. Maria and Denny gave me an odd look that I ignored as the car roared to life and thundered down the street. Miss. Reich was going to be pissed.

When the car finally pulled up to the little shop I shrunk in my seat when Albert waved to me. He was so cute! I hoped the guy found a good partner, he really deserved one. His enthusiastic waving was cut short as Miss. Reich stormed out of the back room. Maria and Denny got out of the car first, slightly slowing the woman's angry approach. I all but fell out of the car, looking anywhere but at my boss as she came to a stop at the front door and tapped her foot impatiently.

"You're late," She said accusingly, her voice low and dangerous. Miss. Reich shot an angry glance at Abert who turned and went to man the cash register without a word between the two. When your boss uses telepathy, you know you're in trouble. However, before I could get a word out, my babysitters spoke up.

"Miss. Irish has become involved in a series of murders in Central, she is an eyewitness to the crime."

"We believe she has information on the killer, and is therefore under our jurisdiction. Please excuse her absence." Maria said after Denny. Gosh, I loved these guys. I wished they could just talk for me sometimes. Miss. Reich looked to me, as if not fully convinced.

"This true, Irish?" She asked, sounding slightly less pissed. I looked at my feet, my cheeks feeling warm in my anxiety.

"Yes ma'am." I said curtly, tightening my grip on my bag. Lucha wiggled around for a moment before lying still. I hoped Truth wasn't possessing the poor guy again. Miss. Reich pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Fine, it's not like I can fire you anyhow. So, what's with the entourage, going somewhere?" I looked up, my confidence growing now that I knew she couldn't fire me. Sure, I wouldn't burn down the store or anything crazy, but at least she didn't scare me as much anymore. Still scary, but not overwhelmingly terrifying.

"This is 2nd Lieutenant Maria Ross and Sergeant Denny Brosh. Lieutenant Colonel Hughes asked them to babysit me. I actually plan on going back to Command to see if I can help with anything; Mr. Hughes has been very kind to me since my arrival here in Central and I wish to repay him." Miss. Reich looked to Maria and Denny, who nodded simultaneously. "Do you mind if I take the day off? You don't need to pay me or anything-"

"Yeah, sure. It's fine, not like you really do much since I already did your morning chores for you." She sounded dejected as she said this, her blue eyes trailing to the window and avoiding my own. Now I was concerned. Was she worried about me, or was she really sick? It seemed at the moment that the latter was likely.

"Uh, okay. Thanks, ma'am. I'll be back soon." To be honest, I didn't know how long I'd be away. I really wanted to live a quiet life here and have a steady job, but that would mean sacrificing the opportunity to change the future. Damn these decisions. We left soon after, not wanting to hang around the shop as customers began appearing. We drove back to Command, the ominous building casting small shadows with the midmorning sun looming overhead.

"You're boss seems really nice," Denny noted, only heard once the car's hellish sounding engine died down. I nodded, a splitting headache from the lights of day impeding my ability to process that statement.

"Yeah, I guess she is-" Major Armstrong was standing in the middle of the reception room of the enormous building, almost seeming small in the large crowd of officers. Almost. He approached us slowly; Denny, Maria, and I gradually gravitating towards one of the halls.

I had to follow them - I had no clue where Hughes' office even was in the mess of rooms and halls. However, I did make sure to note the path we took - it would be important to my future tampering. We seemed to be heading in that general direction, when an idea struck me.

"Can we go to the archive room? It should have anything I need to cross-reference." Maria, who walked beside me, gave me quick glance.

"Sure, do you want to see Hughes first?" I shook my head.

"I need to get focused - and from the looks of that folder I'm going to be busy for a few hours." I said, noting the thick binder Major Armstrong had tucked under his arm.

"Ah, yes - I had nearly forgotten - here is the list you requested Miss. Irish." Armstrong said as the four of us progressed down one of the many long hallways. I nodded, taking a very thick folder from him. It was like an AP US History binder, without a spine and almost twice as big. It would take hours just to sort the files, let alone find any State Alchemists that would be pertinent to the future. I decided against opening it until I found a table - Truth knew I'd drop it or something clumsy like that. We arrived at the archive room, which Maria kindly opened for us.

It was gorgeous. Bookshelves everywhere, the smell of fresh ink and old paper - a truly glorious sanctuary for any bibliophile. I stood there gawking at the dimly lit room so long that Armstrong had to prod me to move along since I was wasting my time looking at all of the intricate land and celestial maps. If I had the time, I'd spend hours pouring over every book and article that was in that beautiful room. Alas, it was not to be, as the Armstrong Squad looked to me expectantly.

"So, what do you need a list of State Alchemists for?" Armstrong asked as I eventually made my way to a table that Maria and Denny had seated themselves at.

