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chemically-imbalanced-emo · 2 years

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Polaris - Soulmate September Day Three

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Fandom: Sanders Sides (Web Series)

Relationships: Queerplatonic Analogical, Romantic Dukexiety, Romantic Loceit

Word Count: 1143

Also Available On AO3 !!!

"Seriously, Virgil. I do not understand her odd obsession with hiding my things."

Virgil hummed in acknowledgment, tossing the watch that Polaris had dropped in his lap back to Logan. "I don't know either, dude. She's just playing."

"Well her 'playing' is going to make me late for class."

"Don't be dramatic, L. It's Friday, your class doesn't start for an hour, and you've never missed a class in your life. Even if you were late, one time won't ruin everything."

Frustration aside, Logan smiled as Virgil held his own bracelet above Polaris' head, lifting it slightly higher every time she jumped to grab it.

These moments were nice. These small, domestic moments that proved they were indeed soulmates, amatonormativity be damned.

As he watched Virgil play with the fox, his eyes landed on the crystal hanging from his neck.

"You're wearing rose quartz," Logan noted, teasingly, smiling as Virgil's blush shone through his foundation. "You have a date tonight, don't you?"

"Oh shut it…"

"Nonsense, I'm just curious. Remus isn't it?" He thought back to the week prior, when Virgil had come home at night multiple times only to immediately collapse onto the couch, mumbling about something that Remus had said to him that day.

Virgil rolled his eyes, putting his bracelet back on and pulling Polaris into his lap. "…Yeah."

"I imagine you're just as nervous as ever."

"Actually, I don't think I am," Virgil said, laughing lightly when Logan looked at him doubtfully.

"Oh? Not that I'm unhappy for you, but that is unusual."

"Yeah well," He shrugged. "Remus isn't a serious person, I don't need to be nervous around him. It's like with you, ya know?"

Logan scoffed. "I absolutely do not know. I am a serious person. All the time. It's a very large part of my personality."

"Oh right, strictly serious Logan. Who was definitely not staring at Janus' tits in the library yesterday."

"I don’t-" He sputtered. "That is extremely unprofessional!"

"So you're saying you weren't staring?" Virgil raised an eyebrow, smirking when he didn't receive an answer. "That’s what I thought. You really just gotta ask him already, dude."

"You are mean, you know that?"

"But you love me~"

Logan didn't answer that either, simply rolling his eyes (and definitely not blushing) and walking into the kitchen. He pulled a glass down from the cabinet, smiling exasperatedly as he heard scratching on the lower cabinets to his left.

He looked down to see Polaris sitting there, her head tilted to the left.

"What?" Logan asked lightly, crouching down to her level. "Care to steal something else from me?"

"She wants a pupcake," Virgil called from the living room. "Patton dropped some stuff off last night, I think they're on top of the fridge."

"Like 2AM, I think. Could you grab me a soda while you're in there?"

"Patton was here last night?" Logan pulled a box down from the fridge, verifying the label before pulling one of the small cakes out, tossing it to the fox that was now jumping at his legs. "I didn't see them, were they here particularly late?"

Logan frowned, grabbing the drink anyway. He threw it to Virgil as he sat on the couch next to him. "You really should get more sleep, you know."

"And you should really get some bitches, yet here you are, pining over a philosophy major. Speaking of which actually I need a favour."

"I-" Logan's jaw dropped, his hand pausing where he had been adjusting his glasses. "Why on earth would I help you after that comment?"

''Because you love me, we just talked about this. Now wait here!" Rushing, Virgil stood quickly, running down the hall where Logan heard him go into his room.

Still in shock, Logan looked over at Polaris, who seemed to be laughing. Hiding her face behind her paws as she ducked her head.

"You are never on my side, you know that?" Logan scoffed, rolling his eyes when Polaris jumped up onto the couch and softly hit her head on his arm.

The two sat there for a moment, before a large crash sounded from the hallway. Almost immediately Virgil stumbled back into the living room, obviously struggling to see around the pile of fabric in his arms. To Logan's surprise, he managed to make it around the chair nearest to the hall, dropping the fabric on the coffee table in front of the couch.

"Virgil I don't-"

"I know you don't do fashion or whatever but one of us," He pointed to himself exaggeratedly. "Is colourblind, and I have a date so please just tell me which of these shirts goes with the skirt. Be objective or whatever, I don't care."

Logan's eyes flickered down to Virgil's hands, which were now shaking. "I thought you weren't nervous." He said softly.

"I'm not!" Virgil stressed, sighing when Logan looked unconvinced. "Lo I just... I really like him, okay ? And maybe I'll look really stupid and he'll be all 'God why would I wanna be seen with this asshole' and then I'll die or something so please just help me?"

Holding his hands up, Logan stood and walked over to the table. "Alright, I'll help." He shuffled through the pile, looking for a specific top, before pulling out a deep purple halter top. He held it out to the other, speaking quietly as to not overwhelm Virgil any further.

"This one will make your hair look brighter. Wear some extravagant eyeliner with it. You'll look fine, dear."

Virgil ignored the shirt, choosing instead to throw his arms around Logan's shoulders, hiding his face in his chest. "Thanks Logan."

Surprised, Logan slowly hugged him back. "Of course, Vee."

The two pulled back after a moment, and Virgil looked at the clock on the bookshelf across the room. "Oh shit, you gotta go. Here, I'll get your book."

He walked over to the shelf, slowly scanning through the books.

"You know..." Virgil said, "I heard Remus mention super subtly that Janus is gonna be in the library alone tonight."

"And by subtly you mean-"

"You do not want to know what I mean."

Logan hummed. "Understood. Well perhaps I could stop by after class."

"Promise you won't chicken out?"

"I promise I'll do my best."

That seemed to appease Virgil, who smiled and handed Logan his book off the shelf. "Have fun at class, nerd."

Rolling his eyes, Logan moved his hand as to take the book, grabbing Virgil's hand at the last second. "Thank you, dear."

He smirked proudly at Virgil's immediate blush, watching him stutter. At their feet, Polaris looked between the two of them happily.

