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#one of the og parts of my outline

drill-teeth-art · 1 year

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Wow! Here’s something incredibly personal.

This is Good Bi Gender. A comic I made to express some feelings I have about my gender. I don’t really have that much else to say about it. Here it is.

[Image Description: A digital comic made with sharp, angular abstract lines and only the colors white, blue, pink, and black. The featured character is all white, except for facial features and hair colors, which changes from panel to panel. The comic reads: Cover Panel: The text "Good Bi Gender", the words colored with the trans flag. It shows a glitchy person's face, half pink and half blue. Panel 1: White text reads: "Hello. My name is apparently irrelevant. And my pronouns are he/him and she/her. But you can't call me she/her. And here's why." Someone with a half-pink and half-blue shirt looks to the side. One eye is covered with hair, and the other eye is pink while the iris is blue.

Panel 2: The character sits happily, imagining facial hair and a masculine voice. "I don't want top surgery. I love my chest. And I dream about being on testosterone someday soon." The character looks at a phone, frowning. The phone shows the male symbol with an "X" through it. Text next to it reads: “People don't seem to think that the features I dream of are very pretty though... Or they think even worse of them than that…”

Panel 3: The character’s features are all pink, and sits in a blank frame. The character reaches over to a blue frame, frowning. “I don't like the animosity. I really despise it.” A photo of the character shows an all-blue frame and blue hair, with pink outlines and facial features. “To be a boy... I aspire to be one. I aspire to be masculine in all its handsomeness. All its prettiness.” Panel 4: The character sits in an all blue panel, but reaches back out to the pink panel. “And I'm still a girl too. I was so excited to have both. To love both. To have handsome femininity. Beautiful masculinity.” The frames break and connect, and pink and blue swirl together. The character smiles in between the frames, with one pink eye and one blue eye. “So excited. And yet I get asked…”

Panel 5: Two hands hold out two different pills to the character, one blue and one pink. They ask “Male? or Female?” using the male and female symbols.The character, facial features an array of pink and blue, looks between the two hands, distressed. “It's both! I'm both! They're not opposites. Not narrow boxes. I say I'm both despite the insistence that I can't be. And I know what I look like. I know I look like a girl to most. I know that if I say people can call me she, that's all I will get from most. Because it's "easier". It "makes more sense". To have my masculinity, I am often forced to be unflinching in it and it alone. To never use she. Because if I don't, I will never get to have he.” [The words "she" and "he" are italicized.] Panel 6: Text reads: “I'm still very happy to be so comfortable in my identity. To know, despite all that, that I am indeed a boy and a girl and both. But you know. Telling people to only use he/him for me. Guarding my masculinity all just to have it. All at the expense of the part of me who is happily and unashamedly a girl.” The character cries from one pink eye, the other hidden. The character holds a pink girl in a sea of blue, the girl crying out. In the midst of the blue, text reads: “Well, it fucking breaks her heart.” End ID]

Edit: @starberry-skies wrote an ID for the comic, so I added it to the og post with its permission!

#transgender #trans artwork #original art #digital art #comic

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lust4lore · 5 months

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(finnick + cockwarming pretty please i’ll give you my firstborn child)

anon, i’m in love with you. take all of the forehead kisses. all of them. (btw, call me when that child is born!)

A/N: originally, this was gonna be something where reader and finnick are at a party and it’s kind of public, he’s a little meaner, but i think voyeurism as well as denying his girl anything she wants is a little ooc for him so i chose this instead. i still have the outline of the og, though, so if you’d be interested in reading that and are willing to excuse it lmk!

CW: cockwarming— mind you, fluffy cockwarming, because it’s finn!

MDNI, not proofread i cba 😔🫶

finnick odair would do anything for you. shit, he’s braved hell and back twice just for the chance to catch a glimpse of you again. you’re his world, the love of his life, and the last thing he wants is to see you upset.

which is why, when you entered your shared bedroom with a quivering bottom lip and glistening eyes, he dropped everything immediately.

“hey, hey, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he had asked gently, brows pinching together as concern started seeping in. he beckoned you over to where he sat with open arms, and you gladly went. he pulled you onto his lap, warm hands cupping your face as he searched your eyes for any indication of what the problem could be. “talk to me,” he murmured, anxiety forming a pit in his stomach when you didn’t give him an immediate response.

it had been a long day. all the noise, all the people, all the feelings had gotten to you, and you just needed finnick. needed to turn off your brain in the way only he could. “jus’ had a busy day, too much going on and-” you sniffed, looking up into those sea green eyes and feeling a distant pang of guilt at the panic that was rising in them. “i need you, finn,”

realization flickered across his features and his lips parted before he pressed them together again, his gaze shifting from worried to conflicted. finnick never found it easy to deny you anything— and this wasn’t even something he wanted to say no to— but he had deadlines to fulfill, things that he couldn’t put off any longer. you knew that, you did, but you really were aching for whatever piece of him you could get.

and so, you end up here, still sat in his lap as he slowly presses into you, a quiet whine falling from your lips at the stretch. your face buries itself into his neck, hands bracing his shoulders. “finn,” your voice comes out strained and desperate, just above a whisper as you sink down onto him. “m’right here, sugar, i got you,” his hands rest on your hips, lightly squeezing them in encouragement. you continue to whimper as you take the rest of him, adjusting to the size. “i know, honey, i know,” he soothes, one of his hands coming up from your hips to rub your back.

a few minutes in, you’re a bit more mollified. your thoughts come to a slow, sticky pace, and suddenly, nothing seems so loud anymore. all that’s left in your head is finnick finnick finnick and the comfortable weight of him inside of you. “this what you needed, pretty girl? feel better?” his voice is low against your ear and you give a small nod, because yes, it’s exactly what you needed, but your words are kind of failing you at the moment.

you stay like that for god knows how long, his arm wrapped around your waist as he continues to work, your forehead resting on his shoulder. eventually, though, you shift a little, and it’s just enough to cause his cock to graze that sweet spot inside of you. his muscles tense underneath you as you tighten around him and he makes a sound in between a sigh and a groan, picking you up as though you weigh nothing. “what’re you doing?” you ask, your voice soft and dazed as he sets you down on the bed, hands slipping underneath your shirt and roaming further up as he starts trailing kisses down your neck. “taking care of my girl,” he tells you, and, well,

you’ll have to start having bad days more often.

#𓇼 indigo writes!#𓇼 blurburburb #finnick odair x reader #finnick odair #finnick x reader #the hunger games #finnick odair headcanons #finnick odair smut #finnick imagine #thg finnick

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borderlinebelle · 5 months

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Tumblr Live: it’s not that serious. By BorderlineBelle

Literally I met mutuals of 10+ years on tumblr live.

The hatred over tumblr live was over the top and insane… it truly wasn’t that serious.

If you can stand to be thought critiqued, stay. 🙂

Yes, they robbed us of all our personal info, that’s our choice. Basically.. that’s every single app ever. Wake up. Everyone is just choosing their daddy to participate in this society, which exists ONLINE in equal measure.

Ya’ll bend over to SOME cloud daddy collection somewhere.. unless all your family photos hit printer ink 🫨 why is this the hill you were willing to die on?

Tumblr Live was good.

People hung out, did hobbies, met mutuals, discussed old and new tumblr, made new friends, shared art and music and passion and hobbies…

Before the flood of MeetMe folks… (which was awful. as an OG… I get it) .. it was a chill place to hang out.

The active and consistent and LOUD trolls made it so negative and latched on and like the USUAL TUMBLR PIRANHAS… wouldn’t let it GO.

You made a hashtag and shopped it day and night. Like why???

#TurnOffTumblrLive … was wild.

I consider myself part of the few who supported EVERY FANDOM.. kinda 😅. I’ve been on tumblr for my whole life and before that and I try to be a GOOD community member!

I wasn’t actively working for every fandom 😅 but if it was a high holy holiday of your fandom or a meme or a joke that was so popular it circulated into the main highways of tumblr… that needed spreading… I of course let it roll across my dashboard. I reblogged your top chosen artists and musicians, whomever your communities had chosen … we supported. I supported. As a bit of an outliner. A sad girl yadda yadda mentally ill and sexy… screaming into the void at the porn bots 🤷🏽‍♀️ it was a niche trust me… but I did and do participate with positivity even if I didn’t get the joke.

And … YOU ALL… BURIED AND KICKED AROUND tumblr live as if she was a DiLaurentis triplet. 🤧

It was way overboard imo. 🤧💅🏽

Some people used tumblr live for good. 👁️👁️

Then the REALLY determined trolls harassed the poor CEO guy and we ALL KNOW HE’s STRESSED. His hair is thinning. We can see it and ya’ll demand and do too much. i hope to one day sit with the man and say, “you’re doing mostly, kind of .. a fine job.” 👍🏽😬

Tumblr, in general, is one of the few places left on the interweb that maintains the primary basic deliciousness of self expression through the works of others. It remains from LONG AGO.

Don’t fucking ruin the overall umbrella of the tumblr space… with deep… leaving funny and entering disturbing… cynicism.

Remember the LISTEN to OTHER pov’s too. 🤷🏽‍♀️🙂

Real people exist behind the cameras.

That’s all.

I’m glad it’s gone too.

2024 tumblr is gonna be shmexy.

#personal #tumblr live is dead #rip tumblr live #i love tumblr #tumblr live #tumblr drama #tumblr community #tumblr live is dumb #tumblr meta #tumblr update #tumblr ceo #turn off tumblr live #writers on tumblr #tumblr girls #photographers on tumblr #recovery #mental health matters #borderlinebelle #meetme

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ofmermaidstories · 3 months

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ok i have been thinking a bit and if i were to outline a season for a x reader focused podcast it would be like:

i put my messy hair up in a bun: intro episode and overall what-is-a-reader-insert-fic, etc etc yap yap yap.

like & reblog: insane tumblr numbers and what it means to have them—or to not. (+ guests)

hornyposting + hot guys: something something specialising in smut one-shots + and what that entails and audience expectations, etc etc. (+ guests)

longfic + soft boys: something something specialising in chaptered fics + what that entails and audience expectations, lmao, etc etc. (+ guests)

#drawthisinyourstyle: fanart in a niche that’s so dependent on self-inserting/not including written physical descriptions. (+ guests)

tiktok (on the clock): niche fandom drama, something something tiktok’s impact on fandom, good or bad, is social media evil and do we need to revert to swapping stapled copies of fics in our kitchens like the OG startrek fans, etc etc. (+ guest)

final episode part 1 (+ guest)

final episode part 2 (+ guest)

i think keeping the season short and sweet would be key to making it fun. the final episodes would be the thesis conclusion lmaooo. the (+ guests) thing is just me daydreaming about who i would beg to chat on it LOL. anyways. 🥹🎧

#i don’t know anything about making a podcast so LOL #this is just me playing in the sandpit

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myz-wykkyd · 3 months

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My DMC oc and my take on Nero's mother/The lady in red. Her name is Julia De Bellona- an accomplished devil hunter and the former Supreme General of the Order of the Sword. Oh boy, this character, this character. Originally created her sometime when I was around 13 or 14 after playing the OG trilogy of games for the first time. She's changed a lot over the years and I honestly don't recall ever having worked this hard to develop a character before in my life LOL I haven't gotten everything written down yet, but I'm really proud of what I have managed to do.

Her wip TH profile can be found here. (Note- BIG WIP)

More Info under the cut. TW: for character death I guess?

NAME: Julia De Bellona

GENDER: Female (She/Her)

AGE: Early Twenties @ TOD | Immortal

SPECIES: Human (Formerly. See picture above.), Artificial Demon (Currently)

AFFILIATION: The Order of the Sword (Formerly) |

OCCUPATION: Holy Knight (Formerly) | Ruler of the Underworld (Currently)

RANK: Supreme General (Formerly) | Queen (Currently)

Prior to the rise of Sanctus, Julia's family, The Bellona, ruled over Fortuna as Feudal Lords- a position entrusted to them by Sparda himself prior to his disappearance. Throughout the generations, their primary goal was to protect humanity from demonic threats- which earned the love of their people and eventually led to the founding of The Order of the Sword; an organization of knights equipped and trained to defeat their evil foes. Julia was born from this long, accomplished line of devil hunters; but her abilities far exceeded those of her ancestors and allowed her to become one of the greatest devil hunters of her age- despite the fact that for most of her life, she was only a mere human.

Compassionate, capable, and determined, Julia rose quickly through the ranks of the Order and was the youngest Supreme General the Order of the Sword had ever seen- but she handled the position with a wisdom that surpassed her years. Under her careful guard, Fortuna was at peace for many years. But shortly after her promotion, she would meet a mysterious stranger who would change her life forever.

Vergil, one of the sons of Sparda, traveled to Fortuna seeking information on the Order and its former ruler in his quest for power. They begin in opposition, but the cold man would eventually win Julia’s heart. Though her compassion and plea to live a life of peace by her side appealed to her lover’s long buried humanity, Vergil chose to cast it and her aside to continue on his journey. Though heartbroken by the loss- she soon discovered that he had left a part of himself with her forever in the form of a child- A son she named Nero.

The following is a rough outline of the rest of her story.

A few months after Nero’s birth, Julia learns of the emergence of the Temen-ni-gru, one of the many gateways to the underworld sealed by Sparda after the war between humans and devils ended. Remembering Vergil’s quest for power, she leaves Fourtuna to stop him herself, but by the time she arrives in the city the events of DMC 3 have already unfolded. Wanting answers, Julia learns from several frightened locals that a white-haired man running a mysterious shop was responsible for ending the threat. Curious and slightly hopeful, she makes her way to the newly named “Devil May Cry” and meets Dante, Vergil’s twin brother, for the first time.

