#not that im different or that i absolutely need him to function in my day to day life | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lycanthian · 4 months

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#i am so in love its unreal. never have i ever before felt this wealth of human emotions so concentrated over the past month and a week #genuinely mind boggling how talking to logan more and more and then dating him has literally made me feel likr a new man.#not that im different or that i absolutely need him to function in my day to day life #but its the richness that being in love brought to my life that was unexpected #i had a thing with another online friend like 4 yrs ago and it never felt like much admittedly. i almost gave up dating when he broke it off #bc i thought there was something to online dating that wasnt cutting it and i didnt stand a chance at meeting someone irl #and that entire time i knew logan at least a little bit but we didnt really begin talking often until like #6 months ago maybe? and just the more we talked the more we clicked ajd i liked him so much but i was so afraid that it wouldnt be mutual #and i was so afraid that even if he is in what feels like a pretty open polycule hed never ask me out or anything #and then he did and my world felt like it exploded into a cacophony of colors and sounds and feelings and emotions #like something had been unlocked in me that hadnt been touched in years. my ability to love.#and with that came some of the most upsetting spiraling intense depressive states of my life. but it was okay. it still is okay.#its only been a bit over a month but it feels like so much more than that bc i feel like everything is so much more vivid now #i also think im beginning to take a very particular fondness to someone else in the cule but im so not stating who or expanding upon it #he also makes me really happy but i dont think im ready to take that step yet. even if it would be a dream come true.#i love what i have now and i dont want to complicate it yet.#a extremely loving and charming boyfriend and a couple of other close friends who happen to also be dating him is good. its awesome #i just. i dont know. i dont know how logan would feel abt it. i dont know abt how other guy would feel abt it.#sometimes im not even sure how i would feel abt it #aughghhhhhhhh. yeah. human emotion. love for my boyfriend who is beautiful and loving and charming and funny and talented. ueh #i dont think he reads these rambles. sometimes i hope he does. sometimes i hope he doesnt. i love him so much #i dont want to worry him with my shit constantly but it would also be nice to worry him with it occasionally #logan if you see this i love you more than words could ever describe. im so happy that ur in my life and that you chose me to be in ur own #gamey rambles #💜

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headkiss · 9 months

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annaaa im rewatching cm again and reentering my hotch phase and u are my ultimate favorite hotch writer so may i please beg for something sweet with him? maybe like making dinner or doing some other activity together? of course this is totally absolutely no pressure at all thank u i love u <33

kait my love angel bae i am so honoured to be ur fav hotch writer 😭🫶 this one’s for u and i hope u like it!!! | 0.6k of fluff

Aaron can hear you moving about in the kitchen when he gets home.

It’s something he’s had a hard time getting used to, the intimacy of it all. The sound of pots clanging and spoons scraping dishes as you stir things. It’s the reminder of having someone there, of never really being alone. Sure, he’s not used to it, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

He’s good at being quiet, has to be for his job, so he shuts the door softly behind him and toes off his shoes. Sneaking down the hall, he spots you through the doorway of the kitchen, your hair up, back of your neck exposed.

Hotch leans a shoulder against the doorframe and watches you cook for a little, the stress of the day sort of melting away as he does.

You only catch him when you turn around, jumping and dropping the spoon you’d been holding onto the counter. “Aaron!” His name is dragged out in a whine, “you’ve gotta stop doing that.”

“Watching you cook?”

“Using your agent feet on me.”

He huffs a laugh at that one, a smile spreading over his face freely the way they seem to spread around you.

“Whatcha making?”

“Just some pasta. You wanna help?”

You offer him an apron, the neck dangling from your fingertips. Aaron takes it easily, tossing it over his button up that he’d worn to work. It’s a funny juxtaposition, the crisp state of his shirt and the stained canvas he wears over it.

“Where do you want me, chef?”

Whenever Aaron’s gone, you tend to worry and worry. That he’ll get hurt, that he’ll get tired of juggling you and his work. Then, he comes home to you, putting on your apron without complaining, and you’re not so worried anymore, because it makes sense. Having him beside you makes sense.

You grin at him over your shoulder, now turned back to the boiling water on the stove, “there’s some veggies in the fridge if you wanna cut those?”

“‘Course.”

As he walks behind you to get to the fridge, he pauses to push a kiss into the side of your neck, his arms weaving around your waist. You lean into his touch like an instinct, like there’s a string that shortens whenever he’s near, tugging the two of you towards each other.

You’re lucky to get him this way. Where everyone else sees Hotch, you only see Aaron.

Conversation comes easy as you cook together, Hotch getting a cutting board and setting himself up at the counter next to the stovetop. Not the most functional spot, but it’s the one closest to you, so he chooses it anyway.

Aaron’s not one to open up quickly. He doubts himself, questions whether he’ll be too much for the other person, worries that they’ll get fed up with his scattered schedule and leave. And then he met you and things were different.

He’d had to cancel your second date because of a case, and you’d barely blinked, telling him on the phone that the anticipation will only make it so much better, that it isn’t his fault and you’d be there when he got back. You said all of the right things and he sent you flowers and that was the start of the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Now, you live together and your toothbrushes share the same countertop and it might not be perfect all of the time but it’s as close as possible, he thinks.

“Hey. Try this for me?” You’re holding out a spoon, a little bit of pasta sauce on the end, your free hand cupped underneath it to catch any that might fall. “Please?”

You never need to say please with him, Aaron thinks, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like the way it sounds in your voice.

He leans towards you, bending to taste what you’re offering him.

“It’s perfect, sweetheart.”

Hotch isn’t lying, but even if it wasn’t perfect, he’d still tell you it was. If only to see the way your face lights up with your smile, the way you bounce a little on your feet.

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medicetwork · 11 months

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Mercs if they had modern day cellphones!

Heavy:

The screen is too small and his fingers are too big.

The screen also tends to hurt his eyes after a while but he absolutely refuses to turn down the brightness, saying it would make it even harder to see than before

His main favorite functions are video calls with Medic or his family and listening to music.

His life is complete when he discovers E-books

He can’t read them on the screen but he loves being able to clean Sasha while having his favorite book read to him

Medic:

Really doesn’t use it for much else than phone calls and the occasional google search at first

When he discovers mobile games that takes his interest though!

He becomes a candy crush mom.

Oh you have a broken arm? Wellll…You can tough it out, champ. He’s on level 7,229 right now.

He would make all the other men get Life360

Scout:

Total social media zombie(I say as if I am not one)

Surprisingly he’s very popular on apps like Twitter and Tik Tok. People think he’s hilarious!

Unfortunately somewhere along the way he says something less than respectful about something and his account gets banned

Eventually he’s on account number 6 and trying to regrow his following

It never recovers

He finds out about NFT’s

Sniper:

Mainly uses it to watch youtube and play music

His phone is always on silent and Do Not Disturb

He loves those videos where those guys go out into the middle of the woods and just start building a fucking house out of clay and sticks.