"Well, Basque was pretty well known, right? I mean, even up in Drachma we heard of how he performed in the Ishvalan Civil War. I didn't see his eyes, but maybe-"

"You think Scar might be Ishvalan?" Denny asked, surprise evident in his bright green eyes. I took a slow breath. I had gotten so far, I couldn't mess this up now!

"Maybe, but we have no way of knowing. Still, his little speech before he attacked Basque sounded similar to the praises the Ishvalan monks used to do - but you know, more holy war and less simple life and peace." I said as I handed out a quarter of the stacked papers to each person present, reserving a quarter for myself.

"Even if he is Ishvalan, he is targeting Alchemists with questionable pasts and morals. It would help me a lot if you guys could help me sort these papers by location; south to the left with Denny, north by Major Armstrong, west by Maria, and I'll take the east. Just put any alchemists stationed in central in the middle of the table - Scar isn't likely to murder here for a while since I'm an eyewitness," I finished, immediately delving into my files.

We worked in silence for a bit, I taking note of every alchemist in my pile and the pile I was sorting. Anyone could get involved just because of my presence, therefore I needed to have an understanding of my possible allies or enemies. It took me a little longer than the others to sort through my papers, but I was making good pace.

"You seem to have a very organized plan in mind for narrowing down his next victim," Maria said, not taking her eyes off the paper she was reading. "How exactly do you plan on doing that?" My brilliant plan devised and undisclosed to you readers during the car ride could finally be revealed in all its brilliance. In short, I had no freaking clue.

"Well, he targeted Basque because of his involvement in the war from what I overheard, but from the way he spoke his victim demographic spreads to those who practice alchemy in a way his religion deems 'unnatural'. I'd have to guess that includes experiments involving living creatures, philosopher stones, the like." They were all staring at me now.

Fudge. I had forgotten that I had lied to Wrath about the philosopher's stone. Did they know? I mean, Armstrong was on a pretty tight leash and really didn't have a choice if the Fuhrer asked him for some information on the new immigrant girl. Well, this was going swimmingly.

"You know about philosopher's stones but not alchemy in Drachma? How does that work?" Armstrong asked, glancing at me with steely blue eyes. Damn he could be intimidating.

"We know about it, it just isn't practiced. I'd say we know as much and care as much about alchemy as you here in Amestris do about alkahestry." Why was this study session feeling like another interrogation? I was getting really tired of these thinly veiled questions of my origins. I already told them my story, I was going to stick to it.

"Hm, alkahestry. That is practiced in Xing, correct?" I looked over my glasses at Armstrong, the questions irritating me for some reason. They guy was acting as if I was involved with every criminal in the country.

"Yes, I read books on it in my mother's library in our old house."

"Why did you come here, Irish?" Denny asked, getting bored of sorting papers but noting my frustration with the way the Major was beating around the bush. I shrugged, noticing that my pile of unsorted papers was thinning.

"If you wanted my life story you could have just asked, Major." I said with a snort of amusement. These guys were a riot. One minute they're being intimidating and strict, the next their nonchalantly asking about your secret past.

"Why is a kid like Ed a State Alchemist? Why are you working for the military? Why is the sky blue and the grass green? There's not really a simple answer without context and a story behind it, but to put it simply without degrading its importance, I decided to help people. No particular reason why here, could have been Creta or Aerugo. I just felt that-"

"Yo, Mac!" Hughes said as he busted through the door, thankfully stopping my rant before I dug myself a deeper pit. Truth, I really made no sense at all did I? I hoped Armstrong didn't report this.

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes," The military members present said as they stood upon his arrival. Man, that was some dedication they had. These chairs were actually really comfy.

"I just thought you guys could use a break. Go get lunch, it's after noon already." The bubbly man said as the other soldiers filed out of the room. Hughes made his way toward me. I was so worked up over the mini interrogation session I just wanted to get the papers sorted and be done with it. "What are you doing?" He asked, peering at the carefully organized papers.

"Sorting the alchemists by region. Scar would have most likely skipped town; but he'll double back. Serial killers tend to have a predictable territory that they peruse regularly. Since he has so much land to cover if this really is a holy crusade of sorts, he needs to be moving in a circular pattern before returning to Central to start the cycle over again. Once I figure out his most likely path based on the concentrations of his victim demographic, I can determine his next target-"

"What's bothering you?" Hughes asked, not in the least bit interested in the serial killer he was supposed to be tracking. Way to show commitment to your work buddy! I was almost done sorting the last of Armstrong and Denny's papers. It seemed only Maria was able to focus on her work instead of getting distracted by backstories. I didn't look up from the work.

