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Episode 5 Transcript: Neil Gaiman, You Have Such a Limited View of Gender

[Garageband Good Omens theme song plays]

C: Hello! My name is Crystal.

G: And my name is Grey.

C: And this is Rubbish and Probably a Podcast, a Good Omens commentary podcast where I, someone who has seen this show too many times…

G: And I, someone who only knows this show through Crystal, discuss every single episode of Good Omens.

C: For today’s episode, we are discussing Season 1, Episode 5: “The Doomsday Option.”

G: Yep. This episode. Lots, lots, lots of buildup. I think it was last episode when I said, "Oh, it's curious that the Apocalypse is going to happen and I bet it's going to be short as hell, and yet we have two episodes left." And now I'm like, "Yeah, we have two episodes left." 'Cause this episode is so- Well, I would say it's nothing. A lot of things happen. But a lot of things also don't happen.

C: I would call it so nothing. I think this is all necessary for the sake of like, building suspense, but there's nothing to discuss for most of it.

G: Yeah. But the things that we do want to discuss, I feel like we will discuss.

C: Yeah, yeah. So like, first ten minutes of the episode, discuss. Rest? I don't know. [G laughs] People are driving places.

G: Who GAF?

C: Who GAF? Also, I'd say that every part of it that's not about building up suspense is about making jokes that are unfunny, partly because I've already seen the jokes, and partly because I just think it's like, millennial humor at the best for most of the show. So yeah.

G: You know what's fascinating, the first time I watched this, I was so entranced, and like, my heart was beating so fast, and I don't know. I was just really into it. And then the second time I watched it, which is this morning, like, I felt a lot for the scenes that, you know, one would feel a lot about. But the rest, I was like, "Who even give a shit?" Like, I don't want to see Shadwell in any way, shape, or form. [C laughs] Why is he here?

C: For fucking real. During my notes rewatch of this, I definitely felt the urge to play 2048 during it [G laughs] in a way that I haven't for any of the Gomens rewatch so far You wanna hit us with the synopsis?

G: Of course, which is a synopsis that we did not do [laughs] in Episode 4. For episode 5, it's "Adam and Them, Crowley, Aziraphale, Shadwell, Tracy, Newton, Anathema, and the Four Horsemen all converge on Tadfield to play their parts in Armageddon."

C: And I suppose they do.

C: Bit misleading, I feel. I mean they do, but like- Yeah, I suppose so.

C: [laughing] Did you want the summary to just be, "First, 'You're My Best Friend' by Queen plays. [G laughs] Then, 'Somebody to Love' plays," and then the rest of the synopsis?

G: For real! Have we considered that he took the book, and it's a souvenir? Have we considered that?!

C: Yeah. We've considered it. It's considered.

G: And we have considered it. Well, we shall start the episode. But before we actually do start the episode, I wanna tell you guys about [laughing] my experience of watching this episode the first time. So me and Crystal are still on the call, and I was like, "You know, Crystal, I understand that every time after we record, we talk about their lives and what's been going on with our weeks, [C laughing] and how, you know, everything is going on."

C: "But this time, I don't GAF."

G: "I do not give a shit about what you watched and what you learned, and blah blah blah! I want to watch Season 1, Episode 5 of Good Omens." So I did while Crystal was still on the call, and literally, it took me, I feel like, ten minutes to even press play because every time I play and I hear the opening notes of "You're My Best Friend," I just pause and start screaming so loud and so raw [C laughing] and like, going like, "I can't do it! I can't do it! I can't do it!"

C: There was a lot of that.

G: And then I'll hype myself up eventually and be like- I'll be like, "No, I cant do it. Let's press play," and then I press play, and I go, "I can't do it!" So yeah, that was the state of mind I was in the first time I watched it. My god.

C: Yeah. The state of your head. He was your best friend.

G: He was my best friend, and, you know what? They were best friends.

C: And they still are, so, win. We open on- [laughing] Oh, god! Now it's affecting meee! [screams]

G: I can't do it!

C: Anyway. [screams] Okay. Okay. So it's an overhead shot of the Bentley driving through London to Soho, and like, "You're My Best Friend" by Queen is playing, right? But specifically, it opens on the- [screams] Okay. It opens on the lyrics- Well, the verse that goes like, "Ooh, you make me live / Whenever this is cruel to me / [both] I need you to help me forgive." Hello? Hello??

G: Is anyone else-? You know, they really do the budget with the Queen music this episode.

C: Oh, yeah, no, there's like, 4? 5? 5 of them?

G: I think there's- Wait, it's this one, "Somebody to Love-"

C: "Another One Bites the Dust-"

G: "I Love My Car" or "I'm in Love With My Car."

C: Oh, yeah, no, you're right. "I'm in Love With My Car," "Another One Bites the Dust-"

G: Bohemian!

C: "Bohemian Rhapsody," and "We Will Rock You." So yeah, 6.

G: Wait, when's the "We Will Rock You"? Oh, when he was asking for directions. Was it?

C: Yeah. From RP Tyler.

G: Yeah. My god, I love the part with the "Another One Bites the Dust" so much. I love it so much. So important to me. Well, anyway, so that happens.

C: Anyway! So that's playing. Right.

G: Also, I love the way that they do the music here because it is diagetic. I mean, it's supposed to be playing in the car, right? 'Cause he gets out of the car, it stops. And then goes into the shop, it starts again but as a record playing. And it's like, what? Did Crowley just go like, "You know what? [C laughing] You know what's the perfect soundtrack for this moment? 'You Are My Best Friend,' by Queen." And it's like, okay. Sure. Sure, buddy.

C: Yeah. Goddd. [both laughing] Anyway!

G: We need to get through this scene.

C: We've talked about forgiveness being a thing that Aziraphale says in the last two episodes. So yeah. Great choice of the verse to have on. And like, Aziraphale is gone, but Crowley doesn't know yet, but I do think that Crowley- Does Crowley know- Is there a way that Crowley can sense his presence? 'Cause, okay, Crowley's like, definitely got a very grim set to their mouth right now, and I think part of that is just Hastur tipping him off that Hell is aware that he and Aziraphale are allied, but, like, when he goes to the shop, he does not bother looking around very much before he declares that he can't find Aziraphale. So like, is there like, a sense of like, fellow celestial or occult being in the area that they have or? Eh. Whatever. Who knows?

G: Damn. I mean, if that's true, I'm sure they utilize that to hell and back in fanfiction. Good for everyone.

C: Oh, yeah. Yeah. [G laughs]

G: Also because when, you know, Crowley gets to the shop, there's like, "[gasps] Oh my god, it's burning!" you know. There's none of us. It's like, "Well, I'm gonna get out of the car. Gonna get in."

C: That's true. The script describes her expression as- It says, "Crowley is driving towards us, and he's angry, and he's scared, but he's Crowley, so he's trying as hard as he can to play it cool." So maybe it is a "Oh my god, it's burning!" but it's Crowley, so he's trying as hard as he can to play it cool.

G: Oh my god.

C: Yeah. While he's there, he's calling Aziraphale, and there's only three buttons that are pressed, so I'm assuming it's like, recent calls -> Aziraphale -> and then the call button. So that's nice.

G: We are so normal. [laughing]

C: It's- [laughing] They put the sounds of the buttons of the phone being pressed.

G: I can't believe you just said, "Crowley just clicked the phone three times, so that means recent calls." I support that.

C: It could also- Okay, it's that, or it's speed dial, right? In which case the buttons are like, phone app -> the one number that gets to Aziraphale -> and then call, which I also like.

G: Do you think they're each others emergency contact? Is that even a thing? Do you think that's a thing for them? Do they have emergency contacts?

C: If they are in a situation that they consider an emergency, I think having the other one there is the worst thing that could possibly happen-

G: That's true.

C: - given the state of the emergency or whatever it would be, so no, I think they just have each other on speed dial. Or, I mean, Aziraphale wouldn't because he doesn't own a cell phone, so it's just Crowley. What do you think his contact picture for Aziraphale is?

G: Crowley?

C: Yeah.

G: Well, we see it. It's like, a fire thing. That's why I asked you when I was watching, and you were like, "I have no idea what you're talking about."

C: Wait, it's fire? The photo for Aziraphale is just fire? What does that mean?

G: I'm going to send you a screencap of the scene.

C: Are you sure that's not just like, a general background?

G: No, it's not. Because it says "Aziraphale." Here, I'll send it to you. This is it.

C: Wait, that's not- When you call someone, their profile picture isn't the entire background of your call, is it? [both] I don't have an iPhone. Is that how it works?

G: I don't have an iPhone either.

C: I think that's just like, a general background. I don't think that that is the profile.

G: No, I think it is.

C: Really? Wait, whenever you call someone on your iPhone, their profile picture is just like, a giant your entire screen thing that you just have to look at that's obscured by the mute and keypad and such buttons? [G laughing]

G: I think it may be!

C: That sounds horrible! How is anyone supposed to cheat on their wife under these circumstances?

G: Maybe it's like, a magic contact photo that's like- Maybe that's why Crowley isn't surprised when they show up, and the thing is on fire because it's like, the contact phone is on fire, and maybe it like, changes to according to Aziraphale's or the bookshop's status.

C: Maybe?

G: Is that so corny?

C: I don't think that that's his profile picture for Aziraphale. Why would it be? It could- maybe it's default? Hi. Someone with an iPhone, please let us know- When you call someone, when the phone app is open, is the background of the call the contact photo you have of them? Let us know.

Anyway. So he pulls up, right? And while he's driving, we get the rest of the verse, like, "Ooh, you make me live now, honey / Ooh, you make me live," and then there's dialogue next, so it cuts out the "You're the first one / When things turn out bad" 'verse, which could mean nothing, [G laughs] but also means everything to me. And then the dialogue ends, and it cuts back in on, "You know I'll never be lonely / You're my only one / and I love the things," and then it cuts out again, which could also mean nothing, [G laughs] but also mean everything to me. So yeah, she gets out of the car. The firefighter's like, "Do you own this place?" And she goes, "Do I look like I run a bookshop?" and then just rushes inside. [overlapping] Snaps. Door opens, goes back in, snaps the door closed, which seems like a terrible idea for if there's like, a fire, but, like, I guess they just wanted privacy.

G: Yes. Not only is it a terrible idea, but they actually did this. Like, they- I watched the-

C: Yeah, they forced David Tennant to go inside a burning building and then-

G: [overlapping] - closed the door on him.

C: And then get hit with a hose! To the ground! [both laughing] Wearing his sunglasses and his contacts so he can't see a single thing inside a smoky building that's for real burning to the ground!

G: I love how Neil Gaiman was like, "He needs to be inside, and he needs to be burning, and if David Tennant dies, then so be it." Like, I respect that.

C: And it's not even like, "This is the last scene that we'll ever film, so it's okay 9f he dies right now," [G laughs] 'cause the last scene they ever filmed was 1941. Did you know that?

G: Oh, no, I did not know that.

C: Fun fact.

G: Why is that making me feel an emotion? [laughs]

C: 'Cause it's an important scene and it's like, the fact that the culmination of all of Aziraphale's love happens, like, I guess, in Michael's Sheen's face [both laugh] at the end of the rest of it feels like something, even though he's a professional actor so it doesn't actually matter. But anyway, yeah, no, he fully could have killed, like, darling of the Internet, of the stage and screen David Tennant. And, well. I just don't get why- I mean, I know why they burned the entire bookshop down. It's because they thought they weren't gonna make Season 2, and it like, would have been hard to CGI it to look nice, 'cause the CGI in Good Omens looks like shit all the time. But like, wow! Anyway, yep. David Tennant could have died. Didn't. Thanks, man.

Crowley goes inside, and, I mean, he starts screaming and shouting.

G: "Aziraphale!" C: And I can't do it justice. Grey, you wanna try the voice?

G: [laughs] No, I do not. [C laughs]

G: Yells Aziraphale's name a lot. "Where the Heaven are you, you idiot?" And then, "For God- for Satan- for somebody's sake, where are you?" And then, yeah, it's fire all around. Sort of just standing in the middle of the first room of the bookstore, like, looking around frantically and shouting to the sky, and like, not a lot of actual searching due to all the fire and how David Tennant is not immune to flame. [G laughs] And then there's like, a fire hose, and it hits Crowley like, directly in the chest. And she falls to the ground, and there's like, this music that plays that like, goes like, "ah" and like, also "ooh." You know the kind of music that goes "ah" and also "ooh." It's like, think Our Flag Means Death, like, Episode 3 ending, except like, I guess, sadder due to how it's not about meeting the love of your life. The sunglasses get knocked off, and we see their eyes. And it's like, usually, Crowley always has the yellow eyes. But sometimes it's just like a human-sized iris, and then it's like, yellow, and like, the pupils are sort of normal. And then, like, in other moments, it's like, just the entire eye is yellow, and the pupils are like, slitted, and that is the type of eyes that she has right now. He goes, [both] "You've gone." in the most defeated and in pain voice. And then, he goes, "Somebody killed my best friend." Hello?? Is anyone here? Can anyone hear me?! [G laughs] God- I- And this is the first time that he says it, and I think it might be the first time he, like, ever says it, regardless of whether or not we see it.

G: It well may be.

C: It well may be.

G: 'Cause I feel like Crowley would never tell Aziraphale, "You're my best friend".

C: Oh, no.

G: Not directly, of course. And like, Crowley, doesn't talk to anyone about Aziraphale.

C: Yeah, like, he can't. I mean, it's possible that there's like, some people that he talks to about it like, vaguely. I don't know. I feel like it would feel like too much to say out loud, so he wouldn't.

G: She's so mad, so mad, calling whoever is listening "bastards."

C: Yeah, yelling, "Bastards! All of you!" Which, I love that "bastards" is the swear word that Aziraphale wouldn't say last episode, and now Crowley is saying it. Like, yeah, what if they were familiar like my mirror years ago? And okay, what do you think Crowley means by killed? Obviously, discorporated would not have the same effect, but like, does he think that Aziraphale’s fully demon/holy water gone?

G: I think so. Gone. Dead. Yeah.

C: Great.

G: I mean, 'cause- Do we know? Can you just fucking tell me? Like, do we know any way that angels can be killed?

C: Hellfire.

G: Can you repeat that?

C: Hellfire.

G: Hellfire?

C: Yeah.

G: Well, of course he thinks that he's dead! It's on fire!

C: Well, wouldn't he be able to sense the difference between Hellfire and regular fire?

G: I don't know! What's the difference between holy water and non-holy water to someone who's not gonna be killed by it?

C: Fair. Well. Yeah. No wonder. Ahhh.

G: Oh my god! This is suddenly so much more painful! Sorry. [both laugh] There is like- I don't think there is any like, rationally sound way to think that Aziraphale isn't dead in this scene for Crowley.

C: Yeah.

G: We just heard Hastur say, "You and your best friend are in trouble." And then she gets here, and it's on fire, and apparently, Hellfire can kill angels.

C: Yup. Mm-hm. It sure can. [G laughs] Great. Great. I love- I love scenes in media.

G: [laughing] Is anybody else so miserable? [both laughing] We need to get past this scene and some point.

C: Yeah, um, okay, so, I mean, well, Grey, you were incredibly devastated when you heard about this scene last week. Did it live up to expectations?

G: I think so. I think it did.

C: Okay. I could have done with a bit more wailing, but I understand that it's not actually about them.

G: I mean, there were two songs that I knew was going to come up. So it's this one, and then I knew that this was the context. And I knew that "Somebody to Love" was gonna play at some point in the series, but not when, so I didn't know it was this episode. When it did play, I was like, "It's so corny, you guys. It's so corny." [laughing]

C: It is. It's so corny.

G: But the thing is like, it's so corny, and if it was any other show, any other anything, I would be like, "God. That is so corny." But like, in that moment, I was so- They have gotten me so bad. Just like what you said when I told you that I love "We Go Together" by Tennant and Tate in the Much Ado About Nothing bonus clip or bonus song. [C laughs] You were like, "Only a person who have been gotten so bad will say that," and I feel like only a person who have been gotten so bad will say that the "Somebody to Love" music cue is good. And you know what? They fucking got me.

C: Yeah. They sure did. So we end on just like, a shot of Crowley's, like, devastated face, while, like, she's still flat on her ass in the middle of a burning bookshop. And it sort of fades into Adam being creepy.

G: Noo, you didn't even mention the fucking book of prophecies!

C: Oh, yeah! I guess that matters something. Yeah. Right. He notices that the Agnes- The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter is like, on the floor, like, miraculously unburnt, and picks it up.

G: Yeah. Souvenir! The way- Can I just say, the way they say it later, right? "I took it. Souvenir!" And it's like, "This is the one thing that's left," and, I don't know, it's such a fucking- I don't know what the word is. Like, saccharine thing to do? Like, maudlin? What's the other word? It comes from such a place of like, sentimentality, that's it. Like, the world is going to end in maybe a day, maybe a couple of hours even, and the bookshop is burned down, Aziraphale is gone for good. "I'll just take this one book that's been that hasn't been burnt yet, and it will be the only memory I have this place of this angel." And it's like, "Okay. Slay!"

C: I didn't bother noting- when Crowley takes it out, where does he take it out from?

G: On the floor. It's on the floor.

C: He has to reach down to the entire ground to get it?

G: They're seated on the floor. They're on the floor because of the hose.

C: Oh, no, no, no, no! I meant when- in the pub.

G: Ah, in the pub. It was like, right beside him, I think.

C: Wait, [laughing] I actually want to check.

G: Okay. Well, let's watch it. I'm not complaining. [both laughing] Live reaction.

C: It seems to be resting either on the seat beside her or like, on her thigh, basically, as she's sitting.

G: No, it's on his lap! It's on his fucking lap! [laughing]

C: Yeah, okay. Cool. Cool. Great. I love television. [G laughing] God. The enthusiasm drop as soon as that scene ends and we just have to do the rest of the plot is gonna be crazy.

G: I mean, I really like their last interaction this episode. "Leave it to me."

C: Okay, so, Adam's going further evil mode, and his eyes are red, and they're not- Would you call these well-edited? I don't think I would.

G: It's not. The thing about Good Omens is when they do practical effects, they do it pretty magnificently.

C: Yeah. Crowley's eyes look great.

G: But all the CGI is so bad.

C: I mean, I get if the child actor can't really act with red contact lenses in, and also, you want more of a glowing effect and whatever, but like, wow! This looks ugly as shit. He's just telling everyone that blah blah blah, "It's a bad world. We can fix it. And doesn't matter that you three aren't my friends, 'cause I have better friends, and they're coming here, and we're gonna make everything better." And then we get the theme song.

G: So we are back in the bookshop and Crowley- There's this really dramatic pause where it's like, Crowley's just standing there- [laughs]

C: Yeah, in the doorway, like, wreathed in flame.

G: And God goes like, "Crowley had lost the Aziraphale, and the world was ending in a few hours. He was in Hell's bad books, not that Hell has any other kind." And music cue drops.

C: Yeah. I will say a lot of the God narration this episode feels completely useless.

G: Yes, like, why?

C: Some of it's not even in the book. Like, what are we even doing here? Like, I know all those things. I just saw those things happen.

G: Does this happen in the book?

C: Does what happen in the book?

G: You told me a couple eps ago that the TV show kind of diverges

C: I'd say Episode 3 is the largest divergence.

G: Oh, so like, here, it's like, fine.

C: Yeah, yeah, I mean, yeah, there's the burning bookshop and the screaming and the getting hit with a hose and being on all fours, hissing, covered in soot. Yeah.

G: God, he needed to be on all fours, hissing, for fucking real. [C laughs]

C: Aziraphale needs to come back so we can walk Crowley around Soho on a leash. Who said that? [both laughing] Anyway! I'll be more respectful to the poor widower. Let's continue.

G: Okay, let's. But no, the music cue drops, and it's "Somebody to Love," but specifically the part where it's like, [singing] "Find me somebody to-" Yeah, so it's the end of the song

C: And yeah, it's soo-

G: It's so corny.

C: Yeah, but it also- it's so good. [G laughs] God!

G: It's pretty good! This portion of the episode is gonna be so unbearable, we're just giggling and twirling our hair. [C giggles]

C: Yeah, the way it goes from the- like, last line of "You're My Best Friend" that we hear is like, the verse about how you'll never be lonely, etc etc, and then it goes right to here, and then, just like, the general vibes of the songs as well, where like, "Somebody to Love" is like, "I am so weary on my feet and desperate, and I just need somebody right now" is- yeah, yeah, that sure is what has been happening. At least, I know both of them are love songs, but I feel just like, if you just looked at the titles, and you looked at that progression of the titles you'd be like, "Oh, this is when Crowley realizes."

G: Do you agree with that? I don't think it is.

C: I don't think it is, but it is something you could think about.

G: It sure is something! Well, Crowley heads out, and you know, wearing the broken glasses, and then when they step out, they remove the glasses, and the song's still playing all throughout this, and they do like, a little bit of like, "I should litter. Should I litter? I'm a demon, I probably should. What the hell."

C: Yeah. “Nobody's keeping score anymore.”

G: And then she gets into the car, and [laughs] This- the- the- the face that is made in this car scene, it fucking gets to me. It's like, this, like, face of just complete like, shock and like, he's just so kind of disoriented and shocked. And he reaches into the compartment, the glove compartment, and we see that there's so many pairs of glasses there.

C: Yeah, there's like, twenty identical sunglasses in there.

G: And then he picks one up. Puts it on.

C: Yeah, uses his teeth to open the- what do you call the sides of glasses?

G: The stems.

C: Really? Okay

G: I don't think that's true. I don't think that's true. No, but it's like the scene goes from Crowley looking disoriented and so so so so out of it due to being so upset to like, kind of like, this anger. And then that's why, when we get to the next scene, and it's like, him crying and lamenting, I was actually quite surprised. I thought it will continue on with the anger thing, and then, when it didn't, I was like, "Ooh. Ooh!"

C: I guess, I don't know, script book fun fact is that there was supposed to be like, sort of like, a big crowd of firemen and policemen outside, and, like, the taking off the sunglasses was like a "he looks at a cop with his snake eyes because he doesn't give a shit about hiding it any more" sort of thing. Yeah, he's just being very messy in front of a large crowd of people on the script, which, I mean pretty fun. Sorry, Crowley.

G: Yeah, sorry Crowley. And we proceed to a person that I do not care for whatsoever, and it's Shadwell. He is shocked, upset, etc, about the demonic possession exorcism thing.

C: He rings the doorbell with his elbow because he's afraid of his thumb. I thought that was fun.

G: Yes, but, you know.

C: Yeah, it's Shadwell.

G: I hate him, so, not funnay! And it isn't. Madame Tracy opens the door, and she guides him to her bedroom.

C: Yeah, or I don't know she sleeps in the same room that she does sex work in, but it's a bedroom.

G: Yeah, in a bedroom. And Shadwell goes to sleep. [both laugh] This is such a no summary summary. But yeah, that's basically what happens. Who give a shit? The important thing here is that Shadwell is in that place when he gets up later.

C: Yeah, he picks up like a pink flogger thing, and he is like, "Oh my god! Where am I?" And then there's the sound of a whip snapping that is the transition to Heaven.

G: To Aziraphale, yeah..

C: Does the set design of the room matter at all? Like, it's all pink and like, the bed is covered and stuffed animals, which, sure, fun, I guess.

G: Why not?

G: So we go to Aziraphale in Heaven, and he has a completely- not completely, I guess, but he has a different outfit. They removed all the tartan.

C: Yeah, it's the same outfit, but everything is completely white, and he looks so washed out and horrible.

G: Yeah. Yeah! And I quite like that detail 'cause- are we supposed to think that, like, those are the ones that are more attached to his corporation? So like, because they're physical, when he got discorporated, those cease to exist? I mean, that can be one way to look at it, but another way to look at it is like, you know, when you go to Heaven, they purposefully wash you out of your personality traits or whatnot.

C: Yeah, but when he's reporting in Heaven in Episode 1, he still his regular clothes, right?

G: Yeah. But this is different. This is different.

C: That's true, because this is not his body.

G: Yeah. Anyway, so that's all for the outfit situation.

C: The quartermaster angel is unfortunately played by the guy who played Anderson in BBC Sherlock, and unfortunately, I do recognize him immediately.

G: I don't even know who the fuck Anderson is, and I think I watched every single episode of that show.

C: He's like, one of the detectives that's like, mean to Sherlock, and it's supposed to prove how everyone who disagrees with Sherlock is a stupid poo-poo head.

G: Is soo schewpid.

C: Sure. Just like that.

G: And he is there, and he is upset that Aziraphale is late. Gives Aziraphale some clothes to change into.

C: At least he's got a great facial hair.

G: Yeah, the sideburns are fun.

C: His beard is in like, a bunch of like, pieces that are sort of like, sticking out. And all the angels, their battle outfits are kilts.

G: Pretty good. And, you know, Aziraphale is kind of doing the whole like, "Oh, I didn't mean to go here yet. I still have to do stuff downstairs." But the quartermaster is all, "Well, you have a whole platoon waiting for you." Which is fun! I think that's fun. Principality, Angel of the Eastern Gate. Principality is like, that's an actual word, right? Like, that's an actual angel classification? C: Yeah. Uh-huh. But Neil Gaiman does not really subscribe to any particular angel hierarchy. Like, I think there's one hierarchy where principalities are like, above archangels, but like, obviously, that's not what he's going for.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. This guy is like, "Wait, your name's Aziraphale? I think we gave you something. You were issued with-" And Aziraphale's like, "Oh, I was issued with a flaming sword, but, you know, it's not my fault." [laughs]

C: "She was having a very bad day!"

G: And she was! Apparently, that's not what the quartermaster is asking, and in fact, he is asking where Aziraphale's body is. We see that Aziraphale looks at his hand, and it's like, transparent-ish. He's like, "Oh, I got discorporated because I wasn't ready when I hopped into the transportation portal." And I think at some point you said we are to assume that Aziraphale [overlapping] has never been discorporated once, and we hear it here. The body is 6000 years old.

C: Yeah, that makes me very emotional. He's had it for 6000 years! And he's been careful about it. I mean, not that careful, but Crowley saves his ass when he's not that careful about it, I guess.

G: Quartermaster's really pissed and calls him like, "You are a pathetic excuse for an angel!" And Aziraphale- I'm so proud of him for this.

C: I know!!!

G: 'Cause, you know, every single time you see him up in Heaven, he is so- Like, you know, with the Tadfield thing, right? Like, he was going to tell Heaven exactly what he wanted to tell them, like, he was preparing for it, and then when he gets to Heaven, it just goes to complete shit because he can't commit to being that assertive or speaking his mind as clearly as he has planned to. But here, he just straight up goes, "Well, I guess I am a pathetic excuse for an angel because I have no intention of [both] fighting in any war." It's so important to me.

C: Yeah, I'm so proud of him!

G: I am proud of him.

C: And the way that, like, he starts like, "I suppose I am, really," like, a little bit sad, but then, like, musters himself up, and then is just like, fully determined and with it on the "I have no intention of fighting in any war." Proud of him.

G: The quartermaster's still going like, "Yeah, just fucking get into place, and I won't say anything about anything and the sword and the body." Aziraphale just goes, "I will return, no matter what." When told that this is ridiculous because he doesn't have a body, the quartermaster goes, "You can't possess, like, people," and Aziraphale goes, "Demons can." [C screams] And, you know, they're made of the same stock. So I suppose if he tried hard enough, he can possess people. I thought this was an interesting conversation, especially because later on, there's, you know, the conversation with Crowley, where they go- was that "probably explode"? What's that? [overlapping] "Pity I can't inhabit yours."

C: Yeah. "Angel, demon, probably explode."

G: [laughs] They need to have one body. Wait, can I say this? I can. I don't know why I'm so shy. They should have possession sex. Definitely.

C: Oh, yeah. Many people on the internet agree with this statement.

G: They should. They can, should, and must. Anyway, Aziraphale goes near the earth, the giant globe in the center of the empty room, and he goes like, "Oh, how do I get this thing to be?" And while the quartermaster is going like, "Get away from it!" he taps it.

C: He taps the UK specifically, I think he's aiming for London or whatever.

G: And he goes, "I'll figure it out as I go," which did make me emo, because they're making it up as they go! [laughs]

C: Oh. Who give a shit about Supernatural?

G: No, but I like the idea of it, you know. They're both angels, and they're both making it up as they go.

C: I'm very, very, very, very proud of him. I hope nothing in Season 2 [G laughs] does anything about this arc without explaining why that happened. Oh, right, and there's the stupid fucking editing on the quartermaster yelling at the other angels, "What are you looking at? Don't you know there's a war on?" but it's like, just his mouth on "Don't you know there's a war on." Weird stuff. Don't think it it did the thing it wanted to do.

We get back to Adam, and it's just the same thing. He's being creepy at them, saying that everything is great, they're gonna restart everything. The kids are crying. and he's telling them to say something, but they can't, because he took their mouths away, and then he says, like, "You have to smile, I can make it happen." And then their mouths come back and they get pulled up in these very straining-the-face smiles. Etc.

Now, we return to Newt and Anathema, and it's so horrible, this life that we live. But this is the aftermath of their having sex.

G: Boo! I hate him so much!

C: And Newt's saying, "That was so great, and also, it was my first time!"

G: I hate him soo much!

C: And Anathema's getting dressed, and she says, "I'd never have known!" in like, a somewhat nice voice, but not that nice. But, you know, this does give me solace because the way she says that implies that it wasn't her first time, which means that she wasn't saving herself for random guy in a prophecy, so maybe she did experiment with girls in college, thank goodness, but she just hasn't fully embraced how she's an aro lesbian yet because of the prophecy. But you know what? She has time. I believe in her. All we have to do is kill Newt first. [G laughs]

G: We need to kill him, no matter what.

C: Yeah, no matter what. Speaking of experimenting with girls in college, they don't mention in the show that she has a PhD at age 19!

G: Aww. Well, that's so sad! Why did they not mention it?

C: Yeah, this is misogyny. Well, I mean, I think the PhD thing was mostly so they could do a bit in the book where it's like, "Oh, the device was actually named after my ancestor, Godfrey Device, who invented a blah blah blah, and my PhD was on inventors that don't really get credit," blah blah blah, but yeah. Whatever. It's cool that she has a PhD at age 19, and it doesn't make her overpowered or whatever. Just mention that she has a PhD! The whole scene, Newt is just like, "Wow, sex is so good. Let's do it again." Blah blah blah.

G: Like, the world is ending, bro!

C: Yeah, Anathema's just like, getting dressed and focused. And like, she's not into him! She isn't!

G: She is not. She's not!

C: Does Neil Gaiman think this is what women act like when they're into you? 'Cause like, it's not. Due to how she's not into him.

G: And like, let's even remove the question of like, "Is she into him or not?" Like, she obviously is not into the idea of having sex right now, you know? She's dressing up, dude! Like, get the fuck out of here. I hate him so much, and I know he brings up some nice points about free will or whatever the fuck, [C laughing] but, like, there are other people who make such amazing points as well, and I don't need him, and I want him to die. [C laughs]

C: Yeah. The matter-of-fact way in which she's getting dressed afterwards and like, not lingering in it at all, it just feels like she was like, "This is something I have to cross off the list 'cause it's on the prophecies."

G: Yeah, like get it over with.

C: None of it's like, "This is something that I really would engage in if it wasn't for the prophecy." And that makes me so sad! Newt's like, "Can we do it again because the world's ending?" Like, does not give a shit about stopping Adam. And Anathema says that Agnes said that they only did it once, and there's like, a joke about a prophecy where she says Newt has a big ol' swangin' dick.

G: I'll bite it off.

C: Huh?

G: [laughs] I said I'll bite it off. [both laughing]

C: And you will to the dick apply pepper spray?

G: Yeah, I will apply pepper spray on it.

C: Yeah. [laughs] Anathema says she doesn't know if she's actually supposed to stop Adam, because Agnes doesn't tell them to, and she can't find the right card with instructions. And this is when Newt does the whole like, "What do you mean? Don't you ever just do things for yourself and see how they turn out?" And Anathema's like, "No, not important things. And also we only have like, an hour left in the entire world, so we gotta go." And Newt says, "You can't let a 400-year-old witch tell you what to do." And Anathema says, "I've spent my whole life trying to figure out what Agnes wanted me to do, and she's never failed me. Sometimes, I fail her." Which, a good line. I liked that line. It makes me wonder what "Sometimes, I fail her," like, means, the extent of it. Like, did Anathema have a teenage angst phase when she was like, "I can't do this anymore. Why did my parents name me this? Why is this happening? I'm just like, taking the car and running away." And then, like, somehow, just, things keep happening that line up with prophecies or things keep happening that stop her from going, and she's just like, crying in the car, defeated, listening to whatever angsty teens at the time listened to? Like, tell me more! Tell me more! Last episode, she said that the prophecies usually have a frequency of once a month, like, that does not give you any time to live your own life.

G: Yeah.

C: Sorry, Anathema.

G: Okay. So now we go to Crowley who is, in fact, in a bar, getting piss-drunk. He starts talking about the Fall, which is such an interesting choice of topic here. Don't you think so? Here she is, last day of the world, whatnot, best friend just died, etc etc. The thing he's lamenting about is the Falling. Why do you think that is?

C: Yeah. it's hard for me to say just because I find no particular interest in narratives about Crowley regretting, like, hating himself for being a demon or whatever.

G: Yeah.

C: I don't think he does. But I think that that the Fall was probably the first moment when he realized that the universe wasn't-

G: Fair?

C: - that there was no justice in the universe or that his idea of justice was not God's. So I guess this makes sense as a like, "The world is so horrible. Curse everyone. I hate everything so much." Like, it would maybe bring you back to the moment when you lost faith.

G: Mm, yeah, okay. Well, what he's saying here is like- Well, before we go into what he's saying here, let's get into how she's saying it, which is, crying. Like, voice is hoarse due to all the crying. And that is so important to me! So important to me!

C: It's so good.

G: So good. I do wonder how- How is this done?

C: Like, acting-wise?

G: Yeah. Do you know?

C: I don't know. He's a very talented voice actor. On Ducktales, even. He can do whatever. [both laugh]

G: This is true! As spoken like someone who truly did watch Ducktales on the plane [C laughing] to hear David Tennant's voice.

Crowley is crying. This is the part where he starts talking and it's that "I never asked to be a demon. Minding my own business one day, and then, lookie here!" I love that part so much. "It's Lucifer and the guys!" [both laughing]

C: God, they're so cute.

G: They go like, "The food hasn't been that good lately."

C: It's also "I didn't have anything on for the rest of that afternoon."

G: "And the next thing I know, I'm doing a million-light-year freestyle dive into a pool of boiling sulfur."

C: Which, I guess, if this isn't exaggeration, like, confirms that the Fall is physical and painful. That's fun.

G: Physical and painful. And also, like, you know, sauntered vaguely downwards, hang around with the wrong people. Sorry, Crowley. Although, I don't know.

C: I think that it would have happened regardless.

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah. I don't think it's like, "Crowley didn't deserve to Fall as much as the other demons did." I think all of them Fell for unjust reasons.

G: Yeah. Crowley is just there, and, you know, still doing the whole like, crying thing when they see some semblance of Aziraphale. We see it through the reflection in the sunglasses. And Crowley, in the most the voice ever, goes, “Aziraphale?” [laughs] I cannot-

C: It's sickening, it's soo. Like, the voice itself is reaching forward with a hand. It has a hand, and it is grabbing.

G: And then, you know, Crowley is like, "Is that you?" Aziraphale is so cute, sitting there, going, like, "Good question. Not certain. I've never done this before. Can you hear me?" And, you know, Crowley just accepts this immediately, that Aziraphale is here, and it's like-

C: Don't they also do a fun thing where, when they first see him, they lift up their sunglasses to check, and then they like, just let go, and the sunglasses fall back over their eyes?