Seeing the identical twin of her former lover is deeply off putting at first, but Dante doesn’t notice. He initially thinks she’s some kind of reporter when she asks for the story of what went on in the tower, and remains uncooperative until Julia successfully manages to bribe him with Pizza. He tells her everything but what she really wants to hear; but from their conversation Julia is able to piece together that the man who was responsible for the catastrophe died within the demon world.

After leaving the shop Julia decides to investigate the ruins of the Temen-ni-gru. While walking amongst the debris, numb with grief, she is surprised to discover the Yamato amongst the wreckage. After pulling it free, she remains there for several hours debating with herself on the wisdom of her next decision, but she eventually gives into temptation and uses the Yamato to travel to the demon world to search for Vergil herself.

Two long, brutal weeks full of fights and close calls with demons pass. Julia searched long and hard, but eventually, after she was unable to find any trace of him, she was finally forced to admit Vergil was really gone. She retreats back into the human world using the Yamato and returns home.

Julia intermittently returns to the demon world to continue searching for Vergil. Almost a year later, she finds him (Or rather, finds Nelo Angelo) held captive and unresponsive. After a brief, but explosive battle with Mundas, Julia escapes with Vergil back to the human world.

This encounter is witnessed by Machiavelli, the creator of Nelo Angelo, who is immediately intrigued that a human would risk her life for a demon.

Uncertain how to awaken him, she seeks out Agnus and asks for his aid in helping Vergil.

A/N: studying Vergil in this timeframe is what gives Angus the inspiration to build the false angels.

Agnus betrays Julia by turning in all his discoveries (her possession of the Yamato, her apparent relationship with a demon) over to Sanctus. Who takes it upon himself to execute the “traitor”. In a cruel twist of fate, he stabs her with Vergil’s own sword. The blade is shattered by a sudden, mysterious surge of power. My personal hc is that just as the sword recognized Nero, the sword recognized Julia, and it shattering was due to it being forced to do something that went against such an important connection.

A/N: Explaining both how the Order manages to get their hands on the sword and why it's broken.

As Julia lays dying, Nelo Angelo/Vergil finally awakens. Recognizing Julia on some level, he does not like what he sees, and slaughters Sanctus’ terrified guards. Forcing the Vicar and Angus to flee for their lives.

With their enemies vanquished, Nelo Angelo/Vergil touches Julia’s face. But in that moment, Julia's thoughts are consumed by worry for Nero. And with her bit a strength, pleads with the Dark Knight to save their son before Sanctus finds him.

He obliged her last wish, taking an infant Nero from Julia’s home to the orphanage where Nero would grow up in.

A/N: Wrapped the crying boy up in his black cape before his departure. Staff of the orphanage would continue to call him Nero as a result.

Sanctus falsely frames Julia as a traitor to the people she had spent her life protecting- and Sanctus orders that all traces of her and her family be erased / never spoken of again. Explaining why she isn’t mentioned in game.

Julia’s body disappears afterwards/is never found by Sanctus. Debating, but my current thought is Nelo Angelo/Vergil took her to Machiavelli, whose spent the last 20+ years reviving her and turning her into the perfect demon. Knowing that she would be a Queen worth following.

A/N: Explaining that Machiavelli isn't dead, he's actually just been working on his Magnum opus this entire time.

After the events of DMC 5, Julia finally awakens and takes over the demon world in the absence of Urizen. She's lost most of her memory from her time as a human and doesn't realize how long it's been- but she recalls she has a son and that's in the human world, in a city called Fortuna, and is determined to find him-

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hannakdraws · 1 year

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Were Marceline and Bubblegum being romantic something that was pretty much agreed upon by you and the crew for years before it was made explicit by the kiss in the series finale? Episodes like Broke His Crown seem to pretty heavily hint at it (like PB turning her head back when Simon asks Marcy if she has a boyfriend, and then smiling when she says no). Or was this not decided until writing Come Along With Me because apparently it wasn't in the outline?

I don't think there was a consensus on exactly what their relationship was. There was no official version other than that they had a past (at least not as far as I was made aware). I believe different crew members had different opinions and ideas, and I don't know what everybody else was thinking. I wasn't part of the writers team for og AT so I can't speak to how the writers discussed it during outlines.

I tried to board true to how I saw them, and make it fit with what I saw others doing with them.

I wrote the kiss in Come Along With Me to be their first kiss in years. New but still familiar and comforting. Like they had been balancing on the edge of getting back together for a long time. But that's my version and doesn't invalidate a different read. Someone else on the team might have pictured them as a full blown couple way before then, or as never having kissed before. I can't speak to that. So if my version doesn't fit with how you see them then don't let it change anything for you. I'm just one person in a team. It's not my show

I hope I made the scene work for other interpretations besides my own!

#I guess my version got more validated with their flashbacks in Obsidian #but I'm totally cool with anyone viewing Distant Lands as a different canon if that's what they want #I think we had enough og people on for it to be the same canon but whatever you need #Adventure Time #bubbline

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joojconverts · 10 months

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4t3 Conversion of HappyLifeSims' Rose's Lunch Dress

A 4t3 conversion of a beautiful 1910's dress for all your ladies! I put blood sweat and tears on this one, so I really hope you like it lol! I took a long time to convert it! Enjoy! <3

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Known Problems:

The lace clips with the skirt when the sim is walking. In other animations it's fine tho!

In darker colors, a beige outline gets visible around the transparent lace parts. I tried fixing it in multiple ways (changing shaders, texture manipulation, and even turning the whole thing into an acc), but nothing worked. Sorry if you wanted to use it in black or something else!

The dress is not compatible with high boots nor gloves. Kinda obvious but wanted to make sure!

If you find any more problems, please let me know!

LIGHTING GLITCHES ONLY APPEAR ON CAS!

* Note that teens and elders have neck gaps. This is sadly the price for having them available! For teens, try using this slider by gruesim!

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ALL OG CREDITS GO TO @happylifesims! IT’S NOT MY MESH, AND IT’S NOT MY TEXTURES, I JUST CONVERTED THEM TO THE SIMS 3!

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NOTES (PLEASE READ):

You'll notice that there are two packages on the download: one is the actual dress, and the other one is an overlay/color mix acc, which you can find on the socks category. It recolors the leafs and the underlayer on the dress, as you can see on the preview. Without it the leafs only have a solid color, so you need to use the acc for it to look good! Both have the same thumbnail!

SimFileShare | Dropbox

☕ buy me a coffee or become a patron!

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Credits:

HappyLifeSims - Original post

💖 @katsujiiccfinds @emilyccfinds @kpccfinds @xto3conversionsfinds

#ts3cc #s3 cc #ts3 cc #4t3 #ts4 to ts3

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another-lost-mc · 1 month

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is it bad that as much as i like your ocs (theyre amazing, i love them!), i really miss seeing you write for the canon characters

You know, that’s valid. The proportion of Canon and OC content here lately has been way off. It’s sort of the elephant in the room I ignore every time I think about Obey Me and my inspiration automatically focuses on the world building or OC potential instead.

There’s a few reasons why I’ve been less interested in writing canon lately.

1. Disappointment with Nightbringer. I’ll be honest, I’m not sure why this game exists (except to overhaul the franchise’s monetization structure). The premise and lore payoff hasn’t been that great for me personally - it feels more like an AU rather than a canon addition/continuation of the OG game. It feels like we still end up with more loose ends and questions that we don’t have (and may never get) answers for. I’m still waiting for Raphael and Mephisto to be dateable, by the way. As a result, my focus when writing OM content has been using the OG story/characterization using the odd piece from NB that makes sense, and that leads into…

2. My favourite parts of Obey Me are under-developed in canon. I enjoy most of the canon cast, I really do. But I want more Celestial Realm lore, I want more Michael (and not NB HM Lesson 20 Michael), I want more angels in general. They’ve mentioned Uriel a couple times now, give me that angel please and thank you! (No longer relevant, I wrote a version of him myself.)

The world feels so empty at times but there’s so much potential. Parts of the Devildom are more fleshed out with NB adding to it, but what about the other realms? What’s going on with the Sorcerer’s Society and the reapers? I never know if the interesting hints of lore we get are truly relevant or if it’s just something the game decided was convenient for a plot point and never gets mentioned again. NB has been great for Solomon fans since it’s practically a Solomon x MC fanfic written with a forced roommates trope, and that might be the best thing about it from a lore perspective.

My OCs were originally meant to explore gaps in the world and give the canon characters room to grow beyond the one or two defining traits the game keeps repeating over and over. I like writing Mammon when I can have him interact with Karasu, I like imagining the types of angels other exchange students might meet in the Celestial Realm, I like giving a name and personality to the mysterious owner of The Fall where so many events and Devilgram stories take place. Admittedly, it was refreshing to see that other people enjoyed reading about them or imagining them paired with their own MCs/OCs too. I call them the OC Fan Club with genuine affection.

3. It’s not something I talk about often but before I began writing fanfiction, I was mostly focused on concepts or outlines for original stories. Writing supernatural and horror themes always been my interest as a writer so anything with demons/angels/other monstrous races automatically catches my eye.

It’s a little mean to say, but half-baked worlds like the Devildom are a lot of fun to use as a foundation for expanding my own ideas. The OC story I’ve been working on is one way for me to write longer and more complex pieces which is the type I like most. Granted, it includes nearly the entire game cast and it explores the Devildom and Celestial Realm in ways that tie together some of my favourite personal headcanons and characterization. It focuses on angel characters and the history/culture of the Celestial Realm which are two of my main interests for this game. It’s a huge project - the outline is nearly 20k words on its own, it’s practically a novel divided into four sections with 30+ chapters and an epilogue. I can’t even express how excited I am when I get to work on this.

That being said, I do like writing canon content and I’ve been missing it more lately. I got burnt out when it felt like I was losing interest in NB and was pushing myself to keep writing anyway which isn’t great.

Today someone left a nice comment on something I wrote a while back, an angst piece for the demon brothers. I haven’t read it in a while and after going back and re-reading it, I was like, “Huh, I don’t remember liking this as much as I do.” And then I remembered something in my drafts that’s been rotting away, half-edited and ignored, and realized that I wanted to finish it. So, I’ve been slowly tinkering with things while I work on my angels’ story. Some of my plans are ambitious and real life distractions (mostly health related, like my recent bout of COVID) haven’t helped.

If I learned anything about my writing since starting this blog, it’s that:

writing what you’re passionate about is more fulfilling than writing what seems trendy or popular

giving and receiving feedback and fostering friendships/supporting each other keeps the community thriving

self care self care self care

Anyway. My goal has always been to write about the things I love about the game world and the things I create that are inspired by it. It’s a delicate balancing act that I’m still working on.

#jes.replies #hilariously bad takes abound #somewhat personal?#also I’ve been working on an oc side blog to try and organize things better #this may or may not get deleted if delayed embarrassment kicks in tomorrow

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accio-victuuri · 7 months

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wang yibo - interview Q&A from “One and Only” creative notes book

Q1: Please briefly introduce yourself and the role you play.

A: Hello everyone, my name is Wang Yibo, and the character I play is called Chen Shuo, "Chen Huole".

Q2: Do you still remember what the situation was like when the director invited you to play this role?

A: The director came to our company to talk about a break-dance-themed movie. Later, the director told me that when he wanted to talk to me, he only had an outline, a story frame. At that time, it was only said that he was a character who liked to dance as a B-boy. Later, the script was sent to me and I read it carefully then we talked in detail.

Q3: What was your first impression of the director?

A: My first impression was that he didn’t talk much and seemed quite introverted. Later I found out that the director is quite delicate.

There is something about him that leaves a particularly deep impression on you. For example, on the second day of the national competition, he did a cartwheel, and then he was during filming, his hair color changed three times. His hair style every day is quite explosive and casual. But when he told me about the movie he was very sincere.

He spoke to me very delicately, and I am very grateful to him

Q4: What was your first feeling after reading the script?

A: I think Chen Huo is a rather distressing character, and the whole story is also very exciting. After all, it is a hip-hop themed movie.

What impressed me was that this is a hip-hop themed movie.

Q5: What kind of person do you think Chen Shuo is?

A: To sum it up in three words: simple, pure, and persistent. He always does everything very simply and he is also very persistent in his passion and organically thrives.

Q6: Do you think playing the role of Chen Shuo this time is similar to your own experience? What did you feel during the process? What's the biggest challenge?

A: I don’t think it’s very similar to my own experience, but my love for dance is similar. The biggest challenge will be in the dance part

There are some, because I am not a professional Breaking class, there are many skills to practice, including different styles of dancing, and then the some other changes. When I encounter this challenge and I can't solve it, I will listen to the director and he will give me a lot of advice.

Q7: What do you think of Chen Huo’s persistence and love for hip-hop?

A: I think there are quite a lot of young people nowadays, children who like hip-hop are like this, including many children in the crew. I feel that they are all very similar to each other, and they are just sweeping the streets to know what is good about the city. I feel that they are all very similar to Chen Shuo's state, and they are almost the same, including mine.

The stand-ins all feel like this. One of the stunt doubles is named Pippi. He especially makes me feel like Chen Shuo. So people like Chen Shuo are not uncommon, but this persistence and love are precious.

