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writing-with-gremworm · 7 months

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Train Wreck Pup, Adopted

Here's a little thing I wrote based on a TikTok I saw a while back. Crewel was the first character I thought of, so I decided to make a very indulgent fanfic chapter based on the concept. It's a modern AU and Ren, the Insert/reader, meets him on a train. This is probably the longest piece of singular writing I'll post for a long time, but oh well.

Notes:

Crewel is a platonic/filial Soft!Yandere

Epel, Vil, and Neige show up in the latter half.

Non-Canon characters feature prominently.

This follows Indulgent FanFic tropes

Non-Canon Yanderes are included

This Universe has a fairly high density of Yanderes even if they don't showcase such features in the segment of the story.

Inclusion of a character sibling

TW: Yandere (In the latter half), Swearing, Mild Violence

“An E-Mail? Was I denied entry into the event? … Woah, Woah! I got in!! I still need a few more designs, but I can start actually putting some of these looks together in the frenzy! This is so cool.” I hop up from my chair and twirl around a few times, stopping and excitedly shaking my hands. “Yay! Oh, shoot- I need to leave tonight- Thank you organizers for the free ticket. But aaaahhh rushed prep time!” I add after glancing back at the E-mail.

Before long I’m out the door with a suitcase in one hand and my sketchbook in the other ready to board the train. While waiting for the train I open my phone and glance at the rules for the Flash Forward Frenzy fashion event

“Oh right, I should message Vera later. I can do that on the train. Rules first.” I mumble.

The event surrounded using old materials to create new looks. Clothes that were maybe used once and thrown away were collected to be used and made into outfits we could wear. The event itself was a massive hit, it was always fun to watch people create incredible things out of the most unexpected materials. But it was an even more exciting time this year since the esteemed Divus Crewel, Vil Shoenheit, and Neige LeBlanche were going to be there as guest stars designing alongside smaller names like myself.

I am well aware of the fact that I’m unlikely to run into big-name figures like Divus or Vil, but I’m excited to see their works regardless. Vil is also a prominent actor, so I’m certain that his presentation of works will have an air of drama and intrigue. My designs aren’t going to be as glamorous, but they will be different and interesting. I’m confident that they’ll fill in someone else’s niche desires if nothing else. Luckily the rules don’t say anything again the use of magic to process fabrics. Given this, I can use my ability to create a base from the drawings I’ve already made and the necessary fabrics and thread, which are provided for the event. I can only do this once or twice per day for extremely complex ideas due to the amount of magic it takes. I don’t want to risk an over-blot from excess magic use on stage, so I’ll save magic for my most intricate piece.

My thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of the train. The ride is twelve hours with various stops between here and the Glamour Isle. Needless to say, I have plenty of time to work on more concepts while I’m on the train. After about two hours someone sits next to me, but I don’t look at them since I’m busy and that could be rude. At some point in time, I hear a familiar disapproving sigh from their general direction. I ignore it at first to finish my sketches and notes for a piece from my fantasy set.

“Why does it sound so familiar though?” I mumble to myself before glancing over to where I heard the sigh. It feels like my face should contort in surprise when I realize who it is, but surprisingly I just stare blankly for a moment before shaking my head.

“Ah sorry for staring.” I quickly mumble as Divus Crewel of all people looks back at me and smiles with a tinge of concern, “You must be on your way to Glamour Isle too then?” I mumble awkwardly. I already knew that he was going in that direction, but I didn’t know what else to say since I had already begun to engage in a, perhaps one-sided, conversation.

“You don’t plan on wearing something like that in Glamour Isle do you?” Divus asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Ah, I mean I think this is fine? My work is going to be center stage with everyone else’s, I don’t really need to stand out, just my work does.”

“My my, and you have such an interesting design palette too. A pup like you would do well with proper grooming. No show dog looks scruffy on stage my dear, and neither should you.” Did he compare me to a show dog? Wait, he’s actually talking to me? I mean he’s belittling my pathetic messy dad aesthetic, but like, he’s talking to me?

“Ah- well. Yes. You’re correct, but in the case of show dogs, the stage is set for them to display their obedience, finesse, and beauty. I don’t see how this correlates to me specifically when a fashion show is about fashion and its resonance with the models and crowd. But I appreciate the compliment. I’m quite proud of my capabilities and I’m excited to share them.” I start a little nervous before settling into a matter-of-fact tone.

“Little pup, fashion is about far more than just aesthetics. Appearance has a larger impact than you may realize. As an aspiring designer, it’s important to note the politics as well.”

“I suppose that makes sense. Thank you for the advice. I’ll make sure to keep it in mind.” I say with a small smile. I look back at my work and sketch for a bit longer before giving my hands a break and doing quick hand exercises. I can’t help but glance over at Divus a couple of times after that just to see if he’s still judging my fashion or whatever caught his attention before. This was starting to feel like a dream. For one, no one was approaching Divus Crewel which is unusual, but he was sitting next to me to attend the same event which meant he might take a closer look at my work. Around the four-hour mark, Divus spoke to me again.

“It’s good to be serious about your work, but you still have a couple of days until the event takes full swing. For now, you should rest or you’ll be exhausted when you reach the Isle. Pups that exhaust themselves needlessly miss playing with their owners.” He chimes leaning back leisurely but still exuding elegance and an air of authority.

“I’ll be fine. But thank you for your concern.” I say after a small pause allowing me to process what just happened.

“There aren’t going to be many passengers in this train car. That can quell your concerns about taking up space or being a bother if that is what holds you back.” Divus states confidently.

“Ah, well that is one thing. But I’ve always had difficulties sleeping in moving vehicles. I can close my eyes and drift a bit, but any unusual movement or stop will jolt me awake. I’m not sure how much that little bit of rest would help haha.” I explain after a few moments of silence. I didn’t want to lie to him or come up with something that he could feasibly change for me that I just didn’t realize. I already felt like I was accruing debt by talking to him quite frankly.

“Have you ever ridden this train before? I think you’ll find that you can hardly tell when it has stopped.” I think back to earlier when the train stopped and Divus walked onto the train. He was right, it had not been super noticeable. In fact, it was so difficult to tell that I almost didn’t realize anyone got on until he sat next to me.

“Huh, I guess you’re right. I didn’t really notice when the train stopped to let you on. I mean, of course, the sound stopped, but there was enough other white noise from the lights and other cars that it didn’t register.” Though of course now I was far more worried about bothering the Divus Crewel rather than actually being tired. Naturally, I didn’t want to say that out loud though, it might be irritating. He must have noticed somehow though because his next words were:

“Don’t concern yourself with bothering me. I was the one who suggested you rest. You should simply follow my instructions like an obedient pup. I’ll even set an alarm for you if you’re a good boy.” What followed was an amused chuckle as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. I open my mouth to speak but instead let out a sigh and mumble a small thank you and smile before placing my sketchbook on my lap and leaning back in my seat. Divus stifles another laugh but the tapping indicates he really did set a timer for me. It’s strange to be so pampered by a celebrity. Though honestly, I doubt we’ll chat much after this, I didn’t even give him my name.

– Somehow I manage to fall asleep. I even begin to dream. Once in a while, I have vivid dreams that I recall after waking up. This already felt like one of them because I knew I was dreaming. “Oh good boy, you’re here on time. I wanted to introduce you to one of my students. I’m sure you’re well aware of who he is so there is no need for me to elaborate.” Divus states with a flourish of his hand gesturing to the Vil Shoenheit. “Ah, Vil Shoenheit, of course, why wouldn’t it be? It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Ren.” I mumble tiredly with a little wave. Vil crosses his arms and places a hand on his chin thoughtfully. “I see, I can salvage this, no, I will polish it into a diamond.” Vil nods lightly with an expression revealing he is already planning my demise. I mean my prettification. “Salvage? Polish? Wait- Divus- Sorry Crewel, did you want me to meet him to fix my wardrobe?” “You catch on quite quickly. But there’s a bit more to it than that. You’ll be working together on a project I have in mind. I expect only the best from you pups.” “Wait what?” Vil and I ask at the same time. Then the dream just ends. –

I wake up to the sound of quiet chatter and the alarm.

“Good evening,” I mumble groggily before sitting up. It takes me a moment to realize that sitting up means I either fell over or leaned over in my sleep, “Ah I’m sorry, I usually don’t move much in my sleep so I didn’t expect to fall over or anything.” I mumble apologetically.

“Perhaps you should have laid down from the beginning. You’d be less likely to hit your head that way. But you did sleep, so good boy. We’ll be arriving at the next stop in about half an hour.” Crewel informs me.

“Haha, yeah maybe. Ah, thank you.” I mumble before noticing my sketchbook isn’t in my hands, “Wait where did it go?” I mumble looking around before noticing that Crewel was holding it. I feel my face flush out of embarrassment. I doubt he looked through it, but I can’t help but feel a little bit flustered that he could have.

“I did look through a couple of designs,” Oh no, “They’re quite intriguing. I expect only the best from you during the event.” Oh no he looked through them. But he liked them so that’s good. But also why did he look through them? “I don’t think I caught your name earlier.” He adds with an expectant smile.

“Oh um- I’m Ren. I’m already familiar with you and your designs, it would be more surprising if I wasn’t. I’m glad you have such high expectations for me, it’s quite the compliment. Though I’m not sure I’ll match them. Thank you Crewel.” I say quickly, stumbling over my words a few times and rubbing the back of my neck.

“So that’s how you gathered I would be going to Glamour Isle as well. I’m a little surprised you didn’t ask for my autograph or bombard me with questions considering you ended up in my train car.”

“Wait- your train car?” I mumble before thinking things over, “Oh, OH, that’s why you said no one else would be here, no one else was supposed to be here. I can’t believe I just barged in I’m so sorry, you could have asked me to leave. I didn’t mean to invade your personal space.”

“Calm down little pup. Had I wanted you to leave I would have instructed you to do so. If you weren’t obedient I would have gotten them to take the rabid pup away.” Crewel states a bit amused, gesturing to the other figures in the train car.

“Ah right, they must have been your people then, or otherwise people with the association running the event to ensure your comfort. But I was here for two hours before you. Why didn’t they just ask me to leave then?”

“You’re not exactly intimidating, you’re also a child are you not?”

“Um … I’m not a child, actually I’m 20.”

“You are? Then you’re a bit older than most of my other pups, though your height wouldn’t give that away. You may be even shorter than Riddle. No matter, you weren’t a threat, and it’s clear you’re more interested in work than causing trouble.”

“Still though …” I start before thinking it over. Had they wanted me to leave this car they’d have taken me out. So I guess I had accidentally gotten permission to be here. Additionally, this chance encounter was going to be one of the most memorable meetings, so I’m not really upset about being here.

“Well since you were fine with it, thank you for letting me stay. It’s a lot quieter than the other cars would have been I’m sure.” I mumble with a small smile before opening my phone to review the E-Mail again. The organizers had established a room I would be staying in as well, which was awesome and unlike any other event I had attended.

“Do you know where the Glamrock Hotel is?” Crewel asks before I can look it up.

“Ah, no I’ve never been to Glamour Isle for an event before, so I don’t know where anything is actually,” I admit rubbing my neck again.

“Well as a teacher I suppose I should guide you,” Crewel states a bit amused with the strange logic he’d presented me.

“Uh- well I guess technically that would be accurate. You’re being quite generous. Hm, you said earlier to think about politics, what exactly do you gain from helping me? Not that there has to be an ulterior motive, but I am curious.”

“You catch on quite quickly little pup. Though I’m not asking for anything but your time at this moment. Additionally, If you meet my expectations like a well-trained pup, I’ll be in touch after the event.” Crewel says with an amused grin. I wasn’t sure why he was so amused, but I was certainly pumped to make the most beautiful set of outfits I could muster. The last half an hour felt like it flew by. Somehow I was making small talk with Divus Crewel in what I now knew was technically his private train car with trained mages around us. It was fantastical in nature and my heart was beating like crazy.

After we arrived on the Isle, Crewel accompanied me to the hotel because we were going to stay at the same hotel. It was strange but so cool. Admittedly if he was anyone else I would be wondering if he was trying to groom me, the negative kind, not taking care of myself grooming. But Crewel is well known to be skilled and generous, and his gestures were by no means romantic or sexual in nature, if anything it was like he was going to adopt a new puppy. Also, he had set up a number of events and attended even more as a guest and he did not tolerate nonsense. Had I bothered him, it’s possible I wouldn’t be in Glamour Isle, I’d be home.

Either way, when I made it to my room I smooshed my face into a pillow and let out sounds of pure excitement before pacing around my room and flapping my hands in excitement.

“Aaaahhh, I can’t believe the Divus Crewel spoke to me. This is awesome, I’m so nervous but excited for how this event is going to turn out oh my god.”

Since I slept on the train I wasn’t very tired so I decided to work on my designs a bit more and do some extra research before going to bed. When I did sleep I ended up having the same dream as before. I woke up early and reviewed the E-Mail again to make sure that I was keeping the dates organized in my head.

After taking a shower and changing into something slightly less dad-core, but still technically awful, I hear a knock on my door. I blink a few times before checking the peephole.

“!” I silently scream seeing the Divus Crewel on the other side. I quickly open the door before he knocks again and he grimaces upon seeing me.

“I couldn’t erase your disaster of a wardrobe from my mind, We’re going to fix … this. At least temporarily.” Crewel motions to all of me.

“Oh thanks, I’m so glad you remembered me for dressing like an unfashionable dad. But this is about the best I have in my suitcase. Wait, is this what you meant by asking for my time?” I admitted frowning a bit and looking over my outfit. It really wasn’t that bad, even normal one might say. Despite the dad-core vibes, it was definitely wearable.

“How astute an observation. Grab some of the clothes you aren’t attached to and come along little pup, this is going to be a very busy day.”

He was right of course. As soon as I followed him out of my hotel room I could tell he would be. He listed the plans for the day in order. It was kind of nice to be doted on in a weird sort of way. Though I was confused as to why I had Crewel’s attention at this point. There was no way he would actually keep in contact and introduce me to Vil Shoenheit after the event. It was just a weirdly realistic dream after all. Things are just weirdly lining up like that might be at all possible when I’m sure it is just Crewel being kind. Yes, just kindness.

Following that, our busy day started by heading to breakfast followed by a trip to the hair salon. After my hair was tidied up, though still the same hairstyle, we went to a number of different stores. All of them were sustainable and gave store credit for every item you traded in. Once he’s established the style I was comfortable with we found a few different outfits that looked good scattered throughout various stores. Each of the pieces could be rearranged, but they were notable on their own. Each pairing made a different feeling and it was very clear that some enhanced aesthetic while others undermined it. Some of the dark academia and cottage core pieces did not work well together.

After finding outfits and trading away my old clothes he took me to find accessories. I insisted that I should pay for everything, but he refused and simply stated that I can bring my ideas into reality well to pay him back. I can’t tell if that feels more like a compliment or a threat, but it’s certainly flattering. Somehow we fit all of that in before lunch and there was still more to do. By the end of everything I was exhausted, though extremely grateful.

“I’ll make the best version of my designs possible. That’s what you’re asking for in return right?” I ask on the trip back to the hotel.

“Good boy, you listen well. I’ll see what you can do in two days when it begins.” Crewel responds with a nod and a slight smile. – It's time for the event. We have two days to complete four outfits as a complete set using the magic tools and our own abilities to complete them as quickly but skillfully as possible. It's a challenge that many enjoy watching and admire. I’m a little nervous to be on TV, but I think that if I focus solely on my craft I can make it. Especially since I can essentially focus on one and use magic to create another since it's two separate days and I only need four outfits.

Now that I reviewed the game plan it feels less intimidating. The curtain opens to reveal the piles of clothes and materials we have access to before letting up find what we need. A few of the others sort through the pile with magic to locate exactly what they need. I sort through them by hand and feel the fabric textures before taking them back to my station where my assigned tools sit.

At the six-hour mark, we’re given an hour-long lunch and bathroom break. I definitely needed the food since I skipped breakfast. After the break, we get immediately back into work for the remaining six hours of that day. I finish the first piece two hours into the second half and use magic to form most of the second one before detailing it during the four remaining hours. By the time the timer goes off, I have two of the four outfits complete even. Additionally, I still have more fabric that can be used for parts of the first outfit for the next day set up at my station.

The next day I arrive early and notice that something is wrong with the more complicated outfit. Someone had cut it up. It was like a nightmare. It completely ruined my plan to make the clothes as efficiently as possible. Frustrated and upset I wanted to cry, but instead, I decided to improvise and alter the design slightly to include the visualization of the cuts rather than attempt careful and seamless mending. It takes two hours and I lose another hour finding more fabrics. So I decided to reorganize my magic use and create two bases with as much detail as I can manage before reaching my magic limit.

