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phntmeii · 9 months

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If you write for e42 miles could you write some hcs for him

♡ Dating Earth-42 Miles Morales Headcanons:

❝ I'm Miles Morales. But you... you can call me the Prowler. ❝

[SFW + Fem Terms Used]

A/N: That accent went crazy for the movie ngl. I’m so hyped for more of him ahhsidjs. Sorry for this one being a tad shorter just because we didn't get to see enough of this ver. of Miles </3 Also, requests are open ofc :) ty anon!!

🕸️ This version of Miles is much more serious about his work and how busy he can be. He didn’t think he had time to look for someone.

🕸️ Then, there was you. Miles couldn’t take his eyes off of you, just watching as you passed by. He’s having an internal conflict because he doesn’t want to invest himself in someone just to lose them but he can’t stop thinking about you.

🕸️ So he ends up defaulting to just watching you from afar for a while to try and learn what's special about you. And with each day, that feeling grows until he just one day does it and talks to you.

🕸️ He's confident but quiet. A lot of his sentences are short and to the point. He looks down at you as you talk, keeping his eyes on yours. He's giving his full attention to you.

🕸️ He also does the thing of having his hands in his pockets and leaning down to hear you better. He knows exactly what's he's doing.

🕸️"Shit... desculpa, ma... didn't hear you. Say it again for me?"

🕸️ I think this version of Miles would be the least obvious with his feelings at first. Half the time you can't tell if he's actually into you or not because he seems disinterested most of the time but when he's in his room, he's sat listening to love songs and picturing different scenarios with you.

🕸️ His mother taught him right so when he does ask you out, it's not a casual text of "will you be my girlfriend" or something basic like that. He's taking you out at night to somewhere with a nice view where he has your favorite flowers, then he asks.

🕸️ He isn't too big into PDA. Not because he doesn't love giving you his attention but because Miles is a very chill and settled guy in public.

🕸️ Most of his "PDA" are small things like hand holding and whispering romantic things into your ear.

🕸️ Yes, many of his pet names and flirty comments will be in Spanish just because he knows you like it. He usually defaults to "mami" or "mamas" when talking to you.

🕸️ Once he's more comfortable, he likes to be a tease because he knows it sets you off especially if you're busy. He'll just open up your window and sneak in while you're doing your work just to feel you.

🕸️ He'll have a dumb grin as you smack him away, putting his hands up in surrender. "Ay, lo siento, mami... Didn't know my girl was so focused."

🕸️ There are some times where he just sweeps you away from your work any way because he wants to spend time with you. He'll never admit to being clingy despite doing that.

🕸️ Definitely the type to do shit just to try and piss you off cause he thinks he’s funny. He’ll rest his arm on top of your head, make jokes when he sees you’re annoyed and act like he’s the one wearing the pants in the relationship to friends when in reality, he’s all too obsessed with you and treats you like royalty.

🕸️ In public, acting like the man, meanwhile in private, he’s all “yes ma’am omw o7”. LMAO

🕸️ Miles can instantly tell when you're in a bad mood. A slight change in the way you text and he's already thinking about how to fix it.

🕸️ "good morning mamas 💜" "morning" "tf is 'morning'?? nah, start over." "what?" "my girl not starting the day like this. im coming over."

🕸️ Miles' main Love Languages are: Quality Time and Words of Affirmation.

🕸️ Miles needs to be around you which is why he'll sneak off to see you. It doesn't matter if you're busy with something, he'll just watch you and keep you company as you do it. (Although, he might try and distract you.)

🕸️ He’ll let you do his skincare or do his hair (if you know how) but he’ll likely complain the whole time even if there’s no reason to.

🕸️ Like he’ll complain about not being able to touch his face when he has a face mask on or that you’re being too rough when doing his hair even though he loves when you do this for him (He’s being dramatic.)

🕸️ “Ay- Shit! You havta fuckin’ pull that hard?” “You want your braids to look good or not?” “I want to have hair by the end of this.” *proceed to smack the side of his head with a brush*

🕸️ He’s definitely a flirty guy. He’ll text you suggestive messages when he knows you’re in public or at a family event just to mess with you. He’ll also send super romantic paragraphs to you over text when he knows you’re asleep.

🕸️ There is no insecurities allowed about yourself when you’re with Miles. The moment he hears self doubt, he’s showering you with praise because his girl is perfect in his eyes. There is no one else but her.

🕸️ "baby. i feel ugly today" "ugly?? tf are u on?" "i just feel idk like gross" "mami don't start allat. u know ur too fucking gorgeous to think like that." He then sends several 1-3 min voice messages freaking out to you about how lucky he is so you know that it is impossible for you to be "ugly" in his eyes.

⤷ divider credits: @cafekitsune

#atsv miles #spiderman atsv #atsv x reader #atsv miles morales #miles morales x you #miles morales x reader #miles morales x y/n #miles morales headcanons #e42 miles #e42 miles morales #e42 miles morales x reader #e42 miles morales headcanons #atsv headcanons

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thegaybluejay · 1 month

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Just for fun, here are my rapid fire rambling thoughts on the ATLA ships and platonic dynamics hehe (please don’t go full ship wars tho - these are just my opinions as a chill multishipper!)

My Favorite Ships:

• Zukka - My current brainrot and main ship!! I know they aren’t canon but I really love them and their potential okay😭I just feel like their personalities would work so well! Sokka would call Zuko on his shit and Zuko would be good at grounding Sokka when he needs it. Plus I have seen some absolutely breathtaking AUs with this ship! And fire-and-ice vibes except gay! Them <3

• Kataang - Cutiessss!! I love them! They may not be the ship I think about most often, but when I do think about them, they’re adorable! Aang is such a “my wife” guy and Katara absolutely adores him back! Also the last airbender x last southern waterbender dynamic goes HARD! I like that these two are canon!

• Yuetara - Listen I know they barely interacted but THEY’VE ACTUALLY GROWN ON ME SO MUCH LATELY AND I VERY HIGH KEY SHIP THEM! Something about like, Katara thinking about Yue when she bends is so😭Their story would be heartbreaking in the best way!! Sapphic noncanon blorbos <3

• Mailee - These two are SO cute and have so much potential rahhh!! Again, love some noncanon sapphics <3

• Batkoda - Super SUPER cute and silly and fun! The dads fr <3 Bato is either Katara and Sokka’s adopted uncle or their stepdad and I love it for them hehe! This usually pairs well with a “Hakoda adopts Zuko” AU lmao!

Other Canon/Relatively Popular Ships:

• Zutara - A pretty good ship! I see the potential and tbh it’s very very fun to think about sometimes!!! However, some of y’all toxic Zutara stans need to leave my boy Aang alone lmao. Those who are chill tho, I rock with y’all!! Overall, I’m not opposed if it’s done well and I do occasionally seek out Zutara content! I personally do prefer seeing/writing them as found siblings tho, especially with the Azula and Katara parallels!!

• Sukka - Canon cuties!! I really like them! Suki my BELOVED <3 She’s so underrated!

• Yukka - Also canon cuties! They make me sad tho ahhhhh😭😭😭

• Maiko - Also ALSO canon cuties!! They have an interesting dynamic that I can really appreciate! And gotta love Mai <3

• Jinko - Jin my beloved! These two had a super cute dynamic during the one episode they had together lmaoooo, tho I don’t think about this ship too too often.

• Tokka - I don’t mind it if it’s them getting together as adults! But tbh I personally don’t prefer shipping them as teens and I think Toph’s crush was just a typical young girl crush on someone slightly older lol. Definitely not horrible and most Tokka shippers are relatively chill! I like to think Sokka sees Toph as a little sister tho.

Now For Some Of The Crackship-y/Less Popular Ships (based on ships I’ve actually seen):

• Zukki (Zuko/Sokka/Suki) - Power throuple fr and I love some polyamory!! While I mostly lean plain Zukka, this is extremely fun to think about and would be a great dynamic!

• Mai/Ty Lee/Suki - Saw this in a Zukka fic once and it was adorableeeeee! I may not have plans to actively write this or anything, but it’s cute! Another power throuple!

• Jetko - I don’t think they would be compatible long term, but by god they are very very fun to think about in a “Jet flirts with Zuko and Zuko is completely oblivious and they share one kiss before everything goes to shit” way lmao!

• Taang - I can respect it!! I will always love them as chaos siblings personally, but it’s a totally valid and chill ship!

• Katoph - Not a bad ship at all! I’ve only come across like one post tho lmao. Also I do think I heavily prefer them as found sisters, but that’s just me personally! Again, totally a valid and chill ship!

• Azutara - I’m very neutral on this lmao. I don’t despise it at all and it could be pretty interesting?? But tbh really not something I plan to seek out.

• Azulaang - I mean?? I’m also pretty neutral on this one. Aang would be kind to her if she was trying to get help but…idk lmao.

• Tyzula - I see the potential, but I personally think Mai and Ty Lee had a healthier and more interesting and more realistic dynamic. Just my preference tho!

(I think I just want Azula to be in therapy before I reallyyyyy ship her lmao, but NOT THE KIND OF “THERAPY” SHE WAS GIVEN IN THE COMICS)

• Zukaang - I don’t love this as a ship honestly. The canon age gap as teens is sketchy for my personal taste, tho I’ve seen people ship them in “Aang was 16 when he got frozen” AUs and that’s…better and I can get behind it a little! It would be interesting! But I think Roku being Zuko’s great-grandpa just still throws me off of this ship. I don’t have any beef with the shippers tho! I’m very “live and let live” and I have seen so much worse lol.

Can’t Forget My Fav Platonic Dynamics!

• Sokka and Aang - Two found brothers who share one idiot braincell when they interact LMAO! Love them always <3

• Sokka and Katara - The siblings ever!!

• Zuko and Aang - Enemies to found brothers!! Canon besties! I love their friendship and their parallels SO MUCH!!

• Toph and Katara - Absolutely ADORABLE as found sisters!!!! Love them!

• Zuko and Katara - I really like their development in a platonic sense and I think they’re very very fun and lovely found siblings by the end!!!! Zuko is 100% the brother that just “yeah my sister can and will whoop your ass” LMAO!

• Zuko and Toph - Also very found siblings in my head!! Only have a handful of solo interactions in canon but I DON’T CARE! I WILL FOUND FAMILY THEM ANYWAY! I’m a “Toph seeks out Zuko for sibling hugs/cuddles when she’s cold because he’s basically a space heater” truther.

• Uncle Iroh and the Gaang - Zuko needs to learn to share because that is ALL OF THEIR Uncle!!!

• Hakoda and Zuko - I thrive in this section of the fandom!! They have exactly one (1) frame together in canon, but I ADORE Dadkoda adopting Zuko! Something about it is just so wholesome and cute!!! My very very fav ATLA fics are this trope!!#LetHakodaBitchSlapOzaiAndAdoptZuko2024

• Uncle Iroh and Zuko - God they make me so ALSNDKSNXNCNSNSNXNX, y’know?

• The Gaang as a whole - Obvious I know, but I really do love them😭They all bonded sm and I adore their little family!! I eat up fanart of the Gaang cuddling like CANDY omg. And yes Suki is included in the Gaang because WHY WOULDN’T SHE BE!

Anyway, thanks for coming to my TedTalk. If you made it to the end, you get a big platonic kiss on the forehead MWAH!

#atla #avatar the last airbender #zukka #yuetara #mailee #kataang #found family #fanfiction #the gaang #multishipper

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tabithatwo · 11 months

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Lowkey imagine the breaking my silence meme bc it feels real for this sentiment but I don’t want to add it here okay? Are you ready? Are you prepared for me to maybe piss you off a little idk how this will be received so just keep an open mind (or don’t I can’t control the gates of your brain I guess but at least I’ve warned you!!)

I think the fact that the two main ways of categorizing jackie taylor are, when boiled down to their simplest terms,

(1) popular mean girl who is a selfish bitch who I hate

(2) loser girl failure who isn’t actually popular or talented who I love

is ummmm sort of telling.