"Love you... or whatever."

"I love you 'or whatever' too, Virgil."

Virgil breathed deeply, dropping his head down on Logan's shoulder before mumbling.

"You're still a huge coward, though."

"Oh, says you."

#soultember #soulmate september #analogical #loceit #dukexiety #queerplatonic analogical #virgil sanders #logan sanders #ts sanders sides #deceit sanders #patton sanders #thomas sanders #sanders sides #remus sanders

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whimsywillowwrites · 2 years

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Only Fools Rush In

Summary: Janus crushes on Logan from afar. He finally gathers the courage to ask him out on a date with some encouragement from his best friend, Remus. For @loceitweek2022! *:･ﾟ✧

Characters: Romantic Loceit and Remus as your friendly neighborhood hype man

Word Count: 2,934

Genre: College AU, Meet Cute, Library, Romance, Dating, Demisexual Character, Janus pining hardcore

Rated T for language and sensuality

Janus Moretti was pining.

It all started at the beginning of the semester. Janus normally didn't normally leave his apartment to do homework, but Remus had invited a few people from his rock band over, and it was hard to concentrate.

The student library was nice. It had three floors and there was a coffee shop inside. Optimal place for peace and caffeine.

Janus settled at a table and cracked open his laptop. Then, he saw him—a boy with fawn-colored hair and glasses, working inventory from a metal cart. He ran long lines down the spines of each book he came across with great care, as if understood how important and precious each one was before returning them to their rightful place on the shelves. One day, Janus caught a glance at his nametag—Logan.

And, well, that was it. Every single time Logan walked by, his heart squished in his chest. There was something about him that made Janus want to do incredibly sappy things, like press his fingertips between his eyebrows until the furrow melted away or buy him coffee.

Ugh. Feelings.

Disgusting.

Janus' eyes drifted across the room. Logan usually wore button downs, always tucked into a pair of tight jeans and paired with a necktie, but today he was wearing a sweater. It was cobalt and brought out just how bright blue his eyes were.

"Damn it," Janus muttered. "He's so hot."

"He looks like he has a stick up his ass if you ask me."

Janus thwacked Remus on the arm with The Art of War. "Don't bad mouth my crush!"

A slow smile stretched across Remus' face. He was sitting across from him and working on a neon green lollipop, shiny and round like a marble between his teeth. Several piercings dotted his ears, but he wore a dangly silver one shaped like a morning star that glittered whenever he moved.

"I'm just saying," Remus said, wagging the lollipop at him. "He looks uptight as fuck. Who the hell can stand to sit up straight all day like that? I've never seen him slouch once."

"So what? He has impeccable posture."

"Oh, so posture is hot, now?"

"Yes."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You have no clue what you're talking about."

"I have taste is what I have."

"Then do something about it. Go talk to him."

"It's not that easy."

"Yeah, it is. You just go up to him and open your mouth and say stuff."

Easy for Remus to say. He always spoke his mind without caring what other people thought. Sometimes, it was more of a case of brain to mouth filter, but other times, Janus really wished he had his confidence and his ability to bounce back so quickly when things didn't go according to plan.

"I don't even know if he's gay," Janus hedged.

"You'd find out if you asked him out."

"Oh, sure." Janus flicked his wrist. "Let's just gamble all of my dignity and pride. Toss it at the wind!"

"He's got an Apple watch," Remus pointed out.

"That means nothing."

"The wristband is a rainbow."

"That still means nothing."

"Listen, if you ask him out, I'll back you up. If it goes wrong, I'll create a diversion and pull the fire alarm or something. And if he's an asshole, I'll throw a book at his head."

"No," Janus said.

"A real big one. Full of manners and etiquette or some shit."

"Remus, you are not going to throw a book at him."

"Fine. I'll pull the stick out of his ass and beat him with it."

Janus gave a heavy eye roll.

It wasn't as if Janus was shy. He wasn't. He knew how to charm his teachers into accepting a late assignment, how to make someone blush and how to deliver a powerful speech that had everyone holding their breaths and leaning forward in their seats. He was good with people. Sociable. Smooth.

But this ... this was different. This was a like a grade school crush. Janus hadn't had one of those since, well, grade school. Sure, he dated before, but he only went out with men he met online or in class. It was easy to flirt when the person was clearly into him, but Logan was a complete stranger. Janus had no idea how to approach him.

"So," Remus said. "You gonna do it or not?"

"No. I'm too busy."

"Yeah, being a little chicken shit."

Janus kicked him in the shin without any malice. Remus cackled out a loud laugh.

"Excuse me."

Janus froze. Slowly, he turned his head to see Logan standing nearby with the book cart, his beautiful pink bow of a mouth twisted into a frown.

"Can you two please keep it down? We are in a library."

Janus' palms started to sweat. How long had he been standing there? How much had he heard? Had he heard anything at all? Panic flared inside his chest, his tongue moving before his brain could fully process the situation and blurted out: "Yes, sir."

Remus lost it. He fell against the table and started shaking with laughter.

Janus closed his eyes. Fucking hell.

The innuendo was clearly lost on Logan because he looked sincerely confused. "You don't have to call me sir. I cannot be that much older than you."

"I, uh ...Yes. Apologies."

Logan shrugged. He sent Janus one last puzzled look before wheeling the cart away.

As soon as he was gone, Janus dropped his burning face into his hands and groaned. He wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor and die.

"Well," Remus said, still snickering. "That went well."

Janus swatted him with the book again.

***

A week later, Janus and Remus stood outside of the library and underneath an awning to get out of a storm. The rain was coming down hard, bouncing against the pavement like silver coins and drumming over their heads.

"If I had known it was going to rain today, I would have brought an umbrella," Janus complained. He was soaked and wanted nothing more than to slip into something warm and comfortable, but their apartment was quite a walk from here.

"I like it," Remus said. He reached out his hand to catch some of the raindrops like a little kid. He was soaked too, his black leather jacket slick with water and his violet eyeshadow smeared.

