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stxrvel · 4 months

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i don't wanna live forever (1)

summary: reader couldn't stop having deaths in her life ever since the Supersoldier serum came into her life. no matter how hard she tried to stay sane, it seemed that life didn't want to give her a break. until, one afternoon, she learned that one of her old friends was alive… (you guys know im bad at summaries, but please give this one a chance)

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

words: +4.5k

warnings: angst, major character deaths, canon deaths¿?, bad words, english is not my first language! thoughts of revenge and death, this is like an introductory chapter, so the buckyxreader interaction is low, but it'll get better, i promise!

note: holy fuck guys. i just spent like five hours writing and editing this and i fucking love it. its been a while since ive been this proud of a work, im actually scare the emotion will disappear, but i really want to rejoice in this one. i wanted to write something a little different from my usuals, maybe a little common in the fanfiction world, but i started and i simply could not stop (or maybe just approach this bucky fic from another perspective). so this is the first part and i'll try with all my heart to keep this going because it was fucking insane, at least for me. i really hope you all like this as much as i do! feel free to leave any comment! thanks always for all the support!! see you next time <3

part 2 ; part 3 ; part 4

When you went into the Supersoldier serum project with Steve, you thought you were going to change the world. Of course, at that time when technology was relatively new any invention felt like the beginning of a new era. That's how it was all sold to you and it was how you expected everything to turn out… Until you realized that it was all really a waste of effort and time.

They were just propaganda for war. Not to stop it, to promote it. To motivate it.

You tried, on several occasions, not to think too much about it. You tried to stay out of it as Steve sometimes asked you to, even though even he didn't want to, as Bucky asked you to when you lay on his shoulder to cry in the little time you had free between trips. It was a great burden of guilt and helplessness.

Until you and Steve, with the almost imposed help of Peggy and Howard, rescued Bucky from the evil hands of Johann Schmidt and his nefarious organization, HYDRA, that, unbeknownst to you, would haunt you for a long time to come. It was only after that, after spending several sleepless days on edge thinking about what might be happening to Bucky, that you and Steve were finally able to go out and contribute something. Destroy HYDRA and the Red Skull's plans.

Of course, you realized that not everything could go right when, the one mission you couldn't attend, Bucky didn't return. And then Steve didn't come back either.

“Do you think this will ever end?” you had asked Bucky the day before his last mission.

“Of course it will,” he had answered without hesitation, moonlight illuminating his clear eyes, squeezing your hand as if it was all he wanted to do for the rest of his life. “And after that we can begin to live as it should be.”

But there was no after that, because you never recovered from losing him. From losing them both.

“Are you okay?” Peggy approached, in the middle of the afternoon when the sun was streaming through the stained glass windows of the church, illuminating the spot where Steve's empty coffin had been, because they didn't even find his body. They didn't even think there was any of it left.

You barely moved your head to acknowledge her presence, moving the prayer slip they had recited throughout the mass between your hands. Your eyes were crystallized, in tears that no longer even made the effort to flow, because you had already spent too many days and nights crying. Peggy had been on the other side of the church, sitting next to Howard while the priest spoke, because you had refused to be near them in those moments. You didn't want to be near them.

“As well as one can be,” you slurred, finding that it had been a long time since you'd last used your voice for anything other than cursing and crying disconsolately.

The people had already left, probably an hour or more ago. The empty coffin had already been brought out, all the flower arrangements had been picked up, and the priest was preparing for the evening mass. You knew you had to leave, you knew Peggy and Howard were there waiting for you, but you felt stuck at that moment. You didn't want to leave, you didn't want to get ahead, you didn't want that life if it had to be this cruel.

You heard Peggy's sigh, before she took a seat next to you, a short distance away, averting her gaze to look at Christ on the cross.

You didn't know if you were selfish to be so closed off to your friends at this moments, because they must be grieving as much as you were, but you didn't know how to deal with the future possibilities. Bucky and Steve, great men and soldiers, one even with enhanced abilities, had not been able to make it through the punishment of war. What if Peggy and Howard were the same? What if they too had the cruel fate of dying at the hands of injustice? Could you deal with that? With everyone gone?

Maybe you could open up to them a little more because if not, who else? Turning away from them was not going to ensure their survival in this hate-filled society. Maybe you could protect them, like you couldn't protect Steve and Bucky. Maybe you could make a difference, because you had the chance to.

“You know,” Peggy spoke again, rearranging herself on the bench and crossing her legs, “Steve always knew this was how it would end.”

Her wistful, mournful, fragile voice sent a shiver through your body. Peggy didn't consider herself someone to show herself vulnerable in front of others no matter how close they were, even in those things that hurt her the most, in those things that affected her personally and made her eyes water instantly, she always tended to shut down. And at that moment you didn't dare interrupt her because you knew it would probably be the only time she would talk about Steve in a long time.

“Sometimes we'd talk, between tour trips, and he would tell me that wasn't what he wanted to do, even when he had to convince you otherwise,” her clasped hands would occasionally squeeze between words, blinking rapidly to fight back the tears. “He didn't know if he'd made the right decision.”

You could almost picture him, backstage at the foot of the stairs with that notebook he carried everywhere and wouldn't let go, Peggy at his side nostalgic, as helpless as the others. It reminded you of the times you'd had similar conversations with Bucky, desperate to find a purpose, a way through so much fog.

“The first time I saw him so sure of himself was when he asked us to help them look for Bucky,” she mumbled his name, as if trying not to scare you away by saying it too loudly. “Ever since then it seemed like he'd found that spark…”

“Until Bucky died,” you whispered, the words cutting through the cold and silence, Peggy shifting on the bench contritely.

“He lost something of himself from that day on, it wasn't hard to tell. The next time I heard him so sure after spending days lost, it was on that call from the plane.”

Peggy paused, raising her hand to cover her mouth as her voice faltered. You turned to look at her, wishing you could rip the pain from her soul and leave it in yours. She was trying to contain her emotions, breathing deeply, and in that moment you wondered what life might be like from now on, with the specter of grief following you around, waiting for the next time the dead knocked on your doors, unexpectedly, without allowing you to say goodbye.

“He had told me he wouldn't die in peace until he could get it all over with. And he took it all with him. And I hated him so much for it…” Peggy sobbed, her labored breathing standing out between words. She kept looking straight ahead at the stained glass windows, the expression on her face hard and scowling despite having tears rolling down her cheeks, as if she were trying to blame something for what had happened. Her reproachful eyes fixed on the Christ.

Her wails echoed through the walls of the church, the father on the dais sending them a look of sorrow. He had offered you water, thirty minutes after everyone at Steve's wake had left, when they kept walking, and you stood there.

Another empty casket.

“Ladies,” Howard's voice reached your ears amidst all the physical and emotional numbness. You could barely notice Peggy wiping under her eyes with the pocket square that was surely part of Howard's suit, as she took breaths to get up. “We should go now.”

You heard him walk, his slow, careful steps stopping just behind you. There, on his feet with his chest tight, he rested a hand on your shoulder and gave it a squeeze in support. He knew it was the most you would allow him at a time like this, deciding not to pass up the opportunity to let you know he was there. You sighed, feeling a heaviness take over your body as you stood up.

“Yeah, let's go.”

The next few months passed in a blur. Maybe too fast, maybe too slow, you weren't sure anymore.

Peggy continued to work at the Strategic Science Reserve for a couple of years, calling you from time to time to help her with some jobs. You kept a low profile, practically a fugitive from the state, while trying to live a halfway normal life in Europe. A lot of it thanks to Howard really.

Life had become a rather monotonous routine when you stopped getting so many calls from Peggy and Howard several years later. You knew they were fine, but not being able to return to the country filled you with anguish every day. And trying to lead a normal life became too complicated when you looked in the mirror and it seemed like not a single day had passed since you were in that capsule of Dr. Erskine's with Steve.

Until Peggy called one day asking you to come back. She told you that it was safe, that there would be no state officials waiting for you at the airport, but even if that had been the situation, you wouldn't have hesitated for a second to buy the first plane ticket and fly to see them again. To Howard and Peggy, to melt into an embrace, longing for the lost years.

You had thought that contributing to the fight in World War II had earned you a ticket to at least be recognized in the military, but all you gained was the government with their mad scientists looking for you to try to recreate the Supersoldier serum. Peggy didn't want to risk you and Howard gave you no choice by giving you a plane ticket to Finland with your bags packed.

You wasted many years not being by their side, unable to keep the promise you had made them in your head to be close by to protect them, to watch over their safety.

But when you left the airport there was only Peggy, and maybe that should've told you everything.

Her hair already looked gray, the effects of gravity and time present on her face. You hated to think that you shouldn't have looked any different from the way she saw you last time when she waved you off at that same airport. Her warm gaze was the same, raising her arms with held back tears to encircle you in a big hug. She tried hard not to sob against your shoulder, you felt the choppy movement of her breath against your chest.

She looked so different and the same at the same time.

You walked to her car a moment later, her trying to carry your suitcase and you telling her you were perfectly fine carrying it on your own. Amidst a smile, she walked into the driver's door and you frowned as you saw the empty passenger seat.

“Where's Howard?” you spoke as you sat down, after stowing the huge suitcase in the trunk of the car. The way you moved to buckle up, you didn't notice the way Peggy froze in place, her hands clenching the steering wheel so tightly that her breath hitched from the effort.

“We're going to see him,” was all she said, but she was very good at hiding that something was wrong. Only for a little while.

During the trip, even though you tried to ask things about them, about what they had been doing during this time, you didn't miss the way her shoulders were tense or her eyes very alert. Something bad had happened and Peggy was trying to hide it from you.

When she pulled up in front of a church, you already knew what had happened without her answering a single one of your questions.

Howard had died.

You two had sat next to Howard's son Tony, his spitting image, in complete silence as the prayers went on. At that moment you didn't know what had happened, hoping it had been a quiet and peaceful death, because you didn't know if you would be able to endure another violent death.

Peggy gave you all the details when the mass was over, after the coffin was taken away, and you hadn't felt such fury in so many years. Not since the deaths of Bucky and Steve had that adrenaline rush of anger returned to run through your body as violently as it did at that moment, when Peggy told you that he had been murdered along with his wife. All to steal some prototypes of Dr. Erskine's serum. The damned serums with which everything had started.

This time there was a body in the coffin, but there was also a culprit. Someone to point the finger at and take it out on for years of anguish and pain.

You were at Peggy's house, staying for a few days, when she told you that wasn't all.

Peggy had a suspicion that HYDRA hadn't disappeared when Steve crashed that plane into the ice. Her suspicions generated panic in you, because Bucky and Steve had died for that, now apparently Howard, only for it all to have been for nothing. The feeling of carnage that ran through your whole head made you nauseous, years of helplessness and pain pent up in such a small body had to find its way out somehow.

“It was a man, according to the information I've been able to gather,” Peggy spoke, taking a seat across from you in the dining room of her living room, after pouring you a glass of lemonade. “He didn't die from the crash. He had a concussion. He was hit in the head. His wife died from asphyxiation.”

“Does Tony know?”

“No,” Peggy shook her head quickly, one hand over her heart as if the mere thought caused her physical pain. “It didn't even occur to me to tell him something like that.”

“And he was looking for the serum,” you recalled, a bitter feeling planted in the back of your throat, the memories of the disastrous times during the war coming back into your head like a blinding flash.

“He took them. We don't know who he is or who he works for, but whoever they are, they must have been following us for a long time to know about them.”

“You mean years,” you arched an eyebrow, your fingers touching the cool exterior of the glass seeking some reassurance.

“Possibly. That project isn't recent,” Peggy nodded, drinking her lemonade with a grimace. You stared at the liquid almost finished from her glass, a wrinkle forming between your brows with each passing second and you kept wondering why.

“But what the fuck was going through that asshole's head?” you spat angrily. Rage at already the amount of lives that serum had taken with it and at Howard's recklessness. Rage at the reaper who seemed to be following in their footsteps for some reason, rage at that damn man and whoever his damn boss was.

“It was the only option, Y/N,” Peggy turned her gaze, meeting your eyes with a strange glint.

“What do you mean?” you were almost afraid to ask, your friend's gaze suddenly turning evasive. You watched her run her fingernails over the glass of the tumbler, lost for a moment in thought. The way her shoulders slumped forward in defeat caused a pressure in your chest that made it hard to breathe. Peggy shouldn't be going through these things at this point in life.

“Howard was working with the Pentagon, as a contractor or something. They had found you. Howard felt cornered and they made him sign an agreement.”

With your incredulous look on her face, Peggy didn't dare look back at you for a few seconds. So much had happened since you had left and it seemed that you had only been told about the things you weren't going to care about so much. But if you had known that you wouldn't have cared much about giving some of the state officials their comeuppance. You would've liked Howard to trust you enough to tell you, not live in as much fear behind his back as the last few years must've been. You didn't like the way Peggy's lips curved downward, as if she, too, would've preferred to make another decision had she known this was how it was going to end.

“Howard assured them that he could recreate the serum, and told them he would as long as they left you alone.”

“Fucking asshole…” you closed your eyes, scrubbing your face with your hands. The rough skin of your hands rubbed against the delicate skin of your face, years of combat and mistreatment foreseeing a harshness that reminded you every day of what you'd had to go through to get to that moment.

“I only found out about it after it happened. I didn't see it for like a whole week,” Peggy shook her head slightly, her eyes glistening in the pain of the memories. You shook your head hard, a more violent reaction than you could have anticipated.

“That stupid… stupid asshole! What the fuck made him think I couldn't defend myself?”

“He was trying to do the right thing,” Peggy finally searched your eyes, meeting the red rims that told her you were holding back too hard breaking in front of her, only using that pain mixed with rage to keep you sane.

“And look how that turned out!”

Peggy stretched her hand across the table, with a pleading look asking you to lower your voice, averting her gaze to the hallway. You followed her gaze, for a second forgetting where you were, forgetting that her family was with you behind the doors where you were plunged into darkness. It was past midnight.

You took a second to calm yourself, trying to drown out the uncontrolled emotions and taking deep breaths to calm your fluttering heart.

“And if what you theorize is true…” you regretted the moment those words left your mouth; you didn't even want to finish the sentence.

“Do you think it is?”

“I don't want to,” you shook your head instantly, closing your eyes, the thought sounding illogical inside your head. Your hands on your chest trying to contain the storm of feelings that was making chaos inside your head. “That would mean that everything we did, everything Bucky, Steve and Howard did and sacrificed, was in vain. It will all have been in vain.”

You spent several weeks with that thought in your head, working hand in hand with Peggy, and the organization you barely knew as SHIELD, to track down the whereabouts of the killer of Tony's parents and the one responsible because the Supersoldier's serums were, surely, in the wrong hands.

And yes, it was many years of fruitless missions and dead ends, with you running every field mission and Peggy calling the shots from the New York facility. Every time you felt close to discovering something, it seemed that the enemy rejoiced in your failures and still couldn't understand how they were always three steps ahead.

However, you had to leave the missions when Peggy became ill.

The silent, lethal Alzheimer's.

During the first months in the hospital, she still recognized you. She also recognized her husband and children. But after the first year, she frowned every time her children walked through the door. After a year and a half, her husband had to remind her that they had been married for about forty years.

After two years, she was still only remembering you, Howard, Steve and Bucky. Her whole life during her time in the army was all you talked about, sometimes you would tell her how much more time had passed than she remembered and always, without fail, she would ask you how much you had done in Europe for so long by yourself.

She cried every time she remembered Howard's death. She cried every time she remembered her children. Out of her mouth came a thousand apologies that no one would accept, because there was nothing anyone could do to prevent what had to happen. You wished she had been a serum test subject instead of you.

For several years, missions to find Tony's parents killer were sporadic because you spent more time around Peggy than at the SHIELD facility. She was the only thing you had left of everything you'd ever had, of when you held the world in your hands. She was the last thing keeping you tethered to that reality, keeping madness from flooding your reason. How could you have so many years ahead of you when that was all you had to live for? A life full of the dead, full of pain and suffering. What kind of karma were you paying for?

You were leaving the SHIELD facility, after another failed mission, when Nick Fury stopped you in front of the exit. You almost rolled your eyes right under his watchful gaze, tired of having to meet him anywhere, and exhausted from his comments about this vengeance project or whatever he wanted you to be a part of.

You still didn't know how, being such an exemplary agent, Coulson had fallen into his nets.

“Miss L/N,” the man stopped you with his words, his hands behind his back and a tense stance that caught your attention.

“Fury,” you nodded in his direction, hoping he'd be quick because you were running late for your weekly visit with Peggy. “Do you need anything?”

“I'd like you to come with me somewhere,” Fury approached tentatively, his one eye fixed on your wary expression, which shifted to boredom the moment you thought you knew what he wanted.

“If this is about that project, I've told you a thousand times-”

“No,” he interrupted you, moving forward and removing his hands from behind his back. “It's not related to that. I really want you to come with me.”

“You look agitated, but I need-”

“I'll take you to see Peggy myself after this.”

You didn't like that he knew your routine, even though you weren't doing enough to hide it from the other agents. But Fury looked nervous, even though he was hiding it very well, trying to keep his cool as he looked for ways to convince you.

You figured it wouldn't be a big deal for you to go off the deep end for once. After all, Peggy never remembered you were going to see her.

You set off in Fury's armored vans, not quite sure where you were going, but sure that it was urgent, because he had taken it upon himself to let his driver know that you had to get there as soon as possible.

You took that time on the trip to come up with a new strategy for the next mission because what you were doing up to that point wasn't working and you felt too close to throwing in the towel, figuratively speaking. You could spend years following a ghost, but you wouldn't give up on finding Howard and Maria's killer.

Before the car pulled up to one of SHIELD's secret sections, they passed the giant, imposing Stark Tower. You never saw Tony again after that time at his parents' funeral, not even during his visits to Peggy because you always made it a point not to cross him. You didn't think you'd be able to look him in the eye while you knew his parents had been killed without being able to tell him. You had promised Peggy in her lucid moments that you wouldn't tell him anything until you could find the culprit. You didn't want to initiate that pain if it had to be kept repressed, as yours once was, and probably still is. You had learned, some time after the funeral, that he was living with Edwin Jarvis, and you were glad to know that he would have good companionship to keep him company in such hard times.

Fury, a handful of agents and you entered the vans through the entrance to what appeared to be the parking lot of an old warehouse. Upon entering, the first thing you noticed was the number of armed agents that seemed to be guarding the place, not at all discreet to how SHIELD used to do things. You weren't sure if Peggy would authorize something like that, but you couldn't question the Director's decisions. It wasn't your place.

“What's going on here?” you frowned, watching as every meter there was another agent and another agent. You got out of the car without waiting for an answer from Fury, moving directly toward the entrance where most of the agents were concentrated. You barely noticed their looks in contradiction, running their eyes over you and then over the man trying to catch up to you, dubious as to whether or not they should move. “Move.”

“Wait,” Fury's voice stopped the command in the agents, who turned back to look at you as you sent Fury a confused look.

“What's all this mystery, Nicholas?” the man startled almost discreetly at your tone of voice, the agents stirring uncomfortably, but kept the serene expression that was getting on your nerves. “What the fuck did you do?”

“We got a call from the Arctic.”

“From the Arctic?”

You tried to ignore the way the hairs on your neck instantly stood up, your body alerting you to something your mind still couldn't comprehend. You felt like a deer face to face with a predator, expecting the worst.

“The Colonel informed us of something that might interest us,” Fury's cryptic voice echoed in your ears, drowning out the flicker of uncertainty vibrating from your head to your toes. “They found a plane.”

You didn't even answer him. Your heart began to pound wildly, cornered, ready to have your head bitten off. The tension in your shoulders intensified, with the involuntary movement of your hands as you broke into a cold sweat. The mere implication of his words caused an emptiness in your stomach, a sense of longing and fear you hadn't felt before.

You looked at Fury, trying to find in his gaze the gleam of a lie, but there was nothing there but assurance. There was nothing but recognition and understanding in his gaze, but that didn't make the emptiness in your stomach and the tight chest go away. It didn't make the feeling of being outside your body go away.

You barely remembered to move in the direction of the door, the agents instantly moving out of your way, pushing it so hard that one of them flew out. You moved your eyes around every corner of the room, the cream-colored walls generating a great repulsion in you. And there, in the midst of all the confusion and the storm, a confused and disgruntled face looked back at you. A face you never thought you would see again.

Steve Rogers was standing a few feet away from you, barely comprehending what was happening around him and instantly recognizing you. Your chest compressed once again, the tears you held back for so many years even in your loneliness making their own way into your eyes, endangering to end that mask you wore everywhere you went.

Steve was actually there, looking back at you with his eyes shining in recognition. You didn't know if he was as surprised as you were to react or you looked so bad that he didn't know if he should approach you or not. You just knew it was him, it really was him right there in front of you. He wasn't dead. Steve wasn't dead. He was alive. Ah, he was so alive.

The broken sob that suddenly left you was loud enough to make your friend shed his stupefaction and stride over to where you were. You barely managed to cover your face, between sobs, wails and disbelief, feeling your knees give out, surrendering to the weight of the pain, when his strong arms grabbed your shoulders before you hit the floor. Preventing your fall, as you had wished so many times before.

You cried against his shoulder, when feeling him against your body you knew there was no doubt it was true. You moved your hands away from your face, wrapping them around his waist as tightly and lovingly as you hadn't hugged anyone in so long. Surely the last time you hugged someone like that was when you saw Peggy on your way back from Europe.

Steve wasn't far behind, his arms around your shoulders just as tightly, his chin against the crown of your head, moving from side to side trying to hold back the loud sobs that shook your body.

You couldn't believe it, but it was true, he was right in front of you.

Steve was alive. He had come back to your side. You didn't even want to ask why.

And there was nothing else you could think about for the rest of your life.

#stxrvel talks #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fanfic #bucky fic #bucky x you #bucky fluff #bucky barnes angst #james bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky #james bucky buchanan barnes #winter soldier #the winter soldier #steve rogers

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patrophthia · 5 months

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Hii soo I have a request for Regulus x reader :) okay so like maybe the reader got like a bad haircut or smt and feels very insecure and so Regulus comforts them and says like it's not that bad lol. You don't have to write it if you don't want to it's just a request! :)

i’m sorry this took so long, i have no excuse ive just been lazy 😭😭😭 but this idea, is so so cute hello?!?!

veritaserum | regulus black

pairing: regulus black x reader

genre: fluff, established relationship, comforting, a bit suggestive, not proof read!

One thing about Regulus Black is that he tends to take things a little too seriously. Just a little, he promises as he watch you fuss over your new hair do.

A slight frown playing at your lips as you try to toss your locks in different directions. Left, right, left again, right again. Only to finally give up and huff out in frustration, turning to him with an all too upset look on your face.

“I told them to only take a few inches off, this way too much and it’s not even the style I asked for them to do! How am I supposed to go around looking like this, Reg?”

Regulus narrow his eyes, squinting as he tried to find what exactly was so wrong about your new cut. Sure it’s short, and definitely different from the pass styles he’s seen on you but you still look breathtaking, isn’t that all that matters? “Looking like…?”

“A derange person who doesn’t know how to take care of themselves,” you say, flailing your hands up in frustration. “Merlin, what am I going to do?”

“It’s not bad,” he offers, shrugging. And when your frowns deepens, he adds. “Really, it isn’t.”

“You’re only saying that because you’re my boyfriend,” your murmur, “just admit it doesn’t look good, I won’t be mad at you.”

“I’m not! I genuinely think it looks good on you.” And because Regulus tends to take things about too seriously, he reaches into his book bag before pulling out a small clear vial. “Here, this is veritaserum.”

He doesn’t need to explain it to you, the both of you having studied the content within the while a few classes ago in Potions. Regulus, pulls the cork open before quickly downing the clear substance.

There’s a few moments of silence where you both stared at one another. You not believing that he really downed an entire vial of truth serum just to prove of his point, and when you take a step forward; Regulus opens up his mouth to speak.

“Your new hair cut looks amazing on you, Mon chéri,” he says first. “Breath taking even.”

The corner of your lips twist upwards on its own accord, heart softening at his words. “You didn’t have to drink that just to tell me.”

“You wouldn’t have believe me otherwise,” he hiccups, short dark curls falling gracefully onto his forehead. Regulus, pushes it off his face, gazing at you with content. “Matter of fact, I think I’m getting hard just looking at you, I can’t fake that.”

“Gross, Reg,” you groaned, making your way towards him with a fake disgusted look, “you didn’t have to tell me that.”

“I didn’t want to either,” he says, reaching out for you, and you let him take your hand, “but I can’t really control what I want to say right now since I—” he lifts up the empty vial into your line of sight “—anyways, your hair looks good on you. And if you’re so worried about it then I’m sure there’s hair tonic that’ll grow it back out in a moments time.”

“Mhmm,” you hum, nodding as you agreed with him, “think I’ll keep it like this for a few weeks though.”

And when Regulus lets out a quiet —barely even there, “yes!” You think that he might’ve liked this hair cut more than he lets on.

#regulus x reader #regulus black imagines #regulus black fanfiction #regulus headcanon #regulus black x reader #regulus black fluff #🧳: my writing #— requests

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cult-of-the-eye · 4 months

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Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski as a jmart song:

"there's nobody better than you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Fuck it's so Jon talking to Martin. He sees Martin as a better person than him, both morally and literally in terms of humanity and it fits his whole S1 ew martin to S4 oh martin arc so well

"but you knew from the start it was us, didn't you/it just took me a while til I knew"

Yep yep yep that's Martin. He loved Jon from the start. Of course Jon's admitting that. And of course he's doing it in such a self deprecating way.

Read more cause this is long

"now I lay as I study a blank wall/would you spare me your voice if I call?"

Ok so we're in Martin's Peter Lukas era right now, Jon is fully pining he's completely checked out and dissociating and he needs Martin to ground him, to be his anchor and he's reaching out in a way that puts the focus on Martin's next move as opposed to him calling which is SO HIM

"Cause you waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you just grew a little smarter, too"

Fuck he's like you treated me so well, you waited so long for me to like you back but then you realised it was futile and stopped, but obviously you would do that because you're an angel and blameless

"So, I don't blame you/If you want to bury me in your memory/I'm not the girl I ought to be, but/Maybe when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not how I turned out to be"

Jon's love is just so self deprecating I feel like, he's so acts of service, he's like it's ok that you don't want me, I get it, I'm not loveable but at least I seemed loveable for you to have crushed on me for that long

And and cause Martin's separated from jon, the only thing he has left is his memory of him, the one that lives in his head

"There's some kind of burning inside me/It's kept me from falling apart"

Oh yeah this is so them like Jon's had this drive within him, this incessant need to keep going, to keep finding things out, to keep burrowing deeper into the problem and it's kept him alive cause it's kept him ambitious and it's kept him from being stagnant but it's also been destroying him from the inside cause he can't stop

"And I'm sure that you've seen what it's done to my heart/But it's kept me from falling apart"

But Martin sees this, Martin knows who Jon is and it's almost a plea to try and accept that what's driving him isn't a good thing

"Now here I lay as I wonder about you/would you just tell me what I'm meant to do?"