He prefers texting to calling, finding it much faster(he just like me fr)

Baffled by just how much porn he has access to now….

But he’s not complaining.

Soldier:

He doesn’t use it because he just keeps breaking his phones.

They’ve been dropped, blown up, set ablaze, dropped in water, eaten by a bread-tumor monster, eaten by Soldier(???) and run over.

Even if they didn’t get destroyed within 3 days he still wouldn’t use it for much else besides setting alarms and sending confusing group texts.

However, with each new phone he has gotten he asks Pyro for stickers and sticker bombs his phone just for fun

Has an American flag wallpaper

Pyro:

Watches a lot of Youtube!

They love art tutorials, cooking tutorials and those videos with the guys that put molten hot metal balls into water and those videos of people crushing things in Hydraulic presses

Their search history is so fucking strange:

“my little pony free episode”

“my little pony movie free”

“how to draw clouds”

“gasoline cheap prices”

They follow Scout’s pages and always send him nice comments and like his videos

Engineer:

Loves listening to music and watching movies on his phone

Eventually learns how to code and make his own apps

This is also how he discovered he could jailbreak his phone and turn it into a universal remote for his sentries

Very slow texter

Uses way more emoji’s than needed

“Hello yall 👋🏻 going to the hardware store today 🔨let me know if yall need anything while im out👋🏻🚶🏼”

His most used app is the settings app

Spy:

Of course all of his phones are burners.

He never uses one for more than one week

Loves pirating movies on it and watching them in bed

He has no contacts. No personal information and keeps his location off at all times

Likes to pretend to be different people and play around with Google and Youtube’s targeted ads and algorithms

One day he’s an 86 year old woman that’s recommended nothing but metal bands and funeral home ads

The next week he’s four years old and getting recommended Mario and Minecraft let’s play videos

He uses twitter

He’s doxxed many people on Twitter

Like Scout he has MANY banned accounts and has also hacked and stolen many accounts

…He hacked one of Scout’s accounts and got it permanently banned

Demoman:

Loves watching Top 10 videos

Also loves having so much ease and access talking to his lads

He video calls his mother often even she just nags him the whole time and keeps accidentally hanging up

Is frequently texting the other team’s Soldier and laughing at what he says back

Uses Discord and Reddit and is in many servers and communities that focus on paranormal activity, urban legends and cryptids

Actually makes his own youtube videos searching for said cryptids

Frequently comments “cringe” under Scout’s posts

#tf2 pyro #soldier tf2 #tf2 demo #tf2 engineer #tf2 archimedes #tf2 headcanons #tf2 oc #scout tf2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 heavy #tf2 medic #tf2 spy

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boytoyhalo · 5 months

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I think pac and fit are constantly surprised at the effort both of them put in to knowing and caring for each other but they're confused about why the other would be surprised. Fit learns Portuguese, Pac thinks that that's wild, Fit thinks it's just for easier communication and basic respect, and doesn't get why it's a big deal. Pac learns sign langauge because deaf Fit headcanon rules my brain, Fit is caught way off guard and doesn't get why Pac would do that, Pac is now on the side of "it's just basic respect and communication". Pac is taller than Fit and loves being big spoon because he needs to be hugging someone or something when he's sleeping or he gets really sad. Fit tries to teach Pac rock climbing and it doesn't work, so they decide to go get coffee instead. Ramón is so on board for Pac being his new dad and is in cahoots with Richas to get them together. Both of them are so sad that it's going so slow. They try to get sleepovers as much as possible to get Fit and Pac together more often. Ramón at some point is hanging out with Richas and Pac and starts talking about his dad being cool, and there's a bit of miscommunication and then it's clarified that Ramón is straight up calling Pac his dad. Pac is confused about this, because isn't Fit your dad? And Ramón is like "?? No. He's Fit. You're dad. Or pai, but Richas calls you that so you're dad to me" and it's just a circle of conversation where Richas and Ramón are just calling Pac and Fit their parents because they've decided that they're not moving fast enough, so the two of them will just have it be instead.

Pac puts stickers or engravings in his leg of his family members and at some point there's a(nother) F on there for Fit. Fit doesn't usually mess with his arm that much because he's a "as long as it functions, it doesn't need anything else" guy, but one of the scratches on it looks suspiciously on purpose and P shaped. When they're finally A Thing, Mike spends about two weeks pestering Fit about letting him mess with his arm because it's horrifically out of date and he wants to fix it up soooo bad. Fit gets it back and all of the other scratches have been fixed/sanded/ect but the P has been very much left alone, if not further engraved and Mike is just making a face about it. And Fit can't say shit.

oh theres absolutely no way fit isnt at least partially deaf, man has been in the vicinity of wayyy too many explosions to not have hearing loss and at least moderately severe tinnitus.

I respect your vision of pac being the taller one however personally i like to stick to their cc-accurate height difference of fit being Pretty Tall and pac being itty bitty. I also dont think they really spoon i think pac falls asleep starfished on top of fit and fit likes the deep pressure bcuz it feels safe and they wake up in just a fucking tangle of limbs cuz they both move like crazy in their sleep without letting go.

Ramon only ever calls fit dad in serious situations so i dont think he would call pac dad but i fucking love the image of that happening so im rejecting my own characterization for the sake of cuteness thank you for putting that in my head. also YES RICHAS + RAMON SLEEPOVERS <3333 they conspire to get pac and fit in romantic situations and then act all grossed out when they flirt (at least ramon definitely does richas probably lives for it)

fit having a p engraved in his arm is adorable, I like to think it would be the little pacman logo instead, pac scratches it in one day before theyre even together just out of boredom and fit doesn't even notice him doing it and whenever it's pointed out he just pretends he doesn't see it <3333 "I have no idea what you're talking about"

#fitpac

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staybeautifulmp3 · 2 months

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she's so patronising to him though like a relationship like that would be so annoying. he doesn't need to be told what he feels and what to do about it every day. they're fine as besties but he doesn't want more

two questions: genuinely, im not trying to be snippy at all, is this in reference to something ive said? i checked my recent postings i couldn’t find anything?? and second, um you didn’t specify who you’re talking about .. im guessing donna and harvey on usa legal drama suits? im just gonna answer to the best of my ability, as if this is about donnaharvey which im like 90% sure it is?? okay

i mean, respectfully, i would certainly push back on the idea she “tells him what to do” cus she’s certainly his emotional intelligence like she tells him what hes thinking—or at least her interpretation of what he’s thinking. theres certainly evidence of that, the scene that comes to mind is its in late s3, and mike wants to leave to take the finance job, and harvey snaps at scottie, and donna (very gently) reprimands him for it, and she tells him he’s hurt not angry “you’re hurt and the anger covers the hurt, but i know you didn’t know that.” she definitely provides him with insight into his emotions, but in a way i would argue any friend would.

