#or even worse later this year when i won't be in the country | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

klausysworld · 10 months

Note

Firstly I wanna say your stories are amazing, thank u very much for posting ♡♡♡ Well I ve been thinking about a smut with klaus

Reader and him have been dating for long time but they never had sex and she is virgin and really innocent and fears she won't be enough for him, she just guess it would be rough and painful but but he surprises her with so much tenderness

And then maybe a good aftercare if u want to?

Ready

Y/n was beyond nervous.

She knew Klaus, she knew he wouldn’t purposefully harm her or force her into anything but she also knew he was rough by nature.

She knew he had been with thousands of other women and she knew she wouldn’t compare to those of his past.

She didn’t know how to do all the things he probably wanted to do but she also didn’t want to disappoint him.

That was one of her flaws, she never wanted to disappoint anyone and especially not Klaus. He loved her more than she had ever been loved and he had killed for her, protected her wholesale and provided for her like no other. She couldn’t imagine taking this away from him, and she didn’t want him to get bored and find someone else.

Last time they were going to have sex, she panicked at the last second and couldn’t do it. Not that it upset him, he was so very understanding and that almost made it worse because she didn’t know why she was so scared. If not of his disappointment then what?

So she tried to force herself to do it, she figuratively and literally threw herself at him. Eyes closed as she pulled her top off and kissed down his neck while he groaned softly and touched her hair. But the smell of worry rolled off her in waves and he ended up with her curled to his side while he kissed her forehead and put on a movie.

Klaus could see straight through her, she was like glass and he knew it. He knew how easy it would be to break her, scare her and hurt her. But for once in his immortal life, he had no desire to make someone’s life a misery, not her.

So he stopped her going through with something he so desperately wanted, because he knew she wasn’t ready and he wanted her to be comfortable and safe when he took her purity away.

Not that she would ever be anything less than perfect in his eyes, an innocent doe, his angel.

His siblings had made many jokes to him about his lack of sex life, he kept his love away from his family. She knew he was a hybrid and that he had done some truly awful things but he didn’t want them to share the details, he didn’t want to haunt her or terrify her sweet mind. He didn’t want to ruin her positive outlook on the world. But he also wouldn’t take anyone saying a bad word about her so when Kol made a joke that he would warm her up before Klaus could have her, well Kol ended up on the other side of the country. Rebekah asked if this girl was a nun, to which Klaus snapped back at and Elijah brought out the stronger alcohol.

If y/n wanted to wait till marriage then perhaps he would marry her. Yes, after a thousand years settling down with someone as pristine as her would be a dream come true for even the darkest of hearts.

And he told her that, which made her cry but not in disparity of sadness, in disbelief and love. It wasn’t hard for him to decide that she would never see an ounce of pain in her life.

But deep down she didn’t want to wait anymore. She didn’t want to wait until after marriage. What if she was no good for him and he was stuck with her forever? What if he didn’t want to teach her and instead wanted rid of her existence?

She loved him, she knew that. And she knew that he loved her. That should be enough, right? Love is a very powerful emotion and it’s enough to drive a person to do almost anything.

So she told him he was ready, and although he was skeptical, seeing her determined face, he wanted to make her happy. Even if she decided she couldn’t do it again and he was left with a painfully hard cock which he would sort out later.

———————————————————————

Klaus could feel how tense show was beneath him, his mouth was on hers moving quickly as she roughened the kiss. He knew she didn’t really want to kiss him like that but felt she had to, so he pulled away a moment and just cupped her face. Her legs were around his waist as she lay back and he had one hand helping to keep him just above her.

He could feel her shifting against him, her hands pulling him down but not in the need that he wanted her to have.

“Love, it’s okay if you’re not ready” he told her gently but she shook her head

“I am, I promise” she smiled faintly and he sighed softly

“Okay…okay just close your eyes” he instructed and she did.

He pressed his lips to her softly, stopping her from trying to rush it and instead barely moving his mouth against hers. His lips parted and so did hers, their movements getting a little bigger before his tongue slowly slid into her mouth. His hand brushed over her cheek lightly and her hands held onto his neck as she wrapped her tongue around his. Wet sounds filled the air between them as they moved their head more to taste as much of each other as they could.

He kept their faces attached as he began to roll his hips to hers slowly, happy to hear a genuine moan out of her and feel her breathe him in. He pushed her dress up a little so it wasn’t in the way and rubbed himself at her panties, careful not to overwhelm her too soon.

Klaus pulled back from her mouth a moment just to look at her eyes, checking for that fear that usually rest within them. It was still their but much less than normal, lust covering it and love overpowering them both. A soft kiss was given to her again as she moaned for him once more.

He moved backwards a little to look down where he was moving against, pleased with the growing wet patch along her panties which rubbed onto his sweatpants easily.

“See? Feel nice love?” He asked quietly and she nodded with a whine. “Good girl…you just keep relaxing, I’ll take care of you” he murmured softly. He kissed her lips lightly before trailing his way down her neck and back up again. His hands gently pushed her legs back down and had them lay open for him to rest between.

His mouth went back to hers as he tore her panties off of her in one swift movement. She barely noticed the material missing as she eagerly welcomed his tongue back into her mouth, enjoying the dominance he had over her movements. She assumed it was his crotch rubbing against her again when his fingers slipped along her now soaking pussy. He groaned softly into her mouth at the feel of it and couldn’t help but get a finger inside her to feel how tight she would be on his cock.

Klaus wasn’t sure how he would be able to do this without hurting her, but he would sure as he’ll try.

He had only dreamed of her being this tight, her silky walls had such a good hold on his finger as he slowly moved it back and forth. Her back arched and her mouth left his as she moaned out and ground her hips to his hand.

Klaus often wondered what she did usually after they got this far. Did you have to finish herself off like he did? He wasn’t sure anything had been inside her, not even her own fingers, based off of how much she was squeezing him as he pushed another one inside. A little whimper leaving her as her face scrunched at the stretch sting that rippled through her for a moment.

His thumb pressed to her clit and he rubbed slowly, matching the pace with the thrusts of his fingers and watching her cunt tighten around him. The amount of wetness that was dripping from his hand was ridiculous, the sounds produced when he sped up his actions was more than pornographic and her moans only added to it.

He groaned to himself as he took notice of her clit swelling as he rubbed quicker, listening as she called his name and her hands gripped the sheets harshly.

His fingers curled and the cry she let out told him everything he needed to know before he continued the action over and over until she was trembling and shaking with need. A burst of fluid was squirt up at him as she moaned so loud that her throat went sore. His lips pulled into a smirk and and he didn’t hesitate in licking his fingers clean. His eyes rolling closed as he leaned down to press his open mouth to her wetness.

Her hips jolted and legs clamped around his head making him grunt and bury between her thighs in determination. Her hands were straight in his hair, pulling and tugging as his tongue rolled against her and inside her.

“Nik!” She cried over and over making him smirk and suck at her harder, she had only ever called him Klaus so hearing her moan his name which was reserved for certain people made him all that more happier and sure that she was in fact ready.

Her hips ground desperately to his face, her fingers clinging to his curls and tears in her eyes as he devoured her within seconds.

It barely took another minute before her taste was exploding all over his tongue again and he was moaning with her as she filled his every sense.

“Nik” she panted, barely able to focus on anything as he continued to hold her thighs tightly and pull her puffy clit into his hot mouth. Her hands couldn’t let go of his hair, she couldn’t help but keep pulling him closer. No matter how sensitive she felt, how many nerves he was playing with, god she just needed more, “more! Oh more!” She cried and he would never deny her of this, never. He would beg for this to be his last meal, and he treated her as though it was.

After leaving her hanging on the edge of her fifth orgasm, he finally pulled away. Both of them breathing heavily and still moaning or groaning softly.

He crawled back up her now sweaty body and had his lips on hers, tongue fucking her mouth and sharing her delightful taste. At some point during his feast klaus had managed to shred her dress into pieces and had to get his own clothes off to stop them feeling so tight against his poor, aching cock.

He moaned outright when it felt the wet lips of her pussy and his hips moved to rub between them. Her breathing grew more erratic as she grabbed the back of his hair and pulled him back down, kissing him with need.

“I’m ready, please Klaus, I’m ready” she whispered and he let out a breath

“Nik” he uttered “you call me Nik” he ordered and she nodded

“Please Nik” she moaned and he thrust himself along her, his dick sliding over her clit many times over.

He had to stabilise his breathing and thoughts before he did this. He knew she had been so worried, so scared before and nothing could ruin this, not now. He couldn’t let her slip through his fingers now. He would be the softest, most gentle man on the planet if she would let him fill her with his cock, let him pump her full of his seed.

Fuck. The thought alone had him rubbing against her faster, but shit, he needed to be slow. Come on Klaus, slow.

He took a long breath before taking his heavy cock into his hand and pressing his tip to her dripping cunt. Her heart sped and he glanced up to find her watching his tip with anticipation, teeth on her bottom lip and a moan threatening to leave any second. It was all the confirmation he needed before finally, at last, getting inside her.

Klaus was 90% sure he was louder than she was when her soft, soaked walls sucked him inside. Just his tip to begin with, he slid it in and out of her carefully, lightly tapping it against her clit a couple more times before going further. He got a couple inches in before she made a whine of discomfort and he stopped, his hand found hers and he held it firmly but gently while his other kept a hold of his cock as though if he didn’t then it would do as it pleased and fuck her into oblivion.

“It’s okay my love” he whispered, his hand squeezing hers lightly in reassurance. “You don’t have to take it all” he told her as she shut her eyes so he couldn’t see the twinge of pain inside them.

He let the first few inches thrust in and out of her, allowing her tightly wound body to stretch at its own pace. When her hips moved by themselves against him and her mouth involuntarily opened, he knew she could take more. And more he gave her, a good two thirds in and his breathing so ragged that he wasn’t sure how he wasn’t passing out.

Her pleas were getting more common now and he obliged to every one, keeping each movement calculated and soft. His thrusts, although relatively slow, still reached all those places inside her which she had only dreamed about and she couldn’t have asked for anything better.