Jon's like how do I get Martin to come back, how do I get him to be near me, ive tried everything, just tell me and I'll do it

"Cause I've waited and watered my heart 'til it grew/you can see how it's blossomed for you"

Its like a look, you waited for me, now I'll wait for you, I'll take care of myself in your absence to show you how much I care about what you've done for me, I do love you, finally, thank you for waiting all this time

"And I don't mean to make your heart blue/But could we be what we're meant to be?/I'm just about to beg you, please"

God I'm so feral for this last bit

Jon's like I know me begging you to come back is hurting you but I'm finally giving into what you want, you need to come back so we can be together like we're meant to, he's at the end of his tether, he's pleading while threatening to plead

"And then, when you tell your friends/You can tell them what you saw in me/And not the way I used to be"

I'll be better for you, I promise vibes.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #jonmartin #jonmartin songs #jmart songs #goodbye my danish sweetheart #mitski #tma brainrot #tma character analysis #song analysis #oh my god this has GRIPPED MY BRAIN

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lesbolieeh · 10 months

Text

She left behind a poem

Yuna (ITZY) ✦ Fem!Reader

WC—3.8 ✦ k

THEMES—sfw ✦ light angst ✦ future fluff (?) ✦ best friend au ✦ crush au

WARNING—anxiety ✦ heartbreak ✦ crying yuna :(

NOW PLAYING—Jenny (I Wanna Ruin Our Friendship) ✦ Studio Killers

[A/N.] 언니 (eonni) = older sister

Original ver. “The Notebook” (Somi x reader)

M.LISTS—itzy ✦ latest updates ✦ read on wp

✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦

Today was one of those bad fucking days. One of those days when you can't find any positivity in anything. One of those days when you don't feel like talking to the people you love the most. One of those days when you just want to give up.

The first thing you saw in the morning was a the notification of a text from your girlfriend. Looking at the white speech bubble is something you usually look forward to when you see Somi's name bright up your screen, knowing she always has something entertaining to tell.

But this particular morning she said something you wish were a joke.

SomSom babieboo💞

[ive been thinking lately and _____ i think we need a break]

😘🤌👅🍒🍑✂️🌈☀️

[You're not going to tell me why?]

Seen 10:17

You asked her the first thing that came to your mind. She couldn't possibly just expect you to be OK with having a break without a reason, right?

After an hour you accepted the fact that she had left you on read and that she wasn't going to reply anytime soon.

Maybe it was because she called you _____.

She never called you by your name. Only your friends called you that. She was supposed to call you weird or cheesy pet names and nothing else!

She left you with a headache. She left you with your bad thoughts and theories. Damn you, Somi.

It was very human-like of you to be in a bad mood. Only a robot would feel nothing in this situation. The day wouldn't get any worse. You were going to make sure of it! Your mood may have been bad, but you weren't going to let anyone else get affected by it. Lashing out on innocent people because you don't feel good on the inside is something you hated doing.

Today you were going to hang out with your best friend, Yuna, have a picnic on a park next to the Han river. Yuna had packed a cute pink basket (that she had specifically bought for you two to use for picnics together since they happened at least thrice a month) which was filled with tuna and kimchi kimbap, green grapes, two clementines and some churro flavored chips and you had packed a large outdoor blanket so Yuna wouldn't have too much to carry. For almost a week you two hadn't met up and you both missed each other and wanted to make up for the days you had spent apart so of course you went for the nice, typical no-homo picnic hang out session.

But no.

You weren't going to meet Yuna and ruin her parade with the rain cloud that was following you around wherever you went since you opened your eyes this dark morning. No, you weren't going to let the first time you two meet in such a long time be ruined by the sad news you got this ugly morning.

언니 🥰

[I can't hang out today, sorry]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[why not?☹️]

언니 🥰

[I'm not feeling too well]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[it's ok i'll get some soup for u😊]

언니 🥰

[No, you don't need to, I don't want you to get sick!]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[but ive missed u sm☹️]

언니 🥰

[We'll meet another day I promise to make up for this!]

And so you put the phone gently on the table to lay on the sofa and binge watch some random show. You made sure to turn your phone off first since you knew you'd cut Somi some slack in case you read any persuasive text from her — she's good with words and making you feel loved. Whilst you were looking through all the lists Netflix had created for you, which were filled with movies and series you either had already seen or weren't interested in, Yuna was still expectantly waiting for her screen to go bright.

She must be joking, she thought.

Unlike you, Yuna's morning had started out brilliant. From the moment she opened her eyes, she was smiling and full of energy, excited to hang out with you after not seeing you for five whole days. She had missed you. Spending time with you was one of her favorite hobbies! Since you two had picnics regularly you two had decided that you would take turns in deciding and packing the picnic basket and this time it was Yuna's turn! She had been so excited all week, planning out a shopping list days before. She had specifically purchased grapes this time because she had this fantasy of putting one in your mouth (which sounded weird, but it would feel intimate to feed you fruit) and also playing around and throwing grapes up in the air and catching them in the mouth.

Needless to say, she liked you a little more than a best friend should and that was a bit of a problem. Her friends kept telling her that it was stupid to spend so much time with you and that Yuna should either try to ignore her emotions or she should distance herself from you until she loses feelings, because it was unfair to hurt herself by giving herself false hopes of getting somewhere with a taken girl.

And Yuna knew it. For so long, she'd known that it was a bad idea to like you. You didn't like her in the same way, and you even had a girlfriend for fuck's sake — and a really pretty one at that! But no matter how many red flags there were, she still wanted to spend everyday with you. She didn't want a week to go by without being with you. She wanted to cuddle with you on a picnic blanket. She wanted to kiss you when you visited photo booths. She wanted to share shirts with you. She wanted to stay up late and talk until you two fell asleep in each others' arms. She wanted to be the only one you called Baby.

Wondering why you called Yuna 'Baby' when you already were in a relationship with Somi? Well, Baby had been Yuna's nickname before you even met Somi (yes, you'd known Yuna longer than you'd known Somi, yet you still found yourself in a relationship with the latter — or not anymore actually). And though your (then) girlfriend never liked it, you had convinced her it was just a friendly pet name. Because that's exactly what it was.

To you.

To Yuna it was the closest she'd ever feel to being your girlfriend. But you started using that pet name less and ever since Somi came around and ruined everything more than it already was ruined. Yuna even had to change her contact name on your phone to include the word 'baby' so you wouldn't forget to call her that.

She loathed Somi.

Somi was always the reason why you couldn't hang out with your bestfriend for too long, why you couldn't call her Baby on certain occasions and why you couldn't look at her as a potential girlfriend. Somi was an attention thief. Not really. But it felt like it. Yuna was jealous of everything Somi had with you.

Because your girlfriend obviously was a threat, Yuna felt like she needed even more of your validation than before (which was already a lot). She needed your attention. If you ignored her she'd think it was your way of telling her that you had left her completely for Somi. Ridiculous! She shouldn't feel like you owe attention to her.

Your friendly fucking friendship was the closest thing Yuna had to being together with you in the way she really wanted, so she valued it a lot. Not having you as her girlfriend was painful enough, but not having you as even her friend would break her.

Right now you weren't validating your time together, nor your friendship — or at least it felt like it to Yuna. She always needed. Your attention and unlike normally, she wasn't getting it right now. Her smile dropped and so did her excitement for the day.

Was this the end?

She knew that spending one week without each other would lead to more time for you to spend with your damn girlfriend but she didn't know it would lead to the end of your friendship.

No way she'd bail on the picnic plans.

Baby Yunanana🍓

[can i pls come over? i bought fruits for u<33 i'm sure fruits is exactly what u need right now!!]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[idc if i get sick or not bc i still wanna hang out w u]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[pls 언니]

Sent 11:33

You had ignored her only once before and it was a horrible experience.

The way you ignored her (on accident) was so hurtful that she had to leave the gathering that she had looked forward to for so long, confusing the other guests, to go and lock herself in a bathroom so she could cry without bothering anyone. You'd gone right after her since you knew it wasn't very Yuna-like to leave a fun time for no reason. After you had knocked on the door and reassured her you were her best friend and not a random person coming to make fun of her, she let you in the bathroom.

The sight you were met by was her crumbling figure on the floor and overflowing tears on her cheeks. She had thought that you wanted nothing to do with her. Stupid you didn't see the obvious signs. It was because of the fact that you hadn't paid any attention to her that Yuna had gotten the idea that you had grown bored of her or that you wanted to leave her for Somi (she hadn't told you the latter part, of course). And weeks later you did get together with Somi. And that made her cry herself to sleep for days which you never knew.

How much your lack of attention and affection for Yuna had affected her was scary. And a fucking sign, you idiot. Nobody gets so worked up over the loss of affection of someone they view as a friend. Ever since that incident you'd made sure to always remind her of how much you value your friendship.

Except for today.

She thought she had made it clear enough to you that you never ever should ignore her unless you really meant It. Unless you really wanted to part ways. To go from the bestest friends to cold acquaintances. Some people might think it's crazy to be this attached to a best friend but you weren't just her best friend. You were her love and happiness. Without you she didn't have either.

Five minutes passed since she triple texted you and she still had no reply. Slowly she felt how her tummy was turning into knots and how her eyes started stinging.

Baby Yunanana🍓

[ur making me worried]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[hey!! text me so ik u didn't die from choking on strawberry milk 언니😰]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[r u ignoring me?🫠]

Baby Yunanana🍓

[unless u have corona, meet me by the river at 6 if u care abt me. i need to talk to u abt smth important]

Sent 12:04

If you didn't show up she knew for sure that you had left her behind forever. If you did show up then she'd confess to you. So spontaneous. She couldn't keep her feelings away from you for another year because it wasn't healthy and she knew it. She knew she would have to tell you about her feelings sooner or later. And after being without you for a whole ass week and after experiencing the cruel punishment that is being ignored and even thinking you broke your dear friendship off, she knew the time had come for her to finally woman up and confess.

Whilst she was anxiously thinking through why she made such a bold move and possibly ruined any future she had with you, the girl she loved was being lazy and stuffing her face in pillows in front of a TV.

one season of Young Royals later...

Tossed between blankets and an overflow of pillows, your tummy roared like a lion. You hadn't eaten anything yet. Maybe it was time to do something other than numbing your feelings with Netflix and the drinks you had at home? As you stood up you felt heavy. You had moved maximum 100 meters in the past few hours — to go to the bathroom then kitchen and back to the living room — and it had taken a toll on your body physically.

Fuck.

You sat back down on your sofa and brought your phone to view after hours without it.

[6 new messages from Baby Yunanana🍓]

Fuck. The last message was sent so long ago. You looked at your windows. It was dark outside. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. As fast as you physically could, you put on a pair of shoes and a jacket with your aching limbs.

In just a few minutes you were on your way to the closest bus station. The whole bus ride to the river was filled with thoughts putting you down. Your favorite person in the world was sensitive about this stuff and you hurt her. You were supposed to not let your bad mood affect anybody around you. But who were you kidding? Of course something had to go wrong with an idea you constructed and analyzed for four microseconds.

Before you knew it you had arrived at the destination. You were speed walking to the river. You two always went to the exact same spot by the river since it was usually vacant, by some miracle, and had a pretty view of a bridge.

You were naive enough to think that isolating yourself from your bestfriend and your phone would help solve your problems, so you were certainly naive enough to go and check if Yuna was still at your meeting place hours after you were supposed to meet her. What if she wasn't there? What if she was there?

The water was shimmering from the moonlight and next to it was a bench and a thin, tall silhouette. Your eyes widened. Could it be...? Sniffles. That's the sound that came from their direction. You walked closer and could make out the lines of a figure that was all too familiar.

"Baby?"

The silhouette turned around and though it was dark you could see that it in fact was her. You quickly sat down beside her and noticed that a couple of notebooks were scattered on the ground next to a bike. You didn't know what to do, never having seen glad Yuna cry. After another particularly loud sniffle you turned your attention back to her. The light of the moon exposed the redness and tears on her face. For hours she'd been outside and her face was still wet with tears.

"Why are you still out at this hour?"

She choked on her tears and rested her face in her hands, "Because I'm a fool."

"No, you're not a—"

"Why are you here?" she interrupted you.

Touché.

"You told me to meet you if I care about you."

"You come here hours later as if I don't mean anything to you," she hurried out before her voice could crack.

"I'm sorry about that. But if I didn't care about you I wouldn't show up at all," you spoke with a soft tone. The last thing you wanted was to be harsh, especially since you were the reason your best friend was upset.

"Why did you do this to me, 언니?" she looked you in the eyes as if she'd find any answers inside them.

"I promise I didn't do it on purpose. I would never hurt you on purpose," you took her hands into yours, oblivious to how the simple gesture made Yuna a bit hopeful on the inside.

Her hands were so cold it was shocking that she was shaking because of her crying and not because of the ice-like coldness. That's what happens when you're out for hours when there's no sun — or person — to keep you warm.

"I saw the messages 20 minutes ago and got here immediately. I would never purposely ignore you, Baby."

You made sure to use her nickname in almost every sentence you spoke, silently telling her that you don't want to fight. Slowly you brought her hands to your lips and kissed them lightly, five kisses on each hand for every finger. She looked at your lovely action and felt how her tears were slowing down. The kisses didn't make her warm — maybe for a second — but at least they made her feel somewhat better inside.

"I'm so, so sorry you had to be here in the cold," you apologized and kept her hands in yours as an attempt to warm them.

One part of Yuna wanted to continue being mad and make you feel bad for the hurt you'd caused her but the bigger part wanted you to hold her in your arms. She loved you and couldn't stay mad at you for long even if she tried.

"I-It's OK, 언니. At least you're here now," she whispered and looked at your locked hands, admiring the sight since it may never happen again — or maybe she should make sure her hands are cold more often—

You sent her a sorrowful smile and let her head rest on your shoulder, resting your own against it as an instinct, both from being comfortable and tired.

"From now on I will check if I have any texts every hour for you," you said with an exaggerated joking voice to lighten the mood.

She giggled. You weren't even being that funny but you were both tired and sad, so anything even a tiny bit funny was hilarious to both of you.

"What did you want to tell me before, Baby?" you whispered into her fluffy hair and petted it.

Should she tell you how she feels? Should she possibly ruin this? If she told you how she truly felt, would you ever kiss her hands like you did just now? Would you ever touch her this caringly ever again? Would you continue to call her Baby? Or would all of that be gone due to your loyalty to your sweet precious girlfriend Somi?

For hours Yuna had been outside in the cold waiting for the love of her life so she could tell her the truth. But it took time before you, the love of her life, showed up. Too long.

When a person is alone outside with notebooks filled with blank pages to write feelings and stories in, it's easy to let emotions take over. She ended up writing around seven poems. Some poems were really cheesy and written in the spirit of the moment. Some didn't even rhyme. Some were a perfect description of where she was in her non-existing love life.

But they all had one thing in common.

They were melancholic and written from the point of view of a woman who was hopelessly in love with her best friend.

"Nothing. I just wanted to have a picnic with you, 언니. I was just being dramatic to convince you to come despite feeling under the weather," she lied right through her teeth.

That made no sense because you two had never been on a picnic after sunset and Yuna would never lie to make you come see her. But you were tired and desperate to leave the cold outside, so you chuckled lightly, believing her immediately.

"Then where are the snacks?" you asked, confused since the only things around you were notebooks, a bike and water.

"I ate them."

Laughter filled the air; your genuine one and her fake one.

You put your face in her cheek, making her blush (not that you'd notice, since her cheeks were already red from before), "Well, my tummy is a little too thin right now, so let's go somewhere."

"In the middle of the night?" she questioned.

"Yes," you smiled against her cheek and she felt it, making her smile too.

"OK."

You both were still smiling when you were picking up all the notebooks to get ready for the ride. Jokes were thrown here and there. It was as if nothing had happened. You both knew it was a misunderstanding and you valued the friendship with the other too much to put energy into arguing. And you were tired too, so the argument wouldn't even be that epic even if you tried.

"What about your bike?"

"Oh nooo! The buses are always so full now that it's too late to take the subway!" Yuna whined.

"You know what? Since I was a jerk you can go take a warm bus while I ride in the cold," you said impulsively.

"B-But, 언니—" she smiled, flattered.

"B-But nothing," you interrupted her and sat down on the bike. Anyone who had spoken to you knew you were stubborn. She laughed. The little sadness she had left was gone by now. Her cheeks were dry. Still red, but not from crying, now they were red from blushing.

"OK, whatever you say, 언니."

"You brought a transport card right?" you made sure since she came by bike.

"Yes I do~ See you in an hour, 언니," she winked at you and waved with a smile brighter than the moon before running to the bus that just arrived.

You waved back to her and got ready to bike — you definitely needed a head start. But before you started you couldn't help but see something white standing out in the darkness.

It was another one of Yuna's notebooks. You must've been too tired to notice it when you were picking them up. Thankfully the notebook was open or else you wouldn't have noticed it as it had a dark cover. You took it into your hands. To make sure it really was Yuna's you needed to read at least a snippet.

You prayed it was Yuna's because it would be worse if you read a stranger's private thoughts than your best friend's since you already knew all her secrets. The snippet was Yuna's. It was from one of the pages of poems that didn't rhyme, that was very cheesy but depicted how sappy she was feeling and also told her part of the story that you never knew.

i want to feel my best friend's lips on my lips

ugh how much of a cliche gay can i be haha

i don't want her to call me 'baby' only

i want her to call me 'mine'

i want to call her that too

You drop the book on the grass. So that's what she wanted to tell you.

✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦ ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ੈ ✦ ‧₊˚ * ੈ ✦‧₊˚＊* ✦ ੈ ✦

❝ Jenny, darling, you're my best friend

But there's a few things that you don't know of

Why I borrow your lipstick so often

I'm using your shirt as a pillow case

(...)

I've been doing bad things that you don't know about

Stealing your stuff now and then

Nothing you'd miss, but it means the world to me ❞

—chubby cherry; 2013

104 notes · View notes

ramblingoak · 1 year

Text

A Lil Somethin’ Somethin’, Chapter 4: Finally

It is now complete!

(If you need to catch up here are chapters: 1 / 2 / 3 )

An anon prompt wanted Papa and Reader out to dinner...and vibrating panties

Papa Emeritus IV x Female Reader: Smut, Fluff, Slight Voyeurism(?), Vibrating Panties and Copia being a dork. NSFW, 18+ only, MDNI. This chapter is 3,300k words.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

What did a girl have to do around here to get an orgasm?

Honestly after everything you didn’t even want to go to dinner. The only thing you were hungry for was safely tucked away in Copia’s stupidly tight black slacks. The bastard knew it too judging by the little smirks he kept shooting you in the car.

On the drive over you had both been quiet, the only sound was Copia softly singing along to ABBA. Terzo’s car was as luxurious as you could expect. Italian leather (a dark, rich purple of course) and every amenity possible. You couldn’t help but daydream about Copia stretching you across the bench seat and finally giving you the release you had been begging for all night.

Thankfully the vibrator had remained quiet the whole drive over. The little break was nice and you were able to clean up your makeup a bit. Copia had pulled into a dark corner of the small lot behind the restaurant and wasted no time getting out and coming around to open your door for you. Despite the torture he’d put you through you did love seeing him enjoying himself.

Even if it was at your expense.

As you were both regulars here you had been looking forward to your usual quiet booth away from everyone else. Maybe you could finally get Copia’s skilled fingers back on you (or in you). It wouldn’t be the first time you two had taken advantage of being away from prying eyes here. With the amount Copia left as a tip each time they probably wouldn’t even bat an eye if he bent you over the table in the middle of dinner.

Copia had other plans though, before the hostess could bring you to your booth he had stopped and pointed to an empty table in the middle of the restaurant. “Actually cara mia, could we sit here? I’d like to enjoy the atmosphere tonight. Per favore.” You dug your nails into his hand and glared daggers at him but he just brought your hand up and gave it a quick kiss on the back.

When you sat down and immediately jumped back up due to the vibrator starting again you felt like flipping the table. You could feel people’s eyes on you and you tried to stay calm to not embarrass yourself any further. When you looked at Copia he was sitting there with that stupid smile and it took every ounce of self control you had to not grab a fork and dig his eyes out.

What you needed to do was to get him to lose his patience. If you could get Copia to need it as badly as you did then this whole thing would end. You two could go home and have lots of orgasms and then order Chinese food. Everyone wins, but most importantly you could take these fucking panties off.

You almost felt bad because you had promised him. Even though it was at your expense you loved seeing your Papa have fun. To see him smile and laugh and not look tired and stressed from a long day of being in charge. You loved him so much you wanted him to have more days like this. Just maybe with less vibrators next time.

He caught you staring at him and you could see a little bit of pink appear on his cheeks. Your sweet Papa, he had so many sides to him. You were lucky you got to see the cute side, the side that made him blush when you complimented him. Your soft smile started turning into a frown when you saw his hand reach into his pocket again. His blush was gone and the smug look he’d worn most of the day was back.

Ok, time to change tactics.

The waiter wandered over and you slid your attention to him. When the buzzing started against your clit you weren’t surprised and were able to stay still despite the stimulation it was providing. You smiled up at the waiter and glanced at the bottle of wine in his hand, an idea suddenly popping into your mind.

“Welcome to Giuseppe’s, would you like to try a free sample of the house wine?”

“Yes, please!” You eagerly held your glass up and was pleased to see that the sample was more than a sip. Not bothering to wait for Copia you brought it up to your lips and downed it, taking a moment while the rim was still sitting against your lip to prepare your next move. Okie dokie, now or never.

The moan you let out wasn’t particularly loud or long, but you did try to put a little extra oomph behind it. You didn’t think it was anything fancy but Copia spit his wine back into his glass and the waiter seemed frozen in place. You giggled and gazed up at the waiter and watched as his cheeks reddened.

“I’m sorry, this was just so good! Do you think I could maybe have one more tiny sip?” You held the glass out and rested your chin on your other hand. He coughed and seemed all too eager to pour you another. This one went down about the same and you were pleased to see that Copia still hadn’t bothered to take another drink of his.

The waiter cleared his throat again and muttered something about giving you more time with the menu before he took off. You ran a finger around the rim of the glass and looked over to see Copia still staring at you.

“Enjoying the wine, dolcezza?”

“Yes, it was very good.”

“It wasn’t that good.”

You shrugged and looked down at the menu. Copia could stew about that for a little bit. The longer he spent trying to figure your game out the harder time he’d have remembering his own. He muttered something under his breath but you ignored it and tried to pick an appetizer out. Something that you could really draw out eating and moaning over.

The rest of the dinner went similar to the wine tasting. The mozzarella sticks were a big hit with both Copia and the waiter. By the time your toasted ravioli showed up Copia was even forgetting to turn the vibrator on. Each bite, sip and swallow was followed by any noise you could think of. Your moaning had not only Copia and the waiter sweating but you had the attention of most of the tables around you. You could tell Copia was reaching his limit, he had told the waiter to leave the awful wine and he had finished most of it himself at this point.

“Would either one of you like dessert? We have a lovely chees–.”

“No. The check, please. Per favore.” You used your napkin to hide your smile but you knew Copia saw it when he snorted and shook his head fondly. At least you hoped it was fondly. He looked about ready to throw you over his shoulder and storm out without paying, but he kept his composure and gave his card to the waiter. As soon as he came back Copia grabbed the card and was up and out of his seat, gently taking your elbow and leading you outside.

“But Copia I wanted some cheesecake!” He pinched your butt and you yelped.

“You little minx.” You giggled as Copia practically dragged you across the parking lot back to the car. “Teasing your Papa like that. You know what those noises of yours do to me.” When you got to the car he pulled you against him and gave you a hard kiss, swiping his tongue inside your mouth quickly before pulling away to unlock the car. He raised an eyebrow when he saw your nose scrunched up.

“You taste like that awful wine.” Copia snorted while he got the door open and then started gently pushing you to get inside.

“Made a lot of noise over awful wine.” You gave him a quick grin and then slid across the seat and started putting the seatbelt on. “Not yet dolcezza.” When you looked back at him he was beginning to unbuckle his belt.

“Copia, no! Let’s go home first!”

“No one will see us, I can’t wait any longer.” The belt was hanging loose and he was sliding his zipper down. “I need to fuck you. Now.”

“You’re not fucking me in Terzo’s car.” You bit your lip to stop from laughing at the exasperated groan he made. He practically had his pants at his knees already. “Can’t you wait a little longer, Papa?” Ok now you couldn’t hold in your laughter, the look on his face was priceless.

“Dolcezza, are you teasing your Papa again?” You covered your mouth with a hand to try to hide your laughter. Especially when he’d wiggled his pants all the way down and kicked them off. “How about I promise you get to have a day where you can do whatever you want to me.” You squealed when he dove across the seat and started biting at your neck. Copia could be so silly sometimes, even still after becoming Papa.

Partly why you loved him so much.

“Stop slobbering all over me you idiot.” You playfully pushed your knee against his cock and gave him an innocent smile when he jerked out of the way. “Whatever I want, huh?”

“Anything.”

“Deal. Showtime handsome, let’s go!”

Copia snorted and grabbed your knee when you tried to rub it against his cock again. His hand slid slowly down your thigh until it disappeared under your dress. You took a deep breath when he didn’t even pause in its journey to your cunt.

He sat up quickly, keeping a hand on you and then slipped his other in his jacket. “Oh no Copia ple—“. You stopped when he clicked his tongue at you. Pouting when you groaned and let your head fall back onto the seat and threw an arm over your eyes.

“Oh my poor dolcezza, it’s been a long day hasn’t it?”

“Yes! I would like an orgasm now please.” You didn’t even lift your arm to look at him. To see that smug face of his that you’d been looking at practically all day. You didn’t even flinch when the little vibrator started again, a low gentle buzz. Whatever, you were over it.

Copia shifted his hand and the vibrator moved right over your clit. He slowly rubbed it in a small circle, letting it tease around the little nub in a perfect rhythm. You bit your lip when he turned it up higher. Despite having dealt with it all day it felt very nice when it was hitting you just right.