Like. Stay with me. I’m not hating on anyone. Actually, if you’re in group one I am hating on you a little tbh and you can clock out early and start sending me that hate anon now lmao cause this post isn’t really about you. But group two! stay with me for a minute because I get you! I really do! But I want to challenge that thinking and sort of examine it.

Why do we need to twist jackie into something else to like her? Like, if you see jackie as kind and loving and generally just a teenage girl trying to do her best, right? Why then do parts of her have to be “explained away” to a degree? She’s the striker and captain of a nationals bound team. Why does she have to not be a successful athlete to align with the sweetness that you see in her? Yes, coach martinez tells her she isn’t the best on the team, but we see how they treat allie who isn’t actually up to par. There’s nothing to indicate that jackie isn’t very good. Why does she actually have to be friendless besides shauna? Yes, it’s clear those two are codependent and mostly attached at the hip, but in the pilot we aren’t given reason to think that jackie is some friendless unliked girl. She’s socializing with different people and they seem to like her plenty. When she lines the team up yeah, there’s eye rolling, but they listen to her and they seem to mostly take her compliments fondly. She’s homecoming queen, that’s decided on by people voting you in and, generally speaking, you have to be liked and known by a lot of people for that to happen (again if you’re someone who thinks she’s an evil manipulative bitch somehow, this isn’t directed at you lmao).

Why can’t a girl be pretty and decently popular and talented at her sport and be kind and lovable? Why do we see a girl like jackie and need her to be secretly bad at that shit and not widely liked to find her palatable?

Like (1) girl is either truly pretty and popular and talented, so she’s a bitch OR (2) girl is sweet, so she can’t actually be pretty and popular and talented.

That’s the formula we’re fed constantly and I’m really tired of it cause it’s rebranded misogyny that we internalize and accidentally project onto the world tbh and I’m guilty of that in ways, like I’ve been there!!!

But idk. Yeah, Jackie is awkward at times and not good at popping deer tendons and embarrassingly earnest and a lot of other things along those lines!! But you can be all those things and still be everything else she is y’know? That’s sort of my whole point.

Anyway, let girls be good at things without that making them a bitch is what I’m getting at, I guess. Because I see a lot of people defend jackie from the “she’s a mean bitch” hate by saying “no she’s not, she’s literally got one friend and she’s not even good at soccer.”

And it’s like WELL idk about that!! And even if that was true, why is THAT the automatic defense against someone calling her a bitch?? Why are those two things so heavily equated and not even viewed as a logical leap? Why is the defense not to bring up all the kind loving things we see her do, but to chip away at the traits that she possesses that we are trained to find obnoxious or hateable in women, but aren’t fucking innately bad?

Anyway just a thought! I don’t hate anyone for making a joke about girlfailure jackie okay! Some of those are so funny and legit but it’s an overall trend I’m discussing! And like the idea that to be a girlfailure in the ways that she is, she must also be not well liked and bad at the shit she loves! Just an observation! <3 <3 <3

#I love having a long absence from tumblr and immediately saying THIS lmao but like! idk! on my mind!#I might have another absence tbh my month is batshit but I DO plan on getting to my mountain of asks I SWEAR #anyway!!! jackie taylor is very special to me!!!#jackie taylor #shauna shipman #jackie x shauna #yellowjackets

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sugaringcozy · 5 months

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Donghyuck/Haechan Natal Chart Reading - Part 1: Personality, Mind and Identity

Disclaimers:

☁️ I will mainly be referring to Haechan as Donghyuck in this reading as I am referring to the actual person, not his stage persona. However, elements of his career/stage persona do come in and I may refer to him as Haechan then!

☁️ This natal chart reading is for entertainment purposes and this is just my perspective. Take this with a grain of salt.

☁️ My intention from this reading is just to understand Donghyuck better and appreciate the person he is, where any troubling topics come up I do not claim to know them as fact or wish to speculate.

Please do not copy my work and credit me if referencing!

Personality

Standout Traits: Intelligent, changeable, sensitive, intuitive, hardworking and creative.

🫧 Eighth house in Gemini - Starting off with this because it is a perfect summary of everything I’m about to cover. Donghyuck is a really magnetic person, a brilliant mind and naturally draws attention to himself. However, he has many sides to him and is a complex, interesting person and much more sensitive than people realise.

♋️ As you can see, Donghyuck has a LOT of Gemini on his chart lol. As such, there is a lot of Gemini energy. His Gemini chart stellium and Ruler show how well he can fit in with different groups of people, he’s a master at ‘fitting in’ - and he understands exactly what the public are thinking and want from him.

🪩 However, while some people like this are natural chameleons, you will never forget when Donghyuck is present. He is a ‘life of the party’ type as we know… but has a tendency to shock or contradict the normal way of thinking. He is a natural contrarian and doesn't have a filter. Combined with his impulsivity, he has a tendency to say things which are too blunt or taboo. These natives tend to love dirty jokes and I think Donghyuck does too lol

🔥 Gemini Sun and Mars Conjunction - gifts him incredible will-power and passion. Hyuck’s warrior self wants to work with his sun self, which is positive - he is fiery and brave, and this is what makes him SO competitive and ambitious.

💢 Scorpio Ascendant - Scorpios are seen as very mysterious and complex people, but they are actually incredibly honest and funny people. This makes sense for Donghyuck as he is sometimes a little too honest with his thoughts lmao.

🧸 Something else which really stood out is how sensitive he is. I will get into this more a later on, but just having a Cancer Mercury (with his Gemini stellium emphasising Mercury traits anyway) AND Pluto in 1st House makes him very expressive, sensitive, and reactive. Hyuck is someone whose feelings are always on their face. Unfortunately a tendency for mood swings can come with these signs, exacerbated by a Gemini stellium and other water signs...

🤹‍♂️ Leo Moon - At his core, Hyuck just loves to be creative and entertain others. He has a great sense of humour, but likes to tease and get on people’s nerves. This is his love language! BUT it also comes from a need to create fun for himself if there is no entertainment around him. However, when he winds people up and gets into arguments he is forgiven just as easily. Leo Moons are very lovable people!!

🦁 A fixed Moon makes him incredibly loyal, determined and hard-working - this is brought out even more by the Leo placement. He has incredible stamina at work.

🩹 His Leo Moon self can be a little uncareful, and he has a tendency to sulk when his pride is hurt. Hyuck will also have a tendency to be emotionally dramatic and really perform his feelings (no surprise to anyone lol). Pride is a big thing for Leos and this is both good and bad, he can be a little bossy, petty, and will sit and sulk if he doesn't get his way. In terms of Hyuck as a person, having a Leo Moon in the 9th house is wonderful. He is extremely intelligent, open-minded and able to read others very well.

🎭 People with a Leo Moon house placement are almost always naturally gifted with acting, dance and performance. A Leo Moon in general is the perfect placement for a life in the arts.

🏆 Aries in Donghyuck’s fifth house compliments his Leo moon perfectly - as a person, Hyuck is playful, athletic and competitive. Takes pleasure from perfectionism - wants to be the best, keep improving himself and be the first to do things. He has an incredibly youthful and boisterous - playful energy.

☁️ Uranus in Aquarius - Free-spirited, very unique personality. Creative and very intelligent. Intuitive and empathetic, but sometimes over-opinionated. Having Aquarius in Uranus (the house of change) suggests Donghyuck loves change and excitement - really fits with his other signs and placements. In fact, Donghyuck needs change and excitement in all areas of his life. Aquarius’ (myself included) are known for being lovably weird - we just do things which other people can't make sense of. I think this sign is quite fitting for Donghyuck because he definitely does some strange, hilarious and unexplainable things sometimes. It’s the embodiment of giving in to your impulses, and when combined with the flippant nature of his Gemini stellium it explains some of the crazy things he says so casually.

💫 Something which will keep coming up in this reading is just how forward-thinking Hyuck is. The Trine between Gemini Sun and Aquarius Uranus really demonstrates Hyuck does NOT like old-fashioned and stuffy views and wants to talk about taboos - which is a big deal in a deeply Confucian society like South Korea.

🪖 Jupiter Saturn Conjunction - Makes Donghyuck strong-willed, proud, brave and prosperous. Willing to work for his goals and has patience in achieving them - this is especially true in the context that he became a trainee as a child, with odds stacked against him and has worked his butt off to get where he is today. A mix of incredible luck and being a profoundly hard-worker.

🃏 Opposition between Jupiter and Ascendant/ ‘Jupiter Setting’ - Always very bold people with something quirky about them - usually a larger than life presence and good sense of humour - likes to play ‘the fool’.

🐂 Capricorn in the third house - Donghyuck has grown to be an incredibly resilient and resourceful adult. Very hardworking and will withstand pain to achieve what he wants - he understands sacrifice very well. Fits well with his Saturn in 6th House making him very dedicated and reliable.

🦚 Neptune in Aquarius means someone with a lot of unique inspiration who likes to be bold and daring. Hyuck is also genuinely compassionate and wants to fix problems for the sake of harmony - harmony is really important to him.

🎨 Moon and Neptune Opposition - Donghyuck’s imagination and creativity is really a gift - he will be able to come up with such unique concepts and authentic ideas if he can harness his imagination and his emotions properly.

🗣️ Mars in Gemini - A gemini speciality - king of debating!! Hyuck can and will debate anything, especially if bored or wanting to get his way… as we know lol

🌊 Trine between Venus and Uranus - Creative and experimental person, good with his hands and has very good fluidity of movement - I think this references his talent for dance and general creativity. Naturally talented with musical instruments too.

🫂 Going back to his sensitivity, this can be a very positive trait as it is also where he gets his empathy. Donghyuck’s empathy is something to be admired and he isn't given enough credit for it - he is actually very affected by seeing people hurt and feels a great deal of compassion for them, because he has the ability to feel others' feelings.

🎭 Virgo Midheaven - Virgos love to help people and to make things, I think Donghyuck would have always gone into a creative profession. He can struggle to express his feelings verbally but he will always express his gratitude to fans through his performances and devotion to his craft. Knowing his music makes people happy during hard times will also be very touching for him, and it truly makes the hard days worthwhile.

👀 Virgo Midheaven also shows him to be a lover of the taboo and unexpected - if all his friends got tattoos, he wouldn’t. If no one in kpop had a tattoo, he would be the first to get one. He’s just naturally a contrarian because he enjoys thinking for himself and making his own rules lmao (probably why he cheats in games too).

🌟🦂 Midheaven in Virgo - 10th House cusp, Scorpio Rising/Ascendant - Intense but captivating personality, you can’t look away from Donghyuck. Again, keeps his insecurities and deep emotional thoughts to himself despite being a very honest person. He will always express his feelings rather than say them outright, and he censors what he does share with everyone. Craves privacy and control, might be why he hates showing his tummy/bare skin to fans - Hyuck has set a boundary here that no one is allowed to cross - though the Virgo aspect could also show it also stems from a place of self-consciousness and doesn't trust others not to compare his body with other idols.

👤✨ Pluto in Sagittarius - Hyuck understands his subconscious truth and has a sense of identity separate from the society. Modern and open-minded views. Pluto being in the 1st house is interesting though, it shows this huge intensity in his personality and I think this really fits him, he’s just all-in.

Section 2: Mind & Emotions

♊️ Typical to Gemini nature Hyuck is restless and he has such a busy mind. This is supported by his Sun in 7th house too - the inside of his mind must be a very loud place, and all this energy inside him tends to spill out as hyperactivity.