But the half point of the second day I’m exhausted but I manage to gain enough energy to finish and add the final details to the four outfits before the timer runs out. I stumble a bit feeling a bit nauseous now that the magic use and intense focus for twenty-four hours total were exhausting. After the timer goes off I sit down and wait for almost everyone else to leave before one of the people associated with the event walks over to me. I ask them to make sure that no one tampers with my outfits again overnight since someone had cut up mine and perhaps other people’s outfits the night before. They agree to tighten security and make sure that it was impossible for it to happen again. A bit uncertain of how successful they would be I start thinking of ways to justify asking to fix my outfits quickly before the show if I had to.

Using my magic to its fullest two days in a row was really pushing it. If I did so again I might end up sick. I don’t think that over-blots are supposed to make you sick. But it is convenient that I don’t go into a destructive frenzy overtaken by magic when I over-blot at least. I just almost die instead. Which I guess may be technically worse for me, but it is less awful for everyone else.

“Are you alright? I saw how tired you were earlier. I can get someone to help you back to your room, or you could stay in mine since it is on the first floor.” A familiar soft and slightly high-pitched voice asks. Looking at him I see it’s Neige LeBlanche.

“Ah I’m fine, thank you for your concern.” Why were all these celebrities so nice to me? I mean it has only been two so far, but that’s still a lot for me.

“Can I at least escort you to your room? You look a bit unsteady and I don’t want you to fall.” Neige voices his concern with a worried smile.

“There’s no need to go that far. I’m only on the second floor, so I’ll manage.” I say, though admittedly I was less confident about actually getting to the hotel than walking up a set of stairs.

“Then I’ll at least help you get to the hotel.” Neige insists.

“While that’s kind of you Neige, you don’t need to be concerned with them. I was already going to escort this pup back.” Crewel steps in unexpectedly. There’s no way that Crewel just told Neige LeBlanche that we were going to head back to the hotel together. It feels like a dad trying to keep a romantic interest away from his child. Which is funny because if anything he’s like a little brother. Well younger brother, he’s definitely a little taller than me.

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were acquainted with Divus.” Neige comments a little surprised.

“Crewel.” Crewel corrects.

“Crewel. But were you really planning on walking back with him?” Neige asks with doubt lingering over his words.

“Yes, we agreed to meet after the event since we had a chance encounter before this,” I explain, technically not lying, though assuming that since he came to find me he was impressed with my work.

“Oh, if that’s the case then we should meet again at some point too. I really admire your ability to work through challenges. Here, one moment.” Neige takes out his business card and hands it to me, “I hope you rest well tonight. You were Ren, right? I heard your conversation with the security personnel before.” That definitely sounded like an excuse, though I guess it’s possible for Neige to admire me. Just unlikely.

“Ah- yes my name is Ren. Well-”

“Well thank you Neige, but we should probably head back since the reveals and show are tomorrow. We wouldn’t want to be too tired now would we?”

“Ah yes of course. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you Ren, call the number on that card when you get the chance, I’ll see you around!” Neige leaves with his manager and a few guards.

“That was unexpected,” I mumble with a light sigh before remembering who was standing next to me.

“It was. Though I suppose he was right, you don’t look well. Perhaps I should carry you back.” Crewel muses.

“What? No there’s no need to carry me, I’ll be fi-” I begin before nearly falling over after another wave of exhaustion hits me. Crewel catches me.

“You’re small enough it won’t be an issue little pup. Besides which you look like you’re about to fall asleep. It would be unwise to travel on your own feet in that state. Tsk tsk, you really need to learn to take care of yourself.” He states picking me up bridal style.

“I- Thank you.” I conceded. I could tell he was right, I was exhausted. Even still I wanted to protest about how I didn’t want to owe him more, or how I didn’t think it was necessary. Despite those thoughts, my eyes were having trouble even staying open so I just closed them. – Before I knew it I was awake in my hotel bed, slightly disheveled and wearing my clothes from the night before.

“Oh. My. God. Did I fall asleep on Crewel again? Well I mean it wasn’t confirmed the first time but aaaahhh.” I immediately panic and place my hands over my face before realizing I need to get ready and look presentable for the showcase. “Ah, I don’t have time to panic,” I mumble before showering, dressing up, and eating an apple that was left on my bedside table with a small note not to skip breakfast in Crewel’s handwriting.

“Geeze, he really is like a dad at this point. It’s not like he adopted me as a pu- child though. It’s weirdly nice how comfortable he is to be around though.” I mumbled looking at the note with a bit of warmth filling my chest. It was nice to feel cared about.

With one big breath, I turn towards the door and head out. Though I had a weird feeling that something went wrong so I hurried to the venue where our outfits should be. I ask if I can check over my outfits quickly because they had been sabotaged before. Luckily I was let in since my outfits were all damaged in some way. It was devastating, and there wasn’t any fabric to fix them. Except for what I was wearing.

“I could use my coat and undershirt and still look mostly presentable while fixing them,” I mumble quietly, my voice shaking more than I wanted it to. Despite still feeling drained, I used my magic again, allowing it to flow through my fingertips to mend the fabric to the shape I desired it to with the fabric I was using in hand. It was a different colour, but the colour matched well enough that it looked intentional. Reaching the fourth outfit I could feel the strength in my legs waning, but I had to fix it.

Even if Crewel was already impressed, I wanted to fix this. To not let the stranger tampering with my work win. I needed to make them feel their efforts were wasted, that after everything I was fine. As my hands glided over the last portion that needed to be fixed a few people started coming in to check their outfits as well. Only mine had been tampered with. I felt my hands shaking as they let go of the now-mended fabric.

“Tsk tsk. What did I say regarding work and rest? Bad boy. You should ask for help if you’re in trouble.” Crewel scolds me before complimenting my handi-work, “It is well done, it looks intentional even. However, I can not condone overworking yourself because of the security’s lack of competence.”

“Haha, I remember. But I didn’t want to let whoever did this feel as if they’d won. I can’t let them feel like they’ve won. I don’t even know why they could be so upset with me.” Unless it is one of my old friends. They seemed to think the worst of me. But they wouldn’t do anything this devastating, would they? Well, Rachel might, but shockingly I didn’t see her here. I would have noticed someone I actively avoid.

“Hm, well your determination is a valuable asset. I suppose it’s a good thing I’m also a potions master. This will sustain you for the duration of the showcase, however, you must rest for the next couple of days.” Crewel states handing me a potion he had on hand, “Sigh. I can’t believe you used some of your only decent clothes because of this. I’ll have to start from square one training this pup. Don’t make this a habit.”

“Wait training?” I ask after downing the potion in one gulp.

“Yes, I’ll be taking you under my wing little pup. As you may have surmised you have impressed me. Though this still needs fixing.” Crewel again motioned to all of me. Suddenly I was reminded of my dream from the past few nights.

“Hey, this may sound weird. But by any chance is Vil Shoenheit also one of your pupils who happens to be the one who may or may not be responsible for fixing my self-care habits and everyday wear?” I ask before the potion fully kicks in.

“Oh? So the little pup is already aware. He must have spoiled the surprise, I’ll have to punish him later.”

“Ah, no, I’ve just had this weird recurring dream about meeting Vil Shoenheit under your tutelage. I wasn’t going to ask initially, I guess being tired made me voice my thoughts. But I haven’t actually met Vil yet.” I explain quickly. Crewel furrows his brows for a moment before an expression of realization covers the confusion.

“Ah, so you’re good at pattern recognition. It’s not uncommon knowledge that Vil is one of my pupils, and you took note of the fact I was treating you well. You’ll be an excellent student. If you pick up on things this quickly anyways. I expect only good things from you.” Crewel states with an almost proud smile before motioning me to come with him to his waiting room where a screen displaying the showcase was attached to the wall.

He discusses specifics with me while we wait for the showcase to reach the point where we all enter the stage and talk about our work and inspirations. Excluding Vil, Neige, and Crewel, the rest of us attending the event are lined up in order to head out second. The three notable guests head out to speak first.

“Sustainability in fashion is one of the greatest difficulties of this industry. But with the systems set up here in Glamour Isle, fashion waste is dwindling away and instead becoming fashion fuel. Isn’t that just incredible? Imagine all of the incredible things you can curate with such an array of fabrics, Imagine how much you can do exchanging materials and creating your personalized unique looks!” Neige starts, excitedly chattering about the benefits of sustainable fashion. Crewel and Vil both elaborate on this to varying degrees before everyone else is brought out and stood next to the models wearing their outfits.

I don’t notice the concerned look that Neige gives me. But I notice the fury of a familiar contestant near me. It was Dev-Ay. One of my ex-friends that happens to despise me. It shouldn’t be surprising that they’re here, they’ve always been skilled. But it does sting to think that they might have been so certain I was worth tormenting that they cut up my outfits. It also tells me that I probably didn’t notice people as much as I thought I would.

“I agree that sustainability and curating styles in this way are essential to bettering our society. It’s one of the reasons I was so excited to be a part of this project. Despite the unlikely mishaps, I had a blast creating designs influenced by the types of sustainable fabrics already being developed. It’s fascinating how through the use of orange peels or kelp beautiful sustainable fabrics can be created. My theme was Future Fantasy. Playing off of the alliteration of the event title, I wanted to curate looks that inspired the fantastical embrace of the future and the stories that such a future can hold. Imagine a sustainable world with glorious personalized fashion made for you. Fashion that makes you feel good and can aptly aid in your self-expression.” I begin as coherently as I can manage. Somehow my voice remains steady. Perhaps it is the desire to show Dev-Ay I am unaffected, or perhaps it was because I wanted to impress Crewel. But either way, I seemed to speak with a charisma I didn’t think I had. There was a prolonged moment of silence after I finished speaking before finally the live audience began to clap following Crewel’s and Neige’s examples. Their applause felt louder than any I had heard for me before and more impactful as it addressed my creations, it validated my ideas not some lame school speech. It was unexpected. Especially since afterward, the applause was noticeably quieter for the now flustered and disorganized Dev-Ay.

After the showcase, I felt my energy start to deplete rapidly. I figured that the potion was starting to wear off. Hopefully, I wouldn’t fall in front of Dev-Ay, I don’t want to give him fuel to berate me. While everyone else was chatting as the audience left and the models change, Dev-Ay approached me.

“Why? Why is it that you of all people did so well? Why couldn’t you just fold as you used to? Are you so proud now? Are you so proud after falsely accusing the one person that I love? You’ll never be anything but a pathetic liar who tears down other people. Are you upset because at least she liked being a girl? Were you mad that you couldn’t escape something that she accepted? Fuck you, fuck your whole fake-ass messaging. I despise you. I wish you would take a dive off the roof like you so badly wanted to before we were friends.” It took me a while to find the words I wanted to say. I didn’t know exactly what to say honestly. If he blamed me, then was there any way he would listen to me? Would he believe I was making excuses simply because I wanted to look good? Did he really want me to die because of this? Regardless I found my mouth moving before I could stop it.

“I don’t understand what my gender identity has to do with my distaste for Rachel. I was never upset at Rachel because she was cisgender. I think you of all people should understand that. Why are you so convinced that I lied to you? Do you love her so much you couldn’t see what she did to me? Has she never crossed your boundaries as she did to me? Or did you believe I actually withheld the information she conveniently forgot? That she claimed she forgot. I could be wrong. There is always the chance I misread her, but she hurt me and crossed my boundaries. I won’t go into the specifics again because you stopped listening to me years ago. But there’s no reason you should be this upset with me. The only way I hurt her was by telling her exactly what she had done and telling her that I couldn’t stay friends with her. I wasn’t wrong for standing up for myself like you never did for me. Your ability to trust seems like a blessing, but it may be a curse.” I respond with quiet, seething frustration, trying to remain as calm as possible but inevitably speaking poisonously. Before I know it I’m on the ground with blood pouring from my nose and a sore jaw. It takes me a moment to register what just happened. I try to get back up to my feet, but I can’t even move my legs to stand.

“Ren!” Neige called out with concern causing all eyes to turn toward Dev-Ay, Neige, and me. I bite my lip before trying desperately to tell my legs to move, but they simply shake beneath me on the floor as if they’re too scared to move. Too afraid that maybe they’re going to be hit next rather than my face.

“Dev-Ay. I was sincere when I told you I enjoyed being your friend and I was grateful for everything you had done for me.” I start, looking up at Dev-Ay who is clenching his hands into fists, “I don’t regret being friends with you, or stopping our friendship. I know that it was the right thing for me to do. I understand your anger. No, I understand that you are angry because you believe something I can not possibly fathom. But I never hated you. All I ask is that you let what happened to us remain in the past, it doesn’t benefit anyone to retain anger built on, at best, miscommunication.” I manage to say, smiling at Dev-Ay knowing it would make him angrier. Before he can respond Crewel and a few security officers walk over. The officers detain Dev-Ay who screams about how vile I truly am.

“That looks really bad Ren. Oh no, let me get some help.” Neige states with worry.

“I’ll take them to the nearest medic. You should calm the onlookers down.” Crewel states before picking me up again.

“Hah, I feel like a kid who got in a fight, and their overprotective dad came to pick them up,” I mumble in my exhausted delirium. The pain wasn’t even present anymore, I was just tired and numb.

“Haha, well I’ve taken a liking to you. Though next time someone punches you, bite back. Especially if it’s going to impact your precious face. You certainly have the charisma to back it up.”

“Aw, dad called me precious hehe. Thank you, you’ve really pampered me like a lil’ puppy while I was here. I feel weirdly comfortable with you. Man, I don’t want to fall asleep for a third time on you. It’s rude to use a celebrity like a pillow. And I’m not that charismatic, I’m just a bit silly.” I mumble with a yawn.

“You can fall asleep. You need it, and that potion, while good for a short time, does make you even more tired than before you use it. You did well, little pup. Though we have some training to do so you can do better in the future.”

“… Thank you,” I mumble quietly, avoiding leaning on Crewel with my bloody face as much as possible. I suppose he didn’t want the incompetent security to carry me this time, though I don’t know why he was compelled to carry me before. He really is like a father figure. I wish that I’d met him sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have run into Rachel then. But I guess if I met him earlier I may have just been another kid, not someone of note.

The rest of the trip to a medic is in silence. When we get there the lady is nice and heals me with the stipulation that I rest for a solid two days to regain my energy. She asks if I have a guardian, to which I say of course, and that I will be fine under their care. Though how much of that will be true when I go back home is left to be decided. I don’t stay awake for too much longer, though I do hear a vague murmur of Crewel’s voice and phone chatter before I drift off to sleep.

– “Oh wow! This is amazing. Ren, you have to work with me on the next partner event that comes up. I would love to work with you!” Neige states as the dream fades into view. “Thank you. I’m quite flattered. Your designs are excellent as well.” I comment with a small smile before explaining that while it would be nice to work together I had already promised to work with someone else for the next event. Before I hear Neige’s reaction the dream shifts suddenly and I am in a cage. “I still love you you know. I was really hurt that you lied to Dev-Ya like that my sweet, adorable, Renny bird.” Rachel states with a certain sadness before reaching into the birdcage and caressing my face with her cold bony hands. “Why am I here?” I ask shakily before coughing a bit. My throat feels dry and my body feels cold. “Oh Renny, you know I can’t have you run away again. You’ll spread more lies and hurt more people. Unless I help you. Let me help you, I know I can fix you. Piece together the shattered pieces of you. Come here, I’ll give you a hug, just like before. We can make everything okay again.” Rachel says, her sickly sweet voice bouncing between the bars of the birdcage. I can’t say anything, I just stare at her as her arms elongate and weave through the bars to reach me. To touch me. To keep me trapped in this birdcage. –

I wake up with a start and sit up quickly before someone pushes me back into bed.

“What happened to you? Did you trip over the stairs? I warned you those long pants would make you fall dummy.” My sister Vera comments before sitting back down next to me, “Seriously though I was worried when I got a call to home about you being sick again. Did you overuse your magic?”

“Like you’re any better. Who are you to ask if I tripped on the stairs, didn’t you fall up a ramp that one time?”

“Oh shush you. You didn’t answer my question. What happened?”

“Dev-Ya punched me. I don’t know if he tried to sabotage my outfits yet, but I strongly suspect he was related to that too. Sorry I didn’t tell you about getting into the fashion thing. You weren’t home for a while anyways right?” I justify just recalling the fact I was planning on messaging her before and just didn’t.

“Ren, I wasn’t home sure, but you still should have told me! I would have come to see your work if it lined up with my work schedule.”

“Oh Vera, you’ll never guess who I met.”

“Oh really? Try me.”

“I met Divus Crewel.”

“Yeah I know that much, he was the one who called me. Imagine my surprise when the Divus Crewel was calling about my older sibling needing someone to drive them home. Bro, he asked if I was your older sister, how goofy were you to warrant that question?”

“Bro- It’s not my fault though. I just accidentally didn’t realize I got on the wrong train car and dressed enough like a hobo that he assumed I was a child.”