“Mmm yes, there we go dolcezza. This feels nice doesn’t it? I’ll take care of you just like I promised.” Your lip escaped your teeth when he slid his hand so the heel was keeping the vibrator on your clit and his fingers were able to slip inside the panties and rub around your entrance.

“Oh fu—, Papa!”

“Poor thing, you’ve been wet all day haven’t you? Just waiting for me to fill you with something.” His fingers stopped circling and he pushed two of them right into you. The arm over your face flung out and you gripped the back of the seat.

He was looking down at your soaked cunt and you could see the hunger in his eyes. The teasing was over and you started panting as the vibrations climbed even higher. He pulled his hand out of his jacket pocket and used it to tease your clit with vibrator while the fingers on his other hand continued to pump in and out of you.

You could hear the slick sounds of his fingers even over the tiny device. A third finger joined in and the sounds you were making could probably be heard from inside the restaurant. Copia twisted his fingers just right and rubbed them against the spot inside of you and you saw stars.

“Oh, Copia! Oh, yes right there!” He started moving them faster, rubbing harder and with a few more pumps you were gone. It felt like your world was imploding. All the tension from the day rushing out of you.

You whimpered when he slid his fingers out and gasped when the little vibrator was pulled away as he tugged the panties off. It was a little awkward to maneuver your legs with him right in the middle but Copia was good at manhandling you from months of practice.

Your eyes lazily opened but you groaned and rolled them back closed when you watched him bring the panties to his face and sniff them. He chuckled and you peeked them open to watch him drop them behind the front seat.

“Don’t forget they’re back there.”

Copia scoffed, and ripped his jacket off before dropping it back there too. “He’ll never notice, you should see some of the stuff back here.”

“Oh?” Well that was interesting, you tried to sit up to get a look but Copia snapped his fingers and pointed for you to lay back down. You narrowed your eyes at him but obeyed, crossing your arms over your chest instead.

“I’m not finished dolcezza, we can explore Terzo’s toys later.” He laughed when you wrinkled your nose. You watched him hook one of your legs over his shoulder and he started mouthing at the side of your knee, slowly following the path his hand took before.

“You know we can just…get on with it.” Copia’s head jerked up from where it was already between your legs.

“Eh? What?”

You sighed and reached down to run your fingers through his hair. “It’s just been a long day, ya know?” You tried not to laugh at his bewildered look. “I’m just saying that we can finish things up. We don’t need to do any extra stuff.”

“Extra stuff?”

“Yes, extra stuff! Just, just fuck me. I have been waiting for you to fuck me all day.” He hadn’t moved and seemed like his brain was almost having to reboot like his ancient desktop needed to do multiple times a day. “So…fuck me.”

“Extra stuff?”

“Don’t get me wrong, it's very nice!” He moved his head back when you tried to comb his hair again. Oh someone was in a mood now. “Copia, you are very good at it but let’s save it for another time, ok?”

He looked down at your cunt and squinted his eyes for a moment. “This hasn’t happened to me before.”

“I’m sorry, how about you just put your very nice dick to good use instead, ok?”

“I like the extra stuff.”

“I know.”

“I’m good at it.”

“You’re the best Papa, I told you this last week.” You were starting to feel a little bad, the man was practically pouting. This is what he gets for teasing you for hours on end though, you were tired. Still, you hated being the cause of that pitiful pout of his. “How about you fuck me now and tomorrow you can eat me out as long as you want?”

Copia looked up at you from where he was idly tracing patterns along your thigh. “You promise?” Oh Satanas, now he had the puppy dog eyes.

“I swear Papa, you can do whatever you want to me tomorrow.” His pout instantly transformed into a grin and you immediately realized your mistake. “No! Copia that’s no–”

Your words were lost when he was on you once more, stealing your breath with his kisses. His fingers started to slide along your entrance again. Rubbing you in that perfect way that always got you wet and ready for him. “So good for me, always such a good girl for your Papa.”

You pulled your mouth away to whine when his fingers left you, but it turned into a moan when you felt his hard cock sliding over your cunt. He started moaning himself when it caught on your entrance, the tip slowly pushing in as he flexed his hips back and forth.

“This is what you want, si? You want my cock.” You nodded frantically and wrapped your legs around his waist to try to pull him further inside of you. He chuckled and indulged you, pushing in deeper and deeper until his hips were flush with yours.

The stretch was exquisite, it always was no matter how well he prepared you. He leaned his head down to rest his forehead against yours and gave you a soft smile. You knew what he was asking and nodded your head. A gentle kiss was your only warning before he pushed himself up and grasped your hips in a tight grip.

Then he finally (finally) started fucking you.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

It was one of the first things you did when you both got back to the abbey. After a hot shower and some reheated leftovers you both got into bed, Copia falling asleep almost immediately. You were still a little wired and had an idea that you needed to look into. A way to pay your Papa back for such a lovely day. When you saw it you knew it was perfect. You were also pretty sure he’d agree to it, he did say “anything” after all.

Maybe you two should be more specific about these things in the future.

After his gift arrived a few days later you wrapped it carefully in a little gift bag and brought it into the office with you. Secondo seemed curious but when you told him he would regret knowing he rolled his eyes and ignored you for most of the morning. Whatever, like his nightstand wasn’t full of all manner of sex toys.

When it came time for lunch you grabbed the bag and strolled out and across the hall to knock on his door. Before you could it swung open revealing a very agitated Terzo storming out of Copia’s office. You raised an eyebrow but he just hissed at you and wandered down the hall.

You made sure to close and lock the door behind you before walking towards your Papa. He held his arms out for you and you set the gift on his desk before sliding into his lap. “What’s wrong with him?” Copia glanced up at you and smiled, wrapping his arms around you.

He groaned as you settled in his lap, the groan getting deeper when you wiggled your hips against his crotch. “I might’ve forgotten a few things in his car.” You snorted and hid your head in Copia’s neck. Well that explains the attitude, poor Terzo. Copia started to slide a hand up your leg and under your habit before you stopped him.

“Wait, Papa, I have something for you.” The pleased look on his face made your heart skip a beat and you could see his blush even through all that paint of his. You bit your lip as he started to pull out the tissue paper and rustle around for what you had gotten him.

“What’s the occasion?” Immediately after he asked he paused and you could see his brain trying to work out what he was looking at. He slowly pulled out a pair of silk boxers that were the same color as the panties he had gifted you a few days ago.

“Well, you did promise me that I could do whatever I wanted to you, right?” Copia had set the panties down in his lap and then reached in for the second item.

“Dolcezza, uh, this is for me?” You smiled and helped him open the plastic around the neon blue object. The little remote fell out and into your lap and you lifted it up to waggle it in front of his face.

“My turn, Papa.” You turned the vibrating plug on with the remote, laughing when Copia yelped and dropped it.

~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~ ~~~

my masterlist

my ao3

#my fics #my writing #papa emeritus iv x female reader #copia x female reader #papa emeritus x reader #papa emeritus iv fanfiction #copia fanfiction #the band ghost fanfiction #papa emeritus iv #ghost fanfiction

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safetycar-restart · 1 year

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hi!!! ive sent all the Logan asks but i have more thoughts to add after thinking some more. so logan and oscar have known each other their like entire youth racing career and i had this idea in my head that logan and oscar sub together sometimes. you also said in one of ur posts that logan has been with his dom the longest so on that note what do you think their routine is, bc we’ve established that charles is a subby little thing and Pierre is more of a “let me do my own thing”, so what do you think logan is cuz i kind of see him being like attached but in like a possessive way yk? anyways have a wonderful rest of your day/night. Xx

*deep breath* LOGAN AND OSCAR!!! I’m obsessed. I have so many thoughts.

So yeah even with this, you and Logan have been together for a very long time. Oscar genuinely can't remember a time where you weren't with Logan. Logically he knows he's known Logan since before you two got together, but it doesn't feel like there's ever been a time where you and Logan weren't a couple, where you weren't Logan's dom.

Logan hates going out without you, will spend the whole evening grumbling about how much he misses you and he quite literally threw a drink at a poor dom who dared to ask him to dance one time. So yeah, needless to say you're always with them when they go out because Logan will be straight up insufferable if you aren't.

Oscar never really minded it, because you and Logan have never been overly coupley. Even when Logan is literally sitting on your lap, you still don't make anyone feel left out.

However, I think Oscar sometimes felt bad around you and Logan, not because of anything the two of you did. But more because he had been trying to find something like what you and Logan have for years and he's been unsuccessful?

He's never had a dom for more than a weeks aside from a team dom, and he's never had a team dom that he really connected with. And then he's faced with you and Logan who have been together for so long that you're practically glued together at this point and Oscar wants that so fucking bad.

Oscar never asks to join you and logan in a scene, because he knows the way you two are. He knows it's not unheard of for friends to scene together, especially if one or both of them are lacking a scening partner. In fact many of his friends had offered before.

But he never imagined he would get an offer from you and Logan, because you two are so obviously made for each other that the mere thought of someone else joining you two is ridiculous.

Maybe Logan finds Oscar in subdrop? Oscar cancels on dinner with him and Logan goes to check on him. He finds Oscar curled up on the floor of his apartment, crying his eyes out and wrapped in a blanket, convinced he's the worse sub ever and completely unlovable. Logan helps him, looks after him as best he can.

And right before he leaves, he makes Oscar promise to come to him if he needs to submit and not go to the dom who did this to him. Oscar is confused, because Logan is a sub too. Logan explains that he means him and his dom, that you and Logan will help Oscar.

Oscar is shocked, both at the fact that Logan is offering this and at the fact that Logan seems confident you'll agree to it.

Logan knows you'll agree because he's discussed it with you many times, toying with the idea of offering Oscar a place in scenes with you because he knows Oscar needs stability. If it were anyone else, Logan would never agree to it. The idea of anyone submitting to you makes his skin crawl, except for Oscar. Oscar can do it.

You're convinced Oscar will never agree to it, until one night a few months later when you are out with Logan and some friends, including Oscar. You and Logan are cuddling in the booth, sharing a gin and tonic (as in, drinking from the same glass because you got one and Logan wanted one but didnt want to move) when Logan spots Oscar dancing with a dom. Which is fine, he's a grown man. He can do that.

But then the dom starts kissing Oscar right on the dance floor, kissing him hard, wrapping a hand around his throat. Instantly you and Logan are both on alert, because no dom should do that without discussing it first and Oscar clearly just met this guy.

Oscar comes back to the booth a few minutes later, looking very disheveled and Logan relaxes, thinking that now he's back and safe. Except he only came to grab his phone and keys and tells you both he's going home with a dom he met.

Logan grabs his wrist, standing up from your lap and pulling him closer.

"Come with us," Logan tells him, "don't go with that dom, we both know it's dangerous. We'll help you, please."

To your surprise, Oscar agrees and you end up with two subs that night.

After that, Oscar joining you and Logan happens more and more. He never says much, never explains why he needs this or whether he has a new dom or not.

But there's this unwritten agreement that you and Logan are his most permanent scene partners, even as he bounces from dom to dom outside of that.

#d/s au #sub!logan #sub!oscar #oscarp #lsargeant #nsfw.#gn!reader #poly!Logan/oscar

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lacunasbalustrade · 1 year

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Gao Mikado: never expecting any of the beauty that takes you by force, morning waves lapping against the shore of an Irish beach, the aroma of eggs sizzling with butter in a pan, touching someone's soft, cold hand and feeling the warmth transfer between you two like an iv line, sinking into a fluffy bed radiating warmth after a long day, putting your achy head on the table in class. you're so so tired all the time but you know somewhere in your heart that you'll never get these days back. you're making the best of them however you can, "i know you always do your best."

Noboru Kodo: sugar caramelising brown in an oven, waiting for someone until you get the sinking realisation that they stood you up, lazy rainy afternoons under a grey sky, sitting cross-legged with one knee up and being scolded by your mom for looking like a gangster, breathing the taste of minty fir sap in a cooling forest, in a dark room with someone's back to yours confessing every mistake both of you ever made, with embarrassed laughs. backing out of a convenience store queue because there are too many people, "if i could have been born with your courage life could've been so much easier."

Zanya Kisaragi: always on your toes for something that you can't quite understand why you expect, the same familiar street at twilight when everyone returns to their houses and turns on the lamps, the texture of green tea against your dry tongue, dipping your fingers into the swimming pool to check the temperature and feeling the warmth flee from your blood, waking up tangled in your bedspread, clicking noise from stapling paper together briskly. you have something to do later and you're looking forward to it, "you're an inspiration, okay?"

Jin Magatsu: waking up with an unstoppable headache. bumping into pointy cabinets and having to reach too far to grab your throbbing foot with two hands. the flavour of cotton candy melting on your face around your mouth. someone wipes it off for you with the back of their cardigan covered hand. blackberry-infused tea (coffee is for lowlifes), the best time you swear by is naptime on another tiring Monday after work, never quite judging but always perceptive of how those around you feel towards anything, good natured sarcasm, "tell me how I got this lucky again?"

Tetsuya Kurodake: the buzzing sound you get in your head when you've listened to your headphones on max volume for far too long, little packets of vitamin enhanced milk and the crinkly sound wrapping makes when you tear it off, bright cel shading on a hand-drawn animation sheet, forgetting to pick your clothes off the floor in the morning after you left them there last night, vacuuming dust from underneath your bed and nearly choking from the bunnies, maybe a little bit afraid of being inferior at the things you love, "promise me we'll still have tomorrow."

Raremaro Tafudonokimi: traditional kimono. perfectly arranged bouquets, tissue flowers, expensive art that was made by some amateur on eBay. watching run-of-the-mill animation and trying to think of deeper meaning behind it. playing an instrument so badly birds drop from the trees. a gentle late afternoon, even so you complain about how hot it is. small yapping dogs, feeding breadcrumbs to the pigeons, not really sure if anyone looks up to you despite how hard you try, always bluffing your way out of real challenges, "you know, you're not such a bad presence after all."

Kanata Ozora: switching on the stove. it's too hot to stay in your blanket fort although all your air conditioners are on, so you crawl out on your hands and knees only for all the pillows to come crashing down. the way oatmeal slides down your throat like a raw egg. rain off fresh leaves smells so good that you have ten planters on your kitchen window ledge. mini bonsai trees. not really knowing what makes someone so beautiful but wanting to keep them anyways, forever. "why are you so afraid of yourself? you're so much more than i could ever have hoped for!"

Shosetsu Kirisame: stoic apologies. clean washing folded neatly, the warmth of clothes after they come out from the machine, misty showers with wet floors. In the daylight around nine, it's so peaceful and quiet, just the ideal time to get into some studying. open windows, no emoticons ever, the way air tastes in your lungs when you inhale really deep, how satisfying it feels to squirt toothpaste onto the bristles, looking back and wishing you could slap your self-centred egoistic teen self. "if i could do life over again, there are a lot of things I'd change. but I'd never change you."

Keisetsu: chilled pillows against your head. folding your hands behind your back and crossing your fingers. danger at every streetlight (but at least you know it's coming), that moment in the dead of night when you bolt upright panting and not knowing what woke you. you've never had any dreams, awake or sleeping, except for wanting somewhere to belong to, somewhere you can be an irreplaceable part of a world. team player at heart. pastel macarons in between your teeth, cherry sauce scent, ozone depletion under your belt, "i'm hopeless. can't even make you want me."

Shusui Kanehebi: breakdancing and rap music with terrible lyrics and too many curse words. pessimistic social media messages, gulping down fruit smoothies in one go, the taste of adrenaline in your throat when you smell the hunt on the wind. calling someone close to you eight times is a daily routine just for laughs and more often than not they block you until you apologize through a mutual. waking up sleepily and walking into your own bathroom door; your roommate screams at you to keep quiet or die by their blade. "maybe i can live with me, but you sure can't, you're too dang perfect."

Sakate Onagashira: museum dates. it's always been second nature to wait for someone else at the bus stop, but you're still single up till now. late night when you're being kicked out of yet another party - where did you take the forked road? There's no specific moment you can trace it back to, maybe you were just meant to be this way whether you wanted to or not. pepper fried rice smells hella good. peeling open durians and pineapples with your bare hands just to show you can, shivering when it gets even slightly cool out, "there's nothing i have for you, don't even try."

Kemura: never seems to be listening but always remembers everything, is the one who pets the elephant in the room whilst everyone ignores it. self-destructive kindness is a thing? actually listens to all those ads instead of skipping past them. 3 am and visiting the nearby food market for snacks before realising that it's closed, you've been playing video games too long. Plays Pokémon Go, keeps potted plants in your room but they keep wilting and you don't know what to do at all. surprisingly good at handicrafts although you might seem clumsy - "Kemura will do his very best!"

Gaito Kurouzu: trying too hard to seem unbreakable. reads latin during lunch break. never wonders why, only wonders how. throws tantrums like an excellent five year old. has a master's degree in planning documents and arranging their calendar, likes chocolate cake but not the low-sugar ones with less butter. the freshly baked pie smell only top-tier bakers can achieve, burst of peeled oranges as you bite through the skin, citrusy detergent on hands, cloudy nights as you wander around the corner for an errand, "don't you dare sneak off without telling me."

Kyoya Gaen: glass windows that you could fall through if you leant hard enough, little lies that you don't mind anymore. love that you deny everyday by acting cruel to it, as if that'll ever change anything. the sound of the door lock clicking behind you (which side are you on?), gentle somber dust against your skin like specks of glitter, scent of moth-eaten paintings, excruciatingly simple pencil sketches, neutralising the things you don't like by not giving them recognition, the childish confidence most of us lost a long while ago, dead sunsets, "maybe we could have worked out in a different universe, 'name'."

Kiri Hyoryu: scarves tucked tightly around your shaking hands. the sharp bite of cinnamon's aroma that brings a pop of colour, humid windy days when you can't see straight for the hair in your eyes but there's always, always someone who grabs your hand and takes you straight where you need to be. soft white cheese against good bread as you chew, making New Year's mochi and Lunar Month mooncakes by hand (the flour dust against your skin), meeting someone you know well after a while and realising somehow you've only become closer, petting cafes, "how did you find me?"

Rouga Aragami: unshakeable confidence; no hesitation. The darkness of the resting warmth in the night sky, jazz tunes in a dark bar, aeroplanes crossing the sky in their white trails like map lines, no drifting just swimming, chewing meat and ripping it straight from the bone, being the shoulder that someone else leans on as tears roll down their face (however silent or loud they sob, it doesn't matter to you), the sound of milk as it's poured into a glass, forehead against another forehead as you whisper-promise to them that it will work out, climbing a tree and realising that you can't get down, "i won't give up on you, no matter how many times you ask me to."

Tasuku Ryuenji: running in the rain as the wind blows droplets straight into your eyes. you're going in the wrong direction but what does that matter? unease. you constantly don't know what to do with yourself. bread rising in the oven and burning away, smoldering quietly. smell the rich coffee from the cold vending machine as you pop open another cup. falling asleep besides a stuffed animal, its fur is clumped together after a long period of usage. falling for the feeling that you've finally become more than just useful to someone, to anyone, you are loved, "i think that family is something you put in front of the world; you are my everything."

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unlimitedhorsepower · 2 years

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been rotating t&b2 cour2 in my mind like a 5D object...

i wanted to write more comprehensive post to air some of my grievances, and of course finally releasing my exclusive statement on my special beast ryan goldsmith.

however when i started to write this i realized i have a shitton of thoughts and could rewrite the entire cour if i really thought about it, so i actually mention most characters in this self-indulgent essay of mine and you can just skim through if you were interested in my thoughts.

i talk a lot of yuri here even if i went into this thinking that ive already talked about him enough, because he fascinates me...

anyhow, here they are, my more comprehensive thoughts under the cut because theyre not spoiler free:

this is unbearably long: ive bolded some key sentences that build up to something if youd like to skim it instead of reading it. i also suggest you using Ctrl+F to find mentions of characters you care about because ive literally mentioned every single character in this in some way and it genuinely is incredibly long and convoluted.

i talk about some characters way more because i wrote those parts earlier and felt more full of energy. i also talk a lot about ryan. perhaps even more than he deserves! but he is my favourite character, youve been warned. i didnt even mean to make him seem so important because hes not, lmfao.

ill say, it can definitely be a bit confusing if its not being read it order but like, meh... i guess it was also more important for me to get my thoughts out so that i can have other thoughts again.

this entire thing got away from me and at many points devolved to me not only ragging on t&b2 but extensively discussing my alternatives which couldve imo built the entire thing into something more worthwhile...

ive added like three screencaps to make it a little more exciting to scroll through, and if i have energy left im gonna add more images to make it less like a huge wall of text, which it is. but right now i just wanna post it because i genuinely spent 10 hours straight writing this and then woke up today and spent another 10 hours writing it.

i think this is my therapy over yuris arc, because that genuinely made me sick. maybe im unreasonable and just pissed off about that specifically, but who knows. not me!

so, to begin... t&b2 cour2.

hmm.

i initially called it “good” and said i enjoyed it besides yuris arc, but that feeling was born from the sheer emotional turmoil yuris death gave me. in comparison, everything else in the cour was fine- great, even!

there can be missteps and flaws that diminish your enjoyment but that are easy enough to fix in your mind, and then theres a misstep of the sort of a character dying after the narrative spends a lot of time giving me what i can only describe as trauma porn.

i already wrote about that here, so ill skip some of the things related to yuri (i just cant get over it... i keep circling back to him throughout this document because hes such a central figure to what we got and what i thought we would get).

cour2 had such a solid basic understanding of characters, but there was just way too much going on at the same time and way too many loose plot threads. cour2 was like building a house of cards on top of a solid brick foundation and expecting it to hold water.

cour1 isnt perfect, but it was pretty good in introducing us to new concepts, new characters (three new heroes to our ensemble cast, one returning talent from the rising who needs less establishing, and the new villains, and more) and the new plot threads, but i also feel that misogyny unfortunately played a great role in who got arcs and what sort of arcs.

season1 isnt perfect either, of course, but one could imagine a sequel follows up tonally with its predecessor and also improves upon it, especially because this has been explicitly suggested by the creators (like improving on nathans portrayal, for example!).

cour2 majorly failed to follow up on the promises of cour1 and the overall promises of what t&b is like in tone and content. there were too many plot threads and too many characters. i wouldve entirely cut out aurora and large parts of yuris/lunatics “arc”. the latter i wouldve tied into LL audun and a greater plotline of mr.legend and heroism.

speaking of mr.legend, yuris hallucinations of him were excessive and felt extremely cheap. i know i said i wouldnt focus on yuri, but i feel like i have to... mr.legends force ghost saying anything will never amount to any healing or retributive action from the man himself, but i felt like i was supposed to feel it was “good” he knew those things.

i felt that the narrative was telling me that indeed, yuri had loved his father once, and he had positive qualities, but i already knew that. i also never doubted that both of his parents had once loved him- its just that those things dont take away from how poorly they treated yuri in the end.

im willing to extend some sympathy to yuris mother, but to mr.legend, never. in one of the mangas mr.legend in the past asks young maverick to wipe his memories of him ever having powers (even though the memories will return to him in due time since thats a major thing to change) so that he can be free of the guilt he feels.

even without that, i already knew that the real mr.legend most likely felt some sense of guilt over his actions, not just the mr.legend force ghost/yuris hallucination.

i know: i simply dont care! he may have been put into a shitty situation and suffered, but it was his choice to hurt others. it was him who used his status to fix fights and beat his wife and child. he was in a position of power, and he took advantage of it to make himself feel better.

side note, alcoholism keeps being equated to evil by it being explicitly referenced with mr.legend and gregory sunshine even if by itself its a taxing addiction and addicts are people who are suffering, not caricaturish evildoers. antonios drinking habits have been equally worrisome sometimes -if you look at his schedule in KOW the rising, he is very much using alcohol to drown his sorrows- and this briefly comes up in cour1.

in cour2, its played up for jokes: antonio took ivan drinking and ivan drank way too much and did funny things while he was drunk (more on this later). antonios just different actually, because hes fundamentally good.

it was shown to us that mr.legend was very active in the match fixing himself... i think it wouldve been more fitting to show child yuri spying on his fathers discussion with maverick trying to suggest it to test the waters of seeing how easy it would be to manipulate mr.legend into it, perhaps about to offer him coffee to signify hes about to change memories if he needs to, and mr.legend jumping on the offer instead of declining it and shattering yuris high opinion of his father.

maverick not being included just reminds me how yuri is somehow a secret child nobody knows about. we remain in the dark on how yuri ended up taking care of his own mother and what he did to attain the position of a judge.

we still dont know the details of who covered up mr.legends death and why and how. it wouldve only made sense it was maverick, but how the hell did he then not know that yuri must be the one with the powerful NEXT power?.. how did he in general not recognize yuri once he became a judge? was he not distrustful?

more importantly, why did he not try to manipulate yuri? wouldnt it have been a huge boon for him to find a vulnerable child who is mr.legends son no less, and to raise him into a tool like he eventually raised barnaby?

i could see that yuris mother olga (i think its officially translated as origa, but its definitely olga) actually protected him back then. after all, he was the only remaining family she had left, even if she too grew to resent yuri at some point for some reason (and somewhat understandable, given how she was portrayed in s1 accepting mr.legends treatment: she had submitted to her fate and become traumatized).

however, olga has calmed down from her potrayal of throwing plates at yuri in s1 and the change happened without explanation but an acknowledgment from the caregiver, and she is never given any depth as to why she could blame yuri so deeply and fervently in some of her more lucid (?) moments.

in cour2, she becomes just a vessel for inflicting more trauma on yuri, and its her only purpose: shes not her own character. shes a woman, specifically a mother, and thats all we need to know about her.

i know that my tinfoil hat theory of gregory sunshine being yuris biological father is implausible at this point after all that talk about hero blood in yuris veins, but it wouldve genuinely given olga much more depth to give her a reason (not a justification) on why shes been so aggressive towards yuri and blames him specifically, if yuri had been an illegitimate child or somesuch. but i wrote about that already in the linked post and its replies.

back to parental figures, i think laras mother zamira was a great character in cour1. shes not a morally good character, no, but i think her portrayal was strong? it was very clear to me that shes treating lara as an extension of herself instead of her own person. she controls her and her life, and she reprimands lara for having thoughts and feelings beyond her control.

it is her who has set lara on this path to heroism, and it is for her benefit. lara is a vessel for her to life through, and this could be easily contrasted with yuri and his burden about being mr.legends son.

however, in cour2 the entire premise is undermined when zamira is proven to “actually care” about lara. if i dont remember wrong, paolin even says that “she reminds her of her own mother”, which i was meant to understand in a positive way. this is presented in tandem with mr.legend(s ghost) somehow “really caring about yuri” in that odd scene they had together.