"Nothing," I said, my eyes briefly passing over Shou Tucker's face. It sent shivers down my spine, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. He was really creepy looking, like the kind of guy who drives the white van around town looking to kidnap little kids.

"Listen, if it's still bothering you-"

"No, it's not that. Go get lunch with the others, I'll be there in a bit." I said with a sigh, shuffling through the eastern alchemist papers first and pulling out Tucker's paperwork while looking for similar registrations to make my 'assumptions' of trouble brewing in East City seem more reliable.

"I already ate." The older man said, sitting across from me and looking at Tucker's paperwork and picking it up. "Looking for possible targets?" I nodded, pulling out a few other similar accounts from the pile I was mulling through.

Johann Adlersflügel had done studies in chimera breeding, it seemed they had been thought infertile but with alchemy he had made it so that he could breed two chimeras of the same 'species'. He lived in East City too, so I put it where Tucker's paperwork once was.

"Mac," I looked at him angrily. I just wanted to get this work over with, I wasn't ready for any more therapy sessions or interrogations today. "Come on, let's get lunch."

Resigning myself to his hospitality, I followed him with a few murmured protests. I really was hungry, as I hadn't really had a breakfast that morning. Not to mention throwing up leaves you pretty hungry. I followed him, searching the walls for maps. They really needed to invest in some with this labyrinth of a building.

We arrived at this little cafe diner area, nothing big or fancy but kind of homey. It was easy to find the table Armstrong was at, Maria and Denny dwarfed next to the man's imposing stature. Hughes went to order me food, leaving me to either stand there awkwardly or to join the trio who had already begun their meal. Mustering the most realistic smile I could, I walked to the table and sat next to Maria.

"How the food here?" I asked cheerily, hoping to sound genuine. I was curious - though I doubted it could compare to Gracia's cooking. It seemed just about everyone had ordered a sandwich, Major Armstrong had finished his meal from the looks of it and was now reading a newspaper, but Maria and Denny were still eating.

"It's okay, not that I can complain - it being free food and all." I nodded at Denny's explanation. As I had said before, who would turn down free food?

"I think I've got just about everyone back in the archive room sorted out. From the looks of it the highest concentration of alchemists fitting the target demographic are in the east." I said, taking the sandwich Hughes handed me. Mystery meat and mystery vegetables on mystery bread. Taking a bite, it tasted vaguely like smoked turkey, but it still had that unidentified flavor from somewhere.

"I have to go to East City today actually, you could come if you'd like Irish." Hughes mentioned, not even touching his food. I looked to him with surprise.

"Why?" I asked, searching his face for any real emotion. For the happy go lucky guy the series always portrayed, Maes Hughes was really hard to read.

"Confidential, Mustang is calling me in for a case." Crap, when did this happen? I couldn't remember, so I ate my food quietly.

"Sure, how long's the ride?" I asked in between bites. I was starving, and the mystery sandwich was actually really good.

"About a night if we catch the next train." Hughes responded, finishing off his own meal. I nodded at his response, looking at the glass plate in confusion. Where do we put these? Do they have a dishwasher somewhere? My silent questions went unanswered as a waiter of sorts collected the dishes. He wore a military uniform, but I had noticed him earlier floating from table to table collecting used utensils and glasses.

"When's that?" I asked, giving Lucha a piece of sandwich I had saved. He didn't seem interested until I all but poked him with it. Then he jumped up so violently it nearly knocked the bag over.

"About an hour, will that be enough time for you to pack your things?" I patted my bag, partially to keep Lucha from spilling it and partially to put emphasis on my statement.

"Already done,"

"You expected to figure out where you were going today?" I smirked at Hughes, the smile tugging at my features.

"No, but it's best to be prepared."

An hour later, we were at the station. All of us, Armstong looming over the crowd of waiting passengers like a skyscraper. I had only ridden on a train a few times in my life, mostly to go to NYC and visit my Uncle Patrick there. You see, he worked with Marvel there, so we'd always go and see movies with him and he'd point out anything he helped with or edited. Uncle Pat was awesome.

But these trains were different; they were old, rickety, bustling steam engines. I had never ridden one of those, so I was just a little excited. Okay, I was literally pacing back and forth and occasionally snapping my fingers quietly, I was just so damn energetic! Then, I felt the rumble somewhere down the line that sent miniature tremors through the platform. Though I couldn't get close to the rail with the crowd, I could hear the pistons thundering as the train approached.

"What are you so excited about?" Denny asked, observing my jittery behavior as the train pulled up. "It's just a train ride." I shook my head when he reached for my bag. I didn't want Lucha to get lost with all the other luggage. The rush of getting into the train sent a bustling wave of energy over the platform, and I had little time to admire the locomotive's exterior before I was pushed inside the iron horse.