“Bro.”

“I know bro.”

“Going back a bit, I thought Dev-ya cut contact with you after that gross nasty did the bad thing I shall not name.”

“Oh yes, thank you for not naming the bad thing. But yeah, I thought nothing would come of it, but apparently, he was really mad at me. I wonder if Rachel encouraged this. I don’t think he would have acted as extreme otherwise.”

“I mean yeah maybe. But he was always kind of ick though.”

“I know, you were right. You’re always right when it comes to people.”

“Damn right I am.”

“Hey Vera, can you hand me my phone?”

“No, I can’t.” They say handing me the phone anyways. I smile at them lightly and open up my phone to check a few things. Firstly, if I had been contacted by Crewel since apparently he had found out my sibling’s number he may have found my contacts. Specifically “home” or otherwise Vera called my phone, but I couldn’t pick up because I was deliriously exhausted.

“Oh right, I was supposed to tell the Crewel you woke up. He acts more like your dad than our actual dad did haha.”

“Yeah, right? I was thinking the same thing. If he was still alive I wonder if that would have changed at all. I mean, it was really mom who was the worse parent, at least dad had an excuse.”

“I guess. But whatever, not the time. Time to message your ‘new dad’ since you seemed to have picked one up out of nowhere. You better not abandon me for another family.” Vera states rolling her eyes.

“Thanks, dad, and of course I won’t, you’re the only blood-related family I want to stay in contact with at the moment,” I say playfully rolling my eyes back at her.

Vera messages Crewel and much more quickly than I had anticipated he is in the room with us. We talked about a few things. Who Dev-Ya was, why he was so upset, what relation it had to my outfits, and why I lied about having a parental figure at home.

“Come to think of it. You’re a celebrity designer, you’re quite busy. Why did you come here directly to talk to us?” Vera asks.

“Well, while Ren is a student of mine, I was thinking that I could provide you with a better job as well and a place much closer to my design studio. If you’re all the other has, it would be rather cruel for me to separate you for a lengthy period of time. Despite how my name sounds, I’m not unreasonable.”

“Okay dad, sure thing. You’ve been really soft with me though. I don’t see how you would be. You just have high expectations right?”

“Say what you will little pup. I’m sure you’ll find I’m not as lenient as you seem to think I am. Also, Ren. How is it that your sister dresses so fashionably and you dressed as you called it in ‘an unfashionable dad aesthetic’?” Crewel asks, raising a brow.

“I uh, make their clothes and they take care of their skin better than I do,” I mumble slowly looking away from Crewel.

“I told them I don’t need to look nice either, but they insist that I should wear nicer clothes. I’m not a seamstress like them, I’m a watercolour painter. So I can’t just make them nice clothes to wear as they do for me.”

“But you look so pretty though, you definitely deserve all the nice things.”

“No, I don’t, you do.”

“No, I refuse, you do.”

“It looks like two little pups in need of some retraining.” Crewel breaks up what was about to become a battle of the no-yous, “Anyways, after Ren fully recovers, I’ll take you to your new home and explain the job I have for you in greater detail. That should be suitable for you I presume?”

“Excuse me, but why would you help us? Did you just adopt my sibling and say I could tag along?” Vera asks a little skeptical about this sudden favor toward us.

“I mean it’s not like he doesn’t gain anything. We’re both skilled artists who could contribute to his business and we’re in a position where it would be best if we joined him to gain the benefits we would from this.”

“Okay, I get that, but I still don’t understand why us.”

“While I don’t need a reason and this little gremlin child would technically owe me under other circumstances, I have my personal reasons for this predicament. Also, I am deeply concerned by the fact you trusted me so quickly. I will tell you the rest eventually, but for the moment I’m sure good pups won’t question me further.”

“Oh, you’ve yet to see gremlin Ren my newly adopted father figure. Now that I’ve fallen asleep near you like three times, I think it’s safe to say you’ll see weirdness soon. You don’t seem like a bad person though? I mean, you’ve had plenty of chances to make my life significantly worse, but you didn’t.” I laugh a bit. Vera raises a brow at me like they were saying, ‘Do you have no sense of danger child?’

“Gremlin Ren? Like when you said ‘Aw, dad called me precious’? I suppose you may simply be a good judge of character, though I’d still be more careful.”

“Hebba debba ha- Shoosh, we don’t talk about deliriously tired Ren, and sure, I could be more careful I guess,” I respond quickly, waving my arms vaguely in his direction.

“Bro.” Vera vocalizes her surprise, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

“Since we haven’t yet, Ren, let us exchange numbers so that I can contact both of you if need be. I’d rather not call your sister every time.”

“Oh alright, yeah that’d be good, we won’t always be together, so that wouldn’t have worked out every time anyways,” I respond before remembering I had Neige’s number somewhere too. I completely forgot to mention him to Vera before, oh well I can bring him up later. For some reason, I don’t feel like I should mention him in front of Dadus Crewel.

We exchange numbers and chat a bit about my health, fashion, and my sibling’s art. Vera ends up being quite flustered but flattered by the compliments she receives. It’s quite cute actually. Eventually, Crewel leaves and I’m left to rest with Vera making sure that I don’t skip any meals. She knows that I won’t eat if I don’t feel like getting up.

There was a lot to think about laying down. What was going to happen with Dev-Ya and Rachel? Would I have to tell Crewel about Rachel? How was it going to be learning under Crewel? Would Vera finally meet her Idol since we were going to be in the fashion industry? What did the dream with Neige and Rachel mean? I could probably figure out a couple of them. My dreams tend to be tied to reality, though upsetting things always end up more abstracted or represented by different characters. The thing with Neige may actually happen, or something similar will occur if I don’t spoil the surprise again. The more abstract representation of Rachel means I might meet her again. There’s no way that I would actually be trapped in a birdcage right? That seems quite unlikely despite how unhinged Rachel can be. I’ll probably have to tell Crewel about Rachel if I notice anything off like with the outfits. Though given his resources I may not be the first one of us to bring it up. Maybe I’ll wait until he asks me about it.

Two days pass slowly with the occasional conversation with my sister and her excitement about having a potentially less dull job soon. We vaguely touch on the fact she might meet her idol and then she wonders if she’ll have to hide her fanart of him before remembering that the only art she gets is of fictional characters so it's fine. Besides which there’s no way that Epel Felmier would ever see her room anyways right? By the end of the second day, I feel energized enough to start packing things up. Though I take care to pack my clothes separately from everything else just in case they’ll be confiscated for use as scrap materials. Not that they would, but considering Crewel’s judgemental glances, I have a feeling it isn’t an unreasonable concern.

Vera convinces me to call Crewel this time since she had to do so last time and he arrives equally as quickly as before with a few people to help us pack up. He motions for us to follow him while the movers grab all of our stuff in storage containers of various sizes and random boxes. On the way, Crewel discusses Vera’s position on the creative team designated to Epel and she literally gasps.

That evening when Crewel isn’t within earshot Vera tells me they hope he doesn’t notice them because they would never be able to talk to him well and might even accidentally refer to him as “baby girl” which they know he doesn’t like.

Unexpectedly our conversation takes a pause when I receive a message from Dev-Ya. He had been the one to block me initially, so I couldn’t imagine anything good would come out of whatever message he sent me. Especially since the last time we spoke, he punched my face. I didn’t open the message, but I read the first bit of it that was displayed on my phone screen from the notification.

[I want to meet up to apologize to you properly.] It began. I had a feeling that he didn’t actually want to apologize. Though I could be wrong, it doesn’t feel like something he would do.

“What’cha lookin’ at?” Vera asks, breaking the silence.

“An unexpected message.” I say vaguely frowning at my phone before shutting it off entirely for the moment, “I don’t really want to look at it though.”

“Oh, did Elliot message you again?”

“Not this time, no. Also, I blocked Elliot, I won’t be receiving his messages unless he does something to get around being blocked.”

“You seem to have a lot of enemies,” Crewel adds walking into the room with a pointer that has two collars attached to the other end of it. He was usually depicted with it, so it’s weird he didn’t have it at the event.

“Well, when you’re a doormat you tend to attract people who want to use you. Not that I am as much anymore, but it does sometimes feel like it would be easier to be one again.”

“That’s why I told you not to deal with them in the first place dummy,” Vera mutters.

“Are you sure you’re not the older sibling Vera?”

“Oh come on. Besides Vera is taller than me which automatically makes her the younger sibling.” I say playfully gesturing dramatically to Vera.

“That was because you were malnourished, you’re taller than me now,” Vera comments in turn with a small frown.

“Well I was going to get right to business, but I have a feeling we should discuss what happened with Dev-Ya on Glamour Isle.”

“I would be totally cool with skipping over that for now. Business stuff ooh.” I point finger guns in Crewel’s general direction.

“Oh wait, was that who messaged you?” Vera cuts in.

“What lead you to that conclusion? But yes, Dev-Ya texted me.” I sigh lightly rubbing the back of my neck anxiously.

“Well, that is concerning. What did he say?” Crewel asks, looking at me pointedly.

“I didn’t want it to pop up read so I only looked at the part that popped up in the notification. I don’t know what the rest says, but apparently, he wants to apologize. I doubt he means to apologize given how volatile our last meeting was.” I explain tiredly, rubbing my eyes and sighing.

“Bro block him. Gross. I bet Rachel told him to apologize so she can try to get back on your good side after ‘that’.”

“I figured much the same … I guess I should tell you who Rachel is now that we’re staying in your care huh? You certainly picked a puppy with a lot of problems.” I say with a small laugh before taking a deep breath and thinking about how to start.

“You are by no means obligated to give me your life story simply because I’ve brought you here. Though it would be helpful to identify people to avoid or deal with later.” Crewel responds, mumbling the last part and hitting his pointer against his hand.

“I didn’t catch that last bit, but I still feel like I should anyways. I won’t go into specifics, but essentially I was in a relationship where I would give as much as I could to make Rachel happy, but she never listened to me or returned the affection I gave. It got particularly bad at one point, but I won’t get into that. It messed with a lot of my friendships though since that became my standard. Elliot, who was mentioned earlier, is similar, but worse in some ways. I’m lucky I found out who he was before I met him in person though.” I explain vaguely, pausing a few times, wondering if I should be telling Crewel all of this. He practically adopted us, I’m not even sure how things worked out this well, but I couldn’t help but feel like as soon as he knew more he was going to throw me away.

“It looks like you were surrounded by some pathetic mutts. I’ll make sure they don’t show up around you. For now, you should probably block any of them you’ve yet to and stay focused on something that won’t keep your anxiety up. I’m sure that all deeply impacted you. No one goes through upsetting events unscathed. I don’t really do hugs, but you two can speak to me about anything that is troubling you. It’s one of the responsibilities I signed up for taking you in as my students. A teacher's job is to make sure his students thrive in the learning environment.”

“You’re definitely acting like a dad now. You don’t do hugs? What's with carrying me to a medic instead of letting someone else do it?”

“I’m not sure actually.”

“Oh? You’re not sure? Sounds likely fatherly instincts ooh.”

“…” Crewel doesn’t reply, he simply places a hand to his chin thoughtfully, placing the hand with the pointer in it against his elbow.

“Hey, Ren you should block those nasties.” Vera points out before I can react to Crewel’s silence. I had already forgotten that blocking people was mentioned so my mouth forms an ‘oh yeah’ before I turn my phone back on. It flashes on a full brightness before returning to the lowest setting where I usually have it.

“Ow, my eyes,” I grumble before going through and blocking the numbers I had yet to block. It was Dev-Ya’s and some guy named Teiran I didn’t remember but had a negative feeling about for some reason. Rachel and Elliot were already blocked before so I didn’t have to worry about them for now.

“You came in here to talk business initially right? Let’s do that.” Vera states, taking a lead in the conversation. Probably in hopes that Crewel would leave as soon as he said what he planned to.

“Right, business. First of all, excuse me for barging in earlier. I can assure you this will not become a habit. I live separately from you and I’ll make sure to inform you if I need to speak with you both prior to my visits unless it's an emergency of course. Onto business, there is a large event surrounding new fashion coming up in six months, the Summer Unlimited Fibers Fresh and Economic Revolution annual event. You’ll be put into teams of at least three. Though these teams can be sorted out beforehand which is what we’re going to do. As you may have already guessed, I plan to assign you two to a team with Vil Shoenheit and Epel Felmier. Until then, however, we need to increase your prestige and credibility.”

“I’m mildly concerned by the fact it spells the out ‘suffer’ as the acronym, but I digress. So you mean you’ll be making sure we get into events to showcase our abilities? If this goes well, we’ll be working on one of the biggest events in the fashion world with some of the most well know fashion-related celebrities. But if you have other pupils, then why did you select us?”

“Oh, I suppose I should have specified. I’m also a teacher at Night Raven College. The students there are probably who you mean by my ‘other pupils’. As for why I chose you two, there are a few reasons. Most obviously, it brings diversity to the group. A non-binary gremlin with dark-academia vibes and a lady steeped in Ouji fashion pair well with the adorable Epel and glamorous monarch-esque Vil. It’s like a set of fantasy villains. Quite an eye-catching arrangement no? Additionally, you already work well together, I’m afraid some of my other students are too much like divas to work well as a group. Individually they all have strengths, but until they mesh, they’re like oil and water. While you have yet to work with Epel and Vil, you will be more willing to compromise with them when necessary.”

“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Diversity is an important note for intrigue. However, I’m under the impression that this is in part because of Neige’s potential group. Either they’re also trying to be diverse, or that group is going to essentially be a boy band right?”

“Correct. Given the previous year, it’s likely that Neige’s group is going to be more diverse. There was a lot of discourse surrounding some of the former members, though somehow that discourse gave Neige a popularity boost.” Crewel states, his voice dripping with annoyance.

“Right, weren’t Neige and Vil placed on the same team as two newbies who ended up being a mess all things considered?”

“Unfortunately.”

“So you don’t want the hosts to make Neige and Vil part of the same team again? But you don’t have much time to locate some new talents, and those you could reach out to would make things more difficult.”

“Essentially.”

“Considering that you came here almost immediately. You have something in mind to get us started right?”

“Very good. Yes, I have a few events lined up for you. I’ll handle getting you in, you are going to need to focus on curating new designs. I have more for you after this event, so don’t burn yourself out like last time. Since security was so lax at the last location, I can promise you I’ll ensure more reliable security this time.”

“Can you tell us the specifics like dates and themes?”

“I’ll go over it with you another day, but for now I’ll be E-Mailing you all of the relevant information. Though I’ll need to give you your company E-Mails and their passwords before you can use them.”

“Company E-Mails? Wow- that’s fancy.”

“Oh, we had those at my previous job.” Vera mumbles.

“Good, then you should be familiar with professional E-Mail etiquette.”

“E-Mails have etiquette?”

“…” Vera and Crewel look at each other, perhaps wondering how I had made it this far without knowing that there was such a thing as E-Mail etiquette. Crewel ends up discussing specifics with us anyways before handing us our company E-Mail information. After he leaves Vera and I unpack a few more things while bouncing ideas off of each other for the first event.

We head to bed soon after and both wake up early. Getting used to a new space was going to take a little bit. Everything was so much cleaner than it ever had been. There’s only so much progress we were able to make at the old house with my studies and Vera’s work. Regardless, we had things to do and not much time to dilly-dally about new surroundings.

The next few days raced by and before we knew it we were presenting in front of a crowd. Though this one was notably smaller than the one from the Flash Forward Frenzy. Unexpectedly, Neige was one of the guest judges alongside Vil. After the show is over Neige approaches us.

“I didn’t expect to see you here! Wow, your designs are still so impressive. Oh, a pleasure to meet you, Vera, I’m Neige LeBlanche!” Neige starts excitedly grasping my hands, acknowledging my sister after a moment's pause.

“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Vera, Ren’s sister.” Vera introduces, looking at Neige’s hands and then back to me with a raised eyebrow.

“Hello again! Also, I’m sorry, I completely misplaced your business card, so I wasn’t able to add your number to my contacts after everything.” I apologize, wondering if he was under the impression that I just didn’t like him.

“Oh no, well I suppose it’s not unexpected. You were in really bad shape after the Frenzy. I’m surprised you were on your feet this quickly. Hmm, why don’t I just add my number to your phone this time? There’s no way you’ll lose it that way!” He states with a wide smile befitting a prince.

“Sure! That would probably be better.” I reply before pulling out my phone. Vera blinks at me, ‘Seriously? You know that Vil and Neige are rivals, you really want to die on the hill of befriending everyone until you get hurt?’ I hand Neige my phone and he quickly types in his number. I stifle a laugh when I see that he’s oh-so graciously nicknamed himself for future reference.

“Do people call you Neggy?” I ask curiously, looking at the little heart emote he’d added at the end too. I mean it was distinct, I’d give him that, but it felt a little unnecessary.