☀️✨ Gemini Stellium - There is a sense of alienation Donghyuck feels often, both in life experiences and in personality. He feels judged for being honest, and his Gemini Sun in 7th House alludes that he gets along with many people but truly ‘clicks’ with few. This Gemini Sun in 7th House can become very negative if he is not surrounded by encouragement and stable relationships. It is heightened by his Gemini Sun-Venus conjunction in 11th house, opposite a Sagittarius Pluto-Chiron conjunction in 4th house which will make him place a huge amount of importance on whether he is socially accepted and loved. It gives him an edge of determination as an idol, to become ‘the best’, ‘the most loved’, BUT he will also have felt very depressed about himself at times and comments about his appearance as a kid will have really stuck with him. His self-esteem is actually quite low. These two aspects at the same time often manifest as someone thinking they are unloveable or ugly, and being afraid of emotional intimacy. ☹️

⚖️🙇🏻‍♂️ Neptune in Aquarius - this is a fixed sign so again Donghyuck is very fixed in his values although his mind and interests change often. He’s a rebel who can't make his mind up on a cause. Can sometimes feel a bit alien or like he has a hard time understanding others. These natives tend to be deep thinkers underneath their flashy exteriors and Donghyuck probably thinks a lot about the deeper stuff and issues he cannot find answers to. Might be why he finds religion grounding and helpful (will go into that in Identity). Again very stubborn in his ideas, but his mind will change so quickly (esp. with all his water signs) that he will suddenly lose interest in arguing his case!! ❤️‍🩹 Along with his Neptune in third House - Hyuck is also really sensitive to people around him, and really needs supportive friends and encouragement.

🌑⚔️ Leo Moon - Again a duality here where Hyuck is intensely self-critical, never thinking he has done enough or being satisfied with his performances, but is very prideful about his opinions and his singing and dancing talents. Moon in the 9th house can show insecurity about emotional intimacy and suggests Donghyuck copes with this by acting out his emotions. By making everything a big performance, he doesn't have to admit to his real vulnerabilities and fears. He also does this to avoid rejection, because as mentioned, he can feel misunderstood and judged.

🔮☁️ Leo Moon and Sagittarius Pluto Trine - Donghyuck’s intuition and gut feelings can be really strong when not clouded by fear, so much that he could even be psychic. Has a lot of psychic protection, maybe from his ancestors.

💢🔥 Gemini Mars - Makes Donghyuck especially fiery in anger - he can have a temper and I see him as the type to get really mad, and then get over it quickly because Geminis are so changeable lmao. However, the Gemini Sun and Mars conjunction can also show Hyuck can be consumed by his feelings - definitely the type to rant, to argue or yell into his pillow - definitely swears a lot off camera. If really provoked, Hyuck has the potential to say things in the heat of the moment which are cruel and cold; forgetting his humility. But due to his empathetic nature, Donghyuck will then feel terrible about it once he calms down. Combined with self-criticism/self-doubt, he is likely to suffer from anxiety without grounding and support from loved ones. For Hyuck Mars is in the 7th house which is interesting as Mars is in the natural house of Venus, its polar opposite. Donghyuck has an incredible ability to channel his anger/frustrations into creativity if he doesn't let himself wallow in it.

🌪️ Mercury in Cancer - A deep thinker with a lot of mental energy and a VERY good memory. The inside of his mind is very loud though lol. Like many water signs, Hyuck is emotionally changeable and can experience mood swings and overwhelming feelings which he moves on from just as quickly. In the eighth house it gives Hyuck a very busy mind, especially with the emotionality of Cancer so Hyuck likely has problems switching his mind off. People with this placement often have insomnia or vivid dreams.

🧠⚡️ Uranus in Third House - Really rapid thinker, genius ideas just come to Haechan and he notices patterns easily. This is probably what gives him that scheming edge whenever he plays a game. Needs intellectual stimulation all the time & will have a wide range of hobbies (with his Gemini stellium I think his hobbies probably change often too) and a short attention span. In a lot of ways having such a busy and varied job as an idol really suits him. Donghyuck also has a very restless mind and thinks a lot. Again, puts a lot of value on his own ideas and beliefs which he has gained through challenging rules and authority. Hyuck knows he is different from most people and it can heighten a sense of ‘not-belonging.’

☔️ Trine between Venus and Uranus - Must be encouraged to share his deeper thoughts and feelings - again this could be his issue with being emotionally intimate. Hyuck is the type to try to demonstrate how he is feeling without having to tell you.

🥊 Square between Jupiter and Uranus - Some restlessness and anxiety can occur with this placement. Donghyuck has a strong urge to break free of tradition and to be free of ordinary routine - in this sense I think being an idol is actually an excellent career for him, as long as he doesn’t beat himself up over mistakes. Also makes Donghyuck a natural thrill-seeker and risk-taker. People with this placement tend to have very modern and open-minded views and a bold sense of humour.

💡 Opposition between Jupiter and Ascendant/’Jupiter Setting’ - A slightly negative aspect - Hyuck can fail to really consider the opinions of others because he places a very high value on his own beliefs/ideas, which could cause friction in relationships. Seeing how much Haechan has grown up over the years though, learning to be quiet and letting others believe what they want - I think he has an awareness of this behaviour and is trying to grow from it. For the most part it is something people just grow out of with maturity and experience 🫶

🌑🩹 Lilith in Capricorn - Lilith is where we hide our taboo sides, our trauma, shame, insecurities and hidden desires from the world. I read Haechan as a perfectionist (Capricorn) who is unable to ever feel fully satisfied with his achievements and skills. He is an insane workaholic as we know, but he nevers feels he has done well enough. There is also a part of him which is cynical or a little icy, as a result of trauma and disappointments in his life. Can be afraid of showing his delicate emotional side to people (goes back to the ‘funny loud guy’ front he puts up.) At times (off camera, as Lilith is a hidden side) Haechan probably comes across as quite serious or detached. This placement also suggests a deep inner fear of loss and can stem from feelings of abandonment. It really hurts him when he is rejected, and his pretending not to care or to have quickly moved on is a defense mechanism. However, Hyuck has an extraordinary stamina and resilience when it comes to times of hardship and conflict.

🖤🔒 Eighth house in Gemini - His privacy is something that bothers him. He wrestles with himself over what fans should and shouldn't know about him/his life. As an idol he likely also feels he cant fully be who he is inside, so there is a conscious mask - he loves to push boundaries but is afraid to push too far, so he moderates what he shows of himself even around the members. There are things even they don't know about him. Along with his Scorpio Ascendant, Donghyuck feels a need to control what people see of him. A good example is his ‘customer service’/on-camera voice, which is a purposeful decision as he knows fans like Haechan to be cute. However it is also so that he can keep some of himself private and put a boundary between Haechan and Donghyuck.

🌀Twelfth house in Scorpio - Donghyuck is too good at burying his feelings and his secrets, which is unfortunate because then he has to carry the burden of them by himself. Donghyuck hates to talk about the low points of his past, his insecurities, fears and failures and this means he works through his issues in private, not wanting anyone to know. This can mean he suffers in silence, and that he needs to learn to process his feelings and let others in. This house can indicate someone who is almost unaware of their own psychological suffering or resists being vulnerable. I don't want to say I am worried about him - there is much positivity in his chart too, but I’m glad he has a supportive circle around him in NCT and I hope his family are the same.

Section 3: Identity & Appearance

👑 Gemini is associated with Mercury, the androgynous planet, so having a Gemini Sun and Venus will mean Hyuck doesn’t feel the need to play into masculinity the way some male idols do - he is happy being seen as cute, having long hair and doesn’t look for validation in his masculinity the way a lot of men do. King shit!!

❓ With a Gemini Sun in 7th House, Donghyuck really struggles to find a sense of identity separate from what he is to others - his self-worth and identity is dependent on how others see him, quite likely because becoming an idol at such a young age has really restricted his social development and sense of personal identity. They say becoming famous as a kid is a type of trauma and so I imagine he is stuck - stunted - with his understanding of himself, and therefore most of what he knows about himself is related to how others see him.

💫✨ Gemini Sun and Aquarius Uranus Trine - Hyuck is naturally very intuitive and in tune with the universe. In turn this makes him empathetic and able to really feel others' pain. This also means he probably dreams very vividly and has strong gut feelings. Because of this, he may be drawn to find answers to the unexplainable through religion or spirituality. This trine also shows an absolute hatred for routine - no matter how his life played out, Hyuck would need a varied and busy job.

👣 Square between Aquarius Uranus & Scorpio Ascendant - Haechan is the epitome of a self-made person, but I think he is conscious that he did not have a normal upbringing and this placement brings up the lack of self-identity and experiences that other people his age have.

🎙️ Uranus in Third House - Usually these natives have a distinctive voice - for Haechan and his angelic vocals this is absolutely true. Also a really expressive communicator.

🪐 Jupiter in Taurus - makes him broad-shouldered and attractive. Again shows an innate respect for religion/spirituality - interesting bc as we know he seems to be exploring his faith with Mark’s help. A Jupiter in Taurus native also has a tendency to indulge in his pleasures, but with his financial prosperity this shouldn't be an issue. Hyuck is sensible enough to know when to reign it in.

🔮 Cancer Mercury in Eighth House - Donghyuck feels there must be a greater purpose to everything, and has a great hunger to learn the complexities of life and things we cannot understand through religion or the supernatural. This tracks well because I know he has been seen praying before concerts and Mark bought him a bible - so I guess faith is something they talk about.

⚔️ Opposition between Mercury and Lilith - Quite a hard placement, finds it hard to understand himself and there is a continuing theme of an inner conflict.

🎯 Mars & Uranus Trine means natural charisma is attractive and feels exhilarating to others - he’s bold and exciting and outrageous. It adds to his natural competitiveness.

🏴‍☠️ Aquarius Uranus in 3rd house - Hyuck has a rebellious streak and a dislike for authority and strictness. This tells us the way Donghyuck sees the world - he sees social norms as boring and is distrustful of authority figures. He is absolutely the type to HATE rich assholes & chaebols who act as if they are better than others.

⚔️📝 Square between Saturn and Uranus - Describes some inner tension or unrest which gives a huge amount of creative energy and boldness. Combined with his other placements, I think this speaks of the conflict between Donghyuck and Haechan. Donghyuck is not a confident person and is actually pretty unsure of himself, so being Haechan on camera/stage allows him to become everything he is afraid he lacks - the unrest inside him creates a huge amount of creativity and boldness through his Haechan persona.

💸 Moon Sextile Venus - This placement attracts popularity, comfort and wealth. Can be a little over-indulgent in things he enjoys and likes to spend money.

Also such a cute placement, basically meaning Hyuck is naturally a very lovable, soft and endearing nature. People naturally want to take care of him. But, people with this placement are usually so good at being adorable that they can simply rely on this to get their way, so has a tendency to manipulate others with his cuteness.

💅 Venus in the 7th house also means Hyuck is naturally attractive and charming without needing to try. Along with his Venus & Mars Conjunction, Hyuck has what is referred to as a magnetic appeal. People are just drawn to him, and he would be a fascinating and attractive person in any career. Masculine Mars & feminine Venus conjunction is also interesting, I choose to see it as a balance of these energies within himself. Hyuck is confident in his masculinity!!

😷 Square between Jupiter and Uranus - this is a slightly negative placement. I think Haechan feels confined and very conscious of the ways he has to moderate himself/hide his real self. If Haechan wasn’t an idol I think he would live an unusual lifestyle in some way and not pay much attention to social norms. However, we know what other people think really matters to him, so I believe this adds to this feeling of 'I can't show this side of me to the public'.

🩶 Chiron in Sagittarius 1st House in Retrograde - Suggests there is a disconnect with who Haechan is at his core and how he fits into the world. Again goes with this theme of a lack of self-identity or knowing things about himself and life for certain. I have this too and the best way I can describe it is just feeling… lost. It is hard to commit to decisions, and deep down it can be because you don't think you deserve success or the things you want most in life. It can be a fear of losing purpose once you actually have what you have worked for. This is part of his life path to overcome, and it will get easier for him.

🌟 Venus is a powerful planet in Donghyuck’s chart so it suggests he is in control of his actions (even if he cannot control his feelings). This is really positive and attracts wealth, respect and fame. A really good placement for a famous person.

Section 4: Health

Venus in 7th House - Vulnerable to back problems. 💢

People with Saturn in 6th House tend to be obsessive workaholics. However, they have a tendency to be overworked for long periods which is good for nobody’s health and likely adds to the emotional exhaustion mentioned in Donghyuck's other placements. Health issues can occur due to stress (which would mean high blood pressure, fainting, heart problems etc.)

Sixth house in Taurus speaks of physical exertion - it is suggesting Donghyuck is overdoing himself physically and changes will have to come in the future as it will continue to impact his health.