G: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. After they establish that, you know, "I can hear you," blah blah blah, the first thing Aziraphale asks is, "Did you go to Alpha Centauri?" [C screams] And Crowley goes, "No. I changed my mind. Stuff happened. I lost my best friend." [C screams]

C: And the way- the way she says it. It's like, the whole time it's like, she's trying to hold back tears, and the "I lost my best friend" comes out on a sob. Like [laughs], hello? Also, I think it's just the fact that I'm assuming this is the first place Aziraphale manifested after tapping the globe, right? Because, like, he doesn't even know if Crowley's in London, currently, right? Like he's looking around. He's like, "Does Alpha Centauri just look a lot like a pub in London? Or like, where are we right now?" So like, he was thinking very hard that he needed to get back to Crowley. And that's like, where he ended up. Like, "I tapped the Earth to go to the Earth, but like, I know that I would probably just go to wherever you are, which may not be the Earth."

G: Yeah. Crazy!

C: Crazy!

G: Anyway [laughs], Aziraphale's response to this is a bit of silence, and then, "I'm so sorry to hear it." And, you know, the vibe is very much like, "Chop-chop. I'm so sorry that you're so miserable because you thought I was dead, and also, you called me your best friend! But also, there's so many things that's happening, and so many things that we need to do," and there is, in fact, a lot of things that they need to do. And so Aziraphale proceeds. Says that "Crowley, I need to get back to the bookshop, and I need you to look for a book." Crowley just goes like, "Oh, yeah, your bookshop's gone. I'm so sorry. It burned own."

C: He also rests his, like, cheek on his hand when he's saying it.

G: Yeah! His hand! Yeah. And Aziraphale is like, so quiet and just goes, “All of it?”

C: Yeah.

G: Crowley is like, "Y- y- yeah, wh- what's the book?" And Aziraphale says, "Oh, The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of-" and then Crowley cuts him off and goes, "Agnes Nutter! Yes, I took it! Look!" And then gets the book from his lap, points it up, and starts pointing at it like a little kid, and goes, "Look! Souvenir!" [C screams] I'm going to asplode and die, as you like to say.

C: There's a voice crack on "Agnes Nutter!" that is so important to me.

G: Yeah. He took it! [both] Souvenir! Souve-fucking-nir.

C: Like, they were just gonna hug it as the world ended? Like, that was the plan?

G: [laughing] Yeah.

C: What if we all just died?

G: Aziraphale goes like, "Look inside. I made all the notes. Everything is in there. I worked it all out." Crowley is, you know, looking at the notes, and goes, "Where are you? [overlapping] Wherever you are, I'll come to you." You know, they have the discorporation talk. Aziraphale just goes like, "Oh, I'll meet you at Tadfield Air Base. The world is ending, and that's where it's all going to happen." And that he will be there too, he just needs to find a body. And then, like, I actually don't know how to take the next thing Crowley says.

C: Oh, I know. It made me confused, but no, it's just because Aziraphale goes, “I just need to find a receptive body. Harder than you'd think." Crowley's "I'm not going to go there" is like, [laughs] "I'm not gonna make a sex joke in this circumstance."

G: I mean, that's what I assumed after thinking about it a little bit, but like, it felt very much out of place any way that you think of it.

C: Yeah, no, but it the script also confirms that that's what it was.

G: That's so funny, then, because, like, Aziraphale says this, and Crowley's first thought is, [laughs] "I'm not going to say a sex joke," and then the first thing Aziraphale says is [C laughing], "It's so bad that I can't inhabit your body." And, like, Crowley just goes, "Ooh." "Angel and demon. Probably explode." Literally-

C: I mean... I mean, maybe they would.

G: They would explode. Or asplode, as you like to say so much. You know, I've taken into saying "asplode and die" also.

C: It's a pretty good phrase. Asplode and die!

G: It's pretty good. It ends with Aziraphale disappearing back into the void or whatnot. Before he disappears, he goes, "I'll meet you in Tadfield, but we're both gonna have to get a bit of a wiggle-on!" And Crowley just goes like, "What?" And Aziraphale repeats himself, like, "Tadfield Air Base," but Crowley is just like, "Yeah, but like, wiggle-on?" But, you know, Aziraphale has disappeared, and Crowley, like, throws his arms up in a like, "What?" way. I think it's cute. This scene truly is a scene of all time.

C: Saur Madame Tracy is about to start a seance with like, three people.

G: This scene is so long for no reason.

C: Well, we're cutting to the Horsemen right after that, but you mean the seance scene is so long for no reason?

G: Yeah.

C: Yeah, a lot of this episode, like I said, is just a vehicle to deliver jokes that I never really found that funny.

G: Yeah, me too, I suppose.

C: Miranda Richardson's a great actress and like, she can do it, and she is doing it. But like, it's just not really my thing. So we now see the Four Horsemen convening in a cafe in the UK. You know, Famine goes through customs. Red/War orders four cups of tea, one of them black, and a cheese sandwich. And I think the one of the most annoying things this episode are all the like, just the quips about how the world's gonna end. Like, I know. I'm aware. Like, the waitress is like, "It's hell out there." And War is like, "No, not yet." Like, okay? Like, I know. I'm aware. War and Famine meet up and talk a bit about how it's crazy they've been waiting for so long, and wow, it's only a hundred miles away? Like, it feels like it should have been a bigger deal. Pollution also comes in. I think they're generally like, quite friendly with each other. Last episode, you said you were curious about what they would be like together.

G: Yeah. I mean, it's something, I guess, but I don't know. Towards the end, they do a bit more about this where it's like, War is like, "You know, the war and the nuclear blah blah," and then Pollution going, "But it's not just like that. It's also like, chemicals, whatever." [laughing] And then Famine’s just there, going, "And then there will be winter, and people will be hungry," and it's soo stupid! But yeah. I mean, I think it's fine. I like that they're friendly, I guess.

C: Yeah, I mean, I like their biker outfits, and I like that they all have their own motorcycles, and they're like, styled after them, and that Death’s has like, a ribcage.

G: My favorite look is Famine, I would say. Such a beautiful motorcycle.

C: Yeah. So they're like, “Oh, where's Death?” And then there's been someone like, playing like, this game on a trivia machine the whole time, and this person gets up, and that's him. And they've been all like, friendly and casual with each other, but like, with Death, like, it's clear that he's the leader, and they're all being very reverent. Like, Famine calls him "my lord." They're like, "Okay. Time to ride." And then we return to Madame Tracy's. It's just like, her being a fake psychic and it supposedly being funny. She goes under, but like, it's just like, her sticking her tongue out and moving her head a bit, and connects with her spirit guide, which is a little Irish girl who died at age 9 in 1746. Okay. So the thing about this is that, in the book, her spirit Guide is Geronimo, like, the historical figure, and she's very- she's quite racist about it. She does an accent and bad English for it, and she also says a slur.

G: I don't know who Geronimo is.

C: Oh, he was like, an indigenous American. He was a leader from the Apache people. So yeah. And I was like, "Okay, well." And I think this thing with Colleen O'Leary, like, she is doing some Irish stereotypes, but it's like, it's not as bad, I would say. Like, she does say "begorrah" as Colleen, and apparently that's just like, a word that people say to like, make someone seem more Irish, so yeah, she's doing Irish stereotypes and stuff. So I was like, "Well, I guess it's nice that Neil Gaiman learned," and then I look in the scriptbook, and it says, "In the book, we have Geronimo as her fake spirit guide. I'd like a female voice as it makes the Aziraphale stuff better." So. [laughing] That was the only reason you switched it? [G laughing] That was it, Neil Gaiman? I wanted to give you, like, a singular point, and you spat on it! Some people never learn. They don't learn anything ever.

This is like, barely related, but like, recently, someone on the Tumblr asked him, "Hey, like, do you regret like, a joke you had in the book where you call Crowley's computer 'having the intelligence of an r-slur ant'?" And he was like, "Well, no." I mean, to give him credit, it was more like, "I definitely wouldn't write it today, but it meant something different back then, and it wasn't offensive back then, and I'm now used to the fact that anything I write today will make me seem like a monster in 2060." Like, I don't- Okay, like, the measure of what is offensive or not, I guess, depends on who is in power, like, I don't think that- I think that using- like, even if you were like, "I meant it in the medical way," like, it's still bad to like, say "something is as stupid as a person with an intellectual ability-" "an ant with an intellectual disability." So like, yeah. Whatever. Anyway, so, you know, that's Neil Gaiman for ya.

G: I mean, I want to be clear that like, perhaps even two weeks ago, whenever Crystal was like, "Oh, I hate Neil Gaiman so much it's unreal," I was like, "That's probably for the best." [C laughs] But like, I never really thought about it 'cause I have never read anything that Neil Gaiman has ever said online. Like, I don't know this man at all. Recently [C laughs], I came across some choice Tweets from this man.

C: "I came across"- Midway through watching this episode, during the "the Southern pansy" scene, I got so mad that I went and like, scrubbed back through like, all the Tweets that he's made that have made me angry about him saying that they weren't gay and like, made a little collage on my Google Docs of them and then sent Grey a screenshot.

G: My god, this guy's unbearable! [C laughs] Yeah. I stand by what Crystal said last episode that Neil Gaiman should-

C: Bleeep!

G: But yeah. [both yeah] Bleep! And he should!

C: And he will! Thanks, Will Wood.

G: [laughing] Thanks, Will Wood.

C: Do we explain that? Yeah, Will Wood just has a song called "Memento Mori," and one of the lines in it that repeats a lot is like, what is it? [both] "One day, you're going to die."

G: Yeah. And every time we say, "Oh, I want blank to die, and he will," "Thanks, Will Wood" is what we say. Thanks, Will Wood!

C: Yeah, yeah. Thanks, Will Wood!

So there's just like, bits about how she's a fake psychic. Like, she asks Mr. Scroggie, "Oh, there's a spirit asking for you. Have you ever known anyone named John? Or Tom? Or Steve? Or Dave?" And then the one Dave he knows is alive, so it's very confusing that he's talking from beyond the veil, etc. And Mrs. Ormorod wants to talk to her husband, Ron. And then something comes through, and it's like, I don't know. Just a lot of physical comedy bits. There's like, elephant sounds, and she pants like a dog, and there's like, horn instruments-

G: Farting-

C: - and blah blah blah. And then finally, Aziraphale gets through. And the woman, Mrs. Ormorod, asks, "Hey, is that Ron?"

G: It's Michael Sheen voice.

C: Yeah, it's Michael Sheen voice. He got ADR-ed in. And yeah, she's still insisting that she has to talk to Ron, so he puts Ron through, and I guess this is the only thing we learn about the afterlife for humans. Ron seems very unhappy.

G: Is cold.

C: It's very cold here. He's shivering. I mean, basically, it's just like, she's annoying and talks a lot and is also racist 'cause she's complaining about how her daughter served Korean food at her wedding. The thing that she's saying in the book is, let's see. "Now Ron, you remember, our Eric's littlest, Sybilla, well you wouldn't recognize her now, she's taken up macrame, and our Letitia, you know, our Karen's oldest, she's become a lesbian but that's all right these days and is doing a dissertation on the films of Sergio Leone as seen from a feminist perspective." [G laughs] I don't think- was she racist in the- I don't think she was racist in the book, but I guess Neil Gaiman was like, "Let's swap out the 'Let's swap out the "she's a lesbian, but that's alright these days" with Korean food.'" [laughs] Alright, whatever. I don't know how to make a kimchi and pussy-eating joke, but someone do it for me.

G: Jessi has done it. At some point in a song, Jessi goes, "My kimchi so delicious, need a Michelin," but the dance is like, "It's pussy."

C: Fuck yeah. [laughs] So anyway, basically, he's like, "Blah blah blah, you never let me talk when we were married, so now there's only one thing I wanna say to you, and it's 'Shut up!'" And it's very loud yelling shit, and there's lightning going off blah blah blah. Who give a shit. Aziraphale comes back and Tracy kicks everybody out. And then we go to her making some tea, two cups of tea. So she looks in the mirror, and it's Aziraphale! And he gives her a little wave, and he's so cute.

G: Yeah, this scene. I love it so much. I think constantly about- I don't know, actually, if I've mentioned it in the podcast. I've mentioned it to Crystal, definitely. But one time I was watching a Michael Sheen interview, and somebody commented, "One thing about Michael Sheen is he's so good at playing gay." [both laugh]

C: And he is.

G: And I think about it constantly. And he is! And recently, I sent a Crystal- "I sent a Crystal." [C laughs] I sent Crystal a video that somebody made on the Twitters where, like, they compiled all of Michael Sheen's like, film credits, a scene from every single thing he's been on.

C: But like a two-second clip from each one.

G: And like, what Crystal said was like, it literally is like, "He plays a gay character here. He plays a gay character in this one. And then all the rest are like, boring, boring, boring guy. Boring. Boring guy. Boring guy. Most charismatic, charming, gay man alive. Boring, boring, boring." And it literally is like that.

C: Yeah, it really is.

G: He is so good at playing gay. Good for him.

C: Good for him.

G: When I said this, my next thought was "Mark Gatiss could never," and you know what? [laughs]

C: Yeah, Mark Gatiss really could never.

G: Is that so mean? Is that so mean? He is actually gay.

C: He is actually gay, yes. He also wrote BBC Sherlock. You can say whatever you want about him. [G laughs]

G: You know, recently- Again, I've mentioned this to you. I have no recollection whether it was mentioned in the podcast. But sometime when we started watching Good Omens, I had to watch an episode of Vicious for one of my literature classes. And I didn't know what Vicious was or was about or anything when I watched it. But it starts with this guy talking, and he is like, you know, flamboyant, effeminate, all that. And then I think to myself, "Wait.

Aziraphale acts like this. Is Aziraphale even gay, or do British men really just act like this?" [C laughing] And then another guy shows up, and it's Ian McKellen, and he acts that way, too. And I'm like, "Wow, maybe British men really are just like this all the time." [both laughing] And turns out, Vicious is about, like, these two old gay queens and like, their life. Like, they are gay. And like, Aziraphale is gay. That's my point. He is the Southern pansy.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: So Crowley is now in a traffic jam inside of London. And, oh yeah, "Another One Bites the Dust" is playing, kind of in the radio, and then, you know, at choice opportunities in the story, it gets louder and louder and all that. And Crowley's wondering like, "Oh, why is this all happening to me? It's so miserable." And then there's like, a voice, maybe a memory.

C: He's remembering Satan, yeah.

G: Yeah. Crowley remembers Satan from Episode 1 saying, "Oh, what you did with M25 the is a stroke of demonic genius, darling." He realizes that the reason why everything is so traffic is because back in the 70s, Crowley had a very big hand in making the M25. I love this so much. He really was like, "You know what? I'm going to be an architect for the 70s." And they were! So we cut to like, Hell back in the seventies, and you see Crowley-

C: The disco outfit.

G: - same look as the "head of a pin" outfit, yeah. So it's like mustache, long 70s hair, super fun.

C: And all the demons look exactly the same as they've always been.

G: Yes. And the three demons there that we recognize is Hastur, Ligur, and [both] Beelzebub. That's Beelzebub, right? Crowley is going, "So, thanks to three computer hacks, selected bribery," and then, like, a little bit under the breath, going, "and me moving some markers across a field one night," the M25 London Motorway-

C: [laughing] Yeah, we see the flashback of her moving the markers, and it's so fun. And they're wearing the jacket that they wear in the deleted scene with the rats.

G: Yeah! The orange one.

C: So this is just their- I think people call this their "fucking shit up" outfit or their "fucking shit up" jacket.

G: For real. Anyway, the M25, which was supposed to look like, a normal orbital motorway has been turned into the dread Odegra, which means [both] "Hail the great beast, devourer of worlds" in the language of the dark priesthood of ancient Mu. And then she goes, "Can I get a [both] wahoo?" And "Can I hear a wahoo?" is just constantly in my head. Can she literally get a wahoo?

C: Exactly.

G: And, you know, Hastur in the back just raises his hand like, everybody is looking at Crowley like he is the stupidest demon ever.

C: Yeah, everyone boos him at "Can I get the wahoo?"

G: Yeah. [laughs] "Can I hear a wahoo?" and it's just people going, [both] "Booo." Yeah, but, you know, Crowley cannot be shamed into being ashamed of this very wonderful fucking- I cannot place my words, but, you know, he's not- he's not ashamed. He goes like, "Well, you know, once it's built, so many people will just be so mildly annoyed that they're going to be water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil." And then finally, Crowley calls on Hastur, and Hastur's question is, [both] "What's a computer?" I love it. And also, throughout this scene, "Another One Bites the Dust" is playing. It's honestly like, the most natural music cue here, I feel. 'Cause like, the best friend one, on the nose, and like, the we have talked about how corny "Somebody to Love" is. And even the ones later seem, at that point, you're like, "Ah, they're really expending the budget on this one." Yeah. [both laugh] They want to spend money so bad it's unreal. But this one, it's like, "Oh, yeah. Hell yeah."

Back in Madame Tracy's place, we see- what the fuck is his name? [both] Shadwell waking up.

C: Book fact is that during the sleep, Shadwell is supposed to have a nightmare about Agnes Nutter's burning where he suddenly realizes how horrible it is to like, die by fire and like, it's supposed to kick off him like, starting to feel bad about being a witchfinder, but that doesn't happen here.

G: Yeah, it doesn't happen. Is it because they wanted to do the joke about like, Adam being a witch?

C: Oh, no, I mean, he still does all the same things, but- I don't know. I guess they just probably thought it wasn't that important?

G: But why? I mean, we don't give a shit about Shadwell, so it's fine.

C: Yeah, it is.

G: Yeah. Shadwell just wakes up, and hears, in the other room, Madame Tracy talking. And then suddenly, the voice changes, and it's Aziraphale going, "Oh, given the circumstances, we need to be extremely flexible."

C: Yup.

G: And Shadwell gets upset at this, storms into the room, but there's just, you know, Madame Tracy in there, and he's goes, "Where is he? Some Southern pansy. I heard him making lewd suggestions." And then Madame Tracy turns around, and her voice changes to Aziraphale's. And Aziraphale goes, [overlapping] "Not just a Southern Pansy, Sergeant. The Southern pansy."

C: He- [laughs] if he's not gay- [G laughing] I-

G: Aziraphale literally goes, "I'm a Southern pansy!" and people are still like, "But he cannot be gay because he's not a man!"

C: People as in Neil Gaiman!

G: You guys have such a limited view of gender!

C: You have such a limited view of gender! [G laughs] It's- I don't. I don't get it. "Not just"- okay, if he was like, "Not a Southern pansy, the Southern pansy" maybe it's like, no, I'm not a Southern pansy, but I'm like, the person you refer to as the Southern pansy. But it's not- "Not just." So he's like- I like- wh- hm? Why- why would he say that if he was not gay? Why would he say it?

G: [laughs] And the thing is like, when I watched this, the first time, that thought did not even cross my mind that this is like- because, like, I don't know. I just like, in my head, Aziraphale is out proudly as a gay man. Like, no question in my head.

C: Yeah! And he is!

G: It's only when Crystal sent me Neil Gaiman's Tweets that I was like, "Wait. What is wrong with Neil Gaiman?" [laughs] And you know what? What is wrong with him.

C: This is in the book, too! What? What does it mean?

G: I do not think a single person who knows what the word "pansy" implies would even think for a second that this is not Aziraphale just being like, "Yeah. Gay as hell."

C: Yeah. What? What? [screams]

G: Yeah.

C: I thought about the scene. I went for a half hour walk, not because of the scene, but I was like, talking about it out loud to myself during that, and then I came back, and then I reread the Tweets, and then I like, DMed Danica for like, an hour about how much I hated Neil Gaiman. [laughs]

Let's see. Which Tweet like- "According to the book, angels and demons are sexless. They don't have genders. I've been very happy to describe it as a love story, because that's what I wrote. I'm not going to describe them as gay men, because whatever they are, they aren't that." Okay, like, okay. [G laughs] That's what you wro-

G: [laughing] You have such a limited view of gender!

C: You wrote [laughing] that Aziraphale said that he was gay, though. Like, the thing that you wrote was Aziraphale saying he was gay. Like, I feel like bringing up Misha Collins [both laugh]- it reduces how Aziraphale said he was gay, but it really does feel like that one ask someone got, like, after Misha Collins uncame out, and someone got an ask that was like, "Oh man, you guys like, jump on everything. Like, what did he even say to make you think he was bisexual?" [G laughing] and the person replied, "He said that he was bisexual." [both laughing] Like, Neil Gaiman's out here like, "What did Aziraphale even say to make you think he was gay?" He said he was gay. [both laughing] That's what he did. He said that he was gay.

G: [laughing] He literally said it, though.

C: And later he says, "Yes, I have the audacity as co-author to say that people see Aziraphale as a gay man and he's not. He's an angel."

G: What does that mean, Neil Gaiman??

C: "The Crowley/Aziraphale relationship doesn't become straight when Aziraphale is Madame Tracy's body, or Crowley's a nanny either. But your headcanon IS valid. For you."

G: God.

C: I mean, yeah, there's another one that's not as relevant, where he just says that "I wouldn't exclude the ideas that they are ace or aromantic or trans." If they- if angels are sexless, and that's why they can't be gay, how can they be trans, Neil Gaiman?

G: [laughing] How can they be trans, Neil Gaiman?

C: [laughing] The only way in which they can be trans is that they choose a gender, and if they choose a gender, and that gender is potentially man, and apparently, you have to be a man to be gay, then maybe, that means that they are gay. And okay, but later, you know, he makes up for it because this is what- This is what precedes the "trans in the Tumblr sense" Tweet. Remember the "trans in the Tumblr sense" Tweet that I told you about?

G: [laughs] Yes. Yes.

C: Yeah. Let me find the the "trans in the Tumblr sense" Tweet. Someone asks about this, right? And he goes, "Trans in the sense I've seen people discussing it on Tumblr that they, particularly Crowley, have reinvented themselves, transitioned from one identity or state of being to another." From what? [laughing] From angel to demon? From what? [both laughing] What do you mean, trans in the Tumblr sense, Neil Gaiman?

G: When Crowley turned from fucking-

C: A snake to a person?

G: - normal sized, normal human sized to the size of an electron [C laughing], that's Crowley being transgender.

C: [laughing] In the sense that he's seen on Tumblr. [G laughing, C screams]

G: [laughing] It's so stupid. I hope Neil Gaiman dies.

C: I mean, yeah, I mean, I'm glad that he did say they ace or aromantic, like, that's fun, but like, I think the thing about all of this is that if he was like, "I'm just gonna write characters who are like, in general queer," which, like, he has used to describe their relationship, which would imply that it describes them, why wouldn't - Like, okay, for example, the Portland Place scene, if you wanted to be a little more accurate to the times, like, there'd be people in drag, and probably like, some of them, even if they wouldn't have called themselves that at the time would be like, trans women, and like, probably some of them would be ace as well and things like, that. But like, he specifically was just like, "These are a bunch of men played by cis man actors wearing suits." You know, if he was like, "Aziraphale's just generally queer," like, why would the only times he associates Aziraphale with queerness be like, specifically about him being a gay man, or like, him, like, connecting with gay men? This isn't even like, a debate argument. It's like, a "Okay, if that was your intention, you should have showed him hanging out with more trans people or something." If that was your intention, you did a bad job at portraying that intention. I would love if Aziraphale was shown to be canonically nonbinary in the show if that's what you're going for, and you're like, "He wouldn't identify as gay because, like, his nonbinariness is important to him, and like, part of that is like, not identifying as gay." Great. Okay. Why not have him find community amongst trans people instead of just having him like, at the Hundred Guineas Club, and then [laughing] calling himself a gay man on screen?

G: Also, like, I hate so much that he was like, "He's not a gay man." That he says, "People see Aziraphale as a gay man, and he's not. [both] He's an angel." What does that even mean? What does that mean?

C: I mean, by that, I think he just means "Angels are inherently sexless," but like it feels weird. Because, like, it makes it like, later, when he says that they could be like, aromantic or ace, which, again, great. Love that. So it's not a "They wouldn't use any modern human labels for their sexuality." It's just like, "They wouldn't be gay? men? 'cause they're sexless." I don't- it's confusing. I'm confused.

G: You have such a limited view of gender, Neil Gaiman.

C: He really really does. He really does.

G: I hate that we keep on quoting that fucking TikTok [C laughs] that uses that as a funny thing, but like, [laughing] literally, he has such a limited view of gender!

C: Yeah, like it's not supposed to be taken seriously. [laughing] It's about how Taylor Swift fucking a man can be a lesbian act, is like, what that TikTok is saying with that sentence [G laughing], but.

G: But he does, though!

C: Ugh. Man. Man. Also, I think recently, I have more into Aziraphale being ace, but like, he can be both! Like, both of things can be true, but Neil Gaiman's like, "No. Uh-uh. No way."

G: Also, like, specifically, last episode you told- you said, like, after you went onto the rant, and you went like, "None of this matters in real life," and blah blah blah, and the thing is, none of it matters in real life because we don't actually like, have angels and demons walking around us, [C laughing] being queer and like, using gay and blah blah blah. But like, I hate Neil Gaiman so much it's unreal-

C: [laughing] And it's affecting my life.

G: - and that matters to me in my life. [both laughing] So yeah.

C: Yeah. [laughing] If you didn't want him to be gay, you shouldn't have written him to be gay. That's what I think. Yeah. "But your headcanon IS valid. For you." I just- the way that he goes back and forth between like, "Oh, the only thing that's canon is the thing that happens on the show, and also book canon and show canon are removed from each other," but, like, he'll also just be on the Internet telling everyone their headcanons are wrong [G laughing] because he has the audacity as co-author-

G: Fuck off!

C: Yeah.

G: Log out, Neil Gaiman! Fucking log out.

C: [laughs] Like, I know that I should also take this advice, [G laughs] but like, he's put me in a Saw trap designed for me specifically, and I will never leave. I will never cut that limb off.

G: Well, basically, after that, Madame Tracy just explains to Shadwell that like, "No, Mr. Aziraphale says that kingdom come is happening, and, you know, apocalypse, blah blah blah. Let's go talk about it." Now we go to Adam.

C: Well, we go to God narrating and saying that Adam has started shaping reality, and the way he's started shaping reality in ways that not even Crowley had expected is that people on the start just chanting, "Hail the great beast, devourer of worlds, again and again." And then the M25 catches on fire.

G: And then they asplode and die.

C: They all asplode and die. This is like, thousands of people who just died here, right? RIP.

G: Yeah. But I am to believe that Adam brings back everyone, like, from before the all the shenanigans happen by the end of next episode? So these people will come alive.

C: Do you think he brings Ligur back?

G: Oh, interesting. Perhaps so.

C: Perhaps so.

G: Ligur and Hastur? They'll be alive.

C: Perhaps so. I mean, Hastur is alive. You just saw him. Oh, well, he got discorporated?

G: Yeah, but he died? Oh, yeah, that's true.

C: It wasn't holy water. He just got discorporated.

G: Because the way I know this is because I googled the Bentley, and it said that Adam brings back the Bentley when he brings back the world as it is. So you know, I'm assuming that involves everyone. But if it just involves like, the people around him at that given moment, [laughs] that would sucks so bad.

C: It would suck pretty bad. I would assume those people come back.

G: Yeah. I'm assuming that's also how the bookshop comes back.

C: Yeah, God says, you know, "The M25, a burning, magical ring of fire surrounding London. Nobody was getting in or out. Crowley had made it. Now, Crowley was trapped inside it." And Crowley sees this. Hot happy about it. Goes, "Okay, well, this is my fault, but like, come on, Tadfield, Tadfield, Tadfield!" And then he pulls over onto the shoulder and starts driving. And here is where I'm going to read page a 170 of my PDF of Good Omens out loud.

So basically, I did not-

G: Oh my god, this is the optimistic part?

C: Yeah, okay. I didn't say anything about how book Crowley would fucking never get drunk in a pub instead of like, being determined. Book Crowley never even wanted to run away to Alpha Centauri. That was something that shit movie script Crowley wanted to do in yeah, in the bad movie script where Crowley's like, a terrible person who hates Earth the entire time-

G: "I don't care about Earth," yeah.

C: - and calls Aziraphale too stupid to live. [G laughing] So book Crowley, imagine, never asked to run away, just like, went home, got the call about Hell, did the holy water thing, ran to Aziraphale’s, saw the bookshop burning, and then got in his car and went, right?

G: Yeah.

C: Okay. So.

"He'd taken the opportunity to reread Aziraphale's notes, and to thumb through Agnes Nutter's prophecies, and to do some serious thinking. His conclusions could be summarized as follows: 1) Armageddon was under way. 2) There was nothing Crowley could do about this. 3) It was going to happen in Tadfield. Or to begin there, at any rate. After that it was going to happen everywhere.

4) Crowley was in Hell's bad books. [Not that Hell has any other kind.]

5) Aziraphale was-as far as could be estimated-out of the equation. 6) All was black, gloomy and awful. There was no light at the end of the tunnel-or if there was, it was an oncoming train. 7) He might just as well find a nice little restaurant and get completely and utterly pissed out of his mind while he waited for the world to end. 8) And yet . . . And that was where it all fell apart. [G sighs] Because, underneath it all, Crowley was an optimist. If there was one rock-hard certainty that had sustained him through the bad times--he thought briefly of the fourteenth century--then it was utter surety that he would come out on top; that the universe would look after him. Okay, so Hell was down on him. So the world was ending. So the Cold War was over and the Great War was starting for real. So the odds against him were higher than a vanload of hippies on a blotterful of Owlsley's Old Original. There was still a chance. It was all a matter of being in the right place at the right time. The right place was Tadfield. He was certain of that; partly from the book, partly from some other sense: in Crowley's mental map of the world, Tadfield was throbbing like a migraine. The right time was getting there before the end of the world. He checked his watch. He had two hours to get to Tadfield, although probably even the normal passage of Time was pretty shaky by now. Crowley tossed the book into the passenger seat. Desperate times, desperate measures: he had maintained the Bentley without a scratch for sixty years. What the hell. He reversed suddenly, causing severe damage to the front of the red Renault 5 behind him, and drove up onto the pavement. He turned on his lights, and sounded his horn. That should give any pedestrians sufficient warning that he was coming. And if they couldn't get out of the way . . . well, it'd all be the same in a couple of hours. Maybe. Probably. "Heigh ho," said Anthony Crowley, and just drove anyway." Ahh! That's my guy!

G: Good Lord. Good Lord.

C: That's my fucking guy. Book Crowley would neever. But, you know, I think show Crowley's getting close to there. So, thanks show Crowley.

G: I like that so much better.

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: I understand that "I lost my best friend," blah blah blah. [both laughing]

C: Right after you were like, screaming, crying about it half an hour ago? [G laughs] But yes.

G: I like this better. I mean, could have stayed exactly the same, you know. Like, prior to this, everything could have stayed exactly the same. Crowley wanted to run away, blah blah blah. Aziraphale dies. Just take out the pub scene.

C: Yeah. Just the fact that that he was going to sit there and die until Aziraphale was like, "Hey, can you go to Tadfield?" And like, maybe it's just 'cause Crowley didn't have a next step because Aziraphale wouldn't tell him, but like, she knows that Tadfield is where the Antichrist was born, like, and they sent Shadwell there. Like, it's not a huge leap to just go there. Yeah, it is just like, "Aziraphale died, so now I will die also." Like, come on! Come on. Yeah.

G: Yeah. Like, you know, if, you know, if Aziraphale died for this, might as well, you know?

C: Yeah. If you need to make her motivations so Aziraphale-centered because you decide that you were writing a love story, and that made you slightly worse at writing, and more prone to character slander [G laughs], then, I don't know. At least do it as like a "This is what he was fighting for, and thus I will also" thing. Ugh. Ya. And okay, the worst part of it was that the pub scene was originally written to be in St. James's Park, and there wasn't gonna be any alcohol, and Aziraphale was gonna appear as like, a reflection on the water. I feel like the presence of the alcohol makes it so much clearer that it's a giving up thing. Like, if Crowley was just in the park, looking at the water, it could just be like, mourning-

G: Trying to think, yeah.

C: Trying to think, right? Yeah. So like, apparently, but then it was like, Oh, apparently, they couldn't film in St. James's Park at night or whatever was the situation. So then he tried to rewrite it to be in a cafe, but they couldn't get a cafe location to film in. [G laughs] So then he switched it to a pub. So like, there were two iterations of this where Crowley had not basically completely given up, and then, just because of like, logistics, it came out this way. And that's unfortunate to me.

G: Good fucking lord. [laughs] Why did you not send this to me prior to recording?

C: I wanted to hear your live reaction, I guess. [G laughs]

G: I suppose so! Well.

C: I mean, it's the same way I didn't talk about- Well, did you already know about the 1885 Criminal Law Amendment thing?

G: No. When I started crying last episode? [laughs] I know!

C: Yeah, I also didn't tell you about that one 'cause I was like, "I wanna hear Grey's live reaction to this fun little historical fact."

G: So we go to this girl who works at a call center for this insurance company or something, and she, like, you know, keeps on calling people, and they keep on hanging up on her until eventually she ends up calling Anthony Cowwley. And, you know, she calls and goes, "Hello, Mr. Cowwley. We're calling about an accident you had." And then the voice that responds is, in fact, not Crowley. It's Hastur. And Hastur is going like, "Oh, it wasn't an accident, Lisa," and this girl, Lisa, starts being afraid, 'cause how does this guy know my name? And Hastur just goes like, "Oh, I should thank you personally for setting me free and meet your friends," and she, very afraid, goes, "I'm hanging up now." But Hastur goes, "It's too late." And then a little maggot comes out of her mic, and then just, maggot fills up the entire place. When that's all over, all of them like, get swallowed up into Hastur, who's there, and like, we see skeletons in the back. He ate up every fucking body in this room. I love this! It's nice to see some demonic evil.

C: Yeah. Pretty gnarly.

G: Hastur, you know, funny guy. Demon when it counts. Good for him.

C: Yeah.

G: And then we go back to Sergeant Shadwell and the gang. I don't know why I word it like that. It's supposed to be Aziraphale and the gang. But they're talking about the Antichrist, and Aziraphale is like, "We need to kill the Antichrist, and we need you, Shadwell, to do it!"

C: Yeah. It's nice that he's finally like, "Well, I'm not gonna kill a kid, and I'm not gonna make Crowley kill a kid. That was an overstep. This guy seems like he'd be down for it, though." both laugh]

G: God. Shadwell is a bit apprehensive, due to the never having killed anyone before thing. But eventually, Aziraphale is able to convince him and asks if he has weapons.

C: Aziraphale's convinced him by saying that the Antichrist is a witch, and that he's just covered in nipples.

G: My god!

C: And in the script but not in the show, it says that Aziraphale is crossing his fingers under the table as he does this, which is [both laugh], you know, the thing you do to cancel out the fact you're lying.

G: That is so cute.

C: Which I think is so cute. This is the part where in the book, Aziraphale tells Shadwell, like, "'The Antichrist is more than just a witch. He's the witch. He's just about as witchy as you can get.' 'Would he be harder to get rid of than, say, a demon?' asked Shadwell, who had begun to brighten. 'Not much more,' said Aziraphale, who had never done other to get rid of demons than to hint to them very strongly that he, Aziraphale, had some work to be getting on with, and wasn't it getting late? And Crowley had always got the hint." Ah!

G: They literally hang out like, weekly for that to even be a thing

C: Exactly! Exactly. They really do. And, like, Crowley, usually tries to hang out longer, which is very cute.

