#of course its on fucking homestuck day
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Mark your calendars for JU.IC.E launch day, 4/13/2023
#my post#caboose boos#17776#juice#jupiter icy moons explorer#space#space probes#astronomy#of course its on fucking homestuck day
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first fanart redraw for 4/13
#homestuck#413#davesprite#dave strider#at least i think its my first one#oldest one i could find at least lol#of fucking course its dsprite <3#nr 1 davesprite fan from day one 💪😤🔥#11 years difference >:)#was hoping to be able to redraw it with my right hand but.... such is life#maybe for next years 4/13 u_u#the og piece currently hangs on my grans wall jumpscaring me each time i visit...#my art#redraw#art
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day 99
i have NEARLY finished the skirt for my ren faire fit i just gotta get a few finishing details added and also get the undershirt bleached (bc i got a bunch of makeup on it at last years fair and shit Stained) but THEN i can show yall the final fit!!
#day 99#year 5#aradia megido#homestuck#its gonna be cute#i was so fucking stressed abt this one because like.#i bought my fabric and i was like oh yeah dude this is toooootally more than enough for a circle skirt#went to finally cut things#realized i only had enough for a half-circle skirt and it would end up with a bunch of weirdly-shaped scrap at the end#(ie i would have to do a bunch of weird piecing to make the waistband and pockets and such)#and like honestly a half-circle skirt was NOT enough volume for me i need my skirts swooshy#so i was like well. okay. i think i can optimize my fabric usage more if i draft a paneled skirt#but this of course required..... Math.#and unfortunately. i was an art major. so. there was a lot of struggling#BUT I DID IT. THERE WAS STILL A LIIIIITTLE BIT OF PIECING THAT HAD TO BE DONE BUT IT IS MINIMAL AND CAMOUFLAGED PRETTY WELL#and also this is for a ren faire primarily bc i dont wear a lot of skirts in day-to-day#SO. economical fabric usage is absolutely period accurate. even though none of the rest of my outfit or techniques are.#basically all thats left for me to do is add pockets and the closure at the back#i meant to add the pockets as i was doing the main construction but i got too excited and forgor#so theres gonna be some seam ripping but nothing too bad
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Nurse Mituna?! Do you trust her....
#homestuck#mituna captor#transfem mituna#ok imagine an earth C AU and all the dancestors are there and everything is great and mituna is transgender and a nurse but of course#still a gamer and a skater and shes doing her best#she skates home after work every day#actually she would probably work the night shift i think she would thrive in that sort of environment#everyone is like youre fucking insane and shes like 1 KN40W#H3H3H3H3H3#i wonder if hospitals on earth C would be like. separated by trolls/humans?#that might be a lot for the doctors and nurses to memorize if theyre looking at caring for two entirely different species.#like maybe you can pick your specialty like a human who is a troll surgeon or a troll who is a human NP#God thats so amusing to me. actually#Maybe some hospitals are co-ed in more sparsely populated areas to save funds but in cities you can afford to have different facilities#anyway mituna loves the craziness shes being pulled in all directions and getting hit and yelled at but shes dealt with cronus for an etern#ty so its nothing new to her#bossy highbloods.. she knows not to take their vitriol personally. they are trolls just like everyone else#luckily she enjoys being needed and constantly on her feet#and when things slow down she likes to entertain her patients!
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whatre your thoughts on younger fandom mem8ers (like those who are under 18) and how they interact with homestuck just as a whole? im a 8it curious ::::)
i was the youngest of all my (5) siblings, but like with any big family there are like.. age group generations. my siblings were all much older than me so despite being the youngest, in my "generation" i was one of the oldest of all the cousins. This will make sense to some, probably especially if you are hispanic.
So I've always kind of been around younger people. This is what pushed me to want to be a music teacher. Taking the guidance and lessons I got from my older siblings/cousins/uncles/aunts/etc and giving it to a new generation.
Now that i'm middle aged and my bright young idealist teaching days are far behind me, i find myself again in a position where i am surrounded by younger people. While I have little interest in interacting with children on a personal level I do think that its important to understand that they're just kids. You have to treat them with what my teachers called compassionate regard.
What this means is remembering that sometimes they will mess up, or sometimes have sort of stupid ideas, or they'll say weird and often kind of mean things and not just think about it. They're just kids. When you're a kid you test your boundaries and figure out who you're trying to be. To quote homestuck itself:
As an adult, it is your job to know better and try to be kind even if they are being sort of a little weirdo. Whether they know it or not, kids are seeing how you react or engage. If you're setting a bad example by being a shithead how can you expect them to be any better?
What I do, is I try and establish clear boundaries. "please don't do that." etc. If a young person says something especially rude or weird to me, tell them clearly not to do that. It doesn't have to be a whole ordeal. You don't have to make fun of them or shit on them. If its something that needs course correcting you can just privately say "hey don't do that."
thats all a little heavy handed too though. not every moment is a LEARNABLE LESSON or w/e. i think you have to balance that sort of thing with just rolling with it. sometimes some little bastard dunks on you because you're a boomer online and you just gotta go like, damn you fucking got me. sometimes you gotta riff on the bit. sometimes a kid will have a really stupid take online and your first reaction cant be "i gotta own this idiot" they're like 15 man let it go. you beefing with someone who has to ask permission to go to the bathroom its not that deep.
anyway this got really long, and i dont even know if i answered your question. forgive me i am old.