Q8: What kind of relationship do you think Ding Lei and Chen Shuo have? As for Huang Bo, are there any similarities between the teacher himself and this character?

A: Ding Lei and Chen Shuo have a master-disciple relationship that helps each other. Teacher Huang Bo said, He was also a hip-hop dancer when he was young, and then Teacher Huang Bo’s aunt was as well. It's very similar to the role of a hip-hop OG (Original) dancer, and he has a similar feeling to himself. For example, before filming the competition, he had been practicing his set of moves. Basically I practice every day, whenever I have time, he will practice with me in the RV then make food. there are shrimp paste, steamed buns, and Qingjun.

Q9: You and Huang Bo collaborated before in "Street Dance of China". Do you think there are any changes in him this time compared to before?

A: Brother Bo is very natural when acting, very much like his usual state. He is also very serious and has high requirements for every shot. Sometimes the director says, After one was passed, he would say that he would record another one. I remember, that day he paid tribute to Wia, I was very impressed by his movements. I felt that he was very happy and worked very hard. and before compared to now, I am more familiar with and admire him more.

Q10: When working with Huang Bo, what was the funniest thing that happened on the set?

A: It’s actually quite funny. Like that dance shooting, there was a move called "Jie Pao", and the plot is that he suddenly sat back because his feet were uncomfortable.

Then we sat on the players' feet and we shouted "throw it backwards" at the same time. I don't know. Why did I shout? It was a bit funny. In the end, everyone laughed when they shouted "throw it backwards".

Q11: Can you share your experience of working with your uncle Yue Yunpeng?

A: I have always liked listening to cross talk, and I also watched Teacher Yue Yunpeng’s. There are so many cross talk collections, and when you see him in person, you feel that he really has a sense of joy and very cute. We also laughed on the set. In one scene, we were talking to my mother. Fortunately, when we have teacher Yue Yunguan to eat together, he looks so awesome when eating duck neck.So cute, I couldn't help but burst out laughing.

Q12: After working with your mother, Teacher Liu Mintao, you feel that Teacher Liu is what kind of person?

A: I think she is very kind, gentle, and very motherly. When I filmed my first scene with teacher Liu Mintao, I just watched my mother sing. That scene in the movie is an important scene, and I have prepared a lot myself, listening to music and preparing my emotions.

But after arriving at the scene and watching my mother’s replay, I had a lot of feelings. That scene was very affecting. I didn’t know that she cried when watching the replay.

I know that she feels quite deeply about the mother-son relationship with Chen Shuo. She cried several times during the filming. She always felt that she could not give up on Chen Shuo. I wanted to create a relatively relaxed dream-chasing environment, and then I felt very guilty.

Q13: Do you think Chen Shuo would mind this matter?

A: I don’t think so. If he realizes it, he won’t be innocent. He simply repays his debts and pursues his dreams without realizing it. However, when he saw his mother singing and working for him, he feels distressed, otherwise I wouldn’t cry.

Q14: Can you share with us what impressed you during the shooting process? How many scenes are there?

A: The first scene impressed me deeply was what i just talked about — watching my mother sing. Then there is the scene of the finals. The finals were filmed for many days and everyone was very excited. It was hard work and many actors were injured. Especially on the penultimate day, all the dancers were together, and then the director also jumped, and the producer also jumped. I danced all the way, it was quite exciting, and it left a very deep memory. I still have it and took a photo with a camera. I had always wanted to try taking a photo, and then I finally caught it that day.

Here comes the chance. Because the director asked Brother Changcheng (photographer) to dance, but he was filming, and then I took over the machine and I was filming while he was dancing.

Q15: I feel that the atmosphere at the scene should be very explosive. What do you think of the electric atmosphere? The film can show what you originally expected to show, the kind of charm of the hip-hop scene?

A: I think it can be presented. I believe in the director and the crew , the staff, and the entire cast.

Q16: This time with Yan Xi, what kind of producer do you think she is?

A: She is a producer who is very good at taking care of everyone, and she is also very down-to-earth. She often cooks food for everyone on site, and Sister Xi is very good at livening up the atmosphere. Very chatty and articulate, she always attracts everyone's attention at the scene.

Q17: There are a lot of clips about stage performances in the movie, which are quite strong. To promote teamwork, Did you and other members of the dance team go through a running-in period at the beginning?

A: Actually no, because I know half of them, Liao Bo, Xiao Hai, George... basically all of us know each other because of the program. Maybe some people don't know each other.

We know each other, but they are quite good after being in contact with each other for a while. I also talk to them privately. We will practice together often, because after all, we are filming Breaking, and I am not very good at this type of dance, you still need to have some reserve, in order to eventually shoot it. I didn’t have any problems during the competition, so I would learn during breaks during filming. Some movements, mainly from Xiao Xi and Lin Lin, I learned more, They would all teach me more B-boy moves.

Q18: In fact, as far as 10 years ago, hip-hop was not particularly popular. How did you come into contact with the culture and fall in love with it?

A: At that time, I was in the hospital getting an injection and saw the dynamic scene of CCTV. I think most people would like it at that time. I like hip-hop because it is cool and handsome. They were probably in their teens at the time. I saw their performance was very cool, and it was also Breaking. In fact, The firs type of dance I also learned is Breaking.

Q19: Where does your love come from? What do you feel when you dance?

A: Dancing will make you happy. Although your body will be tired, you will still be happy. Because dancing itself makes me feel happy, so there is nothing else. The source of the point is that I like it.

Q20: In your philosophy of life, what kind of life do you think is a Passionate life?

A: I don’t think everyone wants their life to be passionate. Some people hope that their lives are ordinary, and choosing a comfortable life is alright. As long as you choose it, it will be a passionate life.

Q21: Is there anything in particular that you would like to thank during the filming of this movie?

A: I would like to thank the entire crew and all the dancers. In fact, during the last filming of the national competition, many dancers were injured. But when they left the national competition, the crew and everyone was still with a smile. Then I would also like to express my special thanks to my stand-in friends.

Breaking, after all, it is a relatively difficult dance type with many skills. It’s not that I can master it in the past few months. I have learned many difficult skills. The stand-ins who came to help me complete and do the work for me, I am very grateful to them. Just like martial arts and gymnastics, because there are specialties in the arts and the dance we practiced have different styles. It takes at least half a year to practice and perform prescribed actions. So when they completed the action for me, I am really grateful.

There was a kid named Pippi, and he kept calling me brother. When I saw him dancing, it reminds me of the feeling of dancing when I was a child. For the feeling of pure love for dance, I am really grateful to my stand-ins,

Without them, there would be no Chen Shuo. Each of us is Chen Shuo. thank you all!

interview scan source

rough translation only. all mistakes are mine.

#wang yibo #one and only movie #chen shuo #accio victuuri translation #I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR A SCAN OF THIS FINALLY

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clockwayswrites · 7 months

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you keep saying you struggle just writing consistently on one of your w.i.p.s, so I was wondering, how many w.i.p.s do you actually have?

I like to be able to jump around! I do that often in a single wip. If I have an idea, I'll jump to that and write it, even if it's many scenes/chapters later. Some days or sessions that means jumping to a different wip.

Part of that is because some days it's just easier or smoother writing romance or banter or action or angst or etc. And why not make my life easier?

Another part of that is because, well, I'm always ill, you know? I've been ill every day for twenty years now. And it gets to be so damn draining (and I've had a worse time of it this year than most). So I try to let myself do what I want in my hobbies.

And then the last part is I like to let writing... ferment(?). It's nice to get to a point and be able to set a piece down and turn it around in the back of your brain until you're sure it's right or know the best next thing or look at it with fresh eyes. Rewrites make my work better and I like to give it that time. But, uh, for an actual list:

Active wips: (aka my primary focuses)

Like Betta Fish Do (long fic, 3-4 chapters left) A Broken Sort of Normal (1 chapter left) City Pigeons Bleed Green (Trauma Tuesday Fic) Series: One Stop Soup Shop (AH SEQUELS I suck at them)

Back burner wips: (aka the things I poke at and deff want to write)

The fic that I'm not writing (main fic I keep on the side) Not Exactly Cinderella (ugh, needs the hook up and an ending) Neon Adjuration (keeps chewing on my brain) Bury the Years (long fic doom) Both Ways at Once (also long fic doom) Catching Cold (need to outline this sucker to keep at it) Salt in the Bones Series (waiting on Moku (no pressure)) Specter of Starlight (pacing thoughts and plans stalled out) Black Smoke Custody (ngl... this maybe should move to hopeful)

Hopeful thoughts: (NOT wips- no real writing yet, but maybe someday)

Tired Dads with issues (Bruce/Dadentine) Gotham Knights talon Park Cosmas the Clone Finding Danny (one of my OG ideas for this fandom) The Bruises Death Leaves (hate this title now) Something Danny/Dick (a few options here)

So lucky 13?

#askme answeryou #reinaluna #well this is mildly depressing LOL #writing process

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random-mailbox · 7 months

Text

Random-Mailbox's Favorite Sailor Moon Fics - College AU

I am back this week with some College AU stories! You can check out the previous 52 weeks of recs at the end of this Crystal Tokyo post (link).

As always, my apologies in advance for spoiling some of these for you (Fic Titles are linked to either FFN or AO3 entries).

Party On Campus - Luvdarain5

A bit of OG anime characterization on aged up Serena and Darien. Amy and Serena get invited to a college party by Zoi, which goes swimmingly until it doesn't.

i send you a sign, send you a signal - @hellomomo

Usagi decides to take a 300-level Emotion and Motivation Psychology class, solely because Mamoru mentioned he would be in it, making her term project on "goals" - getting Mamoru to fall in love with her (and writing a paper about it).

Wish You Would - @idesofnovember

Usagi slipped into a college party for the food, claiming to know the host's roommate TO the host's roommate, launching a sequence of exchanges that will drive Mamoru to seriously consider what he wants.

Better Than Dreaming - @wishwars

Returning a textbook Mamoru left behind at her library table should be quite simple. Except Usagi may have gotten more than she bargained for by going inside after hearing sounds emanating from his dorm room.

Stuff Tippy Wrote -- Sailor Moon edition: Chapter 5: right hand, yellow /Chapter 6: The day after Twister - @tiptoe39

At a college party, Usagi gets pushed into playing Twister by Rei and Minako against the one person who has been poking fun at her (no matter how cute he looks when he actually smiles!).

And we are lucky to get a peek at the day after too! Where Usagi and Mamoru try to figure what happened and what's next.

Summer's Day - Please, more like Moonlight- @midnightdrops

Starting with a disclaimer: this story is amazing BUT it is not complete - Dr @midnightdrops has an outline for the remaining chapters already completed but is currently drowning in work.

In this non-senshi College AU, Mamoru tries to figure out how he is feeling about his polar-opposite girlfriend, while external forces work on ripping them apart.

The Secrets We Bear - Tumblr Snippets - @lilliebellfanfics

This link is to some of the shorts that were published for Dendy Week 2022 (are part of a larger story that @lilliebellfanfics is working on) but are amazing as stand-alone chapters, exploring Mamoru navigating his new powers, university life and priorities.

And last but not least, you should explore @caelenath 's musings in her Mamoru in College tag here on Tumblr - amazing little snippets in there!

That's it for now! I will do another fic list post soon. In the meantime, you should explore some of the prior lists and all the amazing content coming from the @senshixshitennouweeks!

#sailor moon #usagi x mamoru #fic rec #fic list #usamamo #sailor moon fanfiction #college au #mamoru in college

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ladamedusoif · 11 months

Text

Visiting - Chapter 7: Forget Who We Are

(Moodboard by the wonderful @cutesyscreenname)

Pairing: Professor!Ben (College AU) x OFC Lydia/fem!Reader (reader POV/2nd POV)

Summary: Seeking a change of scenery after her life falls apart, Lydia crosses the Atlantic and arrives in a small New England town, to spend a year expanding her intellectual horizons as a visiting professor of art history at a small liberal arts college. Her growing friendship with Ben Morales, professor of Hispanic literature, forces Lydia to confront the fallout from her past - and raises unexpected questions about the future.

Chapter summary: As the semester winds to a close, and Lydia and Ben prepare to go their separate ways for the holidays, it's time to face facts about what happened at Thanksgiving - and indulge in some holiday cheer.

Word Count: 11.4k (it's worth it)

Rating: Explicit (MDNI; 18+) - for real.

Content (chapter specific): Smut; Professor Ben College AU; smaller-than-usual-for-this-fandom age gap (Lydia turns 42, and Ben is 47); canon is not a thing here; slow burn; idiots-to-lovers; fingering; oral sex (F and M receiving); praise kink; tongue-in-cheek size kink; discussions of sexual health and explicit consent; Ben and Lyd are consent masters; safe but technically unprotected PiV sex (talk about it first, people); creampie; strong language; alcohol consumption; weight and body insecurity; references to the holidays; did I mention the smut?; tiny bit of angst for good measure; smutty mcsmutterson.

A/N: The title of this chapter is taken from Father John Misty's song "Real Love Baby", which - to quote @julesonrecord - has become one of the songs for this pair of idiots as they come to terms with what they feel about each other. I listened to this a lot while drafting and writing this chapter.

youtube

I'd also recommend the classic "Fall at Your Feet" by Crowded House as a song with an appropriate vibe for this chapter. (God, I love this song so much.)

youtube

("Who knows where that might lead?" jeez alright Neil Finn hit me in the feels, why don't you?)

I'm so grateful for all the love I've had for this story and for this pair. Every comment and reblog and ask is a little lift to my soul (I mean that!)

