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#price is a dilf
ivrxquack · 1 year
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Cod x reader fishing head cannons
(Also some frog molments)
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Konig
Super excited
when he gets a catch please take a picture and praise him he’ll be giddy all week
would probably cry if y’all release the fish
likes to watch the frog eggs…exist
Horangi
boujee
complains about water getting in his boots
is pretty proud of his catch tho
gets fed up when a frog jumps on him
Price
Is a pro
Catches the biggest fishes
“playfully”throws the fish in your face while it’s flapping everywhere
wants to cook some frog legs
Ghost
Also kind of a pro
ready to cook the fish as soon as he pulls it up
gets a little quirky when you praise him
catches a huge screaming bull frog
Soap
No
throws the fish on you when he brings it out the water
will fling the frog across the forest if you give it to him
Will eventually chill once you two exit the boat and go home
Krueger
*insert Kevin gates roar*the wild side comes out
swims in the lake grabbing fish with his mouth
Chases around frogs
Eats the worms and frog eggs (he lacks social skills cause he’s been in my basement for so long)
Gaz
he’s all over the place like please sit down and stop rocking the boat
shakes in happiness when he pulls up a fish
Picks up frog eggs and just pokes them gently
Gets a little creeped out by the frogs but it’s all good
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Vincent Price guest stars on The Muppet Show (1977)
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kucyash · 5 months
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My piece of collab with two other people on twitter !!
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neimlise · 2 years
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Captain Price and his two gremlins of a child teammates.
Gaz: What time is it?
(Y/n): I don’t know; pass me that saxophone and we’ll find out
(Y/n): *Plays sax loudly and extremely out of tune*
Price: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE SAXOPHONE AT TWO IN THE MORNING
(Y/n), to Gaz: It’s two in the morning
Price: Please bring home PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste
(Y/n): We got spring water
Price: NO.
Gaz: with EXTRA minerals
(Y/n): it's like licking a stalagmite
Price: DON'T COME HOME.
Gaz: Mmmmm cave water
Gaz: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?
(Y/n): The car takes a screenshot.
Price: For the last time, get the fuck out.
Store Worker: Would Mr. Price please come to the front desk?
Price, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?
*Store Worker points to (Y/n) and Gaz*
Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?
(Y/n) and Gaz, simultaneously: We got lost :(
Price: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-
(Y/n): Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.
Price: (Y/n) no.
Gaz: Mistlefoe.
Price: Please stop encouraging them.
Gaz: Hey Captain,
Price: Yes?
Gaz: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?
Price:
Price, stressing out: Where’s (Y/n)?
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lokidbadguy · 7 months
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STALKER CODED!
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bluegiragi · 1 year
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mission start!
gain early access to all my content on patreon!
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keresnotceres · 11 months
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TF 141: Realizing They Love You HCs
[sfw] cw: none :)
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Ghost was unable to tell that he was absolutely enamored with you until Soap pointed it out to him. As soon as his period of denial is over, (in which he basically ignored you, no matter the circumstances), he finally begins to pay attention to you again. Almost too much attention, however.
He watches your every move. In training he points out every flaw you make; whether it be in your stance or your pace. He thinks he’s being helpful — you think he’s being an ass. Soap has to restrain himself from ‘accidentally’ letting it slip that you
You’re on his mind at least half the time, always praising you to himself. How well you did in training, how much you improved, how nice your hair looked in a certain style.
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Gaz figured it out after you made some sort of joke along the lines of ‘I guess you’re just in love with me’ á la Mean Girls. He scoffed at it at first, bordering in a laugh, but the smirk on his face almost fell immediately because god dammit you were right.
He genuinely tries to make more time for you despite the military schedule you guys are kept on. He invites you to go out drinking with him some night, others he’s too nervous to even look you in the eyes.
He keeps his feelings close to his chest, he thinks it would be the death of him if the others found out. He’s not being very secretive when all he does half the time is stare at you adoringly.
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Soap knew from the getgo. He’s had his fair share of girls in the past; he knows how this works. But damn him if his heart doesn’t ache twice as hard when you mention past relationships or current dates.
Accidentally told Ghost that he’s head over heels for you and Ghost has not let him rest. Absolutely relentless. Sparring? You and Soap get paired together. Sitting on the helo during a mission? You and Soap are squished next to each other. It’s hard to tell if Soap is also doing it.
Nearly every thought running through his mind is about you. Your eyes are so pretty, your hair is so cool, you look so good in the military uniform, you look so good in your civvy clothes. If anyone is reading his mind they’re probably only going to find you and incoherent Scottish phrases.
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Price was able to realize he was in love with you, but was more guilty than the others. You’re younger than him by a good chunk, somewhere in Soap and Gaz’s age range, and he’s your boss. Power imbalance out the wazoo.