"I haven't ridden a train here in Amestris before." I said as I boarded the train, looking around in amazement to take in the beautiful interior. The windows let in light that illuminated the wooden tables and benches that people seated themselves at, the five of us finding ourselves at the last empty seat. Denny, Maria, and myself seated adjacent from Hughes and Armstrong.

"You traveled all the way to Liore on foot?" Hughes asked once we were seated. I shook my head at Hughes' question, too entranced by the atmosphere.

"No, just not a train from Central…" A man was saying goodbye to his wife as he headed east for business, a pair of parents were wishing off their oldest child who was heading east for school, it was both sad and entertaining, all of the bustle and hustle. Denny laughed every time I saw something exciting that made my head swivel around like an owl's. I couldn't help it - everything was just so interesting and new.

By the time the train was pulling out of the station, most people were quiet, chatting with the people around them or quietly reading a book. I probably should have found a book in the library considering it was going to burn down in a few days, but it was too late now that the train was pulling out.

"What time will we get there?" I asked, looking out the window as the locomotive gained speed. Hughes shrugged pulling out a book and some case files.

"Sometime tomorrow - probably afternoon, but morning if the stops are fast." I nodded, watching as the city faded into small farms and scattered houses.

"Do you have a map I could borrow?" I asked, not fully recalling the layout of this world. Hughes nodded, digging around in his own carryon bag before pulling out a folded piece of paper. "Thanks," I said quickly as I unfolded it to trace my path to East City. The font used was weird, making it hard to read some of city names, but first the train would stop at...Nipppax? Okay, sure, Nipppax, then it would go to Geob, from there to Awrosut before finally going to East City.

I hoped we got there by morning, but then I realized that meant sleeping. On a freaking train. Sure, it was a cool way to travel but the seats weren't exactly comfortable to say the least. I looked out the window with a sigh, folding the map back up. Denny was already starting to doze, his head occasionally bumping my shoulder as he struggled to stay awake. At least someone was going to sleep well that night.

It was dark outside by the time everyone was asleep, the cabin of the car illuminated only by a few dim electric lights and the stars. There was no moon out tonight, or at least no moon that I could see. Outside the window was just pure blackness, and the reflection of the lights inside didn't help.

Denny was gently snoring, becoming my big little brother of this world more and more with each passing second. Maria's head was slumped forward, but nothing besides her closed eyes indicated her unconsciousness. Hughes was sleeping on the table, splayed out on top of his paperwork. It seemed all that coffee had finally caught up to him. Armstrong slept like a soldier, his face stoic and his arms folded as he slept sitting straight were times when I looked to him and was convinced he was awake only to find is breathing slow and deep.

A passenger somewhere behind me was loudly snoring, another in front of me murmuring about financial worries. Even with the thunder of the train's mechanisms, the car was oddly quiet. The strangeness of the quiet unsettling, I laid down my own head, using my own bag as a pillow. Lucha crawled out as I put it on the table, curling up next to my head as I put my forehead against the rough fabric. I closed my eyes, awaiting the sweet abyss of sleep.

After what felt like a few minutes pass, I opened my eyes in frustration at my own inability to sleep and discovered an unnerving sight. It was day now, and though the train was still moving, no one was there. Lucha and my bag were missing, along with everyone else in the car. The unsettling silence from a moment ago had returned, but was now joined by a distant static, like that of a broken television.

I looked around, checking every seat for some sign of life, but found none. The train was still moving, and the cabin was well lit, but blackness encompassed the windows, seeming to bleed through the frame and infect the wood interior of the car.

"Where is everyone?" I breathed quietly, my own voice sounding far away and terrifyingly disembodied. I looked to the doors at either end of the car, each leading to another passenger car. Maybe there was an emergency of sorts and everyone had to move to another car? But if that was so, why was I left? Where did my bag and Lucha go?

"Sweetie!" I flinched at my father's panicked voice, the words strained and filled with terror. "Sweetie, get out of here!" If anyone could see me now, I probably looked insane. I looked back and forth between the two doors, unable to tell where the voice was coming from.

"Irish! Keep your knees up," A new voice joined the mix, Coach Lawless' normal criticism of my P.E. class performance. This voice definitely came from the doors behind me, but my father's voice still softly beckoned.

"Sis!" It was my little sister, Fionna's voice this time, coming from above me. "Sis, I want to be an astronaut! Can you build me a spaceship?" All of my siblings; Matt, Fionna, Mary, Aiden, Brian, and Lìadan started talking in chorus with the other voices, the cacophony of sound giving me a headache. Each was saying something different and vaguely familiar.

"Help!" A new voice screamed above them, all other sounds silencing at its shrill cry. It was my mother. I ran towards the back door, tugging at the doors. They seemed locked.