Honestly I don't think Hyuck has a predisposition to heart issues, I think his illness occurred because he is so overworked and hasn’t treated himself with a lot of compassion 🙁 The good news is he seems to be doing better now, and this kindness for himself will grow with age. I will touch on this later but he will go through a huge emotional transformation in the next couple of years + will really come into his own. 🤍

~~~~~~

Thank you for reading! ☁️ 💖

~~~~~~

Next - Part 2: Career, Passions and Work Life

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#kpop astrology #nct astrology #haechan #lee donghyuck #nct 127 #nct dream #astrology #nct #lee haechan #nct imagines #nct headcanons #astrology observations #natal chart #natal chart reading #sugaringcozy

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glade-constellation · 7 months

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October Takeover is finally over again, an it’t time for me to give my take on the video.

First, I’m gonna talk about LAES real quick. I like that Castor and Pollux seem to be slowly going to Lunar and Earth’s side. Castor is actually helping Lunar with his powers, which is really going to help Lunar get in control of them. I’m suspecting there might actually be a fight between the Celestials in the future over if they’re going to keep Lunar alive or not. Some of the Celestials don’t actually seem like they hate Lunar, they just hate that Lunar has powers like them.

Next, the Eclipses. I’m actually really happy Nice Eclipse is choosing another name. There are way too many Eclipses in this show. I feel bad that he decided to do it because he feels the name is tainted, but it’s going to help differentiate him as a character now. I’m probably still going to stick with calling Ruin Eclipse Ruin to help differentiate him. I love him, and I’m so very much hoping that this isn’t an act on his part. I really hope this is the real Ruin. I just wanna like, hold him lmao. He’s so confused but he’s trying his best, and he’s so nice. I do wonder about the monitor though, and if Ruin can decipher what the Virus left on it. I’m wondering if something on it may help with the Stitchwraith situation. I’d feel like whatever was left on it was still important, as the show took the time to point out that Ruin can still see and understand it.

Last, I’m going to start with Bloodmoon, because I’m going to go into some heavier topics when talking about them. I’m really hoping they redeem them. Not even add him to the “good guys”, just give them a redemption arc. Maybe an anti-hero role. Don’t kill them off. I’m so tired of the narrative of “this trauma survivor came out ‘wrong’ so they have to die”. Do you see how fucking messed up that is? To say that someone couldn’t “heal correctly” from trauma and the only “cure” is death? Fuck no. It’s disgusting. I already had to watch it happen with Eclipse and I’m going to be fucking livid if I have to watch it happen again. Bloodmoon, since first coming online, has been used as a tool to farther other people’s goals. No one has actually cared for those two except for themselves. Coming to terms with that shit will absolutely fuck up your brain. This is coming from someone who went through something similar. When Bloodmoon screamed “FREEDOM” and ran from the situation? I understood what they were feeling in that moment. I’m really, truly hoping that Nice Eclipse continues to help them past what he already did. Bloodmoon deserves a chance to know what the words “freedom” and “family” actually mean.

#🌟 Ten Talks #tsams #sams #laes #the sun and moon show #sun and moon show #lunar and earth show #tsams lunar #laes castor #laes pollux #tsams nice eclipse #tsams ruin #tsams bloodmoon #tsams eclipse #cw death #tw death #cw trauma #tw trauma

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hsvh-hp · 3 months

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You know I agree with you that fanon paints Lucius as a much worse father than he was and I don't like that either, but do you not think indoctrinating your child into a genocidal cult + coldly demanding that he be the best in class and publicly humiliating him about that ("if [my son's] grades don't pick up, a thief or a plunderer] may indeed be all he is fit for") is bad parenting?

Like I'm not saying "he is a bad parent" or "he is a good parent", I'm very hesitant to label parents (real or fictional) in such a one-dimensional way because parent-child relationships are so incredibly complicated. But at the same time it is very important to me to acknowledge even little things parents can do that can really have a negative impact on children. And indeed in Draco's case they do, leading him to want to be a Death Eater, to seek validation from Voldemort (when he disarms Dumbledore he talks about wanting to be the Dark Lord's favourite, he doesn't want help from Snape because he has a need to prove himself etc) and contributing to his general insecurity and need to be better than everyone & getting upset when he's not, because if he's not the best all the time then he feels really bad.

One big reason I dislike the fanon tendency to make every morally questionable parent an extremely physically abusive monster is precisely because that erases the representation of how the smaller, psychologically/emotionally damaging things they do can still be traumatising.

It goes without saying that there’s nuance. I would never say nor claim that Lucius did nothing wrong or didn’t make mistakes. By mere virtue of holding bigoted beliefs, he signaled to Draco that there were things he could do or be that might undermine his father’s love. To me, it doesn’t even matter if Lucius is otherwise perfect as a father. That small thing, in a kid as needy for love and validation as Draco is, would be enough to have him always on edge and anxiously performing his role as the perfect son to the best of his ability.

My earlier frustration was a pushback against the need to inflate Lucius’ less-great moments into overtly obvious abuse (we are very much in agreement there), as fanon seems to love to do without a hint of introspection or greater analysis. I’m so bored of complicated behaviour being filed away into a thought-terminating box called ‘abuse’, where a sole instance of someone being a grumpy, imperfect dad (the Borgin & Burke’s scene) is all that’s required to put a character on the same level as men who actually do beat their sons. It’s not given a greater thought.

For instance, you bring up Draco’s indoctrination into the Death Eaters, and his eagerness to join. This is a very interesting conundrum for Lucius to me because Voldemort is back for an entire year before Draco signs up. Lucius is in Azkaban at the time, unable to exert any influence over Draco’s decision, and Voldemort explicitly brings Draco into the fold as a form of punishment for Lucius. We have no access to Lucius’ head as readers, but he had an entire year afterward to sit and think about how he failed Draco. He’s a smart guy. I’m sure he could put it together that his bigotry came very close to costing his son his life. Considering the Malfoys sit alongside the winners of the war in the Great Hall, it speaks to me of some greater narrative reflection on Lucius’ part to have earned himself a place there.

The point is, I’ve never seen that Lucius in fic before. I crave that Lucius, who can realize his mistakes and grow or change as a result (and is brave enough not to let the lateness of its arrival dictate the terms). It’s very important to me that growth not be something exclusive to a certain age (16 and under? 18? I’ve seen people argue that Draco was no longer redeemable at 12 LMAO). So yeah, feeling alone in this sentiment occasionally bubbles up and I forget to articulate all the nuance of the subject when engaging with it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#meta #draco malfoy #lucius malfoy

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ask-ursa-tonypeter · 1 month

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Oh man, okay so that Peter snatching ask, I feel like I neeeed more of that. How would Tony even explain Pyrite!Peter’s new situation to him? Would he even tell Pyrite Peter about DB!Peter? Aksdkfniend I don’t know if you want to go more into detail about this because it’s technically not a fic of yours so feel free to ignore this ask if this isn’t the direction you want to go with these, I’m just infinitely curious about the scenario written in that ask and figured it didn’t hurt to shoot my shot here, so to speak.

[[in reference to this ask and then this ask-- not only did it not hurt to shoot your shot, I wrote a whole-ass fic about it, lmao. CWs for abduction/long-term captivity, gentle noncon and general very 💖loving and tender💖 emotional abuse, and all of the psychological trauma that goes with it-- but there's a hopeful ending! (Also, daddykink, which I can apparently only tolerate if one of the characters in question hates it, lmao.)]]

This older Tony told him that he was picked because he's special, but Peter isn't stupid. In the brief glimpse he was allowed to see of the other Peters out there on that monitor, he noticed that most of them were older. Stronger. Actually special.

And he sees the way that this Tony looks at him. Peter wouldn't have noticed it before, probably, but it was the same expression that his brother wore when they were… together. Dark, heated, focused. Peter had loved the attention from his brother, but it scares him from this man. He's constantly on edge, waiting for the moment that petting hands or a tender kiss might slip somewhere unbearable, like being prepared will somehow give him a way to stop it.

He knows it won't, of course. He knows he can't.

He can't stop anything.

This Tony wants Peter to call him 'Dad.' Peter tries to protest, tries to say that he already has a dad, that it's strange when his own Tony is his brother instead. But Tony insists– says that he'll be a better father to Peter than Howard Stark ever was, that Peter doesn't need a brother when he has a father like Tony instead, that his brother was never any good to him anyway.

It makes Peter regret every single time he's ever complained about his dad and every single time he ever felt ignored by his brother, and he tells Tony that, that he loves his family even if they're not perfect and he misses his mom and that he wants to go home.

But this Tony doesn't care about his tears, and Peter is afraid of him, so Tony gets his way.

That's always how it goes. Peter cries, he begs, he asks to go home. When he's at his most desperate and selfish and awful, he asks for Tony to take someone else instead. And Tony holds him and pets him and coos and hums and murmurs that everything will be okay, and he just needs time to adjust, and that he's perfect. That Tony could never let him go.

Peter knows that he means it, and Tony never seems to realize that it only makes him cry harder. But in the end Peter always ends up leaning heavily into his arms, sniffling and exhausted and cried-out, so maybe it's his fault for sending mixed messages.

He does try to make the best of it, after all. He knows it makes him a coward, and that he should fight and scream and try to make this Tony's life hell until he does give Peter up, like rehoming a bad dog. But he can't, because he's not brave, so instead he sets the table and makes suggestions for dinner and smiles at Tony's jokes and picks out movies to watch from under the arm of this man who is not his father and not his brother but who he still calls 'Dad.'

"Good choice, baby," Tony says with a smile when Peter picks out Die Hard for movie night, and Peter hates the warm, pathetic glow of satisfaction that swells in his chest at the praise. But it's better than being scared, so Peter will take it, even if it makes him feel just as cheap and slimy as the actual sex.

It doesn't take long for that to start, though it's longer than Peter expects. A few weeks, maybe, though Peter's sense of time isn't great anymore. Tony had already slipped into his bed even as early as that first night, with the excuse of comforting Peter while he cried– "oh, sweetheart, don't cry, you'll be okay," he'd crooned, pressing kisses to Peter's hair while he flinched, "you'll love it here, you'll see,"– but then he never stopped, even once Peter stopped crying himself to sleep.

So one morning it happens, inevitable. Tony's wrist brushes too low when he's untangling himself from Peter as they wake, and Peter can't bite back his gasp at the pressure against his morning wood, and before he knows it there's a hand around him and lips against his neck and a warm, morning-rough voice muttering, "Let me take care of that for you, sweetheart."

Peter tries to stop it. He does. He does.

But when he gasps, "Dad, wait, please stop," Tony only murmurs, "Shh, relax, honey," and in the end it's like everything else.

Tony is always gentle with him. It's a strange contrast to his brother, who called him filthy things and teased him until he was so red he thought he might pass out and could be rough with him when Peter asked for it. Peter liked that, yeah, but he had always wished that his brother would kiss him sweetly and tell him he loved him, too.

It's disorienting to have those daydreams come to life in the form of this other, twisted version of his brother. Peter tries to close his eyes as Tony moves inside him and take what comfort he can in the soft touches and endless praise, and sometimes it works, and sometimes it puts a pit in his stomach to think he ever wanted this from his brother at all.

Even outside of bed, it messes with Peter's head the way that Tony's so nice. It makes it too easy to sink into the lie sometimes, when he's allowed to wander the familiar penthouse suite of Stark Tower instead of being locked in some basement, when Tony remembers all of his favorite treats and movies, when Tony spoils him rotten and tells him he's perfect and never, ever loses his patience.

(Even when Peter does. Even when Peter has one of his embarrassing episodes where he loses his mind and beats his fists against Tony's chest and scratches and bites until he tastes blood, Tony just holds him and sighs "I know, baby, I know," until Peter is spent. He never even raises his voice.

But he does cry sometimes. It makes Peter feel guilty, and then mad at himself for feeling guilty, and then he gets so confused that he just lets Tony bundle him away for a nap like he really is a tantruming five-year-old. Every time he wakes up he's mortified, but Tony never scolds him like he deserves. He's just sweet and gentle and forgiving, and he lets Peter sink right back into the comfort of the lie.)