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💿⚛️ davejade headcanons
sorry for leaving you guys waiting on this for like a week lol i kept being like “tomorrow for sure” but falling asleep but anyway here it is. i might add more to this if i think if anything but reblogs might not reflect the up to date source version so you can always find it here
most of these are pointing out stuff thats basically canon anyway but whatever lol. basically canon headcanons
dave tries to impress jade to get her attention because he likes her
this ones for you *misses hoop by 5 feet*
he doesnt mind jade’s inane riddles honestly. he isn’t perturbed by how she just knows things like rose is, because he doesnt think into it too far. he trusts her
he spends a lot of time indulging in her interests and showers her in his music and poetry
they draw things for each other a lot <3 jade has the pictionary modus and seems pretty good at drawing and of course dave sent her sbahj as furries in the mail. sending jpegs over the internet is BABY NONSENSE. real boys send their childhood friend/crush pictures they drew for them through the INTERNATIONAL POSTAL SYSTEM to an unspecified island in the middle of nowhere, pacific ocean that gets packages dropped by plane so the recipient can tangibly hold it and hang it in their room
actually i was going through the commentary and hussie addresses it as such:
“Also notice her SBaHJ furry poster, which was clearly a very thoughtful gift from Dave”
aww
jade would give dave a "cool" plushie of a tiger or something nd he keeps it on his desk . froot’s beautiful idea
he loves her plushie sensibilities. so much less unnerving than his bro’s phallic puppets. they're still soft but no cognitive dissonance this time about the softness coming from foam puppet ass hoorayyy
theyre still reading homestuck on act 4 but they understood them instantly
jade humors dave’s ironic cool facade because it makes dave feel more comfortable without feeling too exposed, but it’s because of this that he feels like he can open up to her because she isnt prying. (im still not over the smile here btw. only jade could make dave smile after a fucked evening where he spilled juice on his turntables and accidentally skewered an innocent crow with his sword and broke his window this mf is TYPING. also getting a bit of joy out of the fact that the only visible suit on his cards-themed bedcover in this panel is a heart)
but he knows that jade is not unaware of what he's hiding. couldnt even refute her lol
from the knight’s perspective, it’s “i’m not as [blank] as i appear. i want you know that about me if i know you well and trust you, or i DON’T want you to know that about me if i DON’T know you well. the reason is that i want to know that i can trust you to avoid turning my insecurity into a Whole Thing”
basically she allows dave to take initiative when HE feels comfortable and confident in sharing the things he’s self-conscious about. this really helps him be comfortable and form a strong bond with her
dave would wrap his arms around her to “ironically” imitate a pair of tangle buddy squiddles (while actually concealing genuine affection basically unbeknownst to himself) but he winds up looking just a little too into it for just an “ironic” bit yall……
jade is slower to realize her deeper feelings since she shows love to everyone (so long as theyre deserving of it!!!) it just hits her one day that she actually Likes him in a special way, while for dave it is more dynamic and gradual but very on the downlow, expressed in creative acts and services
once dave actually recognizes he’s really caught feelings for her down the line, dave and jade happily do the tangle buddies hug all the time. its like their handshake. its their weird couple thing
these two when together as a unit they do not give a shit about what other people think of them
this shit lol:
Creative Fucking Powerhouse the two of them
davejade ass song to me
jade is quite spacey and super appreciates dave’s level-headedness and steady pragmatism while at the same time not being a rigid stick in the mud about it. for example when they were acting as each others’ server players dave was advising her but it was appreciated by jade
sorry its just literally socionics duality LITERALLY THIS IS THEMMM (also i spent WAY too much time making these graphics and integrating texts from multiple sources please appreciate it)
fittingly with that, as ouroborista writes about the opposite space-time aspect dichotomy,
Space and Time are the fundamental Aspect pair. Their job is to make shit take place. To create novelty. Between them they span not only all of existence but also the inseparable twin approaches of any creative project. Space goes for breadth, for ideas, for expansive, holistic input, while Time goes for needlepoint focus and a rapid-turnover ability to pull through on the prompt. There’s a reason why these are the two Aspects necessary for any successful session of SBURB.
jade is literally always having a little giggle about him. dave is a funny guy. lame court jester ass boyfriend
he’d draw his post-ironic fursona and show it to her with the usual deadpan expression on his face, eyes obscured by his shades. but jade will look at it and when he sees her smile and laugh it makes it all worth it. his cheeks feel warm and he’ll smile slightly like “heh heh”. dave the type to smile like an idiot over anything jade does like his mouth keeps making a thin line and hes trying to fight it but . Jade
dave thought jade looked absolutely stunning in her 3 in the morning dress his mouth probably stupidly hung open the tiniest amount seeing her after swapping into it
of course she only wears it for what she considers "very special occasions"…..spending time with dave seemed to be a very special occasion :)
jade think dave looks sharp in his suits!!
imagine jade adjusting daves crooked bowtie and lapel and his palms start to sweat and he darts his eyes from behind his shades and chews the inside of his cheek she making him nervous bro 💯
jade is definitely the teaser and dave is the teased. still i dont think jade teases dave as much as john and rose which is why he feels more comfortable opening up to her about his shit. her teasings are much lighter and inconsequential
despite how funny and informal he is dave is a classy well-put-together romantic. he is responsible and harmonious in how he choses to present himself. remember when he got secondhand embarrassment from rose when she was drunk before her date with kanaya and he suggested to her and kanaya that the two reschedule? … he’d NEVER do something like that. sober. suit is ON. hair is neatly combed. he is right on time, not too early not too late, and his first words are “yo whats up”
dave has this designated driver energy about him
after dogtiering jade’s dog ears can perk and flatten, adding even more expressiveness
jade has so many hobbies and interests i think she’d get dave into horticulture somehow unironically
theyre both the kinda mf to ask “would you still love me if i were a worm”
dave’s hands are warm
jade’s skin can be cool to the touch in some places like the back of her arms or shoulders and dave places his hands there to warm them. or by rubbing them or something
idk just some associations space is cool and time is warm to me. the vaccuum of space is cold and time is associated with gears which are associated with generating heat and dave’s classical element is fire and jade’s is earth and her planet is initially covered in snow and daves is covered in lava idk…. just makes symbolic sense i guess but its also cute in its own right
dave would love going to the beach with jade on earth c cause the ocean is so boob i mean boob i mean boob i m,ean boob i mean SHIT . blue. blue
this Fucking animation bro
she infodumps about science and he sits his ass down to listen
jade does this (excuse the fact that the url is roselalonde)
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a fun thing about being a tumblr user since 2009 is that ive seen this site go through so many distinct eras, it's fucking wild. i was here when this place was just for blogging and photography, 2010s hipster central, and then it was nothing but memes and rage comics, band photos, then fandoms and ask blogs, phan, bronies, homestuck, the fucking onceler for some reason?? self-discovering teens and just as many self-righteous ones who would tell you to kill yourself if you shipped the wrong thing. then the porn ban happens and almost everyone jumps ship to twitter, and everyone left here is just chill. it was seriously so weird to come here the day after and see maybe like 90% of my dash just gone. and over time people trickle back in, looking for a slice of low-stakes social media away from doomscrolling and People You May Know. of course then musk buys twitter and a bunch of people flood back in looking for some sanctuary. and meanwhile through all this, this place is just here, doing it's own thing, taking the shape of whatever the current times call for. say what you like about tumblr but through all its changes of ownership, site cultures and userbase sizes, it really is one of the last social media experiences that feels like it's in service to you, not the other way around. if they could just let me look at dick on the timeline again it really would be perfect
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what’s the bald lore?
ok first of all was not expecting to log on to tumblr to see suddenly my post about bald homestuck characters fucking blew up. i was about to sleep but i guess its fuckin bald lore time.