She had always worried he would treat her like she were a toy or a slut but he touched her like she was glass, like she were his priceless diamond and she adored it. Craved it.

He was perfect.

Any doubts were chucked out the window as he checked on how she felt time and time again, even though her constant call of his name told everyone in a 5 mile radius that he was giving her the time of her life.

“Nik-“ she moaned and he grunted, his face just above hers and a little further forward as she was leaving kisses and disappearing marks in his neck. He placed a wet kiss to her forehead and struggled to keep his pace steady. “Can- oh- can you go faster Nik?!” She pleaded and he nodded without an ounce of control. Completely following what she needed, his mind was locked on hers and he just wanted her to feel as good as he did.

His body moved to hers faster but still not roughly, not bruisingly or harshly. Just quicker to rub against her spongey spot, to have her back curved off the bed and legs shaking.

His body faltered above her as he felt his balls go tight, the same balls that had repeatedly slapped against her and were ready to empty inside her.

“Y/n” he panted and she moaned. “Gonna- cum- inside- you-“ he panted and she cried out pleasantly

“Please Nik, please please” she begged and he held her hand so tightly, he feared he’d broken it as she screamed and cried.

The sound registered minutes later, him having already overfilled her three times over with the amount of cum he had for her.

His head shot up and he grabbed ahold of her face with his hands

“Love? Did I hurt you? Oh god-“ he started but her hand cupped the side of his neck and she smiled weakly

“God no Nik, no you were- wonderful, unbelievable” she whispered breathlessly and he sighed in relief, his head drooping to kiss her cheek softly.

“Are you tired love?” He asked and she laughed

“Yeah, I’m tired. Are..are you? Do you need more or-“

“I would love as much as you could let me have but for tonight, believe me when I promise you that I am beyond satisfied. You were…” he leaned down to her ear and nipped the lobe gently, “quite frankly, the best I’ve ever had” he whispered and she blushed darkly

“Over a thousand years I do doubt that-“

“You have the softest, hottest, wettest, tightest little pussy I have ever had, the most delicious, most beautiful-“

“Nik” she cut him off, embarrassment colouring her red as she looked up at him shyly.

“Believe me sweetheart, I would never lie to you” he told her softly as he leaned back down to kiss her lips. “The best” he whispered again and she let out a happy breath before a yawn forced through her and he smiled

“Tell me if anything hurts okay? I’m gonna clean you up, I’ll be gentle” he murmured as he pulled out of her and lifted her off of the ruined sheets. She groaned at the empty feeling and held onto his hand with her own as he brought her to the bathroom. “Bath?” He questioned and she shook her head.

“Sleep” she mumbled and he nodded. He grabbed the wipes and got her as clean as he could before doing himself, not once putting her down.

He paused at the state of his bed and instead carried her to the guest room next door. He kept her right against his bare chest as he laid with her beneath the covers and kissed her head so much his lips hurt.

Her eyes had closed earlier than he realised as he held her dearly and whispered to her resting body. Just sweet nothings and true promises. Things she would hear many times over and experience in the future.

931 notes · View notes

rosaniruby · 5 months

Text

It's interesting how the second sentence victor starts the story with is "My ancestors had been for many years counsellors and syndics" and while i always focused on the effect it has on, for example, victor; trying to see the life of alphonse is also interesting in the way we can observe his trauma leaking out into his parenting methods and attitude towards his kids and wife.

Like,

-It is said they have a long history with being important and engaged in country's business. And as we see Alphonsa followed it, (and i highly suspect even when he sent victor to college he still expected him to take over this position later on), probably not having much of a choice either. It was all passed down, and even the character of this job is being passed down too. For example, traits fitting this job - responsibilities/brain over feelings. A sense of duty that follows them everywhere. Love isn't unconditional, it's a duty, as well as everything else they do.

It seems like he's just passing down the generational trauma.

Another instances where his bad experiences are being reflected in his behavior towards victor and others is also seen here:

-His dearest friend suddenly disappeared. Turns out he hid because of hurt pride of losing his fortune, simultaneously almost destroying his daughter's life bc of that as well as his own. and Alphonse felt betrayed that this false pride was more important than their friendship = notice how Alphonse assumes the reason for victor's misery is a false pride. And desperatively wants to keep his family in close-circle, so they won't leave each other. And him.

-He looked for the friend for a long time without stopping, but in the end was disappointed. "But when he entered, misery and despair alone welcomed him. Beaufort had saved but a very small sum of money from the wreck of his fortunes; but it was sufficient to provide him with sustenance for some months, and in the mean time he hoped to procure some respectable imployment in a merchant’s house. The interval was consequently spent in inaction; his grief only became more deep and rankling, when he had leisure for reflection; and at length it took so fast hold of his mind, that at the end of three months he lay on a bed of sickness, incapable of any exertion." = notice how he always thinks despair is useless and leads to even worse consequences, so, feeling things is BAD.

-After making a big deal out of loving and finding the friend, the moment he actually sees him dead, instead of thinking about that or even mentioning alphonse was sad or smth, theres not a single sentence about alphonse's reaction or even of that friend anymore, instead all attention drifts to beautiful poor Caroline and suddenly it's a story about saving her. Everything got romantized. = Obviously, the romantization of grief and suffering was very ingrained in Victor's whole family. It probably came from Alphonse and his ancestors too.

- It's also said in 1818 ver that alphonse really loved his sister (the mother of elizabeth) and she abandoned him (cut him off).

"for some years my father had very little communication with her."

= Now remember alphonse's later words and lessons about how cutting your family off means you are neglecting yourself and your other duties etc.

So yeak, Idk I just love how Frankenstein is also about generational trauma and people who didn't process their feelings ruining their kids' lifes. (and don't get me started on Caroline.)

#frankenstein #frankenstein or the modern prometheus #victor frankenstein #mary shelly's frankenstein #viktor frankenstein #alphonse frankenstein #caroline frankenstein #goth lit #gothic literature #classic lit #classic literature #mary shelley #frankenstein the modern prometheus #the modern prometheus #caroline beaufort

92 notes · View notes

ultimateshixiongfuckertournament · 4 months

Text

Canonicals Tournament Semifinal 1

Semifinal 1 is between Wu Xi from Qi Ye / Lord Seventh (shizun/mentor: Jing Beiyuan) and Luo Binghe from The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (shizun: Shen Qingqiu)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Wu Xi:

While JBY doesn't have a shizun status officially, he did act as Wu Xi's tutor for a while, and there are quite a few scenes in the novel of him teaching Wu Xi. Anyway imagine you are Wu Xi. You are 11 years old and your country was invaded and you've been taken as a diplomatic hostage. And they want you to assimilate but you've been chasing out all of the teachers with your venomous pets. And then your prettyboy neighbor is like hiiii :] and YOUR SNAKE (that your carry in your sleeve) LIKES HIM. what are you supposed to do then huh. NOT let him teach you? NOT fall in love with him? NOT steal him away from the future Emperor after using things he taught you to win back your country's independence?

#vote wuxi <3#he is down sooo bad for his POETRY tutor#where he learns ROMANTIC POETRY#that he later references#and has his tutor recites to him <3#obsessed with wuxi's propaganda here by the way

#wuxi is down so bad for his poety tutor#asks his tutor about a romantic poem and later his tutor recites it to him<3#wuxi betrothes his tutor to himself before telling him what it means#and later does fuck his tutor#and takes his tutor back to his hometown where they are gay married basically

Luo Binghe:

Luo Binghe's shizun Shen Qingqiu caused his sexual awakening and they lived together with Luo Binghe acting similar to a housewife.

Even after being betayed, stabbed, and pushed into the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe still loved Shen Qingqiu and wanted answers instead of revenge. Instead he had to repeatedly suffer his shizun dying in his arms and assumed abandonment. Which makes him absolutely lose it, made even worse by his evil sword Xin Mo which worsens all of his negative emotions and destroys its hosts, along with additional trauma over the course of the story.

He reused the sword that his shizun sacrificed himself to free him from, cuddles the corpse every night for five years to preserve it, he creates dreams of their happy years together but never made a Shen Qingqiu that would speak to him, he kidnapped and destroyed cultivators' cores so he could feed xin mo and preserve sqq's corpse, he rebuilds their house in his demonic palace, he spent years fixing sqq's destroyed cultivation and trying to revive him, he forces Shen Qingqiu live in that new house, he rescues and repeatedly puts himself in harms way to protect sqq, he tries to destroy the world so Shen Qingqiu can only love him (due to being driven mad by Xin Mo and his believed abandonment by sqq). He tries to kill himself after Shen Qingqiu dies for him again. He would do absolutely ANYTHING for Shen Qingqiu! He's increadibly jealous of everyone Shen Qingqiu gives attention to, including stairsweeps he smiles at. Luo Binghe has sooo much wrong with him and it makes him so lovable. He's so incredibly traumatized, driven by love and desperation for a majority of the story. He loves Shen Qingqiu so much and can't bear to live without him.

After everything? He lets Shen Qingqiu go, wanting him to be happy even if it means sqq won't stay with him. But sqq wanted to stay together! He gets his man! There is in world porn written about them, they have weird kinky sex inspired by the porn, they get married! Luo Binghe cries regularly for sqq, so sqq can dote on him despite his thin face. Luo Binghe is shameless and adores sqq. Lbh got so nervous that he fell flat on his face when proposing! Lbh loves sqq so much and wants him to be happy more than anything else!

More on disciple era:

Luo Binghe's sexual awakening was his shizun tied up and shirtless. He fell in love after Shen Qingqiu got poisoned protecting him. He moved into his shizun's house and handled all of the cooking and cleaning, would regularly fake fall into Shen Qingqiu during training to get hugs. He got a boner from being forcibly cuddled to heal his injuries. And ran to jump into a lake after being spanked for struggling too much during the forced cuddling. Sqq still never noticed lbh's affections.

It took him like 3(three) interactions with nice shizun (transmigrator who replaced his old one) to fall irrevocably in love. baby boy was ready he had mommy issues daddy issues and honestly by that time shizun issues too... luckily his new shizun can fill all those roles and more!