its also proven that zamira wasnt an unreliable narrator about her prior tennis partner pamela, because we see pamela easily blame NEXT for existing in the news as proof that she is cruel. i get the sense were supposed to think zamira was just sad and trying her best to raise lara and make sure nobody takes advantage of her like she was taken advantage of.

i frankly dont care! she had, undoubtedly, treated lara the way she treats her in cour1 for laras entire life: shes 14. it leaves a lasting mark she can never take back. “im sorry” doesnt even begin to fix it.

i wrote about yuri adopting lara here, so i wont delve into some very specific AU, but it wouldve felt much more reasonable and realistic for lara to be freed from her mother, not even necessarily in the way my pipeline dream describes, in a way that couldve emphasized yuri and his good qualities.

t&b has never been free of misogyny and other issues, but i feel like this cour really brought a lot of those issues to the surface instead of improving on them... instead of a nuanced portrayal of a fractured mother-daughter relationship, we were given something that just felt like underlining the fact that zamira is a mother, of course she cares about lara in more ways than for her own benefit.

zamira is a mother like olga, and thats what we “needed” to know about them in addition to knowing that they experienced trauma that just made them forget about their motherhood for a moment, but we learn that olga cared too, she even made those cookies. their mother-son relationship is similarly glossed over.

lara -like yuri- is done a great disservice in the process of redeeming abusive parents. shes a kid who killed a villain on accident in self-defense in cour1, and it felt significant. cour2 doesnt bring this up as a plot point in any way.

i was imagining her getting a much bigger arc that couldve overall easily tied into revealing mr.legend as a horrible parent instead of being its own distinctly separate arc.

speaking of mr.legend being exposed, it was ridiculous that yuri revealed mr.legends awfulness to kotetsu and barnaby and it fell fully flat due to kotetsus and barnabys reactions, or rather due to their lack of reactions, which was strange for them both.

its realistic enough to have yuri do something like that, even if it was sudden: it feels like he was under a lot of duress and clearly seeking help in any way he could, justifying it to himself in some “logical” reasoning for it because i dont think he would consciously realize he needs and wants someone to believe him.

before i get into that and how i think they shouldve reacted with far more compassion, i want to say that to me its clear that kotetsus career in heroism has led him to neglect kaede, especially in the past when kaede didnt know that her father was a hero. this is brought up a bit in cour1, and for example is prominent in the beginnings additional scene where kaede begs for her father to show up at the ice rink just this once.

the series shows their father-daughter relationship mostly from kotetsus side, so that we know hes trying his best and really wants to be involved in kaedes life but hes genuinely busy, but if you think about it from kaedes perspective, kotetsu hasnt always been a good father to her and kotetsus business doesnt take away from his failings.

misogyny plays a role in this portrayal, and that i cant blame kotetsu for as a fictional character, but the fact that some of his actions are played for jokes and the fact that he continues doing them bother me, like pretending hes doing yoga like kaede suggested and instead of actually doing it. i wish he was more honest with her, even about those little things!

narratively in the rising, again, kaede is forced to adopt a tomoe-like role in encouraging her own father to continue his hero work, which isnt cute to me at all. its extremely emotionally taxing to have to be more responsible than your own parent and give them advice.. in cour2 she is again protecting her father from the truth that his mother is bedridden (nothing, afaik, comes out of that by the way?).

why is kaede protecting kotetsu, and why does she feel the need to do that? shes a child! she should be able to depend on his father, not feel like she has to protect him just because hes a hero.

those things frustrate me about kotetsu and the narrative around him and kaede, because i think this moment especially couldve used to do something about this dynamic and parenting. however, every parenting-related thing in cour2 was atrocious.

kotetsu has flaws and i think he has done wrong despite trying his best (sometimes your best isnt enough!), but he isnt cruel and genuinely does care about kaede, and he cares about others even if theyre not his family (he is a busybody, after all). he is a single father and a widower whose late wife pushed him into hero work, and his old mother supports him greatly, as does his brother.

despite family being so important to kotetsu, he ends up not reacting much to yuris admission that mr.legend beat his wife and child. doesnt that seem like something he wouldve focused on? good-hearted as he is, wouldnt he have been utterly shocked to hear that someone who “saved” him couldve been so thoroughly rotten?

it shouldve shocked him more than match-fixing and clinging to the identity of a hero: imagining himself becoming a cruel parent (and a husband).

i think he shouldve admitted that his own hero career has caused him to neglect kaede, and that he didnt even properly realize until as of late how much it had affected her- that he has flaws too and cant claim to be special or that mr.legend was an outlier, and that he cant imagine how hard it mustve been for yuri to go through that.

it wouldve been far more compassionate of him, and he really has a lot of compassion for others! i refuse to watch that scene again right now so maybe i remember some part wrong, but still: in my opinion he was a dick to yuri, and very defensive about himself. he didnt try to console him, it felt like he wanted to set himself apart as a better person than mr.legend.

i dont understand why he didnt at least try to find yuri after hes stormed off and hes realized that he said stuff yuri probably didnt want to hear? thats a thing kotetsu does all the time: he meddles. he gets things wrong, sure, but he meddles, and pulls people aside to have a chat with them and to try to help (like he later on does with barnaby).

kotetsu believes in heroism and his ideals of heroes, and its also very personal and family-related to him, so for him to be more shocked by mr.legend clinging to his hero image than the abuse part explicitly was a weird narrative choice to inflict more pain on yuri. i dont think yuri felt understood at all.

i think kotetsu wouldve been able to discern the most important part of this: that mr.legend was a bad father and husband, and he shouldve extended compassion to yuri (even if yuri didnt ask for any). thats what he did with barnaby in s1 as well!

just like kotetsus nonreaction to what really mattered in what yuri told the two of them, barnaby didnt have much to say which made the entire scene feel more callous.

its a deliberate choice, and its as odd as kotetsus reaction.

barnaby saw his parents dead in front of his eyes and was taken in by maverick and regarded him as a parental figure he could depend on up until the moment it was explicitly revealed to him that maverick had killed his parents and used him like a tool.

i could understand kotetsu initially being defensive (hearing someone he was “saved” by being thoroughly awful is not easy!) if barnaby had chimed in and snapped kotetsu out of it, which wouldve also played into the idea that people need others to support them and also to “steer them on the right path” so that kotetsu manages to focus on the most important but also the most painful part even if it also hurts him to think about, including admitting to his own failures as a father.

i think barnaby shouldve immediately been sympathetic towards yuri, and it couldve also signified how far he has come from his first appearance in s1 where he explicitly had closed himself off from others, and perhaps even realized that yuri is acting like he once did and is deeply lonely.

his sudden admittance to being mr.legends son is an urgent cry for help!

canonically, the moment started and ended and neither kotetsu or barnaby cared enough to say anything nice or follow after him. i think it was out-of-character, and they were forced to act like that to make sure yuris downwards spiral would continue. it was cruel.

the plot often felt explicitly manufactured towards a certain endpoint instead of feeling natural and in-character, going so far the narrative took explicit steps to prevent certain things from happening.

the “prevention of things” was especially obvious with ryan.

this is going to be long because not only is he my favourite character, but ever since his introduction in the rising he has occupied a specific niche that couldve played into the theme of questioning who really is a hero and why, and what makes a hero.

because karina forms blue golden with ryan, i dont think i can discuss ryans lack of any real arc without bringing her up, especially because karina and ryan have both been positioned as being more of “main characters” than the rest of the supporting hero ensemble, which is why i especially expected more out of them.

karina has been central ever since the pilot of t&b, in which she is featured: she has a lot of connections to kotetsu including her childish crush, and out of all heroes, it is her who kaede calls when she wants to plan something, and ryan was introduced as a main character in the rising and embodies traits from both kotetsu and barnaby, including visually.

to begin with, ryans themes from the rising arent contradicted by cour1 setting him up as having very personal beef with gregory sunshine, the most prominent antagonist because the heroes never properly meet rosicky and LL audun is a last-minute addition (who wouldve deserved more screen time, more on him later).

in cour1, we come to know that gregory caused ryan collapse a building on himself and nobody helped him, his fellow heroes laughing at him before they leave him bleeding underneath rubble. in cour2, we see more of it and that he didnt only get buried underneath large amounts of rubble, but that he majorly injured (or worse) a large amount of civilians as well.

again, im not sure because im not going to rewatch, but i understood it was supposed to be the same instance as the one where his fellow heroes laugh at him, unless its just a nightmare he has that civilians were injured as well.

regardless, he was personally affected by gregory, and he wants gregory to not to run free, and its a fact that hes actually very emotional and acts impulsively under duress, like trying to leave sternbild the moment he thought karina was going to ditch him as a buddy (because he, like yuri, is actually lonely and wants people to understand him but gives up way too quickly).

he also breaks the door into gregorys apartment without a second thought (this is breaking&entering!), and later on we see him yelling and gesturing at blue goldens manager in a quick background scene about their new contracts.

however, his reaction to mattia allegedly ratting them out to gregory is “slightly miffed” at best, even if gregory was so close to being caught by him. it feels unbelievable to me, especially because i think his loud and genuine emotions are his strength but also his potential flaw.

i think he shouldve acted way more unreasonably emotional about it, instead of only bringing up how anyone can betray you at any time. to take a detour to karina for a bit, it was also ridiculous that karina had nothing significant to say to that.

she has difficulties speaking up sometimes, but karina shouldve been allowed to feel personally slighted by ryan after all the buddy hero arcs being about trusting each other.

it seems that she can only be given arcs that revolve around men and not, for example, her feelings about herself and being able to take pride in being a very hard-working hero, idol, and now a friend too, especially when the new manga shows her reoccurring troubles in trying to balance different aspects of her life like studying and being a hero.

it wouldve stung to hear ryan say that like he was brushing her off: did ryan learn nothing, and was he just saying all that stuff earlier to put her at ease instead of being genuine? it also ties into ryans issue of always being genuine but his eccentric personality making him seem fake/suspicious, like in the rising.

his personality felt utterly stagnant in cour2 with smug quips, however, and he was just positioned as “morally good” instead of the narrative allowing him to reasonably continue his arc and meaning for the narrative by going after gregory as a hero even when its against the law.

some of the themes of ryans character pair off with yuris and any arc he couldve been given with gregory wouldve been perfect to compliment an arc with yuri/lunatic, the truth about mr.legend, how LL audun couldve tied into that.

yuri is positioned as a vigilante, even a villain, but hes shown to save kotetsu on-screen, and he follows his code of justice very strictly. we know his reasons to act the way he does, and he is sympathetic. ryan, on the other hand, is positioned as a hero, but he can be kind of a prick and his idea of justice is remarkably lax in some ways. we can make a good guess why he acts like that, and like yuri, he is sympathetic.

they both are characters kotetsu and barnaby know well, and theyre both more severe than the titular protagonists. kotetsu has bent the rules on occasion to act according to his idea of heroism, but in my opinion ryan is set up as someone who would explicitly break rules for his idea of heroism (or lack thereof).

ryan is a good person and very much a hero, but he isnt the flawed but idealistic hero full of passion like wild tiger, or the humble and pure-hearted storybook hero like sky high, hes the egotistical heracles clad in the golden pelt of the slain nemean lion who knows just how good he is (and thats all he has going on for him, that ego of his).

its obvious that he can be a bit selfish: in the rising he uses his gravity dome to not only to save the building, but he traps all the other heroes in it, including pulling sky high from the air. from the movie commentary track ive gotten the idea that he did it on purpose since he can control the height of the dome he creates.

he also stretches out his dome later, so it begs the question if it was ever necessary to get any of the other heroes trapped in it to begin with.

he does save that building and the civilians within and causes no significant harm because he really is good at being a hero and hes not evil, but the narrative shows that he doesnt treat heroism like the heroes of sternbild do: he lacks the same sense of honorable justice our sternbild heroes have.

being a hero is first and foremost his career, which is why he brings up that “the money is good”, and because hes positioned as an experienced hero, he mustve started out as a child, given that he is younger than barnaby (even if in my opinion is not so much younger than he is).

the rising is strongly themed around justice day and the myth, and its also about him seeing the heroes of sternbild care about each other and their bonds with each other, instead of them all regarding each other as competition like hes used to people treating him, given how unbothered he is by figuring out barnaby didnt only distrust him but outright suspected him of being a villain.

due to seeing the bonds of the heroes of sternbild, he starts to “carry a heart of justice” as per the myth. barnaby suspected that he is a villain and the goddess of the story even if he ended up being more like the people cast aside by the goddess for their selfishness.

in the end he makes a choice: he can stay and keep the central bond between kotetsu and barnaby broken, or he can leave and mend the bond his hiring caused and bring the two of them back together as a duo. in the last shot, the winged lion of apollon media faces away from the camera like the way ryan leaves, while the justice tower smiles.

justice was enacted and she approves of it, and funnily ryan never thought that he could be a part of these bonds which is why he wholly leaves sternbild. in his KOW the rising schedule he meets up with a lot of people but theyre all just acquantaices, and he talks with his iguana. he moves around a lot, its in his title of the “wandering gravity prince”.

he lacks bonds like yuri lacks them, but by giving him a buddy partner in t&b2, he becomes more of a part of sternbild heroes, but its not just going to change who he has grown into overnight.

its intentional that ryan has wings on his hero suit like the ones the goddess is portrayed with, and the rest of his imagery plays into the this theming of the goddess/the sun while echoing kotetsus “tiger”.

lions are associated with the sun, even the zodiac sign leo is ruled by the sun. royals and gods have been linked to the sun in many places, so his old hero suit and title play into it. gold, similarly, echoes this sentiment.

in the opening, ryan “sun” is composed of the streets of the city and missing its center where the sponsor is displayed, but knowing the legend, its where the city was caved in, and it uses the same colours as the illustrated parts of the legend of justice day (in which the sun is displayed similarly, and yes, if you disagree on it looking like the sun, you could be right, perhaps that part is a coincidence.)

yuri is shown in the opening of the rising as well, his slide after ryans and his red moon the central piece of his background and juxtaposed with ryans hollow sun.

and i want to be clear, ryans background changes into a sky full of stars before yuris slide is displayed, which also makes sense for ryan because the heroes of sternbild are portrayed as stars more than once (and its funny for ryan to be the sun because the sun is just a star, its just closer to earth. hes not special, hes just loud about it).

its also significant to me that all heroes are portrayed with slides with a side-view of buildings in the background whenever applicable, even keith who can literally fly: it is ryan who has a momentary birds-eye view.

its the opposite of yuris, in which the lines around his red moon are buildings as if someone was looking upwards from the ground and also somewhat echoes the parts, including colour-wise, where the people are trapped in the cave by the goddess.

lunatic features prominently in the rising once yuri figures whats going on, and kotetsu gets to talk to him about how hes trying to save virgil/andrew from the burden of having killed and whatnot. the entire movie is themed around a holiday called justice day and showing mercy and who deserves mercy and why?

i genuinely thought that ryan being brought back indicates that tiger&bunny continues to question what being a hero really means, by giving the titular protagonists and the narrative someone to contrast with lunatic while ensuring kotetsu and barnaby can stay on the side of “good”/heroes for the sake of them being the main characters.

it wouldve been a purpose fulfilled for ryan to go against the law and becoming a vigilante because of how badly he wants to catch gregory: he has a huge personal reason to do so.

instead of the narrative following the logical conclusion of ryan going rogue due to how badly he wants to see gregory out of the streets, we get a scene specifically to explain why ryan cant follow through with the logical next step of his arc?

what a waste of everyones time, and i get the sense that the writers understand how strongly ryan feels about it (the foundation is there!) because it required both the company owner and manager to hang karinas fate over his head to ensure he doesnt just go on his merry way.

(i dont, by the way, understand that scene, and i cant bear to look at t&b2 scenes again... if you can explain it to me, then please do lol. like i specifically dont understand why ryan doing anything would cause harm to karinas privacy.)

not only wouldve it been meaningful for the entire narrative and ryan, this couldve so easily been used to give karina a satisfying arc that also shows that she is just as capable and deserving of an arc as the guy heroes of the cast, especially as the most prominent woman hero. now, instead, she ends up being a plot device to make ryan feel one way or another.

even if blue goldens buddy arc included ryan realizing that he doesnt need to protect karina, it was immediately undermined by “protecting karina” being his only reason to not go rogue to find gregory?

instead of letting ryan go rogue and giving karina agency in going after him by his own choice, we get that. what was the point?

one buddy pair explicitly going against the (unjust!) law couldve served to put lunatic in a different light and interrogate the hero system as a whole, and it wouldve make sense for it to be blue golden due to their proximity to the titular main characters.

realistically i imagine ryan would have enough respect for karina to tell her beforehand what hes about to do, but unaccustomed to working together with people, he would imply that hes going alone and karina puts her foot down about it: shes not going to stop him, but shes not letting him go alone, because shes going with him.

it is her decision, and it gives her agency and an active role.

they cant have a character essentially say “yeah misogyny and gender roles and that shit is kinda fucked up” and then follow it up with Absolutely Nothing and also give karina an another arc about her crush on a man.

karinas potential as a character is squandered time and time again. in s1 its incredibly easy to miss that shes almost always the 2nd on the hero leaderboard because more attention is paid to her funny moments like her “cutie escape” and general fanservice which is awful by the way, considering that for the most part of it she is a child.

its also realistic for the idol industry, and at times the show comes close to making some sort of commentary out of it but it never quite manages, in no small part because karina is never allowed to really shine.

either way, shelving the heroes couldve been more impactful for muddying the waters about the hero industry. the cartoonishly evil interference from the cops only serves to promote the view that the heroes are acting Morally Good because theyre being hindered by not the hero system and the law but the individually selfish police chief and ouroboros interference, and serves to imply lunatic is definitely Morally Bad for acting outside of the law.

it is eventually agnes who “gets everyone to break the law, together!”, and it undermines any reasonable narrative meaning for the entire thing and makes it feel like our heroes couldnt be heroes for a bit for the sake of a meaningless and boring shock twist included for some shock value because nothing really comes out of it.

having blue golden go rogue and the police going after them wouldve forced their hands into actually fighting against non-heroes and the law, not just being on the run while they try to find gregory. ryan and karina could cause significant infrastructure damage very easily to make sure the police dont catch up, and it wouldve been easy to summarise it as collapsed roads frozen over.

while i wouldve in this hypothetical scenario loved an extensive focus on this because ryan is my favourite, i think the whole “going rogue” part couldve been conveyed without taking up an absurd amount of screentime, and couldve easily been condensed for time by having the other heroes watching a news segment about it which wouldnt have felt an out-of-place gimmick given that heroTV exists as a central thing and the fact that this has happened more than once in t&b...

kotetsu and barnaby, and the rest of the heroes could be watching a live feed, and surprised to spot ryan and karina on the run because its unlike they wouldve announced thi. our hero ensemble, especially the protagonist pair, would know that theyre not evil and that they definitely havent turned against the people of sternbild, no matter that theyve now been labeled dangerous NEXT vigilantes.

they couldve been compared to lunatic, which is a very overt way to make the hero ensemble question lunatics status as a vigilante both loved, hated and feared by the general public.

it would be ridiculously easy to play up ryans “evilness” by including a reporter from that introductory press event in the rising where he just randomly used his power on all people in the room to introduce himself (why did he do that. hes so quirky and random.), and then another shot from the rising where he traps all heroes in the gravity dome and thats feels like proof enough? they couldve also recycled the animation.

the narrative couldve made a statement on positioning medias reaction to the beloved idol blue rose on the run as “ryans bad influence” instead of granting her agency, and maybe some of the heroes couldve thought that as well, leaving it to someone else (most likely kotetsu because he is our main character!) to remark that karinas not the type of person to let ryan talk her into this sort of thing and that she mustve instead agreed with him.

having ryan on the hunt for gregory feels natural, but it couldve also been meaningful for karina.

another established thing about gregory is that hes a fucking creep. and karina has dealt with creeps her entire life due to being objectified idol. in cour1, we see that guy trying to hug karina “just this once!”, and it wasnt made into as much of a big deal as it shouldve been because we focused on ryans feelings instead.

that wouldve been fine if it was brought up again, and its utterly wild to me that it feels like they perfectly paved the way for karina to have some sort of arc with gregory herself with ryan bringing up “hug the gregory”, but then the show entirely bailed on it? why the hug theme, then?

it couldve been plot-relevant for karina and the narrative to question what being a hero means for her when her career in heroism has notably led her achievements being belittled in favor of “cutie escape" -moments and even now the media thinks shes out here because of “ryans influence” and not her own choice.

frustrated karina affirming the media somehow that shes doing this for her sense of justice, not because of ryan when some civilian fan of hers tries to save her, the poor little girl, from this vigilante escapade: what wouldve yuri thought of that?

to give karina cool moments wouldve been more impactful and couldve been plot-relevant instead of the disjointed ~girlboss moments~ of rosicky telling gregory to stop being a creep which equated to so little when rosicky is also killed by gregory.

capturing gregory couldve meant something, not been a footnote, and by showing us that fight with blue golden and gregory, they couldve showed us what they half-heartedly tried to show with the quick LL audun fight scene, with karina being the one who ends up protecting ryan after he was knocked out first?

ryan doesnt even need to have his skull caved in like that, all they wouldve had to do is to give ryan a reason to use his power and not be able to let go by having to continue holding something down with his gravity, calling back to barnaby accidentally letting him get knocked unconscious because he wanted to save schneider, except karina actually saves him.

in the process of capturing/pursuing gregory, karina wouldve had a reason to give us some sort of opinion on what she thinks about creeps without it being shoehorned in and how she has to tolerate them because theres so many loopholes in the law but finally, gregory is the one she can fight back against and its because now other people agree that hes evil!

also i genuinely think ryan wouldve loved to not only capture him but to beat the shit out of gregory because he really is different than our heroes from sternbild (and i think he wouldve been justified to do so too, lol).

to exemplify the themes of bonds, karina couldve stopped him but remarked that she feels like gregory wouldve deserved it, and she couldve vocally acknowledged shes having doubts on whether lunatic is so wrong or not, because has anyone or the hero industry itself ever really protected karina from creeps? no!

lunatic is actually making some sort of point when he kills a guy who is a serial killer of women? a bit drastic but hey. it works. that guy cant kill anyone ever again.

it would mean so much for karina to acknowledge that there indeed is something wrong with the hero industry as it exists now and heroes and heroism isnt just “morally good” by default, which also begs the question whether vigilantes etc are ontologically evil by default.

and personally, i dont think ryan would disagree with her? he is well-traveled and has seen so much more than just sternbild: im sure he has met corrupt heroes and heroes who arent even nice or “good”. im sure some places have very fucked up hero systems?..

they couldve made both ryans and karinas arcs mean something by having them face off against gregory (ive been talking of capturing, but they wouldnt even had to been successful and instead gotten captured by the police themselves or been forced to retreat), and it feels so obvious to me?

both members of blue golden wouldve gained something out of it, the overall plotline wouldve gained something out of it, and the setup of the plot wouldve benefited?

the viewer would also know that gregory deserves anything coming for him regardless of the media/public opinion because he is a freak, and the heroes too could explicitly acknowledge that maybe theyve been too harsh on lunatic by not trying to understand him like how blue golden is now misrepresented by the media without any grace? is lunatic just a killer, or... he does keep talking about that justice, after all.

both ryan and karina have interacted plenty with our protagonist pair, so it wouldve served well to draw kotetsus and barnabys attention to it. continuing to question lunatics “evilness” feels so central!

some of the children already said in the cour1 in that that law class of yuris that they thought lunatic was really protecting them and kotetsu was there to hear it, and then nothing came out of that? are you fucking kidding me? he was just like nope, wrong! its evil, end of story.

its like they were given the perfect foundation to do something interesting and valuable, and they didnt end up do any of that just to punish yuri for daring to exist in the way they forced him to exist since t&b is who made yuri the person who he is... but anyways.

yuri is prominently featured in cour2 for all of the wrong reasons, but his prominence couldve been interesting instead: he couldve been standing there looking over the heroes reacting to two of their friends gone rogue and given a cryptic statement on how it seems theyre no different than lunatic in the eyes of the public now that theyre pursuing their own brand of justice...

and everyone couldve been like alright director petrov:)! but also genuinely considered this while yuri is just there, observing the discussion and wondering how their bonds with the two new vigilantes makes it harder for them to be so sure who is a villain to be stopped and who is not.

unrelated to things i think explicitly realistic or in line of t&bs spirit, if i could choose i wouldve also had ryan and lunatic interact.

i think it wouldve been in-character for lunatic to show up to question what ryans going to do with gregory once he finds the man, with ryan answering genuinely but flippantly while karina is bewildered ryan is just trying to have a casual conversation with an fire arrow dramatically pointed at him.

lunatic questions his end goal, like are you gonna kill that guy maybe, and ryans like i dunno, i didnt think that far. now that you mention it maybe i should lol? and karinas like im sorry what is wrong with you?

we couldve gotten the yuri petrov comedy hes hard to rope into by having ryan act like he usually does with lunatic? you try to be dramatic and brooding when some guy is arguing with his emotional support buddy hero girl? ryans only prior interaction with lunatic is in the rising and saying that he looks creepy: he didnt care about a vigilante showing up because he knew the mecha flying over sternbild was the thing he should stop.

its funny because ryans notable trait is “treating everyone equally”, i dont see why he wouldve acted differently with lunatic, and to imagine karina interacting with lunatic because he showed up and ryan isnt having a normal reaction to it by being concerned. but why would ryan be concerned?.. hes good at insight and im sure he knows lunatics justice is very serious to him, and ryan knows hes not a killer so why would he be concerned right now?

but yes, the barebones idea of using ryan especially as a vessel to force the hero ensemble to reconsider vigilantism and lunatic couldve in my opinion been done without the two of them ever interacting directly, because its about what they stand for in the narrative.

what we needed to see was kotetsu (and barnaby) forming some sort of opinion on this, since we mostly see the hero side through kotetsus eyes: he is the main character, after all. all the narrative had to do was let ryan to go do what he clearly wants to.

my description of this all is very elaborate and keeps the entire thing somehow separate from the other heroes, but i think the idea or something akin to my elaborate view couldve been conveyed in a fairly conservative amount of scenes, because the cour only has limited time!

theres also a huge potential for the other characters to join in on the vigilante shenanigans like what ended up happening in the end in canon with all of them “going rogue”, and ryan and karinas involvement couldve been greater than other heroes but still far more smaller once kotetsu and barnaby get their ball rolling over the matter...

t&b2 has a lot of characters, and i think they couldve made it work, but the scenes wouldve had to been carefully picked without wasting scenes on counteracting things they had already set up?..

