You know, capitalism is another one of those words that sadly is like problematic in that it's functionally useless because people just toss it out and then everyone gets so hung up debating the meaning of the word capitalism that the whole point is lost

That's why I don't ever really use it. It doesn't really matter if it's capitalism or if it's cronyism or... whatever, I think it's bad when companies make record profits while prices go up up up

I think there's probably an issue and it probably needs to be solved (and I'm afraid you can't convince me less regulation is a magic bullet)

I like currency and exchanging currency because it seems like a good way of moving goods and labor around, but I also strongly support welfare and think that any group of more than 50 people is probably starting to get corrupt

Don't trust the government, but sure as hell don't trust corps...

I don't know, my original point is that sadly capitalism gets tossed around too much to mean anything anymore... but I just see too many argumentative people online so I'm tossing out my stances to avoid getting side tracked debating what I mean

What I really really mean is just fucking say what you're saying and don't bother saying capitalism cause you'll just make people argue and miss your point

I’ll be honest here it baffles me that people actually take Rhaenyra’s “sharply questioned” line as her literally wanting Aemond to be tortured because it was always SO OBVIOUS that’s she’s just making smart choice of words to provoke Alicent and get her out of control. Rhaenyra is very clearly and cleverly trying to bait Alicent into admitting that it’s her that’s been spreading the rumours. But Alicent is a selfish coward so she let her sons take the fall for it.

In what world people actually think that Show!Rhaenyra would wish for a child to be tortured ? Like, y’all can’t be serious this doesn’t fit her character at all, soft girl did nothing when Aemond openly mocked and beat her sons in front of her during the dinner scene in ep8, she’s so obviously just manipulating the situation to her side by making Alicent physically & mentally lose her composture.

And Alicent fell in Rhaenyra’s trap like an idiot, Viserys gave her a chance to say a suitable punishment but she was already so blinded with hatred, resentment and rage that she choose something he would NEVER grant, Viserys is weak-willed but he’s not insane nor cruel, same way he wouldn’t torture his son he also wouldn’t take his grandson’s eye.

That was literally Alicent’s chance, she was given the chance to speak, imagine if she hadn’t fallen for Rhaenyra’s bait and had given in front of the whole court a speech similar to her “to have three is a insult” on ep6, even Viserys wouldn’t be able to mend things. Alicent turned a huge win for her “these bastard children are bullies, savages and animals” agenda into an humiliating political loss because people will only remember she was a psycho charging at a 6-year-old child with a dagger trying to gouge his eye out/murder him.

You:

because it was always SO OBVIOUS that’s she’s just making smart choice of words to provoke Alicent and get her out of control. Rhaenyra is very clearly and cleverly trying to bait Alicent into admitting that it’s her that’s been spreading the rumours.

I never really thought of her specifically using these words to provoke Alicent's mother-protectiveness...hmm. I always thought of it as her trying to place emphasis or provoke Viserys into being more "strict" ore relentless in his verbal interrogation of Aemond, bc she's placing emphasis on how serious the act of bastard-calling she labels as a crime to necessitate that relentless searching. I suppose it could be both.

You:

soft girl did nothing when Aemond openly mocked and beat her sons in front of her during the dinner scene in ep8,

I mean, there wasn't much she herself--pregnant--could do besides keep him in her eyeline and have others separate the two. I would have preferred at least an angrier expression from Rhaenyra or some sort of slip up where she forgets she's pregnant and then Daemon stepping in. But perhaps that's my inner drama babe popping out and my desire for what I think the canon!Rhaenyra would have likely done if that scene happened in canon Westerosi history (in the book, it said that they came close but the tension never broke into an actual fight and no punches were thrown). Plus I'd have liked more shouting from both sides, but we got what we got 🙄.; the purposeful rewriting and dilution of a woman who more often than not would cause just a little bit more "noise" and was more expressive as she asserted herself.

Key words...."never forgot a slight". Yes, women absolutely could be this way and still be a "good" or "ethically ambiguous" instead of a "amoral" or "bad" actor.

We could say "not all women", or "most women wouldn't have put themselves at risk" like that. These are true. It's just that with bk!Rhaenyra, the likelihood that, as I said, she'd "forget" in her suppressed rage...it's likelier she would have.

You:

Viserys gave her a chance to say a suitable punishment but she was already so blinded with hatred, resentment and rage that she choose something he would NEVER grant

This is Viserys' dialogue with Alicent:

Viserys: This interminable infighting must cease! All of you! We are family! Now make your apologies and show good will to one another. Your father, your grandsire, your king demands it! Alicent: That is insufficient. Aemond has been damaged, permanently, my king. “Good will” cannot make him whole. Viserys: I know, Alicent, but I cannot restore his eye. Alicent: No, because it’s been taken. Viserys: What would you have me do? Alicent: There is a debt to be paid. I shall have one of her son’s eyes in return. Viserys: My dear wife. Alicent: He is your son, Viserys. Your blood. Viserys: Do not... allow your temper to guide your judgment. Alicent: If the King will not seek justice, the Queen will. Ser Criston... bring me the eye of Lucerys Velaryon. Lucerys: Mother! Viserys: Alicent. Alicent: He can choose which eye to keep, a privilege he did not grant my son. Viserys: You will do no such thing. (to Criston) Stay your hand. Alicent: No, you are sworn to me! Criston: As your protector, my queen. Viserys: Alicent, this matter... is finished. Do you understand? And let it be known, anyone whose tongue dares to question the birth of Princess Rhaenyra's sons should have it removed. Rhaenyra: Thank you, Father. [Alicent attacks Rhaenyra]

This is the fuller script.

Actually Viserys never gave her a chance to "choose" a punishment. A huge part of Alicent's frustration boiling to her taking the knife is how little (really no) choice Viserys allows her to get any sort of payback. Throughout this scene, they are arguing about how he's not inflicting any punishment for her sons' sake AND she's trying to get one to be implemented in the first place. You can't choose a punishment that wasn't a granted as an option in the first place. Her decision to try to take out one of Lucerys' eyes comes from her own refusal to accept Viserys' action-less/not giving her option of retaliation.

Ironically, the scene does indicate how little power she--even as the Queen Consort and mother to 4 of his living children--has under Viserys' authority when she cannot do much to protect her kids without facing some sort of censure herself. again, she's obviously wrong and Viserys was right to not punish those kids bc Aemond simply was the aggressor. Especially when he had already won, the boys and the girls were backing off, and he still re-raised the rock to bash in his nephew's head while calling them worthless bastards--triggering all their fight or flight responses. that and taking out an eye for Aemond's would have done nothing--esp under this context--for Aemond but to affirm the idea that he was not morally responsible for his own actions. Not that Viserys knew, but we know and we know the possible other consequences for if this didn't turn out the way it should have. And it would have left another child without an eye, further traumatized. Again, the only worth in that sort of "justice" is to satisfy the actual bad actors.

Still, it showed a shared experience for Consorts and noblewomen. Indicated something wrong in the system that they are in similar to how it was unfair for Rhaenyra to be expected to have heirs from a gay man, her probable choice in a husband denied, losing another to constant births for the high-valued male heir, etc. Her feelings are somewhat valid (bc, again, she is wrong about Rhaenyra possibly killing her kids if she becomes Queen or that lords will endanger her kids AND that Rhaenyra should strictly follow patriarchal principles of "duty" and "sacrifice") valid, but neither of her behavior nor her response were.

You:

imagine if she hadn’t fallen for Rhaenyra’s bait and had given in front of the whole court a speech similar to her “to have three is a insult” on ep6, even Viserys wouldn’t be able to mend things

I mean, bk!Alicent didn't do this either, bc she'd risk her own reputation taking a hit for being a "rowdy", too-vocal woman by so flagrantly bad mouthing the house she is married into and has "given" children to. Her loyalties to her husband's house is not considered a light, casual thing. I mentioned at least 2 Rhaenys-posts ago that Rhaenys could never expect House Velaryon to accept her as their head even if the greens ruled it bc there's too much that would go against her: Vaemond Velaryon; the fact that show!Corlys already named Luke his heir and Luke is male to her femaledom; she's not even part of the house's direct lineage by blood like Laena.

Remember that Alicent is trying to get Aegon "legitimately" named as Viserys' heir. For the King's wife to be criticizing the King's actions in front of the entire court would throw some reputation-degrade marks onto her kids, bc that's how the medieval-to early Tudor patriarchal world thought. Virginity, chastity, no sex outside for marriage exclusively for women...the idea was that if a women did "unwomanly", disobedient thing, she'd be hurting her children's prospects and those sex-related things I mentioned? It's all a way to restrict a woman's sexual activity by ruling that if she has affairs while already married, she'd be throwing doubt as to her children's paternity.

So she'd be risking of acting "treasonously". And Alicent simply isn't that type of woman nor can she reasonably expect to gain more than what she'd lose. She truly is that conservative/has bought into the patriarchy.

So, if I know my Mesa Island geography, we should be getting pretty close to Songshroom Marsh. Wonder if Yoyo's still hanging around here?

That's, uh... that's... not an ominous name or anything....

This place... doesn't seem quite as fun as Luana made it sound.

Okay, full disclosure, I was actually trying to drown myself in the mire because I want to tell Quarble about all the cool stuff I did.

But this is cool too. I guess the moral of the story is that sometimes attempted suicide comes with neat prizes. If they ever write a fable about all the things I learned on my travels, I'll be sure to include that.

Holy shit, the Magic Seashell? The one from Watcher Island that lets you breathe underwater?

Wait, no, I can already do that for some reason. Plus, it doesn't really look that cute. Luana said it was a cute pink clamshell thing. She was very excited about it. But this more resembles a slug.

That does sound like it relates to the magic Docarri shells, though. Hmm....

Yeah. Uh. What the hell happened to this place? Luana didn't like it very much but what she described pales in comparison to how tortured and gross the marsh is.

Also, she called it Songshroom but the sign at the entrance said Quillshroom. So. Obviously some changes have taken place.

Oh, is it the cool magic seashell I found? 'Cause I found it. You can't have it back. It's mine now, as laid down in the Mine Now, Fucko bylaw.

Primal Fear... fuck, I know that name. It's... somewhere. Maybe one of Teaks's stories? I don't know. I've heard it before. I know I've heard it before.

No, wait! It was one of the volumes of prophecy that Yoyo kept in her cabin. She had a book on Primal Fear. That's where I know the name from.

Is. That. Where the living mushrooms come from?

...Luana wrote about them singing. The ones I've seen have not been singing. I don't think they're enjoying their fungal lives anymore.

With gusto.

I can't believe you told me to fight it! Do you have any idea how humiliated I was!? That was the most embarrassing moment of my goddamn life.

And I once screwed up Cloudstep practice so hard I ended up dangling from a tree branch by my pants around my ankles. I met Quarble on a return trip through a challenge I'd already solved. So the competition is steep.

How many times have you sent members of my order to their graves to pick a fight with a harmless glowball minding his fucking business!?

FUCK. No wonder Luana called probably-you an assclown!

WHAT. NO. I don't really see much relevance or importance in your stories - I think the pear tree one might have been about Yoyo maybe? - but I've been enjoying them nonetheless.

I'll stop touching your cabinet if you keep sharing stories with me. ._. Pweese?

Oh, there's the singing mushrooms. Okay, so they are still here.

They. Uh. They don't look very cheerful, though. Luana said they were cheerful.

Gotta say, not a fan of the titular quillshrooms. Their quills are incredibly difficult to dodge, especially when they fire while I'm in midair. What total assholes.

As a botanophobe, I can't be surprised by this, but fungus is far more dangerous than turtles.

...how stupid do I feel like being today?

I am... passably competent at the Cloudstep. I think I could--

Okay, I want it on record that I actually made it, but was killed by a Quillshroom afterwards. After being thoroughly tenderized by spikes in the process of making it but that's beside the point. The point is I'm awesome and this is definitely going down as a W in my book.

Not important. What's important is HEY BESTIE, check out where we are? Yeah, that's right, I'm blazing trails through Quillshroom Marsh with my expert jumping and profound getting-stabbed proficiencies.

I know we were in Howling Grotto last we talked but I... found the exit of my own accord and nothing else happened. Now we're here. Trying to not be here as expediently as possible because I don't want to be a mushroom.

...

Why is this my life?

...we've found one secret path beneath the mire. I wonder... This does look very suspicious.

They thought they could hide their secrets from me. Joke's on them, I am highly skilled in observation and pattern recog--

I think I hate this place.

Do you have any OCs other than your Splatoon ones? I'd love to learn about them!

WAAA ‼️‼️ I do actually !! Though I have . quite a lot of them 💀💀

Other than Splatoon OCs I got uhh-- primarily D&D OCs/Characters, Homestuck OCs, and a few actual original characters JDHSFSD some of which I've doodled and posted about before !

I'll stick a few of em down in the read more so the post isn't immediately unbearably long 🗣️‼️

Hmm let's start off with some original characters

Evix (they/them) is one that I've actually been working a lot more on lately !! They're kinda like an undead creature and live on essentially a post-apocalyptic Earth centuries later (might make a whole separate post on all that eventually because they're a part of an original species I wanna make)

Uhh then some original humans (w/ powers ofc) would include Anthony (he/him, one of my oldest OCs creation wise, in short a traumatized young adult with horrible anxiety and is struggling to get thru life 🗣️), Raymond and his niece Raven ( he/him & she/her, victims of loss of a brother and father (respectively), and they live in a world where ppl have elemental-based abilities !), and uhh Kacey (they/she/he, specifically with a c-- they're a cyborg (lost an arm) with no recollection of who they were (calls themself Kacey because of initials "K.C" branded on their robo arm (it stands for their actual name, Katya Cameron)))💥

[unfortunately not gonna doodle any of my other OCs so Evix can have special treatment LMAO]

Next up we got uhh some D&D characters !! [Who actually I have Hero Forge figures of so I'll add those]

Starting off with the first legit D&D character I've made, Glow of the Sun (aka "Sun" - she/her) 😼 Tabaxi Druid (Circle of the Shepard)!! After escaping the massacre of her tribe in the forest, Sun was taken in and mentored by a human druid named Sage (they/them)

Another one I got would be Gale (he/they), who's more-so inspired by my first attempt at a D&D character (who then got scrapped). But basically he's an Air Genasi Warlock (Pact of the Tome) that was raised only by his father until he managed to contact his mother (who was a djinn (an air genie) !! so yea, his patron's his mom LMAO [His Hero Forge is outdated so please keep that in mind ☹️ ]

Lets see ermm I also got !! A Dragonborn Artificer (Battle Smith) named Kai (real name Kazys) Tempest (she/her). Paralyzed from the waist down upon . hatching? She was left to be raised by her mother, which left the little dragonborn spiteful to show that she isn't useless. So she learned and became someone who creates things like prosthetics and kinds of aids to help others who may need it :D

I'll then drop off a last D&D character for now (cuz I rlly do have a lot), but this one's a personal favorite !! Meet Bone (she/he/they/it [does not care]), my funny lil Goblin Barbarian (Path of the Beast) !! Abandoned by her tribe and miraculously raised by a pack of wolves, this feral lil goblin spends her days living a free and wild life while causing problems for adventurers and the like who cross her path :3

Anddd onto the final stretch, we got some Homestuck OCs !! [Which btw I have models made by Xamag's Fantroll Creator (which I also edited a lil) so ermm]

Starting off with my personal fav, here's Arvenii Traket (she/her, Sign: Gemun, Derse + Breath). Goldblood with telekinetic psiionics, this smart(-ish) lil gamer is a hot-headed, anti-social introvert that enjoys things like cosplaying and programming 💥💥

Obviously then gotta follow up with her moirail, Teikai Dregut (he/him, Sign: Lenius, Prospit + Hope) !? A very idiotic yet excitable Oliveblood that loves to run, talk, play tricks, and hang out with his bestie (they tend to take care of each other otherwise they'd constantly not do things like eat or shower 💀)

What else uuuhhhh . How 'bout I drop Raiiko Ekneer (she/her, Sign: Scoriborn, Derse + Rage) !? A laidback, prideful brute of a Ceruleanbloodthat enjoys FLARPing and taking people's treasure/valuables 💥💥 Fun fact tho !! She used to FLARP with Teikai back in the day (he doesn't play anymore). Anyway she doesn't really have many braincells yet she managed to score a kismesis and moirail LMAO

And then I think I'll drop off her kismesis cuz ngl I rlly wanted to show them together 😩but meet Valeri Krovet (she/her, Sign: Sagigo, Prospit + Space) !! This Indigoblood is yet another blue business woman who specializes and takes pride in creating custom weapons of high quality. Can be a little snappy, mainly due to agitation of being on high alert 24/7 (had a gnarly, violent experience when she was younger), but yea :3

What if I was also silly tho and dropped the rest of my main HS OCs' lil models (i would talk abt all of them in more detail but thats A LOT of text ,) 🥴🥴

I do also wanna mention that I have. Ancestors and Dancestors for these guys as well . AS WELL AS OCS THAT ARENT APART OF THE MAIN 12-- Thats a whole other thing tho

BUT YEAH THAT'S JUST. SOME OF WHAT I GOT-- TY ANON FOR THE ASK-

This took so long to type LMAO but I enjoyed it !!

Work Song | B.B.

Request: Have you ever heard work song by hozier? It gives me such bucky vibes 🥺 like imagine him waking up from a nightmare & singing it to calm him down

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.05k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I got carried away lol)

Warnings: Slight angst, fluff, bad singing (unless you can actually sing), Bucky being a big softy

My Masterlist

Notes: Anon you need to name yourself cause you obviously have good taste in music and I kinda want some moots on here. This song is so perfect for Bucky. I truly appreciate the suggestion, it gives me inspiration of what to write while procrastinating on works in progress <3

You were awoken when the sheets and comforter were yanked off of you, shocking you awake with the chill of the night air. You squinted your eyes open only to be faced with Bucky’s back as he was sat up in bed. You could see by the rhythmic curling of his spine that he was breathing fast and heavy, prompting you to sit up with him.

“Baby,” you groaned as you stretched your back and faced him, “you alright?”

His eyes stared forward, expressionless, until he snapped out of it and looked at you with a worried face. It was almost as if Bucky hadn’t even noticed you had sat up until he heard your voice. You wanted to kiss in between his eyebrows to smooth the lines that the furrow of them had formed. You leaned towards him and laid your hand on his back, feeling the expansion and deflation of his breathing, it had calmed a bit but you could feel the still rapid beating of his heart. He opened his mouth for a second, hesitating before releasing a breath and answering.

“Yeah, yeah. I’m okay. Sorry I woke you up. There's still a couple hours left before you have to get up, lay back down.” He said, motioning with his head towards your pillow. You simply shook your head and dragged your hand from his back up to his neck and around to his cheek. He leaned his head into your cupped palm, closing his eyes at the comfort your touch gave him.

“Can we cuddle then?” You asked, more for him than you. It was an unspoken declaration in the air of “you’re a terrible liar,” but by now in your relationship, Bucky knew that if he wanted to talk about his nightmares, you were always there and ready to listen. If he didn’t want to talk then you could at least try to get him back to sleep or calm his nerves.

He answered you with a nod. You grabbed his pillow and stacked it on top of your own, giving you a cushion to comfortably lay down with your back slightly elevated. He understood what to do and without hesitation crawled over to you and wrapped his arms around your torso, laying halfway on top of you and resting his cheek on the top of your breast, right over your heart. Both your bodies shifted a few times until they found the perfect interlock with each other, sinking down into the bed.

“Do you remember that song I showed you the other day, the one you said you really liked?” You didn’t know where you were trying to go with this conversation, but you figured that getting him sleepy again would be hard, so talking about whatever came to your head might help put him down. Bucky could feel the vibrations of your voice all throughout your chest. He wished in that moment that the two of you could stay like this forever, that he could feel your sweet voice like this for the rest of his life.

“The “take me to church” one?”

“Yeah, that one. The dude who sings that has another song I really love, it makes me think of you whenever I hear it.”

“What’s it called?” He mumbled weakly. You gave him a squeeze and continued.

“Work Song.”

“Hmm,” Bucky hummed against your chest, waiting a moment before speaking, “could you sing it for me, doll?”

“If you want, but I can’t promise it’ll sound pretty,” you answered with a breathy chuckle. You wanted to comfort Bucky, but you definitely weren’t a singer. It was difficult enough to be in tune with songs, you weren’t sure you could even manage with half his body resting on you.

“It doesn’t have to sound pretty, if you sing it it’ll be perfect. Please?”

It took Bucky a long time to be okay with asking for things and accepting that receiving favors didn’t equate to weakness. You knew that him asking you to do this for him was hard and you weren’t going to let him down.

“Alright.” You cleared your throat and breathed in before exhaling quickly, cutting the words out of your mouth as your brain tried to think of how the song goes.

“Well, it starts with a low piano note and this soft clap, and there's a harmony that goes ‘hmmm, hmm mmm’ and then another clap and ‘hmm mmm’,” you explained, emphasizing every clap with a light tap if your hand on his back. You looked down at him and lifted your other hand, weaving yo fingers through his hair to gently move back and forth over his scalp. You looked back up to the ceiling with your eyes open, imagining how the stars would look if the roof was gone.

“And that part goes on for a bit…” you said into the silence of the room. As you explained, Bucky had shifted his head to rest the underside of his chin flush against your chest and looked up at you. Due to the way your face looked up he couldn’t see it completely, but he could see how the light of the moon pouring into the room cast a glow across your cheekbones and jaw. He watched as you fumbled through the intro, trying to explain to him how the different sounds come together, and he swore you had never looked more beautiful.

He drank in the way the hums of the song rattled under his chin, how you would pause for a few moments trying to think of what came next in the song. He felt your heartbeat against his throat and the rise and fall of your chest with every breath you would take before letting out another hum. He was right, you could be singing any song and it would be perfect.

“And then he starts singing, he goes,” you took in a breath before singing.

“‘Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby

I'm so full of love I could barely eat’

“‘There's nothin' sweeter than my baby

I'd never want once from the cherry tree

'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me’.”

He noted how the corners of your mouth tilted upward at that last line. You weren’t singing it exactly as the song went, the melody was a bit off and the pitch was much lower than it was supposed to be, but Bucky felt like every word you sang floated out into the world, carrying its refreshing life and coolness into his soul.

“And then there's this really deep bass note that hits and then the chorus goes,

“‘When, my, time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her’.”

Bucky thought of how he always seemed to crawl back to you. For once, he didn’t feel guilty for his presence in your life. He relished in the feeling of having you under him, in the knowledge that of all the people in the world, you would let him crawl home to you. If he had to crawl to someone, he would thank any and all higher powers that it was you.

“And then the song gets lighters and the hums come back,” you mumbled.

“‘Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin

I woke with her walls around me

Nothin' in her room but an empty crib’

“‘And I was burning up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear, I thought I dreamed her

She never asked me once about the wrong I did’.”

Memories swirled around in Bucky’s head of all the times he felt like ending it all. He knew he was perfectly capable of doing it, but there was always a stubborn sliver of hope splintered in his head that prevented him from going through with anything. He didn’t like to think back to those times, but hearing the words leave your lips made it clear to him that you were the sliver of hope, some force of the universe had kept him around long enough to reach you and hold on. He closed his eyes and listened as you gently worked through the chorus twice more.

“‘My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done

If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me’.”

Bucky’s brows furrowed as he thought of how unconditionally you cared for him. You weren’t blind to the troubles that came with loving someone like him, with accepting what he did and offering him sanctuary from himself. He didn’t know if he would ever be sure of the idea that he deserved love, but he was okay with being selfish if it meant having you by his side.

“‘When I was kissin' on my baby

And she'd put her love down, soft and sweet

In the low lamp light, I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me’.”

Tears had started to well in Bucky’s eyes. He looked up once again at your face, delicately bathed in moonlight, and thought of how he looked in the light, how you both looked together in the light. If you looked so beautiful and lovely, maybe he could too. He didn't feel exposed or ugly, he felt safe, he felt free. He was overwhelmed with emotion. His heart was pounding and he was choked up, he had never felt as completely and dramatically in love with you as he did in that moment.

You wrapped up the song, carrying it out with the same hums and claps that brought it in. Looking down, you saw Bucky’s face buried in the space between your breasts and could hear a sharp intake of breath, indicating that he was crying. You ran your hand that had been tapping his back up and down his spine. You took your hand from his hair and used it to push his disheveled hair out of his eyes and off his forehead, causing him to look up at you.

To Bucky, you looked like an angel. You both laid in silence, looking into each other's eyes, while Bucky simply hugged you closer and let his tears fall freely. You leaned down and placed a few gentle kisses on his forehead. He finally settled his breathing and sniffled a few times before speaking, he was ready to talk.

“I’ve killed enough people,” he sniffled before continuing, his voice croaky, “I’ve killed enough people to give me nightmares for the rest of my life.” He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling too shameful to keep looking at you.

You sank down lower in the sheets and tightened your hold on him, bringing his face and body up and closer to you.

“I’m so sorry, Buck. I wish there was more I could do.” You finally let go of the few tears building in your eyes, letting them roll down your cheeks to the corner of your lips.

“You’re here. You love me. That’s all I need,” he let out with a sob. You nodded your head and tugged on his body, signaling to him to come up.

He shifted himself higher in the bed, his face coming parallel to yours. You snaked your hand around his neck and craned him to look into your eyes. You observed the glassiness of them and how it accentuated the bright blueness within them. You thought of how, even when he was sobbing, he looked more beautiful than ever.

“I love you so much, y/n” he whispered with shaky breaths.

“I love you too, Buck, more than anything.”

You pulled him completely into you, your swollen lips gliding against one another, mixing your salty tears. You brought your hands to the sides of his face, rubbing your thumbs over his cheekbones, feeling how beautiful he was even with your eyes closed. You both pulled back slowly, only far enough to rest your foreheads together.

“I love you.”

South Patho: Begin the Game

Barricades are being built in the streets, shop shelves are becoming barren, marauders are looting houses. An invisible murderer is walking through the Town — merciless, weightless, and listless. No one knows how to protect themselves against it or who is to become its next victim. Seems like the Town is doomed — yet, those of its inhabitants who are privy to the mystery of its internal structure are still trying to fight back. Their efforts and hopes are guided by the knowledge and the will of three outstanding persons.

They decide to play a game during a sleepover at Stan's family's barn. Something spooky and mature that they can play as a group. None of them would be the first to admit how much they'd missed the pretend games from when they were kids, and when Stan brought up a weird tabletop game for four players that he wanted to try it sounded like an engaging way to spend the time.

Stan comes in from the house with a lantern and some batteries to see Kyle and Kenny already looking through the materials.

"So, this is a game about fighting a plague in a creepy town, and it DOESN'T have zombies? What do we fight then?"

"Hmm, only one of the characters is a doctor even. I totally call that guy."

"Hey, should we be assigning characters before Cartman even gets here?" Stan put the lantern down in the middle of the table. The sun wouldn't set for another hour or two, but he wanted to be prepared.

"Fatass should've been on time if he wanted dibs on the pieces, first rule of game night. Hey, whats this thing?" Kyle pulled out a cocoon-like piece the size of his thumb.

"Haha, I think I know where that piece goes," Kenny grinned.

"OKAY, fine, I guess I'll set it up then!" Stan cut in before Kenny could say more and started unfolding the game board. He pretended he couldn't tell what Kenny was pretending to do with the cocoon piece - the "Polyhedron" according to the back of the box - behind his back as Kyle snickered. He wondered why he'd even tried to get his friends together for a weird game like this and if the R part of the TTRPG had already started.

Once the board was set up and the Polyhedron attached - correctly - in its place along the river, there wasn't much else to the supplies. There was an overview packet for the general setting and rules, plus four considerably longer books that were meant to go only to the players of their respective characters: The Bachelor, The Haruspex, The Changeling...and The Plague.

Stan handed the Bachelor to Kyle and skimmed the other books before putting them down. There was one guy, a veterinary surgeon, that looked like a pretty neat character...still he'd prefer to know more of the way the game works before making a choice.

"Oooh, this ones pretty cool!" Stan looks up from the rules - what does "Time is expensive and your life is cheap" even mean mechanically?! - and saw Kenny flipping through the "Plague" player guide. His eyes were wide and he'd pulled his hoodie down some to be able to read better. "I wanna be this one."

"Lets see...according to the rules, the Plague player has the most control over the world and has to track the...'metanarrative struggle of the other players'."

"I don't know, that sounds pretty complicated Kenny. You know, if you wanted to play this doctor guy I'd be cool with playing something else."

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah, if I'm the one that is making us play the game, I guess its only fair...I can do the Plague or DM stuff, its no problem."

Kyle scoffed. "Why does that mean you have to run the game? You don't have to control every activity, dude."

"Oh come on, I'm not the one going 'oooh here take the easy character Kenny! 'cause I obviously know whats best for everyone!'"

Kenny sighed, hiding his face behind the Plague guide so he wouldn't have to watch those two have the same argument for the 90th time.

"WHAT UP you fucking nerds. I am ready to eat corn chips and kill zombies or whatever!" Cartman burst into the barn, throwing his sleeping bag in a pile in the corner and walking over already eating something out of the grocery bag in his hands. "Oh, did you dicks start playing without me?"

"Should've gotten here earlier, fatass," Kyle pretended to get really into reading his booklet and avoided looking at anyone.

"Hey dude," Stan moved aside to let Cartman see the layout. "We didn't start playing, we just were picking out our characters while we waited."

"I see, first rule of game night and all. What have you got left for me?"

"I didn't really pick it, but I was sort of interested in playing The Haruspex. There's also The Changeling but I don't know much about that one at all."

Kenny chuckled from behind his book.

"Weeellll Stan, I'd hate to take the one that you were looking forward to....yoink!" Cartman snatched the Haruspex book and eagerly opened it to the first page. Stan sighed and went to pick up the Changeling.

Kenny, however, grabbed it first.

"Hold on. Cartman...you're gonna wanna check this out," Kenny flipped to a specific page in the Changeling book - neither Kyle or Stan could see what it was - and held it in front of Cartman's skeptical face. "Read this. I think you'd be missing out~~~"

Cartman read the passage with a straight face until an evil, conspiratorial grin spread across his cheeks. "Ken, my man...you get me," he said, dropping the Haruspex book without a second look.

Kyle's eyes narrowed. "What was that, what did you show him? Was that cheating?"

"I wasn't cheating, I was controlling the metanarrative struggle of the players. Its one of my Plague abilities."

"Wha- Stan! You see this?"

Stan sat heavily in his chair, ready for this bullshit to be over with. "I don't know what you want me to do dude, I'm not controlling this activity."

Kenny pushed the Haruspex book over to Stan. "Okay! If we've settled that, I'd like to set the mood and setting so we can start the game. Everyone good with that?"

"Yeah, sure." "Ugh, fine." "Lets do this!"

Kenny lowered his hood fully, shaking out his messy hair. "Cool. We open on a Town on a River in the Russian Steppe. Something has, is, and will happen here, and you three are the ones who control that destiny. What will you do? Will you succeed? What will you lose? Lets find out....together....."

Part 1

Gateway Drug | Part Ninety-Four [PT.1]

Words: 3.1k

Warning(s): explicit language, mentions of substance abuse

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NIKKI 

"My wife doesn't tell me she's having an important surgery done, no, no, she just tells her girl friend Sharise who tells Vinnie and I'm the last one to fucking know about it." I tell Amber. 

"I didn't wanna stress him out." Vivian insists, raising her brows. 

"No, you just don't wanna keep me in the know just to piss me off." I argue. 

"Nikki, go to hell." She tells me. 