So, a while back I drew bald Sollux:
a few days ago, me and my friend qwert (@qwerty9537) were talking, and i mentioned "karkat probably doesnt know how to cut his hair and thats why its so messy"
qwert said "shave him"
and well i thought wouldnt it be funny if...
and of course i needed an image of what happened...
and so the cycle began.
-character is shaved
-character messages another character and says "youre next"
-that character is shaved
etc etc
so, here is the full saga:
(if you cant read image text, check the image descriptions!)
(fun fact this was the first time i ever drew john)
Thats it!
yeah, sorry i missed aradia and gamzee:( by the time i did all the others, i just was too tired to do the last two and never got around to it
also, this is the first time ive drawn most of the characters, so many of them look awkward or wonky. feferi was my least favorite lol
so yeah! the full lore of the bald homestuck characters>:)
#homestuck#doodles#mspaint#sollux captor#karkat vantas#dave strider#john egbert#vriska serket#tavros nitram#jade harley#rose lalonde#kanaya maryam#eridan ampora#feferi peixes#terezi pyrope#nepeta leijon#equius zahhak#this post took a hot second to edit together i hope i didnt forget anything agh
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I need to know why and how you were anti-phannie from 2014-2016
alright here we go i get to talk about THIS shit now.
i was generally anti-rpf at that point, and honestly? i think it was for fair enough reasons as some people were a bit too eager about showing (general) youtubers stories they wrote about them sucking and fucking their friends. i think i was also pretty high and mighty about being a somewhat oldhead phannie tbh, like ugh do these gaming-channel-only people even know about dan being super edgy and offensive 🙄 and lowkey it was a lot of subtly misogynistic "i'm not like other girls" type shit like i was sooo much better than yall cuz i hadn't watched that video (yet.)
i was generally not into these sorts of fandoms to begin with. i wasnt on the superwhopotterlock side, i was on the homestuck/dangan ronpa/anime of the month side of tumblr, if that gives you an idea of what i was like lol. around 2014-15 i was very much in a community that is kinda similar to what you might see on twitter now, where if you had any interests in media that portrayed anything problematic, that means you are in full support of that problematic thing. if dan howell said something racist in 2010, it doesn't matter that he wasn't being racist in 2015 he's still racist and liking him makes you a racist etc. and of course, rpf is included in problematic topics. if you ship real people, even if said people say they don't mind it, you are a sick pervert and you should be in the loony bin for being so depraved. and if you write or read any fiction that has immoral acts, it means you support those acts in real life too and you are trying to normalize abuse and SA (yknow as if whitecishetpatriarchy hasnt normalized that enough) and you're a danger to children and you deserve to rot in prison (yknow as if a queer person writing stories about queer people hasnt heard that one before)
now here's the real kicker. in 2015-2017 i ran a game grumps fan blog where i did talk about shipping the grumps. "wait how were you anti-rpf if-" well have you ever heard of this thing called Lying? or perhaps even, Cognitive Dissonance? i HAD to run a separate blog for this interest, because if my friends knew i consumed slashfic about arin and danny they would stop being friends with me and think im this evil horrible monster etc. genuinely that was where my brain was at, and is a little bit the reason i decided to this day, to make my phannie accounts completely separate from my main accounts.
nowadays, none of my non-phannie friends actually give a fuck and i do occasionally talk about dnp being silly gay white boys w them! at this point i dont post about em on main just out of respect like "hey im sure you dont actually want to hear about british yaoi constantly regardless of our level of friendship so i'll keep it over here okay?"
also, yeah i grew out of thinking consuming media with deplorable acts makes me deplorable. my favorite tv show is hannibal. i know its shocking, but i dont actually support serial killer cannibals. i will say, i dont fuck with "pro/anti" language with regards to what is considered "problematic" or having that be an identity marker. i think that people are free to write fiction as they please so long as its all properly tagged for people who dont enjoy that kind of content to avoid. but i also think there can be and often are problems in the way these stories are written, and yeah if all the romance stories you read growing up involve some sort of force or danger, that CAN normalize this sort of action as inherent to romance stories/real life romance. but i think thats an issue with like, society at large, and it's not on an individual fic writer to be educating teens who read their dead dove fic despite the explicit rating and tags.
TL;DR: BASICALLY. I WAS A DUMBASS KNOW-IT-ALL BUT DW I GOT BETTER.
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Day 9 (already?) of reading homestuck
"I never realized how terrible gushers are, actually" this is character growth
HOOOOOHOOHOOHOOHOO!
The child
Eridan you are DESPERATE
Aradia I regret to inform you that, scientifically/mathmatically speaking, bitches actually be more random than computers
Honktraband
Of course gamzee was a bard. It doesn't even matter of what, he was a bard and that's correct.
YES THE MIRACLES SONG IVE LOVED THIS SONG FOR SO LONG
Oh this is a different one? :0
Oh wait is this the ORIGINAL? Instead of the snl parody?? Oh my God I didn't realize it was actually this stupid
What's with islands? Get more land! What's with deserts? Get less sand!
Okay the snl parody is 100% better I make the rules here
Equius you are such a FREAK
Shout poles oh my god
Vriska you fuck
caw caw motherfuckers
Jade!
"There is no bad music in homestuck" I actually think the squiddles dream music might challenge this idea this is hurting me even if it's on purpose
Oh woag this is some weird ass eldritch shit now
Jade is finally awake!