G: But he always takes the hint!

C: Yeah. He does. He does always take the hint.

G: That's so- [laughs] You know, this week I have become more fond of Crowley than I have ever been throughout watching Good Omens.

C: Yeah. You sent me just "CROWLEYYY" in caps a lot. [laughs]

G: Yeah. I don't know. It's because of that damn fucking AMV that I watched that like, I came across on YouTube shorts.

C: Which one?

G: The "Enchanted." I mentioned it last episode, too.

C: Yeah, you mentioned it last episode. I, honestly, you sent it to me and I watched it but I didn't pay that much attention to it because I just hate when videos crop that way.

G: It made me so sad. Like, I just, I don't know. The pining shit really gets to me, I guess. How is he even able to handle it? I cannot imagine. Like, imagine the only person, only person in your life who has been around as long as you are, like, who you know will be around- Like, you know what I mean? 'Cause like, I'm sure they've had human friends, you know, like he had Leonardo da Vinci. And well, were they friends? You said they were 'cause like, he was talking to Crowley about the painting.

C: Yeah. They were getting drunk together.

G: And, you know, Aziraphale had like, fucking Nostradamus and the people in the clubs and stuff. Yeah. And the thing is like, I'm sure those are genuine connections, blah blah blah. [C laughs] But like, when, you know, those are short bursts of time that you're with those people, and you're always aware that they're going to be gone and you're going to be here forever and ever way after them. And of course there's so many things you can tell them also. So like, by virtue of that, of being a demon and an angel on earth, and also by virtue of the Agreement, like, Crowley and Aziraphale really only have each other. And it makes me so miserable that Crowley is here, and it's like, "This is the only person I can pretty much tell everything to," this one person that you have in your life that theoretically, you can tell everything to, and you also still need to do this fucking dance of like, plausible deniability. [laughs] It makes me feel sick to think about it! Wouldn't it be so lonely? Crowley, weren't you so lonely?

C: Yeah, I know I'm usually Team Crowley, but Aziraphale does have to do the same thing. It is similarly as hard. I feel like he has to do even more of the same thing because he feels that Heaven is watching him a lot more than Crowley thinks that Hell is watching her.

G: No, but I mean, yes, I agree, but like, I guess in my perspective, Aziraphale seems to be better at deluding himself.

C: Yeah, is in so much denial that it doesn't- it's not a sharp pain.

G: Yes. I mean, I've said this to Crystal. Okay, we have gone on so many tangents in this episode. But whatever. Like, in the third episode, what, during the Rome scene, I told Crystal in our DMs, that like, "This reminds me so much of like, that scene in Giovanni's Room where they met in the bar." And like, not even like, sincerely. it's just whenever there's a cute meeting scene in like, some bar setup, the first thing that I think of and like, me and Crystal's shorthand - is that a term? - Like, me, and Crystal's shorthand for when I think, "Oh, this is so sweet" is "This is just like David and Giovanni in the bar." [C laughs] Like, that's just what I say, right?

C: Healthy.

G: So like, when I said that, it wasn't even a sincere thing. It wasn't like, "I'm literally legitimately going, 'This is just like David and Giovanni.'" It's just like, "Oh, it's a cute bar scene," you know. And then, like, I thought about Aziraphale and Crowley some more, and I'm like- I mean, for those who are unfamiliar, Giovanni's Room, beautiful novel by James Baldwin. Talks about many things, as many novels do, but something that I really like about it is how it talks about how what happens when you just don't allow yourself to love sincerely and you don't allow yourself the liberty to feel those feelings, and what it does to you, and what it does to the people around you. And I guess I see Aziraphale as that. As like, the one who has to be like, "Oh, but I'm not of liberty to feel this way." And Crowley feels more of the, you know, collateral damage. I guess to me. To be fair, I've only watched Season 1 up to Season 1, Episode 5, and this is all just happening in my imagination. But do you understand what I'm trying to say?

C: Yeah, yeah. I do.

G: Good fucking lord. How did Crowley do it? How'd you do it, Crowley? How'd you do it? Ah!

C: I think the love built gradually. They were able to like, have breakups and not see each other for thousands of years.

G: That's true!

C: And I don't think that it was like, sickening pining the whole time or whatever the fuck.

G: Yeah. But like, I mean, just think about like, asking someone, "Run away with me" and them just being like, "No. No," like, I don't know. I think about it so much.

C: Yeah, it is a lot. It is very- yeah, "Everything's on the line. I am showing you everything. Like, come on, please." And like, yeah.

G: It's like, you know, like, Crowley's there, like, holding Aziraphale by the shoulder and he's like, "Just- just-" And then Aziraphale, like, the whole time, just being like, "No."

C: Yeah.

G: Horrible. Horrible time.

C: Horrible time.

G: Well, anyway, [laughs] they get the gun. [laughs]

C: Yeah.

G: Yeah. Shadwell brings out a bigass gun.

C: Shadwell is getting ready to kill Shinzo Abe. [G laughs]

G: Literally.

C: It's very much a doohickey. It's a steampunk doohickey. Also, I never got why this joke survives to the show where Shadwell's like, "It can shoot silver bullets," and Aziraphale’s like, "That's for werewolves." That would work on a person too! [G laughing]

G: Just like in Supernatural. [both laughing]

C: But yeah, he decides that he's gonna load it with bricks and kill Adam with bricks, and [laughs] I think that's beautiful.

G: I did some predictions last episode or I don't know which episode it was, but I said that I think Aziraphale will kill this kid.

C: And by kill you mean shoot, yeah.

G: And like, shoot the kid and stuff. Like, the kid won't die, but Aziraphale will try to do it. I think it would be so funny if he like, does shoot Adam, but like, it's not a bullet, it's a fucking brick, [C laughing] so it's just like, "Ow! Owie! Ouch! Yeowch!"

C: So we return to Crowley driving. In a fire, same bad situation. In the book, she had to drive across the River Thames in order to get here, but I think that this did not have to happen to her here. He's rummaging through The Nice and Accurate Prophecies in order to see if there's some kind of a prediction that can help.

G: They go, "Why isn't there an index?" which I thought was so cute because the day before I watched this, I did spend so much time in an index of a book being like, "Why isn't this word in the index?" [laughs] So when Crowley goes, "Why isn't there an index?" I was like, "He's just like me for real."

C: Yeah. Sure is. So someone reaches across the seat next to him, takes off his sunglasses and snaps them in half, and it is Hastur. He says, you know, "You'll never escape London. Nothing can. There's nowhere to run." And "Hell will not forget. Hell will not forgive. You're like, done. Everything's over. You're not gonna get across that." Crowley puts on a Mozart CD that has been in here for less than a fortnight, I suppose, because it remains Mozart. And I think the idea is that the two week mark hits when he's driving across, so it turns into Queen.

G: [laughs] That's so fun.

C: Yeah. He goes, "Let's find out."

G: And then all of Hastur's, like, bravado just completely falls out, and it's like, "Wh- wh- wh-what's happening? Stop this! Stop doing this!" and I think it's so- like, you said last episode that Hastur's actor is so wonderful, but like, he really is. Hastur is so so fun. Crowley starts talking, very spitefully, very- 'cause I mean, pretty much this entire episode so far, we haven't seen Crowley do the voices, or, you know, the fun talky Crowley things because, you know, so many things are happening. She's miserable, she's cryingm she's on fire, whatever. But now, our Crowley is back, and he goes, "You know, the thing I like the best about time is that every day it takes us away from the fourteenth century. [C laughing] I really didn't like the fourteenth century." And it is soo fun. So fun, so wonderful. Hated fourteenth century so much.

C: It really is. I think the generally accepted headcanon is that's because when the Black Death happened in Europe.

G: Ah. So everybody fucking died. Yeah, that's reasonable.

C: Everyone in Europe fucking died. I feel like everyone else was doing alright?

G: Caravaggio's father, and like, pretty much every male figure in his life died when he was like, five from the Black Death, and that's why he had to move back to Caravaggio from Milan. Fun fact! [C laughs] Like, also the historian, Alexander Graham Dixon, kind of like, points out, 'cause like, you know, Caravaggio, known homosexual. No, not so known. I don't know. He's probably bisexual, I don't know. But, like, 'cause many historians prior would be like, "Oh, why is Caravaggio so fucked in the head?" And then, you know, they'll be like, "Oh, it's because he's gay." [both laugh] And like, basically Alexander Graham Dixon goes, "Probably not that. Probably because everybody in his life fucking died when he was five, so." [C laughing] Fun fact!

C: Yeah, that sounds about right.

G: Yeah, hated the fucking fourteenth century. And he's like, just talking up people. He's like, "Ah, people are so clever. They invented cars. They didn't have cars in the fourteenth century." [C laughs] And then, like, beside him, Hastur is just freaking the fuck out because they are now in the fire, like, Crowley is just driving right into the M25,

C: Well, "I'm in Love with My Car" starts playing.

G: Oh, yeah. And [both] Hastur discorporates. But Crowley? Going strong. Going strong, baby. And the explanation given here is that Crowley is currently imagining the car to be just fine and fully functional, despite all the burning everything. And yeah. So, power of the mind, baby! Power of the positive thinking. [both laugh]

C: Yeah. He says, "You are my car. I've had you from new. You are not going to burn." Which is so- I think people have paralleled Aziraphale having his body for 6000 years with Crowley having the Bentley from scratch. And yeah. It's fun. It's fun stuff.

G: I mean, also, you know, we talked extensively in Ep 2 about the plants and stuff, but like, this, pretty- like, it makes sense. This, how Crowley talks to the cars, how he talks to plants, like, good for him.

C: Good for him. Oh, also, like, you know, the eyes. Like, when Hastur first appears, they're like, you know, circle of yellow and white around, and now they're completely yellow again.

G: Yeah, covering the entire eye socket.

C: Yeah, the idea is that he always has to use a little bit of effort to like, keep the yellow within like, a circle iris, and then when he's focusing on other things, it just goes full yellow mode or?

G: You know what? I'm gonna look up "snake eyes how does it work." Maybe it's just, what do you call it when, you know, your eyes do the expanding thing to get more like-

C: Dilating?

G: Yes, maybe it's just doing that.

C: And that includes the iris changing.?

G: No, that's why I'm Googling "how do snake eyes work." Are you sure not a single person has done this analysis?

C: Probably. I just don't remember.

G: I don't think it works like that. Don't think it works like that. It's just a fun visual to have.

C: Yeah, and it makes him look more stressed or whatever.

G: Also, you know what? I was looking at my cat Sumo the other day, and Sumo has pretty much the same color eyes as Crowley, and now, every time I looked at Crowley's eyes, I'm like, "Oh my god! Just like my cat Sumo!"

C: Literally.

G: I think Crowley may well be a cat named Sumo. [C laughs]

C: So we cut to outside, the other end of the M25, and there's like, traffic cops, traffic people, something, there. And they're like, "Nothing's gonna make it through!" and then the Bentley comes charging through the ring of fire, and Crowley zooms past them and waves!

G: Looks ecstatic, too.

C: Yeah, yeah. Having a great time.

G: I mean, it's just so fun to see Crowley from here on out this episode because since Episode 3, I suppose, Crowley has kind of lost a bit of the, you know, cool swagger that she usually possesses, due to all the stress that is on her shoulders. But now, I feel like, I don't know, he's realizing that like, "Maybe it will work out!" or like, just putting his mind into it as like, "Well, it better!" like, how he thinks of the car as like, "You will not fail me." and now she's also thinking like, "This world will not fail me." And that, you know, fun, cool swagger is back, and I enjoy it so much.

C: Yeah. And also, didn't- she said before driving into the fire, "If you're gonna go, go with style." So I think that's part of it too.

G: Yeah! Maybe so.

C: "Well, and even if it doesn't work out, at least I'll look hot as hell doing it."

C: We've returned to Adam, and the Them. He's starting to feel a little bad about taking away their voices, but he still like, shoots up really high into the air above all the trees and shouts for the Four Horsemen to come to him. He tells all his friends that they're gonna have a great time because he's gonna let them rule the world, and he divides up the continents between all of them, and he does so so that everyone else gets all of the world. Pepper, who's had her voice returned her, goes quite scathingly, "But what about you, Adam? What bit are you going to have?" And he says like, "Well, I'll just be here. Same as always. And I don't want to go anywhere else." But the kids are like, "Well, this is also our Hogback Wood, and we don't want to go anywhere." And Adam starts pressing them more. Pepper goes like, "Oh, like, if we don't do what you say, like, where are you going to do? Like, we already are frozen here. We can't leave." And Wensley goes, "Actually, he could kill us." Adam reacts to this in a bit of like, a "Huh? What?" way but like, it's not enough yet. And he goes, "Okay, you know, I've unfrozen you. You can go wherever you want. You can talk. Go ahead, whatever. I don't care." All the kids leave, and Dog leaves with them. Adam starts floating after them, and they keep telling him like, "Hey, go away. Like, we're not your friends anymore. We don't like you." The voices are trying to tell him to let them go and that it doesn't matter, but no, he continues chasing them. He's very angry because he wants Dog back. Pepper goes, you know, "He's not your dog. He's his own dog, and I don't think he likes you anymore." Wensley says the first sentence the character's ever said without "actually" preceding it, which is, "You're really scary, and you aren't our friend." Which, good for him.

G: Wait, what do you mean the the first- what?

C: Haven't you noticed Wensley's, like, verbal tic is that he says "actually" in all of his sentences.

G: Ah. I didn't notice.

C: Like, when all of them are going, he's the one who goes like, "Actually, yes. I'm like, leaving also." So this is like, the first time that he hasn't done it. Brian gets to make a good point that "Oh, you're just gonna destroy the entire world because some adults fucked it up? Like, that's a reason to fix it, not destroy it." The power of rejection saves the day.

G: Yeah. I mean, here's the thing. I said Episode 1, right, like, power of friendship- or episode whatever- "power of friendship will save the day." But really it's- I mean, when I was thinking that, I was thinking, "Oh, Adam's friends and family and whatnot will love him so much."

C: "Oh, we love you. We accept you."

G: "Please be not a bad person." Not "We accept you," but, like, you know, "We know you're better than this" or whatever. But like, really, it's them being like, "Well, you're horrible for this!" [C laughs] and Adam- it's not that they love Adam so much that Adam decides to be better. It's that Adam loves them so much he decides to be better, which I quite like! I guess.

C: Yeah. I agree. It's more interesting than the other way around.

G: Yeah, I like the line when they're going, "We aren't your friends anymore," and Adam goes like, "I don't care!" Like, when they go, "We don't like you," Adam goes, "I don't care," being like, "Well, I mean, you could still not like and still be here," which I thought was so extremely funny. Go Adam. But yeah. Power of rejection saves the day.

C: Slay. Yeah. So he flies into the sky and let's out a really loud [G laughs] scream that- I don't think it works as well as it should, but, you know, whatever.

G: It was kind of goofy.

C: Yeah, there's a whole- there's a bunch of flashes of scenes from his life in the background, and it ends with his mom, saying hi to him when he first appeared in the convent. And then he passes out. He falls down. He passes out on the ground. He looks very normal again.

G: Speaking normally, etc.

C: Yeah. And he wakes up. And I think it's very fun that Brian has a cricket bat, like, raised, ready to knock him out again. But Adam goes, "I- sorry. I don't think I was thinking straight. But I am now." He goes like, "I don't know what I've started exactly, but we have to stop it. We have to- Yeah." And they head back into the village, and he tells them to get their bicycles, meet back here in five minutes. And then, ugh, this part's fucking annoying. Like, they ask Adam like, "Where are we going? Where are we going?" And he just like, walks straight ahead, not looking at them like, [dramatically] "The end of the world. It's not far." Like, first off, trailer line. Trailer line. Secondly, like, what you need to be doing right now is reestablishing like, trust with your friends, and that means you don't say ominous trailer line shit when they ask to be included in your plans.

G: Yeah. I also quite like that Dog hates him too.

C: Oh, yeah. [laughs] He hates his ass.

G: The fucking hellhound was like, "It's too much, you guys." [laughs] And I respect that.

C: There's a line in the book where the hellhound's thinking about returning to Hell and how like, he's gonna miss out on all these fun smells and stuff on Earth, and then it says, "And there were no bitches in Hell either." [both laughing]

G: No bitches.

C: Crazy thing to say. But I mean, I suppose there aren't.

G: Shall we talk about here about like, what you were trying to talk about last episode of what is the political whatever whatever of Adam?

C: Yeah, sure.

G: You know, the thesis statement is really what Brian said of like, just because some people have fucked things up does not mean that you have to destroy it. It just means you have to work on fixing it. does that correlate with what you were saying last episode of "Why is it conspiracy theories?" I don't know.

C: Yeah, shouldn't it be like, the truth that makes him upest.

G: Yeah, this episode feels so far removed from last episode. Don't you feel?

C: Yeah, it does.

G: Like, whatever they were trying to do with Adam feel so different from here and now.

C: It's confusing!

G: I think maybe it's just not written well. [laughs] Have we considered?

C: I think maybe it's not written well. Had 30 years to revise it and still wasn't written that well, this part.

G: So from here on out, we're going to divide the scenes into like, how each party gets to Tadfield. So first the first party to get to Tadfield is the Horsemen. So, you know, we see them riding their bikes, and they end up in Tadfield, and they meet RP Tyler who they asked for directions to the air base, and, you know, they say like, "Oh, the sign must have been blown off, or whatnot." And RP Typer upon - also, why are we supposed to know RP Tyler's name? I think I've seen this guy before talking to Anathema?

C: He introduces himself as neighborhood watch to Anathema last episode or the episode before that.

G: Like, why do you know? Why do you care?

C: Oh, why do I care? Me, specifically?

G: Book? Yeah, yeah.

C: Oh, yeah. I guess he talks a bit more in the book. But he has a name. So I know it.

G: Yeah, I suppose so. Well, you know, they just ask, and it's like a funny bit where RP Tyler sees all these, you know, all these people, and just starts talking like a normal, you know, villager who's like, "Oh, it's this way and that way. Go there, but don't go too far," and stuff like, that, and Famine does a joke of like, "Oh, I don't think I got all that," but Death, who's very serious, just says, "I got it!" and then proceeds. And then, you know, they arrive at the airbase, and there's a soldier over there, and the soldier will meet every single one of these characters. They decide that to get inside they will pretend to be American officers or whatnot. So they get there, they show their ID, and they are let into the air base. Once they get there, we figure out that what they're trying to do is turn on all of the fucking nuclear warheads all over the world.

C: It's very confusing the way it's narrated. God literally says the sentence, "They are taking control of the electricity. [both] All of it." Okay? It's not the electricity that changes what happens on the computer. Like, that's the computer's internal architecture Like, the power source does not do anything.

G: While this was happening, we see all of the light in the world turn off, so like, they're taking control of the electricity of the world-

C: But they're also doing a completely unrelated thing?

G: Yeah.

C: Cool.

G: Yeah. And, you know, when they get into the computer room, there's a bunch of soldiers there, and a guy like, asks for a screwdriver. Death gives the guy a screwdriver, and then, like, they notice that, "Oh, what the fuck are these weird people here?" and then everybody collapses to the ground, which is a parallel to something that happens later with Adam. They have like, conversations about like, how War is like, "Oh, the world will be at war." [C laughs] And then, you know, Pollution was like, "Not only like, war war, but also like, chemical warfare," whatever. And then Famine’s like, “And people will also be hungry.” [C laughing] So stupid!

C: The stupidest line, I think, is when he goes, “No more chickens.”

G: Yeah, like, okay! Whatever. And then we have all over the world like, I think what they show is the US and Russia, right? Specifically? All of their nuclear weapons being turned on, activated, and about to shoot out and kill everyone and everyone else.

C: The next people to get there are Anewthema. So basically, Newt says, "If we just pick a random prophecy, it should help us find where to go." And the one that they pick out says something about like, "a place where the metal bird lands no more" or whatever the fuck. and they realize that it has to be at Tadfield Airbase, and that the communication stuff in there can be used for evil. Yeah. Also, I guess at this point I looked up like, US military bases overseas, 'cause I know there were some in the Philippines, and I know from here that there are some in the UK, but apparently, there's 85 countries that contain US military bases outside of the US. There's only 20 countries in the whole Wikipedia page that have foreign military bases- or like, have military bases located overseas, and, like, the US has them in 85 countries. The one with the second most countries to that is the UK with 32. So like, the US really, really loves having military bases in other countries.

They drive over to the air base and they circle around behind it. Newt's freaking out about how he's going to get shot, jailed, and waterboarded by the soldiers there. And the prophecy that leads them forward says, "Behind the eagle's nest, a great ash hath fallen," and yeah, an ash tree fell over and like, knocked out part of the fence. So they get in through there. In the book, they still did run across a few guards, but, you know, I'm glad that they didn't here 'cause, okay, the two places where they run across guards- First one, they run into one that, like, Anathema knows because she like, met him at the pub or something earlier, and it goes, "A guard was sitting on it, smoking a cigarette. He was black. Newt always felt guilty in the presence of black Americans in case they blamed him for 200 years of slave trading." And then the other thing that happens with a different guard is that Newt tries to use his witchfinder ID to try to get in, to be like, "I'm part of an army." And remember how, when Anathema saw his ID earlier, she was like, "Oh, it says that you should be able to get all the dry kindling that you ask for." So the point that was to set up a joke with the other definition of the word "faggot."

G: [laughing] Oh my god.

C: It goes, "Finally, the guard's probing intellect found a word he thought he recognized. 'What's this here?' he said suspiciously, 'About us got to give you faggots?' 'Oh, we have to have them,' said Newt. 'We burn them.' 'Say what?' 'We burn them.' The guard's face broadened into a grin. [G laughing] And they told him England was soft. 'Right on!' he said." [screams]

G: Okay. [laughing] What is this?

C: Yeah. Yeah.

G: Well, I mean, it is British. It is British. So I don't know.

C: No, I mean, the British use is like, for cigarettes. Like, I think the joke is just that the Witchfinders Army is so old that it uses outdated language about dry kindling. But I just- you can't- You can't keep doing this in your book, Neil Gaiman and then refusing to let anyone be actually gay! Except for, I guess, the daughter or granddaughter of Mrs. Ormorod who's a lesbian but that's alright these days. At least he took it out. But it was in the radio show

G: [laughs] In 2015, baby.

C: Yeah, yeah. Last time I said that "faggot" was in the radio show, they didn't have the birthday- the birthday scene. They had this scene for their honorary f-slur scene of the radio show.

And then they start heading inside. Newt says like, some dumb thing about how like, "Oh, like, good job, Dick Turpin," and Anathema's like, "You really do call your car that. I bet you're hoping one day someone's gonna ask you why!" And she steps closer, and then she does not ask him why, so at least there's that. And she starts like, moving forward with determination, and the script describes her as like, "This is like, the witchiest that she has to get." She points out the direction for them to go, and she says she knows, "Because everything in my life, everything Agnes wrote down on that book 400 years ago. Everything is all leading me here. Now. With you. I know." I'm not really clear where they're going with Anathema and fate in this episode, but I guess it's mostly just for plot.

G: I don't think they will be focusing on Anathema a lot next episode. I hope they do a little bit. I a little bit doubt it, but I don't know. I guess I'll wait next episode to figure out what the hell they're trying to do with her and fate.

C: Yeah.

G: Well, the next party to arrive is Aziraphale who is, you know, in Madame Tracy and Shadwell. And the way they do this is they ride a motorcycle that is so slow it's unreal,

and, you know, Aziraphale's like, "Hey, can we get this on a little faster?" And, you know, Madame Tracy is like, "Only a miracle will get us to ten miles per hour!" or whatever. And Aziraphale's like, "Oh, yes! A miracle." So basically, he miracles them to fly to the air base.

C: Yeah. But he still uses his turn signal.

G: Yeah, so cute.

C: Yeah, he needs to pull into the driveway of his and Crowley's Southwestern ranch-style house on a new Kawasaki. [G exclaims] Did I take your joke?

G: I mean, you didn't take my joke because I wasn't gonna mention it because, you know, it's a different vibe, and I was like, "I do sincerely believe that he should, very much so, roar into the driveway of their Southwestern ranch-style house in a new Kawasaki, [overlapping] all yellow and background, fresh out of the showroom!" [both] Yeah.

C: When you were first discussing this song for them, and you were like, "And then Crowley's on the Kawasaki," and I'm like, "No, I think it would be Aziraphale." And you were like, "Really? But I feel- Wouldn't he be too scared? 'Cause it'd go too fast?"

G: Yeah 'cause I said- I told you, Crystal, like, "Oh, but Aziraphale's gonna be a bit scared to ride a motorcycle, do you think?" And you were like, "Well, he can miraculously elevate it a little bit." [C laughs] And I was like, "Okay, I'll take it. Aziraphale will roar into the driveway of their Southwestern ranch-style house on a new Kawasaki, all yellow and black, fresh out of the showroom." Also, I just love that fucking visual of the second verse of that song on them so bad.

C: Which part? The warm desert air part?

G: The "I hop on back of the bike, wrap my arms around you, and I sank my face into your hair, and then I inhaled as deeply as I possibly could take, and you were sweet and delicious, like the warm desert air"! God, is anybody else longing for, dot dot dot?

C: [laughs] Sure, man.

G: Watching- honestly, like, recently, watching Good Omens, watching Much Ado About Nothing- I watched When Harry Met Sally earlier today-

C: You rewatched it, yeah.

G: I don't know. It's ruining my life a little bit.

C: It really does give you unrealistic expectations about love. [G laughs]

G: Yes. Well, anyway, they arrive there, and then, you know, the guard won't let them in, and then we'll get to what happens next when Crystal talks about how Crowley gets there.

C: Yeah. So we have Crowley and he comes in on “We Will Rock You” by Queen. Her car's on fire, and RP Tyler is there, and Crowley is like, "Hey, can I- How's it goin'? Can I get some directions? 'Cause I think maybe a signpost blew down or something."

G: I have a question. Aside from Mary Loquacious, who does know who Crowley is, have we ever seen Crowley speak to a human being?

C: Well, he talked to the bartender earlier?

G: Not really. This is the first time he has an actual conversation with a human being, right?

C: Maybe.

G: Yeah. Have we seen Aziraphale? Well, with Madame Tracy, I suppose, and Shadwell.

C: Oh, well, Crowley has a conversation with Shadwell. He has a conversation with all those people in Soho.

G: Oh yeah! Huh. I don't know. I was just wondering, because, like, I feel like, in this scene, he is so polite. So polite.

C: Oh, yes.

G: I'd see him on the street. He'd ask me, "Hey, do you know where the thing is?" And I would be so charmed by this polite young man [C laughing] who is 40 or 50 years old. You know?

C: No, absolutely.

G: I don't know. So wonderful.

C: Yeah, no. He goes, "Excuse me. Sorry to bother you."

G: Yeah! And his car is on fire.

C: He is burning, his eyes are snake eyes, and he's like, "I've gotten a little bit lost. Do you know where Tadfield Airbase is?" They do like, a freeze frame humor moment where it's like, RP Tyler just wants to yell, "Your car is on fire," but he can't, because it'd be awkward, because obviously Crowley knows, so gives her directions. And it keeps going back and forth about how much he just wants to say, "Your car is on fire." And Crowley goes like, “Right. Got it. Terrific.” which is so cute, and starts heading out. RP Tyler goes, "Young man?" And Crowley goes, “Yes.” and then backs off and goes, "Very unusual weather for the time of year." Crowley goes, "I'm afraid I hadn't noticed." And then, finally, RP Tyler yells after him, "That's probably because your stupid car is on fire!" Ah. Crowley's so cute. Crowley's so so so so cute.

G: I am of the belief that they will be talking to more humans next season due to the lesbian fanfiction. The shipper lesbians.

C: I hate Neil Gaiman. I hate, hate, hate Neil Gaiman.

Basically, at the air base, did you already talk about how the guard wouldn't let Madame Tracy and Shadwell in? The guard isn't letting them in. Aziraphale and Madame Tracy are interrupting each other like, and not helping. And then the Bentley pulls around the corner, on fire. [G screams] "Bohemian Rhapsody" is blaring, and it's the "So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye" part, and Crowley comes out and goes, "You wouldn't get that sort of performance out of a modern car." She is a bit more of a loser failgirl in the script. She's supposed to fall down when she gets out and then have to get up again. But here, he's just like, cool. Aziraphale's voice is sort of shaky/hopeful/happy when he goes like, "Crowley?" And Crowley goes, “Hey, Aziraphale. I see you found a ride. Nice dress. Suits you.” [G screams] And Aziraphale's quite flattered. He does like a "Ah!" I couldn't tell if it was Aziraphale voice or Madame Tracy voice? I think it was Aziraphale voice.

G: No, it was Aziraphale voice, yeah.

C: God bless! Aziraphale goes, "This young man won't let us in."

G: And then Crowley just, like, super cool swag guy, just like, turns and goes, "Leave it to me." [C laughs] And then they go to the guard and goes, "Army human." [both laughing] "Army human, my friend and I have come a long way," and then, you know. Adam and the Them show up. We like, skipped a scene with Adam and friends where they like, are talking to RP Tyler, too. It doesn't matter. But, you know, it happens.

C: Yeah. The whole, "Oh, we're going to the air base, if that's all right with you. We wouldn't go to the air base if it wasn't all right with you." Just them snarking off at him, 'cause he's being annoying. They get the gate open through the power of Adam's mind and ride in with their bikes. Speaking of bikes, did you notice that Adam has a bike with a basket and he has put Dog inside the basket.

G: Yeah, Dog. Dog's in it. Yeah!

C: Yeah, which is very cute. And then we see Pepper’s bike, and it doesn't have a basket. And you recall in Episode 1 when she was complaining about how she got a bike, and it was a girl's bike with a basket, and she hated it. So I guess the implication is that they swapped bikes, which is nice.

G: Ooh! Yeah. That's sweet! I like that.

G: Adam is now inside the base, and they're just- all four of them are just standing in front of the building where the- what's that? Where the grownups - where the Horsemen are. And like, there's some choice imagery with the bikes and the parking where it's like, "Oh, they parked like, the same way the Horsemen parked," and all that, and it's, you know, it's like, "Horsemen are on motorbikes, and they're on bike bikes." There's, you know, Adam's there, and they're all looking up at the thing, and Pepper asks, like, "Do you know these people? Are they grownups?" And Adam just goes, "Yeah, they're grownups," which I find- I don't know. I like that question. "Are they grownups?" And they are. So suddenly, a bunch of military personnel come out and are like, pointing guns at these kids and asking them what the hell they're thinking, this is military property. And Adam just goes, “I think you all need to go to sleep now.” They all collapse on the floor, which, as I've said earlier, is a parallel to the whole Death making everyone die. Adam shouts, “I'm here!” and the Horsemen, you know, go, “Oh, he's here! Everything ends now. Time is over.”

C: Yup. And that's episode.

G: That's the end of the episode.

G: When it ended, I felt the same way I felt when I watched- what is it? Across the Spider-Verse? 'Cause like, for some reason, I didn't realize that it wasn't gonna start this episode. I was like, "It's just gonna keep on going. And then the Apocalypse is gonna happen." And then I was like, "Oh no! I have to wait a week!" So horrible.

C: Yeah. Yeah. But as soon as we hang up, you can watch it.

G: Yes, we can. I can. Is it gonna be horrible? I don't think it's gonna be horrible. I don't think it would have made you feel, you know, the feelings that you felt if it was horrible.

C: I would say, there was not gonna be a Season 2, so it concludes as its own story.

G: It wraps up. My god. I'm looking at the episode list right now, like, I can click on it right now, and it will start. But alas! I am, instead, staring at Michael Sheen and David Tennant's face on the poster.

C: Yeah. Alright. What'd you think about this episode?

G: Boring! Except when it's not.

C: Yeah. Boring. I called it a nothing episode, and it sort of is.

G: It well may be.

C: It well may be. Are we doing gayest moment?

G: We're gonna go gayest moment?

C: Sure. Gayest moment?

G: I don't know.

C: The whole pop scene did happen.

G: Yeah, I guess so. I think maybe- I mean, the music cue of "Somebody to Love."

C: Oh, yes.

G: It is. It is. It's the corniest, tackiest, gayest thing to happen this episode. [C laughs]

C: Sure is. I think I really like the music cue when Crowley got hit with that hose. Yeah, I feel like it is very clearly the like, "All is lost" blah blah blah sort of thing. And it's 'cause they're in wuv.

G: Yeah. Most transgender moment. It's weird, because Aziraphale possesses a woman this episode-

C: And it's not trans at all. Not at all, yeah. Zero.

G: - but I don't feel like that is. [laughs] "Trans in the Tumblr sense." Jesus Christ.

C: [laughing] Shut up!

G: You know what? The M25 was transgender in the Tumblr sense. [C laughing]

C: It transformed from being not on fire to on fire. [both laughing]

G: The M25 was transgender for not being the Odegra in the first draft, [C laughing] and then being the Odegra when it was finally built.

C: Literally. I think Crowley was very trans for driving across the M25 while on fire and holding everything together with the power of his imagination. I don't have a reason. I just think it was really trans of him.

G: Yeah. I think Crowley going, "Leave it to me" was very transgender, too.

C: Real.

G: Predictions!

C: Yeah, the last shot you have. Any new ones? Any ones you want to take back or revise?

G: No, I still want Aziraphale to shoot that kid so bad.

C: With a brick, even

G: With a brick! Yeah. In the in the page where I watch- [laughs] In the completely legal site where I watch Good Omens, there's a cast list, and the cast list goes like this: “Michael Sheen, David Tennant, John Hamm, Michael McKean, Benedict Cumberbatch.”

C: Why is he that high up?

G: I don't know. I don't know who Michael McKean is.

C: Oh, he played Shadwell.

G: I know the first three, and then Michael Mckean. And then I was like, "Benedict Cumberbatch. What role does he play?" And I asked Crystal this, and Crystal just goes, "Uh, he doesn't show up yet." And I was like, "Is he gonna be Satan?" And Crystal goes, "Uhh," [C laughs] so yeah, I think Benedict Cumberbatch is gonna be Satan so bad it's unreal. That's my only prediction.

C: Yeah.

G: Well, I guess also that Satan will show up. Which, I mean, yeah. What else can I predict? I don't know. They're gonna be- I mean, it's gonna end with a- What's the bird that you keep on fucking talking about?

C: The nightingale.

G: The nightingale. It's gonna end with a scene where there are nightingales singing or whatever, which I assume is a good memory, because Crowley brings it up [C hissing] when they have divorce, so.

C: Yeah. Well. Great.

G: [laughs] Those are my predictions.

C: Personal rating? 6 out of 10. 5.5? 6?

G: 7.

C: 5.5? Don't know.

G: I'll go with 6. I'll go with 6.

C: Yeah, I mean- no, I need to leave the 5s and under for for Season 2. 6!

C: That’s it for this week’s episode of Rubbish and Probably a Podcast. Next time, we will be talking about Season 1, Episode 6: "The First Day of the Rest of Their Lives"? Did I get that one?

G: No, it's "The Very Last Day."

C: Sorry, "The Very Last Day of the Rest of Their Lives."

G: Which is an interesting title.

C: Yeah.

C: Leave us a rating or a review wherever you get your podcasts.

G: Follow us on social media! We interact through the accounts set up for our Supernatural commentary podcast, Busty Asian Beauties. So catch us on Tumblr. We are at bustyasianbeautiespod.tumblr.com and email us at [email protected]. I would like to say that we have been receiving quite a lot of asks and emails and stuff-

C: It makes me very happy.

G: - and it's so wonderful. Makes us so happy. Thank you so much for listening to us and for interacting with us on our social medias.