there’s also a scene from season 2(?) i think, where donna is trying to get harvey to pursue scottie and she tells him to his face “i know your mother hurt you but you need to get over it” or, in other words “sorry about your mommy issues but you need to grow the fuck up.” and again i think thats a perfectly reasonable thing to say as a friend to your friend—she sees him hurting and lonely and she can do something about it, all she needs to do is encourage him to seek out a relationship with a woman who loves him, i think that’s perfectly acceptable.

i really dont see how its patronizing in any way? i mean there are certainly a couple jokes like “men are so stupid lol” but nothing that has really stood out to me as anything different than 2010s network drama gender politics, and so few and far between i cant think of any specific instances off the top of my head.

second of all, to the best of my knowledge (having seen up to 6x05 atp), that all stops when he starts going to therapy. i cant think of a single instance after season 5 when she tells him what hes feeling (i mean maybe she does in seasons 7, 8 + 9 but i haven’t seen it so i cant say lol)

but from what ive seen, her telling him his emotions stops when he starts receiving therapy with a trained professional. and thats just healthy! yknow he no longer needs to be told what hes thinking because he’s learning more about himself and his reaction to trauma and how to be a more functionally stable adult. and after that is the only way he can keep and maintain a meaningful, productive relationship.

also, not to be crass but i 100% think harvey goes face down ass up when someone tells him what to do (especially if its mike or donna or jessica)

finally i do fully respectfully disagree that “theyre good as besties but he doesn’t want more” first of all, i think you might be confusing his repression and inability to parse his love for donna as a woman and his love for donna as a friend, as a lack of attraction. i think a) hes very repressed and messed up from his childhood so like, he can fuck people but loving people is a whole other story and b) he absolutely loves her as a friend, and i think he’s just boxed up his attraction and affection for her since they moved to pearson hardman 10(?) years ago.

second of all, gabriel macht and sarah rafferty you can tell has SOOOOO much fun together and they have so much chemistry, so i distrust any interpretation of donna and harvey that doesn’t think they wanna fuck each others brains out

what was i talking about? i dont think i have a closing statement, i just think donna and harvey’s relationship re:her telling him what to do is completely legitimate and follows a natural progression of two people trying to be healthy adults

#this is like 700 words .. anyway thank you anon! i genuinly enjoy things like this as an intellectual excercise #amanda.mail #suitsposting

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ddejavvu · 1 year

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james potter bf material rn - he’s the loveliest guy ever like actually, I think he just casually likes stroking ur hair a lot, treats it like his own little love language.

u could be sat on the couch doing entirely different things, ur watching a show and he’s just scrolling through his phone, but ur laid on ur side on his thigh and his hand is just going in circles at your hair line and migrating all over ur head, maybe even a little scratchy scratchy on ur neck too bc let’s face it, he has big hands so he doesn’t really need em both to cover a lot of ground

or maybe he’s the type of bf who LOVESSSS being called ur boyfriend. “hi, yea this is my boyfriend, jamie!” And HES just stood there like :] yea im her boyfriend jamie:]. introduces himself to ur friends as ur ‘boyfriend Jamie’ and sirius especially takes the absolute piss out of him bc he doesn’t pass up a chance to introduce himself as ur BOYFRIEND, jamie. like it’s his proudest achievement and likes being reminded of it. he’ll lie in bed with u, heart eyes, just saying he’s so happy he’s ur boyfriend boyfriend boyfriend like he’d act like he was in love potion or smthn but it’s just.. james. just james ygm

^^^^^ that would be especially soft if ur intorverted or shy and took a while to build up the confidence to say aloud that he’s ur bf, not out of embarrassment but just bc calling someone ur bf is a big deal even if ur already super official (james notices it when you go from not really uttering the words to bringing urself to feel confident enough to say it)

JAMES POTTER SETS THE STANDARD AND RAISES THE BAR FOR BOYFRIENDS EVERYWHERE.

I'M WEEPING..

he's very touchy for sure!! it's nice for him to just always be touching you, he gets that little sense of safety and love from his hand on your thigh, even if he's not engaging with you. he just likes petting you sometimes, you're so right he runs his hands through your hair and scratches your scalp and you're putty in his hands reading your little book :')

he brings it up in casual conversation too!! he just likes using the word, he'll feed you a bite of his food and be like ;) boyfriend duties ;) or remus will lend you a book and he's like hey wait :( i'm her boyfriend i should be givin her my stuff :(

if you guys get married... he does not go a day without calling you his wife!! and he'll continue the boyfriend thing with husband, he wants everyone everywhere to know that you married him!!!!!!!!!!

yes omg you bring him to a family function for a first time and you're super nervous and james is ready to step in and be like ahem yes i'm her boyfriend!! and the first auntie you see you step right up and drag him over like 'hey!! this is my boyfriend james!!' and he doesn't stop smiling for the rest of the event :(((

JAMES POTTER IS THE CUTOUT FOR 'BOYFRIEND SHAPED'. HE'S THE STENCIL. NO ONE WILL EVER DO IT LIKE HIM.

#let's talk about james potter !!#james potter #james potter x reader #lovesick!james

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peach-cream-tea · 2 years

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leo headcanons because he needs more love (im totally not projecting)

Leo has insomnia, depression and adhd because i said so

He's the kinda depressed person that dissociates for hours and when his family gets concerned he plays it off as him zoning out

despite having insomnia Leo has a very detailed and intricate nightly routine (skincare, outfit change, playing music, lights candles, etc)

his insomnia is mostly because he uses his phone into the late hours of the night or because he's hyper

When he has a lot of energy at night he walks around the lair, makes himself tea or a snack, moves around his furniture, or sets small pranks on his brothers

Leo is both unable to sleep and sleeps too much. He once was so sleep deprived he took an 8 hour nap and scared the shit out of his whole family.

When leo does get sleep he's dead to the world and nobody can wake him up

Leo is able to function relatively normal even when he gets depressive episodes but he gets really bad panic attacks and dissociates

During depressive episodes he plays music every hour of the day to avoid thinking of any kind.

he has a very wide music taste and on more than one occasion has given himself a heart attack when he plays his favorite songs and the genre changes

leo bottles up his emotions like it's an olympic sport and never likes opening up. When he has to deal with doctor feelings he always tries to change the subject or talk about other people

He talks to himself, not in a "im hallucinating other people and having convos with them" kinda way but like, "i have so many thoughts running in my brains all times that i need to say my main focus out loud or i'll get distracted" way

He likes to cook with mikey and experiment with food but absolutely cannot stand washing dishes

similar to Donnie he gets texture problems. Specifically with food and fabrics. Leo will light something on fire if someone makes him eat mushy stuff or wear anything with sequins.