i dont feel like i can answer the question of “what narrative purpose did it serve to make sure ryan doesnt try to capture gregory on his own?” without pivoting back to “it had to be like this so that yuri would suffer and die and our heroes would stay morally Good unlike lunatic!”.

like, i LOVE ryan, hes my favourite character! and many of the scenes he was in i couldve lived without, because they didnt really add anything of worth to the overall narrative or plotline save for reminding us that he exists.

the entire thing where blue golden separates from the other heroes to go try to find gregory in the jail itself was similarly needlessly drawn out and condensed all the same?..

i understand it as necessary somehow (for the current plotline) to introduce LL audun, but because ryan and karina dont really have anything to do with the guy, it feels wasteful.

the pacing felt awkward to me overall. i was actually bored in some of the first episodes of the cour! and after that, everything starts happening so fast: the LL audun situation is especially sped through.

in cour1, heroes got progressively taken out until only “the essentials” in completing the arc were left, which was a great idea for the sake of stretching the limited screentime available.

it also had real in-world impact, unlike blue golden getting up a while later even if gregory flaunted that “it was so easy for LL audun to kill heroes”. it served so little purpose and was a waste of everyones time for a cheap “shock” because since it happened off-screen, i easily guessed they wouldnt kill a character off like that.

in cour2, we start knocking out heroes very late to the episodes and its not even semi-permanent. it wouldve been way more sensible to have some of the cast get knocked out somewhat early to let the remaining heroes to shine! they couldve even made to go berserk by gregory, so that we couldve then knocked HIM out and then gotten most of the heroes back for a grand finale of sorts, probably facing off LL audun and accompanied by lunatic.

even in the canon scenario, subaru couldve charged in (his whole thing is that hes hot-headed and a bit stupid even if his heart is in the right place!) and thomas couldve shown up earlier, eliminating many scenes that had little worth and focused on efficiently introducing LL audun.

they couldve had that fight with him and thomas couldve swiftly explained key details about him for exposition and made it natural because we already knew hes a fan. i also think their arcs werent so bad i suppose, but them fighting together was the conclusion to the mr.thomas buddy arc, so getting knocked out for a few episodes because theyre still rookie heroes and a bit silly wouldve made sense...

especially when they already were in the last fight in cour1!

it wouldnt have been a disservice to their arcs and wouldve given others more time to shine, and it wouldve been interesting to have other heroes react that the rookie team is presumed dead? they wouldve been fighting even harder against LL audun!

which leads me to say that the one good thing about cour2 for me was LL auduns character, but his potential wasnt realized. he was so prominent as imagery in cour1, with the twins and thomas both idolizing him.

we also know that mr.legend was a corrupt hero and there probably were others? instead of auroras introduction (it was such a gimmick), and gregory getting so much screentime for being creepy, it wouldve been far more interesting to focus on the fact LL auduns time active in vigilantism overlapped with mr.legends time as a hero.

i keep coming back to this, but LL audun couldve been the perfect setup for mr.legends crimes becoming public? it wouldve added intrique to the viewer too by have mr.thomas presumed dead and LL audun fighting the remaining heroes.

that wouldve made it harder to believe mr.legend really sucked so much by the general public and many heroes! kotetsu and barnaby wouldve felt inclined to share some part of what they learned from yuri earlier?

i feel like this wouldve been such an interesting way to make kotetsu and barnaby realize even more things about mr.legend, the hero system itself, medias part in who gets to be a hero and whos not, and lunatic... in a deeper way than the canon, half-hearted attempt at sympathetizing we got, because i just think its not in-character to have them react like that!

in-show its mentioned that LL audun “started to think hes a true hero around his tenth year in prison” but it felt like pure ouroboros/maverick interference to me (even if the current narrative mightve meant it for real).

wouldnt it have made more sense that LL audun was actually a "true hero” fighting against the establishment of the hero system itself, not because he hates heroes, but because he had figured out it was already rotten to the core becasue of maverick?

his simple nature was refreshing (in the same way i really liked fugan and mugan because they were villains but also funny about it) and kept the scenes with him light-hearted, a quality ive always been fond of in tiger&bunny. i do like intense scenes, but i think tiger&bunny should also be a little bit funny and not hard to watch.

he couldve lost his grip on reality a little bit since he spent decades in solitary confinement and focused very hard on his idea of heroism, or maverick couldve even fucked with his thoughts and made him into a ticking time bomb of wanting to destroy so many random people if he ever got out?

how the hell did maverick, mr.legend and the heroes of that time, realistically defeat LL audun back then? its not explained (again i could misremember) and its not important to the canon as-is, but imagine if the canon had focused on idk, being nicer to yuri and on the angle of mr.legends crimes and what if maverick, with mr.legend in tow, had promised to destroy sternbild if LL audun doesnt let them have their way?

it wouldve been, i feel, very easy to let us catch on that maverick was manufacturing LL auduns crimes and spread them on the media for the benefit of mr.legend and heroTV, and that LL audun couldnt stop maverick because he had been honorable about it, like a “true hero”?

hundred power is extremely versatile since it heightens all senses and weve seen that it can even boost recovery, and he can activate it almost continuously: what was it that stopped him from cracking mr.legends skull like an egg once the man himself had fully lost his power, given the canon itself features mr.legend worried about having to face someone he cant realistically win against?

LL audun outright refusing to kill mr.legend and/or maverick feels like the logical conclusion to the question of why he could be defeated. it would also give kotetsu something to think about, to realize this on the screen as our main character!

mr.legend was the hero who saved kotetsu, and then he learns from yuri that mr.legend was actually an awful person, and then, as i suggest, he sees a buddy hero pair go rogue- and then they all have to go rogue?

and to bring all of that to a satisfying conclusion, he faces off against LL audun, with the man questioning gregorys claims about who the real villains are because theyve all protected each other.

some further exposition later he could learn that mr.legend wouldnt have been able to be so awful if LL audun had just killed him when he had the chance, and that maverick couldnt have manipulated barnaby and been evil overall if LL audun hadnt taken up my suggested deal from maverick to voluntarily get imprisoned to protect sternbild and had gone the lunatic route instead?

kotetsu has always been so against killing people, and i dont think hes wrong to think so (well yes i think he is wrong. i think its morally okay to kill evil people! albeit not without emotional consequences for the person taking up that burden like lunatic. but i think its important for kotetsu to disagree with killing) and he wouldnt have had to abandon that principle of his, but this troubling reveal couldve given the narrative way more depth?..

and when kotetsu talks of the goal in the rising being saving virgil/andrew from himself: couldnt he have recognized the emotional toll lunatics actions take on him, and the emotional toll LL audun has taken due to his inaction?

like a real bit of some gray morality that actually has a purpose!

thinking about it makes me want to break something- i feel like everything was so perfectly set up for something like this, and not even this scenario but the concept of sympathizing with yuri further and helping him heal!

it couldve happened without revealing that lunatic is yuri and letting yuri continue in his position as the director of the heroes after the season has concluded (i wouldve enjoyed this personally so that i can imagine him out there), because i feel that revealing mr.legends crimes wouldve changed yuris position so significantly, and for the better!

kotetsu, as the main chracter, wouldnt have had to reveal judge petrov is mr.legends son either, maybe just lunatic for example! imagine yuri seeing people condemn his father? that wouldve been incredibly cathartic? that people agree that whoever mr.legends family was, they mustve suffered, truly and deeply?

yuri couldve gotten a scene like what kotetsu got at the end of the rising, with heroTV broadcasting random people having various positive opinions on him instead as he stands somewhere, contemplating taking off his mask and killing himself for his sins and his justice and whatnot while kotetsu and barnaby arent able to calm him down?

we couldve had a dramatic scene like that, and one of the manga chapters features that scene where yuri revealed his face to the terminally ill woman who had wanted to know who the man behind the mask is: he couldve even revealed himself to kotetsu and barnaby at least since theyre the main characters and still retained his anonymity by using his fire to shield himself from heroTV.

and on the broadcasted heroTV screen people from across sternbild could thank him for what hes done: could yuri, at that point, deny himself the possibility of being forgiven in some way?

it couldve also given us the hilarious dynamic of kotetsu and barnaby at least (and just for me, as a treat, ideally most if not all heroes) knowing that yuri is lunatic but they have a pact to keep his secret.

lunatic half-bleeds to death before jumping off but he doesnt set himself on fire and we dont see him fully fall but it serves as a momentary death fakeout.

then theres an ending scene of judge petrov opening the door to the hero lounge to give a briefing (returning us to the start of the season with yuri briefing everyone about buddy heroes) and he looks incredibly beat up.

agnes asks what the hell happened to him and he says he “got caught by one of the rampaging NEXT” or something else not unbelievable but ridiculous with a straight face, and none of the heroes contradict him.

like, wouldnt it be on-brand for kotetsu to try to joke about it while barnaby tried to shush him and causing someone like keith to quip that he doesnt really get it, isnt it a secret? and agnes could just scoff because whatever are the heroes talking about now...

my dream scenario is everyone laughing about this with yuri who is also laughing a little in confusion because now he has those bonds he hasnt had before? ngl i dont care i just want to see him happy lmfao<3

anyways see how ive lost the plot of this opinions document? bible-length and ive rambled about various topics, jeez. i also said i wouldnt talk about yuri so much but he just feels like such a central character and i like it- i just wish theyd been gentle with him instead of whatever we got. and yes, im about to talk about yuri again...

its unfortunate that with such a big cast, again, only the titular protagonists are often given scenes to interact with plot-relevant matters personally and with any depth...

of course, kotetsu and barnaby should remain at the centre of it all since theyre the protagonists, but cour2 especially included us seeing tidbits from the perspective of so many random characters, it begs the question why add so many bits from characters when i think its pretty clear the fans are interested in tiger&bunny for the ensemble cast too and want to see more of them?..

sorry to fervent mario the announcer fans or something i suppose, but if cour2 had used its time more wisely, we couldve gotten great moments from various heroes in the same time we didnt get anything done?

wasnt a single writer aware that the fandom adores the titular protagonists but theres also large fandom pockets for the other hero characters AND yuri? didnt anyone think that s2 and its buddy hero premise couldve more effectively been used to give us more lore and funny moments also for the supporting cast?

this makes me, for example, think of the scenes where everyone is deliberating X rampages and gregory things.

youre telling me that weve got all of these characters in a room and youre capable of making them act in-character while interacting with each other, but you chose the most boring ways to do it in pursuit of some sort of unneeded seriousness?

those scenes by themselves couldve been majorly improved by playing into what ive seen as the strength of tiger&bunny, with the way every hero has a distinct personality easy to play up for light-hearted moments without making it unnatural or forced?..

for example, they could be trying to talk of something serious when ryan, kotetsu and subaru get into a nonsensical argument because theyre all so loud and kotetsu and ryan actually get along well, so they couldve argued on purpose to ease the mood, while subaru got really serious about the argument because hes 17 and goofy?

barnaby, karina and thomas are all collectively sighing because of course their buddy partners are acting like this, and this goes on while keith is trying to get a word out on something actually valuable he thought of but hes too polite to interrupt the conversation, so nathan has to raise her voice and be like “boys can we please calm down keith wants to say something<3 you have 30 seconds before i get mad!″

and kotetsu, ryan and subaru are forced to apologetically sit on the floor or something, just to let keith convey an actually good point he came up just now while listening to them argue. expositional scenes dont have to be boring and lifeless?

of course its sweet to have them work together, but giving them light-hearted moments wouldnt have diminished that. theres just so much potential with the cast we have, and while they had a great foundation, the real potential was never really reached.

the way they neglect the strength of their ensemble cast repeats with who interacts with lunatic/yuri. and i know- kotetsu and barnaby are our main characters here, but sometimes i feel like hes in protagonist jail, because there are so many great interactions to pursue with him that could actually add something to the narrative!

nathan was kind of accidentally framed by him in s1, but we dont really get any follow-up on that. and for me, one of yuris greatest moments is in the manga when he saves keith (civilian) from dying while keith is trying to save the two criminals from dying himself, and keith is never none the wiser about it.

but thats more of a self-indulgence than a realistic critique, i imagine. however, from this i can get to talking about the heroes i didnt yet mention, because i can see so many ways to tie the supporting cast into the narrative and not just include scenes for “fanservice”.

the peripheral material has done this and more, why not include some of it in the show?

this is all mostly just a lot of musing on how underutilized everyone was, and how a lot of it felt disjointed and a bit wasteful of the time they had to convey the entire story.

ill start with keith: it was disappointing how he only smiled through the entire cour2, especially when you think about LL audun, who pretty much shares his “simple” worldview on heroism. we didnt even see him fight LL audun at all if my memory serves me right.

he didnt have any reaction to when the heroes get shelved, and keith arguably has pretty much no other life than being a hero, but he never has any sort of thoughts about the matter.

closest we get is firesky reminiscensing on the moments they had respectively gotten their hero suits, and keith remains one of the heroes whose backstory we know absolutely nothing about. i actually thought keith would drop some backstory lore there, but he didnt.

i feel that cour1 did a fantastic job on telling us what sort of guy he is in the episode nathan complains about him to kotetsu and barnaby: he is insecure despite all of his fame and how “perfect” he is without trying by nature, and he still he tries to act even more perfect to make sure other people would like him.

cour2 didnt really give us anything? i was genuinely expecting keith to break down at some point and that he was trying really hard to act unbothered to not make anyone else lose heart, especially after kotetsu remarked in cour1 that its keith and nathan who are really doing most of the advising around here and not himself and barnaby, the real senior buddy hero pair.

it wouldve not only given us a continuation of things from cour1 and given keith some sort of arc for the 2nd cour, but it couldve given us a character-driven moment used to show us why its kotetsu who is the protagonist even if we all know keith is such a picture-perfect hero.

ive always thought that kotetsu is more approachable than keith on purpose: hes a very normal person with normal concerns that are easy for many to relate to, and that is his charm and his strength, and he doesnt particularly stand out or excel, hes in the hero business purely out of his conviction and doing his best.

wild tiger isnt the most popular hero, but he has dedicated fans, okay! hes goofy and easy-going and meddlesome, and hes trying to make the world better, whereas keith could never be the protagonist in the same way kotetsu is because hes just too good, like how nathan found his projected perfection unnerving.

to let kotetsu participate in reassuring keith (since hes the protagonist and a busybody!) besides nathan as his buddy partner couldve served as a plot point to strengthen the idea that kotetsus various flaws are a part of what makes him great, and it couldve been used in tandem to again, interrogate the narrative about what heroism is, who can be a hero, and so on and so forth.

and with regards to my earlier thoughts about LL audun, keith represents the same type of ideal LL audun at least thinks himself to be, and the sort of ideal LL audun couldve embodied if they let me write t&b2, lol.

there couldve been some sort of plot-relevant parallel there that lets kotetsu actually figure out that LL audun is genuinely thinking hes doing the right thing and gregory was taking advantage of him- something to let kotetsu take the initiative in making LL audun question whether he actually is fighting against villains or not, because LL audun randomly questioning it himself was a bit too convenient.

it couldve been a time for kotetsu to shine with what he does best, trying to talk his brand of sense into the people hes fighting against, like how he always has a lot to say when hes facing off lunatic, or how in season1 his entire plan for making people remember who he is includes him showing up in his old hero suit and talking to them.

isnt that part of kotetsus charm as a protagonist?.. and LL audun wouldve been perfect for a discussion, because his personality wouldve lended itself to a very campy “two heroes having a dramatic discussion during a fight”.

i suppose i also personally dont need or want kotetsu be really good at fighting with the most powerful NEXT power, because thats not what makes him a fun protagonist. him goofing off and slipping on a banana peel on his way to an arrest makes him fun, and him talking the socks off of his opponents is just part of his way of being a hero.

kotetsu is into the whole “superhero flair”: heroes need to have secret identities, and heroes need to be a bit campy with thematic outfits and have dramatic discussions while they fight, and thats the spirit of tiger&bunny, isnt it? isnt that what were here for?

i at least never watched tiger&bunny for a yuri petrov suffering arc, when tiger&bunny has had an uplifting message throughout even if it tackles more adult issues due to the adult protagonists?

either way, to return to keith, i just feel like hes overdue for having that sort of very human moment to his character, because his nuance has largely been confined to manga and peripheral materials... it wouldve been nice to see him get a big moment on-screen.

even in cour1, the episode with firesky is largely shown to us from nathans perspective. having keith break down wouldve also been a great way to show how serious the shelving of heroes is and making the situation feel tense because keith especially is always so happy.

it couldve been a tipping point of sorts, where everyone starts to lose heart whether theyll manage to figure out the X rampage issue or not, because despite the boring seriousness of those scenes, i at least never felt a real sense of urgency or huge concern about them not being able to be heroes?

keith confessing that he is having a very hard time with the circumstances and making everyone visibly falter wouldve actually left an impact, and couldve let kotetsu shine as a protagonist by him trying to pick up the pieces.

it couldve also have bit of a callback to that scene where in the beginning movie hes called everyone together and claimed that the heroes and barnaby want to meet each other and everyone gets upset and leaves, one by one, but i guess it couldve been more that everyone leaves buddy pair by buddy pair since the season makes a big deal of pairing them up with them buddy pairs whenever possible.

it wouldve made me sad but not in an utterly desperate way because i know that the heroes will pull through and save the day, it wouldve been a good sort of sad.

this couldve also given nathan more of a spot to shine, because shes keiths buddy hero partner! she wouldve been there for him, but i also dont want to suggest any sort of reduction of nathan to a mammy stereotype-adjacent spot where her main function in the narrative is to take care of others, but more on nathan later.

the scene where nathan offers to hire keith as a secretary especially perplexed me and was left in the forefront of my mind. it was funny and cute, but thinking of keith losing his hero status and not immediately looking into civilian ways to help like finding volunteer organizations to sign himself up for them is so unbelievable to me, sorry...

and because i think cour2 shouldve used their episodes and screentime wisely, any such things with keith couldve been, again, tied to the bigger themes of heroism and such, right on the nose in fact! i dont think its far-fetched to have a moment of hopelessness by having keith break down and then reveal later on that hes signed himself up to ten different volunteer organizations when prompted by kotetsu.

one remark and everyone figures keith is so sad too, but hes still trying so hard to help?

keith is in many ways the best of them, and even if he was so crestfallen and suffering, hes juggling ten volunteer jobs at once even as people have complicated feelings about NEXTs due to the X riots and whatever. hes trying so hard to get people to like him and hes troubled by having NEXT powers and possibly putting people in danger if he lost control somehow (like, is he bad by showing up as keith goodman without admitting first thing he has NEXT powers, and also maybe without admitting hes sky high, as if it was a crime).

it was actually so odd how none of the heroes were ever really concerned about losing control?.. especially the heroes with powers that have the capacity to be really destructive?

and to return to keith, in my opinion he wouldve also suffered with the very human desire to be a hero again: its a huge part of his identity and it occupies almost all of his time! i think he would feel guilty that even if hes helping still in his own way by volunteering, he would specifically want to be reinstated as a hero.

it would feel selfish to him, that he has such a private desire. hes also extremely introspective and he canonically spends a lot of time thinking. he couldve delivered a very neat and conscise but very human monologue on the topic and it wouldve given the other heroes a great character-driven moment to share a bit more about how they feel about the situation?

to have our hero ensemble shelved from hero work and dedicate no scene for them to talk about how they feel about it specifically is such a waste, when it couldve showcased their personas and furthered the plotline by having them remember why theyre heroes in the first place and/or why they want to continue being heroes, etc...

what bothered me with firesky was that they also felt oddly separate from the rest of the cast at times during cour2 and the trailer made their role seem far bigger than it ended up being.

they had a bunch of nice scenes together that very funny and showcased their personalities, but i was very disappointing how those scenes kind of failed to tie into the main plotline so that they were just... there. even though theyve been a part of the main cast since the start:/

they didnt even get a major fighting scene with a big bad because LL audun knocked them out off-screen.

nathan suffers from many of the things keith suffered... she also didnt really have any significant role and well, it wasnt too bad i suppose, it was just oddly disjointed.

the heroes met up at helios energy, i think, but they couldve done so much more with nathans position as the CEO of helios energy.

it has always been a footnote in the show, even if the new manga shows us that nathan is aware of various changes in the hero system before anyone else by getting to participate in the discussions about those changes as her own boss! which is also weird ethically, but i guess its not taken so seriously.

it could have been easy to make nathan more prominent because of her CEO status. what if wed gotten to see the mayor talk to a wider board of people that included the owners of the hero companies etc and nathan was allowed to be there, hearing the talk about shelving heroes and being like wow! that certainly is a suggestion, but!..

this couldve also been used to emphasize that as his buddy partner nathan knows how important keiths job is to him? she couldve even alluded to how some heroes have really dedicated their entire lives to hero work and this is no joking matter!

instead of us getting scenes of the mayor and the assistant or somesuch, we couldve literally had a character there and given her a moment to shine while keeping it plot-relevant?.. she couldve given kotetsu and barnaby some insider knowledge on how to talk with the mayor, too?

i think her being a CEO and a hero is interesting because i dont think “CEO” is a very heroic civilian job, but i dont know if id want the series to ever delve into it overmuch because i dont know how it would be respectful to nathan who has suffered from being reduced to a homophobic/transmisogynistic stereotype before...

not like nathan is the only rich hero either, its just very different to gain income from only from hero work versus being a CEO. the peripheral material sometimes comments something about it like a gag strip making nathan say she wishes the heroes wouldnt go on a strike due to her being one of the shareholders.

what this does remind me of is that i dont think t&b2 really had any significant commentary on how money makes things go around? in s1, it felt kind of prominent. kotetsus old hero company literally went bankrupt and antonio suffers from his unpopularity driving down his sponsors profits.

its why the heroes have to also keep up appearances- its not enough to just be a hero, you have to work to be popular as well. in s1 kotetsu & barnaby cant go to a crime scene because theyre doing an interview and other popularity stuff so their hero alerts were cancelled for the duration.

we get the whole “ouroboros controls everything, actually!..” and a vague allusion to affecting The Economy, but thats it?

anyway, disregarding all of that, i feel like they couldve used nathans CEO status for something. what if she had put her career and status on the line to use her connections and money to reacquire the hero suits of those whose companies had really put them under lock and key...

i also think back to momentarily developing some sort of mega optimism brain rot and thinking that karina couldve had some sort of gay crush plotline with the girl who was trying to pretend shes rampaging and how incredibly sweet it wouldve if the noted LGBT icon of our lineup, nathan, gender-haver extraordinaire, had been able to support karina with that... like yeah ryan wouldve been there for her but... hes ryan. lol

overall, i thought the buddy pairs were fun, but man, i want to see the hero ensemble interact with everyone and not just one assigned "important” character per hero. it also made a lot of scenes a bit disjointed with how buddy pairs were a bit separated, in my opinion... it worked better when it was just kotetsu and barnaby, because theyre the main characters! of course theyll have more plotlines than the others.

one thing i already found a bit strange at the start of cour1 is that nathan didnt talk with antonio almost at all, and we know the new director is a huge antonio fan (which is actually funny to me, and you can see the antonio love shining through).

but.... in prior content nathan has also been regularly paired up with antonio, and i dont mean in a shipping sense (even if that has happened as well but it has only really been to make gags on nathan being creepy because of her poor portrayal before), just that theyve specifically been portrayed as friends before.

so it feels like nathan got sidelined purposefully while making antonio have that entire thing about agnes seep from mainly peripheral content into the main show... (i have a huge brain and am a gay antonio truther, btw.)

it left a bit of a bitter taste in my mouth that someone who has some say over the happenings in the show (?) and loves antonio hasnt acknowledged their friendship in any way... and nathans portrayal prior has been unfortunate, so it wouldve meant something to see nathan get to be friends with antonio with the gross sterotypes removed?

its not enough to say things have changed and you want to improve on nathans portrayal: i want to fucking see it!

while their dynamic is funny, the above has made me worry that nathan and keith were paired as a buddy pair because the writers didnt have anything better to do with them and keith is “naive enough” to hang out with nathan without them having to address anything about nathan properly, and cour2 really didnt ease my fear about it.

like one thing nathan has done explicitly in various material is to behave in a specifically “boy crazy” way which i as a lesbian dont really care about, but i think it wouldve meant something to let nathan act in that way without making it weirdly creepy and uncomfortable, and instead let nathan be a whole person of her own.

i am a serial friendzoner of everyone except characters who havent interacted in canon (lmfao) but the purposes of respectfully portraying nathan and proving that the horrible stereotuping is over, i think there couldve been real narrative worth in her being canonically romantically interested in keith and have that relationship develop, to show that nathan is so much more than those creepy stereotypical actions forced on her characterization before.

it wouldnt have to be keith in the case they didnt want to introduce any romance between the hero ensemble, but any romance plotline for nathan couldve been used to show they really did want to improve on nathans portrayal like nathan would deserve.

it couldve easily been used for a scene in which nathan properly brings up their identity because sure, its been discussed some more in peripheral material and the rising improves on what she was given before, but still retains multiple harmful elements... and it just makes me mad to imply youre going to improve on stuff like this and then not do anything with nathan.

as far as i know, her civilian outfit in the rising seems to be inspired by a japanese comedians gag character called “hard gay”, whose ensemble includes a leather bodysuit, and hard gay isnt exactly a respectful portrayal.

i also love to read tiger&bunny opinions online through google translate, from people who would understand nathans identity/possible tropes better than i do by the virtue of being LGBT+ and japanese.

one of the things ive seen raised is that nathans declaration of self-love in the rising is more compassionate than their prior portrayal, but that it unfortunately is somewhat of a trope in itself given the wording of it, which i think further explains how i think nathan wouldve deserved a bigger role?

theres also the recurring issue of misogyny, because nathan specifically says (dirctly copied from netflix translation): “they say a man is made of courage, and a woman is made of love. so what does that mean for people that are gay? we are invincible!”

men being courageous and women being loving is a cliche, which they included as a narrative choice and is not nathans fault... and t&b2 really didnt improve on the baked-in misogyny, which ive already talked about...

and ill be honest, i dont know how nathan romance shenanigans couldve tied into the main plotline lmfao, but they couldve called back to s1 and keith asking the girls for romantic advice, except now it wouldve been keith with the younger girls in tow trying to advise nathan, which wouldve been funny.

it wouldnt even had to have been a fuck you to people who like firesky romantically, because nathans plans couldve fallen through (by for example having the guy have been an antagonistic force in some way, perhaps interested in getting close to a hero after theyve been shelved just for the gossip, like an evil reporter, to make a point about media) and they couldve included a buddy hero scene afterwards where nathan remarks how keith would not do that.

