Tumgik
#or at least put this one in order
musubiki · 1 year
Photo
Tumblr media
i firmly believe she got picked as a judge just to counteract his vibes
13K notes · View notes
liquidstar · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media
this is not a comprehensive list
#in order from left to right (with explanations):#k on#(self explanatory. definition of moe.)#a place further than the universe#(theyre at least a little insane for going all the way to antarctica for funsies)#bocchi the rock#(good mix of insane and sweet. most of the insane parts come from bocchi herself)#nichijou#(literally so much happened all the time)#and asobi asobase#(they did do arson)#i haven't seen azumanga daioh or yuru camp and i never finished lucky star#but based on what i know abt the first two id put it... azumanga between bocchi and nichijou. and yuru camp with or after k on#and from what i remember abt lucky star its also just after k on#a bit quirkier but nothing ever really happens in it. as far as i watched. which is why i stopped watching LOL#but thats all assumptions and second hand knowledge so i figured i shouldnt actually include them unless i was SURE#i also thought abt putting asteroid in love in here too but that one is a bit more niche so i left it out#i also excluded any idol shows bc that feels like a different category. and would make this too long#sorry zombieland saga and love live....#i also excluded straight up yuri. this is more abt Hanging Out than romance. but some is allowed as long as its not the focal point#like kita in btr. shes very yuri but the show isnt about that#you could probably also put is the order a rabbit on here but idr much from that. i think i watched like 3 episodes umm 100 years ago#i also thought abt putting the highschool girls segments from daily lives of highschool boys here. but they arent in most of the show#tho theyd probably go between nichijou and asobi asobase. or maybe on par w nichijou#that one girl did almost kill the other two with a rock as im sure youve all seen
647 notes · View notes
taddymason · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Imagine how sad it is that Jay doesn't even remember his parents, he doesn't know his own age, or his birthday. He's been all alone for years since he can't trust anyone enough with his secret and no one cares about anything but work. He's stuck in a job he hates but knows nothing else.
yeah, I have many thoughts about him…
Also go watch this video please it's literally Amnesiac Jay
youtube
214 notes · View notes
bamsara · 3 months
Text
if yall have any recommendations for stores or shops that sells lots of cute little stationary stickers and washi stuff pls drop a link :P (NOT those Amazon 50pc things full of stolen art tho please)
239 notes · View notes
moongothic · 4 months
Note
So I'm confused about something. There was a cover story about Ms Goldenweek and other Baroque works agents breaking Crocodile out of prison but he just. Told them no? And stayed there with Mr 1 and Mr 2? I don't get why he wanted to go to Impel Down just to break out when he had the chance
I can't tell you 100% why Crocodile chose to stay in prison and go to Impel Down, but my best guess really is that he was just...
Taking the L with grace
More specifically. Crocodile had lost everything. I think deep inside he might've been literally too depressed to want to go free again.
Tumblr media
Like he does literally say that. He gave up.
He had been building his reputation as "the Hero of Alabasta" for at least 10 years at this point. He had built not just a criminal organization that he had been running for four years, but also he had been running legal business stuff (like his casino) for probably longer than that. A decade's worth of work and effort to take over a country, and most importantly, get away with it. The reason he had orchestrated that whole rebellion was so that the rebels and the royal family could "take each other out", leaving the country wide open for a World Government Official such as himself to take up. The reason Baroque Works was doing this all in secret was so that the WG never found out, otherwise they wouldn't have let him have Alabasta.
But indeed, his plans were foiled by a kid in flipflops in less than 24 hours, just at the final moment before Crocodile would win. He lost everything. And the World Government found out about what he had been planning.
So even if he escaped from that prison with his former agents, what was he going to do?