"Let's just go inside. We can get coffee and wait for it to let up."

"Good idea," Remus said. "Maybe your Pocket Protector boyfriend is there."

God, he hoped not. Janus would like to look at least halfway decent around his crush. They stepped inside of the library and a rush of warmth instantly seeped in Janus’ skin. He took off his beanie and ran a hand through his damp hair.

And of course, there he was—Logan, sitting at the front desk and reading a book. Everyone else on campus must have gotten the memo about the rain because there weren't too many students here today. His back was straight as a sword, brows furrowed in concentration and beautiful as always.

Remus beamed. "Well, well. Look who's here!"

Janus internally groaned. He hiked up the collar of his jacket and passed Logan as quickly as possible to get to the stairwell. Remus' combat boots echoed as he followed him down to the café. There was no line. The barista punched in their orders and brought them their coffee fairly quickly.

Hot liquid slid down Janus' throat and warmed his insides. He was still soaked. Water dripped off of his clothes and formed a puddle on the linoleum floor.

"Sooo?" Remus prompted. "What are you waiting for? He's clearly not busy."

"He's reading. That means he doesn't want to be disturbed."

"He's reading because he's probably bored out of his mind at work, you dumb ass. Maybe it'd make his day to have a cute boy hit on him. Ever think about that? Huh? Did ya?"

"Now you sound like your brother."

"Yeah? Well, you sound like a wuss. Wuss, wuss, wuss. Mr. Wussyman."

Janus rolled his eyes. "Oh, very mature of you."

"How about this? If you talk to him, I'll give you five dollars."

"Now you're bribing me to talk to my crush?" Janus tossed his head back. "Ha! Please. That'll never work." He took a long sip of his coffee. Swallowed it slowly. Then, "Make it ten."

"Fine. Anything to get you to move your ass already. I'm sick of your pining."

They shuffled back up the stairs. Janus stalled by following Remus to the horror section and browsing for a book to check out. Finally, he settled on The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, and made his way to the front desk.

Janus cleared his throat. "Hello."

Logan startled. His eyes immediately glanced over the scar on the left side of Janus' face. It was silver now, a jagged line that slashed from his eyebrow down to his jaw. At a distance, it was hard to make out, but it was much clearer if you were standing next to him. The eye on that side was a bright gold, compared to the right, which was a solid walnut brown. They had never been this close to each other before, let alone talked, aside from the please be quiet incident. This was the first time Logan was really seeing him.

Logan set his book faced down on the desk—The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes. "Apologies. How can I help you?"

Janus pushed his book at him. While Logan got to work on checking Janus out, Janus leaned over the desk, trying to appear casual. "So ..." he began.

Logan gave him a sideways glance. "You're dripping on Arthur Canon Doyle."

Janus jolted back. "Sorry." Another puddle was forming at his feet. He scuffed at it with his shoe. "Do you come here often?"

Logan frowned. "I work here."

"I know. It was a joke."

"Oh."

Awkward silence.

"Welp!" Janus snatched his book and forced a cheery grin. "Bye!"

He ran out the library with a bruised ego, internally kicking himself for trying such a cheesy pick up line. Remus paid him only twenty-five cents for such a poor attempt and boilsted up his confidence for when they returned a few days later.

It was another rainy April afternoon. Once again, Janus hadn't checked the weather before leaving his apartment and entered the library looking like he'd just walked off of an intense ride at Splash Mountain.

Janus hastily wiped water off his face. "Maybe he isn't here today."

"Check again," Remus said. He hooked his fingers under Janus' chin and forced him to turn his head. "Calculator Watch at twelve o'clock."

Logan was working inventory again. Outside, the rain hacked against the windowpanes and slid down the glass. Thunder roared, followed by an explosion of lighting, so intense, Janus could feel it in his bones. The lightning illuminated Logan's profile between the aisles, his hip pressed against the side of the book cart and reading the back of a novel, too absorbed in his own world to even acknowledge the storm.

Janus took in the pieces of him—his soft brown hair brushing over his eyebrows, his broad shoulders and long legs, and it felt as if he had been zapped. "Fuck."

"Not yet," Remus said. He gave him an encouraging little push in Logan's direction. "Go talk to him. I'll be hanging around. Moral support."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Gonna grab the biggest, fattest dictionary here. Best to be prepared, in case it goes awry."

Janus was too nervous to even make a comment on that. It took another push from Remus to get his legs moving in Logan's direction. He sucked in a deep breath, pushing down the butterflies in his stomach and plastered on his most charming, practiced smile.

"Hello," he said.

"Hi." Logan turned his head. "You are dripping on the books again."

Janus immediately stepped away from the cart. "Sorry."

Logan didn't respond. The button down he was wearing was well fitted and tucked into a pair of very tight, dark jeans that accentuated his waist and it was just—not fair. Not at fair all. He lifted on his toes to reach a higher shelf, his sleeve shifting down to reveal a stretch of pale skin.

Janus was surprised. "You have a tattoo?"

Logan whirled around and slapped his hand over his forearm. "Yes."

"Why are you hiding it?"

"I'm at work. It's inappropriate."

Janus snorted. "A tattoo doesn't make you less professional, in my opinion. I pointed it out because I thought it was cool, not to get you in trouble. What is it of?"

Logan hesitated.

Janus smiled in an attempt to be reassuring. "It wasn't a trick question."

The pink faded from Logan's cheeks. He slowly removed his hand to reveal a simple chemical formula in black ink. "It's acetylcholine," he explained. "It's a neurotransmitter that plays an essential role in attention, learning, and memory."

"That's interesting," Janus said, because it was. "Do you like science?"

"Yes. I am majoring in Neuroscience."

Holy shit. "That sounds really hard."

Logan shrugged. "Not really. I enjoy the classes."

Okay, okay, so he didn't just look smart, but he was smart. Double whammy in Janus' book.

"Hi, sweetie!" A blonde boy with curly hair stepped next to Logan. He wore a pair of light blue overalls and rounded glasses. A folded umbrella with frogs on it dripped at his side. "You forgot your lunch."