"You're not talking to him like that in here," Amber scolds her. "Just like he's not talking to you like that. We aren't doing that anymore. That was the issue last week. I didn't stop you two from talking trashy to each other and it got you where you are right now." She states. "Vivian, why didn't you tell Nikki about your procedure?" 

"I didn't even tell the father of my kid I was having it done--I'm just a private person." She tells her. 

"Duff doesn't even know?" 

"No, he doesn't, and he's not going to." She looks at me. 

Note to self: call Duff when she leaves. 

"Why haven't you him?" Amber asks her next. 

"Because I was freaking out over it enough as it was. I didn't need more people freaking out over it." She says. "So I just told Sharise because she was the one driving me home from it."

Amber just raises her brows and thinks for a second, her lips pursed. 

"You see what I have to deal with?" I ask as I motion to Viv. 

"Nikki, please." Vivian rolls her eyes. 

"And she wonders why I won't fuck her. She doesn't deserve it at the moment." I add. 

"Your dick isn't made of gold, Nikki, it's some trophy I should have to earn--especially when you clearly have no qualms tossing it around like a hot potato from one pussy to the next." 

"That's not how you were acting last week." I argue. "

"But you won't fuck me because I'm not Vanity." She says back. 

"I won't fuck you because the thought of screwing a pregnant chick makes my skin crawl." I admit. 

"You'll go down on me while I'm on the rag but me being eleven weeks pregnant--barely showing--is where you draw the line?" 

"Right, sorry, 'I won't fuck you because the thought of screwing a pregnant chick makes my skin crawl when she's pregnant with a baby she cheated on me to conceive,' there, that's better." I correct myself. 

"At least I know the lovechild I have, exists. Do I even wanna think about the girls you've probably knocked up across the globe the last several years?" She accuses me. 

"Unlike you, dear, I know how to fucking use condoms." I cut back at her.

"Gee, can't imagine where I learned to hate condoms in the first place." She sarcastically adds. 

"Fuck if I know, you were telling me to take the damn thing off the first time we even had sex, little miss, 'I'm a virgin', 'this is my first time,' which looking back now is so obviously bullshit." I scoff. 

"I was until you fucking corrupted me." 

"My apologies, I didn't realize I was creating a cum monster whose main ambition was to procreate." 

"And I didn't realize I was creating a codependent junkie." She doesn't hesitate to throw back at me and we're both silent just enough for Amber to cut in. 

"I am going to give you two homework." She says, sighing, glancing at the clock. 

We're out of time. 

"I want you two to write each other a letter, one that doesn't involve putting one another down, and I want you to pick a time--any experience or memory with on another--that you consider the happiest you've been with each other, and I want you to mail them to each other, and next visit you'll read each other's letters back to one another to remind that person what they wrote. Sound easy?"

We just look at each other, not saying a word. 

I didn't want to waste my time writing something for her that she'd just rip up without reading, and I knew she would, and I could see she didn't want to do that, either.

I'm great at song writing...but love letters? 

I think back to the last love letter I wrote for Viv...the one in the back of her Bible I gave to her. 

It kind of hurts that one of the last physical confessions of love I gave to her was practically a suicide note. 

I close my eyes and groan, rubbing my forehead. 

Fuck.

I try to think back to my happiest time with her over the last years. 

Like flicking through the index of my mind--as best as I can, at least…

I let out a heavy sigh as I flip from channel to channel, chewing my gum, getting frustrated when I can't find anything interesting to watch. 

"Are you gonna find a channel and stick to it or are you gonna keep flipping through the same channels and expect programming to change in a matter of seconds?" Vivian asks in a borderline snap, getting aggravated with me. 

I just roll my jaw and turn the T.V. off, tossing the remote onto the coffee table. 

"I didn't say turn it off, Nikki, you can watch T.V., just pick a channel and stick to it." She sighs, her Bible still in hand, the pad she's using to take notes in, in her lap. 

"No. You just read your shit in peace and quiet. Sorry for the interruption." I reply, passively. 

"Nikki, turn the T.V. back on and watch it." 

"I'm good." I state. 

"Ugh, you are such a whiney baby." She mumbles and I raise my brows, looking at her. 

"I'm a what?" I ask, and she looks at me. 

"A whiney baby." 

"A whiney baby?" 

"Yeah." She says it surely. 

I'm grabbing her socked foot that's in my lap, making her squeal, her Bible and notepad falling in the floor when she kicks at me as I start tickling her foot. 

"Nikki, stop!" She laughs out, sitting up and trying to fight me off of her. 

"No, I'm a whiney baby remember?" I remind her, letting her foot go, getting on top of her, my hands moving to her waist, making her laugh again, trying to push me off of her. 

I lean down and kiss her exposed neck, and stop tickling her, instead wrapping my arm under her, pulling her against me, settling between her legs. 

She sighs and kisses me when I lean down to her. 

Once we pull away for air, I run my thumb over her lip and she blinks up at me, slowly. 

I can tell she's thinking, "what the hell is this? What are we doing? We aren't dating, we're not just friends, though, so what are we, Sixx?" 

I don't know, either. 

I'd tell her that but I don't want to freak her out or something. 

I like her, a lot...more than a lot…

"What is it?" She asks me, and I realize I've just been staring at her. 

"I, uh...I'm not really seeing anyone else anymore, you know?" I say, hoping she gets the hint, and she raises her brows a little. 

"Oh." She replies.

"Not that it's a big deal or anything." I add. 

"I wasn't thinking it was." She shakes her head a little...but I can practically see her doing little mental cartwheels and screaming out with joy. 

I just smile at her, kissing her again.

I wrinkle my nose at the memory, not quite sure if that's when I was at my happiest with her. 

I just decide to keep digging through more of my memory--what's left of it, that is--until I'm grabbing my pen, and writing away at the paper. 

"Shhh, shh, you're gonna wake her up!" Vivian whisper yells at me as she holds a sleeping Skylar, the little baby wrapped up in a thick blanket, pacifier in mouth, knocked out cold.

"It's nearly 5:00a.m., what the hell are you doing up?" I ask her, trying to talk straight after a night of booze and blow. 

"She hasn't slept since midnight. I've been trying everything but she just dozes for a few minutes and then wakes back up and whines." She explains.

She looks tired...exhausted, really. 

"You want me to hold her and you go to bed?"

"She doesn't like you, the second she gets the feelings you're holding her, she'll wake you screaming." She reminds me. 

"She likes me." I argue. 

"Nikki, she purposely pees on you anytime you change her diaper, she gets antsy when you hold her--not to mention the amount of times you weren't paying attention and put her clothes on backwards or inside out and she pitches a fit." 

"Hey, trying to dress a squirmy kid is military-grade patience training. If you try to perfect whatever it is she's wearing, she gets irritated and just wants down and starts moving around more and making it more difficult to get some clothes on her." She just chuckles a little and gets quiet in the light of the little reading lamp, her eyes closing slowly. 

"Viv," 

"Hmm?"

"Go put the baby in the little crib thing Sharise brought over and go lay down." I tell her, quietly. 

"I'm fine where I'm at." She insists, but I know she's not. 

I take the chance and gently pick Skylar up, causing Vivian to say, "Nikki, don't wake her up," and I carefully make sure not to wake her as I carry her to the guest bedroom and put her in her playpen on her back like Sharise drilled into mine and Viv's heads to be sure of. 

She doesn't wake up, and when I get back to the living room, Vivian's asleep in her chair, cuddled under the blanket she had Skylar under. 

"Alright," I nudge her awake and she hums, furrowing her brows. "C'mon," I say to her, and she reaches her hands out. "What is it?" I ask her. 

"Can you carry me?" She asks and I sigh out. 

"Yeah, baby," I don't tell her, 'no,' despite not knowing whether or not we'll get to the bedroom because I'm tired and I know she obviously is, too, and she's not light as a feather--which will just make me more tired by the time I head to the bedroom. 

I scoop her up and make it to the bed, only nearly dropping her once due to losing my footing--which that's not her fault. That's just the evidence of my night out. 

When I lay her on the bed and pull my clothes off, crawling in beside her, she's snuggling up to me under the covers.

"You smell good." She mumbles to me. 

"I don't know how. I smell like cologne, sweat, and booze." I mumble back, my eyes closed. 

"You smell good." She repeats it. 

"You do, too." I reply. 

"I showered. You should try it some time." She says. 

"Okay, Sixx, don't make me whoop your ass at five in the morning." I tell her, keeping my eyes closed, and she giggles, pressing her lips to my cheek, and my jaw, her nails trailing down my chest to my abdomen, deliberately running over the trail of hair leading down to my…

"It's five in the morning." I groan out, biting back a moan when her hand wraps around me, another kiss being pressed to my cheek. 

"We can be done in a couple minutes." She tells me. 

"I thought you were tired." I reply, trying to wake myself back up being that a certain part of me is up and alert. I rake my hands down my face as she straddles me, before looking up at her. "You're like those spiders that wait for the males to be vulnerable then they fuck 'em and kill 'em." I add, despite my hands running up her thighs to her waist…

"You always complain about early morning sex but then by seven o'clock you're the one not letting me tap out." She reminds me. 

I just grab her hips and push her off of me before getting on her, making her laugh before my mouth catches hers, my teeth bitting at her lip before my tongue smoothes over it, making her moan softly. 

By the time we're finished and satisfied, I'm getting off of her with deep breaths, the both of us gasping for air, covered in sweat--even our hair. 

We don't hear Skylar down the hall which is a good sign that she's still asleep. 

It's weird having a baby in the house. I know it's temporary, until Vince and Sharise get back from their little Florida getaway, but it's odd taking care of someone else aside from Vivian.

I wonder what it would be like if Viv would've actually been pregnant when we got married like she thought she was. 

We'd have a two year old by now. 

How fucking bizarre would that be raising a kid in this life at the moment. 

Sure, Vince is doing it, but that's because Sharise is solid as a fucking rock. 

I'd take a bullet for Vivian--fucking die for her--but she's not solid like that, not right now, at least. She used to be. 

I mean she's still sober as shit but sobriety doesn't help much when you're wired even though you don't have a drop of anything in your system.

Look at me, like I'm one to be talking about dependability.

I look over at her, she's passed out, damp red hair across her pillow, covers pulled over her shoulder…

I reach over and run my fingertips across her cheek, the palm of my hand moving up to smooth over her hair as rays of sun start to filter through the small parting in the blackout curtains.

I'd love to have a kid in a couple years--maybe even within the next year--it just depends on the band, whether we're where we need to be by then or not...whether me and Viv are where we need to be or not, too. 

Which as of right now, we're great. 

We're more than great. 

We haven't argued in two weeks. 

Two fucking weeks. 

Who the hell goes that long without arguing? Certainly not us, but here we are. 

We weren't fighting as much because we were having sex like bunnies. I'm talking at least twice a day--Twice. A. Day. For two and a half weeks. 

Looking back, I know it's because she was in the wake of a miscarriage, I was in the wake of Vince and Razzle's tragedy, we were both craving a quick fix and I guess sex is how we were illusioned into believing we were healing. 

In reality we obviously weren't solving anything, just brushing it under the rug, but it was honestly the happiest I had been with her for our marriage. 

It was peaceful. We weren't at each other's throats. We weren't at war. We looked forward to seeing each other and spending time with each other, and it was the closest we got to being how we were when we were just dating...so that, for me at that time, was the happiest I remember us being.

The next day I'm taking my enveloped and stamped letter down to the mailbox in the hall near the recreation room, passing by Amber on my way, seeing her nod at me in acknowledgment before I'm halting myself and coming back to see her. 

"Hey, Doc, I need a word." I tell her. 

"Can it wait, Mr. Sixx, I'm running late for a meeting?" 

"I wanna know why having sex with my wife is a bad thing?" I ask, and she stops and looks at me. 

"It's not. Nobody said it was." She tells me. 

"You told me it might jeopardize our progress if we move too fast." 

"Because it very well could. You both have co-dependence intertwined in your sex lives." She explains.

"Well, I don't know if you've been paying attention to the last couple sessions but my wife has needs right now. And not having sex with her right now is jeopardizing our progress because she thinks something's wrong with her." 

"But you've told me, and her, you don't desire her because she's currently carrying another man's child."

"I've been thinking about it and I told her I'd work this out with her and how I've acted towards her is kinda contradictory to that." I admit. "And I can't go home and screw her into next week because you've got me paranoid about messing things up, now." 

"Have you told her my opinion on sex in your relationship as of now?" 

"No."

"Well, then, tell her about it and I'll take the blame for it." 

"I don't want you to take the blame for anything, I want you to 'ok' me banging my wife." 

"If you want to, 'bang,' your wife, then you can do that. There's not a law in the universe barring you from getting intimate with her."

"Sure as shit feels like it." I argue. 

"Tell you what, you talk to her about it--tell her my opinion--and we'll touch on it in the next session." She suggests. 

"Pun intended?" I ask and she furrows her brows, looking unamused. 

"...Okay, nevermind." I mumble. 

"I'll see you Friday for your session with the boys, have a good day." She tells me, giving me a nod before walking away. 

I just shake my head a little, irritated, and drop my letter in the mail box, heading to the payphone to try to call Vivian. 

"Hello?" She answers on the second ring and I clear my throat. 

"H-Hey, it's me," I say, and she's quiet for a moment. 

"Hey," she finally answers and I let out a breath of relief. 

"Do you wanna visit tomorrow? I need to talk to you about something." I tell her. 

"Is this where you tell me you're filing for a divorce afterall?" She asks and I rub my lips together. 

"No, Viv, it's not. It's about our sex thing." I struggle trying to define it. 

"Can we even have a sex thing if we aren't even having sex?" 

"Ha. Ha. Smartass." I state. "Seriously, you wanna come?" 

"More than you know." She replies and I can't help but laugh. 

"Pun not intended." She adds. "I'll be there around nine o'clock, if that's okay? I have another appointment to check on the baby since the surgery and then I'm gonna try to go shopping for some decently healthy things because I'm gaining too much weight at the moment." 

"You're pregnant--that's your excuse to eat whatever the fuck you want, when you want it, isn't? Like a chick liberation thing or something." 

"I'm eating too much junk, I don't want to pop out a fifteen pound baby. My pussy will rip to my ass." She says and I get a horrifying image. "I'll see you tomorrow morning, Nikki, I gotta go." 

"Alright, see you then. Bye, baby." 

"Bye." She replies softly before hanging up.

I pick at the inside of my lip with my teeth, another thought coming to mind...and my eyes shift to my pinky ring on my right hand...the same one I'd proposed to Vivian with back in '83.

Bitter(&)Sweet | Vil x Reader x Malleus

[Originally from “The Heart Mirror” on Wattpad]

—

Vil Shoenheit was at a loss. While he would usually see his Magicam page as something to be proud of, his latest posts had seemed... off, to him, like something was missing. Not that there was anything wrong with him, obviously - he would never share anything of himself that was less than perfection. However, he still couldn't look at the posts and be fully satisfied with what he saw.

Perhaps it was the lighting? No, that seemed fine. The background? That would make more sense. He mainly posted photos of himself in his dorm room, so perhaps a change of scenery would make this feeling of discontent go away.

That was how he found himself wandering around the school grounds. Nothing around the Pomefiore dorm seemed to stand out to him; nor did the botanical gardens or anything on the school field. Vil considered going to Heartslabyul to see if he could take photos in the Rose Maze before deciding against it - quite a lot of Cater's photos were taken there and he didn't want to be accused of stealing ideas. Still, he was determined to find... whatever it was he was looking for.

Vil's answer came not long after. Turning a corner, a voice reached his ears. If he was correct, the Light Music clubroom wasn't too far from where he was. Perhaps they were practicing late? It wouldn't surprise him if they were, but the voice was so different from the usual screamo Lilia sang... the voice was so soothing...

Walking down the corridor, Vil followed the sound of the voice in almost a dream-like state. The voice had made something click in his head - his sense of unease was lifting. So his answer was in the Light Music club?

His hand reached out to the door only to have it swing inward. Vil looked up and saw the form of Diasomnia's dorm head, Malleus Draconia, looking down on him.

Vil furrowed his brow in confusion (or at least he would have, if it didn't risk giving him premature wrinkles). Malleus was the one who was singing? But, even if Vil did rarely hear Malleus talk, he was sure that the voice was different to the one that had beaconed him...

He didn't have to wait long for an answer. "Tsunotaro? What's wrong?"

The large frame of the dark fae shifted sideways, almost like a doorway. Vil couldn't quite describe what he felt when he saw you - your looks were not what Pomefiore boasted, yet there was something enticing about you that made Vil unable to look away. As you moved off the clubroom's stage, he couldn't help but move forward, for once unaffected by the dark fae's presence.

"Ah - you're... Pomefiore's dorm leader, Vil, right? Sorry, did we- woah!"

Your feet caught around some misplaced wires left on the steps, causing you to fly forward. Before Vil could make a move to catch you, Malleus was already by your side, straightening you up.

"Are you alright, (y/n)?" Malleus asked, moving his hands off your sides.

You nodded, slight frazzled. "Yeah, I'm fine. Oh, wait, my shoe..."

"This one?"

You turned around to see Vil holding your shoe. "Ah, thank you!"

Vil pulled the shoe back when you reached out for it. As confusion flickered on your face, he knelt down. "Allow me."

Delicately, he pulled your foot towards him and slotted in back into its shoe. A light blush grew on your cheeks from the interaction. Vil rose up and met your eyes.

"You should be more careful," he chastised, shaking his head, "it would be a waste to see you hurt, Cendrillion."

"C-Cendrillion?" You stammered, caught off guard. "M-My name's (y/n)..."

"Hmm... I suppose that name does suit you." Vil said. "However, Cendrillion does as well. Or perhaps you'd prefer to be called a songbird?"

"Songbird...?"

"Yes," the growing blush on your cheeks pleased Vil, "that voice of yours is quite beautiful. Perhaps you could allow me to listen to it once again?"

In one quick moment, Vil caught your hand and placed a light kiss on top of it. Raising his eyes, he watched your eyes dart to Malleus, whose face was expressionless. The lack of reaction from the other dorm leader seemed to cause a look of sadness to grow in your eyes; though Vil didn't let his thoughts dwell on it as you returned you gaze to him.

"I'd be happy to." You told him with a smile.

Vil smiled in return, straightening up. "Excellent. I'll escort you back to your dorm?"

You nodded, moving closer to his side. The two of you went for the door, though just before you left the room you turned and smiled at Malleus, who had continued to watch you two without any noise or shift in expression.

"Good night, Tsunotaro."

His reply was a mute nod.

Vil closed the door.

—

Your life seemed to change almost instantly after meeting Vil. It seemed he wasn't content to just keep your singing to himself - no, he said, it would be wrong of him to deprive the world of your talent. After helping you put on a small performance to the other residents of Pomefiore, they were all eager to help the dorm leader promote you online.

First, the residents who were most adapt in page design helped to create a Magicam account, typing out the most algorithm-friendly description to do with your new "brand" and giving you a list of the best tags. Next, the residents who were best at design and filming helped to record you and your voice with the most pleasing visuals possible. Once that was done, Vil began promotion work on your page.

There were other people who helped promote your work such as other popular members of Pomefiore and Vil's influence friends, but none were more prominent than Vil himself. Not only did he enlist the help of Prof. Crewel to make you an outfit that you swore made you shine every time you looked in the mirror, he insisted of doing your make-up and hair himself (in a style that was not too different to his own, the other residents noticed). Even after he promoted your page with a picture of the two of you together in your "recording studio" - a spare Pomefiore room Vil had had cleaned out that had basically become a second home to you - the occasional photo of the two of you hanging out appeared on his page, keeping you fresh in his fan's minds.

You were showing up so much, in fact, that it didn't take his fans long to start spamming questions about if the two of you were dating. At first you were surprised, but it didn't take long for your mind to change. Nowadays it seemed the two of you were inseparable, Vil standing so close to you that your hands brushed together. The feeling of his hands against you, whether it was to doll you up or just in a friendly gesture, had become so natural to you that going a day without it left you with a sense of forgetting something.

Life really had changed for you. Not necessarily in a bad way! You appreciated Vil and everything he was doing for you, and he treated you well (even if you weren't officially a "thing"). It was just...

You flipped through your phone gallery, past all the selfies of you and Vil. Stopping, your stared at the one picture you'd grown accustomed to staring at. A candid photo of Malleus, his head turned slightly towards you, mouth opened as he talked about something a certain overprotective dorm mate of his did. A nearby tree had cast and shadow on his face, making his eyes seem to have an ethereal glow to them.

A feeling of sadness always came when you thought of the fae. When you'd first met Vil and heard his request to hear you sing, you'd turned to Malleus in the hopes he would say something. Something that would make you know your feelings weren't one-sided.

But he'd just stood there, silent. Looking down at Vil with a twinge of shock and annoyance in his eyes, but still silent. So you said yes.

Before Vil, Malleus had been the only one you'd sung for. A couple of your friends knew of your hobby, of course, but Malleus had been the only one who you'd let hear your voice frequently. The small smile and words of praise as he clapped you made you feel like you were on cloud nine. Made you forget about all the other times he'd failed to pick up on your feelings for him.

You barely saw him anymore. More and more of your nights had been spent in your room at Pomefiore, cutting away almost all of your nightly walk-and-talks with Malleus which themselves were becoming awkward. There were times you wanted to ignore Vil's messages and go leaping into Malleus' arms and apologise for leaving him alone so often; but then Vil's open care and affection for you would ring in your head and you couldn't bring yourself to do it.

What would Malleus do, if you cut off Vil? Would things go back to how they were, him with his odd talks of gargoyles and parties, you listening and singing for him, waiting for the day he told you he reciprocated your feelings? Would things progress that way if you did?

What would Vil do, if you told him the words you knew he wanted to hear? Say you loved him back and took the next step with him, even if it felt like a lie? Would you be able to forget Malleus and let Vil into your heart instead?

Thoughts swirling in your head, you turned off your phone and lay in darkness.

—

"What seems to be the problem, Malleus?" Lilia asked, coming down from the ceiling. "You seem upset."

"I'm fine." Malleus replied with a small frown.

The older fae raised an eyebrow. "So you're not upset at the new relationship between (y/n) and Vil Shoenheit?"

"Relationship...?" Malleus turned his head, eyes wide.

Lilia smiled reassuringly(?). "Just the new friendship between the two. I must say, they hit it off rather well, as the youngsters say."

Malleus turned his face away. Yes, the two of you had gotten along great. That was precisely the problem.

When Vil had first pushed himself into one of his nightly serenades from you, he had been to shocked and unsure of himself to say anything. Malleus could hardly watch as the other dorm head had wooed you, whisking you away from him. He'd watched in despair as the two of you left him alone in the clubroom because... because...

Because he had feelings for you. There. He admitted it, even though he was pretty sure you didn't feel the same way. Most people shuddered at the very mention of his names - yet you didn't, even if it was initially out of naiveté. The fact you considered him a good friend was a miracle in itself. He's contented himself with letting it stay that way, not wanting to risk losing your smile.

So why wasn't he happy for you? There you were, living in a blissful paradise with a Prince Charming who'd all but literally swept you off your feet. He should be happy that you found someone who could make you smile. Yet he couldn't. All because he wanted that smile for himself.

Lilia watched as the conflict grew on the younger fae's face and sighed.

"Malleus, you know it would just be easier if you told (y/n)." Lilia chuckled.

"But..."

"Would you rather wait for (y/n) to tell you they were officially with Vil?" He continued. "Even if the answer is a no, at least you'll know what your relationship really is. (y/n) means something to you, Malleus, and I can promise you you don't want to waste your life on what ifs."

Malleus gritted his teeth and crossed his arms. But "what if" he just made things worse between you two? "What if" you felt pressured into saying yes to him and no to Vil? "What if"... what if your smiles did mean something more?

"(y/n) should be at Pomefiore!" Lilia shouted to Malleus as he practically ran out of the room.

—

You and Vil sat opposite each other, tea cups and printed photos on the table between you.

"We could do a variety for autographs," Vil explained, tapping the two you both liked the most. "Then your fans would be more likely to-"

"M-Malleus Draconia!?"

You turned your head up and saw Malleus striding into the room. His face was determined; it was one of the rare times that you'd seen anything so evident on his face, maybe the most ever.

Worried, you practically jumped off the sofa and went to his side. "Tsunotaro? What's wrong?"

He grabbed both your hands and held them in his. "(y/n). I like you."

"...eh?" The bluntness of the statement caught you off guard. "Wait... like? As in...?"

"No, wait. Not like. I love you. That's how I feel."

A bright red blush begun to spread across your cheeks. You tried to open your mouth to say something, but your mind couldn't think of anything. You closed your mouth and he took it as a sign to continue.

"(y/n), I've loved you for a while now. I know you may not feel the same way and I don't blame you. I just wanted to tell you because I... I needed to." Malleus gripped your hands tighter.

The suddenness of the situation had made you forget you were in Pomefiore, with all the astounded residents watching on. Finally able to think of a reply, you opened your mouth again to tell Malleus, but a hand on your shoulder stopped you.

"I'd hoped to wait a little longer before saying this," Vil said, "but I'd rather not risk losing because of that."

Vil softly grabbed your chin and turned your face to look at him.

"(y/n), ever since your voice led me to you, you have captured all my thoughts. Just spending time with you as friends is no longer enough; I wish to be more. (y/n), I love you. Do you feel the same?"

You looked between the two boys, face red from the abruptness. It was only a few days ago you were thinking of the two of them - now this? Not just one, but two confessions in under a minute. Your heart couldn't keep up.

Taking one last look between Malleus and Vil (and a deep breath), the answer came clear in your mind.

"I..."

Jac & Jesse

Jac: [some gossip about him that could either be a bit true or totally hilariously not] Jac: when were you gonna tell me, like? Jesse: 👎 Jac: That's what you would say now you've been found out Jac: I 👀 Jesse: not to you Jac: Hmm Jac: I look forward to getting the actual info to spread about then Jesse: you'll have a long wait, dickhead Jesse: be gone by then Jac: Where are you going? Jesse: be quicker to ✔ off where I ain't Jesse: fully booked, me Jac: No one likes a show-off 🙄😏 Jac: how busy are you now? Jesse: busy with a ☕ Jesse: you alright? Jac: Yeah, I'm good Jac: I'm just getting ready for when I go on my own one-stop tour Jac: so when you've got a minute between ☕s maybe we can talk Jesse: go on Jac: You sure? Jac: not trying to be that customer that can't take a hint Jesse: you heard Jesse: don't need to be the customer pissing about when I'm trying to close up Jesse: you're fine to crack on Jac: alright, understood Jac: I won't nurse my ☕ and order a 2nd with five minutes to go Jac: I don't know how to start what I wanna say, helpful, I know Jesse: I ain't put a ⏲ on Jesse: take a bit if you need Jac: I mean, you put me on the 🕔 a bit but I'll just ignore you when you put up the chairs around me 💁 Jac: There's a lot of stuff I don't wanna leave left unsaid Jac: well, a lot of me does wanna leave it and I know a lot of you probably ain't gonna thank me for it either but I don't think I SHOULD leave some of it, the way it has been Jesse: alright Jac: fuck's sake Jac: okay, do you want the apology, the thanks, or the reasons Jac: because I can do them all but you know, pick your fave or least so we can get it out of the way, I don't know Jesse: can you even have a sorry or thanks without the why bit? Jesse: if I dunno what you're sorry for or saying tah for, not getting very far, like Jac: since you've not actually got me a drink, you've got some idea Jac: but okay, I hear reasons loud and clear, no need to be so coy Jac: you know why I need to say thank you Jac: that's more apparent, and easier Jac: and I didn't just pick you because I had no one else, I still could've made mum do it all with me or nan Jac: I wouldn't have picked anyone else, anyway, which sucks for you but yeah, you stepped up and I wasn't appropriately grateful at the time, or close, so I'll say it now Jac: thanks Jesse: you weren't ready to tell her, I get that, that's why I did Jesse: and it weren't like I did it for a tah Jac: no, I know Jac: but I should still say it now, I wanna Jac: it was still shit, and is always gonna be a shit thing that happened to me but you took a bit of it on, and that counts Jesse: you can have one back, tah for not dying, that worried me for a bit there Jac: I still don't feel like I was ever that reckless, like, I know how that sounds, and obviously the baby was a wake-up call that it had gone TOO far, even for my standards Jac: but under normal circumstances, I would've protected you from that, cared to and I didn't, so that's a sorry too Jesse: it was shit scary, the baby bit especially, but that's why I weren't gonna just leave you to it Jac: I thought I had a handle on the rest, but yeah, I should probably let that idea go since what does that matter given what happened Jac: you could've, and I wanted you to, so sorry/thanks again Jac: that's the least eloquent way I can put it Jesse: if it makes it less of a headfuck for you, reckoning that you had it sorted, you can have it Jesse: I don't mind Jesse: but you ain't ever getting me turning my back however much you want it Jac: I don't know, I was doing reckless, destructive things, but I never thought I was going to die Jac: accidents happen though, so, maybe I can accept now that I was tempting shit back then Jac: I don't want it now, and I did want that less as the year went on Jac: but I'm aware it's shit I ever did, that that must've been, well Jesse: what happened to Is was proper raw for all of us back then, probably put me on edge about you more than it would've done Jac: Yeah Jac: it was so right after, I know that's what mum and dad thought Jesse: we've all thought all kinds of shit Jesse: Jude's said loads of it to me before now, like I can give her an answer ✔ or ❌ Jac: and I deserve to live with the consequences of just letting you all speculate Jac: I really know that, and I'm gonna talk to everyone and you can all say or not say whatever you want to me, it's all fair Jesse: we've all lived Jac: that don't mean it's alright Jac: or I ever reckoned it was Jac: I knew it weren't Jac: and again, that makes it less okay Jesse: you weren't alright, none of us were big enough dickheads not to work that out, even her Jac: Obviously Jac: but the point is, you can hold me accountable now and it won't be a waste of time, you know Jesse: you've been a prick, me an' all loads of times, we both will be again in a bit Jac: it's a bit more than that Jac: come on, don't insult me like you reckon I was like that before Jesse: yeah Jesse: but I ain't gonna bother to hold it against you til you actually do 💀 Jac: that's weird Jac: leave your grudges 'til the grave Jesse: I mean I ain't bothering with any grudges Jac: Alright, hippie Jac: are you graciously accepting my apology and gratitude then or what? Jesse: I'll take it Jac: okay Jac: anything you wanna say? Jac: not last words or anything but if you can before you 💀 I'd appreciate it Jesse: you gonna say why then or what? Jac: It isn't as if it's just the one thing Jac: and now that I have to say, there's the fear that you're all gonna say it wasn't a good enough excuse and that's why I didn't say anything in the first place so Jac: let me work up to it Jesse: just call me a massive twat Jac: No, like, it was a lot Jac: and for what Jac: but it was logical at the time, and what I felt I had to do, whether that seems warranted or nah Jesse: I ain't gonna say you weren't 💔 enough for what you did Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: You might not Jac: you might think it Jac: but I'm not gonna concoct some lie that makes it all seem worthwhile, can't be that bitch Jac: fake sob story Jesse: unless you're a 🧠📖 that don't matter Jac: I'm not used to gossip rags lying or chatting shit on me Jac: I don't wanna imagine that you think the worst of me, tah Jesse: you already have done Jesse: it weren't just us imagining all sorts, come on Jac: I really, on the whole, wasn't thinking about anyone else Jac: not to brag about it Jac: none of you anyway, it wasn't like I HAD to do that, but it also wasn't a choice, being that cunt, shutting you all out Jac: my 🧠 wouldn't Jesse: not offering you a 🏆 or owt Jesse: you've sorted your head out a bit now, if you wanna tell us Jac: I don't but like, I don't want you all thinking the worse now, when that doesn't need to be a thing Jac: We can't have mum and dad thinking I'm gonna go live some trainspotting fantasies in Edinburgh Jac: 'cos I can't have them making trips over all the time, obviously Jac: also, don't wanna bore you with every in and out, so hold on whilst I storyboard my fucking drama here Jesse: would be a pisstake Jac: It all started when Amelia stopped being friends with us Jac: I don't know if she told you fuck all, as you're such pals these days, but it wasn't just like, a natural drifting apart Jesse: it was 'cause she was in love with you Jesse: dunno if you knew that an' all Jac: yeah Jac: that was it Jac: there was a relatively big declaration and like, I wasn't a dick about it, I don't think Jac: but I didn't feel the same like that so that was enough Jesse: it would be, yeah Jac: so like, she was gone but obviously not I still saw her all the fucking time 'cos there's no escaping anyone in this town, and that was just awkward at first Jesse: obviously Jac: and it did kind of piss me off, that she seriously couldn't be my friend still Jac: but it wasn't all about that, there was the Savannah element of it for us both Jesse: 'course Jac: She was jealous of her, didn't like her, all that Jac: and I cared less, because I did have her Jac: and then the Isabelle thing happened Jac: and it all really got fucked up Jesse: she was proper gone Jac: who was? Jesse: Savannah Jac: Right Jac: but before that Jac: the guy Jac: with Isabelle Jac: we didn't know Jac: but we knew he was like, well we thought he was gross, a bit cringe Jac: so me and Sav set her up Jac: people weren't wrong blaming us, even though they got the situation wrong and they didn't know that, it was just between us Jac: that's why we ran away, and a big part of why she HAD to leave, even if her dad wasn't the most controlling person ever Jesse: what did you reckon would happen? with this lad and Is? Jac: just that...I don't even know now Jac: that she'd make out with him and we could take the piss out of her for it Jac: or he'd try it on and that would be funny because he was so gross Jac: not that he wouldn't take no for an answer, that was never what either of us had imagined Jac: but we still aided that situation, even if unknowingly Jesse: no shit you didn't imagine that Jac: fact was and is, if we weren't such shit friends to her Jac: he was still at the party, still could've Jac: but it might not have been her Jesse: I could have a go at you about how you should've been a more decent mate but it's nowt you don't already know Jac: Yeah Jac: feel free to but obviously that's a huge part of what I've been thinking on these past two years so, you don't have to, like Jac: and then, like you said, Sav left Jac: and I couldn't be friends with Isabelle and I couldn't be friends with Amelia and that was that Jesse: you could've said something to me Jac: I've only just been able to Jac: for ages, it was easier to keep blaming her, or say it would've happened anyway Jac: it was raw Jac: everyone was in shock, and I didn't wanna give a basis for the shit people were saying Jac: god knows how it would've been Jesse: alright Jesse: it was fucking bad enough, I remember Jesse: the bollocks people were saying Jac: not that I had to come out and make an announcement, but even if I'd tried to explain to Is, to apologize, she'd tell her new friends and then everyone would know and I'd be as bad as him Jac: worse for the betrayal Jac: I didn't wanna hack that on my own Jesse: or she'd tell her ma and that'd be Jesse: fucking hell Jac: right Jac: she'd probably call the police or something like they can lock me up Jac: and she knew I was a bad friend, Is, I mean Jac: she'd known we all were to her for a while Jac: but I am gonna talk to her, before I go Jesse: 💡🥇 Jac: I know I'm not dying but it's the first fresh start I've had Jac: any of us, even if someone doesn't wanna forgive me, at least they know the score, if nothing else Jac: and I know I've said what I should Jesse: I'm chuffed for you, mate Jesse: don't reckon I could be 💔 and get into a top uni Jac: you could write a top hit though Jesse: don't sound like me Jesse: but I'd probably give it a go if I were Jac: that's all it's about ain't it ❤ & 💔 Jesse: depends Jac: I've never heard a top 40 about... Jac: idk, mowing the grass Jac: doing your taxes Jac: it ain't the mundane Jesse: I'll write one for you if you're gonna be 💔 about it Jac: I think I'll survive, tah Jac: rather not read the speculation about who broke your heart 🤢 Jesse: 🍻 Jesse: you gonna have a word with Sav an' all? Jac: She's arguably one of the only people I didn't really screw over Jac: she got to go to a better school and get a new, rich pretty boyfriend and not deal with that whole backlash Jac: though I'm sure she feels her guilt for it too Jesse: but there's shit you wanna say that you didn't get to Jesse: half arsed fresh start if you don't Jac: I did say it Jac: well, did Jac: she knows Jac: I don't think there's anything to be gained for her or for me from that one Jesse: 👍 Jac: Not got an actual checklist of people to get through but you know Jac: close enough Jesse: make dad a ☕ all it takes to get in his good books Jac: good books is a stretch but not being on his must-constantly-check-in-on list myself will do for now so yeah, fair shout Jesse: yeah if you're well enough to put the kettle on and make a brew you're well enough to do owt Jac: parenting 101 Jac: ✅ Jesse: 🥇🏆 Jac: not serving it to him in a 🏆 Jac: laying it on a bit thick, I reckon Jesse: 🤏 Jac: Well, we're good then? Jac: not to 🕔 or anything Jesse: yeah Jac: yeah yeah or yeah, I guess Jesse: we're good Jac: Good Jac: if I'm not on my repentance tour, might see you when you get home then Jesse: might do Jac: yes very 😎 Jesse: 🤠