"Mom?" I asked, my breathing fast and my chest feeling hollow. "Mom? Mom!" I ran back to the doors at the front of the car, which swung open before I could touch them. McDougal's form blocked me from exiting the cabin. He wasn't smiling or frowning, just looking disappointed. The man said nothing as he stood there. McDougal was almost monochrome, his uniform grey, his skin white. His completely black eyes and hair were the only defining sources of color. He approached me slowly without taking a step, his feet not moving as he advanced.

A thousand 'nopes' ran through my head as I ran to the back doors that now opened to a hallway in the Central Command building. Not questioning the logic of the nightmare, I ran as fast as I could down the hallway with McDougal in silent pursuit. It diverged often, but I just ran straight ahead. It never seemed to end, and looking back the train car was now missing. Only McDougal's frowning, unchanging outline followed me.

I bolted down the next side hallway that came up, the ground giving way below me. I screamed as I fell, the air rushing through my hair and clothes as the white ground quickly approached. Sirens blared, the static from before now filling my head with its buzzing scream.

I awoke with a gasp, sitting up stiffly as I tried to calm down. When my eyes adjusted to the light streaming from the window I noticed that Denny and Maria were no longer beside me. The panic from the dream gripped me for a moment before I saw them standing and stretching after the long train ride. Hughes was picking up his papers, while Armstrong appeared to be asleep still. Noting my apparent alarm, Hughes shot me a concerned glance.

"Bad dream, Mac?" I shakily put the still sleeping Lucha into my bag, frustrated with myself for my temporary moment of hysteria.

"Yeah," I didn't care to further explain, too focused on getting off the dreaded locomotive in case the dream wasn't over yet and some new horror awaited me. I stumbled out onto the platform, dazed by the bright lights of the station. Rain pounded on the roof overhead, reminding me of my purpose here. I had little time to dwell on the dream - dreams were just regurgitated memories after all.

I quickly checked the time on the large clock on the wall. It was a little after 11:00, meaning the Elrics were probably at the Tucker's already. I was about to rush out of the station when Armstrong grabbed the back of my shirt, preventing me from sprinting to glorious, rainy freedom. I looked up at the taller man quizzically. I had forgotten Maria and Denny were my babysitters. The two finally emerged from the car, looking exhausted. And I was supposed to be the one having sleeping issues.

"Morning sunshine," I said jokingly, elbowing a sleepy Denny in the ribs. "Ready to go target hunting?" His response was mumbled complaint about coffee. Maria's half-awake ramblings were aligned with that sentiment. "Oh, gosh. You're all addicts. Fine, coffee shop first, then to-"

"Lieutenant Colonel Hughes!" A voice snapped to my left, interrupting my fantastic plan of action. He was smoking from the smell of it. Hughes saluted back at the man as he stepped off the train car, his luggage tucked under arm.

"Good to see you, Havoc." I looked from the bedraggled man to Hughes. This was Jean Havoc? He looked like he belonged in a bar, behind a bar, or at the pub; somewhere with booze and women, not in uniform. Contrary to the image he had in the show, real life Jean had a 9 o'clock shadow, but was all around either drunk or goofy looking depending of your point of view. Hughes clapped my shoulder, startling me from the disturbing image of this man driving one of the prehistoric cars around under the influence. "Mac, this is 2nd Lieutenant Jean Havoc. He'll be your chauffeur for the day." I glared at Hughes. I did not need more babysitters. I could take care of myself, more or less.

"Nice to meet you Mac-"

"Please call me Irish, and the pleasure's mine Havoc, just don't crash the car."

We ended up in one car, again. But this time Jean was driving and as much as I'd like to have faith in his driving skills, the occasional swerving due to the rain was not helping calm my fears.

"So, Hughes," I asked, having not gotten an answer from him the day before. "Why are you here in East City?"

"I told you, confidential. Mustang called me in for some business." I rolled my eyes and even sitting in front of me I could see his grin.

"Sure, whatever you say Maes," He now shot an injured glare at me that brought a smile to pull at my lips. "So, Havoc first order of business is…" I looked over Tucker's file for a moment, unable to recall the address. "44 Lockwood Drive. The Tucker estate please." Hughes and Havoc exchanged a brief and tense glance at one another. Silence enveloped the car, only broken by the rain's thundering outside. "Was it something I said?"

"Major Shou Tucker died last night," Havoc said grimly, "The Scarred Man killed him, and the chimera too." Hughes' eyes widening slightly before he murmured under his breath,

"The bastard got what he deserved, I guess." I looked back and forth between the two, then back at the confused Armstrong Trio behind me.

"What the hell did I miss?"