#lbh is THE shizunfucker

#binghe calling him shizun is a kink at some point its definitely him

#vote binghe!!#he wanted to fuck shizun so much that shizun died twice for him

#wu xi #luo binghe #qi ye #lord seventh #the scum villain's self saving system #svsss #jing beiyuan #shen qingqiu #xiyuan #bingqiu

66 notes · View notes

and-claudia · 1 year

Text

Against All Odds (Joel Miller x fem! reader)

wordcount: 2363

warnings: death, blood, cannon typical violence

General Warnings for later on: The main story will have an age gap between Joel and the reader (Reader will be 25 once we get to the main storyline), this will also be your warning that it will eventually be an x pregnant reader (if that's not your jam, I'm sorry) there is also going to be more graphic/trigger parts later on so please always to be sure to read the warnings BEFORE reading. This story will also be 18+ and TO BE ON THE TAGLIST YOU CAN NOT BE AN AGELESS BLOG (i do actually check that) also there first hand full of parts are all prologue so Joel won't actually be in it for a bit

Taglist Sign-Up (read my rules carefully before filling it out)

Ten years. Ten long years in Boston. I couldn’t even tell you what it was like living anywhere else. These ten years felt like twenty and everything before getting here just seemed to melt together. The only thing I could remember was losing everyone. From Ma, Alan, Roy, and Marc on the first night of the outbreak. To Chris in Knoxville.

By the time they made it to Boston, only Zeak, Scott, Pa, and I were left. How had this happened? It wasn’t even the fucking cordyceps that took most of them, only Ma. And now, it was only Pa and I in our little apartment.

Zeak got caught up in some illegal shit. Something about dealing pills to someone. He missed a deadline on a payment. I was told they shoved him off one of the buildings. That story spread like wildfire. Even now, 6 years later you can still hear whispers about the poor country boy who got too big for his britches.

Scott died about a year ago. Our block was notorious for fireflies breaking out in gunfights. Scott got caught in the crossfire. I found him, shot full of bullet holes in the alley by our building. He was only a few feet from the door. He had almost made it. I held him as he bled to death in my lap, knowing there was nothing I could do. Even after his hand that was grasping mine went limp, I held on. He was all I had. Pa still resented me for what happened to Chris, even with his memory failing him, he remembered that much. The nightly patrol found us and took his body from me and escorted me upstairs.

When I got there, his blood was still all over me.

“Where the hell have you been, girl?”

“You’re not wonderin’ where Scott is?” I asked.

“He’s a man he knows how to handle himself just fine.”

“Really? You wanna know whose blood this is?” I snapped.

He stayed silent.

“It’s Scotts. You hear those gunshots earlier? Yeah, those landed themselves in your son. He bled to death out in the alleyway. He’s gone! He’s dead! Just like everyone else! You happy, Pa? Huh? You gonna blame me for this one too?”

I did wait for him to answer. I stormed out of the small living room and went into the bedroom.

After that, Pa and I hardly talked. His memory got worse. I swear there towards the end he couldn’t remember why he hated me just that he did and that was that. But we were all each other had left. So when he died, it still hurt. I was now alone.

But life goes on. I found him in his bed yesterday morning. I knew he’d be getting tossed in the burn pit today. Just my luck that is where I was stationed to work. I got up, got dressed, and headed out.

I said hi to the regulars I saw along my route. Despite the events of yesterday, I went on with a smile. No need to make my problems anyone else’s or make anyone feel my sorrow with me. A few of them offered me their sympathy, which I took gratefully.

I checked in at the workstation and then went to my assigned area. As I scanned the area I didn’t see anyone I recognized. Sometimes that was nice other times it was nice to have someone to talk to, it helped pass the time.

Work went by uneventfully until I saw him.

"Careful with that one!" The words left my mouth before I realized it.

The man that was about to pull my father's corpse out of the truck gave me a weird look.

"Sorry." I said quickly.

"You know him?" He asked. I couldn’t tell if his tone was sympathetic or just annoyed.

"My dad." I said, stepping over to help him.

He gave a small nod, “Give me a hand then.”

We hauled him over and tossed him into the pit. I took a deep breath to keep the tears at bay.

"Don't cry. Not here." The man mumbled, patting my arm roughly and I nodded.

We continued to work in silence after that. Until we were leaving at least, then I spoke up again.

"Hey, I don't see you around often. Do you jump jobs or something?" I asked.

He nodded, "I go for whatever's paying the most at the moment."

"Well, what's paying right now?" I asked.

"Why would I tell you?"

"Look man, we just tossed my father into the pit. I'm kinda on my own now. I need money." I reasoned.

He sighed and I could tell he was thinking it over.

"Come on." He nodded for me to follow.

It definitely wasn’t going to be the funnest job, none of them were, but money is money.

"Thank you..."

"Joel."

"Yn. It's nice to meet you." I said holding out my hand for him.

He nodded and shook it. Then we went our separate ways.

The next morning I found him fairly quickly as we headed in for our shift.

"Good morning," I said quite cheerfully.

He side-eyed me, clearly not happy to be up so early.

"Why are you in such a good mood?" He huffed.

"I woke up this morning."

"And...?"

"That's it. I'm alive to see another day." I explained.

"You're optimistic." He gruffed.

I smiled at him, as I opened the lid on my thermos. I took a drink and nearly gagged before holding it over to him.

“What is that?”

“Why don’t you tell me.” I nodded to it to signal him to take a whiff.

His eyes went wide when he smelt what it was.

“Have some.”

He hesitated before taking the thermos and taking a drink of it. I watched with a small smile as the coffee visibly woke him up more.

‘That’s so good shit right there.”

“My old man had a stash of it that I was never allowed to touch… I hate it. The rest of what I have is yours if you want it.” I offered.

“What do you want for it?” He asked, clearly skeptical of my offer.

“Nothin’.” I shrugged.

“That’s a lie. Everyone here wants something for something. Nothing is free. So what do you want for it? I willin’ to bet I can get my hands on it.” He said.

“Damn, you’re determined to get some coffee, aren’t you? How about a friend?” I asked. To be honest despite his rough exterior and not knowing him long I was warming up to him. I didn’t really have friends so why not.

“What?”

“Look, I don’t really have anyone anymore, so yeah, a friend would be nice right now.”

His face softened and he held out his hand for me to shake, “Deal.” he said with a small smile.

I smiled back at him as I took his hand and shook it.

Our friendship grew from that day on. We worked nearly every day together. And even spent our days off together. One afternoon we were sitting on the roof of my apartment building having lunch when he asked me where I was from.

“Texas.” I replied.

“No, shit, me too.” He said with a small smile.

“I feel like now would be the time where I am supposed to ask what part of Texas but, I honestly wouldn’t know the difference,” I admitted.

“It’s okay, what part were you from?”

“Canton.”

“Oh, I know that place, cute little town.” He commented.

Things were great, then I met Tess. She didn't like me much and didn’t seem too keen on my joining them outside of the city but Joel eventually convinced her.

Then about a year after we met things went south for me. My block was taken over by the FireFlies. I got caught in the crossfire. I collected what I could of my belongings, which wasn't much, to begin with. I made it out with a shot to my shoulder. It hurt like bitch but I kept going I made it to Joel's and pounded on his door to be let in.

He threw it open and his face dropped when he saw the blood seeping through my top.

"What the hell?" He pulled me into his apartment.

"Fire Flies." I answered.

"Gunshot?"

I nodded and all but collapsed into the chair at the table.

"Hey, stay awake." He said to me before calling for Tess.

"Why'd the kid bleeding?" She said, almost annoyed.

"I'm not kid." I shot back.

"Cut it out you two! Get the tweezers." He said to her, she sighed and grabbed them, getting ready to help me.

Joel began reaching for the hem of my top.

"I gotta take this off, okay?" He asked gently.

"Buy me dinner first." I joked, not really thinking about the consequences of my words, but we flirted all the time so it shouldn’t be an issue.

He laughed a little and slowly and carefully took it off. I hissed in pain.

"Sorry." He mumbled.

"Where?" Tess asked large tweezers in her hand.

"Back of shoulder." I said leaning forward.

She went to work and the moment I felt the cool metal touch the raw flesh I flinched.

"Damnit, stay still, kid!" She reprimanded me.

"Sorry, hurts." My eyes watered.

She went in again and I flinched.

"Okay, Yn, imma hold you down, okay?" Joel asked.

I nodded lazily.

"Keep your eyes open." He said, holding me down to the table.

I felt the cold metal touch my skin once again but didn't flinch this time.

"Fuck!" I gasped in a breath of air as I felt her pinch the raw flesh of my wound instead of the bullet.

"That's not the bullet you fucker, that's me!" I said through gritted teeth.

"Joel, it's wedged in there..." Tess said quietly.

"Just cut it out. I few extra stitches is better than dying of infection." I said reaching for my knife in my pocket.

I got it and tossed it on the table. Joel quickly grabbed it and poured some alcohol on it to disinfect as best he could.

"Can I hold your hand?" I asked, holding out my good arm.

He nodded and slid his hand into mine. I squeezed the hell out of it as I felt the blade cut into my shoulder.

"Breathe, Yn. You gotta breathe through it." Joel said, taking deep breaths to get me to mime him.

Focusing on him helped and soon enough it was all over and I was stitched up.

"There you go kid." Tess said, patting my other shoulder.

"M'not kid." I slurred as I leaned more into the table.

"Here go lay down on my bed, you'll be more comfortable." He said, helping me stand.

I stumbled but he was quick to catch me, "Can I borrow a shirt? I got blood on mine."

He laughed a little, "Yeah I'll get you one in a minute."

Once he got me into a new shirt and laying down he sat beside me on the bed.

"Sorry bout the floor. I'll clean it later."

"Don't worry bout that. Just rest." He said, giving me one last look over before standing to leave.

“Wait…” I called out and he stopped.

“Will you stay with me?” I asked quietly.

Joel stayed silent for a moment, “I’ll be right back.”