And I'm extra pleased to be posting this important chapter this week, given that OG SNL Ben, the character that got into my head and made me think "imagine that man as a college professor of literature", is technically now Emmy-nominated.

They're idiots, the love might be requited, but they still have a long way to go, trust me.

Further A/N after the chapter to avoid spoilers.

See the Series Masterlist for an outline of Lydia's story and background.

Cross-posting to AO3 (got delayed this week because of The Attack!)

Thanks, as ever, to @lunapascal and @julesonrecord for loving Bendie as much as I do, and for being patient sounding boards as I work out how to tell this vital part of their story.

Taglist: @lunapascal, @julesonrecord, @cutesyscreenname, @tessa-quayle, @vermillionwinter, @iamskyereads, @tieronecrush, @perennialdoll247, @love-the-abyss, @imaswellkid, @intheorangebedroom, @javierisms, @fuckyeahdindjarin, @littlemisspascal, @khindahra, @pedrostories, @readingiskeepingmegoing, @ruebyretro, @rhoorl

“So you’re in at what time tomorrow?”

“It’s not tomorrow, mom, it’s the day after tomorrow. Actually, it might be the day after the day after tomorrow with the time difference? Let me check, I’ll confirm later.”

You’re discussing the final arrangements for your flight home for the holidays with your mother by phone, while simultaneously checking over your end-of-semester to-do list.

There’s always a certain giddiness in the air - tempered with panic, as everyone tries to get as much work as possible wrapped up - as the first semester winds to a close for the winter holidays and the student body starts to thin out, and Barrow is no exception. All that’s left on the calendar are two events, happening tomorrow: the Founders’ Luncheon, a formal event considered a vital part of the college’s fundraising activity; and - much more importantly, from a faculty staff perspective - the informal annual staff holiday party, held in the evening.

You zone out a little as your mother starts telling you how busy she is with the preparations for the holidays. Looking through the glass panel in your door, you see a familiar figure standing further down the hallway, glasses dangling from his mouth as he opens his office door while juggling a stack of books.

A little smile creeps across your face, but there’s an ache in your chest: yearning tempered with uncertainty. You haven’t actually seen Ben in person since Thanksgiving. He’d been away at a big comparative literature conference in the south, and by the time he’d got back you were leaving for New York, where you were speaking at a week-long conference on eighteenth-century art.

You’d been in touch, though. While you were both away, you kept up the constant back-and-forth of messages that you’d grown used to over the last couple of months, a steady stream of jokes and gifs and selfies and commentary on everything: from the books you were reading to the shows you were watching, to the most mundane, everyday experiences.

Well, almost everything. In all of those exchanges, neither of you had ever brought up Thanksgiving, or the accidental, sort-of “kiss” that had haunted your dreams and fantasies over the last couple of weeks.

Ben turns just as he’s about to go into his office. He smiles, raises a hand, and gives you a little wave

“Hey there, stranger.”

He’s there at your door, a mug of coffee in each hand, as usual, and a soft, if nervous, smile on his face.

“Hey stranger, yourself.” You take your coffee gratefully and sit back in your desk chair. “Why does it feel like I haven’t seen you in forever?”

Ben shrugs and leans against the doorframe. “Conferences, travel - and I guess it feels longer because we’ve seen each other pretty much every workday, right?” He takes a substantial sip from his mug, and looks at you. “I can’t stay, I’ve got a supervision meeting, but, um, how have you been? How was the conference?”

You throw your head back and flail your hands excitedly. “Oh my god, it was amazing! Full disclosure - I might have skipped the occasional session because I was in New fucking York. But it was so worth it. And the paper seemed to go well, so - all good. How was yours?”

He exhales and shakes his head, rolling his eyes for comic effect. “The paper was a rushed job, I was basically in a hotel in Louisiana for four days, my daily treat was a trip to the CVS across the road, as you know - but yeah, the discussions were good, the work was interesting…” He raises an eyebrow and smiles mischievously. “Still - clearly I should have become an art historian purely for the conference locations.”

Neither of you seems willing - or able - to bring up the elephant in the room. Perhaps you just didn’t need to talk about it. You’d both seemed surprised by the “kiss”. You both seemed to understand it as unintentional. Maybe further discussion was unnecessary.

You reach into your desk drawer to retrieve a pack of luridly-frosted holiday cookies. “Hey, take a couple of these for that meeting. You need the extra sugar and artificial ingredients to get you to the end of the semester.”

Ben’s face lights up. He walks over to the desk and takes two of the cookies, holding them in his big palm carefully. “Damn right I do.” He looks down at you, and you feel the smile spreading across your face at the sight of those eyes at close quarters.

You take a deep breath. “Ben, I -”

A knock at your office door, still ajar. To your surprise, it’s David.

“Hi Lyd, hi Ben - I’m not interrupting, am I?”

“Not at all,” Ben reassures him. “I was just leaving.” He turns back to face you before he leaves the office. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Lyddie, at the luncheon?”

You nod. “And the holiday party. For god’s sake, don’t forget about the party or Susan might kill you.”

He grins, pats David on the shoulder, and wanders down the hall to his office. David closes your office door and sits in the chair in front of your desk.

You extend the pack of cookies towards him. “Help yourself and try not to think about the amount of edible glitter involved. So, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

David gingerly picks up a cookie shaped like a snowman. “I’ve been up with Evan this week, and realised I wouldn’t see you before you go home,” he explains, nibbling a little of his cookie. “I wanted to call by and wish you safe travels and happy holidays.”

Before you can start to return the sentiment he puts up a hand, gently.

“There is something else. Lydia, can I say something to you? Between us. It will never leave this room.”

You shift in your chair. “Sure, of course - oh shit. Is… is Evan okay?”

David smiles and nods, reassuring you. “He’s fine. It’s not about Evan, actually. It’s about you.”

You feel your eyebrows shoot upwards.

“Well, really… it’s about you. And Ben.”

Oh, fuck. Fuck.

You get a sudden, strong memory of David in the cab on the night of your birthday drinks, looking at you intently as Evan confirmed that Ben was single, contrary to Amy’s rumour mongering.

What did he know?

“Oh, okay. Okay.”

“I don’t know how else to put this, Lyd, but I think that man - I think Ben has feelings for you. Strong feelings.”

You feel your face heat and your mouth start to dry up. There might even be tears pricking your eyes. You try as best you can to control your breathing.

“David, no. I don’t think so. He’s never done anything to suggest otherwise, and he’s had the chance, so -”

David tilts his head to one side, his eyes kind and serious.

“Lydia, I’m a theatre scholar. I study bodies and expressions for a living. I know what’s real, and I know what’s performed. And I’ve seen you two together enough, and heard each of you talk about the other enough times, to know that he has real feelings for you.” He looks at you intently. “And… to be fairly certain that you have feelings for Ben, too.”

The pricking sensation has turned to real tears, rolling heavy and slow down your cheeks.

“Please, please don’t tell Evan.”

David crosses to your side of the desk and wraps an arm around you. “It’s okay, sweetheart, it’s okay.” He hugs you as you protest that Ben just wants to be your friend, that he couldn’t possibly want someone like you, and then pulls away, looking at you face on.

“All that might be true. Maybe. But…just see. See what happens if you let the light in, just a little. You might be surprised.”

Before you leave work that evening, you pop into the main faculty office, a small, festively-wrapped parcel in your hands. Susan barely notices you pass, wrapped up in counting glasses and bottles of wine for the party the next day.

You scan the rows of cubbyholes, each one labelled in alphabetical order for a staff member, until you find it:

B.E. Morales

You place the little parcel on top of a couple of academic publisher catalogues, addressed to Ben.

A couple of rows above his, you notice something in your own mailbox: a gift box with a Post-It on top.

Another explanatory Post-It, you think, placing the box in a tote bag.

A very small Christmas gift, if you have room in your suitcase. - B.

You bring it home and place it carefully in your hand luggage.

Your invite to the Founders’ Luncheon had arrived just before Thanksgiving: a small, gold-edged cream-coloured card with the event details printed on it in elegant black lettering.

“Does everyone attend this?” you’d asked Susan, studying the invite carefully.

She shook her head. “A select few. We usually nominate the visiting professor to attend, though - so be prepared to smile and gladhand anyone who looks like they might be willing to donate to support the diversity and inclusion project. Or maybe even a new wing for the library, if you’re extra convincing.”

You hummed thoughtfully, wondering what you could dredge up from your wardrobe that would be formal enough for the luncheon and still be appropriately festive for the party later the same day.

“You’ll have at least one familiar face there, though,” Susan added, stacking a pile of freshly-copied course materials. “Ben’s been asked to deliver the address that kicks off proceedings - trying to get philanthropic support for the diversity stuff he’s been working on. He’s nervous as all hell about it - you can imagine - but I think he’ll be pleased to know he has you there for moral support.”

In the end, you’d plumped for a crimson vintage-style swing dress with three-quarter length sleeves and a cross-over neckline: demure enough to wear to the lunch and look like a Serious Intellectual, but ready to be dressed up with some well-chosen holiday accessories for the party later.

Though Ani insisted it was nothing fancy, everyone seemed extremely excited for the holiday shindig: a gathering of colleagues in one of the bigger teaching rooms in the building, fuelled by eggnog, wine, and party food. You had already heard in detail about Evan’s carefully-curated playlists. It seemed like the perfect way to blow off a little steam after a busy semester.

The party was due to start about 5pm, but first there was a formal lunch to contend with. All morning, you’d been silently repeating ‘elevator pitches’ about your work, the importance of the progress already made in diversity and inclusion, and the resources the college needed to continue it. Visitor or not, you were ready to do your best with the wealthy donors who might write a fat cheque - and get a tax break in return.

You’re running over the list of talking points in your head as you meander down the corridor on your way to your office, about an hour before the luncheon is due to begin.

“Motherfucker!”

The loud swearing stops you in your tracks. His door is ajar. You knock lightly.

“Come in.” Ben turns, sounding frustrated, but brightens and visibly relaxes when he realises it’s you.

“Oh, hi Lyd! Sorry, I’m just…” He stops and runs his eyes over you from top to toe. “Wow, you look…great.”

You can feel your face burning, and try to deflect from his words. “So do you. I mean… you’re all fancy.”

He’s dressed more formally than you’ve ever seen before. A white button-down shirt, slim navy dress pants, black lace-up Oxfords. The collar of his shirt is turned up, and he’s holding the source of his irritation: a dark green tie.

Oh, fuck me. He looks so good.

He exhales sadly. “I can do this without a mirror - usually. But it’s like I can’t remember how to do it today, and I think I’m losing it.”

“Might also be because you’re thinking about the speech, no?”

He sighs and looks a little sheepish. “You know me too well, Lyddie.”

You feel heat spread at the nape of your neck. Pull yourself together.

“Can I help at all? With the tie? I could act as your mirror, or help to get it right…”

His eyes light up and he drapes the tie around his neck again. “Oh, please? I need to run through the address one more time and I’m already late. Here: it’s probably quicker if you just do it for me at this stage.”

Oh. Oh, no.

Your instinctive need to help had overridden whether or not you could actually cope with this: physical proximity, first of all, but then having to tie Ben’s tie? With all the intimate domesticity it implied? It could end you there and then.

You take a deep breath and move a little closer, taking each end of the tie in your hands.

“I can literally do one knot, so I hope this is what you’re after,” you say, and he laughs lightly. You begin to knot his tie, muscle memory kicking in from your school days, when a tie was part of your convent school uniform. By necessity, you’ve had to edge closer still to him, and you can feel his dark eyes burning into you as he watches your fingers work.

David’s words from the day before continue to run through your brain on a permanent loop.

Let the light in, just a little.

You look at Ben through your lashes, mouth drying and a telltale throb fluttering through your core.

“Hope I’ve done this right. I’ll just adjust it and then I can take a picture so you can check.” You tighten the knot slightly and work it up towards the hollow of his neck, eyes trailing up to meet his gaze.

Let the light in.

You bring your hands up to fold down his collar and, almost without thinking, graze your fingertips off the grey patches that you love so much, just at the corners of his jaw.

Ben closes his eyes for a moment, and you can see his breathing speeding up slightly. He swallows hard.

“I meant it.”

You fold down the collar and adjust the knot, praying that your heart will stop beating quite so quickly and that the ache between your legs will dissipate. Still, you don’t stop touching him, bringing your right hand to rest lightly on his chest, just over his heart.

“Meant what?”

He opens his eyes and looks at you. “I meant it. On Thanksgiving. I…meant to kiss you.”

Your eyes widen and your features soften in understanding. “Ohhhh.”

He brings one hand up and places it over yours. “I know you didn’t mean it, you went in for a kiss on the cheek and - I’m sorry, I just have to tell you, Lyd. I… I wanted to. And I should have kept kissing you, the way I wanted to.”

With his free hand, he strokes your cheek with his long fingers, the warm span of his palm carefully cupping your jaw as if you’re the most delicate thing in the world.

You smile shyly, reciprocating his gesture as you stroke your thumb along the scruff on his jaw. “I was going in for a kiss on the cheek…but I meant it, too. I wish I’d been braver that night.” You giggle. “And yes, you should definitely have kept kissing me.”

For an instant you remember the defences you’ve built up around yourself: around your heart and your soul. They were a protection and a comfort, a suit of armour deflecting even the slightest possibility of future pain and loss. You cannot be hurt or disappointed if you never expect anything. Never let anyone in.