C: Yeah. And thanks to everyone who’s donated to our Ko-Fi at ko-fi.com/bustyasianbeautiespod! See you guys next time! Bye!

G: Bye!

[theme song]

G: Wait, I'm going to finish this congee that I'm eating.

C: Slay.

G: You know, this congee has century egg.

C: Oh hell yeah! Wait, does it also have like, pork in it?

G: No, mushrooms. Mushrooms and century egg.

C: Okay. Good combo.

G: Century egg is so wonderful. I watched a video once of like, American guys, like white guys, eating it, and they were like, “Eugh!” And I was like, “You will never understand the bond between me and century eggs!” [C laughing]

C: For fucking real.

[beep]

C: They let him be Scottish! [G laughing] It's a rare treat.

G: Like, your only two choices are Much Ado About Nothing (2011), or Ducktales. [C laughing] What other pieces of media is David Tennant Scottish in.

C: I think he's Scottish in Broadchurch.

G: Broadchurch. I've been meaning to watch it, but probably not.

C: Eh. I mean, it is a cop show.

G: Is that it?

C: Oh, I mean, I've not touched the majority of his repertoire, so I wouldn't know.

G: Yeah, that's true. Scrolling through the David Tennant IMDb or whatnot, the thing that I found most fascinating is that he's in the Adele Night to Remember movie concert-

C: Yes! As an audience member.

G: [both laughing] As an audience member of the Adele concert, and I love it so so much.

C: Well, maybe he’s Scottish in the Love’s Labour’s Lost that’s in a fucking archive in London, and one day I will go there, and I will take it for the world to be able to see.

G: You guys will not believe the amount of like, me asking people to email libraries [both laughing] to get specific archived David Tennant footages of plays.

C: And the David Tennant Romeo & Juliet. Please! If anyone-

G: Can you just fucking give it to us, you guys?

C: If anyone's an employee of- I forgot the library.

G: The British something something library.

C: But whatever archive holds everything that the Royal Shakespeare Company films like, for, their own personal keeping. If you just wanna leak that over my way, [G laughs] I'm- I'm here.

G: If you want to send it to us through email at [email protected], we would be very happy.

C: Yeah! Yeah. Just a thought.

#transcript #rubbishpod

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survivor-marieta-islands · 7 months

Text

Episode 6: "SHIVER ME TIMBERS, IT'S A MUTINY BABYYY"—Trinica

Sin Sazonar 2.0

Trinica

Okay we won the challenge blah blah amazing. Colin/Raffy/Jinx survived tribal, whatever, cool. But SHIVER ME TIMBERS, IT'S A MUTINY BABYYY

and it completely backfired. I mutinied with a QUICKNESS because I wanted to be separated from Tanner (because I don't want to be on a tribe of 5 with someone who tends not to perform as well at challenges), Clefford (because we haven't spoken game and he's closer to AJ and Hairie than me), and AJ (because...idk I feel like I'm more inclined to work with others over her and if we were separated it would help me feel less guilty and also be able to play the middle longer).

SO GUESS WHO I END UP WITH. Tanner, AJ, and Clefford. And Hairie, which is good!! But I am so scared because there is no way Hairie doesn't IMMEDIATELY target AJ, and AJ has an idol. Which could potentially send Hairie home. Unless I can get her to vote Tanner or Clefford? Idk. There are moves to be made but I fear the middle isn't a spot I'll be acquainted with for long.

Clefford

Old people underestimated us so much that they got comfortable with the challenges that led them to consecutive tribal councils.

I'm proud of what YOUNG players can bring to this season. We're strategic, social butterfly, and have the capacity to face everything that will be thrown to us.

Unfortunately, swap came. Perfect timing to eliminate one of us. Thanks to Jay. Those people from my OG tribe is now on the minority namely: Adeline, Shawn, Brandi, and Arvin. I wish them the best and hopefully survive.

I'm still with AJ, Hairie, Tanner, and Trinica. I'm actually thankful, because I know that they're good in the challenges that will keep me safe.

This is so new to me. I don't really have an alliance so far. Compare to my first game back in the Racoon City that on Day 1 I already formed an alliance with MJ and Zukiswa. Our trio dominated the game that season. Now, I'm just taking my time to really assess everyone to what I am to them and hopefully find a common denominator to really align.

Wait for me, but first hopefully survive. This is Survivor after all.

Sooooooooooo. I’m a little bit baffled at everything that went down. I woke up this morning very confused and despite knowing what happened now I’m still kind of like, well that was sudden. Now AJ, I hear you wondering, what are your thoughts and feelings about this?

In short, I’m a bit upset.

I feel like I missed out. I feel like I’m the only one who didn’t get a choice in that matter. And like it’s not just because I was being inactive or I went to sleep early knowing something was happening last night - because I was planning to stay up late tonight after tribal since I thought tribal was going to be tonight (and I knew something was happening after tribal). So I had no way of knowing, and no way of doing anything about it, and no way to make a choice. But I also feel like since it’s really just me who wasn’t online, there’s nothing that can be done about it. Because everyone else is most likely fine with the way things shook out - or at least had a bit of a say in it. So it just kind of sucks on that level.

If I had gotten a choice, this tribe makeup would NOT have been it. This is probably one of the worst layouts of a tribe I could have possibly ended up on. Why? Because it’s very much me on the chopping block if we end up going to a tribal council. Hairie and Clefford will work together, Trinica will probably work with me, and Tanner is the middle vote - though he’ll maybe be more willing to vote with Hairie. Which means I go home. Unless I use my idol. Which I REALLY did not want to use yet.

Also how do I know I’d be on the chopping block? Hairie. Boy is in my DMs trying to guilt me about being in a 4 person alliance chat and not telling him about it. (why would I tell you about every alliance I’m in? that is not how you play this game.) Apparently two unnamed people who got swapped out, which means Brandi and Shawn, or maybe just Brandi idk, told him that the 4 person chat existed before they left. They also said it was my idea. Which it wasn’t entirely. I asked Shawn if they’d think a GC would be a good idea and they were like yeah I was just about to bring that up. And then they were working so I asked people if they were interested. But I made sure to mention Shawn each time.

So yeah Hairie entered my DMs trying to ‘clear the air’ (guilt trip me about an alliance/imply I’m on the bottom of this tribe), and then turned around and wants me to vote for him to get this reward? You’re gonna make me feel even worse about everything and then expect me to give you a reward for it?

This just sucks so much because I really went into this game and have stayed in the mindset of wanting to actually work and play together with Hairie - but he seems to think that anything he learns that I didn’t tell him means I’m actively working against him. Like, if I have to tell him every little detail of my game in order to be in an alliance with him then it isn’t really worth it to work with him. So that’s another level of how this sucks.

Also I was really really excited to potentially meet some players from Antigua, or maybe see and chat with Jinx again (it’s been so long and I miss them), or Raffy, or Colin or any of the cool people who I know nothing about over there. That's what I was most looking forward to in a swap. That and getting away from the drama that happened in Round 1. But like, that didn’t happen.

TL:DR; I’m a bit upset because I’m in a terrible position on this tribe, and that could have been different if the swap happened when I thought it was going to happen (tonight) - which I already planned to stay awake for - instead of being a surprise instant and live tribal last night. Not doing too hot gang. Wish me luck.

Trinica

A 48-hr creative challenge while I'm on a tribe with only 2 members in a close timezone and everyone else being 6-14 hours ahead is my personal hell. The one person in my timezone (Tanner) barely responds to messages but says he wants to act, which requires him to be on the same page as everyone else. AJ is busy all day but at least is getting her clips done. Hairie and Clefford are just so far ahead that we only have a few overlapping hours (and I think they're at work so it's not like they can be online and responding all the times that I'm online anyway). The tribe is so quiet. Is this going to get done? Is it going to look good? YOUR GUESS IS AS GOOD AS MINE

There was a brief brief moment last night, in the height of my frustration when it took us hours to decide on an idea even though we had an idea very early on in the evening...where I considered throwing it. I don't have it in me, though. But if we lose, I won't be that upset. Hopefully we could send home someone less active like Tanner, maybe AJ would play her idol and send home someone I talk to less like Clefford, etc etc. Hopefully it wouldn't fall on me if we lost. But at this point I've taken over so much of the control of this project (or at least the organization) that I could be an easy scapegoat. Especially since I've performed well in challenges so far and we're nearing a merge. IDK WE'LL SEEEEEE

Clefford

The challenge was really fun. It was made for us to really get together and bond. Making the music video, which was AJ's idea by the way, was brilliant. Trinica led the challenge and make things organised. Hairie was the one who edited the video and it was great!

We did amazing on making the music video and got the highest score on the challenge. I also wanna commend Elegida's children book. They're smart and it was good.

We've been winning challenges conservatively, that's why we've become so comfortable. Trinica, Hairie, and I decided to make a trio. I think it's good, because at this point of the game that's what I need, an alliance.

Hopefully I reach merge and get to play again finally.

Trinica

Oh man, thank goodness for challenge advantages! After reviewing the other tribes' projects, I don't think the scoring of ours was PARTICULARLY fair (I would have rated ours above the picture book, even or below the song). I did expect to be docked on creativity, I did mention that as a con to this idea, BUT at the end of the day we put together an amazing video and I'm super proud of it (and the supplemental materials)!

Anyway. Shawn and Adeline are in danger, which sucks. I'm hoping Colin WASN'T working with Zo and Maddison and Shawn/Del can pull them in. But if one of them has to go home, sorry Shawn, I hope it's them. They're too likable!

Hairie

The round started as mutiny which me and Trinica wanted. We managed to get others on our tribe to mutiny but we were late. There were so many people that wanted to mutiny and the first 5 got to be on the same tribe. The rest were randomised. and guess what?! Sin Sazonar and our tribe was completely old tribemates.

The upcoming challenge was a creative comp which thank god we had the 20% ADV which helped and we won YET AGAIN! I'm loving this era of being safe from tribal hahah.

Me and Trinica found the idol at the resort with our purchase and we're ready to flip shit up.

My trust rankings: 1. Trinica 2. Clefford 3. Tanner 4. AJ

Me and AJ's relationship at the moment is kinda on the fence because clearly we cannot trust each other. I mean I tried but there's just something amiss about it.

Trinica

OMG I FOUND AN IDOLLLLLLLLL

There is like a 0% chance I play this correctly simply because I'm a big target (or will be if I'm not already) and will probably get blindsided... and because Hairie KNOWS I have it, which, oof, I was on a call with him when I purchased the items. I wish I hadn't been. I can lie well, but not if I don't have time to process first. When Jay sent the idol message I literally said "OH MY GOD" and couldn't think of an appropriate way to walk that back to like "oh it's an extra vote!" lmao

If Hairie knows, I do worry that Clefford, Arvin, and/or Tanner will soon know. Which is why I never tell people about idols. Buuuut it is what it is. AND! I have a legacy idol, I don't know what it is but it's good until Final 4. I'm honestly more excited about THIS than I am about the idol because at least there's no downside to me going home with this in my pocket—I just will it to someone else. And Hairie doesn't know about this item (wish it was the other way around where he doesn't know about my idol but OH WELL)!

Elegida

Amy

okay in retrospect if it wasn't a live tribal I probably would have voted Colin out lol that's my emotions bc I spent time with Colin irl but they haven't talked to me since I voted Ellie 😀 but then I still saved them over JG who I had like legit convos with daily. 🤠 How does one play survivor, really? Don't meet these people irl they'll give you feelings in your cold, dead, aquarius heart 🖤

Raffy

So. Much. Happened. So, after the challenge, the oldies decided to do a live instant tribal council for drama. I immediately went to Jinx and Amy because I knew they will not write my name down even if we vote opposite ways. I explained that the only real choices would be between Colin and JG. And I was straight up and said I was leaning JG. Amy didn’t want to vote for Colin because she somehow trusts and wants to work with Colin still even if everything she’s done up to that point proved otherwise? In any case, she was just concerned about the numbers. Our saving Grace though was Colin’s deep connection with Zo. Apparently, they grew really close which meant that Zo didn’t want to vote for Colin either. So Colin was able to successfully push JG and we sent JG to the VL in a 4-3 vote. While my confessional was iconic, I must admit that JG was tough in this game to get rid of. He definitely insulated himself well on this tribe. If only we could’ve won one more challenge then he would have been able to skate through to the merge unscathed. In any case, there was a wrench when Colin tried to switch the vote to Jinx, but I told him to vote JG and he did. It was the only way. 1. I can’t get rid of Jinx. 2. No one would have voted Jinx. And then the mutiny came and I knew I needed to get Jinx away from Colin and that I needed to get away so we wouldn’t be pinned as a duo and targeted within a tribe. And Amy was already inclined to go. So Amy Jinx and I all agreed to mutiny so we have majority. And there is still a majority old people when we leave. So theoretically, no matter what, we will send a new school person home and even the numbers out before merge.

Amy

Mutiny tribe iconic! I really like Brandi and she is going all in on this challenge and told us all where advantages are probably bc she would be in Danger™️ if we lose. Arvin is invisible but also I want to win and keep someone invisible and thankful around, even if he has the SEA connection. We are making a children's book and somehow I'm on illustration I really gotta start lying about liking to draw on my iPad but thank god we agreed on stick figures in a children's style lol! But I won't be sleeping bc it's still like 13 pages plus activities pages which is originally all I thought I was making. Anyway apparently I had 40 coins, Gave raffy 20 who bought some pearl necklace thing and conveniently forgot to tell me so I'm assuming he has an idol. It's funny bc I thought I had 20 otherwise I would have just gone and bought it myself 🤣 regardless it will be hilarious if he idols me out with the coins I gave him which are half eman's coins. Anyway sitting in a majority on our swap tribe and really no matter what the results are of the challenge, a new school player should go home but I've seen wilder things happen. Also I just love creative challenges so I'm excited to see our final product and excited to see the other tribe's project. Originally I was like I could print a hard cover of our book! But that's my grand idea side not the practical side that knows I'm about to stress over a deadline lol. Vibes are back up 🙌

Brandi

I told the Mutiny crowd about the DA so hopefully they will see me as trustworthy but also willing to share things I learn about the idol hunt.... so maybe they will share with me, too....

Arvin

I think I just messed up my game with the "mutiny thingy". Now I'm in the minority when it comes to tribal lines. I hope to create more bonds so that they can trust me. Amy is the only one I didn't play with before and she's so sweet. Raffy is someone I worked with during my first season, and Jinx said we should talk more this season. Brandi is in my only alliance chat in the game. I love our tribe. I think we are a strong tribe that can win challenges. Mutiny tribe ftw! Ahu! Ahu!

Raffy

I’m liking my new tribe a lot! Obviously Jinx Amy and I are going to be in control, but Brandi is here! I can definitely rekindle a relationship with her. Arvin is sweet too. It just feels like a less dramatic and tense tribe than my original. It’s a breath of fresh air and I feel like my game has been revitalized!

Arvin

Ahhhhhhh, it's my dreaded creativity challenge. So I did my part while im at the hospital. Huhu. I did voiceovers and it was very hard for me because I have tubes attached to my neck and I have a cough so I had to cut the recordings for every page. I hope Raffy could minimize the background noise since I cannot find a quite corner in the hospital. I hope I contributed enough for the immunity challenge. At the end of the day, creativity challenge is sooooo FUN. Wohooooo!

Amy

It's me spending hours doodling fully expecting to lose this challenge unless our advantages come through. 😅 But hey I haven't drawn in a while so it felt good.

Me and Brandi: spend hours putting this book together Jinx and Arvin: spend 5 minutes reading the story 🤠

Raffy

We may not have gotten the highest score, but we shared where advantage locations were to make sure they would carry us! That's probably how the new-school tribe got so many challenge advantages. That is very new-school behavior. Most people in the old days would never reveal that information.

I think Brandi wants to boot up an alliance with herself, me, and Hairie like we did in The North Sea. I wouldn't be opposed. But, I don't want to promise too many alliances so I'm not stuck in a situation like I was on my original tribe where everyone felt good about me and I'm stressed on who to vote out.

Amy

tbh I think we deserve to go to tribal but thankful for those maxed out advantages haha!

Brandi

I was so so so worried we were gonna be rated low after seeing how good all their stuff was……… I think we did a good job but also missed some music memo LOL

Antigua 2.0

Shawn

I already don't like Colin. He's really bringing nothing to the table but telling us how to do everything. Honestly, he reminds me of every other white man. I don't need a man to tell me to do all the work writing everything, and for him to make one mood board and call it a day. Thanks but yeah, no.

Okay maybe I judged Colin too quickly. I've heard about him from before the switch and didn't love the vibes I got. But maybe I have to go into this with an open mind. He did a great job with the bracelets, and I think I judged too soon. Let's hope no one makes the same mistake I did, especially not towards me.

Colin

those judges are WACK. like our submission was just SO much better. maddison created a FULLY FUNCTIONAL AND FLESHED OUT WEBSITE. adeline WROTE, RECORDED, and MADE A LYRIC VIDEO TO a completely original song for this. ALL of us contributed to fleshing out AntiQua and all of us fell in love with her. i can't believe we lost. challenge advantages honestly have fucked us over so many times.

Shawn

I'm really upset. We created an entire person, but nothing came out of it. I don't understand how we could have done anything more impressive for them to judge. But I guess we have to take their criticism and roll with it. We're going to tribal, and I don't even know who I want to vote out. I'm confused honestly, ours was so creative, that was the point wasn't it? And everyone contributed, it wasn't just the song. Idk.

Maddison

honestly LAME i’m so sick of tribal lmao pls can i just 🤨🤨🤨 not go to tribal for a second i s2g. i’m so sleepy let me circle back tmrw but for now boo this is not swag! could keep the barbie ken bit going but what if barbie and ken aren’t planning on keeping the bit going 🤔 the two new members just need one person to flip and they are on the bottom so i’m sure people are considering it? basically i don’t know how this is gonna go!

Shawn

For the first time in this game I don't really have anyone I want to vote for. Adeline and I are close, we are a team. But Zo and Maddison are useful, they're from the older tribe, they have experience. They also are good at challenges. Colin is really nice, and he's reached out to me first. I'm confused and really don't wanna vote for anyone 😭

Colin

going to tribal AGAIN is so unfortunate. like I really like this tribe. adeline and shawn honestly just fell in with us so naturally. it's unfortunate because I could see this 5 going together strong in merge.

i kinda spoke into my alliance with maddison and zo that we should keep adeline. she really vibed hard with us and I think she's here to play. it'll be important to have strong allies on the other side going into a merge, where old school will likely still have the minority.

it sucks because shawn is so cool and nice. but i think it should be an easy vote out??? maybe i'm getting blindsided idk

Adeline

Collin tells me it’s Shawn and ALSO that raffy made this whole plan to give them all majority on their respective tribes w the mutiny. i need him tf out of here whenever its an option… that brain works too well and i don’t like it one bit. And somehow while being the clearest strategic person in the entire cast, everyone wants to work with them. Danger danger danger tsk tsk tsk. Just noting for later

Shawn confirms it’s me to me, Collin says he’s telling Shawn it’s me. I shrug and do not know what to trust but.

i have Alfredo pasta so i really don’t care if i get voted out bc i need time to savor that.

Shawn says “I’m so sorry queen” i cry a single tear for them or a million tears of embarrassment for myself

#episodes

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illuminatedquill · 3 years

Text

Nevertheless, Episode 9

More Thoughts/Analysis

“So it’s true, when all is said and done, grief is the price we pay for love.”

- E.A. Bucchianeri

Jae Eon’s Self Sabotage

Chekov’s Gun is the dramatic principle that details within a story will contribute to the overall narrative. You might have heard of this before in its simplest form: if there is a gun shown in Act 1, it absolutely must go off in Act 2 or 3. In episode 9 of Nevertheless, we have this scene right at the beginning:

Yes, that scene. Park Jae Eon sees Yang Do Hyeok standing off to the side as he waits outside Na Bi’s apartment to retrieve his stuff. Na Bi doesn’t know Do Hyeok is nearby. Jae Eon makes the calculation in his head and manipulates his way inside Na Bi’s apartment, knowing exactly what it looks like to Do Hyeok. It’s petty revenge for seeing Na Bi and Do Hyeok together on campus from earlier.

This is the gun. And it backfires on Jae Eon big time. Throughout the entire episode, his acts of sincerity towards Na Bi seem genuine and heartfelt, yet his action in that one scene undermines anything he attempts. It doesn’t work; to his mounting frustration, Na Bi and Do Hyeok continue to talk and meet as if nothing happened.

(We know that’s not the case as seen from Do Hyeok’s alone time but I’ll talk about that later in this post.)

It’s a ticking time bomb and it goes off at last in the rain scene. Nothing is working for him. He is desperate not to lose Na Bi. And he goes off in a drunken rage on Na Bi after she returns home on that fateful rainy night.

And he loses her. The gun goes off. Everything sincere he did turns rotten in Na Bi’s eyes after he reveals his actions. Actions have consequences, always rippling forward and affecting change in moments not yet experienced. He ruined his chances because of his petty cruelty towards Do Hyeok in the beginning. His sincerity only extended towards Na Bi and it was only to get her attention once more.

Jae Eon lost. Not so much to Do Hyeok, as he lost to Na Bi, who cares about him deeply. He underestimated her feelings towards Do Hyeok, assuming, like so many other viewers, that he was an an irritating distraction that refused to go away.

He can’t fathom why Do Hyeok still seems to like Na Bi after seeing them enter her apartment together. Is he really that incredible a person? What makes him so special?

Well, let’s talk about it.

Do Hyeok’s Crisis Playbook

We see from Do Hyeok’s time alone after his initial visit to Seoul that he is taking it pretty hard; I can’t really blame him, considering what he saw that night. His struggle is open, honest, and raw; like Na Bi, it affects him to the point that he can’t focus on his work (anyone seem to notice that Jae Eon’s work never seems to be affected by his feelings?).

It’s jealousy and insecurity eating away at him. Just like Jae Eon. He’s also desperate not to lose Na Bi but doesn’t want to do anything untoward or overboard because he’s afraid of ruining their friendship. Once again, his consideration is for Na Bi and how she feels, but he cannot ignore what he saw and how he feels about it.

So, what is our favorite Potato Boy to do? Park Jae Eon already made his move by staging that whole scene of him and Na Bi going into her apartment together. How does Do Hyeok fight back? What’s his playbook in this time of crisis?

He doesn’t fight back. And that’s how he stays in the game. Do Hyeok is not a player like Jae Eon; there isn’t a manipulative or deceptive bone in his body. Do Hyeok does what he always does and doubles down on his sincerity, on the strength of his feelings, and his faith in Na Bi.

Do Hyeok doesn’t play the game Jae Eon tries to involve him in. He always lays it all out on the table with Na Bi so there is no room for misunderstandings. That’s one of the reasons why their relationship works so well; they talk more. Not just about feelings or romance but about school or their day to day life. What they’re building now is something that can last a lifetime.

So he talks to her about it. And admits his jealousy. She wasn’t even aware that he had seen them and yet it sounds like he’s the one who is apologizing (even though he never let his hurt feelings show in his conversations with Na Bi, DO HYEOK YOU ARE TOO GOOD). He lays himself bare to her once more. We don’t see Na Bi’s response other than her shocked and guilty expression, which is annoying because it would definitely be interesting to see how she reciprocated his frankness.

(Underrated super cute scene between them in this episode; when they meet up at night and bring drinks for each other. It’s even the exact same drink. I was grinning like a maniac.)

But Na Bi is familiar with Jae Eon’s game. And when she finds out how badly Do Hyeok was hurt by Jae Eon’s actions (and how he involved her in it) Na Bi finally is snapped to her senses and severs the thread still binding her and Jae Eon together.

Na Bi’s choice isn’t shown as a redemptive or heroic moment. It never was supposed to be. Although I’m sure a lot of us were cheering in that moment, her moments of unrestrained grief alone afterwards are the sobering reality that love, as always, comes with a price.

Nabi’s Choice (The Review)

This is a follow up to my earlier post before episode 9 came out. So, now we see what Na Bi decides and, maybe, how it will all play out in the next episode (barring any last minute twists).

First, let’s address the still ongoing criticism I see regarding Na Bi and Do Hyeok’s relationship: lack of passion, no romantic vibes, blah blah blah. I wrote at length in a previous post why that isn’t true - at least on Do Hyeok’s part (one of the reasons why we don’t get internal monologue from Do Hyeok is because what else is he thinking about other than Na Bi?).

Na Bi, on the other hand, is still ambivalent about her feelings towards Do Hyeok. Episode 9 provided more clarity for her stance towards Jae Eon - he’s the dog shit she stepped on and was promptly wiped away in the grass - but Do Hyeok is still a mystery. Yes, she’s friendly, she cares, and genuinely enjoys being with him but the spice, the passion is missing. And that is kinda important for a romantic relationship.

Well. Look no more. Na Bi has spice for Do a Hyeok and it shows not once, but twice this episode. Where’s the passion? Jae Eon fucked around and found out. Very kind of him. Turns out Na Bi, like all of us who like Do Hyeok, will not tolerate any Do Hyeok slander and I am 100 PERCENT here for it.

There’s a scene shortly before the climatic rain fight where Na Bi is having another meeting with her assistants: the junior (does he have a name? Jin-su?) and Jae Eon. The junior talks to Na Bi about her and Park Jae Eon: the usual tired gossip of whether or not they’re dating. Na Bi waves it away like dandelion fluff.

And then the junior mentions Do Hyeok. “What about the noodle shop guy? Ever since the camp meeting, people have been saying there’s a higher chance you’re dating him.”

And Na Bi just . . . we’ve never seen this from her before, even when she broke up with Jae Eon in episode 5. Her whole demeanor turns ice cold and her voice is wicked sharp as she proceeds to shut down that avenue of questioning. The junior physically leans back from the force of her anger and wonders aloud why she’s so upset (you’re talking about her love life as gossip, idiot, why do you think she’s so upset). Jae Eon walks in and doesn’t see the foreshadowing; he just hears Do Hyeok and it feeds his jealousy.

There it is, everybody. Evidence of Na Bi’s feelings for Do Hyeok and what he means to her. Her protectiveness over him and her refusal to let him be involved in the drama surrounding herself and Jae Eon. Her desire to be the better around him; not because he asks (and he would never) but because his feelings for her make her think she might be worthy of such a love.

And then there’s the rain scene. Na Bi and Jae Eon, vulnerable in the rain. Na Bi admits to her faults in the relationship, how she brought this upon herself. No, she hasn’t been nice or good this whole time; in fact, she’s been kind of terrible. But Jae Eon revealing what he did and how it was to hurt Do Hyeok wakes her up and convinces that the time has come to end this “game”. It got Do Hyeok hurt because of her inability to end it with Jae Eon and good people don’t let that happen to people they care about.

So Na Bi ends it with Jae Eon and chooses herself. At last. And to do so, she has to cut out this malignant tumor of a relationship and, God, does it hurt so much to end it, but she gets it done and takes the first step to being a better person for herself.

The cinematography in this drama is top tier and we see her situation presented so viscerally. She’s alone, in the light, but it’s not a warm, redemptive light; it has a sickly, yellow tint and is surrounded by darkness.

But she’s still there. She still made it.

One Last Observation, I Promise

Last thing I noticed from this episode that I want to talk about: the professor’s critique of Na Bi. She specifically mentions that a good artist can inspire others and Na Bi, whether she realizes it or not, actually does do that.

Na Bi helps Do Hyeok with his videos, giving advice that helps boost their popularity and making them better.

Jae Eon is inspired to make the butterfly bracelet for Na Bi and gifts it to her.

The difference between the two? Do Hyeok actually thanks Na Bi for her help and points out that it was her influence that made his videos better.

Jae Eon obviously means his gesture to be romantic and sincere but he again fails to talk about why he’s doing it. The implication is there but Na Bi needs more than some vague nonsense.

Communication is at the heart of this episode and how, without it, relationships stagnate and fail. Bit Na + Gyu Hyun and Soljiwan couple - their relationships only progress because the couples voice their concerns and fears to one another. And instead of being rejected or being hurt, it allows their partners to reassure them and move forward with their relationship.

Why do Na Bi and Jae Eon fail? They. Don’t. Talk. Na Bi is stuck inside her head and Jae Eon relies on vague gestures and sexual chemistry to express himself.

Why do Na Bi and Do Hyeok succeed? Because they talk. About everything. Their dialogue is clear and honest and sincere without any hidden meanings or motives. And you see why Na Bi is rapidly moving more and more towards Do Hyeok and not Jae Eon.

(The preview does raise some questions about how it will all end but I don’t think the show is going to pull a bait and switch and have Na Bi end up with Jae Eon. I also don’t think it’s likely they’ll have an open ending, either. I’ll talk about that in another post.)

My next post will be what I envision to be the best version of a Na Bi and Do Hyeok endgame and what I mean by that since Na Bi shouldn’t be dating anyone right now. So, look forward to that.

Until next time, everybody. Thanks for reading this long ass post. Hope you enjoyed it.

#jtbc nevertheless #nevertheless #kdrama #han so hee #chae jong hyeop #song kang #yu na bi #yang do hyeok #park jae eon

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fratboykate · 2 years

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I'm about to start Episode 5 of Hawkeye already and:

1) There is not a straight bone in Kate Bishop's body.

2) The writing on this is half a step above putridly mediocre but, then again, isn't that the whole standard for Marvel? Look, is it CW bad? No. Is it the worst dialogue I've ever heard? Also no. Is it the worst thing I've ever seen. I repeat, no. But it's fucking generic. There's nothing special about it. It's any other comic book story. Rich person, dead parent, tragic backstory, vigilantism, blah blah blah b l a h b l a h b l a h b l a h . There isn't a shred of originality here. Not in the story. Not in the way it's approached. Not in the way it's shot. Nothing. It's middle of the road bullshit to appeal to the lowest common denominator.

At least Wandavision had depth and was a proper character study in loss and grief. Wandavision had a POV and something to say. Wandavision did something original. Hawkeye is none of those things. This is nonspecific garbage. This is just...........a really fucking long Marvel movie...which takes me to my next point...

3) The whole thing is bloated. This show could've been a single feature but it's somehow six episodes?????????????? WHY?! It legitimately could've been 90-120 minutes instead of 300 minutes (six 50ish minute episodes). But instead they decided to make it a string of filler episodes to make content for a streaming platform no one asked for to begin with. If it wasn't Hailee I would've turned it off after the pilot.

4) Now, Hailee. It's painful to watch this knowing what she can do. Imagine coming from this woman act her fucking heart out for three years on Dickinson - COMING OUT OF WITNESSING HER DO WHAT SHE DID IN 3X08 TO THIS HORRID DOWNGRADE AND REALIZE THIS IS WHAT THE FUTURE OF HER CAREER IS GOING TO LOOK LIKE. Do you know how depressing that is? Hailee could lock her brain in jar inside the freezer at home every day, come to work, and still do what she's doing here. It requires NOTHING of her. It would require NOTHING of any actress because this role is zero percent challenging. Why are they holding one of the most talented actresses of our generation hostage for the decade to do............this????...it is enraging. Not gonna lie. Not gonna lie. It's making me angry. And then they're about to add Flo on top of that waste.....🥴🥴🥴

Anyway...Kate and Yelena are gonna fuck. Nice. We love it. Cute babies. Hot girlfriends. Love to see it. OTP. Here for it. Dumb girlfriends in love! K I S S I N G. Right? RIGHT?! Let me pretend that's what's about to happen in 1x05 so that I don't shove my fist through my computer.

#i gotta take solace in something cuz IT SURE AS FUCK AINT THE SHOW #I GOTTA FIND WAYS TO JUSTIFY THE IDEA THAT HAILEE AND FLO NOT BEING ABLE TO DO SHIT FOR THE NEXT 10 YEARS IS GONNA BE FOR SOMETHING #AND THAT SOMETHING BETTER BE GAY #AT LEAST IN MY HEAD #LEAVE ME ALONE #I HEADCANON WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT #IF IM GOING TO SUFFER THROUGH MARVEL IM GOING TO DO IT MY WAY #hawkeye #kbishop #ybelova #hsteinfeld #screams

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immaturityofthomasastruc · 3 years

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IOTA Reviews: Miraculous World: New York - United HeroeZ

So... with the recent announcement that Seasons 4 and 5 of Miraculous Ladybug will air on Disney+, with one episode set to air around March 27th (and it's out of order because of course it is), I figured I would try something new with this blog.

While I'm sure Astruc will be more active while the new season is airing, I figured I'd take a stab at reviewing new episodes of Miraculous Ladybug when they come out, as I already have a Disney+ account that I only really use to watch Star Wars and other Disney Channel cartoons I've never seen before. Well, that and the gloriousness that is Mech-X4.

And I was thinking that since a certain special is already available on Disney+, I'll review it now. Consider it my, uh...

279 Follower Special. Yeah, that’s it.

Miraculous World: New York – United Heroez is the first in a series of Miraculous Ladybug specials with the premise of having our heroes travel around the world. Because I guess that's what you do with your show when you run out of ideas for things your characters can do. Just ask Ash Ketchum and Thomas the Tank Engine.

The special is somewhat polarizing among the fandom, with some loving it, and some hating it. If you've seen some of my earlier posts, you probably already know how I feel about this.

Anyway, let's take a look at Miraculous World: New York – United Heroez

We start off with a logo letting us know this is going to be the start of a series of specials called Miraculous World.

Yeah, I'm sure that'll be remembered among other great cinematic universes like the Dark Universe and Ghost Corps.

In all seriousness, this is actually a pretty decent opening. It has some nice visuals that inform the audience of the globetrotting gimmick seen in the special, and the orchestral cover of the Miraculous Ladybug theme sounds pretty badass.

The special truly starts off in the middle of an Akuma fight, where we see that Mr. Pigeon is taking inspiration from Startrain's plan to escape to the one place that hasn't been corrupted by capitalism... SPACE! Apparently, this is the 51st time that Ladybug and Cat Noir have fought him, which makes you wonder if Hawkmoth is either running out of ideas, or if he just wants to see how insane Mr. Pigeon's plans can get for the hell of it.

Ladybug and Cat Noir transform into their new space forms that they've obviously had for a while, given Alya's familiarity with their names... even though those forms probably would have been useful when they were fighting Startrain. And this is just the tip of the iceberg in terms of things this special retcons.

We get a few interactions between Ladybug and Cat Noir to give new viewers an idea of what the Love Square dynamic is like, with Cat Noir fawning over Ladybug after she leaves, and Marinette gushing over a new poster Adrien is in. I'll get back to this later,

After that, we see a brief clip from a student film teaching the audience about the real life friendship between George Washington and Marquis de Lafayette (the latter actually becoming one of Washington's close advisors during the Revolutionary War), and how it lead to the completely made up, “French American Friendship week”, which is basically an excuse for Marinette and Adrien's class to go to New York for a week.

Their teacher, Ms. Bustier isn't going with them because she's having a baby (God help us if the writers resort to pregnancy jokes next season), so the only other teacher in the school, Ms. Mendeleiev, will be supervising the class instead.

Adrien isn't able to go to New York because his father won't let him, and even he lampshades how predictable this is. But as soon as Lila suggests spending time with Adrien, Marinette immediately declares she will try to get Adrien to come on the trip with everyone, because he's her friend... and then Alya mocks her for saying that in the very next scene.

And here is the first problem with this special: The way Marinette's crush on Adrien is portrayed.

We're supposed to see Marinette as being in denial about her feelings for Adrien, but when you think about how Season 3 ended with Marinette realizing Adrien and Kagami (who will make an appearance in this special later on) are happy together, it makes sense that she wants to do this. She wants to move on from her crush on Adrien and try to be friends with him.