Sometimes when he feels really down he goes and sleeps next to his brothers

He likes to try out random things and is sorta a jack of all trades but a master of none

one of his favorite hobbies is baking or reading

leo LOVES fall, he gets completely decked out on the autumn aesthetic and lights enough candles that his family labeled his room a fire hazard.

This man zones OUT every hour of the day. The second someone talks to him for more than five minutes about something he doesn't care about he is already in a different dimension

But by god can he focus when he's reading.

he completely changes his personality when he sees a character he likes

he has a sweet tooth and chews gum every chance he can get. This has resulted in multiple cavities throughout his life.

Leo always likes to act cockey and smug but he actually has a really poor self esteem (especially after the events of the movie)

makes so many gay, your mom, and no bitches jokes that his family can actually finish his sentences and it really pisses him off

this isn't everything i headcanon him with but yeah.

#idk gay???#rottmnt #gay #leo rottmnt #rottmnt leonardo #leosagi #rottmnt leo #leo the menace #tmnt leonardo #rise leo #unpause rise of the tmnt #tmnt donnie #plz give tmnt headcanons im getting such bad brain rot #tmnt #tmnt mikey #rise of the tmnt

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pinkmoondoll9shihtzu · 24 days

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re parent regret article.... recently got my mom to admit she and my dad are deeply unhappy and the only reason they got married and had kids (in their early 20s, and it has dictated every moment of their lives since) is because it was what was expected of them and they felt like it was just the thing to do ... its very upsetting to think of how unhappy and unfulfilled my parents are but at the same time its kind of freeing because I understand a lot of their actions better now and their inability to raise us and give me the care I needed. this year I am older than my parents were when they had my oldest sibling and I kind of feel like im older than them now because theyve never fully grown past that point at least not as individuals. ya I suppose everyone has their paths in life and it all fits together and works and means something but it is very sad to realize your childhood was painful because your parents were really just not suited to be parents and couldn't have done any better. im trying to not be weighed down by their lack of self actualization and to be an example for them by manifesting my life in the way I want despite them being upset by it, and to encourage them to become real people now that theyre 60.. umm ya sorry your inbox has become my therapy sessions recently it just feels so much better to confess these things anonymously and write it all out to someone instead of trying to explain to someone face to face and have it deal with their responses. plus i think u understand a lot of my issues although objectively our lives are quite different! anyway yeah hope you have a nice day!!!! xoxo 2012 :3

ilu <3 i relate to much of this i will detail my thoughts below , im glad my inbox can be of use to u i believ The Confessional is a very necessary function in society it can be so transcendent to get something off your chest w/o having to affect your personal life in any way ^^ and i did have a super nice day ty i hope u did too..<3 :readmore:

it is really crazy to think about the pressure ppl face to start families , seems to be less prevalent now but yeah even 20-30 yrs ago it was just, What You Do.. for my parents, they were in love, and i think they rly did want kids, they were together for 5 years before doing it they planned it out, i DO believe they were soulmates. but then once the reality set in idrk there was just this disconnect. my dad was the more nurturing parent, and he had kids from a prior marriage so he knew wat he was in for, i think he missed my brothers a lot so he had perspective. i assume anyway. but he was also major alcoholic which i thought was normal for so long (in england it is i spose). that took up a lot of his time. i know so little about him or his inner workings its quite torturous to me lol.

and my mom is still alive but i know so little about her too, other than stuff i learned thru drunken outbursts. when i try to ask her anything remotely personal or emotional now she stonewalls me so hard :/ she's always just been closed. her childhood was Horrific tho like both her parents were still minors when she was born, her mom is a WW2 orphan and her dad was a delinquent forced to enlist in the navy instead of being sent to juvie. all the stuff she HAS revealed to me abt her life is absolutely bats**t. its awful like i genuinely can not feel a single morsel of bitterness towards my mom knowing wat she's been thru.

that being said i WAS extremely angry at her for a big portion of my life its been a journey to unravel. but at this point i feel so much forgiveness idek how i got here or when. but i love her unconditionally! i also feel that my moms self actualization was rly stunted, not even by having kids but by my dads death, and being left with these kids she has to care for alone, oh god if i try to imagine how she felt it turns my insides to stone. like it really fractured her soul and made existing problems spiral out of control. although that being said she is doing WAY better now in comparison to the past, im rly proud of her. when we talk i try to always encourage her like u say..

really the best medicine is being able to zoom out and view the big picture of Life, not just your life but how all our lives fit together, when you zoom out you can spot the patterns find the order in the chaos. for ages n ages i cldnt understand the reason everything in my life was hell while all these other ppl i knew seemed to have it so normal. Nowadays i can understand how it lead me here, the trajectory and timing of everything, it brought me a lot of EXPerience i can use to help others..Even just by having this blog where i can talk about vulnerable topics , ppl tell me it helps them, i begin to see a new sense of value in my endured sufferings. if i feel like im healing someone that heals me ..

thanx for the msg :] ermm i hope my response dont come off as traumadumping or something LOL i write this all with a matter-of-fact tone in mind. just explaining some stuff for anyone who may need it. hope u have a good night 2012-chan keep shining bright for your family.. <3pmd9

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ladyryukyo · 1 month

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Hello, I hope work is going ok

Haha, I also hope this is somewhat coherent, but I am very bad at assembling my thoughts into something that resembles a narative, but here are some thoughts that has been carouseling my mind:

Recently, I have been thinking abou beyblade fantasy AU's: A grant adventure, a world fractured into many fighting factions (some human, some elven, some with magic powers and so on), soon to be overshadowed by The Great Dark Lord Nemesis™️

The legendary bladers are propheciesed to save the world, and as of now most of them traveling together on some great mission to raise an army to defeat Nemesis or smth (everyone except Ryuga? Have a very hard time imagining him going anywhere with anyone). However the legendary bladers are NOT a cohesive unit, they are from different factions and have a hard time trusting each other 😔 </3

Along with this, I've been thinking a lot about armor: how to make it functional and actually protective, while still evoking the feel of the bladers original outfit... (ok actually I've mostly I have been thinking about how to make armor, that looks like a crop top with a big billowy coat for Kyoya, but at the same time actually protect his vital organs)

My solution for now is probably layering some chain mail under some cut up shirts, but then I ran into my second problem: that much armor is heavy, noisy and warm (since you'd also need layers beneath the chain mail), would an adventurer even wear that much armor on a day to day basis?... So now I am trying to come with a way to balance that out... (Actually after writing it down tho, Kyoya specifically would absolutely see wearing heavy armor as a great training exercise...)

Also bc Kyoya gets special treatment as my favorite character, and I think he could use more "great-destiny-I-didn't-pick-and-thus-don't-want" issues: Mayhap his mother is the heiress to one faction, but she was driven away by an usurper, who is now out to kill her and her descendents? (No scars from *accidently* falling windows in this AU)... (Also maybe the usurper is paying Chris to take care of her descendents?)