The Life of Elara Ware : Chapter 2

Elara sat on her butterfly patterned bedsheets, a heavy leather bound book in her lap. She was studying alchemy this year and wanted to get a basic understanding of it before school started. She was lost in concentration when her bubble of thought was burst by light tapping at her window. She looked up to see a shabby brown owl rapping its beak against the glass. She smiled. "Hi Errol". Elara crossed her room and opened the window. The old bird half hopped, half collapsed inside. Looking out her window Elara saw it was now starting to get dark. The sun retreated below the horizon casting shadows of deep orange and red across the sky. It was a beautiful summer's evening, a light breeze provided respite from the unforgiving heat of the day. Errol lazily nipped at her hand letting out an exasperatedly quiet hoot. "Sorry boy, here" She detached the tightly rolled parchment from his leg then opened the empty bird cage perched on top of her drawers, gesturing for him to go inside. Errol happily obliged helping himself to water. The Wares family owl Alizeh had to stay in Elaras room as her mother couldn't stand her hooting. But she was currently out hunting and Errol looked thankful for the hospitality.

Elara undid the scroll expecting to be greeted with another message from George, so she was surprised to find it wasn't his handwriting at all. 'Hello Elara. I know George has been in contact with you but I dont know exactly how much he's said or not said so I thought it best to write you myself. You are of course still welcome to come and stay tomorrow. Though I must warn you it'll be a bit of a tight squeeze. My eldest sons Bill and Charlie are home and are in the twins room meaning Fred and George are currently in with Ron and Harry. Oh yes, Harry's staying with us as well I hope you dont mind. You'll be in Ginnys room, but again, tight squeeze. We have Hermione staying in there too. I hope this is all okay with you. I've been told to expect you by flu powder at about 11. Our house is called The Burrow, I don't know if George had said. Anyway it's all still a go is what I'm trying to say and we'll take you to Kings Cross as planned. Look forward to seeing you Molly Weasley'

Elara smiled. The note really was unnecessary but she couldn't blame Mrs Weasleys lack of trust in George giving her all the correct details. She quickly scribbled a reply on the back of the note. 'Thanks again Mrs Weasley this is really kind of you. 11 o'clock. Flu powder. I'll see you then'

It took some convincing and several treats but Elara finally managed to get Errol out of Alizehs cage and attach the note to his leg. She wasn't sure if Errol was quick enough to get the note to Mrs Weasley before tomorrow morning but it was worth a try. She sent him on his way then made her way downstairs to the living room. There she found her mother silently working her way through stacks of documents she had laid out on the sofa. Her long brown hair was wound into a messy bun on top of her head and her black rimmed glasses were perched on the end of her narrow, slender nose. She was wearing grey jogging bottoms and a light blue t shirt that hung off one shoulder. She was sat cross legged, brows furrowed in concentration. She hadn't noticed Elara walk in.

"Watcha doin?" Elara said. Her mother sent several pages scattered across the wooden floor as she jumped in surprise.

"Jeez sweet pea don't sneak up on me like that!"

Elara laughed and stepped forward to help as her mum started chasing papers around the room. "sorry. I wasn't aiming to scare you"

"yeah? then why are you laughing at me?" Her mother retorted as she tried to smack Elara on the backside with a recovered sheet. She tried to put on a disgruntled face but she couldn't hide her smile as her daughter dodged her attacks.

"hey! I'm helping!" Elara replied, smiling goofily back as she hopped out of her mothers reach.

"causing mayhem more like"

Elara folded her arms defiantly, a devious grin on her lips

"fine. I wont help then"

Elara put up her hands in mock surrender and started walking towards the door.

"hey! not so fast. This is your doing so you can come tidy you cheeky bugger"

Elara complied with an exaggerated curtsy as her mother started to reorganize the pages.

"honestly. all I came down for was to tell you I'm going to the Weasleys at 11. now you've got me clearing up like your personal slave" Elara put on her best dramatic sigh which made her mother chuckle.

"think how I feel. it took me ages to put all this in order now I've got to do it again"

"hmm, well if you will insist on throwing things around the house"

"oi!" her mother retorted but once again she couldn't stifle her smile.

"11 did you say?" She added after a moment.

"yup"

"how were you going to get there?"

"flu powder" then at the look of confusion on her mothers face she continued "that's the one where you travel through the fireplace. wosh" Elara flailled of her arms to illustrate.

"oh right. the one that scares me to death you mean?"

"that's the one"

"great!" Her mother gave her a double thumbs up but her eyes showed her disapproval. Elara rolled her eyes.

"mum how many times? it's safe. I've been using flu powder since I was 7. Everyone does"

Her mother sighed, nodding her head reluctantly "I know, I know"

They picked up the last few pages in lazy quiet before Elara went to kitchen to make them both a cup of tea. When she returned she found her mother staring into the currently empty fireplace like she was waiting for something. Elara silently stood by her side handing her a floral patterned mug. She looked at her mothers face obviously deep in thought. She looked almost upset. "mum?"

It was several moments before she answered.

"you know it doesn't matter how impressive and mystical and amazing all this is. Theres still a massive part of me that wished you took after me, not your dad."

Elara couldn't deny she felt offended, and it must've shown on her face

"no no that's not what I meant. Oh hunny your magics incredible and you make me proud every day. Please know that. It's just. I dont know. I can't lie. I'd be a lot less stressed if you just grew up to be a hairdresser or something. Something ordinary. Something risk free" Elara felt confused at the direction the conversation had taken. Quick to defend the life she loved so much she answered

"Well wheres the fun in that? mum I'm perfectly safe in the wizarding world. you must know that. it may still be weird to you but its who I am and its normal for us."

Her mother looked at her for a moment. Then smiled a strange, sad sort of smile. She started to say something, then stopped herself sipping on her tea instead. Elara could see a million thoughts spiraling behind her mothers eyes. Then, finally "yeah. yeah of course you are." Then without a word she turned and left.

As she stood alone in front of the mantelpiece, Elara had the feeling like she was missing something. Then a most unwelcome thought; that there was something her mother wasn't telling her. Her mother had always been a worrier. Fretted over her wellbeing day and night. It never bothered her. In fact Elara Ware had grown so used to her mothers fussing she almost didn't notice it anymore. But now that she stopped to think, since returning from school that summer it'd seemed to get a lot more frequent. Obsessively checking in on Elara through the day. Restricting when she could leave the house, not letting her go alone. At first Elara thought this was just her fear of her baby growing up. Now that she'd sat her exams, chosen a career path, got a boyfriend. But now she wasn't sure. Whatever it was, her mother was definitely upset by it.

The next morning Elara woke up later than she wanted to. She ran downstairs and inhaled some cereal so fast she was sure she must have set a new world record. Then back upstairs for a hurried shower, which unsurprisingly resulted in shampoo in her eyes. Swearing repeatedly and dripping water onto the tiles as she went. Elara stumbled blindly across her en suit reaching for a towel. cursing herself for not putting one out first. Quickly drying herself off she threw open her wardrobe, looking at her limited selection of clothes. most of it was packed in her trunk. She glanced out the window. It was raining and with the rain had brought cooler weather. She picked out her favourite pair of jeans and a loose white shirt with lace criss-crossed across the back.

It was only after she had triple checked her trunk, glancing at the clock and seeing she still had 30 minutes to spare, that Elara finally allowed herself to relax a bit. Mentally scolding herself for waking up late and turning her morning into a mad rush. She was gazing at her reflection in the mirror and without realizing found herself fussing with her hair. She couldn't explain why. Elara had never really cared what others though of how she looked before. Yet there she sat tucking her brown hair behind her ear, the pulling it forward, then tucking it back again. Perhaps it was the nerves of seeing her boyfriend again after weeks apart. After all they hadn't been dating that long when school ended for the holidays. Or perhaps it was the stress of meeting his whole family. But then again she already knew half of them. She may never have spent much time with Ron, Percy or Ginny but they were already acquainted. Then of course theres Fred. the twins came as a pack. you rarely get one without the other and she'd been going to school with them for 5 years.

She tried to shake the nerves, focussing instead on the thing she'd always liked about herself. She gazed into her eyes which were the only ones like them she'd ever known. Her right eye was a cool blue, like a river. Her left eye a pale light green flecked with yellow. The muggle doctors said it was a genetic condition with a weird name she could never remember. it didn't matter. Elara loved her eyes. they made her different. Different was good. She looked at the clock again. 20 minutes. She picked up her trunk which she'd played at the foot of her bed and began to haul it down the stairs.

"you'll write wont you"

"nah I won't bother I'll just leave you in suspense the whole year"

"Elara Ware!"

"I'm joking! I'm joking! C'mon mum I'm in my 6th year now. I'm a big girl. I'll be fine. and I'll be back before you know it."

Her mother sighed and pulled Elara into a bone crushing hug. "I know. I just worry" Elara chuckled "yeah funnily enough I've noticed"

Her mum ignored this "I love you" she mumbled into Elaras hair. "I love you too" Just then Elara noticed the time on the clock "ooh mum I've got to go. its time" Elara wriggled out of her mums grip and stepped into the fire place where her trunk was waiting. "mum the powder"

"oh yeah right"

Her mother grabbed a small clay pot from ontop of the book case. It was peculiar in shape, unpainted and unvarnished. Elara had very vague memories of making it at muggle school when she was about 7 years old. Inside was the floo powder. Elara grabbed a handful and offered one last smile to her mum. "Bye mum"

"Bye darling"

Elara dropped the floo powder onto her feet and shouted "The Burrow" With that she started to spin. Faster in faster as her living room dissolved into a blur of colour. But just before she lost sight of her mother completely she saw it again. The same sad look in her mothers eyes. She was trying to hide it but still it was unmistakably there. Why? what was Elara not understanding? Before she could even fathom the answer the spinning stopped. She was no longer in her living room. She stepped out onto a well worn rug to a wall of welcoming red headed smiles. and there standing the closest the one she was most excited to see. beaming the brightest of all "miss me?" Said George

Happy early birthday to my twin @panthergoddessbast! Always remember that I love you immensely! 😘

—————————————

VI. THREE-HEADED MONSTER

The sexual tension on the ride back to O'Shea's house was so thick it could be cut with a knife. Erik could feel the way her eyes bore into the side of his face, her stare unrelenting. She wanted more, but he still didn't think she deserved it. She was gonna have to work for the dick, no matter how many times her hand brushed against his hardening third leg.

"What are you doing, Ms. Powell?" he asked, his eyes never leaving the road.

"I was a good girl at dinner. I think I deserve a treat."

"You got one in the bathroom, don't be greedy Princess." This made Shea pout, but she was determined to make him break.

"Please Daddy?" she tried again, sliding her perfectly manicured coffin nail up his thigh.

"O'Shea, I said no," he scolded firmly causing her to recoil slightly.

"No?" she inquired, her eyebrow raised in confusion. Being the spoiled Daddy's girl she was, no wasn't a word she was used to hearing. Erik noticed her change in demeanor and decided to exploit the situation.

"Yes, I said no, Bianca. Any other questions?" She huffed loudly, turning her body back to face the windshield.

"First of all, I'm an adult and you will address me as such. You're going to give in eventually. That tent in ya pants will need to be handled somehow."

"I have Skylar for that," he added just to antagonize her further.

"Nice try, but Skylar is a lesbian."

"Skylar is just like you, she doesn't give a fuck who eats her pussy, I'm just the only man she lets do it," he replied with a shit-eating grin. O'Shea remained silent the rest of the ride to her place, not even bothering to give him a look back as she walked up to her door and into the house. He couldn't exactly explain why, but he loved getting her riled up the way he had. He loved seeing the fire in her eyes when she was angry at him. It made his dick even harder and the dormant beast within him began to come to life.

Let me have a taste, the beast growled.

"Soon, big fella. Soon," he told himself. Little did O'Shea know he had his own Bennie, and Killmonger was an expert brat tamer.

--

"Why in the fuck would you tell her that? She should've punched your ass," Skylar fussed from her seat behind Erik's desk. She was on the computer, her long nails tittering away on the keyboard as she worked on an informative pamphlet for her own clients.

"The three major components of the cognitive-behavioral approach are: (a) replacement of sexual anxiety with sexual comfort; (b) adopting positive sexual attitudes and learning sexual skills; and (c) a program of individually designed sexual exercises to be done between therapy sessions. The goal of this therapy is to develop a comfortable, functional, and satisfying sexual style... How does that sound," she asked aloud.

"Like you copied and pasted it from a generic article but it serves its purpose and describes what we do. I might just change the name of the practice to mine and steal your pamphlets."

"I don't think so," Skylar mumbled printing multiple pamphlets before ejecting her drive.

"You couldn't do that in your office?" Erik teased watching her lips purse in indignation.

"I could've but I was already here," she replied, taking a sip from her caramel macchiato. "So how are things going with you and Shea?"

"Oh the usual, however, I think we're making progress with her attitude. She's starting to learn that acting out and misbehaving gets her nothing but blue balls."

"I don't think women can get blue balls, but go off I guess."

"Shut up you know what I meant, nigga," he replied, blowing the wrapper of his straw in her direction. The pair shared a laugh before Erik grabbed his leather notebook from the desk drawer.

"I need help coming up with the next method I want to try with her. She's the ideal candidate for experimental therapies. We can really take this thing as far as it goes with her. Hypnotherapy was successful, I've taken thorough notes on that session after watching the footage a few times. And the toy. The toy did exactly what it was designed to do. However, it's not just toys and hypnotism. I've found that engaging her in non-sexual ways are just as effective to bring out her little personalities.

"Oh, so you met them already." Sky leaned forward interested in where the conversation was headed.

"I've tapped into her Little behavior and experimented with some of her kinks. Buttercup is the Little and she appears whenever she feels that I'm upset with her. There are layers to that psychologically that I'd like to examine."

"Hmm," Skylar nodded intrigued.

"Bianca is the brat you and I are used to."

"Too used to it." Skylar's eyes roll.

"She's obviously triggered by the word 'No' and tends to act out when she doesn't get her way. She's also fairly easy to contain... Bennie-"

"You don't need to tell me about Bennie, I work in a sex shop. Bennie comes to work every day."

"I'm kinda stuck now... I have all of this leeway yet I can't decide which method to use next. When I look at her I see endless possibilities. Since you know her, what do you suggest?"

"How about you do some type of exercise in which you bring all of her little personalities to the surface? Get her high."

"Seriously? That's it?"

"Yeah. You'd be amazed at what you'll learn from her when she's under the influence." Erik rubbed his chin as he pondered the thought.

"But you know how I get when I'm high, Sky," he said, sending a sly grin her way.

"Boy get your slick ass away from me. Save the bedroom eyes for O'Shea, thanks."

"On some serious shit though, how do I go about asking her to the crib? That violates all types of rules and crosses all types of barriers."

"Well technically it doesn't because it's possible to file it under intensive in-home services," she chuckled.

"Sky..."

"Okay, seriously working with the client in their home is not out of the ordinary. Don't make this weird."

"Aight, so you think we should do this at her crib since I've already been there before?"

"Yes. Her home is easier to justify on paper since it's familiar territory and she'll be more relaxed in her own space versus yours."

"Yo smart ass! That's why I keep you around," he said kissing her forehead repeatedly.

"I thought it was because I rolled the best weed but both compliments will do."

"You know I love you girl. That reminds me, you still got that dispensary connect in LA?"

"Maybe, why? You tryna get some specialty shit?"

"Yes, ma'am. Something that will ease her mind and body and allow her to open up to me."

"I know just the thing. It's called Green Goddess."

"Ooh, sounds exotic. I need two ounces."

"$2500."

"You know my account info. Get it for me and bring it by. Oooh, bring some In & Out too. And Cold Stones."

"Nigga is O'Shea the female in this situation or you?"

"Hush woman and do what I say," he said with a sharp smack to her ass.

"Yes Daddy," she teased in a soft, Princess-like voice.

"Aye chill out, it's been a minute." Skylar's soft giggle rang throughout the hallway as she walked towards the entrance. He thought for a minute before typing a quick text to O'Shea.

Busy tonight?

Nah why?

Netflix and chill at your crib? I'll bring the bud and food.

You had me at bud. See you at 7.

"Spoiled ass," he chuckled as he put his phone away.

The rest of the work day went by smoothly and soon it was time to head to his patient's house. As usual, Skylar came through with the bud he requested and both his and Shea's favorite meals from In & Out and ice cream from Cold Stones.

"At this point, you owe me your life," Sky fussed from her desk. "Traffic was hell. There was an accident, a four-car pileup." She was working late due to Erik and his needy ways so she opted to facetime him as he made his way to O'Shea's house to make her frustrations known.

"I knew it would be something that's why I knew I wouldn't have the time or patience. But you know I always got you, ma. If all else fails, I'm marrying you."

"Choke on rocks," she pouted. "Always using me for the shit you don't wanna do. I'm getting a new best friend, one that respects how great I am and loves me for me."

"If it's a dude, I'ma kill him. Killmonger don't share."

"I ain't Killmonger's bitch," she countered. "And murder is very much so illegal. This ain't the Navy." He smiled, revealing his bottom row of gold. He cleared his throat before dropping his voice several octaves.

"You sure about that, ma?"

"Oh no, put the demon away."

"Nah, you said you were replacing us. You sure you wanna do that?"

"Unlike O'Shea, I can do what I want, but no sweetheart, I'd never replace you."

"Pinky promise and swear on Crip."

"On Crip, I'd never replace you and you know we don't lie on the hood."

"Aight we good. I'll call you later to let you know how things go." The pair shared their goodbyes and Erik exited his vehicle.

"You're early," O'Shea noted as she stepped back to let him in. The clock on the microwave read 5:30.

"Work was light and I figured I'd just go ahead and come over. Problem?"

"No. Is that Cold Stones?" She asked wide-eyed.

"Yes it is and no you can't have it."

"B-But why?" she pouted.

"Later, Bianca."

"How many times must I remind you that I am an adult?"

"Barely," he regarded with a smirk as he made his way to her kitchen. She followed him the whole way, pouting all the while as he pulled everything out of the bags.

"Fix ya face or you won't get any at all."

"That's not fair!" she pouted harder, folding her arms over her chest.

"Life isn't fair, Lil' Mama."

"This is some bullshit," she fussed as she walked to the couch.

"Bet. I'll keep this sweet cream and oreo shit to myself," he teased, noticing how her mouth dropped in shock. Erik's grin only widened as he walked over to the couch with their food and drinks.

"So what we watching, Bianca Boo?" he asked, reaching for the remote.

"First of all, my name is O'Shea."

"You're acting like a brat so your name is Bianca, now answer my question."

"Can we watch Hercules?"

"Fuckin' child," he mumbled as he pressed play on the movie. The couple ate, sang, and smoked as they breezed through their little Disney movie marathon. From Hercules to Mulan to The Emperor's New Groove they relived their childhoods while the Green Goddess indica worked its magic to mellow them both out and allow them to talk and bond on a more personal level. Several hours into the Disney and chill session, O'Shea figured she'd try her luck again. She noted how much more mellow Erik was when he was under the influence, using this opportunity to fully appreciate how good he looked dressed down. The charcoal gray turtleneck clung to his muscles effortlessly, barely covering the Patek Phillipe watch on his left wrist. His black slacks fit him well, as though they were tailor-made just for him. Her eyes remained glued to the bulge in his pants as he sat with his legs spread wide on the couch. O'Shea fought hard to keep herself from staring, but of course, Erik noticed. He had been watching her watch him for the last 20 minutes and the beast within him noticed too.

"You gone suck or just stare at it?" Killmonger growled, startling O'Shea from her shameless eyefucking. The deep timbre of his voice had her quaking and before he could change his mind, she dropped down to her knees in front of him, seizing her moment to strike him down to a base level of weakness. Surely he could not withstand her oral talent no matter what contenders he'd faced before. Skylar was a master of oral sex when it came to women, but O'Shea was the oracle when it came to men. She looked up at him innocently as she took him into her mouth, lightly teasing his tip with gentle licks before finally taking as much of him as she could down her throat. Though she was cursed with a gag reflex, she was still a master at her craft and the way he was moaning above her proved that she hadn't lost her touch. His stout, thick fingers found their way into her curly mane, lightly gripping her tresses to help guide her head up and down his shaft.

"Just like that, Shea. Grip that shit, stroke what you can't fit in that wet ass mouth," he encouraged. O'Shea moaned around his shaft, using his praises as encouragement to show out on the dick. She wasn't sure when she'd get him this loose again and wanted to make sure this experience was memorable. Just as she was finding her groove, he made the most awful sound above her.

"Ah, shit! What the fuck?!"

"Wait, stop moving!"

"That shit hurt, what the fuck did you just do to me?" In all of the 5 years that O'Shea had had her braces, never once had they gotten caught on anyone. Leave it to Erik Stevens to be the unlucky contender.

"I-I'm sorry, that's never happened before," she said fighting back her laughter. He was being more dramatic than the situation really called for.

"Oh, that shit's funny to you? I'm fucking bleeding."

"You're not, but ok," she said standing from her position on the floor.

"Man move," he fussed, rushing to the bathroom to assess the damages.

20 minutes. 20 whole minutes was how long he left her to her own psyche while he calmed down. He knew she didn't mean to do it, but the fact that she laughed is what really pissed him off. Once he composed himself, he walked out to see her back on the couch with her head down towards the floor. He didn't speak to her, only went to the kitchen to throw away the trash and grab his keys.

"So are you going to leave and not speak to me? I told you it was an accident."

"I know, Buttercup and I'm not upset. I just think it's a good idea to end this session where it is. I'll have Harper contact you about your next appointment. Have a good night." With that and a kiss to the back of her hand, he walked outside and back to his car, leaving O'Shea a confused, sad mess. She didn't do well with people being mad at her, especially at this point in her life when her little personalities were fully functioning entities. The buzz of her phone brought her out of her psyche.

"Daddy's sorry for the way he left you, Buttercup. I meant what I said about not being angry at what happened, but what really pissed me off is the fact that you thought it was funny."

"But you laugh at my pain all the time," she replied meekly, curling up into a ball on the couch.

"I don't laugh at your pain, I laugh at the fact that you think you run shit. How about this, let's meet somewhere and talk about it."

"Where?"

"Cold Stones."

"But I have ice cream in the freezer."

"Since when have you turned down more?"

"Touché. Give me 10 minutes." She quickly dressed, happy that he wasn't upset and that he still wanted to continue their therapy and build their potential relationship. Though he was indeed her therapist, she felt comfortable with him. More comfortable than she had felt with anyone in a long time and if she were being honest, it scared her. She hated how vulnerable she was around him having been so guarded for most of her life, yet she liked that she could be her true self without fear of judgment and ridicule for her behavior. The benefits of having him as her therapist outweighed her fears. He got her on a level that no one else had before, not even Sky.

Excitedly, she met him in the air-conditioned shop finding him with ice cream in hand. On her approach, he rested his palm atop her head as if to say welcome.

"So now I'm a dog?"

"Nah, you just small. Have a seat, baby girl." She sat down beside him and began eating the cold sugary concoction of sweet cream, chocolately brownie chunks, crumbled graham crackers and walnuts all drizzled with thick caramel. She bounced happily in her seat as the divine mixture set her tastebuds ablaze. This was one of her all-time favorite combinations and she was glad he'd remembered it to the smallest detail. He smiled as he watched her smiling and bouncing in her element, happy that she was happy. She was eating so fast that she dripped ice cream onto her chin and brand new royal purple Disney spirit jersey. She pouted, but he merely grabbed a napkin and cleaned her mess.

"Why the long face, Buttercup? I thought a messy little girl was a happy little girl."

"Sky just bought this for me, though. I didn't want to get it dirty. There's even a stain on Mickey." She turned her body slightly to show him the smudged caramel on the sparkly D emblem.

"Well that won't do, will it? You're welcome to take it off. You wouldn't want to spill again."

"But I'm not wearing another shirt," she pouted further.

"Less material to worry about. You should enjoy your ice cream freely. Do remove the shirt, Buttercup.. for your own good." She nodded, slowly lifting the sweatshirt over her head and laying it on the table. He grabbed and folded it neatly before placing it on the booth beside him. Now free from the constraints of the jersey, she tore into her ice cream like a woman starved.

"Doesn't that feel better? Your sweater is now safe from any harm and Daddy will worry about having it cleaned. That's not something a little girl should concern herself with."

"Yes Daddy, thank you," she said with a wide grin. It had been so long since she had been allowed to freely be in her little space, especially to this degree and it was nice to put the stresses and worries of adulting to the side, even if it were just for a little while.

"Um... I'm sorry sir, but um.. shirts are required in this establishment... Sorry..," the gangly scooper spoke nervously, obviously intimidated by his stature though he was not in his imposing state. The anxiety in the guy's eyes rubbed him the wrong way. Another negative profile. If that was the case while he wore a sweater and a name brand watch, he thought, the man deserved to feel fearful.

"Several pale skinned patrons are wearing sports bras and cropped bandeau tops, similar to my date's. Are you going to say the same to them?" Erik asked with a raised eyebrow watching the guy stammer in distress.

"I- It's just- Nevermind," the scooper stumbled, making his way back behind the counter. He started to pick up a phone, but when Erik made eye contact and mouthed a message, he put the phone back down.

"What did you say just now," O'Shea inquired, looking from the counter back to Erik's peaceful expression. The behavior of the scooper didn't match his face.

"Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about, Buttercup. Take your time. Finish your ice cream and we'll be on our way." O'Shea shrugged but continued to bounce happily as she ate her ice cream, even going as far as to ask Erik for another bowl for later. Because of the way he behaved earlier, he obliged.

"Whadya know, Buttercup! We got this one free."

"Yay!" she squealed, happily thanking the fearful scooper who nodded without eye contact.

"I-It was no trouble, really," he stuttered, eyes never leaving Erik's menacing scowl. As the couple turned to leave, Erik bucked at the young scooper, laughing loudly at the way he flinched, dropping a tower of ice cream all over himself.

"Damn, nigga. You need to lift weights or something," he smirked opening the glass door for O'Shea.

"Where do you wanna go now, Buttercup?" he asked as he brushed a rogue curl behind her ear.