“Only friends do. I’d like to think we’ll be friends though so you can call me Neggy too!” Neige explains still just as bubbly and excited as before.

“Okay, but I’ll still refer to you as Neige in public.” I smile a bit. He was cute if nothing else. It was like finding a little brother. Though Vera would always be my favorite sibling. Before I can give Neige my number in turn Vil joins us.

“Hello, Neige. Sorry to cut your conversation short, but these two have a prior engagement.” Vil states with a practiced smile, elegantly placing a hand on his chin. I wonder how much of the conversation he heard when walking over. Regardless Vera’s assessment that being friendly toward Neige would give me problems was probably going to be a little too accurate. Vil was already displeased, I couldn’t imagine that our trip to the meeting room with Crewel and Epel was going to be comfortable.

“Yes, unfortunately, we do have something else to tend to. I’m sure we’ll meet again given the industry. Let’s head out.” I add, looking at Vera who rolls her eyes at me and also confirms that we should leave.

“Ah, goodbye Ren. I hope we have a chance to talk more next time. Safe travels!” Neige says before saying farewell to Vera and Vil collectively. We walk in silence until we reach our transportation. After the door shuts Vil starts to speak.

“So you’re friendly with Neige LeBlanche?” He asks with a smile that conveyed his displeasure.

“Well, I don’t have a negative opinion of him as of the moment. But we’ve only spoken a few times so it’s difficult to say if I’d ever give him preference. Though to be frank, my main concern is being polite since unlike you, my clout isn’t very good.” I explain. It was true that I was fairly neutral towards Neige, he may be cute, but he’s not very memorable for anything but that. Given the choice, I’d rather be friends with Vil since that would make things less complicated and Vil is also more interesting. The media is divided on how to depict Vil as his fashion sense and acting career have cast him as a villain. Do they show him as tragic, cruel, or even secretly good?

“I see. I suppose that makes sense. Though I will remind you to avoid being too friendly with him. Even if you’re just being polite others will take your politeness as affection and twist your image.” Vil explains, a bit softer and less peeved than earlier. Was he worried about me? “I have to agree with Vil. Ren, you’re too careless with people.” Vera adds quietly, glancing at Vil before looking at me, “You shouldn’t have let Neige grab your hands either, what if there were paparazzi? Neige has the barrier of being the highest-ranking celebrity, you’re not safe from being slandered and defamed.” Vera adds with concern, her voice shaking.

“Vera- I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the media is going to depict me as a playboy at this point. I mean, there’s no way that there aren’t pictures of Crewel carrying me circulating at the moment. With that, if there also end up being pictures of Neige holding my hands then I’ll be in trouble.” I apologize, sorting out my thoughts and realizing all at once just the predicament I had been put in.

“Usually Crewel is so careful about his image. But I suppose he has always had a soft spot for his students. Though he would never admit that.” Vil muses, “If you understand all of that, why aren’t you more guarded?” Vil adds with added annoyance.

“I- don’t have anything to say for myself. It’s just stupid.” I state looking down at my feet.

“We’ll discuss this with Crewel later. Vera, you weren’t at the Frenzy so I didn’t get to see your abilities in action before. I’m excited to see what you’ll do in the future. You seem quite promising, and perhaps wise.” Vil compliments Vera who smiles a bit before thanking Vil for his compliments. Eventually, it reaches the topic of understanding why Crewel said he’d need to fix my wardrobe.

“We already have plans to curate your wardrobe, unfortunately, there simply wasn’t time before this event, so you had to wear the ones from Glamour Isle. But no more. I shall make you shine like a diamond. And perhaps blind Neige.”

“What is it with people mumbling the last part of their sentences? I’m grateful for your time and efforts in this. I’ll try not to undermine your expectations.”

Eventually, we make our way to the meeting room where a few unfamiliar faces sit with Crewel and Epel. Most of them are dressed in business attire with some notes, but one of them looks completely different from the rest. Dressed in a dark feathered cloak with a crow mask and cane, the fae lounges at the head of the table. This also implies that he has a higher position than Crewel. Who is this guy?

“Ah! You’re all here. Yes, it is I. Crowley your beloved CEO and headmaster at NRC.” Yeah, I still have no idea who Crowley is.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crowley,” I say with a polite smile.

“Yes, it’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Crowley,” Vera says in turn.

“It’s a pleasant surprise to see you attend the meeting CEO,” Vil states with an elegant practiced smile.

“There is no need to be so formal with me! Just call me Crowley. After all, you all are important assets to our company.” Crowley states in a sing-song tone, “Oh right, feel free to sit anywhere, there’s no need to stand so stiffly.” He adds with the motion of his hand.

“Thank you, sir,” I say before sitting one seat away from Crewel so that Vera can be seated beside two people she knows. Vil sits beside Epel on the other side of the table and introductions of everyone at the table begin. The table consists of Crowley, Crewel, Epel, Vera, Vil, Trein, Vanrouge, and I. The meeting covers schedules, the clean up for Crewel’s sudden dadittude, and current media standings. Admittedly during the more budget-oriented pieces of the conversation, I was completely lost.

After the meeting ends Crowley leaves immediately followed by Vanrouge. Epel and Vil head out after speaking briefly to Crewel. Vera and I decide to follow Vil out for the moment. We weren’t stopped so we left the room. Vil notices us and motions for us to walk a bit closer to the two of them. I can almost hear Vera internally screaming being so close to Epel.

“We have more to discuss outside of the meeting since they didn’t cover everything. You’re probably wondering who Lillia Vanrouge and Mozus Trein are. They’re investors in the company that happen to be on good terms with most of us. Since they have such a big say in our company, they tend to appear in official meetings discussing budgets and plans for the company's future.”

“You realize that Crewel probably would have explained all of that to them right?”

“Yes, but the conversations between Trein and Crewel tend to be lengthy. We have to wait anyways, it makes for better discussion if the other parties aren’t preoccupied with something else.” Vil says motioning for everyone to sit down in what is probably a waiting room or lounge of some sort.

“Eh- Yeah okay. Ahem. Hello again, I’m Epel. It’s nice to meet you both.” Epel says with a sparkly smile.

“Wow, I didn’t realize that people could literally sparkle,” I mumble thoughtlessly. Vera covers my mouth before I finish.

“The pleasure is all mine,” Vera states simply, smiling politely but definitely freaking out internally. After a bit, she uncovers my mouth and I am free to speak again.

“I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot more frequently right? So wouldn’t it be a good idea to figure out some baseline things to avoid doing? For example, eating sounds really bother me. If I dine with others, it is usually in a noisy place so I’m less overwhelmed by the eating noises but rather the environment.”

“Ah, I suppose you’re right. Then I’ll state the obvious. Be more careful about your image and who you associate with. Additionally, do not needless contact Neige LeBlanche as that too could become problematic.”

“Ah, I get it, if anyone sees either party text the other, a deeper relationship will be assumed because it makes for a better story and more interesting gossip.”

“Exactly. I suppose that means you had no intentions of actually contacting him then?”

“Well, I was undecided initially, which is why I even mentioned the number again in the first place, but given this, it’s better to avoid contacting him. He’s been at the center of enough drama where everyone else ended up looking bad that I don’t really want to chance an ‘Oops, I didn’t realize they could see my screen lol’ moment.”

“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.”

“I suppose if it's just us, avoid calling me cute or referring to me too fondly. I’d rather not be bombarded with those things outside of work too.” Epel adds, still sounding soft and polite.

“Ah, alright. If I had to add something, it would probably be along the lines of wariness around group chats or anything. I’ve had a friend or two in ‘secret’ group chats that were too careless about ensuring the excluded parties weren’t aware they were excluded.” Vera mentions with a brief explanation.

Before we could continue the conversation an announcement was made over the loudspeakers to find a place to hide while a situation was being dealt with.

“Well, that is concerning,” I mumble.

“What in tarnation? Concerning? That’s downright mortifying. What could possibly be happening?” Epel replies with a panicked expression.

“Let’s go into the nearest room. Now.” Vil states staying composed and ushering us all into a room that has a door that locks.

“It’s our first day here and something went wrong,” Vera mumbles, leaning on me and clutching their arms tightly.

“I’m not sure what’s happening, but it will be alright, we’ll just stay quiet. I’m right here.” I whisper as quietly as I can, placing a hand on Vera’s shoulder. The room stays silent after that. Outside of the room, we hear footsteps and a knock of metal on the floor.

Clack clack, clang, clack clack, clang

The person outside calls a name I don’t recognize, but Vil’s expression shifts into one of disturbed understanding.

“I know you’re here my love. Just come out and we can talk.” The voice calls out with a deranged laugh. ‘Ah, it’s someone’s crazy fan or ex.’ I think frowning a bit.

Clack clack, clang, clack clack BANG

The door shudders as a dent forms in it. It takes a moment to process that it was our door that had been hit until I see Epel standing before the door, magic circling his hands while he stands in front of us.

“Oh? Are those frightened breaths I hear? My my, you always were such a delicate thing weren’t you?” The voice exclaims, excitement dripping over their words as something crashes into the door again. I find myself wondering how this guy got here, how they possibly managed to get past security in this place.

BANG

The dent grows as the hinges cry out in pain.

BANG

The door squeals in agony.

BANG … Thonk

The door falls down slowly as an unfamiliar grinning figure peers into the room.

“Oh Icy, there you are!” The intruder exclaims looking at Vera. Vera looks confused and frightened. I find myself moving before I can think about it. I crash through the door we locked to get in here, pulling Vera behind me.

“GET BACK HERE!” They scream followed by the sound of fire crackling through the air followed by the whip of vines.

“Who the fuck is that?” Vera whisper screams, grabbing my hand tightly.

“I don’t know. But we need you to get out of here, or hide really well.” I say in reply, my voice sounding much calmer than the heart beating in my chest. My shoulder starts to throb.

“I-I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know who that is.” She says panicked.

“I know, I know, it’s not your fault, they’re just a creep.” I console them, starting to lead them toward another exit from the waiting room.

“Eugh- I won’t let you pass through here!” Epel shouts after a sound of pain. Before I can stop her, Vera barrels back into the previous room and punches the creepy stranger back through the doorway.

“No one hurts my friends,” Even she must not have known what came over her, but hearing her idol cry out in pain led her to punch the intruder with a force even she didn’t know she had. They fly through the doorway and crash through the door across the hallways.

“Agh- My sweet- why do you pain me so? I came all this way for you.” The stranger pleads. I feel useless as I watch Vil, Epel, and Vera.

“She wants nothing to do with you. Get that through your head or you won’t be left with just a few burns and scars.” Vil states with a venomous smile spreading over his lips.

“How did they get here? I don’t think they should have been able to. Is there anyone who would want to hurt Vera maybe? … Could it be Rachel again? Is she trying to destroy what I have left so I fall back into her arms?” I mumble to myself before hearing another crash. Vil had thrown the stranger through another door.

“That’s going to be a pain to replace.” Crowley comments walking towards the stranger, “Sorry, but who are you? And why are you bothering us on such an important day?” He adds with a certain detached annoyance like he was talking to a bug. It was then that I managed to walk back toward everyone to see what was happening.

“I’m just here to see my dearly beloved!” The intruder insists.

“That creep has nothing to do with my sister. But he thinks he is.” I state walking over, my heart beating loudly in my chest, “I was trying to be nice earlier.” I add with a practiced smile.

“How is taking my sweet Ice rose away from me a kindness? You just wanted her for yourself.” As they argue I catch a glance at their eyes, they’re cloudy. I stare at them for a moment before something clicks.

“You drank it,” I mutter.

“It’s a miracle thing, isn’t it? Oh, I was so close to holding my love. If you weren’t here- if I get rid of you-” The stranger realizes, rising despite their disfigured form.

“I don’t think so.” Crowley states bonking the stranger on the head with his hand knocking the fool out cold, “Now, I trust you’ll explain what you meant by ‘you drank it?’” Crowley asks motioning for some personnel to get rid of the creep.

“No, you mean they drank that?” Vera cuts in, “It’s- it’s a monstrous potion. It relieves you of all worldly pain, but you lose your ability to perceive right and wrong, as it eats away at you you start to decay and you’re susceptible to others' intentions. If they really drank that- then that means Rachel is involved.” She explains, rushing over as I lose my balance.

“This Rachel is going to be a much larger problem than I initially assumed.” Crewel comments, supporting me from behind as well, “But that doesn’t explain how that mangy mutt got in here in the first place.”

“If the only benefit of that potion was the elimination of pain it wouldn’t be as tempting. If you know which one it is you can probably piece together what happened. But one of the things the potion does is amplify your magic until you overblot. You either decay or overblot, and neither is a pleasant end.” I explain further, scratching at my arms as the ickiness settles into my skin.

“Why exactly do you know all of this?” Trein asks, walking over with a tap of his cane announcing his presence.

“… That’s how my best friend died,” I whisper with a small, pained, laugh.

“I’m sorry for your loss Ren. It is never easy to lose someone. I am too old now to guarantee your safety under my watch. But I will support you the best I can in other ways.” Trein states, looking between Vera and me.

“Hm, well given the dire circumstances I think I could keep an eye on them. Besides, it would be like adopting wor- children.” Crowley states, absolutely about to say workers instead of children before he corrected himself.

“There’s no need for that Crowley, I’m already taking care of their housing, so I’ll be the one to settle them into a safer space if need be,” Crewel states in turn.

“Hahahaha,” Vera starts laughing.

“I hardly think this is the time to be laughing child,” Crowley states.

“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just- you all barely know us but you’ve already accepted us more than our family ever did. It’s just kind of funny you know? Maybe I’m tired.” Vera states laughing a bit more while tearing up. She sniffles and tries to calm down her tears but Epel hugs her.

“There there.” He states, patting their back.

Crewel notices before I do that I’m crying too. He wipes away my tears with a handkerchief and sighs.

“You always seem to get hurt when something happens.” He says, placing a hand lightly on my injured shoulder causing me to flinch, “Let’s get you patched up, we’ll discuss what to do about your safety after that at least.” He adds.

Vil looks at Crewel as though he’d grown a second head.

“You’re not going to pick me up again are you?” I ask with a sniffle before turning my head to look up at Crewel. He smiles a bit.

“That depends, can you walk this time?” He asks though the answer was quickly found to be no, “Hm, well I’m afraid you’re going to have to sit still and be carried this time as well little pup.” He muses. I sigh and just let him carry me. Crowley joins Vil in his baffled stare at Crewel.

“What- is happening,” Vil asks furrowing his brows and pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Dad instincts,” Vera mumbles through sniffles.

“I suppose he does have a habit of adopting promising children, or ‘pups’ as he calls you.” Trein muses, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

“Hah, this really is going to be quite expensive. You’ll need to deal with that Rachel person sooner rather than later.” Crowley comments before he takes his leave.

“Unfortunately I can’t stay for too much longer either. However, Vil, you have my number. I ask that you update me on the situation when you can.” Trein states leaving as well.

“I’m sorry, your jacket is soaked with tears,” Vera says seeing Epel’s now wet jacket.

“It’s fine. I don’t get the whole unsupportive family bit, but I’m all too familiar with being in an unexpected fight with someone you don’t know. NRC isn’t exactly full of friendly faces. ‘Sides, you were really something. I didn’t expect ya ta smack the bastard in gob like that.” Epel states, slipping into an unfamiliar accent. Usually, he sounds like a well-read nobleman.

“I just heard you get hurt and my body was already moving on its own. I can’t take too much credit for that. I’m not nearly as brave as it seems.” Vera explains quickly.

“Not many have such noble intentions. Well, I suppose you won’t be a burden despite the issues that seem to surround your sibling. Though my opinion is subject to change should you prove to be loutish.” Vil comments.

– “Ow- I didn’t think I’d dislocated it, it just felt numb at first,” I grumble, rubbing the arm where healing magic was applied.

“In an ideal world, you’d have time to rest, but for the moment we should discuss safety. Previously you would not be living with anyone but your sibling. Given the circumstances would you be more comfortable living in my house? Given my status, I have trained guards to deal with intruders like that person.”

“It would probably be safer to stay somewhere that secure. It’ll be a pain, yes, but I’m not going to deny any greater level of protection. Though I have my reservations about hired guards at this point.”

“That’s understandable. I can assure you, however, that my hired personnel will be much more reliable. Crowley and the owner of the organization that hosted the Frenzy prefer cost effectiveness to function.” Crewel grumbles.

“Da- Crewel! You shouldn’t say that in the building, slander the man later.”

“Pfft, but you don’t disagree.”

“Of course not, I’ve seen what happened- dude I was there. I mean last time was like two minutes ago. Eugh, I’m so tired now too.”

“You should get some rest here then. Would you prefer I stay here, or leave?”

“Thanks for that, do what you think is best.” I didn’t want to make him stay when there was going to be a lot of aftermath to sort out, and it was very unlikely that something would happen immediately after the last incident. Rachel doesn’t work like that, she eats away at you slowly until you give in to her.