He left and I could hear muffled voices through the walls but couldn’t make out what was being said. Then I heard the door slam and a few moments later Joel walked in. I gave him a confused look.

“What happened?”

He shook his head, “Tess left. It’s okay. Get some rest.”

“You too, come on.” I used my good arm to lift the blanket up beside me.

I could tell he thought about it for a moment. But a moment later he was shedding his boots and crawling into the bed beside me. From that night on we shared a bed. Our relationship grew more and more and although we never officially defined it, we understood that we had something together.

A little over a year after that night was my first time leaving the QZ. I was very nervous but Joel assured me everything would be okay and that he wouldn’t let anything happen to me. It was the night before we were supposed to leave. Joel and I were laying in bed together and I couldn’t settle down.

“Be still.” He mumbled.

“Sorry.” I tried not to sniffle but failed.

He pushed himself to sit up and turned on the small lamp beside him, “What’s wrong?”

I bit my lip trying not to break down, I was embarrassed by how scared I was to leave the QZ. Part of me was still very insecure that I was so much younger than he was. I never wanted him to think that I was immature. I sat up with him and pulled my knees to my chest.

“I don’t know if I should go tomorrow…” I whispered.

“Why not? Did Tess say somethin’ to you? Because she’s just trying to get in your head. We’ve never taken anyone out with us before. It’s more risky, but I promise you’ll be fine.”

“How do you know?!” I snapped at him, “How do you know?” I repeated much quieter as the tears began to fall as the memories of being attacked by an infected all those years ago resurfaced.

Joel pulled me to sit between his legs as he held me tight.

“What happened, sweetheart?” He asked gently.

“On our trip here from Knoxville, we were less than 5 miles away from the QZ, I got attacked…” I continued to tell the story of what happened that day and how Scott had helped me.

“Sweetheart, I promise, nothing is going to happen to you tomorrow.” He said gently, pressing a kiss to my temple.

He continued to hold me before I began falling asleep in his arms. Then he carefully laid us back down but continued to hold me close as we both drifted off to sleep.

I had to fix the taglist, if you're tag is not working please let me know.

@sexyvixen7

@joelmillerslays

@elliaze

@strawbab

@little-lovely-darling

@swimmjacket

@watercolorskyy

@mserynlarsen

@sebby-staan

@beelanie

@fan-g0rl

@paige96

@pedropascalfanclub

@ameliadraws

@mavs101

@azerty29

@rileyferg

@belliedellie

@rhaenyrasgf

@imcreepininyourheartbabe

@nani-kenobi

@lunas-sstuff

@holb32

@reidsgubbler

@cleocat246

@novamidoriya

@katmae1997

@dizzywinterdaydream

@mrswidowjohansson

@abzidabzy

@givemeth

@morgaussy

@summerchicken

@kelh27

@ayamenimthiriel

@letmehavemyfictionalmen

#joel miller smut #joel tlou #joel the last of us #joel miller x reader #joel miller x reader fluff #joel miller x pregnant reader #joel miller tlou #joel miller #joel x reader #hbo tlou #tlou show

161 notes · View notes

hikkikoaubrey · 2 months

Text

Please read, don't scroll pass this. (II)

One the previous post I talked about the KOSA Bill and the TikTok Ban Bill as you can see above, but now for this post I'm going to talk about something of even greater importance. Project 2025.

Project 2025 is a plan from Republicans / Conservatives to seize total control of America from the inside out while destroying democracy in the process, ultimately turning America into a Christian nationalist militarized state. One of the main ways they plan on making this a reality is through Trump getting a second term as president.

If this comes to pass, this will ruin and even end the lives of many, and to make it worse, the changes caused by Project 2025 will still be in effect even long after Trump's second term ends.

We cannot let Trump when this election, and as much as I hate this, Biden is really our only choice since voting on a 3rd party will most likely won't work. I know Biden has a lot of problems, but we don't have a choice.

Here is some more links with some additional info (including the actual Project 2025 website), please look more into this and spread this around (even if you're not in America)

Website

Project 2025 | Presidential Transition Project

Videos

youtube

The Conservative Plan to Take Over the Country (you need to know about this) (youtube.com)

Project 2025: The Fascist Plan For America (youtube.com)

Tweets

Project 2025 (@Prjct2025) / X (twitter.com)

STOP THE COUP 2025 #StopProject2025 (@stopthecoup2025) / X (twitter.com)

https://x.com/oogamretsim/status/1769776085221220774?s=20

BMB Empower Network on X: "A guide to #Project2025, the extreme #rightwing agenda for the next #Republican administration, aims to roll back #civilrights and destroy the #federalgovernment. https://t.co/TVhHMRjjTD" / X (twitter.com)

NowThis Impact on X: "When conservatives tell you what their plan is, believe them. Here’s how Project 2025 aims to break down the U.S. government, dismantle the education system, institute a national abortion ban... and that’s just the beginning. https://t.co/htZORS5whU" / X (twitter.com)

https://x.com/cardon_brian/status/1772756740016099494?s=20

David Pepper on X: "🚨 🚨 NEW WHITEBOARD 2024 is being framed as Trump vs. Biden. But Trump’s unhinged Ohio speech the other day, his past actions, the ominous Project 2025, and more, make clear that the election really is about: Trump vs YOU… and your FREEDOM. WATCH, RT and then… https://t.co/qG0Nr5SYOj" / X (twitter.com)

https://x.com/ruthbenghiat/status/1770499903640264865?s=20

Kanis The Arctic Wolf 🔜 Florida on X: "WE CANNOT STAY SILENT ABOUT THIS! Project 2025 and KOSA are DANGEROUS, it’s a threat to all of our rights and democracy as a whole. If we don’t stand up for our rights now, we won’t have them to fight for later on. SPREAD THE WORD, DEFEND OUR RIGHTS, IT TAKES ALL OF US!" / X (twitter.com)

https://x.com/batzless/status/1770583846540509549?s=20

Tumblr Posts

#project 2025 #vote blue no matter who #election 2024 #2024 election #christofascists #us elections #kosa #donald trump #trump #trump 2024 #trump indictment #fuck trump #omori #student loans #abortion rights #lgbt rights #conservatives #facism #Youtube

38 notes · View notes

teabutmakeitazure · 2 months

Text

Zuri's Declassified University Survival Guide

This is a post about survival tips in university (undergraduate), especially if you're an international student living alone in a different country in this circumstance. I will be adding onto this later on if there's something I want to add, so keep an eye out for update reblogs of this I guess.

General Tips:

it's okay to make mistakes. you are here to learn and grow. no one is perfect, especially in the first and second year of their studies. those are mandatory experimental years. you're not expected to get magically mature and perfect when you get to university (or college for you americans). be kind to yourself and analyse your mistakes instead of beating yourself over them.

don't bother too much about your wardrobe. just wear whatever's comfortable. you might think people care but no one does. more than half of the people at campus will be in sweats or pyjamas and if someone IS dressed up, they're probably arts kids or business majors and they're the ones with the least workload (yes i am dissing you guys I've seen your workloads stop lying).

put yourself in uncomfortable social situations. yes i said that. the only reason i somewhat learnt to make small talk and learnt to talk to strangers is because I go to every single social event that I can. it's not necessary to make friends in all of them. just talk to people, exchange contacts, laugh while the event lasts even if you never see them again. this is how you survive in the lonely dorm life. and if you make an actual good friend? amazing! it paid off. even if it didn't you'll probably network and build rapport and have acquaintances from different majors.

if you're an ethnic minority, don't be afraid. I cannot stress this enough. don't be afraid to be there and take up space. you are there because you deserve to be and qualified. sure, it sucks at times because a good amount of people won't interact with you because you're 'different' but the international students will and trust me they're the coolest bunch to be friends with (I have 0 such friends so far). most times you will have to take the initiative to talk and sometimes they won't respond or worse flat out ignore you but don't let that get you down. just don't interact with them again. the world is big. not everyone will like you and accept you. find the ones that will.

eggs and milk are your best friend. a glass of milk everyday and 2 eggs. make that a staple. eggs are also very versatile for recipes. more on that in the recipes section. also yoghurt. a smol cup of yoghurt everyday too and nuts whenever you can buy them.

always have a few pack of instant noodles at home. sometimes you have deadlines or you forgot to cook or need a quick dinner because there's so much to do and you didn't get groceries. always keep them in stock. they're a quick fix for food. I'm not promoting them for frequent dinner but it's better than starving. just eat the noodles man. there's already so much shit to keep track of just eat the damn noodles.

incorporate veggies into everything food. they're good for you. if you're like me and don't like veggies, experiment with different recipes and find the one you like best. one good way is fried rice or rice with mushrooms, veggies, and meat in the rice cooker (I don't own a rice cooker when I'm writing this). just eat your veggies and thank me later. if you don't wanna cut them up, get a pack of frozen veggies. it's better than nothing. baby steps.

meal plan. if I don't plan my entire week's food on sunday night, I do it the night before for the next day. eat out as less as you can. homemade is better even if you're a horrible cook. practice makes perfect and you'll be grateful for learning a few basic cooking skills along with your degree later on. cooking your own food also gives you the liberty to add more veggies or save money.

treat yourself to stuff sometimes. yes you deserve it even if you don't meet your goals. you're trying. be kind to yourself. get that boba.

study everything done the week by that week's weekend. do the day's content that same day and don't lag behind. utilise reading week and read. don't slack off please I'm begging you. I'll even get on my knees if I have to.

you're gonna miss home and it sucks. yes you will be having your fourth mental breakdown of the week on a wednesday night and you will be alone or hiding under the blanket as your roommate is asleep. you're gonna have to tough it out soldier. I see you and I feel you. it gets easier with time and when you're doing better, you'll feel relieved for toughing through. it's so lonely sometimes and it sucks but it's worth the pain. don't lose hope.

seniors are your friends. they will give you forbidden knowledge for free. from hidden places with good food or convenience things or just life advice exclusive to your institute, they have it all. they're also generally very friendly so don't be afraid to interact with them.