"Ah. Thank you, Patton."

The blonde, or Patton, apparently, smiled and handed him a lunch box. "I see you're busy with someone, so I'll get out of your hair. I'll see you later?"

"Yes," Logan said.

Patton beamed. He gave Janus a polite nod and disappeared.

Heavy disappointment sank in Janus' gut. Of course Logan had a boyfriend. Of course.

But well ... he supposed he couldn't know that ... for certain. At the same time, he wasn't quite sure how to ask. He supposed the only way was to be upfront but god, that was so awkward. Then again, this whole thing was already awkward enough. If he didn't say something then Remus was going to beat his ass, and Janus would always wonder what if. Besides, he had already committed to this stupid thing. If Janus further embarrassed himself then it wouldn't be the end of the world. He would just die in a hole somewhere, but he would be fine. All fine.

Janus crossed his arms and leaned against the bookshelf. "So was that your ..." He hesitated. "Boy ... friend?"

Logan gave him a strange look. "No. What gave you that impression?"

"He called you sweetie."

"He calls everyone sweetie."

"Ah," Janus said, trying to ignore the swell of hope blooming in his chest. "Nice. Very, uh. Good."

"I guess."

"Soooo, do you have one?"

"Have what?"

"A boyfriend."

"Oh. No."

Remus popped out around a bookshelf behind Logan and flashed a wide, goofy grin. He gave a thumbs up.

Janus shot him a very pointed look. Logan's brows twitched inward. He began to turn around to see whatever it was Janus was looking at, and Janus panicked, his mouth moving before his brain could kick in, blurting out, "Are you gay?"

Logan fwipped his head up. A faint blush seared his cheeks. "I don't see how that is any of your business."

God. This was going horribly.

"Apologies. You're right, it's not my business, I meant no offense. It's just—I am. Gay, I mean. Very gay. I was wondering if you were, too. You don't have to answer, I ... I'm sorry."

A long pause. Logan crossed his arms. "Fine. I'm gay."

This was going wonderfully! Remus popped out again and flashed another thumbs up. Instantly, Janus' confidence was back up.

"Excellent! Do you want to go to Lou Malnati's sometime?"

Logan frowned. "Are you making fun of me?"

"I—what? No! No, I'm asking you out."

Logan's frown deepened. "Why? You don't even know me."

Because you're cute and smart and have impeccable posture, but instead he said, "I know. That's the point. I want to get to know you."

"Because you think I'm attractive?"

"Uh, yes? Yes, definitely."

Logan took a second before responding. He shelved one of the books with a loud clunk-ing noise before turning to face him. "I need to make some things clear first before I give you my answer."

"Okay."

"If you are asking me out for sex, it is not going to happen."

Janus choked. The unscarred side of his face burned pink. Still, Logan pressed on.

"I also will not want to kiss you on the first date. Maybe not even the second or the third or even the tenth, if our courtship gets that far. If I eventually do feel a sexual attraction towards you, I may choose then to engage in sexual activity, but there is also a chance that I will never wish to engage in it, despite an emotional component on my part."

It took Janus' brain a second to catch up to all of that. "Okay, are you saying you're ... ace? Is that right?"

"Demisexual."

The word rolled around in Janus' head. He knew what that was. He'd just never met anyone who identified that way before. "Okay. Okay, cool."

Logan lifted his eyebrows. "Cool?"

"Yeah," Janus said, shrugging. "I still want to take you out. I know you don't know anything about me but ..."

"I don't even know your name."

"It's Janus."

"Janus," Logan repeated. "All right. As long as you are 'cool' with it, I accept your offer."

***

A/N: I wasn't going to post anything because this is unfinished, but I figured I could share this as a WIP. ^_^ This takes place in the same universe as my Prinxiety fic, A Lesson In Love and Romance, which you can read on AO3. Rating and details are subject to change after I complete the entire fic. There is a playlist which you can find here in the meantime, if you would like.

Thanks for reading!

#loceitweek2022 #loceitweek2022day5 #Janus Sanders #logan sanders #remus sanders #tsfanfic #lociet #meetcute #romance #collegeau #whimsywillowwrites

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bonniebelleklyde · 3 years

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Swapped, Part One

Janus walks through the hallway in the direction of the kitchen, basking in the comfort and security that comes with wearing Roman’s face. Janus himself is not welcome in these common areas, and is particularly unwelcome in daylight hours. The term “dark side” is taken far too literally around here. But Janus happens to know that Roman is holed up in his room, writing like a madman while his inspiration is fresh. So Janus decides he isn’t harming anyone by borrowing the prince’s face for an afternoon.

He is about halfway down the hall when he nearly trips over a pair of legs stretched out in front of a figure slumped against the wall, his face turned toward the ceiling in obvious melancholy...Logan.

For all the countless lies that Janus has told over the years, he’s never actually seen a point to lying to himself. Lies to others can win him allies, achieve his goals. Lying to oneself only ever gets in the way, delays some inevitable conclusion or other.

So Janus has never lied to himself about Logan. He’s not sure he could if he wanted to. Images flash in his mind’s eye as they often do. The sharp grin the logical side wears when he’s sure he has won an argument— the triumphant glint in his dynamic eyes that robs the space around him of its air. The food that would mysteriously appear outside of Janus’s door— three times a day like clockwork— when he’d entered one of his sullen periods and refused to leave his room, and the deep shade of red Logan’s face had turned when he’d been caught. Logan at his most passionate, waxing poetic about the chemical compounds of soil, about the concept of speed, about Kantian theory, about anything and everything, as if rushing to get the words out before he exploded for keeping them locked in his own mind. Logan at rest, having fallen asleep in front of the fire, a book laid open on his lap. Midnight philosophical debates and midday chess games. Days that stretched into nights and again into mornings doing nothing but talking— sharing thoughts, ideas, observations, comfortable in one another’s company.

No, Janus has never lied to himself about Logan. Of course he had fallen in love with Logan. How on earth could he be expected to keep from loving a man like that?