because its true, keith would not do that, and it wouldve given people something fun to elaborate on?..

instead of remarkable improvements for nathans character besides the passive “no more creepy things”, we also get that scene at the end of the skyfire episode where subarus quip comes across as somehow homophobic to me, and i genuinely dont know what im supposed to feel about it. if youre wiser, then please enlighten me.

at this point i realized that talking about each character individually might kill me, because i have so many opinions, and maybe i should focus on buddy hero pairs a little better since thats how they were given to us in s2.

i also probably have more opinions on keith and nathan than the rest because keith is one of my favourite characters and i do really like nathan too, im just frequently haunted by the narratives past crimes against nathan and the currently occurring crimes as well, lol.

talking of subaru, his buddy partner thomas, and his sister ruby, why didnt they do something with thomas and the fact that nathan has been mentioned to have a little sister she cares a lot about? that couldve tied into the plotline?

i was very surprised ruby had no particular role and felt very separate from the rest of the narrative, and how nobody except subaru seemed to notice thomas wasnt present?

subaru begrudgingly (because hes 17 and wants to be independent) asking nathan or the firesky duo for advice because kotetsu saw he was acting weird and pulled him aside to talk about it and directed him to nathan on the subject matter couldve been a fun addition.

it couldve again showed that kotetsus strength is more than just some imaginary scenario where hes the smartest and strongest with all of the answers, because its not true. kotetsu couldve put himself down about it like oh bunny, i couldnt do anything, see! its those two giving advice again!

but barnaby wouldve correctly assessed that its only because of kotetsu subaru is doing this, and without kotetsu meddling, nathan or keith wouldnt have noticed to help subaru either.

mr. thomas overall had an alright arc. ruby was introduced, but much wasnt done with her. i sincerely thought she wouldve been adopted by ouroboros after everything that happened in cour1 and the mentions of orphans.

this drives me up the wall, because yet again, they had an obvious route to question heroism and villainy, and who is a victim of their circumstances and what acts exactly are evil.

kotetsu and barnaby wouldve had a lot of sympathy for ruby just because of their own backstories and personalities, and nobody else wouldve been unsympathetic either?

ruby is reduced to “little sister who loves and supports thomas”, and thats all: she barely has any real agency, even if it was her who sought thomas out. her personality is “gentle and understanding”. she continues the theme of being a woman in the show being reduced to narrative vessels to make the guys of the show do or feel something...

i also talked about them a bit earlier, so i dont have much else to say.

but one huge unresolved plot thread is their entire company? why did they even introduce the owner and manager of jungle when they werent relevant? and why did they seemingly sabotage subaru in cour1 by having his PDA not go off when heroes were called?

i thought it was significant? i thought jungle was sabotaging him?.. nothing came out of that?!

origami rock kinda won... they had a lot of good scenes. antonio was clearly beloved by the narrative. ive also spent two days writing this post so im kinda sick of writing it and this is one of the last parts im bothering to comment about so itll be kinda short, but...

like i mentioned earlier, alcoholism was kind of painted as something evil people do and antonios drinking problem was kind of bypassed entirely, when i feel like its a major thing for him? in the KOW the rising schedule, he really goes hard in on drowning his sadness and loneliness in alcohol.

it was also made into a joke moreso, with antonio and ivan apparently having gone drinking together?.. i feel like a more healthy direction for antonio wouldve been them focusing on things ivan wants to do... like, ivan went out drinking? seriously?

i guess that does feel like a major step for him in the sense that hes less shy and far less mortified by knowing he did silly thinks while drunk which is good for him to be less self-conscious... but its also like... i dont know, just weird me out that antonio would introduce ivan to that part of his life, which i felt was just his loneliness coping mechanism.

last but not least, kid cat... they really got the short end of the stick. they even lived in a dorm together and nothing ever really came out of that? it felt like a waste. i already talked about them a little bit.

paolin didnt really get a separate arc but she did really shine in cour1 at least, and maybe its just me but the whole situation around laras mom and kid cat being shoved into it soured their entire thing for me, especially the part of paolin comparing laras mom to her own mom, again... oof. that shit hurted.

i disliked that paolin was pushed into somehow vaguely motherly/caretaker-esque role with lara with her even looking up those damn parenting books and her fun energetic and somewhat goofy personality wasnt so well preserved. i wish a girl character was allowed to be goofy while still having serious and cool moments: they could do this with subaru but not paolin.

i already talked about karina earlier, but again, even if its actually incharacter and natural for karina to be be “the responsible one” in her dynamic with ryan which i do enjoy, i cant help but notice the narrative forcing all girl characters into that sort of role... i would include nathan (haver of gender) in this, because i feel like being goofy on the occasion is very central to her as well, but hmm.

its not even that i dislike karinas and nathans dynamic with their buddy hero partners, its just unfortunate that all girlies had to do similar things, because i cant ignore it... t&b2 really goofed with that.

it disappoints me personally that even if i dont understand how it wouldve made any sense wrt the narrative, i wish paolin had allowed to show her gender non-comformity somehow?.. i probably had my hopes up after hearing about them essentially saying they want to add a bit of representation into t&b2.

but i suppose that mainly meant ruby mentioning she has two dads and the girl with an ex-girlfriend.

all of the girlies got sidelined, which ive already talked about...

i feel like karina got the most major arc which does make sense because shes more of a main character than the rest, but it was also taken a little bit too seriously in my opinion, i wish the characters clearly treated it as karina being a teen who has a crush on some old guy because teens do that.

it was also kind of like a waste for me... i didnt need so many scenes about it personally. shouldve made karina do things for herself.

i have to admit that for a moment i genuinely thought that karina talking to that fake rampaging girl about her unrequited love for an ex-gf was going to awaken some feelings in karina, lmfao.

another thing about mr.legend i didnt manage to fit anywhere is that we still dont know his name? hes just mr.legend, even yuri doesnt say his name. it makes sense, but narratively, this ensures that mr.legend remains the stuff of myths. it feels like this is what they wanted, but it sucks!

to give him a name behind the hero gimmick wouldve brought him down from his status to that of a normal human. ive always been certain that petrov is yuris mothers maiden name as well, so dropping mr.legends name wouldnt have immediately implicated “yuri petrov” of anything.

nobody even knows he had a family! it feels like maverick scrubbed all of that clean, just in case.

as for mattia, i think his character has worth but is used wastefully: not only is he the one to develop the drug that drives much of the plotline, he gives us more insight to the worldbuilding of t&b and normal peoples opinions on NEXT powers. he doesnt hate the NEXT, but if he could choose, he would have NEXT powers himself.

this sets him apart from other similar characters like ben or saito, who are both normal people at the periphery of the heroes without NEXT powers who have been portrayed heroically in the past, since he explicitly wishes he could attain a sliver of the heroism he sees barnaby have, and he thinks he needs a NEXT power to be able to do so.

this couldve been, yet again, used to reinforce the theme that heroism is so much more than just having a powerful NEXT power. mattia couldve also been used more intelligently, and while connecting him to barnaby is nice to give him a new friend, some of his functions couldve been covered by kotetsu or some other members of the hero ensemble.

it couldve worked better if, for example, the hero ensemble had more strongly reacted to suspecting mattia to have ratted them out. i already said that i think ryan wouldve been more than annoyed about it, but the moment couldve been used to showcase various characters and their reactions to it!

i think the moment couldve been drawn out instead of being immediately resolved, maybe even included something about how mattia needs to prove himself to not to be a spy for ouroboros, not because i think its reasonable, but it couldve meant something to have our heroes be utterly wrong about someone!

i come back to this again and again, but it couldve been used as a point that the heroes arent necessarily right just because theyre heroes, and that mattia couldve worked with saito and proven himself to act more “heroically” (alongside saito!) than how the heroes treated him.

and, unfortunately, the narrative itself undermines mattia because of auroras existence.

she introduces a huge plot hole for me. mattia has worked hard to try to develop a NEXT drug, and has actually gotten results, its just that he hasnt gotten the specific result he wanted: why doesnt he just mail that drugs composition to aurora and have her complete it, since her unclear NEXT power seems to have no limits and gives her a vast intellect without even trying?

in fact, when theres any sort of problem, why dont we ask aurora about it? if shes so important, why havent we ever heard of her before? her inclusion didnt feel natural at all.

i really hated aurora, because her character felt so cheap and gimmicky in every possible way. sure, she was foreshadowed in cour1, but since she obviously didnt exist in s1, it felt incredibly stupid that there conveniently is one single person ouroboros has to assassinate to ruin all relations between people who have NEXT powers and those who dont...

her power makes no sense: if shes so fucking smart and has been Thinking of ways to better the world for literally decades, then why capitalism all over the world?

i do think its realistic to expect she cant force the world to become an utopia, but the way shes introduced and dealt with doesnt really give me a well-nuanced view of her. she looks to the side and saves some lizard species form extinction with an idea.

i think her character couldve been interesting if they had used the whole season to set her up and i guess made the themes of the season somehow align with her and “not being able to fix the world alone no matter how smart you are etc” and included her as the brain and LL audun as the brawns and how neither of them could ever fix the world alone according to their opinions, and only in their bonds can our heroes find the most of their strengths, including connections with other people like how kotetsu could chat with a child in s1 to ease him down from his rampage at the ice rink etc.

buuuut i feel like that couldve been the plotline for some other season altogether. now that we know LL audun, he could get him back later and see how hes doing, etc... in the case he was given more nuance or something and not just sent back to jail, i mean.

theres also the moment where aurora opened her eyes and i guess i was supposed to feel it was significant but i genuinely didnt care. like okay. yeah i noticed that. no i dont care that the day was saved and “she felt comfortable closing her eyes again”.

was that purposeful?.. the implication that shes closing her eyes from the world?.. and she only opened them when she realized she personally was in danger?..

that was so wild to me, i still dont know what the purpose behind that was, but that certainly was how the overall arc felt about yuri. eyes closed, who cares if some guy suffers for no reason.

rosicky was interesting to me, and it was a waste she got shot before she could have any sort of discussion?.. she just felt like a cheap trick to get yuris body fucked up. it couldve been an interesting moment overall, but, well...

not like were going to get anything about yuri reacting to how all of that went down? so it was just... weird.

and then rosicky died and gregory "won” their little squabble, and i wish gregory had fucking exploded because lunatics been making some points and i fucking hate him...

also just to return to the ouroboros ties of the season, they made ouroboros so all-powerful it was stupid and lost a lot of meaning to me. like alright, they can do anything, why are we even fighting, and why is rosicky alone in charge of this operation... makes no fucking sense, its such a forced situation.

the ending of cour2 was... well, it existed. i mean, i dont personally mind kotetsu retiring for good overmuch i suppose, but i think with everything that happened (especially in the way i think things should have happened) he couldve just continued as proof that even people without NEXT powers can be superheroes...

and also as a some sort of proof that it was mr.legends refusal to change any part of his hero image that really did him in: kotetsu could cling to his heroism while accepting hes just a guy without powers and not make it such an issue.

and i suppose if he retires, i wouldve loved to see him take some sort of director-like role instead: i dont think he would be able to let hero stuff go completely, but him being a senior you ask for advice would still give him a lot of things to do.

right now its also a bit of my fear, if they have any thoughts of continuing tiger&bunny in any way ever and yuri had to die so that kotetsu could take over the spot he ended up occupying as a director...:( genuinely makes me make a sad face in real life.

by the point we got to the end they had already fucked up the entire premise and any message they wouldve hoped to send and if they had some sort of uplifting message after yuris death, i failed to understand it. but it felt like a giant fuck you to the fans of the show called “tiger&bunny” to get that last bit of tiger&bunny pair disbanding because of reasons.

i mean, theyre not even remotely my favourite characters and i dont think about them overmuch, but leaving it more open-ended wouldve been so much more fun for so many fans? they really fucked up the shows undercurrent of interrogating who can be a hero and why in the first place, but like...

yeah that shit sucked ass sorry. i dont even have anything to add. people who showed up to see more kotetsu and barnaby content getting that half-hearted discussion about where theyre gonna go from here and then showing their plaque in the “true heroes” hall...

i feel like it undercuts kotetsus character so much, because hes always been the “underdog”, and hes pulled through everything that came before this. they explicitly mention that hes been working really hard to supplement his waning power, and then leave it at that: if i was supposed to understand from that part that kotetsu isnt really retiring or anything, it didnt really come across due to the other circumstances.

and again, i dont even really care about kotetsu! its just that he really exemplifies the tone of the show as a fact, and i like to think i have a modicum of media literacy. and by undermining the uplifting message of the show, they directly undermined him, and by undermining him, they further muddied the spirit of t&b.

i feel like an ending i wouldve killed for is one that couldve included that sort of tour of a museum, but it wouldve showed mr.legend paraphernalia being moved away from “true heroes” and also included our protags being inducted in there if they so wished, but leaving it more open ended... and definitely proving that mr.legend was not worthy of being thought of as a hero.

it was weird that the second league isnt brought up at all during the entire season from what i can remember? i dont even have anything significant to say about it, but i think second league heroes are and have been important, just by existing, to the narrative asking the viewer who really is a true hero and who insnt and what it all means.

they just didnt care, just like they didnt care about that question and yuri. again, they fully ignored anything they had set up before, and kept introducing new characters when old side characters couldve been brought back.

i have some thoughts on the police chief being a younger version of the police chief from double decker... im unsure if the implication is that double decker is more than a spiritual sequel and its not just cameo, or if its something more.

mattia did off-handedly mention that hes developing now trying to develop a drug that takes NEXT powers away if i read and understood it right, which would, i guess, make a canonical disappearance of NEXT powers possible.

i have actually never seen double decker myself, but i understand it references tiger&bunny while being separate and clearly “in the future” from it, and as far as i understand, it doesnt have people with superpowers.

i personally think that imagining double deckers world as a canonical sequel to the world of tiger&bunny sucks, but i dunno what the real implication there is.

i also want to talk about the art direction of t&b2 since im airing out my opinions and complaints, so why not: the art direction kinda sucks. everyone has been smoothed and thinned down and the essence of t&bs charming style has been lost in some ways.

you can really see the jump between older art and the newer art with ryan, for example... ill talk about ryan now because this is my post and i love this guy.

he is downright ugly in some parts of the rising, and i love calling him ugly, but in a serious way, yes, i think hes explicitly supposed to be handsome (because what else does he have going on for him even except being loud and looking good lol).

hes just a different kind of attractive than barnaby who is pretty, and theres various scenes in the rising where you can see that barnaby has more of a button nose while ryan has a sharp, short nose, unlike yuri for example, who just has a large nose overall (and its his charm point!).

ryans most notable quality is that his eyes are drawn to look hooded and deep-set with straight eyebrows that make his strong brow even more prominent, and he usually has a very distinct wrinkle across his forehead.

and what does he look like in t&b2? certainly nothing like that.

i know that the rising has a much larger budget for the designs than the episodic show, and either way they wouldve had to simplify ryans design to translate it into the episodic format. and we all know the goofy parts of season1 they fixed in the bluray release...

that never was a huge problem, and i wouldnt mind it. yes, i guess ryan couldve been changed for marketing, but he looked like that through-out the entire movie and was hugely popular regardless and BECAUSE of how he looks. but its not just ryan, its that the art direction changed drastically, and it made all the characters look so much more generic and samey.

just after the scene i screencapped above, you can see barnaby and ryan from further away with less detail for a scene that passes by quicker, and you can see that less care was used to make them look good but they still were kept distinctive and different. (and sorry to barnaby, i caught him in in the middle of a movement, so he looks extra goofy.)

t&b2 doesnt even have a lot of scenes that i can remember that really let the chracters emote and make goofy faces: kotetsu has always been hugely expressive! i want to see him make a funny face! kotetsu is also the main character, and part of his thing is being an Old Man (even if he isnt even that old for real, but thats beside the point).

he has wrinkles around his eyes in that shot even if its not hugely detailed, and in contrast i feel he was very smooth in t&b2. the art direction felt as aimless as the bullshit plotline, and equally as uncaring towards established characters!

everyone was drawn very samey. another example to me is the scene in cour1 where thomas inspects keiths pectorals is just sad, because hes been thinned down like everyone else. what was there to inspect? absolutely nothing.

this screencap from s1 has more to inspect than the scene where keith is supposed to be noticeably buff. by the way, this entire scene with the girlies and keith has more personality and goofiness than most of cour2.

and heres a screencap of keith from that episode, where his face shape and features are distinct.

ts been a decade and i know that anime production has gone through changes in this time and netflix-style mass drop of episodes may be harder on people in general, but comparing my s2 screencap below to the screencap above just makes me miss the old style because im scared to but s2 keith next to the one above... his eyebrows were so sadly thin and so were his face and body.

you know, lunatic doesnt even have a distinctly large nose, and his eyes arent even particularly sunken and he doesnt have many wrinkles around his eyes like i think is charming for him, because everyone is just smoothed down... and the above screencap isnt even a good example of it, but the charming thickening of lines at some parts is entirely missing in t&b2 from what i can remember? i feel like the linework used to be stronger and more interesting overall.

anyhow, yes, t&b was also fixed up for the bluray release but i feel like the atrocious-looking parts are kind of funny to look back on. i wonder if theyll be editing s2 visually? (and please revise the entire storyline for yuri too, thanks.)

speaking of s1, where did this entire sentiment disappear to? into the ether?

also, i cant help but be plagued by thoughts because the episode i got those keith screencaps from, kotetsu & barnaby are interviewed by kids who are taking the reporting very seriously, and their reaction to kotetsu saying the person he looks up to is mr.legend is lukewarm at best.

then barnaby talks of his parents and robotics, and they light up, which is funny because barnaby is way more popular, but it also narratively, in my opinion, shows that especially the new generation of sternbild thinks mr.legend isnt that impressive and would be more willing to accept that despite the myths around him, he was a man who severely sucked.

theyre ready for new heroes to commemorate, ones that really deserve it, and they (even in cour1!) dont see lunatic as a villain but an antihero who protects them.

oh well.

thanks for reading, even if you didnt read all of it and just read interesting parts or skimmed through it! i guess writing this was like free therapy for me because i need to deal with how deeply yuris cour2 canon arc affected me lmfao.

i dont think ive ever been so blindsided and taken aback by the total surprise i felt at the direction his arc took and that definitely factored into how deeply it fucked me up because if i couldve anticipated that yuri could for example die, i wouldve been a lot more normal about it.

but out of all things, i cant believe that tiger&bunny would do that to me, and make me see all of that pain... genuinely fucked up not going to lie. fugan and mugan and their father being shot to death is one thing because its shocking of course, but yuri has been in the show since the start.

yuri has existed in the minds of people for over a decade, now, so it feels so unexpected they would so callously kill him off, it feels entirely uncharacteristic, and i feel like its not something that anyone couldve expected, and maybe it wouldve been less shocking if season2 had come out like, say, an another year after the rising...

but still, i dont understand how we make the jump from yuris portrayal and the overall themes of the rising into t&b2 and his role in cour2. its wild, i dont know how to get over it.

breathing through gritted teeth how i published a few fanfics with yuri in a huge hurry before cour2 dropped because i wanted to have them started in case some major yuri details drop and ill feel compelled the rewrite the yuri parts of them but huh... well.... cry laugh

i love imagining scenarios with my favourite characters, but i tend to include yuri in the core ensemble cast of heroes: trying to imagine any post-canon shenanigans feels so hard right now like watching a VHS reel that ran to the end and has to be rewound, and actually makes me incredibly sad.

theres that new audiodrama coming out with ryan featured in it and i cant even be excited because i just get sick, like physically... i guess imagining myself casually engaging with tiger&bunny content makes me feel like im spitting on yuris nonexistent grave. woe is me. fuck you tiger&bunny2 cour2. TL;DR - my opinions, this entire post condensed somehow:

the whole arc for yuri felt like a giant fuck you not only to him and all of the fans too, and same with the ending kinda

ryan was brought back for a fun cameo only because he never became plot-relevant really so what was the point lol? screentime waste

plot points set up in cour1 and further before were ignored and scenes were specifically used to counteract them?!

big misogyny moment for all woman characters of the show

hero ensemble overall was underutilized

new characters/excessive focus on side characters like the fucking mayor and the police chief in cour2 felt gimmicky and unnecessary and generally didnt add much worth. i dont care show me my funny heroes instead

they tried to do too many things and lost sight of why t&b has been so great and why the idea of a more self-conscious t&b is so exciting: of course the show has had a lot of flaws, like nathans initial portrayal, and to imagine a show that has the same spirit but improves on those flaws is amazing. its just not even remotely what we got</3

never expected a flawless show but there are flaws that you can headcanon away and there are flaws that undermine the entire theme of the show this far. i dont know how to make s2 any better after seeing cour2 without totally ignoring any of it happened

cour1 wasnt even bad. it was solid. shit just hit the fan in cour2

the art direction was a huge downgrade, but maybe it was just budget constraints, so i dont know how harsh i want to be about it.

leave a comment if you want, lo, i love to talk, its relaxing. i also mightve mixed shit up so dont embarrass me too much if you notice any overt mixups since i really did marathon the cour once and i dont know how i can bear to look at it again. i also have some confusion over some parts of the story which i detailed above in my manifesto so if you wanna educate me, please do, lmfao...peace out...

#tiger and bunny #tiger and bunny spoilers #meta #t&b2 #t&b

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lilyliveredlittlerichboy · 1 year

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ive been spending way too much time on terf blogs the past few days and this thing i saw has been living in my head rent free like

(Image description: @/fakeboitherottengirl writes, "You learn to chase gender like you learn to chase any other drug. You chase gender euphoria like an anorexic chasing her skeleton. The next piece of clothing, the next haircut, the next injection, the next operation, THATS the thing you need to be happy. After this next binder or HRT or boob job or dress or tube of makeup your body will finally feel "right". And by the time you've eliminated all the things that could be "wrong", when no hair is left out of place and and you "pass" you realize you are still yourself with all the same pain you've been running from getting closer every day. And suddenly there's nowhere left to run. Your hair can't get any shorter. Your chin can't get any smoother. No shade of lipstick fills the void it once promised to. Capitalism lied to you and is actively profiting off of your gender dysphoria/euphoria. Dysphoric people deserve better than the capitalist "solution" of transition." End image description.)

There's so much wrong with this where do I start. (Soooo tempted to just throw out the whole suitcase but I think there's maybe half a thought in there worth keeping. So here goes)

All of the procedures you've listed above are things cis people do as well. Buy makeup and have boob jobs and get laser hair removal, buy gender-affirming (or gender nonconformity-affirming) clothing and jewellery. Yet somehow it's only bad when trans people do it? Capitalism leaves hollow voids of suffering in all of us. How we fill it is each of our own choice, and all of the things mentioned above are morally neutral. Including drug addiction and even eating disorders, because we believe in a thing called bodily autonomy. heard of it?

The capitalist solution of transitioning: Okay yes lots of trans people spend money on transitioning. A lot of cis people also spend money on gender-affirming clothes, accessories and surgeries. Capitalism has a solution for everything. It's true. BUT: not everyone's transition involves a lot of money, and most trans people are poor af. We cut our own (or each others) hair, get clothes from free clothes swaps and use other forms of mutual aid. Changing your name and pronouns is free! And yes we have to exist under capitalism, great observation sherlock. anything else?

And what, exactly, is a better solution for dysphoric people? Since you acknowledge they exist. Is it to live with their pain forever? I mean, you radfemmy types take enormous pride in suffering and make suffering the very core of your ideology so I can't say I'm surprised. Tell Me, has your suffering enlightened you? Do you know things no one else does? Did you find the light. And why am I reminded of tradcath imagery where you have to suffer to make up for being born, until you die... is this the kind of imagery you strive to invoke? Is your suffering the yoke you toil under forever, to make up for the wrongness in your soul and the void in your heart. Do we all need to find Jesus? Tell Me? (or please maybe just help us dismantle capitalism. yes it wants to sell you solutions to problems that didn't exist until capitalism told you you had them!! yes it hurts everyone!! we agree on this!!)

tldr suffering is great and if you embrace it you won't have to participate in capitalism anymore. but it's fine to participate in capitalism actually, as long as you're being nice and cis about it i guess. womanhood is only suffering and manhood is only violence and there is no room for genuine joy in the human experience. this is what you're telling me yes? okay. cool. okay

anyway I've found so much love and peace from being trans, not really from changing my body (which I BARELY have and still don't really know if I will) but from being part of loving, accepting, truly radical communities. Going from being othered to being part of the othereds. Community is the true value of the queers. Probably you radfems would agree about your own!! You love your communities and want to keep them safe!! See, us too. And we don't have to fight each other to keep ourselves safe. In fact fighting makes all of us less safe! None of us want that.

Anyway it's so difficult to have nuanced (or any) conversations about these things and i appreciate you taking the time to read this. and as much as I understand that my "why can't we all get along uwu 🥺" thing is naive and idealistic, I would much prefer to be naive, idealistic and hopeful, than full of distress and fear and despair at the state of the world - and the state of feminist, body neutral and autonomy affirming activism. (A despair we share, I assure you! Being hopeful anyway is an active choice.)

Hope is hard. It is! I have a lot of practice cultivating mine and it still doesn't come easy. The first step is believing you can have hope, and that things can get better. The next step is to find out what you, personally, can do to actively make things better for people around you. Start hyper-local, log off from the internet for a lil while, consult older activists around you. Millions of people doing tiny things will add up to bigger changes, and you have to believe change is possible. You have to. Otherwise you will get too content in your own misery and stop growing as a person and stop actually making the world better.

"You have to act as if it were possible to radically transform the world. And you have to do it all the time." ― Angela Davis

Anyway, one thing that doesn't help is trying to take away people's bodily autonomy. Whether that's restricting access to abortion, or access to transition, or access to cosmetic surgery, or ability to do sex work, or kink. Just cus you personally think any/all of these are oppressive and evil, doesn't mean you get to make choices for other people on how to live their lives.

Bodily autonomy.

If you're against abortions, don't get one.

If you're against transition, don't get one.

If you're against kink, don't do it.

Some people don't get a choice, such as victims of sex trafficking or Hershel Walker's mistresses when he arranges their abortions. But that doesn't mean you should take the choice away from everyone.