annoy the living hell out of your professor during office hours if need be and utilise the student help room for help. your tutors will be happy to help you so don't be shy to ask for help. they will appreciate you coming to them, trust me. as for your professor, they're lonely people. go to office hours if you need to, chat, ask them what you need. they'll appreciate your presence and happily help you.

the security guards and cleaning staff will be witnesses to your worst states (freshly out of bed or haven't showered in 2 days) but they don't care. they're just happy to be of service and have you around. be kind to them. greet them whenever you pass by.

sometimes coffee is bad.

if your classes start at noon or later, get an hour of exercise in the morning at around 8 or 9 am. the serotonin that will hit you will be unreal. trust me.

make local friends. they're cool people and friendly and very helpful and accommodating. I may be biased but it's true.

being a student helper, student tutor, or a research assistant looks good on your resume and helps you win more scholarships.

put headphones on when in public if you don't want to end up talking to someone you might bump into. it works.

your body also has rights. treat it with care. don't abuse it. nourish it. you should take care of your body like you would a loved one. feed it good things, clean it everyday, and so on. when you feel good by taking care of yourself, you still do better and feel more confident. wash your hair with a set schedule and use good products.

make your wardrobe easier. hang your usual shirts and maybe wear the one in front each day, the previous day's being hung in the back or in the laundry basket. it saves time.

there's no shame in not having stuff. I still don't own a proper laundry basket it all goes into an IKEA bag. you live in a dorm, not a house. sometimes not having every single kind of furniture or accessory isn't bad. don't compare your setup to others. if it's convenient, clean, and homey, it's good. you don't need those expensive lights or those expensive posters to make it seem cool. what you have and what you may collect among the way is enough.

notes on paper are better than laptop or ipad

take breaks. be kind to yourself. it is you for yourself. treat yourself with love.

manage your time by designating time blocks to a certain task. it might not always work but it will help create some discipline in the routine.

having a set everyday routine helps. you don't have to think what to do, thus saving you brain power.

use a semester planner for deadlines and important information. it's useful. I highly recommend. I also have a template if anyone wants.

write down your thoughts, what's bothering you, your feelings, everything on a piece of paper or journal at the end of the day. it'll help process your emotions and you won't have to let the thoughts and emotions fester inside you, slowly simmering and coming to a boil. remember, you are your best friend.

Recipes to help you stay afloat (they're all quick and easy dw):

right off the bat I want to say boiled jasmine rice with sunny side up eggs. you drizzle a pinch of salt onto the yolk, break it over the rice, mix it with the rice and eat it and it's just *chef's kiss*. definitely a comfort food and a very easy quick dinner.

a lot of these I found while scrolling through instagram and some are from when I was trying to lose weight. hope they're helpful!

oyakodon

one pot rice cooker rice with veggies

veggie and meat single serve in one pot

chicken wrap (primarily for weight loss I think)

chicken gyros (this guy makes amazing food)

minced meat weight loss meal prep

chickpeas (chana masala. this shit is bussin i swear)

something tomato + onion + egg

one pot veggie rice (recommended)

chicken shawarma (not dorm friendly cooking but looks delicious)

egg sandwich in one pan

potato marraka (THIS IS SO GOOD)

one pot rice cooker with meat and veggies

daal

chicken and rice

pizza style chicken wrap

five different chicken marinades for meal prep

one pot biryani

takeout style egg fried rice

rice cooker carbonara

one pot yoghurt curry chicken rice

weight loss chicken shawarma

healthier mac and cheese

chicken fajita

chicken tikka masala crunch tacos

one pan braised eggs

air fryer garlic bread pizza

another veggie and rice in rice cooker

fried rice recipe

hainanese inspired chicken rice in rice cooker

tomato orzo(?)

creamy tomato pasta

tomato and egg rice

mushroom sauce (can be eaten with rice)

creamy tomato tortellini

grilled cheese sandwich

#yes im referring to ned's declassified school survival guide #damn i miss that show #this is more for myself than anyone else #i got to compile all the recipes with this as an excuse nice #anyway hope this helped #i know I'm a yandere writing blog but i can also be helpful sometimes #zuri's declassified university survival guide #took me 2 hours but meh #college tips #university tips

50 notes · View notes

leupagus · 1 year

Text

Beard and Nate: friends to enemies to God I hope they get to be friends again

One thing I found interesting about this episode is Beard and Jane's axe-throwing date with the bespoke Nate Crotch Targets. Leaving aside Beard's 17 axes, which he cannot imagine having in a different country (and I do love that at some point between probably season 1 and 2, when he and Ted decided to stay in the UK for the forseeable future instead of going home after those first four months, Beard had his axes shipped and has added to the pile since then. Also that Ted is aware of Beard's axe problem), the vitriol of that is something that's really narratively significant, I think. Because it speaks to the fact that Beard has not remotely forgiven Nate for what he did. And I think that says a lot about Beard as a person, and as a friend.

Beard and Ted have been friends for a long time — long before Wichita (remember, they were only there for one year) — and whatever their past may be, they have a loyalty to each other that is really remarkable. Yes, Beard came to the UK along with Ted; but Ted must have insisted on them as a package deal, and Beard would have a pretty nice salary from Richmond too, not to mention comparable company housing to Ted's pad. They're very close and comfortable talking about complicated, messy emotional stuff with each other — part of the reason the Diamond Dogs formed was because Ted and Beard's rapport began to expand to encompass Higgins and Nate. He sees those two as similar kinds of men, willing to honestly express their feelings and mutually support each other.

And then Nate starts to change.

Beard and Ted first clock it in the very first episode of season 2, in Nate's attitude toward Will (which I think is more Nate repeating the mistakes that his father made with him than Nate actively reveling in abuse — I have a whole BOOK I want to write about Lloyd and Nate's conversation in this past episode, I absolutely cried, don't look at me). Neither of them say anything, which I think would be a mistake if this was real life but in the show is meant to reflect the idea that "sometimes you can let people make mistakes and improve on their own, but sometimes you have to step in early." But Beard, throughout the season, watches Nate a little more carefully, and then when Nate really goes over the line with Colin, he finally steps in. Nate makes his public apology to Colin and things are seemingly fine — remember, Nate's awful comment to Will happens out of Beard's sight.

But Beard obviously doesn't stop watching Nate, because he figures out pretty much instantly that Nate was Trent's source for the story about Ted's panic attacks. Not only that, but the first thing Nate does when Beard sees him is to ask where Roy is, and then lie to him when Beard makes a pretty blatant comment about the article. Then later, when they're all talking with Roy about the Jamie & Keeley situation and Nate confesses about the kiss, Beard makes the flat "I'd be happy to punch you in the face" comment. Because from his perspective, Nate's done something absolutely awful and won't even admit to it, even though he'll readily admit to trying to kiss Keeley. (I'm not making any claims as to which one is "worse," but the show clearly wants to portray Nate talking to Trent as the bigger problem.) Then you have the fight between Nate and Ted (which Ted 10000% told Beard about, I cannot imagine a world where he didn't), the ripped sign, and Nate leaving the club to coach for Rupert Mannion.

As far as Beard can see, Nate took what Beard and Ted had given him — not the assistant coachship, but the camaraderie and trust — and used it to hurt Ted in the most cowardly way possible.

And I don't think Beard is right.

We still don't know exactly why or how Nate told Trent about the panic attacks (what I wouldn't give for THAT flashback), but I think the folks who assume he did it to advance his own career or at the behest of Rupert or something are way off. I think Nate's anger at Ted is a whole other essay, and this past episode has really made it clear how much it's tangled up in his expectations for himself as well as for his father-figures, but I don't think that it's something Beard has been able to understand. All he sees is the fallout from Nate and Ted's broken friendship, and the grief that caused Ted this past year. He's only seen the pain on one side and not the other.

So we have Beard celebrating Nate's departure from West Ham, despite (and maybe because of) the fact that Ted's already forgiven Nate. We see Beard slowly trusting Trent — who after all did write the article but who wasn't Ted's friend or confidante at the time and owed him absolutely nothing — but still willing to erect boundaries when he wants to (even if he pulls them down within 30 seconds). And what I hope we get in the next two episodes is Beard understanding Nate more and accepting that his friend still needs him.

And that his friend is Nate.

#ted lasso #this is what I meant the other day when I said that I don't really watch the show for romantic relationships #because the friendships are SO FASCINATING #not all the characters on this show are written to be fully dimensional #(Dani as amazing as he is does not really... make sense as a person ESPECIALLY AFTER THIS EPISODE)#but the even those characters I want to study like my PhD is on the line #sidenote: who else is dying to know what the deal with Rene is #BECAUSE THAT RUNNING GAG WAS STUPENDOUS #believe mothereffers

153 notes · View notes

cutecurly-hair · 9 months

Text

Hearts Unleashed (Part 1)

Pairing: Nick Nelson x Black!fem!reader

Warning: Fluff, Smut in later chapters, Body Shaming

Words: 2234

Please interact and comment to keep it going. I always love to know what you think.

"What does this mean?" I stared at the piece of paper clutched tightly in my hand. My mom's eyes held an unmistakable unease as she replied, her voice tinged with worry, "This is our plane ticket to England."

Excitement bubbled up inside me as I glanced at the tickets. "We're going to England for a vacation! I had a feeling this year would be different. Do you think we can visit Paris while we're there? I heard it's just a quick train ride away."

My mom chuckled nervously, her laughter quivering. "That's the thing, honey, this isn't just a vacation; it's permanent."

My brows furrowed as I examined the ticket more closely, finally noticing the bold "ONE WAY" printed in the upper right corner. "What do you mean, one way?" Confusion washed over me, and I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

"It means we'll be officially moving to England. I applied for a new job there, and I got it," my mom explained as if it were the most natural thing in the world. She saw the panic in my eyes and hurriedly added, "I understand it's sudden, but I think this will be a great change for us. I've even found a fantastic school with an amazing film program that I know you'll love."

My mind raced. "I don't even know what to say. Why are you telling me this now?" My whole life was here in America, and the idea of packing up and moving to another country was almost too much to bear.

"Honey, I know it's sudden, but they called me today, and they need me to start immediately. That's why we have to leave tomorrow."