Crewel ended up staying in the room, at least until I fell asleep.

– “Oh Ren, did you enjoy our game of hide and seek? I had so much fun finding you.” ‘No, I recognize that voice.’ “You were so difficult to get a hold of. Were you that confused my dear? It’s okay, I can help you now. Just trust in me.” ‘No. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be with her here.’ “Come closer, little Ren. I’ll make sure you’re safe in my arms.” Rachel’s arms wrap around me and begin to constrict me, suffocating me. It feels like all of the air is being pushed out of my lungs as the cold arms continue to snake around me and hold me closer. “My adorable dear.”

–

TL;DR: Ren meets Crewel on a train after accidentally entering the wrong car and Crewel notices their distinct lack of fashion. From there Ren participates in a Speed Fashion contest with an unreasonable time limit and manages to prove their worth. Given this, Crewel takes in both Ren and their sister Vera to contribute to his team starring Vil and Epel. In the midst of this an old 'friend' from Ren's past resurfaces as an adversary.

#twisted wonderland #writing #fanfiction #divus crewel #twst crewel #We love the trope where someone just decides “You see this gremlin? This is my child now”#first post #It feels like I'm committing a crime.#I'm so sorry for this #Look #I know It's long #But It's fine #I'm totally mentally healthy #And not at all trying to escape reality #You should drink water #Also hi #Do you like it?#self indulgent

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tirednotflirting · 1 year

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I posted 3,022 times in 2022

303 posts created (10%)

2,719 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@caramelcalum

@daydadahlias

@burstingsunrise

@calumsash

@pxrxmoore

I tagged 2,615 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#l - 335 posts

#5sos - 205 posts

#a - 168 posts

#c - 126 posts

#h - 97 posts

#m - 68 posts

#cake - 60 posts

#tmh22 - 53 posts

#lashton - 30 posts

#cashton - 30 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#y’all ever have something you reference all the time around people you only ever remember have no idea what you’re talking about until after

My Top Posts in 2022:

hi look at him

thank you

46 notes - Posted December 3, 2022

a fic rec list that quite literally no one asked for

I’ve felt incredibly uninspired lately with fic. It’s a shit feeling. I may just be done writing. TBD. But as I’ve been sitting around trying to determine my feelings on fic, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about how I read fic. I’ve been reading it for awhile. I like to think that even in the 5SOS space, I’ve read a really good variety of things. So I wanted to make note of the fics that come to mind when I think of fics that have inspired me/made me feel something/are just really good. This probably will not be very organized and I apologize for that now.

I’ve been very VERY lucky to get to know a few of the folks whose works I mention here. I feel so grateful to have had even small glimpses into your creative processes. Just before the world Stopped a couple years ago, I was shuffling toward a mindset of writing off fan fiction as a thing of my younger years and I’m thankful that so many people metaphorically hit me over the head with their incredible works.

there’s some 1D, 5SOS, Shawn Mendes, and also solo 1D boys in here. i think a lot of them are at least a touch nsfw at points but not all of them? yeah. i think everything that is is noted of on the pages they link to? certainly not an exhaustive list of my favorites but these were the ones on my mind today.

Okay, in probably a really strange, completely non-linear order, here we go.

sugar on the asphalt by @justanchorandhope

I genuinely cannot even begin to describe the love in my heart for this fic. this is the fic (and writer tbh) that kept me around on tumblr in 2013 and is the perfect example of everything i loved about 1D fic back in the day. an OC to die for, the perfect dash of so many different tropes, CUPCAKES, southern charm, it has it all. just the sweetest cast of characters. i cannot believe i was 15 when this fic was first posted and now i’m 24 and re-reading this still feels like a curling up with a cup of tea at the end of a long day.

okay basically everything written by @harryandmolly but specifically the following:

like the back of my hand + fear and loathing in mandeville canyon

okay so fun fact i was so thrown off the first time i read the first fic listed there (the second one listed is a sorta AU of the first one taking place in early pandemic/lockdown times btw) bc the OC’s bff uses the exact same nickname i used in high school. okay but Lilly is a GOD TIER OC. i love a story that takes place over a really long period of time + really shows the progression of a relationship. also super random but as a woman in my mid-20s with crazy unrealistic dreams of living in a big gorgeous house with all my friends, the descriptions of the house Lilly lives in make my heart sing. for a story that takes place in a totally normal version of the world, the world building (maybe the wrong term here idk) in this is so great.

i could write it better than you ever felt it

three words: warped tour au. no but seriously there’s this blanket of nostalgia over this whole fic bc of the setting that is so fucking fun (she says having never gone to warped tour but shhhhh). another bright and brilliant OC, SO many lovable side characters, really driving plot. reading this feels like summer in all the best ways. (+ a brilliant sequel of sorts.) perfectly captures silly punk boys + hayley williams is there just being the goddess that she is. my introduction to jasey rae lol. so many things and all of them so great.

the emancipation of ginny

got momentarily distracted reading the teaser sorry i’m back now. ginny: bad ass and gorgeous business woman lady navigating being the assistant for an international pop star who is also her ex. andrew gertler is so stressed the whole time. i like a story that jumps around in time and this one does it in such a unique way. the writing in this is STUNNING, i feel like i am in every scene feeling the misty fog in london and the sun in my eyes on a summer festival tour. a Masterpiece imo. also the niall in this is wonderful in all the ways he can be + taylor swift shows up for a minute.

perfect teeth by @stylesmoothie

why yes i am in fact linking you to MIBBA bc 1DFF was the only other place to really find this i think rip to our fallen hero and what a throwback adlskfjdsl. i am NOT joking when i say that i literally cried when people started reblogging around the final update for this a few years back bc it had been like 5 years since this fic was updated. this fic holds such a special place in heart (as so many 1D fics from this era do). ezra is a brilliant OC and her story is SO GREAT. something i loved about ~this era~ of 1D fic was how expansive the backstories for the OCs were and ezra’s especially just made me fall in love with her. i remember that reading the conclusion to this story (so many years after starting it) felt like this beautiful sense of closure. i had very few constants in my later teenage years but stories like this one were one of them. love love love this story.

(took a brief pause so anna and i could hunt down an old zayn fic from back in the day slkdfjlds leesh came to our rescue bless her)

nom de plume by @stylesprimes

another fic that truly feels like it just? defined an era of my life???? (just had to do some internet wizardry to verify this was a 2014 fic lol) another OC with just the most sick backstory and story told throughout the fic. in this era of fic i was a HUGE fan of the harry styles london indie crew kinda fic. could not tell you why aside from how fucking cool i thought alexa chung was. you really get to see everyone make mistakes and grow in this story which i really admire from both a reader and a writer standpoint. like that’s not easy to do sdlfkjdsl. i love all the twists and turns and it’s a story i love returning to every once in awhile. cecilia’s experiences in this are so so unique and i’ve never really read anything quite like this story. the dynamic between the characters and just the overall vibe of ndp has always been so novel. i love it.

scene 14 by @daydadahlias

this FIC OH MY GOD. so backstory: i feel like i was the last person to read jess fic esp this one like. i was so intimidated by the fact that everyone had already read this and i had all of this knowledge of the vibe and how much everyone loved this that reading this almost felt like being introduced to a friend of a friend, ya know? this fic is Stunning. like i didn’t think it would be possible to be so impressed by college au world building at this point in my life (i’ve been reading college AUs for like. literally over a decade) but this little world that jess created was SO immersive. these characters were all so bright and i loved and cared for each and every one of them despite how many there were. i laughed, i cried. reading this reminded me why i love fan fiction and i feel so SO grateful to be in this fic space at the same time as jess.

love would burn this city down for you by @calumcest

helen has shared so many amazing stories but this one is always going to be my favorite. there’s so much soul and heart and love in this short little piece. i barely have the words for it. i started writing myself bc i felt inspired by the space that helen was helping to create a couple years ago and it’s pieces like this that i think had a lot of influence on the style i would try to adopt in certain ways. she’s so great at showing love in the little, quiet ways. pieces like this one feel like a secret and i’m so thankful i get to be in on it.

another night of takeout by @roselirry

lol i’ve had the second part of this bookmarked on my computer for MANY years and just realized there was a third part to it i had never read. this is a niall fic, little slices of three different days from the perspective of Vee, niall’s assistant in a solo era world. reminds me of a lot of the reasons i love the emancipation of ginny. one of my favorite tropes, a bit of that ‘omg they’re so in love but just refuse to really fully acknowledge it’ kinda situation. only three little bits in this but through the bits of background you get such a FULL story (despite the fact that it’s technically not finished i think?). SUCH a comfort read, i’ve read this so many times that it feels like a cozy, worn cardigan. (also i’ve historically been SUPER picky with my niall fic and this one has really stood the test of time for me)

all the things yet to come by soysauceharry

so i’ve never been a big self insert fic kinda girl. i think i just started out with OC fic so it was just this foreign thing to me for so long. i’m also a very big character person so when a character is really vague for the purpose to trying to be easy to fit a variety of looks and/or personalities into, i struggle to find enjoyment in it at times. but jesus christ, this story is cool. for me, reading this story gives the vibe of like a dream where you’re watching yourself do something? so despite the fact that it’s written in the second person, i don’t feel like i’m watching the story from the eyes of the OC. also despite all of the ‘you’s i just have never read this as a true self insert. i have an MC in my head that is very much a unique character. MC is a graduate psych student, Harry is her graduate advisor for a min and then later just a colleague. follows MC through her graduate studies. the setting and the story are just so pretty and lifelike. i think i read this for the first time in the winter while i was still in school which added a lot to the vibe. i return to this whenever i want cozier vibes.

If you dance with me darling, if you take me home… Will we talk in the morning? by @kaleidoscopeminds

i love a meg fic for so so many reasons. i love this one especially bc the tone of it to me feels like how you tell the story of a fun night out. it feels fun and silly like the stories you tell the night after the night out about all the wild shit you did in the early hours of that same day. i’ve always been very fond of this fic because meg posted it when i was feeling very VERY down about the world and it just made me smile. this fic feels like laughs after shots idk how to describe it just good fun. she is the cake QUEEN but i always found so much inspo in her earlier lashton pieces. they remind me of all the good things about summer 2020. i’m glad they can still take me back to those times of first getting to know some of the folks that i just love so dearly now (baggy salt forever <3)

sail the wildest stretch by @beautifulletdownfics

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47 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

hi i would like to discuss

thank you

119 notes - Posted September 26, 2022

5sos playing the same fest as green day, good charlotte, and blink???? can someone check on those boys omg???

124 notes - Posted October 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

i can’t believe ashton is the cutest dude on the planet and we just have to deal w that

227 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #my year in review #truly my top tag being my luke tag is hilarious #and by like…a lot alsjdldj

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its-ashley-95baybe · 2 years

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Honestly more concerned about the amount of CO2 those two's private jets must be pumping out... PR or no I would feel morally icky about visiting my partner so often like that when we're witnessing so many climate disasters. I'm an actor too. I always fly economy or train if it's available. It's in my contract. I'm sure they could make do like all of us non-millionaires do with long distance relationships.

Honestly I'm still mad that Zendaya had that big birthday party during covid, made sure it was super quiet and no one could post about it, and got zero flack.

It kind of creeps me out how good her PR team is. Never more than a whisper of her being less than perfect. I don't think she's a bad person, I just think she's human. It's a little culty.

Tom is my ultimate 'I can fix him'. I don't know what him and his agent are doing but one of them needs to learn how to read a script and tell whether it's good or bad. He said Cherry was the best script he's ever read :/ Honestly perplexed by his decisions from a business standpoint. He could go anywhere for his TV debut and he goes Apple TV with a story about a criminal with DID which has been established as a thing Hollywood cannot be trusted to portray with accuracy or empathy. The only rationale I can see is that he signed an old-school Hollywood studio deal (these are coming back, look at Chris Hemsworth and Netflix) and Sony got to him when he was young and naive and excited about Spiderman. The whole thing reeks of an old hollywood business deal. I think that's part of the reason he appears so unhappy. Studios secure actors for a 'type' of role, think Judy Garland = ingenue, and that's left him playing one type of character, which I think he's great at but he's not going to win awards and that man clearly wants an Oscar. Awards are so political and the academy just don't nominate dorky young man #2. If I was him I'd work on those films I've said I always wanted to direct, hire a writer other than my brother because I can't tell a script with potential from a trashfire, and cast myself in a role I've always wanted to play and no one would ever cast me as. He's got the clout to at least get an indie film up.

This somehow turned into a business rant. Sorry. So much of your worth relies on your image so when you get to a certain level you've got to be carefully picking your projects. I think Zendaya will be fine and practically untouchable. Her and her team are very smart. It'll be interesting to see if she has more range or whether she'll remain a 'face' actor or a character actor. Some of that is probably not her fault as there's only certain portrayals of a black woman that Hollywood currently accepts. No matter how skilled she is as an actor she will always have jobs because she's established herself as a marketable brand. Weird comparison but I think The Rock has done the same thing just very different ball park. You don't hire The Rock because he'll give you a killer performance with a nuanced character, you hire him because he's The Rock. I honestly can't think of anything problematic enough she could possibly do that could cut her down now.

okay rant over.

First off let me just say that I don’t read a lot of long messages and even more so want them to keep going.

Also I don’t know if you’re new here or not but I enjoyed the breakdown of everything.

Tom’s roles make sense especially when he’s been lobbying to play Fred Astaire for the longest( Lip Sync Battle and probably further) I’ve been saying his team is severely slacking and after the first Spidey he should’ve been everywhere. Idk if Tom wants things handed to him because of his role as Spidey but I just don’t see him reaching that “star” level. I’ll continue to say there’s no way you’re around Z and her team that much that you don’t want more for yourself…..or maybe you don’t and just want attention based off of your relationship but again that’s not how you get your Oscar.

Flipping to Z…..she again has an amazing team that was built since she was 12. Always at red carpets and her name was always spoken(wrongly of course lol) I remember when people would ask what did she do and even that was enough to sustain an identity. They took their time,perfected their craft and now she has two Emmys and a fashion icon award and if her label wasn’t complete money hungry idiots she wouldn’t had a Grammy. They get it. They perfected it and everyone who works with her express nothing but love. She will be fine no matter what direction is taken.

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fitemilk · 1 year

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long post so settle in

when i was at the nail tech school tour, the owner (director, i think is her official title?) asked me why i wanted to be a nail tech. this is something my therapist prepared me for!

___

one of the goals i had for therapy was gaining enough confidence to career switch. i was unemployed for the longest time, had a brief but unsuccessful stint at a local game store, and have been unemployed since. i refused to go back to retail and needed to switch.

my therapist would always notice my nails during a session. they are well-manicured and the color was always different each session. they are also my natural nails.

after a couple of unsuccessful tries at finding something out there for me, she asked to see my nails up close. she got me talking. since we communicate using telehealth, i showed her the nail polish collection i’ve amassed for 18 years, neatly organized in an ikea file cabinet.

she was impressed. nearly every color has its own drawer. she remarked, “i think this is what you were meant to do, patton. i think you should pursue this.”

i told her a story. it goes like this:

——-

when i was a little kid, my mom would do my nails. my mom had a modest polish collection, stored in a small wooden box. they were older polishes, based on what i currently know. not from the 90s, when i was little, but earlier. some of them probably dated back to the 70s, but they were still good. back then, the range of colors was nowhere near as wide as it is now. it was pinks and reds, maybe a plum purple. my mom would paint my nails pink.

then in 1995 (i don’t know why i remember that year, but i do), the game changed. revlon had just put out its street wear line. finally! more than just pinks and reds and maybe that purple. there were blues, greens, yellows, even a black! i went gaga. my first one was a dark blue.

my auntie got me a markwins polish set for christmas when i was 13. it was HUGE. i think it was a 30-polish set. while everything else in the house may have been an absolute clusterfuck of a hoarder mess, i held on to my polishes.

when i moved out and out-of-state, i had three polishes in my possession — a frosty blue from mary kate & ashley (yeah, those twins), a orange from wild n’ crazy, and a sheer sky blue from revlon called bright sky. i still have the latter two! and i did my nails with bright sky last week!

i began to amass my collection once more. my mom was diagnosed with cancer shortly after i left home, and by 2009, my mom was dying. she signed a dnr (do not resuscitate) order, and by late summer/early fall, the time had come. my mom was in too much pain to continue. she was in at-home hospice care, in a hospital bed, hooked up to a morphine drip. i made my final visit. i was spending what little time i had left with my mom, watching tv, getting out any final stories we wanted to share.

my mom wanted me to do her nails one last time. she knew i brought polish with me, i always did any time i traveled. she picked out two colors — korean fruit and flower stand by carolyn new york for her hands (a light peachy coral crème) and cherry glaze by sally hansen salon for her feet (a slightly jelly neutral red)

it came around full circle.

my therapist was right. i was meant to do this.