"I wish it wasn't so late. I really wanna go to Disneyland." Erik checked his watch and noted that the park would indeed be closing soon.

"We can't get into the park, but Downtown Disney is still open."

"Ooh can we go to Salt & Straw?" she asked, bouncing on her toes.

"Buttercup you just had ice cream and got a free one to go. Not to mention you still have ice cream in the freezer from earlier."

"Yeah, but none of those were honey lavender with whipped cream and a waffle cone," she pouted.

'You're right, but considering the fact that I'm a doctor who also cares about your physical health, the answer is still no. You are sweet enough." She was upset but didn't protest further for fear that he'd just decide to take her back to her house. No matter how upset she was, Disney fixed everything. As the pair roamed the district, O'Shea's eyes grew wide watching Erik walk into to the Pandora shop. She'd been wanting new charms for her princess-themed bracelet forever, but never had the time or the extra funds to splurge on herself the way she wanted.

"How about I make my Buttercup something special?" he beamed down at her, rubbing circles into the small of her back.

"Oooh, what is it?" she asked happily.

"It's a surprise, but why don't you go get us two of those honey lavender cones and it'll be done by the time you get back."

"Ok!" she squealed happily, taking his card and running out of the store before he changed his mind again. It took her all of 10 minutes to go and come back with her half-eaten cone and his full one. Her grin was wide as she regarded Erik standing in front of the counter with both hands behind his back. His shit-eating grin was back like he knew he was that nigga. And at this moment, he was.

"Whatcha got back there, Daddy?"

"Just a little something for my second favorite princess," he replied stepping closer to her. "Close your eyes and hold out your left wrist." She quickly complied and her beaming grin grew even wider as she felt the cold metal against her skin.

"Alright, open." He watched smugly as her eyes opened and widened. Her heart was so full she thought it would burst. She hadn't even realized that he had slipped her princess bracelet off her wrist until she saw it in its complete form.

"You finished my bracelet?"

"Yes ma'am, chronologically just the way you had it and I started your villain one." Her fingers toyed delicately with the Tinkerbell and poisoned apple charms on the princess bracelet before moving to Maleficent and the Evil Queen charms on the villain bracelet. Then her eyes met his. She wanted to cry.

"Thank you so much, Daddy."

"Anything for my Buttercup. I even left off Anna and Elsa because I know those are the ones you like the least." Again, he'd remembered something seemingly frivolous solely because he knew it was important to her. She felt her little heart swell two sizes.

"You're the best, really." She rewarded him with a sweet kiss on the lips, which he deepened when he grabbed her chin and added a little tongue. Just enough to leave her wanting.

"Come on, pretty girl. Let's get you home, we both have work in the morning."

—————————————

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If you’re open. For one, japanese polls show fans wanted Yamcha for the tournament. Super had filler mocking Yamcha as a loser who Gohan & Co try to prevent from learning of the tournament. The latest Herms translation on a Q&A for the Anime on why Yamcha wasn’t at the tournament, gave Goku's reason as he(Goku) thought little of Yamcha. I'd call that a dig, personally. If I was writing Super's I wouldn't do stuff things like that as they further divide, anger, or alienate the fandom for Super.

Hmm, okay I see your points there, and it’s understandable that Yamcha fans are upset.

Okay, for one thing though… how do you know the stuff with Yamcha in the saga isn’t Toriyama’s idea? The whole thing with him just expecting to be recruited and going home to wait seems more like an excuse to keep him out of the plot than a dig at the fans. And while I get taking issue with that idea… let’s think about it from a creative standpoint.

The tournament only has ten spots available. Extending the rosters to include more members would put a lot more work on Toriyama, Toyotaro and any other character designers at Toei to come up with that many more characters from other universes, of which this saga basically has close to a hundred new ones.

Each character is there for a reason. Goku and Vegeta can’t not be on the roster. Gohan’s been set up for his comeback for a while, and Piccolo can’t be passed up. Krillin is Goku’s best friend and the strongest earthling, so he has to be there. Android 18 is the only high tier action girl in the Z fighters, and Android 17 was brought back because he’s underdeveloped and hasn’t been seen since his cameo at the end of the Buu saga. So this was the perfect opportunity to use him, since this whole tournament setting benefits from teamwork between the warriors. Majin Buu was initially chosen to fill out a spot because he’s the most powerful non-saiyan. Master Roshi is on the roster because a running theme of this saga seems to involve experience and skill at fighting being often more valuable than raw power, and master Roshi is the wise old master character. He fits with that better than anyone else.

Tien is really the only one without a clearly definited role or reason for being here other than that he’s strong and fans love him. His role from what we’ve seen and the synopsis for the next episode seems to mainly be about supporting the other characters. A role Yamcha could have easily filled too, but then you’d have Tien fans angry that he was being excluded to service Yamcha, so either character gets the short end of the stick however that played out.

Frieza taking up Majin Buu’s spot seems to be a major plot point for the saga, because Toriyama wouldn’t bring him back again unless he has a good reason. But of course, Toei needed an excuse for why any other character couldn’t have been brought up by the Z fighters when Majin Buu started hibernating, because seriously, that’s a huge risk that’s not worth taking if there’s a better option.

Goten and Trunks were explained away because they’re too young, inexperienced and uncoordinated for this kind of tournament. Not unfounded, given how they handled fighting Majin Buu as Gotenks.

Yamcha though, he was an obvious back up choice for if one of the other characters couldn’t compete, and obviously viewers were going to notice that. And even if he wasn’t written as wanting to get back into fighting, he would never refuse such an offer knowing the universe was at stake.

So an excuse had to be made, since Toriyama wanted Frieza for some yet to be reached plot reason (Notice that character’s like Jaco weren’t even acknowledged and they skipped out on the chance to canonize Pikkon aswell, like some fans wanted).

And there was a way around it. Yamcha had already retired from fighting back at the Cell saga, Goku knows this by now and so wouldn’t expect Yamcha to still be in fighting shape by this time. Keep in mind, back in the Champa saga he initially turned down Vegeta’s suggestion to recruit Gohan, not because he thought he was a bad choice, but because he knew Gohan was rusty and not really a fighter anymore, and they needed someone who could already fight at their best for the tournament. As soon as Goku learned that Gohan had been training with Piccolo and he asked Goku if he could compete, Goku was more than okay with it until the conference thing came up.

Same thing probably would apply to Yamcha in this tournament. Goku didn’t even know who he wanted for the tenth member until Oolong told him Roshi was with Tien. He had no real reason to assume Yamcha would have wanted to join the roster, since he’d been out of fighting so long. And the only chance he would have got to recruit Yamcha was at Bulma’s place, and as soon as the tournament came up Yamcha was all like “Hey, I wanna join too!! But wait, maybe I should wait for them to ask me? Yeah, that’s it, I’ll go home and wait, then turn em down, and then make a grand entrance at the last minute”

It was silly and a bit weird since Yamcha’s not one for showboating usually (Though not necessarily above doing silly things), but it got him out of the way long enough for Goku to recruit a full team and then Frieza. It’s not clear if this whole situation was Toriyama’s or Toei’s idea, but Toriyama was definitely the one to decide the roster and who was going to do what in this saga. So he would have been responsible for Yamcha not competing anyway, so I wouldn’t put the situation above him. Heck, it feels like something he probably thought up on the spot while he was writing the outline, wrote it down real quick and didn’t too hard about it before handing it off to Toei and Toyotaro, who were stuck with it at that point. We’ll know for sure what exactly the situation is when the manga’s a bit further ahead and we see what Toyotaro’s excuse is. If it’s more or less exactly the same, then we can safely say it was Toriyama’s idea and thus not filler by Toei.

Also, where did Gohan or anyone try to hide that the tournament was happening from Yamcha or demean him over it. Goku and co mentioned the tournament was happening right in front of him, that’s what caused him to suddenly run off the way he did. No one ever said he couldn’t be in the tournament, nor did they mock him over it. They just didn’t think to ask him, because again, Goku and the others knew he was supposedly retired and thus didn’t immediately think of him as a candidate any more than they did Videl. Everyone acted pretty normally around him, the only exception being Vegeta showing annoyance when Bulla started crying, but the same thing had just happened when Mr Satan tried to make her laugh so that wasn’t anything against Yamcha. Just a throw away gag.

Oolong is the only character who tried to dance around the subject, and that was when Yamcha directly asked him if the others might recruit him after the roster had already been filled, and Oolong didn’t want to disappoint him. Otherwise, there’s no implication anybody would have turned him down or derided his fighting ability if he had just openly asked about the tournament when he had the chance. They didn’t think twice about having Yamcha play baseball with them, because they all knew he was great at that and he would have been the most useful person to help out.

It’s sad that Yamcha ended up screwing himself out of a place on the team, but that was more due to his own ego, not because any of the other characters thought badly about him. Nothing about his scenes really paints him as pathetic or a loser, just that he had gotten ahead of himself and made a silly mistake.

I don’t think this running gag was meant to deride or attack the character. Otherwise the writers would have had the characters openly mock him a lot more, turn him down when he asked, and have him end up feeling dejected. But he wasn’t especially upset at all when the others left to fight in the tournament. He was sheepish and embarrassed with himself when Puar expressed sympathy for him being left out, and he looked rightfully suspicious about Frieza, but he ultimately laughed it off as one of those things, and when everybody did leave he got serious for a moment and wished them luck, saying that they had to win. Which goes to show that Yamcha has his priorities straight and that the fate of the universe matters more than him getting a chance to strut his stuff.

This entire situation could have definitely been handled better and wasn’t a funny joke, but honestly I don’t get the feeling that Yamcha was being intentionally derided or mocked by the writers. If anything, the joke seems to be that he could have probably avoided the situation he made for himself and got what he wanted if he stopped being silly and just asked Goku directly if he could be on the team. Which, again, dumb joke. Not necessarily an attack at the character, or his fans.

The thing with the Q & A sounds suspicious, I agree, and I can’t really say too much without knowing the full context. It could be just the one person doing the interview giving it his own two cents and not really talking for Toriyama or the writing staff, in which case shame on him. Or maybe the intention was lost, and he’s just meaning that in the sense that Goku didn’t think of Yamcha because he’s been out of the game so long that he’s probably very out of shape, similar to his reasoning with Gohan for the U6 tournament. Which, that’s not too bad, though not exactly fair on Yamcha either. I dunno, feel free to be annoyed with that one.

I get being upset with how Yamcha’s been treated. I’m not really happy with it either, I’d love to see more done with Yamcha because I do love his character, I’m just not offended or angry because I don’t think there’s any intentional disrespect towards him. Just that the writers aren’t sure what to do with his character, since Toriyama clearly isn’t giving them anything for him to do in the main stories. Which, yeah that’s not a good excuse, but it’s one I can live with, and it’s what feels like the case rather than them having it out for the guy.

It’s good to hear that Japanese fans wanted more of Yamcha. Maybe that’ll encourage Toei to push Toriyama to do something with him in the future, or maybe give him his own story’s or character arc in a breather episode or two after this saga wraps up. Maybe finally give him a girlfriend that doesn’t treat him like Bulma did. For all we know, Toei and Toriyama might just not have considered that he had so much support while planning the saga.

Although, a lot of Western fans wanted Cell on the roster instead of Frieza, and that wouldn’t necessarily have been for the better in terms of the story. Sometimes what fans want isn’t always going to be in the best interests of the story. We already had two characters, Krillin and Gohan, who’s had to have character arcs developed about them wanting to pick up martial arts again and get stronger leading into and during the current saga, three if you count Master Roshi given his interaction with Ganos in today’s episode and the “secret training” he’s apparently been doing for a while for years now to be able to fight fairly in the tournament of power.

Having the last remaining character besides Videl who had given up being a martial artist and more active member of the Z fighters, and that might start feeling redundant or pushing things too far, having so many characters suddenly getting stronger again so soon to the level that they can seriously compete with the warriors from the other universes. I mean, look around at how many people are outright angry for some reason that Krillin was able to put up any kind of fight against people at all.

And none of this is to say that leaving Yamcha out and have him play so little a role in Super so far is justified or that you can’t be disappointed and annoyed over it as a fan of the character, or how it’s been handled. Feel free to do so. And you have a point being concerned that this might make the divides in the fandom even worse, though that’s more down to the idiots in the fandom being stupid and fueling their own confirmation biases than anything. Same reason I don’t truly hate TFS for the problems they’ve caused, because at least several members like Kaiserneko acknowledge their bad influence and they never meant to create such levels of toxicity in the fandom. Careless fans who can’t understand that something is a parody are responsible for that.

you have a right to be mad. But personally, I don’t think any of these things are intentionally digs at fans so much as they are ignorance on Toei’s part. Who knows, maybe Toriyama actually has a plan and this thing with Yamcha this saga is actually leading to something down the line, won’t know until we’re a lot further into Super. Things could improve, but it is frustrating the way things are going so far and I don’t blame you for being in a bad mood.

I don’t think the situation’s as bad as you do, but then again maybe I’m just not as passionate about Yamcha as you are and I see things from a different perspective. This is all I can really say on the subject, I’m sure I can’t really do much to change your mind and you do have some good points and reasons to feel the way you do.

Let’s both just hope that things start looking up for Yamcha in the future, and that Toyotaro doesn’t actually have the characters directly insult Yamcha for wanting to compete or something like that when he gets further ahead in the manga. Because honestly with his writing, I wouldn’t put it past him to do exactly what you think the anime is doing.