"Tomorrow! I don't even have time to pack, let alone say goodbye to my friends. We can't just uproot ourselves from LA and head to England." I looked around our apartment, a cozy haven that had been my home for the past seven years. It felt like things were finally getting back to normal.

I glanced at the ticket again and saw the fine print: Departing from LAX tomorrow at 10:45 am. "I should really start wearing my glasses," I muttered under my breath.

My mom tried to reassure me, "Everything will work out fine. I've hired movers to come during the week and help ship the rest of our stuff. Tonight, all we need to do is pack our personal things and head to the airport first thing in the morning."

I felt like I wanted to argue, but then I saw how tired my mom looked. Her face seemed really worn out, and she had a tired look in her eyes. It made me realize that maybe I hadn't been paying enough attention to how she was feeling lately.

I decided not to bring up my concerns because I didn't want to make things worse. I didn't want to fight with my mom when she already seemed so tired and stressed. So, I chose to keep quiet and let it go for now, even though I still had my worries.

As we stepped off the plane in London, the dark grey skies clouded my vision, and the unfamiliar air filled my lungs. Instantly, I began to miss home. With half of my life packed away in two large suitcases and three duffel bags, this was definitely going to take some getting used to.

"Have your other bags arrived yet?" my mom asked, her eyes darting to the time on her wrist.

"Sorry for making you wait," I replied with a sigh. "When you're packing your whole life into a bag, it tends to take a while." I was far from being in a good mood after only managing to grab a couple of hours of sleep, spending one of them writing an overly dramatic paragraph to my friends about where I'd be for the next few years.

"There's no need to get sassy with me, Y/n," my mom chided. "I'm just worried about the time. I don't want to be late for the shuttle. If we miss this one, the next won't be for another three hours. And I'm sure you don't want to spend that much time at the airport."

Before I could respond, I spotted my color-coded bags moving slowly along the conveyor belt. I collected them and loaded them onto a trolley, then couldn't help but add a mockingly sweet tone, "Now, we can go."

My mom led the way to the shuttle, looking a bit lost in the bustling airport. She approached a stranger for directions, and I listened intently, realizing I needed to get used to the distinct accent. My mom thanked the stranger urgently, and we hurriedly made our way to catch the shuttle, leaving behind the life I'd known in America.

Arriving at our new home in England I couldn't help that there was a mix of excitement and trepidation. I had seen pictures of the place, but it was entirely different to stand in front of it, knowing that it was going to be our home for the foreseeable future. My mom, ever the optimist, had put in tremendous effort to ensure it was the best flat on the block.

As we approached the building, I noticed the quaint charm of the neighborhood. Rows of terraced houses with colorful front doors lined the cobblestone streets. It was a far cry from the sunny, palm tree-lined avenues of Los Angeles that I had called home.

My mom had informed me earlier that her new job had provided relocation money, and she had spent hours researching and visiting potential flats to find one that met all our needs. She was determined to make this transition as smooth as possible for me, especially since I wasn't exactly thrilled about changing schools.

The flat itself was a cozy two-bedroom apartment on the top floor of a charming Victorian building. It had large windows that let in plenty of natural light, and I could see the spires of an old church in the distance. The living room had plush sofas, and I could just imagine the walls being adorned with artwork from home. She had even managed to find a flat with a small balcony where we could enjoy tea on sunny afternoons.

As we stepped inside, I couldn't help but be impressed by how homely it felt, despite being in a foreign country. My room, though smaller than what I was used to, had a window overlooking the quiet street below. I packed some of my posters and photographs from our life in LA, making it feel like a small piece of home.

As I unpacked my belongings, I couldn't help but reflect on the whirlwind of changes that had brought us here. My parents' divorce had been a long and sometimes painful process, but with me finishing up middle school, it seemed like the right time for a fresh start.

In my mom's perspective, this move was a chance for something new and exciting, a way to turn the page on a difficult chapter in our lives. But for me, I felt like I was just along for the ride, caught up in the decisions made by the adults in my life. It wasn't easy to accept that we were starting over in a completely different country.

While I tried to look on the bright side, I couldn't shake the feeling that my mom should have told me about it much sooner. The truth was that I was still deeply hurt and confused.

But as I glanced out the window of our new flat and saw the quaint streets of our new neighborhood, I knew that, in time, I would find my place in this new chapter of our lives. Change might not come overnight, but I was determined to make the most of it and find the silver lining in our fresh start.

—-----

A whole week had passed, and I swear my boredom had reached Olympic levels. Our furniture from LA finally showed up a few days ago, and let me tell you, I became the world champion of room redecorating in record time. But apart from that impressive feat, my life had all the excitement of a cardboard box. School isn't kicking off until Monday, which gives me a gentle nudge that I should probably check out the film program my mom's been raving about.

Feeling all organized and responsible, I sat down and sketched out the route from our place to the school. It's like a 20-minute walk, which I can totally handle once I get the hang of it. But if I'm feeling a bit lazy (which happens, like, all the time), there's a nifty 10-minute bus ride option. Plus, my mom's still knee-deep in paperwork to send our car overseas, so it's official I'm becoming a bus pro.

Then I checked out the school's website, and the film program doesn't look half bad. They've got this YouTube channel packed with short films that are more interesting than binge-watching cat videos. And here's the real kicker they've got a partnership with Netflix! I mean, seriously, how did they manage to pull that off? They're talking about workshops and internships, and I'm just here thinking,

"Who's the magician that got Netflix on board?" That seriously is impressive.

Looking out of the window, I couldn't believe my luck the sun was actually shining for once! After days of nothing but gray skies, it felt like a small miracle. I was starting to understand that sunny days were a rare commodity in this place. So, I thought, why not make the most of it while I could?

I swapped out my usual outfit for a pair of comfy shorts and a cool graphic tee. In a flash, I was out the door, ready to savor every bit of that precious sunshine.

As I continued my stroll through the neighborhood, I stumbled upon a charming park nestled amidst the houses. The sunlit meadow was dotted with people, and what caught my eye was the number of folks out and about with their dogs. It was becoming evident that this was definitely a big dog-loving community, and the park was their social hub.

I watched as playful pups frolicked, tails wagging with unbridled enthusiasm, and their owners chatted amicably, forming a tight-knit community within the community. It felt heartwarming to witness such camaraderie, and I couldn't help but smile at the sight.

I stumbled upon the perfect photo opportunity, one that would fit perfectly in my collection. I'd forgotten my camera at home, but my trusty phone would have to do. As I aimed to capture the moment, an unexpected collision sent my phone tumbling to the ground.

Before I could get a word out, the other person beat me to the punch. "Oh, I'm so sorry. I wasn't watching where I was going," he said, hastily bending down to retrieve both of our phones. It turned out he had dropped his phone as well.

I felt a flush of embarrassment creeping up. "No, no, it's alright. It was my fault for standing right in the middle of the walkway," I replied, cheeks tinged with a hint of red.

He handed back my phone with an apologetic smile. "Sorry about that. Hopefully, it didn't crack," he said, his own cheeks taking on a shade of pink.

I shook my head, trying to conceal my own embarrassment. "No big deal. You might have done me a favor, actually. It's about time I got a new phone, and this could be the perfect excuse," I quipped, waving my phone playfully. The boy chuckled warmly.

"Thanks for not making me feel awful about it," he admitted, appearing relieved. "I'm Charlie, by the way." He extended his hand, and I shook it with a friendly smile.

I responded, "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet you, Charlie." The friendly atmosphere that had enveloped us earlier seemed to dissipate, leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

Charlie finally broke the silence, his voice tinged with shyness. "Sorry, but I can't help but notice the accent..."

I smiled, realizing his curiosity. "Oh yeah, I'm from America. We just moved here last week, right down the block," I stated, hoping to ease the awkwardness.

Charlie's eyes lit up with excitement. "Right down the block! I live right down that way." I couldn't help but feel my own excitement grow.

"I live where the new flats were built, I think they're called the Avalone Suites or something," I mentioned. Charlie's face instantly lit up with recognition.

"I live right across from you! Everyone around the block has been raving about the new building," he exclaimed,

As Charlie and I walked back to my apartment, he chatted animatedly about the neighborhood, sharing tidbits about the local shops, nearby parks, and the best places to grab a bite. It was clear he was friendly and genuinely excited to have a new neighbor.

During our conversation, we made another delightful discovery – we were both going to the same school. It was a pleasant surprise that eased my earlier concerns about not knowing anyone in this new place.

By the time we reached my apartment building, Charlie had almost talked my ear off, but I didn't mind one bit. With a warm smile, I turned to him and said, "Thanks for walking me back, Charlie. I guess I won't be starting school completely alone."

Charlie grinned in response; his eyes filled with genuine friendliness. "Anytime, Y/N. I'm looking forward to seeing you at school."

We added each other on each other's socials before we parted ways.

Part 2: https://www.tumblr.com/cutecurly-hair/727972531449020416/hearts-unleashed-part-2?source=share

#kit connor #black reader #nick nelson x reader #black!fem!reader #heartstopper #nick nelson x y/n #nick nelson fanfic #nick nelson x fem!reader #nick nelson x blackreader #charlie spring #heartstopper fanfic #heartstopper netflix #heartstopper fandom

87 notes · View notes

justinspoliticalcorner · 24 days

Text

Dean Obeidallah at The Dean's Report:

In two interviews released this week, Donald Trump made it clear that he will only accept the results of the 2024 election if he wins. And even more alarming, Trump—as he did in 2020 —is beginning the process of radicalizing his supporters to commit another Jan 6 type attack if he loses. Before we get into Trump’s comments, please understand that none of this should come as a surprise. After all, Trump attempted a coup and the incited the deadly Jan 6 attack on our Capitol yet he walks free almost three and a half years later. When a corrupt person like Trump is not swiftly held accountable for his crimes, he will not change his conduct. In fact, he will be emboldened to engage in that same conduct—if not worse.