Even now, with sadness etched into every inch of Logan’s features, Janus has the same thought he always does upon first seeing Logan—- beautiful, wonderful creature.

The thought is quickly followed by a sharp pang of concern and the desire to wipe away all that melancholy and replace it with mirth. Logan should always be smiling.

Without thinking, Janus slides down the length of the wall to sit beside Logan. He doesn’t speak, knows that Logan will if he wants to. Sure enough, he does.

“You were right, you know.” There is a hopelessness in Logan’s voice that threatens to crack Janus’s heart in two.

It is easy to talk to Logan. It has always been easy. And Janus’s reply is on the tip of his tongue— he wants to tease the other side, to say there are a great many things I’ve been right about; you’ll have to help me narrow it down. Just to make Logan smile, if only for a moment. To lift that awful shroud of sadness hanging over him. But then he remembers he is wearing Roman’s face.

Logan wants to speak to Roman about whatever it is that’s plaguing him. It’s something the two have obviously spoken about previously. Janus knows that Logan and Roman are quite close. That while Logan may be happy to speak to Janus about philosophy and science and even poetry, when it comes to things that matter, he would rather speak to Roman. That is as it should be.

But Roman has shown no intent to leave his room in the near future, and here Janus is. He decides to keep up the facade.

“About what?” he asks simply, hoping to gather enough information to help, or at least to find some way to pass it along to the real Roman later.

Logan sends him a sharp glare before returning his gaze to the ceiling. Apparently, the answer should have been obvious, likely would have been had Roman actually been here.

“About Janus.”

Every muscle in Janus’s body freezes. He stops breathing. No. No, this was a mistake. He is not meant to hear this, and he is quite sure that— whatever it is that Roman of all people was right about concerning Janus— he doesn’t want to hear it. But he’s in too deep. That has always been the risk of deception. He says nothing, waiting for Logan’s elaboration like a guilty prisoner awaiting his verdict.

“I love him.”

No. No no no no no. This isn’t possible. Logan doesn’t love him. He can’t. Janus...Janus is inherently unlovable, lucky to be tolerated, especially by someone as awe-inspiring as the despairing man sitting next to him now. And yet, there isn’t the faintest hint of a lie in Logan’s words. Not like this, Janus thinks desperately. It shouldn’t be a trick, an impersonation, a lie that leads Logan to reveal this to him. Janus has inadvertently robbed him of any choice in the matter. This is so wrong; he is so wrong.

“And he hates me.”

What? Janus is shocked out of his reverie by Logan’s words. How could Logan possibly believe that Janus hates him when Janus adores him so completely? He opens his mouth to speak but snaps it shut again. He is still wearing Roman’s face.

No. He will not continue to perpetuate the illusion. He is not going to intentionally manipulate Logan into saying anything more. Not about this. In the blink of an eye, Janus is himself again and Logan literally falls over from the shock of it.

“I’m sorry!” Janus exclaims frantically. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to— I didn’t know—“

But Logan has gotten to his feet and is no longer facing him. Logan is walking away, and this is all so wrong that Janus wants to cry.

“I don’t hate you,” he says desperately, but his voice catches in his throat and doesn’t carry. “I don’t hate you!” he tries again, a shout this time.

But Logan doesn’t turn around, doesn’t come back, doesn’t so much as acknowledge that Janus has said anything at all. Down the hall, a door slams, and Logan is gone.

“I love you,” Janus whispers.

But it is far too late for that.

#i know i know #so much angstier than my usual insufferable fluff #but remember that this is a two-parter #and I am incapable of writing an unhappy ending #part two coming soon!#loceit #ts logan #logan sanders #ts janus #janus sanders #ts roman mentioned #angst #pining #miscommunication

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bloodyjay-0666 · 2 years

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I’m talking about Welcome to Night Vale for anyone wondering

#it was a sander sides fanfic #it was about loceit #and the floating cat who was virgil #jan was cecil aka the radio host aka hopeless pining simp #and lo was the scientist carlos #aka the one with perfect jaw and perfect hair and perfect evrything if u ask cecil #he's such a simp i'm sorry #and in the first part too!#welcome to night vale

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coconut-cluster · 4 years

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what were janus's thoughts like while they were kissing?

mostly just internal triumph, because he’s been trying to get logan to kiss him for like a year and a half asfsdkjl

#also thinking logan smells like cinnamon and pine and being gay about it #sdjsfkl #ask #uni au #loceit #Anonymous

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impatentpending · 4 years

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okay flirtatious + platonic dukeceit is my new favorite head canon because I don't ship them, but I have that exact dynamic with one of my friends and I think it is the best thing ever. (also has the bonus comedic potential of janus w/ remus being super romantic and flirty and suave and over the top, and janus w/ the side of your choice is 100%: "maybe I liked your stupid face")

aah, I’m so glad! (especially since that’s totally just my dynamic with @worrynotso. when they joined a server I’m on, everyone thought we were dating)

And holy heck that is an incredible concept! My brain went loceit first, so let’s all just take a moment to imagine Logan being all “ah, seeing as his attentions are focused on Remus, and he is not to my knowledge polyamorous, there is no reason for me to wish he would pursue me.” while secretly pining.

Janus, meanwhile, is absolutely dying, because casual flirty banter with Remus? yeah whatever they’re chilling. Saying two words to Logan without getting tongue tied??? Impossible, illegal, abort mission about mission!!!

#asks #loceit #logan sanders #janus sanders #sanders sides #i have a hankering that only pining loceit can satisfy #to do

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ferretbitexo-fic-den · 4 years

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Density Kills 8/?

Thanks to @sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes for continuous support.

Pairings: Romantic Analogical One-sided Analoceit, Pining Anxceit, Pining Loceit

Warnings: Angst, thoughts of cheating (i swear they don't), hanahaki, pining

Notes: hope y'all like this as much as i hate it.

Synopsis: the lovers have a problem and it gets complicated.

Part 7, X, Part 9

Virgil was torn to say the least. He lay on his bed alone with his boyfriend pulling an all-nighter with Roman for the video. Being alone wasn’t an issue that night, because Virgil’s head was somewhere else.