But even the best armour is not completely impenetrable. The first weakness was exposed the day you realised what you actually felt for this man, even if you could barely admit it to yourself.

Smiling softly, Ben drops his arm to your waist to pull you close to him, continuing to caress your cheek with his free hand. “You…you’re so beautiful. I…”

His tongue darts fleetingly across his lips, as if he’s looking at a delicious morsel, and it’s enough to make you almost feral with sheer desire.

He angles his head slightly, gently nudging at your nose with his. His soft, pink lips meet yours, slightly open, in a warm, perfect kiss.

With a light moan, your tongue immediately seeks entrance to his mouth. He tastes of peppermint and coffee, of sweetness and bitterness all at once. You reach for his tie, not breaking the kiss, and gently tug him along with you as you walk backwards towards the wall of his office until he’s almost pressing you into it.

As he kisses you ever more deeply, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you in, tight as he can to his body, slowly moving his hands over your back and hips, and trailing his fingertips across your ass. In return, you run your hands through his hair and stroke your fingers down one side of his neck, eliciting a groan from him, before breaking away to wrap your arms around the broad span of his back.

You have felt his warm body before, when you’d hugged, but this was something else entirely. No need to worry about whether you’d lingered a little too long in his arms. No need to suppress the desires that had haunted and tormented you. Now it was time to express them.

Ben breaks off the kiss momentarily, pausing to look at you with those intelligent, sensitive, coffee-brown eyes. A wide grin spreads across his handsome face. You feel his cock pressing, half-hard, against you in his dress pants. The sensation sends another wave of wetness to your centre.

“What are you smiling at, Professor?”

“You. Beautiful, gorgeous you.”

It’s all you can do to stop the happy tears from falling. Instead, you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and pull him in for a deep kiss, hungrily tasting each other. He breaks away and moves his mouth to your neck, pulling a moan of desire from you that’s probably louder than was wise in a workplace.

He’s working his way down to your collarbone when your eyes snap open and you freeze. Ben looks at you with concern.

“Are you okay? Is this too much? We can stop. We can slow down. Whatever you…”

You shake your head frantically. “I wish we didn’t have to stop but, Ben: the fucking luncheon!”

His eyes widen in panic. “Oh, FUCK! FUUUUUCK! What time is it? Fuck fuck fuck -”

You look at your phone and try to calm him down. “You’re fine, you’ve got like twenty minutes before it starts. Hey,” you reach for his hand, “remember the message of Hitchhiker’s Guide? Don’t Panic. And maybe relax a bit, so you’re not… visible. Ahem.”

He raises an eyebrow and laughs. His breathing slows a little, and he squeezes your hand gratefully before planting a final, chaste kiss to your lips. “I’ll see you over there. Might be a bit late for the holiday party, depending on how many people they want me to meet after, but we can, uh, pick up where we left off?”

He looks so sweet and so painfully shy that you almost can’t believe this is the same man who was pushing you into a wall and kissing you like his life depended on it only a few minutes before.

You lean in for just one more kiss. “Abso-fucking-lutely we can.”

His address to the luncheon is, unsurprisingly, brilliant. Erudite, warm, funny: infused with the passion you saw him bring to his work and to his subject every day. He is so talented: he wears his learning lightly, his natural charm working to hook the audience in and hang on his every word.

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that he looks so gorgeous up there at the podium: smart suit, curls neater than usual (you suspect he’d run some wax through his hair after you left him), and that tie.

That fucking tie. You can’t even look at it, because it immediately sends your brain right back to the feeling of tugging it to pull him against you, to the taste of him, to the way his big hands roved over you, gentle but needy, to the way his body revealed just how turned on he’d become by kissing and touching you.

Fuck. You try to ignore the ache between your legs, choosing to focus instead on the handsome man at the podium.

You listen attentively to Ben making a powerful case to the large hall full of wealthy donors for the importance of making arts and humanities education accessible. The room fills with applause as he brings his address to a close, and you clap as loud as you can, looking at him with a broad smile on your face. As he walks across the stage, he turns and spots you.

“Was it okay?” He mouths the words towards you.

You nod enthusiastically, and give a subtle thumbs up. He does a tiny air punch, and grins at you as he disappears off stage.

“I’ve switched up the playlists - no one really wants more than an hour of festive hits, even if it’s curated by me. Vegan no-pig in blanket?”

Evan proffers a tray of party snacks, having come over to join you near the tables set up with drinks and food. The music has become much more eclectic: fewer holiday hits, many more danceable, extremely cool, crowd pleasers. A few people are even starting to clear space in the centre of the room as a makeshift dancefloor.

“Where’s Benjamin?” Evan asks as you chew on a no-pig in blanket. “You’re normally joined at the hip.”

You try not to choke on the pastry, grabbing a glass of red wine to wash down the food. “He was doing the address at the founders’ thing, remember? I think they wanted him to stay around afterwards to meet possible donors. It’s all about the diversity and inclusion programme.”

Evan nods, satisfied. “I’m not keeping any food for him, though.”

The strains of “You Keep Me Hangin’ On” are abruptly cut off as Jen Arden taps on her wine glass. “Head of department holiday speech time! Don’t worry, I won’t keep you from your partying too long - I want to see everyone out on that floor!”

Her words are succinct but heartfelt, thanking everyone for the hard work that had made the semester successful and noting your arrival and integration into the Barrow community. You blush slightly as the eyes of the room turn in your direction.

“And as some of you know, Ben Morales delivered the address at the annual Founders Luncheon today - an important part of fundraising for the inclusion programme he’s been spearheading.” Jen looks around the room, seeking out her friend, eyes resting on the doorway as Ben finally arrives. “And here he is now!”

Ben shyly acknowledges the applause in the room, making a beeline for the food and drink. Pure coincidence, of course, that you happened to be standing over there, too. He stands behind you and greets Evan.

“Well, did you secure the megabucks? Are there hessian sacks printed with dollar signs currently filling your office?”

Ben huffs a laugh. “We have to wait and see, I guess. They seemed nice. Weird, though, talking to people you know are multi-millionaires. Billionaires, even. You keep thinking, ‘why do you need all that money?’”

He shakes his head and reaches for a glass of red wine. As he does so, he trails his hand along your lower back, fingertips grazing the top of your ass. For an instant you wonder if it was an accident, until you feel the palm of his hand pressing lightly but deliberately into the small of your back.

Evan is talking at length about the snack selection at this year’s party and is clearly oblivious to Ben’s shenanigans and the heat rising in your face as you struggle to maintain your composure. Glass of wine obtained, Ben continues the conversation with Evan, studiously avoiding your attempts to catch his eye.

He’d been explaining his holiday plans - Ben is going west, trying to make up for some of the time lost when he cancelled his trip at Thanksgiving, and is really excited about it - when Evan spots an incoming call on his phone. “Oh shit, it’s my mom. I better go talk to her - sorry guys!”

He exits the room, already talking loudly to his mother about her holiday menu plans.

As soon as you’re both alone, you swivel to face Ben head-on.

“Um, excuse me?”

He smirks. “Excuse you?”

“Benjamin Ernesto Morales. You know what I’m talking about. You’re lucky I didn’t spontaneously combust in front of Evan.”

He chuckles. “Ah, that was just a friendly hand placement. Nothing more to it.” He arches an eyebrow, and once again you can feel desire - no, need - rushing through you. The urge to kiss him here, in front of everyone, without a thought for the (possible) consequences, is overwhelming.

“You, sir, are a menace. Why didn’t I know about this before?”

He does that half-smile that makes you melt, and shrugs his shoulders. “Hey, on another topic - where’s Ani?”

“They messaged me this morning. In bed with a migraine, poor thing. I think these things wait until the end of the semester, just when you’re about to relax, and then bam.”

He makes a sympathetic face and nibbles on a cookie. “So it’s just us, then?” His gaze is both gentle and flirtatious.

“Us, and the rest of the faculty.” You gesture around the room, giving him a look that says “no funny business”.

He gently moves his hand along the edge of the table until it’s within touching distance of yours, and gently runs his fingertips along the back of your hand. You reciprocate by stroking the side of his hand with the pad of your thumb.

It’s so stupidly chaste, like something from a Georgette Heyer novel about maidens and gentlemen in Georgian England, and yet it’s one of the sweetest, most intimate things you’ve experienced in a very long time.

Ben’s eyes widen as the music changes and the unmistakable opening bars of “Edge of Seventeen” begin. “Oh, Lyd!” He outright grabs your hand now. “Let’s dance, come on.”

He looks perplexed when you don’t move. You beckon him closer with a tilt of your head, and whisper into his ear, feeling your cheeks heating.

“I can think of something better than dancing, but we might need to be somewhere more, um, private.”

His expression shifts as understanding sets in. “Oh. Ohhh.” He grins, looking you up and down. “Yours or mine?”

Praise be to Stevie Nicks. “Edge of Seventeen” got so many colleagues out on the ‘dancefloor’ that the two of you were able to slip away completely unnoticed.

You unlock the door of your office and switch on your desk lamp before pulling down the blind over the glass panel. The soft light illuminates his handsome features as you turn back to face him: the strong line of his profile; the softness of his mouth, lips slightly parted; the glint in his warm eyes. He’s taken off his suit jacket, and with a smile you suddenly recall the first time you noticed how beautifully broad he was, standing in the kitchen at Evan’s Halloween party.

“Hi, Ben.”

“Hi, Lyddie.”

You’re standing close now, face to face. You walk your fingers up towards the knot of his tie, looking at him through your lashes, and tug it so that he’s right up against you, beautiful dark eyes taking you in. He leans in with a smile and kisses you slowly and deeply, the bristling sensation of his moustache and beard against your lips and face going straight to your core.

The pace was never going to stay slow. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls you tight to his body, moving his hands over your hips and ass and pulling little gasps and moans from you. The mints and coffee of earlier are replaced by the taste of red wine and sugar cookies on his lips and tongue.

You start to run your hands through his hair, stroking your fingers down the side of his beautiful neck, loosening the knot of his tie, and opening the top buttons on his shirt to create a little more space for you. He inhales sharply when you break away from the kiss to gently lick and nibble at his neck and collarbone. You can feel him hardening against you, again.

He pulls away slightly, keeping his hands around your waist. For the first time in your life, you actually understand what romance novelists mean when they describe a character as having ‘lust-blown eyes’. Ben’s coffee-brown eyes are near black, pupils dilated and lids heavy, conveying a potent mixture of sweet affection and utter desire. He lifts his hand to stroke your cheek gently, dragging his thumb across your bottom lip, before gently moving you towards the edge of your desk.

He’s nervous. He moves some of the piles of your papers and books out of the way, careful not to disrupt the chaotic ‘order’ you maintain, so you have more room to sit on the desk. As you sit on the edge, you notice his hands are trembling a little. You feel a bit better about the quivering sensation that’s been running through you since you entered the office together, a mixture of desire and nerves.

You hitch up the skirt of your dress a little, opening your legs and creating more room for him as he stands between them, resting his forehead against yours.

“You okay, Ben?”

He looks at you in surprise. “I’m great, Lyd, I’m just…it’s…I’m really glad.”

You feel a surge of affection in your chest. “So am I. And I’m glad for this tie.” You use it to pull him close to your body again, kissing him hungrily. He leans against you, hands on your waist and back.

“Is this okay? Can I…touch you, Lydia?”

Something about the way he says your name, softly but purposefully, sends you utterly wild.

“You know you can, Ben. I’m all yours,” you whisper, edging closer and slowly moving a hand down his broad torso, strong and soft at the same time. You reach his waistband and keep going, brushing your hand lightly over the bulge straining against his dress pants as you maintain eye contact. “I want you.”

He closes his eyes, letting out a soft moan, before bringing his hands - those beautiful, big hands - up to softly caress your breasts as he moves his mouth to your neck, planting gentle kisses and sucking the skin ever so gently.

It’s miraculous that you don’t come undone there and then, tipped over the edge by the feeling of his hands on your breasts, his mouth working the sensitive skin at the base of your neck, and his cock growing ever-harder underneath the light massage offered by your palm. Your fingers work at the buttons and zipper of his pants, desperately trying to get access to his hard length.

He’s pulled up your dress, running his hands up your thighs and towards the warm, wet apex of your legs. He lets out a sigh of pleasure as he traces his long fingers from the top of your stockings to the bare skin of your upper thigh, leaning back to look at your body with a sort of delighted rapture. You silently congratulate yourself for choosing to wear hold-ups instead of regular pantyhose under your dress.

Even in this moment, part of your brain starts to worry about the state of your body and its many flaws, wondering what he is going to think about the you that’s under the scarlet fabric. That said, he seems to be keen so far. He grabs handfuls of the soft flesh on your thighs and hips, grunting with pleasure into your mouth. He feels insatiable already, one hand still caressing your tits as the other slips right between your legs and starts to rub at the soaking crotch of your panties. You’re trying to keep it together, moaning as you move your fingers against the waistband of his boxer briefs, ready to take him in your hand and attend to his pleasure.

Suddenly, the lights in the corridor come on. Laughter and loud chatting from a group of colleagues fills the air. Both you and Ben freeze, breaking off the kiss while your hands stay put.

“Shit… do you think they heard us?” you hiss, unsure what the rules are around this kind of thing at Barrow.

He turns to look at the door of the office, trying to see how close the group was.

“I don’t think so. I don’t think we were that loud, were we?”

You smirk and raise an eyebrow.