Unfortunately, her “best friend” Alya isn't willing to let her move on, which is extremely hypocritical when you remember how often she teased her for her behavior around Adrien, to the point where her other “friends” made bets about Marinette's hesitance to confess to him (Cat Blanc). Does she even know about Adrien and Kagami?

And throughout this special, rather than acknowledge Marinette's decision to move on, she constantly teases Marinette about how she still has feelings for Adrien, instead of simply leaving her alone. She reaches salt fic levels of unlikable in this special.

It doesn't help that Marinette's anxiety around Adrien is cranked up to twelve in this special, with her constantly stammering, or fidgeting around to the point where she struggles to get through a door. Twice. And as always, this behavior is only going to be played for laughs, because the showrunners are running out of ways to make Marinette suffer for comedy. And it only gets worse from here.

While watching a news report about a necklace and sabre George Washington had given to him by Lafyette, Nathalie, bedridden from the events of the season finale, tells Gabriel that the necklace in question is actually a lost Miraculous.

And as soon as Marinette arrives, Gabriel tells her that he's going to let Adrien go on the trip. His reason?

Gabriel: Letting Adrien go to New York will be simpler than hiding my absence here from him. Besides, this will allow me to continue keeping an eye on him.

Yeah, he seriously thinks it's a good idea to send his son to the same place he's planning to attack as part of one of his plans. At least you could make the argument that whenever Adrien is endangered during an Akuma attack, he's simply caught in the crossfire because he's in the wrong place at the wrong time, like with “Style Queen”. Here, Gabriel is intentionally letting Adrien go to New York, while claiming that he will be able to monitor him while he plots to attack the city. This is like if Grand Moff Tarkin let his son go to Alderaan for vacation. And again, it only gets worse from here.

Though Gabriel waits a day to tell Adrien he's going to New York, because of he did, we wouldn't get any scenes of Adrien moping around about how much his life sucks. Well, that and a scene of him and Kagami, where the latter kisses him. This is Kagami's only scene in the special, and she isn't mentioned again after this.

As Ladybug, Marinette tells Cat Noir she's going away for a few days and trusts him to guard Paris as long as he alerts her of an Akuma or Sentimonster. What will happen to the Miracle Box Marinette inherited from Former Master In Name Only Fu is never explained.

To Adrien's credit, it's Plagg that convinces him to go on the trip even though Ladybug trusted him, and even then, it takes a little bit to convince Adrien, showing he still takes his job seriously, with him coming up with a plan in case an Akuma attacks. It's not perfect, but it's something. That all goes to hell later on, though.

We then see Gabriel once again talking to Emilie's corpse about his plan.

Gabriel: Blah, blah, blah, Emilie. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'll get Ladybug and Cat Noir's Miraculous this time for sure. Blah, blah, blah, blah, I'm such a good father and sympathetic villain.

Oh, sorry. That's how I hear most of his monologues to Emilie these days. My bad.

The next scene features something I bet you've never seen before, Marinette being late for something. Thankfully, Luka gives her a ride to help her catch up, hoping that the trip will “give her some clarity”, most likely referring to her conflicting emotions. Marinette then kisses Luka goodbye and gets on the bus. This is Luka's only scene in the special, and he isn't mentioned again after this.

On the plane, it turns out that Adrien is conveniently sitting next to Marinette, prompting Alya to tease Marinette yet again while making this face.

Alya: (smirking and talking in a very smug tone of voice) Awesome, Marinette! Go and sit next to your “friend”! So you two can enjoy a nice flight together! A very long flight.

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Alya continues to relentlessly tease Marinette and makes fun of her crush for no real reason, suggesting Marinette get off the plane because “New York is the most romantic city in the world after Paris”. And this gives her a goddamn panic attack where she frantically tries to run off the plane. Remember kids, if someone has some kind of anxiety or social awkwardness, it's perfectly fine to tease and make fun of their behavior, and even exploit it for your own amusement.

And after some unfunny hilarious slapstick involving Marinette on the plane, Alya continues her streak of treating Marinette like her plaything.

Nino: If only this trip could help Adrien finally come out of his shell.

Alya: And if only it could help Marinette be more honest with herself and clearer about her feelings!

Nino: Operation New York?

Alya: Operation New York!

Nino: Let's help them loosen up!

Alya: After all, isn't the United States the land of the free?

Well, the only thing you actually got right about America is forcing others to do things they don't want to do. Just ask the Native Americans.

It's scenes like this why Alya is portrayed so negatively in salt fics. And this happens throughout the special. Now, while I'm not really a drinker, I'm guessing there's at least one person reading this post right now who is. So I have a little idea for a game. Every time Alya acts like a terrible friend to Marinette, take a shot. I'd just have a donor ready in case one of your kidneys gives up on you.

After an admittedly nice scene of Adrien thanking Marinette for convincing his father to let him come (undercut by Marinette creepily commenting on Adrien's cologne as they hug), another problem with this special rears its ugly head, as a man with oddly-colored skin arrives on one of the plane's wings.

Alya: Oh, no! That's Techno-Pirate, the supervillain who steals technology!

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Yeah. This is happening. The special is just casually introducing this new supervillain, Techno-Pirate as well as some other superheroes, neither of which had any buildup before, not even a throwaway line They're just here now.

So some of the American superheroes are to save the day, now, I guess. Majestia, the Superman knockoff, helps steer the plane back into position, her robotic daughter, Uncanny Valley, helps fix the plane's broken wing, while Knightowl and Sparrow, the Batman and Robin knockoffs, deal with Techno-Pirate. And everyone just treats this like a regular occurrence.

Marinette: Wow! That all happened so fast! I didn't have time to transform or help out!

Adrien: Good thing the American superheroes were here. I couldn't have transformed here. I'm supposed to be in Paris!

Plagg: Relax, Adrien! Let the local superheroes handle their own problems.

I have so many problems with this plot development. Just how common is the knowledge that there are other superheroes besides Ladybug and Cat Noir in other countries? How have they never been mentioned until now? Why is everyone just accepting the fact that there are other superheroes?

I get that these characters weren't conceived around the time the show started, but the way they're just thrown into the story is just so confusing and does so many things to hurt the narrative instead of helping it. In other episodes, Majestia and Knightowl were only seen in comic books, and Ladybug and Cat Noir were seen as the only heroes in the world because the world itself was fairly down to earth, barring some more advanced technology (the police's weapons in “Origins”, Hawkmoth's lair, Max's robot, Markov, the space dumpsters in “Reverser”, and the AI in Startrain).

The fact that New York is apparently filled with all kinds of superheroes for very mundane things like directing traffic and selling hot dogs just makes the Miraculous seem less important. If there was more work done to better integrate them into the story, like maybe making them an American secret or something, it could have worked. To quote a character voiced by Jason Lee...

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And the sad thing was that Power Rangers was able to pull something like this off far better in 1995. During the third season of Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, Master Vile had successfully reversed the Earth's rotation, turning the Power Rangers into children (yes, it runs on Superman logic, just go with it). Because of this, the Rangers are unable to morph, with the villains free to attack the city. In response, Zordon sends out a distress call to another team of Power Rangers from the planet Aquitar.

Now I know what you're thinking. If Zordon had the ability to contact another team of Power Rangers for help, why did it take him so long to do so? The episode immediately answers the question by pointing out that Aquitar is a planet made entirely of water, so it's incredibly dangerous for them to head to a planet like Earth, making their intervention a last resort. And even after they come, a major plot thread is finding ways to keep the Alien Rangers hydrated, which only gets worse when the Alien Rangers' enemy, Hydro Hog, arrives to drain Earth's water while teaming up with the main villains.

The integration of the Alien Rangers into the story generally feels natural, and there is a clear explanation as to why they haven't joined the battle until now, and even then, still place some hurdles for them to overcome. Here, the special just wants the audience to immediately accept the fact that there are hundreds of superheroes in New York.

So as Marinette and Adrien's class arrives in New York, we see Sparrow watching over them, referring to them as “the little croissants”. That's another thing the special gets right about America: casually making racist comments.

Uncanny Valley's civilian form, Aeon, sees Marinette and Adrien, and, of course, she says that they're “made for each other”. If only the writers actually bothered to give us evidence of that fact that everyone loves to say for some reason. Though we do get the only instance of sanity regarding the Love Square in this special, where Sparrow's civilian form, Jess, calls out Aeon for thinking of getting them together.

Aeon: Those two are made for each other.

Jess: Seriously, Aeon? Not again!

Aeon: But I am programmed to help people, Jess!

Jess: Just stop meddling with people's private lives!

Also, I had already mentioned the unfortunate implications of Aeon being programmed to “help people” in an earlier post, but I still want to reiterate that I don't think any of that was intentional at all, and I definitely don't think a single writer on this show is actually racist. Everyone got that? Okay, moving on.

Jess and Aeon are assigned to watch over the Parisian students while they sneak out to a party on the rooftop of the hotel they're staying at, where they meet another superhero, Hot Dog Dan. He gives random people magical hot dogs that give them temporary superpowers. Marinette and Adrien share one, and they both start flying before Adrien offers to slow dance with Marinette.

Okay... It's clear they they're trying to reference an earlier episode, “Despair Bear”, by having Marinette and Adrien dance to the same song they danced to in that episode. The problem is that the context isn't right.

Adrien is dating Kagami, and he's offering to do this... why? What makes him so interested in Marinette all of a sudden? I get that he doesn't realize Marinette has feelings for him, but if someone says they only see you as a friend, do you offer to slow dance with them? Especially if their reaction to your offer is recoiling in fear?

I'm sorry, writers, but you can't try to recreate some of the magic you had in earlier episodes with Adrienette when you have clearly established Lukanette and Adrigami as official relationships at the moment. And don't give me any of that “that's not the point of the special” crap. The season finale showed Marinette and Adrien getting together with Luka and Kagami respectively, so it's natural that a lot of people were looking forward to seeing how they worked as couples. I'll get back to this point later on.

Meanwhile, Gabriel has made his way to New York, and decides to akumatize the arrested Techno-Pirate into Technolizer, asking him to steal Lafyette's sabre from the museum instead of the necklace.

Back to the museum, Alya and Nino decide to send Marinette and Adrien into a room alone where they're locked in and attacked by the supervillain Solutide...'s hologram, which was all part of Jess and Aeon's plan. In a city where there is a superhero and supervillain on every street. They seriously planned on giving Marinette and Adrien a near-death experience to get them to realize their love for each other.

That's... pretty fucking demented.

What if Marinette and Adrien did something reckless in their attempt to escape? They could have seriously gotten hurt. Hell, what if the scare gave either of them a heart attack? And let's say either of them found out what the plan was (which would be pretty easy, given “Solitude” is a hologram). Do you think either of them would be happy with Alya and Nino, even if they confessed their love for each other? And none of them even think to apologize for what they did, and this scene is never mentioned again. To quote a certain internet reviewer. WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!?

Though to be fair, the scene before was the only scene where Alya gets to use a brain cell in this special by pointing how wrong that plan is... for a second before she goes along with it. So close, Alya. So close...

So after Adrien gets a news report revealing that Robustus is attacking Paris (even though Markov is with them in New York), while Marinette isn't contacted by Cat Noir. The situation only gets worse when Technolizer attacks, getting the sabre in the process.

Sparrow and Uncanny Valley try to fight him off, but are quickly overwhelmed, with some of the latter's technology getting stolen by Technolizer. Marinette and Adrien transform and help out the two heroes, naturally being confused by the other's presence.

But while the four heroes chase after Technolizer, Hawkmoth shows competence for once and steals the necklace in the process, while revealing that the Robustus attacking Paris was actually a Sentimonster created by Mayura.

During the fight, rather than focusing on stopping the already dangerous supervillain powered up by Hawkmoth, Ladybug decides to trash talk Cat Noir instead. I get that she's angry at him for not following through on his promise, but can't she wait until after the fight?

Ladybug: (mockigly) “Just go and rest easy! Yeah, leave Paris with me!”

Cat Noir: I-I didn't know I was going to leave! It was a last-minute decision, that's all!

Ladybug: Do you realize that because of you, there's no one in Paris to protect the city?! Why didn't you tell me that you were leaving?!

Cat Noir: I was afraid you'd get angry!

Ladybug: And you were right, because as you can see, I AM angry!

To quote our recently inaugurated president, will you shut up, man? People say I'm too harsh on Cat Noir for the way he acted during episodes like “Syren”, but this is basically the same thing. Ladybug is prioritizing her own feelings over stopping Technolizer. Yes, she has a right to be angry at Cat Noir, but all she has to do is wait until after the battle to chew him out.

And during the battle, Ladybug outright says she can't trust Cat Noir anymore, making the latter flinch, so Technolizer throws him into Uncanny Valley with his Cataclysm activated, killing her.

In her anger, Majestia punches Technolizer through several buildings before Hawkmoth recalls the Akuma inside him before helping the villain get away. Ladybug casts her Miraculous Ladybug, fixing Uncanny Valley, but that's not enough. Knightowl is pissed, and orders Ladybug and Cat Noir to hand over their Miraculous, not listening to why they're so important, so the two run away.

To make things worse, the two find out about Hawkmoth's plan, and Ladybug explains she can only use Miraculous Ladybug to fix damage caused by a specific villain, and since the Sentimonster is gone, she can't do anything.

In his grief, Cat Noir admits that everything that happened is his fault, so he renounces Plagg and hands over his Miraculous to Ladybug before running away.

So... this scene.

This. Scene.

Where. Do I. Begin?

First of all, this is what causes Ladybug to lose trust in Cat Noir? Not the multiple times he disobeyed her orders because of his own personal feelings? Not the constant flirting and unwanted advances even though she's made it clear she doesn't see him that way? Not the time he trusted an evil doppelganger of Ladybug over the real one? It's this? Cat Noir leaving Paris alone while a Sentimonster attacked?

Okay, let's say that Cat Noir decided to stay in Paris after all. What was he supposed to do when Robustus attacked around the same time as Technolizer? What was Ladybug supposed to do when she found out about Robustus in Paris? Was she supposed to abandon New York and head back there or focus on helping the American heroes?

Second, who does Knightowl think she (yeah, she's a woman, I'll get to that in a bit) is ordering Ladybug and Cat Noir to hand over their Miraculous? What authority does she hold over them? Why should they listen to her? Why can't they simply explain why their Miraculous are so important, and that they can't give them up? Why doesn't Ladybug just explain that she's now the Guardian of the Miraculous? In fact, why does Majestia go along with the order? Ladybug still saved her daughter's life! If anything, she should be sticking up for the two.

There's actually a Superman comic where Captain Marvel storms a police station to interrogate a criminal who killed his best friend so he can find out who hired him. Though he comes close to doing it, Captain Marvel ultimately doesn't kill the criminal's boss, but still flies over to Mount Everest to grieve his friend's death.

Enter Superman, planning to call out Captain Marvel, but instead, he sees him crying. He explains that the boy killed was his best friend before revealing his identity as Billy Batson. Superman's response?

He goes to the wizard Shazam and demands to know why he did this to Billy, furious that a child was forced to go through stuff like that. While Shazam can't take back the powers he gave Billy, he encourages Superman to reach out to Billy, leading to him revealing his identity as Clark Kent to the kid.

I'm not saying that Majestia or Knightowl should have called out Master Fu or ask who made Ladybug the Guardian (as awesome as that would have been), but the point I am trying to make is in that comic, Superman made the effort to understand what Billy had been through, and understood what happened. Majestia and Knightowl made no effort to do anything like that. In fact, they never even knew Hawkmoth existed, which I call bullcrap on, given that he once MOVED THE PLANET AWAY FROM ITS ORBIT. Were you all asleep that day? Why didn't you do anything to help Ladybug and Cat Noir fight Hawkmoth? Were you expecting them to just fight this magical terrorist on their own? They don't have the same support system the American heroes have, and they could really use the help.

And third, Cat Noir. Yeah, just because I'm calling out Ladybug doesn't mean Cat Noir isn't taking any heat either. Again, I have to ask, this is what makes him give up? Keep in mind, when he was Aspik in “Desperada” and saw Ladybug get captured by an Akuma, he reversed time 25,913 times to try and save her before he threw in the towel. At the same time, he was willing to quit in “Syren” because he claimed Ladybug didn't trust him. The level of Adrien's willingness to keep going is incredibly inconsistent, and this doesn't really help his reputation as a character.

And then there's the fact that he's bailing on Ladybug when things are at their absolute worst. Yes, Marinette also briefly gave up in “Origins”, but that was after her first battle, and she was overwhelmed by her screw-up endangering countless lives in Paris in addition to being a nervous wreck even before she got her Miraculous. But here's the difference: She took responsibility. She realized people were in danger, so she jumped into action to save Alya and Cat Noir. Even then, she acknowledged her failure and felt unsure of herself, with Cat Noir helping to reassure her, showing the emotional support their partnership has.

Adrien, who has been a superhero for months, and has faced some pretty stressful situations, as soon as things head south, he immediately gives up and leaves Ladybug to fend for herself while two separate cities are in danger. And he knows that she has no other allies, because Master Fu ran away at the end of the last season, and Miracle Queen exposed the identities of the other temporary heroes. She has nobody to go to for help. He doesn't even show Ladybug her civilian form to apologize, just so he can't get any flak in his regular life. He just gives Ladybug his ring, and literally runs away.

A wise man once said “With great power, there must also come great responsibility.” Adrien has shown no responsibility at ALL in this special, barring the one moment I mentioned earlier.

It's nothing more than a forced emotional moment that has no buildup. This is basically the same with basically every time Miraculous Ladybug tries to be emotional. The writers think that despite never really having any tension or character arcs in their story, they can just have their characters cry out of nowhere, and suddenly, it's a deep moment? That's not how writing works, idiots!

Back at the hotel, Jess and Aeon are getting chewed out by their mothers (Who are the civilian identities of Majestia and Knightowl), and have a conversation about being superheroes... less than a few feet away from the French students. Though at least Barbara, the civilian form of Knightowl (again, I'll get to that later) calls out Aeon and Jess for their stupid “fake supervillain plan”, so there's that I guess.

So we cut to a press conference where the President of the United States, Camilla Hombee (An anagram of Michelle Obama's name, because Astruc has made it clear what his political views are) advises everyone to stay inside while Techno-Pirate is still an active threat. Why does this seem so familiar? And then she... transforms into a superhero too.

Oh, for the love of-- THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES IS A SUPERHERO?! The person in charge of the country and relations with foreign nations is a superhero too?! If she's the president, why didn't she do anything to stop Hawkmoth?! I get that America doesn't really care about news from other countries outside of America, but you would think that the frickin president, WHO IS A SUPERHERO, would at least acknowledge the existence of a supervillain in Paris as a threat!

GOD, this is stupid! And it only gets worse...

Gabriel sends a car to pick up Adrien, realizing the city was too dangerous (I still don't get the point of sending him here in the first place), causing him to tearfully say that he “wouldn't have minded being stuck here a little longer with a friend like her” before leaving. And then Alya...

Alya: What is wrong with you, Marinette?! Couldn't you see that he was just waiting for you to tell him to stay?!

Marinette: What-? But I...? He...? He made his choice. What did you expect me to do?

Alya: It doesn't matter what I expected you to do! Who's Adrien to you?! A friend or more than a friend?! There will never be a better time to be clear with yourself, Marinette! Do you want him to leave or do you want him to stay?!

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NO. You do not have the right to say ANY of that! It doesn't matter what YOU expected Marinette to do? This whole special, you've been teasing her about her feelings for Adrien, and forcing her into uncomfortable situations with him all because you want your OTP to be a thing. And now you're saying Marinette had a choice the whole time? Marinette expected herself to get over Adrien and start to see him as a friend, AND YOU WOULDN'T LET HER DO THAT! For three seasons, Alya has made fun of Marinette's crush on Adrien, while at the same time, has constantly pushed her into situations where she was clearly uncomfortable around him to the point where she discouraged Marinette for trying to move on in a previous episode (Frozer). And then in this special, she trapped them in a room with a fake supervillain (which is this world's equivalent to pretending to be a terrorist) just to get them to confess their feelings for each other. AND THE WHOLE TIME, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MARINETTE'S CHOICE???

If Obilvio didn't make me stop caring about Alya, this was the moment that actually me despise her.

And the worst part? The narrative frames her as being right. This is somehow enough for Marinette to run out in the pouring rain while a supervillain is lose in New York, with nobody even trying to stop her, to chase after Adrien's car, where she tearfully confesses that she still loves him after the car gets away.

What is the point of this exactly? We already knew Marinette liked Adrien last season, her nonexistent character arc was learning to get over him, and now she's supposed to learn she's still interested in him? What about Luka? Are we just going to ignore Luka? What about the fact that Kagami is already in a relationship with Adrien? None of these questions are never explained.

Gabriel finds the lost Miraculous, the Eagle Miraculous, which represents Freedom, and gives it to Techno-Pirate, turning him into Miraclonizer. Using the Eagle Miraculous' power, Liberation, he can undo any mental boundaries someone has, but since he's using it for evil, it basically drives several heroes crazy without their own moral codes. And while I claimed it was an original power in one of my earlier posts, the more I think about it, Liberation is really just a different version of Reverser's airplanes. All they did was just phrase the explanation a different way.

So despite being a city full of superheroes, Miraclonizer manages to drive every hero crazy in a matter of minutes, with the exception of Jess and Aeon. So do none of the other heroes have sidekicks? Is there not even a Young Justice or Teen Titans-esque team in this city? I'm just saying, if they have a hot dog superhero, there should be at least more than two sidekicks in New York.

Aeon goes to search out Ladybug and Cat Noir, and because of some technobabble stuff, Aeon can easily figure out their identities. Again, this was something I already talked about in an earlier post, so I won't harp on this scene. It's a dumb retcon in a special full of dumb retcons, what else can I say?

So Aeon goes to find Adrien on his private plane to give him back his Miraculous... even though wouldn't it make more sense for Aeon to use it instead to save time? I didn't mention this, but right before this scene, Majestia was pushing the moon towards the Earth. Time is kind of the essence here. It also would have saved us more of Adrien's whining.

Uncanny Valley: Cat Noir, New York and Ladybug need you!

Adrien: (looks at where his ring used to be) I'm no longer Cat Noir.

Uncanny Valley: To err is human, apparently!

Adrien: My mistakes are unforgivable. I couldn't bear to see the disappointment in her eyes.

“i'M sO tOrTuReD. fEeL bAd FoR mE, dAmNiT!”

Cut it out with Angstdrien Depreste already, writers. It's gotten old.

And despite making a big deal about how much he failed Ladybug, he immediately jumps back into action as soon as he hears a recording of Ladybug saying she needs him. I know it's supposed to be a heartwarming thing by showing him wanting to support his lady, but to me, it just comes off more like he needed an ego boost. He was fulling willing to let Ladybug save the day on her own, but as soon as he heard how important he is to Ladybug, he's more than willing to become Cat Noir again. Because it's not like he could regret his decision to abandon his partner, and realize it isn't too late to make up for his mistake, right? That would imply Adrien is motivated by anything other than his feelings for Ladybug. Then there's the fact that as soon as Cat Noir returns, Ladybug instantly forgives him, despite saying earlier that she didn't trust him. It's almost like that whole debacle was only there to eat up about fifteen minutes of the special's runtime.

Hawkmoth issues an ultimatum to Ladybug and Cat Noir. Miraclonizer is ready to fire a nuclear missile (though the dub calls it a rocket, let's be honest, it's not), fully intending to start World War III unless Ladybug and Cat Noir give up. He's seriously willing to risk making The Day After a reality all for his wife. But remember, you're still supposed to feel bad for this literal war criminal.

Ladybug, Cat Noir, Aeon, and Sparrow manage to get to Miraclonizer's hideout, the Statue of Liberty, and take back the Eagle Miraculous, with Sparrow taking it and transforming into Eagle.

And then there's the design of the new hero's suit. While I'm glad it isn't another skintight jumpsuit, and the wings are a nice touch, people have raised some questions regarding Eagle's design, and how it feels like the animators really want to remind the audience that Jess is Native American. I mean, it looks like what Zack Morris wore in that one episode of Saved by the Bell barring the headdress.

And this might be because I'm a history major, and I just brushed up on this subject in class last semester, but I'm a little uncomfortable with the fact that someone actually thought it was a good idea to give the Native American girl the Miraculous of the Eagle, the symbol of America which represents Freedom. I don't want to go too into detail about this, but, uh... let's just say if you know about the history of the relationship between the Native Americans and the colonists, you'll get why this raises a couple of red flags.

Does this mean I think the showrunners are racist? No, it was an honest, albeit questionable mistake. Do I think this is the worst Native American representation on TV. Oh, hell no. Chakotay from Star Trek: Voyager was a walking amalgam of every Native American stereotype in the book, and was featured in an episode that said, with a straight face, mind you, that Native Americans used to be backwards savages, so a group of white aliens genetically altered them so not only could they survive the Earth's harsh weather, but so they would become more creative, leading to the birth of Native American culture. I apologize to any Native American human being who had the misfortune of learning about that for the first time. But over all, Jess is far from the bottom of the barrel of poor Native American representation.

So Jess uses her powers to calm every superhero down, while Ladybug and Cat Noir de-evilize Technolizer. And of course, Hawkmoth assumes that since there are other lost Miraculous, “they will be his”. Maybe focus on getting the two Miraculous you originally set out to get first, buddy.

So Knightowl and Majestia apologize for their behavior, and we learn that apparently Knightowl and Sparrow have been around for at least since the Wild West, and that the Knighowl and Majestia we've been following have been keeping up the illusion that the original duo are still alive for several generations.

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Was this special written in the 1950's? Why make a big deal out of this? Why is it so important that Knightowl and Sparrow both have a Y chromosome? The president is a woman and a superhero, the strongest superhero on Earth is a woman, and you were just saved by a female superhero all the way from Paris. I don't think people will be afraid of getting cooties from this Knightowl. Hell, we live in a world where if you don't like a female superhero, people automatically hate you. Just ask the people who didn't like Captain Marvel.

We see that Alya still learned nothing, as she continues to tease Marinete for daring to call Adrien her “friend”, as our special mercifully ends with the class sending a picture of a banner to Adrien to show their support... but not before a brief scene where a Guardian tries to take Eagle's Miraculous, before she makes him instantly pull a 180 as soon as she suggests he help to “create a new generation of heroes together”.

I'm guessing this is meant to be yet another tie-in to yet another Miraculous side project that will go absolutely nowhere. You might as well have had Nick Fury, oh, I'm sorry, Mick Flurry, recruit Eagle and Uncanny Valley for the ZAG Initiative.

But it doesn't matter, because the special's over, and once again, I never have to think about it ever again.

So... what else can I say that I haven't already said. This special sucks.

While the animation is honestly some of the best to come out of ZAG, and the action can get pretty good at times, it honestly doesn't really mean much when the story surrounding it is just so abysmal. Basically the only thing I liked about the Season 3 finale was the idea that the status quo was shifting in terms of Marinette's feelings for Adrien, and this special just ruined this interesting idea by the end faster than you can say “the series finale of Quantum Leap”.

Alya is at her most unlikable here with everything she does in this special. Almost everything she says to Marinette is either some catty comment or making fun of her trying to get over Adrien. Because God forbid she actually try to grow as a person and not let her life revolve around a cute boy. It's stuff like this that I genuinely wonder why Marinette even bothers to stay friends with her when all she does is tease her and force her out of her comfort zone. And according to co-director Wilfried “Winny” Pain, Alya is meant to be like Jiminy Cricket to Marinette's Pinocchio. I don't know which version of Pinocchio he read as a kid, but clearly, it's not the version we're mostly familiar with.

I'm still glad they didn't have Cat Noir revert back into his Ladybug-simping self we all knew and loathed in Season 3, but that doesn't mean he's still enjoyable in this special. The angsting about how sad Adrien's life is stopped being interesting years ago, and it's only done as a way to get the audience to care about him, but it comes off more like the writers are holding the audience at gunpoint and demanding they sympathize with him for bailing on the world when they need him the most.

I thought Aeon was a pretty likable character. Maybe it's because I'm a sucker for socially awkward robot characters like Data or Penny. I just wish we got to know her more, and why exactly her mother felt the need to play God by create her instead of just adopting like what Olympia and Barbara presumably did with Jess.

As a matter of fact, despite being played up as a big deal, there's still a lot about the American heroes that we don't really know about. How were the “United Heroes” formed in the first place? How did Majestia get her powers? What exactly is the origin of Knightowl and Sparrow? Why are all the American heroes so open about their identities to the point where the President's identity as a superhero is so well-known she can casually transform on TV? Hell, Ladybug and Cat Noir barely even interact with any of the heroes, and that includes Uncanny Valley and Sparrow/Eagle.

Generally, the special feels very rushed at times, with a lot of ideas not really being utilized. According to Astruc, there was actually a lot of things cut from the special, including a deleted subplot with Chloe and Ms. Mendeleiev. Although, given Astruc's track record, I don't think it would have been a good one given Chloe is involved.

This leads into a personal theory I have regarding this special, that I want everyone reading this to take it with a huge grain of salt. As much as he claims that he can't change anything he's already written, I personally believe that Thomas Astruc rewrote part of this special so Adrienette could get more focus to renew interest in the ship.

Hear me out on this. During Season 3, there were a lot more shipping debates between Adrienette shippers and Lukanette shippers, with the latter gaining more traction that season. It was also the season where other ships like Felinette, Kagaminette, and even Maribat became more prominent. And all of these ships were featured in post-Chameleon salt fics bashing Astruc's sunshine child, Adrien.

So, given how Astruc already dedicated an entire episode to bashing Felix fans, why wouldn't he use something like the New York special to convince the shippers to have more faith in the Love Square? After all, aren't Adrien and Marinette made for each other? Astruc has already said so on his Twitter.

Unfortunately, right now, I like to describe the Love Square as “Shrodinger's Relationship”. While the show can claim that Adrien and Marinette would make a great couple, they simultaneously show no real chemestry happening between the two in favor of Love Square shenanigans. And yes, I'm actually thinking of talking about the Love Square in a future analysis post.

And then there's the fact that Astruc himself said that everything that happened in this special is going to lead into the events of Season 4. What do I have to say about that?

Bring it.

I already talk about Miraculous Ladybug itself on this blog almost as much as I talk about its creator, and since I have a Disney+ account, I might as well subject myself to everything Season 4 has to offer. I've already seen one of my favorite shows go to hell, so why don't I chronicle another one of my favorite shows going to hell as well?

So yeah, as soon as a new episode is officially released on Disney+, expect a review from your boy IOTA.

I survived Season 3, so let's see if the number 4 is as unlucky as some countries say it is.

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garrothromeave · 3 years

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the hell is mystreet season 6??

(warning, long post ahead)

ok so before i start this

1) ive never posted shiiiit on tumblr before so watch me suffer, im just here to talk about stuff that my friends who dont know anything about aphmau have to listen to me rant about for hours on end

2) i havent seen mystreet in like years (except season 3, i watch that frequently since im laurance and shadow knight deprived) so please bear with me because i might be completely wrong on this lol. it’s just like, pointing out things i remember

3) im sure someones already talked about this but who cares

4) im gonna do this stupid thing where i just explain myself a bit at first, if you dont want to read that just skip to the part where you see “the actual thingy:” in bold and italics

5) mild disclaimer; i am completely aware that jessica is not a professional writer. i know that she did her best to appeal to her fans, and honestly, respect for that. while this post will come off as aggressive and probably look like hate, that’s not my intention in the slightest. it’s just... intense criticism. im sure y’all probably already know that, but yeah, just stating that anyways. i do believe that jess is doing her best, and in no way do i want to dismiss any hard work she’s done. that being said; prepare for a very strongly opinionated post.

haha watch there be 10000+ typos in this making me look like a complete dumbass

ok here we go

one of the main reasons i stopped watching aphmau back in 2017 was the mess that was season 4. like, in the first few episodes of the emerald secret, i thought “woah!! this is kinda cool, im a sucker for mystery!” because of course i was, it was something new and something exciting. the only problem i had with it at the time was kim, but that’s just because i always found her annoying and out of place. i just didn’t understand why garroth dragged her along and honestly i still don’t to this day BUT, moving on.

anyways, as the season progressed, 13 year old me was of course just “:0!!” the entire time--that is, up until the reveal of the main villain. i remember watching the episode, seeing the reveal of ein, and then stopping. like, just for a quick break, but i was still just overwhelmingly disappointed. like, and this was the time when pdh was airing and ein just got made alpha (i think?) and i had really really liked eins character in pdh. either way, that really sucked and actually opened my eyes to a lot of things.

one of the main things bein’ the fact that this was supposed to be a slice of life kinda series that decided to take a turn to a more edgy kinda approach. which, i guess i regularly wouldnt mind? but seeing as mcd was kinda bein neglected at the time it just didnt sit right with me. BUT WHATEVER, point is i stopped watching mystreet all together at the end of season 4.

like, a whole year later my brother tells me that shit’s getting intense in season 5 + 6 of mystreet, and my brilliant self decided to give it a shot--but i refused to watch all of season 5, so i only stepped in when ein made an appearance. so whenever that was, that’s where i picked up because i didnt care enough to see

and y’know--i honestly didn’t hate it at first. in fact, i found it oddly cool. it wasn’t enough to get me into aphmau again, but it was enough to where i was intrigued. i dont know why, but i never watched the finale, so i didnt see the ending until just a few weeks ago--but back then, i thought it was neat. looking back on it however... im just so confused.

side note: only got back into aphmau this time around because of mcd. mainly because like, i adore the first season and the first half of the second season. and being nearly 18 now, im a lot more appreciative of plot and well-written characters n junk.

the actual thingy:

ok back on track. imma stop spilling out my story of how i got back into aphmau, and lets just skip to what rewatching mcd made me realize of season 6′s plot and shit:

-emmalyn. how the fuck does ghost even remotely exist? if she’s emmalyn as claimed, then why have we already seen emmalyn in the mystreet universe alive? look i get that creators can do whatever they want with their stories but at the same time please provide some sort of explanation good god. and maybe they did and i just havent seen it, so if there is one--let me know. but until that day imma just sit here confused as fuck

-ok so imma just be real, the whole ‘ultima’ thing is just... not great. in my opinion, anyways. like... i saw someone mention this in another post, but if this ultima stuff was like, a really big deal, why isnt it mentioned in mcd? though i suppose since its a curse of sorts, it could be later on past the time period in which mcd takes place--but even then, how did it manage to make its way into aaron’s family bloodline?

-WHY IS EVERYONE AT STARLIGHT ITS JUST SO CONVINIENT like what happened to this place being the most expensive shit on the planet or whatever, and how the gang happens to run into like, the werewolf trio and blaze and kai and guy and nate all of these people like god damn life doesnt WORK LIKE THAT

-im sorry but turning people into relics? thats... thats the best you could come up with? plus, like, how does that even work? in mcd it’s established that relics are separate entitles that choose their wielder, based on a ‘personal’ connection (being a descendent of a previous wielder) or if they’re a good match personality and (i think?) moral wise. so the whole turning-people-into-relics doesnt make much sense to be honest.

