#not german
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A failed attempt to rob a tobacconist's shop in Austria
A masked man enters a tobacco shop in the city of Graz, handling a gun. It is 17:59:27.
Robber: I want to have the money.
Employee: What do you want?
Robber: All the money.
Employee: Yes exactly.
Employee: BOSS!
Boss: Yeah?
Employee (in calm voice): This is a hold-up.
The boss, the employee, and the robber discuss, while the clock turns past 18:00:00.
Employee: But I don't get into the cash register.
Robber: But it has to work somehow.
Boss: But it is already closed, at six it's finished, it's over.
Robber: But it has to work somehow.
Employee: No.
Boss: No, unfortunately, it's impossible.
Robber: But you have to get the money.
Boss: No, at six it's finished, the cash register is locked, you've got to come a bit earlier. That's how it is, unfortunately.
Visibly frustrated, the robber slams his gun into his pocket and leaves, but returns quickly to ask whether they don't fool him and leaves for good.
As an immediately started search was not successful, the police of Steiermark has released this video.
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Not me lying awake in bed at midnight unable to sleep because I can’t lie down on my back perfectly straight with my arms at my side or folded over my chest at the recommendation of Captain Holt which leads me down a spiral of replaying funny scenes from Brooklyn Nine-Nine in my head and causes me to lose even more sleep but it’s totally worth it because Brooklyn Nine-Nine is one of the greatest shows ever and I fucking love it. NINE-NINE!
#brooklyn nine nine#b99#captain holt#lying awake in bed#run on sentence#overthinking#comedy#nine nine#not German#Stan Terry Cruise
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maybe the mis shapen steed was the friends we made along way
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old German lady gave me acupuncture today
she lifted up my shirt, saw my top surgery scars, and immediately went "WHOA! What caused THIS?"
my fellow comrades, it took every atom of my strength not to just say the funniest lie I could think of on the spot.
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so this European clothing retailer decided to advertise their jean cuts on youtube and it's unintentionally the funniest shit I've seen today. why? well.
now important context here: in German, die (pronounced 'dee') is just a feminine article, it literally means "the".
but if an ad gets placed in the middle of an English video and doesn't use a single explicitly German word for most of the ad, even a native speaker is gonna think "they want me to die how?" it keeps getting funnier.
I mean, holy shit
i will use these as reaction images until i die
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#palestine#free palestine#gaza#free gaza#israel#from the river to the sea palestine will be free#free free palestine#current events#gaza strip#jerusalem#germany#german news#jews#jewdaism#jewblr#antisemitism#never again
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imagination (1963) - harold ordway rugg
"chekhovs cat / schrödingers razor / occams gun"
#chekhov#schrodinger#occam#the three genders#hope everyone has a good halloweekend#and a good hallowtuesday#watched the 1979 nosferatu#it was silly#feel free to recommend more german films#anyway#blackout poetry#blackout poem#author#book#poetry
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I’ve been obsessed with this tweet for a while so I’m posting the it to tumblr to inflict it on more people
#posts that make you watch dungeon meshi German dub#dungeon meshi#marcille#german dub#op if you see this and would like it removed lemme know
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wghatever the fuck this genre of tweet is i cant fucking stop saying mein scheiss Hund as a vocal stim
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Wolpertinger
#artists on tumblr#traditional art#wolpertinger#folklore#german folklore#rabbits and hares#ink#crosshatching#art
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#for reference i say gay-org#like the german name#but i recently learned that apparently people say it differently??? WACK#poll#spiders georg#nat og#1k#2k#5k#10k#15k
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Schtzngrmm
by Ernst Jandl
schtzngrmm
schtzngrmm
t-t-t-t
t-t-t-t
grrrmmmmm
t-t-t-t
s---------c---------h
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
grrrmmmmm
schtzn
schtzn
t-t-t-t
t-t-t-t
schtzngrmm
schtzngrmm
tssssssssssssss
grrt
grrrrrt
grrrrrrrrrt
scht
scht
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
scht
tzngrmm
tzngrmm
t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-t
scht
scht
scht
scht
scht
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
t-tt
Background info:
Viennese poet Ernst Jandl (1925 – 2000), was an active soldier in World War II. In this experimental poem, which plays on the word "Schützengraben", "war trench", he processed his experiences in the tranches of the battlefield. He wrote about this kind of poem: "The speech poem is only effective by reading it out loud, the length and intensity of the sounds are fixed by the spelling. Tension arises from the succession of short and long sounds, hardening of the word by removal of the vowels, disassembling the word and reshuffling of its elements to new, expressive sound groups, varied word repetitions with thematically justified supply of new words to the explosive final punchline."
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give me the state if you're comfy and what languages were offered
#i got curious cause i went to a big international studies HS#we had 5 languages#spanish french german japanese and latin#this was in central florida btw
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Be gay do crime but in Bavaria and we're putting these everywhere
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Karl Gussow - Old Man's Treasure (Das Kätzchen), 1876
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"gordon freeman was 27 he should have been at the club" before getting his Black Mesa job dr. freeman spent a chunk of his twenties in europe in the late 1990s. the reason half life 1's soundtrack is all industrial techno is because that's what's playing in his head 24/7
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