Glubshrug
Poor Jade is really going through it right now :(
Future Karkat arguing with Past Karkat is my least favorite flavor of Karkat its exhausting ahkdhdis
John please be gentle with her garden
JOHN YOU SLUT
Sorry homestucks, those will always be squirtle glasses to me
No! It is not a triumphant thing that Dave's brother put Cal back together! It is awful and bad!
naknaknaknaknak my glasses are talking to me
"Answer the one who hates you" has "the part where he kills you" vibes
BEEEEEEC
Oh wait this is really bad
No wonder they lost if Bec was prototyped
BROOOOOOO
VRISKA YOU LITTLE BITCH
Oh no, Wandering vagabond! Not the caps lock!
JOHN EVERYTHING IS ON FIRE NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE SIMPING FOR NICK CAGE
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i do like homestuck^2!
it has some issues with pacing (really wish they'd invested in a timeskip or two), and some of the latter updates aren't quite up to snuff, but it absolutely does not get the credit it deserves. yiffy is a fucking icon. all the character designs in the candy timeline especially are spectacular. dirk, terezi, and rosebot on deltritus were a DELIGHT and i'm so damn mad we didn't get to see more of what they were building up to there. all the bonus stories are great. the dynamic between jade and alt!callie in the meat timeline was fantastic (the chocolate!!!). BIG BOSS KARKAT
i love john putting on his old godtier outfit and finding that it no longer fits. absolutely underrated setup for the june arc. godtier clothes are supposed to be magically perfect for you no matter what! what could this possibly mean?!?!
hs^2 was a beautiful and flawed project that, in retrospect, was almost certainly doomed to fail both from the fandom side and from the company side. but its format and setups were a big inspiration for me in continuing godfeels beyond the end of 2.3, and remain the blueprint for much of 3.2's structure to this day. the scene where vriska gets shot and kills a bunch of cops and journalists in the form of non-visual chapter of exclusively prose was stupidly controversial at the time ("THIS SHOULD BE A [S] PAGE" cried the very haters who pilloried andrew hussie for exploiting unpaid/underpaid fan labor in producing homestuck's many [S] pages), but it's the only reason at all i had the guts to make [S] saturday the centerpiece of chapter 8. if i hadn't been digesting that scene for nearly two years, probably the whole ending of 3.1 would have been completely different and likely much worse.
it's hard to recommend hs2 because it is, of course, on perpetual hiatus and very unlikely to see itself concluded. what's there is good but it's undeniably mostly setup for a story that isn't on the page yet, which is such a shame. nevertheless, it and the epilogues are essential reading if you wish to understand the postcanon era in any meaningful sense, and if absolutely nothing else they're a fantastic springboard for developing entirely different postcanon fanworks of your very own
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tell me about Fez, please, im looking through your blog and like, i am intrigued
please click read more for an unskippable cutscene
ALRIGHT SO.
FEZ is an indie game created by a (now hated on the internet) guy called Phil Fish. If you wanna find out why he's hated do your own research this isn't about him it's about his videogame
It came out on april 13th of 2012 (yes. homestuck day. i know), and it sold over a million copies by the end of 2013. I've tried finding how many copies have been sold up to this day in total but didn't find anything, but the general gist is that it was pretty much an instant hit, and people absolutely loved it, working together to solve its intricate puzzles even to this day. Yes, there are mysteries hidden in here that an entire community of dedicated fans still hasn't found the solution to 11 years later
(tiny warning here, do not play this game if you have motion sickness or are severely affected by rapidly changing images, there are whole areas that are a doozy to play through. Please stay safe!)
Gameplay
Fez has a singular core mechanic that remains unchanging throughout the entire course of the game, and that is the ability to change perspectives
this is what the game looks like, a 2d pixelated landscape with tons of beautiful colors
but.
this is what the game also looks like
that's right, baby, this shit's actually in 3d
you use this change of perspective nonstop throughout your adventure, to cross gaps like demonstrated in the gif, or to simply access places you couldn't in that current perspective. There are other tiny mechanics that get added, like invisible platforms, crates and buttons, bombs, timed platforms that disappear... they add a bit of flavor, but the main mechanic is always there
There's also a really big emphasis on puzzles towards the latter half of the game, but I'll get more into it later
Story motivations
Your name is Gomez, you are a tiny little guy living in a cozy 2d village that you have never ever left. One day, an old man named Geezer sends you a letter asking you to climb to the top of the village. There, a giant fucking cube appears outta nowhere, teleports you to a satanic ritual, then to the vaccum of space, speaks to you in a strange language you cannot understand, and gives you a free hat. Oh and also he explodes or something
After you're given the hat, the fez, you discover that the world is actually in 3d, and you can now change perspectives. You unlock the core mechanic
After that, you wake up in your room with the fez still on your head, and a being in 4d called Dot is sent from who knows where to tell you that the cube that gave you the hat is called Hexahedron, is actually technically kinda god, and you fucking killed him. Now, your mission is to pick up its 64 pieces and reconstruct him
You see all those tiny golden cubes? You have to collect 8 of them to make a bigger cube, and you need to collect 32 of those
Now hold on, I hear you ask, didn't you just say that you need to collect 64 pieces? Why are you changing your mind and saying 32?