————

when the director asked me why i wanted to be nail tech, i simply said, “my mom would paint my nails when i was a little kid. when i was older, i would paint hers. it’s something that i’ve always loved.”

she loved it. when i was leaving, she said, “i thing you’re going to do well here. you’ve got style, your pink hair is very nice!”

—-

and that’s my long-winded non-linear story

#patton.txt #y’know that bubble that keeps on popping up before i tag something is super annoying #where’s the long post command when i need it #rip long post command #i have a story to tell damn you #parent death cw #long post

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alleyskywalker · 1 year

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2022 Fanfic Year Wrap Up Meme

Number of Fics: 45 Number of Unique Fandoms: 6* (ASOIAF, GoT, HOTD, Harry Potter, War and Peace, Romeo and Juliet) Number of Unique Pairings: 30 (repeat ships: Throbb [4], Tris/Theon [4], Jaime/Cersei [2])** Total Number of Words: 102,105

*Counting ASOIAF, GoT and HOTD as different fandoms because that’s kind of how I’ve been doing it when tagging and stuff. Including F&B into ASOIAF here. I only had 1 fic for it anyway. **Only counting ships which were primarily featured as a focus of the story. Often times ships would hover in the background but weren’t counted. # Gen: 16 # Het: 15 # Slash: 18 # Fem: 5 *Some stories fall into more than one category.

# PG: 24 # PG-13: 16 # R: 2 # NC-17/Explicit: 3

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?. Feels like more, honestly. I would have not thought I’d write as much as I ended up writing for Battleship. (Although, looking at last year’s meme…apparently I wrote around 7k* more in wordcount last year, though 15 fics less. Which I guess is the effect of writing a lot of short fics for Battleship but not having Heart Attack in the fall/not until spring this round. And then things like Like Northern Stars because ~3k longer than my longest fic this year and my longest non-10k-exchange fic this year being shorter than the same for last year (roughly 9k vs 13k). Interesting.) (*Technically ~5k since I’m not counting the OrigFic here but it did take up writing space.)

Where did you publish/archive your stories? AO3 with some cross-posting to Tumblr. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? *sigh* The battleship porn – both the tentacles and the threesome. Also never thought I’d write Regulus/Sirius or Jily. And yet. Did you take any writing risks this year? *Gestures vaguely at like half of what I wrote for Battleship* Do you have any writing goals for the new year? Honestly, I’d like to work on some of the longer/more involved ideas that I have but feel like there’s never the time for. What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest. Real hard to pick from the top 3...but probably Love's Heavy Burden. Okay, NOW your most popular story? Going by kudos, The Price of Loyalty. Story of yours most underappreciated by the universe, in your opinion? Love’s Heavy Burden. Story that could have been better?

There’s always a bunch, and I feel like this year the format of Battleship requiring both speed and a lot of stretching out the comfort zone produced a few mediocre results. Most fun story to write? You know I’m not sure… Maybe Shelter In The Storm? Story with single sweetest moment? There were a few mostly-fluff fics and I’m not sure which one of them wins out. I mean, something like Daytrip is all fluff and comfort really!

The story that made you cry? I think The Price of Loyalty came closest.

Most “holy crap, that’s wrong, even for you” story? *sigh* The tentacles ones. (Not that “for me” is a very high bar, mind, lol.) Sexiest story? Ah, no idea, but I’d like to think it’s A New Peace. Hardest story to write There were a few lol. (What you won’t do for your Battleship team xD Although part of me wants to say it’s the fic I wrote for the Theon Exchange lol.)

Easiest story to write? Victory, but only because it was largely repurposed from a scrap scene I already had sitting around. Most unintentionally telling story *shrug* I really never know how to answer this one lol. Story you haven’t yet written, but intend to Ahaha you know the throbb/reyne AU I mentioned last year? Still that one *lolsob*

#fanfiction #meme #writing #fandom #op

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mango-ribs · 1 year

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Howdy Howdy, let me help your boredom a bit friend, I was doing a "like this post and I'll send you an ask" but didn't go through all the question ideas yet. SOOOOOOO, let me find my post-it notes... Ah, here...since you did say you like world building in your main post, I HAVE to ask. What's your favorite world that you've built? What were some of the characters in it? What were things like? Fantasy? Sci-Fi? Etc? If you can't pick a favorite tell me the one that you threw the most effort into. (Bonus Question: If I remember correctly, I saw you made a post a while ago of making a normal guy and then completely ruining him? Are you still working on that because it sounded tight!) AND have a swelltastic day, friendo!

Hi there!! :D

That is.. an AMAZING question, I don’t even know how to really answer without something that’s 204840495 miles long complete with annotations and my whole life story, but I’ll do my best! :)

My favorite world I’ve made, hmmm… I suppose I can split that into categories. One being the one I spent the most time on, one I indulge most in, one that brings me the most comfort and one that I simply enjoy the most.

Btw in each section I’ll state the name of the universe/whatever I call the world/storyline, so feel free to ask questions abt them ,,,

Here we gooo!

‘Spent most time on?’

I usually spend a couple months each on every world I make, but the longest running one I still indulge in today is probably The Misfits Universe, which I spent a total of 8 years working on, and recently ended a 5 year long roleplay in.

It’s a very special universe to me I don’t tell many people about actually, it started completely by accident where I met some friendly people on a roblox game called Misfits High and we started roleplaying normally. What started as us just doing random rp’s with characters we made up on the spot every week or so grew into a daily thing for years, expanding characters and the lore and it just became so beautiful.

It’s very very loose in plot as there are like a million different characters, what we sort of did instead of making a solid storyline we had a bunch of characters and simply roleplayed their storylines within the universe. It’s what I do with a lot of worlds actually, I find it a lot more freeing! But yeah, it’s set in an alternate reality where humans and monsters are separated from one another under the rule of a clan of gods. The characters are centered around a haunted old town that used to be human only until it was infected with a special virus and yadayadayada, it’s too much to explain LOL

It’s gotten to the point where I can tell you the creation of the universe and it’s dimensions as a whole but it has a LOOOOT of plot holes due to us making it when were so young. I’m so sad to see it go but I think it’s time I finally lay it to rest, it’s no longer interesting and has so many terrible memories attached to the past. I intend to keep using some of the characters I got from it :)

‘Most indulgent?’

That one is pretty hard to answer as lately I’ve been much more indulgent in my worlds rather than focusing on strict rules. Sort of just letting myself fuck around and do whatever I want. But my most indulgent probably has to be Kongoiro Universe, it’s essentially a universe where everything is sort of utopia like.

It’s where I sorta just dump everything I daydream about that doesn’t take place in another specific universe. It’s a place I can escape to, and pretend I live in a world where struggles are temporary. But otherwise it’s kinda boring..

‘Most comfort?’

Oooof this is a hard one. I rarely make non-comforting/angsty universes anymore for personal reasons (though soon I really wanna get back at it,) but the most comforting one I have is probablyyyy…. Magic In Threes.

Magic in Threes is a series-type thing I have in my head inspired by Chonny Jash’s songs! (hes absolutely amazing, creates covers of tally hall and changes the lyrics and god it’s amazing.) it is about a character nicknamed Soul, who are followed by incarnations of his suffering. Dark, a massive demon, represents the darkness: Depression, the mind, the past, Soul’s anger, etc. Light, an angelic being, represents the light: Hope, trickery, the heart, impulsiveness, and the future. Just because Light represents hope does not mean he is good. Both attempt to guide Soul through life and the infinite labyrinth that is his mindpalace, and overcome the struggles of living with trauma.

And I’m kinda projecting—

‘Enjoy the most?’

I don’t really know if I have one I enjoy the most, each one has their own things that make me like them and dislike them. Though one that is up there is definitely Lucraca, my take of a cyberpunk post-apocalyptic dystopia where humans have been long dead and the world is now controlled by robots (mostly object-heads.)

I have so much fun coming up with different concepts for it, it’s a wee bit cliche but its my world and I decide the dystopia Goddammit!!!! there are also a lot of AUs but they’re extremely fucked up and I won’t be getting into them rn LOL

But uH yeah,,, thank you for listening to my ramble and asking such a great question, this made me super happy!! If you guys want you can ask questions abt my universes, currently I believe I have around 71 documented and like a million more brewing up in my head. also yes I did hit the Funny Number.

*vine boom*

#mangos writing #mangos ocs #ask #mango ribs #mangos universes #Lucraca #Magic in Threes #Kongoiro Universe #The Misfits

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liminalpsych · 1 year

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Fandom-Focused Introduction

About Me

Pronouns: They/them, followed by ve/vir or xe/xir, followed by any other neopronouns. Just avoid he/she/it and you’re good.

Identifiers: Queer, non-binary trans / agender, gray-ace / demisexual, ADHD, polyamorous, Pagan, disabled (hEDS / Ehlers Danlos hypermobile type, POTs / postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, PTSD, maybe Sjogren's according to rheumatologist, possible MCAS / mast cell activation syndrome), kinky (feral/primal top-leaning switch)

Other demographics: 37 years old (mid 1980’s in case I forget to update this in a few years), USA, white

Links

liminalpsych on Archive Of Our Own

Active Fandoms

Fandoms I’m actively engaged in, participating in, reading and writing in, obsessing over, etc.

Arthurian literature: New interest! New hyperfocus! Reading all the original material and some new stuff too. It’s ridiculous, Arthurian myth is basically just a centuries-long accumulation of fanfic and OC’s that tons of people have collectively headcanoned and called it canon. Wild. Got into it thanks to Heather Dale’s Arthurian songs that made me start writing a fix-it fic to Trial of Lancelot where Lancelot, Arthur, and Guenivere are in a polyamorous triad. Because love triangles where everyone actually cares about each other and so polyamory would fix it easily drive me mad. But then I couldn’t figure out the story ending because I didn’t know enough about Arthurian literature, shelved it for almost a decade, then recently pulled it out, dove into Arthurian lore, and got hooked. Gonna be posting a lot about it. I think I’ve followed all the Arthuriana accounts I could find…

Genshin Impact: I haven’t been this into a piece of media in years. Favorite characters are Alhaitham, Xiao, Zhongli, Ningguang, Yae Miko, Ayato, Dehya, Baizhu (who is a whole damn gender, as is Alhaitham), Dottore (favorite villain to hate, great character, terrible person). My Traveler is Aether and I main Itto (who I adore, though he doesn’t make the top 10 list of favorite characters).

Inactive Fandoms

Fandoms I’ve been involved with in the past but not currently. Probably wouldn’t take much to make them active again, but they’re currently on the back burner.

Dragon Age (Inquisition especially, don’t care for Origins, still working on playing through DA2)

Sherlock Holmes (every iteration I’ve encountered, but BBC Sherlock’s first two seasons especially)

Redwall (my entire adolescence, my first roleplaying experience, and setting of the longest story I’ve ever written)

Early Marvel MCU (mostly the original Avengers crew + Loki, all the trauma and found family stuff)

World of Darkness (Mage: the Ascension particularly)

Flight Rising

Casual Fandoms

The honorable mentions. Fandoms I haven’t actively participated in but which hold a special place in my heart.

Terre d’Ange (Kushiel novels by Jacqueline Carey)

Valdemar (Mercedes Lackey)

Tortall (Tamora Pierce)

Feral Souls trilogy (Erica Woods)

Farscape

Legend of Zelda (Ocarina of Time had a major impact on my developmental preteen brain, though Twilight Princess is my favorite)

Final Fantasy (7 and 10 especially)

Dune (first 3 books, also 2020 movie)

#introductory post #introduction #about me

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liminal-psych · 1 year

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About

Note: I’m moving everything here over to liminalpsych, because this was a subaccount to an account I made years ago and haven’t touched in years, and tumblr doesn’t let you swap a sub account for your primary account. Starting over it is!

Pronouns: They/them, followed by ve/vir or xe/xir, followed by any other neopronouns. Just avoid he/she/it and you’re good.

Identifiers: Queer, non-binary, agender, kinky, gray-ace/demisexual, ADHD, polyamorous (…for well over a decade and a half now, yikes)

What I do: Psychotherapy (specializing in trauma, adhd/autism, gender dysphoria/transition support, GSMs), equestrian activities (have two minis and three full sized horses in my backyard), live action roleplaying, aviculture (I own some parrots and finches), writing sometimes

Links:

liminal_psych on Archive Of Our Own

Active Fandoms

Fandoms I’m actively engaged in, participating in, reading and writing in, obsessing over, etc.

Arthurian literature: New interest! New hyperfocus! Reading all the original material and some new stuff too. It’s ridiculous, Arthurian myth is basically just a centuries-long accumulation of fanfic and OC’s that tons of people have collectively headcanoned and called it canon. Wild. Got into it thanks to Heather Dale’s Arthurian songs that made me start writing a fix-it fic to Trial of Lancelot where Lancelot, Arthur, and Guenivere are in a polyamorous triad. Because love triangles where everyone actually cares about each other and so polyamory would fix it easily drive me mad. But then I couldn’t figure out the story ending because I didn’t know enough about Arthurian literature, shelved it for almost a decade, then recently pulled it out, dove into Arthurian lore, and got hooked. Not sure whether to make a separate Tumblr for it or not but I’ll just do all my fandom stuff here for now.

Inactive Fandoms

Fandoms I’ve been involved with in the past but not currently. Probably wouldn’t take much to make them active again, but they’re currently on the back burner.

Dragon Age (Inquisition especially, don’t care for Origins, still working on playing through DA2)

Sherlock Holmes (every iteration I’ve encountered, but BBC Sherlock’s first two seasons especially)

Redwall (my entire adolescence, my first roleplaying experience, and setting of the longest story I’ve ever written)

Early Marvel MCU (mostly the original Avengers crew + Loki, all the trauma and found family stuff)

World of Darkness (Mage: the Ascension particularly)

Flight Rising

Casual Fandoms

The honorable mentions. Fandoms I haven’t actively participated in but which hold a special place in my heart.

Terre d’Ange (Kushiel novels by Jacqueline Carey)

Valdemar (Mercedes Lackey)

Tortall (Tamora Pierce)

Feral Souls trilogy (Erica Woods)

Farscape

Legend of Zelda (Ocarina of Time had a major impact on my developmental preteen brain)

Final Fantasy (7 and 10 especially)

Dune (first 3 books, also 2020 movie)

LARPs

NERO/Alliance/Refuge (staffed, roleplayed, don’t play anymore but have posted character stories in AO3)

New World Magischola (R.I.P)

Event Horizon (R.I.P)

Daemon, in 2023 anyway

Temet Nosce (personal brainchild, on hold indefinitely)

World of Darkness / Mind’s Eye Theater (haven’t done this in aaages)

#arthuriana #intro post #about post #introducing myself #fandom #genshin impact #arthurian lore #arthurian mythology #arthurian legend #arthurian literature

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toddaldrington · 1 year

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Let’s see how this does on here: I’m going to post the first chapter of my latest furry story, ‘Take Off Your Pants and Sneakers’. Yes the title is a homage to a certain rock album from my misspent college years 20+ years ago when I should have been a furry… You can also find this on SoFurry.com and my Patreon subscribers have been getting this for a few weeks already. There will probably be about 6 parts.

Quick summary: Alex is a snow leopard guitar tech. Hunter is a drummer and an atypically well-built ermine. Their boss is a fox asshole. Not to worry though, he’s just bought a new RV for the road crew and Alex is about to invite Hunter into it for some fun…and might also give in to the temptation to tell Hunter that his name really is Alex and not the one the entire band and crew have been calling him for the last three years, and what the story behind that is…

Please note, this story is for 18+ readers only. If you’re a minor please come back when you reach your 18th birthday.

Otherwise, have fun! This story now has the record for the longest erotic scene I’ve written, and get this: I usually do M-M gay fiction, but this time my main character is bisexual and has a flashback to a hot evening with his ex girlfriend ‘back home’ to boot, so there’s something for more readers this time around.

These characters are also part of what’s going to be a longer series as well, and this story will eventually be adapted into it. You saw it all here first!

* * *

Part 1

It’s nice to sleep on something that’s not moving for a change.

I mean the tour bus. Pervert.

Tonight though I’ve also had an unexpected pleasure: I moved out of the main crew bus and into my boss’s special one. Here’s a little taste of who Rico is: he’s made so much money on this tour that he’s not giving his band a raise, he’s bought a new RV for his guitars, and he’s put his tech in them.

So here’s who I am: I’ve dutifully moved all Rico’s babies into the new family touring home, and on the same night Rico decided to take a week off the road to go and take care of some non-guitar family stuff in L.A. So I picked up his best guitar, a white Gibson ES35, worth about ten grande (more than double that if Rico’s boast that it once belonged to Alex Lifeson from Rush is actually true), found the band practicing (as expected during their boss’s week off) and said ‘Can I jam?’