“We weren’t, but we were just getting going…”

He rests his forehead on your shoulder and laughs before looking at you again, withdrawing his hands and straightening your dress.

“Shall we get out of here? I can call a cab…”, he offers as you nod in agreement. He quickly does up his fly before grabbing his phone from his jacket pocket and pulling up the relevant app. “This is going to sound so cheesy, but - your place or mine?”

You giggle. “My apartment looks like a packing monster threw up in it, so, if you’re okay with yours…”

He smiles and nods enthusiastically, tapping in the details. “Five minutes. They’ll be at the main entrance.”

“Five minutes, so that’s two minutes to get to the door - and three minutes for another kiss?”

He chuckles deeply and pulls you in again.

Ben fastens his seatbelt in the back of the cab, looking at you expectantly. The street lights have him half in shadow, half in light, and you have to focus for a moment to answer.

Fuck, he’s so sexy.

The little voice deep inside you still whispers about how someone as fucking hot as him surely couldn’t want someone like you. But you manage to hush it, focusing on Ben’s beautiful face.

The cab journey is short - no more than five minutes along the quiet streets - but feels like an eternity. You’ve spent the entire ride making out in the back seat, like horny students rather than two forty-something academics. Pulling up at his house, you and Ben try to retain at least a little decorum as you hustle to the front door.

“I hope you gave that guy a good tip,” you joke as Ben fumbles for his keys, one hand resting on your ass.

He grins. “The tip was three times the cost of the ride. Think that should cover him for enduring our, uh, shenanigans?”

The front door opens and the two of you step inside. You pause for a moment to take each other in, you trailing your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck while his thumb caresses your cheek. Your lips meet again as you peel off each other’s coats and fall back against the wall in his hallway, your hands fumbling to undo his pants again while he dips his long fingers, finally, into the wet heat between your legs.

“Oh, fuck!” It feels like you’ve been waiting for him all your life. And, judging by the noises he’s making, the feeling seems to be reciprocated.

“God, Lydia, baby, I can’t believe you’re this wet for me already,” he purrs, sounding genuinely surprised and stroking the inside of your cunt firmly while his thumb works your clit. “You feel so fucking good.”

Ben resumes his work on your neck, moving more urgently now than he had in your office. His moustache and beard brushes against the sensitive skin of your neck and shoulders and makes you wetter still as he continues to massage your clit, occasionally slipping a finger into your pussy. You moan deeply, feeling yourself tightening around his finger as you get ever closer.

“Fuck, I want you,” he whispers in your ear. “I really want you, Lyddie. I need you. You know?”

You whine with pleasure, one hand inside his briefs palming his cock as he works you to the edge. You can feel the orgasm about to burst deep inside, focused on the sound and sensation of his fingers - Ben’s big, strong fingers - sliding in and out of you.

He doesn’t stop, but he sounds a little more vulnerable. “Is that okay? I hope that’s okay,” he continues, and you feel like you’re about to black out.

“I…fuck…that’s more than okay, that’s - Jesus, I want that. And I want you, I need you, to have you, I want you…fuck, Ben! I think I’m going to fucking come, I…”

He looks down to where his hand is working you towards your climax. “That’s it, good girl. You’re so close. Come for me, beautiful girl.”

Good girl. Beautiful girl. Praise kink: activated.

Somehow he manages to look sexy as hell and sweetly shy as he brings you to the edge, eyes warm and dark. “I can’t believe I’m finally getting to make you come, I…I’ve wanted to, so badly.”

You come with a gasp, cunt throbbing and tightening around his fingers. It has been a long time since you’ve come this hard. Your eyes shoot open, looking directly into his.

He strokes the side of your face with his other hand as he takes you through the aftershocks. Your wetness soaks his fingers as you kiss him, trying to express your gratitude for what he’s made you feel, leaning against the wall of his hallway.

You break away, able to concentrate more effectively on the way his cock is now fully hard under your hand. “Fuck, baby, that was… holy shit. It’s, uh… it’s been a while.”

He blushes and kisses your forehead. “Can I take you to bed, Lyddie?”

You grin and start to giggle. He looks confused. “What? You don’t want to?”

How can you explain the myriad feelings racing through you in this moment? Excited. Nervous. Happy. Horny.

“I do, Ben. You know I do. I’m just, I dunno, I’m - I’m happy. And I really, really want you.”

He gives you a flash of that sexy fucking smile as he withdraws his hand from your panties and gently moves yours from his cock.

“Come on.”

Taking your hand, he leads you up the stairs.

You notice almost nothing about Ben’s bedroom as the two of you enter, besides the side lamp he quickly flicks on and the pile of books he moves off the bed before turning his attention back to you. Lips locked, you focus on unbuttoning his shirt while he tries to get your dress off.

In an instant you are standing before him in black and red bra, black (sensible) high-waisted panties, and hold-ups, his shirt, tie, and pants already discarded.

His eyes widen as he takes you in, gaze lingering over the black lace and red satin of your bra. “Wow. Holy shit.”

Instinctively, you move a step backwards and wrap your arms over your body protectively. You are suddenly overwhelmed by all that is wrong with your body: its size, its awkwardness, the stretch marks from weight lost and (more commonly) gained, marks and scars, a belly that is far too squishy and soft, in your opinion, hips that are too wide, breasts made heavier and less, well, perky with age. And that’s before you get on to your perennially crunchy knees.

You feel every one of your forty-two years, and then some. The fact of his utter gorgeousness leads you to only one conclusion.

God, he’s probably only ever fucked hotter people than me. I can’t compare, surely?

You feel exposed. The defences - physical, sure, but emotional, too - have been irretrievably breached, and the fear of rejection scares the shit out of you.

The sight of Ben Morales before you, wearing just his boxer briefs (and, you notice for the first time, a pair of candy cane-patterned socks), makes you even more anxious about how you must look to him. He is a gorgeous vision, easily the most beautiful man you’ve ever even seen, let alone gone to bed with: lightly golden skin, strong arms and legs, broad shoulders, and a soft tummy that is as adorable and sexy as you’d imagined.

And best of all, that beautiful, kind face, now looking at you with real concern.

“Are… are you okay? Lyddie? Are you alright? We can stop, we don’t have to -“

You shake your head and bring your eyes up to meet his.

“I really don’t want to stop, Ben. I mean it, I want you…I need you in every way. It’s just… I mean, this,” and you gesture loosely to your body. “Like, I’ve had sex since my last relationship but it wasn’t like this, it wasn’t…this. It wasn’t…it didn’t mean…”

He reaches his hands towards you to bring you in for a hug. You take a deep breath as you try to explain properly.

“I haven’t been naked with someone like you…someone I actually care about in a long time. And I’m scared that you won’t like what you see, because you look so good and hot and so beautiful. You’re just so beautiful, Ben. And I…I’m not…”

He holds you closer and places a gentle kiss on your forehead. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you,” he whispers. “I wish you could understand what it feels like to have looked at you, to have thought for so long about what it would be like to hold you, to kiss you, and now to finally touch you.” He’s blushing.

“Kinda wish I could see myself the way you seem to see me, too. Don’t think I’ve ever been called ‘beautiful’ before. Before…you.”

He is still holding you, warm and gentle against his broad chest. You are suffused with a feeling of absolute safety.

“I mean it, Lyd. If you don’t want to go any further we don’t have to.”

You pull back, bringing your arms to your sides and resisting the urge to hide yourself from his gaze. You look him in the eyes and shake your head with a soft smile.

“I know. We’re keeping going. I want this, too.”

He kisses you and reaches around to undo your bra, struggling against the hooks.

You reach behind you, keeping your eyes on him, and deftly undo the bra. His mouth moves immediately to your breasts, tongue circling first one nipple and then the other before pulling back to admire you, chest rising and falling and eyes widening as he looks at you.

Has anyone ever looked at you like that before? Like you are the most perfect creature to ever exist?

Mind you, you’re looking at him in much the same way.

“You are so fucking beautiful, Lyd. You are. Let me show you how gorgeous you are.”

You smile shyly, still a little conscious of your body, and sit back on the side of the bed.

Oh, shit. The sensible part of your brain butts in, abruptly.

You need to talk about this now, not in the moment.

“Uh, Ben? Before you do that, can we maybe talk about, um, health and that?”

He looks confused. “Health? I had a cold in October but - oh. Yes. Yes. I get you.”

He scrabbles around for his pants.

“What are you doing, Ben?”

“Getting my phone to show you my last screening results. We have the tests as an option on annual physicals and I had mine in August.” He locates his phone and looks at you fondly. “Just before you came over, as it happens.”

You bury your face in his shoulder, giggling affectionately. “Ben, love, I trust you. Just tell me, I don’t need to see them.”

He kisses the top of your head. “All good. And you?”

You nod, still feeling deeply awkward but relieved. “Also all good. Last test just before I came over. Funny, that. I’ve got a contraceptive implant thingy, as well.” You point out the little plastic device just under the skin of your upper arm. “And I haven’t been with anyone since, obviously.”

“Me neither.” He grins and whispers in your ear. “I did have a crush on someone in work, though.”

You smile and run a hand over the salt-and-pepper scruff along one side of his face. “A crush, huh? So you were waiting for them?”

He nods and kisses you softly as he gently encourages you to lie back on his bed, before swiftly discarding the candy cane socks and joining you in bed.

For a couple of moments you just lie there together, hands trailing across each other’s bodies. You look at his handsome face, and the realisation that you’re actually going to sleep with him dawns. It triggers an unfortunate, involuntary surge of giggles.

“Why are you laughing?” He’s running his hand along the curve of your hip, fingers tugging at the waistband of your panties.

“I’m not laughing, it’s just…” You start giggling again and hide your face against his broad shoulder.

“Okay, that’s definitely laughing. What did I do?”

You look at him and feel the affection and desire catch in your throat. “You didn’t do anything, baby, I’m sorry. It’s just - we’re basically naked and in bed together and…I’m excited?”

He laughs too, now, chest heaving as he pulls you tight and kisses you, slowly and deeply. You reach for his body, leg wrapping around his and one hand slipping to his hard cock while he caresses and sucks on your tits. His hand is inside your panties now, eagerly seeking out the warm, silky wetness of your folds.

“Going to take these off, is that okay?” You nod, moaning as he tugs down the black fabric and lifting your hips so he can drag them over your ass. You kick them off as he rolls you against him, one hand grabbing the flesh of your ass while the other rubs small circles over your clit.

You lean back slightly to look at him, your hands now tugging at the waistband of his boxer briefs. “I want you naked, too,” you murmur, breasts resting on Ben’s chest. “Want to go down on you for a little bit. Is that okay?”

His eyes widen. “God, yeah. Fuck, please, Lyd.”

His boxers discarded, you move down his body, one hand already gently stroking his hard length. You resist the urge that strikes you to drag your teeth over the soft flesh of his tummy, maybe even to bite him.

You plant a gentle kiss to the tip of his cock, flicking your gaze up to meet his as you take him, hard as hell, between your lips, tongue gently flicking over the head.

The gesture drives him crazy, and he groans, low and long.

“Fucking hell, you’re good at this. You’re really fucking good at this. So fucking…oh God, Lyd.”

You smile at the praise as you continue to take him deeper into your mouth, fingers tracing around the base of his cock and stroking him lightly. The bulge you’d first felt in his office earlier that evening did not disappoint.

“Fuck, Lyd, I won’t last if you keep that up,” he hisses, breathing ragged as you use your tongue to lick up and down his shaft.

Gently, you remove him from your mouth and push yourself back up the mattress, Ben’s strong hands guiding you back into place against the pillows. He drops his hand back to your soaking pussy as you feel the warm, solid softness of his body on yours. You inhale his masculine scent deeply: his cologne, leather, paper, and still a hint of wine from his lips.

You never want to be anywhere but here.

He begins to trace a line of kisses from your mouth down to your breasts and tummy, slowly bringing himself down the line of your body until he is nestled between your legs. He runs a finger along a patch of stretch marks on your hip before kissing them softly. With care and a kind of reverence, he plants kisses on the soft flesh of your belly, starting just under your belly button, and working his way down as far as the hair that covers your mound.

He gently pushes your right leg out to make a little more room and open you up, lifting your leg over his shoulder, before beginning to lick purposefully at your glistening folds. You cry out with pleasure, one hand reaching back to grip the wooden headboard of the bed and the other dropping to the back of Ben’s head. You trail your fingers through his hair as he eats you out, moaning as the line of his nose nudges rhythmically against your clit while his tongue explores you.

It doesn’t take much to bring you back to the edge, and when he brings a finger up to massage you while his tongue slips in and out of your cunt, you come on his face, hips rolling up and back as you climax.

He grins as he shifts his body back up the bed and you reach for him, pulling him in for a kiss so that you can taste yourself on his lips. He hums with pleasure and pulls back to look at you, rubbing a thumb gently against your cheek before nuzzling in at your neck. His weight against you is somehow devastatingly erotic and perfectly reassuring.

He pulls back again and you wrap your arms around his broad shoulders, opening your legs even wider as you feel the heavy, hard length of his cock pulsing against your core. He rolls one of your nipples between the tips of his fingers, letting his broad palm cup the soft flesh of your breast.

Your voice is quiet, but determined. “I want you to fuck me, baby. Please. Fuck me.”

“I’m going to, darling.” He drops a hand to your soaking pussy, making sure you’re ready. He looks deep into your eyes and you try to make a mental screenshot of this moment: what it feels like to have him above you, to have the weight of his body against yours, to feel the tip of his cock nudging at the lips of your cunt; to look into his eyes and see them dark with lust and warm with affection, to have him tracing his fingers across your mouth and jaw before asking, silently, for a final gesture of consent.