Despite the guilt, he treats you with almost more respect than he does Ghost. Always trying to give you praise even where you don’t really deserve it. Trying to reinforce that, even though you’re not at the same level as the rest of the 141 is, you’re still pretty damn good.
He likes talking to you outside of work-related topics and remembers nearly everything you tell him. Your favorite flower? He’s memorized that shit. You wanted to go to University? What did you want to major in? What’s the one band you were talking to Gaz about after the debriefing? He’s very interested.
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auspicioustidings · 7 months
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Someone pls either write or direct me to a 'you wake up in Vegas having married stranger John Price who was totally sober and just agreed with your drunken proposal and now he's fully treating you like his wife and is talking about raising your children in England because it's safer there and referring to you as the missus whenever possible' thank you in advance
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natelia-aldelliz · 1 year
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Soap & Gaz : =(
Ghost : What's going on with you two?
Gaz : Old people flirting =( it's like my divorced dad flirting with his new girlfriend in front of me all over again
Ghost : What happened?
Gaz : Well he and my mom got a divorce, which was for the best honestly, and then he got himself a girlfriend that was closer in age to me than him and -
Ghost : I don't give a shit about your parents Garrick, what happened right now.
Gaz : Oh =(
Soap : Nikolai was teaching us insults in russian, and Price told him he had a dirty mouth and Nik just smiled at him, y'know, like a smirk, and Price smiled back, ewwww
Ghost : Wait, you think Price flirting with his... friend is gross because they're old? You do know I'm not that much younger than Price, right?
Soap : Yeah, but you're not flirting with anyone, so it's okay =)
Ghost :
Gaz :
Soap : =) ?
Gaz : I can't believe you just said that. With your full chest too...
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bizarrelittlemew · 4 months
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wishing everyone a very "your greying hair is sexy"
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simonrillleyyysss · 6 months
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cod nsfw links
mainly 141, könig included
warnings; LITERAL PORN SONT CLICK IF U SONT WANNA SEE, just nasty shit
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ghost
‘one’
‘two’
‘three’
‘four’
‘five’
‘six’
‘seven’
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price
‘one’
‘two’
‘three’
‘four’
‘five’
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soap
‘one’
‘two’
‘three’
‘four’
‘five’
‘six’
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gaz
‘one’
‘two’
‘three’
‘four’
‘five’
könig
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‘one’
‘two’
‘three’(plushie rdr)
‘four’ (plushie rdr)
not rlly könig, but goes along with plush rdr!
‘Six’
‘seven’
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Vincent Price being interviewed on the set of The Masque of the Red Death (1964)
I love this man.
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skylarsblue · 1 year
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✦Incorrect C.o.D Quotes, Again✦
Guess who's back...back again-
Ghost @ DILF!Y/N: Stop making me have gay thoughts, General. I look at men and I feel weird. I feel strange. It makes me wanna do things. I don’t like that.
(This also works with Soap, of course)
-- (Based on that one Avatar moment that set the fucking bar for me. Also, bonus random name of an NPC) Ghost: Oliver is the best sniper. DILF!Y/N, real softly over Ghost’s shoulder: …well I don’t want Oliver. Ghost, a man with daddy issues: Ghost, internally: HOLD IT THE FUCK TOGETHER SOLDIER, WE’LL GET THROUGH THIS
-- Y/N: I was gonna say that if in ten years time, the two of us aren’t married, let’s agree… Gaz: Yeah? Y/N: To hunt each other for sport. Gaz: T-To hunt each other for sport?- Y/N: Yeah! D-did you just agree?! Gaz: I thought you were gonna say like, y’a know, let’s get married! Let’s- Y/N: Oh! Oh. Gaz: I’ll be your Gilligan! Y/N: I didn’t mean- the signals-
-- Gaz: Sorry! I thought I saw a wasp. Y/N: Do you love me too? Gaz, breaking his neck: Excuse me?
-- (NSFW warning) Y/N: Like- no I know it’s bad but bro I- he makes me such a whore. Soap: Okay like, on a scale of one to ten- Y/N: I’d let him cum on my glasses Soap: ON YOUR GLASSES?! Oh it’s serious. Y/N: I KNOW
-- 141: *looking at knocked out Graves* Y/N: I’m gonna check his pockets. Alejandro: For weapons? Y/N: No, to see where he keeps the fucking audacity. Soap: *wheeze* No no, bad timing, don’t be funny this is serious.
-- Y/N: You wanna go toe-to-toe with me, pretty boy? Alejandro: Go for it.~ I’ll give you the first shot. Y/N: Better make it count, casanova. Alejandro: I never half-ass anything, mi girasol. Ghost: Oi, keep your pants on and focus, would ya?