Peter wonders if Tony was kind to the other Peter. He resents him sometimes, even though he knows it's not fair. It's not the other Peter's fault that he died, or that his dad is… like this. It's not the other Peter's fault that Tony picked Peter out of all the options. But even still, sometimes he thinks 'if you were still here, then I wouldn't be,' and there's some satisfaction in having someone to blame who he doesn't have to share a bed with.

But mostly– mostly he wonders about the other Peter's life. Sometimes Tony will cling to him and apologize over and over again like he can't hear Peter at all, and Peter wonders if he was mean to the other Peter while he was alive, or if he was sleeping with his actual son, too, or if he blames himself somehow for the way that he died. JARVIS won't tell him what happened, and he's too afraid to ask Tony.

But it wasn't a secret, he knows. Even if he can't find any mention of the original Peter Stark's death online, other people have to know about it, because none of Tony's employees can stand to look at him.

He wonders what they know. Do they think he's some kind of Frankenstein's monster? Do they know he's been kidnapped? Do they think he's just an uncanny lookalike, or do they know about the machine in Tony's personal lab?

(Or do they just know exactly how close their boss is to his son, Peter thinks sometimes, and it makes him want to never come out of his room.)

Or maybe they're just afraid that if they look, Tony will see something on their faces that he doesn't like, because–

He may always be gentle with Peter, but Tony is not a kind man.

He still rarely raises his voice. When he's angry with someone, his voice goes flat and ice-cold and the room gets so quiet it feels like even breathing would be too loud.

He always sends Peter out of the room before he kills someone. It's the only time anyone will look at him, their eyes wild and pleading for Peter to stay like that would save them, but by then it's Peter who can't bear to look.

Peter hates himself for the way that he shakes for hours afterward instead of doing something. He hates himself for the way that he crawls into Tony's lap once they get home, the way he tips his face up for a kiss, all so he can hear Tony say–

"I'm sorry, baby." Rough stubble prickling at Peter's temple, his cheek, his chin. "You know I would never hurt you, don't you? Never."

"I know," Peter whispers, and by the time they're done and Tony has made him come at least twice and told him again and again that he loves him, that he's perfect, that he's the only thing that matters, it will almost feel true.

(Peter thinks about the other Peters on that monitor, and how so many of them were strong and brave and stood up to people just like Tony, and he wonders how the other Peter died.)

He does save someone though, he thinks. Just once. He can't know for sure, because it's not one of the men that regularly comes to meet Tony at the tower, but he thinks maybe he helped.

The man is making excuses. He's in charge of one of Tony's projects, and he says that Tony gave him permission to take time off to take care of his mother after a surgery, and that's why the project is behind schedule. Tony doesn't remember and doesn't care and he gets angrier with every word out of the man's mouth, and eventually he stands, those silver tendrils exploding out of his suit to grapple the man down over his desk while he wails and pleads.

Tony takes a breath, and Peter knows he's going to tell Peter to leave the room, and he abruptly can't stand it.

"Daddy, don't," he says, the babyish word coming out in his desperate horror without him meaning to say it, and he hugs Tony around the waist like that means anything, like he can stop anything, like he's a version of himself that's actually strong.

Tony freezes, and for the length of what feels like a hundred rabbiting heartbeats Peter is terrified. He's never stood up to Tony in front of his men. He's barely stood up to him at all, and it never leads to anything anyway, and he suddenly doesn't know why he stuck himself out for this stranger who Tony is probably just going to kill anyway but this man has a family and Peter misses his mom so much he can barely breathe and he can't keep doing nothing he can't he can't he can't–

Tony turns gently in his grip, because Peter can't stop him, and Peter keeps his face buried against Tony's shoulder. He can still hear the sound of the man whimpering quietly from where he's pinned to the desk by Tony's tendrils, and he flinches when the weight of Tony's hand settles on his hair, gentle.

"Oh, sweetheart," Tony breathes, his voice strange– revelatory, tender, almost delighted. "Did Daddy scare you?"

The room is quiet. Peter is painfully aware of every other person listening– the guards by the door, the man on the desk, gasping in shaky breaths now instead of whimpering.

He can feel the weight of something important shifting, shifting, shifting when he nods his head, and the finality of something new settling into place when Tony wraps his arms around him.

"Get out," Tony says over his shoulder, and there's a clatter of noise as the man scrambles to the door. Tony adds, "You too," to the guards, and when the door clicks closed they're alone.

Peter shudders in Tony's arms, his body not able to reconcile the combination of relief and deep, primal fear coursing through his veins, and Tony clicks his tongue, pressing a kiss to the top of Peter's head.

"You really don't like coming to work with me, do you," he sighs, rubbing Peter's back. "I'm sorry, baby. You told me that, and I didn't listen."

He reaches to cup both sides of Peter's face, so Peter finally has to look up at him. He looks perfectly sweet, warm and fond and apologetic, and the contrast from his anger moments earlier is dizzying.

Tony strokes his thumbs tenderly over Peter's cheeks, and sighs one more time before he says, "All right, sweetie. If you promise that you'll be good, I'll let you stay in your room while I'm gone, okay? If that's really what you want."

It's so unexpected that it takes Peter a moment to understand that this is a compromise. Tony has never offered one before, and Peter had learned to stop asking a long time ago.

He rushes to gasp, "Yes– yes, please," and then, spontaneous and uncertain and thinking, adds, "Thank you, Daddy."

Tony smiles, and the chill it sends through Peter is anticipation just as much as disgust. Tony takes him upstairs to the penthouse then, and takes the entire rest of the day off work to make up for scaring him. It's almost nice, really, and if Peter doesn't like it when Tony tells him 'Daddy's got you' and 'that's right, let Daddy take care of you' in bed, it's still worth it, because–

The next day Peter gets to have four whole hours to himself until lunchtime, and then another four whole hours after that, and he can't remember the last time he didn't spend the whole day with Tony.

Things change after that.

Before, any protests Peter made would get shushed and brushed aside, Tony always gentle but never permissive. He would say that he knew best, that Peter would be okay, that Peter's way wouldn't work, and he would go on like Peter hadn't said anything at all. Requests were usually easier, Tony happy to bury Peter in gifts, but as for experiences– Tony's sense of what was too risky for Peter was broad and paranoid and stifling, and now–

It's shocking having a way to get Tony to listen to him, and Peter tries not to let it go to his head. He's careful. He doesn't ask for too much. He sprinkles in petty requests to throw off the scent of when he really, really wants something so it can't be used against him.

He acts like he really is all those dirty things his brother used to call him, and he bats his eyelashes and pouts and fawns, and he says "Daddy, please?" and "Can I, Daddy?" and "Daddy, I don't want to," and he gets what he wants.

But he knows just that won't be enough for what he really wants. Not by itself. He can't just stick out his bottom lip and simper his way into where he wants to go, so he'll need to add something else.

And Peter will give Tony this: for all that his obsession with his "son" is twisted and wrong, he really does seem to care more about making Peter come than himself. He always takes Peter in his mouth like it's a treat, but the first time Peter slides to his knees in front of him, he looks so shocked that it honestly seems like he hasn't even thought about it before.

"Petey," he says, ghosting his fingers over Peter's hair while Peter draws him out of his pants. "You don't have to do that if you don't want to, sweetie."

Peter knows it's part of why Tony is so sweet to him, but it irritates him sometimes when Tony acts like he actually buys the whole innocent lamb act, like he doesn't fuck Peter at least twice a day himself. Tony knows about Peter's brother, he knows Peter's done this before; Peter's even pretty sure it's part of why Tony picked him.

Peter takes a breath and pushes it all down, down, down, and he reaches for the part of himself that means it when he says, "I want to, Daddy."

He leans in, and if it's more bitter than he remembers– well, the aftermath is what's sweet.

It's hard to keep the request behind his teeth while Tony fawns over him after, showering him in kisses and praise and making him come so many times that Peter finally has to protest, "Daddy, no more," sluggish and sensitive and overheated.

But he wants Tony to think it's his idea, so he waits until finally, finally–

Tony chuckles and nuzzles in to kiss Peter's cheek, and he murmurs, "Okay, okay, baby. I just want to make you feel good after you were so good to me. What else can I do for you, hmm?"

Peter bites his lip and looks away, and it's not all playing shy. He's nervous, and he's really not sure how Tony is going to react, and if Tony squashes his hopes here– he can't think about that.

"What is it, sweetheart?" Tony croons, pushing back Peter's sweaty curls and kissing his forehead. "You can tell me, Petey; I know you've got something in mind."

"Can I–" Peter hesitates, and he'd like to say he's playing it up, but the way his eyes go wide and desperate and shiny is all real. "Daddy, can I… can I please see the monitor again? Please? I want… I want to see Grandma."

He doesn't know if it's a step too far and too false to call her that. Maria Stark would be his grandmother if he was actually Tony's son, and he's trying to– give a show of good faith, that even if he's still thinking about his real family he's accepted the false reality that Tony's made for them. His heart hammers in his chest while he waits to find out, and–

Tony sucks in a breath, staring at Peter in shock for the second time that night, but this time his expression resolves into regret and apology.

"Honey," he says softly, and Peter wants to scream, "I don't know if that would be the best thing for you. I think it'll make you sad, sweetheart."

No, Peter wants to say, but contradicting Tony will just make him dig in his heels, so instead he says, "I-I know, I know it will, but that's okay. It'll make me happy, too. Like getting older, right?"

He throws it in, a last-minute ad-lib; Tony jokes all the time about how sad it makes him to see Peter get older even though he's glad that Peter's growing up so sweet. It's a hit– Tony smiles, rueful, and Peter presses his advantage. He links his arms behind Tony's neck, cuddling close, all entirely-real doe eyes and quivering lips when he asks, "Daddy, please let me. Please?"

Tony sighs, and he leans in to scatter kisses over Peter's face when he murmurs, "You're getting too sweet for me, baby. All right, if you're sure that's what you want."

Peter's heart soars, and when he pulls Tony into a kiss he doesn't even have to fake enjoying it.

They go the next day. Tony is still reluctant about it, but he doesn't try to back out, and so they make their way to his private lab after breakfast.

It hits Peter harder than he expected. He knew it would make him sad, but he was imagining his mother bright and vibrant and happy. He barely recognizes the haggard woman on the screen, grayer than he left her and exhausted with grief, and it makes him cry so hard he can barely breathe.

"I told you, sweetheart," Tony sighs, rubbing Peter's back and stroking his hair, but he doesn't try to rush him out of the room early. "This is too hard for you, baby."

"I'm okay," Peter forces out between tears, because he can't lose access to this. "I w-wanted this. I'm s-so happy to see her. Thank you, Daddy."

It's going to be hard to play at being cheerful the rest of the day, he knows, but he'll have to if he wants Tony to ever let him come back to this room. Because even despite his tears, he did get what he was actually after: he watched how Tony selected a universe from the massive, awe-inspiring constellation of choices, and he memorized the coordinates that Tony punched in to pull up his true home.

And if he's ever going to get an opportunity to use them, he needs to get back in that room.

He makes it work. He's extra-sweet all day long, enough to curb Tony's concerns about the effect of their field trip on his mood, and he keeps it up after that. He pulls Tony into kisses and buttons his shirts for him in the morning. He pushes Tony back to ride him after work, their hands clasped together between them. He gets on his knees, he wakes Tony in the morning with a warm hand or slick mouth, he waits for Tony at lunchtime wearing one of his dress shirts and nothing else.

He's afraid at first that Tony might be put off by his new boldness, or at least suspicious, but Tony swallows the bait whole. He seems delighted that Peter is finally settling into his new life, eager to believe that Peter really has just grown more comfortable and mature in their relationship over time, and he even starts to trust Peter more. It's not even something that Peter asks for, but a week or two into his change of attitude, Tony gives him permission to access the rest of the suite while Tony's at work.

And that's not Peter's goal, but it does have some potential.