Because, my dear friend, there is another type of cube that you have to also collect
These are called anticubes. Y'know, "a negative for every positive" type of stuff. You have to also collect 32 of those
The main difference between an anticube and a normal cube is that they aren't broken into 8 pieces, when you find one it'll be whole. You can also sometimes encounter full golden cubes btw, but they're rarer than its normal tiny pieces that you collect. Another main difference is that these cubes are much, much harder to find, and I'll go into detail in the next section
There's also this one hub area, with four doors that will only open once you have enough cubes (anticubes also count)
Once you open the door with 16 cubes, you'll enter this one town filled with people that aren't quite like you. In there there's yet another door that will open when you get 32 cubes, so get to gathering motherfucker, you got a long way ahead of you
Puzzles (anticube edition)
When you collect that first anti cube, there is no going back. The floodgates have opened and you are now too deep in. You know too much. You must see this to the very end, for better and especially for the worse
The puzzles in fez are actually surprisingly varied when it comes to difficulty and accessibility. Most likely, the first anticube you'll find will be in this one room. You'll scan the qr code and do the instructions it says, and then the horror of your new life will begin
But this is just the tip of the iceberg, because BOY OH BOY are anticubes convoluted to find in some cases
Sometimes you'll get them by solving relatively easy puzzles, like this one
others will require a bit more thinking, like this one
and then we have the hardest ones where you'll have to learn how to read words, numbers, and commands in the FEZ language
and these arent even the hardest bullshit puzzles the game will pull at you. it gets worse. it gets so much worse
Game ending
Surprisingly enough, you can get a game ending with just 32 cubes. In fact, it is literally impossible to get the 64 cube ending without the 32 cube one unless you have outside help, you know the answer to all puzzles, or you somehow get extremely lucky in a very specific number of rooms
Behind the 32 cube door there's a giant gate that, and I shit you not, teleports you into fucking space
Aliens are canon in the fez lore and they look like squids
Once you reach the top of the alien temple fucking thing, you enter an eye(?) and there you meet the shell of god, the Hexahedron. Since you haven't gathered all 64 cubes, it fails to reconstruct, and it breaks down. This part is pretty dangerous for people with epilepsy, by the way, as there's rapidly changing black and white colors. The 64 cube ending is a bit easier in the eyes, but yeah, just a heads up
In the 32 cube ending, you get sent back home, and you see how the town gets more and more pixelated. Then you see a weird sequence that's like those videos of people really zooming in into things and you see the particles and microscopic stuff?? idk. and then you see Gomez playing the drums :D
After that, you wake up in your room, still with your Fez, and the same sequence at the start of the game plays out. You go to the top of the village, Geezer summons a giant fucking cube, you meet god, but instead of getting another fez, you get cool glasses, that allow you to finally solve a batch of puzzles you couldn't see before and you can finally gather the last anticubes
In the 64 cube ending, the Hexahedron reforms correctly, and instead of zooming in, it zooms out. You see that your world is a tiny cube next to many tiny cubes, and then those tiny cubes form a 4d entity that looks just like Dot, and then those many Dots next to eachother zoom out until they're nothing but static, and then it looks like a tv is turned off, and then the credits roll
They're both very strange endings, and definitely not what a lot of players expected or wanted, but what can you do
Puzzles (hell edition)
NOW.
You thought that was the end?
You thought you could simply walk away scot free?
You thought that this game had no more last "fuck you"s up in its arse?
You thought fucking wrong
Because you know that something's not right
Because you're in too deep
You've played this far. You've scrolled this far.
You have to see how this ends
You have to tie up the last loose ends
You see this? This is the game's map. It actually has a really clever design! Not only are the icons for the areas cubes, but you can also change perspectives like how you do in-game! Pretty cool, right? There are also some small indicators you can see on the bottom left. They mark if you've left any cubes, bits, treasures, or locked doors. They also mark any secrets you might have left! And they turn golden once you've found everything there is in that room, including secrets
If you were normal (let's imagine that for a bit, okay?) and you got the 64 cube ending, that's it, right? You've gathered every cube, you've gathered every map (you need them to get all cubes), you've gotten every key and opened every locked door, that should be it, right? You have everything the game asked you to have, so the whole map should be golden, right?
...right?
No! :D you fucking fool, you poor summer child
In fact, there are three rooms left. Three rooms left with a secret symbol next to them, and one other special room
First, we'll talk about the special room
Once you gather 64 cubes, you'll be able to open a door hidden on an unsuspecting island and access this one special room
kinda weird, right? It has a tileset that appears nowhere else in the game, same with its background. There's also a strange transparent heart over it? Strange
Now, the three ungolden rooms
First, the observatory, the room with the easiest puzzle, at least in comparison with the other two
Second, you have whatever the fuck this is. In order to solve this one, you HAVE to know the Fez language, no ifs or buts. Not only that, but there's a high chance that you were reading the language the wrong way, so in order to have the remote chance to solve this mf you'll have to git gud and realise the error of your ways
And last, but definitely not least
The most infamous room in the entire game aside from maybe the heart room previously shown
This cunt
These three are the hardest challenges the game has to offer, no exaggeration. And also, the first two rooms can be solved at any point of your adventure, but for the third one you HAVE to have completed the 32 cube ending, no workarounds
Now, how to solve them?
If you go to the observatory at night, you'll notice two red blinking stars in the corner. They're speaking in binary code, with one being 1 and the other being 0. Then, that binary has to be translated into a buncha diff languages to be decoded, and once you're done you'll be left with a set of commands that you'll enter in the observatory to get a special red cube that not even Dot, the motherfucker in 4 dimensions that knows things beyond our comprehension, knows what it is
For the second room in fez language, you'll need to answer a question with the cubes provided to you. It's a weird thing where you have to mix this word with the name of the company who made the game, I don't know man. Once you've answered you'll get the second red cube
And now, the third room
Commonly denominated the black monolith room
Why is there no black monolith?
Because you have to make it appear
First, you have to get this burnt map
Behind it, there's a string of code that translates into commands
You need to get into the room, and use the special ability given to you in the 32 cube ending: first perspective mode
You'll have to stand in the tiny square inside this infinity symbol thing that doesn't have a line in it (basically, not the one the screenshot is looking at lol), and then you'll have to do the commands
Once you do it, the black monolith will appear
Okay, you did it
You put the code correctly
Now what?
This isn't a collectable. This isn't a red cube. This doesn't do anything. What is this? How do I solve this puzzle
You wanna know the answer?
Who fucking knows
No one knows the answer to this. No one knows how to solve this. The community solved this a week after launch by bruteforcing it. I shit you not they made a bot that spewed random fez inputs and people just tried them until they got the correct solution
No one knows how it's meant to be solved. To this day, people still go on the r/fez subreddit to give their theories on what the intended solution was meant to be
They have tried everything
The position of the candles, the boiler room, some other random ass rooms that look remotely similar to the black monolith room, a random shower room, it somehow being on a book in the game that's just filled with haikus??, some bullshittery mobius strip mental gymnastics, the other half of the code being in an abandoned airport in Arizona...
...whatever the fuck this is...
by far the most known theory was the release date theory
but that got disproven by one of the devs a few years ago
but anyways, we've already gone through insanity for long enough, it's time to be normal now
Once you've gathered all of the red pieces, they will appear in the heart room
that's it
we're done
.