-irene really over here using her god powers to only keep her friends alive like god damn not a great god if you ask me

-can i talk about how incredibly predictable aphmaus death was? like i just kinda sat there waiting for it to happen and when it did i literally went “haha! wonder when she’ll be revived” because god forbid we actually kill off characters

-when aphmau + demon warlock fought in the irene dimension there was no passage of time whatsoever in the real world whiiiiiiiiich really bothers me because they fought in there for at least a few minutes

-speaking of aphmau and the demon warlocks fight does it bother anyone else that it had to be aaron who took over the fight?? like we get it hes the big protector blah blah blah but god damn it wouldve been cooler if aphmau had fought this battle as her. aaron fighting this battle was so underwhelming

-...love. like, thats the only thing thats needed to break out of a forever potion? love? LIKE YEAH, GOOD GUYS GOTTA WIN SOMEHOW, but its just so cliche and overdoneeee

-oh yeah and also when travis went bonkers and became the demon warlock or whatever, why’d he only take over katelyn and garroth?? like, zane had been influenced by the potions in the past as well? DONT GET ME WRONG--i do love some good brother edge, but uh, the demon warlock was just bein kinda a dumbass by not possessing zane too just sayin’

-can aaron please go to fucking jail for mass murder now like holy shit, he just got sent home on a fuckin boat. also why did blaze forgive him for killing him thats not even remotely realistic. then again, nothing in mystreet has ever been realistic when it comes to characters and motives and personalities, (cough katelyn being actually abusive and travis being an actual pervert) but yknow whatever

-katelyn and kawaii chan literally added nothing to the plot whatsoever. like lets be real, katelyn lost her personality the moment season 5 started and kawaii chan just kinda sits there :I

-ok im sorry this was bound to come up but cmon guys imagine laurances potential if he was in season 6 like god damn this is beyond maddening. AND YOU KNOW WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A REALLY REALLY COOL PARRALLEL?? IF IT WAS LAURANCE WHO SNAPPED GARROTH OUT OF HIS MIND CONTROL THING, because it would mimic laurance’s speech to get garroth to snap out of his rage in season 1, episode 100 of minecraft diaries. like how fuckin rad would that have been? missed opportunity

-also?? why does kim/ghost know magicks?? like, if i remember correctly, emmalyn is a scholar--not someone who knew magicks. i mean, i guess research? study?? but its been established that knowing how magicks works =/= being able to use magicks. i dunno, just doesnt seem right i guess. maybe its explained, i wouldnt know (yes i know that makes me look like a dick leave me alone)

-melissa should have stayed dead. LIKE, NO, ITS NOT AS SIMPLE AS “haha it takes more than a few bullets to kill me”??? look ive got nothing wrong with melissa (cough lie cough) but yknow it would have just been cool a character... stay dead? for once? its just too fuckin cliche that shes alive god damn

-can i also just say the only good thing that came out of season 6 was travis’ dads sacrifice like damn that made me actually sad

-howww was lucinda turned into a relic. or yknow, anyone else? like im sure they explain it better in the actual show i just dont remember, but its just that easy? turning anyone into a relic? granted, a normal person wouldnt be able to produce a good relic, but idk man. IM JUST SAYING; that the only really powerful relics that aphmau should have been able to wield is the one that aaron + zane produced because shad relic and esmund relic moment. lucinda isnt even like, connected to a divine warrior. ALSO, another point, if its seriously that powerful of a relic getting one from just a magic user like lucinda, why go through the trouble? i mean i guess ofc youd want the “all powerful” one that the ultima produces but i mean damn whats the point

-ok this is just going to bother me but in one of the episodes (i think might have been in season 5 actually) where that like, guardian dude was chasing aphmau and zane and at one point they split up and the dude just chuckles at zane diverting paths and goes under his breath “youre not the important one here”, suggesting that aphmau somehow is? first of all, id argue that any ro’meave is significantly more important than aphmau was, especially not knowing much about her other than that shes with aaron. i might be missing some bits an pieces, but if i was that dude id forget about aphmau and go after zane

-killing off derek for shock factor sucked, and i know the moment was supposed to be really sad because like “oh :( aarons dad is sacrificing himself for his son” but lets be real dereks still was a shitty father and i dont think his reasons for doing what he did was very good at all

-less about plot or more like: why the absolute fuck did the gang bring kim along instead of, oh i dont know, a life-long friend? like, laurance or dante maybe?? im sure its explained, i never saw aphmaus year or most of season 5, but god DAMN id hate to be apart of this friend group AND GOD LIKE, imagine reconnecting with an old friend who ends up getting closer to your best friends and taking priority in their lives over you (cough laurance) like god damn lol

-im just going to preface this one with: i dont remember everything that’s happened, so if im wrong i apologize in advance--but (you actually can correct me if im wrong and please do) didnt like, irene reincarnate her friends in order to give them better lives? I DONT KNOW IF THIS IS TRUE, ITS JUST WHAT I REMEMBER--however, if im correct, then:

a. why the hell would she bring back someone like zane, or gene, or ivy, etc.

b. why the hell do they all have the same exact names? first and last? again, im aware that the whole mystreet+mcd tie wasn’t originally supposed to be there, but i dont think that means such a coincidence can be excused? its just a bit much if you ask me.

c. why the hell is the fact that (as much as i literally hate this) aaron is a decedent of shad being ignored? like, you’d think that something like this would be something thats actually important, or something the demon warlock couldve taken advantage of. or are we completely erasing every other connections to divine warriors besides aphmau + irene? because even if irene did reincarnate them or do whatever it is she did, does she even have the power to sever the connections between them and their ancestors? my guess is, no.

d. speaking of irene why on earth was aphmau able to talk to/see irene, they’re literally the same person are they not? did she like, fuckin reincarnate herself without actually doing it?? BUT--i will give it to them, the demon warlock did refer to aphmau as something along the lines of being “one of the 3 parts of her broken soul” or something like that. however, my point still remains. also what are the other two did i miss that or is it never explained

now; if irene in fact did not ‘reincarnate’ her friends then please ignore that little bit right there :)

but yes, those are a few of the problems i have with season 6 off the top of my head. i would go into like, season 4 and 5 more as well, but i honestly didnt feel like it. at some point i might go into other things, like how important laurance could have been to the plot of these later seasons, or HELL, even dante. i might also go into what could have made season 4, 5, and 6 actually good--maybe... a rewrite? perhaps? but im getting too far ahead of myself, so i just leave you with this for now.

and i know that as soon as i post this 15 more things are just going to pop into my head BUT im going to try and not edit this post because why stress myself with that even more

anyways thank you for coming to my tedtalk

#in conclusion i hate it here #lets go back to mystreet bein slice of life pls #anyways tune in next week for 'the hell is pdh??'#aphmau #mcd #mystreet #minecraft diaries #please ignore these next tags im just promoting relentlessly #garroth ro'meave #zane ro'meave #aaron lycan #kawaii chan #kim mystreet #laurance zvhal #pls i have no idea how to tag posts #rant

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supertransural · 3 years

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Dean and his “things, people and feelings” he’s already “experienced differently”.

So here’s a random 4am thought I had. You know how while in the confessional in 10x16, Dean talks about “things, people, feelings” he wants to “experience differently/for the first time”? That confession is literally incoherent if you take a perfectly heterosexual-non-castiel-point of view. It just is. Let me explain why I think that is, and prepare yourself, this is going to be long.

Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that we’re supposed to understand that conversation the way the priest understands it, that we’re supposed to see Dean the way the priest sees him: as someone who likes to have flings, who cheats, doesn’t commit, etc... basically the character that was introduced to us in the first few seasons/episodes (somewhat). I’m going to be calling that stance the “priest POV”.

The issue here, is that this is not in fact “the first few seasons/episodes”, this is season 10, Things have happened since then. People have happened. Feelings. Have. Happened. Wether it be in the form of flashbacks or present day events, we’ve seen character development. So let’s start with romantic ones.

1: The first one that comes to mind is Lisa (and Ben). He had a committed, long term, family oriented, white picket fence relationship. It wasn’t just a “I had no other place to go” kinda deal, because once he was somewhat back on his feet, he could’ve pulled a Dean WInchester and left. Except he didn’t. He could’ve cheated. Except he didn’t. He could’ve not opened up or not gotten vulnerable. Except he did. That should already debunk the “priest POV” but let me add on.

2: Cassie. Dean was insanely vulnerable with her, he loved her, opened up to her about the one big thing he never tells his one night stands, and incidentally was the one who was rejected this time around. He still has feelings about her when he meets her again.

3: Robin. His first, real girlfriend. With whom he was also in a committed relationship with, which probably would’ve kept on growing if John hadn’t been the usual assh*le that he is, and Dean had had a chance to go to that dance with her. I like to think of her as beta-version-Lisa, and also as the girl who set him on his blazing trail of leaving women after 1 day or 1 week. His dad was the one to rip him away from her, and we know he wanted his son to be the perfect masc, emotionless, order-following, womanizer. And that is exactly what Dean attempts to become, even though this obviously goes against every fiber of his being (see #4).

4: Amanda. Now you may be thinking “but hey! Dean does cheat on her! and it is a short relationship!”. Sure he does, and sure it is, as I said, ever since Robin, he’s trying to be the womanizer his dad wants him to be. But he still lets himself get quite attached to Amanda, as shown by his disdain of the school right after she dumps him in front of everyone. The only reason he liked or tolerated this school wasn’t just “the hot cheerleaders” or whatever, it was Amanda. He wants to put on this mask of “I don’t care about her, I’m a bad boy, I’m just in it for the sex”, but he’s genuinely hurt by what she tells him about his life and how she judges it, and saddened by the breakup. He lets himself get hurt by her. Bear with me, this is important, because we see it happen again with Cassie and then he never lets it get to that point again, simply because of fear and trauma (I think), for example he’s the one to start the conversation about breaking up with Lisa.

Now. What about the “he was just talking about platonic things and feelings and people” possibility. Spoiler alert, it still doesn’t work.

1: Jo. Otherwise known in my head as beta-version-Charlie, it’s true that Jo is part of those “early seasons” characters, but that only adds to the inconsistency of the “priest POV”. Dean cared intensely about her, some people think of their relationship as romantic, but I really like the “big brother/father/protective” figure idea. Whatever you believe their relationship was, it was profound, I mean he was positively shattered when she died. Again, deep feelings, longterm feelings.

2: Benny. Like seriously. Dean spent a year in Purgatory with him, saw him as a brother despite the fact he was a vampire, helped him as much as he could while he was having troubles adapting to life on Earth again, protected him through thick and thin, went against his brother for him, against other hunters, against his core beliefs as a hunter himself, just. for. him. If that doesn’t tick all the boxes of things, feelings, people he wants to experience differently for you, then I truly don’t know what to tell you. And then there’s the whole thing with the ship between them, which I somewhat agree with but it isn’t cannon enough for this.

3: Garth. Yeah, sure, Dean is condescending towards him at first, but he does care about him a lot, and probably doesn’t understand why and how Garth cares about him so quickly, or offers support voluntarily. Garth is a bit of a role model to him, that scrawny, somewhat cringy, little man is better at life than Dean is, and Dean sees that. He’s bothered by it at first, but learns to respect Garth later on, and care about him. He relies on him as a hunter, and kind of as a friend too and he lets him be the new Bobby (which proves a lot of trust grew here) (also, much later on, Dean makes sure he stays out of hunting so Garth can have a happy family life, he also accepts the fact that he’s a werewolf and that his whole family is too). That Also counts as people experienced differently and for the first time.

4: Kevin. Or as I like to call him, sort-of-beta-version-Jack. Dean feels responsible for him, he jumps into the role of a father figure more than Sam ever does, as much as Sam cares about Kevin too. He is also completely shattered when he dies, like with Jo (which is a bit of the reason why I see Jo and Dean’s relationship as a Big brother-Little sister relationship, the vibe is similar (but not identical) to Kevin and Dean’s).

5: Jody. Jody is like the mother he never really had growing up. He is vulnerable around her, opens up, she’s basically family. I’m not going to write in Bobby, because he doesn’t count as “new things”, he was effectively his father. Here, Dean lets Jody become a sort of mother to him even though his memory of his mom isn’t as tarnished as his dad’s is. He lets her step into his mom’s sacred shoes. He lets her take care of him in a way. He lets her enter his life and be here for him. New people, new feelings.

6: Charlie. Charlie is his little sister, no doubt about it. She’s his role model, he loves her deeply, he lets himself care about her and feel insanely protective of her. He lets her be Sam #2. He lets himself become a big brother to a new Jo. To a new human. He lets his nerdy side out around her, he learns from her openness about being gay. He is comfortable around her. He is constantly worried about her. New feelings, new people, new things, first time blah blah blah you know the drill by now.

7: Ash. Yes, yes, I know, another “early on” character. But as I said, it keeps on just proving my point. First of all, I firmly believe Dean had a massive crush on Ash but that’s just my interpretation. He respects Ash and looks up to him, he wants to be a bit like him, confident, comfortable in his own life and skin, happy, and he lives in a friggin’ bar for godsakes. He is the epitome of what Dean wants to be at that point in time. He wants to be carefree like Ash is. He thinks Ash is highly intelligent, and has it made. He sees what a happy man can be, one without burdens from “the life”. Ash is a bit like the cooler version of Garth (no offense to Garth of course). Does that count as a role model? I don’t know. But it sure as hell shaped Dean’s hope for what his life could one day be. And Dean cares about Ash deeply as well, he was devastated when he died (he was devastated about the whole Roadhouse burning of course, but it’s clear Ash’s death shakes him quite a bit) and is genuinely happy when he gets to see him again in Heaven, when he sees Ash content and at peace, and the fact that Ash tells him he’ll see him again one day makes him smile (btw thats something I would’ve wanted to see in the finale, but nooooo they simply had to give us a train wreck instead).

So now that we’ve established those relationships he’s already had before (and I use the term relationship broadly here, it also includes all his friends), I’d like to point something out. There are of course other people he met along the way, other people he saved who inspired him, like the gay couple LARPing as him and Sam, Ellen (beta-version-Jody), in a way Tessa, Layla Rourke, Eileen, to name a few. But I feel as though the ones I cited were the main ones that truly show how shallow the “priest POV” interpretation is.

So where exactly does all this leave us? Well, friends, exactly where I intended it to be. That scene can’t be about potential women being longterm or serious romantic partners because that’s already happened. It can’t be about friends or monsters, because that’s already happened. Canonically. Several times, in several different flavors.

TL;DR: There is no way this confession scene is heterosexual, and it’s probably about Cas, but not just him, it’s also simply about Dean himself and his comfy closet getting not so comfortable anymore.

#spn analysis #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #bidean #cas #deancas #destiel

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franniebanana · 3 years

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CQL Rewatch - Episode 9

Let me preface this by saying we’re entering a period of episodes that I’m not that fond of. There’s nothing wrong with them really, but it’s just padding and a little bit of set-up for later arcs, but I personally think the set-up is unnecessary.

Anyhow, straight into it! I shouldn’t say “straight” when wangxian is on screen. I struggled to get a good shot, but the dichotomy between Nie Huaisang and wangxian here is hilarious to me. He’s such a good comedy act, flailing and being totally useless, other than being another warm body, but at the same time, he’s the only one really acting like a teenager here. Lan Wangji is always so cold and serious, while Wei Wuxian is a goof until he needs to be serious, but both of them are also extremely talented. We know Nie Huaisang isn’t an idiot, but I don’t get the impression he’s a great cultivator either.

I literally watched this scene this morning and totally missed this part. Lan Wangji stops Wei Wuxian from killing or attacking the puppets further, as he’s about to use his sword to defend them all. It’s a great little moment, actually, because it shows how Wei Wuxian is willing to do anything, but he’s not willing to murder innocent people if they can be saved. We already know, with all the Lan principles, that Wangji would not kill needlessly, but we don’t necessarily know that about Wei Wuxian. But he has morals, he has his own principles, and he’s not going to cast those aside for nothing.

Now, you could say he won’t do it now in the story, but what about later? What about Wen Chao? I’d say that’s totally different. That was revenge. And one of the things I like about this story is that it doesn’t shy away from revenge (something that a lot of Western media kind of disdains—we seem to be afraid to in any way make revenge out to be something good).

I can’t believe I managed to capture the exact moment that Lan Wangji used the Silencing spell on Nie Huaisang. I’m honestly really impressed with myself. Of course, it was totally by accident. I was initially going to just talk about how funny Nie Huaisang is again, because I love his flailing and physical comedy, and his expressions are fantastic. But can I talk about this glare that Yibo has right now? Haha, I love it. Again, if looks could kill. If I were Wei Wuxian here, I’d feel pretty satisfied for being the one not silenced at this moment. Honestly, it shows such a progression in their relationship: they’re really working as a team, no longer at odds with each other. It’s really apparent that they have become a team: it’s Nie Huaisang and WangXian—not Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji. There are also more moments where it feels like Wei Wuxian is really looking for Lan Wangji—like, it feels as if he’s more interested in the relationship than Lan Wangji. I don’t think it’s true at all, but that’s kind of what we’re shown. The thing is that Lan Wangji is so much more aloof and cold towards Wei Wuxian—very tsundere, I suppose. But of course, we know Lan Wangji is very conscious of Wei Wuxian.

I’m not going to pick on her specifically here, because overall, the fake instrument-playing is pretty hysterical. I do think she’s the worst at it, though, probably because she only does this in one scene or something. Wang Yibo has a double for a lot of the scenes where he’s playing the guqin, but what little we see is fine. Xiao Zhan is also okay—we know he isn’t really playing, but he does an okay job pretending to play. Like, his lip is on the flute. It kind of looks like Wen Qing doesn’t even have her lips on the flute—like she’s trying not to wreck her makeup. Anyway, I’m not going to harp (see what I did there?) on it—none of them are musicians.

Reminder to gif this part.

Any time Wei Wuxian comes to Lan Wangji’s defense is a good time, and coupled with a smile like this—my heart is melting, excuse me. I love these moments, because for just a few seconds, it feels like no one else is there—it’s just the two of them having a moment together. And Wei Wuxian is once again here proving how he’s loyal to Lan Wangji, how his friendship is worth something, and it’s not just skin-deep. I think Lan Wangji is touched here: the way his averts his gaze, as if he likes what Wei Wuxian is saying, but he still feels uncomfortable. Outside of his family, this is probably the closest relationship that Lan Wangji has ever had.

Wei Wuxian has a lot of cool magic, and it’s a shame we don’t get to see more of it. I like the idea that his talismans are more clever, if that makes sense. They aren’t just explosions or hitting people with waves of force to knock them around. He’s got golden nets, and talismans that can bind/bond people to each other, ones that can cause you to be pinned to the ground. It’s just very fun, and we don’t get to see a lot of that sort of magic in this world. Actually Lan Wangji has the Silencing spell, plus the body binding spell that he uses in the book, but that is, unfortunately, not in this series. And the first time you see it in the book is when he binds Wei Wuxian’s body so that he has to sleep right on top of Lan Wangji—great stuff.

WWX: So they are making use of my wisdom? LOL

Wei Wuxian stops to make a joke, saying he is most disturbed by the hallucinations because he has so many thoughts in his head—basically too smart for his own good here—and at the same time, poking fun at Lan Wangji, because he isn’t bothered by the hallucinations (ie. he doesn’t have many thoughts in his head). Okay, first of all, we know Wei Wuxian respects Lan Wangji a lot, so he is definitely joking, and it’s all in good fun. Lan Wangji rolls his eyes a bit, and he’s not bothered. He did, after all, tell Wei Wuxian to put the net over the other three so that he and Wei Wuxian could take care of the dire owl alone. He also respects Wei Wuxian and values him as a fellow cultivator and teammate. Second of all, again, Wei Wuxian is not an idiot! He’s smart! He’s clever! He’s not dumb! I don’t know who still needs to hear this, but I’m saying it again. I know it’s easy to put him into the typical BL “female” role: he’s smaller, he’s a bottom, blah blah blah. I honestly don’t like that at all. Every ship doesn’t have to be two opposites. It doesn’t have to be m/f, top/bottom, big/small, dark/light, smart/dumb, strong/weak. I’m aware of how the book is written and I’m aware of BL tropes in general, but I see two equals here. I like how they picked Wang Yibo, a shorter and younger man than Xiao Zhan, to play Lan Wangji. I like that they took out the fact that he has inhumanly strong arms. I like the different dynamic that it displays from the book characters. That isn’t to say that I don’t like the book—I love the book. The book is my favorite adaptation, both in terms of storytelling and in terms of plot. But that doesn’t mean that it’s perfect for me.

Anyway, enough ranting for now.

I love this shot. And I love how in sync they are in this fight—it’s like a dance. When I’ve heard about fight choreography in the past, I never associated it with the word “dance,” until I saw this series. I don’t know if it’s the costumes or the setting or the actors or what, but their motions are so fluid, so dance-like—it’s actually quite beautiful.

Oh, my god, look at that grin! I fucking love it!! Also, serious moment turns into a chance to tease Lan Wangji. I will accept it.

My sentimental heart loves how scared Wei Wuxian is for Lan Wangji here. All that time wearing the One Ring—I mean, holding the Yin Iron, is really wearing him down. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself). But jokes aside, I love how Wei Wuxian is right there, instructing him on how to handle what’s going on and to not lose control, while the others are just kind of clueless as to what is happening or how to help. And even after Lan Wangji snaps out of it and says they have to go to the Chang Clan, Wei Wuxian’s expression still is one of great concern, and I doubt it’s out of fear for what the waiter has just told him. I think he’s just really worried about Lan Wangji. This is the first time that Lan Wangji has even been like this, even in the face of great danger, and Wei Wuxian is shaken by it.

Other episodes: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 |

#cql #the untamed #wangxian #wei wuxian #lan wangji #nie huaisang #wen qing #wang yibo #xiao zhan #mdzs #mo dao zu shi #sorry this was short #but like I said I'm not really into a lot of these eps until indoctrination starts #also I wanted to make a comment about how the last bit was like scooby doo bc all of them solving myseries #cql rewatch

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howtosingit · 3 years

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I haven't had a chance to fully dive into all the goodies last nights video has produced.. nor have I had a chance to read all your thoughts which you know I crave love . I was dumb and watched 3 911 episodes last night ignoring my ig notification that ronen had shared anything so then I had to go to bed bc of work and work has been crqzy. But anyways I just wanted to hear some of your thoughts and say Tarlos officially fried my brain and I really want to write in the spare time I don't have bc of work 🙈🙊 their soft smiles, kisses, possibly meeting the fam, their date (and let's be honest Carlos was hot as fuck sauntering up to the bar announcing he was tks boyfriend... you know someone got laid that night) sorry not sorry 🙈

Anyways hit me with your thoughts when you're free if you want ❤

LISTEN, LAUREN. I am always up to share my thoughts because they never end and they just keep coming and I have to unleash them somehow or I will definitely explode.

My brain was just like, ALL CAPS SCREAMING, for about 7 hours yesterday, so I’ll leave you to explore that hot mess on my blog if you want. 😅 But, in the time since, I’ve seen a lot of discourse and stuff about the moments that we’ve seen, so I’m going to use this ask as an opportunity to weigh in on everything under the cut...

FIRST, CAN I JUST SAY that at the moment that I am writing this post, we are still trending at #5 and we’ve been in the 4-7 range for at least the past, like, IDK, 18-20 hours maybe?! I LOVE THIS FANDOM AND HOW WE LOSE OUR SHIT AT THE SMALLEST THINGS

Okay, so let me go through this thing and comment on the parts, and then give some general thoughts below:

LOVE that this is a promo entirely about the LGBTQIA+ characters and characters of color. Not exactly surprised that they still tried to put as much Rob Lowe in it as possible (that’s Fox/the writers’ M.O. it seems - to squeeze Rob/Owen in whether he fits or not). Some of his comments were a little awkward, I thought (referring to Paul’s trans storyline as “stuff” makes me go 😬), but whatever. He’s not the point of all of this, so that’s the last I’m going to talk about him.

TOMMY VEGA. I AM READY TO STAN. I love Gina Torres, I already love how much heart and soul she is giving just in these quick peeks, I cannot wait to see her in action!

Also let me use this moment to say that while it’s obvious I’m not getting my Grace + Carlos friendship (that’s fine if it stays in fandom, I’ll live), I’m SO GLAD that her and Tommy are gonna be friends! One promo mentioned that Judd has known Tommy before, so it would not surprise me if they’ve been friends for awhile. LOVE THAT.

SPECULATION: This gives me a good time to just throw out a theory that I’ve been thinking about... We know Owen and Gwen are hosting Tommy at their place for a backyard dinner. I assume her husband may be there as well, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Judd and Grace are there too.

I ALSO would not be surprised if this is when one of the nights at Carlos’s place happens, like a parallel of the two dinner parties. That at least keeps every main character involved in both locations. We shall see though.

So this gathering at the firehouse seems like it’s going to be a pretty big scene, probably for episode 1. I think everyone’s gathered so that Owen can announce he’s in remission (we’ll hear him tell TK first, which is the hug that they share earlier in the trailer, I think).

But this gathering also includes a Tommy/Grace moment, a Tarlos moment, the others doing other things kind of moments. It’ll serve the same purpose as a lot of the season 1 bar scenes, and I’m so glad they’ve moved those to the firehouse. I want that place to really start feeling like a home this year.

(I want all of the locations to feel a little more grounded and special, if I’m being honest. Like, I’m SO GLAD that Carlos’s place is going to be a key location this season.)

There are now two instances of Carlos being next to Gwen (standing next to her while Owen makes an announcement and now sitting next to her at the table), so we better get some dialogue between them or I WILL BE SO UPSET. I WANT GWEN TO STAN CARLOS AS MUCH AS I DO.

EVERYONE IS SO CUTE IN THIS SCENE OKAY

TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS TARLOS

Like, WTF is TK’s face in this moment?! He looks so shy and bashful but also so happy and mushy and soft and in love. And then the way that Carlos softens because of how soft TK look?!?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!?! WHY AM I CRYING.

Seriously, I have to know what they’re talking about though to make TK fucking melt like that.

Emergency stuff blah blah blah

TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS TARLOS KISS

IT’S SO FUCKING CASUAL AND PERFECT AND NATURAL AND LITERALLY JUST LIKE A “I came over to grab this food from you but since I’m here I might as well grab a kiss because I can’t help myself”

AND LIKE... Carlos just leans right into it?!?!?!? like it’s something that they do all the time?!?!?! WTF I LOVE THEM

Mateo watches this kiss and kind of looks like he was talking to Carlos, TK, or both of them, so I love that they’re like in the middle of conversation but still like “wait let me kiss my bf because he’s close by and so hot and I love him” SCREAMING

ALSO LET ME BE THIRSTY BUT CARLOS’S SHOULDERS AND BACK?!?!?! TK’S FUCKING ARMS?!?! I’M SO DAMN GAY

Speaking of arms: this rando bartender at the wrestling match (so Covid doesn’t last long on Lone Star, I’m assuming like 2 episodes maybe?) -- I love that they tried to put him in a tight shirt and make him look like a possible threat or something and I’m just like 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

IT’S LIKE THEY’VE NEVER SEEN CARLOS REYES BEFORE

AND THEN THE FUCKING GREEK GOD HIMSELF SAUNTERS UP WEARING A TIGHT FUCKING POLO - CHEST OUT, ARMS JACKED, HANDS IN HIS POCKETS TO DRAW ATTENTION TO HIS DICK AND I’M JUST SCREAMING AT THIS POINT

BOYFRIEND

But, like, seriously, there is no comparison. Carlos is fucking Hercules over here and this no-name wannabe boyband member could be a sand-colored rock for all I care.

YOU CANNOT COMPETE WITH CARLOS REYES, DON’T EVEN TRY IT

I do feel like these two clips (the calendar line and then Carlos’s line) are spliced together but they might not be back-to-back, and I would love to see how TK responds to the flirting before Carlos comes over

HIS FACE IS KILLING ME THOUGH WHEN CARLOS COMES UP

BLESS RONEN

I feel like I *think* I know what he’s thinking, but I also feel like I don’t. Certainly, the scene seems to end with them both smiling and happy, but I wonder if there will be a conversation about jealousy or something?! IDK BUT THEY’RE DEFINITELY GONNA TALK. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY SAY.

Someone posted how happy TK is going to be to have a boyfriend who is committed enough to him to be jealous, unlike Alex who didn’t care and cheated on him. I certainly think this could be a great moment for them to establish what this new relationship means for them, and I’m excited to see what they writers have planned.

I JUST LOVE CARLOS REYES THOUGH OKAY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

How many times is Fox gonna use that clip of him holding his gun though? We get it, he raises his gun. I’ve seen it like 7 times at this point.

I’m not complaining, really. I’ll take his face where I can get it.

LOVING the Marjan clips

LOVING the Grace/Judd clips

LOVING the Paul clips

I LOVE ALL OF MY FAVES

CANNOT WAIT TO SEE THEM DEVELOP THIS YEAR

Hearing Rafa talk about using his voice and speaking for his community just slaughters my heart, I love this man so fucking much and I’m so happy to be discovering him at the start of his career because he is going to go on to do big things and make the world a better place with his positivity and light and love and I’m so excited to follow him on that journey I just love him okay

ALSO THE MAN LOOKS SO FUCKING GOOD WHAT ARE THOSE ARMS I WANT TO DIE

THE FARMER’S MARKET SCENE

Are they shopping for food for the dinner party they’re hosting?! Maybe!

WE MEET SOME OF CARLOS’S PEOPLE

There is so much speculation surrounding who these two people could be, and I’ve heard some super interesting theories about Carlos’s backstory.

I’m gonna be basic though and stick with the fact that I think they’re his parents.

AND IF THEY ARE HIS PARENTS, THEY SEEM SO HAPPY TO MEET TK.

His dad/the man, like, shakes TK’s hand with so much gusto, a giant smile on his face

And Carlos smiles as he hugs his mom/the woman, and she’s smiling too

THEY ALL JUST SEEM SO HAPPY

I CAN’T BELIEVE WE MIGHT ACTUALLY BE AVOIDING THE HOMOPHOBIC PARENTS STORYLINE COMPLETELY

Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW HOW MUCH I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THAT TRAUMA

I mean, I don’t know for sure, we’re going to have to wait for the episode. But god, do I hope for it with every fiber of my being. I want their trauma, if they have to have it, to be separate from their sexuality. They’ve done so well with TK so far, I want the same for Carlos. Let the story be fresh, let it be different, LET US HAVE DIVERSE GAY STORYLINES.

Y’ALL THE TEAM HANGING OUT AT CARLOS’S PLACE

I CANNOT

I’LL NEVER BE OVER IT

HE’S PART OF THE CREW. HE’S PART OF THE FAMILY.

IT’S EVERYTHING THAT I COULD EVER WANT FOR HIM OKAY

I’M SO FUCKING HAPPY

THEY ARE SO HAPPY

WE ARE ALL SO HAPPY

I’M CRYING

I’M DEAD

LOL that was a lot but so was this promo.

Now, some somewhat sobering thoughts...

We all know season 1 had a real diversity and inclusion problem, we’ve seen the numbers. We also know that during the promotion for season 1, we ALSO got a diversity promo focusing on the LGBTQIA+ characters and the characters of color. I love that Fox wants to highlight the incredibly talented actors and characters that they have, but all of it means nothing if they are still tokens on the show.

I have full faith that season 2 will be better, that some of the justified anger and frustration made it back to the writers and they internalized it and then make some real changes. However, because we did get a diversity promo last year, I have to remain a little cautious. This promo doesn’t really mean anything and if, somehow, season 2 goes the way season 1 did, it will be another instance of Fox using the characters of color to draw people in without actually giving them screentime and development. Which is a HUGE PROBLEM. So... I’m very excited and very hopeful, but also slightly wary.

Similarly, I’ve seen people say that they’re worried that, while there is so much Tarlos in this promo, this might be all the Tarlos we get this season. I don’t share the same concern, but like the diversity issue, I understand where that comes from. There was a lot of Tarlos in season 1′s promos and, as we now know, they got screentime in episodes 1-3 and then virtually nothing until episode 10.

I kind of lost track of the filming schedule, but I think before they went on the holiday/extended hiatus, they filmed the first 5-6 episodes? Maybe? And we know that we’re getting 14 total this season, which means it’s possible that they haven’t even filmed half of them.

I think the footage that we got in this promo is from, like, 3 or 4 episodes max. Definitely episodes 1 and 2, maybe 4, possibly 5. The crossover is episode 3 and I am still expecting to barely see Carlos in it - I just think it’s going to be very fire heavy one, especially with the members of the 118 coming in to steal screentime. He could be in one scene, maybe? Idk, I’m just not expecting a lot from that episode.

And sure, we could get a lot of Tarlos at the beginning and then nothing for a whole string of episodes, but that also just doesn’t seem possible with the way they’ve restructured the relationship dynamics. Like, it really does seem like Carlos is going to be a part of the family this year, so I think it will be easier to include him and harder to delete him entirely. (Please let him at least appear in every single episode, I don’t want to be so fucking angry like last year.)

Also, if all of these scenes stay in the episodes, we are getting AT LEAST 4 Tarlos conversations - the firehouse, the wrestling match, the farmer’s market, the flirting by the truck - and other scenes of them being in the same space as part of a group. I’m sure there will be even more that we’re just not seeing. I’m very optimistic for this season and for the Tarlos content, and I really don’t think we’ll see the front-loaded imbalance that we saw last season. I think when they get back to filming the later episodes, there will be a good amount of Tarlos content in those, too!

I will say, though, that I am worried we’ve just seen the only kiss that they’ll share in the first 5 or so episodes. I’m just so used to network TV placing a limit on gay kisses, and Idk how much that has really changed in recent years. I truly love this kiss, and I hope there are more, but I would not be surprised if we end the season having only gotten like 2-3. (PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG.)

ONLY TWO MORE WEEKS UNTIL WE FIND OUT FOR SURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#911 lone star #ls spoilers #ls speculation #tarlos #this is like EVERYTHING that is taking up space in my brain okay #mtnofgrace #asks

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madsdefencesquad · 3 years

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It's frustrating that the majority of this is us fans online now think Madison is selfish, unreasonable and asking Kevin to give up his acting career. Like did we watch the same episode? And is it obvious that this reaction to Madison was not the writers' intention at all. Even producer K.J. Steinberg had to defend Madison to an interviewer about being selfish. Because they seemed to have turned alot of the online audience against Madison, it seems like they will have to put in a lot of work to

I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how much I erupted at the general audience absolutely ripping Mads for this episode when she did not show a single shred of selfishness in this episode. Like not one! Of course, one can argue that there are some things that can be re-worded or whatever but the overall message is still very apparent. * SIGHS * In saying that though, I do have some thoughts on Kevin which we’ll discuss below (warning: it’s gonna get looooong LOL)

Kevin gets a call that shooting has changed locations to Vancouver and he refuses to go because of his commitment to Madison and their kids despite it obviously destroying him.

Like, look at how devastated he is. And then he turns around and tries to hide his devastation but Madison sees through it and she calls him out by asking him what the hell has happened and he explains why, and what does Madison do?!!

She PUSHES him to go despite knowing that she has entered her last trimester, the most crucial part in a pregnancy because hellooooooo she can give birth any time now (!!!!). Like, Madison knows Kevin so well that if he doesn’t finish the movie that means so much to him and that he’s worked so hard for, then he’ll just be miserable, and Madison doesn’t want that for him because she cares about him. LIKE SO MUCH SO THAT SHE SACRIFICES HAVING HIM THERE WHEN SHE NEEDS HIM THE MOST aspodihsfjkl

Like this is her after she lets him go. Madison literally only had to give him a quick kiss and a “Go on and pack” and Kevin, for his part, didn’t even hesitate nor try to fight her that he should stay because he knows that he should. He just went!! And look, I’m not trying to gripe on Kevin here but he could have at least shown even just a tad resistance despite Madison’s logical argument, but let’s not get into that now...

BUT what I will go over is THE POINTS MADE by Randall when it came to Kevin and taking care of people and being committed to them.

Let me point out this particular gem in Season 4, episode 16 between Randall and Kevin when it came to taking care of Rebecca and knowing what was best for her. Randall says,

“And how’s that Kev? Because of all the times you’ve been spending with her for the past few weeks? Because you took her to one doctor’s appointment? I’ve been taking care of mom for twenty years... We both know at any minute, you can take off for Morrocco and do a movie...”