That is why for years I was slamming Attorney General Merrick Garland in both articles and on cable news for his failure to promptly charge Trump with crimes. At the very least, Garland should have appointed a Special Counsel to investigate Trump for Jan 6 related crimes as soon as he was sworn in as AG in March 2021. But instead—as we know from reporting—Garland slow walked the investigation into Trump. Consequently, Trump is the 2024 GOP presidential nominee and if he wins in November, he will escape accountability for his federal crimes.

That bring us to Trump’s recent interviews where he is copying his 2020 playbook to both delegitimize the election results if he loses and prepare his supporters for violence on his behalf. On Wednesday, in an interview with the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel while in Wisconsin for a rally, Trump was asked if he would accept the results of the 2024 election. As the Journal Sentinel noted, Trump “did not commit to accepting the results of the 2024 election.” Rather, he stated, “If everything's honest, I'll gladly accept the results.” But Trump then added ominously, “If it's not, you have to fight for the right of the country." Trump saying his supporters have to “fight” if he loses instantly conjures up what he said after the 2020 election to radicalize his supporters to ultimately wage the Jan 6 terrorist attack. In fact, at the rally on Jan 6 before the attack, the crowd’s war cry was, “Fight for Trump!” And Trump bellowed the word “fight” or “fighting” to that riled up MAGA crowd 20 times before they waged the actual attack.

Trump made these same points in his series of Time interviews released this week. When asked about the potential of political violence, Trump should have made it clear given Jan 6, he rejects it and calls on his supporters to do the same. In fact, he should have mimicked the words of President Biden in 2022 on this very issue: “I want to say this plain and simple: There is no place for political violence in America. Period. None. Ever.” Trump didn’t. Instead, when Trump was first asked by the reporter: “Are you worried about political violence in connection with this November's election?” Trump responded, “I think we're gonna have a big victory. And I think there will be no violence.”

The reporter then pressed Trump in a follow up interview on the point: “On our last conversation you said you weren't worried about political violence in connection with the November election. You said, “I think we're going to win and there won't be violence.” What if you don't win, sir?” To that Trump said, “I do think we're gonna win. We're way ahead. I don't think they'll be able to do the things that they did the last time, which were horrible.” But alarmingly he then added, “And if we don't win, you know, it depends. It always depends on the fairness of an election.”

[...] If there had not been a Jan 6 attack, we could dismiss Trump’s words as being nothing more than overheated campaign rhetoric. But we can’t. As the Jan 6 House committee’s final report put it: “The central cause of January 6th was one man, former President Donald Trump, whom many others followed. None of the events of January 6th would have happened without him.”

In recent interviews with both Time and the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, Donald Trump ominously hinted at a repeat of what happened during 2020 elections aftermath if he doesn't win: more election denial and violence incitement.

#Donald Trump #Milwaukee Journal Sentinel #2024 Elections #2024 Wisconsin Elections #2024 Presidential Election #The Big Lie #Election Denialism #Time Magazine

32 notes · View notes

colorfulcowboykingdom · 29 days

Text

Guess who's trying to write a post-island story (long post)

CW just incase: Mentions of depression, vague mention of death and trauma

**Note, I'm not good at writing characters, nor am I good at telling stories, tell me any changes I can make to this story Also, the descriptions are very vague because this is just the draft of it**

Over-run:

• Boys leave the island on May 23rd, 1953

• After being rescued from the island, the boys are sent to the hospital to have their injuries checked. Many boys families have either died, or have no way of finding there kids again so they stay at the hospital for a few weeks

• The boys are sent to the foster care system, some stay for a few weeks, and some stay for months or years

• If a boy was taken in by a family, they would either move to a different city or move to a different country, but most stayed in England

• The boys have trauma from the island and are either sent to boarding schools for troubled kids or go to therapy instead

• Some of the boys go back to the schools they had been in before (like the choir)

• Few boys partake in interviews about their time on the island (especially Ralph)

• Horrible things ensue after they get back, and things get worse during high-school

Now onto the characters in the story!!! (for now)

Ralph

• Spend 2 months in the foster care system, gets adopted by a new family (father is presumed to be dead, or either away from the country)

• Being in foster care messes him up a bit, conditions aren't good, he refuses to eat most of the food given to him, very agitated at this time, very jumpy and disconcerted.

• He has a hard time getting used to his new surroundings

• Very uncomfortable with his new family and finds it difficult to form a healthy bond with them

• His family thinks that if he talks about his feeling he"ll feel better, and might open up more. But we will not open up to his family about what happened, they try there best to help him but be won't budge

• Even though he doesn't like the idea, he's forced to go to therapy because his family thinks he needs to open up about his feelings and thoughts (also because he won't talk about anything with his family)

• He decides to pick up a diary and writes in it when he can't physically communicate with people (this becomes important for the plot)

• Therapy doesn't help, so he's sent to a boarding school instead (this doesn't help either)

• Graduates in 1959 ( gets held back one year, so he was supposed to graduate in 1958)

• Goes to college, drops out of two different ones due to troubles

• Settles down in his third college and meets Maurice (very unlikely but oh well)

• He hates his guts at the start but finds that he's starting to form a type of bond with him and gets very confused on why

• Few months pass and he meets other people from the island and it sends him to a downwards spiral

• Major survivals guilt

• Acute trauma (an isolated or single event that causes an individual to be traumatized)

• Very depressed

• Night terrors

• Dies in 1960 (will disclose how later...maybe)

• His diary is published as an autobiography by his foster family, this causes a documentary to be made about the island as things that haven't been told before are exposed and cause some outrage

Jack

• Spends one month max in the foster care system, his family is still in England and get called to get him out of the system

• Things are worse for Jack back home, his family has become more neglectful towards him and full on abandon him

• Due to lack of care from his family, he slowly depends on any form of attention wether it be positive or negative

• Develops mommy and daddy issues (damn!)

• Back at school, the choir disbanded and barely any of the members talk to each other. Almost everyone avoids Jack (except for Roger and, to an extent, Maurice)

• His parents don't even think to get him therapy, they send him to a boarding school for troubled kids. He's very afraid of being alone at this time, but luckily he meets Roger there so he isn't alone (There relationship is not healthy)

• There relationship can be described as codependent, and very one-sided

• Roger splits with Jack and it devastates him, he goes into a depressive episode for a few months

• Able to graduate in 1958, goes to college and somewhat gets better (then he meets Ralph, so not for long)

• Comes back in contact with some of the choir members, he only succeeded in getting in touch with Roger and, later on, Maurice

• Complex trauma (multiple traumatic events)

• Pushes the island trauma to the back of his mind to try and forget about everything, but it doesn't work

• Believes he's being haunted by Simon's ghost because he has nightmares where Simon appears most of the time

• Also depressed

• Finds out about Ralph's death and goes into another depressive episode for a span of 7 months

• He's included in the documentary after Ralph's death and has a copy of Ralph autobiography

This is all I have for now, I will post another part of Maurice, Roger, and Robert soon (may not be today)

#lord of the flies #lotf fandom #post island #text post #lotf #lotf jack #lotf ralph #please be kind if you have any criticism

17 notes · View notes

stromuprisahat · 4 months

Text

While I could feel for Alina, I can't bring myself to do the same for Zoya, and one of the reasons is her added (retconned) backstory.

We meet Alina around her 17th year of age. She's sickly, with whole encyclopaedia worth of mental issues from being brainwashed from her orphanage to self-gaslighting and some more. She never gets over most of them. The thing is, one can see why.

Not only the story takes place in barely a year, soon we learn there's such a thing as wasting sickness, severe deterioration of Grisha health, occurring when they're not using their powers. And Alina somehow managed to do it for longer than is usual. Suddenly, her stock of issues makes sense. Physical chronic diseases like to be accompanied by mental ones, untreated mental ones often snowball into more and WORSE. Alina's physical health was like on a swing during that short time of the trilogy, her brain probably gave up its healing efforts after the second whiplash...

It's frustrating, reading about a girl, who started off weakened and frail, to not just never get better, but eventually end up SO MUCH worse. It's not a story to make you cheer, but pity, especially since the terror of reality's not even acknowledged.

Then you have Zoya, at first an arrogant bitch with dead aunt. She's a year or two older than Alina, already out in the world, in contact with ordinary people, represented by her said relative. Her main story takes place some three years later, in a country that makes you grow up quickly. It's only logical to expect more mature character... logical...

Instead we get a girl- a girl, not a woman- who lives in her black-and -white bubble, rash and short-sighted, still seeking someone to take her under their (preferably ~his~) wing, too afraid she'll have to stand on her own two legs, idealizing victimhood and when reality proves too cruel, she chooses not to believe it.

While reader's expecting her to overcome consequences of her past, she's clutching her trauma like a teddy bear (and I don't mean that one death, but her mommy/daddy issues), because if she let it go, she'd have to face the real world, that's far from the simplicity of stories she likes to tell herself.

Unlike Alina, the only thing standing between her and development, is HERSELF.

Her unwillingness to quit clinging to status quo, because what is she, if not the lone ship in a sea she has no impact on? Although she goes through training that's supposed to make her face her past, the growth is nowhere to be seen. But then again those faults are just what her "mentor" needed in order to use her as a credulous meatsuit...

What makes it a drop more frustrating for the reader, is LB's favourite pastime- ignoring consequences of her MCs choices. The author's favour ensures Ravka doesn't fall, and Zoya's thick plot armour won't allow her existence to cease under the preassure of hundreds of years old mind of a stranger SHE let in.