#so glad to have found genuine joy in my trans experience tbh #radfem pipeline #terfs cw #terfs do interact #if you dare #radblr #radfem safe #radical feminism #like can we at least agree that there are MANY. ways to respond as an individual to the pressures of capitalism and patriarchy #and being trans and being radfem are 2 and they are both somewhat understandable #unless you are one & are looking at the other in which case.#this division between us has been inflated enough that we simply cannot see past our differences #when i maintain and will forever that #we have more in common than we don't #at abortion protests you will stand side by side with us because we know as far as the powers that be are concerned #all of us are evil and need to be silenced #sigh #queer stuff #trans stuff #this post has been on my drafts for over a month and it will invite the terflings into my notes once more #which is the main reason ive put off posting it #arguing with terfs just takes up too much time that is much better used elsewhere tbh #and yet past me tagged this with a bunch of terf finders #and i cba to take them out tbh #maybe someone will read this and it'll make the gears turn to deradicalise someone from radfemism #all men are not evil btw #there we go edited it a bit added some more now it's ready to go out. terfs in my notifs in 3 .... 2 .... 1 ....

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frogwithhatto · 2 years

Text

Without you Pt 1

Pairing: Rain x Swiss

Summary: Things have gotten out of hand for Rain. He feels like he’s drowning in his thoughts and he can’t seem to get back to the surface anymore. But where’s Swiss who’s supposed to be there for him?

Tw: angst, mentions of blood and injuries, anxiety, panic, alcohol is consumed, mentions of smoking

Authors note: I’m sorry this is pure angst. So please keep that in mind when reading!

„P-please help m-me“

It’s all he’s able to whisper. Tears streaming down his face, it’s a miracle there’s even fluid left in the water ghoul’s body as he had been crying for hours. By now he feels nothing but the weight of his own thoughts, his body had gone numb a long time ago.

He’s unable to see the multi ghoul’s face against the light flooding into the closet he had been hiding in. It felt like a safe space for him, dark and not too big, the scent of Swiss lingering on the clothes. It encapsulated him from the world, from the eyes he could still feel lingering on his body, following his every move. In an attempt to get his mate to come closer he reaches out a shaky hand.

„Oh.. how long have I been in here?“ he thinks „the blood has already dried“

As he takes note of the state of his hands, he chokes out a sob. Anxiety wells up again, what if he is going to judge him? Blame him for ruining his night? Or even worse leave him?

He curls in on himself even more. Maybe if he makes himself small enough he can just disappear and stop taking up unnecessary space. The movement causes sharp pain to shoot through his torso. But Rain had stopped caring about what happens to him or his body.

—

They had been at one of the tables the band Ghouls chatting with each other and simply enjoying their night off. The clergy had hosted a party for all of the siblings and the ghouls. Aparrently because „the project had been going so well recently“ but they all knew it was just an excuse for Papa IV to celebrate Halloween early.

Swiss knew Rain had been nervous about the event for quite some time now. Crowds tended to overwhelm him and all the noise they caused didn’t help either. But the multi ghoul had promised Rain to stay with him the whole night and that they would leave as soon as it got too much. (Of course he would’ve done the same without promising something but Swiss knew how reassurance helped with Rain‘s anxiety)

As the night got longer the drinks got stronger, Swiss had to admit that Dewdrop and Aether had gotten him quite drunk. He hadn’t planned on drinking a lot in the first place but somehow it had happened. To no surprise though as they were playing some dumb drinking game. As Aether was getting them another round of drinks Swiss suddenly noticed the absence of a certain water ghoul. He couldn’t quite remember when the last time he had seen his mate was, at least not in the state he was in right now.

„He must’ve gone to talk to someone else.“ the multi ghoul thought and shrugged it off.

„Swiss? You r-ready for another roundd??“ Dewdrop slurred waving a hand in front of his face. The fire ghoul wasn’t quite sober either and accidentally lightly slapped his cheek. Which caused Swiss to snap out of his thoughts and them both to start giggling once they realised what had happened.

„What’s so funny you two?“ Aether asked interrupting their chuckling as he was setting down a tray with shots and some kind of Longdrink for them three.

„N-nothin suugarr! I’m jus‘ clumsy that’ssss it.“ Dewdrop managed to get out, somehow the first thing he seemed to loose whenever he was drunk was his ability to speak clearly.

„Well that’s no news Dewy!“ Aether smiled as he proceeded to pass out the new drinks. Swiss nodding a thanks in (what he believed) Aether‘s direction. His sight had gotten quite blurred due to the alcohol.

They played a few more rounds but Swiss decided to leave the table some time after Dewdrop had started to get overly clingy towards Aether. He wasn’t in a mood to watch a full blown make-out session between these two.

Feeling the warmth of the alcohol still coursing through his body he decided to go outside for a quick smoke. Whenever he passed especially dark corners he would hear some whispers or muffled chuckles. Party guests who had chosen to wander off to get some more privacy but the further he got away from the party location the less people he encountered. He must admit his walk wasn’t the most target-oriented as he stumbled and staggered through the now deserted hallways of the clergy.

As Swiss made his way past one of the big windows pointing towards the courtyard he was aiming for, he caught a look at the big illuminated clock at the opposite wall of it. Immediately he stopped in his tracks, rubbing his eyes and having to double take at the time it showed.

„3am?? What?? When did it get so late?“ he blurted out panic starting to rise in him as he tries to remember when the last time he had seen Rain was.

„It must have been hours ago“ Swiss whispers to himself as he realises. Instantly the alcohol’s effect on him stops as worry fills his mind. His gut tells him something isn’t right. It wasn’t unusual for the other ghoul to suddenly leave social gatherings but normally he always made sure to inform Swiss about it.

As Swiss catches himself starting to overthink what could’ve happened to his beloved ghoul he stops himself. In an attempt to calm himself he takes a deep breath.

„No I must find him. Now.“ he mumbles as he starts making his way towards Rain‘s room hoping he had just gone to bed and forgotten to tell the multi ghoul. But deep inside Swiss knew that wasn’t the case, that something was very off.

—

After scrambling around for half an hour there was still no sight of Rain. Even though he had looked in the ghoul’s room, the common room of the band ghouls, the kitchen and even gone back to the party to be sure he hadn’t just overlooked Rain due to his drunken state.

With every minute he hadn’t found his mate Swiss’s worries had increased. He wouldn’t be able to stop himself from bursting into tears any longer. His hands tremble as he fidgets with one of Rain’s picks hanging around his neck. The water Ghoul had gifted it to him during a particularly vulnerable moment in Swiss‘s room. Rain had spent weeks trying to figure out the right way to make a necklace out of it.

He had noticed how sometimes Swiss just needed to busy his hands to keep himself grounded. Then it struck him, his eyes widened as he realised where he hadn’t looked yet. His own room.

Normally the walk from the ball room to his room would’ve taken at least 10 minutes, Swiss made it there in 5. Out of breath he paused steadying himself at the door frame, his heart felt like it was about to burst. The multi ghoul took a shaky breath and opened the door. He saw… nothing just his empty bed and darkness as no lights were turned on either.

„No Rain. He isn’t here. Why isn’t he here. I should’ve looked out for him more.“

He felt tears well up and was about to close the door again ready turn the entire clergy upside down if it meant getting his Rain back. As he heard a quite whimper coming from… his closet?

#the band ghost #ghost band #nameless ghouls #ghost headcanons #frog headcanons #rain ghoul #swiss ghoul

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maximumsunshine · 2 years

Note

Good luck tomorrow!!!! I hope you find the answers you're looking for, and whatever the issue is is manageable and resolved quickly! I believe in you!!!

Tests were today. Made the post late night and stayed up all night so I'm not sure when tomorrow became today.

ANYWAY

The tests went well. MRI results in my portal nut in medical speak. No Nuclear Med test results yet. That was an interesting test. "Hey we're going to IV you this med that is the equivalent of two really fatty meals so you are SUPER going to want to puke. Here is a puke bag. Try not to puke though just because we know puking sucks. And no we can't let you take your zofran because that sort of defeats the purpose. Sorry. But once the drug is administered you pretty much lose the going to puke feeling. So we just gotta get through this little bit if meds. It's a small amount but we administer it slowly because if given it too fast you will for sure puke. Wait. You mean if i let you lay down on your left side (I had been sitting up) and arrange your arms just so, you can probably completely even avoid serious nausea?! Give me a minute, I'll go find a gurney." And thus I avoided puking. AND THEN she pulled another syringe of meds out of a lead tube, incases it in a smaller lead shield, and then injected THAT directly into my veins. Lol. So yeah, I'm radioactive right now. Not sure when my system will flush that bit. But I find it funny. I watched her remove the syringe from this massive lead case and put it in a smaller lead shield and I'm just like, "Oh. It's RADIOACTIVE radioactive. Lol"

Anyway, no nuke test results in yet. And I don't understand the MRI results. But my doctor will be able to figure out what's up soon enough and will explain it so I can understand.

I sort of feel like I'm going crazy. Like maybe nothing is wrong. After years of doctors invalidating me telling me I'm just fat, maybe I'm really just fat. But my blood work does validate that something is going in. And that something started when my gallbladder was removed. And we KNOW my gallbladder pissed my liver off because it made the surgery much harder. And then my liver spewed bile just loose into my abdominal cavity for a month and i got sepsis and hadvto have a drain installed. Like we have all this evidence that even I can understand that my liver is fucked up and it ties into my gallbladder not being yoinked fast enough. And we know it took as long as it did for my gallbladder issue to even BE FOUND because when I told my old doctor i was feeling pain and pointed to roughly where my gallbladder was, she tolde it was just me being fat. Those words. Cramps from being fat. Doctors also blamed 5 years of severe anemia that led to many a blood transfusion on "me not making my own blood" because I was fat. And THAT was cancer. So yeah.

When a doctor dismisses a symptom as you just being fat, get a new doctor before you get a new symptom.

Anyway, I have a better pcp now who takes me seriously and doesn't call me fat. I have a better hemotologist oncologist who takes my cancer history seriously and does regular checks and has never called me fat. He was the one that found my liver numbers in his routine blood tests he orders fir me and sounded the alarm which explained the nausea and fatigue and got me into a great GI doctor. Who omg he listened to me talk and talk. He took fucking detailed notes on every word i said. He let me give him my full GI history and all my current symptoms. First visit lasted an hour and I left there with more blood work ordered and these two major tests ordered. He took me so seriously he ordered major tests in the first visit. I'm loves him. I love them all.

I settled for shit doctors that almost let me die from cancer all while promising me i didn't have cancer (literally) all while refusing to run any tests.

I went from wearing this to my hemotologist oncologist and him finding it funny.

To no longer needing it. Because all my new doctors take me seriously and run tests.

I knew i was dying. I was told I had the best hemotologist oncologist in Columbus. So what was the point in finding a different one? Yeah. Well the assessment of his abilities came from his coworkers at Ohio Health. All of that bullshit was Ohio Health. When I showed up in the ER with a hemoglobin of 4 and had my cancer found and removed within 2 days, that wasn't an Ohio Health ER. I didn't just fire a doctor or two. I fired an entire medical system.

Anyway that was an unexpected rant. But I have complicated feeling about medical shit. Like trying to reconcile years of medical abuse that ended in serious trauma just over a year ago. With the overwhelming change in quality of care I'm getting now. It's a full 180. I'm trying to catch my breath. Which, i guess will be easier when this liver bullshit is figured out and corrected.

Then i can focus my efforts on being retested for asthma. Maybe get care for that. Figure out my headaches. Need an mri on my neck for the constant pinched nerves in my shoulders. So much to move on to when the liver is figured out. But there is great comfort in knowing without a doubt my pcp has my back.

/end rant

Oh. That shirt is a 3xl and in good shape if anyone needs it. Cover shipping and it's yours. But, I'm begging you that if you're thinking you could use this shirt, to please just fire your doctor(s) and hire new ones. It could literally save your life! Anyway, hit me up if you want the shirt. Open offer to everyone who is losing patience with their doctor.

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nonnydog · 2 years

Text

Thats not as bad of a cliffhanger as I thought it would be, actually. Dgm Hallow reflection (+spoilers!) below. Long post!

(I wrote this right after I finished Hallow a week ago but Ive been ditzying it up so its late. May expand kn some points later)

(That screenshot is technically relevant bc its during Tykis speech which is a super important scene, but also I just. Really like how Hallow portrays Allen. Its all just very very pretty.)

Everything seems to be trying to set up complexity—obviously, thats obvious, agh.

Kanda views the Order as an enemy but works with them for Alma and to make up for awakening Allen/Nea. Tyki speaks to Allen about the duality (trinity?) of possessing innocence and being an exorcist and being a noah and being hunted by Apocryphos (who is innocence) and etcetcetcetc. Allen himself feels it, as he is confined and beat by the Order. An akuma lives (remains unsaved as well) because Link, representing the Order, confines him. His “Noahness” provokes his home, while his “Exorcistness” prevents him from allying with the Noah.

[is Link actually dead?]

A point I find interesting is that Allen wouldve probably went with Apocryphos if he hadnt killed Cross. He talks about how he can seperate Allen and 14, something which Allen definitely wants at that point because it would solve all his problems. When they first meet, Allen only hits Apocryphos and saves him from Tyki because he saw the memory of him murdering Cross.

[is Cross actually dead?]

The Alma Karma and Kanda arc SLAPPED. I read it several years ago, but…its just very well done. Tragic. I love it.

[Kandas not dead! Yo]

[Ill stop now.]

—

I actually really like Tykis speech to Allen and Allens choice to leave everything behind to figure out what the fuck he wants and what he is, on his own. Its… weirdly fitting. I wouldnt have thought of it, but I cannot think of a better direction for this story to go.

Its almost coming-of-age-esq. Everything is against Allen right now, even his own head. Im really excited to continue the manga from where Hallow left off. I know its still ongoing (and I dont have the money to buy more than a few volumes right now), but I heard Hallow ends at around vol22-23. Theres currently 27 volumes, I think. I really like this story and where its going.

—

Im sad at how little Lavi was in Hallow. He probably wouldve taken up too much time—they only had 13 episodes and it was mainly focused on Kanda and Allen (which I love!).

I also wanted more. Nea. Noah. Mana. I want to know all of the things about them. Allen was just about to speak with Nea, just try to understand him and talk a little, when Apocryphos came in and interrupted. Maybe we get a scene like that in the manga… though, its also difficult to tell. Nea is trying to possess Allen, he may not want to “chat.” I just want to know more about them.

—

Id like to talk a bit about Nea, Mana, Allen, Cross, and the Earl now… theyre a complicated bunch.

From what Ive heard online and from the 2006 anime+Hallow, heres what Ive figured out:

Cross knew Nea and Mana before Nea died. Nea died 20yrs before Allen was born. Mana and Nea are brothers (twin?), though I think Nea was the older one(?).

Mana went a bit bonkers after Nea died. Cross says he may have not even really remembered everything while he was raising Allen.

Allen is conflicted about Mana. Hes unsure if Mana loved “Allen” because he would be Nea or because he was Allen. (Points to dream where Allen is following Mana who keeps calling him the wrong name.)

Cross promised Nea he would look after Mana because Nea would rewaken near Mana eventually.

Nea is 14 and hes attempting to take over Allens mind. He wants to destroy the Earl and take over as the Earl (or at least thats what he told Earl).

The Earl, despite being the one to kill Nea when he betrayed him, still loves Nea very much. He desperately wants Nea back at his side. The other Noah, notably Sheril, are… uncomfortable with accepting the traitor.

Now, lets get into more sussy territory.

Mana is the Earl. Big “maybe.” They both wear top hats is my main evidence lol. Also Ive heard some things about it online.

Other notable things I saw in Hallow:

Allen was a little shit before Mana died. Cross notes this in the last episode of Hallow and we see some of it firsthand in earlier eps. Apparently, he adopted a lot of Manas traits (politeness and formal speech, notably) to deal with his grief.

Cross has dad energy for Allen. You cant take care of a child for that long and that intensely without some paternal instinct kicking in.

Similarly, Allen definitely felt some affection for Cross. Though their relationship is often joked as being terrible (and it certainly wasnt good, especially considering that Cross took in Allen so he could foster 14), Allen is hella pissed at Apocryphos for killing Cross.

The name thing—Cross says before Apocryphos kills him, something along the lines of “He didnt tell me his name was Allen when I met him.” Was this meant to imply his observation of Mana, or that Allen was never really Allen? Sighs.

Also, the whole Walker thing. Just very sweet in general.

Interesting that Tyki is the one to give Allen the “come to jesus” speech. Tyki is established to be a Noah who still really values and holds onto whats left of his human life, so he (to some extent) can sympathize with Allen more than other Noah. He tells Allen to leave every side and figure shit out himself, something which doesn’t immediately benefit Tyki, but will benefit Allen.

—

Theres an overwhelming sense of resisting/being uncomfortable with ones life being on a predetermined path. This is an fitting theme to introduce in a story that focuses heavily on religious aspects. God in dgm and hallow is an… odd figure.

#i wrote this!#dgm hallow spoilers #analysis #somewhat #2868

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locria-writes · 2 years

Text

untitled pt. 4/?

general notes -- friendship with rival-kun and enemy-kun has ended, elliot is best boy

last edit -- 06/07/22

IV.

17 February, 2X52

“Janny, why am I here?”

“Because we’re friends?”

“Yeah, but why am I at your hair appointment?”

“Our hair appointment.”

Symphora looked up from her phone, frowning as she stared at the blonde, who was currently engrossed while tapping through various hairstyles on a tablet. They were currently in a private room in one of the salons that Januaria’s mother owned, seated in comfortable plush chairs around a small table filled with an assortment of fancy finger foods and sweet drinks, waiting for their appointment. “Explain, please.”

“I kinda sorta maybe booked you with me?”

“Janny.”

“What? Wouldn’t it be fun to change up your hair?” Januaria twirled a lock of her hair, pursing her lips as she continued to tap through the photos. “And if it looks like shit, you can just dye your hair back.”

“I’m not worried about that.”

“I’ve already got something picked out for you, Syma. You’ll love it, promise.”

“For the last time, I’m not going blonde – “

“I didn’t say blonde.” She held up the tablet. “You like pink, and you like purple, so why not pick both and go magenta?”

She had to admit, the shade did look really pretty, and it wasn’t too loud of a colour that it made her uncomfortable. It was just a little rebellious, enough to raise eyebrows, but not enough to really cause a stir, and Januaria really did find something that she loved. “Okay, fair.”

“See? When have I ever let you down?” Januaria smiled smugly as she set the tablet down.

“Chronologically, or alphabetically?”

“Never mind, don’t answer.” She reached over to take a lock of Symphora’s hair. “What about a haircut?”

“I’m starting to think this is just a really long-winded way of telling me I’m ugly.” Her hair had never been something she minded extra attention to – she kept it long, almost waist-length, and left its colour an untouched brown-black. She once heard whispers that her mother had a similar hairstyle, and while of course, she wasn’t a sentimental enough person to let something like petty gossip affect her, but it did leave a strange feeling in her chest if she let herself dwell on it long enough.

“I never said that, and I just think you need some change. Like, we’re in our last year before lyceum. Let loose before you kill yourself from overwork.”

“Well, if I’m going an unnatural colour, you should too.”

“What, no way! Mom’ll kill me, then send my corpse to Pomona to get lectured by Nan. More importantly, tell me what happened yesterday!”

“Wow, nice segue, and if I knew, I would’ve already told you.”

What Januaria referred to, was the unprecedented and unexpected plus one Symphora had very reluctantly dragged along to their cheap and greasy dinner last night, who was none other than the societal menace himself, Regulus Burakgazi. She still hadn’t really wrapped her head around all that happened, to be completely honest.

After Cantrell had dismissed them, Symphora had gone out to the monorail stop, not paying much attention to her surroundings, but enough that she recognized Regulus’ unfamiliar presence there. Normally, he got a ride home (she knew that because most days ended with them glaring at each other while waiting for their respective rides), and she had never seen him head off to take public transit. She wasn’t sure how much was his asocial personality, and how much was just his father forbidding fun (again, she loathed to admit that she could empathize with him in that regard). She knew it had to have been either his first time, or one of the few times he had ever done it, because he kept sneaking glances at her that possessed less ire and disdain, and more worry and uncertainty.

While she would have loved to just ditch him there and leave him to fend for herself, she knew her father would be very disappointed in her for letting ‘one of their kind’ die on a trip on public transit, and he would probably punish by banning her from going out with friends. So she let him follow her on, purposely chose a seat where she could keep an eye on him, and she made sure he got off at the right stop. It was all terribly annoying.

“Why are you following me?”

“Why are you following me from the front?”

“I swear, I’m literally this close to kicking you.”

Her mood had been completely spoiled by his stupidity, but at least she found some joy in his aghast expression when he realized she was heading to Old Matrona – a dingy little diner that had long been a favourite of Harmonia Institute students on Caelus One. It was run by an old woman everyone called Matrona (her name was actually Amanda), along with her son and his family. Truthfully, it was a rather ugly place, décor left unchanged for what looked like thirty years, and a menu that was probably created before then. The food wasn’t amazing, and it was always too greasy and too salty, but everyone acted like they loved it.

In essence, it was the kind of place people like them had no business going to, but did so anyway out of some feeble rejection of their social class.

The only thing funnier that Regulus’ expression was the collective double-take their little dinner party had when they showed up. Januaria had put her head down in an attempt to stifle her laughter; Elliot kept looking back and forth between Symphora and Regulus, like he couldn’t believe his eyes (and who could blame him?); Donut nearly dropped his fry and spluttered a few times in confusion; poor Marius had just taken a drink and nearly spat it out; and Angelus started laughing, albeit more out of nervousness than the pure, unadulterated amusement of Januaria.

Symphora sat down next to Januaria, who sounded near tears from laughing, and looked over at Regulus. “Not where you were headed?”

Lacking his usual bravado, Regulus weakly glared at her as he reluctantly took the seat next to Elliot. “No, this is exactly where I wanted to go.”

“Sure, totally believe you.” She smiled saccharinely. “How long have you guys been here, and why haven’t you ordered?”

“About half an hour now, probably,” Angelus said, glancing warily at Regulus. “So, uh, I guess we’re now a group of seven?”

It was a painfully awkward, but deliciously hilarious dinner, in her humble opinion. His barely-concealed disgust while eating was probably one of the highlights of her year so far.

Her phone started ringing, and Symphora was tempted to just hang up, until she noticed it was Elliot. Accepting the call, she noticed he looked awfully distraught. “Oh hey, what’s up?”

“Ooh, is that Elli? Put him on speaker.” Januaria leaned over as she placed the phone on the middle of the table. “Hey, Elli.”

“Hi, Janny.” Elliot smiled weakly. “Syma…did you make a mistake?”

“I don’t believe I make mistakes.”

“Okay, then you said you were gonna handle my clothes for today’s party, right?”

“More like I said I could figure something out, and Janny butted in saying she’d take over, but yeah, something to that effect.”

“So you arranged for it to be delivered to my place, right?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re not handling anyone else’s clothes, right?”

“Elli, I’m hurt. You think I’d cheat on you?”

“Syma, I love you and I sort of trust you with my life, but I can’t accept this.”

“Why, does it not fit?” She narrowed her eyes at the blonde next to her. “Janny, I thought you knew what you were doing when you chased him for his measurements?”

“This suit is 14 000 denarii! I can’t accept this! It’s worth more than my life!”

“Aw, Elli, don’t sell yourself short. You’re worth at least 14 001 denarii,” Januaria said sympathetically.

“Wow, that was only 14 000 denarii?” Symphora nodded thoughtfully. “Janny, you really outdid yourself. I thought it was gonna be at least 16 000 denarii.”

“Guys, do you even know how much that is? It’s literally a quarter of our tuition!”

“A fifth of our tuition,” she corrected. “And so what? It’s a gift, don’t sweat it.”

“My dad has to work four months to earn this much! It’s really too expensive…!”

Symphora sighed, tapping her fingers on her knee. “Elliot, listen to me, okay?”

“Okay?”

“If it’s too expensive, just wear it this once, and resell, okay? Make sure to say it’s a Janny design – “

“Wait a second, Janny, you designed this?”

“Bitch, what the hell do you think I’m studying fine arts for?”

“Guys, shut up please, I’m speaking. Anyway, say that, then someone called Julius Claes – “

“Julius Claes? Like the Vice Chancellor?”

“Yeah, like the Vice Chancellor. Okay, so he’ll buy it from you for at least 20 000 denarii, got it? Then you can pay me back the 14 000, and you can pocket the rest.”

“This feels really illegal.”

“It’s not, it’s just business.”

“And why Julius Claes?”

“Oh, that’s my dad.” Januaria wrinkled her nose.

“He’s your what? How?”

“Well, dear Elli, you see when a man and a woman love each other very much – “

“Don’t tell spread misinformation, Janny.” Symphora lightly kicked her from under the table, which really translated to a gentle tap. “Who says love has to be involved?”

“Guys, I think we’re getting really off-track here.”

“Are we? Weren’t you the one who asked about my dad?”

“I really can’t wear this suit. I’m sorry, but it’s just way too much.”

“Elliot, listen to your elders.” Technically the truth, since Januaria was about seven months older than the both of them, and she was a day older than him. “There’s not a lot of people attending today’s party, but everyone there is an investor in the Antevorte Foundation, which means they have more money than they know what to do with it. All you have to do is dress to impress, smile prettily, and be your sweet little self, okay? Then you’ll have yourself a sponsor, and then you can think about paying me back.”

“Okay, but what if I don’t get a sponsor?”

“Sounds fake, but then just think of the suit as an investment from me, okay? I don’t really care, but if it bothers you so much, you can pay me back whenever, or pay a denarius a day.”

Elliot was quiet for a while, obviously deep in consternation, before he finally sighed and nodded. “Okay, fine, you win.”

“As I always do.”

“I’ll see you tonight, I guess, and see you Monday, Janny.”

When the call ended, Symphora sighed, putting her phone away. “Are you sure you don’t want to come tonight?”

Januaria laughed, shaking her head. “No, those parties are so boring. I’d rather go to Claudia’s party.”

“Lucky you.” She didn’t look forward to hours of smiling politely and being forced to play nice with people she found insufferable.

#personal writing catastrophe #i kept moving stuff around and i'm still not entirely happy with this but oh well #next chapter is a doozy of info i feel like i wrote a history textbook lol #more regulus next chapter lmao poor enemy-kun hasn't even been properly introduced

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twdmusicboxmystery · 2 years

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FTWD 5x15 - Discussion: Whether Alicia is Dead or Alive

Continuing our discussion about the latest episode, Amina:

@twdmusicboxmystery:

So, I'm wondering what the consensus is on whether Alicia died or not. I keep going back and forth about it. First, I thought yes. Then, seeing the episode, it's really ambiguous. Then the show runner said it was her last episode, so I thought yes. Overall, the fact that they aren't making it super obvious makes me think there will be more down the road.