Now look, we can rationalise either one of the brother’s sides in this confrontation, but we cannot take away the truth from Randall’s words here. If we replaced it with Madison’s situation, then this is what we’ll have:

Quarantining together, Kevin’s been taking care of Madison for a few months, about 4-6 give or take, and has been there for her during some appointments (I say “some” because COVID has changed things), and he obviously has been of great help to her mentally, emotionally and physically. However, Kevin has not known Madison for longer than two years and even now, they’re still getting to know each other. But Madison obviously has known herself all her life. And because of COVID, we know that Kevin hasn’t exactly been working, but now that he is, ooop Randall’s words about Kevin having to go and jet off at any minute actually occurs... Kevin has to go to Vancouver in just hours notice.

Even though Kevin thrives at taking care of other people and he’s really good at it, Kevin still hasn’t grasped what it means to truly devote themselves to someone sacrificially. And I mean, putting someone else’s needs before his.

Let’s go to the very controversial argument in the s4 finale where Randall says:

“How dare you pretend that you give a rat’s ass about what anyone else wants other than you? You want mom to spend more time with the family because you want mom to decide with you. You, you, you.”

Now, this line is really crucial in Kevin and Madison’s “argument” in the bedroom. Of course, Randall’s words are much harsher but there’s a truth there: when Kevin proposes his jet-setting family idea to Madison, his persuasion technique is to glam it up (”what about private jet-setting all over the world”) to almost entice Madison to decide with him with what he wants/pictures. AND when Madison reminds him of his commitment to her and the kids, Kevin goes for the offense of “I didn’t realise that where we live was as important as being a family.”

Of course, one can argue that yes Kev, home is where the heart is blah blah, but the point here is Kevin wasn’t taking into consideration what the other person wants, and in this case what Madison wants/pictures, exactly what Randall was saying before.

And then Randall goes:

“You have no idea what you’re talking about, Kevin. You have no idea what it means to actually take care of people... I stayed and took care of our family... you’ll never know what it’s like to devote yourself to anyone other than yourself.”

Now, the meaty bit. Yes, over the seasons we’ve seen Kevin grow and mature and develop. Yes, we’ve seen him devote himself to the betterment of Nicky. BUT, we have not actually seen him show the kind of sacrificial devotion/commitment that Randall was talking about when it comes to taking care of a family, and in this case their own family.

Randall sacrificed his dreams of going to a college that he wanted so badly to go to because he knew that his mother needed him. That he couldn’t leave her alone. That her needs came first... at least for then. But because he was so devoted and committed to taking care of his mother, Randall not only graduated and became successful afterwards, he also got the best of them all: Beth.

Now, with Kevin. Madison is Kevin’s opportunity to DO WHAT RANDALL DID (”What would Randall do?” right, Kev?) for his own family.

Madison wasn’t selfishly asking him to quit acting for her or for the kids, she was asking him to think through his commitment, his all in, and what that actually truly means for him in the context of the above (my girl @thesocietalmisfit made a more eloquent post here).

The writers are telling us to focus on Kevin, to not take our eyes off him because he’s in a pivotal moment now: will he change and finally make decisions for other people apart from himself or will he not and stay the same and lose those whom he cares for and loves?

Anywayy, I’m sorry this took such a long turn, I just really needed to get that out of my chest. But as far as the audience is concerned and how the writers need to do a lot more work to turn people around into going for Madison I have two thoughts:

1. Hating on Madison in this episode for the number of ridiculous reasons all stemming from a form of misogyny yeah I went there, shows that the general TIU demographic are the kinds of people, who needs to be spoon fed information/nuance/implication and sometimes even just what’s right in front of them that they still somehow miss. And I’m sorry, but if you fall in this category, then you’re not going to enjoy not just the development of Kevison’s journey but the others’ also. Remember how much flack Kate was getting for being “awful” at Toby but this one ep of her going full queen of empowerment and everyone’s suddenly Team Kate? Yeah, the audience is fickle. And look, there will always be haters, and haters gonna hate for no reason (or the most absurd), so the writers can’t do much about that.

2. There’s a reason why they’re showing us Kevison already at this very important cross-roads in as early as episode 3 and now 5 and that’s because they’ve got all the loved-up, full romantic Kevison (that they know is the greatest appeal to the audience) coming. I really don’t doubt it. So many people turned into Kevison fans literally after watching them be all adorbs in the premiere and in ep 3 when they were all vulnerable. IMAGINE when they’re actually showing them fully in love with each other + being dedicated parents? THE. SERVE.

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dappercritter · 4 years

Text

Random She-Ra Season 5 Thoughts: THE FINAL RAMBLING

Yep. I finally got all my crazy absurd thoughts about this gay adventure-romance-drama cartoon summarized into one incoherent yet fun to read computer document/article! ...four months after the show itself ended. Oh well, no one’s perfect. Anyways, there are a whole lot more insane observations than ever before, so I had to put it below a link so this thing didn’t back up my blog or any of yours. Hope you enjoy reading through these as much I enjoyed spouting them for no discernible reason other than I felt like it!

-I feel that since is the last season, I ought to talk about an important part of the show that I’ve been putting off: the animation. It’s… okay. It’s definitely smoother than what the original 80’s show and it’s brother series (heheh) looked like, but at the same time it still seems to suffer from similar limitations which causes some distracting moments of stiffness. But other than that, it’s pretty good. It’s no Titmouse or Studio Mir but it looks good and it gets the job done.

-After all, let’s not forget: “Imperfection is beautiful!”

-Even when things are at their lowest, Adora is a jock with a heart of gold.

-Horde Prime and the Galactic Horde’s aesthetic feels like a mixture of Catholicism, Scientology, Heaven’s Gate, and modern Microsoft, and honestly, that just makes him creepier.

-Speaking of Horde Prime, he didn’t waste any time with destroying Bright Moon. …apparently.

-Furthermore, on the topic of his giant holographic messages, WAS THAT A FREAKING MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE MOVIE REFERENCE?!

-Boy, Glimmer and Catra sure got along quickly! It’s almost like they magically understand each other because they both assumed leadership roles and screwed up big time! …I guess.

-Either that or this season is going to be a speedrun.

-Wow, the Rebellion sure got used to having a once-thought-dead king as well as a known enemy general/abuser running around their camp awful fast, didn’t they?

-Mara’s got a spaceship, a cyber girlfriend, a magic grandma, a dragon, a tragic backstory, AND a force ghost?! Dang, even in death, the girl’s got it all. No wonder everyone likes her!

-(*me looking at the TV rating at the start of episode*) “Why is language in there? Is there surprise cuss words or something in this season?” (*sees Horde Prime seize control of a clone for the first time*) “HOLY FREAKING SH—oh that’s why.”

-Applause to the crew for making the “dinner with Prime” scene for making a meal between a sparkly princess, a catgirl, and alien cult leader feel even more uncomfortable than it had a right to.

-(*me throughout the season whenever a clone was onscreen*) Is that Hordak? Is that him? Is that him? Is that him right there? Oh it is—oh no wait. … Is that h—

-Extra applause for having Glimmer learn from her grey-area wetwipe phase and refusing to sell out her friends again whilst telling the imperialist cult leader where to stick it.

-I would pay a sizeable portion of my life savings to hear what a Scorpia and Swift Wind duet would sound like.

-In fact, I’d double it if it was just Scorpia singing.

-Ah what the heck. I would triple it for an entire She-Ra musical!

-As happy as I am to see to see Entrapta interacting with the other princesses again, I have to say that their big reunion left me with some mixed feelings. Here’s a quick rundown:

-Entrapta, a grown autistic woman, being led around on a leash by non-neurodivergent teenagers—again: that’s bad.

-The Princesses confronting Entrapta about joining the Horde: that’s good!

-The Princesses blaming all their problems with the Horde bots on Entrapta’s actions and her hyper fixations alone: that’s bad.

-Entrapta explaining herself, admitting that she regrets her mistakes, and getting the Princesses to understand that she thinks and communicates differently, but in spite of that, she really does want help find Glimmer: that’s good!

-Entrapta never gets to call out the Princesses for how poorly they treated her: that’s bad.

-Entrapta saves the day and goes to space: that’s good!

-Scorpia and Entrapta still haven’t interacted even though the former is with the Rebellion in the first place because she went to look for her because she is her best friend: …can I go home now?

-How nice! Michah finally got to shapeshift!

-And he’s rocking that She-Ra outfit to boot!

-So is Darla a back up of Light Hope or do they just run on the same operating system and have the same voice?

-I could watch an entire season of Adora, Bow, and Entrapta going on space adventure in a rundown ship with their custom-made spacesuits, tbh.

-Is anyone else weirded out that Catra’s younger self looked at her in her flashback(?).

-Actually what WAS happening there, anyhow?

-(*watching Bow’s spacewalk to save Glimmer*) “Is that a Gravity reference?” asked the man who never saw Gravity.

-Speaking of spacewalks, how did Glimmer survive those precious few seconds in space? Does the teleporter teleport a breathable atmosphere too?

-Also, Catra, WHY did you think it would be a good idea to teleport Glimmer into space? I know you had a plan and the ship was right there but… Ah, never mind.

-Not that I’m complaining but Glimmer’s apology to the rest of the friend squad for her HORRIBLE plan last season went… surprisingly quickly.

-You know as cool as The Star Siblings are, being a quirky band of space-travelling siblings with cool powers and some trans rep to boot, I only have one small problem with them: weren’t there already Star Sisters on Etheria back in season 1?

-That doesn’t sound right, but I don’t know enough about Masters of the Universe characters to dispute it.

-Entrapta confirmed pan, objectum, AND horny on main. Dang girl, you’re gonna have fun whether you got Hordak back or not…

-“The Velvet Glove” is both a menacing and stupid name for a decadent overlord’s mothership.

-Wait, it’s from the 80’s canon? Oh. That kind of explains it, actually.

-Goshdangit, I wanted Catra to face punishment for her crimes, but I didn’t think that would involve going to evil alien conversion therapy!

-Nor did I want her to die! For a second. Actually, since it obviously wasn’t going to last I was… weirdly okay with that part???

-Horde Prime seems awfully okay with Catradora. I mean he’s still super creepy and manipulative about it, but also oddly progressive for an evil brainwashing cult leader.

-(*Adora transforms into a She-Ra through seer will*) First of all, called it. Second of all, WOAH MAMA now that’s a glow up!

-Wrong Hordak did not have to be a thing, and yet, I’m glad that he is.

-Hordak remembers the LUVD crystal and Entrapta… Hordak remembers Entrap—! It’s happening! Oh my gosh, it’s happening! Everybody stay calm!

-Wow, Entrapta didn’t have to be so forgiving of Catra for everything she’s done to her but she did. Only I’m not sure if that was Entrapta taking the high road or the low road.

-Or which road the crew took for that matter.

-I remember when I thought those “Chipped AUs” floating around here on tumblr were just something the fans came up with and that chipping people was not an actual despicable thing Prime does in canon. I miss those days.

-I know it’s not the same as before or the original design, but True She-Ra’s designs and powers? I think they slappin’.

-Hooray, Adora and Catra are finally making up! And it only took four and half seasons worth of communication failures, toxic villainous behaviour, and physical violence for Catra to snap out of it!

-…We can go back to Entrapdak now, right?

-Poor Elberon. First they unknowingly adopt a double agent then get invaded by the Horde and now they’re getting brainwashed and chipped by the Galactic Horde. They might be a cute village, but they got some pretty lousy security.

-You know it’s cute that Micah is doing his best to be friends with Frosta and get back in touch with his dad-side, but look I can’t be the only one worried about how the local King is a less proactive leader than the princesses or the known war criminal/abuser, right?

-“The Perils of Peekablue” or as I like to call it, “You Thought ‘Boys Night Out’ Caught You Emotionally Off-guard? Hah! Watch This.”

-You know I didn’t think Scorpfuma would be a thing aside that one moment of flirting near the end of season 4, but they really pushed for it to be a thing! This is… actually pretty great! Perfuma’s not perfect, and I would have appreciated giving them a little more time to bond and form some real chemistry, but at least she reciprocates Scorpia’s sweetness instead of rebuffing it in increasingly aggressive fashion.

-I’m not sure what’s more concerning: that Mermista set a boat on fire, that it’s worded like she had a fling as part of some experimental phase, or that Sea Hawk is turned on by this.

-Peekablue might not be real, (I think?) but he is one dapper dude! Female-to-male redesigns could learn a thing or two from him.

-It involved them getting stung and seizuring, but that was a heck of a way to reintroduce Double Trouble! I swear I got watching them cycle through their transformations in some sort of physical reaction.

-Or maybe that was just me worrying about their wellbeing…

-Okay, I get the Chips are huge, and actually rather clever threat, but how do these characters get chipped in the first place? I get there are chipped people who spread the chips throught the population but where do they get those from???

-Do one of those Horde Prime drones just sneak behind someone, slap a chip on their nape then hand them a whole bagfull and say, “Beep boop beep, Horde Prime’s Light, blah blah blah. Alright have fun, kiddo”?

-Or is it some sort of Alien: Covenant deal where they’re just floating around and Lord help you if one sticks to you?

-HOLY CRAP THEY ACTUALLY GOT SCORPIA TO SING! AND SHE WAS GREAT!

-Oh shoot. Guess I owe the crew twice my life savings now…

-Entrapdak might be what got me into this show, but it’s Double Trouble that kept me around, so you can imagine how happy I was to see them make their grand reappearance!

-Conversly, you can imagine my disappointment when they just disappeared until the finale.

-And on that note: HOW DID YOU GUYS LOSE DOUBLE TROUBLE?!

-You forgot to cherish them, didn’t you?

-So, Scorpia sacrifices herself just after finding a new girlfriend and gaining some newfound confidence, Mermista and Sea Hawk are split up,and Double Trouble didn’t join the main cast. Why can’t you just have fun like a normal cartoon, show?

-Gosh, I love me some shifting title cards!

-Is it just me or did they sneak in some more Annihilation references on Krytis?

(-Said the guy who was too chicken to watch the movie and just read about it and watched a few clips online.)

-(*audibly sighs*) FINE. I guess I like Catradora now. Are you happy now, SPOP Crew? ARE YOU?!

-Hooray, Catra’s got a emotional support animal! And they’re a shapeshifting magic alien cat. Those are the best kind!

-Is it weird that I knew that weird glowing stuff on Krytis was just magic all along, or was it just not hidden very well. Anyways, I like Krytis. I like that we got to see a truly alien world with its own form of magic.

-Plus, we got a logical advancement of the magic versus science subtheme with magic being Horde Prime’s weakness! Neato!

-Getting back on the “which is worse?” wagon for a second, I don’t know what feels less right: that Wrong Hordak’s big revelation and his resolution to free himself and his brothers and friends from Horde Prime’s control is played humorously, or that Real Hordak should be the one having this moment.

-That bit with Castaspella and Shadow Weaver where she tells Casta about Etheria being a living thing with inherent magical property, or whatever, while we got a peaceful shot of some boar creatures sleeping was actually kind of nice. It would have been nicer though if it wasn’t part of a power hungry abuser’s obvious scheme. If only there was a kindly old witch lady character who was in touch with nature and knew just what to say when someone was feeling downOH WAIT.

-Furthermore… Why did Shadow Weaver and Castaspella need to have romantic tension?

-Seriously though, where’s our Madame Razz quota this season? Where’s my supportive magic grandma timelord at, yo?

-Yup, they speedran this season.

-I’m actually really disappointed we didn’t see more of an intergalactic new rebellion rising up to fight Horde Prime’s forces across the universe. Especially if it meant we got to see more Star Sibling action!

-Again, I adore Wrong Hordak but I keep wondering what was keeping the crew from just bringing in Original Flavour Hordak. (You know, aside from teasing us Entrapdak fans and trying to distract us with a loveable new character in the meantime.) I mean he could have done the whole infiltrating the clone squads and tricking them bit, too.

-Heck, he could have done the wink, too!

-I’d gleefully point out Loo-Kee’s cameo this season but apparently, they already made some several seasons ago. That’s what I get for not rewatching the 80’s show and training my eyes first.

-(*sees Erelandians*) Are those freaking Toads and Toadettes?

-So, what’s keeping them from just hitting Spinerella’s chip again? Besides emotional baggage and gale force winds, I mean.

-Perfuma coming out of a cave scared out of her wits, demanding to know who’s there, clinging to her friends as soon as they come back, and balling her eyes out is a big, BIG mood.

-Frosta absolutely decking Catra in the face was nestled somewhere between cathartic and excessive.

-Netossa spraying her with a bottle of water on the other hand…

-Oh, so Greyskull was the name of a Rebel Squad! I think. Meh, the important thing is we got an explanation and it still sounds cool.

-Leave it to a couple of dads to make a secret message out of a dad joke.

-You know I made fun of Light Hope for being creepy, but I swear that avatar from the Spire is even creepier. I don’t know if it’s her face—those dang blank eyes, man—or just that it she’s less animated than the real thing, but it just felt… off.

-Aww, Noelle made Netossa’s princess weakness illustrations! So cute!

-Forget episodes that deserves Emmys, Keston John deserves one for voicing Hordak, Horde Prime, all the clones, and several minor villains and giving each and every single one a distinct voice! Where my king’s respect, eh?

-Yes, Catra you had a small disagreement with Hordak. …Over sending his girlfriend and your “friend” to DIE IN A LITERAL LIVING HELL.

-Sorry, I just had to get that out of my system.

-Why does Perfuma get pressured to get angry and go wild when Entrapta’s the one who’s had it the worst out of all them? Why can’t my gamer girl go berserk, dammit!?

-Okay, but really, how do these fricking chips work??? Are they parasite devices who store Horde Prime’s Baptizing Dew then slowly pump it into their host’s bodies? Do they have their own nervous systems? Are they technorganic? Also, how and why do we need to make these chips are bigger threat then they need to be?

-Horde Prime showing up on Hordak’s throne in grand Killing Joke style and casually throwing shades at his brother’s overblown attempts to impress him is pretty awesome, but it feels strangely underdeveloped. Hordak’s not there to have his hard work insulted and we never got to see Adora have any similar encounter with Hordak here before, so unless you look at it from the perspective of someone who has been here before in the Horde story like Catra it lacks the dramatic weight it should have had.

-Scorpia resisting the chip to save her new friends was pretty great, though.

-I swear, when they got to the scene where Adora and the others figured out that Shadow Weaver was grooming her so she could use her to get to the Heart of Etheria, I was mouthing “You B***H” through the whole thing.

-They really brought back Etherian deep magic just so they had something to make Micah threatening. …okay.

-Okay, the rest of “Failsafe” messed me up, so here’s a rundown on all the other messy thoughts I had while the show ripped my heart and ground it to dog food:

-Entrapta and Hordak reuniting: Yay!

-Swift Wind yanking her away before she can get through to him: Boo.

-Catra encouraging Adora to try and take care of herself for a change: Yay!

-Adora hurts Catra and she runs away: Boo.

-Adora finally calling out Shadow Weaver on what an utterly horrible person she is: Yay!

-Adora resolves to risk sacrificing herself to save the world: Bo—okay, seriously, was all this suffering really necessary, show?

-I know I mentioned in my previous She-Ra random thoughts that I supported Glimmadora, but I am okay with Catradora and Glimbow ending up canon. The only problem I have is how rushed they feel—moreso with Glimbow. With Catradora, the crew had an entire season to make it work again and they took it. Glimbow it feels like they were down to the last few episodes and went, “Oh right, we were gonna do something with these two!” then did their darndest to fit in some chemistry in between all the other stuff going down.

-As ominous as it was, the music where Horde Prime starts hacking Etheria honestly SLAPS.

-Okay, I know everyone is magic or something, but I am legit surprised getting electrocuted in water didn’t kill the heroes right then and there.

-Sea Hawk tries to flirt with his girl even as she’s trying to kill him. Truly, he is a man of taste.

-What do you know, Shadow Weaver can only do good when she’s (canonically!) punch drunk.

-You know a whole lot of this could have been avoided if Holo-Mara was Adora’s mentor instead of Light Hope.

-When I think about it, it was actually really clever to make Horde Prime the final villain for Adora to face: a domineering decadent man who’s been in power forever against a humble emotionally vulnerable compassionate young woman.

-Not to mention the divide between cult-like oppression and progressive freedom. Or something.

-Holy crap, did the First Ones get a great freaking a Great Old One for a guard dog?!

-So, you guys seriously didn’t bring Angella back to reunite with her family OR mention her all season after the impact her death had on everyone all last season until Glimmer needs a power-up at the last possible minute and then you never bring her up again. That is absolutely a dick move in bird culture.

-Entrapta’s hacker sticker gives me life. Gamer girl gremlin princess forever!

-On the one hand, I’m disappointed that Adora and Catra don’t get to have an awesome couple battle against the security monster and win. On the other hand, Shadow Weaver is finally dead. YAY!

-With apologies to the writers and especially Lorraine Toussaint. She did splendidly bringing this character to life and even if I hated Shadow Weaver, I adored the effort she put into making her one of the most emotionally complex villains I’ve ever seen.

-Words cannot, will not, and will never describe the pure joy that I experienced when I first saw Hordak’s big scene: standing up to and disowning his tyrant brother, saving Entrapta, declaring his love to her (albeit in a nicely lowkey fashion), and then throwing Horde Prime to his apparent doom Disney style with Entrapta cheering him with sheer glee. GOSH, it was everything I could have hoped for from this season!

-Now if only they kept the deleted scene where they got a moment to themselves before Prime body-jacked him again like the creepy sonuvabich he is.

-Horde Prime just wouldn’t be a religious villain if he didn’t tell everyone to burn.

-Bonus points for actually trying to burn the frigging planet.

-Aside from the idea of Adora switching to wearing a She-Ra themed dress everywhere in the future, the future vision was really quite sweet, and seeing Prime step in to ruin it made it all the more impactful.

-Can I just say that it’s absolutely wonderful that the show, for all it’s flaws, said “**** senseless heroic sacrifices”?

-BREAKING: Lesbian cat finally makes up with her jock ex, has a canon kiss so pure it saves the world!

-In other news, Catradora fans are still spoiled rotten.

-Wow, look at all those character comebacks they skipped through! Look, there’s the chefs from Dryl, Double Trouble, Huntara, the Horde Trio, Imp, Madame Razz—are you kidding me?!

-Grumbling aside, I actually find the idea of the Horde Trio and Imp getting involved in a G-rated science-fantasy version of the first Hangover movie quite amusing.

-Oh dang, they pulled a Castle in the Sky with the Velvet Glove!

-As nice as it was to see Aodra save Hordak from Horde Prime and destroy the latter through exorcism via sheer compassion, I’m rather disappointed we never got to see She-Ra go full Metal Gear Solid Rising: Revengence on any creepy old cult leaders.

-Yeah, it would have gone against the “love conquers all” set up, but love takes on many forms, does it not? So, why can it not manifest as cleaving your mortal enemies with extreme prejudice to save your loved ones?

-Furthermore, in addition to Holo-Mara being a better mentor, Hordak raising Adora instead Shadow Weaver could have prevented a lot of similar problems. Maybe. Possibly.

-Eh whatever, he has a lifetime’s worth of fanfiction to make up for it.

-ENTRAPDAK IS CANON, ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD.

-And so is Catradora and Glimbow! That’s nice, too.

-Aww, how sweet of them to skip through Catra and Scorpia, and Glimmer and Micah’s big reunions! It’s not like we’ve been waiting forever for this stuff or anything. HahahahAHAHAHDHAHAHFHAFHKSADJHFKAJHDfine.

-And so it all ends with everyone either friends, in love, or both, as heroes decide to make up for it all with a grandiose sequel promising more exciting space adventures we probably won’t see! HOORAY!

-All snarky ranting aside, I actually really enjoyed the finale. It was exciting, heartwarming, and above all it ended on happy, hopeful note without leaving too many frustrating questions unanswered. (*glares with utmost contempt at Voltron and Star vs. The Forces of Evil*)

-You know, this wasn’t bad for a final season, but I think this might have worked better as two seasons. Not in Netflix’s cheap “split a regular 13-episode season in two 6-7 episode long seasons” strategy, but I mean two full seasons with their own storylines leading up to the grand finale:

-First, one that starts out with Horde Prime’s arrival the downfall of Etheria, focuses on the space adventures, ends with their return to Etheria and gives the characters time to recuperate from season 4.

-Then, we have one final season that focuses on the Best Friend Squad’s Return to Etheria, Horde Prime’s plan, gives everyone more time to properly reconcile before ¾ of the entire cast gets chipped, sets up a new Rebellion made up of Princess Alliance and former Etherian Horde members, maybe even set up a proper Hordak redemption arc or something, and then our big happy ending.

-On a mostly unrelated note, I also feel that the whole show could have turned out even better if it had been either a dedicated science-fantasy war drama with some levity (like the good Star Wars shows or Avatar: The Last Airbender) or a lighthearted yet empowering slice-of-life action-adventure romcom (i.e. basically a well-made remake of the original show in the style of Adventure Time and Parks and Rec or something).

-My final random thought for this whole thing: we really could have used a triumphant end credits song or something. Aside from obviously recommending Fabulous Secret Powers, I would have also recommended the original 4 Non Blondes “What’s Going On,” a reprise of “Warriors,” Gorillaz’s “We Got the Power,” or (my favourite) Talking Head’s “(Nothing But) Flowers” since the ending scenes remind me of it.

Thanks again to the crew for giving me something to live for and/or complain about!

Now, let’s hope the He-Man reboots do as well...

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osakaso5 · 3 years

Text

La Danse Macabre

Episode 16

Chapter Index

16-1: Kokujohyako (5)

Vida: Get in.

[Slam]

Arme: Ugh... Coff.. coff..!

Vida: You'll spend the night here. They'll come get you tomorrow.

Arme: They..?

Vida: The people who paid a fortune for you.

Arme: You sold me off... What's going to happen to me..?

Vida: I don't know. I've never really cared to think about what happens to the stuff we sell. What matters is that we get paid.

Arme: So to you, all I am is money...

Arme: I suppose not everyone on the Surface thinks like Libel and the others.

Vida: Huh?

Arme: They were going to use me... the Celestial, to bring peace. To bring freedom.

Arme: On top of that, they even took my feelings into accord. They gave me a chance to see things for myself.

Arme: ...Never in my life have I used my powers for something other than the duty I was born into.

Arme: I was happy to be of use in such a way...

Arme: And though you only see me as a source of income, Libel said I could bring hope.

Vida: ........

Arme: Vida, yes? I want to use my powers to help the people of the Surface...

Arme: Won't you help Libel with his plan?

Vida: ........

Arme: If someone as strong as you works with him, you should be able to build an equal relationship between the Surface and the Ark.

Vida: ...Ugh.

Vida: You done?

Arme: .......

Vida: Blah, blah, blah...

Vida: Whatever. Libel's reasons for kidnapping you don't matter to me one bit.

Vida: I couldn't care less, in fact.

Vida: What I care about is how many days we'll eat with the money we get from selling you.

Arme: ...D-do you not have a creed you follow? Surely, it can't be so simple--

Vida: Huh?

[Crack]

Arme: Urgh..!

Arme: Coff... coff..!

Vida: You think a creed's gonna fill our stomachs?

Vida: You saw the shithole we live in when I brought you here.

Vida: The Surface you got shown by those other guys was the tourist trap version.

Arme: Huff... huff... huff...

Vida: Meanwhile, District 12 is done for. Our soil's so rotten that nothing grows in it.

Vida: It's no place for humans to live. It's the reason we go hungry most of the time.

Arme: ........

Vida: Yet we can't leave. We have no choice but stick it out in here.

Vida: We're barely getting by! Unlike all of you!

Arme: ........

Vida: ...Tsk, I've said too much already.

Arme: You're--

Placer: My turn to watch the kid, Vida.

Vida: Yeah, you do that.

Placer: 'kay.

Arme: ...It's you.

Place: Yo... Long. Time. No. See!

[Crash]

Arme: Ugh..!

Placer: Ah... That's better. Needed to get back at you for last time, you see.

Arme: Gh, ugh...

Placer: Oops... I better be careful.

Placer: Horca told me to only leave marks that'll heal quickly... Anything else will lower your value.

Placer: So relax!

Placer: At least I won't break any bones.

[Thump]

Arme: .......!

16-2: Kokujohyako (6)

Arme: Ah... ah...

Placer: Mmh...

Placer: I guess you're not much of a screamer, huh..? Boooring.

Arme: Ah... Haah...

Arme: I-I was busy... thinking...

Placer: I'm impressed you could do that while I was beating you up.

Arme: You people are different from Libel's group...

Arme: You don't even have the time to think about your future... You're too busy surviving in whatever way you can...

Arme: You live one day, then the next, and the next...

Placer: ...Yeah, and?

Arme: It's because you live so close to death... Which is also why you have such a hunger for life.

Arme: Right now, I'm in more pain than I've ever felt before... The death that I've only read about in books is encroaching on me...

Arme: I understand now... How scary it is...

Placer: ...I don't get what you're trying to say.

Arme: I was naïve... Though I like Libel's ideas, I never considered the existence of people like you...

Arme: I saw all of the people here as one and the same...

Placer: I thought I hurt you nice and good, but you're telling me you had time to think about all that crap?

Arme: As I thought... I like it here... There are so many people, with different ways of thinking...

Arme: It makes me want to use my powers to help the Surface even more...

Placer: You're insane.

Placer: The bomber who was with you told me that a sane person can't survive on the Surface.

Arme: I see...

Arme: Hah... hahaha... I'm so happy... to know I could survive on the Surface.

[Thump]

Arme: Ugh..!

Placer: Well, not like that's any of my business.

Arme: Haah... haah...

Placer: Y'know. You think like someone who has it too easy, and that's why I don't like you.

Placer: Don't act like you know our problems. It just sounds like you're looking down on us.

Arme: ...Someone told me the same thing earlier... My apologies...

Placer: I dunno all the details, just what Horca told me a long time ago.

Placer: That there's not even enough people in District 12 to make more of us.

Arme: ...You're a minimum viable population...

Placer: Yeah, something like that. So.

Placer: Sooner or later, we're all gonna die off.

Arme: ...Wait... But couldn't you mix into the general population of the Surface..?

Placer: That's not an option. Not for our people.

Arme: So then... You're just waiting for your extinction.

Placer: Pretty much.

Placer: We were born here, and we'll die here.

Placer: We've already got a grave ready, too. Though it's just a huge hole in the ground.

Placer: We toss the bodies in there, generation after generation.

Arme: Hah... haha... The Surface is home to such varying cultures...

Placer: Must be hard to wrap your head around all this, since you've lived in the sky all your life. Well? Aren't we a sad bunch or what?

Arme: ...Maybe so.

Placer: And since we're so unhappy, we've decided...

Placer: To try and make all the happy people in the world as miserable as possible.

Arme: ...What?

Placer: It's only fair. Can't have us get all the crap in the world, while everyone else gets off easy.

Arme: ...Doing that won't change anything..!

[Thump]

Arme: Aargh!

Placer: Yeah, it will.

[Thump]

Placer: Yeah, it WILL!!! Because it makes us feel BETTER!!!

[Crash]

Placer: What else are we supposed to do!? Just bear with it!?

Placer: Me! And Vida! And Horca!

[Thump]

Placer: We're all so PITIFUL!!!

[Crash]

Placer: Unless we can bring even one person down to our level!!!

Arme: Guhh..! Uurgh..!

Placer: Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!

[Thump, crash]

[Bzzt...]

Arme: ........

- - - -

Horca: Yawn...

Horca: Let's hope he hasn't killed the kid...

Horca: Hey, Placer. Time for the little Celestial to leave.

[Clang]

Horca: ...The cell's open..?

Horca: Hey! Don't tell me you let the Celestial get away!?

Horca: ......!?

Horca: Placer..! Placer..!!!

Horca: He's... not breathing..?

Horca: Y-you've gotta be kidding me..! Right? Right!?

Horca: Wake up... Wake up, Placer!!!

To be continued...

#idolish7 #la danse macabre #translation #event story

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lightsandlostbells · 3 years

Text

wtFOCK season 3, episode 5 reaction

This whole episode I kept doing that Marge Simpson groan. You know, the one that’s like tight-lipped and this low, exasperated mmm from deep in the throat? That was me constantly.

Episode 5

Clip 1 - Jens gives Robbe sex advice

Robbe texts his mom and says to her he can’t visit, lying that it’s because he’s sick. One repeated element that does exist in this season is Robbe listening to music on his headphones, which is him retreating into himself, or using music to cope. The song lyrics reflect that: “I used to feel so alone, now I’m feeling better on my own.”

Since I’ve been trying to think of ways to rewrite this season, they could expand Robbe using music as a coping strategy even further. Music should have been something that Robbe bonds with Sander over. And not just Sander’s recommendation of Bowie, either, which is all they’ve done so far - it seems like Robbe should give recs or insight as well. Talk about how important music is to him with Sander. Make it a serious point in their developing relationship.

Jens skates up and talks to Robbe. Robbe wants to get high, but Jens doesn’t have weed with him at the moment. He asks Robbe if he’s thought about the Brrrothers, because they’re not the same without Robbe. Robbe snaps and turns away from him, then lies and says his bad mood is about Noor. Jens has already heard that they’re fighting.

Jens’ talk to Robbe, knowing that Noor wants to have sex and Robbe doesn’t, is actually pretty sweet. Even though he doesn’t understand the real reason why Robbe doesn’t want to, his talk is thoughtful and not shaming Robbe for being a nervous virgin, it’s considerate of him. Considering the Brrrothers have been obnoxious about sex and girls all season, this was a refreshing change. One question I do have is how Jens knew that Noor wanted sex and Robbe didn’t, but I guess it was implied that this explanation was part of the rumor mill.

Of course, the downside is that Jens’ advice prompts Robbe to text Noor about how he misses her and wants to meet up. Bad, Robbe! I don’t know if Jens’ talk encouraged Robbe to text her because Robbe was like “Yeah, I’m supposed to like Noor, better get back on that,” or because maybe he genuinely told himself, “I just don’t want to have sex with her because I’m nervous, yeah, that must be it,” and decided to just move forward with it.

I do like drama that comes from characters trying to be helpful but unintentionally saying or doing the wrong thing - that’s what happens in the locker room scene with Isak and Even. When Isak says he’s better off without mentally ill people in his life, he’s telling Even this as a way of saying that his mother won’t cause problems for them, he doesn’t care what she’ll think of them dating. So taken on its own, I think this scene is fine.

HOWEVER. The pacing of this season is again, SO SO weird, because this scene would have fit right in around episodes 2-3? Right after Robbe tried and failed to have sex with Noor, you know ... the first time? Or the second, or the third? Like … have it be in line with Isak’s episode 3 sexuality crisis, all the “why does he have to be so gay” stuff. It would’ve worked well to have this talk at like, the beginning of episode 3, and then have Robbe making the “that guy is so gay” comment as an unintentional result of this - by trying to convince himself he is just straight and nervous and distancing himself from being gay. We had three entire scenes of Robbe failing to fuck Noor, so narratively, why did we need to wait this long for Jens to talk to him about it?

Clip 2 - AGAIN?

Robbe invites Noor over to bone. He’s lit about a million candles and is trying to make this a big romantic deal, except lmao, he has on David Bowie’s Life on Mars … Robbe … what u doing…

Actually, I’m not sure if this is diegetic music or not, if Robbe is blasting Bowie from his phone as mood music or if he’s only hearing this song inside his head. I think we’re definitely meant to take away that Robbe is hearing the song since it gets distorted as he slinks down Noor’s body, and that it’s not just there for the audience. In either case, Sander is supposedly the shadow hanging over this sad hetero affair.