#Grishaverse #grishanalyticritical #Alina Starkov #Zoya Nazyalensky #V #anti Zoya #anti Leigh Bardugo

41 notes · View notes

narcissisticpdcultureis · 4 months

Note

cw: vent as long as should be expected from reddit refugee, r*ssian psychiatry being as dehumanizing as every other things in this country, english at the level of a non-native who got lost in reality while writing at least twice;

massive tw: forced hospitalization, suicidal troughs mention, abusive therapist and cruelty i suppose?

i don't even want to start it with "NPD culture is" cause i honestly (desperately) want that no one here will relate with my experience. i also will completely understand if this rant will not be posted, it's long, terrible, it's about may be specific to my doomed country's doomed medical care only. even i myself wish to having no idea about it. i not even goin to be anon here since i have a little fate in this end up posted.

well, NPD culture is dissociating each time anyone share they ideas about how often they supposed (they always supposed that is "never") pwNPD are searching for a therapy. i was the one who did search indeed and found out unpleasant fact that not only i won't get any help, but the one who should help me eventually will try to utterly destroy me. it's was what happened last time, i believe now i could have PTSD and here's the story.

after some dramatic events my npd symptoms slowly started getting much worse. i won’t describe everything, it’s enough to mention that during the year since the dramatic events™, i almost completely isolated myself from society and almost stopped doing anything for my studies, trying to avoid negativity from people around me. i tried seeing a counselor in college to address at least this issue, i can't remember anything about her other than she blamed me for my "parenting stance" and kept telling me i didn't want to work on myself and just wanted to blame everyone but myself for my condition. i tried to visit another psychologist. and another. while i was spending my last money trying to find a specialist who would at least hear me, it was getting worse, maybe because of the my belief that everyone would always be against me. when idea about getting lost in a river nearby my house became more common through than "go brush your teeth" i went to a town psychoneurological dispensary... i should have go to work spending the rest of my vitality to pay for another attempt at private psychotherapy.

just going to the dispensary was humiliating, and by that time I had already lost the idea that it was shameful to seek help. i had to describe troubling symptoms to the psychiatrist on duty... standing in a room full of strangers, only some of whom were medical staff, and the psychiatrist himself looked at me like i was a maggot. and I had to go through this procedure twice, because the first time, “I’m constantly thinking about throwing myself into the river,” apparently they didn’t hear. when i finally got to the dispensary, all those tests that were done to assess my sanity.... the wording of the questions was humiliating to say the least, and even with my belief that i was the most honest person in the world, i admit that lied on that tests. again, no one listened to me, patients in general were given as little attention as possible. when one of the conversations with the therapist she touched on a topic that was painful for me and i couldn't hold back my tears, i was threatened that if I didn't pull myself together i would be sent to a hospital. which exactly what happened.

this was supposed to be the longest part of the story, but it's physically hard for me to describe what happened, so I'm just listing it. i was not allowed to contact my family, to take any things, at least clothes from home, they just put me in an ambulance and took me to this prison. they took my phone and I didn't see any of my stuff until I was discharged. when they brought me in, they injected me with something and did it for the three days i was in the isolation ward where they put all the newcomers. later on, they transferred me to a general ward and again every day they gave me a hell of a lot of medicine. I don't know what they were. i know how it sounds but alas this is how russian psychiatric hospitals work and this horror can be confirmed in the stories of other... survivors? we were not allowed outside (because of covid they say), there were no family visitation days, the only thing we did was to walk along the corridor along the wards. no privacy, no emotions allowed, YOU a nothing.

i spent a month there. for crying. i could have gone longer, but I was able to convince the superintendent at the weekly meeting that i could be returned to the care of the dispensary. when I left, i was told that my good behavior would get me bipolar instead of schizoaffective disorder so they "wouldn't ruin my life." what does schizoaffective disorder have to do with anything? ut's what in this country they like to diagnose when they don't know what to diagnose. doesn't really matter if you fit criteria. i didn't fit any of them, so thanks for... not ruining my life i guess.

it took me two years to recover from all this. i think i'm mostly fine as long as no one mentions how bad narcissists are for not going to therapy. like even though I know I need therapy, i can't bring myself to do it. i know there must be normal therapists, but I feel too deep a dislike and distrust of people in this profession. you know... it could cost me life?

#thats horrible nonny im so sorry that all happened to you :(#npd culture is #npd #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #cluster b #psychiatric abuse #abuse tw #suicide tw #ask to tag

19 notes · View notes

autistichalsin · 7 months

Text

I'm probably making a mistake by being vulnerable here, but...

This has been a really hard year for me.

In the last year my grandpa died, a relative committed suicide, I lost a friend to cancer, I've been struggling in grad school, I've had money issues so bad I was counting pennies to buy food for a while, my mom has been getting worse about using me for emotional labor and taking her chronic pain out on me when she gets upset, my anxiety has been bad again, my mom might have blood cancer but she can't even afford to get the blood test that tells her if she has it and they won't run the test until she can produce cash, I've had to listen to my older brother go deeper down the alt-right pipeline while my younger brother and i are queer, I was made to visit my sister (my abuser) in spring which was extremely triggering and I'm still kind of activated from it, I'm having to plan a cross country move and I'm so stressed I haven't even started packing yet even though I have to be there by January, and just…

I really wanted this fandom to be different. I wanted it to be a fun and positive thing that would let me forget all of that. This game came to me at a really hard point in my life.

And this drama took that from me. Probably not permanently. I know most of my mutuals are still here, still happy and excited to talk about Halsin, but quite a few took the other side of the debacle and that really hurts. And some of the things said to me and my friends were deeply triggering for my trauma. Hearing rape wished on someone I like when I know all too well the pain of sexual abuse was deeply painful in ways I don't want to describe in public. I know I'll get mocked for using the terms, I don't care- it was triggering, it was re-traumatizing.

So I'm holding onto these feelings I have, trying to decide what to do with it. The answer i think most will say is to come back and post anyway in spite of "the haters", and that's what I think I want to do, but now there's this fear every time I post that someone, somewhere, is looking to pick apart everything I say looking for a way to... hurt me, or make me out to be problematic, or anything else. And it's hard to do that? Like being watched is one thing, being watched by someone who is actively looking for a way to bully you is even harder.

A big part of why I latched onto Halsin so hard is that more than any character in this game, Halsin shows that it's okay to still be hurt years later, to be strong and okay on the surface but cracking deep down, and as more and more is placed on you, the cracks spread. And I resonated with that so hard. I don't want to lose that sense of comfort and belonging because of some randos. But I also don't want to risk having more triggers flung at me in a place I'm trying to use to navigate my trauma. I feel very stuck here, and that's part of why I'm "in hiding", so to speak, as i try to sort this out.

So... that's me being transparent and open and vulnerable, which I am absolutely sure I'll end up regretting immediately, but I also really needed to get this out because I have been letting a lot of stuff build without really talking out how much I've been stressed and hurting, and... this was kind of the straw, really.

51 notes · View notes

the-rainbow-lesbian · 18 days

Note

I'm not Jewish so I don't really have much of a personal stake in the situation but I must admit there is something about all this stuff that just feels...wrong...

I support Palestinian independence and I think what Israel is doing is objectively wrong. It does sorta seem they're trying to wipe the Palestinians out so they don't have to worry about them anymore, seeing as how they've been bombing places that were supposedly safe. Killing children will not bring the hostages back.

That being said, something about the way people are so quick to act as if Israel is the single most evil country in the world (as if others haven't also committed human rights violations) is so strange to me. And the way people are outright calling for the extermination of Israel, not even in a subtle way. Like it or not, there are people who live there and they won't have anywhere to go. Why is extermination of a group of people only okay if it happens to the right group of people? And all these things about how Israel is controlling the media, the claims that the 10/7 massacre was fake just because 40 babies weren't actually beheaded (and acting like it's sooooo out there and crazy to believe that that would actually happen), saying that Jewish people don't have a right to complain about feeling unsafe on campus because Palestinians have it worse... It's scary and the fact that NOBODY is being like "hey guys being pro-Palestine isn't an excuse to be antisemitic" when I'm sure they would have just 10 years ago is CRAZY. It's so easy to do and yet they don't do it. I don't think any criticism of Israel automatically equates to antisemitism, but it's clear to me that the situation is being leveraged to justify antisemitism and I just wish we could bring this up without people being like, "So you think murdering children is okay?" Like, no? You can't say a damn thing about it. Why did people get so extreme so quickly? What happened?

All this is to say I feel very conflicted about all this and although I'm sure you have people trying to paint you as a genocide enabler, I think your heart is in the right place. I appreciate that you're one of the few non-conservatives that look at things from a different angle. I feel like I'm going crazy.

exactly, you're not jewish, and many people don't have any stakes in this game either but they are suddenly very invested in this war when it's not even the most deadly conflict going on in the world, people only supposedly care about palestinians when israel is waging a war against hamas but don't really care about palestinians who live in syria and lebanon who live in actual refugee camps and have little to no rights, and generally, people don't care about arabs and middle eastern people, did anyone take to the streets and camp on their campuses to protest the syrian civil war? or to protest the horrendous atrocities the IRGC commits against the iranian people?

there is a difference between "children die in wars and that's very tragic" and "israel a jewish majority country is actively targeting children" and there are propaganda machines that are very much invested in having you believe that israel is some sort of genocidal evil state hellbent on killing children for fun, even though if genocide was israel's goal they would've already nuked gaza and not sent soldiers on the ground and risk their lives, and not continue to allow aid in and open one more entry point in shalom karem crossing that they had to close later because hamas shot rockets and killed two soldiers, hamas has been preventing civilians from accessing aid since this war started and now prevented more aid from entering to gaza through that crossing.

you might be getting there in noticing a pattern but it's all connected, you say israel is "objectively wrong" but if you were kidnapped by a terrorist organization would you want your government to do absolutely nothing to rescue you? unfortunately casualties are a reality of war and I think every decent person wishes that wars would all collectively stop but we live in reality and when a terrorist organization invades your border and massacres your civilians you have the right to defend yourself, and israel has warned civilians in advance to evacuate before they begin striking an area, this is the most recent example of them trying to urge a family to leave rafah asap and the response is both horrifying and eye opening x

people here in the west don't understand the middle east and your naivety is being taken advantage of, I know I sound like a conspiracy theorist but the terrorist organizations who want to eradicate israel know they can't defeat the idf so they are trying to win the information war by investing in this propaganda that israel is committing a genocide and targeting women and children and that israel is also the worst country in the world and they are using good old blood libels so that people turn against jews like they did when the nazis took over, do you think they started with rounding up jewish civilians to the gas chambers or with propaganda that dehumanized and demonized jewish people to allow this to happen? unfortunately stupidity is in abundance and people in the west are such useful idiots.

7 notes · View notes