He wouldn't be able to take over Alabasta anymore because he did not have manpower (as he had lost all his goons), and having lost his financial empire he wouldn't be able to build a new army any time soon. And even if he did, now that they knew what he had done the people of Alabasta would not accept him as their new king, even if he personally assasinated Cobra and the entire family. Not to mention, the WG finding out about his plans meant that they had every fucking reason to try and stop Crocodile if he did as much as set foot on that island again. By which I mean, they could launch a Buster Call on his ass. Send all the fucking Admirals after him. And so, even if Crocodile still believed Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta and that he just had to comb through the entire desert to find it... Between the Alabastan people and the WG in the way, finding Pluton would not be easy. Especially when Robin wouldn't even be there to just point him directly to it. It could take years, if not decades, while fighting off the WG by himself. And that's while assuming Pluton was somewhere in Alabasta. Like WE the readers now know Pluton is in Wano, but since Robin didn't tell him that. All Robin said was that the Poneglyph "didn't mention the weapon", and Cobra's reaction to the name merely proved the weapon's existence in Crocodile's mind. But surely, because Crocodile is a smart young man, he'd understand there was a risk that Pluton could exist, but just not be in Alabasta, right? Like that would be a possibility too, right?
I think this is why Crocodile has given up on Alabasta. He had one opportunity at seizing the country, and he failed. And without Robin, he could spend the rest of his life combing through a haystack for a needle when there's no needle, and he'd have no idea. I think is why he explicitly says in Impel Down he no longer has "interest in that country". He won't be able to pull off another stunt like this, ever.
And that leads us back to "why not escape earlier and avoid going to Impel Down to begin with". Thanks to his status as a Shichibukai, Crocodile hasn't been on the run from the WG for like two decades. And the past 10 or so years he has seemingly lived a life of luxury in his funny little casino. But now, having lost everything, he'd be back on the run. And because he's a world famous former "hero of the people", there would be nowhere he'd be able to go where people would not recognize him and send the marines after him. So he'd be on the run, for the rest of his life or until he'd get capture again. And mind you, the guy does not trust anyone, so he'd be on the run alone. Without any purpose or goal.
And you might be thinking, "Daz and the rest of BW was still there!", yeah, arguably true. But at this point Crocodile had no reason to trust any of them. Like personally, I think the reason Crocodile ended up taking a liking to Daz was BECAUSE he chose to follow him to Impel Down when he really did not have to. Like Daz showed an unusual level of loyalty to Crocodile, and I think Crocodile recognized that. That's why Daz is still with Croc, post-timeskip. But Miss Goldenweek and co? Crocodile had no reason to believe they wouldn't betray him if given a chance and a reason. And if the WG would come chasing his ass, they'd have plenty of reason to try and betray Croc (handing Crocodile over to spare their own lives). Not to mention, when they come release their former boss from jail, what did Miss Goldenweek say?
"Let's do Baroque Works again"
As I've already explained in detail, I think we might know why Crocodile wasn't interested in being Baroque Works' "boss" again.
So. Yeah. If in Crocodile's mind he'd be on the run from the Government for the first time in two decades all alone, in a situation where rebuilding what he had before would be bloody hard if not downright impossible, and he wouldn't be able to obtain what he had spent the last decade working for regardless...
Taking the L and just going to prison might've been the easier option
#Moon posting#Asks#OP Meta#Sir Crocodile#Long post#Mind you Crocodile only *left* jail because he saw AN AMAZING OPPORTUNITY for petty revenge#Like had it not been for that war bringing Whitebeard out he probably would not have bothered to try and fight WB again#Otherwise he could've just escaped prison with Goldenweek and co and travelled to the New World to fight the old man right away#((Also theoretically Crocodile might've been slightly suicidal with the ''taking WB's head'' thing))#Also worth noting that Crocodile choosing to stay in prison could've had two other purposes re:the former agents#It could've been a test of loyalty (to see if anyone would stay with him or would they all abandon him)#Which could be important to Mr Trust Issues (and to be fair he did find at least one loyal subordinate in Daz)#((Like if they had all told Croc they'd stay with him...... Who knows. Maybe he might've chosen to escape after all?))#Other option: Crocodile escaping with them would mean the agents would be in much more danger than they'd be without him#Like the WG wouldn't send tons of marines after the individual agents if they all scattered to the winds#But if they all stuck together they'd become a bigger target. And even more so if Crocodile was there to lead them#And like. IDK if Crocodile was willing to leave out Goldenweek from the assassination order and spare her... Maybe this was the same#Maybe he wanted to spare Goldenweek (and the rest?) from being put into danger by going with them?#I dunno man this reptile has far too many layers to him I can't tell what's going on in his head
60 notes · View notes
blood-choke · 14 days
Text
Tumblr media
26 notes · View notes
ride-a-dromedary · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
the darkest of nights, in truth, still dazzles.