Liam & Edie

Liam: [sends her some kind of coded thing where the answer equals 6 when she works it out so she knows he's not living his best life without her because they're both weird little nerds] Edie: I'm so insanely bored Edie: what lesson are you in and how many negative ⭐s is it Liam: german Liam: all the negatives Liam: [sends her a picture of his textbook with everyone's eyes stabbed out via pencil holes like miss you] Edie: awh, you wanna give me schadenfreude 😍🥴 Edie: that's generous Edie: I was just thinking that a Columbine would liven this place up Liam: write your list, I'll try & think of anyone I'd wanna keep off mine except for you Edie: but being the last ones standing is what we aim for Edie: and what I want right now Liam: anything else you want before I kick that plan off? Edie: don't need time to say any final farewells to any dickhead in this place Liam: you've got a steadier hand, I'll need you to carve no farewells onto the bullets Edie: more deserving use of my time than whatever I'm not being taught right now Edie: how's your aim though? Liam: -9 ⭐s for the lesson you're in Liam: but + it for my aim Edie: my fault for naively thinking Physics might be interesting when I picked it Edie: forgot we were catering for the braindead masses Edie: I believe it, no bullshit brag detected Liam: chemistry would've let you blow more things up Liam: & make 💊 Edie: 😤 I'm mad Edie: no amount of black holes are gonna make up for this Liam: we'll learn it online Edie: but I wanna blow things up with you now Edie: or not learn German vocab Liam: let's go blow up a 🚽 they have to let you out in case you're about to bleed or cry in front of everyone Edie: and am I? Liam: in front of me & whoever else is in there Liam: unless you wanna upload it after Edie: I do need to make the overreaction my fam had over the weekend worth the headache Edie: owed more trouble, like Liam: my dad was on one too, he's the only one not allowed to show up by his logic Liam: you want a bigger scale? every 🚽 in the building Liam: maybe school would have to shut Edie: Know that, my sister is the definition of one rule for her, another for the rest of us Edie: I reckon we could do 'em all without getting caught in the act Edie: more fun after the fact 📹 to claim it Liam: just need to get creative with our explosives, I won't have enough 🧨 to do every bathroom Liam: you in the labs or a standard classroom? Edie: labs Edie: she's scheduled a breakdown any moment now anyway, she's always pissing off to cry herself so I'll take my opportunity and cue as such Liam: 3 HNO3 + C6H7(OH)3O2  H2SO4 →  C6H7(ONO2)3O2 + 3 H2O Liam: only need nitric & sulphuric acid from you Edie: you're a hot evil genius, okay Liam: there's a story behind it but maybe I shouldn't give it to you Liam: keep that train of thought intact Edie: but I need it Edie: I can keep 'em both on track, trust me Liam: you need it? tell me about that first Edie: I love stories Edie: and I liked talking to you, a lot Edie: and I like it when you give me things Edie: so yeah, it's a need Liam: to make you happy then Liam: the year is 1846 and this german-swiss scientist was messing in his kitchen Liam: he spilled a mixture of those 2 acids I told you to get on his table & grabbed the first thing he had about to clean it up Liam: happened to be a cotton apron & he hung it on his oven door to dry after, super chill until it exploded Edie: that's perfect Edie: scientists really loved making shit happen on accident, just like all life Edie: 🧫🦠 Liam: I was an accident & look how that turned out Edie: Big same Liam: my sister too, different loser dad though Edie: yeah? Edie: we've got that in common too Liam: does seem to be pretty common Edie: happy little accidents Edie: or not so Liam: I don't wanna be like that Liam: the different girls bit at least Edie: people love repeating their parents mistakes and bullshit Edie: even when they railed on it for years Edie: I don't fucking get it Edie: make your own, at least Liam: maybe you'll think this is one but I gotta say it Liam: I don't care about claiming 🚽💥 I wanna claim you Liam: be with me Edie: You mean it Edie: no bullshit Liam: only if there's bullshit that comes with being official & exclusive all of that Edie: I think that's a really, really good idea Edie: not a mistake but even if it was, I still want it Liam: alright, it's yours, me & the gay 🖤 shit Edie: [sends him a 🥰 selfie] Liam: it's my background Edie: you were already mine Edie: [glitter moment shamelessly] Liam: took the longest shower & I'm still finding it 🗺❌ Edie: good thing you suit it Edie: we can try again though, after the literal shitstorm, a shower is a good idea Liam: yeah, wouldn't suit that Liam: german teacher can disagree as loud as she wants Edie: 😏 Edie: can keep their filth and their hands to themselves Liam: I respect that you only covered me in glitter so that those girls would think I was gay & do the same Edie: people gotta respect territory Edie: works until I perfect your tat Liam: I'll get on the school roof with a 📢 Edie: You're everything Liam: you can sample it when you write a song about me Edie: I will Edie: your friend is not getting a feature Liam: his loss Liam: I'll only gloat for a while Edie: you can go as hard as you want, I reckon Edie: you've earnt it, like Liam: I'll go as hard as you want Liam: you're my girl now Edie: I'm yours Liam: make your physics teacher cry for me then Liam: we've got shit to do Edie: 😄 Edie: done Edie: where are we meeting when I'm fully done and have secured the shit? Liam: [a location] Edie: 👍 Liam: 🔜 Edie: making people cry is a speciality of mine Liam: it won't work on me Edie: I don't want to make you cry Edie: ever Liam: good thing I can't ever, all that toxic masculinity Edie: not missing out on much Edie: even if Miss makes a proper performance out of it Edie: more fun ways to do that Liam: yeah there are Edie: 💣💥 Liam: don't have to hand you a 🧨 to cause 🎇🎆 Edie: you don't even know how true that is Edie: yet Liam: for now it's a guess Edie: I'll show you Liam: I just wanna feel something Liam: that's not only 💊🥤 Edie: I will make that happen Edie: you don't need to believe me, just wait Liam: I'm waiting Edie: you deserve to feel everything Liam: I've tried but it don't work out like that Edie: you can't? Edie: or only certain emotions Liam: there's no 💣💥 in me Edie: we can be dead inside together and make it happen to everyone else Edie: for now Edie: [show up] Liam: [just kiss her too hard because everything you do is a little bit too much boy, okay you're numb but there's too many emotions trapped under the surface that we're not addressing so] Edie: [thank god we're so overwhelmed ourselves that we can just roll with this and have it be the most extra thing] Liam: [this is why you two work] Edie: [just approaching this like you aren't her first honey not even 'cos we're fronting but feelings and trying to make you feel things] Liam: [realistically who have you ever slept with either boy unless you've gotten with one of Rio's friends casually prior to this or something like] Edie: [just out here doing the most from the jump, the fam must be like HELLO???] Liam: [shouldn't be here for it but I am] Edie: [we all are by all I mean us and them, no one else lol] Liam: [imagine how shook he'd be because didn't expect it to be like this] Edie: [awkward, like the levels you must pay attention to no one but Rio 'cos she isn't really conspicuous in how she be lol] Liam: [and if he did get with one of Rio's friends when he first started stalking her it clearly didn't work out so he's probably bracing himself for another failed attempt and then] Edie: [it makes logical sense, like tryna get in the friend group lowkey but none of her friends are really here for it[ Liam: [yeah and like in my head he started stalking Rio when his sister had just died so he wouldn't have been bringing his A game] Edie: [exactly dr phil] Liam: [but obviously nothing happened that she could clock as a red flag when she's thinking of suspects he was probably just really blah because numb] Edie: [yeah, and none of her friends are gonna chat shit on the boy who's sister just died really like it's to be expected] Liam: [it's a good cover like you said] Edie: [just sat here like it's so rude we're gonna kill Edie, as if it wasn't rude before] Liam: [I do feel so bad for him even though he literally fucks with Rio's entire life] Edie: [lol same, it's like if you could just stop doing that tah] Liam: [I think it's partly because we both know she ends up okay and living as happy a life as poss whereas he does not] Edie: [yeah, there's no hope and that's just sad, even if you were an absolute dick, like Ro, per example, still sad she dies for everyone else] Liam: [agreed] Edie: [and you aren't that insufferable boy which is just well] Liam: [nobody is, she's next level] Liam: [anyway also do your vandalism and have way more fun than you expected with that as well] Edie: [when it's just a moment for you immediately and you're all in] Liam: [do we wanna close the school or not let them destroy every bathroom in the place for various reasons lol?] Edie: [on the one hand, maybe get caught before you do every bathroom for that trouble mood, on the other, if you shamelessly upload it you'd get in more trouble for making the school look dumb and shit hmm, I think this time get caught and we'll let you be sneaky trouble causing nerds plenty of other times[ Liam: [I'm about that, we know you're both pretty distracted rn so] Edie: [it feels more legit for this instance, and we can separate you and they'd probably call Ali in for the drama of it] Liam: [you can work your way into the fam later boy you're trying to keep your gf highkey for now, I love the idea of both their mums getting called in and awkwardly meeting haha] Edie: [they'd lowkey want them to kick up a fuss and separate them for the school but Ali knows how well that works so it's like well soz you'll have to cope] Liam: [whereas his mum is the opposite, you know the sort never backs the kid and is just wholeheartedly like yes do whatever you think @ the school] Edie: [ahh the joys] Edie: [once that drama has unfurled and you're in your separate detention moments, sending him a pic from the school website of all the staff but she's digitally ❌d out all their eyes] Liam: I miss you too Edie: I hope so Liam: what else would I be doing? Edie: I don't know Edie: you are full of good ideas Liam: I was thinking about setting the fire alarm off Edie: an acceptable second to thinking about me constantly Edie: would hate to perish in a fire with all these cunts Liam: to be with you Liam: I'd get you before they made you line up in the playground for the head count Edie: then we can leave, like we planned Edie: they'll have let our mas fuck off by now Liam: 🗑🔥 Liam: boring if it wasn't for you Edie: you're like Edie: seeing a new colour Liam: maybe I should leave you there longer so you can work on your song about me Edie: don't though Edie: I know it sounds cliche but that's the only way I can explain how blindsided but transformed I feel from you Liam: you're the only person who's said it, don't think that's how cliches work Edie: I don't just say pretty things for the sake of it Edie: or anything Edie: I mean it, regardless of what it does or don't sound like Liam: I know you mean it Edie: if we both set one, it'll take them longer to get back inside Edie: hide and seek and we can finish what we started? Liam: you're on Edie: 3️⃣2️⃣1️⃣ Liam: 1️⃣ 2️⃣ 3️⃣ Edie: [ahh this poor school lol] Liam: [love that you get to be notorious though gal cos peeps gonna be talking about these antics for ages] Edie: [in this fam you have to make your own rep or life is really hard junie and grace, I said what I said] Liam: [tea though] Liam: [I'm trying to think of somewhere cool they could go and my first thought was like a junkyard vibe so they can destroy more things like life is strange and sex education unless you have any better ideas] Edie: [that's always a mood, also very akin to the barn which will clearly be your domain so] Liam: [yeah and somewhere she's probably been loads of times that she knows all the hiding places of so they don't need to be interrupted again] Edie: [live your best destructive lives] Liam: [when he would be and lowkey forget what he's meant to be doing here, such fun, not devastating me at all] Edie: [the theme of these painful two years lmao, I'm so glad you never find out babe truly] Liam: [though ngl I wish you could survive and we could see if y'all as a couple could survive that] Edie: [ahh when you can't do it all, so rude] Liam: [could've had it all rolling in the deep] Edie: [soz you've got to die my love] Liam: [soz you both have, his poor mother] Edie: [yeah that is no fun] Liam: [soz both your kids are dead babe but we need it for the plot] Edie: [some people have the worst luck truly]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: you done 🐕🏃? Janis: yeah, just about Janis: what you up to? Jimmy: how long for? Jimmy: ages? Janis: I'm walking my last lot now so Janis: where's the 🔥 dickhead Jimmy: at the 🏖 Jimmy: you wanna come or what? Janis: oh, alright for some Janis: finally put your 😎 to some real use Jimmy: will do in a bit Jimmy: if we EVER leave 🏠 Jimmy: 🙄🙄🙄 Janis: can't find your best 👙? Janis: 💔 Jimmy: I'm waiting for you, obvs Jimmy: get a move on ☀️ girl Janis: alright, why not Jimmy: not gonna 🏃 my own 🐕 am I? Jimmy: earn your 💰 Jessica Janis: 🖕 Janis: she might be my fave customer but you're my least fave owner so Janis: drags her well ⬇ Jimmy: 😏 Janis: poor pup Jimmy: she won't be 💔 now you're going Janis: goes without saying Janis: have to deal with how #gutted you are Jimmy: sit next to my 🤬 sister then, can't I? Jimmy: 🥇 company Janis: what's making her 🤬 today Janis: besides you Jimmy: needs nowt else Jimmy: I'd be 😒 if I didn't have a top mate to bring Janis: fair Janis: been on enough outings with my siblings shit mates in tow Janis: least you can tell her I won't be all over you or anything this time Jimmy: did do, only reason she agreed, DUH Jimmy: nowt to do with how bored she is Janis: welcome to the real 🌍 init Jimmy: You'd reckon I invited Ian and Sharon how she's going on Jimmy: try and do a 🏆 big brother of the year thing Jimmy: just chuck myself in front of the train instead Janis: top starving artist thing though Janis: can't be appreciated in your own lifetime Jimmy: be about right, that Jimmy: and I get that I'm not really making this #goals so if you don't wanna it's alright Jimmy: as sales pitches go Janis: we're all bored, like Janis: but yeah, get your dad to give you some pointers when he's having his #mantoman Jimmy: bit late, I've had that Janis: oh, yeah? Jimmy: any chance to be a bellend, he don't hang about Jimmy: got in there soon as you pissed off Janis: wow, showing Shaz a well good time then Janis: 🙄 Janis: look forward to when she tells me all about that #justbetweenusgirls Jimmy: she weren't there long after you, mission accomplished ✔ Jimmy: you might be going dress shopping with the next one, soz like Janis: 👍 Janis: as long as she's a bleach blonde, not fussy Jimmy: neither's he, you're alright Janis: #fated? Jimmy: gonna get the bleach out, are you? Jimmy: don't reckon the ☀'ll do enough for you Janis: rude, just 'cos I'm getting a new best mate Janis: don't be jealous Jimmy: just looking forward to you having a tan that ain't out of a bottle tbh Janis: not that twin Janis: your 💌 got lost Jimmy: 💔🎻😭 Janis: emojis is her preferred method of communication Jimmy: I'll leave her a youtube comment, make yourself scarce, tah Janis: I'm going 🏖 Janis: fill your boots Jimmy: bit of a weird coincidence, that Janis: yeah, if you invite her, I'll be 🤬 as well Jimmy: What would I invite her for? Jimmy: don't need a babysitter Janis: hmm Jimmy: alright, dickhead Jimmy: do you wanna be uninvited? Janis: don't be a 👶 and prove my point, boy Janis: I'll 🤐 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: lasses mature faster, that ain't my fault, only an actual proven point Janis: we'll leave out you ain't hit puberty if it's all the same to you Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Jimmy: oh THAT'S why my skin's so clear Jimmy: no need to drop my #nighttimeroutine now Janis: such a twat Jimmy: yeah and? Janis: 🤐 yourself Jimmy: but I LOVE a bit of feedback, me Jimmy: ask Bill's 👻 Janis: you NEVER take his notes, liar Jimmy: bollocks do I not Jimmy: always 👂 to him Janis: why you so crap at fake dating then? 🤔 Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: I'm 🥇 Janis: 👌 Jimmy: you'd said it before now Jimmy: if any dickhead's lying, it's you Janis: I said it 'cos I'm 🥇 Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't be grumpy Janis: if you were shit, we wouldn't still be doing it Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: marding at me 'cause my balls ain't dropped Janis: stop it Janis: lesbian would be a preferable rep Jimmy: til you've got 💀👑 after you Janis: you want me to say it's better than 12 year olds? Janis: 'cos obviously but fuck off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 😒 Jimmy: you wanna leave it out now? Janis: oh, I get it Jimmy: ? Janis: trying your #daddy bit again Jimmy: you wish, girl Janis: *👶girl Jimmy: 🤢 Janis: how rude Jimmy: I'm not fake calling you that, don't care if it's bad manners Janis: 🤷 Janis: if you don't wanna make 💀👑 💚🤢 Jimmy: I can do without that bollocks Janis: go 🥇 or go home Janis: could do without all of it really Jimmy: I am 🏠 hurry up, like Janis: I'm on my way, keep your 😎 on Jimmy: keep your 🧢 on, Joanne Jimmy: oh no hang on, you're fucked it's ⛅ Janis: nah, you're alright Janis: straightened it Jimmy: sounds fake Jimmy: if you're gonna bother lying 🥉 at least Janis: words have an impact Janis: think before you bully Jimmy: 📷 do an' all Jimmy: show us Janis: keen Jimmy: to show you up as talking bollocks Jimmy: always Janis: for me to show up Janis: definitely Jimmy: that'd do an' all Janis: sweet Janis: one more drop off Jimmy: the 🍬🍬 are for the journey but alright you can have one before if you don't say owt to the others Janis: you know me Janis: 🤐 always Jimmy: which 🐕 is it? Janis: not your rival Janis: the fat pug thing Jimmy: were gonna say bring it instead of ours but nah Janis: poor thing breathes worse than you 🚬 Jimmy: every lass would be shitting themselves that there's a perv on the train Janis: another one, anyway Jimmy: Oi, it's just my ☠ lungs Jimmy: stop making me breathless and we'll be alright Janis: unless you truly have invited the gals on a road trip, you won't have to fake that Jimmy: 🥇💡 Jimmy: too late or? Janis: you joking? they need 3-5 business days to get ready for school and we have a fucking uniform Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: you know that Janis: yeah Janis: we could do something like that though, might be useful Jimmy: should probably ask 'em what they're doing a bit an' all Janis: you can do that Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you're better at it Jimmy: dunno if that's a compliment or an insult but alright Janis: take it as a compliment so you take on all the work Janis: I just Janis: I hate them more than you do Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I know Janis: take the 🥇 and 😇 Jimmy: not til I say we don't have to go to whatever bollocks party they're 🗨 about at a guess Jimmy: it's alright Jimmy: I can fake something here 🏠 whenever Jimmy: and you're still 🥇 Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: but we're trying to make shit easier, that's the whole plan, and all I'm saying Janis: and trying to fuck their shit up, all I'm saying Jimmy: okay Janis: if I didn't wanna do it no more, I'd tell you Jimmy: Good Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll leave it out now Janis: it's whatever Janis: I'm on my way to yours now, sorry took so long Jimmy: 👍 Janis: more meant to the kids than you tbh Jimmy: I'll tell 'em how 💔 you are that they got to watch telly for a bit longer then Janis: well, nothing worse than hanging about whilst the adults piss about doing fuck knows Jimmy: I've been doing fuck loads, first off Jimmy: second of all, Cass is outvoted on wanting you to piss off in the other direction so Janis: I bet Janis: having a ☕ putting the 🧺 out taking some well important well long 📞s Jimmy: 45 not 85 tah very much Jimmy: you'll have me 🌱 next Janis: selfish of you not to 🌧 Jimmy: don't reckon 👦 and 🐕 who are both ✔🏖 would see it like that Jimmy: probably call it a dickhead move 💔🎻 Janis: that's a self-explanatory sign, I remember Jimmy: when you get here he wants to 🗨 about sandcastles Jimmy: you* Jimmy: I'll just say you're 🏆🥇👑 nowt to worry about Janis: well I actually am so don't you be chatting shit about me Janis: I'll know Jimmy: 🙈 🙉 🙊 Janis: he's my little mate Janis: dob you well in Jimmy: he would Janis: bless Janis: better be nice to me then Jimmy: I said about 🍬🍬 what else do you want? Janis: it's a start Janis: can see as we go Jimmy: still high maintenance as a mate then Janis: you want one who'll be friends with any dickhead, do you Jimmy: can't even fake that being a yeah to wind you up Janis: feel 🍀 Jimmy: you should Janis: HA Jimmy: steady on, you'll hurt yourself Janis: I'm outside whenever you're ready Jimmy: [comes out and over to her to touch the curls like oh hey you're still there then] Janis: [😏 and bats his hand away like obviously I did not] Jimmy: [Twix running out like HEY GAL v excited] Janis: [give her some love 'we going on the bus or train or what?'] Jimmy: [just shouting your sister like if they don't hurry up we're not going anywhere vibes because doing his head in already lol] Janis: [just doing the 😬 face] Jimmy: [makes you 😏 in spite of everything] Janis: [gestures to her mouth like, you did promise me sweets though] Jimmy: [obvs chucks them at her] Janis: [taking two and putting her finger to her lips] Jimmy: [the kids appearing as soon as she's eaten them so the secret is safe] Janis: [chat to Bobby about these sandcastles] Jimmy: [he wants to know if you've got skills gal] Janis: [just like 'course I do, let's make a better one than him lol] Jimmy: [competition is definitely happening, we must] Janis: [fosho] Jimmy: [I wonder how long this train ride is, I hope it's not awkwardly long lol] Janis: [there's beaches near enough it shouldn't be crazy] Jimmy: [at least you've got the dog and kids to distract you lads] Janis: [just being so sociable rn] Jimmy: [we know it's because there's a vibe between you too but I'm still here for this family unite so go ahead and #bond babe] Janis: [you'd try anyway 'cos not a prick but this is helping can't lie so pop off] Jimmy: [always nice to see another side of him too so I'm about it, we should probably let Bobby win this sandcastle contest soz Cass] Janis: [you can slay all the arcade games don't be too fuming] Jimmy: [don't kick his sandcastle down he will be devvo] Janis: [ahh the drama, so arcades, ice cream, candyfloss, the little rides they have at the beach, sandcastles, chips, anything else?] Jimmy: [getting chased by seagulls and Twix chasing them, having to get her when she legs it into the sea and it being freezing lol] Janis: [should be near the end so they then have to wait to dry off, anyway, all of this has the potential to be awks, like anything they inadvertently end up doing as a pair] Jimmy: [when you're so in love and in a rom com that you can't stop having romantic moments] Janis: [not like you can just ignore each other the whole day, would be weird] Jimmy: [soz again Cass you still gonna be 🙄 even though they're not smooching] Janis: [ugh, so cringe] Jimmy: [Jimothy 100000% has to get her a shit thing from the arcade with his tokens because she gave him that bed screw after school trip so it's his turn for a memento] Janis: [a must] Jimmy: [you two are cute nerds] Janis: [when you've not had close friends or a boyfriend so all of this is so confusing like is this how it's meant to be or what] Jimmy: [and she doesn't even have anyone she can talk to about it, soz for doing this to you babe] Janis: [can't really put the feelers out like hey] Jimmy: [especially not with him because he'd be like obvs this is fine, because you're not gonna be like no actually I'm in love with you so] Janis: [we're not doing that again] Jimmy: [at least you'll have an excuse to snuggle after being in the freezing sea] Janis: [true] Jimmy: [Twix shaking all over Bobby who is the only one who didn't get in the sea like thanks for that babe we're all wet and cold now] Janis: [oh Twix] Jimmy: [she's living her best life, oblivious to all this JJ drama] Janis: [I like to think there's a stop that's a few before theirs that is closer to the farm so just hopping off there like you ever go home] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: yeah, it was fun, cheers Jimmy: didn't make me wanna 💀💀💀 Jimmy: must've been Janis: practically a 5🌟 review Jimmy: I won't tweet it out but Jimmy: you can have a 🏆 for it Janis: you already gave it to me Jimmy: have another one then Jimmy: for the road or whatever Janis: do you have enough 🎫s Jimmy: they're all asleep, I can be nice to you now Janis: yeah? Janis: you've been pretty nice Jimmy: [a picture of them all snoozing on this train like see] Jimmy: you don't reckon I can be any nicer? bit rude Janis: Bless Janis: 🤞 they bring that chill home but won't hold my breath for you Janis: I'm sure you can Janis: whether you will is a different question Jimmy: don't matter, I can chuck 'em at Ian in a bit Jimmy: Oi, why wouldn't I? Janis: you're pretty busy Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend or real mate? Janis: 🥇brother Jimmy: I ain't got a mug, can't be Janis: should've looked Janis: must've been one with all the kiss me quick shit Jimmy: I'll get our kid set up 🎨 keep him busy crafting so I'm not too busy for you Janis: can use all the 🐚s he got Jimmy: don't fancy drinking a brew out of a 🐚 but I'll have him crack on with one for you 🧜 Janis: you should ™ it now, we're only a trend or two away Jimmy: might be a way to get 💀👑 and her mates on side, tah Janis: they'll be all about the salt water, DUH Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: think even your sister had a good time though Janis: between the 😒🙄 Jimmy: she's probably moved from 🤬 to 😠 scale wise Janis: take it as a win Jimmy: you can do Janis: 🏆 you said Jimmy: don't worry I'm not taking it back Jimmy: you earned it Janis: you can try Janis: already on my shelf with all my others Janis: not find it now Jimmy: too 💪 for me to have a go an' all, you Janis: 🤔 Janis: now you're being too nice and it's weird Jimmy: Hang on, I'll wake my sister and slag you off for a bit Janis: 👍 Janis: can give me the notes when you're done Jimmy: you know I can't write Jimmy: no need for you to be mean Janis: voice notes exist Jimmy: you can just say you miss me, mate Jimmy: it's alright Janis: how could I Janis: literally just left Jimmy: your accent kink were unlocked ages ago Janis: if I had one, I'd have better taste 😏 Jimmy: the whole north is 💔😭🎻 girl Jimmy: 🤞 you're proud of yourself Janis: you show me your fit long lost cousins, I'll take it back Jimmy: if I find 'em I'll be too busy arranging a lift home to chuck 'em at you Janis: rude but fair Jimmy: crack on after if you fancy Janis: don't really need your permission Jimmy: you put your sister off limits, I can do the same Janis: immediate family only Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that only gives me Ian Janis: and he's well 😍 Janis: appreciate my struggle Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you've got some fit sisters AND a gay brother Janis: you piss off Janis: no I don't Jimmy: none of 'em? 💔 Jimmy: your fit mum'll have to do then Janis: shut up Jimmy: @ her I'll be over for my tea in a bit and I don't eat nowt like 🥦🌽🥕 Janis: you're the least funny person I've ever met Jimmy: 🤡💔😭 Janis: 🖕🔥💀 Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: alright, ALL my attention's back on you Janis: why would I want that Jimmy: you don't have to want it to get it, Jill Janis: 🙄 you telling me things I know now Jimmy: head that big we'd never 🗨 if I didn't Janis: and what a tragedy that would be 👻🖋 Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: I'll go to sleep an' all then 🤞 we'll miss our stop and end up somewhere more #goals Jimmy: 👋🏠 Janis: unlikely Janis: don't go 🌙 Jimmy: worth a 🎯 Janis: that was what I reckoned but weren't buzzing for me so Jimmy: make Ian 😤 when he has to come fetch us if nowt else Janis: worth it Jimmy: 👍 night Janis: whatever idiot Jimmy: parting IS such sweet sorrow with you 💕 Jimmy: so lovely to me Janis: you want gutted I can offer a tweet or an insta post Jimmy: stick with 🖕🔥💀 it's more real Janis: that it is, mate Jimmy: no need to take over telling me shit I know Janis: 👍 Janis: sweet dreams then Jimmy: tah Janis: hmu when you wanna do something fake Jimmy: lasses first Jimmy: loads of options in the group 🗨 Janis: well I got some 📸 today I can make look goals Jimmy: #same Jimmy: can fake you're here as long as 💀👑 ain't at yours when you get back Jimmy: might make it a bit harder if she 👀 you Janis: unless she's that 😍 she sees me everywhere Jimmy: 🤢🤢 Jimmy: be about right, that Janis: don't chat like I'm not a top mirage Jimmy: weren't me saying nowt Janis: hmm Jimmy: I rate you, I've said Jimmy: don't rate her 😍💕🔪 with you Janis: Bill probably does Jimmy: @ him for his review Janis: might be the storyline he goes with Janis: if one of us pretends to be a lad for a bit or whatever Jimmy: does LOVE a bit of that but you'd still end up with a lad by the end though Jimmy: if you're not 💀💀💀 Janis: obviously 💀💀💀 Jimmy: go on and make me feel less special, dickhead Janis: never promised you're the only one that dies Jimmy: you can't be my Juliet and some other lass Jimmy: for or with 💀👑 Janis: stick to the script, yeah Jimmy: 🖋🩸 not ✏️ Janis: where's your chainmail look then Jimmy: Oi, least shout me a drink first Janis: I'm with the astronaut not fannying about getting you drinks Jimmy: bit rude Janis: talk about rude Janis: you're gatecrashing Jimmy: I'll piss off then Jimmy: know where I ain't 💕 Janis: have you not seen the 1996 classic or what Janis: main plot point there Jimmy: Leo's dead distracting, who can follow owt going on with the plot Janis: it's my parent's party, you, your cousin and your mates gatecrash 'cos you're off your tits Janis: astronaut is my fiance and you're well in love with this other girl, 'til we 👀 through a massive fish tank Jimmy: Oh Bill, he don't know you're the pisshead, well awkward Jimmy: I remember that bit 🐠 🐟 Jimmy: must be the fish kink you said I had Janis: see Janis: 💫 Jimmy: Who's the dickhead you're marrying? Janis: Paul Rudd Janis: well in, tbh Jimmy: does the lass I dump for you even get a face? Janis: nah Janis: you're that dickhead Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: be like my ex who you've only got my word for existing Janis: she is my cousin and all, why you're at the party Janis: which is a bit rude to bin her off there and then but Janis: 🐠 🐟 kink Jimmy: I told you it shouldn't only be immediate family off limits, Jules Jimmy: you weren't having none of it Janis: don't matter Janis: you don't even speak to her before reckoning you're well 😍 Jimmy: finally sounds like me Jimmy: nice one Bill Janis: 'course Janis: he is well mopey Jimmy: DUH, not just him 'cause I'm the lad Jimmy: if the 😭 fits Janis: try out for Hamlet next, boy Jimmy: don't reckon that's the school play on offer Jimmy: but I'll have a word Janis: please do Janis: Shane who's had every lead since we were 👶 would piss himself Jimmy: only if you're at the front to 👏 and chuck 🌹 at us Jimmy: very shy, me Janis: like fuck are you Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: you're practically an exhibitionist Jimmy: Dunno what you've 👂 or 👀 Jimmy: but that sounds well fake Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 👌👌 Jimmy: 🙄🙄 Janis: not like I've ended up nearly naked at a party 'cos of you or nothing Jimmy: that weren't deliberate Janis: nah? Jimmy: it means nowt but I'm heavy handed and that dress weren't worth the 💰 Janis: nicked it anyway Jimmy: there you go then Jimmy: and you never flashed nobody 'cause I gave you my jacket Jimmy: what kind of exhibitionist would do that? Janis: joke 🤡 Jimmy: Oi don't be calling me a joke Janis: would be a compliment, if I were Jimmy: how would it? Janis: clowns are meant to be funny Jimmy: funny weren't what you said Janis: what's a joke if not funny Jimmy: you're taking the piss, not giving me a compliment Jimmy: might be thick but I can work out the difference Janis: so you know I was saying I was joking and you're being picky about nothing right now Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: 👍 Janis: you're the one being a dick but alright Jimmy: nah you're the one winding me up about something I already feel 😳 about Janis: why Janis: not like I actually care or cared Jimmy: shut up about it then Janis: fine, jesus christ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: don't be about it alright Jimmy: what? Janis: 😳 Janis: no need Jimmy: you said you were gonna stop going on about it Janis: I'm just saying Jimmy: no need Janis: okay Jimmy: 👌 Janis: they're not here by the way Janis: so pretend I'm there Jimmy: Alright Janis: cool Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: not going nowhere far so it don't count as covering Jimmy: weren't asking Jimmy: it's a piss easy job when it don't drag on Janis: ? Jimmy: faking that we're 🏠💕 Janis: alright, thrilled for you then Jimmy: save the enthusiasm for when we've got 👀🍿 Janis: I get it Jimmy: nowt to get, I don't need 👏🏆🌹 for this Janis: you want me to piss off Jimmy: sounds like you've got somewhere to be Janis: so we can't 💬 Jimmy: do you want to? Jimmy: 'cause it didn't sound like it Janis: that was you Jimmy: you started it Janis: no I never Jimmy: yeah you did Jimmy: 1. jumping off the train without even a 😘 2. getting engaged to Paul Rudd 3. being a dickhead to me Janis: 1. I said bye 2. if you were paying attention you'd know we was already 👰🤵 before I could be forced to marry him 3. you're a bigger dickhead to me Jimmy: very convenient all that Janis: 🙄🙄 Jimmy: What are you doing other than 🙄 at me for nowt? Janis: going for a run Jimmy: so how do you reckon we're gonna 🗨? Jimmy: you gonna send me breathless voice memos or what? Janis: I don't get out of breath 'cos I'm not 🚬🍔🍻 Jimmy: *🥧🥔 first off Jimmy: second, not 🏃 hard or far enough then, are you? Janis: its called pacing Jimmy: next you're gonna try and lie to me that you don't sweat like that pervy prince Jimmy: it's called bollocks Janis: fine then, no one is about to force you Jimmy: What, to believe you? Weren't likely, my dear Janis: talk, prick Jimmy: I don't need to be forced, I only asked how you were gonna manage it whilst being SUCH an athlete Janis: talk to text, as if it matters Jimmy: was that so hard? Janis: why did you need tk know, just to be awkward Jimmy: it were an easy enough question Janis: fuck sake Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what have I done now? Jimmy: too nice a bit ago, too much of a dickhead after Janis: forget it Jimmy: Why, 'cause you don't wanna talk to me and you're just putting it on me like I don't or? Janis: if I didn't want to talk to you, I wouldn't be Jimmy: What then? Janis: it's just Janis: weird Jimmy: it's always been weird Jimmy: you're my fake girlfriend Janis: too weird maybe Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: that I duon't reckon this is gonna work Janis: don't* Jimmy: which bit? Janis: being mates Jimmy: So what, you just wanna treat this like another job? Janis: yeah, I guess Janis: be easier Janis: and that's the point Jimmy: except I'm not a 🐕 that needs a piss but alright Janis: I'm not saying you are Jimmy: you're just saying that's what you wanna treat me like Jimmy: job done Janis: no, we don't have to be cunts to each other Janis: but I don't do friends, where are the rest of mine, like Janis: can't hack it Jimmy: you could've said before you spent the day becoming mates with my little brother Janis: I was trying Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: I'll sign that to him then, tah Janis: I didn't think it'd be this hard Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: it's you, I can't be around you Jimmy: so call it off Jimmy: but you reckon you're alright to be around me at some bollocks or owt else where you need a fake boyfriend Jimmy: party* Janis: if you don't want to do it no more then fine Jimmy: it's you who can't hack me Jimmy: I had a lovely time Janis: you know why Jimmy: I said no to fucking you once, there's why Janis: yeah, I already feel like a piece of shit for it, you don't need to do that for me Jimmy: how do you think I feel? that's all you want me for Janis: I don't do friends it ain't tat you wouldn't be a decent one Janis: that* Jimmy: right and as long as I can fake being a decent boyfriend, what does it matter? Jimmy: tah for the heads up Janis: obviously we're not going to do that no more Janis: I didn't want to just Janis: I don't know Jimmy: obviously I don't get a fucking say Jimmy: why would I 'cause you don't care what I want Janis: Yes I do Janis: that's why I did this, 'cos otherwise I was just lying to you Jimmy: bit late to chime in with that bollocks when you've already pissed all over everything Jimmy: but alright Janis: what else can I do Jimmy: nowt clearly 'cause you tried really hard for a day Janis: you shouldn't have to try to be someone's mate, would you, that's the whole point Jimmy: you shouldn't have said you were up for it if you weren't Janis: nah Jimmy: 📞 that dickhead, bet he'll have another go at ending this for us Janis: don't, alright Jimmy: soz, you've probably 💭🥇💡 while I were pissing about on the 🏖 Jimmy: go on Janis: No, I haven't Janis: I had a good time too, it's not about that Jimmy: let me know when you have then Jimmy: so I know what I'm going along with Janis: it doesn't matter, I don't care Jimmy: you're not gonna pull your weight with this either Jimmy: tah very much Janis: literally the furthest thing