Aaaahhh anyways thanks for reading all of my ramblings <3

henning i can always count on you tysm for sharing your ramblings w me <33

fantasy au my beloved!! the idea of the legendary bladers roaming around the lands and trying to rally an army while constantly bickering with each other is so funny. i have to agree that ryuga probably wouldn't travel with them but! imagine the kenta & ryuga interactions in this scenario :(( kenta tries to learn magic from ryuga who is so so good at it but unwilling (and without the patience lbh) to teach. kenta just stares at him really hard and tries to learn by observing ryuga do impossible feats of magic. ryuga acts annoyed but he also loves the attention lol

plsss kyoya in fantasy armor is simply amazing and badass. id love to see it. i know its impractical but i do imagine him in a chainmail crop top or something similarly unnecessary but stylish. anything for the glam. could also imagine some kind of corset top-like leather armor? i think leather armor would be the go-to for adventurers anyway.

kyoya is the perfect protagonist for a "refusal of the call" trope lmao. it would be a "fuck this, im gonna do my own thing" situation with him. every. time. "i don't care that you're a god or fate or whatever and you can't tell me what to do."

d-did you just make kyoya/chris possible in this au?? FJFDHSSJS maybe it's just my permanent brainrot for this ship but! chris keeps failing to assassinate kyoya but he's come close a couple of times and also kyoya's scars being a result of one of chris' assassination attempts and also they know each other by now after all this time and they probably keep bickering while trying to kill each other which is so unprofessional but it's almost like they're friends and do they really actually truly want to harm each other at all at this point?

... im blaming you for this tangent lol thank you henning i truly appreciate this <3 love you

#work was good and my bosses were so appreciative that i volunteered for today which is nice :)#it was busier than i expected i didn't manage to answer while at work #but i read your ask and thought abt fantasy au the whole time until i got home hehe #metal fight beyblade #mfb #evil monologue followed by evil laughter

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pastafossa · 1 year

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so i've asked briefcasejuice about this already but i'd also like your take too - since you're part of the daredevil tumblr fandom council and all ...

I'm writing this scene and one of my ocs asks matt if he can handle spicy food and i wanted him to explain this whole thing about pain receptors in his mouth being "sensitive"... and how he hated pineapple because of the bromelain...(the substance that breaks up the protein in your mouth, that's why it's tingly)

and then my oc asks about like regular "body" pain since touch is after all one of the senses of his that have been heightened, and he explains something along the lines of even if the feeling of pain is heightened -- his body isn't actually weaker or more sensitive - so while he gets injured like anyone else he feels the pain of those injuries differently (more). over time he has gotten used to it but its still something he's working on as he hurts himself worse with every fight.

WHAT I'M GETTING AT is that i came to @briefcasejuice about this because they're very knowledgeable about matt stuff and comic matt especially, and they told me it did sound pretty accurate - so now i guess i just want to know -

how do you interpret or view matt's sensibility when it comes to pain - and if it came up in TRT (which maybe it did and i forgot oops?) how would you write it out?

and btw - congrats on the mango thing!! what's next on the fruit discovery journey 🤨 (what else can i be shocked that you didn't try)

Ok first of I love the idea of a Daredevil tumblr fandom council, because now I've got the image of all of us gathered solemnly to talk about DD fandom topics and headcanons like

Second off, ooooh this is a good question. I can't remember if I've ever gotten deep into it in TRT, although it'll probably come up eventually. But I absolutely agree with @briefcasejuice, and with your take on it. This seems right, for a couple reasons, including my own experience with pain.

So a lot of this is based on my own issues (and one of the reasons I relate really strongly to Matt's sense of touch, touch starvation, and pain, and when writing generally include him being comforted and going near comatose beneath gentle touch). Without getting too specific, due to chronic pain and health problems, I experience something called allodynia - "pain due to a stimulus that does not normally provoke pain." Basically, my nerves are all spun up to 11 and even light sensation often reads as pain, regardless of whether I'm actually hurt - Matt's comment about 'cotton feels like sandpaper on my skin'? I get that, cause rough fabric's painful to me (another ex: put icy hot on my skin once, just about clawed it off my arm because I was convinced something had gone wrong and it was burning me). And on bad days, even very soft fabrics or, hell, a breeze, any sensation anywhere I have nerves feel like bits of glass grinding into a burn. Best explanation I have for a really bad day. And we know Matt's sense of touch is heightened. So I often think he feels a lot like me, and how you described it feels right.

Everything hurts more, even if you're not being hurt more, and even if your body's strong enough physically to take whatever's being done. Physically, there's no reason his body can't handle cotton sheets, or a food with acid, and God knows the man can take a punch. Functionally, his body is fine. But his nerves don't act that way. They send way more signals than they need to, and sure, this helps if he's trying to use them to his own advantage, but it also means he's left wide open to a far higher degree of pain from stimuli that most of us would consider more minor (pineapple, in this case) along with the pain we all regularly avoid.

Does he mostly block it out? Yes. Especially on a day to day, to the point where he may actually miss smaller injuries because he's focused on tuning out other, larger pains. I know I do - your brain eventually just goes 'oh new baseline and I still need to live so Imma put everything below it into the background so it doesn't stop us doing what we need to'. I hug people, I touch things that are rough, I use hot water with the dishes, and if I focus on it, I remember that it hurts a bit, but I've learned to tune that out for the most part. Much like me, Matt's dealt with this for years, so while he does what he can (soft sheets, avoiding certain foods, wearing certain types of clothes), he's gotten used to a lot of the day to day stuff he can't avoid, though like you said, as the injuries pile up, it just gets worse and worse as that pain stacks. Some of it might be tempered by surges of adrenaline and endorphins (why I theorize he can fight even when injured - tune it out thanks to all the practice, PLUS fighting so ferociously that his body pumps him up until he can ignore it, at least until he crashes afterwards, and crashes hard), but he's definitely feeling it far, far worse.

So I basically think it's likely, especially when pain is stacking, that he's just made a bunch of calculations for his everyday life on what's worth the pain and what isn't - certain foods? No point. Cotton sheets? No point. There is no benefit, and so he comfortably avoids it, whereas going out to fight he generally always sees as worth it since there's a tangible benefit. Those calculations at least are something we all do every day - we decide the pain of a tattoo or working out or that sour candy is worth it cause it gives us something we like. Matt just takes it up to 11. I can absolutely see him taking something like, say, pineapple - tingly and acidic - and not only feeling pain when eating it but also just literally running the mental math and going, 'yeah not worth it' because he's in enough pain day to day thanks to injuries and other things he can't avoid.

In summary: you're right and I headcanon Matt operates much like someone who's been dealing with allodynia for a while, which means he'd feel more pain from stimuli even if it's not hurting him, so he chooses things in his day-to-day to avoid and then just throws himself into the pain on big things and hopes the endorphins and adrenaline will help him tune it out.