You nod and gently move your hips down as if you’re going to take him into you all by yourself. He moans loudly, guiding himself slowly and steadily inside you until he bottoms out. The stretch makes you gasp, though it’s in no way painful. You close your eyes as you adjust to the sensation of him filling you, warm and heavy.

He’s looking deeply into your eyes when you open them again. “You okay?” He gently strokes the side of your face with his long fingers.

“Mmmyeah,” you sigh, distracted by the pleasure of having him inside you. “You’re big, you know,” you murmur. “You’re such a big boy.”

As soon as the words leave your mouth you screw up your face with embarrassment.

Lydia, what in the fuck was that? Did he already manage to fuck the filter out of you with his fingers? Did he induce some sort of malfunction in lydiabrain.exe?

Ben’s eyebrows are raised but you can tell he’s trying not to laugh.

You’re fucking this up, Lyd, as usual.

“Oh god I’m so cringe, I’m so sorry -“

He stops you with a chuckle and a soft, sweet kiss. “I mean, it’s a hell of a compliment.” He arches an eyebrow and looks endearingly smug. “Would you like your big boy to fuck you now?”, he purrs.

This time, you’re the one who can’t help but giggle as you roll your eyes in mock horror at the cheesy line and he grins in response. You can’t remember the last time you felt this intimate with a lover.

“I would like that very much. Move, Ben, please.”

He takes it slowly at first, keeping his body close to yours as he uses his hips to pull out and push back into your core, over and over. The rhythm is steady and insistent, and your body responds in kind, your hips moving to meet him and your legs widening and hitching up to take him even more deeply.

He’s starting to increase the pace slightly and you whine, digging your fingers into his broad shoulders. “You feel so good, Lyd,” he pants, “so fucking good. So warm and tight.”

“You like how tight I am for you? You want to see how much I can take?” you coo in his ear as you trail your hands down his back before spreading your palms over his ass, triggering a growl from deep within his chest as he fucks you faster.

“Want you to take it all, baby, know you can…” A grimace flashes across his face, though he doesn’t stop, and you wonder if something’s wrong. You bring your hands back up to his shoulders and run a finger along the bristling hair on his jawline.

“Are you okay? Do we need to stop?”

“Sorry, just a tight muscle somewhere -“ He looks a little sheepish, as if his body is letting him down.

“Hey,” you murmur, “get on your back. I want to fuck you on top.” His eyes widen with delight and you shift your bodies together, keeping him inside you as he eases carefully back onto the bed and you straddle him.

For a moment you stay just like that, quiet and still. He looks you up and down, smiling at the sight of you and brushing the tips of his fingers gently over the weight of your breasts and the curve of your hips and thighs. You run your hands over Ben’s chest, gazing at his body as if it were a treasure. When you start to trace your fingers over his tummy, he seems to shrink back a little, embarrassed by his physique.

In response, you shift forward, pulling him out of you slightly so that you can lean in and run your tongue and mouth over the soft flesh of his stomach. He’s looking down his chest at you, and you look up from under your eyelashes.

“This is a really sexy tummy, you know. Probably the sexiest I’ve ever seen in my life.”

A smile flickers across his face. “You don’t have to say that -“

You silence him by sinking back down onto his full length, pulling a cry from his lungs. With a roll of your hips you start to ride his cock, keeping your fingers on his tummy. As you pick up the pace he can’t keep his eyes off your breasts, and he greedily lifts himself up to suck on your nipples. The sensation of his tongue tracing the outline of each nipple is enough to throw you off, and you have to really concentrate on the rhythm you’ve set with your hips and ass.

Months of pent-up frustration and desire find their release as you fuck Ben harder and deeper, his hands digging into your hips and thighs. “Fucking hell, Lyd, you’re amazing,” he rasps, eyes flitting between the fluid movement of your hips and the bounce of your tits. “Feels amazing. Feel good for you, too?”

You nod, not wanting to break the rhythm. With a smirk, he slips a thumb to your clit and starts to rub circles over and around it. You cry out his name in response.

“Fuck yes, Ben, keep doing that, keep doing…that’s it, fuck!”

“Are you going to come again for me, Lyd?”, he murmurs gently, the quiet of his voice in stark contrast to the obscene, wet noises coming from your cunt and the dirty talk he’s sent tripping from your tongue.

For the third time, the tightly-wound coil snaps deep inside you. You can feel your cunt pulsing around Ben’s cock as you ride out your peak, feeling him tightening between your legs. He’s close. He sits up, pausing to kiss you and to suck on your neck for a few moments while he caresses your tits, before easing you over and onto your back again so he can finish with you underneath him.

“You’re so close,” you whisper to him as he starts to fuck you again, hard and steady. “Let go, baby. Come for me.”

He picks up the pace, the wetness of your pussy letting him take you as hard as he wants. He’s still holding back.

“Let go. Come in me,” you purr, hitching your hips slightly to let him go even deeper. “I want your come in me.”

That’s enough to tip him over the edge, and Ben’s rhythm stutters and finally breaks. With a gasp and a shudder you feel him come, crying out as he fills you, cock buried deep within you and beads of sweat dripping from his chest onto your tits.

He stays put for a moment or two, panting into your neck as he tries to pull himself together. You run your fingers through the soft curls of his hair and hold him close.

“Thank you.”

His words are almost inaudible, barely a whisper, and you aren’t entirely sure if you’ve heard them or imagined them. You respond with a kiss to the top of his head.

After a couple of moments Ben pulls away and gets out of bed, pulling the comforter around you before crossing from his bedroom to the bathroom across the hall. He returns with a washcloth and a towel, cleaning you up and gently drying you off. He places one more kiss on your belly and smiles, moving back up to join you at the head of the bed.

You lie close together, facing each other in a comfortable silence. He strokes a little pattern on the curve of your hip while you absent-mindedly trace a finger over the constellation of dark freckles across the top of his chest.

He tilts your chin up to look at you, stroking your cheek as his big dark eyes gaze into yours. You plant a soft kiss on the little bare patch of skin along his jaw before shifting back to look - really look - at Ben’s face, mapping it with your eyes. The slight furrow between his brows. The line of his nose. The specific shape and colour of his lips. The little divot in his bottom lip.

“Was - was that okay?” He looks at you intently with those big, baby cow eyes, waiting for a response.

You are surprised by the question and by how quiet and awkward he sounds, given that he’s just made you come deeper and harder than you have in years. Or maybe ever.

Three. Fucking. Times.

“It was…” you search for the right word as you run your fingers over his strong bicep, “amazing. I mean, I don’t think I’ve ever come that hard before, honestly. Was it good for you too?”

He blushes, a wide smile creeping across his face. “Pretty spectacular, Lyd. You on top? I mean…” He mimes fireworks exploding with his hands, and you bury your face in his chest as you laugh. You stay like that for a little while, tucked into his side with a big, stupid smile on your face and your arm wrapped around Ben’s tummy. He holds you close to him, tilting his head to rest on yours.

The gesture brings you back, suddenly, to Halloween. His arm around your waist. Your arm around his shoulders. His head resting against you, yours against his.

Fuck, you two are idiots.

“We should have done this ages ago,” he murmurs, and you worry for a moment that he might be able to read your mind.

You reach for his hand, twining your fingers together.

“Was it worth the wait, Ben?”

He squeezes you tightly. “Every fucking minute.”

It’s still comparatively early when you fall asleep (the joys of a 5pm party start time), you as the little spoon, Ben dozing off with an arm around you and his hand gently holding your breast. His body is warm and comforting against your back, and you listen for a couple of minutes to the sound of his breathing slowing, steadying, into sleep.

You don’t sleep for very long - maybe an hour or two. You blink awake, noticing that the lamp is still on, and that Ben’s broad hand is still in place against your soft skin. You caress the back of his hand with yours, trying not to wake him but wanting to feel him under your fingertips again.

“Mmmmm. Hi, baby.” He drowsily starts to kiss the back of your neck, and his fingers begin to squeeze lightly at your nipple. It grows hard and pert as he nuzzles into your neck, his mouth tracing a line of kisses along your shoulder. You are still wet from earlier, but can feel the ache building again between your legs. He shifts closer to you, and you feel his cock, hard again, pressing against your ass.

You keen quietly with pleasure, still sleepy, your body starting to grind against his. He whispers a question into your ear, and in response you drag his hand down your body, lifting your leg ever so slightly so he can feel for himself.

“Christ, darling, this just from me playing with your tit?”

You hum your appreciation, nodding. “Mmmm. And the orgasms.”

He chuckles quietly. “Can I have you?” He shuffles down slightly, his hard length already notching at your thighs.

“Always,” you purr, and he reaches around to tilt your face to his. He kisses you as he lifts your leg, drapes it over his, and carefully pushes inside you. The stretch is still new, but more familiar now, and you mewl a little as he bottoms out.

It’s slow at first, intense and intimate as he works up a rhythm while still half-asleep. He moans into your neck as he fucks you gently, praising you over and over. “You feel so good, Lyddie,” he whispers, “taking it so well.” He sucks lightly at the crook of your neck, making you whimper with pleasure.

“You’re so beautiful. Beautiful girl,” he sighs, rolling his hips firmly but slowly as he thrusts up into your pussy.

“I lo-... I love y-your…body. So soft for me.”

“I love your body too, baby.” You drop a hand between your legs and touch yourself. As he realises what you’re doing, he picks up the pace, fucking you harder from behind until you come with a cry.

His hand drifts to your uppermost hip, holding you in place as he fucks - and talks - you through it. “That’s it, baby. You feel so good when you come like that for me. I lo-”

You know he’s close, both from the stuttering rhythm and the fact he can’t use his words any more. He mutters and curses as his movements become more staggered. With a moan that seems to come from the depths of his soul, he spills into you with a final thrust, panting into your back as he stays inside you for a moment.

You turn your mouth to his again, and he kisses you with hunger and gratitude.

You are both utterly wrecked, in every sense, lying flat out on the bed together as you come down from a shared high.

“So I know you’ve got your flight tomorrow,” he says, fingers idly running up and down your forearm, and you brace yourself for him suggesting you should probably go home.

“But if you’d like, you can stay the night? I can drive you to your place as early as you need.”

“If you want me to? I don’t want to impose…”

He shakes his head. “It would be a pleasure. I want you to stay, you know? Would you like something to sleep in? A t-shirt?” You nod in response. He’s holding your hand, rubbing his thumb against your palm.

He retrieves two T-shirts and a pair of boxers from a tallboy that stands against the opposite wall of the room, holding the shirts up for your approval.

“REM 1999 tour shirt, or study abroad souvenir?” He really is gorgeous, you think, even when he’s standing naked making silly faces and pretending to model each shirt. Actually, especially when he’s doing that.

“Ooh, vintage Universidad de Málaga 1996, please.” He crosses back to the bed and hands you the faded red cotton shirt before pulling on his own.

“That’s a precious relic,” he says with mock seriousness. “It is a privilege to wear that shirt.”

“Understood. I respect the power of the shirt.” You bow your head, crossing your arms across your chest reverentially and he laughs gently.

He clambers back into bed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you close under the comforter. You rest your head on his shoulder, hands on his chest, and sneak little glances up at him. He’s already starting to drift to sleep, lids heavy and breathing slowing into a steady rhythm.

Oh, fuck. He’s so gorgeous. He’s so beautiful.

The last word slips, unbidden, from your lips, and he looks confused for a moment before breaking into a gentle, sleepy smile. “So are you.”

The afterglow is cosy and safe. He holds you close with his strong arms, and your fingers are entwined with his. It is both new and familiar, strange and reassuring; a first time, and like you’ve been doing this forever.

(bookshelf divider by @animatedglittergraphics-n-more; other dividers by @cafekitsune)

Further A/N: They got there. They have a long way to go (please don't hate me - it can't all be sunshine and orgasms roses). Next chapter sees some more Christmas "cheer", albeit on other sides of the Atlantic.

Thank you so much if you've been with them this far - don't forget, of course, that Lydia is just visiting...

#visiting fic #visiting masterlist #mr ben snl #mr ben au #mr ben x ofc #mr ben fanfic #professor ben x ofc #professor!ben #professor!ben x ofc #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfiction #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal #Youtube

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seventeenlovesthree · 3 months

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If you were chosen to continue the Digimon Adventure 2020 story, what headcanon theories or ideas would do you have for the series going forward?

What you want the Digidestineds next great adventure to be? How would you want them to grow and develop as characters? And how would their relations evolve? Especially how do you imagine Tai's relation with Sora and Izzy would develop? (I love the three of them soooooo much in the 2020 series!)

If it were to take place right after the end of Digimon 2020?

Oh, if only I HAD that power...! I had already outlined a few aspects here before, but for completion's sake, I can elaborate again, because there are several possible scenarios I would like to see:

1.) Give me a slice-of-life-anime with the 8 being somewhere between 12 and 17 and have them go through some Tamers/Ghost Game-esque adventures in the real world. I had written a love letter for how much I adore episode 31 of OG Adventure structurally the other day and I would really love a series with the same vibe. Since the first season of the reboot was more plot-driven, this second season would primarily focus on their personal stories/backgrounds/family lives with Digimon-related shenanigans affecting technology and their everyday lives in the process. Giving every single character time and space to bloom. We would also learn more about the Crests and how each kid was chosen in the first place - I don't NEED reincarnation theory to be confirmed, but I would really like some more breadcrumbs into a satisfying explanation as for WHY THEY were chosen specifically in "this timeline" and how exactly the Crests came to be.