from my mind right now Janis: so sorry Jimmy: yeah, you gave out the apologies a bit ago, no need to tack that one on Janis: so what, I'm meant to keep hanging out with you all the time, and pretend I don't want to kiss you, that's normal, is it? Jimmy: how about I gave you 3 days and you can't even give me one Janis: what? Jimmy: I told you why I only wanted to be mates, that I didn't wanna fuck this up, and you're just cracking on with that anyway Janis: and it's me that only wants a fake boyfriend? Jimmy: yeah, THAT'S what I meant by any of that Janis: how would I know? all I know is I can't fake be all over you one second then barely talk to you the next Jimmy: I weren't asking you for that, I never have done Janis: that's exactly what we do Jimmy: bollocks is it Jimmy: I talk to you Janis: would you rather I lie about it Jimmy: if it means I don't get left with fuck all, I might do Janis: I get fuck all too Jimmy: that don't make me feel better, funnily enough Janis: there ain't nothing I can do that will Jimmy: you could not do this Janis: if that were true, I wouldn't have Jimmy: there's nowt else to say then Janis: alright Jimmy: just go Janis: I have Jimmy: stop talking to me, dickhead Janis: [shall I post? or are we skipping to whatever is next?] Janis: [how should we start whatever is next, for that matter?] Jimmy: [I was thinking maybe he could be drunk and feelsy because we've done her already but I don't know how to just kick that off like] Janis: [I had a similar thought that regardless it needs to come from him 'cos she's put it out there low-key twice now and has got ultimately a no response each time so, could go the route of it being a party and thus like, come fake, even if it's a no obvs 'cos can carry on the convo or you could commit to just starting the convo from the off] Jimmy: [when I was in your archive looking for beach stuff which I rudely never found I did find a convo where it was like he'd been locked out because there's a shortage of keys in that house always and forever thanks Cass and she ultimately helped him break in so I'm wondering if I can do something with that hmmm] Jimmy: [it was a whole #mood is why I'm considering it lol] Janis: [I vibe with that] Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: where's your 🔑 Jimmy: ???????? Janis: on my dog-walking keys with the rest of them Janis: why? Jimmy: 🏃🏠✔ Janis: no, didn't get that Jimmy: UGH Jimmy: just run here Janis: I've not got them on me, not walking dogs at this o'clock Janis: you lost yours? Jimmy: bring me a jacket then Jimmy: it's freezing Janis: is everyone at yours asleep? Jimmy: except Ian but it were him who chucked me out Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: alright, I'll come but I'm a bit away so you'll have to keep warm Janis: why'd he throw you out then? Jimmy: how? you don't do mates and I don't do 🏃 Jimmy: that's not why he chucked me out, don't care about my fitness Janis: not even on the spot? Janis: what about that 🍾you been drinking? not enough left to do the trick or what Jimmy: 🥂 very civilised Jimmy: I get it, you've forgotten who I am Jimmy: and you want me to chase my tail Jimmy: 🐕💔 Janis: dinner party, was it? Jimmy: you need mates for that, girl Jimmy: should've done 🐕💕 you'd like me more if I were Janis: I like you just fine Janis: and who needs mates, just steal your other glass 🥂 Jimmy: I'd have let you have it Janis: you're very generous, I've always said that Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: love a compliment, me, I remember them all Janis: 🧠 flex Jimmy: and you can't even tweet it Jimmy: 🎻😭😭 Janis: that is a tragedy, truly Janis: could do it for old times sake but Jimmy: there's loads of other things I'd rather do for old times sake before that Janis: 😱 tweeting weren't your fave Jimmy: I don't have a 🖋 can't do you a list Janis: s'alright, won't keep you warm and that's priority Jimmy: you'll keep me warm Jimmy: you'll be well warm when you've 🏃 here Janis: I'll get you in your gaff, yeah Jimmy: I don't want to be there Janis: no? Jimmy: DUH I should've kicked the door in like we did to Lucas', I didn't wanna scare him but he can't hear it, can he? Jimmy: turn back around, it's alright Janis: I reckon your house doors are a bit sturdier, don't do that, alright Jimmy: Cass won't be 🤬 she loves kicking a door in Jimmy: unless she thinks it's my mum coming back Janis: and your dad will be regardless Janis: it's not a good idea Jimmy: be a 🥇 entrance if it were here though Jimmy: her* Janis: pretty impressive Janis: have to at this point, right? Jimmy: 🍾 be out then Janis: yeah Jimmy: what are you doing? Janis: coming to get you, obviously Jimmy: but before Janis: with all my mates? Janis: nothing, really, just Janis: about Jimmy: 🧛 business Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: 🦇🩸 Janis: exactly Janis: if I told you I'd have to eat you Jimmy: just don't be biting anyone else Jimmy: I don't care what you do to me Janis: I haven't Janis: that kind of night, I get that, too Jimmy: on any night, don't Janis: it's very unlikely Janis: even though it's a bit mean you want me to starve Jimmy: I said you can have me Janis: you'd get me pissed right now Jimmy: wouldn't even cost you nowt Jimmy: 🥇 date, me Janis: cheap, too 😏 Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: no 🎫 needed either Janis: quite the offer Jimmy: weren't enough for my ex Jimmy: I @ed her but she don't wanna talk to me Jimmy: there's a mate you could have Janis: reckon that's her loss Janis: but I'm alright for her Jimmy: #savage Janis: don't think she's dying to talk to me either, it's alright Jimmy: might be now I fucked this up an' all Janis: what do you mean? Jimmy: you can swap stories of how crap I am Janis: she fucked around on you, you've told me before, can't be your fault Jimmy: DUH 'cause I was crap Janis: you aren't crap Janis: this were my fault, remember Jimmy: no, it weren't Janis: of course it was Jimmy: of course it weren't Jimmy: you said why you pissed off, it were nowt to do with me, what were I gonna do, hold it against you forever Janis: you told me why you can't have that and it's probably a lot more valid than why I stropped off Jimmy: people leave me Jimmy: or wanna Jimmy: 🎻🎻 etc Janis: it's really fucked, about your mum, you don't need to act like it ain't Janis: I get why you reacted how you did Jimmy: you came back Jimmy: I didn't have to be a prick about it Janis: when I came back Janis: I made loads more mistakes too Jimmy: I didn't even ask if you were alright Jimmy: I haven't now either Janis: 'cos you know Janis: like I know Janis: we're clearly not alright, as people, are we Jimmy: owt could've happened to you and I just had a go, without waiting a sec or leaving it out for one Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: and I'm sorry I set you up to piss off again by reckoning you would Janis: it's alright Janis: nothing happened to me Janis: well, I'll tell you what it actually was, but I don't know if it'll sound like much now Janis: my dad, as Mia pointed out ages ago, died a few months back Janis: but before that he was a piece of shit and had loads of kids and fuck all to do with any of us for a proper amount of time Janis: and his mum likes to act like he was some saint, and one of his exes is clearly in the same boat and for some reason they've got it into their head we all need to get together as if he gave a shit about family when he was here or is gonna now Janis: that day they just showed up, when my mum weren't about, and wouldn't fuck off or shut up or get out my face so I just Janis: I can't even remember but my nan was on the floor like I'd stabbed her so I just had to go, no time to think or prepare anything Jimmy: 🍻 to shit dads Jimmy: I meant what I said, you can always stay here Jimmy: I'm still your mate even though you're not mine Janis: drink to that Janis: I meant what I said, or tried to say Janis: I wanna be your mate but I dunno how to be one or have one Jimmy: I know, and I'm not an expert myself, like Jimmy: it's different with lads and she were my mate, alright, but we weren't good mates to each other so Janis: you did a better job than me at any rate Janis: you were probably different before, yeah Janis: I was Jimmy: 🌧😒 still Jimmy: it were shit before an' all, just a different sort Janis: that's not gonna stop me wanting to be your friend, bit hypocritical Jimmy: just want you to know Jimmy: not sainting my mum, she were as bad as Ian when she were about Jimmy: alright, he's got worse since but Jimmy: 🌧🌧🌧 Janis: different shit, I hear you Jimmy: I didn't wanna get in over my head when you could just walk off again Jimmy: such bollocks Janis: understandable Jimmy: there's nowt I can do about how I feel Jimmy: or you Janis: no, there ain't Janis: but makes sense why you'd try Janis: half the reason I say no mates Jimmy: what's the other half, you just like being fit and mysterious? Janis: no, the, not knowing how to do it and not liking to be shit at things thing I mentioned Jimmy: you're not shit Jimmy: you said you were sorry you like me, but I'm sorry now you don't no more Jimmy: and I'm not sorry I like you Janis: It hasn't just turned itself off Janis: but it'd be unfair to have this conversation when you're wasted, wouldn't it Jimmy: depends Janis: go on Jimmy: 1. what I can remember when I ain't 2. if you're gonna make me 😭 Janis: exactly, can't and won't be holding you to anything you say tonight Janis: and don't wanna make you cry either, as a rule Jimmy: but Janis Janis: you never say my name Jimmy: there's loads I don't say Janis: I can tell that much Janis: you don't have to tell me anything Jimmy: can I? If I want? Janis: yeah Janis: of course Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I'm scared Janis: what of? Jimmy: not seeing you after this Janis: after this conversation, or like Janis: when you go Jimmy: both Janis: well, you'll see me after this conversation, I can promise that Jimmy: but not like before Janis: that can be a good or a bad thing Jimmy: yeah Janis: if you do remember, and you feel the same about any of it, then we can talk about that then, work it out Jimmy: what if I don't remember? Janis: you'll read this back, I'm sure Janis: whatever you said to your ex too Jimmy: have you forgotten I'm a MASSIVE dickhead Janis: met worse Janis: sorry 💔 Jimmy: you said you don't wanna make me 😭 Janis: 🤐 Janis: you're the worst person I've ever met Janis: better? Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 😏 Jimmy: do we have to go in? 🔑🏠 Janis: you should probably go in somewhere, to warm up Janis: but there's other places we can Jimmy: @ your nan who isn't evil Jimmy: tell her to put the kettle on Janis: maybe Janis: we'll see how quiet you're capable of being first Jimmy: what are you gonna be doing to me? Janis: oi, not like that Janis: more like she probably don't wanna have a chat with you but the spare room is basically mine so if you can 🤫 a tea ain't out the question Jimmy: what time is it? Janis: pretty late Janis: she ain't evil but she is 😤 😠 😡 🤬 Janis: you might 😭 Jimmy: like you Jimmy: cute Jimmy: is your mum on the scale an' all? Janis: not cute Janis: not really Janis: she's a bit of a hippie throwback but not all ✌&💕 Jimmy: that'll be why you live in the middle of nowt, I get it 🌳🌼🌻🌱 Janis: a longer story than that Janis: but cut short, my dad was such a dick, his granddad would rather live with and leave my ma a farmhouse than him, and that's what happened Jimmy: wish I could chuck Ian out for being a knobhead Janis: when you got enough to pay the bills Jimmy: gonna start chucking stones at your nan's window of a night Jimmy: have that spare room out from under you, girl Janis: 😂 Janis: I mean, really harsh to take my role and my balcony from me like that but I get it Jimmy: your granddad still about or what? Janis: yeah, unlucky Janis: if she don't fuck you up he will Jimmy: 💔 but not for her probably, just me Janis: Poor boy Jimmy: used to it, been dumped more times than I've had girlfriends Janis: explains why you're used to the #drama Jimmy: 🖋👻🎭 Janis: she can be rosaline then Jimmy: Bill would have one of his characters end up a child bride to their dad's best mate Janis: seriously, do need to ring someone about that Janis: remind me Jimmy: it's grim up north, babe Janis: so you keep telling me Jimmy: I get it, you wanna see for yourself Jimmy: I'll pack you in my bag Janis: 👍 Janis: why not Jimmy: 💕 Janis: how are you, are you still cold? Janis: I'm basically there now Jimmy: 💀💀💀 Janis: okay, I'll 🏃 this bit fast, hold on Jimmy: you're so Janis: shh Jimmy: you said I could tell you Jimmy: owt I want Janis: okay but I won't be replying Jimmy: 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃 Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [😍 af] Janis: [immediately coming at him and putting your coat on him and hugging him really tight for the warmthing] Jimmy: [SUCH a hug and SUCH a happy sigh because you missed her so much] Janis: [just telling him it's alright over and over] Jimmy: [just not letting her go for the longest time and we know it's not because he was inappropriately dressed to be thrown out into the cold] Janis: [we're allowing it, before trying to get him to walk like come on then] Jimmy: [helping her like she's the one who needs it because sweet drunken nerd] Janis: ['you're an idiot' but in a purely affectionate way] Jimmy: ['you're a top runner' what a genuine and pure thing to say sir] Janis: ['thanks' amusment] Jimmy: ['it's alright' such a genuinely cute smile like] Janis: [can't help but smile back 'I'll get you another key done tomorrow, you can hide it somewhere for emergencies'] Jimmy: ['Dunno what you heard but I'm living with your fit nan now so'] Janis: [nudging him but very gently so he's not falling] Jimmy: [dramatically hitting the deck like he's been shot but extending his hand once he's down there like come lie with me not like help me up] Janis: [being like 'Jimmy!' and getting to his side so fast 'cos you think he's actually hurt himself so then you're 😒 'how about we wait 'til we're inside to lie down, yeah'] Jimmy: [popping back up v quickly but forlorn because you don't want her to be mad at you and touching that grumpy face v softly like hey no I'm okay it's fine] Janis: [cupping his own face 'don't scare me' like barely audible even though it's assumedly pretty quiet and you're the only people about] Jimmy: [shaking his head cos he didn't mean to and he doesn't want to ever and giving her another hug] Janis: [being like soz 'cos feeling like an overreaction now and shamed] Jimmy: [just snuggling her and being soft until she feels more chill, like hide against me gal it's okay because we understand] Janis: [just have a moment kids] Jimmy: [then have a walking and handholding moment] Janis: [get to mcvickers] Jimmy: [try not to anger this nan] Janis: [just putting him to bed and going to sneaky get a tea] Jimmy: [tbf all you'd have to say is that he got locked out and she'd be fine, we know the life she lived] Janis: [although #yesallmen lmao] Jimmy: [distrust of all y'all except her own bae] Janis: [fair tbh] Jimmy: [Caleb that's something else you did, you prick] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [tea will make you feel better though Jimothy] Janis: [bring that up] Jimmy: [drinking it whilst 😍 because we're not hiding nothing tonight] Janis: [looking at him like what you looking at but knowing saying that would be dangerous rn] Jimmy: [just being like 'come here' even if she's already next to you and as close as she could physically be because you always wanna be closer than that] Janis: ['drink your tea' but sitting next to him on the bed instead of at the foot of] Jimmy: [does what he's told] Janis: [after a while 'how do you feel now?'] Jimmy: ['gutted there were no biscuits but I'll live'] Janis: [😏 'if you're actually hungry-' and half getting up] Jimmy: [lowkey probably is but stopping her from going and pulling her into him in one swag movement because priorities and having her on his lap is a shameless fave] Janis: [soft 'hey' forever] Jimmy: ['please don't leave' softer and quieter] Janis: ['you can go to sleep, and I'll still be here when you wake up' squeezing his hand in silent promise] Jimmy: [writing an o and a k on that hand with his other one but not moving other than that because we're having emotions] Janis: [laying down whilst in his lap so with her head on his chest and telling him it'll be alright again] Jimmy: [just have your snuggle kids] Janis: [lull that boy to sleep]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [fam christmas woooo when you ain't talked to your sister in 4 months either just to make it more awks] Rio: [what a fun time for all, when you are constantly on your phone so much 'cos Ryan won't stop messaging you and wants a play by play Buster: [he'd be drunk before he even got there ffs boy] Rio: [when it's that point in the evening when everyone is playing stupid games tipsy and you just cannot so you go hide in the kitchen] Buster: [let's say he bumps into her literally cos yeah what you need is another drink boy] Rio: [when you literally jump back like 'oh'] Buster: [when you do the thing peeps do to me & go twenty miles out of your way round her] Rio: ['Don't fall, McKenna'] Buster: ['Only for you, babe' too drunk & voice too loud] Rio: [When you swipe his drink off the counter 'fore he can stop you can take a sip and put your finger to your lips like 'shh, idiot' and hand it back to him, shaking your head] Buster: [When you down that drink so you have to get another & be in there longer] Rio: ['tis the season' when even when you're talking you're constantly on your phone and not that bitch and they love eye contact but she's not smiling like 😍 it's more like 😑] Buster: [when you take her phone before she can stop you & put it down where she can't reach it] Rio: [the lowkey panic in your eyes that you try to mask, 'Come on, don't be a dick'] Buster: ['Don't be rude'] Rio: ['Your territory, I know'] Buster: ['You trying to come for my crown now?'] Rio: ['Maybe' trying to move a chair to wherever he's put her phone] Buster: ['Antisocial is closer to the other twin. Try harder' Lifts her up so she can get it cos drunk & shameless] Rio: [When you stop breathing 'til you're back on the ground and then you breathe out so heavily, 'You wanna be social now? Party's in there' points to the lounge] Buster: ['Hopeless romantic is more her thing too' throws the words over his shoulder as he leaves cos he knows about the bf through stalking them socials] Rio: What are you talking about Buster: You love him Buster: It's cute Rio: It's not even been a month Buster: Moving fast is more of a lesbian thing, like I said, Nance will either be thrilled or threatened Rio: Talk to her and see Rio: though you've definitely got better things to catch up on than my dating history Buster: Put your phone down & try it yourself Rio: I see her every day Buster: Run out of shit to say then? Understandable Buster: Probably don't tell her that though Buster: So rude Rio: I'm not trying to take away from your sibling bonding time Rio: soz Buster: You can't take something that don't exist Rio: It exists, you both just choose to ignore it Rio: least it's mutual though so Buster: Nah, it's been scratched out the schedule instead of penciled in Buster: Still siblings no time to bond Rio: Hmm Rio: you're SO busy, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Lovely Buster: Not the word Rio: Not so miserable I'm here to listen to the 'stresses' in your life, tah Buster: Never said it was negative, I just don't use old lady vocab, like Buster: You sound like a teacher Rio: 🙄 Rio: Now you're gonna chat shit on my vocabulary, alright private school Buster: I am a pleasure to have in class if you wanna let my parents know Rio: That was the whole point, remember Rio: how would I know Buster: Play really well with others too but probably don't let 'em know how you know that Rio: You'll be wanting to delete that, I presume Rio: surprised you've even got the balls to talk to me at all Buster: How many convos did you start? Buster: I weren't expecting you to jump out of a cake but a happy birthday would've been polite Rio: Likewise Rio: Expecting or fantasizing, you'd have to make a booking Rio: not showing up uninvited, heaven forbid Buster: Mine was first, babe & I ain't never pretended to be that Rio: So if I'd have said it to you, you'd have returned the favour Rio: You're so childish Buster: We'll never know now Buster: What I might've said Buster: Or gifted you Rio: Save it up for sweet 16 Rio: maybe you'll be allowed to talk to me then Buster: Maybe I'll show up in time to stop the wedding Buster: Fingers crossed you don't get knocked up like your mum Rio: Shut up Buster: Only so much your good looks could do to beat the odds of it being an ugly kid Rio: What would you know Buster: Flawless + Fuck ugly = you're right I don't know Buster: Don't wanna Rio: You've never even seen him Rio: don't be so judgmental Buster: Wrong again, babe Buster: Factual more like Rio: Well I clearly don't think so if I love him so much, do I Buster: That'll be all the cum in your eye Rio: So mature Buster: They don't age check on those vids, it's fine Rio: should run a basic IQ test on you Rio: someone who claims to be such a pleasure in class, like Buster: I've done one but I know you hate when I brag about numbers Rio: That's universal Rio: no one but your hanger-on mates wants to hear that Buster: Your friend loved it, she thinks hers is lucky Rio: I'm glad you found someone officially more stupid than you then Buster: That's universal Buster: Applicable in every case, like Rio: Sure she loved being told that too Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: We didn't do that much talking Buster: Once I'd told her what to do, not much else left to say Rio: Why are you still talking Buster: Why are you still replying? Rio: Gotta be on my phone ain't I Buster: Not in this convo though Rio: Well you're blocking my notifications Rio: you'll pussy out soon enough and be gone Buster: Well I'm drunk. Mute me Rio: Take some responsibility for yourself Rio: you always want me to do everything Buster: So you don't want a line then? More for me Rio: That explains why you're talking so much shit Rio: go on then Rio: have to be here so Buster: [brings it to her cos gentlemanly] Rio: [goes off to the bathroom, 'cos learnt something about getting caught, humming white christmas like] Buster: [lols] Rio: Cheers Buster: Merry Christmas Rio: Merry Christmas, Buster Rio: [bringing the baggie back, assuming there's plenty to go around here] Buster: [does his off the kitchen counter cos wants to be where she is] Rio: [rolls her eyes but licks a finger to clean up the excess and sucks it off] Buster: [is 😏] Rio: ['still like danger, do you?] Buster: ['Don't you?'] Rio: ['Obviously'] Buster: [picks her up & puts her on the counter cos throwback & is standing between her legs like close af 'good to know'] Rio: ['How gone are you?' cos what else can you say rn] Buster: [whispers 'depends who you ask' in her ear and puts a finger to his lips like its such a big secret okay boyyy] Rio: [lols, 'thanks for inadvertently answering my question there' but is just looking at him still like #conflict] Buster: [reaches round her to take her drink cos left his in the other room] Rio: ['oi!' pouty face] Buster: [rather than just giving her it back like a normal person, feeds her the drink like this is crepes 2.0] Rio: [into it.com, 'sharing is caring today, huh?'] Buster: [a nod because so much eye contact so much tension who can speak] Rio: [when you're so close now your phone is the only thing between you and then it goes off and you shit yourself] Buster: [angry.com idk whose house they are in but blatantly walks off & punches the wall in potential full view of the fam cos coke ain't your friend boy] Rio: [when you gotta go outside to have that call 'cos not only not wanting him to hear but everyone tbh] Buster: [when everyone's like umm wtf buster but you ain't having it so you storm out & are also outside but the front while she's in the back] Rio: [when every convo is like talking him off a ledge 'cos he's that bitch do not need this Ryan, even a little bit, going back in finally to get a drink 'cos 1. need and 2. hoping he's had the same idea] Buster: [when you're just having a meltdown lowkey] Rio: I'm just sending this in case you want anything but me to fuck off Buster: I can't Buster: Want anything but that Rio: I'm sorry Rio: genuinely Buster: Don't Buster: Just fucking do not Rio: What can I do Rio: tell me and I'll do it Buster: Nothing Rio: that's what you need? Buster: Don't talk to me, don't talk to me, fucking none of it Buster: *Look Rio: Okay Rio: I will Rio: I'm not gonna give out totally empty promises it'll be hard but I will Buster: [When you just yeet like where do you think you're going at Christmas babe] Rio: [Later] Rio: Tell someone where you are Buster: Why would I do that? Buster: & Why would you ask me to? That's a broken promise already Rio: That's what I do Rio: I'm a shit person, like you don't know by now Rio: but they're gonna go out looking if you don't soon so heads up Buster: Let 'em, I don't care about ruining their fun in case you didn't know by now Rio: Alright Rio: if you don't wanna stay where you are Buster: Why? Rio: Know they'll find you Buster: No, why do you love him? Rio: Honestly? Rio: I don't, you can believe that or not but I don't Rio: I'm just trying, you know Buster: I believe it, if only 'cause I want to Buster: That & I've seen him Rio: Alright 😂 Rio: it's not all about looks, general statement, not a declaration of love Buster: He's got that good of a personality, yeah? Rio: Well Rio: said I weren't it love with him, didn't I Rio: he's alright but it really don't go much deeper than that right now Buster: There's no chance he knows that Buster: Unless he's just that chatty with everyone Rio: Yeah Rio: he's a lot Rio: just that type, you know Buster: Do you want me to chat to him? Buster: I can be a lot Rio: Don't think that means you should be besties Rio: it's fine though, honestly Rio: I can handle him, and whoever else Buster: Alright Rio: are you Buster: Don't ask me questions you already know the answer to Buster: You ain't meant to even be talking to me Rio: Yeah Rio: just want the answer to be different Rio: can't be acting surprised, notoriously bad at keeping any kind of promise, and leaving you alone Buster: Maybe Santa will bring you what you want next year, babe Buster: Don't waste your birthday wish though Rio: 🤞 Rio: Sure some other fucker's got to the wishbone too Rio: keep an eye out for shooting stars Buster: Do my best Buster: Any less isn't an option, like Rio: Nah Rio: what can I say if you don't? Rio: see, best gift of all yeah Rio: room to breathe Buster: I know that ain't yours to me, someone's fucked with that tag Rio: Yeah, I just got you socks but worth trying to claim it Rio: you got me Buster: Socks have their uses Buster: Cold feet or otherwise Rio: Yeah, think of me whenever your feet are cold Rio: 😂 Buster: Obviously Rio: Where are you then Buster: You're not getting an invite Rio: Just curious Rio: Anyway, with you gone and them out looking, I've got the drinks to myself now so tah Buster: Shame it's not the house Buster: That'd be worth coming back for Rio: Stay gone a few hours more maybe the search party will include rugging up all the kids Rio: keep you posted on how special you are Buster: Cheers Rio: it's just your da and granddad Rio: which I did point out probably wasn't the best team when assumedly you've found a pub that's open Rio: might have to stop for a pint, even if you ain't Rio: rude not to Buster: & I had my money on mum & Nance, gutted Buster: The fan club's a fucking sham Rio: shit state of affairs, honestly Rio: where's janis when you need her Rio: sure she'd find you Buster: Only if you'd started searching first Buster: & Were about to find me Rio: That would've been a well good excuse Rio: just tryna find enlightenment it's okay Rio: my ma would buy it and she's the nosiest so Buster: There was a ticket to Heaven on offer so Rio: should've come on the search, like Rio: knew I'd fuck up the talking one so reckoned I could at least go a day or two without looking Rio: if I played it right Buster: I still haven't been found Buster: If you wanna do the honours Rio: Hide and seek Rio: what do I win? Buster: I told you not to ask when you already know the answer Rio: Okay Rio: wish its me that finds you 'cos awkward if it's them Buster: I don't need hope or wishes, remember Buster: Neither do you Buster: Not for this Rio: Okay Rio: no cheating, I'll know Buster: I swear Buster: Head boy's honour, like Rio: are you actually head boy now Buster: Did you actually think I wouldn't be? Rio: Didn't doubt you for a second Rio: hot Rio: in a nerdy way Buster: I'd have brought the badge if I'd have known you were so into it Rio: I know this christmas was going pretty shocking but you've really ruined mine now Buster: [sends her a pic of him when he was wearing it] Buster: You bring me problems, I offer you solutions Rio: 😍 Rio: If you ever go proper missing, make sure they use that Rio: well inspiring Buster: I can do better, but they can't show that level of inspiring on the news Rio: not even the 10 o'clock one Buster: Probably keep 'em your eyes only, babe Rio: Fine by me Rio: I wanna be the one to find you anyway Buster: I want you to Rio: Lemme sniff this out Rio: did you have your keys on you Buster: I always have my keys on me Rio: if you've gone home that's so funny Buster: You know I'm hilarious Rio: Your dad is Rio: if we wanna keep ruining the festivities tell your mum how dumb he is Rio: be a hoot Buster: Will do Buster: Hold on Rio: Alright? Buster: Depends who you ask Rio: Well if you've had an empty house this whole time and you're only just telling me Rio: don't know if this is even you tbh Rio: convincing serial killer maybe Buster: I just needed Buster: That breathing room I got as a mystery gift Rio: Makes sense Rio: I don't have to come Rio: if you still wanna be left alone, I won't tell Rio: they can worry a bit longer Buster: You do have to Buster: I wanna be alone with you Rio: I want that too Rio: hold on Buster: Okay Rio: Promise you'll take my phone away when I get there Buster: If you promise not to tell anyone that I think my hand is fucked Rio: How fucked Rio: like, if you show me how to strap it we can do that or sneaky trip to A&E fucked Buster: Like I can already hear the lecture about punching walls instead of bags Rio: We'll sort it Rio: I won't tell anyone Buster: Thanks Rio: doesn't mean I don't get to fuss though Buster: Such a mum Buster: I ain't got that many issues that its a turn on for me, you know Rio: Shut up Rio: so rude Buster: You're cute Rio: 😒 yeah and as unsexy as a mum Buster: You couldn't be unsexy if you tried Rio: swear you got just enough issues? Buster: Talking about them would take all night Buster: But so would what I'd rather do Rio: Well Rio: think they'll clock before then but Rio: take whatever time we can get Buster: Well then I swear I'll make it worth it Buster: Even if we have to be quick Rio: Jesus Rio: I know it'll be worth it Rio: how could it not be Buster: Yeah, but you don't know how worth it yet Buster: You will Rio: You too Rio: I swear Buster: Tell me this is actually fucking happening this time Buster: I need you Rio: It has to Rio: 'cos all that's happening is I'm caring less and less about the risks and more and more about just making it happen Buster: I know I'm drunk but I never cared about anything but this Buster: I don't Rio: We're both drunk but it's still true Rio: I can't stop, Buster Rio: whatever the fuck this is Buster: You don't have to Buster: Be with me, that's all I want Rio: I'm coming Rio: I'm sorry but even if your family walks in at this point I ain't fucking stopping Rio: I'm so sick of not getting what I want Buster: I can't not give it to you Buster: Everything you want Rio: You Rio: that is all I want right now Buster: I'm not even offended that you don't reckon I'm everything Buster: Easily proved wrong Rio: Exactly Rio: show me Buster: Fuck Buster: Say that again Rio: Show me, baby Rio: I want you to be everything, 'cos you're all I can think about Buster: Rio Rio: Buster Buster: Hurry up & be at my house for fuck's sake Rio: you know I live in the middle of nowhere Rio: [cos figure cali gaff has the most space so logic they'd have been there] Rio: it's the biggest cockblock, modern day princess in a tower basically Buster: 😂 Buster: I'm surrounded by princesses all day, you ain't Rio: Bit rude but I've been called worse Buster: It's the opposite of rude the way I mean it Rio: Let you off then Buster: Don't you know that you're on another level? Buster: Doesn't he tell you that in all those texts you get? Rio: He says a lot of things Rio: I'd be lying if I said I was always tuned in, like Buster: Of course not, like you said, I'm all you can think about Rio: Literally Rio: it's stupid Buster: Nah, 'cause if it was it'd be shared stupidity & I'm too smart for that Rio: 😂 Rio: very self-serving, but I'll take it Buster: Plus, I fucking hate sharing Rio: I know Rio: but you know you don't have to with me Rio: not really Buster: You're gonna dump him, yeah? Rio: I can Rio: we can talk about that later though Rio: what we wanna do for the rest of the time and all that Rio: don't think about it right now Buster: I can't think Buster: Not properly Rio: Then don't Rio: you know I want you more than anyone else right now Buster: Yeah Buster: More than anyone else ever Rio: Yeah Rio: Whatever it is Rio: I know I ain't felt it before Rio: wanting someone so hard all the time Buster: Me either Buster: Wanting someone this hard Buster: Never mind all the time Rio: I know it's crazy Rio: but I don't care Rio: can't Buster: Folie à deux, like Rio: You and your French obsession 😏 Buster: I had to learn to kiss somehow, you didn't teach me shit Rio: You wouldn't let me Rio: so NOT a pleasure to have in class Buster: You could've made you move any time Buster: Including before I was dared to make mine Rio: You take the piss enough that I was in love with you without that Rio: you'd have been even more unbearable if I had, like Buster: No Buster: I only was 'cause you made me do it & then it went like that Rio: I didn't dare you Buster: You didn't have to Buster: Don't act like there weren't loads of chances before that Buster: You could've took one Rio: Better late than never, ain't it Rio: be there in 5 Buster: Of course Buster: Be here now though Rio: Could hardly ask for a lift like hey, think he's here but give me like 15 alone, k dad Buster: Can't your boyfriend drive? Perfect way to dump him Rio: Yeah that'd go well Buster: You'd soon forget all about him Buster: We don't need 15 minutes for that Rio: Not gonna time you, like but Rio: hold you to it Buster: You don't need to, give me one second & you won't remember his name Rio: Fuck Rio: I'm so ready for this Rio: for you Buster: Show me Buster: I'm done waiting Rio: [when you show up and see 'em like hell no] Rio: This is beyond an actual joke Buster: [when you can't even answer cos you're beyond angry like if you thought he was mad before peeps] Rio: Fuck this Buster: [later cos you have to deal with them] Buster: Meet me tomorrow Rio: I can't Rio: we go to see my da's family Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: I know Rio: can't get out of it though we stay over Rio: there's no way they'd let me stay home Buster: When are you back? Rio: 30th Rio: you're staying for new year's eve, aren't you Buster: Barely but yeah Buster: My flight's next day Rio: We'll make it work Rio: they'll all be so gone Buster: We're gonna have to, it ain't no commuter flight this time Rio: Yeah Rio: you're so lucky Buster: Not how I feel right now Rio: No, me either Rio: really not in the mood, they're all in my face constantly Buster: My dad's lucky he ain't going to A&E Rio: Not condoning that but I could've easily jumped 'em myself so Rio: this is bullshit, swear they left us alone constantly as kids Buster: I'd lift you up, babe. Teamwork Buster: & Yeah, you can swear to that 'cause they did Rio: 😂😍 Rio: #goals Rio: getting my own place as soon as I can Buster: See, I do play well with others Buster: Come to London, I'm always on my own there Buster: Fucking typical Rio: I will Rio: and you can't be mad because that's an invite Rio: however casual Buster: Mad ain't the word Buster: You're always trying to put the wrong ones in my mouth Rio: Don't make my mind go there Buster: If your mind is anywhere else, tell me how you did it Rio: it ain't Rio: but your mouth specifically now Buster: Shame my mouth ain't specifically where it wants to be Rio: Shame ain't the word Rio: for a white boy you got really good lips, you know Buster: I know Rio: ugh Rio: be here Buster: I'm here, that's all I can do Rio: I'm glad we're talking Buster: You missed me, yeah? Rio: You know I did Buster: Tell me Rio: I missed you loads Rio: I thought about you all the time Buster: You're not gonna go see that lad now are you? Rio: No Rio: he wants me to but I don't have time anyway Buster: Don't. I didn't turn you on for his benefit Rio: I don't want him Rio: you don't either, okay Buster: Okay Rio: Not today Rio: you were mine Buster: I still am Rio: Buster Buster: Rio Rio: it feels so good saying your name Rio: I wanna say it for you Buster: Call me Rio: [does, 'cos you gotta do something poor bastards] Buster: [you deserve this lads] Rio: [when even this is gonna be fire] Buster: [literally better than anything I could ever do] Rio: That was Rio: I feel a bit better now Buster: If you think you feel good now, wait until NYE Rio: I don't wanna wait Rio: but fine Rio: try my best Buster: I don't wanna either but I do wanna make up for lost time so behave & I'll make you cum for every day you've had to Buster: Hold me to it Rio: Damn Rio: you're really daddy, huh Rio: 😇 Buster: It's not that high of a number yet Buster: You can be impressed when I make the offer after being away for ages Rio: You better Rio: gotta have some incentive