Tbh listening to Life on Mars is the best part of this season and I wish I could just like … listen to this song play against a black screen instead of watching poorly written, repetitive clips.

They start to get it on and he takes off her shirt, unhooks her bra, yadda yadda, he doesn’t look happy but he soldiers on and it’s implied they went All The Way. On the one hand, I will rage if they actually had sex. On the other hand, if they don’t, it’s yet another clip where the same shit happens, Robbe tries to bang Noor and fails..

Clip 3 - Robbe’s not turned on by Noor and this is BRAND NEW INFORMATION

… okay, so he didn’t have sex with her AGAIN? He couldn’t get it up?

For fuck’s sake. I mean, on the one hand I’m glad it was actually Robbe’s choice (apparently) to put a stop to the sex instead of like, someone else walking in and interrupting yet again, but on the other hand, I feel like we have done this scene SO MUCH. We KNOW. About the only thing that’s changed I guess is that Robbe kissed a boy and now he’s trying to be straight? If this was only like the second time this scene had happened, it would have been fine.

I just don’t have a coherent idea of Robbe’s arc. This season is going in circles.

Anyway, Robbe couldn’t get it up, Noor is sympathetic, she asks if it’s her, Robbe says she’s amazing, he looks sad and haunted blah blah we’ve already seen this play out.

Why were these separate clips? In the first clip, we have Robbe seemingly determined to have sex with Noor, and then in the second, he can’t get it up. So why not SHOW THE MOMENT OF CHANGE? Are these filmmakers on drugs? This is storytelling 101. Like there’s no reason to split up these clips except to cause a bit of anxiety if you happen to be able to watch the clips at the exact time they’re posted, and from a real-time perspective I get it, but that’s ineffective for the vast majority of people who will have to watch later and then will watch these two clips together at the same time. I mean, the fact that it’s not even 10 minutes in between clips … just SHOW THE WHOLE SCENE. Holy fuck. How are they this incompetent?

The pacing of the scenes themselves is so weird. So many of the clips are oddly short, we don’t NEED them to be split into parts. It makes me really appreciate Julie’s pacing: Skam S3 episodes had 4-6 clips each, and in those clips, we got rich scenes packed with details, often multi-tasking within different story threads. wtFOCK’s pacing is simplistic and choppy and unnecessary.

Clip 4 - Milan gives Robbe a pep talk

Robbe is Googling erectile dysfunction which is honestly kind of funny (but again, probably would have been a better fit for earlier in this season, before Robbe had already kissed a dude ...) Milan comes in wanting advice on two shirts, Robbe is annoyed.

Milan tries to get Robbe to talk to him. It takes some prodding (and I do like how Robbe is swiveling in his chair and not looking at Milan) but Robbe admits there’s a guy who likes him and, after Milan asks, admits that it’s mutual.

Tbh … I don’t find it so hard to believe that Robbe opened up to Milan even though they’re not anywhere as close as Eskild and Isak, because I do think another gay guy is a “safe” person to talk to about this situation and I can see Robbe doing it. What I do NOT get is why, here and now, Robbe is now openly admitting it. Why did we go from Robbe trying to fuck a girl and, before that, calling the boy he kissed a pervert and a homophobic slur, to admitting his attraction for a boy? Why the sudden turnaround? Based on the clips themselves, all we have to go off as a turning point is that he couldn’t fuck Noor, BUT this is nothing new for either Robbe and the audience, AND not being able to fuck a girl does not actually mean that Robbe would be able to fuck a guy, or that he’s into guys, and it especially doesn’t mean that Robbe would accept that he likes a guy. I mean, he’s Googling “erectile dysfunction” not “am I gay?” which tbh seems still more like denial than anything. He’s blaming his lack of arousal on a medical issue, not his sexuality.

This scene would feel more true to me if Robbe was like, downplaying his side of it, or playing it off as only Sander had feelings and it wasn’t requited. That’s more in line with the characterization we have just been given, that Robbe is denying his attraction to Sander.

Another way would be to not split up the sex clip and to show like, Robbe flashing back to his kiss with Sander while he’s making out with Noor, so we get that it’s not just that he’s not into Noor, it’s that he’s very into Sander, and we see him grudgingly admit to himself that yes, he’s attracted to Sander (at the very least.) which would make it believable that he admits it to Milan. Cause and effect, etc.

MIlan is like, are you so nervous to tell me you have a crush on another guy (...????? um, yes, Milan, you have to know it’s hard to come out???) but is pretty supportive and says Robbe’s lucky to have him, Milan would have wanted himself when he was going through this. Robbe is just like, I don’t know what I feel and I want everything to be normal, there’s too much shit going on right now. Milan says Robbe IS normal and he doesn’t want to bottle up who he is, the pressure will get too real and he’ll explode, he’ll hurt people. Robbe seems to take this advice seriously, so hopefully this scene will actually lead to cause + effect.

Again, this scene is fine on its own? There’s just something about the pacing of the season as a whole that feels strange.

I don’t know if this is supposed to be the equivalent of the Pride clip, because Robbe doesn’t say anything offensive and Milan didn’t get upset. Milan’s advice is good about not pushing away who you really are, but there’s nothing specifically confronting internalized homophobia, which Robbe desperately needs seeing as he’s had some extremely homophobic outbursts. I think it’s a shame to lose that part of the scene, because it’s got a very pointed and urgent message. (EDIT from the future: We got the Pride clip later in the episode, so that’s good.)

Clip 5 - Robbe tells Jens he likes someone else

Robbe is sitting on the sidelines listening to music again. Jens comes over and asks how things are, Robbe says he took his advice with Noor and Jens is happy that he’s a matchmaker. Robbe is like no, there’s someone else. He says he thought it would go away, but it didn’t.

For a moment it seems like this might be a sudden coming out scene, but Jens finally asks who it is and Robbe clams up and finds it hard to get out. Jens asks if she goes to their school. Robbe is saved by Moyo wanting to play a game against some guys.

This is some plausible conflict, at the very least, Robbe not being able to tell his friends that he’s into a guy. It would have been way better to focus on this instead of Robbe flinging a slur at Sander. Robbe’s friends seem like the clearest explanation for his internalized homophobia.

Now Jens needs to follow up on this development, or else turn in his Jonas card. Because there’s dropping the subject if he senses Robbe doesn’t want to tell him yet, and then there’s forgetting about the subject because Jens isn’t that engaged with what’s happening with Robbe, and unfortunately the latter vibe has come across far more than the first. Like why does it seem like Jens is always walking away?

Clip 6 - Robbe breaks up with Noor

Old Town Road is playing as Noor meets Robbe in a cafe. One thing I do notice is that there are a fair amount of gay musicians on the soundtrack this season, so that’s cool.

Robbe is stressed because we can tell he’s gonna try to break up with Noor. He doesn’t order anything to eat. Noor is sympathetic about him not getting it up with her, but Robbe says he needs some time for himself, he has so much shit on his mind. Noor says she can help with that, he’s like nah, Noor is crying and reaching for him desperately. He gets up and walks out.

L O L I heard all about how Robbe supposedly handled this better than Isak, and I mean … on the one hand, I certainly agree that he did Noor a solid by officially breaking up with her and not just running away from her in the hallway. But er ... first of all, Robbe went wayyyyyyyyy farther with Noor than Isak EVER did with Emma. Robbe and Noor had an actual relationship for what, a month? Isak and Emma made out twice and flirted a bit. They were not exclusively, seriously dating. So yeah, Noor is owed this breakup.

Second, Robbe still cheated on her with Sander before he broke up with her. The fact that they were naked while they made out in the pool frankly adds an on-screen sexual element to the cheating. And technically Isak making out with Even in the pool was not cheating … for sure it was a dick move to lead on Emma and then ditch her like that, I’m not going to say it was NBD, but like I said, they weren’t exclusively dating. I mean, in all my years of Skam fandom, it’s pretty rare that I’ve heard anyone refer to what Isak did as cheating - it’s usually talked about differently than Even cheating on Sonja. Robbe and Sander BOTH cheated on their girlfriends here.

Third, it’s nice he did this with Noor but lmao, kinda small potatoes considering what Robbe said to Sander.

Fourth, Robbe just gets up and leaves while she’s crying, lol. He let her order soup and then he ditched her! That’s cold as ice! Bro, you need to stick around until she tells you to leave, or you needed to pick a breakup location where both of you can leave ASAP without someone coming by with the meal you ordered.

And to be clear, I don’t think Robbe not handling this perfectly makes him a terrible person or anything. It’s more the comparison to Isak with how Isak is supposedly worse and Robbe is much nicer. Nah.

Sucks for Noor and all, but whyyyy are they making the Emma character so tragic and emphasizing this het relationship so much? We don’t even end the clip on Robbe’s POV. Because how he feels about this breakup doesn’t matter, I guess. Does he feel guilty? Free? Unsure? Conflicted? IDK because we close on her, not him! I’m sorry, but it’s not her season!

I mentioned this in an earlier reaction but I’m just super tired of gay storylines that have this intense focus on how much someone being gay hurts a straight person. I believe I mentioned Love, Victor as a prominent example, because Victor’s relationship with his girlfriend seemingly gets more screen time than the relationship with his actual male love interest. And I get why this storyline is relevant to a coming out arc, of course I do, but it really bugs me when the het relationship seems to overshadow the gay relationship, as it does here. At this point I feel like Robbe/Noor has been given equal plot relevance as Robbe/Sander, if not more, and that should not be the case. It’s not about shipping, it’s about wanting a story about a gay kid’s journey of self-acceptance to focus more on the life-changing love story that is the catalyst for embracing his sexuality, than the fake passion-less relationship that is doomed to failure that is just a momentary stumble in said journey of self-acceptance. There is no need to demonize Noor, but there is actually a middle ground between treating her with respect and empathy and making her the real victim of this story.

This narrative choice also does not exist in a vacuum. It is completely fair to be skeptical of the prioritization of a het relationship over a gay one. It’s fair to wonder why we’ve gotten multiple scenes of Robbe getting hot and heavy with a girl, why Robbe spends a pivotal clip being so sad about Noor that he doesn’t seem to really notice or care that he’s alone with the guy he supposedly likes.

I mean, fuck, Robbe seems more upset about hurting Noor’s feelings by breaking up with her for legitimate reasons than he does about hurting Sander’s feelings by calling him a f*g and accusing him of sexual assault.

Clip 7 - Robbe tries to speak with Sander

Robbe goes to school (not his school, Sander’s) and asks where the art room is. He’s in a way better mood, a spring in his step, but LMAO you better pray that Sander actually wants to talk to you rather than kick your ass or avoid you for all eternity because of what you said to him.

Sander is sketching a nude male model. Robbe seems happy just to see him. He walks away and goes to the bathroom, fixes his hair, stares in the mirror, takes a deep breath. Then he goes up to Sander after the bell rings. Robbe wants to talk, Sander is not having it and walks away. Robbe is sad, angsty music plays.

Uhhhhh, serves you right? No offense but I can’t even feel sad for Robbe in this scenario, because what he did crossed a line. Internalized homophobia is a hell of a drug, but there’s such a difference between Robbe just denying that the kiss meant anything or blaming it on being drunk or whatever, and essentially accusing Sander of sexual assault and calling him a slur. It’s not an ignorant mistake, it’s a malicious one. I feel bad that Robbe ever had such self-hatred that he made those comments in the first place and I certainly don’t hate him or think he should be forever alone, but it is 100% understandable why Sander would not want to speak to him after that.

Also, going up to Sander at his school was not the best move, because he’s basically ambushing him. Sander doesn’t have a choice whether to deal with Robbe in that moment. It would’ve been better if Robbe sent him some kind of apology text or voicemail first and left it up to Sander whether he wanted to meet. I get that’s not as good for televised dramaaaa, but it’s kinder to Sander. (And if Sander doesn’t respond, or if he’s blocked Robbe, well, those are just consequences of Robbe’s actions that he’ll have to live with.) EDIT: Robbe actually did contact Sander first via text, wanting to meet up so he could explain. That does make it somewhat better, although I still think he shouldn’t have approached him at school. If Sander doesn’t want to talk to you? Then give him space. Maybe he’ll be willing to hear you out in time, or maybe he’ll decide he’s better off without you, but Robbe’s the one who did something wrong and it’s not up to Robbe whether Sander forgives him.

Clip 8 - Robbe and Sander make up and kiss

Angsty music keeps playing as Robbe walks home. He sees a mom and her kids playing, more sadness presumably due to his own family troubles.

Sander has followed him and says he has five minutes. Robbe’s like “Why don’t you want to talk?” LMAO IDK ROBBE, WHAT COULD IT BE.

Robbe says he’s sorry and that he loves Sander. LMAO WHAT. Is this a nuance of translation where “I love you” isn’t as strong as it is in English? Are you kidding me?

First of all … he LOVES Sander when they’ve barely interacted? They’ve spoken only a handful of times. Hell, they only met in episode 3, and this is episode 5. It’s been like two weeks since they’ve met, and while I could buy that some ships fell in love in that short of time, this is sure as fuck not one of them.

Second … Robbe goes from shoving Sander and calling him horrible things and trying to fuck Noor, to professing his love for Sander, WITHIN DAYS? And this is the character who’s supposed to have a big coming out arc? What is nuance, what is good writing, what is a coherent idea of this character’s struggles with his sexuality and himself... The talk with Milan might convince Robbe to accept his feelings, but it would make way more sense if Robbe was more tentative about them. He doesn’t need to come out swinging the big epic declarations in order to accept his romantic interest in Sander.

Like this isn’t even based on what I personally think is believable for a romance, this is based on what wtFOCK has told me about this character! They made the choice to make him say more viciously homophobic things. They made the choice to have him go back to Noor and try to have sex with her for the millionth time.

I’m glad that Sander doesn’t buy the confession at first, at least.

Robbe says that he was really fucked up and hat Sander is the first dude. There is a cute moment where he’s like “that kiss (mimes fireworks)” but then things went Chernobyl. Would have been great if we saw exactly what made him go Chernobyl and make him regret the kiss. He says he’s sorry but asks for one more chance.

Sander steps in, leans in for a kiss. “What about Chernobyl?” “Fuck Chernobyl.” They kiss, it’s really sweet, but lol they’re kissing in public??? Robbe is ok with this?? I just have abso-fucking-lutely no idea where this kid’s head is. Like ... how is he so cool with this considering where he was just days ago? Apparently Robbe’s internalized homophobia was so extreme that he was all “get away from me f*g” toward Sander with no clear catalyst, but also not so extreme that it couldn’t be fixed with a pep talk from Milan? Okay!

This scene would have been totally fine if Robbe’s mistake was less cruel and amounted to blocking Sander or telling him to stay away or w/e. It doesn’t feel satisfying for what Robbe actually did say.

Also, sigh, because Sander did forgive Robbe just like that, and I don’t buy it. I mean, if anything, it makes me sad for Sander. I want to tell him that he deserves better. I suppose I can buy this as part of his fear that no one will ever love him, that he’s desperate to be accepted and loved and so is quick to forgive.

It would have made more sense for Robbe to have a longer period of self-reflection, have him come out to his friends, etc. and then reunite with Sander an episode or so later, similar to how Isak and Even reunited at the end of episode 7. Or to have Sander take some time before letting Robbe talk to him, during which Robbe works on his own issues.

Sander gets a call from Britt, which he ignores, saying Britt’s the past, he and Robbe are the future (as the song lyrics talk about the future and the past … they’re going pretty on the nose this season. Fine by me, OG was also on the nose.) Lmao but Robbe has no right to be upset about Britt after he explicitly told Sander to stay away. I mean, it’s dubious of Sander to keep dating her after cheating, but he also thought Robbe was no longer an option sooo don’t be surprised Sander is still with her, dude.

Sander goes to meet Britt, but not before some make outs, some handholding. I think their chemistry is good! It’s just that I don’t really buy the depth of this relationship. It legit makes me sad that these actors are getting served this half-assed material.

Clip 9 - Zoë gets a letter

Robbe goes home and gets a text from Sander, with a sketch of them, saying their kiss was Chernobyl. Well, that’s cute.

Milan is telling Zoë about seeing some straight-looking dude on the bus who melted when Milan looked at him. Robbe is in a good mood and is gonna do the cooking. Milan observes that he’s happy and asks if things went well with his (Robbe looks toward Zoë) “lovely girlfriend”. At least Milan covered for him! (EDIT from the future: Ahahaha, funny considering how casually people out Robbe this season...)

Robbe hands Zoë some mail that turns out to do with Viktor, the apparent Nikolai in this version, about the case going to court. She has to testify. She is upset and walks out of the kitchen.

I complained a bit about Zoë/Senne drama taking up time in Robbe’s season, but to be clear, I have no problem with them following up on this plot point from S2. It’s a hugely important story. But I also think it works best if you integrate it into Robbe’s story, by drawing a parallel to their situations, finding a common theme, etc. And it depends on whether Robbe’s story is otherwise satisfactory, because if the writing is pretty tight, I’m not really bothered by digressions in other characters’ subplots.

Clip 10 - Robbe and Sander get cozy

Oh hey, it’s the big cuddling clip! Robbe and Sander goof off, pillow fight, smoke a joint, make out. Mostly make out. Sander shows Robbe a sketch of him (Robbe) and implies how good it would look on a wall (big).

Robbe’s fave actor is Leonardo DiCaprio, because hasn’t Sander seen Romeo + Juliet? It’s fucking beautiful.

Man, on the one hand, sick Skam reference, and it’s just a simple, cute little nod to OG, not something complicated. I can dig that. But on the other hand, now I’m annoyed at how Isak got all of this beautiful development and watching R+J actually meant something for his character, and Robbe has absolutely nothing like that. Stuff like the fact it’s Robbe who likes R+J instead of Sander, WHICH IS FINE, but like … doesn’t say anything about Robbe’s view on masculinity or w/e, doesn’t do much for his characterization.

Sander takes pics of Robbe. Their chemistry is cute. Once again I despair at gifted actors being given subpar material leading up to this clip.

LMAO at them copying the dialogue from OG, Sander being all life is like a movie. Again, irrationally annoyed because this dialogue MEANT something to Even. Even was a huge film buff and an aspiring director. Sander hasn’t mentioned movies at all, he’s into art and David Bowie and photography. So why not have Sander quote some Bowie lyrics that explain his thoughts on life? Mention what art means to him? Personalize this dialogue so that it’s specific to Sander. Or, if you’re going to borrow this chunk of dialogue, at least establish Sander as a film enthusiast prior to this clip.

Also that Isak brought up the multiverse theory because he was smart and inquisitive, but I have no idea who the fuck Robbe is. Does this make sense with Robbe’s prior characterization? Shrug.

I do like the multiverse reference to Spider-Man because HELL YEAH Into the Spider-Verse!!! Fucking masterpiece! I could be watching that for the 20th time instead of the upcoming gay-bashing hate crime.

I do like Sander’s acting in this scene and his reaction, how the music (“Ocean Eyes”) stops when Sander starts talking about multiverse theory. His dialogue is a little different here than OG, about thinking about what he’s done and wondering why he thinks something, his thoughts never stop, which fits in with bipolar disorder.

Robbe notices he’s a little agitated, Sander says the only way to stop your thoughts is from dying. So I guess we’re putting in the suicidal thoughts in this version?

“Sometimes I forget how young you are.” Are they the same age in this version? Lmao. It’s a joke so it’s not a big deal.

Robbe starts kissing him and asks when Sander fell for him. Sander is like, before you! When Robbe was spraying the graffiti he knew Robbe was the one. Robbe is like … you were there??

I mean. this is cute and all, but doesn’t it kinda take away from later events, if Sander goes back to Britt, then like … knowing Sander has been Pining All Along should create way less doubt in Robbe’s mind? When Even went back to Sonja, there was room for actual doubt in Isak’s mind (and the audience’s) about the sincerity of Even’s feelings. I think people forgot that the “I saw you the first day of school” moment at the end of the season was a surprise. I was in the fandom and I don’t think a lot of people thought Even had fallen for Isak that early. So Robbe now knows that Sander fell for him well before they even talked, doesn’t that remove some of the tension about Sander’s motives? I suppose it depends on how the story goes from here, but if it’s similar to OG, then I think it slightly lessens the ambiguity and tension.

Also, another reason why it would have been good to actually see the graffiti scene play out in episode 1… and to see what Robbe tagged on the wall … come on. COME ONNNN. Let’s see what got Sander’s attention! Did Robbe create something funny or clever or insightful? Wouldn’t that have been a great detail to show their connection? This is basic storytelling, hello?

I guess if I’m being fair, we don’t know exactly what Even saw in Isak that first day of school, either. But then again, we didn’t see the first day of school in a clip, while we definitely saw the graffiti scene. Just a missed opportunity, IMO.

They kiss and Sander gets a text from Britt. According to Sander, he told Britt about him and Robbe, but she doesn’t believe him, which is what I assumed of Sonja too, btw. At least, that’s what I thought at Emma’s party where she initiated the kiss with Even. Sander says Britt is so controlling. Robbe seems uncertain.

Sander says there’s probably another universe where Sander is still with Britt, but he’s glad to be in this universe. I do like this part.

Clip 11 - Milan schools Robbe on Pride

Robbe’s alarm goes off in the morning. He smiles a bit, though, presumably because he’s got Sander in his life. He gets a good morning text from Sander, which is cute and makes him smile more. Goes into the bathroom and Milan is there. Sander texts Robbe that he’s been thinking about him in all universes, Robbe is happy.

Milan is like, when can I meet your boyfriend??? Robbe says soon. Awww, this interaction is pretty sweet. Milan is like, welcome to the club! You know, “our” club meaning dudes who like dudes.

Robbe is like, just because I’m with Sander doesn’t mean I belong to some club, I’m not like you. Milan is like … and how am I? Robbe gives the usual Isak-ish response of dressing up and talking about BJs, Milan gets upset. Robbe says there’s nothing wrong with being gay but when people think of being gay, they think of that and it’s not fair to those who aren’t like that. Robbe’s not going to put on leather pants and dance at pride just because he likes Sander!

Milan gets very upset and goes into the Pride speech. I always appreciate this scene and I’m grateful that it’s one thing the remakes don’t really fuck with, since it’s so important (I think the remakes all recognize that it’s amazing, heh).

Senne wanting to use the bathroom is kind of a jarring thing, they should’ve just let the moment sink in.

Robbe takes a Good Hard Look at himself in the mirror which is on the nose but like, better than nothing. I think there was a mirror earlier in the season? I confess that I’m so hung up on the basic writing fumbles that I might be missing stuff that’s actually supposed to be symbolic.

Anyway, all things considered, I think they did fine with this clip. Robbe coming out to Milan earlier in the episode did help pave the way for this talk since they didn’t have the close relationship as Isak and Eskild. Like, any issues I might have with it are related to the bigger issues in the season, but on its own, I felt like it was decent, and the “welcome to the club” comment is something I can believe Milan would say and something that would make Robbe reply with a boneheaded comment.

Clip 12 - This fucking scene

Robbe and Sander flirt in a bar and get touchy-feely with each other. For some baffling choice, we start with some rap/hip-hop song and then it cuts to “Two Men In Love” by The Irrepressibles … like … you could just start the clip with that song instead of this weird non-transition?

They kiss and then move outside the bar and then kiss and cuddle some more (again … I ask, where did Robbe’s boldness with gay PDA come from ...) Robbe jumps on Sander for a piggyback ride. They kiss passionately in the street.

Ahahahahahahahahah HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAA FUCK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Some homophobes spot them and call them slurs. Robbe and Sander try to grab their bikes and quickly leave. The bigots manage to grab them and beat the shit out of them. It’s really brutal, like we get POV shots from the ground as the guys kick them. The guys call them f****ts once more before leaving Robbe and Sander crumpled on the ground in the fetal position. The wheels on the bike go round and round.

I mean … where do you even start.

OK, I’ll start here: worst decision made in a Skam S3 remake yet.

“Yeah, Skam season 3 was a masterpiece and all, but you know what I could have used more of? Violent gay-bashing,” said no one ever.

I don’t get triggered by media, not really, but boy am I glad I was spoiled for this. Because I do get fucking angry at media. And I’m angry now, but if I was watching this unspoiled? Man, I would’ve popped a couple of blood vessels. And I feel so, so sorry for people who watched this unprepared and were triggered. Because yeah, it is a remake and not 100% like the original, you can’t predict everything that will happen. But this isn’t something that you expect in S3, because you expect the writers to know enough to leave this shit out. This isn’t made with kind intentions for the audience, it’s made for shock value.

Consider that the WHOLE POINT of this very, very short clip is the hate crime, btw. It’s like two minutes long! They dropped a clip just for a cute kissing montage and then to interrupt it with a brutal beating! Something about that makes it even more repugnant than if it were like … a long involved scene about something else, and this happened. IDK, something about it feels even more tasteless, like this beating is their cinematic setpiece.

The first-person POV of the beating = not necessary. Like of ALL the fucking times in your season to actually give a shit about the importance of POV, lmao. This isn’t a video game. I’m not shooting zombies or getting jumped by bandits.

Remember when Skam faded to black on Noora’s blackout? And cut away from Even walking naked out of the hotel? Yeah, there are plot and POV reasons for those, but they were also ways to respect the audience and not include pointlessly triggering, exploitative material.

There’s just so much to say about this bad choice that I’m at a loss. Why did we need to go here? In particular, why did we need to go here knowing how the rest of the season plays out? Because for me, that’s what clinches this as a terrible decision. This isn’t a shitty scene with a satisfying follow-up. The resolution - or non-resolution, as it turns out - of this plot development is what exposes wtFOCK’s true character.

There is an AMAZING Evak vid set to Two Men In Love and I recommend you watch it to get the bad taste out of your mouth from this scene.

HOW I WOULD REWRITE THIS EPISODE:

Sigh.

This is just textbook bad writing for coming out stories, not to mention packed full of tired cliches.

Closeted gay guy is violently homophobic (Robbe calls his love interest homophobic slurs and accuses him of being a pervert) - I’m sorry but I am so tired of the “dating your bully” trope and this is what it fell into for me. Why should Sander take back Robbe after that? After Sander told Robbe he was afraid no one would ever love him?

Gay-bashing For The Drama, to make sure you know homophobia is bad, really bad.

Overemphasis on the heterosexual love interest (“love interest”) and how it’s hurtful to her, like I get that it’s a delicate topic with not demonizing her, but I always feel like there is SO much interest on straight characters in these stories! It’s not about them!

The hate crime has to go. Really. What is even the POINT of it in this particular story? As if there wasn’t enough angst in S3? Especially if you consider: they wasted a few episodes on repetitive nonsense. Their pacing is fucked up. And now you have to insert this monumentally offensive storyline and its fallout into a season already full of problems? Next.

Okay, I will offer ONE way to incorporate the hate crime, and that is simple: Make the rest of the season about the fallout. Similar to Noora’s season with her assault, dive deep into the trauma, spend a few episodes with Robbe and Sander recovering, telling their friends about it, going to the police about it. Cut back on other drama from S3. Don’t fuck around with Sander going back to Britt, unless you tie it in directly to him being afraid to date a guy after the hate crime. Don’t fuck around with Noor outing Robbe considering he has enough shit on his plate. If you want to bring her back, make her support him through the trauma. Honestly? Don’t fuck around with the hotel incident. Like I truly hate to lose Sander’s mental illness as a vital part of the season, but adding a full-blown manic episode on top of gay-bashing is way too much misery porn. I think you could probably show how the hate crime and resulting trauma affect Sander’s mental state without pushing it into full-blown wandering the streets naked while manic.

Do I particularly like this plot? I mean, no, not compared to the original, and I feel like this is better off as its own thing rather than a S3 adaptation. But at the very least, I can see the attempt to take the hate crime seriously. You cannot just throw in this type of scenario to shake things up and leave it at that. This show is specifically made for teenagers, to take their struggles seriously and to give them positive examples of how to handle problems. If you prioritize the violent act itself because it’s dramatic and shocking, rather than the recovery (because that’s like, boring and uninteresting, amirite), then you’ve shown your ass. You don’t understand the purpose or the appeal of Skam in the first place.

Jumping ahead, I think this is exactly where wtFOCK exposes its true intentions. wtFOCK does not care about helping vulnerable teenagers find solutions to tough problems. wtFOCK does not care about healing or educating. wtFOCK is about shaking the audience so hard that viewers get whiplash. If wtFOCK gave a shit about helping the audience, the rest of the season would focus on Robbe and Sander dealing with the assault, giving them options to report it, showing them ways to cope with the trauma. Things that might help audience members who unfortunately also found themselves victims of hate crimes or homophobic violence. Those are not present in the rest of the season. It’s just a fucking soap opera.

If you MUST have a homophobic incident to go with your dark ‘n’ edgy season, you can still limit it to some assholes yelling homophobic slurs without resorting to violence. That’s bad enough, and it did happen to Isak and Even later in the series. Even if you decide you MUST have a violent angle to this incident for whatever reason, I don’t fucking know why but OK, you don’t need to film it in this super exploitative manner where our heroes are getting viciously beaten on the ground. But there are so many ways to incorporate external homophobia without this shit.

Wouldn’t this dreadful scene make more sense at least if it had happened after the pool kiss? Like they go out a few days later, the hate crime happens, and then THAT’s why Robbe pushes away Sander and calls him names? Because now he’s afraid and he’s internalized what the bigots said? It’s tragic and gross, but at least there’s some character-driven logic in that sequence of events.

Another thing that really doesn’t work is that they’re straying so far from the original script, but at the same time they keep jamming in scenes from the original, except there isn’t the same buildup. Or any buildup, sometimes. This results in an incoherent mess of a season and of a POV character, where Robbe is part-Robbe, part-Isak.

I think all the remakes do this to a degree: there are certain beats they feel they must hit, and they hit them even though they’re off course. You need to commit either to doing a mostly faithful adaptation of the original, or to doing a remake with your own spin on the characters, but you need to be very, very careful not to just haplessly mix ‘n’ match the two. Does a scene from OG make sense within this remake universe? No? Then drop it, rewrite it, do what you need to do, just don’t carelessly recreate it if it doesn’t fit.

The way they’re writing Jens is bizarre because he seems to care enough about Robbe to ask him how he’s doing, but also not care enough to stick around and listen once the next shiny thing comes along. From the beginning they’ve set up the friendship tension with the boy squad as not just Robbe’s fault, but as a failure of his friends to pay attention as well. Like in the first episode Robbe is trying to talk to them and they just ditch him! They really need to make Jens more aware of how he himself has messed up with his friend, and not act like this is all Robbe’s doing.

We don’t need another Noor blue balls scene, thank you, bye. But if we keep this one, then we absolutely needed to see what exactly made Robbe stop in the act of sex with her, such as him flashing back to his kiss with Sander. Or even just letting us see him make the decision, because goddamn, what’s with wtFOCK not letting this young actor actually act out some of the meatiest material?

Overall, give Robbe more baby steps in his personal development, and not unbelievable leaps and changes in his behavior because the plot demands them.

I did try to think of a way to incorporate much of the same material from this week, including a hate crime, in a way that made more sense and was not ridiculously OTT or offensive. It’s hard because I really think you need to go back to the beginning of the season, but here’s what I came up with, borrowing some elements from the last episode as well.

Robbe wakes up the night after kissing Sander. He’s happy and glowing, he sees a cute text from Sander and smiles. Then he goes to the kitchen and Milan is there with a black eye or something, he’s talking to Zoë and Senne, maybe they’re tending to his injuries. Robbe asks what happened. Milan had a date last night and some homophobes started giving them a hard time, Milan wasn’t having it, punches were thrown. Milan is very shaken and upset. So is Robbe, who panics. Is this what he has to look forward to if he’s dating a gay? Will people harass him just for being out with his boyfriend? The implications of what it means to be a gay person in this world hit him really hard. He looks at Sander’s text again and ignores him and possibly blocks him. At some point we will establish that Robbe is also ignoring texts/calls from everyone else, too: Noor, Jens, his mom...

Sander shows up the next day outside Robbe’s place after Robbe has been ignoring him. He tries to talk to Robbe, but Robbe is freaked out and visibly nervous, his eyes darting around - he’s paranoid now about being seen with Sander, due to Milan’s incident. He’s worried about being a target for homophobic violence, understandably so. Sander doesn’t realize that Robbe’s frightened, however, and keeps talking and being nice. Robbe tries to play off the other night as just him being drunk, it was a mistake. When Sander physically gets too close to Robbe, Robbe yells that he’s not gay and runs inside, leaving Sander alone.

Robbe encounters Milan at home alone. Milan is still bruised from the homophobic incident. Milan is unusually subdued. Robbe says he’s sorry for what happened to Milan, it’s terrible. Robbe then sticks his foot in his mouth by saying something well-intentioned but hurtful and ignorant about how maybe Milan shouldn’t be so gay in public or w/e, since that will just attract homophobes, and that not all gay people act like Milan (meaning flamboyant, etc.) Milan gets really, really upset and snaps at Robbe about how gay people have been beaten and killed for just being who they are - basically a version of the Pride speech with a somewhat different context - and that it takes bravery and strength, Robbe doesn’t know what the fuck he’s talking about. So that ends on a bad note for them.

Now trying to get out of the house since he’s fought with Milan, Robbe meets up with Jens, or maybe Jens finds him at the park or whatever. Jens comments on how it’s been a while since they’ve talked. Robbe says he was just worried about what the guys would say since he blew up at them previously. Jens is like, dude, we’re your friends. You have to talk to the people who care about you, you can’t just ghost them and avoid facing your problems. Robbe takes this advice to heart. Jens tells Robbe that he’s ready to listen when Robbe wants to talk. Maybe Robbe sees something that reminds him of Sander, like graffiti on a building, and despite his fears, we can see that he really misses Sander, and that his feelings for Sander are stronger than his fears.

Next he meets up with Noor. She’s really upset that he’s been ignoring her. He apologizes and a version of the breakup scene goes down. When Robbe leaves, we see him walk away with a conflicted expression. Sorry that he’s hurt Noor, but understanding that this was the right call, and relief that he doesn’t have to pretend any more.

Robbe sees Milan again and apologizes for what he said last time. Milan accepts his apology. Robbe admits that he’s been confused lately because he likes a guy and he doesn’t know what that makes him. Milan says something like that’s great Robbe likes a guy and that Robbe doesn’t need to label himself right now, he should just follow his heart. Maybe that liking boys is scary (Milan points to his black eye) and sometimes you need to be careful, but at the end of the day, Milan has to be himself and live his life honestly, and so does Robbe. After Milan leaves, Robbe takes out his phone and texts Sander saying he wants to talk.

Sander meets Robbe somewhere and Robbe apologizes for ignoring him, says he freaked out because that was the first time he kissed a guy, but now he’s made up his mind that he wants to be with Sander. They kiss and make up, yayyyyy.

This is by no means a perfect solution (like the thought of then going into the shit with Britt next episode on top of this makes my head hurt), this is just an attempt to include stuff like homophobic violence, Robbe’s ghosting Sander, scenes with Jens and Noor, etc. in a way that makes a little more linear sense to me and doesn’t feel as haphazard, and isn’t super triggering or exploitative. I think if you have a hate crime happening to Robbe himself, that really needs to be the main focus from here on out, for at least a few episodes; if you have something off-screen happening to another character, you can address the topic of violent homophobia without having it dominate the season or featuring triggering scenes. And hopefully it would still have some emotional impact, because we see how it affects Milan, and some clear consequences for character development, because we see how it affects Robbe, as the situation he may find himself in one day.

If I missed anything, cultural notes, translation nuances, let me know!

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