LASTLY THANK YOU ON THE MANGO! I cannot BELIEVE I went so long without knowing how fucking delicious they were. New fruits I haven't tried that are on my list now that I realized I need to find if there are MORE DELICIOUS UNKNOWNS LIKE MANGOS: boysenberries, figs, grapefruit, guava, kumquats, passionfruit, papaya, prickly pears, and satsumas!

#daredevil #matt murdock #headcanon #allodynia #this is how i treat matt's dealing with pain anyway #i know it's not exact so i often make some adjustments #but there's just things he's said or done that resonate too much for my brain not to go 'like me??? matt is like me???'#which is strangely comforting #and so i've used a lot of personal experience to fill in the gaps on how he might operate in his day to day #and how he might function #in that he's YES more sensitive to pain even if there's not technically more pain #he just FEELS it more and his nerves TELL him it hurts more even if it's NOT hurting more #on the up (down?) side he can probably stand getting stitched up easily because he's felt way WAY more pain so it barely registers #because he's so used to tuning out even more pain so his brain's used to filing that away #BUT #when his concentration is down or he's tired that gets harder #same during injury stacking which'll only get worse as he gets older #either way he'd look at shit like pineapple and just go 'uh no that hurts I'll pass' because there's no good reason to eat it #we joke about matt's catholicism making him suffer and I joke about it too but #i think in reality he'd do these subtle little avoids for stuff like this unless he was REALLY depressed or in I Am Stick mode #or just has a good reason #and on some bad days he probably can't stand being touched tbh and would barely be able to drink room temp water (cold = pain)#at least it means the reverse it true - he'd absolutely melt beneath gentle touch or pleasant things or fleecy soft fabric #and sometimes even on bad days if you touch him *very* gently he'll tolerate the pain because he knows #that the oxytocin he gets from affectionate touch helps dull the sting just a little #(i realize this sounds bad ya'll can hug me if you see me at the con i won't turn them down i like hugs they're worth the sting)

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yuuli-xiv · 4 months

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abt roleplay

i have basically not roleplayed at all since i broke away from the cat guy but im still a bit salty about the fact that a thing i only realized now is that every single interaction id had with both him and others at that point was primarily focused on how people acted toward eachother, centering mainly around how they navigated attractions and divorced from most other situations. only the scenes i initiated for my personal lore sharing were about what they actually were and what function they served in the setting.

not only that but he even had a strange away of understanding attractions and interpersonal relationships both in and out of character. his character only started treating the one of mine he was dating with affection after i directly asked him to, which he did relent to but not without telling me "sex acts are a form of affection" or something similar to that. it was a bit unusual for me.

but additionally like being a cat person played absolutely no part in any single interaction, and this extended to different alts of different races. and there were many such cases where the basics were not at all acknowledged. professions? irrelevant. upbringing? irrelevant. personal belief systems? irrelevant. goals and ambitions? irrelevant.

the only relevant information in these roleplays were sexual orientation and whether or not you could get away with treating someone badly or being disingenuous for the comedy value of doing so. that was it. its given me quite the distaste for snarky rogue types.

im at a point where i dont feel anything about the cat guy anymore, could never talk to him again but theres no malice at this point, im just frustrated at the lack of creativity that was being put forth even though i was engaging with these roleplays for several-hour-long sessions. turns out writing about sex is not rewarding for me at all lmao

compared to what im doing with my current partner its a night-and-day difference. i was looking for story. i was looking for stakes. i was looking to build upon and develop my characters. and i have gotten all of that in spades. even when we go long swaths of just not working with these characters at all i still feel satiated, i dont have that gnawing hunger for these things anymore because it doesnt feel so far out of reach now.

when i asked the cat guy about any of those things, i got these stories about how we needed to set aside "planning time" and how he was too exhausted from putting effort into running his dnd campaign to put effort into those things for me, and the "planning time" never came around in the end. our time together was near exclusively erotic roleplay that he "didnt have to think about" and was using to unwind.

i cant really begrudge him that but i wish he had been transparent about it from the beginning so i had never set up these expectations at all, heck i didnt even know what i was consenting to the first time we roleplayed and he kept saying "consent is key" before he started fingering my character lmao. i think that is why it confused me that he felt so heartbroken when it all ended… even if i do feel bad i still dont understand.

is... this an allosexual thing? am i too demisexual to sound normal here? was this something i should have expected all along? i just dont know.

i wouldnt make this post at all ordinarily but i cant let go of it if i dont talk about it somewhere. will probably nuke this when spring rolls around

#🍳

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gayspock · 1 year

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OK SOMEEEE gripes

im ACTUALLY extremely conflicted on some of the present day stuff and i think its mostly down to the characters

like im very happy with jeff, and i think he's fine as is - brilliant, even, bc hes a genuinely refreshing take imo as opposed to what they could have easily done (i.e unlikable, distant from it all husband). not that he would be CRAZY or unreasonable to resent shauna, but like... its just fucking so much funnier + more interesting to me to see a character kind of just go with it, rather than to have them stew in angst. like i think its more interesting and allows for them to explore different beats than what you'd assume they would if you'd just known the basics of what shauna was up to. imo

similarly i was happy with adam as a character, too, and i think they developed him well enough for who he was and how he functions in this story. im glad he didnt turn out to be javi (if he was, i guess, bc he still could be technically that kinda suck wway more now tbh booo) and whilst there was nooo way he was gonna survive if he was just some guy which he was

theres also guys like kevyn. my jokes aside abt how scary he is im kinda fine with him, and i do actually makes some kinda sense that hes a cop + that he's now so straight-laced. some loser divorced dad. and it'd be a good comparison to natalie, and the lifestyle she lives now and how their paths diverged. however i kind of wish they'd... just let him go? like i wish he'd been at the reunion, and they'dhad that exchanged and then he'd just walked away to his wife and kids and her back to the yellowjackets no return no return no return huh what was that YEHA. my point is. i feel like there's no true resolution between them two thats organic and it just kinda feels weird to keep him around past that. i know they need a cop character for whats happening with shauna now but it just feels kinda ... bizarre to have him playing that role with that creep dude. bc whilst i do prefer limited characters in a show like this and to keep it tight and clean it just feels weird for it to be him and for it to be THAT insular AND, again, for him to keep sticking around when i dont feel like theres anywhere for him to go.... like its kinda DIFFERENT with the other cop dude, bc he isnt pre-established and he does kinda just function moreso as just. a fucking yuckhead fuckhead but instead its just this weird uhhhh. and kevyn is back! um. he will continue serving this purpose and we will never touch on him and natalie again. bc we shouldnt ofc but it also feels weird to have him there without ever mentioning it LOL