He does get to go back to the private lab. Peter doesn't ask for it every time, or even every other time, but Tony doesn't even hesitate to say yes, now. Peter plays up his excitement of the idea of the multiverse and of Tony's genius for making the machine; he plays up his interest in the other Peters; he checks in on his family.

And he watches the way Tony uses the monitor. He examines the construction of the machine. He pays attention to what features Tony uses when he navigates the 'verse map, and more than that, he pays attention to what features Tony avoids ever using in front of him.

He figures out slowly that his first plan won't work. As far as he can glean, the machine isn't built to have a way to send people back, and he knows he's not smart enough to figure out how to build that feature. He's smart, but even though the year on the calendar isn't even a full two decades ahead of Peter's actual universe, the technology may as well be a century more advanced– if the machine can only pull people to this universe, he isn't going to fool himself that he can change that by himself.

But still, every time he's in that room, he watches, and he thinks. He watches how Tony grows less attentive to his every move, more complacent in the idea that Peter is happy with their life. He watches how every day Tony gets closer to giving him permission to go to the lab by himself– it's not like he can use the machine to leave, after all. He watches how JARVIS sometimes lets him get away with things for a beat longer than he should, if Peter can make it look enough like an accident.

And he still watches the other Peters on the monitor. The ones that are older. The ones that are geniuses. The ones that save their cities from men like Tony. The ones that save the world.

Peter's not strong. He's not brave. He's not special.

He can't stop anything.

But he thinks he knows who can.

#fic: double blind #fic: pyrite #pyrite: peter #double blind: tony #prompt: multiverse #multiverse: kidnapping au #fic response #ursa interlude:#this is quite possibly the most self-indulgent thing I've ever written #we are truly getting to CLAMP levels of masturbatory multiverse drama here but I love it #ANYWAY. UM. ENJOY?!

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rach-amber · 1 month

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With all the chaos going on with you, I’m sending you all my love and support ❤️ I apologize for not being around as much due to personal issues outside of social media, but I think I’m back for now!

Question: what do you think made Rachel intrigued with Chloe and observe her so much? And how long do you think she was watching Chloe before they started talking?

Aw thank you so much! Please don't apologise for that, everyone should have the freedom of choosing where they spend their time :) Sending back love & support as well, hopefully things turn out well at your end 💛

Also once again, hella great questions!!

The 1st question reminds me of this Rachel pov fic that I've been translating, it says:

"At first it was mere curiosity.

Most people put on their good side with purpose, but Chloe does just the opposite; She disguises herself with a bad side, opposing and mocking everything; She puts on a pissed-off expression, as if a smile would make her face rot, when actually she’s purer and kinder than anyone else, plus her personality is more interesting than I had imagined."

I think initially Rachel kinda believed Chloe to be what people speak of her. As principal Well's assistant, perhaps she also knew Chloe's on a scholarship, and that she's failing her subjects and on Well's list of high-risk students. She must've wondered,

"Why would someone on the prestigious Blackwell scholarship be so.. bad ? What happened to her?" (how come she's such a lone wolf now, people said she didn't use to be like this)

We also know Rachel secretly has a side that wants to pursue things that are off-limit/wild/dangerous, and Chloe being the one that stood out to her in this way, quickly became her subject of interest, so she kept and eye out for Chloe from a distance.

"Hey, I notice things! I can't help it." -- it's automatic at that point of her noticing Chloe

Later on, Rachel, by whatever means (like seeing the photo of Bongo the cat in Chloe's locker", started to realise that the notorious Chloe Price might not be who she really is at all. And so with a natural tendency to want to understand & read people, she's intrigued to find out more.

Ofc let's not forget, Chloe's hella good looking to Rachel. Lmao Rachel you stared at those legs a tad too long buddy.

While there's no telling how long exactly she's watched Chloe, there are some clues.

"Really? I see you acting like you're tough all the time in school." -- to Chloe, who claimed to not be an actor.

"That doesn't sound like Chloe Price" (park) - at that point in time (frustrated & on impulse) she's still wanting to think of Chloe as this bad girl to do rebellious/prohibited things with, even though she knows that's just on the surface (but she didn't care at that point)

Rachel's still a "newcomer" to Blackwell, despite being on the school photo. Perhaps she moved to Arcadia like a year ago or less, and had spent a school term along with Chloe already, given her established popularity & recognition from the school itself.

So I don't know, maybe she's been watching Chloe within the time range of two/three weeks to a month and a half?

And as we know, later she saw Chloe also at the Firewalk show, & realised they have similar interests & music taste!

Ah, a picture with crush! Look at how happy Rachel looks in that selfie 😸 & it's not here but notice how when Chloe first bumped into Rachel the latter was like, lemme take a good look at you Chloe Price, then stared at her face for 2 seconds.

Rachel: time to make a move to find how who she really is.

I find it cute that it's also kinda the same for Chloe, who realised that Rachel's more than the surface-level "pop girl with good grades".

So yeah, I sort of rushed through this post a lil bit in the midst of finals/crunch time, but I hope it still answers your question! Til next time, xo.

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rollercoasterwords · 2 months

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ugh!!! different anon but i just read your thoughts about everything r is thinking and feeling and i canttttt, and it also hurts bc from s perspective, the feelings and developments he thought they had for so long were a ruse!! so on both sides we have them fighting their feelings and denying the reality of their connection :(((

one follow up question i have is, how does r (and really the whole gang) reconcile this initial distrust and subsequent shock (that s is Becoming Good) with the existence of reg? bc like on the one hand yes s represents so much evil shit to them, has done so much evil shit, but his redeemed brother is right there as well. so i’m curious about how these characters marry those feelings

yeah <3 i mean 2 clarify it's not so much that r thought s was like. actively tricking him like he believes what s was feeling was real too it's just that s knew before they kissed etc. that he was going 2 be obliviating himself so the idea that those feelings could become something was, at that point, a lie, and that's where r feels betrayed.

and that's an interesting question!! re: reg (and re: s) all 3 of them have v different perspectives. like for james reg chose on his own 2 betray voldemort, and even tho reg kinda dismisses the idea that he was rebelling 4 some noble reason etc james still like...kinda gives him that credit & sees him as someone who organically came 2 this position that was at least somewhat aligned w the values & goals of the order, whereas s did not do that; hence, james cuts him way less slack. s was also a lot more active in the d.e. & actively harming order members + allies in ways that reg was not, which also makes james like him less to begin with. but james has also grown up pretty separated from broader society, so even tho the d.e. have always been his enemies, he hasn't been like...quite as subjected 2 their reign in his daily life the same way r has, and bc james has been raised as like a soldier in a war he views voldemort as his ultimate enemy & the d.e. as like enemy soldiers, so there's overall less of like...this personal hatred 4 them as individuals. which makes it easier 4 him 2 accept that people like reg & s can grow & change if they demonstrate they're willing 2 side w the order + work towards order goals.

for lily a lot of this is similar 2 james--she views reg as having made his own decision 2 leave the d.e. + s as being forced, so trusts him less 2 begin with, etc. but lily, unlike james, has spent even less time actually like...directly interacting w d.e. like she's spent most of her time in order bases + hq working behind the scenes on potions etc, so she's even further removed from the personal aspect of all this & has an easier time accepting that both s + reg can become good people (tho at first she dislikes reg bc james is tutoring him + flirting w him lmao). lily also sees a lot more gray area than james, who tends 2 view the world in black & white terms (if you're fighting for the d.e. ur bad, if you're fighting for the order ur good, etc). for lily, everyone has the capacity 4 both good & evil, and a person's life is largely shaped by conditions outside their control, so her worldview + relative distance from the whole conflict makes it easier for her 2 accept that reg + s can change.

but remus has grown up as a werewolf under voldemort's government for most of his life, not in order bases, and so he has a very acute sense of the ways in which individuals make up + perpetuate these systems of violence, and is not particularly forgiving towards them even if he recognizes that yes, people can change and yes, that's probably a good thing--it doesn't undo the hurt they've done and it doesn't mean he's going to forgive them. this is why r + reg aren't friends, even tho lily + james are friends w both of them; r didn't really like reg from the start & basically just avoided him as much as he could, which wasn't hard bc he was out doing work 4 the order + reg was working in potions labs w lily. so even tho r could recognize that like, ok i guess it's good we got a reformed d.e. working 4 us, he never had 2 go through like a personal struggle of actually feeling friendly towards the guy & basically just kept disliking him lol. so not only does he already hold these grudges (understandably!), he also doesn't think of evil in the same way as the others--whereas james views voldemort, the figurehead of this entire system, as the Ultimate Evil, and lily can understand how people born into these violent systems would perpetuate them but thinks that's usually more from being misguided than ill intent, remus views this as a structural issue in which people like s, who (from r's pov when they first meet) think of themselves as generally 'good' people, still justify their role in these systems of violence because it benefits them, which is much more insidious and infuriating than someone like voldemort, who is just pretty straightforwardly a Bad Guy. and that's what i mean when i say r views s of representative of like, everything wrong w society--bc the vast majority of people in society are like s, who view themselves as good people and blame all (or at least most of) the bad on figureheads like voldemort without recognizing their own role in structural violence. and his whole relationship w s & feelings for him just make it way more difficult 4 him to watch s change + grow & to accept that that's possible, even though, theoretically, he should want it 2 be possible, bc there's this more personal level of pain...someone who views themself as a good person hurts u & u want 2 go "hey!! ur not a good fucking person!!" but then they actually become a good person (or at least a better one) so then what do u do w that hurt, y'know?

anyway. this got v long but yeah have actually spent quite a bit of time thinking about these 3 characters & how their different worldviews + experiences shape their attitudes towards the black brothers!

#ask #wfrau

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walnutofthedead · 11 months

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Can you do Yandere Mikoto x Gn! Reader headcanons?

Hahaha hah djbdhddhhdhd

The ask I’ve been waiting for frfr….

I’m so normal about yanderes (they’re fun to write leave me alone)

So uhm I MAY go a wee bit overboard here??? And May or may not have ended up doing the yan alphabet?? This is for Mikoto and not his alter, if you want an orekoto one just lmk <3

Prob will do a shortfic later

Yandere shit under the cut

Affection: How do they show their love and affection? How intense would it get?

I see Mikoto as a physical affection type of guy tbh- Like, he’s still really sweet! Always nice with his words, but he’ll like randomly hug you from behind, hold your hand, a lot of things that most regular couples do.

Blood: How messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Well… in terms of like, actual messes, he tries to be clean! Mikoto doesn’t particularly even want to hurt anybody. He’s not ALL bad…

With that said, sometimes, he has to. If someone is trying to steal you away and doesn’t heed his warnings, or if they hurt you, he has no choice but to put an end to that!

If someone hurts you, he’ll be more brutal.. not above torturing them if they’ve gone that far.

If it’s because he’s jealous, he’s a bit more nice. He doesn’t make it too painful. Maybe a blow to the head, a fast-acting poison…

After all, he can’t blame them for falling for you just like he did! It’s impossible not to~

They just don’t get to take you away from him. Never.

Cruelty: How would they treat their darling once abducted? Would they mock them?

Nono! He’s a sweetie:c Mikoto honestly would just treat you with genuine respect and love,, be like, he loves you! He knows he’s already done something awful by abducting you and is sympathetic. Prob tries to make it as comfortable as possible.

Darling: Aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Well… he’s definitely do a lot of hugging and stuff like that… but the furthest he’d go without (implied or direct) consent is just a peck on the lips<3

Exposed: How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

So here’s the thing- he’s delusional as fuck. He’ll just treat your relationship like he’d treat any regular one. He’s never invulnerable around you, but there’s definitely times he’s more vulnerable. Don’t hurt him please the silly:(

Fight: How would they feel if their darling fought back?

So confused and betrayed. You love him, so why are you fighting him? He only wants what’s best for you!

Game: Is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

He takes this shit so seriously- istfg bro hates it when you try and escape :((( kind of a pushover tbh- like he’ll probably just try and make it even more comfortable for you whenever you try to leave.