a halsin fanmix  [listen]
01. Heart of Spring - david arkenstone | 02. Cé Hé Mise Le Ulaingt? / The Two Trees - loreena mckennit | 03. Pussywillows, Cat-tails - gordon lightfoot | 04. Maybe Tomorrow - f&m | 05. Don't Stop Me Now - queen | 06. I Was Born Under a Wand'rin' Star  - bryn terfel  | 07. A Tenuous Bond - derek duke | 08. Closer - nine inch nails | 09.  Into the Darkness - jeremy soule  | 10.  Colorblind - counting crows | 11. Natural Light - ludovico einaudi | 12. Under the Greenwood Tree - royal shakespeare company | 13. The Grove - bear mccreary | 14. Blood Upon the Snow - hozier & bear mccreary | 15. A Quiet Darkness - houses | 16. Spellplague - alderfall | 17. Empty Chairs at Empty Tables - jonathan antoine | 18. Only Everyone Can Judge Me - crywank | 19. Blue Skies - kathryn calder | 20. The Buzzard - old blind dogs | 21. Constant Craving - k.d. lang | 22. The Cave - mumford and sons | 23. Jim Cain - bill callahan | 24. I Won't Back Down - johnny cash | 25. The Ash Grove - laura wright | 26. The Wind - yusuf/cat stevens | 27. To Someone From A Warm Climate (Uiscefhuarithe) - hozier | 28. The Logical Song - supertramp | 29. Tapestry - don mclean | 30. Big Yellow Taxi - joni mitchell | 31. Eat Your Young (Bekon's Choral Version) - hozier | 32. The Flock - david maxxim micic | 33. Changes - david bowie | 34. Ri Na Cruinne - clanaad | 35. The Moments of Happiness - ken page | 36. My Back Pages - the byrds | 37. If This Journey - tom hanford | 38. Turn! Turn! Turn! (To Everything There is a Season) - Live - pete seeger
#BG3 Musing#BG3 Fanmix#Halsin BG3#Halsin#Halsin Posting#my fanmix#i give up this is about as done as it will ever be - i've been talking about this enough i need to get it away from me#i could have made at least one or two other playlists with the number of songs i cut from this#there were some things that hurt me to cut but i figured others had them in their playlists so they're out there#(the impossible dream you will always be famous i am so sorry :(()#i had three goals with this 1. make it more of a timeline in that it follows a narrative order (which hopefully is easy enough to follow)#(it makes sense to me about as much as it is ever going to lol)#2. try to avoid using songs that other individuals have used in their playlists (with a handful of exceptions - i highly encourage you also#take a listen to the others around! lots of good stuff and i figured if you were missing it from this one you can find another with it)#(and if i did use one the context might be different#'closer here is being used in a different way than i usually see it - it's putting more emphasis on the 'you can have my isolation' bit use#in context of the matron and patron for example)#and 3. focus as much as possible on non-romance path elements of halsin's character - i.e. again that's a topic that is highly explored#in other fanmixes to great success - this one is about the childhood he references and the adventures and the capture in the underdark#and the shadow curse and the burying of people he loved and the uptaking of the archdruid position and the healing he did#and possibly did not do#and the radicalization he comes into when his goals are met and he's faced with injustices#and the struggle he has of redefining himself and figuring out who he is after all of it#hopefully the 'eras' are clearly defined but hey it's all gravy from here#honestly if there is one song to listen to that encapsulates halsin for me it's tapestry - highly recommend that#anyway i am blabbing - let the lyrics and such talk for themselves jemi please#but if fanmixes aren't your speed have a kinda nice edit i guess#edit: now with bonus song i just had to add after shamefully forgetting it
32 notes · View notes
puppyeared · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
Ouhhhh friendship I love friendship……..