who else. fuck. like i am also very conflicted abt tai's wife and son like.... they do just feel a bit like- theyre just there? and i think that DEFINITELY makes some sort of narrative sense with tai, and with her whole deal- she has it all, she has everything but she has nothinnggg but... IDK KINDA SAD MAN. bc its weird i'll go back to this with jeff and callie, but it does make SENSE that the non-yellowjackets characters are always gonna be secondary with the story theyre telling in more ways than them just being secondary characters but with how fucking impossible it is to reconnect with fucking ANYONE after everything they did/went through BUT ITS LIKE... like i said i kinda like jeff and ironically his absolute lack of personality became a personality, whereas with simone&sammy i feel like theyre just kinda... SUPER functioning and that does kinda make me worry because whilst i know a lot of ppl are yelling for tai/van endgame... i dont know it feels weird to write them off fuckin completely which is what i feel like the show might kinda lean into at some point...😭like i want more for them, and from them. and i also sorry i also hate fucking "scary child who sees the supernatural" trope SORRYYYY its so tired to me and so lazy . give this kid some proper fucking development

and i think its also another issue im having with the present day stuff. theres too many characters rn and its being misspent. like do not get me wrong im not against quirky elijah wood BUT i feel like misty's ENTIRE. FUCKING. ARC. RIGHT. NOW. would be so much more fucking effective if she was alone and tracking down natalie by herself and kinda struggling with that. OR if they kept up her rapport with jessica- like have her tag along, whether it'd be under the guise of a fixer or not, and maybe have her cause some tension bc again if eel like.. ITS SO MUCH WEIRDER just having jessica's entire stint just come to an end in the way it did and it would have been a much more solid throughline into s2 than to bring in elijah wood whos just genderbent misty and its like . ok its just nott.... INTERESTING TO ME... SO WHAT. SHES FOUND A GUY LIKE HER? WHO CARES MAN. IM SAYING THIS AS A LITTLE FREAK WHO CANT CONNECT WITH OTHERS & YEARNS FOR KINSHIP, LIKE... I JUST FEEL LIKE ITS KINDA BACKWARDS AND REGRESSIVE AND NOTHINGGGG. jessica was a much weirder fucking dynamic and i think could have been interesting and i do think theres ways they could have had them both pursue natalie but now its just... ehhhhhh like

and i also feel like elijah wood is kinda bringing up the comedic parts of misty's story and dont get me wrong i LOVED a lot of the dark humour bits from her in s1 but i feel likw now its kinda getting too close to just. that. kinda like just oh funny joke funny dark humour. and losing a lot of the substance it should have, which is kinda necessary to the humour itself....AND he's sort of stealing her limelight like WHO CARES. GO AWAY DUUDE. have confidence in misty to be able to CARRY this shit, cmon, bc no offence elijah but SHE WAS WAY BETTER AT IT! bc thats whats so GOOD ABOUT THE SHOW OTHERWISE- you have the confidence to let all these girlies to carry their plotlines by themselves, so dont slip!!! GET BACK UP. and again im saying with the too many characters thing- its just... ehrhh. who cares to spend so much time on him??? whos just out of nowhere when its like.. again i'd prefer it if you spent that time with taissa or with .....

CALLIE. SHHES PROBABLY THE PERSON IM THE MOST CONFLICTED ON IN THE WORLD. bc in so many ways again i feel like we cant focus on her too much in shauna's little life that shes made for herself but I JUST... I CANT HELP BUT FEEL LIKE WE'RE IN THE MOST UNCOMFORTABLE SPOT IMAGINABLE WITH CALLIE, wherein we dont get enough of her and her side to really empathise with her but we get too much of her to find her on the wrong side of irritating-AND THAT. SUCKS. THATS THE WORST. EVER. BECAUSE SHES LITERALLY A TEENAGE GIRL. I FEEL LIKE THERES SO MUCH MORE THEY COULD DO WITH THE RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN SHAUNA/CALLIE IF THEY PUSHED FOR IT MORE, BUT ITS JUST... again its in this such an awkwwaarddd position where they only bring her in to be difficult it feels like. and the thing is? shes being reasonable. MORE than. shes totally justified in all the shit shes doing. but bc of the unfortunate way its framed she comes off as...... sadly.... unlikable which . again AGAIN IT SUCKS. BECAUSE SHES A TEENAGE GIRL AND THIS FEELS LIKE THE FIRST SHOW IN A LONG TIME TO HAVE A CAST FULL OF UNLIKABLE FUCKING TEENAGE GIRLS BE THE BEST EVERRRRRR AND SHE COULD BE SO GOOD MAN SHE COULD BE SUCH A GOOD WAY FOR SHAUNA TO LOOK INTO THE PAST BUTEE..... they kinda just write her off too and bring her up to cause complications obly. thats all it is. and i dont know i do get it i dooo get it bc again it makes SENSE with shauna and who she is and where her life is that the presentation would thereforebe kinda more her perspective but also... i do just feel... ITCHES. LIKE IM CLAWING AT THE WALL

ok last thing maybe idk. idk how i feel about lottie at all. its strange. i felt like she..... was kinda not present enough in s1. does that make sense ever at all. i wish we had more from her and her whole visions thing, and she had as much focus in the past as the others did from the very beginning. bc i feel like in s1... we didnt see enough of her in that regard? like we got her- we got bits of her. but not enough of her-her. bc im fine with her kinda story on paper (ish) and how its playing out but i t does feel weirdly unba;anced across s1 / s2. and its throwing me a bit there

#Egg.txt #yellowjackets liveblog

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butchviking · 1 year

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I get what that person is saying but I don't think men experience "misogyny". I think it's related to misogyny and it's related to homophobia but can't properly be called either.

Patriarchal cultures are like a cult or religion of male supremacy, utterly obsessed with propagating themselves. That is why they control women brutally as they literally control the propagation of human life. But culturally, they are also obsessed with creating men that can make more men like themselves. There's different molds for different cultures of course and with different acceptable "types" of men even within the same culture (ie being gentle is unmanly, BUT you can be gentle if you make up for it by being violent through rhetoric and community function - think of Priests or otherwise "gentle" seeming very religious men, and how for them it's interpreted as being "dignified" in a way it wouldn't fly for other men). So while there's some room for variation, there's still a strict sort math involved for how unmanly you're allowed to be, and a strong artificial upbringing to mold boy as much as possible.

So going back. That process of molding is what she's getting at. It's not that men experience "misogyny" or that straight people experience "homophobia". Rather patriarchy needs to mold boys into men capable and willing to carry out misogyny, homophobia, and other cruelty to perpetuate itself, and they most certainly are willing to abuse boys just enough to make sure they get those results - if not by directly changing that boy, then by teaching other boys by example what sort of behavior deserves cruelty. And there's an in-built cultural anxiety at people outside of these roles, and even a panic response to them in children. This is why say, even conservative women react violently and urgently to something like their little boy wanting a butterfly face paint instead of something manly. It's a panic response!