He got out of bed in the middle of the night, hearing the ever slightly banter of the two night owls as he passed by Logan’s door. He wasn’t going in there. Virgil had somewhere else to be.

At the far end of the hallway, the yellow door was almost luminescent, seemingly pulling the emo. Standing in front of the doorway his hand trembled along to the pounding of his chest.

The knob made a slight click when opened as the door screeched a bit as Virgil tried to open it slowly, giving him a mini panic. He waited for a reaction, getting none whatsoever.

He cautiously crept in, feeling his head near combustion. He used took his jacket off and put it by the doorframe, making it a doorstop in case anything went wrong.

Virgil’s anxiety dropped like a nuke when he saw Janus still sleeping under the yellow weighted blanket.

Every part of Virgil screamed at him to go under the covers with Janus and wrap the sleeping snake in his arms. Fighting the urge to cuddle the half-serpent, the emo sat on the chair in front of the vanity, hugging his knees.

God, Virgil felt like a cheater, wanting to hold someone apart from the man he was in a relationship with. It was unfair to Logan, but he couldn’t help how he felt. It was disgusting.

He wasn’t supposed to be here, this was violating the other side’s personal space, and he was sleeping, to make matters worse.

The darkness of the room concealed much, but it could never conceal in iridescence of Janus' scales that Virgil longed to kiss one by one.

Damn he was going insane. He was taken and monogamous and what he was feeling was downright wrong. His throat was being a nuisance, frustrating him even more.

“I miss you…” Virgil whispered as he beat down by the doorway, grabbing his jacket and left the way he came in. He tried to muffle the sound of coughing while also catching the small tiny daffodil that tormented him the rest of the night.

Perhaps it was for the best he didn’t get a glimpse of his old hoodie wrapped around Janus for the closest thing he could get to a hug.

…

The day Janus came down for breakfast without being told to was Logan’s definition of miraculous. With him looking slightly better than yesterday, perhaps striking a conversation now would be more than okay.

Janus slumped on his seat, sporting a grey shirt and yellow sweatpants. His hat and gloves were nowhere in sight. Logan had an internal conflict, wrestling his urge to place a kiss on his forehead.

“Good morning, Janus.” Logan greeted, reaching for Janus' color-changing mug on the shelf.

“Morning…” Janus said nonchalantly, staring blankly at seemingly nothing. He seemed awake and conscious, but he was still quite blank. Maybe not as fully awake as Logan thought.

The coffee machine began whirring while Logan watched Janus, seemingly unable to notice when he starts staring.

Something about Janus lately wasn’t right, and Logan tried to find out what it was. But every time he tries to observe anomalies in the lying side’s behavior, he was distracted.

Possibly by the uncannily adorable dimple Janus had on his non-scaled side. Perhaps Janus’ stinking-out tongue habit when he's in deep thought. Maybe the way he hummed softly when he sighed.

Regardless, Logan was always so often distracted by Janus, even without trying.

His attention was nabbed by the coffee machine indicating that the coffee was done. He took the steaming mug and added two sugar in it and placed the mug in front of Janus.

The snake gave a surprised glance to Logan and brought the cup to his lips. Somehow Logan was always surprised with Janus’s ability to drink the beverage no matter how hot.

“Thanks…” Janus said before clearing his throat. Another sip of the coffee before Logan had finally muster the courage to speak.

“Janus are you okay?” The logical side asked.

Janus smiled forcedly before muffling out a cough. “I'm fine."

“Shouldn’t the others be awake now?” Janus asked eager to change the subject.

“Roman fell asleep ten minutes ago so I asked Patton to take care of him. Virgil was still asleep when I checked on him.” Logan answered normally, allowing the liar to change the subject.

Logan wanted, no, needed to speak to Janus, get some clarity. But he knew if he didn't restrain himself, there was no way he could leave Janus, and that wouldn't be fair to Virgil.

He turned to leave the kitchen. "I'll leave you be for now, Janus." His lungs seemed to swell, screaming at him to not leave.

Janus nodded slightly. Logan seemed to have missed Janus' grim expression when he left.

Out of sight from the kitchen, Logan failed to fight back the tiny daffodils that escaped his mouth. He crumpled them out of existence.

“I’m sorry, Virgil.” He whispered in front of the door before entering.

Slipping under the covers, wrapping his lover in his arms, guilt began creeping into his chest.

He loved Virgil, so why did he feel and act the way he did towards Janus?

...

TAGLIST❤

@shadowjag , @wigsnatchedhoteltrivago , @arsonenthusiast , @i-love-my-dark-strange-son @phantom-moonfire , @lostonehero , @awkward-child-of-satan , @deetheimposter , @ashtonbby2 , @lokiamorstuffs , @janus-the-sassy-snek-boi , @eeveeeclair246 @enragedbees , @franthehorsegir

For Density Kills: @knight-shives , @chronophobica , @croftersjam15 , @sandercats

Tell me if you wanna be added or removed!❤

#density kills #analogical #analoceit #one sided analoceit #hanahaki #angst #sanders side fic #sanders sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #janus sanders #loceit #anxceit #pining

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birdsongisland · 4 years

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(Ace lociet bfs anon) yesss Lexi's uni au is god tier hendjjskdkwnd

YES. ANOTHER FAN.

Like i havent gotten arount to making any art for it but i've been following her blog religiously and i've reread every drabble related to it several times i love it so muchhhhhhhhhhh

#'peters' 'oliveira'#im dead #fucking pining oblivious idiots #all ships w/ lo are god tier to me #but the execution of painfully aware but still flirting arch rivals ?#dark academia aesthetic ?????#im sold #also the meta text and means of engaging with the story that i want to dissect so bad #ask ent #loceit

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edupunkn00b · 2 years

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Revisions Masterpost

Written for @tsshipmonth2020's New Years, Old Tropes January creative event. - Complete

Logan Sanders has a secret passion he keeps hidden from his five housemates.

He loves to write fan fiction.