#I’m reading volumes 14-16 of the ouran manga OOUGHHH MY HEART#I love this weird little friend group so much its unreal#like u have this charming sweeps you off your feet prince but he’s actually a huge lovable idiot with a kind heart and his friends#who are all misfits that he reached out to and drew in because of his kindness and own weirdness like that shits TIGHT BRO#and the trauma part where he has some deep seated issues with love bc he thinks that itll break a family apart like with his mom#how his family isnt allowed to be together because his mom and dad fell in love and how he says he wants to build a big house#so that way one day everyone will get along as a family like. all he wants is not to lose everyone and the only way to do that is#by maintaining a certain order.. he both wants a complete family so bad and doesnt want anything to sour between anyone#so he assigns each of his friends a family role based on how he sees them and YEAH its mostly played for giggles and tamakis#already weird so its his way of showing theyre close to him but. god damn this boy has LAYERS#it also feels kinda meta towards how found family tends to get thrown around to assign characters as 'siblings' or family roles instead of#using it to describe characters who are close enough to be each others family. cuz tamakis doing that EXACT THING in a way tht#ties in with his character and i have to say its fascinating using that within the story itself and its completely plausible#theres a lot of things i can say about ouran that are good bad and questionable but. god i love it when characters are niceys to each other#i remember i really liked the mall episode bc kyoya and haruhi got to spend time together and their relationship isnt very close#but it was really nice to see their personalities bounce off each other. i think i also wouldve liked to see haruhi alone with kaoru#i also firmly believe all of the hosts are at least a little in love with haruhi and this can be anything like endearing romantic cuz like#who DOESNT love haruhi. kyoya i think would want to study her under a microscope like his fascination with her draws him in#but im fucking obsessed with whatever haruhi and tamaki have going on because YES hes obsessed with her YES he jumps at the chance to#put her in a cute costume but haruhi? she just fucking goes with it because she knows hes fun to be around even if hes a little wacky abt i#theyre all so. NNGGHHHH#ouran#ohshc#yapping
31 notes · View notes
yaoigoddess9158 · 2 months
Text
Somehow trying to read TGCF, LOTM, and TCF at the same time and it is NOT working out (probably just going to read one at a time)
39 notes · View notes
cozylittleartblog · 6 months
Note
I want to buy a sticker from your shop, but shipping (to Canada) is down as $22 before tax. May I ask why it costs so much to ship a single sticker? Is it Etsy being weird, or does it really cost that much to send an envelope over the border?
I'm not trying to be snarky or passive aggressive or anything, I'm genuinely just kind of befuddled atm.
A fair question honestly! USPS sets the rates for international shipping, and shipping to canada really is about that expensive 😭 I considered sending stickers via envelopes, but 1. if I send them with a stamp (less than $2) they don't have tracking, and etsy Does Not Like That. I gotta send packages with shipping to qualify for star seller, plus it covers your ass in case USPS loses it. and 2. apparently it's illegal to send merchandise internationally in envelopes!! so sadly we're all stuck dealing with the super crazy international rates. I don't like it either because as someone who deals in trinkets, people generally do not want to pay $16 for a charm that costs $12, and they especially don't want to pay that for a sticker that costs $4... I would ABSOLUTELY have way more international sales if USPS wasn't fucking us with the prices but it's out of my control dssdjkfjksdf
I give this advice a lot, but if you don't want to pay international shipping (or just live in a country I don't ship to myself), you can borrow the address of a friend that lives in the states and they can forward it to you! I don't actually know if this is cheaper, but some people have said it is. it's def cheaper for stickers though if your friend uses a stamp!