Anyway this is just my two cents as a moid, sorry for the essay v_v ... but I think misogyny and homophpbia proper really have to be preserved to define the experiences of people who strictly do experience that on a life-long and systemic basis. But idk certainly thought provoking...

i think it relies upon one being mistaken for the other. a straight man can experience homophobia, i do know that - some guys beating on him for looking like a fag aren't going to stop when he insists "you've got it all wrong! im not actually gay!!" and i do also know that males can experience misogyny, if they're perceived as female - and that does happen to "cis" men too. a lot of ppl have called this "misdirected homophobia" & "misdirected misogyny" in the past but when i was talking abt this last i was arguing that the "misdirected" is kind of neither here nor there. it's happening, misdirected or not. they won't ever experience the full weight of those marginalisations - even the campest straight guy in the world can still marry his wife, and the most female-passing transwoman you'll ever meet will never need an abortion - but they can absolutely still experience facets.

the thing i thought was most interesting in that post was the thought of the straight teen still figuring out their sexuality & internalising the homophobia they recieve bc they think they MIGHT be gay... in a way thats still a case of one being mistaken for the other, but in an internal rather than external way. they're experiencing homophobia externally bc someone else has mistaken them for gay, and experiencing it internally bc they have mistaken themselves for gay. but some day they figure out that they're not actually gay after all - what does that experience leave behind in them? (listen to frank iero barriers to find out)

what ur talking about i would just call gender socialisation. gender is a system constructed for the purpose of misogyny, it's the framework of patriarchy, but i wouldn't argue that men experiencing negative aspects of gender socialisation & enforcement are experiencing misogyny. those are distinctly different.

#ask #anonymous

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asexualzoro · 2 years

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Hey! Just read Wish! It was so good! and now I have to ask- how would things have gone if instead of Ace, Luffy was the one who could see that Not Sabo is in fact an imposter? Like their roles here got swapped?

(shameless self promo for any followers seeing this ask: read Wish)

oh, thank you! i'm happy to hear you enjoyed it! god i miss Wish, i was just thinking abt it the other day, im thrilled youre giving me a reason to talk abt it again

that said... if the roles were swapped, and Luffy could see notSabo for what he was... hmm...

that one's difficult. on one hand, Luffy's a bit oblivious and gullible (and, at the point in which the story takes place, 14. he hasn't really been exposed to, yknow, any of the stuff that's made him a bit more hardened and responsible from being captain). if he asked about not having eyes, notSabo would probably be able to lie his way out of it easily enough. he also thinks very highly of and has a lot of faith in his older brothers, and he's always been incredibly optimistic, so i think on some level he might be willing or want to believe this is Sabo, so it might be easy enough to just accept "my older brother doesn't have eyes anymore" and roll with it.

on the other, Luffy can also be fairly intuitive, and for all his optimism, something coming to hurt and replace Ace is unforgivable. if he realized something was after Ace, he's not exactly going to try to work things out? he's very much known to see someone being a threat to people around him and shoot first, ask questions later. if notSabo makes a move to hurt Ace, he's throwing hands, regardless of whether he thinks this is Sabo or not.

so... im not sure there would be a functional difference. Luffy's simple like that, i guess. yes, his not-actually-dead brother's got some weird stuff going on, but he likes weird stuff! up until that weird stuff is a threat to the other brother, of course

this does remind me though... in the original version of Wish, when it was first being hashed out, notSabo was actually thought up as Luffy's wish, not Ace's. it then shifted to be a shared wish that both of them had made, but as the plot came more into focus, it became clear the wish needed to be Ace's alone.

if the wish were to make itself obvious and visible to Luffy, i feel that would imply it was Luffy's wish. which begs the question, "what did Luffy wish for? what does the wish hope to achieve?" i don't see Luffy wishing for himself to be replaced--he's just not that sort of person, doesn't have that sort of self-loathing, especially not at 14--and the idea of wishing for ace to be replaced would obviously never cross luffy's mind. the wish absolutely must come at a cost--the eyes it asked of ace, after all, were representative of ace's own soul, taken in two parts. in order to become real, to be given life, it needed ace's life. if Luffy wanted his brother back, notSabo would still need a life to sustain itself. what is the cost, if not Luffy or Ace? what would notSabo want?

its important to note that the wish never thought itself evil or cruel or malicious. it just wanted to make ace's wish come true. it didn't think it was doing anything wrong or horrifying, you know? it wasn't its fault ace wished sabo had lived instead--it was probably convenient, even, that the cost of its existence was covered within the wish itself.

a full role-swap, where Luffy can not only see notSabo but made the wish as well, would be interesting for a completely different reason. the cost of the wish isn't covered and i have no idea how they would pay it--assumably they'd have to exchange another life, right? another loved one? one of the nobles who killed sabo? a complete stranger?--or if they'd want to pay it. which makes for a fascinating story concept.

i very purposefully never really delved into what notSabo was or how it worked, simply because i think the mystery makes it scarier. and man, that sure does leave a big, terrifying question mark here, huh? how fun!

thanks again for your kind words and for giving me a reason to go on about Wish again! i hope this answers your question!

#ask lew #fluffypanda-20 #fake sabo au

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pepper-steam-milkshake · 11 hours

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im hanging onto functionality by my teeth

btw i want yall to know that when youre feeling like absolute shit calling someone you care about dearly makes a world of a difference. im not kidding. i called my dad earlier and literally was sobbing on the phone to him and he managed to help me feel motivated enough to do literally all i needed to for the day

#original post #i dont know how often thatll actually work but it was like fucking magic today #anyways ive started the draft for splinters ch 12 #pepper’s life

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beaopalmoon · 27 days

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im so tired of being sick

its constant and no one has given me any answers. i get an infection, i get antibiotics, as soon as the antibiotics run out i develop another, different infection.

if Chip had not entered my life i would be stuck, miserable and barely functional. i'm still trying to take care of myself and my home, for him. so he doesn't worry about me as much.

the plus side is that we have been playing games together a lot, and after we played warframe for a few weeks i got on to the topic of star trek and now we're both obsessed lol. i mean i have been interested in it for most of my life but i only ever finished watching all of DS9 before. otherwise i have an approximate knowledge of some of the bigger plot points from other series. but like, as we were catching up on Prodigy and Lower Decks i kept stopping to explain references the shows made... (which was both neat as a fan of older trek stuff but also annoying as shit but thankfully Chip still enjoyed the shows) now we're watching a few Voyager episodes every day and i'm just like. enamoured. i always love experiencing new games and shows with him but like, revisiting a franchise that my dad adored has been so wonderful.

obviously we would prefer to spend more time together in person, but he works hard and we just have to work around what little extra time he has after he's had enough rest. for valentines, he and i went to the beach and that was absolutely spectacular!! i'm still really uncomfortable with interacting with people online now, but i have been drawing more again and i need to work of fixing up my commission sheet and page. i have watermarks on things that aren't relevant to my handle now.

i'll post my recent art after i get that fixed though.

#bap

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