-- Soap: Missed me missed me now you gotta kiiii…. Simon: Now I gotta what? Soap: Nothin’ forget it- Simon: No no, now I gotta what?
-- Y/N, surrounded by attractive men: Am I…a whore? Y/N: *looks at them* Y/N: I don’t really give a fuck, HEY TEAM-
-- Gaz: Why are you just…laying on the couch? Usually you’re up and doing something. Y/N: Can’t move. Soap: Why?? Y/N: *sits up on their elbows and allows their neck to be seen* Gaz: *gasp* Nooooo… Y/N: Mhm. Soap: Nuh uh. Y/N: König carried me here. >:) Gaz: YOU WHORED! Y/N: I DID!!
-- Someone: Please PLEASE don’t tell anyone. Y/N: I won’t! I won’t, promise. Someone: *sigh* Thank you. … Price: *doing paperwork* Y/N, busting in: CAPTAIN!! Price: BLOODY FU-What in the world?! Y/N: *shuts his door and smoothly sits on his desk* Captain you will not believe what I have heard.
-- Soap: I’m gonna stop listening to drama. I’m gonna focus on my training, be a better person- Gaz: Right, right. Y/N, popping in: Guess who got caught sucking dick in the bathroom. Soap & Gaz: WHO?! Soap: *falls out of chair*
-- Price: Be nice. Y/N: I’m always nice! Price: Really nice, not bitchy nice. Y/N: …you tied my hands but fine.
-- (With a random backstory I have in my brain for König) Y/N: How do you uh, deal with all this trauma? König: I call my mutter. Y/N: That’s beautiful, K- König: Call my mutter a bitch.
-- Gaz: GIRLFRIEND STOP, GET BACK IN THE CAR Soap with zero self preservation instincts: *sprinting with a pipe bomb* YOU GET BACK HERE!
-- Y/N: This entire team is full of babygirls. Gaz: Oh not that fucking meme- Soap: Full of huh? Ghost: Call me that and I will snap your spine. Y/N: Bring it! An honor sir! Price: Jesus Christ-
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kucyash · 5 months
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Art trade with @kefyimao !!
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ghouljams · 7 months
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as someone who never wants to have kids, i’ve been having baby fever like crazy lately and it’s ruining my life. can you pls write more about cowboy!ghost and goose and their little one?
I don't want kids either anon! But I love writing baby fics, and I absolutely adore writing Ghost as a dad, so you can have as much baby fic with Frog as you want. Here's Frog a little older, when baby 2 is on the way.
"She's fine, Simon, I did way worse stuff than this at her age." You sigh, watching Simon fix the strap under your two year old's chin. She's sat on the shortest, fattest, slowest mini horse on the farm, and looking as happy as a clam to have so much of her daddy's attention.
"I'm not takin' her to the ER again," he grumbles, crouched next to your daughter.
"She tripped and knocked out a baby tooth, she's fine," you press. Even though you can remember the blind panic in Simon's eyes when she'd ran over to him sobbing, blood dripping out of her mouth. You've never seen that man look closer to death's door than he did sitting in the doctor's office holding her on his lap.
He grabs the reigns on the horse's bridle and stands, leading it forward a few steps. Frog giggles and bounces in the saddle, sun shining through her gap toothed smile. She's got little elbow and knee pads, and is holding on tightly to the saddle horn. Simon leads the horse through the grass, his eyes trained on his daughter the whole time. As soon as she gets closer Frog is waving at you, bright and excited as ever.
You catch her hand and put it back on the saddle, leaning over as best you can. "Keep your eyes forward Froggy, you wanna know where you're goin' right?" You tell her, seeing her nod seriously. It makes your heart warm. You look at Simon as he glances over his shoulder to be sure he isn't going to run into anything. "Where are we goin' daddy?" You ask him with a smile.
"Yeah, where aw we going dad-dy," Frog mimics, your smile grows a little more watching Simon's eyes soften.
"Goin' to drop you with nana so momma and daddy can figure out if you're having a brother or sister," he tells her.
"I wanna sister," she responds, looking at him like he could make the whole world bow to her wishes. He would if he could.
"Here's hoping," Simon mumbles, catching your eye. You laugh, and pat your daughter's head. Sure, here's hoping.
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captainfern · 9 months
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no context other than i love dilfs and i also love price <3
here are my favourite photos of barry sloane and original fern comments about them—
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starting off strong^
hehehe legs
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^these two OH MY GOD
deep breaths
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^good lord
so handsome ugh
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^OH MY GOD?!?!!?
LOOK AT HIM 😩
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^MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE
oh my god oh my god
the tattoos?? the beard?? the shoulders??
AHHHH
ok
anyway lol
thank you for coming to me TedTalk <3
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