..
...
....almost
there's a secret code
one that was actually intended to be datamined for once lmao
If you look at certain artifacts in the menu and you rotate them a certain way in a certain order, the heart will vanish and the screen will turn white
you'll be sent back to the menu, and if you load that save file and go back into the temple...
there will be nothing waiting for you there
that, my friend, is the true end of Fez
You wanted to know too much, you wanted to learn everything, to the point of wanting to tear open a creation that took blood, sweat, tears, and five years to complete. And now there is nothing. You ignored the game's boundaries of only wanting to let you know this much, and now the game is empty, the love is gone, and there is nothing left for you here
You can leave now, I hope you're satisfied
#ask#ace#long post#fez#fez videogame#fez game#i went very overboard lol#i love this game so much man#fez video game#heho i hope you enjoyed this lighthearted ramble#i promise you it could be worse#nathan's notes
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i jumped on the Walking Dead train really late, but i got to finish the show with the fans and i thought it was excellent. it also marks the second or third time i've binged a piece of acclaimed media that became noteworthy for fucking over its fans - the last time was when i beat the mass effect trilogy, a decade late. i thought that was excellent too.
of course it's a lot easier when the game you're playing already has the patched-in ending option and all its DLC, and walking dead was definitely easier to get through since when season 5 ended, i could go right into season 6 without The Cliffhanger
it's clear that the show i watched wasn't the show that AMC presented. scrubbed of its social media gaffes and godawful pacing, it was honestly a thrill ride. it takes a little time to stumble its way through the first two seasons, and the third is definitely more of a slow burn of dread, but if you can punch your way through those you're rewarded with a tense thriller that rarely wastes its time - every scene demands your attention and reveals something new. the moment my life settles down again i want to binge-watch it all over again with a friend.
in my early/mid twenties, i'd fallen in love with an artsy little tech-fetishist webcomic about a few kids struggling to avert the end of the world. you might have heard of it, it was called Homestuck. it would go on to balloon into a very different sort of work from the one it began (i miss the Amiga graphics and quotes from poets/novelists), but also it was the first time i looked around to realize i was in the middle of a fandom. and in those days it wasn't a lovely sight.
my problem was i hadn't been inoculated against this sort of thing yet. from the moment i discovered the MSPA forums, it was impossible for me to experience homestuck without also crossing over to get a life feed of how the fans were enjoying it, and that was uhh, complicated. i have a lot i could say about Andrew Hussie as a creator and maybe one day he'll get his very own rambling not-quite-essay from me, but i maintain that i didn't get to enjoy Homestuck the way it deserved because i am the sort of person whose opinions can be influenced by others. you are too, don't judge.
i hold fast to my conviction that the best way to enjoy something is to enjoy it pure and alone, or with at most perhaps two friends whose tastes you can trust. all too often i've seen people try to make it through the walking dead, or better call saul, or mass effect, or homestuck, or anything, while tapped into the overwhelming torrent of fandom opinion.
it actually makes things worse.
as the internet is fond of saying: the walking dead was a hell of a lot better without a bitch in my ear telling me it sucked.
there's a lot to say about how they reused the same ol' same ol' plot: zombos force the crew to move, they get settled in, then they solve some zombo-related problems until the newest batch of Desperate And/Or Corrupt And/Or Treacherous Humans comes to prove that actually we were the monsters all along
except it's fucking dope? they bare-knuckle brawl a shitload of walkers in a prison and take it over? and then they fight a war with the neighboring town??
Terminus, to me, is a singular point in the show that stands out in my mind. it was the moment i was like "oh shit. i think actually like this show." nevermind the way they began cranking up the horror factor (watching them slit that guy's throat in the horse trough was wild), but then Carol shows up and fucking Judge Dredds the place?
and then we see Rick turn from do-gooder cop to feral den mother who is willing to rip a guy's throat out and fjksdhgfjkhgjkhg oh my GOD how did you people not like this show
and then:
it was genuinely incredible watching Rick's role in the universe transform. we see him as an agent who is only ever acted upon: first by the emergence of walkers, then by a revolving door of people he can't trust, people he shouldn't trust but does, and people who have a funny way of doing the right thing just when you expect them to fail you the most.
but it's no way to live a life after the world has ended, and he has to get tough. his role changes, quite quickly, from agent to actor, and now he is the one with the control. he's the one sniffing out your bullshit, doing that unhinged lupine head-cock of his, and sending you to hell at the end of a colt python.
maybe if i was a man, i'd feel a little of what the fans seemed to have felt when Negan showed up. maybe i would have put myself in Rick's place, and found a little vicarious pleasure in the feeling of being a respected leader, building a new home with my bare hands; maybe i would have experienced disappointment or defeat or whatever the moment a bigger guy with a bigger gun shows up.
but what i saw was a hornet's nest being stirred; the natural reaction of a world much bigger than you just when you've begun to think you might control some of it. negan wasn't some Bigger Guy, he was a symbol, a walking metaphor for how things are always going to go when men like rick try to purchase peace with violence. if it wasn't Negan it was going to be someone else. i adamantly believe the fans hated negan because negan was holding up a mirror to them.
when i go on about this show, i genuinely do love all of it (even the nightmarishly slow seasons 9 and 10), but the images in my head all come from season 5, especially when they raid the hospital back in the city. the walking dead does not disappoint with aesthetics. the sets were phenomenal.
long, dramatic shots of broken chain link fences, sun-baked highways, half-abandoned urban streets with boarded windows and nothing left but graffiti. honestly feels a little like my childhood. i'm an urbex bitch at heart and i never wanted ANYTHING so desperately as the chance to get in there with Carol and Aaron and Maggie et al, and go plumbing the tombs of Atlanta for rocket launchers and medicine.
and while i never want to see backroads or quaint country towns ever again in my life, i won't deny that the backdrops of rural georgia and virginia gave the walking dead a unique visual language, a kind of run-down western vibe that really helped cement the feeling that these were just regular salt-of-the-earth people, forced to do extraordinary things. most of my dreams now usually have the same hickory and pine trees that dotted the countrysides.
i don't really know what i was trying to accomplish when i began this post (it's the only way i know how to write baby!) but to summarize, i fucking loved this show. i genuinely hold it to be one of the seminal works of modern zombie horror and also just an incredibly good survival soap opera about what it means to be alive in a world that has violently rejected you. i'm genuinely glad i gave it a chance and i'm so grateful my brother recommended it to me. i love you, bro.