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Being abducted is the worst it’ll get. Even while captive, he treats you with such care it’s baffling- he loves you!!!! Cmon pooks love him back ong

Ideals: What kind of future do they have in mind for/with their darling?

I feel like he daydreams about marrying them… like he has it all planned to a T. Probably already designed an outfit for s/o to wear at their wedding. We love a ✨ prepared ✨ mans

Jealousy: Do they get jealous? Do they lash out or find a way to cope?

He gets jealous and inhales lethal amounts of Copium. The poor silly

Kisses: How do they act around or with their darling?

Nah bro just acts like his normal self but like,, slightly more happy???

Love letters: How would they go about courting or approaching their darling?

Just approaching regularly, he has no issue going up and talking to them! When confessions are involved though, he has a much harder time… probably would opt for a love letter. A long, well-written one with little doodles on it !!

Mask: Are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Lmao nope

Naughty: How would they punish their darling?

He kinda just.. wouldn’t..? If he got really pissed somehow, he might like, lock them in their room or something… but he avoids using violence when possible.

Oppression: How many rights would they take away from their darling?

Not many! When he abducts them, he’s strict at first, but eventually even lets them go out so long as he’s there with them.

Patience: How patient are they with their darling?

He’s incredibly patient. He doesn’t get angry very easily, and when he does, he calms down fairly quick. This is assuming he doesn’t switch to Orekoto, of course…

Quit: If their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

Haha no

Regret: Would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling? Would they ever let their darling go?

Oh, absolutely. He’d feel like actual shit about it. Even with all the gaslighting himself to try and justify it, he knows taking someone captive like this is awful. And especially for such selfish reasons… that’s why he tries making it up to them by spoiling them!

He won’t let them go though. There’s no going back once you kidnap someone.

Stigma: What brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Hm……. I’d say probably just emotional dependency and bad attachment issues. He just happened to get a bit too attached to s/o.

-bonus hc: he gives his friends nicknames to make it feel like they have a deeper friendship than they do so they don’t drift away from him !

Tears: How do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Oh, he hates it- just seeing them sad or afraid breaks his heart. He doesn’t know what to do, so he just tries his best to comfort them with words.

Unique: Would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Give his darling some MOTHERFUCKING FREEDOM-

Vice: What weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

His willingness to trust. As I mentioned earlier, he gives a lot of freedom, and that only increases as his trust in them builds. Once he’s convinced they do, in fact, love him, and won’t try and leave, he’ll begin letting them go out alone for short periods of time so long as they let him track their location. You can already see how that could turn out in an unsatisfactory way for him…

Wit’s end: Would they ever hurt their darling?

Nope. Or at least, it would take a lot for him to lash out and do so. And even then, it wouldn’t be that bad.

Xoanon: How much would they revere or worship their darling? To what length would they go to win their darling over?

He doesn’t really worship them per se… but he will totally go to extreme lengths to win them over. No amount of time or money or effort is too much if it means a chance at winning his darling over <3

Yearn: How long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Depending on outside factors like other people pursuing them, it could be anywhere between a few months and a couple years.

Zenith: Would they ever break their darling?

Haha no.

#Mikoto kayano #kayano mikoto #mikoto kayano x reader #milgram mikoto #yandere mikoto #Yandere mikoto milgram #Yandere mikoto kayano #Yandere Mikoto kayano x reader #Milgram x reader #yandere milgram #Yandere milgram x reader #Milgram

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bvckandeddie · 21 days

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

tagged by @devirnis ❤️

How many works do you have on ao3?

if we include both of my ao3 psuedonyms (which we are, otherwise this would be a very boring ask meme) i have 14 works!

What's your total ao3 word count?

561,661 😳

What fandoms do you write for?

i’ve most recently written for 9-1-1, but i’ve also written for Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Top five fics by kudos:

reality strikes, so bring back the night (ATLA)

That Midnight Sky (ATLA)

swords of fate, pride of heart (ATLA)

i could (never) give you peace (ATLA)

what a heart can do (9-1-1)

Do you respond to comments?

i try my best, yes!

What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

no angsty endings, god bless 🫶

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

oh gosh, i don’t know. they’re all happy! i suppose That Midnight Sky because i really put sokka and zuko through it in that one, lmao.

Do you get hate on fics?

uh, yeah, lmao. just once! one of the very first comments on hurt locker was someone who was very unhappy with the decisions eddie made throughout that fic. i think maybe they just didn't understand the concept of POV storytelling ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Do you write smut?

i let much more talented writers than me fill that gap in the literature!

Craziest crossover:

not really a crossover in terms of ao3 categorization, but maybe the Mr. & Mrs. Smith AU i wrote for buddie?

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i don’t think so, but i do know that i could (never) give you peace is on goodreads somewhere. wish it wasn’t!

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yes! someone recently translated i could (never) give you peace into russian! super, super cool.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

YES, i co-wrote the amazing fruity beverages with megan aka @engagedzukka aka @crosspin. brainstorming that entire universe and collaborating with such an incredible writer was so fun, and it was a huge highlight of 2021. (hi megan ily 🥰❤️ can you believe we wrote that over three years ago???)

All time favourite ship?

my evergreen relationships that i could go find a fic for at literally any time are stony, arthur/eames, and spirk. buddie though…there’s something really special with them 🥹❤️

What's a wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

i started a really angsty fic last summer when i was in a bad mood (lol) where eddie and buck kind of knew about the potential of what they could be together. after the lightning strike, eddie was ready to take that next step, but then buck got together with natalia. i kind of just wanted eddie and buck to yell at each other a little bit, y'know? exploring their relationship breakdown was really cathartic for me at the time. with the direction the show is taking now, i don’t know if it’s something that i’ll finish. it seems like the fandom has swiftly moved on from that era of the show, and fair enough. we’re all on the bucktommy train now, right? choo choo! 🚂

What are your writing strengths?

i love writing dialogue!!!! i love writing dialogue so much!!!! it's so snappy and boom boom boom, y'know? all of a sudden i have 1k written and life is amazing.

What are your writing weaknesses?

i really hate inner monologue. i’ll write it, because it’s integral to the story, but I’m never like, oh my god, i’m so thrilled to be writing this inner monologue stuff right now, lol. let’s get back to the meat and potatoes of the story, people! dialogue!

Thoughts on dialogue in another language?

i do not know another language, so i tend to steer clear of it, because i know how google translate fails us all.

First fandom you wrote in?

ha. ha ha. the mortal instruments by cassandra clare. i still get occasional favourites on my clace and malec stories from fanfiction dot net. i didn't even FINISH the clace one! anyways.

Favourite fic you've written?

this is hard! i can't pick just one! TMS holds a really special place in my heart because it was the first idea for a story where i was like, wait, i think i could actually write this and finish it. and then i did! and the zukka fandom was so fucking sweet and kind about it.

i’m also really proud of what a heart can do because i was nervous about writing an original child character and i worried i wouldn’t be able to do the story justice. but the reception has been incredible! i genuinely cannot believe i wrote that fic in between doing research and writing my thesis. how did i do that?!?

one fic that i really, really love is swords of fate, pride of heart. i wrote that fic in like, a week. it was insane. the fic is so ridiculous, and it was so fucking fun to write. whenever i get a comment on it, i usually go back and reread a portion of it and i'm always a little in awe of my past self. like, yeah, i wrote that.

this was so fun to do!! tagging @captain-hen @wildlife4life @shitouttabuck @colonoscopys @eddiebabygirldiaz @traumabuddies @try-set-me-on-fire @hattalove and @kananjarus if you feel like it! my activity feed is super messed up rn thanks to that ‘first base is/second base is’ post lmao so i’m really sorry if i missed anyone or if you’ve been tagged already 😭❤️

#thank you ali for tagging me ❤️#coming out as a zukka enjoyer but i think anyone who pays attention probably has already realized that LOL #tag games

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butch-reidentified · 8 months

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hi. i saw some of your posts where you mention being a psychopath (or having psychopathic tendencies, i’m not sure what the correct terminology is) and i’m curious. i know someone being a psychopath doesn’t inherently make them evil or bad, but i’ve never known anyone, irl or online who was one. i have some questions.

1. what is the difference between a psychopath and a sociopath?

2. what makes someone a psychopath? are they born like that?

3. is being a pyschopath something you are diagnosed with? how do you know you are one?

4. you’ve mentioned on here that you have a wife. do you feel love? what does love mean to you?

i’m sorry if any of this is too personal. i don’t mean this to be rude, i’m just curious. i have done some research on this before but i’d like to hear what an actual psychopath has to say about it.

hi anon! don't be sorry - the whole point of me posting about it (which I honestly did not think would go this well lmao) is to educate and counter the absolutely rampant misinformation out there. this site is a pretty good resource working with actual researchers and clinicians. where I disagree with them is the classification of psychopathy as a mental disorder.

as I said in that post, I think it's a natural variation within the population that serves its own purpose.

the term itself is somewhat controversial for multiple reasons. one is the obvious: it's highly stigmatized and media representation is utterly absurd cartoon villain type shit. this does not bother me, but I have heard other people say it bothers them. regardless, I think it's a really interesting topic, which is why I want to talk about it and engage with others. the second reason the term is a bit complicated is this: outside of the actual field, barely anyone knows what it means or how it compares to "sociopath" or to the ASPD diagnosis. Psychopathy and ASPD are commonly believed to be the same; this is a misconception based on outdated information - the website I linked discusses this a bit.

1. sociopath isn't a clinical term. it means whatever the person using it wants it to mean. psychopathy on the other hand is a clinical term (but not a diagnosis!) which refers to a specific set of personality traits. Psychopathy is very much a spectrum. sort of in the way autism is, in that some people are very high in 1 psychopathic trait and low in others, another person might be high in a different 1 or 2 traits, etc. I am much higher on boldness than disinhibition, for instance, where my wife is the opposite.

2. this is a veeery debated topic. some people use the categorization of primary (born with it) vs secondary (comes from extreme abuse/trauma/etc) psychopathy. I'm not sure how much I believe in the second one, but I haven't written it off necessarily. I have had distinctively psychopathic traits my entire life. these traits have shifted and changed as I've grown, but only to such a degree, just as anyone's core personality traits do throughout growing up and all of life. The site I linked above has a page on this that is a much better take than that primary/secondary shit.

3. as I said above, no, it's not a diagnosis. and in my view, it's just a way to quickly describe people at one end of the spectrum of human emotionality/empathy/interpersonal relating. in cases like mine, it's pretty obvious to anyone I'm totally open and honest with. I'll give a couple examples.

I don't feel fear - like, at all, not even in life or death situations. I do not remember a time I have felt genuine fear as an emotion. I have felt adrenaline (though my threshold for that is reeeeally high) but the only emotion I ever end up with from that is irritability once it starts wearing off, though I haven't figured out why lmao. I don't know if this is just me or a more typical part of psychopathy, but it's fairly common for me to have the chemical/physiological side of an emotion without the emotional feeling itself - like what I just described with the adrenaline. I do experience anxiety (actually a pretty common comorbidity) sometimes, but it tends to be a very cerebral form of it, and is almost never *about* anything, just there.

I don't usually feel anything when friends or family members die. if they're very important to me, I get a little sad, but it's not very strong or long-lasting. I don't feel anything when other people are in mental or physical pain, even if I have caused it. this doesn't mean I can't care about people, just that it's a conscious decision and doesn't come with emotional attachment. my cognitive empathy is positively excellent.

I was a total nightmare as a kid. I was always always getting in trouble, and roping other kids into my unhinged (and usually dangerous) schemes. I was not always kind to other kids. I tended to manipulate peers who looked up to me for my entertainment when I was really young, but I did correct this behavior because it's not remotely worth it, and because I do make an effort to live as normally as possible and put significant effort into maintaining and adhering to a strict code of ethics (this is very difficult tbqh, but I have a high capacity for self-discipline). I was always getting in fights. I practically lived in the principal's office. I could NOT be told what to do. Punishment had zero impact. My mom wound up on antidepressants (this may have very little or even nothing to do with me, but idk & figured it was worth mentioning in case it was). I'm lucky I didn't get arrested. I realized I was headed that direction mid high school and sorted my shit out.