Dumb question, they always let me jam. Of all the secrets I keep, the fact that I can play on a similar par to our boss isn’t one of them. Except tonight I wanted to test a theory: these guys really needed a break from Rico’s jazz-rock-blues zone where no mistake was tolerated. So when Darcy the lioness on keyboards said ‘What are we playing?’ I said two words that normally strike disgust into musicians like these guys:

‘Blink 182.’

That brought Hunter to life. More so than usual. When I’d wanted to jam and said ‘Let’s try and sound like Dream Theater’ that had done it for him. Now it was like I’d stick his tail in a plug socket.

‘Fuck yeah we’re gonna!’ He said. ‘Holy shit Snowball, is that Fantasma? Rico’s gonna fucking kill you!’

Just like Rico to call his favourite guitar the Spanish word for ghost. ‘How come?’ I said, with a shrug as I shut the case. ‘Who’s gonna tell?’

Instead of saying ‘Hellooo, dweeb-boys, what the fuck does a keyboard do in a Blink song?’ she took up the mic. Jax the bass playing antelope, as usual, didn’t say anything at all. They carried the ‘There’s nothing that guy can’t play’ without words, right down to being chilled about how most people would naturally use the male pronouns now even thought Jax was born Jaqui, and went through being Jack as a teenager to deciding they weren’t quite one or the other and combined the two, by the that time looking overwhelmingly male. Who cared? There really was nothing Jax couldn’t play, including Blink 182. Which sounded amazing in Darcy’s voice. Tyler, Rico’s porcupine rhythm and back-up lead player, let me take lead. We played the whole of Enema of the State, then I asked for ‘Online Songs’ and let Darcy play Fantasma while I just sang, because that was one of those songs that was so fun it made me want to forget playing the guitar and just be the frontman.

‘Hey Techsnep,’ Darcy said. (She always seems to forget my name, or at least the name I go by nowadays, but as long as I never hear my real name come out of her mouth, even by accident, I’ll let her call me pretty much anything.) ‘Rico can say whatever he likes about this kinda music, but here’s something I know.’ She handed me Fantasma back. ‘When he auditions his drummers, you know what he does?’

Hunter laughed and flicked one of his sticks into the air like a baton and caught it. ‘You tell him this and Rico will make sure you never work again.’

‘Fuck him,’ Darcy said. ‘According to Rico, you know you’ve got the right drummer when there’s one song they can nail.’

‘Songs with seriously cool drum stuff,’ I thought. ‘Rico. Something unexpected. It’d be cool but not too flashy.’ I put on a theatrical thinking look, knowing I was going to get it wrong. ‘Got it! Phil Collins. It’d only be In the Air Tonight.’

‘Heavier,’ Hunter said.

‘Muzzle by the Smashing Pumpkins.’

Hunter gave me such a look I wondered if he actually did have a boner. ‘We’re totally doing that in a minute, but no. Go even more un-Rico than that.’

Darcy rolled her eyes. ‘Enough already, teenage geek boys. It’s Basket Case by Green Day. We gonna audition Hunter?’

‘Shit,’ I said, shaking my head. ‘Yeah, sure, gimme a minute, it’s been a long time since I…’ When did I last do that one? I wasn’t really asking myself so much as trying to push thoughts of my old band out of my head. The last time I played this was when it was a request. I was 16 and we were playing a reunion gig for people who had gone to our highschool a little while before us. There was one guy who’d gotten expelled for making death threats worthy of a Wes Craven flick but really it was because he had had mental health issues and I really didn’t want to look at him while I was singing that song, but only because I’d always thought it was a shame, because Kayden was actually pretty cool. Cool enough that my dad had let him take the ‘get out of town’ option instead of getting sectioned. Cool enough that he was back for the reunion and had somehow been allowed entry.

It took one simple thing to clear those days from my head: there was something Hunter did with that drum intro and repeated on every ‘I think I’m cracking up’ that just took it to another level. It was like the same technique that nailed that Neil Peart-esque thing he always did where he rolled down the entire kit like the end of ‘Natural Science’ or ‘Limelight’. He’d added that to a Green Day song, extra notes between the already rapid gunfire drum-fill the whole world knew in the middle of that song.

God I loved Hunter, right down to how he was the only drummer that Rico hadn’t bullied off a tour, because Rico had somehow realised that Hunter couldn’t be bullied. It was like some nonchalant immunity, and instead of hating it Rico had come to respect it. What the hell was it? Rico always seemed to hate full of life people because he clearly feared them taking the spotlight away from him in any room, or just hated their flamboyance, but Hunter wasn’t flamboyant. The whole crew knew he was gay, but he was the kind of gay that passed for straight until you walked past his trailer to hear whoever he was with either howling, growling, or plain begging. Maybe Rico just kept him because he seemed to want his latest band to be token-diverse.

I don’t care about anyone’s reasons for much tonight. I just want to jerk off thinking about Hunter. He’s immune to the risks of being out too. I can’t even make peace with how I’m probably bisexual. I want to be one or the other and feel like my stupid body and brain finally made a decision for me, and lately I think I want to be gay.

I thought everything with Finn back home had killed that side of me off, until halfway through my life of hiding from the law on tour busses, I met Rico for the second time in my life, and then Rico hired Hunter, and I knew I’d dealt with exactly nothing.

Tonight though I just need to get off.

Forget what anyone says about tours and groupies, getting your rocks off with someone in a top bunk that makes the bus feel like we’re all packed into a morgue most nights is seriously uncomfortable. Thankfully nobody in this band’s on heroin, because I often think sleeping like this feels like a rehearsal for where you’d end up after an OD. Add 80kph to that already wrong-for-sex atmosphere and you don’t want your dick in a tight place.

Tonight though, we’re not moving, and I’ve got Hunter to think about and a wicked hard-on take care of.

There might be no heroin, but a couple of nights I’ve seen Hunter so pumped up both during and after a performance that I’d damn sure he’d crack-piped some meth. I’m no expert on spotting who’s on what, but Hunter reminded me uncomfortably of Finn those nights, except that Hunter could make something amazing happen while on drugs, if he even was and it wasn’t just him having the time of his life, but damn, that extra hype and looking around more was exactly what I saw on Finn right before he started loosing control of his.

All I’d done to try and reassure myself was ask Darcy ‘Hey, just between you and me, did Hunter get hold of something? Like maybe something blue?’

Darcy gave me that friendly but firm look I needed from her. ‘One, it’s never really blue in real life. Two, even if he did, which I seriously doubt even if he is wired as fuck tonight, we’re not asking questions about it because we do not need Rico kicking him off this tour. So we let Rico ask, and we let Hunter do whatever he does that always keeps him here no matter what.’

‘Got it.’ I nodded, and thought about going to the bar to get another vodka and coke in the hope it would dull my need to ask Hunter about it myself. That’s when Darcy caught hold of my jacket sleeve and turned me back around.

‘Hey,’ she said. ‘I never told you this, okay? There was one night when it was just me and him packing kit up. I got him talking in a way he doesn’t usually talk. He told me something personal. I’m not gonna tell you what it was, but let’s put it this way: if there’s a guy who knows life’s too short for fucking up with drugs then it’s Hunter. I don’t think he’s doing meth. I think this is him when everything seems a little too intensely cool and he doesn’t quite know how to express it even on a drum kit.’

‘Yeah, that was Finn and a piano once.’

‘Who?’

‘Never mind. Shit from back home. Ex…friend of mine. I thought he was just on meth but it was worse than that. Some shit happened. That’s why I got on a road in the first place. I need this tour too. So of course I’m not going to Rico with this shit. That’s why it’s you tonight instead.’

Darcy and I liked each other. We’d done each other good a couple of times on quiet tour-bus nights. Hunter had once said ‘Hey Darc, tomorrow night can you fuck Dylan a bit more quietly? I really need better sleep.’ The little bastard. He was the heaviest sleeper on the entire band and crew combined, and he’d faked it to listen to us doing it? I’d have been pissed if it had been anyone but him.

‘Dylan.’ Darcy kept me there again. I’d long since started getting used to my cover name that I no longer worried that one day I’d respond to Alex because someone called another person that and I mistook it for them trying to get my attention instead. ‘If you like Hunter, tell him. Because everyone knows, including him. Isn’t it about time you did something about it?’

I shook my head. ‘I’m straight, Darcy. I like Hunter because he’s a cool person.’

‘Are you fuck, and even if the second part of that’s true, you’ll think he’s cooler if you actually just do go and have sex with him.’

‘If he wanted that with me he’d have sought me out for it already and you know he would. Besides, even if I was gay, I’d be too scared. We’ve all been past the bus when he’s with guys. Wouldn’t you be pants-pissing terrified?’ I knew she’d probably let me have the last word, but I couldn’t resist one thing: ‘What do you suppose he’s into?’

She shrugged. ‘Dunno. Apart from one thing, but everyone knows about that.’

‘I don’t.’

‘Oh come on, snow brain. Why do you think he’s always buying sneakers? The guy’s got a whole suit case full of them. Rico lets him have an extra one because without them, no mojo. It’s not just a fashion thing.’

‘Your reckon? Come on, it’s just a thing for showing off how he can afford designer clothes.’

‘Guess again. There is nothing that guy doesn’t know about feet. He might have been one hell of a podiatrist if he’d had med-school smarts and been able not to get a hard-on as soon as an attractive person took their socks off. I let him take mine off one night. I needed to relax. I figured if there was one guy who’d know how to give a good foot massage, it was him. Oh holy fuck did I get an education. He got hard for me but it was in a totally nice and non-pervert way, and he totally didn’t want sex with me. He liked giving me a nice time, like a gentleman. He actually acted a bit deliberately charming. It wasn’t quite him. But God my feet needed it.’

I was heading for a twilight zone hearing this from her.

‘For God’s sake, snep. Go on. Not even Rico cares who you stick your dick in. Nobody’d even care if you genuinely aren’t gay but you just wanted to fuck Hunter anyway because he’s Hunter, and you’ve not had sex in three years of touring. Apart from twice with me.’

Not true, but irrelevant. ‘What does it take to never have this conversation with you again?’

‘Dyl, I’m a queen-of-the-cats type lioness, and I gave you a pretty damn good time, right down to how you were so up for it you actually did make me come. Congratulations, you’re good at sex. Yes I believe you once had a serious long-term girlfriend and before whatever went wrong, you were having a good time. But was what we did together really the highest point you could possibly reach? Because I don’t think so. I think you need to be in love.’ She smiled. It became a lion’s grin, and she flicked her eyes at Hunter.

I sighed. ‘I’m not in love with Hunter.’ I left a long pause. ‘I’m maybe a little bit interested. Or maybe a infatuated. It’s cool. Be it’s not love.’

She thought for a moment. ‘You know Hunter’s an orphan, right?’

‘No,’ I said. ‘Why would I know that? That’s not exactly something a lot of orphans advertise.’

‘No, but he’s open about it if you get him talking. No secret. But you wanna know what I think?’

I always want to know what Darcy Whitman thinks, but the last thing I’m ever going to do is tell her that. All I had to do that night was what I always do in that situation: say nothing and wait.

‘There’s stuff Hunter doesn’t say about where he comes from, but here’s what I think it is from hints he’s dropped. I think some pair of stupid fucks put him in a basket on an orphanage doorstep because Mommy couldn’t handle how she had sex with someone who either wasn’t another ermine, just something similar. Or maybe Daddy was the “right species”.’ She said it so well I could hear the inverted commas and knew what was coming next. ‘But he wasn’t a white one. You get what I’m saying?’

‘Even if you’re right, why are you telling me?’

‘Who do you think Hunter is underneath, Dylan? Look at him. Everywhere he goes, people see a ‘cross-breed.’ They call it ‘person of mixed ancestry’ now, like we aren’t all technically that. There’s no term for it that doesn’t sound like it’s meant to be an insult somehow. People might try, but the whole point is people like Hunter still get looked at like they might be the wrong sort of different. They get arrested more, they get paid less, they get blamed for things that are nothing to do with them, they’re a scapegoat. Even some people who recognise how wrong that all is still have hang-ups, because that’s how prejudice works. Unless?’

‘Unless what?’

‘Think about it, snep.’

I thought for a few minutes while we had another drink each. I didn’t know where she wanted me to go with this. ‘Where’s Hunter from?’

‘Colorado.’

‘He ever tell you what his foster family are like? Or did nobody ever adopt him? Did he learn to play drums on a kit donated to an orphanage and drive everyone nuts with the noise?’ I could just imagine it all too easily.

‘It’s probably an obvious and dumb question all at once, but why not, y’know, ask Hunter all this?’

I smiled. ‘And there it is. The point. You’re trying to make me so irresistibly reporter-style curious about him that that’s exactly what I do, and you think somehow it’s going to strike up a conversation that ends with him asking me if he can fuck my pants off, maybe just to shut me up asking questions.’

‘Yeah, I did think that might work. But keep thinking, snow boy. I’m gonna go put my head down. Have a good night.’

Am I irritated tonight because now that I have time to think after the fun of today’s trailer-move and illicit jam session is over, I still have no idea what sudden thought I’m supposed to have that gives me a life-changing epiphany that somehow ends up with me having the night of my life with Hunter Kershaw? The mixed origin ermine, who I never think of as being mixed, or cross-breed, or even as being anything but Hunter Kershaw. Probably, yeah. But it’s best I just stay irritated.

Having anything I believe to be an epiphany and approaching Hunter with it will probably end in disaster somehow. The last time I felt like this about anyone, it was Finn and Bonnie both at once, and look how that fucking ended. Finn’s in and out of psych wards all the time, Bonnie’s lucky to be alive and not in prison, and both of them wish I was dead. Not to mention that I should be in prison, according to the way the law works, and sooner or later this grand effort to stay out of it is going to fail and I’m going to have to do my time.

Not today. Not tonight. Maybe not for quite a few more nights after this. But fuck it, I’m still not poisoning Hunter Kershaw’s life by inviting him into mine. I don’t deserve anyone like him even looking at me. I’m lucky I’ve got that. I’m lucky he wants to have elicit jam sessions with me where we play music our boss despises and it’s half because Rico despises it. I want to stay lucky this time.

So no, I’m still not going to try and have that good night Darcy wanted me to have several weeks ago and go and talk to Hunter until I end up being his yeowling, begging sex-slave. Now that I’ve got Rico’s new trailer straight and set up for me to do my job in, and now that I’ve had my jam session on Fantasma and my college rock fix to boot, I’m going to turn in, jerk my dick off thinking about Hunter and enjoy how even after six months on the road with him, the secret thoughts where he makes me come are the one thing that stop me being angry about how I fucked things up with Bonnie. I should be on these tours waiting to go home to her at the end. I should have completed my community service and finished college all in the same year, and then I would be free for good. I should have waited.

Instead I snapped one day when my comserv supervisor docked me an hour. One stupid hour. Why did it even set me off? Why did I have to go and be chimp-mode Alex right when I needed to be a grown up and just deal with shit?

‘Look, I was on the phone for that hour instead of picking up trash because my friend’s sick and there’s issues I can’t avoid, and I didn’t even want that call but his psychiatrist said it was urgent that we talked together, and how can I go to the hospital when I’m here? Doing com-serv. Picking up little bits of trash because that’s somehow more important than looking after a person.’

‘Mr Shaeffer.’ Like calling me that took the edge off her. ‘I’m sorry about your problems.’ Was she fuck. ‘But we’re here to pick up trash. You spent an hour not picking up trash, and that means the others get to log that hour and you don’t.’

I should have taken it. I should have handled it the way someone with a smarter head would have. IE Someone like Hunter, who life could throw anything at and he’d do the right thing. Instead I did what I’d always resisted doing to my mother, to any teacher who ever disciplined me unfairly, to Dad after his worst behaviour. To anyone. I turned to that dog, stared her down, let her walk back towards the bus and I gave it to her.

‘You bitch.’ That turned everyone’s heads pretty quick. ‘What is it, you don’t like cats? You dock me an hour when someone else needed my time more than you did? well you’re lucky. There are cats who’d give you fucking claws for that.’

Needless to say, I wasn’t allowed back on the bus. I walked all the way back into Cedar Rapids knowing I was probably going to be arrested for threatening her even though technically I hadn’t and might just get away with it if anyone corroborated how I’d said what I’d said, but who was I kidding? I was imagining her getting a claw swipe. I’d gotten away with a lot already in the eyes of many people, most of all Mom and Dad, but implying I might have done something like that? That was going to tear it almost as much as actually doing it.

That’s when I knew it was get out of town time. My first lucky break was knowing I’d already been offered a chance. That tour bus that was in town with Albino Dragons needed a new tech. I’d said no thanks, I had stuff I had to finish before I could take off on the touring life. Was it too late to change my mind? As it turned out, no. I had a condition to add though: I was going to change my name, and they’d have to help me live as my new identity, including by paying me in cash because I no longer wanted to use the bank account in my real name.