TL;DR yeah etsy and USPS are Both Weird, sorry ; - ; i assure you i hate it even More than you do lmao
39 notes · View notes
nozomijoestar · 4 months
Text
Asuka is a tragic figure, a figure of mystery, a wild card, all because the only thing she wants in life is peace and quiet for herself and to feel in control- yet her secret heritage that may be hidden from her for her own protection and the reality that life is unpredictable and will go on with or without you keep ruining that delusion, that vision of how the world is meant to work to her, and she suffers regardless of what she wants, what she does, and how little she understands anything
She was born into a family preaching peace and balance and order while being a creature of violence, and puts a dozen mental locks and excuses over this truth to justify giving into her impulse for fighting by pretending she's justice when she does it
She keeps trying to build a place of safety but she's using sand and life is a wave that destroys, yet she stubbornly persists rather than give up, not drowned to the point of self centered suicidal loathing like Jin- there's contrast, where Jin is cloaked in death Asuka stubbornly clings to life and humanity as a normal person in a terrifying world
She's not a fucking narrative clone for Jun's own purpose, Asuka's purpose must be determined by Asuka herself
#tekken#Jin is born of two worlds Jun walks between two worlds Asuka is at the crossroads of two worlds#Jin is broken by it Jun traded part of her humanity to reconcile it and now Asuka has to accept it yet persist- she is always persisting#that's her strength that no matter what she's always still herself#'For being so very Y o u' as Lili told her bc she sees it#she's an interesting character BECAUSE she's not Jun and she's not Jin and she's not aligned with them entirely#stop waiting for her to be something she's not#also i think it's GOOD she doesn't know everything or everyone in her family bc that builds mystery and suspense#it gives everything a tension in the background for when the normalcy charade will be broken by the bigger family drama catching up w her#what's happening to the Mishimas should be something no one is dragged into yet the one family member who's the least connected#is going to run out of time at some point and get hit by that trauma anyway and she doesn't even Know it's coming for her eventually#isn't it fucked up. how everything catches up with you in the end#and you won't even understand it until it's too late ie. her involvement in T8 global war now#also a character that wants peace and order but actively pursues violence ensuring she will never truly have those things bc of her nature#AND she's already been traumatized by T5 Feng and T6 Jin that just makes her retreat to seeking comfort in detachment- in the familiar#which only prolongs her avoiding the world outside what she can control- and then Lili won't let her live in ignorance not to punish her#but bc she wants to help her bc the Mishimas have already put their claws in Lili- they won't catch Asuka off guard#what is it with people sanitizing the messiness and humanity characters represent in favor of 'If they just acted logically the way I want#then they'd solve the entire story 1 2 3 and we'll have everything wrapped up easy' THAT'S NOT A STORY THAT'S A MATH EQUATION#FEEL SOMETHING INSTEAD OF ALWAYS NEEDING TO SOUND SMART AND HAVE PERFECT ANSWERS YOU STUPID FUCKS#IN TRYING TO MAKE EVERYTHING HAVE A PERFECT SOLUTION YOU'VE LOST SIGHT OF WHAT'S IN THE TEXT#AND ALSO ASUKA BEING VIOLENT BUT STILL CARING ABOUT PEOPLE AND DOING GOOD DESPITE IT#and AsuLili is about two similar people who've been traumatized finding safety in each other once they put down the trauma responses#this is all in line with T8's tagline of Face Your Fate btw this is literally what was always coming finding you & you face it
23 notes · View notes
palms-upturned · 2 years
Text
Tbh as a cane user it’s a little funny to me that Harry gets shot in the leg (and potentially the shoulder) and then has to just. Continue w his Jamrock shuffle. Sounds like a wheelchair situation to me, but damn, nobody had even a spare cane for the guy? Crutches, perhaps? Couldn’t even like go out and get a particularly large stick? He reopens his wound just by taking a nap and having a nightmare, and then if u try and let him catch his breath you’ll just trigger the idle animation where Cuno makes Harry give him a piggy back ride 😩 and then you can’t even do drugs about it or Jean will bully you. How about I shoot YOU in the shoulder and the thigh and see how well YOU do even trying to MOVE without fourteen different substances in you, hm?? Anyway I think there should be a cane in the game with +2 Pain Threshold (pain management) +1 Volition (soldiering on) -2 Hand/Eye Coordination (hands full) and +1 Half Light (improvised weapon)