to come back, right Buster: Yeah Rio: I'm so jealous Buster: Put your teacher voice on & come with Rio: 😏 I'll get the 'fit Buster: I look forward to seeing it Rio: You're there to actually learn, babe Rio: maybe I'll tutor you, if I have time Buster: You're saying you don't have enough to teach me full time? Disappointing Rio: Plenty Rio: 'nuff to take it stateside Buster: Start packing then Rio: When we going Buster: Why not now Buster: Fuck it Rio: That's what I need Rio: you, distance from this fam and a place no one knows us Buster: Exactly Rio: One day Buster: Hold me to it too Rio: Can we stop doing the thing where you leave and we don't talk for months now Rio: like, it's exhausting pretending I hate you and don't wanna fuck you, you know Buster: I have to leave, but yeah, we also have to talk Rio: I know you're going Rio: I mean like I see you for a week or something and then that's that 'til the next family function Buster: I know what you mean Buster: It's not like that's how I want it Rio: Why'd it always end up happening, like Buster: What can I say? Buster: What do you want me to? Rio: I ain't blaming you Rio: it's both of us Rio: just, let's not let something happen between now and when you go so you won't talk to me alright Buster: Whatever happens, I still wanna Buster: It's not that black & white though, is it? Rio: nah Rio: I dunno Rio: we got separate lives to live Rio: obviously, and that's cool Rio: but idk why that means we have to end up hating each other Rio: like it is black and white, all or nothing Buster: I can't hate you Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: alright, pretend then Rio: you're quite convincing sometimes Buster: Well I need to be Buster: Sometimes Rio: Yeah Buster: Just don't break my fucking heart, yeah? Buster: Simple Rio: Why would I do that Buster: All or nothing Rio: that's not how I want it either, I'm telling you Rio: we can do better Buster: Obviously Buster: I can always do better & you always keep up Rio: 😏 Rio: thanks Rio: I think Buster: It's a compliment Buster: Nobody else can Buster: Not that I've found yet anyway Rio: Maybe you'll find yourself an American girl who can Buster: Maybe Rio: just don't get married Rio: can only deal with the accent for so long Buster: Before I've done uni & got a career? My mum would kill me Buster: She'd turn up with a shotgun to stop it, fuck encouraging it Rio: 😂 Rio: Nance is the hopeless romantic, I remember Buster: Good Buster: I don't do repeats never mind wedding vows Rio: Never? Buster: Like I said, they can't keep up Buster: I'm not running a charity Rio: You are funny Buster: I'm also too good at it to be having shit hook ups Buster: Tell your friends Rio: 🙄 Rio: No one's forcing you, to my knowledge Rio: so don't think you can complain Buster: I ain't Buster: You asked & I answered Rio: I did not ask you to specifically tell me how good anyone is Rio: let alone people I know Buster: I haven't Rio: Come on Rio: I know what that comment implies and about who Rio: not seen her for ages anyway so can't say I'm heartbroken over her, like Buster: I'm just saying for future reference, let you friends know that anyone can always do better Rio: It is truly amazing anyone wants to sleep with you Buster: They don't want to talk to me Buster: I told you it ain't easy Rio: It ain't hard Rio: stop flattering yourself for a sec, babe Buster: Start flattering me then, babe Rio: 😏 Buster: Can you really not meet me tomorrow? Rio: I really wanna Rio: but we leave so early Buster: You should go then Buster: Sleep Rio: but Buster: I know Buster: But I'll be there, won't I, you always dream about me Rio: Hmm so you reckon Buster: Come on Rio: You Rio: don't you wanna offer to make me sleepy? Rio: amateur Buster: Sleepy ain't the word Rio: I don't reckon you can get me to pass out from there but alright Buster: You don't? Rio: Nope Rio: don't feel bad, like 😉 Buster: Answer your phone & do exactly what I tell you, let's see how we both feel then Rio: [does, duh] Buster: [opened pandoras box here lads] Rio: [least you can do this to your hearts content no matter where y'all is, 'cept when Ryan is around, which is sadly too often] Buster: [god bless technology especially the waterproof phones of the future] Rio: [defs a thing] Buster: [they should fall asleep on the phone together though] Rio: [deffo]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Calm down Janis: almost as keen as him Jimmy: like a kid at a birthday you Jimmy: sort it out Janis: I know Janis: he's just SO interesting Jimmy: & HOT Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: like OMG Janis: 😂 Janis: when generations of inbreeding has done wonders for you and your bank account Janis: sign me up and get out the way, gracie Jimmy: I'll see myself out Jimmy: 💔 gutted Jimmy: call me later boy Janis: soz you can't compete 🤷 Jimmy: it ain't my fault I can feel the #nohomo from here Janis: just making you feel at home Janis: so considerate Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: falling for him Janis: do you reckon we've misunderstood the purpose of a double date or Jimmy: hang on, is it not that you're fucking him & your sister is fucking me? Jimmy: that's what I signed up for Janis: un🍀 Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: suppose I'll have to go home with you then Jimmy: bit rude but Janis: no one's more disappointed than I am Janis: trust Jimmy: yeah, I can feel it from you Janis: Can't feel nothing from there Janis: why do you have to sit opposite Janis: has she made that up Jimmy: for the 😍 to really hit Jimmy: [gives her a genuinely sexy look though] Janis: stop that Jimmy: that's what the seating plan is actually for Jimmy: your sister can't play hard to get if he can touch her under the table Jimmy: & neither can you Janis: 😒 Janis: really Jimmy: really Janis: behave Janis: this is a fancy establishment Jimmy: you working here? Janis: I don't work Janis: I distract other people from theirs Jimmy: then I ain't gotta Jimmy: do nowt Jimmy: especially behave Janis: gotta do something Janis: operation piss mia off Jimmy: I'm here looking the part Jimmy: job done Jimmy: this is operation drink you under the table, lightweight Janis: then we need more drinks Janis: not asking him, probably click his fingers Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: be a hero Janis: yours Janis: i know 💪 Jimmy: save me from this & I'll think about it Janis: [gets drinks] Jimmy: [does a glass clink but just with her cos he rude] Janis: 🥂 Janis: You're on Jimmy: [downs half of his drink (only half cos money & he ain't gonna her order more straight away like a tit) 'cause 1.challenge accepted but 2.he needs it 'cause lord this date Janis: [keeps up and then some 'cos that bitch] Janis: when can we leave Jimmy: now? Janis: wanted to run up more of a bill to leave him with Janis: but christ Jimmy: Grace'll do it Jimmy: we both know fake 💕 when we see 'em Janis: experts Jimmy: she's decent at this Jimmy: not as good as me but 🥈 Janis: makes a life out of it so should hope so Jimmy: you should've got some tips mate Janis: fuck off 🙄 Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: alright Jimmy: in a bit Jimmy: [downs his drink & gets up but only going to the toilet lbr not leaving] Janis: you're such an idiot Jimmy: you love me Jimmy: so you're the idiot Janis: I can change Janis: you'll always be a dickhead Jimmy: change into a bigger dickhead, yeah Janis: one that don't fuck w you though so Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: [comes back & with more drinks but puts both of 'em next to him cos he's a child] Janis: 'scuse me Jimmy: ? Janis: play fair Jimmy: [gives her a look like idk what you mean cos nerd] Jimmy: be nice to me Janis: [has to lean over and grab drink excuse me everyone] Janis: you Jimmy: [has to lean over & kiss her excuse him everyone] Janis: 😏 Janis: reckon I'm well in Jimmy: don't you reckon you need some more drinks first Jimmy: he's a bit Jimmy: what's the word? keen Janis: Hmm Janis: true Janis: and I'm no lightweight so Jimmy: still only got your word on that Janis: play your cards right and you'll see 🍀 Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: come to mine though Jimmy: my dad'll love how pissed you'll be Jimmy: might as well piss him off tonight too Janis: 🙄 Not the rep I'm after but bit late to salvage what we coulda had, Ian so Janis: 👍 Jimmy: do call him Ian in a bit 👍 Jimmy: 😂 Janis: Mr Taylor? Janis: ew Janis: you ain't a teacher Jimmy: that much of a dickhead Jimmy: & got the ☕ breath Janis: 😬 Janis: not planning to get that familiar thank you Jimmy: bet he's 💔💔 Jimmy: thin line between love & hate Janis: 😂 Janis: obvs Janis: everyone loves me Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: so 😎 Jimmy: 🚬 break, cool girl? Jimmy: or your sister got you 🚭 Janis: ha, she wishes Janis: let's go Jimmy: [takes off the shirt before they go outside cos gotta return that shit can't be getting smoke on it, good thing he ain't topless that'd be awks] Janis: 😳 steady on Janis: make it more obvious, lad Jimmy: that's what we're here for Jimmy: being #goals Jimmy: & I am so Janis: [walking n talking obvs] Janis: you reckon I ain't pulling my weight? Janis: rude Jimmy: just trying to keep you on top, babe Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt like Janis: I remember how much you liked that Janis: don't worry Jimmy: 😳 you steady on Janis: 🚬 about it, baby Jimmy: til I can 🎨 Jimmy: you'll like that Janis: obvs 😍 Jimmy: I ain't forgot you need that nude Jimmy: & twitter Jimmy: & the world Janis: Shh Jimmy: make me Janis: [smoochin'] Jimmy: you fucked up Jimmy: meant to be goals in there not out here Janis: You want me to stop? Jimmy: can you? Jimmy: always #goals you Janis: cross to bear, like Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: me too Janis: that's why we're a team Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: and you know Janis: who else was gonna fake date you Jimmy: you know there was a town full of lasses who would Janis: only got your word for that Jimmy: if that's a challenge you also know I'll accept it Janis: no Janis: [pouty face] Jimmy: [kisses but does the hot pull in the pouty lip thing cos you gotta] Janis: I already don't wanna go back in Janis: don't need to convince me Jimmy: you want me to stop? Janis: [goes in 'cos obviously not] Jimmy: what if we just don't go back in Janis: but your beautiful pink shirt Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: buy me a new one, rich girl Janis: 😏 buy you a better one maybe Janis: [is looking at phone and not replying 'cos Grace be blowing it up] Jimmy: nowt hard 'bout that Jimmy: you just wanna get me in the changing room Jimmy: obvious you Janis: 'scuse me tryna fufill your broken promises, bitch Jimmy: that why you're ignoring me Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: I ain't my fault you wanted to stay in bed, girl Janis: nah, it's her SOSing Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: told you, can't play hard to get when Jimmy: gimme your phone Jimmy: gotta reply to my girl really quick Janis: 😑 Janis: fine Janis: you go back and be a hero, I'll go Jimmy: where you go, I go Jimmy: remember Janis: wanna go see your girlfriend then or what Jimmy: I'm looking at her Jimmy: [is] Janis: Nerd Jimmy: [kisses her for encouragement cos they a team & they can do this] Janis: once more unto the breach, my friend Jimmy: she'll only fuck it up if we don't Janis: 🤷 Janis: he wishes Jimmy: I didn't wear pink so you could shrug Jimmy: & Mia could win Jimmy: get it together Janis: thought you were #experimenting now you're free Jimmy: free of the north not the mindset Jimmy: my masculinity is way too fragile Jimmy: so come on Jimmy: [slaps her booty like they do in sports for some reason] Janis: [shoves him yeah you mind so much] Janis: 👌 Jimmy: [back at the table like hey guys] Jimmy: 💕 Janis: She's not been assaulted, job done Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: still got yours to do though, mate Jimmy: 🍹 Janis: [more drinks more drinks] Janis: catch up boy Jimmy: [does] Janis: how you feeling, lightweight Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: good as you look Jimmy: so come over here & be #goals for the 📷 Janis: You being nice again now? Jimmy: when weren't I Janis: not got the time to list Janis: not very #goals Janis: let me count all the ways Janis: you are a massive dickhead Janis: 💕 Jimmy: we can go now Jimmy: you've proved what a romantic you are Janis: not the challenge is it Janis: 🍾 Jimmy: you've also proved you can't handle your drink about as many times Janis: why you giving up? Jimmy: as much as you need the chance Jimmy: nah Janis: [is about to try and leave when Grace drags her to the bathroom] Janis: help.me. Jimmy: say I'm having a medical emergency Jimmy: always works that Janis: what, my jimmy senses are tingling Janis: he's trapped down a well again gotta go bye Jimmy: alright well if I come in & just start kissing you, what's she gonna do? Jimmy: hang on Janis: not entirely sure we wanna find out Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: tell her I said this lad is flirting with a waitress Jimmy: that'll get her moving Janis: 👍 idea Janis: also tah for not taking your chance w him yourself Jimmy: I thought about it but he keeps getting olives in his drinks Janis: sexy Janis: cunt think he's james bond or Jimmy: probably Jimmy: though I don't reckon trying to look up lass' skirts technically makes you a spy Janis: 😂 Janis: she's fuming I ain't listening now 'cos actually lol Jimmy: I'm fuming I can't smack this dickhead like I did the one from the other night Janis: don't even need to be quick about it she's still going a mile a minute in here Janis: avoid the face if you wanna keep it hush Janis: #amatuerian Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: if you don't hurry up you're gonna be so many drinks behind, girl Jimmy: downing 'em since I can't drop him Janis: that bad Jimmy: he's trying to have #ladbants with me Jimmy: I'd rather alcohol poisoning Janis: really gotta come save you Janis: [casually walks out like enough now grace] Jimmy: come here Jimmy: actually need you Janis: [forever lap sitting like you gon be getting looks in this place] Janis: hey Janis: what's up Jimmy: [lil make out moment cos gotta take what you can get ladies & it can go on the story for Mia so win win] Janis: that made all the rest of this almost worth it Jimmy: almost? Jimmy: [make out x 2 cos gotta do better than almost] Janis: just wanted to do it again Janis: did the first time but Jimmy: we can do this all night Jimmy: but let's also do shots Janis: oh you're THAT dickhead, yeah? 😏 Janis: alright, easy 💪 Jimmy: what kind? Jimmy: if you mean the winning kind then yeah Janis: I mean SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS Janis: idk why you wouldn't talk to Janis: ryan Janis: so much in common Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: trying to keep things bearable without fucking you at the table is the kind of dickhead I am Janis: 😳 Jimmy: [gets shots brought to 'em cos doesn't want her to have to move basically ever] Janis: [gets straight on it 'cos rather think she was pink from being tipsy like] Jimmy: [also has to get straight on it 'cos she has] Jimmy: for a fancy place it don't taste no different Jimmy: bit rude Janis: was you expecting to taste the stars, babe? Janis: you're cute Jimmy: you're pretty Jimmy: snide to me though Janis: Am not! Janis: name one time Jimmy: literally just then, diickhead Janis: I meant it Janis: 😒 Janis: never being nice to you ever again Jimmy: really Janis: really Janis: this is my serious face Janis: [is not, dork] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear 'but what if I'm nice to you, are you not gonna be nice back?' and does the earlobe thing cos rude] Janis: [whispers back 'are you gonna?' 'cos how does it feel jimothy the tables hath turned] Jimmy: [kisses her again cos what can he say, she got him good there] Janis: It's a start Jimmy: I can start something anytime to you want Jimmy: [touches her under the table but in a teasing like don't test me way not like WE'RE DOING THIS] Janis: boy Jimmy: ? Jimmy: too nice? Jimmy: 👌 Janis: too something Janis: i hate you you know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: loud & clear 'bout it, babe Janis: 👍 Janis: don't wanna get it twisted here Jimmy: 'course not Janis: where do you wanna go after this hell is over Jimmy: where do you wanna go? Janis: was just wondering if you wanted to keep being a ladladlad Jimmy: if it means I can drink more & get in a fight Jimmy: then alright Janis: 😎 Janis: let's find somewhere not shit then Jimmy: get on it, local girl Jimmy: impress me Janis: been there, done that Janis: you think of an excuse while I'm pondering Jimmy: why do we need one? Janis: you reckon gracie is gonna let you just silently bow out Janis: there's only 4 of us, bit obvious, babe Jimmy: we done our bit Jimmy: & she don't need me to hold her hair back tonight so Jimmy: supposed to leave him wanting more not drag this shit out til we're all 💀 Janis: 🤢 Janis: x2 Janis: you'll make yourself sick again Jimmy: what are you on about? Jimmy: I weren't Janis: nearly Janis: poorly ted Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: misremembering you Janis: nah Janis: remember everything Jimmy: easy to say Janis: test me Jimmy: What colour was Bethany's punch bowl from 1997? Janis: 😏 you're going with that Janis: one of those mixing bowls everyone's ma has Janis: mustardy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: memory of an 🐘 me Jimmy: I'll remember that Janis: 🙄😂 Janis: dad jokes Jimmy: you called me a good dad that night so it felt appropriate Janis: shoe fits, cinders Jimmy: only left one baby in the CG 🏆 Janis: that you know of Jimmy: get it right, babe, coulda left 100s up north Jimmy: unless you got summat to tell me there ain't no more round here Janis: why do you think pete was off Janis: dundundun Jimmy: you knocked up Pete? Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: he had a great career ahead of him Janis: I know Janis: and body Janis: #ruined Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: so selfish you Janis: life-ruiner Janis: don't you know Jimmy: you did warn me 'bout mine but I reckoned you'd leave Pete out Jimmy: so innocent him Jimmy: 😭😭 Janis: such a bitch Janis: i know i know Janis: least i'm rich Janis: get that child support, boy Jimmy: oi do you want summat money can't buy? Janis: ? Janis: intrigued Jimmy: lower your expectations first Jimmy: [gives her a napkin that he drew a pisstaking doodle of this lad on when he was left alone with] Jimmy: stole that from the bar 'cause he ain't worth a tapestry Janis: [loves it] Janis: still might frame it Janis: put it in gracie's room, freak her out Jimmy: [actually lols] Janis: [heart eyes motherfucker] Janis: k we're going Jimmy: one sec Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause one for the road, just gotta annoy everyone for a last time] Jimmy: alright Janis: Idiot Janis: [takes his hand and bounces] Jimmy: so where we headed? Janis: you like surprises? Jimmy: depends Janis: let's go with yeah Jimmy: make me Janis: that's the plan Jimmy: [🚬s & struts cos that dickhead] Janis: [catches up 'cos not hard w dem legs and takes it 'cos cheeky] Jimmy: rude Jimmy: [playfight cos its been ages] Janis: you know I'm always gonna win, babe Jimmy: only 'cause I gotta let you Jimmy: such a girl Janis: Now it suits ya Janis: dickhead Jimmy: It ain't my fault winning suits you Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: #whipped 😘 Jimmy: on the 'gram maybe Jimmy: nowt real Janis: mhmm Jimmy: you trying to start a real brawl now then? Janis: 😂 Janis: Pretty bold for a boy who just got his ass handed to him aren't ya Jimmy: listen, I told you, I had to let you win Janis: okay, something you don't have to let me win in Janis: race ya Janis: [bolts shameless cheat] Jimmy: [don't move] Jimmy: piss off am I running Janis: [shouts] CAN'T HEAR YOU Jimmy: you too drunk to read already yeah? Janis: [jogging on the spot] keep up then pussy Janis: or you'll get lost Janis: AGAIN Jimmy: [stubbornly stays] Jimmy: someone'll find me Janis: Have fun with someone then Janis: 🤞 it ain't them coming out Jimmy: do worse than that threesome Jimmy: bet he loves a mirror more than that other lad Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you are disgusting Jimmy: if you throw up, you lose Janis: 1. if i threw up so would you so Janis: 2. you ain't gonna find out if you're so busy being basic with your bffs so so Jimmy: piss off Janis: moody Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: [sends location and not that far so] Janis: if you stop being boring Jimmy: you stop Janis: what Jimmy: being the world's biggest dickhead Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: [is ignoring cos gutted] Janis: are you seriously not coming Jimmy: 💔💔 Janis: this is ridiculous Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: be like that then Jimmy: you started it Janis: I didn't do nothing wrong Jimmy: be like that then Janis: what Janis: what's the problem Jimmy: nowt Janis: then come on Janis: you wanted to go out somewhere not shit Janis: I ain't gone in, I'm out front Jimmy: & now I don't Janis: alright Janis: fuck you and all then Jimmy: fuck me 'cause you're being Jimmy: alright Jimmy: 🖕 Janis: being what Janis: I'd have come back if you were that arsed Jimmy: just Janis: I don't get it Jimmy: I know Janis: see you 'round then Jimmy: will you? Janis: I don't know, will I? Janis: wanna make that into a game Janis: why not Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: it's not Jimmy: that's why not Janis: don't tell me to shut up Jimmy: don't chat shit Janis: How am I Jimmy: I just told you, it ain't a game Jimmy: don't say that Janis: it ain't to me either Janis: but Janis: what the fuck Jimmy: leave it out Janis: I will, I'll leave you alone Jimmy: you already have Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what Jimmy: I'm alone now, aren't I Janis: I'd only have to walk like Janis: 20 steps and I could see you Jimmy: don't take the piss out of me Janis: I ain't Janis: but I don't know why you're so mad about it Jimmy: you are though so Janis: you clearly wanna be in a mood Janis: or want an out so yeah Janis: if you like, sure Jimmy: I'm in a mood you put me in Janis: 👍 Janis: alright Jimmy: I wanna go home so I am Jimmy: nowt else Janis: like I said, see you around then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [walks past] Jimmy: [is literally just hanging around moodily 🚬 cos don't wanna go home so can't pretend he don't see her] Janis: you got money for bus or what Jimmy: I'm walking Jimmy: [but isn't cos literally ain't moved have you boy] Janis: Jim Jimmy: ? Janis: this is bollocks Janis: talk to me Jimmy: & say what Jimmy: you just said it's bollocks Janis: I meant Janis: I don't care about this enough to fight Janis: how can I Janis: I keep telling you I don't even know what this is Jimmy: then don't Jimmy: don't care about it Jimmy: don't fight me Jimmy: whatever Janis: tell me what I should do Janis: not what I shouldnt Jimmy: how do I know? Jimmy: you left me Jimmy: & it's bollocks Janis: but I didn't Janis: I'm here Janis: I was just Jimmy: & at the party too Jimmy: you were just Jimmy: you just walk away from me all the time Janis: when at the party? Jimmy: when we had to chase each other around the place Janis: I don't know if I remember but Janis: I don't do it on purpose Janis: I didn't know it was something I was doing Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: like you said, who cares Janis: well it obviously does Jimmy: nah Janis: you gonna be my mate again then Jimmy: [does a lil lol can't help it] Jimmy: don't be funny right now Jimmy: it's not Janis: sorry Janis: can't stop being #goals ever, you know that Jimmy: yeah, massive burden that Janis: do you want me to go Jimmy: do you want to? Janis: No Janis: I told you Jimmy: what do you want then? Janis: Just talk to me Janis: like it was before Janis: tell me how to fix it if I've gotta Jimmy: I don't know Janis: you saying I can't or give you time Janis: just tell me that at least Jimmy: I'm just saying go if you're going Janis: I'm not Janis: I wasn't trying to go Jimmy: you weren't Janis: no Janis: just take you somewhere worth being Janis: just us Jimmy: do you still wanna? Janis: do you? Jimmy: that's not an answer Janis: well, obviously I do Jimmy: then let's go Janis: yeah? Janis: okay Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [the deepest of deep breaths to ever] Janis: [not sure if she should or nah so gives him a tentative shoulder squeeze like idk but I wanna] Jimmy: [hugs her for ages 'cause is there ever a moment when they don't need comfort goddamn these babies] Janis: [kisses him full of soft love bitch] Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: Me too Jimmy: I still like you Janis: Good Janis: swear Jimmy: [kisses her again so I don't drop the other L word] Janis: [puts her hand out] Janis: let's go Jimmy: [let's get 'em in there] Jimmy: [gets drinks immediately 'cause 1.challenge & 2. needs to 'forget' any of that happened] Janis: 🥂 Slainte Jimmy: cheers Jimmy: [downs it for the above reasons] Janis: you really wanna win, yeah Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: or nowt Jimmy: remember Janis: I do Janis: [lbr isn't far behind 'cos stressed] Jimmy: [gets more drinks] Janis: what you reckon then Janis: anyone you wanna brawl in here Jimmy: not so far Jimmy: you? Janis: I'm good Janis: night's still young-ish Jimmy: thank feck for that Jimmy: need that craic you Janis: calling me boring Janis: rude Jimmy: that was you about me Jimmy: was a bit rude Janis: shh Janis: you said you didn't wanna brawl Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: not you Jimmy: [doesn't, like would literally have been touching her in some small way constantly since she put her hand out 'cause soft boy] Janis: Good Janis: [snuggles into him sim style] Jimmy: I really fucking like you Janis: I know Janis: me too Janis: [more soft kissing] Jimmy: [more sim style snuggling and him playing with her hair cos SOFTEST] Janis: [whispers 'please don't be mad at me again'] Jimmy: I wasn't Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: you just Jimmy: don't scare me again, alright Janis: I didn't mean to Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: [more kisses because IT'S ALRIGHT BABE IT AIN'T YOU & WE KNOW THAT] Janis: I'm just bad at all this stuff Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: you're Jimmy: like perfect Jimmy: it's why I need you to stay Janis: well, I ain't Janis: but I ain't going anywhere either so Jimmy: [is heart eyes cos she is & we know it] Janis: you're so Jimmy: stupid, yeah Jimmy: I know I fucked up Jimmy: again Janis: that's not what I was gonna say shut up Janis: and you didn't Janis: everything's fixable, yeah Jimmy: I'm shutting up Jimmy: [finishes drink number whatever the fuck] Jimmy: 👍 Janis: but Janis: tell me things too yeah Janis: just to be awkward about it Janis: [dranks] Jimmy: what do you want me to tell you, awkward girl? Janis: when i fuck up Janis: lemme sort it Janis: only fair right Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: but you didn't Jimmy: I'm just weird Janis: maybe Janis: but so am I Janis: that's how we like it right Jimmy: [clinks their empty glasses cos yeah bitch & goes to get more] Janis: It's a good thing School doesn't start tomorrow Jimmy: you admitting you can't handle your drink? Janis: nah Janis: admitting I don't wanna do first day back with a hangover Jimmy: I don't wanna do first day back Jimmy: let's just not Janis: not like we'll miss anything important Janis: ever, tbh Jimmy: think of summat you wanna do/where you wanna go Jimmy: whatever it is, challenge accepted Janis: okay Janis: but can we get back in bed once your dad's gone 'cos fuck you Janis: for a bit Janis: I'll put away the 😍 to plan Jimmy: I ain't gonna refuse Jimmy: even if my dad was your #1 fan Jimmy: but you have to multitask 😍 & planning Janis: that's be even more uncomfortable tbh Janis: alright Janis: easy 💪 Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you know it babe Jimmy: [kisses but less soft & more hot cos he does know it] Janis: reminding me why we're a team Janis: alright Jimmy: if you reckon you need reminding I better not stop Jimmy: [doesn't] Janis: poor choice of word Janis: not all poets like pete Jimmy: so you do want me to stop Jimmy: 'cause you're thinking of Pete Jimmy: alright Janis: why would that mean stop 😏 Jimmy: you can't think about him when I'm being distracting Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: still working on the multitasking thing, yeah Janis: shh Janis: don't stop Janis: please Jimmy: [kisses her again but goes harder cos she said please] Janis: [indicates at the empties and goes up to get more 'cos damn what a night] Jimmy: [drinks but not as dramatically cos soft boy has been reassured thanks] Janis: are you even tipsy Jimmy: how drunk are you? Janis: I can't say Janis: that's the challenge but I need comparison Jimmy: you want me to say Jimmy: sneaky you Janis: not sneaky Janis: you reckon you can handle yours so we're just testing me really Janis: 👀 tell me tell me Jimmy: I can feel it Jimmy: but maybe its just you making me feel Janis: such a little sweet talker Jimmy: it's no line, you just make me all 😳 Jimmy: what do you feel like? Jimmy: gimme a hint Janis: [kisses him the hardest yet 'cos] Janis: like that Jimmy: & you're still standing Jimmy: impressive Jimmy: what are you after if you win then? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: [lil make out while she's thinking] Janis: you're giving me lots of ideas right now Janis: very inspiring Jimmy: [goes the hardest he has yet obvs] Janis: you won't be too sore a loser, will you baby? Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but only 'cause I want you to make it better Jimmy: if I'm so sore, what are you gonna do? Janis: fuck Janis: show me where you need and I'll kiss it all better Jimmy: [kisses her neck in a really sexy way cos they in a mood now] Jimmy: it'd be a start I reckon Jimmy: if you just Jimmy: [keeps going but does more cos rude] Janis: just like that? Janis: [mirrors what he's doing] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: that's Janis: starting to feel a bit better? Jimmy: I thought I would but Jimmy: now I just ache Janis: Baby boy Janis: [covering him in kisses and sliding onto his lap, yet again] Jimmy: [has to keep kissing her so he doesn't make all the sounds which nobody else needs to hear excuse you] Janis: I can Janis: I can feel you Jimmy: can you touch me Janis: [does] Janis: you're gonna have to kiss me to keep quiet Jimmy: [blatantly does have to] Janis: I missed you Janis: [keeping up sexy eye contact] Jimmy: I missed you too Jimmy: so much Janis: I really like you so, so much Jimmy: I really really like you Jimmy: you're Janis: God I Jimmy: say it Janis: You mean it Jimmy: don't stop yourself Jimmy: don't stop any of it Janis: you don't know what I wanna say Jimmy: but I want to hear you say everything you want Janis: [has to go harder on what she's doing like girl shh] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: [has to kiss her harder cos damn] Janis: I'm gonna fuck you so hard Jimmy: I know baby Jimmy: I can Jimmy: feel that Janis: you're so hot Jimmy: you Janis: these jeans are yours, aren't they Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: it's alright Janis: thank god Janis: you can feel me some more Jimmy: I Janis: You Janis: you're so good, Jimmy Jimmy: [says her name cos can't even help it at this point] Janis: [shushing him with kisses but is smirking so smug] Jimmy: is anyone looking at us? Janis: [has to look 'cos do you ever care lads?] Janis: maybe but they looked away when I did Janis: why? Jimmy: we can't get kicked out of here yet Jimmy: I need Janis: I'll be good Jimmy: you are Janis: want me to stop though? Jimmy: please don't Janis: I'm so glad because Janis: I really don't want to Janis: this is Jimmy: [kissing her so he don't say anything OTT or make even more noise cos boy I'll kill you] Janis: you taste so Janis: I think I'm drunk now Jimmy: I think you're 🥇 Jimmy: so fucking Janis: One day you're gonna tell me everything you hold back Janis: and I'm gonna fucking Jimmy: [kisses because I nearly fucking typed it SOS] Janis: You look so Janis: damn Jimmy: you Jimmy: you're so beautiful Janis: where did you even come from like Janis: how did this happen Jimmy: thank your sister in a bit if you're pissed enough Janis: rather thank you Janis: if it's all the same Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I'm in no position to argue Janis: hell yeah you ain't Jimmy: so be nice to me Jimmy: please Janis: shit Janis: how nice Jimmy: I need you to be really nice to me Janis: I mean Janis: do you want me to make you cum here Jimmy: I do but Jimmy: I don't wanna get you in trouble Janis: we'll both get into trouble, drag you down with me Janis: but okay Janis: wanna find somewhere Jimmy: I'm gonna need a sec if we're moving Janis: I don't wanna Janis: just be good, keep kissing me Jimmy: you're so good though Janis: for you Jimmy: don't look at me like that Jimmy: I'm Janis: close Janis: I can feel it Jimmy: baby Janis: let it happen Janis: I'll keep us out of trouble Jimmy: I trust you Jimmy: you know Janis: I know Janis: I'll show you you can Jimmy: alright Janis: I'm being so good 😇 Janis: you know how badly I wanna just move all our clothes to the side and ride you 'til we both cum right now Janis: like, where's my 🥇 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I want that too Janis: when we get back to yours Janis: or somewhere slightly less public, at least Jimmy: I promise I'll fuck you long before we get to my house Jimmy: it'll take ages Janis: see, when you're nice you're very nice Jimmy: I'm selfish Jimmy: I wanna see it Jimmy: hear it Jimmy: all of that before then Janis: i want it too so Janis: be as selfish with me as you like Jimmy: we could do it now Jimmy: just like you said Janis: can we Jimmy: it's loud in here Jimmy: louder than your brother's van Janis: true Janis: fuck Janis: we're actually doing this okay Jimmy: we don't have to Jimmy: but you want to Jimmy: I want to Janis: I need to Janis: I feel so Jimmy: we need to be quiet though Jimmy: show me again Jimmy: how do I Janis: yeah Janis: alright Janis: [leans forward to do the repositioning they need to do and bites his lip pretty hard when she sits back down, pulling him toward her] Janis: don't be afraid of a little pain, it's good Jimmy: I'm not scared Jimmy: I feel like Janis: like you can do anything Janis: me too Janis: we can Jimmy: I don't care about anything but you Jimmy: this Janis: this is all that matters right now Janis: all that other shit is gone it's just how fucking Janis: perfect you feel Jimmy: you're the best thing that's ever happened to me Jimmy: literally ever Janis: Jimmy Janis: [has to kiss him or the sounds and the l word like lord playing with fire kids] Jimmy: you look Janis: stay Janis: okay Jimmy: where else would I be going? Jimmy: I need to be right here right now Janis: good, don't Janis: let's keep it going long as we can okay Jimmy: not just gonna bin my 🥇 Janis: just checking Janis: cos this is Jimmy: it's Jimmy: [has to kiss her for being quiet reasons not me trying to type ILY for once] Janis: [letting out them sounds in his ear 'cos don't waste 'em] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: I can't fucking say it as loud as I want so take it Jimmy: like I can't remember when I didn't even know what your name was Janis: I can't Janis: begin to explain how fucking glad I am I met you Janis: and I wanna take it bad, so fuck loud give it to me hard Jimmy: I can feel how glad you are & it's Jimmy: [also does cos too late now to have any chill] Janis: Oh my God I Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm Janis: Please do it Janis: I'm ready I want it Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: I'm gonna Janis: cum in me baby Jimmy: [how polite to just do what you're told like that Jimothy] Janis: I Janis: did we just do that Jimmy: I can still feel it so Janis: I fucking Janis: I have no words I don't know why I'm trying Jimmy: don't dump me when I can't compete with that in a bit Janis: never Janis: you're always good Janis: good not being a good enough word Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: #same not being a good enough # Janis: you're stuck with me for a bit Janis: said you don't mind Jimmy: I want you Jimmy: even more than I want a 🚬 & not to have to look any of these dickheads in the eye Jimmy: which right now is a lot Janis: genuinely have no idea how loud or quiet or plain obvious we were then Janis: my brain couldn't even care Janis: we should probably take that 🚬 and run though, just in case Jimmy: I stopped thinking properly ages ago Jimmy: but you're full of good ideas so let's go with 'em Jimmy: you wanna go home or just somewhere else where we ain't fucked in front of everyone? Janis: very inspiring, I told you Janis: kinda just wanna go home but gimme a minute and we'll see 'cos I still can't think of anything but you so Jimmy: [takes her hand so they can go for that 🚬] Jimmy: you're shaking still Janis: I know Janis: I feel like you'd only have to look at me right now and I could cum again it's Janis: crazy Jimmy: let's get outside & I'll see what I can do Jimmy: [does look at her though cos cheeky] Janis: oi Jimmy: ? Janis: I'm so serious Janis: I'll die Jimmy: I'm serious Jimmy: like you said, the night's young-ish Janis: Gimme 🚬 time to recover though Jimmy: [lights up & passes it to her 'cause that's love bitch] Janis: 😊 Jimmy: I know Jimmy: #goals Janis: are though Janis: actual Janis: bit rude Jimmy: can't stop Jimmy: which is a bit rude Jimmy: soz Janis: let you off Janis: long as you don't Jimmy: [kisses her to show that he'll keep being #goals forever] Janis: hope you didn't like that pub too much Janis: can't go back now Jimmy: I already don't remember