So I became Dylan Highwood. Who’s now trying not to be ashamed of one day three and half years ago while he makes himself come thinking about a guy he can’t have.

It’s not working. If this keeps happening, I’m going to crack within a few more months and decide it’s time to go back to Cedar Rapids and face the one kind of music I’d almost kill to avoid. That can’t happen, the killing part or the facing. I can’t leave this tour, because I can’t walk away from Hunter, Darcy or even Rico like this. Not after everything Rico’s done to help me stay here. He might be a dick, but he’s my kind of dick, and besides, I’m worse, and as long as everyone’s attention is on Rico then it’s not on me and what I’ve done.

So falling asleep limp and ashamed of myself is okay, because tomorrow I’ll be ready to get up and go to work again, making sure my forty-five year old boss isn’t reduced to the level of a five year old whose parents won’t buy him a toy if one of his grown-up toys is even slightly out of tune. That will clear these vibes out of me. Maybe I’ll just invite Hunter in to look at my new set-up. If I play it right, I might even be able to get Rico to let Hunter travel in here with me if I say that I’ve gotten used to the way Hunter snores and now I’m finding I can’t get used to falling asleep myself, because without Hunter all I can hear is the bus and I hate that sound (I actually don’t, but I’m getting creative already…and that’s how I know that whole idea is too risky and I need to stop it now and just fall asleep with only Rico’s awesome collection of guitars for company.)

There’s a knock on the door. I’m ignoring it.

About a minute passes and the knock comes again. This time there’s a voice.

‘Hey snep, I know you’re not asleep. It’s barely eight o-clock.’

Oh no. Seriously no.

This time the knocking’s insistent. ‘Open the goddamn door, snow ball! Come on, don’t be an asshole.’

‘I’m working!’ I decide, in my most irritated voice.

Laughter follows. ‘You’re in bed, you little liar! I can hear the covers moving.’

No bluff. Hunter always wears ear-plugs so despite being pounded with drum sound all the time, his hearing really would be that good.

‘Come on you fucker, let me in. There’s something I wanna talk to you about.’

Christ, Darcy, what the hell have you done? Hunter wouldn’t be here saying that if you hadn’t said something. Probably tried the same sort of act on him that you did on me in reverse, only he didn’t just bite, he took the bait knowing it was bait, and not with his mouth, so now he’s going to flash out of the water and unleash some sort of hell on not only the fisherman, but any goddamn thing he wants. Just so he can laugh and say ‘Surprise!’ afterwards.

Goddamn it.

Why am I about to open the door?

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puredivinity · 3 years

Text

a moonlit confession | eren jaeger

❣︎ hi hi!! welcome to the longest thing i’ve written and a project that was spawned by, and added onto by @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface and @gojosweets. i adore them very much and without them, i probably wouldn’t have done this ngl. this is a very not historically accurate greek mythology au <3

❣︎ warnings: nsfw (18+), very slight breeding kink, mutual masturbation, cunnilingus, handjobs, very soft post return sex, slight and non-descriptive mentions of death. it’s also unedited.

❣︎ word count: 3.2k

To you, there is nothing worse than yearning for your lover.

A lover that you are unsure of.

Wondering if they’re okay, if they’re breathing, if they’re alive. If they’ve made it out in one piece, physically. It would be a miracle if they made it out whole mentally, knowing good and well how harsh the trials of battle are. You remind yourself that he is tough, and that he is strong. He is your warrior; your love, your beauty, your grace. He is there for you in all realms, despite not being there physically. You are together forever and always, in spirit and in body.

The wind blows the fabric of your gown, picking it up off the floor of the balcony beneath you. The coldness of the surface causes you to hiss when your feet make contact with it, but it’s quickly pushed to the back of your mind, buried beneath the flurry of uprising thoughts. Where is he? You wonder, painful thoughts tainting your mind. Your fingers curl around the rail of the balcony that overlooks the rest of your dwelling -- the beautiful home Eren’s parents had gifted you as a present of your union. The union of which they blessed and honored.

The moonlight tonight was of no other night. It shone brightly and beautifully, high up in the sky. It overlooked you, basking you in its glow. It illuminated all that was high and below, and it became your beacon of hope. For when Eren was gone, the moon was what you turned to. He was your sun, and you were his moon. It is what he told you the night before he left; your last night together where all you could do was hold one another, love each other, cling on like your last thread of life. It could’ve been his, for all you know.

“I miss you,” You speak out into the wind and it carries your words with its breeze, high and low, but not forgotten. “I miss you so much, Eren, I--” your words halt there, fearing the worst. Fearing to speak the worst, fearing to think the worst. In your heart, you know he is alive. You feel it in your bones. But your mind is a different story. You cast your eyes downward to gaze into the everclear pool of water below you, tracing the fountains with your sorrowful gaze. It is clear enough that you can see your own reflection, down to every detail. Every tear that pools and threatens to spill down your cheeks, the glossy and gloomy gaze your eyes hold -- all of it.

You are about to make a plea to the highest god when you make out a face beside yours, that looks strangely like Eren’s and strong, sturdy arms engulf you from behind.

At first, you don’t believe it. It feels unreal, although it is all you have ever wanted. All you could remember wanting since he had left you.

His eyes met yours in the pristine water below you and your heart leapt in your chest. It smelled like him, looked like him, and even felt like him. The familiar arms he held you in, day and night, day to day, night to morning. The whisper of your name was careful against your skin as he pressed your body to his, fingers breaching the thin fabric of your gown. He was still clad in his armor, bronze and firm, and you wonder if it hurts him.

A kiss is pressed to the side of your neck. He is trying to get you to look at him, to bless him with those beautiful eyes of yours, but you will not. He wonders if you’re mad at him, but one glance at the way you’ve melted into him tells him otherwise.

“I’m here,” he confirms, pulling away from you and slowly turning you to look at him, “Do you see me, Princess?”

Of course you see him, you think, but do you really see him?

You have missed him for forever and ever, yet you cannot speak a word to him. You have imagined speaking to him, loving him for days on end, and you cannot say a word. Perhaps it’s the shock, or the sheer bewilderment you feel, but regardless - you are speechless, and rightfully so.

He takes your hand in his, carefully brushing the back of yours with his thumb as he brings it up to his chest. He places it over his bare chest, armor long removed, resting in the place it used to be. Right over his heart, right where his heart thumps in his chest, Where it pounds in his chest, where it lives in his chest. A sign of life that you almost mistake for your imagination, no matter how real he may feel.

But then, you feel it. You feel it the second you look at him, the second your eyes stare into those beautiful jade green orbs. And you fall. Your tears came quickly, rushing out of you, and it is then that you step forward and wrap your arms tightly around him, ear pressed to his chest. You feel him. You see him. He is real. He is your lover, and he has returned to you.

Eren wastes no time in embracing you just as tightly, if not more. His hands clutch the material of your nightgown, and it brings him down to earth; grounds him like no other. It is a warm feeling, the feeling of recognition, the feeling of familiarity, the feeling of being home. But it is not one that he would ever, ever want to relinquish.

“I love you,” the words fall from both your lips at the same time, desperate to tell the other what you couldn’t just hours prior, “I love you so much.”

He sweeps you right off your feet and right up into his arms, walking you backward to the balcony of which you just left, and standing firmly between your spread legs. He leans forward and engulfs you in a kiss, hands working their way from up your shoulders, where he takes his time in caressing you -- fingertips making sure to hit every groove and smooth in your skin -- down to your waist, thumbing your gown. You fear not for a second that you will fall, for your utmost trust is placed within him. And so, you use the balcony for leverage as he works you, sighing prettily into his mouth while he strokes you.

His fingers carefully undo your ties, the silk threads sliding off and undone, leaving you bare to the moonlight above you. And, oh glory, is it a sight. Eren pulls away from you, admiring the way you look underneath it. The soft glow of the light hits you well -- the way your chest heaves, rising and falling with slightly labored movements, the way your lips are parted with light breaths from the kissing, the way your hair is splayed perfectly behind you, and you are perfect in that moment.

Your beauty rivals that of Aphrodite, and even then could you give her a long run for her money.

He presses long, open mouthed kisses to your warm skin, leaving behind a beautiful sucking noise as he did so. He moved from shoulder to shoulder, to your collarbone, gently nipped at a few pieces with his teeth, basking in the delightful noises you offered him. Drinking you in like he was ravenous, hungry for your touch, your breath, your everything. For you were his rain on a dry night.

You had just one worry in the midst of it all - the servants. They would come to certainly check on your wellbeing, they usually did so around this time of night. You reached a hand to softly push him off and he looked up at you, eyes full of concern.

“The servants,” you breathed, but he only shook his head at you.

“I dismissed them earlier, before I came,” he quelled your worries with a gentle whisper, soft eyes staring right back into yours. “They won’t be back, Princess,” He assured you, and his words washed away any uneasiness you felt prior. It washed over you like a wave, pushing any bad feelings away from the surface - leaving him a clean slate to build on.

After a nod of confirmation from you and a soft thumb stroke of his cheek, he continues. He realizes how much he has missed you, and it hits him heavier than it did before he returned. It is now, when you are underneath him and those pretty moans and soft cries of his name come from you, that he truly understands the weight of your absence. His absence from you.

Warm lips kiss from the middle of your collarbone, stopping at the top of your cleavage where they rest for a while. A moment in which Eren is sure to look up at you, to catch your gaze before he continues. Through your half-lidded stare, eyes hazy with want and fervor, you meet him. Eren takes his moment to press a chaste kiss to the top and give a soft bite of love to the raised flesh of your right breast, before taking your nipple in his mouth. His tongue brushes over the pert bud, dipping the center of his tongue to get it right, to make your back arch in that special way. And it does, so beautifully, pressed flush against his front as you sigh into the air, eyes fluttering shut in complete and utter bliss. It is your first time together since he has returned, and it is all about you. Forever about you.

You call out his name, and he releases your drenched bud with a soft ‘pop’ of his lips, sliding over to the other one. The ends of his hair brush your skin, igniting a trail of goosebumps to follow. Your hand moves from its place on the balcony to rest on his shoulder, softly digging your nails in the flesh of his back. You call out to him again, rocking your hips slowly while he takes his time with you. He is careful, he is gentle, but oh goodness is he a tease. He is leaving you itching, wanting for more, almost so bad that you’re willing to beg, but he would give it all to you. Give it all for you.

You do not have to ask, he will deliver.

“I love you,” he says to you when he pulls away, his hands flutter down to your thighs and lifts them off the ground and up over his shoulders. He sinks to his knees and presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, all while maintaining eye contact with you. He can feel the heat on his face; the warmth of your arousal, your want for him.

Eren curls his hands around your thigh, holding your legs open for him. And then, he takes you. He licks slowly up your slit, glicking the tip of his tongue over your clit a few times. He laps and laps at you, drinking in your taste and flavor as it simmers on the flat of his tongue. Your moans emerge into the wind, and for a second you wonder if the servants can hear you. You experience a shadow of embarrassment at the pleasureful noises you’re making, for you’re sure they know what you’re up to by now, but it’s pushed out of the way by Eren. He pulls you right out of your head and back to him, and it’s then that you notice that you’ve been unconsciously grinding on his face.

You go to shoot out an apology for your actions, but Eren stops you before you can even say a word.

“Come for me,” he utters, yet you hear him loud and clear, “Come for me, Princess.” His request is more of a plea, urging for you to unravel beneath him. Your heart flutters at his words, and you comply. His soft spoken words send you falling over, your release washing over you in short and smooth waves while you sigh into the wind. His name falls from your lips over and over, and he continues his actions until you give him a gentle nudge to stop.

He’s pulled you from beneath the surface of the water, and he’s clutching you carefully, like a seashell on the sand.

Until he’s ready to dip you back in again.

Eren rises back to his feet, letting your legs fall from his shoulders until he picks them up and curls them around his waist. He is face to face with you again, and you can adore him. The way his eyes shine, brightly with his love for you, the slickness of his lips from devouring you, and the way he tastes when he kisses you -- it is unmatched and unrivalled. It is one like no other.

Your legs are secure around him, holding him tightly and locking in place so he cannot leave. As if he would leave. He whispers a declaration of love for you, one that you’ve heard a million times before but cannot tire of. One that is music to your ears and overpowers any and every other thought you have. Your center of focus is him, and his is you.

Hands thread through his locks, settling at the base of his scalp. You press them between your fingertips while your forehead rests upon his, gazing into his eyes and drinking him in like an oasis. The sight of him is beautiful. He is beautiful. Your lover, your one and only. You have to admit, war did him well. He was a sight to behold, a vision to see. One you want to treasure.

Your hand falls to where he is hard beneath your touch, running your finger up the length of his bare shaft. He shudders underneath your feather light stroke, and his eyes plead for more. For you to touch him, for you to love him. And you do.

Your hand wraps around it, tugging slowly and steadily. His hips sway with your movement, rocking with every twist and maneuver of your hand, following it perfectly - syncing with the rhythm. His moans are beautiful, you think, and in htat moment you want nothing more to please him, and to show him the same love he showed you. Your hand still rests in his hair, fingernails lightly scratching his scalp. Lovingly, you gaze at him. You admire him for what he is while he sits in the heavenly moonlight, keening perfectly for you. You can tell he is close - he knows he is close, but he stops you. A gentle grasp of your wrist stills your hand, and he tells you, “Inside.”

You nod and retract your hand, allowing him to shift between you and he sits at your entrance, head slipping between your folds. The slick of your core coats it, as trails past, ensuring to brush your clit - one, two, three times, each time eliciting a noise louder than the previous one.

“Eren,” you sighed his name, and his eyes glimmered with delight. He let out a pleased hum, continuing for just a second longer before he pressed a kiss to your lips in compliance, soaking up the gasp that escaped you once he’d reached it. His right hand cupped the back of your knee and his left perched upon your thigh, eyes focused on you as he entered you. He watched your face contort in pleasure when he did so, and his grip on you never relented.

He sank into your core, pleasurable keens falling from him, mixing with your similar sounds of delight. You felt wonderful, and so did he. He gave you two slow, short thrusts to further bury himself in you, and his breath fanned your face. He sank in fully, holding still for a moment. Holding still to breathe in this moment, to enjoy the feeling of you after being without you for so long.

Eren remembers the time he was without you - he was out, fighting for war, fighting for peace. One by one, he watched his comrades fall, in front of his very eyes. It was horror on those battlefields, on those streets. He was terrified of the thought of meeting the same fate they did. The same misfortune they did. Throughout his time fighting, throughout his time away, all he thought about was you and how he could not wait to come home.

And now that he is home, he doesn’t want to leave. Not alone. He doesn’t want to leave without giving you something to remember him by, without starting something with you. Without giving you the family that the two of you had always dreamed of, the one that he promised you he’d return to the night before he left. What you two laid awake in bed talking about, when he kissed your fingertips and honored you with a promise, honored you with his word. He’ll be damned if he goes off without that.

He pushes your body up against the railing of the balcony, still holding your leg open and he pulls out, dragging himself slowly out of your dripping heat, and then pushes back in. You moan, and your eyes fall down to where you connect with him; become one with him. Eren moves his hips with purpose and desire, thrusting steadily in your throbbing heat. He fills you, spreading your walls wide with every thrust, every movement, and you feel that unmistakable flutter in the depths of your belly. He hits it just right, tip fluttering against the spot that had you teetering, hanging just over your release.

“Eren,” you moaned his name and nearly melted at the look he gave you, “I love you. I love you so so so--Yes!” you babbled, not caring how loud you got or who could hear you. Eren felt your words with his entire being, pleased to know that you felt just as good, if not better than he did. Pleased to know that he was the source.

“I wanna put a baby in you, ‘Rincess,” he tells you, as he picks his other hand up off your thigh, and moves it downward to your slick folds.

Eren used his thumb to rub your swollen and puffy clit. “Come for me,” He pleaded with you once more, “Come for me, please, Princess.” Two short rubs did it in for you, and a string of pleased cries with his name fell from you as you came. His eyes never left yours as he filled you, and spilling himself deep inside of you.

The comedown was pleasing - the two of you remained like that, holding each other for as long as you possibly could. A thin layer of sweat coated your bodies, but neither of you cared. You were happy to just be in each other’s arms after making peaceful love.

“I want a family with you,” Eren confessed to you, and his confession took you by surprise. “I don’t want to leave again. Not without a family, not without the thing we’ve always dreamed of. You deserve that.”

His moonlit confession.

tagging: @levilaughlove69, @proseofpandemonium, @starstruckkittensweets, @rainteslerrrr, @alrightberries, @redhairedace, @jean-does-not-have-a-horseface, @jaegerbrat, @asterroidd, @imonmylastthreadofsanity, @hexbestfriend, @thethyri

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