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karkat pov liveblog: hivebent, part 1
we begin in a lab on a meteor in the furthest ring.
computer enhance.
look at all those little goobers! i am not replaying this whole flash just for this moment but in lieu of that, here's hussie's commentary on the scene from the book, just for a bit of spice.
as far as i can tell, karkat's first chronological appearance in hivebent is 2177.
vriska has just jumped tavros off a cliff, and he chooses to message karkat about it. im not sure what he hoped to get out of this since karkats only reply is characteristically snappy.
we then jump to 2025. karkat is messing around with some .~ATH files. in the middle of examining the mobius double reacharound virus (titled check_thii2_2hiit_out.~ATH), he gets trolled by its author. hello sollux.
CG: SO YOU MADE THIS GAME?
TA: no no.
TA: more liike ii adapted iit.
CG: FROM WHAT.
TA: 2ome crazy technology AA dug out of 2ome ruiin2.
TA: havent you talked two her about iit?
CG: MAN, NO.
CG: I CAN'T TALK TO HER, SHE'S SO SPOOKY.
we start talking about the game that will take up the rest of karkats story, and get a hint about this mysterious "AA."
he then hears crabdad complaining, and chooses to put this off...long enough to introduce himself, i guess.
karkat's introduction is 1992, written in a way directly referencing john's introduction.
Earth, also for convenient reference, is a planet that does not yet exist.
see how we are doing this? logical! earth doesnt exist yet, so of course we arent starting with the humans!
homestuck does not want me to read it chronologically. it is doing everything possible to stop me from reading it chronologically.
This game, for convenient reference, is a game that DOES NOT YET EXIST.
please. please let me obey chronology.
Later on, you would swap your modus with your hacker friend, a guy who unlike you happens to be competent with programming. It would only make sense.
i thought i would embark on this quest and find its purpose along my way. that purpose, it seems so far, is to acknowledge just how stupid this chronology is.
It is your sixth wriggling day, and as with all five preceding it blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.
yeah i was about to say something like that. that being that i wont have much to say so long as the plot remains linear.
It figures that installing this new beta chat client would open the floodgates
i always forget that trollian was brand new when hivebent starts. i wonder what they used to message each other before then?
speaking of which, his first pesterlog after his introduction is page 2010, with gamzee. its kinda sad how mean karkat is to a lot of his friends tbh.
TC: iSn'T sOmEtHiNg BiG aLl GoInG dOwN?
CG: WHAT?
TC: i HeArD sOmEtHiNg bIg WaS gOiNg AlL dOwN.
TC: JuSt AlL bE tElLiNg Me AlL wHaT mOtHeRfUcKiN iT's Up AnD aLl AbOuT.
CG: STOP SAYING ALL. ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT TA'S THING?
TC: yEaH!! fUcK yEaH mAn, So MyStErIoUs.
TC: I'm NeVeR bEiNg GeTtInG cEaSeD tO bE aMaZeD bY aLl ThEsE fUcKiN mYsTeRiEs LiFe'S gOt FoR uS.
CG: UUUUUUGH.
CG: ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S UP WITH THAT.
CG: MAYBE I'LL TALK TO HIM TONIGHT ABOUT IT. MAYBE I WON'T.
CG: IT'S PROBABLY JUST ANOTHER ONE OF HIS PROJECTS THAT WINDS UP BEING COMPLETELY USELESS AND A HUGE WASTE OF MY TIME.
(apologies if the text is hard to read on dark mode. i use cyber theme myself and cant see a word gamzee says here)
according to the pov cam, the next page karkat is on chronologically is 2058. the great team divide / team leader argument of hivebent has officially begun, with karkat and terezi. and in the end, it wont even matter at all. lmao.
CG: OK WELL
CG: SPEAKING OF THAT
CG: I SHOULD GO DOWNSTAIRS AND DEAL WITH THIS GRUMPY CUSTOMER.
CG: IT'S GOING TO FONDLE MAJOR SEEDFLAP, BUT HOPEFULLY IT'LL BE QUICK.
CG: YOU CAN ESTABLISH YOUR CONNECTION AND DO YOUR TRIVIAL SIDEKICK STUFF I GUESS IN THE MEANTIME.
GC: OK! >:D
and apparently karkat intends to deal with his quite grumpy crabdad at the end of this conversation.
but then his computer explodes.
interesting. sburb equipment already? i suppose he was right:
CG: TEREZI AND I HAVE ALREADY ESTABLISHED A CONNECTION AND WE ARE MAKING GREAT PROGRESS HERE.
CG: WE ARE A GREAT TEAM, AND I AM A FANTASTIC LEADER.
welp. guess he didnt have to deal with him after all. although the drawing on the fridge is very cute.
terezi has continued to make progress on his hive...
and he gets his new weapon...
only to find his toilet detached from its fixings.
GC: 1M YOUR S3RV3R PL4Y3R SO PR1OR1TY H4S TO B3 ON M3 G3TT1NG 1N TH3 G4M3
GC: B3FOR3 1 G3T K1LL3D BY M3T3ORS
GC: 1N WH1CH C4S3 YOUD B3 SCR3W3D 1N TH3R3
GC: TH3N TH3 N3XT GUY COM3S 1N, TH3N TH3 N3XT
GC: 4ND YOU BR1NG TH3 L4ST ON3 1N
CG: WHOA WAIT, WHAT?
CG: METEORS?
CG: WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT.
CG: WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH METEORS.
GC: OH BOY YOU N33D TO G3T W1TH TH3 PROGR4M K4RK4T
karkat, i think you are a bit behind on what this game is going to be like. yet you are already on your planet despite that!
i gotta go now but ill be back
#liveblog#pov: karkat#hivebent#hivebent: karkat#idk tagging system so far#homestuck liveblog#homestuck#karkat vantas
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Arc I absolutely do not want to interrupt your MI kick as I am enjoying it deeply but I finally finished reading SWDKTOWL and I need to scream about.... all of it honestly. I have not read homestuck but the way you write them makes me want to and also makes me deeply sure I will be disappointed with the source material.