Okay, perhaps he has more than one secret passion, because he has a few more loves that who he needs to learn how to deal with. And fast.

But Hanahaki's Disease isn't real.

Is it?

🎶 Playlist for Revisions — Playlist for A Captain's Log 🎶

Revisions Chapter List

Hanahaki's Disease

Timeskip

Crossover

Fake Dating

Secret Royalty

They Were Roommates

Mutual Pining

Mind Control

Trapped in an Elevator

Only One Bed

Chapter list continues below

Chapter List (11 - 30)

11. Fourth Wall Break

12. First Kiss

13. Huddling for Warmth

14. When Sides Go Feral

15. Mistaken Identify

16. Arranged Marriage

17. Enemies to Lovers

18. Fight

19. Love Triangle

20. Role/Power Swap

21. Established Relationship

22. Cracked Ship

23. Amnesia

24. Kidnap

25. Time Loop

26. Truth or Dare

27. Airport Scene

28. Chat Fic

29. Rescue Mission

30. Forbidden Love

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jungle321jungle · 4 years

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Blood Letters

Writing letters which are not meant to be sent can be therapeutic, at least that is what people claim. Logan thinks it is to an extent, but he finds the subject matter of the letters to be of far more consequence.

Or, Logan dreams about murder.

Taglist: @hells-missing-a-goat @angels-and-dreams @ollyollyoxinfree @gattonero17 @chumo-cookie @dreaming-always @anxiety-ismy-name @mrbubbajones @janustheliar @hogwarts-my-love

Ao3 - Masterlist

Note: Lots of blood and death mention things of all sorts

~~~~

Blood Letters

Dear Janus,

I am writing this letter which is addressed to you in order to sort out my own thoughts. Patton recommended this method to me in order to “get out my feelings in a positive way”. He claims that writing a letter addressed to myself or no one at all with all my thoughts is nearly on par with saying them aloud. Roman agreed and then recommended burning the letters upon completion to get rid of any trace of my problems. However, Patton suggests I keep them. I am still not sure which I will do (I had also asked Remus who only suggested I set myself ablaze), so I will decide upon finishing. Oh, and before I go further, I do apologize for how disjointed this letter will be. I am told that the less structured and closer to a stream of consciousness I am, the better. This has yet to be proven.

Now, I have chosen to address this letter to your Janus rather than myself, given part of my issues seem to stem from you. I assure you, that I am not blaming you in any regard. I am entirely to blame for my own compulsions, and I accept that. But I hope that by addressing the concerns between us that lie solely in my mind I can expel them entirely. Quite frankly I do not expect much from this, intrusive thoughts are not such a simple concept after all- but I have not told my friends the ongoings of my mind. I do not wish to concern them, nor do I wish to seek professional help for multiple reasons. For one I do not have the time nor money, I spend much of time working to pay for my grandmother’s nursing home bills, also I-

It occurs to me that I have been prattling on about my reasons for writing the letter as opposed to writing how I feel about you, so I shall commence doing so.

Given this letter is not intended to be read I have no need to sugar coat my words.

I am in love with you Janus, and more than that- I want to see you die.

I am not partial to the method of your death. I have had dreams where you suffocate, drown, bleed out, and more- all of which were as spectacular as the last. In the first dream you and I had been walking down the street with our friends. The group hadn’t been talking about anything of true value to my knowledge, but I do recall the way it ended. You and I had fallen to the back of the group, walking in silence. And I did not see why it was that you lingered when we crossed the street- but I did turn to see you take flight once the car struck you. For a moment I was filled with nothing but fear. My heart was racing, and despite being a dream I was struggling to breathe. Upon waking I assumed my reaction was because I saw someone die. But after the second dream where I watched you bleed out and suffocate after your throat was slit, I understood that my heart racing wasn’t due to fear, it was something closer to intrigue. And from there my feelings have only grown more intense.

Whenever I see you Janus- or dream of you- I fall for you even more.

I am not sure what else I can say in this letter, so I suppose I shall end it here. I am still unsure what I will do with this short letter, but I suppose it is not that important.

Yours,

Logan

~~~~

Dear Janus,

I hadn’t intended to write you a letter again.

After I wrote (and kept) the first, I found the dreams and urges decreased greatly. And I was happy to feel a “normal” love for you, but now weeks later I found they have returned in full force and I am not entirely sure why they have. Perhaps it was on account of me spending more time with you. I greatly enjoyed our trip to the mall. I am not one to believe in fate, but I think it is a wonderful coincidence that we both happened to run into each other. And I think it speaks yards that you suggested we shop together. As we did, I found myself staring at your face so often when you weren’t looking. I think I stared so much that if I held any artistic talent I think I could sketch every ridge of your face and its scars with accuracy, and still not hold a candle to your general beauty.

I wish I had artistic talent, if I did I’d render the versions of you I see only in my mind.

Your eyes wide and terrified. Maybe with burst blood vessels. I can’t help but wonder what you’d look like with your scars open. So many times I have wanted to ask you how you got them- I want you to explain to me every detail. Well enough that I can picture it myself and savor every moment. But I know if I ask I would push you away. And that’s the one thing I can’t do. I won’t jeopardize my chance at seeing you. Because at this point I’m not sure how well I’ll fair without you.

Yours,

Logan

~~~~

Dear Janus,

The dreams are back.

This time you fell from a building. Your limbs bent at strange angles with a vacant yet shocked looked in your eyes. It was beautiful Janus. More so than your face alive.

I can’t explain the beauty I see that no one else ever can. But I wish I could.

Yours,

Logan.

~~~~

Janus,

It’s the middle of the night. 3:41 am according to the clock on my nightstand.

You were dead again. That’s nothing new. What was new however, is that this time I was the one who killed you.

I’m not even sure how- or why.

I’m still tired yet running on adrenaline, I can’t make sense of my own thoughts. All I know is that I saw you lying in a pool of your own blood, and I was holding the knife.

I need to get some air.