"Well Mac, all I can say is you're really damn good at predicting targets." Hughes said, rubbing his face in frustration. Well, I guess the moral dilemma had been temporarily put off until the next death in the series? Still, that meant I was in East City for nothing. I guessed I could visit the Elrics, but in case you hadn't noticed, I could barely deal with my own issues let alone the boatload of problems the Elrics would get themselves into.

"Who exactly is this girl Hughes?" Jean asked, looking back at me for a moment. I had to resist the urge to yell at him for taking his eyes off the road. Noticing that the usually excitable man was pretty distraught at the moment, I took it upon myself to introduce myself.

"Honorary Citizen Miss. Irish of Drachma. Nice to meet you Mr. Havoc, sir." I mock saluted, hoping he wouldn't look away from the road to see me. It was bad enough these 1914 cars had a stiff steering wheel and the roads were chocked full of people, I didn't need a distracted driver too. Well, the roads weren't very crowded now, with all the rain, but that just made it harder to see anyone who dared to go outside in this weather.

"Nice to meet you ma'am. Now tell me, how does a pretty little lady such as yourself get wrapped up with the military." Jean asked, his lit cigarette gradually filling the vehicle with smoke.

"She's only seventeen Havoc, don't get ahead of yourself." A disgruntled Maria said, reaching over me to flick the man's head. I forgot to mention there were no seatbelts, yet another hazard of the 1914s. If I survive the Promised Day I was so getting these people up to par with modern safety standards.

"Yeah, and it's a long story." I added in, subconsciously reaching for my necklace that brushed against the slowly fading bruise. Jean chuckled, like an older cousin Timothy chuckle that made you think they knew more than you did.

"We've got plenty of time." I sighed at his comment, looking out the window. Hughes hadn't said a word since the mention of the Tuckers' deaths, glaring out at the window as if angry with the rain.

"We all need some coffee first," I said, looking back at a tired Denny that Maria shoved away from herself as the man began to doze off again. "Know anywhere good?" Jean smiled, chomping down on the stub of his cigarette.

'The Cafe' read the sign above the quaint little shop. Not the most creative name, but at least it was pronounceable, unlike the names of the stops the train made. It was Maria who dozed off during our ride there, even though it was no more than ten minutes. We all hustled into the dinner, even Hughes shaken from his dejected state by the cold, pounding rain. Inside, a waiter began to lead our group to a table. When all was said and done, I had ordered coffee for everyone but myself and Havoc.

"So, mystery girl, what's your story?" Jean asked, his cigarette having been put out by the rain. He had been pretty peeved to learn that the small diner didn't allow smoking, but the man didn't complain.

"You first pretty boy." I retorted, not in the mood to retell this entire story from its beginning. Again. Jean laughed, hitting the table.

"See? You do find me attractive!" I glared at him, but knew it was all in good jest. He was just trying to get a rise out of me.

"You're girlfriend wouldn't be too happy to see you now, would she?" I responded with a sniff, smirking at his startled face.

"I never said I had a-"

"No, I was guessing. But, now I do know you have a girlfriend." Jean glared at me before giving a huff of amusement.

"You are one smart cookie. So, this is how you figured out Tucker was going to get the ax from Scar?" I shrugged, feeling an unwelcome blush come across my cheeks.

"No, it was more criminal psychology and plain common sense-" I stopped talking and, smiling, nodded a thank you to the waiter who brought four mugs and a pitcher of coffee. Though the one on one with someone who wasn't trying to question me too seriously was nice, I was feeling a little abandoned by the Armstrong Squad and Hughes, who were falling asleep in their seats. Were they that dependent on coffee, or did they sleep worse than I did last night?

"Still, how did you narrow it down to Tucker? East City?" Jean asked, calming down his energetic attitude the more conscious the quartet of coffee addicts became. Armstrong had gotten himself coffee, but he wasn't fighting to stay awake like the other three.

"Well, Scar would skip town after he let a witness go, and judging by his target demographic-"

"Woah, the guy actually let a witness go? Man, is he alright?" I let a small chortle of amusement get past my lips. Havoc was one of the first people to not mistake me for a guy on our first meeting, and I could see a beautiful friendship somewhere in the far, far, future. Maybe.

"Yeah, I'm good," Jean looked at me, confused for a moment. Sighing, I rolled my eyes. "I was the witness, Scar let me go." Unbelieving, Havoc turned from me to Armstrong, then back to me.

"Sure…" People either believed rumors about me, or believed nothing about me. I couldn't win, could I? Have a little faith Havoc!

"Ugh, think whatever you want Jean, it doesn't matter now…"

"No, no, you had another lead, right?" Hughes asked groggily, beginning to regain his ability to function after the long train ride and coffee withdrawal. Furrowing my brow, I nodded. But the lead wouldn't be the next target...Ed and Al would be!