Also I know you are like patron Saint of glass animals and fucked up (deeply affectionate) dirkjake vibes, so can we talk about how Tangerine is thee song for KTOWL dirkjake?
oh don't worry, no one can interrupt my MI kick, least of all me or you. it will run its course like a fever.
SEE I THINK Homestuck is good actually. I think it's very good. I tend to write adult versions of the characters when the canon is about 13 and then 16 year olds, but you should give HS a shot! Go grab the Unofficial Collection!
fun fact, i called up Glass Animals the other day and was like "hey is the dreamland album about Jake English?" and they were like "omg yeah how'd you know?" because almost every song on that fucking album is just excerpts from Jake's autobiography.
"Tangerine" is def the most KTOWLy tho for sure.
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ur davejade posting has me Remembering and goddddd. theyre so good. thank u
i want to make a davejade analysis masterpost but the funniest thing with these asks is that theyre the ones that really prompt me to put my thoughts together in some direction and i ALWAYS find a new implication or connection to talk about. like while i’m writing the connections will just make themselves known. if i made a masterpost i’d have to update it every time i think of something new which defeats the purpose of a masterpost because it’d never be finished. so i just like to spitball into separate posts and just shove them in my davejade tag. i was NOT expecting to get back into homestuck with davejade at the forefront but i can see things now i didnt then
im gonna go off again because it’s so obvious to me on this jumpy scrambled “reread” that dave has a fat fucking heart-on / affection erection for jade. hes tryin soo hard to be cool but hes like this with jade actually behind the screen and she knows it
words and deeds of a court jester dude who totally has a crush on his childhood internet friend and doesnt acknowledge it (btw this is woefully incomplete for the sake of brevity but i could elaborate in another post. i actually have a draft (edit: posted) with a shit ton of more analysis stuff in it on why he acts differently with her than other characters):
the next day (chronologically) when jade messages him:
hussie commentary: “Dave's one-pixel-smile there means that there are literally more than ten thousand drawings on the internet of Dave and Jade kissing. That pixel literally made that happen.”
i mean … it sure is easy to assume how he feels about jade based on the way he talks to her and when his sprite only ever smiles one other time in the entire fucking comic and the reality of that other one was arguable since it was during [S] Karkat: Mental breakdown and its likely karkat was hallucinating it based on the content and context of the flash
nah this one was real. and it was from the first conversation we saw between dave and jade in the comic and thus set the standard for their dynamic. and remember old school 2009 dave was kind of a menace so it says a lot
this girl was special enough to him to warrant that pixel
jade calling dave a “huge baby” for him getting nervous about a piss while she’s his server player. he makes such a big deal about it while shes like oh my god just go:
and the absurdity of the situation being one of his favorite memories
i know pesterquest isn’t “canon” canon but it passes my character essence check and still contributes something of substance to my argument. like i can say this is not at all out of place if these characters were plopped into these scenarios. remember this takes place on the same day as the above, 4/13/2009. theyre the same age as above and have the same relationship as they did above, just in a different scenario that wasn’t possible in canon wherein they didn’t play sburb
Jade wanders away from that window and toward another one, whose view is exclusively centered on the rolling blue. She presses a hand against the misty pane and sighs.
JADE: you know, dave talks a lot about coming to visit me here. i mean, all of my friends do but dave especially
JADE: in his usual davey way of course, which means making lots of jokes and not sounding very serious about it
JADE: "yeah im itching to put on my safari hat and come traipsing down to doomdeath archipelago to get my ass murdered by infinidog the eldritch retriever," stuff like that
JADE: i know he really means it though! he wants to see me, just like i want to see him
JADE: but its just wishful thinking
anyway daves reaction to seeing his isolated online friend for the first time irl cry because she has guests. its even better with the character sprites
JADE: we can play with all my toys and jam out to some music and stay up all night chatting with each other and oh my god oh my god youre here youre all here this is really happening!!!!!
Jade's next laugh verges on hysterical and she's got tears streaked down her cheeks. Dave looks a little perturbed.
DAVE: wow holy shit uh
DAVE: its cool jade no need to get so
DAVE: like this
DAVE: kind of fucks me up seeing you cry
DAVE: not that im trying to make this all about me
DAVE: i mean uh
and so after mspa reader’s intervention, who do we see with jade the next time we see her?
dave. and hes goofing with her squiddles while grinning
DAVE: okay so lets see what we got here
Jade's room is bright and cheery, fresh flowers in the hanging pots, curtains pulled open wide to let in the afternoon sunlight. Jade sits on her bed while Dave paces in front of a line of squiddle toys, carefully assembled in neat ranks.
DAVE: this blue one is clearly in charge look at his dominant posture
DAVE: also hes the only motherfucker not tentacle deep in his homie
DAVE: hes an untangled buddy that is some shit really cuts to the core of like
DAVE:
DAVE: emotions
JADE: its actually because the magnets in him are messed up, and always have been!!
DAVE: harley you are ruining the magic come on
basically what im putting together is that dave was REALLY fixin to spend some time with jade. extending into her sphere of interests that he doesnt express much with anyone else; you can tell he really wanted to engage with her in a less irony poisoned way. he’s softer with her than his other friends and god forbid the trolls, he is much less skeptical about things when talking to her (he even questions why he just seems to go along with her eccentric precognitive statements but he doesnt change his attitude about it), he showers her with his music and raps to the point where jade is expectant of getting poetry from him. rap IS poetry. please realize that dave is sending her his poetry, regardless of how goofy it may be. this is the level on which im viewing this at and once you realize this theres no going back. there comes a time in every homestuck’s life where they have to see how dave interacted jade and conclude that he had a cute little puppy crush on her unbeknownst to either of them. and it was adorable. and now, in the year 2023, it’s your time to realize this too. no going back.
and btw it all came back around…………………nimblest son of a bitch who had the gumption to glue a nasty pair of latex cat lips to his face
for a reason that wasnt a joke anymore
don’t think ive seen anyone talk about this parallel at the end to one of their first conversations in the comic. maybe somebody did back in the day but i never saw it
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