nowt about it Jimmy: your fault Janis: 🤷 Janis: taking that as a win Jimmy: it'll make the loss of being a lightweight easier babe Janis: that's your fault, I told you Janis: what do you want for winning then Jimmy: I don't reckon I can ask for owt after that Jimmy: be a dickhead wouldn't I Janis: but you are, babe Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: I like it Jimmy: I like you Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [Snuggles 'cos shh] Jimmy: [after much snuggling and smoking time] Jimmy: where we going then? Janis: I don't care Janis: anywhere we can get lost Jimmy: we'll just walk then Jimmy: come on Janis: [hand holding cuteness] Jimmy: [shit club looms] Jimmy: up for the challenge? Janis: 😣🔫 Janis: nothing challenging 'bout it but the company Janis: go on though Jimmy: for you you're a hot girl Jimmy: might have to have that fight me Janis: will if anyone tries to dance with you Jimmy: if anyone tries to dance with you Jimmy: I will give 'em a smack yeah Janis: so goals us Jimmy: get it on 📷 when I win Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: be nice for you to win for once 😉 Jimmy: piss off Janis: nice for me too Janis: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: now we gotta go in Jimmy: can't turn down a challenge like that Janis: 💪 Janis: [is in] Jimmy: [takes her straight to the dance floor cos we know what we're here for lads] Janis: you're actually good at this Jimmy: I get it, I'm white Jimmy: but you don't have to sound so #shook Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm just saying Janis: worth 🥊 for Jimmy: you just out romantic-ed yourself Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: get me on twitter or a rooftop Janis: wish I was living that lavish 🤑 Janis: soz babe Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: that bloke there looks really lavish Jimmy: crack on Janis: Back to trying to hoe me out Janis: thought we were past that 😕 Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: just trying to keep you playing to your strengths babe Janis: so you can get on the 'gram for the flex Janis: 😒 Jimmy: #duh Jimmy: nowt else matters Janis: Mean Janis: Imma push you off this imaginary roof Jimmy: you can try 💪 Janis: be nice Jimmy: [dancing in a sexy way that's gonna feel really nice cos shameless boy] Janis: Oh Jimmy: something you wanna say? Janis: lots of things but Jimmy: but you're speechless 'cause of how hot I am Jimmy: I get it Janis: oh, thanks Janis: that really turned me off Janis: so thoughtful Jimmy: all part of the deal Janis: I must've forgot that part Jimmy: [actually lols cos where's the lie she turns him on all the time] Jimmy: you really fucked up the whole virgin thing Jimmy: meant to know nowt about turning people on Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: sounding like my sister Jimmy: actually just 💔 me Jimmy: gonna go throw up right now & then sign up for youtube Janis: 😂 Janis: what are you gonna tutorial, babe Jimmy: who knows Jimmy: good at everything me Janis: 🤔 Janis: can only think of things that would get you banned Jimmy: first vid can be what to do when your dad's a dickhead & your girlfriend's fake Jimmy: very #relatable Janis: 💔 Janis: and not a girl, don't forget Jimmy: then just turns into smoothie recipes Jimmy: 'cause how to win that GIRL over Janis: 😏 Janis: nice save Jimmy: Pete's gonna watch then come for you Jimmy: but I'm ready Janis: I wish Janis: get my hopes up Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Jimmy: he'll be worth the wait though Jimmy: even though he won't know the secret ingredient Janis: 👀👀 Jimmy: just put some Classic FM on & recline in your bed dramatically til then Janis: yours Jimmy: you ain't fucking that stud of a lad in my tiny bed Jimmy: get it together Jimmy: Pete deserves the best Janis: 😂 Janis: but Janis: I'll miss you Jimmy: ring me after Jimmy: he smokes more than I do Jimmy: not gonna have the stamina Janis: 💕 Janis: always gonna be my hero, yeah Jimmy: you know it Janis: [kisses him but make it playfyl or it'll get real again Jimmy: do you want a drink or you done now the challenge is? Janis: once you're out you're out Janis: go on Jimmy: hang on then Jimmy: be right back Janis: don't lose me Janis: so many dickheads in here Jimmy: I can find my way to the bar without getting lost Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: don't dance with anyone I can't beat the shit out of Janis: struggle w my type but Janis: do my best Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: tah babe Jimmy: so thoughtful Janis: don't want you reckoning I've got an actual weird kink Janis: 💉 Jimmy: kinda sounds like you do now Jimmy: protesting bit much Janis: Shut up Janis: I don't wanna fuck you up to fix you Janis: not that psycho Jimmy: just wanna fuck me up Jimmy: I remember Jimmy: got that warning Janis: that was forever ago Janis: I'm a different person 💁 Jimmy: yeah? Jimmy: who are you Jimmy: always forgetting, me Janis: whoever you want, obvs Janis: that's the deal Jimmy: now you sound like your sister Jimmy: stop Janis: how dare you Jimmy: is she still blowing your phone up? Janis: I ain't looked Janis: she's on mute don't tell her Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: but if you wanna turn it off Jimmy: I will use my words Janis: yeah? Jimmy: yeah Janis: what if I was scared Janis: a bit Janis: I ain't Janis: but what if Jimmy: I get it, the accent's a bit Jimmy: but you know how to shut me up so Jimmy: nowt scary Janis: 😂 Janis: alright Janis: deal Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: [comes back with drinks then] Janis: [drinking faster than necessary now calm down] Jimmy: [starts dancing with her so she can't drink as far cos we see you babe] Jimmy: *fast Janis: [is all like 'hey!' but dances with obvs, not that mad] Jimmy: [kisses her so she can't be mad even though he knows she ain't really] Janis: [are getting jostled about how you do in clubs] Jimmy: [is mad about it cos how dare they not be the only peeps who exist] Janis: [tries to move 'em away best you can, like, so she can kiss him back properly] Jimmy: [kissing and dancing for a bit cos let 'em world] Janis: okay but I can't hear shit Janis: not giving in Janis: but Jimmy: sounds like an excuse Jimmy: but yeah literally nowt except whatever these shit tunes are Jimmy: to be continued for a night when you can hear me Janis: if you ain't got nothing nice to say 😏 Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: nah Janis: I missed you though Jimmy: you're cute Janis: you being sarky or Janis: 🤔 Janis: suss Jimmy: now I know you're pissed Jimmy: if you can't tell Janis: Pssssssssh Jimmy: you're gonna be wearing that drink in a sec Jimmy: & it ain't gonna be my fault Janis: 😱 Janis: #storytimeiwasTHREATENED Jimmy: nowt to do with me, like I said Jimmy: only meant 'cause you're a pisshead surrounded by 'em Jimmy: [puts an arm around her in a protective barrier kinda way] Janis: you're cute Janis: 😉 Jimmy: shhh Janis: well I mean it Janis: just fyi Jimmy: yeah? Janis: Mhmm Janis: I speak only the truth Jimmy: that's why its only bollocks then Jimmy: 'cause course you do, pisshead Janis: what you mean Janis: dickhead Jimmy: drunks only speak the 'truth' like Janis: I'm not drunk Janis: and I do Janis: so 🖕 Jimmy: come on Jimmy: tell me something properly true then Janis: that's vague Jimmy: go on, sober girl Jimmy: rise to the challenge Janis: 🙄 Janis: hold on Janis: [winnie thinking] Jimmy: [lols cos so cute] Janis: you're too cute for the truth Janis: must be protected Jimmy: if you were gonna tell me you're leaving me for Pete Jimmy: ain't that surprised Janis: that's the one Janis: [drinking fast again] Jimmy: [gives her a look that she may or may not see] Jimmy: what? Jimmy: something's wrong Janis: nowt Janis: [one of those blatantly fake smiles not like a 'trying to convince' kind] Jimmy: truth Jimmy: I can take it Janis: it ain't about you it's just Janis: the only thing I could think to say was how I think I hate my whole family Janis: but not really that surprising either, is it Jimmy: nah Jimmy: but that don't mean it's not shit Jimmy: for you Janis: why? not like I have to Janis: could always not be a bitch, yeah Jimmy: [does the little chin tilt thing so she has to look at him properly] Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: [says it out loud too, in her ear so she has a chance of hearing it, for emphasis] Janis: [shakes her head] Janis: whatever Janis: you too sober for a truth I assume Jimmy: I always want the truth Jimmy: enough people have chatted shit to me Jimmy: 'bout enough things Janis: meant telling one Janis: but I don't bullshit Jimmy: I was telling one & you know it Janis: Meh Janis: not very interested in myself, sorry Jimmy: then ask me Jimmy: what do you wanna know? Janis: why have I gotta be specific Janis: you weren't Janis: whatever you wanna say Jimmy: not very interested in myself either Janis: alright Jimmy: & anyway you know loads of shit about me Jimmy: always going on, I am Janis: don't mind Jimmy: 👍 Janis: another drink? Janis: [already going] Jimmy: keen Janis: i'll drink yours if you can't keep up Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: keep up with you easy Janis: 👌 Jimmy: spill yours if you're gonna 👌 Janis: not 🔥 money here 'scuse you Jimmy: don't have to tell me, rich girl Jimmy: broke & jobless me Janis: 🔪 Janis: shut up Jimmy: you can't make me from over there Jimmy: [shouts 'I'm just a poor boy & nobody loves me' cos nerd] Janis: you're so embarrassing Janis: ain't with you Jimmy: 💔💔🎻🎻🎻💔 Jimmy: I'll go find someone who thinks I'm 😎 Jimmy: it's alright Janis: good 🍀 Janis: take your drink Janis: [casually shoves it at him] Jimmy: tah Jimmy: [has a wander through the club casually] Janis: [pouting in the corner] Jimmy: [comes back so he can kiss her and do the hot pouty lip thing cos loves it] Janis: [more hot dancing 'cos mad] Jimmy: [heart eyes motherfucker] Janis: [shouting] when can we go? Jimmy: whenever you want Jimmy: [downs his drink so he's technically ready to go if she says now] Janis: get you out 'fore the fights start Janis: come on Jimmy: I can take any of 'em Jimmy: don't worry 'bout that Janis: not Jimmy: not worried or not convinced I can fight my way out? Janis: not worried Janis: only so much blood I can excuse away 'fore the fam are though Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: love you too Jimmy: we're going to mine not yours, they've seen worse Janis: by all means then Janis: idiot Jimmy: so supportive you Jimmy: tah Janis: must be the love Jimmy: yeah Janis: [walks to go out but not so much ahead it's like lol bye] Jimmy: keen Jimmy: [but does catch up] Janis: when you're in you're in Janis: know you're a slag, soz Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: am I not coming home with you now Jimmy: don't mean we have to run there Jimmy: calm down Janis: 🙄 Janis: what was it you said Janis: can't play hard to get Jimmy: I ain't touching you right now Jimmy: I'd need longer arms Janis: [stops like hurry up] Jimmy: [holds onto her when he gets there like he's about to fall down dead & trying to stop himself cos casual comedian] Janis: hope you're drunker than you reckon Janis: idiot 😏 Jimmy: how many times are you gonna call me an idiot before we get back? Janis: going for gold or nah? Jimmy: always Janis: keep it up then, babe Jimmy: 👍 Janis: school's gonna be so shit Jimmy: that's why we ain't going Janis: that's why we're putting off the inevitable Janis: but yeah Jimmy: if you'd rather go, go on Janis: obviously not Janis: open your earholes Jimmy: they are, they're just 💀 'cause of that 🎶 Janis: standard club fare Janis: poor indie boy 💔 Jimmy: piss off Janis: funny 'cos the rest of your tastes are so top40 basic Jimmy: what are you chatting shit for? Janis: just tryna end your night how you dreamed, babe Jimmy: what? Janis: more drinks and a fight, you were very specific Jimmy: I was very specific that I didn't wanna fight you, I reckon Janis: 🤷 Janis: take what you can get Janis: the only one here, like Jimmy: [stops her and is just looking at her like ??] Jimmy: [asks her what's wrong out loud 'cause now they can hear each other] Janis: [says 'I dunno'] Janis: just pissed, probably Jimmy: you've been pissed all night Jimmy: so what is it Jimmy: what did I do? Janis: it ain't you Janis: just saw someone I didn't wanna in that club alright Jimmy: okay Jimmy: [puts arm around her] Janis: [breaths deep, trying to calm down] Jimmy: hit me Janis: don't be stupid Janis: I'm not hitting you Jimmy: like you said, I'm the only one here Jimmy: & it'll make you feel better Jimmy: so go on Janis: no Janis: ridiculous Janis: [starts walking again] Jimmy: [catches up] Jimmy: nah Jimmy: serious Jimmy: come on Janis: I am not gonna hit you, Jimmy Janis: shut up Janis: [pushes him but not hard] Jimmy: I get it Jimmy: you're scared 'cause I'm so hard & northern Jimmy: don't be Jimmy: not gonna smack you back Janis: then I'm not interested Janis: fair fight or nothing so bye Jimmy: We ain't fighting Jimmy: I'm just a punching bag for a sec Jimmy: til you feel alright Janis: you're not Jimmy: not if you don't take me up on it Jimmy: but that'd be stupid Jimmy: & you're not Janis: I don't fucking want to Janis: Jesus Jimmy: why? Janis: do you wanna hit me? Jimmy: I'm not having a shit night Jimmy: & you're such a girl Janis: Oh my God, go away Janis: I know what you're trying to do Jimmy: make me Janis: [ignoring] Jimmy: that's what you'd rather do Jimmy: we coulda sorted this by now if you'd just smacked me when I said Jimmy: you reckon you're gonna fuck me up? Jimmy: Cass don't & she's harder & more northern than you Janis: well I ain't her Jimmy: obviously ain't Janis: if you wanna go date your sister be my guest Janis: probably wouldn't brag about it though Jimmy: if you wanna turn into yours go on Jimmy: definitely don't brag about it though Janis: fuck off Jimmy: no Janis: I'm going home, this is stupid Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: you're coming home with me Janis: no i ain't Jimmy: yeah you are Janis: yeah love to see you try and make me Jimmy: stop Jimmy: I'm sorry, alright Jimmy: just Janis: not in the mood for this shit Janis: told you it weren't your fault so just go home okay Jimmy: I'm not going without you Janis: then drop it Jimmy: alright Jimmy: [lights a 🚬 cos calm down boy] Janis: how many do you actually smoke a day Jimmy: depends Janis: roughly then Jimmy: why does it matter Janis: making conversation Jimmy: well you sound like my sister Jimmy: who I don't wanna date, tah for that Janis: you brought her up Jimmy: not like that Janis: ain't my fault Janis: you were trying to make me hit you at the time so Jimmy: 'cause you should've at the time so Janis: don't start Jimmy: you brought it up Janis: twat Jimmy: don't you start Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: there's no point me coming to yours Jimmy: if that's what you reckon then there ain't Jimmy: go home then Janis: I will Janis: later Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you getting the bus? Jimmy: told you before, broke & jobless Jimmy: I can walk Jimmy: you're the one living in the middle of nowhere Janis: well I wanna run so Jimmy: I ain't stopping you Jimmy: stop typing & start moving Janis: are you gonna get lost or nah Janis: don't be a dick for a second and answer Jimmy: 1. I don't know til it happens do I, that's why I'm lost Jimmy: 2. I'm not the one being a dick Janis: [tries to give him change] Janis: get the bus Jimmy: keep your money, rich girl Jimmy: I ain't on the clock Janis: you're gonna get lost so just do it Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but I'm in no rush to get home anyway Jimmy: so who cares Janis: you're gonna wander the streets on your tod then Jimmy: worse ways to end a night out Janis: fuck you Jimmy: fuck me 'cause you're a massive dickhead Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: you said it Janis: whatever Jimmy: I said don't keep walking away from me literally a few hours ago & you're doing it Jimmy: again Jimmy: whatever Janis: I am not, I TOLD you I was going, that ain't the same thing Jimmy: It's bollocks is what it is Jimmy: so bollocks to it Janis: what Janis: I ain't allowed to go home Jimmy: like you said, I can't stop you Jimmy: much as I bet you'd still love me to try & make you, yeah Janis: yeah Janis: got it in one Janis: that girl Jimmy: but only a girl when you say so Janis: what do you even mean by that Jimmy: you can take the piss however you want Jimmy: chat to me however you want Janis: you constantly do it back so you've got no point Janis: and if you don't like it you know what to do Jimmy: 👌 Janis: mature Jimmy: you ignored me earlier so you've got no leg to stand on Janis: 'cos I had to Jimmy: well I had to agree just then Jimmy: not really giving me much else choice, are you Janis: not my fault you're wrong Jimmy: not my fault you saw someone you didn't wanna Janis: literally said that, didn't I Jimmy: It don't matter what you say if you're still being a dickhead to me Janis: that's why I'm trying to leave Janis: no point me being at yours if I'm in a mood, that's what I said Jimmy: then just fucking go Jimmy: I told you earlier, go if you're going Janis: don't try and tell me what to do either way Janis: I was trying to fucking help you Jimmy: likewise Jimmy: with both them things Janis: fine Jimmy: [lights a new 🚬 'cause it be like that] Janis: [is a distance but clearly not that far] Janis: can I have one Jimmy: do you want me to throw it 'cause in that case no Janis: I know about your lack of sporting prowess but I ain't walking over if you ain't gonna give me one Jimmy: piss off I could Jimmy: I just don't hate you enough to set you alight Janis: your problem not mine Janis: [comes over] Jimmy: [gives her one & the lighter cos he ain't doing it 💔] Janis: tah Janis: [hands it back but don't move] Jimmy: [pockets it & likewise cos he ain't moved literally this whole time] Janis: [sighs drmatically] Jimmy: say it Janis: can't, 'fraid Janis: maybe a few insults back but not in good conscience now Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: exactly Jimmy: [starts walking away finally 'cause thinks he's gotta] Janis: if I say it will you get on the bus? Jimmy: are you gonna say you're in love with the bus driver? Jimmy: 'cause sorta giving yourself away there Janis: be serious for one second, oh my GOD Jimmy: you should be happy I wanna walk Jimmy: athlete you are Jimmy: can hit the gym together and be really #goals Janis: 😑 Janis: you are so annoying Janis: I'm trying to apologize here this is why Janis: you never just shut up and listen Janis: or answer questions Jimmy: what was it you said, your problem, not mine Jimmy: 1. I'm listening all the time Jimmy: 2. I've told you, ask me Janis: I repeat myself then Janis: if I say it will you get on the bus? Jimmy: I don't wanna get the bus Jimmy: why does it matter so much Janis: because I'd rather you didn't get lost and die if it's all the same to you Janis: don'tneed that on my conscience Jimmy: I don't need it to happen to me Jimmy: so gimme some credit just once Janis: I'm not juding Janis: excuse me for giving a shit Jimmy: if you give so much of a shit come with me Janis: fine Jimmy: [is just walking casually] Janis: why don't you answer questions Jimmy: I do Jimmy: what are you on about? Janis: only if I ask again Jimmy: I answer questions Jimmy: why are you making me sound like I'm really weird? Janis: why do you make me have to pry like I'm the nosiest bitch in the world Jimmy: ? Jimmy: that's not Jimmy: I don't Janis: never mind then Jimmy: nah you obviously mind Janis: not exactly, I just wanted to know why Jimmy: I don't know what you mean Jimmy: can't help you with that Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [smoking in silence] Jimmy: I got an interview next week Janis: fast Janis: where? Jimmy: some other ☕ place Jimmy: they all basically have the same names Janis: True that Janis: could use some creativity so 🤞 Jimmy: this one could Jimmy: [shows her generic coffee shop on his phone] Jimmy: but I'll poach Pete the CG's shining star Janis: eye candy is all that matters anyway Jimmy: I thought you didn't wanna hit me Jimmy: really backhanded that compliment Janis: I called you creative before that but nah Janis: ignore that Jimmy: don't listen do I so Janis: apparently not Jimmy: definitely not according to you Jimmy: never is what you said Janis: now he listens Jimmy: 'cause like I said, I always do Jimmy: you on the other hand have told me I'm a good listener before, so which is it? 🤔 Janis: [stops him walking and goes to kiss him] Jimmy: you could have just told me to shut up Jimmy: even if I never do Janis: I didn't want you to Janis: I wanted to kiss you Janis: that alright? Jimmy: [kisses her really intensely 'cause yes & it's all he ever wants to do lbr] Janis: Good Jimmy: [takes her hand for hand holding] Janis: how much do you hate me then? Jimmy: so much Jimmy: don't ever stop thinking about how much I hate you Janis: good to know Janis: probably get a hobby though Jimmy: [actually lols but then uses their linked hands to pull her into another longer kiss] Jimmy: I've got one Janis: not bad Janis: I approve Jimmy: but do you really approve of my 🎨 Janis: 'course I do Jimmy: good Jimmy: what about the pink shirt? Jimmy: art in itself I know so sort of a trick question Janis: [lols] Jimmy: [is heart eyes] Jimmy: fuck Jimmy: you're Janis: I'm sorry Janis: don't let me spoil it Jimmy: you didn't let me earlier Jimmy: we're even Janis: I Janis: works for me Jimmy: maybe I'm drunker than I reckon or stupider than you reckon but do you wanna Jimmy: like piss off with me for a bit before we have to go to school Jimmy: I don't know where or how I just Janis: yeah Janis: I wanna Jimmy: we're probably gonna have to take the dog with us Jimmy: but I know you ain't 💔 Janis: yeah, devastated Janis: I jut wanna be with you, not here Jimmy: I'll call in the babysitting Gracie owes me Jimmy: much as I wanna be with you I don't want both my brother & sister to hate me at the same time Janis: that's fair Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: say that again Jimmy: I'm really listening Janis: we can make it happen Jimmy: everything that's made it weird between us lately is other people Jimmy: Mia & your sister & all that bollocks Jimmy: & my fucking dad obviously Janis: other people are cunts Janis: coulda told you that Janis: probably did Jimmy: [lols cos she actually has I remember] Jimmy: you have Jimmy: we can't let them ruin it though, yeah Janis: I'm very wise, you should listen to me Janis: fuck that Janis: not gonna let us ruin it, never mind them, they don't even get a look in Jimmy: I really really really fucking like you Janis: that's a lot of reallys Janis: but I feel it too Jimmy: just remember it, alright Jimmy: you're pissed enough to forget loads of tonight & I don't mind if you do most of it but Janis: I love you I remember Jimmy: [make out because I can't] Janis: [hope you're near home lads] Jimmy: Janis Janis: Yep? Jimmy: how drunk are you really? Janis: Hmm Janis: probably the drunkest I've been but one time Janis: no, maybe two Janis: top three 🥉 Jimmy: okay Janis: know why you're asking Janis: but I mean it Janis: and you do too Jimmy: [just gonna put another make out here cos where's the lie but also help me jesus] Janis: know you said you'd fuck me before we got to yours, just' sayin' Jimmy: [lols but is also just looking at her like hell yeah] Jimmy: you know loads for a pisshead, you Jimmy: you ain't forgot the pub already have you? Janis: you said multiple, actually, I'm asking for one here Janis: [puppy dog eyes 'please'] Jimmy: [goes for it 'cause lbr doesn't need any convincing] Janis: fuck Janis: yes Jimmy: I'm so glad you asked Jimmy: I've been wanting to do this for ages Janis: the pub wasn't that long ago Jimmy: I know but Janis: me too Janis: I think about it all the time Jimmy: me too Janis: along with how much you hate me yeah Jimmy: yeah Janis: fine by me Janis: long as you're thinking 'bout me Jimmy: you're basically all I think about now Janis: same Janis: I like it Janis: you're better than anything else I was thinking 'bout before Jimmy: you're better than anything I've ever thought about Jimmy: I reckon Janis: Jimmy Jimmy: Janis Janis: you reckon you're not good with words but Janis: you really are, fuck Jimmy: you ain't my muse for nowt Janis: I don't even care if you're taking the piss just don't stop Jimmy: I'm not Janis: you're so special you know that Janis: I don't like anyone Jimmy: you Jimmy: I ain't good with people I'm paid to be Jimmy: so Janis: Baby Jimmy: ? Jimmy: tell me Janis: You make me happy, you know Jimmy: I gotta Jimmy: nobody else here Jimmy: you need me & I need you that's all there is Janis: I need you so bad Jimmy: I can feel it Janis: do I feel good Jimmy: 🥇 Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: [kisses her 'cause what words even] Janis: probably don't believe I was a virgin the way I act with you Jimmy: I believe you Janis: you're just Janis: different Jimmy: I've told you, I trust you Jimmy: whatever you say to me Janis: then you believe me Janis: that I love you Jimmy: I do Janis: Good Janis: it's the truth Jimmy: I know Jimmy: but the truth too is, I'm so scared of you Jimmy: I don't know how I can trust you & also that but Janis: Why? Jimmy: You're just Jimmy: so important Jimmy: & everyone else who matters is Jimmy: they just Janis: don't like me? Jimmy: don't like me, maybe Jimmy: or needs shit from me that never gonna be Jimmy: I don't know Janis: I really get it Jimmy: I said I wasn't gonna do this again Jimmy: ages ago Jimmy: but I like you too much Jimmy: I have to Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I didn't mean for it to happen Jimmy: me either Jimmy: but don't be sorry Janis: I was only ever joking about breaking your heart Janis: and I don't wanna scare you Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm sorry Jimmy: I don't wanna be scared Jimmy: I don't Jimmy: I just want Janis: It's okay Janis: I am too but it's okay Jimmy: [kisses because it's okay kids shh you can be in love] Janis: I won't say it again Janis: if you don't want Jimmy: I want you to say it Jimmy: whenever you feel it Jimmy: I hate not talking about things, not being allowed to Jimmy: like they just didn't happen Jimmy: but they did Janis: sometimes it's easier Jimmy: sometimes its not Jimmy: you should have the choice Jimmy: so I'm giving you yours Janis: [more kissing 'cos what can she] Jimmy: tomorrow I'm choosing to fuck you with no clothes in the way Janis: 😏 Janis: you're doing great, sweetie Jimmy: that sounded really fake Jimmy: 💔 Janis: does how wet I am for you right now feel fake Jimmy: you've never been that good at pretending Janis: don't insult me Janis: whilst Janis: very rude Jimmy: at least I didn't call you a horny mute Jimmy: can't anymore Janis: want it Janis: suits you Jimmy: you reckon? Janis: Maybe Janis: [does best to make him make noise] Jimmy: [it works] Janis: You're so fucking hot, Jimmy Jimmy: you baby Jimmy: & you can call me what you want if you do that again Jimmy: I don't care Janis: you're killing me Janis: so [does unfy thing 1] fucking [does unfy thing 2] hot [does unfy thing 3 Jimmy: [is reacting exactly as she knew he would/loving life loudly] Jimmy: it's your fault Jimmy: you reminded me I said multiple times Jimmy: so now I just want you to cum Jimmy: as many as possible Janis: you know exactly how to make that happen, baby Janis: only you Jimmy: [has to kiss her 'cause he will declare his undying love & I can't] Janis: even kissing you is fucking Janis: obscence, frankly Jimmy: [gives her more] Janis: how are you so Janis: I'm so glad you're mine Janis: I don't want anyone else to have this, have you Jimmy: I only want you Jimmy: there isn't anyone else Jimmy: [is literally trying to pull her closer even though they can't get any closer goddamn] Janis: Shit shit, Jimmy harder please I need to feel every part of you in every part of me I am so close Jimmy: [does as he's told & is also just going in on her neck 'cause wants to kiss her really hard too but also wants to hear her so] Janis: I'm gonna be loud here whilst we can Janis: don't care if anyone hears Jimmy: I don't even know where we are Jimmy: it don't matter Jimmy: just Janis: I would seriously fuck you anywhere Janis: everywhere Jimmy: I'll make school worth going to, a challenge & a promise Jimmy: I swear Janis: 😩 Janis: why is that so Jimmy: you have the skirt, yeah Jimmy: I remember seeing you in it before Janis: really Jimmy: It's not like your sister's or anything weird is it Jimmy: 'cause you looked really good Janis: no, it's mine Jimmy: thank god Jimmy: even if he don't exist Janis: 'bout as non-existent as that skirt Janis: told Miss it's not my fault I'm tall Jimmy: tah for the reminders Jimmy: that's really Janis: you're the one who wants me to wear it so Janis: 🤤 Jimmy: maybe I am ready for school to start Janis: me too but take me away first Jimmy: let's just go now Jimmy: keep walking Jimmy: not right now though Janis: gonna say Janis: hold on Jimmy: but will you Jimmy: just come with me Janis: of course I will Jimmy: [kisses her cos even though they can't go right now cos Twix etc it's cute] Janis: you're all I want Janis: and need Jimmy: you've got all of me Jimmy: I know you can feel it Janis: damn daddy Janis: actually the hottest thing you've ever said Jimmy: [does some of the hottest things he can do too just because] Janis: I've Janis: if you keep making me cum harder than I've ever before Janis: I assume I'll actually die Jimmy: I don't want to accept that challenge Jimmy: stay with me Janis: you're so Janis: I love you Jimmy: [kisses because I nearly wrote I love you too & none of me is ready] Janis: [post-sex snuggles] Jimmy: so where are we? Janis: [looks around] Janis: probably not quite far enough from town or your gaff for 'normal' people to reckon that was acceptable but what do they know Jimmy: are there still buses going? Jimmy: I'm tired Janis: poor baby Janis: you work so hard Janis: can catch the last bus just about though Jimmy: I know you are too Jimmy: we're a team Janis: Yeah Janis: don't let me fal asleep though or the bus drivers are all gonna hate me Jimmy: I won't Jimmy: you gotta make sure we don't miss our stop anyway Jimmy: redeem yourself Janis: exactly Jimmy: come on then, baby Jimmy: let's do this Janis: help me up Janis: i'm weak and it's your fault Jimmy: [picks her up, boy be careful] Janis: your girlfirned was small wasn't she Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: but who isn't compared to you Jimmy: [looking her up and down appreciatively] Janis: I hope you know if you said that to any other girl they'd literally commit Jimmy: but you ain't Jimmy: & if you want a piggyback to the bus I can give you that, for real Janis: [giggles 'cos adorable and hops on] Jimmy: [piggyback as promised cos cute nerds] Janis: [on bus] Jimmy: [snuggling & he's playing with her hair cos fave thing] Janis: stay Jimmy: fucked as my home life is we can't live on this bus Janis: please Jimmy: [snuggles into her more] Jimmy: what do you need Janis: [pokes him in the chest like you, boy] Jimmy: [does a small lol and gives her some soft kisses cos he's right here] Janis: [taps where she wants kisses next] Jimmy: [gives them and some extra cos he just wants to] Janis: [cuddles into his chest] Janis: you smell good Jimmy: I smell like you Janis: and sex Janis: it's a good smell Jimmy: the dog loves me now Jimmy: never mind your influence #yourscent Janis: 😂 Janis: she might love me a little too much Jimmy: I've been saying it since day one Jimmy: listen up, girl Janis: how many advances has one girl gotta fend off 🙄 honestly Jimmy: if she tries to come between us she ain't coming away with us Jimmy: 💔💔 gutted for you both but Janis: put your foot down, babe Jimmy: I am Jimmy: I ain't having it Janis: you're such a cute nerd Jimmy: you're so tired & pissed you can't type Jimmy: cos you meant I'm so impressive & intimidating to snide 🐶 Janis: hmm, okay Janis: what else did I mean Janis: interpret Jimmy: you can't wait to spend all day in bed with me tomorrow once my dad's fucked off to work Jimmy: & you wanna watch my fave film again & eat my fave tea 'cause you love me that much Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Janis: the cutest Janis: I agree Janis: with myself Jimmy: nah but seriously we gotta plan how we're getting out of here Jimmy: when & where Jimmy: I reckon we could go tomorrow night if we get our shit together Jimmy: & you ain't too hungover to do your bit Janis: 'scuse you Janis: would never thwart us like that Jimmy: not your fault Jimmy: I challenged you Janis: you gonna still be nice to me then, even if I'm dying and useless? Jimmy: maybe Jimmy: if you look pretty while you're doing it, or nowt as the case could be Janis: 😒 oh I'll do my best to make death look seductive Jimmy: 🎨 Jimmy: are your parents gonna give you shit for going? Janis: like to see 'em try Janis: but no Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what about your dad Jimmy: that's a given Jimmy: probably fuck up the other side of my face Jimmy: again 🎨 like Janis: 😣 Janis: maybe I shoulda smacked you to beat him to it, like Janis: [snuggles more instinctively] Jimmy: I did tell you, girl Janis: you know you say a lot of things, babe Jimmy: you telling me to shut up? bit rude Janis: No, I like it Janis: you're Jimmy: [soft kisses cos soft mood] Janis: too nice Jimmy: nah Jimmy: decent amount Janis: if you do say so yourself 😏 Jimmy: #selflove babe Janis: now who sounds like my sister Janis: I'll leave, like Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: but don't Janis: fine, fine Janis: I'll watch you selflove Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: there's only so many times on buses before I get a rep Janis: 😂 Janis: control yourself then Jimmy: but you're so much better at it Jimmy: ain't my fault Janis: if that's your excuse you'll never do nothing Janis: 🥇 me Jimmy: my excuse for why I'm doing nowt, exactly Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you're welcome then Jimmy: 💕 Janis: where are we gonna go Jimmy: I don't know Jimmy: as long as you're coming, I don't care too much Janis: same Janis: [look of love bitch] Jimmy: [more kisses] Janis: I'm so Janis: 😴 Jimmy: get your head down for a bit Jimmy: I'll wake you up Janis: I'm so tough though Jimmy: that's why I need you to save your energy though Jimmy: protect me from 🐶s & the big wide world Jimmy: 💪 Janis: 💕 Janis: okay baby Janis: [is snoozy] Jimmy: [is playing with her hair & being a soft boy until he has to wake her up which he'd do out loud in a cute way] Janis: [is all cute and disorientated like wut] Janis: hey Jimmy: [is the most heart eyes ever & kisses her so soft cos the CUTEST sleepy girl he's ever seen good day] Jimmy: come on Janis: 👍 Janis: forgot where I was then Jimmy: hold onto that feeling when we get in Jimmy: pretend we've already left Janis: [kisses him as they getting off the bus like 'scuse you bus driver  but less soft 'cos obviously the mood for going away] Janis: easy Janis: 💪 Jimmy: [look of love bitch & handholding as they walk to his] Janis: I hope you can stay and Bobby stays asleep Janis: does that make me a bitch Jimmy: if it does we're both bitches Janis: #bossbitchesamiriteladiez Jimmy: [lols] Jimmy: if you've trained that dog at all he shouldn't wake up it's well late now Janis: I'll bribe her Janis: #protrainertip Jimmy: so you're trying to train me too, then Jimmy: how's that going? Janis: you know, have your moments but on the whole Janis: say I'd got you where I want you, like Jimmy: 🤔 Jimmy: [picks her up again cos he's a massive nerd] Jimmy: yeah, I'd say the same about you Janis: [giggles 'cos loves it] Janis: I'm alright with it too Jimmy: good Jimmy: [is just carrying her around like an idiot, boy stop you aren't Buster & she ain't Rio you can't] Janis: drop me and you're dead Jimmy: you're probably the 💀 one Jimmy: [looks down dramatically] Jimmy: it's a long way down, babe Janis: such a giant Janis: 😉 Jimmy: 😳 Janis: awh baby Janis: don't, you're just right, remember? Jimmy: I'll take the reminder Janis: [kissing on his neck like bitch be careful you gonna get dropped] Jimmy: shit Jimmy: I get it, you want us to die together Janis: not exactly what I had in mind Jimmy: 'course it is Jimmy: peak romance Jimmy: never switch off, you Jimmy: that romantic Janis: 😂 Janis: okay, said you weren't down for that challenge but you can kill me Jimmy: [gives a very sexy smooch cos okay] Janis: [gets down or this'll end badly lmao] Janis: I like you a lot you know Jimmy: I know but Jimmy: keep letting me know Janis: I will Janis: but quietly Janis: 😇 Jimmy: I Jimmy: you're just so Janis: tell me 'bout it sometime, okay Jimmy: but loudly, yeah Janis: mhmm Janis: showing me is fine for now Jimmy: [lil handsy make out cos gotta show her something] Janis: 😍😍😍 Janis: we need to go inside Jimmy: [conflicted cos doesn't ever wanna but also does wanna so takes her hand] Jimmy: alright Janis: [squeezes his hand 'cos knows and feels it] Jimmy: [go in & to his room, twix hears them like a ro & comes outta Cass' room & with but can only hear her dancing feet its okay] Janis: [gives her plenty of fuss and loves] Jimmy: [doesn't cos has to pretend he's a hater instead plugs both their phones in cos must be fucking flagging by now I don't care if it's the future] Janis: [is reclining and pats the bed next to her and Twix immediately goes to that spot like lmao too slow] Jimmy: [is literally like 😒 but IRL] Janis: [lols 'cos such a cute grump and has to skillfully move Twix like calm down girl] Jimmy: [still grumpy faced but gets next to her] Janis: [Big spoons him] Jimmy: [let's it happen & Twix lie with him so he's like the middle of a sandwich lol] Janis: [casual happy fam bye, scratching his back and giving him the neck/shoulder massages always] Jimmy: [is sleepy cos that's so relaxing bye] Janis: [let 'em snooze] Jimmy: [okay but hear me out FINALLY DROPS THE L WORD out loud when he's basically asleep cos]