361 notes · View notes
katnissmellarkkk · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
my aesthetics :
the second quarter quell generation, pt one (aka the generation with all the principal characters’ parents, and then also haymitch)
#thg#hunger games#haymitch abernathy#Katniss everdeen#Peeta mellark#maysilee donner#thgedit#okay so in order this goes#Haymitch Haymitch’s girl katniss’s parents Peeta’s parents and then the donner twins#i will make a part 2 with the characters if I can think of more than gales parents#if I can’t hazelle and her husband will be retroactively added into this one#myaesthetics#myedit#ya lit aesthetic#ya lit edit#and yeah this may be shameless promo one day for my lil 2nd quarter quell ficcy#which is why the little title for Mr E is confusing !!! because a lot of this is about my made up lore!!! his mom is Maude ivory but she#disappeared when he was a child#which is why Katniss knows nothing about her own gramma!!!#ok anyways if I ever write it all the little titles will make sense but for now they’re confusing because I made this specially for me for#my made up headcanons that make no sense to anyone else lololololol#oh oh oh also I put black eyes in both Katniss’ mom and Peeta’s mom’s edits for a reason!!!#ok so like I always interpreted it that abuse in the merchant class was more common#like what Peeta obviously went through at home was actually normalized in his circle#and it’s also implied Katniss’ mom was shunned by her parents for marrying Katniss’ dad so I figure they couldn’t have been good parents#and then Peeta’s mom Ruby also has blood on her own hands because we know she one day is abusive to her own kids so it’s like#she experienced abuse and then continues the terrible circle#but obviously Katniss’ mom lavender does not! she has other issues though but the young version is so fun to play with#also young Haymitch and his girl here would be the most judgey pretty couple#I have lots of headcanons for them some of which I’ve entwined already into at least one of my fics
14 notes · View notes
mcybree · 21 days
Note
Thoughts on 3rd life mirror birds. 3rd life big dogs. 3rd life property police. They fascinate me and I think you have thoughts on them but I might be wrong..either way
i do in fact have thoughts on them but i think if i talk about 3l!flower husbands publicly any more rn I’ll get so self conscious I’ll explode on the spot. this being said i have still yet to watch evo but its been on my list for forever bc of 3l!property police specifically… i really love martyns petty grudge against jimmy for those first two episodes he acts like he’s 12 and really pissed off on the playground. anyways i think that martyn going from being concerned for his friend to Just Fucking Lying to split up Scott and Jimmy, because he took personal offense to Jimmy being unwilling to drop everything to go live with him on the spot is the funniest thing in the world. Girl it’s not about you
#asks#for real though i think that martyn played up his offense at jimmy not taking the offer in order to pressure him into agreeing bc—#stuff like “oooh this is your ONE CHANCE for FUN OPPORTUNITY and if you miss it WE’RE NOT FRIENDS ANYMORE!!” typically works on jimmy#but martyn wasnt expecting jimmy to stand his ground on that#And at that point (in martyns mind at least) you Have to commit. so then the mock offense became Real. bc what can you do#he cant just go back on it and go like “sorry i was just worried and wanted you to live with me bc i miss you and—#dont think scott is treating you well” martyn would never be that honest with himself much less jimmy#The offer in itself was somewhat selfish to begin with in my mind as well#He did just want Jimmy to come live with him so he saw the opportunity and jumped at it. he’s an opportunist#but i also think he originally followed jimmy and brought it up with him out of concern. does that make sense#a little while after their falling out i think he fully puts jimmy out of his mind#“Jimmys a lost cause he’s clearly done with me. Why should i care when he clearly has a nice loving husband he cares sooo much about#(eyeroll emoji) lets save grian” <- what i think he was thinking#he didnt mean for jimmy to die#but what happens happens yknow. the games the game#sorry for putting all of my Real Thoughts in the tags i wasnt expecting to write them out honestly#i just think about their conversation on that mountain a lot….bigb moves into that specific spot later and martyn gives him shit about it#Which means something to me also (<- bigb and martyn pilled individual)#etc.etc
12 notes · View notes
giantkillerjack · 10 days
Text
Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!