Also, I can't help but feel like the way this episode is being treated is VERY similar to how Madison's "death" was treated. There was no TTD afterward, and not much fanfare, even though she was a major female character who apparently died. I remember they just had Kim Dickens release a statement saying she'd enjoyed her time on the show and it was her last episode. But as with Alicia, we didn't see a definitive dead body, or walker bite, or anything like that.

Granted, the actress returning could be all flashbacks or something, but again, with it being really ambiguous, I can't help but think they're simply setting up another reunion down the road. The other thing is, if she had died definitively, then the possibility of surviving a bite would still be nebulous. Because, in the end, she would have still died. But with it being up in the air, they may be setting her up for long term survival. Like Beth.

@wdway:

I've been back and forth about whether Alicia is alive or if we are seeing her afterlife. But then I thought surely the afterlife would not include walkers. Of course, unless they're trying to say she went to hell. It was probably the second time I watch the episode that it really sunk in that Daniel told Alicia that he would see her again. He was really very forceful about it, and I remember you have said many times that when they make statements like that they will come true. So, Alicia is alive.

Also the article I read over a week ago the actress said that she will show up occasionally.

I remember that the last time TTD aired Chris said that they would be back after the season finale. So, we should get some information from that hopefully.

Another thought about treatment at Grady. Dawn kept mentioning how people came back to Grady even after they left, and I've always thought maybe it's because once they leave they start getting sick again and that's why they returned. I do think it's pretty clear that Noah didn't know diddly-squat about what was going on and he obviously was not getting treatments at least not for a bite. I think he truly was slave labor.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Good point about Daniel. I forgot about that. I suppose all the other stuff you pointed out too (IV bag and all) also point toward her survival.

@galadrieljones:

Yes, I just watched the [Youtube] video where @twdmusicboxmystery talks about dialogue and how tptb use it to kind of make promises, ie: Daniel saying “I’ll see you again” felt like a promise. Ofc Daniel is a spiritual character and that could be some sort of allusion to the afterlife. But I also feel like Alicia is alive. I think the fact that she wakes up so pretty and refreshed is meant to appear ambiguous, and I think that it does call back to Madison’s ambiguous death a great deal. We never see her die. We don’t see her dead body.

With Nick, we see the light go out of his eyes, and in the next episode, we see him turn in Luciana’s arms. We know Nick is dead. But not Alicia. And it makes me think about how we Beth, we don’t see her lifeless eyes. We don’t see her turned, don’t see her burial or her grave. The last time we see her, she appears to be asleep in Daryl’s arms. Even characters like Carl and Andrea, whose deaths we don’t see, we HEAR the gunshots, and we know they’ve been bitten and that they are dying. Michonne is also basically the common corroborator for both of those deaths. There is no question that they died.

I feel like any question is a confirmation that a character could return. So that’s my take on Alicia. I don’t know if what we saw was 100% true. It could have been colored by her own perception. She feels better, so we see her looking better. But I do feel that she’s alive!!

I have questions about Noah. He has that massive scar on the back of his leg, which the director is sure to show us. There was a time I thought perhaps he’d also been bitten, but you’re right that he seems rather clueless. I feel he would have told Daryl if he knew something. The thing is, I suppose it’s possible that he did, but he was such a weak character, it’s hard to believe he knew very much or perhaps he’d seem some things but couldn’t put two and two together. He seems like Dawn’s whipping boy, which is sad.

That said, I am also then questioning how much Dawn knew. She looks truly shocked when Beth is shot. Do we think she was earnestly going to let Beth go in exchange for Noah? If so, then wouldn’t that suggest Beth and Noah are, for her purposes, interchangeable? I don’t know. Like @frangi said, a lot of what was written back then was probably purposely vague so Gimple could have the wiggle room to fill in the blanks later, going in a couple different directions. I think, based on Noah’s weakness, it could go either way: either he didn’t know anything, or he did know something, he just couldn’t figure out how to articulate what he knew

@wdway:

Here are some thoughts about the goodbye between Alicia and Strand. I mentioned before I thought it might be foreshadowing of what we'll see between Daryl and Carol, and I truly think it's a strong possibility. I think there will be something that happens that will magnify their differences. There will be some kind of mission, a reason that Daryl is leaving.

I really hope that Ezekiel and Carol have mended their relationship, but I think it would be very important for Carol not to leave. Her staying would be a type of completion to her storyline because sooner or later Carol would always leave, so for her to stay, to consciously make the choice of staying, would mean an awful lot for the character Carol.

I do think that Carol and Daryl's last moments together might be them saying, I love you [as Strand and Alicia did]. We'll know that it's a, I love you, you're my brother, you're my sister but it will just be fuel for the fire for the carylers. With all the trauma that everyone has experienced by the carylers meltdown about the honeymoon spin-off. I would really love it if they would just end it in a way that would leave no doubt that Carol loves Ezekiel and that Daryl is not pining after her. If it ends with an unclear meaning that their love for each other is not romantic than, I love you will leave a big question mark for the carylers.

That's another reason I'm now believe Alicia is alive. It truly does not make sense if she died without a reunion with her mother. It's does not enhance the story if she died, and it would be really a senseless act of cruelty on the writers part. I know that they kill people all the time but there's always some type of reason for it, this would just be cruel not something the audience could get over easily.

@galadrieljones:

Yes! Just like Beth died before getting a true reunion with Daryl. What’s the point of giving Beth her own special arc, separate from TF, an arc that essentially leads to nothing, if they were just going to kill her? If they wanted to just give Daryl something to be sad about Beth, why didn’t they just kill her in a normal, obvious fashion rather than have her go through this whole other thing first? It doesn’t make sense!

@frangipanilove:

Loved your thoughts on the episode @twdmusicboxmystery! I think you guys are absolutely spot in in recognizing the 17-days template. I never thought of that in anything other than a superficial way, so I find it super interesting and definitely something worth diving into.

You touched on something that I tried to write a comment about after the episode. I chewed over too much and deleted it, but I’ll try again, and hopefully avoid writing a whole incoherent novel about it. It’s based around the cool/cold/frosty/snow/Polaris/polar bear stuff I’ve been going on about for years. I say years, because I feel like it’s only recently, we’ve been given enough pieces of the puzzle to fully appreciate what it’s about. And I’m not saying I have it all figured out, but I found there were several new pieces in the episode, and I’ll try to explain.

First, I’d like to remind y’all of Abe’s comment about “Alpha to Omega, battlefield to beach”. We were given a few very noticeable beach-references, like Charlie saying, “I got to see the beach”, and the fact that Alicia woke up on the beach. I don’t know about you guys, but for me personally, I fully interpret Alicia waking up on the beach, her fever gone, as tptb telling us that she’s alive. Everything I say is based off of that interpretation.

Imo, the way we saw her wake up is super significant. First and foremost, her fever was gone. This is MAJOR in the mythology of TWDU. It’s a literal paradigm shift and represents an entirely new chapter. The old chapter is now finished, it has reached an END. And yes, there are still some episodes left, plus, we already suspected something like because it’s been hinted at for a while. But as far as the GA is concerned, this is brand new information. And we’ve never seen it confirmed like this before, with a main character.

But from now on we must consider that the fever doesn’t always kill. This particular wording is intentional. And the way Alicia woke up is similarly intentional. We’ve seen her through this back half looking terribly I’ll, burning up with fever, yet she kept on living.

Let me take you back to 1x1, when Morgan had Rick tied to the bed, fearing he would die and turn. He was very concerned with Rick’s temperature and refused to release him until his fever was gone and his temperature gone down. He touched his forehead and said to Duane “he seems cool”.

COOL is the operative word here, and I refer to what I’ve written before on the cool/cold/frosty etc theme. Here, Morgan is explaining the entire premise of the show to Rick, but also to the audience. We learn, in this very first episode, the BEGINNING, that “it’s the fever that kills. And then they come back”. Morgan didn’t have all the details, but he knew that it’s the fever that kills. And through Morgan, the audience gets this important piece of information about the virus, which has been established truth until Alicia woke up on that beach, looking healthy and restituted, her body temperature normal (COOL = ), her fever (HOT = ) gone.

She pulled through. The fever doesn’t always kill. Some people pull through, they live, they survive. It was the little girl, which was Alicia but, in a way, her own character in the episode, who told her that you don’t always die from the fever. The girl, with all her Beth characteristics, and the entire episode with all the Grady callbacks, is a reminder that in this universe, “dead” characters sometimes come back. This is obviously pertaining to Beth, whether or not she literally was bitten, or if it’s meant as a metaphor for her near-death incident.

It’s also about other “resurrected” characters (Rick, Morales, Madison). In this universe, the gates between the realms are open, no one’s gone until they’re gone, the show is literally called The Walking Dead, all the characters are in a liminal place between the realms, and some, such as Alicia, survived a couple of months in this liminal space, burning up with fever, she shouldn’t have survived, but she did!

And this changes everything. The three of us already know this, because we watch the show, listen to the stories tptb are telling, analyze the symbolism. We also watch the spin-offs, and especially from TWB have we been given many clues about what we now see. We can still only theorize about what went on at Grady, but in light of what we now know about the virus, how the fever doesn’t always kill, Alicia’s arm and all the arm weirdness I talked about yesterday, in combination with the arm symbolism and additional symbolism around Beth at Grady…our theories were always brilliant, especially when considering how little information we had when they were first developed.

It’s still difficult to say anything specific about what happened to Beth. It would still only be a theory, but I’d say we’ve seen the symbolism fulfilled so many times before , and in such convincing ways in this episode especially, that I’d say we were right all along. Beth is totally coming back. Idk if she was immune, or if there was a cure for her or what, but we know that if she was bit, the fever doesn’t always kill. Maybe her “treatment” that Dawn always talked about saved her. This will be fun hashing out in future weeks and months.

But back to Morgan in 1x1. Symbolically there’s a lot going on, there are a bunch of ways I could approach this. There’s the “1x1”, which we saw again on Noah’s t-shirt, “one one”. There’s the “he seems cool’ and “it’s the fever that kills”, which is the entire basis of the cool/cold/frosty etc symbolism that y’all know all about. The Frosty Cola from Alone, with a RED label (red controls the gate) and BLUE caps (blue clues, double capper symbolism). All the compass symbolism and the red compass needle that I’m always on about. The “North Star/Polaris” symbolism etc. It all springs from this comment in 1x1 about “it’s the fever that kills”, which is also the premise of the show.

That was the BEGINNING. Alicia waking up fever-free on the beach was the END. Alpha to Omega. Battlefield to Beach. And what did we learn from the sub? “The Beginning Is The End”. I believe that now, when we have reached the END, we will go back to the BEGINNING. And why is that so great you might ask? Well, because at the very beginning, we saw a character “wake up from the dead”. Someone whose family thought him dead, someone who was “left behind”, someone who was separated from his loved ones for some time, before he eventually was “reunited”. He “returned”, like Sirius the Dog Star! He “came back” from the “dead”. We saw him open his eyes in a hospital bed, like we saw Beth open her eyes in Slabtown.

And here I could insert a collection of very suspicious parallels between the two, but I won’t because y’all already know all about them. The blue heron painting, the bluebird symbolism, the blue clues symbolism about the police officer and the new sheriff in town.

About birds, you know I interpret birds as resurrection signs because of the helicopter/bird connection, the blue heron paintings etc. That’s a different discussion which I’m leaving out of this for now, because I’m trying to be brief. But we saw Amina the bird featured in a way in this episode which imo was all about guiding Alicia through the borderland area between the death realm and the realm of the living.

This, in turn, touches on stuff I was talking about endlessly after FM, so I’ll leave that out if it. But when I saw that bird, I knew that it was about resurrection/survival/coming “back” from the dead. I knew that already when @galadrieljones mentioned a forthcoming episode with the name AMINA. The reason I called this episode a monster-breakthrough episode is because of how all the symbolism from this universe merges, or intersects, which creates these super-hubs of symbolism.

I’m still trying to figure out how to articulate that. At least that’s how I feel. Everything that I’m tracking on the show, the cool/cold frosty symbolism, the blue clues, the back/return symbolism, the three/tree/trunk symbolism… It was all there. Layer upon layer, or I should probably say interwoven, like I gigantic symbolical subway station of different train lines coming together. Symbols intersecting with each other. Symbolism that was introduced in the BEGINNING (1X1), coming to an END on that beach with Alicia “waking” up in the realm of the living, after having been in the borderland are between the realm’s for two months (or 17 days if you will). And the END is the BEGINNING.

We know that in the immediate future, Madison is the “dead” character that will be “resurrected”. And that’s entirely predictable, not only because tptb has told us, but because it was always abundantly clear that the circumstances around her death was written in a way that would allow her to return without any problem. But we will later see Rick, and because of the symbolism around both Rick and Beth we will eventually learn more about Beth. I guess, since we have reached the END, the BEGINNING must be near? I sure believe so.

About Amina the bird, I interpret it as I interpret the blue heron paintings, the bluebird that Daryl saw in 9x6, the helicopters and the general “airlift” aspect of it, which ties into stairwell and elevator symbolism.

We saw Amina guide Alicia through the liminal borderland between the realms, up through the stairwell, away from the death realm, towards the realm of the living. And then we saw the girl, who in reality was young Alicia, break the glass.

Personally, I interpret this as “she saved herself”. I’ll say a few words about why. The core of all the symbolism I’m tracking and my interpretation of it has always been the tree/three/trunk theory. The essence of it is about breaking out of tombs. Obviously, this is a template from the Bible, the story if the resurrection of Christ. In TWDU, we see the “tomb” represented by other types of confined spaces such as trunks of cars, boxes, train cars, carnival ride cars, beds of trucks, boats and recently, shopping carts. And we know that a tomb can be a great hiding place, but it can also be something that imprisons you. It can be good and bad, depending on the situation.

In Beth’s case it was “good” when she hid in the trunk in Still, but for the Beth walker from 5x10 it was “bad”. And most importantly, my belief is that she was put in a trunk, or a car after Coda. Which was instrumental in helping her survive somehow. @wdway, we have talked so much about The DaVinci Code before. I’m bringing up that again because of how towards the end of the book it was revealed that the tomb of Maria Magdalena was situated under the inverted pyramid under the glass pyramid outside the Louvre. And obviously, it’s important to note the tomb-aspect of that clue, but also, there’s a glass aspect to it.

And when it comes to the “breaking of glass” symbolism on the show, I believe it’s about breaking out of the tomb, which is a metaphor for “resurrection” or “returning from the dead”, which is basically what Alicia did, which the bird “helped” with. It was guiding her through the liminal space between the realms, it made her “save herself” by symbolically shattering the glass window, which incidentally had a big cross on it. She shattered the glass, symbolically saving herself, breaking out of “the tomb”.

I’ve always said that the greenhouses (GREENEhouses) are metaphors for tombs, and that breaking the glass is something that “opens the gate”, meaning you can break free from the death-grip. We saw that in 4x4 when the broken glass of the greenhouse had allowed the tomatoes to survive due to access to rainWATER. In 6x6 we saw the two walkers enclosed by glass, literally class coffins. We saw the importance of keeping the little cooler with insulin cold during that episode. Again, we see how the “cool/cold” symbolism is about something that represents life. Literally, Sherry’s sister was experiencing a drop in blood sugar which made her pass out. Sherry administered the insulin, and her sister “woke up”. She “resurrected”. The cooler contained the life-giving medicine.

The glass house/greenhouse in this case is neutral, it just represents a tomb. It’s the cooler with the insulin that represents “resurrection”. The insulin did what it was meant to do, it “resurrected” her. She later fell into the mouth of a couple of walkers, that’s not the insulin’s fault. We see the same symbols in the case from 6X6, they were arranged differently. Perhaps you could say they’re part of the same constellation, but they’re different stars. Same symbolism arranged differently.

I would also put the green house from 11A into the category with the other greenhouses. Team Maggie hid in the basement (synonymous with trunk symbolism), in a greenhouse (synonymous with glass greenhouses). It did NOT become their tomb, because they escaped out the basement window (synonymous with “breaking the glass”).

I’d be very surprised if Alicia had died after all the resurrection symbolism tptb had surrounded her with. She saved herself (the girl was in reality Alicia herself). She “broke the glass of her tomb”. And we saw her “wake up”. Beth asked Daryl “Did you have to break the glass?”, signaling at an early stage that yes! Glass is in fact something that ought to be broken in this symbolism universe. And she saved herself as we know. As did Alicia.

Basically, I said that we might see the glass pyramid and potentially some broken glass when Daryl goes to Europe. We might not see the fictional tomb from TDVC, but we might see the pyramid. Percy recreated the Louvre with pyramid and Mona Lisa, so it’s definitely a thing in TWDU. And I’d like to remind everyone that the louvre is home to Venus from Milo, which is one of the most famous Venus/Aphrodite statues in the world, and there’s that Venus theory that I’m always talking about….

@wdway:

This was just wonderful. Alpha and Omega and it's so very satisfying. I have so enjoyed all the brainstorming and realizations of the symbols shown this week. @twdmusicboxmystery, you talked about the bird images that we have seen and how they connect to whoever we see them with. I couldn't help but think of Daryl. Him seeing the nest full of baby birds and the adult bird feeding a worm to the babies. And how we have seen in episode Then Daryl himself digging up a worm and using it for food.

And now he has a nest full of baby birds in the form of Judith and RJ. Kari, in TDVC, MM (the Holy Grail) was under the inverted pyramid with the pyramid on top which forms a diamond shape. If you separate the diamond, the ^ represent the male and the inverted v, the female.

Daryl has been connected to Washington D.C several times. In the trip to Washington in s8, Daryl was seen on his motorcycle with the Washington Monument behind him. The top of that white Monument is a pyramid shape. In the same episode, a banner with every single eye that strongly resembled Beth's. On the back of a Washington one dollar bill on the right side (=Daryl) there is the eagle and on the left side (=Beth) there is a pyramid with a female eye beneath it. Beneath pyramid = Holy Grail.

You could say that the upper and lower half of the bill has a 1 on the left and a 1 on the right, 1,1.

If the birds that we see are connected to the people we see them with, then the empty bird cage in Beth's prison cell is telling us that that bird is missing, gone, lost. I just realized that the prison cell is a human cage which makes Beth herself the caged bird that becomes lose.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

Such great thoughts here! Love all your observations! So, a few replies. I talked about Alicia’s little girl self mentioning that the fever is what would kill the infection, and what an interesting statement that was. Something about the way you were explaining things in your comments helped me clarify that more.

And this is obvious from a medical perspective, but I was thinking that maybe the fact that she specifically didn’t take any medication, and therefore the fever raged, high and unchecked, is what finally cured her. The little girl is right. When someone is sick and gets a fever, it’s the body trying to cook out the infection. The body’s natural sterilization through heat. Fever reducers really are counterproductive. But of course, we take them or administer them because fevers are uncomfortable, and in our fast-paced world, many of us need to be able to work and function, fever or no. Plus, a fever that gets too high can also be deadly.

Often in TWD, the fever is what actually kills. It gets higher and higher, as the body tries, unsuccessfully to fight the walker infection. But above 104 degrees, seizures can occur due to the high heat. The brain, for lack of a better word, cooks, and the heart stops.

So, my point is just that Alicia’s fever went on for a long time, and when she no longer had any fever reducers, and was just using WATER to hydrate herself, the fever finally got high enough to kill the infection.

Why hasn’t that happened with others in the show? There could be many reasons, and no way to tell. Maybe it’s because she’s stronger than others. Maybe it’s because she cut off her arm early enough that the infection didn’t take root in the same way it has with others. Unless they give us a medical reason for that, we won’t really know.

As to the beach symbolism, I totally agree. Just as I said beach is the opposite of battlefield, and therefore = peace, you could also explain it as battlefield = death (because people die on the battlefield) and beach = life. Totally agree with that!

In terms of water, I was also thinking that water = healing. Which is probably partially why a beach (which inherently sits next to water) = life. Something about Alicia drinking the water helped cure her. That’s why they so obviously focus on her drinking when she wakes up. It’s one of those things where they’re waving their arms and pointing to it as a clue.

And it’s probably not anything above what most people understand about water. As I said above, the fever raged, killing her infection, but drinking water and the saline IV June gave her kept her hydrated, saving her life. It’s why Beth = water, and also why water will end up being so important if the CRM is hording it. I agree with this being a new beginning on the show, btw, and it may be that all the characters will now slowly come to understand how a bite and fever can be treated. It will still be touch and go. Some will live, some will die. But water will be instrumental in helping the bitten.

And this symbol reaches all the way back to S4 with the infection at the prison. Hershel wasn’t a science guy like Eugene, but he was a farmer, which means he understood the basics of what any body (human or animal) needs to survive, and that’s water. There is a point where Sasha passes out in the prison. It’s just because her fever is so high and she’s so hot and dehydrated that she loses consciousness. When she wakes up, Hershel has attached her to a saline IV. When she wakes up, he says, “welcome back.” So, water has always been synonymous with treating illness on the show. And of course, that’s also real to life.

@wdway, what you said about the bird’s nest near Daryl. I keep meaning not mention that, too. I agree with what you said, and it’s one of those things that can be interpreted on many levels. The other thing I thought of was that if bird = resurrection, in that episode, when Carol went and got him and talked him into going back to HT to watch over Henry, we were actually seeing Daryl’s psychological resurrection. Of course, we couldn’t entirely understand when that episode aired, but that was him coming up for air and coming back to community after his time with Leah, which was very underworld-ish. So, it really was a resurrection for him. Love everyone’s thoughts!

@frangipanilove:

About why Alicia didn’t die from the fever, I feel like that is what’s so groundbreaking about her case, it’s completely new in the show’s zombie-science. She’s the first character that has been bitten, that has developed fever and still survived it. The people at the prison weren’t bit, their fever was from whatever flu they were having, at least that’s how I read it. But yeah, water is totally healing and also a major Beth symbol.

In terms of the show’s mythology, the established “truth” about the zombie virus has up until now been that if you get bit, you have to amputate the affected limb immediately, or else you develop the fever, which will kill you, no exceptions. And then Alicia gets bitten, she amputates her arm, but not fast enough (according to herself). She develops fever, expects to die, yet she never does. What we know from before is that it takes minutes or hours, not weeks or months. If Alicia’s fever really is from the bite, it represents a paradigm shift in the “show science”. My thoughts on that are that it represents and ending point to what Morgan explained in 1x1, that “it’s the fever that kills”. Alicia is the “Omega” to Morgan’s “Alpha”.

My thoughts on the words of the little girl, was that “isn’t the fever supposed to kill the infection” is like an inverted version of Morgan’s words from 1x1, “it’s the fever that kills”. Is she saying that because she (Alicia ) has some kind of immunity? Or rather, are tptb saying that so that we, the audience may suspect that something about Alicia makes her react differently to a bite, something which we’ve never before seen in TWDU? Is there something about her that makes her “different”? Does she have some sort of immunity? Something in her genetic makeup, or something she’s developed through exposure, as Ann suggested above. Idk.

And before I speculate further on that let me just say that the reason I find that so exiting is because it plays right into what we’ve been discussing off and on about Beth’s mystery arm injury from Slabtown, and because of the WILD parallels between Alicia and Beth in this episode. Both Alicia as an adult and Alicia as a child. The way she struggled to kill the walker, “it doesn’t matter”, the question “what’s your name”, the arm injury etc. And the girl, with her Converse shoes like Beth, her blue shirt like Beth, her braids.

And like you say, water has always been a life-giving symbol on this show, as it is in real life. Still, I feel like there’s something about the juxtaposition of Morgan’s Alpha (fever kills) and Alicia’s “Omega” (infection kills fever) that feeds directly into the events from Slabtown and some variant of cure/treatment/immunity.

Also, remember Eugene’s “fighting fire with fire”, well that’s basically a different way of saying “infection kills fever”. Vaccines are “using fire against fire”, using a small amount of the pathogen to train the body’s immune response. And about this being the “end”, we already know that in some respects we are starting all over again, with new, fast, “smarter” walkers, so it’s not like that’s entirely new.

But still, we’ve never seen a main character survive a bite that developed into a fever, we’ve never really seen how that looks. It is brand new in TWDU. (TBF most of the GA has never even seen the French walkers from the WB-coda. And I guess most won’t see Alicia’s fever either). But more importantly, I feel like tptb are signaling quite heavily that it’s starting to become time for Beth to return. Not only because we demand it, but because the symbolism says so.

And this ties into the bird symbolism again. Because we saw helicopters in 1x1, at least one outside the hospital where Rick “resurrected”, and one towards the end of the episode, flying. And the “BEGINNING”, Morgan’s “Alpha” to Alicia’s “Omega”, was episode 1x1, or “one one” as we later saw on Noah’s t-shirt along with the famous blue heron. Again, bird symbolism.

So that when tptb named Alicia’s episode Amina after a bird, and chose a bird to be the spirit animal guiding her away from the death realm towards the realm of the living, that’s something we’ve seen before. We just haven’t seen it fulfilled before, because we haven’t seen Rick alive yet, even though we’ve been told he’s alive. And of course, we haven’t seen Beth alive either, but we saw the same bird symbolism around both of them. And now around Alicia.

Other prominent executives of this symbolism are of course Daryl’s blue wing, with the ten stars, plus Negan’s mention of Reagan National, an airport. Both of these two symbols delve around flying and flying objects/beings, and there’s a blue clue along with them.

One last comment on the bluebird Daryl sees in 9x6, I personally tend to believe it was mostly about Rick, or Rick’s “resurrection”, because we saw it as we heard Michonne’s voiceover as she was talking to Rick. But the symbolism is about resurrection, imo. And the symbolism appears around several characters, Rick, Beth and now also Alicia. As to what the baby birds symbolize, I’m sure it could be many things (family?) but personally I chose to believe it represents many, many beautiful Bethyl babies, but of course I’m biased. (The worm on the other hand, I gotta say it’s still a bit of a mystery to me, I’d love some insight if anyone has any.)

And the symbolism around the dollar bill is something I’ve been eager to dive into, it is super detailed. And speaking of the pyramid on top of the Washington monument, we actually saw Alicia kill a walker with a mini-monument at one time, and we haven’t really seen any significant fulfillment of that yet.

@twdmusicboxmystery:

I’ll stop there. The other day, @galadrieljones joked about making t-shirts that said, “hey an air conditioner!” on them. For the record, I think I’d favor one from @frangi’s above comments that reads, “because the symbolism says so.” 😝

Thoughts (on anything, not just possible t-shirts 😊 )?

#beth greene #beth greene lives #beth is alive #beth is coming #td theory #td theories #team delusional #team defiance #beth is almost here #bethyl

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