If the Nina/Alexander chimera and Tucker had died last night, then this was the 'Rain of Sorrows' episode. My fingers twitched uncontrollably as I thought of the sequence of events. It had a jump to Liore where the homunculus started a bloody religious conflict, but after that I couldn't recall the next scene after Gluttony ate the priest who saw Envy change back to a palm tree from Father Cornello.

"Mac? You all up there Mac?" Jean snapped his fingers in front of my face as he said this, distracting me from my anxious thinking. I blinked a few times, feigning a startled expression.

"Sorry, did you say something?" Hughes ruffled my hair - for a moment I thought back to Gracia but quickly shook myself from the sad thought of being away from the 'normal' of this world. "Don't touch my hair Hughes." I hissed threateningly, looking to the others for an answer.

"We'll be going with the Lieutenant Colonel to the crime scene, you'll be with Havoc. We plan on meeting up here around dinner time if things go smoothly." I ran a hand through my hair, unintentionally pulling out a few white strands that I observed before tossing them onto the floor. This stress was starting to get to me.

"Oh, okay." It then occurred to me that I'd be spending the whole day with Jean Havoc - to some, that might have been a dream come true, to others, a living nightmare. For me, it was a mix between the two. Denny was looking at me as if I had just signed my own death sentence, which concerned me greatly.

"Sure you'll be okay Irish?" He asked, his bright green eyes alight with caffeinated coffee and worry. I snorted in laughter as we excused ourselves from our table and headed back to the metal deathtrap known in this time period as a 'car'.

"Whatever could go wrong will, but that's nothing new."

Masterlist

Task 1: A Week of Freewrites...

(1/7) So basically i have to do this free write and because of that i don’t really know I feel like my ideas are going to come across really badly but I’m going to try not to think about that and instead I’m going to think about the environment and climate change and how scary that is and how fucked we are and how 

much earthquakes in London made me realise that. So its scary because whenever it is warm we joke and are like ‘yay climate change’ but actually don’t really acknowledge the scariness of that and it is dead scary like it is this huge impending doom thing but we don’t care because our generation will probably be dead and it comes down to this whole idea of legacy for me. like who will visit my grave. Why would i actually care because I’m not going to be around, and if we are completely selfish creatures which i kind of believe we are even though i really don’t want to believe then we are only going to care if it makes us feel good. Like that friends episode where joey asks phoebe to find a deed that isn’t selfish and she can’t then in the end she does but its still a cop out because you can still see it as selfish because she’s getting something out of it but then it depends on the motives I guess. Even though friends is a fucking homophobic and other things sort of program its got that classic ‘it was a different time vibe’ and its us who get the oooh political correctness ruins all humour thing when actually i think people are more empathetic now so maybe climate change will be considered but are we already too fucked to do anything? Probs. (5.00.44 secs)

(2/7) In earthquakes in London there is a line that Robert says about something like the earth only being able to manage 1 billion people and there are 6 billion people so eventually it’ll balance out and basically cause the mass killing of 5 billion people and fucking hell i can’t get my head around it. It’s like when the news says numbers of death and everyones sort of like meh but actually when 1 person you love or even just know dies it fucks you up so why are we so frivolous towards the idea of the death of millions? like with the refugee crisis oh my god it drives me nuts but then again what am I doing that everyone else is not? Am i being super lazy? if it was someone i knew there would be nothing i wouldn’t do so why the hell am I sat in uni right now writing this stuff when I could be doing something? I think everyone feels a bit powerless and pretending it doesn’t exist is so much easier. You can be happier this way. When you open yourself up to the problems of the world it is enough to kill you. Like Sarah Kane, if she remained shut off to the world she may not have written anything that reached the amount of people it did but she would probably still be alive? maybe thats a bold statement but who cares this is just for me anyway. But we shut ourselves off to climate change because it fits our lifestyle. It is so convenient to buy a bottle of water and convenience has become ‘progression’ for us but that doesn’t mean its right. We are destroying everything to make an artificial world and I’m drinking from a bottle that I’ll recycle under the false illusion that i am doing something when really what does that matter. (05.13.72 secs)

(3/7) Okay I’m going and I’m writing and I watched something on Ellen about a 5 year old who knew an incredible amount of geography and he was the most adorable little kid and anyway he drew maps of the world and things he associated with places he would put on the map. E.g he put pyramids in Africa and in Antarctica he put a big ice berg melting and a little ice cube next to it. weird how aware a kid can be but also not scared at all because I guess he doesn’t know what there is to be scared of? Its weird like imagine that Scooby doo characters actually spoke about shit like this that would be way too deep or would it i don’t know. I guess how much can you inform your child? Surely it would just fuck them mentally if they were to know all of the scary stuff that will happen in their life times. Kids don’t care about voting because what will be will be but its like with trump and his complete denial of climate change do you think if kids knew they would have to live through it and that the president who was chosen doesn’t care would they maybe speak up?? I don’t know this feels like its gone a bit strange but its weird because kids are so simple in the best way I feel like they could solve all of the problems in the world. Lets make a five year old president and see how we get on. I’m sure there would be lots of crap but i bet there would be some gold in there, there has to be somewhere in it because they are untouched, not conformed yet, i love it. (05.02.58 secs)