You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!
You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!
You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!
Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!
Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!
So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.
Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!
Better accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues should suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.
Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.
Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*
Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...
Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.
Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.
Better not get confident.
Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)
Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people
- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties
- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations
- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you
- you might start loving the effect you have on a room
- you might enjoy conversations more
- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently
- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations
- you might stop apologizing so much.
- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.
Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!
Why, it would be carnage!!
In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things!
- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.
- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.
- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.
- You might know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.
You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.
So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to take to cut your awkward self some slack for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.
#social skills#i have a few posts now in my ' social skills' tag#original#maybe eventually I will compile them and polish them in some meaningful way. I know what I want to call the book title#in big text it'll say 'I'M AUTISTIC' and then beneath that in smaller text 'And I Have Better Social Skills Than You'#or something to that effect. and the cover of the book will be me making an exaggerated smug face like the little rascal I am#challenging the viewer to pick up the book and see if they can prove me wrong.#and then the entire first section of the book is about how actually the issue with our society's social skills is the harsh judgment#for people who have trouble communicating and not the other way around. I don't actually think I'm the#most charismatic person in the world by a very long shot. but i do know that I have put more thought into my social skills than#most allistic people and frankly i have surpassed most of them. not because i am more persuasive or smooth or funny#(tho i am persuasive and funny lol) but bc i have questioned which social functions are more restriction than utility.#and instead i have focused my energy on actively learning how to make people feel safe. i feel social rules would benefit all people by#being a little more autistic tyvm. i don't think every person should dedicate themselves to being better at communicating#i think people should dedicate themselves to being kind and patient to everyone regardless of their ability to communicate#I think our society wrongly links communication ability to intelligence and intelligence to level of humanity.#when in fact all three of those things are fucking unrelated and connecting them inevitably leads to#really fucked up views on disabled people that hurt us. and then with that aspect of the book firmly understood and established I would#go on to recommend some ways to make socializing easier and more fulfilling (and less shameful and terrifying) for all kinds of people#it wouldn't be a book about Leaning In To Succeed in Business or 'here's how to avoid being the awkward loner at a party'#it'd be a book about how if you see someone alone at a party here's how to invite them to join your group without pressuring them#stuff like 'hot tip! if someone takes a while to type or speak a full sentence - talking over them b4 they can finish makes u an asshole!'#I know that a lot of people cannot or don't want to dump a lot of skill points into socializing like i did and they shouldn't have to in#order to experience basic dignity and respect. if we treat people like that then we just validate that people - especially#autistic children and elders and disabled people of manu varieties - have to suffer unless they learn all these arbitrary bullshit rules#and a lot of them are arbitrary bullshit! one of the reasons I throw people off so much is because I harmlessly break a lot of social rules#but I know I'm doing it and I'm not ashamed and people just don't know what to do with that! but a lot of them like it actually!!#i think it's a relief to be around someone so openly and unrelentingly weird bc what am I gonna do? judge you for being weird??#I only care if you're kind. not necessarily 'nice' or passive. Kind. Brave enough to care about people being treated well. Kind.#also I recognize that at least some of my ability to be openly weird is white privilege so that's important to acknowledge too
8 notes · View notes
bonetrousledbones · 17 days
Text
the thing you all need to understand about writing ebony is that he's like if a middle aged man in an action movie splashing water on his face and glaring in the mirror was freshly 20 years old and also kind of an anime girl
7 notes · View notes