Logan

~~~~

Janus,

It’s only been a week. And I killed you again.

I used a baseball bat. I watched your body lurch with each strike.

I continued even after I knew you were dead, because each time I hit you it seemed the blood sprayed about you like a frame of red. With your beauty pictured in its center.

I wonder what it will be next time.

Logan

~~~~

Janus,

I’ve never told you that I’ve been to prison, have I?

It was years ago, not long after I came out, my father had kicked me out and my grandmother took me in. She had been waiting for me outside of my job, and when I exited the building I saw two men look at me before they ran off. They stole her purse. She was injured and she told me not to go after them, so I didn’t at the time. But I tracked them down. I only did eighteen months for two counts of assault. I probably would have done more had I not caught them they were attacking some other old woman. It was only eighteen months, plus time in jail awaiting sentencing, but it’s not something I wish to repeat. I don't want to lose my freedom.

Just as I don’t want to lose you.

So why do I dream of your death- of your murder?

Why is it that killing you is both what I want and what I fear most?

Logan

~~~~

Janus,

You gave me a hug today when the group all said goodbye.

And when walking back to my car, Virgil teased me for liking you. I wasn’t aware that anyone knew that I cared for you. He told me to ask you out, but I’m not sure I deserve that much. But when I told him so he didn’t understand. I made no effort to explain because I can’t expect him to.

I can’t expect anyone to understand the fact that when you hugged me, I had to ensure my hands went around your torso and not your neck.

Logan

~~~~

Janus,

In my dreams your blood has texture.

It is thicker than water, but I can’t quite identify what it’s viscosity reminds me of. But there are also small bits to it. Bits is the wrong phrasing. I am not sure what the proper word is, perhaps chunks? No that seems wrong as well. Whatever the word, I believe it is a result of your tissue mixing with the blood. This is only conjecture though, the dreams never last long enough for me to figure it out.

One thing I do I know however, is how white your bones look in contrast with the blood. They appear like porcelain- no like beautiful white pearls. They’re luxurious, and priceless.

Logan

~~~~

Janus,

I should leave.

I should go elsewhere. Somewhere far away where you are not within my reach.

But I shouldn’t leave my grandmother. I go visit her every other week. She looks forward to those visits.

Do I have to pick between the two I love?

How does a person do that? No. That’s not the right question. The right question is why am I leaning towards you?

Logan

~~~~

#10

Janus,

I don’t know how far I should go. Where is far enough that I don’t see you when I close my eyes? Because no matter what you’d always be a distance away. And if I travel somewhere there is always the risk that I will take the journey back here.

Where is far enough?

Right now I can only think of one place where I cannot hurt you, but while I know I could take your life, I am too much of a coward to take my own.

Logan

~~~~

#11

Janus,

You seemed annoyed when I cancelled our plans leaving you to see the movie with Remus alone. But I don’t know if I could sit for two hours beside you, without wanting the light in your eyes to dim. I couldn’t go. Not when I’ve already found a new job and a new place to stay.

I’m going to leave for your safety. So I can’t jeopardize it now.

I hope you enjoyed the film.

Logan.

~~~~

#12

Janus,

I leave today. I have not told anyone where I am going. And I’m sure my sudden disappearance will come as a shock to our friends, but that is the least of all evils.

It took months, and it took me till today- the day I am leaving- but I have finally decided what to do with all these letters. I can only hope it is the right choice.

I am sorry Janus.

I am sure those are words you do not wish to hear- or read. But they are true. I am sorry, who I am and whom I’ve become. And at this point it might sound strange, but even so I wish you happiness and life. I wish you life.

Perhaps more than I wish for you death.

Logan.

~~~~

“You have a package.”

“Who from?”

“I dunno.”

He gave a frown as he took the package. It was a small box, a bit smaller than a shoe box and in neat handwriting on top was his name and address but the name on the return address had been rendered unreadable. Maybe something had spilled and scratched it in transport. He stood from his seat, and moved to the kitchen setting the box on the table before retrieving a knife to open the box. When he had, he found envelopes inside- each one bearing his name and a number on the front.

“Did someone send you a box of letters?”

“I’m as confused as you are, Virgil.” He dumped them out, his eyes scanning until he found the envelope marked number one. The letter inside thankfully didn’t seem long, but it held the same neat scrawl. “Dear Janus, I am writing this letter which is addressed to you in order to sort out my own thoughts...” he trailed off his eyes scanning the lines in confusion- before he froze. He read it once. Twice. Three times, before Virgil had snatched it from his hands.

Janus could hear his heartbeat drumming in his ears, and he felt bile rise in his throat- but even so he reached for number two.

“It’s sick,” Virgil said finally, throwing the last one down the table.

Janus didn’t reply as he reached for the closest one- number seven- but Virgil put a hand on it stopping him.

“Don't. Reading them once was bad enough.”

Janus moved his hand away as his eyes drifted to the ceiling above him- but on the whiteness of it he could only see the words he had read. He closed his eyes, squeezing them tight. But now he could almost hear Logan’s voice.

“I used a baseball bat... Your blood has texture... A frame of red.”

“I know we joked that Logan left without a word because he got into trouble but...” Janus trailed off as he took a deep shuddering breath, and when he spoke again his voice was barely above a whisper. “He’s going to come back, isn’t he?”

Virgil didn’t reply, but Janus could hear as he moved about the room before he finally spoke. “...I’m calling the police.”

“And tell them what?” He demanded, looking back to Virgil. “Tell then that someone I thought was my friend actually dreams of killing me? To tell them that he’s now vanished into thin air? He could be anywhere Vee. Anywhere!”

Virgil didn’t reply but he turned so Janus couldn’t see his face. “I’m calling.” He didn’t bother to say anything more, he only took a step out of the room as he dialed, leaving Janus alone.

Alone with the letters.

Alone with his thoughts.

Alone with his fears.

And alone with the hope that Logan would never come back.

#jaz's oneshots #blood #gore #tw blood #tw gore #murder #death #character death #tw death #tw character death #love letters #pining #loceit #one sided attraction #unrequited romance #unrequited pining #unrequited crush #tw suicide #suicide mentions

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