i think what frustrates me the most about discussions of this scene is it is forever and always about what LUCIEN intended, what LUCIEN meant, it’s all about LUCIEN. nobody ever stops and thinks about how ELAIN might process this situation. how ELAIN is feeling in that current moment where her body isn’t her own, it’s been stripped from her, men are laughing at her and she’s on the floor in a wet (!!!!) nightgown.

doesn’t matter if he whispered it or shouted it. doesn’t matter what his intentions were. that is another claim on elain’s already loose claim to her sense of self & sense of autonomy after the cauldron. of course she’s going to take it in the worst way & not want to lean into the whole “mate” thing.

you can pretend to be on elain’s side all you like, the minute you make it about his feelings & not hers you aren’t on her side. you won’t be until you start understanding what it might be like from her perspective.

you understood nesta’s pov, you understood how violating the cauldron was from her pov. elain went into it too. elain experienced that too.

and what makes it TEN TIMES WORSE is when the creator then likes a comment saying “and after lucien’s been so gentle with her she’s so rude to him 😒” like !!!!!!!!! ugh it gets me so fucking heated i cant

ah, yes, christmas !! family time !! (sits seething whilst family rage about the doctor being black !! and gay !! and he's been a woman now, too !!)

Sitting in a waiting room with Mom cuz she has a doc's appointment

There's a sign on the door saying masks are STRONGLY encouraged

Only Mom and I are wearing masks

There are over a dozen people waiting

The fact that I haven't massacred the whole room is a testament to my incredible self-control

I just wanna scream for a few hours

OK THIS IS NOT A FUCKING DRILL EVERYONE FUCKING REPEAT AFTER ME. THIS IS WHAT YOU WILL DO WHEN YOU WATCH MUPPET CHRISTMAS CAROL THIS YEAR:

You will navigate to the page on disney plus (and it has to be here. Unless someone has actually uploaded the REAL movie anywhere else you cannot get it elsewhere)

BUT YOU WILL NOT HIT PLAY. You won’t do it. Because it’s NOT THE REAL VERSION OF THE FILM AND DISNEY IS FUCKING LYING TO YOU AS IT ALWAYS DOES

You will scroll down HERE. To EXTRAS instead. You MUST GO HERE. This is non -negotiable

THEN YOU WILL SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE EXTRAS AND YOU WILL THEN HIT PLAY ON THIS BAD BOY: THE FULL LENGTH VERSION

And you will watch it. And you will thank me for having been so blind and led astray by that stupid fucking mouse. You’re welcome.

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

sorry idk but the way the world is so fast and the people in it still want it to be faster is sooo annoying to me. people groaning while standing in line for 3 minutes people being mad the train ride is gonna take 2 hours people complaining that the bus is a few minutes late people being angry that construction work is taking months even though it used to take decades. don't you see the world is already so so so fast in every single aspect can't you understand that being mad will do nothing and just make your mood worse. enjoy the moments of stillness you're given. just stand in line and look at the people around you. sit on the train and watch the scenery. you'll get there.

I hate people so much

spent like an hour trying to find a post abt the disparity of origin companion's content in bg3 and couldn't so, hey, this fucking sucks

something about "your anger isn't scary to me" is making me so emotional. something about as above so below, cassandra as a mirror of kristen. something about "I've been dropping the ball a lot lately" and kristen's struggles with adhd. something about teenage girls and rage and fury and justice. something about adaine's vision of ruining fallinel and the sylvaire looking for revenge. something about sadness and doubt and anger and love. something about "I choose to understand" being the absolute core theme of d20 in general. something something.

conflating diaspora jews with the actions of the israeli government is not okay, yes, but have you considered it's not okay to conflate israeli jews with them either

i genuinely don't care how good a piece of ai generated art or writing looks on the surface. i don't care if it emulates brush strokes and metaphor in a way indistinguishable from those created by a person.

it is not the product of thoughtful creation. it offers no insights into the creator's life or viewpoint. it has no connection to a moment in time or a place or an attitude. it has no perspective. it has no value.

it's empty, it's hollow, and it exists only to generate clicks (and by extension, ad revenue.)

it's just another revolting symptom of the disease that is late stage capitalism, and it fucking sucks.

okay i will admit i enjoyed these three in the like. one scene they were actually all on screen together.

sofia voice shut up and get the fuck out goncharov, i’m gonna fuck your wife now.

"What do you mean their name isn't Beef?"

(for @moondal514)

actually people do not have a moral obligation to 'recover'. they have a moral obligation to do their best not to inflict harm on others. these are two distinct but sometimes overlapping concepts.

I dont know how to say this other than this:

If you want "blonde representation" in the percy jackson series i need you to respectfully shut the fuck up. The argument that you wanted a blonde girl to play annabeth because "it was a big part of her character" tells me you didnt understand her character AT ALL. To say that it dissapointed you that annabeth wasnt blonde in the show because her being blonde proved the "dumb blonde" stereotype wrong... i hate to break it to you but...i dont think blonde people are really being oppressed by that trope, crazy i know. Its a thing that exists, yes, but being completly honest, i dont think that a person in real life will come across a blonde woman and believe shes stupid just because shes blonde. Like you didnt "lost" representation, and it ABSOLUTELY didnt damage annabeth character. Just because theres ONE stupid line of dialogue in mark of athena where annabeth say "people dont take me seriously bc im blonde" doesnt mean that thats her whole character.