(4/7) So being vegan is kinda something I want to do but also I don’t. Esme does it really well and it makes complete sense and I hate myself for not pushing myself to do it more. I don’t understand how everyone is still eating meat (myself included) without guilt now. Maybe in my head I have a weird perception on how much we have come forward in terms of empathy and compassion but I don’t know, I just thought we were past it. I think if I ever do end up having kids I will raise them as vegetarians because surely its easier for a kid to go from being veggie to eating meat if they so choose rather than the other way round. Everyone see’s it as a big sacrifice and I do get it but really lets get real its not that much of a fucking sacrifice, like there are people who can’t afford any food, if you have the privilege to be able to choose what you eat and what harm comes of it surely that is something to appreciate? I don’t know I’ve gone on a weird table again and now I’m thinking about balloons because i said babble also I can’t stop sneezing maybe its the london air haha. Everyone up North talks about how grim London air is and it kind of made me want to get one of those masks some tourists wear but I don’t think I have the confidence oh my god i keep sneezing it won’t stop maybe i should close my windows for a bit this is really distracting to be honest. (05.01.63 secs)

(5/7) So Jon Lee does really good lectures on consumerism, well they aren’t on consumerism but its mixed in you know? It always results a bit of a crisis, and the other day he spoke about ho we just try to consume everything. Its weird because in the Bry week we spoke about this and how we aim to make our bodies clean and I bought a blender and felt fucking brilliant about it when actually it was just the illusion of productivity. It’s like buying stationary and new clothes and shit trying to remodel you into a new you/ New year, new you etc. But anyway, yeh so the idea of consuming everything I think is interesting because it shows people as completely selfish and I just imagine like when whales open their moves and take in as much as possible. Then I think of pinochio but its strange why can’t we just care for people not objects and surely the world would be nicer, we consume consume consume but when does that stop does it ever? Do we consume people, I suppose yes certainly in the idea of celebrity and things like that. Example, Bry when she does her work people try to consume her being and it makes me so angry she is real and she is human she isn’t yours to own as a trophy in any pretentious way.  Its bullshit it makes me so mad. (05.04.22 secs)

(6/7) Oil and the pool of oil at the Tate that Sam said about. Isn’t that just the stupidest thing to make a point about climate change by using a pool of oil? I suppose maybe its not real oil but Sam said it was so i think that is just a bit stupid. Oil we keep coming back to oil. Oil and black treacle and ink in water and spreading it over, drowning in it. It can be so beautiful but destruction often is. Its so grotesque but we love it. Especially artists they love the grotesque they want it all and they want it exclusively. They want to take ownership of that feeling they give you. Like the guy who managed to get the darkest pigment of black paint to ever exist but refuses to let any other artist buyout so another artists created the most saturated pink and sold it to any artist except the one refusing to sell the black paint. I love that story. It says a lot about humans doesn’t it? It gives you a bit of hope because you see the good outcome after the bad but if you flip it then actually it become a very sad story. Ha I guess thats probably quite a stupid point but oh well lets just run with it because I know i’ve got about 30 seconds or so left of this free write and I’m trying to keep my head in oil ha head in oil that would be gross. It’s like that dream I had of getting stuck in a pool of jelly ugh I hated it. (05.07.87 secs)

(7/7) Heads exploding because of air pressure, big big tsunamis carrying houses off of the ground, murky skies murk murk murk black and grey and brown and horrible and muggy temperature. Its scary because its real but its also like a horror movie. I don’t want to believe it because it’ll make me feel home sick like when I used to stay at Mami and Papi’s house. I miss the world and the comfort zone and that will be unchangeable and its not dying its knowing that I never have the life option to see my mum and have christmas at home or watch my little brother and sister grow its not wanting to live its fear of missing out even in a world full of Donald Trumps and cults and scary horrible things there is absolutely nothing at all without the vital EARTH. if we can manage 1 billion and currently have 6 billion it is inevitable that we won’t be able to hold our balance for much longer and masks and hazmat suits and underground shelters may be there to protect but then what life will you lead. This is penultimate this is fucking terrifying and yet we do nothing and we are still doing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing nothing. (05.01.40 secs)