2.) I also had an idea based on a dream I once had, additionally furthered by the last episode or rather the "epilogue" that was presented there: I had outlined the idea here as well, but basically, it'd be about dividing the cast into primary and secondary squad (to allow more focus on singular characters in a shorter number of episodes) and have the former actually go gate-hopping and exploring the different worlds out there. It's a more self-indulgent idea, as it mainly focuses on the dynamics between Taichi, Koushirou, Sora and Mimi, but I couldn't keep the others away completely either. So I haven't fully utilized the idea yet...

3.) An interesting idea that was brought to my attention recently was the idea of making a season revolve around Taichi disappearing due to the gate-hopping. Since the first season basically revolved around typical Shounen protagonist Taichi Yagami, the second season would be about the others gate-hopping as well to find him. I haven't thought this one through yet either though...

In terms of general character development and relationship dynamics, I would be happy to actually see more about their individual selves, their flaws and worries and how they get along - or don't. It's really difficult to put a finger on how exactly that would look like, because I absolutely cannot blame the creators of the reboot for being "careful" on how to depict the characters beyond some general tropes. We've known these guys for TWENTY FIVE years and Tri already tried to tackle some things that were different, while still resorting to predictable outcomes without much depth we had already seen several times over - without intending to change the status quo too much. I obviously don't want to see perfect happy endings for everyone, but things were missing in the reboot so far that made the original characters so charming - and the reboot HAD the chance to elaborate on different outcomes here.

We already saw Jyou going for a more leadership-esque route, which his OG self actively didn't choose. So how would that affect his relationship with Taichi, who naturally got the leadership role again? How about Sora having a semi-peaceful relationship with her mother this time, so she can actually be experimental AND also choose to be a vital part of the group? What about Mimi coming from a rich family that provides technological gadgets - how would her knowledge on that influence the way she communicates with Koushirou? Would she try to be competitive for example? Show me more insecurities, show me how they'd actually challenge their Crest meanings? Show me a Hikari who rebels against her brother, show me a Takeru who takes charge, show me Koushirou being honest about his back story to the others (LET US KNOW IF HE IS EVEN ADOPTED IN THIS TIMELINE OR NOT), show me Yamato being vulnerable or try to be more humorous and failing at that! Show me Taichi having flaws! Again, I don't NEED him to be depressed AGAIN, but he has to have something he is insecure or unsure about.

As for Taikoura's relationship, once again, there are several ideas I could see, all shipping aside. One of them is the very self-indulgent "Team Light are actually connected mentally now and can sense and feel when the others are in danger" soulmate scenario that may affect how they interact with each other...

... In more general terms, I do need them all to spend more time together. If you take the ideas 1 I outlined above, they would go through their daily lives together, visiting the same school, etc. So of course Taichi and Sora would focus more on their passion for football as they promised in season 1 and, as mentioned above, Sora might still feel weird about "growing into herself", but she would be more comfortable about experimenting. Combining her tomboy-ness with a more feminine side and exploring that further (and in an ideal scenario deepening her relationship with Mimi in the process, because the reboot did NOT focus on that yet AT ALL). And I want Taichi to be supportive of her in this!

Taichi also made a promise to Koushirou that they would explore the other worlds together - which may also apply to idea 2 I outlined, because I need them to have an OWG-esque partners-in-crime relationship in which they go on cyber adventures together. And in both idea 1 and 2, they would have to balance their daily lives and responsibilities with that. Meaning, this would be a great opportunity to actually see Taichi and Sora learn about Koushirou's home life - he might still try to hide it from them, but I'd want a huge chunk of the story to focus on them trying to get something out of him (gently of course!), having him explore his own identity in the process as well. Showing him that the bond he developed with these two (and the others too) does not just exist because he is "useful" to them, but because he really means something to them.

I obviously also want Koura to bond more with each other - not only over their shared affections for Taichi and because they want to figure out if he is actually hiding something behind that unshattered mask of positivity... Maybe in this timeline, I can finally get them to become canonical fashion buddies, who knows?

Edit: A very important aspect I forgot is that I want and need new Jogress and branch evolutions between the different characters! BE EXPERIMENTAL, TOEI, IT'S GOOD FOR MERCH AND SHIPPING.

#personal #my two cents #taikoura #digimon adventure 2020 #digimon adventure:#digimon adventure reboot sequel #long post

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n7punk · 15 days

Text

"Lightbeam" Fic Notes

Pretend I posted this *checks watch* two days ago when I finished Lightbeam. I got busy lol and I was playing Stardew Valley.

Epilogue Life:

:) You’ll have to wait

Chapter 1:

⦁ This fic was originally written back in February after Embrace the Blame in preparation for the Bang. TLDR is we needed to have the fics ready early so the artists could then illustrate them, so I just wanted to write the whole thing at once because that’s how my projects work. I actually finished Embrace the Blame a few days before I posted the final chapter(s) because I had been posting it on a schedule and I could just continue using that as I worked on this to make the gap in my posting overall smaller. I think it actually took me like two weeks to write this, which is why there was a week and a half between the end of EtB and start of MMaM (and of course I had to write MMaM some too, but I already wrote the first few chapters ages ago). It’s also why there was almost two weeks between Start Your Engine finishing and Our Love Is God starting. I wrote the entire rough draft in February, and during that break I edited and finalized the fic for posting in May. I also just had a lot going on then, but yeah this fic has been slotted in between my others over the last few months.

⦁ Adora’s father’s information was left blank because she was an immaculate conception. More on this will be explored in the sequel fic <3

⦁ Norwyn is officially unnamed in the reboot I think but he’s one of the higher-ups at Mystacor. In the OG he was Shadow Weaver’s mentor.

⦁ Adora’s weather powers come up a lot in the first few scenes and I wish I had more “diversity” in magical incidents, but the problem is, as outlined later in the fic, Adora has no idea the stuff she’s doing (see: her coffee) and the weather stuff is pretty much the only consistent thing she has identified as maybe her fault. There was initially also mention of a drowning incident she miraculously survived when learning how to swim that even she knew was weird, but it ended up cut for flow.

⦁ In general, magic is normal, inevitable, and accepted, but there are still some “normie” communities that pop up in small pockets and want nothing to do with, say, a lesbian drowning the upper east side by accident on a Wednesday afternoon because she’s sad. Legally they can’t do anything to “discriminate”, but it’s a culture thing. Catra faced constant bullying and Adora was only safe because she didn’t even know if she had magic. Weaver moved there after getting cursed from her own incompetence because they easily believed the story that someone else cursed her and welcomed her in as a victim with open arms. Her understanding along with rejection of magic made her the perfect person to point to justify their ignorance (see, even a once-sorceress can be turned on and reject magic when she realizes the dangers. Etc). The main reason she moved there was just because there was less magic in the area, though (part of the reason a normie community popped up there), so it made it easier to manage her curse because it was weakened.

⦁ Oh boy, the Whispering Woods section. So first, I should say the version in the fic is pretty much what I originally outlined. The only big difference was Adora was supposed to find out about Razz from her research and went seeking her out rather than going there following her “mom.” I couldn’t figure out what that research would look like, though, so I went with the mom thing because that aligned with her backstory. My big problem was that I got a new idea once I got to writing the woods and the new idea was bad but it felt like reversing progress to go back to the original thing. The new idea was that Mara was an ancient She-ra who fell in love with Light Hope and, in her grief when Light Hope died, accidentally transformed her soul into a guardian spirit who would watch over future She-ras and “keep them safe” so they don’t get in a position where they, yknow, accidentally warp time and space and the laws of physics again. Light Hope was the one who actually sent the lightning, sent Catra, and protected Adora when she was drowning when she was seven. Adora would find the hut, would talk in circles with Razz, spot Catra who immediately fled, and get so frustrated and sad it started pouring rain, which forced Catra to flee back in through the window and into Adora’s arms for safety from Razz but she refused to change back because she was mad at her. While waiting out the storm, Adora eventually had the idea to google guardian spirits, found different methods for getting in contact with them, and tried meditation. This is around when I realized this whole set-up was bust, but the idea was going to be that she got in contact with Light Hope, had her powers she wasn’t in touch with explained to her, and told Light Hope to stop the wrath of god shit. Light Hope’s existence kind of wiped out everything I had planned for what was supposed to be the actual fic with her learning her powers. This new backstory changed everything and ruined what I actually wanted to write about, so I went back to my original outline. It’s way better for it and it meant I actually got to do the slow discovering and mastering of her powers I had planned, but boy can it be a struggle to dig yourself out of a hole and lose “progress”.

⦁ Catra eating the pie was actually a joke from before I started working on the fic. The original joke was that she was legitimately visiting the woods just to “steal” food from Razz and this was a thing she did on the weekends sometimes because they all lived nearby. Razz was fine with sharing with her cat “guest” in this version and seemed oblivious to the fact she was a person. This got changed because 1) Even if I changed it so they were all living near the woods and there weren’t barriers to Catra and Adora spending time together early on when she’s reluctant, that then posed the question of why the hell Adora hadn’t tried visiting her mom’s place already if it was easily accessible, 2) while I think Catra taking the pie once she knows about it is in character, her ever wandering through the woods enough to even find Razz to steal from wasn’t, so the basic set up didn’t really work, 3) the final version, with Adora’s powers going haywire and bringing her there, is way more impactful and in line with the fic’s story. It gives Catra a motivation to keep in contact with Adora after this point and illustrates definitively just how powerful Adora’s powers can be when she’s still in denial about the “warping the fabric of reality” thing.

⦁ Agatha Trunchbull was the basically demonic head mistress in Matilda, which, from my understanding, had a fucking torture closet she would lock kids into, in addition to regularly assaulting them like when she clobbered a massive serving tray over a kids head. I haven’t actually read the book, I just knew someone who liked it growing up and I went to the wikipedia to be sure when I went for the reference.

Chapter 2:

⦁ Adora’s spiraling and exaggerating, but empaths do need to actually hold the hand of someone and open their heart to feel their energy, so Adora isn’t likely to ever cause an accidental concussion as long as she’s careful about who she holds hands with.

⦁ “Catra sends her a condescending look that makes Adora blush for some reason.” It’s because you like belittling, idiot.

⦁ Catra’s kitten form is partially a result of trauma and partially natural self-defense. Having such a small form allowed her to hide and slip away when she needed safety from Weaver/bullies/etc. The trauma getting a little better is why she was able to “grow up” a little but she was right that it’s permanent in the sense she will never be able to have an adult form.

⦁ The meditation was actually a lot more helpful than Adora gave it credit for, but again, lack of self-awareness.

Chapter 3:

⦁ Adora’s whole thing about “oh, I’ve never actually experienced this thing I’ve heard talked about” is definitely a realization I’ve had a few times in my life, usually in some medical context though, like when I found out I’d never had an actual runny nose because I’d never breathed through my nose before.

Chapter 4:

⦁ Catra is being especially cuddly as a cat because it’s an “acceptable” way to get snuggled up close so she can then transform and properly cuddle Adora.

⦁ Catra showing up at her door as a cat was literally just because I wanted an excuse to write more kitten!Catra I was ready to be done with her yet lol.

⦁ I’m planning to write a sequel fic set a few years down the line once Catra and Adora are married, but as you know if you’ve been following my Tumblr, I have like three active WIPs demanding attention, so that’s going to have to wait.

⦁ This isn’t related to the fic so much, but this was my first time ever doing a fandom event! There’s definitely zines and stuff I would have wanted to participate in before but I only ever learn about these things after they’re already over lol. I loved being part of this Bang and oh my god do I love the illustrations so much Karo did an INCREDIBLE job. I knew I wanted to participate in the Bang the second I heard about it, but picking a fic was hard. I really wanted to write something in canon but didn’t think any of my current OotW ideas would be long enough for the word count requirement. At that time, I had a canon divergent AU ready to go, but it was Make Me A Monster and I wanted to do something happy so… yeah that was a no go lol even if someone might have wanted to draw the cybernetics. Lightbeam ended up being the perfect option because it was 1) fairly short for an AU but long enough to meet the requirement and post over the week, 2) light-hearted, 3) had plenty of scenes I thought someone might want to illustrate between Adora’s powers and kitten!Catra, 4) I’ll be honest, it kind of felt full circle, because…

⦁ At the start of this year I posted freak occurrence: confluence as a celebration of over three years of posting Catradora fics and finally getting to my fics being 1% of the entire Catradora tag on AO3 (next goal is 1% of the SPOP tag — JOKE THIS IS A JOKE THAT’S NEVER HAPPENING). It featured tons of my Catradora couples from various AUs — including one AU that hadn’t been posted yet. I’d had the freak occurrence fic idea for three years, so whenever I came up with a new AU I’d picture its Catradora in that scenario, which meant I’d already thought about what Lightbeam’s couple would do in that scenario even though I hadn’t written it yet. Getting to post it as part of the Bang was so exciting and I hope it lived up to expectations! The version that was featured in that fic was a few years older, when Adora had a better grip on her magic, but you’ll see a bit of that in the sequel fic.

Meta:

Playlist

Upcoming:

I have a one shot I’m probably going to post in the next couple days and then I’m aiming for Slipstream (my hacker AU) but uh….. Something is coalescing that may also demand attention. Stay tuned ig lol

#lightbeam #fic notes #ficmeta

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Have you ever seen the rain