4. My wife and I love each other in our own way. She feels things a bit more than I do, and she DEFINITELY feels love as an emotion more than I do. But we talk openly about that, and she genuinely accepts me as I am and knows that I love her to the best of my ability, in my own way, and I go to extra efforts to make her feel loved because I'm aware that I can't reciprocate quite what she feels. That said, she is also rather high in psychopathic traits like I mentioned previously, which explains why we bonded initially over the things that we did (things I'd better not specify lol). It also means she really isn't bothered by me not being terribly affectionate, romantic, patient, or just generally any of the things most people want in a partner lmao. I do really try for her though. I definitely consistently form closer connections with other high-psychopathy individuals than anyone else. She rarely uses tumblr but is @psychichologramnightmare if you have any questions for her 😁

as for what love means to me, I think it's pretty individual. there are many components to love as we conceptualize it. love as a concept & love as a literal emotional feeling are sort of different in my mind, I guess.

#mine #ask #anon ask #anon #psychopathy #emotionality

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melancholysway · 1 year

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Hello! Uhm, I so wanted to request a 2012 Leo x GN!reader long shot, where the reader has dissociation and anxiety often causing them to go to Leo for grounding and comfort.

Dissociation symptoms:

- Sometimes feeling disconnected from yourself and the world around you.

- Feeling detached from your body or feel as though the world around you is unreal/artificial.

- Disconnection and lack of continuity between thoughts, memories, surroundings, actions, and identity.

I wanted to request this because I often feel alone and overwhelmed when I go through my own dissociative episodes, sometimes even wishing someone could be there for me, to hug me, rub my back, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

If you could do this, I would be extremely grateful. If you can’t, that’s okay, either way, I hope you’re having a nice day/night/afternoon/whatever lmao.

Thank you!

TMNT 2012!Leonardo x GN!Reader: Dissociation

Hi! I’ve actually experienced dissociation while I was high. I had to stop taking edibles because of a bad high, where it turned into an anxiety attack and felt completely not myself and had an out-of-body experience. I can only smoke it now. So I completely understand this! I had to deal with it on my own since I took them while I was home alone and couldn’t tell my parents about it. It was seriously scary, so writing this would be helpful for me as well :), thank you for your request! I hope you enjoy, seriously!

It’s a scary feeling. Feeling like everything around you is some sort of stimulation. That we’re just players in this game called life, being controlled by someone like a video game character.

The idea that everything can go wrong is terrifying, when you’re alone, it’s even worse.

You’ve had those feelings of dissociation before, the episodes were pretty bad. They weren’t as bad as now, especially because you were dating a mutant turtle.

Now, it may seem odd, but, dating someone that everyone thinks can’t exist only makes those episodes worse. Leonardo and his whole family didn’t seem real to people. Because they don’t know of their existence.

When you first met them, you had to keep telling yourself they were very much real. It’s probably weird to say, but, you had to physically touch each turtle. Even Raph. Yes, Raph.

He was uncomfortable at first, but as long as you don’t do that again, you’ll be on good terms. And you were, or, are. You’re on good terms with Leo’s brothers.

The hole in your stomach when it came to anxiety, and that looming cloud over your head whilst experiencing it seemed to die whenever you were around the turtles. They were your safety, and as long as they were around, nothing could happen to you. No outside force would even touch you, Y/n L/n. Especially if Leonardo was still breathing and walking this Earth, nobody would take you like some have tried to take April. Leo was devoted to you, and he made sure you were safe.

A lot of the time, dissociation happens when you’re alone. It barely happens around the turtles. They keep your mind off of any negative thoughts. Splinter as well; he understands the dangers of anxiety and lifts your spirits every time you’re around. Leonardo, the boyfriend, puts forth a lot of effort to do so. Meditation is his main suggestion to be of help. It allows for a clear mind to where you’re fully aware of yourself and everything around you. A lot of the time, it helps, but it’s almost impossible to do it alone. Believe me, you’ve tried. Meditation seems to only work fully when Leo does it with you.

He doesn’t mind at all.

Because for you, he’d do anything to help you through an anxiety-induced event.

“I’m…not really sure.” You sit on your bed, shifting uncomfortably as Leonardo makes his way through your window. The turtle stands in front of you, placing his hands on top of yours.

“Do you feel that?” He asks, hopeful to get you through this wave successfully. You seemingly stare into nothingness, the room around you becoming panoramic in nature through your lens.

When you don’t feel his hands, you begin to breathe sporadically. Is Leo even with you right now? Is he even real? You feel something atop your hands, but it doesn’t feel authentic. It’s almost as if your room is a holograph, with Leonardo being an A.I of some sort. It’s not real. But, if he’s not real, were you even real? Was this room you were in even yours?

Leonardo knew it would be bad when you texted him a rather odd message. When you were typing it appeared to be jumbled up nonsense, but it made sense to you. So, without a second thought, he ditched the Space Heroes re-run and came over to you. You see, Leonardo was the perfect turtle to receive help and comfort from. He’s caring, he’s patient, and with you, wow, he puts an effort to be the person you can run to for soothing.

Because, that’s just how Leo is wired. His entire aura seems to burst with yellow. A bright color, one that indicates a pleasant sense of self. One with confidence, and one that can inspire others to be the same. As soon as Leonardo steps into a room with his brothers in it, they can’t help but feel at ease. Since, well, the blue-eyed leader tends to solve everyone’s problems. So, when he bursts through your window like the ball of sun he is, glowing with concern, he knows that he has to really find a way to help.

Leonardo often wonders if he is enough for you, because he’s in a constant battle with himself to be the best he can be. He wonders how you see him, or what you think of him. It’s not like you don’t tell him all the time how great he is to you, it’s just, well, he can’t believe it sometimes. That he actually found someone who loves him in a way that his brothers assumed they would never experience. Sure, Raph had Mona Lisa, and Mikey had Renet, and Donnie…well, Donnie is going through his own thing, but you get the idea. Leonardo wondered if he would find that love. He can admit that before he knew Karai was Miwa, that he had some sort of crush on her, but…you know- she’s family. He doesn’t think of her like that at all now; that’s his sister. And, he loves Karai like family. The right way.

So when you told Leo that you loved him for the very first time- a sudden outburst- he was over the moon. That’s what he had been wanting this whole time. For someone to reciprocate the love he gave them. You just so happened to be that person he loved as well.

So, as he looks at you, shaking from the sudden lack of thoughts you’re having and disconnection from everything around you, he absolutely has to hug you. To let you know that this thing called life is real. To let you know that he’s very much real, your life is real, everything you’re second-guessing being real is…well…real. That the Earth spinning on an axis is so fucking real, and that he could get Donnie to tell you about it for hours and hours just so you know you’re not crazy.

Because, you’re not crazy.

Leonardo knows that, and he makes sure that you know it, too.

So as he slowly pulls his hands away, and lifting you up from the bed, letting you use him as leverage, he plants your bare feet on the carpet, so you can feel it. You’re standing on carpet, there’s nothing artificial about that. The feeling of the tiny microfibers tickling your feet, and the dust that gets stuck in between the nylon fiber. Those are all real. That the feet you’re using to stand on are yours. Everyone has them, but these are exclusive to you.

“Here, take a step forward after me,” He holds your hands, looking at you as he takes one step back, patiently waiting for you to do the same. You squeeze your eyes shut, using your other senses to help you. The eyes may play tricks on you. As you take that first step, you can feel your leg move- on your command, not anyone else’s. You feel your feet plant on the carpet, and nobody had moved you but yourself. Because, you got this. You’re in control.

“Now, you step where you want to go.” After Leo had gotten you comfortable enough to open your eyes, he smiles gently, “Just focus on me, okay? I’ll be right here to follow.” You search around, wondering where you should go, realizing that it’s sort of hard to see in your now dimly lit room. To avoid any type of overstimulation, Leonardo took it upon himself to lower the brightness in your room.

You step to your left, watching as Leo does the same, following suite like he promised. His hands are still in yours, not thinking to let go.

“Keep going,” Another step, and another.

That out-of-body experience seems to calm, as you can feel yourself becoming one with your mind and body. That your brain and soul are very present, inside of your body.

Leo begins his affirmations, something he’s learned that always works, no matter what problem may arise. He’s one with himself, and can pass that positivity to you.

“I’m not a figment of your episode. I’m real, very, very much real,”

You repeat his words, seeing the image of Leo in front of you to appear authentic after every positive affirmation.

He exists.

His brothers exist.

May be out of science fiction, but it’s very real. It’s so real, that you can remember what the sewer smells like in the summer when Leonardo mentions it. You couldn’t forget that smell, especially with the humidity.

He’s helping you through this, he tells you. Because he loves you, and that after this is all said and done, you’ll be okay.

It’s the truth, you’re going to be okay.

So as time goes on with Leonardo following your every move, watching you patiently and hopeful that you’ll recover, you come down from that out-of-body feeling. You’re 100% you, 100% in control, and this world around you was 100% real.

If this wasn’t enough, he sits with you on your bed, only to lay down and face one another. He mouths a slow ‘I love you,’ before bringing you close to him, entertwining his arms with yous as your face is buried in his plastron. His scent, always smelling like white tea with a hint of sage, goes into your nostrils and sends a message to your brain that, this is in fact your boyfriend of so many months. That he’s hugging you, making sure you’re okay- rubbing your back with his free hand and quietly speaking more positive affirmations into the atmosphere. That you’re going to be okay, and that he’s always going to be here for you.

Because he is. He cares about you too much to see you like this. He does everything in his power to help, and it works.

Oh God, it works.

As you utilize your 5 senses again, you can feel everything around you. You’re not just looking through a glass or a floating body. You’re grounded, and you’re safe.

You can feel Leo’s strong arms around you and the circles being rubbed into your back, how gentle his hands were on your body; how they always were. He was always so gentle with you. Treating you as softly as he knew how, because you did the same.

You can see his plastron, although hard to see, you can faintly make out the marks that he’s gotten from each and every battle he’s been in. You place your hand on his plastron, using your fingers to feel every ridge or scratch on it.

You can hear his heartbeat, as you place your ear on his chest, feeling his body heave everytime he took a breath. He did this slowly, as he had told you to breathe in and out slowly with him while you lay together, intertwined with one another.

You fall in love with his scent all the time, he starts to smell like the tea he always drinks, and the sage his Sensei always burns in the dojo. You absolutely cannot complain, Leonardo, in your opinion, has the best scent. Albeit that statement is heavily biased.

And finally, as Leonardo places a kiss on your forehead, you lift your head from being buried in his clutches and look up at him. He places a soft, gentle kiss on your lips, and you can taste him. He always tasted like spearmint, since, well, he was always chewing gum. You never knew why, but he mentioned once that it had something to do with stress. Since he can’t exactly smoke, he takes his stress out on a piece of Orbit Spearmint gum.

As you come back full circle to reality, you can’t help but hug your boyfriend. Leonardo is truly a gem, and an amazing boyfriend. He’s always there to help you out during times like these, but this one felt different. He tried new methods, like making you walk barefoot on the carpet, something he hasn’t done before. It seemed as though he knew exactly what he was doing, knowing it’ll be of help somewhat.

Leo had done extensive research.

To be able to help you fully. That he had a bunch of methods up his sleeve to pick out to better help you based on the situation.

And for that, you can’t help but thank him. With a soft smile, and another kiss, but this one, is long and more passionate.

Leonardo always gets that pink blush on his cheeks after kisses like that, and he smiles brightly when he comes to the realization that he’s successfully got you back. He has you back, his Y/n back.

As he pulls you in for another hug, he whispers quietly, but loud enough for you to hear,

“I love you, Hana.”

And he does, he truly does.

Taglist:

@bee-1n-space

Masterlist

#tmnt #tmnt leonardo #leonardo #2012 leonardo #2012 leo #tmnt 2012 #teenage mutant ninja turtle imagine #tmnt headcanons #teenage mutant ninja turtles #tmnt imagines #leo x reader #leonardo x reader #tmnt fanfiction #raphael #donatello #tmnt x reader

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